# Secret Santa 2021 Gift Showcase



## The Last Stand (Dec 24, 2021)

_Hello everybody!_

Thanks to all that participated in this year's Secret Santa! This is the thread to showcase your awesome gifts from your fellow Kiwis!

If you had not received a gift, do not worry. This will go on until New Year's 2022.


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## Secret Messages (Dec 24, 2021)

Merry Christmas Everyone  Can’t wait to see what everyone got


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## mario if smoke weed (Dec 24, 2021)

I'm going to probably show mine at New Year's - haven't had time to work on it yet but I just came up with an amazing idea.


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## What the shit (Dec 24, 2021)

I’m in fucking awe about how amazing this is and it brings me so much happiness yet so much sadness.


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## Trusty Patches (Dec 25, 2021)

11/10 present from my secret santa, I have been blessed with this picture of the Gunt getting BTFO by a very sassy seal in gank city.

Thank you so much! It is perfect. I'm gonna print this off and get it framed :3 <3


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## The Last Stand (Dec 25, 2021)

Merry Christmas everybody. I hope everyone involved in this shindig enjoys their gift! Remember, there's an extension to send out gifts on account of the numerous delays handling this Secret Santa. If you had not recieved a gift, DM me, @Sammy or @MerriedxReldnahc.

If you HAD received a gift, feel free to share it here.


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## Born to Be Wasted (Dec 25, 2021)

This is great. I never thought I'd receive something related to Half-Life as I actually love that game! Merry Christmas, fellow kiwis.

Edit: Converted to PNG so that image is visible


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## Prophetic Spirit (Dec 25, 2021)

This was a poem i've recieved this day. Was wonderful.


> _Twas the night before Christmas
> And all through Morning Glory
> The children gathered ‘round
> To hear Kiryu’s Yuletide story
> ...


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## Hongourable Madisha (Dec 25, 2021)

I got this brilliant cuddly sea creature with wiggly legs and correct opinions!


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## Unassuming Local Guy (Dec 25, 2021)

I'm confused.  Instead of a secret santa gift I got footage from the KF headquarters security cameras.  Wait, shit, I mean it's a deepfake and I'm innocent.  Shit.  Shit!

Seriously though, this is some Kiwi Farms deep lore and more observant than I ever would have expected.  Whoever made this, really good job.


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## spiritofamermaid (Dec 25, 2021)

I got this wonderful wallpaper and I'm cackling like Pucas himself hahahaha

I love it!!! Thank you so much whoever did it, it's so well-done as well!!


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## Overly Serious (Dec 25, 2021)

mario if smoke weed said:


> I'm going to probably show mine at New Year's - haven't had time to work on it yet but I just came up with an amazing idea.


You don't show yours. That would reveal yourself as the Secret Santa. You show the one you received.

And you watch the thread to see the one you made posted by the recipient and what they thought of it.


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## spiritofamermaid (Dec 25, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> You don't show yours. That would reveal who yourself as the Secret Santa. You show the one you received.
> 
> And you watch the thread to see the one you made posted by the recipient and what they thought of it.


I'm so excited to see what my recipient's reaction is, I had so much fun making it.


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## The Last Stand (Dec 25, 2021)

Love the font and background! Who is that woman?


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## Cowboy Cat (Dec 25, 2021)

spiritofamermaid said:


> I'm so excited to see what my recipient's reaction is, I had so much fun making it.


Same haha. Gonna be lurking all holiday to see


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## The Cunting Death (Dec 25, 2021)

What the shit said:


> View attachment 2827147
> I’m in fucking awe about how amazing this is and it brings me so much happiness yet so much sadness.


Whoever drew that, I'm jealous and want a piece of that art.


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## Secret Messages (Dec 25, 2021)

A Merry Christmas from Jeff himself 
I love it  thank you so much kiwi friend


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## Breakfast_Guru88 (Dec 25, 2021)

Thank you to my secret santa, love the drawing.


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## John Furrman (Dec 25, 2021)

This is really cool, and a wonderful distillation of what kind of art I like. I said I like 18th and 19th century art, astronomy, animals, and monsters. There's good use of symbols in this. The environment is otherworldly and surreal. The keyhole view to the galaxy as seen in some spectrum is good.  It is well composed and this would be an interesting painting in any style. It's like it!

I am not sure if this was on purpose, but this resembles Gustave Moreau's work, one of my favorite artists

This is one of my favorite paintings, _Salome Dances Before Herod_. It resembles in more than one way.


Spoiler









The verse is from Don Juan by Lord Byron. I looked it up and there was a pretty funny verse right after it


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## Glassshardballpit (Dec 25, 2021)

Merry Christinemas!


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## Hongourable Madisha (Dec 25, 2021)

Glassshardballpit said:


> Merry Christinemas!


It's not Christian Love Day for another few months yet.


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## Cowboy Cat (Dec 25, 2021)

Unbelievably awesome hahaha! I love how many of my interests they were able to fit! The psychedelic vibe absolutely rules, thank you so much!!! Absolutely gonna be a new icon once I’m off mobile/not hiding in the bathroom at a family get together to check the farms.


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## The Last Stand (Dec 25, 2021)

We've saved Christmas!


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## Fialovy (Dec 25, 2021)

I got a picture of Sisi from Code: Realize, it's quite an amazing corg, good job whoever did that!


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## Cynically Insane (Dec 25, 2021)

I am very happy with my gift.  One of my likes was Salvador Dali.  I got all my fave things in one beautiful, melting drawing.  My secret Santa is best Santa. Thank-you!


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## mario if smoke weed (Dec 25, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> You don't show yours. That would reveal yourself as the Secret Santa. You show the one you received.
> 
> And you watch the thread to see the one you made posted by the recipient and what they thought of it.


Thanks for that, I could've looked real stupid. I'll show off what I get when I get it then.


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## Lunete (Dec 25, 2021)

I was visited by the Christmas gator and his little friends. Very cute.


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## Book Thief (Dec 26, 2021)

Very clearly a tracing of her DDC artwork, but it looks great! Reimu's about to get medieval on some youkai!


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## Heckler1 (Dec 26, 2021)

I got a trippy picture of a seal pup. the more you look at it, the more it seems like it's melting. Very cool.


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## w4vy_gr4vy (Dec 26, 2021)

This is super cute and made me smile this morning. Thank you Santa!!


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## Overly Serious (Dec 26, 2021)

w4vy_gr4vy said:


> View attachment 2829392
> This is super cute and made me smile this morning. Thank you Santa!!


That *is* cute! What were your likes?

_(Still waiting on the one I made to be posted and still waiting on receiving mine. I actually care more about my recipient getting theirs)_


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## w4vy_gr4vy (Dec 26, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> That *is* cute! What were your likes?
> 
> _(Still waiting on the one I made to be posted and still waiting on receiving mine. I actually care more about my recipient getting theirs)_


I can't remember the exact list I wrote but this is the perfect blend of my love for The Simpsons and Sanrio


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## part timer (Dec 26, 2021)

Want to post the gift I received last year, an excellent illustration of a bonedog from Kenshi; I neglected to make a post last year to thank my secret santa but I would just like to say, if they see this, Thank you very much! I really like it and I'm still using it as my wallpaper background to this day


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## Glassshardballpit (Dec 26, 2021)

The Last Stand said:


> We've saved Christmas!


Don't count the weens out yet


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## spiritofamermaid (Dec 26, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> I actually care more about my recipient getting theirs


ikr, I'm keeping close tabs on the thread until my recipient posts theirs.


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## Overly Serious (Dec 26, 2021)

spiritofamermaid said:


> ikr, I'm keeping close tabs on the thread until my recipient posts theirs.


I keep checking to see if my Santa helper has come online yet but they don't appear to have been on since Christmas Eve. so unless they dispatched my present to its recipient early (I sent it to them last Monday) it's probably unlikely they have it, yet.


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## Born to Be Wasted (Dec 26, 2021)

spiritofamermaid said:


> ikr, I'm keeping close tabs on the thread until my recipient posts theirs.


Same. I want to know if my recipient got theirs as well.


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## Amber the Hedgehog (Dec 26, 2021)

Should there be a link at the front page for this thread? Newbies might not know about this part without it.


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## Born to Be Wasted (Dec 26, 2021)

Wasn't the Secret Santa thread pinned to featured content a while back? If so then why was it removed from there a day later?


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## The Last Stand (Dec 26, 2021)

Born To Be Wasted said:


> Wasn't the Secret Santa thread pinned to featured content a while back? If so then why was it removed from there a day later?


Null removed it from Featured to prevent griefing.


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## winterfag (Dec 26, 2021)

part timer said:


> Want to post the gift I received last year, an excellent illustration of a bonedog from Kenshi; I neglected to make a post last year to thank my secret santa but I would just like to say, if they see this, Thank you very much! I really like it and I'm still using it as my wallpaper background to this day
> 
> View attachment 2829740


I like that the ragged fur and the pose make it look a bit like a kiwi, really clever if it was intentional! Even though it's from last year's it's a really nice piece

While I'm here I'll post the one I got


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## L. Ron Hubbard's Cat (Dec 26, 2021)

I love my cute little kitty gargoyle. Thanks, Santa!


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## The Last Stand (Dec 26, 2021)

Another gift for me!





Thank you mystery artist.


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## Jaded Optimist (Dec 26, 2021)

I love it!

If someone could make the hair blond?


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## Vault (Dec 26, 2021)

Jaded Optimist said:


> I love it!
> View attachment 2831135
> If some could make the hair blond?


Wow I love this one! Great storybook like style


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## Born to Be Wasted (Dec 26, 2021)

Jaded Optimist said:


> I love it!
> View attachment 2831135
> If some could make the hair blond?





I tried


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## Stephanie Bustcakes (Dec 26, 2021)

Bryagh is the dragon belonging to Ommadon, the guy from my current avatar. Thanks, Santa!


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## We Are The Witches (Dec 26, 2021)

Jaded Optimist said:


> I love it!
> View attachment 2831135
> If some could make the hair blond?


I don't think I can access the original file anymore, so I tried my best with a color layer.

I'm so happy that you like it, hopefully the elves gave you the image with the full resolution.


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## PS2 Kiryu (Dec 26, 2021)

Eyo you broke the Secret Santa club Rule #1
 we dont talk whos the secret santa.
Pretty nitto art piece. Im still waiting for the degenerate ive SS to post my PC art....and waiting for my gift too


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## Jaded Optimist (Dec 26, 2021)

We Are The Witches said:


> I don't think I can access the original file anymore, so I tried my best with a color layer.
> 
> I'm so happy that you like it, hopefully the elves gave you the image with the full resolution.
> View attachment 2831254


That's great!  You're the best, and you gave my husband a big laugh.  I'm tempted to print this and hang it in my kitchen.
@PS2 Kiryu nah, its always been cool to reveal yourself once your gift is posted.


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## Happy Fish (Dec 27, 2021)

I got a link to an article.








						Bette Davis and the Hollywood Canteen
					

Today, I'm writing about Bette Davis' role in co-founding and running the famous Hollywood Canteen. The photo above shows her serving c...




					www.oldhollywoodfilms.com
				




My gift for them isn't done yet so... It's the thought that counts?


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Dec 27, 2021)

IF YOU HAVEN'T RECIVED YOUR GIFT YET:

-Make sure you can receive DM's, one of our helpers is a mod and can message anyone but I can't do the same. Go to account details > settings > privacy to activate DM's for all members.

-Some of yall bitches haven't sent me gifts yet, so I have quite a few people on my list waiting for gifts. Remember the deadline is now January 1st

-I have a few that aren't attaching properly and I need to troubleshoot and I have resorted to drinking


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## Coffee Druid (Dec 27, 2021)

Between work being slammed and me getting a cold over Christmas weekend I've been a bit stressed. But this pic's soft style is rather calming and idyllic.  Warms me up inside. Like when I hang out with my chickens in real life.


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## The Last Stand (Dec 27, 2021)

Coffee Druid said:


> Between work being slammed and me getting a cold over Christmas weekend I've been a bit stressed. But this pic's soft style is rather calming and idyllic.  Warms me up inside. Like when I hang out with my chickens in real life.
> View attachment 2831744


Looks like a hen. Now I'm hungry.


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## UnKillShredDur (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> I keep checking to see if my Santa helper has come online yet but they don't appear to have been on since Christmas Eve. so unless they dispatched my present to its recipient early (I sent it to them last Monday) it's probably unlikely they have it, yet.


Last year I didn't even get a gift (The spirit bots fixed that, so it's fine) but also the person who I gave a gift to never posted it either. I feel you man.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Dec 27, 2021)

Got mine.


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## spiritofamermaid (Dec 27, 2021)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> IF YOU HAVEN'T RECIVED YOUR GIFT YET:
> 
> -Make sure you can receive DM's, one of our helpers is a mod and can message anyone but I can't do the same. Go to account details > settings > privacy to activate DM's for all members.
> 
> ...


I replied to the person who assigned me my recipient; should I send it to you instead?


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## SilenceIsViolence (Dec 27, 2021)

I'm absolutely in love with mine:

It's so perfect and spot on, I love it. Thank you so much, I am using this as my pfp for everything.


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## Raoul_Duke (Dec 27, 2021)

"Merry Christmas to you, and your family as well!
I hope this great season find you and all swell!
I do hope this gift causes no great alarm
And that you're having a blast on this Kiwi Farm.

"I shall not delay this present much more
for I'm sure you have threads and lolcows to explore
I give unto you for the low cost of free,
this unique painted bottle @Null NFT.
This bottle's worth thousands on the market you see,
so make note of my Christmas generosity!

"And now I must go, I hear realatives calling,
No doubt I'll have gossip and hugs soon befalling,
but I'll take this last moment to wish joy without end,
To you and your loved ones, God Bless you my Friend!"

To whoever made this, thank you. It's been a long year for me, and for everyone as well. Merry Christmas to you, and hope that whoever you are, that you have a wonderful New Year to come as well.

 Regards, 
 Traincake


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## decaydent (Dec 27, 2021)

Raising hell suits me and I guess I have to knit a red scarf next  Thx to whomever!


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## Jah Hates Kaffirs (Dec 27, 2021)

This is great and I love it and probably more then I deserve given this was my signup:


Jah Hates Kaffirs said:


> *Name:* Jah Hates Kaffirs
> *Likes: *Jah
> *Dislikes: *Kaffirs
> *Fun Fact About You:* It's not a Rasta thing.
> *Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000?:* The only spirit I recognize is the Spirit of Allah (swt).


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## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Dec 27, 2021)

Jah Hates Kaffirs said:


> View attachment 2832009
> This is great and I love it and probably more then I deserve given this was my signup:


I would definitely cry getting this list, hats off for your Santa


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## Sailor (Dec 27, 2021)

I sent mine but I got no response and I don't get anything back?


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## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Dec 27, 2021)

Sailor said:


> I sent mine but I got no response and I don't get anything back?





MerriedxReldnahc said:


> IF YOU HAVEN'T RECIVED YOUR GIFT YET:
> 
> -Make sure you can receive DM's, one of our helpers is a mod and can message anyone but I can't do the same. Go to account details > settings > privacy to activate DM's for all members.
> 
> ...


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## Overly Serious (Dec 27, 2021)

Crepidodera fulvicornis said:


> I would definitely cry getting this list, hats off for your Santa


Wow! You're even meaner to your santa than mine was to me. You gave them nothing to work with. I'm amazed they didn't just draw a lump of coal!


Sailor said:


> I sent mine but I got no response and I don't get anything back?


I've never received a response to my message and I sent my gift to the helper a week ago. They have now shown as logged in since Christmas Eve. but I've heard nothing. You are not alone.

Next year I am definitely volunteering to help.


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## Samoyed (Dec 27, 2021)

whoever made this, imma give u chikns 4 life


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## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Dec 27, 2021)

Here's a lovely collection of photos taken by my Secret Santa in an antique shop, specifically of my favourite (and weirdest) era.


Spoiler: Thank you, love!


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## Heckler1 (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> I've never received a response to my message and I sent my gift to the helper a week ago. They have now shown as logged in since Christmas Eve. but I've heard nothing. You are not alone.


Same. I don't wan to message another Elf because I don't know if they got it but just didn't respond because they're busy.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> I've never received a response to my message and I sent my gift to the helper a week ago. They have now shown as logged in since Christmas Eve. but I've heard nothing. You are not alone.
> 
> Next year I am definitely volunteering to help.


I didn't either, but I don't want to bother them. I am starting to wonder though because I made my gift very early.


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## Amber the Hedgehog (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> I've never received a response to my message and I sent my gift to the helper a week ago. They have now shown as logged in since Christmas Eve. but I've heard nothing. You are not alone.
> 
> Next year I am definitely volunteering to help.





Heckler1 said:


> Same. I don't wan to message another Elf because I don't know if they got it but just didn't respond because they're busy.





Dolphin Lundgren said:


> I didn't either, but I don't want to bother them. I am starting to wonder though because I made my gift very early.


I'm actually kinda relieved to hear this because I didn't get any confirmations of my gift either. I didn't know if I should get any as this is my first year but I was still wierded out that not even like or feels to show they got it. I was feeling really paranoid and unsure what do.

Wondering if that early hypothesis is correct, I sended mine on Dec 18 so I think that was pretty early.


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## Overly Serious (Dec 27, 2021)

Heckler1 said:


> Same. I don't wan to message another Elf because I don't know if they got it but just didn't respond because they're busy.


Yeah, I'm trying to balance the possibility that they're just really busy (which is quite probable) with my worry that something has gone wrong. My recipient has been online. My elf did appear yesterday so should be around. Maybe they're working their way through it. My guess is that they are working on the basis that they'll send it all out on the 1st January deadline? There's a slight risk this might identify who I am a Santa for (but probably not), so my elf was @Sammy . Possibly that might help others determine if there's a pattern. We're probably all just over-anxious worriers. But it would be nice to know when our gifts have gone out.

Like I say, next year I will volunteer if they'll have me.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> Yeah, I'm trying to balance the possibility that they're just really busy (which is quite probable) with my worry that something has gone wrong. My recipient has been online. My elf did appear yesterday so should be around. Maybe they're working their way through it. My guess is that they are working on the basis that they'll send it all out on the 1st January deadline? There's a slight risk this might identify who I am a Santa for (but probably not), so my elf was @Sammy . Possibly that might help others determine if there's a pattern. We're probably all just over-anxious worriers. But it would be nice to know when our gifts have gone out.
> 
> Like I say, next year I will volunteer if they'll have me.



So was mine.


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## Vlinny-kun (Dec 27, 2021)

I received a picture of my boy! Just what I wanted!


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## The Last Stand (Dec 27, 2021)

I'm glad to see that people are receiving their Secret Santa gifts. We have many talented, creative artists here on here!



Overly Serious said:


> I've never received a response to my message and I sent my gift to the helper a week ago. They have now shown as logged in since Christmas Eve. but I've heard nothing. You are not alone.


I've handed out a few gifts yesterday. So far, I've only received 21. I'm still looking through my DMs for missing gifts and such. We will begin to contact the Spirit Bots shortly to hand out make up gifts.


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## We Are The Witches (Dec 27, 2021)

I got an awesome gift, it's a story that features DSP and lots of funny references. Thank you Secret Santa!

Merry belated Christmas, fren! I unfortunately couldn't find the time to make the picture I wanted, so I hope this short story will suffice. Cheers!



Spoiler



The tech was new, yet so familiar to him. He traced his pudgy fingertips along the subtle curves of the controller in his hand, marveling at how its two halves were conjoined by an ethereal blue film. He could move either end independently, though the curiously glowing miasma would draw them together the moment he stopped touching either end.
"What the hell is this?" The stout man asked in a nasal whine.
"Those," a robotic drone responded, "Are JOYCONS: Jabroni-Operable Yttrium Controllers for Omnipresent Neurolinked Starbeings. We've drawn inspiration from Earth inventions to create a device suited to human use."
The man snorted loudly enough for it to echo down the metal corridor they were in.
"Yeah, well, they better not drift too bad."
His second snort went ignored by the detractron, which continued on with its explanation without a moment's pause.
"Now, Phil, it's paramount that you use this device responsibly. Admittedly, there were many others better suited to its use than you; though they were all destroyed by a powerful and ever-growing threat: the liberal gaming media. You are the last true gamer left, and so-"
The clicking of a button being repeatedly pressed cut the bot off. For a long moment it watched Phil with dead, glowing eyes as he mindlessly clacked at the controls with his thumb.
"What... are you doing?"
"I'm skipping this pointless dialog." Phil answered while continuing to mash what would be the 'A' button.
"But... this is crucial information," The detractron buzzed, "I'm not only explaining the importance of this war, but how to use those JOYCONS to-"
"Booooooriiiiiiing," Phil made what the bot could only assume was a laugh, though it sounded more like the portly man was gargling gravel while descending a particularly bumpy waterslide.
"If I could sigh," the detractron muttered, "I'm quite certain that this interaction would provide a suitable opprotunity for me to do so. Alas."
"So what does this thing even do?" Phil asked while squinting through the dim light between the controllers.
"Once I've activated the Neurotransmitter, a signal will be projected from your innermost psyche into the cosmos, calling forth an extrademensional being that resonates with your deepest desires."
"Oooooh, my deepest desires you say?" Phil suggestively wiggled his eyebrows at the machine.
"Yes."
"So a beautiful space lady might come out of this thing?"
"Potentially. However, given your parameters it's more likely that-"
"And we could make sweet, sweet space love."
Another chortle from Phil later, the bot continued.
"Now then, we must train you to control such a being. Proceeding unprepared may result in-"
"Enough of this tutorial bullshit!" Phil snorted, "Just give me my character already."
"But I must stress the importance of-"
"-do you want my help or not?"
The following silence was long and heavy, only broken by the occasional sniff or honk Phil made as he fought off his second-largest enemy: his throat phlegm.
"Very well," the detractron buzzed. A mechanical digit emerged from a compartment on its rectangular body, extending to the center of the film between the controllers.
"Focus now, Phil," the computer spoke, "will your preferred fighter into existence. Call to it from the deepest corners of your heart. What emerges from this controller will be your partner, your souls intertwined forevermore."
"Yeah, yeah, I already said I wanted a sexy space lady. Just get on with it already!"
There was a sound similar to a raindrop landing in a puddle as the robot's fingertip finally connected with the static field between the JOYCONS. There was a flash of bright, golden light beside Phil that slowly morphed from a shimmering mist into a more defined shape. Its image grew clearer... and clearer... until with a hollow pop it became a physical being.
"No... way!" Phil squealed.
Before him stood a massive entity- seven feet tall at the very least- with a bulk comprised mostly of toned muscle mass. Washboard abs and biceps like bowling balls flexed beneath a broad head. In fact, the creature mostly resembled a human, with its muscular bulk being supported by two smooth, tan legs. The only clothing it bore was a tight speedo with a suggestively large bulge, only partially covered by a bulky wrestling champion belt. The being tossed its head back, and despite its lack of a mouth- or any facial features, really- bellowed in a deep and bombastic roar.
It was only once the ship had stopped rumbling in the wake of the beast's outburst that Phil spoke up again.
"What the fuck is this? I mean, it's pretty badass I guess, but didn't you say I was supposed to get the being of my deepest desire? Why's it a big naked dude?"
"Yes, that is correct. It would seem that-"
Phil snorted in a particularly disruptive way. "Even space tech is glitched! What are these bugged summoning mechanics?"
Both the robot and extraterrestrial being watched Phil in silence as he again flooded the corridor with his strange, gurgly laughter.
"So how do you work this thing anyway?" Phil asked while mashing random buttons.
"You must exercise caution when operating the JOYCONS-" The detractron blurted as the large, sweaty being began stomping about the ship via Phil's inputs. "It may take several days of training to become proficient. Until then, you must-"
A swift kick by a chiseled leg crumpled the bot mid-sentence. As it crashed, motionless, to the ground, Phil had another outburst of laughter.
"That was cool as fuck! I wonder what else this baby can do!"
It was then, along with an unfortunate combination of inputs, that the muscleman performed an extraordinarily sick backflip before delivering an atomic flying knee to the ship's metallic hull.
The alloy of the ship punctured like wet paper, violently sucking Phil out into the void of space. As he floated into the cold nothingness, he used his last breath to say one last thing:
"These controls are bullshit."


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## spiritofamermaid (Dec 27, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> Yeah, I'm trying to balance the possibility that they're just really busy (which is quite probable) with my worry that something has gone wrong. My recipient has been online. My elf did appear yesterday so should be around. Maybe they're working their way through it. My guess is that they are working on the basis that they'll send it all out on the 1st January deadline? There's a slight risk this might identify who I am a Santa for (but probably not), so my elf was @Sammy . Possibly that might help others determine if there's a pattern. We're probably all just over-anxious worriers. But it would be nice to know when our gifts have gone out.
> 
> Like I say, next year I will volunteer if they'll have me.





Dolphin Lundgren said:


> So was mine.


Same wrt Sammy being my elf.

>_>


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## Cynically Insane (Dec 27, 2021)

The Last Stand said:


> I'm glad to see that people are receiving their Secret Santa gifts. We have many talented, creative artists here on here!
> 
> 
> I've handed out a few gifts yesterday. So far, I've only received 21. I'm still looking through my DMs for missing gifts and such. We will begin to contact the Spirit Bots shortly to hand out make up gifts.


I think the issue is that those of us with that same elf still have the gifts we made sitting undelivered.  We worked hard on them and want them delivered to our recipients.  Can I DM you my recipient's name and the gift so you can send it?


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## The Last Stand (Dec 27, 2021)

Cynically Insane said:


> I think the issue is that those of us with that same elf still have the gifts we made sitting undelivered.  We worked hard on them and want them delivered to our recipients.  Can I DM you my recipient's name and the gift so you can send it?


Yes, please do that.

Anybody who has gifts to hand out, DM me along with who's it's going to. 

Perhaps for future Secret Santas, it should be a rule to show the gift you've gotten on the corresponding thread.


----------



## Mealy Mouth Spittle (Dec 27, 2021)

I got a DM with my gift, but there were some technical difficulties and when I try to open the attachment, I get an "oops something went wrong" message.  I let my elf know, but they've already posted that there were several others that didn't attach properly -- so I assume they are working on getting it all sorted.

So perhaps some of the gifts have been delivered, but are kind of stuck in limbo like mine.


----------



## wrangled tard (Dec 27, 2021)

Kittenhouse has a gun, whatever will he do? 
Thank you Secret Santa!


----------



## Overly Serious (Dec 27, 2021)

wrangled tard said:


> Kittenhouse has a gun, whatever eill he do?
> Thank you Secret Santa!
> View attachment 2832957


So simple, so perfect.


----------



## PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue (Dec 27, 2021)

EY YO!  I got the slickest, most fire gift ever!





your_browser_is_not_able_to_play_this_audio





Spoiler: Sick Bars



For secret Santa I'll attempt to be nice
about the user I'm assigned and their name is Pumpkin Spice
plus bitch meringue, so you know this bitch aint playin'
as they are dabbling in the finest things in life every day

Of course I'm talking bout the farms
PumpkinSpice talking nice
agreed Kyle should be armed
agreed Ralph should be farmed
for all the luls we can get
Also in the mindset that all journalists are faggots

I wish my spanish was bueno
solo hablo un poco, esto es todo que rapeo
gracias to Google Translate
When I see lines over letters that's my sign that I should stay away

they mostly hang in a and ñ
almost 1000 comments they got a lot to say-ay
a fellow fan of cats, yeah I'm glad you love the kitty's
I had to google cryptids, and damn that shit get's trippy

So like, cryptozoology?
That seems beyond me and god knows that I'm scholarly
but I'll take a stab at it, yeah my body is ready
I'll put my big foot down and start rapping bout yetis
yeah start rapping Nessie, caddy or the sasquatch
where we going huntin, I'm bout ready now to take watch
hoping for a sighting that will leave me enlightened
or maybe just frightened as I feel our senses heightened
in the presence of a being of myth
you can touch grass, we're about to go touch footprints
meet me by the lake, right as the moon starts to rise
I'd tell you to bring a camera but all we need is out eyes



Thanks a million, homeslice!


----------



## Shidoen (Dec 27, 2021)




----------



## Overly Serious (Dec 27, 2021)

PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue said:


> EY YO!  I got the slickest, most fire gift ever!
> 
> View attachment 2833068
> 
> ...


THAT... is some serious talent!


----------



## Mealy Mouth Spittle (Dec 27, 2021)

I got my gift!  Yay!  I absolutely love it.  Bit of a power level, but my kid's school mascot is the tiger and I have so much tiger themed stuff because of that.  So, this is a good representation of me pretending to be a Tiger Mom to the world when really, I'm a Kiwi mom secretly within, lol.

Thanks, Secret Santa!  It's a great present.   And thanks to @The Last Stand for assisting with the technical issues.


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 27, 2021)

PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue said:


> EY YO!  I got the slickest, most fire gift ever!
> 
> View attachment 2833068
> 
> ...


Somebody give that guy a Grammy. That shit fire.


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Dec 27, 2021)

Shidoen said:


> View attachment 2833095


What was your like/dislike list, again? I do recognise my boy Big Iron, but would love to get the context


----------



## s0mbra (Dec 27, 2021)

Thank you secret Santa, it's very cute


----------



## PS2 Kiryu (Dec 27, 2021)

PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue said:


> EY YO!  I got the slickest, most fire gift ever!
> 
> View attachment 2833068
> 
> ...


Now this is lit, and even catchy. I got playing on my head from the one listen


----------



## Shidoen (Dec 27, 2021)

Crepidodera fulvicornis said:


> What was your like/dislike list, again? I do recognise my boy Big Iron, but would love to get the context


_"Name_-Shidoen
_Likes_-Sneed Feed and Seed, The Enclave, Fallout New Vegas, Obvious Glowposting, Schizo art, and All of you.
_Dislikes_-That Bank Jew that always fucks up my paycheck, Feds, Political Autism, trannies, gayggiers, unfriendly negroes, and of course Israeli Trust Funds.
_Fun Fact About You-_I got shot with a couple of .308 rounds and lived, no Ruby Ridge for this fella.
_Able to be a X-MAS SPIRIT BOT 9000? _What are you, wearing a fucking wire? (No, I'm a new fag)."


----------



## Samoyed (Dec 27, 2021)

PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue said:


> EY YO!  I got the slickest, most fire gift ever!
> 
> View attachment 2833068
> 
> ...


lol "they mostly hang in a and n". 10/10 song.


----------



## Sammy (Dec 28, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> Yeah, I'm trying to balance the possibility that they're just really busy (which is quite probable) with my worry that something has gone wrong. My recipient has been online. My elf did appear yesterday so should be around. Maybe they're working their way through it. My guess is that they are working on the basis that they'll send it all out on the 1st January deadline? There's a slight risk this might identify who I am a Santa for (but probably not), so my elf was @Sammy . Possibly that might help others determine if there's a pattern. We're probably all just over-anxious worriers. But it would be nice to know when our gifts have gone out.
> 
> Like I say, next year I will volunteer if they'll have me.


I've had a very busy set of days. I'm gonna start a sendin' tomorrow.


----------



## wrangled tard (Dec 28, 2021)

wrangled tard said:


> Kittenhouse has a gun, whatever will he do?
> Thank you Secret Santa!
> View attachment 2832957


I thought of a joke, he crossed state lions? I could probably retroactively fit that in somewhere.


----------



## ornery (Dec 28, 2021)

got an absolutely awesome gift here. fuck pineapples, all my homies hate pineapples, every pineapple on earth should be destroyed by sexy women and that's objective fact.


----------



## Probably An Autist (Dec 28, 2021)

got my gift. I have a feeling my Santa had a last minute panic lmao. If that's the case I get you my guy, no worries. Nice wojaks.


----------



## Vault (Dec 28, 2021)

Oh , this is just gorgeous. Thank you so much Secret santa, I LOVE the faded tree effect, it's so pretty. 


Spoiler









Thanks for the delivery @Sammy !


----------



## Sammy (Dec 28, 2021)

Yeah I'm getting through them. Apologies again for delays, I know people want them.

I -should- be done with my delivery queue sitting in my mailbox within the hour. I'll round back with the other elves and check they've done all their deliveries, at which point if someone hasn't gotten something, let us know so we can track down if the gift is still being worked on, or if we're stupid and somehow it slipped by us in the lists. Remember, technically the last turn in date is New Years, so if you haven't gotten anything yet, don't fret, but we can at least do a check and see where all the progress is at.

I'll do those updates in the original thread. This one's for enjoying yer gifts with kiwi frens, we'll leave all the paperwork in the other.


----------



## Ichiban Kasuga (Dec 28, 2021)

I love u, secret santa. This is very epic and poggers.


----------



## Hongourable Madisha (Dec 28, 2021)

ornery said:


> got an absolutely awesome gift here. fuck pineapples, all my homies hate pineapples, every pineapple on earth should be destroyed by sexy women and that's objective fact.
> View attachment 2835597


I love the pineapple monsters' facial expressions, that's gold.


----------



## Snusmumriken (Dec 28, 2021)

Thank you kindly secret santy claus! I’m beginning to realize I have a very specific interest in chaotic green cartoon men…


----------



## Pepito The Cat (Dec 28, 2021)

Thank you, Sammy. You draw a huge smile in this old cat's face. Happy New Year!




Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## Leaf-eon (Dec 28, 2021)

Someone knows I like the regis. Anyways thanks who ever made it, I love it.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Dec 28, 2021)

Robo-Bears! A Mechanical fren. Guardians of the forest!


----------



## Doppelmonger (Dec 28, 2021)

I can almost hear a shutter in this photo. Whoever gave it to me, thank you!


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 28, 2021)

Pepito The Cat said:


> Thank you, Sammy. You draw a huge smile in this old cat's face. Happy New Year!
> View attachment 2835691


Your image is broken. Save the image on your device, attach it like so.


----------



## mommy (Dec 28, 2021)

I got a link to a really cool German song and a handy explanation for the meaning behind it. This is actually a super cool gift for me. I'm part German and I love learning more about the culture. Sadly my German grandparents have passed, but I would have loved to share this with them. I can definitely see myself listening to this while gaming too! 
Thanks a bunch Santa 


Spoiler: My gift



Merry Christmas!
After some delay, your Secret Santa Gift is in!
Enjoy!

We Summon Your Wolves
-----
(An adaptation of the German song "Wir rufen deine Wölfe")








						Wir rufen deine Wölfe [German neo folk song][+English translation]
					

The movie scenes are from here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbZVrWUlJ0Ahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67pyFdzuaJcA poem from Friedrich Hielscher, which ...




					m.youtube.com
				



We summon forth your grey wolves,
We summon forth your spear,
And we summon all the Twelve,
From Heaven down to here,
You are summoned here for all,
The wild hunt begins,
Now hear the silver horns' call,
Now hear the mighty din,
We swear the foe shall perish,
Before the morning breaks,
We swear the foe shall perish,
Before the morning breaks,
We summon forth your grey wolves,
We summon forth your spear,
And we summon all the Twelve,
From Heaven down to here, (x2)
The old games have no titles,
The fighter has no face,
The horses have no bridles,
The judgement is in place,
The night encroaches daily,
The harvest has been shed,
The crows are growing hungry,
They cry out to be fed,
The hunt is not yet over,
Now shield us Lord, we pray!
The hunt is not yet over,
Now shield us Lord, we pray!
We summon forth your grey wolves,
We summon forth your spear,
And we summon all the Twelve,
From Heaven down to here, (x2)
[Neofolk noises]
We summon forth your grey wolves,
We summon forth your spear,
And we summon all the Twelve,
From Heaven down to here, (x2)
[Neofolk noises]
-----
Notes
The song is told from the view of the sage or seer in the video. Before the battle with Roman forces he calls upon the Valkyries, who rode on wolves and wielded spears, and the Twelve major gods of Germanic paganism.
They were summoned for 'all' which here means the old Germanic world, misty forests and villages and all that stuff we're told to RETVRN to. I don't know if the Germanic tribes would've used silver horns on the battlefield but it sounds cool and fits the rhythm.
The sage also receives a grand vision into the future of Germany and Europe (I like to think it was accidental and he used too much virgin's blood). The next two stanzas are both a narration of the battle and fragmented recollections of his vision. As prophecies I don't have specific meanings in mind, except that the line about horses refers to the as yet untamed America.
The seer learns that the tribes will defeat the Romans now and surpass them in the future. However history is a bloody and double-edged sword, no one wins completely and this keeps with the ominous tone of the song. He's seen contemplating this in the last shot. I kept it close to the German version, which includes keeping the 'Lord' and 'Heaven' in reference to Odin and the pagan afterlife(s) despite appearing Christian.
That reminds me, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
- Your Secret Santa


----------



## Loona (Dec 28, 2021)

Got some sick photos of abandoned buildings. These are great and I will definitely be using them as wallpapers. Thanks so much!


Spoiler


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 28, 2021)

Loona said:


> Got some sick photos of abandoned buildings. These are great and I will definitely be using them as wallpapers. Thanks so much!
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...


That last picture is "abandoned?" Shit, that looks nice.


----------



## Pepito The Cat (Dec 28, 2021)

The Last Stand said:


> Your image is broken. Save the image on your device, attach it like so.


Done. It was a  video.


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 28, 2021)

Pepito The Cat said:


> Thank you, Sammy. You draw a huge smile in this old cat's face. Happy New Year!
> View attachment 2837025


I've seen that cat before. The Simpsons? Arriba!


----------



## Gorgar (Dec 28, 2021)

I got a really nice picture!
I might consider getting it professionally framed.


----------



## Pepito The Cat (Dec 28, 2021)

The Last Stand said:


> I've seen that cat before. The Simpsons? Arriba!


----------



## Wisseau (Dec 29, 2021)

This is the best god damn thing I have seen (and gotten) this year.


----------



## PS2 Kiryu (Dec 29, 2021)

Now I know its still rather early, but if Secret SS operatives like myself, that see their recipient online and are behaving naughty and wont post their gifts, can we post our art eventually? The few folks that engage on this event, put their time and effort.


----------



## Conan O'Barbarian (Dec 29, 2021)

PS2 Kiryu said:


> Now I know its still rather early, but if Secret SS operatives like myself, that see their recipient online and are behaving naughty and wont post their gifts, can we post our art eventually? The few folks that engage on this event, put their time and effort.


I would say at least wait for confirmation that all gifts have been sent out.  I just received mine tonight.

Thank you to the SpiritBot who took over for my abandoned ass and made me this beautiful disaster:



I think that's Pewdiepie, but I'm going to squint and make believe it's Ah-nuld whenever I look at it.

Very excited to see if my recipient posts and if they like their present.


----------



## Secret Messages (Dec 29, 2021)

PS2 Kiryu said:


> Now I know its still rather early, but if Secret SS operatives like myself, that see their recipient online and are behaving naughty and wont post their gifts, can we post our art eventually? The few folks that engage on this event, put their time and effort.


I think maybe some might not be sharing because they don’t actually know this thread exists. I don’t know how you would unless you were following the original SS thread religiously. Maybe a sticky on the front page would attract more interaction.


----------



## dry roasted (Dec 29, 2021)

Secret Messages said:


> I think maybe some might not be sharing because they don’t actually know this thread exists. I don’t know how you would unless you were following the original SS thread religiously. Maybe a sticky on the front page would attract more interaction.


I was all giddy stalking my guy after an elf delivered his gift. As soon as he came online he was "engaged in conversation", then immediately went on this thread for a long time...and didn't post anything.

For real though, while I was hoping for some reassurance that I dun gud and he liked it, I don't mind at all that my creation is for his eyes only. I'm just glad it was finally sent and it seems like he got it.


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 29, 2021)

PS2 Kiryu said:


> Now I know its still rather early, but if Secret SS operatives like myself, that see their recipient online and are behaving naughty and wont post their gifts, can we post our art eventually? The few folks that engage on this event, put their time and effort.


It WOULD be nice to have some confirmation that you received a gift. Secret Santas are supposed to be public, fun occasions.


----------



## Nazz (Dec 29, 2021)

Thank you to my Secret Santa! I'm not sure where they got amogus from for me, but i do like the color green  Regardless, I am happy that a stranger took some time to do something for me this Christmas. 

I hope I see my contribution pop up here soon. Happy New Year, everybody!


----------



## Overly Serious (Dec 29, 2021)

dry roasted said:


> I was all giddy stalking my guy after an elf delivered his gift. As soon as he came online he was "engaged in conversation", then immediately went on this thread for a long time...and didn't post anything.
> 
> For real though, while I was hoping for some reassurance that I dun gud and he liked it, I don't mind at all that my creation is for his eyes only. I'm just glad it was finally sent and it seems like he got it.


That is very noble of you. I am not as noble - I would be a bit cut-up if I had spent a whole load of time on a gift and it just vanished into the ether. I haven't received mine yet, but that's okay. However, if mine hadn't been posted, I'd be going crazy with doubt. Was it not liked? Was it not received? Some of our presents are cheerful crap, others are worryingly talented. But I think for all of us a lot of the joy is the "opening presents" together. That's what it's all about for me.


----------



## TaterFarmer (Dec 29, 2021)

My Secret Santa shared some lovely (and interesting!) photos from California.



 

 



Thank you, they're great.


----------



## Hongourable Madisha (Dec 29, 2021)

TaterFarmer said:


> My Secret Santa shared some lovely (and interesting!) photos from California.
> View attachment 2837729 View attachment 2837731 View attachment 2837733
> 
> Thank you, they're great.


The last one reminds me of the Spurdo Sparde face for some reason. ebic pics : DDD


----------



## Cowboy Cat (Dec 29, 2021)

Overly Serious said:


> That is very noble of you. I am not as noble - I would be a bit cut-up if I had spent a whole load of time on a gift and it just vanished into the ether. I haven't received mine yet, but that's okay. However, if mine hadn't been posted, I'd be going crazy with doubt. Was it not liked? Was it not received? Some of our presents are cheerful crap, others are worryingly talented. But I think for all of us a lot of the joy is the "opening presents" together. That's what it's all about for me.


Mine was never posted and I’ve definitely had some of that. It’s unfortunate but ah well — stalking this thread religiously has allowed me to see so many fun creations!


----------



## Shibaru (Dec 29, 2021)

The Absolute attention to detail with this one is absolutely astonishing, I Especially love the little aspects like the Ohio License plate, a reference to my Profile's location being set at the Cincinnati Mills Place2B, or the model plane on the shelf. This is absolutely my favorite out of all of the secret santas from previous years, it's so good I genuinely want to use this as my KF Profile Banner.


----------



## sUwUicidal (Dec 29, 2021)

I'm a tard and posted my gift in the other thread, not knowing that this one existed. I am absolutely in love with the gift I received and I laughed at the jail-chu in response to my shoplifting Pokemon cards fact. The art and everything is just so charming, and incorporating all my likes as new Pokemon was a great idea.


----------



## Vault (Dec 29, 2021)

I'm not even sure if my recipient has logged in, they seem to have laid low for a few days now, so who knows if they recieved it. I just hope if they did that they liked it. One of the prompts was of a band/singer I know nothing about but I gave it a shot. I am loving how witty some of these are!


----------



## Probably An Autist (Dec 29, 2021)

Cowboy Cat said:


> Mine was never posted and I’ve definitely had some of that. It’s unfortunate but ah well — stalking this thread religiously has allowed me to see so many fun creations!


I've had mine posted and I'm very happy it was well received, I stressed over how bad it was and if I'd be the "the guy" that dun fucked it and made a shit gift lmao. I guess I know the barrier to entry next time.


----------



## Coelacanth (Dec 29, 2021)

Mine made it to the thread and I'm _so_ glad they got it! I won't reveal who it was but to my giftee this year: you're very welcome! Your comment warmed my heart!


----------



## s0mbra (Dec 29, 2021)

Just gave mine to the elves for delivery! I'm actually really happy with how it turned out and excited for them to get it


----------



## Starved Artist (Dec 29, 2021)

Hopefully the elf delivered the gift I made.
Sadly, everything has gone south and I couldn't Christmas Bot like expected. But if the mods need some extra drawings or something. I'm available. It won't be a masterpiece but it will be small and made with gusto.


----------



## L. Ron Hubbard's Cat (Dec 29, 2021)

Probably An Autist said:


> I've had mine posted and I'm very happy it was well received, I stressed over how bad it was and if I'd be the "the guy" that dun fucked it and made a shit gift lmao. I guess I know the barrier to entry next time.


Yeah, mine isn't posted and I think I was that guy. Even the elves were like, "Bro, wtf is this?" when I handed mine in.


----------



## sUwUicidal (Dec 29, 2021)

I keep stalking my recipient's profile, hoping they got their gift and will like it enough to post it. I had a lot of fun working on it and it allowed me to work with a medium I've never used before, but I'm hoping I didn't disappoint them with my minimal understanding of how to use said medium.


----------



## chickenbutt (Dec 29, 2021)

OMFG whoever made this, I. LOVE. IT. 

Best Secret Santa gift ever. I wanna have it properly printed and put it on my desk at home. It's brilliant.


----------



## Robotic Richard Simmons (Dec 30, 2021)

I'm really happy to see my gift in this thread. I haven't received mine yet but I'm glad my contribution made someone happy.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Dec 30, 2021)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I'm really happy to see my gift in this thread. I haven't received mine yet but I'm glad my contribution made someone happy.



I also didn't get mine yet, but I'm happy that the person I made my gift for is pleased with it.


----------



## SilenceIsViolence (Dec 30, 2021)

Received my gift and my gift was posted, this whole thread warmed my cold dead heart. tyvm all for the kind words on mine, glad it was enjoyed as I am overjoyed with mine. There are so many talented Kiwis here!


----------



## Accept Only Substitutes (Dec 30, 2021)

Holy crap I love this so much! Whoever you are, you're crazy skilled. Thank you fren.


----------



## The Husbando Collector (Dec 30, 2021)

My secret santa gifted me this! 


Spoiler: big image











I haven't felt such strongly deeply stirred fight or flight instincts from an image in a long while, I love it!


----------



## Just Hamsters (Dec 30, 2021)

Forgot to share mine!  Already made it into my page background - still deciding how to make it my profile pic.


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Dec 30, 2021)

The Husbando Collector said:


> My secret santa gifted me this!
> 
> 
> Spoiler: big image
> ...


Does not open for me; if I’m not alone with this, can you attach it as a file?


----------



## The Husbando Collector (Dec 30, 2021)

Crepidodera fulvicornis said:


> Does not open for me; if I’m not alone with this, can you attach it as a file?


here it is


----------



## Mao Hao Hao (Dec 31, 2021)

Just got mine (I feel shame as I still need to finish up mine, I think I made too much work for myself for just a secret santa gift, but I have to have stuff be perfect before I send it off), and I love it! Four funky pictures/gifs of a scarab, one of my favourite beetles (much love to the creator, since I only put I love insects, so going for one of my favourite beetles was a great accident). They will be great for profile pics and such.


Spoiler: Big images


----------



## Dilf Department (Dec 31, 2021)

I got my present today, it's a cute little animation, I really liked the detail of the dress, thank you so much! 
Unfortunately my secret santa was not in good health and could not finish the gift. I hope you get well soon, friend.


----------



## Overly Serious (Dec 31, 2021)

_Well I just got mine right now, barring about five minutes of laughter when I finished it. And not my usual chuckle but a hideous Jimmy Carr like cackle I didn't know I could do. Many thanks to my mysterious gift-giver. I love it! Presented as received:_

11:26AM
Oregon. 45.13393925263031, -118.93129152375907
Nothing but nothing for miles, the thick of summer. At a bar.

She sits adjacent from you, asking you hundreds questions about your life that you don't care to answer.
"Where do you work?" "Unemployed."
"Where are you from?" "You wouldn't know it."
"How about your name?" "Does it matter?"
"Do you have a girlfriend? How about a wife?" "No."
She finds that last answer particularily amusing, giggling. You toy with your long-empty glass and grit your teeth.
"Well," she flirts, "how 'bout I be your girlfriend? Just for the night?"
"Alright," you answer - the first affirmative answer yet - "just for the night."



Spoiler: 2:50AM



45.084307, -118.800919

You walk for hours. She doesn't seem to mind your demeanour. "You are so funny!" she says, slapping her knee at your quips, her netted massive bazoingas bouncing every time. She calms down.

"But I have to ask... how come you never laugh at your own jokes?"
"I guess they're not funny."
"But of course they are!"
"They're not."
"They are! You mean to tell me your - what are they called?"
"Shitposts."
"Shitposts, right - you mean to tell me those aren't funny? You've got to be kidding me. They're hilarious!"
"They're alright."

There is silence for a moment. The air is hot, damp, and thick like a blanket; there's what feels like hundreds of flies swatting against you as you walk through the underbrush with her. You both walk into a clearing ahead.

"You know," she starts, "I haven't even heard you laugh once this whole night. Why?"
"I'm just like that."
"Oh, come on! Look-" she says, gesturing towards a firefly, "It's a, uhm, 'glowie!' Did I do it right? It's a 'glowie!' "

It's funny, even a little cute, how she has no idea what the hell she's saying. You let out a slight laugh before stopping yourself. It's too late. It's not like you can tell her.

"See? I knew that you..." she trails off. A meaty rustling comes from across the clearing. You sigh.
She whispers. "Is that-"


Spoiler: 3:00AM






Before she even realizes her mistake, it's over. Her head slams to the ground and she is immediately unconscious, and the spider begins the feast - like all the women before her. You feel no fear. If it wanted you dead, you wouldn't be here right now to watch her lifeless body be dragged into the thick - until all you hear are the crickets coming back after the noise, and the wind rustling the trees, stirring the still air slightly.

There is a reason you are Overly Serious. It is not to protect yourself, and it is not a front or method to seem alluring. It is to hide, it is to save, it is to get others to leave you alone. Not because you want them gone - but because the Spider does.

You do not know the reason. You very well may never know. But you comfort yourself, telling yourself it was her fault, telling yourself it was a dream, telling yourself when you wake up in your bed tomorrow morning far away from this place, that it never even happened at all. But deep down, you will know the truth of what happened this night, what happens every time you get comfortable, what happens every time you almost manage to forget the monster always one step away. Whether it is your fault is not your or my decision to make.


----------



## John Waters Art Bong (Dec 31, 2021)

My Secret Santa made something so cute and sweet that I can barely believe it came from the Farms. I love it! Thank you so much, Merry Christmas!


----------



## Chicken Picnic (Dec 31, 2021)

I didn't get a gift back :') but merry christmas/happy new year folks


----------



## Probably An Autist (Dec 31, 2021)

Chicken Picnic said:


> I didn't get a gift back :') but merry christmas/happy new year folks


Deadline is tonight! So you may have a dude who needed more time, dont sneed just yet.


----------



## Actinidia (Dec 31, 2021)

Here's what I got. I start laughing every time I look at it and see good old Uncle Ted just chilling in the background of a cozy Christmas morning. Fantastic, fuck your Live Laugh Love signs, people!

Merry Christmas, Kiwis.


----------



## spencer reid (Dec 31, 2021)

One of my likes was serial experiments lain, and I love what my santa did with it, the padoru costume idea with the snowglobe is perfect! Thank you anon 
Very Present day, present time 

Just handed in my secret santa present, sorry to the person I kept waiting


----------



## Mao Hao Hao (Dec 31, 2021)

Finally handed mine in, I hope they like it, better late then never (even though its my own fault for deciding to do something rather long/tricky instead of keeping it simple).  Also Happy New Year everyone!


----------



## TheCuntler (Dec 31, 2021)

I fucking love the image. I can't say more then thank you, but damn... What a great painting. You made my day. Whoever you are, i hope you have a great day and an even greater year. The same wishes to all the other kiwis as well, of course


----------



## Jet Fuel Johnny (Dec 31, 2021)

I love mine!

Mine was delayed going out because I'm a dipshit. Hope when they get it they like it.


----------



## MindYourSeabiscuits (Dec 31, 2021)

This was my Secret Santa gift. I'm unsure who the guy in the right lower corner is but I like it. Thanks whomever my Secret Santa was.

.


----------



## SilenceIsViolence (Dec 31, 2021)

MindYourSeabiscuits said:


> ... I'm unsure who the guy in the right lower corner is


William Benjamin Bensussen (born November 7, 1982), better known by his stage name The Gaslamp Killer, is an American alternative hip hop producer and DJ based in Los Angeles, California.


----------



## The Last Stand (Dec 31, 2021)

The rest of the elves said that the last of gifts they've received have been sent out. If you have yet to receive a gift, we will start asking Spirit Bots within a day to commission for missing gifts. DM @Sammy, @Just Hamsters, or @MerriedxReldnahc for any missing gifts,





Hope y'all have a Happy New Year.


----------



## PS2 Kiryu (Dec 31, 2021)

Thank you secret santa, pretty crazy to see an SMT1 enjoyer. Love the moodboard (might use it as banner) and the lil Majima (not sure who the coolsanta is, i assume its ya). Pretty wholesome, cheers!


----------



## Cake Farts (Jan 1, 2022)

Ironically enough, I have not received a gift yet despite being a spirit bot myself lmao


----------



## Robotic Richard Simmons (Jan 1, 2022)

Cake Farts said:


> Ironically enough, I have not received a gift yet despite being a spirit bot myself lmao


I didn't get mine either. Bunch of Christmas jews out there.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 1, 2022)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I didn't get mine either. Bunch of Christmas jews out there.



I still haven't gotten mine. I'm starting to think I am Secret Santa cursed because this is the second year it's happened.


----------



## Coelacanth (Jan 1, 2022)

I have no gift this year.   But as I said I'm happy the gift I sent was well received so at least someone else didn't go giftless!


----------



## High Hedgie (Jan 1, 2022)

Thank you my Santa!  They are totally awesome and I love them!!  You are very talented


----------



## Nein Inch Nales (Jan 1, 2022)

My recipient has yet to post the gift I made em' and haven't received my gift yet. But anyways, Happy New Year to anyone reading this gayy post.


----------



## Zaryiu2 (Jan 1, 2022)

Thanks Secret Santa




Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## Gunslinger (Jan 1, 2022)

I got my present off pretty late but I really hope the kiwi I got likes it.

And OH MY GOD my Secret Santa is amazing! This is my gift. Thank you so much!


----------



## veri (Jan 1, 2022)

ooh i didn’t know there was a thread to post these

thank you secret santa


----------



## Blackhole (Jan 1, 2022)

obolisk the tormentor,one of my favorite cards! :] thank you secret santa


----------



## Cake Farts (Jan 1, 2022)

Nein Inch Nales said:


> My recipient has yet to post the gift I made em' and haven't received my gift yet. But anyways, Happy New Year to anyone reading this gayy post.


cheers. In all but one secret santa I was in my gift never got posted. The very least I can hope is that my recipient had a great holiday.


----------



## Born to Be Wasted (Jan 1, 2022)

Considering that my recipient hasn't posted the gift I made for them until now, I'm just gonna post it myself.
View attachment fuckyou.png


----------



## Hongourable Madisha (Jan 1, 2022)

I'm recovered from New Year and ready to be activated as a bot for missing presents!


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Jan 1, 2022)

Cake Farts said:


> cheers. In all but one secret santa I was in my gift never got posted. The very least I can hope is that my recipient had a great holiday. View attachment 2848354


And my was absent for almost two weeks, silly me getting worried


----------



## Idaho Battle Barn (Jan 1, 2022)

Pretty awesome-looking drawing I got! Haven't heard of Ronnie Dio before, but I'm open to listening to new artists.


----------



## PS2 Kiryu (Jan 1, 2022)

Dolphin Lundgren said:


> I still haven't gotten mine. I'm starting to think I am Secret Santa cursed because this is the second year it's happened.


2 years? aw hell naw, ill be your (not so secret) santa . Ho Ho Ho


----------



## Zaryiu2 (Jan 1, 2022)

I know i handed over the gift i made early so can't wait to see what reaction it will get


----------



## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Jan 1, 2022)

I haven’t gotten my gift (yet) either.  In any case, I’m glad I was able to make one for somebody and hopefully they enjoyed it as much as I did making it.


----------



## Tofu Dust (Jan 1, 2022)

I got an adorable poem about Moomins for Christmas! I love comfy things even though I'm not super into poetry.


> _Moomin: A Poem_
> 
> My heart stands undivided, unbroken
> I wander the desert of tortured dreams
> ...





Dilf Department said:


> I got my present today, it's a cute little animation, I really liked the detail of the dress, thank you so much!
> Unfortunately my secret santa was not in good health and could not finish the gift. I hope you get well soon, friend.
> 
> 
> ...


Why is it moving so fast?


----------



## Everybody (Jan 1, 2022)

I got a short mystery novel! Thanks to whoever wrote it <3 I hope you had a merry christmas and all that jazz  cheers!




Spoiler: ~Secret mystery novel~



*WELCOME USER ID:2847

 ENTER PASSWORD:

 ************



 LOGGING IN…



 REQUEST FOR FOLDER #348



 YOU DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO THIS FOLDER. PLEASE SCAN A LEVEL 5 ID CARD FOR ACCESS TO THIS FOLDER.



 THANK YOU, DR. THORNE. I HOPE YOU HAD A PLEASANT HOLIDAY.



 OPENING FOLDER #348



 REQUESTING FILENAME: CASINO



 OPENING FILE



 PLAY THE VIDEO? Y/N



 Y



 PLAYING VIDEO









*


_A camera screen is panned across what appears to be a run-down, long neglected casino. The location cannot be determined, but a group of smiling teens are standing at the entrance, each with their own camera setups either attached to their heads or in their hands. Some of them wave as the camera is turned back to face the person holding it.

 An athletic looking male teen (possibly seventeen or eighteen) smirks into the lens before speaking._

“Hey guys! Welcome to another episode of ‘Exploring with Corey’! I checked out all your recommendations out in the comments from the previous one and decided to choose the Lucky Star Casino in [REDACTED]! Thanks to SummontheGod64 for such a cool place, we somehow had never even heard of it until you sent the coordinates.

_The camera pans back to face the casino, doing a sweeping shot of the entire building. As Corey jogs back to the waiting group in front, the camera screen starts to glitch and skips ahead by an unknown amount of time.

 A corridor can be seen, lit by the beams of several torches. The scarlet wallpaper is peeling in places and the carpet bears stains and many tears from having been pulled out by rats or other vermin. There are a few doors, all closed, and despite the attempts of both Corey and his friends, they cannot be opened. The corridor ends at a final door, this one looking oddly new and polished compared to the rest. The camera moves across it, before turning around to face Corey again._

“So, we have been walking around for an hour now, and as you have seen, it’s all just been the typical sort of stuff found in every abandoned site. Graffiti, pests, rot, and neglected rooms. But check out this door guys, it’s like it was installed yesterday. I wonder what could be behind it? There’s only one way to find out!”

_A hand reaches out to twist the handle and push the door open. Bright light and intense noises instantly overwhelm the camera and the group, many of them uttering curses and confused sounds as they try to adjust.

 They emerge onto a gigantic casino floor, complete with flashing slot machines and various tables ranging from roulette to blackjack and everything in between. As the camera moves further inside, the machines are all playing, the slots rolling and stopping, sometimes ejecting tokens on lucky matches, but there are no other people in the room. There are piles of chips on the tables, along with cards laid out for players that are not there. A bar can be seen on the left, various cocktails and other drinks set on the counter, as thought their drinkers were just gone for a moment._

“How…how is this possible? Isn’t there zero power running to this place since it got shut down?”

“Who knows, but isn’t it pretty cool you guys? There’s never been anything like this in our previous places. This will be great for the channel; think of all the views we’ll have with something as wild as this! We’ll definitely go viral.”

“Seriously Corey? _That’s _what you’re taking from this?! We come across this haunted casino with machines that are playing by themselves and all you can think of is the channel?”

“Well thinking about it like I am is helping to keep the scary aspects at bay. Maybe there was just some leftover power or a generator somewhere, and the machines are all just busted?”

“That doesn’t explain why everything looks so brand new and shiny. I mean, just look at the walls and the carpet, not a single bit of dust or grime anywhere!”

_The camera does a wide sweep of the room and confirms that there is nothing within that betrays how old it is. Corey approaches the table closest to him, its surface littered with chips and playing cards. His hand reaches out and takes a chip, holding it up to the camera. The design is intricate and oddly segmented, almost insect-like in its appearance. Placing it back down, the camera resumes looking around, catching the other members of the group, who are looking around with a mix of confusion, awe, and fear.

 The lights suddenly cut out. Nothing can be seen other than pitch darkness, and the only noises are Corey’s friends desperately fumbling for their torches to switch them back on. Several beams alight across darkened machines and dusty casino tables. Voices sound out from various points as they try not to panic._

“Uhm…. what happened?”

“No idea. But the machines, and the tables…they’re all broken and old now. And the dust. What’s going on?”

“Maybe it was a gas leak?”

“Oh yeah, sure, and we just a_ll_ happened to hallucinate the same thing?”

“Guys! Stop! Can you all hear that?”

_The voices stop and something can indeed be heard. A strange, skittering sound, coming from the upper parts of the room. As though many pairs of legs were making their way towards them. Sharp, insect-like legs. The torch beams all swing towards the source, but all that can be seen are more broken-down machines and the empty drinks bar, which is now just as run down as the rest of the room._

“Can anyone see anything?”

“Maybe it’s just rats?”

“Which way was the door? Wasn’t it close to where _that_ is coming from?”

_The sounds are even closer now, and something can be seen behind the closest row of machines. The camera begins to glitch out again, but whether it is from damage obtained at some point or due to whatever is making the sounds is unclear. But as a pair of long, lashing feelers emerge from around a machine, twining this way and that as though sensing the group nearby, the camera turns as Corey begins to run.

 After that, the footage is a confusing mess of shouting, torches being dragged across whatever surface is in front of them as they all start running after him and the skittering sounds increasing even more. The door finally appears in view again, but when he tries to open it, it refuses to open. It no longer looks new either, but instead has heavy rust on the hinges and the handle is loose.

 Screams start to rip through the skittering, and the camera whips around. One of the group is hovering in the air, seemingly suspended as though on wires, but as the torches rise higher across his torso, it becomes clear that something is holding onto him. Mandibles of an impossible size have gripped him across the chest, and a ragged scream rings out as he is severed in two, blood and organs showering down along with his halves. The thing that had been holding him hisses and strikes out at someone else. The skittering has not stopped either, and Corey utters a cry and angles the camera downwards.

 Piles of strange, almost centipede-like creatures have covered his legs, biting through his jeans. Their patterns resemble the chips from earlier, but the camera quickly falls from his hands and crashes into the floor. The source of the glitching is found, as the picture quickly becomes more corrupted than before and the final scene it plays is one of carnage. Blood and bodies lie scattered in the flickering light of whatever torches survived. A hissing roar echoes as something misshapen and large clacks its way towards the screen, its jointed mouth dripping with red. The camera cuts out, potentially as a result of being consumed or destroyed._


*VIDEO FILE COMPLETE



 COMPUTER LOCKED



 YOU ARE NOT DR. THORNE.



 SECURITY HAS BEEN NOTIFIED. DO NOT RESIST.*


----------



## Randall Fragg (Jan 1, 2022)

Whoever sent this, thank you! Here's to hoping you have a good 2022!


----------



## Cake Farts (Jan 1, 2022)

I got a secret Santa sketch!



I cannot emphasize enough how much this perked me up. Whoever made this has got a talent for shading with color pencils, that's for sure. I hope they are watching this thread, because I want to let them know it's inspired me to draw and shade at that level, and I hope their holidays were wonderful. I got a bit lazy with art programs -w-


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 1, 2022)

Whoever my Secret Santa was, you rule. Whoever made this for me, you're awesome.





The Blackadder reference, Bernard Black's book. Metropolis. Cute kiwi. If those are Rabbiesboots, I've gotten a good laugh from that. The candle referencing my about me But I also love scented candles, so yay.  This is awesome. Thank you so much. <3


PS2 Kiryu said:


> 2 years? aw hell naw, ill be your (not so secret) santa . Ho Ho HoView attachment 2848703



Holy shit, man. Thank you. I'm making this my avatar. You rock.


----------



## Sundae (Jan 2, 2022)

Cake Farts said:


> Ironically enough, I have not received a gift yet despite being a spirit bot myself lmao





Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I didn't get mine either. Bunch of Christmas jews out there.





Dolphin Lundgren said:


> I still haven't gotten mine. I'm starting to think I am Secret Santa cursed because this is the second year it's happened.





Coelacanth said:


> I have no gift this year.   But as I said I'm happy the gift I sent was well received so at least someone else didn't go giftless!


Same here.  Not only that, the person I was assigned to for SS hasn't been active since November.  Oh well, it's always fun to participate, and I'm ready to offer my services as a Spirit Bot for anyone else who hasn't received a gift yet.


----------



## beanbag in a hurry (Jan 2, 2022)

Videogames and cocktails, exactly what I asked for.
Thank you, Santa!


----------



## Starved Artist (Jan 2, 2022)

Fuck yeah!  Santa Char is getting printed out and added to my Zeon Collection.


----------



## Catmannjew (Jan 2, 2022)

While I did not get a gift, I am glad my secret Santa loved their gift; which is all that matters <3


----------



## Sarah Connor (Jan 2, 2022)

I haven’t received anything in my DMs and the person I got for secret santa hasn’t posted here yet


----------



## OrionBalls (Jan 2, 2022)

Thank you, Santa! Your work is beautiful and inspiring to me in this weird time of life. Its exactly what I needed.


----------



## Probably An Autist (Jan 2, 2022)

OrionBalls said:


> Thank you, Santa! Your work is beautiful and inspiring to me in this weird time of life. Its exactly what I needed. View attachment 2850769


man thats awesome.


----------



## What the shit (Jan 2, 2022)

Now that it’s over. I’m curious if anybody had @Elaine Miller as their secret santa and if so, what did you make? I know she was banned before they gave out the recipients on who to give it to but still, I wonder?


----------



## Nein Inch Nales (Jan 2, 2022)

I received a gift from @Sundae and I greatly appreciate it. <3


----------



## e-gf (Jan 2, 2022)

I didn't get a gift yet. But it warms my heart to see mine was posted and the recipient liked it. I am also really enjoying  the creativity in this thread.


----------



## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 2, 2022)

My recipient enjoyed their gift and that filled me with joy, and I also love seeing everyone else's gifts.  Some kiwis are really good at what they do


----------



## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Jan 2, 2022)

@Sundae came in clutch and made this awesome crazy/busy piece (which is exactly what I was hoping for -- the more you look at it, the better it gets!).  Little Dali elephant with the present may be my favorite part.  Hope everyone had a great Holliday break!


----------



## MerriedxReldnahc (Jan 2, 2022)

Spirit Bots needed! 
I have 9 people on my list that need a backup gift made so if you can make one or more gift, send me a PM and I'll assign you somebody. @Sammy and @The Last Stand  will also have people on their lists that need backup.


----------



## Catmannjew (Jan 3, 2022)

@Sundae sent me this lovely gift. Thank you so much. The kiwi with the record player is the best!


----------



## slimes (Jan 3, 2022)

This so so fucking cool thank you Santa!
@beanbag in a hurry I’m glad you like your gift


----------



## Botched Tit Job (Jan 5, 2022)

Haven't received mine yet, I don't want the person who made it for me to think I'm rude as hell or didn't like it.  I'll update this when it's passed along to me.


----------



## Coelacanth (Jan 5, 2022)

@Sundae thank you so much for my lovely gift! Never ever thought I'd want to see Mosquito Man in a christmas hat but I guess I did! Good job on giving those of us who were left giftless something to smile about (and that goes for the rest of the spirit bots too)!


----------



## Beeg Snake (Jan 6, 2022)

Got my secret santa gift through finally and it was 100% worth the wait. Love the incorporation of being a cowboy, especially the vest details which I still can't decide is my favourite detail or the squirt gun with the apple cider in it. Whoever is my secret santa thank you I absolutely love it and will be using it as my profile picture.


----------



## Just A Fat Round Bird (Jan 7, 2022)

Botched Tit Job said:


> Haven't received mine yet, I don't want the person who made it for me to think I'm rude as hell or didn't like it.  I'll update this when it's passed along to me.


Same here.


----------



## Probably An Autist (Jan 7, 2022)

Just A Fat Round Bird said:


> Same here.


It's shit but here ya go


----------



## The Rabbit Holes (Jan 7, 2022)

like a fat spoiled child, i await my return submission.

here is a portion of what I created and sent out. they ( @PeggieBigCock ) asked specifically for bussy pics


Spoiler: gifs x2, sfw



i made quite a few of this dude, but heres 2 of my favorites. If you want more, dm and ill send you the Full Pack







Spoiler: bussy link, meme, sfw









Spoiler: bussy link, NSFW



drawing a mans pink butthole is the most homosexual thing i have ever done




MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS


----------



## The Last Stand (Jan 8, 2022)

Sorry for the delay, has everybody been accounted for?


----------



## Robotic Richard Simmons (Jan 8, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Sorry for the delay, has everybody been accounted for?


Never got mine.


----------



## The Rabbit Holes (Jan 8, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Sorry for the delay, has everybody been accounted for?


Nein.


----------



## Deadwaste (Jan 8, 2022)

heres my thing
thank you whoever it was that made this


----------



## e-gf (Jan 9, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Sorry for the delay, has everybody been accounted for?


Negative


----------



## Pickle Dick (Jan 9, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Sorry for the delay, has everybody been accounted for?


Never got mine. I hope I didn't get coal for christmas (or maybe not even the coal has been delivered yet)


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 12, 2022)

This is going to come off as bitter... It kind of is.

This was my third time participating in the Kiwi Farms Secret Santa. I have some thoughts...



Spoiler



For the second year in a row now, I did not get a proper secret Santa gift. 

This year, I didn't even get a spirit bot gift. (And I really don't need another late and lazy picture of uncle Phil, so please don't worry about it, unless you're going to knock it out of the park.)  

The person who I gave a gift to last year didn't even bother to post it, and while the person who I made a gift for this year actually *did* post it, they seemed indifferent about it. It looked like it was an afterthought that they posted after they responded to somebody else in this thread, and fair enough... I only gave them almost everything that they said they wanted. 

Speaking of which, the first year that I participated in Secret Santa here, I got a random google images picture of a graveyard and a depressing AF poem, which might have also been stolen from somewhere else, I didn't check. Regardless, it had nothing to do with what I said my interests were. I still fucking posted it, and pretended like it was a good gift. It wasn't.

Moreover, I actually spent time this year making a spirit bot gift for somebody else, even though I said that I wouldn't... and they also didn't even bother posting it here. 

So I have to say, I'm done. I won't be doing Secret Santa again next year. Fuck you people who sign up for this shit and don't even bother making a gift.



tl;dr I won't be doing Secret Santa next year. My disappointment is immeasurable, and Christmas is ruined.


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Jan 12, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> This is going to come off as bitter... It kind of is.
> 
> This was my third time participating in the Kiwi Farms Secret Santa. I have some thoughts...
> 
> ...


I am sorry for your experience, and agree — it’s so shitty to sign up and not making a gift. It’s not even material ones, so it’s not about greed and wanting to receive a freebie, so I don’t understand why bother in a first place.
The thing I wanted to argue though, while my giftee (?) didn’t post my gift either, the reason might as well be they don’t know about this thread at all. I certainly didn’t, and stumbled upon only when I searched for original Secret Santa 2021 thread. Granted, I’m a first-timer, so perhaps older kiwis know about tradition to share your gifts, but still. Maybe in future events it could be added to gift messages sent by Xmas bots as a reminder, to increase participation?

As for the indifferent reaction - maybe they just didn't like/were impressed by your gift? It's sad as you certainly gave it your time, but shit happens, you can't make people like you.

Probably being a first-timer makes me feel more optimistic about the whole thing - plus, while my original gift was not posted, my step giftees have shown their appreciation, which makes me quite happy; so my feelings are quite biased.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 12, 2022)

Crepidodera fulvicornis said:


> As for the indifferent reaction - maybe they just didn't like/were impressed by your gift? It's sad as you certainly gave it your time, but shit happens, you can't make people like you.


That's totally fair. They don't have to like it... I'm not happy about that, but it's ok.
But like I said, I gave them almost everything that they said they wanted in one image, at least much as I could possibly do within my abilities...

Three years in a row now, nobody has even once tried to do that bare minimum for me.


----------



## Sundae (Jan 12, 2022)

Still never got a gift, or saw the one I made posted.  Also I checked, and the person I was originally assigned to hasn't logged on since last November.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 12, 2022)

Sundae said:


> Also I checked, and the person I was originally assigned to hasn't logged on since last November.


That's actually exactly what happened to me last year. >_< I feel for you man.


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Jan 12, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> That's actually exactly what happened to me last year. >_< I feel for you man.


Checked right now — mine haven’t been there since last year as well. Hope you’re alright kiwis


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 12, 2022)

Crepidodera fulvicornis said:


> Checked right now — mine haven’t been there since last year as well. Hope you’re alright kiwis


The current world is shitty enough. We don't need people on here welching out of the Secret Santa that they signed up for themselves... But like I said, I can't do it again next year.

To more or less quote a retard (even though it apparently took me longer to figure it out than it took him): Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice, shame on me. Fool me.. can't get fooled again.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 12, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> That's actually exactly what happened to me last year. >_< I feel for you man.


Last year, I didn't get one, nor did the gift receiver post the gift I made for them.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 12, 2022)

Dolphin Lundgren said:


> Last year, I didn't get one, nor did the gift receiver post the gift I made for them.


I remember. I tried to make you one after the fact, I guess I didn't do a very good job. Sorry.


----------



## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 12, 2022)

This is my first KF Secret Santa, and I wasn't expecting much going into it, I don't really blame anyone for feeling jilted.  My original SS had the decency to drop out before the cut-off and I got a SpiritBot gift that wasn't what I was expecting but made me laugh anyway.  I was far more delighted that the person I made a gift for loved theirs though, and that was enough for me.

The only gripe I have I guess is that there probably weren't enough helpers.  I feel like some people fell through the cracks because of the chaos that was figuring out dates and all of the people who dropped out without giving notice, which the helpers couldn't have done anything about.  I do feel like there should be some form of public shaming for people who do that though.  Let's get on that for next year, hmm? 
(E: come to think of it, when I got my spiritbot gift I was reminded to post it in this thread, but there was no link to this thread.  If I hadn't already found it beforehand I probably wouldn't have bothered to come looking for it.  Next time, nudge people to post their gifts for all to see but also actually link the gift showoff thread in the message.)

If I participate again this year I'll probably volunteer as a helper to increase the chance more people get their shit on time.

Sorry for people who had a bad time, but it's not all bad, kiwis.


----------



## Jhonson Jhonson (Jan 12, 2022)

Well, if I'm still here at the end of the year I will surely volunteer as a helper too ; I hope it will reduce the number of giftless kiwis.


----------



## Anne Hyroe (Jan 12, 2022)

I didn’t receive one but I did see my recipient post the one I sent - thankfully they seemed happy with it. I’m not sure who was supposed to be my Santa so it may well be someone who’s left or been banned, it must get really complicated for the elves.


----------



## Probably An Autist (Jan 12, 2022)

Jhonson Jhonson said:


> Well, if I'm still here at the end of the year I will surely volunteer as a helper too ; I hope it will reduce the number of giftless kiwis.


I'd be willing to both help with the organising and be a helper bot. This thread turned really miserable lol.

I'm a functioning mess so I stressed hard over this, pure anxiety on getting my gift done on time and put way more effort than necessary. I understand why people drop out, most of us are speds. I still delivered something even though it wasn't what I originally planned and they were happy so job done, even if my own gift was kinda lazy. Feel bad for the rest of you guys.


----------



## Vault (Jan 12, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> This is going to come off as bitter... It kind of is.
> 
> This was my third time participating in the Kiwi Farms Secret Santa. I have some thoughts...
> 
> ...


My assignment guy has been finally online but yeah, no post yet. This was my first time so it's a little bit of a shame seeing no feedback but honestly I didn't even know this topic existed for While since it wasn't featured, I was scrolling the forums... So maybe some people don't know its here I'm wondering.

There's been really beautiful art in here people had posted (the one I got too!) and the rap someone got was great. I'm sure your one you made was sweet, and nice of you to do the spirit bot gift. 

Seems it's not just you and a few others above sadly haven't gotten anything which is a bummer. I appreciate the bots who helped where they could!


----------



## Robotic Richard Simmons (Jan 12, 2022)

This was my first too. I delivered my assignment within one day. It's nice someone enjoyed it but it was disappointing and I agree with others that I won't do it again. I'm not mad, I don't really know what I was expecting. I just think part of what made it a failure is we got a bunch of people posting they would contribute that didn't really mean it because they saw the thread featured briefly. @The Last Stand said to message @Sammy and @MerriedxReldnahc if we hadn't gotten anything, I did and got no replies. I know you guys did your best and appreciate your had work, but I'm going to bow out and just say there's no need for anyone to do anything else.


----------



## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Jan 12, 2022)

Vault said:


> I didn't even know this topic existed for While since it wasn't featured


I really think link to thread should be added in elves messages with gifts in the future; not this nor original thread were featured (OG was but promptly taken down) specifically to avoid a load of newcomers to drown the thread just to ghost making gift part of SS afterwards. 

And agree, the black list should be public, fuck ‘em. Look how a handful of scamps affect the whole feeling of the event. There are so many happy Santas who posted their own gifts and got to see their giftees reactions - and then several slackers poisoned the whole aftertaste. 

This must be so discouraging for the organisers, too - again, despite so many happy kiwis who got both sides of the deal.
Definitely going to join elves and bots this year - provided this won't discourage organisers from doing a thing at all.


----------



## TheCuntler (Jan 12, 2022)

Can we maybe get a list together of all the people who haven't received anything. People could volunteer and do something if they wanted too. Like a Secret Santa roundup? I'm not sure how the Christmas bot worked but maybe it wasn't really clear who was willing to do it. 
If so, I'll do something. I'm a little short on time, but I'll manage.


----------



## Hongourable Madisha (Jan 12, 2022)

TheCuntler said:


> Can we maybe get a list together of all the people who haven't received anything. People could volunteer and do something if they wanted too. Like a Secret Santa roundup? I'm not sure how the Christmas bot worked but maybe it wasn't really clear who was willing to do it.
> If so, I'll do something. I'm a little short on time, but I'll manage.


Yeah, I'd be up for that. I made a gift and a bot gift and had fun, it's a nice creative prompt.


----------



## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 12, 2022)

I'm also available to be a SpiritBot since there still seem to be a lot of people who are in need of a gift.  I don't know if it's been this bad in previous years, but my Christmas was made better by exchanging gifts with strangers and by Crom I won't let other people feel discouraged because of some shitheads who bailed without telling anyone.  Even if it's late.


----------



## e-gf (Jan 13, 2022)

I feel for everyone else in the thread who didn't get a gift and/or theirs didn't get posted. This was my first SS. I thought it would be nice to make something special and it was a necessary push to get back in to art. I submitted before Christmas, and my submission was posted here which was encouraging. But not gonna lie my feelings are hurt knowing no one cared to send me anything 3 weeks after the fact. I was almost willing to sign up for a spirit bot after the fact seeing so many other people got gypped but didn't. I would be willing to do something like @TheCuntler mentioned if other people are on board and it's organized, but otherwise I won't be doing secret santa again.


----------



## PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue (Jan 13, 2022)

TheCuntler said:


> Can we maybe get a list together of all the people who haven't received anything. People could volunteer and do something if they wanted too. Like a Secret Santa roundup? I'm not sure how the Christmas bot worked but maybe it wasn't really clear who was willing to do it.
> If so, I'll do something. I'm a little short on time, but I'll manage.



I'm more than willing to take a day off dedicated on helping make gifts for anyone that got snubbed. If someone makes a thread, I'm game!



Spoiler: PS



It's really disheartening reading all the bad experiences people have been getting with Secret Santa. Makes one feel kind of guilty for receiving a great gift while others are left in the dust. What's the point of a fun activity if only someb of us are enjoying it? 

I really hope things change from now on, I really appreciate for the opportunity to participate in a traditional activity like this and it'd be just a big shame for it to go this way.


(Edit: Fixed some grammar.)


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## Sammy (Jan 14, 2022)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> This was my first too. I delivered my assignment within one day. It's nice someone enjoyed it but it was disappointing and I agree with others that I won't do it again. I'm not mad, I don't really know what I was expecting. I just think part of what made it a failure is we got a bunch of people posting they would contribute that didn't really mean it because they saw the thread featured briefly. @The Last Stand said to message @Sammy and @MerriedxReldnahc if we hadn't gotten anything, I did and got no replies. I know you guys did your best and appreciate your had work, but I'm going to bow out and just say there's no need for anyone to do anything else.


I'm sorry you had that experience. I definitely saw your message to me on the 2nd, and it went on my to do list, and it took 12 days to realize somehow fucking 12 days just slipped by like that where the fuck did they all go. I'll make sure you get a gift. If you wish to show up next year you'll be welcomed, if not, totally understand why. Your experience is not uncommon (which is the problem, really), Hell, I never received a gift myself.

I definitely don't want anyone left high and dry or with a bitter experience. Secret Santa's are one of the few things on the Farms I still enjoy, this and its no secret this year's SS been a bit of a rough one for a few reasons. I've learned a lot from my fuck ups at least personally with this, and I think there needs to be some new implementations for managing the event going forward. I'll probably make a more detailed fireside chat post about it when its not 1 am and I work in 7 hours.


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 14, 2022)

I suggested this last year, and I wasn't listened to... but what the hell, I'll suggest it again this year. 
Anybody who signs up for Secret Santa who doesn't end up making a gift, (unless they drop out before the deadline) should be publically named and shamed on here. And obviously blocked from ever signing up for Secret Santa in the future. That's always supposedly been a rule, but I don't know how well it's been followed. Somebody different hosts Secret Santa every year. Do you share the blocklist?

Hell, I don't currently want to participate in Secret Santa next year, but I kind of want to RUN it. If I can do it with the rules I just said.. I'm interested.
Also, if you sign up and don't actually make a gift, I'm all in favor of telling the person who didn't get their gift who it was that failed to make them one. Like I said, name and shame. I bet it would happen a lot less if those rules were in place.


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## Robotic Richard Simmons (Jan 14, 2022)

Sammy said:


> I'm sorry you had that experience. I definitely saw your message to me on the 2nd, and it went on my to do list, and it took 12 days to realize somehow fucking 12 days just slipped by like that where the fuck did they all go. I'll make sure you get a gift. If you wish to show up next year you'll be welcomed, if not, totally understand why. Your experience is not uncommon (which is the problem, really), Hell, I never received a gift myself.
> 
> I definitely don't want anyone left high and dry or with a bitter experience. Secret Santa's are one of the few things on the Farms I still enjoy, this and its no secret this year's SS been a bit of a rough one for a few reasons. I've learned a lot from my fuck ups at least personally with this, and I think there needs to be some new implementations for managing the event going forward. I'll probably make a more detailed fireside chat post about it when its not 1 am and I work in 7 hours.


No worries. I legit have no hard feelings, I was just looking at it objectively and was feeling a bit burned, but I do understand life has happened for a lot of folks and we all have lives outside of making fun of internet weirdos. Thanks for acknowledging and responding. I don't want anyone going out of their way or anything, it's just good to temper expectations.


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 14, 2022)

I'm all for naming and shaming, but it also just occurred to me that there might be some people who thought it was cancelled because it disappeared from featured.  I don't know how long you have to have an account before you're able to see posts featured for "older users" as Null put it, but if the Grinches were largely newer users that might be an explanation. 

Still, name them.  Shame them.


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## Squid Diddler (Jan 15, 2022)

Chiming in, I’m a first-timer and I have had a similar experience to many others here. Never got a gift, and my recipient has not shown any sign they got theirs, despite being online and actively commenting on other threads. Maybe they just didn’t know about this one.

Pretty dissapointed in the whole experience tbh. It just doesn’t feel good.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Jan 15, 2022)

I know I got mine (I posted it earlier), but I'm beginning to think my recipient never got theirs. And fuck if I know why that is myself. Part of me is wondering if it's just because distribution this year was just shittier than previous ones.


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 15, 2022)

It seems that a gift was made for me, it just wasn't properly sent by the ss helper. 




I fucking love it! Thankyou for restoring my faith in Christmas @Vulcanusii


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## The Last Stand (Jan 15, 2022)

Checking in again, I have gifts to pass out. Who did not receive an Xmas gift since last month?


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## Robotic Richard Simmons (Jan 15, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Checking in again, I have gifts to pass out. Who did not receive an Xmas gift since last month?


I didn't.

And neither did these guys:

@The Rabbit Holes
@e-gf
@Pickle Dick
@UnKillShredDur
@Sundae
@Anne Hyroe
@Sammy
@Squid Diddler

Edit: adding people who didn't receive anything since your last post.


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## Mealy Mouth Spittle (Jan 15, 2022)

My only issue with the Secret Santa thing is a bit of guilt on my part.  I absolutely loved my Secret Santa gift, but my gift to my recipient was a bit crap.  Not because of lack of effort, but a lack of talent.  I almost wish there was a tier where you could match up abilities.  I know it isn't really feasible since it would make matching people up even more difficult a task, but I feel bad that so many of the gifts are truly amazing and some people get stuck with mediocre (I hope it isn't worse than that) stuff like mine.

My Secret Santa person was very gracious about it (and I'm thankful they were kind), but I do feel bad that I couldn't deliver an amazing present.  Maybe next year I will volunteer to help rather than produce a present unless I can improve my skills by next Christmas.  Gives me a goal to work towards, I guess.

And next year there should be a requirement to post what you got.  I want to see all of the gifts.

Truly, so many of you Kiwi Farmers are really, really talented.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 15, 2022)

Mealy Mouth Spittle said:


> And next year there should be a requirement to post what you got. I want to see all of the gifts.


Agreed. Next person running this SHOULD make that a requirement. It isn't fair to everybody involved to sign up and not share.


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## Secret Messages (Jan 15, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Agreed. Next person running this SHOULD make that a requirement. It isn't fair to everybody involved to sign up and not share.


agreed, apparently my gift was received just fine, but I would’ve liked to hear their and everyone else’s thoughts on it, even if it’s only because of a vain desire to see my work praised. I can’t complain too much about how this event worked out for me though, I got a great christmas pfp out of it


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## Hongourable Madisha (Jan 15, 2022)

Secret Messages said:


> agreed, apparently my gift was received just fine, but I would’ve liked to hear their and everyone else’s thoughts on it, even if it’s only because of a vain desire to see my work praised. I can’t complain too much about how this event worked out for me though, I got a great christmas pfp out of it


Same, I did two and haven't seen either posted. Happy to do more if needed still, I had fun coming up with the ideas and making them. And I love my wriggly crustacean picture!


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## The Last Stand (Jan 15, 2022)

Let me look through my PMs and resolve this issue once and for all. That includes elves too.


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## Muu (Jan 15, 2022)

I never went on kf on Christmas period or new year's so I didn't know people were posting untill seeing this thread today.

 my ss got me printable persona 4 chicken this was my first ss on kf and my my first ss where I got something so thank you whoever they are.

I haven't seen my gift itt but hope my SS liked their gift.


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## Lime Rogue (Jan 15, 2022)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I didn't.
> 
> And neither did these guys:
> 
> ...



Lol I didn't get anything either.

ETA: I was fine with the reaction I got from my giftee, honestly. Not like my Christmas was ruined or anything, but it would've been nice to receive something.

The only thing I ask for is public jew shaming for people who bailed with no good excuse.


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## s0mbra (Jan 15, 2022)

I never saw my first gift posted, and I worked hard on it  can I post it? Or maybe erase the name on it and give it to a less fortunate kiwi lol
I just turned my second one in so I'm not fussed it's not posted yet.
I went into this not expecting much or taking it too seriously myself. But I'm sorry some people didn't get anything or people didn't post their presents.
I've been a bit under the weather so I've been a bit slower than usual, but I'd be happy to make some more for people who didn't get anything.
(I've actually forgotten how fun it can be to draw. I haven't really sat down and done it in a long time and have really enjoyed it)


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Jan 16, 2022)

s0mbra said:


> I never saw my first gift posted, and I worked hard on it  can I post it? Or maybe erase the name on it and give it to a less fortunate kiwi lol
> I just turned my second one in so I'm not fussed it's not posted yet.
> I went into this not expecting much or taking it too seriously myself. But I'm sorry some people didn't get anything or people didn't post their presents.
> I've been a bit under the weather so I've been a bit slower than usual, but I'd be happy to make some more for people who didn't get anything.
> (I've actually forgotten how fun it can be to draw. I haven't really sat down and done it in a long time and have really enjoyed it)


I'm kind of tempted to do that myself at this point if it won't be given to my recipient. Don't know if it's possible, but at the rate things are going, it's very tempting if nothing else.


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## Actinidia (Jan 16, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> This is going to come off as bitter... It kind of is.
> 
> This was my third time participating in the Kiwi Farms Secret Santa. I have some thoughts...
> 
> ...



I don't know why you're claiming you didn't get a Spirit Bot gift, since I'm the dumb idiot that painted your Spirit Bot gift (and sent it to @MerriedxReldnahc on the _8th_) that you apparently hate so much that you'd prefer to pretend you got NOTHING AT ALL, but I think it's kind of shitty of you.

It's okay if you didn't like it, but someone (me) did at least _try_.

Edit: Fuck it, I'm posting it, sorry you hated it, maybe it'll bring joy to another Farmer.




The painting is adorable in person and I'll re-photograph it with the new phone, both my scanner and old phone shit the bed as a Happy New Year. I also painted another image in this thread that leans heavily on shades and gloss levels of black and the ability to get a photo that accurately represents the painting makes a lot more difference than you'd think.

Second edit- I see you had problems getting your original gift, so maybe my attempt at a backup didn't make it to you either, I have no idea. Oh Farms, never change.

By the way @TheCuntler , since I've thrown up my hands at this point and I'm just posting shit, here's the original photograph I fixed up your gift from:



Complete with my thumb! You can see in the picture that some of the black is very matte- it's Black 3.0 from a company that would VERY much disapprove of me posting on this Nazi website, I'm sure. The other blacks are mixed from pretty normal student-grade acrylic. Alas, those fun web lines are Sharpie- bad habit from only painting stuff I intend to digitally alter- so this will age like milk, but I'd mail it to you anyhow if you like.

Overall the photo quality is garbage and it's very yellow (the moon in the real-life image is a very pale yellow, and I'm not dying).

ETA- and here's another photo of that Hitler painting that shows more of the paint texture, though the focus/clarity isn't great and the sleeves look a little weird at this angle:



Again, I am truly sorry if what I sent was a disappointment (The Cuntler seems pleased!)- I did my best, but in the second case I was trying to get something sent out ASAP, and I'm not an artist, I'm a software engineer.


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## Vault (Jan 16, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> By the way @TheCuntler , since I've thrown up my hands at this point and I'm just posting shit, here's the original photograph I fixed up your gift from:
> 
> View attachment 2891681
> 
> ...


I've always wanted to try the Black 3.0 and that Chrome I think they do, too!

I saw a few others saying they never recieved their gifts so I'm hoping for you it just got lost in the crossfire of multiple messages flying around. They're very lovely paintings


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Jan 16, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> I don't know why you're claiming you didn't get a Spirit Bot gift, since I'm the dumb idiot that painted your Spirit Bot gift (and sent it to @MerriedxReldnahc on the _8th_) that you apparently hate so much that you'd prefer to pretend you got NOTHING AT ALL, but I think it's kind of shitty of you.
> 
> It's okay if you didn't like it, but someone (me) did at least _try_.
> 
> ...


I have to take the blame on this one, I don't know what went wrong but I couldn't get your images to attach in the message.  I don't think it was a mistake in your end but I tried a few times to change the file type etc and they still wouldn't be read as an image. I decided to put it off and figure it out later but then got hit with the Coof and have been out of commission for a bit. 

I should have just asked you to send the files again and worked from there, that was crappy of me to not do so. No one is at fault but me here


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 16, 2022)

Wow.  I guess the only thing I have to say to all that is, everyone double check your DMs one by one to make sure something wasn't missed.  

I am pleased with the turnout of Secret Santa on my end, don't get me wrong, and I haven't lost faith.  Just seems like a lot of things could have been handled better.  I'll definitely volunteer this year, and I hope there will be more than 4 people managing gifts for all the signups next time.


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## Actinidia (Jan 16, 2022)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> I have to take the blame on this one, I don't know what went wrong but I couldn't get your images to attach in the message.  I don't think it was a mistake in your end but I tried a few times to change the file type etc and they still wouldn't be read as an image. I decided to put it off and figure it out later but then got hit with the Coof and have been out of commission for a bit.
> 
> I should have just asked you to send the files again and worked from there, that was crappy of me to not do so. No one is at fault but me here


Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not sure why the files didn't work. I guess catching Coof means you officially win the prize for getting the worst Christmas present this year. I hope you feel better soon.

Sorry for being butthurt, everyone, rolling back into this thread hoping to see a reaction to my Spirit Bot gift and finding the recipient denying it even existed was a pretty WTF moment!

The whole thing reminds me of pre-cell-phone movies where the plot revolves around something that could have been resolved in 30 seconds with a text message- the fact that we're all trying to stay anonymous here means that anything going wrong can be pretty hard to communicate and work around.

@Vault - the paint is great, it's actually my second bottle- I gave the first one to a friend to test as paint for a home theater ceiling and he was so impressed he ordered three of the LITER bottles and did the whole ceiling. I saw the first bottle's test circle before the liters came in and it was shocking how matte and black it is compared to hardware store matte black- it looked like he'd painted a black hole on the ceiling. Reasonably affordable, too, all things considered. I haven't had the chance to try out the chrome, but I have several colors of LIT (amazing) and the watercolor set (also fucking amazing) and White 2.0 (not as incredible as the black but still a substantial improvement over what I'd been able to find previously)  and quite liked COAT until my previously mentioned home theater buddy perma-borrowed that bottle to mattify all the stuff in that room that was now driving him crazy because with the ceiling totally non-reflective, the shine off the picture frames was noticeable! Totally recommend even at regular price, but if you wait for the sales it's fantastic.


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 17, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> I don't know why you're claiming you didn't get a Spirit Bot gift, since I'm the dumb idiot that painted your Spirit Bot gift (and sent it to @MerriedxReldnahc on the _8th_) that you apparently hate so much that you'd prefer to pretend you got NOTHING AT ALL, but I think it's kind of shitty of you.
> 
> It's okay if you didn't like it, but someone (me) did at least _try_.
> 
> ...


I am.. so very incredibly sorry... That you're such a fucking dumbass.
Nobody is buying what you're selling, I already posted the actual gift I got, and it wasn't that bullshit you posted. Do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Sorry @MerriedxReldnahc, you fell for a liar, and not even a good one.


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 17, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> I am.. so very incredibly sorry... That you're such a fucking dumbass.
> Nobody is buying what you're selling, I already posted the actual gift I got, and it wasn't that bullshit you posted. Do us all a favor and kill yourself.
> 
> Sorry @MerriedxReldnahc, you fell for a liar, and not even a good one.





MerriedxReldnahc said:


> I have to take the blame on this one, I don't know what went wrong but I couldn't get your images to attach in the message.  I don't think it was a mistake in your end but I tried a few times to change the file type etc and they still wouldn't be read as an image. I decided to put it off and figure it out later but then got hit with the Coof and have been out of commission for a bit.
> 
> I should have just asked you to send the files again and worked from there, that was crappy of me to not do so. No one is at fault but me here


lol calm down.


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 17, 2022)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> I have to take the blame on this one, I don't know what went wrong but I couldn't get your images to attach in the message.  I don't think it was a mistake in your end but I tried a few times to change the file type etc and they still wouldn't be read as an image. I decided to put it off and figure it out later but then got hit with the Coof and have been out of commission for a bit.
> 
> I should have just asked you to send the files again and worked from there, that was crappy of me to not do so. No one is at fault but me here


You most certainly do NOT need to take the blame on this one @MerriedxReldnahc. This literally didn't happen. @Actinidia is full of shit, and they lied to you. I already got my gift from the person who was originally assigned to me, and I even posted it before @Actinidia *lied* about being my secret Santa:

I honestly don't know why @Actinidia felt the need to lie, I don't even know who they are; but who the fuck would ask for a shitty picture of Hitler in a dress? I certainly didn't. That isn't even difficult to check. The secret santa sign up thread is still public on here.

Also, I got this:



And I even know who sent it, it wasn't @Actinidia .

If that doesn't convince you, this dumbass was actually stupid enough to say who their SS assignment initially was, (even though that's the one thing you shouldn't ever do with a *secret* santa) And it wasn't me. https://kiwifarms.net/threads/kiwi-farms-tenth-annual-secret-santa.105165/page-23#post-10814646
Just in case they try to delete it, I took a screen shot:




Fuck you @Actinidia. If I end up running Secret Santa next year, you're pre-emptively banned. Why would you so obviously lie about something so meaningless like this? And why should anybody ever trust you now?


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## Actinidia (Jan 17, 2022)

I got my gift _from _Merried and volunteered as a Spirit Bot in a reply, dude, which is exactly what Merried said happened? Merried thought you hadn't gotten a gift and was too busy (apparently sick) to fill in personally.



I did in fact make something and send it over to Merried, just like I said-



And Merried said they'd send it to you, then had technical issues and meant to get back to me but came down sick, like they said?

I'm sorry for the misunderstanding and I'm sorry that you don't like the painting, but I didn't lie about anything and your level of aggression has been really unwarranted.



Good luck with next year's Secret Santa, I guess, and my bad so here's a replacement gift, something you're really begging for and clearly need:


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 17, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> I got my gift _from _Merried and volunteered as a Spirit Bot in a reply, dude, which is exactly what Merried said happened? Merried thought you hadn't gotten a gift and was too busy (apparently sick) to fill in personally.
> 
> View attachment 2894016
> 
> ...


I guess you're just a shitty gift-giver then. I meant what I said, don't lie about things. I don't want to do this anymore. The current world is shit, why would you try to make it shittier?


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## TheCuntler (Jan 17, 2022)

I'm sure @MerriedxReldnahc can clear things up.


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## Actinidia (Jan 17, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> I guess you're just a shitty gift-giver then. I meant what I said, don't lie about things. I don't want to do this anymore. The current world is shit, why would you try to make it shittier?



I painted something you don't care for. You sent me a flurry of rage messages including a PM telling me to kill myself. But I'm the person _trying _to make the world shittier.

Didn't know Richard Kyanka had a twin, his mom is gonna be really relieved.


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## Vault (Jan 17, 2022)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> I have to take the blame on this one, I don't know what went wrong but I couldn't get your images to attach in the message.  I don't think it was a mistake in your end but I tried a few times to change the file type etc and they still wouldn't be read as an image. I decided to put it off and figure it out later but then got hit with the Coof and have been out of commission for a bit.
> 
> I should have just asked you to send the files again and worked from there, that was crappy of me to not do so. No one is at fault but me here


Did you ever have issues with sending mine? Im guessing the guy got it just didn't bother to post but now that I remember it was you I do wonder if it's any issue we both missed. The attachments mess up for me too now and then so totally understand, you're all good. 


Anyway, what a total mess, urgh. There must be some sort of way to have a public check board post or something so people can update when they have or haven't received something.


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## awoo (Jan 17, 2022)

I don't think I ever got my gift. I wonder if my secret Santa pal got his.


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## Ichiban Kasuga (Jan 17, 2022)

This might be a retarded question, but if our gift recipient hasn't logged in since mid December, can we post the gift we sent here in the spirit of late Christmas?


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Jan 17, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> I guess you're just a shitty gift-giver then. I meant what I said, don't lie about things. I don't want to do this anymore. The current world is shit, why would you try to make it shittier?


Holy shit can participants be banned for being shit sports and also extremely autistic?

I felt bad for you the first time you posted, but it seems not only are you ungrateful that someone TRIED to fill in because you initially weren't sent a gift, you got an extra gift no matter how you disliked it (TWO GIFTS that two separate people spent time on as a SpiritBot after they'd already finished their original gifts when every other person here got ONE and many still with NONE), but apparently you're also illiterate.  It was explained in post exactly what happened and you're still insisting Actinidia is a liar. 

Just duck out of SS and don't come back next year like you said you would.


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## Jewelsmakerguy (Jan 17, 2022)

Conan O'Barbarian said:


> Holy shit can participants be banned for being shit sports and also extremely autistic?
> 
> I felt bad for you the first time you posted, but it seems not only are you ungrateful that someone TRIED to fill in because you initially weren't sent a gift, you got an extra gift no matter how you disliked it (TWO GIFTS that two separate people spent time on as a SpiritBot after they'd already finished their original gifts when every other person here got ONE and many still with NONE), but apparently you're also illiterate.  It was explained in post exactly what happened and you're still insisting Actinidia is a liar.
> 
> Just duck out of SS and don't come back next year like you said you would.


I hope so, I mean if you're going to be that ungrateful, then why even take part?

I'm also beginning to think the attachment issue happened with me as well, my picture was pretty big, so that could have played a part in the attachment not showing up properly (it works fine when you click on it though). No idea what the fuck is going on with attachments on this site if so many people here have had this issue.


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## Jet Fuel Johnny (Jan 17, 2022)

It's like Christmas as Grandma's house after Uncle Jack gets pissed off at Uncle Tom and starts throwing fists.

::sniff::

What a wonderful gift. A Christmas just like when I was a kid.


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## What the shit (Jan 17, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> You most certainly do NOT need to take the blame on this one @MerriedxReldnahc. This literally didn't happen. @Actinidia is full of shit, and they lied to you. I already got my gift from the person who was originally assigned to me, and I even posted it before @Actinidia *lied* about being my secret Santa:
> 
> I honestly don't know why @Actinidia felt the need to lie, I don't even know who they are; but who the fuck would ask for a shitty picture of Hitler in a dress? I certainly didn't. That isn't even difficult to check. The secret santa sign up thread is still public on here.
> 
> ...


Be grateful you even got anything you sack of shit.


----------



## Jaded Optimist (Jan 17, 2022)

My recipient hasn't had any forum activity since December 24th, so I'm sharing  what I gave them.  It's not very exciting, but usually I draw my recipient something and their prompt was all very formal, very well known artists.  I decided to send them my favorite online museum tours.  Maybe someone can enjoy them.

"Hey!  Sorry but your art expectations are so beyond my talent.  Here however, is some of the best virtual museum tours I've found during the pandemic.
British museum
Guggenheim
Rijksmuseum
Uffizi Gallery, Florence
If you are into medical or anatomy, the Mütter museum's YouTube page is great.
Merry Christmas!"​


----------



## (((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) (Jan 17, 2022)

I never post my gift because I dont have to, fuck you ha ha ha.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 17, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> I guess you're just a shitty gift-giver then. I meant what I said, don't lie about things. I don't want to do this anymore. The current world is shit, why would you try to make it shittier?


Okay, let me make a brief official statement regarding this:

@Vulcanusii was @UnKillShredDur's SS. He made his gift on time (December 25th.) I just neglected to send it out; that's on me. I take full responsibility for my mishap.

@Actinidia, thank you for being a spirit bot. The gift you made was wonderful, especially given the circumstances with this year's handling of the event.


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## jenffer a jay (Jan 18, 2022)

Secret Messages said:


> View attachment 2828075View attachment 2828072
> 
> A Merry Christmas from Jeff himself
> I love it  thank you so much kiwi friend


i just love him i have all of elo music too

oh buy why did ask me to do this give thing  this years  but if any got missjed this i be glad to do some art here

late but for all for my fan here


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## Doppelmonger (Jan 18, 2022)

My gift has not been posted and the person who received it has not been logged in since mid December, I hope that they are okay.

Even with the missteps of this past SS, I would like to participate again if possible!


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## Anne Hyroe (Jan 18, 2022)

Both of those gifts were amazing, I don’t understand the butthurt, especially given that they became the angriest participant in a thread where lots of us received nothing. Sentence I never thought I would say: Hitler was super cute!

This year has been difficult in so many ways, and given the circumstances and illnesses I think the SS was well run all things considered. Thank you to all the organisers and elves, I definitely couldn’t have done it!


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## Actinidia (Jan 18, 2022)

As my gift to the thread, I'll work on a Bingo card for A Very Kiwi Christmas. "Drunken temper tantrum" definitely makes the card, and I'm taking suggestions! I think the Free space will be "Null has money/merch problems" since we can pretty much count on it.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 18, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> As my gift to the thread, I'll work on a Bingo card for A Very Kiwi Christmas. "Drunken temper tantrum" definitely makes the card, and I'm taking suggestions! I think the Free space will be "Null has money/merch problems" since we can pretty much count on it.


Add an Old Hollywood actress and it'll be perfect.


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## Raoul_Duke (Jan 18, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> As my gift to the thread, I'll work on a Bingo card for A Very Kiwi Christmas. "Drunken temper tantrum" definitely makes the card, and I'm taking suggestions! I think the Free space will be "Null has money/merch problems" since we can pretty much count on it.


Null NFT. Add it to the bingo.


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## Crepidodera fulvicornis (Jan 18, 2022)

Oh well; since my giftee hasn't been on KF since December (what has happened to all those people, Lord), and I really-really tried to do my best with it, and it's too late for them to possibly ever post it here, I'll do it for them for my own vanity and anxiety


Spoiler: They like dogs and country songs


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## Jaded Optimist (Jan 18, 2022)

Maybe we should have a rule that in order to join you need to have been a member for x number of months?  It might help combat the issue of newbies joining then fucking off and not logging back in.


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## Bunny Tracks (Jan 18, 2022)

Late, but I got a lovely story about Kingdom Hearts and Red Dead Redemption that I enjoyed very much. Thank you, @David Brown!


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## Actinidia (Jan 18, 2022)

UnKillShredDur said:


> I guess you're just a shitty gift-giver then. I meant what I said, don't lie about things. I don't want to do this anymore. The current world is shit, why would you try to make it shittier?



By the way, dude, it's not too late to come mumble something half-hearted and claim your little brother hacked your account or whatever. It's fine, I'm not 8 years old, this isn't the first time someone on the Internet has told me to kill myself. I don't know what's going on in your life or why you were so mad, maybe you've got heavy shit going down. I'm gonna make fun of you a little but beyond that we're cool, as far as I'm concerned.

For future consideration, if you'd been a little more polite about your disappointment (and you hadn't already gotten an actual gift) I'd have tried again- I just can't draw Batman on short notice (or Henry Kissinger snorting coke, I thought that was funny and tried that too), so I went with the sketch that was working (sorta) since I wanted people to get something in a timely manner.

I hope whatever's up with you that's got you so MOTI improves, man.

ETA: @TheCuntler the offer stands for you too, you've been amazing but if you had something you really hoped for, let me know and I'll try again! Seriously, I want you to be 1000% happy. Kid on Christmas getting a moped full of candy happy.


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## TheCuntler (Jan 19, 2022)

Actinidia said:


> ETA: @TheCuntler the offer stands for you too, you've been amazing but if you had something you really hoped for, let me know and I'll try again! Seriously, I want you to be 1000% happy. Kid on Christmas getting a moped full of candy happy.


No need for that. My description was kinda vague. I just wanted something original and creative and you delivered 100%. I couldn't have asked for more. Thanks again.


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## awoo (Jan 20, 2022)

I got this very cute awoo drawing (as a muffin?) from @The Last Stand, thank you


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## The Last Stand (Jan 20, 2022)

awoo said:


> I got this very cute awoo drawing (as a muffin?) from @The Last Stand, thank you
> 
> View attachment 2903035


I didn't make that. Somebody else did. It IS nice tho.


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## awoo (Jan 20, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> I didn't make that. Somebody else did. It IS nice tho.


oh... I didn't realize that's how the santa bots worked


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## Fialovy (Jan 20, 2022)

Geez, so much drama, I hope next year things will be a bit better. I do agree that maybe we should have enforce a minimum number of months on the farms for each participant to make sure people are serious members and aren't going to fuck off.

I admit, the gift I gave I was kind of taking a risk doing something a bit different since I gave a Christmasy recipe with my notes that also had a "Jack Scalfani version" to make it more original and funny. I will definitely participate next year though.

I still love my corg


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## UnKillShredDur (Jan 21, 2022)

I deserve every bad sticker I've gotten so far, and every new one I get now after the fact. (Thankfully, stickers are ultimately meaningless... but my conscience is not)
I was wrong when I recently lashed out against @Actinidia . I didn't know that he was assigned to be my *substitute* SS (I'd already gotten my gift, even though the gifter had to send it personally because the spirit bot did not.), and I honestly thought that he was insulting me. That was my fault. 

Now that I've realized what happened...  I really do feel fucking bad about what I said. I already told him that privately, and I also told him that I wanted to say it on here if he was ok with it. So yeah, I apologize for what I said. I was so very wrong. 

You've already forgiven me, and I thank you for that. I just wanted it to be publically known that I feel bad about what I said.


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## Actinidia (Jan 21, 2022)

Like I said man, it really is OK. 2021 was a hard year with lots of bullshit for almost everyone. And if you feel like someone's trolling you here on the Farms, I mean, that's probably a reasonable assumption like 90+% of the time.

Anyway, let's get back to shitposting, the level of feels here is starting to make me twitchy (memories of SomethingAwful, probably).


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## Squid Diddler (Jan 21, 2022)

So here's my question-- normally I would just assume my SS fucked off and I got the short stick this Christmas, and let it go. But, since it seems the majority of the missing gifts are due to posting errors, mistakes, and procrastination, I feel I should push it a bit.

Are all the submissions still being reviewed? Or should I just give up? I keep checking this thread periodically, but it doesn't sound like anything is being actively worked on anymore.


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## Secret Messages (Jan 31, 2022)

ah fuck it, it’s been a month but I still want to show off what I did. I’ve never really tried pixel art before but I think it turned out well.


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## Hongourable Madisha (Jan 31, 2022)

^That's cute! I miss computers the colour of chewed gum, they had a sort of charm to them that you don't really see any more.

Yeah same. I'm not sure if mine have got lost in the ether because they were fairly big attachments, but here they are. I did a couple of comics, one for an insomniac who liked horror shit:





...and one for someone with a big titty avatar who liked video games and hated YouTube clickbait.


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## Secret Messages (Jan 31, 2022)

Hongourable Madisha said:


> ^That's cute! I miss computers the colour of chewed gum, they had a sort of charm to them that you don't really see any more.
> 
> Yeah same. I'm not sure if mine have got lost in the ether because they were fairly big attachments, but here they are. I did a couple of comics, one for an insomniac who liked horror shit:
> 
> ...


these are fantastic LMAO


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## TheCuntler (Jan 31, 2022)

Hongourable Madisha said:


> ^That's cute! I miss computers the colour of chewed gum, they had a sort of charm to them that you don't really see any more.
> 
> Yeah same. I'm not sure if mine have got lost in the ether because they were fairly big attachments, but here they are. I did a couple of comics, one for an insomniac who liked horror shit:
> 
> ...



What a great representation of @Null 
Well done!


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## The Last Stand (Jan 31, 2022)

I think everything has been handed out by the bots and helpers. Anybody who hasn't gotten anything, DM me. Unique titles so they don't get lost.


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## Robotic Richard Simmons (Feb 27, 2022)

@The Last Stand I didn't get anything. I'll message you but not sure who I pissed off so much to get the cold shoulder for three months.


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## Robotic Richard Simmons (Aug 25, 2022)

I never got my gift and I probably never will. I hope whoever had me knows that that may have been my only time to participate. I don't hold any hard feelings, I'm just glad I got to complain about it.


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## Robotic Richard Simmons (Aug 30, 2022)

I'm not sorry for triple posting. I got a lovely personally delivered gift from @The Last Stand. My original Secret Santa apparently dropped off the face of the planet or just didn't give a damn, regardless, I was feeling emotional and sentimental about the Farms while Lucas is having his make-believe period and waging tard war on us and assumed I may never get it and I pinged TLS and was told they'd take care of it, and that promise was delivered in spades. 

I got a lovely Ingrid Bergman fanfiction story written by @The Last Stand and some classy imagery to help sell the theme and feel of the story. Here's the story about Ingmar Bergman's Holiday told in the form of a couple of diary entries. 



Spoiler



_Tout est si fatigant. J'ai besoin de vacances.

Friday, September 1st

Dear Diary,

My boss has finally given me a holiday after a month’s worth of vigoureus work at the clerk’s office. The war had increased productivity for everybody downtown, especially for us typists and stenographers. I was no stranger to hard work; my mom prepared me well as a youngin. 

“Explore your craft, then others will recognize your greatness,” then, she’d give me a forehead kiss. God, I miss her everyday. 

Anyway, I think my boss is recognizing my greatness at work. Always early, firm, never inactive. Hopefully, the holiday comes with a promotion. 

Now was the time to escape the city back into nature like back home. I inherited a cottage from my father’s death. It’s time.

Eggs, chickens, cow.
Part of a complete breakfast.
Don’t forget to pray.

Je t'aime ma chère Ingrid. Montrez-leur ce que vous avez.

Saturday, September 2nd

Dear Diary,

I heard my mother’s voice again in the middle of the night. It has been what, a few months? I couldn’t just ignore it. Good thing I sleep with a diary nearby at all times.

Clair et tôt in the morning, it was time to pack for my holiday. I had a basket with wine, bread, foodstuffs and candy for the weekend. All I needed was to cash out my gas coupons before hitting the road.

Apartment in order, dishes washed, fridge clean, paycheck checked, time to carry on. I hope my car can handle the great outdoors.

ONE HOUR LATER

Dear Diary,

I’ve just beaten the morning commute to arrive at my late father’s cottage. The drive coming up was magnifique! 

The city cacophony of horns, chatter, and machinery was replaced with soothing melodies of birds chirping, cicadas whispering, deer eating. One even ran into the middle of le sentier! Damn near slid with the gravel!

Ah, the crunch of the gravel with my tires was oddly satisfying. I’m used to hours of continuous typing at work. But the gravel contact was something else entirely. Hell, I even reversed down the path to hear more of it. I hope I didn’t wear my tires out too much.

It reminded me of the old country with my parents. The cottage was a small piece of family history. Just in the center of the woods: a stone cottage with a fireplace, wooden table, paintings, ice box, and a queen sized bed.

I placed my basket on the table, ready to unwind with a glass of wine and a bologna sandwich. 

Rejoue-le, Sam. Jouez "Au fil du temps".

Sunday, September 3rd

Dear Diary,

That wine and sandwich last night had me quite tipsy. First time in a while that I wasn’t awoken by an alarm clock. Yet, it felt like I was still working. I’m always writing; that’s how I landed that gig.

I took some bread out of the basket to feed the local wildlife. The deer were appreciative of the grain with their greens. The birds were getting feisty with the crumbs.

I walked up to my Fleetwood to check on my tires. The gravel, mud and twigs have done a number on my whitewalls. I’ll have to get them cleaned up when I return to the city. That said, I’ll take dung over chewed tobacco and sewer water

I recall seeing a note on the table. It was sealed in an envelope with my name on it. It was a family photo with my mother, father and me as a child. A note with it said: La famille est éternelle.

I know where to put it when I go back to the city. Merci, maman et papa. Je t'aime toujours._



Here are the images that accompanied the gift:

 



I am sitting here sipping a 30yr Gonzalez Byass Sherry Del Duque Vinum Optimum Rare Signatum and enjoying the feels

   

You made this bitter faggot's year and I appreciate this, especially the AI-generated picture. I will be ordering prints of each of these and putting them up in my office as a reminder that sometimes you need to get away and have something to look forward to and be left with a sad yet warm reminder of things one yearns for. Thank you for a wonderful Christmas. Do me a favor each of you and take a holiday, treat yourself and learn to cherish the simple things. - RRS


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## The Last Stand (Aug 30, 2022)

Written with love!



Did anybody else not get a gift? Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Edit: if we have another Secret Santa, I'm considering either running it again or just being a backup person. I do feel bad that it took time to allocate everybody that year. I cannot change the past, but I have learned a lot from the experience. 

This is a big responsbility.


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## Vault (Aug 30, 2022)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I never got my gift and I probably never will. I hope whoever had me knows that that may have been my only time to participate. I don't hold any hard feelings, I'm just glad I got to complain about it.


I got mine, which was lovely, but I'm still a little sad the person who got my end didn't post about it. I just hope they liked it and didn't know about this topic, rather than thought it was bad. 

The one I got was gorgeous, a nice drawing of a ghost cat. As much as I love anonimity, my only wish it being able to personally thank them! I'm glad someone got to make something for you now.


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## The Last Stand (Aug 30, 2022)

Vault said:


> I got mine, which was lovely, but I'm still a little sad the person who got my end didn't post about it. I just hope they liked it and didn't know about this topic, rather than thought it was bad.
> 
> The one I got was gorgeous, a nice drawing of a ghost cat. As much as I love anonimity, my only wish it being able to personally thank them! I'm glad someone got to make something for you now.


So sorry. I cannot control that. May I see what you made for them if you still have it?


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## Probably An Autist (Aug 30, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Written with love!
> 
> View attachment 3658656
> 
> ...


I'd be happy to help next time if necessary, last year I was travelling at the time but I'm on my own this year so I have nobody else to please but you fellow kiwi bros.


Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I'm not sorry for triple posting. I got a lovely personally delivered gift from @The Last Stand. My original Secret Santa apparently dropped off the face of the planet or just didn't give a damn, regardless, I was feeling emotional and sentimental about the Farms while Lucas is having his make-believe period and waging tard war on us and assumed I may never get it and I pinged TLS and was told they'd take care of it, and that promise was delivered in spades.
> 
> I got a lovely Ingrid Bergman fanfiction story written by @The Last Stand and some classy imagery to help sell the theme and feel of the story. Here's the story about Ingmar Bergman's Holiday told in the form of a couple of diary entries.
> 
> ...


merry august !


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## Conan O'Barbarian (Aug 31, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> Written with love!
> 
> View attachment 3658656
> 
> ...


I'd be glad to help out this year too.

I loved my turbo-autistic gift and got misty eyed when the recipient of my gift said how much they loved it.  Last year was my first KF Secret Santa, but it was great fun and I'd like to help so everyone receives a gift this time.


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## The Last Stand (Aug 31, 2022)

Conan O'Barbarian said:


> I'd be glad to help out this year too.
> 
> I loved my turbo-autistic gift and got misty eyed when the recipient of my gift said how much they loved it.  Last year was my first KF Secret Santa, but it was great fun and I'd like to help so everyone receives a gift this time.


Keep that in mind when another Secret Santa post is made for 2022. 

I'm assuming everybody else received a gift or moved on.


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## The Last Stand (Aug 31, 2022)

Robotic Richard Simmons said:


> I didn't.
> 
> And neither did these guys:
> 
> ...



@The Rabbit Holes
@e-gf
@Pickle Dick
@UnKillShredDur
@Sundae
@Anne Hyroe
@Sammy
@Squid Diddler

Checking in on you guys since Robotic updated me on his gift, did YOU guys get gifts?


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## Sundae (Aug 31, 2022)

Nope, never got one.


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## Pickle Dick (Aug 31, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> @The Rabbit Holes
> @e-gf
> @Pickle Dick
> @UnKillShredDur
> ...


No


----------



## The Last Stand (Aug 31, 2022)

Sundae said:


> Nope, never got one.





Pickle Dick said:


> No


Alright. I'll see what I can do.


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## Anne Hyroe (Aug 31, 2022)

Nope, don’t worry though - admining this seems like a nightmare and none of it’s your fault

ETA: I like to believe I’m creative but never get the chance to express it so this was a joy in itself.


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## The Last Stand (Sep 1, 2022)

@Sundae your gift should be finished by today. Open up your DMs.

@Anne Hyroe, I could make something for you if you want.


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## Anne Hyroe (Sep 1, 2022)

The Last Stand said:


> @Sundae your gift should be finished by today. Open up your DMs.
> 
> @Anne Hyroe, I could make something for you if you want.


That’s incredibly kind but I feel like you’ve gone way above and beyond already  It shouldn’t be the responsibility of a few kind people to ‘fix’ the laziness of others.


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## Sundae (Sep 1, 2022)

Thanks to @The Last Stand for the gift!  I got two images and a continuation of the story from @Robotic Richard Simmons ' gift.







Spoiler



Monday, September 4th



Dear Diary,



Today was my last day on holiday before returning to the city. I wanted to make the most of it. IT rained a fair bit last night; I thought it was my crying watering the elements.



I had a bit of _fric_ left from breakfast in my basket. I’m ready to pack the car up, when a deer spooks me from behind. I guess he didn’t want me to leave. Even when I nearly had him as a hood ornament! I handed him some leftover fric; he gnawed on it and walked away.



Did he like it? Was it stale? Suddenly, he came back with a doe and two _faons. _They immediately swarmed the loaf. The male deer observed me as I watched his youngins have lunch. Like I was the grandma. I had a little bit of wine left. I poured it down for them to drink. The doe then threw up on my tire. I couldn’t help but laugh.





_Le cerf ne peut pas boire de vin, Ingrid. 

_

Tuesday, September 5th



Dear Diary,



My first assignment back to work was about two conjoined twins performing vaudeville at the theater. I’m wondering, is this a circus act or a performance? How did that happen? I love MY sister, but I couldn’t imagine being fused with her at all times.



Lunch break, _en fin_. I decided to walk down to the local diner for a bologna sandwich and malt. In the midst of the city commotion, I overhear heavenly music in the distance. I follow it down the street with my sandwich.



I found the pot at the end of the rainbow. A dark man wearing a suit playing a saxophone for random passersby and coins. How could those rough hands produce such a soft melody? This must be the “jazz” I hear about. I had some loose change from lunch; I decided to give it to him.



He looked at me and smiled. He then played louder with more passion. I didn’t know my 99 pence was worth that much. Whether his music or spirit enthralled me, I had no idea. I had to report back after my break. Not before waving goodbye.



Thanks again for the gift TLS!


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## The Last Stand (Sep 1, 2022)

Sundae said:


> Thanks to @The Last Stand for the gift!  I got two images and a continuation of the story from @Robotic Richard Simmons ' gift.
> 
> View attachment 3668910
> View attachment 3668899
> ...




Ingrid says thank you!


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## Anne Hyroe (Sep 5, 2022)

Thank you so much @Robotic Richard Simmons; I will let everyone else bask in this truly delightful lunacy too:

Gunt - A Haiku Adventure
1
Notification of stream
Kiwis jump to the thread keys clack
Anne Hyroe not seen

2
YouTube Live Stream is live
An old, fat Ethan Ralph jiggles
in spite of much heft
3
His mouth starts flapping
Furries he begins his chatting
Disgust among Kiwis
4
Middle of his show
A brave Anne lunges
fueled by disgust and hatred
5
Many spider pets
Degeneracy behavior
Punishment for all
6
Fire to kill the pests
A sharp blade towards the gunt
Faggots cry out in chat
7
Sharp Blade to Ralph's throat
Hyroe blinks not once grinning
Leans towards his ear
8
You know what you did
Forum chat begins screaming
Murder will brave Anne commit?
9
Vorpal blade now lowered
Sad Ethan sobbing and weeping
Spiders begin to gather
10
To them you belong
Back turned screaming fills the air
Furries become triggered
11
T'was not by her blade
Ralph's sad life had ended but
T'was the pet spiders
12
Food of the spiders
Kept in the famous gross gunt
Eaten live on stream
13
Dog welcomes Anne home
Forum chattered for Hyroe
Achievement she did win
14
Anne Hryoe by name
Farm fame she did not intend
An Hero stands as our victor


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## The Last Stand (Sep 6, 2022)

Anne Hyroe said:


> Thank you so much @Robotic Richard Simmons; I will let everyone else bask in this truly delightful lunacy too:
> 
> Gunt - A Haiku Adventure
> 1
> ...


Almost forgot, I have something for you as well.



Bette White sitting on a couch with a dog.

Did anybody else not get a gift?


----------

