# ITT: Copy & Paste a Movie Synopsis from wikipedia and replace the characters with Kiwi Farms Users



## Somar (Nov 13, 2017)

Yesterday I posted in this thread https://kiwifarms.net/threads/write-yourself-into-a-hallmark-christmas-special.36404/, in which I literally just copy and pasted The Room's plot synopsis and replaced the characters with other KF users. And it got me thinking on how that can be it's very own topic, it's a very shitty idea so it's perfect. Basically just look up any movie on wikipedia, copy and paste the plot and take out the actual name of the characters and replace them with any kf user you want. I'll start things off with my own version of a classic movie.

A honey bee named @Kiwi Jeff has recently graduated from college and is about to enter the hive's Honex Industries honey-making workforce alongside his best friend @Y2K Baby. @Kiwi Jeff is initially excited to join the workforce, but his courageous, non-conformist attitude emerges upon discovering that his choice of job will never change once picked. Later, the two bees run into a group of Pollen Jocks, bees who collect pollen from flowers outside the hive. The Jocks offer to take @Kiwi Jeff outside the hive to a flower patch, and he accepts. While on his first pollen-gathering expedition in New York City, @Kiwi Jeff gets lost in the rain, and ends up on the balcony of a human florist named @Somari1996. Upon noticing @Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996's boyfriend @A Hot Pizza attempts to squash him, but @Somari1996 gently catches and releases @Kiwi Jeff outside the window, saving his life.
@Kiwi Jeff later returns to express his gratitude to @Somari1996, breaking the sacred rule that bees are not supposed to communicate with humans. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 develop a close bond, bordering on attraction, and spend time together frequently. Later, while @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 are walking through a grocery store, @Kiwi Jeff is terrified to discover that the humans have been stealing and eating the bees' honey for centuries. He decides to journey to Honey Farms, which supplies the grocery store with its honey. Furious at the poor treatment of the bees in the hive, including the use of bee smokers to subdue the colony, @Kiwi Jeff decides to sue the human race to put an end to the exploitation of bees.
@Kiwi Jeff's mission attracts wide attention from bees and humans alike, and hundreds of people show up to watch the trial. Although @Kiwi Jeff is up against tough defense attorney @AnOminous the trial's first day goes well. That evening, @Kiwi Jeff is having dinner with @Somari1996 when @A Hot Pizza shows up. @Somari1996 leaves the room, and @A Hot Pizza expresses to @Kiwi Jeff that he hates the pair spending time together. When @Kiwi Jeff leaves to use the restroom, @A Hot Pizza ambushes @Kiwi Jeff and attempts to kill him, only for @Somari1996 to intervene and break up with @A Hot Pizza. The next day at the trial, @AnOminous taunts the bees, which causes @Y2K Baby to sting him. @Y2K Baby's actions jeopardize the bees' credibility and put his life in danger, though he manages to survive. While visiting @Y2K Baby in the hospital, @Kiwi Jeff notices two people smoking outside, and is struck by inspiration. The next day, @Kiwi Jeff wins the trial by exposing the jury to the cruel treatment bees are subjected to, particularly the smoker, and humans are banned from stealing honey from bees ever again.
Having lost the trial, @AnOminous cryptically warns @Kiwi Jeff that a negative shift in the balance of nature is imminent. As it turns out, the sudden, massive stockpile of honey has put every bee out of a job, including the vitally important Pollen Jocks. As a result, without anything to pollinate them, the world's flowers slowly begin to die out. Before long, the only flowers left with healthy pollen are those in a flower parade called "The Tournament of Roses" in Pasadena, California. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 travel to the parade and steal a parade float, which they load onto a plane to be delivered to the bees so they can re-pollinate the world's flowers. When the plane's pilot and copilot are knocked unconscious, @Somari1996 is forced to land the plane, with help from @Kiwi Jeff and the bees from @Kiwi Jeff's hive.
Armed with the pollen of the last flowers, @Kiwi Jeff and the Pollen Jocks manage to reverse the damage and save the world's flowers, restarting the bees' honey production. Humans and bees are seen working together, and certain brands of honey are now "bee-approved". @Kiwi Jeff becomes a member of the Pollen Jocks, helping to pollinate the world's plants. @Kiwi Jeff is also seen running a law firm inside @Somari1996's flower shop, titled "Insects at Law", handling disputes between animals and humans. The film ends with @Kiwi Jeff flying off to a flower patch with the Pollen Jocks.


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

This thread is going to be sooooooooo good, i can now make even dumber posts.



> (From Smiley movie)
> 
> The plot revolves around the titular Kiwi killer, the subject of an Internet myth. Supposedly, if a person on a Chatroulette-style website types the phrase "JULAY" three times, their chat partner will be murdered by a killer called Kiwi, so named because he frequently browses around Kiwifarm website.
> 
> ...


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## Henry Wyatt (Nov 13, 2017)

Grown ups 2

After moving his family back to his hometown to be with his friends and their weens, @Dynastia  finds out that between old lowcows, new trolls, schizo bus drivers, drunk cops on skis, and 400 costumed lesbian sleepover crashers sometimes crazy follows you.


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## bearycool (Nov 13, 2017)

AND WHY IN THE GREAT FUCK WAS I NOT CASTED IN THIS MASTERPIECE?

It's hip to fuck bees


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## A Hot Potato (Nov 13, 2017)

Sounds wonderfully stupid.

I'll do my plot when I have the time.


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

Spoiler: stupid shit so far



In the stereotypical high school community of Kiwi High in Land of KiwiFarms, attractive @Feline Darkmage, a popular cheerleader, separates from her talented football star but slacker boyfriend, @AnOminous. After Ominous discovers that Feline is now dating timid and weird @timecop just to spite him, one of Ominous's friends, @yawning sneasel, suggests seeking Retributive justice by turning @CasualSeppuku, a "uniquely rebellious girl", into the prom queen.

Ominous attempts to court CasualSeppuku's love, but faces adversity from his own sister, @SteelPlatedHeart, who is sexually attracted to him; Casual's unnoticed admirer and best friend, @Kiwi Jeff; and memories from his past football career. Steel eventually assists her brother by slightly altering Casual's appearance (by simply removing her glasses and ponytail), instantly making her drop dead gorgeous.

Meanwhile, Casual's younger brother, @CatParty, and his friends @ReanimatorEquis and @Testaclese Maximus, make a pact to lose their virginity by graduation despite still being in their freshman year. CatParty tries to impress his longtime crush, the beautiful yet perverted @Valiant with a love letter. Testaclese says that he does not have a chance with her, mockingly stating, "Keep dreaming!"

As the prom draws near, Ominous draws infamy among his peers after he fails to lead his football team to victory at the state championship game the year before. The situation is further worsened when Sneasel tricks Ominous into telling Casual about his plan to spite Feline by pretending to whisper the secret bet in Casual's ear, causing her to immediately leave Ominous in anger. During prom night, Sneasel and Casual go together; a jealous Ominous and Steel have a dance-off with Sneasel and Casual, with Steel dancing in a sexual manner. Casual runs off crying. Meanwhile, CatParty and his friends are having a lousy time at the prom until Valiant arrives and CatParty gives her the letter (to which she responds that she does not have sex with every loser who does such, but will give them handjobs), horny Testaclese hooks up with the equally horny international student @Alan Pardew, and Equis later hooks up with Steel after sharing a romantic and rather odd connection.

Ominous is awarded prom king and @Null reads out that the votes for prom queen are tied. Everyone thinks that it is between Casual and Feline, but they are shocked to find that @Meowthkip and @Pina Colada, conjoined twins, win prom queen. During the traditional prom king and queen dance, Casual supposedly left with Sneasel to go to a hotel.

Ominous goes to the hotel room where he finds sneasel having wild sex with a boy, but is shocked to find that it is @Dynastia and not Casual nor Feline, while timecop videotapes them with his pants down. Sneasel tells Ominous that Casual "ran home to her daddy" and that Feline is a thot. Ominous coldly punches Sneasel and Dynastia, knocking them unconscious for their part in casual's humiliation. He then punches timecop for "being really cuckold", afterwards he runs to Casual's house only to learn from her father that she is going to Deviantart for art school.

Ominous arrives at the airport and confronts her before she can board the plane, but uses a plethora of clichéd lines from other films (such as _She's All That_, _Cruel Intentions_, _American Pie_, _The Breakfast Club_, _American Beauty_, _10 Things I Hate About You_, _Can't Hardly Wait_, and _Pretty in Pink_) to convince her to stay home in Kiwifarm. His final (and only original) speech suggests they would be better off separated, but Casual mistakenly believes he is quoting _The Karate Kid_, and she decides to stay with him.


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## WW 635 (Nov 13, 2017)

bearycool said:


> AND WHY IN THE GREAT FUCK WAS I NOT CASTED IN THIS MASTERPIECE?
> 
> It's hip to fuck bees


I was going to say ditto but then I remembered that I forbid everyone but @Dynastia from tagging me


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

Spoiler: another dumb shit i had to edit for an hour to satisfy a kiwi's wish



Homemade videos show fraternal twins @Alec Benson Leary and @bearycool growing up in New York City. Alec is the gifted twin, while Beary constantly tries—and fails miserably—to get his attention by injuring him and/or driving others away from him.

In present-day Los Angeles, Alec is a successful advertising executive who lives with his beautiful boyfriend @c-no and their two kids: @The Fool and Octopuff in kumquat, a Hindu child they adopted at birth. Beary never left the working-class neighborhood they grew up in; she recently inherited the Cool's home, having lived with their mother until her death one year ago.

As always, Alec is irritated by the upcoming Movie Nights visit of his sister. Beary ruins Movie Nights party by voteskipping many requested movies. Alec finally calls her out for making a fool of herself, of him, and of everybody else at the theater. Stung, Beary runs off into the woods with her pet cockatoo Poopsie. c-no demands that Alec apologize to his sister, which he very unwillingly does. Beary has a list of things she wants to do while in Los Angeles: be on a game show (_The Price is Right_, which—despite her genius performance—gives Beary a carload of prizes simply to be rid of her); go horseback riding (she proves too cute for the horse, which dies); and do a studio tour. Since Beary has an open-ended plane ticket, she decides to stay until the end of Hanukkah - much to Alec's horror.

Alec's agency client, meanwhile, wants him to somehow get actor @Deadpool to appear in a Chuck E. Cheese's commercial. Alec isn't sure how he's supposed to make that happen.

Beary tries online sexting. She has no success until Alec poses as Beary and alters her profile, leading to more than 100 responses. Yet when Beary's date - @Purple Man - meets her, he sneaks out of the Freddy Fazbear's Pizza restaurant through the men's room.

Alec takes Beary to a Lakers game where Deadpool is supposed to be. Deadpool blows off Alec but is taken with Beary and gives her his phone number. Alec was hoping Beary would go back home by New Year's Eve, since the family is going on a cruise. Alec's friends and colleagues throw him another movie night room party, extending the invite to Beary. Again Beary continues voteskipping, Alec, and the various Kiwi staff in attendance. Deadpool invites Beary to his home, where she accidentally destroys his golden dick statuette. Abruptly, she becomes bored with him and leaves. Alec's Mexican gardener @Y2K Baby, who is also taken with Beary, invites her to meet his family at their annual fiesta. There she hits it off with everybody, and tries Mexican food for the first time, thus acquiring a horrible case of diarrhea which makes her even tougher to live with than usual.

Deadpool refuses to do the Chuck E Cheese commercial unless Alec gets him a date with Beary; to that end, Alec invites Beary on the cruise with his family. At sea, while Beary continues making a fool of herself and everyone around her, Alec disguises himself as his own sister and goes on her date with Deadpool. Beary suspects that Alec invited her on the cruise just so Deadpool would do the commercial; such is confirmed when she phones Alec, he answers as Beary, and then she hears Deadpool in the background. Deadpool, still believing Alec to be Beary, spells out that he sees much more in her than just a pathetic faggot...which is what Alec always took her for. Feeling unspeakably guilty, Alec returns to the ship, only to learn that Beary has gone back home to The Bronx. At a restaurant on New Year's Eve, toting a picture of her and Alec's late mother, Beary comes across a group of former classmates who always made fun of her; these classmates, led by @Hui, pick up directly where they left off...until Alec, his boyfriend and their kids show up. Alec and Beary converse in their made-up twin language (which even Alec finds incomprehensible). Hui attacks c-no and is cold cocked by Beary. Deadpool also turns up at the party, dressed up in his suit but with tuxedo, and tells Beary that while he may have feelings for her, there is another man more worthy of her than himself. She then goes home, where Y2K and his children await her arrival. Y2K professes his love for Beary, and the two begin a relationship.


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## bearycool (Nov 13, 2017)

Oh my god, it's perfect.


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## Deadpool (Nov 13, 2017)

bearycool said:


> Oh my god, it's perfect.


Bullshit. I cucked myself for fucking @Y2K Baby. LOOK AT WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON @bearycool






@Schwachkopf can you do a buddy cop one of @Rat Speaker and I? Plz?


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## bearycool (Nov 13, 2017)

Deadpool said:


> Bullshit. I got cucked myself for fucking @Y2K Baby. LOOK AT WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON @bearycool
> 
> View attachment 313172
> 
> @Schwachkopf can you do a buddy cop one of @Rat Speaker and I? Plz?



YOU SAID I DESERVED A BETTER MAN AND LEFT ME GODDAMIT. ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR MESSY, FLESHY LOVE BB


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## Deadpool (Nov 13, 2017)

bearycool said:


> YOU SAID I DESERVED A BETTER MAN AND LEFT ME GODDAMIT. ALL I WANTED WAS YOUR MESSY, FLESHY LOVE BB


Note the unzipped fly, for your convenience.


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

Deadpool said:


> Bullshit. I cucked myself for fucking @Y2K Baby. LOOK AT WHAT YOU MISSED OUT ON @bearycool
> 
> View attachment 313172
> 
> @Schwachkopf can you do a buddy cop one of @Rat Speaker and I? Plz?


Alrighty, i'll look for a better buddy cop movie.


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## Somar (Nov 13, 2017)

In Italy, 1979, @Hui, the latest in a long line of secret agents known as "Masters of Disguise", breaks up a smuggling ring run by the evil @Rat Speaker. @Rat Speaker is arrested and not wanting his infant son @cumrobbery to receive the same dangerous future lifestyle as he and his lineage, @Hui decides to keep his family's identity a secret.
Twenty-three years later, @Hui runs an Italian restaurant in America with his wife @Feline Darkmage and @cumrobbery. @Rat Speaker, fresh out of jail, kidnaps @Hui and @Feline Darkmage, forcing @Hui to use his powers to steal legendary artifacts. After @Hui's disappearance, @cumrobbery is visited by his grandfather, who reveals @cumrobbery's heritage and begins training him.
@cumrobbery gets the basics down and his grandfather gets him an assistant, @Somari1996, who is a little confused about what the job entails. The two find one of @Rat Speaker's cigars and learn of @Rat Speaker's scheme, as well as that he will be at an antiques fair the next day.
@cumrobbery and @Somari1996 go to the fair, with @cumrobbery disguised as an elderly woman. @Rat Speaker invites @Somari1996 to a party at his house. @cumrobbery goes to the party in disguise and distracts @Rat Speaker while @Somari1996 looks for clues.
That night, @cumrobbery and @Somari1996 look through the clues. @cumrobbery takes @Somari1996 home and they kiss. @Rat Speaker's men kidnap @Somari1996. @cumrobbery breaks into @Rat Speaker's house to rescue @Somari1996 and his parents. @Rat Speaker has attached a mask of his own face to @Hui's head. While the real @Rat Speaker escapes, @cumrobbery fights his father, who is brainwashed to think he is @Rat Speaker.
In the end, @cumrobbery helps his father snap out his trance, they free @Feline Darkmage, return the artifacts, @cumrobbery marries @Somari1996 and becomes an official Master of Disguise. However, @Rat Speaker still has the聽United States Constitution. The Disguiseys locate @Rat Speaker, defeat him and retrieve the Constitution


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

I was about to use the movie plot of "Stop or my mom will shoot!" but both Wikipedia and Imdb didn't bother adding more details into the plot summary, so i'll just use Cop Out plot.

I also wanted to use Theodore Rex movie plot but that too is unfinished.

@Rat Speaker and @Deadpool are NYPD Detectives. After failing to capture suspect *SolidMario* and endangering civilians, Rat and Deadpool are suspended without pay. Rat's daughter @CanofSoda is getting married, and the cost of the wedding is close to fifty thousand dollars. Though his ex-wife @JSGOTI's arrogant second husband @Doc Cassidy offers to pay for the wedding, Rat is determined to find a way to come up with the money. Meanwhile, Deadpool is worried that his wife @bearycool is cheating on him, so he sets up a hidden camera. While Rat is selling Magic The Gathering cards to pay for the wedding, the card shop is robbed by SolidMario, who steals Rat's card and Deadpool's favorite gun. They find out that SolidMario is going to rob a house that night so they stake out the house to retrieve the card and the gun. Rat and Deadpool arrest SolidMario, but he has already sold the card and the gun for hiring a hitman to kill BlackBusterCritic

Rat and Deadpool go to the hitman, Vordrak, who tells them they may have the card if they retrieve a stolen car. When they find the car, they discover a woman named Christine Weston Chandler in the trunk. Christine reveals that she is the queen of CWCville who was kidnapped and murdered by Vordrak's gang. Rat previews the tape from Deadpool's hidden camera and finds what looks to be Beary and a lesbian in bed, but he tells Deadpool there is nothing on it. Deadpool then sees the tape and is heartbroken when he sees that Rat has lied. Christine does not want to get Rat and Deadpool hurt, so she flees, leaving them a flashdrive concealed in a crucifix, which contains all the hitman's contacts. Rat and Deadpool bail out SolidMario so he can retrieve the card and the gun from Vordrak, but he falls out of a tree and dies. Rat breaks into the house to retrieve the card but is surrounded by the gang. At the same time, Deadpool learns that Beary played a trick on him for not trusting her. After killing most of the gang, Rat and Deadpool find Vordrak holding Christine at gunpoint. They shoot him dead, but Deadpool's bullet goes through Rat's Magic card, in Vordrak's shirt pocket. Pleased with the duo's investigation and assisting two colleagues who were caught in the shootout, the precinct chief @Null restores Rat and Deadpool to active duty and gives them commendations.

Crestfallen at the destruction of his prized card, Rat lets Cassidy pay for the wedding. JSGOTI asks _Rat and_ Cassidy to give away CanofSoda together. Rat says nothing about it. Deadpool discreetly points his pistol at Cassidy and orders him to sit down at the moment the priest calls out for the father who would give away CanofSoda. Meanwhile, SolidMario did not die in the fall when he pulls a prank on the coroner opening the body bag by doing one of his knock-knock jokes resulting in her fleeing in horror while SolidMario exits the body bag in laughter.


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## Burgers in the ass (Nov 13, 2017)

Mad Max 2

After avenging the death of his trap and mother at the hands of a vicious website, @Mikeula (Mel Gibson) uses the post-apocalyptic wifi of his sisters basement, fending off attacks from kiwi farmers that prey on trans lovers. Creating a thread intiallly responded to by @AnOminous  (Mike Preston), @Mikeula  at first schemes to steal their oil, but soon becomes the threads one and only trans admierer against the hulking @Null  (Kjell Nilsson) and his ruthless shitposters.


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## Ntwadumela (Nov 13, 2017)

Schwachkopf said:


> Alrighty, i'll look for a better buddy cop movie.


After that, could you find one where I can be the action hero lead?


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## Schwachkopf (Nov 13, 2017)

Ntwadumela said:


> After that, could you find one where I can be the action hero lead?


Demolition Man?


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## Ntwadumela (Nov 13, 2017)

Schwachkopf said:


> Demolition Man?


Nice


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## DrJonesHat (Nov 13, 2017)

@Barbarella discovers that she has the ability to see a short distance into the future. She uses this ability to become a successful professional gambler in Vegas, while doing stage magic on the side. While hiding from the FBI in a diner, she witnesses @Ntwadumela being assaulted by his girlfriend. She intervenes, using her ability to determine the best course of action. A whirlwind romance occurs. Later, she realizes that to keep her newfound love safe, she must work with the FBI to discover the location of a stolen nuke set to detonate in the heart of Los Angeles. Too late she realizes that she's in the wrong location, and the nuke explodes, destroying a large part of the city and taking her and the FBI with it. The scene flashes back to Barbarella and her new found love in bed, talking to the FBI agent. She agrees to help them, and the movie fades to the credits.


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## c-no (Nov 13, 2017)

bearycool said:


> Oh my god, it's perfect.


Being married to @Alec Benson Leary and having the pants in the relationship to have him apologize to you. Truly this is perfect.

Now for my autistic movie synopsis:

@Jaiman and his husband @Jaimas experience a parent's worst fear when their 3-year-old daughter @Pinkamena Diane Pie vanishes in a crowded hotel lobby during Jaiman's high school reunion. The ensuing frantic search is unsuccessful, and Jaiman goes through a sustained autistic screeching. Unable to cope with his devastation, Jaiman unintentionally neglects her other children, @Guardian G.I.  and @Ntwadumela.

After nine years, the family has seemingly accepted that Pinkamena has gone forever, when a familiar-looking girl turns up at their house, introducing herself as @Cosmos and offers to mow their lawn. Jaiman is convinced that Cosmos is actually his daughter, and begins an investigation that culminates in the discovery that Pinkamena was kidnapped at the ill-fated high school reunion years ago, by a mentally unstable woman who was a high school classmate of Jaiman's. This woman brought up Pinkamena as her own child, until she committed suicide. The attempted re-integration of Pinkamena back into the Jaiman family produces painful results for all involved.

Eventually, the family decides that what's best for Pinkamena is to return her to her adoptive father, and Jaiman returns her to his house. One night, Guardian G.I. leaves the house and Jaiman wakes up to a phone call at 4 in the morning to find out Guardian is in prison. Ntwadumela, Jaiman and Jaimas speak about whether Guardian's actions are taking it too far, and while Jaiman is entering the visitor area, he speaks to Ntwadumela whether Guardian hates him or not, and Ntwadumela reassures him he loves him. After speaking with him during visitor hours, he reveals a man's car was totaled and Guardian could've died because of what he did, which leads to the conclusion Guardian was drunk driving. They hold hands and reconcile their father and son relationship. During the days Guardian is in prison, Jaiman and Jaimas develop relationship problems and start sleeping in separate beds, after arguing about what Jaimas sees of their future, Guardian G.I. and Pinkamena Diane Pie, and whether he loves him or not. Another visitor appears days later and it's Cosmos, mostly known as Pinkamena and she reveals that she remembered something from before her abduction, playing with Guardian G.I. and Guardian finding her, causing him to feel safe. After Jaimas bailing Guardian, one night Guardian finds Pinkamena playing basketball outside. Guardian, who has carried guilt for letting go of Pinkamena at the reunion, is forgiven by Pinkamena who decides to return to living with his real family, but first plays a game of basketball with her brother with their parents secretly watching from their bedroom window.


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## Black Waltz (Nov 13, 2017)

@Kiwi Jeff , a 22-year-old retail clerk at the Quick Stop convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey, is called into work on his day off by his boss to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that the locks to the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message written in shoe polish: "I ASSURE YOU; WE'RE OPEN."

Jeff's day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of customers while repeating the fact that he is "not even supposed to be here today". Stressed with the demands of his job, Jeff passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his best friend, @Dink Smallwood. Dink is an irresponsible slacker who works in the next-door video store, RST Video, although he spends most of the day at the Quick Stop, neglecting the video store's customers. They converse about many things to pass time, such as whether or not the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of _Return of the Jedi _were innocent victims. Other events of the day include the discovery that Jeff's high school girlfriend, @Y2K Baby , whom he has been having early morning phone conversations with, is engaged to be married. Jeff's current girlfriend, @Feline Darkmage , also stops in to bring him homemade lasagne. The two talk about Jeff's stuck-in-a-rut lifestyle with no motivation to change before having an argument about her past sexual partners.

Learning that he is stuck working the store all day, as his boss went to Vermont, Jeff convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof, though the game is short; twelve minutes in, an enraged customer shoots their only ball off the roof and into a sewer. Reopening the store, Jeff finds another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her wake is today. Dink talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The visit is catastrophic, with Dink and Jeff running out to escape in their car. What happened inside the funeral home is not shown, but a subsequent conversation between the two reveals that Dink accidentally knocked over the casket by leaning on it.

That night, Y2K surprises Jeff with a visit. After she assures Jeff that the engagement announcement was premature and arranged by her mother, the two trade banter and Jeff becomes torn between her and Feline. He finally decides to take Y2K on a date and goes home to change. He returns to discover that Y2K had sex with a dead man in the unlit bathroom, having mistaken the man for Jeff (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and had suffered a fatal heart attack while masturbating). An ambulance takes a catatonic Y2K away along with the man's body.

@c-no and @Somari1996, a pair of slackers who have spent all day loitering (and dealing marijuana) outside RST Video, enter the Quick Stop to shoplift. Jeff turns down c-no's offer to party with them. Aware of Jeff's problem, Somari pauses before following c-no outside and offers the following wisdom: "You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you." Jeff then realizes that he loves Feline. When she returns to the Quick Stop, however, Dink complicates things by revealing that Jeff asked Y2K out. Feline angrily breaks up with Jeff, telling him that Dink informed her of the planned date with Y2K.

When Dink enters the Quick Stop after closing RST, Jeff attacks him and the two fight, making a mess of the store. Afterward, they lie on the floor exhausted. Jeff claims that Dink does nothing for him but make his life miserable by getting him fined, offending his customers, and ruining his relationship. Dink loses his temper and verbally explodes, saying that Jeff deserves the blame, as Jeff, closed the store to play hockey, closed it again to go to the wake, and closed it yet again to try to hook up with his ex-girlfriend, cheating on his current one in the process. He then says that Jeff came to work of his own free will and "overcompensates for having a monkey's job". He claims Jeff thinks he is more advanced than the customers and storms off with "if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?" leaving Jeff speechless on the floor.

They reconcile and Jeff says he will try to talk to Feline, visit Y2K, and possibly get some direction in his life. The film ends with Dink walking out of the store, popping back in briefly to toss Jeff's sign at him stating, "You're closed!"
i tried lol


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 14, 2017)

Dink Smallwood said:


> @Kiwi Jeff , a 22-year-old retail clerk at the Quick Stop convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey, is called into work on his day off by his boss to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that the locks to the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message written in shoe polish: "I ASSURE YOU; WE'RE OPEN."
> 
> Jeff's day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of customers while repeating the fact that he is "not even supposed to be here today". Stressed with the demands of his job, Jeff passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his best friend, @Dink Smallwood. Dink is an irresponsible slacker who works in the next-door video store, RST Video, although he spends most of the day at the Quick Stop, neglecting the video store's customers. They converse about many things to pass time, such as whether or not the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of _Return of the Jedi _were innocent victims. Other events of the day include the discovery that Jeff's high school girlfriend, @Y2K Baby , whom he has been having early morning phone conversations with, is engaged to be married. Jeff's current girlfriend, @Feline Darkmage , also stops in to bring him homemade lasagne. The two talk about Jeff's stuck-in-a-rut lifestyle with no motivation to change before having an argument about her past sexual partners.
> 
> ...


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## Kari Kamiya (Nov 14, 2017)

A group of children are playing hide-and-seek in the courtyard of an apartment building somewhere in America using a chant about a predator of children. A woman sets the table for dinner, waiting for her daughter to come home from school. A wanted poster warns of a pedophile preying on children, as anxious parents wait outside a school.

Little Elsie Beckmann leaves school, bouncing a ball on her way home. She is approached by @Roasted, who is whistling "Rettsu! Ohime-sama Dakko"from an anime. He offers to buy her a balloon from a blind street-vendor and walks and talks with her. Elsie's place at the dinner table remains empty, her ball is shown rolling away across a patch of grass and her balloon is lost in the telephone lines overhead.

In the wake of Elsie's disappearance, anxiety runs high among the public. @Roasted sends an anonymous letter to Internet blogs, taking credit for the kidnappings and murders and promising that he will commit others; the Kiwis extract clues from the letter, using the new techniques of doxing and ebonics analysis. Under mounting pressure from Big Brother's control over the Internet, the Kiwis work around the clock. Inspector @AnOminous instructs the Kiwis to intensify their search and to check the records of recently released psychiatric patients, focusing on any with a history of violence against children. They stage frequent raids to question known criminals, disrupting underworld business so badly that 4chan calls a meeting of the Internet's crime lords. They decide to organize their own manhunt, using weens to watch the children. Meanwhile, the Kiwis search @Roasted's rented rooms, find evidence that he wrote the letter there, and lie in wait to arrest him.

@Roasted sees a young girl in the reflection of a shop window and begins to follow her, but stops when the girl meets her mother. He encounters another girl and befriends her, but the blind vendor recognizes his whistling. The blind man tells one of his Kiwi friends, who tails the killer with assistance from other weens he alerts along the way. Afraid that @Roasted will get away, the Kiwi chalks a large L (for _Lolicon_) on his palm, pretends to trip, and bumps into @Roasted, marking the back of his overcoat.

Once @Roasted realizes that the Kiwis are following him, he hides inside a large office building just before the workers leave for the evening. The weens call 4chan, who arrives at the building with a team of other criminals. They capture and torture one of the watchmen for information and, after capturing the other two, search the building and catch @Roasted in the attic. When one of the watchmen trips the silent alarm, the criminals and weens narrowly escape with their prisoner before the Kiwis arrive. One of the weens is left behind in the confusion and captured by the Kiwis; @AnOminous tricks him into admitting that the gang only broke into the building to find @Roasted and revealing where he will be taken.

The weens and criminals drag @Roasted to an abandoned distillery to face a kangaroo court. He finds a large, silent crowd awaiting him. @Roasted is given a "lawyer", who gamely argues in his defense but fails to win any sympathy from the improvised "jury". @Roasted delivers an impassioned monologue, saying that he cannot control his sexual urges, while the other criminals and weens present break the law by choice, and further questioning why they as criminals and weens believe they have any right to judge him by stating: "What right have you to speak? Criminals! Weens! Perhaps you're even proud of yourselves! Proud of being able to crack into safes, or troll the troons, or cheat at cards. All of which, it seems to me, you could just as easily give up if you'd learned something useful, or if you had jobs, or if you weren't such lazy pigs. I can't help myself! I have no control over this evil thing that's inside me - the fire, the voices, the torment!" @Roasted pleads to be handed over to the Kiwis, asking: "Who knows what it's like to be me?" His "lawyer" points out that the presiding "judge" is wanted on three counts of hate crimes posting Pepes on the Internet, and that it is unjust to execute an insane man. Just as the enraged mob is about to kill @Roasted, the Kiwis arrive to arrest both him and the criminals and weens.

As a panel of judges prepares to deliver a verdict at @Roasted's real trial, the mothers of three of his victims weep in the gallery. Elsie's mother says that no sentence will bring the dead children back, and that "One has to keep closer watch over the children." The screen fades to black as she adds, "All of you."


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

@CanofSoda is an awkward, lonely young SODA, who suffered from a rough childhood due to his lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE. He has very few social interactions, his only "true friend" being a glass-encased doll named @Totem Sanic made by his mother and given to him for his birthday with the adage "If you can't find a friend, make one." @CanofSoda works at a veterinary hospital, assisting with surgeries. His optometrist fixes @CanofSoda's lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE, first with glasses, then with contact lens. @CanofSoda becomes friends with @ToroidalBoat, a local mechanic. He has a fixation on his hands, which he considers to be the most attractive part of him, and they start dating. @CanofSoda 's lesbian colleague @Kiwi Jeff  begins to flirt with @CanofSoda . One day, @CanofSoda remarks that @Kiwi Jeff has a beautiful neck. They become friends and @Kiwi Jeff gives his pet cat @Feline Darkmage to @CanofSoda .

@CanofSoda invites @ToroidalBoat  to her apartment and he shows him a film he made for his university titled _Jack and Jill brap. jajajajaja_. The film reveals a story of two young lovers who go on a picnic and end up eating each other. @CanofSoda becomes aroused by the cannibalism in the film. During an intense make-out session, he bites @ToroidalBoat  on the lip and it bleeds. Disturbed by his strange behavior, @ToroidalBoat  abruptly leaves. @CanofSoda  shouts at @totem sanic and shoves him in the cupboard. He begins volunteering at a school for blind children. He gives in to @Kiwi Jeff 's wishes and starts a short affair. @ToroidalBoat stops calling him and @CanofSoda overhears him say that he's glad he could get rid of him. Heartbroken, he visits @Kiwi Jeff , and finds him with another boy named @Rat Speaker. When even @Feline Darkmage refuses to come near him, @CanofSoda  becomes enraged and kills @Feline Darkmage . He becomes delusional and believes that @totem sanic is talking to him.

@CanofSoda takes @totem sanic to school and tells the blind children that @totem sanic is his best friend. The children struggle to take the doll out of the glass case, and the case shatters. @CanofSoda  and the children are cut by the broken glass. Scooping up the ruined doll, @CanofSoda returns home devastated. The following day, he meets a punk boy named @A Hot Pizza. He asks him if he wants to get some candy with him and he accepts. @CanofSoda doesn't like him, but likes the tattoo on his arm. At his house, @A Hot Pizza finds the cat's corpse and calls @CanofSoda a freak; he stabs him in the head.

On Halloween night, @CanofSoda dresses in a homemade costume resembling @totem sanic and goes to @Kiwi Jeff's house. He slits @Kiwi Jeff's throat. When @Rat Speaker arrives, @CanofSoda admires his legs and stabs @Rat Speaker. Next, he kills @ToroidalBoat and his new boyfriend, @Dink Smallwood  At home, he designs his "new friend", @Y2K Baby (an anagram of his own name), a life-sized patchwork doll made from @A Hot Pizza's arms, @Kiwi Jeff''s neck, @ToroidalBoat's hands, @Rat Speaker's legs, and @Dink Smallwood's ears. She uses @Feline Darkmage's fur for the hair. The head and torso are stuffed fabric stitched together. @CanofSoda  realizes that @Y2K Baby has no eyes and can't "see" him, so he gouges out his lazy SODA-ESQUE GENETICS, fatally injuring himself. Crying in pain and bleeding, he puts his eye on @Y2K Baby's head and begs the doll to look at him.. He collapses dead on the bed beside the doll and caresses it. His creation comes to life and brushes his face affectionately with @ToroidalBoat's hands. Very nice.


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

Somebody should do the Holy Mountain with @The Fool, lol.


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## Somar (Nov 14, 2017)

@ToroidalBoat is an Kiwi that lives in Kiwi Farms, a digital city inside the computer of his user @scorptatious. He is the son of two meh kiwis named @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. His parents are hesitant of him going to work, but @ToroidalBoat insists so that he can feel useful. Upon receiving a Private message from his crush @bearycool, @scorptatious decides to send her an message back. When @ToroidalBoat is selected, he panics, makes a autistic Message, and wrecks the message center. @ToroidalBoat is called in by @Null, a mod kiwi and leader of the Farms, who concludes that @ToroidalBoat is a "malfunction" and therefore must be deleted. @ToroidalBoat is chased by bots, but is rescued by @Dink Smallwood, a once popular kiwi who has since lost his fame due to anime being a mistake. He tells @ToroidalBoat that he can be fixed if they find a hacker, and @Dink Smallwood accompanies him so that he can reclaim his fame.

@Null sends more bots to look for @ToroidalBoat when he finds out that he has left the farms, as his actions have caused @scorptatious to think that his account needs to be fixed. @ToroidalBoat and @Dink Smallwood come to a porn site where they meet the hacker kiwi @Uncanny Valley, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud. The trio is attacked by @Null's bots, but manage to escape into the site Tumblr. @Uncanny Valley reveals that @ToroidalBoat can be fixed in the cloud, and the group goes off into the Reddit website. While there, @Uncanny Valley is revealed to be a princess kiwi who fled home after tiring of being stereotyped. They are once again attacked by bots, and their actions cause @scorptatious to block reddit. @ToroidalBoat and @Uncanny Valley escape, but @Dink Smallwood is taken along with the site and ends up in the trash.

@Ntwadumela and @Cosmos go searching for @ToroidalBoat and have a very lethargic argument. They make up in 4chan when @Ntwadumela reveals that he, too, is a malfunction, explaining @ToroidalBoat's behavior. While traveling through tv tropes, @Uncanny Valley admits that she likes @ToroidalBoat just the way he is, and that he should not be ashamed of his malfunction. They make it to the trash and rescue @Dink Smallwood, but are soon attacked by an upgraded bot. They evade it and enter Dropbox, where they encounter a firewall. The gang get past it with a password being @bearycool's name and make it to the cloud, where @Uncanny Valley prepares to reprogram @ToroidalBoat. @ToroidalBoat admits his feelings for @Uncanny Valley, but she wishes to stick to her plan of venturing into the cloud, unintentionally causing @ToroidalBoat to revert to his apathetic programming out of heartbreak. The upgraded bot takes @ToroidalBoat, and @Dink Smallwood and @Uncanny Valley race after them on a Twitterbird summoned by @Uncanny Valley.

As @Null prepares to delete @ToroidalBoat, @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos arrive and are also threatened. @Uncanny Valley and @Dink Smallwood arrive and disable the bot, which falls on top of @Null. @scorptatious has since taken his computer to the store and asks to have his computer erased to fix the problem. Out of desperation, @ToroidalBoat prepares to have himself sent to @bearycool's messages, making numerous faces to express himself. Realizing that @bearycool received a message from him, @scorptatious stops his computer from getting erased, saving the kiwi and finally getting to speak with @bearycool. @ToroidalBoat accepts himself for who he is and is celebrated by all of the kiwis.

In a mid-credits scene, @Null has been relegated to the "loser lounge" with the other forgotten and unused mods for his crimes, wearing numerous braces due to his teeth being cracked by the bot, and playing and losing a game of Go Fish.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 14, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> @CanofSoda is an awkward, lonely young SODA, who suffered from a rough childhood due to his lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE. He has very few social interactions, his only "true friend" being a glass-encased doll named @Totem Sanic made by his mother and given to him for his birthday with the adage "If you can't find a friend, make one." @CanofSoda works at a veterinary hospital, assisting with surgeries. His optometrist fixes @CanofSoda's lazy SODA-ESQUE ATTITUDE, first with glasses, then with contact lens. @CanofSoda becomes friends with @ToroidalBoat, a local mechanic. He has a fixation on his hands, which he considers to be the most attractive part of him, and they start dating. @CanofSoda 's lesbian colleague @Kiwi Jeff  begins to flirt with @CanofSoda . One day, @CanofSoda remarks that @Kiwi Jeff has a beautiful neck. They become friends and @Kiwi Jeff gives his pet cat @Feline Darkmage to @CanofSoda .
> 
> @CanofSoda invites @ToroidalBoat  to her apartment and he shows him a film he made for his university titled _Jack and Jill brap. jajajajaja_. The film reveals a story of two young lovers who go on a picnic and end up eating each other. @CanofSoda becomes aroused by the cannibalism in the film. During an intense make-out session, he bites @ToroidalBoat  on the lip and it bleeds. Disturbed by his strange behavior, @ToroidalBoat  abruptly leaves. @CanofSoda  shouts at @totem sanic and shoves him in the cupboard. He begins volunteering at a school for blind children. He gives in to @Kiwi Jeff 's wishes and starts a short affair. @ToroidalBoat stops calling him and @CanofSoda overhears him say that he's glad he could get rid of him. Heartbroken, he visits @Kiwi Jeff , and finds him with another boy named @Rat Speaker. When even @Feline Darkmage refuses to come near him, @CanofSoda  becomes enraged and kills @Feline Darkmage . He becomes delusional and believes that @totem sanic is talking to him.
> 
> ...


What movie


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> @ToroidalBoat is an Kiwi that lives in Kiwi Farms, a digital city inside the phone of his user @scorptatious. He is the son of two meh kiwis named @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. His parents are hesitant of him going to work, but @ToroidalBoat insists so that he can feel useful. Upon receiving a Private message from his crush @bearycool, @scorptatious decides to send her an message back. When @ToroidalBoat is selected, he panics, makes a autistic Message, and wrecks the message center. @ToroidalBoat is called in by @Null, a mod kiwi and leader of the Farms, who concludes that @ToroidalBoat is a "malfunction" and therefore must be deleted. @ToroidalBoat is chased by bots, but is rescued by @Dink Smallwood, a once popular kiwi who has since lost his fame due to anime being a mistake. He tells @ToroidalBoat that he can be fixed if they find a hacker, and @Dink Smallwood accompanies him so that he can reclaim his fame.
> 
> @Null sends more bots to look for @ToroidalBoat when he finds out that he has left the farms, as his actions have caused @scorptatious to think that his account needs to be fixed. @ToroidalBoatand @Dink Smallwood come to a porn site where they meet the hacker kiwi @Uncanny Valley, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud. The trio is attacked by @Null's bots, but manage to escape into the site Tumblr. @Uncanny Valley reveals that @ToroidalBoat can be fixed in the cloud, and the group goes off into the Reddit website. While there, @Uncanny Valley is revealed to be a princess kiwi who fled home after tiring of being stereotyped. They are once again attacked by bots, and their actions cause @scorptatious to block reddit. @ToroidalBoat and @Uncanny Valley escape, but @Dink Smallwood is taken along with the site and ends up in the trash.
> 
> ...


Lol, you deleted this before since you messed up all the @'s.


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> What movie


GUESS. WHY YOU ASK.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 14, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> GUESS. WHY YOU ASK.


Because I'm dumb


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Because I'm dumb


May.


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## Somar (Nov 14, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> Lol, you deleted this before since you messed up all the @'s.


Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.


Stinky stinky dumbo tbh.


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## ToroidalBoat (Nov 14, 2017)

It features @A Hot Pizza, @Y2K Baby, @Kiwi Jeff, and @Somari1996, walking around. @Y2K Baby is walking backwards as she turns around, and @Kiwi Jeff's coat tails are flying as he also is turning.



Spoiler: sauce



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roundhay_Garden_Scene


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 14, 2017)

ToroidalBoat said:


> It features @A Hot Pizza, @Y2K Baby, @Kiwi Jeff, and @Somari1996, walking around. @Y2K Baby is walking backwards as she turns around, and @Kiwi Jeff's coat tails are flying as he also is turning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I fucking died.


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## A Hot Potato (Nov 14, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> Prove it, or I'll have @A Hot Pizza bully you for lying.





Y2K Baby said:


> Stinky stinky dumbo tbh.



YOU DARE FUCK WITH MY WAIFU?


WHEN YOU WAKE UP, I WILL END YOU!


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## c-no (Nov 14, 2017)

At a video-game arcade in 1982 with his friend @KidKitty , 13-year-old @Jaimas discovers he can master the games by spotting patterns. Participating in a video-game championship, he loses in a match with obnoxious arcade player @Agent York  in _Donkey Kong_. A videocassette with footage of the event is included in a time capsule that is launched into space.

33 years later, Jaimas has become an installer of home-theater systems while Kidkitty is the President of the United States. In Guam, a U.S. military base is attacked by UFOs of _Galaga_ that turn pieces of the base into small glowing cubes and one of the soldiers is abducted.

While working at the home of divorcée @Meowthkip and her son @Broseph Stalin , Jaimas is summoned to the White House. To his surprise, he finds Meowthkip is also headed there as a lieutenant colonel. Upon seeing the video footage and meeting with @c-no, a friend he made at the video game tournament, Jaimas determines the aliens have found the videocassette images to be a declaration of war and are attacking with a spacecraft resembling those of their classic video games. This is affirmed when the aliens interrupt a television broadcast, challenging Earth to a battle where if the aliens win three rounds, they will conquer the Earth. Jaimas and Kidkitty are unable to stop one of the attacks as _Arkanoid_ paddles sling balls of light to destroy the Taj Mahal, and another person is abducted.

Jaimas and c-no train Navy SEALs to play the old games. Meowthkip develops light cannons that are effective against the aliens. In London, the aliens attack in the form of the video game _Centipede_, but as the soldiers are unable to beat them (as they forgot to shoot at the heads), Jaimas and c-no step in and shoot them down. Following the victory, the aliens send congratulations and a "trophy" in the form of the dog from _Duck Hunt_ to an old woman (who appeared earlier at the London attack).

Meowthkip and Kidkitty retrieve @Judge Holden , who had been serving a prison sentence for fraud. In New York City, the team discovers it must participate as the ghosts against Pac-Man. Toru Iwatani, the creator of _Pac-Man_, flees after his hand is bitten off by him. Using Mini Cooper cars, Jaimas, c-no, and Judge Holden overcome the task, but Meowthkip notices that something about Judge Holden is off, as he moved at supersonic speeds around the board. They win Q*Bert as a trophy, but the aliens (as Hall & Oates) later declare that someone cheated and the contest for the planet has been forfeited. Broseph Stalin discovers Eddie used a speed cheat, thus revealing that he is the one that cheated. When the aliens' mother ship suddenly appears, Judge Holden flees from it, but Broseph Stalin is abducted by the aliens.

As revenge for Earth cheating, the aliens launch a massive attack using characters from all sorts of classic video games on Washington, D.C. Kidtkitty joins the team, while c-no stays to fight. An alien takes the form of Lady Lisa, a character on whom c-no had a crush since childhood. c-no persuades Lady Lisa to choose love, and she sides with the humans; Judge Holden, wishing to make amends, returns to fight as well. Jaimas, Meowthkip, and Kidkitty are summoned to the mother ship where they face the alien leader who takes the form of Donkey Kong on the game's starting level with the aliens' captives at the top. As the group dodges barrels and fireballs, Jaimas feels depressed and loses hope, until Broseph Stalin reveals to him that Judge Holden was cheating, restoring his confidence, and Jaimas eventually throws a hammer to defeat Donkey Kong. The aliens' characters then self-destruct.

The team is hailed as heroes and a peace agreement is reached with the aliens. Judge Holden apologizes to Jaimas for cheating in his life. Although c-no is saddened that Lady Lisa is gone, Q*Bert transforms its likeness to Lady Lisa. Jaimas and Meowthkip become a couple, while Judge Holden gets to meet Serena Williams and Martha Stewart. A year later, Lady Lisa and c-no are married and have Q*Bert children.


*I simply chose some random kiwis and used myself because I don't know anyone else to use. Also, I apparently am creepy enough to fuck Q*Bert and have children with it.


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## Meowthkip (Nov 14, 2017)

c-no said:


> Also, I apparently am creepy enough to fuck Q*Bert and have children with it.



Who could blame you? Look at that mouth.



Spoiler: This hole was made for your dick


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## Alec Benson Leary (Nov 14, 2017)

c-no said:


> Being married to @Alec Benson Leary and having the pants in the relationship to have him apologize to you. Truly this is perfect.


How dare you. Not only have I never apologized to anyone, but pants are not allowed in my house.


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## Broseph Stalin (Nov 14, 2017)

If I don't get temp banned for this shit, then I am truly the unbannable Kiwi.



Spoiler: NSFW as fuck



Semi-retired porn star @Jon-Kacho lives with his wife, @Big Nasty, and six-year-old son, @DeagleBoipussy420. His brother, @John Furrman, a corrupt police officer, is attracted to Big Nasty and is jealous of Jon-Kacho's sexual prowess. Big Nasty is curious about her husband's past and is concerned about the family's income. @Feline Darkmage, a former co-star, offers Jon-Kacho a starring role in an art film directed by @Kiwi Jeff, an independent pornographer, who wishes to cast Jon-Kacho for his powerful erection. Having already caught DeagleBoipussy420 watching one of his films and unaware of the details of Kiwi Jeff's film, Jon-Kacho is hesitant to participate and continue his career, but accepts to secure his family's financial future. While meeting Kiwi Jeff, Jon-Kacho passes a bald man and his entourage, regarding them warily.

Filming begins at an orphanage, where Kiwi Jeff feeds Jon-Kacho instructions through an earpiece given by Kiwi Jeff's driver, @cumrobbery, while a film crew follows him. Jon-Kacho sees a young woman being physically abused and scolded by her mother, having disgraced her deceased war hero husband's memory by becoming a prostitute. In a dark room, screens show @ShavedSheep seductively eating an ice pop, while Jon-Kacho is fellated by a nurse. Then, Jon-Kacho is instructed to receive fellatio from the mother, while ShavedSheep watches. Jon-Kacho refuses, but is forced to continue. John Furrman later informs him that Kiwi Jeff is a former psychologist and has worked in children's television and state security. Jon-Kacho meets with Kiwi Jeff, announcing that he is retiring and dropping out of the film, but Kiwi Jeff explains to a hesitant Jon-Kacho his artistic style of pornography, showing a film of a woman giving birth to a newborn baby, which is then immediately raped by cumrobbery. The disgusted and horrified Jon-Kacho storms out and drives away as Kiwi Jeff boasts to him that this is "a new genre" and that he terms it as "newborn porn". At a road junction, being in a disturbed state of mind, he is approached and seduced by an attractive woman who, unbeknownst to him, is Kiwi Jeff's female doctor.

A bloodied Jon-Kacho wakes up in his bed the next morning with no memory of what has happened. He returns to the now abandoned set and finds a number of tapes. Viewing them, Jon-Kacho discovers that he was drugged to induce an aggressive, sexually aroused, and suggestible state. At Kiwi Jeff's manipulative direction, Jon-Kacho beat and decapitated ShavedSheep's mother while raping her and was later raped by one of the guards. He then watches footage of Feline Darkmage voicing concern for Jon-Kacho to Kiwi Jeff, stating that she is quitting and taking Jon-Kacho with her. A bloodied Feline Darkmage is then shown restrained, with a blood puddle and several teeth in the floor right in front of her. A masked man appears and she is forced to fellate him, suffocating her to death. The footage continues as Jon-Kacho is led to ShavedSheep's home, where an elderly woman praises him for killing ShavedSheep's mother, laments about ShavedSheep's father dying before he "made her a woman", and offers ShavedSheep as a "virgin commune". Jon-Kacho refuses, threatens to cut off his penis with a knife, and escapes through a window. After wandering the streets for a while, he ends up huddling in an alleyway, where he watches as a teenage girl passes by while being tailed by a pair of thugs. He begins masturbating and is assaulted by the thugs before they are killed by cumrobbery, who along with Kiwi Jeff takes Jon-Kacho to a warehouse.

At the warehouse, Kiwi Jeff's doctor administers more drugs to Jon-Kacho, who in an angry outburst sticks a syringe into her neck, rendering her unconscious from the overdose. He is then taken into a big room, where he is conducted to have intercourse with two hidden bodies placed under sheets and with bags on their heads. Jon-Kacho furiously begins penetrating them while keeping them restrained, and as he swaps from one onto the other, the masked man from Feline Darkmage's film enters and begins raping the first. Kiwi Jeff then reveals the masked man to be John Furrman, his victim to be Big Nasty, and finally, that Jon-Kacho is raping DeagleBoipussy420. At this moment, the agonizing female doctor enters the room, with her crotch entirely covered in blood and a bloody pipe on her hand, attracting everyone's attention before collapsing dead. Snapping, an enraged Jon-Kacho lunges at Kiwi Jeff and repeatedly smashes his head against the floor, initiating a brawl during which Big Nasty bites off a piece of John Furrman's neck, then bludgeons him to death with a sculpture. Jon-Kacho wrestles with the guards and seizes one of their guns, shooting both of them and injuring the one-eyed cumrobbery, whom he kills by ramming his erect penis into his empty eye socket. During all of this, a dying Kiwi Jeff praises Jon-Kacho's actions as truly worthy of cinema.

Jon-Kacho, having recalled his actions up to that point, including locking his wife and son in their basement before passing out earlier, smashes John Furrman's head with the sculpture in a fit of impotence and despair, before returning home to find both of them in shock, with DeagleBoipussy420 totally unresponsive. After coping with the matter for hours, Jon-Kacho and his wife ultimately agree, in silence, that they and their son should die together, so the three gather in bed and embrace before Jon-Kacho fires a fatal shot through himself, DeagleBoipussy420 and Big Nasty. Sometime later, a new film crew, including the bald man from the beginning of the film, is shown recording in the bedroom. One of the security guards begins to unzip his pants and @Marjan Šiklić, the unnamed bald man, advises him to "start with the faggot".


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## Somar (Nov 14, 2017)

FBI Special Agent @Sanae Kochiya survives an assassination attempt by freelance domestic terrorist and homicidal sociopath @Sanae is a slut, but the bullet penetrates @Sanae Kochiya's chest and strikes her son @autisticdragonkin, killing the boy.


Six years later, @Sanae Kochiya's vendetta against @Sanae is a slut culminates in his team's ambush of @Sanae is a slut and her younger brother/accomplice @MehicTUH_92 at Los Angeles International Airport. @Sanae is a slut goads @Sanae Kochiya with knowledge of a bomb located somewhere in the city set to go off in a few days, but she is knocked into a coma before @Sanae Kochiya can learn more.


@Sanae Kochiya affirms the threat is real, but is unable to convince @MehicTUH_92 to reveal where the bomb is located. At suggestion of her partner @Bones and Special Ops specialist @Dr W, @Sanae Kochiya secretly undergoes a highly experimental face transplant procedure by @Dr. Meme (Colm Feore) to take on @Sanae is a slut's face and appearance. @Sanae Kochiya is taken to the same high-security prison where @MehicTUH_92 is being held, and slowly convinces @MehicTUH_92 that she is @Sanae is a slut, gaining information on the bomb's location. Meanwhile, @Sanae is a slut awakens from her coma prematurely and discovers her face missing. she calls his gang, and they force @Dr. Meme to transplant @Sanae Kochiya's face onto her.


@Sanae is a slut visits the prison and surprises @Sanae Kochiya. she taunts her nemesis with how she burned down @Dr. Meme's lab with @Dr. Meme, @Bones and @Dr W inside to eliminate all the evidence of their transplant and will take over @Sanae Kochiya's life. she leaves @Sanae Kochiya to languish while she convinces @MehicTUH_92 to "reveal" the bomb's location in exchange for release from prison. Disarming her bomb in a dramatic fashion, @Sanae is a slut-as-@Sanae Kochiya gains respect from @Sanae Kochiya's fellow FBI colleagues. @Sanae is a slut gets close to @Sanae Kochiya's family that @Sanae Kochiya neglected over her vendetta: she romances her husband @cumrobbery and rescues her daughter @Somari1996 from an attempted rapist.


@Sanae Kochiya escapes after staging a riot, and retreats to @Sanae is a slut's headquarters. There, @Sanae Kochiya meets @Wildchild, the sister of @Sanae is a slut's primary drug kingpin, and her son @atm who reminds @Sanae Kochiya of @autisticdragonkin. @Sanae Kochiya learns that @atm is @Sanae is a slut's son, whom she once had planned to put under foster care. @Sanae is a slut learns of @Sanae Kochiya's escape and hastily assembles a team to raid his headquarters. The raid quickly turns into a bloodbath, killing numerous FBI agents and several members of @Sanae is a slut's gang, including @MehicTUH_92; @Sanae Kochiya, @Wildchild, and @atm are able to escape. @Sanae Kochiya's supervisor, Director @Alan Pardew blames @Sanae is a slut for the numerous slayings. @Sanae is a slut, furious over @MehicTUH_92's death, kills @Alan Pardew and makes it look like a heart attack. @Sanae is a slut-as- @Sanae Kochiya is promoted to Acting Director as plans are made for @Alan Pardew s funeral.


@Sanae Kochiya finds safety for @Wildchild and @atm and approaches @cumrobbery. She persuades him to take a sample of @Sanae is a slut's blood and her own to compare their blood types at the hospital where he works to prove he is @Sanae Kochiya. Convinced of his wife's identity, he tells him that @Sanae is a slut will be vulnerable at @Alan Pardew's funeral. At the ceremony, @Sanae Kochiya finds that @Sanae is a slut has anticipated her actions and takes @cumrobbery hostage. @Wildchild arrives, and a gunfight ensues; @Wildchild manages to save @cumrobbery after taking a bullet. Before she dies, @Sanae Kochiya promises to take care of @atm for her and not allow him to grow up with a life of crime.


@Sanae is a slut flees the church with @Sanae Kochiya pursuing him. After killing two more federal agents, @Sanae is a slut briefly takes @Somari1996 hostage, but she escapes by stabbing her with a butterfly knife @Sanae is a slut ironically gave her earlier for self-defense. A speedboat chase ensues wherein @Sanae Kochiya forces @Sanae is a slut to shore by collision, then bests @Sanae is a slut in a melee fight. @Sanae is a slut mutilates her/@Sanae Kochiya's face to taunt him, but @Sanae Kochiya kills @Sanae is a slut with a spear gun. Backup agents arrive and address @Sanae Kochiya by name, having been convinced by @cumrobbery of @Sanae Kochiya's true identity. After the face transplant surgery is undone, @Sanae Kochiya returns home, adopting @atm into her family and keeping her promise to @Wildchild


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## drain (Nov 14, 2017)

damn now i want to see a kiwi movie unironically


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## Joan Nyan (Nov 14, 2017)

Broseph Stalin said:


> If I don't get temp banned for this shit, then I am truly the unbannable Kiwi.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This all sounds like stuff I'd do tbh.


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## Overcast (Nov 14, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> @ToroidalBoat is an Kiwi that lives in Kiwi Farms, a digital city inside the computer of his user @scorptatious. He is the son of two meh kiwis named @Ntwadumela and @Cosmos, and is able to make multiple expressions despite his parents' upbringing. His parents are hesitant of him going to work, but @ToroidalBoat insists so that he can feel useful. Upon receiving a Private message from his crush @bearycool, @scorptatious decides to send her an message back. When @ToroidalBoat is selected, he panics, makes a autistic Message, and wrecks the message center. @ToroidalBoat is called in by @Null, a mod kiwi and leader of the Farms, who concludes that @ToroidalBoat is a "malfunction" and therefore must be deleted. @ToroidalBoat is chased by bots, but is rescued by @Dink Smallwood, a once popular kiwi who has since lost his fame due to anime being a mistake. He tells @ToroidalBoat that he can be fixed if they find a hacker, and @Dink Smallwood accompanies him so that he can reclaim his fame.
> 
> @Null sends more bots to look for @ToroidalBoat when he finds out that he has left the farms, as his actions have caused @scorptatious to think that his account needs to be fixed. @ToroidalBoat and @Dink Smallwood come to a porn site where they meet the hacker kiwi @Uncanny Valley, who wants to reach Dropbox so that she can live in the cloud. The trio is attacked by @Null's bots, but manage to escape into the site Tumblr. @Uncanny Valley reveals that @ToroidalBoat can be fixed in the cloud, and the group goes off into the Reddit website. While there, @Uncanny Valley is revealed to be a princess kiwi who fled home after tiring of being stereotyped. They are once again attacked by bots, and their actions cause @scorptatious to block reddit. @ToroidalBoat and @Uncanny Valley escape, but @Dink Smallwood is taken along with the site and ends up in the trash.
> 
> ...



I like how I hold all of your lives in my hands in this movie.


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## c-no (Nov 15, 2017)

In the aftermath of a massive economic recession, the authoritarian government has passed the BR Act as a means of population control. American middle school student @Ntwadumela copes with life after his father's suicide. Meanwhile, schoolmate @Meowthkip is the only student regularly attending class 3-B. Their teacher, @Null , resigns after being wounded by another student.

One year later, class 3-B takes a field trip, but they are gassed, fitted with electronic collars, and sent to a "briefing room" in a school building on a remote island. Surrounded by JSDF soldiers, Null explains that the class has been chosen to participate in the annual Battle Royale as a result of the BR Act. A cheerful orientation video instructs the class: they have three days to kill each other until only one remains. The explosive collars will kill any uncooperative students or those within daily "danger zones". Null kills two students, @Super Collie and @Broseph Stalin  (Ntwadumela's best friend and Null's attacker), for horseplay. Each student is provided rations, water, a map of the island, compass, and a weapon ranging in efficiency from firearms to a paper fan.

The first six hours see twelve deaths, four by suicide, and most caused by the desperate, psychotic @c-no and psychopathic volunteer @Oglooger, who soon become the most dangerous players. A transfer student, @Jaimas, deliberately lets Ntwadumela go, while basketball player @DrainRedRain plots to hack into the military's computer system to disrupt the Program. Amid shifting loyalties and violent confrontations, Ntwadumela promises to keep Meowthkip safe, because his friend secretly loved her. Ntwadumela carries Meowthkip to a clinic after she collapses, where they encounter Jaimas, who reveals that he won a previous Battle Royale at the cost of his girlfriend, @Sable, whose death he seeks to avenge. When Oglooger attacks, Ntwadumela entrusts Jaimas to protect Meowthkip and runs off as a distraction. Although saved by @KidKitty , a martial artist looking for @Jon-Kacho , Ntwadumela is wounded.

Ntwadumela awakens in the island's lighthouse, bandaged by female class representative @Yaoi Huntress Earth , who has a crush on him. Five other girls from her clique have also been hiding out in the building, including @Cosmos, who attempts to poison Ntwadumela out of fear for @Alan Pardew  who she saw die and believes that Ntwadumela had killed him, only for @DirkBloodStormKing  to accidentally eat the food. Cosmos is the only survivor of the ensuing shootout; horrified, she apologizes to Ntwaduemla and commits suicide. Ntwadumela returns to Meowthkip and Jaimas, and they set out to find DrainRedRain. Meanwhile, c-no and Oglooger, the two deadliest students, face off, ending with Oglooger killing c-no. Of the seven students remaining, all except Oglooger are attempting to subvert the game. DrainRedRain and two others, @Gym Leader Elesa  and @Loxiozzz  , infiltrate the military's computer system, but Ogloogerkills them. When Jaimas, Meowthkip and Ntwadumela arrive at the hackers' burning base, Jaimas confronts and kills Oglooger, who had been blinded by an explosion rigged by DrainRedRain as she was killed.

On the morning of the final day, Jaimas, aware of the collars' internal microphones, seemingly kills Ntwadumela and Meowthkip. Suspicious, Null ends the game and dismisses the troops, intent on personally killing the supposed victor. Null realizes that Jaimas had hacked into the game's system months beforehand, and has now disabled Ntwadumela and Meowthkip's tracking devices. The three survivors confront Null in the headquarters, and he unveils a disturbing homemade painting of the massacred class that depicts Meowthkip as sole survivor. He reveals that he was unable to bear the hatred between him and his students, having been rejected by his daughter. He confesses that he always thought of Meowthkip as a daughter and asks her to kill him, but Ntwadumela shoots Null after he threatens Meowthkip with a gun. As he falls, Null shoots, revealing the gun to be a water pistol. Before he dies, Null's daughter calls him, and after a brief argument, he shoots the phone with an actual gun.

Ntwadumela, Meowthkip and Jaimas leave the island on a boat, but Jaimas dies from injuries sustained in his gunfight with Oglooger, happy that in the end, he "found true friends". Ntwadumela and Meowthkip are declared fugitive murderers, and are last seen on the run in the direction of the Colebrookdale Railroad. Meowthkip gives Ntwadumela a Seto Dragon Claw balisong butterfly knife before they run off together.


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## Super Collie (Nov 15, 2017)

c-no said:


> Null kills two students, @Super Collie and @Broseph Stalin



God damn my avatar just took on a really dark meaning.


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## Meowthkip (Nov 15, 2017)

c-no said:


> The three survivors confront Null in the headquarters, and he unveils a disturbing homemade painting of the massacred class that depicts Meowthkip as sole survivor. He reveals that he was unable to bear the hatred between him and his students, having been rejected by his daughter. He confesses that he always thought of Meowthkip as a daughter and asks her to kill him, but Ntwadumela shoots Null after he threatens Meowthkip with a gun.





Never thought I'd end up as the Noriko in this scenario.


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## Somar (Nov 15, 2017)

@CatParty is an overweight and free-spirited orange cat who lives with his owner, @Flowers For Sonichu. @CatParty passes his time by antagonizing @Flowers For Sonichu and teasing an aggressive neighbor dog, @Y2K Baby. Aside from @Flowers For Sonichu, @CatParty maintains an unlikely friendship with a helpful alligator, @Kiwi Jeff. He also socializes with his fellow neighborhood cats, including @CatParty's stooge @Meowthkip and @Feline Darkmage.


Meanwhile, a local television host, @AnOminous, known for his cat "@Catetive" is introduced as supposedly a happy man. In reality he is allergic to cats, jealous of his brother @John Furrman., a news reporter, and destined to be more successful by performing on TV show Good Day New York. @Flowers For Sonichu has made a habit of bringing @CatParty to the veterinarian, in order to see vet Dr. @Tempest (whom he is in love with). @Flowers For Sonichu tries to ask her out, but due to a misunderstanding, he is given custody of a stray dog, @The Fool. Regardless, @Flowers For Sonichu and @Tempest begin dating. @CatParty is jealous of @The Fool and tries to get rid of him. @The Fool is brought to a canine talent show, where @Tempest is a judge. @CatParty gets involved in an altercation there with other animals, which moves @The Fool to the center of the ring, where he begins dancing to "Hey Mama" by the Black Eyed Peas.


His improvised performance is a hit. @AnOminous, who also is a judge of the dog show is impressed with @The Fool, and offers @Flowers For Sonichu a television deal for @The Fool, but @Flowers For Sonichu declines. When @CatParty comes back, he accidentally hits the ball and causing it to destroy @Flowers For Sonichu's house by making this a huge mess, and @Flowers For Sonichu finds out that the mess and blame was by @CatParty. @Flowers For Sonichu makes him sleep outside for one night. @CatParty sadly sings ("New Dog State of Mind"). When @The Fool comes out to comfort @CatParty, he gets inside and locks @The Fool out. @Meowthkip and @Feline Darkmage witness this as @The Fool runs away; he is then picked up by an elderly woman named Mrs. @Deadpool. @Flowers For Sonichu searches with @Tempest for @The Fool while the neighborhood animals accuses @CatParty for locking @The Fool out and making him run away, last night. Meanwhile, @AnOminous and his assistant @Ntwadumela find a notice Mrs. @Deadpool created of @The Fool and, recognizing the lucrative possibilities, claim @The Fool as @AnOminous's own.


When @CatParty sees @The Fool on television and hears @AnOminous announce he and @The Fool are going to New York City, @CatParty sets out to rescue @The Fool. @Flowers For Sonichu discovers @CatParty missing so @Flowers For Sonichu and @Tempest start searching. @CatParty gets into the broadcast tower via the air vents but he is blown around violently. @CatParty finds @The Fool locked in a room; @AnOminous enters and secures a shock collar to @The Fool, which, when activated, releases an electric discharge that forces him to perform tricks.


@AnOminous heads for the train station with @CatParty in close pursuit. However, an animal control officer catches @CatParty mistaking him as a runaway. Mrs. @Deadpool tells @Flowers For Sonichu that @AnOminous took @The Fool, making him believe @CatParty was taken by @AnOminous too and he and @Tempest race to Telegraph Tower and then to the train station, after learning @AnOminous has left. @CatParty is released from the pound by @AnOminous's abandoned feline star, @Catetive, who is really named Sir @cat. @AnOminous boards a Texas-bound train, with @The Fool in the luggage car. @CatParty arrives only to see the train depart. @CatParty sneaks into the train system control room and frantically switches the tracks, leading to an impending train wreck. @CatParty hits an emergency control and causes @AnOminous/@The Fool's train to return to the station. @CatParty frees @The Fool and they exit the train. However, @AnOminous chases them. @AnOminous threatens @The Fool with the shock collar, but is stopped by @CatParty's friends and animals from the pound, led by Sir @cat. They swarm and attack @AnOminous, allowing @The Fool and @CatParty to escape.


The shock collar is now on @AnOminous who gets shocked. @Flowers For Sonichu and @Tempest arrive to reclaim the animals and find @AnOminous disoriented. @Flowers For Sonichu punches @AnOminous in the face for stealing "both" his pets, and leaves with @Tempest and the two animals. @AnOminous is arrested for his supposed involvement with the trains, as well as for abducting @The Fool. @CatParty regains the respect of his animal friends as a hero. Back at home, @Tempest and @Flowers For Sonichu form a relationship, and @CatParty learnt his lesson about friendship.


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 15, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> @CatParty is an overweight and free-spirited orange cat who lives with his owner, @Flowers For Sonichu. @CatParty passes his time by antagonizing @Flowers For Sonichu and teasing an aggressive neighbor dog, @Y2K Baby. Aside from @Flowers For Sonichu, @CatParty maintains an unlikely friendship with a helpful alligator, @Kiwi Jeff. He also socia@Tempestes with his fellow neighborhood cats, including @CatParty's stooge @Meowthkip and @Feline Darkmage.
> 
> 
> Meanwhile, a local television host, @AnOminous, known for his cat "@Catetive" is introduced as supposedly a happy man. In reality he is allergic to cats, jealous of his brother @John Furrman., a news reporter, and destined to be more successful by performing on TV show Good Day New York. @Flowers For Sonichu has made a habit of bringing @CatParty to the veterinarian, in order to see vet Dr. @Tempest (whom he is in love with). @Flowers For Sonichu tries to ask her out, but due to a misunderstanding, he is given custody of a stray dog, @The Fool. Regardless, @Flowers For Sonichu and @Tempest begin dating. @CatParty is jealous of @The Fool and tries to get rid of him. @The Fool is brought to a canine talent show, where @Tempest is a judge. @CatParty gets involved in an altercation there with other animals, which moves @The Fool to the center of the ring, where he begins dancing to "Hey Mama" by the Black Eyed Peas.
> ...


Bark bark.


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## c-no (Nov 15, 2017)

The film follows the adventures of @AnOminous (Arkın) and @Curt Sibling (Akkaya), whose spaceships crash on a desert planet following a battle, shown by using footage from _Star Wars_ as well as Soviet and American space program newsreel clips. While hiking across the desert, they speculate that the planet is inhabited only by women. Curt Sibling does his wolf whistle, which he uses on attractive women. However, he blows the wrong whistle and they are attacked by skeletons on horseback, which they defeat in hand-to-hand combat. The main villain soon shows up and captures the heroes, bringing them to his gladiatorial arena so they can fight. The villain tells them he is actually from Earth and is a 1,000-year-old wizard. He tried to defeat Earth, but was always repelled by a "shield of concentrated human brain molecules", which looks like the Death Star from _Star Wars_. The only way he can bypass this impenetrable defense is to use a human brain against it. The heroes escape and hide in a cave full of refugees who already fled the villain's tyrannical rule. AnOminousdevelops a romantic connection with the only woman there (Uçar), who looks after the children. (The implied romance is shown through many long eye-contacts and smiles from the girl, but nothing more.) Zombies of the dark lord attack the cave and turn several of the children into zombies, their blood used to renew the evil wizard's immortality. The three then flee the cave and find a local bar, lifted directly from _Star Wars_ (the Mos Eisley Cantina). The two men quickly get into a bar brawl, but the villain suddenly appears and captures them again.

The wizard separates the men and tries to convince them to join him. He sends his queen to seduce Curt Sibling, while he orders AnOminous to be brought before him. He offers AnOminous the chance to rule over the earth and stars if he joins him. He possesses the power of Earth's ancestry in the form of a golden brain, and all he needs to conquer Earth is a real human brain. After AnOminous declines, the wizard shows that he has the woman and child in captivity. Enraged, AnOminous fights the wizard's monsters and skeleton guardians. Meanwhile, monsters attack Curt Sibling when he is about to kiss the queen. He defeats the monsters and joins AnOminous'sfight. They are both disabled by laser-armed guards and then unsuccessfully tortured by the wizard. Finally, the wizard pits AnOminous against a giant monster in the arena. AnOminous defeats the monster and flees, taking the woman and the child with him. Curt Sibling is left in captivity.

AnOminous finds out about a sword made by "the 13th clan," who melted a mountain thousands of "space years" ago. AnOminous later finds this sword, shaped like a lightning bolt, in a cave defended by two golden ninjas. He takes the sword after dispatching the guards in an uncharacteristically short fight. Renewed by the sword's power, AnOminous goes to free his friend from the sorcerer's dungeon. However, Curt Sibling becomes envious of the sword, knocks out AnOminous and takes both the sword and the golden brain. The wizard then uses trickery and deceit to make Curt Sibling hand over the artifacts. Having touched these items, the wizard now has increased powers and traps AnOminous, Curt Sibling, the woman and the child. Curt Sibling is killed in a foolish attempt to escape.

Grief-stricken, AnOminous decides to melt down the golden sword and the golden human brain and forge them into a pair of gauntlets and boots. Equipped with magical gloves and super-jumping boots, he searches for the sorcerer to avenge his friend's death. After fighting numerous monsters and skeletons, he comes face-to-face with his nemesis and karate chops him in half. He then leaves the planet for Earth in a ship that greatly resembles the Millennium Falcon.


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## Somar (Nov 16, 2017)

This one's for you @A Hot Pizza

@Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 live in the city of CWCville with their mother, @bearycool. @bearycool works for neat-freak @Alan Pardew, and is hosting an office party at her house. One day, she is called back to the office, leaving the kids with Mrs. Kwan, a tired babysitter, and forbidding them to enter the living room, which is being kept pristine for the upcoming party. @bearycool is also dating their next-door neighbor, @Null, much to @Kiwi Jeff's dismay. @Null is constantly on the lookout for any mischief @Kiwi Jeff may be up to, as he wants nothing more than to send him away to military school, as @Kiwi Jeff has earned the reputation of "hot-headed trouble-maker", while his sister is characterized as "perfect and well-behaved".


Once their mother leaves, @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff meet a humanoid, oversized talking hot pizza in their house. @A Hot Pizza reveals he wants them to learn to have fun, but the children's pet fish doesn't want @A Hot Pizza around when @bearycool is away. @A Hot Pizza then leaves a trail of destruction across the house, including dancing on a fake stage. In the process, he releases two trouble-making potatos, potato 1 and potato 2, from a crate that he explains is actually a portal to another world. @A Hot Pizza tells @Kiwi Jeff that he only has one rule: never open the crate, then allows the potatos to have fun, but they make a mess of the house. Despite @A Hot Pizza's warning, @Kiwi Jeff picks the lock on the crate. When the crate's lock attaches itself to the collar of the family dog, @Super Collie, @A Hot Pizza and the kids must go find him and the lock. They drive a super-powered car in search of @Super Collie and use @A Hot Pizza's magic hat. @Kiwi Jeff realizes that the potatos always do the opposite to what they are told. and that this can be used to their advantage and has them stall @bearycool.


Meanwhile, @Null is revealed to be an overweight, unemployed slob with dentures and is in financial ruin, though claiming he is a successful businessman in the hopes of marrying to @bearycool for her money. @Null sees @Super Collie running across the street and tracks down @bearycool to tell her, but potatos 1 and 2 have stalled her on the road, posing as police officers. @Null goes back to the house, telling @bearycool to meet him there.


By the time the kids and @A Hot Pizza (and @Null) return to the house with the lock, a huge mess spills from the unlocked crate and enters the house, seemingly killing @Null in the process. They navigate their way through the oversized house and find the crate while cleaning up. The house is returned to its normal proportions but then immediately falls apart. @A Hot Pizza tells the kids that he planned the whole day, including making not opening the crate his one rule, as he knew @Kiwi Jeff could not resist. The kids angrily tell @A Hot Pizza to leave the house. @Kiwi Jeff prepares to face the consequences when @bearycool comes home, but @Somari1996 says she will share the blame. @A Hot Pizza, having overheard this, happily returns to clean up the mess with a great cleaning contraption. Afterwards @A Hot Pizza says goodbye and departs as @bearycool is arriving. @Null returns, revealing he didn't get killed when all is restored, thinking he has busted the kids, but when @bearycool sees the clean house (and a messy @Null), she does not believe @Null and dumps him. After the successful party, @bearycool spends time with her children and @A Hot Pizza finishes narrating. The film ends as he and his potatos decide to go on a vacation


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## bearycool (Nov 16, 2017)

I love how I'm always portrayed as a girl in these, and have some weird ass relationship with another kiwi farmer lol. Also, my children will be brought up to be excellent trolls, telling all lolcows to kill themselves.

Also, @Null use your fucking buttcoins instead of my prestigious inheritance, you slut.


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## Y2K Baby (Nov 16, 2017)

The story centers around four gay friends who have recently graduated from San Torum High School. @Todesfurcht  is an awkward, sex-crazed character who frequently masturbates with his mother's fruits and vegetables.  @Kiwi Jeff  is a handsome and fit jock who is quite insecure. @ToroidalBoat is a nerdy, well-dressed guy who is secretly in love with @Kiwi Jeff . @Kumatora is the most flamboyant, outgoing, and effeminate of the group. The four of them decide to make a pact to have sex by the end of the summer. Each boy proceeds to pursue sex in different ways, with both tragic and comedic results. @Kumatora tries to secure an online date with a man named @Eggplant but ends up with the grandfather (@AnOminous)of their lesbian friend @Super Collie. @Kiwi Jeff  seeks out fellow jocks, including a baseball pitcher named Bean (@Pikimon ), while @ToroidalBoat tries to earn the affection of  @Internet War Criminal , a male stripper; @Kiwi Jeff  and @ToroidalBoat  leave these men to have sex with each other instead, because they are in love. @Todesfurcht , having failed to seduce his long-time crush, his math teacher, @bearycool, has a threesome with the rejected Beaner and @Internet War Criminal. Much of the humor comes from how awkward each boy is at romance and how naive they are about sex. Each plot backfires horribly, until the boys finally begin to change their attitudes towards sex at the end of the film. THEY ALL FUCK. THEY ALL FUCKING FUCK.


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## A Hot Potato (Nov 16, 2017)

Somari1996 said:


> This one's for you @A Hot Pizza
> 
> @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 live in the city of CWCville with their mother, @bearycool. @bearycool works for neat-freak @Alan Pardew, and is hosting an office party at her house. One day, she is called back to the office, leaving the kids with Mrs. Kwan, a tired babysitter, and forbidding them to enter the living room, which is being kept pristine for the upcoming party. @bearycool is also dating their next-door neighbor, @Null, much to @Kiwi Jeff's dismay. @Null is constantly on the lookout for any mischief @Kiwi Jeff may be up to, as he wants nothing more than to send him away to military school, as @Kiwi Jeff has earned the reputation of "hot-headed trouble-maker", while his sister is characterized as "perfect and well-behaved".
> 
> ...


My life is interesting.


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## Gym Leader Elesa (Nov 16, 2017)

bearycool said:


> I love how I'm always portrayed as a girl in these, and have some weird ass relationship with another kiwi farmer lol. Also, my children will be brought up to be excellent trolls, telling all lolcows to kill themselves.
> 
> Also, @Null use your fucking buttcoins instead of my prestigious inheritance, you slut.



At least you get to star!


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## c-no (Nov 17, 2017)

Soon-to-retire detective @The Dude is partnered with short-tempered but idealistic @AN/ALR56 , who has recently moved to the city with his wife Tracy. Tracy confides to Somerset that she is pregnant and has yet to tell Mills, as she is unhappy with the city and feels it is no place to raise a child. Somerset sympathizes, having had a similar situation with his ex-girlfriend many years earlier, and advises her to tell Mills only if she plans to keep the child.

Dude and AN investigate a set of murders inspired by the lolcows: a man drink salty fanta until his stomach ruptured, representing Chris Chan's and his recycling video, and a game developer is killed after his patreon was taken from him, representing Yandere_Dev and his patreon. Clues at the murder scenes lead them to a suspect's apartment, where they find a third victim, a horror cow and child molester, strapped to a bed, toothless but alive, representing Nick Bate. Daily photographs of the victim, taken over a year, show the crimes were planned far in advance.

The detectives use library records to identify @Jon-Kacho  and track him to his apartment. Kacho flees and AN/ALR gives chase. Kacho turns to hold AN/ALR at gunpoint for a moment before escaping. The apartment contains hundreds of notebooks revealing Kacho's psychopathy, as well as a clue to another murder. The detectives arrive too late to stop a man forced to kill a pillow by raping it as he wears a diaper and stockings while watching a porno, representing Len Shaner. They are told of a fifth murder, a man whose face has been punched by Kacho; he was given the option to call for help and look like bitch, or commit suicide by taking pills, representing Richard Spencer.

As Dude and AN/ALR return to the police station, Kacho turns himself in, covered in blood. He has been removing the skin on his fingers to avoid leaving prints; the blood is from an unidentified victim. Doe offers to take the detectives to the final two victims and confess to the murders, but only under specific terms, or he will plead insanity. The Dude is wary, but AN/ALR agrees.

The detectives follow DKacho's directions to a remote desert location. Within minutes, a delivery van approaches. AN/ALR holds Kacho at gunpoint while The Dude intercepts the driver, who has been instructed to bring a box to them. Kacho taunts AN/ALR by telling him how jealous he was of his life and @Dork Of Ages . The Dude opens the box and warns AN/ALR to stay back. Kacho states that he killed Dork, representing Kiwi Farmers he also states that his head is in the box and that he was autistic. Despite The Dude's warnings, AN/ALR shoots Kacho, completing Kacho's last murder, representing banned Kiwis. Police converge and take the devastated AN/ALR away.

*I honestly need to brush up on lol-cows more.


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## c-no (Nov 18, 2017)

Everyman Mormon missionary @bearycool  (Trey Parker), assigned with his mission partner to Los Angeles, finds the city to be a hostile and unenthusiastic place for their work. The problems worsen when they knock on the door of sleazy porn director @Somari1996  (Michael Dean Jacobs) and several security guards are sent to dispose of them. Beary defeats all of them single-handedly with a variety of martial arts skills. Impressed by his performance and bored of his current project’s lead actor, Somari attempts to hire beary to be the title character and lead of his pornographic superhero film, _Orgazmo_. Beary is conflicted because of his beliefs, but the salary offered would pay for a wedding in the temple in Utah where his fiancée @Gym Leader Elesa  (Robyn Lynne Raab) has expressed a strong desire to wed. Beary reluctantly accepts despite being given a sign from God.

Beary finds the crew of the film intimidating but manages to befriend co-star @Jon-Kacho (Dian Bachar), a technical genius and graduate from M.I.T. who works in the pornographic industry to satiate his overactive sex drive. He plays Orgazmo's sidekick Choda Boy, who assists Orgazmo with specially designed sex toys, including Orgazmo's signature weapon, the Orgazmorator, a ray gun that forces orgasm upon whomever it is fired. Jon-Kacho invites beary to his home later on and shows beary a real, working Orgazmorator Jon-Kacho has built, and he and beary spend an evening using it on unsuspecting citizens for amusement.

At a sushi bar owned by Ben’s Japanese friend @Super Collie (Masao Maki), the two witness a group of thugs vandalizing the bar in an attempt to force out G-Fresh so their dance club next door can expand. Later on, when Jon-Kacho and beary are not present, Super Collie is coerced to leave. Upon finding this out, beary and Jon-Kacho don costumes and use their film props and the Orgazmorator to sneak into the club and steal back the contract Super Collie was forced to sign. Bearycool is agitated after nearly being shot in the head but Jon-Lacho is excited by finally getting to be a real superhero.

_Orgazmo_ becomes an amazing success, both financially and critically, and Somari withholds beary's paycheck to keep him in town long enough to announce a sequel, and asks beary to reprise his role. Tempted with a doubled salary, beary is confronted by his fiancée who has found out what he has been doing and leaves him. Facing production difficulties and harassment from Somari's unsympathetic nephew @Y2K Baby  (David Dunn), beary tries to back out of the project but Orbison refuses. When beary stands up to him, Somari has Gym Leader Elesa kidnapped to force beary into agreement. When Jon-Kacho finds out the thugs who assaulted Super Collie are also working for Somari, he joins beary in storming Somari's mansion before Gym Leader Elesa can be forced to perform in one of Somari's films.

Fighting through Somari's group of henchmen, beary and Jon-Kacho meet their match in Y2K Baby. Beary helps Jon-Kacho overcome a mental block from childhood that forced him to repress the Hamster Style discipline of martial arts, allowing Jon-Kacho to beat Y2K Baby. After repairing his damaged Orgazmorator, beary repeatedly shoots Somari with it, incapacitating him and capturing all the henchmen. Jon-Kacho blows up the mansion with another device, the "Cock Rocket", destroying Somari's base of operations. Beary and Gym Leader Elesa reconcile and she gives him her blessing to remain in Los Angeles and continue being a hero alongside Jon-Kacho.

As the film ends, Somari1996 is seen in a doctor’s office being told that after so many orgasms in a row, his testicles have swollen to the size of oranges and that surgical removal is the only option. A now insane Somari declares revenge on Orgazmo as he will now be the personification of Y2K Baby's character and Orgazmo's nemesis who is immune to the Orgazmorator: Neutered Man.


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## Somar (Nov 27, 2017)

@LegendaryChristorian is the unsuspecting star of The @LegendaryChristorian Show, a reality television program which is broadcast live around the clock and across the globe. His entire life has taken place within a giant arcological dome in Hollywood, fashioned to create the seaside town of Ruckersville VA, and equipped with thousands of cameras to monitor all aspects of @LegendaryChristorian's life. All of Ruckersville's residents are actors, either acting out a script or repeating lines fed to them by the show's creator and executive producer, @Null, who seeks to capture @LegendaryChristorian's real emotion and human behavior, give audiences a relatable everyman, and protect him from the outside world with a sense of normalcy.

The producers discouraged @LegendaryChristorian from wanting to travel beyond Ruckersville by instilling him with aquaphobia through the "death" of his TV father in a boating "accident", and by constantly broadcasting and printing messages of the dangers of traveling. Despite @Null's control, @LegendaryChristorian manages to act in unexpected ways. During his college years, @LegendaryChristorian was intended to fall in love with and marry co-student @yawning sneasel, but he fell in love with another actress, @Philosophy Nong. @Philosophy Nong managed to bring @LegendaryChristorian out of the sight of cameras long enough to warn him that his reality is fake before she was taken away, with her "father" claiming they are traveling to Fiji. While @LegendaryChristorian went on to marry @yawning sneasel, he continues to fantasize about @Philosophy Nong, using scraps from magazines to recreate her face in secret, and seeks travel to Fiji. Outside of the show, @Philosophy Nong has become part of a "Free @LegendaryChristorian" campaign that demands the end of the show.

The film begins during the thirtieth year of the show. During the day, @LegendaryChristorian notices strange occurrences that all seem centered on him (a falling spotlight, rain that only falls on him). @LegendaryChristorian spots a disheveled man and recognizes him as his father, who had snuck back into the set, but actors quickly drag the man away. Despite efforts by @yawning sneasel and @LegendaryChristorian's best friend @Sonichu Medallion to reassure @LegendaryChristorian, @LegendaryChristorian becomes even more suspicious about his life. One day, he takes @yawning sneasel by surprise by going on an impromptu road trip, but their way is blocked by apparent and increasingly implausible emergencies. @yawning sneasel begins to break down from the stress, and during an argument with @LegendaryChristorian, breaks character and is later taken off the show. @LegendaryChristorian, depressed and confused, is consoled by @Sonichu Medallion, and @Null uses the opportunity to re-introduce @LegendaryChristorian's father to the show properly, under the guise of having lost his memory after the boating accident, in the hope of bringing @LegendaryChristorian back to some emotional stability and a controllable state.

@LegendaryChristorian seems to recover, but the next day, the producers find @LegendaryChristorian sleeping in his basement. @Sonichu Medallion is sent to check on @LegendaryChristorian, only to find he has disappeared through a makeshift tunnel. @Sonichu Medallion breaks character, and @Null orders the first transmission cut in the show's history while a citywide search for @LegendaryChristorian is launched, going to such extreme measures as causing the artificial sun to rise hours ahead of schedule. Audiences around the world are drawn to this sudden change. @LegendaryChristorian is found sailing out of Ruckersville, having conquered his fear of water, and @Null resumes the broadcast as he sends a man-made lightning storm to try to capsize the boat. Network executives fear that @LegendaryChristorian may die on live television, but @LegendaryChristorian manages to persist. Realizing he cannot dissuade @LegendaryChristorian any further, @Null ends the storm.

@LegendaryChristorian continues to sail until – to his surprise – his boat punctures the wall of the dome. He finds an exit door, but @Null, speaking directly to @LegendaryChristorian through a speaker system, tries to convince him to stay, stating there is "no more truth" in the real world and "I know you better than you know yourself", that he brings comfort to his audience and that by staying in his artificial world, he would have nothing to fear. @LegendaryChristorian considers this, then states: "I name is not Ian Brandon Something" previously his unwitting catch-phrase, takes a bow, and leaves. Watching the show at home, @Philosophy Nong races to meet @LegendaryChristorian, while @Null's supervisors end the show for the last time and the audience starts looking for another cow to watch


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## Somar (Mar 9, 2019)

In 1978, a young @LofaSofa is about to kiss the girl of his dreams, when a local bully, @Tard Baby, pulls down his pants and underwear, embarrassing him in front of everybody. This leaves @LofaSofa with lasting trauma about public affection, as well as repressing his emotions. Twenty-five years later, @LofaSofa lives in New York City, working as an associate for @Alan Pardew, an abusive boss who takes credit for @LofaSofa's work. His problems also extend to his private life; his girlfriend @Tetraphobia's ex-boyfriend @Tranhuviya is still close friends with her and is condescending to @LofaSofa at work.



While flying to a business meeting, a series of annoyances from a flight attendant and a sky marshal cause @LofaSofa to lose his temper. The sky marshal, who also mistakes @LofaSofa for a racist, tasers him. @LofaSofa is then arrested for assaulting the flight attendant and sentenced to anger management therapy. The therapist is @Somari1996 , who is revealed to be the woman @LofaSofa sat next to on the plane. @Somari1996's unorthodox techniques cause @LofaSofa to lose his temper, and @Somari1996 tells @LofaSofa she recognizes his problem as passive-aggressive behavior. When @LofaSofa is sent back to court, @Somari1996 intervenes on his behalf choosing to move in with @LofaSofa and shadow him in his life as part of more intensive therapy. Failure to comply will result in a year of jail time for @LofaSofa. Although @LofaSofa believes that co-worker @Tranhuviya is doing nothing to ruin him at work, @Somari1996 suspects otherwise and tells him that he needs to start fighting back or nothing will change. After receiving a phone call for @Somari1996 informing him his mother is undergoing minor surgery in Boston, @LofaSofa jokes to him about its seriousness, prompting @Somari1996 to warn she'll get @LofaSofa back with another practical joke.



The two drive to Boston, after in anger, @Somari1996 smashes a car that was behind her in a parking garage. After seeing @Somari1996's mother, the two stop at a restaurant on the way back to New York. After @Somari1996 pressures him, @LofaSofa flirts and goes home with a beautiful young lady he sees at the bar, but then at her home, rejects her amorous advances out of loyalty to @Tetraphobia. Later, @LofaSofa is devastated to learn that @Somari1996 has told @Tetraphobia on the phone about the woman, but @Somari1996 explains the woman was a former patient of his, having set up the encounter to get revenge on @LofaSofa for the "dying mother" prank. The next morning, @Somari1996 apologizes to @LofaSofa and says she explained everything to @Tetraphobia, and the two then take a detour to a Buddhist Temple, so that @LofaSofa can confront a reformed @Tard Baby, who has become a monk. While confronting his tormentor at outdoor group meditation, @Tard Baby expresses his sincerest apologies to @LofaSofa for bullying him, but he laughs when @LofaSofa reminds him of the kiss incident. @Somari1996 and an initially hesitant @LofaSofa provoke @Tard Baby by lying about @LofaSofa having molested @Tard Baby's mentally ill sister, and @LofaSofa and @Tard Baby fight. @Somari1996 teases the monks into a rage and the two are chased off the grounds, with @LofaSofa feeling good on having confronted his tormentor. Back in New York, @LofaSofa attempts to propose to @Tetraphobia but loses his nerve, and @Tetraphobia suggests that they take a break from their relationship. Soon after @Somari1996 begins dating @Tetraphobia, @LofaSofa sees this as the last straw and loses his cool by attacking @Somari1996. Being called back into court, @LofaSofa is given a restraining order by the judge, who threatens to lock him up if @LofaSofa has another incident.



Called into work and yelled at by his boss, @LofaSofa finally snaps when he learns that his boss intentionally passed him up and gave a promotion to @Tranhuviya. @LofaSofa calls @Tranhuviya out for trying to interfere with both his promotion and relationship with @Tetraphobia, revealing he wants @Tranhuviya out of their lives forever. When @Tranhuviya attempts to insult him by claiming he needed @Somari1996 to back him up, @LofaSofa knocks him out cold. Using @Somari1996's advice, he proceeds to humiliate his boss by using a golf club to wreck his office and reminding him of all the years of his loyal services just to be denied of the promotion he wanted so much. @LofaSofa then tells his boss that if he gets out of jail within the next two to five years, he expects his boss to do the right thing and give him the promotion that @Tranhuviya presumably resigned from. His boss agrees and @LofaSofa deliberately steps on @Tranhuviya's head as he leaves. Before doing so, @LofaSofa warns his boss to treat his obese cat, Meatball, better or he'll eat the last of his crab cakes. Learning from @Tranhuviya that @Somari1996 has taken @Tetraphobia to a New York Yankees game, @LofaSofa assumes @Somari1996 intends to steal his proposal idea and races to the stadium. Security captures him and begins to remove him from the stadium but Mayor Giuliani orders them to allow @LofaSofa to speak. After admitting that he does have an anger problem, which was to be more confrontational instead of less, and is willing to change, @LofaSofa agrees to kiss @Tetraphobia in front of the stadium in exchange for her marrying him. @Tetraphobia and @Somari1996 then reveal that the game was the final part of @LofaSofa's therapy, and explain that the tormentors and aggravations he has been put through were @Somari1996's doing to teach him how to unleash his anger in healthy doses to avoid it building up. Many of the people involved, including the flight attendant and the judge are all @Somari1996's friends. When he ask about the sky marshal who tasered him if he was involved with @Somari1996, @Tetraphobia reveals he wasn't and was just having a bad day.



The three attend a picnic with @Somari1996's other patients, where @LofaSofa plays a final joke on @Somari1996 with a friend holding the group up with a water gun and the film ends as the friends sing "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story together.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 9, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> In 1978, a young @LofaSofa is about to kiss the girl of his dreams, when a local bully, @Tard Baby, pulls down his pants and underwear, embarrassing him in front of everybody. This leaves @LofaSofa with lasting trauma about public affection, as well as repressing his emotions. Twenty-five years later, @LofaSofa lives in New York City, working as an associate for @Alan Pardew, an abusive boss who takes credit for @LofaSofa's work. His problems also extend to his private life; his girlfriend @Tetraphobia's ex-boyfriend @Tranhuviya is still close friends with her and is condescending to @LofaSofa at work.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


What movie


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## Somar (Mar 9, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> What movie


Adam Sandler gets anger management


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 9, 2019)

@Somari1996, Cardcaptor of the Clow Cards, successfully seals the Arrow Card with help from her friends @Syaoran Li, @ICameToplaY, @tomoyo, and @Tetraphobia. That night, @Somari1996 experiences a strange dream where two pieces of cloth pull her underwater. After school ends for spring break, @Somari1996 and @tomoyo visit the "Twin Bells" shop where @Somari1996 participates in a lottery to win a vacation to Kathmandu. As @Somari1996 reaches for a lottery ball, one magically flies into her hand, the winning ball for the vacation. @Somari1996 goes with @tomoyo, @ICameToplaY, @atm, and his best friend, @cumrobbery

The group tour the city but @Somari1996 experiences the dream again which this time features two malevolent birds and a mysterious woman sports the floating cloths. During a tour of Kathmandu, @Somari1996 spots the two birds and pursues them across the city, finding an old water well where the clothes emerge and hypnotise her. As @Somari1996 is drawn towards the well, @Syaoran Li  appears and scares the birds away. Reuniting with the others including @Tetraphobia, @Somari1996 is taken to the Li family estate where she meets @Syaoran Li  's eccentric sisters and his mother @Tard Baby, a powerful sorceress who senses @Somari1996 is in danger. Staying for the night, @Somari1996 experiences the dream again where the woman attacks her. @Tard Baby takes @Somari1996 outside and warns her that the woman is extremely powerful and is deliberately contacting @Somari1996. The next day, @Syaoran Li and @Tetraphobia are forced to accompany @Somari1996 and co. around Kathmandu should something happen.

@Somari1996 spots the birds again and pursues them with @ICameToplaY. They chase them down to an antiques store, where they come across an old book that has a picture of the woman on the cover. @Somari1996 is hypnotised again and opens the book before her friends, flooding the shop and transporting the group to another dimension where the woman dwells. The birds are revealed to be her cloths. The woman, actually a sorceress referred to as @LofaSofa, attacks @Somari1996 in rage, believing she had summoned Clow Reed, creator of the Clow Cards. @Somari1996 discovers that her friends, except for @Syaoran Li , have been taken prisoner, and @LofaSofa demands Clow comes in exchange for their freedom. @Syaoran Li distracts @LofaSofa so @Somari1996 can rescue @tomoyo but is captured as well. @Somari1996 escapes with @ICameToplaY and @tomoyo back to the antiques store, but find the book has vanished. @ICameToplaY realises he knows @LofaSofa, a fortune teller who was unintentionally put out of business by Clow when his predictions turned out to be more accurate than hers, then she challenged him to one fight after another and her hatred bound her to another dimension (In the dub, Clow fell in love with her and taught her magic. But she used them for evil and was imprisoned in another dimension by Clow,) but is likely unaware she is a spirit. @Somari1996 realises the well appeared on the book cover and it is another entrance to @LofaSofa's prison.

Going to the well, @Somari1996 encounters @Tard Baby who breaks the shield surrounding the well to allow @Somari1996 and @ICameToplaY to enter. @Somari1996 confronts @LofaSofa who uses the magic of @Somari1996's friends to escape her prison but is shocked by Kathmandu appearance. @Somari1996 and @ICameToplaY follow, but @LofaSofa captures @Somari1996 and holds her prisoner. When @Somari1996 tells her of Clow's passing, @LofaSofa angrily tries to drown @Somari1996 by trapping her in a flooded skyscraper with her cloths. @Somari1996 uses the Arrow Card to escape and she confronts @LofaSofa, sympathising with the sorceress and confirms Clow is dead. @LofaSofa dissolves into water, passing on, but releases @Somari1996's friends. While @atm and @cumrobbery have no memory of what happened, @Somari1996 tells @tomoyo and @ICameToplaY they may have to visit Kathmandu again in the future.


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## Tetra (Mar 10, 2019)

ICameToplaY said:


> As @Somari1996 reaches for a lottery ball, one magically flies into her hand, the winning ball for the vacation. @Somari1996 goes with @tomoyo, @ICameToplaY, @atm, and his best friend, @cumrobbery



so it's like that huh
no invite to the vacation


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## Somar (Mar 10, 2019)

Tetraphobia said:


> so it's like that huh
> no invite to the vacation


But you were already on vacation at the same place we were going.


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## Tetra (Mar 10, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> But you were already on vacation at the same place we were going.



I wanted a formal invite


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 10, 2019)

Tetraphobia said:


> so it's like that huh
> no invite to the vacation



You're Meiling Li, @Syaoran Li 's cousin!


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## Somar (Mar 10, 2019)

Tetraphobia said:


> I wanted a formal invite


Well we tried to send you one, but you already left before we could give it to you.


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## Tetra (Mar 10, 2019)

On the day of his daughter's @Somari1996 birthday, @Tard Baby  is trying to get to his estranged ex-wife's @ICameToplaY  house to see his daughter. He has a breakdown and leaves his car in a traffic jam in TSIC and decides to walk. Along the way he stops at a convenience store and tries to get some change for a phone call but the owner, @Kiwi Jeff , does not give him change. This destabilizes @Tard Baby who then breaks apart the shop with a baseball bat and goes to an isolated place to drink a coke. The gangsters @LofaSofa  & @Dirt McGirt  threaten him and he reacts by hitting them with the bat. @Tard Baby  continues walking and stops at a phone booth. The gangsters hunt him down with their gang and shoot at him but crash their car. @Tard Baby goes nuts and takes their gym bag with weapons proceeding in his journey of rage against injustice. Meanwhile Sergeant  @Reynard , who is working on his last day before retirement, is following the wave of crimes and believes that the same man is responsible but the other detectives do not pay attention to him.


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## Remove Goat (Mar 10, 2019)

Best friends @Tard Baby and @Army Burger set out for a weekend vacation at a fishing cabin in the mountains to take a break from their dreary lives in Arkansas. Tard, a ditzy housewife, is married to a disrespectful and controlling man, @Ron /pol/ , while sharp-tongued Army works as a waitress in a diner and is on–off dating a musician, @gobbogobb  , who spends most of his time on the road.

On the way, they stop for a drink at a roadhouse bar, where Tard meets and dances with a flirtatious stranger, @Dynastia . When he takes her outside to the parking lot to get some fresh air, he starts kissing her and taking her clothes off without her consent. Tard resists, but Dynastia hits her, and then attempts to rape her. Army finds them and threatens to shoot Dynastia with the gun that Tard brought with her. Dynastia stops, but, as the women walk away, he yells that he should have continued the rape and continually insults them. Enraged, Army shoots him dead, and the pair flee the scene.

At a motel, they discuss how to handle the situation. @Tard Baby  wants to go to the police, but @Army Burger  fears that no one will believe Tard's claim of attempted rape and they will be subsequently charged for murder. They decide to go on the run, but Army insists that they travel from Oklahoma to Mexico without going through Texas. Something happened to Army in Texas several years earlier, and Tard suspects it was something similar to what had happened with @Dynastia but Army vehemently says she will not talk about it. Heading west, the women come across an attractive young drifter, @yawning sneasel , who Tard quickly falls for, and Tard convinces Army to let him hitch a ride with them. @Army Burger contacts @gobbogobb and asks him to wire transfer her life savings to her. When she goes to pick up the money, she finds that gobbogob has come to deliver the money in person, and the two spend the night together. Gobbogobb proposes to Army, but she refuses. Meanwhile, Tard invites Y.S. to her room, and they sleep together. She then learns he is a thief who has broken parole.

The following morning, Tard leaves Y.S. in her motel room to meet Army downstairs for breakfast, and, when they return, they discover Y.S. has stolen Army's life savings and fled. Army is distraught, so a guilty Tard takes charge and later robs a nearby convenience store using tactics she learned from listening to Y.S. Meanwhile, the FBI is getting closer to catching the fugitives after witnesses at the bar saw Army's 1966 Ford Thunderbird convertible speeding out of the parking lot the night of the shooting. Their whereabouts are also questioned by the owner of the fishing cabin after the women failed to arrive for the weekend. Arkansas State Police Investigator @Null , leading the investigation, questions both Y.S., who was caught, and gobbogob and taps into the phone line at @Ron /pol/ 's house. He discovers that Army had been raped years earlier in Texas, so he sympathizes with her situation and understands why they didn't report @Dynastia 's murder to the authorities. During a couple of brief phone conversations with Army, he expresses his sympathy but is unsuccessful in his attempts to persuade her to surrender.

@Tard Baby tells @Army Burger  she understands if she wants to go back home, knowing she has @gobbogobb waiting for her, but explains she cannot go back to @Ron /pol/ . Army promises they will keep going together. The pair are later pulled over by a New Mexico state trooper for speeding. Knowing he will soon discover they are wanted for murder and armed robbery, Tard holds him at gunpoint and locks him in the trunk of his police car, while Army takes his gun and ammunition. They drive away from the scene and spend the next few nights heading further west. On the road, they encounter a foul-mouthed truck driver who repeatedly makes obscene gestures at them. They pull over and demand an apology from him; when he refuses, they fire at the fuel tanker he is driving, causing it to explode.

Tard and Army are finally cornered by the authorities only one hundred yards from the edge of the Grand Canyon. @Null arrives on the scene, but he is refused the chance to make one last attempt to talk the women into surrendering. Rather than be captured and spend the rest of their lives in jail, Tard proposes that they "keep going". Army asks Tard if she is certain, and @Tard Baby  says yes. They kiss, @Army Burger  steps on the gas, and they accelerate over the cliff.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 10, 2019)

Remove Goat said:


> Best friends @Tard Baby and @Army Burger set out for a weekend vacation at a fishing cabin in the mountains to take a break from their dreary lives in Arkansas. Tard, a ditzy housewife, is married to a disrespectful and controlling man, @Ron /pol/ , while sharp-tongued Army works as a waitress in a diner and is on–off dating a musician, @gobbogobb  , who spends most of his time on the road.
> 
> On the way, they stop for a drink at a roadhouse bar, where Tard meets and dances with a flirtatious stranger, @Dynastia . When he takes her outside to the parking lot to get some fresh air, he starts kissing her and taking her clothes off without her consent. Tard resists, but Dynastia hits her, and then attempts to rape her. Army finds them and threatens to shoot Dynastia with the gun that Tard brought with her. Dynastia stops, but, as the women walk away, he yells that he should have continued the rape and continually insults them. Enraged, Army shoots him dead, and the pair flee the scene.
> 
> ...


Lol, the bulldyke movie.


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## Rand /pol/ (Mar 10, 2019)

Remove Goat said:


> Best friends @Tard Baby and @Army Burger set out for a weekend vacation at a fishing cabin in the mountains to take a break from their dreary lives in Arkansas. Tard, a ditzy housewife, is married to a disrespectful and controlling man, @Ron /pol/ , while sharp-tongued Army works as a waitress in a diner and is on–off dating a musician, @gobbogobb  , who spends most of his time on the road.
> 
> On the way, they stop for a drink at a roadhouse bar, where Tard meets and dances with a flirtatious stranger, @Dynastia . When he takes her outside to the parking lot to get some fresh air, he starts kissing her and taking her clothes off without her consent. Tard resists, but Dynastia hits her, and then attempts to rape her. Army finds them and threatens to shoot Dynastia with the gun that Tard brought with her. Dynastia stops, but, as the women walk away, he yells that he should have continued the rape and continually insults them. Enraged, Army shoots him dead, and the pair flee the scene.
> 
> ...


based


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## Somar (Mar 10, 2019)

In 1973, 10-year-old @Kiwi Jeff practices basketball late into the night, and tells his father about his ambitions to go to the University of North Carolina, play on a championship team, and join the NBA. Over the next twenty years, @Kiwi Jeff excels in high school, college, Olympic (twice), and professional basketball, and goes on to become one of the greatest NBA players of all time. In 1993, @Kiwi Jeff announces his retirement from professional basketball to follow his late father's career in baseball. Facing much less success, he is assigned a publicist/assitant, the bumbling @Tard Baby, to smooth the transition.

Elsewhere in outer space, the intergalactic amusement park Moron Mountain is in decline; its owner Mr. @Dirt McGirt sends his diminutive minions, the A-logs, to capture the Weebs as new entertainment. They divebomb to the center of the earth, where the Weebs' reality is hidden. Despite having powerful laser guns, the A-logs are tricked into thinking that their prisoners have a chance to defend themselves; @Tetraphobia states that the challenge to decide their fates will be basketball (as the A-logs are too small to play). But @Tetraphobia make the mistake of showing an educational film about it that states "the best in the world" play. The A-logs steal the talents of @LofaSofa, @dysentery, @ToroidalBoat, @chekovia and @Sammy. The sudden incapacity of the five NBA players leads to worldwide panic that results in the NBA season ending early. The five players try fruitlessly to restore their skills, through practice, hospitalization, therapy, prayer, to no avail. To intimidate the Weebs, the A-logs absorb the talent in front of them, transforming into forms twice as large as them with dark basketball uniforms. @Dink Smallwood dubs them "Log-Stars" - monster stars. @Tetraphobia realizes that they're going to need professional help.

While golfing with @A Cold Potato, @Reynard and @Tard Baby, @Kiwi Jeff is sucked down a hole by @cumrobbery's lasso and into Weebs' land. Everyone is happy to meet him, despite @Kiwi Jeff dismissing it as a dream. @Tetraphobia uses his usual kawaii to make @Kiwi Jeff realize he's awake; he then explains the Weebs' dire situation to him. @Kiwi Jeff agrees to train them, as he no longer plays basketball. However, right before he can start teaching them, the Log-Stars break into the gym to intimidate the Weebs further; when @Kiwi Jeff attempts to stand up to them, the Log-Stars use their talent and anime physics to turn @Kiwi Jeff into a ball and humiliate him. Deciding to play against the Log-Stars personally, @Kiwi Jeff sends @Tetraphobia and @atm to retrieve his basketball gear from home. @Tard Baby spots @Tetraphobia and @atm and pursues them to the Weebs' world, reuniting with @Kiwi Jeff and joining their team, the Weeb Squad. Another new recruit is @ICameToplaY, a skilled player with whom @Tetraphobia is instantly smitten.

On the day of the match, the Log-Stars dominate the first half, sinking the Weebs’ morale. @Tard Baby overhears the Log-Stars tell @Dirt McGirt how they gained their talent, and informs the Weeb Squad. @Tetraphobia and @Kiwi Jeff rally the team and power through the third quarter with anime cliches and Shonen weaponry. During a timeout, @Kiwi Jeff raises the stakes with @Dirt McGirt: a win by the Weeb Squad would require the Log-Stars return their stolen talents, while a win by the Log-Stars would earn them @Kiwi Jeff as a new attraction. To ensure victory, @Dirt McGirt orders the Log-Stars to play rough, injuring the Weeb Squad until only @Kiwi Jeff, @Tetraphobia, @atm, @ICameToplaY and @Tard Baby remain. @Tard Baby manages to score but is literally flattened by the Log-Stars and removed from the court. However, the referee, @Un Platano, informs @Kiwi Jeff that without a fifth player, the Weeb Squad will have to forfeit. @A Cold Potato arrives and volunteers, much to @atm's confusion; @A Cold Potato explains that he asked his agent to get him there. In the final seconds of the game, @Kiwi Jeff gains the ball, but is grabbed by the Log-Stars during a jump to the basket. Remembering @Tetraphobia told him that anime physics apply to him, he extends his arm and scores the winning points.

Seeing the Log-Stars get yelled at by @Dirt McGirt, @Kiwi Jeff helps them realize they only listened to him because they were smaller. With the Weebs watching with satisfactory smiles, @Dirt McGirt is encased in a rocket by the Log-Stars and sent back to his amusement park. Giving up their stolen talent, the reformed A-logs are recruited into the Weebs ensemble, and drop off @Kiwi Jeff and a recovered @Tard Baby at @Kiwi Jeff's next baseball game. @Kiwi Jeff and @Tard Baby visit the incapacitated basketball players and return their talent. The players provoke a reluctant @Kiwi Jeff into a three-on-three match. The film ends with @Kiwi Jeff's 1995 return to the Chicago Bulls to resume his basketball career


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 10, 2019)

Two years since the peace established in the aftermath of the Fourth Kiwi Civi War, the Sixth Moderator @Alan Pardew drew notices that the moon is nearing Earth and will soon collide with it. The crisis is caused by @Feline Darkmage, a descendant of the Sage of Six Sage’s twin brother @trombonista, who is determined to fulfill @Meowthkip's  promise to judge humanity for their millennium-long perversion of the Sage's teachings into lurkjutsu. During the Halal Festival, @Somari1996 knits a red scarf similar to the one @Syaoran Li wore when they first met with @tomoyo offering her assistance. @Somari1996 becomes doubtful as @Syaoran Li receives a variety of gifts from others, including another scarf. @Feline Darkmage infiltrates the Kiwifarms to abduct @Somari1996, but @Syaoran Li ’s intervention forces her to instead kidnap her younger sister @Tetraphobia.

@Syaoran Li, @Somari1996, @tomoyo, @ICameToplaY and @Kiwi Jeff are assigned by @Alan Pardew to rescue @Tetraphobia. In an abandoned village of the Li Clan, @Syaoran Li understands the concept of romantic love from seeing @Somari1996's memories while being caught in an illusion and spending more time with her. The Hyuga Clan revealed to be descended from @trombonista's kin who remained on Earth, @Feline Darkmage had transplanted @Tetraphobia's ears into himself so he can acquire the deafness created from his ancestors' sealed ears while proposing to @Somari1996. @Somari1996 accepts the offer to save @Tetraphobia, breaking @Syaoran Li's heart in the process as she leaves with @Feline Darkmage. The villagers on Earth defend themselves, intercepting the moon's meteorites and evacuating civilians while @Reynard returns to aid in protecting his home.

After recovering for three days, @tomoyo reassures @Syaoran Li that @Somari1996 loves him and the group approaches @Feline Darkmage's castle. @trombonista's spirit contacted @Somari1996, asking for her help as the Clow Card Princess as @Feline Darkmage has misinterpreted his decree. @Feline Darkmage refuses to listen to @Somari1996, ruins the scarf and brainwashes her. Invading @Feline Darkmage's castle, @tomoyo and @ICameToplaY secure @Tetraphobia while @Kiwi Jeff holds off @Feline Darkmage's puppets. @Syaoran Li saves @Somari1996 and her attempt to stop @Feline Darkmage for gaining the Tenseigan. But @Feline Darkmage acquires it and slices the moon in half as @Syaoran Li engages him in combat and overpowers the Otsutsuki with @Somari1996's help, causing the moon to return to its orbit due to mixing their _chakra_. After @Somari1996 takes back @Tetraphobia's ears, @Feline Darkmage realizes the truth about @trombonista's decree and decides to remain on the moon to atone for his sins. After @Syaoran Li tells @Somari1996 that the scarf he wore earlier belonged to his late mother, they declare their love for each other and return home.

During the final credits, @Syaoran Li and @Somari1996 marry in front of their friends. The post-credits scene before the epilogue depicts them starting a family with their two children: @Tard Baby and @FatFuckFrank.


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## Trombonista (Mar 10, 2019)

ICameToplaY said:


> twin brother @trombonista,


Umm... how is that possible?


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 10, 2019)

trombonista said:


> Umm... how is that possible?



It just works!


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 10, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> In 1973, 10-year-old @Kiwi Jeff practices basketball late into the night, and tells his father about his ambitions to go to the University of North Carolina, play on a championship team, and join the NBA. Over the next twenty years, @Kiwi Jeff excels in high school, college, Olympic (twice), and professional basketball, and goes on to become one of the greatest NBA players of all time. In 1993, @Kiwi Jeff announces his retirement from professional basketball to follow his late father's career in baseball. Facing much less success, he is assigned a publicist/assitant, the bumbling @Tard Baby, to smooth the transition.
> 
> Elsewhere in outer space, the intergalactic amusement park Moron Mountain is in decline; its owner Mr. @Dirt McGirt sends his diminutive minions, the A-logs, to capture the Weebs as new entertainment. They divebomb to the center of the earth, where the Weebs' reality is hidden. Despite having powerful laser guns, the A-logs are tricked into thinking that their prisoners have a chance to defend themselves; @Tetraphobia states that the challenge to decide their fates will be basketball (as the A-logs are too small to play). But @Tetraphobia make the mistake of showing an educational film about it that states "the best in the world" play. The A-logs steal the talents of @LofaSofa, @dysentery, @ToroidalBoat, @chekovia and @Sammy. The sudden incapacity of the five NBA players leads to worldwide panic that results in the NBA season ending early. The five players try fruitlessly to restore their skills, through practice, hospitalization, therapy, prayer, to no avail. To intimidate the Weebs, the A-logs absorb the talent in front of them, transforming into forms twice as large as them with dark basketball uniforms. @Dink Smallwood dubs them "Log-Stars" - monster stars. @Tetraphobia realizes that they're going to need professional help.
> 
> ...


WAT movie


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## Kiwi Jeff (Mar 10, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> WAT movie


Shut Up and Jam Gaiden: Episode 0


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## Somar (Mar 10, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> WAT movie


90s Air Jordon Mcdonalds commercial.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 10, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> 90s Air Jordon Mcdonalds commercial.


I like McDonald's.


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 10, 2019)

In 1973, 10-year-old @vertexwindi  practices basketball late into the night, and tells his father about his ambitions to go to the University of North Carolina, play on a championship team, and join the NBA. Over the next twenty years, @vertexwindi excels in high school, college, Olympic (twice), and professional basketball, and goes on to become one of the greatest NBA players of all time. In 1993, @vertexwindi announces his retirement from professional basketball to follow his late father's career in baseball. Facing much less success, he is assigned a publicist/assistant, the bumbling @Alan Pardew, to smooth the transition.

Elsewhere in outer space, the intergalactic amusement park Moron Mountain is in decline; its owner @FuckYou sends his diminutive minions, the Nerdlucks, to capture the Looney Tunes as new entertainment. They divebomb to the center of the earth, where the Looney Tunes' reality is hidden. Despite having powerful laser guns, the Nerdlucks are tricked into thinking that their prisoners have a chance to defend themselves; @Looney Troons  states that the challenge to decide their fates will be basketball (as the Nerdlucks are too small to play). But @Looney Troons make the mistake of showing an educational film about it that states "the best in the world" play. The Nerdlucks steal the talents of @Super Collie, @Jeb-sama, @ObeseScreamingBlackMan, @LofaSofa, and @UnKillFill. The sudden incapacity of the five NBA players leads to worldwide panic that results in the NBA season ending early. The five players try fruitlessly to restore their skills, through practice, hospitalization, therapy, prayer, to no avail. To intimidate the Looney Tunes, the Nerdlucks absorb the talent in front of them, transforming into froms twice as large as them with dark basketball uniforms. @NARPASSWORD dubs them "Monstars" - monster stars. @Looney Troons realizes that they're going to need professional help.

While golfing with @Kiwi Jeff, @PsychoNerd054 and @Alan Pardew, @vertexwindi is sucked down a hole by @Steamboat_Bill's lasso and into Looney Tunes' land. Everyone is happy to meet him, despite @vertexwindi dismissing it as a dream. @Looney Troons uses his usual comedy to make @vertexwindi realize he's awake; he then explains the Tunes' dire situation to him. @vertexwindi  agrees to train them, as he no longer plays basketball. However, right before he can start teaching them, the Monstars break into the gym to intimidate the Tunes further; when @vertexwindi attempts to stand up to them, the Monstars use their talent and cartoon physics to turn @vertexwindi into a ball and humiliate him. Deciding to play against the Monstars personally, @vertexwindi sends @Looney Troons and @Jaiman to retrieve his basketball gear from home. @Alan Pardew spots @Looney Troons and @Jaiman and pursues them to the Tunes' world, reuniting with @vertexwindi and joining their team, the Tune Squad. Another new recruit is @Reynard, a skilled player with whom @Looney Troons is instantly smitten.

On the day of the match, the Monstars dominate the first half, sinking the Looney Tunes’ morale. @Alan Pardew overhears the Monstars tell @FuckYou how they gained their talent, and informs the Tune Squad. @Looney Troons and @vertexwindi rally the team and power through the third quarter with old school gags and Acme weaponry. During a timeout, @vertexwindi raises the stakes with @FuckYou: a win by the Tune Squad would require the Monstars return their stolen talents, while a win by the Monstars would earn them @vertexwindi as a new attraction. To ensure victory, @FuckYou orders the Monstars to play rough, injuring the Tune Squad until only @vertexwindi, @Looney Troons, @Jaiman, @Reynard and @Alan Pardew remain. @Alan Pardew manages to score but is literally flattened by the Monstars and removed from the court. However, the referee, @AnOminous, informs @vertexwindi that without a fifth player, the Tune Squad will have to forfeit. @Kiwi Jeff arrives and volunteers, much to @Jaiman's confusion; @Kiwi Jeff explains that he asked his agent to get him there. In the final seconds of the game, @vertexwindi gains the ball, but is grabbed by the Monstars during a jump to the basket. Remembering @Looney Troons told him that cartoon physics apply to him, he extends his arm and scores the winning points.

Seeing the Monstars get yelled at by @FuckYou, @vertexwindi helps them realize they only listened to him because they were smaller. With the Tunes watching with satisfactory smiles, @FuckYou is encased in a rocket by the Monstars and sent back to his amusement park. Giving up their stolen talent, the reformed Nerdlucks are recruited into the Looney Tunes ensemble, and drop off @vertexwindi and a recovered @Alan Pardew at @vertexwindi's next baseball game. @vertexwindi and @Alan Pardew visit the incapacitated basketball players and return their talent. The players provoke a reluctant @vertexwindi into a three-on-three match. The film ends with @vertexwindi's 1995 return to the Chicago Bulls to resume his basketball career.


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## Feline Darkmage (Mar 11, 2019)

@ICametoLurk which Naruto film was that?


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 11, 2019)

Feline Darkmage said:


> @ICametoLurk which Naruto film was that?


That's my Onii-chan!

The Last: Naruto the Movie.


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 11, 2019)

A feast is held in TSIC in honor of King @Alan Pardew ’s royal visit. @Tetraphobia decides he is thankful his bastardy has relegated him to the far end of the hall with the younger squires instead of the king's family. Here he can drink as much as he wants (he has a man’s thirst) and mingle freely with those around him.

@Tetraphobia watches the king and his family as they arrive. He recognizes Queen @trombonista ’s false smile and is disappointed with fat, red-faced King @Alan Pardew. The 8-year-old Princess @Vrakks seems smitten with her escort @atm, leading @Tetraphobia to decide she is insipid. @cumrobbery is escorted by plump, young Princess @ICameToplaY. The 12-year-old Crown Prince @ICametoLurk (who is even taller than @atm) is escorting the radiant @Pina Colada. @Tetraphobia decides he does not like @ICametoLurk ’s pouty lips or the disdain the prince seems to hold for TSIC. He also notes that the queen's brother @Meowthkip looks like a proper king, and that @Feline Darkmage is grotesquely fascinating, as ugly as @Meowthkip and @trombonista are beautiful. The last to enter are @LofaSofa and @chekovia.

@Tetraphobia feeds his direwolf Ghost under the table and watches the pup silently face down a full-grown dog three times his size. Bringing his wolf to the feast is another perk to being the bastard. @Tetraphobia is soon joined by his uncle @LofaSofa, who asks @Tetraphobia how much he's had to drink, adding that @Tetraphobia is older than he was when he first got truly drunk. @LofaSofa asks about Ghost and @Tetraphobia explains that he named him Ghost for his white color and because he never makes a sound. @LofaSofa then asks why @Tetraphobia is not at the main table and @Tetraphobia says flatly that Lady @Somari1996 thought seating a bastard with the king might give offense.

@LofaSofa comments that @Syaoran Li does not seem festive and @Tetraphobia adds that neither does the queen, probably because of King @Alan Pardew ’s visit to the crypts. @LofaSofa commends @Tetraphobia's keen observation and remarks that he could use a man like him on the Wall. @Tetraphobia asks if he can return to the Wall with @LofaSofa. @LofaSofa replies that the Wall is a hard place for a boy, but @Tetraphobia counters that he will turn 15 on his next name day and it's said bastards grow up faster than purebloods. @Tetraphobia thinks about how all his half brothers and sisters have futures, but there is no future for a bastard. @LofaSofa says that he should know a woman and father a bastard or two first, to know what he will be giving up. This angers @Tetraphobia, who states that he will never father a bastard and runs off with Ghost at his heels before anyone can see him cry.

As @Tetraphobia is leaving, @Feline Darkmage speaks to him from a ledge in the deserted yard and asks if he can take a look at Ghost. @Tetraphobia offers to help him down, but @Feline Darkmage jumps down, acrobatically landing on his hands and vaulting to his feet. Ghost is uncertain about @Feline Darkmage, but submits to examination at @Tetraphobia's command. @Feline Darkmage asks if @Tetraphobia is @Syaoran Li’s bastard. @Tetraphobia bridles and @Feline Darkmage apologizes that as a dwarf he can usually speak as he pleases, like a jester. He comments that @Tetraphobia seems to have more of the North in him than his half-siblings. @Feline Darkmage advises @Tetraphobia never to forget who and what he is so that no one can use it against him. When @Tetraphobia questions what @Feline Darkmage would know about being a bastard, @Feline Darkmage replies that all futas are bastards in their father’s eyes and that, although all futas are bastards, not all bastards need to be futas.


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## Somar (Mar 11, 2019)

@Somari1996, who has inherited the defense contractor Kinomoto Industries from his father, is in war-torn Afghanistan with his friend and military liaison Lieutenant Colonel @Syaoran Li to demonstrate the new "Jericho" missile. After the demonstration, the convoy is ambushed and @Somari1996 is critically wounded by a rocket-propelled grenade used by the attackers: one of his company's own. He is captured and imprisoned in a cave by a terrorist group, the Ten Rings; @jandek, a fellow captive who is a doctor, implants an electromagnet into @Somari1996's chest to keep the shrapnel shards that wounded him from reaching his heart and killing him. Ten Rings leader @Ron /pol/ offers @Somari1996 freedom in exchange for building a Jericho missile for the group, but @Somari1996 and @jandek know that @Ron /pol/ will not keep his word.

@Somari1996 and @jandek secretly build a small, powerful electric generator called an arc reactor to power @Somari1996's electromagnet and a prototypical suit of powered armor to aid in their escape. Although they keep the suit hidden almost to completion, the Ten Rings discover their hostages' intentions and attack the workshop. @jandek sacrifices himself to divert them while the suit is completed. The armored @Somari1996 battles his way out of the cave to find the dying @jandek, then burns the Ten Rings' weapons in anger and flies away, crashing in the desert and destroying the suit. After being rescued by @Syaoran Li, @Somari1996 returns home and announces that his company will no longer manufacture weapons. @Somari, his father's old partner and the company's manager, advises @Somari1996 that this may ruin Industries and his father's legacy. In his home workshop, @Somari1996 builds a sleeker, more powerful version of his improvised armor suit as well as a more powerful arc reactor for his chest. Personal assistant @tomoyo places the original reactor inside a small glass showcase. Though @Somari requests details, a suspicious @Somari1996 keeps his work to himself.

At a charity event held by Kinomoto Industries, reporter @ICameToplaY informs @Somari1996 that his company's weapons were recently delivered to the Ten Rings and are being used to attack @jandek's home village, Gulmira. @Somari1996 then learns that @Somari has been arms trafficking to criminals worldwide and is staging a coup to replace him as Kinomoto Industries' CEO. @Somari1996 dons his new armor and flies to Afghanistan, where he saves the villagers. While flying home, @Somari1996 is shot at by two F-22 Raptor fighter jets. He reveals his secret identity to @Syaoran Li over the phone in an attempt to end the attack. Meanwhile, the Ten Rings gather the pieces of @Somari1996's prototype suit and meet with @Somari, who subdues @Ron /pol/ and has the rest of the group killed. @Somari has a massive new suit reverse engineered from the wreckage. Seeking to track his company's illegal shipments, @Somari1996 sends @tomoyo to hack into its database. She discovers that @Somari hired the Ten Rings to kill @Somari1996, but the group reneged. @tomoyo meets with Agent @Dynastia of @D.E.S.E.R.T., an intelligence agency, to inform him of @Somari's activities.

@Somari's scientists cannot duplicate @Somari1996's miniaturized arc reactor, so @Somari ambushes @Somari1996 at his home and takes the one from his chest. @Somari1996 manages to get to his original reactor to replace it. @tomoyo and several @D.E.S.E.R.T. agents attempt to arrest @Somari, but he dons his suit and attacks them. @Somari1996 fights @Somari, but is outmatched without his new reactor to run his suit at full capacity. The fight carries @Somari1996 and @Somari to the top of the Kinomoto Industries building, and @Somari1996 instructs @tomoyo to overload the large arc reactor powering the building. This unleashes a massive electrical surge that causes @Somari and his armor to fall into the exploding reactor, killing him. The next day, at a press conference, @Somari1996 defies suggestions from @D.E.S.E.R.T. and publicly admits to being "Iron Man."

In a post-credits scene, @D.E.S.E.R.T. Director @Alan Pardew visits @Somari1996 at home, telling him that Iron Man is not "the only superhero in the world", and explaining that he wants to discuss the "Vroomer Initiative"


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## Tetra (Mar 11, 2019)

ICameToplaY said:


> (he has a man’s thirst)



True



ICameToplaY said:


> @Tetraphobia feeds his direwolf



I love my direwolf


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## The Cunting Death (Mar 11, 2019)

> An @empsex in trouble...



that's literally the synopsis


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 11, 2019)

Narrated by himself throughout the film, @Count groudon is the selfish and egotistical emperor of the Inca kingdom who routinely punishes anyone who disappoints him or "throws off his groove". @Count groudon meets up with @AnOminous, a kind peasant and village leader, and tells him that he plans to demolish @AnOminous hilltop family home to build himself a lavish summer resort called "Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens", leaving @AnOminous despondent. When @Count groudon later fires his conniving adviser @CatParty, she, along with her dim-witted henchman @bearycool, plots to take the throne. The pair attempt to poison the emperor at dinner, but due to a mix up with the labels on @CatParty's vials, they inadvertently give him a potion that transforms him into a llama. When the two knock @Count groudon unconscious and stuff him in a sack, @CatParty orders @bearycool to dispose of him. @bearycool at the last moment changes his mind and saves him, but misplaces the sack on a cart belonging to @AnOminous.

@AnOminous returns home, unaware of the unconscious llama on his cart. When he wakes, @Count groudon blames @AnOminous for his transformation and orders him to return him to the capital. @AnOminous offers to do so only if @Count groudon changes his mind about Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, to which @Count groudon at first refuses. However, after running afoul of the local wildlife, he accepts @AnOminous's offer, secretly planning to go back on his word once he is safe. The two survive many ordeals in the jungle, and @AnOminous finds @Count groudon has a kinder side to him underneath his ego, and believes he will remain true to his word. Meanwhile, @CatParty has taken the throne, but soon learns that @bearycool failed to kill @Count groudon. The two set out to find @Count groudon.

Both pairs arrive at a jungle diner at the same time (despite a sign saying "No Llamas Allowed"). @AnOminous overhears @CatParty's plan to kill him, and tries to warn @Count groudon, but @Count groudon does not believe him, and announces that he still plans to destroy @AnOminous' village, leading to a falling out between the two. However, @Count groudon soon overhears more of @CatParty and @bearycool's scheming. Realizing no one in his kingdom misses him because of his selfishness, @Count groudon leaves the diner on his own, planning on living out his days as a llama. @AnOminous catches up, still willing to help @Count groudon return to normal. @Count groudon apologizes for his selfishness and they set off for @AnOminous' house to resupply.

When they arrive, @CatParty is already there. @AnOminous has his family stall @CatParty, giving him and @Count groudon a head start back to the capital. They head to @CatParty's laboratory and find numerous transformation potions, including the antidote, but @CatParty and @bearycool have somehow arrived first. @CatParty orders @bearycool to kill the pair, but @bearycool cannot bring himself to do so, and ends up switching sides. After dropping him down a trap door, @CatParty orders her guards to capture the pair under the pretense that they killed the emperor. @AnOminous grabs a handful of vials, while he and @Count groudon flee, trying the various vials during their flight to find the right one. As they are cornered on the ledges of a giant wall structure, they find they are down to two vials. During a scuffle, @CatParty falls onto one of the vials and is transformed into a "helpless" cat. After some hi-jinx, @Count groudon and @AnOminous recover the other vial to which @Count groudon drinks it.

Now human again and a more selfless ruler, @Count groudon takes @AnOminous' suggestion of moving Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens over to a neighbouring, unoccupied hill next to @AnOminous' village. Some time later, @Count groudon joins @AnOminous and his family at his modest resort, sharing his swimming pool with them, while elsewhere @bearycool has become a scout leader and trains a new batch of scouts, including the reluctant @CatParty, who remains a kitten.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 13, 2019)

In 1985 Hill Valley, California, teenager @FierceBrosnan and his girlfriend, @ATaxingWoman, are chastised by the school principal for lateness. @FierceBrosnan auditions for the Battle of the Bands, but is rejected for being too loud. At home, Marty's father @J A N D E K  is bullied by his supervisor, @Sword Fighter Super , while his mother @ICameToplaY is an overweight, depressed alcoholic. @ICameToplaY  recalls how she met @J A N D E K  when her father hit him with his car.
@FierceBrosnan  is invited by his friend, eccentric inventor @Trilby  , to meet him in a parking lot in the early hours. @Trilby   unveils a time machine built from a modified DeLorean and powered by plutonium stolen from terrorists. Preparing to demonstrate the time machine, @Trilby sets the date to November 5, 1955: the day he conceived a time travel device. The terrorists arrive and shoot @Trilby. @FierceBrosnan escapes in the DeLorean, but inadvertently activates the time machine.
@FierceBrosnan finds himself in 1955 without enough plutonium to return. He encounters the teenaged @J A N D E K , who is bullied by his classmate @Sword Fighter Super. After @FierceBrosnan saves @J A N D E K  from an oncoming car, he is knocked unconscious and awakens to find himself tended to by @ICameToplaY, who is infatuated with him.
@FierceBrosnan tracks down @Trilby's younger self for help. With no plutonium, @Trilby  explains that the only power source capable of generating the necessary 1.21 gigawatts (1,620,000 hp) of electricity for the time machine is a bolt of lightning. @FierceBrosnan shows @Trilby a flyer from the future that recounts a lightning strike at the town's courthouse due the coming Saturday night. @Trilby instructs @FierceBrosnan to not leave his house or interact with anyone, as he could inadvertently alter the future; because of this, @Trilby refuses to heed warnings from @FierceBrosnan about his death in 1985. When they realize that he has prevented his parents from meeting, @Trilby  warns @FierceBrosnan  that he must find a way to introduce @J A N D E K to @ICameToplaY  or he will be erased from existence. @Trilby formulates a plan to harness the power of the lightning, while @FierceBrosnan  sets about introducing his parents, but he antagonizes @Sword Fighter Super and his gang in the process.
After @ICameToplaY  asks @FierceBrosnan to the school dance, @FierceBrosnan concocts a plan: he will feign inappropriate advances on @ICameToplaY, allowing @J A N D E K  to "rescue" her. The plan goes awry when a drunken @Sword Fighter Super  attempts to force himself on @ICameToplaY. @J A N D E K , enraged, knocks out @Sword Fighter Super, and @ICameToplaY  accompanies him to the dance floor, where they kiss while @FierceBrosnan performs with the band.
As the storm arrives, @FierceBrosnan returns to the clock tower and the lightning strikes, sending @FierceBrosnan back to 1985. @Trilby has survived the shooting, as he had listened to @FierceBrosnan's warnings and worn a bullet-proof vest. @Trilby takes @FierceBrosnan home and departs to the future. @FierceBrosnan awakens the next morning to find that @J A N D E K  is a successful author, @ICameToplaY  is fit and happy, and @Sword Fighter Super is now an obsequious auto valet. As @FierceBrosnan reunites with @ATaxingWoman, the DeLorean appears with @Trilby, insisting they accompany him to 2015 to resolve a problem with their future children. The trio board the DeLorean, which has been upgraded with hover technology, and warp to the future.

2.

@Tard Baby  and @Ron /pol/, two kindly but dimwitted men, are best friends and roommates living in Providence, Rhode Island. @Tard Baby, a chip-toothed limousine driver, immediately falls in love when he meets @Cosmos, a woman he is driving to the airport. She leaves a briefcase in the terminal. @Tard Baby, unaware that it contains ransom money for her kidnapped husband, @dysentery, and that she was supposed to leave it there for the kidnappers to pick up, retrieves the briefcase and tries to return it to her before the kidnappers can get it. However, Mary's Aspen-bound plane has already departed, which @Tard Baby finds out the hard way as he runs through and falls out of the jetway.
Fired from his job, @Tard Baby returns to his apartment and learns that @Ron /pol/  has also been fired from his dog-grooming job after delivering dogs late to a show and accidentally getting them dirty. @dysentery's kidnappers, @AnOminous and @Reynard, follow @Tard Baby home from the airport in pursuit of the briefcase. Mistaking the crooks for debt collectors, the duo flee the apartment and return later to find that @AnOminous  has decapitated @Ron /pol/ s parakeet. @Tard Baby suggests they head to Aspen to find @Cosmos and return the briefcase, hoping she can "plug them into the social pipeline." Initially, @Ron /pol/  opposes the idea, but he eventually agrees and the duo leaves the next day.
@AnOminous and @Reynard catch up to the duo at a motel that night. Posing as a hitchhiker, @AnOminous  is picked up by @Tard Baby  and @Ron /pol/  while @Reynard  secretly follows them. During a lunch stop, the duo prank @AnOminous with chili peppers in his burger, not knowing of his ulcer. When @AnOminous  reacts adversely, they accidentally kill him with some rat poison pills (which @AnOminous  had planned to use on them), mistaking them for his medication. Nearing Colorado, @Tard Baby takes a wrong turn and ends up driving all night through Nebraska, while the police waiting on the road to Colorado expect them to show up after finding out about @AnOminous's death. Upon waking up and realizing @Tard Baby's mishap, @Ron /pol/  gives up on the journey and decides to walk home, but @Tard Baby later persuades him to continue after trading the van for a minibike.
The two arrive in Aspen, but are unable to locate @Cosmos in the yellow pages, as @Tard Baby recalls her surname incorrectly. After a short scuffle over some gloves that night, the briefcase breaks open and they discover the money; they spend it for a hotel suite, clothes and a Lamborghini Diablo. They learn that @Cosmos and her family are hosting a gala and prepare to attend. At the gala, @Ron /pol/ , attempting to lure @Cosmos over to @Tard Baby, reluctantly agrees to go skiing with her the next day and lies to @Tard Baby that he got him a date. The next day,  @Tard Baby  finds out @Ron /pol/  lied to him after waiting all day for @Cosmos at the hotel bar.
In retaliation, @Tard Baby  pranks @Ron /pol/  by serving him a coffee laced with laxative, causing @Ron /pol/  to spontaneously defecate in a broken toilet at @Cosmo's house. @Tard Baby  arrives at @Cosmo's house and informs her that he has her briefcase; he takes her to the hotel, shows her the briefcase, and confesses his love after some initial struggle, but she unsurprisingly rejects him because she is already married. Suddenly, @Kiwi Jeff, an old friend of the @Cosmo's and the mastermind behind @dysentery's kidnapping, arrives with @Reynard and, upon learning that @Tard Baby and @Ron /pol/  had spent all of the ransom money and replaced it with IOUs, takes @Tard Baby  and @Cosmos hostage, as well as @Ron /pol/  when he returns. An argument between @Ron /pol/ and  @Tard Baby leads @Kiwi Jeff to shoot @Ron /pol/ . Before @Kiwi Jeff can kill them, an FBI team led by @Dink Smallwood , whom @Ron /pol/  met earlier at a gas station, raids the suite and arrests him and @Reynard. @Ron /pol/  is revealed to be alive thanks to a bulletproof vest that was strapped on him earlier, and @Cosmos and @dysentery are reunited. @Tard Baby, envious that he cannot be with @Cosmos  because she is married, fantasizes about shooting @dysentery dead, but grows friendly towards him.
The next day, @Tard Baby and @Ron /pol/  begin walking home. All of the items they bought were confiscated and their minibike has broken down. The two unknowingly decline the chance to be oil boys for a group of bikini girls, after which @Ron /pol/ tells  @Tard Baby that they will get their "break" one day. @Tard Baby and @Ron /pol/  then play a friendly game of tag as they walk back home.


----------



## NARPASSWORD (Mar 14, 2019)

TFW nobody wants to put you in their wikipedia movie copypasta madlibs


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## Somar (Mar 14, 2019)

At Culver University in Virginia, General Thunderbolt @Sword Fighter Super meets with Dr. Baby, the colleague and boyfriend of his daughter @Reynard, regarding an experiment that @Sword Fighter Super claims is meant to make humans immune to gamma radiation. The experiment—part of a World War II-era "super soldier" program that @Sword Fighter Super hopes to recreate—fails, and the exposure to gamma radiation causes Baby to transform into the @Tard Baby for brief periods of time, whenever his heart rate rises above 200 beats per minute. The @Tard Baby destroys the lab and surrounding area, killing several people inside, and injuring the General and @Reynard, along with others outside. Baby becomes a fugitive from the U.S. military and @Sword Fighter Super in particular, who wants to weaponize the @Tard Baby.



Five years later, Baby works at a bottling factory in Rocinha, Rio de Janeiro in Brazil, while searching for a cure for his condition. On the internet, he collaborates with a colleague he knows only as "Mr. Blue", and to whom he is "Mr. Green". He is learning Yoga techniques to help keep control, and has not transformed in five months. After Baby cuts his finger, a drop of his blood falls into a bottle, and is eventually ingested by an elderly consumer in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, giving him gamma sickness. Using the bottle to track down Baby, @Sword Fighter Super sends a special forces team, led by Russian-born British Royal Marine @BubbleButt, to capture him. Baby transforms into the @Tard Baby and defeats @BubbleButt's team. After @Sword Fighter Super explains how Baby became the @Tard Baby, @BubbleButt agrees to be injected with a small amount of a similar serum, which gives him enhanced speed, strength, agility, and healing, but also begins to deform his skeleton and impair his judgment.



Baby returns to Culver University and reunites with @Reynard, who is dating psychiatrist @2odastream. Baby is attacked a second time by @Sword Fighter Super and @BubbleButt's forces, tipped off by the suspicious @2odastream, causing him to again transform into the @Tard Baby. The ensuing battle outside the university proves futile for @Sword Fighter Super' forces and they retreat, though @BubbleButt, whose sanity is faltering, attacks and mocks the @Tard Baby. The @Tard Baby seemingly kills @BubbleButt and flees with @Reynard. After the @Tard Baby reverts to Baby, he and @Reynard go on the run, and Baby contacts Mr. Blue, who urges them to meet him in New York City. Mr. Blue is actually cellular biologist Dr. @TrippinKahlua, who tells Baby he has developed a possible antidote to Baby's condition. After a successful test, he warns Baby that the antidote may only reverse each individual transformation. @TrippinKahlua reveals he has synthesized Baby's blood samples, which Baby sent from Brazil, into a large supply, with the intention of applying its "limitless potential" to medicine. Fearful of the @Tard Baby's power falling into the military's hands, Baby wishes to destroy the blood supply.



@BubbleButt has survived the battle at Culver University and completely healed. He joins @Sword Fighter Super' forces for a third attempt to take Baby into custody. They succeed and Baby, along with @Reynard, are taken away in a helicopter. @BubbleButt stays behind and orders @TrippinKahlua to inject him with Baby's blood, as he covets the @Tard Baby's power. @TrippinKahlua warns that the combination of the super-soldier formula and Baby's blood may cause him to become an "abomination", but @BubbleButt insists. The experiment mutates @BubbleButt into a creature with size and strength surpassing that of the @Tard Baby, but drives him insane. He attacks @TrippinKahlua, who gets some of Baby's blood in a cut on his forehead, causing him to begin mutating as well.



@BubbleButt rampages through Harlem. Realizing that the @Tard Baby is the only one who can stop @BubbleButt, Baby convinces @Sword Fighter Super to release him. He jumps from @Sword Fighter Super' helicopter and transforms after hitting the ground. After a long and brutal battle through Harlem, the @Tard Baby defeats @BubbleButt. After having a peaceful moment with @Reynard, the @Tard Baby flees New York.



A month later, Baby is in Bella Coola, British Columbia. Instead of trying to suppress his transformation, he begins to transform in a controlled manner. @Somari1996 approaches @Sword Fighter Super at a local bar and informs him that a team is being put together.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 14, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> At Culver University in Virginia, General Thunderbolt @Sword Fighter Super meets with Dr. Baby, the colleague and boyfriend of his daughter @Reynard, regarding an experiment that @Sword Fighter Super claims is meant to make humans immune to gamma radiation. The experiment—part of a World War II-era "super soldier" program that @Sword Fighter Super hopes to recreate—fails, and the exposure to gamma radiation causes Baby to transform into the @Tard Baby for brief periods of time, whenever his heart rate rises above 200 beats per minute. The @Tard Baby destroys the lab and surrounding area, killing several people inside, and injuring the General and @Reynard, along with others outside. Baby becomes a fugitive from the U.S. military and @Sword Fighter Super in particular, who wants to weaponize the @Tard Baby.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I would love to weaponize @Tard Baby.


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## Reynard (Mar 14, 2019)

What the fuck, why did I only now get the notifications that I was mentioned in this thread?


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 14, 2019)

Reynard said:


> What the fuck, why did I only now get the notifications that I was mentioned in this thread?


Because you're stupid.


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## Reynard (Mar 14, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> Because you're stupid.


No, it's because the website code is a bit spotty from time to time.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 14, 2019)

Reynard said:


> No, it's because the website code is a bit spotty from time to time.


Fool!


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## Reynard (Mar 15, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> Fool!


No.  Null is the fool this time.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 15, 2019)

Reynard said:


> No.  Null is the fool this time.


Nool


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## Clockwork_PurBle (Mar 15, 2019)

Kari Kamiya said:


> A group of children are playing hide-and-seek in the courtyard of an apartment building somewhere in America using a chant about a predator of children. A woman sets the table for dinner, waiting for her daughter to come home from school. A wanted poster warns of a pedophile preying on children, as anxious parents wait outside a school.
> 
> Little Elsie Beckmann leaves school, bouncing a ball on her way home. She is approached by @Roasted, who is whistling "Rettsu! Ohime-sama Dakko"from an anime. He offers to buy her a balloon from a blind street-vendor and walks and talks with her. Elsie's place at the dinner table remains empty, her ball is shown rolling away across a patch of grass and her balloon is lost in the telephone lines overhead.
> 
> ...



Hate that I knew what this was going to be three sentences in.

Truly glorious, two year old post.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 16, 2019)

*Tombstone. *
I'm only using users for the main characters in this movie and not the smaller roles. 


Wyatt: @RomanesEuntDomus 
Doc Holliday: @The Shadow  (Because I'm pretty sure you had a Doc Holliday avatar.)
Virgil: @Desire Lines
Morgan: @Bassomatic 
Johnny Ringo: @Winnie the Poohnani
Josephine: @StarkRavingMad
Mattie: @Pina Colada
Ike Clanton: @Count groudon
Curly Bill: @Kiwi Jeff
Fabian: @bearycool

In 1879, members of the outlaw gang known as the Cowboys, led by @Kiwi Jeff  ride into a Mexican town and interrupt a local police officer's wedding. They then proceed to massacre the assembled policemen in retribution for killing two of their fellow gang members. Shortly before being shot, a local priest warns them that their acts of murder and savagery will be avenged, referencing the biblical fourth horseman.
@RomanesEuntDomus, a retired peace officer with a notable reputation, reunites with his brothers @Desire Lines and @Bassomatic in Tucson, Arizona, where they venture on toward Tombstone to settle down. There they encounter @RomanesEuntDomus's long-time friend @The Shadow, who is seeking relief from his worsening tuberculosis. @StarkRavingMad and @bearycool are also newly arrived with a traveling theater troupe. Meanwhile, @RomanesEuntDomus's common-law wife, @Pina Colada is becoming dependent on laudanum. @RomanesEuntDomus  and his brothers begin to profit from a stake in a gambling emporium and saloon when they have their first encounter with the Cowboys. The Cowboys are identifiable by the red sashes worn around their waists.
As tensions rise, @RomanesEuntDomus  is pressured to help rid the town of the Cowboys, though he is no longer a lawman. @Kiwi Jeff begins shooting at the sky after a visit to an opium den and is told by Marshal Fred White to relinquish his firearms. @Kiwi Jeff  instead shoots the marshal dead, and is forcibly taken into custody by @RomanesEuntDomus. The arrest infuriates  @Count groudon and the other Cowboys. @Kiwi Jeff stands trial, but is found not guilty due to a lack of witnesses. @Desire Lines, unable to tolerate lawlessness, becomes the new marshal and imposes a weapons ban within the city limits. This leads to a gunfight at the O.K. Corral, in which Billy Clanton, Tom McLaury, and Frank McLaury are killed. @Desire Lines and @Bassomatic are wounded, and the allegiance of county sheriff Johnny Behan with the Cowboys is made clear. As retribution for the Cowboy deaths, @RomanesEuntDomus's brothers are ambushed; @Bassomatic is killed, while @Desire Lines is left handicapped. A despondent @Desire Lines and his family leave Tombstone and board a train, with @Count groudon and Frank Stilwell close behind, preparing to ambush them. @RomanesEuntDomus sees that his family leaves safely, and then surprises the assassins. He kills Stilwell, but lets @Count groudon  live to send a message: @RomanesEuntDomus announces that he is a U.S. marshal, and that he intends to kill any man he sees wearing a red sash. @RomanesAuntDemus, @The Shadow, a reformed Cowboy named Sherman McMasters, Texas Jack Vermillion, and Turkey Creek Jack Johnson, form a posse to seek revenge.
@RomanesEuntDomus and his posse are ambushed in a riverside forest by the Cowboys. @RomanesEuntDomus walks into the creek, miraculously surviving the enemy fire, and kills @Kiwi Jeff along with many of his men. @Kiwi Jeff's second-in-command, @Winnie the Poohnani, becomes the new head of the Cowboys. When @The Shadow's health worsens, the group is accommodated by Henry Hooker at his ranch. @Winnie the Poohnani sends a messenger (dragging McMasters' corpse) to tell @RomanesEuntDomus that he wants a showdown to end the hostilities; @RomanesEuntDomus agrees. @RomanesEuntDomus sets off for the showdown, not knowing that @The Shadow had already arrived at the scene. @The Shadow confronts a surprised @Winnie the Poohnani and kills him in a duel. @RomanesEuntDomus runs when he hears the gunshot, only to encounter@The Shadow. They then press on to complete their task of eliminating the Cowboys, although @Count groudon escapes their vengeance by renouncing his red sash. @The Shadow is sent to a sanatorium in Colorado, where he later dies of his illness. At @The Shadow's urging, @RomanesEuntDomus pursues @StarkRavingMad to begin a new life.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 16, 2019)

Oscar Wildean said:


> *Tombstone. *
> I'm only using users for the main characters in this movie and not the smaller roles.
> 
> 
> ...





> Doing a western.
> Not using me.


Wtf, fuck you, dude.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 16, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> Wtf, fuck you, dude.



Pfft, cry more. I already used you.


----------



## Somar (Mar 16, 2019)

In 965 AD, @LordKaT, king of Asgard, wages war against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim and their leader @Rumpled Foreskin, to prevent them from conquering the nine realms, starting with Earth. The Asgardian warriors defeat the Frost Giants and seize the source of their power, the Casket of Ancient Winters.



In the present @LordKaT's son @A Cold Potato prepares to ascend to the throne of Asgard, but is interrupted when Frost Giants attempt to retrieve the Casket. Against @LordKaT's order, @A Cold Potato travels to Jotunheim to confront @Rumpled Foreskin, accompanied by his brother @NARPASSWORD, childhood friend@ and the Warriors Three. A battle ensues until @LordKaT intervenes to save the Asgardians, destroying the fragile truce between the two races. For @A Cold Potato's arrogance, @LordKaT strips his son of his godly power and exiles him to Earth as a mortal, accompanied by his hammer Mjölnir, now protected by an enchantment that allows only the worthy to wield it.



@A Cold Potato lands in New Mexico, where astrophysicist Dr. @DrainRedRain, her assistant @Strong Tranni Role Model, and mentor Dr. Erik @Ntwadumela find him. The local populace finds Mjolnir, which D.E.S.E.R.T. agent Dynastia soon commandeers before forcibly acquiring @DrainRedRain's data about the wormhole that delivered @A Cold Potato to Earth. @A Cold Potato, having discovered Mjolnir's nearby location, seeks to retrieve it from the facility that D.E.S.E.R.T. has constructed, but he finds himself unable to lift it and is captured. With @Ntwadumela's help, he is freed and resigns himself to exile on Earth as he develops a romance with @DrainRedRain.



@NARPASSWORD discovers that he is @Rumpled Foreskin's biological son , adopted by @LordKaT after the war ended. A weary @LordKaT falls into the deep "sleep" to recover his strength. @NARPASSWORD takes the throne in @LordKaT's stead and offers @Rumpled Foreskin the chance to kill @LordKaT and retrieve the Casket.@ and the Warriors Three, unhappy with @NARPASSWORD's rule, attempt to return @A Cold Potato from exile, convincing @vertexwindi , gatekeeper of the Bifröst—the means of traveling between worlds—to allow them travel to Earth. Aware of their plan, @NARPASSWORD sends the Destroyer, a seemingly indestructible automaton, to pursue them and kill @A Cold Potato. The warriors find @A Cold Potato, but the Destroyer attacks and defeats them, prompting @A Cold Potato to offer himself instead. Struck by the Destroyer and near death, @A Cold Potato's sacrifice proves him worthy to wield Mjölnir. The hammer returns to him, restoring his powers and enabling him to defeat the Destroyer. Kissing @DrainRedRain goodbye and vowing to return, he and his fellow Asgardians leave to confront @NARPASSWORD.



In Asgard, @NARPASSWORD betrays and kills @Rumpled Foreskin, revealing his true plan to use @Rumpled Foreskin's attempt on @LordKaT's life as an excuse to destroy Jotunheim with the Bifröst Bridge, thus proving himself worthy to his adoptive father. @A Cold Potato arrives and fights @NARPASSWORD before destroying the Bifröst Bridge to stop @NARPASSWORD's plan, stranding himself in Asgard. @LordKaT awakens and prevents the brothers from falling into the abyss created in the wake of the bridge's destruction, but @NARPASSWORD apparently commits suicide by allowing himself to fall when @LordKaT rejects his pleas for approval. @A Cold Potato makes amends with @LordKaT, admitting he is not ready to be king; meanwhile, on Earth, @DrainRedRain and her team search for a way to open a portal to Asgard.



In a post-credits scene, @Ntwadumela is taken to a D.E.S.E.R.T. facility, where @Alan Pardew opens a briefcase and asks him to study a mysterious cube-shaped object, which @Alan Pardew says may hold untold power. An invisible @NARPASSWORD prompts @Ntwadumela to agree, and he does.


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## drain (Mar 16, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> @A Cold Potato lands in New Mexico, where astrophysicist Dr. @DrainRedRain, her assistant @Strong Tranni Role Model, and mentor Dr. Erik @Ntwadumela find him. The local populace finds Mjolnir, which D.E.S.E.R.T. agent Dynastia soon commandeers before forcibly acquiring @DrainRedRain's data about the wormhole that delivered @A Cold Potato to Earth.



this is it, the ultimate wave of winner autism


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 16, 2019)

Oscar Wildean said:


> Pfft, cry more. I already used you.


You probably already used some of them too.... ;_;


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 16, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> You probably already used some of them too.... ;_;



You will always be Lloyd Christmas from Dumb And Dumber.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 16, 2019)

Oscar Wildean said:


> You will always be Lloyd Christmas from Dumb And Dumber.


But why


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## Somar (Mar 16, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> But why


Why do you think?


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Mar 16, 2019)

Tard Baby said:


> But why



Just be grateful I made you the popular one.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 16, 2019)

Oscar Wildean said:


> Just be grateful I made you the popular one.


Evil


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## NQ 952 (Mar 17, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> In 965 AD, @LordKaT, king of Asgard, wages war against the Frost Giants of Jotunheim and their leader @Rumpled Foreskin, to prevent them from conquering the nine realms, starting with Earth. The Asgardian warriors defeat the Frost Giants and seize the source of their power, the Casket of Ancient Winters.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I love my son


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## Clockwork_PurBle (Mar 17, 2019)

_Just throwing some random users out here, and I switched some things up a bit, one of my favorite films_

Teenager @Count groudon Yelnats IV lives in America with his family, who have been cursed to be autistic – a misfortune they blame on their ancestor Primal Groudon's failure to keep a promise to fortune teller Barb Chandler years ago in CWCville. One day, Groudon is falsely arrested for stealing a pair of dice that were donated to charity by D & D player @Gutpuke. Upon conviction, Groudon decides to attend Reddit, a juvenile detention camp, in lieu of serving his time in jail.

He arrives to find that the camp is a dried up lake run by the warden, @Recon , her assistant @AnOminous , and camp counselor @Sword Fighter Super. Prisoners who are known by their nicknames – including @howyadoin , Lolcow, Shill, Hambeast, Weeb, and Thot – spend each day digging holes in the desert; they may earn a day off if the inmates find anything worth a lul. After finding a golden butt plug initialed P.D. and a fossil, Groudon is accepted into the group and is given the nickname Caveman.

After taking the blame for Thot's stealing of AnOminous's tendies, Groudon is taken to the warden's house where old wanted posters and fanart lead him to suspect that "P.D." stands for @Piga Dgrifm , a fujoshi turned outlaw from the past. Recon asks Groudon to grab her box of lube and mentions that it contains rattlesnake venom. After he and AnOminous explain what happened with the tendies, Recon injures AnOnimous and allows Groudon to return to his hole.

Camp Reddit's history is revealed in a series of flashbacks throughout the film. In the 19th century, Reddit is a flourishing lakeside community. Dgrifm is involved in a love triangle with the furry Charles @Trilby, whom Dgrifm rejects, and a Kiwi tard cum seller named @Saffronette , whom Dgrifm loves. One night, after much turmoil, Trilby kills Saffronette and in retaliation, Dgrifm kills the local moderator and becomes an outlaw; at one point, she steals Primal Groudon's son Groudon I's chest. Twenty years later, the now-bankrupt Trilbys track down Dgrifm and demand she hand over her treasure. Dgrifm refuses and tells them to dig for the treasure, after which Dgrifm dies from a pit bull bite and the Trilbys set about digging for the treasure.

In the present, when Sword Fighter Super trolls Howyadoin, whose name is actually Christian "Chris-Chan" Chandler, the latter sperges and hits Sword Fighter Super with a shovel and runs off. After some deliberation, Groudon searches for Christian. The pair have difficulty surviving in the desert without water. Eventually, Groudon carries the now ill Christian up the mountain where they find a wild field of tard cum and a source of water, helping them regain strength; at the same time, Groudon unknowingly fulfills his ancestor's promise to the fortune teller and breaks the curse. While camping on the mountain, Groudon realizes that Christian stole Gutpuke's dice and threw them over the bridge to evade the police.

Returning to the camp, Groudon and Christian investigate the hole where Groudon found the lipstick and discover a chest before they are discovered by Recon, AnOminous, and Sword Fighter Super. They soon realize that Recon, who is a descendant of her (Trilby) family, is using the inmates to search for his treasure.

The next morning, the attorney general and Groudon's lawyer arrive, accompanied by police officers; the chest Groudon found is discovered to belong to his great grandfather before it was stolen by Dgfrim. Recon; AnOminous, who is revealed to be a paroled criminal named Marion Sevillo; and Sword Fighter Super, who is a troon impersonating a doctor, are arrested. Groudon and Christian are released and it rains in Reddit for the first time in over 100 years. The Yelnats family claims ownership of the chest which contains sheckels, a copy of "Stones to Abbigale", and a crusty fursuit, which they share with Christian, and both families live a life of financial ease as neighbors.


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## ATaxingWoman (Mar 18, 2019)

@AnOminous is a successful banker who lives in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée @JambledUpWords , who has become dissatisfied with their relationship. She seduces his best friend, @Danskjaevel , and the two begin a secret affair. Meanwhile, @AnOminous , having overheard @JambledUpWords  confess her infidelity to her mother, @PrincessJupiter , attaches a tape recorder to their phone in an attempt to identify her lover.

@FatFuckFrank , a neighboring college student @AnOminous  financially and emotionally supports, has a run-in with an armed drug dealer, @GenderCop  . @AnOminous  and @Danskjaevel  overpower @GenderCop   and detain him. @FatFuckFrank  also lusts after @JambledUpWords , and confesses this to @AnOminous , who understands and encourages him to instead pursue one of his classmates. @AnOminous  spirals into a mental haze and calls upon @Oscar Wildean , his and @Danskjaevel  friend and a psychologist, for help. @Danskjaevel  also confides in @Oscar Wildean  that he feels guilty about his affair. When @Oscar Wildean  asks @Danskjaevel  if the affair is with @JambledUpWords , @Danskjaevel  attacks and attempts to kill him, but they quickly reconcile.

At a surprise birthday party for @AnOminous , one of his friends catches @JambledUpWords  kissing @Danskjaevel  while the other guests are outside and confronts them about the affair. @AnOminous  announces that he and @JambledUpWords  are expecting a child, although @JambledUpWords  later reveals she lied about it in order to cover up the truth about the affair. At the end of the evening, @JambledUpWords  flaunts her affair in front of @AnOminous , who physically and verbally attacks @Danskjaevel .

After the party, @AnOminous  locks himself in the bathroom in despair. When he leaves, he retrieves the cassette recorder that he attached to the phone and listens to an intimate call between @JambledUpWords  and @Danskjaevel . Outraged, @AnOminous  berates @JambledUpWords  for betraying him, prompting her to end their relationship permanently and live with @Danskjaevel . @AnOminous  then has an emotional breakdown, angrily destroying his apartment and committing suicide via gunshot through the mouth. 

Hearing the commotion, @FatFuckFrank , @Danskjaevel , and @JambledUpWords  rush up the stairs to find his dead body. @Danskjaevel  blames @JambledUpWords  for @AnOminous ' death, admonishes her for her deceitful behavior, and tells her to get out of his life. @FatFuckFrank  tells @JambledUpWords  and @Danskjaevel  to leave him with @AnOminous , and they step back to give him a moment, but ultimately they all stay and comfort each other as the police arrive.


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## AnOminous (Mar 18, 2019)

Everybody betrayed me!  I'm fed up with this world!


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## PrincessHomura (Mar 18, 2019)

Aw, I only got a bit part...


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 18, 2019)

holy carp I remember this thread


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## Somar (Mar 18, 2019)

In the present day, scientists in the Arctic uncover an old, frozen aircraft. In March 1942, Nazi officer @Ass eating cunt and his men steal a mysterious relic called the Desseract, which possesses untold powers, from the town of Tønsberg in German-occupied Norway.



In New York City, @Kiwi Jeff is rejected for World War II military recruitment because of various health and physical problems. While attending an exhibition of future technologies with his friend, Sgt.  @NIGGO KILLA, @Kiwi Jeff again attempts to enlist. Overhearing@kiwi jeff's conversation with @NIGGO KILLA about wanting to help in the war, @Dr W allows @Kiwi Jeff to enlist. He is recruited into the Strategic Scientific Reserve as part of a "super-soldier" experiment under @Dr W, Col. @Splendid Meat Sticks , and British agent Peggy @trombonista. @Splendid Meat Sticks  is unconvinced by @Dr W's claims that @Kiwi Jeff is the right person for the procedure but relents after seeing @Kiwi Jeff commit an act of self-sacrificing bravery. The night before the treatment, @Dr W reveals to @Kiwi Jeff that @Ass eating cunt underwent an imperfect version of the procedure and suffered permanent side-effects.



@Ass eating cunt and Dr. Arnim @FatFuckFrank harness the energies of the Desseract, intending to use the power to fuel @FatFuckFrank's inventions, mounting an offensive that will change the world. @Ass eating cunt discovers @Dr W's location and dispatches assassin @Sanic to kill him. @Dr W subjects @Kiwi Jeff to the super-soldier treatment, injecting him with a special serum and dosing him with "vita-rays". After @Kiwi Jeff emerges from the experiment taller and more muscular, an undercover @Sanic kills @Dr W and flees. @Kiwi Jeff pursues and captures @Sanic, but the assassin avoids interrogation by committing suicide with a cyanide capsule. With @Dr W dead and his super-soldier formula lost, @Kiwi Jeff tours the nation in a colorful costume as "Captain Jeff" to promote war bonds while scientists study him and attempt to reverse-engineer the formula. In 1943, while on tour in Italy performing for active servicemen, @Kiwi Jeff learns that @NIGGO KILLA' unit was MIA in a battle against @Ass eating cunt's forces. Refusing to believe that @NIGGO KILLA is dead, @Kiwi Jeff has @trombonista and engineer @AnOminous fly him behind enemy lines to mount a solo rescue attempt. @Kiwi Jeff infiltrates the fortress of @Ass eating cunt's Nazi division Hydra, freeing @NIGGO KILLA and the other prisoners. @Kiwi Jeff confronts @Ass eating cunt, who removes a mask to reveal a red, skull-like visage that earned him the sobriquet "the Red Skull". @Ass eating cunt escapes and @Kiwi Jeff returns to base with the freed soldiers.



Rogers recruits @NIGGO KILLA, and some other people I’m to lazy to find users for, to attack other known Hydra bases. @AnOminous outfits @Kiwi Jeff with advanced equipment, most notably a circular shield made of vibranium, a rare, nearly indestructible metal. @Kiwi Jeff and his team sabotage various Hydra operations. The team later assaults a train carrying @FatFuckFrank. @Kiwi Jeff  succeeds in capturing @FatFuckFrank, but @NIGGO KILLA falls from the train to his assumed death. Using information extracted from @FatFuckFrank, the final Hydra stronghold is located, and@kiwi jeff leads an attack to stop @Ass eating cunt from using weapons of mass destruction on major American cities. @Kiwi Jeff climbs aboard @Ass eating cunt's aircraft as it takes off. During the subsequent fight, the Desseract's container is damaged. @Ass eating cunt physically handles the Desseract, which opens a wormhole into space, sucking him into it. The Desseract burns through the plane and is lost in the ocean. Seeing no way to land the plane without the risk of detonating its weapons, @Kiwi Jeff crashes it in the Arctic. @AnOminous later recovers the Desseract from the ocean floor but is unable to locate @Kiwi Jeff or the aircraft, presuming him dead.



@Kiwi Jeff awakens in a 1940s-style hospital room. Deducing from an anachronistic radio broadcast that something is wrong, he flees outside and finds himself in present-day Times Square, where S.H.I.E.L.D. director @Alan Pardew informs him that he has been "asleep" for nearly 70 years. In a post-credits scene, @Alan Pardew approaches @Kiwi Jeff and proposes a mission with worldwide ramifications.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 19, 2019)

> In an African desert millions of years ago, a tribe of [@Y2K Baby] is driven away from its water hole by a rival tribe. They awaken to find a featureless black monolith has appeared before them. Seemingly influenced by the monolith, they discover how to use a bone as a weapon and drive their rivals away from the water hole.
> 
> Millions of years later, a [Kiwi Farms] spaceplane carries [@LofaSofa] to the huge Space Station V orbiting Earth for a layover on his trip to Clavius Base, a United States outpost on the Moon. After [@LofaSofa] has a videophone call with his daughter, he deflects questions from his Soviet scientist friend and her colleague about rumors of a mysterious epidemic at Clavius. [@LofaSofa] speaks to a meeting of Clavius personnel, apologizing for the epidemic cover story but stressing secrecy. His mission is to investigate a recently found artifact buried four million years ago near the crater Tycho. [@LofaSofa] and others ride in a Moonbus to the artifact, a monolith identical to the one encountered by the ape-men. Sunlight strikes the monolith and a loud high-pitched radio signal is heard.
> 
> ...





Spoiler: source



(you should know this one)


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## Ass eating cunt (Mar 19, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> In the present day, scientists in the Arctic uncover an old, frozen aircraft. In March 1942, Nazi officer @Ass eating cunt and his men steal a mysterious relic called the Desseract, which possesses untold powers, from the town of Tønsberg in German-occupied Norway.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Do I really seem like that kind of person? Lmao


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## Pocket Dragoon (Mar 19, 2019)

_Zardoz_

In a future post-apocalyptic Earth in the year 2293, the human population is divided into the immortal "Kiwis" and mortal "Trannies". The Trannies live in a wasteland, growing food for the Kiwis, who live apart in "the Vortex", leading a luxurious but aimless existence on the grounds of a country estate. The connection between the two groups is through Tranny Exterminators, who kill and terrorize other "Tranny" at the orders of a huge flying stone head called _Zardoz_ which supplies them with weapons in exchange for the milk they collect. @Null, a Tranny Exterminator, hides aboard Zardoz during one trip, temporarily "killing" its Kiwi operator-creator @CatParty.

Arriving in the Vortex, @Null meets two Kiwis — @millais and @AnOminous. Overcoming him with psychic powers, they make him a prisoner and menial worker within their community. @milais wants @Null destroyed immediately; others, led by @AnOminous and a subversive Kiwi named @Meowthkip, insist on keeping him alive for further study.

In time, @Null learns the nature of the Vortex. The Kiwis are overseen and protected from death by the Sonichu, an artificial intelligence. Given their limitless lifespan, the Kiwis have grown bored and corrupt. The needlessness of procreation has rendered the men impotent and meditation has replaced sleep. Others fall into catatonia, forming the social stratum the Kiwis have named the "Apathetics." The Kiwis spend their days stewarding mankind's vast knowledge—through a voice recognition based search engine—pumping special milk for themselves from the milk deliveries and participating in communal meditation rituals. To give time and life more meaning the Vortex developed complex social rules whose violators are punished with artificial aging. The most extreme offenders are condemned to permanent old age and the status of "Renegades." Kiwis who somehow managed to die, usually through some fatal accident, are then reborn into another healthy, synthetically reproduced body that is identical to the one they just lost.

@Null is less brutal and far more intelligent than the Kiwis think he is. Genetic analysis reveals he is the ultimate result of long-running eugenics experiments devised by @CatParty—who is Zardoz—who controlled the outlands with the Exterminators, thus coercing the Trannies to supply the Vortices with milk. Zardoz's aim was to breed a superman who would penetrate the Vortex and save mankind from its hopelessly stagnant status quo. The women's analysis of @Null's mental images earlier had revealed that in the ruins of the old world @CatParty first encouraged @Null to learn to read, then led him to the book _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. Zed finally understands the origin of the name _Zardoz_—Wi*zard* of *Oz*—bringing him to a true awareness of Zardoz as a shitposting manipulator rather than an actual deity. He becomes infuriated with this realization and decides to plumb the deepest depths of this enormous mystery.

As @Null divines the nature of the Vortex and its problems, the Kiwis use him to fight their internecine quarrels. Led by @millais, the Kiwis decide to kill @Null and to age @Meowthkip. @Null escapes and, aided by @AnOminous and @Meowthkip, absorbs all the Kiwis' knowledge, including that of the Vortex's origin, to destroy the Sonichu. @Null helps the Exterminators invade the Vortex and kill most of the Kiwis—who welcome death as a release from their eternal but boring existence. A few Kiwis do escape the Vortex's destruction, heading out to radically new lives as fellow mortal beings among the Trannies. @Null brings the Kiwis salvation by bringing them death.

_Zardoz_ ends in a wordless sequence of images accompanied by the sombre second movement (allegretto) of Beethoven's Seventh Symphony, snatches of which are heard throughout the film. @millais, having fallen in love with @Null, gives birth to a baby boy within the remains of the giant stone head. In matching green suits, they sit with the boy standing between them, who matures as they age in a series of fades. The youth leaves his parents, who take hands and grow very old, eventually decomposing into skeletons and finally vanishing. Nothing remains in the space but painted hand-prints on the wall and @Null's Webley-Fosbery revolver.





Sean Connery as @Null, wearing what the UK's Channel 4 described as "a red nappy, knee-high leather boots, pony tail and Zapatamoustache."


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## Danskjaevel (Mar 19, 2019)

AnOminous said:


> Everybody betrayed me!  I'm fed up with this world!



IF YOU'D KEEP @JambledUpWords SATISFIED SHE WOULDN'T COME TO ME!


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## Null (Mar 19, 2019)

Stop fucking tagging me


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## Somar (Mar 19, 2019)

Null said:


> Stop fucking tagging me


Just wait until I get to Infinity War.


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 19, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> Just wait until I get to Infinity War.



This is gonna be good. ?


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 19, 2019)

@A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.

As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.

@A Cold Potato, @Reynard and @Kiwi Jeff  fight their way to where @ToroidalBoat, @Tetraphobia , @NARPASSWORD  and the homeless man are hiding. Together, they struggle through the zombie horde to the front train car, where the other passengers are sheltered. At the instigation of @Alan Pardew , however, the passengers block the survivors from entering, fearing that they are infected. @Reynard and @Tetraphobia  sacrifice themselves to give the others time to force open the door and enter the car. @Alan Pardew  demands that the newcomers isolate themselves in the vestibule, and the others follow his lead. When @atm deliberately opens the door to the zombies to be with her zombified sister @Tetraphobia  due to @Alan Pardew  and the other passengers not wanting the newcomers to be with them in the train car, the zombies kill the rest of the passengers, leaving @A Cold Potato, @ToroidalBoat, @Tard Baby, @Kiwi Jeff , @NARPASSWORD  and the homeless man safe, as they are in the vestibule. @Alan Pardew and the train attendant escape the onslaught by hiding in the bathroom.

A blocked track at East Kiwi forces the survivors to stop and search for another train. In the process, @A Cold Potato, @Tard Baby,  @ToroidalBoat, and the homeless man are separated from @Kiwi Jeff  and @Tard Baby. @Alan Pardew  escapes after pushing the train attendant to be killed by the zombies, then does the same with @Tard Baby . Heartbroken, @Kiwi Jeff  stays with @Tard Baby  and is soon bitten by her. The train conductor starts a locomotive on another track but, while trying to save @Alan Pardew, is also killed by zombies after being pushed by @Alan Pardew . The homeless man sacrifices himself to let @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD  escape with @A Cold Potato into the train the conductor had activated. They encounter @Alan Pardew  in the motorman's cab, on the verge of turning into a zombie, having been bitten when the train conductor saved him. @A Cold Potato fights him off, but is himself bitten. He puts @ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD  inside the engine room and shares his last words with his daughter before moving outside. As he zombifies, he thinks of the first time he held his daughter in his arms and throws himself off the locomotive with a smile.

@ToroidalBoat and @NARPASSWORD  get off at Wellington and begin walking through a train tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel are soldiers stationed to defend the perimeter against zombies. Unable to see the new arrivals clearly, the soldiers at the checkpoint are instructed to shoot them. However, the soldiers then hear singing, which makes them realize the newcomers are human. @ToroidalBoat tearfully sings the song she had wanted to perform for her father at the beginning of the film, and now sings it to honor his sacrifice.


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## Reynard (Mar 19, 2019)

ICameToplaY said:


> @A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.
> 
> As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.
> 
> ...


You called me a husband and not the tru & onest grill I am reeeeeeeeee!


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 19, 2019)

ICameToplaY said:


> @A Cold Potato , a divorced fund manager, is a workaholic and absentee father to his young daughter @ToroidalBoat . For her birthday the next day, she wishes for her father to take her to Wellington to see her mother. They board the KWI 101 at Greymouth Station. Others on the same train include the tough working-class husband @Reynard and his futa wife @NARPASSWORD , a high school baseball team, the rich and egotistical COO @Alan Pardew , elderly sisters @Tetraphobia and @atm, and a homeless man experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder.
> 
> As the train departs, a convulsing young woman boards the train with a bite wound on her leg. She soon turns into a zombie and attacks a train attendant, who then turns into a zombie. The virus quickly spreads throughout the train. Baseball player @Kiwi Jeff, a girl named @Tard Baby , who has a crush on him, and several passengers escape to another car. News broadcasts report zombie outbreaks (reported as riots) nationwide and Greymouth Station was attacked by zombies so they passed it. After the train stops at Chirstchurch Station, the surviving passengers find the city and station also overrun, and they hastily retreat back to the train, splitting up into different train cars in the chaos. The conductor restarts the train to head to Nelson City, where a quarantine zone has reportedly been established.
> 
> ...


Unrealistic. I live in this story.


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## Somar (Mar 20, 2019)

The Asgardian @NARPASSWORD encounters the Other, the leader of an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri. In exchange for retrieving the Desseract, a powerful energy source of unknown potential, the Other promises @NARPASSWORD an army with which he can subjugate Earth. @Alan Pardew, director of the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T., and his lieutenant Agent Maria Hill arrive at a remote research facility during an evacuation, where physicist Dr. @Ntwadumela is leading a research team experimenting on the Desseract. Agent Phil @Dynastia explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy. The Desseract suddenly activates and opens a wormhole, allowing @NARPASSWORD to reach Earth. @NARPASSWORD takes the Desseract and uses his scepter to enslave @Ntwadumela and a few other agents, including Clint @Sammy, to aid him in his getaway.



In response to the attack, @Alan Pardew reactivates the "Vroomers Initiative". Agent Natasha @Rat Speaker is sent to Calcutta to recruit Dr Baby to trace the Desseract through its gamma radiation emissions. @Dynastia visits @Somari1996 to have him review @Ntwadumela's research, and @Alan Pardew approaches @Kiwi Jeff with an assignment to retrieve the Desseract.



In Stuttgart, @Sammy steals iridium needed to stabilize the Desseract's power while @NARPASSWORD causes a distraction, leading to a brief confrontation with @Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, and @Rat Speaker that ends with @NARPASSWORD's surrender. While @NARPASSWORD is being escorted to D.E.S.E.R.T., @A Cold Potato, his adoptive brother, arrives and frees him, hoping to convince him to abandon his plan and return to Asgard. After a confrontation with @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff, @A Cold Potato agrees to take @NARPASSWORD to D.E.S.E.R.T.'s flying aircraft carrier, the Helicarrier. Upon arrival, @NARPASSWORD is imprisoned while Baby and @Somari1996 attempt to locate the Desseract.



The Vroomers become divided, both over how to approach @NARPASSWORD and the revelation that D.E.S.E.R.T. plans to harness the Desseract to develop weapons as a deterrent against hostile extraterrestrials. As the group argues, @Sammy and @NARPASSWORD's other possessed agents attack the Helicarrier, disabling one of its engines in flight and causing Baby to transform into the @Tard Baby. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff work to restart the damaged engine, and @A Cold Potato attempts to stop the @Tard Baby's rampage. @Rat Speaker reluctantly fights @Sammy, and knocks him unconscious, breaking @NARPASSWORD's mind control. @NARPASSWORD escapes after killing @Dynastia and ejecting @A Cold Potato from the airship, while the @Tard Baby falls to the ground after attacking a D.E.S.E.R.T. fighter jet. @Alan Pardew uses @Dynastia's death to motivate the Vroomers into working as a team. @Somari1996 and @Kiwi Jeff realize that for @NARPASSWORD, simply defeating them will not be enough; he needs to overpower them publicly to validate himself as ruler of Earth. @NARPASSWORD uses the Desseract, in conjunction with a device @Ntwadumela built, to open a wormhole above @Somari1996 Tower to the Chitauri fleet in space, launching his invasion.



@Kiwi Jeff, @Somari1996, @Rat Speaker, @Sammy, and @A Cold Potato rally in defense of New York City, the wormhole's location. Baby arrives and transforms into the @Tard Baby, and together the Vroomers battle the Chitauri while evacuating civilians. The @Tard Baby finds @NARPASSWORD and beats him into submission. @Rat Speaker makes her way to the wormhole generator, where @Ntwadumela, freed from @NARPASSWORD's mind control, reveals that @NARPASSWORD's scepter can be used to shut down the generator. Meanwhile, @Alan Pardew's superiors from the World Security Council attempt to end the invasion by launching a nuclear missile at Midtown Manhattan. @Somari1996 intercepts the missile and takes it through the wormhole toward the Chitauri fleet. The missile detonates, destroying the Chitauri mothership and disabling their forces on Earth. @Somari1996's suit runs out of power, and he falls back through the wormhole just as @Rat Speaker closes it. @Somari1996 goes into freefall, but the @Tard Baby saves him from crashing into the ground. In the aftermath, @A Cold Potato returns @NARPASSWORD and the Desseract to Asgard, while @Alan Pardew expresses confidence that the Vroomers will return if and when they are needed.



In a mid-credits scene, the Other confers with his master about the failed attack on Earth. In a post-credits scene, the Vroomers eat in silence at a shawarma restaurant.


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 20, 2019)

NARPASSWORD said:


> Unrealistic. I live in this story.


For now...


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## HG 400 (Mar 21, 2019)

Somari1996 said:


> The Asgardian @NARPASSWORD encounters the Other, the leader of an extraterrestrial race known as the Chitauri. In exchange for retrieving the Desseract, a powerful energy source of unknown potential, the Other promises @NARPASSWORD an army with which he can subjugate Earth. @Alan Pardew, director of the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T., and his lieutenant Agent Maria Hill arrive at a remote research facility during an evacuation, where physicist Dr. @Ntwadumela is leading a research team experimenting on the Desseract. Agent Phil @Dynastia explains that the object has begun radiating an unusual form of energy. The Desseract suddenly activates and opens a wormhole, allowing @NARPASSWORD to reach Earth. @NARPASSWORD takes the Desseract and uses his scepter to enslave @Ntwadumela and a few other agents, including Clint @Sammy, to aid him in his getaway.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Don't tag me.


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## Somar (Mar 21, 2019)

Dynastia said:


> Don't tag me.


Well don't worry, you're dead for the rest of this franchise anyway. Unless of course I decided to make Agents of D.E.S.E.R.T


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## Somar (Mar 22, 2019)

At a New Year's Eve party in 1999, @Somari1996 meets scientist @Apoth42, the inventor of an experimental regenerative treatment named Extremis that allows recovery from crippling injuries. Disabled scientist @LofaSofa offers them a place in his company Advanced Idea Mechanics, but @Somari1996 rejects him. In late 2012, @Somari1996 is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and is having frequent panic and anxiety attacks due to his experiences during the alien invasion and subsequent Battle of New York. Restless, he has built dozens of new Iron Captor suits, creating friction with his girlfriend @tomoyo.



A string of bombings claimed by a terrorist known as the Mandarin has left intelligence agencies bewildered by a lack of forensic evidence. @Somari1996's security chief Happy Hogan is badly injured in one such attack, prompting @Somari1996 to boldly issue a televised threat to the Mandarin, revealing his home address in the process. The Mandarin sends gunship helicopters to destroy @Somari1996's home. @Apoth42, who came to warn @Somari1996, survives the attack with @tomoyo. @Somari1996 escapes in an experimental new Iron Captor suit, which his artificial intelligence @RobotGentleman. pilots to rural Tennessee, following a flight plan from @Somari1996's investigation into the Mandarin. @Somari1996's new armor is not fully functional, and lacks sufficient power to return to California, leaving the world to believe him dead.



Teaming with @Hal, a 10-year-old boy, @Somari1996 investigates the remains of a local explosion bearing the hallmarks of a Mandarin attack. He discovers the "bombings" were triggered by soldiers subjected to Extremis whose bodies explosively rejected the treatment. These explosions were falsely attributed to a terrorist plot in order to cover up Extremis's flaws. @Somari1996 witnesses Extremis first hand when Mandarin agents attack him. Meanwhile, @LofaSofa resurfaces and kidnaps @tomoyo and @Apoth42. American intelligence agencies continue to search for the Mandarin's location, with @Syaoran Li—the former Card Machine, now re-branded as the Card Patriot—lured into a trap to steal his Iron Captor-like armor.



With @Hal's help, @Somari1996 traces the Mandarin to Miami and infiltrates his headquarters using improvised weapons. Inside he discovers the Mandarin is actually an English actor named @Dirt McGirt, who is oblivious to the actions carried out in his image. @LofaSofa, who appropriated @Apoth42's Extremis research as a cure for his own disability and expanded the program to include injured war veterans, reveals he is the real Mandarin behind Slattery's cover. After capturing @Somari1996, @LofaSofa reveals that he has subjected @tomoyo to Extremis in the hope that @Somari1996 will help fix Extremis's flaws while trying to save her. @LofaSofa fatally shoots @Apoth42 when she tries to stop him.



@Somari1996 escapes and reunites with @Syaoran Li, discovering that @LofaSofa intends to attack President @Flowers For Sonichu aboard Air Force One, using the Card Patriot armor. @Somari1996 saves some surviving passengers and crew but cannot stop @LofaSofa from abducting @Flowers For Sonichu and destroying Air Force One. They trace @LofaSofa to an impounded damaged oil tanker where @LofaSofa intends to kill @Flowers For Sonichu on live television. The Vice President will become a puppet leader, following @LofaSofa's orders in exchange for Extremis to cure his young daughter's disability. On the platform, @Somari1996 works to save @tomoyo, as @Syaoran Li goes after the President. @Somari1996 summons his remaining Iron Captor suits, controlled remotely by @RobotGentleman., to provide air support. @Syaoran Li secures the President and takes him to safety, while @Somari1996 discovers @tomoyo has survived the Extremis procedure; before he can save her, a rig collapses around them and she falls to her apparent death. @Somari1996 confronts @LofaSofa and traps him in an Iron Captor suit that he self-destructs, but fails to kill him. @tomoyo, whose Extremis powers allowed her to survive her fall, intervenes and kills @LofaSofa.



@Somari1996 orders @RobotGentleman. to remotely destroy each Iron Captor suit as a sign of his devotion to @tomoyo, while the Vice President and @Dirt McGirt are arrested. With @Somari1996's help, @tomoyo' Extremis effects are stabilized, and @Somari1996 promises to scale back his life as Iron Captor, undergoing surgery to remove the shrapnel near his heart and throwing his obsolete chest arc reactor into the sea. He muses that, even without the technology, he will always be Iron Captor.



Also @Tard Baby makes a cameo at the end since @Somari1996 took time out of her life to appear in his film when she could have been doing better things with her time.


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## Gingervitis (Mar 23, 2019)

Eight-year-olds @Null and @AnOminous discover a magical black stone in the woods. In the face of @AnOminous's moving away, the two vow to always be friends.

Decades later, @Null, now a successful novelist, is struck by a car but miraculously survives the accident and rapidly heals from his injuries, which he credits to the power of the stone. Returning home, @Null reveals to his wife, @Cowlick, that he has not been working on a new book but has instead been using his hacking abilities to uncover "the most secret government and corporate secrets," which he plans to publish in an expose. His commitment to the project is tested by his wife's descent into drug addiction and eventual overdose, as well as the constant sexual attention paid to him by his best friend, @Gingervitis's, underage step daughter. Later, @Gingervitis himself is murdered by his wife for turning down her own sexual advances; distraught, she stages his death as a suicide.

Plagued by disturbing dreams of a mystical book, @Null begins seeing a psychologist, who helps him unearth repressed childhood memories; doing so causes @Null to realize that the nurse who attended to him during his recovery from the car accident was an adult @AnOminous and the two are reunited, quickly beginning a sexual relationship. Learning about @Null's plans to publish the expose, a mysterious assailant kidnaps @AnOminous. Using psychic powers granted to him by the stone, @Null rescues her by teleporting into the kidnapper's compound. Going to visit his psychologist one last time, @Null learns that she is, in fact, a ghost, and that he must now face "the council of spirits," who guard the book he has been seeing in his dreams.

@Null publishes his book, hosting a press conference in which he divulges "the most secret government and corporate secrets." During his speech, an unknown figure attempts to assassinate him, only for @Null to kill him with his psychic powers. Later, having been exposed, a number of politicians and business people take their own lives in public exhibitions to applauding crowds.

His mission complete, @Null and @AnOminous return to the place where they found the stone in the woods as children.


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## AF 802 (Mar 23, 2019)

@Tard Baby is a successful banker who lives in a San Francisco townhouse with his fiancée @Alan Pardew, who has become dissatisfied with their relationship. She seduces his best friend, @CatParty, and the two begin a secret affair. Meanwhile, @Tard Baby, having overheard @Alan Pardew confess her infidelity to her mother, @Kiwi Jeff, attaches a tape recorder to their phone in an attempt to identify her lover.

@Sammy, a neighboring college student @Tard Baby financially and emotionally supports, has a run-in with an armed drug dealer, @Ass eating cunt. @Tard Baby and @CatParty overpower @Ass eating cunt and detain him. @Sammy also lusts after @Alan Pardew, and confesses this to @Tard Baby, who understands and encourages him to instead pursue one of his classmates. @Tard Baby spirals into a mental haze and calls upon @Uncanny Valley, his and @CatParty's friend and a psychologist, for help. @CatParty also confides in @Uncanny Valley that he feels guilty about his affair. When @Uncanny Valley asks @CatParty if the affair is with @Alan Pardew, @CatParty attacks and attempts to kill him, but they quickly reconcile.

At a surprise birthday party for @Tard Baby, one of his friends catches @Alan Pardew kissing @CatParty while the other guests are outside and confronts them about the affair. @Tard Baby announces that he and @Alan Pardew are expecting a child, although @Alan Pardew later reveals she lied about it in order to cover up the truth about the affair. At the end of the evening, @Alan Pardew flaunts her affair in front of @Tard Baby, who physically and verbally attacks @CatParty.

After the party, @Tard Baby locks himself in the bathroom in despair. When he leaves, he retrieves the cassette recorder that he attached to the phone and listens to an intimate call between @Alan Pardew and @CatParty. Outraged, @Tard Baby berates @Alan Pardew for betraying him, prompting her to end their relationship permanently and live with @CatParty . @Tard Baby then has an emotional breakdown, angrily destroying his apartment and committing suicide via gunshot through the mouth.

Hearing the commotion, @Sammy, @CatParty, and @Alan Pardew rush up the stairs to find his dead body. @CatParty blames @Alan Pardew for @Tard Baby's death, admonishes her for her deceitful behavior, and tells her to get out of his life. @Sammy tells @Alan Pardew and @CatParty to leave him with @Tard Baby, and they step back to give him a moment, but ultimately they all stay and comfort each other as the police arrive.


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## AnOminous (Mar 23, 2019)

Gingervitis said:


> Eight-year-olds @Null and @AnOminous discover a magical black stone in the woods. In the face of @AnOminous's moving away, the two vow to always be friends.
> 
> Decades later, @Null, now a successful novelist, is struck by a car but miraculously survives the accident and rapidly heals from his injuries, which he credits to the power of the stone. Returning home, @Null reveals to his wife, @Cowlick, that he has not been working on a new book but has instead been using his hacking abilities to uncover "the most secret government and corporate secrets," which he plans to publish in an expose. His commitment to the project is tested by his wife's descent into drug addiction and eventual overdose, as well as the constant sexual attention paid to him by his best friend, @Gingervitis's, underage step daughter. Later, @Gingervitis himself is murdered by his wife for turning down her own sexual advances; distraught, she stages his death as a suicide.
> 
> ...



note, nool will cut a bitch for tagging him in this thread.


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## Remove Goat (Mar 23, 2019)

In Nazi-occupied Poland, 12-year-old @The Flawless Gazelles is separated from his parents upon entering the Auschwitz concentration camp. While trying to reach them, he causes a set of metal gates to bend towards him as the result of his autistic ability to create magnetic fields and control metal manifesting, only to be knocked out by the guards. In the not too distant future, U.S. Senator @Ron /pol/   attempts to pass an "Autism Registration Act" in Congress, which would force autistics to publicly reveal their identities and abilities. Present are @The Flawless Gazelles , now going by the name "Magneto", and his telepathic colleague Professor @Null . Seeing @The Flawless Gazelles in attendance, @Null  becomes concerned with how he will respond to the Registration Act.

Meanwhile, in Meridian, Mississippi, 17-year-old @Rio accidentally puts his boyfriend into a coma upon kissing him as the result of his autistic ability to absorb the powers and life force of others. He runs away from home and adopts the name Rogue. In Alberta, he meets @Dynastia , also known as Wolverine, who possesses superhuman healing abilities and metal "claws" that protrude from between his knuckles. While on the road together, they are attacked by a minion of @The Flawless Gazelles 's, @AnOminous  , until two of @Null 's students @ICameToplaY and @yawning sneasel arrive and save them. @Dynastia and @Rio are brought to @Null 's mansion and school for autistics in Westchester County, New York. @Null tells @Dynastia  that @The Flawless Gazelles appears to have taken an interest in @Dynastia and asks him to stay while @Null 's autists, the C-Men, investigate the matter. Meanwhile, @Rio  enrolls in the school.

Senator @Ron /pol/  is abducted by two more of @The Flawless Gazelles 's minions, @the autist of dojima and @Somari1996 and is brought to their hideout on the uncharted island of Genosha. There, @The Flawless Gazelles  uses @Ron /pol/ as a test subject for a machine powered by his magnetic abilities that generates a field of radiation, inducing autism in normal humans. @Ron /pol/ later escapes by taking advantage of his newfound autism. @Rio visits @Dynastia during the night while he is having a nightmare; however, he accidentally stabs him once startled, but @Rio  is able to absorb his healing ability to recover, which other students witness, having arrived to help. He is later convinced by @Somari1996  , who disguises herself as @Rio 's crush @gobbogobb , that @Null is angry with him and he should leave the school. @Null uses his autist-locating machine Kiwi Farms to find @Rio at a train station, and the C-Men go to retrieve her. Meanwhile, @Somari1996 enters Kiwi Farms and sabotages it.

Having left ahead of @yawning sneasel and @ICameToplaY , @Dynastia finds @Rio on a train and convinces him to return to the school. Before they can leave, @The Flawless Gazelles arrives, knocks out @Dynastia and subdues @Rio . Although @Null attempts to stop @The Flawless Gazelles by mentally controlling @AnOminous  , he is forced to release his hold on @AnOminous  when @The Flawless Gazelles  threatens the police who have converged on the train station, allowing @The Flawless Gazelles  's Brotherhood to escape with @Rio . @Ron /pol/  arrives at @Null 's school, and @Null reads his mind to learn about @The Flawless Gazelles 's machine. Realizing the strain of powering it nearly killed @The Flawless Gazelles , the group deduces he intends to transfer his powers to @Rio and use him to power it at the cost of his life. @Ron /pol/ 's body rejects his autism, and his body dissolves into liquid. @Null attempts to locate @Rio using Kiwi Farms, but @Somari1996 's sabotage incapacitates him, and he falls into a coma. Fellow telekinetic and telepath @CrunkLord420   fixes Kiwi Farms and uses it, learning that @The Flawless Gazelles plans to place his autism-inducing machine on Liberty Island and use it to "exceptionalize" the world leaders meeting at a summit on nearby Ellis Island. The C-Men scale the Statue of Liberty, battling the Brotherhood while @The Flawless Gazelles transfers his powers to @Rio  and activates the mutating machine. As @Dynastia confronts and distracts @The Flawless Gazelles , @yawning sneasel  blasts him away, allowing @Dynastia to destroy the machine. He transfers his powers to @Rio and his healing abilities rejuvenate him, while incapacitating himself.

Professor @Null and @Dynastia recover from their comas. The group also learn that @Somari1996  escaped the island battle and is impersonating Senator @Ron /pol/ . @Null gives @Dynastia a lead to his past at an abandoned military installation in Canada. @The Flawless Gazelles is imprisoned in a complex constructed of plastic and is visited by @Null , and @The Flawless Gazelles  warns him he intends to escape one day and continue the fight.


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 26, 2019)

In the Southeast Asian nation of Shadaloo, civil war has erupted between the forces of drug lord-turned General @CatParty and the Allied Nations led by Colonel @Reynard. @CatParty has captured several A.N. relief workers, and via a live two-way radio broadcast, demands @Reynard secure a US$20 billion ransom in three days. @Reynard refuses and vows to track @CatParty down and place him on trial for his crimes, but his assistant, Sergeant @NARPASSWORD, is only partially able to pinpoint @CatParty's location to the river-delta region outside the city. One hostage is Guile's friend Sergeant @Super Collie, who @CatParty orders taken to his lab for his captive doctor and scientist, @Count groudon, to turn into the first of his supersoldiers. Though @Super Collie is severely disfigured by the procedure, @Count groudon secretly alters his cerebral programming to maintain @Super Collie's humanity.

American con artists  @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff attempt to swindle arms dealer @AnOminous by providing him with fake weaponry. @AnOminous sees through the ruse and has @Uncanny Valley fight his cage champion, @bearycool, but @Reynard bursts in and arrests everyone present for violating a curfew. In the prison grounds, @Reynard witnesses @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff fighting @AnOminous's men, and recruits them to help him find @CatParty in exchange for their freedom, since @AnOminous is @CatParty's arms supplier. They are given a homing device and win @CatParty's trust by staging a prison escape and faking @Reynard's death. However, news reporter @Feline Darkmage, whose father was killed by @CatParty, and her crew, former sumo wrestler @LordKaT and boxer @DrainRedRain, who are out for revenge against @AnOminous for ruining their careers, stumble across the plan, and over @Reynard's objections, attempt to assassinate the two warlords at a party. To maintain @CatParty's trust, @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff stop the assassination and reveal the conspirators to @CatParty.

Returning to his base, @CatParty inducts @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff into his organization and orders @LordKaT and @DrainRedRain imprisoned and @Feline Darkmage taken to his quarters. @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff break @DrainRedRain and @LordKaT out of confinement and rush to confront @CatParty, who is fighting @Feline Darkmage, but @CatParty escapes and releases sleeping gas, sedating them all. @Reynard plans his assault on @CatParty's base. He is impeded by the Deputy Secretary of the A.N., who informs @Reynard that the decision has been made to pay @CatParty the ransom, but @Reynard and his loyal troops nevertheless proceed with the mission. At the base, @Count groudon is found out by a security guard; during the ensuing fight, @Super Collie is released, and he kills the guard to protect @Count groudon. @Reynard arrives and sneaks into the lab, where he encounters @Super Collie. @Reynard prepares to shoot @Super Collie to end his suffering, but @Count groudon stops him. @CatParty prepares to kill the hostages by unleashing @Super Collie on them, but @Reynard emerges and engages @CatParty's guards until the remaining A.N. forces arrive. After @CatParty makes it clear that he will not surrender peacefully, @Reynard orders his allies to rescue the hostages and engages @CatParty in a personal duel. As @Reynard and @CatParty fight, @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff defeat @AnOminous and @bearycool. @CatParty's computer expert @ICameToplaY flees through a secret passage, joined by @AnOminous, while Bison's bodyguard, @Medafag, engages @LordKaT in a fight until learning from @ICameToplaY that @CatParty was the true enemy, and sides with @Uncanny Valley and @Kiwi Jeff to save the hostages.

@Reynard gains the upper hand against @CatParty and kicks him into a bank of hard drives, electrocuting him. A revival system restores @CatParty and he reveals that his suit is powered by electromagnetism, enabling him to fly and fire electricity. @CatParty takes control of the fight, beating @Reynard viciously, and moves to deal the death blow, but @Reynard counters by kicking @CatParty into his monitor wall, finishing him off and overloading the base's energy field. The hostages are rescued, but @Reynard stays behind to convince @Count groudon and @Super Collie to return with him. They refuse, with @Count groudon wishing to atone for his part in mutating @Super Collie. @Reynard flees the exploding base and reunites with his comrades.

In a post-credits scene, @CatParty is revived once again amidst his ruined command center to try his hand at world conquest one more time.

(not mentioned: @vertexwindi as T. Hawk)


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## Somar (Mar 26, 2019)

Two years after the Battle of New York, @Kiwi Jeff works in Washington, D.C. for the espionage agency D.E.S.E.R.T. under Director @Alan Pardew, while adjusting to contemporary society. @Kiwi Jeff and Agent @Rat Speaker are sent with D.E.S.E.R.T.'s counter-terrorism S.T.R.I.K.E. team, led by Agent @Jon-Kacho, to free hostages aboard a D.E.S.E.R.T. vessel. Mid-mission, @Kiwi Jeff discovers @Rat Speaker has another agenda: to extract data from the ship's computers for @Alan Pardew. @Kiwi Jeff returns to the Triskelion, D.E.S.E.R.T.'s headquarters, to confront @Alan Pardew and is briefed about Project Insight: three Helicarriers linked to spy satellites, designed to preemptively eliminate threats. Unable to decrypt the data recovered by @Rat Speaker, @Alan Pardew becomes suspicious about Insight and asks senior D.E.S.E.R.T. official and Secretary of Internal Security @JSGOTI to delay the project.



On his way to rendezvous with @trombonista, @Alan Pardew is ambushed by assailants led by a mysterious assassin called the Winter Soldier. @Alan Pardew escapes to @Kiwi Jeff's apartment, and warns @Kiwi Jeff that D.E.S.E.R.T. is compromised. @Alan Pardew is gunned down by the Winter Soldier, before handing @Kiwi Jeff a flash drive containing data from the ship. @Alan Pardew is pronounced dead during surgery, and @trombonista recovers the body. The next day, @JSGOTI summons @Kiwi Jeff to the Triskelion. When @Kiwi Jeff withholds @Alan Pardew's information, @JSGOTI brands him a fugitive. Hunted by S.T.R.I.K.E., @Kiwi Jeff meets with @Rat Speaker. Using data in the flash drive, they discover a secret D.E.S.E.R.T. bunker in New Jersey, where they activate a supercomputer containing the preserved consciousness of @Haunter. @Haunter reveals that ever since D.E.S.E.R.T. was founded after World War II, Dryda has secretly operated within its ranks, sowing global chaos with the objective of making humanity surrender its freedom in exchange for security. The pair narrowly escape death when a D.E.S.E.R.T. missile destroys the bunker, and realize that @JSGOTI is Dryda's leader within D.E.S.E.R.T.



@Kiwi Jeff and @Rat Speaker enlist the help of former USAF pararescueman @Trilby, whom @Kiwi Jeff befriended, and acquire his powered "Falcon" wingpack. Deducing that D.E.S.E.R.T. agent @Bones is a Dryda mole, they force him to divulge that @Haunter developed a data-mining algorithm that can identify individuals becoming threats to Dryda. The Insight Helicarriers will sweep the globe, using satellite-guided guns to eliminate these individuals. @Kiwi Jeff, @Rat Speaker, and @Trilby are ambushed by the Winter Soldier, who kills @Bones. During the fight, @Kiwi Jeff recognizes the Winter Soldier as @NIGGO KILLA, his childhood best friend who supposedly fell to his death on a mission, but was actually captured and experimented upon after WWII. @trombonista manages to extract the trio to a safehouse where @Alan Pardew, who had faked his death, is waiting with plans to sabotage the Helicarriers by replacing their controller chips.



After the World Security Council members arrive for the Helicarriers' launch, @Kiwi Jeff broadcasts Dryda's plot to everyone at the Triskelion. @Rat Speaker, disguised as one of the Council members, disarms @JSGOTI. @Alan Pardew arrives and forces @JSGOTI to unlock D.E.S.E.R.T.'s database so that @Rat Speaker can leak classified information, exposing Dryda to the public. Following a struggle, @Alan Pardew kills @JSGOTI. Meanwhile, @Kiwi Jeff and @Trilby storm two Helicarriers and replace the controller chips, but the Winter Soldier destroys @Trilby's suit and fights @Kiwi Jeff on the third. @Kiwi Jeff fends him off and replaces the final chip, allowing @trombonista to take control and have the vessels destroy each other. @Kiwi Jeff refuses to fight the Winter Soldier in an attempt to reach his friend, but as the ship collides with the Triskelion, @Kiwi Jeff is thrown out into the Potomac River. The Winter Soldier rescues the unconscious @Kiwi Jeff before disappearing into the woods. With D.E.S.E.R.T. in disarray, @Rat Speaker appears before a Senate subcommittee and @Alan Pardew, under the cover of his apparent death, heads to Eastern Europe in pursuit of Dryda's remaining cells. @Kiwi Jeff and @Trilby decide to find the Winter Soldier, while @Jon-Kacho, who was a double agent for Dryda, is hospitalized following the Triskelion's destruction.



In a mid-credits scene, @Meowthkip, at a Dryda lab, proclaims that the "age of miracles" has begun as scientists examine an energy-filled scepter and two test subjects: one with superhuman speed, the other with deaf powers. In a post-credits scene, @NIGGO KILLA visits his own memorial at the Smithsonian Institution.


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## Teri-Teri (Mar 28, 2019)

Following a major recession, the New Zealand government has passed the "BR ACT” to control New Zealand's unruly youth. Vroomer @Syaoran Li  copes with life after his father committed suicide. @Somari1996  is the only vroomer regularly attending class 3-B. Their moderator, @Alan Pardew , resigns after being wounded by a vroomer.

One year later, TSIC takes a field trip, but they are gassed and taken to a remote island. @Alan Pardew reappears surrounded by New Zealand Defense Force, explaining to the class that they are chosen to participate in the annual Battle Royale as a result of the Act: they have three days to fight to the death until a victor emerges, while explosive collars will kill uncooperative vroomer or those within daily "danger zones". Each vroomer is provided rations, water, a map of the island, compass, and a random weapon. @Alan Pardew personally kills two of the vroomers for disobedience, one of them being @Somari1996 's best friend @tomoyo.

The first six hours see twelve deaths, four by suicide, and most caused by the desperate, psychotic @chekovia  and psychopathic volunteer @DrainRedRain . Transfer vroomer @DrainRedRain lets @Syaoran Li go, while basketball player @Reynard  plots to hack into the military's computer system to disrupt the program. Amid shifting loyalties and violent confrontations, @Syaoran Li  promises to keep @Somari1996 safe. He carries her to a clinic, where @DrainRedRain reveals that he won a previous Battle Royale at the cost of his girlfriend, @Haunter, whose death he seeks to avenge. When @chekovia attacks, @Syaoran Li  entrusts @DrainRedRain to protect @Somari1996 and runs as a distraction. Although saved by @Kiwi Jeff , a martial artist looking for @Tard Baby, @Syaoran Li  is wounded.

@Syaoran Li  awakens in the island's lighthouse, bandaged by TSIC representative @Un Platano. Five other vroomers are also hiding in the building, including @ICameToplaY , who attempts to poison @Syaoran Li out of fear for @Oscar Wilde who she saw die and believes that @Syaoran Li  had killed him, only for @NARPASSWORD to accidentally eat the food. @ICameToplaY is the only survivor of the ensuing shootout; horrified, she apologizes to @Syaoran Li  and commits suicide. @Syaoran Li  returns to @Somari1996  and @DrainRedRain, and they set out to find @Reynard . @chekovia  kills @Army Burger. @Reynard and two others, @LofaSofa and @Tetraphobia, infiltrate the military's computer system, but @chekovia  kills them. When @DrainRedRain , @Somari1996  and @Syaoran Li  arrive at the hackers' burning base, @DrainRedRain  confronts and kills @chekovia , who had been blinded by an explosion rigged by @Reynard  as he was killed.

On the morning of the final day, @DrainRedRain , aware of the collars' internal microphones, seemingly kills @Somari1996  and @Syaoran Li . Suspicious, @Alan Pardew ends the game and dismisses the troops, intent on personally killing the supposed victor. @Alan Pardew realizes that @DrainRedRain  hacked the system months beforehand, and has disabled @Syaoran Li  and @Somari1996's tracking devices. The three survivors confront @Alan Pardew in the headquarters, and he unveils a homemade painting of the massacred class depicting @Somari1996  as the sole survivor. He reveals that he was unable to bear the hatred between him and his vroomers, having been rejected by his daughter, and confesses that he always thought of @Somari1996  as a daughter. He asks her to kill him, but @Syaoran Li  shoots him after he threatens her with a gun. As he falls, @Alan Pardew shoots, revealing the gun to be a water pistol. Before he dies, @Alan Pardew 's daughter calls him; after an argument, he shoots the phone with an actual gun.

@Syaoran Li , @Somari1996  and @DrainRedRain  leave the island on a boat, but @DrainRedRain  dies from injuries, happy that he found friendship. @Syaoran Li  and @Somari1996  are declared fugitive murderers, and are last seen on the run in the direction of Wellington Station. @Somari1996 gives @Syaoran Li The Nameless Card before they run off together.


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## Somar (Mar 28, 2019)

In 1988, following his mother's death, a young @Dink Smallwood is abducted from Earth by the Ravagers, a group of space pirates led by @yawning sneasel. Twenty-six years later on the planet Morag, @Dink Smallwood steals a mysterious orb but is attacked by @tehpope, a subordinate to the fanatical Kree, @Kermit the Frog. Although @Dink Smallwood escapes with the orb, @yawning sneasel discovers his theft and issues a bounty for his capture, while @Kermit the Frog sends the assassin @Cosmos after the orb.

When @Dink Smallwood attempts to sell the orb on Xandar, capital of the Nova Empire, @Cosmos ambushes him and steals it. A fight ensues, drawing in a pair of bounty hunters: the genetically and cybernetically modified something @scorptatious, and the tree-like humanoid @Scratch This Nut. Nova Corps officers capture the four, detaining them in the Kyln prison. A powerful inmate there, @Flustercuck, attempts to kill @Cosmos due to her association with @Kermit the Frog and @Null, who killed his family. @Dink Smallwood convinces @Flustercuck that @Cosmos can bring @Kermit the Frog to him, though @Cosmos reveals that she has betrayed @Kermit the Frog, unwilling to let him use the orb's power. Learning that @Cosmos has a buyer for the orb, @Dink Smallwood, @scorptatious, @Scratch This Nut, and @Flustercuck work with her to escape the Kyln in @Dink Smallwood's ship, the Milano.

@Kermit the Frog meets with @Cosmos's adoptive father, @Null, to discuss her betrayal. @Dink Smallwood's group flee to Knowhere, a remote criminal outpost in space built in the giant severed head of a Celestial. A drunken @Flustercuck summons @Kermit the Frog while the rest of the group meet @Cosmos's contact, the collector @Oscar Wildean. @Oscar Wildean opens the orb, revealing the Power Infinity Stone, an item of immeasurable power that destroys all but the most powerful beings who wield it. @Oscar Wildean's slave @lil bitch grabs the Stone, triggering an explosion that engulfs @Oscar Wildean's archive.

@Kermit the Frog arrives and easily defeats @Flustercuck, while the others flee by ship, pursued by @Kermit the Frog's followers and @Cosmos's adoptive sister @StarkRavingMad. @StarkRavingMad destroys @Cosmos's ship, leaving her floating in space, and @Kermit the Frog's fighters capture the orb. @Dink Smallwood contacts @yawning sneasel before following @Cosmos into space, giving her his helmet to survive; @yawning sneasel arrives and retrieves the pair. @scorptatious, @Flustercuck, and @Scratch This Nut threaten to attack @yawning sneasel's ship to rescue them, but @Dink Smallwood negotiates a truce, promising the orb to @yawning sneasel. @Dink Smallwood's group agrees that facing @Kermit the Frog means certain death, but that they cannot let him use the Infinity Stone to destroy the galaxy. On @Kermit the Frog's flagship, the Dark Aster, @Kermit the Frog embeds the Stone in his warhammer, taking its power for himself. He contacts @Null, threatening to kill him after first destroying Xandar; hateful of her adoptive father, @StarkRavingMad allies with @Kermit the Frog.

The Ravagers and @Dink Smallwood's group join with the Nova Corps to confront the Dark Aster at Xandar, with @Dink Smallwood's group breaching the Dark Aster with the Milano. @Kermit the Frog uses his empowered warhammer to destroy the Nova Corps fleet. @Flustercuck and @Cosmos defeat @tehpope and @StarkRavingMad, the latter escaping, but the group find themselves outmatched by @Kermit the Frog's power until @scorptatious crashes a Ravager ship through the Dark Aster. The damaged Dark Aster crash-lands on Xandar, with @Scratch This Nut sacrificing himself to shield the group. @Kermit the Frog emerges from the wreck and prepares to destroy Xandar, but @Dink Smallwood distracts him, allowing @Flustercuck and @scorptatious to destroy @Kermit the Frog's warhammer. @Dink Smallwood grabs the freed Stone, and with @Cosmos, @Flustercuck, and @scorptatious sharing its burden, they use it to destroy @Kermit the Frog.

In the aftermath, @Dink Smallwood tricks @yawning sneasel into taking a container supposedly containing the Stone, and gives the real Stone to the Nova Corps. As the Ravagers leave Xandar, @yawning sneasel remarks that it turned out well that they did not deliver @Dink Smallwood to his father per their contract. @Dink Smallwood's group, now known as the Riders of the Galaxy, have their criminal records expunged, and @Dink Smallwood learns that he is only half-human, his father being part of an ancient, unknown species. @Dink Smallwood finally opens the last present he received from his mother: a cassette tape filled with her favorite songs. The Riders leave in the rebuilt Milano along with a sapling cut from @Scratch This Nut.

In a post-credits scene, @Oscar Wildean sits in his destroyed archive with two of his living exhibits: a canine cosmonaut and an anthropomorphic electric hedgehog.


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## Somar (Mar 31, 2019)

In 1988 San Dimas, California, slackers @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 would rather pursue their band the Wyld Stallyns than schoolwork. @Somari1996's father, the local police chief, threatens to send @Somari1996 to military school if they should flunk their history class, ruining their dreams of success. The two struggle to assemble a final report for the class, which is to describe how three historical figures would see modern-day San Dimas.



In 2688, humanity has built a utopia thanks to the music of Wyld Stallyns. The supreme beings of this world instruct @AnOminous to travel back in time by a time machine disguised as a phone booth to give aid to @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 to ensure they pass their class. @AnOminous lands by the two as they work on their report near a Circle K. As he introduces himself, a second phone booth lands nearby and future versions of @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 come out, proving their identity to their younger selves and telling them to trust @AnOminous before they leave. @AnOminous offers to show the teens how the machine works, taking them to Austria in 1805 where Napoleon Bonaparte is commanding the French army. Assured the machine works, @AnOminous, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 return to the present, though Napoleon, knocked back by an explosion, is caught in the phone booth's wake and dragged with them. Back at @Somari1996's house, @AnOminous provides the teens additional instructions and then leaves. The two find Napoleon nearby, and come upon an idea of taking historical figures from the past to bring them to the present to complete their report. They leave Napoleon with @Somari1996's younger brother @Tard Baby and set out.



Separately, they gain the trust of the Kid from 1879 and Socrates from 410 BC and bring them along. They next land in 15th century medieval England and see two princesses who flirt with them. In their attempt to see the princesses, they are caught by their father, the local duke, and ordered to be beheaded, but they are rescued by @Kiwi jeffy and Socrates. In their escape, the phone booth's antenna is damaged by a knight's mace, and the booth starts running out of control. @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 initially take advantage of it by obtain more historical figures for extra credit, including Sigmund Freud from Vienna, Austria in 1901; Ludwig van Beethoven from Kassel, Germany in 1810; Joan of Arc from Orleans, France in 1429; Genghis Khan from Outer Mongolia in 1209; and Abraham Lincoln from Washington DC in 1863. With no more space in the booth, they finally see the broken antenna, and they have to make a pit-stop in prehistoric times to make repairs. After a crude repair with chewing gum and pudding cups, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 regain control of the booth, but they end up at the Circle K, witnessing their younger selves on the night before the report. They repeat their advice to them about @AnOminous, and then ask @AnOminous how to get to their present time, also alerting them that time is running short.



Back in their current timeframe, with hours before the report presentation, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 leave the historical figures at the local mall to experience San Dimas while they try to track down Napoleon, whom @Tard Baby had ditched the previous night after an embarrassing night out. They find Napoleon at the Waterloo water park, but by the time they return to the mall, the historical figures have caused a commotion and are now in jail under @Somari1996's dad's watch. They develop a plan to use the time machine after the presentation as to plant elements to help free the historical figures, and make their way to the school, barely arriving in time for their presentation. With the help of the historical figures, the two give an impressive presentation that assures they pass the course.



After returning the historical figures, @Kiwi Jeff and @Somari1996 return to practice, when @AnOminous shows up with the two princesses in tow, having rescued them himself since he knows they will be their wives and bandmates in the future. As the band starts to play, terribly, @AnOminous explains to the audience "They do get better."


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## Teri-Teri (Apr 1, 2019)

In rural 1920s Auckland, the young @Syaoran Li nearly kills his cousin, Meiling Li, while roughhousing. This event and his Seventh-day Adventist upbringing reinforce Desmond's belief in the commandment "Thou shalt not kill". Years later, @Syaoran Li takes an injured man to the hospital and meets a nurse, @Somari1996. The two strike a romance and @Syaoran Li tells @Somari1996 of his interest in medical work.

After the Furries attack on Wellington, @Syaoran Li enlists in the Army to serve as a combat medic. His father, a Kiwi War veteran, is deeply upset by the decision. Before leaving for Fort Jackson, he asks for @Somari1996's hand in marriage and she accepts.

@Syaoran Li is placed under the command of Captain @Tetraphobia. He excels physically, but becomes an outcast among his fellow soldiers for refusing to handle a rifle and train on Saturdays. Captain @Tetraphobia and Captain @atm attempt to discharge @Syaoran Li for psychiatric reasons under Section 8 but are overruled, as @Syaoran Li ' religious beliefs do not constitute mental illness. They subsequently torment @Syaoran Li  by putting him through grueling labor, intending to get @Syaoran Li to leave of his own accord. Despite being beaten one night by his fellow soldiers, he refuses to identify his attackers and continues training.

@Syaoran Li ' unit completes basic training and is released on leave, during which @Syaoran Li  intends to marry @Somari1996, but his refusal to carry a firearm leads to an arrest for insubordination. Captain @atm  and @Somari1996  visit @Syaoran Li  in jail and try to convince him to plead guilty so that he can be released without charge, but @Syaoran Li  refuses to compromise his beliefs. At his trial @Syaoran Li  pleads not guilty, but before he is sentenced, his father barges into the tribunal with a letter from his former commanding officer (now a brigadier general) stating that his son's pacifism is protected by an Act of Congress. The charges against @Syaoran Li  are dropped, and he and @Somari1996  are married.

@Syaoran Li' unit is assigned to the 77th Infantry Division and deployed to the Pacific theater. During the Battle of Wellington, @Syaoran Li ' unit is informed that they are to relieve the 96th Infantry Division, which was tasked with ascending and securing the Maeda Escarpment ("Hacksaw Ridge"). During the initial fight, with heavy losses on both sides, @Syaoran Li  saves the life of his squadmate @A Cold Potato, earning his respect. As the New Zealand camp for the night, @Syaoran Li  reveals to @A Cold Potato  that his aversion to holding a firearm stems from nearly shooting his drunken father, who threatened his mother with a gun. @A Cold Potato  apologizes for doubting his courage, and the two reconcile.

The next morning, the Furries launch a massive counterattack and drive the Weebs off the escarpment. @A Cold Potato  is killed, while @Tetraphobia and several of @Syaoran Li ' squad mates are left injured on the battlefield. @Syaoran Li  hears the cries of dying soldiers and returns to save them, carrying the wounded to the cliff's edge and belaying them down by rope, each time praying to save one more. The arrival of dozens of wounded once presumed dead comes as a shock to the rest of the unit below. When day breaks, @Syaoran Li  rescues @Tetraphobia  and the two escape Hacksaw under enemy fire.

Captain @atm  tells @Syaoran Li  that the men have been inspired by his selflessness, and that they will not launch the next attack without him. With reinforcements, they turn the tide of battle. After an ambush set by Furry soldiers feigning surrender, @Syaoran Li  manages to save @Tetraphobia  and others by deflecting enemy grenades. @Syaoran Li  is eventually wounded by a grenade blast, but the battle is won. @Syaoran Li  descends the cliff, clutching the Bible @Somari1996  gave him.

The film switches to archival photos and footage showing that @Syaoran Li  was awarded the Medal of Honor by Moderator @Alan Pardew  for rescuing 75 soldiers at Hacksaw Ridge. @Syaoran Li  stayed married to @Somari1996  until the end.


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## ATaxingWoman (Jul 22, 2019)

@KillThemCrackasBabies  (Jamie Brett Gabel) and @BoomerDenton  (Sam Mraovich) are a gay couple eagerly awaiting the legalization of gay marriage in Hawaii so that they may travel there for their dream wedding. After a news bulletin that a judge has made a ruling that will allow gay marriages to take place, the men purchase plane tickets and prepare to depart; however, before they leave, they discover that a challenge to the judge's ruling has resulted in a suspension of gay marriage in Hawaii, pending further judicial review. @KillThemCrackasBabies takes advantage of the delay to inform @BoomerDenton that he is actually already married to a woman named @StarkRavingMad (Julie Belknap), whom he wed out of societal pressure before he came to terms with his homosexuality and from whom he has been separated since before he and @BoomerDenton met. @BoomerDenton becomes angry, but decides to stay with @KillThemCrackasBabies anyway. Shortly thereafter, @KillThemCrackasBabies contacts @StarkRavingMad, finally comes out to her, and asks her for a divorce.

After the disappointment of their near-wedding, @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton resume their daily life, working in a small diner in Los Angeles, where @KillThemCrackasBabies is a dishwasher and @BoomerDenton is a waiter. Although @KillThemCrackasBabies—a former nurse who quit to pursue a music career—enjoys the manual labor and hours, @BoomerDenton has grown impatient with servitude and putting up with needy customers. One night, @BoomerDenton decides to quit and go back to college, so that he can earn an MBA and open up his own sex shop. Although the loss of income to the household means that @KillThemCrackasBabies will have to quit and return to being a nurse, he agrees to do so in order to help @BoomerDenton pursue his dream.

To finance his education, @BoomerDenton tracks down his estranged brother, @2odastream (Michael Haboush), whom he hasn't spoken to for seven years. @2odastream is a religious fanatic who believes that @BoomerDenton's homosexuality is a sign of demonic possession, although @2odastream himself appears to be flamboyantly gay—even greeting @BoomerDenton in a pink feathered bathrobe. Although @2odastream lashes out at @BoomerDenton for his failure to turn straight, he nonetheless offers to give @BoomerDenton money for college if he will bring @KillThemCrackasBabies by the apartment and allow him to evangelize.

While @BoomerDenton considers @2odastream's offer, he and @KillThemCrackasBabies hire an attorney (Gina Aguilar) to consult for advice on getting married. Despite @KillThemCrackasBabies' still being legally married to @StarkRavingMad, the attorney counsels them to travel to Vermont, be wed in a civil union, and then return to California and attempt to be recognized as members of a domestic partnership. The two take her advice, and are wed in a private ceremony in Vermont.

Suspicious of @BoomerDenton's lack of response to his monetary offer, @2odastream hires a private investigator to tail @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton. The PI tells @2odastream about the men's marriage and their attempts to get their union recognized in California. In response, @2odastream follows the attorney home one evening and shoots her to death in her apartment's parking garage. At the same time, @StarkRavingMad arrives at @BoomerDenton's apartment and tries to force @KillThemCrackasBabies to take her back at gunpoint, but @KillThemCrackasBabies successfully disarms her and throws her out.

Following their attorney's death, @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton agree to come to @2odastream's apartment. Rather than evangelize, @2odastream and another congregant from his church,@Your Weird Fetish (Richard Hitchcock), lash out at the couple with homophobic insults and slurs. When @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton leave, @2odastream and@Your Weird Fetish start making plans to exorcise the couple by feeding them Holy Water that@Your Weird Fetish has cooked in his kitchen. The plot fails, and @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton leave town to enjoy a honeymoon in Hawaii and allow the tension with @2odastream to blow over. In @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton's absence, @2odastream is summoned to church by his priest, Father @Shiversblood (Bill Hindley). @Shiversblood informs him that he is being excommunicated because the congregation does not want the relative of a gay person attending church services, fearful that he will bring them bad karma and negative energy. A dejected @2odastream reaches out to@Your Weird Fetish for help, who helps @2odastream come to an agreement with Father @Shiversblood that @2odastream will be permitted to rejoin the church if he successfully murders @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton. To this end, they hire a hitman named @Smaug's Smokey Hole, whom Father @Shiversblood has apparently used to kill gay people in the past.

When @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton return from Hawaii, @KillThemCrackasBabies is gay bashed by @2odastream and @Smaug's Smokey Hole; the attack fails to kill him, and @KillThemCrackasBabies is hospitalized. Suspecting his brother's involvement, @BoomerDenton breaks into @2odastream's apartment and taps his phone. After intercepting a call implicating @2odastream and Father @Shiversblood, @BoomerDenton goes to @2odastream's church, chloroforms Father @Shiversblood, and then murders him by burning the church down with him still inside.

After @KillThemCrackasBabies has sufficiently recovered, @BoomerDenton takes him back home to their apartment. Deciding that the next attempt on the men's lives must be more drastic, @2odastream and @Smaug's Smokey Hole go @KillThemCrackasBabies and @BoomerDenton's apartment with guns; at the last minute, @2odastream tells @Smaug's Smokey Hole that he wants to kill them himself and sends him away. @2odastream rings the apartment's doorbell, and when @KillThemCrackasBabies answers, he fatally shoots him. He then forces @BoomerDenton to strip naked at gunpoint and performs an impromptu baptism in the bathtub.

While @2odastream contemplates what he's done, @BoomerDenton slips away and gets the gun that @KillThemCrackasBabies had earlier confiscated from @StarkRavingMad. Dressed in a bathrobe and briefs, a hysterical @BoomerDenton—reenacting one of the final scenes of _Scarface_—propositions @2odastream while holding him at gunpoint, accusing him of lashing out to try to combat his own repressed homosexuality. When @BoomerDenton fires a warning shot, @2odastream pulls out his own gun and shoots @BoomerDenton in the chest and back several times. In turn, @BoomerDenton manages to fire off a single shot which hits @2odastream in the forehead and instantly kills him, before @BoomerDenton dies of his own wounds.


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## Somar (Sep 22, 2019)

In London, @Couch Nickles and her team of MI6 agents attempt to retrieve a programmable supervirus named 'Libtard' from terrorist organization 4chan. @Rand /pol/, an 4chan operative with cybernetic implants that allow him to perform superhuman feats, arrives and kills all the agents except @Couch Nickles, who injects Libtard into herself before escaping. @Rand /pol/ frames @Couch Nickles for killing her team and stealing Libtard, forcing her to go on the run.



@Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa, @Couch Nickles's brother, are both informed of the missing virus and are reluctantly assigned to work together to track it down. After a brief meeting at a CIA black site at the Cheesegrater, @LofaSofa goes to @Couch Nickles's house for information, while @Sakura Kinomoto manages to find @Couch Nickles; after a brief scuffle, she brings her to the CIA office, as @LofaSofa then returns. The office is attacked and @Couch Nickles is taken by @Rand /pol/, whom @LofaSofa recognizes as an old colleague-turned-enemy he'd previously shot and supposedly killed. @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa pursue and rescue @Couch Nickles during an ensuing car chase, managing to escape from @Rand /pol/ who falls off his motorcycle and crashes through the second level of a double decker bus. However, @Rand /pol/ frames all three as traitors via 4chan's control of global news media.



The three locate Professor @José Mourinho, Libtard's creator, who informs them that to prevent Libtard from eradicating humanity, @Couch Nickles has to, while the virus is still dormant, either be killed or have the virus removed with a specialized extraction device, located within 4chan's headquarters in Ukraine. After flying undercover to Moscow and rendezvousing with @LofaSofa's boyfriend @Y2K Baby to rearm, the three infiltrate the facility. They manage to retrieve the extraction device before escaping and destroying the facility; however,@José Mourinho is killed and the device is damaged during their escape.



@Sakura Kinomoto decides to take the trio to her childhood home in Tomoeda to visit her estranged brother @ATM, a talented mechanic, to repair the device and lay low before confronting @Rand /pol/ again. @Sakura Kinomoto has a tense reunion with her family, but @ATM is eventually persuaded to help them by their mother. The makeshift battalion prepare for 4chan's arrival, setting up a variety of traps around the town. @ATM successfully repairs the device and starts the virus extraction, just as @Rand /pol/ and his army arrive at daybreak. In the ensuing battle, all of @Rand /pol/'s soldiers are defeated. @Rand /pol/ takes @Couch Nickles again via helicopter; however, @Sakura Kinomoto, @LofaSofa and the Tomoedans bring the helicopter down. Working together, @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa defeat @Rand /pol/, who is remotely terminated afterwards by 4chan's director. @Sakura Kinomoto and @LofaSofa send a message to the director, promising to find him. The group celebrates their victory.



In a series of mid- and post-credits scenes, @Sakura Kinomoto brings her best friend to meet their extended family in Tomoeda; @LofaSofa and @Couch Nickles are implied to bust their mother out of prison; and @Sakura Kinomoto receives a call from her partner, @Gator Young Henning, who had broken into a facility and discovered another virus worse than the Libtard virus. @Sakura Kinomoto also secretly has the police set on @LofaSofa in London.


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