# Would you come out to your friends if you know they wouldn’t accept you?



## scared sheep (Mar 23, 2018)

So, let’s say you had a great friendship with someone. You’re bffs and whatnot. But you’re queer. Maybe you’re trans, gay, bi, nonbinary, ace, etc. Whatever the case is, you find out that your friend isn’t accepting of those people. Would you rather come out, and risk losing your friendship? Or never say anything, and keep being friends? Why? What is the value a friendship holds to you? What does it mean to be true to yourself?


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## Bassomatic (Mar 23, 2018)

I'd kill myself if I stopped enjoying vagina.

In regards to this, since it doesn't apply I'll loosen the question to other hot topics people get bothered by. It's none of their bidnezz. 

Just because friends don't agree on things doesn't always mean a friendship breaks. In case of dating, it might be a little spicy on double date night when you bring someone of the same sex, but if they throw a tantrum that's ok.

In regards to just not liking what you do if you have to tell people about your bedroom antics and stuff, your the problem. I've been best friends with someone for over 25 years now. He's married I'm not, I don't know  a damn thing about his sex life and he doesn't mine. You know why? We have lives and talk about normal people shit.

We strongly disagree on political and religious matters but because there's a bond we just keep those topics  out and share the many many things we enjoy or like.


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 23, 2018)

I find that in most cases, having a friend who is into [insert something you don't accept or understand] typically helps you understand that people who are into [THAT THING] aren't monsters or freaks or whatever.

I've known some hardline neoNazis who found out their friend was a homo or something like that, and were forced to rethink their positions on those topics because they actually had a modicum of humanity and could change their mind about shit.

Just my two cents.


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## QB 290 (Mar 23, 2018)

Way I see it, if you had to even consider if they'd accept it or not, would they even be your friends in the first place?
Isn't that the definition of a friend?


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## Desire Lines (Mar 23, 2018)

This topic is all too relevant for me  I'd say come out when you think that you and your friends are ready for it. If they are a great friend, their point of view will be challenged by your coming out, and you might convince them that being gay is okay. If a person stops being your friend because of your sexual orientation, they probably weren't that great of a friend in the first place.


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## scared sheep (Mar 23, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> I'd kill myself if I stopped enjoying vagina.
> 
> In regards to this, since it doesn't apply I'll loosen the question to other hot topics people get bothered by. It's none of their bidnezz.
> 
> ...


It’s not about talking about your kinks or buttfucking, but just like... romantic stuff even. Or “hey I know it’s not intentional but I’m actually this gender.” But I getcha. If someone constantly brought up politics I wouldn’t want to be friends with them.



Varg Did Nothing Wrong said:


> I find that in most cases, having a friend who is into [insert something you don't accept or understand] typically helps you understand that people who are into [THAT THING] aren't monsters or freaks or whatever.
> 
> I've known some hardline neoNazis who found out their friend was a homo or something like that, and were forced to rethink their positions on those topics because they actually had a modicum of humanity and could change their mind about shit.
> 
> Just my two cents.


This is a good point!! I’ve actually been *that person* who ends up changing minds before.



Alpha Loves You said:


> Way I see it, if you had to even consider if they'd accept it or not, would they even be your friends in the first place?
> Isn't that the definition of a friend?


This is a very true thing.



Desire Lines said:


> This topic is all too relevant for me  I'd say come out when you think that you and your friends are ready for it. If they are a great friend, their point of view will be challenged by your coming out, and you might convince them that being gay is okay. If a person stops being your friend because of your sexual orientation, they probably weren't that great of a friend in the first place.


Yeah, the value of the friendship really comes into question here, doesn’t it? Hmm.... 

Off topic, but I’m here for you, friendo.


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## Black Waltz (Mar 23, 2018)

I already did, no one cared.


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## Desire Lines (Mar 23, 2018)

scared sheep said:


> Off topic, but I’m here for you, friendo.


Thanks, that means a lot to me  To add to the discussion, if you are really anxious to come out to a friend, I'd recommend first coming out to your acquitances. I found it's a lot easier when you tell a person who is completely neutral to your orientation. The only people I came out to are a girl a knew a school and a guy I knew in college. It was completely spontanious and when they weren't like "ew you are gay", I felt a lot more accepted in the world. Seriously, try it if you feel like the whole world is against you, it really helps


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## ___- (Mar 23, 2018)

I already have a hard enough time not wanting to blow my brains out getting half my friends to hate me for admitting I'm a bisexual isn't on my bucket list when I can just focus on women instead of men anyways.


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## Bassomatic (Mar 23, 2018)

scared sheep said:


> It’s not about talking about your kinks or buttfucking, but just like... romantic stuff even. Or “hey I know it’s not intentional but I’m actually this gender.” But I getcha. If someone constantly brought up politics I wouldn’t want to be friends with them.


That's also what I'm implying, if you are X and you aren't gonna let it get into your day to day, why are you worried or mention it?

Even if you choose or want to mention it for some reason, why be worried it won't effect your interactions. You'll still have everything else to interact and be friends on.


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## Philosophy Zombie (Mar 23, 2018)

scared sheep said:


> ace


Expanding brain


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## scared sheep (Mar 23, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> That's also what I'm implying, if you are X and you aren't gonna let it get into your day to day, why are you worried or mention it?
> 
> Even if you choose or want to mention it for some reason, why be worried it won't effect your interactions. You'll still have everything else to interact and be friends on.


Misgendering I suppose. But this is very true!! The rest of your interactions should support it.


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## ES 148 (Mar 23, 2018)

no


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## Beth (Mar 23, 2018)

Alpha Loves You said:


> Way I see it, if you had to even consider if they'd accept it or not, would they even be your friends in the first place?
> Isn't that the definition of a friend?



Well said, my friend. If "friends" are unable to love you for who you are, then I say fuck 'em.

...But look on the bright side? The people of Kiwifarms will always love you and accept you.


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## Thomas Paine (Mar 23, 2018)

If coming out is going to significantly fuck up your social life, then don't do it.


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## Bad Times (Mar 23, 2018)

This thread is fucking gay.

I don't befriend people that wouldn't accept me so it's a non-issue and even if I did have friends like that, I wouldn't bring it up because fuck them and their opinion. why complicate the banter?


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## WW 635 (Mar 23, 2018)

If your friends can't accept you for who you are, are they really your friends?


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## H4nzn0 (Mar 23, 2018)

I'm an Apache and I've always dreamed about being an Apache but then I'll have to drop my hot sticky load all over my friends, so no.


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## m0rnutz (Mar 23, 2018)

If they need time to accept it, that's cool. If they take the offensive, they can fuck off.

I try to keep a circle of "friends" who I might not agree with a lot of the time, but will support me at my worst and call me on my bullshit. I don't want a hivemind.


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## RG 448 (Mar 23, 2018)

I don’t really know anybody that wouldn’t accept it, but hypothetically speaking I can’t imagine wanting to be friends with someone who wouldn’t accept me for who I am.


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## Lez (Mar 23, 2018)

Depends on the friend. I used to have one who quietly sang songs about killing gay people in class so I probably wouldn't come out to her. Agreeing to disagree on things applies to stuff like tv shows or ice cream flavors. It's harder to apply it to stuff like this.

It's easier if you've got a big enough support network that if you lose some friends, well they probably weren't a good friend in the first place and it's no loss.


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## Benine Bovine (Mar 23, 2018)

If you have like a work friend or “friend” that is more in your social sphere but dosent mix with you on a very deep level, then its a good ol “eh, depends” as you may not expect the relationship to be any deeper than chatting every now and again or something

If i however felt a strong connection i would naturally come out, and if they turned hostile and disgusted i would regret my choice of friends as i would expect a real friend to value me more than their preconceived worldview. Its hard being friends with someone who genuinely despises a somewhat significant part of your identity

Having a different sexuality, invisible disability or anything that is stigmatized but not immedetially ovbious is in a sense an easy way to catch fake or shallow people. All you gotta do is mention it and see weather or not they can look past it.


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## Coconut Gun (Mar 23, 2018)

I would just not be gay.


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## Clintonberg (Mar 23, 2018)

Just download Grindr and get some gay.... friends.


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## Marsaudiac (Mar 23, 2018)

No. It makes me grateful that my friends don't give a shit.


Spoiler: powerlevel warning



I'm not super open about my bisexuality, though. My friends and parents know and they don't care, which is exactly the response I want. However, I wouldn't be open about it at work or in a class or something like that.


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## The Fifth Waltz (Mar 23, 2018)

You don't have to come out if you don't have any friends.


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## Bassomatic (Mar 23, 2018)

thenakedhomeless said:


> You don't have to come out if you don't have any friends.


Tell that to the troons on twitter.


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## Mesh Gear Fox (Mar 24, 2018)

Desire Lines said:


> The only people I came out to are a girl a knew a school and a guy I knew in college.



Culturally, how is homosexuality tolerated in Eastern Europe?  Here in the States it's not a big issue.  My friends/family/colleagues never gave me any grief over it, but I know where you are can be extremely conservative.  That would really give me pause about coming out if I knew society wouldn't accept me.


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## Desire Lines (Mar 24, 2018)

Mesh Gear Fox said:


> Culturally, how is homosexuality tolerated in Eastern Europe?  Here in the States it's not a big issue.  My friends/family/colleagues never gave me any grief over it, but I know where you are can be extremely conservative.  That would really give me pause about coming out if I knew society wouldn't accept me.


It's definitely a very homophobic country, sadly   You most definitely will be hated by the vast majority if you come out openly. The reason I came out to those people was because I knew they were pretty liberal. Most of my acquitances are not. At least I don't live in the Middle East, I suppose


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## Slap47 (Mar 24, 2018)

I'd rather not be friends with a moral busybody. Same logic with fetishes and interests.


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## Piss Clam (Mar 24, 2018)

I wound't/don't care, which is the same thing I use to tell my friends when they started talking about their sex life.


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## Maxliam (Mar 24, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> I'd kill myself if I stopped enjoying vagina.
> 
> In regards to this, since it doesn't apply I'll loosen the question to other hot topics people get bothered by. It's none of their bidnezz.
> 
> ...


Me too. I'd rather be dead than gay. Sorry but I find the entire concept of sticking your dick in an ass to be so god damn disgusting. It's not you gaylords, it's me.


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## Scratch This Nut (Mar 24, 2018)

Well if they would stop being friends with you if you did then they're probably not a very good friend at all.


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## Maxliam (Mar 24, 2018)

Scratch This Nut said:


> Well if they would stop being friends with you if you did then they're probably not a very good friend at all.


That is the gayest shit I've ever heard.


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## Scratch This Nut (Mar 24, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> That is the gayest shit I've ever heard.





Maxliam said:


> Me too. I'd rather be dead than gay. Sorry but I find the entire concept of sticking your dick in an ass to be so god damn disgusting. It's not you gaylords, it's me.


And THAT was the least straight thing I ever read.


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## Maxliam (Mar 24, 2018)

Scratch This Nut said:


> And THAT was the least straight thing I ever read.


I'm just curious if gays have ever tried pussy before? Same with lesbians? Do they ever rock it before they knock it?

But seriously, anal sex is fucking gross. Shit comes out of there. So again, Mr. Gaylord ma'am, it's not you, it's me. I find anal sex in any capacity to be gross. I could never let myself live desiring to stick it in someone's butt. I'd rather die.

Again, just me, Miss Gaylord sir, ma'am.


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## Black Waltz (Mar 24, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> I'm just curious if gays have ever tried pussy before? Same with lesbians? Do they ever rock it before they knock it?
> 
> But seriously, anal sex is fucking gross. Shit comes out of there. So again, Mr. Gaylord ma'am, it's not you, it's me. I find anal sex in any capacity to be gross. I could never let myself live desiring to stick it in someone's butt. I'd rather die.
> 
> Again, just me, Miss Gaylord sir, ma'am.


If you say so


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## Maxliam (Mar 24, 2018)

Dink Smallwood said:


> If you say so


I mean jerking it a couple times to some pics of hot guys doesn't make you gay, bro. Everyone experiments once in a while...


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## Clintonberg (Mar 24, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> I'm just curious if gays have ever tried pussy before?


Does boipussy count?


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## Maxliam (Mar 24, 2018)

Clintonberg said:


> Does boipussy count?


Depends...how twinkish we talking. Like pretty like girl and able to pass as one? You know the kind that are hairless and have those tight little twink lean builds....that might count, right? Disgusting faggotry though.


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## Mesh Gear Fox (Mar 25, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> I'm just curious if gays have ever tried pussy before? Same with lesbians? Do they ever rock it before they knock it?



No, because I find vagina to be disgusting.  I've never had any physical attraction to women, kind of like how you find anal sex to be so repulsive.  Some guys try both, but not me.  I always knew I was gay and don't care for the female form.


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## Maxliam (Mar 25, 2018)

Mesh Gear Fox said:


> No, because I find vagina to be disgusting.  I've never had any physical attraction to women, kind of like how you find anal sex to be so repulsive.  Some guys try both, but not me.  I always knew I was gay and don't care for the female form.


Gee, I guess it was lost on some people here I was jokingly referring to that same concept, eh? In all seriousness, I do get it. I just am not gay. Just like gays find pussy (or dick for dykes) disgusting, so do I for anal buttsecks.

Jesus how many of you here are autistic?


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## Mesh Gear Fox (Mar 25, 2018)

Maxliam said:


> Jesus how many of you here are autistic?



Quite a few!


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## Maxliam (Mar 25, 2018)

Mesh Gear Fox said:


> Quite a few!


True...starting with me. Damn....I need a hugbox right now! GET ME A HUGBOX, DAMMIT!!!


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## SeaPancake (Mar 25, 2018)

If I really liked them, I wouldn't.

Also, I'd say the difference between a friend and family, excepting blood relations and the like, is that friends aren't obligated to like all of you. Family sort of is, within reason. I don't agree with drinking or doing drugs but I have friends who do them and while I dislike it when they do them and I dislike people who are like that, I value their company and non-drug/alcohol-related selves much more than I dislike what they indulge in.


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## Traditional Tet (Mar 26, 2018)

'Coming out'? What, did Uncle Billy touch you in the shower and fuck up your head?
I'll never accept homosexuality as normal, neck yourselves freaks.


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## Y2K Baby (Mar 26, 2018)

Lez said:


> used to have one who quietly sang songs about killing gay people in class


Good friend.


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## MeatRokket08 (Mar 27, 2018)

If one of my friends came out to me I wouldn't care as long as they're not being so campy or being an asshole about it. At the end of the day I care more about someone's actions than whom they're attracted to


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## Maxliam (Mar 28, 2018)

MeatRokket08 said:


> If one of my friends came out to me I wouldn't care as long as they're not being so campy or being an asshole about it. At the end of the day I care more about someone's actions than whom they're attracted to


Like THIS?


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## Philosophy Zombie (Apr 3, 2018)

Mesh Gear Fox said:


> No, because I find vagina to be disgusting.  I've never had any physical attraction to women, kind of like how you find anal sex to be so repulsive.  Some guys try both, but not me.  I always knew I was gay and don't care for the female form.


i am straight but i don't care for the female form either. Bitches aint shit i just like the sandwiches and blowjobs


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