# No Context Game Endings



## NQ 952 (Sep 29, 2016)

8 year old retires, lawnmowers rejoice.


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## alex_theman (Sep 29, 2016)

Girl destroys robot, robot puts girl in cryo.


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## Wallace (Sep 30, 2016)

LordKaT said:


> 8 year old retires, lawnmowers rejoice.



Paperboy



alex_theman said:


> Girl destroys robot, robot puts girl in cryo.



Portal.


You accumulate mistakes until you are crushed by them.


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## RP 520 (Sep 30, 2016)

A guy catches on fire and the whole structure is engulfed in flames.


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## DumbDosh (Sep 30, 2016)

Your brother dies of a cold.

You slash your adoptive dad with a katana in the middle of New York.

You shoot your adoptive mom in the face.

Your dad who is also your brother dies of a cold.

You're not your BFF but you are.


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## Abby (Sep 30, 2016)

Wallace said:


> You accumulate mistakes until you are crushed by them.



Tetris?

The student gets the girl and his school flies off into the horizon.


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## Anchuent Christory (Sep 30, 2016)

Shaftie said:


> Your brother dies of a cold.
> 
> You slash your adoptive dad with a katana in the middle of New York.
> 
> ...



SNAAAAAAAKE!!!




There's nothing on tv now and your little cousin dies in hospital so you just go home.


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## DumbDosh (Sep 30, 2016)

A demon gives you a baby girl.

You drive you and your wife's corpse into a lake.

You leave the amusement park with an old man you recently met.

Your girlfriend has to find a new apartment.


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## Damocles_Sword (Sep 30, 2016)

Abby said:


> Tetris?
> 
> The student gets the girl and his school flies off into the horizon.



Final Fantasy 8

New York gets fucked and you are your own alien sister thanks to organ donation.


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## IceGray (Oct 4, 2016)

You contain the world's end in a particular spot and you're stripped of your former rank and superpowers for a while.


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Oct 4, 2016)

You decide to be a better dad than your original Randian capitalist and mobster fathers as you run off with a horde of little girls.


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## Petronella (Oct 4, 2016)

Shaftie said:


> A demon gives you a baby girl.
> 
> You drive you and your wife's corpse into a lake.
> 
> ...


Silent Hill 1, 2, 3, and 4. 



Hypodermic Johnny said:


> You decide to be a better dad than your original Randian capitalist and mobster fathers as you run off with a horde of little girls.


BioShock.

You find out the girl you love was running away from you the whole time. Then she explodes.


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## SP 199 (Oct 4, 2016)

You set yourself on fire because a giant snake tells you to


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## Bogs (Oct 4, 2016)

After accumulating only seven friends, you decide to leave on a flying dog


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## DumbDosh (Oct 4, 2016)

Petronella said:


> You find out the girl you love was running away from you the whole time. Then she explodes.



Braid.

You shoot the black man who killed your babysitter and took you away from your house. 

An annoying ass blonde asks you out while you're both jetskiing and you shut her down.


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## BadaBadaBoom (Oct 4, 2016)

You break into a spazzy musical number about arms, testicle trauma, and slicing off heads.

The sun welcomes you to join its family and allows you to have sex with your new anime wife.


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## Petronella (Oct 4, 2016)

BadaBadaBoom said:


> The sun welcomes you to join its family and allows you to have sex with your new anime wife.


Okami? Not totally sure.

You get attacked by a girl squad. Then you wake up to find you're a father.


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## Ravenor (Oct 4, 2016)

Join, DIE, Join, DIE... TEAR OURSELFS APART!


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## r00 (Oct 4, 2016)

Your brother catches up with you, and your parents scold you for running away. Then you go and enjoy the rides.


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## IceGray (Oct 5, 2016)

^ Monkey Island 2?

You save your ex-captain from a plague by waking him up inside from his infected form.


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## Petronella (Oct 5, 2016)

Psychic worms ask a soldier to help them figure out their antivirus software.


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## NailsOnAChalkboard (Oct 5, 2016)

You're forced to choose between your girlfriend or this freaky, trippy half-naked tribal chick you've just met


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## RG 448 (Oct 5, 2016)

Farcry 3.

You save the human race but are stranded in two chairs at once at the bottom of the ocean.


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## DumbDosh (Oct 6, 2016)

Petronella said:


> Psychic worms ask a soldier to help them figure out their antivirus software.



Psychonauts?



testaclesemaximus said:


> Farcry 3.
> 
> You save the human race but are stranded in two chairs at once at the bottom of the ocean.



SOMA?


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## admiral (Oct 6, 2016)

You travel a series of samey dungeons and caverns, defeating hordes of monsters with your anger issues.


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## Darwin Watterson (Oct 6, 2016)

You travel back in time to leave your best friend to die, making most of what you've done throughout the game pointless.


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## Damocles_Sword (Oct 7, 2016)

admiral said:


> You travel a series of samey dungeons and caverns, defeating hordes of monsters with your anger issues.


Any Final Fantasy after 9?

You murder your son and all his friends.


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## RG 448 (Oct 7, 2016)

Darwin Watterson said:


> You travel back in time to leave your best friend to die, making most of what you've done throughout the game pointless.


Is that Life Is Strange?


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## StarvingAutist (Oct 7, 2016)

Old schizophrenic man and creepy Chinese necromancer kill each other, then destroy the Earth, then do it again 100 years later.

Also your butler was a zombie terrorist.


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## Darwin Watterson (Oct 7, 2016)

testaclesemaximus said:


> Is that Life Is Strange?


Yes


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## DragoonSierra (Oct 7, 2016)

You kill some gods but you die leaving your child behind.

You beat the bad guy but are stuck on the moon.

You defeat Earths military forces single-handedly but your own people turn on you then you beat them too.



Damocles_Sword said:


> New York gets fucked and you are your own alien sister thanks to organ donation.


Parasite Eve.



Petronella said:


> Psychic worms ask a soldier to help them figure out their antivirus software.


RE4?



Darwin Watterson said:


> You travel back in time to leave your best friend to die, making most of what you've done throughout the game pointless.


Heroes Season 2?


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## Petronella (Oct 7, 2016)

Shaftie said:


> Psychonauts





DragoonSierra said:


> RE4?


System Shock 2 :p

Turns out your friend wasn't really depressed, you were just reading way too much into his indie games. Also lamps.


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## DumbDosh (Oct 7, 2016)

Petronella said:


> System Shock 2 :p
> 
> Turns out your friend wasn't really depressed, you were just reading way too much into his indie games. Also lamps.



The Beginner's Guide.


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## DumbDosh (Oct 7, 2016)

StarvingAutist said:


> Old schizophrenic man and creepy Chinese necromancer kill each other, then destroy the Earth, then do it again 100 years later.
> 
> Also your butler was a zombie terrorist.



Killer 7?




DragoonSierra said:


> You beat the bad guy but are stuck on the moon.



Megaman Legends 2.


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## StarvingAutist (Oct 7, 2016)

Shaftie said:


> Killer 7?



No, Barbie Horse Adventures. 

Of course it's killer7. That's just scratching the surface of the ending


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## POWER IN MISERY (Oct 7, 2016)

you are stuck in a dream reliving the moments of your guilt


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## Overcast (Oct 8, 2016)

You wake up, get shot and stabbed by some angry gentlemen, you turn into the devil, you get sucked up into a pool, and then become a baby for your girlfriend to adopt.


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## Overchek (Oct 8, 2016)

scorptatious said:


> You wake up, get shot and stabbed by some angry gentlemen, you turn into the devil, you get sucked up into a pool, and then become a baby for your girlfriend to adopt.


Shadow of the Colossus

You merge with a vast, god-like organic computer and fly into the sun.


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## Count groudon (Oct 8, 2016)

A 10 year old and his bunch of pets defeat the national champions of the worlds greatest sport after swiftly defeating a criminal organization moments before.


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## Dunsparce (Oct 8, 2016)

Your girlfriend was actually the clone of a princess with a nasty tick problem, the tick problem is solved via the power of music. Your girlfriend then starts wandering around Tokyo looking for you.


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## Fallensaint (Oct 8, 2016)

Count groudon said:


> A 10 year old and his bunch of pets defeat the national champions of the worlds greatest sport after swiftly defeating a criminal organization moments before.



Well ok, pokemon.

Win the girl after epic fight and then shoot her because she won't shut up.


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## Fallensaint (Oct 8, 2016)

Overchek said:


> Shadow of the Colossus
> 
> *You merge with a vast, god-like organic computer and fly into the sun*.



Deus Ex Icarus reference?


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## OtterParty (Oct 8, 2016)

Fallensaint said:


> Well ok, pokemon.
> 
> Win the girl after epic fight and then shoot her because she won't shut up.


GTA 3.

Experience the wonders of Take Your Daughter To Work Day across multiple generations, then punch God from the end of the solar system into the sun.


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## Overchek (Oct 8, 2016)

Fallensaint said:


> Deus Ex Icarus reference?


I'm afraid not. The correct answer is *Prey *(the 2006 one).


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## Cable 7 (Oct 9, 2016)

IT WAS ALL A DREAM (but it wasn't as sad the first time)


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## lolwut (Oct 10, 2016)

You go grocery shopping, visit your local library, and have a touching moment at your dad's grave before going home to your loving wife and killing yourself.

You spend some quality time with your brother, chase a little girl around town, then eat your mom.


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## POWER IN MISERY (Oct 10, 2016)

lolwut said:


> You go grocery shopping, visit your local library, and have a touching moment at your dad's grave before going home to your loving wife and killing yourself.



postal 2 a very good game



you kill space donkey kong and you find out shit's about to go down at earth


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Dec 5, 2016)

Blow up the Hoover Dam you piece of shit mailman.

Drown your giant bird nanny! Drown your own father! Then give up your powers to drown an entire underwater city by setting a political revolution into motion because you just had to save one little girl FROM the one father you failed to drown!


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## Petronella (Dec 5, 2016)

Hypodermic Johnny said:


> Drown your giant bird nanny! Drown your own father! Then give up your powers to drown an entire underwater city by setting a political revolution into motion because you just had to save one little girl FROM the one father you failed to drown!


Bioshock Infinite and the Burial at Sea DLC

Thanks for helping us kill an evil goddess, here's a baby for your troubles.


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## AA 102 (Dec 5, 2016)

Save girl, can't do overtime.


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## Null (Dec 5, 2016)

boy recreates Excalibur with old man's face


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## c-no (Dec 5, 2016)

A dragon attacks the town you start off in and you are the only one that can stop him later on.

Demons attack earth and you are the only guy in one country that can stop them with demons.

You go into a town as part of a missing person report and end up getting attacked by the locals.


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## Petronella (Dec 5, 2016)

c-no said:


> You go into a town as part of a missing person report and end up getting attacked by the locals.


We Happy Few?


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## c-no (Dec 5, 2016)

Petronella said:


> We Happy Few?


Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth. I actually wondered if adding in fish people would of made it easier.


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## Lucky Wildcard (Dec 5, 2016)

You destroy the giant sword stuck in the castle and save the world so wishes will thrive.


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## Bassomatic (Dec 5, 2016)

Lucky Wildcard said:


> You destroy the giant sword stuck in the castle and save the world so wishes will thrive.


Super Mario RPG

You go back in time to preform an abortion


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## cappaint (Dec 5, 2016)

Bassomatic said:


> You go back in time to preform an abortion


Life is Strange?


Petronella said:


> Thanks for helping us kill an evil goddess, here's a baby for your troubles.


Silent Hill

Dragon gets impaled on the Tokyo Tower after getting shot down by a military jet


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## Bassomatic (Dec 5, 2016)

cappaint said:


> Life is Strange?


I had to google that and your reply would be fitting but not what I was thinking of.


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## c-no (Dec 5, 2016)

cappaint said:


> Dragon gets impaled on the Tokyo Tower after getting shot down by a military jet


Nier?

Through your eyes, you go on an adventure where your foot can be your deadliest weapon.


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## cappaint (Dec 6, 2016)

c-no said:


> Nier?


 Drakengard but close enough.



> Through your eyes, you go on an adventure where your foot can be your deadliest weapon.


Dark Messiah of Might and Magic

God stops you from killing the final boss so you go home.


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## SpessCaptain (Dec 6, 2016)

A post-apoc sausage party - minus the buns.

Canadian wildlife and weather constantly try to kill you.

Huge patriots fuck up aliens in space.


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## c-no (Dec 6, 2016)

cappaint said:


> Dark Messiah of Might and Magic.


You deserve a gold star.



Valiant said:


> A post-apoc sausage party - minus the buns.


Lisa?

You killed an ex-god. Congrats, you get to rule the universe as gods.

Thanks for killing these robot pilots. Now the place people who live in these flying planes can be safe/destroyed/depleted of power so we can escape.

Thanks for finding the macguffin we needed to live. Now get the hell out of here.

Your final choice after killing people is either blowing yourself up or shooting yourself in the head. Thanks for visiting Africa by the way.


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## SpessCaptain (Dec 6, 2016)

c-no said:


> Lisa?


y


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## Save Goober (Dec 6, 2016)

LordKaT said:


> 8 year old retires, lawnmowers rejoice.


I can't believe no one guessed Ocarina of Time.


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## lolwut (Dec 6, 2016)

c-no said:


> Thanks for finding the macguffin we needed to live. Now get the hell out of here.
> 
> Your final choice after killing people is either blowing yourself up or shooting yourself in the head. Thanks for visiting Africa by the way.



Fallout and Farcry 2

You get framed for killing some cops, meet up with an adoring fan, and beat a man to death for having braces.

[E]Also, nobody got this one yet:


lolwut said:


> You spend some quality time with your brother, chase a little girl around town, then eat your mom.


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## Captain_Asshole (Dec 6, 2016)

You had a dream of your dead wife, but it was alright.


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## c-no (Dec 6, 2016)

lolwut said:


> Fallout and Farcry 2
> 
> You get framed for killing some cops, meet up with an adoring fan, and beat a man to death for having braces.
> 
> [E]Also, nobody got this one yet:


You get a gold star, especially with the second one. Also, Condemned: Criminal Origins


The commies have broken through the defense, now you might as well set off a bomb killing everyone.


You find out you are the dragonborn before Skyrim is out and you kill an asshole law enforcement agent that was part of an ancient conspiracy group.


Your mission is finally finished after a sort of mushroom cloud goes off in a city district. Unfortunately, your dead mother climbs into the chopper.


Now that you killed a man whose name was in Welsh, you either walked away or set yourself on fire.


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## Pop (Dec 6, 2016)

Dumping hair lotion in a hot tub among other things ends up making the USA a better ecosystem for Sasquatches and Bigfoot!!


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## BiggerJ (Dec 9, 2016)

Pop said:


> Dumping hair lotion in a hot tub among other things ends up making the USA a better ecosystem for Sasquatches and Bigfoot!!


Sam and Max Hit the Road.

The villains ascended to a higher dimension, all right - it's what happens when you die. You either convince them that life as we know it is worth living or agree to trigger the complete end of all individuality across all universes.

You become a monster, which, unbeknownst to everyone, was the ultimate purpose of everything that happened in the entire series.


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Dec 9, 2016)

Even the horrifying sentient tentacle virus you bio-bombed New York City with is sick of your shit.


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## TiggerNits (Dec 9, 2016)

Hypodermic Johnny said:


> Even the horrifying sentient tentacle virus you bio-bombed New York City with is sick of your shit.



Prototype 2?

- You're a special forces soldier in the middle of the American Southwest and your day keeps getting shittier and shittier thanks to some idiot nerd


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Dec 9, 2016)

TiggerNits said:


> Prototype 2?
> 
> - You're a special forces soldier in the middle of the American Southwest and your day keeps getting shittier and shittier thanks to some idiot nerd



Actually the first Prototype but to be honest based on what I've heard it could still apply to the second game. Alex Mercer is an edgy little shit.

...also I'm blanking out on anything but Fallout 2?


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## TiggerNits (Dec 9, 2016)

Hypodermic Johnny said:


> Actually the first Prototype but to be honest based on what I've heard it could still apply to the second game. Alex Mercer is an edgy little shit.
> 
> ...also I'm blanking out on anything but Fallout 2?


Half Life Opposing Force, but Fallout 2 fits


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## BiggerJ (Dec 10, 2016)

You break the record for the world's longest slow badass walk-away after the final battle.

The First Law of Robotics is a _bitch_.


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## Lurkman (Dec 10, 2016)

The cleaning crew came to rescue you at 6 AM


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## BiggerJ (Dec 11, 2016)

It was _both!_

You go home.

You show mercy, or don't.

The trauma she goes through explains why she's completely crazy in the next game.

You tell the authorities to go fuck themselves... by following another authority.

You let go.


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## GeorgeDaMoose (Dec 11, 2016)

Captain_Asshole said:


> You had a dream of your dead wife, but it was alright.


I'm annoyed that shit wasn't canon.
Max Payne 2


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## Nobody (Dec 12, 2016)

The curse of reincarnation between you and your true love has finally been put to rest after killing the false man-made "God", ultimately stopping this creature from gathering fully evolved biomass to revive itself to go off and destroy planets.

----

You float away on a giant building and continue a romantic relationship with a fellow classmate. The relationship goes as great, long-lasting, and happily ever after as any other 17 year old couple.

---

You're now pretty much the whinier version of the main character now, and there's nothing else to do except shoot a government official for doing his job.

---

You watch your fellow co-worker jump through a portal into a better video game, and you go back home unscathed with a pleasant ride in an SUV. You never forget the beer you owe your co-worker... among all of the other crazy shit you've seen happen that day.

--- 

You killed a big dragon in the middle of nowhere, and there's still nothing to do.

---

Congratulations! You've killed your fellow soldiers and you win PTSD!

---

Your waifu has turned into humanity's worst enemy now.

---

Your girlfriend goes into denial after you phase out of existence and die. So crazy, that she dedicates a lot of wasted resources, manpower, and years into reviving your dead ass from the afterlife.

---

You die after kinda saving the world. An evil corporation later programs a shitty video game out of your corpse.

---

You get sick and tired of playing stupid outdoor games with the neighborhood kids, so you just go the fuck back home.

---

You endanger your friends and escape a cursed island, learning absolutely nothing in preparation for the next adventure to endanger your friends.

---

The creators of the universe keep reincarnating you for centuries because some douchebag keeps breaking out of magic-prison and fucking shit up for everybody.

----------------------

(Have fun.)


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## TiggerNits (Dec 12, 2016)

Those are all Final Fantasy games, aren't they?


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## Captain_Asshole (Dec 12, 2016)

GeorgeDaMoose said:


> I'm annoyed that shit wasn't canon.
> Max Payne 2



Agreed, though the 3rd game was still one hell of a ride.


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## Pop (Dec 13, 2016)

You and your girlfriend are about to be eaten by cannibal natives, but thankfully you have a literal magic marker to draw a portal... that literally takes you out of the game and inside the game developer's studio where they are making games like you shoot movies!

You then get a job programming the games you were the protagonist of.


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## cappaint (Dec 13, 2016)

Nobody said:


> Congratulations! You've killed your fellow soldiers and you win PTSD!


Spec Ops The Line

-

You convince the final boss to kill himself to save the world so you don't have to.


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## DietCherry (Dec 16, 2016)

Fallout?

Turns out you weren't the king at all, just a depressed little kid and it was all your imagination, you fight some rats, you aren't lonely any more.


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## Captain_Asshole (Dec 16, 2016)

After blowing up your cousin's robot you finally become duke.


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## Overcast (Dec 16, 2016)

Pop said:


> You and your girlfriend are about to be eaten by cannibal natives, but thankfully you have a literal magic marker to draw a portal... that literally takes you out of the game and inside the game developer's studio where they are making games like you shoot movies!
> 
> You then get a job programming the games you were the protagonist of.



One of the Leisure Suit Larry games? I remember seeing something like that on YouTube.

After defeating the big bad, you and your friends go to your victory party only to find said party went on without you. After some bickering and finger pointing, you all decided to head back and play "kick around" with the bad guy's head. And she's alive and fully aware of it all.

Meanwhile, a hippo rides a spacecraft into the night sky.


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## GeorgeDaMoose (Dec 16, 2016)

Don't think this game has been tried out yet:

Red, blue, or green?


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## DancinTim (Dec 16, 2016)

You defeat an evil being in the past and return to your small farm town home with your pet cat girl


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## BiggerJ (Dec 17, 2016)

GeorgeDaMoose said:


> Don't think this game has been tried out yet:
> 
> Red, blue, or green?


Mass Effect 3, natch.

A terrifying force was behind everything.
You defeat the core of the terrifying force.
The core returns and it turns out it's _literally Satan._


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## Virus (Dec 18, 2016)

Rich clone of the protagonist's apprentice builds an underground city, nearly destroying the world above for the sake of daddy issues and time travel mishaps.


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## 2F5L5XG (Dec 19, 2016)

OtterParty said:


> Experience the wonders of Take Your Daughter To Work Day across multiple generations, then punch God from the end of the solar system into the sun.


Bayonetta.

You save your daughter and cease to exist.

You wake up and jump off a building.

You seal a demon in a magic stone and drop it in a snowy wasteland.

You were just an actor in a really weird furry movie the whole time.


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## Lucky Wildcard (Dec 19, 2016)

Lurkman said:


> The cleaning crew came to rescue you at 6 AM



Five Night's at Freddy's: Sister Location.

You fight someone who's later revealed to be your twin brother in an epic battle after he saves you from someone about to murder you in the bathroom.


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## sapir&worf (Dec 19, 2016)

Bassomatic said:


> You go back in time to preform an abortion



Earthborn?

You understand your purpose in his plan, fuck up a tent and the person inside it, and the orange asshole was you all along.


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## Robotron (Dec 19, 2016)

You beat the final boss and realize why there's a similar, but better game than this crap.


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## 2F5L5XG (Dec 21, 2016)

Lucky Wildcard said:


> You fight someone who's later revealed to be your twin brother in an epic battle after he saves you from someone about to murder you in the bathroom.


 No More Heroes.


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## Hypodermic Johnny (Dec 21, 2016)

Your nyctophobic ass was the villain all along, but it's okay because the severed head you rescued is letting you go to nirvana anyway. The horrific torture-murders performed in the name of eldritch magic clearly meant nothing at all.


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## GS 281 (Dec 21, 2016)

Zelda 2: Adventure of Link. 

You fight your shadow. Made no sense.


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## sapir&worf (Dec 21, 2016)

yawning sneasel said:


> You fight your shadow. Made no sense.



One of the Persona games?


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## Overcast (Dec 21, 2016)

After going to the hospital for gonorrhea, dealing with irate postal workers, and attending your uncle's birthday party, you make your way back home during an apocalypse involving the sky raining cats, everyone shooting each other, and RPG weilding terrorists. You make it home safely, but then your wife asks you if you picked up her rocky road ice cream.


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