# Write a one-sentence shitpost



## AF 802 (Feb 10, 2018)

I'll start.

Feets per minute is how fast Dan Schneider thinks about feet.


----------



## Black Waltz (Feb 10, 2018)

Fuck you, nigger.


----------



## LofaSofa (Feb 10, 2018)

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaAaaaaa, AAAAAAAAaaaaaaAaaaaaAaaaaa,AAAAAAA: AaaaA?


----------



## NQ 952 (Feb 10, 2018)

I measure penis size in seconds.


----------



## Rand /pol/ (Feb 10, 2018)

What is "shitpost"?


----------



## OhGoy (Feb 10, 2018)

i want to die


----------



## Ilovecum (Feb 10, 2018)

Reeeeeeeeeee!


----------



## Draza (Feb 10, 2018)

Two genders.


----------



## ES 148 (Feb 10, 2018)

I took BTECs and failed.


----------



## Un Platano (Feb 10, 2018)

Is Chris getting better?


----------



## IV 445 (Feb 10, 2018)

Good.


----------



## Florence (Feb 10, 2018)

(x) is not a lolcow


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

Someone didn't flush the toilet.


----------



## Yeeb-Renzo (Feb 10, 2018)

Holy fuck, who burnt my garlic bread?


----------



## jewelry investor (Feb 10, 2018)

my third eye hurts.


----------



## Very Clever Nickname (Feb 10, 2018)

I hope you're ready for a unforgettable luncheon.


----------



## CIA Nigger (Feb 10, 2018)

I'm fucking mad my mom threw out my Acer laptop with all my furry porn on it after skipping school again.


----------



## Deadwaste (Feb 10, 2018)

*dabs on the haters*


----------



## AF 802 (Feb 10, 2018)

Very Clever Nickname said:


> I hope you're ready for a unforgettable luncheon.



AURORA BOREALIS?!?!


----------



## Pina Colada (Feb 10, 2018)

Dude, where's my car?


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

I miss Rick Santorum


----------



## Deadpool (Feb 10, 2018)

Eid lluN eid.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

Let me preface this by saying that I like the idea of fucking dogs


----------



## A Welsh Cake (Feb 10, 2018)

a one-sentence shitpost.


----------



## Canned Bread (Feb 10, 2018)

OP is a faggot.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

I'm gay


----------



## Begemot (Feb 10, 2018)

They say this cuck shit doesn't cuck anymore.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

How much wood could a woodcuck cuck if a woodcuck could cuck wood?


----------



## Tetra (Feb 10, 2018)

ur sister is a young poison yvn


----------



## RG 448 (Feb 10, 2018)

This sentence is false.


----------



## :thinking: (Feb 10, 2018)

Australia really makes you think.


----------



## Slowpoke Sonic (Feb 10, 2018)

ravioli ravioli dont lewd the dragon loli


----------



## AlephOne2Many (Feb 10, 2018)

Top Ten Anime Deaths That Were Faked


----------



## Fuck you jewish cunt (Feb 10, 2018)

How do I type sentences on Kiwi Farms pls help


----------



## ForgedBlades (Feb 10, 2018)

I've been working a real blue collar job the last month, and the sweat that accumulates under my watch band over the course of twelve hours is an incredible aroma cocktail of ball sweat, smegma, swamp ass, and cheesy feet.


----------



## Fuck you jewish cunt (Feb 10, 2018)

Tap to edit text


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

It looks like you may need some assistance


----------



## RADICALGOBLIN (Feb 10, 2018)

song at [timestamp] ?


----------



## Yellow Shirt Guy (Feb 10, 2018)

The ass was fat.


----------



## CumDumpster (Feb 10, 2018)

I'm from Tumblr, and I'm here to help.


----------



## opy702 (Feb 10, 2018)

My name jeff.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

it's fucking raw!


----------



## FemalePresident (Feb 10, 2018)

Thanks Obama


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 10, 2018)

They're not sending us their best!


----------



## heymate (Feb 10, 2018)

burp


----------



## Kari Kamiya (Feb 11, 2018)

This thread gave me cancer.


----------



## AnOminous (Feb 11, 2018)

Shitcock McFucknuggets jigaboo.


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Feb 11, 2018)

The official Abe's Odyssey penis expert


----------



## Burgers in the ass (Feb 11, 2018)

Suck my cock and eat my ass


----------



## JB 236 (Feb 11, 2018)

Traps are not gay


----------



## Fuck you jewish cunt (Feb 11, 2018)

Like this comment for a free Ipad


----------



## Timecube (Feb 11, 2018)

Please clap.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 11, 2018)

Jeb!


----------



## UncleFezziesPantsPuppet (Feb 11, 2018)

Heebs piss me off.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 11, 2018)

I'm pissed on


----------



## Un Platano (Feb 11, 2018)

⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀  ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


----------



## Hiragana (Feb 11, 2018)

Remove Kiwi


----------



## Slowpoke Sonic (Feb 11, 2018)

when you are memeing hard in pornhub and dont give a fuck


----------



## Pvt. Shitpost (Feb 11, 2018)

Jews didn't do 9/11


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 11, 2018)

7/11 was a part-time job


----------



## Mimic (Feb 11, 2018)

hi im wildchild


----------



## AF 802 (Feb 11, 2018)

internet (noun) - a place for the mentally ill to meet


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 11, 2018)

name me the conflict resolution officer!


----------



## Tetra (Feb 11, 2018)

Jojo is the homestuck of anime.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 11, 2018)

I'm stuck at home.


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Feb 12, 2018)

Every creature in oddworld is either asexual, homosexual, or has a milf fetish


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 12, 2018)

I like turtles


----------



## scared sheep (Feb 12, 2018)

PON PON WHEY WHEY WHEY


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 12, 2018)

no whey


----------



## :thinking: (Feb 12, 2018)




----------



## AnOminous (Feb 12, 2018)

Jeb can still win.


----------



## Begemot (Feb 12, 2018)

:thinking: said:


>


It really makes you think.


----------



## CWCchange (Feb 12, 2018)

GAS THE KIKES RACE WAR NOW.


----------



## Milk Mage (Feb 13, 2018)

RACE THE KIKES GAS NOW WAR


----------



## Lipitor (Feb 13, 2018)




----------



## Yamyam (Feb 13, 2018)

Y o u p i s s e d o f f G o d f o r t h e l a s t t i m e ...


----------



## TheClorax (Feb 14, 2018)

JUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 14, 2018)

A-Log watches a grown man fuck a blow-up doll


----------



## AnOminous (Feb 14, 2018)

There is literally nothing wrong with being white.


----------



## gumboman (Feb 14, 2018)

"i like white people as they have white women "

read that on a forum where some nigger & a whigger highschool kid were threatening to kill each other


----------



## Wraith (Feb 14, 2018)

CWCchange said:


> GAS THE KIKES RACE WAR NOW.


PASS THE MIKE, RAP WAR NOW.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 14, 2018)

Gas the mics.


----------



## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Feb 14, 2018)

THIS THREAD IS GAY AND YOU'RE ALL GAY FOR BEING IN IT


----------



## :thinking: (Feb 14, 2018)

I WANT TO RIDE A TRANNY DICK AND I WANT TO SPREAD MY AIDS


----------



## Francis E. Dec Esc. (Feb 14, 2018)

I am parked at the Walmart in Ruckersville as they allow overnight parking.


----------



## Syaoran Li (Feb 14, 2018)

Why must I fail every attempt at shitposting?


----------



## Sammy (Feb 14, 2018)

_"Unban me please, I've learned my lesson."_


----------



## :thinking: (Feb 14, 2018)

Traps are not gay.


----------



## Big Nasty (Feb 14, 2018)

Suck it harder


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Feb 14, 2018)

You know, Obama had some good points...


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Feb 14, 2018)

Hitler was the original feminist sjw, instead men it was the jews


----------



## Pina Colada (Feb 14, 2018)

If Milo calls Trump "Daddy", then I'm calling Hillary "Mommy"!


----------



## Autopsy (Feb 15, 2018)

Uruguay is a "real" country, isn't it?


----------



## AF 802 (Feb 16, 2018)

Alexa, do you work for the CIA?


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 16, 2018)

I was thinking of GG when I came.


----------



## neonwhite900 (Feb 16, 2018)

Mississippi Burning - Nostalgia Critic


----------



## Calooby (Feb 16, 2018)

When I die and go to heaven and see God, I'm gonna say: "SHIT!"


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Feb 17, 2018)

I have already thought of the perfect gay oddworld pornographic comic, all I need now is a artist.


----------



## Burgers in the ass (Feb 17, 2018)

RAPE


----------



## AlephOne2Many (Feb 17, 2018)

I want to be myself and just post shit online.


----------



## Syaoran Li (Feb 18, 2018)

The Union forever!


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 18, 2018)

Don't read on me


----------



## Sebben Crudele (Feb 27, 2018)

I put on my robe and wizard hat.


----------



## opy702 (Sep 9, 2018)

He's fat!


----------



## Ebonic Tutor (Sep 10, 2018)

I have no fingers and I must shitpost.


----------



## Terran Wraith (Sep 10, 2018)

Dab on them haters.


----------



## Osmotic_Cereal (Sep 10, 2018)

Suck my flaccid girl cock.


----------



## Pina Colada (Sep 11, 2018)

That's a lotta fish.


----------



## NARPASSWORD (Sep 11, 2018)

MY DUCK HUNGERS FOR TOM TOM TO POUND!


----------



## BeanBidan (Sep 11, 2018)

I like my noodles shaked not stirred.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 24, 2019)

He's skinny!


----------



## Big Nasty (Feb 24, 2019)

HEY NULL STOP BEING A DICK


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Feb 24, 2019)

I unironically like the State of Israel.


----------



## DisapprovingCorgi (Feb 24, 2019)

My kingdom for an enema!


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 24, 2019)

God Bless Palestine


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Feb 24, 2019)

*[splash]* wat was that


----------



## Bread Fetishist (Feb 24, 2019)

Testicles, that is all.


----------



## Remove Goat (Feb 24, 2019)

You spoony bard!


----------



## Mr. A. L. Mao (Feb 24, 2019)

The Jews did this


----------



## Unog (Feb 24, 2019)

"Gib" and by extension "giblets" are pronounced with a "g" sound like "green", not "j" like "jesus christ english isn't hard".


----------



## Niggernerd (Feb 24, 2019)

Augh yeaaa


----------



## AF 802 (Feb 24, 2019)

Kiwi Farms, 2013-2019


----------



## deodorant (Feb 24, 2019)

eh.


----------



## AtaraxiaNeurotica (Feb 24, 2019)

What a little asshole


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Feb 24, 2019)

Homosexuality is a _SIN_ against *GOD* and a _SHAME_ upon the *NATION*.


----------



## Beta Faggot (Feb 25, 2019)

Reminds me of the time I wrote a sexfic about Cat in the Hat in 6th grade.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 25, 2019)

I'm gay


----------



## Lydia of Whiterun (Feb 25, 2019)

9-11 was pretty hilarious.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Feb 25, 2019)

I like pie.


----------



## guccigash (Feb 25, 2019)

du Pont heir Robert H Richard raped his own 3 year old daughter over and over and was convicted (his son too but never got charged) but never served his sentence because he's rich.


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 25, 2019)

She is fat but I would have sex with her.


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Mar 2, 2019)

I read all of @Secret Asshole 's posts with Michael Fassbender's voice in my head


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 3, 2019)

I am, in fact, Jean Binet Ramsy.  They added a dick to me and then tried to tell me I've always been a dude.


----------



## AltisticRight (Mar 6, 2019)

Jewish lives matter.


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Mar 6, 2019)

IBS did nothing wrong.


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 6, 2019)

I am smart...BAZINGA!


----------



## Bob's Vagene (Mar 6, 2019)

Jesus is love.


----------



## Teri-Teri (Mar 6, 2019)

Nanana~


----------



## PT 940 (Mar 6, 2019)

You're a big stupid-head


----------



## TowinKarz (Mar 6, 2019)

LOL, neck yourself.


----------



## Jmz_33 (Mar 6, 2019)

Gamers rise up.


----------



## Army Burger (Mar 6, 2019)

Fuck the police


----------



## Mr. A. L. Mao (Mar 6, 2019)

Eat shit niglet


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Mar 6, 2019)

There is nothing wrong with either laugh tracks or _The Big Bang Theory_.


----------



## SpicyRamen (Mar 6, 2019)

"I like the new board design."


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Mar 6, 2019)

We need to rewrite our entire software stack in Rust.


----------



## Army Burger (Mar 6, 2019)

Mao did nothing wrong


----------

