Let's Sperg Wurm Unlimited: Kiwi/4chan/8chan crossplay Server is online - Kiwi fortress grows strong, Join us today. (White dragon hatchling on the loose!)

[KonradCruise]

Every year, the finest autistic leeches stop undulating and screeching about loud noises. The season has changed and the new year has arrived. They travel miles searching for videogames to soothe the black-hunger of boredom, finally they arrive at their yearly nesting ground: Wurm Unlimited. Each year they duke it out to figure out who has the finest %playername% meat pizza, the fastest cart, and the brightest dyes on their armor.

What is Wurm Unlimited?
Wurm Unlimited is the free range, more forgiving version of an autistic online MMO known as Wurm: Online created by FUCKING ROLF (the man who taught notch all of his terrible javascript habits)
Wurm allows you to modify terrain, build housing, slay dragons and trolls, tame fantastic creatures, build a ship and sail the seas, Smith masterful weapons and armor, Cook and Brew alcohol of all flavors, and die to a tortoise in the finest armor your village has More!
The game works on a QL system much like haven and hearth, the finer your skills and tools, the finer the potential outcomes (with a cap at ql99 to prevent quality spiraling unlike haven and hearth)
You assemble your items piece by piece with a chance of rarity on each part, and a chance of transferring that rarity, but rarity rolls can happen during nearly any action meaning you may end up with a shiny pile of dirt or a glimmering treestump. Every metal and material has different properties, cosmetic appearance and traits (lead arrows/weapons for instance are of course heavier, halve your physical damage cap but deal 25% of that lost damage as an additional poison wound, which gives a very small RNG chance of killing you each healing tick)

The Factions: This is entirely arbitrary and you can join whatever you want, and players can use the statue of their gods to convert you
White lighters (Followers of the three nice gods)
Mol Rehan: (red and gold aesthetic, rounded guard towers) 8chan remnants
Jenn-Kellon: (Green, blue and gold, square towers) The recommended kiwifarms faction

Black Lighters (followers of BIG MOMMY MILKERS fallen angel but with AIDS)
Horde of the Summoned: (purple, edgy cancer mycellium grass, scythes, ghosts, necromancy, Mordor Guard towers) 4chan

Third position:
Freedom(they exist, Jean-kellon theme copy, faction is truly independent from all others. admin has put less effort into freedom spawn as it hosts hardcore hermit players mostly)

Server history:
The server is hosted occasionally for a few months at a time since the first 4chan exodus by a decent sized conglomerate of 8chan remnants and 4chan players alike every so often when the time is right and people burn for a time sink. With multiple iterations and many injokes and culture formed by this dedicated group of cross-website players over all this time. Invitations are extended to literally anywhere else anyone sees fit to increase the overall fun to be had. Now your invitation has washed up on the shores of the farms.

Information/How to join:

IP AND PORT:

98.240.216.235 PORT: 3724

https://pastebin.com/zyz9BmQ3
Server is live.
Pirate friendly: Fully cracked Client is available with mods and server files preloaded: https://mega.nz/folder/SZwDDZqY#SOBwLZAq4_HuixQPZX45wQ OR https://www.mediafire.com/file/hclcos0toe7j4qq/Wurm_Unlimited.zip/file (faster)
You can still join with a legitimate version of Wurm Unlimited purchased cheap from steam or G2A.
Current threads: https://zzzchan.xyz/v/thread/42897.htmlhttps://8chan.moe/v/res/263464.htmlInstallation: Download ZIP from either link and unpack to an empty folder of your choice. read the READMENIGGER.txt and follow brief instructions. run the game via the .exe and join server using the IP and port.

server rates: 3x learning action rate : changes every goddamn restart

Screenshots and Fun:

disclaimer: first thread please bully.

 

[KonradCruise]

Just a bit more I didn't want to toss into the OP.
@Null it would be incredibly based if you shilled this, its gonna be a good time.


The map we will be playing on with spawns and god altar locations:

 

[A Shi Piao Teapot]

Thanks for posting this, time to lose another 100 hours of my life.

 

[KonradCruise]

Cracked client has been released, added to OP, this will give you an opportunity to fiddle around on a private instance, but try not to spoil yourselves before the main event on the 2nd

 

[Peasant]

God help me, I might get dragged into this autistic bullshit again.

 

[KonradCruise]

Its a bit late now but I should have also demonstrated properly the kind of terraforming, city building, gardening and general look and feel of wurm. Here are some prime examples of cities built during one of the smaller iterations of the server and activities.

It should be noted that mineshafts can be turned into full underground canals for Galleon sized boats and pirate-cove Ports. One famous Wurm Online playerbase made a massive underground canal that spanned between the two great lakes of the server.

 

[KonradCruise]

Mediafire link has been released so that you actually have a chance of downloading the entire 1.9gb cracked game client before april 2nd instead of sitting through megauploads 2b/s download speeds.

 

[Peasant]

A couple of quick PSAs:

HOTKEYS:
If you're thinking of playing this, then you should know that regular gameplay consists of an enormous amount of clicking through windows. Fortunately, a great deal of this can be alleviated with hotkeys, and I strongly recommend you do so in order to save your sanity. Simply press F1 to open a console, then enter "bind (key) (action)" to quickly create a bind for whatever you're doing at the moment. For instance, if you're mining, then you can use "bind x mine_forward" in order to queue a mining action on the rock tile you hover your mouse over. Then you can watch a show or something while you periodically look at your stamina bar to see when it's time to make a few more keystrokes.

You can find a list of bindable actions here: https://www.wurmpedia.com/index.php/Key_bindings
For starters, I suggest making binds for dropping, picking up, repairing, and improving items.

SKILLGAIN:
The second important thing to know is that skillgain works differently between Wurm Online and Wurm Unlimited, and the Wiki will probably give you bad information. In Wurm Unlimited, which is what we are playing, skillgain is flat, meaning every action you do always gives you the exact same amount of gains. This isn't a good system, but it's way better than Online's RNG cock and ball torture where you have to gimp yourself with stupid handicaps to even have a chance of an action giving you gains.

Anyway, this means that the most effective way to grind skills is with short repetitive actions. For instance, the fastest way to grind woodcutting is not by deforesting the land, but by making kindling out of logs and wood scrap since it's governed by the woodcutting skill for some reason. The wiki will insist that improving items is the best way to grind crafting skills, but this is not true for Unlimited unless you're grinding fine carpentry. Just figure out what you can make the fastest and cheapest and grind those out.

Armed with this knowledge, you should have a less bad time figuring out this abysmally coded grindfest.

 

[A-Z0-9]

Yeah, so I need some help getting the Wurm Launcher to work. I have done all that the readme states I need to do, yet when I open either the normal launcher or the server launcher, a cmd window appears with "Press any key..." message on the console. Regardless of how long I wait or if I press any key, the launcher simply fails to materialize. The issue is the same on the server launcher, but with a "Failed to load jvm.dll" message printed alongside the aforementioned "Press any key...". I have tried the following:

• Updating Java x64 to latest and deleting all old copies
• Running the launcher in safe mode
• Running the launcher in all different compatibility modes
• Updating all the microsoft visual stuff
• Restarting. Multiple times.

I would really appreciate any help in getting the launcher to work. I don't want to miss the autism that the upcoming server is bound to release upon the world and I wish to experience it alongside fellow autists. Thank you in advance.

 

[KonradCruise]

Yeah, so I need some help getting the Wurm Launcher to work. I have done all that the readme states I need to do, yet when I open either the normal launcher or the server launcher, a cmd window appears with "Press any key..." message on the console. Regardless of how long I wait or if I press any key, the launcher simply fails to materialize. The issue is the same on the server launcher, but with a "Failed to load jvm.dll" message printed alongside the aforementioned "Press any key...". I have tried the following:

• Updating Java x64 to latest and deleting all old copies
• Running the launcher in safe mode
• Running the launcher in all different compatibility modes
• Updating all the microsoft visual stuff
• Restarting. Multiple times.

I would really appreciate any help in getting the launcher to work. I don't want to miss the autism that the upcoming server is bound to release upon the world and I wish to experience it alongside fellow autists. Thank you in advance.

I own wurm myself, so I just tested the installation.
I followed the following steps
1. lazily unpack wurm to WURMCLIENT folder I made in my downloads folder
2. change Playername in ali123.ini to Konrad
3. change my id string in the ali123.ini file to a random string
The specifics of step 3 are I noted that the example ID string was 11 digits long, I thus changed my ID string to a random 11 character string, saved the file (make sure you actually saved your ini changes or I bet you will feel dumb)
4. run the game using WurmLauncher.exe
5. the games launcher appeared as expected and you can now connect to the theoretical pirate friendly server using its address.

If this doesn't help, i've asked the serverhost to check out your post and will relay feedback. otherwise konrad might be able to spot an internet stranger a genuine key via g2a because konrad has money. Alternatively, try redownloading the file in .zip format from the mediafire link and restart the process (after unzipping it of course or it simply wont work) as you may have accidentally removed some formatting/syntax on the ini file.

edit: reveal your OS, and also control+F search the client.log file in wurmlauncher folder for anything tagged SEVERE

edit2:


tl:dr grab mediafire client and try unzipping it to a folder or point your current install to your PC java installation.

 

[A-Z0-9]

edit2:


tl:dr grab mediafire client and try unzipping it to a folder or point your current install to your PC java installation.

Thank you for the help, this got the launcher working. I highly appreciate the assistance and will be seeing you amongst the four-leaf horde.

 

[Peasant]

So I've spent an hour or two looking at the map, and I've come up with what I think would be a good location for a Kiwi Farms settlement, assuming we choose to play the Freedom Isles faction:

Spoiler: Extremely Autistic Analysis

When selecting a spot for a settlement in Wurm, there are several things you want to consider:
1) Access to resources including clay, tar, and peat
2) Plenty of deep rock for mining
3) Access to trees both for building material and useful fruit
4) Nearby water for boats
5) Proximity to hostile kingdoms

The spot I've chosen has all points covered except for tar. This map doesn't have an abundance of what I would call great settling spots, and it's largely due to the sparse spread of above ground resources. The most egregious issue here is that there is precisely one (1) tar pit in the entire world as far as I can tell, and here it is:


I found one other decent settling spot that would put us much closer to the tar, but I'm hesitant to ask new players to walk 2/3 of the way across the world. Tar is used primarily for building boats and also for fueling light sources, but we can make do without a tar pit. An alternative source of tar is charcoal piles, which could get us enough to make a small number of boats without too much trouble. As for keeping our lamps lit, it wouldn't be very difficult to start an olive oil industry as you don't need a tremendous amount of oil to keep the lights on. Peat, which is represented by the brown splotches on the map, is used as fuel for ovens, forges, smelters, and so on. If you don't have a peat source, then you'll need to use wood instead, which can become a bit problematic if you have a large settlement, which we almost certainly won't. It's mostly a nice convenience.

Really, clay is the only non negotiable resource here, as it along with sand are used to make mortar for constructing stone buildings. As long as there's clay nearby and the rock layer is plenty deep, we can swing any location. I'm unsure about how much trouble, if any, the other kingdoms might make for us, but as long as we maintain a healthy proximity from their lands then I'm cautiously optimistic. We definitely shouldn't settle very close to the black light (highlighted on figure two), as that's an invitation for the 4chan Horde of the Summoned to fuck with us.

I don't know how many people we'll get, but I'd like input from others, especially for the name of our humble village.

 

[KonradCruise]

four-leaf horde.

Hotsfags are a decent crowd, but I have standards as an exodite. I will be playing with my own group and will mentor kiwis rather than playing with 8chan as my attachment to anyone who still allows mark roll all over them is none. If any of you have questions ingame, refer to konrad.

Some of you rating here should come together and communicate which faction you would like to play most so you can group up

I don't know how many people we'll get, but I'd like input from others, especially for the name of our humble village.

After speaking with the admin two or three days ago about the tar situation it looks like he might also be putting some additional tar around the map, otherwise his response is unfortunately "JUST MAKE COAL PILES LAZY FUCK"

 

[Peasant]

After speaking with the admin two or three days ago about the tar situation it looks like he might also be putting some additional tar around the map, otherwise his response is unfortunately "JUST MAKE COAL PILES LAZY FUCK"

Maybe he can give JK some clay while he's at it. Their lands look comically shitty, even worse than the swampy shithole Freedom is stuck in.

I heavily disagree with the admins choice of autistic map vision and the fact that it isin't surrounded by ocean as is traditional so instead I have been informed when you reach the edge of the map it will look like the edge of gm_flatgrass instead. very silly. The map is the solid foundation upon which the entire server is built on, I wish he had put some more thought into it especially since it will be that first magical time for many kiwis.

It's not a bad looking map, really. Aside from some dumb things like the HotS spawn being farthest away from the black light and the weird way the swamp is laid out, it's a pretty fair attempt at a more atypical Wurm experience. I do appreciate the distinct feeling regions, but a lot of the map just isn't going to be used because of the weird resource scarcity. Perhaps that's intentional in order to funnel settlers away from spots that could have dungeons or secret things, but that's a charitable interpretation.

 

[KonradCruise]

Maybe he can give JK some clay while he's at it. Their lands look comically shitty, even worse than the swampy shithole Freedom is stuck in.

I heavily disagree with the admins choice of autistic map vision and the fact that it isin't surrounded by ocean as is traditional so instead I have been informed when you reach the edge of the map it will look like the edge of gm_flatgrass instead. very silly. The map is the solid foundation upon which the entire server is built on, I wish he had put some more thought into it especially since it will be that first magical time for many kiwis.

 

[KonradCruise]

Update: the admin has stated that FREEDOM isles has less developed spawn and not starting content as it was never a true faction and is meant for hardcore hermits. Anyone reading this should join Jenn-Kellon (JK) in three days time to band together with your fellow kiwis.
JK also has kingdom stuff fully implemented so a king can be selected and titles can be awarded to our finest.

 

[Peasant]

Well shit, in that case, here's my suggestions for settlement locations, numbered in order of preference:

The upside of starting in this area of the map is that we have easy access to hunting grounds for grinding fight skill and pelts, but I'm a bit concerned about the rock layer. You really don't want to get cucked out of mining by hitting the water table. For that reason alone, settling in the mountainous area to the north of spawn may be the right call, but I'd be rushing to build a bridge over the river to the clay source as soon as possible. Still, spot number 1 looks the best to me, and it's not quite as far of a hike as the spot I proposed for Freedom.

 

[KonradCruise]

Well shit, in that case, here's my suggestions for settlement locations, numbered in order of preference:

I like this spot in particular and after communicating with the admin, we will most likely get a tar and clay deposit here within reasonable distance.

 

[Peasant]

I like this spot in particular and after communicating with the admin, we will most likely get a tar and clay deposit here within reasonable distance.

Yeah I was eyeballing that area, but the proximity to the HotS gave me pause. If they do what I would and build their settlement out by that lake next to the peat, we'd be within spitting distance of each other. Possible PvP is an unknown factor here.

 

[KonradCruise]

Yeah I was eyeballing that area, but the proximity to the HotS gave me pause. If they do what I would and build their settlement out by that lake next to the peat, we'd be within spitting distance of each other. Possible PvP is an unknown factor here.

if we get the turnout I expect, one hour of hitting some training dummies for each villager should make us a kiwitide to not be pestered.