# You have to fight the avatar of the person above you, how does it go?



## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

Are you victorious or do you get destroyed? Elaborate.


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## The Last Stand (May 2, 2021)

Success.


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## Tetra (May 2, 2021)

Lose, strong black women are terrifying


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## The Wizard (May 2, 2021)

_Casts Ban Anime_


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## Jonah Hill poster (May 2, 2021)

Defeats magic with pizza and nunchucks


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## Strayserval (May 2, 2021)

Well this isn't a fare fight at all, fuckers have hard ass shells


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## Narr Then (May 2, 2021)

Waterboard him with JD and twat him with my bass.


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## Xenomorph (May 2, 2021)

Make him love me to the point of utter insanity. There are fates worse than death


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## Krystal (May 2, 2021)

Give both a splitting headache.


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## verissimus (May 2, 2021)

I deliver two stunners and wait for the ref to count them out.


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

I'm fighting the entire WWF? I'm ded


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## Big Ruski (May 2, 2021)

A black guy? I'm ded


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## Coelacanth (May 2, 2021)

Doggies can swim, but they _can't_ breathe underwater. Into the depths with you!


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## Stoneheart (May 2, 2021)

Ohhh little doggy, i will brush your hair and get you a froggy suit.


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## TFT-A9 (May 2, 2021)

...Why am I fighting a dog again?

Whatever.  Old Yeller it is.


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## Toolbox (May 2, 2021)

Not sure what the hell is happening in that image but I don't think a dancing skeleton has much to offer. I die instantly.


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## polyester (May 2, 2021)

I just sit down on the dancing skeleton and jack-o'-lanterns, squashing them.
Win.


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## Wowcoolusername (May 2, 2021)

Guy above me looks like the type who already has bodies in the freezer in his garage. Hopefully he has one big enough to fit my fat ass.


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## JamusActimus (May 2, 2021)

I fuck him up


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## trevshoms (May 2, 2021)

I win if we agree to settle this with a children's card game


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## KhorneFlakes (May 2, 2021)

sword go stab


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## Overcast (May 2, 2021)

Looks like it'd be an even fight. Although I would need a spear rather than my slow ass butcher knife.


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## Niggernerd (May 2, 2021)

Wouldn't be the first time i took out a supernatural creature


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

I will destroy you


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## Joey Caruso (May 2, 2021)

Gas masks outside toxic environments are for pussies, he'd probably fold pretty easy lmao


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## Shitted Scaredless (May 2, 2021)

I could beat up a ginger


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## WolfeTone (May 2, 2021)

Ended up covered in shit
Like biting a porcupine


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## Marnie (May 2, 2021)

I really don't think I could fight a wolf. I'm fucking tiny.


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## Dr. Geronimo (May 2, 2021)

Bring the noise bitch


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## gigglemilk (May 2, 2021)

id fight that guy with twinkies. A long drawn out battle ending in cardiac arrest or stroke.


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## Antarctic Hellbeast (May 2, 2021)

Says the letter H
erases them from existence.


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## Oliveoil (May 2, 2021)

I pull my "I'm quarter Asian card" and win by a WIDE margin.


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## Thomas Highway (May 2, 2021)

Win by just stealing beanie.


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

I lose because I don't see you coming invisible man


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## OrionBalls (May 2, 2021)

If you'll just give me five minutes with this LeMarchand Box, I'll be dead, anyway. You might be too, though. Run away!


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## Solid Snek (May 2, 2021)

I would absolutely destroy her.

The cheese would kick my ass, though.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (May 2, 2021)

Robot PUNCH


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## Coolio55 (May 2, 2021)

Make love not war


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## Bluntman and Chronic (May 2, 2021)

It's like it was meant to be.


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

I get BTFO. Beer bottle is too OP.


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## BingBong (May 2, 2021)

you are unable to resist the 10/10 bussy


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## SauceRyuKen (May 2, 2021)

Sword go stab for an instakill. Easily able to resist the bussy. My avatar is married!


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## JohnDoe (May 2, 2021)

Poisonous smoke blinds and chokes the swordman, so all I need is to avoid ambush. Easy win.


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## OrionBalls (May 2, 2021)

Tactical Kiwi Hyena? I'll just call him a fag, and he'll sperg out till he dies from collective shame. He's here forever, though. In my heart. His laughter lives on in all of us.


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## Madre Muerte (May 2, 2021)

Hit you with my mace, hospitalized.


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## Gog & Magog (May 2, 2021)

I wouldn't have to do anything. Guy looks like an idiot. He'd knock himself out with that mace of his.


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## Stilgar of Troon (May 2, 2021)

Attach a bomb to Snippy, detonate near Zee Captain.


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## MarvinTheParanoidAndroid (May 2, 2021)

I make the tranny depressed with the point of view gun.


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## Big Ruski (May 2, 2021)

42 is a lie


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## mr.moon1488 (May 2, 2021)

I can't fight something so cute.


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## BullDogsLipBrandClamjuice (May 2, 2021)

mr.moon1488 said:


> I can't fight something so cute.


I suck the moon dick, then we're chill I guess


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## jewelry investor (May 2, 2021)

Taller than me because of suit. I lose.


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## A Grey Cat (May 2, 2021)

44 magnum bullet right between the eyes


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

YOU BROKE MY PHONE ASSHOLE


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## Shameimaru Aya (May 2, 2021)

I show off my camera's photography to make you feel jealous over your broken phone.


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## Kyururu-kun (May 2, 2021)

I tell you that Hayate has blackmailing material on you and so you should fight her instead.


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## Lame Entropy (May 2, 2021)

I curb stomp the child.


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## Weed Eater (May 2, 2021)

Jap porno powers would overtake anyone with lust


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## Power Ranger Monster (May 2, 2021)

I might be able to shove her out of a window.


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## White Devil (May 2, 2021)

Easy. Just ride a giant bird over a volcano and drop a cheap ring into it.


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## Fromtheblackdepths (May 2, 2021)

I cannot fight devil.


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## Feline Supremacist (May 2, 2021)

I slash his suit with my claws and he drowned


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## Kyururu-kun (May 3, 2021)

Lasagna?


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## Shitted Scaredless (May 3, 2021)

I don't think I can morally beat up a child 




But for the right price...


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## Medulseur (May 3, 2021)

Anime/manga is gay so I would win of course.


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## MAPK phosphatase (May 3, 2021)

Senescence wins in the end, unless that's one of those weird technically immortal creatures.


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## Lame Entropy (May 3, 2021)

Easy, I stomp on the graph.


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## Quantum Diabetes (May 3, 2021)

That gas mask is no match for my curry farts


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## Absolute Brainlet (May 3, 2021)

A limbless baby could beat up DSP, let alone ME


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## Krystal (May 3, 2021)

Pimp demon gets pimp-slapped.


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## Jeff Boomhauer (May 3, 2021)

Itellyouwhatman,I'mtorncauseyou'readangolefurrybastardbutmamaBoomhaueralwaystoldme"DangitJeff,don'tyoueverbehittin'themgirlseorItellyouwhatImmaswatyou"soIguessIletya slidethis onetime, girl.


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## round robin (May 3, 2021)

I would kick Boomhauer's ass.


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## Long Tongue Silver (May 3, 2021)

Birdie goes bye-bye.


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## Meat Target (May 3, 2021)

For round robin hunting, I have my 12 gauge Mossberg 590 loaded with Winchester Super X 2 3/4" no. 8 Birdshot.


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## Jabroni (May 3, 2021)

A tomboy in body armour slamming a H&K MP5 into the ground barrel side inward could take a dude with a mossberg 590


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## Bastard_Call (May 3, 2021)

gg ez


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## Lame Entropy (May 3, 2021)

Avatar already has black eyes, I simply finish what someone else started.


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## TheClorax (May 3, 2021)

People in gas masks are usually edgelords overcompensating, so I’m fairly confident in myself.


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## Jonah Hill poster (May 3, 2021)

Uses Master Splinter to force him to watch Jaden Smith in the _Karate Kid _remake


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## Shitted Scaredless (May 4, 2021)

I can just throw you guys pizza and be done with it


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

I lace your SSRI medication with heroin and you OD.


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## Mr. ShadowCreek (May 4, 2021)

I just say "Look over there" and you look where I pointed. A 400 pound woman than falls on you.


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## Long Tongue Silver (May 4, 2021)

I hire a bunch of starving Africans to turn you into bush meat.


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

I put gorilla glue on my cock and shove it up your ass, preventing you from shitting. You die several weeks later from an obstructed bowel.


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## Lame Entropy (May 4, 2021)

I put gorilla glue on my cock and you die from sepsis also.


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

I hook an exhaust pipe from a running car onto your gas mask. The mask is also sealed with gorilla glue on your head. You die of CO poisoning.


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## Videowatcher69 (May 4, 2021)

Pretty sure this giant fuckin V can chop that pasty fuckers head off.


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

Videowatcher69 said:


> Pretty sure this giant fuckin V can chop that pasty fuckers head off.


I make a bilateral incision where the two lines connect. Now you have a II


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## Battlecruiser3000ad (May 4, 2021)

I'll shit into that guy's water supply and with Kali's blessing I shall prevail.


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## get_ur_gamon (May 4, 2021)

I'll duct tape a calf to my chest to make body armour no Hindu can penetrate. As long as India doesn't become a super power mid-fight I'm good.


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## Jebu Nagazi (May 4, 2021)

I must purge anything that is ANIME to vanquish this demon...


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

I drop an anvil on its head.


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## Pocket Dragoon (May 4, 2021)

He doesn't come back up for air.


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## Lame Entropy (May 4, 2021)

I hold him down in the bathtub and he drowns.


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## Denied (May 4, 2021)

I cook food for him. Nais n crispeh.


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## Wintersun (May 4, 2021)

I send her to the future, where she cooks for my minions and kills them, then she inevitably winds up making a meal for me, which I accidentally consume, choke on and perish from.


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

I bukakke your boosy to death.


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## Big Brown Schlub (May 4, 2021)

*unsheathes katana*
*cuts u 10000 times*
heh... nothing personnel kid


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## Merried Senior Comic (May 4, 2021)

I don't stand a chance against a mall njnja.


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## Videowatcher69 (May 4, 2021)

I throw a dollar on the ground then insert my new II form into the bums...bum, as he bends down to grab it.
The sphincter reflex he does is so strong it reforms me back into a V. In the process the hobo dies from rectal bleeding.


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## Samir (May 4, 2021)

Realizing that my sai glock is useless against the alphabet, I hide under my bed in hopes that I will not be found.


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## Łimønča (May 4, 2021)

Nice name
*squints*
Samir....*NOT AS SHARP AS MY SHAMSHIR.



*


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## Slappy McGherkin (May 4, 2021)

Łimønča said:


> Nice name
> *squints*
> Samir....*NOT AS SHARP AS MY SHAMSHIR.
> View attachment 2142341*


You can't crinkle cut me with that before I drown you in dill vinegar. Take your last breath and hold it, bitch.


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## Lame Entropy (May 4, 2021)

Pickles yum I vore the talking pickle


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## TheRetardKing (May 4, 2021)

Lame Entropy said:


> Pickles yum I vore the talking pickle


Ow. You broke my neck.


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## BeanRespecter (May 4, 2021)

TheRetardKing said:


> Ow. You broke my neck.


its wrong to beat up the mentally challenged. I am Wrong.


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## Old Wizard (May 4, 2021)

gaystoner said:


> its wrong to beat up the mentally challenged. I am Wrong.


I'm fairly confident


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## Pina Colada (May 5, 2021)

Bubbles can't do shit against armor, but there's a chance I could aim for your eyes.


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## Lame Entropy (May 6, 2021)

The bubbles invade my filters and I get sick from ingesting soap.


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## TFT-A9 (May 7, 2021)

I'm pretty sure him and Snippy have destroyed at least one giant robot during the course of the comic so I don't like my odds.


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## Sped Xing (May 7, 2021)

I'd take him down with a diabolical strategy of neglecting preventative maintenance.


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## Mr. ShadowCreek (May 7, 2021)

He shows up in my nightmares and kills me like Sonic.EXE.


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## Wraith (May 8, 2021)

*Wraith appears with help!*
WRAITH
9 X HIGH LEVEL LORDS
9 X HIGH LEVEL NINJAS
9 X ELITE LEVEL SUCCUBI
...
Battle goes ok. The girls think you're cute and for them I let you go without splattering you into the afterlife.


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## Lame Entropy (May 10, 2021)

I get BTFO but live.


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## RussianParasite (May 10, 2021)

You look like one of my operatives. I would win simply by telling you to go back to the troll farm.


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## Goyslop Muncher (May 10, 2021)

I wouldn't dare fight the king. I kneel.


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## Madre Muerte (May 10, 2021)

Is that a nu-metal singer? If so, I win. If not, I lose.


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## The Last Stand (May 10, 2021)

Madre Muerte said:


> Is that a nu-metal singer? If so, I win. If not, I lose.


Throw some holy water at you. Call it a day.


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## TheBest (May 10, 2021)

The Last Stand said:


> Throw some holy water at you. Call it a day.


I can take em


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## The Last Stand (May 10, 2021)

TheBest said:


> I can take em


Don't make me play my Trump card. 

Pull the cord.


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## Crex Crex (May 10, 2021)

I get bored and die


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## NPC (May 10, 2021)

trevshoms said:


> I win if we agree to settle this with a children's card game


I love consuming games created for adult-children.


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## TFT-A9 (May 10, 2021)

It's an NPC, dying is what they do.  No problem.


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## Lame Entropy (May 12, 2021)

I've seen enough anime to destroy the mech.


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## Sped Xing (May 12, 2021)

I do a spiky blue strip tease until that gas mask fogs up, then I strike.


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## Desu Vult (May 12, 2021)

72 incels for my avatar, inshallah.


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## A Grey Cat (May 12, 2021)

birdie friend?
birdie hurt bub!
Bub shoot birdie with gun
Just like Bub shoot mean man who kill father
Bub remember


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## Lame Entropy (May 26, 2021)

I can't win against retard strength


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## Spunt (May 26, 2021)

1 full butt for each side of the respirator, victory by asphyxiation.


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## White Trash Motorsport (May 26, 2021)

*Starts revving the engine* 

I’ll crush you like a scrap Honda Accord


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## p4ddys (May 26, 2021)

afraid I cant fight a monster truck. 
*gets pancaked*


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## Shokaract (May 26, 2021)

Your pasty ginger ninja skills are no match for the power of the Predacons.


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## Autistic zoomer (May 26, 2021)

Mecha national socialist I presume? I would perish due to lack of foreskin.


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## Stoneheart (May 26, 2021)

No Problem, i have drowned cats before


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## Nurse Ratchet (May 26, 2021)

Adam Reposa wins. You're all dead, & all your wives & girlfriends are now pregnant. Might as well lock the thread.


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## Duck Duck TUUURN (May 26, 2021)

I will kick your Blue Eyes White Dragon in the nutz.


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## Alcatraz (May 26, 2021)

All I have to do is pull off that nose ring and play country music.


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## Crocketron (May 27, 2021)

I will not lie, his chances are small but our fight will last several episodes


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## Death Grip (May 27, 2021)

I have a knife and a death grip need I say more?


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## Lame Entropy (May 27, 2021)

I've already seen the knife so the element of surprise is gone


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## Fetish Roulette (May 27, 2021)

My only chance is to get him to develop a crippling gambling addiction.


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## LonesomeDud (May 27, 2021)

I'm not the best fighter on the planet, but I can win against an inanimate object.


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## Overly Serious (May 29, 2021)

Cowboys are from a time when it was okay to slap women. I lose and end up making grits.


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## Cryonic Haunted Bullets (May 29, 2021)

The sight of big honking BOOBA only hastens my disintegration


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## Apis mellifera (May 29, 2021)

Cryonic Haunted Bullets said:


> The sight of big honking BOOBA only hastens my disintegration


While a black and white schizo-lookin' dude could easily crush one glittery bee, he is no match for the psychedelic attack of _the Glitterbee!_

I win. >:]


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## Crocketron (May 29, 2021)

It'll be a simple fight, though trippy.


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## Pissmaster (May 29, 2021)

That robot arm will probably kill me


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## Lame Entropy (Jun 3, 2021)

I'm not fighting a dude that I immediately associate with both piss and tickling


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## knobslobbin (Jun 3, 2021)

My encyclopedic knowledge of weird sex pervert films allows me to creep him out until he surrenders.


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## Cantercoin (Jun 3, 2021)

Show him footage of David Lynch calling him a retard which would be devestate him


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## A Welsh Cake (Jun 3, 2021)

That looks like a character from bravely default, which from what I know is a very traditional JRPG. I probably stand no chance but any excuse to punch women is fine with me.


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## A Grey Cat (Jun 3, 2021)

like this




death by trombone


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## Dwight Frye (Jun 3, 2021)

Groovy


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## big potato (Jun 3, 2021)

When picking between fight or flight, I probably should've picked flight...


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## Neurotypical Mantis (Jun 3, 2021)

i couldn't bring myself to do it. i would immediately break down crying


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## soy_king (Jun 3, 2021)

smallchungus69420 said:


> i couldn't bring myself to do it. i would immediately break down crying


I'd hire some Klingons to do it, but they'd probably just as easily do it for free.


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## Pustus (Jun 3, 2021)

just shoot him with a bolter, little space banker can't do much about that.


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## AmazingEagle (Jun 4, 2021)

Get a bulldozer.


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## A Grey Cat (Jun 5, 2021)

I'm already dead you can't kill me


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## Sped Xing (Jun 5, 2021)

That which can be eaten must be eaten, dead or alive.  My goat and Frenchman sides combine to make me an unstoppable gourmand.


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## Lame Entropy (Jun 5, 2021)

I can take an old goat man, my gas mask should provide some level of protection against the horns.


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## Sped Xing (Jun 5, 2021)

I order Worf to shoot you with his phaser, but Worf doesn't understand my bleats.


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## get_ur_gamon (May 5, 2022)

I can eat lot of peanut butter so this should be easy.


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## Officer Eradicate (May 5, 2022)

one punch and the fucker's down


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## Mayor Adam West (May 5, 2022)

Idk he seems kinda gay


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## please (May 5, 2022)

Old guy, I think I can take him.


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## Shidoen (May 5, 2022)

Fucking easy, I just have to try and run Fallout 3 in the computer.


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## Pocket Dragoon (May 5, 2022)

There's scarier things in my bathtub.


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (May 5, 2022)

I can just shove him underwater.


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## Pocket Dragoon (May 5, 2022)

Cheerlead-in-Chief said:


> I can just shove him underwater.


That's what the drain is for.

A skull like that will still make a nice addition to my bathroom accents.


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## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (May 5, 2022)

I'll smash him over the head with the empty glass bottles I got here.


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (May 5, 2022)

I am an Eldrich Horror from a kid’s edutainment game wielding 2 other profile pictures (Chairman Yang with nails and a Nullie NFT), so I think we win.  We also outnumber bat boy.


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## Milwaukee Macho Man (May 5, 2022)

I'm Bill Rizer.  Give me a spread shot and you're all D-O-N-E fucked.


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## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (May 6, 2022)

Can't we discuss things over a few cheap beers?  Maybe some hard lemonade?


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## Sugriva (May 6, 2022)

I would beat the FUCK out of a failed mascot from the 90s  Your days are numbered, Aero.

By the way your game sucked ass.


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## The Last Stand (May 6, 2022)

I'll gut and fry you on my grill. 

Who wants a piece of me?!


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## Pocket Dragoon (May 6, 2022)

I'll take a just little piece; because last one had too much blood.

@Sugriva
Furbies can drown, and do in fact realize when it's happening; they sing for their lives.  Also, Gremlins only spawn in water, not blood.

So.....  sing, bitch.


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## John Freeman (May 6, 2022)

I win becuz John Free Man is gordan free manz brother and he is speshal and can fite gud


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## SSj_Ness (May 6, 2022)

Seems doable.


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## Shiawase (May 6, 2022)

TBH I would allow Eliot Ness to take me into custody with the aid of local authorities, and put me behind the bars. There is no chance I would win this fight.


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## Bunny Tracks (May 6, 2022)

No question, I got this.


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## John Freeman (May 6, 2022)

SSj_Ness said:


> Seems doable.


Watch this you fornicating Afro-Caribbean American and say that again https://youtu.be/OHxyZaZlaOs


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## SSj_Ness (May 6, 2022)

John Freeman said:


> What’s this you fucking nigger and say that again https://youtu.be/OHxyZaZlaOs


Even easier than I thought tbh


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## Phalanges Mycologist (May 6, 2022)

I think I would be able to take him.


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## John Freeman (May 6, 2022)

SSj_Ness said:


> Even easier than I thought tbh


This U?


			https://kiwifarms.net/members/ssj_ness.93237/


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## FILTH Tourist (May 6, 2022)

I don't see why not.


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## SpotOnTheWall (May 6, 2022)

You're fuckin done for.


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## Skitarii (May 6, 2022)

Me vs bones in a wooden box

Do I have to fight the mausoleum guards too?


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## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (May 6, 2022)

Imma just rip a piece of my t shirt off, shove it in this vodka bottle, light it on fire, and throw it at you.


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## Neurotypical Mantis (May 6, 2022)

step on the furry problem solved


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## Doppelmonger (May 6, 2022)

I have some boxes with random stuff to throw at him and a Super Soaker™ at hand if _the man in fire that it is totally Volgin_ shows up. I think I got this.


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## FUTUREMAN (May 6, 2022)

I probably fly off into a wall.


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## Cloaca Rimjob (May 6, 2022)

I command a massive terrorist training camp in South America. I'll kill this guy no problem


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## Santa Fe Swag (May 6, 2022)

I'd body that mf. I run South America. ¡Viva Venezuela!


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## Pocket Dragoon (May 6, 2022)

I drop turds bigger'n you; no sweat (except for maybe the poopsweats).


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## Dvsilverwing (May 6, 2022)

Poorly, he's already drawn his gun.


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## TFT-A9 (May 6, 2022)

CANNOT GET TARGET LOCK.  CALLING ARTILLERY STRIKE ON TARGET'S LAST KNOWN LOCATION.  POTENTIAL FOR COLLATERAL DAMAGE DEEMED TO BE WITHIN ACCEPTABLE PARAMETERS.


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## Wormy (May 7, 2022)

Yeaaaa, I ain't got the ordinance for this one...


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## Agent Abe Caprine (May 8, 2022)

I die.


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## Lame Entropy (May 9, 2022)

The fuck is that thing, you win dude.


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## Lunar Eclipse Paradox (May 10, 2022)

Maybe I stand a chance.


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## Astro Loafo (May 10, 2022)

As the fight carries on little by little our clothes tear off as I continuously flop around and cast splash successfully with accurate precision. Lil by lil my micro transactions begin taking a toll as my opponent finally falls from fatigue. Completely worn from failing to strike me once her body begins to tremble. Cuts everywhere, the feeling of warmth flowing down her face dying her sight red. Is this it. Am I going to die like this. I'm I going to die by some gay fish she thought? No, breathing heavily she grabs her strawberry short shank and begins slitting her wrists. I'm going on my own terms faggot.... I win... but then the gay ass fish flops forward. Unbeknownst to her by draining her own self her body could no longer hold her up straight. She fell to the floor. And now she was in the perfect position to be pounded to death by a big hard thick meaty fish. Flop flop as every thrust slam struck her body. First a bruise. Then a crack. Eventually all that remained of her was a red stain on the floor.


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## WhatInTheActualFuck (May 10, 2022)

I kick whatever the fuck that football-headed thing is to victory (and likely three points).


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## Professor G. Raff (May 10, 2022)

If I tread on that fucker I am getting a face full of shrapnel... I finally understand the flag. It would die too, but that is a pyrrhic victory.


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## mrpatapon (May 10, 2022)

Man I never knew a Giraffe could be such a dangerous opponent...


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## Grub (May 10, 2022)

I turn into this fucking creepy thing and devour the little anime cat thing


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## Crystal Coomer (May 10, 2022)

I'd sustain a few dents but overall the sharp, firm metals would cut up it's insides if the carbonated beverage doesn't upset it first.


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## RomanesEuntDomus (May 10, 2022)

Soda cans are no match for my US-sponsored Javelin.


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## Dwight Frye (May 10, 2022)

I’d probably get too much of a kick out of you and make you one of my top soldiers/minions in The Shivering Isles

A rodent with a walnut helmet. How delightfully mad!


----------



## Jared Car (May 10, 2022)

I feel like I could give you advice on how to trim your mustache before we fight, just watch out for the mustache it's sharp


----------



## snailslime (May 10, 2022)

i win


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 10, 2022)

I would be fuelled by disgust and tard rage at pedo-scented weeb avatars. It would go badly for everyone.


----------



## Crocketron (May 10, 2022)

I could win


----------



## crows in guns (May 10, 2022)

i  will slaughter the person above me.


----------



## Officer Eradicate (May 10, 2022)

Damn, I don't think I'll win this one


----------



## SpotOnTheWall (May 12, 2022)

I got this one


----------



## babaGAReeb (May 12, 2022)

i can take this old man easily


----------



## Nobunaga (May 12, 2022)

I call ICE and win


----------



## Helium Bubble (May 12, 2022)

I like my odds here.  Assuming I can get him near a body of water.


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 12, 2022)




----------



## Frozen in time (May 15, 2022)

Maybe i can win the fight


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 15, 2022)

He's a captain, I'm only a sergeant.


----------



## SlipNHonk (May 15, 2022)

emag airlocks at escape, space lube floor as sergeant is after me, watch him slide into space. Proceed to hunt down the Captain after I become a hulk, courtesy of the stations Geneticists.


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (May 15, 2022)

Both avatars would murder me.


----------



## MadStan (May 15, 2022)

I think I got my ass handed to me


----------



## Red Hood (May 15, 2022)

I think I can beat up a monkey


----------



## cuddle striker (May 15, 2022)

Red Hood said:


> I think I can beat up a monkey


if I win, I can fix them


----------



## Xenomorph (May 15, 2022)

How about a lot of us?


----------



## Shidoen (May 15, 2022)

Xenomorph said:


> How about a lot of us?


Either mating press or mating murder.


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 15, 2022)




----------



## tiefling (May 16, 2022)

I don’t know why I’d fight him when we can team up against Jerry and Kramer.


----------



## Red Hood (May 16, 2022)

I'll lose on purpose. Grapple me. Grapple me hard.


----------



## BigDongWarrior (May 16, 2022)

21st century, sociopathic mercenary?

Could go either way tbh.


----------



## Red Hood (May 16, 2022)

Might win, might lose. Looks like an honorable way to die.


----------



## Wormy (May 16, 2022)

Ugh, not good. Even if we came strapped, we're exactly the sort of people he shoots.


----------



## Latvophile (May 16, 2022)

Same, nyu.


----------



## Neurotypical Mantis (May 16, 2022)

i'm going to put this anime girl in the microwave for 20 minutes


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (May 16, 2022)

Depends....maybe by luck


----------



## Tempest (May 16, 2022)

poorly


----------



## cuddle striker (May 16, 2022)

I can win that one


----------



## Wintersun (May 16, 2022)

I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, would have no trouble achieving victory.


----------



## bryz7 (May 16, 2022)

cuddle striker said:


> I can win that one


SONIC BOOM


----------



## Kiwi & Cow (May 16, 2022)

No.


----------



## RussianParasite (May 16, 2022)

I have been informed that the avatar above me has been harboring Nazis and is in great need of a special military operation.


----------



## EnemyStand (May 16, 2022)

RussianParasite said:


> I have been informed that the avatar above me has been harboring Nazis and is in great need of a special military operation.


Pfft. Way past his prime judoka who has his cronies throw matches for him? Not even a contest. I'll even let you tap in Steven Seagall, I always wanted to kick his fake martial artist guru ass too.


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 16, 2022)

Lots of concealed blades. Fortunately, I have a gun, and he looks pretty white.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (May 16, 2022)

Easy. I just blast him with my Potion Launcher, and heal-off any damage he may have been able to give me


----------



## snailslime (May 16, 2022)

i will tear his head off


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (May 16, 2022)

Isn't SeeU discontinued or something?! At least you'll live on in YouTube videos/MMD models. Alternatively, Oli London becomes the new voice provider.


----------



## WhatInTheActualFuck (May 16, 2022)

I might get deaded by the debbil


----------



## Nonconsentual Pronouns (May 16, 2022)

Though my medieval hazmat suit is snake bite-proof and I've got plenty of leeches to suck out any venom injected into any kind of possible weak spot, I'm not sure if either of us would make it out of that grenade's blast radius in time. Sounds like we'd have to make friends or we'd both die. That's okay though, he can be my med serpent buddy and eat the more uppity of the plague rats since he'd be immune.


----------



## Hepativore (May 16, 2022)

I think I could...my body is pretty elastic and my upper appendages can be whipped forward pretty far, and I am rather large.


----------



## TFT-A9 (May 17, 2022)

Should have mounted flamers for this, but pulse lasers will work in a pinch.


----------



## Frozen in time (May 17, 2022)

I will get completely destroyed


----------



## SolidZone 26 (May 17, 2022)

Easy win as I use the power of friendship.


----------



## Aero the Alcoholic Bat (May 17, 2022)

I'll bleed him dry.

Blood is healthier than all of this whiskey and hard lemonade I've been drinking.


----------



## AMHOLIO (May 17, 2022)

If I can't defeat a 3ft tall animal mascot I've failed as a human being.


----------



## BigDongWarrior (May 17, 2022)

Fucking my mom is gonna put her in a better mood, so I guess I don't really lose technically?


----------



## tiefling (May 17, 2022)

I can beat up a loli easily.


----------



## deepFriedBaka (May 17, 2022)

And I can beat up an animu grill. Probably.


----------



## Ronnie McNutt (May 17, 2022)

Horribly, get PTSD from le epic battle


----------



## CAPTAIN MATI (May 17, 2022)

Depends on which one of us is more drunk.


----------



## Wraith (May 17, 2022)

I use painful but eventually on lethal spells and have a drink with the guy afterward in the local tavern.


----------



## Overcast (May 17, 2022)

It's a Wraith. I probably wouldn't last five seconds.


----------



## Reaper King (May 17, 2022)

Easy win, no doubt about it.


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (May 17, 2022)

I can chill with the dead skeletons here underwater


----------



## Rear Admiral Butthole (May 17, 2022)

Too spooky. Would lose.


----------



## Boom Boss (May 17, 2022)

I wouldn't fight him.  I'd be his friend!


----------



## tiefling (May 18, 2022)

I could beat up a homosexual.


----------



## Buff Wellington (May 18, 2022)

I can also beat up a homosexual.


----------



## Certified_Autist (May 18, 2022)

I wouldn't have to beat him up, just keep taking bites out of him


----------



## tiefling (May 18, 2022)

That’s a cat with a pipe. I’m not fucking around to find out what kind of magics he possesses.


----------



## 0 2 (May 18, 2022)

Easily if I could convince them to stick a fork into an electrical socket.


----------



## CAPTAIN MATI (May 18, 2022)

I sober up and kick the ball.


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 18, 2022)

Too invested in larping as a lovable drunk. I move in for the kill.


----------



## MechanicusAdmin (May 18, 2022)

He will crumple after only being hit once by my weighty, leather bound, copy of  "Cosmopolitan Omnibus".


----------



## Amphotericin B (May 18, 2022)

Frag them with a rocket launcher, obviously.


----------



## Wraith (May 18, 2022)

Ah hell... I think I'm gonna need spells from another video game.


----------



## Sergeant Major Buzzkill (May 19, 2022)

He looks scary. But I think I'm able to take him


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (May 19, 2022)

Some retarded goth sloot? Piece of cake


----------



## Sergeant Major Buzzkill (May 19, 2022)

Not unless this retard knows how to bite. Which I can.


----------



## The Southwest Strangla (May 19, 2022)

Anyone can beat a loli.


----------



## Sergeant Major Buzzkill (May 19, 2022)

Aw, don't be so smug. I have an advantage that you don't.


----------



## Psyduck (May 19, 2022)

Goth Commie said:


> Aw, don't be so smug. I have an advantage that you don't.


Im a plump duck plushie, you are a loli

You would never hurt a plump duck plush


----------



## EnemyStand (May 19, 2022)

Maybe she wouldn't, but I don't really care. You relit the lighter, after all...


----------



## Yamamura Video Rental (May 21, 2022)

Not well I imagine.


----------



## chucks suck and fuck (May 21, 2022)

he has grenades but i have the schmoves


----------



## tiefling (May 21, 2022)

I can’t fight my sneed brethren.


----------



## Overcast (May 21, 2022)

A V-Tuber and her simp.

I think I got this.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (May 21, 2022)

Goth Commie said:


> Aw, don't be so smug. I have an advantage that you don't.


Sex appeal?


----------



## Sergeant Major Buzzkill (May 21, 2022)

PipTheAlchemist said:


> Sex appeal?


Bingo bucko!


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (May 21, 2022)

btw, I'd still kick her ass


----------



## tiefling (May 26, 2022)

I’d win


----------



## Wormy (May 26, 2022)

Not hitting a cutie unless she gets demon possessed. If that happens, yea, she gets the chainsaw, no sweat.


----------



## A Grey Cat (May 26, 2022)

*looks at the crazy man with the chainsaw with my big gree cat eyes and meos pleading for mercy*


----------



## Aunt Marge (May 26, 2022)

Bigger is always better


----------



## Moderna (May 26, 2022)

Margie is going DOWN. Imagine the size of the clots.


----------



## Wormy (May 26, 2022)

A Grey Cat said:


> *looks at the crazy man with the chainsaw with my big gree cat eyes and meos pleading for mercy*


Like I'd ever hurt a harmless little fluffball like that instead of giving it ear scratches.

Anyway, I've been exposed to so many bizarre bloodborne pathogens by now, Covid is the least of my concerns, so no worries there.


----------



## garum expert (May 26, 2022)

MT Foxtrot said:


> Like I'd ever hurt a harmless little fluffball like that instead of giving it ear scratches.
> 
> Anyway, I've been exposed to so many bizarre bloodborne pathogens by now, Covid is the least of my concerns, so no worries there.


Ok, I was feeling confident but I concede that I loose.


----------



## Trust Me I Know (May 26, 2022)

Unfortunately, Riker is a genderblob chaser, not a fighter


----------



## Johnny Salami (May 26, 2022)

These horns up you ass: fact or fiction


----------



## ( . Y . ) ԅ(´ڡ`ԅ) (May 26, 2022)

i'd kill that girl. periodt.


----------



## NaggotFigger (May 26, 2022)

Why would I fight Grugly?


----------



## EnemyStand (May 26, 2022)

Not only is he stupid enough to relight the lighter, he has no Stand and so I'd be invisible to him. DSP's screwed.


----------



## SomeDingus (May 26, 2022)

Free stand arrow? Sign me up baby, 50/50 chance.


----------



## DoomsdayElite (May 26, 2022)

Not well. That cuteness is most certainly a ruse to throw me off before I get a fucking poison dart in the neck.


----------



## TFT-A9 (May 26, 2022)

he's dead so... uh, I win by default I guess.


----------



## Combat Wombat (May 26, 2022)

I'm getting my ass kicked


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 26, 2022)

I'm at my best when beating up little girls.


----------



## NoReturn (May 26, 2022)

Space_Dandy said:


> Nobody out-dandies Space Dandy! Especially Newman in a cop costume.


I won't be able to beat Dandy, but I bet I could take Meow.


----------



## Open Window Maniac (May 26, 2022)

Your atrophied lungs from all that smoking and short size from being a cat means an easy win for me.


----------



## DeeDee Megadoodoo (May 27, 2022)

I would try to taze you but shoot you four times accidentally instead.


----------



## Dr. Geronimo (May 27, 2022)

DeeDee Megadoodoo said:


> I would try to taze you but shoot you four times accidentally instead.


I'd just yell ACAB  a lot and hope for the best.


----------



## Wormy (May 27, 2022)

Oh, Stormbringer will drink it's soul, no doubt about it. I don't envy how it will taste to her though...


----------



## Open Window Maniac (May 27, 2022)

I'm not feeling too confident. That armor looks pretty sturdy and that sword is bigger than I am.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (May 27, 2022)

Open Window Maniac said:


> I'm not feeling too confident. That armor looks pretty sturdy and that sword is bigger than I am.


I could try but the opponent might be too soft for me to rip.


----------



## The Foxtrot (May 27, 2022)

Cedric_Eff said:


> I could try but the opponent might be too soft for me to rip.


If you're on a boat, you're fucked. Otherwise I can't do shit.


----------



## Open Window Maniac (May 27, 2022)

Cedric_Eff said:


> I could try but the opponent might be too soft for me to rip.


I'd just absorb your blows like I was made of out some kind of spongey material. Your pink fur tells me you're too much of a wimp to fight back
@The Foxtrot I'd lose because I can't fight a battleship.


----------



## The Foxtrot (May 27, 2022)

Open Window Maniac said:


> @The Foxtrot I'd lose because I can't fight a battleship.


I am an old Submarine built by angry Gopniks, blin!


----------



## Open Window Maniac (May 27, 2022)

The Foxtrot said:


> I am an old Submarine built by angry Gopniks, blin!


So what you're saying is I'm even more screwed than I initially thought?


----------



## FILTH Tourist (May 27, 2022)

No way am I fighting that mad man. He feels no pain, has no morals, and has unlimited stamina.


----------



## The Foxtrot (May 27, 2022)

Open Window Maniac said:


> So what you're saying is I'm even more screwed than I initially thought?


Well, if you're at sea, absolutely.


----------



## EnemyStand (May 27, 2022)

The Foxtrot said:


> Well, if you're at sea, absolutely.


Nothing I can do works on inanimate objects. But nothing it can do works on me...so a draw I guess.


----------



## soy_king (May 27, 2022)

I would immediately get cut into pieces by the sheer edge. Neither gild pressed Latinum nor Cuties can save me.


----------



## The Last Stand (May 27, 2022)

Give me a wire hanger. I'll make you WISH you weren't born.


----------



## Newman's Lovechild (May 27, 2022)

I'm at my second best when I'm beating up old biddies.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (May 27, 2022)

Newman's Lovechild said:


> I'm at my second best when I'm beating up old biddies.


I could win if it’s solo but if backup is called I might struggle a bit.


----------



## Wraith (Jun 8, 2022)

*Tiltowait*
*Tiltowait*
*Tiltowait*
*looks to see if the ashes are moving...
*Tiltowait*
Just in case.


----------



## EnemyStand (Jun 8, 2022)

Wraith said:


> *Tiltowait*
> *Tiltowait*
> *Tiltowait*
> *looks to see if the ashes are moving...
> ...


Actually...I'd probably lose. And it would have nothing to do with anime tiddies for once.


----------



## Wormy (Jun 11, 2022)

EY! YOU! TONGUE BOY! 

I FIND YOU! I BEAT YOU! I SHOW YOU EXPLOSION MATCHES!


----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Jul 5, 2022)

It would be a tie


----------



## Phalanges Mycologist (Jul 5, 2022)

Depending on my size either total oblitteration or very monty python esq.


----------



## Synthetic Smug (Jul 5, 2022)

I'd do okay unless he got inside my reach.


----------



## Dvsilverwing (Jul 5, 2022)

I didn't see the mallet until it was too late.


----------



## Overcast (Jul 5, 2022)

He had his gun ready from the start. Never had a chance.


----------



## Wraith (Jul 5, 2022)

*sighs*
The only green thing I won't fight.
Here, here's the dolphin video. I won't fight you.


----------



## SSj_Ness (Jul 5, 2022)

I can win the stare down but that might be it.


----------



## Wormy (Jul 5, 2022)

He's not a horde of zombies, so I got a sporting chance.


----------



## Kurt Eichenwald (Jul 5, 2022)

I get shot once and die because I don't want to pay for an ambulance ride.


----------



## tiefling (Jul 6, 2022)

I think I could take on a hentai addict.


----------



## Crocketron (Jul 6, 2022)

I could win but the fact that she has colored hair means signs that she could be a threat or a false flag.


----------



## LMFAOForgotPw (Jul 6, 2022)

The tail has some range, but it can still drown.


----------



## Monkey Shoulder (Jul 6, 2022)

I don't even know what that is


----------



## Lame Entropy (Jul 11, 2022)

I can stomp a cat easy but the following mental turmoil would destroy me  so I concede


----------



## Marcus Tullius Cicero (Jul 11, 2022)

I'd probably be defeated. A Roman philosopher doesn't exactly have much in the way of martial prowess.


----------



## Baguette Child (Jul 11, 2022)

I can utilize my baguette-shaped child as a weapon. Cicero may have me beat in strength though so first strike will be vital.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 16, 2022)

Bitch looks like she'd fall to a hard-enough gust of wind. Let alone a blast from my explosive Potion Launcher


----------



## Larry David's Crypto Fund (Jul 16, 2022)

I'm trying to chase away the fennec fox with a broom. My neighbor sees me and thinks I am beating the rare purse dog that our other neighbor recently reported missing. I end up having to move.


----------



## Wormy (Jul 17, 2022)

No problem. I had more Hit Dice than he did when I was at "Young" phase.


----------



## Dwight Frye (Jul 17, 2022)

I’m fighting a poster. Not a forum poster but a paper poster…posted by a poster. 

I drive myself further insane pondering it all so I guess the poster wins


----------



## Hepativore (Jul 17, 2022)

I could probably win. I would have the reach advantage, at least.


----------



## Wraith (Jul 19, 2022)

I can't even make out what your avatar is...
*Tiltowait!*
Non-radioactive nuke fire, just to be sure.


----------



## Shitted Scaredless (Jul 19, 2022)

I can probably fight a cat.


----------



## Synthetic Smug (Jul 19, 2022)

I've got reach but this guy looks fast. A toss up.


----------



## Rear Admiral Butthole (Jul 19, 2022)

I'd never be able to beat that. I'd be distracted by his hat while he hits me with a mallet.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 20, 2022)

Fuck, he'd probably enjoy being a chicken. Looks like I'm not using my ultimate for this fight. Whatever, shouldn't matter. As long as I can manage to dodge all of his tard-strength enhanced attacks, I should be able to win


----------



## troon patrol (Jul 21, 2022)

Wouldn't be the first time I killed an animal.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 21, 2022)

Wouldn't be the first time I killed a fag


----------



## Wintersun (Jul 21, 2022)

It would be among the easier fights I've had.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 21, 2022)

It would be among the harder fights I've had (but I'd still win, faggot)


----------



## Jonah Hill poster (Jul 21, 2022)

I think we only fought because I confused you with Ratchet from Ratchet & Clank. There would be no wins in this fight, since it would look embarrassing all around.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 21, 2022)

I rip your autistic fucking cards, then push you to the ground and piss on your dead corpse


----------



## TFT-A9 (Jul 21, 2022)

Probably something like this.


----------



## Webdriver Torso (Jul 21, 2022)

Your batchall will be useless when your targeting computer will only display one red square, one blue square and beep.

aqua.flv


----------



## TFT-A9 (Jul 21, 2022)

fug ::::DDDDD


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 21, 2022)

I'd get blasted to smitherines


----------



## Wraith (Jul 24, 2022)

I wouldn't wanna permanently injure you or kill you because you're cool, but if you want to tussle I'm on the other side of this level.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Jul 24, 2022)

Wraith said:


> I wouldn't wanna permanently injure you or kill you because you're cool, but if you want to tussle I'm on the other side of this level.View attachment 3523701


I just Kool-Aid Mech through the walls and give Werdna a big AC20 hug.


----------



## Overcast (Jul 24, 2022)

Yeaaaah… I’m dead on arrival.


----------



## Wormy (Jul 24, 2022)

Aww for fuck's sake, I can't squish or eat HER, she's too cute. I usually only eat maidens if I have to teach some jackoff local noble a lesson about not letting his soldiers get drunk on my front lawn.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Jul 25, 2022)

It's hard to hit flying opponents with my Potion Launcher, but I think I can still manage


----------



## The Lawgiver (Jul 25, 2022)

I slap his ass and he screams for god but nobody answers.


----------



## Coelacanth (Jul 25, 2022)

I can't - I'd get too confused by the absurd amount of lore Homostuck has.


----------



## Super Guido (Jul 25, 2022)

I get sold something that will kill me instantly, and I somehow fall for it.


----------



## Overcast (Jul 25, 2022)

I’m not Megaman, so I’d probably lose.


----------



## Anon88 (Jul 25, 2022)

Osaka and Yotsuba are created by the same Japanese man so they're friends. No fighting happening here today.


----------



## Monkey Shoulder (Jul 25, 2022)

I'd beat that little bigeyed freak to a pulp


----------



## AFAB Transwoman (Jul 25, 2022)

Terribly. 

It was a losing battle from the start.


----------



## Wraith (Jul 25, 2022)

*Holds up a mirror*
You will never be a woman.
That's a wrap! I'm heading for taco casserole!


----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Jul 31, 2022)

Well am already died before I can even fight


----------



## TFT-A9 (Jul 31, 2022)

...But I don't wanna.  I liked that movie.


----------



## I (Don't) Have A Gun (Jul 31, 2022)

You think "no way that's a giant robot with guns! No way you can beat that!" and things would look pretty grim...
But if recent news is any indication I can win just by calling the pilot a racist.

So I'd say a win by disqualification.


----------



## Ted_Breakfast (Jul 31, 2022)

It would fall on me and I'd lose.


----------



## Prophetic Spirit (Jul 31, 2022)

A bit of a lighting bolt and a strong fire palm into his head = easy win.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Jul 31, 2022)

I've got like, 18 tons of ablative armor and a lot of heavy ordnance wrapped around the heart of a sun.  Kung fu magic bullshit ain't worrying me.



I (Don't) Have A Gun said:


> You think "no way that's a giant robot with guns! No way you can beat that!" and things would look pretty grim...
> But if recent news is any indication I can win just by calling the pilot a racist.
> 
> So I'd say a win by disqualification.



The worst part is he's right


----------



## Crocketron (Aug 7, 2022)

I'll probably lose


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Aug 7, 2022)

I'll probably win


----------



## Incorrect Password (Aug 7, 2022)

I'd win


----------



## Sprate Header (Aug 7, 2022)

Incorrect Password said:


> I'd win


My memory is shit, so unless I have a password manager to rely on, I'm fucked


----------



## Adoring Fan (Aug 7, 2022)

Most likely lose since I'd just run away and eventually he'll catch up to me.


----------



## Dwight Frye (Aug 7, 2022)

Depends who I am at the moment…

If Washington, I have you hanged like I should have done with that other twinky fag Benedict Arnold

If Hitler, I hand you over to Mengele to experiment on. 

Either way I win


----------



## Overly Serious (Aug 7, 2022)

Late stage Hitler I can probably take. But I have approximately 3.2 seconds before he morphs into George Washington and that's not enough. So... lose, I guess.


----------



## Sexual Chocolate (Aug 7, 2022)

...with sexy results.


----------



## Wormy (Aug 7, 2022)

He tastes like chocolate? Awesome. 

But probably loaded with STD's. Just gonna squish him.


----------



## Overcast (Aug 7, 2022)

It’s a dragon. And I don’t own heavy artillery or a magic sword. You be the judge.


----------



## Noxious (Aug 7, 2022)

I'm gonna 1v1 this child, drive it into the ground, and then send its parents some flowers and a formally written apology that their child is 1. Dead and 2. Terminally autistic. In that order.


----------



## Azula (Aug 7, 2022)

I probably win.


----------



## Blobby's Murder Knife (Aug 7, 2022)

I am already dead.


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Aug 7, 2022)

I can just sit on it


----------



## Lame Entropy (Aug 7, 2022)

I fear neither furry creatures or ice cream cones, I'm good to go.


----------



## Wormy (Aug 8, 2022)

Lame Entropy said:


> I fear neither furry creatures or ice cream cones, I'm good to go.


I WOULD squish, but I think it'd be more fun to test my new catapults on him. He looks like he might even be able to take a couple of shot.


----------



## Cats (Aug 9, 2022)

i will bite and kill everyone and infect with my toxoplasms (proin diseases), none can survive, huamnity will become Killed


----------



## timewave0 (Aug 9, 2022)

I could never hurt a poor innocent kitty, but if I had to I’d use my girth to squish him into a pile of gabagool


Spoiler


----------



## Cold Steel Brand Rep (Aug 9, 2022)

You came to this thread with a dead guy in a Ralph Lauren rugby shirt


----------



## Gutpuke (Aug 9, 2022)

I'd get fucked.


----------



## Stabmaster Arson (Aug 9, 2022)

Flawless victory.


----------



## Lorne Armstrong (Aug 9, 2022)

I’ll give you a Good Ol’ Down-Home Country Boy asswhoopin’, BITCH!!!


----------



## tiefling (Aug 9, 2022)

I gotta dodge that dildo but I think I could win.


----------



## Jonah Hill poster (Aug 9, 2022)

I win because legal advice trumps VTuber inspired anime girls. Always.


----------



## Prophetic Spirit (Aug 9, 2022)

Seems a fucking v-tuber.
Just cutting the head off, for god's sake.
Edit: Damn, ninja'd by albert.


----------



## Scooter Kid (Aug 9, 2022)

I'm absolutely wrecking a woman


----------



## Gutpuke (Aug 9, 2022)

I'm throwing that game out the goddamn window


----------



## Wintersun (Aug 9, 2022)

That goblin would be absolutely destroyed by my magnificent powers of darkness.


----------



## WolfeTone (Aug 10, 2022)




----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Aug 13, 2022)

Well that was a good hunting trip


----------



## Det. Sipovich (Aug 13, 2022)

After beating up two geriatric men and feeling nothing I got emasculated by a woman and ran home sobbing.


----------



## BONE_Buddy (Aug 13, 2022)

Hm...

A Supersonic Strategic Bomber loaded with 36 2,000lb guided smartbombs versus a Point and Click Adventure Game Protagonist. 

I would win a very high percentage of the time, but his ability to save-scum would eventually win in the end.


----------



## Shidoen (Aug 13, 2022)




----------



## Gutpuke (Aug 13, 2022)

He'd kill me with that shoe


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Aug 13, 2022)

And I'd kill you like a Jew


----------



## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Aug 14, 2022)

I'd slap that dick out of his mouth and call his mom to tell her her son is a faggot. The video of this would be uploaded to Tiktok. Flawless victory.


----------



## PhoninHomer23 (Aug 14, 2022)

Exposing the memories of what your avatar went through in war should be interesting.


----------



## Basement Dwelling Dork (Aug 14, 2022)

Lmao I can just tip him over and watch him roll.


----------



## Hollywood Hitler (Aug 14, 2022)

Lucille is thirsty. Shit, she is a vampire bat.


----------



## ñññ (Aug 14, 2022)

Tekken 7 hobo vs Big Boss? C'mon...


----------



## Jonah Hill poster (Aug 14, 2022)

Raiden and my legal advice will make you do the 4th Wall in the worst way possible


----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Sep 1, 2022)

I can take you out easily with the power of time


----------



## Gutpuke (Nov 15, 2022)

Dude died almost 20 years ago. I already won.


----------



## FILTH Tourist (Nov 15, 2022)

My head is going to get crushed between those thighs and I'll willingly let it happen.


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Nov 15, 2022)

I win via my dancing skills


----------



## be me just a rando (Nov 15, 2022)

I win, I can beat up a Twink any day.


----------



## Tabris999 (Nov 16, 2022)

be me just a rando said:


> I win, I can beat up a Twink any day.


I get decapitated somehow


----------



## TFT-A9 (Nov 16, 2022)

Pretty sure you already lost to a giant robot before brah


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Nov 16, 2022)

MacCoy is dead


----------



## Focken Kiwi (Nov 16, 2022)

He looks like a pansy. I could probably just grab his goggles, pull them away and allow them to snap back in his face and he'd keel over in a fetal position crying about it for 45 minutes. I might even feel sorry for the guy.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 16, 2022)

It'd take a good chunk of da pitcha, but all I need is a good fire extinguisher and golf club. I wouldn't even hafta to really start abusing toon logic.


----------



## Shidoen (Nov 16, 2022)

I’ve shot a vulture from like a foot away. I’d win so hard.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 16, 2022)

Shidoen said:


> I’ve shot a vulture from like a foot away. I’d win so hard.


Bullets? Gonna have to do better than that 


			https://images.kinorium.com/movie/shot/35933/h280_37358268.jpg?21560679169
		


Still, don't know if there's enough running time for me to toon logic a satellite strike to kill your rockerboy hide...


----------



## Abyssal Bulwark (Nov 16, 2022)

Maybe a loss; looks like he doesn't care about getting hurt. (Shidoen)


----------



## Shidoen (Nov 16, 2022)

Your medals can’t protect from my metal. You need to chrome up boy.


----------



## Jonah Hill poster (Nov 16, 2022)

We keep using one-liners from popular Reddit- approved actors like Ryan Reynolds and Keanu Reeves, and waste so much time that no one really wins.


----------



## Not a bee (Nov 17, 2022)

Ahahahahahahahah easy I'll just run and hide in the closet and cry


----------



## Gutpuke (Nov 17, 2022)

Well, I'm fucked since bees never work alone.


----------



## Rembrandt (Nov 17, 2022)

The feds would van me before anything else could happen


----------



## Karakhalkin-Gol (Nov 17, 2022)

Loss, the nails would give me some kind of infection.


----------



## Avant 'Tarde (Nov 17, 2022)

...I'd probably win, but I wouldn't feel very good about it.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 17, 2022)

Heya toots, you ever made it with a turkey? I'd rather luv ya than fite ya....


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Nov 17, 2022)

I'd stuff you with bread stuffing and eat you 
*dances the Funky Chicken*


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 17, 2022)

Human vs Robot? I've got a good chance.


----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Nov 23, 2022)

Four people can take out a robot by using a bazooka


----------



## TiggerNits (Nov 23, 2022)

I can handle a few corpses and a geriatric


----------



## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Nov 23, 2022)

I'd only have a snowball's chance of hell in a Dance-Off....



,,,,however, even the Internet a decade ago roasts me :


----------



## Shidoen (Nov 23, 2022)

This is implying I haven’t killed this neon looking fuck already for looking like that.


----------



## Resunoit (Nov 25, 2022)

I don’t think an AI in a chip can kill me.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 25, 2022)

I'll just dispatch a retrieval team to bring the little fella back for experimentation. Perhaps an assassin drone? Possibilities, possibilities.


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 25, 2022)

Three humans vs Giant Space Robot. Good chances.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 25, 2022)

From The Uncanny Valley said:


> Three humans vs Giant Space Robot. Good chances.


As if I'd fight a giant fucking robot MYSELF. I have these guys to do that sort of thing.


----------



## Crysocyan (Nov 25, 2022)

Could probably do it


----------



## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Nov 25, 2022)

As a mom avatar I think I would do pretty good.


----------



## Goofy Logic (Nov 25, 2022)

Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 said:


> As a mom avatar I think I would do pretty good.


If I had some drivers to a high-voltage transformer, the best i might do is shock the shit out of you.

But I'd get burnt to a crisp, soooooo, draw.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 25, 2022)

Someone get IT department and tell them to quit leaving their scrap around.


----------



## vladimirovanova (Nov 25, 2022)

Looks like I get raped


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 25, 2022)

Lol I'm so gonna fucking win.


----------



## AbyssGazer (Nov 25, 2022)

A hard battle. Robots don't breath, so I can't choke you with my Heckin' Valid Real Woman tits. I guess I'll just call my fellow Heckin' Valid Real Women at Google and have them turn off your servers.


----------



## Overcast (Nov 25, 2022)

He would get curb stomped. 

Absolutely no doubt in my mind.


----------



## NaggotFigger (Nov 25, 2022)

What, Adeleine?
Do I need to transform into Kirby just to beat the shit out of her ass again, just like in Kirby 64?
I would probably win, because, Poyo.


----------



## Soup Sammiches (Nov 25, 2022)

Oh this is easy. I'll run away crying and fattie won't be able to catch me. Clear victory!


----------



## TheRetardKing (Nov 25, 2022)

Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Nov 25, 2022)

I’m some kind of Eldritch Buer-esque Lovecraftian entity holding onto two avatars (Yang gang and an OG Nullie NFT).  While one should never underestimate elves, I think I’d win by frightening him or melting his brain or something.  I don’t know the specifics of being an unknowable horror.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 25, 2022)

Would take casualties, but we're bio-engineered vat grown cyborg ogres, we'll prevail eventually.


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Nov 25, 2022)

Rittenhouse can defeat a bunch cyborg ogres easy. He’ll only need three bullets to finish the three of them off.


----------



## Professional Lurker (Nov 25, 2022)

Aw fuck...


----------



## AMHOLIO (Nov 25, 2022)

I don't know what it is but if it's under 3ft I can kick it's ass.


----------



## The Last Stand (Nov 25, 2022)

I'll beat you like I should've beat Christina.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 26, 2022)

The ReCONstructed No LIKe CHIld ABUsER! EAt wirE HAnGeR!


----------



## Sneeds (Nov 26, 2022)

I FUCKING DIED 
Sent from my IPhone


----------



## KiislovaReloaded (Nov 28, 2022)

Sneeds said:


> I FUCKING DIED
> Sent from my IPhone


The most american mass shooting ever.
Using a belgian made SMG


----------



## SpotOnTheWall (Nov 28, 2022)

Probably not gonna win, but it would be a great story


----------



## Catler (Nov 28, 2022)

No idea who that is, but he’s an old man so it’ll probably go okay.


----------



## Wormy (Nov 28, 2022)

naZI...fUrrY...proTOcol 88 initIATed....KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL....


----------



## Gutpuke (Nov 29, 2022)

Those dude would kill me AND the planet I'm on.


----------



## Catler (Nov 29, 2022)

No idea who that anime charcater is, but she looks scary so I'd probably lose


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 30, 2022)

A furry? Is this a joke?


----------



## Troon_Patrol (Nov 30, 2022)

I don't think I'd fair well against a robot.


----------



## Rear Admiral Butthole (Nov 30, 2022)

The skull-and-crossbones on the cap is just for intimidation and can be beaten by flicking the cap off your head. Plus you'd be at a disadvantage in a darker environment because of your sunglasses. I think I could win if we're fighting on my terms. Otherwise it'd be a fairly even fight.


----------



## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Nov 30, 2022)

Rear Admiral Butthole said:


> The skull-and-crossbones on the cap is just for intimidation and can be beaten by flicking the cap off your head. Plus you'd be at a disadvantage in a darker environment because of your sunglasses. I think I could win if we're fighting on my terms. Otherwise it'd be a fairly even fight.


Absolutely, I would fight like my behymen is at stake and I'm sure it would be.


----------



## Poppavalyim Andropoff (Nov 30, 2022)

for them?poorly


----------



## Probably An Autist (Nov 30, 2022)

i'd get my ass hi-diddly-handed to me


----------



## Jebu Nagazi (Nov 30, 2022)

I will simply inform him that Santa isent REAL & he go *POFF* !


----------



## Wormy (Nov 30, 2022)

SnnNNNNnnnaCK...


----------



## Imaloser (Nov 30, 2022)

What the fuck even is that?


----------



## Resunoit (Nov 30, 2022)

Implying that I don’t already beat women all the time.


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Dec 2, 2022)

A kiwibird? Now I just feel bad.


----------



## Battlecruiser3000ad (Dec 2, 2022)

The transformer's tech support is my cousin
  victory is mine


----------



## TooManyKittens (Dec 2, 2022)

My avatar has access to space lasers. Im pretty sure I win. Even if I die in the process I will win (phyrric victories kinda suck though)


----------



## Ishtar (Dec 2, 2022)

A stuffed animal? I think I'd be fine.

(btw my avatar is an actual deity).


----------



## Gutpuke (Dec 2, 2022)

Ishtar would smite me for the arrogance of trying to beat a god.


----------



## Big Al's Famous Pork (Dec 2, 2022)

I would feel pity and not fight at all.


----------



## Arianne Chan (Dec 3, 2022)

L


----------



## Catler (Dec 3, 2022)

An anime character who looks a bit sleepy? No issue, I could win and take the santa hat


----------



## vladimirovanova (Dec 3, 2022)

Nazi Tails is not going down lightly


----------



## Arianne Chan (Dec 3, 2022)

He has a baseball bat, i probably lose


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 3, 2022)

Easy.


----------



## Crex Crex (Dec 4, 2022)

What would she do, scratch me?


----------



## Officer Eradicate (Dec 4, 2022)

A prehistoric bird?
Nah I'm fucked


----------



## Ishtar (Dec 4, 2022)

A retard in a Santa hat? I think I’d win.


----------



## Crex Crex (Dec 4, 2022)

How tf am I supposed to fight a sumerian deity.


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Dec 4, 2022)

COME AT ME YOU LONG NECKED MOTHERFUCKER


----------



## Wormy (Dec 4, 2022)

Shit, I don't think a .44 slug is going to cut it....


----------



## CowPox (Dec 4, 2022)

Depends how quick their draw is.


----------



## Sergeant Major Buzzkill (Dec 5, 2022)

The bitch gave me cowpox


----------



## Ghostface Killah (Dec 5, 2022)

^I bust a cap in yo cowpox havin' ass


----------



## Zirnwyb (Dec 5, 2022)

He's a fucking ghost. How does one even fight that?


----------



## Wormy (Dec 6, 2022)

I don't see any kevlar or ceramic plating in that bellyshirt, sweetie. You gettin shot.


----------



## I faked the autism (Dec 6, 2022)

Wormy said:


> I don't see any kevlar or ceramic plating in that bellyshirt, sweetie. You gettin shot.


I'm leaving you dead in front of a Walmart covered in your own shit and piss.


----------



## I Do Not Post (Dec 6, 2022)




----------



## Ishtar (Dec 7, 2022)

Some dude with a bowl on his head. I think I'd win.


----------



## Wormy (Dec 11, 2022)

A goddess?! I don't know if I can slay something like that, but I'm fucking insane enough to try! HA!


----------



## Shidoen (Dec 11, 2022)

I've fought hood niggers and won, a whitoid is no different.


----------



## Dozernaut (Dec 11, 2022)

Fuck I'd probably get my shit kicked in from that cyberprick


----------



## WolfeTone (Dec 11, 2022)

Awh fuck, awh shit, awh jeeze, awh man!


----------



## Quantum Diabetes (Dec 11, 2022)

I don’t even know what I’m looking at


----------



## Reotardo da Vinci (Dec 11, 2022)

I pick it up and take it on a guided tour of all of the cupboards and crannies in my house. We maintain a cordial - though sometimes frosty - relationship forevermore.


----------



## Wormy (Dec 11, 2022)

I'm a trigger happy elite commando and representative of the military industrial complex, you look like a hippie. It's like the Human Torch versus the Hindenberg!


----------



## Doppelmonger (Dec 11, 2022)

That torch looks menacing... Can we talk this out with your favourite beverage? We can also go to the bar of your choice. It is on me of course.


----------



## Wormy (Dec 11, 2022)

I prefer my girls with more meat anyway....


----------



## Stabmaster Arson II (Dec 11, 2022)

Above avatar appears to be French so this should be a cakewalk.


----------



## Ishtar (Dec 13, 2022)

looks like a black cook, should do fine.


----------



## Wormy (Dec 16, 2022)

Ah tricked Black Jesus. I can trick you too, white bitch.


----------



## Arianne Chan (Dec 16, 2022)

He has a pistol, i lose


----------



## Johnny Eastwood cash (Dec 29, 2022)

You can not defeat time


----------



## Wormy (Saturday at 11:57 PM)

Time? I beat time every single day. Two beheadings before morning report. One more before working lunch. Had one committing seppuku while taking a call from a client in Singapore. Had time to see both girlfriends AND my wife before submitting that finance report to home office and laying down for my leisurely 2 hour nap. Next day even more productive.


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Sunday at 12:01 AM)

He's armed. I'm on the wrong side of a cakewalk


----------



## Gutpuke (Sunday at 2:16 AM)

How can you kill that which has no soul?


----------



## Wormy (Sunday at 2:55 AM)

Hmmmmmm......knife specialists. Either a hard days work, or over too soon. No in between.


----------



## TexNash (Sunday at 3:08 AM)

WTF? This nigger has a sword. Uh ah, I'm out.


----------



## A Grey Cat (Sunday at 3:20 AM)

If I was a regular grey cat the best I could hope for is to have rabies and bite hoping you don't get treated in time.


But my avatar is based on church from pet semetary and texnash seems to be a normal human...I think it'd go something like this.


----------



## John W. Smoke Jr. (Sunday at 11:18 AM)

Easy work if the cat doesn't run away


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Sunday at 11:22 AM)

Some neon dude cracked off his ass? Could be very easy or very hard, no in betweens


----------



## Pizzapopzzzzz (Sunday at 11:33 AM)

fr id beat john & u w ur gay pfp


----------



## Tsar Nicky (Sunday at 1:19 PM)

She screams "Banzai!" and destroys my entire fleet.


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Sunday at 1:27 PM)

his navy's been destroyed, there's a communist uprising, and the kaiser might be planning something in the west. I like my odds.


----------



## Tsar Nicky (Sunday at 1:58 PM)

He colludes with the krauts to transport commies back into the country and start a coup. Millions dead, including my family. HUGE L


----------



## TrulyMan (Sunday at 2:06 PM)

This guy is so full of himself that you could probably tell him some bullshit and then walk him and his whole family into a basement and shoot them before they realized whats happening but that would be too easy.  I'd just invite him on a trip down Sarajevos beautiful craftsmen streets sometime mid 1914 with some Austrian douchebag and we'd get two birds in one day and save a couple of million lives from being ruined.

Granted the Serb nationalist might not be inclined to shoot a Russian tsar, but polish one might be inclined to zap both if the Serb declined.


----------



## Tsar Nicky (Sunday at 2:09 PM)

This nigga's just a hand. I'd chew it up until it was a mangled hunk of flesh and feed the scraps to my peasants or something, idk


----------



## bird.up (Sunday at 2:27 PM)

the only weapon he'd have is some ornamental sword so i could just cap him


----------



## TrulyMan (Sunday at 2:29 PM)

bird.up said:


> the only weapon he'd have is some ornamental sword so i could just cap him


I'd put this dude infront of a greenscreen and tell him I ll have a truck run him over.
Then Id have a truck run him over.


----------



## Super Guido (Sunday at 2:29 PM)

He'd probably punch the shit out of me.


----------



## TrulyMan (Sunday at 9:34 PM)

Super Guido said:


> He'd probably punch the shit out of me.


Id Run before punching the shit out of you cause that mofo thing in the middle of your face looks like a blaster.


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Sunday at 10:01 PM)

A disembodied hand, presumably with no soul. Just like me. This is a fair fight.


----------



## Muu (Monday at 5:20 PM)

I would report him to globo corp HR department


----------



## Psyduck (Monday at 5:27 PM)

quack


----------



## Waifu Days (Monday at 11:37 PM)

Kicking some duck up the ass. I win but I don't feel good about it.


----------



## Arianne Chan (Tuesday at 4:10 PM)

I take the L


----------



## Faggot Hunter Sanji (Tuesday at 4:15 PM)

This little git is up to no good, but luckily my army of trannies can handle the job.


----------



## Professor G. Raff (Tuesday at 4:17 PM)

I'm fucking dead. Too bad I'm not an attractive female because then I would win 100%...


----------



## SlaanyChaser (Tuesday at 4:57 PM)

Victorious??


----------



## Waifu Days (Wednesday at 3:13 PM)

Oh boy, I lose. This is no mere mortal. He's like a mortal times 10, in good way.


----------



## Trixie Clop 9999 (Wednesday at 3:20 PM)

My AI wifu turns off my life support


----------



## Smaug's Smokey Hole 2 (Wednesday at 3:26 PM)

It would go very well.


----------



## Mango Cobra (Wednesday at 3:49 PM)

I'm fairly certain a giraffe demon would kill me before I get anywhere near it. That neck gives it some serious reach.


----------



## The handsome tard (Wednesday at 6:16 PM)

Use Hyperion  shotgun 

'nuff said


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Wednesday at 10:22 PM)

I make an ad campaign that intentionally backfires horrendously, bankrupting him. Great success.


----------



## Wormy (Wednesday at 11:10 PM)

Won't even see who shot him.


----------



## tiefling (Yesterday at 3:17 AM)

I’m fucking dead.


----------



## Corporate Gigachad (Yesterday at 6:20 AM)

Some Kpop girlie? Probably an easy win


----------



## PipTheAlchemist (Yesterday at 12:54 PM)

Damn, this guy has the power of testosterone and globohomo on his side. I'm not sure if I could beat him alone...


----------



## Wormy (Yesterday at 9:53 PM)

ROIGHT! First one of you gobshites to plasma cook that mutant thing gets the first pint and the biggest hunk of baggis back at the hold!


----------



## Pissmaster (Today at 12:16 AM)

Depends on how well armed he is right now.  I probably wouldn't win, though.


----------



## bucketOjibblies (Today at 12:29 AM)

I dunno, I think that dude would kill me.


----------



## Waifu Days (Today at 12:38 AM)

Though he looks like a good boy, I'm dead.


----------



## tiefling (Today at 2:39 AM)

I’ve got the power of hitler and anime on my side as a failed Austrian jpop idol.


----------



## Wormy (Today at 5:14 AM)

Golden age Warhammer 40k > Hitler/Anime  anyday.  Eat melta guns, bitch.


----------

