Your Super Game Shame - you know deep down how much you suck

I never got past the opening scene of MGS as a kid. Never bothered to play a stealth game again after that.
 
Life & Death 2: The Brain.

I have never, not once, successfully carried out an operation without the patient dying on the table. If it's not bleeding out because I didn't get the Raney clips on quickly enough, it's failing to react to the pitch change in the drill when I'm through the skull and accidentally lobotomising them, or not realising that in my concentration to peel back the various layers their heart has given up.
 
Im really fucking bad at shooters and shooting games, especially team ones, but ironically RE4 was the only one I was ever any good at, so Im kinda the opposite of the OP.

I was never able to think or react fast enough for Sonic, and it never interested me, but I got the new one because all of the things about it look so polished and great (the art, the music, and both are amazing)--but I really fucking suck at it. I take forever in the levels, never know where Im going, and always end up bumping into shit and losing all my coins. Also for some reason, I dont know if it's cause Im using a wireless controller and the joystick is a little too fidgety or sensitive, but I cant do the special stages at all. My score is like 100 because I always end the level with like 1 ring.

Watch this dude play and youre basically watching me play:
Except Im not as funny either.
 
No one is perfect, as much as we might wish to be. All of us occasionally fall flat in spectacular ways. Sometimes it's more pathetic than others, but at the end of the day, accepting our flaws is the only way that we can better understand ourselves and correct them.

So how do you suck? Like really suck, in a way you can't admit to even non game players because they'll just look at you confused.

Personally, I can't play Resident Evil 4, and I honestly have no idea why. I want to, I enjoy the setting, I like Leon as a character, I want to know more, and survival horror pushes all my right buttons. But I physically can't beat the first village no matter how many times I try, and I don't fully understand why.
I've tried, literally (really literally, as in literal, as in this exact meaning) hundreds of times. The chainsaw dude has an AI that is simply better at survival than I am, and I cannot win. I can play similar games. I enjoy Dead Space. I breezed through Dead Space 2 almost not paying attention. But Resident Evil 4 specifically is something I simply can't enjoy first hand, because it just means eternal carnage when I try.

So that's one specific thing I suck at. What do you suck at? You fucked up at least once, really embarrassingly I bet. How?

The first village hits you hard and fast, but if you avoid going into the house that triggers the chainsaw guy, it's a lot easier. Just stay mobile and kill a few villagers, and eventually the remaining villagers will be summoned away in a cutscene.

Dark Souls games just make me sad. I can't git gud, I only stae bad.

Also, I am irredeemably bad at all Japanese fighting games, which disheartens me because I want so bad to be good at Darkstalkers.
 
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I have a let's play channel on YouTube...

Just kidding, that'd be way too sad.

My gaming shame is that I can't beat Starcraft. I don't understand the management aspect of it and the whole thing bores me to tears.
 
I can't complete an Undertale genocide run because of Undyne. She's too powerful.

Lol, wait for the final boss.

I suck at galciv, I'm good at civ 5 and 6, but Galciv 2 and 3 I uber succ, like lose at AI on secondition easiest difficulty succ.
 
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When I start playing Doom, on a new game I am pretty good. Once time passes a bit and I get a bit farther I start to suck then I just rely on save-scumming. I don't know why, maybe it's because I get overconfident with the gear I get.
 
Lol, wait for the final boss.

Actually I think I could handle Sans. Undyne's battle has a unique mechanic and no matter how much I try I can't seem to get any better at it. I'm also pretty bad at her fight in the normal path, but that path is much more forgiving.
 
I have a let's play channel on YouTube...

Just kidding, that'd be way too sad.

My gaming shame is that I can't beat Starcraft. I don't understand the management aspect of it and the whole thing bores me to tears.

Me too. StarCraft lost its relevance to me when Dawn of War was released.
 
I played Persona 3 totally blind, with a party of MC using a fire-skills Persona, Akihiko, Mitsuru, and Yukari. I used that party from the moment I had Mitsuru as an option, because that covered all the main elements and all the physical damage types you could do, so there would never be an enemy that resisted everything I could throw at it.
And then came the final boss.
Nyx uses Moonlit Gown. I use Agidyne. It's blocked. Party uses unhelpful status-inflicting moves because they're AI-controlled morons. I figure Moonlit Gown must be something that blocks magic. I attack Nyx physically. She reflects it. I die. Game over.
Next try. Nyx uses Moonlit Gown. I heal and buff the party while it's active; party continues using unhelpful status-inflicting moves. Moonlit Gown goes down. Everybody unleashes elemental hell on Nyx--and then she uses Moonlit Gown again after a couple of turns. Moonlit Gown is not a one-time thing. Shit. Before I can stop myself, I hit 'attack' instead of 'skill,' it gets reflected, I die again. Fuck.
Several repeats of the aforementioned cycle go on: Gown on, heal, buff, unhelpfulness, Gown off, elemental smackdown, lather, rinse, repeat. And of course Nyx isn't just standing still while Moonlit Gown is up, oh no. She's using Almighty attacks which hit the entire party, single-target elemental spells against whoever's weak against them to gain extra turns...you get the idea.
Eventually, after four tries at this motherfucking thing, I manage to whittle down Nyx's HP to a tiny sliver...and then she uses Night Queen. Night Queen charms a character. It wasn't me or Yukari--IIRC it was Mitsuru--and Fuuka spazzes out. "Oh! Quick! Use Charmdi!" I don't have any Discharms on me, so I figure Yukari, who has Charmdi, will handle this--and she doesn't. Because she's an AI-controlled moron.
Mitsuru uses Diarahan on Nyx. Nyx is healed to full. I give the fuck up.
Well, at least I was playing on Normal. And, like I said, utterly blind. I'm amazed I didn't die a few times before I got to Nyx, frankly...but yeah. I never did beat that goddamn game.
 
The times I tried to play 4 player smash bros. were disastrous, I made DSP look good, I was as bad as that dude who couldn't play Cuphead.
 
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I could never finish Dragon quest 9 because of the final boss
If you still have the game and are willing to put the time, leveling your party in the Gladiator unique skill for that final skill (Feel the Burn)that ups tension when you get hit helps a lot.
Other than that make at least one party member learn Omniheal and Gigaslash for others, then boost their tension. Or you can rely on crit-or-miss moves, both are viable.

Corvus was GG EZ for me because I spent so much time farming liquid metal slimes in the dungeon near the Bowhole because I heard the boss was ass raping-ly hard. I got every class up to at least 36 for each party member I had. Waaaayyyy overkill, no one died or even got to red, i just healed everything away with Uber miracle sword and holy(?) armor.
Party comp for me was: PC: Ranger, Cern: Armamentalist, Marble: Gladiator, & Analia: Sage.

As for my shame: In 2010-2011 I used to have DSP levels of denial about my ability in games.
 
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