# What's the most illegal thing you've done?



## Ted Kaczynski (Apr 27, 2021)

Asking for a friend. (The friend is federal authorities)


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## Some JERK (Apr 27, 2021)

I routinely fill my electric kettle well below the "Min. fill" line.


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## Just A Butt (Apr 27, 2021)

i post on kiwi farms.


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## The Lawgiver (Apr 27, 2021)

I poured some piss colored soap in a high school sink once.
Other kids did far worse shit than that in the bathroom and got no consequences for shitting in the urinal or throwing wads of literal piss encrusted toilet paper onto the ceiling. I guess spilling some  soap was a more serious crime to whoever the fuck was in charge of things at the time because they hunted my ass down and had a stern threatening talk with me over that shit.
Maybe they wanted me to wash my hands with piss?


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## Mal0 (Apr 27, 2021)

Blamed a fart on my dog.


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## LolRaccoon (Apr 27, 2021)

Yarr.


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## SIGSEGV (Apr 27, 2021)




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## Quantum Diabetes (Apr 27, 2021)

I've committed arson several times. My farts are flammable and I've left Waffle Houses and Red Robin's in flames.


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## DumbDude42 (Apr 27, 2021)

bought weed off silk road back in the day
also posting wrongthink on kiwifarms that could get me arrested in a couple dozen countries at least


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## Gaussiana (Apr 27, 2021)

For about 2+ years I didn't pay for internet. Now I'm no IT technician but I saw when those bastards parked in front of my house, opened the little cable/phone/net box they had installed and unplugged something. After they were gone I went out and just plugged it again. Didn't think it would work but it did. I moved out of that house and my debt with the internet/phone company got bought out.


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## Mr. Bung (Apr 27, 2021)

I keep a gimp in my crawlspace. Everyone would say it's illegal and unethical but believe me, he loves it!


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## KonradCruise (Apr 27, 2021)

I ignored my free trial of winrar warning.


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## L50LasPak (Apr 27, 2021)

seems legit


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## Sperghetti (Apr 27, 2021)

I downloaded a car.

They said I wouldn’t do it but I did, and I’m not even sorry.


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## Medulseur (Apr 27, 2021)

I ripped off the "Do not remove" tag from my mattress.


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## KingCoelacanth (Apr 27, 2021)

I steal children off the street and make them do all my internet hate posting for me.
That way I can argue in court that it was them, not me.


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## Moswald Osley (Apr 27, 2021)

In high school one time during an election year me and my best friends spent about 4 months stealing candidate signs from wherever we thought we wouldn't get caught. After the elections were over we put them all on the econ teacher's lawn. We had just shy of 200 of them.


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## HiramTheGrift (Apr 27, 2021)

Some JERK said:


> I routinely fill my electric kettle well below the "Min. fill" line.


Smh cooking burnt water


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## Ted Kaczynski (Apr 27, 2021)

Gaussiana said:


> For about 2+ years I didn't pay for internet. Now I'm no IT technician but I saw when those bastards parked in front of my house, opened the little cable/phone/net box they had installed and unplugged something. After they were gone I went out and just plugged it again. Didn't think it would work but it did. I moved out of that house and my debt with the internet/phone company got bought out.


this is incredibly based and redpilled.


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## JosephStalin (Apr 27, 2021)

Since I live in California, everything I do is a crime.  They just haven't gotten around to passing the specific laws yet.   As I believe my namesake once said, "Show me the man and I will show you the crime."


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## Ted Kaczynski (Apr 27, 2021)

Asking for a friend. (The friend is federal authorities)


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## Death Grip (Apr 27, 2021)

Stole Jesus from a nativity scene.


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## Big Ruski (Apr 27, 2021)

pirated games on GOG because I didn't want to pay $5-10


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## Witthel (Apr 27, 2021)

Watched some pirated movies and TV shows.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Apr 28, 2021)

I am complicit in many illegal operations on my Windows 95 computer.


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## Spartacus Mills (Apr 28, 2021)

I don't pay for public transportation... (well, sometimes)
In order to use the buses where I live, you get a card and you have to purchase some kind of contract to use on the card. I used to buy the monthly pass because I use the bus on a daily basis (costs about 65$).
Recently a new app was released where you can provide your credit card details and pay via the app instead of the usual bus card. Each time you get on a bus you scan a barcode, choose the bus line and the destination and then you have to confirm. So what I've been doing is going through all the steps but without confirming. If I see that a ticket inspector is coming I quickly confirm and show him the receipt, but they don't come often so most times it's a free ride. Now on average I pay 5$ a month instead of 65.


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## 5574 (Apr 28, 2021)

sometimes when im lazy i pee in the neighbor's bushes



SIGSEGV said:


> dumb shitpost



shut the fuck up cia nigger


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## SIGSEGV (Apr 28, 2021)

5574 said:


> shut the fuck up cia nigger


No.


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## 5574 (Apr 28, 2021)

SIGSEGV said:


> No.



?


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## Madre Muerte (Apr 28, 2021)

Raped my horse


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## Jabroni (Apr 28, 2021)

I jaywalk on the regular. I've also abducted a chicken before.


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## Some JERK (Apr 28, 2021)

HiramTheGrift said:


> Smh cooking burnt water


It's _roasted _water.


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## Dwight Frye (Apr 28, 2021)

I’m a pretty good boi. Worst thing I’ve ever done is pretty lame stuff, probably smoking pot when it was still illegal here


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## OrionBalls (Apr 28, 2021)

I steal pets from the popular people and I dress the pets up like the popular people.


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## Extreme Aneurysm (Apr 28, 2021)

Threatened to kill an autistic female teen in a very specific matter-of-fact way.


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## draggs (Apr 28, 2021)

Traffick droogs


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Apr 28, 2021)

On Sunday, I went whale hunting in Ohio.


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## lurk_moar (Apr 28, 2021)

Reading a banned book that a defunct dynasty banned.


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## Based Coffee Man (Apr 28, 2021)

Hempsoap said:


> Asking for a friend. (The friend is federal authorities)



I browsed 4chan on TOR once. Through a VPN and a virtual machine. Come and get me, federinos.


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## stares at error messages (Apr 29, 2021)

Hempsoap said:


> Asking for a friend. (The friend is federal authorities)


Why don't you just post your badge number? It's not like you could show off that you're a fed any more loudly.


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## Niggernerd (Apr 29, 2021)

Stand on the grass at a place with a "do not step on grass" sign.
Yea I'm a pussy slaying badass what you gonna do about it.


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## Ted Kaczynski (Apr 27, 2021)

Asking for a friend. (The friend is federal authorities)


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## Penis Drager (Apr 29, 2021)

I can neither confirm nor deny involvement in an arson that resulted in the destruction of a local park's public bathroom. 
On a similar note: I plead the 5th on breaking into an elementary school and stealing hundreds of dollars from said school's fundraiser or the check fraud that followed. Even if that were the case, I absolutely cannot verify complicity in easily a few hundred dollars worth of damage enacted in the process of this supposed theft. 
Leave me alone!


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## JethroTullamore (Apr 30, 2021)

This is a tough one to talk about, but I need to get it off my chest.....

One night, when I was really drunk and walking home from the bar, I stopped at a gas station for some food.

After I payed, I was awaiting said food, when I saw it, a cup of Oreo pudding.

That’s when I did it, I committed my one and only theft, I slipped that cup of pudding into my pocket and walked out without paying.

I hope one day to be forgiven, and to never return the days of being the “pudding bandit.”


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## Not Really Here (Apr 30, 2021)

One time I bought a bottle of Vicodin from a 13 year old in a school zone that they stole from their over proscribed mom for $20.


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## Bastard_Call (Apr 30, 2021)

When I was 16 I used to hang out with this 30 year old femcel who would let me drive her car. She eventually got engaged to a drug dealer and I stole about 600 Euro from his jacket shortly before she and him moved to Italy. To this day my heart stops any time a car pulls up next to me.


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## Mary the Goldsmith (May 1, 2021)

When I was 13 I forgot to do my homework, so I stole the nerd girl's homework, erased her name wrote in mine and turned it in, I knew she wouldn't get in trouble because she was that one girl who always gets the highest grades and always does her homework, so the teacher would believe her when she said that someone had stolen it.


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## Make Anime Illegal (May 1, 2021)

Finished an unserialized AR-15 lower in a state that require firearms registration.


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## DeadFish (May 1, 2021)

Better question is how does one shop for a decent lawyer?


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## Jeff Boomhauer (May 1, 2021)

When I was in the third grade, we had a test to write out all of the US capitals on a blank US map. You had three chances to pass. Everyone that passed the first time got extra recess while those that didn't had to spend their time studying.

Shortly after taking it the first time, I walked by my teacher's desk to sharpen my pencil, only to discover that she left my test on top in her "To Be Graded" file. I noticed I forgot fucking Providence, Rhode Island, and quickly snatched the paper away and wrote it down.

A few of the other boys saw me do it, but they didn't rat me out. They just looked at me with looks of disappointment. I ended up passing and got that extra recess.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (May 2, 2021)

I had a very short lived stint as a graffiti artist, and by that I mean I tagged like 3 things.


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## The Last Stand (May 2, 2021)

JosephStalin said:


> Since I live in California, everything I do is a crime.  They just haven't gotten around to passing the specific laws yet.   As I believe my namesake once said, "Show me the man and I will show you the crime."


You're old and White. That's multiple crimes in and of itself.

Go on websites and lie about my birthday.


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