# DSP introduces everyone to his new girlfriend



## Null (Mar 12, 2018)

[video]DarksydePhil/Special_Vlog_-_Meet_Kat_Our_Plans_Moving_Forward_An_Explanation-EIyg0vykY94.webm[/video]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIyg0vykY94








Spoiler: lets get this out of the way


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## Ichimaru Gin (Mar 12, 2018)

One month living with him and she looks ready to jump off the nearest window. 

Great job, Phil.


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## A Useless Fish (Mar 12, 2018)

Holy shit, this looks uncomfortable. Is this being staged managed to make it look like Phil's stolen a mentally handicapped person from the nearest nuthouse?


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## c-no (Mar 12, 2018)

It's like she just realized she made a very shameful choice on her part and is now regretting every moment of it.


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## Hatoful Dandy (Mar 12, 2018)

I've seen hostages held at gunpoint with more enthusiasm than that...


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Mar 12, 2018)

Can her face in the second panel be an emote in the same vein as ?


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## SwanDive (Mar 12, 2018)

Oh, so this is what love looks like. Good to know.


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## Vault Boy (Mar 12, 2018)

Goddamn, she looks so out of place that she looks like she was photoshopped into some pictures of Phil acting like an exceptional individual.


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## The Colonel (Mar 12, 2018)

You can see the absolute despair in her eyes.


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## The Fool (Mar 12, 2018)

I can't even tell if she's uncomfortable or not, I'm not sure if she can even move her face.


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## Hatoful Dandy (Mar 12, 2018)

Vault Boy said:


> Goddamn, she looks so out of place that she looks like she was photoshopped into some pictures of Phil acting like an exceptional individual.


If there wasn't a video, I'd have thought someone photoshopped Amy Adams or Jessica Chastain into those screencaps.

...is that video altered via Fakeapp?


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## Chan the Wizard (Mar 12, 2018)

Tfw you’re a plan-looking gold digger and you found out that YouTube celebrity is anything but loaded.


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## HappyScottGamer (Mar 12, 2018)

I never thought I would be legit worried about any of his girlfriends, but she generally looks unhappy.


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## popoto-chan (Mar 12, 2018)

I can't believe Phil managed to hide his degeneracy long enough to bag a normie. She clearly had no idea what she was getting herself into.


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

btw this is what she looks like when by herself:


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## LofaSofa (Mar 12, 2018)

All of her smiles look so painfully forced.



Spoiler


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## Owlflaps (Mar 12, 2018)

Run lady! There are deeper veins of gold to dig than Phil's.


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## BeanieGuy (Mar 12, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> btw this is what she looks like when by herself


She still looks a little bit less uncomfortable than with Phil. I hope, for her sake, that she's just tired in this last video, otherwise rip maid


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## popoto-chan (Mar 12, 2018)

Owlflaps said:


> Run lady! There are deeper veins of gold to dig than Phil's.



It's less of a gold vein, more of a pyrite one


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## MG 620 (Mar 12, 2018)

SwanDive said:


> Oh, so this is what love looks like. Good to know.
> 
> View attachment 400930



That deep contempt!

Is this for real?!


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## Van Darkholme (Mar 12, 2018)

Stage 1: Regret.


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## Christopher Alyre Fleming (Mar 12, 2018)

Can someone please explain the "may or may not be blackmailed into submission" thing to me?


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## BoingBoingBoi (Mar 12, 2018)

she's too good for him and the torrent of shit he leaves in his wake. hopefully, for her sake, that's the last we see of her for quite some time.


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## El Porko Fako (Mar 12, 2018)

That's the kind of face a 15 year old girl makes when her dad just told the boy she has a crush on about her first period and how she has man farts. The absolute disgust and disdain in her face in those pictures is a work of fucking art. Jesus.


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## Null (Mar 12, 2018)

Christopher Alyre Fleming said:


> Can someone please explain the "may or may not be blackmailed into submission" thing to me?


it is a human sociological interaction known as humor


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## Red Dragon (Mar 12, 2018)

5 minutes and a cup of wine later, I present you this masterpiece:




 

I'll see myself out.


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## The Dude (Mar 12, 2018)

Shit, man, she looks fucking PISSED. I mean, she's staring daggers at Phil, like she's planning on a sure-fire way to kill him or knock him unconscious so she can escape. Do we need to start checking missing persons reports to see if this poor girl's family is looking for her?


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## Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. (Mar 12, 2018)

I don't give a single rancid shit about DSP. 
I don't care about his thread, I don't care about his drama, I don't care about his subforum, and I make fun of people who do. 
But even I have to admit:
That is one unsatisfied bitch. 

From what I hear, he's a bit lacking in the pound town potential, and that's unfortunate, and it's not like he asked for that, but still, that is one unsatisfied woman, and I'm at a loss as to why he'd upload anything where she was so clearly unhappy with her choices.


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## El Porko Fako (Mar 12, 2018)

BoingBoingBoi said:


> she's too good for him and the torrent of shit he leaves in his wake. hopefully, for her sake, that's the last we see of her for quite some time.



Unfortunately, it probably won't be. Phil wouldn't want to lie and disappoint his fans after promising them she's going to be in the new DSP Tries It videos.

I hope it gets to the point where she is so fed up with doing fast food videos that she starts sounding like a bitchy house wife and tears him down completely with passive-aggressive comments about his weight and health. That's the kind of really awkward, dark humor that would actually get me to tune into these videos.


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## Pikimon (Mar 12, 2018)

Cute couple


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## Ghostse (Mar 12, 2018)

Hatoful Dandy said:


> I've seen hostages held at gunpoint with more enthusiasm than that...



Don't kink shame.


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## Dirt McGirt (Mar 12, 2018)

Doesn't Phil know it's not good to frighten horses like that?


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## millais (Mar 12, 2018)

She's blinking "HELP ME" in Morse code on repeat throughout the video.


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## BlueArmedDevil (Mar 12, 2018)

Maybe he's going to make her some spaghetti and meatballs afterwards


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## Jack Awful (Mar 12, 2018)

Time to gear up, boys.
Looks like we got a hostage to rescue.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Mar 12, 2018)

I've seen less awkward couch interviews on efukt.


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## Covfefe (Mar 12, 2018)

If this doesn't prove that Phil is legitimately, medically socially/emotionally reeetarded I don't know what will.


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## Jack Awful (Mar 12, 2018)

Related


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## Lesbian Sleepover (Mar 12, 2018)

She seems like someone who was convinced she was dating PewDiePies contemporary

He sounds like Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley .


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## MY 405 (Mar 12, 2018)

I’m with @The Dude on this one.  This looks horrifyingly like “last known photos”.  She looks like she’s been kidnapped.


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## A Witty Name (Mar 12, 2018)

When she was initially doxxed in record time, I gave her about 2 years.

Now I give her less than 6 months.


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## Deven (Mar 12, 2018)

He looks like a Ricky Gervais character.


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## AnOminous (Mar 12, 2018)

She sure looks thrilled to be introduced to Goutlord's audience.

When does she kill herself?  Or Kill Phil?


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## NiggoPls (Mar 12, 2018)

Fuck I didn't even watch the video and I feel embarrassed for her just from looking at the pictures.


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## Cherie Bomb (Mar 12, 2018)

Watching Kat in this video, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to the song "Hazy Shade of Winter".



> Time, time, time
> See what's become of me...
> 
> Time, time, time
> ...



It's evident that Kat left a very bad living situation in order to see moving in with Phil as an upgrade. Whatever abuse she endured in her previous relationship must have destroyed her self esteem. She's self aware enough to know she's too thin skinned for social media. She was clearly bothered by the horse memes, even though very beautiful women like Liv Tyler have a similar shaped face. And when it comes to the eyebrows, plenty of girls with light colored hair struggle to make their brows stand out. You can see Kat's roots: she has a very pretty shade of blonde. She just needs some help with her makeup.

It hurts my heart to see Kat so physically uncomfortable around Phil. She clearly finds him disgusting. I really think she's settled because she doesn't believe she could do better. When women get to be around 30, they start to feel their value in society decline. Aging becomes apparent, and the dating pool shrinks as they get less stares from men than in their early 20s. Some women experience the biological clock ticking or feel pressured because their friends have all coupled up. 

Both men and women begin to think about who will be there when they are old. If they've gone through a divorce or end of a long term relationship, they start to feel like failures. They're ashamed to ask their friends or family for help in getting a temporary place to live, so they jump into another relationship. That's why you see plenty of people who've been married upwards of three, four, even more than five times.

Years of therapy can only point out that all these issues stem from lack of self esteem. I hope that Kat can develop enough of a life away from Phil to learn to love and appreciate herself. It's never too late.


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## Donbasstard (Mar 12, 2018)

millais said:


> She's blinking "HELP ME" in Morse code on repeat throughout the video.



Looks like DSP is going to get legitimately  SWATed.


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## AnOminous (Mar 12, 2018)

Donbasstard said:


> Looks like DSP is going to get legitimately  SWATed.



I hope she murders him.


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## Near (Mar 12, 2018)

I don't wanna watch the video of him showing off his latest trophy, and flailing his arms around her while talking about low views. Guy said he'd respect her privacy so his stalkers wouldn't destroy her life. Can't really help himself now, can he.


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## Right To Bear Blarms (Mar 12, 2018)

How can someone who's also a streamer want to have anything to do with Phil and/or not know about his reputation?


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## Doctor Stan (Mar 12, 2018)

RightToBearBlarms said:


> How can someone who's also a streamer want to have anything to do with Phil and/or not know about his reputation?


She might be lonely and desperate for some kind of relationship honestly. Philly B is availible, and he is desperate as well. I give her 6 months before she leaves.



millais said:


> She's blinking "HELP ME" in Morse code on repeat throughout the video.


Just out of frame she's chained to the radiator.


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## The Colonel (Mar 12, 2018)

Kat, just run the fuck away now. There are other options besides DSP. It is not too late.


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## Spicy Hog (Mar 12, 2018)

Maybe her face is just weird, I mean she does look absolutely terrified but maybe she just has odd facial expressions. They're probably both really lonely and are only dating each other for the sake of having somebody around but I really can't understand why she chose Phil of all people.


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## nigga tf is this (Mar 12, 2018)

She is thinking about her life choices and how she got to this point in her life.


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

For everyone who wants to give true & authentic life advice to Kat there's a thread just for that purpose:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/true-authentic-life-advice-for-kat.39673/


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Mar 12, 2018)

The Fool said:


> I can't even tell if she's uncomfortable or not, I'm not sure if she can even move her face.


That's the power of the DSP "charm" (if you can call it that).


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

Cherie Bomb said:


> Watching Kat in this video, I couldn't help but think of the lyrics to the song "Hazy Shade of Winter".
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Agreed, but I don't think its really disgust at being with Phil but rather lacking confidence in some areas. Having to be on a video with your girlfriend/boyfriend like this doesn't come naturally to some people.

She comes across to me in this video as quite similar as her Twitch videos but those didn't include interaction with other people, so its possible how she acts around other people is quite different to when she is by herself.


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## Curt Sibling (Mar 12, 2018)

She looks like some Russian chick who DSP imported and then hid her passport.


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## MG 620 (Mar 12, 2018)

Curt Sibling said:


> She looks like some Russian chick who DSP imported and then hid her passport.



Every month, another foreign letter to мама in Siberia. Each letter telling that "Прости! I can't send any money, not enough donations".


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## Apteryx Owenii (Mar 12, 2018)

I only pop my head in to the DSP zoo when something gets featured, so I don't know that much about the guy. Still, I know he's called the "king of hate" and has constant stupid drama swirling around him and his 'career(?)'

So I just don't understand why the hell he would make a video basically introducing all the people that hate him to this person he should theoretically like. What the hell is the purpose here? I promise I watched a total of about 40 seconds skipping around but it was just too cringy to get through.


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## PoopMagnet (Mar 12, 2018)

As usual Phil is easily manipulated by antagonizing. People just keep asking, "Where's Kat" and he caves in on his promise to protect his pride.

He got played.


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## Autistsforuganda (Mar 12, 2018)

I don't try to A-Log, but she really has that look that says "Maybe ending myself is for the best." I feel like she has nowhere else to go.


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## Elwood P. Dowd (Mar 12, 2018)

Dammit, DSP. I'm still trying to figure out if you  finished your tax return yet and you go and do this. I don't know if my heart can handle the excitement of your streams any more.


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

PoopMagnet said:


> As usual Phil is easily manipulated by antagonizing. People just keep asking, "Where's Kat" and he caves in on his promise to protect his pride.
> 
> He got played.



ElPresador called him a puppet which is spot on:
https://my.mixtape.moe/wyefrf.mp4

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/elpresador-vs-dsp.40201/


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## UglyOldJafar (Mar 12, 2018)

This rmeinds me of these dumb posts people made of Obama and his wife compared to Trump and Melania and how they express affection.

Only DSP really hits all the goals even harder.


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

https://twitter.com/TheyCallMeDSP/status/973101316124819456
http://archive.fo/3WJHZ




https://twitter.com/TheyCallMeDSP/status/973099951407300608
http://archive.fo/yuD6s




https://twitter.com/theycallmedsp/status/973070949619609600?s=21
http://archive.fo/d4CKz


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

Professional body language analysis right here guys:


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## AlephOne2Many (Mar 12, 2018)

The last time I saw that look some sped in my tenth grade class smashed a table into collapsing with his chair and had to get pacified by building security. Proceeded to never making an appearance again since that day.

What on God's green earth was Phil thinking would happen after she gave him that stink eye? Might as well enjoy bullshitting through your teeth while you're swimming in deep shit, this is fun.


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## Kosher Dill (Mar 12, 2018)

Ah, romance!


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## Florence (Mar 12, 2018)

Darkness! Imprisoning me! All that I see! Absolute horror!


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## Tonberry (Mar 12, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> View attachment 401023



"Well of course she's going to be uncomfortable. She was a total nobody before we started dating, and she knows that just being around me makes her an internet superstar. Just give her time to get used to the fame."

This is what Phil actually believes


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## Done (Mar 12, 2018)

Blue Jerkop said:


> I only pop my head in to the DSP zoo when something gets featured, so I don't know that much about the guy. Still, I know he's called the "king of hate" and has constant stupid drama swirling around him and his 'career(?)'
> 
> So I just don't understand why the hell he would make a video basically introducing all the people that hate him to this person he should theoretically like. What the hell is the purpose here? I promise I watched a total of about 40 seconds skipping around but it was just too cringy to get through.


Desperation, his daily money has been tanking hard since he lost a couple of big whales recently, now he is trying everything he can to get it back up again.

I think he made a huge mistake letting her on stream, like you said, he just showed her to his haters, and given what happened to Leanna (his previous girlfriend), that can't be good at all.


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## ZeCommissar (Mar 12, 2018)

If you think this id bad just imagine her face when DSP tries to go to poundtown on her.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Mar 12, 2018)

Yeah, reading the thread back everything that can be said about her looking like a fucking hostage has been said so I can't really further this thread in that way. That horrified grimace she wears is the face of an engineer as he watches helplessly as another train barrels straight towards his own.


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## thismanlies (Mar 12, 2018)

It's like she did her research on Panda Lee five minutes before he recorded that video.


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## Overcast (Mar 12, 2018)

Seeing Phil rant about the haters and people who want to hurt him while sitting next to a very clearly uncomfortable and scared looking girl is probably one of the creepiest things I've seen in a while.

"We don't need to tell everyone every single thing about what we're doing all the time, because then they'd use that against us right?"

"Y-yeah"

I really hope this isn't the start of some gruesome news story. She needs to get the hell out of there.


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## YourUnclesDad (Mar 12, 2018)

It's going to be hard to pack up and run away when he's home all the time. She should probably pull a 'Dad went to get cigarettes'  trick.


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## Petronella (Mar 12, 2018)

He talks to her like she's a kid. Lots of "right?" questions and asking if she's been having fun so far.


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## Radical Goodspeed (Mar 12, 2018)

YourUnclesDad said:


> It's going to be hard to pack up and run away when he's home all the time. She should probably pull a 'Dad went to get cigarettes'  trick.



There's no way. The last girl got away the minute he let her get a job. If she wants to smoke, someone will donate a carton.


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## Gaol (Mar 12, 2018)

So are we upset because DSP got a new g/f or are we upset because even how unsuccessful he is, he still gets to put the mushroom in the princess?


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## Near (Mar 12, 2018)

Now imagine if Kat, by some stroke of luck, got popular on twitch. And we're talking much more popular than Phil. Can you imagine the jealousy that would manifest in that house? Especially if his reaction to fans liking Rambo more in project 7, and him just losing his shit on camera because of it is anything to go by?

"MUH 8 YEAR LEGACY! You're only popular because of ME! REEE!"


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## Asperchewy (Mar 12, 2018)

Doctor Stan said:


> Just out of frame she's chained to the vacuum cleaner.


FTFY


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## Fareal (Mar 12, 2018)

My gran has a saying about relationships, "There's worse things than being on your own".

Sometimes you come across shit like this and the truth of that saying really hits you, you know?


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## Preferred Penne (Mar 12, 2018)

Autistsforuganda said:


> I don't try to A-Log, but she really has that look that says "Maybe ending myself is for the best." I feel like she has nowhere else to go.


You know if she did, Phil would try to monetize it.


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## Yoda (Mar 12, 2018)

To be fair, I'd be nervous and worried if I appeared in a video with someone who has a reputation like DSP, knowing I'm about to get a ton of shit just for being seen with the guy.
Conversely, Phil could have just kept his mouth shut about having a girlfriend an people wouldn't be talking about her.


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## BallBuster (Mar 12, 2018)

Living with DSP: The Ultimate Form in Birth Control.


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## AnOminous (Mar 12, 2018)

I hope this chick escapes the vile life of slavery that being involved with goutlord is.


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## AlephOne2Many (Mar 12, 2018)

Fareal said:


> My gran has a saying about relationships, "There's worse things than being on your own".
> 
> Sometimes you come across shit like this and the truth of that saying really hits you, you know?



There'd be less nice guys/nice girls in the world if more people took that wisdom to heart.

Hopefully at no point was Kat ever a "nice girl"...


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## NotreallyPutin (Mar 12, 2018)

She legit looks cringed out by him.


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## :thinking: (Mar 12, 2018)

Hatoful Dandy said:


> I've seen hostages held at gunpoint with more enthusiasm than that...


"Resting hostage face" is the new "resting bitch face."


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)




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## BrunoMattei (Mar 12, 2018)

Tag me Late but I'll say it, she looks absolutely fucking miserable in those screenshots. There is not even an attempt at a smile. Holy god, I would honestly be surprised if they last another month or two.

I think when she gets a job she will squirrel away as much as possible to GTFO ASAP.


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## Xenomorph (Mar 12, 2018)

God damn she is repulsed by him. Look at her, you can feel how disgusted she is with him.
We have seen those looks before but with Leanna it took a little longer.


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## Pubic Enemy #1 (Mar 12, 2018)

Whenever she has to say anything that isn't a simple yes/no Phil puts his arm round her and stares directly at her. She clearly didn't want to do this at all and was somehow cajoled into it by Phil, and he's making sure she keeps to the party line.

There's being uncomfortable and then there's this holy shit. I half expected the video to end with a ransom.


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## TiggerNits (Mar 12, 2018)

So did this Ukranian immigrant just realize she'd rather go fight the Russians mid stream?


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## Zarkov (Mar 12, 2018)

Tbh that’s exactly the face I’d expect from a person who has to put up with DSP every day.


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## Very Honest Content (Mar 12, 2018)

She's cute.  She's a little too pretty for a butt nugget like Phil Burnell probably, but she's also most likely already looking to move up, so get yours little lady and get out while you still can.

ETA: My verdict after watching this, she's _a yuge_ improvement over who she replaced in terms of presence, Phil should probably talk less and let her carry more of the banter if she can relax with repetitions at these...


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## Jmboote (Mar 12, 2018)

Jesus. How exceptional is Phil, for him to not realise how bad of an idea this was? Getting so shook by people for asking "Where's Kat?", that he makes a video introducing her just to shut people up. 

And that's ignoring how fucking uncomfortable she looks. Being nervous on camera is one thing, but she has actual streams/videos out there. But nah, it's because she's worried about appearing in front of about 400 fans, right? And if he wants to make the argument about how the number of people that will watch the video are higher because muh obsessive detractors, then why even make it? 

What a trainwreck.


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## Tim Buckley (Mar 12, 2018)

All Kiwis are just jealous that even DSP can get a romantic partner and they can't


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## PieceofShet (Mar 12, 2018)

Tim Buckley said:


> All Kiwis are just jealous that even DSP can get a romantic partner and they can't


I wish i had a girl who would look at me like Dog looks at dsp


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## MG 620 (Mar 12, 2018)

"American Goutic"


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## FrankPentangeli (Mar 12, 2018)

Looks like nothing more than nervousness.  You can tell by the constant mouth movements, licking of lips etc.  Probably has a bit of social anxiety.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Mar 12, 2018)

Gaol said:


> So are we upset because DSP got a new g/f or are we upset because even how unsuccessful he is, he still gets to put the mushroom in the princess?


If you're upset you're the only one who is. The rest of us are just giddy with excitement to see how hard this crashes and how bright it burns. All I see in that video is a selfish, arrogant, insecure douchebag trying to prove to meaningless internet people that he's just awesome because like, he has a real girlfriend guys and like, she has boobs guys, and she lets me touch them and stuff sometimes when I give her money! Alongside him is a girl who just upped and swung her little gold diggers pick axe into what she thought was an easy target and who is now realizing that the price she has to pay for access to DSPs wallet is that her entire life both public and private will forever be plastered across the internet for all the world to see. When he says they've been planning the video for a while you can just tell it was a one sided conversation about how Phil _needed_ to make it public because of his fans or something. At that moment she's realizing that she no longer has secrets, no longer has a private life. Every development, every detail will be screamed to the masses by the very person that she should be relying on to keep them secret. Shes the ultimate definition of a trophy, she isn't valued for her beauty and from that video appears to lack any kind of personality. She's a tick in a box that simply reads 'Girlfriend, nobody can say I'm gay or a virgin: CHECK!' Don't feel sorry for her, she is the architect of her own misery.


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## :thinking: (Mar 12, 2018)

FrankPentangeli said:


> Looks like nothing more than nervousness.  You can tell by the constant mouth movements, licking of lips etc.  Probably has a bit of social anxiety.


I just don't understand why he showed a newspaper with today's date at the end of the video. 
And that whole "unmarked bills, remember?" quote was very left-field.


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## BrunoMattei (Mar 12, 2018)

ZeCommissar said:


> If you think this id bad just imagine her face when DSP tries to go to poundtown on her.



I don't think they've had sex yet. Just call it a hunch. Maybe she gave him a handy (with a glove on) and that's as far as they've got.


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## gobbogobb (Mar 12, 2018)

:thinking: said:


> I just don't understand why he showed a newspaper with today's date at the end of the video.
> And that whole "unmarked bills, remember?" quote was very left-field.


I think that was a somewhat subtle dig at us for joking about hostage videos. I’m an optimist though.


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## Asperchewy (Mar 12, 2018)

BrunoMattei said:


> I don't think they've had sex yet. Just call it a hunch. Maybe she gave him a handy (with a glove on) and that's as far as they've got.


I bet Phil will get laid around Halloween time. But he'll have to dress up as a dish. I hear Kat loves doing dishes.


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## Wurstbrot (Mar 12, 2018)

FrankPentangeli said:


> Looks like nothing more than nervousness. You can tell by the constant mouth movements, licking of lips etc. Probably has a bit of social anxiety.



Yeah. And don't even let us start about Kat.

But to be more serious: This feels like a psychologist should give her a doll and she points at the part where he touched her.






I feel sad for her. Damn.

Btw, does anyone think people will throw more money at Phil because of this poor girl?


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## NiggoPls (Mar 12, 2018)

BrunoMattei said:


> I don't think they've had sex yet. Just call it a hunch. Maybe she gave him a handy (with a glove on) and that's as far as they've got.



Considering how thin-skinned he is, if people keep making jokes about their sex life, we'll soon see Phil uploading porn just to prove that they're having sex.


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## Mr._Blonde (Mar 12, 2018)

Did I say 6 months? Shit, I give this "relationship" about 4 months to the max.  Also I wonder if Phil's viewers notice Kat's expression. That's not the one of a loving couple. But more like "What the fuck did I do last night?" after a booze-filled one night stand sort of deal.


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## Hatoful Dandy (Mar 12, 2018)

NiggoPls said:


> Considering how thin-skinned he is, if people keep making jokes about their sex life, we'll soon see Phil uploading porn just to prove that they're having sex.


ShecameforDSP. avi


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## NotreallyPutin (Mar 12, 2018)

Does it feel like DSP is trying to actually replace Leanna with Kat, literally? He did the GF reveal on the same day as the Leanna reveal and this video is damn near identical to when he did the couch video with Leanna.


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## Scotsman (Mar 12, 2018)

She looks like she wants to cave his head in... true love right there.


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## Hatoful Dandy (Mar 12, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> Professional body language analysis right here guys:


Holy shit...now I've seen everything...

A race lifted Dumb Donald


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## jace821 (Mar 12, 2018)

It's a good camera angle you can't see the gun trained to her head.


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## Shokew (Mar 12, 2018)

She needs to get the fuck outta there, ASAP. Working relationship, my ass. She looks ready to really fuck someone up. Someone like Dear Shitsmoker Phil who's right next to her...


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## DiabeticSP (Mar 12, 2018)

30 Days With Phil took her from:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfHWp4mANh-/?hl=en

To 






Whatever faint spark of romance Phil kindled in the 3 weekends she visited him over a year (only one confirmed?) has clearly blown out.

It also seems like Phil's gone from constantly shouting about 'my girl' 'the girlfriend' 'soul mate' 'baby' to 'Kat'.

I'm guessing he didn't handle her telling him she wasn't thrilled about being in his videos well.

I wonder if they're watching movies on separate couches yet like him and Leanna did.


----------



## Cosmos (Mar 12, 2018)

She looks like she’s in an ISIS hostage video.

Anyway, can someone give me some background info on Kat? A few people have mentioned that she was abused in the past but they didn’t explain further.


----------



## Lucricitous (Mar 12, 2018)

You can click on any time in the video and she looks like she's about to burst into tears. This is both funny and uncanny to watch.


----------



## Beth (Mar 12, 2018)

Holy shit poor Kat looks miserable. Just how toxic Gouty is?!

#FreeKat


----------



## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

Cosmos said:


> Anyway, can someone give me some background info on Kat? A few people have mentioned that she was abused in the past but they didn’t explain further.



Firstly, keep in mind that DSP is the largest known autism magnet on planet earth. If its not 29" cardboard dicks in the mail, autistic illuminati groups, norwegian weed-smoking narut0-cosplaying butlers, decade long catfishing empires or double chair sponsorships falling apart in the space of a week then its always something even more autistic and more impossible to believe.

TLDR its all Classy Dorris' fault:



neger psykolog said:


> Some sort of family case/lawsuit thing involving a mother (not Kat, she appears to have been a minor at this stage) locking her "demon possessed child in a closet over night" in 2005:
> 
> https://milawyersweekly.com/fulltext-opinions/2005/04/07/in-re-st-jeansnow/
> 
> http://archive.fo/ClMX6





neger psykolog said:


> https://law.justia.com/cases/michig...shed/2005/20051208-c256444-38-256444-opn.html
> 
> Where the fuck is Classy Doris at.
> 
> (If you can't tell from the case, this appears to be about her younger sister and not specifically her)





neger psykolog said:


> Ok. I've relooked at the "demon child" story and I'm fairly confident that "Kat" is the "Catherine St Jean" based upon her relationships in records and the relationships she has on her online accounts. That's usually enough proof however this is a "demon child" incident, so the evidence requirements are based on how bizarre that story is.
> 
> What I don't have right now is a picture of her near a demon child or some "irrefutable evidence" that would prove a relationship with the demon child or a relative (such as a photo on Facebook). Usually I'd be happy being able to correlate that she is friends with people related to the incident, which via public records she is. However I haven't been able to find a social media profile of any of the people related to it that are friends with other members of the family mentioned, or parents etc. So whatever this incident was it clearly caused some sort of rift in the inter dimensional family structure.



My basis for these: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/darksydephil-theycallmedsp-phil-burnell.975/page-2451#post-3056411


----------



## I'mPushingButtons (Mar 12, 2018)

I am starting to think that the thread polls on here are having a direct effect on Phil's decision making.


----------



## :thinking: (Mar 12, 2018)

jace821 said:


> It's a good camera angle you can't see the gun trained to her head.


Or her broken legs.


----------



## soryu (Mar 12, 2018)

You see that sweat all over his chest? She's definitely been hired. He wouldn't be sweating that hard if he knew her.


----------



## Sho'nuff (Mar 12, 2018)

Are we not going to discuss her eyebrows?  I have a really strong inclination to discuss her eyebrows.


----------



## gobbogobb (Mar 12, 2018)

Maybe she’s a findom and Phil gets off to her disgust?

Trying to find a silver lining here, guys.


----------



## Girlieplier (Mar 12, 2018)

Kat apparently sees something in Phil since she is there of her own free will. She knew how he was before she moved in, so I have no sympathy for her. She's willingly sitting beside him with his immaturity, negativity, and narcissism on full display. We all know that he likes to exploit anything and anyone and will try to make money on every aspect of his life, including her. Nothing to him is private and sacred. And she knows this too since he did just that with this video. Whatever happens with and to her is of her own doing. So yeah, no sympathy.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Mar 12, 2018)

LofaSofa said:


> All of her smiles look so painfully forced.


If you looked up "cringe" in the dictionary, that could be the illustration you see.


----------



## Panpizza (Mar 12, 2018)

Girlieplier said:


> Kat apparently sees something in Phil since she is there of her own free will. She knew how he was before she moved in, so I have no sympathy for her. She's willingly sitting beside him with his immaturity, negativity, and narcissism on full display. We all know that he likes to exploit anything and anyone and will try to make money on every aspect of his life, including her. Nothing to him is private and sacred. And she knows this too since he did just that with this video. Whatever happens with and to her is of her own doing. So yeah, no sympathy.



I spoke about this once before, but, in summary: Kat is a near-30 woman with (seemingly) no life prospects who's spent the past two years trying to make it on twitch as a streamer (and failing). Her Twitter posts and vods seem to show that she's a dull-witted girl who really enjoyed run-of-the-mill, mainstream video games. It's pretty simple to understand why she was willing to travel to live with Phil - she's quite similar to him on a superficial level and had nothing going on in her life anyway. They both enjoy mindlessly playing shitty video games and watching wrasslin' in order to escape their boring ass lives. Phil just managed to get his gouty foot in the youtube gravy train early. The fact that she was unironically a DSP fan says all you need to know about her intellectual capacity.

I'm sure even if her brain is slow to pick up on the fact that something's not right with Phil, her female instincts are screaming it. Phil has clearly been buying her shit (4k tv and new PS4 pro, nice taxes bro lol) in order to keep her as happy and compliant as he possibly can in the hopes she will resign herself to living there as a soul maid long term. He knows he can't satisfy her on any other level, so he treats her like a child and buys her toys to distract her from the shitshow she's now a part of.


----------



## Shiversblood (Mar 12, 2018)

He should be arrested for kidnapping. The poor emotionally unstable girl had nowhere to live and was in danger of becoming homeless so she started dating him just to have somewhere to live. Those kind of situations should be illegal.


----------



## Windows 98 (Mar 12, 2018)

maybe we got it all wrong: those aren’t faces of embarrassment or social anxiety, she’s actively doing her best to prevent her demon from taking over live on stream...


----------



## Sexy Potoo (Mar 12, 2018)

Maybe all the times DSP has jerked it on screen has been just his mating call.


----------



## Shokew (Mar 12, 2018)

DiabeticSP said:


> 30 Days With Phil took her from:
> 
> https://www.instagram.com/p/BfHWp4mANh-/?hl=en
> 
> ...



Yeah..... Looking at that fucking Instagram image, that smile looks pretty fake / rather forced to me. If you ask me, I feel that even back then (those 30+ days ago), she doesn't look all too happy to be with Phil at all, honestly.

Just a sign this was all doomed to fail, unfortunately. Then again, I seriously don't expect this manchild to be happy the way he is and continues to act, in the grand scheme of things.


----------



## Shokew (Mar 12, 2018)

Lucricitous said:


> You can click on any time in the video and she looks like she's about to burst into tears. This is both funny and uncanny to watch.



Sadly, THAT is all I need to NOT watch this... I can't stand seeing someone in pain like that, unfortunately.


----------



## Rare Drop (Mar 12, 2018)

From all these these pictures, I think the new poll should be which happens first:

-Phil has a heart/diabetic/gout attack on stream.

-Kat has a panic attack during a stream.

I mean optimism was low on the relationship as is, but once again Phil manages to handle it even worse than expected.


----------



## Wurstbrot (Mar 12, 2018)

Shokew said:


> Yeah..... Looking at that fucking Instagram image, that smile looks pretty fake / rather forced to me



To be fair, some people have really ugly natural smiles.

Anecdote time! We met a tourist in a famous museum who was apparently alone there. But she wanted to makes photos with herself on it. So she asked us if we can make a photo. She was not a beauty before but then she but on that really ugly fake smile that says: Look! Look! I have so much fun!!! - And it wasn't very surprising that her "not so nice face" can create such a "smile". I thought this was some hidden camera thing. And after the photo she looked "normal" again. This was disturbing, but I digress.

Kat has some strange smile even when she smiles even a little bit but shes pretty much aware of that, which means its not a fake smile. We should leave this to a real specialist, a real doctor like uhm... Doctor Tran.


----------



## Lucricitous (Mar 12, 2018)

LofaSofa said:


> All of her smiles look so painfully forced.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


The resemblance is uncanny.


----------



## Frozen Fishsticks (Mar 12, 2018)

To be fair, her face rests like that because she has a touch of a underbite.

But, hey, I think it's just as likely to be shellshock since that's more amusing. Just close your eyes and think of free rent.


----------



## strandedcastaway (Mar 12, 2018)

Pubic Enemy #1 said:


> Whenever she has to say anything that isn't a simple yes/no Phil puts his arm round her and stares directly at her. She clearly didn't want to do this at all and was somehow cajoled into it by Phil, and he's making sure she keeps to the party line.
> 
> There's being uncomfortable and then there's this holy shit. I half expected the video to end with a ransom.


For what it's worth, I thought this video was so bizarre I showed it to someone who is not a Kiwi, not :autism:, and has no idea who DSP is. Her first reaction, "Is he the abusive boyfriend? She looks terrified."


----------



## Long time lurker (Mar 12, 2018)

If you check her insta photos from before she was with Phil, you'll see that her smile was always awkward.  Still, her body language reads like repulse to me.  There is something else too, she doesn't look Phil in the eyes, but her eyes also avoid the camera, as she has something to hide.

Much to my surprise Phil's body language tells me he is acknowledging her (I thought he was more self-centered).  It's a very odd dynamic.


----------



## Stock Photo James (Mar 12, 2018)

I'm getting flashbacks to that time Peter Coffin finally got a real girl himself.


----------



## VenomPlug (Mar 12, 2018)

If Ted Bundy was making victim tapes they would look exactly like this shit.


----------



## gREEEEEEEEEr (Mar 12, 2018)

It's really creepy how he talks _for_ her the whole time. She appears to have no fucking clue what's going on, and the few words that she does interject seem more like she's just relieved because he said something that she's supposed to agree with now. She's just there to awkwardly smile and nod to whatever he says. It's like the only thing that she knew in advance was that she's his totally real girlfriend, you guys.

The vibe I get from the video is like he hired some escort, she drove 30 minutes to meet him, only to find out that instead of fucking her like a normal person, he just wanted to livestream himself awkwardly bragging about her being his girlfriend in front of all his online friends haters, _and_ since there was no sexy time coming, he'd only give her half the amount that he originally agreed to. And on top of all that, she just got a text from her roommate saying that her dog got out and was hit by a car.


----------



## Bubsy (Mar 12, 2018)

Phil somehow found someone he has less chemistry with than Leanna. That is impressive.

Although the running story was that Phil's Mystery Girlfriend basically wanted no part of his online presence so her somewhat somber appearance could be attributed to that.


----------



## Lucricitous (Mar 12, 2018)

Shokew said:


> Sadly, THAT is all I need to NOT watch this... I can't stand seeing someone in pain like that, unfortunately.


You might be on the wrong website, friend.


----------



## Zawarudo (Mar 12, 2018)

I can identify a few body gestures that clearly show her unwillingness to be there. 1 - her smile is forced, her mouth sides are pointed downwards even when smiling and eyes do not wrinkle. 2 - body posture. leaning backwards/forwards signifies the desire to leave the place as soon as possible. 3 - licking lips - calming gesture, signifies discomfort. 4. - eyes  looking down as she listens to him speak - reflection on past thoughts. 5. - when she agrees with him, her head shakes showing a *no* gesture, meaning that her answer wasn't honest and inner answer is negative. 6. avoidance of eye and body contact - speaks for itself. and finally 7 ( just like project) - her lips are pointed downwards as she looks at him, signifies inner disgust.


----------



## CausticMinory (Mar 12, 2018)

If she has a panic attack, will Phil allow her to goto the hospital? That is the true test of the soulmaid.


----------



## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

Zawarudo said:


> Studying psychology I can identify a few body gestures that clearly show her unwillingness to be there. 1 - her smile is forced, her mouth sides are pointed downwards even when smiling and eyes do not wrinkle. 2 - body posture. leaning backwards/forwards signifies the desire to leave the place as soon as possible. 3 - licking lips - calming gesture, signifies discomfort. 4. - eyes  looking down as she listens to him speak - reflection on past thoughts. 5. - when she agrees with him, her head shakes showing a *no* gesture, meaning that her answer wasn't honest and inner answer is negative. 6. avoidance of eye and body contact - speaks for itself. and finally 7 ( just like project) - her lips are pointed downwards as she looks at him, signifies inner disgust.



New policy:
Anyone who is studying psychology will be able to post whatever they want, but by mentioning that they study psychology and not making a post that sufficiently impresses me they will receive 1 autism point.

This post has not impressed me so I have decided to award one autism point.


----------



## TL 532 (Mar 12, 2018)

Zawarudo said:


> Studying psychology I can identify a few body gestures that clearly show her unwillingness to be there. 1 - her smile is forced, her mouth sides are pointed downwards even when smiling and eyes do not wrinkle. 2 - body posture. leaning backwards/forwards signifies the desire to leave the place as soon as possible. 3 - licking lips - calming gesture, signifies discomfort. 4. - eyes  looking down as she listens to him speak - reflection on past thoughts. 5. - when she agrees with him, her head shakes showing a *no* gesture, meaning that her answer wasn't honest and inner answer is negative. 6. avoidance of eye and body contact - speaks for itself. and finally 7 ( just like project) - her lips are pointed downwards as she looks at him, signifies inner disgust.


Literally blind people could see she looks like a man is holding a gun to her head just off screen and forcing her to simile but thank you for using your uber psych skills to point out the obvious.


----------



## Noodles&Nuggets (Mar 12, 2018)

Zawarudo said:


> Studying psychology I can identify a few body gestures that clearly show her unwillingness to be there. 1 - her smile is forced, her mouth sides are pointed downwards even when smiling and eyes do not wrinkle. 2 - body posture. leaning backwards/forwards signifies the desire to leave the place as soon as possible. 3 - licking lips - calming gesture, signifies discomfort. 4. - eyes  looking down as she listens to him speak - reflection on past thoughts. 5. - when she agrees with him, her head shakes showing a *no* gesture, meaning that her answer wasn't honest and inner answer is negative. 6. avoidance of eye and body contact - speaks for itself. and finally 7 ( just like project) - her lips are pointed downwards as she looks at him, signifies inner disgust.


Do you really wanna do this again? The pig just brought a new whale from yet another disfunctional family. Just enjoy it.


----------



## Near (Mar 12, 2018)

Zawarudo said:


> Studying psychology I can identify a few body gestures that clearly show her unwillingness to be there. 1 - her smile is forced, her mouth sides are pointed downwards even when smiling and eyes do not wrinkle. 2 - body posture. leaning backwards/forwards signifies the desire to leave the place as soon as possible. 3 - licking lips - calming gesture, signifies discomfort. 4. - eyes  looking down as she listens to him speak - reflection on past thoughts. 5. - when she agrees with him, her head shakes showing a *no* gesture, meaning that her answer wasn't honest and inner answer is negative. 6. avoidance of eye and body contact - speaks for itself. and finally 7 ( just like project) - her lips are pointed downwards as she looks at him, signifies inner disgust.


lmfao everyone becomes a psychology major when they discuss DSP


----------



## TL 532 (Mar 12, 2018)

Moritsune said:


> lmfao everyone becomes a psychology major when they discuss DSP


Anyone who's seen a crash course in pop psych has "studied" psychology and anyone who's seen a  lolcow thinks they understand every tiny detail of the cows mind


----------



## CausticMinory (Mar 12, 2018)

We have an abundance of DarkSydePsychologist. But will Kat ever want to appear in a video again after the double shitshow Phil has put her through? Like if she does have social anxiety, the instagram pics and this recent video has just killed all her happiness. And she has to realize, it's Phil's AND her fault.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 12, 2018)

...I find her shirt visually offensive.


----------



## Leo Bonhart (Mar 12, 2018)

SwanDive said:


> Oh, so this is what love looks like. Good to know.
> 
> View attachment 400930


She kind of looks like the chick from Rogue One, but with neck support that can go 12 rounds with a Klitschko brother.


----------



## Gorgar (Mar 12, 2018)

Reminds me of this.


----------



## :thinking: (Mar 12, 2018)

An unidentified Polish woman being molested by a German SS officer, March 1944, Warsaw, Poland. (Colorized)


----------



## DatBepisTho (Mar 12, 2018)

Damn. That is some hardcore resting bitchface if this isn't a sour response to being filmed when she didn't want to be, anyway. I for one hope it keeps up so we can have a ton of potential "smilies"  here on the farms.


----------



## Sphere of Many Eyes (Mar 12, 2018)

Imagine the amount of uncomfortable silence in that house


----------



## Bryan Dunn (Mar 12, 2018)

Elemenopee said:


>



Powerlevel time: So, I sat down and watched the video over and over now. Pulled out old work notes on former clients when I worked at the hospital and by her responses and her behaviors on camera I think I can say she either suffers from ADHD, Anxiety and Anti-social behavioral problems. Its clear shes not use to people asking her for her opinion on things nor does she feel confident in her talks. Indicative to ADHD. If you want some more comparisons, take a look at a child With ADHD and a child without it and rewatch her frameset.

Most likely, she had about 20 different things on her mind and felt uncomfortable in the environment dsp put her in. Sadly, she is going to be continued pushed by his narcissistic ass and control her eventually. This is very fucked imo.


----------



## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> I think I can say she either suffers from ADHD, Anxiety and Anti-social behavioral problems



nigga if u were a fisherman then you'd be casting a net so wide that the fucking boat would sink from the weight of it

also "anti-social" refers to "actions that harm or lack consideration for the well-being of others"


----------



## Waveysauce (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> Powerlevel time: So, I sat down and watched the video over and over now. Pulled out old work notes on former clients when I worked at the hospital and by her responses and her behaviors on camera I think I can say she either suffers from ADHD, Anxiety and Anti-social behavioral problems. Its clear shes not use to people asking her for her opinion on things nor does she feel confident in her talks. Indicative to ADHD. If you want some more comparisons, take a look at a child With ADHD and a child without it and rewatch her frameset.
> 
> Most likely, she had about 20 different things on her mind and felt uncomfortable in the environment dsp put her in. Sadly, she is going to be continued pushed by his narcissistic ass and control her eventually. This is very fucked imo.



pulled out work notes from former clients from the hospital??? I am going to call some major BS there.... all those records are sealed. Unless you were the active doctor/therapist. No other minion worker would have filed of that nature. stop bsing


----------



## Apocalypso (Mar 12, 2018)

Sleeping with the Enemy
Weeping with the Enemy


----------



## Bryan Dunn (Mar 12, 2018)

Waveysauce said:


> pulled out work notes from former clients from the hospital??? I am going to call some major BS there.... all those records are sealed. Unless you were the active doctor/therapist. No other minion worker would have filed of that nature. stop bsing



I was a behavioral therapist lol. This has been known for some time. I wrote plenty of notes.

@neger psykolog I like you but she has ADHD and you are looking at the definition of anti-Social Personality Disorder which conflates Borderline Personality Disorder. She just shows signs but this is due to ADHD. ADHD covers depression, anxiety, antisocial spectrums etc. Its extremely common.

People function fine as ADHD but to me, it explains her behavior moreso on camera then the gross speculation of "DSP IS HOLDING HER HOSTAGE OMG SAVE HER!!!!1!"


----------



## gobbogobb (Mar 12, 2018)

Lotta hot takes itt: I especially like the theory Kat looked uncomfortable and may have mental health issues. Also I think she might have Lupus.  We need Dr. House on the case.


----------



## :thinking: (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> I was a behavioral therapist lol. This has been known for some time. I wrote plenty of notes.
> 
> @neger psykolog I like you but she has ADHD and you are looking at the definition of anti-Social Personality Disorder which conflates Borderline Personality Disorder. She just shows signs but this is due to ADHD. ADHD covers depression, anxiety, antisocial spectrums etc. Its extremely common.
> 
> People function fine as ADHD but to me, it explains her behavior moreso on camera then the gross speculation of "DSP IS HOLDING HER HOSTAGE OMG SAVE HER!!!!1!"


I thought you were a male nurse. Or was that some other autismgater?


----------



## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

gobbogobb said:


> Lotta hot takes itt: I especially like the theory Kat looked uncomfortable and may have mental health issues. Also I think she might have Lupus.  We need Dr. House on the case.



Dr. House and the entire psychiatric wing couldn't make heads or tails (or knuckles) of the autism magnet that is DSP.

We'd probably need Doogie Houser M.D. and Corky from Life Goes On.


----------



## Bryan Dunn (Mar 12, 2018)

:thinking: said:


> I thought you were a male nurse. Or was that some other autismgater?



Nah some troll memed it at me because of a picture of me in scrubs one day at work. Wasnt ever a big deal


----------



## Waveysauce (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> I was a behavioral therapist lol. This has been known for some time. I wrote plenty of notes.
> 
> @neger psykolog I like you but she has ADHD and you are looking at the definition of anti-Social Personality Disorder which conflates Borderline Personality Disorder. She just shows signs but this is due to ADHD. ADHD covers depression, anxiety, antisocial spectrums etc. Its extremely common.
> 
> People function fine as ADHD but to me, it explains her behavior moreso on camera then the gross speculation of "DSP IS HOLDING HER HOSTAGE OMG SAVE HER!!!!1!"



lmao BS again.....where did you get your degree or how many years of college did you attend? I think you are upping the actual status of what you did there. You are acting like you were the hospital physc/doc that would see patients and take notes and dish out meds

that said you may be semi right on what she has.....im leaning more toward social anxiety tho


----------



## waffle (Mar 12, 2018)

She looks like a tranny with a serious case of man jaw, and her face is too small for her head.

I can't decide weather she looks more like she fucking hates DSP or is absolutely in fear of him.


----------



## Prince_of_Rewards (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> Powerlevel time: So, I sat down and watched the video over and over now. Pulled out old work notes on former clients when I worked at the hospital and by her responses and her behaviors on camera I think I can say she either suffers from ADHD, Anxiety and Anti-social behavioral problems. Its clear shes not use to people asking her for her opinion on things nor does she feel confident in her talks. Indicative to ADHD. If you want some more comparisons, take a look at a child With ADHD and a child without it and rewatch her frameset.
> 
> Most likely, she had about 20 different things on her mind and felt uncomfortable in the environment dsp put her in. Sadly, she is going to be continued pushed by his narcissistic ass and control her eventually. This is very fucked imo.


Interesting take. I haven't looked at the original video, just cut-ups and edits, but from what i've read "...almost 20 percent of the U.S. population appears as dots along the mental illness check scale." From what I can tell she's quiet, doesn't look to compete with Phil in talking(talking over him),  but instead allowed Phil to lead. Hell, he probably told her "..let me talk..and I'll under hand some softball questions your way. The people want to see you. I want to keep my house."


----------



## Cvitanich (Mar 12, 2018)

I'm disappointed he didn't put a disclaimer telling us  Kat isn't Asian.


----------



## Shokew (Mar 12, 2018)

Lucricitous said:


> You might be on the wrong website, friend.



No - you guys have just done a good job showing me all I need to see - and what I see is that Kat needs to get the fuck outta there - sooner, rather than later. I don't need no vid to tell me that - I see it on her face perfectly.


----------



## LazarusOwenhart (Mar 12, 2018)

gobbogobb said:


> I think that was a somewhat subtle dig at us for joking about hostage videos. I’m an optimist though.


If it was a dig at us for joking about 'hostage videos' then it would have been much better delivered outside of something that looks like a fucking hostage video.


----------



## GX76941PD (Mar 12, 2018)

Just seeing those images, I have a feeling this will be a fun year for DSP content.


----------



## Pablo Birmingham (Mar 12, 2018)

This sorry sack of shit couldn't be bothered to find a more flattering thumbnail of the Soulmaid™?


----------



## Super Collie (Mar 12, 2018)

She smiles like a face texture from Goldeneye 007.


----------



## LazarusOwenhart (Mar 12, 2018)

TFW DSP is holding a member of the British Royal Family hostage:


----------



## Wurstbrot (Mar 12, 2018)

Pablo Birmingham said:


> This sorry sack of shit couldn't be bothered to find a more flattering thumbnail of the Soulmaid™?



Agreed. Wait, let me fix that.


----------



## Martys_not_smarty (Mar 12, 2018)

Poor woman it's all soaking in now that she has to be dragged out and put on display for fat fucktard Phil's monkeyshow all dressed up with a touch of clevage and face made up.  Got a new TV and a PS4 pro out of it and probably hasn't had to have touched his junk at least once.


----------



## PoopMagnet (Mar 12, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> People function fine as ADHD but to me, it explains her behavior moreso on camera then the gross speculation of "DSP IS HOLDING HER HOSTAGE OMG SAVE HER!!!!1!"




I agree on the fact that the nine pages of "she's a hostage" jokes are tired out.


----------



## DuckSucker (Mar 12, 2018)

This is something Ive wanted to sperg about for a while. It's a really autistic theory and really implausible but DSP is like Air Bud in making fantastic things reality.

So I thought, what if there is a slim chance that Kat is some girl DSP used to know in high school in Connecticut -- hell maybe not even that, just a girl who he was on friendly terms with who needed an out, or a place to stay -- he offers her a room, possibly rent free, if she promises to cook and clean for him. She visits him a few times and he's on his best behavior so she doesnt see anything strange, goes ahead and dives in. I know the first photos he had taken of her were all from behind, including one of her with another man in Ikea, maybe a male relative, like her father? She was definitely closer to him than Phil, and Phil was only taking kinda creepshot photos of her from behind. But the first couple of photos of them, I didnt really get the "boyfriend" vibe from, even when she was all smiles and shit when she first got there--but I was like, well just a female friend probably wouldnt let you get that grabby and close with her if she wasnt in on it, and wouldnt let you take that many photos of her (although she did eventually tell him to stop, when people were asking if she disappeared). I thought about asking if she was actually dating DSP and knew he was calling her his soulmate, but never got around to it because it's fucking dumb.

Now that this is out, it does kinda shoot holes in that, but the looks on her face during this kind of give it a bit of buoyancy. I tried thinking of how else Phil could pull it off or weave out this story, and I figure--DSP's not above bringing this girl out to Seattle on promises of free rent until she gets her footing, buying her shit like a phone, plane tickets and paying for her to move her shit out, but then pulling the rug out from under her a few weeks later by basically blackmailing her into being his boyfriend or else he'll kick her out, or how he needs her to play this act because otherwise he'll lose the house and he totally needs this. He wouldnt see a problem with leveraging "the house" over her, because to him it probably wouldnt be abuse because he would be hurt too if he lost the house, so it's a totally mutual situation and not manipulative at all, he really needs that money. It also explains why he was adamant about needing the house to get Kat interested.

I mean theyve never looked like a "happy couple" but theyve never looked less happy (she hasnt) than in these, admittedly pruned screenshots. I know she probably didnt look that way the entire time, but there are times when she's literally snarling at him.


----------



## Sylvie Paula Paula (Mar 12, 2018)

She looks like she wants to kill herself. I understand her pain.


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## HansGruber (Mar 12, 2018)

I did what I could to watch through the video and failed. I can't do it. Between the cringe, DSP's flappy limp noodle arms and invasion of her personal space compounded by her skunk face and inane banter about fucking nothing - I had to close it down. I don't know how it ends. Does she break down in tears or what?


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## neger psykolog (Mar 12, 2018)

HansGruber said:


> I did what I could to watch through the video and failed. I can't do it. Between the cringe, DSP's flappy limp noodle arms and invasion of her personal space compounded by her skunk face and inane banter about fucking nothing - I had to close it down. I don't know how it ends. Does she break down in tears or what?



I don't think many people have been able to watch it because there's even posts on here which I assume were sarcastic about comments about unmarked bills that I don't think are even in the video.

idk can someone check?


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## HansGruber (Mar 12, 2018)

I knew this whole thing felt way too familiar...


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## James Smith (Mar 12, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> I don't think many people have been able to watch it because there's even posts on here which I assume were sarcastic about comments about unmarked bills that I don't think are even in the video.
> 
> idk can someone check?


The newspaper with today's date and unmarked bills thing caught me at first. I was like "I don't remember seeing that," before realizing it was a ransom scenario joke.


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## This+ (Mar 12, 2018)

Kat mentioned that she doesn't watch Phil's streams. I don't know if that's normal for a streamer girlfriend to do or not but just felt like it was worth mentioning.


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## Professor Iris (Mar 12, 2018)

Wow. Why does it look like DSP paid off a hooker to pose as his girlfriend? You can cut the awkward with a knife in those photos.


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## Cubanodun (Mar 12, 2018)

Did he already made his demands or is he waiting to get the president to recognize goutland as a official country ?


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## gREEEEEEEEEr (Mar 12, 2018)

DuckSucker said:


> I mean theyve never looked like a "happy couple" but theyve never looked less happy (she hasnt) than in these, admittedly pruned screenshots. I know she probably didnt look that way the entire time


She pretty much did.


Spoiler: preview image


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## BrunoMattei (Mar 12, 2018)

Pablo Birmingham said:


> This sorry sack of shit couldn't be bothered to find a more flattering thumbnail of the Soulmaid™?



I think that would be hard to do and Phil just couldn't be bothered.

He probably thought as he was choosing a thumbnail "Okay, snort, there has to be a part where she's genuinely smiling." Skims for about 2 minutes then just say's "fuck it' and chooses whatever.


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## AnOminous (Mar 12, 2018)

Imagine being a woman and having this fat, smelly, gouty piece of shit thrusting and grunting on top of you for a minute or two before prematurely ejaculating and claiming bugged sex mechanics.


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## Maggots on a Train (Mar 12, 2018)

LofaSofa said:


> All of her smiles look so painfully forced.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





The female reaction to betamale face.


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## Yop Yop (Mar 12, 2018)

God damn I couldn't even finish this. She looks so incredibly nervous. It's almost like she knows Phil has a forum dedicated to shit talking him and that she is now part of it.


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## The_MmmBop_Gang (Mar 12, 2018)

I can't stop laughing at everything itt


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## KiwiMisetté (Mar 12, 2018)

Late, but god she already looks uncomfortable around Phil in the picture. I look forward to how long their relationship even stays before she hits the bail button. Also seriously, do you really need to touch your "supposed lovers" all the time? Especially without their consent?


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## blackie (Mar 12, 2018)

I bet he made her do this video on her unpaid break then sent her right back to baking


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## David Davidson (Mar 12, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> New policy:
> Anyone who is studying psychology will be able to post whatever they want, but by mentioning that they study psychology and not making a post that sufficiently impresses me they will receive 1 autism point.
> 
> This post has not impressed me so I have decided to award one autism point.



But how does that make you feel?


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## millais (Mar 12, 2018)

Looks like she was visibly disgusted by having to sit on the infamous fapcouch for an entire 15+ minutes.


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## DiabeticSP (Mar 12, 2018)

To be honest her getting a job and out of the house away from him will save the relationship.

Until she's got enough money to leave.


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## AnOminous (Mar 12, 2018)

millais said:


> Looks like she was visibly disgusted by having to sit on the infamous fapcouch for an entire 15+ minutes.



That couch is probably so encrusted with spunk that it could stand up by itself even if you broke all its legs off.


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## Monster of the week (Mar 12, 2018)

God, does she looks uncomfortable.




			
				OP said:
			
		

> who may or may not be blackmailed into submission


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## Windows 98 (Mar 12, 2018)

millais said:


> Looks like she was visibly disgusted by having to sit on the infamous fapcouch for an entire 15+ minutes.


he kept flailing around and wrapping his arm around her I'm sure his underarm and neck stench was unbearable. combined with the jizzcouch? ooof.


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## Fandase (Mar 12, 2018)

The body language speaks volumes. If she leaned any further away from him she would have fallen off the couch.


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## Waveysauce (Mar 12, 2018)

Monster of the week said:


> God, does she looks uncomfortable.



I prefer a soul maid.....easy to maniuplate


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## TrippinKahlua (Mar 12, 2018)

I don't even know what I'm doing here. I don't follow this person.

But that woman obviously doesn't like him. She'd better get out of dodge before she becomes a lolcow.


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## Dangus Bang Boon (Mar 12, 2018)

Its literally like watching an episode of the Office. This is all staged right?


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## Sword_Hand_Tingles (Mar 12, 2018)

"The Craigslist ad said you would pay me $400 for an hour of sex. It's been 3 days and you won't let me leave and you continue to record videos. Someone help me!"


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## Dynamite Ninja (Mar 12, 2018)

I regret nothing


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## Yop Yop (Mar 12, 2018)

Is Phil self aware enough to realize how uncomfortable she was during this video?


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## Xenomorph (Mar 12, 2018)

I wonder h ow terrible his breath is, she looks like she caught a whiff.


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## Windows 98 (Mar 13, 2018)

Dingus Bing Bong said:


> Its literally like watching an episode of the Office. This is all staged right?


that's how I felt whenever phil stared directly into the camera, like her talking was supposed to be a "can you believe this shit?" kind of jim moment.


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## Bridge to Nowhere (Mar 13, 2018)

Never in my life have I seen a more uncomfortable woman. I think she'd be more comfortable if she actually was a hostage. The thing that's weirdest about this is that he actually uploaded it...I didn't think he was that low on self-awareness.


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## Maxliam (Mar 13, 2018)

Ichimaru Gin said:


> One month living with him and she looks ready to jump off the nearest window.
> 
> Great job, Phil.


Or push him into a wood chipper...


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## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2018)

Sword_Hand_Tingles said:


> "The Craigslist ad said you would pay me $400 for an hour of sex. It's been 3 days and you won't let me leave and you continue to record videos. Someone help me!"



You have to eat ALL THE EGGS!



Bridge to Nowhere said:


> Never in my life have I seen a more uncomfortable woman. I think she'd be more comfortable if she actually was a hostage. The thing that's weirdest about this is that he actually uploaded it...I didn't think he was that low on self-awareness.



If you ever had any doubts about Phil being autistic as shit, this should resolve them.  He uploaded this terrifying hostage video, apparently completely oblivious that he comes across as a psychotic virgin and the woman is obviously desperate to escape.


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## BlueSpark (Mar 13, 2018)

Yop Yop said:


> Is Phil self aware enough to realize how uncomfortable she was during this video?


The weird twitching and facial expressions is making me think that she legitimately has something wrong with her. Like, that she's a tweaker or has mental health issues.


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## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2018)

BlueSpark said:


> The weird twitching and facial expressions is making me think that she legitimately has something wrong with her. Like, that she's a tweaker or has mental health issues.



She's with Phil.  That pretty much guarantees she has at the very least a seriously lacking sense of judgment.


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## millais (Mar 13, 2018)

AnOminous said:


> That couch is probably so encrusted with spunk that it could stand up by itself even if you broke all its legs off.


He should install blacklights, so then it can be transformed into a glowing throne for King Gout


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## bearycool (Mar 13, 2018)

I really feel sorry for this women.

Fuck Phil, dude.


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## SoGoose (Mar 13, 2018)

Future headline: 'Police are investigating a murder-suicide at a Seattle home'


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## neger psykolog (Mar 13, 2018)

Tevin made a pretty good video on the gf reveal:


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## NG 070 (Mar 13, 2018)

bearycool said:


> I really feel sorry for this women.
> 
> Fuck Phil, dude.



Eh, I both feel sorry for her, and I don't. 

Either way, if you don't do your homework on DSP before even entering his personal orbit, you deserve what you get, imho.


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## BrunoMattei (Mar 13, 2018)

neger psykolog said:


> Tevin made a pretty good video on the gf reveal:



I am not watching a feature-length video of some sperg sperging out over this.


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## Collections Agent (Mar 13, 2018)

All around me are familiar faces


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## OneDaySon (Mar 13, 2018)

In the video Phil says "Oh all I did was show Kat's face on instagram and INSTANTLY they doxed all this info on her dood!"
Nope, he posted a picture, went on prestream, said that ITS OKAY for people to dox her now because she's living with him so it doesn't matter anymore and then bragged that she's undoxxable anyways.
He pretty much baited the trolls into doxxing her, he dared them, almost like he wanted them to.

The video has a lot of revisionism by Phil since Kat doesn't watch his content, he's obviously not telling the full truth. Like when he says he made a conscious effort not to share his personal life over the past year since they met. The way they look at each other its like Kat told him not to share anything about her (Which makes sense because he said something like that when he revealed her in October or so that she didn't wanna be known) and he's just pretending he hasn't shared anything when he reveals his personal life CONSTANTLY as long as he gets to whine about it. So by his logic he hasn't shared anything about taxes for the past six month since he's made a conscious effort not to share his personal life. Jeez, if this is a conscious effort I wanna see what he thinks no effort is.

Also I thought he "prided" himself on being "real" with his fans and sharing all his personal information about himself. I guess that's untrue when Kats around or she'll get mad at him.

Another inconsistency: He said the Kat moving in process was a breeze and they had no issues and she got her license etc. Which is the complete opposite of what he was whining about in February if anyone remembers that. How much of a hassle it is to get the license, how they gotta wait, how they've been SO swamped and busy. Now that Kat's around, it was a breeze. He even yelled at a guy who tipped him who said how easy it is to get a license and how you can just use your old out of state one for 30 days, cause he interrupted his whiny pity party.

I think what happened was that it WAS easy, however some effort had to be put into it so for him it was this huge hassle and so he went on his stream to whine about his first world problems for pity and tried to make the whole thing harder than it sounds. But then Kat appears, the whole thing is now a breeze. Everything was simple, went really well.


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## Bryan Dunn (Mar 13, 2018)

OneDaySon said:


> In the video Phil says "Oh all I did was show Kat's face on instagram and INSTANTLY they doxed all this info on her dood!"
> Nope, he posted a picture, went on prestream, said that ITS OKAY for people to dox her now because she's living with him so it doesn't matter anymore and then bragged that she's undoxxable anyways.
> He pretty much baited the trolls into doxxing her, he dared them, almost like he wanted them to.
> 
> ...



https://vocaroo.com/i/s0UYNw1hNofb


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## neger psykolog (Mar 13, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> https://vocaroo.com/i/s0UYNw1hNofb



nigga im callin da cops u textin and drivin


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## Xenomorph (Mar 13, 2018)

I wonder if this is Kats face when she smelled Phils musty ass armpits and he slid his hairy and greasy arm around her


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## LordAutismo (Mar 13, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> https://vocaroo.com/i/s0UYNw1hNofb



That was the most autstic way I have ever seen someone make a post.  Are your fingers broke?


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## Grotesque (Mar 13, 2018)

I'd fuck her hard ngl


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## HansGruber (Mar 13, 2018)

All I know is the more she sticks around the more potential hilarity will follow. I only hope Kat doesn't by that point become a fall down drunk.


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## Grotesque (Mar 13, 2018)

Nigga can get a hottie on his cum couch, I gonna get a cunt on my cum and shit stained chair.


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## neger psykolog (Mar 13, 2018)

Grotesque said:


> I'd fuck her hard ngl





Grotesque said:


> Nigga can get a hottie on his cum couch, I gonna get a cunt on my cum and shit stained chair.



3 autism points + threadban 4 autism


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## The Janitor (Mar 13, 2018)

xenomorph said:


> View attachment 401695
> 
> I wonder if this is Kats face when she smelled Phils musty ass armpits and he slid his hairy and greasy arm around her



It looks like she has two black eyes.. now I'm imagining Phil hitting her for not making him a sandwich.

"My brand new girlfriend is bugged dood."


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## Zvantastika (Mar 13, 2018)

You guys are being too rude. I'm happy for both of them, especially for DSP, he finally found someone who loves him just as much as he loves *her:*
*

* 
I wish them both all the best, because they were obvs meant for each other.

I wonder if she sells soaps, not sure why that thought just randomly came to me right now.


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## AshitPie (Mar 13, 2018)

What Kat sees vs What Phil sees


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## Maxliam (Mar 13, 2018)

Bridge to Nowhere said:


> Never in my life have I seen a more uncomfortable woman. I think she'd be more comfortable if she actually was a hostage. The thing that's weirdest about this is that he actually uploaded it...I didn't think he was that low on self-awareness.


I think she's trying to blink morse code to us to get help.


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## AprilRains (Mar 13, 2018)

Looks like that wedding photo of Scalzi's:


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## Emmet (Mar 13, 2018)

This image goes pretty good with this situation.


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## Paco's Chili Holocaust (Mar 13, 2018)

4/10 at best.

The girl is alright too.


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## Maxliam (Mar 13, 2018)

Paco's Chili Holocaust said:


> 4/10 at best.
> 
> The girl is alright too.


She could still do better. And this is coming from a drunk emu emo kid.


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## BeanieGuy (Mar 13, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> She could still do better. And this is coming from a drunk emu emo kid.


WIth a little less make up she would look a lot better than she does right now. She looks kinda trashy with that stuff under her eyes


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## Maxliam (Mar 13, 2018)

BeanieGuy said:


> WIth a little less make up she would look a lot better than she does right now. She looks kinda trashy with that stuff under her eyes


That and maybe lose a little weight and not pull her hair back. It looks like hell on some chicks. She's got potential to be a 7 or 8 if she worked on it. But she settled, just like she settled in to a life of escorting when he hired her.


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## sunreaver (Mar 13, 2018)

BeanieGuy said:


> WIth a little less make up she would look a lot better than she does right now. She looks kinda trashy with that stuff under her eyes



she'd look like a totally normal woman if she wasn't in a position where it looked like she just got straight up kidnapped


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## SwattedKat (Mar 13, 2018)

Girl needs to watch some eye make-up tutorials on YouTube.


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## Sloan Ward (Mar 13, 2018)

You can practically hear her crying through her facial expressions, "help me!"


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## Emmet (Mar 13, 2018)

To be honest, most sane people would be screaming 'HELP ME' after five minutes in Phil's apartment.


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## Shiversblood (Mar 13, 2018)

I feel really bad for her. Its just not right.


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## Sparkletor (Mar 13, 2018)

Emmet said:


> To be honest, most sane people would be screaming 'HELP ME' after five minutes in Phil's apartment.


That isn't an apartment. That room is legally classified by the U.S. government as an office in his full adult house.


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## Phil Ken Sebben (Mar 13, 2018)

Sparkletor said:


> That isn't an apartment. That room is legally classified by the U.S. government as an office in his full adult house.


But it's not a business. Just to be clear he does not own a business except when he totally says that he does.


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## Collections Agent (Mar 13, 2018)

You guys forget pretty easily that she's there on her own free will, and apparently visited him several times before this.

She knew the misery she'd be moving into.


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## Phil Ken Sebben (Mar 13, 2018)

Collections Agent said:


> You guys forget pretty easily that she's there on her own free will, and apparently visited him several times before this.
> 
> She knew the misery she'd be moving into.


Something tells me that she had no choice and had to leave reasonably fast and she found a sucker in Phil that she could use for a while. She just didn't know it would be so "real". 

Seriously. That is not the face of a woman who wants to be there.


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## The Un-Clit (Mar 13, 2018)

You can SMELL the fear and or/disgust coming off her in waves through the video feed.

This is not a woman happy with her situation, at the very least.

I come into this a near-total DSP virgin, he's just never caught my interest enough to care, but this video, I saw a freeze-frame on the front page of the site and was forced to click. The sheer unambiguous disgust radiating out from her every single frame is just awesome in it's lack of any attempt to disguise it.

This chick hates Phil, and hates every second he has her on camera calling her his schmoopie-doopie.


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## Maxliam (Mar 13, 2018)

Here's a reenactment of what happened after he posted the video:


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## sparklemilhouse (Mar 13, 2018)

...this isn’t one of those mail order bride situations is it?


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## odius (Mar 13, 2018)

that's a pretty w i d e  faced bitch


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## Martys_not_smarty (Mar 14, 2018)

Phil Ken Sebben said:


> Something tells me that she had no choice and had to leave reasonably fast and she found a sucker in Phil that she could use for a while. She just didn't know it would be so "real".
> 
> Seriously. That is not the face of a woman who wants to be there.


A woman who had a bit too much wishful thinking of not having to be on camera for this shitshow.


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## AnOminous (Mar 14, 2018)

The Un-Clit said:


> This chick hates Phil, and hates every second he has her on camera calling her his schmoopie-doopie.



There are literally thousands of hours of video a Google search away on the pigroach and how disgusting he is, most of it put up by Phil himself.  Anyone who crosses the country without watching a minute of it has a few screws loose.


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## maddipuppy (Mar 14, 2018)

half of the issues regarding her expressions would be fixed if she just drew her eyebrows more fully. the way she has them now makes her look like she's scrunching her eyebrows together constantly


----------



## DragoonSierra (Mar 14, 2018)

Bryan Dunn said:


> I was a behavioral therapist lol. This has been known for some time. I wrote plenty of notes.
> 
> @neger psykolog I like you but she has ADHD and you are looking at the definition of anti-Social Personality Disorder which conflates Borderline Personality Disorder. She just shows signs but this is due to ADHD. ADHD covers depression, anxiety, antisocial spectrums etc. Its extremely common.
> 
> People function fine as ADHD but to me, it explains her behavior moreso on camera then the gross speculation of "DSP IS HOLDING HER HOSTAGE OMG SAVE HER!!!!1!"


i bet you diagnose yourself havent you


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## Eald'narche (Mar 14, 2018)

If you watch her eyes, I think she's trying to blink out "SEND HELP" in morse code. She's being held hostage! She must have shaved off her eyebrows to call attention to her eyes so she could get the message out. 

I'm sending you thoughts and prayers Kat, but you got yourself into this situation, so you gotta get yourself out!


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## (not) y2k compliant (Mar 14, 2018)

Who knows, she might stick around. Eyes like that are obviously desperate/regretful, maybe shes made a few mistakes and DSP is just the best she can get..... for now.
Although I'm sure we wont hear of her departure unlike this video where it seemingly exists to say "I've got a GF! Fug off trolls!"


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## Near (Mar 14, 2018)

Saw this on /v/


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## Preferred Penne (Mar 14, 2018)

Just Kat.


----------



## ZehnBoat (Mar 15, 2018)

Moritsune said:


> Saw this on /v/


rare footage of SCP-4688



(not) y2k compliant said:


> Who knows, she might stick around. Eyes like that are obviously desperate/regretful, maybe shes made a few mistakes and DSP is just the best she can get..... for now.
> Although I'm sure we wont hear of her departure unlike this video where it seemingly exists to say "I've got a GF! Fug off trolls!"


calling it now, if she ever leaves we wont hear about it for at least 4 months and then he'll say something like "SHE WAS VISITING HER MOTHER AND DIED ON THE PLANE TRIP OVER!! I NEED MONEY FOR THE FUNERAL!!!!"


----------



## Sparkletor (Mar 15, 2018)

ZehnBoat said:


> "SHE WAS VISITING HER MOTHER AND DIED ON THE PLANE TRIP OVER!! I NEED MONEY FOR THE FUNERAL!!!!"


Unlikely since her mother forced her kids to assume "the Jesus crucifixion" pose to "feel what Jesus felt" as punishment and locked her demon possessed sister in a closet for a day until the police rescued her. I don't think Kat and her mother are very close.


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## (not) y2k compliant (Mar 15, 2018)

ZehnBoat said:


> calling it now, if she ever leaves we wont hear about it for at least 4 months and then he'll say something like "SHE WAS VISITING HER MOTHER AND DIED ON THE PLANE TRIP OVER!! I NEED MONEY FOR THE FUNERAL!!!!"


There should be a pole on the thread for when you think the break up is going to be mentioned on the stream as DSP has a blow up about it. I'd say 4 months out is a good guess.


----------



## Sparkletor (Mar 15, 2018)

(not) y2k compliant said:


> There should be a pole on the thread for when you think the break up is going to be mentioned on the stream as DSP has a blow up about it. I'd say 4 months out is a good guess.


Its in the main thread


----------

