The more I watch of this guy, the more I wonder why I ever found anything he said funny to begin with. I got 3 more videos that I found pathetic each in their own way and there is a lot I want to say about them so get ready for a long post. Feel free to give me puzzle pieces if you want, I don't care:
*Hogwarts Legacy is an obvious one, altho it is different than how I remember it. The JKR rant is now shorter and it is very much censored, I remember he went all out when it came out. I am guessing the uncensored release was on the Escapist website and Youtube got the short end of the stick, which just makes his little tizzy fit even more pathetic when he has to say "the c-word" when he's crying about the transphobic wizard lady. What a joke! Rest of the video is just about as unremarkable as the game, which is par for the course, what else is he going to say about possibly the most generic Ubisoft styled sandbox game ever made? You could reskin it and easily call it "The Division 3", there, where is my comedic review contract? This isn't hard to do.
*Spider Man 2 was his last review on Escapist and his last Zero Punctuation episode before he and Nick started up Second Wind and rebranded the show under Fully Ramblomatic. First of all, the comments are still disabled on that last ever ZP video, gee I wonder why! Second, he doesn't go out with a bang but on a whine. The censorship issue is even worse than in his Hogwarts review, whatever bite his video might have had was taken out, which is frankly sadder than him becoming this husk that he is now, or was back 2 years ago. Third, his humor is just as outdated as his format, at the end he makes a butthurt rant about the Marvel fanboys, and aside from his obligatory "not my niggerinos!" strawman where he says people only dislike the game because there is a black person in it, he makes a cheetoh dust joke when talking about the comic fan nerds who have a problem with the game's story. Well, "joke" is a strong word, his crying maybe, point is that this would have been relevant about 15-20 years ago, if he wanted to make a more relevant joke it would have to be about that same nerd fandom all trooning out or making it "hospitable" for the LGBT community and then make a MJ chin joke to accompany it. Of course, he is an "ally" so he can't do that, but the truth is that the stereotypical cheetoh dust nerd who would fight you over minutia of his favorite capeshit comic or whatever to the last breath is a dying breed, as it has been pointed out many times HRT hit the nerd population stronger than crack hit the ghettos. This right here ends his ZP career, the same old jokes he's been making for well over a decade at that point, the absolute lowest hanging fruit and ones that make less sense than ever. Oh and of course the same tired old pearl clutching about inclusivity, from the same guy who literally used to make blackface jokes in his videos. Nothing has changed since, just that his friend from the office is now both his gimp and his sugardaddy now that he works at SW. Fitting fate, I say!
*That last one is I think the cringiest, and that would be his Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 review. Of course he wouldn't be positive about the game, being a contrarian and all, but I should point out that BO2 is usually seen as the best game in the franchise even by non-COD fans, if not then at the very least in the top 5, not to mention being one of the biggest shooters of the 7th gen consoles. What I am saying is that this game used to be a big deal and people like it for a reason. So, what is Yahtzee going to rant about, then? Well, for the first 3 fucking minutes of this 5 minute and 40 second review he just cries about how white, right wingers are bad and evil and crazy and pretty much just sounding like your typical BlueSky or ResetEra user for more than half of the review, while barely talking about the game while glazing the villain because he is a poor brown(never mind his actual story arc in the game, which I doubt he even finished). This was in 2012 btw, yet this is just him politisperging without a single bit of humor or self awareness here, this is even more scathing than his tired, boring Hogwarts review 10 years later. Anyways, for all of 1 minute and 10 seconds afterwords he actually talks about the game, but at around 4 minute and 10 second mark for the rest of the video(further minute and a half) he starts whining again about muh white privilege, muh poor, underrepresented niggerinos, boo hoo so what if our protagonist is a terrorist, he is BROWN! and all that. He keeps calling everyone who plays these games a paranoid, crazy right winger but I should add that vast majority of the COD fanbase were and still are little kids and casual gamers, very few "right wing paranoid gun owners" play these games as they would rather play actual mil sims. Not that Yahtzee even knows what these are, most of his reviews are mainstream releases or some indie-artsy shit nobody cares about. Another case of his jokes not even making sense as he reaches for the lowest hanging fruit possible and tries to have his nicely crafted strawman hold it for him. This is humor equivalent of kryptonite, I would be deeply ashamed if I made something like this and put it under my name.
So, why did I make this post? Because last time, I said that bad or confusing jokes leave a bad taste in your mouth, this is the worst thing you can ever do as a comedian. Well, the first two of the three videos I talked about at least try to be informative and funny despite some sperging, the BO2 video was just him going on a political rant for nearly 6 minutes with almost zero humor or him being critical of the game. These kinds of "reviews" are partly responsible for why Gamergate happened, nobody wants to be lectured by some far-left fart huffer when they just want to know if the bing bing wahoo is any good and if it's worth the money. When Second Wind finally kicks the bucket, this video, I am struggling to call it a "review", will be exactly what I think of, since he has not changed in the slightest since. Funny, because his last COD review as of writing this(Black Ops 6) was actually pretty accurate, so why he had a stick up his ass for this one is beyond me. One thing that is clear is that he is 100% genuine about everything he said and it wasn't done for the humor, cause there is none. That same kind of venom that landed Godhand a 3/10 on IGN among many more examples is found here, just pure grade A game journo seething captured on film, no different than any other lolcow spergout.
I don't think any of this is a revelation to anyone that has been following this guy for years, but boy have I forgotten just how pathetic he really is when you get right down to it. Even more pathetic is the Escapist, since this guy was their golden goose. Site more or less shriveled up and died right after he left, so if someone who can do the equivalent of writing a really angry social media comment and adding an animation to it is their top dog, where does that put the other people who done content for The Escapist then? Ironic, since their last non-gambling video is a 6 minute about COD Black Ops too.
Anyways, I don't think there is a deep point here, Yahtzee is a hack that can't review games for shit, is out of shape and I would not have sex with him. Surprised anyone would, really, but he should be glad that there is crazy, rich fangirls out there that will because he really doesn't have any useful skills whatsoever to make a living. As I already established, working for the Escapist isn't really a "skill", or wasn't a skill since I doubt they are going to last much longer. All I will say is that like many lolcows, he made a hell of his own creation thanks to his laziness and now that I see just how horrific his videos actually are post-mortem, I hope he does them for years to come. I want Fully Ramblomatic or Zero Punctuation styled videos 20 years from now, just like James Rolfe is forced to do increasingly more cringe and awful AVGN videos even as he is literally balding. This is a fitting punishment for clogging up Youtube with his shitty pseudo-reviews.
