# Idea to Make KF Money



## Gym Leader Elesa (May 16, 2017)

Make it possible for users to know that they've been tagged in the supporters subforum even if they haven't paid for anything yet so they'll know people have been talking shit about them and they'll be really curious and thus likely to start spending the big bucks on supporters status.


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## Maiden-TieJuan (May 17, 2017)

How about selling "Kiwi Farms ruined my life" t shirts?  They think they are fighting back against the meanie kiwis and webget free advertising when people want to thank us all for it.  Win win.


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## HG 400 (May 17, 2017)

How about renting @Melchett out?


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## POWER IN MISERY (May 17, 2017)

KF rap album


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 17, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> How about renting @Melchett out?



I don't think anyone would pay for that.


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## HG 400 (May 17, 2017)

Gym Leader Elesa said:


> I don't think anyone would pay for that.



http://www.portapotty.net/rental/


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## OtterParty (May 17, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> http://www.portapotty.net/rental/


their rental value drops considerably when they acquire the permanent aroma of _eu de chav_


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## cuddle striker (May 17, 2017)

kiwi color fidget spinners. you'll get rich.

charge people to give/get more than a certain number of ratings.

charge ten bucks if they wanna use a cartoon avatar.


edit actually fuck all that, charge twenty grand to hide a thread for six months. totally hide it from the public and the forum.


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## BILLY MAYS (May 17, 2017)

give handies


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## Broken Pussy (May 17, 2017)

Gym Leader Elesa said:


> Make it possible for users to know that they've been tagged in the supporters subforum even if they haven't paid for anything yet so they'll know people have been talking shit about them and they'll be really curious and thus likely to start spending the big bucks on supporters status.



It worked on Calooby.


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## Sanshain (May 17, 2017)

Maiden-TieJuan said:


> How about selling "Kiwi Farms ruined my life" t shirts?  They think they are fighting back against the meanie kiwis and webget free advertising when people want to thank us all for it.  Win win.



I would quite honestly buy one of these just for the novelty value.


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## D.Va (May 17, 2017)

here's an idea: pay $5 to change your own user title, $5 to change other people's avatars, $9.95 to view old threads, $4.95 to remove ads, $7.95 for a name change, $9.95 to register, $29.95 to add a new forum smilie, $9.95 to access the site search,


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## CatParty (May 17, 2017)

just sell our content to clickbait sites. all the meme pages do it


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## Maiden-TieJuan (May 17, 2017)

Forever Sunrise said:


> I would quite honestly buy one of these just for the novelty value.


We could have a drawkiwi design a picture of a murderous kiwi bird with a mouse dripping with blood standing over the bludgeoned body of OPL.  I would buy a few just to make my kids wear them in public.


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## MrTroll (May 17, 2017)

Sell a Kiwi Farms season pass that includes all the DLC.


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## OwO What's This? (May 18, 2017)

when XenForo 2 is out Null is gonna have a lot of ways to generate revenue

as an example he's spoken of expanding the sticker system and selling sticker packs and I know I'd personally eat that shit up


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 18, 2017)

Have we considered restarting chattel slavery and using that revenue to fund the site? If we opened up an operation a little ways outside of Gulfport or Biloxi it would probably be decades before the authorities admit they noticed and the FBI forced them to investigate. Or we could just call it sharecropping?


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## An Ghost (May 18, 2017)

D.Va said:


> here's an idea: pay $5 to change your own user title, $5 to change other people's avatars, $9.95 to view old threads, $4.95 to remove ads, $7.95 for a name change, $9.95 to register, $29.95 to add a new forum smilie, $9.95 to access the site search,


I think that's the goal of GBP and dindus, which the link exists to buy them with cash but goes nowhere. It's just Null died before it could be finished.


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## Deadpool (May 20, 2017)

Gym Leader Elesa said:


> I don't think anyone would pay for that.


I'd pay to rent @Melchett as long as i'm not liable for any damages upon return.


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## Kiwi Jeff (May 21, 2017)

How about starting a literal kiwi farm?


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## Broken Pussy (May 21, 2017)

OwO What's This? said:


> when XenForo 2 is out Null is gonna have a lot of ways to generate revenue
> 
> as an example he's spoken of expanding the sticker system and selling sticker packs and I know I'd personally eat that shit up



I like stickers!


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## Strelok (May 22, 2017)

Kindap lolcows and put them in a zoo and charge tickets.


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## Mr. 0 (May 27, 2017)

dress in skimpy outfit and deal adderall to those college kids at double whatever it goes for in pensacola


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## Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. (May 27, 2017)

Well, as I see it, there's two popular options:
-The ED model. Gradually apply onclick ads and constant appeals for donations to every page, link, and image, to the point that it impedes the overall function of the website. Make sure half your advertisers are shilling weird "hide from the guvment" shit or barnyard porn in order to cater to the interests of your increasingly batshit userbase. Periodically have the site go down anyways, and don't forget to crowdfund a legal defense after you fuck up and get sued.

-The SA Model. Similar to above, but this time take it so far that your increasingly mercenary attitude offends even your users, who flee your once-great empire in droves until only the dregs remain. Go through a series of restructurings until you've fundamentally altered what the site is and does, then ride the patchwork Frankenstein monster you've created as long as possible, ineptly milking it until it eventually implodes.

Or we could do the Oh Internet thing where Null could scrub the site of everything that makes it good in a vain attempt to make it marketable.


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## ICametoLurk (May 27, 2017)

Sell @KatsuKitty, @Feline Darkmage, and all other trannies into slavery.


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## Un Platano (May 28, 2017)

Gym Leader Elesa said:


> Make it possible for users to know that they've been tagged in the supporters subforum even if they haven't paid for anything yet so they'll know people have been talking shit about them and they'll be really curious and thus likely to start spending the big bucks on supporters status.


Sounds like a good opportunity for me to charge $15 to distribute screencaps of every thread there


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## AnOminous (May 28, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> Sell @KatsuKitty, @Feline Darkmage, and all other trannies into slavery.



Don't sell them, you can only do that once.  Pimp them out to the degenerate userbase.


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## The Kebab and Calculator (May 28, 2017)

But then there are always people like this to be harvested:



ketchup. said:


> Long story - short...
> 
> I got banned from Offtopic.com and a banned member called XERQ created his own forum called https://xerq.io so I joined until my OT ban was lifted.
> 
> ...


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## Ol' Slag (May 30, 2017)

Would teespring ever give us a shot on merchandise or would people write them till they said "fuck it" and pulled the merch?


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## Zarkov (May 30, 2017)

I would totally buy some Kiwi Farms T-Shirts tbh.


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## Poor Choices (May 30, 2017)

Use content to make an _Internet's Dumbest Users _coffeetable book. Just replace dox with pseudonyms and identifying pics with artists recreations. 100% based on actual events for your appetite losing needs.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Jun 4, 2017)

What if we could pay @Null to turn on rating alerts for certain users?


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## BadaBadaBoom (Jun 4, 2017)

I'd still pay real money for that vaporwave Samuel Collingwood Smith bust shirt.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Jun 18, 2017)

PLEASE READ! A PERSONAL APPEAL FROM @Null FOUNDER OF KIWI FARMS!


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## Tookie (Jun 18, 2017)

https://www.ssa.gov/disabilityssi/


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## Curt Sibling (Jun 19, 2017)

I'd buy a Kiwi teeshirt in less than a millisecond.


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## Pac (Jun 30, 2017)




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## Kiwi Jeff (Jun 30, 2017)

I don't know why people think Kiwi Platinum isn't a thing.


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## Tom Spring (Jul 2, 2017)

@Null - I'm willing to pay a few bucks to increase the filesize limit on my avatar


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## Null (Jul 2, 2017)

Tom Spring said:


> @Null - I'm willing to pay a few bucks to increase the filesize limit on my avatar


It's already 256KB, how much do you need?


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## Doc Cassidy (Jul 2, 2017)

We could all contribute to a grow op and make bank when we sell the weed. Or we could buy steal motorcycles and carry out assassinations in exchange for bitcoins, that would be fun.


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## Pikimon (Jul 2, 2017)

Microtransactions.

Buy 50 Kiwi Koins for 5 Dollars in order to post in the ADF, Wu, and CWC forums. Each post is 1 Kiwi Koin, a shitpost is 5 Kiwi Koins.


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## Null (Jul 2, 2017)

Pikimon said:


> 5 Kiwi Koins


5 Reichmarks


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## GS 281 (Jul 2, 2017)

Doc Cassidy said:


> We could all contribute to a grow op and make bank when we sell the weed. Or we could buy steal motorcycles and carry out assassinations in exchange for bitcoins, that would be fun.


@Yellow Shirt Guy is a known car thief in Western Michigan.


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## Andrew Noel Schaefer (Jul 2, 2017)

Sell our own soda flavored with kiwis. We can call it coke zero


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## Doc Cassidy (Jul 2, 2017)

yawning sneasel said:


> @Yellow Shirt Guy is a known car thief in Western Michigan.


I've downloaded a movie before which is basically the same thing as stealing a car. We really need to get a Kiwi organized crime syndicate together, with members all over the world we'd be a force to be reckoned with. 

We could even call ourselves the Kiwis so interpol would think we're New Zealand based and never find us. It's the perfect plan.


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## Tom Spring (Jul 2, 2017)

Null said:


> It's already 256KB, how much do you need?



Whatever's reasonable for $5 I guess, though at least 2MB would be good.

There's been a couple gifs I've wanted to use and cbf trying to optimise them down to 256KB.


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## Null (Jul 2, 2017)

I'm not going to let people upload fucking 2MB GIFs for avatars dude, that's dumb.


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## Tom Spring (Jul 2, 2017)

Null said:


> I'm not going to let people upload fucking 2MB GIFs for avatars dude, that's dumb.



Lol fair enough, I barely post anyway so it doesn't bother me. Was just an idea for another add-on along with supporter status.


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## Clownfish (Sep 17, 2017)

This a website of folks who are good at finding information on things and folks.

Have Null be the contact for people who want something looked up. 

Let say I want more information on Nixon but can't find anything interesting. Or I want to know more about a community. Contact null and ask for a research request. If accepted the task gets posted on the forums and first one who provides goods gets a cut.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Sep 17, 2017)

Clownfish said:


> This a website of folks who are good at finding information on things and folks.
> 
> Have Null be the contact for people who want something looked up.
> 
> Let say I want more information on Nixon but can't find anything interesting. Or I want to know more about a community. Contact null and ask for a research request. If accepted the task gets posted on the forums and first one who provides goods gets a cut.


This idea is Dildo's but fuck I'd watch a show called 'Kiwi: P.I'


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## ICametoLurk (Sep 25, 2017)

@Null 

Use your avatar to trick people into believing your a woman and sell ur pee bottles
https://translate.google.com/transl...lotte-sale.buzzodrome.org/category/pipi-urine


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 12, 2017)

Make a sexy calendar for the girl and gay kiwis called " The Men of Kiwi Farms".


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## SaltAndGoldMine (Nov 12, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Make a sexy calendar for the girl and gay kiwis called " The Men of Kiwi Farms".


That, but also include Chase Carmichael wearing an American -flag-styled thong in every month.
_Not that we would be able to see it._


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## Doc Cassidy (Nov 15, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Make a sexy calendar for the girl and gay kiwis called " The Men of Kiwi Farms".


I'll do it for the sake of the site but only if I can pose nude.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 15, 2017)

Doc Cassidy said:


> I'll do it for the sake of the site but only if I can pose nude.


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## Uncle Warren (Nov 15, 2017)

Null said:


> I'm not going to let people upload fucking 2MB GIFs for avatars dude, that's dumb.


Bison Dollars.


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## Rhysuu (Nov 16, 2017)

Has @Null considered a partnership with Mountain Dew? Think about it, you could have codes on the bottom of the caps that users can redeem on www.kiwifarms.net to get one hour boost where they receive double ratings. This way they can drink their Dew and then hop on here to post. Hell, you could even inform the other users of someone's boost by putting a rainbow flashing autism puzzle piece under their name, that way other posters will be jealous and will seek out Mountain Dew of their own.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 16, 2017)

Rhysuu said:


> Has @Null considered a partnership with Mountain Dew? Think about it, you could have codes on the bottom of the caps that users can redeem on www.kiwifarms.net to get one hour boost where they receive double ratings. This way they can drink their Dew and then hop on here to post. Hell, you could even inform the other users of someone's boost by putting a rainbow flashing autism puzzle piece under their name, that way other posters will be jealous and will seek out Mountain Dew of their own.


I would drink mountain dew for that


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## FierceBrosnan (Nov 16, 2017)

Doc Cassidy said:


> I'll do it for the sake of the site but only if I can pose nude.



Seconding this. An all nude men of Kiwi Farms calendar. I call August for my month.


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## Doug_Hitzel (Nov 16, 2017)

Create a “humble bundle” alternative. 
Call it something kiwi-related, like “steamy kiwi” or something. 
Start curating and selling cheap games according to whatever thread is created for this here endeavor.


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## blah (Jan 1, 2018)

How about mining crypto currency in the background using javascript? I heard you can sell said 'currency' to idiots, and I'm sure the users of this fine establishment wouldn't mind donating some of their processor power. Right?


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## Spicy Hog (Jan 1, 2018)

DLC post reactions. Spend 5 bucks to always be faithful


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## Doug_Hitzel (Jan 9, 2018)

Spin off the “off-topic” part into a separate entity/site that you can sell ad space on.


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## BILLY MAYS (Jan 9, 2018)

Make rating lootboxes.

The idea is to provide a sense of pride and accomplishment for KF members.


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## AnOminous (Jan 9, 2018)

hood LOLCOW said:


> Make rating lootboxes.
> 
> The idea is to provide a sense of pride and accomplishment for KF members.



Have at least one Pepe rating that is super rare so that autists buy lootboxes over and over to try to get it.


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## Tookie (Jan 9, 2018)

Silk Road 4.0


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## LazarusOwenhart (Jan 9, 2018)

Publish a monthly Playboy style gentleman's magazine. Interviews with @Dynastia about the changing styles and relevance of artisan shitposting in a more up front age. Centrefold shoots and interviews with famous Kiwis. Artfully written thread summaries and opinion pieces. Oh also readers wives:


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## Doug_Hitzel (Jan 9, 2018)

Save on hosting costs by using a blockchain-based solution. Kinda like IPFS, but heterosexual.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jan 9, 2018)

How about lemonade stands?


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## GarthMarenghisDankplace (Jan 18, 2018)

Inspired by the Secret Santa, what if we did a kind of online bake-sale where folk can 'sell' original artwork in the form of donations to the farms? I was pretty impressed with the artistic skills of our members who I had, until then, assumed to all be potato people.


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## Doug_Hitzel (Feb 8, 2018)

Start a weekly podcast. Make it about humorous weird events, politics, crazy trannies, etc. Kinda what Gavin McInnes is doing, but for younger people.
If you can’t find sponsors, just paywall it.


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## AtrocityVoyeur (Feb 8, 2018)

Doug_Hitzel said:


> Start a weekly podcast. Make it about humorous weird events, politics, crazy trannies, etc. Kinda what Gavin McInnes is doing, but for younger people.
> If you can’t find sponsors, just paywall it.



I actually like this idea but I can picture obsessives like The Witchfinder General trying to dox people on the basis of their voiceprint.


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## Doug_Hitzel (Feb 8, 2018)

AtrocityVoyeur said:


> I actually like this idea but I can picture obsessives like The Witchfinder General trying to dox people on the basis of their voiceprint.


You are correct, but that also applies to every podcast and YouTube video with guests. 
I still think a weekly KiwiCast starring @Null would be a way of making money off of kiwifarms.


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## Null (Feb 8, 2018)

Doug_Hitzel said:


> I still think a weekly KiwiCast starring @Null would be a way of making money off of kiwifarms.


People who say "X is a way to make money off the forum" don't understand that the issue isn't soliciting funds or finding an audience, but finding a platform in which people can easily funnel cash to me and the site. Anything I host that is directly linked to the forum, especially anything with revenue, is going to be wiped off the face of the Earth.

Shadman can stay on Patreon despite drawing lolicon because Patreon kowtows to adult artists and simply turns the other cheek, playfully skirting the rules of Mastercard and Visa by not directly selling adult services. That sort of thing does not happen for the Kiwi Farms. If we are on a platform we are rigorously routed out, even faster than literal hate sites like Stormfront in certain situations.


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## Doug_Hitzel (Feb 8, 2018)

Null said:


> People who say "X is a way to make money off the forum" don't understand that the issue isn't soliciting funds or finding an audience, but finding a platform in which people can easily funnel cash to me and the site. Anything I host that is directly linked to the forum, especially anything with revenue, is going to be wiped off the face of the Earth.
> 
> Shadman can stay on Patreon despite drawing lolicon because Patreon kowtows to adult artists and simply turns the other cheek, playfully skirting the rules of Mastercard and Visa by not directly selling adult services. That sort of thing does not happen for the Kiwi Farms. If we are on a platform we are rigorously routed out, even faster than literal hate sites like Stormfront in certain situations.


I guess you need an intermediary then.
A coin collector store, for instance, that will let people buy coins for you as a gift that you then convert to actual money. Don’t know how much they’d charge for such a service or if that’s the right kind of store.
Don’t know if you’ve already tried it, in which case feel free to rape my face with a knife.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Feb 9, 2018)

@Null tell me if I'm way off the mark here but could you not set up a debit account at your local bank, provide us with the account number and then allow those of us with the facility to do so to perform direct money transfers? I know it's not the easiest thing to track but it could help short term.


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## Null (Feb 9, 2018)

LazarusOwenhart said:


> @Null tell me if I'm way off the mark here but could you not set up a debit account at your local bank, provide us with the account number and then allow those of us with the facility to do so to perform direct money transfers? I know it's not the easiest thing to track but it could help short term.


I'm not sure what the consequences of Sam sending bomb threats to a bank would be for me or the site.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Feb 9, 2018)

Null said:


> I'm not sure what the consequences of Sam sending bomb threats to a bank would be for me or the site.


Good point but surely if you use a big national bank they're gonna go after the person making the threats. They're hardly going to be concerned with his reasons. I get what you're saying though re: unwanted site attention from the wrong places. Thinking outside the box though there must be some sort of analog way of sending you money. What about PO boxes? In the UK they're literally just a number that can't be traced to a specific place but I don't know how it works over in Trumpistan.


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## Null (Feb 9, 2018)

LazarusOwenhart said:


> Good point but surely if you use a big national bank they're gonna go after the person making the threats.


Never.


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