# Ladies, do you fit Chris' sweetheat standards?



## AtroposHeart (Mar 22, 2013)

I was looking at the list, and thinking even if a woman was really intersted in him, it was veery unlikely she would match up to his high standards



> 18 - [insert current age] Years Old
> Boyfriend-Free
> Blonde or Brunette
> White
> ...



I am poor, plus sized, and an aspie. 
And of course I don't live in his area

How do you match up?


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

I made this in the old old forums...
Nope, I wlll never have my own adult autistic child as a heartsweet.


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## QI 541 (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Hmm, I wonder how well Tomgirl Chris would meet those standards.

21-29 years old - No, 31
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - NO
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - Yes
Carefree/Lighthearted - Paranoid as hell
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - HELL NO
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Yes.  Way too much self-esteem.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 216+ pounds and rising
Brunette or Blond hair - Yes
B-Cup size minimum - Yes
Clean - DIRTY CRAPPED PANTIES
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - Goes out dressed in skimpy clothes, pretends to dig up a dead dog and wear its skin as a coat, and then slaps her ass while proclaiming that she would like to fuck herself.
Make-up - Yes
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - No

Tomgirl Chris actually meets half of her own requirements.


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				raymond said:
			
		

> 216+ pounds and rising


He looks a LOT heavier than that now. I'd say 260lbs and up.


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## cheersensei (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - Getting nearer to the cut off point - 25
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Nope.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - Casually, usually after heavy drinking.
Carefree/Lighthearted - Meh...I'm usually pretty laid back.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - As in how...what?
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - A bit shy, but open up when comfortable.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - NOPE. Landwhale here.
Brunette or Blond hair - Dirty blonde, but blonde none the less.
B-Cup size minimum - Currently a 44D.
Clean - I shower daily and put at least more than a minimal effort to keep my shower mildew free.
Casual - Define this.
Not Crazy or Abusive - I have a temper, but usually it's inner dialog.
Make-up - Rarely. I break out too easily.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Wouldn't consider myself an expert, but knowledgeable enough to know most things.


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## Dollars2010 (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - *21.*
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - *Haha, I don't think so.*
Education: High School Graduate or Better - *Yup.*
Not a SMOKER - *Nah, I don't smoke. I drink occasionally though.*
Carefree/Lighthearted - *I'm pretty carefree I guess.*
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - *Uh, sure?*
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - *I don't have great self-esteem and I'm horribly shy.*
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - *160-ish.*
Brunette or Blond hair - *Brunette.*
B-Cup size minimum -   
Clean - *I take showers regularly and enjoy cleaning.*
Casual - *Casual as in clothing or personality-wise?*
Not Crazy or Abusive - *Nah.*
Make-up - *Small amount.*
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - *Not an expert but yeah.*


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## KatsuKitty (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

>B-Cup size minimum


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## Ace_Reloaded (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - 24
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - None of the above
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - Never smoked
Carefree/Lighthearted - Usually
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Yes technically speaking
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - My self-esteem is all right, but I'm shy and definitely not outgoing, SO.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - I'm an underweight 90 lb stick
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette, currently dyed red. Not sure how Chris feels about redheads, although he seemed pretty into Jackie.
B-Cup size minimum - Hahahaha no. A-cup, if that.
Clean - I'm a packrat, but I shower regularly and never let my clutter grow into a hoard.
Casual - Fashion-wise, yeah, and I've got a laid back personality. I'm not sure what this question means though...because I've also got a strong sense of responsibility.
Not Crazy or Abusive - Again, pretty laid back.
Make-up - Only when cosplaying or going out to someplace super dressy
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Well, I'm ace, so no. xDDD And I only cuddle girls when I do feel romantic. Even if I got a perfect score on everything else, Chris would never want me. He hates dem got-dang lezzie asexuals.


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				KatsuKitty said:
			
		

> >B-Cup size minimum


Their breasts have to be bigger than his.


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## Seahorses (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

When it comes to : "Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT" or "Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds)" 

This is from my experience, but few, and I mean few girls nowadays have the confidence to see how pretty they are or can be. I find that a lot of girls have grown into this warped perception of themselves in which they are too ugly, or too fat, or too skinny. If you aren't at your ideal look, so what? 

I don't mean to be rude, or point fingers. This is just from my experience with women. 

And to keep this Chris related, if he was an actual man, not desperate, and had been with a real woman, he'd eliminate most of that superficial crap and add "confidence."


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## Tim Buckley (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - 21
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Cute (in a subjetive way)
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - Never smoked
Carefree/Lighthearted - Pretending counts?
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Maybe.. yeah
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Again, pretending counts?
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 128 lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - Less than cup A but sadly not completely plain
Clean - Yes
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - ??? I guess so
Make-up - No
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -Yes

Poor me, It seems I miss 1 of them (boobies!!!1), well I am a male dirty jerk troll anyway.


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## pickleniggo (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

What the fuck does he mean by "casual" anyway? Is that a valid personality trait?
Anyway, apart from smoking, I do meet Chris' standards. But I would never, ever be his heartsweet. Too bad for you, Chris!


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## CatParty (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				The Joker said:
			
		

> KatsuKitty said:
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## Fialovy (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

18 - [insert current age] Years Old* yes*
Boyfriend-Free -* NOPE*
Blonde or Brunette - *Yes*
White -* yes*
Pretty - *ummmm... I guess?*
Average or Slender Body Type -* would child-bearing hips be a turn-off for him?*
5' or Taller - *Yes*
No Smoking or Drinking *Yes*
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area - *Never even been there*
Has Own Car -* I share mine with my brother technically*
Average to High Income - *I'm a poor college student*
Happy, Positive, Caring - *Yes and Dun is my witness*

In other exchanges, Christian established a few more rules: 
No Children from Previous Relationships - *I'm 20 so I hope not! *
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise) - *Unfortunately, I have autism*

So yeah... I'm not boyfriend-free (for those noobs that don't know, Dunsparce is the lucky guy and we met here of all places) and have autism. I would be a terrible sweetheart for Chris. Now, Dun on the other hand...


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## Tim Buckley (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				pickleniggo said:
			
		

> What the fuck does he mean by "casual" anyway? Is that a valid personality trait?
> Anyway, apart from smoking, I do meet Chris' standards. But I would never, ever be his heartsweet. Too bad for you, Chris!



casual just means casual, like dressing and acting casual instead of "fancy", "glamorous", etc.


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## random_pickle (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

I still find it stupid how having Autism is a deal-breaker.  :x 

I fit most of the requirements except for a job, a car, and not being a slow-in-da-mind.


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## Fialovy (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

I think autism being a deal-breaker has to do with Crystal not turning out autistic, or at least decreasing the likelihood that she will be. 

It is stupid, I agree.


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Tim Buckley said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
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He wants a younger Barb. :?


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## Trombonista (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Let's see:

*21 to 29-years old*: 24. 
*Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: I consider myself to be kinda cute, so I guess I meet this one too.
*Education: High School Graduate and/or Better*: College graduate.
*NOT A Smoker*: Even if I didn't have asthma, I wouldn't smoke.
*Carefree/Light-Hearted*: Occasionally. Do I get half-credit?
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)*: Unfortunately, I've learned that intelligence and ditziness are not mutually exclusive.
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem*: Kinda shy. 
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)*: While I was 2 pounds overweight the last time I weighed myself, I'm much less than 170 lbs (and I might be losing weight).
*Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches*: 5'2''.
*Brunette or Blonde hair*: Brunette.
*B-Cup size minimum*: *G-Cup*  .
*Clean*: I shower more than you do, Chris.
*Casual*: Totally.
*Not Crazy or Abusive*: Not abusive, but I think I'm a bit odd. Then again, Chris outcrazies 95% of the forum members...
*Make-Up Optional*: Oh thank goodness.   
*Well-Informed to Expert in sex*: I'd like to consider myself more knowledgeable than Chris (aside from the fact that he's had sex and I haven't).

This is all kind of moot, though, since I live in a different time zone than Chris.


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## Tim Buckley (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				random_pickle said:
			
		

> I still find it stupid how having Autism is a deal-breaker.  :x
> 
> I fit most of the requirements except for a job, a car, and not being a slow-in-da-mind.



Maybe because usually its a factor that prevents people from having jobs, cars, getting laid, etc.
Chris can't accept his own failures, why would he accept the ones of others, deep inside Chris dislikes autism.



			
				The Joker said:
			
		

> Tim Buckley said:
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I always had the impression he wants to be Barb.


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## pickleniggo (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Tim Buckley said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
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Oh. So less _Gossip Girl_, more _COPS_. Got it.


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				trombonista said:
			
		

> Let's see:
> 
> *21 to 29-years old*: 24.
> *Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: I consider myself to be kinda cute, so I guess I meet this one too.
> ...


You don't need to do this, Chris already chose you to have Crystal.


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## regularjohn (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Except for living in the area, I match the description. 

Except Im a dude, he never put in there that he wasnt looking for an effeminate guy.


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## Seahorses (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				trombonista said:
			
		

> Let's see:
> 
> *21 to 29-years old*: 24.
> *Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: I consider myself to be kinda cute, so I guess I meet this one too.
> ...



I didn't know G-Cups were a thing.


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## The Joker (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				regularjohn said:
			
		

> Except for living in the area, I match the description.
> 
> Except Im a dude, he never put in there that he wasnt looking for an effeminate guy.


You're at least a b-cup?


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## Ren (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

/lurk

'Scuse me while I yoink this.

*21 to 29-years old*: 24-years old. 
*Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: I'm told that I'm cute, but not that cute. Sounds about right.
*Education*: High School Graduate and/or Better: Some College.
*NOT A Smoker*: Non-Smoker.
*Carefree/Light-Hearted*: Depends.
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)*: Depends on the subject. I know a lot of things, but I can act ditzy. :v
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem*: I can be talkative, outgoing, and open up. It takes time.
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)*: I'm a bit overweight for my height, but I'm pretty happy with it.
*Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches*: 5' 11". I'm probably 6' 1" in heels.
*Brunette or Blonde hair*: Brunette.
*B-Cup size minimum*: D-Cup.
*Clean*: Cleaner than you, Chris.
*Casual*: When I want to be, but I'm very unpredictable.
*Not Crazy or Abusive*: Not an abusive-type, but Chris can out-crazy me.
*Make-Up Optional*: I don't wear makeup anyway. The most I'd do is eyeshadow and lipgloss or light lipstick, but only for important social events.
*Well-Informed to Expert in sex*: Because Chris totally needs to be taught how to copulate. 

It appears I'm kind of not his type if I ever met him. Either way, I live North from him in New York. Good to know.

lurk


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## Tomboy (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - 22
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - People say I'm cute/pretty, I think I'm kinda average
Education: High School Graduate or Better - in college
Not a SMOKER - Attempting to quit
Carefree/Lighthearted - Eh?
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Yeah
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I'm aloof outside my circle of friends
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 115 lbs
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches- 5'6"
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - My boobs are tiny, and I look flat chested with the button down collared shirts I wear lol
Clean - Yes
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - What why the hell would he ask this
Make-up - No
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - No, I'm a got-dang asexual

So if Chris were interested in me, I'd take up smoking again just around him (and blow it in his face) and tell him I'm a got-dang asexual. That would hopefully do it. Maybe.


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## Grand Number of Pounds (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

I'm a JERK and not gay but let's see:

*21 to 29-years old*: 27 
*Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: Um, maybe? If I weren't so overweight I'd say yes.
*Education: High School Graduate and/or Better*: College graduate.
*NOT A Smoker*: I don't smoke.
*Carefree/Light-Hearted*: I can be uptight sometimes, but I can be silly, too.
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)*: I don't think I'm smart, just average, but a lot of people have complimented me on my intelligence.
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem*: Kinda shy. 
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)*: I'm really overweight due to DANG DIRTY MEDS
*Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches*: 5'11 - 6'0 - just a bit over
*Brunette or Blonde hair*: Brown hair
*B-Cup size minimum*: Um, no.
*Clean*: I'm more hygienic than Chris, but that isn't saying much
*Casual*: I usually wear khakis and a T-shirt
*Not Crazy or Abusive*: Compared to Chris, no.
*Make-Up Optional*: Except for Halloween when I was a kid, I've never worn makeup
*Well-Informed to Expert in sex*: I'm a virgin without rage, and pretty uninterested in sex, I might be a got-dang asexual

11 out of 16 ain't bad.


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## Niachu (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

I filled out something like this on the old forum, but I have a weakness for lists. I'll fill it out again.

*21 to 29-years old*: Too young   
*Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: I think I'm cute...
*Education: High School Graduate and/or Better:* Some college
*NOT A Smoker*: Smoking gives me the prickly-wicklies
*Carefree/Light-Hearted*: Melancholic
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)*: I couldn't pull off ditzy if my life depended on it
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem*: No on almost all fronts. I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be, but I'm a pretty severe introvert
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)*: Yeah. I'm a lot healthier than I used to be.
*Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches*: 5'5
*Brunette or Blonde hair*: Very dark brunette
*B-Cup size minimum*: Yeah, but it's not like it's especially fun
*Clean*: My room is the only place where I'm messy
*Casual*: Kind of high-strung
*Not Crazy or Abusive*: I do my best not to be
*Make-Up Optional*: Rarely. When I do, it's subtle eyeshadow at most.
*Well-Informed to Expert in sex*: Chris has made out with a blow up doll. That makes him about 10x the expert I am.

Other rules:
*No Children from Previous Relationships*: What previous relationships?  
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise*: Not autistic


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## sparklemilhouse (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - 29
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - hells no. 
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - if I lived by myself, I'd be all over some clove cigarettes
Carefree/Lighthearted - Anxiety problems
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - NO. I was almost kicked out of college fall sem of my junior year.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - No.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) -A 300 pound fatass
Brunette or Blond hair - artificially colored red hair
B-Cup size minimum - saggy c's
Clean - I should shower more than once a day
Casual - I don't wear pants out a. I have to wear a dress when i go out.
Not Crazy or Abusive - I have anxiety problems.
Make-up - Yes
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - LOL NO. I haven't had sex in five years.


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## TL 611 (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				trombonista said:
			
		

> *G-Cup*


Jesus Christ you could kill a man with tits like that   

My entry:
21 to 29-years old: 17
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: Beautiful/hot? nah, but I'm relatively baby faced so I get called cute occasionally.
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: Currently in college
NOT A Smoker: Not a lot, but still
Carefree/Light-Hearted: ish.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): I'd say I'm slightly above average mentally, and as long as my reading comprehension doesn't come into it, all good on that front!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: No self esteem, but it's impossible to get me to stfu to people, and I often get a bollocking from my friends for being too friendly with people I've never met, so either my friends are extremely anti-social, or I'm too social
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): 170 pounds. Thats 12 stone. _12 stone_. I wouldn't say I have a slim to average body type, but I'm not fucking 12 stone.
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: Not entirely sure of my height but I'm definitely between those parameters
Brunette or Blonde hair: Naturally? Brunette. At the moment? Ginger
B-Cup size minimum: C cup
Clean: Yup 
Casual: I'm taking this to mean personality wise, meaning "I don't give a shit" personality. If so then fuck yeah that's me
Not Crazy or Abusive: Not often outwardly abusive, but I think about it a lot and I can seriously have my moments if I know I can get away with it.
Make-Up Optional: Don't like any make-up, too much of a pain in the ass
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: I don't know whether I can honestly judge this. I've had more sex than Chris has and I've not had any complaints, but I'm not an expert in sex... maybe he just means "non-virgin" but he's too stupid to write that?


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## pickleniggo (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Melchett said:
			
		

> Well-Informed to Expert in sex: I don't know whether I can honestly judge this. I've had more sex than Chris has and I've not had any complaints, but I'm not an expert in sex... maybe he just means "non-virgin" but he's too stupid to write that?



No, he needs an expert because no one else would know what to do with that bent duck of his.


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## GFYS (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

*18 - [31] Years Old* - Y-yeah, sure.   I've I've been "25," for nearly a decade.   
*Boyfriend-Free* - Eh, more or less.
*Blonde or Brunette* - Usually.
*White* - Er...  

Welp, that's that.  Not that I expect Chris (or most North Americans) to have even a clue what ethnicity I am.  Mexican?  Korean?  Mongolian?  Spanish?  Italian?  Indian?  Israeli?  I'm actually a weird mutt.  Only when I'm in Northern Europe, Russia, South Korea, Brazil, or Japan can anyone figure it out.

Honestly, I don't even get past the first one.  Still, I'm way WAY out of his league - and I have very relaxed standards.  I prefer somewhat mundane looking working-class guys, as long as they don't get all butthurt about me making 5 ~ 10 times as much as they do.  Chris doesn't even hit _that_ standard.  Personally, I think Chris is barely even human.

I could definitely suppress a lot of Chris' bullshit, and get him to hold down a job...  I just don't think he'd stick with it.  He'd be hiding under his stuffed animal pile after I start getting all demandy-pants on his passive-aggressive ass.  Did you all hate Kasey's nagging?  _"Wait 'till they get a load of me!"_


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## regularjohn (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				The Joker said:
			
		

> regularjohn said:
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If we count my weirdly shaped ribcage, I am


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## Stratochu (Mar 22, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Yanachu forgot her password and will likely not post again for quite a while, if ever. So I will post this on her behalf:

18 - [insert current age] Years Old *Younger than CWC*
Boyfriend-Free *No*
Blonde or Brunette *Black hair*
White *No*
Pretty *I think she is, many other people don't*
Average or Slender Body Type *Size 22, so no*
5' or Taller *Yes*
No Smoking or Drinking *Drinks alcohol*
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area *No*
Has Own Car *Yes, but she doesn't want hobo stank and DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS smell in it*
Average to High Income *More than I make on SSDI*
Happy, Positive, Caring *Yes, but can be almost vicious while PMSing*

So my sweetbolt doesn't fit CWC's standards, which is good. If he ever came out of the closet, let's see how I'd stack up:

18 - [insert current age] Years Old *Almost the same age as CWC*
Girlfriend-Free *No*
Blonde or Brunette *I have naturally reddish-brown hair that I dyed magenta*
White *Yes*
Attractive: *No* 
Average or Slender Body Type *Yes, average*
5' or Taller *Yes*
No Smoking or Drinking *Tobacco, medical marijuana and copious amounts of alcohol*
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area *FUCK NO.*
Has Own Car *1972 Chevy G20 with no creature comforts other than a cab fan and AM/FM/8-track stereo, CWC would hate it*
Average to High Income *More than CWC, less than Yanachu*
Happy, Positive, Caring *Slightly emo, sarcastic, but caring*

I would turn CWC off big-time if I were gay/bi and he were to come out of the closet.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

There's been a whole lot of these type of threads. would Chris like you, would Chris date you, would Chris hate you cause you're gay/niggo, etc.

Why are these threads? Chris is terrible and his standards don't count for anything. Of course he wouldn't consider you to meet his standards, what does that matter?


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## Ren (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> There's been a whole lot of these type of threads. would Chris like you, would Chris date you, would Chris hate you cause you're gay/niggo, etc.
> 
> Why are these threads? Chris is terrible and his standards don't count for anything. Of course he wouldn't consider you to meet his standards, what does that matter?



Because they're fun to do.


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## Niachu (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Ren said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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Yep. It doesn't matter, but there are lists involved here and I like filling those out.


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## The Joker (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

This is more current for myself...

21-29 years old - *20*
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - *I can be told I'm pretty cute when I am not wearing just sweatpants and a sweater.*
Education: High School Graduate or Better - *in college*
Not a SMOKER -*sometimes*
Carefree/Lighthearted - *I need to focus more an be serious sometimes*
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart -* I scored really high on certain tests but I am too lazy*
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem -* none of that self esteem stuff, I do talk a lot though*.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - *fatty*
Brunette or Blond hair - *Wild reddish brown hair down to my shoulders*
B-Cup size minimum - *42 DD I am made up of mostly boobs*
Clean - *Total slob but a controlled mess*
Casual - *I would rather read my detective comics than party if thats what my sweet manchild means.*
Not Crazy or Abusive - *don't think so.*
Make-up - *when I feel like dressing up.*
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -* I have no interest whatsoever with men.* Find me a boyfriend free girl though....


----------



## CatParty (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Can we edit the typos in the post title? It's killing my OCD.


----------



## Mr. 0 (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

There's no goddamn way there's this many women on the forum. Maybe it's just inexperience (with more than one on a forum) on my part though.


----------



## pickleniggo (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Mr. 0 said:
			
		

> There's no goddamn way there's this many women on the forum. Maybe it's just inexperience (with more than one on a forum) on my part though.



Us ladies love dem Adult Autistic Children.


----------



## Saney (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Mr. 0 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


No woman can resist Chris. No one.


----------



## Golly (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - I fit his old standards, but not anymore. In 5 months I'll be 21! EDIT: MADE IT
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I think?
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Check
Not a SMOKER - Check
Carefree/Lighthearted - Depends on who I'm with. With Chris? Never.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I took (and passed) APs and have pretty much always been on Honor Roll. 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Nah, but getting better with it. 
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - I'm a little pudgy for my tastes, but I still come in at an average weight.
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - D-Cup  8-) 
Clean - Yep
Casual - I'm a casual girl living in a not-so-casual world, so I've had to adapt. He'd probably think I'm too pretentious.
Not Crazy or Abusive - I think I'm insane, but that's probably a good sign I'm not. If I were dating Chris, I don't see how I wouldn't be abusive, though (considering he sees any kind of criticism as abuse.)
Make-up - Only when I have to
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -   ... No.

Adding some old requirements:
Boyfriend-Free: No   
White: Yep. 
5' or Taller: 5'6" 
No Drinking Drinks: From this phrasing, you'd think Chris had no idea what dehydration was. But I do drink occasionally.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nope
Has Own Car: Nope
Average to High Income: Music student....
No Children from Previous Relationships: I am indeed a Child-Free Non-Mother. 
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): I live on the way upper end of the spectrum where it's just overly specific disorders/syndromes that mean "Golly might have the social awkwards, lack some self awareness, and doesn't really do spacial awareness as well as she could."

And to think...he could almost have been mine...   I SHALL NEVER TRULY FEET HIS SWEET HEAT.   


Spoiler



I...I guess I'll have to go to my boyfriend for comfort from this soul-crushing blow...


----------



## Golly (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

Unless we're all super elaborate damn Mocking TROLLS!


----------



## Seahorses (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				sweetbolt6969 said:
			
		

> Yeah, it's weird how many ladies there are! Most around mid-twenties as well. Go us girls!


If only Chris knew how many girls his strangeness is "attracting."


----------



## TL 611 (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

... I appear to be the youngest here by a considerable margin. Gutted D:


----------



## Organic Fapcup (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Melchett said:
			
		

> ... I appear to be the youngest here by a considerable margin. Gutted D:


Nope. I'm 16. Not fit to be his sweetheart because I'm a typical male brute, among other reasons, but still.


----------



## Night Terror (Mar 23, 2013)

I'm a bloke but people mistake me for a girl from the back all the time, so let's just go along with it.
21-29 years old - 18. Gosh darn diddly dang it.
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I'm a beautiful butterfly.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - at university.
Not a SMOKER - I don't smoke tobacky, if that's what he's worried about. Other stuff though...
Carefree/Lighthearted - Yeah, I'm pretty chill.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I'm a complete idiot, so no.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I have fairly good self esteem, if my fucking spots would go away.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - I'm horribly underweight, so I'm good.
Brunette or Blond hair - Sort of a dull gold colour, down to my mid-back.
B-Cup size minimum - I don't have boobs. Although he could cover the both of us.
Clean - I like to think I'm a clean person, but I'm really not.
Casual - I am not a filthy casual, I play hardcore games.
Not Crazy or Abusive - I'm neither of these.
Make-up Optional - Okay?
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - lolvirgin
More green than red. So unless all the points have to be met, I'm so in there.


----------



## Fialovy (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Ren said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Yeah, I just like filling out lists too. It's addicting!


----------



## Julaay (Mar 23, 2013)

Okay, I'll bite. I'll pretend for a second I'm not married and that the thought of dating Chris makes me want to gouge out my own brain. Seriously, anyone who is desperate enough to be with Chris and doesn't charge by the hour will not have the characteristics.



> 18 - [insert current age] Years Old
> Boyfriend-Free
> Blonde or Brunette
> White
> ...



I'm 29, so that one's okay.
Well, I'm boyfriend free, LOL, but I"m married, so I guess that's out.
I'm brunette
I'm white
I don't know, I've been told I'm pretty. I'm not break the mirror ugly, so i guess this checks out.
Slender body type
I'm 5'6"
I do smoke, but I don't drink.
I live over 1,000 miles away from him, THANK GOD!
I have my own car, but its not for deadbeat manchildren to borrow.
What's average income? No way am I supporting an adult.  Is this a subtle hint Chrissy is a golddigger?!
I'm happy and positive most of the time. I can be caring at times.
I do have a child (as do a lot of people my age, good luck finding someone childless as you get older)
I am also a high functioning Autistic

Only 8 right.   I guess I don't have a future supporting a man child and scraping out dirty crapped briefs.


----------



## LU 961 (Mar 23, 2013)

21-29 years old - 23
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I could do a little better but people do call me pretty so check.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Still in college. Check.
Not a SMOKER - Don't smoke and never will, so check.
Carefree/Lighthearted - Depends, kinda carefree most of the time.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Yes. You need to be if studying in a different country than your own.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Self-esteem falters sometimes but I'm outgoing and really talkative.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) -122lbs.
And I'm 5'4''.
Brunette or Blond hair - Black hair.
B-Cup size minimum - 34C.
Clean - Somewhat messy but I maintain myself clean.
Casual - In personality? I guess....
Not Crazy or Abusive - I'm a loony, but not in a bad way.
Make-up Optional - Only for parties.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Eh, not a virgin with/without rage and my mind is always in the gutter so partial check.

 There's only the fact that I live far away from Chris.


----------



## The Joker (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Saney said:
			
		

> pickleniggo said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Ladies~


----------



## punchabunch (Mar 23, 2013)

I noticed Gender isnt on this list. And so, here  I go   

21-29 years old - 20. IN ONE YEAR YOU WILL BE MINE CHRIS
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT -   
Education: High School Graduate or Better - At a high-profile art school
Not a SMOKER - Notnx
Carefree/Lighthearted - Pretty far from it
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I would say I am pretty inteligant
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Nope! I pop antidepressants!
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Hell Nope
Brunette or Blond hair - That I do-Wait, what the fucks wrong with redheads, Chris?
B-Cup size minimum -   
Clean - While I keep myself clean, I have a hard time keeping my work or living area clean.
Casual - Fuck no. Get your angry birds out of here.
Not Crazy or Abusive - Insane. I see a therapist on wendsdays.
Make-up Optional - Thank god.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Now this is just creepy.

Well, thats alot of red. Damn, Guess me and Chris were not ment to be together forever.


----------



## GFYS (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Seahorses said:
			
		

> sweetbolt6969 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


His sexist and misogynistic tendencies, topped with all of the surreal and hilarious failures throughout his public life, seems to draw the ire of many women.  He was actually a big topic of discussion with several other girls and women on a women's self defense and martial arts forum, which has never had a history of studying lolcows.  To a guy, I suspect Chris just seems like a train wreck; a joke; some fat sod to laugh at and/or pity.  To women, he's a train wreck that is aiming to take you down with it; someone who would love to take advantage of you; someone who sees women as objects, which makes his affronts more personal.  At least, that's how I felt when I first started reading up on him.  To me, he was a manbaby sex predator...  I was convinced he was a serial rapist in the making, until it became apparent he was an impotent failure in every single possible way.  Now, I accept that if anyone in a Christian Weston Chandler saga is getting raped, it's almost certainly going to be Chris.


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				GFYS said:
			
		

> He was actually a big topic of discussion with several other girls and women on a women's self defense and martial arts forum.



Jesus fucking Christ, this made my day! Thank you so much!


----------



## cypocraphy (Mar 23, 2013)

The B Cup Minimum is funny, he doesn't want to have bigger titties than his dream lady.

Chris is currently putting Kate Upton to shame.


----------



## Bob's Fries (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				GFYS said:
			
		

> Seahorses said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Link meh to that forum. I must see this.


----------



## Chespirito (Mar 23, 2013)

I am not white, therefore, I am invalid. 

-sigh of relief-


----------



## Grand Number of Pounds (Mar 23, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



> Link meh to that forum. I must see this.



Seconded. Please let it be in English, if not


----------



## Anchuent Christory (Mar 23, 2013)

FruitEater said:
			
		

> I am not white, therefore, I am invalid.
> 
> -sigh of relief-



Just stay away from his Pokemon cards and you'll be fine


----------



## Varis (Mar 24, 2013)

21-29 years old - Check
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Lol no, I have a man face.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Check
Not a SMOKER - Check
Carefree/Lighthearted - Oh fuck so stressed.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Not slow-in-the-mind, so... Check
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Nope...
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Check 
Brunette or Blond hair - Check
B-Cup size minimum - Very much check
Clean - In general or compared to Chris? Check. 
Casual - Check
Not Crazy or Abusive - Only when angry. And with a child like Chris, it'd be often.
Make-up - Never.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Tough to say. I have seven years of experience, but am not a prostitute.


----------



## Male (Mar 24, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - Just one more year...   
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT -  I'm alright
Education: High School Graduate or Better - HS graduate
Not a SMOKER - Never smoked
Carefree/Lighthearted - Sure let's go with that
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I'm a smrt thunker
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I suck at all of those things
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Umm, around 200? I don't have a scale.
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - Flat as a board
Clean - If that means I don't crap myself then yes.
Casual - Sure 
Not Crazy or Abusive - No promises
Make-up - I'm not a tomgirl 
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - No, I don't know what to do with that shrived thing you got down there. Except laugh at it.


----------



## darkhorse816 (Mar 24, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - 22
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I don't want to be vain, but....
Education: High School Graduate or Better - In grad school
Not a SMOKER - Socially smoke
Carefree/Lighthearted - Depends. Most of the time, yes, but when it comes to certain things, I can be serious.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - People think I'm smart, so yes.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Outgoing is my middle name.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 118
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette with Blonde Highlights
B-Cup size minimum - Double D
Clean - Physically yes, but my room is messy. But I wash my dishes, make sure the apartment looks presentable. My male roommates are even messier than me.
Casual - I wear jeans a lot... I guess that's casual.
Not Crazy or Abusive - I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Make-up - Only if I have something important or want to impress somebody.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - I know more than Chris, at least.

Most of them I meet. I'm kind of scared.


----------



## GFYS (Mar 24, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Saito said:
			
		

> Link meh to that forum. I must see this.


It was a Portuguese language forum that got shut down, after it was acquired by Agora São Paulo.  The context was sex predators and _"nice guys"_ (before _loveshy_ made its way into the lexicon), and started detailing people who looked like kidnappers (along with ways to fight them).  _CWC's Message for Ivy_ was posted as a joke, because everyone thought he was an actor*, but quickly descended to argument.  The thread was eventually locked, as it got weirder (broadcasts of _To Catch A Predator_ pretty much tipped the scales).

Some of Chris' antics have been mentioned on Sherdog.com, in a "remembering Lee Hotti" (aka Clyde Cash) thread.  Most folks thought Chris was an actor (apparently a common theme), and couldn't accept someone could be that messed up.  I'll try to dig it up, Sherdog has a very complete archive.

* actually, I think folks though it was a scene from an American horror movie.


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## thiaf (Mar 24, 2013)

21-29 years old - I just meet the minimum age 
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Nope
Education: High School Graduate or Better - I'll be getting my BA soon, so yes
Not a SMOKER - Never smoked
Carefree/Lighthearted - Not really. I'm a rather reserved person
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I made the honour roll!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I'm socially awkward   
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Yup
Brunette or Blond hair - Black hair
B-Cup size minimum - Yup   
Clean - I shower often, if that's what he means.
Casual - I'm not even sure what he means.
Not Crazy or Abusive - No, but I have a feeling Chris could drive me to insanity.
Make-up - Never, my face is too sensitive
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Nope

I find his list to be rather generic. I think a lot of women could meet his requirements. The real thing to wonder about is whether or not Chris actually stands a chance with the sort of sweetheart he's looking for.


----------



## Bob's Fries (Mar 24, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				GFYS said:
			
		

> Saito said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Fuck! What a shame.    But, oh lol... Sherdog. This one I must see. And also, thanks bro.


----------



## KatsuKitty (Mar 24, 2013)

21-29 years old - YES!
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - NO!
Education: High School Graduate or Better - YES!
Not a SMOKER - YES!
Carefree/Lighthearted - NO!
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - NO!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - YES!/YES!/YES!/NO!
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - YES! 162lb
Brunette or Blond hair - YES!
B-Cup size minimum - Look in the mirror, Chris.
Clean - YES!
Casual - YES!
Not Crazy or Abusive - YES!
Make-up - Want to try it.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Despite being a technical virgin, I know and indulge in fetishes half of you have never heard of.
Boyfriend-Free - Unfortunately.
White - Tanned.
5' or Taller - 6'2" (barf)
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area - NO!
Has Own Car - YES!
Average to High Income - YES! Well, savings.

So I guess if Chris were to go gay one day, I'd barely meet his standards.


----------



## Seahorses (Mar 24, 2013)

KatsuKitty said:
			
		

> So I guess if Chris were to go gay one day, I'd barely meet his standards.



Is he not there yet?


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## purplesonichu (Mar 25, 2013)

I don't care if I don't fit his description...I can't wait to be balls deep in that sweet sweet chris chan....one day.


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## trip2themoon (Mar 25, 2013)

21-29 years old - Nope I'm old   
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Fucking gorgeous...  
Education: High School Graduate or Better - YES!
Not a SMOKER - Does weed, heroin and crack cocaine count?
Carefree/Lighthearted - WTF does carefree even mean Chris? I care about my family, my friends, my job, my hobbies, world hunger, pollution, the possibility that my nation may soon secede from a useless union, so no I am not care free. Only a lazy mooch who doesn't need to worry about when his next Tug Boat payment coming can be really care free.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - IQ test I did before said I'm average intelligence.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem Depends on the company and not an arrogant arse who loves the sound of my own voice.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) Yes just over 9 stone.
Brunette or Blond hair - YES!
B-Cup size minimum - No
Clean - YES!
Casual - Don't know what this means. 
Not Crazy or Abusive - Only when someone starts on me first
Make-up - Kiss and
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Not a virgin but you'd have to ask one of my exes if I'm an expert or not. Always left myself satisfied though.
Boyfriend-Free - Always will be
White - Pale white
5' or Taller - 5' 9" and a bit
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area - Nope
Has Own Car - Nope
Average to High Income -Average (after bills I have some money left over to do what I like with)


----------



## DrChristianTroy (Mar 25, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				pickleniggo said:
			
		

> Oh. So less _Gossip Girl_, more _COPS_. Got it.



This TOTALLY reminded me of Gilmore GIrls dialogue. Sorry, carry on.


----------



## DrChristianTroy (Mar 25, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Saito said:
			
		

> But, oh lol... Sherdog. This one I must see. And also, thanks bro.


Sherdog, the laughing stock of MMA journalism. And process THAT. And since I'm bored....

21-29 years old - 27 today.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yup.
Not a SMOKER - Nope. While I'm cutting down I still smoke.
Carefree/Lighthearted - I can be. I have a tendency to get stressed thoguh.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Sure. Not the smartest but I pay my bills.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - If I know you, absolutely. Otherwise I'm not too outgoing. 
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Nope. Fatty.
Brunette or Blond hair - Black.
B-Cup size minimum - Nope.
Clean - Sure. I shower daily and my place is alright but not super clean.
Casual - No, I'm pretty odd.
Not Crazy or Abusive - Isn't crazy subjective? The person who flings poo sees it as normal. That said I can be a dick.
Make-up - No.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Sure, why not. I assume having hanky panky before counts as expert to Chris.

Adding some old requirements:
Boyfriend-Free: Yes. 
White: Nope.
5' or Taller: Yup.
No Drinking Drinks: Nope. I get my drink on every now and then.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nope
Has Own Car: Darn tootin I do.
Average to High Income: Yup.
No Children from Previous Relationships: No kids here. 
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): No.

Also I'm a dude which I'm pretty sure is a big factor.


----------



## Saney (Mar 25, 2013)

21-29 years old - 19, aww, I'm too young g for Chris.  
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: Well, I've been told I'm cute...
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yep, and doing a college correspondence course.
Not a SMOKER - Check, former asthmatic , so it doesn't appeal to me.
Carefree/Lighthearted - Not really, I tend to worry a lot and get stressed fairly easily.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Eh, I think I'm kind of dumb.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - oh dear lord no.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - I'm actually 9 underweight.
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette.
B-Cup size minimum - Flat as a board.
Clean - Well, I keep clean, but I'm kind of messy otherwise.
Casual - ?
Not Crazy or Abusive - Abusive, no. Crazy...possibly.
Make-up - Nope.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - : Nope.
BoyfriendGirlfriend-Free: For the third time...nope.
White: Yep.
5' or Taller: 5'10"
No Drinking Drinks: I don't really drink, so yep.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: A long way off.
Has Own Car: Yep, a Toyota Hilux.
Average to High Income: Oh lord no.
No Children from Previous Relationships: Nope, no kids.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): I'm autism free.

And that's how I'd match up with Chris (if I were a girl, or he was gay).


----------



## cypocraphy (Mar 25, 2013)

Don't forget what Marvin has stressed many times before: there's a big difference in what Chris says, and what he does. Chris would drop many of his requirements for a potential sweetheart.  He thought Kacey would be thinner, did it stop him? Nope.


----------



## The Joker (Mar 25, 2013)

lets see if some celebs make his expectations.


Taylor Swift






21-29 years old - 23
Education: High School Graduate or Better - yes
Not a SMOKER - Nope
Carefree/Lighthearted - hard worker.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - normal
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem -yes 
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - slim
Brunette or Blond hair - blonde
B-Cup size minimum - doesn't look like it (sorry Taylor)
Clean - much cleaner than Chris
Casual - No, she has a career
Not Crazy or Abusive - seems to have some problems with writing sngs about exes (a song about Chris would be great though).
Make-up - yes
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - dunno
Boyfriend-Free: depends
White: yes
5' or Taller: Yup.
No Drinking Drinks: no
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: no
Has Own Car: yes
Average to High Income: oh yeah
No Children from Previous Relationships: no. 
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): No.


she just barly missed her chance for CWC


----------



## random_pickle (Mar 25, 2013)

Damn, even famous (beloved?) celebrities don't meet his expectations.


----------



## kreka (Mar 25, 2013)

*21 to 29-years old*: 22
*Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT*: Uhh...  Well, so I've been told by dudes wanting to sleep with me.
*Education: High School Graduate and/or Better*: Currently in university.
*NOT A Smoker*: I don't smoke _tobacco_...
*Carefree/Light-Hearted*: Does apathy count as being carefree?
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)*: This makes me wonder: when was the last time, if ever, that Chris read a book?
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem*: Awfully personal questions here.
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)*: I'm under 170 pounds, but at my height, that doesn't make you "slim to average".
*Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches*: Yes
*Brunette or Blonde hair*: Yes
*B-Cup size minimum*: Rude!!   
*Clean*: Yes
*Casual*: What does that mean?
*Not Crazy or Abusive*: Bit rich coming from Chris, there.
*Make-Up Optional*: I guess Chris is going to wear all the makeup for both of us 
*Well-Informed to Expert in sex*: Oh yeah, I watch instructional videos all the time.

*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area*: Nope. Canadian here.
*Has Own Car*: No, and furthermore...
*Average to High Income *: I find these two really creepy. He has such a traditional outlook on gender roles, why doesn't he think it's _his_ job to provide? He's basically looking for a slave.
*Happy, Positive, Caring*: Yeah I'm like basically pretty much one of those happy little ponies, dude.
*No Children from Previous Relationships*: No babies for me.
*No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise*: And no spergin'.


----------



## Alec Benson Leary (Mar 25, 2013)

Wow, people here sure do like listing things.


----------



## kreka (Mar 25, 2013)

It's a predefined post format that requires very little thought


----------



## Saney (Mar 26, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Wow, people here sure do like listing things.


Lists are fun.


----------



## Varis (Mar 26, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Wow, people here sure do like listing things.


I have never met a person who _didn't_ like to talk about himself.


----------



## Big Bob Pataki (Mar 26, 2013)

ok let's see if my daughter olga fits these requirements or whatever he calls 'em

21 to 29-years old: she's like, 8 or 9 i think, so that's an automatic out but let's keep going anyway just for shits and giggles
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: well i guess she's cute, or something, i think parents have to say that about their daughters to be supportive and stuff
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: elementary school now but i'm hoping she at least graduates from high school
NOT A Smoker: as far as i know she doesn't smoke
Carefree/Light-Hearted: the fuck does that mean?  well, uh, i guess she laughs at people a lot, that's probably light-hearted i think
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): she makes fun of the ditzy girls, and my other daughter olga is perfect in every way and smart and the best daughter ever so yeah i guess
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: she talks, i just listen when i feel like it
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): uh, yeah, slim i guess
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: the fuck is that for?  uh, i don't know how tall she is but she's taller than most boys so i'd say she meets that requirement thingy
Brunette or Blonde hair: blonde
B-Cup size minimum: oh now that's just plain fucking wrong
Clean: yeah
Casual: uh, yeah i guess?
Not Crazy or Abusive: she had to see a psychiatrist once (i'm still pissed off about that but that's another story) so she doesn't meet that one
Make-Up Optional: well at least it's optional
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: seriously?  what 8 or 9 year old would be that?
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: thankfully, no.
Has Own Car: uh, she's not even old enough to drive, so no
Average to High Income: duh, i'm the goddamn beeper king, and that fat fuck is getting nowhere near my family's income!
Happy, Positive, Caring: well she smiles at times so i guess she's happy
No Children from Previous Relationships: she's a child herself, so of course she doesn't have any
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: i assume no, at least i never heard...that damn psychiatrist...say anything about it

so yeah, if my daughter was old enough might fit some criteria.  not worried though, she'd never go for chris anyway, she's obessed with this other kid who goes to school with her, some football kid i think or something.  but that's another story i don't really feel like hearing because i'm too busy being the beeper king!


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## Alec Benson Leary (Mar 26, 2013)

Varis said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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Yeah but come on, all these iterations of "I'm better than Chris because X" threads, combined with rote listing of stats is a little much.


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## DJAndyMD (Mar 26, 2013)

21-29 years old - 21
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Well, I am cute
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes, currently in college
Not a SMOKER - Never touched a cigarette
Carefree/Lighthearted - Yes, I cannot really be mean or hate anything or anyone
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Yes
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Very high
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Sort of (currently working out and loosing weight)
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette with red highlights
B-Cup size minimum - Higher than B
Clean - Yes
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - Only if someone ticks me off
Make-up - Yeah, when needed
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -Yes

Oh god! I need to quickly change more of these qualities. Then again I am Hispanic so I am not sweetheart material....I hope.


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## TL 611 (Mar 26, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Varis said:
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Lists are fun tho! Just fill one out and you'll be as insanely self-obsessed as the rest of us


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## Mr. 0 (Mar 26, 2013)

Melchett said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
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He doesn't need to fill a list to be self-obsessed. Asperchu and battling Chris already took care of that.


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## Amsterdam (Mar 27, 2013)

Well im a guy but ill have a go at it anyway lol:

21 to 29-years old: nope,18
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: yeah,im a pretty cute dude lol
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: nope.
NOT A Smoker: nope im a smoker.
Carefree/Light-Hearted: im pretty chill.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy):yeah i like to think im pretty smart lol
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: little bit shy but i have great self esteem 
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): way over 170 last time i wieghed my self i was 210lbs
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: 6 foot even
Brunette or Blonde hair: brunette 
B-Cup size minimum: nope
Clean: pretty tidy, very hygenic
Casual: yeah i guess
Not Crazy or Abusive: i have a temper,but not abusive
Make-Up Optional: no make up
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: not an expert no
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: no
Has Own Car: its a piece of shit but yeah i got a car lol.
Average to High Income: i make 13.75$ and hour so id say avarage 
Happy, Positive, Caring: yeah, ive been told im pretty caring.
No Children from Previous Relationships: no kids
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: no autism


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## LucridMockery (Mar 28, 2013)

AtroposHeart said:
			
		

> I was looking at the list, and thinking even if a woman was really intersted in him, it was veery unlikely she would match up to his high standards
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I shudder to think what being married to CWC would be like.  Probably like the 7th layer of hell or something close.  Frighteningly enough, I fit most of this standard but not his Cupid profile thank god *wipes sweat from furrowed brow*


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## CatParty (Mar 28, 2013)

21 to 29-years old: 30's
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: i don't think so, but get told otherwise (body dysmorphia)
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: better
NOT A Smoker: like a chimney 
Carefree/Light-Hearted: too sarcastic for him to understand
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy):hi iq
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: little self esteem, but not shy ironically enough
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs):180
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: 6 '2"
Brunette or Blonde hair: no hair 
B-Cup size minimum: no
Clean: just the thought of chris's hygiene makes me dry heave 
Casual: (this is a repetitive category)
Not Crazy or Abusive: temper
Make-Up Optional: only when i was doing stage plays or younger goth phase
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: yes
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: no
Has Own Car: haven't had a car since i hit a cop car. 
Average to High Income: high
Happy, Positive, Caring: too cynical to consider answering "yes".
No Children from Previous Relationships: not that i know of  
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: never had autism  


(time to cancel the sex change, i'm no good for chris)


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## The Hunter (Mar 28, 2013)

21 to 29-years old: 18. Barely legal, but not good enough, apparently.
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: HEHEHEHEHEHEH, that's really not something I can answer correctly. I leave that responsibility to others.
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: Currently in college
NOT A Smoker: Never smoked before, drank on a few occasions, never doing it again, no drugs at all.
Carefree/Light-Hearted: I think I enjoy being carefree, but I'm always too stressed out these days.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): I've been told I'm smart, and my grades and experiences agree with these claims.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: I can only talk with certain people. Otherwise, I'm the definitive introvert. I'm known for being shy and I used to be self destructive, although those tendencies aren't as prevalent as they used to be.
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): Bulky (210 last time I checked).
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: 6 feet.
Brunette or Blonde hair: Black-ish.
B-Cup size minimum: whu?
Clean: I enjoy my showers thoroughly as well as personal grooming.
Casual: The hell is that supposed to mean? Well, I guess I'm not that uptight. Although I don't think I'd call myself casual.
Not Crazy or Abusive: I can't recall ever being abusive towards others, but I'll leave both that and the whole "crazy" thing to others.
Make-Up Optional: Never
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: Why... 
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Currently residing in South Texas, plans to move west.
Has Own Car: Used to own a Suburban. Currently borrowing a pickup.
Average to High Income: $10 an hour. I wouldn't call that high considering that my hours are subject to change.
Happy, Positive, Caring: I've been told I'm caring and positive/optimistic, but never happy.
No Children from Previous Relationships: Never had a previous relationship, so no kids.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: None at all. ADD, apparently, but it's minor, and I don't even know if it's on the same spectrum. Although there are times that I think I may have been misdiagnosed.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm Chris's type, but he's definitely not my type.


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## RV 229 (Mar 28, 2013)

Hmm. I see pages of ladies telling you about themselves and how fuckable they'd be in Chris's eyes...



Spoiler



And I'm about to add to it.

21 to 29-years old: 21.
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: I _EASILY_ fit into the media's standard of beauty. I'm thin, clean, take care of myself, dress well, and I have a pretty face with long hair. I'd give you guys a picture if it wasn't for the fact that I'm kind of sworn to be anonymous so Chris/his lawyer has nothing to harass me (or Indigo) with.
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: I graduated college and I have a decent job with some college education.
NOT A Smoker: I'm going to agree with Chris on this one. There's too much information on the health hazards that come with smoking to make starting EVER be a good idea.
Carefree/Light-Hearted: This is vague...
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): I'd like to think I'm pretty smart, but I have my ditzy moments. 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: I'm not shy, I have great self-esteem, and I can be pretty outgoing, but I'm not the kind of girl who talks people's ears off. 
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): 120 lbs.
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: 5'4''.
Brunette or Blonde hair: Blonde It's the same colour as Hatsune Miku's because I am Cyan. Yep.
B-Cup size minimum: D-cup. 
Clean: This depends on if I just got off work or not. .-.
Casual: Also vague. Nobody's casual 100% of the time. Sometimes we have to be serious and focused.
Not Crazy or Abusive: I'm secretly Vriska Serket. 
Make-Up Optional: When is it mandatory? 
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: Sex expert? SEXPERT? I wouldn't fuck Chris, so I guess that makes me more knowledgeable than him! 

I don't live in the Charlottesville area and I'm on the Autism spectrum, though, so I don't meet ALL of his standards. (Not to mention I'm not boyfriend-free.) He'd probably be all over me if I was in a social situation with him, but truth be told, all I'd have to do is admit that I'm Cyan and then disappear while he tries to call his lawyer. 





			
				Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Varis said:
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Do you fit Chris's standards of potential sweethearts? I wouldn't mind reading your list. (I want to see Hulk Hogan's, too.)


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## snowkitten91 (Mar 29, 2013)

Okay, here I go:

21 to 29-years old: 21. 
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: Definitely not girlish, if that is what he means by that. 
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: College. 
NOT A Smoker: I don't smoke.
Carefree/Light-Hearted: What's wrong with a little STRESS now and then?
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): Well, I did make it into honor roll.  8-) 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: Shyness is a close friend of mine. 
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): My last body mass index scored pretty normal so, average, I guess?
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: Taller. (About 5' 20'') 
Brunette or Blonde hair: Dark brunette.  
B-Cup size minimum: Right... why should my breasts be any smaller than that of our autistic hero?   
Clean: Showers are a daily must. Also, no   (panties).  
Casual:   
Not Crazy or Abusive: I don't think that Chris is handsome so, yeah, I must be crazy.   
Make-Up Optional: None. 
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: I can't stand porn so, no. 
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Not even USA. 
Has Own Car: A have a miniature toy car collection from my childhood years.  :mrgreen: 
Average to High Income: I'm still studying.
Happy, Positive, Caring: I can't be happy all the time. Also, I can be rather pessimistic and selfish.
No Children from Previous Relationships: No previous sweetbolts, so no kids. Nonetheless, I don't want any. (AKA: No Crystal from me, pal)  ]P    
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: What if I said that I have suspected myself of being a limelight stealer quite often?


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## UltraSonichu (Mar 29, 2013)

21 to 29-years old: 24
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: Probably can look pretty under the right light
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: Masters graduate
NOT A Smoker: Nope
Carefree/Light-Hearted: Not really, I'm a worrier
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): I got top marks in my degrees so I guess so
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: Actually pretty low self-esteem
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs):160
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches: 5' 6"
Brunette or Blonde hair: Yes
B-Cup size minimum: Yes
Clean: Ridiculous requirement coming from you, Chris, but yes.
Casual: I don't know what this means
Not Crazy or Abusive: Because any woman would totally admit to being abusive
Make-Up Optional: Only around my eyes
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: Hahaha
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: No
Has Own Car: No
Average to High Income: Not right now.
Happy, Positive, Caring: No, no and yes
No Children from Previous Relationships: No
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: No

Don't match up too bad but lose out on the income, car owning and location parts. Oh and personality.


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## DykesDykesChina (Mar 29, 2013)

Of course I fit the criteria! I'm a highly intelligent supermodel... Oh wait, I got a pickle! Would you like to make a wish?


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## LucridMockery (Mar 30, 2013)

Anybody else find it odd that he wouldn't date a woman who was say, a half-inch taller than him or 1 month older than him?   Where does he get this crap fom TV?  HE does realize in high heels a 5"10" woman will look taller than him right?  Like, if a rich supermodel pulled up in a Lamborghini and and said "Hey stud! Jump in and come over to my place!"  Would he turn her away for being 1 iota out of his parameters? lol


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## Springblossom (Mar 30, 2013)

LucridMockery said:
			
		

> Anybody else find it odd that he wouldn't date a woman who was say, a half-inch taller than him or 1 month older than him?   Where does he get this crap fom TV?  HE does realize in high heels a 5"10" woman will look taller than him right?  Like, if a rich supermodel pulled up in a Lamborghini and and said "Hey stud! Jump in and come over to my place!"  Would he turn her away for being 1 iota out of his parameters? lol



He'd keel over from a heart attack.


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## Trombonista (Mar 30, 2013)

LucridMockery said:
			
		

> Anybody else find it odd that he wouldn't date a woman who was say, a half-inch taller than him or 1 month older than him?   Where does he get this crap fom TV?  HE does realize in high heels a 5"10" woman will look taller than him right?  Like, if a rich supermodel pulled up in a Lamborghini and and said "Hey stud! Jump in and come over to my place!"  Would he turn her away for being 1 iota out of his parameters? lol



You've obviously never seen this:



Spoiler












Chris will drop almost all of his standards if a woman is willing to be near him for more than a minute. In fact, I think that's his actual definition of pretty.


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## Marvin (Mar 30, 2013)

LucridMockery said:
			
		

> Anybody else find it odd that he wouldn't date a woman who was say, a half-inch taller than him or 1 month older than him?   Where does he get this crap fom TV?  HE does realize in high heels a 5"10" woman will look taller than him right?  Like, if a rich supermodel pulled up in a Lamborghini and and said "Hey stud! Jump in and come over to my place!"  Would he turn her away for being 1 iota out of his parameters? lol


No, like everything Chris says, there's a big difference between what Chris says and what Chris does.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Mar 30, 2013)

LucridMockery said:
			
		

> Anybody else find it odd that he wouldn't date a woman who was say, a half-inch taller than him or 1 month older than him?   Where does he get this crap fom TV?  HE does realize in high heels a 5"10" woman will look taller than him right?  Like, if a rich supermodel pulled up in a Lamborghini and and said "Hey stud! Jump in and come over to my place!"  Would he turn her away for being 1 iota out of his parameters? lol



Brother, the Hulkster thinks that Chris isn't too strict on his parameters. He did try to nail Faeryn, remember


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## Watcher (Mar 30, 2013)

Hulk Hogan said:
			
		

> LucridMockery said:
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At one point Chris stated he thought Bestiality was bad, and then with the emails from Jackie he said he'd like to fuck a Collie. (If he was promised china first mind you)

Since he didn't brag on video about how pretty his prostitute was I'm going to assume that his standards are actually depressingly low in reality.


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## Trombonista (Mar 30, 2013)

Dr. Cuddlebug said:
			
		

> At one point Chris stated he thought Bestiality was bad, and then told PandaHalo he'd be willing to fuck a Collie. (If he was promised china first mind you)



FTFY.


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## Watcher (Mar 30, 2013)

trombonista said:
			
		

> Dr. Cuddlebug said:
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Right thanks for that, their emails all seem to blur into each other.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Mar 30, 2013)

Dr. Cuddlebug said:
			
		

> Since he didn't brag on video about how pretty his prostitute was I'm going to assume that his standards are actually depressingly low in reality.



Brother, the Hulkster never saw the prostitute, but since Chris is cheap, she probably was a lower end one.


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## snowkitten91 (Mar 31, 2013)

trombonista said:
			
		

> You've obviously never seen this:
> 
> 
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> ...



 Oh ,    that's awesome. She definitely didn't enjoy Chris's company. Must've been the smell of     due to the adult autistic child's unability to contain his excitement at the prospect of finally having a (*NOT*) real date. I wonder if Chris has ever seen that photograph himself?


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## CatParty (Mar 31, 2013)

snowkitten91 said:
			
		

> trombonista said:
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Also, who shows up to a date dressed like a hobo? 

Say what you want about her, but at least she put some effort to look acceptable in public.


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## Springblossom (Mar 31, 2013)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Also, who shows up to a date dressed like a hobo?
> 
> Say what you want about her, but at least she put some effort to look acceptable in public.



What the hell are those pink and blue sleeves coming out of his shirt sleeves?


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## Molvanian (Apr 20, 2013)

New:
 21-29 years old - Nope.
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I don't know but nobody called me ugly before
Education: High School Graduate or Better - No.
Not a SMOKER - Yes
Carefree/Lighthearted -  Suicidal.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I got a high score on IQ tests and always passed exams, even hard ones. 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Shy as hell.
 Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 90 pounds, I'm thin.
Brunette or Blond hair - Yes
B-Cup size minimum - B cup 
Clean - Yes
Casual - Maybe
Not Crazy or Abusive - I think it's something wrong with me
Make-up - rarely 
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - I'm asexual

Old:
Boyfriend-Free: Yes
White: Yeah
5' or Taller: Yes
No Drinking Drinks: I don't drink
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nah, I live in Europe.
Has Own Car: Still no, but soon. 
Average to High Income: Still a student...
No Children from Previous Relationships: I've been single for the whole life
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): Haven't been diagnosed, but I don't know...


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## Meeko (Apr 20, 2013)

*21-29 years old* - Nope, I'm early 30s
*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT *- I guess? I'd probably pass his standards.
*Education: High School Graduate or Better* - Yep.
*Not a SMOKER* - Yep.
*Carefree/Lighthearted* - For the most part?
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart* - I've been told I am. 
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem* - I'm about average, but shy. My self-esteem is good enough to know I could do better than Chris.
*Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) -* No, but I'm actively dieting.
*Brunette or Blond hair* - Yes
*B-Cup size minimum* - Yes, but big ones are overrated.
*Clean -*  Compared to Chris's standards? I'm practically Monk. 
*Casual - * What does this even mean? 
*Not Crazy or Abusive - * Saner than Chris. 
*Make-up - * No
*Well-Informed/Expert in sex * Compared to Chris? I'm practically Dr. Ruth.


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## GGGBYBYBY (Apr 20, 2013)

21 to 29-years old: 17
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT:  Does looking like a bulldog mean I am beautiful?
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: I'm studying a-levels
NOT A Smoker: I do not smoke
Carefree/Light-Hearted: Most of the time.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): I dunno about that one.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem:  I can talk but self esteem and talkativeness are two separate things. 
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): yes. 
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches:  5 ft 4
Brunette or Blonde hair: I have naturally brown hair which is dip-dyed blonde?
B-Cup size minimum: E. 
Clean: yes.
Casual: Yes.
Not Crazy or Abusive: No I'm batshit at times.
Make-Up Optional: Does that mean I can wear zombie make up if I like?
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: Tough luck sweetheat. Even then I probably know more than Chrissy.


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## murdoc (Apr 20, 2013)

i noticed on the facebook version he didn't specify a gender
i'm forced to assume if i wore a bra and put a tangelo in each cup i would be a perfect match


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## NobleGreyHorse (Apr 21, 2013)

21 to 29-years old: Ahahahaha. Older than Chris.
Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT: I don't think my septum ring would thrill him. I clean up okay, though.
Education: High School Graduate and/or Better: Master's degree
NOT A Smoker: No tobacco, but high on the hedge/a customer of Inos.
Carefree/Light-Hearted: Complex PTSD. Oops.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy): 4.0 in grad school. Suck that, free bitch!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: The latter is crap at the moment thanks to family drama, but "not shy" is correct.
Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs): Sorry. Medication side effects are real. Junk in the trunk.
Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches:  4'11". I barely make the requirement, which means I'd be staring him in the moobs, lucky me.
Brunette or Blonde hair: Brunette, starting to get gray hairs here and there, because of the aforementioned C/PTSD. I guess my hair is crashing into slumber.
B-Cup size minimum: E. 
Clean: What the fuck does this even mean, coming from Chris? 
Casual: I suppose. Business suits aren't my thing.
Not Crazy or Abusive: Although PTSD is now classified as an "acquired brain injury," I doubt OPL knows or cares about the difference.
Make-Up Optional: A little. Helps with the difference between "pale" and "recent vampire victim."
Well-Informed to Expert in sex: I can provide references.

Any of the qualifications above, of course, go zooming out the window when OPL discovers that, thanks to a congenital spine fuckup, I walk with a cane. Visible disability = Window to Hell. (Also my partner would pick him up and tie him in a knot, but that's another story.) Actually it's a very nice dogwood walking stick with natural grooves in it where a honeysuckle vine grew around the tree it's made of, and I get compliments on it, and use it when teaching when I go over the syllabus and then do a Gandalf "YOU! SHALL NOT! PASS!" when I get to the bit about plagiarism. But still, Window to Hell.


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## cypocraphy (Apr 21, 2013)

I would have thought you walked with a cane due to being 4'11 and having E cups.


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## NobleGreyHorse (Apr 21, 2013)

You'd be amazed what a good non-sport bra can do about that!


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## Hyperion (Apr 21, 2013)

Unfortunately no, but the International Homosexual Conspiracy gave me a target to convert to sin.


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## NobleGreyHorse (Apr 21, 2013)

I'm sorry, I don't quite catch your drift... especially because I didn't get a Bi Conspiracy memo to turn anyone halfway to sin this month.


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## cypocraphy (Apr 21, 2013)

Since all the guys are doing it, I'll give in and join in too:

21-29 years old - 29
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I've often been told I look like Matthew Perry. The ladies like him right?
Education: High School Graduate or Better - High School graduate
Not a SMOKER - Yes
Carefree/Lighthearted - pretty much
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I suppose. I'm not a _total_ idiot
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Yeah sure, whatever
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 6'0 tall and around 180 lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - brown
B-Cup size minimum - I could wear a bra and put honeydew melons in it?
Clean - yes
Casual - I guess?
Not Crazy or Abusive - I'm not...
Make-up - no
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Ha ha.


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## Hyperion (Apr 21, 2013)

NobleGreyHorse said:
			
		

> I'm sorry, I don't quite catch your drift... especially because I didn't get a Bi Conspiracy memo to turn anyone halfway to sin this month.



I've been beaming HOMOGAY thoughts into Chris's head for a few months now.


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## cypocraphy (Apr 21, 2013)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> NobleGreyHorse said:
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We should all join in! I'll start ASAP.


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## CatParty (Apr 22, 2013)

Crazy Pacer said:
			
		

> NobleGreyHorse said:
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Seems to be working.


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## NobleGreyHorse (Apr 22, 2013)

Man! How do you guys get that to work? For over a year I've been sitting in front of my TV secretly doing the same thing in the direction of Rachel Maddow...

...

... waaaait.


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## LionSandwich (May 1, 2013)

I would literally SCARE Chris away with my hobbies and I think that's a good thing even though I'm only 21. (His most recent age standard) 

I'm into hardcore death metal & rap like Lincoln Park and Athiest (with some Beatles stuff on the side) and I love all kinds of piercings and tats, aswell as mmorpgs and more actiony hex-box games. I'm also pretty obnoxious sometimes and I like to say things the way they are.


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## DrChristianTroy (May 1, 2013)

BatsForLashes88 said:
			
		

> I'm into hardcore death metal & rap like Lincoln Park



I can't tell if this is serious. Also it is "Linkin" not "Lincoln". Unless there's some other band called Lincoln Park that I am unaware of.


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## LionSandwich (May 1, 2013)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> BatsForLashes88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



So SORRY. Pardon me and my dyslexia. Aspergers and Lysdexia are not the best combination either.

Anyway, I just listed the ways I wouldn't appeal to Chris. Why wouldn't I be serious? It's not like I like him or anything, Baka-chan.


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## TL 611 (May 1, 2013)

Ooh. I think he's a joke account you know. His mannerisms are reminding me of the Aboo thread stories, a lurker may have read it and gone "that sounds like a laugh, TIME TO PUT MY TROLL HAT ON!"


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## Bgheff (May 1, 2013)

when ever I see Aboo I think of Abobo, from double dragon.


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## hellbound (May 1, 2013)

Heck, about the only categories I don't fit are height, weight, smoking, and location, and the last one not by much. He isn't exactly picky.


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## Marvin (May 1, 2013)

Pretty much this. Except Chris is too much of a pussy to approach them. He waits for them to approach him because he's a passive tomgirl.


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## trip2themoon (May 2, 2013)

trombonista said:
			
		

> LucridMockery said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Wow, check how frayed his cuffs are I wonder how old those clothes are? Beard looks like the batteries in his shaver ran out mid-shave. He's got like 4 jumpers on he must be sweating like a pig (and no doubt honking too). Even charity shops sell clothes in decent condition (they would no doubt reject Chris's stuff if he handed it in), just shows he too much of a cheapskate to invest in some new tops.


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## wikiwikipedia (May 8, 2013)

I'm taller than him (6'), not necessarily happy go lucky, and I barely have enough money to support myself. 

Damn. I'll never get with that. 


(how he ever believed some of the hotties he was """"with"""" were for real and slobbering over his deformed duck is beyond me)


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## Saney (May 8, 2013)

wikiwikipedia said:
			
		

> I'm taller than him (6'), not necessarily happy go lucky, and I barely have enough money to support myself.
> 
> Damn. I'll never get with that.
> 
> ...


Because Chris is incredibly handsome. His mummy told him that, so it must be so.


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## CatParty (May 8, 2013)

Saney said:
			
		

> wikiwikipedia said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




that's kinda like how the bear told him his name was "christian" and we went with it. 

forever.


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## Saney (May 8, 2013)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Saney said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Chris is ridiculously impressionable. You might even say that he's..._naive_.


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## BigBoss (May 8, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				The Joker said:
			
		

> KatsuKitty said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





			
				Chris said:
			
		

> A little bit of an A~ A little bit of a size A.
> 
> [youtube]dC8IWIJZ_g8[/youtube]



Edit: Also, I think it should be noted that (assuming he actually did have sex with a prostitute) Chris fucked a Native American woman. I'm pretty sure he's not picky about race anymore so long as someone wants to stick his bent duck in their vagooter.


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## wikiwikipedia (May 8, 2013)

CatParty said:
			
		

> Saney said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



or the time he made honor roll over a decade ago


so he was a genius 




forever.

there's a theme here.


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## Holdek (Jun 28, 2013)

DrChristianTroy said:
			
		

> BatsForLashes88 said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I want to start a band called Lincoln Park.


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## Furina (Jun 28, 2013)

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: 21
Boyfriend-Free: Never had a boyfriend
Blonde or Brunette: Dark brown, almost black
White: Pure Caucasian 
Pretty: Or so I've been told
Average or Slender Body Type: Slim/athletic
5' or Taller: 5'9"
No Smoking or Drinking: Don't smoke often, drinks like a fish
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nope, Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie 
Has Own Car: Yup
Average to High Income: Pretty good I suppose, enough to support myself for now
Happy, Positive, Caring: Misanthropic, metal and cold (but I bounce all over the place)
No Children from Previous Relationships: No kids
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: I'm completely sane as far as I know

I think Chris would like a menu of potential sweethearts that he could flick through and pick out which ever one tickles his fancy the most. That poor, poor soul.


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## Cwckifan (Jun 28, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - Yup
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Somewhere between cute and average, I guess
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yup
Not a SMOKER - Not of cigarettes
Carefree/Lighthearted - Err, kind of?
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I'm knowledgable; does that count?
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I'm shy, so... :? 
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 131 lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - Dark brunette, yes
B-Cup size minimum - nope
Clean - I bathe regularly, and attempt to keep my living space clean
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - Not so much, I would contend
Make-up - Nope
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Um, I read a lot. Does that count?

Damn, if only my chest were larger, I'd so have him!


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## derpi (Jun 29, 2013)

19
Have boyfriend
Brunette
White
Pretty
Slender
4'11
Drink whenever the opportunity arises
Live in FL
Take the bus/walk/obtain rides
Income is below the poverty line ~   
Happy, positive, sadistic

So...
No ._.


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## Sweet and Savoury (Jun 29, 2013)

derpi said:
			
		

> 19



Crap I think I have things in my fridge older then you....  

Growing old is a terrible thing.


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## Duke Nukem (Jun 29, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*

21-29 years old - Yes
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Does bodybuilding count?
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - No
Carefree/Lighthearted - No, super paranoid, overly aggressive, and always wanting to be the king shit
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - My IQ is OVER 9000!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem- outgoing, reasonably. Let's just say that if I want something I TAKE IT
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 205 lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - Dark brown
B-Cup size minimum - 46" chest and growing. BUT I NEED MORE
Clean - Cleaner than Chris of course
Casual - No way
Not Crazy or Abusive - I AM INSANE
Make-up - No, I don't wear makeup
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - I don't have sex.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jun 29, 2013)

Why did this thread for listing irrelevant stats get necro'd?


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## DangDirtyTrolls (Jun 29, 2013)

*Re: Ladies, do you feet Chris' sweetheat standards?*



			
				Black Sonichu said:
			
		

> 21-29 years old - Yes
> Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Does bodybuilding count?
> Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
> Not a SMOKER - No
> ...


Are you a guy or a girl? This is a topic asking if girls here fit Chris' standards, just being a guy is enough to put Chris off of you there's no need to post stats too.


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## CatParty (Jun 29, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Why did this thread for listing irrelevant stats get necro'd?





Maybe someone could list a couple reasons.


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## CalmMyTits (Jun 29, 2013)

Younger than Chris? - Yes
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I've been told that I am pretty, but I consider myself decent-looking. No make-up, but I am in good shape so I have curves in all the right places.
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - ... Well... I don't smoke tobacco.
Carefree/Lighthearted - Sometimes, depends on the situation
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Hella lot smarter than Chris, my IQ is in the gifted range.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I'm actually pretty shy myself, but not as painfully shy as Chris. I have friends, and I get along.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Yep yep
Brunette or Blond hair - Ginger
B-Cup size minimum - Yes
Clean - Hell yeah
Casual - No way
Not Crazy or Abusive - I'll be a bitch if you're an asshole to me. I give as good as I get.
Make-up - fuck that shit
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Hell yes.
Salary - I'm far from rich (and definitely not in the 50K+ Chris wants), but I live decently and I'm frugal with my money. I don't own a car, but I walk to work, so this saves me a lot on gas money/car payments/insurance

Not sure if Chris would be willing to go out with someone who wears glasses, that's not mentioned in his checklist.


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## shoopdawoop6 (Jun 29, 2013)

Younger than Chris? - Yes
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I don't believe I am but others think differently
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Almost lol
Not a SMOKER - Yes
Carefree/Lighthearted - Eh
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Maybe above average 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Talkative but not the rest...
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Yes
Brunette or Blond hair - Blond
B-Cup size minimum - Yes
Clean - I'm really OCD 
Casual - Sometimes
Not Crazy or Abusive - I BEAT MY MEN.Not really
Make-up - Almost never
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - I know a good amount and probably more than Chris..
Salary - Can't get a job, bad economy in my area

Obv. I don't fit half the stuff and I'm quite thankful for that. to 18-current age thing HAS to change eventually. Why would most 18 year-olds want date a 30 year old man-child? I know I wouldn't but I'm sure there are a select few who would go that high up age-wise to find someone to date.


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## Holdek (Jun 29, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Why did this thread for listing irrelevant stats get necro'd?



I think I got here from someone recently linking to a post made by Rika where he talked about how bad ass "Lincoln Park" is.


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## Bgheff (Jun 29, 2013)

Alec Benson Leary said:
			
		

> Why did this thread for listing irrelevant stats get necro'd?



Don't be coy, you know why.


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## Himawari (Jun 29, 2013)

How about I list the standards I _don't_ meet.

I don't have a car or a stable income (yet).
I am about 200 miles away from Ruckersville.

But as an added bonus, not only do I love vidya, I am literally making it my life.

_Marry me, Chris._


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## Lunachu (Jun 29, 2013)

21-29 years old - 32
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Cute
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - Yes
Carefree/Lighthearted - Suffer from Anxiety
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Smart
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - No, shy
Slim to Average body type (Under 170
pounds) - Yes, average
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - F-Cup
Clean - Yes
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - No
Make-up - Yes
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Well I wouldn't say expert

I'm obviously not his ideal, but I assume he may have settled for me if he had the option. Beggers can't be choosers.


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## Bgheff (Jun 29, 2013)

Unsure if this counts as a Chris thread or a General thread.


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## Alec Benson Leary (Jun 29, 2013)

Bgheff said:
			
		

> Unsure if this counts as a Chris thread or a General thread.


As you said yourself to me, we don't need everyone to list their looks and personalities to discuss a manchild. This is definitely a general thread, not appropriate for the Chris forum.

It's exactly the same as when people post a link to some news article like "autistic man kills his mother" or whatever. They spend one sentence making it sound like it's about Chris, but really they just want an excuse to talk about the stupid article or their feelings about it. Well, this thread is just an excuse for people to submit their personal ads, so it should get moved over to General.


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## YouDorks (Jun 29, 2013)

Standards I Meet: (10/14)

-Boyfriend-Free: Literally speaking, yes
-Blonde or Brunette: Dark Brunette
-Race: White as a Polar Bear's Asscrack
-Pretty: I don't consider myself to look that bad, I'm probably on the better end. My only problem is acne scars.
-Average/Slender Body Type: Pretty Damn Ripped
-Height: 5'11
-No Smoking or Drinking: Too young for either. (That's not to say I don't have a little fun sometimes... hehe)
-Has Own Car: A damn nice one too for a spoiled upper middle class kid. I drive a 2011 Prius.
-Average to High Income: The recession hit my family pretty hard, but we've just about bounced back on the gravy train. It's been a good year.
-No Children: Last Time I Checked

Standards I Don't Meet: (4/14)

-I'm a Jerk, in both of Chris's senses of the word.
-I'm currently 17 years old... still in High School, although the age of consent in my state is 16
-I live South of Boston. (Boston Strong!  )  I've been through the area on vacation, though. I even passed right by PVCC and walked the trails where Chris took a Hike for Jackie.

Assuming all standards aren't weighted (No standard supercedes another), I scored 71%.


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## The Dude (Jun 30, 2013)

YouDorks said:
			
		

> Standards I Meet: (10/14)
> 
> -Boyfriend-Free: Literally speaking, yes
> -Blonde or Brunette: Dark Brunette
> ...



Actually polar bears have black skin so strictly speaking their ass crack is also black.


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## cypocraphy (Jun 30, 2013)

Thanks for telling me all of your bra sizes, ladies.


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## Venusaur (Jul 2, 2013)

Why not? Let's see...

21-29 years old - *Yep!*
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - *Yes. I think I'm not ugly...*
Education: High School Graduate or Better - *Yes.*
Not a SMOKER - *Um...*
Carefree/Lighthearted - *No... I have to worry about my job, life and relationships...*
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - *Yes, I am not a derp.*
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Yes. (With people I feel comfortable with.)
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - *Yes. 140 pounds.*
Brunette or Blond hair - *Yes. Brunette.*
B-Cup size minimum - *Yep. C.*
Clean - *Yes. Just had a shower.*
Casual - *Yes.*
Not Crazy or Abusive - *Debatable. OH I KID.*
Make-up - *No. Only for special occations.*
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - *Yes. I know my way around...*

That comes down to 12/15.


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## trip2themoon (Jul 2, 2013)

Holdek said:
			
		

> Alec Benson Leary said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I hear it's quite beautiful in the summer.


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## cypocraphy (Jul 2, 2013)

I think I should point out that we had this very same thread on the old forum last year. Chit was able to use that thread to zero in on the youngest girls with the biggest boobs.


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## Saney (Jul 2, 2013)

bungholio said:
			
		

> I think I should point out that we had this very same thread on the old forum last year. Chit was able to use that thread to zero in on the youngest girls with the biggest boobs.


Well, that's creepy.


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## GV 002 (Jul 3, 2013)

Hmm, I'm curious so I'll give this shit a go.

*21-29 years old* - 24
*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT* - The fuck do I know?  I get laid regularly and I don't think I look like a heifer, so cute?
*Education: High School Graduate or Better* - GCSEs, 6th form, foundation diploma, uni, and a gold star from the school of hard knocks, all in the bag!
*Not a SMOKER* - I smoke, but not as heavily as I used to.  2-15 a day now, aroundabouts.
*Carefree/Lighthearted* - I have PTSD and that does come with a bumload of baggage, but the majority of the time I tend not to give a flying fuck what people think of me, and just live my life having as much fun, working hard and getting in as many laughs as I can.
*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart* - I'm smarter than the very shiniest of shiny buttons.
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem* - I'm very outgoing and loud, but sometimes when the anxiety gets a grip on me, I pipe right down and become withdrawn.
*Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds)* - Oooh, I'm just over.  I've gained a fair amount of weight due to medication side-effects and a godawful metabolism.  I like to think I'm built like a tavern wench.
*Brunette or Blond hair* - Neither!  I'm auburn naturally, but my hair's currently blackish, with rusty-blonde bits it that used to be purple but I can't be arsed to re-dye it.
*B-Cup size minimum* - Either F or E-cup, it depends on the bra.  Bras are stupid.
*Clean* - I like to think so, though I do get graphite and ink all over myself.  I also cook like Swedish Chef, so...yeah.
*Casual* - What?  Casual how?  I won't walk around in a suede jacket and pointy shoes whistling, so no.  Maybe.  Fuck you Chrissy.
*Not Crazy or Abusive* - Abusive, no...not unless you piss me off to the point I want to booby trap a pineapple with a hand grenade and throw it through your parlour window.  Crazy?  Most definitely yes, I'm an artist for fucks' sake!
*Make-up* - Not all the time...I only really ever wear it to go out.  The rest of the time, a quick go-over with a concealer stick is all I really bother with.
*Well-Informed/Expert in sex* - You wish you were as good at sex as me.  I'm a fucking PRO.

I'm not boyfriend-free though...bummer Chrissy, we'd have got on just fine, other than the fact that I fit pretty much none of the requirements.  Juuuust fine.


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## Mourning Dove (Sep 19, 2013)

Oh boy I get to be a narcissist! 

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: 23
Boyfriend-Free: Yes
Blonde or Brunette: Brunette
White: Only half...
Pretty: Yes
Average or Slender Body Type:  Average
5' or Taller: 5’1”
No Smoking or Drinking: I like me some hookah and mojitos.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nope
Has Own Car: Yes
Average to High Income: Poor college student
Happy, Positive, Caring: I try to be
No Children from Previous Relationships: None that I know of
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): Sorry I have ASS-burgers
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes.
Carefree/Lighthearted – Not really…
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart – I was on high school HONOR ROLL
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem – Depends on who I’m with
B-Cup size minimum - Yes
Clean – I shower DAILY
Casual – Sure?
Not Crazy or Abusive – Sorry I’m on the crazy meds
Make-up – Kind of
Well-Informed/Expert in sex – No

15.5/24?


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## Holdek (Sep 19, 2013)

This is just a thread for the ladies on the forum to brag   .


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## exball (Sep 19, 2013)

I match the standard Chris will never admit to. I am a man.


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## Pikonic (Sep 19, 2013)

18 - [insert current age] Years Old- 25. Check
Boyfriend-Free . In a relationship, no go
Blonde or Brunette brunette. Check
White. Check
Pretty. Subjective, my guy friends say I am. Check
Average or Slender Body Type. Check
5' or Taller. 6'0". Check 
No Smoking or Drinking. E-cig user and mild wine drinker. No go
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area. CT, no go
Has Own Car. Check
Average to High Income. Check
Happy, Positive, Caring. Subjective, people call me nice, so check.

...3 off. So close


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## The Dude (Sep 20, 2013)

18 - [insert current age] Years Old - Same age as Chris, 31
Boyfriend-Free - Actually I am. My wife might have something to say about me dating Chris though...
Blonde or Brunette - Yep
White - I'm so white that I never try to tan, I just try to neutralize the blue
Pretty - Wife thinks I'm handsome, I think I'm ugly. You be the judge, my pics are in the Pics thread in general. Go ahead and get back to me on that.
Average or Slender Body Type - Nope. I'm a fatty fatty fat fat, maybe even weight more than Chris. However I don't LOOK as fat as Chris. Again, take a look at the Pics thread and you tell me
B-Cup size minimum - The Dude has bitch tits. Wife says I'm an A-cup at most though. I'll take her word for it.
5' or Taller - Yup, 6'0"
Clean - Cleaner than Chris. I know how to bathe.
No Smoking or Drinking - Does the occasional bowl or blunt count? I do use a personal vaporizer for nicotine fluid. Maybe since it doesn't stink he won't care?
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area - Nope, Salt Lake City.
Has Own Car - Not only my own car, but my own truck and ATVs too!
Average to High Income - Uh, probably not. I guess it depends on what one considers "Average"
Happy, Positive, Caring - Usually. I do suffer from depression sometimes. I'm extroverted to a fault sometimes and pretty caring of people I know and love.
Casual - Oh yeah, I'm pretty chill.
Not Crazy or Abusive - Does bipolar disorder count for the cray-crays?
No Children from Previous Relationships - Nope, I've got a son.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise) - I'm not diagnosed, but I might be somewhere on the spectrum a little.
Makeup - Not usually, though when my Mom was an Avon Lady and I was five she used me as a model.
Expert in sex - Well my wife is satisfied, so I'll say more so than Chris is.

But I'm married and also a GOT DANGED JERK so I guess my dreams of being Chris' Sweetheart from-the-ground-up must go unrealized.


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## exball (Sep 20, 2013)

The Dude said:
			
		

> 18 - [insert current age] Years Old - Same age as Chris, 31
> Boyfriend-Free - Actually I am. My wife might have something to say about me dating Chris though...
> Blonde or Brunette - Yep
> White - I'm so white that I never try to tan, I just try to neutralize the blue
> ...



I don't know Chris did say he would get a sex change if he was a homo. It's starting to look like he's going female.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Sep 23, 2013)

21-29 years old - 19, turning 20 soon
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - apparently I'm hot since I attract so many annoying guys 
Education: High School Graduate or Better - I got a high school edjumactions
Not a SMOKER - ew ew ew no
Carefree/Lighthearted - I'm kind of serious sometimes. I like to get my shit done then have fun later
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I hope so!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - good self esteem, but I only speak when spoken to
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - much smaller then that, mostly muscle, can lift more then Chris
Brunette or Blond hair - naturally brunette, usually dyed some garish color
B-Cup size minimum -   
Clean - i hope?
Casual - depends on the situation
Not Crazy or Abusive - I would probably wind up beating him senseless an a daily basis
Make-up - horrible, horrible, 80's taste in makeup. Almost as bad as Chris'
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - again, almost as bad as Chris


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## Dollars2010 (Sep 23, 2013)

I'm feel like redoing mine:
18 - [insert current age] Years Old - 22.
Boyfriend-Free - Nope.
Blonde or Brunette- Brunette.
White - Yeah.
Pretty - Average I guess.
Average or Slender Body Type - Plump.   
B-Cup size minimum -   
5' or Taller - 5'4".
Clean - Certainly.
No Smoking or Drinking - Not a smoker but I drink.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area - Nope, California.
Has Own Car - Nope.
Average to High Income - Unemployed at the moment.
Happy, Positive, Caring - I'm pretty caring.
Casual - I'm laid back.
Not Crazy or Abusive - Neither.
No Children from Previous Relationships - Nope. I have pets. 
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise) - Nah.
Makeup - Just some.
Expert in sex - Not an expert but yeah.


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## Wall of Originals (Feb 11, 2014)

I am 24
Boyfriend-Free  *Yes*
Blonde or Brunette *My natural hair is chestnut brown, but is currently pink*
White *Yes*
Pretty *My Dad thinks I am...*
Average or Slender Body Type *Haha, no.* 
5' or Taller *5'6*
No Smoking or Drinking *I love the smokes and the drink*
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area *West Coast, represent!*
Has Own Car *HAD own car RIP VW   *
Average to High Income *Currently a student, moved back home with parents*
Happy, Positive, Caring *I'm all that AND a bag of chips!*
No Children from Previous Relationships? *No*
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise) *No*

Hell, I have followed this fool for years. I am already more than what he could ever achieve in boyfriend-free girls!


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## hopietan (Feb 12, 2014)

I just turned 18 this year, so I don't fit the age requirement. 
* Boyfriend Free * Haven't been for 4 years now, so already I fail
*Cute, Pretty or Hot?* I suppose I fall under rather average or cute just because a lot of people say so. 
*Education: * Highschool Graduate
*Smoker? * Nooo
*Carefree/Lighthearted * lol no 
*Intelligence: * Dumb but not ditzy if that counts ehehe
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self Esteem * Okay self-esteem but I'm very shy but I've learned to open up better as long as people initiate a conversation first. 
*Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs) * Chubby just a bit over 170 lbs 
*Brunette or blonde hair * My friends say I'm a red head but I think I'm more brunette (The curse of auburn hair) so I guess I'll go with what they say.
*B Cup Minimum * FINALLY ANOTHER PASS   
*Clean * YEEES 
* Casual * No..? Yes..? 
* Not crazy or abusive *  
*Children? * Nope 
* Autism? * Nope
* Lives in area? * Nope. Not even in USA, I live in Canada. 

So I pretty much fail, Chris is all up for you other ladies (or gents) to grab.


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## FramerGirl420 (Feb 12, 2014)

21-29 years old - 25
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Meh. IDK?...Prob not
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER - I'm smoking as I type this.
Carefree/Lighthearted - Most of the time
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - Professors have told me I'm "booksmart" as opposed to "Streetsmart". I take this as I should probably be wearing a helmet at all times.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - lolnope.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - I weigh in at a hefty 94 lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette - Naturally? Dirty blonde. Right now? Dyed black.
B-Cup size minimum - *check* Oddly enough, considering the rest of my gross stick body, I'm a C.
Clean - Once again *Check*
Casual - lolwut?
Not Crazy or Abusive - I'm pretty mellow and submissive so once again? *check*
Make-up - Yes. I refuse to unleash the horror of my non-make-up'ed face upon the world.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Meh, I'd say I'm "somewhat experienced" so no.

Biggest deal-breaker(on his part)..My name is Krystal. It is obvious that I am his TRUE and HONEST daughter from the ground-up. My favourite colors are even pink, light blue, and cream. Too bad my PINHEAD parents spelled my name wrong.


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## Axiom (Feb 12, 2014)

*Age:* I'm 26 but I look younger.
*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, HOT:* Pretty cute and attractive, I think?
*Education:* I graduated high school but ran out of steam halfway through college.
*Non-Smoker:* I've never smoked anything. Ever. In my entire life.
*Carefree/Lighthearted:* It's pretty hard to upset me.
*Intelligence:* AH HAZ A SMART.
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Self-Esteem:* Well I talk a lot. I can be outgoing and not shy, but am uncertain around new people. My self-esteem depends on the day.
*Weight:* FATASS I weigh like 150lbs or so but most people won't guess that looking at me.
*Hair:* My natural colour is brown but I dye it red. So maybe I get half a point?
*Cup Size:* DD-cups. Booyah.
*Clean:* I keep a consistent schedule and bathe twice a month.
*Casual:* I'm not even wearing pants right now, how's that for casual?
*Not Crazy or Abusive:* Abusive? Never. Crazy? Hellz to the yeah.
*Makeup:* I know how to apply it!
*Sexual Experience:* I know where people keep their no-no-parts.
*Children:* I ate them.
*Autism:* NOEP.
*Lives in the Area:* I live in the next state but fortunately it's a small one.

Of course, I'm not boyfriend-free so I guess this is all a moot point.


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## Sexual Stallone (Feb 12, 2014)

Age: 25
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, HOT: I'm scalding hot, just ask Bungholio   
Education: I have a masters in Street Keepin
Non-Smoker: Used to. 420 PUSSAY ALL NIGHT!!!11
Carefree/Lighthearted: I'm the most carefree member of the 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




Intelligence: Si
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Self-Esteem: Its not that I'm the life of the party, I AM THE PARTY!
Weight: When I was in Rocky 4 shape I was around 165-170ish but now I'm fat. Yes, I failed Hulk Hogan  . I beg for his forgiveness and I promise I'll never fall of the Hulkamania path ever again     
Hair: As brown as   
Cup Size: I can basically bench press Chris. You do the math   
Clean: All the NWO members shower together everyday so we're all pretty clean
Casual: I play a lot of Facebook Tetris, if thats what he means
Not Crazy or Abusive: Sometimes I go berserk and powerbomb innocent people through announce tables, so don't mess with me!
Makeup: Used to in my OZ days
Sexual Experience: They call me Big Sexy for a reason


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## Carlson (Feb 12, 2014)

This is the CWCki's OKCupid.


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## Axiom (Feb 12, 2014)

It'll only be the CWCki Forums OKCupid if it turns out we are all lying about our age, weight, marital status, and income.

I AM 300 POUNDS AND ACTUALLY A DUDE.


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## cypocraphy (Feb 12, 2014)

Carlson said:
			
		

> This is the CWCki's OKCupid.



Sup?  10" here


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## garbageraider (Feb 13, 2014)

bungholio said:
			
		

> Carlson said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You're being too subtle.


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## Hollywood Hulk Hogan (Feb 23, 2014)

Age: Hulkamania is ageless, brother!
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, HOT: The 24 inch pythons make me attractive, brother!
Education: Graduated from high school after lots of studying, brother!
Non-Smoker: Smokers are jokers, brother!
Carefree/Lighthearted: Of course, brother!
Intelligence: Of course, brother!
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Self-Esteem: From the training, the prayers and the vitamins, I have this covered, brother!
Weight: 303 lb of solid American muscle, brother! I guess that makes me too heavy for Chris, man
Hair:   
Cup Size:  
Clean: Of course, brother!
Casual: No way, brother
Not Crazy or Abusive: Only if you hurt my pride or hurt my friends, brother!
Makeup: Nope!
Sexual Experience: 
Children: Two, brother! 
Autism: No way, man
Lives in the Area:


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## Bucharest (Feb 23, 2014)

Age: Old enough in certain countries- pay no mind those countries don't exist anymore, but still old enough!
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, HOT: Well, people don't vomit while looking at me, anymore. 
Education: Masters of Assembly from Hamburger-U
Non-Smoker: Hard to smoke when you don't have lips, son.
Carefree/Lighthearted: Smashtastic.
Intelligence: The fuck is this?
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Self-Esteem: I don't like it when you look at me that way.
Weight: Lighter since they removed my brother. 
Hair: feathered like a majestic eagle. 
Cup Size: Probably have the most rockin' tits of anyone on the forum.
Clean: Mr. Clean Marine here. Keep your powder dry. 
Casual: Or formal Sure. Whatever baby.
Not Crazy or Abusive: BITCH WHAT I SAY ABOUT BRINGING THAT UP?
Makeup: Full facial skull tattoo... does that count?
Sexual Experience: I believe in miracles. 
Children: are noisy and useless. 
Autism: MAN-tism.
Lives in the Area: 612 Wharf Avenue.


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## TrippinKahlua (Feb 23, 2014)

21-29 years old - 27
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - Compared to what I used to think I looked like as a child, I think I'm *GOREGEOUS*
Education: High School Graduate or Better - I have a Bachelors Degree
Not a SMOKER - I smoke cigarettes if my autistic emotions are too high, but I'm not gonna become addicted  :arrow: 
Carefree/Lighthearted - Carefree, I guess. Is that a synonym of "passive?"
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I'm smart when I want to be, but that's certainly not all the time.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Yeah right Chris. The biggest difference between me and you is that I eventually was institutionalized (though it was more of a retard academy than a mental institution, I didn't even need to go in my opinion)
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 160lbs
Brunette or Blond hair - Mousy brunette, but I prefer it blackish-brown so I dye it often.
B-Cup size minimum - I'm a freaking skinny-winny toothpick, I can bench press something like 140lbs and I still have no boob muscles   
Clean - Oh yeah. I'm a freaking neat freak. I never leave my house without a shower.
Casual - ?
Not Crazy or Abusive - I have a lot of nervous breakdowns and sperg outs in real life. Chris would think I'm too autistic.
Make-up - 80s makeup is hawt
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - Oh come on Chris, me? Sexual experience?   

Damn, I fail hard. I make all gay guys jealous they can't have me and I'm not even good enough for Chris.


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## TL 611 (Feb 23, 2014)

Bucharest said:
			
		

> Age: Old enough in certain countries- pay no mind those countries don't exist anymore, but still old enough!


H-how old are you that only non-existent countries grant that age of consent? I mean there are countries that still exist with age limits crazy low - the Vatican City is 12 for example, japan I believe is 13.


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## exball (Feb 23, 2014)

Melchett said:
			
		

> Bucharest said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Vatican city, home of the pope, is 12...That's fucking horrifying.


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## Carlson (Feb 23, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> Melchett said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



How many kids are roaming around the Vatican?


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## The Fair Lady (Feb 23, 2014)

*18 - [insert current age] Years Old:* 20
*Boyfriend-Free:* Yes
*Blonde or Brunette:* Dirty blonde
*White:* Yes
*Pretty:* I don't think so
*Average or Slender Body Type:* Average
*5' or Taller:* 5'3''
*Education:* High school grad + community college
*No Smoking or Drinking:* No to smoking, will probably start drinking next year
*Carefree/Light-hearted:* I've been told to lighten up, so...
*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Self-Esteem:* NOPE
*Moderate to very intelligent:* Sure
*B-cup size minimum:* Large C
*Clean:* Yup
*Casual:* T-shirts are practically all I wear
*Not crazy or abusive:* Chris plz
*Make-up optional:* Good, it's a pain in the ass to put on
*Well-informed to expert in sex:* Lol


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## littlebiscuits (Feb 23, 2014)

21-29 years old - 23
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT -  I, like many women, can go from pterodactyl face-monster to red carpet ready within a span of 12 seconds. It's just one of my many super cool lady powers. 
Educated-  I don't want to talk about it! I dropped out of college due to sickness. 
Not a SMOKER - I don't smoke, but I sure as hell do drink... 
Carefree/Lighthearted - I'm mad chill, boo. 
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - HURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I'm kind of huge tard most of the time. But I know a lot about Vikings? 
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - I'm the least shy person I've ever met. 
Slim to Average body type  -  I'm too tiny for him, way too tiny. I'm only 4'11. I'm a peanut. 
Brunette or Blond hair - Very dark hair. 
B-Cup size minimum - LOL NOPE.   
Clean - Are we talking sober, cause.....
Casual - Sure? 
Not Crazy or Abusive - Crazy yes. Abusive no. 
Make-up - lipstick? 
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -


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## Carlson (Feb 24, 2014)

> B-Cup size minimum - LOL NOPE.



No lie, you might literally be the only girl who's commented here that failed this.

Pretty much every woman I've seen who's commented here has been all "I'M A G BITCHES"


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## exball (Feb 24, 2014)

Carlson said:
			
		

> > B-Cup size minimum - LOL NOPE.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I'm a ZZ cup.  I think this would kill a women but I'm a guy so what do I know.




			
				littlebiscuits said:
			
		

> 21-29 years old - 23
> Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT -  I, like many women, can go from pterodactyl face-monster to red carpet ready within a span of 12 seconds. It's just one of my many super cool lady powers.
> Educated-  I don't want to talk about it! I dropped out of college due to sickness.
> Not a SMOKER - I don't smoke, but I sure as hell do drink...
> ...



Hey baby.    8-)


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## caffeinated_wench (Feb 24, 2014)

My turn.

*-21 to 31-years old* _24. Sooo I fit right in that range._
*-Cute, Pretty, Beautiful, or HOT* _Eh, I'm told I'm cute, soooo... check?_
*-Education: High School Graduate and/or Better* _Check._
*-NOT A Smoker* _Check._
*-Tomboys welcome* _I'm so pleased to have your approval._
*-Carefree/Light-Hearted* _My boyfriend refers to me as being snark incarnate. Sooo... no. Also a pretty negative personality._
*-Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart (Not Ditzy)* _........Yeah, ditz._
*-Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem* _Kinda, nope, nope, nope. One out of four._
*-Slim to Average body type (under 170 lbs)* _Check._
*-Between 4 feet, 10 inches and 5 feet 10 inches* _Check._
*-Brunette or Blonde hair* _Brunette. Check._
*-B-Cup size minimum* _Check._
*-Clean* _Check._
*-Casual* _Check check._
*-Not Crazy or Abusive* _.....what kind of crazy are we talking._
*-Make-Up Optional* _No makeup._
*-Tongue, Nipple or Clit Ring/Piercing Optional* _None of those. Just ears._
*-Well-Informed to Expert in sex* _Ehhhhh, so-so? At least on the former._

Not a boyfriend-free girl HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## exball (Feb 24, 2014)

caffeinated_wench said:
			
		

> Not a boyfriend-free girl HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Sorry Marina, Silver is not real.


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## caffeinated_wench (Feb 24, 2014)

exball said:
			
		

> caffeinated_wench said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


YES HE IS!  

He's real, and he's sooooo much sexier than Chris! :x 
We'll be together 5evr!


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## Carlson (Feb 26, 2014)

Carlson said:
			
		

> > B-Cup size minimum - LOL NOPE.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Forgot to mention this, but you're also way fucking shorter than I thought you were.


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## geewizz (Feb 26, 2014)

*Boyfriend*-Free
*Yup, I indeed do not have a boyfriend.*
Blonde or Brunette 
*Yup, I am indeed Blonde*
White 
*Check*
Pretty 
*Yes, I'm pretty. my skin is as smooth and soft as a black baby after I've shaved.*
Average or Slender Body Type 
*Kind of, though I'm probably more muscular than Chris*
5' or Taller 
*Yep*
No Smoking or Drinking 
*Do you think he would care about previous smokers? If so. No. Scotch is my mistress.*
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area 
*No, but I've looked into real estate there, cheap as balls.*
Has Own Car 
*No.*
Average to High Income 
*I will soon.*
Happy, Positive, Caring 
*Mostly, sure.*

In other exchanges, Christian established a few more rules: 
No Children from Previous Relationships[1] 
*I am Child free!*
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise
*I'm not autistic, but I have a weird thing about colors*

So in summary I think I'm just what Chris is looking for! I wonder if he would use his sperg bucks to buy me Mac Donalds and let me spoon with him and barb so we can make a manchild sandwich.


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## Carlson (Feb 26, 2014)

All right, what the hell?

18 - 32 Years Old: 21.
Boyfriend-Free: Hell yeah.
Blonde or Brunette: Brunette.
White: Yeppers.
Pretty: SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND STRAIGHT.
Average or Slender Body Type 170 lbs. or under: I currently weigh in at 211 pounds, which is pretty average for my frame. I look completely normal.
B-Cup size minimum: Not even a little bit of moob.
5' or Taller: 6'2. I tower over the motherfuckers.
Clean: Very much so.
No Smoking or Drinking: No smoking, but I drink beer regularly .
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Ha ha no.
Has Own Car: Not yet, but I'm making so much money now that it's in the near future.
Average to High Income: $12 an hour, plus $25 an hour for videography work. So pretty much.
Happy, Positive, Caring: Surprisingly yes! I'm your typical optimist, and despite my snark I'm pretty much always in a good mood. Bad moods don't last.
Casual: Ehhhh. At home I'm pretty chill, but at work I like people to actually be at least minimally competent. Laziness and stupidity annoy me.
Not Crazy or Abusive: Nope. No mental illnesses, and I regularly try to help people in abusive relationships.
No Children from Previous Relationships: Thankfully not.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): 100% neurotypical.
Makeup: I rarely apply it on myself.
Expert in sex: Well, more than him. But it's been a while.


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## Scratch This Nut (Oct 14, 2015)

Late, but meh.  I want to do this.
21-29 years old - 22
Boyfriend-Free: Nope.
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT -I have the face of a middleschooler so I have no idea what to say about this.  Adorable as fuck, I guess.
White: Yes
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Yes
Not a SMOKER or DRINKER - Don't smoke, but I do drink
5' or Taller: 5'6 or thereabouts.
Carefree/Lighthearted - High strung as hell
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I get good grades at school and I'm a computer science major.  Does that answer your question?
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Horribly shy.
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - Kinda chubby.
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - Trust me when I say they are fucking amazing.
Clean - Yeah
Casual - Hoodies and Jeans
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Nope
Has Own Car: Yep
Average to High Income: No, I'm still in school.
Happy, Positive, Caring: I guess.
Not Crazy or Abusive - The fuck?
No Children from Previous Relationships: Nope.  Don't like kids.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): Even better.  I'm a spotlight-stealing Aspie.
Make-up - Nope
Well-Informed/Expert in sex - HAHAHAHAHA NO.


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## Hi I Am From Page 6 (Oct 14, 2015)

These are the criteria that I meet:

18 - [insert current age] Years Old 
Boyfriend-Free 
Blonde or Brunette 
5' or Taller 
No Smoking or Drinking 
No Children from Previous Relationships


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## FramerGirl420 (Oct 15, 2015)

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: I'm 27, so ye
Boyfriend-Free: nope
Blonde or Brunette: natural blonde but I keep it dyed black
White: I'm pretty damn white
Pretty: eh,idk
Average or Slender Body Type: slender
5' or Taller: n-not quite. I'm 4'10"
No Smoking or Drinking: I do both of these constantly
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: no, thank god
Has Own Car: ye. A shitty Chevy, but I do own it. 
Average to High Income: probably lower than average
Happy, Positive, Caring: for the most part I suppose 
No Children from Previous Relationships: gross! No kids in general for me
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise: nah, I'm not touched with the 'tism.


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## Len Kagamoney (Oct 15, 2015)

21-29 years old - 19
Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT - I've been told I'm all of these so I guess
Education: High School Graduate or Better - Currently attending uni so yes
Not a SMOKER - Don't smoke
Carefree/Lighthearted - Depends
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart - I made it into a very competitive program so yes
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem - Ye I'm all of these
Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) - 100 lbs, BMI of 17.8 so I'm technically underweight
Brunette or Blond hair - Brunette
B-Cup size minimum - DD
Clean - Yes
Casual - Yes
Not Crazy or Abusive - I guess so
Make-up - I wear it
Well-Informed/Expert in sex -Definitely


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## Silver (Oct 15, 2015)

hey, I never did this, leggo

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: 20, almost 21
Boyfriend-Free: Not really it's complicated
Blonde or Brunette: Dirty blonde
White: As bread
Pretty: Depends on the day of the week and who's judging me
Average or Slender Body Type: Average
5' or Taller: 5’3"-5'4"
No Smoking or Drinking: Neither
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Only about a 5 hour drive...
Has Own Car: Yep.
Average to High Income: I am _trying_ to get a part-time job!!! 
Happy, Positive, Caring: Maybe? I dunno how Chris defines any of these things when it's not, y'know, 100%.
No Children from Previous Relationships: No thank god. I don't _want_ kids so that's not good for Chris' dreams of Crystal
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): Diagnosed Aspie. Sorry
Education -High School Graduate or Better: About to graduate with a bachelor's degree, plans are to go for a doctorate.
Carefree/Light-hearted: Not really. I can be but I'm also a borderline workaholic
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart: Yeah. But I wouldn't want to attempt to have intelligent conversations about something that's not video games with _Chris._
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: lol _funny!_
B-cup size minimum: HAHAHAHA no
Clean: Yeah
Casual: Dorky t-shirts and jeans/sweatpants all the day!
Not crazy or abusive: As far as I know I'm not??
Make-up optional: It ain't happening
Well-informed to expert in sex: I have no idea what metric we are using to judge this so I'm gonna say no


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## Mourning Dove (Oct 15, 2015)

Mourning Dove said:


> Oh boy I get to be a narcissist!
> 
> 18 - [insert current age] Years Old: 23
> Boyfriend-Free: Yes
> ...



Let's see how much I've changed in 2 years, shall we? I wonder, does Chris still even have these same sweetheart standards in the present, or has he become more lax out of desperation?

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: Approaching 26 
Boyfriend-Free: Always have been
Blonde or Brunette: Brunette
White: Half-White, Half-Asian
Pretty: Yeah?
Average or Slender Body Type: Average
5' or Taller: 5’1”
No Smoking or Drinking: Rarely drink
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: I've never even been over there!
Has Own Car: I need to buy myself a better one.
Average to High Income: Nope, still poor out of college
Happy, Positive, Caring: I try to be
No Children from Previous Relationships: The closest thing to children I have are the birds I feed in my backyard.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): Sorry, I have a 30 Autism Quotient score.
Education -High School Graduate or Better: I have a Bachelor's degree from the largest public research university in my state. So that's good.
Carefree/Lighthearted: I try to be.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart: I love me some intellectual pursuits.
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem: Still depends on who I'm around.
B-Cup size minimum: Yep
Clean: I still shower daily.
Casual: What does "casual" even mean??
Not Crazy or Abusive: I'm still on crazy meds, but being abusive is definitely not a thing of mine.
Make-up: Somewhat
Well-Informed/Expert in sex: Virgin WITH RAGE


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## cheersensei (Oct 15, 2015)

18 - [insert current age] Years Old: 28
Boyfriend-Free: Four years of marriage this month.
Blonde or Brunette: Blonde
White: Yes
Pretty: Depends who you ask.
Average or Slender Body Type: "More to love."
5' or Taller: 5'4
No Smoking or Drinking: Curses, foiled me here.
Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area: Not even close.
Has Own Car: It's not mine, it's my husband's.
Average to High Income: I barely scrape above minimum wage.
Happy, Positive, Caring: I am to the right people.
No Children from Previous Relationships: Unless I've given birth without my knowledge, then no.
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise): No atsimu
Education: High School Graduate or Better - I've graduated high school and had some technical school training.
Carefree/Lighthearted – Depends on who I am with.
Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart – My quality scores at work are good, does that count?
Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem – Depends on who I’m with. I am shy at the best of times.
B-Cup size minimum - Yep.
Clean – As in showers, STDs, mental health records?
Casual – Clothing - yes. Sex - no.
Not Crazy or Abusive – Myo inositol. But that's more of a supplement. The anti-anxiety portion is a bonus.
Make-up – If I must.
Well-Informed/Expert in sex – That's private. Get to know me more first!


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## Rio (Oct 16, 2015)

Oh  this thread is pretty old. Ah well I'll have a go as well.

*21-29 years old *
23, check.

*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT*
ehhh, people tell me I'm cute, so let's go with that I guess?

*Education: High School Graduate or Better*
Check, university educated.

*Not a SMOKER *
check

*Carefree/Lighthearted *
hmm, depends I guess. I can get pretty worried about things.

*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart *
Average intelligence I guess?

*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem *
Not really. I'm talkative to people I know, but I'm also kinda shy.

*Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) *
Skinny, check.

*Brunette or Blond hair*
golden almost strawberry-ish blonde, so check.

*B-Cup size minimum *
nnnnnope. Flat as a board.

*Clean *
ya. Hygiene's important. I love that Chris of all people put this one in there though.

*Casual *
I guess?

*Not Crazy or Abusive*
Check

*Make-up *
I have worn it, and still do sometimes, but I guess it's not really a habit.

*Well-Informed/Expert in sex*
not really lol. I'm pretty innocent


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## TheMightyMonarch (Oct 16, 2015)

I mixed up both lists. 
*
21-29 years old *
24

*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT*
People have told me that I'm attractive

*Education: High School Graduate or Better*
Graduated High School. Still working on B.A

*Not a SMOKER *
Unless 420 counts....
*
Carefree/Lighthearted *
Lol no. I always find something to stress about. 

*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart *
I like to think I'm at least somewhat intelligent.

*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem *
Yeahhhh no.

*Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) *
I'm pretty thin.

*Brunette or Blond hair*
Brunette

*B-Cup size minimum *
Check

*Clean *
As a whistle
*
Casual *
In what way?

*Not Crazy or Abusive*
Define crazy? Just kidding. I consider myself rather normal. 

*Make-up *
You bet!

*Well-Informed/Expert in sex*
Not a virgin but haven't had sex in a few years. 

*Boyfriend-Free*
Yes

*White*
Mhmmm

*5' or Taller*
About 5'2"

*No Smoking or Drinking*
Love my booze

*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area*
Try California

*Has Own Car*
Nope

*Average to High Income*
Broke as a joke

*Happy, Positive, Caring*
*Shakes head*
*
No Children from Previous Relationships*
Nope
*
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)*
Not a spreg


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## Save Goober (Oct 16, 2015)

*21-29 years old *
Yes

*Cute, Beautiful, Pretty, or HOT*
I think so

*Education: High School Graduate or Better*
Graduated college

*Not a SMOKER *
X I occasionally smoke, and I drink a lot
*
Carefree/Lighthearted *
Yeah, pretty much

*Moderate to Very Intelligent/Smart *
Yeah, I'm pretty smart

*Talkative/Outgoing/Not Shy/Good Self-Esteem *
More or less, I wouldn't say I'm super outgoing but I can hold a conversation. Sometimes I have low self esteem

*Slim to Average body type (Under 170 pounds) *
Relatively thin

*Brunette or Blond hair*
He means naturally, right? If not, no

*B-Cup size minimum *
Yeah

*Clean *
I shower everyday if that's what he means
*
Casual *
I guess?

*Not Crazy or Abusive*
I'm an alcoholic, I dunno if that counts as "crazy" but definitely not abusive

*Make-up *
Yep

*Well-Informed/Expert in sex*
I guess?

*Boyfriend-Free*
X 

*White*
Racist question

*5' or Taller*
Yep

*Lives in Charlottesville or Ruckersville Area*
X Nope and never want to

*Has Own Car*
Yep

*Average to High Income*
Yeah

*Happy, Positive, Caring*
X No, kinda, mostly
*
No Children from Previous Relationships*
No
*
No Autism (High-Functioning or Otherwise)*
Not autistic


----------

