# 5/7/2015 Upcoming court date



## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

Chris' court date is coming up.

A bit ago, I asked what people thought would happen at this next court date. As you can see in that thread, we got a few answers that sound on target. Mostly people were saying it's going to be a non-event. But I'm still waffling on whether or not I want to go. Maybe.

Anyway, this thread is for discussing this court date and possible excursions for it.


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm pretty sure you can enter a plea at a pre-trial, which if that's what he's planning to do could very well happen. He's not working any public service or anything that could cause a necessary continuation right?


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## 4Macie (Apr 28, 2015)

I don't think this court appearence is going to be any different (or any more interesting) than the last one. So if you want to go to be the one to tell us nothing of interest happened, all the more power to ya.


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## Francis York Morgan (Apr 28, 2015)

I think he'll enter his plea at least on the upcoming date.  I can't think of any reason why he'd be granted another continuance.


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## ChurchOfGodBear (Apr 28, 2015)

Francis York Morgan said:


> I think he'll enter his plea at least on the upcoming date.  I can't think of any reason why he'd be granted another continuance.


This makes sense.  If both sides are ready, why ask for a continuance?  I know it could happen, but everyone (even the Chandlers!) seem to be on board with just getting this over as fast as possible.


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## timtommy (Apr 28, 2015)

ChurchOfGodBear said:


> This makes sense.  If both sides are ready, why ask for a continuance?  I know it could happen, but everyone (even the Chandlers!) seem to be on board with just getting this over as fast as possible.



It seems there is a bit of speculation there. We don't really know what happened last time, except that a continuance happened really quickly. 

We don't know the prosecutor's state of readiness. He could be really behind and want another month or two to shuffle through the paper work. We don't know the prosecutor's state of mind for that matter. How willing is he to plead this out and just give Chris a slap on the wrist. 

We have heard Chris is willing to plead guilty, in the interest of receiving a light sentence. Ok. But do we know if he would plead guilty if there wasn't a good deal on the table? Suppose, purely hypothetically, that he was looking 3 months in jail if he lost in trial, and all the prosecutor was offering him was 2 months in jail. What would he do then?

Also, even if he is willing to plead guilty, that doesn't mean he is eager to get it over with. If he is facing a fine or even a jail sentence, he might be happy to put that off for a month or two if he can get away with it. 

I think we have gotten to the point where we really don't know what is going to happen at this court date. Prior to the early February one, there was a lot of uninformed speculation that he was going directly to a 2 year prison sentence. More informed forum members told us that wasn't going to happen. 

I think we have gotten to the point where anything could happen. It could easily be another 2 minute discussion leading to a continuance. But it could also end up being the beginning of the end of the process. A plea entry, discussion of his sentence, statement from Chris, all kinds of fireworks.


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## ChurchOfGodBear (Apr 28, 2015)

timtommy said:


> We don't know the prosecutor's state of readiness. He could be really behind and want another month or two to shuffle through the paper work. We don't know the prosecutor's state of mind for that matter. How willing is he to plead this out and just give Chris a slap on the wrist.



All this is true.  A lot of it does depend on which side, if not both, wanted the continuance.  We had word that Chris was going to plead guilty well before the April court date, so that would suggest that the defense is as ready as it's ever going to be, and perhaps it is the prosecution that needs more time.  However, with an open-and-shut case like this, especially for a rather minor offense, I'm not sure what more they'd need to do after the next date.  I agree that there's a lot we don't know, but unless there's something really weird that hasn't come to light, I strongly think we're going to see some sort of resolution soon.



timtommy said:


> We have heard Chris is willing to plead guilty, in the interest of receiving a light sentence. Ok. But do we know if he would plead guilty if there wasn't a good deal on the table? Suppose, purely hypothetically, that he was looking 3 months in jail if he lost in trial, and all the prosecutor was offering him was 2 months in jail. What would he do then?



IMO, as a total-non-lawyer, Chris already got a pretty good plea deal right out of the gate, by being charged with unlawful release of a gas, rather than assault and battery.  Make no mistake about it, there WAS a case for A&B to be made, it just would have involved a lot more splitting of hairs than unlawful release, which is an absolute slam-dunk.  Could he plea down further?  Sure, there's nothing preventing him from trying.  But really, the prosecution already has this in the bag.  Chris would do well to not waste anyone else's time.



timtommy said:


> Also, even if he is willing to plead guilty, that doesn't mean he is eager to get it over with. If he is facing a fine or even a jail sentence, he might be happy to put that off for a month or two if he can get away with it.



Oh yeah, if you can't have instant gratification, at least delay punishment!  Chris is of course not the type to be proactive about anything, much less dealing with his obligations.  However, Chris also seems to resent having to take the time to go to court more than the punishment itself.  I think getting the court out of his hair for good is something he'd want.


timtommy said:


> I think we have gotten to the point where anything could happen. It could easily be another 2 minute discussion leading to a continuance. But it could also end up being the beginning of the end of the process. A plea entry, discussion of his sentence, statement from Chris, all kinds of fireworks.



Yeah, I agree with this as well.  It COULD be a continuance, and if it is, there's no reason for anyone to be surprised.  There IS a lot we don't know... I'm just saying from what we DO know, it looks like things have already continued as much as they'd need to be.


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## Count Olaf (Apr 28, 2015)

what I want to know is will he park in the Judge's spot again, and if he does, will Sonchu get towed?

And if it does, how much will he lose his shit?

And of course, will Operation Chriseater III commence?


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## Ruin (Apr 28, 2015)

He pleads guilty, gets a slap on the wrist and continues to tard around town.


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## GS 281 (Apr 28, 2015)

Is this going to be another one of those threads where people who think Chris won't get any punishment call the people who think he's going to jail retarded and people who think that Chris is going to jail call people who think Chris will get off scot free idiots? I think the Riots are making OP stir crazy...


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## Tsukiko (Apr 28, 2015)

yawning sneasel said:


> Is this going to be another one of those threads where people who think Chris won't get any punishment call the people who think he's going to jail retarded and people who think that Chris is going to jail call people who think Chris will get off scot free idiots?



That's a hell of a sentence

To answer your question, Chris is going to maximum security prison for a billion years also he has a gun and will shoot Cole Smithey. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an A-Log.


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

It's sad. I really want to see Christian cuffed and sent off to jail crying.


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## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

yawning sneasel said:


> Is this going to be another one of those threads where people who think Chris won't get any punishment call the people who think he's going to jail retarded and people who think that Chris is going to jail call people who think Chris will get off scot free idiots?


Well, I think we've mostly come to a consensus on those issues, at least. I'm just wondering what's going on next week.


yawning sneasel said:


> I think the Riots are making OP stir crazy...


Heh, nah, I've been meaning to go to Chris' "big" court date. I'm just having trouble figuring out which one that is (or, as it's looking now, whether there will even be one).


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## AnOminous (Apr 28, 2015)

Francis York Morgan said:


> I think he'll enter his plea at least on the upcoming date.  I can't think of any reason why he'd be granted another continuance.



He'd probably be granted a continuance if he so much as asked for one.  It would be pointless, but two continuances is no biggie.


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## GS 281 (Apr 28, 2015)

lipitor said:


> It's sad. I really want to see Christian cuffed and sent off to jail crying.


Barb will wait for him to get out. And she will have her belly dancing costume ready, too.


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## Cid Highwind (Apr 28, 2015)

A few of the possible outcomes and final comments from the Judge:

"Bailiff, whack his pee pee!"

"Castration!  Double castration!"

"On a more personal note, let me go on record as saying that there is no place in decent society for fakes, charlatans and tricksters like you who prey on the gullibility of innocent people.  You're beneath the contempt of this court.  And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the
 unalterable fetters of the law, a law which has become in my view far too permissive and inadequate in it's standards of punishment, I would invoke the tradition of our illustrious forebearers, reach back to a sterner, purer justice and have you burned at the stake!"


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Heh, nah, I've been meaning to go to Chris' "big" court date. I'm just having trouble figuring out which one that is (or, as it's looking now, whether there will even be one


I think its difficult to tell. I doubt Christian even knows. He looked surprised last time when they told him he could go home. Which probably means his PD is just handling his case with as little interaction with Christian as necessary.


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## Gensdupays (Apr 28, 2015)

So, odds of him parking in the judge's parking spot again?


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> So, odds of him parking in the judge's parking spot again?


Probably pretty good.


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## Gensdupays (Apr 28, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Probably pretty good.


It's one of the closest spots, right? Does he still have a handicapped placard and maybe he's just mistaking it for that? Or does he just not care?


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> It's one of the closest spots, right? Does he still have a handicapped placard and maybe he's just mistaking it for that? Or does he just not care?


The sign clearly says JUDGE PARKING ONLY. He's just not reading the fucking sign. He still has a handicapped tag, even though his disability is non-ambulatory.


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## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> It's one of the closest spots, right? Does he still have a handicapped placard and maybe he's just mistaking it for that? Or does he just not care?


I think it's likely he mistook it for a handicapped spot.


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## Peter Capaldi (Apr 28, 2015)

4Macie said:


> I don't think this court appearence is going to be any different (or any more interesting) than the last one. So if you want to go to be the one to tell us nothing of interest happened, all the more power to ya.


Still, it's interesting to know what happened, even if it was barely anything. Remember, any knowledge on Chris' situation is gold right now.


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## BT 075 (Apr 28, 2015)

Chris has seen more courts then many a hardened criminal.


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## Gensdupays (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> I think it's likely he mistook it for a handicapped spot.


Twice now? I assume ignorance instead of malice but still.


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## GS 281 (Apr 28, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Probably pretty good.


Maybe he thinks he is the Judge. Maybe he thinks that he can go in there, argue that because of Blue Arms he had to do what he did, and now he can be the judge of the fate of the Ass Manager. 

He has become Judge Sped.


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## AnOminous (Apr 28, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Which probably means his PD is just handling his case with as little interaction with Christian as necessary.



Hard to blame him.


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## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> Twice now? I assume ignorance instead of malice but still.


Twice?


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## Katolate (Apr 28, 2015)

At this point I think that the idea of "Court Date" being the same as "being sent to the principal's office for a scolding" is already implanted on Chris's mind.


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## Gensdupays (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Twice?


Didn't he do it the first time or am I mistaken?


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## milkshark (Apr 28, 2015)

Any court date could be "the" court date. Go if you can, and go to the next one too if you have to. I wish I could go.


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## AnOminous (Apr 28, 2015)

Katolate said:


> At this point I think that the idea of "Court Date" being the same as "being sent to the principal's office for a scolding" is already implanted on Chris's mind.



He probably doesn't even associate the court date with what he did in his mind.  It's just some completely unconnected persecution.

He's like a cat.  Unless you squirt him with water or something exactly as he's doing the bad behavior, there's no negative reinforcement.  He just doesn't even understand what's going on.


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## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> Didn't he do it the first time or am I mistaken?


I only heard about him doing it once.


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## Wizzrobe (Apr 28, 2015)

Part of me really _really_ hopes that the judge won't dick around this time. Chris should be past the point where he's allowed continuances on his case right? Either kick the autistic into jail or slap a ton of community service hours upon him and be done with it judge! No more faffing about!


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## Marvin (Apr 28, 2015)

milkshark said:


> Any court date could be "the" court date. Go if you can, and go to the next one too if you have to. I wish I could go.


Well, I'm at least aiming for an educated guess.


Wizzrobe said:


> Part of me really _really_ hopes that the judge won't dick around this time. Chris should be past the point where he's allowed continuances on his case right? Either kick the autistic into jail or slap a ton of community service hours upon him and be done with it judge! No more faffing about!


Unfortunately, I don't think they have the resources to give every criminal special attention like that. If they can wave Chris through to save five minutes, they will.


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## The Midnight Rapist (Apr 28, 2015)

Gensdupays said:


> Didn't he do it the first time or am I mistaken?


I think you're right. Someone said he parked there on both court dates.


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## Pickle Inspector (Apr 28, 2015)

Tsukiko said:


> That's a hell of a sentence
> 
> To answer your question, Chris is going to maximum security prison for a billion years also he has a gun and will shoot Cole Smithey. Anyone who thinks otherwise is an A-Log.


HE DESERVES NOTHING LESS THAN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR AND TO BE ZAPPED TO THE EXTREME!!

Seriously though thanks to whoever is going this time (And to @lipitor / @heyyyJackiePie for the coverage of the last court date), it wasn't too eventful the last time but we did get some interesting facts, photos and videos.


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## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Well, I'm at least aiming for an educated guess.
> 
> Unfortunately, I don't think they have the resources to give every criminal special attention like that. If they can wave Chris through to save five minutes, they will.



Last time we went it seemed like most of the people there were in their early 20s there on bullshit pot charges or alcohol related offenses. The judge looked completely bored and going through the motions. We'll see if a tarded tranny makes him stop to give a shit, but he sure didn't seem interested in what anyone else had to say.


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## Chipmunk With A Banana (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Chris' court date is coming up.
> 
> A bit ago, I asked what people thought would happen at this next court date. As you can see in that thread, we got a few answers that sound on target. Mostly people were saying it's going to be a non-event. But I'm still waffling on whether or not I want to go. Maybe.
> 
> Anyway, this thread is for discussing this court date and possible excursions for it.



Another continuance I'd guess. More of Chris bitching that he's been taken away from his plastic bricks and Wii for a couple of hours. He's treating this whole affair more like a trip to the dentist than something that's going to be on his record for the rest of his life.


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## DangerousGas (Apr 28, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> He's treating this whole affair more like a trip to the dentist than something that's going to be on his record for the rest of his life.


Yes, because _this _is going to be the thing that limits him for the rest of his life.


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## Wizzrobe (Apr 28, 2015)

DangerousGas said:


> Yes, because _this _is going to be the thing that limits him for the rest of his life.



Chris has been doing a mighty fine job of limiting his life both physically and socially for years on his own!


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## Anchuent Christory (Apr 28, 2015)

Satan said:


> Chris has autistic immunity. It's like diplomatic immunity, but better.


yeah, unfortunately, you can't revoke autism.

If it's true what's being said, and there's no real reason for thing to drag (no pun intended) on any longer, then I'm expecting the usual. Whoever's in charge of Chris' fate will pretty much only see a mentally handicapped and disturbed individual standing before them and hand out the inevitable wrist slap
More than likely Chris will rage about it as if it's the greatest injustice ever, but in reality it'll be nothing more than being told just to stay the fuck out of _any _Gamestop.

Any fines given to him will result in immediate Facebook begging beseeching people to buy his home craft projects.

Any community service handed out will result in a phone call to the long absent Rocky, and will be spent dicking around doing unspecified "things" for the Church.

Any prison time handed out will result in hilarity.


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## BT 075 (Apr 28, 2015)

Anchuent Christory said:


> Any prison time handed out will result in hilarity.



Hilarity? He'll be shanked with a toothbrush in two days max. Not a bad outcome, but not exactly hilarious.


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## Wizzrobe (Apr 28, 2015)

Anchuent Christory said:


> Any prison time handed out will result in hilarity.



LMAO!

If that* ever* happened to our high functioning autistic friend, I can visualize him using his trademark CURSE YEH HAMA HAAAAA attack on the judge and then get the piss shocked out of him by security!

"Go forth taser! Go forth and taze to the EXTREME!"


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## Anchuent Christory (Apr 28, 2015)

Satan said:


> Hilarity? He'll be shanked with a toothbrush in two days max. Not a bad outcome, but not exactly hilarious.


On the plus side, it may well be the only time a toothbrush has actually been inside him.


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## AnOminous (Apr 28, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Part of me really _really_ hopes that the judge won't dick around this time. Chris should be past the point where he's allowed continuances on his case right?



After just one?  Maybe after he requests seven that would be an issue, but seriously, courts are full of continuances.  They just happen.  All you have to do is ask for one.


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## Wizzrobe (Apr 28, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> After just one?  Maybe after he requests seven that would be an issue, but seriously, courts are full of continuances.  They just happen.  All you have to do is ask for one.



Wasn't his last continuance his second one?


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## gamer2014 (Apr 28, 2015)

Like many on here I thought this would definitely put Chris in the big house, but as time goes on it will probably be fine/community services or maybe 3 months tops in a minimum security jail.


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## ToroidalBoat (Apr 28, 2015)

My knowledge of how trials work is limited - why does Chris keep getting all these continuances? This happened with the October 28th incident as well.


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## Falcon Lord (Apr 28, 2015)

Chris is dumb enough to want to plead not guilty. Fortunately, he is also weak-willed enough to obey Barb and his lawyer when they tell him not to.


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## MACH-IV (Apr 28, 2015)

Community service would actually be good for him. It would get him out of the house, force him to socialize and get some exercise.


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## Cynical (Apr 28, 2015)

Maybe this sounds A-loggy, and if so, I apologize but I'd like for him to have spend a few months in jail.

And by that, I mean no access to Facebook, Legos, video games, or anything he considers fun.

In short, he needs to learn what actual punishment is like, because given the stupidity he's pulled up to this point, it's high time he learned society has rules and that breaking them has serious consequences.


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## Gensdupays (Apr 28, 2015)

MACH-IV said:


> Community service would actually be good for him. It would get him out of the house, force him to socialize and get some exercise.


We thought this in 2012, but based on lack of info I assume it was later dropped or he did something that helped the "community" and it was allowed because they just wanted him out.


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## Billy_Sama (Apr 28, 2015)

I wonder if Chris is going through some Groundhog's day mindset which he believes that the sentencing will get delayed again and again. Maybe he will let himself go during this next same old court proceeding?


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## Tookie (Apr 28, 2015)

Billy_Sama said:


> I wonder if Chris is going through some Groundhog's day mindset which he believes that the sentencing will get delayed again and again. Maybe he will let himself go during this next same old court proceeding?


Given how these trials usually proceed, it is entirely possible it will get delayed again and again.


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## Sanae Kochiya (Apr 28, 2015)

So slightly unrelated note, but since Chris seems to have embraced his new identity as "lesbian soul" Christine Christinapher (Ricarda) Weston Chandler as ordained by God(Bear) and Jesus (and some unspecified bloke that told him to get in touch with his more effeminate side), will we see some shenanigans regarding the misidentification of Chris during the trial?

It would be simultaneously hilarious and dumbfounding if Chris lashes out in public at anyone who doesn't properly refer to him as the tortured little lesbian that he now insists he is.


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## Holdek (Apr 28, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Part of me really _really_ hopes that the judge won't dick around this time. Chris should be past the point where he's allowed continuances on his case right? Either kick the autistic into jail or slap a ton of community service hours upon him and be done with it judge! No more faffing about!





ToroidalBoat said:


> My knowledge of how trials work is limited - why does Chris keep getting all these continuances? This happened with the October 28th incident as well.



The judge doesn't care.  In the scheme of things, this is a minor crime.  A felony, yes, but everyone involved assumes it's going to get pleaded down to a misdemeanor, and he'll be dealing with worse cases that day like recidivist wife beaters.  "Not dicking around" really means getting through the day's calendar, and granting a continuance so that a deal can get hammered out outside of the courtroom instead of in front of him helps that happen.

The wild card is always Chris.  Last time he was trying to get his lawyer to go to trial and expose the conspiracy by Snyder, and that didn't become public until afterwards.  But the intel suggests that's not the route he's going to go this time around.  You never know, though .



ThunderCavalier said:


> So slightly unrelated note, but since Chris seems to have embraced his new identity as "lesbian soul" Christine Christinapher (Ricarda) Weston Chandler as ordained by God(Bear) and Jesus (and some unspecified bloke that told him to get in touch with his more effeminate side), will we see some shenanigans regarding the misidentification of Chris during the trial?
> 
> It would be simultaneously hilarious and dumbfounding if Chris lashes out in public at anyone who doesn't properly refer to him as the tortured little lesbian that he now insists he is.


He got visibly upset about it last time.  One can only hope for an outburst.  He may split the difference and just let out the loudest stress sigh ever heard by man.


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## Angel Bob (Apr 28, 2015)

I predict Chris gets probation, which, if Rocky's not around anymore, will lead to several angry facebook posts bitching about having to do work, and maybe another court date related to a tempertantrum.


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## DrunkTails (Apr 28, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Chris' court date is coming up.
> 
> A bit ago, I asked what people thought would happen at this next court date. As you can see in that thread, we got a few answers that sound on target. Mostly people were saying it's going to be a non-event. But I'm still waffling on whether or not I want to go. Maybe.
> 
> Anyway, this thread is for discussing this court date and possible excursions for it.



Just remember to take the pickle suit with you if you do go.


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## Totenkopf (Apr 28, 2015)

Chris going to jail_ could_ give him the jolt to the system he needs to finally accept reality (well, probably not), but for all the posters who are wishing that upon him, that means he won't have an internet connection with which to embarrass himself for our amusement - and doesn't that seem a bit selfish? 

On that note, if Chris goes to jail, which brave soul volunteers to get themselves incarcerated in his district and keep us updated on how he's doing?

It's for a good cause, after all.


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## Konstantinos (Apr 28, 2015)

Nothing interesting will happen at this court date and Chris still won't learn anything after his verdict has been given.

After its all said and done, we'll have to wait and see how long it takes for Chris to get pegged for something even more retarded. My money is on aggravated assault with an actual weapon.


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## Arctic (Apr 28, 2015)

Konstantinos said:


> Nothing interesting will happen at this court date and Chris still won't learn anything after his verdict has been given.
> 
> After its all said and done, we'll have to wait and see how long it takes for Chris to get pegged for something even more retarded. My money is on aggravated assault with an actual weapon.


Still, they'll have to give him some form of punishment eventually.


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## Totenkopf (Apr 28, 2015)

Konstantinos said:


> After its all said and done, we'll have to wait and see how long it takes for Chris to get pegged for something even more retarded. My money is on aggravated assault with an actual weapon.



His defense will be that although he _tried_ to stab a troll with his pen-knife, it took him a full 25 seconds to flip the damn thing open, by which time he was on the ground getting the shit kicked out of him. 

That'll go over well.


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## Sweet and Savoury (Apr 28, 2015)

One thing to remember 

_If_ Chunky pleads guilty he cannot withdraw that plea if he disagrees with the sentence. 

Say he does plead guilty with no contest and the judge agrees with his plea the sentence handed out then cannot be appealed, he's stuck with whatever the judge hands downs. 

To me this is the only way he will see jail time. 

My guess is that if he pleads guilty he will get his crime busted down to a misdemeanour and get probation. 

If the judge is a bit of a hard ass or Chunky tards out a bit (unlikely, he's pretty scared IMHO) they won't move it to a misdemeanour and he will end up with a felony which does carry jail time as a minimum sentence. 

Either way, I think his next appearance could lead to sentencing becuase the cases is pretty cut and dried and he's pleading guilty.  Unless the defense or proctor asks for another continuances because they have real shit to deal with and haven't bothered talking over a 35 year olds tempter tantrum.


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## ZehnBoat (Apr 28, 2015)

i can just picture this now:
chris does what his layer says, chris is too scared to think on his own.
judge gives him a jail sentence, chris flips out.
BUT I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE, I SHOULD BE FREE!!
chris runs to the judge and attempts to curse ye ha me ha, and is tazed.
he's grabbed and dragged away, chris screaming NOOOOO and JEW.
chris spends his first day in a cell doing nothing but thinking about how sonichu would rescue him, if only...
---
tbh honest, i think chris will spend most of the time not doing anything, and if asked to speak he'd ramble about trolls and shit.
unless someone says something that makes him snap, in which case he will get mad and maybe violent.
assuming it's not just another delay. i hope that something happens this time


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## Trombonista (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm betting on another Alford plea.


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## Optimus Prime (Apr 28, 2015)

How many times can a case be issued a continuance? It's almost been half a year over this matter and it's still not settled. The amount of money this case is draining simply by being left open is way too much for anybody to truly justify over some idiot trying to play tranny to make people like him.


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## Totenkopf (Apr 28, 2015)

Optimus Prime said:


> How many times can a case be issued a continuance? It's almost been half a year over this matter and it's still not settled. The amount of money this case is draining simply by being left open is way too much for anybody to truly justify over some idiot trying to play tranny to make people like him.



An uncannily accurate metaphor of the entire US Courts system.


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## Sweet and Savoury (Apr 28, 2015)

Optimus Prime said:


> How many times can a case be issued a continuance? It's almost been half a year over this matter and it's still not settled. The amount of money this case is draining simply by being left open is way too much for anybody to truly justify over some idiot trying to play tranny to make people like him.



Continuances can be issued indefinitely as long as the judge sees merit in the reason. In reality maybe 3 times at best for something as simple as this.


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## Stud2Stud (Apr 28, 2015)

Maybe Chris just asked for continuations cause he's eager to finally find out what's going to happen at the third court date?


Spoiler



Sorry. I couldn't resist...


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## Paladin (Apr 28, 2015)

ZehnBoat said:


> i can just picture this now:
> chris does what his layer says, chris is too scared to think on his own.
> judge gives him a jail sentence, chris flips out.
> BUT I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE, I SHOULD BE FREE!!
> ...



That's ironically something that Chris might do. Not the tantrum or fighting, but the idea that he might get really pissed off at not being let go despite doing the 'right' choice like it's a video game.


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## LordCustos3 (Apr 28, 2015)

Pickle Inspector said:


> HE DESERVES NOTHING LESS THAN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR AND TO BE ZAPPED TO THE EXTREME!!



Controlled by four buttons. One button to be pressed by each member of the *Asperpedia Four*.

Anyhow.
I agree, that a continuance is probably what will happen.
Anyone who fantasizes about "justice being done" is indulging in a pipe dream.


----------



## Peter Capaldi (Apr 28, 2015)

Yep, if you're hanging on to an explosive conclusion, you'll be sorely disappointed.


----------



## Xalver (Apr 28, 2015)

It would probably be inevitable that Chris will receive some sort of jail time (home arrest being the minimum(i don't know law)) rather than fines.

it would be pretty funny if Our Pet Lolcow Somehow avoids prison (though things will probably get worse for him).


----------



## Professor Iris (Apr 28, 2015)

Ruin said:


> He pleads guilty, gets a slap on the wrist and continues to tard around town.



Chris is far too proud to admit he's at fault for anything. Or at least, that's Pre-Chris Tran we're talking about, the cross-dressing lolcow of today has no pride left to speak of.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 28, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Wasn't his last continuance his second one?



No.  The first one was just because he was in jail at the time and it was a holiday season.  They put it off themselves.  He didn't ask for it.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Apr 28, 2015)

I don't expect a final result from his next court date, but when the time finally comes, I think his priors are going to land him in jail for a little while.  Not long enough to make any difference.  It will slightly inconvenience Barb, it will mightily annoy Chris, but neither of them will be changed for the better.  Chris will be arrested again after this, probably multiple times throughout his life.  Unless of course he drives drunk, kills somebody, and goes away for 20+ years.


----------



## LordCustos3 (Apr 28, 2015)

Victor Hatherley said:


> Chris is dumb enough to want to plead not guilty. Fortunately, he is also weak-willed enough to obey Barb and his lawyer when they tell him not to.



More like he's _*arrogant*_ enough to still think he is the oppressed martyr being persecuted for [fill in the blank bullshit "reason"] and that soon he will get his revenge on everyone. It isn't that he's dumb -- though, granted, he IS dumb -- the main source of his cognitive dissonance isn't his lack of forethought/insight/social skill/mental effort.....it is his delusional belief that this is HIS WORLD and we all just live in it.



Holdek said:


> The wild card is always Chris.  Last time he was trying to get his lawyer to go to trial and expose the conspiracy by Snyder


I bet he _*still*_ believes that conspiracy theory....except now its even more convoluted and intricate. Snyder has been demoted from Supereme Mastermind to a mere pawn of the CisHet Kyriarchy.



Gengar said:


> On that note, if Chris goes to jail, which brave soul volunteers to get themselves incarcerated in his district and keep us updated on how he's doing?
> It's for a good cause, after all.



Someone could just visit him/talk with him through the phone at the bulletproof window. Make sure to understand that the cartons of Tokacky aren't weens trolling him, they are white knights sending him "currency" to save his ass.


----------



## Bluespike (Apr 28, 2015)

One of two things will likely happen
A: He gets his final verdict and something happens
B: It will just be a continuation of last time and things will pick up next month


----------



## Sarcastic Username (Apr 28, 2015)

I've said in previous appearances that there would be continuances.  Now I'm thinking the continuances are done.

Based on Marvin's reporting, he'll report guilty.  So I think there will be a plea entered, but not to necessarily finish everything.

That said, I wouldn't bet too strongly against another continuance.


----------



## blackie toy (Apr 28, 2015)

Two possibilities for this upcoming court appearance:

Another continuance with no drama.
Chris accepts a plea deal.
Should this go to trial, it won't be in May. If there's been any talking at all between the prosecutor and Chris's PD, then everyone's well aware that Chris is a difficult client to even confer with, let alone explain a plea deal. It's no skin off the prosecutor's back for it to get continued again, whereas getting a conviction when Chris's PD isn't even remotely ready to defend him (which is likely, as a result of Chris being just about impossible to work with) is going to either lead to an appeal or just generate needless bad blood between the prosecutors and PDs.

I'm not saying they're all in bed with each other, but there's definitely professional courtesy. And this is a low-profile case.


----------



## Gothicserpent (Apr 28, 2015)

What I want: Chris to throw a tantrum and make fool of himself in court. 

What will most likely happen: Chris will receive a small fine and community service.


----------



## Totenkopf (Apr 28, 2015)

I hope he calls someone a 'Jew' in court.

That's all I want.


----------



## Trombonista (Apr 28, 2015)

Gengar said:


> I hope he calls someone a 'Jew' in court.
> 
> That's all I want.


He's more likely to use "Male" as an insult.


----------



## kobebyarlant (Apr 28, 2015)

Upcoming court dates always lead to upcoming disappointment.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Apr 28, 2015)

It's been four long months.  I seriously wonder if he remembers the events clearly at this point.  Something something BLUE ARMS something something ARRESTED something something  something.


----------



## FapCupFanta (Apr 28, 2015)

I've seen a few people talk about the possibility of jail time for Chris. Based on his rather unique mental state, would they put Chris up in a facility that specializes in abnormal psych prisoners? If not, would the prison force him into PC instead of risking him being housed with a cellmate?


----------



## TrippinKahlua (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm shocked to see it is Marvin who is now hyping up the upcoming trial.

I'm not American, so I guess I'm safe to think that the justice system is pretty messy (though, hey. Our justice system more or less is similar... so blah). I just don't see whats the point of these procrastinations regarding Chris's punishment.

We all are dying to know what the justice system will finally have in store for him for all the Jerkop insults and misdeeds at Git-Tar.

Enough hold up.


----------



## Holdek (Apr 28, 2015)

trombonista said:


> I'm betting on another Alford plea.


Did he Alford plea last time?


----------



## Trombonista (Apr 28, 2015)

Holdek said:


> Did he Alford plea last time?


Pretty much.


----------



## Totenkopf (Apr 28, 2015)

Your honor, I'd like to submit as evidence into the record *Exhibit A* - _Don't Trust Any Homos Over There. _

_



_
The Prosecution rests.


----------



## TrippinKahlua (Apr 28, 2015)

I just want to Chris to have a total halt in his reality and realize that on that day, HE ISN'T GOING TO GET HIS WAY.

A-Log me if you want to, but he just needs to not get leniency this time!


----------



## Holdek (Apr 28, 2015)

Optimus Prime said:


> How many times can a case be issued a continuance? It's almost been half a year over this matter and it's still not settled.



It depends on the circumstances.  For example, in a civil case where the plaintiff has an interest a quick judgement (like an eviction), there can be counter-pressure to deny continuances if it seems they are being used capriciously or as a delaying tactic.  With criminal trials, though, cases can be continued for months or even years.  Defendants will often do this as a distancing strategy so that witnesses move away or die, memories become fuzzy, etc., and there's less counter-pressure because the prosecutor has no financial skin in the game and the denial of a continuance could be an argument to overturn judgement on appeal.   At a certain point though the judge will schedule trial, so you can't have as many as you want forever and ever.



Optimus Prime said:


> The amount of money this case is draining simply by being left open is way too much for anybody to truly justify over some idiot trying to play tranny to make people like him.





Gengar said:


> An uncannily accurate metaphor of the entire US Courts system.



It costs a lot less money to issue multiple continuances and then approve a plea deal than to go through an entire trial process, especially if the defendant demands a jury (which Chris is entitled to under these charges).  This is one of the main reasons very few cases go to trial.


----------



## Alec Benson Leary (Apr 28, 2015)

^I really want to hear Chris try to pronounce "placard".


----------



## Holdek (Apr 28, 2015)

TrippinKahlua said:


> I just want to Chris to have a total halt in his reality and realize that on that day, HE ISN'T GOING TO GET HIS WAY.
> 
> A-Log me if you want to, but he just needs to not get leniency this time!


----------



## Lipitor (Apr 28, 2015)

I'm trying to work it out so I can go, but if someone else wants to rise to the challenge that'd be great too.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Apr 29, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I'm trying to work it out so I can go, but if someone else wants to rise to the challenge that'd be great too.



Since the judge posts here, we shouldn't have to worry too much about it.


----------



## DoctorButler (Apr 29, 2015)

"Where's Mommy"

"Chris maced mommy"


----------



## deeman (Apr 29, 2015)

Where's the popcorn?


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (Apr 29, 2015)

I think a fine would cause Chunky more pain then a few weekends in jail which is about the most I think we can expect.  He can ask to serve his time on weekends because he's solo caretaker of and elderly person.

If he does go to jail it will stop him from spending his tug so when he gets out he'll have a nice big chunk to blow on Lego's.  

If he's hit with a fine, the lowest seems to be around $2,000 US, that will consume any play money for 6 to 8 months.  So no new Lego's or "good food" as long as the courts are taking their share of the tug.  To Chris; I think this would cause more grief  then some few weekends in jail.


----------



## Delicious Stickmeat (Apr 29, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> I think a fine would cause Chunky more pain then a few weekends in jail which is about the most I think we can expect.  He can ask to serve his time on weekends because he's solo caretaker of and elderly person.
> 
> If he does go to jail it will stop him from spending his tug so when he gets out he'll have a nice big chunk to blow on Lego's.
> 
> If he's hit with a fine, the lowest seems to be around $2,000 US, that will consume any play money for 6 to 8 months.  So no new Lego's or "good food" as long as the courts are taking their share of the tug.  To Chris; I think this would cause more grief  then some few weekends in jail.



If he's sentenced to longer than a month in lockup, they take away the tugboat.  I may be wrong, but they might not figure his disability payments as an "income" when it comes to assessing a fine.


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (Apr 29, 2015)

You do have a good point. 

If he does end up in jail he won't be given the tug for that time. However to lose and have to reapply for the tug he would have to be in jail for 12 months straight which I think is unlikely. 

Can Barb make things work if Chrissy tug goes missing for a month or two I wonder?


----------



## GS 281 (Apr 29, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> You do have a good point.
> 
> If he does end up in jail he won't be given the tug for that time. However to lose and have to reapply for the tug he would have to be in jail for 12 months straight which I think is unlikely.
> 
> Can Barb make things work if Chrissy tug goes missing for a month or two I wonder?


They are of Chandler blood and are flush with Dali painting money, of course they can.

Chris will come out of jail looking like a buff lesbian and the Ronda Rousey Saga will begin.


----------



## ChuckSlaughter (Apr 29, 2015)

yawning sneasel said:


> Is this going to be another one of those threads where people who think Chris won't get any punishment call the people who think he's going to jail retarded and people who think that Chris is going to jail call people who think Chris will get off scot free idiots?


Really I think this is because everyone has their own idea about how things are going to go down, I think chris could get off with almost no punishment.  I also think he could go to jail.  It's somewhat iffy in a case like this already but there are a bunch of wildcards here too:

Chris
Barb
How much the public defender gives a rip
How much the prosecution gives a rip
How much the judge gives a rip
#1 and #2 can act as multipliers against 3 4 and 5.   There is no denying that chris may be able to successfully play the autism card and there is no denying that people more sane and composed than chris have managed to get in lots of trouble running their mouths in court.  I know barely anything about the courts but I know both of those things to be true.



Marvin said:


> Unfortunately, I don't think they have the resources to give every criminal special attention like that. If they can wave Chris through to save five minutes, they will.



Unless you're personally insulted that some unimportant moron in a mumu disrespected your hard earned judgeness by parking in your hard earned spot and how fucking dare he on his own court date! Maybe you were going to let him off but on top of it he keeps sighing like you're wasting his precious time and you can't take away a month of his life like nothing.



Gengar said:


> On that note, if Chris goes to jail, which brave soul volunteers to get themselves incarcerated in his district and keep us updated on how he's doing?



Lots of people have expressed that they don't want him to go to jail because it will rob us of his content.  It's not true at all, chris will now have nothing to do except mailbag!


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 29, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> If he's hit with a fine, the lowest seems to be around $2,000 US, that will consume any play money for 6 to 8 months.  So no new Lego's or "good food" as long as the courts are taking their share of the tug.  To Chris; I think this would cause more grief  then some few weekends in jail.



If he's convicted of the worst possible thing, a class 6 felony, this is the potential penalty:



> § 18.2-10. Punishment for conviction of felony; penalty.
> 
> The authorized punishments for conviction of a felony are:
> 
> ...



I think the worst likely conviction is misdemeanor, though.  As I've pointed out earlier, the unlawful release of gas charge is a "wobbler," which can be prosecuted and/or convicted and/or punished as a felony or as a misdemeanor.  The main impact of this would be the incarceration part of the sentence would be limited to "not more than 12 months," just as if it had been prosecuted as a misdemeanor.



Delicious Stickmeat said:


> If he's sentenced to longer than a month in lockup, they take away the tugboat.  I may be wrong, but they might not figure his disability payments as an "income" when it comes to assessing a fine.



As has been noted repeatedly, they don't take away SSI to punish you.  But as you are being supported by the state, you don't get the windfall of getting to continue to collect it while behind bars for longer than a month.  So it's suspended for the duration, not taken away.


----------



## Dr. Tremolo (Apr 29, 2015)

I'd make a third (court) date joke but somebody already did.
So what if Chris resists arrest?





_Five years for what you did! The rest because you tried to run!_


----------



## timtommy (Apr 29, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> I think a fine would cause Chunky more pain then a few weekends in jail which is about the most I think we can expect.  He can ask to serve his time on weekends because he's solo caretaker of and elderly person.
> 
> If he does go to jail it will stop him from spending his tug so when he gets out he'll have a nice big chunk to blow on Lego's.
> 
> If he's hit with a fine, the lowest seems to be around $2,000 US, that will consume any play money for 6 to 8 months.  So no new Lego's or "good food" as long as the courts are taking their share of the tug.  To Chris; I think this would cause more grief  then some few weekends in jail.



Maybe. Chris seems to find jail a very trying experience, based on his description of the post-hit and run incarceration. Although that time might have been exacerbated by the uncertainty of the future. If he knows that if he sits there for a few days he will then be able to leave for sure, that might help him emotionally.

He can come up with $2000 in a couple weeks if he launches a new eBay product. It won't have to affect his lifestyle. Although, he might go snaky watching all of that potential lego and toys money flow out the door.

Basically, I am fairly sure Chris' punishment will be relatively minor. How he deals with it emotionally is a bit of a wild-card. I would have initially guessed he would be angry and hurt about the slightest slap on the wrist. But Marvin tells us that he is pretty scared about this whole thing. Given that, it seems possible that if he gets a small punishment, whether it is a fine or a few days/weeks in jail, he might think "phew, this could have been a lot worse", and do the punishment fairly quietly and calmly.


----------



## KaiserC (Apr 29, 2015)

timtommy said:


> Given that, it seems possible that if he gets a small punishment, whether it is a fine or a few days/weeks in jail, he might think "phew, this could have been a lot worse",* and do the punishment fairly quietly and calmly.*



http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Chores


----------



## Totenkopf (Apr 29, 2015)

The assumption that giving Chris community service is no big deal is false as long as he is forced to do _actual community service. _

A previous poster mentioned that he might not be able to do it at his church. If this is true, no doubt he will throw a temper tantrum while 'working' and end up back in court. 

Chris is a magician - using the power of his mind he can turn simple community service into more jail time! Voila~


----------



## Tsukiko (Apr 29, 2015)

I think Chris will pepper spray the judge while Barb yells about q-sands and then Kengle will shoot Cole Smithey


----------



## Male Idiot (Apr 29, 2015)

Gengar said:


> The assumption that giving Chris community service is no big deal is false as long as he is forced to do _actual community service. _
> 
> A previous poster mentioned that he might not be able to do it at his church. If this is true, no doubt he will throw a temper tantrum while 'working' and end up back in court.
> 
> Chris is a magician - using the power of his mind he can turn simple community service into more jail time! Voila~



Would he not just do it in a really shitty way? Could he be punished for doing it very badly? I'm not good with US court systems.


----------



## ZehnBoat (Apr 29, 2015)

timtommy said:


> If he knows that if he sits there for a few days he will then be able to leave for sure, that might help him emotionally.





> Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.


----------



## Totenkopf (Apr 29, 2015)

Male Idiot said:


> Would he not just do it in a really shitty way? Could he be punished for doing it very badly? I'm not good with US court systems.



I'm assuming that whatever service he is assigned to would have experience with this type of situation before and the supervisor would keep a log of how Chris is doing. He could do a shitty job and the supervisor would no doubt go into detail about what a pain in the ass he is.

Whether or not that would have any bearing on his sentence at all I don't know.


----------



## theobservdr (Apr 29, 2015)

I am wondering why there is so many continuations to this though? Is Chris saying or doing something that makes it a continuation?

Like one thing that is going on in my city is if inmates have a medical condition,  it is influencing sentencing in the court and there are concerns over it. Which is strange because the judge in my city, actually  is a very strict judge, lawyers here call him 'the hanging judge' 

Which brings me back to Chris, is he using the autism card to force a continuation in the court thus delaying a judgment to be handed to him?


----------



## Marvin (Apr 29, 2015)

TaterBot said:


> @Marvin Do you think there's a chance he'd recognize you if you went to court?


Heh, he has trouble recognizing people he claims to be in love with. I can't imagine he'd recognize someone he met with for about 5 minutes, six years ago.


TaterBot said:


> Will you take your Charlottesville confederate with you if you go?


Haha, well, possibly. But I wouldn't call them confederates. I just know some people in the Charlottesville area.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Apr 29, 2015)

Marvin said:


> I can't imagine he'd recognize someone he met with for about 5 minutes, six years ago.


Wear the pickle suit and see what happens.


----------



## DoctorButler (Apr 29, 2015)

No matter how much Chris tries to project blame on his autism, or how much the court wants to rush him through, he's still a repeat offender.

That's likely to have bearing on his sentence.


----------



## Lefty's Revenge (Apr 29, 2015)

lipitor said:


> It's sad. I really want to see Christian cuffed and sent off to jail crying.





yawning sneasel said:


> Is this going to be another one of those threads where people who think Chris won't get any punishment call the people who think he's going to jail retarded and people who think that Chris is going to jail call people who think Chris will get off scot free idiots? I think the Riots are making OP stir crazy...



I think on some level, most of us want to see Chris suffer some sort of immediate consequence for his actions. Thats why these threads keep happening. But Chris wouldn't be Chris if he fully understood why he was completely and utterly in the wrong in this whole situation.

Me, personally, I just want fireworks. I want him to have to take the stand or something and sperg about blue arms in front of a jury of his peers and come to the hearing dressed like Pepper Ann.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 29, 2015)

Lefty's Revenge said:


> I think on some level, most of us want to see Chris suffer some sort of immediate consequence for his actions.



The only way that would have happened is if someone had administered a beatdown to him literally as he sprayed that guy.

It's like punishing a cat.  Chris does not understand that his current situation is connected to his previous actions except in the most rudimentary sense.  He may get some slap on the wrist or even a custodial sentence of some sort, but he will never, ever understand why.

It's like he's living an autistic, retarded version of Kafka's The Trial.


----------



## Wizzrobe (Apr 29, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> The only way that would have happened is if someone had administered a beatdown to him literally as he sprayed that guy.
> 
> It's like punishing a cat.  Chris does not understand that his current situation is connected to his previous actions except in the most rudimentary sense.  He may get some slap on the wrist or even a custodial sentence of some sort, but he will never, ever understand why.
> 
> It's like he's living an autistic, retarded version of Kafka's The Trial.



That's what bugs me the most. WHY did no one try to tackle Chris to the ground as he was fleeing the mall on that day? I'd be beyond pissed that some fat guy dressed like a wannabe drag queen who hates Sonic Boom pepper sprayed me as he was fleeing the scene!


----------



## ZehnBoat (Apr 29, 2015)

i think chris knows full well why he is in court.
this is something big, and chris can't forget it.
the thing is, chris thinks what he did was right, in fact, i'm sure he thinks his actions are to be celebrated.
he had every right to destroy property, he had every right to pepper spray someone, he didn't deserve to have someone call the cops on him.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 29, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> That's what bugs me the most. WHY did no one try to tackle Chris to the ground as he was fleeing the mall on that day? I'd be beyond pissed that some fat guy dressed like a wannabe drag queen who hates Sonic Boom pepper sprayed me as he was fleeing the scene!



I don't know about those people, but it's against my religion to come into physical contact with a smelly crazy guy that close to Christmas.

Or any other day for that matter.


----------



## Quijibo69 (Apr 29, 2015)

I can't wait to see his court date pushed another month. I'll be shocked if he goes to jail but if he does I'll donate 20 bucks to Autism Speaks!


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Apr 29, 2015)

ZehnBoat said:


> i think chris knows full well why he is in court.
> this is something big, and chris can't forget it.
> the thing is, chris thinks what he did was right, in fact, i'm sure he thinks his actions are to be celebrated.
> he had every right to destroy property, he had every right to pepper spray someone, he didn't deserve to have someone call the cops on him.


This is consistent with his previous court appearance where he didn't seem to understand the concept of him being a defendant. At one point he even seemed to have it in his head that the judge would punish Snyder and reward him.

His ego and entitlement will never allow him to see his actions as wrong, so it's no longer about teaching him that, it's now about teaching him to be scared of "defending" himself with no considerations given to how sulky he gets about the whole thing.


----------



## kobebyarlant (Apr 29, 2015)

April 2nd, 2015 is the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly fuck up sending an lolcow to court? While my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of the gas station, the unfortunate reality is that the April 2nd court date will be around. Forever. It will never go away. It can never be undone.

Edit: Wow... I'll make sure to make my references more hamfisted for the kiwifarm's more autistic members from now on.


----------



## stets (Apr 29, 2015)

kobebyarlant said:


> April 2nd, 2015 is the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly fuck up sending an lolcow to court? While my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of the gas station, the unfortunate reality is that the April 2nd court date will be around. Forever. It will never go away. It can never be undone.



Wow, looks like someone's done a lot of bath salts today.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (Apr 29, 2015)

kobebyarlant said:


> April 2nd, 2015 is the most disappointing thing since my son. I mean, how much more could you possibly fuck up sending an lolcow to court? While my son eventually hanged himself in the bathroom of the gas station, the unfortunate reality is that the April 2nd court date will be around. Forever. It will never go away. It can never be undone.



In all seriousness, Chris would end up costing more than what it's worth for him to be incarcerated. He has a public defender who's most likely far overworked and has a lot more important cases than defending someone who sperged out about a video game character's arm color and sprayed pepper spray on some guy's shirt, the judge has AA sentencing to hand out all day (plus his spot keeps getting parked in on top of that ), there's a probation officer out there waiting to be paid $50 a month to keep Chris in check, and there's a disgruntled DES worker who would have to do a stack of paper work to remove Chris's tugboat if he goes to jail.
It will upset the delicate ecosystem of justice.

But no, seriously. It's just not worth it. That's why he isn't there.


----------



## asperhes (Apr 29, 2015)

stets said:


> Wow, looks like someone's done a lot of bath salts today.



It's a reference. Harry S. Plinkett, movie reviewer.


----------



## timtommy (Apr 29, 2015)

Anchuent Christory said:


> This is consistent with his previous court appearance where he didn't seem to understand the concept of him being a defendant. At one point he even seemed to have it in his head that the judge would punish Snyder and reward him.
> 
> His ego and entitlement will never allow him to see his actions as wrong, so it's no longer about teaching him that, it's now about teaching him to be scared of "defending" himself with no considerations given to how sulky he gets about the whole thing.



It seems that he realizes that he can't do what he did. 

He seems to regret it, even if that is mostly because he could face consequences. To be fair to him, if I did something which didn't hurt someone badly but could land me in jail, my main source of regret would be for fucking myself over too.

I suppose that ideally he would feel guilty about the action itself, but I think realizing what he did is unacceptable and he has to check himself in the future is a pretty close second. And the consensus from insiders is that he has realized that.

As for wanting to see him go to jail, I will put myself in the camp of not wanting that. Not that I think there is anything wrong with people who want him to go to jail for a little bit. (Although if you think he should go to prison for years I would suggest you have a weird perspective on justice). I just think it would be a miserable experience for him with little gain. I think it would increase his perception of himself as a victim without teaching him a lesson he hasn't already learned. 

I think ideally he would get a few mandatory counselling sessions. He has some serious shit going on, and therapy is his only hope. He doesn't look like he is going on his own any time soon, so he needs to be forced.

Second best in my eyes is some community service that he actually has to do. Get him out into the world. Give him a schedule and some responsibilities he can handle. I have always thought that Chris getting a job would be the best thing for him, and community service could be an approximation of that, if only for a little while.

I would put a fine third and jail time fourth. I don't see them doing him much good except for attaching a consequence to an action in his mind. I would rather see him get that through a fine than through the misery of jail-time. But maybe I am a softie.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (Apr 29, 2015)

timtommy said:


> Second best in my eyes is some community service that he actually has to do. Get him out into the world. Give him a schedule and some responsibilities he can handle. I have always thought that Chris getting a job would be the best thing for him, and community service could be an approximation of that, if only for a little while.



Community service would be perfect. He would complain about it and make it into a bigger deal than it was for sure, so we would have bitching Facebook posts, as well as Chris learning a shred of responsibility and potentially meeting people. Two birds, one stone.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Apr 29, 2015)

Anchuent Christory said:


> At one point he even seemed to have it in his head that the judge would punish Snyder and reward him.



I think someone was saying that Chris actually thought that (as a defendant) he would win the case, and not only would Snyder be punished, but that he was also convinced that he was going to be awarded the Game Place.


----------



## Atlas 95 (Apr 29, 2015)

Bronchitis that Lingers said:


> Community service would be perfect. He would complain about it and make it into a bigger deal than it was for sure, so we would have bitching Facebook posts, as well as Chris learning a shred of responsibility and potentially meeting people. Two birds, one stone.


Except he'd go crawling back to Rocky and she'd sign off on him doing next to nothing like she did last time
Or, at least that's what I'd assume would happen. Is Rocky still even in the picture anymore? Would she still be willing to help Chris out like that?


----------



## Gensdupays (Apr 29, 2015)

Bronchitis that Lingers said:


> Chris learning a shred of responsibility and potentially meeting people. Two birds, one stone.



Not happening. I'd doubt if they even enforced actual community service.



Atlas 95 said:


> Except he'd go crawling back to Rocky and she'd sign off on him doing next to nothing like she did last time
> Or, at least that's what I'd assume would happen. Is Rocky still even in the picture anymore? Would she still be willing to help Chris out like that?


He'll probably try to get the head of some local LGBT group to sign off or something, if Rocky doesn't after he shows up. He hasn't seen her in like two years, hasn't he? He'd still try.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Apr 29, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> I think someone was saying that Chris actually thought that (as a defendant) he would win the case, and not only would Snyder be punished, but that he was also convinced that he was going to be awarded the Game Place.


yeah, that's what I was referring to,  possibly a Jackie email?  it's almost like he views the court process as being like a parent sitting two siblings down, listening to both sides of the story then sending one to their room whilst the other gets extra pudding.



timtommy said:


> It seems that he realizes that he can't do what he did.
> 
> He seems to regret it, even if that is mostly because he could face consequences. To be fair to him, if I did something which didn't hurt someone badly but could land me in jail, my main source of regret would be for fucking myself over too.


I think it's more that he regrets the fact that his actions have had consequences that adversely effect him, I believe he still feels hard done by.



timtommy said:


> As for wanting to see him go to jail, I will put myself in the camp of not wanting that. Not that I think there is anything wrong with people who want him to go to jail for a little bit. (Although if you think he should go to prison for years I would suggest you have a weird perspective on justice). I just think it would be a miserable experience for him with little gain. I think it would increase his perception of himself as a victim without teaching him a lesson he hasn't already learned.


An ideal ( and unrealistic) outcome would be a judge who is keyed into what makes him tick and realises that Chris needs to be scared into behaving himself, say give him a week in some sort of very low security detention.
It will be ultimately harmless, but from his perspective terrifying



timtommy said:


> I think ideally he would get a few mandatory counselling sessions. He has some serious shit going on, and therapy is his only hope. He doesn't look like he is going on his own anytime soon, so he needs to be forced.


I reckon he'd need a counsellor to genuinely take an active interest in him and genuinely try to reach out to him. He's been assigned counseling before but it's just to assess if he's a danger or not. He goes to the sessions, boxes are ticked, and that's that.



timtommy said:


> Second best in my eyes is some community service that he actually has to do. Get him out into the world. Give him a schedule and some responsibilities he can handle. I have always thought that Chris getting a job would be the best thing for him, and community service could be an approximation of that, if only for a little while.


I've always believed a job could be enormously beneficial to Chris as I think a lot of his incidents spawn from being so bored with his life that he has fuck all else to do but loiter and make a nuisance of himself.
But there's no getting away from the fact that the moment he's told to do something he doesn't want to do, hits on a female colleague, or answers back to an authority figure, it's back to square one again.

Yes, a job can improve Chris, but Chris has to improve before a job is viable. Catch 22


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## AnOminous (Apr 29, 2015)

timtommy said:


> As for wanting to see him go to jail, I will put myself in the camp of not wanting that. Not that I think there is anything wrong with people who want him to go to jail for a little bit. (Although if you think he should go to prison for years I would suggest you have a weird perspective on justice).



I seriously doubt it would harm him much to go to jail for a couple weeks or a month or two.  It might shake him out of whatever rut he's in.

This isn't even "he deserves it" or whatever.  I just think it may be his only chance to shake his way out of his spiral toward oblivion.


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## Totenkopf (Apr 29, 2015)

In my not at all qualified or certified psychological opinion, he needs a mentor. All of these punishments and consequences are being inflicted on him by, _to him_, faceless authority figures who don't understand him. After all, if they did understand him, they'd understand he was totally justified, right?

Anyone who criticizes or even tries to help him is, in his mind, categorized as a troll or meanie doo-doo head. What he needs is an adult that is willing to work with him and willing to put in the time to (somehow, god knows how) build a relationship with him.

He needs someone who is willing to be patient and give him the _positive reinforcement_ he needs to be nudged in the right direction. That also means that when Chris requires being corrected or called out on his bullshit, it will be coming from someone he realizes isn't solely there to upset him.

The two obvious wrenches in this plan is the fact _nobody_ is going to be that patient with him, and also that Chris himself is a tough nut to crack in terms of gaining trust, especially if he knows you won't fuck him. If this person is assigned to him by the court, Chris would be even less likely to listen.

Still, he needs a fucking father. Bob was by no means as dysfunctional as Barb, but he was in over his head. Chris needs to be broken of his childish reality, but also needs the constructive support required to transition him to a functional adult.

I don't see this happening, obviously. This is a hypothetical best case scenario.

If you _really_ want a hypothetical best case scenario you'd just go back in time and force his autistic toddler ass into goddamn treatment like he should have in the first place.


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## The Man With No Name (Apr 29, 2015)

Gengar said:


> In my not at all qualified or certified psychological opinion, he needs a mentor.



Chris would need Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed taking shifts to try and make him an understanding, peaceful human being. Any singular human, barring Biblical, god-like patience would go insane trying to grapple with the backwards logic, narcissism, and victim complexes that are so ingrained in Chris that they're now his main personality traits.


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## Marvin (Apr 29, 2015)

Gengar said:


> In my not at all qualified or certified psychological opinion, he needs a mentor. All of these punishments and consequences are being inflicted on him by, _to him_, faceless authority figures who don't understand him. After all, if they did understand him, they'd understand he was totally justified, right?
> 
> Anyone who criticizes or even tries to help him is, in his mind, categorized as a troll or meanie doo-doo head. What he needs is an adult that is willing to work with him and willing to put in the time to (somehow, god knows how) build a relationship with him.
> 
> ...


Chris is more aware than this. The cwcki's cartoonish perception of Chris is mostly a joke. Don't take it seriously.


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## Totenkopf (Apr 29, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Chris is more aware than this. The cwcki's cartoonish perception of Chris is mostly a joke. Don't take it seriously.



He _is_ going to court because he assaulted a Gamestop employee over the color of Sonic the Hedgehog's arms...


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## General Juicer (Apr 30, 2015)

The Man With No Name said:


> Chris would need Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammed taking shifts to try and make him an understanding, peaceful human being. Any singular human, barring Biblical, god-like patience would go insane trying to grapple with the backwards logic, narcissism, and victim complexes that are so ingrained in Chris that they're now his main personality traits.


I have relatives who are bigger pieces of shit than Chris that get attentive counseling and mentorship and even training for volunteer work or actual jobs. Chris is nothing.

Now, turning Chris into a functioning member of society (let alone an actualized human being) is like trying to skate uphill on an iced-over road. But a halfway decent counselor or therapist could at least stop Chris from continually sabotaging himself.


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## Lipitor (Apr 30, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> I seriously doubt it would harm him much to go to jail for a couple weeks or a month or two.  It might shake him out of whatever rut he's in.
> 
> This isn't even "he deserves it" or whatever.  I just think it may be his only chance to shake his way out of his spiral toward oblivion.


Seriously this, it's not his first offense, and all his offenses have been violent. You're sending a precedent he can play the autism card anytime he gets in trouble. He sees the half a day he spent in jail as time out. Fear is the only thing that can influence him to not act out. I'm not A-logging him, it's just an appropriate punishment.

He'll probably get community service and just waste everyones' time causing more trouble than he was worth. Then go on to find a new completely pussy way to attack someone 2 years down the line.


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## PacSol (Apr 30, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> That's what bugs me the most. WHY did no one try to tackle Chris to the ground as he was fleeing the mall on that day? I'd be beyond pissed that some fat guy dressed like a wannabe drag queen who hates Sonic Boom pepper sprayed me as he was fleeing the scene!



Disclaimer: Not a lawyer.

Because, in general, laws on self-defense state that force can only be used against someone who is an imminent threat (ie actively attacking) and only to the extent necessary to prevent further harm (ie no kicking someone while they're down or attacking someone who's already been restrained or is in retreat). Regardless of what the aggressor did or what any reasonable person would conclude he deserves, if he surrenders or retreats, they are no longer an imminent threat and you are legally obligated to stop using force against him. The law is written in this way in order to discourage fights escalating to potentially lethal levels, as well as to discourage idiots and sociopaths from using "self-defense" as an excuse to pummel people into hamburger.

It's a cowardly act to be sure, and I certainly wouldn't convict the employee for feeding Chris a well-deserved knuckle sandwich, but as far as the law's concerned, the fight was over as soon as Fatso stopped spraying and continued to waddle away.


----------



## Yawning Asperchu (Apr 30, 2015)

PacSol said:


> Disclaimer: Not a lawyer.
> 
> Because, in general, laws on self-defense state that force can only be used against someone who is an imminent threat (ie actively attacking) and only to the extent necessary to prevent further harm (ie no kicking someone while they're down or attacking someone who's already been restrained or is in retreat). Regardless of what the aggressor did or what any reasonable person would conclude he deserves, if he surrenders or retreats, they are no longer an imminent threat and you are legally obligated to stop using force against him. The law is written in this way in order to discourage fights escalating to potentially lethal levels, as well as to discourage idiots and sociopaths from using "self-defense" as an excuse to pummel people into hamburger.
> 
> It's a cowardly act to be sure, and I certainly wouldn't convict the employee for feeding Chris a well-deserved knuckle sandwich, but as far as the law's concerned, the fight was over as soon as Fatso stopped spraying and continued to waddle away.



This is what I was gonna say.  Plus I doubt too many bystanders would've been willing to tackle or get near Chris that day; he looked like a complete psychopath (moreso than usual) with or without the pepper spray.


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## BF 388 (Apr 30, 2015)

Gengar said:


> In my not at all qualified or certified psychological opinion, he needs a mentor. All of these punishments and consequences are being inflicted on him by, _to him_, faceless authority figures who don't understand him. After all, if they did understand him, they'd understand he was totally justified, right?
> 
> Anyone who criticizes or even tries to help him is, in his mind, categorized as a troll or meanie doo-doo head. What he needs is an adult that is willing to work with him and willing to put in the time to (somehow, god knows how) build a relationship with him.
> 
> ...



He needed all of that from the moment he slid out of Blarbs orifice. Instead he was denied it by the ignorance and arrogance of his parents, and has been negatively reinforced for the vast majority of his life. The only hint of forcing him to comply was his school years and the odd time when Bob made him to do something. He had potential, and thats's why he glorifies that time so much.

He does have a certain intelligence and I have no doubt he could have been a useful member of society, but currently he'd need to be shackled to any effort to rehabilitate him, and hit with a cattle prod everytime until he learnt (not literally of course...ok maybe), and it would take a few years of hard therapy work to undo the damage and allow him to live as full a life as possible.

I say from observing the case of a relative who is older and even less developed than Chris and who exhibited many of the same behaviours.


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## CWCissey (Apr 30, 2015)

Here's my prediction.

Chris goes for another continuance, the judge rolls their eyes then yells 'NO! THIS WILL NOT DO! THE KIWI FARMS DEMAND ENTERTAINMENT!' then orders the bailiffs to hold him down, hose him, cut his hair, put him in some man clothes, then shove him into prison for 200+ years for contempt of court or some shit, where he will get buttfucked by angry black guys, all while taping his screams.


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## timtommy (Apr 30, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Seriously this, it's not his first offense, and all his offenses have been violent. You're sending a precedent he can play the autism card anytime he gets in trouble. He sees the half a day he spent in jail as time out. Fear is the only thing that can influence him to not act out. I'm not A-logging him, it's just an appropriate punishment.
> 
> He'll probably get community service and just waste everyones' time causing more trouble than he was worth. Then go on to find a new completely pussy way to attack someone 2 years down the line.



I suppose he is a multiple time violent offender.

In my mind this offense was more dumb than violent. He sprayed the spray for a half a second at the guy's belly. He could have easily altered what he did slightly and hurt him a lot more.

The last offense was more troubling. But there was a lot of chaos and Barb seemed equally guilty.

I am not excusing either one or suggesting they should go unpunished. I just don't see a pattern of violence. What I see is them fitting into into the pattern of clashing with managers of stores, a pattern which has a lot more than two data points. The two violent events were the examples of that pattern that turned out worst for everyone involved.

I suppose that doesn't really argue against your main point. Without an attitude adjustment, Chris will inevitably continue to clash with store employees pretty regularly. Those clashes will work out in different ways. So there is definitely a probablility that eventually the circumstances will be right for an incident to turn violent again.


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## DrunkTails (Apr 30, 2015)

General Juicer said:


> I have relatives who are bigger pieces of shit than Chris that get attentive counseling and mentorship and even training for volunteer work or actual jobs. Chris is nothing.
> 
> Now, turning Chris into a functioning member of society (let alone an actualized human being) is like trying to skate uphill on an iced-over road. But a halfway decent counselor or therapist could at least stop Chris from continually sabotaging himself.



This. I agree with all of this.

There are people out there who are far far worse than Chris. People who gleefully fraud the loopholes in the system or use their power to harass innocent people. Comparing Chris to people that exploit the law to gain money is dumb.

I also agree with the last part. Chris's lack of motivation, self-control and greed have turned him into a disaster. Whenever somebody tries to help him, he sabotages himself. The only way I can see Chris ever becoming a functioning member of society is if there is someone basically holding his hand.


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## Lipitor (Apr 30, 2015)

timtommy said:


> I suppose he is a multiple time violent offender.
> 
> In my mind this offense was more dumb than violent. He sprayed the spray for a half a second at the guy's belly. He could have easily altered what he did slightly and hurt him a lot more.
> 
> ...



I see what you mean. And obviously the judge doesn't know what we know. I'm not even sure if the judge knows about the Michael Snyder incident. He certainly doesn't know about the attraction signs in stores, vandalizing the hexbox and dvds in walmart, attempting to shoplift from bestbuy, hiding merchandise at Toys 'r us.... and that's just what we know about. Christian has no regard for how to act appropriately in a retail store. He's been approached by security multiple times, but shows them no respect. Maybe it's not showing a pattern of escalation, but he certainly thinks he's above the rules and doesn't follow them even after being confronted and clarified on said rules. How many stores does he get to terrorize or be banned from before he gets a real punishment? Seriously do you know anyone his age whose banned from more than a couple stores, if any?


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## LordCustos3 (Apr 30, 2015)

Lefty's Revenge said:


> Me, personally, I just want fireworks. I want him to have to take the stand or something and sperg about blue arms in front of a _*jury of his peers*_ and come to the hearing dressed like Pepper Ann.


Where is the court system going to find 12 cripplingly austistic cross-dressing fuckwhistles on such short notice?
ADF is too far away.
Then how are they going to get all 12 to focus on the case and not on their OWN pet Blaarms 'sperg-triggers?



ZehnBoat said:


> i think chris knows full well why he is in court.
> this is something big, and chris can't forget it.
> the thing is, chris thinks what he did was right, in fact, i'm sure he thinks his actions are to be celebrated.
> he had every right to destroy property, he had every right to pepper spray someone, _*he didn't deserve to have someone call the cops on him.*_


Even more than that: He thought he had the authority to _*command*_ them to _*NOT*_ call the cops.


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## Ron_Swanson (Apr 30, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Chris is more aware than this. The cwcki's cartoonish perception of Chris is mostly a joke. Don't take it seriously.



...are you soft-prepping our minds for a terrible truth, Marvin? is Chris a 'performance fartist' too?


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## General Juicer (Apr 30, 2015)

Ron_Swanson said:


> ...are you soft-prepping our minds for a terrible truth, Marvin? is Chris a 'performance fartist' too?


Does it matter at this point? After all that has happened, Chris-the-troll would be even more pathetic than if he was the real deal.


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## timtommy (Apr 30, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I see what you mean. And obviously the judge doesn't know what we know. I'm not even sure if the judge knows about the Michael Snyder incident. He certainly doesn't know about the attraction signs in stores, vandalizing the hexbox and dvds in walmart, attempting to shoplift from bestbuy, hiding merchandise at Toys 'r us.... and that's just what we know about. Christian has no regard for how to act appropriately in a retail store. He's been approached by security multiple times, but shows them no respect. Maybe it's not showing a pattern of escalation, but he certainly thinks he's above the rules and doesn't follow them even after being confronted and clarified on said rules. How many stores does he get to terrorize or be banned from before he gets a real punishment? Seriously do you know anyone his age whose banned from more than a couple stores, if any?



It seems to me that if he doesn't follow the rules by making a nuisance of himself like the attraction sign, he should be banned from the store in which he created a nuisance. If he keeps creating a nuisance at different stores, he should be banned from lots of stores.

Similarly, if he commits low level crimes like shoplifting, small-scale vandalism, or minor assaults, he should receive the appropriate punishments for those crimes. Which are generally fines, community service, or very short jail sentences.

I suppose I don't really subscribe to escalating punishment for repeat offenders, particularly if the offenses that are repeated are minor. It seems like crimes should be assigned punishments which fit them. If you commit that crime, you get that punishment. Although I recognize that is not the way the justice system works, and my perspective probably puts me in the minority.


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## Lipitor (Apr 30, 2015)

timtommy said:


> It seems to me that if he doesn't follow the rules by making a nuisance of himself like the attraction sign, he should be banned from the store in which he created a nuisance. If he keeps creating a nuisance at different stores, he should be banned from lots of stores.
> 
> Similarly, if he commits low level crimes like shoplifting, small-scale vandalism, or minor assaults, he should receive the appropriate punishments for those crimes. Which are generally fines, community service, or very short jail sentences.
> 
> I suppose I don't really subscribe to escalating punishment for repeat offenders, particularly if the offenses that are repeated are minor. It seems like crimes should be assigned punishments which fit them. If you commit that crime, you get that punishment. Although I recognize that is not the way the justice system works, and my perspective probably puts me in the minority.



I mean I get your point, he needs rehabilitation/therapy. But it's really as simple as Christian thinks he can act like spoiled brat in public and only get short time out, spanking and have to write an apology note. Unless he feels reasonably threatened by adult consequences he'll keep doing this. It might not be the perfect solution, but it don't think an autism catch and release policy is gonna do shit either.


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## Klonoa (Apr 30, 2015)

I get the feeling that Chis is going to confidently arrive at this hearing, expecting that they're just going to push it to a later date again.  It wouldn't surprise me if he's legitimately flirting with the possibility that the court never gets around to hearing his case.


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## AnOminous (May 1, 2015)

Klonoa said:


> I get the feeling that Chis is going to confidently arrive at this hearing, expecting that they're just going to push it to a later date again.  It wouldn't surprise me if he's legitimately flirting with the possibility that the court never gets around to hearing his case.



If Chris finds out you can basically put off criminal cases over and over again just because you say so, he could easily try to do just that.

That wouldn't be a wise or sane way of dealing with the situation, but he's Chris.


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## Male Idiot (May 1, 2015)

I think nobody tackled Chris-tran after the pepper spray because, if we look at it from a bystanders perspective:

-It was more of a weird than a hurt type of incident.  He sprayed stuff on the store guy's belly, he was not really harmed. Its not like he stabbed a child.
-He looks/smells like a dirty hobo. Do you want to tackle a dirty hobo? They got all manners of diseases and parasites. It is best not to touch them, or even touch stuff they touched before.
-His outfit is crazy. Crazy people can get from harmless to homicidial quick. A Christorian of Marvin's pedigree may be able to judge Chris's moods, but a random shopper can't.
-Bystanders usually don't want or like risking their necks, especially if the victim of the crime is fine.


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## QI 541 (May 1, 2015)

Male Idiot said:


> I think nobody tackled Chris-tran after the pepper spray because, if we look at it from a bystanders perspective:
> 
> -It was more of a weird than a hurt type of incident.  He sprayed stuff on the store guy's belly, he was not really harmed. Its not like he stabbed a child.
> -He looks/smells like a dirty hobo. Do you want to tackle a dirty hobo? They got all manners of diseases and parasites. It is best not to touch them, or even touch stuff they touched before.
> ...



-He has pepper spray and he's willing to use it.


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## Male Idiot (May 1, 2015)

raymond said:


> -He has pepper spray and he's willing to use it.



He can't use it well, and he already demonstrated in the incident. 
If I was a witness who knew nothing about him, I would be more afraid of Chris biting me or pulling a knife than pepper spraying my clothes.

Moral of the story, if you got bad aim like Chris, you need a fog pepper spray.


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## AlephOne2Many (May 1, 2015)

Chris will be sighing the whole time.


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## Chan the Wizard (May 1, 2015)

We know Chris rarely bathes, he was dressed like a crazy bag lady, he had just vandalized a cardboard cutout of a children's video game mascot for have "blarms" and then sprayed an unknown substance on an employee, which one of those makes you want to touch him in any way?


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## General Juicer (May 1, 2015)

As Klonoa and AnOminous alluded to, I'm putting my money on: Chris seeks as many continuances as the judge will allow to put off confronting painful reality; eventually he runs out and is forced to plea, whereupon the judge assigns a non-jail sentence of a fine that's several thousands dollars plus community service. Chris stresses out as he agonizes over whether he wants more toys by bargaining down the fine with community service or more time to loaf at the cost of fewer toys for the next few months. He decides to pay the hefty fine and puts a bare minimum effort into community service as Rocky or whoever ass-pats him through the process. Then, like a monkey surviving the experience of chewing on a roach motel, Chris decides not to pepper-spray people in the future but instead seethes in victimhood until the experience is forgotten about in two to four years.

Whereupon something else triggers him and the journey starts all over again.


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## timtommy (May 1, 2015)

Male Idiot said:


> I think nobody tackled Chris-tran after the pepper spray because, if we look at it from a bystanders perspective:
> 
> -It was more of a weird than a hurt type of incident.  He sprayed stuff on the store guy's belly, he was not really harmed. Its not like he stabbed a child.
> -He looks/smells like a dirty hobo. Do you want to tackle a dirty hobo? They got all manners of diseases and parasites. It is best not to touch them, or even touch stuff they touched before.
> ...



After he sprayed, he walked out of the store quickly. The incident was over.

Why would someone tackle or even confront someone who is armed (in a way) and is leaving the scene?

If he had looked like he would linger or spray someone else, someone might have stepped in. But not if he is leaving.


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## DrunkTails (May 1, 2015)

General Juicer said:


> I'm putting my money on: Chris seeks as many continuances that the judge will allow to put off confronting painful reality, eventually he runs out and is forced to plea, and the judge assigns a non-jail sentence of a fine that's several thousands dollars plus community service. Chris stresses out as he agonizes over whether he wants more toys by bargaining down the fine with community service or more time to loaf at the cost of fewer toys for the next few months. He decides to pay the hefty fine and puts the bare minimum effort into community service as Rocky ass-pats him through non-work. Then, like a monkey surviving the experience of chewing on a roach motel, Chris decides not to pepper-spray people in the future but instead seethes in victimhood until the experience is forgotten about in two-to-four of years. Then something else triggers him and the journey starts all over again.



This is pretty much what will happen most probably. The sad part is that like usual Chris will have learnt nothing. Oh sure he will learn that pepper spray is bad if used on people, but what about the morale of the story? His victimisation complex will just turn the issue into "people hate me because I'm autistic and/or a tomgirl."


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## Asian Hobbit (May 1, 2015)

I have a question, since I'm ignorant on court shenanigans and the like. Will Chris's previous encounters with the law (October 2011 incident with Michael Snyder, bans from various places) affect his final sentence in any way? 

Also, I doubt he's going to jail. He's probably just going to get community service, a fine, and/or probation. That's just a guess on my part, though. I personally have mixed opinions on wanting Chris to go to jail. He is a repeat offender, and I can see how people think it's time for the hammer to come down on him. However, I don't know if Chris spending time in jail will give any real huge benefits to him or change him significantly. It might just make him miserable in the end and when he gets out, he's back to how he was before.

If Marvin does go, I all for him wearing the pickle suit!


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## Alec Benson Leary (May 1, 2015)

Asian Hobbit said:


> If Marvin does go, I all for him wearing the pickle suit!


We already got the judge to don a pickle suit. If two people are wearing the same thing it would just look silly.


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## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 1, 2015)

Asian Hobbit said:


> I have a question, since I'm ignorant on court shenanigans and the like. Will Chris's previous encounters with the law (October 2011 incident with Michael Snyder, bans from various places) affect his final sentence in any way?
> 
> Also, I doubt he's going to jail. He's probably just going to get community service, a fine, and/or probation. That's just a guess on my part, though. I personally have mixed opinions on wanting Chris to go to jail. He is a repeat offender, and I can see how people think it's time for the hammer to come down on him. However, I don't know if Chris spending time in jail will give any real huge benefits to him or change him significantly. It might just make him miserable in the end and when he gets out, he's back to how he was before.
> 
> If Marvin does go, I all for him wearing the pickle suit!



Unless the judge is a real hardass, Chris's previous entanglements with the law won't get him a more severe sentence. If anything, maybe they'll give him probation because he's been on it before, but nothing as severe as jail time. If the guy at Gamestop was pressing charges, that would be different. But I'm pretty sure it's just the People v. Chris.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (May 1, 2015)

Brother, Chris will likely get probation and community service again.


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## BlueSpikeLegend (May 1, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I see what you mean. And obviously the judge doesn't know what we know. I'm not even sure if the judge knows about the Michael Snyder incident. He certainly doesn't know about the attraction signs in stores, vandalizing the hexbox and dvds in walmart, attempting to shoplift from bestbuy, hiding merchandise at Toys 'r us.... and that's just what we know about. Christian has no regard for how to act appropriately in a retail store. He's been approached by security multiple times, but shows them no respect. Maybe it's not showing a pattern of escalation, but he certainly thinks he's above the rules and doesn't follow them even after being confronted and clarified on said rules. How many stores does he get to terrorize or be banned from before he gets a real punishment? Seriously do you know anyone his age whose banned from more than a couple stores, if any?



I'm sure that more than a few Ween's have made it their mission to inform the local DA office of Chris's past Crimes.


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## Tsukiko (May 1, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I see what you mean. And obviously the judge doesn't know what we know. I'm not even sure if the judge knows about the Michael Snyder incident. He certainly doesn't know about the attraction signs in stores, vandalizing the hexbox and dvds in walmart, attempting to shoplift from bestbuy, hiding merchandise at Toys 'r us.... and that's just what we know about. Christian has no regard for how to act appropriately in a retail store. He's been approached by security multiple times, but shows them no respect. Maybe it's not showing a pattern of escalation, but he certainly thinks he's above the rules and doesn't follow them even after being confronted and clarified on said rules. How many stores does he get to terrorize or be banned from before he gets a real punishment? Seriously do you know anyone his age whose banned from more than a couple stores, if any?



I never knew about him censoring the nipples on that DVD cover. That's fucking hilarious ahaha


----------



## Kosher Dill (May 1, 2015)

BlueSpikeLegend said:


> I'm sure that more than a few Ween's have made it their mission to inform the local DA office of Chris's past Crimes.


Still, I was impressed that they managed to get his entire rap sheet written out by a skywriter in one pass.


----------



## DoctorButler (May 1, 2015)

Chris will go to prison. 
There he will convert to Islam, and change his name to Christian Weston Ali.

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a Simonchu."


----------



## autisticdragonkin (May 1, 2015)

DoctorButler said:


> Chris will go to prison.
> There he will convert to Islam, and change his name to Christian Weston Ali.
> 
> "Float like a butterfly, sting like a Simonchu."


I am looking forward to seeing Christine in hijab


----------



## Lipitor (May 1, 2015)

Tsukiko said:


> I never knew about him censoring the nipples on that DVD cover. That's fucking hilarious ahaha




Dude go to the brassiere for males facebook page. He's the mod and it's full of lolz.


----------



## Tsukiko (May 1, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Dude go to the brassiere for males facebook page. He's the mod and it's full of lolz.



I knew he hated man nips, I just didn't know about the censoring thing. I just find it hilarious to imagine him walking past it and catching sight of those man nipples in his peripheral vision and being so disgruntled that he pulls out the sharpie to scribble all over the packaging.


----------



## Asian Hobbit (May 1, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> We already got the judge to don a pickle suit. If two people are wearing the same thing it would just look silly.



Everyone attending should wear pickle suits. The pickle nation shall overpower Chris! 



Bronchitis that Lingers said:


> Unless the judge is a real hardass, Chris's previous entanglements with the law won't get him a more severe sentence. If anything, maybe they'll give him probation because he's been on it before, but nothing as severe as jail time. If the guy at Gamestop was pressing charges, that would be different. But I'm pretty sure it's just the People v. Chris.



Ah, okay. That was my initial guess. Thanks for clearing it up.


----------



## BillRiley (May 2, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> We already got the judge to don a pickle suit. If two people are wearing the same thing it would just look silly.



Objection!  He knows Clyde Cash!


----------



## trip2themoon (May 2, 2015)

If he gets community service I wonder how he'll get on with the others? I live near a meeting point for community service people, they meet there to get picked up in a mini bus and taken to work. The group is mostly junkies given community service for petty crimes like shop lifting. Chris will have the junkies trying to work some scam and take advantage of his naivety.


----------



## January Cyst (May 2, 2015)

trip2themoon said:


> f he gets community service I wonder how he'll get on with the others?



He very likely won't have to if he gets Rocky to cover for him again.
Maybe some light chores around the church (which means Chris sitting on his ass and playing Pokemon on his 3DS), he very likely won't have to do community service with Junkies.


----------



## Datiko (May 2, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> He very likely won't have to if he gets Rocky to cover for him again.
> Maybe some light chores around the church (which means Chris sitting on his ass and playing Pokemon on his 3DS), he very likely won't have to do community service with Junkies.



Just for clarity's sake: Is community service in VA really so unregulated? I got it once during uni in MD and I didn't have a choice. If I were a working adult I could pay a fine in lieu of service however I had no choice in my appointment.


----------



## January Cyst (May 2, 2015)

Datiko said:


> Just for clarity's sake: Is community service in VA really so unregulated? I got it once during uni in MD and I didn't have a choice. If I were a working adult I could pay a fine in lieu of service however I had no choice in my appointment.



I can't speak to that, but either Marvin or one of the other more renowned Christorians hinted that Rocky signed off on his or Barbs community service the last time.

Edit: Marvin voted my last post "agree", so that seems to be the case.


----------



## Ravenor (May 2, 2015)

If it does come down to just community service, I really hope Rocky is out of the picture because he has gotten off so lightly with punishment in the past he finally needs to face some form of consequence for his actions.


----------



## Marvin (May 2, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> I can't speak to that, but either Marvin or one of the other more renowned Christorians hinted that Rocky signed off on his or Barbs community service the last time.
> 
> Edit: Marvin voted my last post "agree", so that seems to be the case.


I don't remember the details of the situation, but I don't remember Chris doing any strenuous work or complaining about anything. So I'm pretty sure Rocky bullshitted some work for Chris one afternoon and/or he did stuff like that lemonade stand.


Datiko said:


> Just for clarity's sake: Is community service in VA really so unregulated? I got it once during uni in MD and I didn't have a choice. If I were a working adult I could pay a fine in lieu of service however I had no choice in my appointment.


I would hope they have better standards for when criminals are sentenced to community service, compared to what they have for high school students, but I can't seem to find anything.


----------



## Yawning Asperchu (May 2, 2015)

I hope he gets community service but I don't really care where it's at.  I just hope the number of hours is high enough that he has to spend days, maybe weeks, _having _to be somewhere.  Like a job.

I think that plus a fine substantial enough to affect his Lego'ing would at least make him think twice before trying to assault someone again.  Maybe.


----------



## January Cyst (May 2, 2015)

Would a fine be in addition or instead of community service?
The judge will probably see a mentally challenged man who takes care of his old mother, both on welfare and in debt.


----------



## trip2themoon (May 2, 2015)

Yawning Asperchu said:


> I hope he gets community service but I don't really care where it's at.  I just hope the number of hours is high enough that he has to spend days, maybe weeks, _having _to be somewhere.  Like a job.
> 
> I think that plus a fine substantial enough to affect his Lego'ing would at least make him think twice before trying to assault someone again.  Maybe.




I hope he gets around 300 hours of picking up rubbish at the roadside along with all the other petty criminals. I don't see any reason why he shouldn't be punished just like everyone else.


----------



## CornetteFace (May 2, 2015)

Like many others in this thread I hope he gets some actual, productive community service, albeit unlikely. 

And it is interesting how Chris' condition will effect his sentencing. Granted he is in the south but still. How hard ass can a Virginia judge be on a "tard"?


----------



## General Juicer (May 2, 2015)

Chris picking up trash on the road for 300 hours next to sweaty JERKS would be hilarious in a way that his going to jail wouldn't be.

But God hates kiwifarms on a deep and personal level so He will ensure that this won't happen.


----------



## trip2themoon (May 2, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Like many others in this thread I hope he gets some actual, productive community service, albeit unlikely.
> 
> And it is interesting how Chris' condition will effect his sentencing. Granted he is in the south but still. How hard ass can a Virginia judge be on a "tard"?




I wish I could pull some petty crimes and at punishment produce the Tard Card. I wonder what kind of crime it would take to max out the Tard Card?


----------



## CornetteFace (May 2, 2015)

General Juicer said:


> Chris picking up trash on the road for 300 hours next to sweaty JERKS would be hilarious in a way that his going to jail wouldn't be.
> 
> But God hates kiwifarms on a deep and personal level so He will ensure that this won't happen.


Are you insinuating I won't get to see pics taken by weens, of Chris on a chain gang picking up diapers and cola mugs?

My day is ruined.


----------



## Optimus Prime (May 2, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Like many others in this thread I hope he gets some actual, productive community service, albeit unlikely.
> 
> And it is interesting how Chris' condition will effect his sentencing. Granted he is in the south but still. How hard ass can a Virginia judge be on a "tard"?



I actually think he's going to be worse off not because of the 'tism but because he openly presents himself as a tranny while his legal records still indicate he is a male.



General Juicer said:


> Chris picking up trash on the road for 300 hours next to sweaty JERKS would be hilarious in a way that his going to jail wouldn't be.
> 
> But God hates kiwifarms on a deep and personal level so He will ensure that this won't happen.



Nick Bate just got arrested, let's not squander Godbear's benevolence to us by bringing an _actual lawbreaking piece of shit_ to justice first before raining more punishment on OPL over a minor assault charge.


----------



## Totenkopf (May 2, 2015)

trip2themoon said:


> I wonder what kind of crime it would take to max out the Tard Card?



It's like a Subway gift card except it counts towards being a spazzy tard'


----------



## Professor Iris (May 2, 2015)

DoctorButler said:


> "Where's Mommy"
> 
> "Chris maced mommy"




"No......Chris IS Mommy."


----------



## That Guy (May 2, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> that Rocky signed off on his or Barbs community service the last time.



If that was the case, maybe she'll refuse to do it a second time.  I'm sure she wouldn't let Chris completely off the hook AGAIN.    

Besides they haven't been in contact the last few years, who knows if the Chandlers will even bother calling Rocky if they end up with required community service.


----------



## Marvin (May 2, 2015)

That Guy said:


> If that was the case, maybe she'll refuse to do it a second time.  I'm sure she wouldn't let Chris completely off the hook AGAIN.
> 
> Besides they haven't been in contact the last few years, who knows if the Chandlers will even bother calling Rocky if they end up with required community service.


Nah, Rocky's on call. Chris called her up, out of nowhere, to film that lego thing in 2013. He's still pestering her not frequently, but enough. As long as she's still working at the church, Chris'll still pester her and get responses.


----------



## Saul Goodman (May 2, 2015)

My thoughts about Thursday: 

One of three things can happen, listed in order of probability: (1) The case will be sent to grand jury, in which case there will be a later arraignment date at which he will almost certainly plea bargain, (2) there will be yet another continuance, (3) the prosecutor might unilaterally drop the felony "gas release" count, and have Chris plead to a misdemeanor, in which case he'll walk out a free man (with probation and possibly a bit of community service).

The last one is highly unlikely though. I'll be visiting my daughter in [state far from Virginia] this week, so sadly I won't be able to attend. That said, I am almost certain that the disposition of this case won't happen Thursday, and I fully plan on driving down to live blog the big event when it rolls around.


----------



## Cotton Puddings (May 2, 2015)

does anyone honestly believe chris will get in any real trouble this time? serious question, i'm not being rhetorical. he's always been able to get away from meaningful consequences, and i don't see how that would change now


----------



## Yawning Asperchu (May 2, 2015)

Cotton Puddings said:


> does anyone honestly believe chris will get in any real trouble this time? serious question, i'm not being rhetorical. he's always been able to get away from meaningful consequences, and i don't see how that would change now



Seems that most believe that jail time is unlikely and/or unnecessary.  Chris has a few aces up his sleeve (he's pretty lucky when it comes to skirting punishment, while others are quick to bring up the immeasurable value of the Autistic Get Out of Jail Free card).

That'd make for interesting dueling polls though; what people think will happen and what people want to happen.


Edit: Quoted a quote that I didn't mean to quote.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 2, 2015)

Yawning Asperchu said:


> Seems that most believe that jail time is unlikely and/or unnecessary.  Chris has a few aces up his sleeve (he's pretty lucky when it comes to skirting punishment, while others are quick to bring up the immeasurable value of the Autistic Get Out of Jail Free card).
> 
> That'd make for interesting dueling polls though; what people think will happen and what people want to happen.
> 
> ...



Very true. I know some people really want to see him punished, and to see him face consequences for his actions, but there's no way he's going to be sent to prison as a felon. I'm not saying it's wrong to feel this way, but it's not going to happen. The judge will be able to surmise that Chris isn't quite right, and throwing him in with general population for ruining a guy's shirt will not benefit anyone. 
And if it does happen, I'll quote this post, accept defeat, and gladly donate to the forums.


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## Kosher Dill (May 2, 2015)

Cotton Puddings said:


> does anyone honestly believe chris will get in any real trouble this time?


I'm predicting he'll get a week in jail, minus the time he served when he was originally arrested. Not so bad, right?
... until they try to handcuff him for transportation to jail, and he F L I P S  O U T.


----------



## Ruin (May 2, 2015)

> he judge will be able to surmise that Chris isn't quite right, and throwing him in with general population for ruining a guy's shirt will not benefit anyone.



I'm not an expert on the legal system of Virginia, but typically the system doesn't give a shit if you're mentally ill or not. Guys less functional than Chris get thrown into prison all the time. 



> In a 2006 Special Report, the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) estimated that 705,600 mentally ill adults were incarcerated in state prisons, 78,800 in federal prisons and 479,900 in local jails. In addition, research suggests that "people with mental illnesses are overrepresented in probation and parole populations at estimated rates ranging from two to four times the general population"


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 3, 2015)

Ruin said:


> I'm not an expert on the legal system of Virginia, but typically the system doesn't give a shit if you're mentally ill or not. Guys less functional than Chris get thrown into prison all the time.



For spraying pepper spray on someone's shirt, though? If he killed someone, that would be one thing. But this is quite the minor incident. I'm pretty sure the Gamestop employee isn't even pressing charges.


----------



## Ruin (May 3, 2015)

Bronchitis that Lingers said:


> For spraying pepper spray on someone's shirt, though? If he killed someone, that would be one thing. But this is quite the minor incident. I'm pretty sure the Gamestop employee isn't even pressing charges.



I don't think Chris will get anything more than some community service which results in a call to Rocky and some bitching on Facebook. I was just making a point.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 3, 2015)

Ruin said:


> I don't think Chris will get anything more than some community service which results in a call to Rocky and some bitching on Facebook. I was just making a point.


I hear you. In general, yeah, a judge isn't going to care how much of a retard a criminal is. I wasn't saying that it's common for every mentally challanged person is going to get away with murder (literally or figuratively), that would just be silly, but Chris's mental state in conjunction with his crime might add a boost to his defense.
_ This time. _


----------



## trip2themoon (May 3, 2015)

Ruin said:


> I'm not an expert on the legal system of Virginia, but typically the system doesn't give a shit if you're mentally ill or not. Guys less functional than Chris get thrown into prison all the time.



For the privately owned prisons non violent offenders (I don't see what Chris done as overly violent) like Chris are perfect to put to work cheaply.


----------



## Lysistrata (May 3, 2015)

I'm not too fussed, as long as Rocky stays out of it. I don't see a felony being of any great benefit to him, but I'm also vehemently against him being let off the hook again.


----------



## ZehnBoat (May 3, 2015)

i honestly hope that chris doesn't go to jail
if he gets time for community service, i can see him just heavy sigh and do it with minimal effort, and maybe a few snags
but if he gets jail, i can honestly see him fucking up and flipping out and getting more time. that is, if he doesn't snap and spend the first few days yelling and screaming about how he was innocent.
he just needs a black man named red to help him through it.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 3, 2015)

The question isn't how long can Chris hold out in jail before he flips out. The question is how tolerant will the jail staff be of his demands, wailings, tantrums, and his "genie with light brown hair" act (whatever the fuck that is) before they come in with riot gear and strap him into a restraint chair.

But right now, Chris is in a very rare and unique position. His jail experiences are going to be far more mild compared to what's in store for "Sick Nick". Wishing harm to Chris is frowned upon, but even the Mods seem to be in agreement with the A-Logapalooza this weekend in Nick's arrest.


----------



## AN/ALR56 (May 3, 2015)

Chris needs pschiatric help,going to jail is going to fuck up his life even more.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 3, 2015)

We've been having this debate for years, but here goes.  A week in jail would be pointless for Chris.  It would be like giving a child a time out.  It sounds harsh, but Chris needs to be broken.  He needs to be snapped out of his comfortable patterns.  Short of even a month in jail, I don't see that happening.  Ideally, closer to 6 months.  Give him enough time to forget his old habits and be forced to start new ones.  Yeah, he'll probably relapse.  Chris has very little hope in life, especially while his mother is alive.  But his only chance is to be given some structure, and a jail setting would provide that.


----------



## AnOminous (May 3, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> We've been having this debate for years, but here goes.  A week in jail would be pointless for Chris.  It would be like giving a child a time out.  It sounds harsh, but Chris needs to be broken.  He needs to be snapped out of his comfortable patterns.  Short of even a month in jail, I don't see that happening.  Ideally, closer to 6 months.  Give him enough time to forget his old habits and be forced to start new ones.  Yeah, he'll probably relapse.  Chris has very little hope in life, especially while his mother is alive.  But his only chance is to be given some structure, and a jail setting would provide that.



I've never seen anyone helped by jail.


----------



## wristwatchswisswatch (May 3, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> I've never seen anyone helped by jail.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phill_Lewis


----------



## Blue Max (May 3, 2015)

Considering 10/28/11:

Chris was sentenced to probation (which he honored) and community service (which he didn't, got sent back to court for, and fined).
10/28/11 was also a very unusual situation in that the main victim, Michael Synder, revealed himself to be a very compassionate, forgiving and merciful man.  10/28/11 is also Chris' first felony case.

It's been pointed out that Chris could be charged with a Class 3 Felony; that he intended real malice against the "Ass Manager" at Gamestop.  From one of the most watched clips on the Internet, Chris apparently did this to cover his escape from the store.  Dropping this to a Class 6 for simply releasing on a whim is a massive break for Chris.

Chris does have a long record of ignoring bans and trespassing.

What needs to happen, for the greater good, is for Chris to learn to stop doing this.  I don't think its A-Loggy to say that some time behind bars would at least force a self reliance upon him that he's never known.  That he'd be held accountable for his actions, and he'd have a very firm set of expectations.  Chris isn't going to maximum security, and the rehabilitating aspects of low security shouldn't entirely be ruled out.

Chris must learn never to inflict harm upon another person.  It's not something that he often does, but it's something that he's done too often.  And given his history I think time behind bars is deserved for this alone.  This is now twice too often.

Partly, I think Chris getting out of the grasp of Barb would at least change his life.  Barb is the Lord of Hoard, not someone who seems to care for his personal happiness or mental wellness.  In the not too distant future, Barb will die.  Perhaps in low security, there is some chance that Chris learns about how to keep himself in line.

Some things are going to be pretty obvious.  He's not going to be a Tomgirl behind bars.  Tomgirlism might be stomped utterly out of him, because he's going to learn exactly how far he fails as a Tomgirl and someone is bound to tell him that his chances are Slim to None as a Tomgirl, and Slim got transferred.  Would he still be a Lesbian in a Man's body if he learned that no Lesbian will fall for him?  Not Sure--but he's going to be a man at least behind bars.

Chris will be required to perform a job.  They can't make him do it well, but they can make him do something.  He's not going to get out of it.

Chris will be forced to maintain some basic level of hygiene.  Not sure it will take after he gets out, but the Axe gets Axed and he's going to take a shower.

I can say that time behind bars isn't going for someone's psyche.  That it will be a hard, painful lesson from start to the end;  but I'd suggest that in the Case of Chris that the good could well outweigh the harm.


----------



## CornetteFace (May 3, 2015)

Because the American prison system isn't designed to help, but to punish and destroy. The Scandinavian prison systems are designed to rehabilitate and help convicts, and it is noticeable in the amount of return convicts.


----------



## Blue Max (May 3, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Because the American prison system isn't designed to help, but to punish and destroy. The Scandinavian prison systems are designed to rehabilitate and help convicts, and it is noticeable in the amount of return convicts.



Our Prison system has a complex mix of desires ranging from sincere rehabilitation in low security to instilling mental torment (supermax).  At the low end of the spectrum, the prison system isn't really intended to turn into a revolving door, but it functions in that way because of the American stance on drugs.  Non-violent drug offenders have addictions to drugs, can't easily be rid of them, and locking them up and expecting it to solve the problem is self defeating.

The odds look better for Chris, because Chris is exactly the low level offender that really needs to know that the legal system is SERIOUS about cracking down on his stupidity, and some resources will be used to make him live differently.  It doesn't mean that Chris will be rehabilitated, but I think his situation at least is worth that shot.

And what I continue to see is a lack of alternatives.  House Arrest is fairly similar to how he lives already; people under house arrest are allowed to go to stores within limits, and that's all he needs to get into serious trouble.  Community Service means nothing if Rocky subverts the method.  Probation, at least, seems to work in terms of scaring him straight, but that may be as statistical as it is factual in nature.

What choice does society have?


----------



## timtommy (May 3, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Because the American prison system isn't designed to help, but to punish and destroy. The Scandinavian prison systems are designed to rehabilitate and help convicts, and it is noticeable in the amount of return convicts.



The likelihood is that if Chris does go to jail, it will be a short sentence measured in days or maybe weeks. Not months or years.

The philosophy of the prison system is pretty irrelevant at that point. For one thing, he will be in jail, not prison. For another, he won't be around long enough to be in many programs. 

The only possible positive outcome is that he will say "Oh, that really sucked. I better make sure that doesn't happen again." And then is more careful about initiating or escalating conflicts with those around him. 


I actually worry that any lesson he learns from this is going to be way too specific. Just pepper-spray related. And then 2 or 3 years from now he will be arrested for something like throwing a video game case at a manager. 

As I have argued before, I don't think this is a pattern of violence with two incidents. This is a pattern of general nuisance and obnoxiousness with hundreds of incidents. 

Chris often does annoying things. Those annoying things are going to annoy people. Sometimes the people will say something or try to stop him. Since Chris is an idiot, his reactions to the interventions are not always appropriate. With enough incidents of conflict between an annoyed passerby and a clueless and inappropriate Chris, a few of them are going to turn bad. So far a couple have led to Chris comitting mildly violent crimes. If it keeps up, that will probably happen again. Or Chris will be the victim next time, as someone snaps on him.

The Snyder incident and the pepper-spray incident are simply the pieces of that pattern that went sideways to the greatest degree. The majority of the incidents go unnoticed. Some involve a verbal argument, and the occassional one results in a ban.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 3, 2015)

This forum taught me that most people don't know the difference between jail and prison.


----------



## Lysistrata (May 3, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> This forum taught me that most people don't know the difference between jail and prison.



I'll be honest, I don't.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 3, 2015)

timtommy said:


> The only possible positive outcome is that he will say "Oh, that really sucked. I better make sure that doesn't happen again.".



Change that to "Oh, that really sucked. If it hadn't been for that DAMN DIRTY Sega and the Gamestop scaring #me into DEFENDING MYSELF after their attempts to attack me for my autism, I never would have been in ANY trouble!  "


----------



## AN/ALR56 (May 3, 2015)

I would love if he tried to escape jail.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 3, 2015)

Lysistrata said:


> I'll be honest, I don't.








@ 4: 29 mark: "Jail is for traffic violations. I AM IN PRISON!"


----------



## CornetteFace (May 4, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> This forum taught me that most people don't know the difference between jail and prison.


in my country, there is none. Prison is prison and that's it. And every prison has different sections depending on the level of crime committed. That cell you have at the local police station is just lock up.

But I digress.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 4, 2015)

AN/ALR-56 said:


> I would love if he tried to escape jail.



If Barb doesn't get Chris out of there soon, he's gonna eat his mattress!



Spoiler



Jump to 1:30


----------



## Tragi-Chan (May 4, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Nah, Rocky's on call. Chris called her up, out of nowhere, to film that lego thing in 2013. He's still pestering her not frequently, but enough. As long as she's still working at the church, Chris'll still pester her and get responses.


You might say... Rocky needs to grow some stones! 

But yeah, what Chris needs is a punishment that makes him understand that if he breaks the law, there are consequences. It's pretty much a lost cause to explain to him the reason why society has laws, or that it's not cool to attempt to harm a person for doing their job. What's needed is a punishment that is unpleasant enough that it puts him off breaking the law again, and it needs to be something he can't weasel out of. He's shown that he doesn't understand the concept of "Next time you might not be so lucky." Jail might do the job, as might community service that he actually has to do - I think both would be equally unpleasant to a manchild who's used to getting his own way.

What worries me about his track record is that it seems to be getting progressively worse. He's gone from being a pain in the ass to trespassing to vandalism to minor assault, and we know from his "bad ass self" Facebook post that he enjoys that feeling of power that comes with being able to hurt a person for trying to stop him. I'm not saying that he's going to start beating people up or anything, but at the moment he has it in his head that if he can justify his crimes - being scared, having a bad day - then he'll be let off.

Bottom line, he's kind of like a dog - he doesn't need to understand the reasoning behind his punishment, just that "me do bad thing = me get bad thing done to me."


----------



## rickydarius (May 4, 2015)

If we are still putting down side bets, Chris will get off on probation/counseling because he is an autist.  People will get buttmad on the forums and Chris will sigh to himself.  Said mad people will still buy the broken Amiibos he sells.


----------



## That Guy (May 4, 2015)

The Tard Card isn't going to help Chris in any way if he flies off the hook in the courtroom.  I could see him losing his shit if the judge refers to him as a male or does something else to piss off our beloved manchild.  If that's the case, I could totally see OPL get chucked into jail for a few months to dry out.     

Although from previous accounts it appears that Chris was very submissive and unthreatening at his last court appearances so my money's on him getting off with a very light sentence, several hundred hours of community service at most.


----------



## Marvin (May 4, 2015)

Yeah, I'm not going to go. Not worth it.


rickydarius said:


> If we are still putting down side bets, Chris will get off on probation/counseling because he is an autist.  People will get buttmad on the forums and Chris will sigh to himself.  Said mad people will still buy the broken Amiibos he sells.


He's sold six within 24 hours.


----------



## rickydarius (May 4, 2015)

That Guy said:


> The Tard Card isn't going to help Chris in any way if he flies off the hook in the courtroom.  I could see him losing his shit if the judge refers to him as a male or does something else to piss off our beloved manchild.  If that's the case, I could totally see OPL get chucked into jail for a few months to dry out.



Honestly him making a scene might help the case if his lawyer is going to push for counseling.   He might get some more hours tacked onto counseling/community service for general disrespect, but what is the judge going to see?  A crossdressing 30 year old who lives with his mother making incoherent statements about trolls who have been bothering him for years.


----------



## SnergenFlergen (May 4, 2015)

I don't think Chris is going to do time. If they really thought Chris was a menace to society and they wanted him off the streets, they wouldn't have given him 2 continuations. This is a case of the village idiot acting out and they're going to give him a slap on the wrists for it because beyond that they don't care. At least until he fucks up again.


----------



## timtommy (May 4, 2015)

That Guy said:


> The Tard Card isn't going to help Chris in any way if he flies off the hook in the courtroom.  I could see him losing his shit if the judge refers to him as a male or does something else to piss off our beloved manchild.  If that's the case, I could totally see OPL get chucked into jail for a few months to dry out.
> 
> Although from previous accounts it appears that Chris was very submissive and unthreatening at his last court appearances so my money's on him getting off with a very light sentence, several hundred hours of community service at most.



He is not nearly as angry about this one. Chris tends to be a bit of a pussy in general, unless he really loses it. I don't see him losing control if he gets referred to as a male.

In the last case, there was Snyder. The presence of Snyder and discussion of Snyder sets Chris off, so he was a bit of a ticking time bomb. And all that really happened was a few dumbass mutterings.

I suppose this one tangentially involves Blarms, which is another hot button topic. I suppose that if there is a lot of discussion of Blarms, Chris might get a little worked up, but it seems unlikely that there will be all that much discussion of them.

Frankly, I would be surprised if Chris courtroom demeanor was remarkable in any way. Except for his ridiculous appearance, of course. A combination of passivity, fear of consequences, and instructions from his lawyer and mother should keep him under control.


----------



## Lipitor (May 4, 2015)

timtommy said:


> He is not nearly as angry about this one. Chris tends to be a bit of a pussy in general, unless he really loses it. I don't see him losing control if he gets referred to as a male.
> 
> In the last case, there was Snyder. The presence of Snyder and discussion of Snyder sets Chris off, so he was a bit of a ticking time bomb. And all that really happened was a few dumbass mutterings.
> 
> ...



He's unlikely to make a scene. He seems really scared of the outcome of this trial. Last time I think he naively thought he was gonna win. This time he knows he'll have to plea and they might not even accept his plea. Rob Bell was a good lawyer who knew how to manipulate clients and tell them what they wanted to hear. His PD probably just said, well here are your options, take the plea. At least with the Snyder incident it was Christian+Mommy vs the court, so he felt a little more brave. He's on his own here.

He'll get of relatively light I think. He really doesn't stand out that much in that courtroom. Chris looks like a 40 yr old teenager IRL (it's weird). He looks more like some trenchcoat mafia wannabe type or some hot topic fag than a woman at first. Especially with his fucked up hair that looks like it belongs under a fedora. Most of the people in that courtroom were in their late teens/early 20s and didn't seem to know they should cover up their tattoos, not have a crazy hairdos/piercings,  that they shouldn't wear their stupid "cool kid" clothes to court or just in general broadcast they do drugs. Christian will definitely still stand out, but he'll also blend in more than usual. I doubt the judge will talk to him all that much. Autism might not even come up.


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## Alec Benson Leary (May 4, 2015)

timtommy said:


> I actually worry that any lesson he learns from this is going to be way too specific. Just pepper-spray related. And then 2 or 3 years from now he will be arrested for something like throwing a video game case at a manager.


If he learns anything at all, it will be like this. A year from now he'll be sneaky and spray someone in the face with a water bottle or something, When he gets caught he'll say he didn't mace anyone and it's the court's fault for not telling him that assaulting people with other liquids is also illegal.


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## ChurchOfGodBear (May 4, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> If he learns anything at all, it will be like this. A year from now he'll be sneaky and spray someone in the face with a water bottle or something, When he gets caught he'll say he didn't mace anyone and it's the court's fault for not telling him that assaulting people with other liquids is also illegal.


Yeah, I see it as likely that Chris will have learned his lesson about pepper spray specifically, but really won't make the connection that he can't be a nuisance _in general_.  He'll still vandalize displays, until he gets arrested for that.  He'll still steal, until he gets arrested for that.  He'll still loiter and argue with manajerks, until he gets arrested for that.  

Chris is Barb's son.  He won't actually try to put his best foot forward.  Rather than learn to be a model citizen, Chris will live his life playing a game of "What CAN I get away with?"


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (May 4, 2015)

I don't think Chris will chimp out in court unless he's really provoked by something. 

I get the feeling he's pretty scared this time, he knows he did something really bad and Mommys not there to help him. 

He will behave himself in court is my bet.


----------



## SnergenFlergen (May 4, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> I don't think Chris will chimp out in court unless he's really provoked by something.
> 
> I get the feeling he's pretty scared this time, he knows he did something really bad and Mommys not there to help him.
> 
> He will behave himself in court is my bet.


I dunno if Chris knows he did something pretty bad, as he's yet to acknowledge his own guilt in any way whatsoever. As always he has done nothing but lay blame on every other human being on the planet and paint himself as a victim, and the judge will not see it this way. I think the judge laying the facts on the line will be enough to get a rise out of Chris. I wouldn't be surprised if this resulted in some bullshit about the trawls and internet bullies as they are Chris's favourite scapegoat, and what he most likely considers a lifeline of sorts


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## BALLZ-BROKEN (May 4, 2015)

Lysistrata said:


> I'll be honest, I don't.


Generally speaking, in the US, Jails are county or city run facilities to house people for a year or less.  Usually the inmates are normal people who done something stupid.  Prisons are state or federal facilities to house people for more than a year, and these have the big scary dudes that sodomize you.

And when I went to jail, we had HBO and watched Pulp Fiction.


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## ZehnBoat (May 4, 2015)

i doubt there will be much in letting chris talk, because i would love him to explain to the judge that he was forced to do it and the trolls and the yadda ya.



SnergenFlergen said:


> I dunno if Chris knows he did something pretty bad, as he's yet to acknowledge his own guilt in any way whatsoever. As always he has done nothing but lay blame on every other human being on the planet and paint himself as a victim, and the judge will not see it this way. I think the judge laying the facts on the line will be enough to get a rise out of Chris. I wouldn't be surprised if this resulted in some bullshit about the trawls and internet bullies as they are Chris's favourite scapegoat, and what he most likely considers a lifeline of sorts


it's sad, but if the outcome is too harsh, chris will just add it to his persecution list. his hate of cops and distrust of people relating to things he hates (as in video game store employees relating to BLARMS!) will grow, and perhaps his list of trolls will grow too.
but if it's something minor, it will just be a minor stressful thing that he'll bring up over and over and over.

either way, he will hate the judge unless he gets off scot-free


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## Blue Max (May 5, 2015)

What's most fascinating about this case is Chris seems to legitimately be in an emotional state that he's rarely ever known.  


Spoiler: That is My House











Chris utters "it's my fault, I admit it, its my fault" and boomerangs guilt onto others within SECONDS of the situation.
It would seem to mirror the experience with the Ass Manager, where he decides that because of Blue Arm Banditry and because an Assistant Manager standing near the entrance to his store is somehow equal to a rapist in a dark alley*.  In a classic case of Chris' behavior, he blows the major point--his legal right to present his case in court with a bizarre confession--to insist that he was morally right.

Because he's always had to be right.  And we're really on new ground--Chris as remorseful; Chris as planning to plead guilty to a crime, Chris perhaps repentant or at least aware that he's gone too far.  I didn't believe it, because I believed it didn't exist--but Marvin is saying its real.

It's a little hard not to be somewhat hopeful in this situation.  I don't think Chris will like what will happen to him after he pleads, and I think he's going to learn at least the narrow lesson of not causing harm to others.  It's probably too much to ask for him to understand things like trespassing and social norms, but stopping 10/28/11 and 12/26/14 from happening a third time is worthwhile.

Some of you have said this isn't a pattern of behavior.  I agree.  I also believe that this must NOT become a pattern.  And, in fairness, I think Chris is going to learn at least that much in the near future.  I really do not want to see another autism card replay of 10/28/11 that simply makes him mad and in no way restrains his behavior.

*We've found the one person on earth that thinks someone wants to have sex with Chris.


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## Long Sun (May 5, 2015)

timtommy said:


> Frankly, I would be surprised if Chris courtroom demeanor was remarkable in any way. Except for his ridiculous appearance, of course. A combination of passivity, fear of consequences, and instructions from his lawyer and mother should keep him under control.


It takes a lot for a defendant to be remarkable many many act in eccentic odd and insane matter  Chris yelling at the Judge that "I'M a woman you Jerk" would not be much worst then a once a week thing 

To be remarkable Chris would have to get into how this was all the fault of the illuminati and majesty 12 making sonics  arms blue so that Clyde Clash and Micheal Synder could take over the world by stopping Snoichu


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## Cotton Puddings (May 5, 2015)

regarding the speculation about his future behavior patterns...it's too hard to predict how he'll be a few years down the line. he's always done unexpected things, so we only know to expect the unexpected. _nobody _saw the full-blown tranniness coming.

i expect him to behave in court. i don't expect him to feel bad for what he did. whether that means he'll do _another _stupid thing in the future and get the book thrown at him...who can know? that's part of his draw


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## Holdek (May 5, 2015)

Cotton Puddings said:


> regarding the speculation about his future behavior patterns...it's too hard to predict how he'll be a few years down the line. he's always done unexpected things, so we only know to expect the unexpected.


Yes, but if you look at the general arc it's been heading inexorably down, with a sharp acceleration in that direction after high school, and I don't see anything on the horizon that will change that.


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## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 5, 2015)

Blue Max said:


> Because he's always had to be right.  And we're really on new ground--Chris as remorseful; Chris as planning to plead guilty to a crime, Chris perhaps repentant or at least aware that he's gone too far.



Chris pleading Guilty isn't the same as Chris being remorseful. In his POV, this is all just an act he puts on but time & again he proves to learn zilch from his mishaps. Pleading Guilty is Chris' way of mitigating the damage and getting off with a lighter sentence. He probably thinks he's hookwinking the Judge with this plea and thinks he's oh so clever.


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## Yawning Asperchu (May 5, 2015)

Let's just hope Chris ends up learning that there are consequences for his actions.  Any hoping for remorse or some kind of epiphany from him is probably just gonna be wasted energy.


Edit: "Optimistic"?  Man, there are some low expectations for Chris out there (understandable).


----------



## Pickle Inspector (May 5, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> If he learns anything at all, it will be like this. A year from now he'll be sneaky and spray someone in the face with a water bottle or something, When he gets caught he'll say he didn't mace anyone and it's the court's fault for not telling him that assaulting people with other liquids is also illegal.


I hope he's forced to go to an anger management course or something so he can learn how to deal with similar situations or he's just going to end up getting banned from everywhere he likes going.


----------



## ZehnBoat (May 5, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Chris pleading Guilty isn't the same as Chris being remorseful. In his POV, this is all just an act he puts on but time & again he proves to learn zilch from his mishaps. Pleading Guilty is Chris' way of mitigating the damage and getting off with a lighter sentence. He probably thinks he's hookwinking the Judge with this plea and thinks he's oh so clever.


i have to agree in a way. perhaps to chris, the plea is the same a making an apology video. of course if the plea doesn't change anything, chris might flip out because (as i've said before) "he did the right thing" and should just be let go


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## ChurchOfGodBear (May 5, 2015)

Holdek said:


> Yes, but if you look at the general arc it's been heading inexorably down, with a sharp acceleration in that direction after high school, and I don't see anything on the horizon that will change that.


That's my view as well.  No, we don't know what Chris will do in the future.  However, he has a pattern of being really stupid and impulsive, and his idea of how the world works is both paranoid and naive.  None of this adds up to him staying out of trouble for the rest of his life.

Really, best case scenario, if everything breaks the right way, Chris might be scared enough of jail to keep to himself playing vidya in his living room and drinking sugary beer at gay bars.  He might, MAYBE, be able to just be a background player in the C-Ville world.  It could happen, but that's the best you're going to get.   It's far more likely, though, that Chris will find himself in court again over something completely stupid, once he gets his confidence back.


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## Totenkopf (May 5, 2015)

Two days!


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## BX 752 (May 5, 2015)

Let's all play our Gitar of Fails for Chris and his last 48 hours of freedom!


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## AN/ALR56 (May 5, 2015)

His trial is like a late birthday gift to me


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## zap2theextreme (May 5, 2015)

Whats going to stop it from being another continuation?


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## That Guy (May 5, 2015)

zap2theextreme said:


> Whats going to stop it from being another continuation?



Pretty sure they've ran out of continuances although better informed people can correct me on this.  I'm pretty sure there's only a finite number of times you can postpone a trial.


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## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 5, 2015)

That Guy said:


> Pretty sure they've ran out of continuances although better informed people can correct me on this.  I'm pretty sure there's only a finite number of times you can postpone a trial.


There's always a way to get a continuance. If the prosecutor isn't ready (who knows how many cases they have on deck that are more serious than Chris's offense), or if the prosecution believes that Chris won't take a plea, they can stretch it out until he finally signs a plea bargain.  That way probabation services can get cash out of Chris, as opposed to if they didn't grant a continuance, Chris pleads not guilty, the case goes before a jury costing more time and money, and he might not even be convicted.


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## Damocles_Sword (May 5, 2015)

Best case scenario is that Chris' priors are admissible, the judge sees a dangerous retard that's escalating, and has Chris complete an anger management course in lieu of a suspended sentence, if he misses a class without a damn good reason, he'll do 6 months.


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## ChurchOfGodBear (May 5, 2015)

That Guy said:


> Pretty sure they've ran out of continuances although better informed people can correct me on this.  I'm pretty sure there's only a finite number of times you can postpone a trial.


Chris has had two continuances thus far.  The number of continuances you can request before pissing a judge off is far, far higher than two.  He had three or four last time, before they finally settled down and did a plea.

Getting a continuance will be no problem at all if either side wants one.  The only question is, do they want one, or are they ready to finish?


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## Wizzrobe (May 5, 2015)

So...who if anybody here on Kiwi Farms is going to document Thursday's court hearing?


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## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 5, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> So...who if anybody here on Kiwi Farms is going to document Thursday's court hearing?


I'm curious about this too. It will most likely be another continuance, but what if it's the trial of the century and no one shows up?


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## AnOminous (May 5, 2015)

Tragi-Chan said:


> Pretty sure they've ran out of continuances although better informed people can correct me on this.  I'm pretty sure there's only a finite number of times you can postpone a trial.



Not really.  Getting a continuance is generally as simple as asking for it, so long as the other side doesn't complain.  Only when it reaches the point of obvious gamesmanship or harms the other side do you stand a chance of being denied.  There's no reason for a huge rush to try Chris.

Chris has not had a single substantive hearing in this case, and both previous continuances were for things that weren't his fault anyway.  First, there was a continuance because the hearing was basically just about letting him out of jail, and the second because for some reason the PD's office had some kind of snafu or just didn't have an appropriate lawyer for him.


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## Tragi-Chan (May 5, 2015)

I don't see Chris doing anything particularly entertaining in court. If the judge says something he doesn't like, we might get a stress sigh or a passive-aggressive glare, but I think the most likely scenario is a rant on Facebook. Chris has done some pretty stupid things and Allah willing will continue to do so, but I think even he can figure out that it wouldn't be smart to chimp out when he's facing an assault charge. His Facebook posts suggest that he is genuinely scared.

Even if you consider hot-button topics for him, like blue arms and the female pronoun, when has he actually chimped out IRL in the past? The incident for which he was arrested is the closest I can think of.



Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Chris pleading Guilty isn't the same as Chris being remorseful. In his POV, this is all just an act he puts on but time & again he proves to learn zilch from his mishaps. Pleading Guilty is Chris' way of mitigating the damage and getting off with a lighter sentence. He probably thinks he's hookwinking the Judge with this plea and thinks he's oh so clever.


... having said the above, I absolutely agree with this. It's like when one of the trolls or sweethearts would call him on his bullshit, he'd frown and nod and say, "I understand," then continue to pull the same crap as always. Pleading guilty will be another example of Chris just saying what he thinks the other person wants to hear.


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## Catastrophic (May 5, 2015)

ChurchOfGodBear said:


> Chris has had two continuances thus far.  The number of continuances you can request before pissing a judge off is far, far higher than two.  He had three or four last time, before they finally settled down and did a plea.
> 
> Getting a continuance will be no problem at all if either side wants one.  The only question is, do they want one, or are they ready to finish?



I'll bet 3 kiwis it's another continuance.


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## CWCissey (May 5, 2015)

Forget the UK general election, Chris getting another continuance is the story of the day!


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## Tubular Monkey (May 5, 2015)

I'm interested to know if Barb will accompany him to court this time.  It seemed strange to me that she didn't show up last time.


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## Wizzrobe (May 5, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> I'm interested to know if Barb will accompany him to court this time.  It seemed strange to me that she didn't show up last time.



Maybe Snorlax or Munchlax I should say was too tired/wasn't feeling good last time?


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## ZehnBoat (May 5, 2015)

i don't think chris will flip out over pronouns.
iirc, he was okay with male or female pronouns, he just thinks if you call him a her, it's flattering (because you think he's a woman).


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## bradsternum (May 5, 2015)

I approach this like I approached the prospect of dad coming home for Christmas as a kid - learned not to get my hopes up.


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## Alec Benson Leary (May 5, 2015)

He's probably going to sneak out of jail time.

The best I can hope for is he immediately leaves the court house for gamestop, picks a fight over something, and gets himself arrested for a whole new charge and day.


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## Wizzrobe (May 5, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> He's probably going to sneak out of jail time.
> 
> The best I can hope for is he immediately leaves the court house for gamestop, picks a fight over something, and gets himself arrested for a whole new charge and day.



Given how Chris eventually learned not to respond to anyone claiming to be Shigeru Miyamoto and to ignore 99 percent of the human race whenever he's online, I think he might have learned at least subconsciously to not run over people with his car/vandalize game displays at stores that sell video games just because he doesn't like [X] for whatever reason!


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## Sanae Kochiya (May 5, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Given how Chris eventually learned not to respond to anyone claiming to be Shigeru Miyamoto and to ignore 99 percent of the human race whenever he's online, I think he might have learned at least subconsciously to not run over people with his car/vandalize game displays at stores that sell video games just because he doesn't like [X] for whatever reason!


I dunno.  We believe that up until we heard that he maced a guy at the apex of his "Blue Arms" crusade.

I've come to believe that Chris is completely unpredictable.

That being said, I've stopped being too hyped about these trials.  I'll start speculating again once I hear that something happened out of them that wasn't "Continuance."


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## MrsFrizzle (May 5, 2015)

ZehnBoat said:


> i don't think chris will flip out over pronouns.
> iirc, he was okay with male or female pronouns, he just thinks if you call him a her, it's flattering (because you think he's a woman).


That was from September, and has been deprecated by an Official Facebook Pronouncement in April.


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## PantsOfDesire (May 5, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Given how Chris eventually learned not to respond to anyone claiming to be Shigeru Miyamoto and to ignore 99 percent of the human race whenever he's online, I think he might have learned at least subconsciously to not run over people with his car/vandalize game displays at stores that sell video games just because he doesn't like [X] for whatever reason!



I'm not sure. I certainly didn't expect him to flounce out of a game shop while pepper-spraying a shop assistant.


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## Marvin (May 5, 2015)

ThunderCavalier said:


> I've come to believe that Chris is completely unpredictable.


You're not paying close enough attention.

Edit: Not really you personally. This is a common sentiment, but it's incorrect. Chris is very predictable.



PantsOfDesire said:


> I'm not sure. I certainly didn't expect him to flounce out of a game shop while pepper-spraying a shop assistant.


Everything about that event was extremely typical for Chris. He does dumb shit like that all the time and no one finds out about it online.

The only relatively new thing about the gamestop event was that Chris happened to have pepper spray in his purse instead of q-sands or whatever else he carries.


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## timtommy (May 5, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Given how Chris eventually learned not to respond to anyone claiming to be Shigeru Miyamoto and to ignore 99 percent of the human race whenever he's online, I think he might have learned at least subconsciously to not run over people with his car/vandalize game displays at stores that sell video games just because he doesn't like [X] for whatever reason!



Chris does learn, just really specific lessons. Has Chris learned that pepper-spraying an employee in a store is unacceptable? Yes. Has he learned that the same lesson applies to pepper-spraying a random person on the street who bothers him? Possibly. Has he learned that the same lesson applies to something like, say throwing merchandise at an employee who irritates him? Maybe not. Has he learned the general lesson that making a nuisance of himself in public is the first step in a chain of events that could get him in trouble? Not at all.

There are so many minor crimes Chris can commit. He will never learn enough lessons to keep himself out of trouble.


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## Handsome Pete (May 5, 2015)

Alec Benson Leary said:


> He's probably going to sneak out of jail time.


Chris doesn't "sneak out" of things. He squirms out of them.


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## CornetteFace (May 5, 2015)

The word you are looking for is stumbles.


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## Yawning Asperchu (May 5, 2015)

Handsome Pete said:


> Chris doesn't "sneak out" of things. He squirms out of them.



Seriously.  If he finally pays for this crime at all, it will be his first dosage of comeuppance.


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## MrTroll (May 5, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> Given how Chris eventually learned not to respond to anyone claiming to be Shigeru Miyamoto and to ignore 99 percent of the human race whenever he's online, I think he might have learned at least subconsciously to not run over people with his car/vandalize game displays at stores that sell video games just because he doesn't like [X] for whatever reason!



Comparison doesn't work. Chris is capable of (very slowly) learning not to touch a burning stove with his hand because even a dunce like him has the capacity to (eventually) comprehend the relationship between simple cause and effect. Assaulting and vandalizing people and things that offend him comes from a deep-seated sense of entitlement that's a core element of his personality.


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## Luvs2Sperg789 (May 5, 2015)

Yawning Asperchu said:


> Seriously.  If he finally pays for this crime at all, it will be his first dosage of comeuppance.



Not counting the doses with Fanta chasers


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## Kosher Dill (May 5, 2015)

Marvin said:


> The only relatively new thing about the gamestop event was that Chris happened to have pepper spray in his purse instead of q-sands or whatever else he carries.


I really, really hope this means he's pelted retail employees with q-sands in the past.


----------



## Lipitor (May 5, 2015)

MrTroll said:


> Comparison doesn't work. Chris is capable of (very slowly) learning not to touch a burning stove with his hand because even a dunce like him has the capacity to (eventually) comprehend the relationship between simple cause and effect. Assaulting and vandalizing people and things that offend him comes from a deep-seated sense of entitlement that's a core element of his personality.


I think the Christian is a slow learner thing is a little misrepresented on the forums. He's generally not bright and may have a few learning disabilities, but he can learn things fairly quickly. The problem is if the lesson is something he doesn't want to be true he will continually reject it until reality hits him in the face. 

He's perfectly capable of realizing no girl will ever want him, but he doesn't WANT to believe that so he still thinks she's out there. He knows better than to mace store employees but he feels entitled to his angry outbursts. It's not learning that's hard for him it's accepting truths.


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## nad7155 (May 5, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I think the Christian is a slow learner thing is a little misrepresented on the forums.



Yes and no.

He CAN learn, just not like a "normal" person.  

His bad combo of 'tism, inflated ego, and upbringing resulted in the mess we laugh at/pity today.


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## drmccoy (May 5, 2015)

1. Nothing bad will happen. I'd be really surprised if it did, even with his priors. 

2. He ain't gonna chimp out. He knows he's in some trouble. If anything it will be like last time: a brief, muted outburst that everybody ignores because he's a "adult, autistic child". 

3. I predict he'll get off easy. Mental disability combined with a plea deal. 

4. He'll learn nothing. As others have pointed out he is doing this because he has learned that it's expected. And he knows he's in deep shit otherwise. 

5. He will, possibly, at least learn that using fucking pepper spray on store employees is really, _really, _fucking dumb because of stupid fucking Sonic. 

6. Perhaps, and this is a stretch, he will learn that "brute males" should be ignored and he shouldn't act like a retard in public. But I highly doubt it from what Marv has said about his non-internet escapades.


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## Zarkon (May 5, 2015)

I'm guessing if something goes down, it'll be covered in the local media.   Like, if Chris decided to talk to the judge about the trolls and then void his bowels when he's put into the mental hospital for a few days.


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## SJWs are cool (May 5, 2015)

Zarkon said:


> I'm guessing if something goes down, it'll be covered in the local media.   Like, if Chris decided to talk to the judge about the trolls and then void his bowels when he's put into the mental hospital for a few days.


r u 12?

edit: lol guess a few twelve year olds ended up butthurt


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## Marvin (May 5, 2015)

lipitor said:


> He's perfectly capable of realizing no girl will ever want him, but he doesn't WANT to believe that so he still thinks she's out there.


Chris cannot tell that he's ugly. He can't tell that he looks strange, aside from possibly being a man in a skirt. He thinks the only thing that distinguishes him is his penis, and he's taking steps to hide that.

Chris has always been very confused as to why he has so much trouble with women.


lipitor said:


> He knows better than to mace store employees but he feels entitled to his angry outbursts. It's not learning that's hard for him it's accepting truths.


This is true a lot of the time. Chris is remorseful of this recent incident because he's seen the video of himself macing that guy.


drmccoy said:


> 6. Perhaps, and this is a stretch, he will learn that "brute males" should be ignored and he shouldn't act like a exceptional individual in public. But I highly doubt it from what Marv has said about his non-internet escapades.


It seems that among the retail shops in the area, Chris is considered a cost of doing business.

Heh, though not being able to shop anywhere in the area without getting hassled is becoming a pain in the ass for Chris. He might start toning down his act purely for that reason.


----------



## JudgeDredd (May 5, 2015)

Look this may have been said but speculation should be kept to a minimum lot of the posts here seem alogish k? Look what ever happens happens. All this thread is a gigantic pissing match between the chris is goin to jail crowd and the chris aint getting crap crowd and I for one am sick of it. In the forum in irc in thread. all over k?

So everyone sperged out now lets close this thing and hold our toungs til the 7th alright?


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (May 5, 2015)

Chunky just never deveopled good impulse control. 

He never, or hardly ever thinks an action all the way through before he does it.  If it seems like a good idea at the time he just does it. 

To be fair though, a lot of people have this problem it just that Chunky takes it to (zaps) a extreme.


----------



## cahoots (May 5, 2015)

Zarkon said:


> I'm guessing if something goes down, it'll be covered in the local media.   Like, if Chris decided to talk to the judge about the trolls and then void his bowels when he's put into the mental hospital for a few days.



Where do you live that retards shitting their pants makes the news.


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 5, 2015)

Zarkon said:


> I'm guessing if something goes down, it'll be covered in the local media.   Like, if Chris decided to talk to the judge about the trolls and then void his bowels when he's put into the mental hospital for a few days.



I can tell you take South Park too literally...

I have my doubts that this court appearance will spur any interesting results anymore. He'll end up fading in the background noise, much like he faded away from his "regular contacts".


----------



## butt in trouble (May 5, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Chris has always been very confused as to why he has so much trouble with women.


Nah, he figured it out years ago. It's because jerks have taken all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from. And he will believe this until the day he dies. It feeds his ego because he doesn't have to admit any fault on his part and it feeds his victim complex because men obviously date women just to annoy him.


----------



## Wizzrobe (May 5, 2015)

butt in trouble said:


> Nah, he figured it out years ago. It's because jerks have taken all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from.



Yeah! He suffers from that "Noviophobia" disorder. I hear it's pretty serious among loveshies and incels these days!


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 5, 2015)

Marvin said:


> He might start toning down his act purely for that reason.



Chris blames SEGA for his current legal woes (not himself). It's all their fault for making him so #triggered about the blarms, as well as his frustration that no one else is bothering to wage jihad against SEGA so he HAS to go out and do it himself.


----------



## soIregistered (May 6, 2015)

JudgeDredd said:


> Look this may have been said but speculation should be kept to a minimum lot of the posts here seem alogish k?



Well, who died and left you...oh, wait. Judge Dredd. Well, you are the law.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 6, 2015)

Chris can try all he wants to tone it down.  I have a feeling if something tweaks him, which can be anything from video game displays to male nipples, he's going to go into that strange autistic version of fight or flight that always gets him in trouble.  He could be having a perfectly normal* day, right up to the point where he notices a man holding a woman's hand and decides to key the guy's car.  I don't trust Chris's self control when he goes into primal mode.


----------



## Holdek (May 6, 2015)

butt in trouble said:


> Nah, he figured it out years ago. It's because jerks have taken all the pretty girls leaving him with none to choose from. And he will believe this until the day he dies. It feeds his ego because he doesn't have to admit any fault on his part and it feeds his victim complex because men obviously date women just to annoy him.


He's used to this rationalization to try to understand his situation but I don't think it's adequate to him.  If it was he would have given up a long time ago.  

And besides now that he's trying to attract lesbians, noviophobia is no longer an excuse.  



Tubular Monkey said:


> Chris can try all he wants to tone it down.  I have a feeling if something tweaks him, which can be anything from video game displays to male nipples, he's going to go into that strange autistic version of fight or flight that always gets him in trouble.  He could be having a perfectly normal* day, right up to the point where he notices a man holding a woman's hand and decides to key the guy's car.  I don't trust Chris's self control when he goes into primal mode.


At least he's taken to warning people on Facebook not to challenge an autist when he's feeling his feels.


----------



## Professor Iris (May 6, 2015)

I honestly thought the court case was yesterday, I was wondering why nobody was speaking about it. Anybody heading up there tomorrow?




Zarkon said:


> I'm guessing if something goes down, it'll be covered in the local media.   Like, if Chris decided to talk to the judge about the trolls and then void his bowels when he's put into the mental hospital for a few days.



Good _God, _why do some people think that Chris' reaction to being sentenced or otherwise being in trouble is just to let out a big stress sigh and shit himself?
It's *INCREDIBLY *hard to believe, but Chris does have some restraint. A little restraint. At least not to go poopies in front of a judge.

Right?

...._right?_


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 6, 2015)

I'm thinking that the most he'll end up doing if he's sentenced to jail time is mouth off a little. The judge is just being intolerant of his lesbian soul!!! 

But it's Chris, so who knows. He might have a hissy over community service too.

It'll most likely be uneventful, but I still hope a Kiwi can get over there! Just in case.


----------



## Holdek (May 6, 2015)

El Rodrigo said:


> Good _God, _why do some people think that Chris' reaction to being sentenced or otherwise being in trouble is just to let out a big stress sigh and shit himself?
> It's *INCREDIBLY *hard to believe, but Chris does have some restraint. A little restraint. At least not to go poopies in front of a judge.
> 
> Right?
> ...


I'd say he probably won't , but the chance that he will is not insignificant.  Greater than 10% at least.  IIRC Marvin says Chris craps his briefs every couple of months, and in front of a judge is just as good a time as any, I suppose.  Hmm, yeah.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 6, 2015)

Principessa said:


> But it's Chris, so who knows. He might have a hissy over community service too.



Just what sort of Community Service can Chris perform while dressed like THAT? Hell, even if Chris tries to pull off that Lemonade Stand dodge again, would you drink anything poured by someone who dresses like Chris does these days? With fingers that are still stinky from poo and taint-twiddling?

And who wants to guess that if Chris does get sentenced to jail time, Chris starts mouthing off at the Judge cuz he thinks he has nothing left to lose (not knowing that Contempt of Court can result in even MORE jail time added on)?


----------



## ZehnBoat (May 6, 2015)

lipitor said:


> He's perfectly capable of realizing no girl will ever want him, but he doesn't WANT to believe that so he still thinks she's out there. He knows better than to mace store employees but he feels entitled to his angry outbursts. It's not learning that's hard for him it's accepting truths.


i am trying to find chris' quote of "i'd rather believe a lie, than accept a truth i don't like"
but i can't seem to find it.


----------



## Chris-Chan Cure (May 6, 2015)

ZehnBoat said:


> i am trying to find chris' quote of "i'd rather believe a lie, than accept a truth i don't like"
> but i can't seem to find it.


It was on the subject of assburgers:
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2010#15_January


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> would you drink anything poured by someone who dresses like Chris does these days?




Who said that anyone did the last time?
He had a lot of online donations and also people helping him.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 6, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> Who said that anyone did the last time?
> He had a lot of online donations and also people helping him.



Chris was just starting to enter his Tomgirl phase, but I don't think Chris was dressing anywhere near as freaky as he does now.


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Chris was just starting to enter his Tomgirl phase, but I don't think Chris was dressing anywhere near as freaky as he does now.



It wouldn't really matter if he sells any drinks at all.
The material (including posters and lemonade) were supplied by the charity last time, so even if he sits on his table for 3 days straight and sells not a single glass it will count as time "served".


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 6, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> It wouldn't really matter if he sells any drinks at all.
> The material (including posters and lemonade) were supplied by the charity last time, so even if he sits on his table for 3 days straight and sells not a single glass it will count as time "served".



Well, that's still a pretty shit way to do "Community Service", imo. Where's the penance in that?


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Well, that's still a pretty shit way to do "Community Service", imo. Where's the penance in that?



I don't think it is a matter of quantity but rather how much time you spend doing what ever counts as "community service".
If you are sentenced to pick up garbage in a park and you only pick up 1 can in 200 hours it is still "served"


----------



## AnOminous (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> And who wants to guess that if Chris does get sentenced to jail time, Chris starts mouthing off at the Judge cuz he thinks he has nothing left to lose (not knowing that Contempt of Court can result in even MORE jail time added on)?



No, the most he does is roll his eyes and look aggrieved, while thinking he's restraining himself.

There are actually judges who will slap someone with contempt for just rolling their eyes or taking a whiny tone of voice, but the odds of him running into a real hardass are pretty low.


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

Also, from a Lawyer in VA



> *What Counts as Court Community Service?*
> Some of my clients end up doing community service due to their traffic cases, whether it is court ordered or simply in preparation for trial. One question many of them have is: what counts as community service?
> 
> *Court community service must be done at a non-profit organization.* This means that you cannot simply volunteer for a business and call it community service. A non-profit organization is *a group like a charity, school, church, or government body*.



This means that Rocky can take him in and just give him anything to do (including sitting on his bottom and playing 3DS whilst pretending to sweep the church floor or just giving him a no-show job and signing off on the papers)


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 6, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> Also, from a Lawyer in VA
> 
> 
> 
> This means that Rocky can take him in and just give him anything to do (including sitting on his bottom and playing 3DS whilst pretending to sweep the church floor or just giving him a no-show job and signing off on the papers)



Well, that would be a real travesty if it went down that way....again. It's not teaching Chris anything about responsibility. In fact, it's only putting it in his precious fat head that he can do whatever he wants and all it results in is a mere inconvenience.

There's no A-Logging in wanting Chris to learn "Stove. Hot. Ow. Burn. Bad. Don't touch stove."


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Well, that would be a real travesty if it went down that way....again. It's not teaching Chris anything about responsibility. In fact, it's only putting it in his precious fat head that he can do whatever he wants and all it results in is a mere inconvenience.



Pretty much.
Even "normal" community service like volunteering in a library or thrift shop wouldn't teach Chris anything but rather feed his victim complex.
It's not like he's gonna do any work either way, he would just be a burden on anyone that has to mind him.


----------



## That Guy (May 6, 2015)

I'm gonna be so mad if Chris gets community service and then has Rocky sign off on a couple no-show jobs.

He needs to experience something real like fixing playgrounds or picking up trash on the roadside.  It's more than time for him to get some real consequences for the actions he's displayed.


----------



## AnOminous (May 6, 2015)

That Guy said:


> I'm gonna be so mad if Chris gets community service and then has Rocky sign off on a couple no-show jobs.



You don't generally just get community service, but that and a fine, and on a fixed income, that will cut into his Lego-buying budget for a while. 

He'll also consider it the most horrible injustice ever, no matter what it is.

I'd actually kind of of like it if he got some fairly expected fine plus community service bullshit, then blows off the community service like last time, gets his probation revoked, and then does jail time for that.


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> gets his probation revoked



Unlikely.
He will very likely get a stern talking to from his probation officer and a fine for skipping his service and honour his obligations in the face of the IMMEDIATE threat of getting locked up.
You get plenty of warning(generally including additionalfines) for missing your court-ordered service before you might eventually get locked up


----------



## AnOminous (May 6, 2015)

January Cyst said:


> Unlikely.
> He will very likely get a stern talking to from his probation officer and a fine for skipping his service and honour his obligations in the face of the IMMEDIATE threat of getting locked up.
> You get plenty of warning(generally including additionalfines) for missing your court-ordered service before you might eventually get locked up



I'd settle for that.  Seriously, he'd take being forced to actually _do_ the community service just as badly as jail.


----------



## Very Honest Content (May 6, 2015)

I wasn't ever clear on just what the PD personnel mix-up was at his last date that helped contribute to his last continuance but whatever the generally accepted number of requested/granted without argument continuances is for his particular venue/judge for this case, that's one that I'm guessing won't count towards that tally, so even if his 'correct' PD is there this time, there's almost a certain lock that he's getting another one granted unopposed and will be back in court in about five weeks to open the next chapter in this case, then depending on the details of where the blame for that mix-up lay, you might see at least one more continuance granted I'd be willing to wager meaning you're looking at this getting settled around July at the earliest.

Unless he grows a spine and demands, as is his right to, that he have his day in court right now to his PD, who will of course try to dissuade him from following through on that idea.  If I were him I might say screw it and roll the dice with a speedy trial just to get it over with and move on to the next phase hoping that the mitigating factors of autism diagnosis/elderly mother I lived with that I care for would keep the punishment from being on the severe side should a guilty verdict come back.  If Gamestop guy isn't there to testify to any statements he swore out to the police in front of the jury he might be able to even survive the video of the incident being delivered into the record if he finds a gullible juror or two who says they 'can't see' anything being sprayed since the amount of mace he spritzed was so miniscule.  Since there's a lot of back-channel reports of him being terrified by this whole ordeal though, that's not going to happen unless he wakes up in 'bad-ass self' mode though and that's all more the pity.


----------



## January Cyst (May 6, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> I'd settle for that.  Seriously, he'd take being forced to actually _do_ the community service just as badly as jail.



Pretty sure Barb wouldn't let that happen.
She will side with Chris and fight for their right even if it is daft, but if the choice is binary (don't go to community service and jail or force Chris to go) she will make him go.
Chris locked up means no tugboat (a good $1300/month less for the Chandler household) and no one to fetch  and to spoon with at night.


----------



## Holdek (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Well, that's still a pretty shit way to do "Community Service", imo. Where's the penance in that?


That wasn't part of his sentence.  The lemonade thing was before his trial.



January Cyst said:


> Also, from a Lawyer in VA
> 
> 
> 
> This means that Rocky can take him in and just give him anything to do (including sitting on his bottom and playing 3DS whilst pretending to sweep the church floor or just giving him a no-show job and signing off on the papers)


I think that's more or less what happened last time.



Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> real travesty


Let's not get too carried away.



Very Honest Content said:


> I wasn't ever clear on just what the PD personnel mix-up was at his last date that helped contribute to his last continuance but whatever the generally accepted number of requested/granted without argument continuances is for his particular venue/judge for this case, that's one that I'm guessing won't count towards that tally, so even if his 'correct' PD is there this time, there's almost a certain lock that he's getting another one granted unopposed and will be back in court in about five weeks to open the next chapter in this case, then depending on the details of where the blame for that mix-up lay, you might see at least one more continuance granted I'd be willing to wager meaning you're looking at this getting settled around July at the earliest.
> 
> Unless he grows a spine and demands, as is his right to, that he have his day in court right now to his PD, who will of course try to dissuade him from following through on that idea.  If I were him I might say screw it and roll the dice with a speedy trial just to get it over with and move on to the next phase hoping that the mitigating factors of autism diagnosis/elderly mother I lived with that I care for would keep the punishment from being on the severe side should a guilty verdict come back.  If Gamestop guy isn't there to testify to any statements he swore out to the police in front of the jury he might be able to even survive the video of the incident being delivered into the record if he finds a gullible juror or two who says they 'can't see' anything being sprayed since the amount of mace he spritzed was so miniscule.  Since there's a lot of back-channel reports of him being terrified by this whole ordeal though, that's not going to happen unless he wakes up in 'bad-ass self' mode though and that's all more the pity.



I really wish we could get a field agent to convince him to represent himself pro se, demand a jury trial, and subpoena a representative of Sega to examine about blarms.


----------



## deeman (May 6, 2015)

Wow... time sure fly! I better put this on my MP3 player for tomorrow...


----------



## Lipitor (May 6, 2015)

Holdek said:


> That wasn't part of his sentence.  The lemonade thing was before his trial.
> 
> 
> I think that's more or less what happened last time.
> ...



I will work on that.


----------



## Luz Noceda (May 6, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Chris was just starting to enter his Tomgirl phase, but I don't think Chris was dressing anywhere near as freaky as he does now.


I hope she will learn how to dress properly as a 33 year old and not a five year old girl playing dress up.


----------



## A Ghost (May 6, 2015)

kuzronk said:


> I hope she will learn how to dress properly as a 33 year old and not a five year old girl playing dress up.


im pretty sure that ship as sailed i can picture if he ends up in jail he will be whining about how he can't wear his tomgirl stuff


----------



## timtommy (May 6, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> No, the most he does is roll his eyes and look aggrieved, while thinking he's restraining himself.
> 
> There are actually judges who will slap someone with contempt for just rolling their eyes or taking a whiny tone of voice, but the odds of him running into a real hardass are pretty low.



I would think his autism should give him some legitimate leeway in terms of courtroom behaviour. Social clues are something he struggles with as part of his disability.

If he has a real outburst, than sure, he should be censured. But I think you have to allow him to act a little weird and awkward in court, because he is incapable of not being weird and awkward.



Holdek said:


> That wasn't part of his sentence.  The lemonade thing was before his trial.


Wouldn't it be problematic to have someone sell lemonade (where I assume the target market is largely children) as part of a criminal sentence? 

In general, how do charities feel about people using them to complete community service brought on by a sentence? Particularly if it involves interacting with the public?


----------



## Skeletor (May 6, 2015)

Wonder if he parks in the judge's spot again. Honestly, at some level I kinda admire the sassiness of that move.


----------



## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (May 6, 2015)

It is almost May 7 already! Brother, time really flies when Chris is awaiting trial!


----------



## Lipitor (May 6, 2015)

timtommy said:


> I would think his autism should give him some legitimate leeway in terms of courtroom behaviour. Social clues are something he struggles with as part of his disability.
> 
> If he has a real outburst, than sure, he should be censured. But I think you have to allow him to act a little weird and awkward in court, because he is incapable of not being weird and awkward.
> 
> ...



I mean if the judge is smart he'll see that he has no job and he'll sentence him to community service thats in the same vein as something working autistic people do. It would actually be really smart in terms of rehabilitating him.


----------



## AnOminous (May 6, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I mean if the judge is smart he'll see that he has no job and he'll sentence him to community service thats in the same vein as something working autistic people do. It would actually be really smart in terms of rehabilitating him.



Which is why, just as you can't expect they're going to throw the book at him and bury him under the prison, they're just as unlikely to do something perfectly tailored to Chris.


----------



## Sarcastic Username (May 6, 2015)

Tomorrow morning!  I've been super busy so I haven't been able to count down the days until now.


----------



## Konstantinos (May 6, 2015)

I can't help but imagine the ending of _Cry, the Beloved Country _playing out in real life tomorrow. Barb will solemnly watch the sun rise while her son goes before the law for his crimes.

_"The great valley of Ruckersville is still in darkness, but the light will come there. 14BC is still in darkness, but the light will come there also."_


----------



## GS 281 (May 6, 2015)

I hope Chris gets there nice and early. The judge is going to see someone parked in his space and look over the car. Without flinching, the judge will say to himself "oh yeah, that asshole's case is today", take out a souvenir gavel his son-in-law gave him and smash out Chris' taillight.


----------



## Skeletor (May 6, 2015)

lipitor said:


> I mean if the judge is smart he'll see that he has no job and he'll sentence him to community service thats in the same vein as something working autistic people do. It would actually be really smart in terms of rehabilitating him.



Very doubtful that the judge will give it that much thought.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 6, 2015)

Any brave local Kiwis covering the court date?


----------



## JudgeDredd (May 6, 2015)

Dont think so just because we dont know what will happen. Which means along with it in itself being a damn good reason to go could very well end up a colossal waste of time. Which means probaby no one will go.

On a side note I hope karmaticly speaking chris gets a hard ass judge. Which he has a chance at getting I mean they got cameras they saw him park in a judges space and them boys probably were not amused.

But yeah with all the shit he has caused/done from a karmatic standpoint it aint good. I think last time was his last chance and he is not getting off easy.


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 6, 2015)

Hey guys, I don't know if it's been mentioned before, but does anybody know what time this is supposed to start tomorrow?


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Principessa said:


> Hey guys, I don't know if it's been mentioned before, but does anybody know what time this is supposed to start tomorrow?



Half 9 isn't it?


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

I cannot wait until it's half-past a broken Sonichu medallion up my ass tomorrow.

Is it going to be an end of an era? Will fate spare the budget for one last season? #TRUEandHONEST


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

JudgeDredd said:


> Dont think so just because we dont know what will happen. Which means along with it in itself being a damn good reason to go could very well end up a colossal waste of time. Which means probaby no one will go.



Now imagine that if no agents show up at the court date, this WOULD be that once-in-a-lifetime event that Chris spouts off something mouthy in front of the Judge when Chris takes umbrage to being called "someone with Aspergers" or "gay", the Judge verbally smacks him down to be quiet and then Chris totally flips his shit and the bailiffs pile on top of him as if he were a free donut at Krispy Kreme. Tables getting overturned, chairs being knocked over, the PAK-PAK-PAK-PAK sound of  a taser being fired. A sight that A-Log would sell his left nut to witness.

And no Kiwi was there to see it?

Are you sure you want to miss out on even the small chance of that happening? Besides, we need an agent's eyewitness testimony in order to counter Chris' obvious bullshit version he would post if he thinks he can get away with telling only his side of the story.


----------



## Lipitor (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> Any brave local Kiwis covering the court date?





Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Now imagine that if no agents show up at the court date, this WOULD be that once-in-a-lifetime event that Chris spouts off something mouthy in front of the Judge when Chris takes umbrage to being called "someone with Aspergers" or "gay", the Judge verbally smacks him down to be quiet and then Chris totally flips his shit and the bailiffs pile on top of him as if he were a free donut at Krispy Kreme. Tables getting overturned, chairs being knocked over, the PAK-PAK-PAK-PAK sound of  a taser being fired. A sight that A-Log would sell his left nut to witness.
> 
> And no Kiwi was there to see it?
> 
> Are you sure you want to miss out on even the small chance of that happening? Besides, we need an agent's eyewitness testimony in order to counter Chris' obvious bullshit version he would post if he thinks he can get away with telling only his side of the story.



Don't worry about this.


----------



## BOLDYSPICY! (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> Any brave local Kiwis covering the court date?





lipitor said:


> Don't worry about this.


Does this mean you're our brave Kiwi field agent (again)? & if so, is @heyyyJackiePie going too? Also, wasn't @Rammspieler also talking about going?


----------



## soIregistered (May 7, 2015)

It really does seem like just yesterday it was Christmastime, and Chris' spaghetti mall excursion and Skylander shopping was ruined by some aggressive jerk male and he was forced to defend his petite feminine self. #peppergate


----------



## GS 281 (May 7, 2015)

I propose that all kiwis do not use their cellphones tomorrow as a showing of solidarity for our leader. The war cry of "Don't call anybody" will never be forgotten.


----------



## Save Goober (May 7, 2015)

I bet he parks in the judges parking spot again


----------



## rugg247 (May 7, 2015)

I don't know what's more idiotic.. parking in the judges spot knowingly, or obliviously.


----------



## Pizza The Hutt (May 7, 2015)

Field agent should really report it to the authorities if he does park in the judge's spot again. Would be the only likely punishment Chris would be facing today.


----------



## BF 388 (May 7, 2015)

So what is the time there in Ameriland? Currently late afternoon on the 7th here.


----------



## Picklechu (May 7, 2015)

Jesus said:


> So what is the time there in Ameriland? Currently late afternoon on the 7th here.





Spoiler: Google


----------



## Cantra (May 7, 2015)

It is 4:30 AM in Virginia right now.


----------



## BF 388 (May 7, 2015)

Not long to go then!


----------



## GS 281 (May 7, 2015)

Jesus said:


> So what is the time there in Ameriland? Currently late afternoon on the 7th here.


4:57AM. That means Chris is awake... after a long night of LEGOS and Officer Nasty.


----------



## BF 388 (May 7, 2015)

I wonder which got more attention?


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Jesus said:


> I wonder which got more attention?



The Lego of course, Chris has a notoriously low sex drive now. 

Also masturbation apparently hurts him due to his crooked dick.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

rugg247 said:


> I don't know what's more idiotic.. parking in the judges spot knowingly, or obliviously.



Maybe he "thinks" that parking in the Judge's spot may prevent the Judge from getting to work on time, thus delaying the inevitable.

Plus I wish we could set up a countdown clock to The Big Moment.





(Please don't buy up all the Churros before I get there, k?)


----------



## Holdek (May 7, 2015)

timtommy said:


> I would think his autism should give him some legitimate leeway in terms of courtroom behaviour. Social clues are something he struggles with as part of his disability.
> 
> If he has a real outburst, than sure, he should be censured. But I think you have to allow him to act a little weird and awkward in court, because he is incapable of not being weird and awkward.



Pretty sure that's what happened last time with the "That lying Snyder doesn't deserve a single red cent!" outburst.



timtommy said:


> In general, how do charities feel about people using them to complete community service brought on by a sentence? Particularly if it involves interacting with the public?



It happens all the time, because often charities are the only means available to carry out the sentence, and they could use the manpower anyway.


----------



## TrippinKahlua (May 7, 2015)

Time for the obligatory "Court Day" Post






After the last two times were he got a continuance, I don't blame anyone for not going today. It'll probably, again, lead to another wasteful court appearance.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (May 7, 2015)

TrippinKahlua said:


> I don't blame anyone for not going today.


No one shows up and then that's the time Chris actually gets sentenced, and even makes a scene.

It's kind of like a team of astronomers waiting to see a recurring meteor shower. Every time they gather at the site, it's cloudy. Then they decide "aw, screw it." No one shows up, and then the sky is clear with one last brilliant shower never seen before.

Really though, I'm guessing a continuance is likely again.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

Less than an hour to go. Park in the Judge's spot again, Chris. I dare ya!


----------



## Anchuent Christory (May 7, 2015)

rugg247 said:


> I don't know what's more idiotic.. parking in the judges spot knowingly, or obliviously.


I'm guessing that because he's had a disabled parking sticker his whole driving career it's never even occurred to him to look for signs telling him not to park in specific spots.
I'm also guessing that if he was challenged, he'd still argue. Not necessarily because he believes he has the right to park there, but because he automatically responds negatively to any authority figure telling him not to do something.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

Just got a text from someone there that contractors are now building a gallows & a cremation pit behind the courthouse. This don't look good for Christine.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 7, 2015)

Still somewhat hopeful of a Kiwi riding into the courtroom to report another continuance today. It probably won't happen, and instead someone will be vigorously refreshing his case number online, but one can still dream, right?
Right?


----------



## Sarcastic Username (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> Half 9 isn't it?


I thought it was 9:30, too.  But looking at the website, it's actually scheduled for 10:30 AM.

Was this a change?  I think we've got screenshots in the thread about the April 2nd court date.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (May 7, 2015)

Sarcastic Username said:


> I thought it was 9:30, too.  But looking at the website, it's actually scheduled for 10:30 AM.
> 
> Was this a change?  I think we've got screenshots in the thread about the April 2nd court date.


Maybe the judge is running late because he couldn't find a parking spot?


----------



## SonChu's Oil Change (May 7, 2015)

Is the betting window closed after 9am?  Too late to go a grand on continuance at 5/2 odds?


----------



## Tragi-Chan (May 7, 2015)

From about 20 seconds in.


----------



## Optimus Prime (May 7, 2015)

Pizza The Hutt said:


> Field agent should really report it to the authorities if he does park in the judge's spot again. Would be the only likely punishment Chris would be facing today.



OPL has to drag himself out of his house to go to court, secretly (or not, kind of hard to tell at this point after OP Chris Eater II's anti-climax) fearing that he's going to be punished (even a slap on the wrist, a fine, and enforced community service would be the same as a gulag sentence to Chris because he actually has to do shit he doesn't like _physically_ for long hours). 

To have Chris actually _fear_ repercussion by way of the judicial system when all his life he constantly thinks he's above the law with his get-out-of-jail Autism card (and now maybe  the tranny card?) undermines his entire thought pattern and it's torture in all likelihood.


----------



## Bluespike (May 7, 2015)

I 


ToroidalBoat said:


> Wear the pickle suit and see what happens.



I think Chris will automatically remember someone if they had one major detail, ex. The Pickle Suit or a Brown Striped shirt


----------



## heyyyJackiePie (May 7, 2015)

OK, I've seen a picture of what he's wearing today and ... just ... will let @lipitor post later. It's basically white trash meets the Kentucky Derby.


----------



## ZehnBoat (May 7, 2015)

all this talk about courts is making me think of the trail in sonichu. and how i'm kind of wanting that to be reversed onto chris, not in real life, but in the comic.
anyway, it's just past 9:30. wish it was at 9:30 and not 10:30.
but i can wait one more hour.


----------



## Sir Walter Raleigh (May 7, 2015)

Initial reports are already coming in from field agents....


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> OK, I've seen a picture of what he's wearing today and ... just ... will let @lipitor post later. It's basically white trash meets the Kentucky Derby.



Can you tell us if Fatty parked in the Judge's spot again?


----------



## Sigyn (May 7, 2015)

Today's the day, huh? Good to know someone's there to see it.


----------



## Totenkopf (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> OK, I've seen a picture of what he's wearing today and ... just ... will let @lipitor post later. It's basically white trash meets the Kentucky Derby.



Shout outs to @lipitor for taking one for the team! It's Kiwis like you that keep the dream alive!


----------



## heyyyJackiePie (May 7, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> Can you tell us if Fatty parked in the Judge's spot again?


He is parked in a Handicap spot which is right next to the Judge spot. It's very clearly labeled. So this is the third time now he's parked in special parking spots.


----------



## JSGOTI (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> He is parked in a Handicap spot which is right next to the Judge spot. It's very clearly labeled. So this is the third time now he's parked in special parking spots.


How about a rear license plate, is that present?


----------



## MrsFrizzle (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> He is parked in a Handicap spot which is right next to the Judge spot. It's very clearly labeled. So this is the third time now he's parked in special parking spots.


Chris has a handicapped parking permit, though.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> He is parked in a Handicap spot which is right next to the Judge spot. It's very clearly labeled. So this is the third time now he's parked in special parking spots.



If he doesn't have a Handicap tag in the window, call it in to Traffic Control. The Power is in your hands to deliver some Justice.


----------



## Marvin (May 7, 2015)

LordCustos3 said:


> Nick Bate will need a cellmate.
> Would that be punishment enough?
> 
> (for which one, I don't know.)


Heh, I'd rate this a-logging if I could.

Chris doesn't deserve that. Chris is annoying, sure, but Nick Bate is scum. Terrible, shit-scented scum.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

While we await the verdict, let's all enjoy this new pic post by Curtsibling.


Spoiler


----------



## heyyyJackiePie (May 7, 2015)

OK, he has an handicap parking tag displayed so he is OK to part there. Thanks @MrsFrizzle for asking about that. Also, he has a rear license plate now.


----------



## JSGOTI (May 7, 2015)

Glad to hear that he found it, and didn't accidentally mail it out with one of his medallions.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

JSGOTI said:


> Glad to hear that he found it, and didn't accidentally mail it out with one of his medallions.



That would have been hilarious!


----------



## Anchuent Christory (May 7, 2015)

Marvin said:


> Heh, I'd rate this a-logging if I could.
> 
> Chris doesn't deserve that. Chris is annoying, sure, but Nick Bate is scum. Terrible, shit-scented scum.


Yeah, clicking on any other lolcow thread on this forum shows just how far down Chris is on the scale of internet douchebags. His appeal comes from the fact that he isn't consistently obnoxious.


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> OK, he has an handicap parking tag displayed so he is OK to part there. Thanks @MrsFrizzle for asking about that. Also, he has a rear license plate now.



Lol wtf for? He's not physically disabled. Does parking in regular spots stress him out too much? Or is it for Snorlax?


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Principessa said:


> Lol wtf for? He's not physically disabled. Does parking in regular spots stress him out too much? Or is it for Snorlax?



It's something for nothing. Also I imagine that if you get disability welfare in the States you get the blue badge. I'm sure someone here will correct me if I'm wrong.


----------



## January Cyst (May 7, 2015)

Principessa said:


> Lol wtf for? He's not physically disabled. Does parking in regular spots stress him out too much? Or is it for Snorlax?







			
				CWCki said:
			
		

> *Handicap parking permit*
> Being a high-functioning autistic male, Chris has also been granted a handicap parking permit, clearly visible in the photographs of the car.
> 
> Chris should be thanking his lucky stars that he lives in 1 of only 2 states (the other being New York) in which you can get a disabled permit for being autistic. A quick Google search on the topic reveals that these permits are intended for the benefit of parents whose autistic children bolt into traffic or go mental in the store. In Virginia, a doctor must sign off on the application for the original permit, but not on subsequent renewals[5]. Given this, it's likely that Barb applied for it when Chris was a child, and the family has kept the permit so long because their fat, lazy asses can't be bothered to walk more than a few yards. Obviously, every second Chris leaves Son-Chu parked in a handicapped space so that he can loiter inside a business establishment is a second someone who actually can't walk more than a few yards can't park there to actually conduct business, not that Chris notices or cares.
> ...



source


----------



## Bobby Boulders (May 7, 2015)

When will everything be over with? I'm expecting another wait/stay, but still...


----------



## BT 075 (May 7, 2015)

I Be Bobby Boulders said:


> When will everything be over with? I'm expecting another wait/stay, but still...



When Barb dies.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

I Be Bobby Boulders said:


> When will everything be over with? I'm expecting another wait/stay, but still...



20 minutes or so. For this one anyway. There's still an actual trial if Chris doesn't take a plea bargain. Considering he doesn't persist in wasting the court's time of course.


----------



## Sarcastic Username (May 7, 2015)

I Be Bobby Boulders said:


> When will everything be over with? I'm expecting another wait/stay, but still...



The fact that it's 10:30 instead of 9:30 makes me  that it won't be another continuance.

No change on the details for case GC14017724-00 so far.


----------



## TrippinKahlua (May 7, 2015)

Damn, the trial starts exactly when my ferry leaves.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

9 minutes to go lads and ladettes!


----------



## rickydarius (May 7, 2015)

Somewhere some admin for the county court website is wondering why he is getting hits from around the globe for the website.  It will continue till the record is updated and then stop as mysteriously as it started.


----------



## Thomas the Tankchu (May 7, 2015)

I expect more court dates. That and more chris fashion the judge and jury have to endure.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Thomas the Tankchu said:


> I expect more court dates. That and more chris fashion the judge and jury have to endure.



Well there's no jury really, it's not a trial as such, just a hearing.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

I wonder if he's sentenced to community service (highly likely even if he got a short jail stint). Would he try to do his community service at his church? I know he'll want to do it somewhere he feels "safe".  However, would he try to get them to allow him to wear his "tomgirl" attire durring his service time?


----------



## Marvin (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> I wonder if he's sentenced to community service (highly likely even if he got a short jail stint). Would he try to do his community service at his church? I know he'll want to do it somewhere he feels "safe".  However, would he try to get them to allow him to wear his "tomgirl" attire durring his service time?


As long as he's not wearing anything vulgar, I don't think they'll care.


----------



## DuskEngine (May 7, 2015)

Is it being tweeted live or anything like that?


----------



## Holdek (May 7, 2015)

chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



You colossal arse.


----------



## Totenkopf (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



Nice meme/reference


----------



## JSGOTI (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


Like a tool, I clicked on instinct. I hate you. 
Well done.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


 Rick rolling is a crime. Rick Astley is a wonderful man and I love his first 2 albums! Such a shame he's mostly known for an internet joke nowadays.


----------



## BF 388 (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



Congratulation, I just erased your name from the book of heaven.

Permanemtly.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


----------



## Zim (May 7, 2015)

rickydarius said:


> Somewhere some admin for the county court website is wondering why he is getting hits from around the globe for the website.  It will continue till the record is updated and then stop as mysteriously as it started.



Don't you see? This was Null's plan all along. He grows this forum one IT guy at a time. The admin will get curious and google cwc and will get hooked. Then he'll tell two friends who will do the same and tell two friends. Before long Null gets so much ad revenue that he buys facebook and can look at all lolcow profiles with no problem and creates a lolcow monopoly. Chris is just a conspiracy created by Null!

Oh, and I'm thinking we're going to get another continuance.


----------



## Captain Homicide (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



You swine! I actually believed you for a second!


----------



## Skeletor (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



Justice!


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Zim said:


> Don't you see? This was Null's plan all along. He grows this forum one IT guy at a time. The admin will get curious and google cwc and will get hooked. Then he'll tell two friends who will do the same and tell two friends. Before long Null gets so much ad revenue that he buys facebook and can look at all lolcow profiles with no problem creating a lolcow monopoly. Chris is just a conspiracy created by Null!
> 
> Oh, and I'm thinking we're going to get another continuance.



Nah Null would just buy Coca Cola and spend all his time lying on his back under the nozzle of the Coke Zero vat while telling the menopausal single women and hipsters to fuck off as all the Coke Zero now belongs to him.


----------



## Blarmed&Dangerous (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

So have we got a real verdict yet?


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> What's up guys?



What's happened?


----------



## Shovel Mick (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6



Theres a time traveler in our midst! Have you come to warn us about Future Hitler?


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> What's up guys?


TELL US NOW NOW NOW NOW you "crazy sumbah"!!!


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> What's up guys?


MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS RISING @lipitor THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR


----------



## Francis York Morgan (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> So have we got a real verdict yet?



The court has officially ruled that Chris is too autistic to live.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> What's happened?


Someone set us up the bomb?

Really, the suspense is tense.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

What's the site where you can look at cases?


----------



## Marvin (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> What's the site where you can look at cases?


https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do

You're looking for Albemarle General District court. Under Traffic/Criminal, do Name Search.


----------



## Francis York Morgan (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> What's the site where you can look at cases?



https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gd...71998&clientSearchCounter=3&localFipsCode=003


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Marvin said:


> https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gdcourts/criminalDetail.do
> 
> You're looking for Albemarle General District court. Under Traffic/Criminal, do Name Search.



Thank you Marvin.

Damn! Hasn't updated yet!


----------



## Francis York Morgan (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> Damn! Hasn't updated yet!



Well, they were told not to call anybody.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (May 7, 2015)

I just went to the site. The hearing is scheduled for about 25 minutes from now.

edit: never mind, I messed up there.


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

And here I am twiddling my thumbs for *content*. Sighing for years.

Thank you Lipitor for coming in and making us feel good. :3


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> That's cuz this is taking FOREVER. I'm working on it guys.



Thank you for your services!


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> That's cuz this is taking FOREVER. I'm working on it guys.



Has the judge smacked Chris upside the head with his gavel for asking for yet another continuance?


----------



## Bobby Boulders (May 7, 2015)

I feel like an elementary school student waiting on a snow day in 50 degree weather. I'm optimistic, but I know I'm gonna be disappointed.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

ToroidalBoat said:


> I just went to the site. The hearing is scheduled for about 25 minutes from now.



No it's now 11:06am in Virginia.


----------



## lisaface (May 7, 2015)

ToroidalBoat said:


> I just went to the site. The hearing is scheduled for about 25 minutes from now.


Your time zones are off.  The court site still says 10:30, which was 35 minutes ago.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

ToroidalBoat said:


> Huh. If true, Google is wrong there.



No, you're wrong. Google told me it was 11:06.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (May 7, 2015)

CWCissey said:


> No, you're wrong. Google told me it was 11:06.


I guess I messed up there. I deleted that post because it was dumb.


----------



## Sarcastic Username (May 7, 2015)

Google is never early.  Google is never late.  Google arrives precisely when it means to.


----------



## MY 405 (May 7, 2015)

Looks like Lipator is on the job, and bear in mind that 10:30 was the start time for this round of hearings, it wasn't just for Chris. There are many defendants in a mass hearing group like this, some pleading out, some asking for jury or bench trials, some asking for continuances.  They will take Chris in the order he is pulled on the docket, might be right now, might be another hour.  Patience, ye mighty Kiwis, all will be revealed.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

Whoever's following Chris to court today should do a 'sigh' count and see how many times Chris sighs.


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> He just walked out



 AROOG?


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> Alright guys, I am sending this message on behalf of @lipitor. This is really dragging out and he hasn't left the courtroom yet. To keep you guys entertained while we wait, here's a picture of some butt wipes in his car http://i.imgur.com/TBnpaaR.jpg . The poor quality of the picture is due to the high glare on the window so this is the best I could get. Hope you enjoy.



Christina needs a trough of bleach.


----------



## Alex Krycek (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> He just walked out


So most likely another continuance, ah well. Maybe not, maybe he'll provide some insight via facebook.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> Alright guys, I am sending this message on behalf of @lipitor. This is really dragging out and he hasn't left the courtroom yet. To keep you guys entertained while we wait, here's a picture of some butt wipes in his car http://i.imgur.com/TBnpaaR.jpg . The poor quality of the picture is due to the high glare on the window so this is the best I could get. Hope you enjoy.



Could that be... ?


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

Alex Krycek said:


> So most likely another continuance, ah well. Maybe not, maybe he'll provide some insight via facebook.



Unless lipitor meant he just walked out to the judge's booth?


----------



## Chris-Chan Cure (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> http://i.imgur.com/TBnpaaR.jpg


Wow... That's some Very Honest Content.

EDIT: I can't find the Doge emoji.


----------



## gamer2014 (May 7, 2015)

His next hearing is on 11th June at 9:30am according to the website


----------



## Bobby Boulders (May 7, 2015)

gamer2014 said:


> His next hearing is on 11th June at 9:30am according to the website



It still hasn't updated for me.


----------



## Marvin (May 7, 2015)

gamer2014 said:


> His next hearing is on 11th June at 9:30am according to the website


Motherfucker.

I'm going to lunch.


----------



## Sigyn (May 7, 2015)

It says "Continued". So no verdict, huh?


----------



## Captain Homicide (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> He just walked out



...screaming, with a can of mace in hand? Please?

ETA: Not another continuance! Goddammit, Chris!


----------



## Bobby Boulders (May 7, 2015)

God damn it.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

heyyyJackiePie said:


> Oh and Barb is not there so it's just Chris. (not sure if y'all knew already).



She's probably mummifying under a pile of Goodwill trash.


----------



## CWCissey (May 7, 2015)

For fuckssakes! 

https://eapps.courts.state.va.us/gd...58652&clientSearchCounter=6&localFipsCode=003


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

So uh, Fate blew its production budget to make another few episodes of _The God and The Bear_...

Fuck me sideways.


----------



## Totenkopf (May 7, 2015)

I'm shocked and disappointed.

I really thought he was going to get the electric chair today


----------



## January Cyst (May 7, 2015)

So, uh, anodder month of vidya and legos for fatty


----------



## CatParty (May 7, 2015)




----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

It seems clearer now that the court just doesn't want to bother putting Stinky Winky on trial. Lazy bastards.


----------



## Skeletor (May 7, 2015)

We've been trolled!


----------



## Null (May 7, 2015)

Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


----------



## Sarcastic Username (May 7, 2015)

Say "Continuance" again!  I double dare you mother fucker, say "continuance" one more time!


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.



So basically nowhere fast?


----------



## Vaffanculo (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.



Good thing there's a video


----------



## CornetteFace (May 7, 2015)

We're not done with act 2 yet it seems.

A fun note is that the complainant in this case's last name is Herring, and his middle initial is R. 

IS THIS ALL A RED HERRING!?


----------



## Sir Walter Raleigh (May 7, 2015)

Pretty much assumed another continuance.  I'm just waiting for the clandestine video of Chris walking out of the court now.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.



We'll always have video evidence though.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

Its more like god damn defense attorney.  Just read a really interesting article about how in most places judges are randomly assigned cases on the day and almost always give the defense atourney benefit of the doubt and almost never refuse requests for continuances.  This results in some fairly minor cases taking literally years to get through the court.  I'm not sure from the article why defense atourney's love continuances so much (other than laziness or they get paid per appearance?)  MURICA.

Edit: The article was from Pennsylvania but likely applies in a lot of places.  It said that cases with 10-14 continuances were not unheard of.


----------



## Basedgod (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


maybe, but it's also on tape


----------



## marganagram (May 7, 2015)

Well, maybe we can hope for some nice pictures.


----------



## Chris-Chan Cure (May 7, 2015)

"Curse you Christian Weston Chandler! You may have escaped this time but We, the PVCC, Jerkops and Manajerks will get our revenge! See you again on June 11th and this time, we will get you... MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!"


----------



## DrJoshii (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


D-do you think the defense attorney will continue the trial until a gigantic solar flare releases a huge EMP wave that erases all evidences of the video and Chris's confession on facebook?

OH NO!


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

I'm starting to think it isn't worth the time to show up to these appearances.  With only a public defender on the case I have a feeling it'll be sometime in the late fall or even early 2016 before anything goes down.


----------



## 2ManyCr00ks (May 7, 2015)

Holdek said:


> chris just got sentenced to 60 days jail: http://tinyurl.com/2fcpre6


Thanks for the memories.  I soooo miss when the Internet was still fun.


----------



## DN 420 (May 7, 2015)

Strategically, this is a bad move. Have Chris do time now, because the longer he's free the higher chance he'll get himself deeper into shit.


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> I'm starting to think it isn't worth the time to show up to these appearances.  With only a public defender on the case I have a feeling it'll be sometime in the late fall or even early 2016 before anything goes down.



Or before Christina sparks a new saga?


----------



## 2ManyCr00ks (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> I'm starting to think it isn't worth the time to show up to these appearances.  With only a public defender on the case I have a feeling it'll be sometime in the late fall or even early 2016 before anything goes down.


Yes -- but we don't know when Chris is gonna make a scene.


----------



## Null (May 7, 2015)

I have seen no indication that anyone on the defense or prosecutor's side is aware of the video tape.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

Makes you wonder if the life of a small time public defender is: walk in, ask for a continuance, next case, repeat, have lunch, 2 more continuances, go home. Get paid.


----------



## Captain Homicide (May 7, 2015)

Case/Defendant Information said:
			
		

> *Gender: *Male



Shitlords.


----------



## Maruukat (May 7, 2015)

Wonderful, it got continued to June 11th.
I hope that this case/trial doesn't go on forever.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> I have seen no indication that anyone on the defense or prosecutor's side is aware of the video tape.



Sooner or later, they WILL discover it. Better chance if someone here forwarded the video to one of them.

Any sign of Barb present in court today?


----------



## marganagram (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> Its more like god damn defense attorney.  Just read a really interesting article about how in most places judges are randomly assigned cases on the day and almost always give the defense atourney benefit of the doubt and almost never refuse requests for continuances.  This results in some fairly minor cases taking literally years to get through the court.  I'm not sure from the article why defense atourney's love continuances so much (other than laziness or they get paid per appearance?)  MURICA.
> 
> Edit: The article was from Pennsylvania but likely applies in a lot of places.  It said that cases with 10-14 continuances were not unheard of.



I've heard that defense attorneys do this, asking for interminable continuances, because to the judge seeing much more serious felony cases, like murder and such, makes it increasingly more likely for said judge to give a light sentence, community service, or just drop it (time served).
But one can always hope for, you know, Justice. (Pleeease, future Judge!).


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

Apocalypso said:


> We'll always have video evidence though.



Chris: I-I-It's one of them DANG DIRTY TROLLS impersonatin' me!


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

Maruukat said:


> Wonderful, it got continued to June 11th.
> I hope that this case/trial doesn't go on forever.



The Ride Never Ends.


----------



## Atlas 95 (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> I have seen no indication that anyone on the defense or prosecutor's side is aware of the video tape.


Don't they have video from the shop's cameras?
And didn't a whole bunch of weens send the video to literally every authority in Virginia with a e-mail address?


----------



## 2ManyCr00ks (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> I have seen no indication that anyone on the defense or prosecutor's side is aware of the video tape.


Relevant question: has Internet exposure actually affected Chris in a way that's not psychological?  Did it actually got him banned from Church, or was it his own autistic actions there that did it? 
I'm not sure if employers actually "Google someone" as opposed to check credit score and criminal records.  I'm thinking that ED/CWCki hasn't affected him in any *real* manner.


----------



## SOINCHU (May 7, 2015)

I hope Chris gets hooked on drugs or coaxed into thinking that he has 1000s of men intereseted in "Christine" or...something...we need some ol' timey Chrichan antics right about now.

Only kidding but ...this lack of funny from the most absurd man on earth is hard to take.


----------



## deeman (May 7, 2015)

SOINCHU said:


> Someone please get Chris hooked on drugs or coax him into thinking that he has 1000s of men intereseted in "Christine" or...something...we need some ol' timey Chrichan antics right about now.
> 
> Only kidding but ...this lack of funny from the most absurd man on earth is hard to take.


NO AWESOME TROLLING PLANS!


----------



## 2ManyCr00ks (May 7, 2015)

We'll never see justice until Judge LoGatto is appointed to the Virginia circuit.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

2ManyCr00ks said:


> We'll never see justice until Judge LoGatto is appointed to the Virginia circuit.



Nah, we need a REAL judge to teach Stinky Winky a lesson he'll never forget.



Spoiler


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

So I guess all that's left is the Agent report, the traditional photo of 14 BLC from a car window, and Chris' Facebook whine about having to be forced out of his hole for a few hours away from his precious plastic bricks.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


The fuck does eye witness validity matter? We have video.

Edit: Late.


----------



## Muncie Anderson (May 7, 2015)

...that was a letdown.

Of course, the worst punishment Chris would get is a year in the county jail.  He's gotten another month's reprieve, so I suspect he will lay low in that time.  If he makes another scene in public in the next month, though, I won't be completely surprised.


----------



## Tragi-Chan (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


Would the defence attorney care that much? An idiot sprayed a dude because of a hedgehog. That's not exactly the sort of case that makes you the next Clarence Darrow.


----------



## Null (May 7, 2015)

Tragi-Chan said:


> Would the defence attorney care that much? An idiot sprayed a dude because of a hedgehog. That's not exactly the sort of case that makes you the next Clarence Darrow.


yes. it's their job to care. a good defense makes them look good.


----------



## Cubanodun (May 7, 2015)

Tragi-Chan said:


> Would the defence attorney care that much? An idiot sprayed a dude because of a hedgehog. That's not exactly the sort of case that makes you the next Clarence Darrow.



Here between lawyers there is a motto "tell me the truth, i will lie for you"


----------



## Cheeseburger Picnic (May 7, 2015)

Atlas 95 said:


> Don't they have video from the shop's cameras?
> And didn't a whole bunch of weens send the video to literally every authority in Virginia with a e-mail address?



Everybody always talks about the endless horde of weens making JULAY calls at every opportunity but I've seen no evidence that this is even a thing anymore.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 7, 2015)

I can't believe the judge went for this.  With the fourth continuance, Chris gets to go back to GameStop.  That doesn't seem fair.


----------



## CharlesBarkley (May 7, 2015)

Remind me if I ever do crime just do it in VA. Apparently you can do whatever for years because the courts all tied up.


----------



## Picklechu (May 7, 2015)

Sarcastic Username said:


> Google is never late.


Unless you hurt someone's fee-fees. 



gamer2014 said:


> His next hearing is on 11th June at 9:30am according to the website


Pretty much what I expected, although I can't say that I didn't hope for the plea to be entered. 



SOINCHU said:


> I'm starting to think it isn't worth the time to show up to these appearances.  With only a public defender on the case I have a feeling it'll be sometime in the late fall or even early 2016 before anything goes down.


Eh, the time no one does will be when the verdict comes down or he chimps out or something. Besides, we get to hear about his awful fashion sense and maybe get a few pictures or videos of him in the wild.


----------



## Bronchitis that Lingers (May 7, 2015)

Picklechu said:


> Eh, the time no one does will be when the verdict comes down or he chimps out or something. Besides, we get to hear about his awful fashion sense and maybe get a few pictures or videos of him in the wild.


I can't lie, I was hoping for a continuance. Higher chance of Chris sightings, and a tomgirl fashion show with Kiwis reporting to us live on what Chris is wearing that day. It's like a red carpet premiere, only more autistic.


----------



## Butta Face Lopez (May 7, 2015)

CharlesBarkley said:


> Remind me if I ever do crime just do it in VA. Apparently you can do whatever for years because the courts all tied up.


Heh, reminds me of a newspaper man's quote after Jack McCall was acquitted after killing Wild Bill Hickok:

"Should it ever be our misfortune to kill a man...we would simply ask that our trial may take place in some of the mining camps of these hills."


----------



## Captain Homicide (May 7, 2015)

Bronchitis that Lingers said:


> I can't lie, I was hoping for a continuance. Higher chance of Chris sightings, and a tomgirl fashion show with Kiwis reporting to us live on what Chris is wearing that day. It's like a red carpet premiere, only more autistic.



Shame Joan Rivers is no longer with us, eh?


----------



## Tragi-Chan (May 7, 2015)

On the plus side, the fact that he has yet to be sentenced may mean that Chris behaves himself until it's all over.

Or he may think he's immune to punishment forever. It's kind of a roulette wheel with that guy.


----------



## heyyyJackiePie (May 7, 2015)

@lipitor will be submitting the full report of today's events later today. That's all for now.


----------



## Gothicserpent (May 7, 2015)

This is getting boring at this point.


----------



## Trilby (May 7, 2015)

Null said:


> Reminder: Defense attorneys will try and continue a trial for a year or more to make eye witness testimony less reliable.


Our court system ladies and gentlemen!



Apocalypso said:


> We'll always have video evidence though.


There's that, we can prove that to our heart's content.


----------



## AnOminous (May 7, 2015)

Tubular Monkey said:


> I can't believe the judge went for this.  With the fourth continuance, Chris gets to go back to GameStop.  That doesn't seem fair.



Why wouldn't he?  The first two weren't even Chris's fault, and maybe this one isn't either.  At MOST, this is the first continuance that has anything to do with Chris.

Would you like to be sent to jail because the PD's office didn't have its shit together?  Well, Chris doesn't deserve to either.


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (May 7, 2015)

I'm sure there is a good chance someone has sent a copy of that video to the prosecution.

Don't know if it can't be entered as evidence though, since it was not submitted through the correct channels.

If a copy was sent to the investigating office of the case he could submit it to the court as evidence.


----------



## Very Honest Content (May 7, 2015)

He's getting at least one more continuance in June, so middle July is when you'll want to be there or square court watchers.  Very miniscule chance the next hearing date results in the plea signed into the record and again, depending on the circumstances surrounding this particular continuance today it might not tally against his on request continuances similarly to how the last one likely might not have tallied on the count either I'm betting.  It would be really great if the field agents are a little more up to speed on the goings on this time due to more repetitions with the morality play on display in the court so that important details about just who is asking for these and on what grounds they're requesting and being granted on can be relayed this time.

The hilariously ugly outfits that will be captured in digital zoom and released shortly are just the warm up act in this whole thing anyway for my money, so lets get to them.


----------



## GS 281 (May 7, 2015)

Ba


Sweet and Savoury said:


> I'm sure there is a good chance someone has sent a copy of that video to the prosecution.
> 
> Don't know if it can't be entered as evidence though, since it was not submitted through the correct channels.
> 
> If a copy was sent to the investigating office of the case he could submit it to the court as evidence.


I am sure that isn't the only video of the incident. It was in a store at the mall. I would gamble that there was surveillance cameras there.


----------



## Wizzrobe (May 7, 2015)

*stress sigh* Fucking hell! Give Chris community service already at the very least!

On the brighter side, we will get to see a few more Sonichu for SSB4 DLC posts on his Facebook. *shrugs*


----------



## tomgirl4life (May 7, 2015)

Sweet and Savoury said:


> I'm sure there is a good chance someone has sent a copy of that video to the prosecution.
> 
> Don't know if it can't be entered as evidence though, since it was not submitted through the correct channels.
> 
> If a copy was sent to the investigating office of the case he could submit it to the court as evidence.



They could also potentially subpoena the "videographer" as an eyewitness and may already have done so.  Although I can attest that defense attorneys will drag a case out as long as they can; there was an attempted shooting in the parking lot at my workplace and it was a full year before it came to trial because the PD was manipulating plea deals; they would claim to want a plea deal, so the ADA would try to work with them.  Then they would refuse it, the date would be rescheduled.  Then they would request another plea deal, but when the court date came they would refuse it again and the case continued.  The prosecution ended up eventually dropping the charges because, while myself and several others saw the incident and could identify the car, which was registered to the shooter, the only person who could positively identify her was the victim, who  recanted his statement and conveniently married her 2 weeks before the trial was finally supposed to begin so he couldn't be called to testify.

When the ADA told me they were dropping the charges she told me that it was just a matter of time before they had issues again and that "hopefully next time she won't miss."


----------



## Catastrophic (May 7, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> *stress sigh* Fucking hell! Give Chris community service already at the very least!
> 
> On the brighter side, we will get to see a few more Sonichu for SSB4 DLC posts on his Facebook. *shrugs*



That's the bright side? The bright side can lick my ball sack. Wake me up when June gets here.


----------



## Optimus Prime (May 7, 2015)

At this point I'm wondering if Chris was already secretly sentenced to suffer monthly annoyances by way of court dates in late morning times, only for it to result in a continuance and effectively be nothing but a waste of _his_ time, as everybody else has to be there - it's their _job_ after all.

Or maybe they really just don't want to deal with his shit because against all odds, they _remember_ the last time he was an upstart pain in the ass during court and called the defendant a whole bunch of nasty things, and they just don't want to have to deal with it but the law only makes them able to delay the inevitable?


----------



## AnOminous (May 7, 2015)

Optimus Prime said:


> Or maybe they really just don't want to deal with his shit because against all odds, they _remember_ the last time he was an upstart pain in the ass during court and called the defendant a whole bunch of nasty things, and they just don't want to have to deal with it but the law only makes them able to delay the inevitable?



Most likely it's just routine court bullshit.


----------



## Lipitor (May 7, 2015)

So heres what I got from my field agent.
- yes those pics are real, he wore that to court.  Looks like he has a ritual of going to that McD's before all his court dates.
- they actually did some real lawyer-y stuff today, but nothing was resolved. Took forever.
- he's nervous and taking this seriously
-some other stuff I can't say right now. I'll let you know eventually, just trust me here.
-parked in the handicap spot next to the judge's spot.... he was little over the line and kinda encroaching on the judge's side, but mostly got it right this time.

I'm done. That was my last op. Here for advice tho.


----------



## Danzou (May 7, 2015)

This is pretty standard court procedure, no squirrely PD tactics or autistic obstinancy needed to explain it. Nothing really out of the ordinary going on here.


----------



## marganagram (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> So heres what I got from my field agent.
> - yes those pics are real, he wore that to court.  Looks like he has a ritual of going to that McD's before all his court dates.
> - they actually did some real lawyer-y stuff today, but nothing was resolved. Took forever.
> - he's nervous and taking this seriously
> ...



Pics? There's pics? Where are the pics Please?


----------



## Ravenor (May 7, 2015)

marganagram said:


> Pics? There's pics? Where are the pics Please?



Check the Random Thoughts an Questions thread.


----------



## Konstantinos (May 7, 2015)

So another continuance, huh? That doesn't bode well for the future. I can't help but get the feeling this is all going to end with Chris being acquitted or getting slapped on the wrist.

Which would be bad for Chris because he'd probably get himself in even worse trouble with the law at some point.


----------



## marganagram (May 7, 2015)

Ravenor said:


> Check the Random Thoughts an Questions thread.


Found them! Thank you so much!


----------



## drtoboggan (May 7, 2015)

2ManyCr00ks said:


> Relevant question: has Internet exposure actually affected Chris in a way that's not psychological?  Did it actually got him banned from Church, or was it his own autistic actions there that did it?
> I'm not sure if employers actually "Google someone" as opposed to check credit score and criminal records.  I'm thinking that ED/CWCki hasn't affected him in any *real* manner.


A cursory search on someone is actually pretty common before an interview. My former boss considered it research. 
Thing is, the internet isn't a factor here. The judge and DA might get some email about it that's easy to ignore, but the footage is really all they need.


----------



## Francis York Morgan (May 7, 2015)

Ravenor said:


> Check the Random Thoughts an Questions thread.



Someone may want to post them here too unless @lipitor has some he'd like to share with us.  Lots of stuff kind of just gets lost in Random Thoughts.


----------



## Ferls (May 7, 2015)

Francis York Morgan said:


> Someone may want to post them here too unless @lipitor has some he'd like to share with us.  Lots of stuff kind of just gets lost in Random Thoughts.



Here's the post, for posterity.


Gorogoroth said:


> View attachment 25947 View attachment 25948 View attachment 25949
> Someone posted these on 4chan, I don't know if they're already on the forums.


----------



## NiggoFiggo (May 7, 2015)

Ferls said:


> Here's the post, for posterity.


What kills me chris can research the most mundane shit like monkeys rubbing clits and runs with the info but he cant google current women fashion.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 7, 2015)

NiggoFiggo said:


> mundane shit





NiggoFiggo said:


> monkeys rubbing clits



This is a liberal use of _mundane_.


----------



## Professor Iris (May 7, 2015)

ANOTHER CONTINUANCE?!

THE COURT IN ALBERMARLE: CONFIRMED AUTISTIC.


----------



## soIregistered (May 7, 2015)

Ferls said:


> Here's the post, for posterity.



Chris has gotten away from Tomgirl and gone full Tomgrandma.


----------



## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (May 7, 2015)

Ferls said:


> Here's the post, for posterity.



Brother, he looks so damn stylin' and profilin'


----------



## Cotton Puddings (May 7, 2015)

Ferls said:


> Here's the post, for posterity.


dudebro resembles an ancient church biddy who wears fancy hats to easter service


----------



## Smurfchu (May 7, 2015)

Very Honest Content said:


> He's getting at least one more continuance in June, so middle July is when you'll want to be there or square court watchers.



JULYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!


----------



## RyanTheFurryFuck (May 7, 2015)

You have got to be kidding me. What is giving him another continuance going to achieve? The court here is fucking shit.


----------



## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 7, 2015)

I hope people here don't flip their shit as much when it's Sick Nick's turn in court.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 7, 2015)

I'm sure this has been pointed out, but if he'd just taken his medicine right away, his punishment would have been up weeks or months ago.  But that would involve advanced planning, forward thinking, and fewer immediate Legos, so screw that.



Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> I hope people here don't flip their shit as much when it's Sick Nick's turn in court.



You mean because that would turn him on?


----------



## GS 281 (May 7, 2015)

Hulk Hogan said:


> Brother, he looks so damn stylin' and profilin'


WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


----------



## EI 903 (May 7, 2015)

If they were doing actual lawyering at this one, hopefully that means things get worked out next month. Not that more Chris outfit pics aren't a good thing.


----------



## blackie toy (May 7, 2015)

As has been said before, the continuance is no surprise. The first few continuances are granted as a matter of course in most criminal proceedings. There's really no point in the prosecution rushing to throw the book at Chris. This is not a high-profile crime at all, and it's unlikely that he'll serve any jail time anyway.

Now that Chris has had three continuances (two since having received counsel), we're getting to the point where it's likely that the defense attorney will need to give a reason for requesting more continuances. Even so, I see no reason why more would not be granted. Chris, I'm sure we can all agree, would be an exceptionally difficult client, regardless of how simple the case may be. Public Defenders are overworked and underpaid in the first place. Just interviewing him in order to prepare a defense is going to take _hours_, wherein the PD is going to have to continually ask him to stick to particular issues... but do in a manner that's not going to piss him off and cause him to stop talking entirely (thereby defeating the purpose of him getting counsel at all). It can definitely be a touchy issue.

Seriously, this does not reflect poorly on the Albermarle County Courts, the prosecutor's office, or the PD office. It's not even necessarily a matter of Chris being a difficult client (though it probably is, at least in part): It really can take time to bring a case if the criminal docket is overloaded in the first place.


----------



## 2ManyCr00ks (May 7, 2015)

Wizzrobe said:


> *stress sigh* Fucking hell! Give Chris community service already at the very least!


What if we're proactive?  What are our chances of enticing him into getting in some lulzy caper?


----------



## Tubular Monkey (May 7, 2015)

2ManyCr00ks said:


> What if we're proactive?  What are our chances of enticing him into getting in some lulzy caper?



You bring the blue paint, I'll bring the Krazy Glue.


----------



## strayfies (May 7, 2015)

I kind of wish he wouldn't _frolic_ through this particular call to responsibility, but maybe that's because it's still a current thing.  I feel like his other vehement tumbles with authority have proven much more of an obstacle, and ironically this one is a _criminal _charge.  (I know Snyder had filed suit for damages, but civil court is different.)


----------



## BillRiley (May 7, 2015)

Smurfchu said:


> JULYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!



I sure hope they don't have to impanel a


Spoiler: ???



JUUUUURRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

Ferls said:


> Here's the post, for posterity.



My God, somebody shout Norman Bates.



Spoiler











That Sonichu license plate could well be used for the cover of Chris' next music album.


----------



## AlephOne2Many (May 7, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> I hope people here don't flip their shit as much when it's Sick Nick's turn in court.



Your hope's already gone down the shitter. Or squished between his brown and green biters.


----------



## Marvin (May 7, 2015)

strayfies said:


> I kind of wish he wouldn't _frolic_ through this particular call to responsibility, but maybe that's because it's still a current thing.  I feel like his other vehement tumbles with authority have proven much more of an obstacle, and ironically this one is a _criminal _charge.  (I know Snyder had filed suit for damages, but civil court is different.)


Snyder had criminal charges too.

Edit: Er, I meant to say that Chris had criminal charges in the Snyder case too.


----------



## SonChu's Oil Change (May 7, 2015)

Morning line odds for next appearance (6/11/15):

1. Continuance 2/7
2. Not guilty plea 8/1
3. Guilty plea 45/1
4. No contest plea 28/1
5. Field 10/1


----------



## timtommy (May 7, 2015)

I am so confused about why everyone is worked up. A guy committed a low level crime. Noone was hurt, but he did clearly break the law. So he was arrested. He was put in jail for a weekend and charged with the crime. 

Now the case is working its way through the legal system. It's not a priority case, the defendant has posted bail and attended all hearing, so there is no particular rush to the case. Eventually it will be. Chris will no doubt be found guilty and receive some minor punishment for his minor crime. Everything is going exactly the way it was inevitably going to. 

Chris has not "gotten away" with anything just because he got a continuance. 
Noone has been denied justice. 
In fact, you will never be denied justice, unless you are the employee at the GameStop. Chris' crime had nothing to do with you.
People don't get thrown in prison for lengthy periods of just because they are obnoxious idiots. If their obnoxious idiocy leads them to commit a low-level crime, they receive a sentence commensurate with that low level crime. As Chris will eventually.


----------



## The Joker (May 7, 2015)

His fashion is getting even worse. My eighty year old grandmother dresses better than him.
He does watch a lot of sitcoms, maybe when he watches crap from the eighties, he thinks that he would look good if he dressed like them.


----------



## DJAndyMD (May 7, 2015)

timtommy said:


> I am so confused about why everyone is worked up. A guy committed a low level crime. Noone was hurt, but he did clearly break the law. So he was arrested. He was put in jail for a weekend and charged with the crime.
> 
> Now the case is working its way through the legal system. It's not a priority case, the defendant has posted bail and attended all hearing, so there is no particular rush to the case. Eventually it will be. Chris will no doubt be found guilty and receive some minor punishment for his minor crime. Everything is going exactly the way it was inevitably going to.
> 
> ...


My theory is that the frustration is not coming from the fact that Chris was not thrown the book, but over how long something like this can be stalled when its clear that this matter should have been solved a long time ago. If its something minor, it should have been dealt with by now. This means that there is something else going on that maybe we are not aware of. The video evidence should have been enough to put this to rest but it now makes me wonder if the constant continuances is to try to find some eency weensy attempt to justify or even paint light on the damning piece of evidence. In other words, Chris is being difficult and trying to find ways to make him look like an innocent victim and trying to stall it out as possible, even though it most likely won't go his way.


----------



## Apocalypso (May 7, 2015)

lipitor said:


> So heres what I got from my field agent.
> - yes those pics are real, he wore that to court.  Looks like he has a ritual of going to that McD's before all his court dates.
> - they actually did some real lawyer-y stuff today, but nothing was resolved. Took forever.
> - he's nervous and taking this seriously
> ...



Did you count how many times he sighed?


----------



## Lipitor (May 8, 2015)

DJAndyMD said:


> My theory is that the frustration is not coming from the fact that Chris was not thrown the book, but over how long something like this can be stalled when its clear that this matter should have been solved a long time ago. If its something minor, it should have been dealt with by now. This means that there is something else going on that maybe we are not aware of. The video evidence should have been enough to put this to rest but it now makes me wonder if the constant continuances is to try to find some eency weensy attempt to justify or even paint light on the damning piece of evidence. In other words, Chris is being difficult and trying to find ways to make him look like an innocent victim and trying to stall it out as possible, even though it most likely won't go his way.



They're stalling for a good reason. They're working on ways Christian can improve himself.


----------



## Francis York Morgan (May 8, 2015)

lipitor said:


> They're stalling for a good reason. They're working on ways Christian can improve himself.



So, they are just going to keep requesting continuances forever?


----------



## Lipitor (May 8, 2015)

Francis York Morgan said:


> So, they are just going to keep requesting continuances forever?


Until they get the plea they want.


----------



## timtommy (May 8, 2015)

DJAndyMD said:


> My theory is that the frustration is not coming from the fact that Chris was not thrown the book, but over how long something like this can be stalled when its clear that this matter should have been solved a long time ago. If its something minor, it should have been dealt with by now. This means that there is something else going on that maybe we are not aware of. The video evidence should have been enough to put this to rest but it now makes me wonder if the constant continuances is to try to find some eency weensy attempt to justify or even paint light on the damning piece of evidence. In other words, Chris is being difficult and trying to find ways to make him look like an innocent victim and trying to stall it out as possible, even though it most likely won't go his way.


I don't know. Legal things take some time. I don't think there is anything behind it.

Nor do I think, if there were anything behind it, that it would be nefarious. Both Chris and his attorney have the right to try to get as a light a sentence as possible. It isn't weaselly for Chris to try to reduce his sentence or paintk himself in the least negative light possible. He might have an obligation to stand up and admit what he did when the time comes, but he doesn't have an obligation to try to seek out a punishment that would satisfy the forum members.  If this is calculated to minimize his sentence, then he is doing the smart thing.


----------



## TaterBot (May 8, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Until they get the plea they want.


Any indication of what they're pushing for?


----------



## Optimus Prime (May 8, 2015)

timtommy said:


> a punishment that would satisfy the forum members.



Chris getting punished _at all_ is better than nothing - seriously, the guy has managed to get away with the _dumbest_ shit because he's so exceptionally individual, and given how the thing that actually would give him the structure he needs - rigidity of laws - is the one thing he absolutely fucking hates because he is a _child_.

Hell, at this point a fine or community service is all we ask.


----------



## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

I kind of get tired of pointing this out, but there's nothing remotely unusual about any of this.  And it isn't Chris's fault anyway.

Let's take these in order.



> 12/29/2014 09:00 AM Continued



This was when Chris was let out of jail.  It was in between Christmas and New Year's and basically just amounted to letting Chris out on bail.  This was basically a video arraignment just to get probably a bunch of people out of jail at the same time.

Absolutely nobody in court wants to do anything between Christmas and New Year's if they can avoid it.

Not Chris's fault (other than his bad taste in getting arrested right after Christmas like a genius).



> 02/05/2015 09:30 AM Continued



Apparently, the lawyer sent by the PD's office was actually unable to represent Chris.  Again, not Chris's fault, although still unclear as to what exactly happened.



> 04/02/2015 09:30 AM Continued



This was reported as Chris basically walking in and almost immediately turning around and leaving.  We don't even know that he consulted with his lawyer at that point.  It would have been the first time he met counsel, though if he had.



> 05/07/2015 10:30 AM Continued



This is the third "real" continuance, and the only one that might even remotely be Chris's fault.  It's also only a bit over five months since the case even started.  Some cases go years without going past the preliminary stages.

For instance, to compare this with another case, I wouldn't be surprised at all to see Nick Bate's case get a bunch of continuances.  In Chris's case, there's no real rush because it's not a big deal crime and nothing awful is going to happen as a result of Chris walking around free another few months since he isn't likely to get a big sentence anyway.  In Nick's case, it is a big deal crime, but Nick's behind bars for the duration, so again, no huge rush.  Nick isn't going anywhere.

It would only be unusual if there were, say, three or four more continuances for no real reason, or the case got put off for well over a year.

In any event, the only continuance that remotely "counts against" Chris is the latest one.  It just wasn't his fault that the PD's office somehow dropped the ball the first time around, and possibly the second as well.


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## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 8, 2015)

DJAndyMD said:


> My theory is that the frustration is not coming from the fact that Chris was not thrown the book, but over how long something like this can be stalled when its clear that this matter should have been solved a long time ago. If its something minor, it should have been dealt with by now. This means that there is something else going on that maybe we are not aware of. The video evidence should have been enough to put this to rest but it now makes me wonder if the constant continuances is to try to find some eency weensy attempt to justify or even paint light on the damning piece of evidence. In other words, Chris is being difficult and trying to find ways to make him look like an innocent victim and trying to stall it out as possible, even though it most likely won't go his way.




If that sort of Defense sticks, it will be even more asinine than the "Twinkie Defense". Chris is Guilty as sin. There's even video showing him in the act. No bullshit of "I was mad at the blue arms" or "I thought that MALE was going to rape me" is going to flush in any courtroom. He was trespassing. He discharged pepper spray in a public place. Case (should be) Closed.

And I thought it was already established that Chris was going to plead Guilty. This whole matter should have been open-n-shut by now.

On the first hearing, the PD made some mention to the judge about Chris' appearance. Makes me wonder if they're working on an angle to use his male-lesbian-soul garbage into some sort of mitigating factor. These days, being an SJW seems to allow certain people to get away with a fuckton of bullshit that the average person isn't granted.


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## RyanTheFurryFuck (May 8, 2015)

Wouldn't it be awesome if Chris gets off Scott free? What if after this, he realizes he needs to get his shit together.


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## Lipitor (May 8, 2015)

RyanTheFurryFuck said:


> Wouldn't it be awesome if Chris *will* gets off Scott free? What if after this, he realizes *Once* he needs to get*s* his shit together.


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## TaterBot (May 8, 2015)

lipitor said:


> ...if he gets his shit together...


Any word on what that might entail?
Probably wouldn't help anyway. Nick had his shit well in hand, and it didn't help him.


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## Apocalypso (May 8, 2015)

RyanTheFurryFuck said:


> Wouldn't it be awesome if Chris gets off Scott free? What if after this, he realizes he needs to get his shit together.



Chris needs to be sugar free.


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## Holdek (May 8, 2015)

lipitor said:


> So heres what I got from my field agent.
> - yes those pics are real, he wore that to court.


Did your field agent take those pics or were there different reporters on the scene not even aware of each other?



lipitor said:


> They're stalling for a good reason. They're working on ways Christian can improve himself.


Like when Rob Bell last time said Chris would be working on becoming a contributing member of society?  :optimistic:



AnOminous said:


> For instance, to compare this with another case, I wouldn't be surprised at all to see Nick Bate's case get a bunch of continuances.  In Chris's case, there's no real rush because it's not a big deal crime and nothing awful is going to happen as a result of Chris walking around free another few months since he isn't likely to get a big sentence anyway.  In Nick's case, it is a big deal crime, but Nick's behind bars for the duration, so again, no huge rush.  Nick isn't going anywhere.


Plus if Chris tards out again he could just get his bail revoked.



Spoiler: OT



So Nick can't go to a bondsman?


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## blackie toy (May 8, 2015)

SonChu's Oil Change said:


> Morning line odds for next appearance (6/11/15):
> 
> 1. Continuance 2/7
> 2. Not guilty plea 8/1
> ...


Can I get odds on a dismissal, odds on a dismissal with an apology from the court, and odds on a dismissal followed by a _sua sponte_ order commanding Sega to recall all Sonic X games and merchandise and replace them with tan armed versions?


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## Chris-Chan Cure (May 8, 2015)

blackie toy said:


> Can I get odds on a dismissal, odds on a dismissal with an apology from the court, and odds on a dismissal followed by a _sua sponte_ order commanding Sega to recall all *Sonic X* games and merchandise and replace them with tan armed versions?


Sure, zero chance of this happening.


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## Long Sun (May 8, 2015)

Another good reason to put things off is the PD maybe trying to get Chris to do things to help on sentencing (like take anger management, get a job or into an educational program) so that a better argument can be for Chris to be sentence in the community


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## General Juicer (May 8, 2015)

Part of me kind of wants Chris to skate off completely scot-free with no further consequences other than the wasted hours if only to witness the unprecedented butthurt and lulz of people flipping out over Doofus not getting his just deserts. Sort of like how the denialism of Chris losing his virginity was funnier than the status quo of Chris being a perma-virgin.


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## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

General Juicer said:


> Part of me kind of wants Chris to skate off completely scot-free with no further consequences other than the wasted hours if only to witness the unprecedented butthurt and lulz of people flipping out over Doofus not getting his just deserts. Sort of like how the denialism of Chris losing his virginity was funnier than the status quo of Chris being a perma-virgin.



Imagine two years straight of continuances every couple months, and finally there's a hearing and the DA says you know what, fuck this, we're dismissing it.


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## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 8, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> Imagine two years straight of continuances every couple months, and finally there's a hearing and the DA says you know what, fuck this, we're dismissing it.



Or Chris finally snaps under the stress and flips out at the first person to trigger him simply by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Any pretense of trying to get Chris to clean up his act in order to get a lighter sentence from the Gamestop incident would certainly have gone out the window.

What worries me is that all of these court appearances may desensitize Chris and harden him. A good fear of the courts may have kept Chris from committing crimes in the past, but if he starts to get used to showing up in court frequently, and combined with his utter absence of morals, he may feel that the court system isn't as big a deal to worry about and think that he's invincible.


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## Trilby (May 8, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> What worries me is that all of these court appearances may desensitize Chris and harden him. A good fear of the courts may have kept Chris from committing crimes in the past, but if he starts to get used to showing up in court frequently, and combined with his utter absence of morals, he may feel that the court system isn't as big a deal to worry about and think that he's invincible.


That's my thought about all this too.


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## Gensdupays (May 8, 2015)

Chris apparently was taking it seriously all these times. I'm sure someone else can chime in here but my interpretation is that he sees himself as completely justified in what he did, but that it was only okay because of the circumstance. He realizes macing random people is bad unless there's a reason, he just has very subjective reasons.


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## Fettucine_Neapoli. (May 8, 2015)

If this ends with Chris not serving any jail time or any sort of punishment, this would likely affect his views on the justice system.


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## Very Honest Content (May 8, 2015)

Pretty sure Rob Bell absconding with Bob's inheritance and ending up being a major wuss already affected the simpleton views on display in his comics about legal proceedings being remakes of 80's cartoon scenes.  He had the parade of continuances for that case so this isn't new or out of the ordinary for him IRL in any way.  Unless he upgraded from noxious gas to his dad's old pistol from behind the autism papers in the filling cabinet properly cleaned and serviced without anybody finding out about it he isn't going to graduate from retail store nuisance to full blown autistic murder machine.

That fucking outfit though . . .


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## General Juicer (May 8, 2015)

Fettucine_Neapoli said:
			
		

> If this ends with Chris not serving any jail time or any sort of punishment, this would likely affect his views on the justice system.


While the idea of Chris becoming a Marlon Brando-style rebel in the face of judicial impotence is quite amusing, Chris's cowardice and laziness will ultimately ensure that he 'behaves'. I'm not discounting the possibility of future tantrums and spasms that could lead to him getting jail time, because it's fucking Chris, but what happens to him as a result of this trial will ultimately be a non-factor. The most that will happen from non-punishment is that he gets a better feel for the limits of his hooliganism -- but as we can see from his numerous bans yet lack of fines/jail, Chris already intuitively knows what he can get away with.


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## Stud2Stud (May 8, 2015)

These court dates are like a Damocles Sword above Chris' head and he's probably aware of this.
So he can avoid the mean adult world where acts of idiocy have consequences - for the time being - but he's also forced to keep his act together.
So, technically, this isn't all that bad. Chris can't lash out, should try to avoid trouble at all cost and justice hopefully will be served in the end (I'm still torn up over the most desirable outcome: Jail-time vs. a different punishment. As long as it's not a slap on the wrist I'm fine, though).
The only problem is the long time we have to wait for the outcome, most people just want to see this concluded quickly, but much like Chris' attire, this is a drag.


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## DykesDykesChina (May 8, 2015)

CatParty said:


>


Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release



Spoiler


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## timtommy (May 8, 2015)

General Juicer said:


> Part of me kind of wants Chris to skate off completely scot-free with no further consequences other than the wasted hours if only to witness the unprecedented butthurt and lulz of people flipping out over Doofus not getting his just deserts. Sort of like how the denialism of Chris losing his virginity was funnier than the status quo of Chris being a perma-virgin.


Don't worry. No matter what punishment he gets, it will be insufficient to avoid butthurtness. I think the technical max sentence he faces is 5 years (not that I think he is getting close to that). That would still lead to outrage.


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## KnownPanda (May 8, 2015)

Long time lurker, first time poster. I've been wondering, _*how many *_continuances is Chris going to have? Just enough to torture the ones to see what will be the end result (most likely probably community service, a fine or probation from what I gather) of his actions?


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## SOINCHU (May 8, 2015)

You know what would be absolutely fabulous? If Chris spent 30 to 60 days in Jail and has some kinda nutty autism filled bizarre religious conversion.

I know it sounds far fetched but really think about the way he takes everything that happens to him as some kind of unbelievable Herculean burden. I can see him going completely bonkers after 2 months in jail and becoming some kind of fundamentalist believer in GODJESUS. And as many religious nutbags are want to do, I'm sure he'd feel the need to post crazy messages all over Facebook and maybe even....*gasp* YOUTUBE


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## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

KnownPanda said:


> Long time lurker, first time poster. I've been wondering, _*how many *_continuances is Chris going to have? Just enough to torture the ones to see what will be the end result (most likely probably community service, a fine or probation from what I gather) of his actions?



As many as it takes.  Remember, all of these have been these Thursday at 9:30/10:30 a.m. hearings with a zillion other defendants.  Everyone there is going to be there whether or not there is a Chris hearing, so it's not like it costs anything to put them off.  It's only when you have your own personal trial where a bunch of people show up just for you that putting it off again is a big deal.


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## CornetteFace (May 8, 2015)

If Chris becomes Barb.....who will bring Chris Q-sands?


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## Ron_Swanson (May 8, 2015)

DykesDykesChina said:


> Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release



hehehe everyone's wearing those candy wax big  lips


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## Apocalypso (May 8, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> If Chris becomes Barb.....who will bring Chris Q-sands?



Lazy bugger will have to buy them himself.


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## Yawning Asperchu (May 8, 2015)

DykesDykesChina said:


> Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler



I can't tell if that's supposed to be an open mouth or if Chris drew himself with some nice DSL.


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## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> If Chris becomes Barb.....who will bring Chris Q-sands?



He will say "I am become Barb, consumer of q-sands."

And Kengle will bring them.


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## Tragi-Chan (May 8, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> On the first hearing, the PD made some mention to the judge about Chris' appearance. Makes me wonder if they're working on an angle to use his male-lesbian-soul garbage into some sort of mitigating factor. These days, being an SJW seems to allow certain people to get away with a fuckton of bullshit that the average person isn't granted.


I can't imagine that working in court, though. In my experience, judges tend to be pretty dismissive of whiny BS. My guess is that the angle they're going for would be, "Come on, look at him, he's obviously a fucking nutjob. How about you go easy on him?"



General Juicer said:


> While the idea of Chris becoming a Marlon Brando-style rebel in the face of judicial impotence is quite amusing, Chris's cowardice and laziness will ultimately ensure that he 'behaves'. I'm not discounting the possibility of future tantrums and spasms that could lead to him getting jail time, because it's fucking Chris, but what happens to him as a result of this trial will ultimately be a non-factor. The most that will happen from non-punishment is that he gets a better feel for the limits of his hooliganism -- but as we can see from his numerous bans yet lack of fines/jail, Chris already intuitively knows what he can get away with.



Chris doesn't base his opinion of authority on respect, but on fear. This is why he'll chimp out in a Gamestop but not in court - he knows there's not much the Gamestop staff can do to him (as long as they DON'T CALL ANYBODY), but a judge can really fuck things up.


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## KnownPanda (May 8, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> As many as it takes.  Remember, all of these have been these Thursday at 9:30/10:30 a.m. hearings with a zillion other defendants.  Everyone there is going to be there whether or not there is a Chris hearing, so it's not like it costs anything to put them off.  It's only when you have your own personal trial where a bunch of people show up just for you that putting it off again is a big deal.


Lovely. I won't be surprised if the next one is a continuance. But the optimistic side of me just says that maybe, just maybe, Chrissy will get something other than a continuance. At this point, in my honest opinion, would be better than just 'another continuance.' The 'Merican justice system away.


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## CornetteFace (May 8, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> He will say "I am become Barb, consumer of q-sands."
> 
> And Kengle will bring them.


So Kengle becomes Chris....

The circle of sperg


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## Katolate (May 8, 2015)

Tragi-Chan said:


> I can't imagine that working in court, though. In my experience, judges tend to be pretty dismissive of whiny BS. My guess is that the angle they're going for would be, "Come on, look at him, he's obviously a fucking nutjob. How about you go easy on him?"


I don't think that a defense saying "Hey, this guy is clearly a nutjob so let's let him go to fuck things up." is a very good idea to begin.

The more they try to claim Chris isn't responsible for his actions because he's mentally ill, the more chances of Chris ending on an institution for mandated therapy or being sent to a group home because he clearly cannot  be trusted to behave at all.


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## sonichuis44 (May 8, 2015)

Not sure why people keep posting "DURRR MURRIKA". People are acting like the fact that he was not actively having his ass raped in prison by December 27th is a travesty of justice. Chris is getting a proper defense, justice is taking its course, none of this is unusual or troubling. Just remember: the wheels grind slowly, but very finely.


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## Ruin (May 8, 2015)

sonichuis44 said:


> Not sure why people keep posting "DURRR MURRIKA". People are acting like the fact that he was not actively having his ass raped in prison by December 27th is a travesty of justice. Chris is getting a proper defense, justice is taking its course, none of this is unusual or troubling. Just remember: the wheels grind slowly, but very finely.



I don't get it either. The court doesn't know all of the shit about Chris that we do. Assuming he doesn't accept a plea bargain, the jury is going to see a retarded man in women's clothing who takes care of his elderly mother. The best case scenario is he gets community service, personally I think he's just going to get a fine.


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## DrunkTails (May 8, 2015)

I very much doubt that Chris is getting anything big for his sentence. Most probably will be either a fine or community services. Even if the gamestop employees tried for a harder sentence, I doubt the judge will agree.

Unlike us, the judge will see a mentally unsound man that dresses in women's clothing whose crime is that he pepper-sprayed a bystander for no reason. The judge isn't going to check the Cwcki in regards to Chris's history. He most probably won't have information about the past criminal offence he committed.

So yeah, chances that Chris is going to jail? Very very slim.


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## CornetteFace (May 8, 2015)

DrunkTails said:


> He most probably won't have information about the past criminal offence he committed.


Why not? The judge is a judge. It's kind of in the job description to read up on whoever they are judging. Or at least have an intern compile a bullet point list of said persons criminal record.


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## drtoboggan (May 8, 2015)

DrunkTails said:


> I very much doubt that Chris is getting anything big for his sentence. Most probably will be either a fine or community services. Even if the gamestop employees tried for a harder sentence, I doubt the judge will agree.
> 
> Unlike us, the judge will see a mentally unsound man that dresses in women's clothing whose crime is that he pepper-sprayed a bystander for no reason. The judge isn't going to check the Cwcki in regards to Chris's history. He most probably won't have information about the past criminal offence he committed.
> 
> So yeah, chances that Chris is going to jail? Very very slim.


The prosecution will likely know about his priors, but I doubt they have much impact. October 2011 might warrant a week or so in jail, but it's unlikely. Fines, community service, and a longer period on probation are more probable.


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## KnownPanda (May 8, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Why not? The judge is a judge. It's kind of in the job description to read up on whoever they are judging. Or at least have an intern compile a bullet point list of said persons criminal record.



While this may point to jail time, it's pretty much slim that Chris goes to jail. However, I'm surprised the government hasn't declared Chris legally incompetent.  

But really, it would be beneficial for him if he were checked by a licensed shrink.


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## DrunkTails (May 8, 2015)

drtoboggan said:


> The prosecution will likely know about his priors, but I doubt they have much impact. October 2011 might warrant a week or so in jail, but it's unlikely. Fines, community service, and a longer period on probation are more probable.



Personally I'm hoping that he gets psychological help. It most probably won't help much but its better than nothing.


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## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

CornetteFace said:


> Why not? The judge is a judge. It's kind of in the job description to read up on whoever they are judging. Or at least have an intern compile a bullet point list of said persons criminal record.



Actually, no.  It would be completely improper for a judge to make a decision based on anything but evidence presented by the parties, which both parties have had the opportunity to address and rebut.  There are some exceptions for things like material subject to judicial notice (i.e. there was a full moon on the 15th of whatever or the defendant's prior judicially determined history), and policing their own orders (such as gag orders about the case), but generally, judges are going to avoid anything but the record to the greatest extent reasonable.

If they did encounter outside material, and it had any impact on their decision-making, they would be obligated to inform both sides of this so that they would have an opportunity to brief the issue or otherwise address it.

Would you want to be thrown in jail based on something the judge read on a blog?


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## Lipitor (May 8, 2015)

So yeah, just to clear some things up, I'm pretty sure both sides knows he's guilty, there isn't any doubt there. They don't need to see the video or bring it up. At this point they're just trying to figure out what to do with him. Cuz of the 'tism.


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## AnOminous (May 8, 2015)

lipitor said:


> So yeah, just to clear some things up, I'm pretty sure both sides knows he's guilty, there isn't any doubt there. They don't need to see the video or bring it up. At this point they're just trying to figure out what to do with him. Cuz of the 'tism.



There's some question as to which video, if any, is even going to be introduced into evidence.  The one on the Internet would need some authentication.  But it's quite likely there's also in-store surveillance video, and that is likely to have a much better chain of custody.  It might also be of greater quality and show what led up to the rampage we've seen online.


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## Ron_Swanson (May 8, 2015)

I thought a write up of the field agent(s) was coming? did I miss that? I only saw the pics from supposedly 4chan. Sorry if I'm being impatient.


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## Lipitor (May 8, 2015)

AnOminous said:


> There's some question as to which video, if any, is even going to be introduced into evidence.  The one on the Internet would need some authentication.  But it's quite likely there's also in-store surveillance video, and that is likely to have a much better chain of custody.  It might also be of greater quality and show what led up to the rampage we've seen online.



I think that's the thing. They don't need it, because Christian already confessed. It hasn't even come up proving he did it, just what to do about him.

You better fucking believe if they had shown the Don't Call Anybody video in court I would have written one of my huge long winded posts on just what it was like watching that video with him in the room.


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## Sweet and Savoury (May 8, 2015)

Incase any intrepid Kiwi local wants to get his/her/it's/Xe's hands on the courtroom transcripts here the process. 

http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/virginia-state-court-records

It's pretty easy and cheap. Just go to the courthouse and fill out a form plus 20 bucks. That's it.


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## DawnDusk (May 8, 2015)

The continuances never end.


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## Optimus Prime (May 8, 2015)

DawnDusk said:


> The continuances never end.



The continuance of continuance issuing continues.


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## Someone in a Tree (May 8, 2015)

We'll know if Chris is really nervous about his fate when we find out that he's hired a hooker willing to scissor with him


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## Trilby (May 8, 2015)

Ron_Swanson said:


> hehehe everyone's wearing those candy wax big  lips


If only he had a red marker several shades darker than what he used for the tongues, then we'd see that it was just their mouths being open the whole time (those eyes on Chris bug me a little with their Sailor Moon-ish stare).



AnOminous said:


> There's some question as to which video, if any, is even going to be introduced into evidence.  The one on the Internet would need some authentication.  But it's quite likely there's also in-store surveillance video, and that is likely to have a much better chain of custody.  It might also be of greater quality and show what led up to the rampage we've seen online.


That video would at least show what he was doing in the back when they came over to tell him to leave.  That's what I would be curious to see.


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## Chipmunk With A Banana (May 9, 2015)

DykesDykesChina said:


> Dangerous Gas Unlawful Release
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler




I love how Chris acts like he's assuming command of the situation. Like some fearless general charging into Danger with faithful lackeys at his side.

In Reality, Chris would toss a stuffed animal onto the bed to look like he's sleeping there and hide under a pile of toys.


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## Lipitor (May 9, 2015)

Chipmunk With A Banana said:


> I love how Chris acts like he's assuming command of the situation. Like some fearless general charging into Danger with faithful lackeys at his side.
> 
> In Reality, Chris would toss a stuffed animal onto the bed to look like he's sleeping there and hide under a pile of toys.



Christian is a little bitch who still always tries to find someone else to fight his battles for him. More than you know.


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## Apocalypso (May 9, 2015)

lipitor said:


> Christian is a little bitch who still always tries to find someone else to fight his battles for him. More than you know.



Which makes me all the more curious to know how Chris will fight them once Barb snuffs it.


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## EI 903 (May 9, 2015)

"What will happen when Barb dies?" is the official death knell of a Discussion thread.


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