# Predict how the user above you will get banned from Kiwi Farms



## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

I'm a little surprised this one hasn't been done yet.


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## Elhaym (Oct 8, 2017)

The staff takes such offense to this topic that they ban you from Kiwi Farms for life.


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## symantec (Oct 8, 2017)

You both get banned for using god awful Japanese pseudo-art as your avatars.


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## ICametoLurk (Oct 8, 2017)

Created an autistic shitstorm after giving Chris money to buy legos.


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## symantec (Oct 8, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> Created an autistic shitstorm after giving Chris money to buy legos.


Posted a video to motherless porking a pumpkin


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## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

Tries to act like a smart alec to Null


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## Yellow Shirt Guy (Oct 8, 2017)

Pr0n


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## Bob Page (Oct 8, 2017)

Being an alex jones fanatic


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## Broseph Stalin (Oct 8, 2017)

Spergs off in chat or some shit that can't be traced via their profile because that seems to be how ~80% of bans happen these days.


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## Y2K Baby (Oct 8, 2017)

Stinky armpit.


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## KiwiMisetté (Oct 8, 2017)

Being a Devil who is Stealing others' hearts.


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## m0rnutz (Oct 8, 2017)

Sends boobs to rando, doesn't share


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## ES 148 (Oct 8, 2017)

Having a penis avatar that isn't from Chris


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## Jerry_ smith56 (Oct 8, 2017)

Showing off bobs and vagene.


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## r4ndom (Oct 8, 2017)

saying some autistic rick and morty shit and pissing off a mod.


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## AnOminous (Oct 8, 2017)

r4ndom said:


> saying some autistic rick and morty shit and pissing off a mod.



Starting a post with "I'm going to preface this by saying I like the idea of. . ." [something completely haram].


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## NQ 952 (Oct 8, 2017)

Finally getting on Nulls last nerve by derailing another font page thread with his bullshit.


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## Foltest (Oct 8, 2017)

livestreaming a jerk off season.


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## Coconut Gun (Oct 8, 2017)

Politely asking for a ban.


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## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

Posts the lyrics to the DK rap in every single thread


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## Hui (Oct 8, 2017)

Sharing his collection of loli pictures


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## oldTireWater (Oct 8, 2017)

Shitting in the house.


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## HY 140 (Oct 8, 2017)

turns out to be a bot


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## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

Spoils Jojo to a mod who's only watching the anime.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Oct 8, 2017)

Forgot to apologize for double posting


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## odius (Oct 8, 2017)

Something involving Y2K Baby


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## SheerHeartAttack (Oct 8, 2017)

Posts Shad Pr0n.


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## Ntwadumela (Oct 8, 2017)

Posting Julie Terryberry's "roast beef"


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## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

Posts his Lion King cosplay.


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## Burgers in the ass (Oct 8, 2017)

Derails every thread with hentai


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## c-no (Oct 8, 2017)

Getting trolled with no effort and reeing about it.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Oct 8, 2017)

Posts something ":horrifying:" in chat like @JSGOTI and @OtterParty


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## IV 445 (Oct 8, 2017)

Overloading the system with so many comment likes and follows, forcing Null to reboot everything.


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## Burgers in the ass (Oct 8, 2017)

Changing his avatar again


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## Somar (Oct 8, 2017)

Beats Null in a game of TF2


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Oct 8, 2017)

Posting fucked up CCS doujins.


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## POWER IN MISERY (Oct 8, 2017)

live suicide stream


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## ES 148 (Oct 9, 2017)

Loads the bitcoin miner to 1000%, forcing the servers to start mining by themselves and crashing the website.


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## KiwiMisetté (Oct 9, 2017)

Giving a seizure (to one of the staff members)


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## Ntwadumela (Oct 9, 2017)

Fucking a Japanese schoolgirl on webcam.


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## KiwiMisetté (Oct 9, 2017)

Ntwadumela said:


> Fucking a Japanese schoolgirl on webcam.


pfff, i might just scissor them instead ✂✂✂

Reported for Beastiality.


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## Somar (Oct 9, 2017)

A sock of a previously banned user.


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## Tennis Monkey (Oct 9, 2017)

Told waifu is shit, chimps out.


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## ES 148 (Oct 9, 2017)

Told chimps are shit, waifus out.


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## Gym Leader Elesa (Oct 9, 2017)

"Kiwi Farms is like a home to me, so much so that I'm going to talk at length about my depraved secrets 'cause I love you guys so much."


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## Kiwi Jeff (Oct 9, 2017)

Posts a lewd picture without spoilers


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## Somar (Oct 9, 2017)

Spergs out when you see someone say they don't like alligators.


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## Ntwadumela (Oct 9, 2017)

Posts his Boku No Piko hentai pages


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## Gym Leader Elesa (Oct 9, 2017)

Goes full Allahu Ackbar and bombs 14 Branchland Court


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## Somar (Oct 9, 2017)

Porn collection of Elesa leaks.


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## Somar (Dec 5, 2017)

Tries to bump his own thread by double posting.


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## WW 635 (Dec 5, 2017)

Creates thread to show "her" transition from boy to official trap


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## Kiwi Jeff (Dec 5, 2017)

Can't


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## HY 140 (Dec 5, 2017)

Alligator sex


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## Ruin (Dec 5, 2017)

Calling Null a cuck.


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## Somar (Dec 5, 2017)

Ruins every thread you post in


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## Ntwadumela (Dec 5, 2017)

From posting a picture of a schoolgirl’s panties he stole.


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## Mr. Fister (Dec 8, 2017)

Started to mind-fuck all kiwi farm mods into banning Null.
Paid the ultimate price.


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## Gordon Cole (Dec 8, 2017)

Talk about your pedo fantasies involving the characters from _The Weekenders_ in the general room.


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## Somar (Dec 8, 2017)

Reveals to be a descendant of Hitler


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## POWER IN MISERY (Dec 8, 2017)

underaged


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## OhGoy (Dec 9, 2017)

meets null IRL and steals his wallet


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## Ntwadumela (Dec 9, 2017)

For having a Satanic-themed Hanukkah


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## Fuck you jewish cunt (Dec 9, 2017)

For emailing @Null a video of him jerking off Lions


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## Null (Dec 9, 2017)

Fuck you jewish cunt said:


> For emailing @Null a video of him jerking off Lions


i'd give him a promotion for that


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## Pina Colada (Dec 13, 2017)

Abandoning the site to elope with a kiwi bird, and have Chris as the maid of honor.


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## Somar (Dec 14, 2017)

Posting a pic of you topless


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## Corrugated Daffodils (Dec 14, 2017)

Because 96 was a shit year for shit cunts.


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## heymate (Dec 14, 2017)

For being a depraved godless furry.


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## Syaoran Li (Dec 14, 2017)

For blowing up a bus full of nuns and then smoking in a convenience store.


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## Somar (Dec 15, 2017)

Crashing a train into @Null's house


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## Ass eating cunt (Dec 15, 2017)

Liking trash anime


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## Kiwi Jeff (Dec 15, 2017)

Being an anime elitist


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## 0 2 (Dec 15, 2017)

Being mistakenly banned when their posts show up while the banbot wordsearches "anime" during the purge.


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## Crunchy Leaf (Dec 15, 2017)

being too edgy even for here


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## Somar (Dec 15, 2017)

Becomes expired


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## Ass eating cunt (Dec 15, 2017)

posting multiple times for no reason


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## Somar (Dec 15, 2017)

Being a hypocrite.


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## Ass eating cunt (Dec 15, 2017)

Lurking


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## Kiwi Jeff (Dec 16, 2017)

Not lurking enough


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## NIGGO KILLA (Dec 16, 2017)

bites null


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## 0 2 (Dec 16, 2017)

Doesn't bite Null when he finds out he's into that.


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## Corrugated Daffodils (Dec 16, 2017)

Just because.


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## Ballo (Dec 16, 2017)

Sperging to hard about nukes


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## 0 2 (Dec 16, 2017)

Said "don't ban me" on admin enforced forum Opposite Day.


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## Corrugated Daffodils (Dec 16, 2017)

Posts a self that's to handsome and the mods ban out of envy.


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## MangledTwot (Dec 16, 2017)

Posts an entire thread dedicated to daffodils and other flowers. It becomes so popular that it gets 100000 posts in 10 minutes and makes the site lag. Thread removed, user banned.

I love flowers too, mate, but give it a little rest!


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## Somar (Dec 16, 2017)

Harrases a lolcow offsite even after the mods warn you not to do that.
Hey if you're going to have as good of a start as @Ntwadumela, you might as well suffer the same fate as him.


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## MangledTwot (Dec 16, 2017)

Posts goatse on every thread ever.


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## MechanicalHugbox (Dec 16, 2017)

Gets caught by daddy @Dynastia posting at 6 am in the morning


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## Somar (Dec 29, 2017)

Lies about using the site for too long despite only making about 120 posts.


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## Ass eating cunt (Dec 29, 2017)

Still thinks madoka magica is relevant


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## Somar (Dec 30, 2017)

Mistakes the "Predict how the user above you will get banned from Kiwi Farms" thread with the "Say something mean about the user above you thread.


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## HY 140 (Dec 30, 2017)

is revealed to be a lolicon artist/ TF fetish artist on deviantart


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## opy702 (Dec 30, 2017)

Two words: School. Shooting.


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## Pina Colada (Dec 30, 2017)

Unironically spamming one YouTube Poop too many (same goes with memes) in the community thread.


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## Fuck you jewish cunt (Dec 30, 2017)

Posting hentai in the Random pics thread


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## Begemot (Dec 30, 2017)

Fuck you jewish cunt said:


> Posting hentai in the Random pics thread


Is found to be a secret Mossad sleeper agent specifically tasked with creating disinfo on the farms.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Dec 30, 2017)

Spamming all mods with dick pics.


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## Somar (Dec 30, 2017)

Calls @Null fat


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## H4nzn0 (Dec 31, 2017)

Accidentally sending lolicon to the mods/admins.


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## kike pal (Dec 31, 2017)

HIV/AIDS


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## HY 140 (Dec 31, 2017)

posts Sonichu porn they drew themselves


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## Kyria the Great (Dec 31, 2017)

Proving to be the next Fuck You to the site.


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## drtoboggan (Dec 31, 2017)

Shitposting Dutch porn.


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## jewelry investor (Dec 31, 2017)

diddling kids


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## Corrugated Daffodils (Dec 31, 2017)

Using his Co-Power and cucking Null out of a tsunami.


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## Ravio (Dec 31, 2017)

Posts a picture of her dick to kf


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 6, 2018)

Troon shaming


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## Somar (Jan 6, 2018)

Gives poison to a mod.


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## drtoboggan (Jan 6, 2018)

ODing on crack and Tramadol in chat.


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 6, 2018)

Posing as a Doctor to write yourself an Oxy prescription.


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## Tempest (Jan 6, 2018)

wildchild sock


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## A Welsh Cake (Jan 6, 2018)

Halal’ed to death.


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## scared sheep (Jan 6, 2018)

For being too welsh.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Jan 6, 2018)

Powerleveled too much and had to be banned for their own good.


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## Somar (Jan 6, 2018)

Made @Null jealous about how much of a better user you are than him.


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## TheClorax (Jan 6, 2018)

Tried to defend Chris’ exceptional actions.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 7, 2018)

Posting degenerate offtopic furry porn


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## HY 140 (Jan 7, 2018)

be a fucking ween on Twitter numerous times


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## Tempest (Jan 7, 2018)

will pester everyone to get a bowlcut


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## Pina Colada (Jan 7, 2018)

Spamming PMs with nothing but _The Ring_ GIFs in the mods' inboxes.


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## Somar (Jan 7, 2018)

Ruins the childhood of many Jem fans.


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## jewelry investor (Jan 7, 2018)

Argues autisticly about IQ points.


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 10, 2018)

Failed school shooting that brings dishonor to the Farms


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## jewelry investor (Jan 10, 2018)

Low effort shitposting

How do you ban a dead guy


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## Feline Darkmage (Jan 27, 2018)

Failed Jew hunting test.


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 27, 2018)

Making Null mad by repeatedly quoting entire OPs and making a one sentence comment.


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## Tempest (Jan 27, 2018)

same reason


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## jewelry investor (Jan 27, 2018)

Being temperamental.


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## 8777BB5 (Jan 27, 2018)

Post photoshopped picture of Null as a Diaper fur riding Thomas The Tank Engine while getting in the mouth from Sonichu and the ass from Nickbates


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 27, 2018)

Posts a picture of themselves eating ass.


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## Somar (Jan 27, 2018)

Has someone else post a picture of your head inside that loop.


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 27, 2018)

Powerlevels too much with your username


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## Tempest (Jan 27, 2018)

hacks null's profile


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## Terror Rism (Jan 27, 2018)

probably cums somewhere in public


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 27, 2018)

Stares and shakes too much


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## Begemot (Jan 28, 2018)

Is a dirt fetishist and starts sharing their degeneracy on the farms.


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## Red Hood (Jan 28, 2018)

Claiming Sanic is a Russian invention


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 28, 2018)

RPs too hard and murders Null


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## Yop Yop (Jan 28, 2018)

Being idea guys main account


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## 0 2 (Jan 28, 2018)

Admin misclicks and doesn't notice.


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## ES 148 (Jan 28, 2018)

Spergs out over something and gets halal'd. Sorry I'm unimaginative.


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## Somar (Jan 28, 2018)

Avatar scares @Null


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## HY 140 (Jan 28, 2018)

accidentally reveals his fetishes


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 28, 2018)

Loses his only Oscar


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## LofaSofa (Jan 28, 2018)

Being too mean.


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## Somar (Jan 28, 2018)

Being too soft


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## Tempest (Jan 28, 2018)

null bans all anime avatars


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## 0 2 (Jan 28, 2018)

Nulls joins the cyborg collective and bans all of the unuplifted.


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## Ass eating cunt (Jan 29, 2018)

accidentally self destructs the farms


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## Bass (Jan 29, 2018)

@Null finds out that you work for Google


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## Somar (Jan 29, 2018)

Reveals that the person in your avatar is you irl.


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## Tempest (Jan 29, 2018)

turns out to be Somari6991 his evil twin


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## TheClorax (Jan 29, 2018)

PMs all of his erotic fanfiction of him and @Null to @Null.


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## jewelry investor (Jan 29, 2018)

from the above post.


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## Meat_Puppet (Jan 31, 2018)

Being present


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## Army Burger (Feb 1, 2018)

Had sock accounts here


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## George Oscar Bluth Jr (Feb 1, 2018)

is a furry


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## Sylvie Paula Paula (Feb 1, 2018)

Mentions a segway in every single post even though they're not relevant to the conversation


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## Tempest (Feb 1, 2018)

not sylvie paula paula


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## Somar (Feb 1, 2018)

Posts @Null's nudes


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## Shiversblood (Feb 1, 2018)

The person above me will get banned for making posts about having anal sex with a man named trent that he met online on a interenet forum online, first they only talked casually but then one thing lead to another and these two men started to ANAL CANAL but they kept their sexual relationship a secrete for several months however there was a big blow up, he discovered that trent started to have anal canal WITH OTHER MEN! he became so angry and he made hella angry posts screaming about it on the forum, trent got hella pissed regarding this and tons of drama quickly escalated, but what men did not know, trent recently started meeting with someone who just happened to be a MOD of the forum, and guess what this mod did? He slammed his PENIS into the ANUS of trent, and when he saw this poster making fun of his sexual lover trent he just fucking lost it! and he banned him hella! and that is indeed how the poster above me will be banned.


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## Tempest (Feb 1, 2018)

shivers will never be banned


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## TheClorax (Feb 1, 2018)

But you certainly will after @Null finds out you’re working with Google.


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## admiral (Feb 1, 2018)

Spazzing out in chat and spamming the same hentai screencap for 10 minutes straight


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## Tetra (Feb 1, 2018)

Having a name to close to "admin"


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## Somar (Feb 1, 2018)

@Y2K Baby becomes a mod.


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## jewelry investor (Feb 1, 2018)

multi-quoting too many times and seeking approval too much.


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## Somar (Feb 1, 2018)

Tries to bribe @Null into selling him the entire website.


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## Tetra (Feb 1, 2018)

@s null to much useless shit angering him



Somari1996 said:


> @Y2K Baby becomes a mod.



to be fair if y2k becomes a mod 90% of the users will be gone, only supreme shitposters allowed.


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## Y2K Baby (Feb 1, 2018)

Tetraphobia said:


> to be fair if y2k becomes a mod 90% of the users will be gone, only supreme shitposters allowed.


You might think this is a joke but this website literally isn't what it should be. The fact that "shitposting" gets certain posts deleted on what is almost entirely a joke website is testament to this.


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## Begemot (Feb 2, 2018)

Gets banned for not believing in the utter seriousness of lolcow observation.


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## Monika H. (Feb 2, 2018)

Because edgy Sonic with leather jacket and sunglasses is soooo 90's


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## OpenBASED (Feb 2, 2018)

Banned for having a Nazi spergout that lasts  just a few posts too long,


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## drtoboggan (Feb 2, 2018)

Posting Armenian porn.


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## Tempest (Feb 2, 2018)

turns out to be not a doctor


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## Army Burger (Feb 3, 2018)

Lewd acts


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## HY 140 (Feb 3, 2018)

revealed to hate patriotism


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## Army Burger (Feb 3, 2018)

too much of a weeb


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## Sylvie Paula Paula (Feb 3, 2018)

Has a small dick & refuses to put some pants on


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