Worst RPG members ever

NoonmanR said:
Edward the Bard from FFIV. Anyone who's special skill is to hide from battle is pretty useless.
Click to expand...
Edward gets worse in the Japanese version: a skill they omitted for the American release was something, I think it was called "Medicine" - what it'd do was, it'd take a Cure1 from your inventory and split it across your party. By the time you get him, Cure1s are already borderline too weak to be useful, so imagine that but divided by 5. Everyone recovers something like 10 HP. And to add insult to injury, it's glitched: if you have multiple stacks of Cure1s, his skill decrements each stack by 1, but it still acts like he only used one. It might just be the worst skill across JRPGs overall.
 
  • Horrifying
Reactions: NoonmanR and JektheDumbass
Roukeru or however you spell it from Tales of Berseria. He's extremely weak compared to the three other melee focused characters and if you benched him early on like 99% of players do ha ha fuck you because about a little over halfway through the game you have to use him for a one on one boss fight against his brother who is extremely strong and if you lose (which you will) it's game over.
 
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Pissmaster
DuranceVile said:
Man Suiko 1 had such a distinctive art style. I want to slap 14 year old me for thinking it looked bad.

Bad party members:

Grandia 3 Anybody who comes after Miranda and Alonso leave your party.

Miranda is the protag's mom, and is actually a pretty cool character. They have a good dynamic together and having a parent figure stick around in a JRPG is pretty rare. You later run into Alonso, a seafaring satyr dude who is pretty chill. IIRC he's voiced by Gene Starwind from Outlaw Star too. A bit of a romance starts up between the two of them. Eventually they decide to split from the party. Went to Gamefaqs to see when they come back. They don't, in fact, the game basically pretends they don't exist from then on. You get way more generic JRPG party members from that point onwards.

They are pretty much the only bright spots of that game's story. I legit couldn't tell you anything about any other character or what happens in the game. There's a reason the Grandia series stopped after this one.

It's a shame too, because Grandia 2 is one of my favorite JRPGs.

On the western RPG side we have Jake Anders from DA2. It was very clear the original DA writers had all left to be replaced by gigglesqueeing whedon huffing tublrinas. Anders got a complete personality lobotomy between Dragon Ages and turned into some fujo's uwu softboi fantasy. I've never relished the taking the option to kick a party member out faster when he does mage 9/11. I think the dwarf was the only party member I actually liked in that game.

DA2 really was the canary in the coalmine that Bioware was dead.
Click to expand...
Supposedly the angry elf supremacist from Awakening (Velanna I think?) was supposed to be possessed by Justice and not Anders at some point in development.

Fuck, they could have made Anders gay pretty easily (lots of gays fuck a lot of women first, thinking they didn't like pussy because they just didn't find the RIGHT one). They could have made him more edgy to represent having a spirit slowly changing into a demon inside him. But I don't like how they reconned his character (a mage that kept escaping the tower by seducing the female templars). Mechanically, I liked the challenge of writing an AI to fully utilize his spirit healer and justice stances (literally the best part of the first two games imo).
 
  • Informative
Reactions: DuranceVile
It depends if we're talking about mechanical uselessness or character.

I don't care about his ''character development'' Luke from Tales of the Abyss can fall off a cliff.
 
Pissmaster said:
Edward gets worse in the Japanese version: a skill they omitted for the American release was something, I think it was called "Medicine" - what it'd do was, it'd take a Cure1 from your inventory and split it across your party. By the time you get him, Cure1s are already borderline too weak to be useful, so imagine that but divided by 5. Everyone recovers something like 10 HP. And to add insult to injury, it's glitched: if you have multiple stacks of Cure1s, his skill decrements each stack by 1, but it still acts like he only used one. It might just be the worst skill across JRPGs overall.
Click to expand...
There's a reason why in any version of the game I don't bother to heal him (unless I'm doing a group heal), let him die, and just drag his useless corpse across the map until he leaves for good a short time later. But if by chance he doesn't die from a single weakass poke from a goblin I use him to dispense potions to Cecil and Rydia. Y'know, the important party members that kick serious actual ass. It really says a lot that Rydia is, like, five or six at this point in the game but is way stronger physically and emotionally compared to a supposedly grown man.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: JektheDumbass, Peru oso donas and Pissmaster
MysticMisty said:
There's a reason why in any version of the game I don't bother to heal him (unless I'm doing a group heal), let him die, and just drag his useless corpse across the map until he leaves for good a short time later. But if by chance he doesn't die from a single weakass poke from a goblin I use him to dispense potions to Cecil and Rydia. Y'know, the important party members that kick serious actual ass. It really says a lot that Rydia is, like, five or six at this point in the game but is way stronger physically and emotionally compared to a supposedly grown man.
Click to expand...
I dunno, I stan Edward in FFIV DS. Being able to use items on everyone at once is great in certain instances, and hiding is great against telegraphed attacks (Mombomb will wreck your shit, hiding with Edward and bracing with Yang will let you raise the other 3 quickly). Sing is also useful as you can select which song you use. Yeah, he's squishy but he's pretty great support.
 
I have a personal beef with Farkas of The Companions in Skyrim. I remember him specifically being a fucking pain in the ass in dungeons especially when I was trying to stealth.
 
Most of Dragon Age Origin's companions are as two-dimensional as it gets, but Oghren is pretty fucking lame when 8-9 years earlier Bioware had a character like Korgan (Who I didn't realize actually does have more going on the more you talk to him).
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back