# Dealing with not-lolcows.



## HG 400 (Sep 26, 2017)

Once apon a time this forum used to be dedicated only to discussing the antics of Christine Wesley(?) Chandler, with an off-topic board for people to post their horrible selfies and autistic textwall ramblings about how empty and unfulfilling their lives were. Dear Leader eventually noticed that the people who came here had a strong interest in talking about other classic lolcows, and in his infinite wisdom he officially expanded the scope of the board to include them, opening subforums like Lolcows, Community Watch, and even rebranding the site as Kiwi Farms. Some massively autistic people rebelled at this, because they are mentally unequipped to cope with changes, but for the most part it was a roaring success.

Then we expanded scope further, but this time it crept up quietly and unofficially. We expanded into "Internet Drama and Happenings" around the time of the Allison Rapp/Maria Mint get and the Fine Brothers attempt at trademarking reaction videos. Dear Leader made some lengthy effortposts if I recall right, outlining his desire for Kiwi Farms to be a cool happening place for people to go to get the latest update on Internet Drama.

This means there are a bunch of people we want to talk about who are Internet Famous, but absolutely not lolcows. I'm talking about people like Boogie, Anita Sarkeesian, Zoe Quinn, Sargon of Akkad, Mister Metokur, Emily Youcis, Pewdipie, Phillip de Franco. People who are famous on the internet, but who are clearly not lolcows. Once apon a time, making a thread on of any of these people would have resulted in the thread being quickly closed on the grounds of 'not a lolcow'. Nowadays, these threads are permitted because people want to talk about them, and Kiwi Farms is a good place to talk about dumb internet culture stuff and drama. Unfortunately, their threads are still in the lolcow subforum, where they're designated 'lolcows'.

For a good example of the shift in attitude over time, read the first page of this thread.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/sh0eonhead.22394/

This was an obvious shit thread, that got closed down for being shit. Now it's being taken seriously. I realise BP is a shit board full of shit, and not neccessarily restricted to lolcows ; but Sargon and Anita now have a lolcow threads which are being taken seriously, and if I were to make a ShoeOnHead thread in lolcow general for the first time today, it would undoubtedly be accepted.

The situation as it stands now, is that there are tons of threads in the Lolcow subforum about people who are internet famous, but not lolcows. This comes with a few problems.

1 - People seeing the thread for the first time have the understandable desire to post 'this person is not a lolcow' (because they aren't one). The person who posted the thread and the people who want to discuss the subject of it will invariably argue that they _are_ in fact a lolcow ; not neccessarily because they believe it, but because the thread will be shut down if "not a lolcow" ends up the consensus.

2 - Hotpocket cucks are getting tired of cleaning up arguments about whether or not the person is a lolcow, because the person is clearly not a lolcow but we're stuck in a position where we need to insist that they are or the thread will be closed.

3 - The usual result of such arguments is "If you don't think this person is a lolcow, don't post here", which is a terrible fucking precedent to set. "Only post if you agree" culture is a cancerous blight on all internet discussion, and one of the major virtues of Kiwi Farms is that it at least attempts to push back against this kind of mindset from getting too entrenched. Forcing people to accept that Anita Sarkeesian is a lolcow before inviting them to post what they think about Anita Sarkeesian leads to a cultcow thread made up of nothing but the same dozen people being incessantly angry that Antia Sarkeesian exists.

4 - /cow/ makes fun of us for going to extreme mental gymnastics trying to claim these people are lolcows. I realise Dear Leader no longer bases all his decisions on what random idiots from cow are saying, but in this case they have a point. Stretching the definition of 'lolcow' to include political pundits that people disagree with is disingenuous and embarrassing, and is quite possibly the only legitimate complaint cow can level against Kiwi Farms (except for when they point out that Null raped a female forum member and didn't cum)

At the end of the day, I think everything is fine. The only problem is one of nomenclature ; we're in a position where it's expected that we insist random internet faggots are lolcows so we can discuss them, and I think we should just give on that and admit "Yes, we discuss random internet faggots who are not lolcows also". I can think of two possible solutions ;

1 - Create a "Internet Famous" subforum and move all the obvious not-a-lolcows there, probably with their own set of tags like "Cuck" and "Pissbaby" for left and right wing pundits, and maybe "Internet Faggot" for anyone who's just a regular faggot on the internet.

2 - Rename the lolcows subforum to "Individuals" and stop pretending we only talk about lolcows.


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## AnOminous (Sep 26, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> This means there are a bunch of people we want to talk about who are Internet Famous, but absolutely not lolcows. I'm talking about people like Boogie, Anita Sarkeesian, Zoe Quinn, Sargon of Akkad, Mister Metokur, Emily Youcis, Pewdipie, Phillip de Franco.



I agree on every one of these except Zoe Quinn.  Anyone who publicly claims Nintendo is inserting subliminal insults against her into its games is a lolcow.

Also, Boogie is fat, so he's a lolcow, too.


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## millais (Sep 26, 2017)

I like option two. Tags can be used to indicate real lolcows/lolcow categories

Also, Boogie is not a lolcow, he's a lolwhale


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## HG 400 (Sep 26, 2017)

AnOminous said:


> Also, Boogie is fat, so he's a lolcow, too.



These words will haunt your inevitable halal thread, you fat fuck.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2017)

Creating a distinction at this point is really fruitless. I don't think the traditional definition of lolcow even exists anymore. People are too wise to it, and if there were such a thing, they would be destroyed by the mob of idiots who harass everyone we have a thread on and disappear. We can't really abandon the word lolcow, it's just our word at this point, and it describes what we talk about. It's also sort of a branding that pisses people off, a dehumanizing element that innately trolls people just by having a thread.

The opposite idea is probably better, to take threads which are _really good_ and then.. hiding them. Tucking them away from the unwashed masses. Not really an "inner circle", just a.. "less outer circle", ok. if u follow. 90% of the users here aren't even here to see the best examples of lolcows, they're just here to see the drama. They wouldn't even miss it.


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## Randall Fragg (Sep 26, 2017)

Null said:


> Creating a distinction at this point is really fruitless. I don't think the traditional definition of lolcow even exists anymore. People are too wise to it, and if there were such a thing, they would be destroyed by the mob of idiots who harass everyone we have a thread on and disappear. We can't really abandon the word lolcow, it's just our word at this point, and it describes what we talk about. It's also sort of a branding that pisses people off, a dehumanizing element that innately trolls people just by having a thread.
> 
> The opposite idea is probably better, to take threads which are _really good_ and then.. hiding them. Tucking them away from the unwashed masses. Not really an "inner circle", just a.. "less outer circle", ok. if u follow. 90% of the users here aren't even here to see the best examples of lolcows, they're just here to see the drama. They wouldn't even miss it.


The Alter of the Golden Cow?


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## Feline Darkmage (Sep 30, 2017)

AnOminous said:


> I agree on every one of these except Zoe Quinn. Anyone who publicly claims Nintendo is inserting subliminal insults against her into its games is a lolcow.



Semi-OT on the Quinn thing here is that anybody who doesn't think she's turned into a lolcow yet haven't seen the 2017 happenings. He OP is outdated and needs to reflect just how insane she is.

But I actually do agree with Dyn we should shuffle political pundit youtubers and random internet faggots like Sargon into their own thing because they aren't lolcows when you use the definition of lolcow.


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## GS 281 (Sep 30, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> Rename the lolcows subforum to "Individuals" and stop pretending we only talk about lolcows.


this would be best. because if we had the choice between lolcow and people of interest within a week the forum would have a 90 page thread on why X is or isnt a lolcow


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## InLivingTuna (Sep 30, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> Sargon and Anita now have a lolcow threads which are being taken seriously


No, Anita doesn't yet, and that's weird to me because we've made threads on at least two of the Femfreq staff members and we already have a couple lolcows whose entire threads are "they like Anita". We should have realistically made one when the Sargon thing happened because that's the closest to a real chimpout we've ever seen from her but there are some lines I guess Dear Leader just won't cross.

EDIT: I'll also add that I'm willing to make one if it's gonna be allowed now.


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## José Mourinho (Oct 4, 2017)

Perhaps rename the board as "Internet Nobodies" if we have a problem with defining who's a lolcow.


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## HG 400 (Oct 8, 2018)

> Create a "Internet Famous" subforum

i told you so


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## trueandhonestfan (Oct 10, 2018)

There's a reason we have tags like dramacow, horrorcow, skitzocow, etc. now. It's to seperate the people like Boogie2988 (who is a cow, he's a pathetic morbidly obese man who tries to fish for sympathy while also being smug about how good he's doing) from the traditional lolcows like CWC and ADF.

I think the forum is fine as is. I think you take Internet personalities too seriously if you really have a problem with laughing stocks being called lolcows. They may not be as gullible as Chris and The Golden Knight, but they're still a hilarious mess.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Oct 24, 2018)

O'Shagnasty said:


> > Create a "Internet Famous" subforum
> 
> i told you so


When I saw that I was flabbergasted.  I thought for the longest time we weren't here to talk about any random dipshit on Youtube.  I guess I should be thankful that's a separate board though, because now there's a containment zone around all the newfags here to discuss the hottest PewDiePie drama between _Fortnite_ rounds.


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## VoreDoggy (Oct 24, 2018)

Replicant Sasquatch said:


> When I saw that I was flabbergasted.  I thought for the longest time we weren't here to talk about any random dipshit on Youtube.  I guess I should be thankful that's a separate board though, because now there's a containment zone around all the newfags here to discuss the hottest PewDiePie drama between _Fortnite_ rounds.


I mean, the weenies who were very excited about the Metokur video in the furry thread, instead of reading the content themselves, were what convinced me that we were beyond saving. Something tells me every moderately large internet personality is getting a thread soon, solely from popular demand.


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## Ruin (Oct 24, 2018)

I'm 100% with getting rid of celebrity and streamer/Youtuber threads. Most of our shittiest posters congregate there so getting rid of them will be a nice side effect.


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## AnOminous (Oct 24, 2018)

Ruin said:


> I'm 100% with getting rid of celebrity and streamer/Youtuber threads. Most of our shittiest posters congregate there so getting rid of them will be a nice side effect.



They won't go away though.  They'll congregate other places on the site instead.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Oct 25, 2018)

AnOminous said:


> They won't go away though.  They'll congregate other places on the site instead.


the e-celeb drama spergs need to remain in their ghetto.  that genie can't go back in the bottle.


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