# History Subforum?



## OwO What's This? (May 18, 2017)

History has always been my worst subject. I do not enjoy reading stiffly worded Wikipedia articles, but I love hearing about history through word of mouth.

I know we have a lot of history spergs that post here at farms, so maybe there's some traction for this idea.

ok love you, talk to you later bye


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 18, 2017)

At first, I liked this idea, but then I realized that it would be even more polarizing and autistic than Deep Thoughts. I would have to listen to people who allegedly have history degrees drag on endlessly about how taxes are unconstitutional because of the Whiskey Rebellion, how "#BasedLincoln was fighting a liberation war against the South which I think fought for slavery because I'm a middle-aged white man from Wisconsin who manages a Kroger", how Jesus wasn't real because Richard Dawkins said so one time, how women's history proves that men have higher IQs, how Karl Marx was in-league with the Jews to end the "teutonic race", people unironically throwing about the word "Holohoax" and trying to disprove the holocaust and everyone taking them seriously. Oh God, it sounds awful.

I respect this proposal, because I think it is well intentioned, but in reality...oh, man. It would lead to more halals than the Chained Divinity thread. I'm giving you a drink rating though because if you have more patience than me you might get a lot of humor out of it.


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## OwO What's This? (May 18, 2017)

Gym Leader Elesa said:


> At first, I liked this idea, but then I realized that it would be even more polarizing and autistic than Deep Thoughts. I would have to listen to people who allegedly have history degrees drag on endlessly about how taxes are unconstitutional because of the Whiskey Rebellion, how "#BasedLincoln was fighting a liberation war against the South which I think fought for slavery because I'm a middle-aged white man from Wisconsin who manages a Kroger", how Jesus wasn't real because Richard Dawkins said so one time, how women's history proves that men have higher IQs, how Karl Marx was in-league with the Jews to end the "teutonic race", people unironically throwing about the word "Holohoax" and trying to disprove the holocaust and everyone taking them seriously. Oh God, it sounds awful.
> 
> I respect this proposal, because I think it is well intentioned, but in reality...oh, man. It would lead to more halals than the Chained Divinity thread. I'm giving you a drink rating though because if you have more patience than me you might get a lot of humor out of it.



All those hypotheticals you described sound incredible and now I want it even more.


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## Vitriol (May 18, 2017)

Use deep thoughts- there is a thread somewhere there on the byzantine empire that someone made who was curious about the period im sure people will happily chat about others.

We had quite an active history group when the user groups mod was still a thing.


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## OwO What's This? (May 18, 2017)

Vitriol said:


> Use deep thoughts- there is a thread somewhere there on the byzantine empire that someone made who was curious about the period im sure people will happily chat about others.
> 
> We had quite an active history group when the user groups mod was still a thing.


People don't seem to be actively posting history in Deep Thoughts currently and I certainly don't know enough about history to post about it myself... doesn't seem like a good solution.


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## cuddle striker (May 18, 2017)

OwO What's This? said:


> People don't seem to be actively posting history in Deep Thoughts currently and I certainly don't know enough about history to post about it myself... doesn't seem like a good solution.


go to deep thoughts, make a thread called "history questions" and use the OP to ask a few things you're interested in. there'll be some salt to lick for sure, but you might get some interesting stuff out of it.


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## OwO What's This? (May 18, 2017)

resonancer said:


> go to deep thoughts, make a thread called "history questions" and use the OP to ask a few things you're interested in. there'll be some salt to lick for sure, but you might get some interesting stuff out of it.



With how many history fanatics we have on the forum I still think there's merit in having a subforum for it. If not, well, it's just as easily reverted.


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## An Ghost (May 18, 2017)

Could use the same rules as articles and happenings 'no american history' to avoid sperging about slavery and the south and whatever. 
There are a lot of really cool little bits of history out there that some of us know offhand. Something like for example:


Spoiler: Audie Murphy



The only recipient of 2 medals of honor, Audie Murphy was a 5' American soldier who nobody thought would do shit in WWII so they put him in the army despite not passing the physical because they needed another bullet catcher. He went on to be an incredible badass and then movie star who starred in the movie about his own life. His heroics were so badass they had to leave some out to make the movie believable.


So something like an old war hero is cool, could open a discussion of war heros now and other war heros. A "cool history facts" thread or "war hero general" might be the place. I dunno about a forum about history. I mean it's already happened. Nothing new to screen cap.


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## Maiden-TieJuan (May 18, 2017)

An Ghost said:


> Could use the same rules as articles and happenings 'no american history' to avoid sperging about slavery and the south and whatever.
> There are a lot of really cool little bits of history out there that some of us know offhand. Something like for example:
> 
> 
> ...


ThIs idea could be cool.  Like a "interesting historical personages that no one knows about" or even "local historic items" would be good.  There are a shit ton of things people don't really know about (like Emperor Joshua Norton, Emperor of the United States of America and Protector of Mexico?) that can start some people looking at history as something more then dry uninteresting encyclopedia entries.  Hell, I LOVE obscure history.  I would endorse a thing like that.


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## Vitriol (May 18, 2017)

OwO What's This? said:


> People don't seem to be actively posting history in Deep Thoughts currently and I certainly don't know enough about history to post about it myself... doesn't seem like a good solution.


Post a question then.

I am not sure why a new sub would attract more traffic than DT does, esp in the longer term. A new sub for something which is not generating content naturally seems like clutter.


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## BillionBisonBucks (May 18, 2017)

This sounds brilliant, especially after the education I received on Australian police in chat the other day.


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## An Ghost (May 20, 2017)

> something which is not generating content


This. If people want to write history essays KF is not the place.


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## AnOminous (May 20, 2017)

Maybe there should be a thread on how a useless idiot named @OwO What's This? showed up one day and then acted like an utter dick and got other posters banned by constantly crying to admins and mods in a pathetic attempt to get social credit, and how literally everyone hates this piece of shit.


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## Locksnap (May 20, 2017)

Can't you just watch some shitty pop history vids on youtube? I wouldn't advise that normally but you'd learn more from those than the morons on here.


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## OwO What's This? (May 20, 2017)

AnOminous said:


> Maybe there should be a thread on how a useless idiot named @OwO What's This? showed up one day and then acted like an utter dick and got other posters banned by constantly crying to admins and mods in a pathetic attempt to get social credit, and how literally everyone hates this piece of shit.


drumpf


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## millais (May 20, 2017)

AnOminous said:


> Maybe there should be a thread on how a useless idiot named @OwO What's This? showed up one day and then acted like an utter dick and got other posters banned by constantly crying to admins and mods in a pathetic attempt to get social credit, and how literally everyone hates this piece of shit.


why stop there? we should have a whole subforum dedicated to it


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## HG 400 (May 21, 2017)

OwO What's This? said:


> People don't seem to be actively posting history in Deep Thoughts currently and I certainly don't know enough about history to post about it myself... doesn't seem like a good solution.



Just make a thread called "tell me cool stuff from history or w/e" you dummy


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## Strelok (May 22, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> Just make a thread called "tell me cool stuff from history or w/e" you dummy



Fuck it i'll start.

There was a time a Pope dug up a previous pope and put his corpse on trial, complete with a guy whose job was to answer the accusations against the corpse Pope since the real guy was too busy being dead . He was found guilty and dumped in a river. Then people got mad about it (wonder why?) and killed that Pope as well.

I made 0% of that up.


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## WhitestPawn (May 22, 2017)

Not sure I can post something quite as interesting, but here is possibly the most :autism: tank ever designed



Spoiler










The Tsar tank, it was an experimental Russian vehicle that was abandoned not long after the outbreak of WW1. Unsurprisingly, it was dropped due to being easy as hell to spot and destroy with artillery.  After it was abandoned , it was too weird and heavy to move, so it sat at its testing site for nearly 8 years until they finally broke it down and used it for scrap.


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## HG 400 (May 22, 2017)

Cleopatra was a 4/10 irl and that's being generous.


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## millais (May 22, 2017)

Dynastia said:


> Cleopatra was a 4/10 irl and that's being generous.


Inbred Greek genetic will do that to a woman


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## ICametoLurk (May 22, 2017)

The Roman Emperor Elagabalus was a real life anime trap (Became Emperor at 14 and spent all his time looking more and more feminine. There was no hair other than his head. And died at the good age of 18 so he was a beautiful femboy all his life) who was pretty much a Slaanesh worshipper.

Chariots being pulled by naked ponygirls.
He put him being driven by naked ponygirls on Official Roman Money
Was a total and complete slut in everyway imaginable, fucked almost every man in Rome.
Fucked Vestial Virgins, you know the girls that were killed if they lost their virginity.
Crushed his friends to death with rose petals and having swarms of tamed leopards and lions wake them from naps so give them heart attacks.
He also had wild lions hiding in the Roman Palace and would if someone opened the wrong door trying to find him in Hide and Seek they were eaten by lions.
Made people eat live parrots.
Would put live spiders in people's pastries along with dung.
Would leave the guts of children (that he Extreme BDSM Tortured and then Sacrificed) all over the Roman Palace so that people would step in kid guts.
Would poke people with a red hot poker and then peel their skin off like you would open a present.
Would put poisonous snakes all over the palace when guests came over.
Was into Daddies and had a Daddy who would go looking for him after he would run away from the palace at night like a naughty little boy and would have his Daddy beat him and after beating him gave him cummies.
Was Transgender and tried to get doctors in Rome figure out how to make a fake vagina.
Worshipped what was pretty much the Black Stone of Kabba. Was Mudslime before Muhammad existed.
Gave his friends food made out of Marble to eat while he had the real food.
Invited the Whoopee Cushion to mess with his friends.
And just in general liked being the greatest prankmaster that ever lived.
I've heard that he was into wearing lioncloths and messing them up. So he was into all the AB/DL


There's tons more about him.

It's only fitting that the Japanese made some stuff about him.







He's my favorite Roman Emperor.


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## WeaponsGradeAutism (May 22, 2017)

To add to Elagabalus's lulzy tale, the Romans decided to institute Damnatio Memoriae, as linked below.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damnatio_memoriae?wprov=sfla1

Which the practice of it is where we get the word "damnation." Essentially, the Romans tried to completely blacklist the offending party for crimes against the state and being a shitty human while doing so.


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## Southern Belle (May 22, 2017)

WeaponsGradeAutism said:


> Which the practice of it is where we get the word "damnation." Essentially, the Romans tried to completely blacklist the offending party for crimes against the state and being a shitty human while doing so.


so essentially he was doing the "unperson" shit before modern day troons started doing it. and modern day troons are just carrying on a time honored roman tradition.


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 22, 2017)

ICametoLurk said:


> The Roman Emperor Elagabalus was a real life anime trap (Became Emperor at 14 and spent all his time looking more and more feminine. There was no hair other than his head. And died at the good age of 18 so he was a beautiful femboy all his life) who was pretty much a Slaanesh worshipper.
> 
> Chariots being pulled by naked ponygirls.
> He put him being driven by naked ponygirls on Official Roman Money
> ...



You can't just have @Jon-Kacho as your favorite Roman Emperor. He's still around, it's distasteful.


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## Jaded Optimist (May 22, 2017)

millais said:


> Inbred Greek genetic will do that to a woman




 
On the subject of acient Egypt, because of the heat and lice Egyptians would remove all body hair.  They had ornate wigs, and the richer Egyptians at parties would have a cone of soft scented wax on the top of their wig.  The wax would slowly melt throughout the evening, which released the perfume.

Also woman gave birth crouched on tiles engraved with the image of the goddess of childbirth.  That goddess was an angry pregnant hippo.


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## Adamska (May 28, 2017)

History eh? Might as well describe the Mercenary War that Carthage fought pretty much immediately after the 1st Punic War.

So if you don't know the 1st Punic War, let me sum it simply. Carthage and Rome both had interests in Sicily and would get into a war because some stupid fucking mercenaries and pirates decided to ask both powers to intervene in their affairs at the same time. Rome got its ass kicked on the ocean and Carthage was fighting a slow grinding loss on land for like twenty years. Then Rome finally realized how to build a navy that did not suck cock and actually won a few naval engagements, which caused the Senate and Suffets that lead Carthage to tard panic due to their loss in naval dominance, even though they honestly were still doing fairly well in Sicily and actually bled Rome near dry by the end.

They ask Rome for a treaty, and Rome naturally told them to fuck off of Sicily and to give them Corsica, as well as a metric fuckton of gold. This, combined with the fact that Carthage's trade was completely fucked by this long war, left them near penniless. When their army, which was mainly comprised of mercenaries since the last time Carthage fielded citizen soldiers they were slaughtered like pigs, came back they obviously expected to be paid. Carthage told them that they did not have the money to do so and they should probably go home. The mercenaries response was to sack Tunis.

The Senate by that point took the hint and promised to give them what they wanted, but by then the Mercs just thought they could take whatever they wanted, and so they thugged out in Tunisia, working with several Libyan cities who were sick of Carthage's shit. After panicking for a bit, the Carthaginians were able to redirect their remaining mercenaries, actually brought on citizens for the task, and put them under the revolting merc's former General Hamilcar. He was able to use a mixture of smarts and talent to basically slaughter them all mercilessly. Not joking either; no quarter was given on either side after the Mercs decided to execute all of their prisoners first. During this kerfuffle, Rome would sneak in and take Sardinia.

The aftermath of this shitshow would really cripple Carthage's trade. It would also cap off the bad feelings Hamilcar felt for the Suffets and Senate since he had to slaughter his own men after the stupid fucks who also lost him the war decided to appoint him to do so. He would then demand that his young son Hannibal to swear a blood oath to never be a friend to Rome, which would lead to this:




Which led to this:




But then led to this:
https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/31/23/5a/31235a8d59d5eed195b72c62aaa94a7f.jpg


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## OtterParty (May 28, 2017)

traditional chinese medicine has a long and rich history dating all the way back to the time chairman mao fabricated it to make his miserable 2nd world cesspit look competent and even he didn't trust it because he knew it was bullshit


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