# You're about to commit murder but you decide to post your manifesto to KF first, what's it about?



## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Murder in Minecraft of course.


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

I think mine would be about Greta Thunberg and others opposing nuclear energy. Or maybe McDonald's forgetting my honey mustard, I've yet to decide.


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## Trapitalism (Apr 30, 2021)

I'd write it about how this thread is fucking gay.


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## Niggernerd (Apr 30, 2021)

Gamers rise up


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## Big Ruski (Apr 30, 2021)

Not getting a True & Honest Fan tag after I sent the mods a pic of my penis.


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## Captain Fitzbattleaxe (Apr 30, 2021)

Those fucking electrical scooters.


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## Madre Muerte (Apr 30, 2021)

The industrial revolution and it's disastrous consequences for the human race.


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Big Rusiki said:


> Not getting a True & Honest Fan tag after I sent the mods a pic of my penis.


Typical mod tyranny.


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## TV's Adam West (Apr 30, 2021)

So a family - a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a baby, and grandma’s there for fun - they walk into a talent agent’s office and they tell the agent, ‘We’ve got a great act for you, it’s gonna knock your socks off.’ and the agent goes ‘We don’t do family acts, they’re too cute.’ And the dad says ‘oh but this is cute in a way you’ve never seen before, you’re gonna like it. I promise.’ and the agent says, ‘Alright you’ve got two minutes, let’s see what you got.’ “The mom and the dad start profusely making out. The agent says ‘It’s a weird opener, but I’ll stick with it. This isn’t so bad.’ Well, wait until the kids start going at it too. Tongue-in-cheek, literally. And then the sister starts to kiss the dad, and the mom is eating out the boy’s asshole. Pretty soon the whole family is locked in a terrible orgy that there is no escape from. They have reached the point of no return. “And as the orgy is happening, they begin to rotate, and the whole family, even the baby (who is being used as a dildo), they’re all rotating except for grandma who is outside the rotation of orgy because someone’s got to be there to lick the dirty parts as they go by. “And not there's just sweat and cum and piss and there’s blood because things get crazy, but it’s ok because they’re all related and so it’s fine. cackling from Brandon and the cameraman. “Now the agent is… ah, the agent has already called 911 by now. More laughing. He started dialing when he noticed the son sticking a glass rod up his penis and bending it like a - oof - like a glow stick… you just hear a hand full of pops, and then he fucks his sister with his little tiny baby dick. She’s not loving it. He gets a little too excited, he cums the bloody, cummy glass shards into his sister’s child cunt (that wasn’t part of the act). “Meanwhile, mom’s blowing dad… … right in front of the kids. Grandma’s eating out the baby’s ass hole. The baby’s eating cat food. “By now it’s probably a good time to say that the mother is retarded. And not just acceptably retarded, wheelchair retarded. Which is great because those ones drool a lot, so you’ve always got a lubed hole… which is exactly what they were using it for. Pretending to jack off two dicks toward her face at the same time “She wasn’t sure which one she hated more.
Unintelligible mumbling from the cameraman. Brandon laughs and bangs his head on the table “OKAY. “Anyways, where was I, so piss, cum shit, uhh, “Literally every bodily fluid you could think of was just smeared across this poor talent agent’s office - especially the tears. “I HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ABOUT GRANDMA. She gets up on top of the agent’s desk and pulls out a crossbow, and she shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling, and repels down, off the desk, across the room, pussy-first onto the grandson’s dick. They both fall over, he- he cracks three ribs, he dies. Laughing His last breaths were sucked out of him by the orgasm he was having, shooting his little cum shot load up side grandma. “Meanwhile, dad’s busy punch fisting the daughter’s front butt. Mom’s smearing her shitty colostomy bag all over her developing tits. “OH THE BABY, I forgot about the baby. So, it’s head came off somewhere along the way. Now, the dad picks it up and you might be thinking, oh, a decapitated baby’s head. But the dad’s thinking, Oh, a new hole! Brandon points to the center of his neck. Right here. And what do we do when we find a new hole? the cameraman says, “We make it bigger?” “We make it bigger. Brandon slams on the table again “Well, here’s where it gets gross. Cameraman wheezing. “By now, mom has fallen out of the wheelchair and she’s convulsing on the ground because at some point during the act she missed her dose. They put the headless baby’s corpse into the wheelchair and they tie a large ribbon across the room and they use it as a slingshot to sling the baby out the window. It barely missed the agent’s head. “The brother’s penis is inside the daughter, but he’s not attached to it, she cut it off and is using the blood- she's running around with tribal paints on her face. You can’t tell the difference between the brother and the sister at this point. “The daughter pulls out a noose and ties it to the chandelier, puts her neck through it, flat out hangs herself, right? Obviously, the family uses it as a pinata. You can imagine beating a kid over and over - with metal bats, by the way - you can just imagine how the crunches turn into softer and softer beats, you know? Because you’re breaking her into fine bits from the inside… and you can imagine what’s dripping on the ground. Different shades of red… and green, for some reason… brother’s cum, that’s dripping out of her as well. “They start spinning her so all her so all of her fluids are just shooting across the room. At this point, dad has filled two condoms fully with cum and he starts using them as cum-chucks on his dead daughter. She’s actually not dead yet, she’s still dying. “Did I mention the family’s black? You thought they were white this whole time. “Oh my god, look over there a black family enters and walks by ...Said that too soon. “The last memory she’ll ever have is her father’s cum in her eye right before she blacks out. “The agent goes ‘I’ve never seen an act like that in my life! What do you call yourselves?’ and the dad limps up - he’s limping because you can imagine in this terrible sex act that shit gets broke; one of his eyes is dead - the dad limps up to the agent’s desk like a walmart employee and throws his hands on it. He says ‘can I see your pocket knife?’ and the agent says ‘Alright, this man seems sane.’ He gives him the pocket knife, and the dad carves

T H E A R I S T O C R A T S


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## Juan But Not Forgotten (Apr 30, 2021)

Imagine yourself in the following situation. This is you and this is all the messages that you've posted online over the course of your entire life. 1% of them are embarrassing and don't represent who you are today. Then someone puts those messages into a list and shows them to his friends. Then he claims that this list represents you. They perceive you as a caricature of who you really are. Their hobby is ridiculing and shaming people  and so they start stalking you. Sometimes they even try to directly provoke you, because they think it is funny if they get a reaction out of you. You may try to explain that they have the wrong idea of you. However, they will just laugh at you. No matter what your profession is, they will convince themselves, that you are bad at it. They are not interested in hearing your side of the story. And so they will invade other websites, they'll make blogs, forum threads and videos about you, painting a nasty ugly picture of you, depicting an exaggerated caricature of who you really are. If you ever attempt to clear up misunderstandings, you will be laughed at. No matter what you say, they will find another reason to ridicule and harass you. Whatever you do, they will see you as a twisted caricature, it becomes self-sustaining cycle. It will cause your supporters to turn against you, you will stop receiving fanmail and start receiving hatemail. The people who support you with money, will stop doing that. This is not only jeopardizing your project, but by extension the rest of your life. Acknowledging the drama will keep it fresh and lead to more videos about you. In other words there is nothing you can do.

So it's time for me to kill and it's time for me to die.



Spoiler: Glowies, don't be silly


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## Justtocheck (Apr 30, 2021)

"First of all, thank you Dyn for your inspiration..."


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## Monolith (Apr 30, 2021)

"This is for you, mommy Christine, I regret nothing."


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## Ita Mori (Apr 30, 2021)

- The superior troon future.
- Optimism towards corporations and how they have our best interests at heart.
- The impeccable reputation of US intelligence agencies and US media.
- How the juice have the right to claim Israel.
- The explicit destruction of the white race and how treason to the west and whiteness is loyalty to humanity.
- How every woman should breed exclusively with black men and how much black lives matter.

I'd want the press in roblox and the media jannies involved to have a little fun spinning that.


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## Penis Drager (Apr 30, 2021)

JuanButNotForgotten said:


> Spoiler: Glowies, don't be silly


Lol, who the fuck is this faggot? I want to bully him.


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## LofaSofa (Apr 30, 2021)

"Sonic's arms ARE NOT BLUE GOD DAMMIT"


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## Juan But Not Forgotten (Apr 30, 2021)

Penis Drager said:


> Lol, who the fuck is this faggot? I want to bully him.


Alex Mahan aka EvaXephon aka YandereDev aka cannotgoogleme - aspiring disaster game developer, streamer and sex doll owner.




Ita Mori said:


> - The superior troon future.
> - Optimism towards corporations and how they have our best interests at heart.
> - The impeccable reputation of US intelligence agencies and US media.
> - How the juice have the right to claim Israel.
> ...



But that's already happened with that retard who shot up a Wall-Mart. They just called him right wing and took down 8chan.


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## Caustic Gelatin (Apr 30, 2021)

They took my foreskin so now I'm going to take their lives!!!


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## Penis Drager (Apr 30, 2021)

JuanButNotForgotten said:


> Alex Mahan aka EvaXephon aka YandereDev aka cannotgoogleme - aspiring disaster game developer, streamer and sex doll owner.


Sweet, I was hoping he'd have a thread here and I was not disappointed. Has he attempted to post in it to offer his "free explanations?" I would lurk it but it's over 2000 fucking pages.


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## Juan But Not Forgotten (Apr 30, 2021)

Penis Drager said:


> Sweet, I was hoping he'd have a thread here and I was not disappointed. Has he attempted to post in it to offer his "free explanations?" I would lurk it but it's over 2000 fucking pages.


It seems so. There was some account named @CuckyFarms, that explicitly asked "why do you hate this guy". Alex loved to use this word on his streams at the time and he is no stranger to joining places to ask what people really thought about him.


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## Trappin in the Trap (Apr 30, 2021)

I'd dox myself then say I was doing it so I could get a thread, just for the lols.
People would be like " despite all the things that make this dude a deviant, he actually seems pretty chill".
DSP would be like, "see this guy was a detractor and KILLED someone, because it would be funny, what a dumbass"
Null would make a post about how KF might go down due to some retard posting on here and killing people, some asshole would make a reverent post and get a bunch of  s and  s.
I would change my profile pic first so Tim wouldn't disavow me.

I've given this way too much thought considering I would never write a manifesto before murdering somebody, that's dumb   kill someone at all, unless I was doing it for my amazing government, because then it would be justice, of course.


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Murder in Minecraft of course.


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## Quantum Diabetes (Apr 30, 2021)

I'd yell "Who fucking farted?" and then start flinging my own poopoo and peepee jugs at every bitch Mommy in the room.


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## DumbDude42 (Apr 30, 2021)

i'd fake trooning out a couple months before the act, and write a long-winded manifesto where i bitch about transphobia and rant against terfs for not sucking my girldick


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## JethroTullamore (Apr 30, 2021)

I think I’d just claim I did it in the name of the one true furry God, or maybe that KiwiFarms told me to do it, just to fuck with either group.


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## Solid Snek (Apr 30, 2021)

A fiery polemic about the problematicness of white cisnormative society and how Dr Seuss oppressed my ancestors.

Even if I get caught, it's not like anyone's going to punish me. Worst case scenario, I get offered a Harvard scholarship and a job at Disney.


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## Thomas Paine (Apr 30, 2021)

OP is a glownigger


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Thomas Paine said:


> OP is a glownigger
> View attachment 2131256


Attention all thread participants,
Please report to your nearest FBI field office.
Thank you for your cooperation.


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## L50LasPak (Apr 30, 2021)

I'd post about all the money I'll make with my sweet fed paycheck.


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Apr 30, 2021)

Probably rant about every low IQ retard in omegle.com, ranting briefly about @SISGEV or something


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## Honka Honka Burning Love (Apr 30, 2021)

About how every Time a Find a flavor of Ice Cream or Chips I really like it gets discontinued.

Edit : And how every time I really get into a show the last season turns to absolute shit.


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## Orange Rhymer (Apr 30, 2021)

Navy Seal post.
It's the only correct answer.


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## Mountain Dew (Apr 30, 2021)

I know this is a shitposting thread, but it would genuinely be a manifesto about how social workers do not do anything meaningful and that I "hope the upcoming event" causes some sort of change in the system.


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## KateHikes14 (Apr 30, 2021)

About to?


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## Randall Fragg (Apr 30, 2021)

My name is Not Important. What is important is what I am going to do. I just fucking hate this world, and the human worms feasting on its carcass. My whole life has been cold bitter hatred, and I always wanted to die violently. And I will put in a grave as many as I can. It is time for me to kill. And it is time for me to die. My genocide crusade begins here...in Raid: Shadow Legends.


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## MuuMuu Bunnylips (Apr 30, 2021)

An ode to my love for Captain Crunch.


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## EnemyStand (Apr 30, 2021)

I don't know, probably the fact Jojo was better pre-Pucci.


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## EthanDude (Apr 30, 2021)

Anarcho-primitivism and monkey memes


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Apr 30, 2021)

I would write a dissertation about how traps are indeed gay.


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## Pustus (Apr 30, 2021)

Hi three letter employees! I wish all government agents a very nice day.


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Apr 30, 2021)

Mountain Dew said:


> I know this is a shitposting thread, but it would genuinely be a manifesto about how social workers do not do anything meaningful and that I "hope the upcoming event" causes some sort of change in the system.









Randall Fragg said:


> in Raid: Shadow Legends.


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Mountain Dew said:


> I know this is a shitposting thread, but it would genuinely be a manifesto about how social workers do not do anything meaningful and that I "hope the upcoming event" causes some sort of change in the system.


How fucking dare you call any thread I make a shitposting thread,


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## Lame Entropy (Apr 30, 2021)

Murder in Minecraft of course.


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## murdered meat bag (May 1, 2021)

Imagine four balls on the edge of a cliff.


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## bot_for_hire (Dec 2, 2022)

_EFF radicalised me. _
(I would also post the link to this totally original content I wrote all by myself for maximum butthurt.)


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## CAPTAIN MATI (Dec 2, 2022)

High taxes.


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## Damien Thorne (Dec 2, 2022)

It is about people who do not use their turn signals while driving,  kill ‘em all.


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## Krokodil Overdose (Dec 2, 2022)

How rye whiskey is never on sale.


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## Cpl. Long Dong Silver (Dec 2, 2022)

Any other response other than "the Jews and their lies" is wrong


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## Catler (Dec 2, 2022)

The fursecution of nazi furries.


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## Pringles Can (Dec 2, 2022)

Jaywalking. We gotta have a manifesto on a true crime.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Dec 2, 2022)

It’s a shitty flip book with stick figures fucking.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Dec 3, 2022)

It's nothing but Llamas in Hats quotes.


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## Moths (Dec 3, 2022)

well working on the assumption that the government/public will always autistically want the opposite of whatever I endorse in my manifesto I will go on about how based censorship laws are


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## Orange Rhymer (Dec 3, 2022)

Moths said:


> well working on the assumption that the government/public will always autistically want the opposite of whatever I endorse in my manifesto I will go on about how based censorship laws are


Mention that you directly guided by an operative at your fav Alphabet.

To be effective - use a named operative in the FBI/CIA/ATF. Spooky points - just refer to a code name/handle. Some retard in those orgs has a stupid edge-lord handle, I guarantee (i.e. 'The Raven' 'Ghost', etc...).

To be lolzy - same as above, but say you were directed by a worthless alphabet ( i.e. Bureau of Indian Affairs, National Park Service, Municipal Water Reclamation District, etc...)


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## Arianne Chan (Dec 5, 2022)

I would write that whoever reads this is retarded if they are expecting an actual-long manifesto about things nobody actually cares about


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## Stabmaster Arson II (Dec 5, 2022)

Cpl. Long Dong Silver said:


> Any other response other than "the Jews and their lies" is wrong


Nah, false flag and say mossad made you do it.


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## KiwiFuzz (Dec 8, 2022)

I was radicalized by Keffals and Liz Fong-Jones to rid the earth of Kiwi scum and they sent me a shitton of cheese pizza and plans for 3D printing ghost guns so I am right now about to board a plane to New Zealand to deal with these flightless fuckers for once and for all.


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