# The Ethan Ralph Report by Michael Alberto



## Pit Viper Salesman (Sep 28, 2022)

In the recent weeks, Ethan Ralph has speedrun his ability to test Nick Fuentes patience. Between exposing Cozy's neck to court for piles of DMCA strikes after antagonizing Red Pill Gaming to the point discovering how to files DMCA claims with the government against Cozy, backing Big Tech while he destroys the relationship between Nick and Destiny, shitting on the Jews who are financial backers, and proclaiming himself the biggest thing on the platform, Ethan Ralph may have finally pushed his luck too far.




Fuentes has issued a report be made by Michael Alberto to finally explain to him why everyone hates Ethan Ralph. While this seems innocuous at first, what could easily be happening is that Nick is looking for a third party to give him an excuse to act surprised and finally cut him loose.





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Being that this is literally the inherent purpose of Kiwi Farms and its archival enthusiasts. I believe a thread of everything worthy of being in this report be placed here. There should be no excuse as to this report be missing anything.

Here is a solid start:


Layne Davis cover-up
Violence against 2 partners
Felony assault against an officer
Proven regular drug use
The doxing of his own donors
The doxing of his entire Killstream.tv user base with no refunds.
Releasing private correspondence with various entities (Julian from Odysee)
Secret recordings of various co-hosts for blackmail and life ruination
Destruction of multiple streaming platforms
Numerous attacks on peoples families
Refusal of care for his son
Big Tech
Flagging / Striking his enemies while knowing doing so with no real basis
Releasing revenge pornography of his son's mother and then plans ways to isolate and manipulate her in order to avoid a charge.
Place your evidence here.


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## TV's Adam West (Sep 28, 2022)

Ralph is fat and I would not have sex with him.


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## Gunty King (Sep 28, 2022)

The flagging part would be viewed as a positive by the Groypers, you'd best leave that one out.  And since crime and abusing women is also based according to Nick, #2, #3, #4, and maybe #14 also need to go.


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Sep 28, 2022)

Gunty King said:


> The flagging part would be viewed as a positive by the Groypers, you'd best leave that one out.  And since crime and abusing women is also based according to Nick, #2, #3, #4, and maybe #14 also need to go.


Crime is only based when its against their enemies. It becomes relevant when proving Ralph will even destroy those he calls friends and allies. Nick doesn't like that at all.


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## MirnaMinkoff (Sep 28, 2022)

He will demonstrate his pathological lying and boasting when confronted with any list of his degenerate disgusting behavior. 

Guess Nick has decided this is the only way to milk something out of association with ER - turn on the cozy milking machine. He was hoping KF would stay down long enough to prosper as a Gunt farmer, but alas, the KF big dairy machine is back


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## Haru Okumura (Sep 28, 2022)

Actively associating with and, in some cases, outright _working_ with known pedophiles.  I'll edit in proof images once the site is more stable.

-Dylan "Chaggot" Volk raped a 13-year-old girl when he was 18 and admits this.  This greatly disturbed even Baked Alaska, who pressed him on it in person.
-Max "MrGirl" Karson is a known pedophile that openly professes admiration for the young girls in 'Cuties', describing them as sexually attractive, and has written a song about being a pedophile
-Vito Gesualdi got in a heated discussion about "non-offending" pedophiles and slipped up and referred to such individuals with the pronoun "we", thus outing himself as a pedophile
-Andrew Anglin is also an open pedophile that argues in favor of consummating child marriages with preteen girls

Dylan Volk is both the most extreme and the most salient example because Ethan works closely with him and _continues_ to invite him to IRL events even now despite him being an actual unrepentant child rapist.


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## GayestFurryTrash (Sep 28, 2022)

I don't actually hate Ralph but he is a massive fucking joke. He threw away any and all redeeming qualities years ago and the more one learns about him the worse he looks. Honestly most of why I follow him AF and Nick won't care about because I like him as a cow because he's an immature manchild with the mental faculties of a 16 year old but he has access to drugs and alcohol. And he still somehow thinks he can fight dispite putting up less of a fight then even Warski.

Generally he's disliked because he's a two faced piece of shit. He turns on a dime on his friends/allies with no hesitation or shame. He has no morals and no code beyond continuing his own grift. He can and will throw Nick and AF under the bus as soon as it is beneficial for him to do so as he has done with literally everyone else he's ever associated with. As Haru mentioned he associates with known pedophiles and even knocked one up in the form of his forever girlfriend horse. He also really wants to eat out Keffals' stinkditch something fierce and has already stated he will throw AF under the bus if it can take down the Farms somehow so, yeah.

Basically Nick should realize 'Wow, what an ally.' when looking at Ralph and if he doesn't he deserves what he will get.


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## Gina Gillotti (Sep 28, 2022)

Wait, are you hopping in bed with Fuentes now, @Christorian X @Pit Viper Salesman? And some actual brony with weird physiognomy? The fuck? How is someone saying he is "authorized by Nick Fuentes" to do anything worthy of anything but mockery? Was sinking to the depths of sweeping it up for @Flamenco not enough? What the fuck gay bullshit is this in service of your weird ass monomaniacal hate boner? I can't wait for when Ralph doxes you and we find out what skeletons are in _your _closet.


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## Spergichu (Sep 28, 2022)

> I have been authorized by Nick Fuentes


God, do any of you faggots have even a little bit of agency in your own life? "My catboy daddy gave me permission to make fun of Ralph." Jesus Christ that's pathetic. Grow a fucking spine and do what you want online.


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Sep 29, 2022)

Gina Gillotti said:


> Wait, are you hopping in bed with Fuentes now, @Christorian X @Pit Viper Salesman? And some actual brony with weird physiognomy? The fuck? How is someone saying he is "authorized by Nick Fuentes" to do anything worthy of anything but mockery? Was sinking to the depths of sweeping it up for @Flamenco not enough? What the fuck gay bullshit is this in service of your weird ass monomaniacal hate boner? I can't wait for when Ralph doxes you and we find out what skeletons are in _your _closet.


Its funny you think I have any connection to that clout chasing asshole but you do you.


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## Keranu (Sep 29, 2022)

Don't forget using his mom for 35 years, making her walk in heat to dialysis and telling her to eat a cock, before finally moving out of the house to leave her to die.

Not to mention refusing the jab to visit her in the hospital.


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## Gina Gillotti (Sep 29, 2022)

Pit Viper Salesman said:


> Its funny you think I have any connection to that clout chasing asshole but you do you.


If you aren't him, you're acting like it, and I've been misinformed, jury's still out then IMO, but most of my questions still stand. You appear to be taking seriously a zoomer who takes Nick Fuentes seriously to try to score some kind of W on the Gunt...cringe to the third power at this point. So my question remains: the fuck?


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Sep 29, 2022)

Gina Gillotti said:


> If you aren't him, you're acting like it, and I've been misinformed, jury's still out then IMO, but most of my questions still stand. You appear to be taking seriously a zoomer who takes Nick Fuentes seriously to try to score some kind of W on the Gunt...cringe to the third power at this point. So my question remains: the fuck?


You're terribly misinformed, I've said more than once CX is, was, wherever the fuck he is, is a faggot. Full stop. As for Fuentes / Alberto, they're a total joke. It's just useful to have his provable rap sheet in one place with the added bonus of adding a bit of satire while doing it. Sorry if it went over your head.


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## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Sep 29, 2022)

Another thing to not forget about is Alice alleging Ralph got her blackout drunk then used er mouth after she'd already said she didn't want to give Ralph a blowjob.


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## AltisticRight (Sep 29, 2022)

Many.
Aside from the myriad of paedophilic simpery elucidated by Haru above, here's a short yet extensive list.

- Societal menace, he drives like scum and puts innocent lives at risk.
- Christian behaviour, being the deadest of deadbeat fathers on the sektur, a bigger deadbeat than BigTech.
- Twitter addiction, just like Lucas Roberts.
- Parasite, every platform he uses collapses from within.
- Judas, he is a pathological backstabbing fiend.
- Felon, hide your woman and kids around this pig.
- Shameless grifter, Gator had to intervene amid the killstream.tv abortion.
- Nasty son, at least Sandra can take trains to dialysis in Hell.
- Blue lives disrespector, punches female cop trying to help him.
- Misogynist, self-explanatory.
- Tranny pronoun respector, kys Ethan. 
- Leftist, Obama voter, against the second amendment.


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## Near (Sep 29, 2022)

He ripped ass on stream. That's the kill shot right there.


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## Farglemark (Sep 29, 2022)

Gina Gillotti said:


> If you aren't him, you're acting like it, and I've been misinformed, jury's still out then IMO, but most of my questions still stand. You appear to be taking seriously a zoomer who takes Nick Fuentes seriously to try to score some kind of W on the Gunt...cringe to the third power at this point. So my question remains: the fuck?


How can you not see how funny it would be to force Ralph to stand behind a hit piece that mocks him? Or the inevitable war it would create if it was done? If there's a chance at that it's worth it.

You new at this?


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## ConSluttant (Sep 29, 2022)

Spergichu said:


> God, do any of you faggots have even a little bit of agency in your own life? "My catboy daddy gave me permission to make fun of Ralph." Jesus Christ that's pathetic. Grow a fucking spine and do what you want online.


In this vein, I cannot think of anything more gay and lame than being excited for a "report" on someone being authorized by Fuentes. I mean, really? You need permission to do a report on someone? Such faggotry should be mocked endlessly on this site as much as we laughed at Ralph getting his ass kicked in two seconds in Portugal.

Kill yourself for bringing this here to "participate" in. Shamefur dispray.


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## AltisticRight (Sep 29, 2022)

Stolen from poast.


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## TyrasGuard (Sep 29, 2022)

Ralph is probably the only person aside from Chris Chan i can think of that has walked back on everything they once stood for EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.

Thankfully, it's not my job to please the catdaddy otherwise i'd have to spend a weekend fishing for tweets. 

_"He has authorized me"_, they are trying to sound like they are professionals but it comes out as the time i was 9 and i had to ask my dad to sign my permission to go visit the farm with my class.


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## TV's Adam West (Sep 29, 2022)

There's the whole issue about Ralph and Arby's. Something happened in 1990. I dunno.


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## Gina Gillotti (Sep 29, 2022)

Farglemark said:


> How can you not see how funny it would be to force Ralph to stand behind a hit piece that mocks him? Or the inevitable war it would create if it was done? If there's a chance at that it's worth it.


The war is inevitable, though. It has been generally understood to be inevitable here ever since Ralph went on Cozy. If that is the reason this is being done, seems perilously close to gay trolling plans possibly with a side of getting angry over Ralph to me. More importantly, see these two posters who put it quite well:


ConSluttant said:


> In this vein, I cannot think of anything more gay and lame than being excited for a "report" on someone being authorized by Fuentes. I mean, really? You need permission to do a report on someone? Such faggotry should be mocked endlessly on this site as much as we laughed at Ralph getting his ass kicked in two seconds in Portugal.
> 
> Kill yourself for bringing this here to "participate" in. Shamefur dispray.





TyrasGuard said:


> Ralph is probably the only person aside from Chris Chan i can think of that has walked back on everything they once stood for EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.
> 
> Thankfully, it's not my job to please the catdaddy otherwise i'd have to spend a weekend fishing for tweets.
> 
> _"He has authorized me"_, they are trying to sound like they are professionals but it comes out as the time i was 9 and i had to ask my dad to sign my permission to go visit the farm with my class.


Perhaps Ethan is a worse person than Nick (although Nick has like 15 years to catch up and has never been an intimate relationship unless you count Catboy Kami and that's where the Gunt really shines) but Nick, Alberto, and the Groypers as a whole are far, far more cringe than Ralph. Cringe is like leprosy and is transitive. Participating in some gay and pretentious "report authorized by Nick Fuentes", even ironically, is even more cringe than ironic Gunt-guarding.


Pit Viper Salesman said:


> It's just useful to have his provable rap sheet in one place with the added bonus of adding a bit of satire while doing it.


There have been various attempts to put all this stuff together and I support doing that, although most of those fizzled, but if doing that involves validating the cringe in the OP, then meh.


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## Truly Rural (Sep 29, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 3700153
> Stolen from poast.


This is the most accurate thing on the Internet. It's more accurate than the most up to date weather info. As for why people hate Ralph, just associate with him and find out.


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## .iota. (Sep 29, 2022)

Haru Okumura said:


> Actively associating with and, in some cases, outright _working_ with known pedophiles.  I'll edit in proof images once the site is more stable.
> -Vito Gesualdi got in a heated discussion about "non-offending" pedophiles and slipped up and referred to such individuals with the pronoun "we", thus outing himself as a pedophile



not only that, he then doubled down, emphatically.  but i've always found this to be far more compelling:




i know this is a thread about the ragepig, but this is worth considering.  null ended his relationship with dax because of dax's affiliation with self-proclaimed pedophiles such as vito, as well as digibro and meigh, who were a couple at the time.  ralph was insignificant in the matter, but the corn harvest had begun, and ralph took the opportunity to spite null.  now, he platforms vito, he considers dax his best friend, and he's playing family with his never-bride meigh.

that's what he does.  he insinuates himself, exaggerates the significance of his involvement, then believes his own bullshit.  and woe unto those who don't do the same.  a movie reference from null?  an "eww" face from rekieta?  a couple of subtle genital comparisons from metokur?  well, null becomes a pedophile with erectile dysfunction, nick becomes the father of retarded children and a conniving fraud who ought to be disbarred, and metokur becomes a pseudonymous hypocondriac awaiting an excruciating death while his obese asian wife serves him dog stirfry.

the ragepig is notoriously thin-skinned and small-minded.  he is simply incapable of emotional regulation.  he doesn't do the things that he does to feel _better_, he does it to feel _less miserable_.  the gluttony, the alcohol, the drugs, the lying, the gambling, the speeding, the vacations, the whores, the insults, the feuds, and the sheer rage ... none of it is honest.  it's braggadocio to protect the little boy that no one ever loved enough.


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Sep 29, 2022)

Aside from the pure utility of having a full and accurate list of Ralph’s shitty behavior, I think some people are missing the inherent funny here.  After everything Ralph has done to fuck with Cozy, Nick is either using this to shit test Ralph and make him sit there and take the public humiliation of having to co-sign a report of everything people shit on him about or will use it to cut Ralph loose from Cozy.

If it’s the first, then Ralph would have to sit there and eat shit while they literally read a kiwi farms thread at him and make him agree with it. If it’s the second, Nick using KF as his reason to cut Ralph loose is a hilarious kick in the balls.


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## Vexillology (Sep 29, 2022)

You could include the time his childhood schoolmates heard about his online presence and revealed that he killed a dog in the 90s


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## solidus (Sep 29, 2022)

Vexillology said:


> You could include the time his childhood schoolmates heard about his online presence and revealed that he killed a dog in the 90s



RIP Doggo Epstein.

He and Ronnie Ralph also gassed a litter of puppies in an oven.


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## Mr E. Grifter (Sep 29, 2022)

Ralph regularly drives drunk and dangerously. He has seriously harmed other drivers, and put his own pregnant girlfriend in harms way in order to break-check a truck driver who he thought was taking too long during an overtake.


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## Harlan Wick (Sep 29, 2022)

Spergichu said:


> God, do any of you faggots have even a little bit of agency in your own life? "My catboy daddy gave me permission to make fun of Ralph." Jesus Christ that's pathetic. Grow a fucking spine and do what you want online.


Of course they have agency in their cult controlled lives. When and if Nick says they do.


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## Null (Sep 29, 2022)

he's FAT


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## Mr. Manchester (Sep 29, 2022)

The best part of any Ralph falling out is when he immediately starts parroting things people say on the forum.  He's probably already rooting through Nick's thread to build up shit to say.  The minute he's booted to the next shithole website it'll be nothing but, "Nick Fuentes is gay and fucks catboys, Ah wouldn't do that!  He's also uh Mexican!  Fuck Mexico!  Ah happen to know quite a lot about Mexico *grunt* if ah do say so muhself... for reasons I won't disclose..."


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## Spergichu (Sep 29, 2022)

Null said:


> he's FAT


And I would not have sex with him.


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## Dogechu_Prime (Sep 29, 2022)

I mean Ralph loved sticking the micro memphis in Alice's mouth while she was snoozin' so he was giving her the down under southern surprise. He did say that God punished Nick's mom when she was suffering cancer, and did tell his Mom to eat a cock or hitchhike to her dialysis appointment. Now the Ralphamale is in Mexico, so he can ride on the back of Juan's truck to his dilation appointment. 

There's just so much Ralphamale lore, it's hilarious. You can hear fucking cartoon train whistles happening from south of the border now with him knowing KF is back up. Isn't he supposed to be fighting Warski soon anyways? Ralphamania hoggin' wild on you?


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## Punished Lobsterchu (Sep 29, 2022)

LISTEN MICHAEL IT WAS PROBABLY YOU THAT GASSED THE PUPPIES, BITCH YOU"LL HAVE TO KILL ME TO DO A REPORT.


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## Gina Gillotti (Sep 29, 2022)

_Esprit d'escalier_, but I heard Kengle wants help compiling a report on Chris-Chan.


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## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Sep 29, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> - Societal menace, he drives like scum and puts innocent lives at risk.


Here here!  Shame on me for not remembering that!  Is that one stream where he raced home to make his infamous appearance on the Chrissie Mayr show still up where he says he was drunk "BUT NAWT *DRUNK* DRUNK!"?


AltisticRight said:


> - Christian behaviour, being the deadest of deadbeat fathers on the sektur, a bigger deadbeat than BigTech.


I thought Bigtech was just an abusive POS.  Is he a deadbeat too?


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## SevenEightNine (Sep 29, 2022)

Don'tAnalizeMeBro! said:


> Here here!  Shame on me for not remembering that!  Is that one stream where he raced home to make his infamous appearance on the Chrissie Mayr show still up where he says he was drunk "BUT NAWT *DRUNK* DRUNK!"?
> 
> I thought Bigtech was just an abusive POS.  Is he a deadbeat too?


Not officially, I doubt.  He doesn't have custody.  He hasn't been allowed to see his daughter since his conviction.  Very unusual decision in family court in some ways.


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## zyclonPD (Sep 29, 2022)

TyrasGuard said:


> Ralph is probably the only person aside from Chris Chan i can think of that has walked back on everything they once stood for EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.


Ralph has even walked that back before if you've been around for the Zidan days of the killstream. Ralph initially was slightly annoyed by the farms but had a sort of feigned indifference to it. He created an account here to dispute something once and stuck around for a while. He then turned to praising Null and kiwi farms to possibly get some favor among the userbase and pander to him. 

Ralph started to break from this notion after Gator convinced him that the Ralph Retort Forums was a bad idea and he shouldn't trust Null to host a forum for him. Then we get the corn joke and arrive here.

So technically Ralph has even walked back his opinion of the farms about 3 times now.


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## Near (Sep 29, 2022)

So what's the deal, does this have any promise?
Or am I right to expect a session of Ralph dicksucking and guntguarding while conveniently skipping over / justifying his tremendous fuckups over the years


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## MvAgusta (Sep 29, 2022)

zyclonPD said:


> Ralph has even walked that back before if you've been around for the Zidan days of the killstream. Ralph initially was slightly annoyed by the farms but had a sort of feigned indifference to it. He created an account here to dispute something once and stuck around for a while. He then turned to praising Null and kiwi farms to possibly get some favor among the userbase and pander to him.
> 
> Ralph started to break from this notion after Gator convinced him that the Ralph Retort Forums was a bad idea and he shouldn't trust Null to host a forum for him. Then we get the corn joke and arrive here.
> 
> So technically Ralph has even walked back his opinion of the farms about 3 times now.


All because of a corn joke and now we’re here, a broken Gunt with severe brain trauma and more rage than ever before


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## Duke-Diggler (Sep 29, 2022)

When a person has THIS much of a rap sheet, you would know you're dealing with a person who's a piece of shit. He is the epitome of an abusive person, one who blames everyone else for his own problems, is incredibly childish, vindictive even to the most mild of slights, has revenge fantasies and will do anything in his power to ruin people's lives.

What's fortunate is that he is both ugly inside and out, which means he would be easy to stick out from the crowd. What is also fortunate is that mockery is his biggest weakness as everyone who mocks him suddenly has great things happen whereas people who guntguard ralph see their careers destroyed. Example would be Andy Racewarski finally making his big break in boxing and Nick fuentes who now has Cozy.TV in shambles. Sure, Andy Warski got his ass kicked in the first boxing match round, but at least he made it into a match. Nick's streaming service has already gotten a bad rap due to Ralph's sperging.

Ralph is an epitome of trailer trash.


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## Donuteater (Sep 29, 2022)

The problem with this whole thing is for Nick to have an issue with any of the terrible behavior of Ralph, he'd need to set a standard for what is acceptable. Nick doesn't have standards, which is why he's happy to have a fat alcoholic sex offender waddling around his events.
That'll be Nick's response to this whole thing: he'll pretend it's not important enough to bother with. He'll ignore all the horrible things Ralph does and has done. Because to him it's all acceptable. Nothing is the matter. Ralph doesn't give a fuck about his long term wellbeing and that appeals to Nick because he's too stupid to run a political movement properly.

Here's the shortened version of the Alberto report: why do people not like Ralph? Because he's a piece of shit in ever possible way and association with him is a death sentence. I


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## Fools Idol (Sep 29, 2022)

The idea that Ethan Ralph is the line in the sand for Cozy and AF is fucking hilarious. If this is the standard by which you measure what is and isn't acceptable then you might as well have no standards at all.


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## UnLimiTed-Lbs (Sep 29, 2022)

Ethan is platformed by America First and has America first guest and audience and still to this day hasn't made the pledge to "rape, kill, and die for Nick Fuentes".
Ethan is simply grifting off groyper's money, he doesn't care about right wing politics or values.


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## Wooper (Sep 29, 2022)

Nick should view it like this since he is unable to think like a human, Nick the reason why you have a sub forum on this website is because of your association with Ralph. The reasons why your gayescapades,  mannerisms & your breakups with other America First members are well know is because of your association to Ethan Ralph. Ethan Ralph might suck on your toes but he'll still shit on your carpet.


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## AltisticRight (Sep 29, 2022)

If you "require permission from Nicholas J. Fuentes" to report on Ethan Ralph, you really should just kill yourself.


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## Fannyscum (Sep 29, 2022)

TyrasGuard said:


> Ralph is probably the only person aside from Chris Chan i can think of that has walked back on everything they once stood for EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.


Ralph used to love KiwiFarms and it's still his most visited website next to Twitter. Josh was a guest on the KillStream almost every day for a while and @theralph is his verified account here. There is no conviction Ralph holds that he wouldn't completely walk back if it was convenient for him at the time.


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## Disheveled-Human (Sep 29, 2022)

Ralph is a faggot who lost his edge now he just cries about life. It is fucking sad. Remember when he tried to sell people on the fact faith vickers was some sort of high end catch like bro... just stop.


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## Gina Gillotti (Sep 29, 2022)

DisheveledHuman said:


> Ralph is a faggot who lost his edge now he just cries about life. It is fucking sad. Remember when he tried to sell people on the fact faith vickers was some sort of high end catch like bro... just stop.


I mean, she is sandwiched between Ade (fat, filter-abusing, poorly aging pickme) and Meigh () so everything is relative.


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## The First Fag (Sep 29, 2022)

The first day I'm back and the foundation of exceptional faggotry between Fuentes and Ralph have been laid. God I fucking love this website.


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## MeltyTW (Sep 29, 2022)

Duke-Diggler said:


> Nick's streaming service has already gotten a bad rap due to Ralph's sperging


not to mention ralphs flaggotry has made cozy the face of anti free speech neo nazi incel rapist shit online and ruined what little fuentes had to whine about


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## Pitbull Victim (Sep 29, 2022)

Michael Alberto has the appearance and mental faculties of a 1980s AIDS patient so I doubt he is capable of producing anything that is evenly moderately entertaining.

What is funny about Ralph is the same reason he is hated: Ralph is the Alpha and the Omega of white trash.  White trash comes in a bunch of different varieties: wigger, deadbeat dad, fake Christian, chronic cheater, substance abuser, petty criminal, domestic violence participant, ragetard that literally turns red from anger, etc.  Your average white trash person fits a handful of these descriptions.  Ralph though fits every description of white trash I have ever heard, down to even petty shit like using paper plates for an indoor dinner.

Everything Ralph does is hilariously classless and stupid.  If you need an anemic rentboy to "report" that to you, you are just hopeless.


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## NoodleFucker3000 (Sep 29, 2022)

TV's Adam West said:


> Ralph is fat and I would not have sex with him.


Doesn't matter if you would or not,he's getting you black out drunk and having his way with that mouth anyways.


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## Cucktry Roads (Sep 29, 2022)

"[sic]being fat isn't a reason to hate someone"

I'd like to present into evidence, well evidence that it's nawt true. Looking at this fat, disgusting flab of flesh will make anyone despise it.

*The First Gunt*

Taken in Knoxville Tennessee after Tonka refused to show up to his fight with Warski. Ralph tried picking fights with people, and even kicked Warski during a pushup contest he was clearly losing. This single picture started the downfall of Ethan Ralph. Picture from Left to right is: Some random fan no one's ever been able to ID, Dick Masterson, The Gunt, Ethan Ralph, CoachRedPill.





*The Second Gunt*

The most horrifying gunt in the series. This is the censored version, but every single one of us Kiwis have to live with this on our minds.. This one came with the sex tape where Ralph released revenge porn of his barely legal teenage girlfriend. She rode that Gunt reverse cowgirl while it jiggled violently around. We also saw a thumb enter said teenage girl's asshole, which was promptly ripped out and licked. This was taken to court where Ralph was forced to plead "No contest", which is basically "I'm guilty, but luckily the state doesn't want to deal with the costs of putting me in jail."




*The Third Gunt*

We got this after Ralph broke up with his teenage girlfriend and started dating his pedo horse girlfriend. He went to pick up her shit in a house full of trannies at 2am. They left her shit out on the lawn as the law legally required and Ralph picked a fight (literally). We saw Riley (Dick Masterson's producer) sumo wrestle as they both tried to become top gunt. In the end, Ralph still lost despite starting the fight.




*The Fourth Gunt*

In order to spite Andy Warski and PPP's success with Kino Casino, Ralph lifted his shirt and beat his gunty as a gorrilla beats its chest. This backfired as we saw how he's so fucking fat that he has quadtits.




*The Fifth Gunt*

After a short Hiatus, Ralph's gunt returned to it's full time, floppy glory. After getting his ass kicked in the streets of Portugal during his first trip in order to spite Andy Warski (Ralph succeeded at this by having an epic foreign vacation where he got to enjoy Burger King and sat in the hotel watching American sportsball). At some point, he got in a fight and lost.
Afterward, he decided to spite all his haters again and go to Portugal again. Another person in the sector named Cog (who Ralph has harassed his family in the past) decided to track him down and confront him on it. When Cog was right around the corner, he told his stream he wasn't going to attack Ralph. Luckily, like at the troon house, Ralph started the fight, and Dan the Man immediately ended the fight.






This is just a sample of the fat we have to burden ourselves with. We see it more than this, but these are all the big events.
I feel so defiled. My body and mind are temples to God. The thought of Ralph's gunt defiles this sacred ground.


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## SaidNoOneEver (Sep 29, 2022)

Null said:


> he's FAT


And 5'2"


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## Delicious Diversity (Sep 29, 2022)

Gina Gillotti said:


> If you aren't him, you're acting like it, and I've been misinformed, jury's still out then IMO, but most of my questions still stand. You appear to be taking seriously a zoomer who takes Nick Fuentes seriously to try to score some kind of W on the Gunt...cringe to the third power at this point. So my question remains: the fuck?


Wow what a buzzkill. In case you are new here - this is the Ralph board. We cover stuff that happens in Ethan Ralph's online adventures. Nick Fuentes is a close associate of Ralph, and the host of his primary streaming platform. Michael Alberto is a confidant of Nick's who has been tasked with documenting Ralph's misdeeds and feuds in order to help Nick better understand why Ralph seems to be at war with half the internet.

Whatever you think of Ralph, Nick or Alberto, this is exactly the sort of funny e-drama that we cover and make threads for on this board. Ultimately the board has two main purposes - to document Ralph's shit, and to laugh about it. Alberto will want to make use of our resources and we will want to laugh at the consequences. 

So lighten up bro.


----------



## Pitbull Victim (Sep 29, 2022)

Cucktry Roads said:


> "[sic]being fat isn't a reason to hate someone"
> 
> I'd like to present into evidence, well evidence that it's nawt true. Looking at this fat, disgusting flab of flesh will make anyone despise it.
> 
> ...


Incredible scientific research and documentation of the Gunt phenomena.  Here are some additional pictures of The Fifth Gunt that show more of its bifurcated, non-Euclidean form, as well as my own scientific findings.

The Gunt Crease actually originates at the navel because the female Ralph eats the umbilical cord of its child like a dog:


Also fascinating, the Gunt's twin sacs allow the Ralphamale to store surplus alcohol to ensure continued intoxication even during the three to four hours a day in which he isn't actively drinking:


----------



## TypicalSemite (Sep 30, 2022)

Nick is right, why are you fags so obsessed with Ralph? This entire subforum is basically an Ethan Ralph fan club.


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Sep 30, 2022)

Cucktry Roads said:


> "[sic]being fat isn't a reason to hate someone"
> 
> I'd like to present into evidence, well evidence that it's nawt true. Looking at this fat, disgusting flab of flesh will make anyone despise it.
> 
> ...


Thankfully Ralph doesn't just rest on his laurels as another pretty Gunt.  He's got a lot of other reasons people dislike him!


----------



## Delicious Diversity (Sep 30, 2022)

TypicalSemite said:


> Nick is right, why are you fags so obsessed with Ralph? This entire subforum is basically an Ethan Ralph fan club.


Because:



Like I dunno man, maybe read up on the lore and see why he's funny as fuck.


----------



## Keranu (Sep 30, 2022)

TyrasGuard said:


> EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.


*"Null is doing a great service with the Kiwi Farms, I have to say."

~ Ethan Ralph*


----------



## AltisticRight (Sep 30, 2022)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Because:
> 
> 
> 
> Like I dunno man, maybe read up on the lore and see why he's funny as fuck.


Whoever didn't understand 100% of this emoji lore, they're banned for being a newfag.


----------



## Delicious Diversity (Sep 30, 2022)

To add my contribution to this thread, I think if the primary purpose here is to inform Michael for his report, we need to draw a clear distinction between reasons people hate Ralph and reasons people find him funny.

For example, people do not hate Ralph because he:

-Drinks.
-Is fat.
-Is poor.
-Is white trash.
-Is a retard.
-Gets mad.
-Has a gunt.
-Pops pills.
-Gambles.
-Is from (west) Memphis.
-Got beaten/thumbed by Ronnie.
-Gets beaten up.
-Sounds like a beached dolphin.
-Is short.
-Has a tiny penis.
-Eats poo.
-Eats trashburgers.
-Farts on cam.
-Lives in crackshacks.
-Lives in Mexico.
-Fucks a clout horse.

These things are funny, we laugh at them.

People DO hate Ralph because he:

-Posted revenge porn.
-Lies about people.
-Is a hypocrite.
-Blasphemes/fake Christian.
-Kills dogs.
-Threatens people.
-Flags people.
-Doxes people.
-Is a smug cunt.
-Was a bully in school.
-Dangerous driving.
-Scams people.
-Steals from churches.
-Punched a cop.
-Manipulates teenage girls.
-Treated his mother like shit.
-Treats his brother like shit.
-Abandoned his son.
-Rapes women.
-Jerks off to children.
-Uses his daughter to flex.

That's not a strict rule of course; I am sure there are people out there who hate Ralph because he is fat or like Ralph because he punched a cop. But in general ayylawgz have a separation between "funny Ralph" and "scumbag Ralph" when shitting on him.

I guess my point is we need Michael to understand there are legitimate reasons people dislike Ralph beyond that he's fat and stupid and eats poo.


----------



## MeltyTW (Sep 30, 2022)

TypicalSemite said:


> Nick is right, why are you fags so obsessed with Ralph? This entire subforum is basically an Ethan Ralph fan club.


So? i never got this fan club line btw, ralph calls us alogs because he says (now when its convenient not when he was friendly with josh and making money "alogging" people) that you should have a somewhat friendly view of cows like chris. wouldnt it be good if we were almost a fan forum but with some jokes? Also there are cows i watch that i am fans of. i watch mrenter content. if i did that with ralph id admit it but i havent seen a killstream in ages, its boring, his shit show of a life is highly entertaining. motherfucker might have moved to mexico to avoid niggas throwing corn at him. look me in the fucking eye without cracking a smile and tell me ethan "scurring" at the corn ears to (potentially) fleeing to southern mexico isnt funny and i will delete my account


----------



## incelistan (Sep 30, 2022)

Surely AF would already know much of what's wrong with Ralph. Otherwise why would those freaks recruit him?


----------



## .iota. (Sep 30, 2022)

i do believe that the drunken swine thinks he's being clever.

three days ago, he tweeted about joining rokfin "by their invitation".  i sincerely doubt that he was invited to do anything more than submit a content creator application, like everyone else.




then yesterday, he tweeted about _not_ returning to odysee, in favor of rumble and rokfin.  he included a backhoofed comment about being "stuck" on odysee, but i think that was directed more at null and rekieta, who have been streaming there because of youtube bullshit.  his comment about cozytv is contrived solely to deliver criticism.



he also takes this photo of his never-bride, her nipples, and her baby ... all the things that fuentes fears and reviles ... and then posts it from meigh's twitter in some kind of attempt to portray her as domesticated and docile.  again, contrived as could be, but to what end.  is he looking for more out of context comments to feed his followers?



i wasn't sure, until today, when this was posted. 



i'm convinced that he is trying to elicit a response from fuentes and the groypers. he snorts and squeals about the platforms from which he's been removed, while grunting his gratitude for cozytv, but he knows that his time there is limited. either the "suc gang" will fall for the thirst post, the catboi lover will voice his obvious repulsion, or the ragepig will simply claim that "christ is kang" and fuentes isn't a "real trad cath".  either way, he's maneuvering.
 
(edited to credit @Fannyscum and @Jump for the pantsu posts, and to include the archive of ethan ralph's twitter for the past few weeks)



TypicalSemite said:


> Nick is right


opinion dismissed.


----------



## NoodleFucker3000 (Sep 30, 2022)

Imagine having four front titties like Ralph; and then his wife, who recently had a baby, is doing better on the belly front. She had a whole other human inside of her and STILL Ralph is the one with two fupas.

What's your excuse Ralph? Lose some weight fat fucking gunt.


----------



## Victim2988 (Sep 30, 2022)

incelistan said:


> Surely AF would already know much of what's wrong with Ralph. Otherwise why would those freaks recruit him?


I think they still believed he could be an asset before they realized that his audience was gone for ever, that his numbers are boosted by bots, hatewatchers and fakes on every platforms, while attracting the wrong kind of woke people with influence who can use Ralph's presence to hurt the cozy platform. Hosting the hunt was a terrible mistake and I hope they are starting to figure it out. Nobody will join their movement because of Ethan Ralph, and it has hurt their reputation in general.
Time to cut the losses. 

By the way during the lockdown I created an account on tweeter to follow some cows, and I am pretty sure that gunty is writing some of the answers to his tweets. Likes are really suspects too.


----------



## Research Purposes Mostly (Sep 30, 2022)

I see a lot of people listing out crazy shit Ralph has done, which is fair, but I think we're missing the heart of the issue.

I don't think this was always the case, but for the past few years Ralph has been a thin-skinned, hypocritical, dishonest faggot. Any criticism or joke at his expense is enough to turn friends to mortal enemies. 
It's cringe. People don't like it. People don't respect it. Ralph brags about being this way. It has led him to cause many problems for himself and those around him, including the revenge porn stuff.


----------



## RalphaMania (Sep 30, 2022)

RAPE-IT RALPH

everything you need to know


----------



## solidus (Sep 30, 2022)

Research Purposes Mostly said:


> I see a lot of people listing out crazy shit Ralph has done, which is fair, but I think we're missing the heart of the issue.
> 
> I don't think this was always the case, but for the past few years Ralph has been a thin-skinned, hypocritical, dishonest faggot. Any criticism or joke at his expense is enough to turn friends to mortal enemies.
> It's cringe. People don't like it. People don't respect it. Ralph brags about being this way. It has led him to cause many problems for himself and those around him, including the revenge porn stuff.



The textbook example of his thin skinned, birch made makeup is his sperg out with Chrissie Mayr. He was so irrationally butthurt, it was astonishing and hilarious to watch. It also led to this classic clip:


----------



## Near (Sep 30, 2022)

.iota. said:


> i do believe that the drunken swine thinks he's being clever.
> 
> three days ago, he tweeted about joining rokfin "by their invitation".  i sincerely doubt that he was invited to do anything more than submit a content creator application, like everyone else.
> 
> ...



>They're mad that I'm trad
>They're mad I'm a doormat

Couldn't have happened to a nicer person. If I see the usual faggots inviting Meigh on podcasts and try to get in good favor with her once she inevitably escapes Ralph's pig trough, I'm gonna call them gay on an unprecedented scale.


----------



## UCantCCPMe (Sep 30, 2022)

Idk if anyone mentioned it, but Ralph did fly to Portugal with the stated intention of engaging in sexual contact with a minor (Warski's sister). Doing that kind of thing used to earn you a seat across from Chris Hansen, a ride to the local pokey and spot on the sex offender registry. Ralph, to my knowledge has avoided at least 2 of those.


----------



## heathercho (Sep 30, 2022)

.iota. said:


> i do believe that the drunken swine thinks he's being clever.
> 
> three days ago, he tweeted about joining rokfin "by their invitation".  i sincerely doubt that he was invited to do anything more than submit a content creator application, like everyone else.
> 
> ...


I can't believe his pfp looks like that. He looks like a "This person doesn't exist" manifestation.

See, this is what's great about Ralph.
His greatest/most amusing sin is being a mental human centipede. He eats, shits into his own mouth, shits into his own mouth again and then eats where he shits. The train of shit eating gets longer with every chance he fucks up, but his cock-eyed porcine brain cannot recognise it. Instead his maliciousness and hubris gets louder and louder with each failure.
He'll get kicked off Cozy and he'll issue the same kind of statement with absolute CWC levels of lack of situational awareness. The Ralphacycle will continue.


----------



## MirnaMinkoff (Sep 30, 2022)

I just love wherever Gunt and pony live it has corrugated metal, clothes pins and washer tub. 

Ralph is going all the way to 1950’s West Memphis poor white trash standards, or at least May is. Ralph won’t have to try and keep his kid clean in a bug and cockroach infested shitpile. 

I do think Ralph’s worst sin against a female might be cursing a daughter with his face. Poor Cozy TM Rozy.


----------



## RalphaMania (Sep 30, 2022)

solidus said:


> The textbook example of his thin skinned, birch made makeup is his sperg out with Chrissie Mayr. He was so irrationally butthurt, it was astonishing and hilarious to watch. It also led to this classic clip:


IMHO, the Ralphamali's finest hour


----------



## Punished Lobsterchu (Sep 30, 2022)

Near said:


> >They're mad that I'm trad
> >They're mad I'm a doormat
> 
> Couldn't have happened to a nicer person. If I see the usual faggots inviting Meigh on podcasts and try to get in good favor with her once she inevitably escapes Ralph's pig trough, I'm gonna call them gay on an unprecedented scale.


I will never understand the mental gymnastics these people go through to convince other people that their happy. You are engaged to Ethan Ralph ( not married not trad), You have a had a child with him out of wedlock (not trad) you spend lots of time with your parents because Ethan Ralph can not support you and will poison your child with smoke (not trad). 

I guess neigh is a sad beaten housewife which is kinda trad? but not something to brag about.


----------



## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (Sep 30, 2022)

I don't hate Ethan Ralph I just think he's fat and ugly and has a little wee wee.


----------



## BlackDragoons (Sep 30, 2022)

Keranu said:


> *"Null is doing a great service with the Kiwi Farms, I have to say."
> 
> ~ Ethan Ralph*


Ethan Ralph used to regularly post here back in the day from what I've heard.

Nowadays he just lurks because his ego is a fragile baby.


----------



## Elmo (Sep 30, 2022)

BlackDragoons said:


> Ethan Ralph used to regularly post here back in the day from what I've heard.
> 
> Nowadays he just lurks because his ego is a fragile baby.


Makes you wonder who he's asked for an invite code.


----------



## Keranu (Sep 30, 2022)

Elmo said:


> Makes you wonder who he's asked for an invite code.


I kind of hoped KF user was leaked during the hack just so we could look for noramalik@gmail.com and radroberts@theralphretort.com accounts.


----------



## Elmo (Sep 30, 2022)

Keranu said:


> I kind of hoped KF user was leaked during the hack just so we could look for noramalik@gmail.com and radroberts@theralphretort.com accounts.


Just be on the lookout if you ever see a "Bob Smith" lurking.


----------



## BlackDragoons (Sep 30, 2022)

Elmo said:


> Makes you wonder who he's asked for an invite code.


Hes had an account even before the site had set invitation only.


----------



## NaggotFigger (Sep 30, 2022)

BlackDragoons said:


> Ethan Ralph used to regularly post here back in the day from what I've heard.
> 
> Nowadays he just lurks because his ego is a fragile baby.


That's what happens when Ralph used to be a Kiwi himself until he get the fuck away from KF and be a massive retard after leaving KF permanently and just lurk like a pussy.
Also because of his fragile as a premature baby ego as well. He's too thin-skinned to take everything seriously and will always end up getting humiliated back-to-back.


----------



## Elmo (Sep 30, 2022)

BlackDragoons said:


> Hes had an account even before the site had set invitation only.


And he hasn't used it in over two years.


----------



## Wodanaz (Oct 1, 2022)

Gina Gillotti said:


> If you aren't him, you're acting like it, and I've been misinformed, jury's still out then IMO, but most of my questions still stand. You appear to be taking seriously a zoomer who takes Nick Fuentes seriously to try to score some kind of W on the Gunt...cringe to the third power at this point. So my question remains: the fuck?





TypicalSemite said:


> Nick is right, why are you fags so obsessed with Ralph? This entire subforum is basically an Ethan Ralph fan club.


Behold: The man and wife of no fun allowed. You know that old adage "If you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all"? Well I would like to posit that for the purposes of the forum, it should be expanded as "If you don't have anything funny to say, you should jump off a bridge because nobody likes a downer".


Delicious Diversity said:


> -Steals from churches.


This one sticks out in my mind and I can't believe I forgot about it. During one of his Portugal trips, he visited a church and when he left, he literally stole one of the 25 cent honor system candles by the door. Just picked it up and walked out. I suppose crime is based though and this won't matter to little nicker.


----------



## Tiger Jack (Oct 1, 2022)

Are people really expecting a hitpiece to come out of this? I mean, I know it's hard to make Ralph look good with his track record, but if there's anything Fuentes has demonstrated that he's willing to double down on, it's Gunt guarding.
He already knows why people hate Ralph, that's why he's allowed on Cozy. Ralph's a constantly imploding retard that draws eyes to his platform.


----------



## heathercho (Oct 1, 2022)

Elmo said:


> And he hasn't used it in over two years.


Way back in the Kumite era, I'm sure he had a sock, as well as his main one. 
It had the stench of malicious gunt-smega all over it, but, conversely, it could have been one of his many capos he's lost along the way.


----------



## Blue Miaplacidus (Oct 1, 2022)

heathercho said:


> Way back in the Kumite era, I'm sure he had a sock, as well as his main one.
> It had the stench of malicious gunt-smega all over it, but, conversely, it could have been one of his many capos he's lost along the way.


At the very least he definitely used Nora's account and even pretended to be her. Gunt has always been a scheming retard who has tried to control the narrative about his documented retardation, I highly doubt he didn't sock even back then.


----------



## TV's Adam West (Oct 1, 2022)

TypicalSemite said:


> Nick is right, why are you fags so obsessed with Ralph? This entire subforum is basically an Ethan Ralph fan club.


Shut up Ethan.


----------



## Sphere (Oct 1, 2022)

Keranu said:


> Not to mention refusing the jab to visit her in the hospital.



I don't get why everyone always fixates on this.

Knowing the side effects which can range from facial paralysis to death, besides the fact that it's useless (doesn't stop transmission), I wouldn't let anyone strong-arm me into taking the vaccine myself


----------



## Sam Losco's Wife (Oct 1, 2022)

Sphere said:


> I don't get why everyone always fixates on this.


They only fixate on it because Ralph let his mother die neglected and isolated because he refused to get it. The funny thing is her doctor has a rap sheet of abusing elderly patients and in true Ralphamale fashion he left her in his "care" for the last agonizing 2 weeks of her filty, degenerate, coal burning life.


----------



## MeltyTW (Oct 1, 2022)

Sphere said:


> I don't get why everyone always fixates on this.
> 
> Knowing the side effects which can range from facial paralysis to death, besides the fact that it's useless (doesn't stop transmission), I wouldn't let anyone strong-arm me into taking the vaccine myself


You're forgetting Ralph was very very mild on the vaccine or anti vaccine side in the beginning, he flipped for very petty reasons and then parlayed that pig rage into a grift to nick's pedo incels. He got upset that a politician was hypocritical in asking people to wear masks but then not wearing one on his vacation, thats the only reason Ralph let his mother die alone and is compromising the health of his infant child because he is upset at one person being a hypocrite that isn't him. Even if you think theres good reason to be anti vaxx any reason you can give that you would think is noble is not the reason Ethan Ralph is anti vaxx for. 

No for real before that one hypocritical politician his stance was "oh well idk it could be good but ya know i like my freedoms of choice"


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Oct 1, 2022)

Sphere said:


> I don't get why everyone always fixates on this.
> 
> Knowing the side effects which can range from facial paralysis to death, besides the fact that it's useless (doesn't stop transmission), I wouldn't let anyone strong-arm me into taking the vaccine myself


It would have been one thing if The Gunt had said "AH TRAHED TA GIT ME A FAKE VAX PASSORT BUT AH COULDN'T GIT ONE IN TAHM TA SEE MUH MOMMA!" or another of a score of stories he could've have used to TRY AND SEE HIS MOTHER ON HER DEATHBED!

But he didn't.  He didn't even lie to the viewers and say he tried.

Fast forward to that October and one of 5 trips that Fall/Winter to Las Vegas where he faked or actually got the jab to see Phish.  The next morning of which he had a "cardiac event".


----------



## NaggotFigger (Oct 1, 2022)

Don'tAnalizeMeBro! said:


> It would have been one thing if The Gunt had said "AH TRAHED TA GIT ME A FAKE VAX PASSORT BUT AH COULDN'T GIT ONE IN TAHM TA SEE MUH MOMMA!" or another of a score of stories he could've have used to TRY AND SEE HIS MOTHER ON HER DEATHBED!


Gunt is too much of a pussy to actually pull up a convincing enough story to see her on her verge of death.


Don'tAnalizeMeBro! said:


> But he didn't.  He didn't even lie to the viewers and say he tried.


This is probably the only time I've saw him actually not being a liar, and was being honest about his mother's condition.


Don'tAnalizeMeBro! said:


> Fast forward to that October and one of 5 trips that Fall/Winter to Las Vegas where he faked or actually got the jab to see Phish.  The next morning of which he had a "cardiac event".


He's faking to see Phish in Las Vegas, and then pretends to say that he has a "cardiac event"? What a deceptive and retarded lie.


----------



## UCantCCPMe (Oct 2, 2022)

NaggotFigger said:


> He's faking to see Phish in Las Vegas, and then pretends to say that he has a "cardiac event"? What a deceptive and retarded lie.


I'm not saying he didn't lie, but I can believe Ethan would have a "cardiac event". God knows he is morbidly obese, sucks down grease and booze like it's going out of style. Smokes cigars. Gets winded jogging a 10th of a mile. Is constantly stressed and angry. Hell, I'm sure the average man would have 10 heart attacks by now, but Ralph apparently practices the same voodoo as Charles Lee Ray, Now maybe I'm making a point, or maybe I'm just talking shit about Ethan Ralph cause fuck him. He's piece of shit; he deserves it.


----------



## ♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ (Oct 2, 2022)

TyrasGuard said:


> Ralph is probably the only person aside from Chris Chan i can think of that has walked back on everything they once stood for EXCEPT for hating Kiwifarms.
> 
> Thankfully, it's not my job to please the catdaddy otherwise i'd have to spend a weekend fishing for tweets.
> 
> _"He has authorized me"_, they are trying to sound like they are professionals but it comes out as the time i was 9 and i had to ask my dad to sign my permission to go visit the farm with my class.


Don't go off half-cocked! Ethan Ralph used to absolutely LOVE Kiwi Farms back when he was King of Shit Mountain circa 2017-2018 and everyone was shitting on Donga, Kraut, and Sargon- he loved getting info from their threads and laughing about it. During one of the Pillstreams he specifically said it was one of his favorite websites and he thanked Null for "collecting so much info on so many colorful characters"

But all of a sudden when people started airing grievances about Ralph suddenly the website became an issue. So yes- in fact, Ethan Ralph has walked back on quite literally everything they once stood for... just like Chris-Chan.


----------



## Elmo (Oct 2, 2022)

NaggotFigger said:


> Gunt is too much of a pussy to actually pull up a convincing enough story to see her on her verge of death.
> 
> This is probably the only time I've saw him actually not being a liar, and was being honest about his mother's condition.
> 
> He's faking to see Phish in Las Vegas, and then pretends to say that he has a "cardiac event"? What a deceptive and retarded lie.





UCantCCPMe said:


> I'm not saying he didn't lie, but I can believe Ethan would have a "cardiac event". God knows he is morbidly obese, sucks down grease and booze like it's going out of style. Smokes cigars. Gets winded jogging a 10th of a mile. Is constantly stressed and angry. Hell, I'm sure the average man would have 10 heart attacks by now, but Ralph apparently practices the same voodoo as Charles Lee Ray, Now maybe I'm making a point, or maybe I'm just talking shit about Ethan Ralph cause fuck him. He's piece of shit; he deserves it.


That "cardiac event" in particular kept him catching a flight out of Vegas and resulted in a trip to the emergency room. He had to take nitroglycerin for what I think were some chest pains but I don't think it went as far as a myocardial infarction IIRC. Someone may remember it better.


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Oct 2, 2022)

UCantCCPMe said:


> I'm not saying he didn't lie, but I can believe Ethan would have a "cardiac event". God knows he is morbidly obese, sucks down grease and booze like it's going out of style. Smokes cigars. Gets winded jogging a 10th of a mile. Is constantly stressed and angry. Hell, I'm sure the average man would have 10 heart attacks by now, but Ralph apparently practices the same voodoo as Charles Lee Ray, Now maybe I'm making a point, or maybe I'm just talking shit about Ethan Ralph cause fuck him. He's piece of shit; he deserves it.


I never said he faked the "cardiac event".  The morning after the Phish concert he was rushed to a Las Vegas ER from the airport due to a "cardiac event" where Nitro Glycerin tablets helped him.  Then he went back to the airport, whined on Twitter about having to pay so much for Tylenol at the airport, then flew home.  Shortly after that was when Ralph got T-Boned when he ran a red light because he was distracted reading KF on his phone.  The guy who hit him later sued over this past Summer, which was at least one of the reasons Ralph said he moved in the first half of July.  That case was later dismissed, I assume because it was settled out of court.


----------



## RalphaMania (Oct 2, 2022)

♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ said:


> Don't go off half-cocked! Ethan Ralph used to absolutely LOVE Kiwi Farms back when he was King of Shit Mountain circa 2017-2018 and everyone was shitting on Donga, Kraut, and Sargon- he loved getting info from their threads and laughing about it.


This is the funniest shit ever about piggy, he ran gay ops for Master Milo according to the logs @GethN7 posted years ago during GamerGate and he's running gay ops now for daddy Nick and America First. He will say anything for a dollar, this is why IMO Ralph has always been a faggot. This explains why during the Chris Chan arrest everyone unanimously thought he was a faggot and has to cope that the stream was meta humor taking a piss on the Kiwi Farms and lolcow culture.


----------



## MvAgusta (Oct 3, 2022)

Figured this was important considering it’s pertaining to Michael Alberto and the Gunt but it appears that the Gunt falsely flagged down a video on Alberto’s channel


----------



## Milkman Supreme (Oct 3, 2022)

MvAgusta said:


> View attachment 3711555
> Figured this was important considering it’s pertaining to Michael Alberto and the Gunt but it appears that the Gunt falsely flagged down a video on Alberto’s channel


Nick's ignorance concerning the GUNT is truly astonishing.


----------



## Elmo (Oct 3, 2022)

MvAgusta said:


> View attachment 3711555
> Figured this was important considering it’s pertaining to Michael Alberto and the Gunt but it appears that the Gunt falsely flagged down a video on Alberto’s channel


I wonder if he's made an attempt to copyright strike Cog's re-stream of it despite all of the soundboards and lukewarm takes over it.


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Oct 3, 2022)

Milkman Supreme said:


> Nick's ignorance concerning the GUNT is truly astonishing.


Endorsing The Gunt's admittedly false DMCA strikes wasn't the best of moves either.


----------



## Near (Oct 3, 2022)

Milkman Supreme said:


> Nick's ignorance concerning the GUNT is truly astonishing.


Reminds me of Jim's mysterious 2-year silence on the gunt question. Except more closeted gay


----------



## Angry Shoes (Oct 3, 2022)

Milkman Supreme said:


> Nick's ignorance concerning the GUNT is truly astonishing.


He knows the kind of person he's dealing with. He's just choosing to ignore all the negative aspects of Ethan so he can use him to fluff Cozy's abysmal viewer numbers while feigning ignorance.


----------



## Elmo (Oct 3, 2022)

Angry Shoes said:


> He knows the kind of person he's dealing with. He's just choosing to ignore all the negative aspects of Ethan so he can use him to fluff Cozy's abysmal viewer numbers while feigning ignorance.


Speaking of, who's the top #3 of the other streamers there? My first guess would be Fed Alaska but even his numbers are garbage. Who else? Dalton? You can't tell me Beardson with a straight face.


----------



## tranny on femboy faglover (Oct 3, 2022)

MvAgusta said:


> View attachment 3711555
> Figured this was important considering it’s pertaining to Michael Alberto and the Gunt but it appears that the Gunt falsely flagged down a video on Alberto’s channel


im surprised no one locally archived it in a thread


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## Elmo (Oct 3, 2022)

tranny on femboy faglover said:


> im surprised no one locally archived it in a thread


It's still up on the replay if you can be bothered enough with that shit.


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Oct 3, 2022)

Michael if you're reading this, I assume this would be something Nick would like to know:





Your browser is not able to display this video.


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## Lame Entropy (Oct 3, 2022)

yes hello i am petitioning the commission to look into why people say Ethan Ralph is engaged to a pedophile


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## Pit Viper Salesman (Oct 3, 2022)

Lame Entropy said:


> yes hello i am petitioning the commission to look into why people say Ethan Ralph is engaged to a pedophile


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (Oct 4, 2022)

Pit Viper Salesman said:


> View attachment 3713633 View attachment 3713635 View attachment 3713637 View attachment 3713638 View attachment 3713639 View attachment 3713648 View attachment 3713649


Convenient that you forgot to mention she renounced all of this and therefore has complete immunity, although nobody else is allowed to do this for anything.


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## PhoBingas (Oct 4, 2022)

Angry Shoes said:


> He knows the kind of person he's dealing with. He's just choosing to ignore all the negative aspects of Ethan so he can use him to fluff Cozy's abysmal viewer numbers while feigning ignorance.


Who all even streams on there besides little nipples and Ralph? Beardson, that Dalton Klinefelter 'er whoever. Cozy just seems like money laundering with extra steps.


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## Blue Miaplacidus (Oct 4, 2022)

Pit Viper Salesman said:


> View attachment 3713633 View attachment 3713635 View attachment 3713637 View attachment 3713638 View attachment 3713639 View attachment 3713648 View attachment 3713649





Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:


> Convenient that you forgot to mention she renounced all of this and therefore has complete immunity, although nobody else is allowed to do this for anything.






Your browser is not able to display this video.


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## Keranu (Oct 4, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> View attachment 3715184


So did Pantsu only denounce loli after the ragepig shoved his hoove in her shitter and play her like a puppet?


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## NicoFountaine (Oct 5, 2022)

Has Ralph hollered about Alberto yet? It would be funny to see a fat alcoholic idiot rage at some kid half his age.


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## Fausto (Oct 12, 2022)

It looks like Alberto played a bit of Left 4 Dead with Ralphs ex-daddy Jim.
Is he co-signing everything Metokur says? Will Nick or Ralph say anything about buddying up with their blood enemy?

Remember the Ralphamale got real pissy because Jim streamed with all his old friends, maybe he will stream with all other cozy people except him just to make him rage a bit more.






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Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.




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## Braphamut (Oct 12, 2022)

Fausto said:


> It looks like Alberto played a bit of Left 4 Dead with Ralphs ex-daddy Jim.
> Is he co-signing everything Metokur says? Will Nick or Ralph say anything about buddying up with their blood enemy?
> 
> Remember the Ralphamale got real pissy because Jim streamed with all his old friends, maybe he will stream with all other cozy people except him just to make him rage a bit more.
> ...



Went over quite swimmingly (I must say).

credit to Xaniberries for the clip. 




Ralph eats (of course) and watches as Alberto and paultown get quality time with Metokur.  Makes some inaudibles between half-thoughts before settling on the cope that he'd need top billing despite asking to be put on earlier, has a sobbing pussy party about it later with Bibble and they desperately clutch for collateral damage.


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