# Trial of the Beauty Parlor



## Null (Dec 31, 2016)

Demonstrating an enormous lack of forethought and critical thinking skills, I've made what is probably the worst decision in my time of hosting this website and have opened a girlcow board. This is entirely because I want to consume the catty, destructive /cgl/-based lolcow communities.

No boys allowed. Stop saying you want to fuck Pixyteri. @Melchett is chief mod here.


Edit: I should elaborate.

We've tried making subforums in the past, like the Manosphere and the Entersphere, and they didn't work. The Tumblr board works, though, and I didn't know why for a long time.

I've decided that a good subforum is for a _subculture_, not for a category. The Rat King seems to be working because it's a subculture of people here that specifically enjoy the endless tranny drama (for some reason). The Tumblr board works because it's reforming Tumblr kids that are eating their own. The Manosphere didn't work because it was a category, and we already have thread prefixes.

So this is a trial of that. Our forum has a lot of catty girls. Lets see if they like the space.


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

Can we post here if they aren't garbage?

Asking for a friend, obviously.


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## Null (Dec 31, 2016)

Cuck Norris said:


> Can we post here if they aren't garbage?


ye just don't be creepy or weird


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## José Mourinho (Dec 31, 2016)

Examples of generic thirstposting in threads: (Credit to @Clown Doll and @Melchett for providing me good examples)


I would do her.
I can't fap to her.
X is fat and i would not have sex with her
Excessive talking if X is cute or not
"AYY I HAVE A DICK THAT I WANNA USE ON WOMEN BUT NOT THIS ONE GROSS LOL"
Would appreciate more examples to add to the guidelines too.


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## Broken Pussy (Dec 31, 2016)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/makeup-artist-mua-gurus.22667/

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/craftybeautydiva1-aka-crappybeautydummy.6614/


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## Philosophy Zombie (Dec 31, 2016)

Does parlor have a u in it or not? You need to decide.

Light theme flips to dark in this subforum, fix that.

Put Alice Wright here. Maybe Gloria. I guess they're not technically cosplay but they're broadly preoccupied with their appearances, you need to pad things out here, and the threads attract the audience you want to target.


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## DuskEngine (Dec 31, 2016)

The Kiwi Farms logo in this sub should also be pink and have a little bow to complete the *casual sexism.*


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

_Squeals_


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## FatFuckingClown (Dec 31, 2016)

Thank you, @Null .


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## GS 281 (Dec 31, 2016)

Can snowflakes and scammers be posted here?


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Philosophy Nong said:


> Light theme flips to dark in this subforum, fix that
> 
> Put Alice Wright here. Maybe Gloria. I guess they're not technically cosplay but they're broadly preoccupied with their appearances, you need to pad things out here, and the threads attract the audience you want to target.


Agreed, please move Alice's thread here because she literally founded a website on people who do their makeup wrong. Also, ban @philsophy nong for using the light theme.


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## Maiden-TieJuan (Dec 31, 2016)

Will ForeverKaylen and Victoria Belle Morte be here now?


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

I like that we're segregated by the color purple. This makes it even more fun.


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## Save Goober (Dec 31, 2016)

Well you already know this is a horribly bad idea lol. I'm surprised you finally did it.
Also stop labeling them as cosplay cows. It's just not accurate. 
Manosphere worked imo, it just aged out. I wouldn't call it a failure at all.


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## Ninja_Warrior (Dec 31, 2016)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/chelsea-zoe-quinn-van-valkenburg.14263/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/alison-rapp.18002/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/margaret-margo-palermo-venusangelics-mom.580/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/the-slaton-sisters-amy-slaton-tammy-slaton.9259/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/jessi-slaughter.17469/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/raven-sparks.5040/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kadeeliveslife-kadee-konstantino.21983/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/anna-johnson-the-fit-vegan-ginger.14839/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiki-kannibal-kirsten-leigh-ostrenga-mmmkikikannibal-lilou-vos.25693/

These threads should be moved here to make it complete


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## Broken Pussy (Dec 31, 2016)

I especially agree about Amy.  She does makeup tutorials all the time.  I also feel like the "makeup and girly stuff" thread from Off Topic should be here.


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

can we abscond with this OT thread, too? https://kiwifarms.net/threads/makeup-clothes-girly-stuff-thread.4137/


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## MW 002 (Dec 31, 2016)

Just dropped in to say that the purple makes the board look pretty


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## Vitriol (Dec 31, 2016)

This is the dating part of the forum yeah?

Also doesnt work with light theme btw.


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Vitriol said:


> This is the dating part of the forum yeah?
> 
> Also doesnt work with light theme btw.


Ban @Vitriol for outing himself as a light theme user.


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## Cthulu (Dec 31, 2016)

Vitriol said:


> This is the dating part of the forum yeah?
> 
> Also doesnt work with light theme btw.


good


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## Vitriol (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> Ban @Vitriol for outing himself as a light theme user.





Cthulhu said:


> good



You are both off the sweatheart list.


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## ToroidalBoat (Dec 31, 2016)

"No thirst."

I like how there has too be a specific rule for that.



Spoiler: purple stuff



The purple would be more readable in the dark theme if it was a lighter shade.


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## Vitriol (Dec 31, 2016)

Also pulls most embarressing board is their jessica negri one, can we do worse?


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

Vitriol said:


> can we do worse?


You really have to ask? How long have you been here?


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Vitriol said:


> Also pulls most embarressing board is their jessica negri one, can we do worse?


I like challenges.


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## Vitriol (Dec 31, 2016)

Cuck Norris said:


> You really have to ask? How long have you been here?


Idk man, its a pretty great thread. One of the most bitchy thousand pages on the interwebs, i would like this sub to be that catty/jealous.

#halaltheuglygirls


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## Philosophy Zombie (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> Agreed, please move Alice's thread here because she literally founded a website on people who do their makeup wrong. Also, ban @philsophy nong for using the light theme.


I used to use the dark theme but it's not dark enough for me anymore so what I do now is use the light theme + deluminate chrome extension to make it even darker. owned.


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Please also add this fat piece of shit that doesn't know how to dress itself: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/virgie-tovar.24674/


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> fat piece of shit that doesn't know how to dress itself


lol calm down


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Cuck Norris said:


> lol calm down


I know this will be hard to cram through your thick autistic man skull, _but that is not the purpose of *here*_.


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> I know this will be hard to cram through your thick man skull, _but that is not the purpose of *here*_.


Fight me IRL.


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## RI 360 (Dec 31, 2016)

Cuck Norris said:


> Fight me IRL.


lol first user catfight only took two pages. We're making excellent progress.

God Bless Girl Board.


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> lol first user catfight only took two pages. We're making excellent progress.
> 
> God Bless Girl Board.


I like helping.


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## Cthulu (Dec 31, 2016)

entropyseekswork said:


> I like challenges.


Gods help us


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## Tismo (Dec 31, 2016)

automatically make threads here for all the female users of Kiwi Farms, it's the only thing that makes sense.


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## Zarkov (Dec 31, 2016)

No your worst decision was deleting the Loveshy Therapy Center. There were nothing but kwâlity threads back there. 

Cuck.


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## gummy (Dec 31, 2016)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/amberlynn.23570/
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/maureen-lewis.10432/

here are some other people that should probably be moved over here


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## Zorceror44 (Dec 31, 2016)

I noticed that my Onision thread was added here, and I'm not exactly sure why. Think anybody could tell me?

Also, yeah, this seems like a pretty good idea. I feel like there needs to be a lot more categorization when it comes to lolcows.


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## Null (Dec 31, 2016)

Behead those that use Light Theme.



Zorceror44 said:


> I noticed that my Onision thread was added here, and I'm not exactly sure why. Think anybody could tell me?


Onion has a thread on every girlcow board because his fanbase is mostly maladjusted women.


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## InLivingTuna (Dec 31, 2016)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ashley-isaacs.9449/

EDIT: oh and obviously https://kiwifarms.net/threads/margaret-margo-palermo-venusangelics-mom.580/


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## Cthulu (Dec 31, 2016)

Null said:


> maladjusted women


@entropyseekswork


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## Cuck Norris (Dec 31, 2016)

Cthulhu said:


> @entropyseekswork


Not a woman.


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## Feline Darkmage (Dec 31, 2016)

So this is the master plan to usurp lolcow.farm huh?


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## yasscat (Dec 31, 2016)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/doe-deere-xenia-vorotova-insane-dangerous-scammy-makeup-cow.16270/
pls
thank


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## Tranhuviya (Dec 31, 2016)

Feline Darkmage said:


> So this is the master plan to usurp lolcow.farm huh?


Kiwi Uber Alles


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## Null (Dec 31, 2016)

Feline Darkmage said:


> So this is the master plan to usurp lolcow.farm huh?


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## A Skeleton (Dec 31, 2016)

me reading through this subforum


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## TheMightyMonarch (Dec 31, 2016)

So basically this is the /pt/ of Kiwi Farms.


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## Kikomi (Dec 31, 2016)

neat, now maybe i can read up on some catty drama without every other post being an insecure femanon bashing the lolcow's appearance.


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## Muncie Anderson (Dec 31, 2016)

Null said:


> No boys allowed. Stop saying you want to fuck Pixyteri. @Melchett is chief mod here.



If we don't behave, we're all getting sent over the top.


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## ChuckSlaughter (Dec 31, 2016)

Light theme is for failed normies whose eyes are used to bright lights


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## Mariposa Electrique (Dec 31, 2016)

I really like the forum symbol.......it  deceptively looks like the symbol for Venus (feminity), but that symbol also doubles as a hand mirror...great for narcissists. It's sad that narcissists often abuse the mirror giving this symbol such a bad reputation. 
https://mirrorpalace.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/aphrodite-and-mirrors/


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## HG 400 (Dec 31, 2016)

an entire subforum to say they apply makeup incorrectly

also i'd do them


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## Trombonista (Dec 31, 2016)

I think I'll like this board more once the light theme works.


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## Petronella (Dec 31, 2016)

Fuck yeah, this sounds like a good idea to me.


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## MysticMisty (Dec 31, 2016)

I'm not entirely sure why Alison Rapp is here aside from being female. The extent of her being interested in cosplay/beauty is her frequently reusing year-old model shoot and one day of cosplay at PAX. I mean she absolutely think she's hot shit (as evidenced by $200 photo prices), but she isn't giving bad makeup advice or recording herself applying makeup.


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## Null (Dec 31, 2016)

MysticMisty said:


> I'm not entirely sure why Alison Rapp is here aside from being female. The extent of her being interested in cosplay/beauty is her frequently reusing year-old model shoot and one day of cosplay at PAX. I mean she absolutely think she's hot shit (as evidenced by $200 photo prices), but she isn't giving bad makeup advice or recording herself applying makeup.


That's all there is to her now. She's a used rag with cottage cheese thighs. Shitting on her attempts at cosplay is all that's left.


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## Feline Darkmage (Dec 31, 2016)

Null said:


> That's all there is to her now. She's a used rag with cottage cheese thighs. Shitting on her attempts at cosplay is all that's left.



What about Zoe Quinn? I associate her much more strongly with GamerGate autism than with anything remotely close to make-up and cosplay subculture.


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## Jaded Optimist (Dec 31, 2016)

I move to change the name of the subforum to "the kitchen" since that's where all women belong.



Am I right?


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## admiral (Dec 31, 2016)

This board is gonna turn into behind the bows.


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## Trombonista (Dec 31, 2016)

On another note, I really like the name for this new subforum. Beauty parlors are known for gossip and small talk.


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## Ulfric Stormcloak (Dec 31, 2016)

trombonista said:


> On another note, I really like the name for this new subforum. Beauty parlors are known for gossip and small talk.


I for one enjoy this fabulously tasty color scheme.


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## Feline Darkmage (Jan 1, 2017)

I've got another thread that would fit in here.

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/nicole-sheena-duquette-oum.20671/


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## dunbrine47 (Jan 1, 2017)

a_name_but_backwards said:


> I move to change the name of the subforum to "the kitchen" since that's where all women belong.
> 
> 
> 
> Am I right?


Good, I'm hungry and require sammiches.


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## Jaded Optimist (Jan 1, 2017)

Feline Darkmage said:


> I've got another thread that would fit in here.
> 
> https://kiwifarms.net/threads/nicole-sheena-duquette-oum.20671/


Agree 100%.  I'm a rooster teeth fan and Monty's death sucked, then hearing all of the Sheena shit after was rough.  I also listen to game grumps (a hell of a lot less in the the 6 monthes) but it sucks when she is mentioned.



dunbrine47 said:


> Good, I'm hungry and require sammiches.


I thought I made a funny joke, apparently not in everyone's opinion, lol.


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## Broken Pussy (Jan 1, 2017)

a_name_but_backwards said:


> I thought I made a funny joke, apparently not in everyone's opinion, lol.



I lol'd. In the words of our lord and savior, Beyoncé, carry on.



Blake Bumbleby said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/threads/doe-deere-xenia-vorotova-insane-dangerous-scammy-makeup-cow.16270/
> plsk
> thank



I'm so relieved there is already a Doe Deere thread!  I totally whiffed on Jeffree, since I didn't think beforehand to make sure he didn't already have one.


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## Dalish (Jan 1, 2017)

Ember Whann thread should be moved here. She's banned on /snow/ because she stirs shit on anon and is generally a big fat liar. 

She'd honestly probably create sock puppets and cry on IG and try to raise a personal army for the farms 

10/10 would suggest 

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/ember-whann-thinspo-qween.7232/


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## Null (Jan 1, 2017)

Dalish said:


> Ember Whann thread should be moved here. She's banned on /snow/ because she stirs shit on anon and is generally a big fat liar.


What? They can't deal with trolling? Pussies.


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## Dalish (Jan 1, 2017)

Null said:


> What? They can't deal with trolling? Pussies.



She's a hot topic of contention because she's an attention whore and cow gets triggered v v v easily


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## creamyfanta (Jan 1, 2017)

I dont like the hue of the purple. 

I know that's picky, but it's a girl board. Can't I get pissy about colors?


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## Keystone (Jan 1, 2017)

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/milo-stewart.20856/

I think Natty would fit here since no matter how hard she tries (pretends) to be transgender, she acts really girly. Granted she may or may not be taking Testosterone that will irrevocably fuck her anatomy up, but time will tell how that plays out.


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## meatslab (Jan 1, 2017)

Yaaaassss kween!


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## Peace and Harmony (Jan 1, 2017)

where's the nudes thread


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## Daughter of Cernunnos (Jan 1, 2017)

resin lips should be added.


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## Dangus Bang Boon (Jan 1, 2017)

About time this happened.... excellent move.


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## SakuraRose (Jan 2, 2017)

Venus said:


> Just dropped in to say that the purple radiant orchid makes the board look pretty



FTFY.


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## bacterium (Jan 2, 2017)

Just stopping in to say I love the colo(u)r.

Also, would fuck XX, would not fuck XY


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## yasscat (Jan 2, 2017)

Venus said:


> Just dropped in to say that the purple makes the board look pretty


petition to make a dark-purple skin for the entire site


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## Null (Jan 2, 2017)

Blake Bumbleby said:


> petition to make a dark-purple skin for the entire site


https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/

Kiwi.X2 Kawaii


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## yasscat (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/
> 
> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii


ty based null


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## SakuraRose (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/
> 
> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii



This makes me feel *stunning*. Thank you, Glorious Leader.


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## Broken Pussy (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/
> 
> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii









Would it be possible to get a pinned Beauty News thread where people could post beauty news, makeup launches, industry buzz, that kind of thing? 

For instance, I read earlier today that Gwen Stefani has partnered with Revlon as a global brand ambassador.  So it totally makes sense now why Urban Decay clearanced out all her shit and used Ruby Rose for their Vice launch when they hadn't even been partnered with Gwen that long.  That bitch was totally cheating on them with Revlon and UD is owned by L'Oreal!


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## Null (Jan 2, 2017)

Broken Pussy said:


> Would it be possible to get a pinned Beauty News thread where people could post beauty news, makeup launches, industry buzz, that kind of thing?


You can make the thread but I'm not going to pin it. If it's worth being at the top of the board it'll get replies naturally.


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## meatslab (Jan 2, 2017)

I want it to be hot pink.


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## Broken Pussy (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> You can make the thread but I'm not going to pin it. If it's worth being at the top of the board it'll get replies naturally.



Thank you!


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## ZeCommissar (Jan 2, 2017)

Bout to thrist post so hard I get board-banned


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## Feline Darkmage (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/
> 
> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii



I wish i could rate semper fidoodles more than one time. but alas...


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## Beef Thunderpants (Jan 2, 2017)

Null said:


> https://kiwifarms.net/misc/style?redirect=/
> 
> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii


I get why people want it, but seriously, this Kawaii format fucks with my eyes.


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## RI 360 (Jan 2, 2017)

Beef Thunderpants said:


> I get why people want it, but seriously, this Kawaii format fucks with my eyes.





Spoiler: :feels:


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## Xarpho (Jan 2, 2017)

I thought this was supposed to be a refuge for PULL and similar sites, but  just from a cursory glance, it looks like you basically gender-segregated the Lolcow board. Am I wrong to assume this?


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## Cuck Norris (Jan 2, 2017)

Xarpho said:


> I thought this was supposed to be a refuge for PULL and similar sites, but  just from a cursory glance, it looks like you basically gender-segregated the Lolcow board. Am I wrong to assume this?


Girlcows only attract two types of people: trollshielding obese girls and thirsty NEETs.


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## RI 360 (Jan 2, 2017)

Xarpho said:


> I thought this was supposed to be a refuge for PULL and similar sites, but  just from a cursory glance, it looks like you basically gender-segregated the Lolcow board. Am I wrong to assume this?


No, CecilyK and is still over as a horrorcow, I think this just makes it easier for people who are inclined to be interested in histrionic wannabe models to find them.


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## waffle (Jan 3, 2017)

Onision's man (barely) why is he here? I'm just trying to figure out the standards, is it the legions of fan girls or the women he's swept up in his mess of a life.


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## OtterParty (Jan 3, 2017)

Broken Pussy said:


> Sorry for the double post but this is hours later and I wanted to ask:
> 
> Would it be possible to get a pinned Beauty News thread where people could post beauty news, makeup launches, industry buzz, that kind of thing?
> 
> For instance, I read earlier today that Gwen Stefani has partnered with Revlon as a global brand ambassador.  So it totally makes sense now why Urban Decay clearanced out all her shit and used Ruby Rose for their Vice launch when they hadn't even been partnered with Gwen that long.  That bitch was totally cheating on them with Revlon and UD is owned by L'Oreal!


most  of the beauty news thread is sperging about the hottest new color of makeup but if honeypotting makeup spergs was part of your plan it seems to be going well


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## Null (Jan 3, 2017)

waffle said:


> Onision's man (barely) why is he here? I'm just trying to figure out the standards, is it the legions of fan girls or the women he's swept up in his mess of a life.


It's about thread audience, not what the person is.


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## dacote (Jan 3, 2017)

Okay I promise not to do any whiteknighting in this subforum but I'm not sorry for previous whiteknightery and thirstposts


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## Dr.Research (Jan 3, 2017)

I think I may like the purple theme more than the Halloween theme.


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## selere (Jan 3, 2017)

Is thirst-posting the only special rule for this board? Can I still make fun of Chelsea Valkenburg for being fat or Alison Rapp for having gigantic eyebags?


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## RI 360 (Jan 3, 2017)

selere said:


> Is thirst-posting the only special rule for this board? Can I still make fun of Chelsea Valkenburg for being fat or Alison Rapp for having gigantic eyebags?


Fat people have no immunity anywhere on KF.


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## Broken Pussy (Jan 4, 2017)

OtterParty said:


> most  of the beauty news thread is sperging about the hottest new color of makeup but if honeypotting makeup spergs was part of your plan it seems to be going well



The newest color of makeup would be news to people who care about makeup.  And that was exactly the plan.  Those makeup spergs will increase traffic and some of them will like the place well enough that they'll financially contribute to keeping it running.  Is that not the goal for most websites?


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## Leo Bonhart (Jan 4, 2017)

Philosophy Nong said:


> Does parlor have a u in it or not? You need to decide.



@Null , I highly recommend the 'u' in parlour.  :autism: Pretty please indulge me and don't force me to sperg about my hatred of Noah Webster; he's 19th century lolcow material.


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## Fresh Grown Breasts (Jan 4, 2017)

Personally I'm loving the Beauty Parlor, I've found a few I've never heard of until now. My favourite breed of cow in one place


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## yasscat (Jan 4, 2017)

Fresh Grown Breasts said:


> Personally I'm loving the Beauty Parlor, I've found a few I've never heard of until now. My favourite breed of cow in one place


You might even say its stunneen.


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## D.Va (Jan 4, 2017)

Kiwi.X2 Kawaii is my sitewide theme now


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## yasscat (Jan 4, 2017)

D.Va said:


> Kiwi.X2 Kawaii is my sitewide theme now


as it should be
kawaii is best theme


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## Beaniebon (Jan 4, 2017)

I can't believe we now have a PULL forum.


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## Clown Doll (Jan 5, 2017)

selere said:


> Is thirst-posting the only special rule for this board?


It's not a "special rule" that only applies here. It's a *global* rule but it's especially important to keep in mind for this subforum. Kind of like how powerleveling is a global rule, but it's highlighted on the tumblr sub.


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## MunsterCheese (Jan 5, 2017)

Alan Pardew said:


> Examples of generic thirstposting in threads: (Credit to @Clown Doll and @Melchett for providing me good examples)
> 
> 
> I would do her.
> ...


Those sound like gold membership level ratings to me.

Also, I would do you.


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