# Ralph's Height



## Gilbert Grape (Mar 30, 2021)

In last night's Killstream, Ralph stated that he is about 5'9 with some sound logic to go with it using comparative heights with his peers.









						Ralph vs Digi saga...Ralph Explains his Side of this nonesense
					






					www.youtube.com
				




I believe Ralph. Can anyone prove me wrong? There's been a lot of talk and memes with you lot, but do you have any undeniable proof to settle it once and for all?


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## RichardRApe (Mar 30, 2021)

Gilbert Grape said:


> I believe Ralph. Can anyone prove me wrong?


Digitroon's boyfriend Byrd is 5'9 and he was head and shoulders towering over him. Ethan Ralph is 5'1 no matter how much he gas lights you.


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## Gilbert Grape (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Digitroon's boyfriend Byrd is 5'9 and he was head and shoulders towering over him. Ethan Ralph is 5'1 no matter how much he gas lights you.


Byrd looks to be way past 6 foot. You can tell with the size of his limbs relative to torso or head. He looks like he has whatever Lincoln and Phelps had.

what's your source on Byrd's height?


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## RichardRApe (Mar 30, 2021)

Gilbert Grape said:


> Byrd looks to be way past 6 foot. You can tell with the size of his limbs relative to torso or head. He looks like he has whatever Lincoln and Phelps had.


Ethan Ralph is 5'1, sorry bud. Never meet your heroes.


Edit: I bet Dick Molesterpedo is 7'1 to be literally 1 and a half foot taller than Ralph.


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## Keranu (Mar 30, 2021)

No.

Nick Fuentes is like 5'8". At the very most 5"9". But very possibly 5'7".

Ralph is noticably shorter than Fuentes. In the AFPAC photo, Ralph seems closer in height to Michelle Malkin even.

Riley seemed maybe an inch shorter than Ralph. But also note that Ralph was wearing flip flops and Riley was hunched down in a fighting position.

Not to mention a kiwi once calculated Ralph's height using a vape for reference. I think he was determined to be around 5'5".

On top of all that, Ralph admitted the other day that he used to lie and say he was 5'10". For that and a plethora of other reasons, his testimony is about as reliable as a 2012 Dodge Dart.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

I guess you could use the Knoxville picture with CRP as a scale? This is if you take Dax at his word.



			https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/8rehyl/how_tall_is_dick/
		


Dax says he's an even 6 feet tall.


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## Gilbert Grape (Mar 30, 2021)

He said he added an inch to make it 5'10. Lots of cope but no proof.


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## Keranu (Mar 30, 2021)

Gilbert Grape said:


> He said he added an inch to make it 5'10. Lots of cope but no proof.


I have to trust the Laudan County police stating on official documents that Ralph is five foot, one inch tall.


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## byuu (Mar 30, 2021)

He's 5'9 if Ralph lies on his back and you measure the height of his protruding gunt.


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## ClipBitch (Mar 30, 2021)

The average door height in america is 4'1. 

As you can see in this image, with him nearly at the top of the door even while hunched over, this would put him squarely around 3'6.


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## Randy Lahey (Mar 30, 2021)

He’s 6’4 if he’s on his back because of the gunt. 4’11 if standing up.


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## Fslur (Mar 30, 2021)

@aediot you met him irl how tall would you estimate Ralph to be?

Ok going back to a 2016 post made by Ralph, he said in jail they confirmed he was 5’8




Fast-forward to this 2018 post Ralph says he is 5’10 and provides a receipt


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## Pale Empress (Mar 30, 2021)

If Ethan is shorter than Fuentes, then he is fucking teensy-weensy.






(Edit: allegedly Alex is 5'10, and my first cap is from some anglo scum, but I've got to press X and say Alex Jones is optimistically 5'8 at best given the footage I've seen of him).


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## FuzzMushr00m (Mar 30, 2021)

Pale Empress said:


> If Ethan is shorter than Fuentes, then he is fucking teensy-weensy.
> 
> View attachment 2041937
> 
> View attachment 2041945View attachment 2041946


That's a different Alex Jones, Nick's Alex Jones is around 5'9


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

FuzzMushr00m said:


> That's a different Alex Jones, Nick's Alex Jones is around 5'9


Plus Fuentes' pompadour adds like 1-1.5 inches in this case.


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## Earthworm Foucault (Mar 30, 2021)

I actually have a friend who met Ralph at CPAC who is about 5'7 and from pics you can see they are of comparable height, if Ethan says he's 5'8 I'd say that's probably not too far off. I imagine he looks wayyy shorter because of 1. his really fucked up body fat distribution and body proportions (those T-rex arms and boulder head specifically) that makes him look like a giant toddler, and 2. I bet that dude has fucking horrible posture from sitting down all day.


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## Fslur (Mar 30, 2021)

Earthworm Foucault said:


> I actually have a friend who met Ralph at CPAC who is about 5'7 and from pics you can see they are of comparable height, if Ethan says he's 5'8 I'd say that's probably not too far off. I imagine he looks wayyy shorter because of 1. his really fucked up body fat distribution and body proportions (those T-rex arms and boulder head specifically) that makes him look like a giant toddler, and 2. I bet that dude has fucking horrible posture from sitting down all day.


Kearsten (pinecone) chick said Andy was 5’7/5’8 there is no way Ralph is close to that


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## Keranu (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Ethan Ralph is 5'1, sorry bud. Never meet your heroes.
> View attachment 2041908
> Edit: I bet Dick Molesterpedo is 7'1 to be literally 1 and a half foot taller than Ralph.


Oh take a look at this sweet moment of history. 2018, the year Ralph still currently lives in. It's Knoxville, he's with his recently adoptive father Daddy Dax Herrera, and his dear friends Andy Warski and Coach Red Pill -- surely people he would never have a falling out with.

Look at the ecstatic joy on his face. Life couldn't possibly be any grander. Let us embrace this moment on the Killstream time and time again, night after night. Can you remember Knoxville, Andy?


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

Fslur said:


> Kearsten (pinecone) chick said Andy was 5’7/5’8 there is no way Ralph is close to that View attachment 2041970


I miss this look for Warski because he looks like a mini-Atilla.


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## genericwhitemale (Mar 30, 2021)

Getting flashbacks:


			https://youtu.be/uCndAq7izsc


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## A Welsh Cake (Mar 30, 2021)

Dinosaurs are usually measured in metres not feet.


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## DrLittleDo (Mar 30, 2021)

Gunter is a half midget... atleast he looks like one on all picture.


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## aediot (Mar 30, 2021)

Fslur said:


> @aediot you met him irl how tall would you estimate Ralph to be?
> 
> Ok going back to a 2016 post made by Ralph, he said in jail they confirmed he was 5’8View attachment 2041932
> 
> ...



If I remember right he was a little shorter than me but not by super much 

(I'm at about 5'10)


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

aediot said:


> If I remember right he was a little shorter than me but not by super much
> 
> (I'm at about 5'10)


Okay, so let's operate on the claim Dick Masterson says that he is 6' even and not lying, taking the infamous picture as a scale:




Camera angles may be deceiving but that seems like at like 3 inches separate from crown to crown (assuming Ralph wasn't on his tippy-toes or something). 

Two things: 1) I'm willing concede that he is at a modest-to less than modest height, which would categorically also make Riley taller by these measures and 2) it doesn't really matter if he's a legal midget or not, the fact that this accusation bothers him to no end and is his hot trigger button to send him into a drunken rage to fight some other fat guy is funny enough as it is. 

I couldn't give a shit if he is or isn't allowed to ride the rollercoaster at Disneyland or whatever. It's enough to spark white trash fury in him regardless.


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## The Demon Baby (Mar 30, 2021)

Ralph is verifiably 2 Rogans tall.





						Urban Dictionary: Rogans Tall
					

A unit of measure to explain the height of men. Men above 8 Rogans Tall often use this UOM without shame, men under 8 Rogans Tall are offended by this term as it means they have to get their fancy pants hemmed by their mom or grandmother.




					www.urbandictionary.com


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

5' 9" implies he's as tall as Boogie, which is obviously bullshit. Seeing as the average house door is at least 6 feet, and Ralph conveniently has his fatass under one, a viewer can see that this claim is dubious at best, and there was at least a foot of head space.

Even if we ignore the police report, Riley's height is a way to gauge Ralph's (they're around the same height).

Attached two height and body studies I worked on yesterday just to prove I put some thought into this.


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## The Demon Baby (Mar 30, 2021)

Ralph could very easily settle this once and for all by getting a neutral third party to measure him on a livestream.  He won't do this because he is a midget-tier faggot, and all it would do is prove how short he actually is.

We need someone with shoop skills to make some jpegs of Warski as Legolas and Ralph as Gimli.


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## AltisticRight (Mar 30, 2021)

His height is about three times the length


Fslur said:


> @aediot you met him irl how tall would you estimate Ralph to be?
> 
> Ok going back to a 2016 post made by Ralph, he said in jail they confirmed he was 5’8View attachment 2041932
> 
> ...


5'10'' is only true if he was lying down.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> 5' 9" implies he's as tall as Boogie, which is obviously bullshit. Seeing as the average house door is at least 6 feet, and Ralph conveniently has his fatass under one, a viewer can see that this claim is dubious at best, and there was at least a foot of head space.
> 
> Even if we ignore the police report, Riley's height is a way to gauge Ralph's (they're around the same height).
> 
> ...


Dude just stop. I know you mean well but these photoshops don't mean shit. Try a different angle. 

What's next, we're going to average the diameter of a normal grain of sand then calculate by comparison when he was passed out on the beach, drunk and grizzled, to ascertain what his height might be vis-a-vie Florida sand? 

To Riley: someone mentioned it earlier and I agree, just measure yourself. You already like humiliation and negative attention so why is this a problem for you to admit you're a womanlet in a manlet's body? 

At least provide us some context, Riley. And no, unless Spectre wants to pay for that raw footage, I doubt any dipshit will give you the money you want for that. Most people care less and less by the day. Be sure to record your calls with Dax, I'm sure uploading those might be fun to hear later down the line. Scumbag.


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## Mr. Manchester (Mar 30, 2021)

I think it's important to note that Ralph is a hunchback and his posture is akin to a orangutan or something. My hypotheses is that Ralph stands a mighty 5'6" when his back straight and his chin is up, like when an officer of the law measures you.  However, Ralph shrinks to his normal 5'1" or smaller as his gunt pulls down on his chin while his fat-hump pushes his head forward.


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## Never Scored (Mar 30, 2021)

Riley claimed to be 231 pounds in a Twitter post in the other thread:

He also has a clearly visible gunt.  I'm around 5'10" and maybe 220, (I don't weigh myself often because I'm not a fucking woman), and have nothing approaching what Riley has going on with his gunt. No way Riley is over 5'5" if he's 231 pounds. I'd say Ralph is 5'5", 5'6" tops based on that.

Remember that most men try to fudge their height up a bit because women find taller guys attractive. I have seen guys my height claim to be six feet tall and I am certainly not six feet tall. Dick is image obsessed and is 110% the kind of guy that fudges his height by a couple inches. I'd say it's more like Dax is 5'10" or 5'11" and Ralph is 4-5 inches shorter. Dick could be leaning a bit in the pic above to make it look like it's closer to 2-3 inches, but no way Ralph is taller than 5'6".

Tldr:
Dick -5'10"-5'11"
Ralph- 5'5"-5'6"
Riley- 5'4"-5'5"


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## Berb (Mar 30, 2021)

Fuentes is 5'7" and he towers over Ralph. My guess is Ralph is 5"3 or 5"4. It'll forever be a mystery unless some employee of a liquor store or gas station in the area with the measurements on the door can give us security footage of him in the wild.


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## Dick Molesterson (Mar 30, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> Okay, so let's operate on the claim Dick Masterson says that he is 6' even and not lying.




Looks like Dax is telling the truth.


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## b0o0pinsn0o0tz (Mar 30, 2021)

Until I see the greasy gunted faggot with my own eyes I will have no reason not to believe he's a three foot tall hobbit.


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> Dude just stop. I know you mean well but these photoshops don't mean shit. Try a different angle.


First, rude. Second, fair.

I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.

Let's take that photo you shared. This one:






Using the environment and the floor boards, I was able to find a consistent vanishing point and a 1 point perspective composition. This is not enough to determine the height of anyone, or even where the ground plane is. Therefore, I'll have to commit to one person, and use their leg and foot position to figure that out.



I'll be using Dick Masterson. Dick, unlike Ralph ,or I assume the other two in that picture, has been outside with other people so I can make a good, accurate, comparison. Dick says on Reddit that he's 6', and this can be corroborated with this picture of Dick and Mike Cernovich, who's reported as 6'.



That out of the way, still no feet or full leg shots. That's fine. There are many ways to go about this, but I decided to use another person who: 1. Has been pictured with Dick and 2. has many full body shots since he was in a lawsuit before.

Count Dankula





Im using this photo because it's fairly level with a one point perspective angle, close to the perspective of the photo  @TriggerMeElmo presented. Issue is Dankula's height isn't well known. That's fine as well.

Here's a photo of Dankula with Dick that I chose; 1. because it's one of those arms around the shoulders shots and 2. it's a level photo with little to no depth change.






Using the outline of full body Dankula and forming that outline to match that of the photo to the right ( obviously without stretching it out vertically), we're able to ground Dankula in a way that's parallel to Dick's shoulders. That's enough to go back to the original photo.



After isolating just Dick and Dank, then matching Dick's shoulders with the original Dick (head position isn't as important in this case, but, yes, it's weirdly wide for a head), we're able to ground Dankula in @TriggerMeElmo 's photo, meaning that now we have a ground plane to work with.





You might be asking: "Owls you retard, Dick's legs will be too short and stubby. This is clearly a shit way to determine Dick's position to the ground."

Truth is, Dick's legs are short and stubby; his 6' height is all torso. Evidenced by this photo



There's also a video of him playing mini golf on Instagram that proves his Short leg energy

What's excellent about this photo is that his right leg is very straight, making height analysis really convenient. Let's outline that lovely leg.



We go back, size the leg to match the original's thigh and angle, and we have dick's right leg in a 1 point perspective perspective plane.

Then taking a PNG of a ruler (rulers are 12 inches), you can stack six of them, scale it down, and smack that stack next to Dick and his leg. Rulers are great, because you cant fudge a ruler's measurements.

Obviously, Dick is leaning down slightly with his right shoulder skewed to accommodate for his short goblin friend, Ralph, and his other short friend, but that ruler pile should be 6 feet in that picture in perspective.





Great thing about one point perspective is you can accurately scale objects easily and move them around so you can get heights of things from different depths.



This would be enough for any dedicated enough Gunt fan to find his gross stick legs, transpose them into perspective in this photo, then determine his height accurately enough using the rulers. But since @TriggerMeElmo seems fixated on whether Ethan Gunt Ralph is on his tippy toes, we'd have to do a bit more work.

Unfortunately, I do not know who that person in the right is, so I can't find pictures of him and his legs (or a full body shot.) This would be great information to have, since he seems grounded really well.

However, for the sake of some closure, I can make a good guess using what I learned watching Ethan fight Riley yesterday. You might think I'd do the due diligence of find full body shots of Ethan outside of that grainy fight, but I'm physically repulsed by him.

Here's my approximation of Gunt's legs. This particular angle is great since it shows his gross stick legs, and they haven't thickened up with his gunt. His exact hip position is shown too, meaning I can figure out where to put them no matter what angle.





Understanding the proportions of his leg now, we can draw them in perspective knowing where they're attached to on his gunt hips. Knowing that I can't physically lower the legs without them literally dislocating, I can confirm to @TriggerMeElmo that, yes. He was on his tippy toes taking that photo.



Using the ruler, we can basically take its height, move right next to Ethan, and determine his height.
Despite the tippy toe increase, I can conclude that Ethan Ralph is still 5 foot 5 inches.

However, knowing that tippy toe increase is approximately half your foot length, then measuring that out (which by my approximation is 3 inches):





So in conclusion: Ralph is 5' 2", probably wears pumps, and is a liar.

Edit: Fun fact: Dankula is 5' 4"


Get fucked @TriggerMeElmo


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## MeltyTW (Mar 30, 2021)

Fslur said:


> Fast-forward to this 2018 post Ralph says he is 5’10 and provides a receipt


my dmv just asked me what height i was so i wouldnt really take that as proof whatsoever without at least a video of him showing it to prove it isnt photoshopepd AND video of himself being measured by them



PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


is ralph ever going to learn huffing and puffing and being a white nigger and demanding csi evidence for even small height claims of a petty nature is just going to backfire and create cultures dedicated to fucking with him?


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## Vetti (Mar 30, 2021)

I'm going to assume Franchesca Ramsey is wearing heels here, but based off of where their shoulders lie, she probably would have an inch or two on Warski without them. I'll pin him as 5'8 ish, and he has a few inches on Ralph, who I figure in boots is 5'6 and about 5'5 barefoot.

Really you niggas just need to use your eyes. When Ralph is on the street with a random assortment of people, you almost never see somebody shorter than him, but he's tall enough to (hypothetically) function in society.
Edit: Started composing this before owls post and got btfo'd.


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## The Demon Baby (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


Holy fuck.  This is top-tier autism, my friend.  I am awe-struck.  Well done.


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## Lifeguard Hermit (Mar 30, 2021)

@PlasticOwls,
you magnificent autist you.

It would make sense that he's standing on his tip toes bc he would have to in order to maintain the neo-bro hug he gives everyone. I wonder if everyone just constantly CARRIES THAT GUNT in these photos when they feel the manlet lever himself up on their shoulders.


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## Mr. Manchester (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


S-so this the power of Kiwi Farms?!


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

Mr. Manchester said:


> S-so this the power of Kiwi Farms?!


This is the power of knowing 1st point perspective and photoshop. Kiwi Farms don't have nothing on that PNG magic


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


I'm humbled and flattered. I truly feel like a real Kiwi now that you took the effort to discredit my posturing. The man on the right is Coach Redpill if you'd like to follow up with an addendum to show others how wrong I really am about a manchild's height.


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## Ulkesh (Mar 30, 2021)

Dick Molesterson said:


> View attachment 2042438View attachment 2042439
> 
> Looks like Dax is telling the truth.


On an unrelated note, that is the gayest photo I have ever seen.


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## Vetti (Mar 30, 2021)

What I want is for someone to approach Ralph at an IRL meetup and sneak measure him, like people did with comedian, Dave Landau.


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## MeltyTW (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> This is the power of knowing 1st point perspective and photoshop. Kiwi Farms don't have nothing on that PNG magic


where were you when we were all arguing about vape pen graphs?


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> where were you when we were all arguing about vape pen graphs?


Probably vaping too.


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## RichardRApe (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.


Top-tier, this approximation puts him at 4'11 before he puts on his booster shoes.


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## TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo (Mar 30, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 4’9” tall. I also estimate he wears a child’s size 10 shoe judging by the size of his freakishly diminuitive penis.


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## MeltyTW (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Top-tier, this approximation puts him at 4'11 before he puts on his booster shoes.
> 
> View attachment 2042594


so there might come a time when ralph actually has to lie and brag about even being 5'1? holy shit what a short gunted pos how has he not committed suicide?


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Top-tier, this approximation puts him at 4'11 before he puts on his booster shoes.


That's if we knew what type of booster shoe he'd use. The ones that give you an extra inch are like pumps, and won't benefit from the tiptoe height boost.

The normal kind only add a half inch the most, and look like cleats. The fact that Ethan came to fight Riley in fucking flip flops tell me he isn't the type that likes tying shoes, but that's my assumption.


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## Mr. Manchester (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> That's if we knew what type of booster shoe he'd use. The ones that give you an extra inch are like pumps, and won't benefit from the tiptoe height boost.
> 
> The normal kind only add a half inch the most, and look like cleats. The fact that Ethan came to fight Riley in fucking flip flops tell me he isn't the type that likes tying shoes, but that's my assumption.


I don't think it's so much that he dislikes tying his shoes, I'm just not so sure reaching them is too easy.  Giant gunt + tiny arms and all.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> The normal kind only add a half inch the most, and look like cleats. The fact that Ethan came to fight Riley in fucking flip flops tell me he isn't the type that likes tying shoes, but that's my assumption.


That part is pretty much confirmed because during some of IRL protest streams he was seen wearing Timbalands but not lacing his boots. Slip-ons or velcro seems more suited to his "on-the-go" style.


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## Fslur (Mar 30, 2021)

Vetti said:


> View attachment 2042482
> View attachment 2042483
> I'm going to assume Franchesca Ramsey is wearing heels here, but based off of where their shoulders lie, she probably would have an inch or two on Warski without them. I'll pin him as 5'8 ish, and he has a few inches on Ralph, who I figure in boots is 5'6 and about 5'5 barefoot.
> 
> ...


See only men lie about their height and Warski had been lying saying he is 5’10/5’11.

 If the guy is under 6’0 the general rule is to subtract 2 inches and it’s probably his height.

Putting Andy at 5’8 makes sense imo putting Ralph (now that he keeps saying 5’8/5’9) at 5’6 is probably the most accurate. Putting Riley at 5’5 or 5’4.


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

Fslur said:


> See only men lie about their height and Warski had been lying saying he is 5’10/5’11.
> 
> If the guy is under 6’0 the general rule is to subtract 2 inches and it’s probably his height.
> 
> Putting Andy at 5’8 makes sense imo putting Ralph (now that he keeps saying 5’8/5’9) at 5’6 is probably the most accurate. Putting Riley at 5’5 or 5’4.


Did you not see my essay-long proof that Ralph is a 5' 2" manlet, while also generalizing an entire gender?

Real talk though, Riley being 5' 4" makes sense. Riley and Ralph were around the same height when fighting yesterday.


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## Spectre_06 (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Digitroon's boyfriend Byrd is 5'9 and he was head and shoulders towering over him. Ethan Ralph is 5'1 no matter how much he gas lights you.


He's a solid 4'9".  He added a 1 somewhere but it isn't where people think.


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## Vetti (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> Real talk though, Riley being 5' 4" makes sense. Riley and Ralph were around the same height when fighting yesterday.


Since you brought this up, would anyone happen to have Ralph's StoryFire videos he recorded with Digibro's crew? There may be a shot where Riley and Ralph are both standing tall, no fighter stance or whatever.


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## Sam Losco (Mar 30, 2021)

I agree with @Vetti that he's probably around 5'5". Doesn't really matter though, the only reason anyone cares is because calling him 5'1"/5'2" triggers him. That's why he's really 4'9".


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## Vetti (Mar 30, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> That's why he's really 4'9".


I know he's not really that small but he does have a DeVito esque torso proportion. Really makes you think.


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## FuzzMushr00m (Mar 30, 2021)

DO I LOOK 5'1 BITCH?


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## The Demon Baby (Mar 30, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Top-tier, this approximation puts him at 4'11 before he puts on his booster shoes.
> 
> View attachment 2042594





Fslur said:


> See only men lie about their height and Warski had been lying saying he is 5’10/5’11.
> 
> If the guy is under 6’0 the general rule is to subtract 2 inches and it’s probably his height.
> 
> Putting Andy at 5’8 makes sense imo putting Ralph (now that he keeps saying 5’8/5’9) at 5’6 is probably the most accurate. Putting Riley at 5’5 or 5’4.





PlasticOwls said:


> Did you not see my essay-long proof that Ralph is a 5' 2" manlet, while also generalizing an entire gender?
> 
> Real talk though, Riley being 5' 4" makes sense. Riley and Ralph were around the same height when fighting yesterday.





Sam Losco said:


> I agree with @Vetti that he's probably around 5'5". Doesn't really matter though, the only reason anyone cares is because calling him 5'1"/5'2" triggers him. That's why he's really 4'9".



You guys all forgot to add Kurt Angle to the mix.


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## PlasticOwls (Mar 30, 2021)

The Demon Baby said:


> You guys all forgot to add Kurt Angle to the mix.


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## 66andtwothirds (Mar 30, 2021)

The Demon Baby said:


> You guys all forgot to add Kurt Angle to the mix.


the promo that gave me my username.


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## Gilbert Grape (Mar 30, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


Aaannd this is why I made the thread. Good work.


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## Absurdity (Mar 30, 2021)

Amazing analysis! I'm even more horrified than I was before.


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## Lame Entropy (Mar 31, 2021)

Lmao and this wigga claims to be 5'8". He can't even lie well, he could maybe get away with telling people he's 5'5" but adding 7-8 inches? nah.


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## Henry Wentworth Akeley (Mar 31, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


You are a true hero; this is a level of autism I greatly appreciate.


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## The Demon Baby (Mar 31, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> View attachment 2043158





66andtwothirds said:


> the promo that gave me my username.


The numbers don't lie.


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## MeltyTW (Mar 31, 2021)

Lame Entropy said:


> Lmao and this wigga claims to be 5'8". He can't even lie well, he could maybe get away with telling people he's 5'5" but adding 7-8 inches? nah.


i think the average is 5'7 so this fucking wigger pos thought people would believe hes one inch taller than the average even with his irl streams that seem to be from the pov of a damned smurf


----------



## Gilbert Grape (Apr 4, 2021)

Okay spergs even Josh says he is around 5'6. @PlasticOwls why don't you just take a shot from the Riley fight and compare Ralph to the door frame?


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Apr 4, 2021)

Gilbert Grape said:


> Okay spergs even Josh says he is around 5'6. @PlasticOwls why don't you just take a shot from the Riley fight and compare Ralph to the door frame?


This in no way discounts my hunchback theory.


----------



## Gilbert Grape (Apr 4, 2021)

> This in no way discounts my hunchback theory.



For sure. Ever seen a profile pic of ANY morbidly obese person? Their necks and upper backs are at like a 75 degree angle to their lower back.


----------



## Keranu (Apr 4, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


Now THIS is effort posting. God bless your aspergers, sir!


----------



## Roman Gunt Guard (Apr 4, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


Don't we already know Ralph's height because of his arrest records anyways?


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 4, 2021)

Roman Gunt Guard said:


> Don't we already know Ralph's height because of his arrest records anyways?


The arrest record wasn't enough for Ralph to come clean, and he kept trying to say otherwise, then demanded proof he was that short.



Gilbert Grape said:


> Okay spergs even Josh says he is around 5'6. @PlasticOwls why don't you just take a shot from the Riley fight and compare Ralph to the door frame?





Mr. Manchester said:


> This in no way discounts my hunchback theory.





Gilbert Grape said:


> For sure. Ever seen a profile pic of ANY morbidly obese person? Their necks and upper backs are at like a 75 degree angle to their lower back.


That's under the assumption the person has an actual neck of a long length, and Ralph's neck and posture doesnt suggest he's physically hunched to seem 4 inches shorter.

You would have to be cartoonishly hunched back like the Hunchback from the Disney movie for that to work


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 4, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> First, rude. Second, fair.
> 
> I can prove that Ralph is around 5' 2", give or take an inch though.
> 
> ...


Great work, this post has a high purity in autism. However, to set the record straight, I'll do a little "peer review", I'll use a similar method but with different sources.


----------



## byuu (Apr 4, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> i think the average is 5'7


Only in manlet cope land.


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 4, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Great work, this post has a high purity in autism. However, to set the record straight, I'll do a little "peer review", I'll use a similar method but with different sources.


As long as the word is spread about the true height of Gunt, and people work towards the truth, the world is better off.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 4, 2021)

garakfan69 said:


> Only in manlet cope land.


ah google tells me its 5'9 actually, which ralph has lied about being before lmfao


----------



## Bogen (Apr 4, 2021)

He's obviously 6'5"





Tardski claims he is 5'11" and The Gunt towers over him as you can see








So case closed..... As long as Tardski didn't lie about his height. Good thing he is known for not telling lies.


----------



## Shiggy Diggster (Apr 4, 2021)

Bogen said:


> He's obviously 6'5"
> 
> View attachment 2058126
> 
> ...


Ralph has the legs and feet of an 80 year old woman from a nursing home dementia unit.


----------



## Bogen (Apr 4, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> Ralph has the legs and feet of an 80 year old woman from a nursing home dementia unit.


You leave those legs alone. They work hard to carry the gunt around.


----------



## Blackhole (Apr 4, 2021)

he's not a goblin
he's not a elf
he's a GNOME
and you've just been...GUNTGNOMED


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 4, 2021)

Here's what I've attempted. Using screenshots from here:




There's an abundance of geometry in this short clip, where the pig does a guntball.



The goal here is to map the pig head onto the patio umbrella at the back, which are typically 9-10 feet. I've seen massive ones that are more than 15 feet tall, but this aint one of those expensive boutiques. The total height of the patio umbrella raised above the ground by the table is illustrated as a red bar. 

The umbrella is on the same plane as the entire building, making it easy to determine vanishing point and converging lines.




The pig does his seismic bounce, the vanishing points are determined there and intersects at some point.




Using that, the pig's head is now compared to the rod of 275-305 cm:



So the pig head is 27.4~30.5cm, taking 10 as the stacked heads.

Now all we have to do is copy pig heads to match the gunt's height. Around 5.5.



So that's 150.7~167.75cm, or 4'11 to 5'6. 5'1 doesn't seem too implausible, though it's on the lower side.

An easier way to verify would require the utilisation of the white fence. Maybe someone can find the height of it from online photos at different hours, using the shadows casted, or just go there and measure it (gunt's hotel was doxxxed during Tampa). Gunt is on the approximate plane of the fence, so this guestimate would work.

Likewise, this would work too:



The gunt got doXxed here because of a rather unique painting, which is framed. Using the bottles in the foreground with known dimensions, one can easily determine his height.


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 4, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Here's what I've attempted. Using screenshots from here:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You're a madlad  to and use three-point perspective to try and figure out Ralph's height.

One way to resolve ambiguity would be to call the hotel, and ask the exact kind of patio umbrellas they use. This seems crucial, since it's the linchpin to your whole study. You can also use @TriggerMeElmo 's photo to measure out Ralph's head.

The only other issue I see is that you're using Ralph as he's cannonballing into the water in silhouette. This is a pretty iffy position to measure height since the way the body contorts has a lot to do with torso to leg proportion and posture. If Ethan didnt balloon so rapidly and erratically, or this was at daytime, you couldve just broken down the still image and reconstricted his body in upright position.

Ethan in video is a smart new direction to go about doing this though! He really doesnt like being in photos, but he's way more on camera.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 4, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> You're a madlad  to and use three-point perspective to try and figure out Ralph's height.
> 
> One way to resolve ambiguity would be to call the hotel, and ask the exact kind of patio umbrellas they use. This seems crucial, since it's the linchpin to your whole study. You can also use @TriggerMeElmo 's photo to measure out Ralph's head.
> 
> ...





This one seems like a very decent candidate too, the height of those orange traffic bollards are pretty much known, the walkway will allow one to measure whatever they want in the scene by creating a grid. 



18-19 inches is my guess. Diameter of average car wheels is 18 inches, the wheel here is on a different plane.


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 4, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2058351
> This one seems like a very decent candidate too, the height of those orange traffic bollards are pretty much known, the walkway will allow one to measure whatever they want in the scene by creating a grid.
> 
> View attachment 205836118-19 inches is my guess. Diameter of average car wheels is 18 inches, the wheel here is on a different plane.


bit busy today, but I'll do you a solid, and turn Ralph's position upright and manipulate the photo's camera angle to something more level and even.

Good luck to all Gunt height fact checkers.


----------



## Insanely Retarded (Apr 4, 2021)

From the main Ralph thread. Ralph lying about his height many times over the years, each time saying something different:


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 4, 2021)

Lmao he seriously claims to be 5'10"?  Yeah he may choose to lie about being exactly 5'1" and get the benefit of the doubt, at least before massive autism proved otherwise, but this motherfucker is no 5'10".


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 4, 2021)

LOL at 5'11". That must have been the days before anyone really knew what he looked like and he could get away with adding that much height to the truth.


----------



## Thomas Highway (Apr 4, 2021)

Ralph is short white trash.


----------



## HackerX (Apr 5, 2021)

Do you think he realizes the optics of losing his shit any and every time his height is brought up?
Like bro, you could be 6'9", but if you tard rage every time someone says you're 5'1", people are gonna do it.  It also doesn't help the only legal document including his height is fucking 5'1".


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 5, 2021)

HackerX said:


> Do you think he realizes the optics of losing his shit any and every time his height is brought up?
> Like bro, you could be 6'9", but if you tard rage every time someone says you're 5'1", people are gonna do it.  It also doesn't help the only legal document including his height is fucking 5'1".


And we have people whose height is known standing next to him and he's obviously a manlet standing directly next to them.  He's just shy of being a literal midget.  He's practically fatter than he is tall.


----------



## Hüftpriester (Apr 5, 2021)

Now that we're on the topic of manlet Andy's height, let's look to the Octagon in Knoxville for a more realistic perspective since we know it's a flat surface unlike that sidewalk picture.

Andy doesn't seem to be much taller than this woman, not sure who she is but she seems petite to me. Sad.



Here it looks like Ralph and Tardski are roughly the same height. Also note Dick's creepy FTM energy, fucking weirdo.



I think it's fair to assume that as the Gunt grows more powerful, Ralph gets shorter. I'd guess he's probably around 5'2" by now and will be 5'0" by the end of 2023.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 5, 2021)

This is a simple tutorial on how to use Photoshop tools to find the height of a person, matched against an object or person with a known height or the very least, a good range. The estimate is rough depending on the quality of the source image and skill of the person.

*Note: All the "clicking" here will be left click, unless otherwise stated!*

Requirements:
- Photoshop
- Clear photo with geometry

Overhead:
- It might be necessary to straighten the subject through photo manipulation, this isn't exactly trivial
- Comparisons must be made on the same plane, because of perspective distortion
- Remember to save progress (shift+ctrl+s, as psd), especially if you're using a pirated copy of the software.

Issues:
- Shit smartphone lenses have distortion, typically slight barrel distortion for mid-range ones (not a big deal) and heavy pincushion distortion for wide angle lenses. This must be corrected and can be very difficult if the phone model is unknown. My suggestion is to move on to a different photo, avoid the modern "wide angle" type shots.
- Fisheye photos can't be (easily) used

Source image:




Angle corrected by @PlasticOwls




Image analysis:
Remember, we want clean and good geometry.
- Pathway with gridded tiles
- Traffic bollards with typical height of 18-20 inches
- Car wheels with typical diameter of 18 inches (regulated)
- Background buildings, the yellow umbrellas and green roof
- Clear vanishing point at the pig's head
- Trees planted in approximate lines
- Electricity poles
- Gunt appears taller than Warski because he's closer to the camera, the two wiggers are on an angle

I'll be using the pathway, the road, and the buildings first to find a singular vanishing point.

Firstly, Ctrl+Alt+C to make the canvas larger, I put in 200%.




Create a blank layer on top of the source image:






Optional: Right click, blending options. Choose "Color Overlay", select a colour you want. This will allow the colours to be consistent and avoid the headache of changing brush colours.






Now press "P" for the pen tool. You want the first one:




Click on a spot and drag it along.




Use this to extend the line further out, or correct the position, or both. Ideally, we want it to extend all the way out so the lines are on the same plane as the fighting White niggers in public, showing the world that the word nigger is an adjective and a noun applicable to every group, not a racist slur.




Press "B" for brush, set brush size to 1-2 pixels, hardness to 100%. Click on one end of the line drawn by the pen tool.





Then go to the opposite extremity, hold shift, and click there. This will draw a nice straight line.



Now, press "P" for the pen tool again and press "Esc" several times to get rid of the previous lines, and repeat. Similar to the image above, we can see a vanishing point is converging. I like to use different layers that are colour coded for different objects because I'm autistic.






Everything along this vanishing point will have the same height. Now we need lines for an object we'd like to use. I'm using the bollards as illustrated above, with my retarded spelling error. Let's add 2 lines for each end of those bollards, using a new layer. The pen tool will be used again. Same method as previously mentioned. Now, the bollards are encapsulated. I used the top as a guide previously, so it's just one blue line. Everything along these 2 lines have the same height.






What we need to do now is some mapping, map the bollard onto the gunt in question. Our canvas is too small, so make it larger. Ctrl+Alt+C again. I put in 300% which still doesn't seem large enough, so I shift-clicked to select all layers, and dragged everything to a corner. Clicking "V" swaps to the move tool for repositioning, then ctrl+D to deselect afterwards.




We would like some guiding lines, ctrl+R creates a ruler frame. Click-drag-down on the top will bring a line down. We will encase the pig here. The bollards' guiding lines must intersect with our ruler lines. We will now use the pen too ("P") to extend the couple of existing lines. Ideally with forethought, this step should be avoided by creating a sufficiently large workspace. 


 



Using the pen anchor point tool, the line is extended and adjusted for a best fit. Hold "Alt" and use the "scroll wheel" to zoom in and out.
"Close enough", once again, "B" for brush, click on one end, shift click on the other to draw a line. Repeat for the other end of the bollard.


 



Reeeesult:



Remember how everything along these lines are of the same height? All we have to do now is draw a line perpendicular to the light blue ruler guide at the intersection, to meet the upmost line. To do this, (surprise!!!) use the pen tool, holding shift allows one to draw a line perpendicularly up.

I've created a new layer and used the brush tool to make another line, by using the same "shift-click" method. I increased the brush size a little here.






Let's draw a second line for the gunt, between the two ruler guides. Again, brush tool "shift clicking". Do this with a new layer. I used one of those vertical rulers as a guide.






Now click on "V", we can move the two lines for comparison, by "hold-clicking" on them and dragging. To make stuff neater, I created a group. Shift-click the two lines and click on that folder icon.






Click on the bollard layer, "Ctrl+J" to create a copy, we need multiples here. After the copy is made, hold "shift" and drag the new layer up, it will maintain its position on the canvas. Place it above the previous. 3 bollard lines are now stacked.






It's basically complete, all we have to do now is determining the gunt's equivalent height in measurement units of traffic bollards. We will find out the percentages with the ruler tool. Primary school level of calculations are involved.
Top of bollard: 18.6%
Top of pig: 20.4%
Bottom of bollard: 23.7%
23.7-18.6=5.1
20.4-18.6=1.8
1.8/5.1≈0.353 → 35.3%
1-35.3%=64.7%
So the gunt's height is 264.7% of a bollard.

Likewise, we can use the measurement tool if you find mathematics threatening. Right click on the bottom, above the colour patches, and choose Ruler Tool.




Hold "shift", drag up. Height of excess bollard is 56.58 pixels. It's shown as a negative here because direction is considered, we want the magnitude (absolute value).






Height of one bollard:



56.58/161.31≈35.08%
So, 3-0.3508=2.6492=264.92%
Similar to 264.7%, the result above.

What's the height of the bollard? Typically, they can be 16-25 inches. We can see it's taller than the wheels, so perhaps using wheels with known regulated diameters of 18 inches is a better choice. Anyway, it'll be easy to redo bits of this for the wheels. The height of the bollard is likely 54-62cm.




I'll redo this for the wheel later. The pig can grunt about his supposed 5'11 all he likes, these bollards are obviously not anywhere near 70cm tall.


----------



## Knight of the Rope (Apr 5, 2021)

/fit/ would be proud. Bravo, altist.


ETA: Just noticed the tutorial thread got merged into this one, so mad props to @PlasticOwls as well.


----------



## Weeb Slinger (Apr 5, 2021)

Contrary to appearances, Ralph does not ordinarily resemble a character from The _Wisdom of the Gnomes, _out for forest justice after magpies stole his fishing rod and his pointy red hat, and plucked-out his bushy beard to line their nest, while he slept.

Ralph owes his jolly disposition and his squat, gnome-like appearance (along with a host of other problems) to an alcohol-infused haze that hangs in the air around him and exerts a warping, fairground mirror effect. Those precious few who have witnessed the Gunt in the process of sobering-up, have observed his diminishing girth seemingly channelled upwards as he appears to miraculously grow several inches in height.


----------



## Never Scored (Apr 5, 2021)

I'm going to power level a little here again. Look, I am legit 5'10". I dated a girl around 15 years ago who made really good pizza and lasagna and shit, and I packed on around 40 pounds over my regular walking around weight and ballooned up to 260 for a year or so. I got really fat and my stomach stuck out, but I did not have a gunt. No way a 5'11" man has a gunt that hangs between his knees at 273 pounds. It is literally impossible he is not lying about either his height or his weight.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 5, 2021)

notice that ralph has at least tried to own a myriad of other memes, hell hes owned being a flaggot better than he has being a manlet and he literally built what could generously be called a career off of that. im beginning to think the lower estimate of 4'11 might actually unironically be the correct one. i think at this point ralph would admit to being a rapist vs being a manlet despite it literally being recorded fact by the virginia pd that hes a midget


----------



## Shiggy Diggster (Apr 5, 2021)

Never Scored said:


> I'm going to power level a little here again. Look, I am legit 5'10". I dated a girl around 15 years ago who made really good pizza and lasagna and shit, and I packed on around 40 pounds over my regular walking around weight and ballooned up to 260 for a year or so. I got really fat and my stomach stuck out, but I did not have a gunt. No way a 5'11" man has a gunt that hangs between his knees at 273 pounds. It is literally impossible he is not lying about either his height or his weight.


I had something similar happen to me when I was a Ralph tier alcoholic. 270 lbs at ~5'10" doesn't sag off your body like that. I believe the weight is probably accurate though. Even Gunt wouldn't try to sell two big lies at once, would he?


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 5, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> notice that ralph has at least tried to own a myriad of other memes, hell hes owned being a flaggot better than he has being a manlet and he literally built what could generously be called a career off of that. im beginning to think the lower estimate of 4'11 might actually unironically be the correct one. i think at this point ralph would admit to being a rapist vs being a manlet despite it literally being recorded fact by the virginia pd that hes a midget


Tbh, is it really that hard to see Ralph as anything but on the high end of 4 feet, or the low end of 5?

 I appreciate skepticism and peer review, but I'm shocked speculation is still happening.


----------



## Antarctic Hellbeast (Apr 5, 2021)

As his follower base shrinks so does his stature.


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 5, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> I had something similar happen to me when I was a Ralph tier alcoholic. 270 lbs at ~5'10" doesn't sag off your body like that. I believe the weight is probably accurate though. Even Gunt wouldn't try to sell two big lies at once, would he?


I have a theory that the gunt is actually really normal fat distribution considering the excess alcohol consumption and dietary habits, but his underdeveloped, and really short, legs and no ass, only make it seem enormous by comparison.

Either that, or just really unfortunate fat distribution and poor genetics.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 5, 2021)

Nick Gurs said:


> As his follower base shrinks so does his stature.


So at some point is he going to start screaming "I'm MEEEEEEELTING" like the Wicked Witch of the West and dissolve entirely, leaving nothing behind but the gunt?


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Apr 5, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> That part is pretty much confirmed because during some of IRL protest streams he was seen wearing Timbalands but not lacing his boots. Slip-ons or velcro seems more suited to his "on-the-go" style.


Why even wear boots at that point?


----------



## Jester69 (Apr 5, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Here's what I've attempted. Using screenshots from here:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



We've reached levels of alogging previously thought impossible! ️


----------



## jimsterlingspronoun (Apr 5, 2021)

only 5'1 does that make him officially a  midget? a guess hes not a dwarf because although he maybe an ugly fuck he isnt deformed.


----------



## SuperConglomerateWhale (Apr 5, 2021)

Keranu said:


> his testimony is about as reliable as a 2012 Dodge Dart.


A 2012 Dodge Dart is more reliable than any Paccar wiring harness that’s slapped into a Peterbilt


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 5, 2021)

jimsterlingspronoun said:


> only 5'1 does that make him officially a  midget? a guess hes not a dwarf because although he maybe an ugly fuck he isnt deformed.


The foul, wrinkled, gigantic, ball-less scrotum that is the gunt is a deformity.  It just isn't the kind that qualifies you as a dwarf.


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 5, 2021)

It looks like that Miami photo is on slopped ground and Warski is standing on ground a little lower. This Photoshop shit is above my head, so are you guys taking that into account?


----------



## Antarctic Hellbeast (Apr 5, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> So at some point is he going to start screaming "I'm MEEEEEEELTING" like the Wicked Witch of the West and dissolve entirely, leaving nothing behind but the gunt?


Then the Farms would discover that the Gunt itself is actually an alien parasite and the lolcow interpretation of "The Thing"


----------



## Colonel Collateral (Apr 5, 2021)

You'd think these retards, even with their retard brains and retard ways, would somehow, after all of this, realize that being a dumb dipshit for momentary "donations" isn't a good idea?
But they never do. It's amazing. These retards are treasures, and this horrid website is their museum.


----------



## Gravityqueen4life (Apr 5, 2021)

not even manlets are as mad about their height as ralph.


----------



## Lobster Cult High Priest (Apr 5, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> I have a theory that the gunt is actually really normal fat distribution considering the excess alcohol consumption and dietary habits, but his underdeveloped, and really short, legs and no ass, only make it seem enormous by comparison.
> 
> Either that, or just really unfortunate fat distribution and poor genetics.


Ralph inherited the best genetics from Ronnie. The bad genetics come from Sandras side


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 5, 2021)

Lobster Cult High Priest said:


> Ralph inherited the best genetics from Ronnie. The bad genetics come from Sandras side


Sandra is the most manly of the three, though.


----------



## Keranu (Apr 6, 2021)

Bogen said:


> You leave those legs alone. They work hard to carry the gunt around.
> View attachment 2058181



Anyone interested in finding out gunt's shoe size next?



PlasticOwls said:


> View attachment 2042484



Here's an idea to support the tiptoes theory: what if the entire reason we know about guntgate at all is because Ralph's gunt fell out of his shirt _*because *_he stood up in his toes for the photo? Ralph probably tried his darnest to keep that gunt intact all day, but the moment he gets up on his tippytoes.... whoops! *ooze sound*


----------



## TV's Adam West (Apr 6, 2021)

I saw Ralph out behind an Arbys and he was like 4'6 at the most.


----------



## Love Machine (Apr 6, 2021)

Im gonna say he is somewhere around 5'6 or 5'5


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Love_Machine011 said:


> Im gonna say he is somewhere around 5'6 or 5'5


It really doesn't matter and my good friend @PlasticOwls assessment is sound, but the point still stands that it doesn't matter in the long run because Ralph will become upset if you call him 5'1" or 5'5" regardless. Defending his height status in a drunken rage was more important than collecting his loli-defending gf's worthless shit to the point of attacking people. Because it's nawt troo.


----------



## Mariposa Electrique (Apr 6, 2021)

He's tall like Danny Devito is tall.


----------



## Drew Pickles 69 (Apr 6, 2021)

Is there any way someone could reference gunts height to a foreground object to get an actual measurement? Is he really 5'1? I'm not very good at judging his height from the footage and photos I've seen he seems like he's around 5'3 maybe 5'4.


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Drew Pickles 69 said:


> Is there any way someone could reference gunts height to a foreground object to get an actual measurement? Is he really 5'1? I'm not very good at judging his height from the footage and photos I've seen he seems like he's around 5'3 maybe 5'4.


The better question we have to address is the GQ of how tall Gator is.


----------



## Drew Pickles 69 (Apr 6, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> This is a simple tutorial on how to use Photoshop tools to find the height of a person, matched against an object or person with a known height or the very least, a good range. The estimate is rough depending on the quality of the source image and skill of the person.
> 
> *Note: All the "clicking" here will be left click, unless otherwise stated!*
> 
> ...


A picture of him and May standing next to each other might be a better reference or when he walked through digibros door the door frame should be more or less the same size as a normal front door so you could just use that to base your measurements off of.


----------



## SuperConglomerateWhale (Apr 6, 2021)

Zelos Wilder said:


> I saw Ralph out behind an Arbys and he was like 4'6 at the most.


He found meats bigger than his own


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

SuperConglomerateWhale said:


> He found meats bigger than his own


I could have done this without seeing your avatar. You win by default, asshole. I need to pray.


----------



## SuperConglomerateWhale (Apr 6, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> I could have done this without seeing your avatar. You win by default, asshole. I need to pray.


Heal us, Adonai, and we shall be healed. Save us and we shall be saved, for you are our praise. Bring complete healing for all of our ailments, because God, king, a faithful compassionate healer are you. Blessed are you, Lord, who heals the sick of his people Israel.


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

SuperConglomerateWhale said:


> Heal us, Adonai, and we shall be healed. Save us and we shall be saved, for you are our praise. Bring complete healing for all of our ailments, because God, king, a faithful compassionate healer are you. Blessed are you, Lord, who heals the sick of his people Israel.


Not in my land, we only respect Mohamed PBUH.


----------



## SuperConglomerateWhale (Apr 6, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> Not in my land, we only respect Mohamed PBUH.


All this fighting is pointless. We must come together and worship our short, rounded, gunted ruler!!!


----------



## Fougaro (Apr 6, 2021)

Love_Machine011 said:


> Im gonna say he is somewhere around 5'6 or 5'5


I heard many of his contemporaries estimate his height to be in this range. The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 6, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> I heard many of his contemporaries estimate his height to be in this range. The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.


It's enough proof, imo. The cops _need_ to be accurate about height when it comes to records, same as with every other piece of data they get. He's just a near-pathological liar who for some reason thinks he can bullshit the entire universe about anything he wants.


----------



## Knight of the Rope (Apr 6, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> The official arrest record said 5'1'' and I'll go with that until proven otherwise.


But Ralph specifically filmed himself next to a ruler and proved once and for all that he _wasn't_ 5'1''!




Your browser is not able to display this video.



See? 

Are you calling him a liar? Are you saying that he's a lying manlet who probably staged the entire video because the camera angle is very convenient and he's exactly the kind of bitch who'd do such a thing? Are you saying that regardless, it's fucking pathetic of him to have even filmed this video in the first place, and that he's a thin-skinned faggot who lies? How dare you, Ralph isn't a liar!


----------



## Gangster Talk (Apr 6, 2021)

Fslur said:


> Fast-forward to this 2018 post Ralph says he is 5’10 and provides a receipt
> View attachment 2041929


When arrested, are you actually measured or does some government wagie punch it in while painting their nails? I assume this is a "how much do you weigh? How tall are you? OK whatever" situation. It's also my headcanon that he gave 5'10 before but the clerk knew that was complete bullshit and just left it at 5'1 to be more accurate.

Someone post the link to that original arrest too btw I want to add 5'1 to his Wikipedia page


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## 4str4staleatherbelt (Apr 6, 2021)

Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

4str4staleatherbelt said:


> Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.


Dick's now made the Official Killstream Shitlist™ if that's troo.

These    s know not what treachery they commit.

Gator, this is unacceptable. TELL 'EM I CAN SLAM DUNK ON LEBRON JAMES!


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## Troon Carey (Apr 6, 2021)

My theory is that Ethan is actually 4'3 but walks around on stilts to gaslight you.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Troon Carey said:


> My theory is that Ethan is actually 4'3 but walks around on stilts to gaslight you.


My theory is that Ralph is fat and Hollywood magic/MySpace angles estimate him to be 8 feet tall and everyone on KF is just jealous they don't own late night talk shows of falling half asleep during a trial proceding while drinking themselves into an early grave.


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## Troon Carey (Apr 6, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> My theory is that Ralph is fat and Hollywood magic/MySpace angles estimate him to be 8 feet tall and everyone on KF is just jealous they don't own late night talk shows of falling half asleep during a trial proceding while drinking themselves into an early grave.


We just need a camera shot of him walking rolling into a store that way we can peg his height once and for all.
This week's forensic files: find out how scientists figure out the height of a drunken manqueerpig
edit: Still kinda surprised that Dick has maintained such a relationship with Ralph - I mean I don't see him getting anything out of it other than potentially getting 80s girl to have 3 ways with his child brides and pedophile queenies.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 6, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> It looks like that Miami photo is on slopped ground and Warski is standing on ground a little lower. This Photoshop shit is above my head, so are you guys taking that into account?


Yeah Warski is for sure taller, the gunt was just closer to the camera. Slopes shouldn't matter too much as long as everything is straight-ish.



Drew Pickles 69 said:


> Is there any way someone could reference gunts height to a foreground object to get an actual measurement? Is he really 5'1? I'm not very good at judging his height from the footage and photos I've seen he seems like he's around 5'3 maybe 5'4.


It can be done if anyone can provide a decent source photo.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Not for nothing but I do want to credit @MeltyTW for an earlier assessment:

It was predicted

EDIT: I just want to add a couple of things





Gross

And his feet are extended so that may add to his "height" in this picture so that's worth considering.


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## AnOminous (Apr 6, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> It's enough proof, imo. The cops _need_ to be accurate about height when it comes to records, same as with every other piece of data they get. He's just a near-pathological liar who for some reason thinks he can bullshit the entire universe about anything he wants.


It was at least remotely plausible that an online record wouldn't be accurate, though, which is why I gave his denial credence originally.  Now that we have so many pictures of him standing next to other proven manlets and he is obviously shorter than they are, not so much.

Incidentally, Danny DeVito is apparently 4'10".  That is apparently just on the cusp of being an actual dwarf, so Danny DeVito is either the world's tallest dwarf or the world's shortest manlet.  But Danny DeVito is so fucking based he qualifies as a chad for that alone.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 6, 2021)

4str4staleatherbelt said:


> Gunt Guard General Dick Molesterson proclaimed Ralph was 5 foot 8 in the first 4 minutes of the most recent Dick Show.


That's unbelievably pathetic. For a guy who's all about a masculine persona he sure acts like he's in a fuckin' sisterhood.


AnOminous said:


> It was at least remotely plausible that an online record wouldn't be accurate, though, which is why I gave his denial credence originally.  Now that we have so many pictures of him standing next to other proven manlets and he is obviously shorter than they are, not so much.


In that infamous picture where he's standing between CRP and Dax, I think that, based on his posture, he's definitely at the very least standing on the pads of his feet, and may even be being held up by the two:


Spoiler: large-ish photo








1: If you look at where the thin red arrow is pointing, it looks like his legs are crossed in a way that suggests that they might actually be dangling. That along with the gun flopping out adds credence to the idea that he's actually being held up by itself.
2: Now where the hollow red arrows are pointing, that looks to be where he would be, if he were being held up by these two fucking retards fine upstanding gentlemen, that the pressure would be placed given the relative posture between the three. And, looking at it that way, it looks as if though CRP is using his right hand (the one the left hollow arrow is pointing at) to brace on the same spot Ethan's pit is putting all of his weight on Dick's side of the equation, which would account for the really weird, "weighed-down" posture he's taking on that side. Which would account for why Dick's posture looks somewhat similar to someone carrying a heavy bag with a strap looped over their shoulder. It's evocative of a scene where two people might be trying to keep another one from falling. Compare and contrast with this:


Spoiler: Comparison images










Tell me you don't see a semblance of that in this photo. Maybe it's just me, idk.
3: The blue arrow is pointing at where Ethan would, it seems, be putting his weight on Dax's shoulder. If you look at the angle of his arm, and the position of his hand on Dax's right shoulder, along with how CRP's shirt looks like how one would expect if he were to, along with Dax, lean down and get a good grip on Ethan to lift him up, it really comes together to paint an image that again is reminiscent of someone being carried by two people. Also right under the blue arrow, Dax's jacket seems to be twisting towards Ethan as well. Now, if you told me that Ethan was just standing on his tiptoes and those clothes were actually twisting that way because of his _gravity well_, I'd believe you, but I think it's a little less likely than getting a bit of help from his "sistahs". There's also how his upper torso looks like he's tensing, like one would if they were trying to hold themselves aloft on the shoulders of two other people, and if he were it would explain why he might relax his gunt enough for it to just flop out like a disgusting flesh-sack - it'd be too strenuous for him to both hold it in and use his upper body to keep himself held up.

Anyway, that's what initially got me to believe he's a 5'0" manlet. That picture just seems too much like he's an oompa-loompa being held up by two fully grown adult human males.


AnOminous said:


> Incidentally, Danny DeVito is apparently 4'10".  That is apparently just on the cusp of being an actual dwarf, so Danny DeVito is either the world's tallest dwarf or the world's shortest manlet.  But Danny DeVito is so fucking based he qualifies as a chad for that alone.


I wouldn't be surprised if DeVito is hung like Ron Jeremy. They even kind of look alike if you squint.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 6, 2021)

Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'6''.
Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:




I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.


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## Ayaa (Apr 6, 2021)

The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.


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## AnOminous (Apr 6, 2021)

Ayaa said:


> The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.


They're all engaged in pure manlet behavior because actual men would not behave this way.  So it is not surprising they would all be one or more standard deviations beneath normal height.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Regardless, they're all mental midgets. It doesn't change anything. You can be the world's tallest faggot but what will people remember most?


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## MeltyTW (Apr 6, 2021)

Ayaa said:


> The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.


I mean even accepting some of the higher of Ralph's bs height claims gator and Riley etc are still confirmed short as fuck so that unlikelihood is already confirmed to have happened against odds no matter where you believe Ralph's height is


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## Gangster Talk (Apr 6, 2021)

Ayaa said:


> The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.


Manletdom is a debilitating condition that affects someone psychologically as well as physically. You can observe phenomena such as bursts of hilariously impotent, unnecessary anger commonly known as "Manlet Rage" or the historical Napoleon Complex. It's not out of the cards that being an attention whore eceleb wannabe lolcow is related to some other unresearched symptom related to this condition.


----------



## PhoBingas (Apr 6, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'5''.
> Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
> View attachment 2063733
> I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.


Pretty sure the cop car in the back in a newer model Crown Vic but I'm not a carfag. Wikipedia tells me its 56.8 inches (1.443 m) tall. I don't know the make or model of the other two cars though, but at least we have something semi-concrete to base Ralph's height on.


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## RichardRApe (Apr 6, 2021)

PhoBingas said:


> but at least we have something semi-concrete to base Ralph's height on.


We know he's 3 feet, 6 inches from the top of his head to his knees since he has that mic next to his head every night. That's something concrete. It depends on how long his tibia/fibula are and we can nail down his height. I'm saying 5'1.


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## AnOminous (Apr 6, 2021)

Zelos Wilder said:


> I saw Ralph out behind an Arbys and he was like 4'6 at the most.


I bet you're lying.  Prove it.  Can Ethan Ralph suck your dick without kneeling?


MeltyTW said:


> I mean even accepting some of the higher of Ralph's bs height claims gator and Riley etc are still confirmed short as fuck so that unlikelihood is already confirmed to have happened against odds no matter where you believe Ralph's height is


They're all shorter than even average chicks.  They're manlets.  Manlets are sad creatures and they act this way.


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## MightyBiteySnake (Apr 6, 2021)

Ralph is short, Ralph is tiny
Lil Ralphie stuck his thumb
up a white girl's heiny


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## Bogen (Apr 6, 2021)

Perhaps Ralph really is the height he claims but the gunts power forces him into it so to the world he looks more compact?


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## RichardRApe (Apr 6, 2021)

Bogen said:


> Perhaps Ralph really is the height he claims


You can't be 5'11", 5'10", 5'9", 5'8" and 5'7" all at the same time. Those are all heights he's claimed.


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## Bogen (Apr 6, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> You can't be 5'11", 5'10", 5'9", 5'8" and 5'7" all at the same time. Those are all heights he's claimed.


The gunt has changed size over time so perhaps the pull of gravity has too


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## PlasticOwls (Apr 6, 2021)

Ayaa said:


> The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.


Dunno who or what this Gator looks like, but Warski is legitimately shorter than Ralph.

Edit: Gator somehow looks like a bigger neckbeard than Quentin Reviews, and the idea of a neckbeard being as short as Warski and Ethan is hilarious


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## RichardRApe (Apr 6, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> Dunno who or what this Gator looks like, but Warski is legitimately shorter than Ralph.


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## Fslur (Apr 6, 2021)

Someone dm’d Riley asking about his height. For reference Riley says he is 4’6 making Ralph 5’2 at best.


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## Drew Pickles 69 (Apr 6, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'5''.
> Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
> View attachment 2063733
> I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.


The problem with using that photo is the reference objects are pretty far away. If he was right next the car or the cones we could just stack them on top of each other I think using the tire is pretty ingenious though because you can guarantee it's 18 inches but because of the distance from them it would be hard to blow the tires up to their actual size.


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## Takayuki Yagami (Apr 6, 2021)

Fslur said:


> Someone dm’d Riley asking about his height. For reference Riley says he is 4’6 making Ralph 5’2 at best.
> 
> View attachment 2064775


If he isn’t lying I legit feel sorry for him. 4’6” is actual dwarfism isn’t it?


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## Moral plague (Apr 6, 2021)

Wish I were unemployed so I could meet Ralph at a bar or something and settle the height question once and for all. He's only a little drive away from me. Any suggestions on how best to document his height in-person?


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## RichardRApe (Apr 6, 2021)

Moral plague said:


> Wish I were unemployed so I could meet Ralph at a bar or something and settle the height question once and for all. He's only a little drive away from me. Any suggestions on how best to document his height in-person?


Do you really need to be unemployed to see him? I say get a friend to film and you walk up behind him with a tape measure. Another way to be sneaky would be put marks or buttons on your clothing at heights you know.


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## Vetti (Apr 6, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> If he isn’t lying I legit feel sorry for him. 4’6” is actual dwarfism isn’t it?


Obviously he's lying. The guy will say anything for attention and the chance to get berated.


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## Moral plague (Apr 6, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Do you really need to be unemployed to see him? I say get a friend to film and you walk up behind him with a tape measure. Another way to be sneaky would be put marks or buttons on your clothing at heights you know.


Yes, it's imperative so I don't need to worry about giving my coworkers the coof or air-transmitted AIDS, in case he breathes on me. The measuring tape sounds alright. maybe a cardboard cutout instead, so he doesn't hear it rattling behind him.


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## RichardRApe (Apr 6, 2021)

Moral plague said:


> Yes, it's imperative so I don't need to worry about giving my coworkers the coof or air-transmitted AIDS, in case he breathes on me. The measuring tape sounds alright. maybe a cardboard cutout instead, so he doesn't hear it rattling behind him.


Stay away from underneath his fingernails, you get infected with that and employed/unemployed it doesn't matter you're going down. Also a cardboard cutout tape measure would be funny, especially if you skewed the numbers so it made him shorter than what a real one would say.



_God dammit do I look 5'1 to you, bish?_
"Actually you do and we can prove it."


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## Lore Master (Apr 6, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Stay away from underneath his fingernails, you get infected with that and employed/unemployed it doesn't matter you're going down. Also a cardboard cutout tape measure would be funny, especially if you skewed the numbers so it made him shorter than what a real one would say.
> View attachment 2065104_God dammit do I look 5'1 to you, bish?_
> "Actually you do and we can prove it."
> View attachment 2065113


He claims that it was a clerical error. I don't know many police departments that can make that big of a clerical error during the booking process. He claims 5'8". Not anywhere close to 5'10". So it isn't like they missed a "0". We have seen multiple pictures of him near people we know the height of. He is definitely much shorter than people that are 5'6". Also his personality is completely Napoleon, so it's clear his manletism puts a chip on his shoulders.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 6, 2021)

Lore Master said:


> He claims that it was a clerical error. I don't know many police departments that can make that big of a clerical error during the booking process. He claims 5'8". Not anywhere close to 5'10". So it isn't like they missed a "0". We have seen multiple pictures of him near people we know the height of. He is definitely much shorter than people that are 5'6". Also his personality is completely Napoleon, so it's clear his manletism puts a chip on his shoulders.


That and granted the information was also put into meters and kilograms.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 6, 2021)

Drew Pickles 69 said:


> The problem with using that photo is the reference objects are pretty far away. If he was right next the car or the cones we could just stack them on top of each other I think using the tire is pretty ingenious though because you can guarantee it's 18 inches but because of the distance from them it would be hard to blow the tires up to their actual size.


No that's not a problem, stuff closer unless on the same plane poses more problems (a lot harder to deal with). That's exactly why we used vanishing points, height is consistent throughout.


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## High Tea (Apr 6, 2021)

Lore Master said:


> He claims that it was a clerical error. I don't know many police departments that can make that big of a clerical error during the booking process. He claims 5'8". Not anywhere close to 5'10". So it isn't like they missed a "0". We have seen multiple pictures of him near people we know the height of. He is definitely much shorter than people that are 5'6". Also his personality is completely Napoleon, so it's clear his manletism puts a chip on his shoulders.


He should claim 5'7".  1 and 7 are close visually so you can claim error there and a plausible keypad slip.   I've heard some places just take the info off your drivers license, but I don't know if that's how it is there.


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## Drew Pickles 69 (Apr 6, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> No that's not a problem, stuff closer unless on the same plane poses more problems (a lot harder to deal with). That's exactly why we used vanishing points, height is consistent throughout.


I assumed that an object further away would be less reliable. I'll leave the logistics to someone who knows what they're doing. As far as anyone is concerned at this point gunt is 5'1 until proven otherwise.


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## Perspicacity (Apr 6, 2021)

Tiny Ralph


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## Sam Losco (Apr 7, 2021)

Fslur said:


> Someone dm’d Riley asking about his height. For reference Riley says he is 4’6 making Ralph 5’2 at best.
> 
> View attachment 2064775


Bullshit. It's obvious why someone would ask that so he lied.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 7, 2021)

Vetti said:


> Obviously he's lying. The guy will say anything for attention and the chance to get berated.





Sam Losco said:


> Bullshit. It's obvious why someone would ask that so he lied.


Yeah, he's obviously still guntguarding. He is 4' which puts Ralph at 4'5''.



Drew Pickles 69 said:


> I assumed that an object further away would be less reliable. I'll leave the logistics to someone who knows what they're doing. As far as anyone is concerned at this point gunt is 5'1 until proven otherwise.


No that's not exactly how it works. The source was from a mid-range focal length with minimal distortion. Items in the middle of the frame typically appears less distorted than the edge, which could also suffer from vignetting and comatic aberration (it's getting autistic) making them worse.



There's also cases where both are combined (colloquially moustache distortion), typically found in nigger-tier cheap trash optics. Some cheap Korean junk for example:



Distortion is exaggerated here because the grid is closer to the lens (ie a closeup photo). Lenses aren't typically designed to correct for these things at close distances. 

Stuff too close appear a lot larger and thus covers a larger portion, which means there's a far higher tendency for annoying optical aberrations to occur. This is getting really autistic. Anyway, the best source photo would have clear geometry, minimal distortion, and the subject in mid-frame.


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## MeltyTW (Apr 7, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> Bullshit. It's obvious why someone would ask that so he lied.


no, every process weve done from primitive vape pen stacking to photo analysis and cross reference research and every witness who isnt a shorter manlet wanting to appear taller or someone like mantsu fluffing his ego with plainly visible untrue claims about relative height , every legal record, and even possibly my own fucking eyes have reported ethan ralph as a 5'1 manlet so i think we can trust him on this at least.


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 7, 2021)

High Tea said:


> He should claim 5'7".  1 and 7 are close visually so you can claim error there and a plausible keypad slip.   I've heard some places just take the info off your drivers license, but I don't know if that's how it is there.


Ralph doesn't have the luxury of Mother Nature's Night Camo that darkies do where he could be considered between 4'2" and 6'8". At best he'd be considered a leprechaun or hiding in trees if he moved fast enough. Case in point:


----------



## Shiggy Diggster (Apr 7, 2021)

Here we have a photograph of a man who reports his height as 5'10" and his weight as 266 lbs.



			Photographic Height/Weight Chart - 5' 10", 270 lbs., BMI:39
		







I'd like to post some pictures of what a 5'2", 270 lb male looks like, but apparently only women are that short.


----------



## RichardRApe (Apr 7, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Distortion is exaggerated here because the grid is closer to the lens (ie a closeup photo). Lenses aren't typically designed to correct for these things at close distances.


Holy shit, you're saying this lens makes Ralph look taller than he actually is? Remember when Ralph said baph leaked fake nudes of that tiny micro dick and then Ralph leaked his real nude and it was the same dick? But Ralph hates liars and fake mfers!



Conclusion: Ralph is 5'1


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## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Holy shit, you're saying this lens makes Ralph look taller than he actually is? Remember when Ralph said baph leaked fake nudes of that tiny micro dick and then Ralph leaked his real nude and it was the same dick? But Ralph hates liars and fake mfers!
> View attachment 2067302
> Conclusion: Ralph is 5'1


Six years later...


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 7, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> Here we have a photograph of a man who reports his height as 5'10" and his weight as 266 lbs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I have my doubts of Ralph being 270lb, I think he's probably pushing like 300lb.

For context, the guy below is 5'8" and 260 lb.



Would an extra 15lb really turn him into this? Like seriously, the guy above is developing a proto-gunt, but it doesn't sag.



Here is a side shot of someone who is 5'9" and 270.



He's getting the begging of a sag, but not noticeably as round as Ralph either.

Below is someone who is 5'7", on the left he is 270lb.



This is getting to look increasingly Ralph like, asides from Ralph's noodle arms. If I was to take Ralph at his word, he's conceivably around 5'5"-5'6" at the higher end of 270 lb. Maybe.


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## Roman Gunt Guard (Apr 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Stay away from underneath his fingernails, you get infected with that and employed/unemployed it doesn't matter you're going down. Also a cardboard cutout tape measure would be funny, especially if you skewed the numbers so it made him shorter than what a real one would say.
> View attachment 2065104_God dammit do I look 5'1 to you, bish?_
> "Actually you do and we can prove it."
> View attachment 2065113


Thanks you , this settles it once and for all.


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 7, 2021)

I think he's probably over 300 lbs.


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## World Star (Apr 7, 2021)

It doesn't matter how tall he really is he's still a mental midget.


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## RichardRApe (Apr 7, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> I think he's probably over 300 lbs.


Physically the only way he's not over 300 is if he's 5'1 or shorter.


----------



## draggs (Apr 7, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> If he isn’t lying I legit feel sorry for him. 4’6” is actual dwarfism isn’t it?


Dwarf = anyone 4'10" and under 

Average dwarf height is 4 feet

So Riley is a giant among dwarves


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Physically the only way he's not over 300 is if he's 5'1 or shorter.
> View attachment 2067553


so he either admits to being over 300 pounds OR being 5'1, interesting dilemma the gunt has backed himself into


----------



## Ulkesh (Apr 7, 2021)

Honestly I think Ethan Ralph’s funniest line ever is “DO I LOOK 5’1 BITCH?!” Something about the cadence of his white trash accent, mixed with his absolute sincerity in his offence over such an infantile accusation is unbelievably funny to me. He’s like a five year old trapped in the body of a 300 pound, 5’1 wigger.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 7, 2021)

It's 3'1.


----------



## Governor Jeb Bush (Apr 7, 2021)

he is 22.5cm tall, exactly.


----------



## FM Bradley (Apr 7, 2021)

*You're 5' 1'', Gunt.*


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## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 7, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> If he isn’t lying I legit feel sorry for him. 4’6” is actual dwarfism isn’t it?


I think the he's just poking the Gunt because it's funny.

Now if he was to post evidence of his diminutive stature...


----------



## Eggg (Apr 7, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> Here we have a photograph of a man who reports his height as 5'10" and his weight as 266 lbs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Is that Beardson?


----------



## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 7, 2021)

Dick is six feet flat and can rest his chin easily on Gunt's head. If that's the most damning statement for Gunt's height, then there are probably even dumber ways of doing so.


----------



## Vinluv Handesbukia (Apr 10, 2021)

Look at the Wikipedia,he’s not 5’1


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Apr 10, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'6''.
> Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
> View attachment 2063733
> I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.


The Miami Beach police cruiser is probably a Crown Vic, they also use another model that I don't know what it is, but those all seem to have a bumper guard thing.



MBPD supervisor vehicles do not seem to have the bumper guard, though.


----------



## FFinfo (Apr 11, 2021)

Exterior door heights are standardized to 80 inches in the US.  Likewise, the viewport on the door has to be at least six inches from the edge of the door. From the fight video, assuming it's exactly 6 inches and playing in Ralph's favor, he comes up about a total of a foot shy of the door top given his head is midway through the panes. He'd be hovering in the range of 5'6"-5'8".
The only way he isn't is if he ran up to the door both times on his tip-toes (which I don't put past him).

edit: Oh shit, that's including his shoes, though, right. So take an inch from that, but it's still above midget territory.


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 11, 2021)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> Dick is six feet flat and can rest his chin easily on Gunt's head. If that's the most damning statement for Gunt's height, then there are probably even dumber ways of doing so.


Or you can poke his stomach like the Pillsbury Doughboy. That really pisses him off. If we want a different measure then someone should get him to pose in front of his car. A Sentra is 4'9" in height.


----------



## Benzo Samurai (Apr 11, 2021)

aren't there prison records? i guess not since you guys are still discussing it, but what a damn shame. We do have the in-car streams with faith, could we deduce something from that?


----------



## WeWuzFinns (Apr 11, 2021)

Benzo Samurai said:


> aren't there prison records? i guess not since you guys are still discussing it, but what a damn shame. We do have the in-car streams with faith, could we deduce something from that?


During his prison sentence he was bent over most of the time so there isn't any accurate record. Loose ass Ralph is what they used to call him inside. Now his only retort is to drink to make the memories of prison rape disappear.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> I think he's probably over 300 lbs.


He's either considerably shorter than he says, or considerably fatter.

Or both to a moderate degree.


Benzo Samurai said:


> aren't there prison records?


No, seeing as he didn't go to prison.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 11, 2021)

World Star said:


> It doesn't matter how tall he really is he's still a mental midget.


He's not extremely assmad about that, though.  He doesn't realize he's a mental manlet as well as a physical one, because of Dunning-Kruger, but he's very, very upset about the fact that he is a physical manlet, a stark fact of reality he can't avoid.


Ij999 said:


> Honestly I think Ethan Ralph’s funniest line ever is “DO I LOOK 5’1 BITCH?!”


And it's funny because yes, he does look 5'1".  Just put him in one of those munchkin outfits and he would not look out of place representing the Lollipop Guild in the Wizard of Oz.


----------



## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 11, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> He's not extremely assmad about that, though.  He doesn't realize he's a mental manlet as well as a physical one, because of Dunning-Kruger, but he's very, very upset about the fact that he is a physical manlet, a stark fact of reality he can't avoid.
> 
> And it's funny because yes, he does look 5'1".  Just put him in one of those munchkin outfits and he would not look out of place representing the Lollipop Guild in the Wizard of Oz.


He's the only one left because he ate them all.


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> He's either considerably shorter than he says, or considerably fatter.
> 
> Or both to a moderate degree.
> 
> No, seeing as he didn't go to prison.


I'm more inclined to believe Ralph on his weight, it does not get under his skin as much as the jabs about his height. Which I find strange, if asked about whether I'd rather by 5'6" or 275lb I would choose the former every time.

Personally, I think the 5"5'-5"6' range is probably more accurate. Although I would wager on the lower side.

 Just basing this on Ralph's relative height next to the door, the similar morphology of fatties around that height and weight.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> I'm more inclined to believe Ralph on his weight, it does not get under his skin as much as the jabs about his height. Which I find strange, if asked about whether I'd rather by 5'6" or 275lb I would choose the former every time.
> 
> Personally, I think the 5"5'-5"6' range is probably more accurate. Although I would wager on the lower side.


The only way his weight would match up with his size is if he were 5'0 or 5'1". I don't believe Ralph about anything and he for some reason has this capacity to get people to doubt obvious shit... like his height/weight. If he's really 5'5" or above he'd be well over 300 lbs to be that fucking rotund.

The reason his height gets under his skin so much is that it's calling him on a lie and he's painfully aware of how sad it is that he'd act so tough at 5'1". As far as I'm concerned I have no reason to doubt the police report, and Ralph's word is so fouled at this point by his own propensity to lie that I'm actively encouraged to believe the opposite of what he says when it comes to shit like this.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> The reason his height gets under his skin so much is that it's calling him on a lie and he's painfully aware of how sad it is that he'd act so tough at 5'1".


Imagine being a midget in so many ways, literally midget height, mentally a midget, a moral midget, and having a micropenis.  There is nothing large about this man other than his weight.  He is a midget by every other conceivable measure.


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> The only way his weight would match up with his size is if he were 5'0 or 5'1". I don't believe Ralph about anything and he for some reason has this capacity to get people to doubt obvious shit... like his height/weight. If he's really 5'5" or above he'd be well over 300 lbs to be that fucking rotund.
> 
> The reason his height gets under his skin so much is that it's calling him on a lie and he's painfully aware of how sad it is that he'd act so tough at 5'1". As far as I'm concerned I have no reason to doubt the police report, and Ralph's word is so fouled at this point by his own propensity to lie that I'm actively encouraged to believe the opposite of what he says when it comes to shit like this.


I disagree, I was looking at progress pictures in a previous post. The guy who was 5'7 and 270lb was similar to Ralph in shape and size. While I would say Ralph was worse, losing a couple of inchs and adding on a couple of lbs and I would say that was a relatively close match.

Even 5'5 is pretty embarrassing for Ralph given he has vehemently insisted he was definitely 5'11... or did he say 5'10.... perhaps 5'7? Whichever way you play it, Ralph is buttmad he's a manlet and has lied to cover up that fact.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> I disagree, I was looking at progress pictures in a previous post. The guy who was 5'7 and 270lb was similar to Ralph in shape and size. While I would say Ralph was worse, losing a couple of inchs and adding on a couple of lbs and I would say that was a relatively close match.
> 
> Even 5'5 is pretty embarrassing for Ralph given he has vehemently insisted he was definitely 5'11... or did he say 5'10.... perhaps 5'7? Whichever way you play it, Ralph is buttmad he's a manlet and has lied to cover up that fact.


I've worked with a guy who was 5'4" and 320 lbs. Ralph's bigger around than he was.

Believing Ralph at all over a police report is an analogy unto itself. Like I said he's either shorter than he says he is or much fatter, and it's obvious to anyone who's been around a deathfat who's around that height. I'm going with the police report because Ralph has _negative_ credibility when it comes to pretty much anything that would embarrass him, and generally speaking police take really accurate records to make identifying suspects easier in the future.

I seriously will never understand his ability to get people to give him reasonable doubt after he's been shown both to be a habitual hypocrite and liar, repeatedly.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 11, 2021)

Benzo Samurai said:


> aren't there prison records? i guess not since you guys are still discussing it, but what a damn shame. We do have the in-car streams with faith, could we deduce something from that?


there is the booking info that ralph denies without a shred of proof to show them being wrong, he doesnt even say how they got a "wrong" number he just tells people theyre wrong



Mr E. Grifter said:


> I'm more inclined to believe Ralph on his weight, it does not get under his skin as much as the jabs about his height. Which I find strange, if asked about whether I'd rather by 5'6" or 275lb I would choose the former every time.


the gunt joke was the original corn joke times 20, he got so ass pained at being called fat he tanked his career and started a down spiral of paranoia that led to the insular shrinking police state that is his "fan"base today so no. this was well before alot of kf got involved but trust me, the gunt jokes made him start flagging a whole lot more, care a lot less about being known as a flaggot, and made him burn bridges with former gold stars etc etc etc he had it banned from his stream me chat, never assume ralph isnt asspained he got dolphin emotes banned site wide for mocking his laugh


LurkTrawl said:


> The only way his weight would match up with his size is if he were 5'0 or 5'1". I don't believe Ralph about anything and he for some reason has this capacity to get people to doubt obvious shit... like his height/weight. If he's really 5'5" or above he'd be well over 300 lbs to be that fucking rotund.





LurkTrawl said:


> I seriously will never understand his ability to get people to give him reasonable doubt after he's been shown both to be a habitual hypocrite and liar, repeatedly.


i think its because people are primed for disappointment on this site (to the point the middle of the road paths for predictions or theories is the most often agreed with even if not the most likely) and ralph never takes the l on anything to the point people want to force him with literal court grade fbi tier evidence and this mixes to "well we dont have a video of an aylawg holding ralph down and measuring him so ill prime myself for disappointment and guess hes actually a normal height". even though he is proven time and time again to be at most a 5'1 midget, if anything ralph should be thanking us for rounding up to 5'1


----------



## McMitch4kf (Apr 11, 2021)

Theme of Gunt


----------



## Mundane Ralph (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> I disagree, I was looking at progress pictures in a previous post. The guy who was 5'7 and 270lb was similar to Ralph in shape and size. While I would say Ralph was worse, losing a couple of inchs and adding on a couple of lbs and I would say that was a relatively close match.
> 
> Even 5'5 is pretty embarrassing for Ralph given he has vehemently insisted he was definitely 5'11... or did he say 5'10.... perhaps 5'7? Whichever way you play it, Ralph is buttmad he's a manlet and has lied to cover up that fact.


Ralph has claimed 5'11", 5'10", 5'9", 5'8", 5'7", and then recently 5'8" followed by 5'9" again. He's 5'5" and 400lbs. The gunt is not normal human fat. It has evolved an unnatural density so that any food scraps falling from Ethan's mouth or spilled liquor are pulled into it by gravitational force.


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 11, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> there is the booking info that ralph denies without a shred of proof to show them being wrong, he doesnt even say how they got a "wrong" number he just tells people theyre wrong
> 
> 
> the gunt joke was the original corn joke times 20, he got so ass pained at being called fat he tanked his career and started a down spiral of paranoia that led to the insular shrinking police state that is his "fan"base today so no. this was well before alot of kf got involved but trust me, the gunt jokes made him start flagging a whole lot more, care a lot less about being known as a flaggot, and made him burn bridges with former gold stars etc etc etc he had it banned from his stream me chat, never assume ralph isnt asspained he got dolphin emotes banned site wide for mocking his laugh
> ...


Admittedly, I was not aware of any of the Stream.me stuff when it was going on as I didn't have as much free time to laugh at these retards as this plague has afforded me. So fair enough on that part, I concede.

On the height though, I just don't see it. If we take Ralph is 5'1 and Diddler Dax is 6'0 then Dax should be a full head above Ralph (Not based on Ralph's enormous Swede). In the original Gunt shot, even taking into account Ralph stretching and Dax leaning over slightly there clearly isn't a full head between them. Maybe 2/3rds.

Plus, Ralph is a short man, but he's not that short. You start looking at celebrities who hover around 5'1 and they are visibly small. Here are two images of Scientology leader David Miscavige who is confirmed as 5'1. He makes Tom Cruise - 5'7 - look tall.






Even comparing pictures of Ralph with this "highly scientific" - obviously to be taken with a pinch or two of salt -height comparison site I would be hard pushed to think Ralph could possibly be 5'1 if Dax is indeed 6'0

6'0 compared to 5'6


			Comparing Heights
		





6'0 compared to 5'1.


			Comparing Heights
		




Ralph is not this short when compared to Dax. Now sure it says 5'1 on his police report, and in isolation I would take that as confirmation of his height, but I just cannot reconcile that with the pictures of him. As much as I would love for Ralph to be that short - he just doesn't seem to be.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> Admittedly, I was not aware of any of the Stream.me stuff when it was going on as I didn't have as much free time to laugh at these retards as this plague has afforded me. So fair enough on that part, I concede.
> 
> On the height though, I just don't see it. If we take Ralph is 5'1 and Diddler Dax is 6'0 then Dax should be a full head above Ralph (Not based on Ralph's enormous Swede). In the original Gunt shot, even taking into account Ralph stretching and Dax leaning over slightly there clearly isn't a full head between them. Maybe 2/3rds.
> 
> ...


that 5'1 guy totally looks ralphs height though, and the gunt picture hes both wearing unidentified shoes, dax and co are leaning and hes supporting himself on them. ralphs just going to say why (if any actual non cope reason) he thinks the police report is wrong because i dont think it should overturned just because you dont eyeball ralph at being 5'1



Mundane Ralph said:


> Ralph has claimed 5'11", 5'10", 5'9", 5'8", 5'7", and then recently 5'8" followed by 5'9" again. He's 5'5" and 400lbs. The gunt is not normal human fat. It has evolved an unnatural density so that any food scraps falling from Ethan's mouth or spilled liquor are pulled into it by gravitational force.


5'1 and 400 pounds


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

What's more believable:

>Known borderline sociopathic, narcissistic pathological liar
or
>Police measurement most likely derived from a line system on a wall that hasn't been changed in decades used for probably hundreds of offenders if not thousands just like him



Yeah, he's fucking 5'1" if the police record says so and believing Ralph over that is showing questionable judgement to put it lightly.


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> What's more believable:
> 
> >Known borderline sociopathic, narcissistic pathological liar
> or
> ...


To play Gunts Advocate here, there are least two likely scenarios that could lead the police measurement to be wrong:

A simple typo
Gunt was drunk at the time so probably had difficulty standing straight. So it's possible he was slumped over enough that they just took his 5'4-5" height as 5'1". Getting his height perfect isn't top priority so they didn't care.


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 11, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> 5'1 and 400 pounds


4'1" and 600 pounds.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> To play Gunts Advocate here, there are least two likely scenarios that could lead the police measurement to be wrong:
> 
> A simple typo
> Gunt was drunk at the time so probably had difficulty standing straight. So it's possible he was slumped over enough that they just took his 5'4-5" height as 5'1". Getting his height perfect isn't top priority so they didn't care.


Until I have evidence of either, I'm not going to buy either. And I highly doubt they'd just let a guy slouch so far that it'd knock three full inches off his height when taking their measurement for booking. If anything they'd physically hold him up if they had to - accurate measurement of an offender's height is pretty damn important to get correct during the booking process.

A typo is a convenient excuse that I'm just not willing to give given the other evidence around it, also again due to how important it is for the police to have the correct height of someone who's going on the books. To say nothing, again, of the complete lack of charitable doubt I'm willing to give Ralph on anything that might be embarrassing to him.


----------



## Bestwestern (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> Until I have evidence of either, I'm not going to buy either. And I highly doubt they'd just let a guy slouch so far that it'd knock three full inches off his height when taking their measurement for booking. If anything they'd physically hold him up if they had to - accurate measurement of an offender's height is pretty damn important to get correct during the booking process.
> 
> A typo is a convenient excuse that I'm just not willing to give given the other evidence around it, also again due to how important it is for the police to have the correct height of someone who's going on the books. To say nothing, again, of the complete lack of charitable doubt I'm willing to give Ralph on anything that might be embarrassing to him.


If they lied on the police report this retard could stand next to any height approximater at a store one of his lives to own the haters and the farms and be the true ralphamale. Because of that he's not 5'6 or whatever he is claiming to be now. Maybe not as short as 5'1 but not far off


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 11, 2021)

LurkTrawl said:


> What's more believable:
> 
> >Known borderline sociopathic, narcissistic pathological liar
> or
> ...


It isn't so much believing Ralph, I don't believe him - he isn't 5'10 for one second.

It's that looking at images of Ralph he doesn't look anything like someone who is 5'1 - not in his general stature, not when comparing him to others who we have a better understanding of height on. It's not just a case of eye-balling it either, I can't say for certain exactly how tall Ralph is - it's a rough estimation.

Back to more reasons why he's unlikely to be 5'1.




Michelle Malkin on the left is about 5'1.5. Ralph does have a couple of inches on her. She is likely wearing heels too, from what I can see she wears heels at most of these events.




Two to the left of Michelle Malking is Steve King. Now sure she might have different shoes on in both pictures, but her height when compared with Fuentes is about the same. In relation to Steve King, Fuentes seems about the same height. So I would surmise that Ralph is ever so slightly shorter than Steve King.




Steve King here is next to Trump. He is slightly shorter here in my estimation than Kanye. Kanye stands at 5'8. I would say by between 2-3 inches.




So look, I can't put an exact number on this but it's pretty clear Ralph isn't actually 5'1. Unless he wears platforms, or goes on his tippy toes during every single photo - so I suppose there is an outside chance, but I doubt it. I think 5'6 is a reasonable estimate.


----------



## LurkTrawl (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> It isn't so much believing Ralph, I don't believe him - he isn't 5'10 for one second.
> 
> It's that looking at images of Ralph he doesn't look anything like someone who is 5'1 - not in his general stature, not when comparing him to others who we have a better understanding of height on. It's not just a case of eye-balling it either, I can't say for certain exactly how tall Ralph is - it's a rough estimation.
> 
> ...


And by his posture he looks like he's standing on the tips of his toes, yet again.

I'm still going with the police report since it's harder evidence than photos that don't show his feet on the ground and what kind of shoes he's wearing. I'm going to need a level of evidence that contradicts a police booking record and I've yet to see anything close.

Edit: You know what? If anybody can get me the street this photo is from:




and the name of the hotel this photo is from:




I might actually make it a weekend trip sometime this year to go down there and measure both that pole he's standing next to in the first photo and the fencing by the pool in the second photo and take pictures/video of the measurement. Not making any promises though.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 11, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> Gunt was drunk at the time so probably had difficulty standing straight. So it's possible he was slumped over enough that they just took his 5'4-5" height as 5'1". Getting his height perfect isn't top priority so they didn't care.


He fell over and they measured the height of his gunt instead.
So Ralph is 5'4, the gunt is 5'1.


----------



## DonDaLemon (Apr 11, 2021)

I wonder if the shithole corner store ralph claimed to be "robbed" at has one of those tape measures attached to the door frame...


----------



## Vetti (Apr 11, 2021)

I want an autistic breakdown of Ralph's hip to waist ratio.


----------



## Keranu (Apr 11, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> Here we have a photograph of a man who reports his height as 5'10" and his weight as 266 lbs.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is an outstanding photo. Ralph's proportions are nothing like this man's.


----------



## DrLittleDo (Apr 11, 2021)

Mr E. Grifter said:


> It isn't so much believing Ralph, I don't believe him - he isn't 5'10 for one second.
> 
> It's that looking at images of Ralph he doesn't look anything like someone who is 5'1 - not in his general stature, not when comparing him to others who we have a better understanding of height on. It's not just a case of eye-balling it either, I can't say for certain exactly how tall Ralph is - it's a rough estimation.
> 
> ...


you can tell Gunther over here is trying his damndest to look as tall as possible.... yeah im gonna stick with him being 5'1
You can tell he is putting pressure on other two which you can tell by how the coat looks.


----------



## Insanely Retarded (Apr 11, 2021)

Why in the world does anyone believe Ralph's lie about the arrest record being wrong?
The only source for that being wrong is Ralph, there's literally nothing that would point to that being the case.
The guy is a fucking obese midget, physically and mentally and has demonstrably lied about his height so many times, going so far as to fake a video where he "measures" himself. If that doesn't point to him being terrified of people finding out his real height I don't know what will.
I will trust a police record over Ralph's word any day.

Edit: Just like with the gunt, once Ralph's height is confirmed 100% beyond any doubt, he will pretend he doesn't care "big deal, I'm short" "big deal they saw my belly", but we know your burning up inside Ralph.


----------



## Takodachi (Apr 11, 2021)

i thought ralph was 4'9


----------



## Fougaro (Apr 11, 2021)

According to this BMI visualiser here are three visual representations on what Ralph would look at 5'1'', 5'6'' and 5'10'' if we take his word that he is 275 lbs heavy.










Now which one do you think looks more akin to what we've seen? Personally I think that he is definitely not 5'10''.


----------



## Jill Kews (Apr 11, 2021)

I just want to say that even as the world burns around us, it warms my heart to see people putting the useful parts of their mental illnesses to work to further embarrass a disgrace of a human being. This is the spirit of the internet at work. Godspeed you magnificent bastards.


----------



## Delicious Diversity (Apr 11, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> According to this BMI visualiser here are three visual representations on what Ralph would look at 5'1'', 5'6'' and 5'10'' if we take his word that he is 275 lbs heavy.
> 
> View attachment 2079200View attachment 2079203View attachment 2079204
> 
> Now which one do you think looks more akin to what we've seen? Personally I think that he is definitely not 5'10''.


Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.

If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:





Comparing gunt-for-gunt this model more accurately reflects what we see in IRL gunt footage:


----------



## Fannyscum (Apr 11, 2021)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.
> 
> If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:
> 
> ...


Ralph's anatomy is so un-human that I don't think these models are going to be close enough to accurately represent his deformed, grotesque, hobbity physique. 

To better approach ultimate Ralphamale that model needs a pancake ass, the bi-directional front gunt, an apron of flesh hanging from 75% of his waist, the weird apartment hump on the back of his head that Null lives in rent-free, MOAR JOWLS, skinny bird legs and his tits probably droop like his fat gut. 

Accurately though it's got no visible cock and is bald. Obviously this fat faggot is neither 5'8" nor 275lbs. It'll be interesting to see what he self-reports for Dick's weight loss challenge.


----------



## HotdogWater (Apr 11, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Imagine being a midget in so many ways, literally midget height, mentally a midget, a moral midget, and having a micropenis.  There is nothing large about this man other than his weight.  He is a midget by every other conceivable measure.


The Human Chode


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 11, 2021)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.
> 
> If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:
> 
> ...


I imagine the site doesn't take into consideration severe alcoholism, coca cola intake, genetics or sitting on your ass all day or sleeping.

It was either @MeltyTW or @RichardRApe that mentioned how Gunts grow the way they do with dissecting how Ronnie and Sandra look.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 11, 2021)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> I imagine the site doesn't take into consideration severe alcoholism, coca cola intake, genetics or sitting on your ass all day or sleeping.
> 
> It was either @MeltyTW or @RichardRApe that mentioned how Gunts grow the way they do with dissecting how Ronnie and Sandra look.


idk if richard compared him to his parents but i did one day look for pics of beer bellies to see if they distribute fat in a way that causes it to hang off you and it does.  you might be mixing it with people theorizing ralph is jewish via his name and his inbred Hapsburg jaw . ps @RichardRApe or anyone else reallly do you happen to have a clip of ethan trying to deny being a jew with a fucked incest jawline?

now tell me this isnt ethans fucked easter island head to a t, cant you just hear GAYTOR, GAYTOR WHERE DOTH THOU GAYTOR? LOYAL DOG AND VILLIOUS BLACKGUARD SELL SWORD CURR. i think we can all agree that this is just not up for debate even if you think ethan might be 6'10 or something,



Delicious Diversity said:


> Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.
> 
> If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:
> 
> ...


the gunts sticks out like half a foot more the head is almost twice as big and the but packed inwards but sagging downward,


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 11, 2021)

Insanely Retarded said:


> but we know your burning up inside Ralph.


That would imply he's exercising.


----------



## FM Bradley (Apr 11, 2021)

*You are short and we think even less of you because of it, Ethan.*


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 12, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> *You are short and we think even less of you because of it, Ethan.*


I fucking hate midgets.  Tiny little worthless midgets.  They should kill themselves.  They have no reason to live.


----------



## Guntkvd (Apr 12, 2021)

I'd say he is 5'2 and that's why he is so deeply offended when you say he is 5'1, simply because it's nat truuuuu.


----------



## Kingu Cinnamon (Apr 12, 2021)

Obviously, his height is embarrassingly short whatever the truth is, simply because the best way for Ralph to dispel these rumours would be to get someone to video him and a tape measure. The fact that he has not done this shows that he is aware of what the truth is and would rather people guess than know for sure.


----------



## RichardRApe (Apr 12, 2021)

Guntkvd said:


> I'd say he is 5'2 and that's why he is so deeply offended when you say he is 5'1, simply because it's nat truuuuu.


_Fuck yourself you piece of shit faggot motherfucker. NO IT'S NOT TRUE! You piece of shit, and if I had to guess, it's probably YOU that's fucking 5'2 motherfucking lying, cocksucking, faggot, motherfucker! DO I LOOK 5'2 BITCH? _

He's 5'2.5!!


----------



## AnOminous (Apr 12, 2021)

Kingu Cinnamon said:


> Obviously, his height is embarrassingly short whatever the truth is, simply because the best way for Ralph to dispel these rumours would be to get someone to video him and a tape measure. The fact that he has not done this shows that he is aware of what the truth is and would rather people guess than know for sure.


The funny thing about Ralph's height is he knows he's a manlet.  The only way he could specifically prove he is not 5'1" is to prove he's some other absolute, utter manlet height.

He is a tiny man, with a tiny penis.  For some reason, he actually deliberately proved the tiny penis part with his sex tape, where he impregnated a female, and like a complete moral midget, decided to abandon the child.  Because he is not a real man.  He is a failure.


----------



## Barbarus (Apr 12, 2021)

When making comparisons with other youtubers and grifters with known heights, please make sure you take in account footwear. Ethan Ralph wears shoes and is likely wearing those little platform things in his footwear to gain height. 

Now the fight with digipedo is the biggest thing we know digi is a short as shit sack of shit. And the height was fluctuating on who was taller due to camera angles and stances. So we know that Ralph is around a 1-2 inch range less or more than digi. Digi unironically is the key to finding Ralph's true size. Find Digis true height and find the Gunt.


----------



## Estate (Apr 12, 2021)

Barbarus said:


> Now the fight with digipedo is the biggest thing we know digi is a short as shit sack of shit. And the height was fluctuating on who was taller due to camera angles and stances. So we know that Ralph is around a 1-2 inch range less or more than digi. Digi unironically is the key to finding Ralph's true size. Find Digis true height and find the Gunt.


I think you mean Riley https://twitter.com/ASEPresents instead of Digi.


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 12, 2021)

Barbarus said:


> When making comparisons with other youtubers and grifters with known heights, please make sure you take in account footwear. Ethan Ralph wears shoes and is likely wearing those little platform things in his footwear to gain height.
> 
> Now the fight with digipedo is the biggest thing we know digi is a short as shit sack of shit. And the height was fluctuating on who was taller due to camera angles and stances. So we know that Ralph is around a 1-2 inch range less or more than digi. Digi unironically is the key to finding Ralph's true size. Find Digis true height and find the Gunt.


Riley responded to someone asking about Ralph's height by saying he was much shorter. Maybe he'd be willing to provide a full profile next to a tape measure - then we can put this to bed once and for all!


----------



## Barbarus (Apr 12, 2021)

Estate said:


> I think you mean Riley https://twitter.com/ASEPresents instead of Digi.


Whoever Ralph was fighting, I know that guy said he was 4'11 or something but I don't believe any of these people for a minute


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 12, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> According to this BMI visualiser here are three visual representations on what Ralph would look at 5'1'', 5'6'' and 5'10'' if we take his word that he is 275 lbs heavy.
> 
> View attachment 2079200View attachment 2079203View attachment 2079204
> 
> Now which one do you think looks more akin to what we've seen? Personally I think that he is definitely not 5'10''.


Unlike his height, Ralph underestimates his weight. 275lbs? Probably 350lbs off.


----------



## RichardRApe (Apr 12, 2021)

Barbarus said:


> Whoever Ralph was fighting, I know that guy said he was 4'11 or something but I don't believe any of these people for a minute


Always remember when they book you they make you walk past a graded and measured wall and they record the height. They don't make mistakes like that. Ethan Ralph is 5'1.


----------



## High Tea (Apr 12, 2021)

The Digi people should put a measuring tape up to that front doorframe and then see if there is any way to compare based on the fight.


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Apr 12, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Always remember when they book you they make you walk past a graded and measured wall and they record the height. They don't make mistakes like that. Ethan Ralph is 5'1.
> View attachment 2081800


This, 100% accurate and the police would never make such a silly mistake as to measure someone incorrectly.  The brave men and women of the Denton Sheriff's Office are more trustworthy than all other parties involved.  No amount of weird photo evidence comparing him to other manlets, eye witness accounts, or autism will convince me otherwise.

Ethan Ralph is 5'1" and has a tiny penis.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 12, 2021)

Mr. Manchester said:


> This 100% accurate and the police would never make such a silly mistake as to measure someone incorrectly.  The brave men and women of the Denton Sheriff's Office are more trustworthy than all other parties involved.  No amount of weird photo evidence comparing him to other manlets, eye witness accounts, or autism will convince me otherwise.
> 
> Ethan Ralph is 5'1" and has a tiny penis.


well i mean fuck most of the evidence aligns with him being 5 foot 1 or at most allows other possibilities, ethan ralph is 5'1. its a matter of public record literally.

edit your restating he has a tiny penis is another thing we had the info on years earlier that he still denies even after literal csi tier court tier video evidence that shows he objectively has a micro cock. the cops have him dead to rights on being a manlet


----------



## DrLittleDo (Apr 13, 2021)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.
> 
> If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:
> 
> ...


very interesting picture... looks like he dont even need to wear pants as his gunt is perfectly capable of hiding his miniature penis.


----------



## Fougaro (Apr 13, 2021)

Reminder that as it stands now, Ethan Ralph is even shorter than Destiny.


----------



## GL09 (Apr 13, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> Ethan Ralph is even shorter than Destiny.


Only when standing. Luckily for Ralph he spends most of his day flat on his back drunk. Laying down he towers over Destiny.

I saw this picture in Nick's thread.



Nick is probably wearing his Tom Cruise inspired Cuban heeled shoes and as we know Ralph stands on his toes when getting his pictures taken letting his gunt hang free.


----------



## MeltyTW (Apr 14, 2021)

ralph admits he lies about his height and his bs story is he lied about 5'11 and the ink didnt transfer on the other "1" in 11 properly lmfao

5'1 confirmed


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 15, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> Reminder that as it stands now, Ethan Ralph is even shorter than Destiny.
> View attachment 2084574





Edited for accuracy.


----------



## Skarlatvoros (Apr 16, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2089226
> Edited for accuracy.


Isn't Josh fat too?


----------



## Croco (Apr 16, 2021)

He needs to get over his short man complex and get on a god damn exercise and diet plan.


----------



## Justtocheck (Apr 16, 2021)

Skarlatvoros said:


> Isn't Josh fat too?


We give him a slimjob for PR purposes in this website. If your website ain't gonna make you rich, it might as well make you thin and handsome.

Edit: He'd still need a spoon with which he's gonna FEED with.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Apr 17, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2089226
> Edited for accuracy.


Wait, has Josh actually stated his height?


----------



## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 17, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> Wait, has Josh actually stated his height?


Multiple times.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Apr 17, 2021)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> Multiple times.


What is it?


----------



## Fslur (Apr 17, 2021)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> What is it?


He told me 5’10 and he also said he was 5’11 (which I don’t believe anyone is actually 5’11 at this point) photo from the Q Documentary


----------



## Null (Apr 17, 2021)

I am 5'10  

I've never seen that picture before. Feels like a long time ago. I had a lot of fun in Japan and I miss the good times of 8chan.


----------



## RichardRApe (Apr 17, 2021)

Null said:


> I am 5'10
> 
> I've never seen that picture before. Feels like a long time ago. I had a lot of fun in Japan and I miss the good times of 8chan.


Post a shoulder up video to twitter of you standing next to a doorway with a measuring tape.


----------



## Paddy O' Furniture (Apr 18, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Post a shoulder up video to twitter of you standing next to a doorway with a measuring tape.


Think of how much tiny dick anger will come out of the Gunt! (This can only go well!)


----------



## LordofCringe7206 (Apr 18, 2021)

Fslur said:


> He told me 5’10 and he also said he was 5’11 (which I don’t believe anyone is actually 5’11 at this point) photo from the Q Documentary View attachment 2095429


Not to derail from Ralph, but Josh here looks like a younger version of A. Wyatt Mann.


----------



## Cow Poly (Apr 19, 2021)

Fslur said:


> He told me 5’10 and he also said he was 5’11 (which I don’t believe anyone is actually 5’11 at this point) photo from the Q Documentary View attachment 2095429


We have recently seen the 5'10" Chad Null on HBO*.... we have recently seen the 4'9" Virgin Ralph on a zipperhead Twitch clone.
*"Into The Storm" episode 3


----------



## PlasticOwls (Apr 19, 2021)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Interesting. The top one fits his gunt profile the best of the three, although to be honest even that one lacks Ethan's extensive gunt overhang and sheer mass. So either he is lying about his height, or his weight, or more likely both.
> 
> If I had to guess I would say he's probably around 5'6 and 350 lbs, which gives us this result:
> 
> ...


1. The legs of the BMI visualizer aren't angled to the photo and too long anyway.

2. The ass in the visualizer is way too thicc for Ralph. 

3. Not enough of a gunt.


----------



## White Pride Worldwide (Apr 20, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Imagine being a midget in so many ways, literally midget height, mentally a midget, a moral midget, and having a micropenis.  There is nothing large about this man other than his weight.  He is a midget by every other conceivable measure.


You forgot his small and dwindling audience base


----------



## Anonymus Fluhre (Apr 22, 2021)

PlasticOwls said:


> bit busy today, but I'll do you a solid, and turn Ralph's position upright and manipulate the photo's camera angle to something more level and even.
> 
> Good luck to all Gunt height fact checkers.
> 
> View attachment 2058384


I'm a bit late in posting but Ralph has what is called "rounded shoulders" due to poor posture sitting on chairs all day leaning forward, and due to being fat. That can decrease the height by 1-2 inches. If he doesn't do anything about that, that will be a permanent loss of height.


----------



## TriggerMeElmo (Apr 22, 2021)

Anonymus Fluhre said:


> I'm a bit late in posting but Ralph has what is called "rounded shoulders" due to poor posture sitting on chairs all day leaning forward, and due to being fat. That can decrease the height by 1-2 inches. If he doesn't do anything about that, that will be a permanent loss of height.


Ralph gets winded walking two blocks. Also lol "sitting on chairs" very accurate.


----------



## KhorneFlakes (Apr 24, 2021)

Found this and thought it was surprisingly prevalent..


----------



## Seminal Ointments Lain (May 13, 2021)

My 9 inch trash-covered cock will make up the remaining height.


----------



## Shitmonger (May 18, 2021)

Late and gay enough that it's probably not relevant but what the hell.


AltisticRight said:


> What's the height of the bollard? Typically, they can be 16-25 inches. We can see it's taller than the wheels, so perhaps using wheels with known regulated diameters of 18 inches is a better choice. Anyway, it'll be easy to redo bits of this for the wheels. The height of the bollard is likely 54-62cm.
> View attachment 2060187
> 
> I'll redo this for the wheel later. The pig can grunt about his supposed 5'11 all he likes, these bollards are obviously not anywhere near 70cm tall.





> these bollards are obviously not anywhere near 70cm tall.



They're taller than that.  In the US they are called traffic delineators and the standard/most common height is 106 cm (42").

16-25" (knee height, give or take) is too short to be seen from inside a car and is not going to be used much outside of sidewalks and parking lots in the US.  In fact it isn't legal to use something that short to direct/guide traffic in most areas due to the visibility issue.  The ones in the picture are reasonably tall compared to the compact cars they are next to, coming up to around window height.  If you focus on the street you can get a better idea of the height in comparison to the cars:



They look similar to these (note the height next to compact cars):

Since they look like they're fixed to the road they could be as small as 36"/91 cm, but they are not shorter than that.

Ralph is a short little fuck, but a lot of these photoshop methods are also janky as shit.  According to that chart he'd be a giant which obviously isn't the case.


Speaking of knee-height, look at how tiny his little fucking legs are lmao.  That's all the proof you need right there.  I bet my foot is nearly as long as his shin from knee to ankle.


----------



## MeltyTW (May 18, 2021)

Shitmonger said:


> Ralph is a short little fuck, but a lot of these photoshop methods are also janky as shit. According to that chart he'd be a giant which obviously isn't the case.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


lol the infamous vape pen


----------



## AnOminous (May 24, 2021)

Shitmonger said:


> View attachment 2181804
> Speaking of knee-height, look at how tiny his little fucking legs are lmao.  That's all the proof you need right there.  I bet my foot is nearly as long as his shin from knee to ankle.


Fucker is shaped like Mr. Potato Head.


----------



## Ralphamale (May 24, 2021)

Shitmonger said:


> View attachment 2181804
> Speaking of knee-height, look at how tiny his little fucking legs are lmao.  That's all the proof you need right there.  I bet my foot is nearly as long as his shin from knee to ankle.


They're idiots for not just leaving Ralph on the beach.


----------



## Keranu (May 24, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Fucker is shaped like Mr. Potato Head.


----------



## MeltyTW (May 24, 2021)

Ralphamale said:


> They're idiots for not just leaving Ralph on the beach.


fucking imagine how much kino wed have missed if ethan exploded on the beach like a whale though.


----------



## Keranu (May 26, 2021)

Baked Alaska and Chaggot were just measured live ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzUSVhxAQts )

Chaggot measured at 5'8" and 3/4 of an inch. Baked was half an inch shorter than Chaggot.

So neither Baked nor Chaggot are even 5'9", which is what Ralph claims himself to be. Further proof that Ralph is not even 5'9".


----------



## Chive Turkey (May 28, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> I'd like to post some pictures of what a 5'2", 270 lb male looks like, but apparently only women are that short.


It's pretty short even for a woman. 





If this nigga really is 4'9-5'1 then he's not just in turbomanlet territory, he's being dwarfed by malnourished Third World womanlets.


----------



## George Cuckzunian (May 30, 2021)

I'm just going to take this to it's logical conclusion and state what everyone is thinking.
The government record stating Ralph is 5'1 is an error from the person inputing the data getting mixed up  and was supposed to read 1ft 5.


----------



## Keranu (Jul 9, 2021)

*For (autistic) documentation purposes*

On today's Tequila Sunrise, Ralph says Josh is a fat ass and is 5'10" in height and "only a couple inches" taller than him. He says Josh is around 280lbs or so and thus concludes that "Josh is only slightly skinnier than I am."

Ralph then admits he is himself 5'8" or 5'9"

After the great pedo house gunt battle a few months ago, I believe Ralph described himself as 5'9" or 5'10"

I can't get over how inconsistent he is with his self claimed height. It's like he can't decide at any given moment what height sounds most believable.

He's clearly at or near 5'1".


----------



## Bepis (Jul 27, 2021)

Ralph is just dyslexic and misplaced his 0. He's actually 5'1" and 2750 lbs.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Jul 27, 2021)

*"DO I LOOK FIVE ONE, BITCH???"*


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Jul 27, 2021)

He's not even bothered by it, btw.


----------



## Sam Losco (Jul 27, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> He's not even bothered by it, btw.


Oh here we go again with the stupid MMA shit. Ralph, you couldn't even stay in a fucking WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE and we're expected to believe you'll show up to a fight... that you have to fight in?


----------



## Jack Awful (Jul 27, 2021)

Ralph poses with notorious short man Jesse Lee Peterson.


----------



## Sam Losco (Jul 27, 2021)

Why does he always point at the other person in the photo with him?


----------



## Gone Ham (Jul 27, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> Why does he always point at the other person in the photo with him?


Because even he is surprised that he can get a Z-list celebrity to pose for a picture with him.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Jul 28, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Ralph poses with notorious short man Jesse Lee Peterson.
> 
> View attachment 2384795View attachment 2384796


*AUUURGHH, IT'S NOT TRUUUUUU. I'M ALMOST AS TALL AS JESSE LEE PETERSON WHO'S A MANLET HIMSELF*


----------



## MeltyTW (Jul 28, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Ralph poses with notorious short man Jesse Lee Peterson.
> 
> View attachment 2384795View attachment 2384796


Lmfao he looks like samwise gamgee the fucking abolsute state of this hobbit


----------



## Oliveoil (Jul 28, 2021)

So Google is bullshit as it has JPL at 6.4 feet.
Torque is 6.5 and from that pic it looks like he is a good foot shorter.


----------



## AnIntrepidCrow (Jul 28, 2021)

Perhaps the gunt is slowly eating away at Ralph's spine, like a parasitic wasp larvae devouring its host, and causing him to rapidly shrink. He'll be 4'7 by this time next year.


----------



## Hüftpriester (Jul 28, 2021)

Ralph is always his own worst enemy. Posting the pic with JLP was a big mistake, since Jesse is always taking pictures with various political hacks. Here's one with Donna Brazile, most well known for passing questions to Hillary before one of the debates in 2016. Well done Ralph, you've proven you're roughly the same height as an elderly black woman. You just keep winning.



The obese manlet continues to spiral, vows to release an official measurement video later this week


----------



## Shiggy Diggster (Jul 28, 2021)

I'll only accept evidence he provides about his height if it's done in a police station by professional height takers. This would actually be a good bit for the show, so you won't do it, you fat bitchmade faggot devoid of chill.

Seriously, Gunt. If it's not signed off on by a doctor, nurse, or cop you're still a manlet faggot. Cops love you, right? Go get the cops to do the bit and only then are you not 5'1". You can even say that you're there because they got it wrong the first time and you demand the record to be corrected. Wait, n/m I'm doing show prep for Gunt and that's Gaydur's job to come up with ideas, because you win through comedy, you win through wit. I'll stay in my own lane, bud.


----------



## YMB (Jul 28, 2021)

5'1" Tall 

5'1" Wide


----------



## No. 7 cat (Jul 28, 2021)

Jackie Puppet said:


> 5'1" Tall
> 
> 5'1" Wide


Maybe Ralph is 5'8", 5'8" wide.


----------



## RichardRApe (Jul 28, 2021)

Harlay de Champvallon said:


> Maybe Ralph is 5'8", 5'8" wide.







I'm not 5'1 you lying cocksucking faggot broke dick pedophile farmers I'm only an inch shorter than Miss Donna Brazile.


----------



## Jack Awful (Jul 28, 2021)

Shiggy Diggster said:


> I'll only accept evidence he provides about his height if it's done in a police station by professional height takers.


This is why I believe his canon height is 5'1. He's clearly too emotionally invested in "proving" otherwise and does anyone here actually believe he wouldn't fudge the results if he did on his own?

The most trustworthy source yet says 5'1, Ralph's a known liar, he's 5'1.


----------



## cistendered (Jul 28, 2021)

Hüftpriester said:


> Ralph is always his own worst enemy. Posting the pic with JLP was a big mistake, since Jesse is always taking pictures with various political hacks. Here's one with Donna Brazile, most well known for passing questions to Hillary before one of the debates in 2016. Well done Ralph, you've proven you're roughly the same height as an elderly black woman. You just keep winning.
> View attachment 2385979
> The obese manlet continues to spiral, vows to release an official measurement video later this week
> View attachment 2386001


If he does the measurement and there's still debate about his height afterwards it's because he's going to do some gay shit to fuck with the measurement. He's going to do something like not show his feet and have the measuring tape lifted off the ground, or be wearing his Timberlands, or bend/slant the measuring tape to obscure and increase the measurement. 

If he's legit 5'8"-5'9" as he most recently claimed it would be the easiest thing in the world to prove. But he's lied so much about his height before, and relies on skewed pictures of him standing next to people to demonstrate a relative height. All kidding aside I think he's 5'2"-5'3", there's ample evidence to back this up, and he's going to have to produce a well documented measurement to convince me otherwise.


----------



## Rosemary (Jul 28, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> View attachment 2386094
> View attachment 2386090I'm not 5'1 you lying cocksucking faggot broke dick pedophile farmers I'm only an inch shorter than Miss Donna Brazile.
> View attachment 2386098


Are we sure Donna Brazile is 5' 3"? I looked it up and I mostly saw sites claiming she's around 5' 6".


Spoiler: All the sites on the first page that show her height



marriedbiography.com (5' 7")
mddailyrecord.com (5' 6")
famousbirthsdeaths.com (5' 6")
thewealthrecord.com (5' 6")
biographyline.com (5' 6")
factsbuddy.com (5' 5")
wealthypersons.com (5' 3")


----------



## MeltyTW (Jul 28, 2021)

Hüftpriester said:


> Ralph is always his own worst enemy. Posting the pic with JLP was a big mistake, since Jesse is always taking pictures with various political hacks. Here's one with Donna Brazile, most well known for passing questions to Hillary before one of the debates in 2016. Well done Ralph, you've proven you're roughly the same height as an elderly black woman. You just keep winning.
> View attachment 2385979
> The obese manlet continues to spiral, vows to release an official measurement video later this week
> View attachment 2386001


Lol he's already preempting people rightfully calling him out for fudging the results. You already did a shifty obviously fake measuring tape ralpj lol


----------



## AnOminous (Jul 28, 2021)

Why is this midget so angry about people pointing out that he's a fat manlet who is short enough to be in the Lollipop Guild?


----------



## George Cuckzunian (Jul 28, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Why is this midget so angry about people pointing out that he's a fat manlet who is short enough to be in the Lollipop Guild?


because he legit thinks he use his words to destort the fabric of reality to prevent people for acknowledging objective reality and empirical observations in real life.

Oh, wanna see something funny, Go back and rewatch any streams where Ralph and Pantsu are standing Next to each other (sorry I am too lazy of an f-slur to post it myself). Pantsu says ralph is taller than her.... But observation and video evidence says otherwise.


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Jul 28, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Why is this midget so angry about people pointing out that he's a fat manlet who is short enough to be in the Lollipop Guild?


The truth hurts.


----------



## AnOminous (Jul 28, 2021)

George Cuckzunian said:


> because he legit thinks he use his words to destort the fabric of reality to prevent people for acknowledging objective reality and empirical observations in real life.


So he's basically mentally a tranny except instead of thinking he's a woman, he manages somehow to think he's normal height while having to crane his neck upwards to look at a short woman's chin.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Jul 28, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> View attachment 2386094
> View attachment 2386090I'm not 5'1 you lying cocksucking faggot broke dick pedophile farmers I'm only an inch shorter than Miss Donna Brazile.
> View attachment 2386098


And Jesse is hunched in slightly too.


----------



## RichardRApe (Jul 28, 2021)

Rosemary said:


> Are we sure Donna Brazile is 5' 3"? I looked it up and I mostly saw sites claiming she's around 5' 6".
> 
> 
> Spoiler: All the sites on the first page that show her height
> ...


Yeah but then there's the last one. Everyone lies about their height upwards.


----------



## Jack Awful (Jul 28, 2021)

George Cuckzunian said:


> because he legit thinks he use his words to destort the fabric of reality to prevent people for acknowledging objective reality and empirical observations in real life.
> 
> Oh, wanna see something funny, Go back and rewatch any streams where Ralph and Pantsu are standing Next to each other (sorry I am too lazy of an f-slur to post it myself). Pantsu says ralph is taller than her.... But observation and video evidence says otherwise.


Nah, he thinks he's smart enough to deceive literally everyone and is insecure because shorter people are often mocked.


----------



## Shakka Ahmose (Jul 28, 2021)

Ralph measure in cm to make yourself look taller.


----------



## GL09 (Jul 28, 2021)

The taller Ralph is the more embarrassingly small his dick becomes. There's just no winning.


----------



## Tom Myers (Jul 28, 2021)

DO I LOOK FIVE ONE BITCH?


----------



## MeltyTW (Jul 28, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Why is this midget so angry about people pointing out that he's a fat manlet who is short enough to be in the Lollipop Guild?


because his entire cope for not being able to control his impulses enough to be a decent human being is that it doesnt matter because he "got his" and is tall wealthy etc and that no moralistic seethe and cope can topple the ralphamale. he can cope with nearly everything else about this amoral chad wealth strength and popularity attitude, from lack of skill or money or friends etc but removing the very core of his self deluded image? that hes not tall, has a micro cock that cant bring a woman to orgasm and might not even be able to father children and is fat and weak and gets winded walking a step means everything else necessarily falls apart with no cope to retreat into or down to. you can be a handsome poor man but having to hide in knoxville being laughed at for your gunt and yoba baked hair is something that just gives us ammo and you cant really come back from no matter how many jim bucks or matt streams or what have you you have.


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Jul 28, 2021)

What gets me is that he gets a lot angrier about being called a tiny short man than he does about being told he has a micro penis.  Then again he did say on one stream the one thing that makes him extra mad is when people make up lies about him.  So maybe he's not that short after all, just has a tiny dick.

Strange priorities but okay.


----------



## AnOminous (Jul 28, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Nah, he thinks he's smart enough to deceive literally everyone and is insecure because shorter people are often mocked.


They got little hands, little eyes
They walk around tellin' great big lies
They got little noses, tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet


----------



## SargonF00t (Jul 28, 2021)

Tom Myers said:


> DO I LOOK FIVE ONE BITCH?


Yes


----------



## Morch Ponkey (Jul 28, 2021)

I think that every time Ralph gets owned he shrinks several picometers.

Over time it adds up.


----------



## Mr Moonface (Jul 28, 2021)

He's white trash and an alcoholic, he'll be arrested again sooner rather than later, then 5'1'' will be confirmed again.


----------



## AnOminous (Jul 28, 2021)

Mr Moonface said:


> He's white trash and an alcoholic, he'll be arrested again sooner rather than later, then 5'1'' will be confirmed again.


It would be funny if he lost another inch thanks to the Gunt and gravity.


----------



## Retrodogkiller (Jul 28, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> It would be funny if he lost another inch thanks to the Gunt and gravity.


The concentrated density of his mass when he hits 4'9" in a year is terrifying to think of.


----------



## JustSomeDong (Jul 28, 2021)

Carrying that gunt has to be doing some damage to his back.  Women with large breasts get massive back problems, and tend to have bad posture.  Gunt induced osteoporosis will just make him shorter as he ages, and give him a pronounced hump.  But the beetus and blood clots will likely get his legs before then.


----------



## Cucktry Roads (Jul 29, 2021)

I was relistening to PPP's stream the other day. He said something along the lines of Warski being around 5'8. Are there any pics of warski standing next to Ralph.


----------



## Retrodogkiller (Jul 29, 2021)

How short are all these fucks? This is a confirmed picture of Andy and metokur.


----------



## Ayaa (Jul 29, 2021)

Retrodogkiller said:


> How short are all these fucks? This is a confirmed picture of Andy and metokur.  View attachment 2388443


I'm pretty sure that's just a sperg larping being metokur, iirc metokur directly responded to this pic on Twitter saying it wasn't him.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Jul 29, 2021)

Wew. Now my username is incorrect. I have been defeated! MY MISTAKE.
Ralph is a few inches taller than a dwarf. So that's at least something.


----------



## SargonF00t (Jul 29, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> Wew. Now my username is incorrect. I have been defeated! MY MISTAKE.
> Ralph is a few inches taller than a dwarf. So that's at least something.


Ralph is likely to be wearing lifts in his shoes, so your username may be spot on.


----------



## JewBacca (Jul 29, 2021)

I really don't see the point of comparing height from photos with other online losers. We have official documentation from his various arrest records. He tried playing it off at different times as an error or the officer didn't press hard enough on a carbon copy.  None of these feeble excuses accounts for the error in his metric measurements.

Christ Ralph, you're a midget, live with it. At this point it's not even in the top ten of your most embarrassing attributes, to be frank. Not really sure what you hope to gain from this fantasy of being tall. You're doing nothing but embarrassing yourself further. Hard to believe that is even possible for someone of your caliber, yet here we are.

Do I look 5'1"?

Yes Ralph you do.


----------



## Ragnarlodbrok (Jul 29, 2021)

Retrodogkiller said:


> How short are all these fucks? This is a confirmed picture of Andy and metokur.  View attachment 2388443


Wasn't that @Flamenco ?


----------



## instythot (Jul 30, 2021)

Ragnarlodbrok said:


> Wasn't that @Flamenco ?


Flamenco did the Jim cosplay at some con. Wasn't Dax the fake Jim in the Knoxville photos?


----------



## Burd Turglar (Jul 30, 2021)

Ralph is just tall enough to catch these hands.


----------



## AnOminous (Jul 30, 2021)

Burd Turglar said:


> Ralph is just tall enough to catch these hands.


Ralph is just tall enough to give you a blowjob without even getting on his knees, and his flat-topped head would give you a place to put your beer while you face fucked his fat face.


----------



## Burd Turglar (Jul 30, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Ralph is just tall enough to give you a blowjob without even getting on his knees, and his flat-topped head would give you a place to put your beer while you face fucked his fat face.


Ralph is fat and I would not have face sex with him.


----------



## RichardRApe (Jul 30, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Ralph is just tall enough to give you a blowjob without even getting on his knees, and his flat-topped head would give you a place to put your beer while you face fucked his fat face.


Don't hog all the fun, Eagle Eyes wants in on that.


----------



## MeltyTW (Jul 30, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1" said:


> Wew. Now my username is incorrect. I have been defeated! MY MISTAKE.
> Ralph is a few inches taller than a dwarf. So that's at least something.


forget the height a second look at how thumb like his head is, its like the head version of a cankle, where the fuck does your neck begin or end ralph? your shoulders? youre rapidly morphing into fucking mr potatohead 



JewBacca said:


> . Not really sure what you hope to gain from this fantasy of being tall.


not even tall he admits to being a manlet i think the lowest one head admitted to is 5'4, so hes still a fucking midget whether we give him the three inches aka a memphis micro of height back.


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Jul 30, 2021)

Burd Turglar said:


> Ralph is just tall enough to catch these hands.


The sad truth of Ralph and Faith's breakup is that Disney addict Faith just couldn't imagine a future where Dad couldn't join her and Xander on the rides.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Jul 30, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> forget the height a second look at how thumb like his head is, its like the head version of a cankle, where the fuck does your neck begin or end ralph? your shoulders? youre rapidly morphing into fucking mr potatohead


Yeah, looks weird as hell.
He's just incredibly dysgenic in general.


----------



## CookofDoom242 (Jul 31, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> Yeah, looks weird as hell.
> He's just incredibly dysgenic in general.


Confirmed 5'8'' you stupid kike. Change your avatar you do not have the right to use our fuher's image and our people's symbol to slander a man who platforms our guys.


----------



## Keranu (Jul 31, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> Why does he always point at the other person in the photo with him?


Because he thinks he is black.

[west] MEMPHOS TENN!!


----------



## Hüftpriester (Jul 31, 2021)

CookofDoom242 said:


> our fuher's image


You are a retard and Hitler would be disgusted with you and your anime perversion. At least spell Fuhrer right, faggot.


----------



## STN (Jul 31, 2021)

He is 5'2". He doesn't even qualify as a manlet. He is a speedbump.


----------



## Cherenkovblue (Jul 31, 2021)

Hüftpriester said:


> You are a retard and Hitler would be disgusted with you and your anime perversion. At least spell Fuhrer right, faggot.


Do you perhaps mean *Führer *you autistic clown?


----------



## Marshal Mannerheim (Jul 31, 2021)

CookofDoom242 said:


> our people's symbol


You're a Hindu?


----------



## Hüftpriester (Aug 1, 2021)

Proof of the hoof 



Could Ralph actually be the world's tallest pig?


----------



## Dick Molesterson (Aug 1, 2021)

Hüftpriester said:


> Proof of the hoof
> View attachment 2400691
> Could Ralph actually be the world's tallest pig?


He really does look like some creature you'd come across while traveling through alternate dimensions in a Clive Barker novel.


----------



## Hüftpriester (Aug 1, 2021)

Dick Molesterson said:


> He really does look like some creature you'd come across while traveling through alternate dimensions in a Clive Barker novel.


ManletBearPig


----------



## Rei is shit (Aug 1, 2021)

If someone goes to where Chris was arrested with a tape measure and gets the height of the two fences, then his height could be pretty accurately measured. Not that I doubt the police report or anything.


----------



## Hex Cat (Aug 1, 2021)

CookofDoom242 said:


> Confirmed 5'8'' you stupid kike. Change your avatar you do not have the right to use our fuher's image and our people's symbol to slander a man who platforms our guys.


Every time you type "Fuhrer" you find a new way to misspell it


----------



## Never Scored (Aug 2, 2021)

Rei is shit said:


> If someone goes to where Chris was arrested with a tape measure and gets the height of the two fences, then his height could be pretty accurately measured. Not that I doubt the police report or anything.
> View attachment 2400973


Assuming those other two dudes are about average size, you can clearly see how short he is. If he were really 5'9" he would have measured himself on stream by now to put a stop to people making fun of his height.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Aug 2, 2021)

Does anyone still have the video of the Knoxville nonfight, where Andy comes in with a wheelchair? Dax was there and claims he’s 6’ even.


----------



## Punished 🌍 (Aug 2, 2021)

Is that Gaytor on the far right of that photo ?


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Aug 3, 2021)

*Ralph proclaims that he's 5'8" now and has another win over the alogs.
He sure shrunk some lately. He was 5'11" a couple years ago, as seen in the pic.
Must be that gunt weighing him down.
But never the less, he's 5'8" now, and you should definitely believe him this time around.*


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Aug 12, 2021)

The tale of the Memphis Manlet continues.
Here's an estimation of Ralph next to Isabella Loretta Janke who's 5'10" or 6'0", according to current information.
Very unfortunate is all I'll say.


----------



## Mr.Downer (Aug 12, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> The tale of the Memphis Manlet continues.
> Here's an estimation of Ralph next to Isabella Loretta Janke who's 5'10" or 6'0", according to current information.
> Very unfortunate is all I'll say.


I love this picture of ralph, after his infamous gunt pic, he swaps out that yellow shirt for a long red one which is conveniently long enough to cover any possible gunt leaks


----------



## HomerSimpson (Aug 14, 2021)

Rei is shit said:


> If someone goes to where Chris was arrested with a tape measure and gets the height of the two fences, then his height could be pretty accurately measured. Not that I doubt the police report or anything.
> View attachment 2400973


The idea of finding this exact spot just to measure the fences to see how tall ralph is is beautiful.

Also, dunno if anyone posted it yet, but I found an actual picture of ralph hanging with some friends.





I made it with my phone, be nice. Also, I do like how I used duckduckgo to find the transparent gunt, and it brought me to he farms lol.


----------



## FuzzMushr00m (Aug 14, 2021)

I think it's fair to say Ethan Ralph is a microorganism


----------



## AltisticRight (Aug 17, 2021)

The swine is 5.4 times taller than that megaphone. 



This is an over-estimate, the base is actually sloped.

So how tall is the base of that statue? 1.2m? 1.5m? However, it's not exactly on the same plane which makes the megaphone longer.

Either way, there's no way the megaphone is remotely above 30cm, or else the base itself would be more or less 170cm, which is similar to the gunt's self-proclaimed 5'8''. 

I'm getting good at these, this one took 10 minutes. 

Manlet.


----------



## GaryGrey (Aug 20, 2021)

Well if someone wants here is a clear shot of him standing straight up against a statue in Virginia.  If someone knows how tall that granite base is one could get a definitive height.  Though with Ralph's gunt compressing his spine his height would need to be updated every six months as he shrinks faster than a Japanese woman after menopause.

Image came from this video of him talking about the mask mandate in Virginia  https://youtu.be/Jdwh1Fviv2c?t=36
And on the topic oh height all his proportions seem off (torso to leg, torso to arm). This is shown well when Ralph is sitting down.


Ralph at a Virginia anime convention https://youtu.be/t5PHwr0xZLs


----------



## OffRecord (Aug 20, 2021)

Fslur said:


> @aediot you met him irl how tall would you estimate Ralph to be?
> 
> Ok going back to a 2016 post made by Ralph, he said in jail they confirmed he was 5’8View attachment 2041932
> 
> ...


He likely photochopped in the ‘0’.  It should say 5’1.


----------



## RichardRApe (Aug 20, 2021)

OffRecord said:


> He likely photochopped in the ‘0’.  It should say 5’1.


I mean take a look at him struggling to walk up a single step and you just know. 

I made a recreation of it to scale and the math checks out. You can see it says 5'1 next to his head so you know everything's above board (except his eye-line or the top of his head).


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Aug 20, 2021)

GaryGrey said:


> Well if someone wants here is a clear shot of him standing straight up against a statue in Virginia.  If someone knows how tall that granite base is one could get a definitive height.  Though with Ralph's gunt compressing his spine his height would need to be updated every six months as he shrinks faster than a Japanese woman after menopause.
> View attachment 2463459
> Image came from this video of him talking about the mask mandate in Virginia  https://youtu.be/Jdwh1Fviv2c?t=36
> And on the topic oh height all his proportions seem off (torso to leg, torso to arm). This is shown well when Ralph is sitting down.





Lincoln is 8ft, but the base is 5 3/4ft (I think that makes it what, 5'9).

Edit:
So me and some of the boys down the lab have final, definitive proof of Ralphs height! He's 5'2.5. See, he's not 5'1 you filthy aylawgs.


----------



## Rei is shit (Aug 21, 2021)

Just to independently check the above. Using the power of photogrammetry and a pirated copy of sketchup, a photo match is performed on a photo of the statue. 


Assuming the information on that website is true, the section of the base directly behind ralph is ~ 44 inches tall. 

Then the same is done with a screencap of ralph. 


This results in an estimated height just below 5'2 (actually 5' 1.68 lmao) 

Take away the hat and shoes, then the chance of 5'1 being nawt tru is pretty low.


----------



## AltisticRight (Aug 21, 2021)

HomerSimpson said:


> The idea of finding this exact spot just to measure the fences to see how tall ralph is is beautiful.
> 
> Also, dunno if anyone posted it yet, but I found an actual picture of ralph hanging with some friends.
> 
> ...


Tardigrades, also known as water bears are wholesome creatures and comparing them to the fucking west Memphis hog is unwarranted. 

They can survive centuries of stasis and will survive space. What positive value does the gunt offer to science?
(The image is from a scanning electron microscope and colours are fake, it's not really a photo since photons aren't involved)

Anyway, I copied my photoshop autism over too, all the evidence points towards him being more or less 5'1''.


----------



## bile demon (Aug 21, 2021)

OffRecord said:


> He likely photochopped in the ‘0’.  It should say 5’1.


If you zoom in on the 0, you can clearly see the edges of the rectangular selection and the whole area of it being a slightly darker color. He took one of the zeros from his birthdate and shooped it into the height measurement.


----------



## AltisticRight (Aug 21, 2021)

coping reddit nigger said:


> If you zoom in on the 0, you can clearly see the edges of the rectangular selection and the whole area of it being a slightly darker color. He took one of the zeros from his birthdate and shooped it into the height measurement.


You're actually correct, nice catch.




He even shopped his fucking year of birth.

Nice alignment you smelly pig, where did you learn the stamp tool, did you know the brush size can be adjusted?




Ok?




These.



Compare them to the two fives.




Perfectly straight line.













So in the court of law, there's this legal maxim thing, Falsus In Uno, Falsus In Omnibus. 
Basically lie once, the rest is assumed as inaccurate from witnesses, who give false testimony under oath. 

Nice job gunt, at least pay someone $5 on Fiver to do it for you.

Conclusion, the 93485835th time: Ethan Oliver Ralph is 5'1'', we love our cops, our law enforcement, Ralph is fat and sex, I will not have with him.


----------



## Mr Moonface (Aug 21, 2021)

God damn, I love the autism in this place. Imagine being such an insecure manlet that you'd go to such lengths to hide it. 

Forever 5'1" gunt, die mad about it.


----------



## bile demon (Aug 21, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> You're actually correct, nice catch.
> View attachment 2465888
> He even shopped his fucking year of birth.
> 
> ...


Excellent analysis. Now that it has been firmly established that while the 1 is native to the height measurement window, the 0 is clearly of alien origin, we are left with two possibilities:

A) The original measurement was 5' 1" and Ralph made himself significantly taller

B) The original measurement was 5' 11'' and Ralph made himself slightly shorter

Since it makes no sense for the abominable pigman to make his already grotesque body even shorter than the cruel reality, we can (once again) safely conclude that _*FIVE ft ONE in *_is indeed the canonical height of the Gunt.


----------



## HomerSimpson (Aug 21, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> Tardigrades, also known as water bears are wholesome creatures and comparing them to the fucking west Memphis hog is unwarranted.
> 
> They can survive centuries of stasis and will survive space. What positive value does the gunt offer to science?
> (The image is from a scanning electron microscope and colours are fake, it's not really a photo since photons aren't involved)
> ...


I'll make a better one tomorrow then. Which I think might make him even smaller. Possibly. Gotta find the picture first.


----------



## Slimy Time (Aug 21, 2021)

Mr Moonface said:


> God damn, I love the autism in this place. Imagine being such an insecure manlet that you'd go to such lengths to hide it.
> 
> Forever 5'1" gunt, die mad about it.


If he went "yeah I am, so what?" then what are people going to do? They can make fun of his height but if he's not bothered by it then it doesn't land as well. By being so insecure it makes all this autism really funny.


----------



## Sam Losco (Aug 21, 2021)

Didn't he just have Pantsu measure him at 5'8" for the weight loss shit? So now I guess his claim isn't that they fucked up with the 5'1" but that they actually measured him 2 inches taller then he really is. You know he's lying because it keeps changing.


----------



## Tom Myers (Aug 21, 2021)

DO I LOOK FIVE ONE BITCH?


----------



## Paddy O' Furniture (Aug 21, 2021)

Tom Myers said:


> DO I LOOK FIVE ONE BITCH?


I hope the next time he asks someone that they say he just looks a plain old 5'. Matches the tiny cock.


----------



## Oliveoil (Aug 21, 2021)

Why is he so touchy about his height. I do not understand.


----------



## MeltyTW (Aug 21, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> You're actually correct, nice catch.
> View attachment 2465888
> He even shopped his fucking year of birth.
> 
> ...


holy shit you just confirmed 5'1 without doubt, ITSS TROOOO MANLET CONFIRMED ralph btfo for fucking ever, we did it we got em. the farms literally and figurately towering over the dwarfism struck lil bitch:




lmfao wait a minute ralph nooooo!:


----------



## Rei is shit (Aug 21, 2021)

Ralph is literally at the bottom of the bell curve. But he is 3 inches taller than midget height!


----------



## AnOminous (Aug 21, 2021)

Oliveoil said:


> Why is he so touchy about his height. I do not understand.


Napoleon was 5'6" which was actually average for the time.  Now his dick was incredibly tiny, but that's another issue, but unlike being short, one that the Gunt actually shares with him.


----------



## Meckhlorde (Aug 21, 2021)

I think Ralph is 5'3 since Fai Fai said she had a 6'3 boyfriend. It would totally be a woman move to say they are dating someone a foot taller than their last boyfriend.


----------



## OffRecord (Aug 23, 2021)

According to this article about the Average women’s height by country, Ralph is as tall as the average Nigerian woman, just shy from the average Chinese woman.









						Average Height for Women Worldwide (Stats Inside)
					

Ever wondered how your height compares to women around the world? Height provides clues about more than the individual. It also shows health trends and human development over time.




					www.medicinenet.com


----------



## DarkSoulsPhil (Aug 23, 2021)

What a fucking manlet.

I normally dont give a shit about someones height (being 6ft hardly makes height an ossue for me) but one of the funniest things in the world is watching a guy get super defensive over their height. The lengths he has gone to deny his true 5'1 stature (photoshop, multile claimed heights, pantsu measuring him, being almost as wide as he is tall etc) is amazing.  Ive never seen someone like this.


----------



## AltisticRight (Aug 23, 2021)

Tom Myers said:


> DO I LOOK FIVE ONE BITCH?


Yeah, you do Ralph.



DarkSoulsPhil said:


> The lengths he has gone to


Yes, and none of these lengths were factual.


----------



## Sheryl Nome (Aug 23, 2021)

Only a man who is just over 5'1 would lose his top at being called 5'1.


----------



## Keranu (Aug 29, 2021)

Oliveoil said:


> Why is he so touchy about his height. I do not understand.


Needs photoshoped with Ralph's potato head, a gunt, and a trash burger clenched in Napoleon's left hand.

"Why fat kids are short"









						Why Fat Kids Are Short
					

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:Reddit ▶ https://www.reddit.com/r/TheLongLived/FOR GENETIC ANALYSIS & CONSULTATIONS:Website ▶ https://www.leoandlongevity.comTO READ MY AR...




					youtu.be


----------



## AltisticRight (Sep 14, 2021)

About 5 inches of an overestimation there. Can gunt sue for slander?


----------



## veri (Sep 14, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2535391
> About 5 inches of an overestimation there. Can gunt sue for slander?



oh shit maybe there is some hope for a win for ralph. he should take your idea into consideration he needs all he can get after that blog post he submitted to the court.


----------



## Monkey Type-I.N.G (Sep 14, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2535391
> About 5 inches of an overestimation there. Can gunt sue for slander?


still non-debatable manlet status. tall as fuck in bolivia though


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Sep 14, 2021)

coping reddit nigger said:


> A) The original measurement was 5' 1" and Ralph made himself significantly taller
> 
> B) The original measurement was 5' 11'' and Ralph made himself slightly shorter


He's 5'11" as proven by multiple tweets.
If this is not enough evidence, then I don't know what to tell you, alogs.


----------



## No. 7 cat (Sep 14, 2021)

Maybe 5' 11 in Ralph feet and inches. 4" 9 to 5" 1 in reality.


----------



## AltisticRight (Sep 15, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> He's 5'11" as proven by multiple tweets.
> If this is not enough evidence, then I don't know what to tell you, alogs.
> 
> View attachment 2535608
> ...


That's the length of his gunty lard curtain.


----------



## AnOminous (Sep 15, 2021)

I love the autistic debate about how much of a midget manlet Ralph is when the only fact that really matters is he is a fucking manlet and a midget.  While nobody should really care about exactly how much of a midget he is, apparently, the fine details of how completely short he is, and how even his bitches are taller than he is, really bug him, so I suppose we should keep that up.

But there is no dispute whatsoever about the fact that this dude is a fucking midget.  He's short.  He's a tiny little fat midget of a dude.  And he's super butt mad about how fat and how short he is.  He's a 350+ pound tiny little joke of a man, less than five feet tall, a fucking hobbit, not even actually a man, so short he is basically a subhuman.


----------



## Insanely Retarded (Sep 15, 2021)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 2535391
> About 5 inches of an overestimation there. Can gunt sue for slander?


Where would this info come from? (Edit: I know it comes from the restraining order, I mean how would the court know his exact height) It's not like the court would have measured him, no? So it is more likely that a clerk just asked him and half-assedly filled in the info?

I like to imagine he tried to lie and say 5'10 but the clerk refused telling him that she was actually 5'10 and Ralph was obviously shorter than her, in the end agreeing to put 5'6 as the height to get the angry dwarf screaming about not being 5'1 out of her face.


----------



## Niggernerd (Sep 15, 2021)

5'11?
I guess 3'2 is the new giant


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Sep 15, 2021)

It is quite unfortunate being so close to the height of an actual dwarf. At least "tall" dwarfs are still able to make use of this by relatively easily becoming Hollywood stars, if not straight-up recognized actors, they can still do all sorts of fun stuff like being inside R2D2, being dressed like Chucky in Child's Play for wide shots, or dressed like the hobbits in Lord of the Rings for certain fast-paced shots.
Ralph however can do no such thing, even if he's almost the same height as a tall dwarf.





Maybe if they remake Blade [1998] he can play Pearl.
He might honestly get the part, since there's less prosthetic make-up required and money saved.


----------



## Vetti (Sep 21, 2021)

Our stinky queen, Brittany Venti, recently met up with Compound Media's Chrissie Mayr and was kind enough to photograph the occasion!








Tweet | Archive
Brittany self-identifies as 5'6 btw.


----------



## Spectre_06 (Sep 21, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> I love the autistic debate about how much of a midget manlet Ralph is when the only fact that really matters is he is a fucking manlet and a midget.  While nobody should really care about exactly how much of a midget he is, apparently, the fine details of how completely short he is, and how even his bitches are taller than he is, really bug him, so I suppose we should keep that up.
> 
> But there is no dispute whatsoever about the fact that this dude is a fucking midget.  He's short.  He's a tiny little fat midget of a dude.  And he's super butt mad about how fat and how short he is.  He's a 350+ pound tiny little joke of a man, less than five feet tall, a fucking hobbit, not even actually a man, so short he is basically a subhuman.


Being a manlet isn't just your height, it's a state of mind.  You can be 6'7" and still be a manlet if you act like a bitch, _a la _Ralph.


----------



## AnOminous (Sep 21, 2021)

Vetti said:


> Our stinky queen, Brittany Venti, recently met up with Compound Media's Chrissie Mayr and was kind enough to photograph the occasion!


And the midget even forced the bitch to crouch down to make him look slightly less like a member of the Lollipop Guild.


----------



## JustStopDude (Sep 21, 2021)

Who cares how tall Ralph is....the crazy thing is he has to bath himself with a rag on a stick. 

God he must reek all the time.


----------



## AltisticRight (Sep 21, 2021)

Vetti said:


> Our stinky queen, Brittany Venti, recently met up with Compound Media's Chrissie Mayr and was kind enough to photograph the occasion!
> View attachment 2557477View attachment 2557478
> View attachment 2557500
> Tweet | Archive
> Brittany self-identifies as 5'6 btw.


So Venti's half a head taller than Chrissie, and Chrissie's half a head shorter than the squealing Memphis pig in that position.

Fat, 5'1'', felon.


----------



## Miguel Serrano (Sep 21, 2021)

I found his info!


----------



## AltisticRight (Sep 21, 2021)

Miguel Serrano said:


> I found his info!
> 
> View attachment 2558471


Pressing X on this one, it should be "hoof print".


----------



## Binary Code (Sep 22, 2021)

I've said this on this board before: I met the dude at GGinDC. He’s shorter than my Ex wife and she was 5’2”. He’s 5’1”.  He's a short rotund dude. Think of a barrel of Makers Mark with arms. I got tons of Selfies with people there that I knew online, but yet never met IRL (Right ONLINE Conference was the same weekend). I had a great evening and had a bunch of fun.  Drinks were fucking expensive there, and the event got cut short because someone called in a bomb threat to the bar. OMG PEOPLE I DISAGREE WITH ARE HAVING FUN! This was 2015, but it was the same feel of Branch Covidians that you see today. Low Status People trying to enforce No Fun Allowed by people of the wrong Class



AnOminous said:


> And the midget even forced the bitch to crouch down to make him look slightly less like a member of the Lollipop Guild.


I was surprised Mayr never "leaked" nudes for publicity.


----------



## Jack Awful (Sep 22, 2021)

Binary Code said:


> I was surprised Mayr never "leaked" nudes for publicity.


Yeah, even Ralph's done it.


----------



## HomerSimpson (Oct 3, 2021)

Guys...I found some incriminating evidence of Gunts height. This is a picture of a singular atom.


Zoomed in, and to my surprise, look what I found.

Ralph is slightly smaller than a singular atom. 

Made it on my phone, be nice lol.


----------



## Michael Janke (Oct 4, 2021)

HomerSimpson said:


> Ralph is slightly smaller than a singular atom.


do i loooke smaller than a singular atom bitch!


----------



## TheButcherknight (Oct 5, 2021)

Think on the rekieta null stream i heard nick say 5'4 near the end replying to a super chat


----------



## HarblMcDavid (Oct 5, 2021)

TheButcherknight said:


> Think on the rekieta null stream i heard nick say 5'4 near the end replying to a super chat


He did, which does square with the Gunt's fervor to make Null bet he was taller than 5' 1".

This makes him exactly the average height of women in the USA.


----------



## Insanely Retarded (Oct 5, 2021)

HarblMcDavid said:


> He did, which does square with the Gunt's fervor to make Null bet he was taller than 5' 1".
> 
> This makes him exactly the average height of women in the USA.
> View attachment 2600101


Keep in mind that 5'4" would be with his platform shoes/boots whatever he uses to be taller so he would be 1-2 inches shorter AND Rekieta admitted he is not great at heights but that Ralph is very short so he could be 5'3" minus the shoes.

So Ralph is most likely somewhere between 5'1" -5'3", shorter than most women in the US.


----------



## HarblMcDavid (Oct 6, 2021)

I'd say the only thing we know for sure is that he's definitely taller than 5' 1"; he wouldn't be so quick to throw down money on a bet he already knows he's going to lose even with him being as much of a degenerate gambler as he is.

But somewhere between 5' 2" and 5' 4" seems like the most probable range.

Something that did occur to me, if we assume Ralph was being a sloppy belligerent drunk when the cops tried to get his stats him slumping while standing in an effort to be difficult during the measuring could explain how they ended up with 5' 1" and decided that was literally close enough for government work, which would also square with him being in that height range.


----------



## SargonF00t (Oct 7, 2021)

HarblMcDavid said:


> I'd say the only thing we know for sure is that he's definitely taller than 5' 1"; he wouldn't be so quick to throw down money on a bet he already knows he's going to lose even with him being as much of a degenerate gambler as he is.
> 
> But somewhere between 5' 2" and 5' 4" seems like the most probable range.
> 
> Something that did occur to me, if we assume Ralph was being a sloppy belligerent drunk when the cops tried to get his stats him slumping while standing in an effort to be difficult during the measuring could explain how they ended up with 5' 1" and decided that was literally close enough for government work, which would also square with him being in that height range.


I always wondered if that "1" was a sloppy "7" ?

But even if it was, the copper probably didn't take into account Ralph's jewfro he was sporting at the time, plus the lifts Ralph likely had in his shoes as well. 

He probably is between 5'4" and 5'6" tall.


----------



## MeltyTW (Oct 7, 2021)

HarblMcDavid said:


> I'd say the only thing we know for sure is that he's definitely taller than 5' 1"; he wouldn't be so quick to throw down money on a bet he already knows he's going to lose even with him being as much of a degenerate gambler as he is.


no 5 1 is the most likely since he edited a second 1 onto a document to post here and coped about the original police measurement for years. ralph would definitely throw down money and hope you dont call it on him since no one wants to dox themselves for pocket change and because he can just try and lie his way out and say you in fact were the one who backed out of the bet.


----------



## Procrastinhater (Oct 7, 2021)

I have it on good authority Ralph is 5'4" in shoes with 3" heels.



HomerSimpson said:


> The idea of finding this exact spot just to measure the fences to see how tall ralph is is beautiful.
> 
> Also, dunno if anyone posted it yet, but I found an actual picture of ralph hanging with some friends.
> 
> ...


Waterbears deserve better than that. You done the 'grades dirty implying they would hang with Gunt


----------



## Berrakh (Oct 7, 2021)

Tbh he’s short enough no matter what height people wanna say he must exactly be. Agonizing over the specific height is suspicious. He’s under 5’9” so it’s done.


----------



## AnOminous (Oct 7, 2021)

Berrakh said:


> Tbh he’a short enough no matter what height people wanna say he must exactly be. Agonizing over the specific height is suspicious. He’s under 5’9” so it’s done.


A manlet is a manlet is a manlet.


----------



## Berrakh (Oct 7, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> A manlet is a manlet is a manlet.


Yeah. Trying to make sure he’s _definitely 100% less than 5’7” _would only convince me that the accuser is 5’7” and needs Ralph to be shorter than he is.


----------



## Puck (Oct 15, 2021)

Anyone saying ralph is taller than 5'1" is a crypto gunt guard


----------



## MeltyTW (Oct 15, 2021)

Berrakh said:


> Yeah. Trying to make sure he’s _definitely 100% less than 5’7” _would only convince me that the accuser is 5’7” and needs Ralph to be shorter than he is.


Nah ralph is five foot 1 idk why this is even a contentious thing he edited a 0 next to the one and his stories  on how the supposed error happened are ludicrous


----------



## veri (Oct 15, 2021)

it’d be so easy to disprove. like even if he was 5’3 it’d be a win for him at this point to have a doctor measure ralph’s height on camera cause at least it’s more than 5’1 BETCH.


----------



## Berrakh (Oct 15, 2021)

Personally I found the 3’9” argument on the front page to be convincing


----------



## Retrodogkiller (Oct 16, 2021)

Given the fat on his feet and shoe heel height, I'm convinced Ralph is actually 4'9" and benefits from the extra 3" of fat and shoe heel raising him up to 5'1".


----------



## AnOminous (Oct 16, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> it’d be so easy to disprove. like even if he was 5’3 it’d be a win for him at this point to have a doctor measure ralph’s height on camera cause at least it’s more than 5’1 BETCH.


I bet his morbid obesity has cost him another inch in the last couple years.  Gravity isn't good on your spine when you are a corpulent midget.  Even a half-inch would take him down below 5'1" and cause him to shart himself with rage.


----------



## The Ornithocheirus (Oct 18, 2021)

Vetti said:


> Our stinky queen, Brittany Venti, recently met up with Compound Media's Chrissie Mayr and was kind enough to photograph the occasion!
> View attachment 2557477View attachment 2557478
> View attachment 2557500
> Tweet | Archive
> Brittany self-identifies as 5'6 btw.


its probably less accurate to estimate using pics with women because heel size varies wildly.


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Oct 19, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> A manlet is a manlet is a manlet.


But on the upside, there is a chance of tall grey wizard knocks on his door in search for the burglar. And he goes on the epic adventure, possibly finds a proper ring


----------



## GaryGrey (Oct 27, 2021)

Ralph needs to stream himself playing Psychonauts he would empathize with the antagonist whose entire motivation stems from how being short has caused him nothing but pain through out his life.


----------



## Fslur (Nov 5, 2021)

More footage from the Riley & Mint vs Gunt fight, “Do I look 5’1 bitch” yes. Mint says she will fight Ralph again in the Q&A section.


----------



## 412-L (Nov 7, 2021)

Looks like we’ve got a theme song for this thread, courtesy of Jarbo the Hutt.







Spoiler: Archive







Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Nov 19, 2021)

Very handy for quick reference, tbh.


----------



## ♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ (Nov 19, 2021)

Puck said:


> Anyone saying ralph is taller than 5'1" is a crypto gunt guard


We should come up with a standardized imperial unit of measurement for Ralph's height. In the same way 12 inches is commonly referred to as a "foot", 5 feet 1 inch should be recognized as a "gunt".

Ex. The Panzer VII Maus was The Greater Germanic Reich's approach to the "Super-Heavy Tank" concept during the Second World War. It had a standardized length of approximately 33 feet. 33 feet translates to 396 inches. 396 inches divided by the inch equivalent of one gunt (61 inches) equates to 6.5 (rounded up) gunts. Therefore, the Panzer VII Maus Tank had measurements of 6.5 gunts in length, 2.4 gunts in width, and 2.3 gunts in height. Truly- a battlefield behemoth!


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 19, 2021)

I believe that Ethan Ralph is actually growing shorter over time.  He loses some measurable unit of height every time he chimps out over being called the midget that he is.


----------



## Procrastinhater (Nov 19, 2021)

♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ said:


> We should come up with a standardized imperial unit of measurement for Ralph's height. In the same way 12 inches is commonly referred to as a "foot", 5 feet 1 inch should be recognized as a "gunt".
> 
> Ex. The Panzer VII Maus was The Greater Germanic Reich's approach to the "Super-Heavy Tank" concept during the Second World War. It had a standardized length of approximately 33 feet. 33 feet translates to 396 inches. 396 inches divided by the inch equivalent of one gunt (61 inches) equates to 6.5 (rounded up) gunts. Therefore, the Panzer VII Maus Tank had measurements of 6.5 gunts in length, 2.4 gunts in width, and 2.3 gunts in height. Truly- a battlefield behemoth!


You know, between Ralphamembers (0.5 inches) and the new standardized Gunts (5'1") we're starting to codify a Ralph consistent system of measurement.
We still need one for weight though, I suggest "Ethans" to keep it simple, we'll round it out at 300 pounds.
For instance, a Walrus on average weighs 1400 pounds,and is 11 feet long,  or weighs 14.66 Ethans, and is  2 Gunts and 19 Ralphamembers long.
Keep this up, adding to it as we need, and soon we'll have a full system of weights and measures.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Nov 19, 2021)

Procrastinhater said:


> You know, between Ralphamembers (0.5 inches) and the new standardized Gunts (5'1") we're starting to codify a Ralph consistent system of measurement.
> We still need one for weight though, I suggest "Ethans" to keep it simple, we'll round it out at 300 pounds.
> For instance, a Walrus on average weighs 1400 pounds,and is 11 feet long,  or weighs 14.66 Ethans, and is  2 Gunts and 19 Ralphamembers long.
> Keep this up, adding to it as we need, and soon we'll have a full system of weights and measures.


I propose this for measurements.
There should probably be equivalents to yard (after hoof) and mile (after gunt), but not sure what.


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 19, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> I propose this for measurements.
> There should probably be equivalents to yard (after hoof) and mile (after gunt), but not sure what.
> 
> View attachment 2730630


Remember, the Gunt likes to say Memphis a lot.  He is NOT from Memphis, Tennessee, the source of soul music and much of American culture.  He is from a disgusting shithole, much worse than the actual Memphis, called West Memphis, Arkansas.  This vile place has absolutely no redeeming characteristics.  It makes him absolute white trash, because West Memphis has absolutely no famous people from it other than murderers and rapists.

Ethan Ralph is a garbage person from a garbage place.

WEST Memphis.  In Arkansas.

NOT Memphis.  In Tennessee.


----------



## Monkey Type-I.N.G (Nov 19, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> I propose this for measurements.
> There should probably be equivalents to yard (after hoof) and mile (after gunt), but not sure what.
> 
> View attachment 2730630


a 5' 1 guy doesn't have a 12 inch foot, his feet are 9" tops


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 19, 2021)

Monkey Type-I.N.G said:


> a 5' 1 guy doesn't have a 12 inch foot, his feet are 9" tops


Imagine being as much of a midget as Ralph is and pretending you are worthy of respect.

Nobody respects a complete and utter midget.


----------



## Aquafag (Nov 22, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> Imagine being as much of a midget as Ralph is and pretending you are worthy of respect.
> 
> Nobody respects a complete and utter midget.


actually, i'm 4'8'' with a 1.2'' inch dick and can confirm that Ethan Ralph is a complete and total faggot.


----------



## Tom Myers (Nov 25, 2021)

Height sperging from pieman's vid: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_srE0LG-Lg&t=1s


Spoiler



5'2''






Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Nov 27, 2021)

FIVE TEN!
ALOGS BTFO.


----------



## Fannyscum (Nov 27, 2021)

IT'S NAWT TRUUUUUUU!!! 


Tweet | Archive


----------



## Baldur's Revenge (Nov 27, 2021)

I would love to find Ralph in public and run up with a tape measure and guerilla style just take his height with a pic. No normal person cares about their height unless they have grown up with that Napoleon complex that a lot of manlets have. The more he rages and cries about it. The more it really does confirm that he is 5'1". I could accept the police miskeyed his height if he was 5'10" or 5'11". They missed hitting the 0 or 1 at the end, but he claims 5'6" or 7" Those number are nowhere near each other and why would the police make such a huge clerical error. Entering that information is so routine and they double and triple checked before lock up.


----------



## byuu (Nov 27, 2021)

The real question isn't if Ralph is 5'1 or 5'2, it's whether the circumference of his gunt is larger than his height.


----------



## GL09 (Nov 27, 2021)

What am i even looking at here?


----------



## High Tea (Nov 27, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> FIVE TEN!
> ALOGS BTFO.
> 
> View attachment 2755062View attachment 2755061
> View attachment 2755071


He admits in the tweet the vital statistics are self reported on driver's licenses. He could have told them 6'10" and they would have put it on the license.


----------



## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Nov 27, 2021)

GL09 said:


> What am i even looking at here?
> 
> View attachment 2755161


----------



## Puck (Nov 27, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> FIVE TEN!
> ALOGS BTFO.
> 
> View attachment 2755062View attachment 2755061
> View attachment 2755071


The DMV doesn't actually record your height btw they just ask you and put down whatever you tell them.

Also great pic in the license Ralph looks especially inbred and subhuman in it.


----------



## Jack Awful (Nov 27, 2021)

The photo Ralph's reacting to.


----------



## Fannyscum (Nov 27, 2021)

Sperging out at JessiePS over his height: 



Tweet | Archive


Tweet | Archive


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 27, 2021)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> FIVE TEN!
> ALOGS BTFO.


Goddamn this midget is desperate.


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Nov 27, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> View attachment 2755778The photo Ralph's reacting to.


Maybe he had a growth spurt after the arrest info was taken.


----------



## Absurdity (Nov 28, 2021)

That hell-boar just wants to get us to "say ten."

Ethan Ralph one. Five-one.


----------



## Leedsotherkid (Nov 28, 2021)

The gunted goblin claims “Uhhh 5’-8” or 5’-9””

First, any adult says some ambiguous number for their height, they are lying. what functioning grown man does not know their exact height?  What does his height change with the gravitational pull of the moon? 
A lie right there.
Second, the sentient pile of rancid sewer grease claims or claimed a weight of “275”. That weight on the supposed frame would not result in that perverse abomination of the human form. 
I’m 6’ 1”, I’ve let myself go a bit, I just weighed in and I’m 268 lbs. There is no fucking way 4” is the difference between my physique and that misshapen proof of eugenics. Granted, i have a lot more brawn on me while he has the  muscle tone of a bed ridden ninety year old.I saw the gunt try to flex his arm once, there was not a hint of definition of anything. 
To wrap this up, he is a lying sack of shit, who is too stupid to realize his claims do not add up.


----------



## Not Even Twice (Nov 28, 2021)

Does the police measure your size without your shoes on? Maybe that is why they are the only ones with the correct number.

Ralph always were something that gives him about 2 inches more, like those ridiculous Timberlands he can't tie because he's fat.


----------



## MeltyTW (Nov 28, 2021)

I love that just people knowing he's five foot 1 even though this can't effect his bottom line still drives short little piggy into such sheer periodic rage. He probably actually shits himself and let's it roll onto the floor everytime he remembers it


----------



## Gudetama-chan (Nov 28, 2021)

Not Even Twice said:


> Does the police measure your size without your shoes on? Maybe that is why they are the only ones with the correct number.
> 
> Ralph always were something that gives him about 2 inches more, like those ridiculous Timberlands he can't tie because he's fat.


He may have had his flip flops on that day. 

I'm convinced that the height inaccuracies in pictures vs the police getting an accurate measurement on spot are due to three things: 

1. Lifts in his shoes. Easily found on Amazon for $10-15. Can add a couple of inches without looking weird due to their shape/slope.

2. Forced perspective. PlasticOwl's break down caused me to realize that Ethan was standing back further from Dick than I thought he was and Dick probably isn't even touching him. Too many ladies hunching over in group pics or doing the Shoe crouch to make him look taller while Mantsu just towers over him. Whatever the hell he did in that Warski photo to look giant. Gunt has spent years mastering these little techniques to look like less of a manlet.

3. Tippy toes. Also confirmed in the Dick photo.

Doing all three of the above gets him to 5' 5"-6" from 5' 1".


----------



## break these cuffs (Nov 28, 2021)

He could snap a selfie of himself at a convenience store or Home Depot in front of the measuring marks they use for criminals and end this. He flat out refuses.


----------



## Sam Losco (Nov 28, 2021)

break these cuffs said:


> He could snap a selfie of himself at a convenience store or Home Depot in front of the measuring marks they use for criminals and end this. He flat out refuses.


That's no different from anything else he's done because he can easily fake that too. For example, if he's taking a selfie, he could be standing on a box of soda cans to get the height he wants. No picture of him in Timberlands can be used for measurements since those add like 3 inches alone.


----------



## break these cuffs (Nov 28, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> That's no different from anything else he's done because he can easily fake that too. For example, if he's taking a selfie, he could be standing on a box of soda cans to get the height he wants. No picture of him in Timberlands can be used for measurements since those add like 3 inches alone.


True, there is no way his stubby arms could get an angle that would show his height and feet. You'd have to estimate the height because it wouldn't be spot on, but it would clearly show 5' 1" vs 5' 7" er I mean 5' 8" er I mean 5' 9". Get his horse to do it. As long as there is a clear shot of his entire body in front of a known 3rd party measuring device, all the bs he'd try to pull to fake it can be accounted for.

He won't take a clear picture next to a known height because he knows he's a midget and that's all there is to it.


----------



## 412-L (Nov 28, 2021)

Leedsotherkid said:


> What does his height change with the gravitational pull of the moon?


To be fair, his gunt moves like the waves of the ocean (), so it only makes sense that it be affected by tidal forces.


----------



## John Furrman (Nov 28, 2021)

Leedsotherkid said:


> What does his height change with the gravitational pull of the moon?


No but gravity does compress the human body by up to a half inch per day. Probably more for someone with as much mass as he has


----------



## BrainProlapse (Nov 28, 2021)

Through my federal contacts I have received a real copy of his drivers license. 






Arresting officer: "Your pig-slit eyes are blue?"
Gunt: "THEY'RE NOT BLUE AS A MATTER OF FACT NO ITS NOT BLUE NO ITS NOT BLUE FUCK YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER NO ITS NOT BLUE PIECE OF SHIT


----------



## Kingu Cinnamon (Nov 28, 2021)

break these cuffs said:


> True, there is no way his stubby arms could get an angle that would show his height and feet. You'd have to estimate the height because it wouldn't be spot on, but it would clearly show 5' 1" vs 5' 7" er I mean 5' 8" er I mean 5' 9". Get his horse to do it. As long as there is a clear shot of his entire body in front of a known 3rd party measuring device, all the bs he'd try to pull to fake it can be accounted for.
> 
> He won't take a clear picture next to a known height because he knows he's a midget and that's all there is to it.


The most damaging thing an Alog could do to Ralph at this point is to stand next to him with a ranging pole or a rule and get a straight-on picture.

There is nothing that the gunt values more than his ego


----------



## ComedyEnjoyer (Nov 28, 2021)

break these cuffs said:


> He could snap a selfie of himself at a convenience store or Home Depot in front of the measuring marks they use for criminals and end this. He flat out refuses.


It's because he's something like 5'4 or 5'5 at best, do even if he proves he's not 5'1 he's still proving he's a fat dwarf


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 28, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> I love that just people knowing he's five foot 1 even though this can't effect his bottom line still drives short little piggy into such sheer periodic rage. He probably actually shits himself and let's it roll onto the floor everytime he remembers it


There's nothing funnier than triggered tards rebelling impotently against literal physical reality.  It's hilarious when troons do it, it's hilarious when piggy little midgets do it.


Canine with Fangs said:


> It's because he's something like 5'4 or 5'5 at best, do even if he proves he's not 5'1 he's still proving he's a fat dwarf


He's not satisfied with that, though.  He has to prove he's an absolute fool by claiming to be 5'10" or something that even Stevie Wonder could see is absolute bullshit or, more properly, pigshit.


----------



## Baldur's Revenge (Nov 28, 2021)

Canine with Fangs said:


> It's because he's something like 5'4 or 5'5 at best, do even if he proves he's not 5'1 he's still proving he's a fat dwarf


I think that he really is 5'1" maybe 5'2-3" with shoes on. That is why it bothers him so damn much. I am 6' and if someone said I was 5'5"... I wouldn't actually care. It's wouldn't bother me in the slightest.


----------



## The Big Dream (Nov 28, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> There's nothing funnier than triggered tards rebelling impotently against literal physical reality.  It's hilarious when troons do it, it's hilarious when piggy little midgets do it.
> 
> He's not satisfied with that, though.  He has to prove he's an absolute fool by claiming to be 5'10" or something that even Stevie Wonder could see is absolute bullshit or, more properly, pigshit.


This is it. There's a world where he had the humility to say 'yeah, i'm short' and then everyone shut the fuck up. He could've lived that.


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 28, 2021)

Baldur's Revenge said:


> I think that he really is 5'1" maybe 5'2-3" with shoes on. That is why it bothers him so damn much. I am 6' and if someone said I was 5'5"... I wouldn't actually care. It's wouldn't bother me in the slightest.


That's because you don't suffer from manlet rage.


----------



## rhinoplasty (Nov 28, 2021)

Baldur's Revenge said:


> I think that he really is 5'1" maybe 5'2-3" with shoes on. That is why it bothers him so damn much. I am 6' and if someone said I was 5'5"... I wouldn't actually care. It's wouldn't bother me in the slightest.


This is also why I think he's a lot closer to 5'1" than 5'10", though I'll be generous and give him anywhere up to 5'6".  He's obviously got little man syndrome bad. Nobody approaching normal height would be that sensitive about it.

He had literally the same reaction to the sharting incident. Right down to expelling a fellow Internet personality he didn't like too much to begin with for making fun of him on twitter after calling them a snake (first time Nicky Reks, this time Pod Awful Jesse). Like the sharting incident I think it's because the thing they are making fun of him is not entirely true, but it's more than in the ballpark. The noise Ralph made may not have been him sharting.... but his drawers almost certainly were not pristine by the end of the stream. Ralph isn't 5'1".... but he's close, and has been lying about his height by multiple inches for some time.


----------



## Punished 🌍 (Nov 28, 2021)

I'm still really surprised he get really bother by people calling him 5,1".


----------



## BrainProlapse (Nov 28, 2021)

PunishedWld said:


> I'm still really surprised he get really bother by people calling him 5,1".


Seems like when you're a 5'2 manlet every inch counts more than a adult sized person can ever know.


----------



## AnOminous (Nov 28, 2021)

BrainProlapse said:


> Seems like when you're a 5'2 manlet every inch counts more than a adult sized person can ever know.


Give that midget an inch and he'll take a mile.  He's 5'1".  I wouldn't even be surprised if the cops rounded up because he is actually 5'1/2".


----------



## HackerX (Nov 28, 2021)

PunishedWld said:


> I'm still really surprised he get really bother by people calling him 5,1".



I think it's because he got caught when he claimed 6'0 or 5'11 years ago.  It's relatively common for a dude to add an extra inch to their height,  but not fucking 6 inches (assuming he's 5'5 and not 5'1, which he is 5'1)  

Overall, big blow to his ego that he's incapable of recovering from.


----------



## AltisticRight (Nov 28, 2021)

Ralph is 5'1.001'', that's why he is MAD when people claims he's 5'1''. When you're a tub of sentient lard rolling around like a beach ball, every hundredth of an inch counts.


----------



## Retrodogkiller (Nov 28, 2021)

Due to new information I can safely say Ethan Ralph is in fact 4'9". Thanks to 4" insole inserts.


----------



## Monkey Type-I.N.G (Nov 29, 2021)

Retrodogkiller said:


> Due to new information I can safely say Ethan Ralph is in fact 4'9". Thanks to 4" insole inserts. View attachment 2758732


putting ralph's manletism aside, there's no way anyone would walk on those without looking ridiculous, those have to fuck with your gait somehow


----------



## Simply Outplayed-HD (Nov 29, 2021)

Monkey Type-I.N.G said:


> putting ralph's manletism aside, there's no way anyone would walk on those without looking ridiculous, those have to fuck with your gait somehow


I feel like you could fuck up your ankle somehow if you tripped.


----------



## Don'tAnalizeMeBro! (Nov 29, 2021)

Monkey Type-I.N.G said:


> putting ralph's manletism aside, there's no way anyone would walk on those without looking ridiculous, those have to fuck with your gait somehow


Maybe Ralph is trying to get used to wearing 4-inch heels because he thinks they make his calves look stunning.


----------



## Takayuki Yagami (Nov 30, 2021)

Fannyscum said:


> IT'S NAWT TRUUUUUUU!!!
> View attachment 2755149
> View attachment 2755151
> Tweet | Archive


I love that it doesn’t occur to him that the sheer rage with which he responds tells us what we need to know. Also, the DMV’ll just take your word on those things. My license still has the wrong eye color because I didn’t quite grasp the difference between gray and hazel when I first got my permit.


----------



## instythot (Dec 1, 2021)

break these cuffs said:


> He could snap a selfie of himself at a convenience store or Home Depot in front of the measuring marks they use for criminals and end this. He flat out refuses.





Sam Losco said:


> That's no different from anything else he's done because he can easily fake that too. For example, if he's taking a selfie, he could be standing on a box of soda cans to get the height he wants. No picture of him in Timberlands can be used for measurements since those add like 3 inches alone.


He doesn't even need to go out of his way to some store or obtain some specialized pig measuring equipment to  prove how tall he is. He could just get his horse to take a full body photo of him while holding an object with standardized size like a credit card or DVD case, release it in the wild and let autism take its course.

My favorite time he tried to claim he was 5'10" or whatever was when he said he stood eye to eye with Sargon, known manlet who is at most the same height as Lauren Chen/Roaming Millenial who measures up to 5'6". By the transitive property, Ethan Ralph's maximum possible claimed height should be 5'6"


----------



## veri (Dec 27, 2021)

mods add a poll like this:
question: are you taller than ethan ralph
answer choices:
a: yes
b: no

i am predicting the results at 95% yes. true and honest answers only for accurate sampling


----------



## AnOminous (Dec 27, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> mods add a poll like this:
> question: are you taller than ethan ralph
> answer choices:
> a: yes
> ...


I am absolutely certain that if I were standing face to face with this fat fuck, I'd have to look down to meet his eyes.  The man is a midget.  That is a proven fact.


----------



## veri (Dec 27, 2021)

AnOminous said:


> I am absolutely certain that if I were standing face to face with this fat fuck, I'd have to look down to meet his eyes.  The man is a midget.  That is a proven fact.


true it’s really funny how ralph tries to act tough  when the average WOMAN (5’4) can just take his phone from his stupid fat piggy hooves and hold it out of reach. think about that the average american woman is taller than ethan ralph

if ralph was trying to act tough to someone irl al they’d have to do is call ralph a 5’1 west memphis piggy and he’ll spiral


----------



## MeltyTW (Dec 27, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> mods add a poll like this:
> question: are you taller than ethan ralph
> answer choices:
> a: yes
> ...


but the idea of ralph being 5 foot 1 but taller than all of us is fucking hilarious


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## veri (Dec 27, 2021)

MeltyTW said:


> but the idea of ralph being 5 foot 1 but taller than all of us is fucking hilarious


ralphs way of coping is to convince himself that all the alogs are 4’8 who are jealous of him for being a towering 5’1


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## Sam Losco (Dec 27, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> mods add a poll like this:
> question: are you taller than ethan ralph
> answer choices:
> a: yes
> ...


Eh since I like polls, sure. Done. 
I was tempted to make the choices both Yes since unless you are a child, a short woman, or actual midget, you're taller than Ralph.


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## AnOminous (Dec 27, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> ralphs way of coping is to convince himself that all the alogs are 4’8 who are jealous of him for being a towering 5’1


He knows he isn't though.  That's why he has to wear those platform shoes even while standing next to Neigh.  And even then he is still obviously a tiny little midget.


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## veri (Dec 27, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> Eh since I like polls, sure. Done.
> I was tempted to make the choices both Yes since unless you are a child, a short woman, or actual midget, you're taller than Ralph.


100% yes votes so far! ralph is probably sweating in a panic rightnow


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## AnOminous (Dec 27, 2021)

How many standard deviations below the norm does this midget fall?  I'm betting at least two.  A somewhat more interesting question is how many standard deviations below the average height of a woman does this manlet fall?


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## Cup Noodle (Dec 27, 2021)

HackerX said:


> I think it's because he got caught when he claimed 6'0 or 5'11 years ago.  It's relatively common for a dude to add an extra inch to their height,  but not fucking 6 inches (assuming he's 5'5 and not 5'1, which he is 5'1)


I'm 6'3" and a half or three quarters according to how I slept the previous night and how early or late in the day it is.  I claim six four all day with no regrets.  Ralph couldn't muster 5'2" if he lost all of the weight compressing his spine much less 5'11"


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## MeltyTW (Dec 27, 2021)

Cup Noodle said:


> I'm 6'3" and a half or three quarters according to how I slept the previous night and how early or late in the day it is.  I claim six four all day with no regrets.  Ralph couldn't muster 5'2" if he lost all of the weight compressing his spine much less 5'11"


i think his fucked body is actually a result of a near toddler tier body supporting tons of rings of pure concentrated fat mass rings stacked on top of each other. similar to this representation of a hypersphere in 4d, a hypergunt if you will.






so its actually possible imo that hell become shorter if he loses all that weight.


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## SargonF00t (Dec 27, 2021)

Sam Losco said:


> I was tempted to make the choices both Yes since unless you are a child, a short woman, or actual midget, you're taller than Ralph.


Or unless you are Beardson


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## Retrodogkiller (Dec 27, 2021)

Since this thread got revived and some recent pictures got posted in Mays thread.  I'm 99% sure Ralph actually does use heel inserts in his boots. It would also make sense how he can go from looking 4'9" to 5'8" in different photos and every height in between. Your average shoe adds 1/2 inch to 1 inch height while boots usually add 2 inches, sometimes more depending on the style. Pair that with heel raisers that go up to 4.5 inches, Ralph can appear to be anywhere from 60 to 66.5 inches depending on his footwear.


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## rage against modernity (Dec 27, 2021)

The gunt becomes the violent one, 500 pounds and 5 foot 1.


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## earthbar (Dec 27, 2021)

When/if he's booked into the slammer in a month's time, will those records be publically accessable?


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## AnOminous (Dec 27, 2021)

Retrodogkiller said:


> Pair that with heel raisers that go up to 4.5 inches, Ralph can appear to be anywhere from 60 to 66.5 inches depending on his footwear.


He could literally be on stilts and would never look an inch over 5'1".


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## There Is Light At The End (Dec 27, 2021)

Well, I am 185 centimetres. According to converter it's 6' 06955" I think to have an eye contact I need to present a manual on how to do it


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## Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋 (Feb 20, 2022)

Ralph is being alogged by Japan now.
It's really not been his month.








https://finance.yahoo.com/news/pro-gamer-fired-making-disparaging-115916760.html


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## UCantCCPMe (Feb 20, 2022)

Ralph could gain about an inch or so if he didn't have that mound of flesh hanging from his stomach. I'm sure the metric ton of gunt keeps him from standing up straight, so even if he was 5'9", he'll always look shorter due to being hunched over like a gorilla carrying that belly fannypack. Ralph, just be honest. The closest you will ever come to being 5'9" is if you change your name to Royce.


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## Telemeter (May 2, 2022)

I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.


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## MeltyTW (May 7, 2022)

Telemeter said:


> I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
> View attachment 3241332


oh speaking of this do you think he realizes that by openly feeling the need to offer "proof" after two measurings on video just acts as an admission the previous "proof" was shaky and not reliable and outright falsified? if he felt so confident in the first and second measurings  (despite not seeing the bottom of the measuring tape either time lol) and its so obviously unture why keep on and on as if you hadnt satisfied with evidence?


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## Zaryiu2 (May 8, 2022)

According to my calculations based on that photo we have of Ralph holding the trophy he brought himself i almost have have found Ralph true height, anyone know what he was wering them and how many inches that add? Depending on what he wore then he might be an actual midget at 4'8"


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## Retrodogkiller (May 8, 2022)

Zaryiu2 said:


> According to my calculations based on that photo we have of Ralph holding the trophy he brought himself i almost have have found Ralph true height, anyone know what he was wering them and how many inches that add? Depending on what he wore then he might be an actual midget at 4'8"


Ralph was in knock off timbs that have  2.5 inches of lift with the heel, sole and insoles. He might even have those inserts to. I think he's 4'9" as I've autistically explained before.


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## Zaryiu2 (May 9, 2022)

Retrodogkiller said:


> Ralph was in knock off timbs that have  2.5 inches of lift with the heel, sole and insoles. He might even have those inserts to. I think he's 4'9" as I've autistically explained before.


Well using inchcalculator.com i almost got that result, i got 4' 9" and a 1/2 inch so Ralph IS on the border between manlet and midget


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## Keranu (May 9, 2022)

Telemeter said:


> I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
> View attachment 3241332


@Wine em Dine em 69 em  Ralph has a great view of the sex offender shack from his back yard lot.


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## Weeb Slinger (May 9, 2022)

If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.

I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the_ trotter_.

After 30 seconds of diligent online research, I discovered that the average pig foot is 6.5-9 inches long. I have standardised the trotter at 8 inches (8 being a lucky number for those who were born in the Chinese year of the pig).

In human terms, Ralph is 5ft1 or 61 inches, when you deprive him of his lifts. That's a remarkable 7.625 trotters, but it gets even more impressive: A further 30 seconds of diligent online research reveals the average height of the domestic pig to be between 20 and 38 inches, or 2.5 - 4.75 trotters, making Ralph a veritable goliath among his species. 

At this point Ralph should shake off his last vestiges of humanity and go and live in the swamp among his own kind. He would get to roll around in shit all day. He could even end up like the pig below, who had the Louis Vuitton logo tattooed onto its skin by a degenerate Belgian.


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## PlasticOwls (May 14, 2022)

Telemeter said:


> I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
> View attachment 3241332



I'm very proud of Kiwi Farms for, somehow, not only continuing this discussion of a manlet's height, but individually proving his height at least 6 different ways, one involving a cheap-ass microphone photoshopped and cropped adjacent to eleven of his disembodied, fat, head.

Optimistic of me, but I'm still shocked he's still sticking to his 5' 11 stchick. You can't more blatant outside printing the entirety of this thread and shoving it in his face.



Weeb Slinger said:


> If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.
> 
> I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the_ trotter_.
> 
> ...


Quoted from an article written about the domesticated pig from livescience published in 2018:

"Pigs usually weigh *between 300 and 700 lbs*. (140 and 300 kilograms), but domestic pigs are often bred to be heavier."

When the thread was at its 'BMI and visual analysis of fat distribution' phase, I pointed out that were Ralph really 5'11, he'd unironically be over 500 pounds.

So in retrospect, he'd be not only the perfect length for a pig, he'd be one of the skinnier ones if he really wants to be 5'11. Win-win for him?

Edit; somehow accidentally double posted, but the merge fucked up the double post into repeating itself


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## AltisticRight (May 15, 2022)

Ethan Ralph is 5'1 🖕💋 said:


> Ralph is being alogged by Japan now.
> It's really not been his month.
> 
> View attachment 2998848
> ...


She's based.



Weeb Slinger said:


> If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.
> 
> I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the_ trotter_.
> 
> ...


Holy fuck only people in rural China would stamp the Louis Vuitton monogram all over a pig. The pig wearing all those logos, much like Ethan Ralph with his gay purse.
Oh wait.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 15, 2022)

Weeb Slinger said:


> If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.
> 
> I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the_ trotter_.
> 
> ...


Suueeee Vuitton


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## There Is Light At The End (May 16, 2022)

Due recent events we might know his real height and weight. IF he doesn't pull donga


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## Blue Miaplacidus (May 16, 2022)

There's light at the end said:


> Due recent events we might know his real height and weight. IF he doesn't pull donga


He will never fight, never.


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## Monkey Type-I.N.G (May 16, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> He will never fight, never.


Maybe it's a total cope on my part, but I think Ralph's wigger pride and desperation for notoriety will send him to the ring despite the odds and we'll get some khantent.


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## Blue Miaplacidus (May 16, 2022)

Monkey Type-I.N.G said:


> Maybe it's a total cope on my part, but I think Ralph's wigger pride and desperation for notoriety will send him to the ring despite the odds and we'll get some khantent.


Never. It will not happen. Ralph's wigger pride is overshadowed by his bitch-made core. He's had chances to fight in the past, didn't happen, he  blogged about it instead. He will come up with whatever excuse necessary, my indian tennis money is on "they would not pay me enough, the ralphamale will not fight for less than six figures ya understand? i'm not a faggot loser like warski".

It's also exactly his wigger pride that will bother him to his faggot center about taking a beating on camera for his corner of the internet to see, he cried like a bitch over gunt jokes after knoxville. He knows what will happen if he gets beat badly live on the internet. There's not enough markers mark or xanax on this earth to sand out the last few wrinkles in his brain to get rid of that memory and block out the memes.

Gunt will never willingly step into a ring unless it was maybe against hotwheels. A man who's first words after taking a punch is "ARREST HIM!" does not have the testicular fortitude to back up his words. Ralph is a faggot, a faggot who talks shit on the internet but is a scared bitch in real life. I wish I could find that clip of him telling his female companion to be quiet because he was scared of men in real life, I don't feel like digging through the board to find it. Though it's a perfect example of how much of a bitch ethan ralph is in real life. This nigger wouldn't even come out of his house to speak to Jesse. Imagine being afraid of that faggot that instead of coming out of your home to call him a faggot and beat his ass you instead peak out of your window like a scared housewife and then cry on the bird app. Embarrassing.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 16, 2022)

The nigger wouldn’t eat a bug for fear of the internet making fun of him, you think he’d allow himself to get his ass kicked by one of his sworn enemies on camera?


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## Telemeter (May 16, 2022)

There's light at the end said:


> Due recent events we might know his real height and weight. IF he doesn't pull donga


He wont fight, he's basically a woman and absolutely terrified of actual physical confrontation.

Every time he gets on a fight he goes in assuming its going to be a session of nipple rubbing until it turns out the other guy is actually a man and clocks him.


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## NynchLiggers (May 16, 2022)

Telemeter said:


> He wont fight, he's basically a woman and absolutely terrified of actual physical confrontation.
> 
> Every time he gets on a fight he goes in assuming its going to be a session of nipple rubbing until it turns out the other guy is actually a man and clocks him.


He could actually try due to his desperation for notoriety, but in the end is unlikely he passes a physical.
We will see if he actually wanted or not depending on the level of hollering after he fails the physical


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## SargonF00t (May 16, 2022)

Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:


> The nigger wouldn’t eat a bug for fear of the internet making fun of him, you think he’d allow himself to get his ass kicked by one of his sworn enemies on camera?


There is a chance that Andy will freeze and Ralph will be able to bum rush him and take him to the ground and win from there.


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## Slimy Time (May 16, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> Never. It will not happen. Ralph's wigger pride is overshadowed by his bitch-made core. He's had chances to fight in the past, didn't happen, he  blogged about it instead. He will come up with whatever excuse necessary, my indian tennis money is on "they would not pay me enough, the ralphamale will not fight for less than six figures ya understand? i'm not a faggot loser like warski".
> 
> It's also exactly his wigger pride that will bother him to his faggot center about taking a beating on camera for his corner of the internet to see, he cried like a bitch over gunt jokes after knoxville. He knows what will happen if he gets beat badly live on the internet. There's not enough markers mark or xanax on this earth to sand out the last few wrinkles in his brain to get rid of that memory and block out the memes.
> 
> Gunt will never willingly step into a ring unless it was maybe against hotwheels. A man who's first words after taking a punch is "ARREST HIM!" does not have the testicular fortitude to back up his words. Ralph is a faggot, a faggot who talks shit on the internet but is a scared bitch in real life. I wish I could find that clip of him telling his female companion to be quiet because he was scared of men in real life, I don't feel like digging through the board to find it. Though it's a perfect example of how much of a bitch ethan ralph is in real life. This nigger wouldn't even come out of his house to speak to Jesse. Imagine being afraid of that faggot that instead of coming out of your home to call him a faggot and beat his ass you instead peak out of your window like a scared housewife and then cry on the bird app. Embarrassing.


Who would have thought that this guy, a man confirmed defending his gf/wife's onlyfans and taking her last name, has more testicular fortitude than Ethan "fuck around and find out" Ralph?






Yes, he took a beating like Ethan Ralph did by that Portugueses prostitute, but said he said he would do it and did.


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## Blue Miaplacidus (May 16, 2022)

Slimy Time said:


> Who would have thought that this guy, a man confirmed defending his gf/wife's onlyfans and taking her last name, has more testicular fortitude than Ethan "fuck around and find out" Ralph?
> View attachment 3288878
> 
> 
> ...


anisa could beat ralph, I honestly believe that.


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## Slimy Time (May 16, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> anisa could beat ralph, I honestly believe that.


Ralph talking about how super chad he is while looking for any excuse to duck a fight, meanwhile, the open cuckold who is a living soy jack takes on the challenge. I wonder if anyone is going to point this out to Ralph. Maybe he will start another feud.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 16, 2022)

SargonF00t said:


> take him to the ground and win from there.


Not sure you understand how boxing works


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## AnOminous (May 16, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> Never. It will not happen. Ralph's wigger pride is overshadowed by his bitch-made core.


If he took a solid hit to the liver he would probably explode in a torrent of gibs, blood and bile like someone telefragged in Quake deathmatch.


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## There Is Light At The End (May 16, 2022)

AnOminous said:


> If he took a solid hit to the liver he would probably explode in a torrent of gibs, blood and bile like someone telefragged in Quake deathmatch.


Or some Nurgle's spawn


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## TheAntiE-CelebLeague00 (May 16, 2022)

Ralph is realistically between 5'4'' to about 5'8'', at the greatest. Gator said he was 5'7'' and Ralph was taller. Gator most likely lied about his height (he is probably a few inches shorter) and Ralph wears the big shoes adding to his height. So 5'5'' is probably a good estimate. He is not over 5'8'', and 5'7'' might be being too generous.


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## Retrodogkiller (May 16, 2022)

TheAntiE-CelebLeague00 said:


> Ralph is realistically between 5'4'' to about 5'8'', at the greatest. Gator said he was 5'7'' and Ralph was taller. Gator most likely lied about his height (he is probably a few inches shorter) and Ralph wears the big shoes adding to his height. So 5'5'' is probably a good estimate. He is not over 5'8'', and 5'7'' might be being too generous.


Ralph is shorter then Jesse Lee Peterson who's 5'7" to 5'8". Warski is like 5'8" and Ralph is shorter. I would say 5'4"-5'6" is realistic. But he gets mad when you call him 5'1" so he's fucking 4'9" to me.


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## Lincoln A-log (May 16, 2022)

All very good observations

I think the 5'4 to 5'5 range barefoot is accurate. When he's out and knows he'll be on camera he's wearing the timberland style boots which add around 2" to your height


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## SargonF00t (May 17, 2022)

Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:


> Not sure you understand how boxing works


Oooops, I forgot they were doing boxing, not MMA.

Well in that case, Ralph is really fucked.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (May 17, 2022)

Even if he was 5'7", that's a tiny fat little man. But he's not. He's 5'5". Seeing him in person would be actually laughable.


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## Telemeter (May 17, 2022)

Lincoln A-log said:


> All very good observations
> 
> I think the 5'4 to 5'5 range barefoot is accurate. When he's out and knows he'll be on camera he's wearing the timberland style boots which add around 2" to your height


He is 5'2" tops, there are like 5 different posts verifying this.


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## Pill Cosby (May 17, 2022)

All this boxing reminds me of Celebrity Deathmatch but in real life and totally gay.


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## Swirling weeb (May 17, 2022)

Ethan Oliver Ralph is a big man but only if you mesure sideways


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## NynchLiggers (May 17, 2022)

Ralph would sperg out if promotional material of the Cokeski fight shows that he is, indeed 5'1. The hollerin would make up for the lost corn?


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## KKKaan (May 17, 2022)

People that think he is any taller than 5'2 should read this entire thread.


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## Nod Flenders (May 17, 2022)

Kaan141 said:


> People that think he is any taller than 5'2 should read this entire thread.


The Gunt is a short fuck, no matter how hard he copes and lies, he knows he's short. In fact, he's wider than he is tall.


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## AnOminous (May 17, 2022)

Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:


> Even if he was 5'7", that's a tiny fat little man. But he's not. He's 5'5". Seeing him in person would be actually laughable.


He's 5'1" and not a red cunt hair taller.


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## SargonF00t (May 18, 2022)

AnOminous said:


> He's 5'1" and not a red cunt hair taller.


Who would win an MMA fight between Ralph and Liam Grey?


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## AnOminous (May 18, 2022)

SargonF00t said:


> Who would win an MMA fight between Ralph and Liam Grey?


The world.


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## AltisticRight (Sep 14, 2022)

@Haru Okumura shared a screenshot of Ethan Ralph next to his blood enemy, a traffic cone. 


The traffic cone in the image is 28 inches tall, a hazard marker. 

How tall is Ethan? Did you skip math classes my a-log frens? Time for some 數學作業. 

Here, angle between pink and green upper line is 80 degrees.
Between pig and cone, it's 17 degrees, so the other angle is 83 degrees.
Pig height is G, cone height is x.
Sine rule of course:
G/sin(83)=x/sin(80)
G=x sin(83)/sin(80)=1.008x, x is around 2.2 cones.
So Ralph is 2.2*28in*1.008=62.1 inches.
That's about 5'2''. 

Short, pudgy little piggy Ethan is.


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## AnOminous (Sep 14, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> Short, pudgy little piggy Ethan is.


Like a tiny little yappy dog with a big bark, no matter how much he hoots and hollers, Ethan Ralph is a fat midget.


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## GayestFurryTrash (Sep 15, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> blood enemy, a traffic cone.


Ralph continues to be a-logged by random items that easily show off how short he is.


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## I'm Just A Worm (Sep 15, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> @Haru Okumura shared a screenshot of Ethan Ralph next to his blood enemy, a traffic cone.
> View attachment 3692565
> The traffic cone in the image is 28 inches tall, a hazard marker.
> 
> ...


Ralph hollerin' about his height is simply screaming angrily into the void, cursing God for making him a Manlet barely taller than a traffic cone.      He gets triggered by being called his accurate height, 5 ' 1'', because he cannot handle the facts and logic presented by Kiwi Farms.

This picture sets off a primal urge to flee - to hide the image that cuts deeply into his delusions about not being an obese dwarf, and dispels them, like the sun shining through the clouds.     

Pathetic, and short.


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## Keranu (Sep 17, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> @Haru Okumura shared a screenshot of Ethan Ralph next to his blood enemy, a traffic cone.
> View attachment 3692565
> The traffic cone in the image is 28 inches tall, a hazard marker.
> 
> ...


Also look at him wearing oversized shoes here, just like black men do. His shoes are way too long, he's probably better fitted for a size 6.


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## Takayuki Yagami (Sep 28, 2022)

Keranu said:


> Also look at him wearing oversized shoes here, just like black men do. His shoes are way too long, he's probably better fitted for a size 6.


I didn’t even notice that. What would you say his actual size of what he’s wearing is?


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## Reotardo da Vinci (Sep 28, 2022)

He is 152cm tall. Most new televisions sold these days are actually wider than Ralph is tall. What a coward.


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## AncientPhosphur (Sep 28, 2022)

Keranu said:


> Also look at him wearing oversized shoes here, just like black men do. His shoes are way too long, he's probably better fitted for a size 6.


He wears larger shoes because his feet swell from the diabetes and liver failure


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## Heckler1 (Sep 28, 2022)

AncientPhosphur said:


> He wears larger shoes because his feet swell from the diabetes and liver failure


Pretty sure that clown shoes are part of his mandatory work uniform.


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## Keranu (Sep 29, 2022)

Takayuki Yagami said:


> I didn’t even notice that. What would you say his actual size of what he’s wearing is?


I wouldn't doubt he wears a size 12 to feel like a 6 foot tall man.


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