# What's your favorite mythological figure?



## Gorgar (May 5, 2021)

What's your favorite mythological figure?


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## Geralt of Rivia (May 5, 2021)

Oedipus. He took "I did your mom" to a whole new level.


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## Samson Pumpkin Jr. (May 5, 2021)

Quaker Oats Man


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## Just A Butt (May 5, 2021)

Jesus


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## Local FloRida-man (May 5, 2021)

The Hash Slinging Slasher


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## Cup Noodle (May 6, 2021)

Osama Bin Laden


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## stares at error messages (May 6, 2021)

Fake question. History is just a trail of Jones Towns.


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## BingBong (May 6, 2021)

Sneed


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## Big Ruski (May 6, 2021)

Gigac Chad Zues, dude was an asshole to the nth degree. You can't help but admire him.


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## Crunchy Oats (May 6, 2021)

Joshua Moon


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## ToroidalBoat (May 6, 2021)

Jörmungandr?

(giant snake that encircles Midgard - the "normal" world)


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## Dwight Frye (May 6, 2021)

Odin


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## mr.moon1488 (May 6, 2021)

Loki.  I mean, he was basically the first shitposter.


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## CptnSnshn (May 6, 2021)

Glow in the dark CIA Niggers.


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## Ronnie McNutt (May 6, 2021)

your girlfriend


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## Some JERK (May 6, 2021)

Medusa. Her story is so incredibly tragic. She gets turned into a hideous monster for the rest of her life (which ends abruptly because some dude needs the power of her hideousness to kill something so he cuts her fucking head off.) All for the terrible crime of being raped by a god. But is that injustice what she's famous for? No. She's famous for being hideous. The tribulations of Job ain't got nothing on that bitch.


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## Boris Blank's glass eye (May 6, 2021)

The Non-Absent Black Father.

Racist jokes aside it's Väinämöinen.


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## Mr. Bung (May 6, 2021)

Foamy the squirrel, descendant of Ratatoskr the squirrel of Norse mythology.


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## Lone MacReady (May 6, 2021)

Aeneas father of Roma


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## Image Reactions (May 6, 2021)

The U.S. Constitution.


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## Gorgar (May 5, 2021)

What's your favorite mythological figure?


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## Governor Jeb Bush (May 6, 2021)

Michael Jackson


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## IAmNotAlpharius (May 6, 2021)

It’s a tie between George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.


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## Positron (May 6, 2021)

Sir Kay and Friar Tuck.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (May 6, 2021)

Old Man Coyote from Crow mythology. He's portrayed as having a massive penis that he frequently causes trouble with. In one story, his anus becomes a home for ducks. It's so batshit insane, I can't help but love it.


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## Pixy (May 6, 2021)

Tiddalik. If there's one Aboriginal folk story I'd want every Australian to know, it'd have to be Tiddalik.


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## Stoneheart (May 6, 2021)

Hector, the man brave enough to face the wrath of a demigod to protect his people


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## Seminal Ointments Lain (May 6, 2021)

Chris Benoit.


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## EthanDude (May 6, 2021)

Daniel Weston, the loveable village idiot who sailed on the May Flower.


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (May 6, 2021)

Greek: Sirens, Odysseus, Athena and Artemis, Medusa's sisters.
Roman: Romulus and Remus
Norse: Hel and Odin


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## Lina Colorado (May 6, 2021)

Till Eulenspiegel​


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## Synthwave Obsessed (May 6, 2021)

Some other Kiwis talked about some other favorites and why they like them, among them being the tale of Medusa. To avoid being redundant, I want to talk about the Book of Job. I wouldn't say Job is my favorite mythological figure, but I do like the overall lesson.

Basically, Job is a normal, but upstanding guy, caught in the middle of a bet between Satan and God. Satan, playing as the role of the accuser, states that Job distrust God if everything he had worked for was taken away from him. God basically responds with, "K." The book explores concepts with just people meeting injustice, rebuilding when you've reached the bottom, and grasping with realistic optimism. I don't take the Bible super seriously, but I do enjoy some of the themes explored in the book and think some of the stories are relevant today. For a lot of us, we have to wrestle with outside forces beyond our control and try to make the best of the situation. I've lived a life with a lot of things outside of my control, so I think that's why the Book of Job spoke to me so well.


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## Solid Snek (May 6, 2021)

I honestly don't know if I can answer this question. It's not that I don't have strongly-held autistic opinions about mythological figures - I do - but the trouble is, when I was a kid, I stanned mythological figures like I went through waifus. Theseus, Vali, Cuchulainn, Thor, Achilles, Gawain, Galahad, briefly Percival, Beowulf, Pryderi, Arawn and Loki when I was an edgelord, Cynan ap Clydno, Enkidu, Goku, Guan Yu, Sigurd, Ragnar, Llyr, Susanoo, *cough* Orochi (all the Chaoskampf figures really, up to and including Godzilla/King Ghidorah), and of course all the various mythic waifus I wanted to bang, like Athena, Freyja, SSX and Aoife. Too many to chose from!

But if I really had to pick_ just one_, it would have to be... probably Punchy Sonichu.




Mr. Bung said:


> Foamy the squirrel, descendant of Ratatoskr the squirrel of Norse mythology.


Is that canon?!



Positron said:


> Sir Kay and Friar Tuck


Kay got shafted by the mythical cycle, but he's pretty great.


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## Just Dont (May 6, 2021)

Deathclaw Tiddehs said:


> Some other Kiwis talked about some other favorites and why they like them, among them being the tale of Medusa. To avoid being redundant, I want to talk about the Book of Job. I wouldn't say Job is my favorite mythological figure, but I do like the overall lesson.
> 
> Basically, Job is a normal, but upstanding guy, caught in the middle of a bet between Satan and God. Satan, playing as the role of the accuser, states that Job distrust God if everything he had worked for was taken away from him. God basically responds with, "K." The book explores concepts with just people meeting injustice, rebuilding when you've reached the bottom, and grasping with realistic optimism. I don't take the Bible super seriously, but I do enjoy some of the themes explored in the book and think some of the stories are relevant today. For a lot of us, we have to wrestle with outside forces beyond our control and try to make the best of the situation. I've lived a life with a lot of things outside of my control, so I think that's why the Book of Job spoke to me so well.


Job got cucked hard by God. Satan was being logical and reasonable but God was like in asshole mode and fucked that guy life just because he could and for the petty reason of trying to score a point with Satan. 

Satan is the good guy here who question himself and God's wisdom. God shows time and time again he is like an autistic kid who can't pass on being called autistic and will fuck everyone and everything to score easy wins. 

And to stay on topic my favorite mythological figure is Orpheus because he dared go against Olympus to give humanity fire (fire/apple = enlightenment = punishment)


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## Solid Snek (May 6, 2021)

Just Dont said:


> Job got cucked hard by God. Satan was being logical and reasonable but God was like in asshole mode and fucked that guy life just because he could and for the petty reason of trying to score a point with Satan.
> 
> Satan is the good guy here who question himself and God's wisdom. God shows time and time again he is like an autistic kid who can't pass on being called autistic and will fuck everyone and everything to score easy wins.
> 
> And to stay on topic my favorite mythological figure is Orpheus because he dared go against Olympus to give humanity fire (fire/apple = enlightenment = punishment)


I think you mean Prometheus, yes? Orpheus was the emo musician whose wife died, and he had to go all Bill & Ted Face the Music to get her back.

Prometheus was pretty badass, yeah. He might have actually been my favorite, now that I think about it, but the older I get the more I question his judgment in bringing fire to humanity.


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## Mr. Bung (May 6, 2021)

Solid Snek said:


> Is that canon?!


Not exactly, but it's speculated in this episode that Foamy may either be Ratatosker himself or a descendant of his. I think Foamy's origins are meant to be shrouded in mystery as part of his character, but the Ratatosker speculation is pretty likely because the dog had another crazy outlandish theory about Foamy earlier that turned out to be correct, so he could very well be right again.





I'm more inclined to think Foamy is a descendant because he has his own brand of ideas and mythological powers, plus I can totally see him being descended from the sort of Ratatosker featured in God of War. Foul-mouthed squirrel montage begins at 0:23.


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## Blobby's Murder Knife (May 7, 2021)

Maui. He crawled into some monster cunt's vag to gain immortality.


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## Gorgar (May 8, 2021)

Agent Abe Caprine said:


> Old Man Coyote from Crow mythology. He's portrayed as having a massive penis that he frequently causes trouble with. In one story, his anus becomes a home for ducks. It's so batshit insane, I can't help but love it.


Do you know where I can read more about him?


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## Coelacanth (May 8, 2021)

Dunno if Fairy Tales count as mythology but I really like the Steadfast Tin Soldier.

Dude got hated by everyone because he only had one leg, a goblin tried to cuck him, was thrown into a fireplace alongside the girl he liked and the guy never gave a fuck about any of it.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (May 8, 2021)

Gorgar said:


> Do you know where I can read more about him?


Here's the stories


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## Bastard_Call (May 8, 2021)

Midir: Lord of the Síd, Slayer of Poontang, Maker of Cuckqueans. He simped over a fly because her armpits had an alluring smell and he beat a dude so hard at chess that he married his own daughter, and won back the most beautiful girl/fly in all of Ireland.


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## Gorgar (May 5, 2021)

What's your favorite mythological figure?


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## The Lawgiver (May 9, 2021)

The weirdly redundant or casual ones always stick with me. There's one from japan ccalled "shirime" which the entire fucking deal with it is some dude was walking around at night and another guy came out of nowhere and was like "WAIT UP A MINUTE" and then proceeded to pull down his pants and moon him. Now, this would be a normal fucking story of indecent exposure if not for the fact that his anus was in fact another eyeball instead of a butthole. This is the "shirime". A man with a fucking eyeball on his asshole that's the entirety of the story. That's his purpose he just showed up one day and was lke "hey man check this shit out" and showed a dude his ass eyeball and thus a legend was born.  Look this fucking shit up it's 100% real.


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## Monkey_Fellow (Jun 25, 2021)

THIS NIGGA


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## Da Capo (Jun 25, 2021)

An Honest Politician.


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## GenericEdgelordSupreme (Sep 3, 2021)

Baphomet, the Satanic titty goat demon some Muslim once saw during a drug trip. It was supposed to deify universal balance by being a hermaphrodite that pointed up with one arm and down with the other while "solve" and "coagula" were written on its wrists. Or maybe that particular towelhead just happened to be a closeted bisexual goatfucker... yeah, it's probably that one. Manticores are also pretty cool.

Edit: "Solve" and "coagula" are Latin for "dissolve" and "coagulate," respectively.


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## Lunar Eclipse Paradox (Sep 3, 2021)

Mark Zuckerberg. He's some weird lizard cyborg thingy.


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## PeggieBigCock (Sep 4, 2021)

Hecate, progeny Godmother of Witches. Or Leviathan, God’s first lolcow. Said to be land eating Dragon that could bring the apocalypse, is likely if anything, just the Black Carpet. A spooky copypasta “diver of the deep /x/ myth”, I remember reading the first Black Carpet thread thinking _if this shit exists, it’s likely the biblical Leviathan._


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## PeggieBigCock (Sep 4, 2021)

crucifiction009 said:


> Baphomet, the Satanic titty goat demon some Muslim once saw during a drug trip. It was supposed to deify universal balance by being a hermaphrodite that pointed up with one arm and down with the other while "solve" and "coagula" were written on its wrists. Or maybe that particular towelhead just happened to be a closeted bisexual goatfucker... yeah, it's probably that one. Manticores are also pretty cool.
> 
> Edit: "Solve" and "coagula" are Latin for "dissolve" and "coagulate," respectively.


Your rebis tranny god is the most memed entity in all of paganism.


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## GenericEdgelordSupreme (Sep 4, 2021)

PeggieBigCock said:


> Your rebis tranny god is the most memed entity in all of paganism.


That's because Christians hate it and it's oh so much fun pissing them off. I hate trannies, but I hate Christians very slightly more.


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## DerKryptid (Sep 4, 2021)

Evolution


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## PeggieBigCock (Sep 4, 2021)

crucifiction009 said:


> That's because Christians hate it and it's oh so much fun pissing them off. I hate trannies, but I hate Christians very slightly more.


Christ was a hippie Jew he’s probably one of the chads of mythology, def not the coolest.


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## Niggernerd (Sep 4, 2021)

Skinwalkers... Kiwi party in the deepest part of the woods lets go guys!


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## get_ur_gamon (Sep 5, 2021)

US President Jeb Bush.


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## knobslobbin (Sep 5, 2021)

Dildusa, cocks for hair, Medusa's much more popular sister.


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## SSj_Ness (Sep 5, 2021)

George Floyd.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Sep 5, 2021)

Ixtab, the goddess of The Rope


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## Nig Kang Theory (Sep 5, 2021)

A trad e-girl.


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## Synthetic Smug (Sep 5, 2021)

Ah Pook the Destroyer


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## Valstrax (Oct 13, 2021)

Arachne, bitch went all out on Athena and got turned into a spider for her troubles.


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## Billy Beer (Oct 13, 2021)

George Floyd


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## Just A Fat Round Bird (Oct 15, 2021)

The King of Thule


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## Gorgar (May 5, 2021)

What's your favorite mythological figure?


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## zero-who (Oct 15, 2021)

Joshua Conner Moon.


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## Poppavalyim Andropoff (Oct 16, 2021)

the passing in daylight MTF troon


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## Lorne Armstrong (Oct 18, 2021)

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## Scarlett Johansson (Dec 17, 2021)

Aphrodite, Amaterasu, and Hera. Hera was straight up batshit insane


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## BeepBoopBeepBoop (Dec 19, 2021)

Scarlett Johansson said:


> Aphrodite, Amaterasu, and Hera. Hera was straight up batshit insane


Hera drove Heracles insane and caused him to kill his wife and kids. Another thing about Heracles is that he was almost molested as a child by a teacher and he killed the teacher. 

Also Ares despite all the myths of him being hated and cruel is the most caring father of all the Greek God's. His role is really not understood and he basically just exists to get dunked on by Athena because Athenians were waifufags. He did however murder the son of Posidian who killed and raped his daughter, and in some myths fought Heracles after Heracles killed his son, his son was a piece of shit though.


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## Scarlett Johansson (Dec 20, 2021)

I never really understood why Athena turned the priestess into Medusa. She wasn't asking to be raped lmao


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## Bassomatic (Dec 20, 2021)

Gosh this is hard for many reasons, but I'll go on whim and say Grendel, or Wendigos (god I HOPE) they are mythological but I'm not quite sure.


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## Dr. Pasquale (Dec 20, 2021)

the good god himself


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## A Rastafarian Skeleton (Dec 20, 2021)

Odysseus


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