# IM BAAAAAAAAACK!!: Thread for those who have been absent



## Judge Holden (Oct 2, 2013)

As I am sure you are all painfully aware, I have been unable to grace the forum with my presence, my beautiful wit, my endearing charm, and my tendancy to go all red caps with unfunny hyperbolic rage over pointless bullshit. Now you may all stop worrying, the world has not ended, the judge has indeed returned!... ok ill get to the point.

For the past few weeks I have been unable to get online due to moving into a new student house and broadband issues, and on my return I am filled with questions.... what has chris been doing? will Marvin ever escape from the mirror? will Jcrowleys' seven testicles ever be found? and I am sure that others who have had prolonged absences from the forums are also filled with these questions and more. Thus I decided that to mark my momentous return I should create a thread that future returning christorians may post to when they return from the chris-less void and be given updates as to what they have missed while in the dark, lonely world of IRL

...so basically what have I missed over the past 2 weeks?


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## Watcher (Oct 2, 2013)

Facebook posts mostly. He called out Megan a few days back. Oh and he vandalized a Walmart but I think that was a while ago.

Really Chris's life the last two weeks could probably be summed up with "meh"


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## José Mourinho (Oct 2, 2013)

jcrowley is back on the forum before being banned.


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## TL 611 (Oct 5, 2013)

Hey guys, I'm back. Tell me interesting things.


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## Pikonic (Oct 5, 2013)

Melchett said:
			
		

> Hey guys, I'm back. Tell me interesting things.


MMEEGGAANN!!!!


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## CatParty (Oct 5, 2013)

Maybe a timeline thread of the fb posts would be more helpful than a "catching up" thread. Or the major fb updates get move to their own subforum in order of their posting. Just because it might be easier for someone to catch up as opposed to asking "what did I miss" and then having someone respond with a huge post.


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## José Mourinho (Oct 5, 2013)

Looks like I have to blame myself for not updating the Da Update on the CWCki.


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## PrimeCutDiggityDog (Oct 12, 2013)

I'M BACK BABEH


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## Lady Houligan (Oct 27, 2013)

Hey darlings! I'm home from delivering my son into the world.






His name is Benjamin and he's my baby bear and I love him so already.


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## brooklynbailiff (Oct 27, 2013)

Congratulations.


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## applecat (Oct 27, 2013)

I mean, congrats and all, but I really think the baby should have been named Clyde Cash.


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## José Mourinho (Oct 27, 2013)

Congrats!


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## Null (Oct 27, 2013)




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## cypocraphy (Oct 28, 2013)

You will raise him to hate Chris more than anything, right?


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## Night Terror (Oct 28, 2013)

I hope his first words are 'DIE CHRIS'


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## Lady Houligan (Oct 28, 2013)

Darky said:
			
		

> I hope his first words are 'DIE CHRIS'


I'll do my best but his father might object.



			
				bungholio said:
			
		

> You will raise him to hate Chris more than anything, right?


Um duh.



			
				applecat said:
			
		

> I mean, congrats and all, but I really think the baby should have been named Clyde Cash.


I didn't want to set him up for unfair expectations of guido-ness. Or master trolling.

Thanks to everyone who's given their congratulations too btw. We appreciate it.


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## Zim (Oct 29, 2013)

Congrats!

Once he gets old enough you can show him the Cwcki and say "Study this and do the complete opposite of this. For that is the key to happiness, money, and sweethearts."


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## Dork Of Ages (Oct 29, 2013)

And if he ever acts like Chris, punish him with bare-assed beatings, cold showers and other bizarre scenarios


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## TastyWoodenBadge (Nov 12, 2013)

Just returned from the hospital


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## Watcher (Nov 12, 2013)

TastyWB 2.0 said:
			
		

> Just returned from the hospital


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## José Mourinho (Nov 13, 2013)

TastyWB 2.0 said:
			
		

> Just returned from the hospital


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## Aiko Heiwa (Nov 17, 2013)

hi

i keep disappearing then reappearing

i'm back

for now...


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## LM 697 (Nov 17, 2013)

sweetums said:
			
		

> I'm back too! hay!



Hope you enjoy your stay here! We'll be waiting to meet you in the chat.


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## Mama Luigi (Nov 17, 2013)

Helllooooo, back after a week hiatus.


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## José Mourinho (Nov 18, 2013)

Mama Luigi said:
			
		

> Helllooooo, back after a week hiatus.



Great to see you back again! 

(Same to Aiko too)


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## Fishkill (Dec 14, 2013)

*cough*cough*


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## TL 611 (Dec 26, 2013)

okay, I may have been absent again for a while but this time I have a good excuse! I missed you guys, one day I will recall the strange series of events.


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## Zim (Dec 26, 2013)

Melchett said:
			
		

> okay, I may have been absent again for a while but this time I have a good excuse! I missed you guys, one day I will recall the strange series of events.



I hope whatever happened was an adventure of epic proportions. Good to see you back!


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## Aiko Heiwa (Feb 26, 2014)

I have returned!

(I can't permanently abandon this place, I love you all so much  <3)


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## José Mourinho (Feb 26, 2014)

Aiko Heiwa said:
			
		

> I have returned!
> 
> (I can't permanently abandon this place, I love you all so much  <3)



Great to see you back! :3


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## Dark Mirror Hole (Mar 1, 2014)

Hi everyone! It's been about more than a month since I posted here. Looks like nothing much has happened with Chris (other than some boring time-wasting videos) while a shit load of spergs seemed to have been bann!


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## José Mourinho (Mar 3, 2014)

Dark Mirror Hole said:
			
		

> Hi everyone! It's been about more than a month since I posted here. Looks like nothing much has happened with Chris (other than some boring time-wasting videos) while a shit load of spergs seemed to have been bann!



Welcome back!


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## Fibonacci (Mar 7, 2014)

I moved to Corpus Christi, TX this week. UPS wanted to charge me $600 to ship my PC and monitor here; therefore, I don't have a computer anymore. So I'm going to become an anonymous lurker for awhile until I deploy.


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## Himawari (Jun 13, 2014)

*creeps*


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## Watcher (Jun 14, 2014)

Now i have a reason to actually use this thread...


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## fuzzypickles (Jun 15, 2014)

Hey guys. I know it's been a few months, so I just want to drop by and say hi.


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## José Mourinho (Jun 16, 2014)

Welcome back to all!


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jun 22, 2014)

I guess I'm back until I find something better to do.


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## LM 697 (Jun 22, 2014)

Heard you like to shove knives inside your boxers.


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## CatParty (Jun 22, 2014)

Does this mean you'll spend less time on your Ronnie Raygun account?


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jun 22, 2014)

fix my username said:


> Heard you like to shove knives inside your boxers.





CätPärty said:


> Does this mean you'll spend less time on your Ronnie Raygun account?


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## Ronald Gaygun (Jun 22, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:


> View attachment 2884


I HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY'RE DOING THIS! HALP!


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## LM 697 (Jun 22, 2014)

http://cwckiforums.com/threads/rest-in-pieces-michael-dirty-jew-snyder.1582/


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jun 22, 2014)

fix my username said:


> http://cwckiforums.com/threads/rest-in-pieces-michael-dirty-jew-snyder.1582/




Don't act like you weren't the mastermind behind that.


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## brooklynbailiff (Jun 23, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:


> I guess I'm back until I find something better to do.



The answer to a question nobody asked.


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jun 23, 2014)

brooklynbailiff said:


> The answer to a question nobody asked.




Can you like, not be a dick?


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## brooklynbailiff (Jun 23, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:


> Can you like, not be a dick?



Muh feelings.


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## LM 697 (Jun 23, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:


> Can you like, not be a dick?



Be polite.


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jun 23, 2014)

brooklynbailiff said:


> Muh feelings.





fix my username said:


> Be polite.


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## Gul Ducat (Jun 28, 2014)

*o*


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## applecat (Jun 28, 2014)

Gul Ducat said:


> *o*


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## Gul Ducat (Jun 28, 2014)

Applecat said:


> Meow!!!



DIDENT WE USE TO WORK HEAR TOGEHTER?


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## applecat (Jun 28, 2014)




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## Trombonista (Jun 29, 2014)

Got back from Israel on Tuesday, but my computer derped on Wednesday, so I'm announcing my return now.


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## Dork Of Ages (Jul 25, 2014)

trombonista said:


> Got back from Israel on Tuesday, but my computer derped on Wednesday, so I'm announcing my return now.



Did you by any chance meet a dumb american stoner tourist called Eli?

Oh wait I smoke too much ganja tobacco using bible pages and did not see your post date.


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## José Mourinho (Jul 25, 2014)

Back after a fortnight absence. :3


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## Foulmouth (Jul 25, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:


> Don't act like you weren't the mastermind behind that.


 
I'm a month late om saying it but fuck it, Ronald , Mastermind ???


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## ON 190 (Jul 25, 2014)

I was dead...

now I am not.


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## Venusaur (Aug 3, 2014)

I didn't really announce my departure, but due to a family crisis I had to travel overseas and had little internet acces. I dropped out of the last fan jam because of it and stuff. Anyway, I'm back now!


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## Sweet and Savoury (Aug 4, 2014)

trombonista said:


> Got back from Israel on Tuesday, but my computer derped on Wednesday, so I'm announcing my return now.



Didja bring me back a souvenir?


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## Trickie (Sep 25, 2014)

I've been gone for about a month now, but I'm back! Got to see what travelling across the US was like, too.

Was pretty shitty, to be honest. :/


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## Connor Bible (Oct 7, 2014)

Back after a week from the forums. Better than my average day.


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## PunchandJudy (Oct 22, 2014)

The Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again Show is sponsored by Dan's Shitbags, for you best fucked up needs.
And now back to Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again, on Cwc Channel 21.
"Garmfield, GTFO the forums"
"I can't Null, It's what I do" 
"OH GARMFIELD, YOU'RE GOING TO BE BANNED WITHIN 24 HOURS AGAIN!"

"I want some lasaga"

(Canned Laughter)


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## Dr. Meme (Oct 22, 2014)

PunchandJudy said:


> The Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again Show is sponsored by Dan's Shitbags, for you best fucked up needs.
> And now back to Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again, on Cwc Channel 21.
> "Garmfield, GTFO the forums"
> "I can't Null, It's what I do"
> ...


Autism.

Autism never changes.


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## exball (Oct 22, 2014)

PunchandJudy said:


> The Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again Show is sponsored by Dan's Shitbags, for you best fucked up needs.
> And now back to Garmfield is fucking sockpuppeting again, on Cwc Channel 21.
> "Garmfield, GTFO the forums"
> "I can't Null, It's what I do"
> ...


You aren't even the real Garmfield.


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## Vodka's My BFF (Oct 25, 2014)

What up, people? Hope everyone's been well. I've sold my soul to the corporate overlords and don't really have a whole lot of time to do much anymore. Been keeping up with OPL's antics through my bro and have been dying to get back here and check it out. Glad to see he's still as crazy as ever!


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## Aiko Heiwa (Dec 24, 2014)

Hello I am back from my vacation AKA i got bored as hell here for a while, so i decided to stop posting.

i will start posting again, mainly in the general forum and shit cause i don't really follow chris anymore. (i might still pop in to chris-rleated forums once in a while tho)


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## Saney (Dec 24, 2014)

Aiko Heiwa said:


> Hello I am back from my vacation AKA i got bored as hell here for a while, so i decided to stop posting.
> 
> i will start posting again, mainly in the general forum and shit cause i don't really follow chris anymore. (i might still pop in to chris-rleated forums once in a while tho)



Go straight to lolcow. You missed the biggest ever lol-shitstorm in CWCki history.


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## Captain Pronin (Apr 10, 2015)

After 3 months of ban lurking, I'm back.

Edit: Added in the secret truth about the Captian Pronin Revelation


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## Randall Fragg (Apr 10, 2015)

Captain Pronin said:


> After 3 months of lurking, I'm back.


Didn't you get banned?


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## Trombonista (Apr 11, 2015)

Randall Fragg said:


> Didn't you get banned?


He got better.


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## Null (Apr 11, 2015)

Randall Fragg said:


> Didn't you get banned?


Warning carry various weight to them, between 2 and 6 points.

At 10 points, you are temporarily banned until your points expire.

At 12 points, you are permanently banned, even if points expire.


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## Null (Apr 11, 2015)

DankMemes said:


> Why were you originally banned?


You have very limited reading comprehension.


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## Captain Pronin (Apr 11, 2015)

DankMemes said:


> Why were you originally banned?


Shitposting.


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## BOLDYSPICY! (Apr 11, 2015)

. . .that was fast.


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## KingofManga420 (Apr 11, 2015)

BOLDYSPICY! said:


> View attachment 22930
> . . .that was fast.


Not fast enough.


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## Sanic (Apr 11, 2015)

BOLDYSPICY! said:


> View attachment 22930
> . . .that was fast.



I still have no clue who the fuck that was, lol


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## Yaks (Apr 16, 2015)

Why do I keep coming back here?
I don't know. 
Ey.
Most of you won't remember me.


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## TL 611 (Apr 16, 2015)

^ HOLY FUCK ITS YAKS.

Your adorbz cat sigs used to be amazing


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## KingofManga420 (Apr 16, 2015)

trombonista said:


> He got better.




 
Lol


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## Yaks (Apr 16, 2015)

Melchett said:


> ^ HOLY FUCK ITS YAKS.
> 
> Your adorbz cat sigs used to be amazing



D'aww. <3
I do love me some cat gifs.
I think this avatar was for either Compy or Brooks. I forget whose favorite it was.


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## Saney (Apr 17, 2015)

Yaks said:


> Why do I keep coming back here?
> I don't know.
> Ey.
> Most of you won't remember me.



Glad you're not dead.
Also, adorable avatar.


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## Yaks (Apr 17, 2015)

Saney said:


> Glad you're not dead.
> Also, adorable avatar.


Thanks Saney. <3


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## Dr. Tremolo (Apr 19, 2015)

Is it awkward if I suddenly start posting again out of nowhere? It's like being a new user, but actually not.


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## House Of Reeves (Apr 22, 2015)

Finally online again since August. A short break from the forums turned into a long break, thanks to school.


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## OBAMATRON (Apr 29, 2015)

_shitposts from beyond the grave_


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## autism420 (Apr 29, 2015)

OBAMATRON said:


> _shitposts from beyond the grave_


You're alive.


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## Dilbertmann (May 6, 2015)

Ho man, look at all this fucking _dust.
_
Anyway, yes, I'm back. Why was I gone for so long? Lack of interest, and I'm going to be frank here - this forum just doesn't interest me anymore. I feel that with how I'm focusing on other endeavors (namely a new job and such), it's taking my time away to visit here more frequently and that, personally, Kiwi Farms isn't what it used to be. None of the posts I feel don't make me laugh out loud as much anymore, plus I kinda feel guilty for setting up the heatwave of autism that is the Enter sub-forum and as a result, it ended up bogging down my general perspective here. 

Will I still pop in once in a while? Oh yeah. Just don't count on me to appear every single fucking time.


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## BreannaChronicles (May 19, 2015)

I'm back as well. I use to go by the name Pad. I can't recall my password to my original kiwi farms account, and I deleted the email address which I could reset my password with. . Anyways I'm back now.


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## BreannaChronicles (May 19, 2015)

Good actually. I'm now going by the legal name of Breanna now though. It's alittle bit of a long story. I wish I had access to chat that would make it easier. How has everyone been?


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## dabluearmedbandit (May 25, 2015)

hey everybody, I've been gone for about a month (working out of town with no internet), what's been happening in CWCville and Deagle Nation? The last thing I saw was the latest trial and Jace is trapped in a biblecube. Also, how is everyone doing? Did I miss any good drama or sperg outs worth looking at? Thanks guys and gals.


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## Holdek (May 28, 2015)

BreannaChronicles said:


> I'm back as well. I use to go by the name Pad. I can't recall my password to my original kiwi farms account, and I deleted the email address which I could reset my password with. . Anyways I'm back now.


Were you A Feminine Pad?


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## Truck Rockfort (Jun 2, 2015)

Finally decided to come back after 3 or so months of just taking a break from this place and spent yesterday reading all the threads just to get caught up and what do I see? Threads about Tumblr's growing shoplifting and meth head communities, two morbidly obese white trash sisters that look like they belong in a Texas Chain Saw Massacre movie, Wu and the gamergate shit still hasn't ended, Sick Nick finally being throw in prison to rot and Chris is now actually becoming a real tranny. I'm glad the place hasn't lost it's autistic shine and the lolcow herd looks even more batshit insane as before.


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## DNJACK (Jul 9, 2015)

Holy mother of god. This thread have been dead for 2 months but I was given order necrofuck it, make it mine and spit the pus at anyone passing by.

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## DNJACK (Aug 16, 2015)

Ok i'm back.


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## CKO87 (Mar 5, 2016)

Making my first official visit to these forums(as opposed to lurking) in nearly a year.


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## CatParty (Mar 5, 2016)

DNJACK said:


> Ok i'm back.




Come back pls


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## yasscat (Mar 22, 2016)

I'm back.


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