# This is why you never link everything to one single name when you join this site



## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

> The following is written in leetspeak for security reasons.
> 
> 1 4m 4 p3d0f113.  1 11k3 117713 61415.  1 6u355 y0u p408481y kn3w 7447 83c4u53 0f m4dd150n. 17'5 n0741n6 n3w.  17'5 0n3 0f my 84k357 53c4375.



http://archive.md/WbGIx



> I don't know why I called myself a pedophile, but I did.  I'm not like that. * I may have dirty thoughts about underage grils, but that's pretty much it. * I'm not really sure what means to be a pedophile. I can't look it up because the wiki page is probably blocked.  I'll go check.  It wasn't blocked.  I fit none of the criteria.  Well it's good that's taken care of.


http://archive.md/KACSZ

This is being said by this person








So the other day Sherlac Everomore joined this site. He linked his Youtube account on his kiwi profile. Me and @Marisa Kirisame took a look at his kiwi farms profile and found something from it.

On his Youtube Account he posted links to all his other accounts






In every single online account he goes by either  Charles Schwaniger (HIS ACTUAL FUCKING NAME) or hyperguy152.

Clicking on his Devintart account revealed not only he loves MLP and Sonic as any other Autist, but also is a Nice Guy.



> What is it about me that girls don't like?  Is it my autism?  My weight?  My tendency to like girls who are already taken?  What is it?  I'm a nice guy.  I'm smart.  I have superb agility.  I don't see why they don't want me.  Maybe it's them.  I don't think that's the case.  It must be me.


http://archive.md/MndP1

Good news is that he overcame this by falling in love with a* 12 year old girl*




> This hopeless romantic is in love once again, but I assure you that this time it's different.  Her name is Maddie, and she's the most wonderful girl in the world.  I've already written a love poem for her, but I want to see what you guys think of it before I give it.  The main problem is the 4 to 5 age difference between us.  I don't have a problem with it, but my parents, my teacher, and apparently the law do.  But believe me. you realy do need to worry.  I only want to make her happy.  An if she says, "Hey, go away," I will, but I'll think better still. I'd better stay around and love her.  Do you think I have a case?  Let me ask it to her face, "Do you like you love me?"


http://archive.md/fqzf6



			
				Pedo said:
			
		

> I'm actually making progress with her. She's letting me touch her, and she even smiles at me. There are two possible reasons for t Now would be a good time to tell you about Cory. Cory is my school's newest student. He somehow thinks Maddison is his girfriend, but the fealings not mutual. Either she's using me to shield herself from Cory, or she's actually taking a liking for me. Either way, I win.



http://archive.md/0WmYM





He made a poem for the 12 year old he loved



> Maddie, oh Maddie,
> You make me quite gladdie.
> Your hair is soft and keen.
> 
> ...


http://archive.md/Alkqa



> Maddie, Maddie, Cincinnati
> Knew you when I was just a laddie
> The sight of you made me so batty.
> Maddie, Maddie, Cincinnati
> ...


http://archive.md/ezUZe



			
				Pedo said:
			
		

> This hopeless romantic is in love once again, but I assure you that this time it's different.  Her name is Maddie, and she's the most wonderful girl in the world.  I've already written a love poem for her, but I want to see what you guys think of it before I give it.  The main problem is the 4 to 5 age difference between us.  I don't have a problem with it, but my parents, my teacher, and apparently the law do.  But believe me. you realy do need to worry.  I only want to make her happy.  An if she says, "Hey, go away," I will, but I'll think better still. I'd better stay around and love her.  Do you think I have a case?  Let me ask it to her face, "Do you like you love me?


http://archive.md/byEhG



> Maddie and I have been argueing lately.  Only little things, like whether it's true or not your cat will eat you when you're dead. Today we were in the Army-Navy store, when I joke about pushing her inlt a rack of flags.  She said that she would get me for that.  I replied, "No, I'm going to get you." Then she said, "I'd like to see you try," so then I grabed her and attempted to kiss her.  I should say that Maddie is not technically my girlfriend, so this action caused her to scream.  That made my blood pressure spike for a little while. My teacher said not to do that agian, which I won't.  He also made me appologise to her, and he made her do the same when he found out that she was also at fault. Well, my mom's home, and I don't want her to know about this, so bye. EDIT: I'm back.  I can't stop thinking about Maddie.  I dread having a three-day weekend simply because it means another day without her.  All I want to do is to be with her.  I don't have her number or anything, so contacting her outside of school is infinately improbable.  And if I do ask for any contact information, my parents or my teacher will get on my case about it.  I'm stuck.  I have no means of contacting her without adult supervion.


http://archive.md/eGDjL



> I know I said I'm over Maddison, but it's hard.  This is mostly because I need a girl to obsess over, and she seems like the only option.  I've also developed this habbit of calling her Numb-Numbs.  Usually I call her that softly so that the staff (all of which are over 45) can't hear, and the only way they know I said it is because she tells them.  I tell them that I didn't say anything, and they trust me because in their mind, I tell the truth.
> 
> Back to what I was saying before the whole "Numb-Numbs" thing.  I obess over Maddison because I have nobody else to obess over...unless there's some one willing for me to obsess over them.


http://archive.md/fqzf6

Apparently he fell in love with another young underage girl after breaking up with Maddison.



> It happened again yesterday. I can't be sure it was her I saw. It looked like her, she acted like her, but whether or not it is her shall remain as uncertain as everything else regarding me and her.
> 
> Sometimes I wish I could erase her from my memory, thinking that it would make me the happier person I was before I met her, but I know deep down that will not solve anything. I also know she's thinking the same.
> 
> I feel it would help me move on if I could speek to her one more time, but I'm not sure if it would actually accomplish anything. I don't what it is I should do. I'm not getting closure by just respecting her space. I need to get what I feel out to her. I want her to know I'm sorry.



http://archive.md/t8xKl


Like every other Autistic lover of underage girls, he has his own theme song
https://u.nya.is/sguknj.mp3

http://archive.md/v5nX6


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## Marisa Kirisame (Mar 2, 2017)

wew lad


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## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

Thanks to @Marisa Kirisame for doing this



> Poems
> http://archive.md/Alkqa "And in case you're wondering, I'm 17, and she's 12."
> http://archive.md/ezUZe (wrote this in 2012)
> http://archive.md/4Rtlx
> ...


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## Locksnap (Mar 2, 2017)

> I'm not really sure what means to be a pedophile. I can't look it up because the wiki page is probably blocked. I'll go check. It wasn't blocked. I fit none of the criteria. Well it's good that's taken care of.


holy shit lol


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## Michel (Mar 2, 2017)

Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｓｕｐｅｒｂ ａｇｉｌｉｔｙ.


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## Bassomatic (Mar 2, 2017)

This is amazing. Flat amazing.


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## RP 520 (Mar 2, 2017)

This guy may be contender for dumbest kiwi ever. I'm going to go get a drink now.

Edit: @entropyseekswork because this thread needs to be shared.


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> http://archive.md/WbGIx
> 
> 
> http://archive.md/KACSZ
> ...


I regret calling him cool... lo siento... @Kiwi Jeff you gotta see this lol


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## millais (Mar 2, 2017)

why is this in general, seems like a slam dunk halal


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## Locksnap (Mar 2, 2017)

Looking through his posts:


Sherlac Everomore said:


> That's a good Shota.


In response to @Syaoran Li and presumably his picture


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 2, 2017)

SUPERB AGILITY!!!

Only when you have to catch a falling Hot Pocket before it hits the kitchen floor.

Also: lol nigga u fucked up, should have read the rules.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

Zach_Kun said:


> I regret calling him cool... lo siento... @Kiwi Jeff you gotta see this lol


Thank you @Zach_Kun you made my day. I knew there was something a little off about him.


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## Piss Clam (Mar 2, 2017)

http://www.missingkids.org/home
https://www.fbi.gov/

About covers it.


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## Deathfromabove (Mar 2, 2017)

Oh god what the fuck. I don't know whats more disturbing, him touching a 12 year old or him having a newgrounds account in 2017


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## Lurkette (Mar 2, 2017)

> An if she says, "Hey, go away," I will, but I'll think better still. *I'd better stay around and love her.*


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Thank you @Zach_Kun you made my day. I knew there was something a little off about him.


De nada!
@Sherlac Everomore lol


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## Black Waltz (Mar 2, 2017)

Wow...


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## Ponderous Pillock (Mar 2, 2017)

Hold the phone, if the age difference is 4-5 years from 13, then isn't he underage?


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 2, 2017)

He liked a bunch of posts in the Fedoras vs Mullets thread.

Posts that were saying that fatties ruin trilbies and that they'll ruin real fedoras if they ever get around to wearing them.

Wat.


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

Ponderous Pillock said:


> Hold the phone, if the age difference is 4-5 years from 13, then isn't he underage?


Since that was posted years ago, he wouldn't be underaged now (perfect for a lolcow thread ifyouknowhatimean)


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

Ponderous Pillock said:


> Hold the phone, if the age difference is 4-5 years from 13, then isn't he underage?


He does _not_ look underage


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

guys who say they are a 'hopeless romantic' are usually fucking weird af


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## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

He's 24 now, at the time he was touching  and having dirty thoughts of the 12 year old he was 17.


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## Marisa Kirisame (Mar 2, 2017)

Sherlac Everomore said:


> I once chased I girl I liked until I pinned her to the sidewalk


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> He's 24 now, at the time he was touching  and having dirty thoughts of the 12 year old he was 17.



So wait if she 'just turned 13' he turned 18 then when they were touching right


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## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

*https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger/posts/2231907885732*


*GUYS GUYS GUYS*

*My Little Pony Fan Fic*

http://archive.md/ydTnP


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## Zvantastika (Mar 2, 2017)

Funnybone said:


> So wait if she 'just turned 13' he turned 18 then when they were touching right


Wait, are you suggesting it's JAIL TIME?. Because I'd be cool with that.

Haha, why search for tism when tism comes to us, it's so easy nowadays it's almost depressing.


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## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

https://www.eventhubs.com/guides/2009/jan/19/cammys-plotline-and-history-street-fighter-4/




			
				Pedo said:
			
		

> 1 hyperguy152 said on October 5, 2010 at 7:53 p.m.
> 
> Cammy wouldn't go out with you pigs. She wants a man that respects her.


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> *https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger/posts/2231907885732*
> 
> 
> *GUYS GUYS GUYS*
> ...


So what horse do you think he faps to while watching?


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 2, 2017)

Looking at all the pedophile posts, they were all made in 2009 or so, so almost 8 years ago at this point.

Maybe he was just young and autistic(er) and didn't think saying really troubling shit like that was a big deal that could come back to bite him in the ass almost a decade later. Then again saying some shit like "dats sum good shota" is troubling.

But I don't watch much anime, maybe Shota is the character's name and not short for the male version of lolicon.

In short: LOL u dun goofed


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

Zvantastika said:


> Wait, are you suggesting it's JAIL TIME?. Because I'd be cool with that.
> 
> Haha, why search for tism when tism comes to us, it's so easy nowadays it's almost depressing.


Hell yeah I am yo. 
Time for this pedo to:


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

jesus we get one of these a week now.
we better lay off the halals or we'll get fat like pig americans


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## piripiri (Mar 2, 2017)

did he actually meet with any kids or was it just teenage fantasy? Obviously it's a sick fantasy but was there any actual victim?


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

piripiri said:


> did he actually meet with any kids or was it just teenage fantasy? Obviously it's a sick fantasy but was there any actual victim?


dammit don't ask logical questions.

LETS PUT HIM IN JAIL


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## ICametoLurk (Mar 2, 2017)

This is his facebook profile

https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger?fref=nf
http://archive.md/XGYws

I'll just let his photos speak for themselves
http://archive.md/1RCze


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> This is his facebook profile
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger?fref=nf
> http://archive.md/XGYws
> ...


I feel bad for that poor cat...


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## RP 520 (Mar 2, 2017)

The glasses he wears don't suit him well enough.

I think these would represent him a lot better imo:


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> This is his facebook profile
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger?fref=nf
> http://archive.md/XGYws
> ...


ok but. seriously.

he looks EXACTLY like that smiley.


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## Locksnap (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> This is his facebook profile
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/charles.schwaniger?fref=nf
> http://archive.md/XGYws
> ...











intradasting....


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## Ponderous Pillock (Mar 2, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> He does _not_ look underage





Zach_Kun said:


> Since that was posted years ago, he wouldn't be underaged now (perfect for a lolcow thread ifyouknowhatimean)





ICametoLurk said:


> He's 24 now, at the time he was touching  and having dirty thoughts of the 12 year old he was 17.



Seeeee, see that's just _wrooooooooong_. 



Zach_Kun said:


> So what horse do you think he faps to while watching?



Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom.

Obligatory posting of vid.


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

Locksnap said:


> intradasting....


I noticed he put his actual location on his KIWI PROFILE...


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## Ponderous Pillock (Mar 2, 2017)

Zach_Kun said:


> I noticed he put his actual location on his KIWI PROFILE...



Deploy the Kiwi-Drone.


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

I know @Null himself has said this before but he really needs to make the "don't let us know who you are" warning on the sign-up page a lot scarier.


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## Darndirty (Mar 2, 2017)

"Maddie, oh Maddie 
You make me quite gladdy"

Someone give this man a pulitzer


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## Tanner Glass (Mar 2, 2017)

The Fool said:


> I know @Null himself has said this before but he really needs to make the "don't let us know who you are" warning on the sign-up page a lot scarier.



It sure sounds like the horror story is going to be "look what happened to @Sherlac Everomore, don't be like @Sherlac Everomore"


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## MasterDisaster (Mar 2, 2017)

So who's the next one?  It's like we've got a cadre of sleeper agents all over the farms and someone dropped the trigger word that's got them all powerleveling one right after the other.


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## Ponderous Pillock (Mar 2, 2017)

MasterDisaster said:


> So who's the next one?  It's like we've got a cadre of sleeper agents all over the farms and someone dropped the trigger word that's got them all powerleveling one right after the other.



The trigger was our return, they thought we were weak....

BUT INSTEAD...


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

two halals for on thread! I don't know if I should feel happy or ashamed.


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

The Fool said:


> two halals for on thread! I don't know if I should feel happy or ashamed.


Being a Kiwi means you are in a constant state of giggly stupor and shame--- so both!!!


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## Funnybone (Mar 2, 2017)

this thread is full of pedo shaming and sheer butthurt autism

This is how the farms should always be


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


>


You know, this guy came here to a-log Jerry Peet, and by just looking at him, I can tell he earned those hats.


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## Cthulu (Mar 2, 2017)

Everyone in this thread is autistic and Hello Pedo.


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## Sherlac Everomore (Mar 2, 2017)

Well then, this has been a learning experience.


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## Michel (Mar 2, 2017)

Guys GUYS
@Sherlac Everomore

Edit: :late:


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## Cthulu (Mar 2, 2017)

Sherlac Everomore said:


> Well then, this has been a learning experience.


lol you don't say?


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

Sherlac Everomore said:


> Well then, this has been a learning experience.



You can earn retribution if you post your dick with a timestamp
edit: I didn't use the word retribution right but post your dick anyway


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 2, 2017)

Sherlac Everomore said:


> Well then, this has been a learning experience.



Has it, though? What did you learn?


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## autism420 (Mar 2, 2017)

piripiri said:


> that was actually about ruin fyi. it was a pisstake on her.
> 
> that was straight after she started down rating my posts because i thoughtlessly rated one of her posts dumb or something. and then she sent her boy icame to downrate all my posts. He has rated 200 posts of mine autistic
> 
> ...


This is why we need rating notifications back. Imagine how much the salt would be multiplied.


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## Syaoran Li (Mar 2, 2017)

Well, this just got weird and creepy. I thought the "nice Shota" comment in the "Fedora vs. Mullet" thread was just some sort of ironic joke, but now with this news coming to light, it's just awful and wrong.

Especially since he probably wasn't joking.


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## Kari Kamiya (Mar 2, 2017)

If I hadn't changed my avatar, he could've potentially given me a damning "that's a good loli" comment. Creep.


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## Aquinas (Mar 2, 2017)

Kari Kamiya said:


> If I hadn't changed my avatar, he could've potentially given me a damning "that's a good loli" comment. Creep.


Thats a good shota in your AV


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

this thread is a beautiful mess and I hope it gets speragtory'd


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## Quack (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore was last seen viewing this thread 14 minutes ago. Come and say hi, Charles!


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## Cthulu (Mar 2, 2017)

piripiri said:


> Apologies to the moderation staff


lmao.


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## Bluebird (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore 
What happened to you and Maddie?
Is she the person you claim to be in a relationship with on Facebook?


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore did you dump Maddie because she's now too old for you?


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore how many fedoras do you own?


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## Kari Kamiya (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore Is Maddie short for Madeline?

https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2e/9c/c3/2e9cc37b6ffc055140cc1dd080dfc145.jpg


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## BaissaTheSinger (Mar 2, 2017)

Why does the pedo have to be the one with the Henry (FE) avatar?

Also, @Sherlac Everomore have you met any new 12/13 year olds after Maddie?


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## Zach_Kun (Mar 2, 2017)

piripiri said:


> never sent you a pm - always posted to your wall.
> 
> you are just making up shit now.
> 
> also you're not in the pub


Pm, Wall, does it make any difference? You will still act autistic, no matter what <3
also how tf do you know if theyre at a pub wtf nigga


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

Hey, remember when this thread was about a kiddy diddler? Good times..


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

This thread went places I really wasn't expecting it to.


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

I have to believe even a 12 year old would have better taste then this walking meme.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> Like every other Autistic lover of underage girls, he has his own theme song
> https://u.nya.is/sguknj.mp3


Can we all take a moment to appreciate how awful this is?


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Can we all take a moment to appreciate how awful this is?


 If Dracula had down syndrome, that's what his ringtone would be.


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## The Fool (Mar 2, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Can we all take a moment to appreciate how awful this is?



Why can't asspies just take 15 goddamn minutes to properly learn how to use a DAW


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## Loxiozzz (Mar 2, 2017)

I just wanted to talk about the pedophile.


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## Darndirty (Mar 2, 2017)

This is why halal threads are frowned upon.


But I love them


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## Null (Mar 2, 2017)

you guys are mean


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## Gabriel (Mar 2, 2017)

Null said:


> you guys are mean


stop bullying us.


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

Tanner Glass said:


> It sure looks like @piripiri is about to get a thank you card from @Sherlac Everomore


@Sherlac Everomore hasn't been this happy since Kids Bop started making videos.


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## Cthulu (Mar 2, 2017)

Mason Verger said:


> @Sherlac Everomore hasn't been this happy since Kids Bop started making videos.


And you idiots are still way off topic. lmao.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 2, 2017)

piripiri said:


> are you not entertained?





piripiri said:


> i'm totally out now. apologies for the earlier out when i wasn't actually out.


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

@Sherlac Everomore has been covered up so quickly you'd think he's a catholic priest


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

Ah well, it was a good cow, @ICametoLurk, sorry it was autistic open mic night in the screech closet.


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## AnOminous (Mar 2, 2017)

The Fool said:


> I know @Null himself has said this before but he really needs to make the "don't let us know who you are" warning on the sign-up page a lot scarier.



It should say do not do this or THIS WILL HAPPEN and that text should link directly to this thread.


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## Cthulu (Mar 2, 2017)

ShiningPokeStar said:


> With your "disappearing acts", why aren't we?


What? Spill it SPS


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## Pina Colada (Mar 2, 2017)

Cthulhu said:


> What? Spill it SPS


Meme magic is where it's at.


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## Black Waltz (Mar 2, 2017)

what the hell happened to this thread


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## Loxiozzz (Mar 2, 2017)

Dink Smallwood said:


> what the hell happened to this thread


:autism:. And lots of it.


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## Mason Verger (Mar 2, 2017)

Dink Smallwood said:


> what the hell happened to this thread


@Sherlac Everomore sock account catfished us with a sticker fight. Now he's watching Disney channel with the lights off.


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