# IT'S TIME TO DECLARE WAR ON GEESE!



## NARPASSWORD (Jan 16, 2017)

These fowl creatures have overstayed their welcome, literally shitting up every place that they go, blocking traffic, and making the sound of Satan's orgasms!
We must unite to stop these feathered terrorists!
Whose with me?


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## OwO What's This? (Jan 16, 2017)

fuck geese


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## The Fool (Jan 16, 2017)

OwO What's This? said:


> fuck geese



At least one third of the farms would


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## Bassomatic (Jan 16, 2017)

I can't tell you the amount of times I'm on my deck and hear their screeching honk and the desire to grab the 870 runs in my head.

Fuck those little poop factories with wings.


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## Womacker (Jan 16, 2017)

Let's just send the geese to Syria. If people eat them then geese die, if they eat people, then we still win.


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## Intelligent Calcium (Jan 16, 2017)

Never start a war you can't win.


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## Power Word Birb (Jan 16, 2017)

FINALLY someone is willing to call it what it is: radical geese terrorism. In a few months so-called 'Canadian' geese will be surging over our borders, bringing crime, disease, and disgraceful public shitting to our home and native land. Who are these geese? Are they actually Canadian? We have no idea, because according to the government it's 'too difficult' and 'also insane' to require geese to carry passports and pass background checks.

Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'm going to demand proper identification from every goose I see, and damn the consequences to hell.


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## Todesfurcht (Jan 16, 2017)

I did God's work...


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## AA 102 (Jan 16, 2017)

Power Word Birb said:


> FINALLY someone is willing to call it what it is: radical geese terrorism. In a few months so-called 'Canadian' geese will be surging over our borders, bringing crime, disease, and disgraceful public shitting to our home and native land. Who are these geese? Are they actually Canadian? We have no idea, because according to the government it's 'too difficult' and 'also insane' to require geese to carry passports and pass background checks.
> 
> Well, I'm not going to stand for it. I'm going to demand proper identification from every goose I see, and damn the consequences to hell.


Hopefully Trump will cease all geese from entering the country.


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## The Fool (Jan 16, 2017)

dannyfrickenp said:


> Hopefully Trump will cease all geese from entering the country.



That's a really high wall. I hope Mexico has the money for it.


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## AA 102 (Jan 16, 2017)

The Fool said:


> That's a really high wall. I hope Mexico has the money for it.


They'd better. We can't have this country running afowl.


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## The Queen of Trash (Jan 16, 2017)

Geese killed my father and raped my wife. 

It's time for revenge.


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## day_man (Jan 16, 2017)

These bastards have fucking teeth on their tongue


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## alex_theman (Jan 16, 2017)




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## Power Word Birb (Jan 16, 2017)

The Fool said:


> That's a really high wall. I hope Mexico has the money for it.



No, Canada will pay for it, and build it! We'll build it out of weak apologies and polite racism, the two things we excel at best!


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## XYZpdq (Jan 17, 2017)

Geese fucking suck. I had a bunch of waterfowl in the neighborhood I grew up in. Muscovy ducks and geese are the biggest assholes ever.


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## Joy-Sama (Jan 17, 2017)

Yeah! You're right! Fuck Geese





 Howard, 
he ruined Southtown! He's an ass of a final boss!


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## Mimic (Jan 17, 2017)

I'm with you. Let's fuck 'em up.


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## WireSponge (Jan 17, 2017)

> While most living birds are monogamous, at least for a breeding season, many Galloanserae are notoriously polygynous or polygamous. To ornithologists, this is particularly well known in dabbling ducks, where the males literally band together occasionally to "gang rape" unwilling females.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fowl

Everybody hide your kids, they're forming rape gangs.


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## QB 290 (Jan 17, 2017)

KOS guys


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## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2017)

You cannot stop Geese









Alpha Loves You said:


> View attachment 177466
> KOS guys


What about Swans? I'd say they're even worse that any goose.


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## CWCchange (Jan 18, 2017)

The U.S. should allow killing Canadian Geese and Muscovy Ducks like cockroaches and rats, and all restaurants should be given tax breaks to have these fucks on their menu. Hell, you could solve world hunger with their meat.

We don't have Canadian Geese down here in Florida, but another Canadian invasive species called snowbirds. Maybe they pay taxes and help with the seasonal economy but every time I'm stuck in traffic behind a snowback with an Ontario licence plate on the road, I lose a good chunk of my life expectancy.


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## millais (Jan 18, 2017)

Every time the animal rights lovers bitch about my enthusiasm for pate foie gras, I remind them that it's God's way of recompensing us for creating the Canadian goose.


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## Positron (Jan 18, 2017)

As a PhD in Gander Studies, I must reeeeeeeeeeeeee (or rather hoooooooooonk) in protest.


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## CleverJokeHere (Jan 18, 2017)

If only we could trade the world's geese for their combined body weight in bees. Humanity would be saved!


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## XYZpdq (Jan 18, 2017)

CWCchange said:


> like cockroaches and rats, and all restaurants should be given tax breaks to have these fucks on their menu.


They're about as appetizing as cockroaches and rats.


CWCchange said:


> We don't have Canadian Geese down here in Florida,


We do when some crazy old fuck imports a few to live in the drainage canals in the middle of the complex.


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## Sailor_Jupiter (Jan 18, 2017)

Goose are tasty.

Let's eat 'em.


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## GotMeWrong (Jan 18, 2017)

Can we add ducks, too?  Ducks are real assholes.


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## Tranhuviya (Jan 18, 2017)

The one really tramautic childhood memory I have? A bunch of Canadian Geese chasing me and screaming at me.


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## Positron (Jan 18, 2017)

GotMeWrong said:


> Can we add ducks, too?  Ducks are real assholes.


Swans are the worst.


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## NARPASSWORD (Jan 20, 2017)

Joy-Sama said:


> Yeah! You're right! Fuck Geese
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Turbo Sex Bat 7000 (Jan 20, 2017)

I raise geese.  They are very practical, in that they don't die in droves like chickens, and they are very tasty.  They are jerks though.  Visitors are more afraid of them then the guardian dogs.


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## Idi Amin IRL (Jan 20, 2017)

My faggot room-mate was mad when I came home with my dad from hunting geese. My dad tears out the breast and throws the rest to the dogs. Room-mate was like "that's disrespectful to nature, wasting perfectly good meat".

So I gave that patchouli smelling ultimate frisbee manbun a gutted  and plucked carcass,  and told him "knock yourself out". So he tried to fry the drum sticks. Nope. They were too tough. He put them in a crock pot and left them in there over night. My place stank bad, like gamey as fuck.

Two days later  in the crock and they still had the consistency of Chuck Taylor soles minus the taste.


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## DumbDosh (Feb 10, 2017)




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## sapir&worf (Feb 10, 2017)

My dog killed a goose the other day. She's just a puppy and she wanted to play with it but she snapped its neck accidentally.


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## Idi Amin IRL (Feb 10, 2017)

CWCchange said:


> Canadian Canadian Canadian



Canada geese. And you can't solve world hunger with them. Pull out the breasts and chuck the rest. My dad shoots them and mom tried to cook the drumsticks in a slow cooker.

3 days later the drumsticks were about the consistency of Converse All Stars (Chucks, if you're baller like me).

I killed a Canada goose with my field hockey stick once. Bitch put her head down and charged me and I destroyed that skeezer with an overhand slug to the top of its brain.

NAMASTE

EDIT: damn I got high as fuck on dabs and forgot that shit up there. 

There's a lot of those geese here btw, like more than 5


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## Pina Colada (Feb 10, 2017)

Not good, guys! They've upped their ante!


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## Begemot (Feb 10, 2017)

I'm pretty sure these creatures are worse than cassowaries. I've never met any before and I'm quite glad.


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## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Feb 18, 2017)

My mom found that slingshot with small ice cubes does the trick if you target the area around them.


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## Bluebird (Feb 19, 2017)

@yawning sneasel


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## AnOminous (Feb 19, 2017)

Geese are shitty ill-tempered monsters and virtually worthless for meat.  Plus if you cook goose indoors you will never get the thin layer of grease off every wall within 50 feet.  

Muscovy ducks are almost as bad.

Normal ducks are fine, though.  Why would you hate normal ducks?  Much of them is even edible.


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## GS 281 (Feb 19, 2017)

Geese are horrible, violent birds


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## Mariposa Electrique (Feb 19, 2017)

yawning sneasel said:


> Geese are horrible, violent birds








We should train them to take down people who need a safe space.


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## ES 148 (Feb 19, 2017)

Spoiler: Memories of Geese



A family friend keeps geese, and when I was younger I loved to sit on the back doorstep and listen to them (there were only about two, if I remember) hiss at me. This would often go on for almost the whole visit.
Proof that geese are cowards and won't even fight weedy primary school children - alternatively, proof that geese have a moral code and won't harm younglings.


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## DatBepisTho (Feb 19, 2017)

My parents had them and shit, son, if they aren't louder and nastier than peacocks and chickens combined. Shittier attitudes too, but they're cowards if you bow up to them while they're doing their threat display.

Like certain lolcows, you have to call their bluff.


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