# Married Kiwis! How's that going?



## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 24, 2019)

Strictly for married Kiwis, I don't think this is a powerlevel thing? Maybe? Fuck it.

In your married life, what have you encountered that made you stop for a second and re-evaluate things. For better or worse.

For me, I think it's that my husband is like my mother who has had TBI since she was 18. I love the fucker, but I can't help but give him shit at every turn. He is stock, lock, and barrel just like my mum. 

What are your experiences? 

(Forgiveness if I post this in the wrong place, I lurk more than I post. Please.)


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## ES 148 (Jul 24, 2019)

Hahaha, I'm not even married and I'm replying to your thread. Bet you feel dumb now, huh? Huh?


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## VV 422 (Jul 24, 2019)

why would you (presumably a woman) marry a man with a traumatic brain injury
successful marriages require at least one brain between the two people, and you've displayed a startling lack of frontal lobe development in this thread


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## UN 474 (Jul 24, 2019)

Whenever you like it or not you're married to me now. Expect frequent encounters with me. Also, I watch you sleep.


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## Jaded Optimist (Jul 24, 2019)

My husband doesnt care about lolcows, which is good.


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## Recoil (Jul 24, 2019)

I get into the occasional argument with my left hand, but overall I'm glad we made the commitment.


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## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Jul 24, 2019)

What's TBI?
I am married, but we lived together beforehand so there weren't any huge surprises. It's different having a partner in life, the support is great, but you have someone depending on your support as well.

It was an adjustment for sure, can't just take off and disappear for a couple weeks...


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## RetardedCat (Jul 24, 2019)

I'm not falling for the jewish trick that is marriage.


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## UN 474 (Jul 24, 2019)

RetardedCat said:


> I'm not falling for the jewish trick that is marriage.



Unless you wish to give your precious monies to your recently divorced golddigger.


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## Kenya Jones (Jul 24, 2019)

I feel like this post is just a mess of words made by a robot. nice try Mossad


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## Rand /pol/ (Jul 24, 2019)

>marriage




getting married is for cucks and fagits lol.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 24, 2019)

jackolasboot said:


> why would you (presumably a woman) marry a man with a traumatic brain injury
> successful marriages require at least one brain between the two people, and you've displayed a startling lack of frontal lobe development in this thread


Not saying my husband has TBI. He just acts like my mother. I just wanted input from others. And nope, totally a dude here.

For everyone asking, TBI is Traumatic Brain Injury,.


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## FeverGlitch (Jul 24, 2019)

>Kiwis
>married

choose one


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 24, 2019)

Vrakks said:


> Hahaha, I'm not even married and I'm replying to your thread. Bet you feel dumb now, huh? Huh?


You got me. You got me...


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## Kenya Jones (Jul 24, 2019)

FeverGlitch said:


> >Kiwis
> >married
> 
> choose one


the amount of 30 y/o boomers who are married here shocked me when i first joined. too used of being around early 20's incels.


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## Arctic Fox (Jul 24, 2019)

The closest my wife and I ever came to breaking it off was when she forgot my martini after I got home from work.


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## Vampirella (Jul 24, 2019)

We've been married for a long time. And I don't see it ending any time soon.


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## FeverGlitch (Jul 24, 2019)

Kenya Jones said:


> the amount of 30 y/o boomers who are married here shocked me when i first joined. too used of being around early 20's incels.


Was expecting the same. Seems like the system on the farms is rigged.


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## Arctic Fox (Jul 24, 2019)

Nekromantik2 said:


> We've been married for a long time. And I don't see it ending any time soon.


I'm glad you two are happy together ❤


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## Nut-Roaster the 2nd (Jul 24, 2019)

Does it count if it's a common law marriage? If it does, then, it's a really warm feeling. There's just something nice about coming home to someone who loves you unconditionally.


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## Tetra (Jul 24, 2019)

I think @Heinrich Himmler is/was married so share stories for us



Vrakks said:


> Hahaha, I'm not even married and I'm replying to your thread. Bet you feel dumb now, huh? Huh?



top 10 villains on kiwifarms


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 24, 2019)

Meh, I'm pretty happy.

She does things that piss me off, but very rarely on purpose.

Like @Corbin Dallas Multipass said, we lived together before we dun got hitched, so there wasn't too much of a surprise.

Edit: Oh, and she's kind of a libtard and probably wouldn't like the fact that I post here if she knew what this place was, but I love her anyway.


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## Vampirella (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Like @Corbin Dallas Multipass said, we lived together before we dun got hitched, so there wasn't too much of a surprise.


The only surprise I got was Mr. Nekro will talk German in his sleep sometimes. (he's mostly fluent) It's mostly about work.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 24, 2019)

Nekromantik2 said:


> The only surprise I got was Mr. Nekro will talk German in his sleep sometimes. (he's mostly fluent) It's mostly about work.


Lol, she tells me that I talk in my sleep.  Sometimes I'll even sleepwalk.  I guess I'm not perfect either.


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## Vampirella (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Lol, she tells me that I talk in my sleep. Sometimes I'll even sleepwalk. I guess I'm not perfect either.


The sleep walking/talking runs in the family. How do I know this? When we've had family gatherings and the men of the family sleep in the same room, they all talk to each other. I think they may be friendly Texan pod people.


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

Tetraphobia said:


> I think @Heinrich Himmler is/was married so share stories for us



And I still am!
Things just go well, we work, do our things and program our vacation next month.
Frau Himmler and I had to overcome lots of blunder together, but so far so well!



Nekromantik2 said:


> The only surprise I got was Mr. Nekro will talk German in his sleep sometimes. (he's mostly fluent) It's mostly about work.


I remember you mentioning that!


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Meh, I'm pretty happy.
> 
> She does things that piss me off, but very rarely on purpose.
> 
> ...


Frau Himmler too was horrified when I made her see this site. She said to stop using it because "it's probably illegal".
But then again, she's the woman that freaks out and asks if you are crazy if you download music from the Internet, so....

Another thing she barely tolerates is me watching anime or having Monika as my waifu. 
She takes a big issue with it actually.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

I have a very loving, supportive marriage with a beautiful woman. 

As for how she feels about it; fucked if I know. Do women even have feelings?


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Jul 24, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> Frau Himmler too was horrified when I made her see this site. She said to stop using it because "it's probably illegal".
> But then again, she's the woman that freaks out and asks if you are crazy if you download music from the Internet, so....
> 
> Another thing she barely tolerates is me watching anime or having Monika as my waifu.
> She takes a big issue with it actually.


My wife thinks anime is degenerate and oversexualizes young girls.
I really can't argue with that.



Exigent Circumcisions said:


> I have a very loving, supportive marriage with a beautiful woman.
> 
> As for how she feels about it; fucked if I know. Do women even have feelings?


Dude, all they have are feelings.


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> Do women even have feelings?


They have values and statistics, you can find them in the debug menu of their character file.


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## Vampirella (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Edit: Oh, and she's kind of a libtard and probably wouldn't like the fact that I post here if she knew what this place was, but I love her anyway.


Mr. Nekro said I'm not surprised you found a place like that, good for venting.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> They have values and statistics, you can find them in the debug menu of their character file.


I'll go rooting around for that next time we're getting busy.


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> My wife thinks anime is degenerate and oversexualizes young girls.
> I really can't argue with that.


Same with Frau Himmler.
She screamed at me: "She's barely 18 and still a schoolgirl!" but when I reminded she started dating me while I was 17 and she was 20-21, she quickly shut about it.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Oh, and she's kind of a libtard and probably wouldn't like the fact that I post here if she knew what this place was, but I love her anyway.


Well that's okay as long as you get along. My wife is  fucking based, she lurks the Furms and I keep her updated on things. 

She's glad I post here because I never shut the fuck up anyways so she'd rather I bothered all of you with my irrepressible urge to be a smartass than bother her all the time.


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

What makes it even more hilarious is that she's actually a teacher and has all those traits (both physical and in attitude) of those rapist female teachers you see in shota hentai.


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## Black Waltz (Jul 24, 2019)

who needs love when you have a shit ton of drugs


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## JambledUpWords (Jul 24, 2019)

I’ve only been married a few months. It’s still a bit to get used to. My husband is good at putting up with the tactics I use to annoy him. It’s okay though, because he can retaliate in return. Due to housing issues, we are living at my parent’s apartment (it’s not small, it has 5 bedrooms). That has been putting a little dent in our relationship due to lack of privacy and not as much control over certain things. Hopefully we’ll get our own place sometime. At least we’re saving money though.


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## oldTireWater (Jul 24, 2019)

Life is a minefield. Everything can cause offense. I audit everything I say. I can say "faggot" until the cows come home, but disagree about the weather and I stand even odds of a fight.

Even here I find myself thinking "nope, better not write that" just in case she traces this account to me.

This post alone will cause weeks of fighting if she ever sees it.

I've said too much already.


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## Birthday Dickpunch (Jul 24, 2019)

We have our problems and annoy each other sometimes just like any other couple. S'all good here.


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## ForgedBlades (Jul 24, 2019)

where do i get a gf?


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## Black Waltz (Jul 24, 2019)

ForgedBlades said:


> where do i get a gf?


use your imagination, that's how I met my wife


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

Dink Smallwood said:


> use your imagination, that's how I met my wife


Yeah and that's why your wife is imaginary.


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## RadicalCentrist (Jul 24, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> She screamed at me: "She's barely 18 and still a schoolgirl!" but when I reminded she started dating me while I was *17 and she was 20-21,* she quickly shut about it.





Heinrich Himmler said:


> What makes it even more hilarious is that* she's actually a teacher* and has all those traits (both physical and in attitude) of those rapist female teachers you see in shota hentai.


... Was she your teacher?  Also, lol, cuck


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## Pargon (Jul 24, 2019)

I married my collegiate girlfriend. At the time we were both strong leftists. She hasn't changed in her views, I have.

Now I have to keep my mouth shut every time she says anything political or she makes my life miserable for a week straight. I've never regretted anything more in my life.


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## Tetra (Jul 24, 2019)

ForgedBlades said:


> where do i get a gf?



the deep web



Heinrich Himmler said:


> Frau Himmler too was horrified when I made her see this site. She said to stop using it because "it's probably illegal".
> But then again, she's the woman that freaks out and asks if you are crazy if you download music from the Internet, so....
> 
> Another thing she barely tolerates is me watching anime or having Monika as my waifu.
> She takes a big issue with it actually.





Heinrich Himmler said:


> Same with Frau Himmler.
> She screamed at me: "She's barely 18 and still a schoolgirl!" but when I reminded she started dating me while I was 17 and she was 20-21, she quickly shut about it.





Heinrich Himmler said:


> What makes it even more hilarious is that she's actually a teacher and has all those traits (both physical and in attitude) of those rapist female teachers you see in shota hentai.




now this, this is why I @d you in here


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## Vampirella (Jul 24, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> What makes it even more hilarious is that she's actually a teacher and has all those traits (both physical and in attitude) of those rapist female teachers you see in shota hentai.


Teacher/Nazi role play in the bedroom...


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

I see you're mad and you've decided to show your ass. 

You are the ONLY one who can answer on a Married Kiwis, Still dating Kiwis, and Gay Kiwis threads.

You could seriously be an Irish/German male Dr. Ruth. You know all sex moves there ARE IN HISTORY.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> I see you're mad and you've decided to show your ass.
> 
> You are the ONLY one who can answer on a Married Kiwis, Still dating Kiwis, and Gay Kiwis threads.
> 
> You could seriously be an Irish/German male Dr. Ruth. You know all sex moves there ARE IN HISTORY.


U jelly, bruh? 
U jelly.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> U jelly, bruh?
> U jelly.



No I'm Peanut Butter, brah


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jul 24, 2019)

People who want to marry me deserve Darwin awards.


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## RG 448 (Jul 24, 2019)

> In your married life, what have you encountered that made you stop for a second and re-evaluate things.


Pregnancy.  Twenty years later I still have no idea how that shit turned out but no news is good news right?


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## Marissa Moira (Jul 24, 2019)

ISIS kidnapped my love pillow now I spend each night alone....


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

So ye fancy me your June Carter to your coke out Johnny Cash, huh?


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## Arctic Fox (Jul 24, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> And I still am!
> Things just go well, we work, do our things and program our vacation next month.
> Frau Himmler and I had to overcome lots of blunder together, but so far so well!
> 
> ...


But does she serve an afternoon martini? It's a cornerstone of a healthy marriage.


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## SmileyTimeDayCare (Jul 24, 2019)

Going pretty well thanks for asking. I'm a nicer person(in person) for having met her and it was a fucking unlikely meeting.

I recently exposed her to KF and she seems to thoroughly enjoy some of the characters. She is fascinated by AL. My wife comes from a country where generally people don't fat so AL is a bit of a novelty. She'll sit there watching AL and mutter _so fat_ then crack up laughing at some jiggling AL's body does. She also refers to all of AL's hauls as _Trash Day_.


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## Arctic Fox (Jul 24, 2019)

SmileyTimeDayCare said:


> Going pretty well thanks for asking. I'm a nicer person(in person) for having met her and it was a fucking unlikely meeting.
> 
> I recently exposed her to KF and she seems to thoroughly enjoy some of the characters. She is fascinated by AL. My wife comes from a country where generally people don't fat so AL is a bit of a novelty. She'll sit there watching AL and mutter _so fat_ then crack up laughing at some jiggling AL's body does. She also refers to all of AL's hauls as _Trash Day_.


Nothing unites a couple more than laughter. Especially laughing at the living incarnation of the fat chick from Monster House.


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## Xenomorph (Jul 24, 2019)

I'm married to @Y2KKK Baby , what do you think?


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## Pocket Dragoon (Jul 24, 2019)

Marissa Moira said:


> ISIS kidnapped my love pillow now I spend each night alone....



Sad news.....
Unless.

Have they posted the beheading video yet?  I think that counts as forcible-divorce, so you'll be a free agent!


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## Marissa Moira (Jul 24, 2019)

Pocket Dragoon said:


> Sad news.....
> Unless.
> 
> Have they posted the beheading video yet?  I think that counts as forcible-divorce, so you'll be a free agent!


Threw her off a building, she landed with a soft thud.


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## SmileyTimeDayCare (Jul 24, 2019)

Arctic Fox said:


> Nothing unites a couple more than laughter. Especially laughing at the living incarnation of the fat chick from Monster House.
> View attachment 857756



I don't think she really understands a lot of the cows but the fatties provide her some laughs. She finds CWC incredibly unnerving and I assured her we all felt the same.


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## Eryngium (Jul 24, 2019)

Although it's not official yet my relationship with your mom is going just fine OP.


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## Monika H. (Jul 24, 2019)

RadicalCentrist said:


> .. Was she your teacher?


Nope, but she gave me private lessons



Arctic Fox said:


> But does she serve an afternoon martini? It's a cornerstone of a healthy marriage.


Sometimes


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Eryngium said:


> Although it's not official yet my relationship with your mom is going just fine OP.



Mom wants you to pick up some m.i.l.k and condoms.


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## Haramburger (Jul 24, 2019)

a clever ploy to tick one more box on problem users' dossiers, not biting! @Vodka's My BFF is a glow-in-the-dark CIA nigger and I would NOT have sex with her (until I have guaranteed immunity for my testimony)


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Haramburger said:


> a clever ploy to tick one more box on problem users' dossiers, not biting! @Vodka's My BFF is a glow-in-the-dark CIA nigger and I would NOT have sex with her (until I have guaranteed immunity for my testimony)




I’m not @Vodka's My BFF  I was just joking with @Eryngium


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## Haramburger (Jul 24, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> I’m not @Vodka's My BFF  I was just joking with @Eryngium


Despite the Person of Interest tag, posting after you does not mean whatever it conveyed was about you.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Haramburger said:


> Despite the Person of Interest tag, posting after you does not mean whatever it conveyed was about you.




Whatever. Keep the dream alive.


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## JambledUpWords (Jul 24, 2019)

Eryngium said:


> Although it's not official yet my relationship with your mom is going just fine OP.


@Ron /pol/ is in a relationship with your mom. @Ron /pol/ could be your potential step dad


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 24, 2019)

Haramburger said:


> Despite the Person of Interest tag, posting after you does not mean whatever it conveyed was about you.


Everything is about Pam. Even things that have nothing to do with her like love or rational thought.


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## BoingoTango (Jul 24, 2019)

I got married so I had someone who would make me tendies and get me up and dressed for school work in the morning. It's pretty good. Though, it sucks not being able to call child services when I don't get cummies.


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## BoingoTango (Jul 24, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> So ye fancy me your June Carter to your coke out Johnny Cash, huh?


And I'm sure it didn't take him long to start talking about Jackson.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> Everything is about Pam. Even things that have nothing to do with her like love or rational thought.



This is why I don't respect you at all. But your over emotional whacked opinions help too.


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## MrTickles (Jul 24, 2019)

SpergPatrol said:


> They are not just your lover, but your best friend who you can tell everything too.



This first and foremost. The central pillar. IF you can't be best friends with loads in common and shared interests, it's not gonna last. Best friends forever. I speak from observation.



oldTireWater said:


> Life is a minefield. Everything can cause offense. I audit everything I say. I can say "faggot" until the cows come home, but disagree about the weather and I stand even odds of a fight.
> 
> Even here I find myself thinking "nope, better not write that" just in case she traces this account to me.
> 
> ...



Sounds like a terrible, suffocating relationship. If you're having to hide away such innocent activities then its already over.

As for me I'm never getting married in a western jurisdiction. Might as well take out high interest loan from a Jew.


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## Arcturus (Jul 24, 2019)

Everyone kept talking about how marriage was gonna make our relationship totally different and ruin everything. I don't get it. My husband and I still just sit around in our underwear playing games and listening to Metokur streams. The only difference I've noticed is getting used to having a new last name.

I do recommend living with someone before you marry them though. It's really important to know how someone is in their own home and what their daily routines are like. There may be some shit that you don't want to deal with, or a fucked up secret that gets discovered, and it's easier to leave when the court system isn't involved. Get to know someone like the back of your hand before deciding to get married. You'll be happier for it.


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## Anonymous For This (Jul 24, 2019)

Breaking your rules.  I'm engaged, but not married.  

My fiance is great.  She's a great cook, she isn't picky, down to earth, isn't materialistic, etc, etc.  I have a detached garage where I work on my vehicles.  She paints a lot.  She moved her painting stuff into my garage so she could spend time with me while I did my thing.  I like stupid shit like that.   

What I will say, is I fucking hate people who talk shit about their spouse.  Fuck off with that petty shit.  If you're not happy, fucking leave.  On the other side of that spectrum, my best friend married this battleaxe of a woman.  I feel like he settled and he thinks he's stuck with her.  Fucking don't do that shit either.


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## Shaved Kiwis (Jul 24, 2019)

I'm married to the sea. Does that count?


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jul 24, 2019)

Recon said:


> I get into the occasional argument with my left hand, but overall I'm glad we made the commitment.



Your theme song is now "Better off without a wife", by Tom Waits.

OT - They put up with my shit.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 24, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> I see you're mad and you've decided to show your ass.
> 
> You are the ONLY one who can answer on a Married Kiwis, Still dating Kiwis, and Gay Kiwis threads.
> 
> You could seriously be an Irish/German male Dr. Ruth. You know all sex moves there ARE IN HISTORY.


You a little ass mad that you're still in Mommy's basement, boo boo?


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 24, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> I’m not @Vodka's My BFF  I was just joking with @Eryngium


Him, but I'm not offering, pookie.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 24, 2019)

Vodka's My BFF said:


> Him, but I'm not offering, pookie.



Thanks. Cause I wasn't asking.



Vodka's My BFF said:


> You a little ass mad that you're still in Mommy's basement, boo boo?



We don't have a basement but you're right, I'm a little ass mad.

Although, many people still think I'm fat and big ass mad. But I guess we're not here for facts, are we, dear?


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## wylfım (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> We don't have a basement but you're right, I'm a little ass mad.
> 
> Although, many people still think I'm fat and big ass mad. But I guess we're not here for facts, are we, dear?


stop shitting up the thread with your autistic replies you god-forsaken attention whore, there are people here I actually want to read, but you're not one of them


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 25, 2019)

Sorry for the pathetic slap fight, everyone. Some people need more Hot Pockets to come up with a coherent retort and/or can't resist sperging out over a legit topic. You know who you are. <3


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

At least i'm not Katy Perry. I'm good.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> At least i'm not Katy Perry. I'm good.


Normally I wouldn't even give you the time of day, but do you need some kind of validation, shug? Mommy and Daddy ignore you or what?


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## nekrataal (Jul 25, 2019)

I’m divorced now but I’m still gonna comment. My wife and I had some disagreements here and there, but she was the first woman who wasn’t scared of my snake collection.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

Vodka's My BFF said:


> Normally I wouldn't even give you the time of day, but do you need some kind of validation, shug? Mommy and Daddy ignore you or what?



Subject tends to get angry on an angry social media forum and lash out.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> Subject tends to get angry on an angry social media forum and lash out.


Pam, go to bed. Or at least fuck off. No one cares what you have to say.


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## Azafran90 (Jul 25, 2019)

I was married to a man, then divorced him then got married with him again after a while, and the lesson I learned is that one has to learn to take care of themselves as adults before getting married or else it's doomed to fail.
We have a little Azafran too


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

Vodka's My BFF said:


> Pam, go to bed. Or at least fuck off. No one cares what you have to say.



I wasn't on here to talk to anyone until you lashed out. This is why I loathe you people.

But still like sexy guitar geniuses with beautiful pythons.



wylfım said:


> stop shitting up the thread with your autistic replies you god-forsaken attention whore, there are people here I actually want to read, but you're not one of them



One of these days, it's coming....I'm going to knock you on your ass.


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## Clop (Jul 25, 2019)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 25, 2019)

Azafran90 said:


> I was married to a man, then divorced him then got married with him again after a while, and the lesson I learned is that one has to learn to take care of themselves as adults before getting married or else it's doomed to fail.
> We have a little Azafran too


That's very admirable. Good for you.


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## Kaede Did Nothing Wrong (Jul 25, 2019)

sort of poetic that the marriage thread gets filled up with pointless bullshit bickering


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## Arctic Fox (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> One of these days, it's coming....I'm going to knock you on your ass.


This autism has given me a reason to share more. Thank you, Honey.
My girl, bless her, is really into Mixed Martial Arts. We'll sit down in the living room with dinner and put on the fights. Not really into it myself but seeing her get riled up and yell at the tv is great.
"Go for the side, you stupid cunt! Fuck!"
I swear to God she only ever curses when we're watching the fights. Any other time not a single curseword. Not even 'ass'. It's hilarious. Love her so much.


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## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

Arctic Fox said:


> This autism has given me a reason to share more. Thank you, Honey.
> My girl, bless her, is really into Mixed Martial Arts. We'll sit down in the living room with dinner and put on the fights. Not really into it myself but seeing her get riled up and yell at the tv is great.
> "Go for the side, you stupid cunt! Fuck!"
> I swear to God she only ever curses when we're watching the fights. Any other time not a single curseword. Not even 'ass'. It's hilarious. Love her so much.




Good, one would think you’d give her all your attention instead of me but here we are.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 25, 2019)

My wife and I were together through very thick and very thin for a few years before we tied the knot and I think the reason it's really working so well is that we were both painfully aware of our shortcomings and honest about them. I know damn well that I'm an obnoxious ass for about half of each day so I've never expected her to like me all of the time; I don't like me much sometimes, either. So we try not to get pissy with the other person when they say "Hey, you're being a faggot, piss off k?". What am I going to say if my wife calls me a faggot? I'm on KF; I'm a faggot.

When things aren't going so well we usually just do the chilly civility thing for a while until we're ready to communicate properly and make up. There's bickering here and there and the occasional bout of loud voices and flashing eyes, with the attendant stompings off for a walk and a cigarette but most days it's nice, if not great.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the secret to my marriage so far is humility from both sides; we're human, we can be kind of shitty sometimes, everybody feels bad about it, tries to do a little better next time, and life moves on.

All in all, I'm happy with where we are now.


----------



## Clop (Jul 25, 2019)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> My wife and I were together through very thick and very thin for a few years before we tied the knot and I think the reason it's really working so well is that we were both painfully aware of our shortcomings and honest about them. I know damn well that I'm an obnoxious ass for about half of each day so I've never expected her to like me all of the time; I don't like me much sometimes, either. So we try not to get pissy with the other person when they say "Hey, you're being a faggot, piss off k?". What am I going to say if my wife calls me a faggot? I'm on KF; I'm a faggot.
> 
> When things aren't going so well we usually just do the chilly civility thing for a while until we're ready to communicate properly and make up. There's bickering here and there and the occasional bout of loud voices and flashing eyes, with the attendant stompings off for a walk and a cigarette but most days it's nice, if not great.
> 
> ...


Wish I had someone calling me a faggot 

I mean outside of KF. With titties.


----------



## Arctic Fox (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> Good, one would think you’d give her all your attention instead of me but here we are.


Don't worry we're both laughing at you, darling~


----------



## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 25, 2019)

Arctic Fox said:


> Don't worry we're both laughing at you, darling~


The best revenge is to live well. Let her be; she'll starve for lack of nourishment.


----------



## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

Arctic Fox said:


> Don't worry we're both laughing at you, darling~





Arctic Fox said:


> Don't worry we're both laughing at you, darling~


Ill laugh when you die of an overdose and choke on your vomit.





Exigent Circumcisions said:


> The best revenge is to live well. Let her be; she'll starve for lack of nourishment.




I don't know you so..ok. Whatever. You can't kick me out of a group I rejected and refused to join. But I can promise you, I won't mourn or miss you if you die. And you know, you reap what you sow. 

*shrugs*

Have a great night and tomorrow.


----------



## Arctic Fox (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> Ill laugh when you die of an overdose and choke on your vomit.


Did you quote me twice, or me and my wife each once?


----------



## DocHoliday1977 (Jul 25, 2019)

Arctic Fox said:


> Did you quote me twice, or me and my wife each once?




Embrace your destiny. But stay the fuck away from me and keep being an asshole so I won't feel bad about it at all. Maybe Tony can sell your soul to Satan twice. You are a fucking jerk and YOU helped that giant pussbag stalk and harass me. You deserve everything you get from here on.
My baby's daddy, bitch please.
Sucker


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 25, 2019)

My wife rarely annoys me and never makes me angry or otherwise unhappy.

Based on my observation of human interaction that means the misery is all on her side, and she's probably going to murder me.



Exigent Circumcisions said:


> "Hey, you're being a faggot, piss off k?". What am I going to say if my wife calls me a faggot? I'm on KF; I'm a faggot.



My wife calls me a faggot, too.  No one knows me as well as her.


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 25, 2019)

Husband describes our marriage like having your best friend sleep over with sex. We also do that thing where we talk to each other in bed about nonsense instead of going to sleep like we should.


----------



## Faket0Fake (Jul 25, 2019)

We have a healthy marriage. We've learned over time when we need affection, when to leave the other person alone and we have a good fight every now and again to keep feelings out in the open. It's worked well for the last 6 years.


----------



## TerribleIdeas™ (Jul 25, 2019)

DocHoliday1977 said:


> One of these days, it's coming....I'm going to knock you on your ass.



One of these days, I'm coming...I'm going to fuck you in your ass.


----------



## TiggerNits (Jul 25, 2019)

It's fine, OP. She drives me nuts some days, I drive her nuts some days, our kid drives us nuts every day. Wouldn't change it for anything, though.


----------



## DC 740 (Jul 25, 2019)

Hello how do I get married please


----------



## CharlesBarkley (Jul 25, 2019)

Green Puddin said:


> Hello how do I get married please



Give up on all your dreams and decide once and for all that life is utterly pointless.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 25, 2019)

Green Puddin said:


> Hello how do I get married please



You just go talk to the county clerk.  Make sure to have your Birth Certificate and driver's license.  It's like forty bucks or something, mostly for the neat diploma thing you get.


----------



## Psyduck (Jul 25, 2019)

Hyuck hyuck hyuck stupid betas, getting married to someone hyuck hyuck

I am obviously superior


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 25, 2019)

Green Puddin said:


> Hello how do I get married please


Honestly, we just ran off and got married one day. Seemed like the logical next step.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 25, 2019)

My wife and I just had lunch with her sister's husband.  Strange how we always seem to hang out with either him or her these days, but it's almost never a group of four.


----------



## Faket0Fake (Jul 25, 2019)

Green Puddin said:


> Hello how do I get married please



I'm not even sure how that one happened. The Scottish Pokémon trainer meme before it existed started visiting a bar I frequented and one day she followed me home and never left.


----------



## TiggerNits (Jul 25, 2019)

Green Puddin said:


> Hello how do I get married please



Talk to pretty girls. Don't build a future with them in your head, and when one talks back with a smile on her face and in her eyes, ask her to get dinner and tell her stories about stupid but silly things you've done that will make her laugh, from there, just follow your gut. Don't overthink it and remind yourself once a day that if it doesn't work out, atleast you're having a good time.


----------



## LazarusOwenhart (Jul 25, 2019)

Like, a decade in and things seem to be working so far. She's spat out two functional kids, neither of whom are displaying the early stages of cow-ism.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jul 26, 2019)

I've been married for a long time now and it's great having another person to enjoy life with.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 26, 2019)

TiggerNits said:


> Talk to pretty girls. Don't build a future with them in your head, and when one talks back with a smile on her face and in her eyes, ask her to get dinner and tell her stories about stupid but silly things you've done that will make her laugh, from there, just follow your gut. Don't overthink it and remind yourself once a day that if it doesn't work out, atleast you're having a good time.



That's how to find a wife. He asked how to get married.

I'm giving you an F for this assignment but if you show me your tits you might get a D.


----------



## Offen Ded Tardreee (Jul 26, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> That's how to find a wife. He asked how to get married.
> 
> I'm giving you an F for this assignment but if you show me your tits you might get a D.



If those tits happen to be D’s I’ll bump that grade to a B!


----------



## Pai (Jul 26, 2019)

it's true that you get fat after you get married

except i got skinnier and my husband got fat


----------



## Offen Ded Tardreee (Jul 26, 2019)

I enjoy marriage. We never fight, maybe bicker but compromise well. She hates cooking but likes cleaning, I hate cleaning after cooking. She knows where to scratch my back and laughed with me when I trimmed her name in my pubes (bonus points with women). I have no regrets, she’s my angel.


Ped Xing said:


> My wife calls me a faggot, too. No one knows me as well as her.


I think our wives talk to each other

EDIT: My wife calls me a faggot as well.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 26, 2019)

Pai said:


> it's true that you get fat after you get married
> 
> except i got skinnier and my husband got fat



He's a succubus


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 26, 2019)

Offen Ded Tardreee said:


> EDIT: My wife calls me a faggot as well.


Faggot is how we say I love you, but love is gay, faggot.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 27, 2019)

What I like about this thread is all the people responding "yeah, marriage is great.  I get to share my life with someone I love, respect, like to hang out with, and like to bang."


It reassures me I'm not doing something wrong by not being miserable like so many matrimonyfags


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 27, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> It reassures me I'm not doing something wrong by not being miserable like so many matrimonyfags


I really do hate people that describe their marriage like a bad sitcom. I get tired of hearing "LOL wife won't touch me, LOL husbands a dumb ass!" all the time. 

If I bring it up that their marriage sounds depressing I get one of two responses, they get quite and don't know what to say, or get defensive and say it's a joke. I even had someone tell me that wanting to spend so much time with my husband is unhealthy. This person is divorced now.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 27, 2019)

Oh yeah, the people who shit-talk their spouses never seem to consider that they're talking shit on themselves three times as hard.  So your wife's a nagging cunt?  Well, you're the sad sack schmuck who married a nagging cunt, lack the courage to talk to her about how she's making you feel, and don't have the balls to divorce her.


----------



## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 27, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> Oh yeah, the people who shit-talk their spouses never seem to consider that they're talking shit on themselves three times as hard.  So your wife's a nagging cunt?  Well, you're the sad sack schmuck who married a nagging cunt, lack the courage to talk to her about how she's making you feel, and don't have the balls to divorce her.


This is why I never entertain people's angsty tirades about recent exes: you're mad at yourself for fucking up, dummy. Quit blaming the other person for your incompetence. 

The missus and I had a five minute spat last night, I ended up just waving her off because she was being a faggot. She came back in from her smoke with a smile on her face and said "Sometimes you just need a good fight to clear the air." then we shared a drink and watched a movie. 

Good times.


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 27, 2019)

This thread is far more wholesome than i expected. I wish i wasn't so socially akward so i could find a wife.
But i've already made up my mind about dying alone, so it's not a problem if i don't get it.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 27, 2019)

I think "I'm just teasing them" is a really poor excuse.  I tease my wife all the time, but nobody else hears it because it's play between me and her, not a comedy performance for someone else.


I'm not socially awkward, but I am ugly, and that's harder to fix. You can wife up, Malagor.  I believe in you.


----------



## Kari Kamiya (Jul 27, 2019)

I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will.  I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 27, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> I think "I'm just teasing them" is a really poor excuse.


It's even worse when they say that after you see their spouse visibly upset. "I'm just teasing, he'll get over it." You know there is going to be a screaming match behind closed doors.



Malagor the dank omen said:


> This thread is far more wholesome than i expected. I wish i wasn't so socially akward so i could find a wife.


If I can find my Gomez, you can find you Slaaneshi love demon. He's not as into horror movies as I am but he loves to see me happy. How many guys will get you a Phantasm sphere for your birthday?



Kari Kamiya said:


> where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?


One day we looked at each other and realized we just felt comfortable together, and he said, "So, you want to get married or what?" It just slowly happened over time.


----------



## Offen Ded Tardreee (Jul 27, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> I'm not socially awkward, but I am ugly



I’ve always been a quiet introverted person and I’m no George Clooney myself. 



Malagor the dank omen said:


> I wish i wasn't so socially akward so i could find a wife.
> But i've already made up my mind about dying alone, so it's not a problem if i don't get it.





Kari Kamiya said:


> I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will.



I figured since I’ve known my wife years before we decided to tie the knot. She has put up with my quirks, we work and live together very well,    so we decided to claim each other till that scythe nigger in a robe comes for us. 
I’ve taken plenty of rejections (losers) before her and I finally found my love. From my observation of some friends don’t rush into a marriage, don’t be a sucker, know when it won’t work out, do listen and work together. Join some hobby or interest groups, get out and ask some randomers for a confidence booster. If all else fails, just use a club and claim someone your property. I have faith in you, if my bearded ugly ass can do it, you can too!


----------



## MrTickles (Jul 28, 2019)

So romantic


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 28, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> You can wife up, Malagor. I believe in you.





Nekromantik2 said:


> If I can find my Gomez, you can find you Slaaneshi love demon.





Offen Ded Tardreee said:


> I have faith in you, if my bearded ugly ass can do it, you can too!


It's really nice to hear this stuff, it truly is and i appreciate it inmensely. But some things maybe are not meant to be because indadequacy is a bitch to deal with. But i don't want to go full TMI with this or turn the thread into an awful pity party, so better not go into detail with this. If you are curious ask away. Plus, i must stay on my positive side since lately things have been awfully good. After all, if there is life there is hope and in this life only hard things are worth it.


----------



## Buster O'Keefe (Jul 28, 2019)

So far so stable and happy, but then we've never discussed The Question, so who knows, it could all end in disaster and divorce when that day comes.


Spoiler: The Question



Are traps gay?


----------



## MrTickles (Jul 28, 2019)

I'm going to kidnap my future wife. Wish me luck.


----------



## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 28, 2019)

Thank y'all for getting this back on the rails. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the responses. 



MrTickles said:


> I'm going to kidnap my future wife. Wish me luck.



Godspeed. Cholroform helps. Just don't put her in the trunk. A wedding dress and a trip to Vegas when she becomes slightly lucid might help. Cheers.


----------



## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 28, 2019)

MrTickles said:


> I'm going to kidnap my future wife. Wish me luck.


You really think you've got what it takes to subdue a seven year old?


----------



## MrTickles (Jul 29, 2019)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> You really think you've got what it takes to subdue a seven year old?



Inshallah.


----------



## hambeerlyingnreed (Jul 29, 2019)

3rd year anniversary this weekend. We're settled in nicely. Took our dog to the beach and then went out to a restaurant, which became an adventure of sorts since finding an open place on Sunday after 9PM is not easy when you don't live in Fatland (USA) or Fatland Jr (Canada) No booze, since we ride bikes to get around. Then we... had some exercise... on the way home. We ride bikes as our form of transport I mean. Yeah.

Worst part about being married is people assuming we have or want kids. One of the reasons we got married is that neither of us want kids.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jul 29, 2019)

hambeerlyingnreed said:


> Worst part about being married is people assuming we have or want kids. One of the reasons we got married is that neither of us want kids.



It really does get annoying after a while.


----------



## Exigent Circumcisions (Jul 29, 2019)

Kari Kamiya said:


> was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?


I knew right away that I could spend the rest of my life with her, but it took a while to get over the trepidation. 



Vodka's My BFF said:


> Thank y'all for getting this back on the rails. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the responses.


No problem, it's a good thread and we didn't need Pam shitting it up.


----------



## Fougaro (Jul 29, 2019)

Marissa Moira said:


> Threw her off a building, she landed with a soft thud.


My condolences! Was your wife one of the victims in this video?


----------



## Buster O'Keefe (Jul 29, 2019)

hambeerlyingnreed said:


> Worst part about being married is people assuming we have or want kids. One of the reasons we got married is that neither of us want kids.





Oscar Wildean said:


> It really does get annoying after a while.



@Y2KKK Baby Libtards detected!!

Seriously though, the whole offspring thing never happened for the O'Keefes, luckily we both were able to say 'Meh, lets have cats'.
Family eventually learned to shut the fuck up when it was explained ad nauseam how it was nobody else's fucking business. Fucking boomers will always think you're freaks if you are a hetero couple with no kids. Fuck boomers.


----------



## Y2K Baby (Jul 29, 2019)

hambeerlyingnreed said:


> 3rd year anniversary this weekend. We're settled in nicely. Took our dog to the beach and then went out to a restaurant, which became an adventure of sorts since finding an open place on Sunday after 9PM is not easy when you don't live in Fatland (USA) or Fatland Jr (Canada) No booze, since we ride bikes to get around. Then we... had some exercise... on the way home. We ride bikes as our form of transport I mean. Yeah.
> 
> Worst part about being married is people assuming we have or want kids. One of the reasons we got married is that neither of us want kids.





Oscar Wildean said:


> It really does get annoying after a while.


Lol, salty fat bitches. Go back to Beauty Parlour.


----------



## NyQuilninja (Jul 29, 2019)

Being married isn’t really all that bad 
There’s comfort in getting to know someone and grow as a person with them
Best part is they know and like you for your true self


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 30, 2019)

NyQuilninja said:


> Being married isn’t really all that bad
> There’s comfort in getting to know someone and grow as a person with them
> Best part is they know and like you for your true self


Also, being married extends your life expectancy by an average of 10 years


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 30, 2019)

I had decided to marry my wife, after significant deliberation, in less than five months.  After that, it was a matter of logistics.

As with so many carefully-planned moves in my life, I was accused of being impetuous, as I requested no council of war, and when you don't ask someone for their opinion, they assune you're just guessing.

EDIT: Well, I did speak with my girlfriend about her becoming my wife.  I wasn't romantic about surprising her with a ring in her food (what an awful idea) or anything that would make other people happy.


----------



## NyQuilninja (Jul 30, 2019)

Malagor the dank omen said:


> Also, being married extends your life expectancy by an average of 10 years


I know people often joke and how awful marriage is
but if you find the right partner then life is a lot easy
And more relaxed plus money and other things are less of a burden because there’s two of us working on the Same goals


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jul 30, 2019)

Y2KKK Baby said:


> Lol, salty fat bitches. Go back to Beauty Parlour.



Make me, butthead.


----------



## MrTickles (Jul 30, 2019)

Malagor the dank omen said:


> Also, being married extends your life expectancy by an average of 10 years



Staying married does that. Sadly most don't stay married and in those cases the financial ruin is significant. It can undo decades of tandem work.


----------



## betterbullocks (Jul 30, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> Same with Frau Himmler.
> She screamed at me: "She's barely 18 and still a schoolgirl!" but when I reminded she started dating me while I was 17 and she was 20-21, she quickly shut about it.


Hot


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (Jul 30, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> I had decided to marry my wife, after significant deliberation, in less than five months.  After that, it was a matter of logistics.
> 
> As with so many carefully-planned moves in my life, I was accused of being impetuous, as I requested no council of war, and when you don't ask someone for their opinion, they assune you're just guessing.
> 
> EDIT: Well, I did speak with my girlfriend about her becoming my wife.  I wasn't romantic about surprising her with a ring in her food (what an awful idea) or anything that would make other people happy.


It was her birthday. I got down on one knee, because despite being a poorfag I am something resembling a gentleman. She said yes, of course. Because despite being a poorfag, I have other assets. 

In retrospect I would have had someone record it. Things are foggy getting that close to my injury. I forgot about certain details of my life.

The proposal and the assets. I know how these internet people get down.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 30, 2019)

I have a house.  That's great marriage bait, if that's your plan.  Otherwise you'll have to be a lovable person, and the ROI on that is unimpressive.


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 30, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> I have a house.  That's great marriage bait, if that's your plan.  Otherwise you'll have to be a lovable person, and the ROI on that is unimpressive.


Thing is that i have 2 houses aside the one i live in (parents are filthy rich). Problem is that i want to get away from all that and get everything i have with my own two hands. I know i'm already in deep because of that idea.


----------



## Sped Xing (Jul 30, 2019)

May I have your inheritance, please?


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 30, 2019)

Ped Xing said:


> May I have your inheritance, please?


Unfortunately, thanks to the laws of my country parents cannot write off their children from their inheritance unless extreme circumstances. Still, i wish my gramps left his farm to me instead to my aunt.


----------



## TiggerNits (Jul 30, 2019)

My wife accidentally put my phone in her purse today, so I took hers to her to trade and she conned me in to stopping by the cafe near our house to get her a french vanilla cappuccino while I was on the way to swap them out. Our toddler conned me in to a fruit smoothie during the stop. Women and children are devious creatures


----------



## Kunt (Jul 30, 2019)

Who would've thought kiwifarms had so msny housewives


----------



## A Beached Whale (Jul 31, 2019)

NyQuilninja said:


> I know people often joke and how awful marriage is
> but if you find the right partner then life is a lot easy
> And more relaxed plus money and other things are less of a burden because there’s two of us working on the Same goals


It really is. Partner is the perfect word for a good marriage. You're a team, constantly working together. 

Almost a year married now and I have no complaints. We both hate where we're living but moving soon. Going through the stress together.


----------



## NyQuilninja (Jul 31, 2019)

A Beached Whale said:


> It really is. Partner is the perfect word for a good marriage. You're a team, constantly working together.
> 
> Almost a year married now and I have no complaints. We both hate where we're living but moving soon. Going through the stress together.


 As I’ve learned the home is one of most important parts, if you both don’t like where you are living it
 really impacts your relationship


----------



## Vampirella (Jul 31, 2019)

NyQuilninja said:


> As I’ve learned the home is one of most important parts, if you both don’t like where you are living it
> really impacts your relationship


Yes, we just moved in to a house this month. It took us a little under a year to find the right one we were both happy with.


----------



## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Jul 31, 2019)

Kari Kamiya said:


> I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will.  I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?


The one? 

Nah dude. It wasn't a moment. Don't base life decisions on a moment, they're over before they begin.  

It's not like that. It's like how you make a "best friend". You don't spot someone and be like "Oh yeah, that's the person who i'm going to share a ton of interest with and like to hang out with!"  You hang out with a bunch of people and notice you like some of them better than others.

How did I know my wife was "the one?" Well, we had been together for a few years and still wanted to be together. She said "We should get married", and it obviously meant something to her, so we did.  Still going good, so I guess it was a good decision. Plus I guess we save some money on taxes. She continues to have to clean up after the name change though, seems like a pain in the ass.

Too many people see dating and marriage as an inevitable stage of life. Like you're just supposed to date a bunch of people, then by a certain age, you just gotta pick one and pair off.  That's gonna lead to a shitty marriage though.  It's similar to the phenomenon in high school where dating is as much a social status thing as it is about romance, the "popular" people tended to date one another, and hearing them talk, they fucking hated each other.  I imagine if you carry that mentality into adulthood you're gonna end up in some shitty relationships.

Both myself and my wife have said to one another that we never thought we would get married. Just... we didn't see it as a stage of life one necessarily must go through.  So perhaps the lack of pressure helps, if you think getting married is going to make a big change in your relationship you're likely to be disappointed.


----------



## Malagor the dank omen (Jul 31, 2019)

Corbin Dallas Multipass said:


> Too many people see dating and marriage as an inevitable stage of life. Like you're just supposed to date a bunch of people, then by a certain age, you just gotta pick one and pair off. That's gonna lead to a shitty marriage though. It's similar to the phenomenon in high school where dating is as much a social status thing as it is about romance, the "popular" people tended to date one another, and hearing them talk, they fucking hated each other. I imagine if you carry that mentality into adulthood you're gonna end up in some shitty relationships.


For me it's quite shameful that the only gf i ever had was for 3 months and it was basically out of peer pressure that we both got together. But you have a point on the fact that you need to find someone with a lot of common interests and build up from there. It's not a matter of finding someone but more about knowing someone.

This is why i truly think that it's a fruitless endeavour for me, because i'm a filthy fucking weirdo. But as well, i follow the "If it's not broken, don't fix it" philosphy in this case.


----------



## Michael_Jordan_Peterson (Jul 31, 2019)

A Name But Backwards said:


> My husband doesnt care about lolcows, which is good.


I wanted to show my wife this place. She aint my ex though who would have been super into this place lol. 
Being married doesnt have the sexual tension and excitement of any other relationship ive been in but whatever. Still really good sex just not the same.  Its becoming what I expected. A really good friend I can talk to and share things with. Something I never felt like I needed in my life but it started happening in my early 30s. Its nice. Shes nice. Its difficult though for sure.


----------



## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Jul 31, 2019)

Malagor the dank omen said:


> For me it's quite shameful that the only gf i ever had was for 3 months and it was basically out of peer pressure that we both got together. But you have a point on the fact that you need to find someone with a lot of common interests and build up from there. It's not a matter of finding someone but more about knowing someone.
> 
> This is why i truly think that it's a fruitless endeavour for me, because i'm a filthy fucking weirdo. But as well, i follow the "If it's not broken, don't fix it" philosphy in this case.


Eh, before I got married I had only really dated 2 girls, and even then I use the term 'dated' pretty fucking loosely. When I met my wife it was just because she seemed cool and we shared some interests, there was no romantic intent (at least on my part) at first.  We just kept wanting to hang out together.

There's a lot of people out there, and plenty of them are weird.  Of course it's easy for me to say "Eh, don't worry about it" when I basically just stumbled my way into it, but I'm a fucking weirdo too, so it's not hopeless.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Jul 31, 2019)

Kari Kamiya said:


> I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will.  I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?



Definitely a quiet ninja-sneak one. We had met once or twice in person as we lived in different states. I relocated after about 6 months of constant texting and video chats. We lived together for about a year and then tied the knot.  Not exactly the most romantic of stories, but as I see it, you'll never know unless you're willing to go out on a limb. We went out to dinner after we got off work one day and I couldn't see myself with anyone else.


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## TiggerNits (Jul 31, 2019)

Kari Kamiya said:


> I love hearing marriage stories as a hopeless romantic, gives me the fuzzy-wuzzies I don't have and probably never will.  I have a lot of questions I guess, but to the married Kiwis, was the moment where you knew your SO was the one a big lightning bolt one or the quiet ninja-sneak one?



I married the cutest girl working at the gym. My wife was 20, I had just turned 31 when we met. I flirted with her for about 7 months, she was engaged to some guy in the Air Force. She broke up with him because he told her he didn't want her to come join him in Japan, because his sister wanted to fly out and his mom would be mad if she had found out that she (my wife) was there. She figured he was just a huge momma's boy and didn't want to have to share a husband with his sister and mother. 

I took her out for her 21st birthday since her friend had just found out she was pregnant and didn';t want to go bar hoping. We spent the night singing bad covers of songs from 80s movies, she came home with me and never left. We got married on a friend's boat at sunset in the San Diego bay a few years after with a few close friends and immediate family on board, including her grandfather, who was also celebrating his 80th birthday and was thrilled to be out at sea for the first time since he got out of the Navy in 1964. He's still with us and recently he and my  wife's grandmother moved in to a condo near our house, so he still tells me how it was one of the greatest days of his life.


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## Buster O'Keefe (Jul 31, 2019)

Corbin Dallas Multipass said:


> There's a lot of people out there, and plenty of them are weird. Of course it's easy for me to say "Eh, don't worry about it" when I basically just stumbled my way into it, but I'm a fucking weirdo too, so it's not hopeless


Somwhere in that ramble is a message that should be on a Hallmark card for some occasion. I agree with the general thrust, I think.


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## Tomboy Respecter (Jul 31, 2019)

STOP TALKING ABOUT LOVE, YOU STUPID NIGGER FAGGOTS. FUCK YOU.


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## Sped Xing (Jul 31, 2019)

Corbin Dallas Multipass said:


> The one?
> 
> Nah dude. It wasn't a moment. Don't base life decisions on a moment, they're over before they begin.
> 
> ...



Oh man, people fuck their lives straight into oblivion trying to do what they're "supposed" to do, or else they base their lives on whimsy.

I was getting near that earlier, about how proposing to my now-wife was a sober decision that I literally made with a pro-con sheet that I mulled over for months.  I went full on Ben Franklin with it.

People I knew all expressed surprise when they found out because I hadn't asked anyone's opinion on the matter; almost none of them had worthwhile opinions in general, and the intelligent few could not possibly know the situation and the people involved well enough to know what I should do.  

Apparently I was supposed to ask permission from her father.  He was the only person in her family who didn't care that I didn't.  Ah well, I've never been one to ask permission in general.


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## Panzermensch (Apr 26, 2022)

My husband and I got married not too long ago (next week would make it 2 months) but we're dating for almost 10 years before then. Hell, he's been living with me in my house for the last 5 or so years now. We've been going just fine we might do an silly dumb argument here and there but we realize that it's dumb and apologize later. I remember literally realizing he was a keeper because I referenced gachi muchi back in like the early 2010's and he knew what the fuck I was talking about.

Edit:
Forgot to mention, Mr. Panzer actually enjoys lolcows and his favorite "newer" one is Cyrax. He just thinks he's fucking stupid and laughs about it.


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## updoot farmer (Apr 26, 2022)

I proposed to mrs farmer as an april fools joke. 

Joke's on me as we are going on a decade of marriage., sharing all the good and bad.


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## Accept Only Substitutes (Apr 26, 2022)

My husband is my very best friend. We have very different hobbies and interests, though some do overlap. We hardly ever fight about anything, unless we go grocery shopping together! I've known him for over two decades, married to him for 18. I can't imagine life without him. He's as crazy about the cats as I am. 

He has no interest in lolcows and thinks this site is pretty shady. But that's probably his biggest flaw.


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## TiggerNits (Apr 26, 2022)

I was REALLY sick with a stomach bug (that our 5  year old son gave me) from Friday to Sunday. My wife took care of me and our son, cleaned the house and gave me some amazing sex on Monday when I felt better.


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## Kari Kamiya (Apr 27, 2022)

So since the thread's been bumped and I remembered it like it was yesterday, think all the stories here were what I needed since I'm now engaged, so that's exciting. The date's still so far away, but we're getting by day by day. We made it through a whole year of long-distance dating and the rare meet-up (because Covid restrictions were then starting to lift and we're both poorfags lol), we can do it again another year, just with planning added on now.

Engagement stories will help bring it all full circle.


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## Iamtheknifechampion (May 25, 2022)

Been good, but sometimes I miss being single, I miss the freedom of it.


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## Wormy (May 25, 2022)

18 years and no end in sight. It's fine with us. We're just about the only two people left on Earth who'll put up with the other one, so it's practically ironclad.


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## Panzermensch (Jun 12, 2022)

TiggerNits said:


> I was REALLY sick with a stomach bug (that our 5  year old son gave me) from Friday to Sunday. My wife took care of me and our son, cleaned the house and gave me some amazing sex on Monday when I felt better.


Oh yeah, I can actually relate with that, I got a bad sinus issue earlier this year, Mr. Panzer took care of me, he would even come in and hug me randomly every now and then. Of course when I got better about 5 days later he gave me fucking awesome sex.

Sometimes you just need some great sex after being sick to feel your best


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## Womanhater69 (Jun 12, 2022)

I dunno man, my lamp broke one day and I told her that she shone bright enough for me to not replace the busted one.
I somehow got an engagement out of that.


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## Wormy (Jun 12, 2022)

Tomboy Respecter said:


> STOP TALKING ABOUT LOVE, YOU STUPID NIGGER FAGGOTS. FUCK YOU.


Cry moar, incel.





@Tomboy Respecter Rates me Autistic when he's the one complaining like a autismo. Fucker, you could show movies with that much projection.


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## timewave0 (Jun 12, 2022)

Until I met my wife I always felt incomplete. Now I’m finished


Spoiler



im not married


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## Tomboy Respecter (Jun 12, 2022)

MT Foxtrot said:


> Cry moar, incel.


>Replying to a 3 year old post
I recant my old statement and redirect it at faggots like you. Dumb nigger.


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## Wormy (Jun 12, 2022)

Tomboy Respecter said:


> >Replying to a 3 year old post
> I recant my old statement and redirect it at faggots like you. Dumb nigger.


All you need is love (ALL TOGETHER NOW!)


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## Quack_Quack (Jun 12, 2022)

Only met the bastard because of a shared love of quirky late 80s British comedy programmes. Benn stuck with him for over a decade now.


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## Nut-Roaster the 2nd (Jun 12, 2022)

MT Foxtrot said:


> All you need is love (ALL TOGETHER NOW!)


All you need is Love! (EVERYBODY!)


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## Wormy (Jun 12, 2022)

Nut-Roaster the 2nd said:


> All you need is Love! (EVERYBODY!)


ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE

LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED....


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## The Fraggle Queen (Jun 13, 2022)

Not too bad. We met at work as teenagers, ended up married for a few years now, and we finally have a baby that I refer to as the Fragglet. He’s been with me through multiple surgeries and illnesses and I am forever grateful.


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