# The Kiwi Farms House



## Milk Mage (Dec 4, 2019)

ITT: We all live in the same house. Hilarity ensues.


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## Maskull (Dec 4, 2019)

If I don't even like living with myself how pleasured would I be living in flop with you?


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## The Pink Panther (Dec 4, 2019)

I would bully @Libtard Baby on a daily basis. I would show up and be like:

"Hey, where's your bottle, baby?" and I'd chug a liter of vodka down his throat.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

what's the rules on sex?


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## maalikthefakemuzzie (Dec 4, 2019)

I would be the weeb sword owner whomst studied the blade.


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## Thank Fuck For Evil Otto (Dec 4, 2019)

Sesame Street ain't what it used to be.


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## Ido (Dec 4, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> what's the rules on sex?


lol we're all too fat to get out of our wheelchairs let alone have it.


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## Vampirella (Dec 4, 2019)

Just stay out of the basement and ignore the giant freezer.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

Ido said:


> lol we're all too fat to get out of our wheelchairs let alone have it.


The best way to lose the weight is through dry humping it seems.


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## Ido (Dec 4, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> The best way to lose the weight is through dry humping it seems.


Null, the fattest of us, would eat the ones who defy him


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

Ido said:


> Null, the fattest of us, would eat the ones who defy him


That feeder null, fattened up the house just to show his other side of being a vore!


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## Shmidty Werbenmanjenson (Dec 4, 2019)

Shed in the back yard.

Edit: meat hooks.


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 4, 2019)

Nekromantik2 said:


> Just stay out of the basement and ignore the giant freezer.


Also, don't get too close to the furnace behind the locked door.


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## HarveyMC (Dec 4, 2019)

Fuck it. All Kiwis are welcome in the MacClout House. We'll put up cameras and stream it live to Twitch 24/7.


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## A Hot Potato (Dec 4, 2019)

Is rape allowed?


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 4, 2019)

A Cold Potato said:


> Is rape allowed?


Is it really rape if the people watching it like it?


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

A Cold Potato said:


> Is rape allowed?


You want to gang up on other individuals to find out?


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## Monika H. (Dec 4, 2019)

I feel like I would be that slutty unmarried aunt that goes in and out and gets slightly racist after her third glass of brandy tbh


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## Stephanie Bustcakes (Dec 4, 2019)

There are thousands of active members. We're gonna need a bigger house. Especially when you consider that the average kiwi weighs 400 lbs.


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 4, 2019)

Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order


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## A Hot Potato (Dec 4, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order


I CALL THE RAPE PART


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 4, 2019)

A Cold Potato said:


> I CALL THE RAPE PART


What if they aren't 15 years old? What are the rules then?

Also, dibs on the top shelf of the cat tower.


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## Milk Mage (Dec 4, 2019)

Stephanie Bustcakes said:


> There are thousands of active members. We're gonna need a bigger house. Especially when you consider that the average kiwi weighs 400 lbs.


Alrighty. How's this then?


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 4, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> Alrighty. How's this then?
> View attachment 1037061


Joke's on you, we're all too fat to push out those windows


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## Vampirella (Dec 4, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> Alrighty. How's this then?
> View attachment 1037061


That lovely balcony will be perfect for my BBQ pit.


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## A Hot Potato (Dec 4, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> Alrighty. How's this then?
> View attachment 1037061


Legit curious, what the hell is this building?


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## Monika H. (Dec 4, 2019)

A Cold Potato said:


> Legit curious, what the hell is this building?


My bet it's that it's something Soviet/gulag like


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## I Love Beef (Dec 4, 2019)

If we live in apartments, all's okay! If we don't, DON'T TOUCH MY FRIDGE. ASK FIRST.


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## JohnLenin (Dec 4, 2019)

Alright just don't drink my choccy mil k guys >: ( I bought it


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## ForgedBlades (Dec 4, 2019)

Imagine the smell.


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## Milk Mage (Dec 4, 2019)

A Cold Potato said:


> Legit curious, what the hell is this building?


Ponte City in Johannesburg, South Africa


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## Marco Fucko (Dec 4, 2019)

If we're all in the same house then I get top bunk, so if the bunk bed breaks I can accidentally murder someone in my sleep.


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## I Love Beef (Dec 4, 2019)

fuck it, who wants dinner, I am cooking tonight


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## Maskull (Dec 4, 2019)

I Love Beef said:


> fuck it, who wants dinner, I am cooking tonight


Feed me your beef.


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## Pissmaster (Dec 4, 2019)

who the fuck keeps flying a drone outside my window trying to record me while i'm taking a shit


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Dec 4, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order



It was @Maskull, and the lube is in the top drawer of their nightstand, beside the loaded revolver.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

Pissmaster General said:


> who the fuck keeps flying a drone outside my window trying to record me while i'm taking a shit


Oh my bad. Just trying to start up a Kiwi IRL twitch channel


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## Maskull (Dec 4, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order


You know where the lube is.


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## Pissmaster (Dec 4, 2019)

I Love Beef said:


> fuck it, who wants dinner, I am cooking tonight


I saw this on your screen earlier:


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## J A N D E K (Dec 4, 2019)

The Pink Panther said:


> I would bully @Libtard Baby on a daily basis.


Then I would be having “accidents” on your rug on a daily basis... and if the bullying continued, those “accidents” would eventually move to your bed. Mess with Babby and you mess with his dog...


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## BingBong (Dec 4, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> what's the rules on sex?


Do it as much as possible. With anything that moves.


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## A single cheeto (Dec 4, 2019)

Can I watch my shitty anime in peace?


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## The Pink Panther (Dec 4, 2019)

J A N D E K said:


> Then I would be having “accidents” on your rug on a daily basis... and if the bullying continued, those “accidents” would eventually move to your bed. Mess with Babby and you mess with his dog...


I could get my white girlfriend to fuck you


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

BingBong said:


> Do it as much as possible. With anything that moves.


Don't say that within earshot of Alinity!


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## Purin Chan (Dec 4, 2019)

I'd be that one guy that shuts themselves in their room and refuses to socialize with any of my other kiwi roommates (except for @Plasmapheresis and @cumrobbery of course)


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Dec 4, 2019)

That's IT!
I'm going to split our room in exactly half with this tape.
You stay on your side and I"ll stay on _my_ side.




ProgKing of the North said:


> Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order


THIS, so much this.
I had no idea how big of a difference it made until my wife put it in backwards once.


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## Diabeetus (Dec 4, 2019)

@Tetra and @Sakura Kinomoto would spend their days as couch potatoes, watching movies and episodes of _Adam Ruins Everything_ while annoying the shit out of each other.

I'd wanna be roommates with @Samoyed and @LofaSofa, occasionally visiting everyone else's rooms if they wanted me around to make them Mac & Cheese.


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## RatedTardSuperstar (Dec 4, 2019)

Hope you like drunken food experiments because I'll be doing a lot of those.


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## Pina Colada (Dec 4, 2019)

Who's the asshole that stole my hooking money to buy crack?!


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Dec 4, 2019)

Monika H. said:


> My bet it's that it's something Soviet/gulag like


Nobody else would be sick enough to give you windows like that on an inward curved building so you'd never have privacy.



A single cheeto said:


> Can I watch my shitty anime in peace?


Depends on how many tentacles are involved.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

PururinSenpai said:


> I'd be that one guy that shuts themselves in their room and refuses to socialize with any of my other kiwi roommates (except for @Plasmapheresis and @cumrobbery of course)


I think that's most of us. I'm the one who'd say dumb statments on the regular.


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## Purin Chan (Dec 4, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> I think that's most of us. I'm the one who'd say dumb statments on the regular.


Like the dimwitted comic relief character on a sitcom?


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## Autisimodo (Dec 4, 2019)

I don't know who'd roommate with me, but y'all can use my Pool Table*.

*Until I catch someone putting drinks on the felt, then I'll stick a cue up your ass. *No lube.*


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Dec 4, 2019)

The Pink Panther said:


> I could get my white girlfriend to fuck you


I'm not (completely) white, I'm not a girl and we're _not_ friends.

Other than that, I'm open to suggestions.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 4, 2019)

PururinSenpai said:


> Like the dimwitted comic relief character on a sitcom?


The one who would step out of the shower with bright ideas like how Pedophiles are triskaidekaphobic since they are afraid of their girlfriends turning 13. Or the statement where you would wonder why any living human would say something like that out of the blue.


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## Immortal Technique (Dec 4, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> Alrighty. How's this then?
> View attachment 1037061


Not accurate. You just need 250 homes that people share, and go in and out off. The picture does need +1,500 people looking into the home windows of the kiwi domiciles.


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## The Reaper (Dec 5, 2019)

Autisimodo said:


> I don't know who'd roommate with me, but y'all can use my Pool Table*.
> 
> *Until I catch someone putting drinks on the felt, then I'll stick a cue up your ass. *No lube.*


What if I stick the drinks in your pockets?  Would that be acceptable?  

I would suggest a dart board but that would get deadly really quick.  
Would we make new members cover the pizza costs, given how many pizzas would be showing up at this house?


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## Harnessed Carcass (Dec 5, 2019)

But can I do _Whatever_ in my troon-free zones known as my room? I just wanna know what to expect before moving in to this halfway house of mental illness, radfems and nerds


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## Harnessed Carcass (Dec 5, 2019)

Pina Colada said:


> Who's the asshole that stole my hooking money to buy crack?!


What is this 'crack' u speak of? Never heard of it, how about you, shadow people?


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## LofaSofa (Dec 5, 2019)

Diabeetus said:


> I'd wanna be roommates with @Samoyed and @LofaSofa, occasionally visiting everyone else's rooms if they wanted me around to make them Mac & Cheese.


lol you don't want samoy anywhere near you

(theyre a liar and eat garbage)


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## Samoyed (Dec 5, 2019)

Diabeetus said:


> @Tetra and @Sakura Kinomoto would spend their days as couch potatoes, watching movies and episodes of _Adam Ruins Everything_ while annoying the shit out of each other.
> 
> I'd wanna be roommates with @Samoyed and @LofaSofa, occasionally visiting everyone else's rooms if they wanted me around to make them Mac & Cheese.


if i shared the same space with sofa he'd start trying to feed me chef boyardee. i don't know how to think about this but i will make sure i taunt him with yummy salad lol


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## LofaSofa (Dec 5, 2019)

Samoyed said:


> if i shared the same space with sofa he'd start trying to feed me chef boyardee. i don't know how to think about this but i will make sure i taunt him with yummy salad lol


you dont deserve the chefs quality pasta


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 5, 2019)

Who the hell keeps stealing my HENTAI!?


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 5, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> Who the hell keeps stealing my HENTAI!?


@Remove Goat


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## LofaSofa (Dec 5, 2019)

Well  i dont know him very well but @Mein Garten's hate for lying garbage people makes me want to play uno with them


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## Samoyed (Dec 5, 2019)

LofaSofa said:


> you dont deserve the chefs quality pasta


quality garbo


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## TV's Adam West (Dec 5, 2019)

I refuse to live anywhere near @Autistic Braixen


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## Turd Burglar (Dec 5, 2019)

I have a question. Actually, I have two questions.

Since we're all sexual deviants here, do we have specific deviancy-allowed rooms or can I be deviant wherever I want?

Also, is there nudity? My fat, hairy, sweaty, unwashed ass needs aired out.


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## Autisimodo (Dec 5, 2019)

The Reaper said:


> What if I stick the drinks in your pockets?  Would that be acceptable?


As long as the fabric doesn't get damaged. 

That goes for my pool table as well.


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## The Reaper (Dec 5, 2019)

Autisimodo said:


> As long as the fabric doesn't get damaged.
> 
> That goes for my pool table as well.


I'm gonna do terrible things to your pool table pockets.


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## Mediocre (Dec 5, 2019)

Great, someone in the house got doxxed again and we keep getting pizza deliveries and hookers at the door.


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## Turd Burglar (Dec 5, 2019)

It was me, I'm sorry. I just can't help but A-Log Chris on the internet. 

... can you send the hookers up, though?


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 5, 2019)

So long as I have my own room, and kitchen, and you guys stay the fuck out of them, I'm good.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 5, 2019)

Bunny Tracks said:


> So long as I have my own room, and kitchen, and you guys stay the fuck out of them, I'm good.


As long as all the girls are in the kitchen, I can attest to this.


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## Turd Burglar (Dec 5, 2019)

Bunny Tracks said:


> So long as I have my own room, and kitchen, and you guys stay the fuck out of them, I'm good.



So it's cool if we share a bathroom? I promise I won't make a mess... again.


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 5, 2019)

Turd Burglar said:


> So it's cool if we share a bathroom?


No.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 5, 2019)

Turd Burglar said:


> So it's cool if we share a bathroom?


I'll share a bathroom with you, no fear.


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## YourMommasBackstory (Dec 5, 2019)

ok, i don't mind walking our dogs.

@J A N D E K , @Samoyed , c'mon, boys, it's time for walkies


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## Titty Figurine (Dec 5, 2019)

I'll hang stockings for everyone later in the month but first I really need to know if furfags are allowed to have chocolate. We don't need deathshits on the rug.


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## Arctic Fox (Dec 5, 2019)

I just want to get a walk in freezer. Remind me of home.


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 5, 2019)

YourMommasBackstory said:


> ok, i don't mind walking our dogs.
> 
> @J A N D E K , @Samoyed , c'mon, boys, it's time for walkies


Yeah, walkies inside the furnace.


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## Spl00gies (Dec 5, 2019)

Did anyone catch that kite I threw? It's important.


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## Cedric_Eff (Dec 5, 2019)

Will turn my bedroom into a replica of the interiors from either Salyut 7 or the Mir Core Module.


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## Revo (Dec 5, 2019)

I want to listen  some great music and read a book in silence. Do not disturb.If it's something urgent or someone needs smth important, i will help.


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## roob (Dec 5, 2019)

i can clean! cleaning is fun for me!


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## MAPK phosphatase (Dec 5, 2019)

I call the spot next to the modem. I promise to be a benevolent God and keep the wifi and switches that branch internet into to other rooms running properly. I accept you not bothering me as tribute. Send support tickets to the internal network server if something isn't working properly. Emergencies you can call me.


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## Providence (Dec 5, 2019)

Buncha nincompoops with no plan.

We take, and hold, Mogadishu. The retarded antics of the natives will provide us with eternal entertainment. We take the best of the bunch for cleaning, PayPerView fights to the death, delivery service, and a child army to defend the air conditioning system in our shelled palace. 

Beautiful, chaotic, no cops. It's fuckin shangrila. You're welcome.  ♡


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## L50LasPak (Dec 5, 2019)

Are there any rooms with taps that dispense 75% alcohol? If so, I want that room and I'm probably set.



A Cold Potato said:


> Legit curious, what the hell is this building?



Btw that absolutely dystopic looking structure on page 2ish is based on a Panopticon, I believe.









						Panopticon - Wikipedia
					






					en.wikipedia.org
				




The idea is that the guards can be stationed in the center and therefore always have a visual on the cells as long as there are enough of them. I know a few countries have built these nightmares but I've never seen one that big before. Look at the size of that thing!


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## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 5, 2019)

has anyone seen my rug? this is the last picture I have of it.



for that matter, has anyone seen my cat? I know one of you niggers took him


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## Drive-by punster (Dec 5, 2019)

I'll do the cooking. Just do me a little favor and STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN!


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 5, 2019)

Same. Take one step into it, and you're getting hot oil thrown on you.


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## MAPK phosphatase (Dec 5, 2019)

L50LasPak said:


> Are there any rooms with taps that dispense 75% alcohol? If so, I want that room and I'm probably set.


Anything over 50% abv is a firehazard. Could you settle for regular shipments of cheap vodka rather than having a pressurized flammable liquid distributed throughout the walls of the building?
Side note, you doin' alright there bud?


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## The Sauce Boss (Dec 5, 2019)

Permission to sleep in the yard with a rifle and shoot and glare menacingly at any squirrel within a 50 meter radius of the house?


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## MechanicusAdmin (Dec 5, 2019)

Do you guys like organ music and hymns? There might be some organ music and hymns later maybe.


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## BarberFerdinand (Dec 5, 2019)

What would a ResetEra house be like, I wonder...


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## The Last Stand (Dec 5, 2019)

I call @NOT Sword Fighter Super as a roomie. He's less likely to kill me. 

Although the "What's up my nigga!" remarks are tiring. 





And why is the building segregated? Off to a good start. 
Leave room for the Hiltons.


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## L50LasPak (Dec 5, 2019)

MAPK phosphatase said:


> Anything over 50% abv is a firehazard. Could you settle for regular shipments of cheap vodka rather than having a pressurized flammable liquid distributed throughout the walls of the building?
> Side note, you doin' alright there bud?



That rumor is bullshit, you need like 80% to light a shot on fire.

...but yeah I'll take the cheap vodka if its all ya got.

(btw this thread has convinced me to finally sit down and watch Superjail!)


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 5, 2019)

Yo, does this place come with utilities included? Also, is Null our landlord?


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## The Sauce Boss (Dec 5, 2019)

Bunny Tracks said:


> Yo, does this place come with utilities included? Also, is Null our landlord?



If Null is the landlord, I'll be taking the house across the street just so I can snipe the fucker and get that glow-in-the-dark blood money. Sorry, big chief, but I gotta make a buck somehow.

Utilities? HA! In the current year?


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## Pitere pit (Dec 5, 2019)

I feed the cats and all of you with my bomb ass meals. Also I would keep the niggers, troons and deviants out with my hunting shotgun. Every morning I will put on your doors the heads of invaders alongside some warm coffee and a nice, tasty, cold Gazpacho. I promise it won't be spiked with drugs because you are nice, but, if I find out someone let the Jehovah Witnesses come into our building, I will put heavy drugs on their coffee and Gazpacho.
Also Sundays are paella or potato omelette days. Better that you like this omelettes with onion and the egg not so cooked.
Futhermore, whoever someone touch and fuck other one dakimakura, I will put them into the Garrote Vil, I hope they like some fine neck massage, so good that it will break it. 
And of course, pls shower everyday.


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## Crass_and_Champ (Dec 5, 2019)

Can I lean against the kitchen counter drinking all day? Or is that position already taken? If so, I humbly request to be put in charge of the Official Kiwi Wine (and compromised lolcow nudes) Cellar.


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## A Welsh Cake (Dec 5, 2019)

When did you guys all decide to leave your pets in my room? It was fine at first with just the one cat but all the Herpetoculturists dumped their fucking Iguanas and snakes here and they’re freaking me out.


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## Vampirella (Dec 5, 2019)

All I have to say is this.


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## Remove Goat (Dec 5, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> @Remove Goat


The only thing I've stolen is your mother's virginity, son.


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## Pitere pit (Dec 5, 2019)

Crass_and_Champ said:


> Can I lean against the kitchen counter drinking all day? Or is that position already taken? If so, I humbly request to be put in charge of the Official Kiwi Wine (and compromised lolcow nudes) Cellar.


Welp, I will be the one who is cooking while drinking, you can help me with the wine and liquor cellar. Also, you will be the tester of my meals, you will tell me if the food is bland and need salt or it needs more time in the oven. But pls, be clean, shower everyday and don't smoke inside the kitchen.


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## Judge Holden (Dec 5, 2019)

Yall niggers can have your kitchen. Im claiming the satanic ritual abuse tunnels under the basement as my fermentation lair for kimchi, kefir, kombucha, yoghurt, and sourdough experiments. Any who dare venture within will have their flesh melted away by the excreted kimchi miasma wafting from my tactical shitting bucket and their skin shredded from the bones by my autistic black metal playlist


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## Frozen Fishsticks (Dec 5, 2019)

The wifi password was changed to "14dirty&crapped!briefs88." The router name is staying JULAY!


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Dec 5, 2019)

The Last Stand said:


> I call @NOT Sword Fighter Super as a roomie. He's less likely to kill me.
> 
> Although the "What's up my nigga!" remarks are tiring.
> 
> ...


You mean white guys acting black is dumb and annoying?


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 5, 2019)

The Last Stand said:


> I call @NOT Sword Fighter Super as a roomie. He's less likely to kill me.


Be careful, man, I’ve been hearing rumors that @NOT Sword Fighter Super is actually that guy @Sword Fighter Super in disguise

I don’t trust that shifty motherfucker


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## Deodar (Dec 5, 2019)

I don't think it would last long before the fags find it and it gets nuked due to being the official base of the so-called tranny death squads.
Personally, I'll be profiteering off making the house into a freakshow zoo. Just knock out the walls and replace them with glass, and charge normies money to see furries and deathfats go at it.


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## edboy (Dec 5, 2019)

Shitter's full.


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## HIVidaBoheme (Dec 5, 2019)

I'll take care of the garden and be that annoying relative always out looking over the hedge for the latest gossip and to be overly friendly to the neighbors


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## L50LasPak (Dec 5, 2019)

edboy said:


> Shitter's full.



Merry Christmas!


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## Army Burger (Dec 5, 2019)

L50LasPak said:


> Merry Christmas!


And a happy poo year!


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## Sexy Senior Citizen (Dec 5, 2019)

You fucking kids keep the fuck out of my vintage records or I will cane the ever-living fuck out of you, I shit you not.


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## heyilikeyourmom (Dec 5, 2019)

I’ll hang a sock on my door when the party starts.


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## Alpacawitz (Dec 5, 2019)

heyilikeyourmom said:


> I’ll hang a sock on my door when the party starts.





Spoiler: that's why the door knobs are loose...


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## BONE_Buddy (Dec 5, 2019)

*You hear a large explosion from the now-nonexistant workshop*


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## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 5, 2019)

BONE_Buddy said:


> *You hear a large explosion from the now-nonexistant workshop*


Oh boy, there goes another one. Y'know, I'm starting to think that 90% of us are gonna be dead by the end of the first week.


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## obliviousbeard (Dec 5, 2019)

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK WHO DUMPED SEVERAL WHEELBARROWFULS OF COW SHIT IN THE EASTERN HALLWAY


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## Beluga (Dec 5, 2019)

Who'd be the first to commit an hero and/or a mass shooting?


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 5, 2019)

Look, I understand the mandatory nightly group masturbation sessions are great for bonding, but can I be excused if I’m trying to save my energy for the group orgy later?


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## The Last Stand (Dec 5, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Be careful, man, I’ve been hearing rumors that @NOT Sword Fighter Super is actually that guy @Sword Fighter Super in disguise
> 
> I don’t trust that shifty motherfucker


We don't do conspiracy theories here. Go outside for that.


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 5, 2019)

The Last Stand said:


> We don't do conspiracy theories here. Go outside for that.


You mean out there where the chemtrails are?

Nice try, glownigger


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 5, 2019)

Crass_and_Champ said:


> Can I lean against the kitchen counter drinking all day? Or is that position already taken? If so, I humbly request to be put in charge of the Official Kiwi Wine (and compromised lolcow nudes) Cellar.


I'm going to help you with that cellar, no monopolies allowed in this home sweet home!


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## Coelacanth (Dec 5, 2019)

Room for one more here? I got kicked out of my cave in the east african ocean by the squid next door (the bastard claims I ate his kids but that's not true and if anybody says otherwise they're lying!) and need a new place to stay.


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## Crass_and_Champ (Dec 5, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> I'm going to help you with that cellar, no monopolies allowed in this home sweet home!


I'm all for it, just keep our vintage Bandol in a hard-to-reach corner or I WILL chug them...
Also, can I clean out the abandoned meat locker in sub-basement C? I want to fill it with Italian sausages and smelly cheese.


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## Token Weeaboo (Dec 5, 2019)

Crass_and_Champ said:


> I'm all for it, just keep our vintage Bandol in a hard-to-reach corner or I WILL chug them...
> Also, can I clean out the abandoned meat locker in sub-basement C? I want to fill it with Italian sausages and smelly cheese.


as long as the only mold that's down there is on the cheese, meat is too good to go to waste!


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## Syaoran Li (Dec 5, 2019)

I suppose I'm the only one who regularly mows the lawn and rakes the leaves in the fall at this house.


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 5, 2019)

Syaoran Li said:


> I suppose I'm the only one who regularly mows the lawn and rakes the leaves in the fall at this house.


Nah that's a job for @Mexican_Wizard_711


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## Syaoran Li (Dec 5, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Nah that's a job for @Mexican_Wizard_711



But I'm the one white lawn and garden guy who works as cheaply as the Mexican ones!


----------



## Crass_and_Champ (Dec 5, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> as long as the only mold that's down there is on the cheese, meat is too good to go to waste!


As long as you'll help me roll a huge, stinky wheel of Reblochon into the fridge... the smell should keep home invaders (and fellow kiwis) away. Then we can guzzle ancient bottles of Port deep in the basement.


Syaoran Li said:


> But I'm the one white lawn and garden guy who works as cheaply as the Mexican ones!


White trash Kiwis unite! Wanna sit on the porch and flick cigarette butts at stray dogs?


----------



## Ilackcreativity (Dec 5, 2019)

You can play my video games, but you have to put the games back in there correct cases.


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 6, 2019)

'Suppose I'll be the poor bastard who has to clean the pool. There's always a swimming pool in these kinds of houses.


----------



## Alpacawitz (Dec 6, 2019)

Autisimodo said:


> 'Suppose I'll be the poor bastard who has to clean the pool. There's always a swimming pool in these kinds of houses.


You mean the aquatic litter box?


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 6, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> You mean the aquatic litter box?


If it gets too dirty I'll drain it and use it for skateboarding.


----------



## Milk Mage (Dec 6, 2019)

Okay, which one of you came in my meds? I'm not so much mad as I am confused and also very aroused.


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Dec 6, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> Okay, which one of you came in my meds? I'm not so much mad as I am confused and also very aroused.


You found my gift!


----------



## Turd Burglar (Dec 6, 2019)

I shit in a random shoe I found in the hallway for chao's sake.


----------



## Crass_and_Champ (Dec 6, 2019)

How many floors does this place have? Pretty sure I came across ancient Pictish engravings in sub-basement C. Not that that's a deal-breaker... but we may need to sacrifice a goat at some point.


----------



## LazloChalos (Dec 6, 2019)

I'll wire the place up for LAN, my home will be like a web made out of cables and the autistic spider sitting in the center will be me.

Thw web will be covered with a fine sprinkling of cheeto dust and there will be a fragant musk in the air composed of mountain dew, sweat, urine and semen.


----------



## Pissmaster (Dec 6, 2019)

So.  I turned on my DSLR this morning, only to find that not only were all the videos for my YouTube show that I spent a week filming deleted, but they were replaced with _exactly_ one thousand pictures of testicles.  Different testicles, clearly taken by amateurs, of different shapes, sizes, races, and at least 30 of them were just made out of play-doh, hanging off of assorted vaginas.

What the fuck is wrong with you people?


----------



## ProgKing of the North (Dec 6, 2019)

Crass_and_Champ said:


> but we may need to sacrifice a goat at some point.


Let everyone who wants to fuck it have a turn first, though


----------



## Inflatable Julay (Dec 6, 2019)

*locks myself in bedroom playing hentai at an inappropriate volume*


----------



## Glitched_Humanity (Dec 6, 2019)

Damnit! who let the gay , black clown back in!


----------



## MerriedxReldnahc (Dec 7, 2019)

I built us a skatepark out back! There's even enough room under the quarterpipe for me to make a little hovel to sleep in. The crawlspace under the porch is getting really cramped.


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 7, 2019)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> I built us a skatepark out back!


Oh good, that means I don't need to drain the swimming pool.


Autisimodo said:


> If it gets too dirty I'll drain it and use it for skateboarding.


----------



## Rice Is Ready (Dec 7, 2019)

We only have one TV with a VCR and these are the only movies


----------



## Nurse Ratchet (Dec 7, 2019)

.. what is the lease provision on cows with accounts here? Like Yaniv.. Tooter.. Sockness (×14).. Cowlick.. etc. Do they count as kiwis? And if so.. where do we put them? 

And if no one knows, I'm making a motion that someone builds that death pit from Army of Darkness, installs closed-circuit cameras, gives each of them an olive fork & let them fight to the death.

And the winner gets shot in the head.

....

Also, yeah. I'm Team @Sexy Senior Citizen on the records rule. Don't touch my rekkids.


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 7, 2019)

Nurse Ratchet said:


> .. what is the lease provision on cows with accounts here? Like Yaniv.. Tooter.. Sockness (×14).. Cowlick.. etc. Do they count as kiwis? And if so.. where do we put them?


Imagine the Cowproofing we'll need to undertake if we let them in;

We'll need to lock down the Dumpster so Tooter doesn't raid it for snacks, we'll probably need to burn used tampons/pads so Yaniv doesn't follow suit and steal them out of the trash. And we'll probably want to segregate Sockness and Chris.


----------



## Nurse Ratchet (Dec 7, 2019)

Oh, if we get roommates I call dibbsies on @jenffer a jay &/or @Pargon.


----------



## Botchy Galoop (Dec 7, 2019)

Pull my finger?


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 7, 2019)

Please do not ask about the dead hooker under the floorboards of my room. I have nothing to do with her death, and I don't even know how she got there.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 7, 2019)

HOLY FUCK, WHO LET JONATHAN YANIV IN? HIS SCOOTY PUFF IS ALL HOTTED UP AND IT'S SPEEDING DOWN THE HALL AND ACCELERATING!


----------



## Sexy Senior Citizen (Dec 7, 2019)

Rice Is Ready said:


> We only have one TV with a VCR and these are the only movies
> 
> View attachment 1040157


I fail to see a problem with this.


----------



## Dwight Frye (Dec 7, 2019)

Guys, there's some weird looking dude camping out on our back porch. Says his name is Corbin and one of you fuckers issued him a multipass to stay there. Dude smells like cheap vodka and won't stop hassling me for cigarettes.


----------



## Alpacawitz (Dec 7, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> Please do not ask about the dead hooker under the floorboards of my room. I have nothing to do with her death, and I don't even know how she got there.


Just use the god dam furnace. Body pick up is on Thursdays.


----------



## Nurse Ratchet (Dec 7, 2019)

Nurse Ratchet said:


> Oh, if we get roommates I call dibbsies on @jenffer a jay &/or @Pargon.



Oh oh! Oh! I'm r÷tarded I forgot to lay dibbsies on @BOLDYSPICY! too. We'd make _rockin-ass _roommates. 

And yes, I'm allowed to lay my living arrangement peckertracks on whomever I want because I'm Nurse Ratchet & I can just lobotomize my opposition. 

Also... we're gonna need a dj booth & dancefloor..


----------



## HeraldofNurgle (Dec 7, 2019)

If anyone wants to worship our loving Granpa Nurgle, there's an old bunker in the back. Just look for the rusty metal door built into the side of a hill and come on down. NO WORSHIPERS OF THE FALSE GOD, THE DEAD EMPEROR, ALLOWED.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 7, 2019)

Why is the pantry full of spiders? The fuckers are hairy and the size of my fist.


----------



## Sexy Senior Citizen (Dec 7, 2019)

Autumnal Equinox said:


> Guys, there's some weird looking dude camping out on our back porch. Says his name is Corbin and one of you fuckers issued him a multipass to stay there. Dude smells like cheap vodka and won't stop hassling me for cigarettes.


Sounds like I've got a fucking kid to chase off our lawn. Be back in a moment.


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 8, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> HOLY FUCK, WHO LET JONATHAN YANIV IN? HIS SCOOTY PUFF IS ALL HOTTED UP AND IT'S SPEEDING DOWN THE HALL AND ACCELERATING!


Don't worry, I threw a box of tampons with his name on it outside. Wait for him to go out front and lock the door.

If he rams the door with Scooty Puff, threaten to sue him for damages, that'll scare him off for good.


----------



## Pissmaster (Dec 8, 2019)

Rice Is Ready said:


> We only have one TV with a VCR and these are the only movies
> 
> View attachment 1040157


Somebody already wore both Feeders and Feeders 2 out


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 8, 2019)

Pissmaster General said:


> Somebody already wore both Feeders and Feeders 2 out


Don't worry, that's why Pirate Bay was invented. All we have to do is snatch a little bandwidth from the gamers.


----------



## pierce your heart (Dec 8, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Why is the pantry full of spiders? The fuckers are hairy and the size of my fist.


What's the problem? Spiders are friends.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 8, 2019)

pierce your heart said:


> What's the problem? Spiders are friends.


I never said it was a problem. I just wanted to know why they're there.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 8, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> I never said it was a problem. I just wanted to know why they're there.


Sorry, my bad. I brought them in to get rid of all the fucking cockroaches that keep coming up.


----------



## The Cunting Death (Dec 10, 2019)

I'm sleeping in the closet


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 10, 2019)

Senor Cardgage Mortgage said:


> I'm sleeping in the closet


We all know about you being in the closet.


----------



## The Cunting Death (Dec 10, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> We all know about you being in the closet.


I'm so far in the closet that I'm in Narnia


----------



## LazarusOwenhart (Dec 10, 2019)

I probably have the best vidya collection and I brew my own beer. You wanna hang with me you better have money or pussy.


----------



## Cool kitties club (Dec 10, 2019)

The end goal of this is the feds busting down door turning on the lights and finding disgusting mess of trash, autism, cum, and a dead body or two.


----------



## ProgKing of the North (Dec 11, 2019)

Cool kitties club said:


> The end goal of this is the feds busting down door turning on the lights and finding disgusting mess of trash, autism, cum, and a dead body or two.


But who's the glownigger that sold us out?


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (Dec 11, 2019)

I was gonna fill condoms up with water and throw them at people.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 12, 2019)

I'M BLASTING MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME


----------



## Sundae (Dec 12, 2019)

My room is up in the attic, in a nice little corner full of cool antiques.  My roommate is a Victorian-era gentleman ghost who used to be a doctor, and together we solve mysteries and fight crime.  During our down time, we work on making our own video games, that we will one day publish on Steam and will turn us into millionaires.

Oh, also I went ahead and set up a little emu farm in the backyard.  I hope you guys like emus.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 12, 2019)

Sundae said:


> Oh, also I went ahead and set up a little emu farm in the backyard.  I hope you guys like emus.


They're delicious.

I've started a house library. Mark even a single page of one of these books and consequences will never be the same.


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 12, 2019)

i vote we dedicate a room to keep the trophies of all the cows we've murdered over the years. it'll probably be 90% dilators but i'm pretty sure we've got enough troons to keep them busy.

oh and @Draza for roommies


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 12, 2019)

AlexJonesGotMePregnant said:


> i vote we dedicate a room to keep the trophies of all the cows we've murdered over the years. it'll probably be 90% dilators but i'm pretty sure we've got enough troons to keep them busy.
> 
> oh and @Draza for roommies


Where will we mount the plaques?


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 12, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> Where will we mount the plaques?



i'm not sure and i wouldn't recommend trusting me with a hammer.


----------



## James Howlett (Dec 12, 2019)

*DEAPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!*


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Dec 12, 2019)

James Howlett said:


> *DEAPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!*


get the *FUCK *out of my room!


----------



## Fougaro (Dec 12, 2019)

Guys, the cops are at the door. They say that the neighbours filed an autism complaint.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 12, 2019)

Fougaro said:


> Guys, the cops are at the door. They say that the neighbours filed an autism complaint.


Well now, that could be about anyone of us


----------



## MAPK phosphatase (Dec 12, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> I'M BLASTING MUSIC THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME





Fougaro said:


> Guys, the cops are at the door. They say that the neighbours filed an autism complaint.


----------



## Elysian (Dec 12, 2019)

Kiwi Farms has a mostly male userbase and people leaving the toilet seat up is one of my biggest dumb pet peeves so this living arrangement might actually drive me insane lol


----------



## Stranger Neighbors (Dec 12, 2019)

Nekromantik2 said:


> Just stay out of the basement and ignore the giant freezer.


Church basement!


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 12, 2019)

the basement


----------



## Pina Colada (Dec 12, 2019)

☝ Basement dweller.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 12, 2019)

Pina Colada said:


> ☝ Basement dweller.


fuck u take that back


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Dec 13, 2019)

Monika H. said:


> I feel like I would be that slutty unmarried aunt that goes in and out and gets slightly racist after her third glass of brandy tbh


And how many autistic Kiwis will come up to hit on your anyway? Some may even find you hotter the more racist you get!


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 13, 2019)

James Howlett said:


> *DEAPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!*


*JULAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!*


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Alright, who was humping the blowup doll?


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Dec 13, 2019)

Screaming? From the Kitchen? I think you need your hearing checked, friend.


----------



## TaimuRadiu (Dec 13, 2019)

Will one of you fuckers do the dishes or at least throw away all the empty boxes of hot pockets and empty bottles of fanta? I got company coming over and I want to make us dinner


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Hey, it definitely happened. Someone needs to go and investigate it.


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Dec 13, 2019)

For the last fucking time, I have no idea what happened to the tax attorney down the street. Stop asking.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake said:


> For the last fucking time, I have no idea what happened to the tax attorney down the street. Stop asking.


What happened?


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Dec 13, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> Alright, who was humping the blowup doll?





Army Burger said:


> Hey, it definitely happened. Someone needs to go and investigate it.





Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake said:


> For the last fucking time, I have no idea what happened to the tax attorney down the street. Stop asking.



I'm smelling a conspiracy and a cover up.


----------



## A Welsh Cake (Dec 13, 2019)

who the FUCK ATE ALL MY CRUSHED MILLET. I NEED THAT FOR ALL THE ANIMALS YOU LEAVE IN MY FUCKING ROOM.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Token Weaboo said:


> I'm smelling a conspiracy and a cover up.


We must get to the bottom of this!


----------



## Ellesse_warrior (Dec 13, 2019)

Elevators broke. Which genius decided to house the fattest kiwis on the top floors?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Ellesse_warrior said:


> Elevators broke. Which genius decided to house the fattest kiwis on the top floors?


Wasn't me


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Dec 13, 2019)

A Welsh Cake said:


> who the FUCK ATE ALL MY CRUSHED MILLET. I NEED THAT FOR ALL THE ANIMALS YOU LEAVE IN MY FUCKING ROOM.


You're Welsh. Answer's easy, just ask your gf, m8.


----------



## Alpacawitz (Dec 13, 2019)

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake said:


> You're Welsh. Answer's easy, just ask your gf, m8.


Sheep can't talk dumbass


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Dec 13, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> Sheep can't talk dumbass


Never guaranteed he'd get an answer, dumbass.


----------



## Alpacawitz (Dec 13, 2019)

Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake said:


> Never guaranteed he'd get an answer, dumbass.


Goy, you got me there jew boy. Meet me in the furnace room to receive your prize.


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Dec 13, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> jew boy.


As I'm sure you know, this means war.


----------



## Double Dee (Dec 13, 2019)

Let's be honest, we'd all be shut-ins, especially if we don't have to share a kitchen or bathrooms. Some passing glances of each other, I'm sure, but nah.

Although... we've seen pictures of Null, but we'll never see him in passing if he was with us.

ETA: if you fuckers chip in and we're sharing communal spaces, I'll try and make sure we have groceries. Maybe cook on the weekends for some of us.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> Sheep can't talk dumbass


How do you know that?


----------



## Alpacawitz (Dec 13, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> How do you know that?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 13, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


>


Well, don't just stand there! Tell me!


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 14, 2019)

Hey guys I invited Kengle over for a boiled hamburger party but the police said i'm not allowed to play with fire anymore, can someone please help me out



Elysian said:


> Kiwi Farms has a mostly male userbase and people leaving the toilet seat up is one of my biggest dumb pet peeves so this living arrangement might actually drive me insane lol



some men prefer to sit down


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 14, 2019)

AlexJonesGotMePregnant said:


> Hey guys I invited Kengle over for a boiled hamburger party but the police said i'm not allowed to play with fire anymore, can someone please help me out


No problem. I got you fam.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

Well this sucks


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 14, 2019)

The hooker under my floorboards keeps screaming at night, even though she's been dead for a few days now. Can someone make her shut up? If you need me, I'll be on the 2nd floor kitchen, tending to the spider population, eating or sleeping.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> The hooker under my floorboards keeps screaming at night, even though she's been dead for a few days now. Can someone make her shut up? If you need me, I'll be on the 2nd floor kitchen, tending to the spider population, eating or sleeping.


Just get a good pair of earmuffs, you should be good then.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 14, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> Well this sucks


Don't whine, little bitch, it was only a wing, not the whole house. And @AlexJonesGotMePregnant got her burgers so it works out fine. 

_Someone_ left a _fingerprint_ on one of the books. When I figure out who it was, it's anal rape time with Bad Dragon's finest and biggest.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

the police are on the case


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 14, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> The hooker under my floorboards keeps screaming at night, even though she's been dead for a few days now.


Awesome, the house is now haunted.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

great. just what we needed.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 14, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> the police are on the case


Wait, wait, wait, the police are here? Oh dear god, I have to flush _everything!_


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Wait, wait, wait, the police are here? Oh dear god, I have to flush _everything!_


A royal flush?


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 14, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Wait, wait, wait, the police are here? Oh dear god, I have to flush _everything!_



dude it's too late, they can see right through you


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 14, 2019)

You're the Invisible Man?


----------



## TaimuRadiu (Dec 15, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> The hooker under my floorboards keeps screaming at night, even though she's been dead for a few days now. Can someone make her shut up? If you need me, I'll be on the 2nd floor kitchen, tending to the spider population, eating or sleeping.


I can do it, I just need a long coil of steel and platinum wire and two rather curiously shaped iron clamps.


----------



## Mushroom Soup (Dec 15, 2019)

Everyone gets hugs :>


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 15, 2019)

I like the sounds of that!


----------



## NyQuilninja (Dec 16, 2019)

Dis dam near abounded crack shack seams a fine place to shit post and pop a squat. I got chips and dip peeps


----------



## Pina Colada (Dec 20, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> The hooker under my floorboards keeps screaming at night, even though she's been dead for a few days now. Can someone make her shut up? If you need me, I'll be on the 2nd floor kitchen, tending to the spider population, eating or sleeping.


Leave it all to me! She kept stealing my best fuck-me-boots, anyway.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 20, 2019)

What's going on tonight?


----------



## Botchy Galoop (Dec 20, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> What's going on tonight?


It's the Kiwi House Christmas Party tonight!! A dead hooker shaped package has been left under the tree and the home brewed egg nog has sent several people to the hospital. Let the festivities continue!


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 20, 2019)

Botchy Galoop said:


> It's the Kiwi House Christmas Party tonight!! A dead hooker shaped package has been left under the tree and the home brewed egg nog has sent several people to the hospital. Let the festivities continue!


Alright!


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 21, 2019)

Careful where you dance. Someone has covered the floor with... fluids.


----------



## PlasticOwls (Dec 21, 2019)

Whats the monthly rent, and do the rooms have roaches?


----------



## ProgKing of the North (Dec 21, 2019)

PlasticOwls said:


> Whats the monthly rent, and do the rooms have roaches?


Yours does! 

Rent is payable in blowjobs


----------



## ️ronic (Dec 21, 2019)

Whoever keeps casting PornHub to my television needs to knock it off. While I do appreciate your taste in gay scat pornography, it is highly inappropriate while I'm eating dinner.


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Dec 21, 2019)

Why would a home owner move in with a bunch of neets?


----------



## TaimuRadiu (Dec 21, 2019)

Botchy Galoop said:


> It's the Kiwi House Christmas Party tonight!! A dead hooker shaped package has been left under the tree and the home brewed egg nog has sent several people to the hospital. Let the festivities continue!


You pussies can't take a little ethanol in your eggnog?


----------



## snailslime (Dec 21, 2019)

I hope FuckYou's ghost kills Null with a couch.


----------



## Still Anonymous For This (Dec 21, 2019)

No matter how big or small, how tall or short, or grandiose or poor our home would be, we would all hear the faint cries of Corbin Dallas Multipass banging on the door, *"LET ME IN, LET ME IN."*

RIP.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 21, 2019)

Still Anonymous For This said:


> No matter how big or small, how tall or short, or grandiose or poor our home would be, we would all hear the faint cries of Corbin Dallas Multipass banging on the door, *"LET ME IN, LET ME IN."*
> 
> RIP.


F for CDM


----------



## Botchy Galoop (Dec 21, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> F for CDM


F


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 21, 2019)

Botchy Galoop said:


> F


A

G

G

O

T


----------



## Clockwork_PurBle (Dec 21, 2019)

Tonight, to celebrate the holidays, we watch _National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation _and it gives us some ideas.

What are they?


----------



## Pissmaster (Dec 21, 2019)

Well today I woke up to vomit dripping from my ceiling.  Thank God I wear a sleep mask. 

Why the fuck did I move into this shithole


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 21, 2019)

I'd have to think about that


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 22, 2019)

sorry everyone, the eggnog was my bad

everyone on this site keeps telling other people to drink bleach so i thought it was like a forum secret menu thing so i made the eggnog with bleach instead of milk


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

you fucked up the eggnog?


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 22, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> you fucked up the eggnog?



technically it was bleachnog, tastes the same tho


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

AlexJonesGotMePregnant said:


> technically it was bleachnog, tastes the same tho


are you sure about that?


----------



## Kotaro (Dec 22, 2019)

Who the fuck took all my vanilla-scented body wash?


----------



## Bunny Tracks (Dec 22, 2019)

You know guys, if Corbin's just gonna keep on trying to break into our house then we might as well make it interesting. 

I suggest we build a Wipeout-style obstacle course in the front, and backyard for him to try, and complete before he even makes it to a door.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

It wasn't me


----------



## Damn Near (Dec 22, 2019)

beats living next to my fat neighbor with sleep apnea


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

That must suck


----------



## Kotaro (Dec 22, 2019)

Bunny Tracks said:


> You know guys, if Corbin's just gonna keep on trying to break into our house then we might as well make it interesting.
> 
> I suggest we build a Wipeout-style obstacle course in the front, and backyard for him to try, and complete before he even makes it to a door.


I wholeheartedly support this glorious and definitely not dangerous idea.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

It's worth it


----------



## Sundae (Dec 22, 2019)

Hey guys, I might have a little bit of a problem.  So earlier I went out into the back to check on the little garden I have, specifically to check on some weird radioactive seeds I ordered from some Japanese guy on a shady website, and well, the good news is they're growing, the bad news is they turned into this:





So now I have a giant radioactive mutant plant in my garden and I have no idea what to do.  I asked my ghost roommate and he said to just spray some weedkiller on it, but I don't think that will work.  Any ideas?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

Get a flamethrower


----------



## Kotaro (Dec 22, 2019)

Shut it down, lads.


----------



## ProgKing of the North (Dec 22, 2019)

I know a guy


----------



## Knojkamarangasan_#4 (Dec 22, 2019)

Animal control meetup in the living room on the second floor. Please leave all the fursuit gear near the open fire in the yard. Please be aware that my hiv tests will only last as long as the supply last!

For any further questions ask 
@Quetzalcoatl 

Guns will be allowed but please only shoot  Dylan Haferpten after the dinner, we don’t want any mess on our ramen, thanks!


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

who?


----------



## Ellesse_warrior (Dec 22, 2019)

Sundae said:


> Hey guys, I might have a little bit of a problem.  So earlier I went out into the back to check on the little garden I have, specifically to check on some weird radioactive seeds I ordered from some Japanese guy on a shady website, and well, the good news is they're growing, the bad news is they turned into this:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Teach it to sing.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

Why?


----------



## Large (Dec 22, 2019)

Everyone finally finds out that there is no Joshua Moon.


----------



## GnomeofDoc (Dec 22, 2019)

OK why do we have a roof top pool? And why are there condoms clogging the pump? None of us have sex...


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

GnomeofDoc said:


> OK why do we have a roof top pool? And why are there condoms clogging the pump? None of us have sex...


anal doesn't count to you?


----------



## Sundae (Dec 22, 2019)

Ellesse_warrior said:


> Teach it to sing.



I did, and now it keeps asking to be fed while trying to fight giant radioactive reptiles (skip to 1:15).


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 22, 2019)

well that's an interesting turn of events


----------



## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Dec 23, 2019)

@Army Burger are you the house elf?


----------



## Sundae (Dec 23, 2019)

Would anyone object to the idea of turning one of the spare rooms into an arcade?  I know a guy who has some arcade machines and pinball tables that uh, fell off a truck, and for uh, let's just say tax reasons, he needs to get rid of them.  Soon.  Before the cops locate him.


----------



## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Dec 23, 2019)

I call dibs on the weird guy who lives in a tent shack on the roof with the pigeons


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 23, 2019)

AlexJonesGotMePregnant said:


> @Army Burger are you the house elf?


I'm too tall to be an elf


----------



## A single cheeto (Dec 23, 2019)

I'm making cookies for Christmas


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 23, 2019)

nice! what kinds?


----------



## Double Dee (Dec 23, 2019)

GnomeofDoc said:


> OK why do we have a roof top pool? And why are there condoms clogging the pump? None of us have sex...


Those aren't condoms, they're gum.


----------



## GnomeofDoc (Dec 23, 2019)

Double Dee said:


> Those aren't condoms, they're gum.


Ah my bad


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 23, 2019)

is that so?


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 24, 2019)

I know what to feed the mutant singing plant. Jonathan Yaniv has been hanging round again.


----------



## LazloChalos (Dec 24, 2019)

The first pamphlet is ready

.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

I'm going to fuck the mutant singing plant, wish me luck bros


----------



## Autisimodo (Dec 24, 2019)

Hmm...
> Big house
> Giant mutant plant

Next you'll be telling me there's an underground laboratory that's conducting Bioweapons research located right underneath this very house.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

I like science experiments!


----------



## TaimuRadiu (Dec 24, 2019)

Autisimodo said:


> Hmm...
> > Big house
> > Giant mutant plant
> 
> Next you'll be telling me there's an underground laboratory that's conducting Bioweapons research located right underneath this very house.


like you haven't gotten drunk and fucked around with CRISPR

I mean, what do you think happens to those dead hookers that keep showing up, how do you think I grow that delicious chocolate-tasting algae I've been supplementing our food with, how do you think people keep decomposing into delicious chocolate algae

btw you really want to take the vaccine I made for it, I had to add more thimerosol to it but fuck it you all have autism anyway what's some more


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

When are we starting the experiment?


----------



## DatBepisTho (Dec 24, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> I know what to feed the mutant singing plant. Jonathan Yaniv has been hanging round again.


Please dont give my spaceweed plants indigestion.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

DatBepisTho said:


> Please dont give my spaceweed plants indigestion.


What could result from that?


----------



## DatBepisTho (Dec 24, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> What could result from that?


 Subpar spaceweed or hurt feelings idek it's a science project, man.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 24, 2019)

DatBepisTho said:


> Please dont give my spaceweed plants indigestion.


Well, how the fuck else are we supposed to get rid of Yaniv? We can't get rid of Corbin, we can't even get rid of one fucking dead hooker. You're supposed to be the science man, do something science and science out our garbage disposal problem.


----------



## A single cheeto (Dec 24, 2019)

sorry i was on the phone. anyways im making butter cookies and chocolate chip cookies


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> I'm going to fuck the mutant singing plant, wish me luck bros


UPDATE: coitus with the mutant singing plant has been (relatively) successful
It's now growing rapidly


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> UPDATE: coitus with the mutant singing plant has been (relatively) successful
> It's now growing rapidly


but why though


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

So that's why I woke up in a bed of moss earlier.
But why do my crabs have herpes? They're in a tank!


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 24, 2019)

A_Skellington said:


> So that's why I woke up in a bed of moss earlier.
> But why do my crabs have herpes? They're in a tank!


I never laid a finger on them.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> but why though


because I can


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> because I can


but what about the risks?


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> but what about the risks?


The fact that I did it in spite of them all says enough


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> The fact that I did it in spite of them all says enough


that you're foolish?


----------



## Shibaru (Dec 24, 2019)

Loud Revving can be heard in the garage, seems to be someone pulling up in a 1998 Subaru Impreza 22B.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> that you're foolish?


don't make me sic the dead hooker on you, faggot
speaking of her, she somehow broke out from under the floor last night. she could be anywhere for all I know.


----------



## DatBepisTho (Dec 24, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Well, how the fuck else are we supposed to get rid of Yaniv? We can't get rid of Corbin, we can't even get rid of one fucking dead hooker. You're supposed to be the science man, do something science and science out our garbage disposal problem.


 Did you try setting it on fire?
No wait that's arson.
Okay,fine. Just make sure he's hosed down first.


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> I never laid a finger on them.


What about your junk? You rubbing your nuts on my crabs?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> don't make me sic the dead hooker on you, faggot
> speaking of her, she somehow broke out from under the floor last night. she could be anywhere for all I know.


well done, now we've got to lock our doors


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 24, 2019)

A_Skellington said:


> What about your junk? You rubbing your nuts on my crabs?


I have neither junk nor nuts (and given the venue, I feel I must further emphasise that I am a biological, double XX chromosome, non troon, possessing the appropriate equipment, female) to rub on your crabs. I just wanted to get in early and cross myself off the list of suspects. What with the... unpleasantness... with the spiders and all. A complete misunderstanding.


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

Hold on, there's spiders with herpes on my crabs now?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

oh no


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 24, 2019)

which one of you cunts has been fucking the spiders I introduced to this ecosystem
I know it's one of the homos, because otherwise the spiders wouldn't have herpes


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

fucking spiders?


----------



## Captain Communism (Dec 24, 2019)

Good lord, maybe they aren't spiders, they're his remote control units, and he's a strange robot made for Alex Jones so he could make the American World his.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

oh no


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

My poor crabs...


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

A GIANT ENEMY CRAB


----------



## Kotaro (Dec 24, 2019)

Oh god oh fuck


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

_*FEAR MY CRABS *_


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

rock croc


----------



## Ziltoid (Dec 24, 2019)

Can you faggots please stop dilating at the same time? No wonder there's shit everywhere!


----------



## Cheemsburbger (Dec 24, 2019)

Who the fuck took my Pepsi?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

bepis


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

Cheemsburbger said:


> Who the fuck took my Pepsi?


Me. Sup, nigga?


----------



## Cheemsburbger (Dec 24, 2019)

A_Skellington said:


> Me. Sup, nigga?


Fucking give it back, faggot


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

Nope. You gave my murder crab herpes.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

I don't want crabs aids


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

Too late


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

No


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 24, 2019)

You are the crab aids.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

oh no


----------



## Milk Mage (Dec 24, 2019)

I just found a dead hooker in my bed. Normally, that wouldn't be anything to worry about, accidents happen after all. The problem is that she won't stop bleeding. Like, a lot. Which is weird, because I think she's been dead for a while. I've moved her to the tub, but she's already flooded the bathroom. So can anyone spare some paper towels? I just ran out.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 24, 2019)

you don't have any shams?


----------



## Milk Mage (Dec 24, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> you don't have any shams?


I'm not paying $10 for a towel. I don't even pay that much in rent.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> I'm not paying $10 for a towel. I don't even pay that much in rent.


You mean you actually pay rent?


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 25, 2019)

MilkMage said:


> I just found a dead hooker in my bed. Normally, that wouldn't be anything to worry about, accidents happen after all. The problem is that she won't stop bleeding. Like, a lot. Which is weird, because I think she's been dead for a while. I've moved her to the tub, but she's already flooded the bathroom. So can anyone spare some paper towels? I just ran out.


Run, you poor soul. That bitch ain't dead, but she wants us to be.


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 25, 2019)

That hooker is just dilating with a mace in her boy cooter. 
On that note, has anyone seen my battle-axe?
I gotta rescue my murder crabs.


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

A_Skellington said:


> That hooker is just dilating with a mace in her boy cooter.
> On that note, has anyone seen my battle-axe?
> I gotta rescue my murder crabs.







They don't need you, they're doing perfectly well by themselves. They're also headed this way, so maybe we should think about running now.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Dec 25, 2019)

Just sic the mutant plant on 'em. Let's see how those crustacean bitches feel when we genocide their asses.


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 25, 2019)

genocide? in our house?


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

Why, is there something wrong with that?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 25, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Why, is there something wrong with that?


Depending on the circumstances I might take issue with it


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> Depending on the circumstances I might take issue with it


Hmm. Well, I guess you just never know with some people...


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 25, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> Hmm. Well, I guess you just never know with some people...


hmmm...


----------



## Sundae (Dec 25, 2019)

Merry Christmas everybody!  I made plenty of eggnog and gingerbread men, so help yourselves to some!










My ghost roommate tried making some gingerbread men, but they came out a little, well, weird...


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

The last lot of eggnog sent a lot of people to the hospital. Maybe we should try feeding it to the crabs?


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 25, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> The last lot of eggnog sent a lot of people to the hospital. Maybe we should try feeding it to the crabs?


Are you sure that's a good idea?


----------



## glass_houses (Dec 25, 2019)

Army Burger said:


> Are you sure that's a good idea?


_FFS are you ever happy?_


----------



## Army Burger (Dec 25, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> _FFS are you ever happy?_


I just don't want a tricky situation developing


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 25, 2019)

Why you do this phone ignore double post


----------



## A_Skellington (Dec 25, 2019)

glass_houses said:


> The last lot of eggnog sent a lot of people to the hospital. Maybe we should try feeding it to the crabs?



Nope.


----------



## Dysnomia (Dec 25, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Whoever keeps hanging the toilet paper backwards is getting raped and murdered, possibly in that order



How did you know my fetish?


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Jan 3, 2020)

Was the beer bottles ever cleaned up after the new years party?


----------



## Alpacawitz (Jan 3, 2020)

Token Weaboo said:


> Was the beer bottles ever cleaned up after the new years party?


You mean the garbage bags of toilet wine? We ain't rich enough for that fancy bottled beer.


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Jan 3, 2020)

Mein Garten said:


> You mean the garbage bags of toilet wine? We ain't rich enough for that fancy bottled beer.


I thought we were cheap enough for boxed beer though


----------



## Pizza Time (Jan 3, 2020)

Delivery! Hey this is a pretty nice place you got here.


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

what's there to drink?


----------



## Alpacawitz (Jan 3, 2020)

Token Weaboo said:


> I thought we were cheap enough for boxed beer though


No, just baker's yeast and garbage grapes.


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

The Tommy Tooter special?


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Jan 3, 2020)

Pizza Time said:


> Delivery! Hey this is a pretty nice place you got here.


Get your ass in here, this is a robbery and rape.


----------



## Pizza Time (Jan 3, 2020)

Token Weaboo said:


> Get your ass in here, this is a robbery and rape.


A-Are you gonna pay for the pizza?


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Jan 3, 2020)

Pizza Time said:


> A-Are you gonna pay for the pizza?


What do you think the rape is for?


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

fuck for pizza?


----------



## Pizza Time (Jan 3, 2020)

You're lucky rape is my fetish. Mr. Aziz is gonna be mad if I'm not back within 20 minutes though, so make it quick.


----------



## Stasi (Jan 3, 2020)

I thought this was a thread about the kiwi farms version of the final fantasy house. I'm sorely disappointed.


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Jan 3, 2020)

Pizza Time said:


> You're lucky rape is my fetish. Mr. Aziz is gonna be mad if I'm not back within 20 minutes though, so make it quick.


I'm not called the half second hero for nothin!


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

Heroes? here?


----------



## Self-hating troon (Jan 3, 2020)

Fuck the jannies, they are braindead niggers.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Jan 3, 2020)

*Lights cigarette*


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

smoking


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Jan 3, 2020)

Ok, so I'm moving in to whatever room is closet to the main power line. Don't ask about the chemicals, the vaguely human shaped stains, the chanting, the pulsating and cursing exterior door, where all the Cray X-MP's running Temple OS came from or why they're arranged in those exceedingly specific patterns, the suspiciously high power use, the glowing orb on my desk in the Faraday Cage or why you think it's asking you to "free" it (Whatever that means, you don't even really know what free means do you?), how I've managed to fit a Serum & Genetics Laboratory in a broom closet, why the "Pestilence" Horseman of the Apocalypse is following me or what he keeps whispering in my ear, why you can see him and have the knowledge that's who he his. It's just kind of the deal when I move in.

It's a lot I know, but in exchange I do excellent brickwork and I can cook quite well.


----------



## the towers (Jan 3, 2020)

i drink all the 4lokos in the fridge and pass out on the coffee table


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Jan 3, 2020)

Shit, well I'm smoking a bowl and drinking absinthe in the Parlor then. Wait, do we have a parlor?


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

We could use some good masonry


----------



## Strayserval (Jan 3, 2020)

Why has no one told me the toilet's where clogged, how long have they been like that?


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

Who did that? These are industrial strength toilets!


----------



## ️ronic (Jan 3, 2020)

Strayserval said:


> Why has no one told me the toilet's where clogged, how long have they been like that?


heheheheh


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 3, 2020)

You fucker


----------



## glass_houses (Jan 3, 2020)

The spiders and the cockroaches have formed a union- Exoskeletons for Evolutionary Excellence- and are demanding to speak to our leader. What do I tell them?


----------



## mindlessobserver (Jan 3, 2020)

glass_houses said:


> The spiders and the cockroaches have formed a union- Exoskeletons for Evolutionary Excellence- and are demanding to speak to our leader. What do I tell them?



Tell them the landlord won't dein to speak to them unless they convince Amberlynn to do an insect based Mukbang.


----------



## Sexy Senior Citizen (Jan 3, 2020)

_What did I tell you fucking kids about pissing on the lawn?
_


----------



## glass_houses (Jan 3, 2020)

Sexy Senior Citizen said:


> _What did I tell you fucking kids about pissing on the lawn?
> _


Tits out?


----------



## TV's Adam West (Jan 4, 2020)

Stay out of my office I'm doing police work.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Jan 4, 2020)

*Smears ketchup on a slice of bread*
*Puts Swiss cheese and cut up ham on bread*
*Adds a single shake of dried parsley*
*Heats up oven to 218c*
*Bakes bread*


----------



## HollaGemini (Jan 4, 2020)

Hey guys I just got a pet bird, its not very nice but its gonna guard the house for us.
Anyone want to play with it? Its gotten ahold of me a few times and I need a break.


----------



## the towers (Jan 4, 2020)

HollaGemini said:


> Hey guys I just got a pet bird, its not very nice but its gonna guard the house for us.
> Anyone want to play with it? Its gotten ahold of me a few times and I need a break.



... hey, so, hypothetically, if i was on my period, and confused this "bird", as you call it, with an esoteric dildo...

... you wouldn't be mad, right...?


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Jan 4, 2020)

Y’all want Pizza Toast?


----------



## Sexy Senior Citizen (Jan 4, 2020)

glass_houses said:


> Tits out?


No! I said if you piss on the lawn, you're cutting the grass!


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 4, 2020)

pizza toast yes


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Jan 5, 2020)

Army Burger said:


> pizza toast yes


Then follow this instruction.


Cedric_Eff said:


> *Smears ketchup on a slice of bread*
> *Puts Swiss cheese and cut up ham on bread*
> *Adds a single shake of dried parsley*
> *Heats up oven to 218c*
> *Bakes bread*


Remember to bake it for 10 minutes.


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 5, 2020)

Who fucked up the ratings here?


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Jan 5, 2020)

Army Burger said:


> Who fucked up the ratings here?




On another note, has anyone seen a case of Pink panther brand insulation being pulled around by a hellspawn? Just corral it into a corner if you do and leave a cross in front, it should stay confused until I get back.


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 5, 2020)

The 8 of Spades said:


> View attachment 1084076
> 
> On another note, has anyone seen a case of Pink panther brand insulation being pulled around by a hellspawn? Just corral it into a corner if you do and leave a cross in front, it should stay confused until I get back.


fucking null


----------



## glass_houses (Jan 5, 2020)

All right, who's the the soon to be death motherfucker who stole all my tea?


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 5, 2020)

I have my own, no need for me to steal


----------



## Rafal Gan Ganowicz (Jan 5, 2020)

Monika H. said:


> I feel like I would be that slutty unmarried aunt that goes in and out and gets slightly racist after her third glass of brandy tbh


You're for me. Want to procreate?


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 5, 2020)

sex? in this house?


----------



## The 3rd Hooligan (Jan 5, 2020)

Guys im trying to fucking sleep. Go find yourselves another room, or atleast another bed


----------



## Army Burger (Jan 5, 2020)

My room is soundproofed


----------



## Pissmaster (Jun 14, 2020)

This house is now in the CHAZ


----------



## Coffee Shits (Jun 14, 2020)

Which one of you fucks ate my god damn Hot Pocket?!


----------



## Army Burger (Jun 14, 2020)

Pissmaster said:


> This house is now in the CHAZ


oh fuck that


----------



## pierce your heart (Jun 14, 2020)

Army Burger said:


> oh fuck that


You are right fuck that, me and my homies are taking over!


----------



## Army Burger (Jun 14, 2020)

Just leave me be


----------



## Double Dee (Jun 14, 2020)

You guys want some breakfast burritos? With all this shit going down, a decent morning meal sounds good. Or I can make pancakes, whatever works.


----------



## Army Burger (Jun 14, 2020)

Double Dee said:


> You guys want some breakfast burritos? With all this shit going down, a decent morning meal sounds good. Or I can make pancakes, whatever works.


I'm down for some good food


----------



## glass_houses (Jun 14, 2020)

Double Dee said:


> You guys want some breakfast burritos? With all this shit going down, a decent morning meal sounds good. Or I can make pancakes, whatever works.


Make me some waffles, there's a good bitch.


----------



## Sammy (Jun 14, 2020)

:sits in the walls chewing pot leaves and leftover mcnuggets and cleaning my whiskers:


----------



## Milk Mage (Jun 14, 2020)

Which one of you dipshits filled my dab carts with cum?


----------



## Vlinny-kun (Jun 14, 2020)

I come out of my room for a drink for two seconds and I see this shit.

Who are you people and what the fuck are you doing in my house?


----------



## Maskull (Jun 18, 2020)

SOMEONE HAS BEEN JERKING OFF INTO MY TOPICAL CREAM


----------



## TANK JESUS (Jun 19, 2020)

Maskull said:


> SOMEONE HAS BEEN JERKING OFF INTO MY TOPICAL CREAM


ur fault


----------

