# I HOPE I DIE OF CORONAVIRUS



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

I want to infect a bunch of you motherfuckers too.  Fuck this gay, weak virus.


----------



## keyboredsm4shthe2nd (Mar 13, 2020)

me too tbh. This world sucks and I'm too much of a coward to slit my own throat


----------



## kūhaku (Mar 13, 2020)

Way I see it, if I or any of my co-workers get C19, those are some free vacation days right there.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

I am just going to go to a huge gathering and openly cough and sneeze and fall over weakly like I'm dying.  Then claim I'm completely fine and wheeze and spew all over everyone who is trying to remove me.


----------



## The Fool (Mar 13, 2020)

I really don't care if I get it. Even I survive, I wasn't going to reproduce anyway.


----------



## Homer J. Fong (Mar 13, 2020)

If I get the Coronavirus I'm going to go to every single PayDay Loan Center place and infect those vultures.


----------



## Schauma mal (Mar 13, 2020)

I use public transport over two hours every day. If I have corona I'll be a superspreader without any effort on my part.


----------



## Buster O'Keefe (Mar 13, 2020)

Just keep slurping the bat soup, that is tasty tasty shit.


----------



## Starving Autist (Mar 13, 2020)

I want it so that I can coof on my muslim neighbor who beats his wife, and the cops and landlord that aren't doing shit about it. Give me my little hats and puzzle pieces, I'll coof on you as well.


----------



## Wilhelm Bittrich (Mar 13, 2020)

I have major fun sitting in the tram and coughing like hell, well coughing isn't that hard when you smoke a pack a day. But the others faces, priceless.


----------



## TwinkLover6969 (Mar 13, 2020)

I lick every china man I see


----------



## Krimjob (Mar 13, 2020)

I have a few politicians here in mind...


----------



## Slimy Time (Mar 13, 2020)

Make sure you cough on that scumbag at work.


----------



## Wilhelm Bittrich (Mar 13, 2020)

News broadcast: "As corona targets mostly the elderly which are already somehow ill...."
Hey, ya heard that Joe, Bernie, Nancy?


----------



## dismissfrogs (Mar 13, 2020)

TwinkLover6969 said:


> I lick every china man I see



where


----------



## Kacho (Mar 13, 2020)

Wuflu is cheap low rent garbage just like everything else China makes.


----------



## TwinkLover6969 (Mar 13, 2020)

dismissfrogs said:


> where


the mouth


----------



## Near (Mar 13, 2020)

Just do what that one dude in Belgium did









						Man arrested after licking his fingers and wiping them on pole in train
					

Subway train was withdrawn from service to be disinfected, transport authority says




					www.independent.co.uk


----------



## Lina Colorado (Mar 13, 2020)

I don't mind getting this virus tho I rather not. I have people to take care of though, so I do my best to keep 'm safe. If I ever get it I will self quarantine upstairs.


----------



## GogglyGoblin (Mar 13, 2020)

Coof on my face, not online, and see what happens.


----------



## Tookie (Mar 13, 2020)

Ravage me, Corona-chan, I want it so bad.


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (Mar 13, 2020)

No I wanna be Typhoid Mary!


----------



## Orion Balls (Mar 13, 2020)

Hope to catch it in Florida next month. Maybe they won't let me leave...


----------



## jagerkon (Mar 13, 2020)

If you die from an anime girl virus you deserve it. Adapt and breathe through the fluid filling your lungs or perish.


----------



## Rokko (Mar 13, 2020)

HATSCHI!!!!! (achoo in german).


----------



## Ivan Shatov (Mar 13, 2020)

When I die, I want to go quickly and quietly, without being a burden to anyone I care about.

All coronavirus has revealed is more ways I would never want to go. I wake up some mornings picturing those Chinese assholes seizing up and dying on the streets. The victims who make it to hospital beds look like they've got radiation poisoning.

In a way, the people who got this early are the lucky ones. Their hospitals are not overflowing, the lights are not flickering, and some of them can even do interviews with news crews. It's not going to stay that way for long.


----------



## MarineTrainedTard (Mar 13, 2020)

I hope you die of Coronavirus, too  


jk ilu


----------



## Magog (Mar 13, 2020)

When you're so lonely and drunk you start thinking you can infect your internet friends with corona....


----------



## PonelessBizza (Mar 13, 2020)

How can you die if you're already dead?


----------



## Positron (Mar 13, 2020)

When we all fall dead where do we go?


----------



## Niggernerd (Mar 13, 2020)

I'm a NEET so you all should probably be ready to leave me offerings as i sit on my throne of dead chads and stacies.


----------



## Pygmy Giraffe (Mar 13, 2020)

Ivan Shatov said:


> When I die, I want to go quickly and quietly, without being a burden to anyone I care about.


Look on the bright side, if you come down with corona you'll have a generous timeframe to scour the worst of the internet's perversions from your hard drive, including any evidence of... this place. That would be one burden lifted off your loved ones, whose last memory of you would otherwise be stumbling on a cache of dickgirl hentai.


----------



## DocHoliday1977 (Mar 13, 2020)

If you really want to get the Chinese back, make them American teachers when the stomach virus is plowing through schools taking no prisoners.  That's being sick.

They'll be begging Mongolians to kill them.


----------



## Ivan Shatov (Mar 13, 2020)

Pygmy Giraffe said:


> Look on the bright side, if you come down with corona you'll have a generous timeframe to scour the worst of the internet's perversions from your hard drive, including any evidence of... this place. That would be one burden lifted off your loved ones, whose last memory of you would otherwise be stumbling on a cache of dickgirl hentai.


The killswitch has been in place since the late 1990s, it's a single keystroke I can activate remotely. I test it from time to time, now that everything's on SSDs I can do a complete wipe in under 2 minutes. Not that anyone is going to decrypt the drives, but this is future-proofing.

The only way it doesn't happen is if WuFlu sends me into seizures and I collapse in the street. Even if it failed, my wife would know I was trying to warn the world and understand.


----------



## VelcroPocket (Mar 13, 2020)

I plan to infect commies. If I'm gonna die, at least I will clean the planet on my way to the grave.


----------



## Sm0kINHaZefEEliNBlaZEd (Mar 13, 2020)

COOF MY LIFE INTO SNEEZES 
THIS DISEASE I WILL TRANSPORT


----------



## Shield Breaker (Mar 13, 2020)

I thought the plan was to let the virus take out the normies, and then Null would build his ultimate Kiwi Kingdom of Autopia? I figured you were a shoe-in for chief justice.


----------



## The Great Chandler (Mar 13, 2020)

>Wants to die of corona
>Isn't old and frail


----------



## Bad Gateway (Mar 13, 2020)

Dying is for communists. Living is lit.


----------



## Unyielding Stupidity (Mar 13, 2020)

If you really want to die, just commit suicide - it isn't that hard.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

Stupid shit I hear on the news.  People caring about what Trump says about a virus.

Bitch he isn't a doctor.  He's just a really stupid guy.  Who the fuck cares what a complete retard says about a virus.



Approx. 59 Robins said:


> If you really want to die, just commit suicide - it isn't that hard.



I have a better idea, how about I kill you and then wait until cops show up and then shoot at them until they kill me?

That wouldn't be that hard either you cock sleeve!

Luckily I don't actually want to die except from my beautiful waifu, corona-chan, you absolute shitbag.


----------



## BrunoMattei (Mar 13, 2020)

This is more hilarious if you imagine John Goodman falling back into the Walter character and giving Nihilists the CoronaVirus.


----------



## Anonymus Fluhre (Mar 13, 2020)

I already have the flu, I'm also not an old asian man so I wont die from the virus.


----------



## Thumb Butler (Mar 13, 2020)

I wouldn't mind dying. If you gotta go you gotta go.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

Fuck this dumb, gay virus that doesn't even do anything interesting like make you bleed out of your eyes.


----------



## peachpit (Mar 13, 2020)

I have flu/chest infection, I should definitely go outside and scare people.


----------



## Cryonic Haunted Bullets (Mar 13, 2020)

Tookie said:


> Ravage me, Corona-chan, I want it so bad.


If I get it I'm gonna cough on my dick


----------



## Red Hood (Mar 13, 2020)

You and me have a disease
You affect me, you infect me
I'm afflicted you're addicted
You and me, you and me


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

The Shadow said:


> You and me have a disease
> You affect me, you infect me
> I'm afflicted you're addicted
> You and me, you and me



>not linking the great Bad Religion song


----------



## MrTroll (Mar 13, 2020)




----------



## Spl00gies (Mar 13, 2020)

lol your arteries are gonna take you before corona-chan sets eyes on you, you know this.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

You ever notice even in the most awesome pictures of GG Allin that everyone else in the pic is a complete piece of shit?

GG himself was a piece of shit but seriously.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

Gwyllgi said:


> lol your arteries are gonna take you before corona-chan sets eyes on you, you know this.



Fuck you.  My arteries are awesome and you are gay.


----------



## Aria (Mar 13, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> Fuck you.  My arteries are awesome and you are gay.


if you pray to corona-chan hard enough then your wish will be granted.


----------



## Chomosexual (Mar 13, 2020)

If I get infected, I make it for Israel and then Greenland. Anybody else with me?


----------



## Count groudon (Mar 13, 2020)

Same here, but it seems the world plans to spare us of this Chinese-made liberation.

my kingdom for a plague that can finally end my suffering and take me from this gay ass world.


----------



## BrunoMattei (Mar 13, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> You ever notice even in the most awesome pictures of GG Allin that everyone else in the pic is a complete piece of shit?
> 
> GG himself was a piece of shit but seriously.



I think some of his music is fine. The documentary on him is amazing.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Mar 13, 2020)

Some of you guys are alright, dont go to Bel Air California tomorrow.


----------



## MrTroll (Mar 13, 2020)

BrunoMattei said:


> I think some of his music is fine. The documentary on him is amazing.



Directed by Todd Phillips of all people.

GG was the original edgy-reboot Joker.


----------



## Orion Balls (Mar 13, 2020)

Positron said:


> When we all fall dead where do we go?


Valhalla. To fight in the endless glorious battle.


----------



## Coldgrip (Mar 13, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> I want to infect a bunch of you motherfuckers too. Fuck this gay, weak virus.


Hey, don't lose hope just yet. Maybe it'll mutate from all that shit going around in San Fran and Seattle.

Have some faith  in Papa Nurgle.


----------



## Anonymus Fluhre (Mar 13, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> Fuck this dumb, gay virus that doesn't even do anything interesting like make you bleed out of your eyes.


If fills your lungs up with liquid so it has that going for it. It also kills the old so that millennial's take over the world (but not the old peoples wills because they learned long ago to take them off of it). Really severe cases cause your lungs to fill with debris since your body is reacting too fast to fix the damaged area causing even more damage to your lungs. if your lungs go, well there goes your organs.


----------



## qt farmer :) (Mar 13, 2020)

are you okay, babe?


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 13, 2020)

All who feel Corona's breath upon their necks are blessed. It is not a blight, it is her house. Join us.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

Papa Nurgle is the shit.


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 13, 2020)

TwinkLover6969 said:


> I lick every china man I see


From Chink Man A to Chink Man B


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 13, 2020)

God takes those who repent into his bosom.

Corona takes her bosom into everyone else's bosom, unconditionally.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

God I hate chinks so much.


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 13, 2020)

Chinks are like Jews in that they are the chosen people to bring our messiah to us, but everyone hates them anyway.


----------



## MarineTrainedTard (Mar 13, 2020)

Reminder that the Chinks threw rocks at a kangaroo in a Chinese zoo until it died.

Chinks are the fucking worst


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 13, 2020)

MarineTrainedTard said:


> Reminder that the Chinks threw rocks at a kangaroo in a Chinese zoo until it died.
> 
> Chinks are the fucking worst



Chinks are evil and they aren't even humans.


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Mar 13, 2020)

Of i get the coof im going to become a coofsassn and coof on targets for bitcoin.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 14, 2020)

If I get coronavirus I'm going to go to a furry convention.


----------



## Molester Stallone (Mar 14, 2020)

I've been fighting off something for the last few days. It's just a head cold unfortunately.  I'm sure I got it from being around my buddy and his kids.


----------



## not william stenchever (Mar 14, 2020)

Molester Stallone said:


> I've been fighting off something for the last few days. It's just a head cold unfortunately.  I'm sure I got it from being around my buddy and his kids.


hey at least it doesn't come with the incapacitating headaches and random aches all over the body my brother and I have been dealing with on and off for the past two weeks. the coofing is just an annoying cherry on top


----------



## Molester Stallone (Mar 14, 2020)

not william stenchever said:


> hey at least it doesn't come with the incapacitating headaches and random aches all over the body my brother and I have been dealing with on and off for the past two weeks. the coofing is just an annoying cherry on top



Sounds like the flu. Not fun at all.


----------



## BrunoMattei (Mar 14, 2020)

@AnOminous Have you gone full Anthony Wong in Ebola Syndrome yet?


----------



## Buster O'Keefe (Mar 14, 2020)

MarineTrainedTard said:


> Reminder that the Chinks threw rocks at a kangaroo in a Chinese zoo until it died.
> 
> Chinks are the fucking worst


They then ate it, probably. I too hate the yellow peril.


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 14, 2020)

Molester Stallone said:


> I've been fighting off something for the last few days. It's just a head cold unfortunately.  I'm sure I got it from being around my buddy and his kids.


Do not deny her gifts.


----------



## Aria (Mar 14, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> If I get coronavirus I'm going to go to a furry convention.


You're more likely to pick up corona from a bunch of furries since they're for known for having low hegeine standards.


----------



## Lost send help (Mar 14, 2020)

I dunno being a Typhoid Mary could be more fun


----------



## Pissmaster (Mar 14, 2020)

I hope some faggot idiot out there is wiping with their hands because their Costco was completely sold out of toilet paper and they're so fucking incompetent that they don't even have any tissues or napkins in their home and they're too dumb to think to even use like a sock or something and they're just sitting there on the toilet crying as they keep wiping their ass with their shitty hand and then have to sit there for like an hour washing all the poop out from their fingernails, only to have to take another explosive shit right after they just got done cleaning their hands


----------



## Gingervitis (Mar 14, 2020)

I dont understand why people are still freaking out over this. And why are people buying toilet paper en masse?


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 14, 2020)

Lost send help said:


> I dunno being a Typhoid Mary could be more fun



A Typhoid Maid Marian at a fur con.


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Mar 14, 2020)

Everyone is finally experiencing what it feels like to live as a codependent of a Cluster B Personality Disorder. The Cluster B in this case being (take your pick):

China
Mainstream Media
Social Media
The neoliberal world order
Statism


----------



## Lost send help (Mar 14, 2020)

AnOminous said:


> A Typhoid Maid Marian at a fur con.


Or I’d take a Troon Gathering as an alternative. This virus really could have been used to deal with the Furry issue if only there was a big con before the clamp down, shame really.


----------



## Shitpiss Babylord (Mar 14, 2020)

Gingervitis said:


> I dont understand why people are still freaking out over this. And why are people buying toilet paper en masse?


You know what's worse than dying of Coronavirus? 
Dying of Coronavirus with a shitty ringpiece.


----------



## Lost send help (Mar 14, 2020)

Gingervitis said:


> I dont understand why people are still freaking out over this. And why are people buying toilet paper en masse?


Doesn’t the Italian Strain involve explosive bowels? Maybe people are hedging their bets.



Also has anyone else seen the articles for ”what to watch on Netflix during isolation”? I guess they’re one company that's gonna make a killing during this, all streaming services really are gonna make bank.


----------



## The 3rd Hooligan (Mar 14, 2020)

I have regular flu, normies dont really know the diffrence tho so I get to creep and have lungs


----------



## The best and greatest (Mar 14, 2020)

@AnOminous is fat and I would not sex him. Please dont infex me bro I got old peepl livin with me they aint done nothin to you dawg.


----------



## Clones of Alex Jones (Mar 15, 2020)

So that's why you're not using the hazmat suit I got you...Inshallah Be a hero take the zoosadists and even more furries with your coughs.


----------



## Vlinny-kun (Mar 15, 2020)

I have well prepared myself and my roommates for a good month with food, water, and other supplies and y'know, now I feel empty inside for some reason. If I get it I'm taking everyone I know with me.


----------



## Your Weird Fetish (Mar 15, 2020)

Kill all whales said:


> You're more likely to pick up corona from a bunch of furries since they're for known for having low hegeine standards.


Also it's a densely interconnected sexually promiscuous population. Same reason a bunch of furries have have HIV.


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 15, 2020)

Your Weird Fetish said:


> Also it's a densely interconnected sexually promiscuous population. Same reason a bunch of furries have have HIV.



Which both makes it more likely to spread in that community as well as being more dangerous to members of it.


----------

