# What would you do with a million dollars?



## 💗Freddie Freaker💗 (Oct 3, 2019)

Let's say your father gave you a small loan of a million dollars. 

What would you do with it?


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## Pissmaster (Oct 3, 2019)

serious answer: invest 900k into a very stable stock that pays dividends, and use the other 100k for vacation/fun/squandering money

I'd really like to open a business, too, but don't want to risk most of my giant cushion of cash against the very, very real possibility that my business might fail


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## Muttnik (Oct 3, 2019)

Probably carefully invest it so I can be a comfy shut-in piece of shit for the rest of my life.


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## Marco Fucko (Oct 3, 2019)

Use that to bankroll for blackjack, multiply it, purchase apartment buildings, hire a company to deal with it and then just buy a cheap condo and live undercover as a normal dude. If anyone asks what I do for money just tell them I'm a worthless rich kid whose daddy paid him to not embarrass the family.


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## Arctic Fox (Oct 3, 2019)

I'd purchase three acres in the wilderness, build a little place and go full hermit.


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## nagant 1895 (Oct 3, 2019)

Step 1: buy a farm
Step 2: farm
Step 3: laugh


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## Takodachi (Oct 3, 2019)

buy a huge chunk of land and turn it into a sanctuary for stray dogs. Nothing breaks my heart more than when a stray pup begs me for food... the only thing keeping me from getting a 5th, 6th, or even 7th dog is my lack of space.


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## Yellow Yam Scam (Oct 3, 2019)

Fund the Bajoran insurgency in order to commit terrorist attacks on various Federation assets in pursuit of a United Bajor.


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## Gravityqueen4life (Oct 3, 2019)

buy a place somewhere nice and be a neet. would have to bail from my country since they hate the rich and would try steal my money. would donate to our great feeder to keep the site running.


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## RetardedCat (Oct 3, 2019)

>buy house in the middle of nowhere in some eastern europe country
>enjoy browsing the internet while being left alone for the rest of my life


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## Recoil (Oct 3, 2019)

@Fangsofjeff confirmed for 1%er corporate scion


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## YourMommasBackstory (Oct 3, 2019)

i could say something clever like investment or business, but i know i'm terrible with money,
So i most likely spend it on some stupid shit in a few years and live as a bum till the end of my life.


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## Literally Hotler (Oct 3, 2019)

Build a scaled down WTC and reenact 9/11. If it doesn't fully collapse in the same way then some people have some explaining to do.


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## oww (Oct 3, 2019)

a map of the holy land and a satellite loaded with tungsten pillars


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## Franjevina (Oct 3, 2019)

Spend 300 000 on hookers and cocaine

Send 100 000 to Null

Use 600 000 to try and break Timothy McVeigh record in amateur demolition championship .


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## SiccDicc (Oct 3, 2019)

Probably try to explain to the IRS why I suddenly have a million dollars and then watch them do a magic trick to make it disappear.


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## The Sauce Boss (Oct 3, 2019)

Buy a couple of small things I want for myself, then give the rest to the needy.

I know I sound like a virtue-signalling dick, but I've come to believe that the love of money is the root of all evil, and I'm content with having enough to be comfortable.

I'm sleepy as shit, so EDIT: I'd pay for my college before giving the rest away.


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## Golly (Oct 3, 2019)

Travel a little to celebrate, tie up them shitty student loans, a few classes in various topics that interest me, a decent home recording studio. The rest goes into the bank in various ways so I can chill with the interest until I'm confident in business practices enough to consider an investment/starting up something. General goal is not rustling the capital up too much though. $1 million is really nice to have, but it's also not nearly as much as it used to be.


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## rooblue (Oct 3, 2019)

nagant 1895 said:


> Step 1: buy a farm
> Step 2: farm
> Step 3: laugh



Same. Land, profitable livestock, computer/s and the rest in my savings. Will still work, will still shitpost. Simple life.


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## Overcast (Oct 3, 2019)

Use what I need to live out my life, invest some of it in stocks, and save the rest of it either for a rainy day or to pass down when I die.


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## The Cunting Death (Oct 3, 2019)

Two chicks at the same time.


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## Autisimodo (Oct 3, 2019)

Buy a couple of flats and rent them out so I can have an income that doesn't involve a 9-5 job.

Invest some in stocks and keep the rest as savings.


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## Omnium Ultimatus (Oct 3, 2019)

First, I'd buy citizenship from St, Kitts and Nevis, renounce my US citizenship and then invest the remainder into blue chip dividend stocks and live out the rest of my life browsing the internet in some tropical country where my purchasing power would triple.


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## Rice Is Ready (Oct 3, 2019)

Make a horror movie.


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## Clop (Oct 3, 2019)

Deduct taxes, pay off my student loan (it's only like 15k) and mark the rest off as a donation to some charity for the homeless. I hate having large amounts of money.


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## Dom Cruise (Oct 3, 2019)

One thing I've always wanted is a fancy home theater.


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## Buster O'Keefe (Oct 3, 2019)

>buy Ferrari 246 GTS Dino
>drive it


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## skiddlez (Oct 3, 2019)

buy KF and now you all have to put up with my shit


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## edboy (Oct 3, 2019)

Sit at home and smoke crack for the rest of my life.

In all seriousness, I'd buy my childhood house from my parents and live there. Track down old friends, possibly as well.


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## MechanicusAdmin (Oct 3, 2019)

Invest enough for a comfortable yearly income. With the rest buy a reasonably sized house for a reasonable sum, Fort knox it inside and out. Turn it into a cat rescue resort. A couple of live in student vets (free accomodation etc)  and a foster program for rehoming. Be the cat king I was born to always be.


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## Oskar Dirlewanger (Oct 3, 2019)

Diversify among silver, gold, uranium stocks and crypto and buy nothing consumable except maybe just one nice pool orgy with 7 high end prostitutes and a very large bag of cocaine.


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## The Last Stand (Oct 3, 2019)

Pay off my student debt. Invest in a mutual fund (make more money). Travel. Probably use a fraction of it on dumb shit (video games, relationships, food).


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## TFT-A9 (Oct 3, 2019)

Pissmaster General said:


> serious answer: invest 900k into a very stable stock that pays dividends, and use the other 100k for vacation/fun/squandering money



Gonna go with this or something similar.  Might share some with my few friends, depending, as I tend to be surprisingly frugal when I'm not buying alcohol


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## LazyLizard (Oct 3, 2019)

i'll just give a boring answer, i'd invest it or put it in the bank and let it grow


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## Manwithn0n0men (Oct 3, 2019)

#0 2 Chicks at the same time (obv)
#1 taxes
#2 pay off all debts
#3 necessary dental work and cosmetic dental work
#4 Plug the rest into a IRA


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## DumbDude42 (Oct 3, 2019)

start a small underground terrorism operation and use the money to wreak havoc

i bet you can buy enough explosvies and used vans for quite a few car bombs with a million dollars


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## DimensionalMergeEnthusias (Oct 3, 2019)

Buy a nice house for myself. Buy two decent houses to rent out. Hopefully never work again.


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## Lurkio (Oct 3, 2019)

Spend about 50k on a degree related for a hobby that I otherwise enjoy but is generally considered useless unless you're willing to work for degenerates (three guesses what I'm talking about).

But after that, I'd drop about 100-200K on a decent house (nothing huge or stupid expensive, but in a nice location and not falling apart) then put about 500-600K in savings to pay for the taxes for the next 50 or so years so I can get by working an semi-easy going job. I don't think dropping work all together is a good idea because sitting around all day doing nothing while completely shunning the outside world rarely tends to end well unless you're a creative genius, which last I checked, I wasn't. So having something to get me out of the house and bringing in a little extra revenue wouldn't be a bad idea. 

I'm not sure if I trust myself to invest in something, but if my math is right, I'd still have about 150-250K left to burn, so it would be something to consider, though I'd have to do plenty of research so I don't end up giving a good chunk of change to some moron who's  "make it big" plan hasn't even gotten out of the "mulling it around in my head" stage.


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## Easterling (Oct 3, 2019)

I'd buy a nice house, nothing too flashy, just enough to support me and any future spouse I might meet in the future. I would then fill that house will all the exceptional crap I've always wanted to buy like a suit of armour or other silly decorations. The rest I would think about investing in and maybe taking my family on a nice holiday.


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## Dwight Frye (Oct 3, 2019)

Pay off existing debts, improve my home in various ways, do a little traveling, give my friends and certain family members each a nice gift and invest the rest.


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## LolRaccoon (Oct 3, 2019)

I would pay off the rest I owe for school and buy a candy bar with the rest of the money.


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## 💗Freddie Freaker💗 (Oct 3, 2019)

Xandius Maximus said:


> First, I'd buy citizenship from St, Kitts and Nevis, renounce my US citizenship and then invest the remainder into blue chip dividend stocks and live out the rest of my life browsing the internet in some tropical country where my purchasing power would triple.


Wouldn't your getting mugged power also triple, though? Poor countries aren't known for being safe, particularly if people know you have money...



MechanicusAdmin said:


> Invest enough for a comfortable yearly income. With the rest buy a reasonably sized house for a reasonable sum, Fort knox it inside and out. Turn it into a cat rescue resort. A couple of live in student vets (free accomodation etc)  and a foster program for rehoming. Be the cat king I was born to always be.


Start a cat cafe and sell crafts made of cat hair.


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## DumbDude42 (Oct 3, 2019)

Fangsofjeff said:


> Poor countries aren't known for being safe, particularly if people know you have money...


depends on the country
you can go to some nice eastern european former soviet country like latvia or estonia and live like a king while at the same time being in an area with lower crime rates than america


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## Dwight Frye (Oct 3, 2019)

LolRaccoon said:


> I would pay off the rest I owe for school and buy a candy bar with the rest of the money.



You sure you're gonna have enough left over to buy the candy bar? I mean, you _probably _could get one of those little fun sized mini bars after paying your student loans, but I think affording a full sized one is right out.


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## A Grey Cat (Oct 4, 2019)

Buy a nice house in the heartland with cash up front, I heard once if you pay full price in cash then the place is fully paied off no payments unless you mortgage it

Then get my own fracking installed or invest in it to live off the grid and avoid utility bills


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## An Account (Oct 4, 2019)

I'd start that cult I've always wanted. I'd make sure our compound was fireproofed and had an extensive tunnel network so the ATF can't burn us out.


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## c-no (Oct 5, 2019)

I'd spend it all to try and make my own pmc. Call it Deagle Nation and use it to protect America. Hire only the best marines and COD trained gamers.

Serious Answer: Spend 50k on frivolous shit, save the rest for more important shit but try and save up as much as I can and spend it on something that can help keep me afloat because I'm sure a million dollars can end up going down the drain in at least one wrong move.


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## mr.moon1488 (Oct 5, 2019)

Outright buy a small house, and invest the rest.  You can either blow the money and be broke in a couple of years, or you can save it and live fairly comfortably without having to worry about being hard up for cash for the rest of your life.  Unless you're old, you'd still need to work but not having a mortgage, or putting so much into a retirement fund regularly would be a massive lifestyle improvement.


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## Kamov Ka-52 (Oct 5, 2019)

Spend it all on blackjack and avgas.


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## spurger king (Oct 5, 2019)

I'd buy my parents' house, move back into the basement, and turn it into the ultimate comfy NEET cave.


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## Kyria the Great (Oct 5, 2019)

Go to burn it all on video just to watch everyone watch in horrror as I light a million dollars on fire.


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## afternoon_tea (Oct 5, 2019)

Buy some land in the blue ridge mountains and start a big homesteading project.


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## Buer (Oct 7, 2019)

I'd pay off my student loan debt and prob end up giving 50k to the four people in my family I care about(it would also be to get them off my back because there's no way I'd be able to hide it from them). Might try to buy a house in a good area if there are any. Buy a lot of games/anime and invest the rest.


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## Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost (Oct 7, 2019)

Invest part of it in dividend paying stocks so I'd never have to work again and each year would be bank rolled with a cushy though not grandiose salary. 

Buy a property with a lot of land, farm it ecologically and set up a sort of nice little permaculture farmstead with a hotel/hostel element. 

All excess would be siphoned off to help other members of my family. 

Do some travelling, do some educational stuff I've always wanted to do, but haven't had the funds in place to bank roll. Get a PHD for shits and giggles, and live as an eccentric, that sort of thing.

Oh and continue my pilgrimages.


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## Picklechu (Oct 7, 2019)

1. Pay off mortgage.
2. Pay off student loans.
3. Go on a crazy vacation and barely be sober the entire trip.
4. Throw the rest into my investment portfolio. Maybe buy another condo or a house to rent out.


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## Damn Near (Oct 7, 2019)

Spoil the fam a bit and invest the rest


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## millais (Oct 7, 2019)

If the idea of the thought experiment is like the one in Office Space where you're not supposed to use the million dollars for further enriching your own financial wealth through investment, then I would use the million dollars towards funding some pet cause. Maybe buying guns, ammo, and MREs for some of those South African survivalist groups so they will have a better chance of surviving when SHTF


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## UnclePhil (Oct 9, 2019)

Fix the goddamned floor in our bathroom, repair the outlet next to the fridge so we can don't have to use an extension cord anymore, and cut down the trees that grew up too close to our house.

Really I'm more interested in fixing the broken shit that I have already, but ideally I'd like to move onto a large patch of land in the middle of nowhere country. Then I would get a couple big doggos that can run free without leash laws or death on the highway.


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## Black Waltz (Oct 9, 2019)

do whatever I want


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## MechanicusAdmin (Oct 9, 2019)

millais said:


> If the idea of the thought experiment is like the one in Office Space where you're not supposed to use the million dollars for further enriching your own financial wealth through investment, then I would use the million dollars towards funding some pet cause. Maybe buying guns, ammo, and MREs for some of those South African survivalist groups so they will have a better chance of surviving when SHTF


'My Name Is Earl' alternative timeline style.


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## Niggernerd (Oct 9, 2019)

Build a nice small house surrounded by nature and invest in lucrative businesses to keep the cash flow going then invest in Japan's military to create functional Zaku II mobile suits.


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## drtoboggan (Oct 9, 2019)

Someone already said what I'd do: two chicks at the same time.


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## Buster O'Keefe (Oct 9, 2019)

Kyria the Great said:


> Go to burn it all on video just to watch everyone watch in horrror as I light a million dollars on fire.


Are you Jimmy Cauty or Bill Drummond?


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## Mazinkaiser (Oct 9, 2019)

I would honestly be scared shitless at first, mainly because my family and I would get hounded if anyone in my hometown found out. There are numerous stories of lottery winners becoming victims of crimes because some assholes get jealous over luck of the draw. 

If anything, my first action would be to elaborately get the heat off me. First, I’d consult some sort of professional in charity works to establish my own “charity” that really acts as a funnel back to me with a guise of legitimacy. I’d make a big song and dance over “I’m just gonna give 95% of it to charity”, publicize it as much as possible, and then move out to Lebanon and live comfortably there for the rest of my life (barring dune coons doing dune coon shit to each other).


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## Henry Wyatt (Oct 9, 2019)

Literally Hotler said:


> Build a scaled down WTC and reenact 9/11. If it doesn't fully collapse in the same way then some people have some explaining to do.


>scaled down
well of course it wont collapse in the same way unless you  perfectly recreate the twin towers


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## Malagor the dank omen (Oct 17, 2019)

Buy a big plot of land in an isolated and faraway place, build a small and comfy house, get some cows, bees a nice big orchard and kick away all the years i have left there. Also, learn carpentry and smithing.


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## Never Scored (Oct 17, 2019)

I'd buy @edboy's childhood home with half, give the other half to his mom and laugh while I fuck his mom in front of him while his childhood home burns down behind us.


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## Foltest (Oct 17, 2019)

pay off my student debt, get a nice house and invest around 100k into stocks. The rest I would let someone I trust look after.


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## MembersSchoolPizza (Oct 17, 2019)

Buy ten or twenty acres in the middle of some northern flyover state. Montana, Michigan, Minnesota... One of the M's, maybe. Or maybe Idaho or one of the Dakotas. I'm flexible. Not on either coast, and somewhere where it freezes hard and cold in the winter to kill off some of the things that plague hot weather climates. Someplace near enough to a population center of no more than a few thousand that I can make trips for supplies without it being an all-day trip just to buy a jug of milk. Build a small cabin with a good cellar. Bank the rest to accrue as much interest as possible.

Send a picture of myself relaxing in a hammock with a book and a beer once a month to Moviebob for the rest of his life.


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## Red Hood (Oct 17, 2019)

Buy enough jewlery that I physically can't stand while wearing it


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## Plasmapheresis (Oct 18, 2019)

Fund genetically engineered Catgirls for domestic ownership


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## fat ugly sped (Oct 19, 2019)

Dump 100% of it into low-cost broad-market equity index funds, change literally zero things about my life other than moving up my "fuck it, time to stop working" timeline.


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## Ex Cummunicated Sasser HD (Oct 19, 2019)

I'd just put it with the rest of my millions.


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## Julias_Seizure (Nov 7, 2019)

Invest 95% of it and use the other 5% as the hookers and blow fund


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## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Nov 7, 2019)

This is going to sound stupid but I can't really think of anything I would want outside of fulfilling one childhood dream. I want to take a tool van, one of those kind that doesn't have any windows in the back, and put shag carpet and a water bed in there and just drive across the country and live on the road until I die. I don't know if it would make me happy but it's the only thing I've ever really dreamed of doing.


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## Deadwaste (Nov 7, 2019)

with a million dollars, i could build a computer that has 2 2080tis in it instead of one


Black Waltz said:


> do whatever I want


just because you have a million dollars doesnt mean you can get away with murdering people


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