# What topics would you just *love* to hear Phil hold forth upon?



## rizlajizzla (Jul 11, 2018)

Personally, I love it when Phil rambles on about some non-game related gibberish half formed idea or topic he read about 29 years ago from a copy of his grandma's Reader's Digest.  Like his brief but informative lecture on acid-related diseases of the body, or his shocking expose on the state of mental health care in America today.  He has been alone in a room for 10 years, he is completely cut off from the reality of the workplace and any type of social life AND he is an entitled asshole.  I love asktheking rants.  I really find it entertaining when he explains about how adult life is in America for his international fans (who he seems to envision as very stupid, and about 12.) (Yeah, ok, fair.)  He just spews the most astonishing, pig-ignorant drivel.

For luls, I would love to hear him fagsplain more about:

More stories about his childhood & teen years.  There must be a dozen more Wolverine stories; he was a dick.
Art.  I wanna know how many paintings he can recognize that he also knows the artist.

Crime.  You know the cringe would be intense.
What topic would you love Phil to enlighten you upon?


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## Black Waltz (Jul 11, 2018)

what does he think about touhou
wait, wrong Phil


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## Woyzeck (Jul 11, 2018)

I got a real good laugh out of his Army recruitment story. Everything about that was so “Phil”. The fact that the guy said he was a “top officer candidate” (lol), and the fact that he immediately resorted to insulting veterans (“hurr durr we’ll fight for our country”) over some perceived slight. Some of the clearest evidence I’ve seen to date that he has NPD.


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## gaarashatan (Jul 11, 2018)

honestly, anything. cause you know anything that comes out of that fast food mouth is just going to be and sound dumb as shit. "i have zero skills of my own, all i do is play video games and watch wwe for the last 10 yrs" DSP the wise. certainly the philosopher the world needs. and you know philosophers, they were always egotistical, narcissists, and shallow. and always bringing up the past of their "glory" days.


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## LyteSydeByll (Jul 11, 2018)

Really want to know his stance on politics. "cheer25 phil what do you think of Trump's tariffs?" "I don't know what you're talking about hahaha there you go thanks for the bits."


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## Postal Dude (Jul 11, 2018)

Honestly I'd prefer it if he shuts up.


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## Heckler1 (Jul 11, 2018)

I like whenever he crashes into some modern slang or meme he doesn't understand, and has an old man ramble about how new things are stupid


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## Commander Keen (Jul 11, 2018)

Woyzeck said:


> I got a real good laugh out of his Army recruitment story. Everything about that was so “Phil”. The fact that the guy said he was a “top officer candidate” (lol), and the fact that he immediately resorted to insulting veterans (“hurr durr we’ll fight for our country”) over some perceived slight. Some of the clearest evidence I’ve seen to date that he has NPD.



Phil was probably one of those kids who test well. If he actually did go to college, he did well on the SAT or ACT and that's how he got into that private school. His grades might have sucked because he's a lazy fuck and that's how he didn't get into UConn. 

That being said, the military recruitment story isn't anything unique. High schools across America place aside a day for students to take the ASVAB, which is the Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery. Phil probably thought it was awesome to be able to get out of class and went to take it. He probably did well, the ASVAB is piss-easy and designed to allow even the slow-in-the-minds to find a place in Uncle Sam's military. 

My mom said I could stay home that day if I agreed to not take the ASVAB, so I never took it until college where I was doing some research and I was told I would not be subject to recruitment efforts. Which was a lie, but that's another story. But in high school one of the "smart kids" had a stupid amazing score that made him eligible to do whatever he wanted to do and the military started calling his house almost every damn day trying to talk him into enlisting. This was a bit after 9-11, so recruitment efforts were jacked up to eleven. 

Like with anything, Phil only gives enough information to make himself seem awesome. I wish he would give more info, but that'll never happen because then anyone with a few minutes to spare could pick apart his story. Give me more details Phil. I need to know just how not-impressed I should be.


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## gaarashatan (Jul 11, 2018)

i took the asvab once, was very simple questions about common everyday things. like how an engine runs. almost fell asleep doing it cause it was so boring. but i digress. i would love see phil discuss the topic of his income, and how like 4 ppl are holding him from homelessness


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## rizlajizzla (Jul 11, 2018)

Woyzeck said:


> I got a real good laugh out of his Army recruitment story. Everything about that was so “Phil”. The fact that the guy said he was a “top officer candidate” (lol), and the fact that he immediately resorted to insulting veterans (“hurr durr we’ll fight for our country”) over some perceived slight. Some of the clearest evidence I’ve seen to date that he has NPD.



Good one!  That's exactly the kind of shit I find lolsy.  



gaarashatan said:


> i took the asvab once, was very simple questions about common everyday things. like how an engine runs. almost fell asleep doing it cause it was so boring. but i digress. i would love see phil discuss the topic of his income, and how like 4 ppl are holding him from homelessness



I wonder if Phil could draw out a simple steam engine on a scrap of paper.  I wonder if he could build a campfire.  Can you imagine being lost on a desert island with someone who's maximum competency is 4th place at Evo, like, 80  years ago?  I will assume he could change a tire or oil... or is my heart too soft?


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## gaarashatan (Jul 11, 2018)

rizlajizzla said:


> Good one!  That's exactly the kind of shit I find lolsy.
> 
> 
> 
> I wonder if Phil could draw out a simple steam engine on a scrap of paper.  I wonder if he could build a campfire.  Can you imagine being lost on a desert island with someone who's maximum competency is 4th place at Evo, like, 80  years ago?  I will assume he could change a tire or oil... or is my heart too soft?



definitely too soft, no way does he know how to change oil. or plumbing, or household appliances, or even simply repairing a hole in drywall. like ive always said, he has zero skills, all he can do is make a shitty sauce, play video games (badly) and complain. he has zero talent or skills for anything


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## Commander Keen (Jul 11, 2018)

rizlajizzla said:


> Good one!  That's exactly the kind of shit I find lolsy.
> 
> 
> 
> I wonder if Phil could draw out a simple steam engine on a scrap of paper.  I wonder if he could build a campfire.  Can you imagine being lost on a desert island with someone who's maximum competency is 4th place at Evo, like, 80  years ago?  I will assume he could change a tire or oil... or is my heart too soft?



He has a bad back, dood. He can't lift a tire to change it. He can't crank a jack. You want him to be paralyzed on the side of the road?


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## Noodles&Nuggets (Jul 11, 2018)

He's brought up starting a politics video series or podcast or something. I wonder what conclusions he comes to with all that work and life experience these past 10 years.


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## rizlajizzla (Jul 11, 2018)

Commander Keen said:


> He has a bad back, dood. He can't lift a tire to change it. He can't crank a jack. You want him to be paralyzed on the side of the road?



Maybe the ambulance men will come and he can get his own pill and leaflet.


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## actually (Jul 11, 2018)

Honestly, nothing. Phil is one of the most low-information people I've ever encountered. He doesn't know anything that's going on in the world, and he honestly doesn't even know much of what's going on in gaming outside of release dates. He has no intellectual curiosity that I can see. When he does decide to weigh in on a topic, it is 100% the most shallow possible stance that can be taken.


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## A Witty Name (Jul 12, 2018)

Whatever Phil talks about, I would want it to be in an internet bloodsports setting.


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## rizlajizzla (Jul 12, 2018)

actually said:


> Honestly, nothing. Phil is one of the most low-information people I've ever encountered. He doesn't know anything that's going on in the world, and he honestly doesn't even know much of what's going on in gaming outside of release dates. He has no intellectual curiosity that I can see. When he does decide to weigh in on a topic, it is 100% the most shallow possible stance that can be taken.



'Low Information' is the best thing I have heard in a while.  I am going to use that.  It's perfect.  I agree.



A Witty Name said:


> Whatever Phil talks about, I would want it to be in an internet bloodsports setting.



Yes. Oh, yes.  But we would need to understand the context of him flopping around on the floor like an Italian football star and begging for mercy.  Things are not just black and white.  When he submission pissed all over Geoffthehero, it was his depression, dude.


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## ProdigalDuke (Jul 12, 2018)

Him talking about sport is always great, because as always, he knows absolutely nothing about what he's discussing, but he probably read one article and suddenly feels like he can offer whatever is the most contrarian and edgy opinion about a currently trending event. Usually it boils down to "nobody cares about it, dood", which I believe he spouted for both the Mayweather v McGregor fight and the World Cup. If it's not big to Dave, then it's not big to anybody, real talk.

I don't know enough about WWE to comment on whether his views on it are garbage, but considering that's the only thing resembling a sport that he regularly watches, I'd expect him to have some sort of informed opinion. Then again, this is DSP.


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## Wurstbrot (Jul 12, 2018)

ProdigalDuke said:


> I don't know enough about WWE to comment on whether his views on it are garbage, but considering that's the only thing resembling a sport that he regularly watches, I'd expect him to have some sort of informed opinion. Then again, this is DSP.


Wrestling is totally Phil's style. It's a fabricated fight, fake opinions, fake winners/losers, fabricated drama, they have over the top costumes and sometimes dyed hair. This is awesome! Except when other streamers do that, nobody should like their toxic fake garbage*.

_*) Toxic Fake Garbage Streamers are presented by DSP, your source for made up people on the internet. _


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## Pubic Enemy #1 (Jul 12, 2018)

I really really want Phil to start talking about SJW stuff. Gender identity, microaggressions, and shit like that. You know he would if he thought he could make a quick buck, quick buck from it. He's dabbled in virtue-signalling when he tried to call out LTG for using the word "bitch", so he's testing the waters. That would be a glorious fountain of tard cum. Imagine Phil trying to PC Principal his chat for an hour or more.


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## rizlajizzla (Jul 12, 2018)

Pubic Enemy #1 said:


> I really really want Phil to start talking about SJW stuff. Gender identity, microaggressions, and shit like that. You know he would if he thought he could make a quick buck, quick buck from it. He's dabbled in virtue-signalling when he tried to call out LTG for using the word "bitch", so he's testing the waters. That would be a glorious fountain of tard cum. Imagine Phil trying to PC Principal his chat for an hour or more.



Oh, holy fuck.  That would be a goldmine.


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## Mannlicher (Jul 12, 2018)

Him trying to SJW virtue signal would only backfire on him, as anyone can point at many examples from his 10 year begacy of his numerous....shall we say, un-PC comments.

...which is precisely why I would love for him to do it.


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## Wurstbrot (Jul 12, 2018)

Mannlicher said:


> Him trying to SJW virtue signal would only backfire on him, as anyone can point many examples from his 10 year begacy of his numerous....shall we say, un-PC comments.
> 
> ...which is precisely why I would love for him to do it.


Absolutely. The fun in listening to his talk is to compare the quack with the walk. Sure he sounds like a duck, but the observation tells he don't know how to even duck.

That being said, I want to hear how to create and maintain a business (you create it and then ignore all detractors and be pahsitive). But without his channel as an example because his talk would be too obvious. It's not even a business dood.

The other good topics are already mentioned.


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## Dave (Jul 12, 2018)

Gender identity. That shit is a powder keg and I'd love to see all the backlash he would grt from it. It's like the backlash Boogie got but like 20 fold.


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## Coin Ops (Jul 12, 2018)

1. Apparel. Given his line of t-shirts (likely with Tevin's face hidden in them) and the DTF clothes Kat wears, I would love to see him (and her!) do a GQ/Esquire "How to Build a Wardrobe on $X" video series.

2. Grooming Products. We've already know of his love for Selsun Blue. I want to see what other kind of products he recommends. Plus it would be funny to see him use deodorant for the first time.

3. Mixed Martial Arts. I don't pay attention to MMA as much anymore, but I do enjoy watching it. And I still remember from one of his older PUBG streams where he shit all over Ronda Rousey because her competition "wasn't any good." While she was, for a time, a step above her competition as seen by her 6 successful UFC defenses, that does not invalidate the ability of the women she fought. These were fighters so good that they were ranked within the top 10 of their weight class in the UFC. The way this couch potato dismisses them is disrespectful to all the fucking dedication and sacrifice that every single one of her challengers made to get the opportunity to fight the champ. Now that I get all this out, I'm not so sure I want to hear him talk about MMA.


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## Monday Michiru (Jul 12, 2018)

I have wanted anime reviews from him since like 2016. Adpocalypse extinguished all hope.


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## rizlajizzla (Jul 13, 2018)

Dave said:


> Gender identity. That shit is a powder keg and I'd love to see all the backlash he would grt from it. It's like the backlash Boogie got but like 20 fold.



That would be beautiful.  Phil is very gracious in his regards to gay men, he totally gives them permission to exist if they stay out of his way.  That's very kind.  I am sure he would give trannies his seal of approval too, if they agreed to behave.  Wouln't they be happy!?



Coin Ops said:


> 1. Apparel. Given his line of t-shirts (likely with Tevin's face hidden in them) and the DTF clothes Kat wears, I would love to see him (and her!) do a GQ/Esquire "How to Build a Wardrobe on $X" video series.
> 
> 2. Grooming Products. We've already know of his love for Selsun Blue. I want to see what other kind of products he recommends. Plus it would be funny to see him use deodorant for the first time.
> 
> 3. Mixed Martial Arts. I don't pay attention to MMA as much anymore, but I do enjoy watching it. And I still remember from one of his older PUBG streams where he shit all over Ronda Rousey because her competition "wasn't any good." While she was, for a time, a step above her competition as seen by her 6 successful UFC defenses, that does not invalidate the ability of the women she fought. These were fighters so good that they were ranked within the top 10 of their weight class in the UFC. The way this couch potato dismisses them is disrespectful to all the fucking dedication and sacrifice that every single one of her challengers made to get the opportunity to fight the champ. Now that I get all this out, I'm not so sure I want to hear him talk about MMA.



See, Phil is on to something.  Men are pigs and only like women for their evil titty magic, and women who have titties invariably use them for evil magic, therefor all female success is because of evil titty magic.  Because men are pigs.  Except him.  So.... save the house?


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## JackDavis (Jul 13, 2018)

Dave said:


> Gender identity. That shit is a powder keg and I'd love to see all the backlash he would grt from it. It's like the backlash Boogie got but like 20 fold.



With how much DSP loves his "Gender Fluid" joke, you can see how much he doesn't respect it.


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## Lurkette (Jul 14, 2018)

his childhood. more then the snippets he's told us. I'd love a genuine overview, through his own eyes, about his childhood and family life.

I'd chop off a limb for an interview with his parents.


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## Noodles&Nuggets (Jul 14, 2018)

Lurkette said:


> his childhood. more then the snippets he's told us. I'd love a genuine overview, through his own eyes, about his childhood and family life.
> 
> I'd chop off a limb for an interview with his parents.


I told you. To buy. The figure. Why don't you listen. To meeeeeeee?


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## Dave (Jul 14, 2018)

JackDavis said:


> With how much DSP loves his "Gender Fluid" joke, you can see how much he doesn't respect it.



Thats exactly why I want to see him delve on the topic. Seeing him discuss it just to watch the powder keg explode and him desperately trying to squirm out of it with "context dood".


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## HansGruber (Jul 18, 2018)

I would like Phil to eat shit but above that it would be entertaining to have him revisit some of his old tales like the Hispanic 5/10 who wanted his dick but then didn't talk to him on prom night. Or his run in with the knife toting ex boyfriend who had the fire department called so he could target Phil for having girls in his "party" quad. Or my personal favorite, the_ "Tell me Phil, why didn't you get dress up for this interview" _retail story. The list goes on but I'd like to see him forget every bullshit thing he said on camera and retell the stories with whatever new delusional twist his imagination conjures up in that moment.


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## GnomeofDoc (Jul 18, 2018)

The Russian election "interference" I would like to see him bumble through that.


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## LordofCringe7206 (Jul 18, 2018)

I would love to talk to DSP about things he supposedly has claimed to be a fan of. Just make a list of hobbies or things he has said to like and just ask him questions about them.


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## Xenomorph (Jul 19, 2018)

The fact that he was probably lusting after his cousin who came to live with h im and his parents.


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## Zaryiu (Jul 21, 2018)

What subject would cause the most backlash to him. The big 3 would probably be politics, religion and abortion


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## sperginity (Jul 21, 2018)

His personal failures.


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