# Fire In Chris's House - Part 2



## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 12, 2014)

The other thread was nearing 100 pages, so I thought I'd start another up here.


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## The Level Up King (Jan 12, 2014)

What's wrong with 100 pages?

And in response to The Knife from the last thread, all I see is something that looks like a red and white lawn chair (or at least a chair being used as a lawn chair).


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## CWCissey (Jan 12, 2014)

Is this the first subject to get two threads?


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## Count groudon (Jan 12, 2014)

No offense, but I don't really see the reason for this.  :arrow:


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## YouDorks (Jan 12, 2014)

So - any more news or theories as to the extent of the damage? I saw a ladder going up to Chris's room in the video but a lot of relics still survived, I guess. It takes a large fire, though, to burn through the goddamned roof. Then again, there was so much paper and cloth scattered everywhere that it's not hard to see how the place became a tinderbox rather quickly.


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 12, 2014)

In response to someone asking about the grass outside the house looking dead and whatnot, I have a feeling it looks like that due to all the traffic its had over the past couple days. Firetrucks, firefighters, pressure from the fire house....It probably took quite a trampling and, given how dead it was to begin with, killed a lot of it for good.


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## exball (Jan 12, 2014)

What more is there to discuss? The hoard finally cleaned itself.


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## Shadow Fox (Jan 12, 2014)

Spoiler












It looks like the siding is peeling away from the house up in that corner.

I really do wonder if they're just going to try to move back into it the way it is, though.  People can and do live in run-down houses with holes in the roof and boarded-up windows.  Since there was a fire and the house is now subject to inspection, would Chris and Barb be forbidden from trying to take up residence there again until the county gives them explicit permission to do so?


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## Oglooger (Jan 12, 2014)

I'm still curious over if chris took fire safety stuff during grade school AND if he applied it during the fire.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> What more is there to discuss? The hoard finally cleaned itself.



All that's left to do is for the neighbor's to throw a Block Party in celebration. Seeing from the new recon photos that the worst part of the fire was straight up through Chris' room (his was the upper left corner bedroom), I'd say that all the Sonichu originals and other material possessions he claimed the trolls were jealous of are now globs of melted plastic and ashes. Anything else left in the house is either badly smoke damaged or soaked in a frozen glob of sooty ice.


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## MayMay (Jan 12, 2014)

... hm, it doesn't really look that much worse than it did pre-fire.

And I got a sick chuckle out of the thread being set up by He Sets Me On Fire. =P The only way it could have been funnier is if the username was a quote about Chris Hoping the Game Place burned to the ground (along with Snyder). I... I'm not sure if I should feel bad about that.


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## fridgesrants (Jan 12, 2014)

Shadow Fox said:
			
		

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How would they move back into the house before any repairs are made?  I bet the fire damaged all of the wiring and pipes in the house and maybe damaged the flooring on the second floor.  I would not be shocked if the insurance company condemns the house all together.


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

The hose is done for. It won't be repaired nor will they move back. Stop thinking otherwise.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

Oglooger said:
			
		

> I'm still curious over if chris took fire safety stuff during grade school AND if he applied it during the fire.



I'm sure he heard stop, drop and roll a lot during elementary school. Even in high school we had fire drills where we marched outside once or twice a month so he may have had those. If I had to guess he probably grabbed what he did and hauled ass out. Unless he was on fire stop, drop and roll wouldn't do much and it's safe to say he didn't have (or probably knows how to use) a fire extinguisher.


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## Himawari (Jan 12, 2014)

I'm pretty sure the yard and trees were all dead long before the fire, due to the Chandlers' negligence.  The inferno had nothing to do with it.


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## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 12, 2014)

MayMay said:
			
		

> ... hm, it doesn't really look that much worse than it did pre-fire.
> 
> And I got a sick chuckle out of the thread being set up by He Sets Me On Fire. =P The only way it could have been funnier is if the username was a quote about Chris Hoping the Game Place burned to the ground (along with Snyder). I... I'm not sure if I should feel bad about that.



Heh, um ... oops.


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## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

Oglooger said:
			
		

> I'm still curious over if chris took fire safety stuff during grade school AND if he applied it during the fire.



[youtube]DtoQbXzNqkg[/youtube]


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 12, 2014)

Who knows but the fire might actually help the lawn in the end?


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## Ryan Rash (Jan 12, 2014)

Perhaps 14BC can find itself new life...

...as a crackhouse.


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Who knows but the fire might actually help the lawn in the end?




Yeah because when they bulldoze the house, nature will take it's course.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

Ryan Rash said:
			
		

> Perhaps 14BC can find itself new life...
> 
> ...as a crackhouse.



Imagine if some homeless person is looking for shelter and sees the house, obviously abandoned with damage, but is desperate and breaks in to stay the night.


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

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Even in death, the hoard hungers.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

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Your comment sort of reminds of a movie called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats about an evil possessed bed that can control the inside of a mansion and eats people.


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## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 12, 2014)

Oglooger said:
			
		

> I'm still curious over if chris took fire safety stuff during grade school AND if he applied it during the fire.



[youtube]V3XUYR_kbYs[/youtube]


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

From the first thread:



			
				count graduon said:
			
		

> A mans house just burnt down and they're more concerned with arguing in the comments like dumbasses. C'mon Anna at least give Chris one of your little asspat lines before contributing to the shitstorm.



This really defines how insane Anna and Watermelon are. Neither one seems to give a shit about the gravity of this event. Chris's entire life has just been turned upside down, yet his self-proclaimed true friends just want to replay the same pissing match with random weens as they always do. From the way they behave it's like they think it's business as usual for Chris.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

I wonder if Barb will have the audacity to list all the items in the hoard as part of her insurance claim, as if they were brand-new at their full retail price, no less?

Plus, Chris being Chris and listing his porn collection at $1000, plus all of his other crap like Bob's TV and the rest, all at inflated prices.

And remember, *NO HAGGLING!*

Oh, the look on that claim agent's face when the paperwork comes in.


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> From the first thread:
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It's because Anna an waterman only want attention. They know weens will give it to them. None of their "friendship" with Chris had anything to to with actually liking Chris. They just want to stroke their internet egos.


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## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> What's wrong with 100 pages?
> 
> And in response to The Knife from the last thread, all I see is something that looks like a red and white lawn chair (or at least a chair being used as a lawn chair).



Looks like the lawn chairs from the last house tour vid.  I remember them because I was jealous that they had old school metal chairs instead of plastic, and they didn't even appear to be rusted out!  What gets me is the persistent presence of the tarp-covered appliances on the front lawn.  They were there last June, weren't they?  Either use them, sell them or scrap them, please!  Their value is rapidly decreasing sitting on the front lawn!


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## pukeums (Jan 12, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

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Ooh, all the leftover  mashed into the ground could help the plot grow into a bountiful garden.


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## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> I wonder if Barb will have the audacity to list all the items in the hoard as part of her insurance claim, as if they were brand-new at their full retail price, no less?
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> Plus, Chris being Chris and listing his porn collection at $1000, plus all of his other crap like Bob's TV and the rest, all at inflated prices.
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> ...



I hope they do, and I hope they get (most of) what they ask for.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> I wonder if Barb will have the audacity to list all the items in the hoard as part of her insurance claim, as if they were brand-new at their full retail price, no less?
> 
> Plus, Chris being Chris and listing his porn collection at $1000, plus all of his other crap like Bob's TV and the rest, all at inflated prices.
> 
> And remember, *NO HAGGLING!*


Ironically, "No Haggling" is going to be the insurance company's attitude when Chris and Barb decide the check they get isn't big enough.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> From the first thread:
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Exactly, Watermelon and Anna's entire relationship with Chris is centred around the smug, self satisfaction they feel when shouting down the trolls, Chris is really just a vehicle to moral superiority to them.

It's mind boggling that it doesn't seem to have dawned on them that this isn't just another misadventure for Chris, it's a fucking massive, life changing ordeal for him. I've often accused Chris of just reverting to a default setting whenever he hits a bump in the road, but it seems that these two fuckwits can't even go beyond that in the first place. Unbelievable!


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> I hope they do, and I hope they get (most of) what they ask for.


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## Horde Prime (Jan 12, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> Your comment sort of reminds of a movie called Death Bed: The Bed That Eats about an evil possessed bed that can control the inside of a mansion and eats people.



That sounds awful.  I'll have to check it out.  I love a 'good' bad movie.


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## Giovanni (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Plus, Chris being Chris and listing his porn collection at $1000, plus all of his other crap like Bob's TV and the rest, all at inflated prices.



He's going to have to reduce the prices again, since they're no longer from a smoke-free house.


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## Picklechu (Jan 12, 2014)

Based off of the new pictures of the outside of 14BC, it seems possible that the house may be beyond repair (we can't confirm this, barring the borderline impossible scenario of a new house tour). We can also see that the fire _did_ go through Chris' room, which I and a few other people had been wondering about. Therefore, all of the vidya, drawings, etc are very likely gone.

What Chris does over the next two to three months is _vital_, as this is very likely a major fork in the road. 

Also, to comment on  , she has never cared anything about Chris other than the attention that he brings her. She has a miserable, empty life out in Provo, but her association with Chris means that people pay attention to what she says, and that weens will message her/talk shit about her, meaning that she gets to feel smug about her supposed moral superiority.


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## The Mackers (Jan 12, 2014)

Giovanni said:
			
		

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I said this in the previous thread, joke-thief!


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## Shadow (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

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Is that one Chris's room? Really?

Shit.


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## TrippinKahlua (Jan 12, 2014)

Ryan Rash said:
			
		

> Perhaps 14BC can find itself new life...
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> ...as a crackhouse.



I'll go in there and beat those crack head and their hookers up. Just like San Andreas.


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## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> qld said:
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> > I hope they do, and I hope they get (most of) what they ask for.



I don't want the show to stop.  If they move into a two bedroom apartment and have very little cash to blow on vidya, goodwill crap, porn, etc, where's the fun in that?  I'm not out to stop him from buying and playing his vidya.  If they want to live in a hoard, I'm not out to influence that, either.  They need backing to keep the show going, and I hope state farm gives it to them.  Repair or replace the house, give them several grand to replace the contents.  They'll be right back to a pre-fire bankroll before long, it's not going to change their lives.  But it will enable this saga to continue.  Anyone hoping they wind up with nothing from insurance and paying rent in an apartment is the same person wanting ChrisChan to dry up, and have this forum largely dead in six months.


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## The Nameless One (Jan 12, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

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It's even better. To quote the Cinema Snob, it's "some kind of exploitation art film where characters speak to each other in an internal monologue, statues bleed tears... beautiful flowers grow in the garden once the bed eats, and there is an artist living inside his own painting." http://thecinemasnob.com/2010/01/28/dea ... -eats.aspx

I think the Anna-signal only went off once after the argument started in the comments. She immediately dashed to her computer, mumbling, "Hm, Chris's house burned down, everything lost, life ruined, whatever... WHAT! An inconsequential person made an inappropriate joke in the comments?! THIS SHALL NOT STAND."


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 12, 2014)

Giovanni said:
			
		

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Hahahahaha! Awwww, Dude....I'd call that a sick burn....but that would be tactless.


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## Picklechu (Jan 12, 2014)

The Nameless One said:
			
		

> I think the Anna-signal only went off once after the argument started in the comments. She immediately dashed to her computer, mumbling, "Hm, Chris's house burned down, everything lost, life ruined, whatever... WHAT! An inconsequential person made an inappropriate joke in the comments?! THIS SHALL NOT STAND."



Hahaha, I love the thought of an "Anna Signal" projected on some clouds somewhere in Provo.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> Based off of the new pictures of the outside of 14BC, it seems possible that the house may be beyond repair (we can't confirm this, barring the borderline impossible scenario of a new house tour). We can also see that the fire _did_ go through Chris' room, which I and a few other people had been wondering about. Therefore, all of the vidya, drawings, etc are very likely gone.
> 
> What Chris does over the next two to three months is _vital_, as this is very likely a major fork in the road.



I think the odds are more than significant that Chris will do something(s) incredibly stupid and Fail. He's got a talent for making the most absolute worst decisions possible.


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## Thetan (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> From the first thread:
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That one eyed guy may be a complete douche, but his calling Anna a "shylock nosed thunder cunt" made me giggle. That nickname seems rather appropriate.

But back to your point, yeah, just goes to show that Anna and Waterhead are completely useless, self-absorbed twats.


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## Laura_Dern (Jan 12, 2014)

I'm fascinated at how both of the cars are still there in those pictures. You'd think they would have taken at least one of them with them.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

Shadow said:
			
		

> Is that one Chris's room? Really?
> 
> Shit.



Yep. You can see boards over the windows on the far side of the house to get an idea just how far the fire spread, but Chris' little corner of the world took the biggest damage and was no doubt ground zero of the fire plume that rose all the way from the basement through to the roof. It's like that room was sitting right on top of a volcano that erupted. Everything from the Sonichu collection to his $500+ Lego model of Manchester High is now ash.

And AFAIK, there is a certain maximum limit to the amount of money the insurance would cover I'd think. Chris can't claim that he had the art works of Pablo Piccasso, Andy Worhol, and Jack Kirby in his room and expect to receive (pinky to corner of mouth) one million dollars.

Oh, and if anyone's gonna donate anything to Chris & Barb, may I make a suggestion?

http://www.amazon.com/Vlasic-Kosher-Dil ... ic+pickles



			
				qld said:
			
		

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Like is aid before, Barb is likely to end up in an assisted care facility and Chris will end up in either a halfway house or under a highway overpass (probably both once the HWH residents and caretakers get fed up with him).

And even if they luck out and wind up living together in an assisted rent apartment (so much for Chris escaping from his Barb if that happens), regard it as a reboot. if Star Trek can do it, so can the CWC saga.


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## Chuggernaut (Jan 12, 2014)

I think it's more likely that they buy a trailer and move onto the land after the house is demolished, personally.


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 12, 2014)

Well shit has gone down quite a bit since I last wrote. I just wanna say I loved Anna getting shut down for doing her typical bullshit. Even Waterhead was like "Dude, chillax."


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Chuggernaut said:
			
		

> I think it's more likely that they buy a trailer and move onto the land after the house is demolished, personally.




Well barb and Chris only need one bed


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 12, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> That one eyed guy may be a complete douche, but his calling Anna a "shylock nosed thunder cunt" made me giggle. That nickname seems rather appropriate.



If Anna ever creates another account here, I demand that "Shylock-nosed Thunder Cunt" be her custom forum rank.


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Yep. You can see boards over the windows on the far side of the house to get an idea just how far the fire spread, but Chris' little corner of the world took the biggest damage and was no doubt ground zero of the fire plume that rose all the way from the basement through to the roof. It's like that room was sitting right on top of a volcano that erupted. Everything from the Sonichu collection to his $500+ Lego model of Manchester High is now ash.



Nope.

The boards over the windows do not give us any indication "how far the fire spread". After the fire, the insurance sent someone over to board the place up because that is standard procedure after a house fire. It's meant to prevent looting of an uninhabited property.  

We know that the lego school model has just molten some; it certainly isn't "ash".

What we don't know is which rooms took the brunt of the damage but going from the state of the lego model, we can certainly assume that your "ground zero / volcano" scenario is wrong.


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## cahoots (Jan 12, 2014)

Kellie Andes facebook profile photo as of Dec. 29, 2013:


Spoiler












Her occupation is listed as firefighter too. Is that true?


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

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Anna use to have an account on here?

Oh man....what the hell was that even like?


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## cans.wav (Jan 12, 2014)

Someone needs to tell Chris this
"We all change. When you think about it, we're all different people all through our lives,And that's OK, that's good, as long as you keep moving, as long as you remember all the people that you used to be".


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 12, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

> Kellie Andes facebook profile photo as of Dec. 29, 2013:
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It was listed as firefighter when I saw it back in October so I guess it's legit.


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 12, 2014)

Wouldn't it be strange if Kellie were one of the firefighters at Chris's house? Though I highly doubt it since she lives in Midlothian, but...


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> Wouldn't it be strange if Kellie were one of the firefighters at Chris's house? Though I highly doubt it since she lives in Midlothian, but...


Its best that she wasn't. Chris would more than likely convince himself that she let his house burn instead of saving every single one of his possessions...


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

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Sooo does this add to "Chris intentionally starting the fire" conspiracy?


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

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BTW, I hit the MMYeah button by accident instead of Reply. Just so you knew.

Cross-referencing the interior of his bedroom with the location of the window, it's apparent that his bedroom was on the far left corner of the house. And lining up that side as the side that took the worst hit from the flames, nothing is left of Chris' room. Not even the floor or ceiling.


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## Thetan (Jan 12, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

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Yes


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## The Nameless One (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> Wouldn't it be strange if Kellie were one of the firefighters at Chris's house? Though I highly doubt it since she lives in Midlothian, but...


If Chris's life actually were a piece of literature, then that would be the perfect culmination of the recent gal-pal saga. Sadly, for once in Chris's life, in this case reality trumps narrative.

As for whether Chris's room was destroyed, if his Lego MHS were, as some have suggested, in the room where he and Barba stay instead of his bedroom, then the Lego high school's continued existence doesn't disprove his whole room being burned to cinders.


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## LM 697 (Jan 12, 2014)

CHRIS STARTED THE FIRE SO HE COULD LURE KELLIE ANDES TO HIS HOUSE!!! SHE'S THE FIREFIGHTER WHO RECEIVED "MINOR INJURIES"!!!


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 12, 2014)

CompyRex said:
			
		

> CHRIS STARTED THE FIRE SO HE COULD LURE KELLIE ANDES TO HIS HOUSE!!! SHE'S THE FIREFIGHTER WHO RECEIVED "MINOR INJURIES"!!!



Why didn't Officer Kimmi stop him?!


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

TrippinKahlua said:
			
		

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Well, Chris has already failed at the secret "Hot Coffee" level.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

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I think it's technically an art film (so the level of badness might actually make it a masterpiece). A guy called the Cinema Snob did a review of it if you want spoilers. If I remember correctly there is also a Wikipedia article on it.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

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Chris wasn't in his room, so of course she couldn't.


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## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

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the fire was at 3am, officer kimmi phoned proper authorities, she is a hero


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

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[youtube]tBhsPP06-mA[/youtube]

Edit: found the full movie

[youtube]PE45groHd6Q[/youtube]

(I have seen it before. It is amazing)


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 12, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> A guy called the Cinema Snob did a review of it



Does he have a retarded half brother?


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## blackie toy (Jan 12, 2014)

Shadow Fox said:
			
		

> I really do wonder if they're just going to try to move back into it the way it is, though.  People can and do live in run-down houses with holes in the roof and boarded-up windows.  Since there was a fire and the house is now subject to inspection, would Chris and Barb be forbidden from trying to take up residence there again until the county gives them explicit permission to do so?



If they try to live there, the town or county will condemn the place and forcibly evict them. Absolutely no way in hell that place is habitable, even if it's structurally sound. Then they'll warn them to make the required repairs a few times. Finally, they'll publish a call for bids to make the repairs or to demolish the house, and award the contract to the lowest bidder. Then they'll send the bill to the Chandlers, plus a moderate fine. At least that's pretty much the procedure in most areas of the country. Obviously, it varies between states and to an extent between counties.

In all it's pretty likely the place will sit uninhabited for months before anything substantial happens. The Chandlers will be able to sift through the house for any belongings that might be left. They'll probably get a couple estimates from people they know from church, but they'll decide it's just too expensive and will take too long. _Hopefully_ they'll figure that out before some con artist descends, makes a low low offer, and does sub-code work that just causes another fire in a few years (or does a little pretending to work and just runs off with the money). And if they do decide to give up, hopefully they sell the land quickly to someone who will either rehab the home or demolish it and build new (i.e., before the property taxes start piling up, along with the aforementioned mandated repairs/demolition).


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

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Snob is a HONEST and TRUE only child.


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## HerebeDragons (Jan 12, 2014)

RagtimeRoastBeefy said:
			
		

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And then she exploded.  Christory's first martyr.


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 12, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Edit: found the full movie
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> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE45groHd6Q
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> (I have seen it before. It is amazing)



I clicked right on the part with the boobs around 23 minutes in.


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 12, 2014)

I wonder how Kellie would react to learning about Chris's house burning up.


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## The Dude (Jan 12, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

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Anna lives in Orem, not Provo.


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 12, 2014)

So, it seems like the popular opinion is the house is not gonna be repaired and possible destroyed. I wonder, what if they build a new house on the plot of land and someone else moves in? Will ween kids never leave them alone just because they have the same address CWC used to have? You'd think because of the area and the fact that CWC used to live there the land the house used to be on would be cheap.


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## PopOfColor (Jan 12, 2014)

I think they can get HUD it tends to come with the


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 12, 2014)

MayMay said:
			
		

> ... hm, it doesn't really look that much worse than it did pre-fire.



At my old apartment, our next door neighbor's unit caught fire.  There was superficial damage on the outside, but when the landlord let my girlfriend and me in to take a look at it a few days later, it was completely charred black.  If it wasn't burnt to a crisp, it was melted.  The inlay on their ceiling fan was hanging down like melted candle wax.  It had to be gutted and rebuilt.  And wouldn't you know it, it started because our neighbor left an appliance unattended.  After the fire department concluded their investigation, he was evicted and lost his deposit.  



			
				Oglooger said:
			
		

> I'm still curious over if chris took fire safety stuff during grade school AND if he applied it during the fire.



No safety training I have ever seen has involved making sure you got out with at least one portable gaming device.  I think the only thing that kept him from going after the Hand Drawn Originals is his terror in the face of a wall of fire.  Barb almost certainly had to make her own way out.


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## Zap Rowsdower (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> I wonder how Kellie would react to learning about Chris's house burning up.



"OH MY GOD, CHRIS!!"


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

Okay, okay, I know I'm new here on the forums, but I have actually been following Chris and his antics since 2009, so I have to say this.

Waterhead seems like... An odd guy, certainly, but I actually don't feel like he has any ulterior motive. I know he DOES check the CWCki forums, but it only seems like he does it like anybody else involved in such a public spectacle would do so-- "I wonder if they mentioned me!". I mean, if I were even remotely close to Chris, and knew that his entire life was being documented, I'd be curious as well. However, I don't think he means any harm, and despite how awkward and clueless he seems at times, I think it's just due to his nature. I mean, just judging by the way he responds to Jon, you can tell that he IS a little bit, er, unique.   

On the other hand, Anna is just a fucking pain in the ass. She's a pandering leech of a person, who should definitely know much better, but just uses Chris as a way to boost her own ego. Screw that.

And for that matter, Jon is a totally unfunny ween. He comes across as a fourteen-year-old, relying on horrifically unfunny "yo momma" jokes to attempt to 'defeat' Waterhead in this pathetic argument.

I mean, jesus. What a fucking circus.


----------



## Clydesdale Cash (Jan 12, 2014)

Oh man... my heart literally skipped a beat when I learned about this.

You know, Chris has had a pretty shitty life. Most of it his own doing, but this is quite possibly the biggest thing to happen that was well beyond his control-admittedly, the hoarding probably made the fire worse, but whatever-, and it absolutely sucks. It's completely dislodged him from what may be the last safe, comfortable place he has in his life.

For once, I don't think I can chide Chris or preach to the choir about how it's really all his fault. I legit feel bad for him right now.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 12, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> So, it seems like the popular opinion is the house is not gonna be repaired and possible destroyed. I wonder, what if they build a new house on the plot of land and someone else moves in? Will ween kids never leave them alone just because they have the same address CWC used to have? You'd think because of the area and the fact that CWC used to live there the land the house used to be on would be cheap.



That house is in the middle of nowhere.  I can't imagine there is much of a real estate market on or around Branchland Ct.  My guess is that it will be dozed and nothing will ever be rebuilt there - much to the neighbors' relief.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> Is this the first subject to get two threads?



In my experience with forum software(s), once a thread reaches a certain size it becomes very resource heavy in the way of indexing new posts and how it handles searching, quoting, and other maintenance routines. HSMOF is creating a second thread to potentially reduce the amount of strain being put on the servers during this high traffic period.



			
				Shadow said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If the house diagrams that we've seen over the years are correct, that appears to be Chris' bedroom. I was about to point out that observation. It appears as though the fire burst through the roof and the corner of the house there. This is just speculation, but I would imagine with the amount of plastic debris in his room (video games, action figures, Lego, etc) the fire would have burned _very_ hot resulting in the bursting seen there and/or the temperatures hot enough to deform the siding.

Additionally, even if there was a moderate fire there everything in that room would have been doused with water and likely ruined. It's incredibly unfortunate to think, but from this point it does appear that the anthology of Christian Weston Chandler has been incinerated. This was hypothesized way early on when users pointed out the firefighters entering through that window and the potential scorching seen there (which has been confirmed by Ruckersvillian's pictures, at first it was thought it may have been shadows).

We are working on replacing Chris' artwork and personal/creative affects here: viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3279


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## Dr.Research (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Okay, okay, I know I'm new here on the forums, but I have actually been following Chris and his antics since 2009, so I have to say this.
> 
> Waterhead seems like... An odd guy, certainly, but I actually don't feel like he has any ulterior motive. I know he DOES check the CWCki forums, but it only seems like he does it like anybody else involved in such a public spectacle would do so-- "I wonder if they mentioned me!". I mean, if I were even remotely close to Chris, and knew that his entire life was being documented, I'd be curious as well. However, I don't think he means any harm, and despite how awkward and clueless he seems at times, I think it's just due to his nature. I mean, just judging by the way he responds to Jon, you can tell that he IS a little bit, er, unique.
> 
> ...



Waterhead kind of amuses, honestly. I agree he's harmless and Anna is more of a pain but the guy just some of amuses me with his off topic responses and how he seems to miss the points.


----------



## JFKdestroyer (Jan 12, 2014)

Chris' room has windows on two sides. The room in the upper left corner only has windows on one side. Chris' room must be on the opposite side around back.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Right, that's what I mean! He's amusing, agreed (particularly in the whole "I have coupons for iced tea!" bit), but he's definitely not on the same level as Anna and Jon, who are just assholes, pure and simple. He just seems, as you said, harmless and rather clueless overall. I felt like his comment about Keurig, for instance, really let Chris know, in a non-confrontational way, how absurd his hatred toward the company was, but then he got lost in that whole battle against Jon... Still, though. Maybe it's just me, but he seems okay. Definitely has more than a couple of screws loose, though.


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## pickleniggo (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

> CompyRex said:
> 
> 
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She was probably feeling a little deflated. 
*badum TSH*



			
				Clydesdale Cash said:
			
		

> For once, I don't think I can chide Chris or preach to the choir about how it's really all his fault. I legit feel bad for him right now.


Well, if there's a lesson to learn in all of this, it's that you should never leave appliances plugged into a bathroom outlet. Especially coffee machines.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 12, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> We are working on replacing Chris' artwork and personal/creative affects here: http://cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=3279



Why?  He's rid himself of most of his crutches in one fell blow.  Should we buy Barb 5 broken down refrigerators too?


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> I wonder how Kellie would react to learning about Chris's house burning up.



She seems like a nice person, overall. I bet she would feel some remorse for having recently made fun of him.

On another note.......
COO! (NAGEKI! Is that you?!)


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## Himawari (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Okay, okay, I know I'm new here on the forums, but I have actually been following Chris and his antics since 2009, so I have to say this.
> 
> Waterhead seems like... An odd guy, certainly, but I actually don't feel like he has any ulterior motive. I know he DOES check the CWCki forums, but it only seems like he does it like anybody else involved in such a public spectacle would do so-- "I wonder if they mentioned me!". I mean, if I were even remotely close to Chris, and knew that his entire life was being documented, I'd be curious as well. However, I don't think he means any harm, and despite how awkward and clueless he seems at times, I think it's just due to his nature. I mean, just judging by the way he responds to Jon, you can tell that he IS a little bit, er, unique.
> 
> ...


completely off-topic, but now we have Nageki AND Oko-san!

Anybirdie else?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I suggested the idea of sending Chris a concise collection of his now-lost comics and writings, his DVD with the videos of him a child on it, a replacement yearbook, and a makeshift family photo album because it's a kind gesture. Especially the family pictures since most people don't get those back after a fire.

Whether or not he's outgrown or doesn't need Sonichu anymore is moot. I sympathize with Chris as a person who also writes and creates things and if I lost my work I'd be more upset over that then the loss of property. Houses can be replaced, but the byproducts of creativity are another story completely. It's a simple gesture and that's it, if Chris doesn't want or need his old comics he can toss them. Alternatively, he might be happy to receive them again if he had assumed everything was gone. Either way, as I said it's just a nice thing to do for someone.


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 12, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
> 
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I know right? Now there's a matching Oko-san avatar to my Nageki one. 



			
				snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Mourning Dove said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yes! Though it feels really awkward having a character who committed suicide by fire as my avatar in this fire-related conversation though...


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## Picklechu (Jan 12, 2014)

The Dude said:
			
		

> Picklechu said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Looking at her page, I now see that. I recall that she was in Provo a few years ago, although that could have just been a location from a Facebook update or something. Regardless, they're right next to each other.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 12, 2014)

Not sure this was necessary, but okay.


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## random_pickle (Jan 12, 2014)

I'm still having a bit of trouble accessing the CWCki, can anyone repost Waterhead's and Anna's posts?


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

> Not sure this was necessary, but okay.



Sorry RAEL. I'm a genuine CWC follower, and I'm actually completely unrelated to Mourning Dove, we just have the same taste in video games, it would seem.

Back on-topic: I WOULD like to say that, despite Chris and Barb's usual sense of priority, I do appreciate that they made sure to take all of the pets they could find with them when they escaped the fire. I mean, I would have expected Chris to grab his PS3 before he went looking for Clover and Snoopy. So, at the very least, good on them for that.


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 12, 2014)

The biggest highlight of the Facebook comment debacle is someone finally pointing out what a piece of shit Anna is.


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## Alex Jones (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> R.A.E.L. said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm pretty sure he was talking about the thread, not you.


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## sparklemilhouse (Jan 12, 2014)

^ I think the Cadillac still runs, and they also have a blue dodge minvan that is about 10 years old. 





what is that blue sedan in the front? ANOTHER car from the chandlers? Or is that the Mitsubishi? Looks like the shitty Ford Escort I had 10 years ago.


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## wheat pasta (Jan 12, 2014)

While I have nothing to add to the current discussion, I'm very curious to see what Barb's next move is, considering she's more in charge of their affairs than Chris (not saying much, I know). I guess it depends on what they get from the insurance company. Really, I just want to see how it ends. Things got way too serious way too fast.


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## bristol (Jan 12, 2014)

With a lot of Chris' inner circle showing their true nature, can we argue that legitimately noone gives a shit about the Chandler family?

Let me clarify - I'm not trying to pump up a display of ill will. Rather, I'm wondering: Does the Chandler family actually have anyone they can turn to now? They can rely on the kindness of strangers for now, but I can't think of anyone the Chandlers could receive support or guidance from. It doesn't help that Bob is gone too.

I don't want to seem overly dramatic, but the worst seems likely.


----------



## The Level Up King (Jan 12, 2014)

bristol said:
			
		

> With a lot of Chris' inner circle showing their true nature, can we argue that legitimately noone gives a shit about the Chandler family?
> 
> Let me clarify - I'm not trying to pump up a display of ill will. Rather, I'm wondering: Does the Chandler family actually have anyone they can turn to now? They can rely on the kindness of strangers for now, but I can't think of anyone the Chandlers could receive support or guidance from. It doesn't help that Bob is gone too.
> 
> I don't want to seem overly dramatic, but the worst seems likely.


I think Rocky, and a few members of their congregation, legitimately care about Chris and his family.  Not to mention many of us.


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## cahoots (Jan 12, 2014)

I think the big question here is whether Patti and Kid Chris's ghosts will still protect the house. Will they go with the Chandlers to their new home, or will they just protect whoever ends up owning the property? 

Do we have any dog ghost experts on this forum?


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## Marvin (Jan 12, 2014)

bristol said:
			
		

> With a lot of Chris' inner circle showing their true nature, can we argue that legitimately noone gives a shit about the Chandler family?
> 
> Let me clarify - I'm not trying to pump up a display of ill will. Rather, I'm wondering: Does the Chandler family actually have anyone they can turn to now? They can rely on the kindness of strangers for now, but I can't think of anyone the Chandlers could receive support or guidance from. It doesn't help that Bob is gone too.
> 
> I don't want to seem overly dramatic, but the worst seems likely.


Well Rocky. Also some of Chris' friends might help.


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## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

bristol said:
			
		

> With a lot of Chris' inner circle showing their true nature, can we argue that legitimately noone gives a shit about the Chandler family?
> 
> Let me clarify - I'm not trying to pump up a display of ill will. Rather, I'm wondering: Does the Chandler family actually have anyone they can turn to now? They can rely on the kindness of strangers for now, but I can't think of anyone the Chandlers could receive support or guidance from. It doesn't help that Bob is gone too.
> 
> I don't want to seem overly dramatic, but the worst seems likely.



I may be but a gentle old goose, but I do think that those around the Chandler clan are NOT showing themselves to be well-versed in fine etiquette! Madame Goosefeather here could teach them a thing or two about helping out their friends and neighbors. To begin with, I must say that Anna should have immediately shown her support and sympathy for the terrible situation that Chris finds himself in! It is beyond belief that the only comment she has made up until now was to play referee in a silly little argument between Waterface and Joe! Absolutely reprehensible!


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 12, 2014)

Brother, it is ironic that the trolls have done more for Chris in his time of need than his "friend" Anna


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## Pikonic (Jan 12, 2014)

Have we heard anything from Anna?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I dunno. This seems like a kind gesture too far. Sending family photos and a makeshift yearbook/replacement yearbook, that's fine. He'll no doubt find it very creepy, flip out and throw it out/curse trolls, but it's a kind gesture nonetheless. But sending him Sonichu reprints? He said not a few days before the fire how trolls have basically ruined it for him. Sending him reprints is basically equivalent to reminding him of his worst failure. It'd bring back a lot of bad memories.



It might. I realize toward the end of Sonichu when Asperchu and BILLY MAYS and Clyde Cash were all running rampant in the storyline the entire production just went straight to hell and it upset Chris a lot, resulting in the end of the series.

Sonichu as a character and idea predates all of that, though. The first few issues of Sonichu were just a regular story of some guy going through a rough single life. I agree that the troll episodes would probably be in "bad taste", but I feel like giving him an incomplete collection of his work would also be rude in that respect as well. (The collection I am sending to him also features more than just the comics, it has the Wall of Originals and his short stories as well.)

If it brings up painful memories, he can shelve it until he's ready to face them or he can throw the book away immediately. That's not my concern. Since I have immediate access to a copy of his anthology in a time where no one else does, not even Chris himself, I figured it would be a nice thing to give to him if only to remind him of Sonichu as a character, an idea, and an effort. It is arguably the single thing he's put the most effort into and returning his work to him is more of a symbolic gesture than a "you can't escape the trolls" one.

But I do see how it can be viewed as such.


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## Picklechu (Jan 12, 2014)

Pikonic said:
			
		

> Have we heard anything from Anna?



Other than her attempt at refereeing, I don't think so. If she has contacted Chris at all, it was likely via PM, text, etc.


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## Seahorses (Jan 12, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

> I think the big question here is whether Patti and Kid Chris's ghosts will still protect the house. Will they go with the Chandlers to their new home, or will they just protect whoever ends up owning the property?
> 
> Do we have any dog ghost experts on this forum?



I almost choked on my food when I read this. "Dog ghost experts." You killed me.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 12, 2014)

To those who are gathering donations for Chris, please consider the following:

This is Chris.

This.is.Chris.

He will either

-- Be paranoid and reject it outright
-- Regard it as "restitution from the trolls" and laugh in everyone's faces at how he got free stuff from them (yet being too stupid to notice that he still lost everything in the fire)
-- whine that it still does not make up for the lost years of   , the lack of millionaire supermodel gal-pals, and for not lynching that thieving Joo and several total strangers throughout the Ruckersville area that dared to defy him.
-- say nothing at all, the ungrateful bastard

Anyone who thinks that Chris will be a human being and will be grateful for their kindness are going to feel like suckers when this is through. In Chris' world, you're either a slave or an enemy.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 12, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> To those who are gathering donations for Chris, please consider the following:
> 
> This is Chris.
> 
> ...



Brother, you don't do it for recognition or thanks, you do it to be a good person and to help a person in their time of need.

The donations will be going to his agent, the Hulkster believes, which means Chris will likely "trust" them.


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## Coldgrip (Jan 12, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
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"Byproducts of creativity?" Please tell me how his Mary Sue fursona rip-off is creative? His "work" is a collection of power-trips and torture fantasies created so he could get the last word in on situations where he was in the wrong and either had to apologize for being a creep, was kicked out for his behavior or called out on his hypocritical B.S.. He created them so he could escape reality and not have to face the facts that he screwed up. You know, the thing he's been doing for 20+ years?

I can kinda understand wanting to donate necessities, but this isn't a necessity, it's a way to remind Chris of all his old grudges. He doesn't need any more help with that.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> I may be but a gentle old goose, but I do think that those around the Chandler clan are NOT showing themselves to be well-versed in fine etiquette! Madame Goosefeather here could teach them a thing or two about helping out their friends and neighbors. To begin with, I must say that Anna should have immediately shown her support and sympathy for the terrible situation that Chris finds himself in! It is beyond belief that the only comment she has made up until now was to play referee in a silly little argument between Waterface and Joe! Absolutely reprehensible!


I'm gonna be extra firm here only because being too gentle seems to not be effective in preventing the spread, but you really need to shut that gimmick poster shit down right now. Speak like a goddamn person.


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## A-Stump (Jan 12, 2014)

What's with all the people role-playing shit recently in threads. Like characters. Hulk Hogan is cool because he's a hero of the people. Everyone else is just sort of lame and spergy.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

A-Stump said:
			
		

> What's with all the people role-playing shit recently in threads. Like characters. Hulk Hogan is cool because he's a hero of the people. Everyone else is just sort of lame and spergy.


I'll say that when Hulk Hogan contributes ideas and such, he's actually a pretty intelligent poster.

But that doesn't mean every one of us appreciates seeing every thread having a paragraph of "WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN X RUNS WILD ON YOU". It doesn't add anything.


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## Marvin (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> A-Stump said:
> 
> 
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> ...


Yeah, I second this. Sorry, but _any_ gimmick posting is grating as fuck.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

Coldgrip said:
			
		

> "Byproducts of creativity?" Please tell me how his Mary Sue fursona rip-off is creative? His "work" is a collection of power-trips and torture fantasies created so he could get the last word in on situations where he was in the wrong and either had to apologize for being a creep, was kicked out for his behavior or called out on his hypocritical B.S.. He created them so he could escape reality and not have to face the facts that he screwed up. You know, the thing he's been doing for 20+ years?
> 
> I can kinda understand wanting to donate necessities, but this isn't a necessity, it's a way to remind Chris of all his old grudges. He doesn't need any more help with that.



I've discussed the subject to the point of it becoming a circular argument. For someone who has put zero effort into everything else in his life, this was the one thing he gave a crap about. Mary Sue or not, nefarious retributive plotline or not, it's a symbolic gesture and nothing more.


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## Dale Cooper (Jan 12, 2014)

A-Stump said:
			
		

> What's with all the people role-playing shit recently in threads. Like characters. Hulk Hogan is cool because he's a hero of the people. Everyone else is just sort of lame and spergy.


I hope I'm not seen this way. For the record, none of my posts have been "in character" and I don't plan on doing anything like that in my time on this forum. I just...really like Dale, that's all.

But I digress...


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## introman (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
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Sounding like Mrs. Feather Bottom from arrested development is not a good way of getting your ideas across.  [youtube]pdrGVMpzylY[/youtube] .  
Anyway, Anna is only a pity friend. Pity chris but don't do any work to help the guy out. Even waterhouse seems to be a better friend and he wanted to send dunkin donuts coupons. Insurance company is going to throw some bones but it's going to be a rough week or two. I don't think chris was able to take any clothes for him or barb. They're going to need to spend money on a new wardrobe. I don't think the church fundraiser will be successful especially for a guy like Chris. His shirtsize/pant size probably isn't properly stated. I don't think he's a 32inch waist.


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## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> A-Stump said:
> 
> 
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I do apologize, but-- you say WHEN he contributes. I tend to read his posts and hardly find myself able to make out a word which relates to the subject matter, typically.

Ban me if you will, but, Christorical figure or not, it's not fair to play favorites and accept ONE guy who roleplays, just because you happen to like the content of his posts. Who's to say you wouldn't like mine? Why must we sit through paragraphs of "BROTHER...", just to get to the point, and not be allowed to exercise our own sense of self?

Silly boys!



> Sounding like Mrs. Feather Bottom from arrested development is not a good way of getting your ideas across.



Okay, who'd like a banger in the mouth?!


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## LM 697 (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> But that doesn't mean every one of us appreciates seeing every thread having a paragraph of "WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN X RUNS WILD ON YOU". It doesn't add anything.


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## Marvin (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
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Alec's saying he doesn't like that gimmick posting either.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
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> ...









But seriously, what's your deal? also, hulk might not post great stuff like A No.1 but he at least stays on topic.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Ban me if you will, but, Christorical figure or not, it's not fair to play favorites and accept ONE guy who roleplays, just because you happen to like the content of his posts. Who's to say you wouldn't like mine? Why must we sit through paragraphs of "BROTHER...", just to get to the point, and not be allowed to exercise our own sense of self?


That's the point I was making. I _don't_ like the content of his posts when its all character shit. When he talks normal he's fine. If you talk normal you'll be fine.

And no one talked about banning you so cut it out.


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## Phil Ken Sebben (Jan 12, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> Dr.Research said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It's more like a rejected art film than an actual movie. Most of the dialogue is done in a kind of voice over. But one of the most notorious scenes needs to be seen and you can catch it here: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zrolg5uHag[/youtube]

Their reaction, or should I say lack of reaction, to what has just happened is incredibly funny for all the wrong reasons.

Edit: Link. Why U no work?


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## LM 697 (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Ban me if you will, but, Christorical figure or not, it's not fair to play favorites and accept ONE guy who roleplays, just because you happen to like the content of his posts. Who's to say you wouldn't like mine? Why must we sit through paragraphs of "BROTHER...", just to get to the point, and not be allowed to exercise our own sense of self?
> 
> Silly boys!



Maybe you should stick with posting from your other account here.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
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> ...



I just hate when people say "ban me if you want" as low way to make their points.


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## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> Alec's saying he doesn't like that gimmick posting either.



Yes, dear, and Alec is who I happen to be replying to! And who I refer to as a Christorical figure, at that!

If you truly have a problem with me, then perhaps you had best address every other person who plays a character within these threads! From Jeff Goldblum to Hulk Hogan, we all seem to want to take on different identities.

Does it matter how we speak, as long as the content of our messages is true and genuine?

Tsk!



> But seriously, what's your deal? also, hulk might not post great stuff like A No.1 but he at least stays on topic.


[/quote]

I was completely on-topic as well, until I was called out for my "gimmicky" postings! I was discussing Anna's rudeness, in the context of posts within this very thread!


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## Cid Highwind (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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Aristocrat!  It's you!!!


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## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

Captain Cid said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
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Finally, someone who has managed to see through my featherguise!


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Marvin said:
> 
> 
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> ...



I was completely on-topic as well, until I was called out for my "gimmicky" postings! I was discussing Anna's rudeness, in the context of posts within this very thread![/quote]

I don't know dude, but the first thing i read of you, is you ranting because they didn't allow you to rp.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 12, 2014)

Dale Cooper said:
			
		

> I hope I'm not seen this way. For the record, none of my posts have been "in character" and I don't plan on doing anything like that in my time on this forum. I just...really like Dale, that's all.
> 
> But I digress...



From one tv character to another: don't worry about it. A well placed reference to your username inspiration here and there is past cool. But forcing it is kinda really lame. Be yourself and you can hang.


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## Fishkill (Jan 12, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Off topic: Didn't Robocop join and posted like once in the OT board and then disappear?   
Im wondering what Chris will eat, most likely he'll order a shitload of room-service. Or he will use   and giftcards to buy a shitlode of *HUNGRY MAN*.




Holy sodium; found this looking for info on Hungry Man
[youtube]Fq9bMBi_SpM[/youtube]
Since OPL doesn't care about his health, I see why he buys some many. He likes the quantity, taste and ease of it.


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## Himawari (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Does it matter how we speak, as long as the content of our messages is true and genuine?


it does matter when the manner of speaking is annoying as shit.

Anyway, back on topic.

It's a few hours old, but I think I'm firmly on Watermelon's side after this:


----------



## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

Okay, okay, I know when enough's enough. I'll stop, and just keep it to my regular account. Madame Goosefeather used to be known on another CWC board, and I thought that perhaps she'd be appreciated here (as the Hulk is), but if I'm just being annoying, then I'll keep it to normal posts. I apologize, and the mods are, of course, free to delete all of these posts.  I don't mean to cause any trouble or annoyance, was just having a bit of drunken fun.

Sorry to derail the topic, in any case.


----------



## Fishkill (Jan 12, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Why dont they take this to PM?


----------



## Jewelsmakerguy (Jan 12, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I love how Jon's the one who's grammatically incorrect.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> Okay, okay, I know when enough's enough. I'll stop, and just keep it to my regular account. Madame Goosefeather used to be known on another CWC board, and I thought that perhaps she'd be appreciated here (as the Hulk is), but if I'm just being annoying, then I'll keep it to normal posts. I apologize, and the mods are, of course, free to delete all of these posts.  I don't mean to cause any trouble or annoyance, was just having a bit of drunken fun.
> 
> Sorry to derail the topic, in any case.



Having a bit of "drunken fun" in a thread dedicated to how the house of a person burned down .___.


----------



## The Mackers (Jan 12, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Be as that may, in the end... The Ewings will get that oil, boy.


----------



## Madame Goosefeather (Jan 12, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Uh... I'm sorry, but, really? Do you not realize what forum you're on? You know, the one where we all follow the exploits of thirty-something autistic Sonic/Pokemon fan, and laugh at the various updates in his life? You're really going to try and play the holier-than-thou card?

I mean, I know my posts were a bit silly, but come on now.

EDIT: And, of course, it's absolutely horrible for anyone to have their house burn down. I never said that it wasn't. In fact, my "in character" posts were criticizing Anna for not even showing a shred of sympathy regarding this.


----------



## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 12, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> Having a bit of "drunken fun" in a thread dedicated to how the house of a person burned down .___.


Well I don't think that's a fair shot. We aren't exactly obligated to enter a period of mourning or anything.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Madame Goosefeather said:
			
		

> FemboiBunny said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I am not playing any "holier-than-thou card" (whatever it means), but at least i know when to stay on-topic, and how not to be obnoxious.



			
				Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> FemboiBunny said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I never said that we are, but there's a difference between that, and acting "silly" just for the lulz.


----------



## The Mackers (Jan 12, 2014)

The dude apologized


----------



## Spatchmo (Jan 12, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Jon and William's arguing is so terrible I am afraid it may cause a vortex of suck that consumes all of reality, destroying the universe. Seriously, did Jon graduate the same year Chris did? If a 30 year old is going to troll on the internet I would expect it to be a little more interesting than "your mom / you're a virgin" jokes.


----------



## LM 697 (Jan 12, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> but at least i know when to stay on-topic,



Then let's do that.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

Spatchmo said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



And remember, he's a stand-up comedian... too bad that we already saw his best material.


----------



## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> It might. I realize toward the end of Sonichu when Asperchu and BILLY MAYS and Clyde Cash were all running rampant in the storyline the entire production just went straight to hell and it upset Chris a lot, resulting in the end of the series.
> 
> Sonichu as a character and idea predates all of that, though. The first few issues of Sonichu were just a regular story of some guy going through a rough single life. I agree that the troll episodes would probably be in "bad taste", but I feel like giving him an incomplete collection of his work would also be rude in that respect as well. (The collection I am sending to him also features more than just the comics, it has the Wall of Originals and his short stories as well.)
> 
> ...



On the other hand, it would be nice for him, if he felt the need to look back on sonichu for whatever reason, to be able to find it in a place that is not on a website that is poking fun at him.  If he finds the gesture to be offensive, he can simply throw it out, as im sure will happen with stuff the weens may end up sending.  As a maker myself, i horde even my worst of failures, i can understand the desire to have them back.


----------



## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

Spatchmo said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
> 
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I actually feel for William... His attempts to prove that his mother ISN'T the person that Jon claims to be skullfucking are actually adorably innocent. He sounds like a little kid, somehow.


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## Seahorses (Jan 12, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Madame Goosefeather said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Well someone is not too well-versed in fine etiquette.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> I actually feel for William... His attempts to prove that his mother ISN'T the person that Jon claims to be skullfucking are actually adorably innocent. He sounds like a little kid, somehow.



He reminds me of certain fatty that struggled to prove that he wasn't gay whenever a person called him gay.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 12, 2014)

Fishkill said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
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Because the great thing about arguing on Facebook isn't winning the fight, its showing everyone online you did.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
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Except that, in William's case, it's pretty certain that Jon didn't actually happen to be screwing his mom. In Fatty's case... Well, the jury's still out on that one. 

(Nah, I don't really believe that CWC is gay. Mainly, because I think he'd need some genuine experience before he truly understood WHAT he desired sexually.)


----------



## Picklechu (Jan 12, 2014)

introman said:
			
		

> I don't think he's a 32inch waist.



Definitely not. I'm the same height and (if his claimed weight of 202 lbs were correct, which I doubt) 65 lbs lighter, and I wear a 30.


----------



## Grand Number of Pounds (Jan 12, 2014)

My brother has a 32 inch waist and he weighs 140 pounds. Chris weighs much more than that.


----------



## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

Chris didn't start the fire. The coffee was burning so it's Keurig he's spurning.



Spoiler



Sorry guys I know I'm bad but I couldn't help myself...


----------



## Mourning Dove (Jan 12, 2014)

Yeah, that 32 inch measurement is definitely from Chris's middle school days. Or maybe his eyesight is so bad that it's actually 42 inches or something but he reads it wrong.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 12, 2014)

It's possible that he's talking about Barb's pant size. I know "32" isn't a womans size at all, but these are people who get their clothes from goodwill for the most part. I bet you dollars to donuts that barb had more than a few pairs of mens slacks.

Edit: Nevermind. I actually just read the post again and realized that he's saying that they're BOTH size 16s/32.

no.


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> Yeah, that 32 inch measurement is definitely from Chris's middle school days. Or maybe his eyesight is so bad that it's actually 42 inches or something but he reads it wrong.



I literally don't understand how he could fit into anything with a 32 waist. I entertained the thought that maybe that's women's sizes but then that's _big_. Like, passed what-everyone-thinks-Barb-is big. But there's no fuckin' way he's fitting himself into men's 32s without a massive struggle.


----------



## Zim (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Internet fights have a certain way about them. A participant usually can't just be the bigger man and bow out, because to outsiders it doesn't look like they're being the bigger man. It just looks like they got outwitted and have nothing to come back with. Add this to the fact that both of the participants in this case are about the mental age of eight (which is still three years older than Chris usually) and I think we're in for a long haul.



Trying to win internet fights is a gateway drug to lolcowdom. I doubt these guys will hit that level, though.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 12, 2014)

even if Chris CAN squeeze himself into a 32 (i'm guessing that he's more likely in the 36-38 range) it would probably be a better idea to send a size 38 and a decent belt. (if sending stuff is something you're inclined to do.)


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 12, 2014)

Yeah, there's no way Chrissy is a 32.



			
				LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Chris didn't start the fire. The coffee was burning so it's Keurig he's spurning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

dunno if this has been posted (i looked, didn't see it) but this happened :


----------



## BatNapalm (Jan 12, 2014)

Francis York Morgan said:
			
		

> CompyRex said:
> 
> 
> 
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Because Jerkops, inflatable or otherwise, have no authority in Chris's domain.


----------



## The Level Up King (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a156/Glittermew/Actual%20Images/ScreenShot2014-01-12at95956PM_zpsdd381069.png


I hope they hook up when they're better able to comprehend their feelings.


----------



## HerebeDragons (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> dunno if this has been posted (i looked, didn't see it) but this happened :
> 
> http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a156/ ... 0f59d6.png




Who ARE these people? Aside from idiots.


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 12, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Chris didn't start the fire. The coffee was burning so it's Keurig he's spurning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Please someone retool this song for Chris.


----------



## ianbrandonsomething (Jan 12, 2014)

HerebeDragons said:
			
		

> Altissimo said:
> 
> 
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Watermelon's a friend of Anna. Cyclops is a MHS 2000 classmate.


----------



## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If someone rewrites the lyrics for me I might well attempt to record me singing/playing it.


----------



## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 12, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Mourning Dove said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Brother, it would be like the eternal struggle:

[youtube]gUqKNYDeUI8[/youtube]


----------



## RP 520 (Jan 12, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

> Yeah, there's no way Chrissy is a 32.



Size 32 is probably last fitted him when he was a senior in highschool, so this probably fits into his highschool delusion as well as his denial about being a fat-lump.

Example: Chris wearing his clown shirt and same blue-denim pants for nearly a decade after graduating from highschool even when it was painfully obvious neither fitted him anymore.


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## pickleniggo (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Stop it, because I will.


----------



## Doge (Jan 12, 2014)

Not to defend Anna, but it's possible she send Chris a message privately or something or posted something to Chris that wasn't set to public. 

On the topic of Jon and Waterhead's epic throw down, I have to give the' win' to Waterhead. Waterhead is kind of daft but Jon's posts are painful to try and slog through. It might just be personal preference, though. I was never really a fan of people who try be funny by forcing the asshole routine. It always just fell flat with me, though a lot of people seem to like it. Jon's picture comment just kind of seals what kind of cur he is for me. 



			
				Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> Wouldn't it be strange if Kellie were one of the firefighters at Chris's house? Though I highly doubt it since she lives in Midlothian, but...



That would be Les Miserables levels of coincidence, there.


----------



## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 12, 2014)

Mourning Dove said:
			
		

> Yeah, that 32 inch measurement is definitely from Chris's middle school days. Or maybe his eyesight is so bad that it's actually 42 inches or something but he reads it wrong.



Maybe it's a simple typo.


----------



## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 12, 2014)

Waterman:  "My period."

Left yourself wide open, homie.


----------



## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Chris didn't start the fire. The coffee was burning so it's Keurig he's spurning.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Sonichu, Rosechu, he liked china, how 'bout you?
Mary Poppins, Family Guy and Little Big Planet.
Jerry Seinfeld, Excel Saga, Pokemon, friends with Anna,
Ruckersville, Facebook, and a high school Lego set.

Manchester High School, gal pals and Game Place fools,
Don't forget his real loves, Julie, Ivy, Blanca,
Jimmy Hill, Clyde Cash, and Sonichu's News Dash,
Chloe, Kacey, Heather, Jackie, Sarah, Panda.

He didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since CWCvilles been turning
He didn't start the fire
No, he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it


----------



## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

God stop giving waterman and Anna attention. It's pathetic.


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> dunno if this has been posted (i looked, didn't see it) but this happened :
> 
> http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a156/ ... 0f59d6.png



Jon Webber is without a doubt one the most grating, annoying, and unfunny "comedians" I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. His "offensive for the sake of being offensive" routine makes Dane Cook look like Richard Pryor. This entire time I just thought he was a troll that Chris mistakenly friended but apparently he's a former classmate? What a winner, he comes off as a football douche who peaked in high school. He probably obsesses over "the good ol' days" more than Chris does.

Also, WatershipDown keeps saying "ween". I don't think it means what he thinks it means.   

I really wish both of them would stop talking. It's a bit trashy of them to have an open argument over trivial crap on the status update from someone discussing updates about their recent fire accident.


----------



## Seahorses (Jan 12, 2014)

GrandNumberOfPounds said:
			
		

> My brother has a 32 inch waist and he weighs 140 pounds. Chris weighs much more than that.



I'm 5'5 and I weigh around 135. I can confirm that my waist size can go from 29-32.


----------



## Doge (Jan 12, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Jon Webber is without a doubt one the most grating, annoying, and unfunny "comedians" I've ever had the displeasure of viewing. His "offensive for the sake of being offensive" routine makes Dane Cook look like Richard Pryor. This entire time I just thought he was a troll that Chris mistakenly friended but apparently he's a former classmate? What a winner, he comes off as a football douche who peaked in high school. He probably obsesses over "the good ol' days" more than Chris does.



Nailed exactly what I was trying to say.


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## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



later in the week when I have free time I will attempt to record this


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> People complaining that there's no way Chris or his mother are a 32" seem to be forgetting that he's one of (seemingly) very few autistic people to be bad with numbers. The doghouse that weighed five, ten tons. His claims that he was 202 pounds.



It's also worth noting that it might be an average. Despite "waistline" being a pretty standard unit of measurement there's a lot of inconsistent production between brands. If Chris and Barb get clothes at Goodwill "32" may very well be their average among all the brands on the racks there; it's the size that either fits just right or has just a little slack but doesn't require a belt.


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## CatParty (Jan 12, 2014)

Fuck it. Send him 32 inch waist pants. Then wait for him to bitch that trolls sent him the wrong size.


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## BatNapalm (Jan 12, 2014)

Haha that Webber guy is really a comedian? He must suck worse than  ...I wonder how many open mic nights he's been booed out of. Or maybe that Crystal lady from his FB is present at all his shows to yell "You hurt his feelings! I hope you're happy with your big words!" at all the hecklers.

And I'm wondering if Barb's hoard is a total loss. If someone who has been following this closer than I have could give me a ballpark estimate, would you say that maybe 60% of the hoard was destroyed? Less than 40? I only ask because before they get another place, you think she's going to try put the surviving junk in storage even though that would probably cost a lot of money? Considering how attached she is to her garbage...


----------



## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I am pleased with these results.


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Mourning Dove said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Maybe Chris topped out at a 32 waist when he was 12, and Barb has been sewing old 32 tags into the new goodwill pants to spare his feelings...A mother's love knows no bounds, after all.  Sort of like how Roseanne got Darlene to eat her generic "Frankenberries."


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> People complaining that there's no way Chris or his mother are a 32" seem to be forgetting that he's one of (seemingly) very few autistic people to be bad with numbers. The doghouse that weighed five, ten tons. His claims that he was 202 pounds.


We're not complaining, we know he's bad with numbers. That's why it's amusing.


----------



## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

> Batman said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It was never complaining so much as "oh  how could he even think that." Like the "past" Buddha belly.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 12, 2014)

Well... all arguments of typos, Chris's lack of skill with numbers, and off-brand sizes aside, it's still very unlikely that Chris would actually comfortably fit into any new or donated size 32 pants. So if you plan to send him clothes, keep this in mind.


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> That would require effort.



I considered that, but didn't dismiss it because it's something she can do sitting down.  Or perhaps while clutching the needle and thread on her stomach like a sea otter trying to open a clam.


----------



## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Brother, the Hulkster hasn't laughed like that in a long time. Well done


----------



## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> People complaining that there's no way Chris or his mother are a 32" seem to be forgetting that he's one of (seemingly) very few autistic people to be bad with numbers. The doghouse that weighed five, ten tons. His claims that he was 202 pounds.





as a fat fellow myself ive been down to the 200s, at my lowest, at about 5' 10.  I wore a size 36, different people hold their weight differently.  It's probably safe to assume hes in the 34-36 range, sending him pants that are oversized isn't gonna kill him, he can of course, invest in a belt.  Chris has lost weight and his current pants(that he has left) are probably baggier than normal and hes asuming hes down 5 pants sizes without checking to see what size he is at now.  Considering the ammount of time he invested in figuring out what bra would fit him, you'd think hed go to the store and figure out what pants would fit him.  we could of course always just send him sweatpants.


----------



## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

Mary Lee Walsh was a troll, Mike Snyder planned it all,
Megan Schroeder, Mimms and Lucas, big conspiracy.
Liquid Chris joined the game, Alec wanted Chris's fame,
Baby Sonees, pregnant Chris, and My Little Pony.
McDonald's, Burger King, Country Buffet, Applebee's,
Pickles, ducks and tom-toms, British shows and rom-coms.
Guitar hero exercise, Kacey's father hears his lies,
House tour, Bob got mad, Chris freaks out, sorry, dad!

He didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since Cwcville's been turning
He didn't start the fire
No he didn't light it
But he tried to fight it


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Has Chris's height been established?  Quicker to ask rather than try to dig it out, if it has.


----------



## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> House tour, Bob got mad, Chris freaks out, sorry, dad!




HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH brilliant, just brilliant, maybe the best parody line of a song with a chris insertion ever


----------



## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Babysitter, toy room,
Mute button, autism,
Sarah Hammer, closed caption,
Chris gets mainstreamed;
Principal at Nathan Greene
Holds him down, records his screams.
Move to Richmond, home-school,
Leonard Bearstein

_Chris didn’t start the fire
Plugged the coffee urn in and the wires start burnin’
Chris didn’t start the fire
But the Keurig flamed ‘em so he’s going to blame em!_


Aaaand that's as far as I've gotten.


----------



## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

Spoiler






			
				The Knife said:
			
		

> Babysitter, toy room
> Mute button, autism
> Sarah Hammer, closed caption,
> Chris gets mainstreamed;
> ...





			
				snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Mary Lee Walsh was a troll, Mike Snyder planned it all,
> Megan Schroeder, Mimms and Lucas, big conspiracy.
> Liquid Chris joined the game, Alec wanted Chris's fame,
> Baby Sonees, pregnant Chris, and My Little Pony.
> ...






Schadenfreude is hitting maximum levels but I can't stop laughing. That's a great chorus, The Knife.


----------



## Grand Number of Pounds (Jan 12, 2014)

Liquid Chris, blown away
What else do I hafta say?


----------



## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh man, I didn't even see someone else started working on it too.  That's great, Snakesvsplanes!


----------



## The Level Up King (Jan 12, 2014)

I won't be satisfied until I hear a cover from Christian and The Hedgehog Boys.


----------



## Joan Nyan (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> People complaining that there's no way Chris or his mother are a 32" seem to be forgetting that he's one of (seemingly) very few autistic people to be bad with numbers. The doghouse that weighed five, ten tons. His claims that he was 202 pounds.



You don't have to be good with numbers to read the tag on the pants you're wearing.


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## The Level Up King (Jan 12, 2014)

Jon-Nyan said:
			
		

> Batman said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You're implying that Chris has actually made that effort.


----------



## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> I won't be satisfied until I hear a cover from Christian and The Hedgehog Boys.


or at least dethchemist


----------



## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> Jon-Nyan said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


"thre-- thrity...   "


----------



## snakesvsplanes (Jan 12, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yours is fantastic as well!

I guess my general response to these kinds of situations is dark humor. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I want to donate to Chris and Barb-- it was clearly their negligence that resulted in their current circumstances.

Do I feel sorry for them? Of course I do.
Am I going to act like I never treated Chris as a lolcow? Of course not. The first thing he did, as soon as he had internet access, was blame Keurig, for Christ's sake. So, allow me and The Knife to indulge in a bit of sarcastic song-writing!


----------



## LM 697 (Jan 12, 2014)

Jon-Nyan said:
			
		

> Batman said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Maybe Chris thinks the price tag is the size.


----------



## Joan Nyan (Jan 12, 2014)

CompyRex said:
			
		

> Jon-Nyan said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Chris owning a $32 pair of pants.


----------



## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 12, 2014)

3.20 is a fair price at a goodwill, so yeah 32 pants, girl pants sizes are different right?  maybe thats why?


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Jon-Nyan said:
			
		

> Chris owning a $32 pair of pants.



Probably a 64 cent pair marked down on a half-off clothing day at Goodwill.


----------



## Pine Tar (Jan 12, 2014)

I never experienced a housefire, but when I was in high school, my old house did get flooded and a lot of my stuff was destroyed. It really sucked then even though my house wasn't destroyed. I can't imagine what it must be like for Chris.

Basically, Chris is an idiot, but he's our idiot and I hope for the best outcome he can get.


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Reviewing Ruckersvillian's nice pics of the house from this afternoon, it leaves me wondering why all the windows were busted?  One half of the upper window on the right must be intact, surely the heat didn't do that to the other side of the house...Firefighter do it just to have a look?  I wish we knew what the urgency of Barb and Chris's departure was, was it just in the nick of time, or did they have a little time to spare?


----------



## Joan Nyan (Jan 12, 2014)

RagtimeRoastBeefy said:
			
		

> 3.20 is a fair price at a goodwill, so yeah 32 pants, girl pants sizes are different right?  maybe thats why?



You treat this as a legit theory. Pretty sure compys joking.


----------



## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 12, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Reviewing Ruckersvillian's nice pics of the house from this afternoon, it leaves me wondering why all the windows were busted?  One half of the upper window on the right must be intact, surely the heat didn't do that to the other side of the house...Firefighter do it just to have a look?  I wish we knew what the urgency of Barb and Chris's departure was, was it just in the nick of time, or did they have a little time to spare?



Brother, after a fire, it is common for insurance agents to board up the windows to prevent looting


----------



## qld (Jan 12, 2014)

Hulk Hogan said:
			
		

> qld said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Understandable, but someone forgot to cover one of the windows.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 12, 2014)

Looks like he'll be getting a pile of pants that don't fit.


----------



## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

[youtube]t9QSZleWDzY[/youtube]

I'm sorry internet


----------



## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9QSZleWDzY
> 
> I'm sorry internet



Hour Sixty: the board collectively stumbles on the fabled sixth stage of grief, Parody Song


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## cahoots (Jan 12, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> cahoots said:
> 
> 
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> ...



No idea, but if I had to guess I'd say some old schoolmate. She seems to know Chris, but not _know_ him enough to see that not everything he says is TRUE and HONEST.


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## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> Altissimo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I had the idea and it wouldn't go away until I sat down and recorded it I'm sorry ; ;


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## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> The Knife said:
> 
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> ...



Look, let's just accept that we're all going to hell and move forward from there.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> The Knife said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



We were already down the rabbit hole with CWC Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Chu, we can't be expected to be in shock mode forever. Now, sending these to Chris is another story; it's just plain cruel. Please, any weens, do not send these to him


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## Doge (Jan 12, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

> http://i40.tinypic.com/2zf1fm9.png
> 
> Looks like he'll be getting a pile of pants that don't fit.



Wow, I'm actually kind of happy someone he knows is actually putting some effort into helping him.


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## Silver (Jan 12, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> We were already down the rabbit hole with CWC Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Chu, we can't be expected to be in shock mode forever. Now, sending these to Chris is another story; it's just plain cruel. Please, any weens, do not send these to him



If I found out someone has sent this video to Chris I will hunt them down and brutally beat them to death with my guitar.


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## exball (Jan 12, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
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> ...


Urge to send it to Chris rising...


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## The Knife (Jan 12, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> Altissimo said:
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HE WOULD NEVER APPRECIATE OUR GENIUS

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE, MAN.  RESIST THE URGE.


----------



## Dale Cooper (Jan 12, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Reviewing Ruckersvillian's nice pics of the house from this afternoon, it leaves me wondering why all the windows were busted?  One half of the upper window on the right must be intact, surely the heat didn't do that to the other side of the house...Firefighter do it just to have a look?  I wish we knew what the urgency of Barb and Chris's departure was, was it just in the nick of time, or did they have a little time to spare?


I thought the windows were broken because of the force of the fire hose?


----------



## Tiresome (Jan 12, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
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Barb won't fix a single damn meal. There's no way she'd sew for Chris.



			
				Altissimo said:
			
		

> Barbara's Hoard
> 
> 
> I dunno
> ...



In the spirit of pure artistic achievement, content and statement aside, I must doff the chapeau.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

Dale Cooper said:
			
		

> qld said:
> 
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Do they put a fire hose on an unbroken window on the opposite side of the house?


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## Spaghetti_Eater (Jan 13, 2014)

CompyRex said:
			
		

> CHRIS STARTED THE FIRE SO HE COULD LURE KELLIE ANDES TO HIS HOUSE!!! SHE'S THE FIREFIGHTER WHO RECEIVED "MINOR INJURIES"!!!


Damnit, you beat me to it.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9QSZleWDzY
> 
> I'm sorry internet



Needs twerking.


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Dale Cooper said:
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I would think they would've had to drench the entire house because of the horde.  those huge to the ceiling piles of junk could've been harboring embers.


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## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

> http://i40.tinypic.com/2zf1fm9.png
> 
> Looks like he'll be getting a pile of pants that don't fit.


>Chris as Barb's caregiver

hahahaha


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## littlebiscuits (Jan 13, 2014)

He does not have a 32 in waist. When I read that I grabbed a tape measure and strapped that bitch across my scrawny white girl ass. My booty is 37 inches. If Chris's waist is bigger than my ass, someone please kill me. Or sign me up for a gym. Or something. This cannot be.


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> He does not have a 32 in waist. When I read that I grabbed a tape measure and strapped that bitch across my scrawny white girl ass. My booty is 37 inches. If Chris's waist is bigger than my ass, someone please kill me. Or sign me up for a gym. Or something. This cannot be.



I've never worn women's clothes before.  Is a 32 in men's the same as a 32 in women's?  Maybe CWC wants women's pants so he and   can share?  In tomgirl form he does kinda look like an old lady.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> He does not have a 32 in waist. When I read that I grabbed a tape measure and strapped that bitch across my scrawny white girl ass. My booty is 37 inches. If Chris's waist is bigger than my ass, someone please kill me. Or sign me up for a gym. Or something. This cannot be.



Yeah, yeah. Tons of people have posted their measurements on here, regarding this, already. Your "scrawny white girl ass" is redundant. But thanks for the specifics, I guess? I mean, I'm a female, too, and I'm not rushing to post my own dimensions here on the forum. Have a little bit of class, girly.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> He does not have a 32 in waist. When I read that I grabbed a tape measure and strapped that bitch across my scrawny white girl ass. My booty is 37 inches. If Chris's waist is bigger than my ass, someone please kill me. Or sign me up for a gym. Or something. This cannot be.



Isn't 'waist' like measured at the navel?  Chris wears his pants below it, you can see the indentation where the button is, it causes an "uplift" right below his navel (and right above something else, in that classic pic).  He's not measuring standardly, but he sure as hell still isn't a "32."


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## littlebiscuits (Jan 13, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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 :arrow:  haterrrrs

Didn't null ban you for having a sock puppet account?


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## Silver (Jan 13, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> I mean, I'm a female, too, and I'm not rushing to post my own dimensions here on the forum. Have a little bit of class, girly.



... why are people not allowed to do what they want? o.o


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
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Maybe Null unbanned?


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## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

Men's clothes are usually measured fairly accurately, based on actual... y'know, measurements. Women's clothing is just random sizing, usually going by stuff like 0-16 in stores... with 0 meaning absolutely nothing. A 0 in one brand could be a 6 in another. A 32 would be a goddamn circus tent, I doubt it exists.

I don't know one way or another but I would guess Chris has muscleless scrawny chicken legs while carrying all the fat on his gut. So... his pants would be resting under his gut. They're probably uncomfortable and too small, but he could wear them. Also women's asses are generally way bigger than men's legs so it's not really a fair comparison.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

Damn.  Tired of the drama.      Wish Chris(sy) was here to explain male vs. female clothing sizes so as to spare the drama.  We need a TomGirl now, more than ever!


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## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Damn.  Tired of the drama.      Wish Chris(sy) was here to explain male vs. female clothing sizes so as to spare the drama.  We need a TomGirl now, more than ever!


Haha, like he knows what fits him.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> qld said:
> 
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Fuck man, he, if anybody knows CWC-ville sizes...and that's what counts.  Not EU, not American.


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## Joan Nyan (Jan 13, 2014)

Can we all just agree that Chris won't be satisfied no matter what size pants we send him?


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

Jon-Nyan said:
			
		

> Can we all just agree that Chris won't be satisfied no matter what size pants we send him?



What if we commissioned a hand made sonichu Mumu?


----------



## Silver (Jan 13, 2014)

Found this in Kacey Call 16:



> Kacey: Do you have your measurements then?
> Chris: [Pause] I don't have them written down, but I know I'm lo- I know- I know that there- I have taken a measurements uh, the other day... um... shoot, what was it? I think it was like, uh... 4- I think was like, uh, 38, 40 waist. And then I measured myself today, uh... yeah well- lost about, uh, half an inch, so it's like 37.5 to 39.5, yeah- or wait no, yeah it was 37.5.
> Kacey: Well, Chris, I've seen you before, you don't look like you have a 37 inch waist, uh, where did you... where-
> Chris: Uh I-I, well... well, maybe not the-
> ...


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

Iamthatis said:
			
		

> Jon-Nyan said:
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Oh, so damn bad we don't have the time machine so he could make a guest appearance on Married With Children with it.  That would be so sweet for him to be one of Al's customers.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> Found this in Kacey Call 16:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Doesn't work. Chris is fatter now.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 13, 2014)

Been reading the thread for the last couple of days and I just have to put in my thoughts.

Donating to Chris? Personally I think it's a bad idea (cash-wise) I'm not going to try to stop others from donating. Like several have said, donation and helping others is not about recognition, and I agree on that, but ultimately I think sending cash is a bad idea. Chris and Barb already have incomes (SSDI/SS/pension, whatever) and pooling their money would garner them a decent two bedroom apartment, possibly even three, this is Ruckers/Charlottesville, not Manhattan. Barh would start filling it up with another hoard, so even if right now they need money for essentials, I personally think that not giving them any cash and making them use their own money for essentials will hold off the hoard-building (and vidya-buying) at least for a month or two. If I lived ion their area, I would be willing to donate food and clothes and even drive it over to them, but giving them cash is a bad idea, IMHO.

As for the insurance and the house, I've seen valid arguments for whether or not the insurance will pay for repairs, and I think it's too early to tell if it will go either way. Marvin says there is a mortgage on the house, personally I think the house would be better bulldozed since it was damaged long before the fire and insurance money, if they do get any besides what is being used for the hotel and what not, should be used for a mobile home, much cheaper than building a real house (and therefore, a less valuable home for Charb to ruin, and once Barb goes on to the Hoard in the sky, a mobile home would be much easier for Chris to maintain) Again, this is just my opinion, we will have to wait an see what happens with insurance.

As for Sonichu, I think he is truly dead. I'm not exactly sure what Chris is feeling about the fact that the fire destroyed his comics and stuff, but I really doubt that he will be like a phoenix, risen from the ashes of 14BC. Nothing Chris does now really requires any imagination, he used very, very little before and now that is gone, vidya has sucked up his brain, vidya seems to be his only hobby now since that is all he does, he doesn't read books, he doesn't do sports, he doesn't do crafts, or anything besides mashing buttons on his vidya. We don't know exactly how much Chris was able to salvage from his room, I can imagine him trying to gather as much as he can that isn't water damaged or fire-damaged, but I sincerely doubt he will ever, ever, ever draw again.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 13, 2014)

> Maybe Null unbanned?



Hi! I WAS unbanned. I DID have a sock puppet account, and I'll admit to it, freely; I was Madame Goosefeather. I do promise I wasn't trying to be some kind of ween, however, I was merely attempting to resurrect an old joke character I'd played on a previous CWC forum. In any case, I apologize for that, I truly didn't mean any harm.


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## Arkangel (Jan 13, 2014)

I think even in Chris' "humbled" state of being burned out of his home, he just can't bring himself to admit that he's fat and unhealthy (if it wasn't enough just to look at himself) out of misplaced sense of pride. That, or he genuinely doesn't know his own clothes size, which is a slim (no pun intended) possibility.


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## A-Stump (Jan 13, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9QSZleWDzY
> 
> I'm sorry internet


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

Ziltoid said:
			
		

> I think even in Chris' "humbled" state of being burned out of his home, he just can't bring himself to admit that he's fat and unhealthy (if it wasn't enough just to look at himself) out of misplaced sense of pride. That, or he genuinely doesn't know his own clothes size, which is a slim (no pun intended) possibility.




Well comic CWC was rather thin, maybe during this time of crisis he has reverted to cwcville.


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> He does not have a 32 in waist. When I read that I grabbed a tape measure and strapped that bitch across my scrawny white girl ass. My booty is 37 inches. If Chris's waist is bigger than my ass, someone please kill me. Or sign me up for a gym. Or something. This cannot be.



The real tragedy of all of this to me is that 37 inches doesn't sound like that scrawny to me.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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Oh, if those inches were only transferable!  Too bad they'd still be bent.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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Yeahhh. One of the reasons I complained about her post. I do apologize, but I don't know any girl who would consider a 37 inch ass to be "scrawny". It just seems like a cry for attention.


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## littlebiscuits (Jan 13, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> TheWhitestKnight said:
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y'all be jelly. My ass is glorious.

 Also this is a thread about Chris's house fire. Just fyi.


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 13, 2014)




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## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> y'all be jelly. My ass is glorious.
> 
> Also this is a thread about Chris's house fire. Just fyi.


Not that I mind much either way, but have you realised that you were the one who decided to bring up your 37 inch scrawny white girl ass in the first place?


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## littlebiscuits (Jan 13, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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yo. everyone calm your tits. I was joking. jeeze. I was freaking out because my ass is bigger than Chris's waist. 

/thread.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

y'all be jelly. My ass is glorious.

 Also this is a thread about Chris's house fire. Just fyi.[/quote]

I thought this was a discussion about his pant size.  Damn.


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 13, 2014)

Back on topic, what do you think Chris is doing with his day? I mean assuming all of his vidya was damaged I have no clue what he does with his day.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

So much autism in this thread. Thanks snakesvsplanes.


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## littlebiscuits (Jan 13, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> http://truegif.com/pictures/gif/1153.gif
> 
> Back on topic, what do you think Chris is doing with his day? I mean assuming all of his vidya was damaged I have no clue what he does with his day.




thank you. 

I imagine his next few days will include clean up and recovery of lost items. Possibly interactions with insurance agents. And lots of stress.


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> dogprince said:
> 
> 
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Wait, what did you just say about tits, again?


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## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

It's funny that this argument between two women over butt sizes is still more testosterone-filled than the antics between Waterhead and Oneeyed on Facebook.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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For fucks sake.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 13, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> So much autism in this thread. Thanks snakesvsplanes.



Oi! No bawtism here, I was just remarking on what seemed like a bit of attention-whoring. To reverse it-- "Oh, GEE. Chris said he was six inches long... I just measured my studly cock here, and it happens to be EIGHT inches long. Guys, does that mean my dick is FAT?!"

*grin* Sorry. Just sayin'.


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## libertyoftheaether (Jan 13, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> Back on topic, what do you think Chris is doing with his day? I mean assuming all of his vidya was damaged I have no clue what he does with his day.



He still has his 3DS. I'm guessing that he'll play around with that until his life is back to business as usual.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 13, 2014)

Iamthatis said:
			
		

> Ziltoid said:
> 
> 
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In the animated Sonichu series, half of CWCville was in flames because Mayor Chris replaced the town's water supply with Orange Fanta.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> exball said:
> 
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You turned it into attention whoring. Good job.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> TheWhitestKnight said:
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'
Well, FOR THE RECORD, what were Chris's damned chest measurements?


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## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

I know Chris has his 3DS, but he's only been mentioned to have been seen on Miiverse, which just comes attached with the system and isn't really much of a game at all. I wonder if he has any games left?

I rather imagine he's just kinda stumbling around right now being led by Barb. We're all just desperate for news, aren't we?


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 13, 2014)




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## For The Internet (Jan 13, 2014)

Yeah, 37 isn't scrawny, it's pretty average. I say that as a girl who is of a similar size, so no shade. Why would you freak out if Chris's waist was smaller than your ass? The two are not the same thing. I don't know what my ass measures but I know my hips and bust are several inches bigger than 32 and so they should be, because I am female. You can't compare one part of the male body to female anatomy unless you're looking for reassurance you're not a fattie. which I very much doubt you'd be silly enough to do on this forum. If you want to go feel better about yourself, look at photos of Pixyteri and then go to her lolcow thread here and read the lies she tells about her measurements. I'm sure your scrawny ass is smaller than one of her thighs.

I got the feeling Chris meant he was a female 32, and by that he meant he's roughly a size 16 rather than being a literal size 32. He seems to wear ladies jeans.

I'm actually kind of surprised he didn't specifically TELL people to give him women's pants. He just sort of hinted at it by saying he and his mother needed pants and were the same size.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> Yeah, 37 isn't scrawny, it's pretty average. I say that as a girl who is of a similar size, so no shade. Why would you freak out if Chris's waist was smaller than your ass? The two are not the same thing. I don't know what my ass measures but I know my hips and busts are several inches bigger than 32 and so they should be, because I am female. You can't compare one part of the male body to female anatomy unless you're looking for reassurance you're not a fattie. which I very much doubt you'd be silly enough to do on this forum. If you want to go feel better about yourself, look at photos of Pixyteri and then go to her lolcow thread here and read the lies she tells about her measurements. I'm sure your scrawny ass is smaller than one of her thighs.
> 
> I got the feeling Chris meant he was a female 32, and by that he meant he's roughly a size 16 rather than being a literal size 32. He seems to wear ladies jeans.


O noez. Now ur an attention hore. :x


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 13, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> I know Chris has his 3DS, but he's only been mentioned to have been seen on Miiverse, which just comes attached with the system and isn't really much of a game at all. I wonder if he has any games left?
> 
> I rather imagine he's just kinda stumbling around right now being led by Barb. We're all just desperate for news, aren't we?


Even if they are gone, the 3DS has fully digital titles available. If I recall correctly normal retail titles are on there too. Give him access to a credit card and I'm sure he'll buy vidya for the 3DS, at least. Chris would have to do a lot of work to smuggle in a PS4 that Barb would probably lose her shit over. With digital games it's much easier for him to get away with.


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## Surtur (Jan 13, 2014)

Can we stay on topic?


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> thank you.
> 
> I imagine his next few days will include clean up and recovery of lost items. Possibly interactions with insurance agents. And lots of stress.


Well I can't see this that goin well. Particularly the insurance agent stuff. I just can't see him having the attention span to deal with them. We've also seen him deal with instructions (ie the trial). I don't think everything will go to shit but I assume he'll fuck several things up.



			
				libertyoftheaether said:
			
		

> DrChristianTroy said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Must have missed that. Thanks for letting me know.


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## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

Hey, you all remember that time when that guy's house caught on fire?


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> Hey, you all remember that time when that guy's house caught on fire?


Wat!    So crazy!


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> I know Chris has his 3DS, but he's only been mentioned to have been seen on Miiverse, which just comes attached with the system and isn't really much of a game at all. I wonder if he has any games left?



Is it confirmed that it's really him on Miiverse, though?


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## For The Internet (Jan 13, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> O noez. Now ur an attention hore. :x



 

I am very curious to see what happens as far as cleanup. I suspect the church Chris shunned might step up and do some volunteer cleanup or something. That or, more likely, the house will sit untouched for months and months.


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## Coldgrip (Jan 13, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
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> 
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Considering how true that is, do you think he'll try to get his mom or Rocky to handle it instead?


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 13, 2014)

Coldgrip said:
			
		

> DrChristianTroy said:
> 
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Probably. Let the "grown ups" handle things and such. This brings into question how well Barb would do. I have no clue how she is but I imagine she's batshit crazy and very confrontational. 

Yeah they better let Rocky handle things.


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## For The Internet (Jan 13, 2014)

Coldgrip said:
			
		

> DrChristianTroy said:
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There's no doubt Barb will handle this. Chris didn't handle his own court prep, there's no way he's handling this. Besides, the house is in Barb's name and the insurance would be too presumably.

ETA: I forgot the part about Rocky. It's possible she'll help, but I think she can only really attend meetings with Barb, she can't actually handle things directly. She might organise a cleanup or some kind of church support. It's hard to predict since Chris recently basically told the church and Rocky they were useless.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

How much of your activity does the 3DS share? I find it odd he isn't playing Pokemon since you'd think the cartidge would still be in the DS.


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## qld (Jan 13, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> Hey, you all remember that time when that guy's house caught on fire?



Nah, why don't you fill me in on it?


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> How much of your activity does the 3DS share? I find it odd he isn't playing Pokemon since you'd think the cartidge would still be in the DS.


He kept running into UGLY MALES and quit.


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## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> How much of your activity does the 3DS share? I find it odd he isn't playing Pokemon since you'd think the cartidge would still be in the DS.


It shows whether or not you're online/when you were last online, what game you're currently playing, and your favorite title, if you choose to do so.

He might've had some other game in the 3DS during the fire and had the rest of his collection burn up or no games at all. Or maybe he's too in shock/Barb won't let him play games.


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## For The Internet (Jan 13, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> How much of your activity does the 3DS share? I find it odd he isn't playing Pokemon since you'd think the cartidge would still be in the DS.



Based on my own, not much. If you streetpass someone (by physically being near another person with a switched-on 3DS) you can see their nickname, location, Mii, catchphrase and the last game they played. There might be more sophisticated online stuff but I don't have any friends added on Pokemon so I'm not sure.


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> exball said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Does anyone else find it odd that he made attempt to get back in the churches good graces days before the fire. Perhaps this is the MANOS(paw) of godbearjesus at work?


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> Based on my own, not much. If you streetpass someone (by physically being near another person with a switched-on 3DS) you can see their nickname, location, Mii, catchphrase and the last game they played. There might be more sophisticated online stuff but I don't have any friends added on Pokemon so I'm not sure.



Chris went from a dead end street to a hotel. Maybe he's more interested in the Miiverse thing because he's actually streetpassing people from the safety of his current bedroom? I don't know how that stuff works.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> exball said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I think it's going to be the latter. After the fire investigation is done, it's likely going to be condemned with everything in it since it will be declared unsafe to even enter, let alone occupy.

Treasure all those interior videos Chris made, folks. All that stuff you see there is now gone forever.


Yes, even the boobie pillow.


----------



## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

Wait, okay.

So there's been no indication that Chris has been on Miiverse in the past few days, which is basically the Nintendo social network, not a game.  What we have evidence of him playing is Streetpass Plaza, which comes with two free mini-games (Puzzle Swap and Find Mii).  There are four additional games that can be purchased.

Streetpass Plaza, with just the two basic games, isn't much of a time waster.  If you have the four paid games, though (and Chris probably did shell out the cash for them at some point since their launch, just because he could  ), it can eat up a whole bunch more time.  But in order to play these games a lot - paid or free - you need to be physically nearby other 3DS systems and/or walk 1000+ steps a day, neither of which I'd suspect of Chris.  Even if he had his other 3DS with him you can only streetpass another 3DS system like once every several hours or so.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, just sperging I guess.


----------



## dogprince (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> Wait, okay.
> 
> So there's been no indication that Chris has been on Miiverse in the past few days, which is basically the Nintendo social network, not a game.


Woops, sorry, I mixed up the two.


----------



## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 13, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Yes, even the boobie pillow.




  

Anything but the boob pillow!


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



CAG wanted the boob pillow, and Bob's clothes.


----------



## Kyoosand (Jan 13, 2014)

Iamthatis said:
			
		

> For The Internet said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Several events taking place all within a  short amount of time. He tries to get back into the church's good graces, whines about escaping that cage Barb has him in, AND he makes another house tour video, making sure to point out all of the piles of combustible filth.

Some may dismiss the idea, but there's still that bit of suspicion that Chris intentionally set this blaze. It has that 70's detective show episode feel to it that Chris would certainly have watched on MEtv.

Yeah, I know the talk about all his possessions, etc.. Still, was even willing to get rid of his porn collection to get some money. If he could do something, anything to force Barb's hand into letting Chris stay somewhere else, he'd jump at it, even if he had to destroy 14 BLC out from under them.

Since Chris was the one who discovered the fire, it would be stupid for the investigators to not look into that possibility.


----------



## For The Internet (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> ut in order to play these games a lot - paid or free - you need to be physically nearby other 3DS systems and/or walk 1000+ steps a day, neither of which I'd suspect of Chris.  Even if he had his other 3DS with him you can only streetpass another 3DS system like once every several hours or so.
> 
> I'm not sure where I'm going with this, just sperging I guess.



Seriously, I think those step counters are broken. Just going to the shops and the bank I can rack up 1000 steps and I have a chronic pain issue in my knee that prevents me from walking a whole lot. I think Chris could definitely do it.


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Or he could just shake it a little.


----------



## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 13, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> Cute Anime Girl said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Bob was Swagtastic.


----------



## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

For The Internet said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


haha, yeah, I was mostly joking about that.  I can get 1000 steps a day at school just going from my dorm room to class and back, and that's all of like half a block walked.  He could probably get 1000 steps walking to the ice machine.

Still, you can't spend all day playing Streetpass Plaza with just 10 play coins a day.



			
				exball said:
			
		

> Or he could just shake it a little.


the most likely situation, I think.


----------



## A-Stump (Jan 13, 2014)

And I thought I was a bad forum participant. Hitler is potatoes to what these new guys have done.


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

A-Stump said:
			
		

> And I thought I was a bad forum participant. Hitler is potatoes to what these new guys have done.



Hi A-stump!


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> Wait, okay.
> 
> So there's been no indication that Chris has been on Miiverse in the past few days, which is basically the Nintendo social network, not a game.  What we have evidence of him playing is Streetpass Plaza, which comes with two free mini-games (Puzzle Swap and Find Mii).  There are four additional games that can be purchased.
> 
> ...



Thanks for explaining. That is a really weird system.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 13, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Several events taking place all within a  short amount of time. He tries to get back into the church's good graces, whines about escaping that cage Barb has him in, AND he makes another house tour video, making sure to point out all of the piles of combustible filth.
> 
> Some may dismiss the idea, but there's still that bit of suspicion that Chris intentionally set this blaze. It has that 70's detective show episode feel to it that Chris would certainly have watched on MEtv.
> 
> ...





Spoiler


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 13, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Some may dismiss the idea, but there's still that bit of suspicion that Chris intentionally set this blaze. It has that 70's detective show episode feel to it that Chris would certainly have watched on MEtv.
> 
> Yeah, I know the talk about all his possessions, etc.. Still, was even willing to get rid of his porn collection to get some money. If he could do something, anything to force Barb's hand into letting Chris stay somewhere else, he'd jump at it, even if he had to destroy 14 BLC out from under them.
> 
> Since Chris was the one who discovered the fire, it would be stupid for the investigators to not look into that possibility.


If Chris had intentionally set that fire he'd have already been taken into custody for it. He's not at all capable enough to intentionally set a fire that would leave an investigator scratching their heads for even a second.

Edit: and even if there were no direct physical evidence, Chris would have screwed himself the second someone asked him "so what happened here?" with a story that was so ridiculous that nobody in their right mind would have bought it. 


tl;dr Chris is both very incompetent and a _really_ bad liar. two traits that tend to get people busted immediately.


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Coldgrip said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Prepare the   's


----------



## A-Stump (Jan 13, 2014)

I don't feel like parsing quotes but Kyoosand; That was dumb and you should feel bad for how dumb it was.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Several events taking place all within a  short amount of time. He tries to get back into the church's good graces, whines about escaping that cage Barb has him in, AND he makes another house tour video, making sure to point out all of the piles of combustible filth.
> 
> Some may dismiss the idea, but there's still that bit of suspicion that Chris intentionally set this blaze. It has that 70's detective show episode feel to it that Chris would certainly have watched on MEtv.
> 
> ...



Chris shits himself and thought a photographic memory meant being able to remember photos really well.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 13, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Fixed that for you.


----------



## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

I will be filming a documentary on the TRUTH behind the house fire, and Chris' involvement.  It will be titled "Loose C-Quarters."


----------



## QI 541 (Jan 13, 2014)

Does Chris even know how to start a fire intentionally?  I doubt he knows how to use matches, and his incompetent fingers can't work a lighter.


----------



## A-Stump (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> raymond said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Nor his incontinence


----------



## GFYS (Jan 13, 2014)

I dunno, guys, I kinda like Jon.  I sincerely liked Kingdom of the Crystal Skull too, so what do I know?  

Now would be a shitty time for their last working vehicle to break down.  I think that almost guarantees we'll be seeing an angry rant about evil mechanics any day now.

I can't find who mentioned it earlier, but *Chris' room does have two sets of windows* - one facing Branchland Ct., and one facing northeast.  You just can't see the second set of windows because of the crap in the way.  You can see hints of it in some of the photos, where light shines through the cards hung in the way.

The kitchen and part of the upstairs bathroom are directly above the downstairs bathroom.  Chris' room would be at least partially protected by the _"music room"_ and the wall of the upstairs bathroom.  However, it probably still was badly damaged, judging by the scorching on the northeast wall.  Even if fire didn't char everything (still a possibility), smoke and water surely rendered most everything worthless...  Well, _more_ worthless.  They probably sprayed water in every window, to ensure the fire couldn't spread.

I think it's been implied a few times, but Keurig's aren't low-end machines.  They aren't as overpriced as they used to be, but they still aren't something you commonly find at Salvation Army or Goodwill.  They also don't run at peak for more than a few seconds, to heat up and distribute the water through the K-cups.  Most of the time, they aren't drawing much, and aren't generally a hazard - unless installed on a substandard or deteriorating electrical circuit/outlet, damaged by the user, or being left in an inappropriate environment.  All of those sound pretty likely.

I know it was discussed, but did anyone with experience on the subject matter ever conclude the possibility 14BC had *aluminum wiring*?  Many modern appliances seem to spit a shitton of sparks, on old residential AA-1350 circuits.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

Chris is actually neurotypical and was in it for the long con. He's going to release a video of him and a very much alive Bob jetskiing.

Ya'all just been trolled stupid.


----------



## NiggoFiggo (Jan 13, 2014)

Dont know if this been said, but im glad chris actually knew how to handle himself in that situation.


----------



## Bernd Lauert (Jan 13, 2014)

littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> y'all be jelly. My ass is glorious.



Post pics nao.

Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8

I am the pot of hot coffee and I bring you
Fire - you plugged me in wrong
Fire - now the hoard is all gone! 
That was your house!

You raged hard but you never learned 
All that anger made you burn
And your mind of atsimu
made you crap your panties too.
Now you went and burnt your bed
Still there's nó trace of regret,
Oh no, oh no, It was the coffee urn!

Fire - in the morning at three
Fire - to gut 14BC.
I'll feel you burn!

You've been dressing like a little girl,
were a shut-in in your little world.
No clue in your tiny mind,
gal-pals treat you so unkind
Now 's the time for java juice
which will set your bowels loose

Shit, man! It's gonna burn! 
Aaaahahahahahahahaha..
Fire! We're discussing your plight!
Fire! trying to figure what's right!
Fire! 100 pages are 'sperged!
Fire! Are you feeling the burn?
Will you ever learn?


----------



## Spaulding (Jan 13, 2014)

GFYS said:
			
		

> I can't find who mentioned it earlier, but *Chris' room does have two sets of windows* - one facing Branchland Ct., and one facing northeast.  You just can't see the second set of windows because of the crap in the way.  You can see hints of it in some of the photos, where light shines through the cards hung in the way.



You mean this thing?







The caption at the CWCki reads: "Northeastern wall, near the north corner. A sheet of his homemade Pokémon cards is here. It was previously believed that this covered a window, but the new Tomgirl Pictures have shown that this is not the case."

At least in this picture the light seems to be reflecting off the cards, not shining through them.


----------



## garbageraider (Jan 13, 2014)

Any guesses as to how long the house is going to sit there until it's either repaired, completely abandoned, or demolished? My guess is at least until the fire investigation is completed, and the insurance claim is settled. So, several weeks to several months, perhaps?


----------



## InaudibleSlink (Jan 13, 2014)

Well if the fire destroyed the autism papers then Chris is cured.I think we all owe fire a thank you


----------



## Venusaur (Jan 13, 2014)

Man, I was looking at Chris' facebook and saw Waterhead's reply to the New Year's post:






I know he was trying to cheer Chris up but now, in the context of what happened, it's making me feel really sad for Chris.

"Cheer up Chris! You never know what's just around the corner- HOUSE FIRE."


----------



## Silver (Jan 13, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> littlebiscuits said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*sniff* I SMELL LYRICS
TIME FOR ALTISSIMO TO GO TO WORK
(LATER IN THE WEEK)

(no but seriously I had a request to do Keurig! High Voltage and then there's CWC Didn't Start the Fire and now this.)


----------



## JFKdestroyer (Jan 13, 2014)

I guess I stand corrected on the window thing.

Someone asked about the windows. I've seen many house fires in my day and from what I understand, there are a few reasons Chris' windows would be gone. The simplest is ventilation. Busting out windows allows the smoke to escape. I believe this also reduces the risk of a fire reaching flashover. Another is that Chris' mattress may have been thrown out to keep it from becoming a giant flaming pile while firefighters were still in the house. The living room window was likely taken out so they could toss Horde onto the lawn.

I'm not an expert in firefighting techniques, these are just things I've seen done.


----------



## Venusaur (Jan 13, 2014)

Would this be the bathroom where the fire originated?






If it is, I have no idea where they could have placed/plugged the coffee maker. Unless it was on the floor, next to that heap of stuff in the background...


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

Venusaur said:
			
		

> Would this be the bathroom where the fire originated?
> 
> http://i43.tinypic.com/25jii3r.jpg
> 
> If it is, I have no idea where they could have placed/plugged the coffee maker. Unless it was on the floor, next to that heap of stuff in the background...




not a fire hazard at all.....


----------



## HG 400 (Jan 13, 2014)

Regarding Jon. When you base all your "comedy" on being shamelessly offensive, you've given yourself a really easy way to refuse to acknowledge how painfully unfunny you are ; you can simply decide that anyone who doesn't like your 'humour' is just a butthurt easily-offended baby who's crying about how eeevil and offensive you are. From that image macro he posted, I'm guessing he's clinging desperately to the idea that anyone who doesn't think he's funny is just bawing at how shockingly "edgy" he is.

But seriously though, he's about as offensive as a fart at a funeral. Embarrassing, badly-timed and maybe slightly distasteful. Something that'll raise an eyebrow or two at the time, but nobody will ever care about two minutes later. He's just painfully, painfully unfunny, and he just publicly lost an epic internet tard-off to a weird autistic manchild. While in his 30's. It's possible that maybe Chris isn't the biggest loser to come out of MHC.

Anyone got any links to videos of his stand-up, btw?


----------



## homerbeoulve (Jan 13, 2014)

Let's just wait for the results of the investigation ok?


----------



## Picklechu (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Good thing he isn't close enough to this one to have alienated her. She seems like a hell of a woman.



I wonder if she's boyfriend-free?


----------



## Doge (Jan 13, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Well, FOR THE RECORD, what were Chris's damned chest measurements?



Joking aside, you do bring up a good point. Chris was apparently measured for a 43" bust. 



			
				For The Internet said:
			
		

> Seriously, I think those step counters are broken. Just going to the shops and the bank I can rack up 1000 steps and I have a chronic pain issue in my knee that prevents me from walking a whole lot. I think Chris could definitely do it.



Chris did carry pokewalkers on his belt at Fridays After Five. 1000 steps really isn't a long distance.


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Venusaur said:
			
		

> Man, I was looking at Chris' facebook and saw Waterhead's reply to the New Year's post:
> 
> http://i39.tinypic.com/2evcmxd.jpg
> 
> ...


So waterhead started the fire. It all makes sense now.


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

Spaulding said:
			
		

> GFYS said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm watching old Chris-in-his-room videos and I'm pretty sure his room only has ONE window, not two. One side of the room has that door that Bob came into to yell at him, on that wall is his pokemon cards (and couch) and there's no way there's a window on that wall because a window would just show you what was in the room/bathroom next to it. Touching that wall is the wall that would touch the exterior wall but it has no windows that I can see, it's the wall where Chris's TV and PS3 was. The wall across from the TV (also near the door) is where his bed was for a little while, and where a desk was, this desk was used when he made that one video where there was another guy who Chris "turned into" via magic potion. I do not recall seeing a window there at all. 

The ONLY wall I've ever seen have a window was the wall that's left. I'm not sure what this wall had on it besides the window, but I'm pretty sure it's the only window he had. It's entirely possible that he covered a window with paper/curtain/shit/etc so it doesn't look like it's there, but when you look at videos where there's clearly daylight, there isn't 2 windows worth of daylight, there's barely even 1.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> Spaulding said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




one set of two windows


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> one set of two windows
> 
> http://sonichu.com/w/images/8/89/Panorama.jpg




I don't understand panoramics because they make me feel high as fuck. I feel like that's one window because there's extremely similar stuff in those frames, except one window has a unit in it and the other one does. I NEED A PANORAMIC EXPERT PLEASE! Is it two windows on two different walls or two windows on one wall?


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> One side of the room has that door that Bob came into to yell at him


That's all that door was ever used for you know.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




simple, one window had an air conditioner unit, the other did not.


----------



## ___ (Jan 13, 2014)

Venusaur said:
			
		

> Would this be the bathroom where the fire originated?
> 
> http://i43.tinypic.com/25jii3r.jpg



if you can call that a bathroom.  Probably only had the Keurig machine there because of the nearby water source and available outlet.


Also hoarders love using bathtubs for storage for some reason.


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


But it is two windows on one wall or two different windows on two different walls?


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

two windows, one wall


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Chris' house catches fire and you guys sperg about the placement of his windows?


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> two windows, one wall





			
				exball said:
			
		

> Chris' house catches fire and you guys sperg about the placement of his windows?



The window(s) placement is important so people can see exactly where the fire was compared to his room. Some people are claiming that the his room was right ontop of the fire and so when the roof blew it took out his room. If CatParty is right, then Chris's room was on the OTHER side of the fire and wasn't near the blown roof. If his room was on the other side and his legos melted some, then it's not unlikely that the rooms in between are crispy and charred and there's a possibility that some of his toys are safe from fire damage (though smoke and water damage are guaranteed at this time).


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 13, 2014)

Dynastia said:
			
		

> Regarding Jon. When you base all your "comedy" on being shamelessly offensive, you've given yourself a really easy way to refuse to acknowledge how painfully unfunny you are ; you can simply decide that anyone who doesn't like your 'humour' is just a butthurt easily-offended baby who's crying about how eeevil and offensive you are. From that image macro he posted, I'm guessing he's clinging desperately to the idea that anyone who doesn't think he's funny is just bawing at how shockingly "edgy" he is.
> 
> But seriously though, he's about as offensive as a fart at a funeral. Embarrassing, badly-timed and maybe slightly distasteful. Something that'll raise an eyebrow or two at the time, but nobody will ever care about two minutes later. He's just painfully, painfully unfunny, and he just publicly lost an epic internet tard-off to a weird autistic manchild. While in his 30's. It's possible that maybe Chris isn't the biggest loser to come out of MHC.
> 
> Anyone got any links to videos of his stand-up, btw?



People are often shouted down here when they say shit like "at least I'm not as bad as Chris", because Chris is a really awful standard to measure yourself against. But when you measure this Jon guy against Chris, he somehow manages to come off as considerably worse in terms of tact and self delusion in how important he feels he is in the grand scheme of things. I find him as amusing as having a paper cut on my knob-end, and about as much use as a cum stain on a quilt.

Congratulations Jon, in a conversation featuring Christian Weston Chandler, Anna Mclerran, and Elliot Waterhead you've somehow managed to come off as the most idiotic and pointless person in it. That would be almost impressive if it wasn't so pathetic.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 13, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Dynastia said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I still think that he wasn't as pathetic and useless as anna was, but yeah, he sure was more stupid than chris and watermelon.


----------



## Enigma (Jan 13, 2014)

Dynastia said:
			
		

> Regarding Jon. When you base all your "comedy" on being shamelessly offensive, you've given yourself a really easy way to refuse to acknowledge how painfully unfunny you are ; you can simply decide that anyone who doesn't like your 'humour' is just a butthurt easily-offended baby who's crying about how eeevil and offensive you are. From that image macro he posted, I'm guessing he's clinging desperately to the idea that anyone who doesn't think he's funny is just bawing at how shockingly "edgy" he is.
> 
> But seriously though, he's about as offensive as a fart at a funeral. Embarrassing, badly-timed and maybe slightly distasteful. Something that'll raise an eyebrow or two at the time, but nobody will ever care about two minutes later. He's just painfully, painfully unfunny, and he just publicly lost an epic internet tard-off to a weird autistic manchild. While in his 30's. It's possible that maybe Chris isn't the biggest loser to come out of MHC.
> 
> Anyone got any links to videos of his stand-up, btw?



I couldn't find any videos of his stand-up, but I did find a couple of his comedy events that happened ~a week apart from each other on Facebook. Note the hilariously drastic decline of attendees. 

https://www.facebook.com/events/310372059069598

This event, scheduled for February 20th of last year, was presumably his debut at an amateur night at the Richmond Funny Bone--which, in his words, is THE go-to comedy club in Richmond. Ironically, when I was reading a review about the place on Yelp, a person noted that comedians have a tendency to shit on Richmond during their routines, to which they get a lot of laughs. Overall, the Funny Bone seems to have a reputation for booking mediocre to semi-decent comedians, having shitty service, and overpriced food/drinks. 

I should also mention that Jon had to go to a PUBLIC LIBRARY, as well as utilize his friend (?) Lisa, in order to print out peoples' tickets for the event. Oh, and then Jon expected that his attendees would want to bother driving out to a bar a few weeks in advance so they could pick up their tickets and have a chance to meet him. Just...what? You would think The Funny Bone would have some kind of online ticket booking system, even for the amateur events, where guests could print out their tickets from home. Or, at the very least, Jon could've requested that his tickets were made available for guests at the door. 

Seriously, the whole thing just reeks of a combination of terrible logistics and USI. 

https://www.facebook.com/events/163007847183656/

The second event, which happened shortly after on February 28th, was posted directly on his comedian Facebook page, The One Eyed Guy: https://www.facebook.com/TheOneEyedGuy/

Notable about the event was that there were only two guests who RSVP'ed for the event. Two. And one was a maybe. What happened since the 20th, Jon? Couldn't keep your audience howling at brilliant lines like, "Ya know they say karma is a bitch? My question is if that's so....why isn't her ass in the kitchen?!?!" 

I'm starting to think that either a) this guy is so terminally unoriginal and unfunny that he has to drawn upon a dried up reservoir of crude jokes about women and breasts in order to get some cheap laughs, or b) this guy is a misogynistic douchewad posing as a piss-poor comedian who can't _really_ be misogynistic because he's OH SO FUNNY--and if you don't like his jokes, then you're just an easily offended pussy who lacks a sense of humor. 

There's a reason why your Facebook page only has 173 likes, Jon. Think about it.


----------



## trueandhonestfan (Jan 13, 2014)

MayMay said:
			
		

> ... hm, it doesn't really look that much worse than it did pre-fire.
> 
> And I got a sick chuckle out of the thread being set up by He Sets Me On Fire. =P The only way it could have been funnier is if the username was a quote about Chris Hoping the Game Place burned to the ground (along with Snyder). I... I'm not sure if I should feel bad about that.


I doubt the fire was that serious, I really think that it has more smoke or water damage than actual damage from the fire itself.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

Enigma said:
			
		

> Dynastia said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




hi william


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

trueandhonestfan said:
			
		

> MayMay said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I was starting to think the same thing, but then everyone's saying the "roof blew" and that's some serious thing (because it means the fire got so hot and so "full" in the house that it had to find an escaped and blew the roof); I don't know how bad it really is because I don't know much about house fires. I think the area at the fire's start and above are probably completely charred, everything else is probably more heat, smoke, and water damage.


----------



## bradsternum (Jan 13, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Dynastia said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Everything Dynastia said. This guy wants to be Andrew Dice Clay... and that's sad. "I'm just tellin' it like it is!" 
This conversation is probably the most notice he'll ever get.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 13, 2014)

Venusaur said:
			
		

> Would this be the bathroom where the fire originated?
> 
> http://i43.tinypic.com/25jii3r.jpg
> 
> If it is, I have no idea where they could have placed/plugged the coffee maker. Unless it was on the floor, next to that heap of stuff in the background...



Rewatching the first house tour and I'm confident that's the bathroom where the fire started.


----------



## Smutley (Jan 13, 2014)

Dynastia said:
			
		

> Regarding Jon. When you base all your "comedy" on being shamelessly offensive, you've given yourself a really easy way to refuse to acknowledge how painfully unfunny you are ; you can simply decide that anyone who doesn't like your 'humour' is just a butthurt easily-offended baby who's crying about how eeevil and offensive you are. From that image macro he posted, I'm guessing he's clinging desperately to the idea that anyone who doesn't think he's funny is just bawing at how shockingly "edgy" he is.
> 
> But seriously though, he's about as offensive as a fart at a funeral. Embarrassing, badly-timed and maybe slightly distasteful. Something that'll raise an eyebrow or two at the time, but nobody will ever care about two minutes later. He's just painfully, painfully unfunny, and he just publicly lost an epic internet tard-off to a weird autistic manchild. While in his 30's. It's possible that maybe Chris isn't the biggest loser to come out of MHC.
> 
> Anyone got any links to videos of his stand-up, btw?



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_so ... D=11497069

Ask and ye shall receive.

This is him "blasting" some "tranny ass bitch" for internet crimes.


----------



## Enigma (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Enigma said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



CatParty, I'm rather amused you think I'm Waterhead and/or trying to 'prove' that I'm better than Jon or something. I'm just a random lurker/Chris follower on this board who kept seeing posts about Jon and felt the need to say something.


----------



## Thetan (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Fuck it. Send him 32 inch waist pants. Then wait for him to bitch that trolls sent him the wrong size.



How about these?   








			
				Jon-Nyan said:
			
		

> Batman said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He can't read the size tag with his Buddha belly in the way.


----------



## HG 400 (Jan 13, 2014)

Smutley said:
			
		

> Ask and ye shall receive.
> 
> This is him "blasting" some "tranny ass bitch" for internet crimes.



Holy shit. Is he talking in ebonics just for that 'bit', or does he _always_ talk like that?

And somebody needs to send watermelon all the info you and enigma just dug up on him, so we can see him get destroyed if there's ever a tardmatch round 2.


----------



## Kyoosand (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> two windows, one wall
> http://i.imgur.com/yAVQN5Q.jpg



But wrong side of the house. Chris' room has a window-mounted AC, remember?


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




yeah sorry couldn't get a clear shot of his side, but as i remember in pictures of the full house, both sides mirror each other


----------



## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 13, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> Jon-Nyan said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




If the size thing is going to be such an issue, I suggest that we get one pair of pants for Chris and Barb.  Now, let me make myself clear:  I don't mean one pair each, I mean exactly one pair to be worn by the two of them.  Chris could wear the left leg, and Barb could wear the right, and they could both walk down the streets of Charlottesville, throwing circus peanuts at random passerby and rhythmically screaming "DONNIE AND MARIEEE!  DONNIE AND MARIEEE!" at the top of their lungs 'til they go hoarse.   

That's how my grandparents met and got married.  I'm sure it'll work out much the same way for them.


----------



## Shadow Fox (Jan 13, 2014)

Should we start a separate thread somewhere for Jon Webb?  I'm sure there's more dirt to be dug up on him.



			
				exball said:
			
		

> So waterhead started the fire. It all makes sense now.



He needs to change his name to FIREhead amirite???


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



But there's no air conditioning unit in that double window. I'm sure there are two windows on the left hand upper room in that picture, just one seems to be darkened for some reason.




here we see the double window with air conditioning.Unless any of the bedrooms in 14 Branchland court faced out the back of the house?
Sadly, evidence seems to point towards the fire going straight through Chris' room


----------



## Kyoosand (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It's OK. The house is pretty vague on the outside. It was that AC unit that helped to zero in on what _was_ his bedroom.

And I'll modify my opinion that it's 99% certain that the house cannot be entered let alone occupied again. Even in that 1% where a trained professional fire investigator may be able to go in, he'll find nothing but a charred void where Chris' room once was.

R.I.P. Bewbzie.


----------



## HG 400 (Jan 13, 2014)

Shadow Fox said:
			
		

> Should we start a separate thread somewhere for Jon Webb?  I'm sure there's more dirt to be dug up on him.



Done, and sorry for derailing the thread.


----------



## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

Facing the front of Chris's house, Chris's bedroom is on the front top left, closest to the burned part of the roof. You can tell because he turns left after going up the stairs to the second floor to get there in the house tours.

If you're walking up the stairs to the top floor, you're facing the same way as someone facing the front of the house to take the picture from outside. Your left is their left.

The top front right is the living room blocked off by the couches they never moved in and in the back is the kitchen that's so full of shit they have to plug appliances in at random places in the house to enjoy their delicious, gourmet, single-serve espresso coffee and shit.


----------



## Solbrud (Jan 13, 2014)

Chris' room is on the upper left hand side as observed from the street. See the A/C? The other other possibility is that his room is in the same corner on the back side of the house.

When you watch the tour video and compare what you see to the location of the door in his room, it looks like his room should be on the back side and upper left. But, in this photo you see the A/C right where it should be, such indicating that his room is on the front. 

Considering those two options and the evidence, I'd make a confident guess that his room is on the front, upper-left.


----------



## Enigma (Jan 13, 2014)

Dynastia said:
			
		

> Shadow Fox said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I definitely agree, and I realize it wasn't in the best of taste to try and do something of an expose on a Chris-related thread. With that said, I think it's really shitty that Jon made such an ass out of himself to the point where people felt the need to bring him into the picture in the first place. Consider me done as well.


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## Thetan (Jan 13, 2014)

He Sets Me On Fire said:
			
		

> Jon-Nyan said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



There are two Old Navys in the Charlottesville area. A gift certificate from there might be a good option. Their clothing is decent quality, and reasonably priced. They also carry a wide range of sizes, and they don't stock vidya or other useless shit Chris would be tempted to spend any donated money on.


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## Christory101 (Jan 13, 2014)

I know its tragic this happened. That being said I do see kind of a silver lining in this mess.

I think Barb's scabies will be cured in a few months time. The source of the scabies ( the hoard) is now eleminated, and likely all the bugs along with it.

I also believe this housing limbo that Chris n' Barb find themselves in will force both of them to be more productive and proactive, and not give into their slothful natures as much?

I just hope Barb doesn't start hoarding silverware, towels, shampoo bottles, and complimentary mints at the hotel they're staying at.... or is that too much to hope for?


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## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> I think Barb's scabies will be cured in a few months time. The source of the scabies ( the hoard) is now eleminated, and likely all the bugs along with it.



I hadn't thought of that, but as I do think about it, I'm skeptical. Lice, for example, requires special washings of the body and the areas you inhabit. I'm thinking that while the scabies in the home may be gone, the scabies on her person is not which means that the scabies on her person will become scabies in the hotel and potentially scabies in wherever they live after that.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 13, 2014)

Ugh, them spreading scabies in the hotel and the people who get the hotel room after them getting scabies... this scenario makes me shudder. I know this is how bedbugs spread.


----------



## HarryHowler (Jan 13, 2014)

Solbrud said:
			
		

> Chris' room is on the upper left hand side as observed from the street. See the A/C? The other other possibility is that his room is in the same corner on the back side of the house.
> 
> When you watch the tour video and compare what you see to the location of the door in his room, it looks like his room should be on the back side and upper left. But, in this photo you see the A/C right where it should be, such indicating that his room is on the front.
> 
> Considering those two options and the evidence, I'd make a confident guess that his room is on the front, upper-left.


So, chances are his room really was burnt to a cinder in the fire and his 3DS probably survived because it was somewhere else when the fire started? That sucks.

Not really surprising though - if Chris was being forced to nursemaid Barb all the time, it makes sense that he'd have a portable console around that part of the house. Either that or he badgered Barb into stopping off somewhere where he could pick up a new 3DS/2DS on their way to the hotel (which admittedly doesn't seem that likely, but somehow I could see him doing that).


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> Ugh, them spreading scabies in the hotel and the people who get the hotel room after them getting scabies... this scenario makes me shudder. I know this is how bedbugs spread.




Don't remind me about the bedbugs. Weren't the bedbugs around before the Lumberjack handed in his axe? IIRC everywhere but Chris' room.

I feel sorry for the cleaner who has to go in once they're done with the hotel room.


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## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't we perfectly aware that Chris rarely got to stay in his own room these days? That Barb had him in her room, spooning with him and changing her bandages.



We weren't 100% sure, a lot of it was theory. We knew that he claimed his mom and him spooned and shared a bed on occasion (no clue how often), we knew he washed her holey buttocks, but overall, we have/had no idea how much time he actually spends with his mom outside his room. I could picture Barb wanting him around 24/7 because she's lonely, but I can also see Chris hiding from her in his room. Either way, even if he was with Barb 24/7, he still had a lot of his shit in his room, which is now probably gone.


----------



## Bernd Lauert (Jan 13, 2014)

HarryHowler said:
			
		

> Solbrud said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I concur.

We also know that the fire started in the downstairs bathroom - which is on the 'back side' of the house. Directly above it are the kitchen and the mouldy bathroom CWC once tried to clean. 

Floor plans (marked in green are Chris' paths through the house on the tour video)
Downstairs, where the fire started 





Upstairs, where CWC dwelled





This makes me think that Chris' room was not directly above the initial fire, just on the same side of the house. That's the side now covered by a tarp, so we don't know the exact scope of the roof damage.


----------



## Cid Highwind (Jan 13, 2014)

Looking at those photos of Chris' room, it's surprising how many VHS tapes he had.  Unlike his mother, Chris actually did an ok job of packing all that crap into his room in a fairly organized manner.  Chris' bedroom would have been a utopia to many early 90s preteen geeky males.


----------



## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Captain Cid said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Utopias become dystopias pretty damn quick if you're not paying attention. One year you're living the high life with $1,000 of vidya and toys crammed into your bedroom, next thing you know you're 30 years old and haven't left.


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## PickleTron7000 (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> Utopias become dystopias pretty damn quick if you're not paying attention. One year you're living the high life with $1,000 of vidya and toys crammed into your bedroom, next thing you know you're 30 years old and haven't left.



That is the single most depressing thing that I have read all year.


----------



## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

All this talk of the schematics of 14 branchland ct has me thinking one thing.  I never realized how big their house was.  It's crazy that 2 people hoarded themselves into one room when they had enough space for a family of 5.  Also OPL's room was probably very close to the fire if it was next to the bathroom.  When multi story houses have multiple bathrooms the 2nd floor bathroom is probably over the downstairs one.  It makes it easier for them to run the waste water pipes.  So if the fire originated in the downstairs  bathroom it probably went up through the ventilation system and blew out the roof.  Also you can note how the siding is separating from the house on that side.  that means that area got really hot.  OPL's room is probably gone.


----------



## ___ (Jan 13, 2014)

I wonder how it feels for them to be living in a hotel.  It's been many years since either one of them lived in a place that was relatively clean and clutter-free.

There is a hoarder in my family, though not nearly as bad.  The reason she came a hoarder was because her home caught fire in the early 80s and she lost everything.  It'll be interesting to see how Barb's hoarding tendencies change now.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't we perfectly aware that Chris rarely got to stay in his own room these days? That Barb had him in her room, spooning with him and changing her bandages.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I wouldn't be surprised if the Chandlers did bring a few bedbugs with them to the hotel room. As I understand, once you have bedbugs in your house, they're very hard to get rid of and can be carried from one house to another in clothing and etc. Low-end motels can be a prime spot to get bugs.

I'm wondering how Chris is enjoying the more positive aspects of his hotel stay. Like, being able to move through the hotel room and hallways without having to navigate trash, having a clean bathroom without mold on the walls, a clean bed with full bed-things (sheets, pillow, etc instead of the couch) and so on.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 13, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> HarryHowler said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I thought there were two bedrooms on the upper floor, a master bedroom which Chris never entered into the House Tour video. There was a earlier diagram made by someone else in the first Fire thread, which showed two bedrooms at this side of the house, the bathroom in the middle, and living/kitchen at the other side of the house. I say this house has three bedrooms, not two (two upper, one lower, which was Bob's music room?) because usually a house this size with two bathrooms would usually have 3 or 4 bedrooms.

Of course, mapping the house would be difficult with the fact that Chris' path was rather limited, and the hoard blocking off much of the visible aspects of the house, which would explain why the two diagrams are so different in some parts.


----------



## DustyR (Jan 13, 2014)

As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house? Obviously it has caused great emotional distress and trauma to him. Over the period of years, that is going to seriously wear down a person, maybe even giving him PTSD. If all that had never gone down, he have grown into a happier, chirpier person and found it within himself to address the hoard. That is assuming a lot, yes, and I realize that the answer is probably he would not have addressed the hoard. But it is certainly within the realm of possibility. If the past several years had been happy and pleasant times for him, living blithely in a made up world of video games, he might have grown bored and sought out more real life friends or found a job - just for something to do.

Another thing to consider is that Barb and Bob were/are infirm elders, and dealing with all the backlash from the trolling may have zapped the last bits of their energy. Maybe Snorlax would have found it within herself to domineer and demand more strenuously that Chris help clean the house. He realize she was sleeping quite a bit, so she would not have done it personally, but she could have found it within herself to demand it of him. Obviously the hoard wasn't always there. It wasn't in the high school photos. It is not a lifelong pattern. It partly has to do with declining health and weakness. With all that has happened with trolls and the resulting shenanigans from Chris, they may not have had the energy, and eventually it reached the point that they were simply out of energy and too infirm. They gave it up, deciding it was an impossible situation--and it was.

Chris also could have advanced and decided to get a job or actually find a girlfriend, and he might not have been up at 2am making coffee. I think either is fairly unlikely, but with the Christory haunting him, he has made it abundantly clear he thinks it is impossible to get a job because of his record. (His criminal record is rather inconsequential, and his Internet nonsense would have little to no bearing on the entry level, service jobs he would likely try to apply for, and they would not comb google for those. But regardless, without Christory, he would have made the effort eventually and probably succeeded.)  He, thus, may not have been leading a life of such failure, making coffee at 2am.

Ultimately, I do think collectively we should shoulder some of the blame, as while we did not directly contribute, we certainly helped exacerbate the circumstances in that household.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house? Obviously it has caused great emotional distress and trauma to him. Over the period of years, that is going to seriously wear down a person, maybe even giving him PTSD. If all that had never gone down, he have grown into a happier, chirpier person and found it within himself to address the hoard. That is assuming a lot, yes, and I realize that the answer is probably he would not have addressed the hoard. But it is certainly within the realm of possibility. If the past several years had been happy and pleasant times for him, living blithely in a made up world of video games, he might have grown bored and sought out more real life friends or found a job - just for something to do.
> 
> Another thing to consider is that Barb and Bob were/are infirm elders, and dealing with all the backlash from the trolling may have zapped the last bits of their energy. Maybe Snorlax would have found it within herself to domineer and demand more strenuously that Chris help clean the house. He realize she was sleeping quite a bit, so she would not have done it personally, but she could have found it within herself to demand it of him. Obviously the hoard wasn't always there. It wasn't in the high school photos. It is not a lifelong pattern. It partly has to do with declining health and weakness. With all that has happened with trolls and the resulting shenanigans from Chris, they may not have had the energy, and eventually it reached the point that they were simply out of energy and too infirm. They gave it up, deciding it was an impossible situation--and it was.
> 
> ...





nope


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 13, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> I wouldn't be surprised if the Chandlers did bring a few bedbugs with them to the hotel room. As I understand, once you have bedbugs in your house, they're very hard to get rid of and can be carried from one house to another in clothing and etc. Low-end motels can be a prime spot to get bugs.
> 
> I'm wondering how Chris is enjoying the more positive aspects of his hotel stay. Like, being able to move through the hotel room and hallways without having to navigate trash, having a clean bathroom without mold on the walls, a clean bed with full bed-things (sheets, pillow, etc instead of the couch) and so on.



Well. i think that chris said that barb had scabies, now, scabies are really easy to get rid off, bedbugs on the other hand, those are really fucking hard to get rid off, even for a non-hoarder person that lives alone and doesn't have too many furniture and stuff, and of course, they are almost impossible to get rid off for a hoarder...


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

___ said:
			
		

> I wonder how it feels for them to be living in a hotel.  It's been many years since either one of them lived in a place that was relatively clean and clutter-free.
> 
> There is a hoarder in my family, though not nearly as bad.  The reason she came a hoarder was because her home caught fire in the early 80s and she lost everything.  It'll be interesting to see how Barb's hoarding tendencies change now.



I bet   is going crazy Hoarders don't like clean environments they don't feel safe.  I wonder if she's gone dumpster diving to make the room more homey?


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

How wrong is it that I've been considering sending down my old Xbox since Chris's vidya is now up in smoke?

(No, seriously, that's the only functional old console I've got >_>)


----------



## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Green Nidoking said:
			
		

> How wrong is it that I've been considering sending down my old Xbox since Chris's vidya is now up in smoke?
> 
> (No, seriously, that's the only functional old console I've got >_>)



Giving Chris access to a console sounds like a poor idea.


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house?



Uh, nope and nope. 

Chris is responsible for his own life, and if anything the fact that his house was noted as being a hoarder house online should have given him more motivation to clean it.

As well, that hoard was a hoard well before the CWCki existed and Bob died.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

[/quote]





			
				DustyR said:
			
		

> TL;didn't fully quote


When I saw his 25th birthday video, and even when I watch it again now, Chris hasn't changed since he was in high school. Not at 20, not at 25, not now. He's gotten wary of others but he almost never has seemed to go "I made a mistake there, I should learn from it and try not to repeat it." I doubt Chris would be happily married, employed full time and living with his darling daughter Crystal if he never started putting videos on the internet.


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## Resetchu (Jan 13, 2014)

Iamthatis said:
			
		

> ___ said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


at some point i mentioned that these kind of events tend to worse the hoarder necessity for stuff, but of course this varies with the level of mental dissorder of the person, some people keep buying things that they don't need, but have no problem in getting rid of the stuff, others can't stop bringing junk to the house in hopes of using it some day, and in the worst scenarios they just can't get rid of anything, not that they do not want, they can't


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 13, 2014)

Can someone tell me what's up with the innernet site of the Ruckersville Fire Dept.? Their page http://www.ruckersvillefire.org/ has been inaccessible for days now. 
Alright, you guys, who did this? Fess up now.

Reason why I'm asking: afaik, the fire report is a public document. I think it strange that we have >100 pages of fire talk and no fire report.


----------



## ___ (Jan 13, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> Can someone tell me what's up with the innernet site of the Ruckersville Fire Dept.? Their page http://www.ruckersvillefire.org/ has been inaccessible for days now.
> Alright, you guys, who did this? Fess up now.
> 
> Reason why I'm asking: afaik, the fire report is a public document. I think it strange that we have >100 pages of fire talk and no fire report.



Their site is up, just go directly, don't click a null refer link on this site.  That service is down.  Their site hasn't been updated for a long time though


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## HarryHowler (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house? Obviously it has caused great emotional distress and trauma to him.


Do I think Chris used "the trolls are causing me STRESS!" as an excuse not to attempt to clean up the house or otherwise do anything that would help him make any progress in his life? Mmm, probably, yes.

Do I think things would have turned out largely the same anyway, and Chris would have just found something else to blame it on? Oh, HELL yeah!


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## DustyR (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> TL;didn't fully quote


When I saw his 25th birthday video, and even when I watch it again now, Chris hasn't changed since he was in high school. Not at 20, not at 25, not now. He's gotten wary of others but he almost never has seemed to go "I made a mistake there, I should learn from it and try not to repeat it." I doubt Chris would be happily married, employed full time and living with his darling daughter Crystal if he never started putting videos on the internet.[/quote]

That is highly unlikely. What is more likely, Mean Gene, is that Chris could have had some very low level, entry level job - grocery store bagger, library page, service food worker - doing 10-20 hours a week. He might have had a couple or a few legit flings. Things might have gone differently with the Wallflower if it wasn't for Christory. He might have found some real friends to give him support. 

I know the hoard existed before the Cwcki, but listen to some of the phone audios, where Barb asks that he help clean and explains how little energy she has. Did that happen? Obviously not. If he was in a better place emotionally, she might have strong armed him. Or if there was some weird, ugly girl vaguely in his life, Barb might have strong-armed her to help get Chris to help with the hoard, or she might have done it on her own.

Do not underestimate the power of a person's past haunting them and the trauma that all this has had on both Chris and his elderly parents. I'm not seeing we caused it. That's ridiculous. But we probably do share in the culpability somewhat.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house? Obviously it has caused great emotional distress and trauma to him. Over the period of years, that is going to seriously wear down a person, maybe even giving him PTSD. If all that had never gone down, he have grown into a happier, chirpier person and found it within himself to address the hoard. That is assuming a lot, yes, and I realize that the answer is probably he would not have addressed the hoard. But it is certainly within the realm of possibility. If the past several years had been happy and pleasant times for him, living blithely in a made up world of video games, he might have grown bored and sought out more real life friends or found a job - just for something to do.
> 
> Another thing to consider is that Barb and Bob were/are infirm elders, and dealing with all the backlash from the trolling may have zapped the last bits of their energy. Maybe Snorlax would have found it within herself to domineer and demand more strenuously that Chris help clean the house. He realize she was sleeping quite a bit, so she would not have done it personally, but she could have found it within herself to demand it of him. Obviously the hoard wasn't always there. It wasn't in the high school photos. It is not a lifelong pattern. It partly has to do with declining health and weakness. With all that has happened with trolls and the resulting shenanigans from Chris, they may not have had the energy, and eventually it reached the point that they were simply out of energy and too infirm. They gave it up, deciding it was an impossible situation--and it was.
> 
> ...



I know this is a forum for discussion, but come on. There's no way Chris was going to galvanise himself into action and improve his lot without the trolling, he'd be less cynical certainly, but that's about it. The worst Christorical events had absolutely no involvement by the trolls. Megan, thegameplace, and PVCC etc.

Chris is miserable because his stupidly unrealistic life expectations have not, and never will come true. He was up at two in the morning making coffee because he's a prototypical unemployed waster with no routine to adhere to.


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> I doubt Chris would be happily married, employed full time and living with his darling daughter Crystal if he never started putting videos on the internet.



Honestly, if he'd turned his internet notoriety to fame just by acknowledging his faults and improving, his internet popularity would have _greatly _increased his chances of that.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 13, 2014)

The fire was an accident due to Chris' own stupidity, plain and simple.


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> That is highly unlikely. What is more likely, Mean Gene, is that Chris could have had some very low level, entry level job - grocery store bagger, library page, service food worker - doing 10-20 hours a week. He might have had a couple or a few legit flings. Things might have gone differently with the Wallflower if it wasn't for Christory. He might have found some real friends to give him support.
> 
> I know the hoard existed before the Cwcki, but listen to some of the phone audios, where Barb asks that he help clean and explains how little energy she has. Did that happen? Obviously not. If he was in a better place emotionally, she might have strong armed him. Or if there was some weird, ugly girl vaguely in his life, Barb might have strong-armed her to help get Chris to help with the hoard, or she might have done it on her own.
> 
> Do not underestimate the power of a person's past haunting them and the trauma that all this has had on both Chris and his elderly parents. I'm not seeing we caused it. That's ridiculous. But we probably do share in the culpability somewhat.



The only point I can concede on is the Wallflower. I don't think it's likely, though. Didn't Chris boast online that they'd "shared DNA"? He clearly learned nothing from Megan and would have made the same mistakes.

Chris wouldn't have had a job. He's always been comfortable with his tugboat and wouldn't have had any more motivation to change that than he ended up having. I also find it very unlikely that he would have had any flings. His own standards have always been rather high in comparison to what he offers. Not to be a dick about it, but a girl interested in a fling has better choices. Anyone Chris would get involved with would have to be a friend first, simply because people who know you better are more likely to overlook your flaws, and Chris isn't noted to be the best of friends either.

The hoard would _not _have been cleaned. Seriously, have you ever interacted with a hoarder? Even from my minimal experience, I can assure you that Chris getting that place clean would only have happened over Barb's dead body. Literally.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 13, 2014)

BatNapalm said:
			
		

> Francis York Morgan said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Not to mention we all know Chris's philosophy on law enforcement is fuck tha police!


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> DustyR said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That is highly unlikely. What is more likely, Mean Gene, is that Chris could have had some very low level, entry level job - grocery store bagger, library page, service food worker - doing 10-20 hours a week. He might have had a couple or a few legit flings. Things might have gone differently with the Wallflower if it wasn't for Christory. He might have found some real friends to give him support. 

I know the hoard existed before the Cwcki, but listen to some of the phone audios, where Barb asks that he help clean and explains how little energy she has. Did that happen? Obviously not. If he was in a better place emotionally, she might have strong armed him. Or if there was some weird, ugly girl vaguely in his life, Barb might have strong-armed her to help get Chris to help with the hoard, or she might have done it on her own.

Do not underestimate the power of a person's past haunting them and the trauma that all this has had on both Chris and his elderly parents. I'm not seeing we caused it. That's ridiculous. But we probably do share in the culpability somewhat.[/quote]

1- While I think Chris could have held a job pre-Christory he fucked that up by getting fired at Wendy's. Bob putting him on the tugboat sealed his fate job-wise. As far as social interaction, while I think the trolls have hurt him it isn't like he was doing great in the first place. If not for the trolls he would have been sitting with the love sign not talking to people. Any harm they did have to do with current day Chris (I'd argue this is Bob dying to current day) not "Prime" Chris.

2- Gotta go thumbs down on a Dusty Rhodes gimmick. You don't really write like him (barring the occasional reference) and if you were to it would get annoying crazy quick. I also don't think of Dusty is as iconic of a wrestler as Hulk Hogan. Sure he was big in the south with NWA/WCW but that isn't national IMO. I say cut your losses and drop the thing and posting regularly. 

Gimmick posting is a fine art and I just don't think you have a handle on it. I hope I didn't offend.


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

> As far as social interaction, while I think the trolls have hurt him it isn't like he was doing great in the first place.



Frankly, if he's now convinced that potential Gal-Pals are trolls in disguise, I'd say that's an improvement over treating them like he did Megan.


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## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> That is highly unlikely. What is more likely, Mean Gene, is that Chris could have had some very low level, entry level job - grocery store bagger, library page, service food worker - doing 10-20 hours a week. He might have had a couple or a few legit flings. Things might have gone differently with the Wallflower if it wasn't for Christory. He might have found some real friends to give him support.



We've had the opportunity to observe Christian in a troll-free environment, and he's basically sperged it up every time.  

Christian was unemployable even before the trolling and the archiving began.  As you'll recall, Christian was briefly employed at Wendy's, and from what little we can infer, he scared the younger customers away with his Donald Duck impression.  Fast food is as entry level as any industry can get since it employs high school students, so if Christian couldn't even maintain the Wendy's job, then his skill set is definitely somewhere below the high school level.  No surprises here, but Christian is basically a kid trapped in a fat smelly tranny's body.  

Like his employment prospects, Christian's romantic prospects were zero from the start.  This is the guy who drove Megan away because he couldn't stop pawing at her with his fat greasy MANOS, and thought an Attraction Sign was a great idea.

One could argue that if Christian were to keep hurtling along on his original trajectory free from troll interference, that he'd have the energy to keep plugging away at it and he'd eventually learn from his failures.  If there's one thing we know about Christian however, it's that he can never acknowledge that he's wrong, and everybody who disagrees with him hates autistics.  This frame of mind prevents Christian from ever learning from his mistakes and emerging as a better person.  Case in point: MLW calling him out on his Attraction Sign.

TL;DR - Christian's life was ruined before the trolls got there.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 13, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

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You _have_ to do CWC didn't start the fire (but  Keurig! High Voltage would be awesome too).


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## Solbrud (Jan 13, 2014)

Not to be rude, but I think we're all plainly aware that Dusty's speculation about how well Chris might be doing without trolls is way off. Not sure why everyone is writing a wall of text to tell him he's wrong. I didn't even think anyone would bother replying to it


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Solbrud said:
			
		

> Not to be rude, but I think we're all plainly aware that Dusty's speculation about how well Chris might be doing without trolls is way off. Not sure why everyone is writing a wall of text to tell him he's wrong. I didn't even think anyone would bother replying to it



Because everyone here is autistic and needs to write angry walls of text.


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## HarryHowler (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> That is highly unlikely. What is more likely, Mean Gene, is that Chris could have had some very low level, entry level job - grocery store bagger, library page, service food worker - doing 10-20 hours a week.


Bob actually encouraged Chris _not_ to get a job, and told him he was better off just sticking around the house and collecting his   . Whether Bob did that out of concern that Chris would injure or kill himself in any even remotely dangerous workplace or because he thought it was better to leech off of the government is up for debate (though I actually suspect the former, given Bob was a Republican), but Chris would never have gotten a job regardless of troll involvement.

That and he thought he was a self-employed comic artist and part-time Pokemon gym leader anyway...


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

If 14 BC becomes abandoned (somewhat possible) then I predict it will become like a Mecca to the weens.  And not in the sense that they'll face it to shout   five times a day, but a place they visit once in their life if they can


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house?


That's like saying Megan is responsible for the fire because she wouldn't sleep with him 7 years ago.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house? Obviously it has caused great emotional distress and trauma to him. Over the period of years, that is going to seriously wear down a person, maybe even giving him PTSD. If all that had never gone down, he have grown into a happier, chirpier person and found it within himself to address the hoard. That is assuming a lot, yes, and I realize that the answer is probably he would not have addressed the hoard. But it is certainly within the realm of possibility. If the past several years had been happy and pleasant times for him, living blithely in a made up world of video games, he might have grown bored and sought out more real life friends or found a job - just for something to do.
> 
> Another thing to consider is that Barb and Bob were/are infirm elders, and dealing with all the backlash from the trolling may have zapped the last bits of their energy. Maybe Snorlax would have found it within herself to domineer and demand more strenuously that Chris help clean the house. He realize she was sleeping quite a bit, so she would not have done it personally, but she could have found it within herself to demand it of him. Obviously the hoard wasn't always there. It wasn't in the high school photos. It is not a lifelong pattern. It partly has to do with declining health and weakness. With all that has happened with trolls and the resulting shenanigans from Chris, they may not have had the energy, and eventually it reached the point that they were simply out of energy and too infirm. They gave it up, deciding it was an impossible situation--and it was.
> 
> ...



 Ha ha ha! what a story, DustyR.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> DustyR said:
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I KNEW SHE WAS TO BLAME FOR ALL OF THIS


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## Dr.Research (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> TL;didn't fully quote


When I saw his 25th birthday video, and even when I watch it again now, Chris hasn't changed since he was in high school. Not at 20, not at 25, not now. He's gotten wary of others but he almost never has seemed to go "I made a mistake there, I should learn from it and try not to repeat it." I doubt Chris would be happily married, employed full time and living with his darling daughter Crystal if he never started putting videos on the internet.[/quote]

~~~~
Honestly, Chris never really had a chance. It's clear both Bob and Barb were not the best parents to their previous children (meaning Bob's daughter and Cole) and I'm willing to bet by the time Chris was conceived the two were tapped out. Now add the autism. What could have been perfectly manageable was fucked up by two people who had no business having another child. They let their child be neglected repeatedly (if you want to believe the abusive baby sitter was as Chris describes) while they went out and fought the school system when it tried to help. Chris may have been a pain in the ass but I highly  doubt the school system would say "Fuck it! Mental asylum!". He would probably end up in complete special ed. or sent to a school specifically for autism/ special needs. I'm willing to be Barb and Bob were just done. Around Chris's PVCC days any hope they had was well depleted. Wouldn't you give up too if you had raised an entitled manchild and couldn't really do a damn thing about it?

I agree with TheWarp. Chris was allowed to live inside a childhood delusion and just recently is he finding out what that means in reality. While the trolls may have done some fucked up things to him or caused him some grief, they aren't responsible. Chris could of at any time got off the Internet or just not taken the bait. Even without the trolls or the fire he'd be in his parent's house drawing Sonichu or otherwise being the person we know now, minus the e-fame. Chris's infamy didn't make him the person he is, his parents and his upbringing did. And even still, Cole had Barb and as a mother too and he got out. Yes, he's a pretentious douche bag but he's also a functional member of society with a wife. If Chris really wanted to have a life, around high school or even in PVCC when he saw other people doing that he could have too, autism or not. If he wasn't such a fuck he could make friends regardless of the autism because there are people who understand what quirks come with it and, if he had a good personality, could probably deal with it. I know this personally because I know people in college with autism (Aspergers, to be precise). 

No one on the CWCki or the forums should feel responsibility. The fire is terrible and I personally don't think that either of them deserved it and honestly hope they can salvage their lives. But the misfortune is theirs. These are two people with issues that were not addressed and the only ones that shoulder the responsibility are Barb and Chris.


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

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Suddenly, I'm very glad that Chris doesn't know how to file a lawsuit


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

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Well yeah-uh it's easy. You write out uh, what you're suing the person for, then you put your court outfit on then you go down to the court house. That's why they call it a lawsuit.


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## Takayuki Yagami (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> Dr.Research said:
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Go to his website. Dude's actually pretty cool. The Snob is litterally meant to be a parody of people like Cole


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> Suddenly, I'm very glad that Chris doesn't know how to file a lawsuit


I wish he _did _know how. It'd be entertaining to see him waste tons of time filing suit after suit that gets thrown out of court for being ridiculous.


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> Well yeah-uh it's easy. You write out uh, what you're suing the person for, then you put your court outfit on then you go down to the court house. That's why they call it a lawsuit.



He'd write out a demand for a million dollars and then put under it "NO HAGGLE" 



			
				Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> I wish he _did _know how. It'd be entertaining to see him waste tons of time filing suit after suit that gets thrown out of court for being ridiculous.



In my experience, judges have very little tolerance for people who waste their time filing suits.  Yes, it would be funny, especially if he demands Sonichu represent him, but it could also end up with Chris getting held in contempt of court.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> TheWarp said:
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Christ, can you imagine him actually locked up? Or forced to deal with other people in that situation?


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## Marvin (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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That'd be even funnier.


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## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> As far as addressing culpability for the fire, let me ask you something, Mean Gene. Could the trolls and cwcki members be partly to blame? If all the trolling and cwcking had not gone down, would Chris have perhaps manned up to clean the house?


If I had been bullied like Chris, I'd have stayed home a lot, realized how shit-tastic my house was and cleaned it. So... no, we're not responsible. 

Sidenote, who the fuck is Mean Gene? I've seen it like four times in this thread alone and have no clue who it is. I think it's a fill-in, like h-a-n-d-s becomes MANOS but I'm not sure


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 13, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> Christ, can you imagine him actually locked up? Or forced to deal with other people in that situation?



It'd be like last time. He'd scream for   , sing and quote TV to himself, shout at GodBear for help, do a few Curse-Ye-Ham-Yehas here and there. IIRC, they had to keep him isolated in his own cell during the whole Snyder saga.


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 13, 2014)

Last time Chris was locked up, he tarded the fuck out and pretended that he was a genie for some reason.  As odd as the description sounds, I see it as very plausible for Chris since he tends to do everything he can to disassociate from reality when under stress.


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## thelastdalek (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> DustyR said:
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He's an old wrestling interviewer (is that the right word?)


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## Iamthatis (Jan 13, 2014)

thelastdalek said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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He was a WWF wrestler and then announcer back in the Hulk Hogan-Ultimate warrior days.


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## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

Iamthatis said:
			
		

> thelastdalek said:
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......


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> CrusaderKing said:
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Perhaps if he tried to shoot a Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha at the judge.  Because as we all know


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## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

I don't know, I've heard his family has connections with local judge Slack Lewis.


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## Green Nidoking (Jan 13, 2014)

Solbrud said:
			
		

> Not to be rude, but I think we're all plainly aware that Dusty's speculation about how well Chris might be doing without trolls is way off. Not sure why everyone is writing a wall of text to tell him he's wrong. I didn't even think anyone would bother replying to it



Eh. Bored.


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## alterid (Jan 13, 2014)

I can't stop imagining how fucked up Chris must be, right where it hurts worst in the autism.  Remember when he stayed at a hotel during a convention and had to have as many familiar things as possible along so that he'd have a sense of normalcy?  Well, now he's at a motel with nothing familiar along at all except his mommy and a few small items.

His coping mechanisms have always depended on things he knows to be TRUE  and real to him and when those go off the rails so does Chris.  He and Barb are probably pretty preoccupied with dealing with legal and technical matters relating to the house and fire but when things settle a little that way Chris is going to have a lot more time to realize how lost his prior life is.  He thought the loss of the gal-pals legacy was bad but this... He treasured everything he kept like they were talismans and if it's all really gone he might genuinely lose it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that this situation would be hard enough for a 'normal' person to deal with.  Chris can't.


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## exball (Jan 13, 2014)

Green Nidoking said:
			
		

> Solbrud said:
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Fixed.


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## Spatchmo (Jan 13, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> DustyR said:
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Chris doesn't think he was ever bullied, though. No one has ever shoved him in a locker or given him a wedgie!


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

alterid said:
			
		

> I can't stop imagining how fucked up Chris must be, right where it hurts worst in the autism.  Remember when he stayed at a hotel during a convention and had to have as many familiar things as possible along so that he'd have a sense of normalcy?  Well, now he's at a motel with nothing familiar along at all except his mommy and a few small items.
> 
> His coping mechanisms have always depended on things he knows to be TRUE  and real to him and when those go off the rails so does Chris.  He and Barb are probably pretty preoccupied with dealing with legal and technical matters relating to the house and fire but when things settle a little that way Chris is going to have a lot more time to realize how lost his prior life is.  He thought the loss of the gal-pals legacy was bad but this... He treasured everything he kept like they were talismans and if it's all really gone he might genuinely lose it.
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to say is that this situation would be hard enough for a 'normal' person to deal with.  Chris can't.



If word gets out of his behavior during his hotel stay i'd imagine it wouldn't be too far from his behavior in jail. Chris' response to stress and unfamiliar situations is to dissociate from reality.


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## TrippinKahlua (Jan 13, 2014)

Spatchmo said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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Wonder if he ever left class to find Son-Chu all wrapped up in toilet paper?


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## Picklechu (Jan 13, 2014)

TrippinKahlua said:
			
		

> Wonder if he ever left class to find Son-Chu all wrapped up in toilet paper?



I didn't think that he drove Son-Chu in high school. I thought he rode the bus? Maybe that was just the early part of high school, though.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 13, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> TrippinKahlua said:
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I don't know why and have no proof, but I imagine Chris would be on some type of bus all four years. I can't imagine him actually driving to school on time by himself every day.


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## Grand Number of Pounds (Jan 13, 2014)

Not just any bus, but the short bus. He rode with other special ed kids, who Chris called slow-in-da-minds.

It was in his Week with Christian Chandler assignment for English.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> DustyR said:
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You forgot alcoholic.

And Chris lived with Bob when he was at Midlothian while Barb lived at 14BLC. She retired four years before he graduated. Not sure how that's important but it seems off.


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## Seahorses (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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That's why you hire a lawyer.


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## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> You forgot alcoholic.


Barb's an alcoholic?  Maybe I've been slacking in my Christory studies, but I don't remember ever reading about that.



			
				TheWarp said:
			
		

> She retired four years before he graduated. Not sure how that's important but it seems off.


If they're being smart about their finances (granted, keyword being "if"), why does a parent's period of unemployment/retirement relative to their child's graduation matter?  My mom didn't start working until I was a senior in high school, which probably seems "off" relative to my tuition needs (though perhaps not so much to my youngest brother, who was in first grade at the time?).  We're doing fine, though.


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## Marvin (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> And Chris lived with Bob when he was at Midlothian while Barb lived at 14BLC. She retired four years before he graduated. Not sure how that's important but it seems off.


Oh yeah, that was when the hoard developed.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

http://www.newsplex.com/home/headli...orning-House-Fire-in-Greene-Co-239631301.html

I bet NewsPlex is wondering right now why such an inconsequential article is getting so much traffic.



			
				Himawari said:
			
		

> TheWarp said:
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Bob and Barb used to go out drinking constantly in Chris' early years, one of the main reasons he was left around the babysitter a lot of the time. And I'm not saying anything against retiring early or having children late (My mother had her last son at 38 and stopped working at 40, my dad's younger but still works) But you need to plan your money damn well for retirement, and things don't go well when you outlive your savings.

Barb might not drink so much now (Bob even less so) but Cole had a bit to say about Chris' handling as a tyke.





The seeds were sown early, I'd say.


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## Christ-Chan (Jan 13, 2014)

GrandNumberOfPounds said:
			
		

> Not just any bus, but the short bus. He rode with other special ed kids, who Chris called slow-in-da-minds.


And he got put there because the other kids were mean to him, but he wasn't *bullied* or anything - high school was awesome until the condensating bitches killed the young little.tomgirl's SOUL.


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## 4Macie (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> She retired four years before he graduated. Not sure how that's important but it seems off.


It only seems off to you because it's not "normal". You've forgotten that Barb is 72 years old. At the time of Chris's highschool graduation in 2000 (I believe it was 2000... might be wrong) she would have been 59 years old. Four years before that she retired, she was 55. 55 is an "average" year to retire back then, now I think it's a few years later due to economy, but that's not the issue. Fact is, Barb retired when she was 55, an acceptable age. Nothing wrong with it and it's not 'off'. What's off is that when she was almost 60 she had an 18 year old.


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## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> Bob and Barb used to go out drinking constantly in Chris' early years, one of the main reasons he was left around the babysitter a lot of the time.


Ah right, that.  I was thinking more in recent years, and I was also thinking more of alcoholism as an illness, which is a bit of a heavy-handed label to give people who go out for social drinking.  (Not denying that such actions were rather neglectful and abusive towards Chris.)



			
				TheWarp said:
			
		

> Barb might not drink so much now (Bob even less so)


Well I should hope Bob isn't drinking much nowadays!


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## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> TheWarp said:
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I don't know, has there actually been confirmation on whether or not they serve alcohol in Lumberjack Heaven?


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 13, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> CrusaderKing said:
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Chris doesn't have the money for that, and likely never will.


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## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

I stumbled upon this while browsing twitter, I don't know if it's already been posted (never got around to reading the tail end of the first thread), but I admit it made me giggle: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishl ... rlist_go_o


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> That's why you hire a lawyer.


That's what an intelligent person would do.  So we can discount the chance of our dear hero doing that


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
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I dunno, man.  A lot of lawyers are desperate for jobs now.  They might take his case.  They'ld start right away by filing a


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## A-Stump (Jan 13, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
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Calendars and Dunkin Doughnut coupons don't pay legal fees these days?


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## Bob's Fries (Jan 13, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> Ugh, them spreading scabies in the hotel and the people who get the hotel room after them getting scabies... this scenario makes me shudder. I know this is how bedbugs spread.



Didn't Chris say he was staying at this one couple's home? They're gonna have to deal with scabies too...


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> I dunno, man.  A lot of lawyers are desperate for jobs now.  They might take his case.  They'ld start right away by filing a


No lawyer will hear "I want to sue Mike Snyder for burning my house down by reflecting the fire-type curse shots I shot at him back at me with his shield made of troll magic" and see dollar signs.


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> CrusaderKing said:
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No, but they might take it as part of the pro bono work lawyers are required to do.  And let's face it, it's far more interesting than some domestic violence case or a divorce


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## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

A-Stump said:
			
		

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Nah, they were only for iced tea.


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## Marvin (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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It's suggested that lawyers meet a certain amount of pro bono work annually, but not required on a federal level. Some state bar associations might require it though, so that'd depend on Virginia's standards.


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## Mayor McCheese (Jan 13, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> http://www.newsplex.com/home/headli...orning-House-Fire-in-Greene-Co-239631301.html
> 
> I bet NewsPlex is wondering right now why such an inconsequential article is getting so much traffic.
> 
> ...



I always looked at the horde as being a replacement addiction. It's like addicts rarely change they think they do but most times end up just swapping one addiction for another instead of solving the root of the whole addiction, so she dropped the booze and became a hoarder.


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## Solbrud (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> I stumbled upon this while browsing twitter, I don't know if it's already been posted (never got around to reading the tail end of the first thread), but I admit it made me giggle: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishl ... rlist_go_o



This is awesome. I love the shed


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## LM 697 (Jan 13, 2014)

Let's start a donation fund so Chris can get a lawyer.


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## Kamen Rider Black RX (Jan 13, 2014)

http://probonolawyers.org/?state=VA

A few places that do pro bono legal work for low income families in the state of Virginia.


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## Seahorses (Jan 13, 2014)

CrusaderKing said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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But...but... I'm in law school and I want to do family law.


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## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I thought that lawyers only had to take criminal cases pro-bono.


There are plenty of lawyers who do civil pro-bono work


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 13, 2014)

Da update


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## Princess Robee (Jan 13, 2014)

Okay I don't post to this forum as often as I should. I'm amazed at the number of posts, many of them quite long, that have been generated by this event. I just want to post some of my own thoughts.

First the idea that Chris intentionally set the fire, while plausible, is almost certainly false. While some posts have made interesting points about why Chris would have done such a thing (a desperate attempt to clean up the horde once and for all) I don't think even Chris is so stupid to do such a thing. As others have pointed out the Keurig machine probably overloaded the old, unkempt, wiring of the house. I actually have one of those machines in the staff kitchen where I work and if you use it and the microwave simultaneously it will blow a fuse. Someone mentioned in another thread that the outlets in a bathroom can't handle that kind of power drain.

As for the damage to the house, while it doesn't look that bad from the outside, the inside may be pure ash for all we know. As others have posted here the outside of burnt house can look fine while the inside is completely wrecked. I'm guessing everything in the house, be it Horde or Relic, can be considered destroyed by the fire or the water damage from putting it out. I do think that it will be more expensive to repair the house than to tear it down and build a new one (or just get a trailer).

As for what will happen to Chris, I just don't know. We all predicted that this might happen yet I don't think any of us expected to actually witness it. I think this might end with Chris and Barb moving, which might end up being a good thing for Chris if can manage to keep his address off the internet. I've always felt bad for Chris, even thought most of his troubles come from his own actions, those actions are the result of his mental problems (which I think go beyond autism) and bad parenting that set him down this road. When I look at Chris I sometimes think “There but for the grace of God go I”.

Just my thoughts.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Da update




How's that group chat going with jessyca, courtney, & kris?


----------



## sonichuis44 (Jan 13, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Da update



Edit: I can't read.
Also can we safely assume Chris got his iPhone out, or is there a facebook app for the 3DS?


----------



## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

sonichuis44 said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol @ Nintendo supporting a Facebook app. 

Chris said in his very first post about the fire that he had his iPhone with him as he escaped.


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Boring. Nobody has mentioned the Chris fire yet. Why do I bother?


----------



## bradsternum (Jan 13, 2014)

"We like good food." Lawl.


----------



## Picklechu (Jan 13, 2014)

Watermelon commented on the new update:



> Idunno if you've been able to see my PM or the post in your other update in your current conditions. Maybe eventually. It's convenient we can mail to your home address now. I kind of misplaced the cyber-bullying themed calendar, but when I find it I'll scan pages for your approval first. The DunkinDonuts coupons are in another calendar spread across each month so you can treat yourself at a discount sometimes for the entire year. I also have some ramen noodle packages I was going to send to my nephew for his birthday, but if you like ramen noodles, I think you need it more than he does. Maybe I have an XL shirt lying around here somewhere. I'll see.


----------



## sonichuis44 (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> sonichuis44 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Hey man, I said I can't read!


----------



## rafasilva (Jan 13, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Da update


Oh, they like good food.... That's something that most people don't say in situations like this.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

I think what chris is trying to say is "me like food. good"


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 13, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> Watermelon commented on the new update:
> 
> 
> 
> > Idunno if you've been able to see my PM or the post in your other update in your current conditions. Maybe eventually. It's convenient we can mail to your home address now. I kind of misplaced the cyber-bullying themed calendar, but when I find it I'll scan pages for your approval first. The DunkinDonuts coupons are in another calendar spread across each month so you can treat yourself at a discount sometimes for the entire year. I also have some ramen noodle packages I was going to send to my nephew for his birthday, but if you like ramen noodles, I think you need it more than he does. Maybe I have an XL shirt lying around here somewhere. I'll see.



"Cyber-bullying themed calendar"? You're shitting us, right? What's next, a "burning house a day" weekly planner?

Is that a real post? And if so, has it been confirmed if that account was hijacked?

edit: Who sends ramen through the mail as a birthday gift?? The postage costs more than the food!!


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

"Whoa! Ramen noodles?! Thanks!", said no nephew in the history of gifts


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Picklechu said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Nah it's par for the course. Waterman is a shithead


----------



## GFYS (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> two windows, one wall
> 
> 
> Spoiler


Weird, the way I have his house mapped out, I've got Chris on the other side in the Northeast corner of the house.  Here's an image of what I thought his house layout is (large):


Spoiler








A few of us pieced this together, based on the older tour video.  I concede, we could be totally wrong.  The quality of the videos were so poor, whenever Chris would spin around, and you'd get image tearing that's really disorienting.

Edit:  Sorry, I missed a page, while reading.     Looks like *Bernd Lauert* already got this.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 13, 2014)

GFYS said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Oh no no no. That isn't the placement of the room. I was just circling the layout of windows. We were wondering if he had two sets of windows in his room. And I pointed out there was one set of two like on the rest of the house.


----------



## Solbrud (Jan 13, 2014)

How is he receiving mail at his house...? Nevermind. I didn't read his post fully, I guess.


----------



## lisaface (Jan 13, 2014)

For some reason Kevin Mann at State Farm has himself set up as a Foursquare location you can check into, which is pretty weird.  It's not his office building, it's his name and his photo, so if you check in you're actually saying "hey everyone, I'm currently at Kevin Mann."

He has one tip on Foursquare from Jennifer S: "This nigga the mayor, but don't have a car or insurance? Smmfh "  WTF?  Is the whole Charlottesville area just a little off?


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

Solbrud said:
			
		

> How is he receiving mail at his house...?



His lawn. Some generous folks already dropped off two fridges and some furniture.


----------



## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> For some reason Kevin Mann at State Farm has himself set up as a Foursquare location you can check into, which is pretty weird.  It's not his office building, it's his name and his photo, so if you check in you're actually saying "hey everyone, I'm currently at Kevin Mann."
> 
> He has one tip on Foursquare from Jennifer S: "This nigga the mayor, but don't have a car or insurance? Smmfh "  WTF?  Is the whole Charlottesville area just a little off?



It's called Virginia.

Yeah I'm talking shit from my upside down country full of poisonous animals.


----------



## CrusaderKing (Jan 13, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> Is the whole Charlottesville area just a little off?



That's what I've been told by a friend who used to live there.  It's... not the nicest or most developed area.


----------



## GFYS (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Oh no no no. That isn't the placement of the room. I was just circling the layout of windows. We were wondering if he had two sets of windows in his room. And I pointed out there was one set of two like on the rest of the house.


Ah, my bad, thanks for the clarification!  I was pretty sure there was only that one pair of windows on the Northwest wall, facing Branchland Ct., for years.  But external photos later suggested there's another window.  Maybe it's to the bathroom.  It's hard to tell how far back it is, based on the perspective.  Since the CWCki's a little unresponsive, it's hard to pull up photos to corroborate.  A-a-a-and, I'm lazy, and forgot how to view Google's cached version.   

Er wait, I know there isn't a window in the bathroom - thank goodness.  Eh, I'm gonna have to review the external videos.

Edit again - There is no window on the northeast side.  Chris' room only has the one pair of windows on the northwest side.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> "This nigga the mayor, but don't have a car or insurance? Smmfh "



This needs to be one of the randomized headlines on the forums.


----------



## Misto (Jan 13, 2014)

Just registered to state the obvious: Watermelon is a fucking idiot. 

Other than that, I'm a longtime lurker and Christorian.  A few years ago I drew the comics where Wild commits suiide over the death of Simonla and Sonichu becomes a raging alcoholic and divorces Rosechu after his kids die. Since then, I have been amazed by the constant stupidity and terrible luck that seems to hover over Chris, and now this fire.... His life is really stranger than fiction.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 13, 2014)

Where exactly is he going to hang this "cyber bullying themed calendar" Watermelon? He doesn't have a fucking house now, remember?
Cretin!


----------



## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> HarryHowler said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I don't think these diagrams are right. I can draw something up later, but if you watch the first house tour, I'm virtually certain he says "that was the craft room" and not "that was the bathroom" after he picks up the camera after like forty seconds of dead air because he didn't know it was still recording after he dropped it [[Honor roll|because he's Chris]]. The camera is pointing directly at a closed door as he says this; I think that:

-this is at the northeastern end of the hallway
-you'd turn left from directly in front of this door to enter Chris's room
-this is technically one of the houses three bedrooms (according to Zillow)
-this bedroom corresponds to the northeastern window on the back of the house shown in the first tour video
-the other back window is in the kitchen, therefore...
-this is where the kitchen is in the above diagrams
-i.e. the kitchen is where the question mark is
-the above two facts account for the amount of space in the area with the question mark above

I think Barb and Bob's room would be in the western corner of the downstairs of the house... putting it as far away from Chris's room as possible.

I also think the utility room is where the bathroom is in the above diagrams, and the bathroom is in the space to the right of stairs downstairs. This would put the utility room below the upstairs bedrooms and the downstairs bathroom either directly or almost directly beneath the upstairs bathroom.

If the external damage to the house is any indication, this would suggest that the fire spread northeast from the downstairs bathroom through the utility room then up through the craft room and Chris's bedroom; through the upstairs bathroom from the downstairs bathroom; or both.

No idea why the fire would magically not consume the hoard toward the southwest, though.


----------



## rocket (Jan 13, 2014)

Watermelon is hilarious if as subtle as a fucking sledgehammer


----------



## Christory101 (Jan 13, 2014)

Who is watermelon anyway? Did he go to MHS with Chris? I know the backstory with Anna.....  

I know Anna likes to act as Chris' benevolent protecter, but truth is she isn't much "better" than he is....

Perhaps they'd fine happiness if they tied the knot. The old biological clock is a'tickin away!


----------



## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Who is watermelon anyway? Did he go to MHS with Chris? I know the backstory with Anna.....
> 
> I know Anna likes to act as Chris' benevolent protecter, but truth is she isn't much "better" than he is....
> 
> Perhaps they'd fine happiness if they tied the knot. The old biological clock is a'tickin away!



I think Anna said he was her cousin in a Facebook post lately, which would make sense because he supposedly both knows her family and lives way out in Bumfuck, Maine.


----------



## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Who is watermelon anyway?


He's Anna's cousin. (But shhh, he thinks we haven't known that for ages!)


----------



## Jin (Jan 13, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Who is watermelon anyway? Did he go to MHS with Chris? I know the backstory with Anna.....
> 
> I know Anna likes to act as Chris' benevolent protecter, but truth is she isn't much "better" than he is....
> 
> Perhaps they'd fine happiness if they tied the knot. The old biological clock is a'tickin away!



That would be one ugly looking baby.


----------



## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> ChompyRex said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



We're already getting some Jack for the insurance agent, this is going to get expensive.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 13, 2014)

Himawari said:
			
		

> He's Anna's cousin. (But shhh, he thinks we haven't known that for ages!)



Anna, the girl who puts Chris's text walls to shame.  Queen of the TL semicolon DR.  Brevity is the soul of wit, my dear.


----------



## DustyR (Jan 13, 2014)

In addressing the various responses to my contention that we are somewhat culpable, I will briefly try to address the various points raised. I don't think any of us individually are responsible - not even people like Blue Spike - but collectively, as a group, I do think we share some of the burden. Most of us who were in his position, would get the heck on with our lives. Things could have happened exactly the same with the fire. We can certainly never know, but there is a chance that the events leading to the fire would not have happened. Certainly life could have been very different. 

I was unaware that the hoard started when Barb lived alone whilst Bob and Chris were off allowing him to attend high school. That would make sense, and it does make it seem like the hoarding is more of a lifelong thing.

I do still believe Barb is something of a victim. She wasn't always, certainly, but when you reach a certain age and level of infirmity, which she clearly has, then certain things no longer are her fault. The hoard was her fault up until whenever her health started declining and she was reduced to sleeping so much. 65? I don't know the age, but at that point she isn't capable. I know a lot of people on this board are very young and probably few have older parents or parents who are seriously ill, but at a certain point, they become your responsibility. A lot of people have parents come live with them, send them to nursing homes, have to go and help them out, etc. Barb and Bob both reached that point. So, while the hoarding was at one point all her fault, that stopped being the case. Yes, Chris is an autistic weirdo, but he is functional enough that he should have assumed the responsibility. I know what it is like having a hoarder, as I have had them in my family. I also have read in the phone transcripts Barb asking for Chris to help clean and saying how hard it is for, and did that happen? No. So Barb said the magic words and made her feelings known, and I am sure it probably wasn't the only time, just the only time we have evidence of it. 

Chris has been so damaged he has retreated deeply into his fantasy world of video games / legos / other nonsense he immerses himself in. I think he has seen and gone through a lot due to the trolling, and he has certainly become less gullible and naive. He is a lot less likely to leave this fantasy world now than if things had gone down differently, and his cries of persecution against MLW had fallen on deaf ears.

Bob may not have wanted Chris to work, but Bob is dead, and Chris may have grown bored of life alone in his bedroom. I don't think that would have happened until maybe around age 29-30, or even now, but I do think he would have matured and decided to try things on his own. 

I am not posting for attention, but I do not think I have anything else to contribute to the topic of Barb being a victim / us sharing some culpability in the fire. It is my strong opinion that Chris shares most of the blame for the fire, because ultimately he is responsible for the hoard as he is Barb's caretaker to some extent, and he was the idiot doing it at 2am. These are my beliefs, but I do not want to clutter this thread with them further.


----------



## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> clutter



heh


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What does he have to gain if he is purposefully jerking our chains for attention? Vying for attention in the statuses of someone's pleas for donations and handouts is beyond tacky. Spergin' or not, someone should have told him to pipe down.

I don't want to come off as shooting down his generosity, but a calendar is a piece of home decor. Chris doesn't have a place for a calendar and his iPhone comes with one anyways. _Two_ calendars, though, one of which is "cyber-bullying"? Some users here suggested that sending Chris a copy of his comics "might" remind him of trolling, but an item emblazoned with "cyber-bullying" has got to be some kind of trigger for Chris. Sending food is a kind gesture and I can tell Watergun's heart is in the right place here, but a bag of ramen costs 17 cents and takes up quite a bit of space in a box. He would be better off buying a Walmart gift card for $5 and sending it in an envelope because that would be equal to sending a box of ramen somewhere. He could spare the double calendar by cutting out the coupons head of time and including it with the gift card.

Sending ramen in the mail. That, my friends, is quintessential chaos.

I'm over analyzing this. I need a drink.


----------



## Lelbron (Jan 13, 2014)

Bob was an electrical engineer. He set this in motion before his death.

He knew the house would kill him. This was his act of retribution.


----------



## Himawari (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

>


no


----------



## Giovanni (Jan 13, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> two windows, one wall



TO THE SWEAT DROP DOWN MY BALLS

...oops, sorry, got a little over-excited there


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

"Mailing you a welcome mat, a mountable keyholder, a coupon to Home Depot, and a picture of your dead dad smiling as he gardens outside your childhood home. I may have an XS t-shirt around here too." - Waterhead's first draft


----------



## SmugTomato (Jan 13, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> "Mailing you a welcome mat, a mountable keyholder, a coupon to Home Depot, and a picture of your dead dad smiling as he gardens outside your childhood home. I may have an XS t-shirt around here too." - Waterhead's first draft



Oh, and I'm getting him an Xbox 360, some new curtains and some more coffee pods for that machine of his!


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 13, 2014)

And pickles.


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 13, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> "Whoa! Ramen noodles?! Thanks!", said no nephew in the history of gifts



Elliot Schwartz loved his though...


----------



## JustSomeGuy (Jan 13, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> In addressing the various responses to my contention that we are somewhat culpable, I will briefly try to address the various points raised. I don't think any of us individually are responsible - not even people like Blue Spike - but collectively, as a group, I do think we share some of the burden. Most of us who were in his position, would get the heck on with our lives. Things could have happened exactly the same with the fire. We can certainly never know, but there is a chance that the events leading to the fire would not have happened. Certainly life could have been very different.
> 
> I was unaware that the hoard started when Barb lived alone whilst Bob and Chris were off allowing him to attend high school. That would make sense, and it does make it seem like the hoarding is more of a lifelong thing.
> 
> ...



I had to say something about this. Dusty, I think very little would have changed for him. Most of the major events in his life that may have caused any real hardship on him and Barb had nothing do to with trolls. The Game Place, Megan, College....that was all him. The biggest difference is that he'd be still trapped in the fantasy (well, even more so then currently) that he's a slender young man who just has some bad luck with the ladies and a soon-to-be thriving media empire based on a shitty recolor. The most that would be different is that he'd have his original   and life upgrade, and the list of people he blames all his problems on would be shorter, but still very much there. If anything, the dose of reality he got dealing with trolls (what little reality he grasped on to, anyway) made him able to mentally handle this. Imagine what his reaction would have been if he was still 'Classic Chris' when his house caught fire? Sorry to bring his up again, but I had to say it. Back to lurking!


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 13, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Because he needed the carbs to bang Walt's ex-girlfriend in his mansion.


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> CWCissey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He didn't know yet!


----------



## BatNapalm (Jan 13, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> He would be better off buying a Walmart gift card for $5 and sending it in an envelope because that would be equal to sending a box of ramen somewhere.



But isn't he still banned from the Mal-Wart region for vandalism? I wouldn't be surprised if   started sending him gift certificates from places he's been banned from.


----------



## The Level Up King (Jan 13, 2014)

I'm guessing Anna white knights Chris so vehemently because she sees Waterbitch in him.


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 13, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> He did actually. I think Skyler told him at some point before they started opening the gifts.
> 
> But anyway, unless Watermelon is fucking dying of cancer, giving Chris or his nephews ramen is a pretty shitty gift. Why doesn't he just get them another coffee maker while he's at it?



Nah I swear that Skyler told Elliot after the gift opening. The reason Elliot liked it was due to nostalgia from his and Walt's college days.

Then again it has been a while since I watched Season 1 of Breaking Bad, I need to get my DVDs back from my friend who borrowed it.


----------



## Doge (Jan 14, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> CrusaderKing said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He'd be like a real life Steve Bossel.

(Steve Bossel is a character by Phil Hendrie, who was regularly invited on the radio how to discuss what ever lawsuit he was filing. Like, he was pursuing legal action against "Mel Gibbons" and everyone else involved with "Passions of the Jesus" for making Jesus look sexy and making him feel inadequate.)


----------



## HealthyMcWrap (Jan 14, 2014)

Does Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys have gift certificates?


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

HealthyMcWrap said:
			
		

> Does Cville's Hobbies, Games, and Toys have gift certificates?



I don't think Snyder should be bothered by weens and people trying to buy gift certificates for Chris. I've spoken to Snyder before and in my opinion he seemed a bit exhausted with this whole mess. He's been harassed by Chris for a very long time, the last thing he needs is more people giving him a hard time... even if they are buying gift certificates that ultimately will never be used.


----------



## The Maxx (Jan 14, 2014)

Watermelon's post reminds me of the Grandmother in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. The one that would wrap miscellaneous things around her house as Christmas gifts, like the jello, or her cat. Better check all packages for leaks or meows.


----------



## DrChristianTroy (Jan 14, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> "We like good food." Lawl.


Hilarious when I first read it. Hilarious now. Seriously why the hell would you include this?


----------



## GFYS (Jan 14, 2014)

I was incorrect in a previous post - there are no windows on the northeast side, Chris' former room only had the pair of windows (one had the air conditioner) on the northwest side facing Branchland Ct.


			
				TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> I don't think these diagrams are right. I can draw something up later, but if you watch the first house tour, I'm virtually certain he says "that was the craft room" and not "that was the bathroom" after he picks up the camera after like forty seconds of dead air because he didn't know it was still recording after he dropped it [[Honor roll|because he's Chris]]. The camera is pointing directly at a closed door as he says this; I think that...


That is starting to make a little more sense, and matches the square footage a little better.  Dammit, Chris...  Learn to operate a camera like whoever was recording his LEGO high school presentation at McDonalds.  How are we supposed to accurately _lucridize_ his name, if he's not more precise?!


----------



## Tiresome (Jan 14, 2014)

GFYS said:
			
		

> I was incorrect in a previous post - there are no windows on the northeast side, Chris' former room only had the pair of windows (one had the air conditioner) on the northwest side facing Branchland Ct.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I find it highly amusing (presumed) Rocky, who is twice is age, is also twice as good with a camera than Chris.


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

Tiresome said:
			
		

> GFYS said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Don't give her too much credit, the video was originally shaky and stabilized with one of YouTube's in-house filters. That's why the entire shot pulses and deforms strangely at points. Chris also holds up his minifigure and says "go ahead and zoom in on me there". No zoom happens.


----------



## Tiresome (Jan 14, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Tiresome said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That's true, but most of the time she knows what to shoot and how to frame.


----------



## DustyR (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> JustSomeGuy said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He certainly doesn't have the mentality of a five year old. That's childish drivel there. It's fun to poke fun of him as the naive autistic who has done so much wrong and espoused such horrendous views, but the reality is much different. He's mature enough to care for her and change her holey bollocks, but not mature enough to clean the house? He was mature enough to go work at Wendy's briefly and get complete the degree requirements to obtain his associate's. He is capable of going to many places of business to purchase necessities and obtain food. His social skills may be severely lacking and he is ignorant of how to act properly and interact with others in many circumstances, and he has very childish interests while being mostly concerned with his own wants and desires. That doesn't make him a five year old, just a troubled 31 year old, but one who is functional. Taking care of a sick parent and cleaning up a house - or getting help to do it - is not rocket science and does not require advanced life skills. The skills needed are rather basic.

Yes, I know all about the threats to kill herself, and I know that when you have someone that repeats that kind of nonsense all the time to get their way, it loses its meaning. I'm pretty sure the male Chandlers knew not to take it too seriously, but humored her as it was easier. It's an easy way to escape blame.


----------



## NobleGreyHorse (Jan 14, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> He's mature enough to care for her and change her holey bollocks



If he's mature enough to accept bollocks on his mother (since he accepts regular bollockings from his mother, it's not such a stretch really), then he is more mature than most US citizens.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 14, 2014)

Since I'm a screen cap whore:







I wonder which probably sent the friend request?



Spoiler


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 14, 2014)

DustyR said:
			
		

> He certainly doesn't have the mentality of a five year old. That's childish drivel there. It's fun to poke fun of him as the naive autistic who has done so much wrong and espoused such horrendous views, but the reality is much different. He's mature enough to care for her and change her holey bollocks, but not mature enough to clean the house? He was mature enough to go work at Wendy's briefly and get complete the degree requirements to obtain his associate's. He is capable of going to many places of business to purchase necessities and obtain food. His social skills may be severely lacking and he is ignorant of how to act properly and interact with others in many circumstances, and he has very childish interests while being mostly concerned with his own wants and desires. That doesn't make him a five year old, just a troubled 31 year old, but one who is functional. Taking care of a sick parent and cleaning up a house - or getting help to do it - is not rocket science and does not require advanced life skills. The skills needed are rather basic.
> 
> Yes, I know all about the threats to kill herself, and I know that when you have someone that repeats that kind of nonsense all the time to get their way, it loses its meaning. I'm pretty sure the male Chandlers knew not to take it too seriously, but humored her as it was easier. It's an easy way to escape blame.



Mmmhmm mmhmm mmhmm.  I hear what you're saying.  And

[youtube]gXlVjW06MDk[/youtube]

It's not your fault.  This video invalidates lots of arguments.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm pretty sure you just answered your own question. Oh, and a desire to be an anti-troll like Anna.


----------



## Poosh (Jan 14, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXlVjW06MDk



I'm a chubby chaser, and, as much as I dislike his personality, he's got some damn juicy boobs sticking out of that shirt there.


----------



## Spatchmo (Jan 14, 2014)

Poosh said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh, you don't even know. In one of his videos he brags about the size of his breasts.


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## Poosh (Jan 14, 2014)

Spatchmo said:
			
		

> Oh, you don't even know. In one of his videos he brags about the size of his breasts.


He makes such positive life choices.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 14, 2014)

Poosh said:
			
		

> Spatchmo said:
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> 
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RIP 14BC   

[youtube]aasziSbt1gM[/youtube]


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## cahoots (Jan 14, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Poosh said:
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_Goodnight, sweet worthless_


----------



## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 14, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> I'm guessing Anna white knights Chris so vehemently because she sees Waterbitch in him.


Where _*IS*_ Anna anyway? We've seen one comment from her, and it wasn't even directed at or about Chris...


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## Varis (Jan 14, 2014)

I think Anna has a very pretty nose.


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## The Level Up King (Jan 14, 2014)

SteelPlatedHeart said:
			
		

> The Level Up King said:
> 
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Yeah, it's almost like she doesn't really give a shit about Chris.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> "We like good food." Lawl.




LOL yeah. Coming from the guy who when asked didn't know what cuisine means.


----------



## TopCat (Jan 14, 2014)




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## Venusaur (Jan 14, 2014)

........What the hell, Waterhead.

EDIT: On the subject of "What the hell, Waterhead". Just saw this in Chris' Facebook...






Seriously, if I didn't know he was part of Anna's circus, I'd have figured him for a troll. Who the hell sends their *anything* Ramen noodles for their birthday!?  :?

EDIT AGAIN:

No, seriously. Ramen for a birthday? Wtf. And like... it's not like dried noodles are that expensive you dick. He could just buy new ones for Chris.

This guy is really special.


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

so waterman and anna are trolling chris


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

The Waterboy is a total prick. I bet his 'complicated relationship' is about as legit as any of Chris's prior relationships.


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

trip2themoon said:
			
		

> The Waterboy is a total prick. I bet his 'complicated relationship' is about as legit as any of Chris's prior relationships.





it's complicated because anna is his cousin


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> trip2themoon said:
> 
> 
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LOL, no wonder that family all look like extras from Deliverance.


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## Spork (Jan 14, 2014)

The Level Up King said:
			
		

> SteelPlatedHeart said:
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The second person from the bottom in this email sounds kinda like Anna.

So let's tally it up.

Us: Donated over $800 so far, and we've got a project together to create replicas of some of the more irreplaceable items that were lost.
Chris's church: Clothes
Waterhead: A calendar and some donut coupons.
Kengle: Offered to help if Chris needed it.
Anna: Begged others to help while insisting that being in Utah somehow stops her from sending care packages.


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

TopCat said:
			
		

> http://snag.gy/a6pEZ.jpg
> 
> http://snag.gy/vb5om.jpg



I guess Waterhead isn't such a saint after all. I know its technically against the rules but could someone who can, bring those screencaps to Chris's attention, so he can block a troll, and so we wont have to hear from this spoon again


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

Actually Waterman is still just a "maybe" on the calender. He has to run it by Chris first. Same with the donut coupons since Chris is watching his weight. No update on if he found that XL shirt but the ramen offer sounds promising so far. Fingers crossed.

I think it's safe to put "positive energy" down from Anna's mom.

Fuck, that family is terrible.


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> TopCat said:
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he would only see it if there were a "waterman: confirmed troll" thread. and i don't know if the mods would allow that.


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

That's not a bad idea at all, its a valid topic, and I'm sure at least some of the mods are sick of his crap as much as we are


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> That's not a bad idea at all, its a valid topic, and I'm sure at least some of the mods are sick of his crap as much as we are



I think we might need a bit more info before we can confirm he's a troll. If someone finds anything really solid then it also makes Anna look pretty fucking suspect since they're related and Anna pretty much vouched for him.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> Actually Waterhead is still just a "maybe" on the calender. He has to run it by Chris first. Same with the donut coupons since Chris is watching his weight. No update on if he found that XL shirt but the ramen offer sounds promising so far. Fingers crossed.
> 
> I think it's safe to put "positive energy" down from Anna's mom.
> 
> Fuck, that family is terrible.




If he can take some time away from banging his butter-faced cousin he might just get round to popping that calender in the post.


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## Butta Face Lopez (Jan 14, 2014)

Varis said:
			
		

> I think Anna has a very pretty nose.


I disagre.


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> The Mackers said:
> 
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Heh heh, imagine all those nerds put down in one fell swoop. I'd have a bit of respect for Chris if he did this actually


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## dogprince (Jan 14, 2014)

You guys do realise that Waterman thing TopCat posted is from 2012 right.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> The Mackers said:
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I don't think he's a troll, I think he just likes to score points off of Chris to make himself feel a little better about his own sad existence.

He reminds me of the saddos in school who would score points by picking on the easiest and most feeble of targets. For a grown man to be doing this is pretty pathetic though.


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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but we forget his amount of balls is equal to his amount of actual friends. with no balls, he's not gonna risk losing "friends"


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## dogprince (Jan 14, 2014)

trip2themoon said:
			
		

> He reminds me of the saddos in school who would score points by picking on the easiest and most feeble of targets. For a grown man to be doing this is pretty pathetic though.


Lol, this reads incredibly hypocritical. Though maybe we are all sad.


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## The Nameless One (Jan 14, 2014)

I had a dream this morning that Chris bought a PS4 and bragged about it on Facebook... while living at the hotel.

My own speculation about Waterhead's origin is that he's a naive young man with simple ideas about trolling, hence why he could so easily switch from "laughing at Chris being trolled" to "white knighting Chris."


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## Doge (Jan 14, 2014)

Eh, there are a few logical reasons why Waterhead could be sending his nephew ramen. Back when I was still working on my undergraduate, I met a few freshmen who were excited about getting into the "college experience" by buying a ton of ramen or they'd have their parents buy them a ton of ramen. Most of them got over this after about a month , but still. It happened. My ex-girlfriend, who was also something of an otaku, claimed ramen was her favorite food. And actually, if you do some fancy stuff with the noodles, ramen can be quite good - I've seen a few restaurants that serve ramen-based dishes. I used ramen once to make a very tasty mango-crab dish once (though, I threw away the seasoning packet). 

However, I think it's infinitely more likely that Waterhead is just fucking with Chris. Seriously, anti-cyber trolling calendar?


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## hellbound (Jan 14, 2014)

Butta Face Lopez said:
			
		

> Varis said:
> 
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Yeah I'm usually okay with larger noses (of all the strange preferences to have...) but Anna's face is pretty busted in every way. But to each their own.


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## NIA-DOA 2.0 (Jan 14, 2014)

Not that we didn't already know this, but I think we can now say for certain that Anna and her family are useless and should never be relied on.


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## Christory101 (Jan 14, 2014)

$800? An entire tugboat in less than a week? That is mighty generous of the cwcki members!  I just hope Barb doesn't learn of it..


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 14, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> You guys do realise that Waterhead thing TopCat posted is from 2012 right.



And...?


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> dogprince said:
> 
> 
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Yes, and so


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
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> 
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and then


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 14, 2014)

dogprince said:
			
		

> You guys do realise that Waterhead thing TopCat posted is from 2012 right.


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## rocket (Jan 14, 2014)

I've always had the impression that Waterhead is like Kim in that he's just subtle enough to stay on Chris's good side


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## CWCissey (Jan 14, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> I've always had the impression that Waterhead is like Kim in that he's just subtle enough to stay on Chris's good side



But not smart enough to stay on _our_ good side.


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 14, 2014)

TopCat said:
			
		

> http://snag.gy/a6pEZ.jpg
> 
> http://snag.gy/vb5om.jpg



Context?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> TopCat said:
> 
> 
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I believe "AN OPEN NOTE" was something Chris wrote to try and get "the trolls" to leave him alone once and for all. I do not know if Waterlily is laughing at Chris' plight or if he is responding to a funny comment left by someone else.


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## Venusaur (Jan 14, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> TheWhitestKnight said:
> 
> 
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You can go into Chris' facebook and go to his Notes and see it. It's public.
It looks like Waterhead shared Chris' note, along with "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH". Take that as you will.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

Venusaur said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
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I give Waterhose an ounce of doubtful benefit and he drops a stack of cyber-bullying calendars all over it.   

(Also, I don't know about you guys but I've taken a liking to the term "cyber-bullying calendars" as a euphemism for slacktivism and/or contributions to something that are worthless.)


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

The more I hear it, the more I feel foolish for even considering that a cyber-bullying calender exists... why would anybody want something so depressing? What kind of pictures would be in it? Chris even need a calendar since he does fuck all?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> The more I hear it, the more I feel foolish for even considering that a cyber-bullying calender exists... why would anybody want something so depressing? What kind of pictures would be in it? Chris even need a calendar since he does fuck all?



My first thought about the calendar was that it would be like one of those "D.A.R.E. TO RESIST DRUGS" things that elementary schools had when I was growing up. It's not a book calendar, it's just one of those large poster-type things that has all 12 months on it with a large graphic above it reading something like "CYBERBULLYING: IT'S NOT COOL" or something of the sort. I haven't seen said calendar, and a rudimentary Google search wasn't helpful, but it doesn't sound like something you'd get at a store; generally stationery that has social activist stuff on it are handed out for free at school assemblies and conventions. (Also, business calendars with coupons are freebies many places give out in November/December to get you coming back all year.)


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## RagtimeRoastBeefy (Jan 14, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> but we forget his amount of balls is equal to his amount of actual friends. with no balls, he's not gonna risk losing "friends"



there has to be an algorithm developed for it but chris, in my opinion is well willing to face the abyss of absolute loneliness for the sake of being "right" more than anything.  even when tolerating being wrong promises china, he'd rather the other party see it his way.  however he wont unfriend them because hes lazy and i think needs to to watch villigantly so that he can strike when they talk shit about him.  He's waiting for that dramatic ending


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 14, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Don't give her too much credit, the video was originally shaky and stabilized with one of YouTube's in-house filters. That's why the entire shot pulses and deforms strangely at points.



That was actually the fabric of reality heaving and churning in protest against Chris's abomination and ill fitting shirt.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
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Speaking of that video again, I was at Target last night and they had a Lego Friends display with that high school in it. I stopped to look at it since it's still partially relevant to the discussions here. It's very tiny (about 10 blocks tall), and it's only the front face of the building and a little bit of wrap around on the sides. To be honest, looking at the completed set, I couldn't see how eight of them could build the massive three storey thing in Chris' video. (Allegedly he used other Friends sets so I guess that explains that.)

No matter though, Manchester High Lego was recently renamed Salvador Dali Memorial High School so what's done is done.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 14, 2014)

I don't know if this was covered, but why is the insurance agent only accepting donations until the 17th?  That seems odd.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> The more I hear it, the more I feel foolish for even considering that a cyber-bullying calender exists... why would anybody want something so depressing? What kind of pictures would be in it? Chris even need a calendar since he does fuck all?



Pin ups of cyber bullying victims? Cute puppies and kittens? Dunkin Donuts coupons?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> I don't know if this was covered, but why is the insurance agent only accepting donations until the 17th?  That seems odd.



Oh, he is? The reprint of the comics I requested will not arrive before then... Is there a secondary address or anything?


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 14, 2014)

To be honest, sending Chris reprints of his own comics and replicas of his Sonichu medallions is a bad idea. You'll be giving him excuses and reasons for him not to move on. If he wants his comics, he can go to the CWCki and print them. And if he wants another Sonichu medallion, let him make his own. I think if we only give him what he needs and don't give him anything Sonichu related, he'll be pushed to move forward even if he doesn't want to. But that's my opinion on this and I know not everybody is going to agree with me on this. Just give the guy what he needs and if you want, attach some notes to motivate him without a-logging him or making fun of him. Something like this; give him some necessities like soap but attach a note that reads along the lines of "I hope you do something Chris like getting a job so you can be out there with other people so you don't feel so lonely all the time." instead of "Here's your shit. Now get a job you fat sagging government mooching piece of shit!"


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

You can understand the likes of Blue Spike taking the piss out of Chris with him being a kid at the time and being as fuck-ugly as he is but Waterboy really is a pathetic little man. How sad and shitty your life would have to be to be in your late twenties and having to score points off of Chris to make yourself feel better

I'd love to see Chris call him on his recent bullshit and challenge him to a fight. I really think Chris could beat him and he strikes me as the kind of cowardly guy who would back right down.


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## CWCissey (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> The more I hear it, the more I feel foolish for even considering that a cyber-bullying calender exists... why would anybody want something so depressing? What kind of pictures would be in it?
























And further scenes from that PoS movie...


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## Francis York Morgan (Jan 14, 2014)

Besides, all this talk of sending him a bunch of Sonichu stuff sounds a little too much like people want to provoke him into making more comics and that's not happening.  Ever.  Chris may still have screen names and stuff where he still identifies himself as the "TRUE and HONEST Creator of Sonichu" but that's all because he has nothing else (save maybe the classic clown shirt) to identify himself with.  Sonichu, as we all know it, is dead.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> trip2themoon said:
> 
> 
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Hmmm, dunno. I think it would be an interesting fight. For a grown man to be scoring points off someone like Chris I think that's quite cowardly and it would be the last thing the Waterboy would expect. I think he'd back down.

Don't forget Chris is strong...


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

Is everyone really jumping on Waterhead for reacting to Chris in more or less the same way we do, except simply doing it more directly? And, I might be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that he admitted to be a former troll, but as he got to know CWC better, he felt sorry for him; this might be his slightly Asperger's way of trying to help out. I mean, he is claiming to send scans of this cyber-bullying calendar, which means it actually EXISTS, and he already had it lying around. It seems like a bit of a stretch to think he bought it within the last couple of days JUST for this occasion, you know?

I don't know, but I just can't buy into this belief that Waterhead is Satan. He just seems like a harmless, if socially awkward, guy. Anna, on the other hand...


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## Coldgrip (Jan 14, 2014)

I don't care much for Bluespike or what he did, but I'm kinda sure he's done more with his life than troll an autistic manchild. Sad the same can't be said for Chris.

Edit*


> Is everyone really jumping on Waterhead for reacting to Chris in more or less the same way we do, except simply doing it more directly? And, I might be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that he admitted to be a former troll, but as he got to know CWC better, he felt sorry for him; this might be his slightly Asperger's way of trying to help out. I mean, he is claiming to send scans of this cyber-bullying calendar, which means it actually EXISTS, and he already had it lying around. It seems like a bit of a stretch to think he bought it within the last couple of days JUST for this occasion, you know?
> 
> I don't know, but I just can't buy into this belief that Waterhead is Satan. He just seems like a harmless, if socially awkward, guy. Anna, on the other hand...


Waterbaby and Anna are both self-righteous ass-pat enablers. It's just that Anna is more bitchy while Waterboy is more of a bitch.


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## CatParty (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Is everyone really jumping on Waterhead for reacting to Chris in more or less the same way we do, except simply doing it more directly? And, I might be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that he admitted to be a former troll, but as he got to know CWC better, he felt sorry for him; this might be his slightly Asperger's way of trying to help out. I mean, he is claiming to send scans of this cyber-bullying calendar, which means it actually EXISTS, and he already had it lying around. It seems like a bit of a stretch to think he bought it within the last couple of days JUST for this occasion, you know?
> 
> I don't know, but I just can't buy into this belief that Waterhead is Satan. He just seems like a harmless, if socially awkward, guy. Anna, on the other hand...




hi william


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## The Level Up King (Jan 14, 2014)

Who says Satan?  People have just been pointing out what a hypocrite he is.  And if you look at his post where he offers Chris the coupons, it's pretty clear that he's mocking Chris' use of random capitalization emphasis since he doesn't do that in any other posts.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If I were actually William, I'd be trying to argue that my mother CANNOT logically be skullfucked, as she isn't even in the SAME STATE as you damn, dirty Jon Webbs!



> Who says Satan? People have just been pointing out what a hypocrite he is. And if you look at his post where he offers Chris the coupons, it's pretty clear that he's mocking Chris' use of random capitalization emphasis since he doesn't do that in any other posts.



Ehhh. I mean, Dunkin Donuts coupons and iced tea? It's not as if he was offering pickle jar coupons and JULAYYY! printed T-shirts. The cyber-bullying calendar is rather on-the-nose, but I stand by the point I made up above.

As for hypocritical-- why, exactly? Even if he is having a bit of a laugh at Chris... Well, isn't it rather a case of the pot calling the kettle black to criticize him for it? I mean, as long as he isn't being a total asspatter-- and I feel that the fact that he called Chris out on the whole Keurig thing proves that he won't blindly agree with Chris just to stay on his good side.

*shrug* Just throwing in my two cents. I might be a bit biased, because I have a friend who has Asperger's, and generally reminds me a bit of Waterguy.


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

Ok, you have convinced me the calender exists. Its retarded!


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## Smutley (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Is everyone really jumping on Waterhead for reacting to Chris in more or less the same way we do, except simply doing it more directly? And, I might be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that he admitted to be a former troll, but as he got to know CWC better, he felt sorry for him; this might be his slightly Asperger's way of trying to help out. I mean, he is claiming to send scans of this cyber-bullying calendar, which means it actually EXISTS, and he already had it lying around. It seems like a bit of a stretch to think he bought it within the last couple of days JUST for this occasion, you know?
> 
> I don't know, but I just can't buy into this belief that Waterhead is Satan. He just seems like a harmless, if socially awkward, guy. Anna, on the other hand...



It's that he's so insufferably smug about everything.  Everything he does with Chris is so over the top in his asspats and his _hilarious subtle_ insults.  He's not offering aid, he's taunting a man who lost his home in a fire by "maybe mailing him coupons and ramen", if he can find them, and if his cousin doesn't want a box full of ramen first.  Right.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Is everyone really jumping on Waterhead for reacting to Chris in more or less the same way we do, except simply doing it more directly? And, I might be wrong, but I seem to recall reading somewhere that he admitted to be a former troll, but as he got to know CWC better, he felt sorry for him; this might be his slightly Asperger's way of trying to help out. I mean, he is claiming to send scans of this cyber-bullying calendar, which means it actually EXISTS, and he already had it lying around. It seems like a bit of a stretch to think he bought it within the last couple of days JUST for this occasion, you know?
> 
> I don't know, but I just can't buy into this belief that Waterhead is Satan. He just seems like a harmless, if socially awkward, guy. Anna, on the other hand...




Don't you think it's pretty pathetic for a man Waterboy's age to be scoring points off of what's basically a child in a man's body? None of us have been kicking him whilst he's down the way the Waterboy is. Since the Waterboy is (supposedly) a friend of a friend he should be offering to help more than the people of this forum but so far he's offered Chris the square root of fuck all.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

trip2themoon said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I'm not speaking for EVERYone on this forum, but... Come on. Just one look at the What If? section of the forum, and it's full of Christorical humor, jokes at his expense, and it occasionally even veers toward straight-up A-Logging.

And eh, I really haven't followed Waterhead's past posts enough to see if he does this kind of thing often or not, but my point is, that as far as I can tell, I'm not even sure he's trolling or attempting to mock Chris at all. Yes, the things he's attempting to offer are RIDICULOUS, but who's to say that Waterhead isn't just as childish as Chris in his own way? "Oh, I have lots of spare ramen, and, mm, a cyber-bullying calendar, Chris would appreciate that. And he wanted coupons... I have iced tea coupons..."

I mean, I don't know. I'm just trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. If we immediately assume that the dude has bad intentions, then doesn't it make us as paranoid as Chris? I do agree that some of his statements are questionable, but... Ehh. Somebody said that he comes across as a troll turned white knight, and that makes sense.


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## The Mackers (Jan 14, 2014)

Other posts he has are pretty straight up normal, but that "Oh, I have lots of spare ramen, and, mm, a cyber-bullying calendar, Chris would appreciate that. And he wanted coupons... I have iced tea coupons..." is how I hear it too, in a condescending voice


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

The Mackers said:
			
		

> Other posts he has are pretty straight up normal, but that "Oh, I have lots of spare ramen, and, mm, a cyber-bullying calendar, Chris would appreciate that. And he wanted coupons... I have iced tea coupons..." is how I hear it too, in a condescending voice




Whatever the case... I want to see these scans of the calendar. He's piqued my curiosity there. I mean, unless he completely made it up, that's not really something you can pick up at Walmart or anything... It's so absurdly specific.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> trip2themoon said:
> 
> 
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> ...




Yeah we laugh at Chris but most of us just laugh at his crazy antics, I think you'd be hard pushed to find any of us kicking him whilst he's down. The Waterboy has been coming across as a smarmy prick and I think his recent comments/attempts at humanitarianism have been cuntish to say the least.


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## LM 697 (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> *shrug* Just throwing in my two cents. I might be a bit biased, because I have a friend who has Asperger's, and generally reminds me a bit of Waterguy.



Hi Anna.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 14, 2014)

Waterbaby is the strange point of metamorphosis from ween to CWCkian. I can't tell if he really means to help or if he's still an idiot in it for "the lulz."

Oh, who am I kidding? Waterbaby is an idiot. (though his motivations may be a subject of mass debate for a while)


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

trip2themoon said:
			
		

> Yeah we laugh at Chris but most of us just laugh at his crazy antics, I think you'd be hard pushed to find any of us kicking him whilst he's down. The Waterboy has been coming across as a smarmy prick and I think his recent comments/attempts at humanitarianism have been cuntish to say the least.



Ah well, I could just be reading him wrong. In any case, I wasn't trying to start a massive debate here, just offer an alternate viewpoint. On a scale from one to Anna, I only see him as maybe a four or five.   There is something off about him, for sure, though.



> I can't tell if he really means to help or if he's still an idiot in it for "the lulz."



This, basically.

As for any "Hi Anna"/"Hi Waterhead" comments... I've noticed people are starting to throw the   and   tags around for no good reason at all. I mean, I've explicitly stated that I find Anna's behavior disgusting-- it's just Waterhead I'm not entirely sure about, in terms of motivation.

EDIT: By which I mean, if it makes me Anna to TRY and hope that not every single person in Chris's life is a complete asshole, welp, then color me ginger and call me a dyke, I must be Anna McLerran.


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## trip2themoon (Jan 14, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Waterbaby is the strange point of metamorphosis from ween to CWCkian. I can't tell if he really means to help or if he's still an idiot in it for "the lulz."
> 
> Oh, who am I kidding? Waterbaby is an idiot. (though his motivations may be a subject of mass debate for a while)




You'd think someone his age would be a bit too old to be picking on a manchild for the lulz. he couldn't have picked an easier target. It will be a long time before he produces in real lulz though.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> As for any "Hi Anna"/"Hi Waterhead" comments... I've noticed people are starting to throw the   and   tags around for no good reason at all. I mean, I've explicitly stated that I find Anna's behavior disgusting-- it's just Waterhead I'm not entirely sure about, in terms of motivation.
> 
> EDIT: By which I mean, if it makes me Anna to TRY and hope that not every single person in Chris's life is a complete asshole, welp, then color me ginger and call me a dyke, I must be Anna McLerran.



I think that anna has brainwashed watermelon, well, not brainwashed, but i am pretty sure that anna told watermelon some kind of bullshit just so he will think the same as anna... because, anna is a manipulative bitch.

EDIT: i messed up the quote tags.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 14, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> > As for any "Hi Anna"/"Hi Waterhead" comments... I've noticed people are starting to throw the   and   tags around for no good reason at all. I mean, I've explicitly stated that I find Anna's behavior disgusting-- it's just Waterhead I'm not entirely sure about, in terms of motivation.
> >
> > EDIT: By which I mean, if it makes me Anna to TRY and hope that not every single person in Chris's life is a complete asshole, welp, then color me ginger and call me a dyke, I must be Anna McLerran.
> 
> ...


Well she didn't do a very good job, now did she?  


Spoiler



unrelated: why are there broken quote blocks so often on the forums?


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## LM 697 (Jan 14, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Spoiler
> 
> 
> 
> unrelated: why are there broken quote blocks so often on the forums?





Spoiler



Because some people fuck them up somehow.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 14, 2014)

CompyRex said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I don't think Waterboy intends any malice when he offers to send calendars or Dunkin' Donuts coupons. I don't even really think he intended any malice when he made those posts laughing about Chris in 2012. I think that he really is just a child. That's probably why Anna set him and Chris up, they are basically Anna's pets after all.



Yeah, this is what I was trying to get at; one look at his entire argument with Jon, and you could see that he functions on a "different" mental level than most.


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## Mayor McCheese (Jan 14, 2014)

Brokeback Mountain 2

Starring Watermelon and CWC

The story of the greatest autistic romance of our time.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 14, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
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Since when does " C" word" mean cousin? Last time I checked that meant cunt. I love Watermelon's post. It's like a kid is talking.


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## CWCissey (Jan 14, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
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Well considering who his 'C-word' is, I suppose it's not too far from the truth.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> Well considering who his 'C-word' is, I suppose it's not too far from the truth.



Just makes me think of Arrested Development...

[youtube]F3y00wvzeQs[/youtube]


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 14, 2014)

> "I tend to lose respect for people who lack creativity"


Says Anna who is pretty much every stereotypical hipster ever and on her Facebook page enjoys Call of Duty, Miley Cyrus and Lil Wayne. 

Truly one of a kind here.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 14, 2014)

I had another look through Waterboy's posts and if you read them in Chris' voice, he sounds exactly like Chris would if he heard someone's house burnt down and he wasn't trying to get in their pants.

"Well-uh... I got some ramen and maybe I can send a calendar. I could really go for some ice tea though..."

How long did he mourn blanca for now... a week?


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## Smutley (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Batman said:
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> 
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I argue that he did mean malice.  Because everything that he has done in relation to Chris / Da Twolls is to TRY and rile them up.  Like his open letter, spankity spankity, that no one bit at.  Now he's just being a jerk and acting like Chris to Chris in public.  I don't care who you are, "ramen and coupons", aren't "charity".  He's either as dumb as Chris or he's being an asshole.  There really isn't a third option.

Edit: While Top Ramen is "food" it has almost no nutritional value at all and has like 200% of your daily sodium intake.  If he was providing Chris with REAL dried ramen noodles and cans of top quality broth and vegetables this would be a different matter.  But no, he means nutritionally void packets of salt, sugar, and undigestable noodles.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 14, 2014)

Just for shits and giggles I googled and Amazon-ed 'cyberbullying calendar' on the off chance it was a thing. Unless Watermelon is hoping to send Chris this gem from CafePress 







or somehow got his hands on a free mini calendar from some D.A.R.E-esque elementary school program, I have a hard time believing he isn't bullshitting.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Smutley said:
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Exactly-- I feel that if he were actually genuinely against Chris, or attempting to mock him, he would do so in an incredibly obvious way (see: CWC's Twin Towers video, or any of the Calling Out videos). I know, that's Chris, not Waterhead, but I'm assuming that they function in much the same way, mentally. Subtlety is lost on them.


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## Batman (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Batman said:
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To be fair, I think Waterboy functions better than Chris. He mentioned a job in his tard rage at the trolls on Facebook last year. That doesn't mean he's cleverer though.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> To be fair, I think Waterboy functions better than Chris. He mentioned a job in his tard rage at the trolls on Facebook last year. That doesn't mean he's cleverer though.



Oh, I agree. I think Waterbrain seems much more functional (in terms of being a productive (?) member of society) than Chris, and I'd actually suggest that he's slightly smarter, but that's only because I've been following Chris for years, and have only seen Waterboy's comments on CWC's Facebook, so I have no idea what he's like otherwise. Still, I think we share the same opinion regarding how malicious his intentions are.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

Didn't someone state that Anna and Waterman compare hate mail over facebook? It may be making the best of a bad situation or getting off on the attention. It just seems odd that two people from the same family are both straddling the line between friend and troll.


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## HandBanana (Jan 14, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> Just for shits and giggles I googled and Amazon-ed 'cyberbullying calendar' on the off chance it was a thing. Unless Watermelon is hoping to send Chris this gem from CafePress
> 
> http://i1.cpcache.com/product/265555060 ... =460&qv=90
> 
> or somehow got his MANOS on a free mini calendar from some D.A.R.E-esque elementary school program, I have a hard time believing he isn't bullshitting.



He probably isn't. Waterhead, Anna, and Chris have no idea what the words humor or sarcasm means.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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Sent to them.


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## Elendraug (Jan 14, 2014)

speaking of _arrested development_



			
				CatParty said:
			
		

> trip2themoon said:
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> 
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I'm not sorry


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

The person who made the claim didn't have any pics so it can't really be verified. Even if it is true it could be taken as them just trying to spin a negative into a positive.


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## 4Macie (Jan 14, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> The person who made the claim didn't have any pics so it can't really be verified. Even if it is true it could be taken as them just trying to spin a negative into a positive.



Correct me if I'm wrong, are you saying there was no evidence to the claim that Anna and Watermen laugh at the hatemail? Cuz there is. There's a screecap of Watermen posting on Anna's wall about "I got some hatemail, I know how much you love it, you want me to read it to you" and she's like "sure! lol. I'm excited!" or something similar.


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## Thetan (Jan 14, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> trip2themoon said:
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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 14, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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I just never saw the pic and wanted to make it clear before I made the mistake of possibly passing on a rumor as a fact. It'd suck if I was passing on bad info and it somehow became regarded as fact like one of those "Chris was contacted by Hoarders" rumors. Marvin has to correct that all the time.


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## Picklechu (Jan 14, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> The Mackers said:
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In his "spankety, spankety" rant awhile back, he admits he used to laugh at Chris, then suddenly became his "friend" one day. My guess is that Anna convinced him to be "nice" to him or something. He probably still thinks the same way, just like Anna does. The only difference is now he can revel in internet attention.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 14, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> unrelated: why are there broken quote blocks so often on the forums?



You can only nest a maximum of three quotes inside eachother. People don't edit the content of their posts correctly, resulting in a bunch of extra ending quote tags sure to fuck up everyone else's posts quoting them.


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## cahoots (Jan 14, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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> 
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I saw it earlier, probably buried in the first Fire thread somewhere. Basically this is what it said:

Waterhead: Wanna exchange hate mail?

Anna: Sure go for it.

Waterhead: Really? Ok I just got one that said you are ugly.

Anna: how original.


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 14, 2014)

Fishkill said:
			
		

> Himawari said:
> 
> 
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For the same reason a "flasher" flashes in public.
He gets no reaction from anyone when he flashes in the bathroom with the lights out.

Attention Whores need Attention.
If they don't get attention, they stop believing in their awesomesauceness and realize how much of a toolshed they are as they scream into an unlistening void.


----------



## libertyoftheaether (Jan 14, 2014)

What I love about this situation is that Chris' supposed trolls have donated more to him than either of his supposed friends. Waterhead offered coupons and Anna has offered nothing.


----------



## Overcast (Jan 14, 2014)

As much as I dislike Chris, no one deserves to lose their home due to a fire. Here's hoping he and Barb get themselves back on their feet. Somewhat unlikely yes, but still.

So, anyone know what they're currently doing right now?


----------



## The Maxx (Jan 14, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> In his "spankety, spankety" rant awhile back, he admits he used to laugh at Chris, then suddenly became his "friend" one day. My guess is that Anna convinced him to be "nice" to him or something. He probably still thinks the same way, just like Anna does. The only difference is now he can revel in internet attention.



I think   and Watermelon pity Chris with a good mix of troll remorse. They look down on Chris the same way he looks at others that are slow-in-the-mind. They pat themselves on the back for giving ass pats to Chris and white knighting, it makes them look like good people with out having to do a damn thing. I'm pretty sure Watermelon is Special some how but he and Anna look at Chris as someone worse off then them, and it secretly make them feel better about themselves. They just ass pat to cover it up.


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 14, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
> 
> 
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I tried to be slick, but CWCkifying the following song is much, much, MUCH more challenging than I thought....but here's what I have so far, off the top of my head.



Sing to the tune of "Its the End of the World as we Know It (and I Feel Fine)"


That's great, it starts with a fire brigade, 
flames and soot, heart in pain,
Sonichu is not afraid. 
Feelin' kinda insane, watching all your shit burn -
regardless of your own needs, burning up your anal beads.
Yellin' for it to STAHP, stress grunt no, poop go. 
Fire raging crackle with sneer of spite, troll spite, 
comix in a fire, representin' the death of all your desires. 
and a losing fight. 
Fireman wasn't coming in a hurry with impotent medal
rubbing against your neck. 

[rest of verse 1]

It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and thats just fine.

[verse 2]

It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and thats just fine.

[verse 3]

It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of your youth as you know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and thats just fine...fine...

(It's time you had some time alone)


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## Horde Prime (Jan 14, 2014)

The Maxx said:
			
		

> Picklechu said:
> 
> 
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Hey. The Maxx is here now!  Man, you had one of the weirdest comics ever back in the day.


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## Silver (Jan 14, 2014)

LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
> 
> 
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fine I guess I'll be doing that one too :p


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## TheWhitestKnight (Jan 15, 2014)

This is my best guess at the floor plan of the house based on the tour videos.

This is important-ish because it has to do with where the fire burned toward the roof. I think we're all pretty much in agreement about where Chris's room is, though.

It's not to scale and I'm definitely not 100% on where exactly the walls are, though.



Spoiler
















zillow.com and the 14 Branchland Court article on the CWCki both say there are three bedrooms in the house. I think the music room and the craft room are technically bedrooms; including Chris's bedroom accounts for all three. This means Bob and Barb didn't have a dedicated bedroom, which is obviously somewhat odd.

In the second tour video, you can clearly see a window in the room he's facing, then he turns around, walks away, then turns around again and walks back, facing the room to his left, which has no window. Then he walks away again, literally [[HEXBox|turning 360º and walking away]]. Then he walks past the bathroom on his right to the utility room, which he films, then turns around again, walks down the hallway, and opens a door to the stairwell.

According to the first tour video, there are no windows on the lower level on the back of the house. This means he's facing a front corner of the house in the basement at the beginning. The music room is to the left when he comes back into the house and down the stairs to show it at the end of the second tour video, so it has to be where it is in my diagram; that means the family room has to be where it is, too. The only other place the utility room could be is where I show it, plus it makes sense given where he walks.

In the second video, he walks up the stairs and faces right to show the living room and the kitchen. It's pretty obvious they have to be where they are in my diagram. Then he turns around and walks down the hallway to the bathroom, then continues to his room, turning left through the door, then turning right to show the room. 

The craft room is never shown onscreen; at the beginning of the first tour video, he faces its door saying, "That was the craft room," and that he should fix its door.


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 15, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> This is my best guess at the floor plan of the house based on the tour videos.
> 
> This is important-ish because it has to do with where the fire burned toward the roof. I think we're all pretty much in agreement about where Chris's room is, though.
> 
> ...


Its a sad thought to look at that floor plan and realize that at least 75% of it was stuffed to the gills with random collections of crap.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 15, 2014)

SteelPlatedHeart said:
			
		

> TheWhitestKnight said:
> 
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It might be a bit of the reason as to why OPL's problems as a kid went essentially untreated. Barb was too busy doing her best impression of Smaug and Bob couldn't see the forest for the piles of shit around him.


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## Varis (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> The Maxx said:
> 
> 
> 
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Watergun, or someone with the same full name, once wrote on a public forum that he has Aspergers. (The pics are here somewhere but I can't dig them up right now.) I wouldn't connect his syndrome to the way he acts or argues. He just sounds a little naive, trying to be a "good boy" in a fight with honest assholes (Jon & his cumdumpster).


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## Mrs Paul (Jan 15, 2014)

Waterman looks almost exactly like a guy I used to work with.  So much so it's scary.


Oh, and forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but has there been any word of Cole helping out?


----------



## Ryan Rash (Jan 15, 2014)

Mrs Paul said:
			
		

> Waterhead looks almost exactly like a guy I used to work with.  So much so it's scary.
> 
> 
> Oh, and forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but has there been any word of Coleslaw helping out?



If anything, I'd reckon he's dancing in the streets.


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## GFYS (Jan 15, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> This is my best guess at the floor plan of the house based on the tour videos...
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...


I've gone through both videos, and I think you've got this narrowed down pretty well.  This makes *a lot* more sense, compared to previous layouts, as the square footage adds up better.  The plumbing makes a lot more sense, too, having the bathrooms stacked and the kitchen sharing a wall.  It was all his spinning that kept confusing me, as I kept trying to shoehorn the rest of the rooms based on where I _thought_ the bathrooms were in relation to the two things I knew for sure - the stairs and Chris' room.  This layout also stresses how lucky Chris and Barb were to have gotten out, and how Bob might have been trapped if were still living downstairs when the bathroom caught on fire.

Every time I re-watch the second house tour video, I see another can of air freshener I didn't see last time.  My skin crawls, and my eyes burn, at the thought of being inside that house without Tyvec coveralls and a full face respirator.


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## Johnny Bravo (Jan 15, 2014)

The number of people who think that this will ultimately be a positive experience for Chris boggles my mind. Since when has Chris ever risen to a challenge?


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 15, 2014)

CuriousBystander said:
			
		

> The number of people who think that this will ultimately be a positive experience for Chris boggles my mind. Since when has Chris ever risen to a challenge?



Dare to dream the impossible dream.


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## JFKdestroyer (Jan 15, 2014)

Mrs Paul said:
			
		

> Oh, and forgive me if this has already been mentioned, but has there been any word of Coleslaw helping out?



If you want to talk about people sending things like gift cards to home depot, I could see Cole sending Barb a $25 gift card with "YOU COULD BE LIVING WITH ME IF YOU WEREN'T  A LIAR" scrawled in the "memo" field.

EDIT: In other news, someone mentioned how in this picture you can see the siding peeling away from the house. What that looks like to me is the fire department had to rip the siding away to get at something behind it. Since that's a wall of Chris' room, I'm thinking that can go into the pile of evidence that Chris' room sustained more damage than the Lego High School "melting some".


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## HarryHowler (Jan 15, 2014)

CuriousBystander said:
			
		

> The number of people who think that this will ultimately be a positive experience for Chris boggles my mind. Since when has Chris ever risen to a challenge?


Even if he doesn't change his lifestyle one iota, just living somewhere without the presence of the hoard and its various occupants is an improvement over his previous situation by default.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 15, 2014)

CuriousBystander said:
			
		

> The number of people who think that this will ultimately be a positive experience for Chris boggles my mind. Since when has Chris ever risen to a challenge?


Positive experience is definitely stretching it, but so far Chris seems to be behaving like a normal human, and that's a good thing. Remember how many people thought he wouldn't be able to handle paying the bills? When his back's against the wall and reality gives him no choice, he does seem capable of rising to the challenge.
Of course, it shouldn't take your house burning down to make you grow up, but hey.


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## PrimeCutDiggityDog (Jan 15, 2014)

If losing EVERYTHING in a fire doesn't get this guy to change his habits then nothing will.


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## geronimo_smith (Jan 15, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> This is my best guess at the floor plan of the house based on the tour videos.
> 
> This is important-ish because it has to do with where the fire burned toward the roof. I think we're all pretty much in agreement about where Chris's room is, though.
> 
> ...



this seems really close based on what I've seen, but we've some info here that might be worth taking into account: http://www.sonichu.com/w/images/6/66/14 ... dCourt.png

so some possible issues i see are:

there's only 8 rooms, not 9.

the bathrooms aren't the same size. one is a half bathroom, one is a full bathroom.

that's a really big craft room.


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## Batman (Jan 15, 2014)

PrimeCutDiggityDog said:
			
		

> If losing EVERYTHING in a fire doesn't get this guy to change his habits then nothing will.



Nothing will.


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## timtommy (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> PrimeCutDiggityDog said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Chris changing his habits isn't the way I see this improving his life. I just think that that house and the hoard was bad in so many ways for Barb and Chris. As long as they end up somewhere with a roof over their heads consistently they will be better off.

The main question is whether Barb rebuilds the hoard. It is possible the fire made her realize her problem. It is possible she is not as physically able to build it as she once was. Even if neither of those is true, having the hoard reduced is a bit of a break.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 15, 2014)

CuriousBystander said:
			
		

> The number of people who think that this will ultimately be a positive experience for Chris boggles my mind. Since when has Chris ever risen to a challenge?



[youtube]UKjNVVmLCGQ[/youtube]

Dare! (claw) Dare to believe Chris can survive
He holds his future in his hand
Dare! (claw) Dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It's time to take a stand
And Chris can win, if he dares


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 15, 2014)

TheWhitestKnight said:
			
		

> This is my best guess at the floor plan of the house based on the tour videos.
> 
> This is important-ish because it has to do with where the fire burned toward the roof. I think we're all pretty much in agreement about where Chris's room is, though.
> 
> ...



I completely agree with this layout. It makes sense, and I wonder if Bob and Barb ever used the master bedroom (craft room) Technically this wouldn't be a master bedroom since it has no special features like its own bath or whatever, but this is definitely the room that most heads of the household would choose for themselves. The bottom floor makes sense as well given the family room thing, since most houses in the last half century also came with a den/rec room (and plenty of room for Charb to spoon!)

My only question is where was the back door? Fire code requires all buildings (aside from little ones like sheds and outhouses) to have at least two exits. Was the back door on the ground floor or kitchen?


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## 4Macie (Jan 15, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> My only question is where was the back door? Fire code requires all buildings (aside from little ones like sheds and outhouses) to have at least two exits. Was the back door on the ground floor or kitchen?


I always assumed it was connected to the kitchen and had stairs to the ground outside. I don't know why I think that (saw a picture maybe?). Though, where the backdoor doesn't matter because 1) there IS a backdoor so it meets code and 2) it was so full of hoard that it's not like they were going to be able to use it anyway. Sadly, this makes me realize just how close to death the Chandler's were. If the fire had blocked the front door, they'd be dead because they couldn't reach any other exit... that's horrifying to think about.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2014)

kengel likes the calendar idea.....


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 15, 2014)

Everyone is probably seeding a new hoard by sending the Chandlers packages of calenders and ramen noodles and crap. Well, que sera sera.


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## 4Macie (Jan 15, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> http://i.imgur.com/iS1MYeC.jpg
> 
> 
> kengel likes the calendar idea.....



I get that this is probably some form of trolling (liking the calendar I mean) but seriously, wtf is Chris going to do with a calendar? 
I'd like to know what kind of stuff he sent PRIORITY mail. Fancy.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 15, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> CalmMyTits said:
> 
> 
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Yeah, I always figured that the back door was blocked out by the hoard, I was just wondering where it was exactly.


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## The Knife (Jan 15, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
> 
> 
> 
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From very early in the second House Tour video, Chris says that the back door is blocked.  It's a downstairs door very near to the bathoom/Starbucks.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 15, 2014)

I'm hard of hearing so I can't listen to videos, any time a video or call was released on the CWCki I always had to wait for someone to transcribe it.

As for Chris learning from the fire and improving his life, I have to say that I am in the majority that believes he won't learn jack shit or change his life in any meaningful way (given his behavior since the fire) but I do still hope that Chris MIGHT learn something from this. I do want to see Chris improve.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 15, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> From very early in the second House Tour video, Chris says that the back door is blocked.  It's a downstairs door very near to the bathoom/Starbucks.


For a moment, that made me think of 14 B. Court as kind of the real-life version of the Cwcville Shopping Center Chris always envisioned.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 15, 2014)

I just now realized that my avatar is fire (The Dark Phoenix) and I changed this avatar before Chris' house burned down, perhaps I was psychically foretelling Chris' house fire?


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## Mayor McCheese (Jan 15, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> I just now realized that my avatar is fire (The Dark Phoenix) and I changed this avatar before Chris' house burned down, perhaps I was psychically foretelling Chris' house fire?



Or you just have good taste in comic arcs  8-)


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 15, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



There is nothing inherently special about "Priority Mail". It's a bit of a misnomer in that it sounds important but it's really just a form of flat-rate shipping the US Postal Service offers with a series of box sizes. Unless you're sending a lot of stuff, anything beyond the "small" box is a rip off as shipping for a moderately sized box (about the size of an Xbox 360 box) costs $15.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 15, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Yup, Chris states that the back door and porch were blocked off in the first house tour video. Strangely, watching it again, there appears to be a side door when he's walking around the house, but once again, his camerawork makes it difficult to see.


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## The Knife (Jan 15, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> I'm hard of hearing so I can't listen to videos, any time a video or call was released on the CWCki I always had to wait for someone to transcribe it.
> 
> As for Chris learning from the fire and improving his life, I have to say that I am in the majority that believes he won't learn jack shit or change his life in any meaningful way (given his behavior since the fire) but I do still hope that Chris MIGHT learn something from this. I do want to see Chris improve.



My bad, I forgot about that.  The Second House Tour is transcribed on the CWCki now and it's no longer getting slammed.


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 15, 2014)

I have to be honest for a minute.

At my first job, I almost caught the place on fire with the coffee maker before.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> I have to be honest for a minute.
> 
> At my first job, I almost caught the place on fire with the coffee maker before.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 15, 2014)

When I was about 12, I tried to take something out of the toaster oven with a paper towel and it caught on fire. But like I said, I was much younger and wasn't used to handling kitchen appliances.


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 15, 2014)

When I was like 4 I microwaved a dinner roll for like 10 minutes and it caught on fire.


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## rocket (Jan 15, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> I have to be honest for a minute.
> 
> At my first job, I almost caught the place on fire with the coffee maker before.



I don't mean to derail the thread but boy would I like to hear how you managed this


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 15, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> Cute Anime Girl said:
> 
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I forgot to turn it off when I was cleaning parts of it.


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## Mourning Dove (Jan 15, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> rocket said:
> 
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Lol at the idea of Chris cleaning anything...


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 15, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> rocket said:
> 
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Reminds me of how my mom always tells me to turn off the hair straightener. Fortunately, that's a no-brainer for me. :p


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## Princess Robee (Jan 15, 2014)

Just thought of something; we all have speculated that Chris might blame the fire on someone else (Synder, Megan, etc) and he has already blamed Keurig, but what about Barb? Might she end up blaming Chris for the fire? Just a thought.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2014)

Princess Robee said:
			
		

> Just thought of something; we all have speculated that Chris might blame the fire on someone else (Synder, Megan, etc) and he has already blamed Keurig, but what about Barb? Might she end up blaming Chris for the fire? Just a thought.




keurig has money she can try to milk. chris does not.


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## Princess Robee (Jan 15, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> keurig has money she can try to milk. chris does not.



True, but I was thinking more along the lines of just general blame. The next Facebook post from Chris may have him complaining that his mother is harassing him about the fire, saying it's his fault.


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## 4Macie (Jan 15, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
> 
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I was trying to be a smartass and I failed    Might as well go crash into slumber for a bit.
Though I guess my point still stands, wonder what he sent.


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## timtommy (Jan 15, 2014)

Princess Robee said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
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I see Barb as being more subtle about it. References to "the time you burnt down the house" as opposed to "Damn you, my son. You have brought ruin upon us. I cast you out and declare you to be a blot on the escutcheon."

I see Chris as being too dense to absorb the subtlety.

Also: Do we know Barb was not involved with the coffee/fire? I know that in the Emily date Bob mentioned that Barb also liked to stay up all night.


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## Pikonic (Jan 15, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> Princess Robee said:
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I've said this too, maybe it was Barb who put the coffee maker in the bathroom, maybe it was Barb who burned the house down. It's easy to assume that Chris did because he's stupid, when did Barb become the master of logical decisions?


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## ChurchOfGodBear (Jan 15, 2014)

Pikonic said:
			
		

> I've said this too, maybe it was Barb who put the coffee maker in the bathroom, maybe it was Barb who burned the house down. It's easy to assume that Chris did because he's stupid, when did Barb become the master of logical decisions?



Also, the hoard was primarily a Barb thing.  Without the hoard, the coffee maker would have been in a more suitable place, there would have been less to burn, and the fire department could have fought more effectively.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2014)

ChurchOfGodBear said:
			
		

> Pikonic said:
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exactly how the insurance company will see the situation


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## Phil Ken Sebben (Jan 15, 2014)

ChurchOfGodBear said:
			
		

> Pikonic said:
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Exactly. The reason it was there was because the hoard was blocking all the other electrical outlets. That means that most likely they had a lot of things plugged in there with extension cords running back and forth. That's just an accident waiting to happen.


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## Seahorses (Jan 15, 2014)

Phil Ken Sebben said:
			
		

> ChurchOfGodBear said:
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There is a Tort argument that could be made against the coffee maker even though the hoard was there. Basically, "but for" the defect of the coffee maker (if, hypothetically, there was one) the hoard would not have caught fire.


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## CatParty (Jan 15, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> There is a Tort argument that could be made against the coffee maker even though the hoard was there. Basically, "but for" the defect of the coffee maker (if, hypothetically, there was one) the hoard would not have caught fire.




the defect in the coffee maker is that it was more than likely, if not most certainly a goodwill second hand purchase.


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## pickleniggo (Jan 15, 2014)

Pikonic said:
			
		

> I've said this too, maybe it was Barb who put the coffee maker in the bathroom, maybe it was Barb who burned the house down. It's easy to assume that Chris did because he's stupid, when did Barb become the master of logical decisions?



Chris' stupidity and Barb's stupidity are not mutually exclusive. So basically this is how the origin of the bathroom coffee maker could have gone:
 "Chrishun! Put dat dere coffee machine in da bathroom so we will always have water fer it, and make sure ya leave it plugged in so dere's no fussing with the outlets."
 "Hm, yeah, dat's a good idea Mommy. You're _ALWAYS_ so smart."


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## Phil Ken Sebben (Jan 15, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> Phil Ken Sebben said:
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But they'd have to prove it was specifically the coffee maker's fault and not faulty wiring or an overloaded electrical outlet. The coffee maker might be the indirect cause, but I'd be surprised if it was.

Actually, I'm surprised they're using a Kerurig in the first place. They make reasonably good coffee so long as you buy the good stuff but the K-cups are notoriously expensive.


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## Andrew Noel Schaefer (Jan 15, 2014)

Phil Ken Sebben said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
> 
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They probobly just use it for hot chocolate


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## Smutley (Jan 15, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
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I'm pretty sure the only defect with the coffee maker was the person purchasing it.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 15, 2014)

So-- not sure if anyone's said so or not, but I've been following the thread fairly closely and I'm still not sure... Is Barb ACTUALLY going to attempt to sue? (I mean, I doubt any lawyer with any credibility would give her the time of day, but I mean, is that genuinely her intention?) I mean, I know it sounds like something Chris would do, but given that she's the "adult" in this situation, surely she must see that it's completely absurd, right? ...But then, I remember her theories about Megan/Snyder/The Game Place... Oy vey.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 15, 2014)

It's doubtful   would really pursue a lawsuit. She'd have to do stuff.


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## rocket (Jan 15, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> So-- not sure if anyone's said so or not, but I've been following the thread fairly closely and I'm still not sure... Is Barb ACTUALLY going to attempt to sue? (I mean, I doubt any lawyer with any credibility would give her the time of day, but I mean, is that genuinely her intention?) I mean, I know it sounds like something Chris would do, but given that she's the "adult" in this situation, surely she must see that it's completely absurd, right? ...But then, I remember her theories about Megan/Snyder/The Game Place... Oy vey.



none of us know for sure, but this is a woman who wanted to sue a chinese restaurant for giving her indigestion


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## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 15, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> There is a Tort argument that could be made against the coffee maker even though the hoard was there. Basically, "but for" the defect of the coffee maker (if, hypothetically, there was one) the hoard would not have caught fire.



Apologies if I'm sperging, but "Causation in Fact" is just one element of negligence.  To prevail, you need to prove all five elements of negligence. 

Let's examine how the elements of negligence would play out in "Chandler vs. Keurig":

1. Duty - YES.  Keurig as a manufacturer owes its customers a duty of care. 

2. Breach of Duty - MAYBE, BUT PROBABLY NOT.  Did Keurig in fact manufacture its machine with a wiring defect, and therefore breach its duty of care?  It's possible, but based on what others in the forum have been saying about the nature of coffee machines, it's not likely.  

3. Causation in Fact - MAYBE.  "But for" the hypothetical defect in the coffee maker, the fire wouldn't have occurred.

4. Proximate Causation - MAYBE.  Is the nexus between the act and the harm so attenuated, that it makes no sense for policy reasons to hold the defendant accountable?  Typically, this hinges "foreseeability."  Could Keurig have foreseen that its machine would be operated by a manchild deep in the bowels of Barbara's Hoard?  Probably not.  Could Keurig have foreseen that its coffee machines could cause fire damage?  Yes.  

5. Harm - YES.  The house done burnt down.

Even if the Chandlers could prove all five elements, Keurig could raise a contributory negligence defense to mitigate damages.  There's a very strong case that the Chandlers contributed with their own negligence to the harm they suffered. 

Further bad news for the Chandlers: Virginia is one of the few states with a "Pure Contributory Negligence" doctrine.  Under "Pure Contributory Negligence," even if the Chandlers are deemed to be 1% at fault for the fire, and Keurig 99% at fault, they can still be denied compensation entirely.


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## Coldgrip (Jan 15, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> So-- not sure if anyone's said so or not, but I've been following the thread fairly closely and I'm still not sure... Is Barb ACTUALLY going to attempt to sue? (I mean, I doubt any lawyer with any credibility would give her the time of day, but I mean, is that genuinely her intention?) I mean, I know it sounds like something Chris would do, but given that she's the "adult" in this situation, surely she must see that it's completely absurd, right? ...But then, I remember her theories about Megan/Snyder/The Game Place... Oy vey.


She's not going to sue. She may bluster at Chris about how that evil Kerurig machine burned down their home and that they should sue, but it's all shit talk. I think somewhere deep in that hoard-addled brain of hers she knows that a lawsuit wouldn't stand. As for the whole megan/Snyder/Game Place thing, I think she was telling Chris what he wanted to hear. After all, it's easier to confirm Chris' suspicions than to refute them.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 15, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> none of us know for sure, but this is a woman who wanted to sue a chinese restaurant for giving her indigestion



Wanting and doing are two different things. If it's not hoarding or napping, I wouldn't expect Barb to do it.


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## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 15, 2014)

Phil Ken Sebben said:
			
		

> Actually, I'm surprised they're using a Kerurig in the first place. They make reasonably good coffee so long as you buy the good stuff but the K-cups are notoriously expensive.



Don't you mean K-CUPS ARE EXPENSIVE!


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## Afriendlyhedgehog (Jan 15, 2014)

Chris can start a kickstarter, and promise us a 50 episode webseries in return.

It worked for Anita.


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## Andrew Noel Schaefer (Jan 15, 2014)

Afriendlyhedgehog said:
			
		

> Chris can start a kickstarter, and promise us a 50 episode webseries in return.
> 
> It worked for Anita.



Or a single issue of Sonichu.

Edit: Ah! But I forget! Per contract, you actually need to produce the thing. It doesnt *need* to use all that money see, or even be as good as promised but you do need to produce what you said you would.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 15, 2014)

Woody Chan said:
			
		

> Afriendlyhedgehog said:
> 
> 
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> ...



This is actually NOT true. However, you ARE legally required to produce the rewards which you offered your backers. There are several instances where a KS project was not actually delivered, and it's actually legal, according to the KS Terms of Service-- sometimes, a project simply self-destructs, no matter how good the intentions are. As such, those who donate (aside from those who are going after rewards) are doing so in good faith.

Trust me on this one, I ran a campaign of my own over the summer.

EDIT: Some more information...

On creator accountability:
http://www.kickstarter.com/help/faq/kic ... q_nav#Acco

On rewards:
http://www.kickstarter.com/terms-of-use

(Scroll down to "Projects: Fundraising and Commerce".)


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## JFKdestroyer (Jan 15, 2014)

I actually think Chris will blame Barb for the fire. He was clearly frustrated with the hoard, so I can imagine, once he finally figures out all his belongings are gone, him going into a 'tard rage fit. "If it wasn't for dat DAMN CLUTTER..."


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## LM 697 (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> So, I'm wondering if now is that time, the time to be concerned.



No.


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## Poosh (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Anybody know what Chris is doing now? I remember way back in December or so, Chris talked about how he thought about killing himself, and everyone said that Chris is a pussy who would probably never kill himself and would only pretend to think about it to solicit attention and ass-pats. They then said that the second Chris _stops_ complaining is the second we should be worried.
> 
> Well, given all that's happened Chris has been extremely quiet. you would totally expect him to be tard raging right now and yet there's almost total radio silence. So, I'm wondering if now is that time, the time to be concerned.



Naw. He doesn't kill himself 'till three Wednesdays from now; I've got it marked on my cyber-bullying calendar.


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## Marvin (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Anybody know what Chris is doing now? I remember way back in December or so, Chris talked about how he thought about killing himself, and everyone said that Chris is a pussy who would probably never kill himself and would only pretend to think about it to solicit attention and ass-pats. They then said that the second Chris _stops_ complaining is the second we should be worried.
> 
> Well, given all that's happened Chris has been extremely quiet. you would totally expect him to be tard raging right now and yet there's almost total radio silence. *So, I'm wondering if now is that time, the time to be concerned.*


No.

And nah, to elaborate, Chris just didn't threaten suicide on its own, he said that if he wasn't having to take care of Barb and the dogs (or something like that), he might consider killing himself. That additional detail about Barb and/or the dogs is important because it's the justification for why Chris would pussy out* as far as killing himself goes. (And of course, if he didn't have _that_ excuse, he'd come up with a new one)

*Or, well, by "pussy out", I don't mean that he'd start to attempt and pussy out in the process. Rather, he would never try it in the first place. But yeah, no one should take Chris threatening suicide seriously in the first place anyway.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 15, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> the defect in the coffee maker is that it was more than likely, if not most certainly a goodwill second hand purchase.


If that turns out to be true, then Keurig cannot be held accountable; Unless laws are different over the pond, second hand goods are void of any manufacturers 
responsibility.



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> Apologies if I'm sperging, but "Causation in Fact" is just one element of negligence.  To prevail, you need to prove all five elements of negligence.
> Let's examine how the elements of negligence would play out in "Chandler vs. Keurig":
> 
> 1. Duty - YES.  Keurig as a manufacturer owes its customers a duty of care.
> ...



Good post, especially that last part. As far as I can see, any argument the Chandlers have for this not being their fault will fall apart quicker than a leper in a wind tunnel.

Thing is, this is all dependent on Chris' account of the machine short circuiting or whatever being true. Remember, this is the same guy who thinks that the events at Thegameplace that lead to his court case were all set in motion by an elaborate trap by Michael Snyder. I may have missed some information, but do we know how he came to this conclusion? He's either done his usual thing where he comes to his own conclusions, or one of the firefighters said something like "it looks like it started in the downstairs bathroom, it's possible an electrical device started it... a short circuit or something" And Chris just took that and ran with it.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 15, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> EDIT: Some more information...
> 
> On creator accountability:
> http://www.kickstarter.com/help/faq/kic ... q_nav#Acco
> ...



So Chris could say "If you give me $2,000 or more I'll make ten issues of Sonichu" as his Kickstarter. Let's say he also had it setup where if anyone donates $70 or more they'd get a personal hand-drawn picture by Chris. If Chris meets his donation request he could just take the money and do jack shit. He has no obligation because essentially the bad reputation you'd get over it is supposed to be the punishment. However, he'd still have to honor or refund all those $70+ donations he promised to reward.

Of course since it's Chris he'll just ask for money as if it was a charity and get reported until his project is removed. Everyone's money would get refunded and Chris might make a pissy Facebook update.


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## LM 697 (Jan 15, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> snakesvsplanes said:
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Donate $5 and Chris will allow you to have sex with him.

No jerks.


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## Seahorses (Jan 15, 2014)

maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
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I am very impressed with this analysis, but given that this should reasonably be argued as a products liability issue, it falls under the category of strict liability. The simple definition of strict liability (for those that may not know) is "the imposition of liability on a party *without a finding of fault* (such as negligence or tortious intent). The claimant need only prove that the tort occurred and that the defendant was responsible." In addition, this is imposed, "... *regardless *of any negligence on the part of the injured." 

So...

1. The general test for establishing strict liability in tort is whether the involved product is defective in the sense that it is not reasonably safe for its intended use. The standard of reasonable safeness is determined not by the particular manufacturer, but by what a reasonably prudent manufacturer's standards should have been at the time the product was made.

2. Contributory negligence of the plaintiff is not a defense when such negligence consists merely in a failure to discover the defect in the product, or to guard against the possibility of its existence.

3. The defense of assumption of risk is available against the plaintiff, where it is shown that with full appreciation of the defective condition he continues to use the product. The hallmark of this defense is actual knowledge on the part of the plaintiff.

My last three statements were taken from Morningstar v. Black & Decker Mfg. Co., 162 W. Va. 857 a Virginia case that was decided in 1979 and is still considered good law.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 15, 2014)

Seahorses said:
			
		

> maninthepicklesuit said:
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So for Chris to stand a chance he'd need to get a lawyer that could argue well enough to the judge that this is a case of Strict Liability and he'd be in good chance for reduced damages?

Something tells me if he did win, the judge would award just enough for him to buy another coffee machine.


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## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 15, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> He came to this conclusion because he started it. He probably plugged in the coffee maker, the outlet then short circuited or something, causing the initial spark which started the fire. Chris, being the child that he is, probably ran to get Barb at which point the fire had engulfed the bathroom in flames and Barb, having hoarded absolutely everything she could afford except for a fire extinguisher, figured it was time to grab what they could carry and get the fuck out of there.



If I could be a fly on the wall for any 30 minutes of Christian's life, the fire would be my first choice without a doubt. 

My reason for wanting to watch the fire isn't some sort of malicious glee in watching Christian's home burn, but because there are so many details that even a fire report won't answer.  And I think these details are key to Christory, since they'd either rehabilitate our view of Our Pet Lolcow, or absolutely confirm him to be a complete waste of humanity. 

Among other things, I desperately want to know these details regarding the fire:
a) Was it Christian or Barbara's brilliant idea to put the Keurig in the bathroom basement?
b) How did Christian initially react to the hoard catching fire?  Did he spaz out and dissociate from reality, or did he at least make some sort of futile attempt to put the fire out?  
c) If Christian did attempt to put the fire out, did just he just do something completely retarded and end up making it worse? ("Hm yeah, I'll just use dat dere kerosene to put the fire out...an' den...an' den I'll use dese oily rags to smother da fire")
d) If Barbara was asleep, did the smoke from the fire wake her up or did Christian have to use the Pokeflute?  
e) Did Christian heroically escort Barbara outside, then run back in to scoop up Clover & Snoopy under each arm?  Or did Barbara and the dogs make their own way to safety while Christian was busy shitting himself?   
f) What were Christian's priorities as to material goods?  He recovered his wallet, iPhone, Barbara's meds, and possibly his 3DS, but in what order did he recover them from the fire?

The absolute best case scenario for Christian is that he was brewing coffee at Barbara's behest, something caught fire and he made a sensible but ultimately futile attempt to put the fire out, then when he realized the fire was beyond his control, he ushered Barbara and the dogs out and went back in to recover the things they'd need, with the 3DS as an afterthought.  I would knock Christian up like 5 whole points on my scale of respect if that's what happened.

On the other hand, if he made the fire worse, or if Barbara and the dogs had to find their own way to safety, or if he went for his 3DS first, then fuck Christian. 

If you take his FB note at face value, it does sound like Christian was fairly proactive in ensuring the safety of Barbara and the dogs.  However, we all know that Christian will warp the retelling of the facts in his favor, a la Rashomon.  CWC-omon!



			
				TheWarp said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
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I actually think Seahorses has the better assessment.  

It's a product liability case, and it's going to argue to a manufacturing defect rather than a design defect (because Keurig's design is not intrinsically flawed) or a failure to warn (because Keurig probably has some kind of warning about not operating near water).


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 16, 2014)

Nothing too funny/pathetic probably happened.

- Either Chris saw the fire happen or Barb or him noticed smoke.
- Chris was sent to investigate and screamed "Fire!"
- Barb told Chris to get meds, wallet, whatever before she instructed him to call the dogs and help her downstairs and outside.
- They get outside and call 911 while neighbors slowly start to come out to see what was up.

It'd be nice if Chris made an update giving his version of the event like he did with the Snyder incident. I imagine if we kept insisting he was smoking crack while having gay sex during the fire he'd write it up just to prove us wrong. Too late though.


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## GFYS (Jan 16, 2014)

So am I the only one imagining Chris or Barb throwing water on an electrical fire, because   ?

R.I.P., Teddy, Kimmi, Officer Nasty, Plush Boobs, Creepy Clown Doll, Megatron, and Optimus Prime...  May they find Valhalla.


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## Varis (Jan 16, 2014)

If neither Chris nor Barb were in the room when the fire started, then I think their pets noticed it first. I won't say that the beagles alerted them, because I don't know how common that is, but they probably ran out as soon as the door was opened. Lucy too.


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## Tragi-Chan (Jan 16, 2014)

I wonder if Chris and Barb are going to weave this into the elaborate GAMe PLACe/Megan/Greene County conspiracy theory? "If those DANG DIRTY TROLLS hadn't sabotaged the coffee maker before we bought it..."


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 16, 2014)

Tragi-Chan said:
			
		

> I wonder if Chris and Barb are going to weave this into the elaborate GAMe PLACe/Megan/Greene County conspiracy theory? "If those DANG DIRTY TROLLS hadn't sabotaged the coffee maker before we bought it..."



Normally he can find someone to blame pretty quickly. The Greene County conspiracy was one of the few times he had to stop and figure out whose fault it could be. Megan grew into a troll over time because of sketchy info from Bob/Barb and good old fashion bitterness from being shot down. Keurig might end up being the fall guy. Chris hasn't openly pressed the matter further so I don't know. I hope it eventually comes to light as to why he was initially so sure it was the coffee maker. I think it was within hours of the fire he was making angry facebook messages about them.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> I hope it eventually comes to light as to why Chris was initially so sure it was the coffee maker.




probably because barb said so. it's too sane to be a thought of his own


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## Batman (Jan 16, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> Megan grew into a troll over time because of sketchy info from Bob/Barb and good old fashion bitterness from being shot down.



Not to mention good old prosopagnosia.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 16, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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I admit, i had to look that one up. Chris is not only face blind but voice deaf too, when you take his telephone manner into account.


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## lisaface (Jan 16, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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It seems like the likeliest explanation is that Chris or Barb was using the coffee maker and saw the sparking at the outlet.  I can't imagine Chris liking coffee, so most likely he was making some for Barb at 2:00 am (because, why not) and they were both already awake when the fire started.


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## timtommy (Jan 16, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> I hope it eventually comes to light as to why he was initially so sure it was the coffee maker.



There are three possibilities. 

1. Someone was making coffee at the time. Making a cup of coffee does not take a coffee maker a ton of time, so the machine was not left unattended for too long. The fire started in the bathroom during brief period of time the coffee maker was making coffee. Even if no-one was directly staring at it at the time, it isn't a huge leap.

2. Noone was making coffee or in the bathroom. The blame was entirely random. Maybe the coffee maker was new to the hoard, or newly placed in the bathroom. They were thinking about something to blame, maybe someone mentioned the coffee maker, and Chris seized on it and ran with it. 

3. Someone did something really stupid with the coffee maker. I don't know how Keurigs work, so I can't hypothesize specifically. Maybe they left it perpetually turned on in a way you shouldn't. Maybe the coffee maker had a noticeable defect, like constant sparking even when it wasn't making coffee, that they chose to ignore. When they thought about fire hazards in the bathroom the coffee maker came straight to mind.

We seem to be assuming #1, with perhaps a dash of #3. Given that it is Chris, #2 isn't unreasonable.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
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i am talking about the blame. not the actual starting of the fire. for now, we'll say that the fire started at the keurig. now, since to barb and chris, nothing at all is their fault, it has to be the faulty machine that did this. just like how chris blamed bob for the "narrow passageways" and not his mother's hoard.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 16, 2014)

GFYS said:
			
		

> So am I the only one imagining Chris or Barb throwing water on an electrical fire, because   ?
> 
> R.I.P., Teddy, Kimmi, Officer Nasty, Plush Boobs, Creepy Clown Doll, Megatron, and Optimus Prime...  May they find Valhalla.



You're not, i thought that christian indeed tried to use water on the fire, becuase he's   enough


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## The Knife (Jan 16, 2014)

I don't remember if i brought up this point a hundred pages ago but aren't those Keurigs programmable?  Chris wouldn't have to be making coffee at two in the morning.  He would have only had to set to brew, walked away, then a few hours later he wakes up raises his head from Pogeyman and smells smoke.

Also, they probably bought that thing secondhand from Goodwill.  There's no way they can sue.  For all the company knows, terrorists could have planted a bomb in it between their factory and the Chandlers' house.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> I don't remember if i brought up this point a hundred pages ago but aren't those Keurigs programmable?  Chris wouldn't have to be making coffee at two in the morning.  He would have only had to set to brew, walked away, then a few hours later he wakes up raises his head from Pogeyman and smells smoke.


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## lisaface (Jan 16, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> i am talking about the blame. not the actual starting of the fire. for now, we'll say that the fire started at the keurig. now, since to barb and chris, nothing at all is their fault, it has to be the faulty machine that did this. just like how chris blamed bob for the "narrow passageways" and not his mother's hoard.


Yeah, the general consensus here when Chris first posted about the Keurig was that it was just about impossible for it to be the Keurig's fault, and much more likely that the wiring in that bathroom couldn't handle an appliance drawing that much power.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 16, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> I don't remember if i brought up this point a hundred pages ago but aren't those Keurigs programmable?  Chris wouldn't have to be making coffee at two in the morning.  He would have only had to set to brew, walked away, then a few hours later he wakes up raises his head from Pogeyman and smells smoke.
> 
> Also, they probably bought that thing secondhand from Goodwill.  There's no way they can sue.  For all the company knows, terrorists could have planted a bomb in it between their factory and the Chandlers' house.



You mean Megan, Snyder and/or The Man in the Pickle Suit!


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## Kyoosand (Jan 16, 2014)

GFYS said:
			
		

> R.I.P., Teddy, Kimmi, Officer Nasty, Plush Boobs, Creepy Clown Doll, Megatron, and Optimus Prime...  May they find Valhalla.



Can you imagine being a fire investigator and somewhere in the piles if rime-covered soot and Goodwill crap, you hear a faint "I LOVE YOU! I LoVe yOU......I lOve yOU.....IIiiiiiiI Lovvvvvvvvvve y-g-g-g-g-g-g-ug-g-g-g-g-g-g---uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"?


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## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 16, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> i am talking about the blame. not the actual starting of the fire. for now, we'll say that the fire started at the keurig. now, since to barb and chris, nothing at all is their fault, it has to be the faulty machine that did this. just like how chris blamed bob for the "narrow passageways" and not his mother's hoard.



Or how he blamed the paramedics (brutish, male) for stressing his father to death.  Yep - age and his physical condition had nothing to do with it whatsoever.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 16, 2014)

The Transformers fan in me is suddenly cringing because I realized that Megatron has probably been melted past the point of no return. It's not because Chris's was worth anything (well, to anything besides a ween or a Christorical Archive) but because you can't buy a G1 Megatron anymore because Hasbro can't (and won't) reissue it for safety reasons.


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## OrsonZedd (Jan 16, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> The Maxx said:
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Don't sell yourself short, Hordak.  I was totally amped to see you in the 2002 Masters of the Universe show.  Hate it got cancelled before you could escape Keldor's prison.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 16, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
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(edit, cos I'm slow-in-da-mind)


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## milkshark (Jan 16, 2014)

A few last minute thoughts on Chris's house fire... I can't remember if I posted on either thread about it, so I'm just gonna add to the already huge discussion here!

~ I wonder how traumatic the fire will ultimately be to Chris. Will he bounce back relatively quickly or will he delve even further into depression? Losing most of his worldly material possessions is probably a big deal to him, unless he enjoyed acquiring them more than actually having them. Considering he buys so many video games that he doesn't play, I could argue that he enjoys buying things more than actually using the things he buys. I guess we'll see soon enough.

~ If 14BC can't be moved back into, where will Chris and Barb live? They could get split up into separate assisted living/group homes, they could take the insurance money and get another place to live, or there's the possibility that 14BC will be repaired and they'll go back to their normal routine. I think returning to the hoard home is the worst outcome, because it allows them to stay stagnant and revert to old habits. Splitting the Chandlers up might be initially traumatic but would probably have the best long term outcome for both of them, whether they acknowledge it or not. I bet Chris and Barb could afford to rent a 2 bedroom apartment or townhome, but the hoarding would have to stop for good. I doubt Barb will ever completely stop though.

~ What if Chris and Barb get a decent settlement from the insurance company, and somehow Chris comes out on top? For instance, if the settlement is enough to repair the house, have the burned up hoard removed, remodel the kitchen and bathrooms, and outfit the Music Room with a brand new flat panel TV with a PS4. Imagine how smug Chris would be if the house fire was the life upgrade he wished for. Perhaps a rejuvenated Chris with a hoard-free home would restart the LoveQuest with fresh optimism. It could happen!


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## NiggoFiggo (Jan 16, 2014)

milkshark said:
			
		

> A few last minute thoughts on Chris's house fire... I can't remember if I posted on either thread about it, so I'm just gonna add to the already huge discussion here!
> 
> ~ I wonder how traumatic the fire will ultimately be to Chris. Will he bounce back relatively quickly or will he delve even further into depression? Losing most of his worldly material possessions is probably a big deal to him, unless he enjoyed acquiring them more than actually having them. Considering he buys so many video games that he doesn't play, I could argue that he enjoys buying things more than actually using the things he buys. I guess we'll see soon enough.
> 
> ...



House repairs cost an arm and a leg,  so unless the insurance gives them half a million they probably wont havr much left over to play with.


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## Christory101 (Jan 16, 2014)

My big question ( assuming it hasn't been answered) is when all is said and done, will Chris still move back into the burnt damaged old house?

Does he or Barb still have the deed ( or at least the title) to 14 Branchland Court? Will the state/health department allow him to move back in? They never much cared about the shitty state of 14BLC before the fire why should they care now? And would Chris, in a desperate attempt not to move on with life,squat in the crummy burnt old house, at least to be with the toys and vidya in his room that survived the fire?


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## lisaface (Jan 16, 2014)

NiggoFiggo said:
			
		

> House repairs cost an arm and a leg,  so unless the insurance gives them half a million they probably wont havr much left over to play with.


The most recent tax assessment had the house itself (not counting the value of the land) worth $93,100, so there's no way the insurance is giving them half a million, but there's also no way it would cost anywhere near that much to repair.

EDIT: The county assessment also says the replacement cost of the house is $122k.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 16, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Um, what?


yeah, went and replied to the wrong post.... doh.


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## fridgesrants (Jan 16, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> My big question ( assuming it hasn't been answered) is when all is said and done, will Chris still move back into the burnt damaged old house?
> 
> Does he or Barb still have the deed ( or at least the title) to 14 Branchland Court? Will the state/health department allow him to move back in? They never much cared about the shitty state of 14BLC before the fire why should they care now? And would Chris, in a desperate attempt not to move on with life,squat in the crummy burnt old house, at least to be with the toys and vidya in his room that survived the fire?


Their house looks like it is not safe for them to move back in.  I doubt the county would turn back on the power/water until repairs are done. Chris and Barb are not desperate enough to move back into a house with fire damage and no power/water.


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## NiggoFiggo (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> Christory101 said:
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I dont know these are the same people that lived with bed bugs since bob died, they both might be desperate to go home, thats all they know. The chandlers are just a wierd bunch


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## Kyoosand (Jan 16, 2014)

It sure has been a while since Chris' last post. I suspect either his devices have run out of power (and all the chargers are still stuck inside the house) or Barb finally grabbed the thing out of Chris' hands and threw it against the motel wall.


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## DangDirtyTrolls (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> Christory101 said:
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I'd be surprised if the house hasn't been declared structurally unsound. Apparently the fire burnt a hole in the roof and it started in the downstairs bathroom so that sounds like quite an extensive fire; the outside doesn't look _too_ bad but I bet the inside is another story.


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## fridgesrants (Jan 16, 2014)

NiggoFiggo said:
			
		

> I dont know these are the same people that lived with bed bugs since bob died, they both might be desperate to go home, thats all they know. The chandlers are just a wierd bunch


I know the horde was bad but they still had running water/power and a roof over their head.  The condition of the house are even worse now and I doubt they would even attempt to move back in.


			
				DangDirtyTrolls said:
			
		

> I'd be surprised if the house hasn't been declared structurally unsound. Apparently the fire burnt a hole in the roof and it started in the downstairs bathroom so that sounds like quite an extensive fire; the outside doesn't look _too_ bad but I bet the inside is another story.


I still think the house is going to be condemned tbh.  If it managed to travel from the first floor and blow out the roof then the house is most likely done for.


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## Marvin (Jan 16, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> It sure has been a while since Chris' last post. I suspect either his devices have run out of power (and all the chargers are still stuck inside the house) or Barb finally grabbed the thing out of Chris' MANOS and threw it against the motel wall.


Nah, there's just usually gaps in Chris' postings.


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 16, 2014)

So I'm guessing Chris and Barb will be homeless then? I always hoped that the two get some shelter instead like inside a mental health facility. And better yet, though I hate to say it, have their pets taken away and put up for adoption for someone who actually cares for their pets.


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## Smutley (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> NiggoFiggo said:
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They also won't get a release to turn on utilities until there is an all clear from an inspector who says that this kind of thing won't foreseeable happen again.  They can move in all they want even if they shouldn't - but they won't have electricity or water or gas.


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 16, 2014)

Smutley said:
			
		

> fridgesrants said:
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I wonder if there's some carbon monoxide in the house? If they moved back in their home, they'll suffocate and die.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 16, 2014)

As I understand it, CO is a bigger concern for houses that are heated or powered by gas. I have a gas stove (and my house is heated by gas as well) so CO is a risk for me, naturally. I don't know what kind of stove Barb and Chris had, or if their heating was done with gas. If they have neither, then I doubt CO is a risk.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Hey guys, look what I found!


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 16, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> As I understand it, CO is a bigger concern for houses that are heated or powered by gas. I have a gas stove (and my house is heated by gas as well) so CO is a risk for me, naturally. I don't know what kind of stove Barb and Chris had, or if their heating was done with gas. If they have neither, then I doubt CO is a risk.



Older homes tend to use gas in their stove and heating systems. So I'm assuming that 14BC uses gas. Last time I checked on Chris's videos in the kitchen, his stove seemed to use the gas system. Correct me if I'm wrong.



			
				skyraider91 said:
			
		

> Hey guys, look what I found!



House condition average? What kind of standards do they have in that part of America? Apparently, it is common for people there to leave shit in the front yard and let their lawn grow untrimmed.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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Before the fire, the value of the house was probably half what's listed, and there's no way their one acre land plot in Ruckersville VA is worth anywhere near $66,000. I think it's more likely that the government assessor was just lazy in his evaluation. The higher the assessed value of the house, the more money the Chandlers have to pay in property taxes. Also, he probably didn't see the inside of the house.


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## fridgesrants (Jan 16, 2014)

Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
			
		

> So I'm guessing Chris and Barb will be homeless then? I always hoped that the two get some shelter instead like inside a mental health facility. And better yet, though I hate to say it, have their pets taken away and put up for adoption for someone who actually cares for their pets.


Chris still gets money from the government through disabilities and Barb gets money through Social Security. They could always rent an apartment.  I do not think Chris and Barb are going to go homeless.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
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Exactly, I mean that's the whole point of them receiving money... to allow them to live. Chris may be shocked to hear that Friends Lego and Video game paraphernalia (both physical and digital) are not essential to getting by, but he'll have to accept it.


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## Cute Anime Girl (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
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That might be enough to afford a small apartment and other necessities, but this is CWC and Barb we're talking about here. Chris could be homeless and he'd still probably spend whatever money he got on Legos and McDonalds.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 16, 2014)

Chris can build a new 14BC out of Legos. Problem solved.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

fridgesrants said:
			
		

> Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
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Chris's   is at least $800 a month, and people are saying it went up to $1200 a month after Bob died. Barb is getting social security payments worth maybe $600-$800 every month, and a small retirement check, maybe around $200-$500 from the utility company she used to work for. So they're getting anywhere from $1600-$2500 per month in fixed income, probably closer to the higher end of that estimate. 
When I was in college, I lived in a one bedroom apartment that was $375 a month plus the electric bill, which usually came out to about $50 a month. I spent maybe $100-$150 a month on groceries, and the insurance on my old truck was $25 a month, and gasoline wasn't that much because I didn't drive much. I lived on $700 a month, for almost a year one time. This was only a few years ago, not 1980. Point is, if you're frugal, disciplined, and plan well, you can live on very little money in stability. However, I don't think that the Chandlers have any of those qualities. Neither Chris nor Barb can manage money at all.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> So they're getting anywhere from $1600-$2500 per month



My country is going to be indebted beyond salvation in a couple of decades.

Lets worst case scenario this.  Yes, it's a what-if - fuck you.  

Supposing B&C are found to be complete responsible for burning down their house, where does that leave them?  How likely is that to happen?


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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What do you mean, "in a couple of decades"


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## Marvin (Jan 16, 2014)

Cute Anime Girl said:
			
		

> fridgesrants said:
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Nah, again, like I pointed out in some other thread (don't remember where): some realities Chris cannot escape. Hell, he encounters them quite often, actually. Really, Chris bullshits his life a lot, but when he can't, he just blames shit on the person on hand (or if he can't, Megan or Snyder or whoever). And this is a significant chunk of his existence now. His life was a lot nicer awhile ago, but the pillars of his rosy world are collapsing. Bob dying, him losing his high school fantasies, debt, Oct 28, bills, etc.

What would be more likely is that Chris goes to Rocky if he ends up homeless, and she dictates most of what he needs to get an apartment. Now, once his necessities are taken care of, he'll start pissing his money away. Basically what I'm saying is that Chris isn't going to endure physical discomfort for luxuries. Physical comfort is a luxury to Chris too, y'know.



			
				skyraider91 said:
			
		

> When I was in college, I lived in a one bedroom apartment that was $375 a month plus the electric bill, which usually came out to about $50 a month.


Goddamn, that's nuts. Where I am, I couldn't get even close to that. Hell, even if I worried about getting shot on a daily basis, I don't think I could pull off $350.



			
				Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Lets worst case scenario this.  Yes, it's a what-if - fuck you.
> 
> Supposing B&C are found to be complete responsible for burning down their house, where does that leave them?  How likely is that to happen?


They're still likely to pay out in the worst case, even if it's a small amount.

But yeah, without 14BC, they take their tugboats and get an apartment. That's about it, I would imagine.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Lets worst case scenario this.  Yes, it's a what-if - fuck you.
> 
> Supposing B&C are found to be complete responsible for burning down their house, where does that leave them?  How likely is that to happen?


They should certainly be able to afford a small apartment together _if they don't fritter away their money_. They might not be able to afford having vehicles. But if Barb starts to horde again, I don't think any landlord would be OK with that. Barb's horing could get them kicked out.



			
				Marvin said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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Housing's cheap in Oklahoma, especially cinder-block apartments.   Also, while it was clean and well built, it was old, plain, and most of my neighboors were drug users/dealers. I didn't care though, it was cheap.   :arrow:
I'm moving to Newport News, Virginia in 2 weeks, and I'm pissed off that the cheapest place I could find is $525 a month plus utilities.


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## Marvin (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
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Eh, but I think she'd probably have a lot milder of a hoard in an apartment. You have less privacy in an apartment and I would imagine Barb would feel less comfortable about hoarding in a place she doesn't have 100% control of. Although, I guess she would get cranky and get really desperate about rebuilding 14BC in that case.

Or hell, depending on how retarded Barb is, she might try to get a storage unit and hoard in there. She'd still have all her precious belongings and she could just pester Chris to drive her out to the storage unit if she ever needed to take a gander at her Barbage.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 16, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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Landlords can also kick out hoarders if the conditions get so dirty that the floor is in danger of collapsing under the weight, it's attracting bugs, and so on. They can also refuse to renew the lease.

Oh god, hoarding in a storage unit...


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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We've got to remember that 14 Branchland Court has been in Chris's and Barb's life for around 30 years. Aside from Chris's time in Richmond, it's the only home he's ever known. Their emotional attachment to the place may run very deep, even if it is a horde-filled dump. Barb might decide to try to repair and move back in, regardless of their financial situation or the insurance company's decision. I wonder how likely that is to happen, and what would happen if she did try to repair and move back in?


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## Marvin (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> We've got to remember that 14 Branchland Court has been in Chris's and Barb's life for around 30 years. Aside from Chris's time in Richmond, it's the only home he's ever known. Their emotional attachment to the place may run very deep, even if it is a horde-filled dump. Barb might decide to try to repair and move back in, regardless of their financial situation or the insurance company's decision. I wonder how likely that is to happen, and what would happen if she did try to repair and move back in?


Oh definitely. The problem is that it might be infeasible. And not just normal infeasible, but infeasible to the point where Barb and Chris are aware that they won't be able to pull it off. Barb and Chris know they don't have infinite money (in fact, this fact is a big part of their bitching). So, if all of their dice rolls fuck them over, they'll definitely be considering alternatives.

But yeah, as far as the emotional aspect goes, they'll definitely be trying hard to fix 14BC. Any alternative living conditions will only be considered "temporary" to Chris and Barb, even if they end up living there for 30 years. (or, well, Barb probably won't last that long, but you get what I mean)


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## Lunachu (Jan 16, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> Or hell, depending on how retarded Barb is, she might try to get a storage unit and hoard in there. She'd still have all her precious belongings and she could just pester Chris to drive her out to the storage unit if she ever needed to take a gander at her Barbage.



Who needs a storage unit? This could be Barb's future.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Seems like they could find a place in the Charlottesville area:


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## Kyoosand (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
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Please. Let's not drag that Fox News "The moochers are gonna kill us all!" crap here.  There are lots of people on assistance who truly are deserving and they need it in order to keep from becoming homeless, or worse. Not everyone on Social Security is an imbecile who wastes it on blowup dolls and Goodwill junk.



			
				skyraider91 said:
			
		

> We've got to remember that 14 Branchland Court has been in Chris's and Barb's life for around 30 years. Aside from Chris's time in Richmond, it's the only home he's ever known. Their emotional attachment to the place may run very deep, even if it is a horde-filled dump.



Chris has despised his existence in 14BLC even as far back as 2000 (Watch the Greenville School Board Conspiracy video). He's viewed that house as a prison and the recent hoard house tour video adds proof to that. If anything, Chris might feel like he's been freed from that dungeon at last.

And BTW, it's not as easy to just get on Section 8 as you might think. First you have to wait for them to even take new applications (which might not even happen for maybe ONE day out of two to three years), and THEN if you qualify, you have to wait for several more years until your name comes up on the list. Then, you're expected to find a place that takes Section 8 within 60 days or your eligibility is revoked until you can try again when they open up several years later. What with the sequester and all the other Washington shenanigans, no doubt that amount of time at each stage has stretched out even longer.

If they do have to move to a new place, they're going to be more piss-poor than ever with having to pay for the stuff they had been paying plus now the added expense of rent. I cannot fathom how they can crash at anyone's house for several years while waiting for the Section 8 offices to accept new applications.

If Chris thought he was suffering poverty last year, oh man. He ain't seen nuthin' yet.


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## Ti-99/4A (Jan 16, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> And BTW, it's not as easy to just get on Section 8 as you might think. First you have to wait for them to even take new applications (which might not even happen for maybe ONE day out of two to three years), and THEN if you qualify, you have to wait for several more years until your name comes up on the list. Then, you're expected to find a place that takes Section 8 within 60 days or your eligibility is revoked until you can try again when they open up several years later. What with the sequester and all the other Washington shenanigans, no doubt that amount of time at each stage has stretched out even longer.
> 
> If they do have to move to a new place, they're going to be more piss-poor than ever with having to pay for the stuff they had been paying plus now the added expense of rent. I cannot fathom how they can crash at anyone's house for several years while waiting for the Section 8 offices to accept new applications.
> 
> If Chris thought he was suffering poverty last year, oh man. He ain't seen nuthin' yet.



Additionally, if they did get a Section 8 place, they'd have to have it inspected annually at minimum. In my experience, they're really really picky and meticulous. Hoarding is right out of course, but here's where it can get just ridiculous.

1. Didn't vacuum the night before: Fail
2. Your leftover   dripped on the refrigerator shelf= Resident Evil Fridge and you Fail
3. Any visible dust anywhere: Fail
4. Dirty shower: Fail
5. Pet smells: Fail
6.   smell: Fail
Plus whatever else they decide is an issue= Fail.
Basically it must be as clean as the day you moved in when the inspectors come. They don't take stress or I'M WORKIN' ON IT for excuses and if you argue, they just might show up again the next day rather than give you 30 days to correct it.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> And BTW, it's not as easy to just get on Section 8 as you might think.








Ain't that the truth.  Could explain Tomgirl.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

They don't need section 8 housing. They are receiving roughly about $2,000 a month currently, and a 2 bedroom apartment in that area of Virginia runs around $800-$900 a month. So section 8 housing is a moot point.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 16, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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Do we have any kind of insight into when the horde got started? Was Barb always a hoarder or did it start after she retired? I've always envisioned her filling her empty retirement days with trips to Goodwill, etc where she'd just buy shit for the sake of it and bringing it home.
Anyway, I think there's a chance that a new horde may not be feasible, with Barb seemingly immobile, and their supposed "poverty". I wonder if the hording tailed off in the past year or so.



			
				skyraider91 said:
			
		

> They don't need section 8 housing. They are receiving roughly about $2,000 a month currently, and a 2 bedroom apartment in that area of Virginia runs around $800-$900 a month. So section 8 housing is a moot point.



If they continue their current living arrangement, they don't even need a two bedroom place... they only need to afford a bedsit


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## OBAMATRON (Jan 16, 2014)

Why does everyone criticize Charbara for putting the coffeemaker in the bathroom? Other than shitting where you eat.


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## garbageraider (Jan 16, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Do we have any kind of insight into when the horde got started? Was Barb always a hoarder or did it start after she retired? I've always envisioned her filling her empty retirement days with trips to Goodwill, etc where she'd just buy shit for the sake of it and bringing it home.
> Anyway, I think there's a chance that a new horde may not be feasible, with Barb seemingly immobile, and their supposed "poverty". I wonder if the hording tailed off in the past year or so.


This is a picture of the living room as of April, 2000. While the horde was nowhere near as bad as it was at its peak before the fire, there's still alot of junk and clutter by a normal person's standards. My guess is that the horde started in the early to mid 1990's, and grew worse with each passing year until the fire.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

OBAMATRON said:
			
		

> Why does everyone criticize Charbara for putting the coffeemaker in the bathroom? Other than shitting where you eat.



For wasting their opposable thumbs.


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## PacSol (Jan 16, 2014)

OBAMATRON said:
			
		

> Why does everyone criticize Charbara for putting the coffeemaker in the bathroom? Other than shitting where you eat.



The long and short of it is that bathroom sockets aren't meant to handle the power requirements of appliances like coffee makers, and that it's worse with older houses, because their wiring systems are not only outdated but have likely deteriorated with age. [/not an electrician]


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 16, 2014)

Someone stated that Barb retired around '96 which may have been when the horde started. Retired and with Bob and Chris often being gone seems like the ideal timing for her to start hoarding. She didn't have anyone to spend time with so she probably would watch TV and pick through Goodwill. Probably bought ANYTHING that looked like it might fit Chris or appeared to be a good deal at first glance. By the time Bob and Chris moved back the horde was too big. Bob probably gave up after awhile.


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## OBAMATRON (Jan 16, 2014)

PacSol said:
			
		

> OBAMATRON said:
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Coffee makers don't use more than a few amps max. Most outlets can handle at least 15 amps, and the breakers are going to be 15 amps anyways. There's nothing wrong with having a coffee maker in a bathroom. I'm assuming Barb had some shit piled up literally on the outlet and one of the little sparks that everyone gets set it off, or the machine shorted internally and caught fire. Maybe Bob did some third world wiring with no breakers?


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## geronimo_smith (Jan 16, 2014)

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say they'll park a camper on 14 Branchland and live out of that. It's probably the most economical option available, and it means Barb doesn't have to abandon the hoard.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> Anchuent Christory said:
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> 
> ...


Was this not when they moved back to 14 B.C? I'd assumed the clutter seen is just from Bob and Chris moving their stuff back. Either way, it seems the horde is a comparatively recent thing.

(side note)
There's something melancholy about these older photo's, almost a glimpse of a more normal life for Chris.


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## The Knife (Jan 16, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> This is a picture of the living room as of April, 2000. While the horde was nowhere near as bad as it was at its peak before the fire, there's still alot of junk and clutter by a normal person's standards. My guess is that the horde started in the early to mid 1990's, and grew worse with each passing year until the fire.



To be fair, that picture was taken when Chris says they were in the process of moving between houses, so in this case at least there might be an excuse for that pile of boxes.  But fairly recently someone (might have been Marvin) pinpointed that yes, the hoard began around the time when Barb was living alone in the house while Chris and Bob lived in their apartment.  So we're looking at the first signs here.


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## Some JERK (Jan 16, 2014)

OBAMATRON said:
			
		

> PacSol said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Yep. There's basically no functional difference between a coffee maker and a curling iron. Both are simple devices that transform electricity into large amounts of heat through resistance. Sparks happen from time to time and it's usually not a problem unless you have combustible material piled up around the outlet.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 16, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The easiest way to tell what purpose those boxes served is to compare that photo with the 2009 Tour of Chris' House video:






edit: If you doubt this analysis I'll just point out that the window decorations seen pictured in A Week with CWC are _still present_ in the house tour video.

Double post, but our friend Thetan has shared in the Update forum a new sliver of light from this ordeal that shows that much like war, Chris never changes: http://cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f= ... ad#p159626

The short of it is the first thing out of Barb's mouth (that we've heard at least) is that someone -- _one of the firefighters_ -- has walked off with a "valuable" Salvador Dali replica painting. Apparently the Chandlers are convinced that after putting out their fucking house fire one of the volunteer firefighters decided the wanted to take a knock-off painting of melting clocks (maybe it was EXTRA melty  ) as payment. This, of course, is ignoring the fact that without a volunteer fire squad in the first place they wouldn't _have_ any "valuable art" to recover from the solidified mess of melted plastic that 14 Branchland Court was doomed to become. In Chris' defense, he explicitly mention it's Barb who has "theorized" and "believes" it was one of the firefighters that stole the alleged painting. Makes sense considering it was one of the "prizes" in the hoard that was predominately Barb's fault/property/fire hazard.

*WELP.* Is this the "I told you so" moment that the verbose non-donators have been waiting for?

edit: "Most lockable". Ahaha.


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## bradsternum (Jan 16, 2014)

So Barb thinks a replica Dali painting was stolen? What a cunt. A replica is worth nothing.


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## Spasticus Autisticus (Jan 16, 2014)

OBAMATRON said:
			
		

> PacSol said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



From Keurig's FAQ (http://www.keurig.com/customer-service/ ... -questions)



			
				Keurig said:
			
		

> Keurig home brewers use the most power during their initial start up. When heating for the first time after being off, peak usage is 1,500 watts.



Current = Power / Voltage.
1500 W / 120 V = 12.5 Amps. That's really pushing it for an old bathroom socket.


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## Globe (Jan 16, 2014)

So it took six days for fatty to say something that pretty much annihilated any bit of sympathy I might have had for him.

 Gotta give him props, he's done it in shorter time-spans than that.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 16, 2014)

An eldery woman can't find two items in a massive hoard? _"WE'VE DUN BEN ROBBED CHRISHUNNN!"_


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Double post, but our friend Thetan has shared in the Update forum a new sliver of light from this ordeal that shows that much like war, Chris never changes: viewtopic.php?f=27&t=3257&view=unread#p159626
> 
> The short of it is the first thing out of Barb's mouth (that we've heard at least) is that someone -- _one of the firefighters_ -- has walked off with a "valuable" Salvador Dali replica painting. Apparently the Chandlers are convinced that after putting out their fucking house fire one of the volunteer firefighters decided the wanted to take a knock-off painting of melting clocks (maybe it was EXTRA melty  ) as payment. This, of course, is ignoring the fact that without a volunteer fire squad in the first place they wouldn't _have_ any "valuable art" to recover from the solidified mess of melted plastic that 14 Branchland Court was doomed to become. In Chris' defense, he explicitly mention it's Barb who has "theorized" and "believes" it was one of the firefighters that stole the alleged painting. Makes sense considering it was one of the "prizes" in the hoard that was predominately Barb's fault/property/fire hazard.
> 
> *WELP.* Is this the "I told you so" moment that the verbose non-donators have been waiting for?



I'm surprised   has any interest in Dali. And impressed that the firefighters had time to go hoard picking while they're handling a house fire.


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## snowkitten91 (Jan 16, 2014)

Greedy firefighters? I'd love to see Kellie's reaction to this.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 16, 2014)

snowkitten91 said:
			
		

> Greedy firefighters? I'd love to see Kellie's reaction to this.



Yeah, it takes a special kind of greed to race into burning homes piles of crap for free in the hopes of scoring Goodwill finds.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 16, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
> 
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I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt but I would venture a guess and say Barb isn't exactly an art scholar. My brother, a mechanic, knows who Salvador Dali is and he works on off road trucks for a living. It's not so much that she's well versed in fine art but it's likely more of a "everyone knows who did the melting clocks painting" kind of thing. The only Dali paintings worth anything are the ones actually painted by Dali. A reprint, even one done on nice canvas, is worth effectively nothing. Of course, without any knowledge of art any random person who doesn't know any better might see melting clocks and say "cha-ching".


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## Pikonic (Jan 16, 2014)

I suppose it didn't occur to Chris that the painting got, you know, fucking burned. 
Also, how would Barb even know she had that? I mean, it's not like my parents paintings that are on the walls in a clutter free home where they could be easily located.
I'm not saying Barbs lying, I'm just saying....god dammit. 
Knock another point of my scale of sympathy....fuck.


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## Thetan (Jan 16, 2014)




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## Male (Jan 16, 2014)

A replica?
Is that even worth more than..like $20


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## Hyperion (Jan 16, 2014)




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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt but I would venture a guess and say Barb isn't exactly an art scholar. My brother, a mechanic, knows who Salvador Dali is and he works on off road trucks for a living. It's not so much that she's well versed in fine art but it's likely more of a "everyone knows who did the melting clocks painting" kind of thing. The only Dali paintings worth anything are the ones actually painted by Dali. A reprint, even one done on nice canvas, is worth effectively nothing. Of course, without any knowledge of art any random person who doesn't know any better might see melting clocks and say "cha-ching".



It must have been a Lumberjack leftover. Snorlax's taste in art seems more like she'd go for those 70's paintings of little girls with huge eyes and wearing prairie dresses holding flowers, or "Love is..." plaques, or velvet panthers. The surprise isn't that she has a passing awareness of Dali, it's that she'd deign to add it to the hoard.


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## Satoru182 (Jan 16, 2014)

Of course! I scout GoodWill all the time in search of valuable paintings, everybody knows all famous artists from history dump their unwanted paintings there.

Barb is the worst kind of person that can be!


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 16, 2014)

Satoru182 said:
			
		

> Of course! I scout GoodWill all the time in search of valuable paintings, everybody knows all famous artists from history dump their unwanted paintings there.
> 
> Barb is the worst kind of person that can be!



Barb's gonna pop some tags, only got $20 in her pocket...


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 16, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Satoru182 said:
> 
> 
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Actually, she has $911 in her pocket. Whoops.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 16, 2014)

I'm absolutely not surprised by this revelation at all.  Of course Barb is going to start claiming that her hoard was more valuable than it was.  And of course she isn't going to show any respect for the men and women who risked their lives to rescue their belongings.  When have the Chandlers show any appreciation for civil or military personnel in the past thirty-five years?

For those of you mad at Chris, though, consider that he's basically an echo of his mother.  It doesn't make Chris's words any less wrong, but he's incredibly impressionable and believes everything that Barb tells him.  Barb's influence is shining through so thoroughly in the last e-mail that I feel more aggravated with Barb than Chris.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

Fuck you, Chris. 

Double fuck you, Barb.


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## RP 520 (Jan 16, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> An eldery woman can't find two items in a massive hoard? _"WE'VE DUN BEN ROBBED CHRISHUNNN!"_



elderly *insane, narcissistic, delusional, asshole* woman can't find two items in a massive hoard.

I think the anger this time is misguided, this is clearly Barb spouting shit and Chris is probably just parroting it, so in this case the blame should lean more towards her. I would say that Barb will, for the next few eternities, accuse everyone that was on the property the night of the fire of stealing something from her precious horde. Chris, being the puppet he is, will agree with her 100% and add the fire department to the pantheon of trolls that are out to ruin his already ruined life.

Also I have a feeling Barb's purse was missing long before the fire, seeing as she hadn't been out of the house since mid 2013(?) and probably just kept the money made from retirement and tugboat next to her and would hand off some to Chris whenever she wanted q-sands.

As for the painting, this is another example of Barb and Chris's stupidity. Someone probably told them the replica was worth a lot of money, Barb, being a lying, narcissistic douche, probably said she knew a lot about art and collected it, seller probably quickly caught on that Barb was a total idiot then played with Barb's narcissism a bit to butter her up, Barb fell for it, was easily convinced and bought the painting for an obscene price, and thus Barb was ripped off while being completely oblivious to the fact ever since.

Edit: Second option is Barb being the same lying douche, knows the painting is worthless and her purse has been missing forever and is only saying it's worth a lot and claiming it was stolen so she can potentially get money out of the fire department.


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## Some JERK (Jan 16, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> A replica?
> Is that even worth more than..like $20


Unless it was a limited edition print which was hand numbered and signed by Dali himself, then it's basically worthless.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 16, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
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> ...



Yeah, replicas are the type of thing that only fans of the artist would buy, or teachers to decorate their classrooms.  Anybody hoping to make any money off a replica painting is in for a very rude awakening.


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## NiggoFiggo (Jan 16, 2014)

Or barb it could of have been a random person seeing how the doors were unlocked. Matter of fact if the things are missing you can guarantee it was a random person browsing the hoard. But all in all the crap my be lost in more crap


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> Male said:
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Everything in that house by virtue of being in that house is worthless.


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## Picklechu (Jan 16, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
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I laughed for a solid five minutes at "Barbage". Sadly, I can see her hoarding in a storage unit if that's what's necessary to keep her one true love (aforementioned Barbage) in her life.   



			
				The Knife said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
> 
> 
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That's what I had always assumed as well. The Hoard was a replacement for Chris and Bob.



			
				Thetan said:
			
		

> This was forwarded to me a little while ago.
> 
> So..... it appears that Barb had a valuable "replica Dali painting" which was probably stolen by a "greedy firefighter", along with her purse.
> 
> ...



"Crishun! Dey dun stoled Momma's treasures!" -  

It was _totally_ Kellie, you guys, being the FALSE and DISHONEST gal pal that she truly is.


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## Male (Jan 16, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
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Then once again Chris fails to understand the true value of his belongings.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 16, 2014)

Even if the replica itself was--by some stretch of the imagination--an item that could appreciate in value, it would immediately be undone by the doubtless damaged caused by insects, pet dander, mold, or even animal fecal matter.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

Good job, Chris. Bitch about the people who saved your house. Then wonder why you have no friends.


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## Picklechu (Jan 16, 2014)

Da Pickle Monsta said:
			
		

> Even if the replica itself was--by some stretch of the imagination--an item that could appreciate in value, it would immediately be undone by the doubtless damaged caused by insects, pet dander, mold, or even animal fecal matter.



 DIRTY, CRAPPED DALI?


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## Thetan (Jan 16, 2014)

I'm surprised that nobody commented on Chris mentioning that Barb is trying to salvage some of the furniture. Is the red chair the one she's most often pictured in? 

I guess the bugs, scabies, fleas..... whatnot will eventually be reunited with the Chandlers in whatever housing they wind up with. Some people never learn.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 16, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> I'm surprised that nobody commented on Chris mentioning that Barb is trying to salvage some of the furniture. Is the red chair the one she's most often pictured in?
> 
> I guess the bugs, scabies, fleas..... whatnot will eventually be reunited with the Chandlers in whatever housing they wind up with. I guess some people never learn.



Christ, you're right.  We're already gearing up for the next iteration of the hoard.


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## SilentObserver (Jan 16, 2014)

I've been a lurker here for a while and finally decided to create an account. 

I find it funny/infuriating how Chris states *"The doors were open for a short while before being boarded, not counting the front door which is still not lockable"*. Assuming the items were actually stolen(which I doubt) the fact that the house was unsecured after the fire means that anyone, not just the fire department, could have gained access to 14BLC and stolen the items; but no, the most logical culprit is the local fire department.   

Personally I think that Barb misplaced her purse and her POS painting was destroyed. Or the hoard swallowed both of them. 

Don't want to sound  but this is part of the reason why I won't be one of the ones donating to Chris.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 16, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> I'm surprised that nobody commented on Chris mentioning that Barb is trying to salvage some of the furniture. Is the red chair the one she's most often pictured in?
> 
> I guess the bugs, scabies, fleas..... whatnot will eventually be reunited with the Chandlers in whatever housing they wind up with. Some people never learn.



Hard to tell, but in these two pictures it looks like Barb is sitting on the same burnt orange-ish (the color, not the fact that it's probably actually burnt now) piece of furniture:


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## Thetan (Jan 16, 2014)

Da Pickle Monsta said:
			
		

> Thetan said:
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I wonder where they're going to keep it all. Marvin mentioned something about a storage locker. Maybe he had a foretaste of the future.   

How many storage lockers would it take to accommodate the remainder of the hoard? Typical retarded Chandler logic. With the money they're likely to waste storing a bunch of worthless, filthy, smoke and water damaged (and probably bug infested) garbage, they could go out and buy themselves some decent furniture; decent second-hand furniture at least.


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## RP 520 (Jan 16, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> That's what I had always assumed as well. The Hoard was a replacement for Chris and Bob.



Considering Barb's accusation, it continues to replace Chris and Bob even to this day. 

For Barb it's basically to hell with Chris and the pets making it out of the fire alive and cherishing the fact you didn't lose everything and that it could have been much worse. Barb's knockoff painting and purse are missing! It was those greedy firefighters! SUE THEM!


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## Some JERK (Jan 16, 2014)

I don't think this is really an "i told you so" moment to the people who donated. This kind of shit was inevitable, and i think even the people who donated knew this. Chris and Barb will _always_ have something shitty to say, and _will_ find someone to blame for _something_. They are perma-victims.


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## CatParty (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Thetan said:
> 
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Yes. She is sitting in garbage. Good thing she salvaged some garbage to lounge in.


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## Thetan (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Thetan said:
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Poor Desi.... I wonder what became of him. He looks like a sweet natured guy.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

Hey, Chris, how about you and your mother just fuck off and die?


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## Satoru182 (Jan 16, 2014)

I didnt notice that copy of "The Atkins Essential" a book about dieting.

And is that a snow glove with a picture of Chris? God he is so fucking narsisit! Is that a gift for her mother or somenthing shit!

Are those cookie boxes and M and Ms pilled beside her? so gross and disgusting people!


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 16, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> I wonder where they're going to keep it all. Marvin mentioned something about a storage locker. Maybe he had a foretaste of the future.
> 
> How many storage lockers would it take to accommodate the remainder of the hoard? Typical retarded Chandler logic. With the money they're likely to waste storing a bunch of worthless, filthy, smoke and water damaged (and probably bug infested) garbage, they could go out and buy themselves some decent furniture; decent second-hand furniture at least.



Brother, there isn't enough storage in all of Virginia to contain that horde.


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## Male (Jan 16, 2014)

Chris is seriously on of the most gullible men in the world, all it took is for Barb to claim firemen stole her shit and Chris instantly assumes it's the truth.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 16, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> I don't think this is really an "i told you so" moment to the people who donated. This kind of shit was inevitable, and i think even the people who donated knew this. Chris and Barb will _always_ have something shitty to say, and _will_ find someone to blame for _something_. They are perma-victims.



Brother, one doesn't donate for recognition or gratitude. Anyone donating should not have expected a thank you or anything of that sort. People should donate because it is the right thing to do. All the little hulksters know about the virtue of charity. The point of charity is to help others, not to get thanks or tax breaks (like The Million Dollar man tries to do).


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## A-Stump (Jan 16, 2014)

Asking for thanks isn't what charity is about, but donating to people who are complete douchebags is a downer.


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## RP 520 (Jan 16, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> Chris is seriously on of the most gullible men in the world, all it took is for Barb to claim firemen stole her shit and Chris instantly assumes it's the truth.



It was like that with both Bob and Barb, it's why Chris thinks there is some Greene County School Board conspiracy against him and why he thinks Megan started his internet infamy. Bob and Barb were the TRUE AND HONEST creators of many delusions and hammered it into Chris's head. If Barb says the CIA is trying to steal Chris's melted and charred PS3, he would believe it completely, no questions asked.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> Chris is seriously on of the most gullible men in the world, all it took is for Barb to claim firemen stole her shit and Chris instantly assumes it's the truth.



I've been around the CWC world for a long time.  I'm that grizzled veteran who chuckles when he does something idiotic, but am rarely surprised.  Somehow he did it.  My blood is boiling about this.  Blame the firefighters?  The insane old woman and her pet tard.  Well done.  WELL DONE. 

"Chrishun, the fireman turned into a bird an' flew away with ma paintins!"

"Mmm.  Yeah.  Da fireman... he tur... he went... he... he became a bird and greedily stole our stuff;;;;"

What the fuck are you going to do, idiot, when your string pulling puppet master idiot mother dies?  Who'll feed you your lines then?  Will you just continue running into a wall?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 16, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> Da Pickle Monsta said:
> 
> 
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> ...



Public storage places will not let you store items that are moldy, bug-infested, or otherwise hazardous to the possessions of the other occupants. They check for this stuff. Also, all it takes is for Barb to go delinquent on her payments for a short while and we may very well see someone on Storage Wars crack open the remains of 14BC and all the bidders just stand around quietly.

Except for the flamboyant old guy who shouts of "FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS" and finds "a replica Salvador Dali painting that could be worth thousands". Commercial break.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Double post, but our friend Thetan has shared in the Update forum a new sliver of light from this ordeal that shows that much like war, Chris never changes: viewtopic.php?f=27&t=3257&view=unread#p159626
> 
> The short of it is the first thing out of Barb's mouth (that we've heard at least) is that someone -- _one of the firefighters_ -- has walked off with a "valuable" Salvador Dali replica painting. Apparently the Chandlers are convinced that after putting out their fucking house fire one of the volunteer firefighters decided the wanted to take a knock-off painting of melting clocks (maybe it was EXTRA melty  ) as payment. This, of course, is ignoring the fact that without a volunteer fire squad in the first place they wouldn't _have_ any "valuable art" to recover from the solidified mess of melted plastic that 14 Branchland Court was doomed to become. In Chris' defense, he explicitly mention it's Barb who has "theorized" and "believes" it was one of the firefighters that stole the alleged painting. Makes sense considering it was one of the "prizes" in the hoard that was predominately Barb's fault/property/fire hazard.
> 
> ...




You know, when I made a post last week that Chris & Barb were going to lie on their insurance claims about all the lost original masterpieces they had by Pablo Piccasso and Jack Kirby, I WAS ONLY KIDDING!

Now, I see that Stinko McShartypants and The Blarb really are trying to pull some insurance shenanigans and find someone to take their frustrations out on. In this case, the firefighters who risked their lives trying to put out their f*cking fire!

Ugghh! Agggh. Hundreds of dollars donated to these dolts and they say stuff like that? God dammit so fuuuAAAGAGHHJN  afgnjidfaerpniv 'oljHJUIBOY*IVVFbuniug*





I just freaking KNEW that Chris & Barb were going to handle this sh*t in the worst possible way imaginable!


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## JarlaxleBaenre (Jan 16, 2014)

As someone here, Marvin I think, has said: "Chris will surprise you." I'm with the Hulkster on the matter of charity, donations etc.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 16, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> I just freaking KNEW that Chris & Barb were going to handle this sh*t in the worst possible way imaginable!



The consolation is that those two are all talk.  The grownups won't put up with their shit, and will give them exactly what they are entitled to and nothing more.  They'll both raise hell about it, and will cry "victim" for the rest of their lives, but they'll have nothing to show for it except for a greatly downsized Goblin Hole 2.0.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 16, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
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I agree with this, i knew that chris was going to do something to kill the tiny bit of sympathy that people could have for him, but i never expected this, a friend of my brother died the past year, and he was a paramedic, aside from his family and some of his friends including us, nobody gave two shits about it, so, i know what it means when a person risks their life just to save other. honestly, fuck you chris, you're really lucky that people like null and the other people that donated money to you, people that volunteer to risk their lives exist, because without people like them, you'll be fucked, god damn.

As i said before, i was expecting chris to do something to kill all the sympathy towards him, but i sure wasn't expecting this


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## A-Stump (Jan 16, 2014)

You know what else is the right thing to do guys? Not blame firemen for theft of your useless garbage. But people like to gloss over shit like that. Just for some feel goods.


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## Horde Prime (Jan 16, 2014)

See, now if I was just now registering for this forum, I'd take the name "Greedy Fireman"


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## Bigguy28 (Jan 16, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
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When she dies he will be like a Sim in the Sims games with autonomy turned off, he'll just stand in place and slowly starve to death.


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 16, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> See, now if I was just now registering for this forum, I'd take the name "Greedy Fireman"



Greedy Fireman as a forum rank!


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## Horde Prime (Jan 16, 2014)

You know come to think of it, talking about the (lack of) value of Barb's Dali print.  I bet the only stuff worth a damn in that house was possibly some of Chris's toy collection.


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## Shadow (Jan 16, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> You know come to think of it, talking about the (lack of) value of Barb's Dali print.  I bet the only stuff worth a damn in that house was possibly some of Chris's toy collection.



And even then, barely. Mostly opened, caked with dust and dirt (have you seen the close up of his legos? ew) and forever imprinted with the stench of the house and Chris'


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 16, 2014)

Da Pickle Monsta said:
			
		

> Christ, you're right.  We're already gearing up for the next iteration of the hoard.


Funny how they can't ever be bothered to prepare for the future when it comes to anything else.


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## The Knife (Jan 16, 2014)

Goddammit, Chris Barb.

ETA: Actually, I just remembered.  Dali signed thousands of blank canvases and pieces of paper in order to fuck with collectors.  People got hold of them and printed fake Dali art.  He's one of the most widely forged artists.  So we're looking at the possibility that the Chandlers got trolled by _Dali himself._


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## Smutley (Jan 16, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Well, I sure am disappointed that I gave my valuable money that I could have otherwise used to buy my own toys and video games
> 
> Oh Wait.
> 
> OT: This really just seems like a feeble attempt at insurance fraud. I suspect Barb is fully aware that insurance isn't going to cover what it would cost to have 14BC repaired.



Totally.  Until I hear Chris crowing about getting the house repaired or rebuilt, I'm not going to think that "the insurance is going well for them."  It's been a week, insurance companies don't move that fast ever.


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## rocket (Jan 16, 2014)

How long before "trolls broke into our house, stole Dali painting, set fire to coffee maker," you think?


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## Smutley (Jan 16, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> How long before "trolls broke into our house, stole Dali painting, set fire to coffee maker," you think?



It'll be the day our care package arrives


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## Horde Prime (Jan 16, 2014)

Man I would love to be able to talk to or somehow communicate with people from Barb's past.  It is telling that people seem to have cut her off, but I'd just like to know details. Like I wonder if she was always so mean and crazy.  If so, was it obvious to even casual acquaintances like people she worked with?  It is rather fascinating to me.


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## Hyperion (Jan 16, 2014)

EleSigma said:
			
		

> Edit: Second option is Barb being the same lying douche, knows the painting is worthless and her purse has been missing forever and is only saying it's worth a lot and claiming it was stolen so she can potentially get money out of the fire department.



I wonder if its some sort of hare brained scam. "We dun hadda Dali in dere!" would be very a very Weston thing to tell an insurance claims inspector.

Then when the original Dali she's claiming to have is noted to be in the same museum/private collection is has been for the last 40 years, it will all be a terrible misunderstanding and please don't call the JERKOPS.


----------



## _blank_ (Jan 16, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL, I hope you won't mind me using your always charming facade for this post, and this isn't an "I told you so," but... the Charity-honeymoon-thing that was sweeping through the last few days?








Seriously Chris. We all knew you were going to say or do something boneheaded. But to just come out and blame the people that SAVED YOUR ASS AND PREVENTED YOUR ENTIRE HOUSE FROM TURNING INTO A CHARRED HEAP or stealing from your mother's horde? Just... . Yeah, I know that's what his mommy said, but we know Chris is essentially a parrot of whatever she says. Seriously, are they going on the troll list of all the people who wronged you? Along with the girls that put up with your nasty, selfish ego, and the store owner who only kicked you out instead of throwing criminal charges on you? Do the firefighters get to be there too because somehow things disappeared somewhere inside of a burning building? 

Oh, and saving the furniture? Yeah, because nothing makes more sense than saving furniture that will probably reek of smoke and ash. Brilliant thinking that. Gotta start Horde 2.0 on a high note!


----------



## bradsternum (Jan 17, 2014)

Apparently, it's impossible that the Dali painting might have been BURNED IN THE FUCKING FIRE?!


----------



## rocket (Jan 17, 2014)

I gotta admit the whole valuable painting thing and a curiously missing purse - which no doubt had phat stacks piled up inside - just stinks to high heaven. And it's _classic_ Barb.

We all knew something like this was coming


----------



## LM 697 (Jan 17, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> Apparently, it's impossible that the Dali painting might have been BURNED IN THE FUCKING FIRE?!



Or it didn't exist.

"Dammit, Chrisshun, them black ass firefightas musta taken 'em priceless jewels and sacks o' gold."


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

Pissant Soldier said:
			
		

> "Dammit, Chrisshun, them black ass firefightas musta taken 'em priceless jewels and sacks o' gold."



"Mmm.  Yeah!"


----------



## impossibility (Jan 17, 2014)

I'm just surprised the print in question is something interesting like Dali and not some Thomas Kinkade or similar garbage.


----------



## Descent (Jan 17, 2014)

Oh my god! Someone stole Barb's valuable Dali painting and replaced it with a burned canvas. I have some Tom of Finland artwork I can send them to help ease the pain.


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 17, 2014)

I can dookie on a paining of Jesus and send it to them to help ease their pain of having lost their fine art.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 17, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> Apparently, it's impossible that the Dali painting might have been BURNED IN THE FUCKING FIRE?!


Or it simply got knocked off of the wall during the effort to extinguish the fire, and is just lost somewhere in the hoard. Shit, who knows, maybe one of the firefighters actually looked at it and said _"man that's a nice print, it would be a shame if it got destroyed."_ and set it safely aside somewhere, figuring that it would eventually be recovered when the Chandlers were able to start recovering their property.

The problem is that Barbs immediate response is to blame someone else of wrongdoing.


----------



## DrChristianTroy (Jan 17, 2014)

Less than a week. LESS. THAN. A. WEEK.


----------



## boixosnois (Jan 17, 2014)

Isn't it almost imposible for a firefighter to steal something as big as a "Dali" painting, or a purse? I mean, yeah, I could understand if they actually said something about stealing money, or jewels (if    actually had), or even a 3DS/PSP.
But a shitty painting and a bug-infested purse? Where could a firefighter hide those succesfully without anyone noticing?

God fucking dammit Chris, go fuck yourself with your melted vibrators.


----------



## Bob's Fries (Jan 17, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Double post, but our friend Thetan has shared in the Update forum a new sliver of light from this ordeal that shows that much like war, Chris never changes: http://cwckiforums.com/viewtopic.php?f= ... ad#p159626
> 
> The short of it is the first thing out of Barb's mouth (that we've heard at least) is that someone -- _one of the firefighters_ -- has walked off with a "valuable" Salvador Dali replica painting. Apparently the Chandlers are convinced that after putting out their fucking house fire one of the volunteer firefighters decided the wanted to take a knock-off painting of melting clocks (maybe it was EXTRA melty  ) as payment. This, of course, is ignoring the fact that without a volunteer fire squad in the first place they wouldn't _have_ any "valuable art" to recover from the solidified mess of melted plastic that 14 Branchland Court was doomed to become. In Chris' defense, he explicitly mention it's Barb who has "theorized" and "believes" it was one of the firefighters that stole the alleged painting. Makes sense considering it was one of the "prizes" in the hoard that was predominately Barb's fault/property/fire hazard.
> 
> ...



Been gone for a while and I see this. Godfuckingdammit Chris.

[youtube]HsqmU3v0hVA[/youtube]


----------



## deeman (Jan 17, 2014)

Chris the parrot. A childrens book about not being a ASSHOLE.


----------



## Horde Prime (Jan 17, 2014)

I figured Barb's taste in art would be more along these lines.


----------



## Bob's Fries (Jan 17, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> crimsonarenz said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It really is. I heard that someone is going to let one of the firefighters know about that message. I'm waiting with bated breath to hear what she has to say.


----------



## Daario Naharis (Jan 17, 2014)

Wow. Accusing firemen of stealing from you...

I haven't been following this as closely as I once would have, but damn is that a nice thing to join the forums with.


----------



## SilentObserver (Jan 17, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> How long before "trolls broke into our house, stole Dali painting, set fire to coffee maker," you think?


Don't you see? 

This was all an elaborate scheme by the Ruckersville FD in order for them to steal priceless works of art worth literally tens of dollars from 14BLC. They broke in, stole the Dali painting, fiddled with the coffee maker, and then came back later to put out the fire to throw the blame off of themselves. It would've been the perfect crime if the ever-vigilant Barb hadn't connected the dots.


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 17, 2014)

_blank_ said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL, I hope you won't mind me using your always charming facade for this post, and this isn't an "I told you so," but... the Charity-honeymoon-thing that was sweeping through the last few days?
> 
> http://media.giphy.com/media/rqSrBWn4xyPNm/giphy.gif
> 
> ...



I don't mind at all. Always nice to see a Jeff .GIF once in a while (say it aloud).

If the firefighters make Chris' shit list I think anyone who had any semblance of pity for Chris might reconsider, myself included. Firefighters are some of the most selfless people on the planet, case in point _one of them was even injured in that mess_ just so they could extinguish what had to have been an illegal trash burning.

There are some curious theories developing post-Dali update. Either the Chandler's house was looted by the opposite of a generous neighbor or Barb is literally attempting insurance fraud. Unless she has paperwork documenting the sale of an expensive painting no one is going to believe her.* If she was actually an art collector instead of a dumpster diver the gallery or private collector she bought the painting from would have their copy of the transaction on record (due to the fact hers would have been lost in the fire). I'm giving Barb too much credit here because we all know that painting came from a Goodwill.

We could always call upon Dr. Bean to come stealthily replace a damaged painting, though.

*In my dealings with insurance you had to demonstrate ownership of something and then you were granted permission to fill in the blanks with things that were actually lost or stolen. I've dealt with theft and fire in my lifetime and in both cases showing recovered items was good enough for proof of ownership. Receipts are preferred, but for example me having the box, manuals, and charging cable of a GPS was proof enough that I in fact owned one at one point in time (it was stolen).


----------



## NiggoFiggo (Jan 17, 2014)

Chris honey if you had a priceless painting you wouldn't be trying to sell porn dvds for 1000gs


----------



## garbageraider (Jan 17, 2014)

EleSigma said:
			
		

> Considering Barb's accusation, it continues to replace Chris and Bob even to this day.
> For Barb it's basically to hell with Chris and the pets making it out of the fire alive and cherishing the fact you didn't lose everything and that it could have been much worse. Barb's knockoff painting and purse are missing! It was those greedy firefighters! SUE THEM!


I'd love to see the Chandlers try to sue their local fire department, because it would show the people in Ruckersville what huge scumbags the Chandlers really are.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

NiggoFiggo said:
			
		

> Chris honey if you had a priceless painting you wouldn't be trying to sell porn dvds for 1000gs



A hoarder never sells their 'valuable items'.  They just leave them in their hoard and pretend they're wealthy.  Barb really is insane.


----------



## garbageraider (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> . . . . .What the fuck are you going to do, idiot, when your string pulling puppet master idiot mother dies?  Who'll feed you your lines then?  Will you just continue running into a wall?


My guess is that yes, he'll probably just continue running into that wall.


----------



## qld (Jan 17, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> Less than a week. LESS. THAN. A. WEEK.



Would've been sooner, but he had to wait on the donation drive to end and give it enough time to be on its way.


----------



## Thetan (Jan 17, 2014)

Somewhat OT.....

The Ruckersville Volunteer Fire Department has a FB page. Someone posted the most recent tour of Chris's house. (There's a bland / generic comment from a member of the Greene County Board of Supervisors as well.)


----------



## Horde Prime (Jan 17, 2014)

Hmm. I believe that Ed Zachary may also have been posting about Chris on the Keurig FB page.


----------



## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 17, 2014)

And all this time, I was expecting the Chandlers to squander the community's goodwill by making unreasonable demands regarding charitable donations.  I figured they'd slowly but surely wear out their welcome.  

Yet once again, the Chandlers have managed to find the shortest and most egregious path to failure.  I expect them to fail one way, and they manage to fail more effectively than anyone could ever have imagined.

This is why I keep coming back.


----------



## boixosnois (Jan 17, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> Somewhat OT.....
> 
> The Ruckersville Volunteer Fire Department has a FB page. Someone posted the most recent tour of Chris's house. (There's a bland / generic comment from a member of the Greene County Board of Supervisors as well.)
> 
> http://i.imgur.com/eotuw0h.png


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 17, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Horde Prime said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ed Zachary was the ween who posted a one star review of Chris' church while spouting out some generalized CWCisms and whatnot.


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 17, 2014)

Could Eddie be the next  ?


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 17, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> Could Eddie be the next  ?



Seems like a throwaway account to me. Asian picture, and the name "Ed Zachary" is part of a racial joke involving an Asian doctor whose punchline is "your face rook Ed Zachary rike your butt" or something to that extent.


----------



## XYZpdq (Jan 17, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Please. Let's not drag that Fox News "The moochers are gonna kill us all!" crap here.


It could be MSNBC "The rich people aren't giving moochers enough money" crap.


			
				sikotik said:
			
		

> Additionally, if they did get a Section 8 place, they'd have to have it inspected annually at minimum. In my experience, they're really really picky and meticulous.


It depends. I had Section 8 for ages. They certainly come through (I got it every 6 months I think) but they weren't as thorough as you got it. Certainly couldn't have gotten a big pile of crap going but I had my fair share of dust.


			
				JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> a "valuable" Salvador Dali replica painting


I read a Dali bio in... Big Book Of Weirdos, I think. Where they had a quote from him about the lithographs that were made of his work. The gist was "If people want to make worthless copies of my work and other people want to buy it who am I to stop them?" That's not the exact words but the punchline remains "lol Dali himself said that shit ain't worth nothin."


			
				The Knife said:
			
		

> Dali signed thousands of blank canvases and pieces of paper in order to fuck with collectors.  People got hold of them and printed fake Dali art.  He's one of the most widely forged artists.  So we're looking at the possibility that the Chandlers got trolled by _Dali himself._


Yeah, that's how it went in the thing I read. And I am very okay with Dali being the secret Emperor of the Trolls.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> There are some curious theories developing post-Dali update. Either the Chandler's house was looted by the opposite of a generous neighbor or Barb is literally attempting insurance fraud. Unless she has paperwork documenting the sale of an expensive painting no one is going to believe her.* If she was actually an art collector instead of a dumpster diver the gallery or private collector she bought the painting from would have their copy of the transaction on record (due to the fact hers would have been lost in the fire). I'm giving Barb too much credit here because we all know that painting came from a Goodwill.


For all we know the painting in question might have been some cheap-ass goodwill Monet she picked up and called a Dali because Dali was the only famous painter she knew of. Or it was never there to begin with. Of course considering Chris mentioned that it was a replica, even if it was damaged or stolen, no insurance company is going to pay out top dollar for something that could be bought off one of the discount selves at wal-mart.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 17, 2014)

It is kinda ironic that Chris, champion of "If it isn't a TRUE and HONEST, hand drawn ORIGINAL it doesn't count!" is talking about how valuable their copy of famous artwork was.


----------



## Greg Sestero (Jan 17, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> It is kinda ironic that Chris, champion of "If it isn't a TRUE and HONEST, hand drawn ORIGINAL it doesn't count!" is talking about how valuable their copy of famous artwork was.



Chris doesn't seem to particularly care about hypocrisy or reciprocity. Note how Asperchu is a dang dirty parody, whereas Sonichu is legal because it's just a parody.


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 17, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Bleh. The only thing worse than funny racism is unfunny racism. 

Yep, this   is worse off than Chris.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> It is kinda ironic that Chris, champion of "If it isn't a TRUE and HONEST, hand drawn ORIGINAL it doesn't count!" is talking about how valuable their copy of famous artwork was.


And now we know where he got it from   .


----------



## BatNapalm (Jan 17, 2014)

I wonder if the fireTHIEVES divvied up their stolen loot with the jerkops. I bet they made off with the $1000 porn collection too...


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 17, 2014)

...Goddammit Chandlers...

Although, is anyone interested in buying a replica of Melty Clocks I, uh, recovered after it fell off the back of a lorry?


----------



## Varis (Jan 17, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Public storage places will not let you store items that are moldy, bug-infested, or otherwise hazardous to the possessions of the other occupants. They check for this stuff. Also, all it takes is for Barb to go delinquent on her payments for a short while and we may very well see someone on Storage Wars crack open the remains of 14BC and all the bidders just stand around quietly.
> 
> Except for the flamboyant old guy who shouts of "FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS" and finds "a replica Salvador Dali painting that could be worth thousands". Commercial break.


Worst episode of Storage Wars evar. I'm certain that Barb thinks that the replica is valuable because she paid so much for it, orrrr because she painted it herself. 

As for the thieving firemen... I've seen that episode of the Simpsons.


----------



## Giovanni (Jan 17, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> They don't need section 8 housing.



I'm sorry, but when I see the phrase "Section 8" in a discussion about Chris, I can only think of one thing.



Spoiler











Of course, Klinger looks a lot better in a dress than Chris. And he was only faking being crazy.

And yeah, seriously, Chris can go fuck himself. You feel bad about the fire? You want to donate to help? Donate to firefighters. They deserve it a hell of a lot more.


----------



## Smutley (Jan 17, 2014)

Question: with the blanked out names in the email I'm not sure who was asking for a donation drive?  Is it possible Anna was emailing the high school class trying to guilt them into doing something?


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 17, 2014)

We should have sent Chris $911 worth of Axe body spray and Taco Bell gift cards just to punish Barb.


----------



## Horde Prime (Jan 17, 2014)

Smutley said:
			
		

> Question: with the blanked out names in the email I'm not sure who was asking for a donation drive?  Is it possible Anna was emailing the high school class trying to guilt them into doing something?



That is my impression.  And I think in the prior email released it was Anna saying "I thought you'd want to know.  I'd do something but I'm a thousand miles away and you're right there."



			
				BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> We should have sent Chris $911 worth of Axe body spray and Taco Bell gift cards just to punish Barb.



For the amount collected I bet you could have sent him over 9,000 pickles.


----------



## Spaulding (Jan 17, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> Anna saying "I thought you'd want to know.  I'd do something but I'm a thousand miles away and you're right there."



I'm in Finland and I donated $5. Now I want to send a care package to the firemen, but that goddamned thieving Muslim null would just steal my valuable knockoff Tom of Finland print, I just know it.

Damn, this is the first time I ever felt bad for donating to a charity.


----------



## Venusaur (Jan 17, 2014)

Man, leave it to Barb and Chris to always find something to BITCH about.

* House suffers fire damage, due to her neglect and hoarding tendencies? "Damn you Keurig!!!!"
*Firefighters arrive, put out the fire, one of them suffers injuries? "Damn fire fighters stole my Dali replica!!!"

Seriously? She's bitching about a Dali replica? Yeah, I have a Van Gogh replica of Starry Night... it cost me under ten dollars in a flea market. Just because it's the replica of something valuable, doesn't really make it so. 

I'm surprised something like this is what they choose to focus on.  In the house videos you can see an assortment of artworks and frames littering the hallways and rooms, Barb didn't seem to be the kinda person to put a lot of care into her artwork collection (or her house in general for that matter).


----------



## Chrus Chundlur (Jan 17, 2014)

Fuck that worthless Dalí replica, Chris has to check if any greedy fireman stole his priceless HAND DRAWN SONICHU ORIGINALS, those retardedly drawn and semen-stained doodles could get you millions on the black market 

Also, fuck you, Chandlers. With this you _almost_ deserve what happened to your house, you ungrateful hillbillies.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





hi ed zachary


----------



## DJAndyMD (Jan 17, 2014)

Wow, I just checked the Updates portion for this thread and apparently, Chris is now accusing the firefighters of stealing.


----------



## RP 520 (Jan 17, 2014)

DJAndyMD said:
			
		

> Wow, I just checked the Updates portion for this thread and apparently, Chris is now accusing the firefighters of stealing.



Read the past 10 pages or so, that's what we've been discussing.


----------



## bradsternum (Jan 17, 2014)

WHAT HAPPENED TO BOB'S PICTURE OF THE SEXY HALF-NAKED WOMAN?


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 17, 2014)

This revelation makes me want to a-log so hard, but since I'm too much of a classy lady for that I'm not going to.

I only hope that when Charb eventually burn down another pile of garbage that they call home, the firefighters brew up some delicious kuerig coffee and watch Barb ordering Chris to help her put the fire out.


----------



## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 17, 2014)

Created an account just to post this:
[youtube]qAJALy21UEU[/youtube]


----------



## Christory101 (Jan 17, 2014)

I may have said it before, but I believe Chris n' Barb's health will improve by living in the hotel, and not 14 BLC.

I just think living in a reasonably clean environment, will do wonders, in terms of just less germs in general. There will be no massive infestation to give them health problems, and no toxic noxious fumes from cat waste, rotten food, and other junk to give them (possible) breathing problems.

It could be that there hotel room is a pigsty by now. But still an elegant 5 star pigsty compared to their previous domicile.


----------



## Very Honest Content (Jan 17, 2014)

Yeah, this fireman robbery fiasco is an obvious inept attempt at insurance fraud being propagated by   who doesn't know any better as far as being to the wiser of it.  Nothing more.

I also agree this is showing where the origin of the "TRUE and HONEST hand-drawn original," obsession by aforementioned   derives from.

So in a way, it's _almost _*good *this fire happened so we could get a layer of the onion these two share for a brain pulled back to reveal that detail . . .


----------



## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

Very Honest Content said:
			
		

> So in a way, it's _almost _*good *this fire happened so we could get a layer of the onion these two share for a brain pulled back to reveal that detail . . .





q-brained


----------



## TrippinKahlua (Jan 17, 2014)

It's been one week since the fire, where are they now? Still living in the hotel?

Despite my initial horror to hear that 14BLC had burned to the ground (because at 7AM, there weren't that many details as we had now, and I had just woken up) I was glad to hear that Chris and Barb had relocated to a hotel at the cost of their insurance. This was a good thing, as hotels always strive to remain clean.

Chris and Barb has lived in clean atmosphere for the first time in several years


----------



## timtommy (Jan 17, 2014)

A couple "to be fair to Chris":

He didn't post that complaint publicly. It was made public, presumably against his wishes. It would have been a lot worse if he had posted it publicly, or even worse somewhere like on the fire departments facebook page. His public comments have been fairly benign, with the exception of Keurig. Mostly it has been the usual stuff you get from victims of similar circumstances: "We are slowly getting our life back together. Firefighters and insurance are helping us. Here is how you can help us", except it came through Chris' incoherence filter.

I will cut him a little slack about emotional/angry/irrational responses about this for a while. Honestly, I donated a moderate amount to the fund. I am not regretting it now. I knew what Chris is when I did it.

On another note. It looks like the hoard is being rescued, and now it will basically be a burnt/damaged hoard. That is so much worse.

Cue the


----------



## Attention_Whore (Jan 17, 2014)

I've been lurking these forums off and on for a while, but I never felt like making an account. 
This afternoon though, I got bored and decided to draw what I think happened on that faithful day.

















(I am by no means an artist, also I might fuck this post up hugely since I don't know quite know how to post)

*edit: oh jeez, those files are huge, I replaced them with smaller ones.


----------



## RP 520 (Jan 17, 2014)

Attention_Whore said:
			
		

> I've been lurking these forums off and on for a while, but I never felt like making an account.
> This afternoon though, I got bored and decided to draw what I think happened on that faithful day.
> 
> <insert comic here>
> ...



You sir, or ma'am, have made my day.


----------



## drmccoy (Jan 17, 2014)

Yes Barb, you hoarding primadonna, the firemen went and stole your worthless Goodwill crap. They had nothing better to do at that point in time than dig through the mountain of shit that you've bought over the last 20 years and take the single thing that's worth more than a $1.

I'm glad people are spreading this. This is a pattern, like so many time before. For a brief moment Chris and family have out sympathy. Then they say or do some SO self-centered, SO ignorant and useless that the accumulated goodwill is lost and people cease feeling bad in any way. 

Like people have said before, Chris is his own worst troll. In this case it's him trolling himself in the Fire Saga.


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 17, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> I figured Barb's taste in art would be more along these lines.
> 
> http://www.pigsinapoke.com/PPimages/PP4 ... Porker.jpg



no no no, thats not Barb's taste in art. That's Barb's taste in men.


----------



## RP 520 (Jan 17, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> Horde Prime said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Are you sure that's not just multiple self portraits of Barb in different poses?


----------



## _blank_ (Jan 17, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> WHAT HAPPENED TO BOB'S PICTURE OF THE SEXY HALF-NAKED WOMAN?


I would laugh my ass off if that's the "Dali replica" Barb is talking about (Yes, I know it isn't Dali; that's the joke, that... nevermind.)

Anyway, after an exhaustive search (Googled "Dali replica painting") I did find some dealers who do make oil replicas of Dali paintings that range in the $300 range, or slightly cheaper than what Chris might spend on vidya and toys in a month. And in any case, I would hazard a guess like everyone else and assume she found it at Goodwill and glommed onto it, thinking it was some huge steal.

Also, concerning the horde, I'm wondering if maybe she have it buried away for safe keeping and now is realizing it is missing, thinking it was the firefighters. All the while, it was buried for so long, it could have been pawned off by Bob and she has only now realized it. 

Now, just awaiting Chrissun's FB response to all the charity he's received. 

"Hmm, yeah. Th-Thank you for all the... the nice things people have sent us. Hm. Yeah. But- but we don't really like these kind of clothes or foods, but... thank you. I have... my mommy and I have given it to the nice night staff laaaady that works at dis here motel. Her name is Angela. She is studying to become annnnnn a accounting MAjor. Hm. I think... I think she and I hit it off pretty well. She laughed at my Donald Duck impression. SQUAWK WAK WAK WAK WAK WAK WAK WAK!!"


----------



## Shadow Fox (Jan 17, 2014)

I love that Barb assumes the person who allegedly stole her stuff wasn't some random looter taking advantage of an abandoned, unsecured house when no one's around, but a firefighter swiping something during or immediately after the blaze, when the house's occupants, the rest of the fire team, other emergency responders and assorted rubberneckers are all gathered around.   



			
				TrippinKahlua said:
			
		

> It's been one week since the fire



Is there going to be a rewrite of One Week by Barenaked Ladies now, too?



			
				rocket said:
			
		

> I gotta admit the whole valuable painting thing and a curiously missing purse - which no doubt had phat stacks piled up inside - just stinks to high heaven.


----------



## timtommy (Jan 17, 2014)

_blank_ said:
			
		

> bradsternum said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Good point. It may not be that the Chandler's have a misguided idea of how much a Dali replica is, but they just have a different perception of what valuable means. 

A well-executed, well-mounted art replica can easily be worth well into 3 digits, just because it is a nice, attractive object. Considering almost all of the hoard probably has $0 resell value, and that they are living    to  and have some debt, they might view anything that other people would pay money for as a valuable possession.

It still boggles my mind though. I can picture a mean-spirited old lady who thinks that firefighters stole from their purse. Stole her purse, still mean-spirited, and a bit of  a stretch. Stole a random piece of art from a large collection of crap, really?   

I picture Barb hovering around the house the whole time the fire-fighters, insurance people, and various repair people are chumping around inside, constantly monitoring her hoard.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 17, 2014)

DALI REPLICAS ARE EXPENSIVE!



Spoiler












(  )


----------



## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 17, 2014)

Very Honest Content said:
			
		

> Yeah, this fireman robbery fiasco is an obvious inept attempt at insurance fraud being propagated by   who doesn't know any better as far as being to the wiser of it.  Nothing more.



The most Weston-esque part of this insurance fraud attempt is...why even claim that a fireman stole it?  Any person with even six functioning brain cells knows that it's a horrible idea to level accusations of theft against the very same people who just risked life and limb putting out a fire probably caused by your own negligence. 

As others have mentioned, a more reasonable approach to insurance fraud would be to simply "mark up" the value of the items lost in the fire.  But since this is the Weston-Chandler clan we're talking about, I assume the goal here is to maximize money and minimize effort.  And I'm not even extending them the credit of being intelligent enough to have thought their plan through and consciously concluded "this maximizes money and minimizes effort"; as professional leeches, they probably make this calculation on an instinctual level, sort of like how ticks know just when to drop in on a bypassing animal.

I suppose the Dali story achieves both of these goals - it's a single item with a large claimed value, and since it was supposedly stolen, they don't have to go through the trouble of finding Christian's "Cell Cel" and claiming that it was the Dali reprint.  Profit maximized, effort minimized, all other considerations be damned.

But still, why claim that a fireman stole it?  Why not just say that it must have been some meth head who broke into their abandoned house?


----------



## _blank_ (Jan 17, 2014)

maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> But still, why claim that a fireman stole it?  Why not just say that it must have been some meth head who broke into their abandoned house?



My guess is that it would lack that Chandler dramatic flair- which is always one of their downfalls. They seemingly always need to make some big huge event out of things and in turn make things more difficult for themselves in the long run.


----------



## Smutley (Jan 17, 2014)

A couple years ago, I was really into exploring abandoned properties.  This was when I lived in a different, poorer state, and there were tons of abandoned properties during the housing crash.  I'd take a camera and kick around, taking pictures of the trash and graffito in these ramshackle ripped up buildings.

I'm not saying I'm going to do this.  And I'm not suggesting at all that someone should.  But I do wish there was a brave, unscrupulous soul who would waltz in the back door and snap some shots of the place so we don't have to guess about things.


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 17, 2014)

maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> But still, why claim that a fireman stole it?  Why not just say that it must have been some meth head who broke into their abandoned house?



Because this is Chris and Barb. They typically do the opposite of what anyone else would do in that situation. Blaming the firemen means they have someone to blame. Never did it cross their mind that "There's stuff missing in my house because my house was JUST ON FIRE. Must have burned" No, what crosses their mind is "Stuff is missing and I know firemen were here, they must have took it. Bastards." The firemen were easy targets because they wouldn't know who to blame if some random person had come in and taken something.

What I really don't get is what does she think these things are worth? Her purse and a replica are probably worth $50 combined at MOST. You know she got that shit from goodwill and not some fancy brand store or a gallery. It would have been more understandable to say that something of true value was gone, like her wedding ring or some jewelry in general. Granted, no one's going to believe the firemen who risked their lives to save what they could of the house did it, but at least it makes sense to worry about those items.


----------



## SilentObserver (Jan 17, 2014)

maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> But still, why claim that a fireman stole it?  Why not just say that it must have been some meth head who broke into their abandoned house?


Stupidity? That's all I can figure.   

Any normal person would realize that the fact that the house was left unsecured after the fire and the front door continues to remain unlocked means that just about anyone(from firefighters to weens) could have gained access to the house. Of course, the Chandlers aren't exactly known for using logic to figure things out.


----------



## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

SilentObserver said:
			
		

> maninthepicklesuit said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You know how you play peek-a-boo with an infant?  You hold up a blanket and hide your face, and then lower it quickly and yell "peek-a-boo!" and the child squeals in delight.  Because the child couldn't see you for that instant, in his mind you faded from reality.  To him, you're basically abusing the laws of space and time to appear and disappear.

I think Chris and Barb must work under the same logic.  "The last time we saw our house, there was a firefighter coming out of it.  THE FIREFIGHTER STOLE ALL OUR STUFF AND THAT'S WHY WE CAN'T FIND IT."


----------



## Silver (Jan 17, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> maninthepicklesuit said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I'm thinking that perhaps they saw that one episode of Seinfeld where George decides to act the opposite of how he normally does and scores a girlfriend and a nice job. I think they thought the moral was "act the opposite of what your gut tells you and you will find success", not realizing that George should have by all rights not gotten the girlfriend (he introduced himself by telling her he had no job and lived with his parents) or the job (he screamed about the boss' previous shitty decisions to his face), and decided to apply this idea to their lives.


----------



## Very Honest Content (Jan 17, 2014)

maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> The most Weston-esque part of this insurance fraud attempt is...why even claim that a fireman stole it?  . . . But still, why claim that a fireman stole it?  Why not just say that it must have been some meth head who broke into their abandoned house?



I'm going to have to chalk that particular aspect up to the nurtured victim trait the Weston, and Chandler to a certain extent, side of this family harbors so well.  It's so all encompassing in their life that when their hoard goes up in flames and someone is forced by duty to enter their closeted off little nook of America, they are immediately cast as looters instead of saviors of what's left of that shit hole of a home.

In general, in all things Barb, I find the simplest explanation of her behavior as undiagnosed and untreated mental disorder.

For Chris, it's untreated mental disorder

See the difference?


----------



## Kosher Dill (Jan 17, 2014)

Very Honest Content said:
			
		

> In general, in all things Barb, I find the simplest explanation of her behavior as undiagnosed and untreated mental disorder.


Since when is AIDS a mental disorder?


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 17, 2014)

Stepped out for a while because the thread was boring me and I come back to Barb accusing at least one of the firefighters of stealing shit. 

Stay classy, Chandlers.


----------



## The Knife (Jan 17, 2014)

Smutley said:
			
		

> A couple years ago, I was really into exploring abandoned properties.  This was when I lived in a different, poorer state, and there were tons of abandoned properties during the housing crash.  I'd take a camera and kick around, taking pictures of the trash and graffito in these ramshackle ripped up buildings.
> 
> I'm not saying I'm going to do this.  And I'm not suggesting at all that someone should.  But I do wish there was a brave, unscrupulous soul who would waltz in the back door and snap some shots of the place so we don't have to guess about things.



I used to love to do this, too (I've since suffered a physical disability and can't take the risk anymore).  The problem is that the Chandler property is in flux--they still own it, all their shit's in, but they aren't currently living there and the jury's out on whether they'll come back. I have the feeling that if they move out, they're going to take what they want and leave the rest to moulder, so there's going to be junk in there until the place is either torn down, sold, or a homeless person with a camp stove sets it on fire again. I'd say give it another year. You're always good by the time the neighborhood kids start calling it the local haunted house.



			
				Very Honest Content said:
			
		

> In general, in all things Barb, I find the simplest explanation of her behavior as undiagnosed and untreated mental disorder.
> 
> For Chris, it's untreated mental disorder
> 
> See the difference?



Bingo.  I still think she has BPD.  Unfortunately, personality disorders don't respond well to treatment or meds.  We're pretty much stuck with her.


----------



## Kyoosand (Jan 17, 2014)

The Knife said:
			
		

> Smutley said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



All this makes me wonder if Bob, despite him being a backward old fart, was the only fragment of sanity in that entire household for all those years. Once he was gone, Chris & Barb no longer had anyone to hold these two nutcases under control, and they collided with Reality on a daily basis.

I know that if Bob were still alive, he would have tore Chris a second one for burning the house up, and then keeled over from a massive heart attack.

Chris of course, will then accuse the Keurig company of manslaughter.


Now I'm just curious for how long the insurance company is going to put them up in a motel. I feel so sorry for the housekeeping staff who have to go in there. No green card is worth that sort of ordeal.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 17, 2014)

I imagine a couple firefighters standing inside the house, hosing down the blaze, while the Greedy Fireman is off to the side sifting through their belongings like a record collector at a thrift store. 



			
				Smutley said:
			
		

> A couple years ago, I was really into exploring abandoned properties.  This was when I lived in a different, poorer state, and there were tons of abandoned properties during the housing crash.  I'd take a camera and kick around, taking pictures of the trash and graffito in these ramshackle ripped up buildings.



Off topic, but check out The Unknown Cameraman on Youtube, he goes to a lot of interesting abandoned places.


----------



## Daario Naharis (Jan 17, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> All this makes me wonder if Bob, despite him being a backward old fart, was the only fragment of sanity in that entire household for all those years. Once he was gone, Chris & Barb no longer had anyone to hold these two nutcases under control, and they collided with Reality on a daily basis.
> 
> I know that if Bob were still alive, he would have tore Chris a second one for burning the house up, and then keeled over from a massive heart attack.
> 
> ...



Hmmm. I think that is probably the case. I mean, Chris still got into trouble when he was around. All the Sonichu episodes about him fighting Jerkops are based on his real life, after all. I think what it comes down to is that Bob was a discouraging factor and Barb is an encouraging factor.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

At least now we know for certain that Chris is gay.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> At least now we know for certain that Chris is gay.




flaming


----------



## Uzumaki (Jan 17, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Conversely, the Chandlers are absolute nutcases with equally shitty instincts that have bitten them in the ass many times over. The Chandlers would do well to do the absolute opposite of everything their instincts would tell them. People might actually confuse them for normal human beings.



"My instincts are to lash out at this person, so instead I will remain calm."

"My instincts are to eat at McDonalds, so instead I will buy ingredients and make pasta."

"My instincts are to find someone to blame for this problem, so instead I will look inward to see if I have been contributing negatively to the situation."

All things considered, it would be one hell of a funny episode.


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 17, 2014)

Uzumaki said:
			
		

> All things considered, it would be one hell of a funny episode.



Indeed.



> "My instincts are to lash out at this person, so instead I will remain calm."



Could actually work.



> "My instincts are to eat at McDonalds, so instead I will buy ingredients and make pasta."



Burns the house down again.



> "My instincts are to find someone to blame for this problem, so instead I will look inward to see if I have been contributing negatively to the situation."



Once again says 'No, I'm perfect.'


----------



## DrChristianTroy (Jan 17, 2014)

Anyone else surprised Barb even know who Salvadore Dali is? Given we don't know much about her background but she comes off as so uncultured that her knowing about art, let alone surrealism like Dali, is astounding to me.


----------



## Attention_Whore (Jan 17, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> Anyone else surprised Barb even know who Salvadore Dali is? Given we don't know much about her background but she comes off as so uncultured that her knowing about art, let alone surrealism like Dali, is astounding to me.



Maybe she heard the name come up in a quiz show or something.

Or maybe it actually said "Dali" on the painting.


----------



## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 17, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> Anyone else surprised Barb even know who Salvadore Dali is? Given we don't know much about her background but she comes off as so uncultured that her knowing about art, let alone surrealism like Dali, is astounding to me.



Maybe Christian misspelled "Dali painting" in his email.  

He wasn't referring to a painting by Salvador Dali.  He was referring to a painting of "Dolly."



Spoiler


----------



## Pikonic (Jan 17, 2014)

_blank_ said:
			
		

> maninthepicklesuit said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Or finding the meth head would be TOO HARD, blaming the FD is easier.
Plus you can't sue a random meth head.


----------



## CaptainDong (Jan 17, 2014)

_blank_ said:
			
		

> bradsternum said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I had an oil replica of 'Starry Night' that I had paid about $200 for about 8 years ago.  I had bought it at an art sale they had on Camp Lejeune, it was full of different sized oil replicas.  They had at least 10 different sizes of Starry Night, and they were all beautifully done.  Mine had an amazing blue stained wooden frame, and the detail that the artist put into the painting itself was beautiful.  If my ex hadn't smashed it into a couple hundred pieces during our break up, I could have probably sold it today for the same amount I paid for it. 

However...I'm sure Barb's version of her painting that's worth so much money involved a laser printer and a frame from the Dollar Store.


----------



## HandBanana (Jan 17, 2014)

Waterhead coddles Chris more then a mother would with her newborn baby.


----------



## Francine StripeCheer (Jan 17, 2014)

Attention_Whore said:
			
		

> DrChristianTroy said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Most likely a mass-produced print worth maybe $20 brand new.


----------



## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

Smutley said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



As the old saying goes: "If you make something foolproof, the universe takes it as a challenge and provides an even more foolish fool to test your product to destruction."


----------



## Butta Face Lopez (Jan 17, 2014)

I'm surprised he knew how to spell Dali, having presumably never actually seen it written in relation to that painting.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> Anyone else surprised Barb even know who Salvadore Dali is? Given we don't know much about her background but she comes off as so uncultured that her knowing about art, let alone surrealism like Dali, is astounding to me.


I suppose Dali's ingrained enough in pop culture to be known by Barb, but you never know, she may surprise us. I mean Bob had some pretty ignorant views, but he was clearly intelligent enough in some ways.


----------



## DJAndyMD (Jan 17, 2014)

EleSigma said:
			
		

> DJAndyMD said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



By the time I posted it, it had been already updated on this thread. Guess I wasn't fast enough lol


----------



## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 17, 2014)

Butta Face Lopez said:
			
		

> I'm surprised he knew how to spell Dali, having presumably never actually seen it written in relation to that painting.



He took art classes in High School.  How do you think he became so artistic?


----------



## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

*A Chandlerese Fire Drill*



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> If I could be a fly on the wall for any 30 minutes of Christian's life, the fire would be my first choice without a doubt.
> 
> My reason for wanting to watch the fire isn't some sort of malicious glee in watching Christian's home burn, but because there are so many details that even a fire report won't answer.  And I think these details are key to Christory, since they'd either rehabilitate our view of Our Pet Lolcow, or absolutely confirm him to be a complete waste of humanity.
> 
> Among other things, I desperately want to know these details regarding the fire:


I too would like to know. Here is how I think it all went down.



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> a) Was it Christian or Barbara's brilliant idea to put the Keurig in the bathroom basement?


I'd say Barbara. She probably likes coffee, while Chris sticks to Coke and Fanta. Barbara probably put the Keurig in the bathroom because heaven forbid she alters the configuration of the Hoard to reach an outlet. 



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> b) How did Christian initially react to the hoard catching fire?  Did he spaz out and dissociate from reality, or did he at least make some sort of futile attempt to put the fire out?
> c) If Christian did attempt to put the fire out, did just he just do something completely retarded and end up making it worse? ("Hm yeah, I'll just use dat dere kerosene to put the fire out...an' den...an' den I'll use dese oily rags to smother da fire")


I keep picturing him trying to clumsily splash water from the sink onto the fire -- _An electrical fire_, mind you -- and becoming increasingly frustrated at how that doesn't make the fire "go away."



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> d) If Barbara was asleep, did the smoke from the fire wake her up or did Christian have to use the Pokeflute?


I suspect the -- almost sexual -- sound of Chris desperately gasping and splashing caught her attention first; if not, she began to stir when Chris finally realized he was in over his head and started yelling "Maaaaaaaaa! *MAAAAAAAA!!! GET DA FIRE ESSTINGUISHER!!! DA COFFEE PERCOLATOR IS ON FIRE!!!*"



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> e) Did Christian heroically escort Barbara outside, then run back in to scoop up Clover & Snoopy under each arm?  Or did Barbara and the dogs make their own way to safety while Christian was busy shitting himself?


I picture Snorlax freaking out and lumbering toward the backdoor in a panic leaving Chris, Snoopy and Clover behind. The only reason Clover and Snoopy escaped is because they themselves realized the Humans had fucked up *again*, and it was time to go out the catflap, every lifeform for its self.



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> f) What were Christian's priorities as to material goods?  He recovered his wallet, iPhone, Barbara's meds, and possibly his 3DS, but in what order did he recover them from the fire?


Bullshit. Chris had all those things -- except Mom's Meds -- on his person when the fire started. The only reason he grabbed Mom's Meds is because _they were in the bathroom at that very instant._



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> The absolute best case scenario for Christian is that he was brewing coffee at Barbara's behest, something caught fire and he made a sensible but ultimately futile attempt to put the fire out, then when he realized the fire was beyond his control, he ushered Barbara and the dogs out and went back in to recover the things they'd need, with the 3DS as an afterthought.  I would knock Christian up like 5 whole points on my scale of respect if that's what happened.


I think the real incident was more of a disorganized comedy routine than we suppose. A Chandlerese Fire Drill, If you will.



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> On the other hand, if he made the fire worse, or if Barbara and the dogs had to find their own way to safety, or if he went for his 3DS first, then fuck Christian.


Nah. I don't think he had to retrieve the 3DS, he was probably sittin on the terlet, playing Barbie Horse Fetish Adventures waiting for Keurig to make Go-Go Juice for Snorlax. 



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> If you take his FB note at face value, it does sound like Christian was fairly proactive in ensuring the safety of Barbara and the dogs.  However, we all know that Christian will warp the retelling of the facts in his favor, a la Rashomon.  CWC-omon!


If this silly and hilarious misadventure bore any resemblance to a Kurosawa movie....I'd say "Throne of Stool" or "The Hoard-Ridden Fartress"


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 17, 2014)

Butta Face Lopez said:
			
		

> I'm surprised he knew how to spell Dali, having presumably never actually seen it written in relation to that painting.



I can see Dali's influence in Chris' work. Maybe that's why every character in Sonichu has melty faces and disproportionate limbs. Perhaps Sonichu is an homage?!

...oh wait, no. He's just shit at everything he does.


----------



## Picklechu (Jan 17, 2014)

dcisp said:
			
		

> And I am very okay with Dali being the secret Emperor of the Trolls.



If this goes all the way to a lawsuit, Dali would be a fantastic forum rank. 

In addition, on a kind of eerie note, before all of this Dali stuff went down, I recall someone in one of these threads referring to the partially melted Lego Manchester as "Salvador Dali Memorial High School", although I can't seem to find it.


----------



## butt in trouble (Jan 17, 2014)

I _actually_ felt sorry for Chris. I _actually_ felt compassion for him. And without even trying he makes it completely erode. At this stage I think accusations of a-logging are a moot point.

Sorry for the double post.

but I see a MAJOR facebook tantrum in the future when Chris and Bard are asked to leave the hotel they're staying at for causing disturbances. Chris will likely be a loud obnoxious fuck and rack up a 2,000 dollar room service bill that he thinks he doesn't have to pay. Bard will immediately begin filling up the hotel room with any junk that catches her eye.


----------



## Qqqqq (Jan 17, 2014)

Thetan posted some interesting things:






The coffee pot was outside the bathroom with an extension cord running into there. Fucking genius. Also it looks like Chris was planning on leaving the hoarde fire or no, possibly in full on stalker mode which is a little disturbing to say the least.


----------



## bromine (Jan 17, 2014)

Dunno if anyone's posted it but -

It seems that Chris's Wii U survived the fire, judging by a Miiverse post he made yesterday.

Unfortunately, the post got deleted by an administrator.


----------



## Pikonic (Jan 17, 2014)

AN EXTENSION CORD ON A COFFEE MAKER?!? 
IN A FUCKING BATHROOM OUTLET?!?!
ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!

FUCK!!

ok, not that I got THAT out of the way, I guess all but one of the MHS girls have zero sympathy. I do feel bad if they're actually creeped out by the thought of him moving back there.


----------



## butt in trouble (Jan 17, 2014)

"one should not be judged by their deeds"-Chris

Chris went from being pitied more than ever to going back to being the most despised person on the internet in less than a week.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

Chris, next time just let the fire consume you.

Stay Safe,
Tubular Monkey


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2014)

Pikonic said:
			
		

> AN EXTENSION CORD ON A COFFEE MAKER?!?
> IN A FUCKING BATHROOM OUTLET?!?!
> ARE YOU SHITTING ME!?!
> 
> FUCK!!


And the fail-train just keeps on chugging.


----------



## cypocraphy (Jan 17, 2014)

Nobody blows their sympathy quite like Chris.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

If anyone would like me to love them forever, I am dying to see a drawing of Chris spraying himself in the face with the extinguisher as his coffee fire rages.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 17, 2014)

I fucking love Chris. This is awesome.


----------



## butt in trouble (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> If anyone would like me to love them forever, I am dying to see a drawing of Chris spraying himself in the face with the extinguisher as his coffee fire rages.


I bet he tried to curse the fire.


----------



## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 17, 2014)

Qqqqq said:
			
		

> Thetan posted some interesting things:
> 
> http://i.imgur.com/2nGXpqR.png
> 
> The coffee pot was outside the bathroom with an extension cord running into there. Fucking genius. Also it looks like Chris was planning on leaving the hoarde fire or no, possibly in full on stalker mode which is a little disturbing to say the least.



Brilliant.  This is just like when ED posted "SheCameForCWC" and Christian defended himself by revealing that he was finger-banging Megan, not Crystal.   

Christian might just be the only person who defends himself by admitting that he in fact did something even stupider than what he was originally accused of.  "The coffee maker wasn't IN THE BATHROOM, we just had a shitload of extension cords running from the bathroom outlet to the coffee maker, you damn stupid naive trolls!"  

I was also worried that the Gal Pal Saga had met a premature end, having been preempted by the Fire Saga.  Now it looks like the two sagas might just be merging.  

The only possible way the two sagas could have merged more smoothly and organically would have been if Kellie Andes had been one of the firefighters at 14 BC, but why look a gift horse in the mouth?  Christian is back to trolling himself and that's good enough for me.


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 17, 2014)

Qqqqq said:
			
		

> Thetan posted some interesting things:
> 
> http://i.imgur.com/2nGXpqR.png
> 
> The coffee pot was outside the bathroom with an extension cord running into there. Fucking genius. Also it looks like Chris was planning on leaving the hoarde fire or no, possibly in full on stalker mode which is a little disturbing to say the least.


Yeah, HOW DARE THEY?


----------



## Male (Jan 17, 2014)

Blaming the people who kept his house from completely burning down for stealing and he has the gall to call someone uncompassionate?


----------



## Pikonic (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> If anyone would like me to love them forever, I am dying to see a drawing of Chris spraying himself in the face with the extinguisher as his coffee fire rages.


The thought of Chris fumbling with a fire extinguisher did make me smile, which help me get over the rage about A FUCKING EXTENSION CORD IN A BATHRO---sorry   .


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> If anyone would like me to love them forever, I am dying to see a drawing of Chris spraying himself in the face with the extinguisher as his coffee fire rages.


The thought of that is making me crack up as I type this.

"N-Now I can't seem ta figurrout how ta-" *PSSSSSSSH*


----------



## Giovanni (Jan 17, 2014)

"One should not be judged by their deeds"? What the fuck? Yes! Yes, you do!

Reminds me of a certain exchange in Megamind.

Roxanne: "You don't judge people based on how they look, you judge them by their actions."
Megamind: "Well, that seems kind of petty."


----------



## butt in trouble (Jan 17, 2014)

Giovanni said:
			
		

> "One should not be judged by their deeds"? What the fuck? Yes! Yes, you do!
> 
> Reminds me of a certain exchange in Megamind.
> 
> ...


Chris really just means _he_ shouldn't be judged for _his_ deeds.


----------



## Shadow (Jan 17, 2014)

The way the names of the people fearful of going into hiding are blocked out still reveal a little, so it's not hard to guess who it might be.

That said, I do hope Chris doesn't find "certain people" that he's been searching for if he does move there.


----------



## Spatchmo (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Chris, next time just let the fire consume you.
> 
> Stay Safe,
> Tubular Monkey


I love you, Tubular Monkey.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

butt in trouble said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



[youtube]IeB6TrdPASk[/youtube]

Not mine.  I wish I could take credit for it.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 17, 2014)

I'm putting my money on Barb being the one who operated the extinguisher just because he said "we" instead of "I". Chris trying to stop a fire is something I imagine he would take sole credit for. Unless he views something he did as a fuck up in which case "I" becomes "we".

We could be wrong though.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2014)

Shartifartblast said:
			
		

> HOW DARE YOU BE SO HEARTLESS, SOULLESS, AND UNCOMPASSIONATE TO US?


Yeah, how dare people express disgust and contempt for a selfish, ungrateful, arrogant, condescending manchild with a history of being a creep who's never put in even one day's worth of hard work in his life and his equally disgusting and crazy baglady of a mother after they accuse firefighters of stealing their garbage.

The nerve of some people you know?


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> I'm putting my money on Barb being the one who operated the extinguisher just because he said "we" instead of "I". Chris trying to stop a fire is something I imagine he would take sole credit for. Unless he views something he did as a fuck up in which case "I" becomes "we".
> 
> We could be wrong though.


Well we all know Chris' normal reaction to danger.... run away, or hide behind his mother.


----------



## Coldgrip (Jan 17, 2014)

And poop himself.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Well we all know Chris' normal reaction to danger.... run away, or hide behind his mother.



That was a very reasonable line of defense until recently.


----------



## Shadow (Jan 17, 2014)

Question. If Chris is actually telling the truth about the coffee maker being off, would it have been possible to know that it was the cause of the fire? Is the whole current going back and forth thing something that actually happens? Would Chris even be able to tell something like that? If he's not lying about the coffee maker being off, could it have been something else? Maybe just 14BC's bad wiring.


----------



## XYZpdq (Jan 17, 2014)

Shadow said:
			
		

> Is the whole current going back and forth thing something that actually happens?


I had one of those keruig types for a while. If it was "off" it still drew current to run the clock. Not to say he is or isn't full of shit, but at least that part is probably true.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Anchuent Christory said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
I'm surprised he didn't take out his DS and snap a photo.... FOR THE INTERNET!


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 17, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



So technically Chris might've used Barb as a human shield from the flames?


----------



## Shadow (Jan 17, 2014)

dcisp said:
			
		

> Shadow said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Thanks. So the real question is if whether or not he's had the Keurig for long. If it's new and this happened, that's one thing. If they've had it for a while, it's probably not the coffee maker's fault, especially so now knowing it was plugged in via an extension cord which makes it worse.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 17, 2014)

Anything that is plugged in still draws a current, however miniscule. Turn off your TV, it's still getting a tiny bit of power. If you were to unplug anything you're not using - tv, computer, chargers, coffeemaker, hair dryer, and so on, you would save a bit on your power bill (but not much, really)

As for Chris' comment about not being judged by his deeds...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Fuck you, Chris.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

dcisp said:
			
		

> Shadow said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Depends if it was properly off, or just "not brewing coffee" off. Do they even have power switches? Either way, it's safe to say that Chris word is not to be trusted when it comes to matters like this, he knows precisely fuck all about electrics.

I can just imagine Bob right now, up in lumberjack heaven, Son... I am dissapoint!



			
				pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Anchuent Christory said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Would it surprise you? I know it wouldn't surprise me.


----------



## Male (Jan 17, 2014)

what kind of fire was it that you couldn't be able to put it out with a god damn extinguisher?


----------



## Spatchmo (Jan 17, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> what kind of fire was it that you couldn't be able to put it out with a god damn extinguisher?


I imagine it was an electrical fire, combined with the hoard it would be very difficult to extinguish.


----------



## 4Macie (Jan 17, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> what kind of fire was it that you couldn't be able to put it out with a god damn extinguisher?



Electrical


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

Male said:
			
		

> what kind of fire was it that you couldn't be able to put it out with a god damn extinguisher?


 depends on the type of extinguisher, you do not want to attack an electrical fire with an H2o extinguisher. If he did try, i'm thinking he just sprayed it in the general direction because he was too scared. But then I'm dubious as to the truth behind  Barb having one in the horde in the first place, I kind of think he just lied in response to the accusation of not having one, bald faced lies are a Chandler speciality.


----------



## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 17, 2014)

I used an extension cord to power a wire welder to repair my lawn mower.

I didn't do it in MY FUCKING HOUSE, though.


----------



## Thetan (Jan 17, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Assuming that Chris isn't lying about the extinguisher, I can't help but wonder if it wasn't a question of type of extinguisher, but rather how long it took them to find the damn thing. Somehow, given the condition of that place, I find it hard to believe that it was placed somewhere sensible and readily accessible.


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 17, 2014)

Electrical fires are Class C. Use a CO2 or PKP extinguisher or baking soda on those. Not water.


----------



## SilentObserver (Jan 17, 2014)

Ahhh, yes. The plot thickens. 

So the coffee maker, which can potentially draw upwards of 12 amps, was plugged into an extension cord? Well there ya go. I don't believe him for a second when he says it was off. I'd be willing to bet that it was turned on and the cord it was plugged into wasn't as "heavy duty" as he thought it was. I'm not familiar with Keurigs so I don't know if they have a 3 prong or 2 prong cord. If it was a 3 prong he was probably using an extension cord that wasn't quite a big enough gauge to handle the current being pulled through it; it heated up, melted, and the rest is history. If it was a 2 prong then there might also be a chance he was using one of those 2 prong extensions cords that are only meant to be used for very small electronics, nothing with a high current draw; the outcome would be the same. Him saying it was "heavy duty" is really meaningless; I've seen those cheap 2 prong, low power rating cords being sold as "heavy duty".  Who knows, the extension cord itself might have been damaged. 

Sure, a coffee maker could be run off an extension cord without issues, but that's if you're using the right gauge. An average person with limited electrical knowledge would be likely to use whatever cord _looked right_ without considering what gauge or power rating it actually was. I doubt Chris has much in the way of electrical knowledge so there's that to consider.

As for the extinguisher, I'm wondering if they knew how to properly use one. You're supposed to aim them at the base of the flames, someone that hasn't used one previously would be likely to aim it at the top of the flames which is completely ineffective and doesn't do anything to put the fire out.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 17, 2014)

Chris was smoking meth and having gay sex during the fire.


----------



## Thetan (Jan 17, 2014)

SilentObserver said:
			
		

> Ahhh, yes. The plot thickens.
> 
> So the coffee maker, which can potentially draw upwards of 12 amps, was plugged into an extension cord? Well there ya go. I don't believe him for a second when he says it was off. I'd be willing to bet that it was turned on and the cord it was plugged into wasn't as "heavy duty" as he thought it was. I'm not familiar with Keurigs so I don't know if they have a 3 prong or 2 prong cord. If it was a 3 prong he was probably using an extension cord that wasn't quite a big enough gauge to handle the current being pulled through it; it heated up, melted, and the rest is history. If it was a 2 prong then there might also be a chance he was using one of those 2 prong extensions cords that are only meant to be used for very small electronics, nothing with a high current draw; the outcome would be the same. Him saying it was "heavy duty" is really meaningless; I've seen those cheap 2 prong, low power rating cords being sold as "heavy duty".  Who knows, the extension cord itself might have been damaged.
> 
> Sure, a coffee maker could be run off an extension cord without issues, but that's if you're using the right gauge. An average person with limited electrical knowledge would be likely to use whatever cord _looked right_ without considering what gauge or power rating it actually was. I doubt Chris has much in the way of electrical knowledge so there's that to consider.



Maybe if things don't pan out with his lawsuit against Keurig, he can try suing the manufacturer of the extension cord instead.


----------



## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 17, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> Chris was smoking meth and having gay sex during the fire.



While yelling   and destroying a vibrator in his asshole.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 17, 2014)

dcisp said:
			
		

> Shadow said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


it doesn't take much to power a quartz clock and maybe a light. A clock is going to draw a current in the µA (microamp) range (maybe more if it's constantly backlit or something). not even close to enough to cause a spark at all. 

The problem is that Chris plugged a heating device into an extension cord. That's a huge fire safety no-no since most extension cords are not rated for the amount of current that heating elements need to draw. He says it was off. I call bullshit.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

In light of this new information, I imagine this is what Keurig's defence lawyers are doing right now


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 17, 2014)

SilentObserver said:
			
		

> I doubt Chris has much in the way of electrical knowledge so there's that to consider.



Unless R.L. Stine wrote a book about electrical engineering Chris doesn't know about it.



			
				Some JERK said:
			
		

> The problem is that Chris plugged a heating device into an extension cord. That's a huge fire safety no-no since most extension cords are not rated for the amount of current that heating elements need to draw. He says it was off. I call bullshit.



Some coffee makers keep their element heated up whether its turned on or not. A Keurig would probably keep its element on.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 17, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Male said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I have to agree on this, he claimed to eat vegetables and basically ram them down his throat, and that he jogged 5 miles a day when called out on his unhealthy lifestyle.


----------



## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

*Fuck you, Chris.*



			
				butt in trouble said:
			
		

> "one should not be judged by their deeds"-Chris



*Wait....WHUT!?*

That is exactly what you *SHOULD* judge someone by.
It *SHOULD* be the ONLY criterion.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 17, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> In light of this new information, I imagine this is what Keurig's defence lawyers are doing right now
> http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb2 ... ughing.gif



I never get tired of looking at that gif.


----------



## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 17, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> SilentObserver said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Hot wire goes on the brass screw, neutral goes on the silver...

OH SHIT , A SLIME MONSTER


----------



## Male (Jan 17, 2014)

"people should be judged by seeing them face to face"
Well judging from Chris's face I can say he hasn't had a good shower in a while.


----------



## Some JERK (Jan 17, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> SilentObserver said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Do you mean to keep the coffee warm even though it's done brewing? or do you mean that some coffee makers keep their element pre-heated in some sort of "standby" mode? because i've actually never heard of that. (then again my coffee maker has always been a standard issue Mr. Coffee. You kids and your new-fangled contraptions.)


----------



## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 17, 2014)

Thetan said:
			
		

> Maybe if things don't pan out with his lawsuit against Keurig, he can try suing the manufacturer of the extension cord instead.


Dear lord, don't give him any ideas!


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 17, 2014)

Some of the more expensive ones keep it hot in standby mode. It's for white people.


----------



## CalmMyTits (Jan 17, 2014)

Some JERK said:
			
		

> Crazy Pacer said:
> 
> 
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My stepmother has this coffee brewer where you have these little cups of coffee grounds and you put them in the machine. I don't know what brand it is since I've only used it a few times when staying/visiting with my parents, but you can set the machine to heat up its water reserve at a set time so you have hot water ready to brew your coffee. I use it to make tea as well, just by telling the machine I need a mugful of hot water, so yeah some machines do use a standby heating element, though for my stepmother's machine it doesn't stay hot all night or anything like that.


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

*Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*

Wait, wait, wait....

I missed a days worth of this thread....

What is this nonsense about _the firemen stealing from the Hoard_?

Was this some weird joke on the part of this forum, or did Snorlax/Chris _actually accuse the firemen *of stealing*_?

Stealing useless garbage.
Stealing useless, water/smoke damaged garbage.
Stealing useless, water/smoke damaged garbage that smelled of dirty, crapped panties.


----------



## The Fair Lady (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*



			
				LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> Wait, wait, wait....
> 
> I missed a days worth of this thread....
> 
> ...


Yup, Barb believes at least one of them jacked her Dali painting.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*



			
				LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> Wait, wait, wait....
> 
> I missed a days worth of this thread....
> 
> ...



Yeah, it was a one-two punch of that and the whole extension cord thing. We've been spoiled today.
(did I mention that the fire happened on my birthday   )


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

Whether it was an oil painting or a paper print....both are flammable.
Unless is was stolen by mischievous Fire Elementals, then it went up in smoke with all her other garbage.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 17, 2014)

I imagine stuff you add hot water to being the only type of food they could store. If they used it enough I could see Chris leaving it constantly on stand-by mode so he could make ramen/noodles whenever he or Barb felt like it.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

"Don't judge somebody by their deeds, but by the content of their character."

It would be a compelling argument if deeds weren't a measure of character.


----------



## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 17, 2014)

That's right.  A very valuable copy of a painting was stolen by the firemen.  In addition, the cops stole an irreplaceable copy of the Constitution of the United States, which now means that it is void until it is recovered.


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 17, 2014)

Qqqqq said:
			
		

> Thetan posted some interesting things:
> 
> http://i.imgur.com/2nGXpqR.png
> 
> The coffee pot was outside the bathroom with an extension cord running into there. Fucking genius. Also it looks like Chris was planning on leaving the hoarde fire or no, possibly in full on stalker mode which is a little disturbing to say the least.



The person in the bottom email clearly reads the CWCki forums as they are referencing a lot of offhand remarks made in the fire threads. (Directly referencing the house tour videos, the "they were so keen to hoard crap but never fire extinguishers", and the comments about amperage generated by coffee makers and how bathroom outlets aren't made for that.) I don't know if that is Thetan or not as it's in a different font (Calibri) than the usual ones posted (Arial). Also, whomever is in the bottom email is a gal-pal, they censored one of the names very poorly, so that confirms that the gal-pals lurk these forums.


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*



			
				LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> Wait, wait, wait....
> 
> I missed a days worth of this thread....
> 
> ...


Excerpt from email:
"Plus, she lost her replica Dali painting that was worth a LOT; she theorized and believes someone stole the Dali, as well as her purse that had her set of keys and cards in it. There is at least one greedy firefighter in the group."


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## Some JERK (Jan 17, 2014)

Da Pickle Monsta said:
			
		

> "Don't judge somebody by their deeds, but by the content of their character."
> 
> It would be a compelling argument if deeds weren't a measure of character.


Yeah like I basically said in the updates thread, it would be nice to be able to look up to Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Jefferson, but i cant because I never hung out w those guys and only have access to the Record of things they accomplished and the thoughts and feelings that were so important to them that they wrote them down. 

They were probably dicks anyway.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> LordCustos3 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I'm assuming that they probably had a copy of "The Persistence of Memory" as that's easily the most recognizable Dali work.  I have a jigsaw puzzle of it that I paid nine American dollars for.

In their next email, I'm going to guess that they had an irreplaceable replica of Picasso's "Guernica."



			
				Some JERK said:
			
		

> Da Pickle Monsta said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



And let's not forget that John Wayne Gacy entertained children as a birthday clown and that Ted Bundy worked for a suicide hotline.  Deeds versus content of character, indeed.


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## qld (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: A Chandlerese Fire Drill*



			
				LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> ... playing Barbie Horse Fetish Adventures...



You got my thanks for THAT phrase alone!


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*



			
				GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> Excerpt from email:
> "Plus, she lost her replica Dali painting that was worth a LOT; she theorized and believes someone stole the Dali, as well as her purse that had her set of keys and cards in it. There is at least one greedy firefighter in the group."



"Plus, she lost her *replica* Dali painting that was worth a LOT"
"Plus, she lost her *replica* Dali painting that was worth a LOT"
"Plus, she lost her *replica* Dali painting that was worth a LOT"

No it wasn't.
Check here:
http://www.allposters.com/-st/Salvador-Dali-Posters_c23675_p4_.htm

Most of those prints are between $12-24 dollars. Which means in 100 years they'll be worth $12-24.
Its the original that appreciates in value, Chris'tard.
Because there is only one of it.
Replicas aren't worth jackshit.
Except to Fire Elementals. Who eat that shit up. Literally.



			
				qld said:
			
		

> LordCustos3 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Thanks. Anytime.


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## XYZpdq (Jan 17, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Do they even have power switches?


The one I had used a Power Button, but didn't have a hard on/off switch. Like how the slim PS2 only has a button but the fat one has the hard on/off in the back as well as the button.


----------



## snowkitten91 (Jan 17, 2014)

Chrissy said:
			
		

> ...but for the content of their character and soul that can only be derived from actual IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE time with them.



Really? Hm, let's see then...

He touches and creeps on any woman who goes near him, runs over business owners who tell him "no", mumbles shit about people behind their backs and, well, you get the picture. Definitely doesn't help his case, at all.   

And on that note, he plans to go back to Chesterfield? I predict jail-time, restriction orders or at least some JERK-husbands playing a round of "Kick the Autistic" if this does indeed happen.


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## qld (Jan 17, 2014)

Maybe Barb was counting on finding an original copy of the Declaration of Independence behind the Dali, since they bought it at Goodwill.  They _just knew_ it was there, but hadn't got around to confirming it yet.  Then the fire burned the Dali off, revealing the true wealth of the hoard, and the next thing you know, one of the firemen makes his score.  Probably what all the fuss is _really_ about.


----------



## Stuff and Things (Jan 17, 2014)

*Re: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!?*



			
				LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> GREEDY FIREMAN said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You just don't understand right? the damn firefighter stole their replica of dali, it doesn't matter if it is a replica, if the original is worth a lot of money, then the replica should be worth a lot of money as well!  the next thing you'll tell me is that chris's stack of used porn isn't worth $1000 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





Also, i just love how chris asks to not to be judged for his deems, when he's judging the person that risked his/her live to save his dirty, crapped ass, of stealing an useless replica and a purse, classic white trash bullshit.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 17, 2014)

dcisp said:
			
		

> Anchuent Christory said:
> 
> 
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> ...


Thanks, and I'm spergy enough to get the ps2 reference as well


----------



## Misto (Jan 17, 2014)

I've read several posts wonderiing whether Chris is racking up room service charges. FWIW, I'm sure State Farm put them up in an extended stay hotel - those don't have anything resembling room service, they usually just allow for pizza delivery and it's a separate charge from the hotel. I'm sure Chris  visits the vending machines several times a day though.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

Misto said:
			
		

> I've read several posts wonderiing whether Chris is racking up room service charges. FWIW, I'm sure State Farm put them up in an extended stay hotel - those don't have anything resembling room service, they usually just allow for pizza delivery and it's a separate charge from the hotel. I'm sure Chris  visits the vending machines several times a day though.



I wonder how much progress Chris and Barb are making with their home.  I've never lost a building to fire before, but I imagine there's a lot of red tape--coordinating with the insurance agent, getting figures for belongings that were lost in the fire, speaking with the bank about the mortgage, contacting the tax office, looking for alternate arrangements, updating their information with SSDI and Medicare, assisting the fire chief with his investigation of the fire, helping the insurance company with their investigation of the fire--all that and the actual physical task of sorting through their belongings and finding a place to store them.

I have a sinking feeling that Barb and Chris are lounging around the motel until whatever o'clock and only taking care of things when people call them.


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## qld (Jan 17, 2014)

Misto said:
			
		

> I've read several posts wonderiing whether Chris is racking up room service charges. FWIW, I'm sure State Farm put them up in an extended stay hotel - those don't have anything resembling room service, they usually just allow for pizza delivery and it's a separate charge from the hotel. I'm sure Chris  visits the vending machines several times a day though.



Exactly.  There's no reason for State Farm to put them up in a Marriott or Bed and Breakfast.  Maybe they get a (limited) per diem meal allowance, but I don't know why anyone would think insurance would spring for someplace with room service.  And if it's a Motel 6 (you can bring your pets) or Super 8, the Chandlers may not be the worst guests there when they have to compete with prostitution, crack heads and drug dealers.
Would you expect a Cadillac rental car in exchange for your wrecked Escort?  So why Room Service, Massages and Shoe Shines for 14 BLC?


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> Misto said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It was BASICALLY PROMISED.


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## snowkitten91 (Jan 17, 2014)

So, I was on Facebook and decided to check the Ruckersville Volunteer Fire Company page and some   posted "She came for CWC" in the comment section of the 14 BLC fire post.

I, I just...


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

You know, something about Chris's e-mail struck me as a familiar . . . 



			
				Martin Luther King Jr. said:
			
		

> I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will *not be judged by* the color of their skin *but by the content of their character. *



Goddamn it, Chris.  Really?  Ripping off MLK?


----------



## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

[youtube]UhD-0Xo5luY[/youtube]


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhD-0Xo5luY



The way he says "live in da kitchen" makes me wish painful dental surgery on him.

Edit: I just watched the whole thing.  God dammit Cat!


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## garbageraider (Jan 17, 2014)

The facebook page, in part:


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## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## HG 400 (Jan 17, 2014)

Da Pickle Monsta said:
			
		

> You know, something about Chris's e-mail struck me as a familiar . . .
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I tried to point that out on Updates but it didn't seem to get approved. I especially like the part where he completely perverts everything Dr. King was trying to say by claiming a man ought not be judged by his deeds.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 17, 2014)

I don't endorse weenery, but given what a massive asshole Chris is being, I'm enjoying it.  Let slip the dogs of war.


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Da Pickle Monsta said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Not really surprising that he'd rip off as an important historical figure as MLK, but I'm more amazed that he's able to recall even a portion of Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech.

Also, it's in tremendously bad taste.  Not that Chris would know that--or care--though.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 17, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> The facebook page, in part:





I know it's ween as hell, but AJB's comment got a good laugh out of me.


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> I don't endorse weenery, but given what a massive asshole Chris is being, I'm enjoying it.  Let slip the dogs of war.


They should at least keep it to Chris' Facebook page. I mean really, why hassle the fire department?


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 17, 2014)

GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Weenies gonna ween.


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## Butta Face Lopez (Jan 17, 2014)




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## pickleniggo (Jan 17, 2014)

Chris and Barb aren't going to be in a hotel for long right? Usually when houses are uninhabitable after a fire, the residents get a trailer set up in front of the home as a temporary residence until the repairs are finished.
I'm patiently awaiting the literal Trailer Trash Saga.


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## garbageraider (Jan 17, 2014)

GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Once again, it appears that Chris and his reputation is toxic to everything that unfortunately comes in contact with him.


----------



## qld (Jan 17, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Chris and Barb aren't going to be in a hotel for long right? Usually when houses are uninhabitable after a fire, the residents get a trailer set up in front of the home as a temporary residence until the repairs are finished.
> I'm patiently awaiting the literal Trailer Trash Saga.



What if trailers aren't allowable per zoning or neighborhood rules, or plain won't fit on the lot, or would be in the way of construction?


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (Jan 17, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> I don't endorse weenery, but given what a massive asshole Chris is being, I'm enjoying it.  Let slip the dogs of war.



I'd say let slip the hogs of war. Cause Chris is a fatty and Archer is awesome. 

Seriously go watch Archer right now!


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## pickleniggo (Jan 17, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Something tells me Ruckersville is pretty lax when it comes to "rules". And that something is the pictures of the outside of 14 Branchland Ct. 
As for being in the way? I've seen many trailers in much smaller yards.


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## Picklechu (Jan 18, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Chris and Barb aren't going to be in a hotel for long right? Usually when houses are uninhabitable after a fire, the residents get a trailer set up in front of the home as a temporary residence until the repairs are finished.
> I'm patiently awaiting the literal Trailer Trash Saga.



I'm not sure that 14BC will be repairable, to be honest, but we'll just have to wait and see. Regardless, they'll either be in an apartment or a trailer for either a short period of time (during repairs) or until   is so gone that even a PokeFlute can't wake her up, at which point the Group Home Saga may begin.

It would probably be better for both Barb and Chris to end up in an apartment, rather than a trailer, because they would be closer to others. In addition, the Hoard would be more difficult to rebuild in an apartment, whereas in a trailer Barb's hoarding would have no one to stop it.


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## Some JERK (Jan 18, 2014)

Sweet and Savoury said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Cry "ham-hock"?


----------



## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 18, 2014)

skyraider91 said:
			
		

> The facebook page, in part:



Fucking *really*?

Yeah, because _that's_ appropriate behavior. Posting pornographic content on the public wall of a volunteer fire department. I swear these people are as stupid as Chris at times, if not moreso.


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## Some JERK (Jan 18, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And yet people will say that we're hypocrites for looking down on weenery. Because clearly our discussions here are every bit as bad as _that_ fucking bullshit.


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## final purpose (Jan 18, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> If anyone would like me to love them forever, I am dying to see a drawing of Chris spraying himself in the face with the extinguisher as his coffee fire rages.








...more of an obsession ...Tubes

(I hope this works!)


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 18, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> skyraider91 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well done, Ed Zachary and Andrew Jackson Bennett! (slow clap)


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 18, 2014)

14.98? That's alotta yen!


----------



## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 18, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> 14.98? That's alotta yen!



Life is too short for cheap sheet cake.


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 18, 2014)

final purpose said:
			
		

> Tubular Monkey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



You're doing Godbear's work.  A blessing be on you and your family.  I nominate this for the next Picture of the Now at the CWCki.


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 18, 2014)

So we know what caused the fire.


----------



## Sweet and Savoury (Jan 18, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> So we know what caused the fire.



meh, we always knew what caused the fire...stupidity


----------



## final purpose (Jan 18, 2014)

Thank You, Batman!
(never actually thought I would have an opportunity to say that ...y'know ...in real life)


hereitis ...with less shades of grey.







also;

portions of court transcript(CWC vs.et al)

CWC: I tried to put out the fire another way, your Honor.

Judge: Another way, son?

CWC: yassah, I was going to pee on it!

laughter from court

Judge: Order! order ...

CWC: ...but there's something terribly wrong down there ...

Judge: wrong? you mean the fire?

CWC:  no, I mean this .....zip!

Judge:  Let the record show that the plaintiff's aim would have been off....


I'm not going to draw that. It was just on my mind...for just a second.


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 18, 2014)

So Dum-dum's coffee maker was attached to an extension cord coming from inside the bathroom and he thinks that should have ensured there would have been no overloading that could cause a fire?






And the weens are going nuts on related FB pages?






On this occasion anyway. At least these weens can be funny.


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 18, 2014)

Basically. With the information we have now we know what caused the fire.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 18, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> So Dum-dum's coffee maker was attached to an extension cord coming from inside the bathroom and he thinks that should have ensured there would have been no overloading that could cause a fire?
> 
> http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-scPTFuC7faE/U ... eLaugh.gif
> 
> ...




We need a memeber named "cwc cage"


----------



## Tubular Monkey (Jan 18, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> Basically. With the information we have now we know what caused the fire.



Chris's TMI complaining will serve as all the evidence needed against the Chandlers.  Dare I say naive?


----------



## CWCissey (Jan 18, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> CWCissey said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Or CWColas Cage.

Either way, photoshop Chris' mug onto Nic Cage's head.


----------



## FatNero (Jan 18, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> Or CWColas Cage.



Genius.


----------



## JFKdestroyer (Jan 18, 2014)

$5 says the "heavy duty extension cord" is some mangled old extension cord that Bob had to replace an end or two on.

The lawyers are clamoring to take the case... on Keurig's side.


----------



## EI 903 (Jan 18, 2014)

My guess is that the extension cord was one of those flimsy cheap white ones with three plugs at the end that's meant for clocks and laptops and stuff like that. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the fire extinguisher was a small one that discharged entirely in one poorly-aimed burst.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 18, 2014)

Hellblazer said:
			
		

> Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the fire extinguisher was a small one that discharged entirely in one poorly-aimed burst.



... I-I can't tell if that's innuendo or not.


----------



## wheat pasta (Jan 18, 2014)

BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
			
		

> Hellblazer said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Small tank; LOTS of cum nitrogen.


----------



## Sovandie (Jan 18, 2014)

I know I'm a little late to this party, but I'm going to go ahead and waste my first post with a big screw you, Barb. If I were in her situation I'd be on my knees thanking GodBear and the firefighters that myself, my son and my cats weren't all burned alive.


----------



## garbageraider (Jan 18, 2014)

Sovandie said:
			
		

> I know I'm a little late to this party, but I'm going to go ahead and waste my first post with a big screw you, Barb. If I were in her situation I'd be on my knees thanking GodBear and the firefighters that myself, my son and my cats weren't all burned alive.


The level of Bitch that Barbara Chandler is, is epic. Don't be suprised.


----------



## LordCustos3 (Jan 18, 2014)

wheat pasta said:
			
		

> BatmanVSTonyDanza said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Smells of orange fanta and concentrated fail.


----------



## Smokedaddy (Jan 18, 2014)

CalmMyTits said:
			
		

> Anything that is plugged in still draws a current, however miniscule. Turn off your TV, it's still getting a tiny bit of power. If you were to unplug anything you're not using - tv, computer, chargers, coffeemaker, hair dryer, and so on, you would save a bit on your power bill (but not much, really)



what

I mean seriously, 

what

Anything that's plugged in?  Really?  Wow, the stuff they don't tell you in school.

Yes, Chris's coffeemaker and my computer and my monitors and the mouses and keyboardses and the DVR and the TV all use a little power all the time (not _strictly_ true -- I can flip the rear-panel breaker on the computer's power supply, for instance) but they're sleeping in a low-power state, not disconnected.  Many modern devices draw a trickle to run their clocks or maintain memory or battery charge or whatever, but an open circuit is an open circuit.  If something isn't turned on and isn't in some sort of sleep or standby mode (i.e. is disconnected from any available current by a physical switch), it ain't drawing anything.  The electrons, they flow not.   If current can make it across an open switch, it can make it across the air gap to anything, plugged in or not, can't it?  What special magic is granted by the act of plugging something in?  How does it know it's plugged in?  What's the difference between plugged in with an open switch, and unplugged?  The size of the air gap is all I can think of.  What is the maximum distance where it'll still draw power, I.e. how far do you have to have the plug of your hair dryer from the outlet before it starts using another outlet, and how does it know which one is closer? If power is switched off to the house, does all your stuff suck electrons from the neighbors?  I guess quantum tunneling could explain it, where an electron can have zero probability of being in a particular place but can show up on the other side of  (your computer and anything else with a semiconductor in it sort of depends on this) but that usually only works with very small distances (think: picometers), or maybe it's only been _tried_ with very small distances and nobody ever took the big, broad, flexible view.  Cretins.   

Does this apply to DC power too?  If you put a battery in a flashlight but don't turn it on, does the battery drain faster than if it wasn't put in at all?  What if you turn the flashlight on but don't install the battery?  What's the difference?  What if you don't _have_ a battery?  Does it find the nearest one and use that?

It could be one of those weird AC things that Tesla guy was always on about, I s'pose . . . square root of the mean amplitude squared and like that . . . but (forget the earth ground, it doesn't matter for our purposes) we have our AC hot and our AC common, and if one or both isn't connected current still flows?  Fascinating.  Can you just connect something's  ground and suck power from the mains?  Do your room lights draw power when turned off?  Unless they're some kind of funky-ass computerized doodad switch instead of a good ol' make-or-break, the answer is NYET.  Zero. Zilch. Nada. -- or at least I thought so.  What about when you don't pay the bill and the power company cuts your place off?  They throw a switch is outside on the meter box, but it's still a switch, so you're still really using power, right?  The "device" here is "all your stuff'" (it's just been switched off, which doesn't matter, as we have seen), so the total consumption from all of it should be at least measurable.  Is it a current thing, a voltage thing, or some strange and baffling combination of the two like power (the one times the other, the unit is watts)-- how many watts, roughly, does the average house draw when it's cut off from the power grid?

A good experimental verification would be to use the second-simplest of electric circuits, the short.  Cut off one end of an extension cord (or a lamp cord, or whatever), separate the hot and common wires if they need it, and strip the ends.  How far apart do you have to get them before it stops constantly blowing the breaker?  Will one inch work?  A foot?  Ten feet?  A parsec?  Hey, the device is still plugged in, so it must be drawing power, and resistance is essentially zero (milliohms at most, from corrosion on the surface of the wires) so nothing regulates the current.   Is the only possible outcome that it'll overload the wall circuit if plugged in, no matter whether there's a circuit or not?  _Really?_

(That will also work with the very simplest of all circuits, the open circuit, which isn't a circuit at all but I'm being told we don't need them. But they don't blow your breaker, not nearly as obvious a result, so it'd be hard to tell.)

What if your device has a broken wire?  That's no different than an open switch, is it?  (If so, how?)  How much power does a 60-watt lamp use if you cut the cord?   59 watts?  More?  Less?

Damn, I gotta get a new meter, and the last one was freaking expensive.  Here I thought you if you wanted to use power, you needed a circuit; the foundations of my reality have been shaken, I tell you.  Shaken.  It's time to start drinking in _earnest._

(In the interest of full disclosure, there's an EE degree floating around here someplace in my hoard unless one of those damned firemen was sneaking around again.)


----------



## Misto (Jan 18, 2014)

One of my clients is a very large insurance company, one of State Farm's main competitors. So I was asking my friend there about the chances of the Chandlers being compensated for the fire, comsidering the circumstances.

Basically, even if they find negligence contributed to the fire, they are obligated to pay in the vast majority of cases. However, considering the bad publicity that could be generated from this case (i.e., "Tonight on News at Nine, State Farm leaves a 70 year old woman and her autistic son homeless to freeze on the streets, more information after the break"), they will most definitely be paid a just amount and maybe a bit more as a gesture of goodwill. Based on what my friend told me, the most likely scenario seems to be that they bulldoze the house down and put a mobile home there. 

On the positive side, that will save Chris the exercise of occasionally going up and down the stairs.


----------



## Attention_Whore (Jan 18, 2014)

Misto said:
			
		

> One of my clients is a very large insurance company, one of State Farm's main competitors. So I was asking my friend there about the chances of the Chandlers being compensated for the fire, comsidering the circumstances.
> 
> Basically, even if they find negligence contributed to the fire, they are obligated to pay in the vast majority of cases. However, considering the bad publicity that could be generated from this case (i.e., "Tonight on News at Nine, State Farm leaves a 70 year old woman and her autistic son homeless to freeze on the streets, more information after the break"), they will most definitely be paid a just amount and maybe a bit more as a gesture of goodwill. Based on what my friend told me, the most likely scenario seems to be that they bulldoze the house down and put a mobile home there.
> 
> On the positive side, that will save Chris the exercise of occasionally going up and down the stairs.



How would Barb hoard in a trailer/ mobilhome though?
My headcanon is that she would set up a tent camp all around the trailer, and underneath a vast, expanding network of caves and tunnels, filled to the brim with worthless tat. Thus begins the Legend of Barb the Always Pretty, Queen of the Lonesome Mountain.


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## Doge (Jan 18, 2014)

> There is at least one greedy firefighter in the group.



But Chris! As a wise man once said...



> ... One should not be judged by their deeds, but by the content of their character and souls that can only be derived from ACTUAL, IN PERSON, FACE TO FACE time with them.


----------



## Attention_Whore (Jan 18, 2014)

Doge said:
			
		

> > There is at least one greedy firefighter in the group.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Chris probably caught a glimpse of the firefighter's face while he was *risking his life to put out a fire* and knew in that instant the firefighter had a Greedy Soul.


----------



## The Nameless One (Jan 18, 2014)

Smokedaddy said:
			
		

> CalmMyTits said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


TL;DR: "Actually, anything that isn't turned on and doesn't have a low-power sleep/standby mode has an air gap in its circuit, essentially the same as if it were completely unplugged."


----------



## Donald Duck (Jan 18, 2014)

OPL said:
			
		

> One should not be judged by their deeds, but by the content of their character and soul



Butchered words stolen from MLK aside (since when has Chris ever been original?), what does he expect people to see? Looking at the content of his character and "soul, I and anyone with a functioning set of eyes see someone who is just as ugly and repulsive mentally and physically as we would see him based solely on his deeds.

And it's just so typical of Chris isn't it? He tries to defend his stupid actions (plugging a coffee maker in a bathroom outlet) with something just as, if not more, stupid (plugging a fucking extension cord in said outlet)...


----------



## RP 520 (Jan 18, 2014)

Attention_Whore said:
			
		

> How would Barb hoard in a trailer/ mobilhome though?
> My headcanon is that she would set up a tent camp all around the trailer, and underneath a vast, expanding network of caves and tunnels, filled to the brim with worthless tat. Thus begins the Legend of Barb the Always Pretty, Queen of the Lonesome Mountain.



Watch the show Hoarders, there were a few mobile home hordes, it can be done. 

I imagine the hoard will be much much smaller this time though since the slime blobs Barb and Chris don't have the finances anymore to build up a good horde in a reasonable amount of time. The horde took 20 years to get that bad and Barb, in her current state, can't get out and shop compulsively on her own anymore and Chris is only good for grocery shopping. Barb also will likely not live for another 20 years. Plus they're are far too lazy and disabled to move most of the horde from one house to the next and I doubt anyone would help them with it before the house is bulldozed. So on the bright side they won't have to worry about blocked off rooms or narrow passage ways.


----------



## Jackie Chin (Jan 18, 2014)

I wonder what the reaction was from the firefighters when they saw Chris' room


----------



## Dr.Research (Jan 18, 2014)

Jackie Chin said:
			
		

> I wonder what the reaction was from the firefighters when they saw Chris' room



"Are we sure the 8 year old boy got out alright?"


----------



## Smutley (Jan 18, 2014)

The Nameless One said:
			
		

> Smokedaddy said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



For the record, all Kuerig brand coffee makers have a hard on/off switch on the back of them.  Low-end consumer grade ones in the $70-100 range auto-shut off after a minute or so from their single use application because you have to fill them with water each time.  Higher end multiple people or office style models with reservoirs have built in clocks that can set a times-of-use and then turn themselves off outside those hours.

What I'm saying is, either he was using it at 2am, or they didn't set the features built in to the coffee maker that would have prevented this.


----------



## CatParty (Jan 18, 2014)

OPL said:
			
		

> One should not be judged by their deeds, but by the content of their character and soul



He's autistic. He has neither character nor a soul.


----------



## Spork (Jan 18, 2014)

OPL said:
			
		

> One should not be judged by their deeds, but by the content of their character and soul


Funny. I thought that looking at someone's actions was the only way to truly understand their character.


----------



## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 18, 2014)

Spork said:
			
		

> OPL said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well, it's entirely possibly for a reclusive shut-in to have a good moral compass and to be a really nice guy.  Just nobody sees it because he spends 90% of his time inside playing video games.  Now, you take the same person and have him start taking a job, providing for a family, volunteering in the community, voting in elections and donating blood and you have yourself a person who most people would consider and upstanding individual.

You can do all that and still be a complete ass, though, if you treat waitresses like shit, hit on women other than your wife, and beat your kids.  Deeds--and, just as importantly, how you treat others--are really the only way we have to measure a person unless you're willing to overlook a lot of things.


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 18, 2014)

OPL said:
			
		

> One should not be judged by their deeds, but by the content of their character and soul



Content of character and soul... Uhm... Okay... He's narcissistic, greedy, dishonest, desperate, I mean what's more to say? That sounds like the contests of his character right? Because one's actions reveals one's character last time I checked.


----------



## MY 405 (Jan 18, 2014)

We've met his character, it's on paper, it's how most of us got here in the first place.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 18, 2014)

His little bastardisation of the MLK speech is just his defense to the fact that a person can list any number of examples to Chris where he has been selfish, spiteful, rude, unpleasant, greedy, dishonest, lazy, arrogant, naive, and inconsiderate. 
But none of that matters, because as far as Chris is concerned, he has a good soul and that absolves him of any wrongdoing.


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## bigshot (Jan 18, 2014)

Do you think Barb's masterpiece was like this one?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Dali-Persistenc ... 51b7c8a73a


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## timtommy (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't blame Chris for the fire. Here are, by my reckoning the causes of the fire.
1. They were boiling water near the downstairs bathroom for some reason. If it were up to Chris, he would probably be living in his bedroom and doing any "cooking" in the kitchen just outside it. But the hoard closed the kitchen, and Barb closed Chris off from his room. BARB'S FAULT.
2. The boiling of water was not done entirely safely. Could be Chris' fault. But he was put in a situation where it was difficult to do it safely. I am sure the coffee maker arrangement had some flaws. Various people have talked about extension cord grades and so on, which made it unsafe. But a lot of people, including me, don't know anything about extension cord grades. My guess is a huge proportion of the population would say "cord too short? Get an extension cord. That one will do". 
3. There was a hoard which acted as tinder. BARB'S FAULT.

So we have 3 major contributing factors. 2 are Barb's fault. 1 may be Chris', but it is a common mistake, which is put into a position to make because of Barb, and only causes problems because of Barb.

No matter how much of a douche-truck he is in his reaction, this is Barb's fault.


----------



## Mayor McCheese (Jan 18, 2014)

I'd like to see a Dali-Esque portrait of Barb, be funny if someone made it and sent it to her.


----------



## Kyoosand (Jan 18, 2014)

First, Chris had a hate-on towards babysitters.

Then he added teachers and school board officials to his shit list when they dared to defy him.

Later, as his hormones exploded, he declared war on *ALL MALES ON EARTH* except for his Dad for the High Crime of taking all the pretty girls so he would have none.

Then later, store security guards and the police were added to The List. Dictator Chris even banned all cops from CWCville and now his Sonichu gang roams it's streets like the Taliban on a terrified population, ready to execute all who are caught being naughty.

And now, it's firefighters (where will Chris insert the "Jerk-" tagline?).

This brings me to wonder how Chris is going to handle being in an apartment complex environment (which is 99% certain for him to end up) if he has all this hate inside of him and he's forced to walk amongst us. Even if he holes up in his bedroom day after day, he still has to poke his head out and deal with the occasional encounter with passing neighbors. Also, annual inspections by the manager are sure to crack down on him if the apartment ever shows any signs of becoming 14BLC Mk II . 

Sure, Chris had lived in an apartment before, but he seemed to be happy in his High School GalPal delusions and he had Bob around to keep him on a leash, plus he was nowhere as batshit insane and brimming with Hate as he is today. All he has to do is blow up at some kids playing too close to his front door, and their shirtless hillbilly Dad is going to come over and play Kick the Autistic.

And if he ever does get stalky at his former HSGPs, things are sure to get wacky.

I dunno about you guys, but the Post-BLC Apartment Saga is going to be quite eventful.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 18, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> First, Chris had a hate-on towards babysitters.
> 
> Then he added teachers and school board officials to his shit list when they dared to defy him.
> 
> ...



I don't want to sound mean spirited or  , but I hope you're right. In my armchair professional opinion, Chris isn't going to get better and Barb gave up over a decade ago. His only real options are to: A) be ridiculous  B) be ridiculous and regularly give us da update on it or C) get off the internet and stop being ridiculous. 
And in all honestly, even if he does drop off the face of the Internet permanently, it's not gonna stop certain people from discussing him


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 18, 2014)

Mayor McCheese said:
			
		

> I'd like to see a Dali-Esque portrait of Barb, be funny if someone made it and sent it to her.


Her and Chris melting instead of clocks?


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## Picklechu (Jan 18, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> And now, it's firefighters (where will Chris insert the "Jerk-" tagline?).



Firefighterks?


----------



## Hyperion (Jan 18, 2014)

Chris will come up with some ridiculous name for the firefighters that makes sense only to him. I expect him to use his expertise in the Spanish language to make a super clever puntastic name.







Picture unrelated


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## Shadow (Jan 18, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> Kyoosand said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Don't you mean get off the internet and stop being ridiculous_ where everyone can see him_?


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## Mayor McCheese (Jan 18, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> First, Chris had a hate-on towards babysitters.
> 
> Then he added teachers and school board officials to his shit list when they dared to defy him.
> 
> ...




He'll be a reverse Dr Grigori Perelman but on the bright side if he gets a PS4 and PS Camera he'll become a star again on twitch.


----------



## _blank_ (Jan 18, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Here to provide today's dose of nightmare fuel and provide absolutely nothing insightful to this thread.
(and if the admins are so inclined, I'll take the role of CWColas Cage because I'm crazy enough to do it.)

And excuse the double post but... had to be done. Okay, I'll stop now. For now. Maybe.


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## pickleniggo (Jan 18, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

> Mayor McCheese said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



No, hanging DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS instead of melting clocks.


----------



## SmugTomato (Jan 18, 2014)

pickleniggo said:
			
		

> R.A.E.L. said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



_The Persistence of Memory (of DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS)_

I was reading the chatlog from the Emily date and Bob had a pretty good life overall. At least he had two kids that weren't fuckups.


----------



## ChurchOfGodBear (Jan 18, 2014)

TheWarp said:
			
		

> I was reading the chatlog from the Emily date and Bob had a pretty good life overall. At least he had two kids that weren't fuckups.



Barb's spawn were all useless bozos.  Bob kids turned out okay, but for reasons we can guess at, wanted nothing to do with him.

I think when it comes to "who was the shittier parent", we might need to call that a draw.


----------



## drmccoy (Jan 18, 2014)

ChurchOfGodBear said:
			
		

> TheWarp said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Barb. By far. Bob had issues but he was old, tired and probably just fucking done with his moronic last offspring. Cole, for ALL of his issues at least is in a decent position in life after alienating his hoarder mother. Chris is a product of a man who tried but wanted to rest and a nutty hoarder with wacked out ideas of how to deal with children. 

Barb is the one currently holding Chris back from what little happiness he could have in life without being a total asshole. She's probably his biggest influence on how to deal with the outside world.


----------



## LordCustos3 (Jan 18, 2014)

Smokedaddy said:
			
		

> CalmMyTits said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yup.
Its a real thing.
Google "Vampire Current" or "Phantom Load"
Yeah, I know it sounds like the names of bad horror/romance novels.


----------



## pickleniggo (Jan 18, 2014)

LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> Smokedaddy said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I grew up in a home where my mother refused to leave any unused appliances plugged in because of this. It wasn't a money-saving thing, but more of a fear of a house fire. If I left the toaster plugged in after use, I was in _big_ trouble. To this day, I panic if I think I left something plugged in.


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## cahoots (Jan 18, 2014)

Don't know which thread to drop this in, so I'll leave it here...

Unfunny vs Naive





Also, the Ruckersville Fire Dept. Facebook page has deleted all the ween comments.


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## Count groudon (Jan 18, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

> Don't know which thread to drop this in, so I'll leave it here...
> 
> Unfunny vs Naive
> http://i40.tinypic.com/11jqemo.png
> ...


That Jon guy is a total douche. Who just randomly posts something like that?


----------



## cahoots (Jan 18, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> cahoots said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



His job is listed as "aspiring comedian" (moar like asspie, amirite?), but I believe what he really does is construction or something like that.



			
				Count groudon said:
			
		

> cahoots said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



He's bitching right now because someone reported him to Facebook.


----------



## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 18, 2014)

Person: "Sometimes I wish the world would just explode"

Waterman: "... but someone might get hurt!"

Jon: "COCKTITTIES HASHBROWNS PLEASE LOOK AT ME"


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Jan 18, 2014)

This Jon prick. reminds me of somebody. Who else do we know that has zero social grace, manages to piss of everybody he comes into contact with, and is completely oblivious to others?

Hang on, it'll come to me...


----------



## BatNapalm (Jan 18, 2014)

I don't expect Jon and Waterhead's facebook friendship to last. They're just two different kinds of douchebag, it'll never work.


----------



## Picklechu (Jan 18, 2014)

BatNapalm said:
			
		

> I don't expect Jon and Waterhead's facebook friendship to last. They're just two different kinds of douchebag, it'll never work.


[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k [/youtube]


----------



## Burning Love (Jan 18, 2014)

As someone who has legitimately been sexually assaulted more than once, let me just say, I am way more offended at Waterhead's stupidity than at Jon's attempts to be funny. Keep trying Waterhead, you're well on your way to being the nice guy permavirgin. And nothing of value was lost.


----------



## cahoots (Jan 18, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Pics?


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 18, 2014)

*The Clod Couple*



			
				BatNapalm said:
			
		

> I don't expect Jon and Waterhead's facebook friendship to last. They're just two different kinds of douchebag, it'll never work.



(theme music from "The Odd Couple" begins)


_On November 13, William Waterhead was asked to remove himself from his place of residence; that request came from his Mom. Deep down, he knew she was right, but he also knew that some day he would return to the basement. With nowhere else to go, he appeared at the home of an online acquantance, Oneye Jackoff. Several years earlier, Jackoff's girlfriend had thrown HIM out, threatening to shoot him in the face if he ever returned. Can two unfunny, joy-sucking cumstains share an apartment without driving each other crazy? 
_

(montage of two idiotic, spiteful manchildren doing stupid, self-destructive things, all played off as dark, slapstick "comedy")
(Theme music ends. Sane people shoot their TV screens in self-defense as they feel the IQ points drain from their brainpans.)


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## rocket (Jan 18, 2014)

this dude is a bad day away from an ED page


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 18, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> this dude is a bad day away from an ED page



He sounds like one of the twirps who adds "nigger nigger nigger" to any ED page he edits, just to see it get reverted by the next editor the next day.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 18, 2014)

Burning Love said:
			
		

> Keep trying Waterhead, you're well on your way to being the nice guy permavirgin.



Nah, he'd just have to wait until the next family reunion.


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## Hyperion (Jan 18, 2014)

Weenman and Jon should just admit they love each other and fuck.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 18, 2014)

cahoots said:
			
		

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What the fuck is wrong with this guy's friends? Are they all as despicable as him?


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## Horde Prime (Jan 18, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> I don't blame Chris for the fire. Here are, by my reckoning the causes of the fire.
> 1. They were boiling water near the downstairs bathroom for some reason. If it were up to Chris, he would probably be living in his bedroom and doing any "cooking" in the kitchen just outside it. But the hoard closed the kitchen, and Barb closed Chris off from his room. BARB'S FAULT.
> 2. The boiling of water was not done entirely safely. Could be Chris' fault. But he was put in a situation where it was difficult to do it safely. I am sure the coffee maker arrangement had some flaws. Various people have talked about extension cord grades and so on, which made it unsafe. But a lot of people, including me, don't know anything about extension cord grades. My guess is a huge proportion of the population would say "cord too short? Get an extension cord. That one will do".
> 3. There was a hoard which acted as tinder. BARB'S FAULT.
> ...



Well this is a slippery slope my friend.  Technically Chris's very existence could be blamed on Barb so, where do we draw the line...


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 18, 2014)

Is *any* of this Facebook stuff relevant to Chris?


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## bradsternum (Jan 18, 2014)

Hey, Jon, what you did was edgy and groundbreaking. In the 80s. But after Dice Clay and Kinison, people stopped giving a fuck. 

And now, back to Chris.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 18, 2014)

Smokedaddy said:
			
		

> what
> 
> I mean seriously,
> 
> ...



I always picture Cranky Kong when I read your posts, Smoke.


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## cahoots (Jan 18, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

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Pretty much, its a lot of friend's baby mama drama and other white trash adventures most of the time. Jon usually posts at least one unfunny sexual punchline (that he stole from somewhere else) daily. Because he's edgey, and wants you to know that. 



			
				Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Is *any* of this Facebook stuff relevant to Chris?



No. But it was a slow content day and these are two current people in Christory on his friend's list doing stupid things, especially on a site who's motto is "no shit is too minor".


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## CatParty (Jan 18, 2014)

Jesus guys. Don't give waterman or Jon attention. Who really cares?  They have nothing to do with Chris. The poster of the grabs "didn't know where to put them". Simple, put the grabs in the trash because they have no relevance to anything.


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## KatsuKitty (Jan 18, 2014)

Yes. This forum isn't to discuss people marginally peripheral to Chris in detail.


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## cahoots (Jan 19, 2014)

KatsuKitty said:
			
		

> Yes. This forum isn't to discuss people marginally peripheral to Chris in detail.



Makes sense, I was overzealous in my digging.


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## Hyperion (Jan 19, 2014)

I'm willing to forgive him. It provides a snap shot of what related weens are up to.


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (Jan 19, 2014)

So with Chris quickly being so sure it was the coffee brewer's fault, the fire starting in the bathroom, new info about the extension cord leading FROM the bathroom outlet to the hall, and a good chance that there was no standy-by mode on the brewer Chris used it seems very likely Chris started the coffee maker and saw the fire start due to shitty wiring and bad judgement. I'm wondering if Chris possibly being the only one witnessing the fire start is why he's being a bit tight-lipped (By Chris standards) about what happened. Even if all of that is true it doesn't change that this is pretty much Barb's fault.

Chris was just the retard sent to push the button that triggered the event. Holdek's profile pic is 100% accurate.


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## Hyperion (Jan 19, 2014)

In the end Chris is basically faultless. He's essentially a child. Barb is the one who allowed him to do such monumentally stupid things involving extension cords and coffee makers.


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## qld (Jan 19, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> In the end Chris is basically faultless. He's essentially a child. Barb is the one who allowed him to do such monumentally stupid things involving extension cords and coffee makers.



Mind if I call for a new donation drive to babby-proof the Chandlers new and improved house (whatever it may be)?


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## Hyperion (Jan 19, 2014)

qld said:
			
		

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It would be very charitable.


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## qld (Jan 19, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

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Good, Good!  But like a babby before me said, "I am babby, so I have no money!"  So it is all on you kind folks.


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## Count groudon (Jan 19, 2014)

So he was making coffee in the bathroom. Makes sense, I mean what else would you use a bathroom for? Showering?


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## qld (Jan 19, 2014)

Count groudon said:
			
		

> So he was making coffee in the bathroom. Makes sense, I mean what else would you use a bathroom for? Showering?



Duh!  You use the lower bathroom to store your junk mail and old magazines! Don't you know anything?


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## pickleparty (Jan 19, 2014)

I feel empathy for the chandler's house being ruined i too have that happened to me (not in a fire),yet the chandlers have managed to squander that in less than a week  .Truly  a pathetic situation and knowing the chandler's nothing substantial will change in either of them.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 19, 2014)

_blank_ said:
			
		

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We're this far into the "CWColas Cage" gag and not one person has posted "HOW'D IT GET BURNED" yet? For shame.



			
				Batman said:
			
		

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According to his Facebook account he's the "Head Nigga In Charge" at Pizza Hut. Aim high.

_"YOU EVER NOTICE PIZZAS ARE A LOT LIKE BLACK PEOPLE? YOU GOTTA PUT 'EM IN THE OVEN. NO I MEAN THEY'RE LIKE JEWS, BECAUSE HA HA HITLER. PIZZAS ARE LIKE JEWS. NIGGER NIGGER, EDGY JOKE. TRANNIES."_ - Jon "Theoneeyedguy" Webber, on philosophy


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## CWCissey (Jan 19, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> We're this far into the "CWColas Cage" gag and not one person has posted "HOW'D IT GET BURNED" yet? For shame.



Because we know how it got burned! Dumb and Dumber overloaded their shitty wiring and caused a blowout!

Myself, I'm waiting for Chris' face shooped onto Ghost Rider's flaming skull.


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## EI 903 (Jan 19, 2014)

CWCissey said:
			
		

> Myself, I'm waiting for Chris' face shooped onto Ghost Rider's flaming skull.



A flaming skull shooped onto a classic Chris pic would work, too. Ghost Rider rolling up to confront Galactus with his Sonichu medallion would be priceless.


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## CatParty (Jan 19, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> In the end Chris is basically faultless. He's essentially a child. Barb is the one who allowed him to do such monumentally stupid things involving extension cords and coffee makers.




Well, the fire is just the physical embodiment of the failure of his life. Where barb has created the perfect situation for disaster, not caring about anyone but herself. All Chris has to do is what he always does, something monumentally stupid. And voilà, his world burns around him.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 19, 2014)

Can we please un-person this Jon loser and forbid mentioning him ever again as a policy of the TOS? He seems minimally related to Christory at best and more pathetic than the Unknown Autobot, and that's saying something.

In this case, his shit IS too minor.



			
				Hellblazer said:
			
		

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Some anon artist made Chris into a Red Lantern. All that rage would be put to good use at least.









			
				CatParty said:
			
		

> Crazy Pacer said:
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1. Chris isn't a child. He's just an extremely stupid man who refused to grow up. A child still a sense of innocent around them. Chris' mind is a reeking sewer of hate, arrogance, and madness. Everything about him is dark & ugly.

2. Barb is the box of oily rags and Chris is the match. The two of them together guarantees disaster.


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## teheviltwin (Jan 19, 2014)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> In the end Chris is basically faultless. He's essentially a child. Barb is the one who allowed him to do such monumentally stupid things involving extension cords and coffee makers.



Except for those times where he deliberately lies or continues to do something after he has been told repeatedly to stop. Like touching women. In the case of the fire I blame Blarb but not all of Chris's "stupidity" is so innocent.


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## Attention_Whore (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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Chris is definitely a kid in many ways, but very desperately tries to be an adult in other ways. You can't have the best of both worlds though. If you want to be an adult, you have to take the responsibilities that come with it.


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## QI 541 (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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If Chris acts like a child, it's only because he chooses to do so.


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## CatParty (Jan 19, 2014)

raymond said:
			
		

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A "manchild" if you will.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 19, 2014)

rocket said:
			
		

> this dude is a bad day away from an ED page



Jon or Waterhead? Because Waterhead could always get a page connected to Chris.


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## ShittyRecolor (Jan 19, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

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Ah, that's some Xanabit goodness, the TRUE and HONEST creator of Fear and Loathing in CWCville! Fine stuff! His Orange Langern Chris is cool as well:






As for CWColas Cage, why not photoshop his mug at Big Daddy form Kick-Ass when he's being barbecued... oops! I'm a terrible person.


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## Marvin (Jan 19, 2014)

Attention_Whore said:
			
		

> Chris is definitely a kid in many ways, but very desperately tries to be an adult in other ways.


Pfft, Chris doesn't desperately try to be an adult. Chris desperately wants to continue his childish life, but reality is _forcing_ him to be an adult. So he's trying to find the adult life possibility that is closest to his ideal, childish life.

Hence him trying to find a heartsweet that will let him be the "house-husband." So he can sit around all day playing video games, like he used to do.


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## FatNero (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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I don't think it's a choice anymore. It may have been a choice at some point, probably about the time he got his gig at Wendy's but now? That's some deep seeded behavior. He's so far in it he can't see what's wrong with it. Even a spoiled child knows when they've done something wrong... Chris in many ways doesn't seem to have a concept of "Wrong" when it pertains to himself. So I don't think he's a child, or that he chooses to act like one. Instead he's some unique form of selfish and self absorbed. Hell I'd be amazed if he even has the ability to understand that everyday people are any more real than his comics.


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## Burning Love (Jan 19, 2014)

FatNero said:
			
		

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deep seated*


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## Attention_Whore (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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Or maybe when he says window into hell, he's actually confusing windows with mirrors.


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## FatNero (Jan 19, 2014)

Burning Love said:
			
		

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Crap.


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## ShittyRecolor (Jan 19, 2014)

FatNero is truly the FatSocrates of our time.


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## Horde Prime (Jan 19, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

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Since becoming interested in and following Chris this is something I've found truly fascinating.  That is his plan for the future.  Find someone who will just take care of him.  And he thinks that it's possible.  Like there is some woman out there who would be ok with doing everything, making all the money, doing all the cooking and chores, and washing his dirty crapped briefs.  As far as I can tell he thinks finding a woman like this is completely realistic.  Who wouldn't want a man like him?


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 19, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> Like there is some woman out there who would be ok with doing everything, making all the money, doing all the cooking and chores, and washing his dirty crapped briefs.



 did that for much of his life.  Unfortunately for Chris, her warranty is about up.

If you want to understand him, remember that Barb is insane and that Chris has had to use her as his template for reality.


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## Hyperion (Jan 19, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

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Chris is a child. A really, really stupid child.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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True, but I know who I'd rather go for a drink with.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

A child is innocent, unaware of the ways of the world because they aren't yet responsible for their own person. As one grows up one learns (or is _supposed_ to learn) these responsibilities. 

Chris may not know what every adult should but he had the chance and ultimately learned nothing. That is his own fault. Autistics are capable of learning these basic responsibilities even if they can't always comprehend the why (I have anecdotal evidence but will withhold it). Chris is not the same as an innocent child. He is a dumb adult. A very, very dumb adult that makes child-like, bad decisions.

tl;dr version: a child is ignorant by nature. Chris is willfully ignorant. This is the difference. 

Seeing people try to say these are even remotely the same made me sperg out.


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## NiggoFiggo (Jan 19, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> A child is innocent, unaware of the ways of the world because they aren't yet responsible for their own person. As one grows up one learns (or is _supposed_ to learn) these responsibilities.
> 
> Chris may not know what every adult should but he had the chance and ultimately learned nothing. That is his own fault. Autistics are capable of learning these basic responsibilities even if they can't always comprehend the why (I have anecdotal evidence but will withhold it). Chris is not the same as an innocent child. He is a dumb adult. A very, very dumb adult that makes child-like, bad decisions.
> 
> ...



Instead sperging out how about returning the priceless painting YOU THIEVEING BASTARDS


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## Attention_Whore (Jan 19, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> A child is innocent, unaware of the ways of the world because they aren't yet responsible for their own person. As one grows up one learns (or is _supposed_ to learn) these responsibilities.
> 
> Chris may not know what every adult should but he had the chance and ultimately learned nothing. That is his own fault. Autistics are capable of learning these basic responsibilities even if they can't always comprehend the why (I have anecdotal evidence but will withhold it). Chris is not the same as an innocent child. He is a dumb adult. A very, very dumb adult that makes child-like, bad decisions.
> 
> ...



I think this is very accurate. If a child gets a slap on the wrist every time they steal a cookie from the cookie jar, they'll learn this is not the behaviour expected of them. But every time Chris gets banned from somewhere for the same kind of behaviour, he acts all surprised, like why does B *always* happen when I do A?


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

NiggoFiggo said:
			
		

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I truly believe OPL will combine liar and fireman. Except he'll mangle it into "lierman". 



Spoiler



Or worse yet he'll just say "firetheives"


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## Kyoosand (Jan 19, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> Marvin said:
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Well, all Asskisser Anna has to do is open up her home (and legs) to Chris and everything would be A-OK.

If only Chris would start to pressure her into doing that for him. I wanna see how long it'll take before she cracks.


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## Marvin (Jan 19, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> A child is innocent, unaware of the ways of the world because they aren't yet responsible for their own person. As one grows up one learns (or is _supposed_ to learn) these responsibilities.
> 
> Chris may not know what every adult should but he had the chance and ultimately learned nothing. That is his own fault. Autistics are capable of learning these basic responsibilities even if they can't always comprehend the why (I have anecdotal evidence but will withhold it). Chris is not the same as an innocent child. He is a dumb adult. A very, very dumb adult that makes child-like, bad decisions.
> 
> ...


Huh, how would that work? I mean, I've always had to have a reason to do anything. Even if it's just a practical reason for me. Like, for example, I went to high school because truancy is a crime. Well, and because I managed to replace a lot of classes with a long, bullshit class (that was more fun), plus a diploma is useful. But if you wanted me to do something, but couldn't justify it, then I probably wouldn't do it. And I don't criticize Chris for having that sort of attitude.

I don't think I'd describe Chris as willfully ignorant. You can't just present Chris with an opportunity and criticize him when he doesn't take it (unless it's some sort of extremely simple opportunity). Chris' mind isn't strong enough to understand on his own why he should be doing these things.

Now, it's up to Chris' parents and whoever has authority over him to shove it down his throat regardless. Chris can't be persuaded with reason, you have to force the responsible things on him. Chris is like a dog and only will do tricks he's been trained to do. He definitely _could've_ been trained to hold a job and live on his own. But that's Barb and Bob's fault.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 19, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
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Bottom line is, we all do things, even ones we dislike because we realise the consequences that occur when we don't fulfill our obligations. i.e, I really don't like my job nowadays, but I continue to attend and put forward the correct attitude because I require money to live. I _could_ decide to pack it in, but the consequences will be too severe. There's also the less tangible reward of knowing that your doing the correct thing, as well as contributing, but that's another discussion.

Christian "at least I tried" Chandler has been brought up to believe that he's exempt from the obligations and consequences that bind us mere mortals, his continued outrage at.... well everything really, is the reaction to his frustration that the real world _doesn't_ behave the way he thinks it should. To him, the rest of the world, isn't fulfilling _it's_ obligations, by doing everything necessary to sustain his eternal childhood.

The one thing that Chris cannot be blamed for is his awful upbringing that's been multiplied by his autism (or is that vice-versa? interesting question) But then ever since Mary Lee Walsh dropped the banhammer on his ridiculous attitude and gave him the choice of either behaving like a normal person, or getting the fuck out of the PVVC, he's had his safety net cut from under him.

That's where the grey area really starts, Is his upbringing too ingrained at this point and he can't really be held accountable, or is he sufficiently in command of his faculties to have taken this as a wake up call and started to learn how to grow up? That's the issue that probably polarises the majority of Christorians, and leads to most of the discussion. We all seem to believe something a little different. But that's cool, we're not Chris, we can accept others points of view   

Probably the one thing we can all agree on, is that Barb's the most toxic influence on Chris, and if anything's holding him back, it's her.


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## timtommy (Jan 19, 2014)

Attention_Whore said:
			
		

> I think this is very accurate. If a child gets a slap on the wrist every time they steal a cookie from the cookie jar, they'll learn this is not the behaviour expected of them. But every time Chris gets banned from somewhere for the same kind of behaviour, he acts all surprised, like why does B *always* happen when I do A?



To be fair, he does a lot of ridiculous shit that doesn't get him banned. The ban is a rare consequence for a common behaviour.


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## Spatchmo (Jan 19, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

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I would say the ban isn't exactly a rare consequence, considering he has been banned from pretty much everywhere.


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## Mayor McCheese (Jan 19, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> The one thing that Chris cannot be blamed for is his awful upbringing that's been multiplied by his autism (or is that vice-versa? interesting question) But then ever since Mary Lee Walsh dropped the banhammer on his ridiculous attitude and gave him the choice of either behaving like a normal person, or getting the fuck out of the PVVC, he's had his safety net cut from under him.
> 
> That's where the grey area really starts, Is his upbringing too ingrained at this point and he can't really be held accountable, or is he sufficiently in command of his faculties to have taken this as a wake up call and started to learn how to grow up? That's the issue that probably polarises the majority of Christorians, and leads to most of the discussion. We all seem to believe something a little different. But that's cool, we're not Chris, we can accept others points of view
> 
> Probably the one thing we can all agree on, is that Barb's the most toxic influence on Chris, and if anything's holding him back, it's her.



Yeah imo this event was a big catalyst if you look at it see before mommy had basically manipulated him to think everyone was out to get him and harm him and everything she said was right and reinforced this with the gifts and spoiling him and basically running away to another county if they were wrong instead of facing up to the consequences and he got away with doing what he wanted in school because people didn't care and only had to deal with him for a few hours.

So it's established in his life that Barb was the only 'right' person and authority figure and if he does what she says he gets what he wants and rewarded and if things go bad she'll save him or they'll escape the consequences somehow and correct me if i'm wrong but wasn't she the whole brains behind the idea of the signs in the first place? 

So Chris literally thinks at this point his mom is never wrong until reality comes crashing down his ears that day and it's established by Mary Lee Walsh that he can't just ignore rules of college because his mommy says so.  This is where the first major crack in his life and worldview appears.

Someone says no and overrules mommy and he is dealt consequences i.e. getting banned in college that mother can't save him from and the reality he has believed all his life up until that point becomes fractured.

Then the trolls etc. etc. 

Then after Bob dies something interesting happens, they go and tag team Snyder suddenly in what seems to be an attempt to re-establish that past reality he used to live in that Mommy is the best and always right and she can fix everything except it goes bad and I think it's obvious now even to Chris that he can't go back to how it was and he must suspect a tiny bit that he was fed a crock of shit by his own mother but seeing they are both all they have got at this point they stick together out of necessity.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
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Chris is willfully ignorant because he doesn't even do the bare minimum to understand how "the adult world" is supposed to work i.e. he doesn't even try _at all_. A child doesn't need to understand some things, but is subsequently taught as needed or find out for themselves (aka The Hard Way™). This isn't the same as Chris choosing to be lazy and live the life he has now.

Let's use Chris and the credit card debacle as an example. First off, let's recognize that Chris acquired his own card. I don't think we know _how_ he got it but it's probably safe to assume it wasn't explained to him how it worked. WILLFULLY IGNORANT SITUATION #1: Chris doesn't bother to learn the consequences of abusive spending beforehand. One might assume, at first glance, that Chris is like a child in that he didn't understand that he'd run out of money AND then have to pay it back but he could've asked Borb, read the T&C (too long for OPL), or the "Cliff Notes" from Google (but that's _still_ too long for  ) A kid can't even get a card in the first place, but I'll draw that analogy in a moment.

Chris wanted to buy stuff and, Chris being Chris, bought everything. Then his cards are maxed out. Chris now figured out "Oh, this isn't an infinite well of money." Chris doesn't just end up dealing with his own debt, as we know. He steals Borb's cards to continue buying. WILLFULLY IGNORANT SITUATION #2: Even a child learns early that it's wrong to steal. Ego de Ricardo decides that stealing is worth it to get shit he wants _after exhausting his own line of credit first._ WILLFULLY IGNORANT SITUATION #3: He is aware that credit cards have limits and recklessly barrels onward into debt. The one thing any responsible adult should about credit cards is they can get you into debt. It's basically common knowledge. Chris is aware of the consequences now but I wouldn't put it past him to abuse his card again.

Children _don't know_ consequences. Chris _ignores_ consequences. Chris knows that other people are supposed to be punished for doing "bad things" but chooses to fly in the face of societal rules and threaten death upon people, deface private property, and run people over. We can blame Borb and Chris's upbringing for this, sure, but Chris isn't the same as a child is the only point I'm trying to make.

I should probably add Chris shouldn't really be expected to know that he'd start the fire the way he did. Plenty of people accidentally start electrical fires by plugging things, or too many things, into the wrong places. We have the benefit of having members that know something about electricity and wiring who were kind enough to disseminate the information; however, we cannot turn around and call Chris a dumb-dumb because this isn't something people "just know." I can say that I only have that wary feeling of "maybe I shouldn't plug this in here."


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 19, 2014)

With Chris and the credit cards, they way I always read it was he took an "it'll be alright in the end" attitude, where he convinced himself that by the time it came to pay it all back, things would have sorted themselves out. (Sonichu would have taken off, his $75k a year sweetheart would have appeared by then etc)

One of Chris' biggest issues is that he's continuously deluding himself with these hypothetical situations, where he's already decided the outcome and it's just a simple case of following the steps until it's fulfilled. The Megan saga is probably the best example of this, he just wouldn't accept that it was never going to happen, to Chris "no" means "not right now, you haven't met the requirements yet"


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## SmugTomato (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> That seems like Sophie's Choice: The Retarded Version. Would you rather go for a drink with:
> 
> An autistic man-baby who shits himself constantly, talks about nothing but boring shit and is likely to make a scene and get you thrown out of the bar/restuarant
> Or a douchey, perpetual teenager, who makes nothing but immature, tasteless jokes and  is equally likely to make a scene and get you thrown out of the bar/restaurant.



Well I know which one would smell better.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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Oh yeah, it's like saying "I'd rather have herpes than Gonorrhoea" but I reckon I could sit for an hour or two with Chris without punching him _really fucking hard_ in the face, I don't think I'd last 5 minutes with Jon.

There's also the simple fact that Chris is (unintentional) funny, the other prick isn't.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> With Chris and the credit cards, they way I always read it was he took an "it'll be alright in the end" attitude, where he convinced himself that by the time it came to pay it all back, things would have sorted themselves out. (Sonichu would have taken off, his $75k a year sweetheart would have appeared by then etc)
> 
> One of Chris' biggest issues is that he's continuously deluding himself with these hypothetical situations, where he's already decided the outcome and it's just a simple case of following the steps until it's fulfilled. The Megan saga is probably the best example of this, he just wouldn't accept that it was never going to happen, to Chris "no" means "not right now, you haven't met the requirements yet"


I agree, but I doubt he really believed it. It's one of those temporary delusions people have to justify bad choices or things not going their way. Then, it becomes a bad habit and works it's way into every aspect of their life. E.g. Chris trying to blame Keurig and the thieving liarmen but no word of . He's in too deep to get out of this and it might be one of his worst flaws. "It's okay because X" and "It'll work out because Y" has allowed Chris to go down the path he's on.


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## Batman (Jan 19, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

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> 
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See, this is getting into a complicated area. While not knowing that a credit card isn't an infinite source of money is a classic example of Chris not doing his due diligence, everything that you mentioned that followed is perhaps a lack of pattern recognition. This is where it gets into dangerous territory, technically we could blame his autism for his hilarious lack of good judgment, technically he is incapable of drawing connections the same way that you or I would. 

See, even if Chris knew that maxing out a credit card would lead to having to repay that credit card debt, given the way Chris' mind works, he wouldn't draw the connection between that and what's happening to him with his own credit card. This is how he's been fooled by trolls so many times. Look at the Miyamoto saga. His inability to draw connections is what allowed him to get trolled for so long.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> See, this is getting into a complicated area. While not knowing that a credit card isn't an infinite source of money is a classic example of Chris not doing his due diligence, everything that you mentioned that followed is perhaps a lack of pattern recognition. This is where it gets into dangerous territory, technically we could blame his autism for his hilarious lack of good judgment, technically he is incapable of drawing connections the same way that you or I would.
> 
> See, even if Chris knew that maxing out a credit card would lead to having to repay that credit card debt, given the way Chris' mind works, he wouldn't draw the connection between that and what's happening to him with his own credit card. This is how he's been fooled by trolls so many times. Look at the Miyamoto saga. His inability to draw connections is what allowed him to get trolled for so long.


Let's say he just doesn't know that overspending on a credit card = debt. He _should_ know that stealing is wrong, or at the very least Borb would go bananas on him, which they did. Chris does have the 'tism to blame for a lot of his trolling, your case in point, but this seems hard to brush off with that explanation.


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## Burning Love (Jan 19, 2014)

Mayor McCheese said:
			
		

> and correct me if i'm wrong but wasn't she the whole brains behind the idea of the signs in the first place?


I don't know if she was the one who had the idea for it, but the implication is no, because she did point out that the sign made him look like a tard and he should probably stop using it.


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## Marvin (Jan 19, 2014)

LocalFireDept said:
			
		

> Batman said:
> 
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There's a big hierarchy of immoral acts, from the most minor ones to the most serious, fucked up ones. I'm completely fine with doing lots of small things that might still be considered immoral. Hell, I might not even consider them wrong. They could be debatable when you get down to some of the more minor ones. That's more of what Chris is thinking. He's the center of his (well, and in his mind, everyone elses) universe, and if he borrows a few dollars from his parents without them knowing, who cares? (as he thinks, anyway)


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## Burning Love (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> LocalFireDept said:
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Uh? He _is_ a criminal and a multiple offender at that. Aside from the credit card fraud and identity theft, he's been outright arrested a number of times for committing crimes. Calling them "bad acts" is whitewashing it, Chris is a criminal. He's been through the system, he knows what the inside of a jail cell looks like... fucking hell guy, I'm a drug addict most well known for being right in the middle of some of the sketchiest situations you can imagine, and I haven't seen the inside of a jail cell yet. I haven't even been detained/searched by a cop. Chris has been arrested a number of times. 

Not only does he have no sense of what makes a criminal (and that he is one), but he really doesn't give a shit. If you asked him the definition of a criminal, it probably wouldn't be "someone who has been to jail/arrested" or "someone who has been to jail/arrested multiple times" (like him), it would be druggies, murderers, thieves (going with the train of logic you posted where he doesn't see himself as one), etc. 

Someday he's gonna learn and he's gonna learn hard. He's going to end up with a prison sentence because someone is not going to be as lenient as Snyder, or he's going to end up homeless (lol relevant lol) and have no idea what to do to survive and end up with a prison sentence.

His (homeless) brain:

I am really hungry.
Being hungry is bad.
I am _really_ hungry.
Well, what if I take some of that food on that stand?
They won't care, I am homeless after all...

Boom. Arrest #13.


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## CatParty (Jan 19, 2014)

Autism=no soul and a bad person


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Autism=no soul and a bad person


CatParty=no soul and one sentence.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> [*] Stealing is something bad people do.
> [*] I am not a bad person.
> [*] Therefore, I am not a thief.[/list]
> 
> I read on the wikipedia that High Functioning Autism can be linked to criminal behaviour. Given Chris' many bad acts, it's not hard to believe.



That seems to fit well with "I should be judged not by my deeds but by my character!"


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

I dunno if the rationalization is necessarily due to his autism. I had a significant self-destructive streak and I used that "well that's ok for *reason*" rationale all the time. I knew deep down what I was doing was wrong, I just needed to stay the guilt. 

Then again I've read the Chris and Guilt article, so maybe it really is the 'tism.


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## Burning Love (Jan 19, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I dunno. Some/most judges are very lenient in that kind of situation. If you were poor and starving and you stole a loaf of bread, a judge is hardly going to give you life with no parole. Most likely a slap on the wrist. I don't know how it would play out with Chris' criminal record, but usually that's what would happen.


Are you even from America? Homeless people actually are given life with or without parole for petty offenses to an increasing degree. Especially when they have an extensive record like Chris.


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## teheviltwin (Jan 19, 2014)

Horde Prime said:
			
		

> Since becoming interested in and following Chris this is something I've found truly fascinating.  That is his plan for the future.  Find someone who will just take care of him.  And he thinks that it's possible.  Like there is some woman out there who would be ok with doing everything, making all the money, doing all the cooking and chores, and washing his dirty crapped briefs.  As far as I can tell he thinks finding a woman like this is completely realistic.  Who wouldn't want a man like him?



His role models are this guy:







And this guy:


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## Stuff and Things (Jan 19, 2014)

teheviltwin said:
			
		

> Horde Prime said:
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And this guy:


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## teheviltwin (Jan 19, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> And this guy:
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler



True that. Although Cartman doesn't provide him with a reference for an obnoxious, unhealthy, lazy man with a much hotter wife who loves him unconditionally and is willing to have his offspring.


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## HandBanana (Jan 19, 2014)

So what happened to that donation drive for Chris? Is that dead and gone already?


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## Coldgrip (Jan 19, 2014)

FemboiBunny said:
			
		

> teheviltwin said:
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Strange that even though Homer is shown as a moron, he's still a good person underneath it all and will do the right thing because he cares. Why the hell didn't Chris pick up on that trait ?


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 19, 2014)

Coldgrip said:
			
		

> Strange that even though Homer is shown as a moron, he's still a good person underneath it all and will do the right thing because he cares. Why the hell didn't Chris pick up on that trait ?


He probably missed those episodes. Or the point of them, at the very least.


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## Shadow (Jan 19, 2014)

All of this talk about women and Chris's ideal life of becoming a househusband who just plays video games all day and fucks his wife to make Crystal while she does all of the working, cooking, cleaning and everything else causes me to daydream.

I wish there was a woman brave enough out there to only approach and date Chris just to show him that this sort of life is impossible and nothing like he imagines it would be. Even if it happened, a woman working to support two people would not only be making less than a man, but would be working so much that she'd never be home to cook and clean and slobber all over his   And Chris wants a child? How would a woman working to support him manage to raise a child as well? Chris has no idea what it means to raise a baby. He can't leave out newspaper for it like Clover and Snoopy and would he ever change a diaper? With his own   ??

Thinking too hard about how Chris honestly sees things actually hurts me.


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## LordCustos3 (Jan 19, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> raymond said:
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Y'know, I think the Manchild label actually doesn't apply to Chris.
Typically, a Manchild is a college-age or older man who is still in touch with his inner 14-year old. Thus they are in equal measures a charming sprite and an irritating, immature douche.
Someone on this forum called him a *Manbaby*. I'm sad that label never stuck. It is sooooooo much more apt.
For Chris isn't a college age kid in touch with his inner 14-year old. He's a whinging grade-schooler barely in touch with his inner *4*-year old. Except he talks like a *2-year old*, and shits himself like a toddler.

He's not a beer-keg swilling JERK, he's a lego-fiddling, pre-pubescent, beardless whelp still suckling at mommy's teats.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 19, 2014)

LordCustos3 said:
			
		

> CatParty said:
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I honestly thought *manbaby* was his official designation, at least that's how I've often referred to him.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 19, 2014)

Shadow said:
			
		

> I wish there was a woman brave enough out there to only approach and date Chris just to show him that this sort of life is impossible and nothing like he imagines it would be.


I would love to see him date a woman who eventually decided to break up with him. Maybe because of him being a selfish ass, maybe because she didn't like him anymore, maybe because she had other stuff going on in her life, whatever.

Just imagine the lengths he would go to to destroy her life. Just imagine how much of a monster he would be to someone who dared to come close to presenting his dream and then denying it.


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## Andrew Noel Schaefer (Jan 19, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Shadow said:
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Wallflower


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 19, 2014)

^No, I mean a girl who was legitimately dating him, but then decided to break up with him for her own reasons.

Imagine the fallout when Chris decides she wasn't allowed to.


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## FatNero (Jan 19, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> ^No, I mean a girl who was legitimately dating him, but then decided to break up with him for her own reasons.
> 
> Imagine the fallout when Chris decides she wasn't allowed to.



I cannot imagine this ever occurring. I mean the circumstances just to get to this point would be mind blowing. 

But you're right, as soon as she tried to do her own thing, he'd spaz, probably the spazziest spaz ever. We've all probably been dumped before and there's always at least a minor freakout before you realize you're an adult and you can deal with this shit like an adult. But that's a filter he doesn't have so-- It would apocalyptic.


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## lisaface (Jan 19, 2014)

FatNero said:
			
		

> We've all probably been dumped before and there's always at least a minor freakout before you realize you're an adult and you can deal with this shit like an adult. But that's a filter he doesn't have so-- It would apocalyptic.


He thought that finding out that his high school gal pals let him eat lunch with them out of pity was the worst heartbreak any human has ever experienced.  He's used up all of the hyperbole in his vocabulary to describe how terrible that was.  Something that offered up real heartbreak, like being dumped, would be literally off the charts for him.


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## 4Macie (Jan 19, 2014)

FatNero said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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Remember how any time a "girlfriend" brought up the topic of their kids' names? As soon as someone said they didn't like the name Crystal Weston Chandler he'd have a mini-breakdown because IT WAS PROMISED TO HIM that he would have a pretty little girl named Crystal and he wants her to be named Crystal Weston Chandler because "it's close to Christian Weston Chandler". So, if he had a mini-mental breakdown because his woman didn't want to name their daughter after a stripper, or the 'mental', can you imagine what he'd do if she said he HAD to get a job because she was 8 months pregnant, couldn't work, and was then going to take maternity leave? Or better yet, if she said that he had to stop playing his vidya games to feed and bathe the baby?  Now, if this woman were to dump Chris, I do not think he would change at all. He's already lost several girlfriends (or he thinks he has) and it has not changed him even one little bit. He'd probably think she was a troll or something the moment she asked him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with (ie: change a dirty diaper or wash some soiled clothes).

Now, we all know he's never getting a wife or a child unless he really lowered his standards. And by really lowered, I mean like cut his standards by at least 75%. Chris is by no means a catch for any girl; but if any girl were to like him, she would undoubtedly need to be mentally handicapped (like Chris or much much worse), she will probably have to be below average looking, and she will probably have a tugboat like Chris. Long story short, she will be no better than Chris, because anyone that's better than Chris will not settle for Chris. He has no qualities that make him worth settling for. (Of course, we all know this and the question in question is a total hypothetical.)


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## NiggoFiggo (Jan 19, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> ^No, I mean a girl who was legitimately dating him, but then decided to break up with him for her own reasons.
> 
> Imagine the fallout when Chris decides she wasn't allowed to.


Christ i can only imagine, i mean we normal people break up its rough all ready but with chris it will be cranked up to 11


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> ^No, I mean a girl who was legitimately dating him, but then decided to break up with him for her own reasons.
> 
> Imagine the fallout when Chris decides she wasn't allowed to.



Just what Chris needs, someone else to have a blood vendetta against.  The break up speech would be surreal.


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## SteelPlatedHeart (Jan 20, 2014)

SteelPlattedHeart said:
			
		

> Well....on the plus side, Chris hasn't done the monumentally stupid thing of blaming the firefighters for not getting there fast enough to save his house from burning. *Hopefully* even he knows that be the dumbest move ever.


*WHELP*....so much for that!


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 20, 2014)

SteelPlatedHeart said:
			
		

> SteelPlattedHeart said:
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It's *Christian's Law*: From any point in time, as time approaches infinity the probability Chris does something monumentally stupid approaches 1. And as soon someone mentions that he hasn't done something monumentally stupid, the probability _becomes _1.


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## FatNero (Jan 20, 2014)

SteelPlatedHeart said:
			
		

> SteelPlattedHeart said:
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Well _technically_  they got their fast enough, they're just dang dirty firethieves, living it up on the millions of dollars they got for a replica Dali. 






TRUE and HONEST picture of the firefighters.


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## RP 520 (Jan 20, 2014)

SteelPlatedHeart said:
			
		

> SteelPlattedHeart said:
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You should know by now that when it comes to Chris, you have to think of the most dumbest decision a human could make in a given situation, then multiply it by 20.


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## Attention_Whore (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> ^No, I mean a girl who was legitimately dating him, but then decided to break up with him for her own reasons.
> 
> Imagine the fallout when Chris decides she wasn't allowed to.



Considering it's Chris, the fallout would probably be a lot of   and    followed by the realization that she must have been a troll.
There's no way he would actually be able to do anything about his girl breaking up with him.


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 20, 2014)

EleSigma said:
			
		

> SteelPlatedHeart said:
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Very true. I expected him to do something that would cause many people to lose what sympathy they had for his current situation, but he still managed to surprise me with how low he went.


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## teheviltwin (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Shadow said:
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Surely that would re-enforce his idea that he doesn't need to change to get a girlfriend. I'd prefer it if he had a female friend who was blunt with him in person. That she wouldn't date him because he isn't clean, fit, witty enough. One who wouldn't stand for his attempts to touch her and would yell in his face or slap him.


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## pickleparty (Jan 20, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> FatNero said:
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If chris REALLY wanted a  wife all he would have to do is go here http://www.rosebrides.com/thai-brides.html


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## Da Pickle Monsta (Jan 20, 2014)

SteelPlattedHeart said:
			
		

> Well....on the plus side, Chris hasn't done the monumentally stupid thing of blaming the firefighters for not getting there fast enough to save his house from burning. *Hopefully* even he knows that be the dumbest move ever.



In the absence of having anybody else to blame, Chris isn't above pinning the blame on God.  See the Damn Smoker and Church Missive antecedents.


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## Spork (Jan 20, 2014)

teheviltwin said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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So basically Jackie, but in-person? He'd probably just post her picture on Facebook while whining about how he was dumped.


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 20, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Hey, at least he provided you with a screen name.


You mean, I'm indebted to Chris?!


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## Burning Love (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

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I wouldn't like to see this because it means for one brief moment in time Christian Weston Chandler was more successful than me and I might as well kill myself.


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## FatNero (Jan 20, 2014)

I wish Bob was alive for this. His rant would be amazing.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 20, 2014)

FatNero said:
			
		

> I wish Bob was alive for this. His rant would be amazing.


I think there would only be one thing he'd have to say.


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## teheviltwin (Jan 20, 2014)

Spork said:
			
		

> teheviltwin said:
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Nope. Jackie always maintained that she was attracted to Chris. By chasing him she re-enforced the idea that he can get girlfriends. In Chris's 'tismic mind he has been chased repeatedly by women. 

It would be more like a Megan or Wallflower. But when he overstepped his boundaries, instead of "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested in relationships" (gawd dang asessuals), tell him flat out "I do not find you attractive for these reasons." And if he got handsy, instead of hiding or trying to avoid the situation, saying "No!", screaming or a sharp slap to the face. Basically the equivalent of shaking a can of pennies.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 20, 2014)

FatNero said:
			
		

> I wish Bob was alive for this. His rant would be amazing.



I'm pretty confident that if Bob were alive, he would have taken one look at Chris' DIY wiring solution and cut it down on the spot.
THAT'S MY HOUSE!


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## Takayuki Yagami (Jan 20, 2014)

Considering the size of the last thread when this one was started, is it about time for part 3?


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## timtommy (Jan 20, 2014)

teheviltwin said:
			
		

> It would be more like a Megan or Wallflower. But when he overstepped his boundaries, instead of "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested in relationships" (gawd dang asessuals), tell him flat out "I do not find you attractive for these reasons." And if he got handsy, instead of hiding or trying to avoid the situation, saying "No!", screaming or a sharp slap to the face. Basically the equivalent of shaking a can of pennies.



I don't know if he would understand the difference. He might just conclude that wasn't the girl for him and move on/not change. To be fair, that is what a lot of us do. When a girl is not interested in me, I don't generally try to change myself to make her interested, I just move on and try to find one that is. I think the rest of you do as well. 



			
				4Macie said:
			
		

> Now, we all know he's never getting a wife or a child unless he really lowered his standards. And by really lowered, I mean like cut his standards by at least 75%. Chris is by no means a catch for any girl; but if any girl were to like him, she would undoubtedly need to be mentally handicapped (like Chris or much much worse), she will probably have to be below average looking, and she will probably have a tugboat like Chris. Long story short, she will be no better than Chris, because anyone that's better than Chris will not settle for Chris. He has no qualities that make him worth settling for. (Of course, we all know this and the question in question is a total hypothetical.)



That is where mainstreaming fucked him over. He seemed to learn the lesson through his parents obsession with mainstreaming that associating with other disabled people was bad news bears. Horrible lesson to learn. Chris could probably be much happier with a person who suffered the same disabilities as him. She would be more likely to be interested in the same childish things as him, and could actually have a conversation that interested them both. She would be more likely to be tolerant of the things about him that would drive most girls away. For fuck's sake, he has such difficulty recognizing people he had to study himself in the mirror. Why his he so picky about what they look like?

If he had spent a lot of time associating with others like him, he would have found out that they are much better peers for him. He would be much more likely to find a sweetheart, or to realize that he is not cut out for a sweetheart, and enjoy interacting with his peers on a level they were all comfortable with. Instead he tries to square-peg-round-hole himself into "mainstream society", makes so many people uncomfortable and himself miserable.


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## FatNero (Jan 20, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> FatNero said:
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Bob, electric hedgehog lumberjack?


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 20, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> That is where mainstreaming fucked him over.....


See, I don't think the mainstreaming specifically fucked him over, more that for some reason, Borb insisted he be mainstreamed, whilst simultaneously insisting that he receive special treatment, or more specifically that people look the other way when he behaves inappropriately.

Personally, I'm of the opinion that if Chris had better parents, the question of him being sent to a special school would never even have come up.


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## 4Macie (Jan 20, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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This is what I've always felt. Mainstreaming Chris fucked him over so hard (that and bad parents). Not only did his parents show him that being around those with mental disabilities was bad and scary, putting him on the short bus drastically enforced that belief. Not that he shouldn't have been on the short bus, but if someone (ie: Borb) had explained that there were people who are far worse off than Chris and that he should show compassion, it'd have been so much better. 

That reminds me, did Chris ever have one of those people that help you in school if you're in special classes? I know he was in one or two, but I can't help but feel he was jipped. My highschool had a special class for people with mental disabilities where they learned to do stuff like cleaning up after themselves, how to cook small meals, and how to deal with others (and even how to deal with bills if they were well enough along for that). Chris obviously never had these classes, or if he did, he never uses the information.


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## Silver (Jan 20, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> That reminds me, did Chris ever have one of those people that help you in school if you're in special classes? I know he was in one or two, but I can't help but feel he was jipped. My highschool had a special class for people with mental disabilities where they learned to do stuff like cleaning up after themselves, how to cook small meals, and how to deal with others (and even how to deal with bills if they were well enough along for that). Chris obviously never had these classes, or if he did, he never uses the information.



I believe in A Week With Christian Chandler he mentioned having Coping class and Home Ec... though he said he read all through Coping class.


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## 4Macie (Jan 20, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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Didn't he also brag about being able to sleep through class?


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## Picklechu (Jan 20, 2014)

GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> Batman said:
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He'll expect his China/millions of dollars/PS4 by tomorrow, thanks.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 20, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> Mainstreaming Chris fucked him over so hard (that and bad parents). Not only did his parents show him that being around those with mental disabilities was bad and scary, putting him on the short bus drastically enforced that belief. Not that he shouldn't have been on the short bus, but if someone (ie: Borb) had explained that there were people who are far worse off than Chris and that he should show compassion, it'd have been so much better.



Chris has had many inner walls of denial crumble during the last year. The High School Gal-Pal revelation was the biggest mindf*ck to date for him.

I think the final barrier Chris has left in his psyche is the denial of his own madness. Once that wall crumbles and he's forced to face a tsunami of decades worth of past lunacy, who know what he'll do.


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 20, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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Stress sigh and poop himself?


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 20, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> When a girl is not interested in me, I don't generally try to change myself to make her interested, I just move on and try to find one that is. I think the rest of you do as well.


Chris doesn't try to change himself into something that would make the girl interested, but he still expects her to change into someone that is interested in what he is. He never makes the connection that when he doesn't get what he wants, it isn't always because some villainous person set out to hurt his feelings. He always has to have an enemy.


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## Marvin (Jan 20, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> For fuck's sake, he has such difficulty recognizing people he had to study himself in the mirror. Why his he so picky about what they look like?


He _isn't_. Remember, there's a big difference between what Chris says and what Chris does. A _big_(  ) example is the [cwc]hambeast[/cwc].


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## teheviltwin (Jan 20, 2014)

timtommy said:
			
		

> teheviltwin said:
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He's like a dumb dog. There is no point telling him off hours after he did something via email. I don't think a single female has ever done that with Chris. It isn't the fault of the women, some people are really scared of confrontation. I think that imediate consequences for bad behaviour would have some effect...

Although it might make him hate women or just


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## Attention_Whore (Jan 20, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> timtommy said:
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Exactly.If a girl was actually willing to put up with him and cater to all his needs, he wouldn't care less about what she looked like.


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## Horde Prime (Jan 20, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> FatNero said:
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Hmm.  Kind of reminds me of when Alfred died as he was destroying Wayne Manor at your direction.



Spoiler


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 20, 2014)

Altissimo said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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I get the feeling that Chris was a _very_ difficult student. He wasn't far enough gone to be forced into special classes completely, but just "normal" enough for people to agree with mainstreaming. We have it on record from a Toys R Us employee from the forums here that he would throw tantrums when he did not get what he wanted; these could be heard across the entire store. The photo we have of Chris during this period of his life was taken in 2000, the year of his graduation. It's not a far cry to suggest that his behavior also carried over into school and caused his teachers to adopt an "I just don't give a fuck" attitude toward Chris because they aren't paid enough to care and already have enough problems to deal with, so if Chris is shutting himself up with Goosebumps or sleeping I'm pretty sure the teachers just gave him a bye to act as such.

When I was in high school I took art for four years. The art classrooms were pigeonholed into an external building that also housed the special education rooms. There were some Christian-esque people there whom you could hold a conversation with. One of them that I remember fondly, Gary, was well enough off that he was allowed to spend some time in the art room. He'd occasionally be in there during my period and he was an amazing artist, he drew lots of anime stuff. Gary was given that privilege because he had made really good strides in school; I went to school with him for 12 years and I remember in elementary years this guy was a total wreck, special ed classes mellowed him out and while he was still quirky, he was able to fit in with people. That could have been Chris.


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## bradsternum (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> I get the feeling that Chris was a _very_ difficult student. He wasn't far enough gone to be forced into special classes completely, but just "normal" enough for people to agree with mainstreaming. We have it on record from a Toys R Us employee from the forums here that he would throw tantrums when he did not get what he wanted; these could be heard across the entire store..



Saucey-sauce?


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 20, 2014)

bradsternum said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
> 
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Source begins here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3338&start=15#p160335

I forgot about this user and the story behind the picture in question until BALLZ BROKEN brought it up. PureEval66 gave us a lot of information about Chris' habits and time at Toys R' Us. One of the many things this forum has produced that I wish someone had the foresight to back up.


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## Fuzzy Wuzzy (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> I get the feeling that Chris was a _very_ difficult student. He wasn't far enough gone to be forced into special classes completely, but just "normal" enough for people to agree with mainstreaming. We have it on record from a Toys R Us employee from the forums here that he would throw tantrums when he did not get what he wanted; these could be heard across the entire store..



And how old was he when he did this? Because you think that even people with some mental disabilities would stop throwing tantrums once they hit about 20. Well, this is Chris we were talking about and his development is really stunted by Borb's coddling to say the least.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 20, 2014)

Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
			
		

> Because you think that even people with some mental disabilities would stop throwing tantrums once they hit about 20.


Even a neurotypical of average intelligence would never stop throwing tantrums well into adulthood if every single day his parents reinforced his belief that it was okay for him to do so.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 20, 2014)

Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
			
		

> JeffGoldblumIRL said:
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According to PureEval, the person who gave the testimony, Chris' time at Toys R' Us was toward the end of his high school years. It may have stretched further back a bit, but she was keen on pointing out the large age discrepancy between Chris and the other kids.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 20, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> timtommy said:
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Yeah, it's worth pointing out that Megan didn't fit all the Sweetheart requirements and she was still his destined ground-up sweetheart at that time. Chris will attach himself to any female that shows him any sort of friendly intentions.


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## Tubular Monkey (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Even a neurotypical of average intelligence would never stop throwing tantrums well into adulthood if every single day his parents reinforced his belief that it was okay for him to do so.



You would think, though, that eventually they'd say, "Jesus, this is getting me nowhere!"  Chris is just lather, rinse and repeat, without the lathering or rinsing.


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## Null (Jan 20, 2014)

He doesn't know there are other ways to handle yourself, and neither does his mother. She's probably the type to harass a Burger King employee or to yell at a cashier at Walmart. There just isn't the know-how to deal with stressful situations without being cruel to other people.


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## Kosher Dill (Jan 20, 2014)

Tubular Monkey said:
			
		

> Chris is just lather, rinse and repeat, without the lathering or rinsing.


Well, he does lather and rinse himself with animals.


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## CalmMyTits (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Fuzzy Wuzzy said:
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As evinced by the Greene County Conspiracy.


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## Kyoosand (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> I get the feeling that Chris was a _very_ difficult student. He wasn't far enough gone to be forced into special classes completely, but just "normal" enough for people to agree with mainstreaming. We have it on record from a Toys R Us employee from the forums here that he would throw tantrums when he did not get what he wanted; these could be heard across the entire store. The photo we have of Chris during this period of his life was taken in 2000, the year of his graduation. It's not a far cry to suggest that his behavior also carried over into school and caused his teachers to adopt an "I just don't give a fuck" attitude toward Chris because they aren't paid enough to care and already have enough problems to deal with, so if Chris is shutting himself up with Goosebumps or sleeping I'm pretty sure the teachers just gave him a bye to act as such.



Chris & Bob may have absconded to a neighboring county out of reach of the GCSB, but the Chandlers were well known for miles as a lawsuit cruisin' to happen. Certainly the officials at the new school were aware of the lawsuit. They didn't want to have any of that crap the GCSB of 1992 went through, so they just decided that so long as the yowling brat didn't commit anything illegal like to try rape a student, they'd just give him a passing grade on whatever and shit him out the Graduation end of the process as fast as possible so he'll be out of their lives.

And of course even after all that coddling, Chris didn't just want his diploma, he also wanted a huge f'ing trophy or medal to go with it as well because HE IS CHRIS, and he threw a pouty-ass sulk throughout the ceremony to try to bring everyone else down when he didn't get his Banana Sticker.

Mary Lee Walsh however, didn't get the memo or just plain didn't care, because the moment Chris started acting up, she cracked on him just like she would have on any other student doing the same crap. It was probably the first time anyone ever dared to push back against Chris demands, and it gobsmacked him big time when even the usual "Send Mommy and Daddy over and make her obey me" tactic didn't work on her.


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## mst3kluv (Jan 20, 2014)

The thing is, high-school seems to give ANY person an excuse to graduate because if they don't, they'll lose funding and EDUCATION IS EXPENSIVE. Community colleges have much more freedom when it comes to kicking students out. Even when the student have da' AUTISM.


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## drmccoy (Jan 20, 2014)

After reading about how Special Ed teachers work with semi-mainstreamed students, I have zero doubt that Chris would have been given just enough leeway to not cause issues for his teachers. 

And to think, it's no wonder that his "gal-pals" were contracted by Bob. Who would want to hang around a guy who throws tantrums and behaves unpredictably? Those girls, even paid, must have put up with alot. Goddamn, I really would like some High School stories.


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## Tiresome (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Altissimo said:
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Culminating in him crying in public at his own graduation because he wasn't honored in the way he felt he deserved.


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## BALLZ-BROKEN (Jan 20, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

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Despite all of his rage, he's still just a rat in a cage.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> I get the feeling that Chris was a _very_ difficult student...(snip)... his behavior also carried over into school and caused his teachers to adopt an "I just don't give a fuck"


Although this is most likely true with some, I'd be willing to bet that they really did give a fuck but unfortunately had their hands tied by the lingering phantom of the threat of another baseless Chandler lawsuit. Sadly, improving Chris' lot was just too much trouble. It really does look like they just let him quietly slip through school with the minimum of fuss.
I also believe that after too many years, and too much bullshit at PVCC, they did the same thing by signing the correct paperwork, handed him his degree, and politely telling him to fuck off.



			
				JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> When I was in high school I took art for four years. The art classrooms were pigeonholed into an external building that also housed the special education rooms. There were some Christian-esque people there whom you could hold a conversation with. One of them that I remember fondly, Gary, was well enough off that he was allowed to spend some time in the art room. He'd occasionally be in there during my period and he was an amazing artist, he drew lots of anime stuff. Gary was given that privilege because he had made really good strides in school; I went to school with him for 12 years and I remember in elementary years this guy was a total wreck, special ed classes mellowed him out and while he was still quirky, he was able to fit in with people. That could have been Chris.


See, this strikes a chord with me. I've never mentioned before, but one of the reasons Chris interests me is that I went to school with somebody who shares an remarkably similar amount of autistic traits as Chris. The strangely florid vocabulary and bizarre speaking patterns, the "strange gait" and physical ineptitude, and being completely unaware of how weird and far from social norms his personal interactions were, it's all there. He attended all the same classes as the normal students, but had the benefit of additional support when needed. He was a nice enough guy, but could sometimes come across as rather "haughty"
The biggest difference is his lack of Chris' unpleasant and abrasive personality and sense of entitlement.

To me, he represents the difference between how somebody in that position turns out with the correct support and upbringing.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 20, 2014)

BALLZ-BROKEN said:
			
		

> Despite all of his rage, he's still just a rat in a cage virgin cultural virgin with rage.


Fix'd.



			
				drmccoy said:
			
		

> And to think, it's no wonder that his "gal-pals" were contracted by Bob. Who would want to hang around a guy who throws tantrums and behaves unpredictably?


Honestly, if I were his fellow classmate, I'd be pretty resentful of the fact that the school would expect me to work hard or fail, while the self-absorbed asshole gets to just pass everything and get the same diploma as me just because his parents were trigger-happy douchebags.


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## 4Macie (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> BALLZ-BROKEN said:
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I'd like to see his grades homework. He claims he got all honor roll grades but did he really... I wouldn't be surprised if his "homework" was specially tailored to him because... Well we've seen his spelling and grammar and there's no way he passed highschool with those skills (let alone with high honors). He STILL spells senior as seinor every time; his sentences barely make sense, and he has no common logics. He seriously believes if he swallows his own sperm it goes back into his testicles for crying out loud. 

As you said, I'd be pissed if I worked so hard just to pass (or god for is fail) and Chris acts like Chris does and got honors in highschool for doing elementary work.


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## LocalFireDept (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> drmccoy said:
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Welcome to every American High School these days.


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## Kosher Dill (Jan 20, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Honestly, if I were his fellow classmate...


If you were his fellow classmate you wouldn't even have known who he was unless Bob was paying you to talk to him. Sounds like a deal to me!


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 20, 2014)

Kosher Dill said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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So this business about "hired help". Who threw that stone, was it Chris? If it was Chris, "hired help" might just be him using some term he heard on TV referring to someone's goons or henchmen, especially if it ties into the greater Greene County Conspiracy. I find it a very difficult concept to wrap my mind around that the gal-pals were literally "hired help".

Were the gal-pals actually paid money to hang out with Chris? How would that have possibly even worked out? That is completely unethical, I cannot see a school principal telling some old man "yes you can pay my students actual American currency to hang out with your child". A more reasonable approach that I can see is perhaps the "negotiation" that we know of led to an offer of class credit(s) to the gal-pals. Putting up with Chris every other day would give them an extra elective on their graduation plan in lieu of perhaps a third year of foreign language (a rough example).

The only way we'd get a clear answer on that would be for one of the aforementioned women to provide an answer, otherwise it's pure conjecture as the man responsible for this act is now deceased (and wouldn't have answered anyways).


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## Marvin (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Kosher Dill said:
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There's no reason to think that the girls were paid to hang out with Chris.

However, there were actual arrangements that artificially told them to hang out with Chris.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Jan 20, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> There's no reason to think that the girls were paid to hang out with Chris.
> 
> However, there were actual arrangements that artificially told them to hang out with Chris.



Brother, was it they were willing to do it for their own self satisfaction of helping the weird manchild in their class?


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## maninthepicklesuit (Jan 20, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> Were the gal-pals actually paid money to hang out with Chris? How would that have possibly even worked out?...(snip)...A more reasonable approach that I can see is perhaps the "negotiation" that we know of led to an offer of class credit(s) to the gal-pals.
> 
> The only way we'd get a clear answer on that would be for one of the aforementioned women to provide an answer, otherwise it's pure conjecture as the man responsible for this act is now deceased (and wouldn't have answered anyways).



As with most of the phrases formed within the poo-stained autistic kaleidoscope of Christian's mind, "hired help" is an inexact term that only makes complete sense to Christian.  Like an inside joke where the teller and the audience are the same person, anybody who's not Christian Weston Chandler will have to blindly grope at the edges of the term to determine where its possible metes and bounds lie.  

I agree that the basis couldn't be monetary exchange, so could the payment have been in the form of class credit?  While it's more plausible than monetary compensation, I have to wonder about the ethics of giving class credit for hanging out with an autistic kid.  From a certain perspective, wouldn't that be tantamount to the principal letting the Gal Pal Squad cut corners on their own education?   While it might expose you to Christian's unique take on the English language or imperial measurements, having lunch with the autistic kid a couple days a week is by no stretch a rough equivalent to a term of French or Math. 

My best guess is that to understand "hired help," you'd have to think like Christian: you'd have imagine yourself as a completely self-absorbed slug with zero understanding of human motives outside of immediate pain/pleasure.  

Probably, the principal and the faculty identified the Gal Pal Squad as a group of girls that would be particularly tolerant and patient with an autistic man-child, as well as easily motivated to socialize with Christian out of empathy and/or a desire to please authority.  Christian, completely unable to understand either of these motives himself, can only assign the basest motives to the Gal Pal Squad once he finds out that they had extrinsic motives.  Hence, they had to be "hired help" because in Christian's reckoning, they had be motivated by a very explicit quid pro quo.


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## Marvin (Jan 20, 2014)

Hulk Hogan said:
			
		

> Marvin said:
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Beats me.



			
				maninthepicklesuit said:
			
		

> I agree that the basis couldn't be monetary exchange, so could the payment have been in the form of class credit?  While it's more plausible than monetary compensation, I have to wonder about the ethics of giving class credit for hanging out with an autistic kid.  From a certain perspective, wouldn't that be tantamount to the principal letting the Gal Pal Squad cut corners on their own education?   While it might expose you to Christian's unique take on the English language or imperial measurements, having lunch with the autistic kid a couple days a week is by no stretch a rough equivalent to a term of French or Math.


Well really, it was just sitting with fatty at lunch. I doubt compensation was a big topic when they agreed to do this. It was probably requested that someone find friends for fatty and arranging some girls to sit at the same table as him during lunch was close enough. They probably continued their normal conversations about ordinary high school girl crap and fatty just quietly soaked up the galpal culture.


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## snakesvsplanes (Jan 20, 2014)

Marvin said:
			
		

> There's no reason to think that the girls were paid to hang out with Chris.
> 
> However, there were actual arrangements that artificially told them to hang out with Chris.



You say this with a fair amount of certainty. Is there an actual source proving this, or are you just speculating based on what you know about Chris and the Chandlers?


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## mst3kluv (Jan 21, 2014)

Maybe the school incentive for the gal-pals is kind of like "Peer Tutoring" where another student helps a student who struggles in Math or the like. It's more of an extra-credit kind of thing and it's nice to put on your resume. 
In the case the of the gal-pals, they had to babysit Chris during lunch hour instead of tutoring him.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 21, 2014)

mst3kluv said:
			
		

> Maybe the school incentive for the gal-pals is kind of like "Peer Tutoring" where another student helps a student who struggles in Math or the like. It's more of an extra-credit kind of thing and it's nice to put on your resume.
> In the case the of the gal-pals, they had to babysit Chris during lunch hour instead of tutoring him.



This is what I was getting at. At the high school I attended there was an elective "class" specifically designated as one where some volunteer students helped out around the district. Some of them stayed at the high school and tutored some students, others went to the elementary school to help out the younger kids. I figured perhaps Manchester High shoehorned the gal-pals "into" an elective class such as this, perhaps as a college resume point or something to that extent. (Giving them credit for taking a class but not really taking it formally, similar to how some universities accept "Applied Skills" in lieu of one or more classes toward a degree plan.)


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## Kyoosand (Jan 21, 2014)

In this case, Chris literally is the old joke about "You so ugly that yo mamma had to tie a pork chop around your neck so the dog'd play with you."


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## Batman (Jan 21, 2014)

Hey! Here's a theory. Maybe the gal-pals didn't hang out with Chris for any kind of reward. Maybe they just did it because the school/Bob asked them to. Maybe they're just good people who've had to put up with a lot of shit because Chris is so inherently unlikeable.


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 21, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Hey! Here's a theory. Maybe the gal-pals didn't hang out with Chris for any kind of reward. Maybe they just did it because the school/Bob asked them to. Maybe they're just good people who've had to put up with a lot of shit because Chris is so inherently unlikeable.



I only raised the question because of Chris' specific usage of "hired help" and the comment that his father may have potentially "negotiated" the company Chris maintained in high school. I wouldn't doubt that someone would have lunch with a slower classmate simply to be nice, I chummed around with a nerdy kid in a wheelchair when he and I had the same lunch period in 4th grade. The gal-pals may have very well just been kindred spirits as well, but when "negotiate" is a term potentially related to their involvement/tolerance of Chris it gets me wondering just what the heck was going on.

Also, "hired" or not they clearly bit off more than they can chew seeing as how Chris is still a large enough problem in their lives that one of them said in a recently linked email "we've been trying to keep away from him" (paraphrased).


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## 4Macie (Jan 21, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Hey! Here's a theory. Maybe the gal-pals didn't hang out with Chris for any kind of reward. Maybe they just did it because the school/Bob asked them to. Maybe they're just good people who've had to put up with a lot of shit because Chris is so inherently unlikeable.


I don't think there's many people that believe there was some reward in it for them... we all pretty much agree (except a few) that they were just asked to be friends with him because the school was told he was more friendly towards girls and this group of girls was the unlucky winner. 





			
				snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Marvin said:
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You been here long? Chris has made several facebook posts as well as emails to privileged few that they gal-pals were only his galpals out of pity because someone asked them to. And then he's mentioned in an email as well as that lego highschool video that his father was mitigating with the principal and that "that's a way to make friends".


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## Horde Prime (Jan 21, 2014)

Well there may have also been the added dangling carrot enticement of one day becoming the warped objects of obsession in the autistic manbaby's heartsweet search.  The promise of someday being stalked by a middle aged simpleton with rage issues who shits his pants and drinks his own semen.  It's hard to see any healthy american teenage girl turning down such an offer.


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 21, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

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Well, I recently acquired a valuable replica painting, so the millions of dollars and the PS4 shouldn't be a problem. China? Maybe I can pull a few strings (after all, the replica painting is worth a LOT).

Wait, you meant _China_ as in Chrispeak for _vagina_? Oh, well he's out of luck; no painting is worth that much!


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 21, 2014)

GREEDY FIREMAN said:
			
		

> Well, I recently aquired a valuable replica painting, so the millions of dollars and the PS4 shouldn't be a problem. China? Maybe I can pull a few strings (after all, the replica painting is worth a LOT).
> 
> Wait, you meant _China_ as in Chrispeak for _vagina_? Oh, well he's out of luck; no painting is worth that much!



Paint me like one of your French girls.


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## Picklechu (Jan 21, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> GREEDY FIREMAN said:
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Just be careful not to post it on the internet. Someone might shop a   onto it.


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## DrChristianTroy (Jan 21, 2014)

Ja'mie said:
			
		

> GREEDY FIREMAN said:
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[youtube]MF6evwncVk8[/youtube]
I'll never let go Ja'mie. I'll never let go.


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## He Sets Me On Fire (Jan 21, 2014)

4Macie said:
			
		

> I'd like to see his grades homework. He claims he got all honor roll grades but did he really... I wouldn't be surprised if his "homework" was specially tailored to him because... Well we've seen his spelling and grammar and there's no way he passed highschool with those skills (let alone with high honors). He STILL spells senior as seinor every time; his sentences barely make sense, and he has no common logics. He seriously believes if he swallows his own sperm it goes back into his testicles for crying out loud.
> 
> As you said, I'd be pissed if I worked so hard just to pass (or god for is fail) and Chris acts like Chris does and got honors in highschool for doing elementary work.



Have you seen this?

http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/How_Pokemo ... _Pokeballs

I tell ya whut - Chris may have gotten a good grade on this paper, but they still failed him hard.


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## libertyoftheaether (Jan 21, 2014)

I'm so disappointed that Chris and Barb have learned absolutely nothing from this whole event. They're still the awful people with entitlement issues they were before this happened. No decent person would turn around to the people who saved their house and accuse them of being thieves. The only reason I keep track of Chris' activity is I have a tiny spark of hope that he will turn his life around and become someone decent. If having their house burn down isn't a big enough event to cause any kind of change, then I think nothing ever will. All I see in Chris is the gradual twilight of a wasted life.


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## CatParty (Jan 21, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> mst3kluv said:
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helping retards looks good on a college resume. either a guidance counselor or assistant principal probably pulled them aside after borb bitched to the school that their special snowflake had no friends.


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## SmugTomato (Jan 21, 2014)

He Sets Me On Fire said:
			
		

> 4Macie said:
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Fucking hell, I wrote some bad short stories as a kid but I never thought I'd have to make a fucking creation myth for a TV show.


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## Silver (Jan 21, 2014)

re: the gal-pals just having to hang out with Chris at lunch: A Week with Christian Chandler again suggests he had Home Ec class with a few of them. Whenever their schedules coincided, you can be sure Chris would cling to them.


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 21, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

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Guys, I hate to break it to you - but I think you're making the same mistake as Chris here, to wit: taking the involvement of the gal-pals way, way out of proportion.







This is the complete extent of Chris' involvememnt with his closest friend: they have one class together (Comntemporary Living, twice a week) which involves mandatory group activities such as cooking. After this class he sits at the same table during lunch break and as you can see in this pic




at least one of those two weekly lunches is also an in-class activity.

I would also like to point out that on both lunch pics, Sarah and Tiffany are almost done eating while Chris hasn't even started yet, suggesting that he simply waddled over to their table to "join" them.

Then there's Chris' 18th birthday where he invited these two girls and all the girls they actually were friends with. They all decided to come so Chris wouldn't have to be alone on his birthday. 

And that's it. Period. End of story. And don't forget, that's the enirtey of his contact with his _closest_ "friend". 


I know that Chris claims over and over that he had "a circle of gal-pals". This comes from the same guy who's too dumb to understand Family Guy after watching the entirety of that show at least three times over.

He didn't have any friends, pity friends or otherwise. Nobody cared about him. This is just Chris misinterpreting everyday occurencers and putting way too much emphasis on insignificant events.

The gal-pals never cared about him. They didn't even "associate with him", out of pity or any other motive. They simply tolerated him because they didn't have the nerve to actually get up and change tables as soon as Chris plonked his ass down next to them twice a week.


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## Silver (Jan 21, 2014)

When I was still in high school, there was a kid who was obviously a little mentally challenged on my bus. I have no recollection of how this happened, but one day he decided it was necessary to sit next to me and start babbling on about his life. I had infinite patience because of my experiences with the mentally challenged, but I didn't reciprocate - he'd talk, and I'd just sort of nod and "Mmm" at the appropriate places. This went on until about the end of the school year and then I never saw him again.

Wouldn't be surprised if the gal-pal stuff was kinda like that, except with more "can you please be nice to him?"


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 21, 2014)

^ This. 
But then, nobody had to tell you to be nice. And you weren't. You were just patient. You didn't get out of your way to be nice or make friends. 
That slow-in-the-mind would still consider you his best friend from high school if he was as lonely and isolated as Chris.


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## CatParty (Jan 21, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> Then there's Chris' 18th birthday where he invited these two girls and all the girls they actually were friends with. They all decided to come so Chris wouldn't have to be alone on his birthday.




i wouldn't even go that far. i think it was more along the lines of "we all have to go". especially when you look at the pics where they are all huddled together just waiting to get out of there. all i'm saying is on that day, Good Burger must've felt like the longest movie ever


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 21, 2014)

Yeah, that's what I meant. They had to make sure beforehand that none of them would end up going there alone. There is no way the all each on their own decided "I'm going because I pity Chris".


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## Doge (Jan 21, 2014)

I feel since we're talking about Chris as a youth, this insight from OPL's middle school years is applicable:



			
				Virginia Sanford said:
			
		

> Well, it's been 3 years now at Providence and it's all over! Where has the time gone to? The most important parting words I can leave you with - well, are to always remember this. You show people where your weak points are located, then they will know how to push your button. If you never show them, they will never know. I hope you will have an enjoyable summer and come back to visit. Do you very best at Manchester, put your best foot forward, and treat others as you wish to be treated.



From that, I'm gleaning he had a few tantrums and acted pretty much like he does now. Even in the 'Song of Christian' video, he's already showing a bitter side to him. Just now, that bitterness has been nursed a couple of decades into something much more grotesque.


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## CharlesBarkley (Jan 21, 2014)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Bernd Lauert said:
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Everyday, good burger feels like the longest movie ever.


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## Christ-Chan (Jan 21, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I like how this has become a general discussion.
> 
> I guess there's not much left about the fire to talk about.


It's been 3000 posts in these two threads alone and at least a dozen of new posters have registered and posted dozens of posts each, it's a wonder the Internet hasn't run out of space to even support letters anymore.


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## CatParty (Jan 21, 2014)

Christ-ian said:
			
		

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we'll have double the threads when he burns the next place down.


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## Marvin (Jan 21, 2014)

snakesvsplanes said:
			
		

> Marvin said:
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Uhh, well, I do have a source confirming this. The source is kinda iffy at times though, so, I'm maybe 90% confident? Something like that, anyway.



			
				libertyoftheaether said:
			
		

> I'm so disappointed that Chris and Barb have learned absolutely nothing from this whole event. They're still the awful people with entitlement issues they were before this happened. No decent person would turn around to the people who saved their house and accuse them of being thieves. The only reason I keep track of Chris' activity is I have a tiny spark of hope that he will turn his life around and become someone decent. If having their house burn down isn't a big enough event to cause any kind of change, then I think nothing ever will. All I see in Chris is the gradual twilight of a wasted life.


The thing is, is that a fire burning down their house is an extremely wrong way to try to send a message to Chris. Chris' mind is fixed in his "I'm the center of the universe" thinking. It's like he's a computer. If you want to introduce new ideas to Chris, they have to be forced into him.


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## lisaface (Jan 21, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> I would also like to point out that on both lunch pics, Sarah and Tiffany are almost done eating while Chris hasn't even started yet, suggesting that he simply waddled over to their table to "join" them.


Nice catch.  It could also be that Chris was yammering on about Pokemon or some other stupidity while the gal-pals were eating, with them giving the occasional fake bit of interest to not be rude.  I wonder if they sat there and kept listening after they were done eating, or if they left at that point and he ate most of his lunch alone.


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## Enjoy your spaghetti (Jan 21, 2014)

Picklechu said:
			
		

> Ja'mie said:
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And then it's face raping Incredible Lioness time.  

Back on topic, how's the fire and stuff?


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## Bernd Lauert (Jan 21, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> I wonder if they sat there and kept listening after they were done eating, or if they left at that point and he ate most of his lunch alone.



Exactly what I was thinking. I figured them eating lunch as fast as possible and hightailing it somewhere else as soon as politely possible, while Chris just sat around enraptured in the certainty of being the admired centre of a "circle of gal-pals".

EDIT:
Back on tpic, I wonder why still nobody has procured a fire report.
AFAIK, those are supposed to be public documents. Are the fine firefighters of Ruckersville sitting on their hands or something?


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## Smutley (Jan 21, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> EDIT:
> Back on tpic, I wonder why still nobody has procured a fire report.
> AFAIK, those are supposed to be public documents. Are the fine firefighters of Ruckersville sitting on their MANOS or something?



I'm not saying that anyone is currently working on this, but someone might be working on this.  And I know it's not my place to say it but for anyone reading that's not a member, don't bug businesses and firemen about Chris!


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## DJAndyMD (Jan 21, 2014)

Kyoosand said:
			
		

> Well, all Asskisser Anna has to do is open up her home (and legs) to Chris and everything would be A-OK.
> 
> If only Chris would start to pressure her into doing that for him. I wanna see how long it'll take before she cracks.



You know, I always wondered that. Anna can kiss his ass all the time but how far can he push it until she snaps.


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## Horde Prime (Jan 21, 2014)

I tell you something about the pics of Tiffany Gowen make me think that girl could kick some ass.


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## Shadow Fox (Jan 21, 2014)

Bernd Lauert said:
			
		

> Back on tpic, I wonder why still nobody has procured a fire report.
> AFAIK, those are supposed to be public documents. Are the fine firefighters of Ruckersville sitting on their MANOS or something?



They're too busy making arrangements with Sotheby's so they can unload that priceless Dali knock-off they stole.


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## Smutley (Jan 21, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Bernd Lauert said:
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I've already reached out to some contacts I have around that area.  I'll let you guys know if I'm able to track anything down.


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## Very Honest Content (Jan 21, 2014)

lisaface said:
			
		

> Bernd Lauert said:
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I would claim it's the content of the meal (notice the centered self serving dish in between the three plates) being served that explains why the gal-pal's are almost done and Chris' plate is completely empty, remember, greens make him feel green in the face, according to the same week in the life project.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 21, 2014)

^They would probably just sit and do homework or something, and drone out the 'tismal toddler's yammering.


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## Daario Naharis (Jan 21, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> I like how this has become a general discussion.
> 
> I guess there's not much left about the fire to talk about.



Not until some new mischief occurs.

I think that's representative of his life as a whole.

Crazy stuff happens -> People talk about that crazy stuff -> Crazy actions in response to crazy stuff -> People talk about that -> Rinse repeat until crazy stuff stops happening. Conversation becomes general commentary on Chris until some new crazy stuff happens.


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## CatParty (Jan 21, 2014)

maybe it's a perfect time to lock this thread and open a new one when new developments arise.


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## Anchuent Christory (Jan 21, 2014)

Doge said:
			
		

> I feel since we're talking about Chris as a youth, this insight from OPL's middle school years is applicable:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I was wondering when this was going to come up, I love this letter because from that single paragraph you can tell that this woman understands Chris perfectly. He clearly remembered this woman fondly, and rightfully so, I particularly like how it's written in mature manner and she's not treating him like a child. It's good sensible advice.

_You show people where your weak points are located, then they will know how to push your button._
He still goes absolutely batshit insane if somebody calls him gay

_ treat others as you wish to be treated._
We all know how this turned out.

He's just never felt the need to adjust or rectify any of his behaviour, ever. I genuinely hope this poor woman is completely unaware of the monster he evolved into, she'd be really upset.


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## teheviltwin (Jan 21, 2014)

Has the thank you post already been added?

https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/588603771234106


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## JeffGoldblumIRL (Jan 21, 2014)

teheviltwin said:
			
		

> Has the thank you post already been added?
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/CwcvilleGuardian/posts/588603771234106



New to me.

So Waterworks actually sent the cyberbullying calendar? I'd love to see what it looks like, assuming Chris still has the means to post photos. No mention of the CWCki box, though. Not sure if that has arrived yet. (Also, the anonymous person who sent "the book" is not me. I suspended the original print order for the Sonichu comics. No idea what the book is since he didn't provide a title, but I'm curious to know.)


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## CatParty (Jan 21, 2014)

JeffGoldblumIRL said:
			
		

> teheviltwin said:
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viewtopic.php?f=8&t=3370


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## Giovanni (Jan 21, 2014)

Now if only he'd apologize to the firefighters that he and his mother endangered with their gross negligence and then accused of theft, we'd be set!


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## GREEDY FIREMAN (Jan 22, 2014)

Shadow Fox said:
			
		

> Bernd Lauert said:
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No comment.


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## Christory101 (Jan 22, 2014)

Any word from Chris ' Barb's relatives, like what they are doing to help their sister and nephew?

Surely they care far more about them than a bunch of goofballs and jokers from the internet do? ....Please...?


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## CatParty (Jan 22, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Any word from Chris ' Barb's relatives, like what they are doing to help their sister and nephew?
> 
> Surely they care far more about them than a bunch of goofballs and jokers from the internet do? ....Please...?




no one cares. we've been over this. next you'll ask if preacher rocky or cole will take them in.


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## 4Macie (Jan 22, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Any word from Chris ' Barb's relatives, like what they are doing to help their sister and nephew?
> 
> Surely they care far more about them than a bunch of goofballs and jokers from the internet do? ....Please...?


Why would they care? Barb isolated anyone that would normally care for her in her time of need. Coleslaw, her own son, hates her far too much to take her in. (though I could totally see a "tell me about my father and I'll give you some food-money" situation). Rocky doesn't care about them any more than she cares about ANY poor soul. She's not going to take them in, she might try to find them help, but she definitely won't do more than that. Who else is there? Bob's family? Most of them (as far as we know) are dead, anyone who's alive (his other kids/ex-wife/etc) would have no kind feelings towards Barb and Chris, so that's out the window. There is no one else.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 22, 2014)

Christory101 said:
			
		

> Any word from Chris ' Barb's relatives, like what they are doing to help their sister and nephew?
> 
> Surely they care far more about them than a bunch of goofballs and jokers from the internet do? ....Please...?


A while ago Coleslaw told people to stop messaging him about his "retarded half brother". So I highly doubt he gives a shit.


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## drmccoy (Jan 22, 2014)

R.A.E.L. said:
			
		

> Christory101 said:
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That was a 'shop, apparently. As far as anybody here knows he's never said a word about Chris at all. Probably the smart thing to do.


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## The Fair Lady (Jan 22, 2014)

^Ahhh, okay.


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## CatParty (Jan 22, 2014)

but seriously, he probably really does not want to hear about his retard half brother.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 22, 2014)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> BALLZ-BROKEN said:
> 
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This is probably going to sound incredibly    but if I was in high school with Chris and I saw him scooting by while myself (and the majority of other students, normal and special ed.) worked hard, part of me would get a kick out of it. I would get a kick out of him talking about going to college and what not and I would just nod my head thinking 'this guy has no fucking idea'. It might be a bit sadistic, but I don't think I'd be the only one who would get a tinge of delight knowing how unprepared he was allowed to remain (more than most, anyway) and how that would mean a heavy disadvantage come time for higher education/ the real world.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jan 22, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> This is probably going to sound incredibly    but if I was in high school with Chris and I saw him scooting by


At first I thought you meant this, which I could also see Chris doing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQK-l_VEMsQ



			
				Dr.Research said:
			
		

> I would get a kick out of him talking about going to college and what not and I would just nod my head thinking 'this guy has no fucking idea'. It might be a bit sadistic, but I don't think I'd be the only one who would get a tinge of delight knowing how unprepared he was allowed to remain (more than most, anyway) and how that would mean a heavy disadvantage come time for higher education/ the real world.


I can see some truth to that. The spoiled kid gets rewards now that you have to work for, but ten years later you actually have a life while he has...

...Barb. And a half-melted hoard.


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## CWCissey (Jan 22, 2014)

Why am I imagining a maid walking into the Chandler's bathroom and being like this?

[youtube]osAhJ_Kl_J0[/youtube]


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## Dr.Research (Jan 22, 2014)

Anchuent Christory said:
			
		

> Doge said:
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I don't even know if the teacher would remember Chris at this point. True, teachers might remember particularly good (or shit) students, but even with the nice letter and possible antics I really don't think Chris would have been a really memorable kid at that age. 
I mean, maybe if she saw his picture now or one of his more famous ones it might look familiar, but I don't think she could place the name.



			
				Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Dr.Research said:
> 
> 
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Probably something like...

"And now ladies and gentleman, our final Manchester High Talent Show entry, Mr. Chris Chandler!"

*Chris ass scoots across the stage"

"Thank y'all! Don't ferrget to vote CWC!"


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## Batman (Jan 22, 2014)

Dr.Research said:
			
		

> I don't even know if the teacher would remember Chris at this point. True, teachers might remember particularly good (or shit) students, but even with the nice letter and possible antics I really don't think Chris would have been a really memorable kid at that age.
> I mean, maybe if she saw his picture now or one of his more famous ones it might look familiar, but I don't think she could place the name.



He e-mailed her back in 2007, so it's possible she does remember him. She would be very disappointed in what he's turned into.


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## Dr.Research (Jan 22, 2014)

Batman said:
			
		

> Dr.Research said:
> 
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Hm. Well that is pretty interesting and in that case, yea. Sorry Mrs. Sanford


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## TaterBot (Jul 16, 2014)

Batman VS Tony Danza said:


> Someone stated that Barb retired around '96 which may have been when the horde started. Retired and with Bob and Chris often being gone seems like the ideal timing for her to start hoarding. She didn't have anyone to spend time with so she probably would watch TV and pick through Goodwill. By the time Bob and Chris moved back the horde was too big. Bob probably gave up after awhile.


Chris told Cole in a 2007 email that she had been retired a bit over a year, so she probably retired when she turned 65. 
He also said she was spending a lot of time sleeping after that. Barb apparently had no hobbies or compelling interests (except maybe a bit of sewing and television) to fill her days.
  Lots of hoarders began in earnest when their children left home, or they got a divorce, or experienced a loved one's death, or some other significant loss.

also, Chris attached to 14BLC? I'm not sure that's true.


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## Xarpho (Jul 16, 2014)

Why did you bump this?


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## Tubular Monkey (Jul 16, 2014)

There was a fire?


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