Would you take the deal of becoming rich if it means being a lolcow?

[SandyCat]

Catch is all the weird, embarrassing and / or degenerate shit you've ever done in your life gets outed and you become the next laughingstock. Null will also call you a nigger and laugh at you on his stream.

Worth it?
Edit - the amount would be 5mil

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

what's weird, embarrassing & degenerate to you is just "another Tuesday morning" to me so yeah fuck it gimme the 5 mil I don't care

Would I have to do/say stupid shit to maintain the lolcow status or else lose the money? Or would y'all just be documenting my boring as fuck life like
"Featured: Kiwi On The Go took a shit this morning."

only if you crack the bowl taking the shit or get stuck or some other retardation

 

[JethroTullamore]

If my family has to see every little retarded/cringy thing I’ve done, than no, no amount of money is worth that shame.

If it’s just you retards, sure, have at me for the 5mil, I’d lurk, cry a little, than go back to the small plot of land in the woods that’d I’d buy and try not to think about it.

 

[Santa Fe Swag]

I'm already on track to become a lolcow, might as well get paid for it.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

As long as I don’t have to troon out, that would be fine.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Being an active lolcow takes a lot of work.

Think of how many absolutely crazy people there are out there, but we never hear about them because they don't have the specific kind of brain trouble that also makes them post constantly/film themselves.

The Internet has been a revolution in the study of psychoceramics, but it's anyone's guess whether e.g. Henry Darger would have been obsessively updating a Deviantart page or would have kept on the same track and had his decades of secret work discovered after he died.

Look at StoneManWarrior here; if he hadn't made his demographically-baffling stumble onto Tumblr, we'd have never been able to read about his delusions. How many StoneManWarriors are out there right now, barricading their house but not updating the Internet on the Canadian terror troops massing at Walmart?

So $5 million to be a lolcow is less "they'll know your secrets" and more of a one-time payment for a part-time job. If I felt the instinctive calling to update social media about my every move, I'd be doing it already. That might be the biggest difference between a lolcow and a lolcow enthusiast. It's not how weird you are, but how driven you are to tell people about it.

 

[IAmNotAlpharius]

Isn’t that just being a celebrity?

 

[Linkola's IT Guy]

Sure. That's enough money for me not to care what anyone thinks of me. The normal person counterpart of lolcow observation is basically celebrity gossip anyways, and we don't typically consider celebrities to have that hard of a life.

 

[TroonsDid911]

Depends on what kind of lolcow I would have to become in order to get paid. Deathfat? Fuck no. Groomer? Obviously not. Zoosadist? Kill me first.

But I already yell like a manchild at the TV when I lose at games so I guess I could become DSP and grift. At least Id use the money to build a large real estate empire and then run for Prime Minister of Cuckistan.