# The Most Autistic Story Ever Told



## Rumpled Foreskin (May 10, 2017)

Here's the deal:

-No more then one post(sentence) per page for any user.
-Sentence must be between 5-9 words.
-Have it be somehow/somewhat coherent to the story.
-I will take this thread every couple of pages, and edit the op with the contents.

Let's make this happen, fam.



Spoiler: I'll start. 



Lou sat, looking at the table.



Edit 1:


Spoiler: Chapter 1: Do Autists Dream of Electric Bee Vaginas?



*L*ou sat, looking at the table. It exploded into a swarm of bees.
             "Bees, my God," he whispered the dead meme.
             "This is just like one of my Japanese animes."
              Except the bees are adults, and African. The African bees came after him and he flapped his arms in excitement.
              "This is my new bee collection. Let me tell you about it," said the spaz.
"These bees here are my waifus! No one understands our love!" The sperg lamented.
              "And what's more Mrs Monarch is NOT a dude! Dammit!" He slowly turned...into a cyborg werewolf ninja.
             "Time to get to work," he growled badassly.
              The growling began to rise in pitch, as the meltdown began: "I need my tablet to post on Tumblr, to calm myself!" the ninja werewolf screeched.
           Waddling frantically into a nearby Mcdonalds, the werewolf SJW began binge eating...
             He stole and ate all the children's happy meals. After his bountiful feast, he bent over and spread his anus open for everyone to bear witness.
            "Excuse me, could you please not do that?" said a passing white male cishet Christian Trump supporter.
             The werewolf mauled the trump supporter to death using his entrails as nunchaku. He then howled a howl that traveled throughout the city and pierced the heavens.
           Angered that someone stole his meme, that one dude from Gurren Lagann busted through the front door and challenged him to a duel. Both of them dropped their pants to their knees and wielded their cocks in hand as to have a sword fight. He teleported behind the foe, slicing him clean in two with the sharp measure of his 50-inch-penis
             "Nothin' personal, kid" he said.
             Satisfied, Lou couldn't give a shit about Kamina's death, and he wondered off into parts unknown...except to his friend, the cartographer, who cautiously loaned him the map (insert poorly-drawn fanart map here).
              Lou sacrificed his friend to the elder gods, after the map had been given to him.
              He used the map to get to the magical land of Belarus. Belarus is filled with my little pony's chimping out. The ponies were fending off a furry invasion. It was like Operation Barbarossa but with autists instead of Germans.
               And then a Fluttershy popped out. She exploded with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs, and the furry invasion, along with the remainder of the bronies, was gone.
             Unfortunately, this attracted the swarm of bees again, and unleashed upon the land a thick darkness.The thicc darkness descended on our hero, Lou, as his mind became fractured.
            Lou crashed into slumber.
            He dreams about Lou sitting, looking at the table. The table is of the finest craftsmanship and menaces with spikes of autismium. 
             "My God, what have I done!" shouted the protagonist.
               Lou flips the table in a mixture of rage and guilt, and it lands on him and kills his dream self, waking him up.
              Lou sobbed quietly to himself, but he had merely woken up into another dream. A dream full of bees.
              The queen bee came up to Lou and told him, "I'm pregnant". 
             Lou thought back, lovingly, on that night of love he had shared with the Queen Bee.
             Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. The Fire Island nation to be specific. Lou fell to his knees and wept, as the Fire Island Nation decimated his homeland, and murdered his new wife and unborn child.
            So he had to go on an adventure to gain strength and eventually get revenge, but he couldn't find anyone willing to travel with him, because he's not very bright and has a rather offensive odor about him.
           But then he met a ''girl'' from Kiwifarms who was looking for a NEET bf. @Meat_Puppet was sexy, in that used and filthy way that only a certain type of girl can really pull off. She had a huge cock, but he loved her anyway.  They discussed the various forms of train track schedules for hours, without touching each other. 
            So then they both travelled to the Fire Island Nation together, having plenty of degenerate tranny sex along the way.
             That's when Lou's former lover, the queen bee, showed up, as she had been saved by the evil Dr. Wily and turned into a cyborg, bee person.
            Enraged by Lou's infeldlity, the cyborg bee charged toward Lou and yelled;*"I would like to introduce you to our MtF child."* 
           Said MtF child is really a doll stuffed with actual bull shit (to simulate the smell) the cyborg bee made because she couldn't handle the reality that her real child is dead.



Edit 2: 



Spoiler: Chapter 2: Cloudy With A Chance of Death



*L*ou turned into a completely different being, named *M*argret.
Margret would join the the Consortium of talking bees, who had a knack for creating the best vaporware tracks, and locking them in the Vaults of the Aesthetic.
But unbeknownst to Margret, they were Russian bees. Secretly, they were conducting demonic rituals to resurrect Lenin, who would paint the moon pink, and draw a hammer and sickle on it. Lenin was the O.C.- original communist- that couldn't be stolen...Lenin's ideas still live to this day under a different name. It's a name that causes fear in the hearts of all alt-rights. They call it "social justice".
After seeing it, Lenin asked to be killed again.
And he was, but he did it on his own by autoerotic asphyxiation.
His mother found his body. Mainly because she had been dead since 1916, and the secret Russian bees never bothered to perform the same ritual on her as well.
Then God-Emperor Trump appeared! He built a wall and made the commies pay for it.
But as they reached in to their collective pockets...
It turns out they didn't have any money.
So the commies sold off their most prized possession @LazarusOwenhart . They all wept as their national treasure fell into the hands of God Emperor Trump.
Emperor Trump proceed to rape @LazarusOwenhart, 9 months later @LazarusOwenhart gave birth to the reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher, foretold by Nostradamus. As a Thatcherite, @LazarusOwenhart was overjoyed as now the Tories could finally bring about THE PROPHECY!
THE PROPHECY was that Great Britain would rise again and reconquer her former colonies.
As foretold by THE PROPHECY, only one person would stand up to oppose this conquest. That person will be: Billy Hayes from Midnight Express and a fat little autist on a chain leash whom was known for shoving Legos up his bum.
These unlikely warriors scoured the land for a legendary weapon called BIG, BLACK DICK, But when they found BIG BLACK DICK they realized both it's length and girth had been heavily exaggerated as a method of psychological warfare.


Spoiler











or so the warriors thought.
In order to see more though, the warriors had to pay for Day 1 DLC.
One of the warriors had been exceptional enough to pre-order to get the bonus small pink dick exclusive and therefore had a season pass.
The other warrior had to pirate the DLC, as he could not afford it otherwise.
It was then they realised that smoke was spewing from the sides of their Wii.
Their Wii exploded, killing everyone in their neighborhood. And they died in the explosion too, meaning the last people who were prophesied to stop the resurgent British Empire are now dead.
Unhindered, the righteous and glorious New British Empire led by Maggie Thatcher and Her Majesty The Queen swept across America killing Trump and reverting the bloody colonies to proper British rule!
The Cyborg Werewolf Ninja removed his disguise as a British soldier and growled "Kept you waiting huh?"
Then Dio god damn Brando somehow snuck up fro' behind, using the power of the sonichu crystals to turn invisible and smugly said "pssh nothing personal kid.."
The British army was alerted to their presence. Being the only two to stand in their way the field marshal ordered his troops to whip out their cocks and to hold fire until they had a clear shot.
In an attempt to avoid further bloodshed Thatcher stepped forward: "Look, we won fair and square but if you guys wanna be dicks about this we can go and invade India instead. It's on the list anyway. Plus we've got a score to settle with those pricks from Argentina."
So, having no further reason to fight after the Iron Lady's great speech, they all settled their differences and went out for coffee (or tea I guess).
Over tea and coffee (because England embraces differences) Thatcher and the Colonial council formed from America's more sensible senators decide that the imaginary countries of CWCville and Australatina are the real threat. The Queen orders Top Men to begin developing a device to allow the British armed forces to enter the minds of CWC and ADF and destroy these threats once and for all.
Magi-Chan, through his bullshit psychic powers, finds out about this and warns Tranny Chris. And thus, CWCville began to prepare for a long and bloody war.
Count Graduon had other plans, however. He joined forces with the British to make sure schoolchildren everywhere across the empire have books to read, and to force CWCville into submission, as it is an enemy of literacy.
In an unforseen twist of fate the heroic and beloved Count Graduon, Lord of Literature was betrayed by his trusted confidant @Null who made sure every single book sent to both countries was either The Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels or a compilation of 50 Shades of Gray and the Twilight Saga.
Being children conceived during the time of the great war reading was often a forgotten subject over tactical warfare and unarmed guerilla combat. Thus the gifts of literature only enraged the young Brittish children to the point they had burned down schools in protest. Their instructors hung from giant wooden crosses with flesh melted from their bones. Sending CWC a clear message that these children are not fucking around.
In retaliation, the mayor of CWCville drew porn of Thatcher, then shit his pants and did nothing.
It was as autistic as the South was right.
In an unforseen twist of fate the heroic and beloved Count Graduon, Lord of Literature was betrayed by his trusted confidant @Null who made sure every single book sent to both countries was either The Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels or a compilation of 50 Shades of Gray and the Twilight Saga.
After @Null sabotaged his efforts, and the children he was trying to help burned down their schools, Count Graduon felt completely devastated. He was considering retirement, until...he checked his twitter, only to find his sworn enemy CWC flirting with Doopie, who just outted herself as the the Thatcher's royal daughter.
"The fiend," he snarled sleeplessly. That's right, his powers were drained and he only just now realized, and after stewing over it, he realized it was because of Terminal Autism.
"Yay," he said, "The power of autism was inside me all along!"
So the good Count bided his time while CWCville and the British waged a long and bitter war, building up his strength by watching edutainment cartoons while making Super Saiyan noises nonstop.
Now he was finally powerful enough to challenge Chris, this time for real.



Edit 3:


Spoiler: Autism Fatalis: Part I



*T*hen, enraged by events, the Skeleton Army appeared, intent on killing everyone. And just as quickly as they appeared, they fell down the moat surrounding CWCVille and seemingly all died. The fallen skeletal warriors formed a bridge across the CWCVille moat and allowed Count Graduon to cross unharmed, followed by an army led by Thatcher.
CWC soon noticed the breach upon the walls of CWCville and quickly took action. By quick I mean bitched about it in his captains log and did nothing while blaming Pmurt.
All the meanwhile, waiting for Thatcher at the gates with open arms was Mary Lee Walsh, her own army of loyal PVCCitizens waiting on the sidelines.
Graduon was the first to notice her. He smirkedly smirked at her, "I am now far above you! I have harnessed the power of Autism the likes of which even CWC cannot control!"
But she replied: 
"U want sum fuk?
"No Rob, go find Becky for smash." Graduon replied trying to avoid the incoming advances.
With his advances squashed like a melon under a tank, he began to walk in circles, autistically screeching over and over, "But I poop from there! But I poop from there!"
The irony was that he did not in fact poop from there.
It didn't help that it was his "time of the month".
They needed to kill fast, but bullets were to slow.
That's when they switched to using flamethrowers. 
That's when the fun started. The British army took what prisoners they had, bound their hands and feet together and melted their appendages together with the use of the flamthrowers. The British were known to be a crazy bunch.
Then the brave British soldiers shot that big clump of human wreckage out of an oversized cannon at CWCVille city hall, collapsing the building on top of Chris-Chan as he was busy beating up transformer toys conducting important CWCVille business. Just when it looked like he was dead, the unholy powers of the Hoard resurrected the autistic dictator and amplified his powers tenfold.
Then Hitler rose from the dead to save humanity.
Der Führer looked on at the endless carnage, the destroyed skeletons that filled CWCVille's moat, Thatcher's flamethrower-wielding army, zombie Chris-Chan throwing superpowered temper tantrums, Count Graduon slowly going Super Saiyan, and Mary Lee Walsh trying to fuck Count Graduon, and he decided that this was all too batshit crazy even for him. So, he just sneaked away and went on a vacation to...Mar El Lago, where he found an almost sentient blonde wig, shaved his mustache and picked up an extremely bored looking ex model.
And it was then Hitler broke out into a musical sequence.




Unfortunately for old Adolf, the natives happened to be Orthodox Jews.
But they ended up loving it somehow, which really confused Hitler, who was expecting them to steal all of his money. He was forced to reevaluate his theories.

Meanwhile in the Battle of CWCVille, the British army is taking heavy losses, but Chris-Chan has been weakened significantly. 
In an attempt to finish the battle quickly the queen reveals that the Orb in the British Crown Jewels is actually an ancient Pokeball handed down through the royal family. Screaming her war cry of: "This really ticks one orf!" she throws the ball into battle and it opens revealing...Lord Helix the Omastar, the God of Anarchy.
Lord Helix was promptly bisected by a giant sencient kitchen knife.
This cursed blade, also known as Sonichu's Bane, saw its target in the distance and flew straight for Sonichu, who had been watching the battle from far away.
Sonichu just sat there deep into thought while taking his morning deuce. Unaware of the impending doom that befalls upon him.
This impending doom would, later that day, come in the form of some witches coming outta nowhere and forcing him to watch everything from Everyday Feminism, in hopes of brainwashing him into their coven.
Sonichu, powerless to counterattack, because he accidentally shocked himself, thanks in part to the witches putting a stupidity hex on him, was captured, then subjected to horrible torture while being brainwashed so he wouldn't easily escape them.

Well over 5 days of torture and brainwashing later...He ended up as a barely-conscious vegetable. Then Sonichu's Bane found him and sliced him in half, putting a merciful end to his misery.
To witness the death of CWCvilles hero not far behind were Sonichu cultist. Fat pimply overweight and unemployed autists from across the internet gathered around the fallen hero. They whipped out their cocks and started to beat themselves off... And somehow, this act of insane stupidity brought Chris back to life, much to the rest of the sane-thinking world's dismay. 

TO BE CONTINUED


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## AnOminous (May 10, 2017)

It exploded into a swarm of bees.


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## Kari Kamiya (May 10, 2017)

"Bees. My God," he whispered the dead meme.


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## Bogs (May 11, 2017)

"This is just like one of my Japanese animes."


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## cuddle striker (May 11, 2017)

except the bees are adults, and African.


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## Ballo (May 11, 2017)

the african bees came after him


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## Elwood P. Dowd (May 11, 2017)

and he flapped his arms in excitement.


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## BurningPewter (May 11, 2017)

"this is my new bee collection. let me tell you about it" said the spaz.


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## nekotlc (May 11, 2017)

"these bees here are my waifus! No one understands our love!" The sperg lamented.


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## Curt Sibling (May 11, 2017)

"And what's more Mrs Monarch is NOT a dude! Dammit!" He slowly turned...


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## Irwin M. Felcher (May 11, 2017)

into a cyborg werewolf ninja, "Time to get to work" he growled badassly.


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## cuddle striker (May 11, 2017)

the growling began to rise in pitch, as the meltdown began, "I need my tablet to post on Tumblr, to calm myself!" the ninja werewolf screeched.


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## Antipathy (May 12, 2017)

Waddling frantically into a nearby Mcdonalds, the werewolf SJW began binge eating...


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## Overcast (May 13, 2017)

He stole and ate all the children's happy meals.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 13, 2017)

After his bountiful feast he bent over and spread his anus open for everyone to bear witness.


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## Irwin M. Felcher (May 13, 2017)

"Excuse me, could you please not do that?" said a passing white male cishet Christian Trump supporter.


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## Ntwadumela (May 13, 2017)

The werewolf mauled the trump supporter to death using his entrails as nunchaku. He then howled a howl that traveled throughout the city and pierced the heavens.


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## Overcast (May 13, 2017)

Angered that someone stole his meme, that one dude from Gurren Lagann busted through the front door and challenged him to a duel.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 13, 2017)

Both of them dropped their pants to their knees and wielded their cocks in hand as to have a sword fight.


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## Rudol von Stroheim (May 13, 2017)

he teleported behind the foe, slicing him clean in two with the sharp measure of his 50-inch-penis
"nothin' personal, kid" he said


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## Kari Kamiya (May 13, 2017)

Satisfied, Lou couldn't give a shit about Kamina's death.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (May 14, 2017)

And he wondered off into parts unknown.


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## cuddle striker (May 14, 2017)

except to his friend, the cartographer, who cautiously loaned him the map (insert poorly-drawn fanart map here)


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 14, 2017)

Lou sacrificed his friend to the elder gods, after the map had been given to him.


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## FataBataRang (May 14, 2017)

He used the map to get to the magical land of Belarus.


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## Yellow Shirt Guy (May 14, 2017)

Belarus will filled with my little pony's chimping out.


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## WW 635 (May 15, 2017)

The ponies were fending off a furry invasion


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

It was like Operation Barbarossa but with autists instead of Germans.


----------



## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

And then a Fluttershy popped out.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

She exploded with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs, and the furry invasion, along with the remainder of the bronies, was gone.


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## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

FataBataRang said:


> She exploded with the force of a thousand nuclear bombs, and the furry invasion, along with the remainder of the bronies, was gone.



Unfortunately, this attracted the swarm of bees again.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (May 15, 2017)

And unleashed upon the land a thick darkness.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 15, 2017)

The thicc darkness descended on our hero, Lou, as his mind became fractured.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

Lou crashed into slumber.


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## BILLY MAYS (May 15, 2017)

He dreams about Lou sitting, looking at the table.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

The table is of the finest craftsmanship and menaces with spikes of autismium.


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## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

"My God, what have I done!" shouted the protagonist.

(I forget who that was.)


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

(It's Lou)

Lou flips the table in a mixture of rage and guilt, and it lands on him and kills his dream self, waking him up.


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## WW 635 (May 15, 2017)

Lou sobbed quietly to himself


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## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

Cricket said:


> Lou sobbed quietly to himself



But he had merely woken up into another dream.  A dream full of bees.


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## Overcast (May 15, 2017)

The queen bee came up to Lou and told him, "I'm pregnant".


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## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

scorptatious said:


> The queen bee came up to Lou and told him, "I'm pregnant".



Lou thought back, lovingly, on that night of love he had shared with the Queen Bee.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

AnOminous said:


> Lou thought back, lovingly, on that night of love he had shared with the Queen Bee.


Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 15, 2017)

The Fire Island nation to be specific,


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 15, 2017)

Lou fell to his knees and wept, as the Fire Island Nation decimated his homeland, and murdered his new wife and unborn child.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

So he had to go on an adventure to gain strength and eventually get revenge, but he couldn't find anyone willing to travel with him, because he's not very bright and has a rather offensive odor about him.


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## WW 635 (May 15, 2017)

But then he met a ''girl'' from Kiwifarms who was looking for a NEET bf


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 15, 2017)

@Meat_Puppet was sexy, in that used and filthy way that only a certain type of girl can really pull off.


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## AnOminous (May 15, 2017)

Cricket said:


> But then he met a ''girl'' from Kiwifarms who was looking for a NEET bf



She had a huge cock, but he loved her anyway.


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## cuddle striker (May 15, 2017)

they discussed the various forms of train track schedules for hours, without touching each other


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

So then they both travelled to the Fire Island Nation together, having plenty of degenerate tranny sex along the way.


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## WW 635 (May 15, 2017)

That's when Lou's former lover, the queen bee, showed up


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 15, 2017)

, as she had been saved by the evil Dr. Wily and turned into a cyborg, bee person.


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## nekotlc (May 15, 2017)

Enraged by Lou's infeldlity, the cyborg bee charged toward Lou and yelled;


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## Overcast (May 15, 2017)

"I would like to introduce you to our MtF child."


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

Said MtF child is really a doll stuffed with actual bull shit (to simulate the smell) the cyborg bee made because she couldn't handle the reality that her real child is dead.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 15, 2017)

Lou turned into a completely different being, named Margret.


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## cumrobbery (May 15, 2017)

Margret would join the the Consortium of


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## ToroidalBoat (May 15, 2017)

talking bees who had a knack for


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## UnderwaterUnderworld (May 15, 2017)

ToroidalBoat said:


> talking bees who had a knack for


Creating the best vaporware tracks, and


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## ES 148 (May 15, 2017)

UnderwaterUnderworld said:


> Creating the best vaporware tracks, and



locking them in the Vaults of the Aesthetic.


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## Kari Kamiya (May 15, 2017)

But unbeknownst to Margret, they were Russian bees.


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## FataBataRang (May 15, 2017)

Secretly, they were conducting demonic rituals to resurrect Lenin.


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## Randall Fragg (May 15, 2017)

Who would paint the moon pink, and draw a hammer and sickle on it.


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 15, 2017)

Lenin was the O.C.- original communist- that couldn't be stolen...


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## Yellow Shirt Guy (May 15, 2017)

Lenin's ideas still live to this day under a different name.


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## WW 635 (May 15, 2017)

It's a name that causes fear in the hearts of all alt-rights


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## UnderwaterUnderworld (May 15, 2017)

They call it "social justice".


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

After seeing it, Lenin asked to be killed again.


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## ManOfOlympium (May 16, 2017)

And he was, but he did it on his own by autoerotic asphyxiation.


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## WW 635 (May 16, 2017)

His mother found his body


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

Mainly because she had been dead since 1916, and the secret Russian bees never bothered to perform the same ritual on her as well.


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## AnOminous (May 16, 2017)

Then God-Emperor Trump appeared!


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

He built a wall and made the commies pay for it.


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## WW 635 (May 16, 2017)

But as they reached in to their collective pockets...


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

It turns out they didn't have any money.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 16, 2017)

So the commies sold off their most prized possession @LazarusOwenhart . They all wept as their national treasure fell into the hands of God Emperor Trump.


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## nekotlc (May 16, 2017)

Emperor Trump proceed to rape @LazarusOwenhart, 9 months later @LazarusOwenhart  gave birth to


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## Kari Kamiya (May 16, 2017)

the reincarnation of Margaret Thatcher, foretold by Nostradamus.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 16, 2017)

As a Thatcherite, @LazarusOwenhart was overjoyed as now the Tories could finally bring about THE PROPHECY!


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

THE PROPHECY was that Great Britain would rise again and reconquer her former colonies.


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## PerhapsGlowing (May 16, 2017)

As foretold by THE PROPHECY, only one person would stand up to oppose this conquest. That person will be:


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 16, 2017)

Billy Hayes from Midnight Express.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 16, 2017)

And a fat little autist on a chain leash whom was known for shoving Legos up his bum.


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## FataBataRang (May 16, 2017)

These unlikely warriors scoured the land for a legendary weapon called


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## Overcast (May 17, 2017)

Coke Zero


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 17, 2017)

But when they found BIG BLACK DICK they realized both it's length and girth had been heavily exaggerated as a method of psychological warfare.


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## Rokko (May 17, 2017)




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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 17, 2017)

, or so the warriors thought.


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## Overcast (May 17, 2017)

In order to see more though, the warriors had to pay for Day 1 DLC.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 17, 2017)

One of the warriors had been retarded enough to pre-order to get the bonus small pink dick  exclusive and therefore had a season pass.


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## FataBataRang (May 17, 2017)

The other warrior had to pirate the DLC, as he could not afford it otherwise.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 17, 2017)

It was then they realised that smoke was spewing from the sides of their Wii.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (May 17, 2017)

Their Wii exploded, killing everyone in their neighborhood.


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## FataBataRang (May 17, 2017)

And they died in the explosion too, meaning the last people who were prophesied to stop the resurgent British Empire are now dead.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 17, 2017)

Unhindered, the righteous and glorious New British Empire led by Maggie Thatcher and Her Majesty The Queen swept across America killing Trump and reverting the bloody colonies to proper British rule!


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## Ntwadumela (May 17, 2017)

The Cyborg Werewolf Ninja removed his disguise as a British soldier and growled "Kept you waiting huh?"


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## HY 140 (May 17, 2017)

then Dio god damn Brando somehow snuck up fro behind, using the power of the sonichu crystals to turn invisible and smugly said "pssh nothing personal kid.."


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## Meat_Puppet (May 17, 2017)

The British army was alerted to their presence. Being the only two to stand in their way the field marshal ordered his troops to whip out their cocks and to hold fire until they had a clear shot.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 18, 2017)

In an attempt to avoid further bloodshed Thatcher stepped forward: "Look, we won fair and square but if you guys wanna be dicks about this we can go and invade India instead. It's on the list anyway. Plus we've got a score to settle with those pricks from Argentina."


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## FataBataRang (May 18, 2017)

So, having no further reason to fight after the Iron Lady's great speech, they all settled their differences and went out for coffee (or tea I guess).


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 18, 2017)

Over tea and coffee (because England embraces differences) Thatcher and the Colonial council formed from America's more sensible senators decide that the imaginary countries of CWCville and Australatina are the real threat. The Queen orders Top Men to begin developing a device to allow the British armed forces to enter the minds of CWC and ADF and destroy these threats once and for all.


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## Overcast (May 18, 2017)

Magi-Chan, through his bullshit psychic powers, finds out about this and warns Tranny Chris. And thus, CWCville began to prepare for a long and bloody war.


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## FataBataRang (May 18, 2017)

Count Graduon had other plans, however. He joined forces with the British to make sure schoolchildren everywhere across the empire have books to read, and to force CWCville into submission, as it is an enemy of literacy.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 18, 2017)

In an unforseen twist of fate the heroic and beloved Count Graduon, Lord of Literature was betrayed by his trusted confidant @Null who made sure every single book sent to both countries was either The Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels or a compilation of 50 Shades of Gray and the Twilight Saga.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 18, 2017)

Being children conceived during the time of the great war reading was often a forgotten subject over tactical warfare and unarmed guerilla combat. Thus the gifts of literature only enraged the young Brittish children to the point they had burned down schools in protest. Their instructors hung from giant wooden crosses with flesh melted from their bones. Sending CWC a clear message that these children are not fucking around.


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## Kari Kamiya (May 18, 2017)

In retaliation, the mayor of CWCville drew porn of Thatcher, then shit his pants and did nothing.


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 18, 2017)

It was as autistic as the South was right.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 18, 2017)

In an unforseen twist of fate the heroic and beloved Count Graduon, Lord of Literature was betrayed by his trusted confidant @Null who made sure every single book sent to both countries was either The Communist Manifesto by Marx and Engels or a compilation of 50 Shades of Gray and the Twilight Saga.


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## FataBataRang (May 18, 2017)

After @Null sabotaged his efforts, and the children he was trying to help burned down their schools, Count Graduon felt completely devastated. He was considering retirement, until...


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## Laughs_Under_Lucricities (May 18, 2017)

he checked his twitter, only to find his sworn enemy CWC flirting with Doopie, who just outted herself as the the Thatcher's royal daughter.
"The fiend," he snarled sleeplessly. That's right, his powers were drained and he only just now realized, and after stewing over it, he realized it was because of


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 18, 2017)

Terminal Autism.
"Yay," he said.


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## FataBataRang (May 18, 2017)

"The power of autism was inside me all along!" So the good Count bided his time while CWCville and the British waged a long and bitter war, building up his strength by watching edutainment cartoons while making Super Saiyan noises nonstop. Now he was finally powerful enough to challenge Chris, this time for real.


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## AnOminous (May 18, 2017)

Then, enraged by events, the Skeleton Army appeared, intent on killing everyone.


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## Laughs_Under_Lucricities (May 18, 2017)

And just as quickly as they appeared, they fell down the moat surrounding CWCVille and seemingly all died.


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## FataBataRang (May 18, 2017)

The fallen skeletal warriors formed a bridge across the CWCVille moat and allowed Count Graduon to cross unharmed, followed by an army led by Thatcher.


(this is the weirdest, awesomest goddamn fanfic I have ever seen, holy shit)


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## Meat_Puppet (May 18, 2017)

CWC soon noticed the breach upon the walls of CWCville and quickly took action. By quick I mean bitched about it in his captains log and did nothing while blaming Pmurt.


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## Kari Kamiya (May 19, 2017)

All the meanwhile, waiting for Thatcher at the gates with open arms was Mary Lee Walsh, her own army of loyal PVCCitizens waiting on the sidelines.


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## Laughs_Under_Lucricities (May 19, 2017)

Graduon was the first to notice her. He smirkedly smirked at her, "I am now far above you! I have harnessed the power of Autism the likes of which even CWC cannot control!"
But she replied


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 19, 2017)

U want sum fuk?


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## Meat_Puppet (May 19, 2017)

"No Rob, go find Becky for smash." Graduon replied trying to avoid the incoming advances.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 19, 2017)

With his advances squashed like a melon under a tank, he began to walk in circles, autistically screeching over and over, "But I poop from there! But I poop from there!"


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## Gym Leader Elesa (May 19, 2017)

The irony was that he did not in fact poop from there.


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## Pina Colada (May 19, 2017)

It didn't help that it was his "time of the month".


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## ManOfOlympium (May 19, 2017)

They needed to kill fast, but bullets were to slow.


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## FataBataRang (May 19, 2017)

That's when they switched to using flamethrowers.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 20, 2017)

That's when the fun started. The British army took what prisoners they had, bound their hands and feet together and melted their appendages together with the use of the flamthrowers. The British were known to be a crazy bunch.


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## FataBataRang (May 20, 2017)

Then the brave British soldiers shot that big clump of human wreckage out of an oversized cannon at CWCVille city hall, collapsing the building on top of Chris-Chan as he was busy beating up transformer toys conducting important CWCVille business. Just when it looked like he was dead, the unholy powers of the Hoard resurrected the autistic dictator and amplified his powers tenfold.


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## AnOminous (May 20, 2017)

Then Hitler rose from the dead to save humanity.


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## FataBataRang (May 20, 2017)

Der Führer looked on at the endless carnage, the destroyed skeletons that filled CWCVille's moat, Thatcher's flamethrower-wielding army, zombie Chris-Chan throwing superpowered temper tantrums, Count Graduon slowly going Super Saiyan, and Mary Lee Walsh trying to fuck Count Graduon, and he decided that this was all too batshit crazy even for him. So, he just sneaked away and went on a vacation to...


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 20, 2017)

Mar El Lago, where he found an almost sentient blonde wig, shaved his mustache and picked up an extremely bored looking ex model.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 20, 2017)

And it was then Hitler broke out into a musical sequence.


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## WhitestPawn (May 20, 2017)

Unfortunately for old Adolf, the natives happened to be Orthodox Jews.


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## FataBataRang (May 20, 2017)

But they ended up loving it somehow, which really confused Hitler, who was expecting them to steal all of his money. He was forced to reevaluate his theories.

Meanwhile in the Battle of CWCVille, the British army is taking heavy losses, but Chris-Chan has been weakened significantly.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 20, 2017)

In an attempt to finish the battle quickly the queen reveals that the Orb in the British Crown Jewels is actually an ancient Pokeball handed down through the royal family. Screaming her war cry of: "This really ticks one orf!" she throws the ball into battle and it opens revealing...


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## Kari Kamiya (May 20, 2017)

Lord Helix the Omastar, the God of Anarchy.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 20, 2017)

Lord Helix was promptly bisected by a giant sencient kitchen knife.


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## FataBataRang (May 20, 2017)

This cursed blade, also known as Sonichu's Bane, saw its target in the distance and flew straight for Sonichu, who had been watching the battle from far away.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 20, 2017)

Sonichu just sat there deep into thought while taking his morning deuce. Unaware of the impending doom that befalls upon him.


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## Shokew (May 23, 2017)

This impending doom would, later that day, come in the form of some witches coming outta nowhere and forcing him to watch everything from Everyday Feminism, in hopes of brainwashing him into their coven.

Sonichu, powerless to counterattack, because he accidentally shocked himself, thanks in part to the witches putting a stupidity hex on him, was captured, then subjected to horrible torture while being brainwashed so he wouldn't easily escape them.

Well over 5 days of torture and brainwashing later...


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## FataBataRang (May 23, 2017)

He ended up as a barely-conscious vegetable. Then Sonichu's Bane found him and sliced him in half, putting a merciful end to his misery.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 28, 2017)

To witness the death of CWCvilles hero not far behind were Sonichu cultist. Fat pimply overweight and unemployed autists from across the internet gathered around the fallen hero. They whipped out their cocks and started to beat themselves off.


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## Shokew (May 28, 2017)

... And somehow, this act of insane stupidity brought Chris back to life, much to the rest of the sane-thinking world's dismay. 

TO BE CONTINUED


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## FataBataRang (May 28, 2017)

Chris came back as a golem made of melted Lego plastic.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 28, 2017)

Luckily CWCville is entirely Lego so Chris fell over and began to knock down buildings, rolling around like a more autistic version of Beautiful Katamari gathering Lego pieces as he did.


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## FataBataRang (May 28, 2017)

Count Graduon and the British army led by Thatcher struggled to keep up, but Graduon's energy blasts and the British rifles seemed to do little to stop the rampage.


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## Meat_Puppet (May 28, 2017)

The little autist cultist ran the streets naked with squeals of joy that their demi-God was ressurected. To which it was revealed the head of this cult was none other than Kengle.


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## Shokew (May 28, 2017)

A small mobile suit fleet, which was that town's local police force (because they're awesome like that - with their budgeting, anyway), shot all of the autists in the cult still hanging out there to kill, starting with Kengle for embarrassing himself royally.


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## FataBataRang (May 29, 2017)

One of the mobile suits made the ultimate sacrifice by ramming into Chris's new form, annihilating both in the blast.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (May 29, 2017)

But from the field of flames, a figure slowly rose from its center. Hunched over and rising as if in slow motion, the figure looked over at Big Al. 
"Do you have a dollar and a cheeseburger?" the pissed off and leeching Chris asked. 
"Gooooorll!" Big Al retorted.


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## Kari Kamiya (May 29, 2017)

Before Chris could Curse-ye-ha-me-ha Big Al away, all of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide varsity teams teamed up to sue Chris for using their beloved elephant mascot without their permission.


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## Shokew (May 29, 2017)

This act of being mentally (as well as partially physically) berated results in Chris losing all of his powers. Big Al uses this opportunity to go Kinnikuuman on his fat, lazy, sorry ass, but inly after telling the angry mob to back off, and that he'll finish the job for free.


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## FataBataRang (May 29, 2017)

Then Clyde Cash appeared, wearing a magical suit made of golden thread.


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## Octopuff in kumquat (Jun 13, 2017)

The thread however was not water proof, so you know what that meant for his foes...


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## Meat_Puppet (Jun 13, 2017)

Though half his head was obliterated by the blast Kengle regained consciousness as he lay there in the heap of melted Lego and carnage. Taking notice to his fallen followers he smiled the wickedest smile, rubbing his meathooks together happily. Connecting his followers in a row ass to mouth Kengle could now ascend to his true and final form.


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## Shokew (Jun 13, 2017)

... Only to be burned alive by a beam of light from somewhere (at least before this Human Centipede re-enactment could even fucking become a thing!)... But who did it is the real question.


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## Meat_Puppet (Jun 13, 2017)

The mighty Human Kenglepede rose up as it was quickly engulfed in flames. Parts of this mass of human flesh meshed in the most ill of erotic disgust melted from it's towering body scorching everything it touched to waste. It let out a bellied scream as it barreled toward our hero.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (Jun 14, 2017)

And Rowdy Roddie Piper descended from the clouds, and proceeded to beat the shit out of anyone who had no bubblegum.


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## LofaSofa (Aug 1, 2017)

Seeing no bubblegum on the kenglepede, Rowdy Roddie Piper made him his main target, he kicked the centipede abomination so hard that it retracted entirely into it's own asshole, erasing it from existence in the process.


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## Shokew (Aug 1, 2017)

Meanwhile, on planet New Jersey, a villainous witch named Mama Nails was constructing a new human monstrosity, using her dead daughter as the centerpiece for her creation... 

Problem is, she didn't know jack shit about what she doing, because she was a dumb-ass nigga cunt. She needed help - her villainous plan began by kidnapping local doctors in her vicinity.


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## LofaSofa (Aug 1, 2017)

Unfortunately for her, Rowdy Roddie Piper could smell the lack of bubblegum on planet 'New Jersey' and delivered a swift 1,892,344 million yard long kick to the planets balls, sending it into the nearest star, blowing up the planet and killing everyone on it in the process.


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## Gooseunderscore (Aug 1, 2017)

Rowdy Roddie Piper was an unstoppable beast, a terrifying tyrant, a god among mortals, was there anyone who could stop him?


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## Shokew (Aug 1, 2017)

Gooseunderscore said:


> Rowdy Roddie Piper was an unstoppable beast, a terrifying tyrant, a god among mortals, was there anyone who could stop him?



Maybe... Maybe Not... 

But at least the universe can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing planet New Jersey isn't holding anyone under anymore. Now if only something could be done about planet California, in a star system nearby struggling to recover from decades of pointless SJW warfare and the crippling embarrassment and economic damage coming from it.


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