# Null teaches the Kiwi Farms how to forum.



## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

Ya'll niggas are fucking _lazy_. Seriously stop making me clean up your shit. The post quality is getting unacceptably low for even this dump and it's making reading threads I like difficult to skim.

Here's some tips on not looking like a gigantic retard. Feel free to report shit you see doing this.

*
Don't quote more than you're responding to.*
Stop quoting entire essays.
Stop quoting posts with a dozen images or YouTube videos.

A quote gives context to a message. If your quote is a giant fucking blob of noise, it does nothing but bloat the page and make your post more obtuse than it needs to be.


*Stop posting reaction images.*
And videos.

This isn't 9gag. Kill yourself. You're not funny. Unless the reaction is _really really really_ related to the topic (like, it's old lolcow content made _funnier_ because of the new context you're replying to), don't. If you're not smart enough to figure out if a reaction image is appropriate just avoid it altogether and save me the trouble.


*Figure out how to make lolcow thread titles, good lord*
I know immediately if a lolcow forum OP is low IQ or not by how they title. It's literally every single thread that follows the exact same pattern and I am still finding myself constantly cleaning up garbage thread titles in that board.

Lolcow / Lolcow Name / Other Name
Lolcow "Alias" Name
lolcow might be a lolcow?
lolcow/lolcow name/other name

If you don't immediately recognize this pattern just looking at the last 400 or so lolcow forum threads you're probably mentally handicapped and would have been eaten by wolves a few hundred years ago. This shit is monkey see monkey do 101.


*Put attachments on separate lines from your post and figure out how the image proxy works.*
I can't get over how fucking lazy people are. When you insert an image into your post, don't just inline that shit in the paragraph. It looks awful. It looks really bad. Take the 3 required seconds to put a newline before an attachment or image. If people cannot mentally comprehend this concept I will be forced manually style images to break lines, which would prevent you from putting two images together or one image in a paragraph (like an unofficial emoticon).

Also, the image proxy works by downloading the image and saving it to the server. This is so that 1) lazy assholes who don't properly archive shit don't hurt us as much as they could, and 2) IP grabbing attempts are blocked.

That said, the image proxy only works if you give it an actual image. If you don't, it breaks.

This is an image URL:
https://i.imgur.com/RNnPRt3.png

This is not:
imgur.com/a/pmdmp

If you somehow cannot figure out how to get an image into the image proxy just attach it.


Thanks for reading and good luck not making garbage posts.


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## Dunsparce (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> *Stop posting reaction images.*
> And videos.
> 
> This isn't 9gag. Kill yourself. You're not funny. Unless the reaction is _really really really_ related to the topic (like, it's old lolcow content made _funnier_ because of the new context you're replying to), don't. If you're not smart enough to figure out if a reaction image is appropriate just avoid it altogether and save me the trouble.



This one is a big one for me. They're not funny, quit this shit. No one wants to see you responding to a post with a picture of some random cartoon looking grossed out. They add nothing to the discussion and are overall a lazy way to farm positive ratings. My policy has always been to delete them on sight.


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## LulzKiller (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> That said, the image proxy only works if you give it an actual image. If you don't, it breaks.
> 
> This is an image URL:
> https://i.imgur.com/RNnPRt3.png
> ...


I use direct image links just because that's how you get the standalone image, didn't realise that's how that whole proxy system works. Never got those who linked albums for single images in the first place regardless.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

LulzKiller said:


> I use direct image links just because that's how you get the standalone image, didn't realise that's how that whole proxy system works. Never got those who linked albums for single images in the first place regardless.


They literally do not understand how images work. They think they need to link the album URL, and not the .jpg/.png URL.

People should be attaching virtually everything anyways. It's critical to how we operate.


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## NQ 952 (Sep 26, 2016)

I do nothing but shitpost. Should I be worried about this referendum?


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

LordKaT said:


> I do nothing but shitpost. Should I be worried about this referendum?


If you shitpost without quoting entire OPs you're fine.


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## DuskEngine (Sep 26, 2016)

Dunsparce said:


> This one is a big one for me. They're not funny, quit this shit. No one wants to see you responding to a post with a picture of some random cartoon looking grossed out. They add nothing to the discussion and are overall a lazy way to farm positive ratings. My policy has always been to delete them on sight.



i agree people who do that should just


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## Ponderous Pillock (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> Ya'll niggas are fucking _lazy_. Seriously stop making me clean up your shit. The post quality is getting unacceptably low for even this dump and it's making reading threads I like difficult to skim.
> 
> Here's some tips on not looking like a gigantic exceptional individual. Feel free to report shit you see doing this.
> 
> ...








Did I do it right?


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## AlephOne2Many (Sep 26, 2016)

Quoting isn't really as important as some bad habits make it out to be. Just be on topic and not vague as hell. If it works for my basic level of shitposting it can work for anyone elses.


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## MrTroll (Sep 26, 2016)

You should get rid of the Featured Threads, they act as a magnet for lazy people who just want to make low-effort shitposts. I know from experience.


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## Pepsi-Cola (Sep 26, 2016)

Tbh, this forum has worse problems than most of the ones you've mentioned here (besides the part about reaction images/videos those are cancer) but, still a very well written post about proper forum etiquette.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

DuskEngine said:


> i agree people who do that should just


I don't know if this is intentional but this is also exactly what I mean by



Null said:


> *Put attachments on separate lines from your post and figure out how the image proxy works.*
> I can't get over how fucking lazy people are. When you insert an image into your post, don't just inline that shit in the paragraph. It looks awful. It looks really bad. Take the 3 required seconds to put a newline before an attachment or image. If people cannot mentally comprehend this concept I will be forced manually style images to break lines, which would prevent you from putting two images together or one image in a paragraph (like an unofficial emoticon).



In typography, each line has what's called a line height. It's usually 1.2x the natural height of the font. In instances where you inline an image (called an inline-block), the line height for that specific line bloats to the height of the image. It's really grotesque.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

Pepsi-Cola said:


> Tbh, this forum has worse problems than most of the ones you've mentioned here (besides the part about reaction images/videos those are cancer) but, still a very well written post about proper forum etiquette.


Well, go ahead and say what. I've been stretched thin lately.


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## Quijibo69 (Sep 26, 2016)

Ponderous Pillock said:


> Did I do it right?



You should feel sorry for yourself, go sit in the corner!


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## Pepsi-Cola (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> Well, go ahead and say what. I've been stretched thin lately.


It mostly boils down to people being retarted and acknowledging the fact that they're doing  things they shouldn't do in the hopes that their self-awareness makes it any better (i.e. "this is a powerlevel, but..." or "I know this will sound autistic, but...") but in the end it's probably more my fault for not reporting that kind of stuff as often.


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## Sanae Kochiya (Sep 26, 2016)

*raises hand*

Can I still quote multiple posts in lounge topics that aren't related to lolcows?

Mainly so I can just add my post to the yiffing that is requested in the Fun Adventure of Fun.


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## DuskEngine (Sep 26, 2016)

On a serious note, thanks for the clarification re: what reporting is for. I used to think that it was just for posts that egregiously went against the rules or were highly disruptive, and I kind of suspect a lot of other posters are operating under a similar assumption.


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## Lurker (Sep 26, 2016)

Pepsi-Cola said:


> It's mostly boils down to people being retarted and acknowledging the fact that they're doing  things they shouldn't do in the hopes that their self-awareness makes it any better (i.e. "this is a powerlevel, but..." or "I know this will sound autistic, but...") but in the end it's probably more my fault for not reporting that kind of stuff as often.



Eh, it's not that simple. What might sound autistic to the poster may not actually sound autistic to the reader. So the poster acknowledges that they may come off as a bit spergy, but the reality is that they don't. I think that it's ultimately pointless to tell people to stop doing it because, well, they still will. It's almost ingrained in the fucking forum culture at this point.

That being said, if someone is legit being autistic or powerleveling, then yeah, that's an issue. But I think that people tend to use these terms somewhat incorrectly, and although it's been addressed, it still happens.


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## AngeloTheWizard (Sep 26, 2016)

Pepsi-Cola said:


> It's mostly boils down to people being retarted and acknowledging the fact that they're doing  things they shouldn't do in the hopes that their self-awareness makes it any better (i.e. "this is a powerlevel, but..." or "I know this will sound autistic, but...") but in the end it's probably more my fault for not reporting that kind of stuff as often.



If you're gonna share an anecdote or say something that might be 'autistic' (with the low bar this forum has), just fucking do it. Literally no one gives a shit about your self-awareness, all it does is tempt people to slam those negative rating buttons. I've shared a few anecdotes and when I need to, I just tell the fucking story.


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## 4Macie (Sep 26, 2016)

Pepsi-Cola said:


> mostly boils down to people being retarted


I agree, some people just get too tart over the things certain lolcows do/say.

  But honestly, some people posting on these forums are just as retarded as the lolcows they're making fun of. It comes with the KiwiFarms territory I guess.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Sep 26, 2016)

AngeloTheWizard said:


> If you're gonna share an anecdote or say something that might be 'autistic' (with the low bar this forum has), just fucking do it. Literally no one gives a shit about your self-awareness, all it does is tempt people to slam those negative rating buttons. I've shared a few anecdotes and when I need to, I just tell the fucking story.



I've actually seen people get threadbanned for prefacing something with "powerlevel:" etc.  Even though I'm guilty of it a few times, I can understand why it's a bad thing.  Afterall, one of the items in the forum guidelines is explicitly: "Hide your powerlevel".  So prefacing a post like that is basically saying you know the rules but are gonna ignore them anyway.


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## multiverse (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> People should be attaching virtually everything anyways. It's critical to how we operate.


No shit, it makes me crazy looking at old threads full of broken images and "image unavailable", particularly if the post only contained the image/s in the first place. It's not hard to take screenshots and attach, y'all.


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## Darwin Watterson (Sep 26, 2016)

MrTroll said:


> You should get rid of the Featured Threads, they act as a magnet for lazy people who just want to make low-effort shitposts. I know from experience.


I don't think we should eliminate them, but they DO need to be chosen more wisely, that's for sure.

No, Chris's latest Facebook post about his stupid gender identity shouldn't be front page news. The recent new cat? Maybe. Barb dying, or new Sonichu pages? Definitely, when it happens. But I've always been of the opinion that we should scale back on featuring mundane bullcrap of his (especially when more important stuff is happening).

I've said this before, and people were like, "but it started as the CWCki Forums!" Yeah, but then we branched out. That was one of the exact reasons the name got changed in the first place.


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## AngeloTheWizard (Sep 26, 2016)

Replicant Sasquatch said:


> I've actually seen people get threadbanned for prefacing something with "powerlevel:" etc.  Even though I'm guilty of it a few times, I can understand why it's a bad thing.  Afterall, one of the items in the forum guidelines is explicitly: "Hide your powerlevel".  So prefacing a post like that is basically saying you know the rules but are gonna ignore them anyway.



And they could avoid the whole thing by just obfuscating the information. Don't say you worked at a certain company, say "I worked at a similar place" or "I worked in a (whatever) company". The rule about powerleveling is to hide intimate, identifiable details, so remove those details, and guess what? You're all good.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

Darwin Watterson said:


> I don't think we should eliminate them, but they DO need to be chosen more wisely, that's for sure.


It's automatically selected based on posts, or manually selected. Almost all Chris features are from autoselections.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Sep 26, 2016)

AngeloTheWizard said:


> And they could avoid the whole thing by just obfuscating the information. Don't say you worked at a certain company, say "I worked at a similar place" or "I worked in a (whatever) company". The rule about powerleveling is to hide intimate, identifiable details, so remove those details, and guess what? You're all good.



Yeah but it's rarely even real powerlevels.  

Which brings up another irritating phenomenon Dear Leader and the mods have discussed before: telling a relevant story of some spastic you met while working retail or some other shit like that is not powerleveling.  

Powerleveling is prefacing a post with the fact you like to fuck dogs.


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## Lurker (Sep 26, 2016)

Replicant Sasquatch said:


> Yeah but it's rarely even real powerlevels.
> 
> Which brings up another irritating phenomenon Dear Leader and the mods have discussed before: telling a relevant story of some spastic you met while working retail or some other shit like that is not powerleveling.
> 
> Powerleveling is prefacing a post with the fact you like to fuck dogs.



I think the issue is that "powerlevel" has come to mean two things. The forum's official definition of "powerlevel" is posting any intimate, personal details about yourself that would make you easy to identify. However, people also use "powerlevel" to refer to personal anecdotes.

Because I've certainly been guilty of prefacing something with "powerlevel" that isn't really a powerlevel. I think that the term has been used incorrectly by many people for so long that it's taken on two drastically different definitions, and I don't think there's much of a way to fix that, since it's been addressed several times, but nothing has really changed.


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## Darwin Watterson (Sep 26, 2016)

Null said:


> It's automatically selected based on posts, or manually selected. Almost all Chris features are from autoselections.


I know _some_ features are manual (or at least used to be) because I've had conversations with several different staff members about it. Didn't know there was an automated system for it, too. Guess that's 'cause I'm not staff.

Anyway, it seems like these shitposting lectures occur once every few months. I remember @Flowers For Sonichu had another one a short while ago. There'll probably be another one by November-ish.


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## VortekPMD (Sep 26, 2016)

I want to add, no bitchassness or a-logging. We are here to laugh at lolcows, not save them or make you feel better about your life sucking. This isn't  Jeremy Kyle.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

Darwin Watterson said:


> Anyway, it seems like these shitposting lectures occur once every few months. I remember @Flowers For Sonichu had another one a short while ago. There'll probably be another one by November-ish.


Because we get new users who don't know how to use Internet websites for some reason.


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## The Giver (Sep 26, 2016)

Darwin Watterson said:


> No, Chris's latest Facebook post about his stupid gender identity shouldn't be front page news. The recent new cat? Maybe. Barb dying, or new Sonichu pages? Definitely, when it happens. But I've always been of the opinion that we should scale back on featuring mundane bullcrap of his (especially when more important stuff is happening).


I think part of this is just unavoidable, given how (relatively) well known cows like ADF and CWC are. They are just naturally going to attract more posts per thread on average, so those threads are going to get featured decently often.

That said, while the featured threads aren't perfect, I think they are a nice way to highlight especially interesting threads. This is true for new Sonichu or Barb being kill, like you mentioned, but it is also a good way to make folks aware of other interesting threads on other boards. I don't have the time to skim every single thread on the lolcow board or look at every rat king thread, but if I see one featured I'll give it a read and see what is up.


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## John Furrman (Sep 26, 2016)

Well there goes my plan of shitposting to a thousand posts.


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## Peace and Harmony (Sep 26, 2016)

>administer forum centered around a tranny who farted on a cake
>chimp out every six weeks about lack of post quality


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## Asuka (Sep 26, 2016)

Why does a site like Kiwi Farms need rules if everyone of us spergs are too stupid to follow them?


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## AnOminous (Sep 26, 2016)

Replicant Sasquatch said:


> I've actually seen people get threadbanned for prefacing something with "powerlevel:" etc.



People should be.  It's one thing to slip up and do it, and another entirely to know you're doing it and then just do it anyway.


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## Null (Sep 26, 2016)

Peace and Harmony said:


> >administer forum centered around a tranny who farted on a cake
> >chimp out every six weeks about lack of post quality


If I allowed the forum to be complete shit you'd whine I didn't do enough. Suck it up.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Sep 26, 2016)

AnOminous said:


> People should be.  It's one thing to slip up and do it, and another entirely to know you're doing it and then just do it anyway.



Agree.  Knowing you're being a clown doesn't make being one okay.


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## Flowers For Sonichu (Sep 26, 2016)

I'm going to start tempbanning people who post reaction gifs/videos.

The OP is missing that the report feature is your personal hero &/or best friend and I will drop the hammer on some tards


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## Sanshain (Sep 27, 2016)

People seem fond of ignoring the QUOTE ME NOW option. I find it far more useful to highlight the parts of a post I'm directly responding to. Quoting the entire thing just has the reader scratching their head as to what your own comments relate to.


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## DuskEngine (Sep 27, 2016)

bismillah


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## Save Goober (Oct 2, 2016)

EverythingIsChemicals said:


> No shit, it makes me crazy looking at old threads full of broken images and "image unavailable", particularly if the post only contained the image/s in the first place. It's not hard to take screenshots and attach, y'all.


Srsly I attach out of laziness
If you're on a pc you can put the image url directly in the image upload popup. you don't even have to download and save it


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## Angeru (Aug 17, 2020)

Did anything change or did we become even worse?


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## Petronella (Aug 17, 2020)

Angeru said:


> Did anything change or did we become even worse?


You necroed a 4 year old thread to ask this. I think you know the answer.


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## Bender (Aug 18, 2020)

Petronella said:


> You necroed a 4 year old thread to ask this. I think you know the answer.


Now that someone necroed it it's alright to post here again, right?


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## (((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) (Aug 18, 2020)

Petronella said:


> You necroed a 4 year old thread to ask this. I think you know the answer.


what thread are you talking about


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## Jaded Optimist (Aug 18, 2020)

Oban Kamz said:


> what thread are you talking about


This thread you dummy.  Tbf I only noticed because I saw post and ratings by people who haven't been around in years.  So to answer @Angeru's question, no, the site still has issues with people being retards.


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## Bender (Aug 18, 2020)

Jaded Optimist said:


> This thread you dummy.  Tbf I only noticed because I saw post and ratings by people who haven't been around in years.  So to answer @Angeru's question, no, the site still has issues with people being retards.


He's not a dummy, he's a bee. Although he's not a verified bee...


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## (((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) (Aug 18, 2020)

Jaded Optimist said:


> This thread you dummy.  Tbf I only noticed because I saw post and ratings by people who haven't been around in years.  So to answer @Angeru's question, no, the site still has issues with people being retards.


what site are you talking about


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## Bender (Aug 18, 2020)

Oban Kamz said:


> what site are you talking about


Reddit, obviously. Quit your bumbly-beeing around and keep up.


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## AbyssStarer (Aug 20, 2020)

Lately there's people hiding content relevant to threads under spoilers because they either don't know or refuse to use the thumbnails button.
Problem threads for example:
Witchblr
Instagram Discourse Community
In general newfags don't know how to insert videos as media, they _don't _post screenshots and post only links, and there's a lot of posting useless shit like "what the fuck", etc. Can we get this formatting thread pinned or something? I'm really tired of this.
edited for clarity


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## Ellesse_warrior (Aug 23, 2020)

AbyssStarer said:


> Lately there's people hiding content relevant to threads under spoilers because they either don't know or refuse to use the thumbnails button.
> Problem threads for example:
> Witchblr
> Instagram Discourse Community
> ...


Is this why you posted on my profile not to put archived videos under spoilers?


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## Haramburger (Aug 24, 2020)

Ellesse_warrior said:


> Is this why you posted on my profile not to put archived videos under spoilers?


Probably, there's too many old profiles that can't figure out how to embed videos and are just slapdash attachments, and it kills our erections.


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## Ellesse_warrior (Aug 24, 2020)

Haramburger said:


> Probably, there's too many old profiles that can't figure out how to embed videos and are just slapdash attachments, and it kills our erections.


Not what I was talking about. Archiving videos directly to a thread and embedding from another site are completely different things.


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## Condicional (Sep 16, 2020)

I really need a guide about what are the other reactions in the "Like" section.
As a pretty fresh user here I don't even know what's TMI, Drink, Deviant, Semper Fidelis are, also I don't know how to correctly use Lunacy and Autistic
I didn't saw a guide about it yet if there is one. It would be helpful at least to get an idea.


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## Strange Wilderness (Sep 16, 2020)

Condicional said:


> I really need a guide about what are the other reactions in the "Like" section.
> As a pretty fresh user here I don't even know what's TMI, Drink, Deviant, Semper Fidelis are, also I don't know how to correctly use Lunacy and Autistic
> I didn't saw a guide about it yet if there is one. It would be helpful at least to get an idea.


TMI/Powerleveling: You reveal too much about your personal life in a post. No one here needs to know about how you live in your moms basement in a certain state or county and have written a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh fanfics. Some things you just want to keep private.

Drink: You like what someone says enough that you give a symbolic toast to them, or occasionally you read a post and want to down a bottle of booze to deal with what you just read

Deviant: You reveal how much of a sexual degenerate you are. Based off the smile of a former lowcow named Tyce   

Semper Fidelis: Lets sit down and talk. A few years back there was this lowcow named Jace Conors/ParkourDude91  who was a wannabe Marine obsessed with guns and the military but was in reality a drug addicted nutjob living with his mother who got involved in petty fights with his on and off again friend Tyce. He was so big he got his own forum on this site called Deagle Nation about him and his friends antics, at one point it was competing with Chris-chan himself as the dominant lolcow on the site. After a few years it was finally revealed that all of Deagle Nation was a hoax concocted by a man named Jan Rankowski and his buddies. Semper Fidels is essentialy a rating available to certain users who had accounts when Jace and Deagle Nation were one of the biggest names on the site.

Lunacy: When a lowcow or user says something incredibly stupid and absurd your first thought is that they are crazy. Used for posts where the user or the person they are sharing information on says something so stupid you think its the ramblings of a madman.

Autistic: if you can't identify autism when you see it you need to lurk more before actively posting on this site.


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## Condicional (Sep 16, 2020)

Strange Wilderness said:


> Autistic: if you can't identify autism when you see it you need to lurk more before actively posting on this site.


About Autistic I wasn't sure if it meant that the post was autistic, if what it was said was autistic, or used as sarcasm/irony. As it is kind of abstract, I'm still not sure if it means a offense like "Mad at internet" / "Dumb" to the user or if its use is like "Horrifying" and "Informative". 

By the way, thanks you for clarifying my doubts


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## Who dat? (Sep 21, 2020)

There was here someplace but I'm fucked if I can find it (so I win either way because I've spent much of my life trying to get fucked, occasionally even successfully) a kind of instruction manual on downloading and archiving video. It's getting more important. Anybody know where it is? (Not looking for "yes," looking for the link.)


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## Sammy (Sep 21, 2020)

Minor correction, but



Strange Wilderness said:


> Deviant: You reveal how much of a sexual degenerate you are. Based off the smile of a former lowcow named Tyce



Deviant has nothing to do with Tyce Andrews, leader of the Skullz and former of the McDonalds Fedurashun.  It has to do with TJ Church far as I remember.


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## Haramburger (Sep 22, 2020)

Condicional said:


> About Autistic I wasn't sure if it meant that the post was autistic, if what it was said was autistic, or used as sarcasm/irony. As it is kind of abstract, I'm still not sure if it means a offense like "Mad at internet" / "Dumb" to the user or if its use is like "Horrifying" and "Informative".
> 
> By the way, thanks you for clarifying my doubts


All three, but it's generally a neg rating.


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## Ellesse_warrior (Sep 28, 2020)

Who dat? said:


> There was here someplace but I'm fucked if I can find it (so I win either way because I've spent much of my life trying to get fucked, occasionally even successfully) a kind of instruction manual on downloading and archiving video. It's getting more important. Anybody know where it is? (Not looking for "yes," looking for the link.)


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