# What advice would you give to your 15 year old self?



## Celestine (Nov 10, 2021)

Whether it be serious or just to do a flip, faggot - what would you tell yourself? Would your younger self take and apply what you tell them?


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## What the shit (Nov 10, 2021)

Don't try to please every faggot you meet. Quit trying to hold onto friendships.


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## Getwhatyou (Nov 10, 2021)

What the shit said:


> Don't try to please every faggot you meet. Quit trying to hold onto friendships.


The friendships is a good one. 

Find purpose in what ever you do.


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## Tackleberry (Nov 10, 2021)

Buy stock in Apple with every penny you have.


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## stuffandthings (Nov 10, 2021)

Take at least a year before attempting college. Work.


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## Getwhatyou (Nov 10, 2021)

stuffandthings said:


> Take at least a year before attempting college. Work.


I reckon that's a good way to end up never going.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Nov 10, 2021)

Have sex, lol!


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## Red Hood (Nov 10, 2021)

Bitcoin is gonna sound re.tarded, but buy it day one.

Don't buy Gone Home. It's not spooky.


And for God's sake hold onto that boxed copy of Snatcher.


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## stuffandthings (Nov 10, 2021)

Getwhatyou said:


> I reckon that's a good way to end up never going.


Sometimes, that's for the best. You can waste a lot of money learning to be useless.


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## Lone MacReady (Nov 10, 2021)

Convert the worthless fiat digits you'll get in 3 years into real tangible appreciating assets.


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## Chocolate Wombat (Nov 10, 2021)

It's complicated but the short version is: keep living with dad but still get GED at 17 then go straight to college instead of working dumb jobs that don't pay that well.


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## Info Player Start (Nov 10, 2021)




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## Save Goober (Nov 10, 2021)

Buy a lot of Bitcoin


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## Massa's Little Buckie (Nov 10, 2021)

Buy Bitcoin and invest in Tesla stock.


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## Tootsie Bear (Nov 10, 2021)

Straighten up and fly right, baby!


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 10, 2021)

*DIE.*


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Nov 10, 2021)

_Never draw._


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## Disheveled Human (Nov 10, 2021)

KYS.


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## Semiprofessional Sperg (Nov 10, 2021)

Go to New York City and climb to the top of the north tower at 8:30AM on September 11, 2001.

The Quixotic medallion will be there, trust the process


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## JosephStalin (Nov 10, 2021)

Put more effort into learning how to get along with people.  You'll learn in a couple of years, why not now.

In the spring of 1972, no matter what your father says, send in your application for financial aid for college.  Just do it.  You will be most grateful.  Matter of fact, you'll do well to disregard anything your father and mother say.  They are not looking out for your best interests.    

Start getting in shape now.  Do pushups every day until you can do at least fifty without stopping.  This will be a big help during basic training in 1974.

Not to worry, you'll have what it takes to do anything you need to do, and will do very well in college and further schooling.  You can step up your game easily.  Just get through high school; once graduated, you'll see very few of these people again.  

When someone offers you a job that seems like a stretch, take it.  They'll work out very well.  If you couldn't do it you wouldn't have gotten the offer.

And never let the "little head" do the thinking.


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## Alexander Thaut (Nov 10, 2021)

trust the old japanese guy about the location of yamashita's gold when he offers to drive you to it with your dad


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## scallion (Nov 10, 2021)

Just buy bitcoin retard, you'll probably still be miserable but at least you'll be rich


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## The Big O (Nov 10, 2021)

Ignore any and all attempts to go to college and shoot for construction trade work instead, wean off the video games a lot earlier, and start shunning old childhood trappings like still watching western animation/Disney because they all start going down the shitter in a decade.


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## Kelly's Yeeted Legs (Nov 10, 2021)

15 would have been a few years too late.

Anyway, to my younger self: find better people to hang out with than that alcoholic sociopath bitch. If she's still alive, it would be a fucking miracle.

At least I managed not to get arrested.


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## Idaho Battle Barn (Nov 10, 2021)

Be more assertive and direction-focused.


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## Arminius (Nov 10, 2021)

Try harder.


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## MediocreMilt (Nov 10, 2021)

Dook in the urinal.

You'll be a slient hero for all time.


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## atleast3letterslong (Nov 10, 2021)

Find Christ and work out


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## Jennifer Lopez (Nov 10, 2021)

Your peers aren’t maturing that much faster than you and also your crush is gay.


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## KittyGremlin (Nov 10, 2021)

All the friends you currently have are shit and only give a fuck about you because you're good at things. Dad stores the Glock in the lower drawer near the bed. Code to the case is 8245. Slide release is a little sticky and shots go slightly up and to the left. You know what to do.


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## Drkinferno72 (Nov 10, 2021)

Invest in Bitcoin


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## Calooby (Nov 10, 2021)

Livestream it.


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## The Wicked Mitch (Nov 10, 2021)

That 10/10 half-Polish cutie likes you, faggot.

Don't sell your 2011 Tesla shares just because they 3x'ed, faggot. Or your 2011 Netflix shares, faggot.

The people memeing on 4chan about buying digital money and retiring by 2025 at the latest are right, faggot.

Oh well, better luck next time.


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## Red Hood (Nov 10, 2021)

JosephStalin said:


> Put more effort into learning how to get along with people.  You'll learn in a couple of years, why not now.
> 
> In the spring of 1972, no matter what your father says, send in your application for financial aid for college.  Just do it.  You will be most grateful.  Matter of fact, you'll do well to disregard anything your father and mother say.  They are not looking out for your best interests.
> 
> ...


You're a wise man, comrade.


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## Seventh Star (Nov 10, 2021)

Nothing. It wouldn't change my stubborn ass anyways.


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## Nero You're DeadWeight (Nov 10, 2021)

Dear younger me
- Ditch that group of friends because deadass you will only have 2 friends who talk to you after everything is done and you'll have a lot less trauma
- GET YOUR FUCKING DRIVERS LISCENCE or else you'll be struggling 5 years later to get that shit going
- On that note, don't say no on that free car. YOU'LL REGRET IT and only get $100 and a $5 mood crystal your mom will give you $50 out of pitty
- keep in shape, you'll appreciate it more than you know
- Your bestie is gonna have some really hard times ahead of her, keep receipts of everything so you can bring her future ex to the police
- Don't worry about being single, you're going to be fine.
- Watch Naruto, it's not as bad as you think.
- Hone your fetish art skills, it'll be worth it.

edit: a few more since it got deep last night 

- Stop being so lazy. You can still enjoy your anime, but god be productive instead of fat n lazy
- Your holding yourself back and it's gonna be a uphill battle until you get your head out of your ass
- Spend more time with your grandmother she won't be here for long and scam your grandfather for everything he's got since he's an utter shit bag who's going to make shit rough for your parents.
- Give up on your dreams of being a chef, do that shit on the side. Culinary industry is dog shit so don't bother.
- Give up on the two guys you have a crush on. One's going to jail, and Jake got ugly as hell.
- Oh, and tell your new friend to be careful crossin the street in 2017. He'll get rammed by a bus but live with alot of issues.


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## MAPK phosphatase (Nov 10, 2021)

Why would I give my future self advice?


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## Akumaten (Nov 10, 2021)

Learn a skill. Don't be indecisive in college.


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## Tard Police (Nov 10, 2021)

Enjoy the ride while it lasts cause it turns out the future is pretty fuckin gay lol


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## Peanut Butter in Peril (Nov 10, 2021)

Work on not being such an autistic sped and be at least a bit more social.
Actually develop useful interests or skills.
Maintain your interest in music.
Chat more with your gramps, he doesn't have much more time.
Keep in touch with you older brother, he doesn't have long either.


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## The Last Stand (Nov 10, 2021)

What the shit said:


> Don't try to please every faggot you meet. Quit trying to hold onto friendships.


Stay away from White girls. Don't attract attention when you go to school.


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## Pissmaster (Nov 10, 2021)

Quit eating sugar, fatass.


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## Lord of the Large Pants (Nov 10, 2021)

Read more books.

Don't let college screw you out of transfer credits.

Don't lose a year of your life to Team Fortress 2 (of all fucking things).

Things with women aren't going to get any better, so learn to find happiness in other things.


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## Niggernerd (Nov 10, 2021)

Impress girls by holding a towel with your dick when you bring them home.

Don't touch weed anymore, its lame.


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## Weed Eater (Nov 10, 2021)

Invest in Bitcoin and Tesla stock.
Get rid of fucking Deviant Art, all social media preferably. The loss of the online """friends""" will not mean a thing.
Stop being a whore, stop hanging out around boys, hell, stop hanging out with your so-called "friends". Fuck everyone.

_Ensure the divorce doesn't happen._


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## Kenya Jones (Nov 10, 2021)

"Kill them all" *gives gun*


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## Dwight Frye (Nov 10, 2021)

Don’t fall for the “leftists care about equality” nonsense. Save yourself from a lot of embarrassing years


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## Turkey Twister (Nov 10, 2021)

Dont touch soda.
Shits good if you avoid engineering. Parents wont kill you. Its just as queer as the english department. 
The mexican girl is actually a lesbian, dont lose a year thinking about her.


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## Pee Cola (Nov 11, 2021)

Disheveled Human said:


> KYS.


This but unironically.


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## AquaDragoness (Nov 11, 2021)

Be damn grateful and give Mom and Dad some credit, especially Dad. He put his life on the line to make sure you lived a comfortable one and Mom's still sacrificing a lot to this day.

However, don't listen to everything Mom and Dad say, especially Mom. They still think Mainstream Media is reliable through social media and believe everything on YouTube. Through that, they will become even more paranoid than before.

Don't feel sorry for your Grandmother when she dies. She was a horrible person and the main reason why you always felt like shit. Not to mention, she also was the reason why you and your sister never got along when you were younger.

Talk to your younger brother more and connect with him. You two will barely talk in the future.

Friends come and go, but almost all your friends will end up being virtue-signaling assholes, lazy do-nothings, or wannabe Instagram models with an OnlyFans. Best to keep to yourself and keep an eye on your enemies. One of them is the vice-principal, who is later exposed as a moonlighting stripper.

That crush you had in high school will go full cuck mode in a couple of years. Best to stop swooning over him. The other one will be charged for aggravated assault, so you dodged a bullet there.

Stop using Tumblr and Twitter. Both sites are a living hell and it will only get worse over time. Start using alternative sites, stick to forum sites, and start archiving everything.

Start that online website early and keep posting. You're gonna need to make one in a couple of years.

Get a part-time job and save some money. Learn some financial skills early and always ask Dad for financial advice before you start buying useless shit.

Stop saying that you're gonna kill yourself. You're on this planet for a reason (and you're too much of a pussy to do it anyway).

Don't beat yourself up over everything. Things happen, let it go, it's all in the past.

Keep a copy of that comic book you made in art class. You're going to lose it and it's going to get on your nerves for the rest of your life.

Keep your head up, speak up more, and be honest about it. You'd be surprised how many people would like to hear your views on things.

Always ask questions, even if they sound stupid. Don't put your whole trust in someone just because they have "authority" over you.

Read more classic novels, especially reread Brave New World and 1984 ('cause you'll be living in it in a couple of years).

When there's a good opportunity, fucking take it. Stop second-guessing and preempting yourself and others.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR BED AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, GODDAMNIT!


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## Idiot Doom Spiral (Nov 11, 2021)

AquaDragoness said:


> Be damn grateful and give Mom and Dad some credit, especially Dad. He put his life on the line to make sure you lived a comfortable one and Mom's still sacrificing a lot to this day.
> 
> However, don't listen to everything Mom and Dad say, especially Mom. They still think Mainstream Media is reliable through social media and believe everything on YouTube. Through that, they will become even more paranoid than before.
> 
> ...


I suspect your 15-year old self would tell you to shut the fuck up before you even got to the Vice Principal part.


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## Pruto (Nov 11, 2021)

"You'll get there... eventually"


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## AquaDragoness (Nov 11, 2021)

Mix Me a Molotov! said:


> I suspect your 15-year old self would tell you to shut the fuck up before you even got to the Vice Principal part.


Eh, you're not even wrong. I was a stubborn and dumb little shit back then.


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## A Cardboard Box (Nov 11, 2021)

Shoot every black you see


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## Great President of McHell (Nov 11, 2021)

Kill yourself before it gets this bad


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## Jasper2K (Nov 11, 2021)

Dont chase women. Chase education or trades


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## Tezin (Nov 11, 2021)

Definitely listen to mom and dad. Don't act as if your opinions matter on topics way out of your league. You aren't close to graduating highschool and you are not mentally mature enough to make serious decisions let alone understand things you shouldn't even come across. You'll only make a fool of yourself.


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## Least Concern (Nov 11, 2021)

That "Internet" thing is pretty cool and you should continue learning as much about it as possible… but for God's sake, stop looking up so much porn. Seriously, knock it off. You can handle not handling it for a few days in between sessions, Jesus Christ.

Also, in 2007, you will meet the most beautiful woman in the world at a company you're contracted out to for three weeks. Do not let her move in with you. It will be hard, but just say no.


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## Rupert Bear (Nov 11, 2021)

Call CPS on your mom. Now.


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## ♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ (Nov 11, 2021)

Stop drinking Vodka- you're way too young to be drinking to begin with and it's going to cause you serious health problems down the road- especially when you eyeball that shit. If you keep it up by the time you are 18-19 you will not be opposed to the idea of drinking brake fluid (which actually did happen)


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## L50LasPak (Nov 11, 2021)

Fuckin aye kid you were actually right about a lot of shit. Don't let people tell you any different, you'll regret it.


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## Neo-Holstien (Nov 11, 2021)

These people around you have no intentions of growing up and will seethe whenever you got ahead, work out more


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## Dialtone (Nov 11, 2021)

Don't do anything for free.


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## Dustlord (Nov 11, 2021)

Let go. Most things aren't worth the frustration.


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## Queen Of The Harpies (Nov 11, 2021)

Stop being an over emotional faggot and get better friends. Oh and stop dressing like a tard.


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## Ser Prize (Nov 11, 2021)

Join the kung fu studio that just opened in town. Also start going to the gym.


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## OrionBalls (Nov 11, 2021)

Don't start drinking.


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## stupid orc (Nov 11, 2021)

talk to pastor jess more, a lot of people will treat you like a retard but she respects you. family is kind of a lost cause, no one really talks to you after a while. spend your time learning about something useful not /mu/ bands and podcasts. don’t settle for the first or second girl that lets you fuck. a lot of people don’t want to be around you because of your “bad vibes”. jordan is a jew matt is a cuck and the others are followers. your going to spend a lot of time thinking about being gay either do it or don’t just don’t waste time. don’t settle for the first or second girl that lets you fuck. everything j, j and j say is a psyop. logan’s a good friend don’t let him go. your not as smart as other people and that’s ok. oh yeah and don’t get fat.


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## scathefire (Nov 11, 2021)

It doesn't get better.


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## Kermit Jizz (Nov 11, 2021)

THAT GIRL ON THE BUS ASKING IF YOU THINK HER FRIEND IS CUTE IS NOT PLAYING HEAD GAMES WITH YOU YOU DENSE FUCK. HER FRIEND WANTS YOUR DICK. DO IT.


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## Law (Nov 11, 2021)

Break up with her, try to enjoy things more?

I don't know, my life has taken many twists, and I'm actually happy with how some parts of it have turned out, not all but some, so maybe if I didn't do things the way I did them, I wouldn't have the good parts of my life now? 15 is such a weird age. I barely remember a lot of it.


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## RumblyTumbly (Nov 11, 2021)

Get out of your shell and talk to people. Your current friends suck and you'd be better off hanging out with normal people.

When a girl says she wants to set you up with somebody, it isn't a trap or a trick. She's serious and so is her friend.


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## Jah Hates Kaffirs (Nov 11, 2021)

Do your homework, faggot


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Nov 11, 2021)

Two things.
"Buy bitcoin now while it's cheap."
"Quit trying to make that friendship work."


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## Flavius Claudius Julianus (Nov 11, 2021)

Drop any notion of studying books, art, or any kind of creative pursuit in an institution: choose a marketable degree instead.

Start lifting weights, and get your diet in check.

Stop turning down social gatherings due to anxiety and fear. Those things ARE how you become social.


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## celebrityskin (Nov 11, 2021)

1) Get the fuck out of your hometown for a bit, it'll always be there
2) Get rid of fake friends


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## Articuno4 (Nov 11, 2021)

I'd say don't buy fucking Steam Games and Amazon cards with your Dogecoin you fucking retard

Still don't know how the hell that became valuable 7 years after I'd forgotten all about it


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## Mr Bunny (Nov 11, 2021)

Don't talk to the police without a lawyer.


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## eDove (Nov 11, 2021)

None of this okay. You're not okay either.


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## uncleShitHeel (Nov 11, 2021)

In a few years time, something called Bitcoin is going to be invented. It's not going to be worth shit when it's first a thing, but it'll eventually be worth a lot. Buy as much as you can to begin with as retiring in your early 30's would be nice.


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## Basil Julep (Nov 11, 2021)

You have an anxiety disorder and it's legit super treatable so don't put off dealing with it. Learn to drive now--don't wait forever on that. And it is very important is to have little patience for the mentally ill. You can't afford to deal with that shit. Leftists skew mentally ill so stay away from deep blue areas.


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## PaleTay (Nov 11, 2021)

Beyond the obvious stock tips, ______ loves you with all her heart and would do anything for you. Don't push her away when your dad dies.


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## Not Really Here (Nov 11, 2021)

Buy Microsoft and short Enron.


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## Pargon (Nov 11, 2021)

Give up your career path, you aren’t right for it. Go into programming.

Get into therapy as soon as you can; feeling and thinking the way you do is neither normal nor healthy. It will only get worse if you don’t.

Never stop writing or reading.

You’re going to meet a person in college. You will want to date them. Don’t.

Don’t date the people you meet in high school, either. Don’t even start until you’re been in therapy for a few years.

Your impression of drugs is based on nothing and you’re ignorant. Loosen up.

Don’t sign up for Facebook. I don’t care how much everyone wants you to.

Video games are fun but don’t let them become a habit you do just because you have free time.

People in positions of authority are not only fallible but very possibly don’t deserve to be where they are. Their decisions are not absolute nor are they de facto correct.

You are extremely mentally ill. You allow people to take advantage of you as well as intentionally fuck yourself up and you don’t even fully realize it. You will not succeed at anything until you begin to reverse this.

Shit jobs are just that. You are inclined to put your entire effort into whatever bullshit you’re doing for money. There is a difference between a job and a career. Stop stressing yourself out over washing dishes and thawing bagels. Learn to tell a shitty boss to go fuck themselves.

Above all: everyone is suffering, everywhere, all the time. You’re not special, but you’re also not alone. You already know how to empathize and be humane. If you hold on to anything, hold on to that.


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## Freya (Nov 11, 2021)

don't start drinking


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## SalmaoneSlaamper (Nov 11, 2021)

Clean your room, delete discord, go to the gym, get a job


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## SunshineSuperman (Nov 12, 2021)

1. Listen to your dad, he knows what he's talking about.

2. Don't sperg out and do overly emotional things in the heat of the moment.

3. Pick up another instrument.

4. Be more assertive. Sometimes you need to be a bit of an asshole.

5. You end up liking this guy. Don't chase after him. He's a dangerous person. Spoiler, he and his friends wind up in jail.

6. The only person you can control is yourself. Don't worry so much about other people. Just focus on bettering yourself.


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## SSj_Ness (Nov 12, 2021)

Future-based investment info aside, I'd be sure to advize myself to take care of my health and take opportunities as they come instead of being r_e_traded about it.


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## Stephen Hillenburg (Nov 12, 2021)

1 - go to therapy and get on some sort of medication asap. things don’t just get magically better as you get older, in fact you’ll find that less people care.

2 - try harder in college and don’t drop out. take programming courses and stick with them and don’t take out any loans just because someone tells you to. it’s going to fuck you over in the future when you’re broke and can’t afford to pay them back.

3 - make more friends and get closer with other people in your family. you’re going to be homeless a lot starting in 3 years and it’s going to persist for at least 7 more after that. do your best to build a large support system with people who love you and are willing to help you out. you’re going to die alone if you stay aloof your whole life.


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## Lemmingwise (Nov 12, 2021)

Travel the world while you still can.


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## IAmNotAlpharius (Nov 12, 2021)

Buy Bitcoin, Ethereum, and bet big on the Giants in the Super Bowls they play against the Patriots.


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## LordofTendons (Nov 13, 2021)

The next time dad hits you or your sister, hit him back. With a lead pipe. Really fucking hard. Everything else will fall into place if you do this.


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## KiwiFuzz (Nov 13, 2021)

None of those boys are worth it. 

Study and do your fucking homework you sped. This will especially fuck you over in math. You go on to take calculus and you get a B, but only after years of making yourself miserable. Seriously, two hours a day of work would get you A's or B's in everything and you could get the fuck out of your house before everything goes to shit.

Stay out of the assistant principal's office; she is a first order cunt and will fuck you over.

If you think someone is cool, make friends with them. 

I know you're a girl but Gabe deserves an ass-kicking and you can take him. I know this is a violation of what you said above but you will be a fucking legend.

Your uncle is from hell and so is his wife.

Be less autistic with your clothing choices.

When you get to college, get some focus and again, study and do your fucking homework you sped. You know what you generally want to study so don't fuck around with shit you don't need.

Occasionally shut the hell up.

You're not fat and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, especially your grandma.


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## Jah Hates Kaffirs (Nov 13, 2021)

Ok, so, in 2020 there's this website called "KiwiFarms" you'll a sign up for...


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## Scheele's Green (Nov 13, 2021)

Don't take free samples a stranger gives you at a bar.


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## IKOL (Nov 13, 2021)

Start learning digital art and 3d modeling ASAP.

Oh and push for that game dev education. Yes it will be expensive but worth every damn coin, else you're fucked and unwanted anywhere.


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## ZeCommissar (Nov 13, 2021)

Stop being a scared faggot about every choice you make and just fucking make one. A choice is better than none at all.

Also pick up some weights NOW and don't wait until you're already an adult to make a physical change you fucking sped

Oh and don't date that bitch you like now. Its not going to end well. Infact don't even date half of them. None of them end well. Just smash and dash if you must. These girls literally don't matter, and no you don't "love" them. Wait until you're an adult to get serious.

Buy a shit ton of Bitcoin, buy a shit ton of GME until it squeezes (look it up kid), and finally when you hear of something called SHIBA buy it at its cheapest price with all of that money you made from the first two and wait for the first large rip and jump.

Stop being the lazy intellectual at school. Just because you're usually academically smart gives you literally no excuse to be a lazy fuck. Seriously even if you never go to college (you will) its far better to have an almost perfect GPA than a subpar one just incase.

You will have a chance to get your dream career. You can very easily fuck it up. If you feel like shit is getting fucked LISTEN TO YOURSELF and stop what you're doing. This ties into the first point

That's about it tbh.


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## biozeminadae1 (Nov 13, 2021)

Do something else instead of chronic masturbation.
Please.


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## Leeroy (Nov 13, 2021)

Stop being a lazy fuck and get off your ass. Try and exercise, just cause you're a scrawny, thin bastard doesn't mean that exercise won't help with that, and complaining about being a weak shit is fucking exceptional. Fix it, shitass.

Force yourself to eat better, you might be a picky bitch but eating ramen and chicken nuggets is horrendous for your health even if you won't get fat from it. Eat more meat and veggies or whatever cause while that stuff tastes like garbage to your defective taste buds, you need to eat something better than _actual _garbage_. _You'll love olives and pepperoncinis so try those instead of junk food.

Stop comparing yourself to other people, You might not be the best or the smartest, you might not understand things and be stuck out of the loop often, but you're self-aware of your faults, and honestly that's one of the best things to be cause you can learn from your mistakes. Do so.

Most importantly, try to help your friend more. Maybe, if you start soon enough, you can stop him from making decisions he'll likely regret. If he still decides to become trans, immediately throw all your feelings towards him in the dumpster and throw said dumpster into the sun. He has a girlfriend so do it regardless, but do it even harder if he becomes trans.

Also stop jerking off so much you damn coomer, go onto this site called Kiwifarms instead. That, and play Dragalia Lost sooner, it's somehow not completely terrible despite being a gacha and you'll have the storage space for it if you stop being a horny fuck


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## God of Nothing (Nov 13, 2021)

Don't go to college unless you want to get about 10k for doing absolutely nothing. Don't go for worthless entry-level seasonal/part-time jobs. Eat more and work out. You know you can't do anything outside, so apply to every remote job you can find until you land one and start being a semi-NEET. Everything you think and feel about your family can be regarded after you're away. Whatever happens happens in that regard. 

Stop thinking less of yourself. In the end, you're the only person you could ever rely on. You know this, as I did, but don't blame yourself for that. The world is what it is. Do what you have to do. Don't get stuck though.


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## Nig Kang Theory (Nov 14, 2021)

Burn your fucking laptop, and here's how to become a normie.


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## Shadfan666xxx000 (Nov 14, 2021)

1.Get a job and hide how much you make. I know it’s a ploy by the folks to rip you off and being lazy is easier, but it’s easier to get laid with a car and you know your girlfriend deserves a ride.
2. Man up and work out. Everyone stereotyped you as a nerd but honestly, as you grow up you’ll realize you were actually really talented physically. It’s better to realize that potential now instead of in basic while you’re being bitched out by an old man for 3 months.
3. Quit doubting yourself and being cynical. You have 3 more years surrounded by horny people you’ll never see again with basically no consequences of legal note (as long as the grades are ok). You were right about being an offbeat outcast but that doesn’t mean you can’t be genuinely cool about it. Enjoy life as it comes instead of worrying too much about the future or giving into apathy. The world you’re in wants nothing less than your success and your honest effort.


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## Moderna (Nov 18, 2021)

1. Spend more time with your pets.

2. Be more selective about who you become friends with.

3. Nuke your Tumblr account.


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## Water Drinking Fish (Nov 18, 2021)

-Stop being so dependent and grow up.
-Take better care of your appearance.
-Eat a salad every once in a while. 
-The bad things in life will pass, it all gets better.
-Time heals all wounds.


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## Foghot (Nov 18, 2021)

-Some philosophy books are a lot nicer to read than you thought they were. Try reading those, it's a nice change of pace from video games and what you usually read.

-The world is a lot prettier once you stop looking at the ground. You'll learn that once you'll start studying abroad.

-Nothing lasts forever, but that doesn't mean everything is meaningless. 

-Stock up on good times, and start working out, because the events you'll face those next 5 years might break you.


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## RMQualtrough (Nov 21, 2021)

"Don't get fat. Don't change your friend group. Don't hang with trenchcoat mafia tier ex friends because they're sitting alone at lunch and you feel bad for them".


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## what the shitfuck (Nov 22, 2021)

Don't try to ruin your tits by wearing a binder. You're not a man, you're just a woman who is insecure about being a woman *because you don't know how to be a woman or accept the internal functions of it*. Go be around other women to learn how to be a woman.


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## General Tug Boat (Nov 22, 2021)

Don't put too much focus in trying to receive the validation of others.  Also stop being so negative about every aspect of your existence, have fun with the ride instead of overthinking the course the ride is going consistently.   You only have a couple of more short years until you graduate into the actual world.  Where you will realize there are no such thing as adults and wasting your time in college isn't going to get you anywhere.  It's a pay to play and most of the jobs are dog shit and will only hold back your creativity.  Keep learning but don't think that an institution designed to drain your capacity to look beyond the scope is for you.  You will only cause yourself more pain and frustration from when you inevitably come back full circle and realize that these mother fuckers trying to shill their nonsensical worldviews on you for what attributes happiness or success actually meant anything.  Find your own happy and keep pushing.  You will eventually make it!


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## Lorne Armstrong (Nov 25, 2021)

Don’t stick our dick in crazy.  No, I don’t fucking care how good she looks, don’t fucking do it.


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## Rupert Bear (Nov 30, 2021)

Build some fucking initiative. Teens legally have about the same autonomy as babies in the modern world, but that doesn't mean you have to sit on your ass 'til you're 18. Talk to more people both irl and online, lift, learn cooking and other adult life skills, maybe even take a job at McDonald's or some other part time job where they hire minors to take up some more work ethic.

Stop being a mama's boy and learn to break the rules a bit. Don't ask mommy and daddy for permission to go outside when you already know they will say 'No' 100% of the time. Stop _asking_ to do shit in general. Just fucking do it and explain yourself later. Your development and social life are more important than pleasing narcissists.

As a corollary: Learn a REAL talent or hobby that isn't just sitting on your ass playing videogames and refreshing imageboards all day. You suck at videogames and you're never going to become a streamer/e-sports pro/ speedrunner/Gaming YouTuber when all you play is obscure PS1 games on a shitty toaster PC anyway. Even something like Art or making music is gonna be far more rewarding in the long term and you will be able to make some bucks out of commissions... Or at least have a nice outlet to express your creativity.


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## theshep (Nov 30, 2021)

Don't fall in love before you turn 18. It's a waste of time and you have bad taste.

Read more and don't goof off during class. Hug your family more, you never know when they'll not be around.


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## Quixotic Son (Nov 30, 2021)

Be yourself and don't discover Chris Chan


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## Happy Fish (Dec 1, 2021)

Listen to your parents and get some real world experience. Okay sure you won't get to play as much FPS games but life after high school really is harder even if you are no longer surrounded by midwit highschoolers who want to fight you. You will instead be surrounded by midwit adults who don't even care about their surroundings.
Be nice to the obnoxious girl who is in your Japanese class because she is going to an hero her freshman year of college.
The only classes you should take seriously are your electives, not the other way around.
Just because a girl is hanging out with the bullies doesn't mean she is just making fun of you if she expresses interest, you fucking idiot.
Sports aren't working out for you because you don't give a flying shit about sports. You only like the workout. Either learn the games in your free time or don't waste so much time trying to make your dad happy. You'll make him more proud being successful at something you actually enjoy.
Dance isn't just for faggots. Nevermind that the one guy who did dance actually was a faggot. Your gut wasn't wrong about that.
Don't be afraid of driving.


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## Australianbirdfruit (Dec 1, 2021)

Happy Fish said:


> Just because a girl is hanging out with the bullies doesn't mean she is just making fun of you if she expresses interest, you fucking idiot.


Considering the tendency for most people to indulge in machiavellian faggotry, especially amongst teenagers, I'd say you shouldn't be hard on yourself at all for making this conclusion. You were wrong this time, but it's honestly a reasonable concern to have.


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## Happy Fish (Dec 1, 2021)

Australianbirdfruit said:


> Considering the tendency for most people to indulge in machiavellian faggotry, especially amongst teenagers, I'd say you shouldn't be hard on yourself at all for making this conclusion. You were wrong this time, but it's honestly a reasonable concern to have.


I wonder if I had heard the phrase "trust but verify" before High School.


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## CAPTAIN MATI (Dec 1, 2021)

Do some fucking homework, don't even think about going to college, start figuring out how value is made and how you want to make yours. Also invest in bitcoin which will be invented a few years later.


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## Bezmenov (Dec 2, 2021)

1.  Don't take the easy bullshit courses, you're obviously smart enough to do normal classes, you're just being a lazy fucker and you'll regret it down the line, trust me.
2.  Don't simp for her.  She's got mental problems and is not worth it in the long run, you'll end up wasting several good chances with other girls because you're fixated on this one.
3.  Your doctor is pushing medications on you and the diagnoses are complete bullshit.  You're a hormonal teen with emotional baggage, not mentally ill, don't take the medications.
4.  Eat less and do some push ups/sit ups.


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## Duck Fuckem (Dec 2, 2021)

1. You absolute cretin, get the cola over at the supermarket its cheaper.
2. Yeah your parents are definitely gonna split, but they'll move on fine so neither of them are gonna kill themselves. And they'll still love ya as their kid.
3. (Insert schizo-ramblings here, I wanna scare past me. Maybe just tell em about witnessing zombie outbreaks all across the US that gvmt is covering up, without mentioning the fact I've just been binging the Dead Rising games.)
4. Ask what the rain means to him.
5. dumbass don't go playing those toehoes, they'll give you autism.
6. Try and figure out if me giving him advice would actually effect me at all.


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## jje100010001 (Dec 2, 2021)

Spend more time learning the software you like, and develop your skills and hobbies- you won't get anymore time or energy to do so once you grow up!


> _I haven't done much art in recent times._



Keep on dreaming and imagining, keep that pineal gland from calcifying.


> _I find it harder to imagine things these days, feel like it was easier to visualize things in my mind when I was younger._



But also don't spend too much time chasing some hobbies (like gaming) with no real output up dead-ended creeks.


> _Too much time spent on certain games and activities with no clear payoffs._



Also start exercising, it's harder to pick up as a habit later on.


> _It's hard to get started if you haven't really figured out a routine, or stuck to it._



The trip home might be tiring, but maybe it's worth spending more time with your friends after school.


> _Would be nice to develop deeper relationships with your friends...maybe._



Encourage dad and mum to remodel and expand the kitchen, with their dual incomes it's better to do it now, and it'll be needed later on.


> _They don't have the income to comfortably do so now; and we'll probably be stuck with the old kitchen & an unused family room for a long time._


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## Shidoen (Dec 2, 2021)

You were right about that chicken.


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## Captain Syrup (Dec 4, 2021)

1. Pick a career and go with it. Don't be paralyzed with choice. 

2. Try not to speak unless spoken to.  Avoid over-sharing.

3. Don't pursue women who aren't interested. Either you vibe or you don't. (I'm still working on that one.)


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## Some Badger (Dec 6, 2021)

*1. *Don't abandon your middle school dreams: go to art school for animation. However, to save yourself a crippling amount of debt that no elected official will ever waiver, get your course requirements out of the way at a community college close to home and transfer immediately.
*1a.* When you get to that art school (if they even accept you to begin with), guard your ideals with your life. Lefties everywhere, be they teachers or fellow students, will try to shame and demean you. You'll learn in like 6 months that your views do not reflect the majority of kids in your environment at all, so prepare for the worst.

*2.* Don't be vocal about your low self-esteem. It will enable your insecurities and you won't be willing to take risks. It'll never help you get laid either.

*3.* Recognize that you have an envy problem. Don't let it control you, and don't let it discourage you from posting art.

*4.* IT'S 2013 BUY BITCOIN NAO


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## Cyclonus (Dec 7, 2021)

Stop being a pussy and kick away the stool. It won't really hurt, you'll lose consciousness in less than a minute and you'll save yourself decades of pain.


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## Mnutu (Dec 8, 2021)

Smoking is wonderful and absolutely makes you feel cooler. Also, don’t overstretch and fuck up your left knee dumbass, and get fit.


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## Spatula (Dec 8, 2021)

Just chill, things will work out.
You turn out all right, don't listen to them.


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## rage against modernity (Dec 8, 2021)

It's better to autistically look a man in the eyes instead of autistically looking away from him, don't slouch your back, drop out and join the Amish, Mormons, or Mennonites.


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## zero-who (Dec 8, 2021)

Buy Bitcoin and Ethereum. Bet a lot of money on Trump in 2016. Invest in Pfizer/Moderns/J&J stock in December 2019. Also, here's a list of every football match and their outcome for the next few years - you're welcome.


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## Over Granfalloons (Dec 9, 2021)

1. Emotional apathy is good actually and will help you go through a lot of unnecessary nonsense without suffering too much. Buy a good pair of headphones and don't give up on drawing and writing.

2. Don't go to college because you will regret it tremendously. Save your money and go to a Technical School instead.

3. Exercise is good for you so find a sport you like and start practicing it. Stop being such a sedentary sad brain. Don't delay talking to a mental health professional.

4. There's a thing called Bitcoin...give it a look on the web. It will be a big deal in a few years.

5. Learn to code as soon as possible scrub. Same goes for electronics and woodworking.

6. Unironically live up the intellectual lifestyle you always dreamed of. Go ahead and be a polyglot with a hundred different hobbies like you wanted to. The internet is right there at your fingertips and you should use it to learn as much as possible.

7. The best thing you can do in life is to live up to your beliefs and always try to be a better version of yourself. Learn from your mistakes but don't torture yourself over it. Pick yourself up and move forward. You can do it, kid.


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## Dr. Octogonapus (Dec 9, 2021)

Invest in bitcoin.

Edit: dang everyone else made the same joke that I saw on Tumblr 6 years ago.


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## Synthetic Smug (Dec 9, 2021)

It's not because you can't understand math, it's because your teacher is a creepy closet case trying to hide it with quasi religious posturing.

That girl you're crushing on so hard looks like David the Gnome. There are nice racks everywhere.

You probably are better than most of them, but it helps nobody to remind them of that.


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## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Dec 9, 2021)

Do it. You might never get an opportunity like this again and they’re just drunk enough that they won’t remember.


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## luciel (Dec 9, 2021)

please stop trying to make everyone happy  you'll still deal with it for years to come and it'll ruin your life and all your relationships bc now you will seek perfection out of everything and you'll never get it. 

also don't be so depressed go find something to do lol.


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