# What money making ideas have you thought of that the site could use.



## Faggot Steve (Nov 29, 2019)

I often wonder how I or we could help the site and its financial problems. The ideas I have come up with have either been longshots, or me forgetting that we can not use ads in the endeavor. Safe to say the ideas I personally come up are shot down. So, I know almost everyone else has at some point done the same thing and I want to know your guy's ideas.


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## snailslime (Nov 29, 2019)

offering something like discord nitro for very dedicated kiwi users maybe?


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## Superman93 (Nov 29, 2019)

Putting ransomware on the computer's of every lolcow that registers here.


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## Sweet and Savoury (Nov 29, 2019)

Get Null to auction off his nudes. 

I know some folks who'd pay a pretty penny...


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## BlancoMailo (Nov 29, 2019)

"Kiwi Kalendar" Just gotta get Null a bikini and the borscht will flow.


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## Sundae (Nov 29, 2019)

Null could make a game and release it on steam.  Make it a kick-ass action adventure game with some fps segments, with characters and humor along the lines of Conker's Bad Fur Day.


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## MemeGray (Nov 29, 2019)

Sexy calendar


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## crocodilian (Nov 29, 2019)

$10 to register an account here. It can't possibly fail.


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## Strange Rope Hero (Nov 29, 2019)

porn ads+cryptomining


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## Grinrow (Nov 29, 2019)

Pay money to take down a thread on you. The more posts it has the more expensive it is


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## HarveyMC (Nov 29, 2019)

More merch. I missed out on the last run, and I would love some festive/seasonal KF related swag


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## Rice Is Ready (Nov 29, 2019)

Let's write a song!


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## CrunkLord420 (Nov 29, 2019)

lol just send jersh bitcorns and get supporter status if you want to support the site, or buy it for someone else, I think that's how I got mine.


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## CWCissey (Nov 29, 2019)

Null could sign pictures of other Internet folk and charge $300 for them.
Manufacture and distribute meth.
Rob a bank.
Check down the back of the sofa


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## Shoggoth (Nov 29, 2019)

I wouldn't mind a voluntary crypto miner which can be toggled by a button press.


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## Disgruntled Pupper (Nov 30, 2019)

Null needs to get a webcam and start wearing sexy outfits while streaming MatI episodes on twitch to snag a rich Saudi who will give the site another big infusion. I'm pretty sure even DSP managed to do this, so there's no excuse!


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## Mr. 0 (Dec 1, 2019)

Shoggoth said:


> I wouldn't mind a voluntary crypto miner which can be toggled by a button press.


we had one of those

it didn't really work out


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## kadoink (Dec 1, 2019)

Lolcow insurance. Have Lolcows pay null $50 a month to post less of their ridiculous antics.


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## The Sauce Boss (Dec 1, 2019)

The best I can think of is more incentives for donations, and just being plain generous on the part of Farmers. Nature of the site being what it is, we can't exactly do what we do with the blessing of normiespace.


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## Faggot Steve (Dec 1, 2019)

Most ideas fail on how to collect money since the farms cannot use a payment processor. I find it the easiest thing to do is to just go to newproject2. I know that its a bit of a "well duh" moment. But having no google ad sense or a payment processor it makes coming up with ideas hard. I don't understand why we don't have Russian ads yet, and I do understand why we don't have porn. Coin miners would destroy phones for the people that use them.


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## byuu (Dec 1, 2019)

Null should just embrace his Florida heritage and sell meth.


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## Oskar Dirlewanger (Dec 1, 2019)

garakfan69 said:


> Null should just embrace his Florida heritage and sell meth.



Tbh Null seem like a smart and tech-savvy boy, he could probably pull it off. I heard he lives somewhere in eastern europe, Czech Republic is a major methamphetamine nexus for the entire region, hook up a source, find out a way for purchasers to buy it anonymously with crypto, have a safe delivery way. I'm always short on meth so I would definitely welcome one more way to purchase this natural and healthy supplement.


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## byuu (Dec 1, 2019)

Oskar Dirlewanger said:


> I'm always short on meth so I would definitely welcome one more way to purchase this natural and healthy supplement.


I'm shocked you'd take the Czech knockoff instead the original Pervitin made in Germany.


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## Oskar Dirlewanger (Dec 1, 2019)

garakfan69 said:


> I'm shocked you'd take the Czech knockoff instead the original Pervitin made in Germany.



Pure medical grade meth is a superfood but v. hard to get, Czech meth is not really a knock off though, meth you can get in Europe is kinda good, all made in Czechia with polish ephedrine, it's rather good quality. It helps that meth isn't really that popular in the region, the poor man's drug of choice is street amphetamine (with the actual amphetamine content averaging on 3-4%) or mephedrone.


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## MAPK phosphatase (Dec 2, 2019)

Get a sugar daddy with good OPSEC.


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## Large (Dec 2, 2019)

Doxer for hire service.


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## Deodar (Dec 2, 2019)

Get Null some silicone tits and have him stream on Twitch. I'm sure people would trip over themselves to support a tranny frequently bullied by KF.


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## Stoneheart (Dec 2, 2019)

get a top 5 in every topic and have an auction every week.
You want to have lolcow thot XY in the top 5? pay for it.


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## SmileyTimeDayCare (Dec 2, 2019)

LOLCOW: The Musical


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## Horus (Dec 2, 2019)

With NewProject2 up and running, we see that there are a few payment processors that are willing to gamble on people such as us.  With that in mind, create some sort of embedded streaming service that can handle super-chat donations.

The idea is that the site could collect a portion of each superchat as a means of supporting it, though I imagine the initial cost of such a service is probably well out of the reach of the Farms, presently.


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## nippleonbonerfart (Dec 2, 2019)

I have this idea for a mat.  It would have different "conclusions" on it and you would "jump" to "conclusions"


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## Pope of Degeneracy (Dec 3, 2019)

garakfan69 said:


> Null should just embrace his Florida heritage and sell meth.



Breaking Lulz


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## Distant Stare (Dec 18, 2019)

@Null could buy a bunch of Chris's art. 

When Chris dies the value of his stuff will rocket. Also consider how many people like Chris Chan stuff online.


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## Turd Burglar (Dec 18, 2019)

I like to flip things I find at thrift stores. It's fun to upcycle and recycle things that people should use instead of buying brand new all the time.


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## CivilianOfTheFandomWars (Dec 18, 2019)

When you use the Konami Code on the front page, it takes you to a secret store where you can buy drugs with BAT.


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## W00K #17 (Dec 18, 2019)

Custom Kiwi fishing lures.


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Dec 19, 2019)

We should sell a Kiwi Farms user bikini calendar.


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## AnimuGinger (Dec 19, 2019)

Sell chocolate cast molds of our buttholes.


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## mr.moon1488 (Dec 19, 2019)

I'm still down to buy Null underwear.


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## No Exit (Dec 19, 2019)

Distant Stare said:


> @Null could buy a bunch of Chris's art.
> 
> When Chris dies the value of his stuff will rocket. Also consider how many people like Chris Chan stuff online.


Knowing Chris, Null would never get the art.


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## W00K #17 (Dec 19, 2019)

Kiwi Farm Aid fundraising concert


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## The 3rd Hooligan (Dec 19, 2019)

Faggets on /vp/ are or atleast were buying hacked pokemon for swsh.


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## Strelok (Dec 19, 2019)

Just wait for Barb to die then buy out Chri's house once the foreclosure happens and make a lolcow museum.


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## ⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛ (Dec 20, 2019)

Ughubughughughughughghlug said:


> We should sell a Kiwi Farms user bikini calendar.


Pre-cum-tributed?


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## Kacho (Dec 20, 2019)

Swimming pools on the moon.


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## Lesbian Sleepover (Dec 21, 2019)

I had often thought of a mobile app that had a layer of VPN/encryption, maybe combined with a  seeding or a block-chain-style updating method, where we could sell ad space.  Dear Leader had written me back reminding me no one would want to advertise on such a site.

This is truly  a platform of free speech reasonably, and should be protected.  Perhaps a telethon with a tote-board and some local musical acts?  ((woof))

I think as things get dicier IRL, Mr Null will see an opportunity to monetize without selling out.  Back when we could use paypal stuff, it was way easier to set a monthly-donation.  I felt I earned my little True & Honest fan badge. Now I send what crypto I have left.

One wet dream I have is of KiwiPay(patent pending ) where it's like PayPal but for internet degenerates (the far left, the far right, NO NOT TROONS) and then it becomes way easier to support the site.


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## the fall of man (Dec 25, 2019)

Kiwi Farms Bathwater.

Seriously though, 1-year duration flairs


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## Cheemsburbger (Dec 25, 2019)

Bank robbery


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## Duke Nukem (Dec 25, 2019)

Eating large amounts of beans and curry, taking dumps in brown paper bags, and writing "Star Wars" on the side to sell to idiots who actually liked Plan IX?

I'm pretty sure Disney already does this, but I didn't see anything about it on their website.


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## Quintex96 (Dec 25, 2019)

Lolcow talent show.


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## Bob's Vagene (Dec 25, 2019)

Prostitution


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## Glad I couldn't help (Dec 25, 2019)

Kiwi Farms prediction market. Do you think you know when Spoony and Mumkey are going to finally end it and leave forever? Or what will be the weight as the supermassive black hole/Youtuber BGE2988 (aka "Boogie") within the next six months? Or when will Kiwi Farms be removed from Cloudflare? Now you can win some money (hopefully), all while giving Null some extra cash.


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## wtfNeedSignUp (Dec 26, 2019)

Faggot Steve said:


> Most ideas fail on how to collect money since the farms cannot use a payment processor. I find it the easiest thing to do is to just go to newproject2. I know that its a bit of a "well duh" moment. But having no google ad sense or a payment processor it makes coming up with ideas hard. I don't understand why we don't have Russian ads yet, and I do understand why we don't have porn. Coin miners would destroy phones for the people that use them.


Aren't there any payment processors belonging to Russia and couldn't care less for what reason people use them?


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## Faggot Steve (Dec 27, 2019)

wtfNeedSignUp said:


> Aren't there any payment processors belonging to Russia and couldn't care less for what reason people use them?


Some but I believe Null said that you couldn't be an American citizen for some of that stuff.


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## ??? (Jan 6, 2020)

Null could put ads (endorsements, really) up on the site for various products and then request money to have them taken down for a period of time. The cows will organize mass complaints on social media, which Null could make worse by recording and editing his interactions with the legal teams who request that endorsements for their products be removed... he could edit the media to make it seem that the companies approve of him and KF.

It's a way to leverage his and our community's pariah status, to turn it from a liability into an asset. The lulz to be had from trolling multinational corporations are nice too.

He could offer payment options for endorsement removal, on a sliding scale based on the company's recorded profits, where the price is positively correlated to the amount of time the endorsement will not appear. This should include a very expensive option for permanent removal.

tl;dr





edit

You could buy Amazon gift cards or prepaid debit cards and PM null the details to use them. You load money up, he spends it.


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## ??? (Jan 15, 2020)

Null can make money with a job if he can somehow hide or launder his identity. How to do this is the problem.

I assume he is somewhere in Eastern Europe. If he can research how to start a LLC or the local equivalent and he can legally change his name to a common one like Michael Smith or Mohammed Mohammed (in Ukrainian), then he should be able to get remote work from an outsourcing firm. I don't know his visa details so I don't know if this will work for him.

Back when I was still trying to get a job in the tech sector, I replied to Craigslist ads where a guy offered to build and maintain websites and mobile apps. I asked the guy for a job and but for my lack of skill I would have it today. He asked no questions and said he had teams of people, so I assume he was passing their work off as his own.

I do know of several doxed internet racists who do freelance web and mobile dev using pseudonyms, so that is an option.

Barring all that he could go into business for himself, but the only ways I know to make money from programming and IT are web design, mobile app dev, making games (very unlikely) freelancing, being an outsourcing drone, college cheating, and cyber crime.

Whatever he does, he should never talk about it and any financial or tech details of his life, except to spread false information.


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## Stoneheart (Jan 17, 2020)

Kiwi Con! We all meet up in Pripyat for a weekend of Doxing and drinking the local tap water. ITs very close to Nulls location and they have an amusement park.

i also have the Motto of the Convention worked out...

Let's get together and  get some relief


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