# The Most Autistic Dream You've Ever Had



## thismanlies (Apr 24, 2020)

What's the most autistic dream you've ever had? I had one last night that was so autistic it needs to see the light of day.

I dreamed I was watching a movie in China where it was Assassin's Creed but it took place in the Sonic the Hedgehog universe. But the Chinese fucked with the subtitles so Dr. Robotnik, who was the head of the Templar Order, wound up being some allegory for American capitalism and Sonic, who was the master assassin of the Mobius Assassin's Bureau, was in charge of spreading communism to all the places being oppressed by Robotnik's capitalist machines. There was one scene where a fleet of Robotnik's airships, with giant iron crosses painted on them, were raining artillery fire on the city. Sonic and his friends had to parkour around the city by vaulting themselves over pieces of rebar and grinding on iron girders to get to Robotnik's airship. Anyway it ends with Sonic doing a homing attack on Robotnik and his quills turning into hidden blades.


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## Kari Kamiya (Apr 24, 2020)

I wish I could tell you, but from what I _can_ remember ever since I was young, all my dreams are pretty autistic because I dunno how else to explain how _weird_ they get. If I can find/remember which is the _weirdest_ autistic dream I've ever had, I'll post it.


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## A Welsh Cake (Apr 24, 2020)

One where I was trapped in some old ruins and had to rely on Naruto for help.
Son of a bitch left me to rot as well too.


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## JULAY (Apr 24, 2020)

I was in a watery maze looking for my heartsweet and then I found her and she gave me china.


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## Old Spicy (Apr 24, 2020)

Last night I dreamed that my uncle and I were trying to save a pig in a hockey-mask from being eaten by alligators.


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## Kari Kamiya (Apr 24, 2020)

Okaaaaay I came across this and I have no clue what the fuck I just read, but this was something I had apparently dreamed of a few years back. Good luck trying to make sense of this.

"I don't remember too much now, but apparently I was a daughter of a goddess or something and there were strange, freaky things going on after she had disappeared/was abducted or whatever and I was desperately trying to find her to no avail. Then at some point, this creature called 'Muda' (or whatever) had been causing mischief since it was a shape-shifter and tended to frame people it would steal the identity of, so thinking it was the one responsible for my mother's disappearance, sought after it, only to end up turning into the Easter Bunny from _Rise of the Guardians_ when I had him in my grasp after finding out he wasn't the real Saitama. Then I was getting suspicious about a friend when he started using a different Skype account to contact me."


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## GHTD (Apr 24, 2020)

The other night I had one that I was on Karasuno's team from _Haikyuu!! _and we all traveled to Wuhan to purposely give each other COVID-19.


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## Icasaracht (Apr 24, 2020)

I haven't woken up from it yet.


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## Brundlefly (Apr 24, 2020)

Probably any dream where I'm on the internet and am trying to read something. Since I can't actually read in a dream I get frustrated.


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## Bunny Tracks (Apr 24, 2020)

That one where I had to play dodgeball in a grocery store with the Espada.


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## wokelizard (Apr 24, 2020)

I dreamed of a seagull. But it was tame and let me pick it up, and I actually remember being impressed that I could see its webbed orange feet and that they were causing touch sensations. I reckon I was right on the verge of lucidity but never realised 'oh lol you're dreaming rn' :< But it was vivid and I checked afterwards what seagulls look like up close and yeah it was accurate so well done subconcious I couldn't draw a seagull for shit but you manage to dream it up for me really accurately. Also I want to set up some high frame rate cameras all around some fighting seagulls from a few angles and use them as data for pose estimation and then use that to train a simseagull to fly and fight with others over food to survive maybe if I get super bored.


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## Woke Blue Muttlema (Apr 24, 2020)

I had a dream that I was the older sister figure to one of my sisters dolls. She treated me with respect and love I saw her grow until she was my size.
My relationship with that doll that didnt exist is better that the one I have with my actual sister.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Apr 24, 2020)

I had a dream about a werewolf once and that's the closest I'll ever be to the Shadow the Hedgehog fandom.


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## sasazuka (Apr 24, 2020)

Corm said:


> Probably any dream where I'm on the internet and am trying to read something. Since I can't actually read in a dream I get frustrated.



Related dream: I'm trying to type something on a keyboard that only has ten letters.


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## cumrobbery (Apr 24, 2020)

I was being arrested and the cops forgot what they were supposed to arrest me for and I was trying to help them remember, it ended up being something extremely petty but I was still charged for "resisting arrest"


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## Massa's Little Buckie (Apr 24, 2020)

I dreamed that Null was an actual dog I was taking care of.


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## Boris Blank's glass eye (Apr 24, 2020)

Out of the ones I can remember: repeating a written exam just because I didn't like the way I signed the first page.


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## JambledUpWords (Apr 24, 2020)

Years ago I dreamed I was in Soviet Russia during the Cold War. I guess I was in Siberia because it was just a giant arctic tundra. I was wearing a skimpy formal dress, and wasn’t cold. In the dream I saw Russia parading giant tanks with flags of different countries. My mind thought it was the Winter Olympics: Soviet Edition. The dream also had Richard Nixon in it. After the tank celebration and talking to Nixon, my dream ended.


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## DinnerDog (Apr 24, 2020)

A couple nights ago I dreamt that I was watching Breaking Bad with some ambiguous dream-person who was seeing it for the first time and it got to the part where   Hank gets shot except in my dream the shot propels him like 70 feet into the air and the bullet enters his skull in slow mo and explodes for some autistic reason. He survives this and some secret government organisation are watching from a distance and are like “god damn it, looks like we failed”

I remember dream me thinking  “holy shit this is some great writing they better be enjoying this”


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## Dwight Schrute (Apr 24, 2020)

I drove a truck into a gas station and it exploded GTA V style.


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## Hal (Apr 24, 2020)

I burned alive in my car once I think, wasn't pleasent


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## drain (Apr 24, 2020)

people being nice to each other


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## RA-5C Vigilante (Apr 25, 2020)

I had a Kiwi Farms account and posted frequently.

_Wait _


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## No Exit (Apr 25, 2020)

I once had a dream where I had two dogs and started crying out of guilt because I couldn't remember one of the dog's names and they've been my companion for over a decade.

Had a laugh when I woke up I cause I've never had two dogs. The one I recognized was my childhood dog.

Also I've had the occasional DBZ dream. As autistic as it is, flying around shooting ki blasts and fighting is fun.


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## Spooky Bones (Apr 25, 2020)

I had a dream that took place on Kiwi Farms. I don't know if anyone else gets Internet dreams but occasionally I do, and I assure you, it's very autistic.


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## Rice Is Ready (Apr 25, 2020)

When Fallout 3 first came out I played it so long I would have dreams about it. I just remember having a gun that shot buzzsaw blades and a sexy leather clad follower watching my back.


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## Midlife Sperglord (Apr 25, 2020)

I dreamt that I was on stage with Dream Theater and that I was expected to play the drums.  I do not know how to play the drums.  Tomatoes were tossed at me on the stage. It was an interesting nightmare, destroying one of my favorite bands like that.


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## Book Thief (Apr 25, 2020)

I once had a dream where I was playing Dwarf Fortress. Yes, my dream was in ASCII.


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## Niggernerd (Apr 25, 2020)

Back when i had ferrets. I once had a dream both of them got out of their cage and their ears became mini heli rotors. They lifted up with their bodies dangling and chased my cat making helicopter noises


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## drfuzzyballs (Apr 25, 2020)

I dreamed I was in a diner in Barrow Alaska and got in a fight with a drunkard. 


I have never been to Alaska


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## Duncan Hills Coffee (Apr 25, 2020)

Probably any dream where I'm just playing a video game, like Metal Gear Solid 4 or something.


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## Detrogen (Apr 25, 2020)

Back in 2008 I had a dream where a game I was really hyped for came out and for some reason I stuffed it under my pillow. When I woke in the morning I actually checked to see if it was there.


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## Applejack (Apr 25, 2020)

I once dreamt that there was a wild animal in my room that kept biting me under the covers. So I tried shoo it away, then I tried to give it some food, but it kept getting under my covers and biting my leg. So threw his ass out the window, shut it, and went back to bed. 5 mins later something bit me again, it was this fucking thing, so I bashed it over the counter and threw it out the window again. And this repeat until I woke up, I still get a little cautious before I go to bed.

That's probably as autistic as it gets.


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## Dwight Frye (Apr 25, 2020)

Way back when the N64 was still going, I had a dream that I bought a copy of Perfect Dark, but inside the box was just a block of ground beef, no game. Decided to make a campfire in the middle of my bedroom, cook the meat and eat it.


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## tasty humane burger (Apr 25, 2020)

1. Had a dream when I was younger that I played Mario Kart Double Dash with the US President and UK Prime Minister.

2. Also had a dream I took a temper tantrum at my (old) work and walked out because someone criticised the way I did something.


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## Trigger Me Timbers (Apr 25, 2020)

Had a dream I got banned from here and woke up upset.


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## Bender (Apr 25, 2020)

Had a dream that after a long day shitposting all the Kiwi Farmers went to a pub and had a party. You were all your avatars, so there was a golden Bender chatting with Walter from The Big Lebowski. It was kind of like an autistic VR chat.

ETA: It was kind of line an _even more_ autistic VR chat.


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## Pinot Pierrot (Apr 25, 2020)

I had a dream several years ago where I was in a subway station and stumbled upon an art display of the night sky.  Then the stars began to glitter, and I proceeded to lose all motor control and convulsed into an epileptic fit.


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## The 3rd Hooligan (Apr 25, 2020)

I bit Mark Zucc for cheating in Solitaire so he banned me from internet


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Apr 26, 2020)

To this day the best dream I've ever had was the one where Dee Snider of Twisted Sister told me that I had inherited the family lumberyard. There was a several year long period in which I was having super weird and vivid dreams that I can still recall to this day. I used to keep a dream diary and write all this weird shit down but I lost it.

The other night I had a super weird one- I was back in my 12th grade year and on the verge of graduating. For some reason our graduating class had an official class quilt that a small committe was tasked with creating. One of the guys in the committe had some kind of obsession with the idea of puke golems (best way I can describe it, it was some kind of green sludgy entity that he made shitty DeviantArt-tier art of people being attacked by) Also it is important to mention that in this dream universe, Hitler and his wife did not die via suicide but in a plane crash. Why is this relevant? Becasue weird puke-golem man decided to illustrate this event with his puke golem character assulting the passengers of the plane, causing the chaos that lead to the plane crash. He proceeded to take four illustrations, transfer them onto fabric, and sew them onto our class quilt. Seeing how the quilt was now an utter disaster the rest of us threw up our hands and said fuck it, let's sew some swastikas on to the thing to round it all out.

The school was understandably a little upset, so upset in fact that the entire quilt committee was denied graduation and sentenced to join the crew of a massive fishing boat for some length of time. Getting to the docks where I would find said ship involved sprinting through the hillsides avoiding thousands of snakes, only some of which I was able to identify as non-venemous. Life on the ship was cold and grueling and being quickly overtaken and enslaved by pirates didn't really help matters much. I woke up sometime after Puke-Golem Boy had been dumped into a scummy cistern and left to suffer for the next week.


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## LordofTendons (Apr 26, 2020)

-An episode of Buffy the Vampire slayer, including music score, that had Buffy fighting an army of demon squirrels with little red glowing eyes.

-An alien invasion in the dark of night, and I was dating Charlie Sheen. The aliens were moving in and we were under heavy fire, and all the people around me could do was nag me about dating Charlie Sheen. I kept asking them if they could please focus on the problem at hand, but oh fucking no, they had to keep questioning my personal life. I never actually saw Charlie Sheen or aliens in this dream. Just green glowing ships and a bunch of idiots I knew in real life.


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## Wilted Farm (Apr 26, 2020)

I once had a wet dream where I fucked my bed, like full on humping.


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## Dimetrodon (Apr 27, 2020)

Had a dream where I got into an argument with someone about whether a game ran at 60 FPS or not. It's almost like Total Biscuit sent me that dream from the after life.


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## Sunday School Dropout (Apr 28, 2020)

I keep having these recurring dream where I’m back in school and keep skipping math class. I usually end up with a giant black binder full of empty algebra homework sheets by the end of it.


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## Joe Swanson (May 9, 2020)

I robbed a gas station with Null and some other guys, but instead of stealing money we just stole food, water and laptops. Then we all went to a forest and went camping


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## King Daddy Telomerase (May 9, 2020)

Sudoku puzzles and various numerical statistics rotating around me, which is what I dream every night. Asperger's is fun. At least it's better than constantly dreaming about my oneitis.


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## Webby's Boyfriend (May 9, 2020)

I had two nightmares when I was a kid which I still remember up to today. 

The first one was like when I was in grade school in like the early 2000s when I dreamed that I was chasen around my town by monsters. Then it came to a showdown with their leader who was tens of metres tall and a flying chimaera of a manta ray and bat. It made me fear falling asleep for weeks. 

The second one was like over 10 years ago, in like the late 2000s, when we had just moved to a new home. It was about a meteor impact in my neighbourhood, which caused a global EMP and total collapse of human civilization.


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## Timmy Testicles (May 9, 2020)

a few months back i had a dream where i was at the zoo with some friends and family, near a gorilla enclosure. for whatever reason the door was unlocked, so we all went inside. we took a bunch of pictures and shit but on the way out, i saw a tiny gorilla on a leaf. like, a full grown gorilla. but it's an inch tall. i couldn't stop laughing, i thought it was the funniest shit ever. i actually can't remember anything else because i couldn't stop laughing at the tiny ape.


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## Plunkie (May 14, 2020)

A friend's husband dies in some unfortunate freezing accident in a refrigerated warehouse that's under construction but semi-functional. Me and a friend pull a Gram Parsons-esque heist by pretending to be construction workers in order to recover his body. Frozen solid in a cube of ice, this guy looks like Stephen Paddock but he owns a line of frozen food items and is the face of all their advertisements. We shove the Paddock-cube in a cardboard box, strap it to my back, and jump down a series of construction cranes to get back to the ground.  Halfway through the trip we get distracted by a restaurant called Melt's that will deep-fry anything you give them. I hand them my police badge(?) and they give me a bowl of chili


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## saisegeha (May 14, 2020)

I had a dream where my neighbor came over (he's quite the crackhead) because he wanted to borrow some cacao powder.
I let him in but told him "whoever dares to take my cacao shall give me something in return" so I told him to put his hand on my kitchen table, which he did. I got out a knife and cut his index finger off, he started screaming "what the hell are you doing I just wanted to make some chocolate milk" and I go "shhh, one finger per spoon" –  this then went on with me taking 8 of his fingers and bandaging his hands, giving him the entire box of cacao powder.

...later that dream there was some sort of *30 minutes later* skip where I knocked on his door with scissors and then the dream ended.
I have no fucking idea why that dream happened, but I'll never eat steak like 10 minutes before bed again.


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## AnaV (May 21, 2020)

As a kid, I once had a dream where the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles looked all fucked up, hunted me down and killed me, on the Fourth of July.


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## NARPASSWORD (May 21, 2020)

Just last night, I had a nightmare that went like this:
I was part of a secret organization dedicated to "putting a stop to psycho bitches everywhere". Me and my blue purple furred kangaroo partner were tasked on putting a stop to Tara Strong's Twitter and Uber misadventures. We decided that the best course was to drop in unannounced to a party hosted by Tara and included several members of PETA and ANTIFA. Unfortunately, my kangaroo partner was kidnapped and brainwashed by Tara, who told her what our plan was before I could act on it; I then got captured by Tara's cohorts of Twitter followers and then force to watch My Little Pony to teach me about the evils of Trump. That was when I woke up.
Also, Tara Strong ate her own shit.


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## Queen_Ree (Mar 21, 2021)

The other night I was woken up abruptly by a loud sneeze and the dream I was having at the time was me in a panic trying to figure out who neg rated me on the dream version of Kiwi Farms.  
Told you it was autistic @Bender


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## Bender (Mar 21, 2021)

Queen_Ree said:


> The other night I was woken up abruptly by a loud sneeze and the dream I was having at the time was me in a panic trying to figure out who neg rated me on the dream version of Kiwi Farms.
> Told you it was autistic @Bender


To be fair apparently a few people had autistic dreams about the Farms, but you're the only one to dream about getting negrated though, lol.


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## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Apr 19, 2021)

I had one where modern Chris-Chan was trying to play pranks at me at a gas station, but I kept outsmarting him. That's when I get a message to stall him/her so I notice that Chris is hiding in a box of cereal. I tell Chris what a loser he/she is and while some cops run into a room and free four females that Chris had captured (one woman, 3 girls). That's when the cops arrest Chris and let me read him  his rights.


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## Syaoran Li (Apr 19, 2021)

Me sitting on the porch of my childhood home with Noctis, Tuxedo Mask, Motoko Kusanagi, and Seto Kaiba, all four of us were drinking Pepsi and singing along to old bluegrass songs.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Apr 21, 2021)

I once dreamed that I volunteered for Brianna Wu's archeological expedition after losing a drunken bet the night before. I was hungover and decided to dress like a woman. The whole thing was a shit show, they had no planning or equipment. When I arrived Wu was walking around and stabbing the lawn next to a high school football field with a tree branch, trying to [???] while Frank watched. Wu was looking for Plato's lost tablet, why it would be in Boston I don't know. I took some initiative and took Frank to one of those stores that sells construction materials and garden stuff so he could pay for some shovels and other basic shit.
At the end of the dream Wu attacked me because he thought I was trying to seduce his celestial pay-pig but I was actually trying to take a nap on the cool concrete floor of a shack.


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## Solid Snek (Apr 21, 2021)

I had a dream where I was on Deviantart, looking up pictures of my waifu. I found a whole bunch of new ones, really great ones that all had at least 90% or more of the elements that I look for in fanart of my waifu - only I couldn't save them because the network was being finicky. Also, I was logged in on a private browser, so my history wasn't saved, and I was all "oh no, if I don't save these now, I'll never find them again!"

I actually started waking up IRL at this point, and I got really panicky, because I knew if I woke up and stopped the dream, I'd never see those pix again. So I forced myself to stay in bed and fall asleep again - which sort of worked, only now I was in a doujin shop, buying rolls of waifu fanart out of a bin, and I obviously couldn't save those to my harddrive, because they were prints and not computer files. So I gave up, and after trying to convince a squirrel to locate my sister (who had turned into a half-demogorgon and was trying to murder either Johnny Depp or that guy who played Hannibal for some reason) I let myself wake up.

Of course, I forgot what the pictures looked like a minute or two after waking, which was sad... then I noticed this thread on Kiwi Farms, and here we are.


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## 737 MAX Stan Account (Apr 21, 2021)

I vaguely remember having a dream about driving a crime fighting mustang. Probably because my mind is subconsciously trying to justify buying a mustang.


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## Bender (Apr 22, 2021)

My tablets are really fucking with me, I'm having an allergic reaction to one of them, so my dreams are kinda weird. 

Literally "dreaming" of random KF threads where users just talk nonsense. I'm not even asleep, it's when I'm laying in bed and being all comfy, and then random posts (that my brain made up) just pop into my head. It's quite annoying but often they're pretty funny. The problem is they just won't stop and it keeps me awake when I just want to sleep.


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Apr 24, 2021)

I might have briefly mentioned this in the weird dreams thread.

I was walking in a busy downtown area. At some point, a male voice from behind me says, "I cooked the clock," in a rather casual tone and just loud enough for me to hear over the din.  I turned my head to try to see who said it, but there were enough people out walking that there was no way for me to identify who said it or why they'd say something so nonsensical.

I immediately woke up with the same "WTF?" reaction I had as my in-dream response.


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## 5574 (Apr 28, 2021)

one time i dreamed that an ex FtM BF of mine and i had grown old together and had a gay family of 2.5 kids and a house in an exurb of NYC or a similarly high population metro area. we were very happy together and life felt perfect in it. we taught our kids to be reasonable, healthy, happy people who could take care of themselves physically and mentally. it was nice to feel proud in-dream of our successful family



Kiwi Lime Pie said:


> I might have briefly mentioned this in the weird dreams thread.
> 
> I was walking in a busy downtown area. At some point, a male voice from behind me says, "I cooked the clock," in a rather casual tone and just loud enough for me to hear over the din.  I turned my head to try to see who said it, but there were enough people out walking that there was no way for me to identify who said it or why they'd say something so nonsensical.
> 
> I immediately woke up with the same "WTF?" reaction I had as my in-dream response.



? he was simply reminding you that he cooked the clock like you asked him. don't be such a dick dude. god damn


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## Yuuichirou Kumada (Apr 28, 2021)

Lately, I've been dreaming I kiss women I never felt any attraction to, despite finding them pretty.

For instance, last week I dreamed I reconnected with an old workmate of mine. I never found her particularly interesting, especially since I left our job - by that time, she was married and was expecting her first child. But there I was, hugging and kissing her during a break on her shift.

And last night I dreamed I kissed Ami from Sailor Moon of all people, fictional or otherwise. Not only that, I kept calling her "Ami-chan" despite my distaste for using Japanese honorifics in languages that don't require them at all.


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## Dom Cruise (Apr 28, 2021)

I had a dream several months ago where I was hanging out with the anime character Matsurika, a female maid, from the anime Maria Holic.

To make matters stranger, we were wandering around some fisherman's wharf type area.


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## DyingStarsForever (Apr 28, 2021)

Brundlefly said:


> Probably any dream where I'm on the internet and am trying to read something. Since I can't actually read in a dream I get frustrated.


This happened to me just the other night. I was chatting with a coworker about an upcoming project and it was just all the wrong things about chatting rolled up into one. I made spelling errors, we kept typing after the other person had already sent, had to start over, messages were missed, the screen was dim and the font hard to read, etc. Really frustrating but waking up I can't describe it as anything but "autistic".


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## Bucka (Apr 28, 2021)

Had one this morning. Someone on a forum posted that they were going to broadcast on 366.75Mhz and to tune in. So got out my little radio, tuned in, heard some beeps and a song played. After the song, everyone that was listening in radio'd on the same frequency to cheer and say thanks, but because of half-duplex transmission we had to wait one at a time to cheer.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Apr 28, 2021)

I dreamt I was on the Eric Andre show


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## Gravemind (Apr 28, 2021)

Bucka said:


> Had one this morning. Someone on a forum posted that they were going to broadcast on 366.75Mhz and to tune in. So got out my little radio, tuned in, heard some beeps and a song played. After the song, everyone that was listening in radio'd on the same frequency to cheer and say thanks, but because of half-duplex transmission we had to wait one at a time to cheer.


You sure you didn't just fall asleep listening to Reviewbrah/TheReportOfTheWeek?


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## Brett DeLawyer (Apr 28, 2021)

Dreamt that Chris-chan lived in a high school and asked me to find homes for all his pets, so I agreed, thinking it was just cats. Then I discovered he had multiple large, exotic pets like tigers/alligators/elephants stashed around the school, and was desperately trying to keep them from eating each other or escaping while I figured out wtf to do with them because I had promised to help.


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## Jeff Boomhauer (Apr 29, 2021)

I have too many to count, but I'll just rewrite one that I posted in the Weird Dreams thread not long ago.

I was back in Jr. High school, and I was friends with a young Rich Evans from Red Letter Media. We were just leaving class, talking about some TV show, and then he went somewhere else.
Suddenly, I was approached by Jimbo and Kearney from The Simpsons, and they asked me where Rich Evans was at, because they wanted to beat him up. They told me they'd give me $20 if I told them.

I told them and as soon as they left, I felt horrible, like I had betrayed my only friend in the world. I ran off to find Rich Evans, only to find that the bullies had already found him. Except, they weren't beating him up. They were having a conversation about Star Trek, or something. Rich asked me what was the matter, and then I just woke up on the spot.


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## Bunny Tracks (Apr 29, 2021)

One time, I dreamt I was on my computer, and my neighbor busted down my door, and started screaming at me for having too many toasters.

I, for some reason, knew that he meant tabs open on my browser, and tried to argue that I didn't because I only had four, and he just kept screaming at me, and I just woke up because I didn't want to have to deal with his bullshit even in my dreams.


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## Disgruntled Pupper (Apr 29, 2021)

A few weeks ago I was having a fairly normal dream where I was more or less going about my normal work day with an actual coworker and an old coworker who wasn't even on this job. We had just got done driving in the work truck when irl I heard  bird calling outside my window. Immediately my two coworkers stopped what they were doing and the truck and the background of the dream dissappeared so that we were just standing in a grey plane. One of them told me to wake up to hear better, so I did, rolled over and listened to a few calls and then fell back asleep and into the dream. My coworkers were still there and we immediately began to debate about what the bird was, with one strongly insisting it was a Summer Tanager. Me and the other guy weren't so sure, but the first guy demanded I wake back up and report it on eBird because he knew it was a Summer Tanager.

Turns out it wasn't a Summer Tanager, it was a Yellow-Headed Blackbird. Don't try to ID birds in your sleep, kids.


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## Sped Xing (Apr 30, 2021)

Last night I dreamed that I was talking to @CatParty , who was a pink cat like his avatar, about how we missed a user called "OK" and hoped they weren't dead.

Dreaming about the farms is pretty autistic, right?


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Apr 30, 2021)

Does it make me an NPC that I rarely have the vivid, detailed dreams of you all?


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## Captain Syrup (Sep 21, 2021)

I rarely remember my dreams.  I did have one dream which still haunts me:  Patrick Stewart's bald head superimposed on a woman's body.   What does that say about me?  I don't want to know.


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## sasazuka (Sep 21, 2021)

I dreamt the other day that I summoned the ghost of the late Garfield and cartoon Peter Venkman voice actor Lorenzo Music but all he wanted to talk to me about was Scientology and he wouldn't even do the Garfield voice (which doesn't even make sense since Lorenzo Music just used his regular speaking voice for most characters but it was a stupid dream).

As far as I know, Lorenzo Music wasn't even a Scientologist so I dunno where that dream came from.


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## Shitted Scaredless (Sep 21, 2021)

Not so much a dream story as it is about what I can only describe as my "dream world". I call it that because all my dreams are weirdly vivid and, despite all being different dreams, they all take place in the same world. Which by that I mean is the weird dream versions of places I go or have been. Those? Those are all constant enough to where I can remember going to them from previous dreams in a current dream, as if it's just part of dream mes life. 

So yea. I apparently created an autistic whole other world.


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## jason analberg (Sep 30, 2021)

I had a really weird dream where I was a mercenary robbing a bank, and the guy who organized the robbery was a skeleton that could vaporize you if you looked in his eyes.


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## OvercookedBacon (Sep 30, 2021)

Last night, had one where I was going through a Wipeout or MXC style obstacle course, and after I made it to the end Charlton Heston congratulated me with a handshake.


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## Bill Dauterive (Sep 30, 2021)

I dreamt about OP once


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## Elaine Miller (Sep 30, 2021)

I’ve had MULTIPLE dreams about my thread(s), Lolcow Farm, Null & being physically trapped in KF, like as in, my body embedded in the actual website. Take your pick.


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## Citizen Lain (Sep 30, 2021)

I have a lot of dreams where I say or do something autistic and then get mocked for it.


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## Probably a deer (Oct 1, 2021)

The one I had last night might as well have been the most autistic and boring dream I ever had. Just a whole night long dream of me sorting bags on a trolley at an airport. And the damn things had to be sorted by colour.


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## Realistic Elephant (Oct 1, 2021)

Last night was a contender - involved going up and down stairs in what looked like a school with a window overlooking a gymnasium. I did get really fast at going down the stairs by the end. The power went off once for some reason but there were those emergency lights so I could see.  It came back on too.

That's it.


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## Bogs (Oct 1, 2021)

Three dreams come to mind:

I once had a dream where I was playing a version of Final Fantasy VIII which focused solely on Selphie.
Another one involved me trying to find a pencil in order to write a letter to my friend (I also had to sharpen said pencil.)
Finally, I dreamt the periodic table of Elements had been replaced by some DNA strand like interface which I couldn't understand. Nobody could figure out what I was talking about when I told them about the table or Mendeleev. When I awoke I genuinely thought they had gotten rid of it.


----------



## DoomsdayElite (Oct 1, 2021)

Recently, I had a dream about buying black metal vinyls with Willem Dafoe.


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## Mr. Krinkle (Oct 2, 2021)

This morning I dreamt that my friend's bald head was covered in all these cracks like you would see on an egg and I was poking holes in them with my fingers and you could see egg yolk inside his head, he also had these same cracks on his shoulders and collar bones.


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## Samir (Oct 2, 2021)

I had a dream in which I was dating a rich catgirl. And a few days ago, I had a dream where Joe Biden was fighting a personal war against Diabloesque demons. I remember the last words he spoke before my alarm woke me up were "I have wept for the widows of one hundred of my men, may I not weep for one more."


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## Big Ruski (Oct 2, 2021)

I dreamt I had a girlfriend a while back. We were about to do the dirty deed until my mother, who I haven't seen in years, kicked through the door and told me I couldn't have sex until I was 50. Then I woke up and laughed because she used to always say that shit when I was a kid.


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## Cool kitties club (Oct 6, 2021)

I had a dream where I was a cat once. Felt so good to run around freely with the wind in my fur. I also once dreamed I lived in mansion with some people I know and sonic the hedgehog ad rei from evangelion.


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## ハーンバガー (Oct 10, 2021)

I had this dream where I was observing this furry game and they were having fun before this guy comes out of nowhere and lines their secret base with TNT. Then he lights this explosion trail on fire and the furries have to watch their base be destroyed. One of the characters looked like Disney's Robin Hood and so he was like "You don't have to do this!" When all the TNT exploded he started crying before saying "I'm going to report you to the police in real life!" The griefer got scared and that's when I woke up.


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## Neurotypical Mantis (Oct 31, 2021)

the psycho mantis ones


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## Pissmaster (Dec 18, 2021)

Had a nice dream where I found a bunch of old iMacs on the curb; someone was throwing them out and had multiples of every color, and I was packing my car full of them

These kinds:



and I was all excited and was gonna go home and test them all and try to fix whatever's broken on them and just have a shitload of iMacs

that's the happiest dream I've had all year


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## DoomsdayElite (Dec 18, 2021)

I had a dream last night about a cybernetic Jeff Goldblum battling a cybernetic Bronson Pinchot and even for the kinds of dreams I have, it was exceedingly autistic. Jeff hurled a hunting knife right into the back of Bronson's head and he began to short out and his whole body violently convulsed and exploded. Weird shit.


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## jewelry investor (Dec 18, 2021)

Any dream involving the last video game I played.


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Dec 18, 2021)

Honestly?  It was about the recent-ish Sonic the Hedgehog film as well (autism magnent way too good for what it’s worth).  Eggman is talking to the military/CIA folks and he mentions how placing trackers on all of China’s products to optimize the supply chain was his 2nd greatest acomplishement.  The CIA stooge then asks:

“What was you 1st greatest accomplishment?”

Eggman: why, tracking all of YOUR consumer goods!

Government folk then get uneasy while Sonic, sitting in the room, is chill about the whole thing.

Other than that, I had a dream where my mother pummeled me with a 2X4 in a Lowe’s parking lot (still don’t know wtf that was about, lol).


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## Secret Messages (Dec 18, 2021)

Detrogen said:


> Back in 2008 I had a dream where a game I was really hyped for came out and for some reason I stuffed it under my pillow. When I woke in the morning I actually checked to see if it was there.


I had this exact same experience except it wad about a psp. Might be an autism rite of passage, I was legitimately disappointed all day afterwards.


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## OvercookedBacon (Dec 18, 2021)

Had one a few nights ago where Kamala Harris was threatening to throw me in prison because I owed a fast food place a few dollars. Before I even went to the counter to order anything.


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## Bender (Dec 19, 2021)

About a week ago I had a dream that @Null popped into boogie's thread and said, and I remember the post exactly: "lol boogie died"

It was so vivid that I actually thought boogie had died and instantly went to check his thread when I woke up.


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## ForgedBlades (Dec 19, 2021)

I had a banger last night.

Hillary Clinton launched a plan to crash the moon into the Earth. Really great visuals throughout the dream. Me and my high school friends were going to stop it. We gathered at the Barnes & Noble in my home town and discovered a way where we could be reborn as stereotypical capeshit superheroes. I had to execute them by shooting them in the back of the head and then do some ritualistic prayer thing and they would be resurrected with super powers. I could travel through power lines. Was pretty kino.


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## Gravemind (Dec 19, 2021)

Recently had a dream that was themed as a Star Trek TOS-era episode, and I was beamed down to a planet with an away team to conduct an exploration. I somehow got separated from my team and abducted by this weird coven of ratty-looking hags and little girls, who did nothing but act irritatingly patronizing, like everything was some kind of weird kid's show and I was their sole, unwilling audience member. I kept giving snarky responses, to which they kept giving childish answers, and, for some reason, I suddenly became self-aware like I had "seen" this episode before, which prompted the coven to call for some male helpers, who had faces covered in gold glitter and shit, to come and help them perform a facial makeover on me just like they had. I immediately nope'd, grabbed my hip phaser, started blasting several of the girls and a couple of the women, smacked the lead hag in the face when she came at me, then took her as a hostage, pulled her over to some console overlooking a window, and I distinctly recall partially waking up and actually feeling myself say out loud the words: "Look, I'm sorry that I hit you, but let me make one thing clear: You don't fuck with me, and I don't fuck with you. Got it?" Then I ordered her to disable some kind of jamming device they were using on their hideout so the ship could lock onto my communicator and beam me back aboard, and then I woke up slightly after that.

I think the premise and setup of the dream was really autistic, but the ensuing action was cool. I'm not sure how it feels to have a lucid dream, but is this sort of how it works? When your own brain becomes self-aware of the imagined absurdity and you're suddenly able to take charge of the whole thing?


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Dec 19, 2021)

Gravemind said:


> I think the premise and setup of the dream was really autistic, but the ensuing action was cool.


Your dream sounds like it could have been based on the episode "Miri" from TOS (link) based on the description of the kids. Still, it's pretty kick-ass to have such an action-packed dream.


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## Mr. Krinkle (Dec 19, 2021)

Early this morning I had this extremely autistic dream that I was walking down a street in my neighborhood after dark and I kept receiving a phone call, only I realized that it was not my phone that was ringing but something in my pocket, so I kept jumbling around and pulling out random things one after the other like in a cartoon until I pulled out a perfectly preserved gum wrapper that was glowing blue and emitting the call. I uh...pressed the "button" and started talking into the gum wrapper like it was on speaker phone. I don't remember the conversation after that since I woke up shortly after.

I have no idea what the fuck would make me think of something like that.


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## Drain Todger (Dec 19, 2021)

A lot of my dreams are architectural and focus on strange abandoned buildings. One of my favorites from a couple decades ago was this one where I was in a great big library. The building was highly modern and stadium-shaped. You know, like an oval, but flattened on the sides. It looked kind of like the Chevron Building but shorter and more broad. Maybe ten or eleven stories. 




It had a giant atrium in the middle and only modest floor space as a result. The bookcases were essentially wrapped around the outer walls. The place was totally abandoned and the giant five-acre parking lot surrounding it (which was completely free of any vegetation or barriers except way out at the edges of the plot) was empty of any cars.

When I got outside, that was when the real fun began. A truck with a trailer pulled up and we unloaded a hovercraft.



What do you do with a hovercraft and a big empty parking lot?


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Dec 20, 2021)

Drain Todger said:


> A lot of my dreams are architectural and focus on strange abandoned buildings.


I've had a couple of dreams about abandoned buildings, one of which was a bit spooky. It involved what seemed to be an abandoned church that had sentimental value to my mom for some unspecified reason. Entering the building, however, there was extensive water damage from what seemed to be a hole in the corner of the roof. 

Several years later, I discovered urbex-style pictures of a long-demolished church that had been abandoned for years and some of the pictures of its interior seemed creepily similar to the interior of the abandoned church in my dream.

In the second dream, there used to be an abandoned school (later torn down for a strip mall) in the area and I drove there for what was to be a pick-up basketball game being played as the last event to take place before the building was closed for good and torn down. For being abandoned, the school, and its gym/locker room were in better shape than I expected. Once I changed clothes and walked onto the court for warm-ups, though, I learned the game was going to be co-ed as a female rival was also warming up. Sadly, I woke up before the game started.


----------



## Honk Hill (Dec 20, 2021)

That I signed up on and started posting on a forum ran by some chubby cheeked guy whose mom clearly drank during pregnancy.


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## Ms. 45 (Feb 2, 2022)

I bought a Laura Palmer Funko Pop. I would have preferred one of those big Japanese body pillows that looked like Laura Palmer, so I could fuck it, but I don't think the zips like anything that's not anime related.


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## Tactical Neural Implant (Feb 3, 2022)

Mine is from 7 or 8 years ago but I still remember it perfectly. I normally instantly forget my dreams, although I do often dream about the same places. Those impossible places that, in your dream is a particular area, like your house, and you perceive it as such, but when you wake up you realise it looked nothing like your house. 

Anyway, so it's this 50s stereotype family, like the dad in the suit, the mum in the dress and little Billy and Sally with the freckles and such. Except they live in this dome like house, almost like a hobbit house from LOTR, except its all one room, with the dining table in the middle and all the beds around the edges. It's also all an earthy quality, sort of like an igloo, but made out of dirt. They're having breakfast, the mum is serving it up, and the kids and husband are eating. 

Transition to: it's the dead of night and I'm walking through a super dense forest with Jukka and Jarppi from the Dudesons. Even though it's pitch black and a fucking forest, apparently it's a thoroughfare for students to get to university. So we pop out from between trees, pushing them aside and scaring the shit out of the students as they pass, pissing ourselves laughing. 

So we push another two trees apart, but this time on the other side it's a kind of portal into the 50s family's house. They have a picture of a dense forest at night on their wall and that's the portal we are looking through. 

The daughter notices us peering through and absolutely shits herself. Like screaming like a banshee, her face goes pale, her mouth is almost completely twisted in fear, while mum, dad and son have no idea what she's so scared of and fail in an attempt to console her. 

Then it cuts back to the beginning of the forest scares, and this time when we peer through to the 50s family, all of them see us and start losing their shit, screaming and pointing. It's truly awful. 

Anyway that's how the dream ends. I'd love to see what a dream interpreter failing to rationalise any fucking part of it. Still fills me with a mixture of dread and hilarity when I think about it.


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## eDove (Feb 3, 2022)

I have a lot of vivid dreams that operate on video game mechanics, like dying and repeatedly respawning.


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## Kermit Jizz (Feb 3, 2022)

I just had a dream that qualifies for this thread. Been watching a lot of Wings of Redemption content lately, ended up dreaming I met him irl. I called him a fat faggot and he killed himself on the spot. This was all on stream so I ended up being the new lolcow of the Wings thread.


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## sasazuka (Feb 4, 2022)

I dreamt that I was watching over-the-air television on the old Casio/Radio Shack Portavision mini cathode ray tube colour TV I have that I sometimes use as a monitor for videogames. Then, in my dream, I realized the problem: how could I be watching over-the-air television on it when it was made in the late 1990s and TV stations in 2022 no longer broadcast in analogue?

I think in my dream I reasoned that it must have been made with a built-in ATSC digital tuner even though I don't think any NTSC televisions made circa 1998 could also pick up ATSC.

I actually could watch over-the-air television on it in real life since I do have a converter box but I wouldn't want to since the resolution is already low (even for a 5" screen) and the letterbox cropping the converter box adds to the image would reduce the effective resolution even further.


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## Citizen Lain (Feb 9, 2022)

Once I had a dream about saying the gamer word in public and then being arrested for it.


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## Hypothermia (Feb 9, 2022)

After browsing the furry art thread, I had a nightmare about being a furry porn artist.


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## Mr. Krinkle (Feb 10, 2022)

I just dreamt that Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins trooned out. What makes it even more autistic is that I checked wikipedia after I woke up to see if it was true.


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## GaryGrey (Feb 10, 2022)

Have not been able to remember any dream for over a decade.


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## murph (Feb 10, 2022)

I was flying around trying to make lasagna. You had to collect the pasta sheets from various places and bring them back to make the lasagna layers. There were points involved.

Maybe I do play too many grindy video games.


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Feb 10, 2022)

eDove said:


> I have a lot of vivid dreams that operate on video game mechanics, like dying and repeatedly respawning.


In junior high or high school, I had a dream I was playing some sort of weird arcade video game where you had to disarm various hoodlums before they used their weapon of choice to kill you. In-game, I died despite it looking like I yanked the sledgehammer away from one such hoodlum and I said, "But I grabbed it away!" out loud in frustration

The character, a rather large intimidating woman, appeared out of the thin air next to me and said, "No you didn't, I hit you first."

The remainder of my in-game deaths also featured the characters coming to life to either explain how they killed me or to taunt me about my lack of success against them.


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## Drain Todger (Mar 3, 2022)

I fell into a deep REM sleep last night. I dreamed I was in the 2030s, stocking shelves in a goddamn grocery store. A security guard at the grocery store has caught me. He shows me and my coworkers footage he grabbed on a security footage exchange of me entering various under-construction skyscrapers downtown and vandalizing them by throwing things and breaking glass. Everyone's looking at me like a leper for defying the megacorp charter that replaced our Constitution by damaging corpo property. 

A little bit later, a wealthy entrepreneur gets in touch with me. He informs me the necessary bribes have been paid and all the charges are dropped, and he wants me involved in a project of his to build ranges where habitually angry people (who, by now, constitute a large percentage of the population) can break hanging glass panes and other stuff with shot put balls, legally, without being charged with vandalism. 

As I leave our first meeting, a bunch of white trash dudes with chiseled jaws, tousled hair, and hooded baby blue eyes who look like 80s movie villains pull up next to me in a big red International Harvester pickup that is by then about fifty or sixty years old, and offer to take me to a strip club. I decline their offer to go party. Turns out, one of the girls at the after-party ODed and the cops (who, in this timeline, have been replaced by yet more corpo private security goons) suspected foul play.

Something falls to the floor in the bathroom. I wake up. I fumble for my phone and load up KF. The first thread I see is "Vulva Spaceship". For a few moments, I'm not sure if I'm actually awake yet.


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## Shidoen (Mar 3, 2022)

I usually have intense nightmares but one had a very skinny, lanky skeleton monster pick up a baby by it’s head and play with it like it would an airplane. I just wanted to go back to the horrifying stuff I usually see.


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## The Lawgiver (Mar 3, 2022)

The most autistic but kinda cool dreamsI ever had were the ones when I was a small child. See, when I was a small child I somehow convinced myself when I went to sleep and dreamed shit I was tapping into another dimension and through this I somehow ended up getting whatever part of your brain runs the dream simulation shit to just bug out and have a constantly running narrative throughout my dreams. Most involved like fucking dimensional merge/sonichu ass tier crossovers and it's been a long ass time since these happened, like I'm talking DECADES now. Fuck, the AOSTH sonic and tails would frequently show up from time to time as characters in the lore and look like some shit out of fucking roger rabbit. One scene that I can't even fucking remember what led to it was child me and Freddy fucking Kreuger of all people just chilling. Like he wasn't trying to murder me or anything, he was threatening to at first but then we became like weird friends or something IIRC. I can't remember if that one was before or after the consistent narrative and world stuff stopped. I literally had a fucking map above my bed I drew with some fucking crayons and colored pencil orsome shit back then but I got NO fucking clue where that paper is now.

Most of my dreams the last 10 years have been nothing special or wild and it bothers me. The only one that was an anomaly amongst these was one that I forgot the details of after waking up other than the fact it was a completely mundane dream save for the fact a fucking fictional ass character was real and in some place I went to like some kinda 7/11 or convenience or grocery store looking place. Weirdest shit though was they acted like the character when I had no idea what the character even acted like as I hadn'tgotten around tothe part ofthe thing the character appeared in even. That's the first time shits happened like that in fucking YEARS. Fictional character being in a dream, I mean. That and the weird prophetic/deja vu kinda shit.

My weirdly elaborate plot-heavy dreams whenever I can remember them are always odd shit but nothing reaches the level of autism that the"dream dimension" saga of dreams was. There was an area where Misty from pokemon was just on fire constantly and screaming in pain and it was like one of those cursed kinda visions you weren't supposed to look at for too long, that's what kinda weird fucking lore existed in those "dream dimension" kinda dreams.

I'm tired as shit and my keyboard is dying, I'm too lazy to keep editing backin the spaces and fixing the typos I missed. I'm gonna fucking just conk out in a bit honestly.


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## Battlecruiser3000ad (Mar 3, 2022)

Couple times decade+ ago when heavily into Ultima Online I had some brief dreams that were, well, in UO-like world - isometric 2D. 
One involved chopping wood while on horseback


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## LateralusJambi (Mar 23, 2022)

This dream was trippy (like my avatar  ), so I don't remember much details, but I had a meeting with some 50-60 year old neo-nazis near local train station, when suddenly Haruhi Suzumiya got somehow involved. Yup.
I had a couple of anime related dreams (most of them happened when I laid off chinese cartoons), but this one stands out.


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## Jimmy Olsen (Mar 24, 2022)

Mentioned this one in the chat earlier, but I'll go into more detail here. 

The other night I had a dream that I was at some burlesque club Playboy Mansion type place. First I was watching the girls, then for some reason I was one of the performers. Then I was sitting outside in a white robe and and some Muslims started stoning me. A Muslim woman knelt beside me and started doing weird prayers (first she'd face forward, then lean to the left side, then the right) and when I mimicked her they stopped stoning me and dressed me up like one of them. 


Later something was going on in the Playboy Mansion type place, like an interview special or something, and midway through my interview I decided 'fuck it' and ripped off my halal clothing to reveal the skimpy outfit beneath. Then the Muslims killed me, but it was worth it. 



I was completely sober that night. 

Maybe I should take that dream to a psychic just to screw with them. I wonder what ungodly dream reading they'd pull out of that clusterfuck.


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## neverendingmidi (Mar 24, 2022)

I still remember a dream I had in high school: I dreamed I had a glove that let me fly. Like an opera glove style- up to your elbow. And it was vivid hot pink, super bright. My dad (in the dream it wasn’t my actual dad, but I knew this person in my dream was that character’s dad) had invented it. I remember being chased by bad guys and the government for this glove. I had just reached the climax of the “movie” when I woke up.


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## 5000% Sure (Apr 5, 2022)

Just woke up from what is probably the most autistic and cringey dream I've had just because it really shows how much time I spend on this fucking website and watching MATI.

So I'm at this airport in Florida for an official "Kiwi Farms Con" and I meet up with Null and a few other people in person. I leave to go to the venue for the con. Pretty much the entire time I'm there I'm just talking to and hanging out with Null though (he has a wildly different appearance in the dream though, he looks like a pasty ginger british 18 year old boy for some reason). Somehow we get really close over the course of the day and end up getting romantic. Then it cuts to us in some kind of dirty apartment about to fuck. I realize he's completely trooned out (an actual "when did Null troon out") and looks like a mix of Autumn Asphodel and a skinnier version of that fat bitch who talks about dead bodies ("Ask A Mortician" I think). He told me he had to boymode for the con but put on the troon stuff in private. He has breast implants and is wearing a ton of makeup with dyed black hair and really smooth/clean skin (I only saw the upper body so not sure about bottom surgery etc). At this point he's half naked and kind of grinding on top of me and it makes me really uncomfortable since I'm a raging homosexual so I tell him I still like him but that I can't fuck him while he's all trooned out. We're then back at the airport about to leave and go our separate ways after the con is over, and we're talking about still making it work and we exchange phone numbers etc, and we agree to keep it non-sexual in the future. Then I woke up.

For what it's worth I wouldn't actually fuck Jersh IRL, especially not as a troon. The whole thing was pretty uncomfortable.


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## Cheesegirl78 (Apr 6, 2022)

I always have dreams where I fall and hit the ground, and I know it will hurt, then I get up and wander into another dream. Or I'm walking up a huge flight of marble steps, and I trip, then I wake up.

Last night I dreamed I was walking around in NYC with Truman Capote, and we stopped in a coffeehouse and I asked him to read Answered Prayers to me, so he did.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Apr 6, 2022)

I was in a lost X-Files episode


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## The Cunting Death (Apr 6, 2022)

My mom and Carrie Fisher were singing and dancing together.


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## GorillaGhost (Apr 7, 2022)

I had a dream I was a baked potato with butter and sour cream and someone was eating me.

How did I do? Do I get secks now?


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## Ass Sniffer (Apr 20, 2022)

Posting this from here.


Once had a dream someone made a thread on a guy named "BILLY293" who supposedly DDOSed null over Taco Bell or something related to taco sauce.


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## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (Apr 20, 2022)

I walked into a video game store and picked up a Nintendo Switch game called "Wario Photo."  The front cover had a picture of Wario frozen in a block of ice with a camera in his hands.  By looking at the back, it seemed like the game was a hybrid between a platform game and an open-world survival game.

The setting was apparently a frozen, post-apocalyptic world.  The point of the game was to take photos of various landmarks to study for clues, with the end goal being to find Waluigi before he freezes to death (or at least find his remains if he does).

And of course, collect treasure and riches, as usual.


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## Ronnie Merle Mcnutt (Apr 20, 2022)

i had this dream where ronnie mcnutt came back from the dead and shot himself again?


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## Ratboy Genius (Apr 20, 2022)

Highway turned into a massive waterslide full of dinosaurs...it was kinda fun tbh


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## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (Apr 21, 2022)

perry in a suit said:


> Highway turned into a massive waterslide full of dinosaurs...it was kinda fun tbh


Me too, but no dinosaurs in mine.


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## Mr. Krinkle (Sep 3, 2022)

I had a very autistic dream this morning that I was browsing Facebook and for some reason I liked and shared an offensive meme about black people before I panicked and tried to unshare it before anyone noticed. What made this so autistic is I don't even fucking use Facebook.


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## Newman's Lovechild (Sep 3, 2022)

Last night I had a dream where I was in a post-apocalyptic town, running and dodging two slightly different, giant tentacled monsters who then met and proceeded to strangle eachother.

I distinctly remember thinking, "I can see where the creature designers took some influence."


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## AnsemSoD1 (Sep 3, 2022)

Years ago I had a very autistic little dream where I saved two girls from a toy motorbike decepticon from Michael Bay's movies.


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## AnsemSoD1 (Sep 3, 2022)

Detrogen said:


> Back in 2008 I had a dream where a game I was really hyped for came out and for some reason I stuffed it under my pillow. When I woke in the morning I actually checked to see if it was there.


I fucking hate those dreams.


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## Furry Furry (Sep 4, 2022)

I've had so many and I can't remember too much unfortunately. 
When I was very little I had a dream about my house being turned into a small rollercoaster with a bunch of skeletons everywhere. It was super scary to me at the time because I was afraid of skellys and demons. Actually, I remember another dream with Satan coming out of the coffee table from a portal to Hell and pointing at me. I was super freaked out and trying to hide behind my parents as we were sitting on the couch.


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## Johnny Eastwood cash (Nov 7, 2022)

Most of the dreams I have are autistic


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## Cryptozoology (Nov 8, 2022)

Adam Powell, Neopets creator, was in my house for some reason and was clearly really disappointed in me but didn't want to say it directly because he knew I'm a SPED.


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## lurkin (Nov 8, 2022)

Had a dream where I had something in my teeth so I started digging around and it was one of those little red tag things from a chewing gum packet and as I pulled it all my teeth popped out of their respective hole in a row.


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## Shadfan666xxx000 (Nov 8, 2022)

I had a dream in middle school where I went down a cave. It started out a lot like a horror game with me finding audio logs and VHS recordings of a coven of witches who lives there. I got spooked but kept going anyway since that's what youre supposed to do in these cases because that's how video games work. As I kept going I eventually found another exit when I stepped on a branch and woke the whole cave up. 
I paused, time slowed down and in front of my face I saw the words "press select to run". I have no idea how I did that but I ran out of the entrance and pulled up the fast travel menu from oblivion and used it like in dragon age somehow, as the witches followed me and laid siege to the city. I then fought with the city guard to win and got a neat statue to my name.
To this day, I still don't know if I dreamed playing a video game or if I was in a video game.


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## Not a bee (Nov 8, 2022)

I actually had a KF dream, where I was trying to compliment someone's profile picture which was some pink-haired anime woman, and I wanted to write "Nice binkie pfp" (Binkie is the name of my bird, I don't know why I wanted to write that in my dream but hey dream logic) and in my dream it changed it to "nice ch*nkie pfp" and I was like "oh my god no I can't have that that is so racist!!!" and was trying to edit the message 8 times to get rid of the racial slur and then FINALLY it changed.
Another dream I had that was similar was that I was on deviantART and some popular artist uploaded a beautiful picture and I wanted to comment "great art" but it changed to "lesbian bitch" and I was so embarassed and people were like "wtf??" I kept trying to change the comment and finally it changed.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Nov 8, 2022)

It would be a recurring fever dream that I have had since I was a child. I'm obsessively rolling a small thing, like a grain of sand or something, between my thumb and index finger and can't stop and in the dream it is driving me nuts.


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## Beak Thing (Nov 9, 2022)

When I was 12 or so I had a dream I found a bunch of Pokemon booster packs under a bush in my parents' backyard. Totally bad ass packs, 1st edition Charizard, Blastoise, fucking Zapdos...

Then I woke up and did not have those cards. Sucked a bit. My dad did pick up some packs for us later that week and I got a regular Charizard. Not bad!


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## Hat Man (Nov 16, 2022)

I had a dream that I was trying to log in to the farms but there was a glitch that caused me to log in to other people's accounts, a different one each time. I wish I remembered the usernames so I could see if they are actually existing users, I know one had been inactive since 2016. Anyway, I remember realizing that I could exploit this glitch to fuck with people but ultimately deciding to email Null and let him know about it. I woke up before I could write said email.


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## Meat Target (Nov 16, 2022)

Hat Man said:


> I had a dream that I was trying to log in to the farms but there was a glitch that caused me to log in to other people's accounts, a different one each time. I wish I remembered the usernames so I could see if they are actually existing users, I know one had been inactive since 2016. Anyway, I remember realizing that I could exploit this glitch to fuck with people but ultimately deciding to email Null and let him know about it. I woke up before I could write said email.


I've had ones were we all got doxed, and where @CatParty returned.


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## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Nov 20, 2022)

There's this one where Bugs Bunny (in the Chuck Jones style) is doing this first celebrity tour in years in Russia due to an incident that involved Russian wizards trying to hunt him like Elmer Fudd. Then the wizards are interviewed and we learn that they're now ghosts that look like tadpoles with wizard hats with flaps on the side and have vowed revenge on Bugs. So they surround him, ready to cast a spell on him, Bugs ducks in time and the wizards accidently turn each other into chickens. So the scene changes to Bugs serving "magical chicken soup" to the people of Russia and due to them having magic, the soup will never run out and the Russians will always have something to eat.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Nov 20, 2022)

I don't know what horrible culinary crime I committed but I had a dream the other night that Gordon Ramsey tried to strangle me.


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## Bunny Tracks (Dec 1, 2022)

Yesterday, I dreamt that Fredrik Knudsen kept trying to ask me out, and when I kept turning him down, he started robbing some guy's yacht.


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## Damien Thorne (Dec 2, 2022)

Dreaming about playing FFX since that was my jam for a couple of months.


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## Boom Boss (Dec 2, 2022)

Shadfan666xxx000 said:


> To this day, I still don't know if I dreamed playing a video game or if I was in a video game.


A few times I've dreamed watching a movie or playing a video game, and then suddenly the dream changes so I'm actually in the movie or video game.


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## ForgedBlades (Dec 2, 2022)

I had a dream last night that someone on 4chan called me a zoomer and it pissed me off so much that I posted a picture of my driver's license in response to prove that I wasn't but I forgot to crop out my name and accidentally  doxxed myself.


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## Boom Boss (Dec 3, 2022)

ForgedBlades said:


> I had a dream last night that someone on 4chan called me a zoomer and it pissed me off so much that I posted a picture of my driver's license in response to prove that I wasn't but I forgot to crop out my name and accidentally  doxxed myself.


I used to have these long dreams where I would irrepairably ruin my life.  I would do a series of life ruining shit in a single day, like yelling and cussing out a teacher or parent, or stealing and crashing a car.  Then I would dream random moments during the rest of my life where I'm suffering from the consequences.  Things like feeling deep sense of remorse, and being poor because I could never get a good job again.  I would wake up depressed because my brain actually made all that up and fooled myself into thinking I ruined my life.  I was also kind of grateful because none of it was real.


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## heroin sundae (Dec 4, 2022)

I dreamt that CWC was being forced (by Bob and Barb) to kill and eat babies. Lots of photographs were taken. Many years later a suitcase full of Chris-murdering/eating-babies-photos were found on the side of a road. The pictures were all in black and white and detectives referred to them as _nativity scenes._
I've never really followed Chris so I have no clue where any of that came from. I was pretty uncomfortable upon waking up.


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## Boom Boss (Dec 4, 2022)

A long time ago in real life I used to live in this old house with my dad.  In the dream we still lived in it, but it was out in the middle of the country.  I had to walk way out into this open field to get to my car.  Bears and tigers would always be around it or on it, snarling and swiping at me if I tried to get into it.  I would always walk home and complain to my dad about it, either in person if he was home, or over the phone if he was at work.  I would also have to call work and tell them I couldn't come in.  This lasted several days in the dream.

I have no idea why I didn't just park next to the house, but hey, dream logic.


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## A Beached Whale (Dec 5, 2022)

I think we need a dream thread for any time we have unintentional dreams(more like nightmares) about lolcows.

I just woke up from one where I was forced to be Peetz's roommate, and the gross fucker was dumb enough to buy a venomous coral snake instead of its mimicking harmless cousin, the milk snake.


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## Drain Todger (Dec 14, 2022)

I just had one weird-ass nightmare.

It was set in an alternate timeline, like several years ago, where movie producers had decided, for some reason, that it would be easier to film extras _naked_ and add clothes to them in post-production. This led to the phenomenon of "Naked Contamination", where editors would sometimes miss nude extras in the background while in post and forget to clothe them. There was even a whole-ass Wikipedia article on it. As in, if you did a web search in the dream, with a phone, you'd find various articles on it.

I was working as an extra in some Marvelshit movie, alongside a veritable army of other naked people. I explained to some of the other extras that it was actually a good thing we were all naked, because we were filming in SoCal and it was over a hundred degrees. I was sitting in the back of some car and I handed something like a water bottle to the driver, and then I was done with my scene. I wasn't even paying attention to who I handed it to.

Then, somehow, screencaps of an early, unfinished screener, showing the shadowed outline of _me_ completely naked from head to toe over Chris Hemsworth's shoulder, started popping up online. Eventually, they made their way, well, you know. _Here_.

It was like one of those "naked in a shopping mall" type dreams I almost never have, but on steroids.


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## get_ur_gamon (Dec 17, 2022)

I had one where I was riding a flume ride slow water dark ride with Hitler and a random GI.

We had been forced onto the ride by SS guards who said we would be killed after the ride was over. However, with just us and Hitler alone, we found out that Hitler was pretty low energy.

He took us to his bunker, which was reminiscent of a small tornado shelter with a sofa, tiny tv and mini fridge in it. He said he was just tired and wanted to watch some TV as he knew Berlin would fall soon. Petrified, we sat down with him and passed him biscuits and joked about how hard it must be for him. Really trying to keep him calm and not remind him that we were supposed to be executed.One wrong move and we were dead. Luckily he was chill and we just relaxed some more. What a real G.

(Watched WW2 in Colour that evening while having biscuits and tea).
I've kept a dream diary for years and so I'll dig deep into it to see if I can pull any dumb ones out.


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## Boom Boss (Dec 29, 2022)

A few days ago I dreamed that I bought several packs of candy cigarettes and tried to smoke them.  I couldn't get a nicotine buzz from them, but I did notice the candy dust coming out the end like cigarette smoke.

I never smoked in real life, so I have no idea what smoking a cigarette is actually like.


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Dec 30, 2022)

I had a dream once that was just gameplay footage (not even through my eyes, just the screen itself) of Age of Empires III.


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