# Shart of Darkness - Ethan's trip to Africa



## SevenEightNine (May 10, 2022)

Ethan has mentioned going to The Gambia as part of his cross-cultural outreach program and new correspondent Lamin.

While this seems unlikely, he did end up on a spite trip to Portugal.

Additional Ralphamale motivation comes from @Null's unrequited dream, "I wish I had been a relief worker in Africa, but life had other ideas..." (citation needed)

Ralph's travel to the African continent is a source of many potential entertaining scenarios.

Vaccines?
Prison?
Hostile animal species?
Insect life?
Bush Medicine?

@HONKHONKTIME69 located this window into regional culture, to start things off.



			https://masksoftheworld.com/authentic-chokwe-pig-mask/


----------



## PyrrhicRustle (May 10, 2022)

Obligatory “The horror! The horror!” joke.
Seriously though if he gets into another fight, I don’t think he’s coming back this time.


----------



## HONKHONKTIME69 (May 10, 2022)

Even africans know not be a fuckin pig.


----------



## BlueArmedDevil (May 10, 2022)

Guntbola outbreak


----------



## Research Purposes Mostly (May 10, 2022)

There is a 0% chance he goes to Africa and that should be a poll option.
Even if he's *able* to go, there is no fucking way he has the money or the balls to fly to fucking Africa. 

Look at what he does on his trips; it's always about fancy cigars and expensive meals at expensive-looking places. Ralph has no interest in going somewhere new; he wants the same wigger-shit fantasy every time. He is too cowardly to engage with a wholly new experience.

Ralph is a broke, dumb, fat coward and will never go to Gambia, even if it would obviously be huge content for him.


----------



## Gamercat (May 10, 2022)

Research Purposes Mostly said:


> There is a 0% chance he goes to Africa and that should be a poll option.
> Even if he's *able* to go, there is no fucking way he has the money or the balls to fly to fucking Africa.
> 
> Look at what he does on his trips; it's always about fancy cigars and expensive meals at expensive-looking places. Ralph has no interest in going somewhere new; he wants the same wigger-shit fantasy every time. He is too cowardly to engage with a wholly new experience.
> ...


he wouldn't go to gambia cause that would actually be a smart move and ralph can never make good ideas.


----------



## Lone MacReady (May 10, 2022)

If he goes to wakanda he'll end up just like that cow from the end of Apocalypse Now.


----------



## I fucking love Cocaine (May 10, 2022)

You might want to add blown up by a landmine in the poll, OP.



			https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories/the-gambia-travel-advisory.html
		




> Exercise normal precautions in The Gambia. Some areas have increased risk. Read the entire travel advisory.
> 
> Exercise Increased Caution in:
> 
> ...





> Do not stray from main roads and well-traveled locations if you travel to areas bordering the Casamance region of Senegal.


----------



## Apex Ralphamale (May 10, 2022)

Ralph didn't actually decide to go to Portugal for real until a superchatter told him he could circumvent sex tourism laws by claiming to travel to a different country for other reasons, such as to 'own' someone online. Owning Andy by itself wasn't enough to push him past the point of going. 
Likewise unless there is another external reason probably related to one of his many vices, he won't actually go to the Gambia.

However, if for whatever reason he does go there after all, he is all but guaranteed to get into trouble with the locals. If he can't go a few days in Portugal without getting his shit kicked in, then he's bound to provoke the Gambians or Senegalese as well.


----------



## ZheZuoShan (May 10, 2022)

Ethan is not going to go. He doesn't have the money or clout needed to pull this off. Stay home or your gonna get hurt pigboy. You cannot survive outside of the shit hole you grew up in, let alone a man's world like Africa.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (May 10, 2022)

Authentic niggers hate wiggers like ralph.. he would be held for ransom or mistaken as a white farmer in minutes.


----------



## AncientPhosphur (May 10, 2022)

Ralph goes to Africa, the locals praise him as some sort of god due to his size and grotesque form. Ralph is busy live-streaming how great his 5 Star African day is going until the locals proceed to bash him with a rock and carve him apart to be used in ritual flesh eating of the gods to gain their power

But Ralph is too poor and gay to not go to Africa


----------



## ♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ (May 10, 2022)

I fucking love Cocaine said:


> You might want to add blown up by a landmine in the poll, OP.
> 
> 
> 
> https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/traveladvisories/traveladvisories/the-gambia-travel-advisory.html


>Ethan Ralph might step on a landmine


----------



## Far Queue (May 10, 2022)

He'd probably keel over from the heat before anything else gets him. Gambia runs about 90 degree highs year round (and can push over 100 most months of the year) with at least a 50% relative humidity, which creeps up above 80% during during the summer months during the rainy season. He won't even be able to go outside in that weather to get his ass beat by all the muzzies who won't put up with his Christ is King nonsense. 

He should go to Swaziland (or whatever the fuck they're calling themselves these days) which has the highest prevalence of AIDS (and a pretty high rate of tuberculosis as well) on the planet. Even if he doesn't get beat to death for trying to solicit sex from an underage prostitute, he'll definitely get HIV. Someone just needs to tell him that a third of the population in the country is 14 years old or younger and he'll be on the first plane there.


----------



## ChromaQuack (May 10, 2022)

It sure would be a shame if Warski did a 23andme and he came out as 5% gambian.


----------



## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 10, 2022)

Ethan Ralph vs. AIDS incoming


----------



## Jack Awful (May 10, 2022)

I don't think that Ralph has the balls to do something as cool and macho as flying to Africa. If he did I would be totally blown the fuck out and felted, though.


----------



## Desktop User2 (May 10, 2022)

is he against all kinds of vaccines? Even yellow fever? Is he that much of a wigger?

Edit: obviously HIV


----------



## Don't Tread on Me (May 10, 2022)

Ralph cannot go to Africa. There are too many hot black chicks who have never even heard of cocaine in Africa. Ralph would end up with a literal harem if he made it to the Gambia. It would not be God's plan.


----------



## BibiLivesMatter (May 10, 2022)

I hope he doesn't go to Africa, cause I would be so fucking felted with him leaving the country again and to see his gambien correspondent with the chance of him having a good time there. I would literally be MATI.


----------



## The Ancestor (May 10, 2022)

FIVE STAR DAYS!!’ I ONLY EAT THE FINEST BERRIES THE TRIBES CAN OFFER!


----------



## Butwhythough (May 10, 2022)

I so hope he goes, I would be so happy if they called him white devil and it was caught on camera.


----------



## Wash away the rain (May 10, 2022)

Ralph would never go to gods country of Gambia he’s a broke dick fag who can’t even open a pickle jar let alone travel to beautiful Gambia bet he wouldn’t even make it out of the airport before they tell him to go home.


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (May 10, 2022)

The only way he will go is if it’s a last-minute, impulsive decision with zero planning. Maybe if he can talk a side-bitch to go with him. Which won’t work for him because he will probably need several vaccines to enter The Gambia.


----------



## MoeChotto (May 10, 2022)

I dunno, even if Ralph had the courage to go to the Gambia, they wouldn't even let him into the country. What's the point of even wondering?


----------



## Insanely Retarded (May 10, 2022)

He cannot be stopped said:


> Ralph didn't actually decide to go to Portugal for real until a superchatter told him he could circumvent sex tourism laws by claiming to travel to a different country for other reasons, such as to 'own' someone online. Owning Andy by itself wasn't enough to push him past the point of going.
> Likewise unless there is another external reason probably related to one of his many vices, he won't actually go to the Gambia.
> 
> However, if for whatever reason he does go there after all, he is all but guaranteed to get into trouble with the locals. If he can't go a few days in Portugal without getting his shit kicked in, then he's bound to provoke the Gambians or Senegalese as well.


If that's the case I'm sure Gambia would be even more interesting for him than Portugal since he's less likely to get in trouble for it, and we know jcaesar loves dark meat.
Plus, every single Gambian I've ever seen sells drugs, so an entire country of these people would be Ralph's dream. 

But Ralph is too much of a bitch to go to a country where he could probably get away with whatever he wanted as long as pays enough money.


----------



## HatredOfScissors (May 10, 2022)

God I hope ralph doesn't go on this trip. That would own me and everyone else on this forum so hard, i'm literally shaking and crying right now. RALPH PLEASE DONT GO!!!!!!!


----------



## Angry Shoes (May 10, 2022)

There is absolutely no chance this happens. Which is a shame.


----------



## Santa Fe Swag (May 10, 2022)

Considering he has a notable record of fucking black hookers I think I aleady know why he wants to go.


----------



## Dead Wife (May 10, 2022)

Hog’s Holidays to Hambia



Sorry.


----------



## Motherf*cker (May 10, 2022)

I'm  going with the boring option that he's not going because I've been to Africa.

There is lots of paperwork, visas and shots (not just COVID) yellow fever and Malaria pills that you have to start a course before you leave, then have to take every day during and then afterwards.

Very dangerous. I was with a travel company but at times we had guards and I never left the car bubble.

The Flight with come in from Nairobi Kenya, and then he will have to come up with a way to get from Kenya to The Gambia and that's not going to be cheap. EDIT: Disregard this, there are direct flights to Dakar

It's hella hot, I'm a ghostly Canadian and I don't do heat well but there were days that were 110C the end of February to the beginning of March and I have never felt anything like it.

.


----------



## GunnlaugurSassoon (May 10, 2022)

> Vaccines?



Ralph refused to get vaccinated to see his dying mother in hospital. Will Ralph get the mandatory vaccinations required to go on a vacation?


----------



## SevenEightNine (May 10, 2022)

There are no vaccines required for US citizens intending to enter The Gambia.  Per the Department of State. 

"None required...but see Health Section"


----------



## break these cuffs (May 10, 2022)

lol, Gunt is way too scared of black people to go to Africa. He drives all the way to DC just to buy weed despite living in Niggertown, USA. He might love their culture and want to watch them fuck women who would not deign to spit on him, but he knows he's outclassed by the lowest bitchmade snitch on the block.


----------



## I'mma real anime gurl (May 10, 2022)

Man, I hope Ralph would never go to Gambia. Gambia is a place that Mister Metokur is from and he always long to be back home to Gambia. Ralph must have decency and not go to Gambia to harass a dying Gambian man.


----------



## DumbDude42 (May 10, 2022)

He cannot be stopped said:


> Ralph didn't actually decide to go to Portugal for real until a superchatter told him he could circumvent sex tourism laws by claiming to travel to a different country for other reasons, such as to 'own' someone online. Owning Andy by itself wasn't enough to push him past the point of going.
> Likewise unless there is another external reason probably related to one of his many vices, he won't actually go to the Gambia.
> 
> However, if for whatever reason he does go there after all, he is all but guaranteed to get into trouble with the locals. If he can't go a few days in Portugal without getting his shit kicked in, then he's bound to provoke the Gambians or Senegalese as well.


someone should inform him that africa is home to a rich tradition of whisky production. highest quality liquor at very affordable prices, surely an aficionado of fine spirits like mr. ralph would not ignore an opportunity to indulge in some of the worlds greatest distilled beverages!


----------



## Motherf*cker (May 10, 2022)

Sevenatenine said:


> There are no vaccines required for US citizens intending to enter The Gambia.  Per the Department of State.
> 
> "None required...but see Health Section"


Ralph will have be up to date with his MMR, flu, Polio, Hep A & B and DPT shots, and then he'll need a Yellowfever shot and a round of Malaria pills which start before you leave and after you get back.


----------



## malleusmaleficarum (May 10, 2022)

man im jealous. ive always wanted to go to the gambia!


----------



## Telemeter (May 10, 2022)

Ralph is not going to Africa, ever, he's too poor to afford the ticket and too bitch made to pull the trigger on it.


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (May 10, 2022)

Freya said:


> How boring are you people to care this much about ralph


Who are you to judge?
Bitch, you joined a private Facebook support group for moms of dead anencephalic babies so you could steal the pics of their deformed dead babies and post them in the tard baby general thread. Thank you for your service.


----------



## Skitarii (May 10, 2022)

Add an option for the Ralphamale buck breaking all those Senegalese femboys


----------



## Harry Angel (May 10, 2022)

I don't understand the popularity of "ritual" option. What respectable deity (even in Africa) would accept this pile of worthless lard as an offering?


----------



## Weird Ages (May 10, 2022)

Harry Angel said:


> I don't understand the popularity of "sacrifice" option. What respectable deity (even in Africa) would accept this pile of worthless lard as an offering?


It's the closest one to "butchered by the locals", which is the second most likely outcome if he actually goes. More realistically he'd die of a heat stroke before any of the options can happen.


----------



## Badungus Kabungus (May 10, 2022)

He's gonna get eaten by cannibals there. They call human flesh "long pig" although in Ralph's case it will be just "pig."


----------



## Dick Pooman (May 10, 2022)

"Abducted by Islamic militants" is probably the funniest outcome in my opinion


----------



## Product Placement (May 10, 2022)

Bet he won't get his travel vaccines before hand if he does do this, let alone take Malaria tablets


----------



## break these cuffs (May 10, 2022)

Telemeter said:


> *Ralph is not going to Africa, ever, he's too poor to afford the ticket *and too bitch made to pull the trigger on it.


More lies from the broke dick farms. Meigh just took out another credit card, so the Ralph Family is sitting pretty. Stay mad.


----------



## MeltyTW (May 10, 2022)

African jail is the funniest imo because he'll 100 percent deserve but he and his fans will holler anyway, that and they have less standards so we can pay then to alog him on cam


----------



## SaidNoOneEver (May 10, 2022)

Not a chance.


----------



## Sammich (May 10, 2022)

Motherf*cker said:


> It's hella hot, I'm a ghostly Canadian and I don't do heat well but there were days that were 110C the end of February to the beginning of March and I have never felt anything like it.


motherfucker, WHAT?  110c?  I think you meant f.  hehe. 


Ethan Ralph is a cowardly bitch, of course he won't' go to africa.  He wants to be a nigger, but real niggers will fucking wreck his shit worse than those child prostitutes' did in portugal.


----------



## SevenEightNine (May 10, 2022)

Harry Angel said:


> I don't understand the popularity of "ritual" option. What respectable deity (even in Africa) would accept this pile of worthless lard as an offering?


I was thinking more of an "exorcise the demon" type ritual.


----------



## Tumbo (May 10, 2022)

TB ark when


----------



## LadiosSopp (May 10, 2022)

Trying not to get too TMI here, but I've been to a territory in Africa before - one of the more touristy ones, but for my job at the time.

Considering he actually goes, Ralph is gonna have a tough time not being accosted by street vendors and randos looking to fleece him for his money, and he's gonna have a great old time if he drinks anything with the local water in it.  That's not even taking into account how he loves to run his fat mouth.

In short, this will most likely be worse than Portugal, and I'm really hoping he does end up going.


----------



## Monkey Type-I.N.G (May 10, 2022)

Ethan Ralph loves mahogany sun gods


----------



## Hex Cat (May 10, 2022)

If Ralph went to Africa it would revitalize his career and he would be out performing the Kino Casino every night and everyone would love him again. It's a good thing that's he's too broke to go otherwise he'd own us all good.


----------



## Rome's rightful successor (May 10, 2022)

Heia! Heia Shartfari!


----------



## Hamdulilah (May 10, 2022)

Ethan Ralph is way too much of a bitch to go. And you know what they do to bitches in the Gambia and the Africa.


----------



## Edilg (May 10, 2022)

RALPH! WE ALL KNOW YOU WON'T GO YOU PUSSY BITCH! YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO TRAVEL ABROAD AFTER PORTUGAL, BITCH! JUST STAY IN AMERICA LIKE THE REST OF US LOSER ALOGS!


----------



## Earth Rocker (May 10, 2022)

Can somebody photoshop ralph onto this. I had to reformat so I don't have PS yet


----------



## GL09 (May 10, 2022)

Next destination of Killstream World Tour baby! Let's fucking go!




> The most common threats in The Gambia are a petty street crime such as pickpocketing, *bag snatching*, and theft. It is most commonly performed in crowded market areas, public transport, taxis, and isolated beaches.


Maybe leave the purse at home this time though, just to be safe.


----------



## Blasterisk (May 10, 2022)

I vote options #2 and #4 combined, that he is killed and eaten as bushmeat. Ew! You could catch a serious disease like that!


----------



## LemonParty (May 10, 2022)

I hope you read this Ralph! We all know you don't have the balls to go to Gambia. Our leader Josh Moon can't even afford to go to Africa and it's a dream of his. So I've been researching Gambia to find flaws so I won't be seething with jealousy if you dab on us by going there.

     So apparently Gambia is a major child sex tourism destination.
-"Many young people turn to the sex trade due to poverty."
-"Child prostitution is particularly prevalent around the Tourist Development Area, as well as in Kololi, Senegambia and Pipeline."
wiki article








edit: image


----------



## NahtzeeSmurf (May 10, 2022)

The best fanfiction outcome I can come up with is Ralph goes, gets kidnapped by Gambian rebels who actually saw the Killstream and think he's the right hand man of the Leader of the HuWhite Race, and Nick Fuentes wakes up to a pig hoof with a ransom note attached to it.

Anyone is welcome to write part two.



LemonParty said:


> I hope you read this Ralph! We all know you  don't have the balls to go to Gambia. Our leader Josh Moon can't even afford to go to Africa and it's a dream of his.
> 
> I've been reading a lot about Gambia to find flaws about it so I won't be seething with jealousy in the event you do dab on us by going there. So apparently Gambia is a major child sex tourism destination.
> 
> ...


It's not like Ralph's ever gotten his shit kicked in by an underage hooker's Portuguese pimp.  That never happened.


----------



## Harlan Wick (May 10, 2022)

Our globetrotting Gunt isn't going to The Gambia. Sure he can get all the booze he wants but if he has any illegal drugs in his possession that carries either 15 years in jail or $250,000 USD in fines. It is also not uncommon for foreigners facing 10 years in jail for recreational amounts of pot. If Gunt is reading this pay fucking attention to this one, causing a public nuisance is a crime and carries a fine of $5000 USD and/or a 5 year prison term. 

Source


----------



## The King (May 10, 2022)

Lions mistake him for a warthog and eat him


----------



## Gooberman (May 10, 2022)

Niggers gotta eat. If that means dissecting a sex pest piggy with the mind and enthusiasm of a 10 year old boy, so be it. They'd be fed for weeks anyway.


----------



## Motherf*cker (May 10, 2022)

Badungus Kabungus said:


> He's gonna get eaten by cannibals there. They call human flesh "long pig" although in Ralph's case it will be just "pig."


It will be the most long pig that they've had in years, it'll be a feast that will feed a village.


----------



## zyclonPD (May 10, 2022)

Ralph is too much of a PUSSY to go to Africa. I hear they don't even acknowledge the word nigger there as a pejorative and you can scream it at them and they just smile. Absolutely horrible. Ralph don't go to this place that allows you to go full RALPHAMALE. I already know you wont because you are to SCARED to but don't do it buddy.


----------



## FFinfo (May 10, 2022)

Far Queue said:


> He'd probably keel over from the heat before anything else gets him. Gambia runs about 90 degree highs year round (and can push over 100 most months of the year) with at least a 50% relative humidity, which creeps up above 80% during during the summer months during the rainy season. He won't even be able to go outside in that weather to get his ass beat by all the muzzies who won't put up with his Christ is King nonsense.
> 
> He should go to Swaziland (or whatever the fuck they're calling themselves these days) which has the highest prevalence of AIDS (and a pretty high rate of tuberculosis as well) on the planet. Even if he doesn't get beat to death for trying to solicit sex from an underage prostitute, he'll definitely get HIV. Someone just needs to tell him that a third of the population in the country is 14 years old or younger and he'll be on the first plane there.


Ralph getting HIV after the shit he said to Metokur sounds like a bad soap opera, so it’d probably happen.


----------



## Miller (May 10, 2022)

If When Ralph gets HIV from one of the "young" prostitutes from Gambia, will he give the _gift_ to his horse bride?


----------



## Jimmy Olsen (May 10, 2022)

Sending our finest I see. Any native village he goes to 'help' will be stuck babysitting his ass to keep him from getting eaten by wildlife or killed by bands of roaming criminals. Tribal tardwranglers, if you will.


----------



## The King (May 10, 2022)

Ralph isn't going alone, Dalton Clodfelter is going with him.


----------



## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 10, 2022)

The King said:


> Ralph isn't going alone, Dalton Clodfelter is going with him.


Sick brah that'd be like totally epic man haha for real! Fuckin sick!


----------



## Freya (May 10, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> Who are you to judge?
> Bitch, you joined a private Facebook support group for moms of dead anencephalic babies so you could steal the pics of their deformed dead babies and post them in the tard baby general thread. Thank you for your service.


dead babies are hilarious


----------



## DogZero (May 10, 2022)

Voted that he won't go, since its the most likely. But if he does end up going the most likely outcome is he gets sick and is bedridden for awhile. 

The African continent is not merciful to non Africans, even with modern medicine. Its why the interior didn't get colonized till the late 1800s and even then all the explorers got sick in some form and many died. 

When you travel between continents, even ones that aren't Africa its common to get a little sick for a bit due to the different biosphere. It is the true cause of what many call "jet lag" when they travel to Europe for example.


----------



## Fannyscum (May 10, 2022)

"Purse stolen by jungle bunnies" should have been an option but he's not going.


----------



## Just Another Kiwi (May 10, 2022)

The Kino Casino joked about raising money to fund the rage pig's trip on tonight's episode, and they've already raised thousands.  I wonder if they'll actually give it?  Epic lols either way.


----------



## Alex Krycek (May 10, 2022)

DogZero said:


> Voted that he won't go, since its the most likely. But if he does end up going the most likely outcome is he gets sick and is bedridden for awhile.
> 
> The African continent is not merciful to non Africans, even with modern medicine. Its why the interior didn't get colonized till the late 1800s and even then all the explorers got sick in some form and many died.
> 
> When you travel between continents, even ones that aren't Africa its common to get a little sick for a bit due to the different biosphere. It is the true cause of what many call "jet lag" when they travel to Europe for example.


If he goes he really should reverse his opinion on vaccines. 

A few years ago I went to Viet Nam with some friends and an ex who had family there. Before I left I got a few vaccines for local stuff. A friend of mine didn’t and got Dengue Fever the second day we were there and pretty much spent the entire trip in a shitty hospital or his hotel room. By the time he recovered it was time for us to go back home. 

I’ve never been to Africa. But I know people who have, you can’t give blood for a while after visiting from what I understand because there’s some risk you’re tainted with Malaria. I’m pretty sure that area is a hotbed for Ebola too but to be honest I know very little about The Gambia. Why he’s choosing that area specifically is puzzling. Cameroon and Nigeria are nicer countries, supposedly the food in Madagascar is really good. Ethiopia has a culture that’s ancient and vibrant (there’s also a lot to do), I’m told the people of Malawi are really nice, if you wanna seem like a badass go to the Democratic Republic of Kongo and hang out in the jungle but he chose The Gambia. A country I doubt he could even find on a map unless it labeled. I’m puzzled by this.


----------



## Fetish Roulette (May 10, 2022)

If Ralph goes to Gambia, he's going to get his ass beat. Hell, he couldn't handle Portugal.


----------



## John Andrews Stan (May 10, 2022)

Research Purposes Mostly said:


> There is a 0% chance he goes to Africa and that should be a poll option.
> Even if he's *able* to go, there is no fucking way he has the money or the balls to fly to fucking Africa.


He also lacks the connections and executive function required to contract a security detail and driver for the trip (not to mention his broke ass can’t afford them). Africa isn’t Europe, even if the outer _arrondissements_ make it feel otherwise at times. You need security and you need a security-cleared driver with a security-vetted vehicle to get you around.

For this reason, I ardently hope he harasses Meigh into figuring out all these logistics. Bitch would definitely get his ass killed, and we’d never know for sure if it was intentional or not.

I’d also really love to see him mouth off to a border guard or any of the other lowlifes who would try to shake him down and wouldn’t put up with his rage pigging. Chimp out around them and you’re dead. Life is cheap and easily discarded there. Under no circumstances could Ethan Ralph handle Africans in Africa.


----------



## ComeoutandJULAY (May 10, 2022)

Sounds to me like Ralph left his brains down in Africa.


----------



## Jack Awful (May 11, 2022)

John Andrews Stan said:


> He also lacks the connections and executive function required to contract a security detail and driver for the trip (not to mention his broke ass can’t afford them). Africa isn’t Europe, even if the outer _arrondissements_ make it feel otherwise at times. You need security and you need a security-cleared driver with a security-vetted vehicle to get you around.
> 
> For this reason, I ardently hope he harasses Meigh into figuring out all these logistics. Bitch would definitely get his ass killed, and we’d never know for sure if it was intentional or not.
> 
> I’d also really love to see him mouth off to a border guard or any of the other lowlifes who would try to shake him down and wouldn’t put up with his rage pigging. Chimp out around them and you’re dead. Life is cheap and easily discarded there. Under no circumstances could Ethan Ralph handle Africans in Africa.


Ralph's 100% too beta to go without security like a true alpha. If he had balls he'd go do a report on Somalia. A scoop like that would catapult the Killstream into legend status and felt Josh Moon. Good thing Ralph is a coward.


----------



## Tiger Jack (May 11, 2022)

He lasted less than three days outside of his wigger habitat before his behaviour got him sent to the hospital, and that was in a civilised country.
If Ralph ever so much as set foot in a place outside of the first world we would legit never hear from him again.


----------



## John Andrews Stan (May 11, 2022)

Jack Awful said:


> Ralph 100% too beta to go without security like a true alpha. If he had balls he'd go do a report on Somalia.


Fuck Somalia. A real nigga would show up in Zimbabwe and teach those coons the meaning of white power. Too bad Ralph’s a gigantic pussy and would never have the balls to shart on Mugabe’s grave while streaming.


----------



## FFinfo (May 11, 2022)

> The minimum sentence for those found in possession of drugs (over 250g) is a very large fine or up to 15 years in prison in default. Recent cases have included foreigners, carrying a minimal amount of cannabis, sentenced to ten years in prison. *Cases of entrapment by Gambian authorities are not uncommon.*


He's not going.


----------



## Dead Wife (May 11, 2022)

Ralph could be like a real life Louis Theroux and go interview some Somalian pirates or something. He _is the media, _after all. Once they see his new man purse and paw-paw’s ring they'll give him the respect he deserves and treat him like a boss, brown cigars all round!


----------



## AltisticRight (May 11, 2022)

SaidNoOneEver said:


> Not a chance.
> 
> View attachment 3269191


But...


----------



## SaidNoOneEver (May 11, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> But...
> View attachment 3270692


I wasn't going to say anything but that gambling ban was reversed too.


----------



## John Andrews Stan (May 11, 2022)

SaidNoOneEver said:


> I wasn't going to say anything but that gambling ban was reversed too.


Oh shit, Gambian Parcheesi is the one game Ralph’s always wanted to bet on but the faggot sportsbook apps can’t get their shit together for him on this one basic thing. Trip’s definitely a go.


----------



## Fareal (May 11, 2022)

Null, Jim, Warski, the Vickers, the entire Farms and every ayyylaaaawg in existence would be absolutely BTFO'ed and pwnt and felted by Ralph travelling to the DRC. We would all have to rescind all criticism of him in perpetuity, especially if he was to travel to areas which have been badly affected by civil war and the 2018-2020 ebola outbreak. This would be the hallmark of a WINNER and also a tall and slim man with a large penis. If he would also illegally cross the border into Rwanda that would be extremely cozy. I am absolutely wetting my pants in sexual excitement just thinking about a man who would do such a thing armed only with a purse.


----------



## Jumbo Gay Threat (May 11, 2022)

If Ralph did end up going to Africa, he would probably die from shock at the fact that African war lords hate white people. (Assuming he doesn’t die from disease)


----------



## Weird Ages (May 11, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> But...
> View attachment 3270692


The beach is even called Ko-loli, Meigh would love it there.


----------



## UCantCCPMe (May 11, 2022)

I like to imagine Ralph in The Gambia taking place in some Ace Ventura-esque style ritualistic fight, squealing in pain from having a tiny spear in each leg.


----------



## Expendable Zaku (May 12, 2022)

I went with prison. Gambian prison.


----------



## The Sh (May 12, 2022)

Where's the "forced conversion to Islam" option?


----------



## AMHOLIO (May 12, 2022)

Tiger Jack said:


> If Ralph ever so much as set foot in a place outside of the first world we would legit never hear from him again


This is my genuine concern.  Going out by pissing off some locals or being too stupid to not get killed by criminals is funny, but stops content on this board forever.  I rather have him be in prison for doing something retarded in the states, that way he can be bored behind bars and become even more irrelevant during his time there, two better punishments for him and still give a chance of him living afterwards he doesn't get into a deadly fight.


----------



## Pill Cosby (May 12, 2022)

Ralph will end up fucking an HIV infected prostitute and he will go back to the states untested fucking Meigh, prostitutes and those willing or unwilling - spreading the love.


----------



## Wodanaz (May 12, 2022)

"shart of darkness" sorry for this low quality post, but I fucking died from this


----------



## Henry Wentworth Akeley (May 12, 2022)

I remember when I flew into Accra (not in Gambia, but not too far) there was a billboard outside the airport with three smiling people and one sad man that read "ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD HAS HIV/AIDS." On the teeny tiny unreal chance Ralph actually does go, HIV/AIDS is a very genuine concern because we know he likes gross black hookers. On top of that, he'd do well to take malaria pills if he does go and some of the common side effects include shitting yourself and horrible vivid nightmares.


----------



## Valkorion (May 12, 2022)

My brother was once sent on a business trip to Senegal, the country that envelops The Gambia.

Right off the bat, he made sure he had all the necessary vaccinations as well as malaria prophylaxis. He knew (unlike his boss, who thought no vaccinations were needed) that he would have to exercise extreme caution, especially when it came to food. He only drank bottled water that was sure to come from a trusted source, and when he had a dinner at a fancy restaurant one night, he ordered his steak to be well-done to the point of it being completely dry, sacrificing taste for safety, and he had the bottle of beer he ordered opened before his eyes to make sure it could be trusted. He also noticed that the meat sold in the street markets of Dakar was _black _- not because it came from a strange source, but because it was covered in flies. Also, the sellers put seafood out in the open. 

The guy he traveled with was a Frenchman, and he was not as cautious as my brother. He, despite my brother warning him not to do it, ate something strange, I don't remember what it was, but it made him so sick that my brother was worried about him buying the farm. When they flew back, my brother had to practically carry him to the plane, and the guy finally got the care he needed when they were back in Europe.


----------



## Grand Wizard Wakka (May 12, 2022)

Valkorion said:


> Right off the bat, he made sure he had all the necessary vaccinations as well as malaria prophylaxis.


Baked, Gunt, and Nick were making fun of and condemning Metokur for having even the measles vaccine. Apparently the kang himself, Christ, will protect Ralph from maleria. Being a Groyper is like being a Lv3 Paladin.



Valkorion said:


> ate something strange


Ralph eats poop.


----------



## Valkorion (May 12, 2022)

Grand Wizard Wakka said:


> Baked, Gunt, and Nick were making fun of and condemning Metokur for having even the measles vaccine. Apparently the kang himself, Christ, will protect Ralph from maleria. Being a Groyper is like being a Lv3 Paladin.


I don't think he will go there, but if he does go to Gambia, Gunt is in for a bad time.



Grand Wizard Wakka said:


> Ralph eats poop.


Yikes.


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (May 12, 2022)

If Ralph were to go to Africa, this would be the ultimate result:


----------



## The Littlest Shitlord (May 13, 2022)

Henry Wentworth Akeley said:


> I remember when I flew into Accra (not in Gambia, but not too far) there was a billboard outside the airport with three smiling people and one sad man that read "ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD HAS HIV/AIDS." On the teeny tiny unreal chance Ralph actually does go, HIV/AIDS is a very genuine concern because we know he likes gross black hookers. On top of that, he'd do well to take malaria pills if he does go and some of the common side effects include shitting yourself and horrible vivid nightmares.


He doesn't even wear a seatbelt, good luck getting him to take malaria pills. Unless maybe you can get high off them? If he does, though, the nightmares and shitting himself aren't going to be drawbacks, since he has both of those problems anyway.


----------

