# Brendan Powell Smith / Elbe Spurling / The Brick Bible



## RobotGentleman (Nov 12, 2022)

Brendan Powell Smith (now "Elbe Spurling") is an ugly transsexual and self-proclaimed atheist living in the San Francisco Bay Area. According to his personal website, he was born in Norwood, Massachusetts, studying theology at Boston University before later moving to the city of crackheads and carjackings. His biggest claim to fame is the creation of The Brick Testament (archive), a LEGO-illustrated Bible which he sells to unsuspecting Christians at the low, low price of $29.95.

A simple glance at The Brick Testament reveals it's a bad-faith representation of the Bible, designed to trick churchgoing parents into horrifying their children.



Though Brendan markets The Brick Testament as a child-friendly depiction of the Bible, he actually fills it with comically graphic images of murder, sex and rape, all depicted with colorful LEGOs (y'know, for the kids). He usually either does this by cherry-picking the most violent parts of the Old and New Testaments, or by adding his own "interpretations" of the scripture through childish dialogue boxes. Such depictions include:



Spoiler: Gore















Spoiler: Kid-friendly sex















Spoiler: Barack Obama












Spoiler: Hitler












Spoiler: Black slave children being raped















Now, Brendan would be fully at liberty to autistically criticize the Bible, if not for the fact that he explicitly markets his book to kids and encourages their use at childrens' summer camps, under the pseudonym "Reverend Smith". His obvious intention, aside from grifting money, is to get off on the satisfaction that he showed children "what's REALLY in the Bible", which he all but confirmed as being his motivation in a Reddit AMA:



> Well, I became an atheist at age 13, and the experience of being the only atheist I knew made me quite fascinated by religion, particularly Christianity, since that was the dominant religion of my family, peers, and society. So I studied ancient Christianity and Judaism in college, and that's when I first read through the entire Bible on my own. I was surprised by it left and right, especially the enormous mind-numbing amounts of violence throughout. I came away thinking "I don't think anyone actually reads this book". And that didn't seem right since so many people were claiming it was the very word of God and our best moral guide. So that's the motivation behind The Brick Bible. People should know what's in the Bible, whether they believe in it on not, but especially if they claim to believe it to be the word of God.



The books have unsurprisingly faced criticism over Smith's deceptions and misunderstandings of Biblical scripture, including a ban by Sam's Club. Nevertheless, the books' Amazon page still has hundreds of five-star reviews from idiot Christians who don't read what they give their kids.

Brendan transitioned to female in 2015, becoming "Elbe Spurling" at the ripe young age of 41. His devolution into trannyism is helpfully showcased by his social media pages, alongside his less-than-surprising political views.



Brendan enjoys showing off and selling his Bibles at childrens' events, hoping to be a "role model" for "trans kids".

 

He tends to have a lot of contempt for Christianity and Christians in general. Who would've guessed?



Spoiler: Christians










Unfortunately, Brendan was afflicted with a crippling case of Trump Derangement Syndrome in 2016, and he still hasn't recovered. Like most transgender lolcows, Brendan seems convinced that fascism and mass LGBT detainments are just a few months around the corner.



Spoiler: TDS













Brendan married Seneca Spurling, a transsexual man, back in 2016. Seneca was a fairly normal-looking woman before testosterone gave her a basement-dweller's neckbeard. To her credit, Seneca has progressed her transition by being the man of the house and keeping a job, so Brendan can keep playing with his LEGOs. (As of today, Brendan lists his employment as "author and artist").



Spoiler: Seneca









He also seems to be a fan of everyone's favorite pedophile:



Most recently, Brendan angrily abandoned Twitter for Mastodon (a favorite alt-media among trannies) after Elon Musk's takeover.



In his free time, Brendan enjoys making shitty music, working on his Brick Testament sequel "The Brick Book of Mormon" (archive), and continuing to bitch about politics on his remaining social media accounts.

Brendan's personal website: https://elbespurling.com/ (archive)
Brendan's (long-inactive) Twitter: https://twitter.com/reverend_smith?lang=en (archive)
"Elbe Spurling" Twitter: https://twitter.com/elbespurling (archive)
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elbespurling/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/revbps
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/brendanpowellsmith/ (archive)
Old personal website: https://web.archive.org/web/20020928142507/http://www.thereverend.com/
Mastodon: https://tech.lgbt/@elbe (archive)




				This private information is unavailable to guests due to policies enforced by third-parties.


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## GENERAL MAO (Nov 12, 2022)

well done she is a clown i approve of your work, what do you know about her family's kids
look for schools go for teachers' reports if you can get them


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## natewiz (Nov 12, 2022)

Wow, an atheist person of gender from California solely intent on scarring Christian children, with a lego fixation to boot! That being said it was an interesting read and I hope this person freaks out in public so I can see some more.


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## Scented Candle (Nov 12, 2022)

-Autistic obsession with Lego
-A concerning need to be involved in the lives of other people's children
-A strong hatred of religion and authority

Truly a tranny trifecta


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## Beautiful Border (Nov 12, 2022)

I guarantee he'll never make a "brick Quran" in the same vein. That would require actual courage, after all.


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## Pee Cola (Nov 12, 2022)

Beautiful Border said:


> I guarantee he'll never make a "brick Quran" in the same vein. That would require actual courage, after all.


He'll never make a brick Talmud either, because that too would require actual courage.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 12, 2022)

Aww that was one of me and my brother's favorite "inappropriate" sites growing up


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## speedweed (Nov 12, 2022)

Imagine devoting that much energy to mocking something you don't even believe exists. Retarded.


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## Tsukasa Kayoda (Nov 12, 2022)

So far he ticks all the major boxes: 
-Manchild who plays with legos 
-Hatred for Christianity 
-promotes sex to children 
-Fan of pedophile artist 
-Hideous appearance
-"FuCk TrUmP hE iS hItLeR" 
-REEEE-ing at Elon Musk because....reasons. 
Nice work on the OP. I hope this thread provides even more milk.


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## The Mass Shooter Ron Soye (Nov 12, 2022)

That's a nice meme, ngl.


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## Berwick (Nov 12, 2022)

Pee Cola said:


> He'll never make a brick Talmud either, because that too would require actual courage.


More like actual effort since it's several volumes long. But anyways, I think that they probably won't make a 'brick Quran' or 'brick Talmud' since they're specifically angry at Christianity (read the post from the Reddit AMA) and not all religions.


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## CognitiveDeficiency (Nov 12, 2022)

Looks jewy


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## Breadbassket (Nov 12, 2022)

I remember looking at the Lego Bible when I was younger out of curiosity, thought it was odd it focused so much almost exclusively on morbid parts of the Bible. Not surprising though that someone whose personality could be boiled down to "euphoric atheist" is going the trans route considering how adjacent that whole subculture was to the LGBT boom of the mid to late 2010s.


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## Fate Fan (Nov 12, 2022)

The lego shit with no context would make me assume some autistic "adult" made them. The Obama ones with the speech bubbles seems like a middle school project


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## SomeBirds (Nov 12, 2022)

R. Crumb already beat him to doing a subversive imagining of the Bible (well, specifically the book of Genesis), so the idea isn't really original beyond this particular tranny using Legos.

Not really as impressive as hand illustrating an entire tome, ngl.


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## I'mma real anime gurl (Nov 13, 2022)

Brikwars is better


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## Rome's rightful successor (Nov 13, 2022)

> So I studied ancient Christianity and Judaism in college, and that's when I first read through the entire Bible on my own. I was surprised by it left and right, especially the enormous mind-numbing amounts of violence throughout.


Someone who's lived in a sheltered modern home is shocked that the past was violent.

I remember first seeing these brick bible books at a book store about a decade ago and thought they were some fad to be hip with the kids. But seeing they were intended to be subversive has put them in a different light.


At least we have non subversive brick films we can enjoy like this one.


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## Distant Ranger (Nov 13, 2022)

I know one of my friends has the Brick Bible, and I'm pretty sure I had one as a kid. I need a time machine to go back and tell my parents to not give money to a tranny

Also Obi wan's Buck seems to be into massas wh'ip a little too much


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## Hugger Brother (Nov 13, 2022)

that's a pedosmile if I've ever seen one


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## Beautiful Border (Nov 13, 2022)

GENERAL MAO said:


> well done she is a clown i approve of your work, what do you know about her family's kids
> look for schools go for teachers' reports if you can get them


Aside from how cartoonishly evil wanting to go after someone's kids is, the fact you called him a "her" is what gives you away as a plant. Fuck off.


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## RobotGentleman (Nov 13, 2022)

OP has been updated with Brendan's dox. Confirmed through CA voter registration records.


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## Don Cossack (Nov 13, 2022)

Biggest victim in this story


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## Toolbox (Nov 13, 2022)

Don Cossack said:


> View attachment 3860040
> Biggest victim in this story


The cat's been through so much shit it isn't even the same breed anymore. Horrifying.


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## Shidoen (Nov 13, 2022)

Holy shit I actually do have the Lego brick bible but I don’t remember any of the Obama, can I, or confederate stuff. I’ll have to find it and look through it again.


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## Toolbox (Nov 13, 2022)

Shidoen said:


> Holy shit I actually do have the Lego brick bible but I don’t remember any of the Obama, can I, or confederate stuff. I’ll have to find it and look through it again.


I have to bet Brendan 'slyly' updated it as he became more insane until it formed into the version it is now. Post scans of your copy if it's from the same author and you can confirm it's different.


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## Shidoen (Nov 13, 2022)

Toolbox said:


> I have to bet Brendan 'slyly' updated it as he became more insane until it formed into the version it is now. Post scans of your copy if it's from the same author and you can confirm it's different.


I’m gonna have to since I revealed I remember owning it. Also most of the violent and sex stuff in the Bible isn’t terrible, it’s just what was in there and what happened when it was written. However, the Lego pictures and stills make it more hilarious than I remember. Didn’t make me less Christian it just showed me how far we’ve come when you believe in God.


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## Toolbox (Nov 13, 2022)

Shidoen said:


> I’m gonna have to since I revealed I remember owning it. Also most of the violent and sex stuff in the Bible isn’t terrible, it’s just what was in there and what happened when it was written. However, the Lego pictures and stills make it more hilarious than I remember. Didn’t make me less Christian it just showed me how far we’ve come when you believe in God.


A cursory look at his site showed a copyright date going back to 2001, looking at archives they go back to 2002 and show the brick bible as being quite different. I don't believe it was as complete a coverage of both the old and new testament though. Brendan used to go by "Reverend Brenden Powell Smith" though I can bet this was also a joke of some kind. The lego bible was without a doubt nearly assuredly a grift from the beginning. https://web.archive.org/web/20020928142507/http://www.thereverend.com/ Some choice quotes from his 2002 webpage:


> " What strikes one most about the Rev. Smith upon meeting him​for the first time is that his penis is invariably hanging right out​in the open through the pee-hole of his pants.  I'm kidding of​course.  I've known Brendan for sixteen years, and not once​have I known him to wear pants."​


-Chelsea Clinton, 4\3\01




And this poll

That's just stuff from his homepage.

A cursory glance at anything beyond the lego bible homepage would show that this man was not legit. But I'm sure he relied on ignorance to get this far. I can't really tell if he was selling it as an actual book at this point, probably because it was far from complete, but he did sell generic merch with a single logo on it.

Judging by the actions of archive.org recently, we might want to save these again in archive.ph or other ways.


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## Shidoen (Nov 13, 2022)

Toolbox said:


> A cursory look at his site showed a copyright date going back to 2001, looking at archives they go back to 2002 and show the brick bible as being quite different. I don't believe it was as complete a coverage of both the old and new testament though. Brendan used to go by "Reverend Brenden Powell Smith" though I can bet this was also a joke of some kind. The lego bible was without a doubt nearly assuredly a grift from the beginning. https://web.archive.org/web/20020928142507/http://www.thereverend.com/ Some choice quotes from his 2002 webpage:
> 
> -Chelsea Clinton, 4\3\01
> 
> ...


Yeah I might need to burn those books because it’s the official stuff and his atheist bs. Also all of the mentioned stuff I don’t remember is there.


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## I'mma real anime gurl (Nov 13, 2022)

When I first saw it as a kid or hell a teen, I thought it was a fucking fever dream. Seeing the shit and now knowing of the history is fucking uncanny as fuck.


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## Beak Thing (Nov 13, 2022)

The Mass Shooter Ron Soye said:


> That's a nice meme, ngl.


There are also some who made themselves eunuchs for the Upvotes of Reddit.


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## Toolbox (Nov 13, 2022)

Decided to do a comparison of part of the early brick bible to the current iterations. For a quick comparison, the index from October 2002 to the current one.



2002 vs 2021


Spoiler: The garden of eden continued







So far not really any changes to context, just photos changed to a different style. Skipped creation because he hadn't actually made that yet. 
Skipping to exodus with "moses commits murder" 
2002 v 2021

Not really any changes I can see yet.

Violent imagery appears to be the same, not pictured here, archive wouldn't load. So it was  already present then.


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## RobotGentleman (Nov 13, 2022)

Toolbox said:


> Decided to do a comparison of part of the early brick bible to the current iterations. For a quick comparison, the index from October 2002 to the current one.
> 
> View attachment 3861291View attachment 3861279
> 
> ...


Hadn't thought to look back that far when I created the thread, you could be onto something. I'll search through some of the more egregious examples to see how they've been "updated".

Brendan's Epistles, which contain a lot of the most bad-faith imagery (including the slavery, Obama and Hitler ones), appear unchanged since their creation (2009-2012, so pre-troonism).


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## Toolbox (Nov 13, 2022)

RobotGentleman said:


> Hadn't thought to look back that far when I created the thread, you could be onto something. I'll search through some of the more egregious examples to see how they've been "updated".
> 
> Brendan's Epistles, which contain a lot of the most bad-faith imagery (including the slavery, Obama and Hitler ones), appear unchanged since their creation (2009-2012, so pre-troonism).


It was pre troon, but judging by his person website, which I posted some portions from above as well, it was bad faith from the start.
https://web.archive.org/web/20020928142507/http://www.thereverend.com/ 
He was taking the piss already and profiting from it. He just kept building onto that. This is a case where the trooning isn't really what changed his character, he's just that kind of guy.


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## Phalanges Mycologist (Nov 14, 2022)

Toolbox said:


> And this poll
> 
> 
> 
> That's just stuff from his homepage.



Don't ask me why but has he ever mentioned being into British Comedy at all? There was a old comedy show called "One Foot in the Grave" and he had a catch phrase really similar to that and IRC swore for the new years 2000 special, might not be something he's doing but it's honestly kinda spooky.


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## RobotGentleman (Nov 16, 2022)

Brendan had been on his honeymoon in Thailand (lol) when Trump was elected president. He appears to have spent part of his vacation crying.





Previously, Brendan had switched from supporting to Bernie Sanders to Hillary Clinton because he took an online quiz.



Trans women are women, so they can't be rapists!



It's not a fetish, guys.


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## Troonos (Nov 17, 2022)

An autistic, tranny, atheist kid enthusiast obsessed with a children's toy? IMAGINE MY SHOCK. All stereotypes are based in reality.


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## Polentic (Nov 17, 2022)

Great thread. trannies seething about religion to the point where they trick religious people into buying something evil. 
Imagine if the troon did that to the quran. Where's lego muhammad?


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## KiwiFuzz (Nov 19, 2022)

I have a ~2002 copy of the Old Testament, hardback.

Slight powerlevel but he was in the same social circle as a friend and I believe he is/was a Burner.


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## Toolbox (Nov 19, 2022)

KiwiFuzz said:


> I have a ~2002 copy of the Old Testament, hardback.
> 
> Slight powerlevel but he was in the same social circle as a friend and I believe he is/was a Burner.


Would you be able to provide some scans or just some smartphone photos? I wasn't aware so far that there was a physical copy of the brick bible that early. It seems like he hadn't finished making his bastardized bible yet. It is just a really short selection of the old testament?


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## KiwiFuzz (Nov 20, 2022)

Toolbox said:


> Would you be able to provide some scans or just some smartphone photos? I wasn't aware so far that there was a physical copy of the brick bible that early. It seems like he hadn't finished making his bastardized bible yet. It is just a really short selection of the old testament?


I could, yes. Need to find it first. 

And yeah it is.


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## Instant_Pot_User (Nov 23, 2022)

RobotGentleman said:


> Trans women are women, so they can't be rapists!


ah ok, so when a troon consent accidents a woman in the women's bathroom, suddenly the troon is not trans anymore


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## Stabmaster Arson II (Nov 23, 2022)

Instant_Pot_User said:


> ah ok, so when a troon consent accidents a woman in the women's bathroom, suddenly the troon is not trans anymore


Schroedinger's troon. They are a real troon until observed to see whether they have committed a sex offence. See: Chris Chan.


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