# My plea to be unbanned from Kiwi Farms



## Null (Apr 14, 2019)

Dear Reader,

Hello! As you can see from the title, this message will be my humble plea to be request an unbanning from Kiwi Farms. I feel that my ban was not justified.Why do I feel this way? Because I've done nothing wrong. I am completely innocent and I am not a user who is constantly breaking the rules. I simply incurred the wrath of someone in a position of power.

I was banned because a terribly vindictive admin wasn't having a very good day today and lashed out at me for giving some excellent advice. While I agree that the admin of Kiwi Farms has every right to ban me, it is their website after all, banning people they don't like, particularly when they have broken no rules, sets up a very terrible precedent for the future of Kiwi Farms. The admin could simply start banning other people for the committing the crime of not being personally liked by the admin in said future even if said banned people, like myself, have committed no wrongs on the website.

Perhaps this has happened in the past too? That I cannot say... But if true then those actions were also unjustifiable and I heavily suggest this wrongful action against me thought over and, after some thought, overturned. We are adults and, as such, should act like adults. As adults, we should not banish people for not liking them. You guys like, or at least claim to like, free speech, no?

Included below will be a link to my profile to hasten the unbanning in case whoever reads this message does not know who I am:
https://kiwifarms.is/members/colonel-j.12768/

Thank you for reading.

Sincerely,
Colonel J (The Sheriff)


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## CWCissey (Apr 14, 2019)

I don't know who this guy is, but I think I want to...


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## Just A Butt (Apr 14, 2019)

CWCissey said:


> I don't know who this guy is, but I think I want to...



I don’t remember exactly which thread I saw this dude in, but it was one of the IBS offshoots. Tonka or Ralph, maybe even the Warski thread. 

He seemed a little exceptional, this ban is probably good for him.


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## ProgKing of the North (Apr 14, 2019)

I've seen several posts by him in the past few days, did he chimp out at some point when I was otherwise occupied?

Anyway, I think that son of a bitch gave me a "dumb" rating once, so good fucking riddance


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## wabbits (Apr 14, 2019)

Oh dear. And he gave us one of the most awesome meta threads ever. We should make this one awesome, too, in his honour.


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## 1Tonka_Truck (Apr 14, 2019)

CWCissey said:


> I don't know who this guy is, but I think I want to..


Colonel J's dox:





						Ethan Ralph / TheRalphRetort
					

So Ralph has said that Josh shouldn't have been de-platformed, though cozying up to Zoom showed that he really didn't care all that much, wonder if he'll say the same about the gunt retort, or is it okay 'cos they were taking the piss out of him?




					kiwifarms.net
				



Would you like to know more?


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## Null (Apr 14, 2019)




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## Just A Butt (Apr 14, 2019)

1Tonka_Truck said:


> Colonel J's dox:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Awesome! I was looking for that, but you beat me to it. 

Also, I love the Starship Troopers ref. 

Anyone know the post that got him banned?


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## RG 448 (Apr 14, 2019)

Who signs off with a nickname in parentheses after what is clearly another nickname?

Sincerely,
Testaclese (The Sphincter Deshrinkter) Maximus


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## J A N D E K (Apr 14, 2019)

I’ll pray for you


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## UE 558 (Apr 14, 2019)

MOO MOO IBS FAGGOT COW MOO MOO MOO NEEDS A HALAL NOW


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## RG 448 (Apr 14, 2019)

Just A Butt said:


> Anyone know the post that got him banned?


Sounds like he was probably annoying the wrong person in chat.

Sincerely, 
Testaclese (The Slut) Maximus


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## heathercho (Apr 14, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> I've seen several posts by him in the past few days, did he chimp out at some point when I was otherwise occupied?
> 
> Anyway, I think that son of a bitch gave me a "dumb" rating once, so good fucking riddance



Swallow your dumb rating like a good whore.

Free Col. J, he's like a low rent KOP.


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## LocalFireDept (Apr 14, 2019)

He should be happy because now we're all blocked from interacting with him. Also he was dumb lol


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## Wake me up (Apr 14, 2019)

I'm not trying to say I'm scared but he's a colonel and he might be back with an army so I'm super scared someone please hold me is this the end?



Spoiler



I feel that my ban was not justified.Why do I feel this way? Because I've done nothing wrong.


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## Normal_Guy (Apr 14, 2019)

That feeder bastard says he takes care of his flock but look at this heart breaking story, absolutely reprehensible. #UnbanMyNigga


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## Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. (Apr 14, 2019)

Oh shit, better remove the ban immediately! By God, can you imagine a world in which the Kiwi Farms isn't fair and the admin does whatever the fuck he wants?


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## PsychoNerd054 (Apr 14, 2019)

Wake me up said:


> I'm not trying to say I'm scared but he's a colonel and he might be back with an army so I'm super scared someone please hold me is this the end?



We also need to take back all of his dumb and autistic stickers, or else!


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Apr 14, 2019)

He shitted up a lot of threads. This day was inevitable. Also, is he permabanned or is it just temporary?


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## Remove Goat (Apr 14, 2019)

Good riddance, he just sucked Ralph and Zoom's dick.

@debatelimination is far more entertaining, and can actually raise a good point every now and then.


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## UE 558 (Apr 14, 2019)

Remove Goat said:


> Good riddance, he just sucked Ralph and Zoom's dick.
> 
> @debatelimination is far more entertaining, and can actually raise a good point every now and then.


Tfw a possible Sargon/Donga sock is more insightful than a Ralph fan


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## RG 448 (Apr 15, 2019)

IAmNotAlpharius said:


> He shitted up a lot of threads. This day was inevitable. Also, is he permabanned or is it just temporary?


I’m amazed I somehow missed this guy.

Sincerely, 
Testaclese Maximus (Banana Mammoth)


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## LofaSofa (Apr 15, 2019)

Where's the poll? ?


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## Pixy (Apr 15, 2019)

Is this the guy from that 'Slums of Elwood' forum who made an account here and got banned a few days ago?


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Apr 15, 2019)

Sackity said:


> Is this the guy from that 'Slums of Elwood' forum who made an account here and got banned a few days ago?



I’m not sure but I think he was on Ralph’s forum while it existed. He also posts on Twitter under the same name and handle (that’s not a good idea Colonel J). You may also know Colonel J from the fact he always went to bat for Ralph and the IBS crowd. He’s also famous for referring to everyone as they. To make this even more interesting he has distinct political beliefs lol.


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## ProgKing of the North (Apr 15, 2019)

That nose

More like (((The Sheriff)))


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## war has changed (Apr 15, 2019)

lmao i cant believe the day finally came.


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## wabbits (Apr 15, 2019)

1Tonka_Truck said:


> Colonel J's dox:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That's a lot younger than I would have guessed. He plays post-middleage.


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## Wake me up (Apr 15, 2019)

IAmNotAlpharius said:


>



Dude has Antifa and lolis right there on his Twitter bio, plus calls himself both Colonel and Sheriff there too? Welp that alone makes a banning. That's too much autism even for KF standards, and that's saying something.


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## A Welsh Cake (Apr 15, 2019)

Please unban Null, he is the owner of my favourite forum site.


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## UE 558 (Apr 15, 2019)

Let him come back but rename him “Property of Corey Barnhill”


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## 1Tonka_Truck (Apr 15, 2019)

Remove Goat said:


> Good riddance, he just sucked Ralph and Zoom's dick.


JF was his internet daddy for awhile as well.



Colonel J said:


> Here is some context to a story. For 3-5 days in August is 2018, JF went dark. No activity on Twitter or their discord. Me and other JF fans were concerned where Papa was so I, and others, perused their twitter for who they last spoke to.


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## 2.D. (Apr 15, 2019)

I always love how there are people who talk a boatload of shit and are super informal, but when they make an unban request, they suddenly attempt to write formally, which always results in high power levels.


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## Glad I couldn't help (Apr 15, 2019)

Was there a specific thing that the Sheriff of Gunttingham (also, he include his fake title in his reply, lol) did to get the banhammer, or was just the final accumulation of whinyness and austism?


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## chops (Apr 15, 2019)

> My plea to be unbanned from Kiwi Farms







> Colonel J (The Sheriff)





Edit: image size


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## Lord Akira (Apr 15, 2019)

Part of me wants him banned for having such retarded takes, but part of me wants him around as a punching bag, but he does derail the thread with his really terrible takes so it's up to you.


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## Nigel of Ukip (Apr 15, 2019)

IAmNotAlpharius said:


> I’m not sure but I think he was on Ralph’s forum while it existed. He also posts on Twitter under the same name and handle (that’s not a good idea Colonel J). You may also know Colonel J from the fact he always went to bat for Ralph and the IBS crowd. He’s also famous for referring to everyone as they. To make this even more interesting he has distinct political beliefs lol.
> 
> View attachment 726511



I've shopped his face once and added gunt glasses. He DMd me saying that picture is not him, but his friend.
Trust it or not, just adding lore.


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## Kamov Ka-52 (Apr 15, 2019)

They are low quality poster and I would not unban them


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## ComeoutandJULAY (Apr 15, 2019)

1Tonka_Truck said:


> JF was his internet daddy for awhile as well.



I mean, he is a potato, so it's more of a match made in heaven than anything else.



IAmNotAlpharius said:


> I’m not sure but I think he was on Ralph’s forum while it existed. He also posts on Twitter under the same name and handle (that’s not a good idea Colonel J). You may also know Colonel J from the fact he always went to bat for Ralph and the IBS crowd. He’s also famous for referring to everyone as they. To make this even more interesting he has distinct political beliefs lol.
> 
> View attachment 726511



He also white-knighted The Quartering of all people, which struck me as odd because I thought tranny faggots were known for hating Hambles in Shambles's guts.


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## tuscangarder (Apr 15, 2019)

We need the counter opinions.


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## Doc Cassidy (Apr 15, 2019)

Well, are you going to unban him?


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## Perspicacity (Apr 15, 2019)

Let him come back but tell him he needs a minimum of 141 characters in each reply, his twitter speak and few word responses are particularly egregious. If your not saying anything, don't post it. Some points to keep him around. He also has cow potential, gives a small daily dose of cringe, and is an opposing viewpoint all of which keep a thread interesting.


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## ComeoutandJULAY (Apr 15, 2019)

I'd say bring him back with a special banner under his name that says "Null's Bottom Bitch."


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Apr 15, 2019)

ComeoutandJULAY said:


> I'd say bring him back with a special banner under his name that says "Null's Bottom Bitch."



That and maybe make this a halal thread?


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## Squire of Gothos (Apr 15, 2019)

> Included below will be a link to my profile to hasten the unbanning in case whoever reads this message does not know who I am:
> https://kiwifarms.is/members/colonel-j.12768/
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> ...


Who? 

Oh it's the unironic DSP fan that gives him money even though he doesn't watch him live and gives Ralph money to fuel his alcoholism... well if he's not here he might join a gang or something, which actually might help him build social skills honestly.


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## Wake me up (Apr 15, 2019)

Lord Akira said:


> Part of me wants him banned for having such exceptional takes, but part of me wants him around as a punching bag



This is the fucking Internet, son: for each exceptional banned, another 10 willing punching bags will join KF to derp the site up. If anything, we should be trying to keep them out, not get them back in. Exceptional troublemakers are not a rare commodity.


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## zyclonPD (Apr 16, 2019)

Colon J said:


> Dear Reader,
> 
> I feel that my ban was not justified.Why do I feel this way? Because I've done nothing wrong. I am completely innocent...
> 
> ...


Looks like an open and shut case to me.

"I feel my ban is unfair... They have every right to ban me".

Edit:
As one of the couple people who actually came here from Ralph's TRR forums I do have some minor back history and lore on him. It's nothing he hasn't displayed here already though except he really likes to debate in favor of children being able to consent and that sex with minors is not harmful to them.

Figured I would add that here as some personal context I've learned from dealing with him in November and December 2018.


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## Draza (Apr 16, 2019)

zyclonPD said:


> Looks like an open and shut case to me.
> 
> "I feel my ban is unfair... They have every right to ban me".
> 
> ...


Ahhh a pedophile as well. No wonder he donates to Zoom.


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## Goku 1000000 O (Apr 16, 2019)

zyclonPD said:


> As one of the couple people who actually came here from Ralph's TRR forums I do have some minor back history and lore on him. It's nothing he hasn't displayed here already though except he really likes to debate in favor of children being able to consent and that sex with minors is not harmful to them.


I would've bullied him more had I known about this. Definitely explains the JF nut hugging.


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## Rabbi Yehonatan (Apr 16, 2019)

Good night sweet prince. With you gone nobody remains to give his based yet bluepilled contrarian take.

F for @Colonel J.


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## DidYouJustSayThat (Apr 16, 2019)

Colonel J may have instigated the code red in many a thread, but the deaths on these threads by incredulity at the pure retardarion probably saved lives and provided much laughter. 

His existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, is funny! You don't want the truth, because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want him smearing shit on that wall. You need him on that wall. We use words like "shitposting", "keks", "exceptionalism". We use these words as the backbone of a life spent making fun of something. You use them as a punchline. He has neither the time nor the inclination to explain himself to men who rise and sleep under the drizzle of the very milk that he provides, and then questions the manner in which he provides it! One would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way.


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## instythot (Apr 16, 2019)

IAmNotAlpharius said:


> I’m not sure but I think he was on Ralph’s forum while it existed. He also posts on Twitter under the same name and handle (that’s not a good idea Colonel J). You may also know Colonel J from the fact he always went to bat for Ralph and the IBS crowd. He’s also famous for referring to everyone as they. To make this even more interesting he has distinct political beliefs lol.
> 
> View attachment 726511



Well, those pics certainly solve the "weird insistence on using they for everyone" mystery


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## Smarty Pants (Apr 16, 2019)

Oh thank god, he's gone.


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## Biggestniggest1844 (Apr 16, 2019)

Maybe this will be the push he needs to get help and get his life in order, either that or jump off a bridge.

Edit: wasn't he also banned off ralph's forum (before he pulled the plug on it) for being a room temperature IQ faggot too? Fucker doesn't learn does he?


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## Done (Apr 16, 2019)

Doc Cassidy said:


> Well, are you going to unban him?


There's no _Rules of Nature _embed and no poll, so I assume it isn't up for discussion to begin with.


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## Wake me up (Apr 16, 2019)

neural said:


> There's no _Rules of Nature _embed and no poll, so I assume it isn't up for discussion to begin with.



I was under the impression this was one of those fun post-fact halal threads. The kind each of us can look forward to some day


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## Richardo Retardo (Apr 16, 2019)

@Null  According to my scholarly interpretation of the hadiths and Islamic jurist prudence, it is of the utmost important that you unban him this instance! In the eyes of Allah, all men deserve a second chance so that they may be judged, Inshnullah wa Inshalla.


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## UE 558 (Apr 16, 2019)

Richardo Retardo said:


> @Null  According to my scholarly interpretation of the hadiths and Islamic jurist prudence, it is of the utmost important that you unban him this instance! In the eyes of Allah, all men deserve a second chance so that they may be judged, Inshnullah wa Inshalla.
> View attachment 727938


Listen to Immam Barnhill or he’ll bang your preteen cousin


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## Sam Losco (Apr 16, 2019)

Can't say I'm sad to see him banned. His constant use of they/them pronouns for everyone was annoying as shit.


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## Smug Chuckler (Apr 16, 2019)

I've heard this guy calling on Ralph's stream, didn't have anything to say other than wanting to take a shit.


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## Perspicacity (Apr 16, 2019)

Squire of Gothos said:


> Who?
> 
> Oh it's the unironic DSP fan that gives him money even though he doesn't watch him live and gives Ralph money to fuel his alcoholism... well if he's not here he might join a gang or something, which actually might help him build social skills honestly.


Wait a second.... an unironic DSP fan? Also a paypig for Ralph? Was also a paypig for JF? Well DSP has like 50-75 true fans on the planet. I knew he was a Ralph paypig which is a soon to be extinct species..... And he calls JF papa and likely still paypigs for him too..... I mean someone like that has to be 1 in 1000000. We have a very rare breed of autism that may not survive for much longer, depending on the age of his parents.... Should we really let such a rare specimen go? I didn't realize how exceptional he actually was, I mean on a curve his posts actually weren't that bad looking at the data you've all provided.


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## Kamikaze (Apr 16, 2019)

Am I the only one who kinda liked Colonel J?  His entire existence was like watching a baby elephant try to walk.

EDIT:


zyclonPD said:


> It's nothing he hasn't displayed here already though except he really likes to debate in favor of children being able to consent and that sex with minors is not harmful to them.


Never mind, fuck him.


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## ATaxingWoman (Apr 16, 2019)

His avatar kind of gave it away that he was a sperg


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## Fish-Eyed Fool (Apr 16, 2019)

I fucking knew Colonel J would get his ass banned sooner or later.  I love that he wrote this though, included "The Sheriff" in his signature line, and unironically imagined he wouldn't just get laughed at.  But he never could dial back the tard and stop shitting up threads for too long, which is why he gets thrown out of forum after forum. 

And you can almost predict  his response.  I'll bet he writes back to Null complaining about how this is censorship and we all just couldn't handle his big-brained takes.  "wat about muh free speech, Nool!"


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## 000% (Apr 16, 2019)

I'll miss the retard. His autism was entertaining in small doses and it was fun watching the mental gymnastics he would go through to defend his substitute father figures. That and it always astounded me how dense someone could be.

On the other hand, his choice in anime girls is fucking bad, so not seeing that is a plus.


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## Degenerated (Apr 17, 2019)

They're a very special brand of autism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlzWACm1HP0


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## FakeishNamedicoot (Apr 17, 2019)

I think I learned something from this. Don't be a faggot.


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## Captain Manning (Apr 17, 2019)

Good riddance. Guy crapped up every thread.

He's was in Nick's stream chat a couple of nights ago saying that Nick is wrong for associating with Kiwifarms.

And now he's asking to be unbanned from the very site he thinks nobody should associate with.


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## El Porko Fako (Apr 17, 2019)

Only unban him if there's enough content to make a thread on him. If he turns out to have a funny backstory, make a thread and then unban him to shriek into the void.

Otherwise, fuck'em. He was painfully unfunny and added nothing of value to discussions.


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## AnOminous (Apr 17, 2019)

He's like the only person I have blocked other than @debatelimination just for being an absolute fucking retard so good riddance.


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## 1Tonka_Truck (Apr 17, 2019)

AnOminous said:


> He's like the only person I have blocked other than @debatelimination just for being an absolute fucking exceptional individual so good riddance.


Debatelimination is unironically a better poster. At least in the last month or two.


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## Jaimas (Apr 17, 2019)

Colonel J had some of the most fucking embarassing cringe behavior seen in basically every thread he entered. When he wasn't dick-riding Zoom or shitting up the Weeb Wars subforum, he was doing Kengle-tier faggotry in streams or dragging Internet Famous shit to other subforums.

The fact he did this _does_ show significant unintentional comedy potential though. Kind of reminds me of Solidmario arguing with himself for four pages.


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## Captain Manning (Apr 17, 2019)

With Debatelimination, you can at least make the argument he has a shtick. 

This guy is just 100% _all natural_ faggot.


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## Nobleberry (Apr 17, 2019)

Well, I'm still pretty new here and getting my baby kiwi legs working so, just spitballing...

Can he be unbanned for a day or two and then arbitrarily banned again for laughs? Maybe this process could be repeated several times?


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## Tobias (Apr 17, 2019)

I for one am not shocked because this is how he got himself banned on other forums.


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## AnOminous (Apr 17, 2019)

Nobleberry said:


> Well, I'm still pretty new here and getting my baby kiwi legs working so, just spitballing...
> 
> Can he be unbanned for a day or two and then arbitrarily banned again for laughs? Maybe this process could be repeated several times?



Null should make him suck his dick and then not unban him.


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## Least Concern (Apr 17, 2019)

I think this dude was trying _very_ hard to get using "they" as a pronoun even when you knew someone's gender a thing. Like if he kept doing it himself, it would eventually catch on and spread to others. Made his posts hard to read sometimes. (Not that I'm not trying to do the same thing with "yang.")

 Other than that, he was pretty much a normal everyday sped on the Internet.


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## Slartibartfast (Apr 17, 2019)

I've not been a member long, but I've lurked for a while, and my read on him was always that he was an incompetent troll. He seemed to swing wildly from intentionally vague to exceptionally dense in his posts, while seemingly taking the contrary opinions of other members with rarely any argument to explain it. I also found his use of "they" deeply annoying, on a personal level, but I got the impression this was done to rile people up (explaining why he never answered when asked why he did it).

If his ban is up for debate, I've got no horse in that race; nothing of value is lost in his ban, but nothing of value is gained either. He is an occasional conversational irritant, but has potential to earn his own thread simply in how he behaves about and around the site. Given the right cultivation, he could be the next Bryan Dunn.


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## Disrespected Pronouns (Apr 17, 2019)

Outside of the "they" shit and the ice cold takes, Colonel J is doubly pathetic because the majority of his time here centered around him deeply deeply caring about the shitty ass Ralph Retort forums. He first came here to complain that the his posts were being edited over there, treating KF like it was tech support. Then when the forum got deleted and he though Ralph did it, he started going hard on him and became the number one signal booster for Ralph's chief alog Dispatch. Then when he found out that it was Null who pulled the plug he immediately did an about face and started trying to show how Rlaph was 100% cool and how we just couldn't "take an L." Most of the constant shitting up of threads and talking shit about this place is because he's mad about a throw away backup forum with a dozen people on it.


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## Lord Akira (Apr 17, 2019)

El Porko Fako said:


> Only unban him if there's enough content to make a thread on him. If he turns out to have a funny backstory, make a thread and then unban him to shriek into the void.
> 
> Otherwise, fuck'em. He was painfully unfunny and added nothing of value to discussions.


He's already been doxed on here and by the cowboys multiple times. He's not really interesting, just an effeminate-looking sped that's into far-right politics (He voted for Patrick Little supposedly and probably why he clings to JF's nuts) and ardently defends his paypig masters with very cold and retarded takes.


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## Jaded Optimist (Apr 17, 2019)

AnOminous said:


> Null should make him suck his dick and then not unban him.


So like the dick sucking scene from Hateful Eight?


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## UE 558 (Apr 18, 2019)

I noticed this gay cow mooing last night in Nool’s Killstream appearance


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## not william stenchever (Apr 18, 2019)

Now that he's gone, we have to ask ourselves, what did we learn?


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## RG 448 (Apr 18, 2019)

zyclonPD said:


> except he really likes to debate in favor of children being able to consent and that sex with minors is not harmful to them.


Weird.  Those types usually can’t wait to throw that shit on the table the moment they find a topic they can segue into it.

Sincerely,
Testaclese Maximus (The Muff Mangler)


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Apr 19, 2019)

J A N D E K said:


> I’ll pray for you


I understood that reference


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## Strelok (Apr 19, 2019)

This right here is precisely why KF should take a page out of other forums books and have a (view only for non mods/subjects) public ban appeal board, so we can all laugh at these people a second time.


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## AF 802 (Apr 19, 2019)

I'd ban Colonel J just for having such shit anime tastes alone. That's right, you heard me.


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## BlancoMailo (Apr 20, 2019)

Looks like we have an "official response":

https://www.scribd.com/document/406604894/A-Response-to-My-Plea-to-Be-Unbanned-From-Kiwi-Farms (can't be archived)


PDF and Text Downloads because the only thing more cancerous than that site is his choice of fonts


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## AnOminous (Apr 20, 2019)

BlancoMailo said:


> Looks like we have an "official response":
> 
> https://www.scribd.com/document/406604894/A-Response-to-My-Plea-to-Be-Unbanned-From-Kiwi-Farms (can't be archived)
> 
> ...



Why the fuck would this moron post a PDF like I'm reading that shit.

I hope he gets raped and murdered.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Apr 20, 2019)

AnOminous said:


> Why the fuck would this moron post a PDF like I'm reading that shit.
> 
> I hope he gets raped and murdered.


He wrote everything in that gay cursive font too.  I hope Chris and Saddam team up to gas him.


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## ProgKing of the North (Apr 20, 2019)

He could post a video of himself getting assblasted by a BBC while listening to showtunes and it would be less gay than that font


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## Just A Butt (Apr 20, 2019)

Interesting that he doesn’t refute being a pedo. But found it more important to deny giving Zoom money... hmmm.


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## Slartibartfast (Apr 20, 2019)

Can we ban him from using Word for that font choice?


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## Wake me up (Apr 20, 2019)

We should get Null banned for not making that font the default one for the site


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## I Love Beef (Apr 21, 2019)

Dear Colonel J,

Fuck you and fuck your exceptional black loli pedo ass back to your shit fucking youtube channel. If your dumb bitchass can't take the time to study why the Weeb Wars are they are now, then it's no wonder why your stupid whiny entitled fuckfaced self got banned right the fuck out. 

Don't come back, and if you do, we'll put your 5 cent ass where it belongs to make change.

Sincerely signed and another fuck you too, I Love Beef.


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## Wendy Carter (Apr 21, 2019)

Dear Colonel J,

Fuck off, sped.

With best regards,
Wendy_Carter (The Notorious B.I.G.)


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## Jill Kews (Apr 21, 2019)

If this guy's a troll, he's easily the most incompetent and unfunny I've ever met. If he's legit, he's a poster child for why we need to bring back asylums. Either way he was a dumb fucking faggot who never contributed anything interesting and couldn't even do us the decency of having amusing dox.

Also he's an advocate for pedophilia.

As they say upon bans at a slightly more politically focused website:

EAT SHIT NIGLET


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## El Porko Fako (Apr 21, 2019)

BlancoMailo said:


> Looks like we have an "official response":
> 
> https://www.scribd.com/document/406604894/A-Response-to-My-Plea-to-Be-Unbanned-From-Kiwi-Farms (can't be archived)
> 
> ...








Lol. He has fans? What fans?

I wish I could congratulate @Bryan Dunn for being dethroned for most pathetic "please unban me" apology I've ever seen, but he got banned this week too.


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## Carcinogenesis (Apr 21, 2019)

He has been doing this dumb contrarian shtick for YEARS, according to people on the League of Legends forum.  He'll latch on to another community that'll tolerate him more just so that he can continue getting attention.  Banning him was for the best.


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## Kamikaze (Apr 23, 2019)

https://www.scribd.com/document/406604894/A-Response-to-My-Plea-to-Be-Unbanned-From-Kiwi-Farms 





> I simply care for the truth.  Sometimes the truth destroys our headcanons.  We shouldn't be upset at the person who restores order, or at least tries to, to our minds.


Colonel J is just a humble truth merchant.  KF BTFO.


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## Mr. Pestilence (Apr 27, 2019)

Man for all the whining he did about being banned here, he sure is quick to report anyone that makes fun of him. Woke up to this after spending the night bullying him for flagging Nick Rekieta's Twitter.


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## Washington Post (Apr 28, 2019)

This guy is incredibly pathetic. If you take into consideration the multiple forums he's contributed to and the number of subthreads he shits up, as well as the hours he spends listening to livestreams, in the chat trying to make the same stupid points and call into shows, it'd be amazing if he had something else going on in his life such as a job, classes or anything else productive. While I got some amusement from him, the best thing would be for him to be banned entirely from the Internet. 

I used Ralph's forum and I can confirm that he shilled for ending the age of consent and even said that anyone with an anime avatar was a pedophile. When I asked him if that included him, since he had such an avatar, he didn't respond as usual. Troll or not, any community is better off without him.


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## DuckSucker (Apr 30, 2019)

I think in like elementary school, the first time youre asked to submit a typed report, the teacher goes out of their way to implore you to NOT use these gay fonts and just stick to Arial and Times New Roman. I guess this guy missed that day.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Apr 30, 2019)

My favorite ban was still the tranny who said he'd "pray for null" in chat.


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## Stoneheart (May 30, 2019)

the only reason for a full ban should be realy bad spamming. 
if somebody tries to be cool in his own thread, just ban him(or her) from their thread.


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## IamnottheNSA (May 31, 2019)

BlancoMailo said:


> Looks like we have an "official response":
> 
> https://www.scribd.com/document/406604894/A-Response-to-My-Plea-to-Be-Unbanned-From-Kiwi-Farms (can't be archived)
> 
> ...


A month too late, but here's the unfucked version.


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## Immortal Technique (Jun 13, 2019)

I guess faggots always gonna faggot:





			https://twitter.com/ColonelJ_LoL/status/1139260614394564609
		









						Colonel J (The Sheriff) on Twitter: "@BrendanEich Thank goodness you …
					

archived 13 Jun 2019 20:08:55 UTC




					archive.fo


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## Kosher Salt (Jun 13, 2019)

Immortal Technique said:


> I guess faggots always gonna faggot:
> View attachment 798898
> 
> 
> ...


Is there some context for this? I threw some BAT in @Null's direction just a few days ago.


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## Wendy Carter (Jun 13, 2019)

Kosher Salt said:


> Is there some context for this? I threw some BAT in Null's direction just a few days ago.


You can no longer send BAT's to Null directly through Brave. Look here for some very basic info. Also, I don't recommend @'ing Null unless you have vital info.


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## Kamov Ka-52 (Jun 14, 2019)

Immortal Technique said:


> I guess faggots always gonna faggot:
> View attachment 798898
> 
> 
> ...


Says the guy who begged to be unbanned.


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## BlancoMailo (Jun 14, 2019)

EurocopterTigre said:


> Says the person who begged to be unbanned.



Same pattern repeating from his behavior towards Metokur. Spend months begging for his internet daddy's attention and then start alogging after being ignored. Like a spurned ex-girlfriend.


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## AnOminous (Jun 14, 2019)

Wendy_Carter said:


> You can no longer send BAT's to Null directly through Brave. Look here for some very basic info. Also, I don't recommend @'ing Null unless you have vital info.



Actually, you can.  He's just locked out of some of the other features.  You can still send BAT you get from looking at ads to the site manually, so it's not yet a "completely uninstall and give up" situation.


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## Wendy Carter (Jun 15, 2019)

AnOminous said:


> Actually, you can.  He's just locked out of some of the other features.  You can still send BAT you get from looking at ads to the site manually, so it's not yet a "completely uninstall and give up" situation.


Yes, I know now it's not as bad as it seems. I posted this when Null was still streaming about this just to give a very basic understanding of what was going on, and it is outdated ever since he gave his full, more detailed account of the situation.


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## AnOminous (Jun 15, 2019)

Wendy_Carter said:


> Yes, I know now it's not as bad as it seems. I posted this when Null was still streaming about this just to give a very basic understanding of what was going on, and it is outdated ever since he gave his full, more detailed account of the situation.



It's unfortunately actually worse than I thought when I said that and Null updated it again.


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## BlancoMailo (Jun 15, 2019)

Well lookie here, Metokur hops over to dlive and several minutes before he even mentioned setting up a streamlabs, colonel Paypig managed to already throw money at it.


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## Wendy Carter (Jun 16, 2019)

BlancoMailo said:


> Well lookie here, Metokur hops over to dlive and several minutes before he even mentioned setting up a streamlabs, colonel Paypig managed to already throw money at it.
> 
> View attachment 802447


Speaking of DLive, Colonel J was banned by Null on stream immediately on sight, no questions asked:




Your browser is not able to display this video.







Also, a long while ago he appeared in the comment section of this video. I left a comment mocking him for his request to be unbanned, and he replied with this:





His YT account is now unavailable. Why, you ask?





Don't know if he's thread-worthy or not, but he sure pops up a lot.


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## Odie Esty (Jul 22, 2019)

unban this diiiiiiick


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## Kab (Jul 23, 2019)

Colonel J
					






					www.youtube.com
				



This is Colonel J's new YouTube account. He was in the comment section of an Anime Outsiders video, complaining about a Morrakiu song.
I really wanted to attach his posts on the TRR forums, defending Sargon's "depends on the child" comments and being a big pedo, but I lost the screenshots. I'm sure someone else has them somewhere.


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## The biggest iron (Jul 24, 2019)

Kab said:


> Colonel J
> 
> 
> 
> ...




This is what I have, plus one from the Farms.
@zyclonPD may have more. I know he had an account there.


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## Takodachi (Jul 25, 2019)

Well fuck. I always thought he was just a paypig. Didn't think he was this much of a fucking retard.


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## Kab (Jul 25, 2019)

The biggest iron said:


> View attachment 856460
> View attachment 856454
> This is what I have, plus one from the Farms.
> @zyclonPD may have more. I know he had an account there.


Yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it. I remembered it was something like that, but didn't want to say in case I was misremembering. I guess I'll keep looking for that screenshot of his original post about 11 year old children having sex.

Update: Found it.


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## AlexJonesGotMePregnant (Jul 25, 2019)

He may as well be a false flag lol


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## Ellesse_warrior (Jul 30, 2019)

Twitter
		


Another kiwi sent me this the other day. Apparently I annoyed him by mixing him up with the sheriff of YouTube because kept noticing his name in Montagraphs chat. (I actually feel bad for that now after reading this because the sheriff of YouTube is nowhere near as exceptional as colonel j).  
Anyway I found it funny he felt the need to call me out on Twitter, I'm not on Twitter. Maybe he's a little upset that Monty ignored his white knighting.


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## L. Duse (Aug 23, 2020)

Nice show! 



			https://youtu.be/LLrruYIJpMk
		


2:01:30


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## ddlloo (Aug 23, 2020)

Colonial J has legit autism.
To the extent they banned him from the League of Legends forums.


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## Haramburger (Aug 24, 2020)

ddlloo said:


> Colonial J has legit autism.
> To the extent they banned him from the League of Legends forums.


That's not very hard. One "nigger" or "faggot" and you are toast. This is the game that _removed_ chat from the game client.


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