Write a scary story in two sentences

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I opened the refrigerator, and there was no food.

While I took a shit, I noticed that I ran out of toilet paper.

 

[Mr. Skeltal]

You start the evening by going down on your lover. Before too long you begin to taste iron.

 

[Overly Serious]

"Hey kids, your birthday entertainer is here. Let me introduce Yaniv the Clown"

 

[Titos]

The janny turned on the TV.
"Hot Pocket Inc. Has declared bankruptcy".

 

[starborn427614]

The man settled down for the night, comfortable and confident in the fact that he was safe inside his house. However, he was not safe inside his mind.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

You go outside at night and you look at what you thought was the moon. But it turns out to actually be a stellar remnant of a supernova some 50 light years away and now you're about to be fried by the high energy radiation.

 

[The Last Stand]

Null:

We need new moderation for Kiwi Farms. I appoint The Last Stand with admin privileges.

 

[glass_houses]

"We have decided to rebrand the Muppets for a modern, more inclusive world. I present to you: the Trappets!"

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Null:

We need new moderation for Kiwi Farms. I appoint The Last Stand with admin privileges.

@The Last Stand is appointed admin. Profile pictures are replaced by photos of actresses from the Golden Age of Hollywood.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

You go outside at night and you look at what you thought was the moon. But it turns out to actually be a stellar remnant of a supernova some 50 light years away and now you're about to be fried by the high energy radiation.

You notice that the moon is unusually bright and large tonight. You then realize that the moon is actually HIS THRONE.

 

[glass_houses]

Kevin Gibes walks into the room. He sits down beside you.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Finally, after all of the waiting lists and availability issues, the vaccine was hers!

Little did she know, aggregated platelets and red blood cells forming a plug, and a mesh of cross-linked fibrin protein swam furiously and inevitably toward their final resting spot--her brain.

 

[bearycool]

I eat.
You keep crying about how slowly I consume you.

 

[The Spice boi]

I gambled on a fart

And I lost

 

[tehpope]

Chris Chan finally got a girlfriend. Too bad its his own mother.

 

[Bloitzhole]

They were wrong to think him gone.
Bob was Barbara all along.

 

[TV's Adam West]

I woke this morning to and began to cuddle the person in my bed next to me. I then realized that I live alone.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

Gary Busey bursts through the wall, Koolaid man style.
He slams down a garbage bag filled with Treet (the welfare off brand Spam) and declares “We’re making a meat mountain!”

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

This chair is certainly not comfortable and it must be because of this diaper, what the... where am I, I don't live here, who are these people?

 

[Drkinferno72]

I’m pregnant.
You’re the father,