Your Super Game Shame - you know deep down how much you suck

I just got Cuphead and I beat that vegetable boss level before going to the run and gun one that I think is the proper "Level One" but I kept dying on it and can't get through, but I'll continue trying and I'll tell people here how that goes.
 
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I'm so fucking miserable at SRPGs, and there's no reason for it. I'm fine at RPGs. Standard strategy games are no problem, whether they're turnbased or realtime. The second you give those units an XP bar, though, I'm done. Whether it's Front Mission, Fire Emblem, FFT, any of the Falcom games, Tactics Ogre... Doesn't matter. I will reliably hit a wall I can't manage in the first half-dozen missions.
 
Corypheus said:
I tend to savescum a lot in XCOM 2.
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I think savescuming needs a qualifier to understand whether it was okay or cheap.

Old timey games like NES era stuff are just begging you to use an emulated quicksave feature. Especially if you didn't play them when you were younger and are only checking them out for cultural enrichment purposes, and don't necessarily have 3 years to throw at memorizing enemy attack patterns long enough to get to the last boss.
For the same reason, quicksave abuse makes perfect sense if you're just trying to tear through a modern game because you have a limited amount of free time. There's something to be said for Gitting Gud, but personally my list of games I haven't played but want to someday check out is already longer than the amount of free time I'll have allotted for the next two decades or so. If I have to quicksave through a tricky spot to avoid throwing away 15 hours of gameplay, I honestly don't feel too bad for it.

But if you're just save scumming to abuse something that gets picked at random, it's more cheap. It's not necessarily bad, I mean you play the game how you want in the end, but you know deep down if you're just freezing and restarting your own progress or if you're abusing a power for your own gain.

One of the things I liked about the game Oni was that it didn't have a save feature. It just had checkpoints, and you just had to be skilled enough to reach the next one. It was frustrating and sometimes difficult, but that's what games of skill (and sport) are for in the end. To make you angry enough at your own flaws that you focus on getting better just to prove a point.
 
This is probably too easy of a shot, but fuck it.

When I was little I had a GameCube and at the time I had owned two of one of the most loved and hated Mario games, Sunshine and Double Dash, and for the life of me, I could NEVER beat the first level of either of them. Seriously, I was stuck on the Bianco Hills' stage for god knows how long until I had enough shrines to get to the next stage. It probably took me months, literal MONTHS, for me to beat ONE STAGE in this game. And once I got to the other stages, those were an absolute pain in the ass to deal with, with how some of Sunshine's levels feeling so half-baked and physically/collisionally broken you have to wonder if the GameDevs actually thought this through for a little child's mind. It probably took me over a year just to beat this game, as for DoubleDash, I honestly had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I probably didn't know how to use items or how to get past other racers, sometimes I would just sit idle because it would make it seem like I was in head first if they looped around the stage long enough for the map to look like I was ahead.

I'll be blunt, I was a pretty retarded kid back then that didn't know jackshit about anything other than his imagination and having fun with whatever, and a large part of the faults I made in those games was mostly by me and not the games themselves, (although that "bring the Yoshi onto the boat to spray away the yellow stuff on the pipe" part was absolute bullshit on the devs part). Even though I could probably beat sunshine in 1 day without the need to collect every shrine, that past man... the fact that I was so shitty at playing that game back then, really keeps me from enjoying it's full potential today and I may not ever like it as much as everyone else does... :( same can be aid with DoubleDash...
 
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I only owned Banjo Tooie as a kid and didn't play the first game until years later. I never beat it, I just can't get into it at all. The only fighting game I've ever been remotely competent in was Soul Calibur 2 due to the low execution ceiling. Me and a friend took 20 something hours strait to beat Alma in Ninja Gaiden Black due to saving right before the fight at half health with no heal items.
 
After the incident in the Dankmeme Dungeon run where a cloud save bug caused me to lose an entire party, I maintain constant backups of the (the) Kiwi Farms estate. There are many who would argue that doing this cheapens the experience. These many can go fuck themselves.

The game fucking bugged out and cloud ruined what had heretofore been a flawless run. That's not a failure on my part or those of my heroes, that shit's on Darkest Dungeon's coding and the faggotry of the Cloud ruining my fucking game. This run is specifically for the Farms, and I will be damned if I'm letting shit like that ruin the experience.

And if you do this, don't feel bad either. Fucking Darkest Dungeon cheats. I've checked the algorithms. I know.

Oh, the critical rates, the damage, they're all "fair" and the results of RNG. But the way the enemies target, and the actions they take? Fuck no. Every enemy does its actions, starting on Veteran, to fuck the player as hard and as brutally as possible. It will stress-spike vulnerable characters, it will pound characters at death's door, and it will abuse blight and bleed to cause casualties. Given how much of Dankest Dungeon is nothing but fucking RNG bullshit - and I say that as a fan of this game - you absolutely should not feel remotely bad if you do backup saves periodically in order to reload from in order to recover from a game-ending fuck-up.
 
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I made it almost through the Mass Effect series before I realized I could have sexual trysts with the characters. I think it's when you fire up the third one, it asks who you've had a relationship with in the past, and I was like OMG, NOBODY because that would be terrible for ship's morale and discipline!

I'm such a square, lol.
 
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Two-for-one in Shadow of the Colossus HD. While lizard hunting, I blasted myself straight off a cliff because I got the brilliant idea to shoot the little bastard with an explosive arrow while he was less than a foot away. After reloading my save, I somehow glitched the horse into jumping off the same cliff and despawning from the map. Running around that wasteland alone is surprisingly spooky.
 
Literally me every time I play an FPS

Shove it up your aaaaaaass

I put two dicks in my ass, HE DOESN'T GET TO ME AT AAAALL

Two dicks in my ass

Three dicks in my ass

Four dicks is enough FUCK IT FIVE DICKS

Five fucking dicks, let's go for six

SEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

FUCK MY ASS, FUCK MY ASS, GO FUCK. MY AAAAASS.
 
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Long ago in the 90's I got a computer game called Phantasmagoria 2. It's an point and click adventure game. At one point in the game you find a little strong box that's locked and you have to open it. All I had was a screwdriver and a hammer and I had no idea how to open this box. This was back when the internet was young and it didn't occur to me to look up how to get past this part online. I tried everything I could think of, even restarting multiple times to see if I missed anything before giving up and uninstalling the game.

5 years later I found it while unpacking after a move and reinstalled it for nostalgia's sake. When I got to the part with the lock box I tried using the screwdriver on the hammer and that caused a cut scene where the player uses both tools to open the box. This is the only time in the game I can remember where you used two items to do something. After that I was able to play the rest of the game and beat it in a day. The ending sucked and I was disappointed.
 
I suck at fighting games like street fighter and Mortal Kombat. Back when I was a wee kiwi I was alright, but years of not playing made it worse.
Anyone who can kick ass on those, my hats off to ya.
 
I kinda suck at FPS but like playing them and I'm a master at platforming games. :\
 
I made it all the way to the end of Dark Souls II on a spell heavy hexer build before I realized I could infuse staffs and chimes, but it's my NG+ playthrough of SotFS in Champion's Covenant that is truly exposing how much I suck. Even the Flexile Sentry is kicking my ass.

My Champions run build is strength heavy with light armor (for fashion only), an ultra great sword for big hits in my right hand and pyromancy or a quick weapon in my left for pokes, no shields or bows. I could probably beat Flexile easy if I used a shield but that would make me an even bigger cuck.
 
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scorptatious said:
The original Rayman on ps1 was ridiculously hard.
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I had the original Rayman on PC. It is exactly what you say it is - ridiculously unforgiving with borderline unfair mechanics in many places.

That said I played the everloving fuck out of it for years and I did beat it, but only with the help of cheat codes giving me 99 lives or continues or whatever it was.

Jaimas said:
And if you do this, don't feel bad either. Fucking Darkest Dungeon cheats. I've checked the algorithms. I know.

Oh, the critical rates, the damage, they're all "fair" and the results of RNG. But the way the enemies target, and the actions they take? Fuck no. Every enemy does its actions, starting on Veteran, to fuck the player as hard and as brutally as possible. It will stress-spike vulnerable characters, it will pound characters at death's door, and it will abuse blight and bleed to cause casualties. Given how much of Dankest Dungeon is nothing but fucking RNG bullshit - and I say that as a fan of this game - you absolutely should not feel remotely bad if you do backup saves periodically in order to reload from in order to recover from a game-ending fuck-up.
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Can you really consider this cheating? It's just the enemies attacking what are obviously the weaker and more vulnerable party members.

If anything that's good AI design, IMHO. Frustrating, but good.
 
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Varg Did Nothing Wrong said:
I had the original Rayman on PC. It is exactly what you say it is - ridiculously unforgiving with borderline unfair mechanics in many places.

That said I played the everloving fuck out of it for years and I did beat it, but only with the help of cheat codes giving me 99 lives or continues or whatever it was.



Can you really consider this cheating? It's just the enemies attacking what are obviously the weaker and more vulnerable party members.

If anything that's good AI design, IMHO. Frustrating, but good.
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To be honest, that's how I beat it too. My bro input the codes and told me to play the last level.

I died a ton of times, but I eventually got to the end.

Didn't consider it a victory though. But whatevs.

Ending was shit though. The unenthusiastic cheering is kind of like the devs telling me: "We know you probably went though hell and back with this game, and we would just like to say... Thanks for the money!"
 
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