# Did Ralph Absorb the Demons of Drakenlord?



## Retink (Jun 30, 2022)

So we all know Ralph became the vassal of the demons who formerly possessed Chris when he wore Chris's totem during Chris's arrest. 

Now watching the Metokur stream it looks like people are making a pilgrimage to the Hog House and that got me thinking, that didn't really happen with Chris but there was another cow that had that happen to them, and that was Drakenlord, and these pilgrimages to Ralph started right around the time Drakenlord's house was purchased and demolished. Did the spirits of that forsaken place decide to go to Ralph and now have given him those powers as well? 





Is Ralph becoming the nexus of cow and corn, and what cow's demons will he absorb next?


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## Doinker Marmalade (Jul 1, 2022)

No demons here, Drachenlord was the avatar of Vishnu, but now that he fell from grace and is in jail, Vishnu needed another hog to be his incarnation.


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## Skitarii (Jul 1, 2022)

Drachenlord is too fat and powerful for ralph

He should come back when he's mmm richer


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## Blue Miaplacidus (Jul 1, 2022)

OP said:
			
		

> that didn't really happen with Chris


What, it absolutely did happen, it still does happen. Faggots from reddit have been going there weekly to take selfies in front of the sonichu temple, even now with him in Jail.

Right before Chris slobbered on some barbussy and got arrested some nigger from /pol/ went there and laid out fanta and dollar bills trying to lure chris out of the house like E.T. and when that didn't work tried to serenade him by playing the flute from patti's grave.


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## SphinxItOver (Jul 1, 2022)

Chris + Drachenlord + DSP? Or, all things become real in Universe 1218. Ralph could not become the new Christian of this universe, since the prime is here. Therefore Ralph is Reldnahc Not Sew Naitsirhc. Goddess Blue Heart was being prescient and predicting the Anti-Chris? Is all the edits of Ralph as replacement Chris just fulfilling more of CWC goofy ass prophecies?


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## Iamthatis (Jul 1, 2022)

What if all of the lolcow spirits combining into the lord vessel that is Ethan Ralph is what the real merge is?


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## SphinxItOver (Jul 1, 2022)

Iamthatis said:


> What if all of the lolcow spirits combining into the lord vessel that is Ethan Ralph is what the real merge is?



Is it the coke or meth as the spice melange?


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 1, 2022)

No.  Ralph was given a rare blessing from both Nurgle and Slaanesh.  Normally, if a traitorous heretic wants to receive the blessings of more than one Chaos God, they'd have to go the Chaos Undivided route.  Ethan Ralph is a special case, however, and he achieved a level of dysgenics and degeneracy that impressed both Nurgle and Slaanesh so much that they decided to temporarily join forces to give Ralph a double blessing.  

I cannot begin to tell how how dangerous this is for the Imperium.  Ralph is a daemonhost with the power to spread both Nurgle's rot AND Slaanesh's extreme levels of degeneracy all over Holy Terra.  Prepare yourselves, warriors.  The battle of Jim's driveway will only be the beginning round of the most horrifying war that any of us have ever seen.  

Hope this information helps.


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## Retink (Jul 1, 2022)

Wait, I think I know the next soul to be consumed! Yaniv is a fat sack of shit and may be going to prison soon, and he'd always call the cops on people as well as call them to help him out of the bathtub. Ralph has been yelling for people to call the cops to arrest his enemies, could that be preparation for him to be imbued with Yaniv's cow powers?

The cops also visited him as they thought he committed troon surgery on himself. It is all coming to fruition! 



Iamthatis said:


> What if all of the lolcow spirits combining into the lord vessel that is Ethan Ralph is what the real merge is?


The real question is his gunt strong enough to hold such Highlander powers?


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## Kendall Motor Oil (Jul 1, 2022)

I wonder if there are is a copycat effect going on. Drakenlord had a different kind of "fan".



Spoiler: Though I am waiting for someone to send him this. NSFW






			https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2255801078382685.html
		



			https://www.aliexpress.com/item/2251832781705371.html


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## Tigrebloodman (Jul 1, 2022)

SphinxItOver said:


> Chris + Drachenlord + DSP? Or, all things become real in Universe 1218. Ralph could not become the new Christian of this universe, since the prime is here. Therefore Ralph is Reldnahc Not Sew Naitsirhc. Goddess Blue Heart was being prescient and predicting the Anti-Chris? Is all the edits of Ralph as replacement Chris just fulfilling more of CWC goofy ass prophecies?
> View attachment 3444980


The great gates of DSP are an opposing force to the lolcow pilgrims. That combination is nawt truuu.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 1, 2022)

Rogal Dorn said:


> No.  Ralph was given a rare blessing from both Nurgle and Slaanesh.  Normally, if a traitorous heretic wants to receive the blessings of more than one Chaos God, they'd have to go the Chaos Undivided route.  Ethan Ralph is a special case, however, and he achieved a level of dysgenics and degeneracy that impressed both Nurgle and Slaanesh so much that they decided to temporarily join forces to give Ralph a double blessing.
> 
> I cannot begin to tell how how dangerous this is for the Imperium.  Ralph is a daemonhost with the power to spread both Nurgle's rot AND Slaanesh's extreme levels of degeneracy all over Holy Terra.  Prepare yourselves, warriors.  The battle of Jim's driveway will only be the beginning round of the most horrifying war that any of us have ever seen.
> 
> Hope this information helps.


This explains the Bifurcated Gunt.
One half is Slaanesh, one half is Nurgle.


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## I am vomit (Jul 1, 2022)

Nah chris chan's curse just rubbed off on him. But there's nothing saying he isn't the avatar of lolcow curses.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Jul 1, 2022)

The Omni-Cow is going to be birthed in front of us.


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## SNEED.EXE (Jul 1, 2022)

Ralph's gunt is absorbing all the other lolcows.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 1, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> The Omni-Cow is going to be birthed in front of us.


I said it before but Ralph is almost like the Avatar of Chaos Undivided, the only thing divided about him is his Gunt.
He has the hygiene and cleanliness of Nurgle, especially now with his pozzed status
The degeneracy and sickening perverse lusts of Slaanesh with the shit eating thing, JCaesar187 and thirsting over Soph, and his arrogance and pride at being "Top of the Sektur"
The rage and hate of Khorne with his hollerin' and slobbering and screaming
And the never ending GayOps and schemes of Tzeentch with his doxing and false DMCA shit and plotting his revenge on people
Hell he even has Malal covered if you're Old School, I've rarely seen anyone as malicious and twisted as the Poz Pig when someone upsets him.
Add to that that fucking SCP looking Flesh Pendulum he carries about as his very own Mark of Cain, and I'm starting to wonder if our Gellar Fields are working, because Ralph is like a fucking Blob straight from the Eye of Terror, wheres the fucking Grey Knights when you need them?


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## Retink (Jul 1, 2022)

Procrastinhater said:


> The degeneracy and sickening perverse lusts of Slaanesh with the shit eating thing and thirsting over Soph


Don't forget the pride, as he's the best in the sector from the top on down!


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## ScamL Likely (Jul 1, 2022)

Amateur demonology seems to be this sekturrr's fastest growing occupation.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 1, 2022)

ScamL Likely said:


> Amateur demonology seems to be this sekturrr's fastest growing occupation.


It's an honest living.


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## Amazing Criminal (Jul 1, 2022)

The only "demons" Ralph absorbed came from Ronnie's family jewels.


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## ManBearHog (Jul 1, 2022)

Nope, he’s just an obese, entitled, unrepentant cunt with a lazy fat brain and a penchant for fucking kids.


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## Gondola Enjoyer (Jul 1, 2022)

Procrastinhater said:


> I said it before but Ralph is almost like the Avatar of Chaos Undivided, the only thing Divided about him is his Gunt.
> He has the hygiene and cleanliness of Nurgle, especially now with his pozzed status
> The degeneracy and sickening perverse lusts of Slaanesh with the shit eating thing, JCaesar187 and thirsting over Soph, and his arrogance and pride at being "Top of the Sektur"
> The rage and hate of Khorne with his Hollerin' and slobbering and screaming
> ...


The Great Unclean One is already so close to Ralph, that someone just needs to paint one, add a kid diddler hat and a purse, and you've got a centerpiece for your Death Guard offshoot, the Gunt Guard.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 1, 2022)

Gondola Enjoyer said:


> The Great Unclean One is already so close to Ralph, that someone just needs to paint one, add a kid diddler hat and a purse, and you've got a centerpiece for your Death Guard offshoot, the Gunt Guard.


Lmao holy fucking shit, with a bit of Green Stuff or just modeling clay to make his signature black and yellow top, his hat and purse for it to wear and some creative painting to get that Gunt texture that might work.
Another Banger for the Killstream


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## Retink (Jul 1, 2022)

ScamL Likely said:


> Amateur demonology seems to be this sekturrr's fastest growing occupation.


Ralph does keep going to Europe, could he be drawn to the grave of Draken's house?

What if he ends up moving out there instead of Mexico. Just imagine being one of the villagers, you hear the old cursed plot has been sold, and you hesitantly go to meet your new neighbors. You knock on the door and it swings open to reveal the gunt and his horse bride. "What do you want bitch!? Do I look 5' 1" to you!?" he screams with putrid whiskey breath and swinging gunt, to your horror as you realize that no matter your efforts to banish the prior demons a new one that is equally as fat but far more retarded has taken its place. Later that night the villagers burn the entire village down.

Maybe I should learn necromancy, with all of these evil spirits around who knows, maybe it'll work.


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 1, 2022)

Gondola Enjoyer said:


> The Great Unclean One is already so close to Ralph, that someone just needs to paint one, add a kid diddler hat and a purse, and you've got a centerpiece for your Death Guard offshoot, the Gunt Guard.





Procrastinhater said:


> Lmao holy fucking shit, with a bit of Green Stuff or just modeling clay to make his signature black and yellow top, his hat and purse for it to wear and some creative painting to get that Gunt texture that might work.
> Another Banger for the Killstream



One of you needs to actually do this.  I'm not kidding.  A Ralph-themed Gunt Guard army would be the most epic troll in the history of The Farms.


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## Cucktry Roads (Jul 1, 2022)

On that day, Ralph became Gunt-Chan


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 1, 2022)

I've thought about this further, and.....  what if we painted a Gunt Guard kill team?  We'd only need five or six models for the job, and we could easily cover all the major players:

1) Ralph
2) Pantsu
3) Reroll Rozy
4) Dick Masterson
5) Corinne
6) Bibble

Does anyone want to do this?  If money is a problem, I'm sure either Vickers or Nick Rekieta would happily fund this project.  This doesn't count as a "trolling plan" by the way, jannies.  We are just painting models and posting pictures online.  There is no IRL aspect of this gig.


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## Daily Affirmation (Jul 1, 2022)

I can't think of a more likely method of creating a demon than a community of thousands taunting an already evil rage pig to the point of heart stoppage. It's like when Freddie Kruger's nun mom got gang raped by mental patients, thereby conceiving him.


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## Dear Leader Pol Pot (Jul 1, 2022)

ralph is trying to ascend to daemon prince. he is right now on that precipice of becoming a daemon prince or becoming a chaos spa..... you know what i mean. the next few months are gonna be interesting.


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## Skitarii (Jul 1, 2022)

Rogal Dorn said:


> No.  Ralph was given a rare blessing from both Nurgle and Slaanesh.  Normally, if a traitorous heretic wants to receive the blessings of more than one Chaos God, they'd have to go the Chaos Undivided route.  Ethan Ralph is a special case, however, and he achieved a level of dysgenics and degeneracy that impressed both Nurgle and Slaanesh so much that they decided to temporarily join forces to give Ralph a double blessing.
> 
> I cannot begin to tell how how dangerous this is for the Imperium.  Ralph is a daemonhost with the power to spread both Nurgle's rot AND Slaanesh's extreme levels of degeneracy all over Holy Terra.  Prepare yourselves, warriors.  The battle of Jim's driveway will only be the beginning round of the most horrifying war that any of us have ever seen.
> 
> Hope this information helps.


Cry about it castleboy


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 2, 2022)

Skitarii said:


> Cry about it castleboy


Since there is no emote for Heresy, I am rating your post as Islamic Content.


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## Retink (Jul 2, 2022)

Daily Affirmation said:


> I can't think of a more likely method of creating a demon than a community of thousands taunting an already evil rage pig to the point of heart stoppage. It's like when Freddie Kruger's nun mom got gang raped by mental patients, thereby conceiving him.


The thumb entered the orifice, has anyone checked up on Dan and if his hand was still his own or has he fled into the darkness with possession? Quite the fate to punt the gunt only for the grease to rot your mind. 



Rogal Dorn said:


> Since there is no emote for Heresy, I am rating your post as Islamic Content.


Dorn did build quite a few good castles.


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 2, 2022)

Retink said:


> Dorn did build quite a few good castles.


I've moved on to weaponizing the asteroid belt.  Try to keep up.


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## Retink (Jul 2, 2022)

Rogal Dorn said:


> I've moved on to weaponizing the asteroid belt.  Try to keep up.


Isn't Dorn one of the few retards primarchs still missing?


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 2, 2022)

Retink said:


> Isn't Dorn one of the few retards primarchs still missing?


Missing, yeah.  He might be the King In Yellow, but it's probably Constantin Valdor.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 2, 2022)

Rogal Dorn said:


> I've thought about this further, and.....  what if we painted a Gunt Guard kill team?  We'd only need five or six models for the job, and we could easily cover all the major players:
> 
> 1) Ralph
> 2) Pantsu
> ...


Money isn't the problem, my painting skill is. I could look into commissioning one...


Rogal Dorn said:


> Since there is no emote for Heresy, I am rating your post as Islamic Content.


So Heresy then?


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## WWE Champion (Jul 2, 2022)

In understand that you do not speak German and have no understanding how to write it, but it is really that that hard to write "Drachenlord" correctly in the title, when it is by far the biggest non-English thread with a high chance of being the one on the top of the international board?

To the theory: We have already discovered that Rainer Winkler's dad Rudi looks very similar to Ethan's Dad Ronnie in Drachenlord's thread. Even their names are pretty similar. So I think it is clear that they are almost certainly half-brothers and Rudi and Ronnie are the same person. I might later edit in a picture of each.


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## byuu (Jul 2, 2022)

WWE Champion said:


> In understand that you do not speak German and have no understanding how to write it, but it is really that that hard to write "Drachenlord" correctly in the title, when it is by far the biggest non-English thread with a high chance of being the one on the top of the international board?


English speakers don't get 'ch'. They always think it's a 'k' sound.


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## Rogal Dorn (Jul 2, 2022)

Procrastinhater said:


> Money isn't the problem, my painting skill is. I could look into commissioning one...


You would be an absolute legend if you commissioned a Gunt Guard kill team from a pro painter.  You'd have to send them a bunch of photos of Ralph et al, but it would be so worth it.


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## Retink (Jul 2, 2022)

WWE Champion said:


> In understand that you do not speak German and have no understanding how to write it, but it is really that that hard to write "Drachenlord" correctly in the title, when it is by far the biggest non-English thread with a high chance of being the one on the top of the international board?


Sir, this is America and we speak American here.


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## Johan Schmidt (Jul 2, 2022)

Doinker Marmalade said:


> No demons here, Drachenlord was the avatar of Vishnu, but now that he fell from grace and is in jail, Vishnu needed another hog to be his incarnation.
> View attachment 3444784


Wait, Drachenlords is in jail? Sad times.


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## Punished 🌍 (Jul 2, 2022)

Yes


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## Takayuki Yagami (Jul 2, 2022)

ScamL Likely said:


> Amateur demonology seems to be this sekturrr's fastest growing occupation.


Nah, we just have a bunch of 40k nerds.


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## Mr. Manchester (Jul 2, 2022)

I think there needs to be a few more pilgrimages to the crack shack before its official.  I have no doubt it will happen though.  Who's powers will Ralph absorb next?

Personally I hope he absorbs Cobras power to get random gay men showing up because people make him grinder profiles.


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## Emperor Julian (Jul 2, 2022)

Should be interesting to see if the yanks can match the raw sadism of the krauts and drachenlord with ralpth.
 Personally I think he's simply been possessed by he who waits behind the rows in prep for his sacrifice.


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## Stoneheart (Jul 3, 2022)

Johan Schmidt said:


> Wait, Drachenlords is in jail? Sad times.


no, he just got another round of probation and lost his drivers license, had to sell his newish truck and is now sitting in some basement writting porn blogs.


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## ScamL Likely (Jul 3, 2022)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> Nah, we just have a bunch of 40k nerds.


In this sekturrrr it all starts with Eldestfag Gaytor's theory of the sonichu demon possessing jewsh though.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 3, 2022)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> Nah, we just have a bunch of 40k nerds.


It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive tbh


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## REGENDarySumanai (Jul 3, 2022)

Mr. Manchester said:


> I think there needs to be a few more pilgrimages to the crack shack before its official.  I have no doubt it will happen though.  Who's powers will Ralph absorb next?
> 
> Personally I hope he absorbs Cobras power to get random gay men showing up because people make him grinder profiles.


Is that going to be his housewarming gift?


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## Black Light Red Panic (Jul 3, 2022)

SphinxItOver said:


> Chris + Drachenlord + DSP? Or, all things become real in Universe 1218. Ralph could not become the new Christian of this universe, since the prime is here. Therefore Ralph is Reldnahc Not Sew Naitsirhc. Goddess Blue Heart was being prescient and predicting the Anti-Chris? Is all the edits of Ralph as replacement Chris just fulfilling more of CWC goofy ass prophecies?
> View attachment 3444980


Shadow the Ragepig


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## Retink (Jul 4, 2022)

Mr. Manchester said:


> I think there needs to be a few more pilgrimages to the crack shack before its official.  I have no doubt it will happen though.  Who's powers will Ralph absorb next?
> 
> Personally I hope he absorbs Cobras power to get random gay men showing up because people make him grinder profiles.


But he will spread the AIDs to the gay and that's what the gay wants.


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## NoSpinZone (Jul 4, 2022)

Ralph will be leading the forces of Nurgle within the week.


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## Retink (Jul 5, 2022)

ScamL Likely said:


> In this sekturrrr it all starts with Eldestfag Gaytor's theory of the sonichu demon possessing jewsh though.


What would happen if Gaytor got arrested or died and Ralph absorbed his demons? Would it make Ralph even more retarded or would it make him love himself so much that he improves his life?


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## ScamL Likely (Jul 5, 2022)

Retink said:


> What would happen if Gaytor got arrested or died and Ralph absorbed his demons? Would it make Ralph even more retarded or would it make him love himself so much that he improves his life?


He would become an eldritch broommeister of the highest order.


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## HodgePodgeRogerDodger (Jul 6, 2022)

So Ralph is a sort of lolcow sin eater? How obese is he gonna get?


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## Expendable Zaku (Jul 6, 2022)

HodgePodgeRogerDodger said:


> So Ralph is a sort of lolcow sin eater? How obese is he gonna get?


He could cross streams and one day absorb Wings and DSP. But that could create a new Eye of Terror… and give birth to a new Chaos God. One of great sloth, begging, and denial, with minor aspects from his infernal peers.


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