# Canis à la carte



## The Wokest (Apr 27, 2022)

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Has Ethan Ralph ever eaten dog meat? or does he bear constant sadistic impulses towards man's best friend?

First, we have the 1993 puppy killing spree incident combined with pictures like this:



Where you can clearly see Ethan looking at a live dog with disgust while at the same time his body language indicates he indubitably wants to eat the poor animal, still I am not one to jump to conclusions and even with a background of dog killing and abusing like that branding Ralph as someone who has a deep-rooted sadistic dog hatred or an insatiable crave for dog meat is still a bit of a stretch.

Or perhaps it was a stretch until recently. You see, Ralph has been projecting on multiple occasion when it comes to the topic of dog eating. It is guaranteed to happen whenever he tries to take jabs at Mr. Metokur or rather Metokur's wife and her cooking. Because since she is Asian, she must know a bunch of dog recipes!



https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1510475382184685573

One tweet doesn't sell it, thankfully we have plenty of clips where Ralph talks about Metokur's wife on live stream and he always brings up the dog eating topic and you can see how excited he gets and how he starts salivating at the idea of eating a dog.

Of course, Ralph of all people should know that being Asian is not a perquisite for dog cooking specially since his father baked alive some puppies back in the 90s (he might have developed a taste for dog meat back then)
And it could be a coincidence but Ethan Ralph has also tweeted pictures of food with the phrase "The Big Dog!" multiple times:



https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1440109467702546435



https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1419395198283620360

It is pretty obvious that Ralph is taking a picture of the food he's about to eat and using the phrase "The Big Dog!" *as a way to say that he would rather be eating a big dog instead!*

Now, Ralph's current dog is seemingly a Husky mix named *Tug*



https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1388658061649268738

As far as we know that dog has not been eaten yet since it was referenced recently in an April 2022 tweet:



https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1513571462183010310

The fact that Tug is still alive might have to do with Ralph's current girlfriend May and her lack of cooking prowess, it's possible that Ralph lashes out and screams "Why are you not a chink!?" "Why are you not Jade!?" "Why can't you cook me a decent dog meal!?" and then cries himself to sleep but that's just speculation and since I've been factual for most of the thread, I'd like to keep it that way.

I have to ask now, how many dogs do you think Ralph has killed? How many of those has he eaten?


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## Delicious Diversity (Apr 27, 2022)

NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE OVEN *NOOOOOOOOOOO!

*


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## TheSword (Apr 27, 2022)

You have to factor in the circumference of his Gunt with the size of various dog breeds to really know if he does indeed eat puppers- the larger the gunt, the larger the pupper consumed. Is he a fan of chewing on Chihuahuas or dining on Dobermans? A tape measure and some quantum mathematics would easily solve this question.


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## Chantelle's TV (Apr 27, 2022)

How long has it been since we've seen a picture of Tug? Im sorry but I'm not taking a tweet saying "oh yeah Tug's still alive haha" at face value. R.I.P. Tug you were too good for this world


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## Sprate Header (Apr 27, 2022)

Does anyone have that clip from Metokur's Kino Casino episode where PPP says " Ronnie holocausted those puppies in the oven"? It was one of the funniest things I've ever heard but I don't want to rewatch the whole thing to find it lol


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## Tom Myers (Apr 27, 2022)

"He doesn't like police" == Ralph is a white nigger.


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## PeggieBigCock (Apr 27, 2022)

Does the “sins of the father” trope apply here? Didn’t Ronnie bake a whole litter of puppies?


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## stupid frog (Apr 27, 2022)

i read a book from the 70s that mentioned putting an animal in a fucking stove to keep it warm (the animal did not die in the book, it recovered)
anyways it reminded me of ralph

also don't bing "putting animals in the oven for warmth"


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## Daily Affirmation (Apr 27, 2022)

I've long thought it sad that this episode was newscucked by Chris fucking Barb and didn't get the recognition that it deserves.


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## Blue Miaplacidus (Apr 27, 2022)

Jesus fucking christ I've never seen this picture before, no wonder this nigga is fucked up. Imagine looking like this. Together with the Thurman Murman picture this fucking faggot must have gotten bullied so fucking hard. Just thinking of that fat goofy loser as Jceaser trying to get actual negresses to come smoke a fat blunt with him is pretty fucking hilarious. He targeted niggers because no white wamen would dare be seen with him. Fucking lol just neck yourself ralph, it'll be easier than trying to drink away these memories. Not in minecraft, in real fucking life.


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## Monkey Type-I.N.G (Apr 27, 2022)

Delicious Diversity said:


> NOOOOOOOOO NOT THE OVEN *NOOOOOOOOOOO!
> 
> *


I have done much research and development, and I have yet to find some way to replicate his giant chin wobble sound with text


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## Uberpenguin (Apr 27, 2022)

I'm not saying Ethan Ralph _has_ eaten a dog, but I am saying that if someone cooked one for him he'd almost certainly eat it.

I am a little confused as to why someone who hates being at home would have a dog though. If Ralph wants to take care of something so badly, maybe he could start by actually taking care of his children?


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## True Boss of this Gym (Apr 27, 2022)

IT'S NAWT _*TRUUUUUUUUU!!*_


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## David Brown (Apr 27, 2022)

>It is pretty obvious that Ralph is taking a picture of the food he's about to eat and using the phrase "The Big Dog!" *as a way to say that he would rather be eating a big dog instead!*
I laughed.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 27, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> Jesus fucking christ I've never seen this picture before, no wonder this nigga is fucked up. Imagine looking like this. Together with the Thurman Murman picture this fucking faggot must have gotten bullied so fucking hard. Just thinking of that fat goofy loser as Jceaser trying to get actual negresses to come smoke a fat blunt with him is pretty fucking hilarious. He targeted niggers because no white wamen would dare be seen with him. Fucking lol just neck yourself ralph, it'll be easier than trying to drink away these memories. Not in minecraft, in real fucking life.
> View attachment 3222260View attachment 3222274


I’d only seen the cake photo before. This one explains so much, the state of him, the state of the house, Jesus. That’s bad even by white trash standards. No wonder he is the way he is. If he’d taken any other path in life besides ‘podcaster’ his trajectory wouldn’t have been much worse, maybe fewer trips and vehicles to wreck, more jail time by now.  
Also that looks like a standard Lab mix, should be able to calculate Ralph’s height from that.


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## Paddy O' Furniture (Apr 27, 2022)

PeggieBigCock said:


> Does the “sins of the father” trope apply here? Didn’t Ronnie bake a whole litter of puppies?


No, that's just fan fiction from haters. You see, his dad was _drying them off. _I wish I were kidding.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 27, 2022)

He must be feeling more Asian already if he ate all of his dogs.


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## Christorian X (Apr 27, 2022)

I suppose every meal can't be a pu pu platter.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 27, 2022)

Christorian X said:


> I suppose every meal can't be a pu pu platter.


But it can be poo poo platter.


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## Angry Shoes (Apr 27, 2022)

There have been a lot more blatant shitposts on this subforum as of late and frankly I support it.


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## MvAgusta (Apr 27, 2022)

Similar to Cleo the Cat, Tug deserves his own thread (just in case cos you never know what’ll happen to Tug with Ralph’s dog eating desires)


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## Mr. Manchester (Apr 27, 2022)

Gentlemen, I believe that Joshua Connor Moon possesses this knowledge and has for some time.  He has been trying to lure Ralph onto the Kiwi Farms, which he never reads, by posting videos on the front page to make his gunt grumble.  You can't tell me that Ralph wasn't licking his chops every time Cooking with Kay's son said, "ere's your supper pal...".


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## FinnSven (Apr 27, 2022)

I dread to think of the fate of any dogs if Ralph invites Tommie Tooter onto the killstream.


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## I'mma real anime gurl (Apr 27, 2022)

Angry Shoes said:


> There have been a lot more blatant shitposts on this subforum as of late and frankly I support it.


I mean his fetish is shit.


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## Rei is shit (Apr 27, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> Jesus fucking christ I've never seen this picture before, no wonder this nigga is fucked up. Imagine looking like this. Together with the Thurman Murman picture this fucking faggot must have gotten bullied so fucking hard. Just thinking of that fat goofy loser as Jceaser trying to get actual negresses to come smoke a fat blunt with him is pretty fucking hilarious. He targeted niggers because no white wamen would dare be seen with him. Fucking lol just neck yourself ralph, it'll be easier than trying to drink away these memories. Not in minecraft, in real fucking life.
> View attachment 3222260View attachment 3222274


Notice the hole in the wall? Thats what a 100k a year gets you in west memphis.


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## Freeman (Apr 27, 2022)




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## Expendable Zaku (Apr 28, 2022)

If White Castle made sliders out of dog, bet that Ralph would shove 50 or so right down his sarlacc maw.


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## Paddy O' Furniture (Apr 28, 2022)

MvAgusta said:


> Similar to Cleo the Cat, Tug deserves his own thread (just in case cos you never know what’ll happen to Tug with Ralph’s dog eating desires)


"Red rocket! Red rocket, Sparky! Red Rocket!"

I'm going to go throw up my breakfast.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (Apr 28, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> I’d only seen the cake photo before. This one explains so much, the state of him, the state of the house, Jesus. That’s bad even by white trash standards. No wonder he is the way he is. If he’d taken any other path in life besides ‘podcaster’ his trajectory wouldn’t have been much worse, maybe fewer trips and vehicles to wreck, more jail time by now.
> Also that looks like a standard Lab mix, should be able to calculate Ralph’s height from that.


Don’t let the obvious photographic evidence to the contrary fool you, this is a man who grew up in a household so wealthy (despite what it looks like in the background) that he was able to afford enough cocaine in high school to give him permanent nasal damage. AND, he had pussy lined up around the block, actually!


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## hotcheetospuffs (Apr 29, 2022)

He got cheese on his pastrami sandwich...at Katz's deli??? Def not Kosher.


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## Christorian X (Apr 30, 2022)

hotcheetospuffs said:


> He got cheese on his pastrami sandwich...at Katz's deli??? Def not Kosher.


Pigs are "unclean" in and of themselves...


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