# If you could tell a younger you one thing....



## ZeCommissar (Jan 15, 2017)

Alright you travel back in time infront of your younger self (not a definite age, it could be last year or when you were 5), the universe doesn't rip apart in a paradox.

What would you tell your younger self?

Examples: "Yeah that girl ashley you're going to marry? She's going to cheat on you" or "Don't go on Kiwi Farms if you want to keep faith in humanity"


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## 0xDEADBEEF (Jan 15, 2017)

"kill yourself"


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## WireSponge (Jan 15, 2017)

Fuk u u little cunt I should have killed you when I had the chance


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## Kiwi Jeff (Jan 15, 2017)

"Dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed"


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## Some JERK (Jan 15, 2017)

Tell your parents you're sorry for all the stupid shit you ever did, and forgive them for all the shit you're mad about. Even if you don't mean it at all. Just sit them down and say the words and try your hardest to convince them that you really mean it, because one day you actually will, and every fucking day you'll wish you could tell them, but they'll be gone.


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## smallmilk (Jan 15, 2017)

"BE BETTER!!" basically.

Put more effort into shit, cuz i think that half assing things screwed me the most later on.

Also go outside.


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## Cuck Norris (Jan 15, 2017)

Don't bother buying her that ring.


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## AA 102 (Jan 15, 2017)

Remember to turn off the oven.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2017)

Lol calm down


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## D.Va (Jan 15, 2017)

invest in Apple stock


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## Ulfric Stormcloak (Jan 15, 2017)

Don't waste time in college. When you're 23 you'll be making six figures.


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## A Potato Named Vodka (Jan 15, 2017)

It doesn't get better, but you will be stronger.


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## cypocraphy (Jan 15, 2017)

Stop jerking off so damn much.


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## Ntwadumela (Jan 15, 2017)

"You're gonna be one sexy, manly man after you hit puberty. Plus, learning martial arts will benefit you greatly."


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## VJ 120 (Jan 15, 2017)

Don't go ten miles for a man who wouldn't move an inch for you.

Also, exercise more, lardass.


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## Coldgrip (Jan 15, 2017)

Don't pull her out of the way of that on coming vehicle.


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## Cuck Norris (Jan 15, 2017)

Kill John Connor.


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## Todesfurcht (Jan 15, 2017)

"Never stop drawing"
"Anxiety is scary, but it wont haunt you for long"
"*BE A MEMEMASTER*"


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Jan 15, 2017)

-"Don't feel bad about not majoring in biomed. It still wouldn't have been a guarantee of security."
-"Stop playing therapist to everyone unless you're gettin' paid for it and stop trying to help people when they clearly refuse to change."
-"Your 'best friend forever' thinks weed and playing pretend is more important than school or a real job. Dump her ass and save yourself three years of heartache and frustration."
-"Yes, they were right that your art is shit. But it's also not going to get any less shit if you quit."

And finally:
-"You're not going to find lasting friends with furries, genderspecials, and /b/tards. Stop fucking crawling into their cesspits thinking you can."


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## Gym Leader Elesa (Jan 15, 2017)

Warzones are bad and you should avoid them.


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## Kari Kamiya (Jan 15, 2017)

Get off your procrastinating ass and do what you're supposed to be doing now, not for later or you'll never do it.


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## Bassomatic (Jan 16, 2017)

Go to Westpoint don't pussy out
You'll never be happy so just get used to it
Don't take her back she cheated on you
Travel more you can play with and buy cars and guns later on


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## fire_fly (Jan 16, 2017)

1. Stop eating your feelings and get help. I know our family kinda sees depression as that thing you do when you're lazy or you want attention, but be honest and tell your parents you need to see somebody. It'll save you lots of trouble in the long run. Hell, maybe if you're properly medicated, you'll actually have the motivation to do well in school and you won't wind up failing two careers before you turn thirty! Just imagine!

2. _Shut the fuck up once in a while_. Jesus Christ, grow a filter, you have so many secrets that you'll never, ever reveal and yet you tell everyone all this unnecessary bullshit. STOP.

3. Enjoy your ability while you have it, because in your mid-twenties your body is going to crash_ hard_ and recovering is going to be made a lot worse by your poor choices in diet and exercise.

4. He'll never love you. He doesn't give a shit about you. Stop crying over someone who only ever saw you as a placeholder.

5. Do stuff in high school. Seriously. Just put the paint brush down a few hours a week and join the choir, it's not like you have to actually be able to sing, judging by most of the members. And at least you'll get to hang out with your friends and go to Disney World and shit.


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## RI 360 (Jan 16, 2017)

Shoot Treyvon twice.


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## Ichimaru Gin (Jan 16, 2017)

Do something that you want once in a while; the pent-up resentment is not worth it.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Jan 16, 2017)

"Buy as many bitcoins as you can. They're not even a dollar right now."


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## Madam Hash (Jan 16, 2017)

It's lies all lies all the way down


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## m0rnutz (Jan 16, 2017)

"Call her."


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## buffaloWildWings (Jan 16, 2017)

"Make America Great Again!"


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## Mesh Gear Fox (Jan 16, 2017)

Stay away from the cocaine


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## Foltest (Jan 16, 2017)

Go to the gym more often!


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Jan 16, 2017)

I thought of another one.

"I know you like being a lazy fucking teenager. I know the day was exhausting and you just want to go to bed. But go out to the barn later that night. If you love your horse; if you want to see her grow old and die comfortable and loved, _you'll go out to the fucking barn that night."
_
...Past me didn't listen.


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## TheAmazingAxolotl (Jan 16, 2017)

"If you told your brother to go fuck himself every once in a while, I'd probably be a much happier man."


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## Black Waltz (Jan 16, 2017)

1. Stop being a lazy cunt. 
2. She never liked you to begin with.


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## Gus (Feb 24, 2018)

"You'll always see the end of a tunnel if you keep going."


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## ForgedBlades (Feb 24, 2018)

Don't let your brother kill himself in 2009.


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## Bad Times (Feb 24, 2018)

"Hey little shit, put down the fucking family size lasagna and listen a sec. This is weird right but I need to tell you one thing, I know it's corny as hell, you've seen this question 100 times on forums before and it's always "be better" or some shit but here's something real for little me. You don't have to be a good person as it's not possible.  I can see you right there, squirming saying some shit about friendship being a power or something dumb like that but I'm telling you now, nobody is 'good' in the traditional sense and neither are you and you can't let that tear you up. Embrace being a bit of a shit because you will become a far more confident person in the long run for it. Now continue eating you fat piece of shit."


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## TheClorax (Feb 24, 2018)

If you ever see a site called KiwiFarms, never click on it, much less make an account.


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## Red Hood (Feb 24, 2018)

Don't listen to the idiots that tell you you need college. Why not spend a couple years in trade school, and by the time you're in your 30s you'll have seniority and security at the auto shop or whatever?


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## AF 802 (Feb 24, 2018)

Spoiler: possible PL



Don't try and get yourself unbanned from a certain spergy community. It'll only hurt you in the end.


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## Black Waltz (Feb 24, 2018)

you're gay


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## scared sheep (Feb 25, 2018)

Older men are not interested in you because you seem "mature for your age," they're interested because you're a gullible little shit who's desperate for some sort of positive attention and validation.


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## UncleFezziesPantsPuppet (Feb 25, 2018)

Don’t date that crazy krout cunt.


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## Y2K Baby (Feb 26, 2018)

You were never worth it.


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## Philosophy Zombie (Feb 26, 2018)

As soon as you're born you have to tell your parents not to vaccinate you


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## Army Burger (Feb 26, 2018)

don't be fuckin' stupid


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## Philosophy Zombie (Feb 26, 2018)

scared sheep said:


> Older men are not interested in you because you seem "mature for your age," they're interested because you're a gullible little shit who's desperate for some sort of positive attention and validation.


This.


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## Tookie (Feb 26, 2018)

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


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## Salt Water Taffy (Feb 27, 2018)

Hey there Lil' Taffy! You know those Gossip Girl books you love so much? Well guess what? When you're in college, you get to be a gossip girl! Except instead of gossiping about New York socialites, you're going to be gossiping about obese autistic neckbeards.


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## QB 290 (Feb 27, 2018)

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should


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## Yeeb-Renzo (Feb 27, 2018)

Join Kiwifarms.net


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## FierceBrosnan (Feb 27, 2018)

Young Fierce, please stop thinking with your dick for 5 minutes and focus.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Feb 27, 2018)

1. It's going to be ok, stop worrying.
2. Don't eat that, your colon will not thank you.
3. Don't stop playing the trumpet, now I'm making up for nearly 13 years of lost time.


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## Pepito The Cat (Feb 28, 2018)

"don't pay attention to dad, he's an asshole. Buy Bitcoin in 2010. Take care of your mother and wear leg armor when doing raids, you'll know what that last one means in time. Remember it all".


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## BurningPewter (Feb 28, 2018)

trolling on IMDB is not worth this effort. Ignore American new feminists. they are ideologically posessed and you will never force sense out of them.


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## Iodised Ant (Feb 28, 2018)

Read that fucking book post-haste.


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## Pvt. Shitpost (Feb 28, 2018)

Practice your guitar now and take it seriously  so you can end up guitar world magazine.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Mar 1, 2018)

*do a flip dyke*


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## Black Waltz (Mar 1, 2018)

Uncanny Valley said:


> *do a flip dyke*


same but replace dyke with fag


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## Red Hood (Mar 1, 2018)

Turn off that pesky adblock


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## DrJonesHat (Mar 1, 2018)

Don't go to fucking college straight out of high school.


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## Francis E. Dec Esc. (Mar 1, 2018)

Those dog biscuits are full of mealworms.


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## DrJonesHat (Mar 1, 2018)

DrJonesHat said:


> Don't go to fucking college straight out of high school.


Me to 1998 me: take all that money you just got from your aunt and invest it in this company called Google. Trust me on this.


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## Sammy (Mar 1, 2018)

Go with her, fuck your "career."


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## Pina Colada (Mar 1, 2018)

"Pick the co-ed Catholic high school over the all-girls' one. It'll save you money, frustration, therapy, and switching to a second-rate school. Also, appreciate your father because the 'he's not gonna be here forever' sentiment's gonna bite back _hard_."


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## The Sourdough Region (Mar 1, 2018)

Don't go into nursing school right off the goddamn bat. Also, don't pass up on that Arisaka with the 'mum intact.


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## Inquisitor_BadAss (Mar 1, 2018)

Finish your A Levels you fucking hermit.


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## Cato (Mar 1, 2018)

DrJonesHat said:


> Don't go to fucking college straight out of high school.



Funny, mine is the opposite: get your formal education out of the way early and start a real, professional career at a young age, instead of fucking around working mediocre jobs throughout your 20's while studying part-time. I like that I got to experience many different career paths and it did help me develop as a person and give me perspective...but I'm not sure that was worth being 10 years behind my friends in establishing a career and life.

I'd also say to be realistic about the level of compromise various career paths will require, and don't pursue them if it's unacceptable, instead of thinking you can mostly get away with being a maverick and pissing superiors off. I learned that one the hard way. Life usually isn't TV with the maverick detective who plays by his own rules and the bunny ears lawyer who is so hypercompetent that his eccentricities are tolerated. If people who matter don't want to have to deal with you every day, you're done.

Edited to add - Also develop skills that will allow you to market and work for yourself, instead of being dependent on other people for your livelihood.


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## DrJonesHat (Mar 1, 2018)

Start that club you thought about. Sure, it could fail, but if you don't, you'll never know.


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## CWCchange (Mar 1, 2018)

The results of every major horse race, boxing match, etc.


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## QB 290 (Mar 1, 2018)

wait until you get out of school before you start dating


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## Black Waltz (Mar 1, 2018)

your best friend is going to troon out and ditch you by the time you graduate from high school


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## Shark Tiddays (Mar 3, 2018)

You're not crazy. Your mom actually is a piece of shit.

Everything is going to get better as soon as you graduate. You can do it, you little faggot.


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## Sylvie Paula Paula (Mar 3, 2018)

Don't date that one person who's obsessing over you. It's not worth it. Also, don't try going to a Catholic school, you little tard. Maybe go buy some earplugs first.


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## Tragi-Chan (Mar 4, 2018)

In 2006, a nuclear war will destroy all the major cities of the world, unless you assassinate James Corden.

Nah, I'm just messin' with ya, kid. Invest in the following companies, make the following bets and invent the following objects. Also, you're going to go on a date with this girl. You won't attempt to get a second date because she's just a total bitch and isn't even all that hot. However, by my era, she's grown up, lost weight and is now one of the most famous actresses in the world. You must get that second date.

Actually, do assassinate James Corden.


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## admiral (Mar 4, 2018)

It can happen to you.


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## The Colonel (Mar 4, 2018)

The college thing? Just do it. It’s really not that hard.


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## MG 620 (Mar 4, 2018)

Don't give Chris all your money.


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## Some JERK (Mar 4, 2018)

Tragi-Chan said:


> Also, you're going to go on a date with this girl. You won't attempt to get a second date because she's just a total bitch and isn't even all that hot. However, by my era, she's grown up, lost weight and is now one of the most famous actresses in the world. You must get that second date.


I don't know... dating a professional emotion-faker seems like a risky proposition.


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## Steggu Etiw (Mar 5, 2018)

"Stop going full moronic or you'll fuck up big time"


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## cypocraphy (Mar 5, 2018)

Get your car inspected when the sticker tells you to. Don't procrastinate about your 'check engine' light.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 5, 2018)

Don't go to Target and steal all that stuff with those "friends" of yours. Also get your act together and stop fucking around.


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## pelicannon (Mar 5, 2018)

You're gay, stop panicking about it. Keep motivated, it will work it out if you keep trying and dump your stupid ex


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## Dovahshit (Apr 10, 2018)

get shock therapy and lay of the booze. for once


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## Slowpoke Sonic (Apr 10, 2018)

you need to grow the fuck up and stop being such a socially awkward sperg


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## sbm1990 (Apr 10, 2018)

Quit being such a retard on the internet!


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## Red Hood (Apr 10, 2018)

Save those Berenstein Bears books, you'll need them one day


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## UnKillShredDur (Apr 10, 2018)

Don't join Kiwifarms.


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## Thelostcup (Apr 10, 2018)

Girlfriends don't matter that much.


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## Sadcake (Apr 10, 2018)

Dont accept that job.


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## Captain Toad (Apr 10, 2018)

Stop procrastinating and get your homework done.


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## Black Waltz (Apr 10, 2018)

wait a year before starting college


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## Hui (Apr 10, 2018)

Kill yourself now


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## Nihilist Lord (Apr 12, 2018)

"A lot of people is going to hurt you and leave you, but you are so stong. Don´t pass three months alone in your house with your depression AND GO OUT PLEASE PEOPLE IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU."


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## 8777BB5 (Apr 12, 2018)

You don't need friends nor do you need to be normal. Contrary to what mom and dad tell you there is nothing wrong with being a loner who doesn't have friends. If you try to pursue friendships you'll just get yourself in trouble and embarrass yourself.


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## James Howlett (Apr 12, 2018)

You won't believe this, but that guy is going to start dressing as a woman and macing people at Gamestop.


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## Tragi-Chan (Apr 13, 2018)

Stop overthinking and have more sex.


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## Red Hood (Apr 13, 2018)

If a lot of people loved each other, the world would be a better place to live.


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## mate (Apr 13, 2018)

Do not go to Saudi Arabia.


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## Vincenzo Valentino (Apr 13, 2018)

I'd give myself the winning lottery numbers of course


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## Ntwadumela (Apr 16, 2018)

Stop caring too much about what others think of you as well as acting overly defensive. You'll never achieve peace of mind if you don't.


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## Dysnomia (Apr 18, 2018)

Your siblings are morons. No matter what you do in life you'll always be better than them. So stop putting yourself down.


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## mortyposter (Oct 22, 2021)

Get laid as soon as possible.


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## totallyrandomusername (Oct 22, 2021)

"It is entirely possible to be too honest."


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## Roast Chicken (Oct 22, 2021)

"Take school more seriously."


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