# Sexual orientation thread



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

Thought this could be a cute idea.
Vote and leave a comment about your degeneracy.


----------



## Iwrysd (Sep 25, 2019)

Everyone should love and everyone should be loved.


----------



## RemoveKebab (Sep 25, 2019)

Iwrysd said:


> Everyone should love and everyone should be loved.


Do you realize where you are? Get bent faggot.


----------



## Papa Adolfo's Take'n'Bake (Sep 25, 2019)

Hi NSA senpai uguuuu~~~


----------



## NerdShamer (Sep 25, 2019)

I identity as the Killdozer







And I'm sexually attracted to running over my Hot Wheels collection.


----------



## RetardedCat (Sep 25, 2019)

Why the fuck is this list so long.
You can only be a fag, a normal person or on your way to being a fag. So what's the rest supposed to be.


Also asexuals don't exist. No one is really asexual except pretend retards, everyone fucks, period.


----------



## ️ronic (Sep 25, 2019)

The only thing that turns me on is the word of our Lord, Jesus Christ.


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

️ronic said:


> The only thing that turns me on is the word of our Lord, Jesus Christ.


----------



## mr.moon1488 (Sep 25, 2019)

What if I'm a male, who's only sexually attracted to female attack helicopters?


----------



## Christ Cried (Sep 25, 2019)

I only let girls fuck my ass


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

REEEEEE so many cishets 
this is not my safe space anymore


----------



## maalikthefakemuzzie (Sep 25, 2019)

I rate this fag/10


----------



## Kamov Ka-52 (Sep 25, 2019)

@Monika H. Thank you for being inclusive with your options.


mr.moon1488 said:


> What if I'm a male, who's only sexually attracted to female attack helicopters?
> 
> View attachment 948771


>tfw no qt Kawasaki OH-1 gf


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

Kamov Ka-52 said:


> @Monika H. Thank you for being inclusive with your options.


My pleasure, I thought of you too!


----------



## HeyYou (Sep 25, 2019)

Why would I volunteer information that makes it easier for people to mock me?


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

Christ Cried said:


> I only let girls fuck my ass


Probably never could agree more on any statement ever.


----------



## The Cunting Death (Sep 25, 2019)

I go both ways and I still call people faggots

what are you going to do about that, faggot?


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

Senor Cardgage Mortgage said:


> I go both ways and I still call people faggots
> 
> what are you going to do about that, faggot?


I'll be getting triggered about it you faggotphobic shitlord


----------



## TokiBun (Sep 25, 2019)

Bisexual with a preference for men. A good circumcised dick is the life.


----------



## exhausted (Sep 25, 2019)

bisexual with a preference for men, though id call myself opportunistic 



AnxiousRobin said:


> Bisexual with a preference for men. A good circumcised dick is the life.


uncircumcised looks nicer change my mind


----------



## KittyGremlin (Sep 25, 2019)

is barbeque sauce a sex?


----------



## FierceBrosnan (Sep 25, 2019)

You all know me well enough to know that if I think you're attractive, it doesn't matter, I will attempt to bang you.


----------



## Neozeonian (Sep 25, 2019)

What a bunch of queers.


----------



## Franjevina (Sep 25, 2019)

I'm into squirrels,so file me under Zoophilia .


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

Franjevina said:


> I'm into squirrels,so file me under Zoophilia .


How the fuck are you supposed to fit your dick inside a squirrels mating plug anyway?


----------



## Slappy McGherkin (Sep 25, 2019)

I told my 83 year old mother I was going to gender change to a woman the other day. She pissed herself laughing -- "Son, you've been chasing cooter since you were 3 years old and learned to walk! Besides, you'd be a damn UGLY woman!"

I wanted to send her a picture of Tommy Tooter just for spite.


----------



## TokiBun (Sep 25, 2019)

exhausted said:


> bisexual with a preference for men, though id call myself opportunistic
> 
> 
> uncircumcised looks nicer change my mind



I won't I'll just admit I'm into Jews.


----------



## Citizen Lain (Sep 25, 2019)

I am a soysexual. I have a healthy appreciation for soymilk, soy suce and soy products of any kind, as well as people who use these products on a regular basis.


Spoiler: The sexiest thing in the world


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

I like men that look like women


----------



## EmpireOfTheClouds (Sep 25, 2019)

Gay dude myself


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

I consider myself mostly straight. But sometimes I can be around a tall muscular chad looking guy and get kind of hard


----------



## JULAY (Sep 25, 2019)

RetardedCat said:


> everyone fucks, period.


Lol, not incels.


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

JULAY said:


> Lol, not incels.


Nothing wrong with sexual purity until either Death or Marriage.


----------



## Stupid Sexy Flanders (Sep 25, 2019)

Inferior Little Shit said:


> I consider myself mostly straight. But sometimes I can be around a tall muscular chad looking guy and get kind of hard



Chad is awesome though. He's really cool, likes to party and bang.


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

Stupid Sexy Flanders said:


> Chad is awesome though. He's really cool, likes to party and bang.


It actually helps me understand why women wouldn't be attracted to fat autistic incels, and scrawny weak soyboys


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

someone help me figure out how to supress the gay urges


----------



## KimCoppolaAficionado (Sep 25, 2019)

Nice try, Pence, you won't get us all on a list that easily!


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

Senior Lexmechanic said:


> Nice try, Pence, you won't get us all on a list that easily!


dammit


----------



## Midlife Sperglord (Sep 25, 2019)

I am a plain vanilla faggot.  I suppose it could be worse.


----------



## FierceBrosnan (Sep 25, 2019)

Black Waltz said:


> someone help me figure out how to supress the gay urges


And miss this opportunity? Hells no. I'm coming for that booty.


----------



## ΔN^2 (Sep 25, 2019)

what evolutionary benefit if any?


----------



## ΔN^2 (Sep 25, 2019)

Im only being onest when i say that -like most things in biology- all non cis orientations are defective


----------



## Vampirella (Sep 25, 2019)

Inferior Little Shit said:


> purity until either *Death*



That's how I like them.


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

ΔN^2 said:


> Im only being onest when i say that -like most things in biology- all non cis orientations are defective


your mom's defective


----------



## ΔN^2 (Sep 25, 2019)

Black Waltz said:


> your mom's defective


ya probly in some minor way possible asymmetry of the sinus


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

ΔN^2 said:


> ya probly in some minor way possible asymmetry of the sinus


I know, she told me that


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

Nekromantik2 said:


> That's how I like them.


"The promise was 'till Death do us apart. My death, because I don't necessarily need you alive for this marriage to work." - Frau H.

And naturally, if she passes on first


----------



## Bugs_Galore (Sep 25, 2019)

I am attracted exclusively to unmarried female virgins. And the only sex I have is handholding sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation. Anything else is absolutely degenerate.


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (Sep 25, 2019)

Considered myself bi for years, but then my gf broke up with me and a little while after it became apparent that I hold so little interest in women at this point compared to men so, fuck it. I'm just gay through and through.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Sep 25, 2019)

Wow...surprised at the high number of bisexual votes.


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 25, 2019)

NOT Sword Fighter Super said:


> Wow...surprised at the high number of bisexual votes.


help me


----------



## Fougaro (Sep 25, 2019)

Isn't anyone who registered on the Farms a massive faggot by default?


----------



## Monika H. (Sep 25, 2019)

NOT Sword Fighter Super said:


> Wow...surprised at the high number of bisexual votes.


That's because most Kiwis know they'll rarely get any so they'll take anything they can


----------



## FierceBrosnan (Sep 25, 2019)

Fougaro said:


> Isn't anyone who registered on the Farms a massive faggot by default?


Yes, but the cool kind of faggot like Freddie Mercury.


----------



## nekrataal (Sep 25, 2019)

I’m bisexual but I just don’t want any kind of relationship with anyone. I haven’t dated since my divorce.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Sep 25, 2019)

Monika H. said:


> That's because most Kiwis know they'll rarely get any so they'll take anything they can


Plus I'm sure being mutually hated by both straights and gays may be a factor too.


----------



## Neozeonian (Sep 25, 2019)

Inferior Little Shit said:


> Nothing wrong with sexual purity until either Death or Marriage.



If it was good enough for our Lord and savior, it's good enough for the rest of us.


----------



## オウム 2 (Sep 25, 2019)

I'm straight but if I were gay I'd be full gay none of that faggot ~bisexual~ shit.


----------



## Inferior Little Shit (Sep 25, 2019)

オウム 2 said:


> I'm straight but if I were gay I'd be full gay none of that faggot ~bisexual~ shit.


I think I might just become full blown gay because it's obvious girl stuff is just not working for me.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Sep 25, 2019)

Black Waltz said:


> I like men that look like women


----------



## OjSimpsonFan21 (Sep 25, 2019)

Bisexual but I have always been more attracted to men and androgynous people than women.

Masculine faces with makeup/nonpassing MtF trans is like a mega turnoff, though I find crossdressers and traps (not MTF as much) attractive


----------



## Suburban Bastard (Sep 25, 2019)

The amount of LGB kiwis is making some of the screenshots in the "kiwi farms reviews" thread all the more hilarious........G incase you were wondering.


----------



## Ted_Breakfast (Sep 25, 2019)

I'm married to solitude and she is a jealous lover.


----------



## TheghostofAlfred (Sep 26, 2019)

On the internet im a ghost cat...so ghostofelin--fuck it im an attack helicopter. I will drop my sticky hot torpedos on all you terrorists --nyaaa <3


----------



## ΔN^2 (Sep 26, 2019)

Black Waltz said:


> I know, she told me that


why is your sinus also skew?


----------



## Black Waltz (Sep 26, 2019)

ΔN^2 said:


> why is your sinus also skew?


yes


----------



## ES 195 (Sep 26, 2019)




----------



## DelicateMageflower (Sep 26, 2019)

I bang dudes. I had a short bicurious phase which faded quickly.


----------



## murgatroid (Sep 26, 2019)

It's not gay if you keep your socks on.


----------



## Shibaru (Sep 27, 2019)

Asexual, Never was attracted to anyone even if everyone already had their fake love going.


----------



## Dwight Frye (Sep 27, 2019)

I'm a dude who likes dudes.


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (Sep 28, 2019)

I don't get the obsession with uncut dicks. That is so bizarre to me.


----------



## stuffandthings (Sep 28, 2019)

'Voluncel' Virgin saving myself for Marriage or Harrison Ford. Preferably marriage to Harrison Ford. I don't care how old he gets or how many crap movies he's in, as long as he's got a pulse I'm DTF.

Will I die alone? Probably. But it beats pumping out three redneck tard babies with four different daddies like the rest of my classmates. I'd rather keep my legs closed than take a big ol' dick of drama just to say I've been fucked by a 5/10.


----------



## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Sep 28, 2019)

One of my friends liked to sexually identify as a cactus on government forms.


----------



## Dysnomia (Sep 28, 2019)

Feminine presenting AFAB female cishet ciscum with a preference for masculine presenting AMAB males.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Sep 28, 2019)

bi for fictional characters, straight IRL


----------



## Inflatable Julay (Sep 28, 2019)

Gaybian


----------



## Overcast (Sep 28, 2019)

I'm an absolute degenerate fuck with the most disgusting fantasies and fetishes.

Like finding a pretty girl to hold hands with and kiss at random intervals.


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (Sep 29, 2019)

Inferior Little Shit said:


> I think I might just become full blown gay because it's obvious girl stuff is just not working for me.


As someone who was in your exact position, I'd say that'd be the best course of action. Being bi kind of sucks to be honest, coming out as gay makes things a whole lot simpler.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Sep 29, 2019)

I hate everyone, regardless of which (of the two) genders they happen to be, so I said attack helicopter.


----------



## polonium (Oct 1, 2019)

UntimelyDhelmise said:


> As someone who was in your exact position, I'd say that'd be the best course of action. Being bi kind of sucks to be honest, coming out as gay makes things a whole lot simpler.


I don't know why anyone would voluntarily interact with women tbqhwy


----------



## queerape (Oct 1, 2019)

I'm flexible, but mostly like men.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Oct 2, 2019)

Overcast said:


> I'm an absolute degenerate fuck with the most disgusting fantasies and fetishes.
> 
> Like finding a pretty girl to hold hands with and kiss at random intervals.


You fucking monster, keep that gross shit to yourself!


----------



## JambledUpWords (Oct 2, 2019)

I’m sexually attracted to orange chicken from The Cheesecake Factory. My seat is soaking after I’m done eating it.


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (Oct 2, 2019)

So many bisexuals with a preference for men... Gays in denial I tell you.


----------



## Autisimodo (Oct 2, 2019)

Straight Male. Best way to describe my sexuality would Demisexual. Comes with being an introvert for a large portion of your life.


----------



## polonium (Oct 2, 2019)

UntimelyDhelmise said:


> So many bisexuals with a preference for men... Gays in denial I tell you.


Agreed. There's no such thing as being a teensie weensie bit into cock. You either want it or don't, the kinsey scale is just how much you're lying to yourself.


----------



## afternoon_tea (Oct 2, 2019)

I am a fan of both pole and hole. 

And as for dick preference, uncut all the way.


----------



## LordofTendons (Oct 2, 2019)

I like jalapeños-- cut, of course, in a jar by the door.


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (Oct 2, 2019)

polonium said:


> Agreed. There's no such thing as being a teensie weensie bit into cock. You either want it or don't, the kinsey scale is just how much you're lying to yourself.


idk, I think it is possible to be 50/50 or simply be more into women but could still see yourself getting the D on occasion (aka "bicurious"), but when you say things like "preference to men" like many in this thread have stated then yeah, you're gay and just use the bisexual card as an easy out to have it both ways when it's obvious you almost always if not exclusively want cock.

I've lived that lie for over 4 years so needless to say I've been through those mental gymnastics already until I finally threw up my hands and accepted the truth for what it was.


----------



## Offen Ded Tardreee (Oct 2, 2019)

JambledUpWords said:


> I’m sexually attracted to orange chicken from The Cheesecake Factory. My seat is soaking after I’m done eating it.


EEEW you’re the reason why the seats there are sticky.... JK, I never leave my mothers basement. 



Spoiler: Orientalation



Straight and married to a woman.


----------



## L50LasPak (Oct 2, 2019)

Tough chicks are hot. They usually don't have much of a rack to go with it though.


----------



## nippleonbonerfart (Oct 2, 2019)

Sexual orientation is so important it should be your only defining character trait and the only thing you talk about.


----------



## exhausted (Oct 2, 2019)

UntimelyDhelmise said:


> So many bisexuals with a preference for men... Gays in denial I tell you.


i considered myself gay for a long time, but goddamn the gay community aint nice to you if you mention finding some chicks cute


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (Oct 2, 2019)

exhausted said:


> i considered myself gay for a long time, but goddamn the gay community aint nice to you if you mention finding some chicks cute


Well there's your first mistake. The entire LGBTPTSD "community" is one big exceptional shitshow to begin with.

EDIT: A "community" that constantly turns on itself to put it more accurately. They deal with more infighting among themselves than they do from outsiders at this point.


----------



## Grand Omega (Oct 2, 2019)

I'm hetero, though I veer close to being asexual. Practically no libido or sex drive present to influence anything I do. I could go the rest of my life without having sex and it wouldn't bother me a bit.


----------



## Mike R (Oct 3, 2019)

I know it's gay to take it in the ass, but is it gay to give it to a d00d in the ass?


----------



## Monika H. (Oct 3, 2019)

Overcast said:


> I'm an absolute degenerate fuck with the most disgusting fantasies and fetishes.
> 
> Like finding a pretty girl to hold hands with and kiss at random intervals.


Keep your perversions against nature to yourself


----------



## FierceBrosnan (Oct 3, 2019)

Mike R said:


> I know it's gay to take it in the ass, but is it gay to give it to a d00d in the ass?


Only if he likes it.


----------



## queerape (Oct 3, 2019)

polonium said:


> Agreed. There's no such thing as being a teensie weensie bit into cock. You either want it or don't, the kinsey scale is just how much you're lying to yourself.


Cock has an addictive quality, and I have an addictive personality.


----------



## Blender (Oct 3, 2019)

I like dicks.


----------



## Turd Burglar (Oct 3, 2019)

I like me some everything except fake trannies.

Obligatory Chris is fat and I would not have sex with him. Or Yaniv, for that matter.


----------



## ⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛ (Oct 5, 2019)

As a male on a gossip forum, I am _extremely_ heterosexual.


----------



## exhausted (Oct 5, 2019)

3119967d0c said:


> As a male on a gossip forum, I am _extremely_ heterosexual.


im actually surprised by the amount of heteros here- curious on what it would be if we broke it up into male/female


----------



## Monika H. (Oct 5, 2019)

exhausted said:


> im actually surprised by the amount of heteros here- curious on what it would be if we broke it up into male/female


Most male Kiwis are bisexual because they got at the point in their lives were they'll take anything they can.
Most female Kiwis are probably hetero as they aren't that desperate, with exceptions (hi @LagoonaBlue !)


----------



## annoyingfuck (Oct 5, 2019)

I'm Venngender...


----------



## WW 635 (Oct 5, 2019)

RemoveKebab said:


> Do you realize where you are? Get bent faggot.


Sounds like someone isn't getting enough love


----------



## exhausted (Oct 5, 2019)

annoyingfuck said:


> I'm Venngender...


what the fuck is that


----------



## BOONES (Oct 5, 2019)

Straight. Could never find guys attractive. This is life.


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (Oct 5, 2019)

Love who you love

Imo it should only be LGBT. 

QAPDS are all fake constructs.


----------



## Dr. Dingo DVM (Oct 5, 2019)

Asexual from pre-Tumblr when the term had one goddamn definition and no footnotes.

I miss those days.


----------



## Ted_Breakfast (Oct 5, 2019)

Sheeeeeeit, I have a Riddler action figure posed beside my alarm clock. My orientation is Hopeless.


----------



## Eto (Oct 7, 2019)

Bisexual. What can I say? I love cocks and pussies.


----------



## Mike R (Oct 7, 2019)

I have been operating under the assumption that everyone here is a fag.


----------



## Black Waltz (Oct 7, 2019)

Mike R said:


> I have been operating under the assumption that everyone here is a fag.


including you?


----------

