# If there is one thing you would absolutely HAVE to teach your kids as a parent, what would it be?



## ZeCommissar (Dec 23, 2018)

Alright so if you don't have kids assume the fact you actually have one some day (very  assumption for a lot of the posters on here). If you already have kids then congratulations.

What is one belief/lesson you feel like you must instill in your children, even if everything else doesn't stick? How would you raise them?


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## m0rnutz (Dec 23, 2018)

"Bitches ain't shit."

"If you see a girl, she probably has a penis"


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## PorcupineTree (Dec 23, 2018)

school is really fucking important


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## Cinderblock (Dec 23, 2018)

Phisical violence and yelling are no alternatives to words when you feel frustration. That's something everybody must learn to be civilized.


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## eldri (Dec 23, 2018)

If someone "hits" you, "hit" them back harder so they won't do it again.


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## Otis Boi (Dec 23, 2018)

Things will bother you only if you let them.


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## verissimus (Dec 23, 2018)

1) Reading
2) Manners/discipline
3) Regular exercise/taking care of one's physical self
4) General life advice/tips

Not sure what else specifically.


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## Black Waltz (Dec 23, 2018)

Stay off of internet forums.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Dec 23, 2018)

Take no shit.


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## Al Gulud (Dec 24, 2018)

Dink Smallwood said:


> Stay off the internet .


FTFY


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## QU 734 (Dec 24, 2018)

Don't talk to cops.


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## JambledUpWords (Dec 24, 2018)

How to be healthy


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## Red Hood (Dec 24, 2018)

The chords to Wonderwall


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## ddlloo (Dec 24, 2018)

Orange man bad and gender isn't real.


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## mindlessobserver (Dec 24, 2018)

The world does not owe you anything. Take from it only what you are willing pay for. Never let anyone else take from you without paying you first. Never be so harmless that you can be a victim.


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## Angelcobra (Dec 24, 2018)

That men are horrible selfish right wingers that will totally destroy women's rights. If they're born with a penis, they're going to wear dresses and skirts to prove the fact that gender is enforced by the parents and they aren't BORN male.


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## Cake Farts (Dec 24, 2018)




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## booklover (Dec 24, 2018)

The situations and people that you really need to fear are the ones you least expect, and that's why they're so scary.


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## Snuckening (Dec 24, 2018)

You are unfairly oppressed, and it's very important that everybody else knows your opinion about how the world _really should _be, because everyone cares a lot.


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## Kelly Bundy (Dec 24, 2018)

Alcoholism.


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## ES 148 (Dec 24, 2018)

don't yeet before you eat


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Dec 24, 2018)

How to stand up for themselves.


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## Clop (Dec 24, 2018)

_"Never have children."_


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## pwincess fwuffypants (Dec 24, 2018)

The one thing that nobody teaches kids in school? How debt and compound interest works and how much you end up paying in interest when you borrow money.


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## Helicopter Pad (Dec 24, 2018)

We live in a society


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## Hellbound Hellhound (Dec 24, 2018)

I'd teach them how to pick a lock and hot-wire a car. I'm not paying all that money raising a child and not getting a return on my investment.


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## TiggerNits (Dec 24, 2018)

I have boys, and the most important things they need to know and witness are as follows

1.) How much you love and cherish their mother: My wife is a great lady and a bit fucking looney (normal, all women are) but my boy see's me tell her how much I love her, help her with any and everything when she wants it or needs it and that I put her needs before my own. Boys really need to see this shit as it teaches them about respect and shows that mom and dad are a team and that there's love int heir home.

2.) Dad might be capable of beating your ass in such a manner that you should have a deep seeded and lifelong fear of him: Little boys are like tiny savages and in more cases than most would like to admit the non-vocal threat of  immediate and mind altering violence is all that will keep them from doing something extremely stupid that can lead to them harming themselves or others due to their own lack of understanding about how the world (or in our most recent case, a log-splitter) works and crazy eyes from dad will be the thing that keeps them from straying too far from the path of not getting me any expensive fucking hospital or property insurance bills 

3.) Nobody likes a cry-baby: Don't flip shit when you're mad, sad or frustrated, thats how people learn you can't handle yourself and will either mock you or take advantage of you. Handle your shit before someone hands it to you


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## Positron (Dec 24, 2018)

You don't matter unless you work hard and prove to the world you matter.


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## YourMommasBackstory (Dec 24, 2018)

How to draw furries, i want it to be family business.


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 24, 2018)

That I love them and will always be there for them.


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## pwincess fwuffypants (Dec 24, 2018)

Hellbound Hellhound said:


> I'd teach them how to pick a lock and hot-wire a car. I'm not paying all that money raising a child and not getting a return on my investment.



Basic car maintenance. Pop the hood. Can you show me where the air filter is and how you change it? Where is the brake fluid reservoir? Can you tell me if there's enough of it? Where is the coolant reservoir? Can you tell me if it's OK? Does the coolant look OK or not? Where's the spare tire? Can you show me how to jack the car? Can you show me how to take the wheel off and how to tighten the lug nuts? Where's the oil pan drain plug? Where's the oil filter located? Show me how to change the oil.


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## MG 620 (Dec 24, 2018)

Change your gender before it's too late.


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## Guts Gets Some (Dec 24, 2018)

Remember, you can always talk to or tell me anything.


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## Iwasamwillbe (Dec 24, 2018)

The world is hard and cruel, owing you nothing, so you have to work hard to make your life what you want it to be.


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## AnOminous (Dec 24, 2018)

ZeCommissar said:


> What is one belief/lesson you feel like you must instill in your children, even if everything else doesn't stick?



Don't be a lolcow.


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## GODREKCUF (Dec 24, 2018)

Ya'r all shit all unimportant and uninspired blatant behaviors, the most important is to teach care about prolonging family line, respect wealth and good health, and respect knowledge and school [even if he/she become gay or will hate math]


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## Johnny Bravo (Dec 24, 2018)

Everything is more complex than it seems. Always dig deeper.


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## Rikka Takarada (Dec 24, 2018)

1. People saying mean or silly things about you or others isn't a big deal and you shouldn't run crying to the teacher/Zucc/our self-appointed financial overlord Paypal over it; their ability to do it protects your ability to say what you don't like about them.

2. People spreading slander about you, or engaging in any physical violence against you, is wrong and should be dealt with through the proper channels, especially in school; the "rule" not to tell tales is a bully's almanac (and if you don't want to say something yourself, tell me and I'll deal with it).

Given that I'm probably going to settle in Japan, the latter one might be very important indeed.


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## ADHD (Dec 25, 2018)

Life isn't fair.


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## Slap47 (Dec 25, 2018)

Johnny Bravo said:


> Everything is more complex than it seems. Always dig deeper.



The opposite is true. Every problem boils down to insane people being assholes and you should live based on the presumption that most people you're dealing with are insane assholes.


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## MadDamon (Dec 25, 2018)

Everything my father didn't taught me


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## LordofTendons (Dec 25, 2018)

There's no such thing as a fair chance in life.
You've got to get them before they get you.
Believe in the bible if you want, but remember there is no place in there where God said to go forth and be stupid about it.
You are your best ally. Trust and believe in yourself.
Never start a fight, but always finish it.
History really does repeat itself. Not just in the world, but in families. Remember the stuff I tell you, or you'll do it too.


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## Tiny Clanger (Dec 25, 2018)

That's a really good one. 

There's no position or ideology closed to discussion - not religious, political, social, whatever - and none is justification for harming others. Unfortunately, that kinda relies on everyone else not being a twat, but in an ideal world...

My runner-up is that TC should never, EVER have kids cos she'd leave them in the oven or take them to play on a motorway or something.


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## ZeCommissar (Dec 25, 2018)

I would say that the world does not revolve around you. If you get insecure about "man I wonder what these people think of me?" remember that most of them are thinking the same thing about you. Their world does not revolve around you and what you do, so don't worry about them.


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## BeanBidan (Dec 25, 2018)

Always aim for the balls. That's a weak spot. Don't give a shit about what others tell you.

Never buy a console when it first comes out, that's how they bamboozle you.

When drinking at a party and a girl tries to get fiesty with you, deny them because it makes them want it more then you give it to them unless they're fat or have a ugly face.

Don't drink in the woods alone during winter, not even vodka can keep you warm.

Don't watch Naruto,SAO,AOT or bleach. Those are for plebs and fags. Watch Great Teacher Onizuka


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## 1864897514651 (Dec 26, 2018)

I would teach them the Ten Commandments. After that, I really don't care what they do. So long as I see them in Heaven.


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## HG 400 (Dec 26, 2018)

I'd teach them the fundamental tenets of Marx-Leninism.


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## queerape (Dec 27, 2018)

Know the difference between hatred, bigotry, and an opinion you disagree with. Disengage from the former two, calmly and rationally discuss the latter one.


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## Dimble berry (Dec 27, 2018)

Always treat nature and wildlife with respect, animals are living things and not toys.


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## QB 290 (Dec 27, 2018)

Everyone you will ever work for, be friends with or talk to will consider you worthless, even if they don't tell you. Whether you try to prove them wrong or not, they will never stop thinking you're just as disposable as tissue paper.


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## YourUnclesDad (Dec 27, 2018)

You don't need to eat animals to survive.


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## Lez (Dec 27, 2018)

The inner-workings of adoption.


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## neverendingmidi (Dec 31, 2018)

ADHD said:


> Life isn't fair.


This and what my mother told me:

Sometimes you will meet people who don’t like you for no reason. Life’s not fair and anybody who says it can be made that way is selling something.


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## ProgKing of the North (Dec 31, 2018)

More than three shakes and you're playing with it


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## Imperialist #348 (Jan 1, 2019)

you get back up every time and hit em till their on the ground cryin for their mother.


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## ToroidalBoat (Jan 2, 2019)

"Words can only hurt you if you let them."


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## lowkey (Jan 2, 2019)

Everybody lies.


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## DOGFARM (Jan 2, 2019)

Enjoy your genetics, you'll get heart disease.


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## Oglooger (Jan 3, 2019)

If they are not speaking proper english/spanish, they are not worth being around.
Prpepare for the future becase no one is going to help you but yourself once you grow up.


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## wellthathappened (Jan 3, 2019)

Accepting that everything bad that happens isn't a matter of life being unfair, but being a result of one's own choices. That is the most important lesson I teach.


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## John Titor (Jan 6, 2019)

I want them to work a service job so they understand what it's like to be the guy having to deal with bullshit on a daily basis. I don't want to raise disrespectful brats with entitlement issues who chimp out over imperfect burgers. I want to teach them that they don't get to judge the garbageman's choice of proffession because he's the guy making sure your neighborhood isn't covered in shit. I especially want to teach them that jobs aren't always fun but if you want cash, you're going to do it.


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## MadDamon (Jan 6, 2019)

John Titor said:


> I want them to work a service job so they understand what it's like to be the guy having to deal with bullshit on a daily basis. I don't want to raise disrespectful brats with entitlement issues who chimp out over imperfect burgers. I want to teach them that they don't get to judge the garbageman's choice of proffession because he's the guy making sure your neighborhood isn't covered in shit. I especially want to teach them that jobs aren't always fun but if you want cash, you're going to do it.


Raise them as if you are a slightly above the poverty line family then.
They will learn alot from it.


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## Overcast (Jan 6, 2019)

Even if you probably have enough money to never _have _to work, having a job and doing hard work is fulfilling. Both in body and mind. It gives you purpose in life and you help others in the process.


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## Lackadaisy (Jan 6, 2019)

Don't be a dick. Just don't.


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