# How has 2020 changed you?



## Legoshi (Jul 25, 2021)

2020 has been a hard year everybody and whilst some have stayed resilient and unchanged throughout the difficult times, I'd argue that last year either makes or breaks someone. Sometimes the events are far too much to handle and cope with. This leads to a breaking point where everything becomes unbearable. This is how I felt.

2020 has changed me for the worse. Once I was a happy young adult who had a few friends and was enjoying my social life. I had a life then. Then came along the lockdown and while I was able to tunnel through during spring and summer, fall came along and I became very depressed and out of energy. This is partially why I joined Kiwifarms. I lost most of my friends from lack of contact and restrictions and I was now a miserable shut in who spent his days in his room looking at a screen watching useless online lectures. University was more of a chore than a fun task and everyone I knew no longer talked to me. So no more fun video calls or telephone chats. 

The months of November and January were torture and hell. I was all on my own during those months and everything felt like it was stuck in a rut where nothing would get better.
Sure I was very productive during the first few months like learning new languages and new things to cook rather than sitting around playing video gsnes, but then I ran out of steam because not going outside and seeing people just started to wear me down. I've started to feel bitter angry, and jaded about the world and the mess we live in now. The people I know are now chippy and  paranoid, especially when talking to someone who doesn't agree with them. I'm now a cynical arsehole who doesn't trust anyone anymore.

As I'm a bit of a shut in and awkward loser with no life, it's so difficult for me to get out to meet people and find new things to do. I feel so awkward and alone as I don't know a lot of people my age anymore. I've lost a lot of passion and motivation to do anything, especially the things I enjoy the most. I want to cry but I just can't.


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## Smug Chuckler (Jul 25, 2021)

2020 made me more cynical.


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## Gone Ham (Jul 25, 2021)

More cynical, depressed and angry tbf.


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## Basement Dwelling Dork (Jul 25, 2021)

Same with the rest of them but also feeling dazed about how we are now reaching full circle.


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## Sex Cannon Lupa (Jul 25, 2021)

I lost what little remained of my belief in people, and I now aggressively despise other races, especially white people for fucking up a perfectly livable world with their social justice faggotry. I also don't believe NASA ever went to the moon. Where are the tapes then, bitch? Where are the tapes?

Forgot how, my ass.


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## lukewarm coffee (Jul 25, 2021)

Basically I hate everything now when before I only hated most things. I trust nothing and no one, am anxious and/or worried just about every single moment, and my head is blasted by intrusive negative thoughts when I'm trying to relax. Feel like I'm standing on the edge waiting to either jump or be pushed off. KF is my only haven of sanity left and motherfuckers want to take that away too.
But my cats are still sweet, so that's nice.


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## Some JERK (Jul 25, 2021)

It made my job 100% better. Because everyone was forced to distance, people learned the value of remote work and the valuelessness of pointless meetings. Now that things are opened back up, nobody I deal with really wants to go back to the timewasting, even the boomer holdouts. I get so much more shit done these days because I don't have to waste hours and hours of my week in a car in shit traffic driving somewhere to do something that I can do just as easily sitting at my desk.

11/10. Would sacrifice millions of lives for it again.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 25, 2021)

I now trust the government even less than I did before, and individuals FAR less than I ever have. I didn't know there was any trust left to lose, but here we are. Everyone's a goddamn pundit. Everyone's a doctor. Everyone's an expert. Everyone is a moral crusader. At this point, all I want is to be left alone. It was a joke before, but now I am 100% convinced beyond any shadow of a doubt that we're headed directly to civil war. Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.

I might be getting more religious than agnostic-who-leans-towards-Christian-Values now. It's pretty clear that Secular America has brought out the absolute worst in everyone, and we are taking a serious deathspiral into the morally repugnant and degenerate. I am still in conflict with this, because Christianity has few answers to the question of what you're supposed to do to get your society back to a point where bringing children into this world isn't an act of abject cruelty, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. In the meantime, Christian morality beats the shit out of moral subjectivism.

Outside of that, the rest of 2020 was just more clown world, so I'm used to it, in a sort of silently be disgusted by absolutely everything around me kind of way.


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## L50LasPak (Jul 25, 2021)

I quit drinking in 2020. Seeing the world clearly and not through a bottle for the first time in three years, I've just become that much more of an asshole and have even less empathy than I ever imagined. I don't even want to go back to drinking anymore since the thought of taking up anything that might make my opinion of the world better just disgusts me. 

Its interesting that a few people have mentioned becoming more religious or gravitating towards traditional values more due to recent events. I find myself thinking about those old Calvinist doctrines that describe a humanity where your fate is already decided when you're born and the world was never meant to be a pleasant place to live, instead its an unforgiving and merciless punishment for humanity's original sin. If I've ever had faith in anything in my life its probably this. I see no point in converting though.

I suppose at this point I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen.


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## Chilson (Jul 25, 2021)

I went from merely angrily tolerating trannys, gays, niggers and politicians along with their retarded antics to actively hoping bad things happen to them and they would all just go somewhere else.

On the upside, I was able to quit my awful job far away from my family in a part of the country I loathed (for weather reasons) and got a much better job closer to my family with weather I love. So give and take I suppose.


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## Coolio55 (Jul 25, 2021)

I sat in my room and learned some skills. Gotta use all that extra time constructively.
I always assumed the worst about govenments and useful idiots so the big picture is no surprise whatsoever.


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## Legoshi (Jul 25, 2021)

L50LasPak said:


> I quit drinking in 2020. Seeing the world clearly and not through a bottle for the first time in three years, I've just become that much more of an asshole and have even less empathy than I ever imagined. I don't even want to go back to drinking anymore since the thought of taking up anything that might make my opinion of the world better just disgusts me.
> 
> Its interesting that a few people have mentioned becoming more religious or gravitating towards traditional values more due to recent events. I find myself thinking about those old Calvinist doctrines that describe a humanity where your fate is already decided when you're born and the world was never meant to be a pleasant place to live, instead its an unforgiving and merciless punishment for humanity's original sin. If I've ever had faith in anything in my life its probably this. I see no point in converting though.
> 
> I suppose at this point I'm just waiting for something interesting to happen.


SJW doctrine and the people spouting it has eventually lead to me to having less empathy and sympathy for others. Empathy and sympathy is a one way street for people in the modern world. We all want it, but can never seem to give it back. 

I have a hardened heart after people had hurt me over the years, especially in 2020 when ex friends ghosted me. It was a cruel realization that I don't think I'll have any good relationships if this nightmare continues. It feels like I'm doing everything wrong when I talk to people anyway. I'm a doomer now as a result of government incompetence fucking up my life.


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## Finder (Jul 25, 2021)

More cynical, more distrusting of health officials. I hate my work for the first time ever, but I can't go into that without major power levelling. I'm not a huge person, but I lost some weight so that's good for me.

I've stayed more or less the same in terms of religion, but I was already strong in that before. I really wish drinking wasn't haram, any escape this last year and a half  would have been nice.


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## L50LasPak (Jul 25, 2021)

Finder said:


> I really wish drinking wasn't haram, any escape this last year and a half would have been nice.


Drinking doesn't really work anyway.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 25, 2021)

L50LasPak said:


> Drinking doesn't really work anyway.


It works just long enough to push your problems off to tomorrow when you wake up. But now that you're awake, you can start drinking again.


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## teriyakiburns (Jul 25, 2021)

I've lost empathy, which I'm going to have to fix if I want to function. I've also become a borderline alcoholic, though that probably would have happened anyway. It's also made me realise that life really is just too damn short and I should stop wasting time with pointless crap and just get on with what I want to do, because who knows what the idiots in charge will decide to do tomorrow?


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 25, 2021)

teriyakiburns said:


> I've lost empathy, which I'm going to have to fix if I want to function...



...in the society you grew up in, sure. If you want to get on in the $Current_Year, you HAVE to be a sociopathic narcissist. You have the option of either trying to revive what you grew up in and were conditioned to believe, or you can give up and have nothing but a seething hatred for your fellow man. Either way you choose, you probably aren't wrong to choose it, but the former is much harder than the latter and you will not be rewarded for it in this life. How unfortunate is that?


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## Big Ruski (Jul 25, 2021)

I've been pretty motivated since the pandemic ended, more then ever in my entire life. Landed a nice job, paying back debts, planning on going back to school, and hitting the weights again. I even found myself flirting alot with women despite being a loner. I don't care if I look like an idiot or a cornball when I try to impress women. I just want to fuck. Lack of pussy had a nigga achin in 2020.

I say the worse is my smoking addiction has pretty much spiraled out of control, and I'm somewhat psychotic after dealing with a long roach and rodent infestation in my apartment during 2020. I developed OCD when it comes to cleanliness and I will judge people hard if their dirty or messy.

Also I'm racist now.


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## A Nobody (Jul 25, 2021)

This pandemic has emphasized something obvious I already knew but hadn't stop to think about: Your health, your loved ones, the whole world is fragile. NEVER take that for granted.

It has also teached me to valorate social interaction much more. I used to not care about spending a lot of time on my own at home. After being unable to leave for a while, I try to go out with my friends more frequently than before. I may still be more introvert than most people, but there has been a clear change.


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## L50LasPak (Jul 25, 2021)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> It works just long enough to push your problems off to tomorrow when you wake up. But now that you're awake, you can start drinking again.


Yeah but that'll eventually catch up with you too. Trust me.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 25, 2021)

Never said it wouldn't!


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## Rusty Crab (Jul 25, 2021)

I've learned that the value of a human life is determined by their status as a friend or an enemy.


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## SneedEyeMitch (Jul 25, 2021)

2020 made my job easier as I was given less to do, whereas some couples seem to have struggled, my relationship grew closer. Overall nothing changed, I never believed the media and it's gotten to the point where I assume everything on tv is fake or lies. Far more healthier to focus on what's right in front of you than what's on a screen anyway.



ArnoldPalmer said:


> I might be getting more religious than agnostic-who-leans-towards-Christian-Values now. It's pretty clear that Secular America has brought out the absolute worst in everyone, and we are taking a serious deathspiral into the morally repugnant and degenerate. I am still in conflict with this, because Christianity has few answers to the question of what you're supposed to do to get your society back to a point where bringing children into this world isn't an act of abject cruelty, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. In the meantime, Christian morality beats the shit out of moral subjectivism.


Christianity doesn't have an answer to save your society because that was never it's mission, the new testimony is more about how to survive a hostile world rather than salvage it, Christians only started "salvaging" it when they became the majority (hint hint demographics) and how they conducted themselves in their community, they projected into society. The church fathers also discussed that very question about bringing children into this "cruel" world. Simple put mate the future belongs to those who show up and the meek shall inherit the earth.


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## Baby Cakes (Jul 25, 2021)

Being a mostly misanthropic person, none of this affected me. I bought parts for my classic muscle car, traveled America, visited some national parks, helped my family move, and continued to watch everyone lose their minds. People like me will survive it all and maybe then there will finally be some fucking peace on this rock.


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## mindlessobserver (Jul 25, 2021)

2020 made me realize I hated the city and everyone in it. So I moved out. My tax dollars will no longer subsidize those ungrateful parasites and their pet hobos.


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## Pickle Dick (Jul 25, 2021)

2020 was something of a mixed bag for me.

On one hand, and while I haven't developed a sense of nihilism and misanthropy like most of the other people here, I have at the very least come to realize how genuinely awful some people are, not to mention how the true colors of some people have fully risen out of that year. I've also realized how incompetent the governments are, along with the politicians and government officials that really don't realize what they're doing. 

On the other hand, 2020 did really give me a lot more time to develop my interest in hobbies I've been pondering about for years, and I've been leaning back into being a more religious person. So overall, I think 2020 has changed me for the better somewhat, though I've become suspicious towards the big institutions at the same time.


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## Tad Loaf (Jul 25, 2021)

Made life a little easier with how much work can be done online now that jobs actually opened the path. Otherwise not much, 2020 was kind of comfy in retrospect.


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## Gensou Hadou (Jul 25, 2021)

I hate people now. I've learned that people will put up with anything. I also believe that my best days are behind me, so I'm not so much living as I am waiting for when something finally gets the courage to kill me. Most importantly, I've learned not to take a normal life for granted.


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## Blake Chortles (Jul 25, 2021)

I grew much closer to God and have a much greater clarity on where I stand in this world. I also became a father.

It was one of the hardest years of my life but ultimately one of the best because of this.


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## Syaoran Li (Jul 25, 2021)

Honestly, 2020 was a mixed bag for me in the grand scheme of it all.

In the short-term it fucked with my initial hopes that Woke Leftism would eventually burn itself out on its own due to both the BLM coup and the 2020 election solidifying its strength.

It also put several major plans for my life on delay for another year due to lockdowns.

In the long-term though, it was the wake up call that I sorely needed and as a result, I quit drinking and became more mindful of my own money. I've become more meticulous in planning for my future and have made several major life changes that have so far turned out for the better.

I'm now completely debt-free, which gives me a massive leg up as opposed to other Late Millennials and Zoomers, even in this Great Reset.


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Jul 25, 2021)

I think it changed me a lot better, but not because of anything directly related to world affairs. Just that I was always a late bloomer socially and I became a lot more sociable this past year.


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## teriyakiburns (Jul 25, 2021)

Syaoran Li said:


> I'm now completely debt-free, which gives me a massive leg up as opposed to other Late Millennials and Zoomers, even in this Great Reset.


Absolutely. Debt is a surrender of control over your life. As a temporary measure it can be useful in some circumstances, but long-term debt is a killer. Good for you for escaping that.


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## Billy Beer (Jul 26, 2021)

I've lost all of my motivation, have no interest in socialising and can't be arsed doing the small chores that I used to enjoy. I'm smoking daily now just as a routine, want to quit but enjoy it too much and there's no reason to quit.

I've gone from meticulously clean, organised and morally strong, to a scruffy, disorganised pussy. I used to wear my opinions on my sleeve and i would say it how it is, now i just smile and nod because i have no interest in interacting with people, including women. I used to be a pussy hound, now i couldn't give a fuck.

What's hit me the hardest though is that i was always independent and did shit i wanted to do when i wanted to do it. Now i'm 'waiting' for something before i do shit.

/miserablepost


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## The Wicked Mitch (Jul 26, 2021)

I used to believe at least 50% of the population were degenerate subhumans, in reality it was apparently 95%+ all along and I now fully understand both modern elites and all of human history when it comes to dealing with the general population.


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## Mukhrani (Jul 26, 2021)

It really pruned my friend groups down. I used to have two distinct, non-intersecting groups of friends. Liberal-leaning friends from college, and more redneck, blue collar friends from the rural area that I grew up in. The former went batshit crazy during the pandemic and refused to hang out or visit with anyone. Then BLM hit, and they all went off the fucking deep end and started posting on Facebook about how people like me and my entire family are subhuman scum (not specifically, just general venomous hatred of rural white people). I think that, for people like that, isolation lead them to become kind of unhinged to begin with. It forced all social interactions to be filtered through social media, which in turn pumped the efficacy of the standard algorithm-driven propaganda up to 110. By the end of 2020 I just saw most of them as lost causes, and realized that they were never going to go back to their carefree, moderate selves who could take a joke or critically approach a controversial topic. The brain worms were terminal.

I also lost some faith in the medical industry. I used to take what they said with a grain of salt, but watching doctors browbeat family members and friends who had already had Covid (confirmed cases) into taking a vaccine distributed under a EUA just left a really bad taste in my mouth. I used to take what doctors said with the same measured skepticism that I would give to any expert, now I outright expect them to push treatments on me with little to no efficacy. There are plenty of good doctors out there; a good friend of mine who was pregnant had a doctor who explained the risks to her and told her that it was a bad idea for her to take it because her risk group hadn't seen extensive enough testing. But between the opioid epidemic, Vioxx, and now this I'm just much more jaded about them in general.

Journalists, on the other hand, I see as total and irredeemable scum at this point. Any lingering shred of respect that I had for their profession was destroyed by 2020.


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## Meat Target (Jul 26, 2021)

My account at Fucks-to-Give Bank seems perpetually overdrawn. 


The Wicked Mitch said:


> I used to believe at least 50% of the population were degenerate subhumans, in reality it was apparently 95%+ all along and I now fully understand both modern elites and all of human history when it comes to dealing with the general population.


Are you basing that opinion on what you see in meatspace, or online? Because 2020 also showed me how the news and the internet are utterly divorced from reality.


The endless barrage of propaganda and gaslighting would not be necesssary if the situation were hopeless. The fact that TPTB need it shows there are enough people who are resistant to their bullshit to threaten their hegemony. 

I'm not saying everything is fine and dandy. But there are still decent, non-insane people in this world, and you'll see them once you take your eyes off the screen. Only 10% of America is on Twitter, and 90% of tweets come from 10% of *that* 10%. 

There's a vast difference between accepting the gravity of reality ("being redpilled") and being a moping, bedwetting doomer. The blackpill is the way of the coward.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 27, 2021)

Meat Target said:


> Are you basing that opinion on what you see in meatspace, or online? Because 2020 also showed me how the news and the internet are utterly divorced from reality.



Not me who wrote that, but I agree with it, and I have two things to say:

1. There is no dividing line between The Internet and The Meatsphere anymore. Yes, there is a hard, physical, division between the tangible and the digital, but now that the general public have had a year (or more!) to stew on the internet, and only the internet, they only know how to behave like they do on the internet. Within the context of what the other guy was trying to say, I don't think the answer to that question matters as much as it did, even in 2015. For better or worse, people are more honest now than they've ever been in public. I'd like it, only if people weren't so concerned over shit that doesn't matter.

Touching grass isn't an escape anymore. The busybody trogs and the government are going to try and catch you, no matter how far innawoods you go.

2. The situation IS hopeless, because nobody is gonna get off their dead asses and put this unbelievably horrible corpse of a government to pasture. What you're seeing with the 'propaganda and gaslighting' is the equivalent of telling everyone on an imploding space ship to 'calm down, help is on the way' so as to distract them for just long enough to catch a ride on the last escape pod. We're in this for the long-haul, and every day it's going to get worse.


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## Skitzels (Jul 27, 2021)

My patience for losers has gone down A LOT.

I have come to realize that there are so many people in my age group who aren’t resourceful at all.


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## Bababo (Jul 28, 2021)

I have radicalized beyond the point of no return.


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## Billy Beer (Jul 28, 2021)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> Yes, there is a hard, physical, division between the tangible and the digital, but now that the general public have had a year (or more!) to stew on the internet, and only the internet, they only know how to behave like they do on the internet.


Quoted for Truth.

Do they only know how to behave like they do on the internet, or do they prefer to behave how they do on the internet, because the dopamine hit fills them with warm fuzzy?


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## Euler's identity (Jul 28, 2021)

It sent me spiralling down a rabbit hole that's eventually led me to the farms.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 28, 2021)

HymanHive said:


> Quoted for Truth.
> 
> Do they only know how to behave like they do on the internet, or do they prefer to behave how they do on the internet, because the dopamine hit fills them with warm fuzzy?



I think one part of it is the feeling they get from upcummies, as you say, but the other is that normalfags are keenly adaptable to changes in culture. They took on the TV 2.0 internet and meshed with it well, but they probably don't know how to turn it off like, presumably, you or I do.

I've seen it happen already with the Tumbltards and Faceboomers of the past, now it's happening to otherwise well-adjusted millennials and zoomers.


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## Billy Beer (Jul 28, 2021)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> I think one part of it is the feeling they get from upcummies, as you say, l but the other is that normalfags are keenly adaptable to changes in culture. They took on the TV 2.0 internet and meshed with it well, but they probably don't know how to turn it off like, presumably, you or I do.


I don't think they know that there's an off button, or that they're strapped in for a ride. 



Spoiler:  OT Ramblings



Talk to co-workers who aren't close friends and monitor how often they whip out their phone, for no reason other than to 'check' it. Ask them to put their phone down on a table within arms reach, for 15 minutes, then strike up a conversation.

It's amazing how many people will instinctively reach out and grab their phone a few minutes in to talking. If you ask them why they picked it up, they won't know, or will give a generic 'check messages' (5 minutes after the last check?!) answer. 

People are addicted to the internet worse than any addiction i've seen, be it booze, smoking, caffeine, weed or even smack, and 2020 was like a mega-injection straight in to the veins for 9 months solid.





Spoiler: More ramblings



They did an experiment with rats, where they attached an electrode to the pleasure centre of the brain. When the rats pushed a lever, they got a hit of pure pleasure. the rats were hitting the lever over 10,000 times a day. After a few days, more rats had died of dehydration or starvation, as pressing that pleasure lever was better than anything else. 

Makes you wonder when you see fat people ordering fast food, while on their phones, and lashing out aggressively to anyone who tries to break them away from their phones, if Twitter et al is a pleasure switch for people with a psychological disposition for artificial stimulation, because they lack the ability to find or enjoy natural stimulation


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## Bababo (Jul 28, 2021)

HymanHive said:


> I don't think they know that there's an off button, or that they're strapped in for a ride.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And then when you criticize them for this they call you a boomer dismissively. No hope for phone addicts. It’s genuinely depressing.


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## Billy Beer (Jul 28, 2021)

Bababo said:


> And then when you criticize them for this they call you a boomer dismissively. No hope for phone addicts. It’s genuinely depressing.


It is. At once point i felt sorry for people who were constantly hooked on their phone, then I laughed at them, now they're no better than a smack head. 

Homeless drug addicts and wankstains with their face planted in their phones are the same thing to me.


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## Kornula (Jul 28, 2021)

I have found myself wanting to really stand out in my yard in my bathrobe and yell for everyone to get off my lawn a lot more maybe...

It changed my former friends and relatives though.


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## TheProdigalStunna (Jul 28, 2021)

2020 made me a hell of a lot more left-wing.  Even in my right-wing populist phase I knew the elites in this country were totally out of touch, but I had no idea until COVID-19 hit how there really is no one at the controls, and how this fact is inseparable from unchecked market forces (something right-wing me tried to ignore).  Learning about the depth of the ecological crisis was also a hard pill to swallow, but a necessary one.  It's very hard to see how not only our country (which is inevitably headed towards dissolution) but our species is going to get out of this one.  Learning that Uncle Ted and Linkola weren't just memes was a tough one.

It sucks.  I miss being right-wing.


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## Unassuming Local Guy (Jul 28, 2021)

The federal government is now at a 0 on my scale of respect (0=No Respect...10=Respect).


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## Myles the Potatophile (Jul 28, 2021)

Right before everything shut down I lost a family member and my best friend. Life just hasn't been the same after I lost them, and looking back at it now, I withdrew from a lot of things that I used to do after they died. I tried to keep myself together through Spring and Summer, but as the riots popped off I started to lose my nerve. From the beginning of the lockdown I wasn't afraid of Corona anywhere near as much as I was afraid of what other people might do. I thought things might get rough as people could ran out of patience or resources, but instead it took Big Floyd overdosing to cause coordinated mass rioting throughout the Western Hemisphere within 48 hours. We went from 'Thank you healthcare workers!' to 'Fuck 12! ACAB!' really quick.

I cant' really say anything that hasn't been said about last year. I got sick watching the riots, the destruction, the politics. All of it dragged me down. I joined Kiwifarms to have a place to discuss and read about the greatest happening of our time. It's important to be able to do that, especially in a world that seems to be getting more and more restrictive. I was watching livestreams of the riots almost every night. Watched Rittenhouse clean up the mean streets of Kenosha live through a stream linked in the riot thread.

Made it out of all that alright, but I have anxiety for the future in a way I didn't have it since I was a teenager. The whole world seems uncertain in a way I didn't think it could be. On the bright side I've still got my job, a place to live, almost no debt, and stability in life. The only thing to do is to keep moving forward.


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## The Last Stand (Jul 28, 2021)

I thought I was Black. But Joe Biden said if I didn't vote for him, I ain't Black.






So I guess my race changed.


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## Afinepickle (Jul 28, 2021)

All 2020 really accomplished with me is making me genuinely stop giving a shit about the world in general. As far as I am concerned the past two years have demonstrated that we are fucked beyond belief as a species in nearly each and every way from financially to culturally.

I'll just concern myself with my own little pocket of the world and my own little niche shit while ignoring everything that doesn't effect me directly because there frankly isn't even a point in righteous indignation at this stage.


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## The Big O (Jul 28, 2021)

I went from reasonably optimistic upon having a comfortable new job in 2019 after a rather PL-worthy previous few years to 2020 once more shattering my faith in humanity as well as eroding trust with much of my family members over everything that went on with the COVID clown world. Let's see... I couldn't talk all of my immediate family members out of getting the COVID vax. One sister now thinks I'm close to being an insurrectionist due to being pretty open about my support of Trump during the election and having bought guns after the Floyd riots out of precaution. I burned a lot of my several-years-long online social circles trying fiercely to question a lot of the false narratives surrounding COVID, BLM, the election, etc. and am no longer maintaining any social media presence save for Steam.

It wasn't all bad that year, though. I re-took up vegetable gardening, which while not so successful last year due to drought-like conditions in New England all summer, I still managed to grow some things and learn a few tricks about specific plants along the way. I got to also vacay in Georgia for a week with a friend whom I was supposed to meet earlier that spring but couldn't due to COVID being new and unknown and my family freaking out about me trying to fly on airlines at the time., but got to do in the summer while Georgia's economy was not locked down. And despite getting laid off for about 9 weeks at my job and getting spotty work throughout the rest of the year, I still had a nest egg of savings that carried me through it without being paranoid about my finances.

Now, I feel more jaded and on edge than I used to be given the last 6 months of clownery in the world. Yet my veggie garden this year is _wildly exceeding _my expectations and it's not even the end of July yet! I might have found my green thumb just in time in case food disruptions or shortages become a thing in the future. Still a few skills shy of being a prepper or survivalist, though. But at least I'll only get caught with my pants partially down should some boog shit or The Great Reset/WW3/second coming of Juses Crust come to fruition.

tl/dr: I'm not fully at peace of mind, but I'm still going through sheer force of will.


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## Return of the Freaker (Jul 28, 2021)

January 1st 2020 I felt on top of the world and I just *knew* great things were coming my way that year. Lol.

Some things (i.e. work/pay) have circled back to pre-coof status quo for now at least. But part of me is still salty over some golden advancement opportunities that evaporated when DeWine locked us down.

If anything, I've gotten more cynical and angry seeing so many people roll over for bullshit and reenact the medieval church but with "science". I've also developed serious goal apathy. What's the point? Another round of lockdowns can come down from the Order of St. Fauci or they can start up anti-semitism for the goyim with coof passports and blaming vaccine reactions and breakthroughs on those dirty subhuman anti-vaxers


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## Kermit Jizz (Jul 28, 2021)

Sex Cannon Lupa said:


> I also don't believe NASA ever went to the moon. Where are the tapes then, bitch? Where are the tapes?
> 
> Forgot how, my ass.


In you have ever worked anywhere near the feds, you'd know this is actually an extremely plausible explanation. Federal jobs are basically welfare daycares for people with degrees.


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## DiscoRodeo (Jul 28, 2021)

Didn't have much faith in institutions of power to protect me,

Now that lack of faith has turned into antagonism, because I know that when push comes to shove, they won't protect me and in fact will do much to fuck me over. Really made me just want to bail on society, and go full gran camino,

and also, yeah, BLM made me less trusting of people overall and less willing to tolerate idiots. For years, didn't care about the liberal friends I had (I'm farther on the left than most of them). The riots came around and "OMG DISCO, YOURE NOT DOWN WITH THIS? YOURE A FASCIST" etc.

I'm just shocked at my willingness to be chill with people, give them the benefit of the doubt for years, etc. Shit in my head like "alright, I know you voted for Obama and don't seem to register that he's bombing middle eastern nations, but your heart is in the right place" was met with "you don't think transwomen are women? You have the wrong opinion, blocked, bigot, prick" from said same people.

I've really learnt that people who lack cognitive thinking, have a dissonance, even well meaning people, are really susceptible to cult like thinking when its pushed on them, that said cult like thinking can turn real sour, real fast, and I really need to value cynicism in people more.

It seems like I've really just lost a lot of patience with idiocy, and when the riots were going on, at some point something just went off and I accepted the whole "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" thing. People still have my sympathy, but not my patience for their idiocy. It just shifted my outlook to wanting to insulate myself from that sort of thing even more, even while wanting to try and be there to attempt to offer a helping hand, but in a glove this time because fuck going bear skinned.


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## mindlessobserver (Jul 29, 2021)

HymanHive said:


> Quoted for Truth.
> 
> Do they only know how to behave like they do on the internet, or do they prefer to behave how they do on the internet, because the dopamine hit fills them with warm fuzzy?


Algorithmic insanity. The internet and social media in particular have driven a large segment of society mad. To include our political class. Since most conservatives tend to live in rural areas without much internet connection and also tend to be busy working in fields that don't require sitting at a computer with ready internet access,, the effects are far less Pronounced on the Right as they are on the Left. 

To the people constantly plugged into the internet we live in a horrendous dystopia where cops hunt unarmed black men for sport, their are nazis and white supremacists everywhere, the earth will literally die due to climate change in a few years, and if we somehow survive all that COVID is going to kill us all. To these people, those awful right wingers seem to be either completely oblivious to how awful everything is, or more likely, are actually complicit in the horror that is daily life in this horrible country.

It would be sad and hilarious if not for how dangerous this is. These people are absolutely crazed and the consequences for those of us who don't share in their madness is going to be severe.


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## Coffee Shits (Jul 29, 2021)

I hate everybody.

I did before, too, but now I have a lot of good reasons to.


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## MrJokerRager (Jul 29, 2021)

Well the year started great and then went deeper and deeper into the jungle towards Colonel Kurtz. 

I felt like I was on the boat in Apocalypse Now, or a character from the book known as Heart of Darkesss.


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## mario if smoke weed (Jul 29, 2021)

I started out depressed as fuck, lost all my friends and became even more depressed. That's life.


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## Saint Alphonsus (Jul 29, 2021)

It changed me, but not for the better. Though I think one thing that has definitely improved is that I no longer value worldly goods as much as I used to (not that I did that much to begin with).


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## Wormy (Jul 29, 2021)

You kidding? The world pretty much gaslighted the fuck out of me that I'm...
A: A communist
B: A nazi
C: Someone who wants to see people get cobras shoved up their asses
D: A traitor to my nation
E: A pedophile 
F: A racist, of course
G: Someone who completely misremembered every court case in the 1990's.

So no, not a good year. 


MrJokerRager said:


> I felt like I was on the boat in Apocalypse Now, or a character from the book known as Heart of Darkesss.


Started out as Yossarian. Now I feel like the entire case of "The Police" (the Mroczek play)


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## Shadfan666xxx000 (Jul 30, 2021)

I got through 2020 more or less sane and fine really. My job was still up and paid extra and I was more concerned with winning over my coworker than anything else. Honestly, if my car didn't literally break and I kept up my self esteem, it would have been a great year. Even then, it still helped me to genuinely mature instead of whatever the hell everyone is going through.


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## Jonah Hill poster (Jul 30, 2021)

A year alone won’t be able to change a person. Come back and stay around in 2030, and see how well you’ve progressed as a person.


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## Shadfan666xxx000 (Jul 30, 2021)

albert chan said:


> A year alone won’t be able to change a person. Come back and stay around in 2030, and see how well you’ve progressed as a person.


I dont know about that. That year passed like a decade and still affected me from how much the lock downs forced my habits to change and from looking at the pandemonium at a distance. I'm pretty sure the average person is a much edgier person now, without getting into the average kiwi.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Jul 30, 2021)

Started the year trying to develop a more positive mindset. Maybe even become a bit more social. Yeah, that didn't happen.


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## UntimelyDhelmise (Jul 30, 2021)

Just about blackpilled me beyond hope. Was taught by my folks since childhood about End Times shit and everything I was told about is happening in real time before my eyes, all within the span of a year and a half.


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## RMQualtrough (Jul 30, 2021)

I used psychedelic drugs to alter my brain for a long period, and have become a Buddhist as a result of my experiences and reflections upon them. Through this and sober inquiry and subsequently practice of meditation, I learned self acceptance of the Avoidant Personality Disorder I am afflicted with.

I think my sense of ego is reduced although I never planned for that and could probably choose easily to be more narcissistic and mean if I wanted.

I feel very close to what I think God is. I feel close to the divine. I feel to share a fundamental connection with all people and all things.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Jul 30, 2021)

UntimelyDhelmise said:


> Just about blackpilled me beyond hope. Was taught by my folks since childhood about End Times shit and everything I was told about is happening in real time before my eyes, all within the span of a year and a half.


Haven't seen any multi headed lambs with millions of eyes. Worst end times ever.


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## The Great Chandler (Aug 3, 2021)

To be honest, I always knew the world would go through crazy phases, but that's history for you! I'm not cynical about people, but it doesn't mean I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. So just neutrally indifferent at best really. Thankfully my personal life hasn't changed all that much negatively, despite being a wagie atm.

All me crazy, but I guess I'm not anxious about things


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