# Ethan Ralph's Biggest Mistake



## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

In this thread we will argue over which of Ethan Ralph's many, many mistakes are the one mistake that he will regret for the rest of his obesity and pill shortened life, and why.

I'll begin, not by choosing "being born" , but by going with promoting Rand from caller to co-host. This destroyed any ability to claim that the killstream was simply a very open discussion forum and relegated an unemployable Ethan to the far right grift scene with progressively (heh) fewer financial support options and an audience that the powers that be are actively trying to drive off of the internet, setting us up for the impulsive desperation that fueled so many story arcs to date.

Let us know why I'm wrong and you're right, everyone!


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## The Intern (Jan 21, 2021)

Not paying Zidan, he was the Broken pillar that held it all up, when he went on his extended vacation to Chainaa (hell be back Monday guys don't worry) The whole show when to shit. 

Or, im double dipping here.

Fucking a mentally unstable teenager and impregnating her.


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## Jack Awful (Jan 21, 2021)

Taking his first sip of alcohol.


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## AutismAwareness (Jan 21, 2021)

I believe the irrefutable worst mistake of Ethan Ralph was being born.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

AutismAwareness said:


> I believe the irrefutable worst mistake of Ethan Ralph was being born.


I would say that was Ronnie's life defining mistake, Ethan didn't really have an option in that one


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## TriggerMeElmo (Jan 21, 2021)

It's his hubris. The man's ego is so inflated that it's almost laughable how he can't see the writing on the wall. He's had every opportunity to fix himself but he won't. He doesn't care about anyone other than himself. Not his mother, his disabled brother, his child bride or even his own child. He left his own father dead in a bed for two weeks before even finding out he even passed away. He's a broken, shameless piece of shit who deserves whatever kind of Hell he has created for himself.


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## UnLimiTed-Lbs (Jan 21, 2021)

Antagonizing almost everyone online.


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## part timer (Jan 21, 2021)

Not putting a baby in the first bride


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## itsoktobewhite (Jan 21, 2021)

Befriending Corey Barnhill (pedophile, liar) was definitely his biggest mistake. Literally everything went downhill from there.

It could also be argued that his biggest mistake was taking a photo with a fan on that fateful day in Nashville. The day that he decided he would not wear his pants properly (at waist level) and that he was going to wear that dope yellow shirt that may have been a bit too short.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Jan 21, 2021)

part timer said:


> Not putting a baby in the first bride


The one before Nora?


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## LordofCringe7206 (Jan 21, 2021)

We could spend a lifetime debating what was the worst decision he made and the exact moment where everything started to go wrong. The reality is that the second he had any sort of internet presence whatsoever was when the clock started ticking for his downfall.

I said in the Lowtax thread a few weeks ago that I feel no matter what decision he made the second he started Something Awful it was destined for him to go downhill. Nothing that has been exposed about who he genuinely is tells me there was going to be a happy ending for him. Even if he sold it early and became a millionaire, he would have squandered it all and still ended up where he is today.

I feel the same way about Ralph. Even if he had made a few different decisions, he was always going to wind up in despair like he currently is. When you don't have the simple foundations or mental fortitude to handle success it's never going to end well.


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## Salubrious (Jan 21, 2021)

Ralph's biggest mistake is that he can't put the shovel down and stop digging his own grave.

His second biggest mistake is his paper thin skin.  If he had just ignored Null's corn joke and moved on, he probably wouldn't have even cracked the Top 10 lolcows last year instead of winning the award.  Instead, he HAD to lash out and own the trolls.

But a caveat.  As I said in a DSP thread, you can't just say "if only lolcow had done X, he would have been successful."  If the lolcow could do X, they wouldn't be a lolcow in the first place.  It's like IRL/IP2 streamers - there can be no "good" ones because if they were good people they wouldn't be doing IRL/IP2 streams in the first place.


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## Delicious Diversity (Jan 21, 2021)

I would have to argue, assuming the claims are true, that cheating on Nora in Knoxville was his biggest mistake. She was the best woman he could hope to marry, and shortly after that trip it was clear the marriage wasn't going to last much longer. Ever since then he went from being a somewhat likable minor e-celeb in the eyes of most people to putting his foot on the gas and turning his entire life into a rapidly accelerating car crash.

He lost Nora, he lost Zidan, he lost his viewers, he lost whatever respect he had, he lost most of his income. Whatever potential he had in life is effectively dead now. I can't ever see him having a stable marriage, a steady job or a successful e-career. He will coast by on the bare minimum until he drinks himself to death.

I guess if you want to trace it back a little further you could just say going to Knoxville/associating with Andy Warski was the biggest mistake of his life. Touch the retarded phoenix, you get burned.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

Salubrious said:


> Ralph's biggest mistake is that he can't put the shovel down and stop digging his own grave.
> 
> His second biggest mistake is his paper thin skin.  If he had just ignored Null's corn joke and moved on, he probably wouldn't have even cracked the Top 10 lolcows last year instead of winning the award.  Instead, he HAD to lash out and own the trolls.
> 
> But a caveat.  As I said in a DSP thread, you can't just say "if only lolcow had done X, he would have been successful."  If the lolcow could do X, they wouldn't be a lolcow in the first place.  It's like IRL/IP2 streamers - there can be no "good" ones because if they were good people they wouldn't be doing IRL/IP2 streams in the first place.


Oh, we know Ethan is incapable of avoiding his mistakes. We're just arguing about ranking them in here


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## Jack Awful (Jan 21, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Taking his first sip of alcohol.


This isn't a joke BTW.

He seemed way happier, coherent, and more lively in the brief few streams after the pillstream where he was trying to stay sober.

We can never know for sure, but maybe he'd still be on good terms with everyone if his decision making skills weren't impaired by his drinking and drug use.


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## Takayuki Yagami (Jan 21, 2021)

That’s actually a hard question for me. Do you go with the most embarassing shit for him personally? In that case you have anything relating to booze, particularly the pillstreams and dialysis event. Do you go with mistakes for his long-term prospects as a streamer or “journalist”? On that front it’d be antagonizing us, his former fans, all his good guests like Josh or Jim, and his only compent cohost in Zidan. His biggest mistake overall will probably be knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Did we ever figure out if he did that out of spite or to augment his trad grift? Hope he enjoys dealing with CA child support or whatever comes of the revenge porn case.


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## High Tea (Jan 21, 2021)

Would have said sperm touching egg or the punching at a cop thing, but since being born wasn't a choice and he actually achieved some success after the cop incident, won't do that.  I'm going to go with losing his initial coming out of jail body and attitude.  He was healthier,  looked better (as evident from him still using the picture for things), and was humble, able to take banter, still seemed grateful for the success that was coming to him.  Also treated people better, could take some criticism.  Not sure what changed him - hubris, substances, something else.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> Did we ever figure out if he did that out of spite or to augment his trad grift?


I think it was simply "she's letting me put it in without a condom. Jackpot" with all the bravado about "imma knocking up yer daughter Matt" coming from looking around him and seeing everyone having kids they can't afford, so who gives a shit


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## Hüftpriester (Jan 21, 2021)

In ralph's mind, his biggest mistake was probably doxing his 2 incher. There was always some uncertainty around the dick pic in his OP but in attempting to dunk on halfwaycuck, he put all those doubts to rest. It's now confirmed that ethan ralph is a morbidly obese redneck with a micropenis, what a cliché. Broke dick farms, amirite? Too bad there's no way to fix a baby dick on a full grown man.


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## Terrorist (Jan 21, 2021)

Knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Internet drama comes and goes but he’ll be paying for that one for at least the next 18 years, if he lives that long.


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## Motherf*cker (Jan 21, 2021)

Yeah, knocking up a girl still in her teens and basically abandoning her for Pai and new pussy when she was barely five months in


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## Lemmingwise (Jan 21, 2021)

Meeting people IRL. It all went to shit from there. Internet is internet and IRL is IRL AND NEVER the two shall meet.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

Terrorist said:


> Knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Internet drama comes and goes but he’ll be paying for that one for at least the next 18 years, if he lives that long.


For a man with any hope of living a normal life, I would agree. Ethan, on the other hand, is already ignoring a giant pile of debt in one of the few categories that can't be discharged in bankruptcy. Obligations matter little to such a man

Vindictive Vickers appears to be making moves to adopt the demon baby, making him a much easier child support target, should it ever come to that

Finally: how exactly does a child support agency garnish an elixir?


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## Dark Edea (Jan 21, 2021)

Hurting Nora.

Never forgive. Never forget.


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## Takayuki Yagami (Jan 21, 2021)

Terrorist said:


> Knocking up a mentally ill teenager. Internet drama comes and goes but he’ll be paying for that one for at least the next 18 years, if he lives that long.


Probably more than 18 considering there’s shit on both sides of that poor kid’s family tree.  Faith has Hashimoto’s and possibly other genetic disorders on her side of the family. Ralph was born several _months_ premature and his brother is so fucked up physically (mentally too maybe?) that he’s spent most of his life in a nursing home, and gunty probably plied Faith with booze to make all of that worse.


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## Sam Losco (Jan 21, 2021)

Pending the outcome of the case next month, the sex tape. If he ends up as a registered sex offender, that's not going to be good for him. Probably not too many platforms will want to deal with the PR of allowing a registered sex offender to make money on their site.


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## AgriDrThunder (Jan 21, 2021)

Dropping out of High School, that more than anything else set him on the road of being a lazy, hedonistic, failure. Every other poor decision he's made is a result of that original mistake and the mindset he indulged while making it.


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## AltisticRight (Jan 21, 2021)

Would be Ronnie Ralph not jerking into tissue paper or investing a dollar into this thing called a condom.


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## Puck (Jan 21, 2021)

Going down the gamergate rabbit hole


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## Rend Me Asunder (Jan 21, 2021)

Ethan Ralph tried to pursue two of the least respected and least valuable jobs in existence: journalist and youtube talk show host. His greatest mistake was not realizing he would be far better off if he had just worked his way up to general manager at the local Dairy Queen.


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## Chief Ungo Bungo (Jan 21, 2021)

His greatest mistake was letting the JCAESAR account leak, it undermined a lot of the support he had from the far right (a large part of his audience)  and it started his downfall because people saw how thin his skin really was. T


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## TriggerMeElmo (Jan 21, 2021)

Delicious Diversity said:


> I would have to argue, assuming the claims are true, that cheating on Nora in Knoxville was his biggest mistake. She was the best woman he could hope to marry, and shortly after that trip it was clear the marriage wasn't going to last much longer. Ever since then he went from being a somewhat likable minor e-celeb in the eyes of most people to putting his foot on the gas and turning his entire life into a rapidly accelerating car crash.
> 
> He lost Nora, he lost Zidan, he lost his viewers, he lost whatever respect he had, he lost most of his income. Whatever potential he had in life is effectively dead now. I can't ever see him having a stable marriage, a steady job or a successful e-career. He will coast by on the bare minimum until he drinks himself to death.
> 
> I guess if you want to trace it back a little further you could just say going to Knoxville/associating with Andy Warski was the biggest mistake of his life. Touch the retarded phoenix, you get burned.


This exceptional individual had an easy out with Nora. She was going to med school and would have bailed his ass out of a number of financial woes but he wanted to go the route of wanting pussy over financial gain in the long term. And that was the moment he knew he fucked up.


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## High Tea (Jan 21, 2021)

Chief Ungo Bungo said:


> His greatest mistake was letting the JCAESAR account leak, it undermined a lot of the support he had from the far right (a large part of his audience)  and it started his downfall because people saw how thin his skin really was. T


Think that was already shot when they found out Nora was Pakistani.  Always thought the far right saw Ralph as a useful idiot rather than a believer.  Even when the Killstream first started blowing up, if you actually listened to what Ralph's 'principles' were, they weren't right wing.  Just wanted entertainment, pol memes and free stuff.  He was a platform - nothing more.  If people actually saw him as a savior, then I pity them.


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## FM Bradley (Jan 21, 2021)

I can't decide between them all but I see this thread going places.


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## Insane In The Membrane (Jan 21, 2021)

I got a whole list:


Getting drunk and assaulting a police officer
Dedicating his podcast to interviewing neo-nazis and Holocaust deniers and getting deplatformed from every major site
Getting drunk and recording himself fapping to a 14 year old girl
Divorcing Nora
Abducting an 18 year old methhead, releasing their own sex tape and strangling her for not wanting to be in a threesome with Digibro's pedophile ex
The Pillstream
Going to Trump rallies in the middle of a pandemic and flaunting his Gunt
I do wonder if he WAS able to go to DC, would he have joined in on the insurrection or would he be too out of shape to get to the entrance?


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## Superman93 (Jan 21, 2021)

Dark Edea said:


> Hurting Nora.
> 
> Never forgive. Never forget.


Honestly she deserves better. Just the sheer amount of embarrassment she went through because of her husbands retarded antics and she still stayed loyal to him.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

Insane In The Membrane said:


> I got a whole list:
> 
> 
> Getting drunk and assaulting a police officer
> ...


I can see a case being made for all of this, but which one was the BIGGEST mistake, and why? Given Ethan's life, he's going to give us no shortage of BIG MISTAKES to scientifically compare to each other


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## Insane In The Membrane (Jan 21, 2021)

The BIGGEST would definitely becoming an alcoholic. Every dumb thing Ralph has done has been liquor-induced.


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## Hambubger (Jan 21, 2021)

Ralph was brought down by his ego. I guarantee if someone messages Ralph that he can't get any pussy Ralph will go out, get a hooker fucker on camera and post it


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## b0o0pinsn0o0tz (Jan 21, 2021)

Refusing to own up to his massive substance abuse problem. This stretches over a long enough period of time it could be considered multiple mistakes though.


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## instythot (Jan 21, 2021)

b0o0pinsn0o0tz said:


> Refusing to own up to his massive substance abuse problem. This stretches over a long enough period of time it could be considered multiple mistakes though.


Hey now, barely legal women without enough life experience to run from a fat e-retard aren't a substance!


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## Wilhelm Bittrich (Jan 21, 2021)

Arrogantly thinking that he could make it as "YouTube personality" while being barley literate and borderline unable to form a coherent sentence even when sober.


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## naught sock account 1 (Jan 21, 2021)

shilling his shite podcast over 8chan..


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## MeltyTW (Jan 21, 2021)

death of chans said:


> shilling his shite podcast over 8chan..


Well tbf he gained a ton of dedicated viewers and many many many restreams and forums dedicated just to him.


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## naught sock account 1 (Jan 21, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> Well tbf he gained a ton of dedicated viewers and many many many restreams and forums dedicated just to him.


double edged sword and such..


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## MeltyTW (Jan 21, 2021)

death of chans said:


> double edged sword and such..


All I know is people told him not to shill, the ralphmale did it his way and now the whole fucking place is named after him


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## Neil (Jan 22, 2021)

Insane In The Membrane said:


> Getting drunk and recording himself fapping to a 14 year old girl


Hold up, when was this?


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## PhoBingas (Jan 22, 2021)

NeilBreenLover69 said:


> Hold up, when was this?


Used to have it bookmarked in the main thread.

He streamed himself one night around pillstream 1 on Soph's youtube channel, pulling up random vids, pausing and breathing heavy. His own stream thought he might have been hacked and thought about calling a wellness check on him because it was so out of the ordinary.

*Edit.

Found @zyclonPD 's original post Here
He also went on to stream cuphead very, very poorly after


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## Neil (Jan 22, 2021)

PhoBingas said:


> Used to have it bookmarked in the main thread.
> 
> He streamed himself one night around pillstream 1 on Soph's youtube channel, pulling up random vids, pausing and breathing heavy. His own stream thought he might have been hacked and thought about calling a wellness check on him because it was so out of the ordinary.
> 
> ...


Damn. Wow. Fucking vile.


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## Inquisitor_BadAss (Jan 22, 2021)

Starting the Ralph Retort because it was all down hill for the boy since then.


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## Adolf Hitler (Jan 22, 2021)

Ideally he should have never been born at all.


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## TherapyMan (Jan 22, 2021)

I would argue that the worst mistake has to be one where it created a point of no return for Ralph. Dumb decisions like fucking up his relationship with Nora, starting the Ralph Retort, and having a substance abuse problem were all things that Ralph could recover from, if he wanted to. Two mistakes come to mind to have irreparably fucked Ralph's life:

1. Taking that swing at the policewoman. Having a felony conviction in addition to his heavy online presence essentially means that Ralph can never return to ordinary employment. He's dependent on the existence of the Killstream and his online brand to keep him alive. 

2. Impregnating Faith. Everything he did surrounding Faith and the Mr. Vickers saga was deeply embarrassing, but ultimately just that: embarrassing. Leaving behind a child for no other reason than you wanted to raw-dog a mentally unstable eighteen year old and saddling yourself with eighteen years of child support payments is something he just can't come back from. The Vickers' demon spawn cannot be undone, and likely will be his genetic legacy that survives him on this terrible, terrible planet. 

I also agree with the posters that suggest that Ralph being born was a mistake, but that's Ronnie's fault.


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## Andy Bandy Man (Jan 22, 2021)

Sad how you can't really recover from a felony.
I feel rly rly rly bad for the child.


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## Trig.Point (Jan 22, 2021)

The Intern said:


> Not paying Zidan, he was the Broken pillar that held it all up, when he went on his extended vacation to Chainaa (hell be back Monday guys don't worry) The whole show when to shit.
> 
> Or, im double dipping here.
> 
> Fucking a mentally unstable teenager and impregnating her.


People forget that Bouldergate was all down to Zidan, who didn't utter a word for nearly an hour untill he demanded Jarbo produce his flagging history. He even sent him a link so he had no excuse.

All the big name guests Metokur, Dick etc respected Zidan, and seemed happy to let him act as producer. In the end though he didn't need the Killstream, and Ralph didn't have the same hold over him like he did with Flamenco and Gator. I don't even think it was about money, it was just the lack of respect of demanding someones time and then turning up drunk or high.



instythot said:


> I'll begin, not by choosing "being born" , but by going with promoting Rand from caller to co-host. This destroyed any ability to claim that the killstream was simply a very open discussion forum and relegated an unemployable Ethan to the far right grift scene with progressively (heh) fewer financial support options and an audience that the powers that be are actively trying to drive off of the internet, setting us up for the impulsive desperation that fueled so many story arcs to date.


It wasn't Rand it was Ralph. If you watch Flamenco's stream with Null, Geno Samuel and Rand, you can see that Rand could be tard wrangled when people actually did the work.

This was just as Geno Samuel was starting his series on Chris Chan, so Flamenco invited him on along with Null, and for whatever reason Randbot.

Randbot is genuinely really good, the show has a very slow start, but eventually Null and Rand get Geno talking and it really takes of.

It would take 5 fucking minutes before a show, to talk to Rand and check if he's been drinking. The Gunt is either too fucking lazy or too drunk himself to do it.


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## Ol' Slag (Jan 22, 2021)

Not going to rehab.

Honestly, Ralph could still turn the plane around and not collide into the mountain right in front of him.

It would save his show, save him money and probably add years to his life.


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## instythot (Jan 22, 2021)

Trig.Point said:


> People forget that Bouldergate was all down to Zidan, who didn't utter a word for nearly an hour untill he demanded Jarbo produce his flagging history. He even sent him a link so he had no excuse.
> 
> All the big name guests Metokur, Dick etc respected Zidan, and seemed happy to let him act as producer. In the end though he didn't need the Killstream, and Ralph didn't have the same hold over him like he did with Flamenco and Gator. I don't even think it was about money, it was just the lack of respect of demanding someones time and then turning up drunk or high.
> 
> ...


Josh spoke with Zidan and got the answer. He decided he could either be a successful IRL guy or a successful streamer and chose wisely. It didn't have as much to do with Ralph or his alcoholism as we usually assume

Rand's performance as a host isn't what I was getting at. You can air his views as a caller and successfully claim "we're just a neutral platform where anyone can express anything." Adding him officially to the show as a host does, in fact, co-sign everything the man says unless you go out of your way to refute all of his /pol/ talking points every time he makes them. "Hey Rand, don't say the n-word on air" doesn't challenge 99% of the content of what he says, and nobody was willing to do more than that.

And c'mon man, you picked like the one time Rand showed up to stream sober


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## SouthernFox1968 (Jan 22, 2021)

Ralph's biggest mistake was getting into Internet Blood Sports to begin with. IBS, for all it's success, was always going to be a fad. It was something that could bring in money for a while, but nothing that you could do long-term. IBS relied on shock value, so when it faded into the sunset, the main IBS personalities had to do more and more shocking things to keep their relevance. Ralph included. The fact that the main IBS personalities were really stupid to begin with, only played into their downfall. There is a reason why most of the IBS personalities quickly became lolcows, and remain lolcows long after IBS died.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Jan 22, 2021)

SouthernFox1968 said:


> Ralph's biggest mistake was getting into Internet Blood Sports to begin with. IBS, for all it's success, was always going to be a fad. It was something that could bring in money for a while, but nothing that you could do long-term. IBS relied on shock value, so when it faded into the sunset, the main IBS personalities had to do more and more shocking things to keep their relevance. Ralph included. The fact that the main IBS personalities were really stupid to begin with, only played into their downfall. There is a reason why most of the IBS personalities quickly became lolcows, and remain lolcows long after IBS died.


I mostly agree. There's a reason why these clowns decided that IRL streaming was the next venture. And look at where that got Baked Alaska. At this point Ralph is basically begging for a jail sentence.


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## Mr. Manchester (Jan 22, 2021)

TherapyMan said:


> I would argue that the worst mistake has to be one where it created a point of no return for Ralph. Dumb decisions like fucking up his relationship with Nora, starting the Ralph Retort, and having a substance abuse problem were all things that Ralph could recover from, if he wanted to. Two mistakes come to mind to have irreparably fucked Ralph's life:
> 
> 1. Taking that swing at the policewoman. Having a felony conviction in addition to his heavy online presence essentially means that Ralph can never return to ordinary employment. He's dependent on the existence of the Killstream and his online brand to keep him alive.
> 
> ...


Ralph can't _"return_ to ordinary employment" because he's never had a job.

Also his biggest mistake was indeed knocking up Faith.


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## World Star (Jan 22, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Taking his first sip of alcohol.


Honestly can any of us truely say that any mistake Ralph has made wasn't made whiles he was under the influnce.

Ralph puts on boring shit shows due to the bottle.
Ralph lost his freedom and condemned himself as feleon due to the bottle.
Ralph lost Nora to the bottle.
Ralph has a gunt due to the bottle.
Ralph had the pillstreams due to the bottle.
Ralph posted the sex tape due to the bottle.
Ralph assaulted his child bride due to the bottle.
Ralph can't aquire an income that doesn't involve grifting all due to bottle.

I struggle to imagine a single major mistake that Ralph has made that can't be all traced back to alcohol and his alcoholism.


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## Ethan Ralphs Micro Penis (Jan 22, 2021)

Ralph has some things in common with Jorge from 90 Day Fiance, mainly both being fat losers who ended up in jail and lost weight. For those who don't follow the show/clips, Jorge is younger than Ralph and was gaining on Ralph's gunt in size. Before going to jail (for marijuana dealing), he had a wife who blatantly disrespected him in public and they were often featured on the show to showcase how much of a simp Jorge was.

Fast forward to jail. Ralph had a support network of at least Nora and Ade. Jorge's wife cheated on him and initiated a divorce while he was in the clink. Both lost weight.

After getting out of jail, Jorge's largely kept off social media except for an occasional Instagram post. He's kept the weight off, has a hot girlfriend, and is expecting a kid. He doesn't even check in with 90 Day Fiance, the show that gave him his following, because the show is a circus of retards.

The first thing Ralph does out of jail is get back online. He's now fatter than he was pre-jail, spurned Nora because of Killstream antics like "smash-or-pass" and the repercussions she could face in her career being tied to the Healstream. I won't even list the shit he's done since because we all know that story.

Everything Ralph had going for him before and during jail is gone. His "career" is tied to his internet presence which is already on the cliff of the internet and will be pushed off in the next four years.

For Jorge, jail was his low point and turned into the beginning of the rest of his life. Ralph had the same thing going for him, but his actions since getting out have effectively turned Ralph's time in jail to a timeout.


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## SargonF00t (Jan 22, 2021)

It is almost impossible to pick Ralph's worst mistake, because there have been so fucking many of them and some mistakes clearly resulted in even bigger mistakes down the road.

So do you try and pick the mistake that may have set in motion an avalanche of shit, or the avalanche itself?

But regardless, I don't see how anyone could think that if Ralph had only just avoided one thing, his life would have been so much better, at least up to now.

Going forward, clearly getting Faith pregnant will be the biggest single mistake that one can clearly point to.


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## Chief Ungo Bungo (Jan 22, 2021)

Trig.Point said:


> It would take 5 fucking minutes before a show, to talk to Rand and check if he's been drinking. The Gunt is either too fucking lazy or too drunk himself to do it.


The problem is that the Gunt's a Cunt and wants Rand to be a shit host because:
-It makes Ralph feel better about his own shitty hosting
-It allows him to try and push any stream related fucks ups on to Rand because he's drunk
-Gunt wants him to be drunk so he can try and make him say or do retarded or shitty things for leverage


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## Mr. Manchester (Jan 22, 2021)

Chief Ungo Bungo said:


> The problem is that the Gunt's a Cunt and wants Rand to be a shit host because:
> -It makes Ralph feel better about his own shitty hosting
> -It allows him to try and push any stream related fucks ups on to Rand because he's drunk
> -Gunt wants him to be drunk so he can try and make him say or do retarded or shitty things for leverage


The beauty of it is that all of these things are true, and because of this only shows how fucking dumb Ralph is.  Rand is a tactical nuke to any show he goes on.  If somehow by some weird miracle Randbot got on Steven Colbert or something he'd manage to get his show canceled and have Colbert hanged by the lefties that love him, simply by being a smug aussie who loves the n-word.  Good old Ralph keeps him around though.


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## MightyBiteySnake (Jan 22, 2021)

Waking up in the morning


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## instythot (Jan 22, 2021)

Mr. Manchester said:


> The beauty of it is that all of these things are true, and because of this only shows how fucking dumb Ralph is.  Rand is a tactical nuke to any show he goes on.  If somehow by some weird miracle Randbot got on Steven Colbert or something he'd manage to get his show canceled and have Colbert hanged by the lefties that love him, simply by being a smug aussie who loves the n-word.  Good old Ralph keeps him around though.


I honestly think you can get away unscathed with Rand as a guest, because you can always play it like a freakshow and pull the "well, he's never coming back" card out of the deck if people aren't buying the freakshow angle. Putting him on staff is where Rand fuck things up for people who aren't him


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## FM Bradley (Jan 22, 2021)

MightyBiteySnake said:


> Waking up in the morning


I'm sure the sleep apnea, or a John Bonham/Bon Scott-type death via vomit inhalation, will take care of that soon enough.

(edit: If anyone can suggest a more contemporary musician whose choked on their vomit, I'll change that...get off my lawn)


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## Andy Bandy Man (Jan 22, 2021)

Ol' Slag said:


> Not going to rehab.
> 
> Honestly, Ralph could still turn the plane around and not collide into the mountain right in front of him.
> 
> It would save his show, save him money and probably add years to his life.


Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?


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## FM Bradley (Jan 22, 2021)

Andy Bandy Man said:


> Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
> Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?



It would be another time out. It's success would depend on whether he takes it seriously. You go through outpatient rehab for DUI's. It can be taken seriously and, at the worst, at least facilitate a break. Or you can cheat your way through it like a true Ralphamale MEMPHIS TEEEEENNNNN.  Either way we both know how the Gunt handled THAT when he got busted years ago.


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## Lemmingwise (Jan 22, 2021)

instythot said:


> I honestly think you can get away unscathed with Rand as a guest, because you can always play it like a freakshow and pull the "well, he's never coming back" card out of the deck if people aren't buying the freakshow angle. Putting him on staff is where Rand fuck things up for people who aren't him


It was fun as a guest because he wouldn't be on very long. Having hin kicked was the bright side of any stream he was on. But his spastics could be funny for a bit and at least he's high energy.


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## Ol' Slag (Jan 22, 2021)

Andy Bandy Man said:


> Is there hope it can still be court ordered?
> Is that how these kinda things work? Or is that just a 90s sitcom thing I think is real?



It is easy to cheat. Years ago at a job site I worked we had a guy go around and ask us to sign his slip stating we were in the AA meeting with him.

The usually don't test you for booze randomly unless you fuck up royally. The worst they do if it's your first or second offense is put a breathalyzer in your car (which you have to rent and pay a monthly rental fee), and can order counseling. They can't make you go to rehab.

They also do offer the option in some cases if you are trying to avoid jail time. Your lawyer tells the judge so and so is going into rehab, the judge might not be so harsh if you prove you actually are going.

EDIT: I knew people who were on thier sixth dui, in jail and still fighting to keep their license. All that matters is if you have a good enough lawyer.


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## 737 MAX Stan Account (Jan 22, 2021)

Making Internet Friends


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## #KillAllPedos (Jan 24, 2021)

Ralph’s biggest mistake was deciding to broadcast his mistakes on the internet. He’s already predisposed to making poor choices, but it is exacerbated by having an audience of people to laugh at those choices and further antagonize him.


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## Insanely Retarded (Jan 24, 2021)

It could be: 

-Dropping out of school which left him without many necessary social skills to get through life. This contributed to >
-Not working a day in his life which leads into >
-Deciding he would be an online personality >
-Deciding to court the alt-right for monetary gain >
-Deciding to make his show 100% about politics and cut out "drama" >
-Not responding to the WSJ reporter like JF did to save his own ass because he thought he was too big to fail on YT >
-Doing a "charity" stream to stick it to Sargon and prove he had a bigger audience (lol) all while knowing the WSJ was watching >
-Taking over a small platform/being a big shot on stream.me getting people banned and doxed +
-Attending Knoxville exposing how weak he really is to the world >
-Not being able to accept defeat and stop antagonizing anonymous message boards on the internet 

You could keep going but in reality I think his biggest mistake is either: 

Not taking advantage of his second chance at life after jail. He had a wife that pushed him to be better, was in relatively good shape and was clean. He could have used it as a wake up call but instead he went right back and continued where he left off before jail.

Or:

Thinking he could use Andy Warski to siphon off his 300k subscriber audience and exposure from his successful (at the time) show. 
His relationship to Warski has brought him nothing but bad things, unwanted attention from the MSM, Knoxville, Miami, the last time Nora visited was (I think) when Warski lived there and they got into a huge fight because drunk Ralph thought Warski was stealing Nora from him. 
I know Ralph has made many big mistakes, but 'befriending' Andy just to benefit from his audience is up there. These two idiots have been complete and absolute poison in each other's lives but they keep coming back always for the same reason, to build back their audience after a spectacular failure.


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## Steve Blackman (Jan 24, 2021)

Treating Dax as a role model

Kinda surprised I haven't heard this yet but I guess there's not as many former Dickheads as autistic as me but so much of his choices are based on advice Dax has given on the Dick Show and elsewhere


In general just prioritizing getting laid and making money in your life. Dax said to an autist who called in that his dad taught him only to value money, joking(?) that if your question wasn't about money he wouldn't understand it. Also of course he spends a big chunk of his time trying to get laid, even now that he's in his 40s. It's only when pressed that he even teases the idea of marrying and having kids with his longtime girlfriend.
Dax absolutely does not believe in rehab. When the maddox drama started and people speculated it was about him going to rehab and he proudly said he would never go to rehab.
being 100% okay with alcoholism. We probably remember on that one PPP stream he justified giving Ralph alcohol simply by saying "he's an alcoholic that's what they need" and not accepting it as enabling behavior. That's just one example as being an alcoholic is something he either takes totally in stride or is downright proud of.
I may be wrong on this one because I'm not 100% caught up on guntlore but going on camera was appearntly Dax's idea. I'm not joking when I say the killstream would have more viewers if they still had the old display and we didn't have to see ralph's gunt textured face on screen.
EDIT- pure speculation but given the shit that went on with Jamie Lynn Hughes I wouldn't be surprised if "push for a threesome" was another brilliant idea from Dax.
and that's just the shit I can remember off the top of my head. pre dax he could have fixed himself but his favorite e celeb is giving him the worst advice he could get.


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## instythot (Jan 24, 2021)

Insanely Retarded said:


> It could be:
> 
> -Dropping out of school which left him without many necessary social skills to get through life. This contributed to >
> -Not working a day in his life which leads into >
> ...


Further to "charity" stream and courting the alt right, I'm a bit surprised nobody has mentioned striking up an e-friendship with Mark Collett


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## The Jokester (Jan 24, 2021)

Nobody's stating the obvious 

His biggest mistake was NEVER GETTING A JOB. Look, Ralph is a retarded redneck and as a retarded redneck myself the best thing anyone can do is to get a job where you're working with other human beings. That daily interaction with others really helps to reinforce on how we act with other people. Alot of the time that first job teaches someone how to be professional and how to get along working coworkers and what is expected of us as functioning adults. Even a bottom of the barrel job like working retail is so important for young adults to develop the skills need to conduct themselves in a civil matter.


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## Steve Blackman (Jan 24, 2021)

The Jokester said:


> Nobody's stating the obvious
> 
> His biggest mistake was NEVER GETTING A JOB. Look, Ralph is a retarded redneck and as a retarded redneck myself the best thing anyone can do is to get a job where you're working with other human beings. That daily interaction with others really helps to reinforce on how we act with other people. Alot of the time that first job teaches someone how to be professional and how to get along working coworkers and what is expected of us as functioning adults. Even a bottom of the barrel job like working retail is so important for young adults to develop the skills need to conduct themselves in a civil matter.


You know what yes. this is the correct answer. It's hard to say without sounding like a boomer but at some point you have to have some responsibility. Ralph larps as an alpha but alpha's can make their own fucking money.

Even other people in this sphere had real jobs before. Think what you will about them but two big ones were actually people pre internet; Rackets survived bank work and a (frankly shitty) law practice. For all his faults Dax legitimately has a successful company and was a working engineer before that. If anything that's what can enable Dax's terrible decisions. He had already been successful before the Dick Show so he could get away with his alcoholism and degeneracy. They have an out if this all collapses.

Ralph? When he literally cannot live off the Killstream anymore he has to his name a dead website and a trailer home whenever the mother he neglected dies.

Oh and a kid and baby mama who can ask the court for some fucking money pretty easily.

Man if I had this looking down me like the barrel of a gun I'd drink all day too.


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## The Jokester (Jan 24, 2021)

Steve Blackman said:


> You know what yes. this is the correct answer. It's hard to say without sounding like a boomer but at some point you have to have some responsibility. Ralph larps as an alpha but alpha's can make their own fucking money.
> 
> Even other people in this sphere had real jobs before. Think what you will about them but two big ones were actually people pre internet; Rackets survived bank work and a (frankly shitty) law practice. For all his faults Dax legitimately has a successful company and was a working engineer before that. If anything that's what can enable Dax's terrible decisions. He had already been successful before the Dick Show so he could get away with his alcoholism and degeneracy. They have an out if this all collapses.
> 
> ...


I just say this because I've noticed that ALOT of lolcows don't have jobs. Sure plenty of lolcows have had jobs before. Hell even the OG Chris Chan had a small time job at Wendy's. But lolcows have this underlining trait of not being in employment. Cows from Jim Sterling, Jahans, Amberlynn, Chantel, Shawty, ACD, Nick Bates, Anisa, Momo, Mumkey, and so on make their money from the internet and do not see people in a professional context on a daily basis. We have people who should/could of been lolcows like PPP who do work and manage themselves as functioning adults in the real world. Ralph is a massive example of the long list of examples from the first. I think after a time, that lack of professionalism and interaction with people who are not kissing your ass really drives a cow's narcissism and inability of basic understanding of what's not acceptable 

My theory is the longer a cow is out of a physical job, the worse they become


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## instythot (Jan 24, 2021)

The Jokester said:


> I just say this because I've noticed that ALOT of lolcows don't have jobs. Sure plenty of lolcows have had jobs before. Hell even the OG Chris Chan had a small time job at Wendy's. But lolcows have this underlining trait of not being in employment. Cows from Jim Sterling, Jahans, Amberlynn, Chantel, Shawty, ACD, Nick Bates, Anisa, Momo, Mumkey, and so on make their money from the internet and do not see people in a professional context on a daily basis. We have people who should/could of been lolcows like PPP who do work and manage themselves as functioning adults in the real world. Ralph is a massive example of the long list of examples from the first. I think after a time, that lack of professionalism and interaction with people who are not kissing your ass really drives a cow's narcissism and inability of basic understanding of what's not acceptable
> 
> My theory is the longer a cow is out of a physical job, the worse they become


The other side of the theory is that a job simply eats up time that lolcows could be doing weird shit for us to laugh at, and they remain just as weird with their remaining hours - they just become less prolific and we're most familiar with the unemployed ones because they have unlimited time to be lunatics online


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## The Jokester (Jan 24, 2021)

instythot said:


> The other side of the theory is that a job simply eats up time that lolcows could be doing weird shit for us to laugh at, and they remain just as weird with their remaining hours - they just become less prolific and we're most familiar with the unemployed ones because they have unlimited time to be lunatics online


This is also true

I think it comes down to both. But I think that a lolcow will make time to be a lolcow even if they are at work shitposting in the toilets 

But I do think that daily human interaction with normal IRL people keeps them at only a mild cow


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## Bixnood (Jan 24, 2021)

Dressing all slutty as an 8 year old boy and tempting his dad to molest him.

but in all seriousness, it was the going to hard while on youtube and getting perma banned. that was the start of the downward spiral.

his biggest flaw how ever is his complete inability to admit when he was wrong and repair bridges.


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## Bosmadden (Jan 25, 2021)

Bixnood said:


> Dressing all slutty as an 8 year old boy and tempting his dad to molest him.
> 
> but in all seriousness, it was the going to hard while on youtube and getting perma banned. that was the start of the downward spiral.
> 
> his biggest flaw how ever is his complete inability to admit when he was wrong and repair bridges.


Yeah this.

He would probably have ended up banned anyway, but letting no shit Nazis on your show to crack jokes about holocoasters while supposedly raising money for a children;s hospital, on a website owned and run by Jews, was epic level retarded. On a website he was making tens of thousands of dollars from no less.

He should have concentrated on the e-celeb drama bullshit and left the politics out. His greatest moment was the Boulderstream, zero politics, just plenty of shitting on a fat loser, which is never not funny.

Now he's ended up as an even more pathetic (and fatter) version of Matt, who at least has the Uber Eats gig to fall back on.


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