# The stupidest things people have said to you



## Legoshi (Jan 17, 2021)

"If you don't support PETA, you support killing animals." 

Just because somebody doesn't agree with an organization, doesn't mean they're going against their goal!


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## WhoBusTank69 (Jan 17, 2021)

I watched one of Null's streams once.
I'm joking, MATI is entertaining.


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## Reverend (Jan 17, 2021)

"Would you like fries with that"

Of course I do. I'm in japan and they eat fries with EVERYTHING.


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## verissimus (Jan 17, 2021)

The 2020 election was the most secure election in the United States.

That or the constitution is a "living breathing" document.


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 17, 2021)

"You're smart."

There's no way this sounds intelligent.


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## Sped Xing (Jan 17, 2021)

In seventh grade, a kid told me that this business of the sun being a star is bullshit-- stars are covered with snow and reflect the light of the sun.


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## Chao Garden (Jan 17, 2021)

Ironic since PETA has killed animals
On a similar note, "you're not a vegan? you don't really love animals!"


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## Professional Lurker (Jan 17, 2021)

"Antifa's not a group, it's an idea." - my 14 year old sister.


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 17, 2021)

Professional Lurker said:


> "Antifa's not a group, it's an idea." - my 14 year old sister.


Kids amirite?


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## Celebrate Nite (Jan 17, 2021)

"You Don't Drink?  Not Even Water?!" - Some dumb broad I was talking to online once when the topic of bars/drinking/alcohol came up


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 17, 2021)

"What does partly cloudy mean?"


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## Furina (Jan 17, 2021)

"It's the not the hand sanitizer that kills the bacteria, it's actually the heat generated when you rub your hands together."


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## Shield Breaker (Jan 17, 2021)

When I worked for a car rental place in college, one lady thought she didn't have to pay for hail damage because 'Once it's summer, the heat will just pop the dents back out.'


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## Agarathium1066 (Jan 17, 2021)

"Remember to open your heart chakra while he's penetrating you."
Context doesn't help.


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## Troonos (Jan 17, 2021)

My sister: "I'll never vaccinate my son! Vaccines are full of poisonous shit!"


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 17, 2021)

Something about young children not being able to lie or feel guilt yet


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## Nero You're DeadWeight (Jan 17, 2021)

It's a 3 way tie between: weed isn't a drug, the 5 second rule exists, and  men can't be raped.  This was all from the same guy in my college cooking class.
Edit: In a 1 day period mind you.


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## Red Hood (Jan 17, 2021)

A college education is an investment in your future.


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## Not Really Here (Jan 17, 2021)

"Do you think we have the time to drive over and see California?"~Eurotrash day 2 of a 7 day trip to Florida


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## JongleJingle (Jan 17, 2021)

"Bro, Master Chief could TOTALLY wipe the floor with Doom Guy. He's a SUPER SOLDIER BRO."-One of many friends who have told me this even after Doom 16 and Eternal.


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## Grinrow (Jan 17, 2021)

"you have to talk to women to get laid"


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jan 17, 2021)

Any of the political sperging on these forums, regardless of who the poster is hating on.


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## AbyssStarer (Jan 17, 2021)

"Everything is political"


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## Discourteous Discourse (Jan 17, 2021)

A few hours ago a relative informed me that the church she delivered food to, "performed a black national anthem before the national anthem."


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## Massa's Little Buckie (Jan 17, 2021)

>"We're gonna send the patient an order for them to do the COVID rapid test one or two days before their appointment." 
>appointment is in a couple of months 
>"Do I need to do the rapid test now?"


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## The Last Stand (Jan 18, 2021)

Shield Breaker said:


> When I worked for a car rental place in college, one lady thought she didn't have to pay for hail damage because 'Once it's summer, the heat will just pop the dents back out.'


Did it?

That if you're Black, you should burn America because we BUILT THIS COUNTRY.


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## Rusty Crab (Jan 18, 2021)

KaibaCorp ToeSucker said:


> > 5 second rule exists,
> > This was all from the same guy in my college cooking class.


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## The Littlest Shitlord (Jan 18, 2021)

"Yeah brandy has a high alcohol content, this brandy here is 240 proof."


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 18, 2021)

The Littlest Shitlord said:


> "Yeah brandy has a high alcohol content, this brandy here is 240 proof."


...Nigger what.

I don't think I've ever seen a brandy that clocked in any higher than 70 or so, and the higher proof stuff was applejack and was very damn boozy.


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## Sped Xing (Jan 18, 2021)

240 proof would be 120% alcohol.



Discourteous Discourse said:


> A few hours ago a relative informed me that the church she delivered food to, "performed a black national anthem before the national anthem."



What kind of church plays national anthems?


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## Narr Then (Jan 18, 2021)

That breastfeeding a girl is lesbianism. 

So breastfeeding a boy is sexual, but it's OK coz it's hetero? 

Ummm...


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## Yuuichirou Kumada (Jan 18, 2021)

_"We need to teach men not to rape, not how to dress women."_ - I'm pretty sure we are already taught not to do that by pretty much everything that isn't some edgelord publication.

_"Communism works, it just has never been tried before."_ - Okay, let's try again, see how many die this time and how many times the perp refers to their model as communist.

_"Politics are like the turning of a screw: The right opresses, the left sets free."

"It is perfectly reasonable to look at historic events through modern sensitivies, and judge them accordingly this way."_ - May not be stupid per se, just short-sighted and ignorant of shifting contexts.

_"If it offends people, it's not free speech."

"Nationalize/privatize everything."_ - Either of these are shit.

_"Stay at home. We'll take care of the economy later."_ - Said by local governments here in Brazil. Well, the economy went to shit and people are dying by the hundreds anyway.

_"It's not a dictatorship if it has elections"_, said by somebody who lives in a Republic but is convinced that it is a fascist police state. No need to guess what this person was referring to.

_"If you cut the line in a queue, you are in no position to criticize the president"_ - Uh, false equivalence much? I heard this one around the time our prez got impeached in 2016. Needless to say, they don't apply this logic to our current prez.


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## Twitter Hate Mob (Jan 18, 2021)

"I like [POLITICIAN]" - doesn't matter your views or your country unless they're Budd Dwyering themselves, they're shit. Uniformly.


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## ToroidalBoat (Jan 18, 2021)

"A 'pole shift' or 'Nibiru' will destroy the world on December 21, 2012 because an ancient Mayan calendar stops there!"


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## Dwight Frye (Jan 18, 2021)

Made the stupid comment that I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, and this girl I used to work with took it literally and genuinely thought that if I removed my glasses, I'd actually be blind and completely lose my vision. Actually got scared for my safety when I was walking around without them once and trying to guide me like she was my seeing eye dog. She was 24 at the time.


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## The Moment (Jan 18, 2021)

I asked if they knew their blood type and they answered with:

”Yeah, my blood type is Puerto Rican”

edit: 

When studying for geography with an older classmate: 

“No, you’re wrong. France is in Paris.”


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## The Last Stand (Jan 18, 2021)

Yuuichirou Kumada said:


> "Politics are like the turning of a screw: The right opresses, the left sets free."


In politics, YOU'RE the one getting screwed.


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## Nero You're DeadWeight (Jan 18, 2021)

Rusty Crab said:


> View attachment 1854037


Mind you this same guy, didn't know the difference between heat, density and temperature or some shit which lead to a whole argument about milk, and somehow I was a racist because I didn't want to date him (when he was way older than me). I have no idea how he passed servsafe, but he gave me all sorts of shit for being a know it all in the spring semester before covid hit. He didn't come back for summer or fall semester thank god.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Jan 18, 2021)

That Maus is antisemitic because the Jewish characters were depicted as mice and the Nazis were cats. I think I had a brain aneurysm while trying to explain to him why that was the most retarded thing I've ever heard a person say in my life.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 18, 2021)

"karma is scientifically proven"


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## Doctor Placebo (Jan 19, 2021)

"30,000 troops at the capitol is a perfectly reasonable reaction to a totally legitimate domestic terror threat."


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## Legoshi (Jan 20, 2021)

"Can babies be born out of a penis?"


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 20, 2021)

"There's nothing genetic about autism. It's a mutation."


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## Ash Gassem (Jan 20, 2021)

Furina said:


> "It's the not the hand sanitizer that kills the bacteria, it's actually the heat generated when you rub your hands together."


So that's why jews usually live to 100.


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## Tingle (Jan 20, 2021)

"Do you work here?" while in full uniform, standing behind a cash register.

Alternatively, "It is what it is." No shit.


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## The Littlest Shitlord (Jan 20, 2021)

Legoshi said:


> "Can babies be born out of a penis?"


How old were they? Cause it reminds me of this:


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## Legoshi (Jan 20, 2021)

The Littlest Shitlord said:


> How old were they? Cause it reminds me of this:
> View attachment 1861336


They were 17 years of age in a biology class.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 20, 2021)

Kamela is the first African-American VP.


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## Hollywood Hitler (Jan 20, 2021)

This past September I went to Six Flags, and I ran into someone I haven't seen in years and they asked me what I was doing there. 

"Uhhh... it's Six Flags."


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## The Last Stand (Jan 20, 2021)

I'm an Uncle Tom.


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## Doctor Placebo (Jan 20, 2021)

Tingle said:


> "Do you work here?" while in full uniform, standing behind a cash register.


Should've said no and waited for their reaction.


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## Botched Tit Job (Jan 21, 2021)

One time in high school a girl asked if you had to have an individual license for each state you drove in. Like, if you were on a road trip, you'd have to have a license for every single state you'd pass through on that journey.

I didn't really know how to respond.


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## JustFuckinaDude (Jan 21, 2021)

In college, someone told me “your white privilege is the only reason you’re here” -some psychology major in my required sociology class. (The GI Bill was the only reason I was there)


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Jan 21, 2021)

Sped Xing said:


> What kind of church plays national anthems?


One of the local churches has played the National Anthem for Memorial Day or Independence Day services as the closing song.



Tingle said:


> "Do you work here?" while in full uniform, standing behind a cash register.


After my first year of college, I spent that summer working at the same hardware store I did when I was in high school. The son of one of the co-owners comes up to me one day and goes, "(Kiwi Lime Pie), are you working here again?" while I'm busy putting merchandise on the shelves. I really wanted to tell him, "No, I was just bored and decided to come her and put stuff on the  shelves for the hell of it," but he was clueless enough that he'd probably believe me.
---
During another summer in between semesters, I worked as a dishwasher in a cafeteria. I had a 50-something year old grill chef bring a container of used, melted butter in to be dumped out and washed and for reasons unknown he told me, "I bet if you drank this, it would make your peepee stand straight out." I couldn't cringe enough in response  .


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 21, 2021)

Tingle said:


> "Do you work here?" while in full uniform, standing behind a cash register.


This would happen to me constantly at one of my old jobs, and I had not only a uniform shirt, but a nametag with the company's name and my title.

One of the horrible truths of retail is that people DO NOT READ, DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ANYTHING AND WANT TO BE SPOONFED EVEN THE MOST PLAINLY OBVIOUS INFORMATION.  And they'll still misinterpret it so frequently that it seems DELIBERATE.


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## Big Boss Nigger (Jan 21, 2021)

"Statues of confederate soldiers glorifies racism"


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## Doctor Placebo (Jan 21, 2021)

Botched Tit Job said:


> One time in high school a girl asked if you had to have an individual license for each state you drove in. Like, if you were on a road trip, you'd have to have a license for every single state you'd pass through on that journey.
> 
> I didn't really know how to respond.


I just remembered that one time in a junior high school science class while we were classifying things, a girl asked if a rock was living. Yes, really.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 21, 2021)

Tingle said:


> "Do you work here?" while in full uniform, standing behind a cash register.
> 
> Alternatively, "It is what it is." No shit.


"No, I stole this uniform from an employee and now robbing the place."

To be fair, I have mistaken customers for employees before because of their attire.


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jan 21, 2021)

Doctor Placebo said:


> Should've said no and waited for their reaction.





The Last Stand said:


> "No, I stole this uniform from an employee and now robbing the place."
> 
> To be fair, I have mistaken customers for employees before because of their attire.



I thought that was a George Carlin bit, something like "No, I stole a uniform, and hang around their locations all the time, because I'm lonely. You won't tell the orderlies I'm away from the hospital, right?"

OT: "It's *calls your boss* time *tells your bank about your wrongthink* to *stalks your social media* heal!" - the Left, apparently.

Also, that fucking clown on CNN gargling Biden's balls while mumbling something about "The rays of light, shining down like Biden's outstretched arms, welcome the nation in." Dude, if Biden is coming in for the hug, he's also coming in for the "Sniff", too.


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 21, 2021)

TerribleIdeas™ said:


> I thought that was a George Carlin bit, something like "No, I stole a uniform, and hang around their locations all the time, because I'm lonely. You won't tell the orderlies I'm away from the hospital, right?"
> 
> OT: "It's *calls your boss* time *tells your bank about your wrongthink* to *stalks your social media* heal!" - the Left, apparently.
> 
> Also, that fucking clown on CNN gargling Biden's balls while mumbling something about "The rays of light, shining down like Biden's outstretched arms, welcome the nation in." Dude, if Biden is coming in for the hug, he's also coming in for the "Sniff", too.


It's not Biden he's in love with, just saying - these people are in love with their own voices and the words they use, it's basically fucking masturbation for them


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jan 21, 2021)

Freebirth Toad said:


> It's not Biden he's in love with, just saying - these people are in love with their own voices and the words they use, it's basically fucking masturbation for them



If you stroke while thinking about Biden, or _any other politician, for that matter,_ you need to be culled. Immediately.


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## Doctor Placebo (Jan 21, 2021)

Freebirth Toad said:


> It's not Biden he's in love with, just saying - these people are in love with their own voices and the words they use, it's basically fucking masturbation for them


Themselves and that they "won." That's what they're really circle jerking themselves raw over. They're going to keep sucking Biden's withered dick no matter what, because he's the president they fought to get in office. A testament to their social power, while Trump represents an undermining and embarrassment of it, which is the real reason they hate _him_ so much. What Biden or his regime do in office matters not a single fuck. War with Iran? Syria? Massive outsourcing and the highest unemployment ever? Intensifying the mass incarceration of blacks? It'll all be acceptable, because he's their guy and they have to be right. They're creatures of pure, desperate, self-importance.

Journos are pathetic, but these sort of journos are the most pathetic of all. Cenk Uygur is more respectable. He's an idiot and a liar, but at least he makes an attempt to actually give a fuck about ideology and policies. These talking heads on the likes of CNN and MSNBC want literally nothing but asspats, hand jobs, and to be told they're so much smarter, more virtuous, and more special than the plebs while the country and the world burns.


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## polonium (Jan 21, 2021)

Someone at work today told me my photo "looked real"


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## sir Twenty Goodmen (Jan 21, 2021)

in 12 grade biology class: " if there is no bone in the penis, how can ti be so hard?" 
I am still stunned that he wasnt joking


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## Sped Xing (Jan 21, 2021)

sir Twenty Goodmen said:


> in 12 grade biology class: " if there is no bone in the penis, how can ti be so hard?"
> I am still stunned that he wasnt joking


Maybe he was a dog.  They have os penis.


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## mario if smoke weed (Jan 21, 2021)

Anything said in a women's studies class.


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## Doppio Vinegar (Jan 21, 2021)

"Did you draw that?" 

This was asked in real life, in an art classroom, with my sketchbook open, while I was currently drawing it, with no one around me.


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## Nero You're DeadWeight (Jan 21, 2021)

"If I don't hold down my boner while I pee, the pee will shoot at my face!"

High school was a  time.


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## The Last Stand (Jan 21, 2021)

JustFuckinaDude said:


> In college, someone told me “your white privilege is the only reason you’re here” -some psychology major in my required sociology class. (The GI Bill was the only reason I was there)


Says the gender studies major that is here through your parents' pocket and/or loans. 

BEHAVE YOURSELVES.


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## Clown Baby (Jan 21, 2021)

"All of Staten Island is a trash heap because it's built on top of landmines." 

While the beginning of the statement is correct, unfortunately she meant to say landfills.


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 21, 2021)

KaibaCorp ToeSucker said:


> "If I don't hold down my boner while I pee, the pee will shoot at my face!"
> 
> High school was a  time.


Bent duck lol


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 21, 2021)

"You're bi? Just think about your own boobs!"


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jan 21, 2021)




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## Wraith (Jan 21, 2021)

When I was in high school I broke out laughing when a dude who sat behind me in history class couldn't locate Germany on a map. I was astounded that something so simple escaped him. Just a small few years later and when I was working at a store a very humble young man from high school on a break asked me to look over his English homework from the same school system I had come from. He was almost graduated, but his written English was so poor it resembled every typo (or pyto if you prefer) I eke out in an entire year on this web site combined.
And he wasn't playing a joke.
Years later I look back at the stupidity, or plain ignorance and lack of education and now I know (((who))) runs the places.
Snowflakes sometimes melt and burn even before they touch my tongue with such anger I hold.
I feel genuinely bad now that I laughed at that first guy. Makes me sad.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (Jan 21, 2021)

A cousin asked me if I met any Yakuza at a Chinese buffet.


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## Sped Xing (Jan 21, 2021)

Agent Abe Caprine said:


> A cousin asked me if I met any Yakuza at a Chinese buffet.


Japs love Chinese buffets.  Why else go to Nanking?


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## Molester Stallone (Jan 21, 2021)

Just last week I had a woman compliment me on my hands. I thought that was kind of odd as I have typical man hands that have their fare share of scars and whatnot.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 23, 2021)

"Agnostics don't exist"


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## Hollywood Hitler (Jan 23, 2021)

In 11th grade a girl asked me why they called it a "blowjob" when you suck on it.

Actually, that's a pretty good question...


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## Mr. Pestilence (Jan 23, 2021)

"Trump is gonna win the 2020 election!"


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## Hollywood Hitler (Jan 23, 2021)

Mr. Pestilence said:


> "Trump is gonna win the 2020 election!"


There was a 50/50 shot of him winning. the Democrats couldn't take that risk, so they cheated.


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## Blasterisk (Jan 23, 2021)

From The Uncanny Valley said:


> "Agnostics don't exist"


To be fair, I'm not sure that agnostics exist either. Could go either way on that, really.


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## Sped Xing (Jan 23, 2021)

Is there really an agnostic?  How could we be sure?  Does it matter?


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Jan 23, 2021)

SojuDrnkr said:


> In 11th grade a girl asked me why they called it a "blowjob" when you suck on it.
> 
> Actually, that's a pretty good question...


One of my friends explained that the term was originally "below job"  as in below-the-belt, and over time the pronunciation drifted. (I have no idea if this is true but it sounds very likely.)


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## cybertoaster (Jan 23, 2021)

"Men are privileged"

Bitch _I wish_


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## The Littlest Shitlord (Jan 23, 2021)

SojuDrnkr said:


> In 11th grade a girl asked me why they called it a "blowjob" when you suck on it.
> 
> Actually, that's a pretty good question...


This reminds me of a music video segment in an episode of Beavis and Butthead. The song has some guy asking a question, and following up with "Funk dat!" Beavis then imitates him: "Why do they call it _taking_ a dump instead of _leaving_ a dump? You're not actually taking it anywhere. Funk dat!"


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## RMQualtrough (Jan 23, 2021)

Dude we live on a planet where there are people who believe in the "dimensional merge". I literally can't think of the worst in my 28 years lol.

Almost every day there's someone who's just straight up idiotic.


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## Jet Fuel Johnny (Jan 23, 2021)

"Electricity isn't dangerous. That's just movies."

20 seconds before they grabbed a 220V line.

All I could do was stare.


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jan 23, 2021)

Jet Fuel Johnny said:


> "Electricity isn't dangerous. That's just movies."
> 
> 20 seconds before they grabbed a 220V line.
> 
> All I could do was stare.



"The kid who gets the most marbles up his nose, doesn't survive to have kids that shove marbles up their nose." - Albert Roosevelt Gandhi, or something.


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## Doctor Placebo (Jan 24, 2021)

Blasterisk said:


> To be fair, I'm not sure that agnostics exist either. Could go either way on that, really.


I mean, nobody can prove agnostics _don't_ exist.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Jan 24, 2021)

cybertoaster said:


> "Men are privileged"
> 
> Bitch _I wish_


I can see how some would see that. After talking to women who work or worked at all female workplaces it sounded like hell on earth but the second the average man entered that workplace the catty bitches got a lot nicer. Much more so if he was attractive. Until he left. I can see that being perceived as male privilege. On the other end of things, when a woman enters an all male workplace things change as well, even if she's just passing through. The difference is, as far as I can tell, that women see it as men getting a better experience at work, being pampered like a princess by the mean girls, while men generally don't want to offend the accountant if she's down on the floor so they only use light slurs.

Summa summarum: women are horny, men gets blamed.


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## TFT-A9 (Jan 24, 2021)

Jet Fuel Johnny said:


> "Electricity isn't dangerous. That's just movies."
> 
> 20 seconds before they grabbed a 220V line.
> 
> All I could do was stare.


Some problems solve themselves really


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## Samson Pumpkin Jr. (Jan 24, 2021)

"Conrad von Hotzendorf was a bad general."
lol, retards


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## Curt Sibling (Jan 24, 2021)

"There are more than two genders" - Some lady working in Subway.

Just make my sammich and stop speaking garbage, plz.


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## Revo (Jan 25, 2021)

" It depends on the child "


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## McMitch4kf (Jan 26, 2021)

Smaug's Smokey Hole said:


> I can see how some would see that. After talking to women who work or worked at all female workplaces it sounded like hell on earth but the second the average man entered that workplace the catty bitches got a lot nicer. Much more so if he was attractive. Until he left. I can see that being perceived as male privilege. On the other end of things, when a woman enters an all male workplace things change as well, even if she's just passing through. The difference is, as far as I can tell, that women see it as men getting a better experience at work, being pampered like a princess by the mean girls, while men generally don't want to offend the accountant if she's down on the floor so they only use light slurs.
> 
> Summa summarum: women are horny, men gets blamed.


I’ve worked a lot of food jobs. Typical lunch shifts are dominated by women because childcare and whatnot. Occasionally, there will be a lunch shift that ends up a majority men with one woman. That lone woman will, invariably regardless on who it actually is, comments on how much more got done during that shift.


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## serious n00b (Apr 9, 2021)

Tingle said:


> Alternatively, "It is what it is." No shit.


"YELLOW IS YELLOW!!! EHEHEHEHEHE"


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Apr 9, 2021)

It was 2013 and I was reading the news about the 2013 Moore tornado that hit the Oklahoma City metro and killed 24 people.  A classmate/coworker said out loud without any humor in his voice:

"I feel more sorry for the trees."

He was a graduate student in a STEM field from India (Pajeets not valuing human life?  General classism/misanthropy?  You're guess is as good as mine).  Me and another coworker (who was from that part of the country) just stared at each other with "WTF?!" expressions and went silently back to work.


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## Sped Xing (Apr 9, 2021)

naaaaiiiiillllll!!! said:


> It was 2013 and I was reading the news about the 2013 Moore tornado that hit the Oklahoma City metro and killed 24 people.  A classmate/coworker said out loud without any humor in his voice:
> 
> "I feel more sorry for the trees."
> 
> He was a graduate student in a STEM field from India (Pajeets not valuing human life?  General classism/misanthropy?  You're guess is as good as mine).  Me and another coworker (who was from that part of the country) just stared at each other with "WTF?!" expressions and went silently back to work.


Oklahomans are not human, but I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Apr 9, 2021)

Sped Xing said:


> Oklahomans are not human, but I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.


Lol, the guy who was just as shocked as me was a Texan.  Also many years ago I interviewed for something in OKC -- Oklahomans don't like Texans either.  I guess it's a kind of "my prairie ranch is better than your nearly identical prairie ranch" thing.  People from the middle of the country are funny.


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## Sped Xing (Apr 9, 2021)

naaaaiiiiillllll!!! said:


> Lol, the guy who was just as shocked as me was a Texan.  Also many years ago I interviewed for something in OKC -- Oklahomans don't like Texans either.  I guess it's a kind of "my prairie ranch is better than your nearly identical prairie ranch" thing.  People from the middle of the country are funny.


Oklahomans used jewish tricks and the federal government to steal legally Indian land.  Texans bought their land from Spain and Mexico, then took it from the Indians by killing the Indians.  The Comanche had conquered most of Texas about 150 years earlier, so that's fair.   I think that's where the antipathy comes from?

I've never known anyone to particularly dislike New Mexicans, Louisianans, or Arkansas-anians.  All three of those states are wastelands, but it's Oklahoma gets all the hate.  I dunno man.


Incidentally, if not for term limits, Sam Houston would have never lost to Mirabeau Douchebag Lamar. meaning no needless war with the Cherokee who were settling in East Texas, which might have preserved the Republic, which would now be sandwiched between big chungus Mexico and a much smaller, much more libtarded USA.  Hm.


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Apr 9, 2021)

Sped Xing said:


> Oklahomans used jewish tricks and the federal government to steal legally Indian land.  Texans bought their land from Spain and Mexico, then took it from the Indians by killing the Indians.  The Comanche had conquered most of Texas about 150 years earlier, so that's fair.   I think that's where the antipathy comes from?
> 
> I've never known anyone to particularly dislike New Mexicans, Louisianans, or Arkansas-anians.  All three of those states are wastelands, but it's Oklahoma gets all the hate.  I dunno man.


It always seems like people feel sorry for NM, LA, and AR and always bring up their positives in polite conversation (NM has unique natural beauty and native culture, LA has the whole unique Southern Antebellum French/Cajun/Creole thing, and AR has rice and Walmart).


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Apr 9, 2021)

"The show PB&J Otter taught me how to blink."


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## Cantercoin (Apr 9, 2021)

I remember someone in middle school telling me you can get a girl pregnant by peeing in her. How they thought that I'll never know.


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## ClownBrew (Apr 9, 2021)

The Littlest Shitlord said:


> "Yeah brandy has a high alcohol content, this brandy here is 240 proof."



I wish


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## Sped Xing (Apr 9, 2021)

From The Uncanny Valley said:


> "The show PB&J Otter taught me how to blink."


I want to know more.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Apr 9, 2021)

Sped Xing said:


> I want to know more.


Trust me, you really don't...


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## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Apr 9, 2021)

From The Uncanny Valley said:


> Trust me, you really don't...


I imagine this person learned to tie their shoes from Spongebob Squarepants and how to eat from Sesame Street?


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## Sped Xing (Apr 9, 2021)

From The Uncanny Valley said:


> Trust me, you really don't...


No, I really must pry.  I must, I must.


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Apr 10, 2021)

One from each side of the aisle, this morning.


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## Fools Idol (Apr 10, 2021)

"Do I look stupid to you?"


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## Tragi-Chan (Apr 10, 2021)

“Who does she think she is? She’s not a princess, just because she married a prince!”
- A colleague on Megan Markle.


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## big potato (Apr 10, 2021)

I can think of two occurrences.

One in high school where a group of girls from the year below me debated the sex of the plastic human skeleton in the biology department, with half of them adamant that it had to be a female skeleton because it didn't have a penis bone.

Also one time I was carrying one of my guinea pigs outside and a neighbor's son said with complete sincerity "that's the biggest hamster I've _ever_ seen".


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## The Littlest Shitlord (Apr 11, 2021)

Tragi-Chan said:


> “Who does she think she is? She’s not a princess, just because she married a prince!”
> - A colleague on Megan Markle.


Technically, she isn't though, she's just a Duchess, (also a Countess and a Baroness). In the UK, you don't automatically get the opposite-gendered title of your spouse just by marrying into royalty, which is why the late husband of the Queen wasn't King, he was a prince consort (plus many other titles, but King was never one of them).



big potato said:


> I can think of two occurrences.
> 
> One in high school where a group of girls from the year below me debated the sex of the plastic human skeleton in the biology department, with half of them adamant that it had to be a female skeleton because it didn't have a penis bone.
> 
> Also one time I was carrying one of my guinea pigs outside and a neighbor's son said with complete sincerity "that's the biggest hamster I've _ever_ seen".


When I was in elementary school, our science classroom had a plastic anatomical model of a human torso, with visible internal organs. One day, our cranky old fart of a science teacher started out class by asking us "How many of you think this is male? Raise your hands" and then "How many of you think this is female? Raise your hands". The class was fairly evenly split, so what does he do? "It's neither! It's an inanimate object!", he snaps at us. Well thank you Captain Obvious.


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## serious n00b (Apr 11, 2021)

The Littlest Shitlord said:


> When I was in elementary school, our science classroom had a plastic anatomical model of a human torso, with visible internal organs. One day, our cranky old fart of a science teacher started out class by asking us "How many of you think this is male? Raise your hands" and then "How many of you think this is female? Raise your hands". The class was fairly evenly split, so what does he do? "It's neither! It's an inanimate object!"


Fucking kek


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## Cool Dog (Apr 11, 2021)

Professional Lurker said:


> "Antifa's not a group, it's an idea." - my 14 year old sister.


Is this why muslims do corrective rape?


Discourteous Discourse said:


> A few hours ago a relative informed me that the church she delivered food to, "performed a black national anthem before the national anthem."


She still giving them free shit?


Yuuichirou Kumada said:


> _"Communism works, it just has never been tried before."_ - Okay, let's try again, see how many die this time and how many times the perp refers to their model as communist.


The early soviet union was 100% communist, but as it turns out basing your entire country over the rants of lifelong NEET who never hold office or even a regular job is not the best idea. Among many things, paying an engineer the same as you pay a street sweeper results in the engineer to rather sweep the street than wreck his brains inventing new shit, and only then the commies realized the engineer was being paid more because his job was more vital than the street sweeper's. Also owning the factories meant nothing when all the people who knew how to do shit left the country or got executed for being bougies. 

At the end the ussr only avoided total failure and collapse by adopting an economic system that was closer to nazi germany's tho still communist, but commie apologists call that "state capitalism" to cover their asses since admiting communist didnt work but semi-fascism did would destroy whats left of their already prolapsed assholes


Yuuichirou Kumada said:


> _"It is perfectly reasonable to look at historic events through modern sensitivies, and judge them accordingly this way."_ - May not be stupid per se, just short-sighted and ignorant of shifting contexts.


It is incredibly stupid and I can only wish the people who say that get to live long enough to experience people of the future shitting on them and their beliefs


Yuuichirou Kumada said:


> _Stay at home. We'll take care of the economy later."_ - Said by local governments here in Brazil. Well, the economy went to shit and people are dying by the hundreds anyway.


Make it 10x worse and you get Argentina

F for this fucking country


Autumnal Equinox said:


> Made the stupid comment that I'm blind as a bat without my glasses, and this girl I used to work with took it literally and genuinely thought that if I removed my glasses, I'd actually be blind and completely lose my vision. Actually got scared for my safety when I was walking around without them once and trying to guide me like she was my seeing eye dog. She was 24 at the time.


Thats porn script dumb, could've convinced her to cure your blindness with a BJ


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## Discourteous Discourse (Apr 12, 2021)

Cool Dog said:


> She still giving them free shit?


Thankfully no, but she's still unforgivably retarded. In the past year she has declared:
"Red wine doesn't make me drunk!"
"Rodan & Fields isn't a MLM!" (yes it is)
"Pampered Chef isn't a MLM!" (yes it is)
"Scentsy isn't a MLM!" (it's one of the worst)
"_I'm_ helping raise minimum wage!"
"TRUMP IS THE REASON BLACK PEOPLE ARE POOR!"


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## Annie Adderall (Apr 12, 2021)

“A Tesla is a smart investment.”


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## Legoshi (Jun 5, 2021)

"Black" is racist


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## A Grey Cat (Jun 6, 2021)

"Stop watching those damn horror movies and study!"

My parents


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## Adolphin (Jun 6, 2021)

"We should colonise Mars!"


----------



## anti SJW (Jun 6, 2021)

I work at a transfer station, these are from customers. 

"You want this metal in the metal pile?"

"I know the sign says check or cash only,  but do you take Visa?"


----------



## Iron Jaguar (Jun 6, 2021)

*Croatian guy I know, seeing deer run across the road in front of the car at night*
"Look at the size of those dogs!!!"


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## TerribleIdeas™ (Jun 6, 2021)

Iron Jaguar said:


> *Croatian guy I know, seeing deer run across the road in front of the car at night*
> "Look at the size of those dogs!!!"


To be fair, I'm pretty sure that Eastern Europe is all retarded.


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## Cool Dog (Jun 6, 2021)

Annie Adderall said:


> “A Tesla is a smart investment.”


Is the resale value that bad? Idk those cars arent available in my country


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## Annie Adderall (Jun 6, 2021)

Cool Dog said:


> Is the resale value that bad? Idk those cars arent available in my country


The five-year resale value is approximately 50% of the original price. Luxury cars usually have horrible resale values. Some are worse. Land Rover is around 40% of the original value. I just come across a lot of stupid and uneducated Tesla/Elon cocksuckers, and they tend to be more vocal about their desire to suck some Elon dick than Porsche cultists who admit it's an expensive hobby that serves no financial purpose.

Probably an even stupider statement that I've heard a few times:
"Tesla stock is a smart investment. Elon is such a good businessman!"

Further reasons why Tesla/Elon cocksuckers are stupid:

Tesla stock is hugely overvalued. Hugely. It's concerning and not sustainable. Anyone who buys it is doing the stock equivalent of playing with someone else's shit they paid 600 USD a piece for. The beta for Tesla is currently 1.98. Anything over 1 is volatile and fluctuating faster than market standards. It WILL crash.
The company is hemorrhaging cash, and the shareholder reports are pure carnage.
Tesla is just a hobby for Elon. It's not a viable business venture. He's a business bygone who peaked during his Paypal era.
Elon is ridiculous and unprofessional. It's not cute. For example, he renamed the traditional title of Chief Financial Officer [CFO] "Master of the Coin" or something autistic.
If you live in a cold and/or snowy climate, you're fucked with your Tesla.


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## Cool Dog (Jun 6, 2021)

Annie Adderall said:


> The five-year resale value is approximately 50% of the original price. Luxury cars usually have horrible resale values. Some are worse. Land Rover is around 40% of the original value. I just come across a lot of stupid and uneducated Tesla/Elon cocksuckers, and they tend to be more vocal about their desire to suck some Elon dick than Porsche cultists who admit it's an expensive hobby that serves no financial purpose.
> 
> Probably an even stupider statement that I've heard a few times:
> "Tesla stock is a smart investment. Elon is such a good businessman!"
> ...


I know luxury cars depreciate, tho I seen porsches that were like 60k new and 5 years later they are still 40k and not with low mileage (for a porsche)

I guess teslas get that depreciation because the battery isnt that great, the S is like 10 years old now right? how do the batteries hold so far? how much range you get after a decade? I take the cost of new batts must be higher than the used price of the car?

As for tesla stock I still kick myself for not buying at $40, I remember people saying it was overvalued at that price


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## Billy Beer (Jun 6, 2021)

You lot must have grown up in some really smart areas. I hear dumber shit than this almost every day, and it's just standard. Though sometimes it is stupid on purpose...


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## Iron Jaguar (Jun 6, 2021)

TerribleIdeas™ said:


> To be fair, I'm pretty sure that Eastern Europe is all retarded.


I cannot disagree.


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## VIPPER? (Jun 6, 2021)

"You're loved"


----------



## Anus Lemonade (Jun 6, 2021)

"Black Panther is the movie of the decade!"


----------



## X Pac Heat (Jun 6, 2021)

"We will never know the *real* truth behind Covid so we should just trust what they tell us."


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## Diet coke made me black (Jun 8, 2021)

"you can be anything you want to be"
"Your shouldn't date black women because it's racist" (was actual thing said to me by blm supporting co worker)
"Why do you need a truck, don't you know it's bad for environment"
These are just few of dumb things I heard recently.


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## TheRedChair (Jun 8, 2021)

From Generation FAIL...
_What's a  HEPA Filter?_


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## Iron Jaguar (Jun 8, 2021)

*Me, at deli counter*
_"Are those buffalo wings?"_
Teenaged girl employee *checks*
_"No, they're chicken!"_


----------



## Cod of War (Jun 9, 2021)

From a family member, "If it doesn't have lyrics, it's not music."


----------



## Meat Target (Jun 9, 2021)

"My [bank account] balance is negative? But I should be allowed make a withdrawal, since I have overdraft protection."


----------



## PFM (Jun 9, 2021)

"How do I rewind the DVD?" Granted this was a couple decades ago.... still makes me laugh.


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## Jeff Boomhauer (Jun 9, 2021)

"Where's Europe? Can we drive there?"
- Said by one of my classmates during my junior year of high school.


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## Radola Gajda (Jun 9, 2021)

Can atoms sexualy reproduce?


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## Mulva69 (Jun 9, 2021)

"Listen to the woman with pink hair, because she went to college!"

This was just four days ago.


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## Sped Xing (Jun 9, 2021)

Radola Gajda said:


> Can atoms sexualy reproduce?


Hydrogen ions are the ultimate incels.


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## KooksandFreaks (Jun 9, 2021)

One time, I was buying a bespoke item in a fancy store in a major U.S. city. Said I wanted it shipped to New Mexico. The clerk, in a snotty and superior voice,  goes, "We don't ship outside the United States." Even the other workers hovering around looked at her like she was retarded.


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## Cyclonus (Jun 9, 2021)

One of my mothers gossipy middle aged womens mags has a column called "Aren't men daft?" Some stupid cow sent in a letter laughing at her boyfriend because he thought it was summer in Australia when it was winter here. Aren't women daft?


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## SITHRAK! (Jun 9, 2021)

I have a niece by marriage that thought white hens laid eggs and brown hens laid potatoes. She was 17 at the time.


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## From The Uncanny Valley (Jun 9, 2021)

"Did you know they killed a live bunny on Pee Wee's Playhouse?"


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## Sped Xing (Jun 10, 2021)

SITHRAK! said:


> I have a niece by marriage that thought white hens laid eggs and brown hens laid potatoes. She was 17 at the time.


That went from cute to upsetting on the last sentence.


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## Bingeamint (Jun 10, 2021)

"What do you mean I have to charge my wireless mouse for it to work? Isn't that what makes it wireless"


----------



## Niggernerd (Jun 10, 2021)

"Illegals are people too"

"There's nothing wrong with trans rights"


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## HIVidaBoheme (Jun 12, 2021)

Whatever @Richter Blobmondo has ever had to say since their join date


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## Big Boss Nigger (Dec 10, 2021)

"There's only two sexes but multiple genders."


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## The Lawgiver (Dec 11, 2021)

I brought this up in another thread around the time it happend I think but like about a few months ago  A guy I've known for a while suddenly stopped everything to non-jokingly claim I was transphobic and claim I just didn't know I was yet. I have never once shown fear of trannies and the only distain I've shown towards them in any capacity is towards the ones that are fucking insufferable douchebags just like I do with anyone who's an insufferable douchebag and twitter/discord groomers. I don't think I specified what was going on in that conversation but it was me jokingly saying "the groomer lorezone" ior some shit like that when he was talking about gendershit and how he wasnt trans and knew it because of this guide on "transgender symptoms" not matching up. I still stand by what I told him about the gendershit which is "gendershit doesnt matter and the reason you even had second thoughts about your gender out of fucking nowhere probably has to do with the fucking recent endless droning of TRANS RIGHTS LIKE THING FEEL SAD AND BAD MAY BE DTRANNNZZ!!!" shit the medias doing.  I've known legit transpeople before the trannyshit kicked off and one or 2 actually bearable ones not in the dogma shit that are normal ass people troonshit aside you wouldnt even know they're fucking trans online because they don't project it with the dumbass flags and shit yet this fucking guy who's known me for a good while and should know by now I show no fucking hostility towards anyone unless I've been hit with hostility to begin with fucking whipped out the transphobia accusations over me trying to lighten the fucking mood when he was overthinking shit lmao. We're still chill but thats gonna stick with me for a while, hoping he doesn't end up sucked into politics team mindset hell.


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Dec 11, 2021)

“Saying cuck even jokingly is an alt right dog whistle because cuckoldry is a predominantly alt right phenomenon.” 

I was just floored by this because as far as I’m aware it’s literally the opposite of the truth.


----------



## The Lawgiver (Dec 11, 2021)

DDBCAE CBAADCBE said:


> “Saying cuck even jokingly is an alt right dog whistle because cuckoldry is a predominantly alt right phenomenon.”
> 
> I was just floored by this because as far as I’m aware it’s literally the opposite of the truth.


Sounds like they watched the movie "cuck" and took it as their new NPC programming for politics opinions lmao.


----------



## TapewormSalesman (Dec 11, 2021)

For two hours I tried to explain to a former internet friend of mine that bulls ARE in fact male cows. She absolutely refused to believe it, even whgen presented with pictures and a wikipedia article. Funniest part is that her boyfriend was a farmer.


----------



## The Lawgiver (Dec 11, 2021)

TapewormSalesman said:


> For two hours I tried to explain to a former internet friend of mine that bulls ARE in fact male cows. She absolutely refused to believe it, even whgen presented with pictures and a wikipedia article. Funniest part is that her boyfriend was a farmer.


maybe she shaped her worldview on cartoons, where bulls and cows are treated less like the men and women and more like different sub-species of an animal? Otis barnyard is a significant example of this if only for how much he shows up in shitposts.


----------



## TapewormSalesman (Dec 11, 2021)

The Lawgiver said:


> maybe she shaped her worldview on cartoons, where bulls and cows are treated less like the men and women and more like different sub-species of an animal? Otis barnyard is a significant example of this if only for how much he shows up in shitposts.


I think it was probably the case, because according to her "bulls are ugly and cows are cute" so there's no way they're the same species. 


Spoiler: Barnyard PL



Barnyard really fucked me up as a child, I was initially so happy that there's a cartoon about cows and then they went and made them all wrong and uncanny


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Dec 11, 2021)

"[The woke] are more [college] educated."

- overheard on the day of the 2020 election


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