- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
If I remember right it was two coelicanths, Randall, Quote Me Now, Sippycup, Absinthe, Pernod, and Mauvboy. One of the coelicanths was left behind and one of the guys hit by the grenade might have been unconscious instead of dead
X-Com 2: Kiwis Under The Sea
- Thread starter Tavern Explorer
- Start date
Organic Fapcup
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
E
EI 903
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
MARCH 17, 2040
The barracks are looking awfully empty dudes. The three remaining soldiers are like all PTSDed out and shit, like they just sort of keep to themselves.... We gotta get some new blood in here and fast.
The first full-sized draft wave of the war will be coming in soon. I just hope it'll be here before the tangos try something else.
MARCH 19, 2040
FINALLY, some shit's gotten done in the nerd department.
I look at the new face of #WaterDickSquad with fucking contempt, dude. From the sounds of it these fuckers are a lot older than a lot of the other water tangos...the bastards have been assassinating souls for longer than humanity's been around. Heh, like, now the prisoners we took will be assassinating their own souls though.
Meanwhile, the draft's come in safely and there's a mix of new and old faces. A few recruits of note are Opulence, a heavy from the last war's endgame, and Saney, back with his grandson WonkoTheSaney to finish the fight for the family name. Also this one niggo has just sort of showed up with the others...he keeps going on about "Bruh Law" and shit but he smokes a lot of weed and he seems good with a gun so, like, welcome aboard to Twon I guess.
They haven't shown up a moment too soon, either. The tangos have luanched ANOTHER port assault
The Triton's loaded up with all new faces and a tactical coelacanth and sent out. I'm not gonna lose the vets this fudcking early
COMBAT REPORT
The Outist unloads with the two coelacanths and gets down. There's an awful lot of tangos here dude, if grenades start flying this'll get FUCKED UP quick.
Dammit, the sped is killed on the next turn Lawyer Holden rushes out and fills the downed soldier's position--we can't bring out more people at a time until the coelacanths clear more of the perimeter dude, those grenades are not to be fucked with--
Fuck!!
No, wait...
The coelacanth survived the explosion!
The barracks are looking awfully empty dudes. The three remaining soldiers are like all PTSDed out and shit, like they just sort of keep to themselves.... We gotta get some new blood in here and fast.
The first full-sized draft wave of the war will be coming in soon. I just hope it'll be here before the tangos try something else.
MARCH 19, 2040
FINALLY, some shit's gotten done in the nerd department.
I look at the new face of #WaterDickSquad with fucking contempt, dude. From the sounds of it these fuckers are a lot older than a lot of the other water tangos...the bastards have been assassinating souls for longer than humanity's been around. Heh, like, now the prisoners we took will be assassinating their own souls though.
Meanwhile, the draft's come in safely and there's a mix of new and old faces. A few recruits of note are Opulence, a heavy from the last war's endgame, and Saney, back with his grandson WonkoTheSaney to finish the fight for the family name. Also this one niggo has just sort of showed up with the others...he keeps going on about "Bruh Law" and shit but he smokes a lot of weed and he seems good with a gun so, like, welcome aboard to Twon I guess.
They haven't shown up a moment too soon, either. The tangos have luanched ANOTHER port assault
The Triton's loaded up with all new faces and a tactical coelacanth and sent out. I'm not gonna lose the vets this fudcking early
COMBAT REPORT
The Outist unloads with the two coelacanths and gets down. There's an awful lot of tangos here dude, if grenades start flying this'll get FUCKED UP quick.
Dammit, the sped is killed on the next turn
Lawyer Holden rushes out and fills the downed soldier's position--we can't bring out more people at a time until the coelacanths clear more of the perimeter dude, those grenades are not to be fucked with--
Fuck!!
No, wait...
The coelacanth survived the explosion!
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
COMBAT REPORT CONCLUSION:
It turns and takes out the grenadier, bitch, like that was a #Prank on that fucker's life.
Two for two bitch, two shots and two tangos dead from this tank!
Lawyer Holden charges forward while Ballex and the second coelacanth cover. This move's awfully risky but hopefully it'll work--
SHIT
Ballex snipes another tango while moving toward Holden. Basically like #Rolelay dude, he's basically like "Shit grandpa wouldn't want me to leave guys behind, get up dammit!"
Now that there's a little more space DeagleSon420 can get off, and when he does he drops a tango fast. Heh, like, I guess it runs in the family dude, the kid has the potential to be a tactical sniper in him.
Meanwhile the same type of explosion that knocked out Holden's gotten Ballex! The FUCK dude, I'm guessing this is the water tangos' stun bomb then?
And a tango grenade almost scraps the second coelacanth
The things truly tactical though okay, he takes out the enemy that hit him and keeps looking for targets. The tank's one tough motherfucker, it'll fight accurately and tactically until it can't fight anymore.
With that grenade threat out of the way WonkoTheSaney turns the corner to look for who's knocking out are troops...
And takes out the culprit with like, #ExtremePrejudice dudes.
There's a bit of a lull now, gamers. With almost all the tangos down everyone still up breaks from their positions and starts working to find whoever's left.
The near-ruined coelacanth finds the last one and finishes the fight.
FUCK YEAH dude, FINALLY some good shit's come our way! 11 aliens killed, 3 taken prisoner, and only one operative dead out of three downed. FUCK yeah dude, THERE'S the tactics that won us the war!
Ballex and DeagleSon are both sergeants after their tactical work during this op. They'll be the tactical role models this new generation of soldiers needs, no doubt dude.
And look at that, the nerds have been able to piece together an actual briefing of what's going on with these tangos. Shit looks like some heavy intel, but I'm not even worried right now. This was one fudcking nice win man, if we can replicate these tactics in the ops to come then, heh, like #Checkmate, tangos.
It turns and takes out the grenadier, bitch, like that was a #Prank on that fucker's life.
Two for two bitch, two shots and two tangos dead from this tank!
Lawyer Holden charges forward while Ballex and the second coelacanth cover. This move's awfully risky but hopefully it'll work--
SHIT
Ballex snipes another tango while moving toward Holden. Basically like #Rolelay dude, he's basically like "Shit grandpa wouldn't want me to leave guys behind, get up dammit!"
Now that there's a little more space DeagleSon420 can get off, and when he does he drops a tango fast. Heh, like, I guess it runs in the family dude, the kid has the potential to be a tactical sniper in him.
Meanwhile the same type of explosion that knocked out Holden's gotten Ballex! The FUCK dude, I'm guessing this is the water tangos' stun bomb then?
And a tango grenade almost scraps the second coelacanth
The things truly tactical though okay, he takes out the enemy that hit him and keeps looking for targets. The tank's one tough motherfucker, it'll fight accurately and tactically until it can't fight anymore.
With that grenade threat out of the way WonkoTheSaney turns the corner to look for who's knocking out are troops...
And takes out the culprit with like, #ExtremePrejudice dudes.
There's a bit of a lull now, gamers. With almost all the tangos down everyone still up breaks from their positions and starts working to find whoever's left.
The near-ruined coelacanth finds the last one and finishes the fight.
FUCK YEAH dude, FINALLY some good shit's come our way! 11 aliens killed, 3 taken prisoner, and only one operative dead out of three downed. FUCK yeah dude, THERE'S the tactics that won us the war!
Ballex and DeagleSon are both sergeants after their tactical work during this op. They'll be the tactical role models this new generation of soldiers needs, no doubt dude.
And look at that, the nerds have been able to piece together an actual briefing of what's going on with these tangos. Shit looks like some heavy intel, but I'm not even worried right now. This was one fudcking nice win man, if we can replicate these tactics in the ops to come then, heh, like #Checkmate, tangos.
Organic Fapcup
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
I don't suppose it's too late to mention Organic Sippycup was just a clone of another guy named Organic Fappuchino, is it?
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2014
Commander, it's time to send in Randall Fragg's least favorite descendants: Rusty Fragg, Randy Jr, and Random Fagg.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
There's no way you people are having that much sex and not getting slapped with child support bills
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Duh because we're dead. We had the kids went to war and never came back.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
And it sadly seems to have become a tragic family tradition...
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2014
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2013
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
MARCH 27, 2040
The nerds have finished another bit of research. We've learned some about those FUCKED UP grenades the tangos love to use so much...heh, like, let's see how like they like a taste of their own medicine dudes.
And like #NightOps dude, we've cleared another dick sub and taken more prisoners. We lost WonkoTheSaney for this win, though
The thing that could've saved him is re-researched at last a couple days later
The nerds are on a roll now, dude. Next up on the list is interrogating the dick dad of the last terror attack. Getting more intel on what's going on is essential. After that, then we can start learning about all the parts that make the dick subs tick.
APRIL 1, 2040
The suits are really happy about our progress for the most part, too! FUCK yeah gamers, we're not out of the crucial danger zone yet but we're turning stuff back around.
The nerds have finished another bit of research. We've learned some about those FUCKED UP grenades the tangos love to use so much...heh, like, let's see how like they like a taste of their own medicine dudes.
And like #NightOps dude, we've cleared another dick sub and taken more prisoners. We lost WonkoTheSaney for this win, though
The thing that could've saved him is re-researched at last a couple days later
The nerds are on a roll now, dude. Next up on the list is interrogating the dick dad of the last terror attack. Getting more intel on what's going on is essential. After that, then we can start learning about all the parts that make the dick subs tick.
APRIL 1, 2040
The suits are really happy about our progress for the most part, too! FUCK yeah gamers, we're not out of the crucial danger zone yet but we're turning stuff back around.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
CRUCIAL DANGER COMBAT REPORT DUDE:
DUDE THIS IS FUCKED UP!! This was supposed to just be #NightOps dude but this thing's FUCKED UP okay, it's taken like twelve tank shots without slowing down dude! And it has melee damage too, the coelacanth is almost dead! This is FICKED EHHHHHHHHHHP, what the FUCK is it?!
Ballex and a few others unload from the Triton, basically they're like "Whaaaaat," you know, 'cause like the coelacanth hasn't had trouble with a single tango before. They start taking out those new tango grenades we researched dude, like just in case--
OH MY GOD
Oh my GOD dude, this is FUCKED UP! The team starts spreading out and running for where the coelacanth was scrapped!
Ballex gets eyes on and Holden fires a torpedo at the fucker, basically they're like "#CHECKMATE BITCH"--
UNREALISTIC
Rug Burned Man throws Holden a larger-grade torpedo, and like #DangerRoleplay dude, he's basically like "Heh, like, go with God and a bigger gun, dude."
Safety Scissors helps out too, tossing a tango grenade up to Ballex. They're like the front line dude, if that fuck gets close with enough melee power to take out a tank...
FUDCK, Ballex!!
Holden's larger torpedo didn't work either dude, this is FUCKING FUCKED UP
FUCK IT, okay, FUCK IT, throw fucking everything! A tango grenade, three regular grenades and a proximity bomb land right at the fucker's feet dude, let's see the fucker take this!
FUCK YEAH BITCH
Jesus CHRIST, that was fucked up! That was supposed to be a routine mission dude, what the FUCK was that and why did it take so long to kill? We've gotten behind on the tech race gamers, no tango should ever take that much to get put down. This was like, you know, like a rude awakening and shit, like showing us just how much of a fine edge we're walking between tactical victory and FUCKED UP defeat.
DUDE THIS IS FUCKED UP!!
This was supposed to just be #NightOps dude but this thing's FUCKED UP okay, it's taken like twelve tank shots without slowing down dude! And it has melee damage too, the coelacanth is almost dead! This is FICKED EHHHHHHHHHHP, what the FUCK is it?!
Ballex and a few others unload from the Triton, basically they're like "Whaaaaat," you know, 'cause like the coelacanth hasn't had trouble with a single tango before. They start taking out those new tango grenades we researched dude, like just in case--
OH MY GOD
Oh my GOD dude, this is FUCKED UP! The team starts spreading out and running for where the coelacanth was scrapped!
Ballex gets eyes on and Holden fires a torpedo at the fucker, basically they're like "#CHECKMATE BITCH"--
UNREALISTIC
Rug Burned Man throws Holden a larger-grade torpedo, and like #DangerRoleplay dude, he's basically like "Heh, like, go with God and a bigger gun, dude."
Safety Scissors helps out too, tossing a tango grenade up to Ballex. They're like the front line dude, if that fuck gets close with enough melee power to take out a tank...
FUDCK, Ballex!!
Holden's larger torpedo didn't work either dude, this is FUCKING FUCKED UP
FUCK IT, okay, FUCK IT, throw fucking everything! A tango grenade, three regular grenades and a proximity bomb land right at the fucker's feet dude, let's see the fucker take this!
FUCK YEAH BITCH
Jesus CHRIST, that was fucked up! That was supposed to be a routine mission dude, what the FUCK was that and why did it take so long to kill? We've gotten behind on the tech race gamers, no tango should ever take that much to get put down. This was like, you know, like a rude awakening and shit, like showing us just how much of a fine edge we're walking between tactical victory and FUCKED UP defeat.
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2013
It's time to unleash Exball's estranged brother Sexball who is dying from AIDS and wants to be remembered for a sacrifice.
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2014
JULY 1, 2040
It's been a nasty couple of months gamers, but things have finally started looking up again. We've finally researched a weapon that's not completely unrealistic, and now we can--
What
WHAT
WHAT
It's been a nasty couple of months gamers, but things have finally started looking up again. We've finally researched a weapon that's not completely unrealistic, and now we can--
What
WHAT
WHAT
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2013
JULY 1, 2040
It's been a nasty couple of months gamers, but things have finally started looking up again. We've finally researched a weapon that's not completely unrealistic, and now we can--
What
WHAT
WHAT
You dun goofed son.