# How do men make friends as adults?



## NoReturn (Jul 8, 2022)

It's hard enough making new friends as an adult in general, but I know I'm lucky (very lucky) to have friends I care about.
I got curious, though, and looked at my local meetup groups, and goddamn are there a lot of women-only things. Don't get me wrong, that's cool in and of itself, but there were almost no men's groups except for some sobriety groups and a couple Christian ones. 
There are a ton of articles (including ones that came up in "Is this already being discussed?" when I started making this thread) about how men don't have friends, but how are they supposed to make friends in the first place? There's clearly a demand for it, but do none of them just take the initiative to so something like that? Do they think it's gay?


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## DNA_JACKED (Jul 8, 2022)

Men typically form friendships over activities, while women do via emotions. Men will typically meet when entertaining a hobby of theirs, like working on cars or playing sports.


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## scallion (Jul 8, 2022)

Hiking groups, golf (sports in general) clubs, weird hobby stuff, etc.
Don't trust sobriety groups by the way they want to take your soul


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## Scipio Americanus (Jul 8, 2022)

Great timing on this thread. I'm planning on moving to a new state within the next few months, and I was thinking about this exact thing earlier today. I think adult men mostly meet new friends through work and stuff like adult recreational sporting leagues. 

The solution I'm looking into is volunteer firefighting. It looks like it's a good mix of meaningful work, benefits, networking, community service, time commitment, etc. Good way to stay in shape if you work an office job. All different kinds of people go into volunteer firefighting, so you'd have an opportunity for a broader social circle than you would have had otherwise.


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## AmberHeardSupporter (Jul 8, 2022)

There are more meetups for women than men because women create and fund these organizations themselves. Men usually don't create groups for friendless men for reasons unknown to me and thus there are less avenues for friendless men. If I were you, I'd try video game groups/forums, bars ( especially while an important sports game is happening), welding, physical activities etc


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## InuRightsActivist (Jul 8, 2022)

Get a feel of what people where you live like to do, and see if it matches your interests. You can make some lifelong friends that way. Do hobbies that allow you to excersize your best traits and further your goals. I found my first job designing microchip architecture because I found a friendgroup who were into amateur robotics


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## Skitarii (Jul 8, 2022)

Why are you asking women?


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## Red Hood (Jul 8, 2022)

Martial arts or motorcycle clubs (the AMA type) are a good way. Or basically anything that brings you together with dudes over a common interest, but I prefer to meet new friends over more active ones over D&D or playing vidya.

Contact/live martial arts like BJJ, Judo, MMA, or Muay Thai are probably the chummiest since you're sparring with a live person. It helps to develop a degree of trust with someone that is punching you or dry humping you into submission. With that said, even less "live" martial arts classes can be a good way to make friends. Not everyone practices MA to learn to fight, and you can still make friends and have fun in the McDojoest of McDojos.

Motorcycle clubs are similar, but you'll probably want to get a bit of riding experience before you join a club, decide what kind of bike you want. You can kind of buy into HOG (Harley Owners Group) if you're a boomer, but there are plenty of groups for all kinds of riding.

Neither of these groups as a whole tend towards wokeness, either.


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## grimacefetishist (Jul 8, 2022)

Pretending to be women


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## InuRightsActivist (Jul 8, 2022)

Red Hood said:


> Martial arts or motorcycle clubs (the AMA type) are a good way. Or basically anything that brings you together with dudes over a common interest, but I prefer to meet new friends over more active ones over D&D or playing vidya.
> 
> Contact/live martial arts like BJJ, Judo, MMA, or Muay Thai are probably the chummiest since you're sparring with a live person. It helps to develop a degree of trust with someone that is punching you or dry humping you into submission. With that said, even less "live" martial arts classes can be a good way to make friends. Not everyone practices MA to learn to fight, and you can still make friends and have fun in the McDojoest of McDojos.


I've made good friends boxing people at gyms, even if I don't talk to most of them anymore. Meanwhile, I've been to maybe one or two DnD sessions and all the players were salty sweats


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## Iron Jaguar (Jul 8, 2022)

Common interests e.g. fishing/shooting/sports/martial arts/weight training/motorcycles/musical instruments/videogames/whatever. 
As @DNA_JACKED said, men tend to bond over activities. Find something you like doing, then look for a club/group.


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## Netizennameless (Jul 8, 2022)

Scipio Americanus said:


> Great timing on this thread. I'm planning on moving to a new state within the next few months, and I was thinking about this exact thing earlier today. I think adult men mostly meet new friends through work and stuff like adult recreational sporting leagues.


Work is a big one.  It depends on where you live, but neighbors are often a good pool of potential friends.  You have to put up with one another anyway, may as well be friends.  Plus a good sense of community is worth more than gold in times of crisis.


Scipio Americanus said:


> The solution I'm looking into is volunteer firefighting. It looks like it's a good mix of meaningful work, benefits, networking, community service, time commitment, etc. Good way to stay in shape if you work an office job. All different kinds of people go into volunteer firefighting, so you'd have an opportunity for a broader social circle than you would have had otherwise.


If you are politically inclined, checking out your preferred local or county party office can be a good source of like minded individuals with a built in common interest.  It also helps you suss out how moderate or extreme your local party's views are.

On that note, this is also a good place to potentially meet a partner with similar views.


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## Neurotypical Mantis (Jul 8, 2022)

try leaving the house (after having showered in the past week)


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## NoReturn (Jul 8, 2022)

Skitarii said:


> Why are you asking women?


I asked men first, and to summarize the answers I got:

"Tits or GTFO"
Dungeons and Dragons
Warhammer 40k
"Buy a dog"
"Join a church"
Befriend your wife's/girlfriend's friend's husbands


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## Netizennameless (Jul 9, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> I asked men first, and to summarize the answers I got:
> 
> "Tits or GTFO"
> Dungeons and Dragons
> ...


Buy a dog is good advice actually.  It is a wonderful icebreaker, and taking your dog to a dog park is another great way to meet people.  Also being able to care for a well-adjusted dog is a signal of stability. 


NoReturn said:


> "Join a church"
> Befriend your wife's/girlfriend's friend's husbands (← This seems like terrible advice)


That last one is great advice.  If your wife's/gf's friends hate you, they have an amazing ability to poison the well of your relationship.   Befriending the bf's/husbands of those friends means those hangouts are more fun and information is less biased between all parties.  Two husbands or two wives can coordinate to dial down the heat on any conflicts.


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## NoReturn (Jul 9, 2022)

Netizennameless said:


> Buy a dog is good advice actually.  It is a wonderful icebreaker, and taking your dog to a dog park is another great way to meet people.  Also being able to care for a well-adjusted dog is a signal of stability.


What about apartment dwellers? That seems unfair to the dog. 


Netizennameless said:


> That last one is great advice.  If your wife's/gf's friends hate you, they have an amazing ability to poison the well of your relationship.   Befriending the bf's/husbands of those friends means those hangouts are more fun and information is less biased between all parties.  Two husbands or two wives can coordinate to dial down the heat on any conflicts.


Maybe with husbands and wives, but if your friends are all via your gf, and you break up, then don't you lose the entire friend group?


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## Netizennameless (Jul 9, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> What about apartment dwellers? That seems unfair to the dog.


Depending on where you live, a lot of apartment complexes have dog parks as an amenity.  In any mid-size city, there will be dedicated dog parks around.  Also public/city parks work as well.


NoReturn said:


> Maybe with husbands and wives, but if your friends are all via your gf, and you break up, then don't you lose the entire friend group?


Not with GFs.  A friendship tends to last longer than relationships, even if there is a dark period before breakup.  Hell in this day and age, marriages too.

One of the most depressing terms I've ever heard was "starter marriage".  I don't know why that sticks with me so much.


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## Henry Wentworth Akeley (Jul 9, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> I asked men first, and to summarize the answers I got:
> 
> "Tits or GTFO"
> Dungeons and Dragons
> ...



Some good advice, some bad. Really seems to be missing the active component a couple other posters pointed out. I'm not first to mention is but a gym or especially a martial arts gym is a surprisingly good place to make friends. Often times if you're looking for advice as a new guy there will be plenty of men who want to help you out. I would also check bulletin boards in local businesses, around here there are flyers for mountain biking clubs, soccer, golf, softball, and disc golf teams, a garden club, and a few other such groups.


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## Pharaoh Fungus (Jul 9, 2022)

When we're out and about, if we make eye contact with another man, primordial instincts kick in and we engage in vicious, brutal combat.  If we mutually feel that we are worthy adversaries, the brawl ends in a tie and we celebrate out newfound friendship over beer and hot wings (as the ancient warriors of old were to do).

Or some just bond over shared interests and hobbies, no combat involved.  But those guys are weird.


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## Poppavalyim Andropoff (Jul 9, 2022)

Grindr


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## Catto Gatto (Jul 9, 2022)

There are a lot of co-Ed meetup groups that might work. My friend’s husband met all of his friends through a bocce ball meetup league. Unfortunately they’re all a bunch of fags, just like him. But regardless, I’m sure you could find something similar but with chill folks. I’d imagine it’s probably more likely than finding a decent men’s only group.


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## LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] (Jul 9, 2022)

Men over 30 rarely make new friends, its usually their wives or girlfriend's friends that become his friends by extension.


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## Skitarii (Jul 9, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> "Join a church"


You might not be religious, but church is a genuinely good place to find brothers for life. You'll meet people who'll treat you like family



NoReturn said:


> "Buy a dog"


Yep, that's good advice too. Dog owners have something in common to bond over, and you get the bonus of having another fluffy buddy when you visit your new friend



NoReturn said:


> Warhammer 40k


Awful advice


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 9, 2022)

DNA_JACKED said:


> Men typically form friendships over activities, while women do via emotions. Men will typically meet when entertaining a hobby of theirs, like working on cars or playing sports.


What are these…emo-tions you speak of?


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## Netizennameless (Jul 9, 2022)

NOT Sword Fighter Super said:


> What are these…emo-tions you speak of?


Just shut up and check the grill temp fren


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## Crystal Coomer (Jul 9, 2022)

Iron Jaguar said:


> Common interests e.g. fishing/shooting/sports/martial arts/weight training/motorcycles/musical instruments/videogames/whatever.
> As @DNA_JACKED said, men tend to bond over activities. Find something you like doing, then look for a club/group.


Homie, I fish and you're lucky if you meet ANYONE forget other men.


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## NickGer (Jul 9, 2022)

Skitarii said:


> Yep, that's good advice too. Dog owners have something in common to bond over, and you get the bonus of having another fluffy buddy when you visit your new friend


Idk why people say this that if you have dog you automatically meet people. I have a dog and the only people who ever talk to me are elderly people or children asking if they can pet him. The only women I ever meet on a walk was walking a shitbull without a leash, taking selfies and the shitbull tried to attack my dog but thank God my dog didn't get hurt cause I knew what's coming.


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## Iron Jaguar (Jul 9, 2022)

Crystal Coomer said:


> Homie, I fish and you're lucky if you meet ANYONE forget other men.


I guess reading isn't one of your hobbies. 


Iron Jaguar said:


> Find something you like doing, then *look for a club/group.*


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## BelUwUga (Jul 9, 2022)

> There's clearly a demand for it, but do none of them just take the initiative to so something like that?


Because overtly men-only groups and organizations are only inviting conflict and reeeeing from feminists and the alphabet mafia if they are too visible. Things like addiction support or faith meetings get a pass, barely.


> Do they think it's gay?


The intervention and wokeism inevitably makes it gayer than a San Francisco bathhouse. How on earth are you here of all places, today, and not able to see this? The way your side is eating themselves and destroying _nearly everything,_ is something that's long-since happened to men.


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## Treasure Champs (Jul 9, 2022)

LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] said:


> Men over 30 rarely make new friends, its usually their wives or girlfriend's friends that become his friends by extension.



Men over 30 make friends with their kid's friends' dads. It's easiest if you have a school the young kids can walk to, as then the parents congregate outside at spit out time. If it's a roll up and toss your kid in the car type, there's always swim meets, cheer practice, PTA, whatever.

This probably wasn't always the case, but there's loads of dads and even grandfathers on school duty these days.

I have no idea what deadbeat dads and childless men do, but I am seeing a theme here: partner's friends, kids' dads, dog owners = use something friendlier than yourself as a crutch.


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## Iron Jaguar (Jul 9, 2022)

Netizennameless said:


> If your wife's/gf's friends hate you, they have an amazing ability to poison the well of your relationship.


Yes, but that only applies if your wife actually has any friends.








> @TuckFrannies
> There are more meetups for women than men because women create and fund these organizations themselves. Men usually don't create groups for friendless men for reasons unknown to me


Men often prefer more solitary hobbies than women do. Do you know why men go fishing? - To get away from their wives and children. 
Women are much more socially oriented.


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## Dyn (Jul 9, 2022)

@NoReturn of course we think it's gay, admitting you need emotional and social support is incredibly objectively gay. Why don't you just ask your wife's boyfriend if he wants to braid your hair afterwards or something.

Faggot.


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## Neurotypical Mantis (Jul 9, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> "Buy a dog"


unironically this


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## Mellow Malevolent (Jul 9, 2022)

Have you considered finding a niche fetish community? The more degenerate the fetish, the stronger the bonds.


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## KingFriko (Jul 9, 2022)

The reason you found a lot of meetups for girls and women is that they tend to have a lot more "friends" and stuff. A man can usually get by with like, 8 really good friends and that's it. As for meeting them? All of my mine come from mutual interests like music and stuff.


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## 𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔 (Jul 9, 2022)

Iron Jaguar said:


> Men often prefer more solitary hobbies than women do. Do you know why men go fishing? - To get away from their wives and children.
> Women are much more socially oriented.


Yeah no.

I personally enjoy fiber and textile crafts because of the solitary, meditative and artistic aspects despite them being archetypal feminine hobbies.

I also keep the fuck away from the retarded, dramatic social communities that have formed around those skills, because I really don't give a fuck that some random yarn dyer managed to offend people over a fucking color combination.


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## Meiwaku (Jul 9, 2022)

>thinking about men


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## Useless(?) Boomer (Jul 9, 2022)

I like posts like this. We can't just talk about retards all day. 

The good male friends I have/have had, we just clicked. They were outgoing, at least in terms of suggesting get-togethers or being receptive to them. In my experience, some people are just more interested in doing shit and hanging out than other people, and they are open about asking. If you meet someone who seems cool, ask them to hang. Suggest going somewhere or doing something that you want to anyway. Even if it's not something they're super interested in, maybe they will try it. Don't worry about seeming gay, i think that's highly unlikely unless you're really hamfisted and effiminate. If you're not confident about social skills, there are tons of books and videos to help. If a given person is unresponsive or unenthusiastic, 99 percent chance it's just the way they are, nothing to do with you, so don't take it personal and keep on. To me, humor and a fun and open demeanor is key to meeting new people in a quality way, not just small talk shit. Find ways to work on it if you need to.

I don't know what I'd do without the friends I've had. I honestly might be dead. They have been more valuable than anything I own or could ever own. That's why i take the time to encourage you and share my experience. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention some of my best friends over the past decade have been women, so don't rule that out. It's weird to think about...if my perspective on women was based only on dating and not informed by the friends I have, I would probably hate women. 

Feel free to dm if you want, this is getting too long. Good luck!!!


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## Niggerfaggot Hunter (Jul 9, 2022)

Useless(?) Boomer said:


> I like posts like this. We can't just talk about retards all day.


That is what this site is for, you got blogs at home sonny.



Useless(?) Boomer said:


> The good male friends I have/have had, we just clicked. They were outgoing, at least in terms of suggesting get-togethers or being receptive to them. In my experience, some people are just more interested in doing shit and hanging out than other people, and they are open about asking. If you meet someone who seems cool, ask them to hang. Suggest going somewhere or doing something that you want to anyway. Even if it's not something they're super interested in, maybe they will try it. Don't worry about seeming gay, i think that's highly unlikely unless you're really hamfisted and effiminate. If you're not confident about social skills, there are tons of books and videos to help. If a given person is unresponsive or unenthusiastic, 99 percent chance it's just the way they are, nothing to do with you, so don't take it personal and keep on. To me, humor and a fun and open demeanor is key to meeting new people in a quality way, not just small talk shit. Find ways to work on it if you need to.


This sounds very gay to me.



Useless(?) Boomer said:


> I don't know what I'd do without the friends I've had. I honestly might be dead. They have been more valuable than anything I own or could ever own. That's why i take the time to encourage you and share my experience. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention some of my best friends over the past decade have been women, so don't rule that out. It's weird to think about...if my perspective on women was based only on dating and not informed by the friends I have, I would probably hate women.


Okay you won me over, respecting women is good in my book.



Useless(?) Boomer said:


> Feel free to dm if you want, this is getting too long. Good luck!!!


Please do not try to make friends with anyone here, most will just dox you and milk you over it. Go find somewhere else if you are lonely, a smaller site would probably cater to that better if you don't want to not be on retard gossip forums but I would suggest something like a hobby finder. I got all my friends from hunting or talking over years of going down to my local haunts, I cannot offer any advice other than be yourself.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Jul 9, 2022)

Don't move to a densely populated city, people are already sick of people there, move to a smaller rural area and people will come to you.


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## White_N (Jul 9, 2022)

The only right way is to beat them in combat.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 9, 2022)

Treasure Champs said:


> Men over 30 make friends with their kid's friends' dads. It's easiest if you have a school the young kids can walk to, as then the parents congregate outside at spit out time. If it's a roll up and toss your kid in the car type, there's always swim meets, cheer practice, PTA, whatever.
> 
> This probably wasn't always the case, but there's loads of dads and even grandfathers on school duty these days.
> 
> I have no idea what deadbeat dads and childless men do, but I am seeing a theme here: partner's friends, kids' dads, dog owners = use something friendlier than yourself as a crutch.


Can confirm.
Baby is still sub 1 but I've been talking to/hanging out with other dads.


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## Flatline (Jul 9, 2022)

Netizennameless said:


> Buy a dog is good advice actually. It is a wonderful icebreaker, and taking your dog to a dog park is another great way to meet people.


This is better if you're interested in meeting women. They are programmed to pet any dog that walks within 10 feet of them. If one is cute, that's your chance to make conversation. Men aren't like that.



Smaug's Smokey Hole said:


> Don't move to a densely populated city, people are already sick of people there


Normal city residents are fine meeting others who aren't like the homeless blocking the sidewalks, the criminals shooting each other and breaking into cars, the idiotic ATV and dirt bikers tearing up the streets, or adult-sized NEETs loitering on corners.


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## LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] (Jul 9, 2022)

Treasure Champs said:


> partner's friends, kids' dads, dog owners = use something friendlier than yourself as a crutch.


yeah, when men don't have a love life they revert to sulking in loneliness, its family and women who bring men back into society. 




BelUwUga said:


> overtly men-only groups and organizations are only inviting conflict and reeeeing from feminists and the alphabet mafia


an overtly men-only group in current year would be packed by grifters trying to brand it as some manosphere "chad versus beta"  grindset bullshit and it would become flamingly gay before the first woketard even notices it on their radar.


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## Butterschmalz (Jul 9, 2022)

Unfortunately modern life for men is loneliness. The only escape is traditional marriage. Which leads to another conclusion: Only a woman can be a true friend to a man (and only in the context of a marriage). This is the case with me too. 
Another thing to consider. If you have daughters, there is no way for you to trust another man as a "true friend". Anytime you do you are putting them in danger.


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## Shitted Scaredless (Jul 9, 2022)

Um. Well. My dad met his current best friend because his son because friends with my brother? It's a marvel really.


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## HIVidaBoheme (Jul 9, 2022)

As it has been pointed out already, get into a hobby then look for groups. From the people I know DIY seems to attract like minded men whether in socmed groups devoted to sperging about it or simply looking for materials for your next project.


Alternatively, I've heard of people making new friend by just getting involved in their local community, join neighbors assemblies I guess.


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## BelUwUga (Jul 9, 2022)

LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] said:


> an overtly men-only group in current year would be packed by grifters trying to brand it as some manosphere "chad versus beta"  grindset bullshit and it would become flamingly gay before the first woketard even notices it on their radar.


Ah yes, the Goldman-Murphy phenomenon. Very keen of you to point that out. So as I said earlier, these are discouraged and thus a vacuum is created. Galvanize demand with many fatherless bastards and this is ripe for exploitation and grift. It's something any man should be cautious about.


Shitted Scaredless said:


> Um. Well. My dad met his current best friend because his son because friends with my brother? It's a marvel really.


Sometimes it really is that simple.




Edit:


HIVidaBoheme said:


> As it has been pointed out already, get into a hobby then look for groups. From the people I know DIY seems to attract like minded men whether in socmed groups devoted to sperging about it or simply looking for materials for your next project.
> 
> 
> Alternatively, I've heard of people making new friend by just getting involved in their local community, join neighbors assemblies I guess.


It's usually co-ed but volunteering for construction like Habitat for Humanity is a two-fold benefit. First you socialize with that group directly. Second they can take even the most hopeless of tards and teach them _something_ worthwhile that will open more doors.


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## Henry Wentworth Akeley (Jul 9, 2022)

Smaug's Smokey Hole said:


> Don't move to a densely populated city, people are already sick of people there, move to a smaller rural area and people will come to you.


If you are from the city please do not move to a rural area, fuck off, we're full. The ruralites will not like you; you are driving up home prices and you're going to start trying to turn it into the city you already fled from. Please stay there.


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## KingFriko (Jul 9, 2022)

I forgot to mention that a lot of dudes meet friends from work, especially tradies. Cheers.


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## Meiwaku (Jul 9, 2022)

They often meet in Lesbian spaces


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## Shitposting boogeyman (Jul 9, 2022)

Butterschmalz said:


> Unfortunately modern life for men is loneliness. The only escape is traditional marriage. Which leads to another conclusion: Only a woman can be a true friend to a man (and only in the context of a marriage). This is the case with me too.
> Another thing to consider. If you have daughters, there is no way for you to trust another man as a "true friend". Anytime you do you are putting them in danger.


If you think one of your friends would rape a child then you need to stop hanging out with degenerates.


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## Matt Damon (Jul 9, 2022)

KingFriko said:


> A man can usually get by with like, 8 really good friends and that's it.


Eight is a _small _number of "really good friends"?  Who has enough free time to keep up frequent contact with eight people?


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## KingFriko (Jul 9, 2022)

Matt Damon said:


> Eight is a _small _number of "really good friends"?  Who has enough free time to keep up frequent contact with eight people?


i talk to some of em like 3 times a year, but it's good when we hang


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## Shitposting boogeyman (Jul 9, 2022)

White_N said:


> The only right way is to beat them in combat.
> View attachment 3474054


Nothing wrong with being gay just please don't show us you're porn collection


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## Skitarii (Jul 9, 2022)

Henry Wentworth Akeley said:


> If you are from the city please do not move to a rural area, fuck off, we're full. The ruralites will not like you; you are driving up home prices and you're going to start trying to turn it into the city you already fled from. Please stay there.


The only option for disillusioned urbanites is to start their own farming commune and build a community from scratch and not get raided by FBI


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## Helium Bubble (Jul 9, 2022)

KingFriko said:


> i talk to some of em like 3 times a year, but it's good when we hang


That reminds me need to call my buddy I haven’t talked to in months.

It also depends on your definition of friend.  Mine is, someone who knows my business and I know his; neither of us would backstab the other; both would be available in time of crisis; both would tell the other if he was fucking up.  By that count I have… Three friends.  Lot of buddies and acquaintances, but only three friends. Met through work, if that helps.

It amazed me when I found out both of my sisters talk to our mother every day.  All I could think was “about what?”  I call about once every two weeks.  “Yep.  I’m fine.  Working.  You?”


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## No0neKnows (Jul 9, 2022)

you don't.


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## Matt Damon (Jul 9, 2022)

Helium Bubble said:


> It amazed me when I found out both of my sisters talk to our mother every day. All I could think was “about what?” I call about once every two weeks. “Yep. I’m fine. Working. You?”


I had to break up with a girl I was dating because she called me for 45 minutes every single night to pore over the inconsequential minutia of her day.  Nobody anywhere has a life that interesting.


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## Mariposa Electrique (Jul 9, 2022)

Manly sword fights.


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## Niggerfaggot Hunter (Jul 9, 2022)

Matt Damon said:


> I had to break up with a girl I was dating because she called me for 45 minutes every single night to pore over the inconsequential minutia of her day.  Nobody anywhere has a life that interesting.


That is called the pussy tax, you pay it or you do not get pussy.


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## Prophetic Spirit (Jul 10, 2022)

Just...
Be yourself and polite?
That's the way i got friends years ago. Now i'm too lazy to keep relationships in general.


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Jul 10, 2022)

What's with all the anti-social chuds who think men are incapable of having or making longterm friendships, forever doomed to a life of loneliness and stoicism?  Get a better personality, it's not fucking hard.

What happened to your friends from school days?   Have you ever walked outside and talked to your neighbors?  Were you too much of a pussy to sign up for military service? 

I've made lasting friendship with a guy I passed at a grocery store one day because we were both wearing t-shirts from a band we were both going to see in concert that night. 

_Leave your house.  Other men with similar interests are everywhere._


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## InuRightsActivist (Jul 10, 2022)

Conan O'Barbarian said:


> What happened to your friends from school days?


Fucked off to God knows where. We accepted that we were parting ways when we went to different colleges and got jobs in different industries. Try talking to someone you haven't seen in ages, who let a different town, different social group and different university culture influence them and see how much you still have in common


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## Ben10 (Jul 10, 2022)

Most of my close male friends are through hobbies. Men talk shop while doing stuff. Its proximity. Shared activities. 

But as I've gotten older, as someone pretty shy as a kid, I think you just need to be prepared to invite people to stuff (there are plenty of equally introverted people waiting for someone else to initiate friendship), and actually accept invitations to go to stuff. The former is especially hard because there is that risk of rejection.

Either way its not going to fall into your lap. I mean as much as kiwifarms likes to shit on "the internet" because daddy jim doesn't think internet friends are real, if you play games and talk to the same people every day, maybe open up a bit? It just depends on what you need from a friendship.


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## Lichen Bark (Jul 10, 2022)

I think you need to adjust for time. As you get older it takes longer to form friendships. Once you're out of the education phase, you're not meeting as many random people as you used to, and there aren't as many impromptu interactions that lead into organized meetups. This means it's going to take much longer than you're used to to make new friends. I think it's a shock for some that you used to be able to make a friend in a couple weeks, to a couple months, and now the same thing might take over a year to really take off. So you get many people saying "I can't make any new friends," but in my experience they just mean "I can't make any new friends as quickly as I want."


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## Clovis (Jul 11, 2022)

I love it when a thread brings out all the well-adjusted socially functional kiwis.

Joining groups can be good, but you might end up having to try out a few. I feel its like dating apps; the risk of meeting someone you dislike and then  running in to them all the time is higher in small towns. At least in a city you can have more social and hobby groups to bounce around. I gave up on a couple of local special interest groups because of a few spergy regulars.

Aside from more orchestrated opportunities to meet people I recommend just starting conversations. I know it sounds impossible but just a bit of light banter at the bar to see if anyone bites, or finding an excuse to ask a neighbor about some local happenings as an opener works. Then you get to say hello and talk next time you see them. And maybe they introduce you to someone else. IDK. I've never tried to make friends, it just happened organically.

I just did a mental tally and I've got one male friend from college, one who lives near by and we just started talking in the street a lot then progressed to hanging out. The rest are just randos I collected in pubs. That magical time of night in the hard-core boozers* where weirdos just start talking to anyone. Hang around enough and the other drunk weirdoes will accept you. Or fight you. Or both. Added bonus, they already know you're a pathetic alcoholic with no life so you don't have to put up a front. 

I've never made any lasting male friends through work, oddly enough. Lots of near-friends (go to their wedding, help them move house etc) but no one I'd really go hang out with regularly. 

Also, there are a couple of exes I stayed friends with, but I understand fucking a dude as a first step towards friendship might be a step too far for some. Much like Warhammer.

I think it depends what you want out of a friendship and where you are in your life. My best friend is almost twice my age. My other closest friends have very different lifestyles and interests to me. 
On the other hand, Mrs Clovis makes friends through work, and they're all at much the same stage in life so can connect over shared experiences. Not sure if this is a male/female thing but I have a feeling female friend groups tend to be more homogenous. 

*two of my local pubs are putting up posters for suicide prevention men's groups. That's the kind of place I drink in, the ones for emotionally crippled failures to drown their sorrows. But, if you can get past the human husks you meet some really interesting people.


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## eternal dog mongler (Jul 11, 2022)

Clovis said:


> *two of my local pubs are putting up posters for suicide prevention men's groups. That's the kind of place I drink in, the ones for emotionally crippled failures to drown their sorrows. But, if you can get past the human husks you meet some really interesting people.


Well, makes sense.

I'm a woman but all of my old drinking buddies are either sober or dead. It starts to pop off pretty quick when you get into your early 40s. I wouldn't recommend it long term.


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## Snusmumriken (Jul 11, 2022)

I would say search your Facebook for people you grew up with/went to school with who you could potentially tolerate. Everyone changes between their school years and adulthood, so the casual friends that you drifted apart from might make better friends now. I _would _say that, but I’m a woman and even with it being well-known that I’m bi, it raises a lot less eyebrows when I spontaneously reach out to other women. Not that this is a less valid option for you—I’m just not sure that method would work out between straight men. Worth a shot?


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## MadDisaster (Jul 11, 2022)

Ben10 said:


> Most of my close male friends are through hobbies. Men talk shop while doing stuff. Its proximity. Shared activities.
> 
> But as I've gotten older, as someone pretty shy as a kid, I think you just need to be prepared to invite people to stuff (there are plenty of equally introverted people waiting for someone else to initiate friendship), and actually accept invitations to go to stuff. The former is especially hard because there is that risk of rejection.
> 
> Either way its not going to fall into your lap. I mean as much as kiwifarms likes to shit on "the internet" because daddy jim doesn't think internet friends are real, if you play games and talk to the same people every day, maybe open up a bit? It just depends on what you need from a friendship.


Just for general advice making friends, ben10 makes the most important point. You have to issue some invitations and accept invitations, even if you might get turned down sometimes. I would assume it works the same for men and women. 

Example - a few coworkers and I were talking about food, and we all liked a particular type of food. I suggested we all go grab dinner together some weekend. We make a plan, go to dinner, and friendship is initiated. These people aren't going to be my besties, but they're nice people with some common interests that I can socialize with. 

Also, meeting people through other people happens when you accept invitations to do things. Good way to meet potential boyfriends or girlfriends too, since if you aren't a toxic asshole, your friends will introduce you to new people that you might hit it off with.


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## msd (Jul 11, 2022)

I forge unbreakable bonds with random people I meet at stores

Then I never see them again


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 11, 2022)

Snusmumriken said:


> I would say search your Facebook for people you grew up with/went to school with who you could potentially tolerate. Everyone changes between their school years and adulthood, so the casual friends that you drifted apart from might make better friends now. I _would _say that, but I’m a woman and even with it being well-known that I’m bi, it raises a lot less eyebrows when I spontaneously reach out to other women. Not that this is a less valid option for you—I’m just not sure that method would work out between straight men. Worth a shot?


I would think it being well know that you're bi _would_ raise a lot more eyebrows if you randomly reached out to some chick you used to know.


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## The Cunting Death (Jul 13, 2022)

Common interests and friends of friends. All of my current friends sans two of them (one i met in third grade, other in Highschool) I all met as an adult.
It's like 60% female 40% male on the gender ratio


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## Dylan (Jul 13, 2022)

I know a friend when I see one. At job, at the gym, at grocery store.
You TALK to people to be friends.


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## TIMECUBE 2.0 (Jul 13, 2022)

Every friend I have that isn't a holdover from school was made through after work drinks and or playing pool.


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## Jah Hates Kaffirs (Jul 14, 2022)

Poker


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## Clovis (Jul 19, 2022)

Pub quiz team. Join one, or start one.
It's an excuse to invite people out for a drink (flatter them, tell them you need their specialist knowledge).  Colleagues, neighbours, anyone you talk to. Put up a notice asking for quiz team members on the work noticeboard.
Just grab a likely acquaintance and ask if they have any knowledgeable friends they'd like to invite or if they'd like to join.
If you dont like them you get to go home after the quiz. If you do like them, invite them on for a drink in another venue or whatever. It's a casual way to meet new people.
If in lower-income suburbia: Then once your're talking to men mention a DIY task you're working on. You get a billion tools loaned to you and a random old retired dude will turn up to do most of the work for you. But then you're accepted into the local man pack. You have to show them your shed and pieces of wood collection but after that you're part of the group.


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## GoysGoneWild (Jul 19, 2022)

In short: activities you are both involved in.

Sports is a huge one. Most of my current social circle is from various sports I play.

I also have a close friend from a shared experience working abroad. Very unique job and few "get it" like we do. That happens sometimes.

Sometimes even stuff like chess, hiking, etc, can lead to friendships. 

Just gotta have similar personalities and you'll wanna hang out and do more activities like nightlife when the main activity is over.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 19, 2022)

GoysGoneWild said:


> In short: activities you are both involved in.
> 
> Sports is a huge one. Most of my current social circle is from various sports I play.
> 
> ...


These are all things you should also be doing to find a girlfriend, consequently.


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## DrNow (Jul 20, 2022)

Since Craigslist personals went down, I couldn’t say.


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## Colonel Gaddafi (Jul 20, 2022)

Personally I have more female friends, women in my experience are easier to talk to because they seem to be more open to shooting the shit about more varied topics. Often I’ve been at parties with my wife where the husbands have long lulls in conversation when we run out of sports highlights. This is more of a western thing however. The best advice I could give has already been said, seek friendship through hobbies or work. As long as you’re not completely insufferable you shouldn’t have a problem.


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## Mister Mint (Jul 20, 2022)

Simple. I don't.


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## Akashic Retard (Jul 20, 2022)

Why are people saying buy a dog? That's gay. Unless you're into some kind of enthusiast level breeding, you use dogs to meet women, not men.


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## PyrrhicRustle (Jul 20, 2022)

Basically every irl friend I’ve made in the last decade has been through my oldest friend, who is a little more outgoing, but since we’re good friends and have similar hobbies, I tend to become friends with his friends as well. It sort of snowballs once you start I guess.


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## GoysGoneWild (Jul 20, 2022)

NOT Sword Fighter Super said:


> These are all things you should also be doing to find a girlfriend, consequently.


lmao I mean I wish. In my experience not really though.
Shit I do:
Aussie football - no girls
Muay Thai - some girls, but bad idea to hit on them in a "dont shit in your own backyard" kind of way. I like my gym.
Skydiving - no girls
beer league kickball - some girls, but they have usually signed up with their boyfriends.
work - I am in networking, which is one of the most male dominated sectors of IT which is already male dominated
chess - lol

By and large it seems women just stay at home, watch netflix, and swipe on the apps; maybe occasionally they will go out to dance bars or clubs. They sure as shit ain't signing up to do the shit I do. The only date I have went on in the last year was a friend of a friend.

Aside: a chick friend dragged me to a singles meet night thing at a craft brewery last fall. They had these two black chicks offering dating advice and a white girl offering her take on how to improve your dating app profile. I was still on bumble at the time. She looked at my profile and was all "I'm not hitting on you but you're way more attractive in person, you need to learn how to take better photos". That got me off the apps because I have no idea how to do good photos. The two black chicks were like "whens the last time you went on a date?". Me: Something around 3 months ago." Them:"Whhhaaaaaaatttttt???? You nee to be going on a couple dates a week!".

At that point I knew women and men just live in different worlds.


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## Lathe (Jul 20, 2022)

They don’t.


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## Colonel Gaddafi (Jul 20, 2022)

GoysGoneWild said:


> lmao I mean I wish. In my experience not really though.
> Shit I do:
> Aussie football - no girls
> Muay Thai - some girls, but bad idea to hit on them in a "dont shit in your own backyard" kind of way. I like my gym.
> ...


By and large most people sit on their arse and swipe on phones all day. Women aren’t going to be in male dominated hobbies anymore than you’re going to be in a knitting class, though skydiving isn’t necessarily male dominated based on how many women I’ve known to do it. Most guys have a hard time understanding that genders have _shared _interests. For example:  unless you’re in a gender specific class, book clubs and art classes have been incredibly co-ed in my experience. Both genders get equally geeky over film genres, when weirdos aren’t gatekeeping sci-fi and horror of course. Both genders enjoy cooking, hiking/outdoorsy stuff, travel, music, I mean there’s loads of shit. It would be entirely unreasonable for a woman to expect to find dudes into wreath weaving or sewing, likewise for men to expect to find a women into their most niche hobbies. Think broader. Besides, you’re not building a relationship around a specific thing, it’s more of a gateway into getting to know someone.

Also that sounds like the absolute worst way to meet women, that sort of pub/bar shit attracts the dregs for hookups, not actual relationships. Likewise for dating apps, only 7% of women actually use Tinder, and slightly less than half have ever signed up for any dating service.


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## Law (Jul 21, 2022)

Butterschmalz said:


> Unfortunately modern life for men is loneliness. The only escape is traditional marriage. Which leads to another conclusion: Only a woman can be a true friend to a man (and only in the context of a marriage). This is the case with me too.


I feel bad for the wives who have to shoulder every emotional and social need for their husbands. It sounds utterly exhausting. Women are not emotional support animals for lonely, sullen men. 
Friends become indispensable when you're married. It's nice to have people to vent to about your spouse when they get on your nerves. Its nice to be able to ask for advice about relationships with people who aren't in your relationship. It's nice to have a night to yourself to work on your own projects when your spouse goes out with their friends. 
Plus, men get along just fine without women or marriage. Those Trappist monks seem to be having a great time (I'm biased cause I like their beer).


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## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 21, 2022)

Walk up to someone, and say "Hi, my name is (insert your name here)! Wanna be friends?"


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## bluehawk (Aug 30, 2022)

Personally I am done trying to have normie friends IRL, as my brilliance remains unappreciated by my "fellow" man. I do not see why the relationships I have with my stuffed animals are less valid than IRL friendships, often in relationships we seek elements of our own consciousness sublimated and reflected back to us in novel ways, and for this it suffices. I am thinking of starting a book club with them soon, there is a book on the German colonial empire I am looking forward to discussing.


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## YourFriendlyLurker (Aug 30, 2022)

From my exp you make friends when you have common obstacles / enemies. All my bf-s are from rather turbulent school times when it was obligatory to have someone around you to watch your back because our school class was a tard battlefield.  Now we are all adults but we are still bf-s who often travel, drink, and meet together. So, what other kiwis tell you is probably correct - join a group where you will work at some common problem - it could be mountain hiking where you learn to be supportive of each other, or command sport, or some classes., that's how you complete the phase one "find the correct people". 

But there is a "phase two" which is to invest time and your resources into friendship and that is where it gets complicated. Even if you find the correct people you all should find time to spend together. In school / student time it is not a problem but for adults who never have time it is. Basically that's how the best kind of friendship dies into being " simple acquaintances".


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## CyberGoyim (Aug 30, 2022)

Go to your local airsoft field, get one of those rentals and have fun, you'll have new friends by the end of that day if you're not a cheater or a gear whore.


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## John Furrman (Aug 30, 2022)

From my own experience, I separate my hobbies into two categories, the normie stuff, and the strange stuff that I don’t often share with the normie group. 

For the normie stuff I sometimes meet new people through golf, whiskey collecting and tasting, astronomy, programming, watch collecting, and other inoffensive interests. These people are all quality people, but I know better than to let them peer under the thin veneer of normality that I maintain in such circles, which leads me to…

The strange stuff: my fur affliction, my afflicted art, and Kiwi Farms even. The people I meet through these things, particularly KF, seem to forge stronger friendships as I don’t feel the need to completely filter my eccentric interests. Kiwis make good frens, but it’s prudent to be extremely judicious with which Kiwis you affiliate.


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## DrNow (Aug 30, 2022)

All of my human interaction ended with the closure of ‘Casual Encounters’ on Craigslist.


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## PipTheAlchemist (Aug 30, 2022)

John Furrman said:


> From my own experience, I separate my hobbies into two categories, the normie stuff, and the strange stuff that I don’t often share with the normie group.
> 
> For the normie stuff I sometimes meet new people through golf, whiskey collecting and tasting, astronomy, programming, watch collecting, and other inoffensive interests. These people are all quality people, but I know better than to let them peer under the thin veneer of normality that I maintain in such circles, which leads me to…
> 
> The strange stuff: my fur affliction, my afflicted art, and Kiwi Farms even. The people I meet through these things, particularly KF, seem to forge stronger friendships as I don’t feel the need to completely filter my eccentric interests. Kiwis make good frens, but it’s prudent to be extremely judicious with which Kiwis you affiliate.


If you have to have two separate friend groups because you're too weird to function in irl society just by being your true self, then you don't deserve friends to begin with


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## John Furrman (Aug 30, 2022)

PipTheAlchemist said:


> If you have to have two separate friend groups because you're too weird to function in irl society just by being your true self, then you don't deserve friends to begin with


There’s a time and place for everything, knowing that doesn’t make me dysfunctional. I wonder what things would be like if all weirdos were so accommodating of other people in meatspace just by showing some social intelligence.

Thad, father of 4 from his wife of 15 years on the golf course doesn’t need the unfiltered me. We’re just playing a game and keeping our conduct sportmanlike. I have enough hobbies to never need to mention the fur affliction to people I’m not close to.


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## Tuxedo_Zemus (Sep 2, 2022)

I've always had a preference for solitude. I have friends from my childhood back in my home state that I talk to sometimes, but generally speaking I don't have friends. I guess I just don't get lonely.


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## CharcoalChkn (Sep 3, 2022)

Law said:


> I feel bad for the wives who have to shoulder every emotional and social need for their husbands. It sounds utterly exhausting. Women are not emotional support animals for lonely, sullen men.


Not even wives, recently I stopped associating with someone who I thought I was rather close with as it became incredibly apparent he was using me as his therapist. I noticed he was talking to me a lot less (went from chatting every day to radio silence) the *second* he became interested in a woman and I suppose she took my place.

It felt really nice not having to bear the emotional burden for him to be honest, it did get to a point where I dreaded seeing any text notification from him, but it really was a big wake up call to me how often I just let people use me as their punching bags, definitely started prioritizing my friendships with people who will speak to me about less "my life sucks lol" shit and more just random shooting the shit or even spending time together just chilling, no talking required.

I did struggle to find a solid group of friends for a long while, I moved interstate leaving all my childhood friends behind, eventually found a good group of people I loved, mid 20s we all went our separate ways (international and interstate moves) but I ended up finding a group of people I got along quite well with online funnily enough and they have become great real life friends who I frequently meet up with.

Like everyone has been saying, probably easier to join a casual sport group/involved hobbies, something where you HAVE to interact with others attending, makes the ice breaker much easier.


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## Maude Snew (Sep 3, 2022)




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## get-tar manajerk (Sep 3, 2022)

Every friend I've made as an adult I made at work. You go out for drinks once in a while with coworkers and if there's something you like doing that you have in common it ends up being like "I'm going to be fishing/renovating/whatever this weekend if you want to join me" and then you have a new friend. I feel its easier for men because they tend to be straightforward with each other and make it obvious if they don't want to spend time with you.


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## selfadjunction (Sep 3, 2022)

just be yourself. unless you're neurodivergent. then stop being yourself


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## Cleric Drop Bear (Sep 7, 2022)

Imagine having friends... must be nice, to be honest. 

I've done some many things to try to put myself in places where I could make friends but I have failed. I literally have no friends.


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## Moosebonker (Sep 9, 2022)

I moved 3000 miles from home at 24, typically hung with co-workers.  Moved 800 miles at 54.  Live rural where I only see the neighbours if I want to.  I do a little volunteer work, so I do know a few people but none I would call friends.  All my friends are at the point of origin and I may end up moving back.


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## The Cunting Death (Oct 8, 2022)

The Cunting Death said:


> Common interests and friends of friends. All of my current friends sans two of them (one i met in third grade, other in Highschool) I all met as an adult.
> It's like 70% female 30% male on the gender ratio


Fixed the ratio. And another thing 

Absolutely dont be afraid to actually talk with others and share anecdotes and all that, and be willing to travel at least 45 minutes within your location if they're in your general area.


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## Fraiser crane (Oct 8, 2022)

I moved to a place I know zero people 
This is quite helpful tbh


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## Oerlikon (Oct 8, 2022)

As i see it,


Get off your computer - gaming is a waste of time and very bad for your social life/health
Work - a great place to meet people, just start talking to your coworkers.
Sports - good sense of community and fraternity, even if you are a fat sack of shit you can go to a darts/pool/golf/bowling club. 
Avoid online communities - this jusy gives you a false sense of community with people who couldnt care less about you when your pc is shut off.
Unironicaly milirary - 难兄难弟 “brothers of misfortune” some of the best friends ive ever made i served with.  In the short 3 years i was in the infantry i made pals for life.
If all alse fails degenerate to your local boardgame store and get into magic or 40k - the classic all accepting cult of personality that is board gaming. Some drawbacks of trannies and autistic sperglords.
Or go out drinking. Just a light or a smoke can start great friendships.  And if by the grace of god you are not too autistic you might even meet a woman too.


Just get the fuck off your computer i guess


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## Uber driver reviewer (Oct 8, 2022)

Bathouses


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## Noble Redditor (Oct 8, 2022)

Yeah it's weird how any group that used to be a "men's group" has been completely subverted by women. I wonder why that is?????

The only way I've made anything close to a friendship since college has been from meeting people with similar hobbies and forming a bond after lots of small interactions. Usually it's just someone to make small talk with but that's sort of like a friend. I've also made a few good friends meeting people from online communities IRL. Not every internet community is lolicon toilet fetish.


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## Butterschmalz (Oct 8, 2022)

Uber driver reviewer said:


> Bathouses


like in Berlin the 1930s? thats where you find a friend for life!


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## Uber driver reviewer (Oct 8, 2022)

Noble Redditor said:


> Yeah it's weird how any group that used to be a "men's group" has been completely subverted by women. I wonder why that is?????
> 
> The only way I've made anything close to a friendship since college has been from meeting people with similar hobbies and forming a bond after lots of small interactions. Usually it's just someone to make small talk with but that's sort of like a friend. I've also made a few good friends meeting people from online communities IRL. Not every internet community is lolicon toilet fetish.


Well there is always the Shomryn…


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## Mapface (Oct 8, 2022)

conspire your circumstances


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## LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV] (Oct 9, 2022)

If all else fails there's always Grindr


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## 56 others (Oct 9, 2022)

Sadly enough, I joined a /k/ state discord back before they were all honeypots and thats how I met all my friends.

Now the state discords have all imploded, been yeeted, or become autistic superstorms, except this one.

I dont think you can do it anymore.


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## Dread First (Oct 9, 2022)

I mean... it honestly depends on what type of man you are, or rather, which of the two wolves inside every man the individual in question chooses to heed advice from.

(1) The introverted man would most likely meet a lot of their friends that they regularly interact with online, even if they're in the same metropolitan region and within relatively feasible travel distances. I won't deny meeting a good... 40% of my current circle of people that I regularly interact with this way. I've even gone to meet some of them IRL, but I can't really say that others would be as insane as I am for meeting absolute strangers on the internet IRL.

(2) The extroverted man would most likely fall prey to boredom with no means of mental stimulation, and thus they disregard [current year] social norms and actually try their hands at talking to random passersby on the flimsiest of excuses. Ever since I started taking public transit again, I've found myself in this situation on days where I forgot to bring my portable battery pack and my phone battery is functionally dead until I'm at work/home to recharge, and you'd be surprised as to how receptive people can be. I gave up my seat to an elderly woman on the bus a few months ago, and that led to a 30 minute long conversation that ended with her giving me a plastic crucifix and saying "God bless." I still have that plastic crucifix sitting in a drawer, and it still makes me smile.


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## ñññ (Oct 9, 2022)

Friends? Ha! I ain't no faggot. What more do whamen want me to have, huh? feelings? sunscreen? a bath?


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## PaleTay (Oct 10, 2022)

For the most part you don't, you might extend it but you aren't going to make many strong connections. Maybe if you do extreme sports or multi-day hikes with strangers but that's unrealistic to do with strangers. Might have some success with beer league sports.

If you're attractive and interesting women will approach you at the gym from time to time. Mostly you already have to know interesting people though, for example you'll make friends working on a movie, festival, or charity event.


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## ScamL Likely (Oct 10, 2022)

With a robodialer and identity theft.



John Furrman said:


> There’s a time and place for everything, knowing that doesn’t make me dysfunctional.


The time and place for furries is inside a gas chamber.


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## Danone (Nov 25, 2022)

It's kind of concerning how many people (specifically men) are just hurting in loneliness. It doesn't have to and if it does you really should start looking for things to be passionate about.


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## serious n00b (Nov 26, 2022)

Snusmumriken said:


> ’m a woman and even with it being well-known that I’m bi, it raises a lot less eyebrows when I spontaneously reach out to other women


... Unless you're telling everyone about that, how would they know? 


Dumpster dived waifu said:


> Not sure how anyone doesn't think he's become a piece of shit since he did that bitching about how livestreaming on Twitch is a hard job.


His fans are idiots. He's also an idiot, he was probably raised by idiots too.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Nov 26, 2022)

serious n00b said:


> His fans are idiots. He's also an idiot, he was probably raised by idiots too.


Wrong thread but I agree.


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## Flatline (Nov 26, 2022)

Danone said:


> It's kind of concerning how many people (specifically men) are just hurting in loneliness. It doesn't have to and if it does you really should start looking for things to be passionate about.


Stop being fat. Stop being ugly. Stop being poor. Stop working so much. 

Problem solved.


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## serious n00b (Nov 26, 2022)

Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 said:


> Wrong thread but I agree.


If I forget to reply to someone's post in its respective thread, I'll just drop off a reply when I next use the quote button.


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## Big Al's Famous Pork (Nov 26, 2022)

A real man will find ways to fill this need. Get a dog. Lift some weights. Take up a hobby.


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## Kel1 shi1 (Nov 26, 2022)

We don't unless you've got some friends from the past that still make time for you. Get good at being a lone wolf with occasional meetups.


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## Gig Bucking Fun (Nov 26, 2022)

Literally just be outgoing. There are many other guys like you that want more friends. Show interest in a friendship, and if you’re not severely autistic + have somewhat of a decent personality, they will reciprocate.


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## Biden's Chosen (Nov 26, 2022)

Danone said:


> It's kind of concerning how many people (specifically men) are just hurting in loneliness. It doesn't have to and if it does you really should start looking for things to be passionate about.


"Most men live lives of quiet desperation. And they go to the grave with the song still in them."

Anyone who needs a friend, just hit me up. The best friend you'll ever have. Competitive rates.


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## tankazoo (Nov 26, 2022)

Im older and dont see the need to make friends. The best part of no friends is you can go somewhere and leave on your own time. Its your life, your schedule, all yours all the time. I love it


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## RussianParasite (Nov 26, 2022)

As someone who has moved to multiple states/countries and had no problem making friends over the last ten years here is my expirence:

1) Work is your best bet for friends. Be nice and offer to take friends out to the bar. Almost 9/10 they will appreciate it and you are almost 100% guaranteed to make at least one friend this way. 

2) Go to gyms or play a sport. It’s not high school anymore and no one will make fun of you if you can’t keep up (outside of competitive leagues). They will respect you for coming out— even if you’re fat. They aren’t called “beer leagues” for nothing. 

3) Random hobby groups and churches are also alright for this, but I’d start with the first two in this list.

Oh, also just be nice and affable. If you’re someone that is hard to get along with you aren’t going to find friends in any of the above mentioned (or any) places.


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## Ewan McGregor (Nov 27, 2022)

You not only don't make friends as an adult, you lose the friends you had.

Friendship is for the young. As an adult, your mind should not be thinking of anything but working for megacorp and making megacorp richer.

It used to be that people married and had children, but that too has been jettisoned. Takes time and energy that would be better spent in Megacorp.

And when you retire, you can always opt in for government assisted suicide, since you're now an useless, broken husk of what was once a human being with no loved ones left alive.


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## Henry of Skalitz (Nov 27, 2022)

Step 1.) Find interest or experience that you have in common like Prior Service.
Step 2.) Talk nicely, BS, Tell a Joke or Funny story.
Step 3.) Sprinkle in some Shit Talk like when you see your friend daintily pick up a large mouth bass and Drop it.
"That's cause your little princess fingers are too sensitive and kind to ram you Thumb down that bass's throat and grab it!"

Tip: Try not to become too good friends or everyone will refer to you as "butt-buddies" which is still cool, but getting closer to gay. Another Tip, don't befriend Faggots, I don't mean homosexuals, I mean little fairies that are offended easily and look like they probably couldn't take a punch. Another Tip, Tomboys, Fuck Yeah, if you can find them anymore :-(.


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## Big Al's Famous Pork (Nov 27, 2022)

Henry of Skalitz said:


> Step 1.) Find interest or experience that you have in common like Prior Service.
> Step 2.) Talk nicely, BS, Tell a Joke or Funny story.
> Step 3.) Sprinkle in some Shit Talk like when you see your friend daintily pick up a large mouth bass and Drop it.



This is absurdly gay.


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## Henry of Skalitz (Nov 27, 2022)

Big Al's Famous Pork said:


> This is absurdly gay.


See look, you're already at Step 3. and in my Tip section you don't seem like a Faggot. Not to mention we have common interest in some of the same boards as Kiwis (Step 1), talking shit about cows(Step 2).

Already off to a Great start!

Shit, there was something I forgot to add. Making any friend takes time, shit doesn't happen over night.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Nov 28, 2022)

Henry of Skalitz said:


> Shit, there was something I forgot to add. Making any friend takes time, shit doesn't happen over night.


Not always, I once worked with disabled people(all kinds) and it took 60 minutes for me to become the best friend of an autistic guy(according to him). All I did was beat him at his childhoods Mario Kart over and over again while talking about lord of the rings, perfect sperg material.

One tip when starting to know people is to invite them or to invite yourself(within obvious limits).


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## Johnny Eastwood cash (Dec 3, 2022)

by going outside and finding someone with similar interests. Most of the lonely man in my experience use the internet too much


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## Your Favorite New Friend (Dec 4, 2022)

If you do some kind of activity that involves other people you will make friends, depending on how many new people you interact with.

It's not gay to have friends, but yeah it's pretty fucking gay to need male friends and want to make new male friends as a grown man. Spend time with your fucking kids or grandkids, or go make some if you don't have any.


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## PipTheAlchemist (Dec 4, 2022)

They don't. Simple as


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## PipTheAlchemist (Dec 4, 2022)

Forgot I already posted an answer in this thead. Oh fug


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## ten dollars off (Dec 5, 2022)

I've allowed my existing friendships to kind of wither. But if I'm out and run into someone wearing a t-shirt from a cool cult film I dig or chat with someone at a concert I get kind of excited. Maybe too excited. Sometimes it feels like the dude will mention their wife or girlfriend in a forced way because they think I'm homo and want to sex them in the butt. But I don't, honest!


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## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Dec 5, 2022)

Next time you see a stranger unzip your pants and pee on his shoes. Works every time.


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## Sy Sperling (Dec 6, 2022)

Johnny Eastwood cash said:


> by going outside and finding someone with similar interests.


One of the two of the best friends I ever had have way more different interest than I did (I like computers and games, he liked cars and auto racing), but we bonded over drinking and sharing our interests with each other. I taught him how to build a rig and we played vidya, he showed me Top Gear UK and took me to Laguna Seca.


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## urr13 account (Dec 6, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> Befriend your wife's/girlfriend's friend's husbands


This is one of the main ways guys over 30 make new friends, women are good at building social networks.

Meeting other men on your own isn't easy unless you are looking to bang them, the best options are to join something I guess. Local softball club, boxing gym, places where you can meet guys. Maybe get a part-time job as a way to meet the guys who work there all of this sounds very gay, but it's the best I can think of.


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## mfalkner (Dec 6, 2022)

Unless you have something someone else wants they won't want anything to do with you. Once they've got it from you, you're back to square one


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## AbyssGazer (Dec 6, 2022)

We live in the digital age. No matter how strange you are as a person, there will always be someone equally or more strange out there. Progressing a friendship from online to IRL is easier than you think if you live close enough to each other. This has been my way to both fun hang outs and great friendships.


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## PaleTay (Dec 6, 2022)

404 said:


> We live in the digital age. No matter how strange you are as a person, there will always be someone equally or more strange out there. Progressing a friendship from online to IRL is easier than you think if you live close enough to each other. This has been my way to both fun hang outs and great friendships.


But what if you don't? The biggest struggle for me has always been that I don't live near anyone but traffic is still terrible.
Did have one approach me recently who lives about 20 minutes away  (who thought it was 2) but life has been busy and work is far away.


urr13 account said:


> This is one of the main ways guys over 30 make new friends, women are good at building social networks.
> 
> Meeting other men on your own isn't easy unless you are looking to bang them, the best options are to join something I guess. Local softball club, boxing gym, places where you can meet guys. Maybe get a part-time job as a way to meet the guys who work there all of this sounds very gay, but it's the best I can think of.


What if there are no real clubs or activities nearby, and even female friends are having just as much trouble meeting people?


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## Pastor Martin Ssempa (Dec 6, 2022)

1) Make a note of every public restroom in your area. 
2) Visit each of them at night in strict rotation until you find a bathroom stall with a "friendship hole" at roughly groin height.
3) Enter the stall, leaving your briefcase outside the door. 
4) Wait until the stall connected to yours by said "friendship hole" is occupied.
5) Subtly slide your foot under the partition. Conversely, you can place two fingers on the rim of the "friendship hole".
6) Enjoy your new friend.


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## Executive Petrel (Dec 6, 2022)

Toss a paper heart knit to a rope at strangers.


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## Shamefur Dispray (Dec 6, 2022)

As an adult male I would say it's just not something I regularly think about, on the list of needs I think about consistently I'd say having friends is pretty low on the list.
But every guy is different I'm very anti-social and don't really need people around to enjoy myself, other guys might be the inverse of that.


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## FILTH Tourist (Dec 6, 2022)

I'm taking an online class right now and actually made two friends. Me and one guy actually hit it off almost immediately and have quickly became good friends. From playing online videogames to discussions about the pros and cons of apartheid dude is pretty fun to hang out with. Another friend is a girl from my class who actually moved to my country recently. So some weekends we go sight seeing.


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## AbyssGazer (Dec 7, 2022)

PaleTay said:


> But what if you don't? The biggest struggle for me has always been that I don't live near anyone but traffic is still terrible.
> Did have one approach me recently who lives about 20 minutes away  (who thought it was 2) but life has been busy and work is far away.


Well, keep looking and don't be afraid to travel a little bit. have a hard time understanding how 20 minutes travel time could ruin a (potential) friendship. Now I live in a small country so any countrymen I meet online are statistically likely to live within driving distance. If you're American maybe it's harder idk.


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## ReasonablyRetarded (Dec 7, 2022)

Depends on where you are but I would 1000% unironically recommend fishing as a social activity. I say depends on where you are because if you have a spot where noone ever comes it's not that social, but if there's a well known pond, lake or river then it very much can be. 
I also say depends because depending on where in the world you are, people who fish can be less than ideal. In my country it's a split between 60% just old & young people that are normal, 20% wiggers/gypsies & 20% annoying teenagers that spend more time bragging about their kit & playing loud music than actually fishing.

Only thing you have to do is be kind & respectful and in no time you'll strike up conversation with other fishermen. 
Most of my talks started with just a simple thumbs up & offering to take a picture for them of them and their catch whenever they hooked something. I never let the conversation go beyond surface level talk & deny offers of exchanging contact details because I go fishing to have some me time & do stuff on my own terms, but you absolutely could build friendships from it.


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## 56 others (Dec 7, 2022)

Best way to make male friends is to stop being a fucking loser. Lose weight, lift weights, make sure you go outside and do something every time you have a day off. Keep finding ways to earn more money so you can afford to do things (promotions, education, or hopping jobs).
More people will be willing to talk to you in the first place if you look like you have your shit together


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## rdrr (Dec 7, 2022)

Get into hobbies. Look around. There are chess, board games, fucking chopping firewood for church. There are things going on out there.

The thing is, other men often do not want to associate with other men. There has to be some commonality between men, and I am unsure what it is, I've encountered it, usually business, competition, or charity related, and then you can get some OK times going. Some guys like to want to frag the most in DOOM, win the most games of Chess. others want help building a house, chopping wood. Racing cars, repairing cars. Yeah, some shit you can do in the the comfort of your own home, 'ala DOOM or whatever, but, best to get out there and strike up a conversation.

Look at how many motherfuckers are buried in their phones. If given an opportunity, knock that fucker out of that universe and back into the living, however that goes, if appropriate. Sometimes people appreciate it. Works for me.


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## PaleTay (Dec 7, 2022)

404 said:


> Well, keep looking and don't be afraid to travel a little bit. have a hard time understanding how 20 minutes travel time could ruin a (potential) friendship. Now I live in a small country so any countrymen I meet online are statistically likely to live within driving distance. If you're American maybe it's harder idk.


Well 20 minutes is still really close, most are 45-60 minutes under ideal traffic and much worse under bad traffic. If you work different shifts you see the person less.


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## LurkTrawl (Dec 12, 2022)

Sounds kinda gay.


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## ₲litches (Dec 12, 2022)

I’ve met some good friends on Facebook groups. If you like any outdoor activities, those are good places to look. You see all kinds of posts like “interested in getting into <whatever activity> and wondering if anyone is interested in taking a newbie under your wing?  I’ll provide beer of your choice”.  A lot of guys that are way into whatever hobby are outgoing and  love growing their community.  
It’s basically the only reason I still have  a Facebook.


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## Butterschmalz (Dec 28, 2022)

Here s another take. You wont make friends as an adult. Get used to it. What does it make you then? A stranger among strangers, family aside. An immigrant in the country of your birth. Right? Just without the option that regular immigrants have (to go back to their home country).
Here s a piece on a Vietnamese man who made Senegal his home country. Its a bit more of an inspirational and motivational docu. Be like this man. A stranger among strangers. Or how to learn to swim in a sea of niggers.


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## cringe retard 9000 (Monday at 1:06 PM)

Well, I am still below 30 but I've found these ways to be particularly effective in eastern Europe:

Sports. Seriously, go out to your local football (or soccer for the ameritards), ask the guys playing there if you can join (most likely during the evening because if you'll do it before you will be labeled a pedo and nothing else) and as long as you aren't a complete 200kg moron you'll be able to make some friends just from playing with them.
Beer/other alcohol. Everybody (or almost everybody) is friendly after a couple of drinks.
Computer games. I've got some great friends that I've made by adding some random and playing some games with them, hell, I even had a 10+ people meet-up with people from all across the world that only knew each other thanks to playing CS 1.6 together
But yeah, if you are an introverted obese neet (and let's be real with each other, it's still KF we're talking on...) you might be fucked.


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## Yaoi Zowie (Monday at 10:48 PM)

Here are a handful of things that have served me well in my 30s:


Learn to have a genuine interest in other people and the stuff they like. A lot of nerds like to think they’re smarter than 99% everyone else, that small talk is beneath them, etc etc. Those guys suck and no one enjoys spending time with them. If you don’t have a natural interest in people but still want friends, fake it until you make it.


Everyone loves to hang with the guy who is always down for whatever, no matter the activity (and is cheerful about it). I’ve personally been served very well by adopting the attitude that I’ll try anything once within reason, even if I don’t think I’ll like it. I can’t count how many times I’ve ended up really enjoying doing something with friends that I was apprehensive about before trying it.


It’s a fact that attractive people are more socially successful even outside of romance. You don’t have to make your life about fitness and fashion, but having a mindset of continuous incremental self-improvement will make people naturally like you more and more.


Friends are like money: The more you have, the easier it is to make even more. A lonely guy in a new town trying to find that first really good local friend can be daunting and take a while. But once you get one, they invite you to meet their other friends, and then things snowball from there.


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## Exist0 (Yesterday at 9:47 AM)

I am white male, middle aged. Live in backwards ass country town.  I have the benefit of a redneck past.

I go to pub. Get drinks, get drunk. Head to beer garden and chat with other assholes.  Some are friend material, some need a headbutt.

Otherwise, I play DnD. Meet other nerds and talk nerdy to them.

I'm currently up for membership in the free masons. Might be friends there.

I spend time at the men's shelter and have been teaching a guy to read. We  now garden together. So yeah

Friends is hard, but there is friends. 
It's kinda like 4chan, mostly shit but a few nuggets of gold amongst it.

Being a musician it's easier I guess. You already have that shared interest when jamming with randos.

Blah blah blah, it's nots easy, but we try.


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## Mango Cobra (Yesterday at 10:28 AM)

As an adult male who recently turned 30 I know of only a few ways.

Get introduced to the new friends via another friend. This, tragically, will not help you if you moved to a new region and can and will backfire if you have a falling out with the mutual friend.
Engage in your hobbies at a public location. For example I'm a fan of Warhammer 40k and Gaslands, as well as EDH MTG. The best way to meet people with those three hobbies would be to go to an FLGS - Friendly Local Game Store - and find out what day they host Warhammer 40k, Gasland, and EDH groups.
Alternatively, you can join local Facebook groups for your interests. For example a "Greater Boston Warhammer 40k" group, and set up a game with some person on there. Keep doing that and strike up conversations, and you'll eventually have a group of friends with similar interests.
Post ads. No, seriously. Go to an FLGs and tell them you want to start a game of Pathfinder, D&D, Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, or whatever going. They'll generally allow you to post your contact information and the game you are looking to run, and you'll get two or three people who are interested reaching out to you. This, however, requires you to actually be willing and able to run a game.
Respond to ads. Same as above, really. Ask the FLGS if they have any groups playing a particular game and see if they are looking for new players.
Find out if any of your "Internet Fwends" live near you and see if they want to hang out.
Go to LARP events, I guess. I'm not  a fan of this option and I only know because a mutual friend dragged me to a couple events. Amtgarde, or some stickjock game like Hearthlight. The biggest problem with this is that it attracts aggressive troons, mentaly ill women and annoying whiny faggots so you'll end up encountering them. Games like Hearthlight - You dress up in armor and beat each other with (kinda heavy) foam weapons tends to attract trannies who are looking to assault people and get away with it, because you have to hit someone with force or else it doesn't count.. A lot of them target women specifically Games like Amtgarde - Attracts mentally ill women, whiny faggots, and less aggressive troons. The armor is more or less the same as games like Hearthlight, but because its a 'touch= hit' game you end up with a community of people who made weapons that weight as much as a literal feather. Oh and you have to deal with people who are playing as wizards or whatever, or organizers who gave themselves "special powers" only they can use.


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