# Can Long Distance Relationships Work?



## Dick In a Drawer (Feb 24, 2018)

i'm not talking about relationships where they're already dating but decide to continue dating when they go to different colleges but relationships where the people meet over the internet and decide to date each other. i've known many people who've done ldrs and literally none of them worked out. i believe ldrs can't work because it's close to impossible to get to know someone enough to love them without meeting them, you have to trust them not to cuck you, and there's always going a perception of each other that isn't how they actually are in real life. the worst seem to be when the people actually do meet up in person as i assume each other's exceptions of seeing them in person aren't as amazing as they thought it would be.


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## WW 635 (Feb 24, 2018)

There are at least 4 instances of kiwi couples where this did work out and they are now married


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## Rumpled Foreskin (Feb 24, 2018)

Relationships are gay. Feelings are gay. Y’all are being gay.


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## Tootsie Bear (Feb 24, 2018)

When I was in my teens and Myspace was all the rage, I met a number of girls who after awhile we agreed to go out even though all of our communication was either online or through phone conversation. 

To make a long story short, while I did have fun and end up meeting some of them in person, for me it could only last so long because we never truly knew each other on a personal level and it got old quick; which led to us breaking up. 

If you can meet someone online and they're awesome and it works... Great! All types of relationships are challenging but I think if you're dating someone it helps if you two are able to socialize in person so you two are able to get know each more personally and have more fun together. Over time it's tiring because you can only do so much communicating with a significant other only by phone or email.


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## The Fifth Waltz (Feb 24, 2018)

My irl friend met a guy on Omegle from the opposite side of Canada. They knew each other for like 2 years, she moved there, took him back with her and right now they're living happy together.

As for myself the farthest distance I've dated someone is an hour away. Those didn't work out for reasons I obviously do not want to share.


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## JB 236 (Feb 24, 2018)

I have experienced one long distance relationship due to her moving away. And it was fucking boring to say the least and I quickly ended it.

I think that Long distance can work if you are in a solid relationship on some solid ground. However to keep things alive you would need to have somewhat frequent interaction otherwise you will just get bored and find something closer and it should be relatively straightforward and easy to commute to the other person if needed. 

I'm also under the opinion that meeting someone online and forming an emotional bond is pretty fucking stupid as it could be a long time before you could potentially meet them and when you do, you might be very surprised at what you find out. Keep it face to face when meeting women and men. Dating apps are fucking shit too.


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## Rabbit without a hat (Feb 24, 2018)

It really depends on the people involved. I had a long distance relationship myself a few years back and I could handle it but she couldn't. We met online and she broke it off a few months. I'm not saying I wouldn't try it again, but I'd much prefer to have a "close distance, relationship as it were.


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## notausername (Feb 24, 2018)

99% of the time no. The majority end. Both couples end up cheating on each other, talking less and in the end just move on with their lives. There are a few that work out but those are far and few between and are the exceptions, not the rule.


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## gumboman (Feb 24, 2018)

Dick In a Drawer said:


> i'm not talking about relationships where they're already dating but decide to continue dating when they go to different colleges but relationships where the people meet over the internet and decide to date each other. i've known many people who've done ldrs and literally none of them worked out. i believe ldrs can't work because it's close to impossible to get to know someone enough to love them without meeting them, you have to trust them not to cuck you, and there's always going a perception of each other that isn't how they actually are in real life. the worst seem to be when the people actually do meet up in person as i assume each other's exceptions of seeing them in person aren't as amazing as they thought it would be.


 literally sleeping in different beds cause sore relationships in couples forget different cities or states


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## Done (Feb 24, 2018)

Cricket said:


> There are at least 4 instances of kiwi couples where this did work out and they are now married


And now we know where the Four Horsemen of Autism will come from..


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## RG 448 (Feb 24, 2018)

It takes more work and patience to do it, but yes it’s doable.


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## GS 281 (Feb 24, 2018)

Yes


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## Rogowski (Feb 24, 2018)

Friend of mine made it work with the girl he met online. The key to their success was that up until the day they actually met each other they were never actually in a relationship together officially. They talked on the phone every day, they texted all day usually, and they would Skype with each other when they could, but when it came to their actual relationship status they technically weren't in a relationship and therefore there was no relationship to stress. The way he put it is she was living on the other side of the country and there was no way he could honestly expect her to be 100% faithful to him when they hadn't even met so they weren't. They just showed each other how much they cared about each other on a daily basis and anything further than that they had a don't ask don't tell policy.


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## AJ 447 (Feb 24, 2018)

@yawning sneasel and @Feline Darkmage prove that they can


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## DietCherry (Feb 24, 2018)

Just like any other relationship, it depends on the people. I was able to make a LDR work. But I also know many people who tried and just couldn’t. I find that a normal relationship that becomes long distance because of college or a new job or something else like that, usually fails unless it’s a seriously serious relationship because those people are used to physical contact and don’t know how to deal with anything else. If it starts long distance, and eventually the two get together and are able to hit it off in person too, and once you get past the very first in person meeting, if there is then a second meeting, and third, you’re going to be fine. The first meeting makes or breaks you, because physical intimacy and mutual attraction is important and sometimes someone just doesn’t click with you in that way and once you discover that a long distance friendship is the best you can hope for. But on the occasion that it does work, and the meeting goes well, I think in many ways LDRs can be much stronger than other relationships.


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## skiddlez (Feb 24, 2018)

Considering the fact that most "no distance" relationships don't work, I'm just going to go out a limb and say long distance relationships are probably no better, and possibly even worse.

Good luck to anyone and everyone doing this shit.


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## Bassomatic (Feb 24, 2018)

In history they were a lot more common, with travel being so slow and people drafted into careers and military. But now it's a lot easier, when Rome drug you to war for a decade you just made due. Now we have skype so you and I can talk seeing a live moving face in different time zones.

It depends on the people really, and culture as well as population reduce the desire to do it. Not sure it's a good or bad thing that it's less common but it is.

If people want to do it, more power to them. I don't think it's unhealthy unless you allow it to be or you push yourself in one when you don't have the personality to do it.


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## Mulberry Tree (Feb 24, 2018)

it works for lonely and desperate people until they're tipped off that they may have a chance to score with someone in real life and then they attempt to cheat on their long distance SO. Then because :autism: they completely misread the actions of the irl potential sweetheart and it ends up they are not interested in them at all, so then they end up alone with neither irl sweetheart or online sweetheart


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## Y2K Baby (Feb 24, 2018)

Science proves otherwise. Physical contact makes you produce exclusive love horomones and shit- it's fundamental to any romantic relationship.


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## jewelry investor (Feb 24, 2018)

Y2K Baby said:


> Science proves otherwise. Physical contact makes you produce exclusive love horomones and shit- it's fundamental to any romantic relationship.


pair bonding is a bitch :powerlevel:


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## Red Hood (Feb 24, 2018)

I've tried. I can't do it.


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## Philosophy Zombie (Feb 24, 2018)

Long-distance relationships can work if the man in the relationship is uncircumcised because the man can gradually stretch his foreskin more and more until it covers the distance of up to hundreds of miles between him and his partner so the partner can sexually interact with it.

I have heard in rare cases the clitoral hood may be able to stretch that far, but generally it cannot, so as a rule lesbian long distance relationships do not work, and I would caution against trying unless one is African because the clitoris may fall off.


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## Internet_Loner (Feb 25, 2018)

Yes, been in one for nearly three years. Just keep contact steady and tabs on their online profiles.


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## Sissy (Feb 25, 2018)

If your end goal is ending up getting bloodied and bashed, and possibly homeless, then yeah they can work that way.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Feb 26, 2018)

Short answer: No.

Long Answer: Yes, if you have money for travel, and the distance is temporary, as in, a date on a calendar. That and you should probably worry a lot that this person is likely out fucking other people, doubly so if they're female.


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## AnOminous (Feb 26, 2018)

There are a lot of issues in this and, just to go into them a bit [10,000 words deleted] short answer no.


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## Wraith (Feb 26, 2018)

My guess is it depends on the character of the two people. Can their declared "lurv" translate into loyalty and not screwing around on each other when they are apart? 
The reason why I figure this is military wives. I cannot tell you how many stories I have heard of guys out on the battlefield, and many Amerifat wives and girlfriends being absolute scum and committing adultery. In times past that behavior was condemned, so it did happen, just not as much. So it's probably all character-based. 
However it can't stay long distance forever. You don't want to be on your death bed at age eighty and your forty year relationship with HotSexyMomma2018 is a thousand miles away having stayed chaste as she cares for her eighty cats and one parakeet named Lucifer.


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## Daughter of Cernunnos (Feb 26, 2018)

Yes, they work best for neurodivergent people.


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## Medici (Mar 1, 2018)

Yeah, if you both are willing to wait and are close enough y'all should be fine really. I've seen it work, it's definitely not impossible.


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## Nazi vegeta (Mar 1, 2018)

it can work but it takes committment and honesty.
so it's very hard, especially for women who change their mind, 10 times a day. 

and there's also the fact that one of the 2 can just disappear, without having to explain anything to the other and all you can do is take the L and move on.


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## Internet_Loner (Mar 1, 2018)

You seem to have issues with women...


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## Nazi vegeta (Mar 1, 2018)

Internet_Loner said:


> You seem to have issues with women...



who me?
No, I have issues with people who tell you one thing and then act in the complete opposite way.
especially if they are older than me and are supposed to be more ''mature'' mentally.
online you really cant read bodylanguage and other things, so if a person tells you something, all you can do is trust him/her and hope for the best, especially if he/she lives far from you.


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## Bassomatic (Mar 1, 2018)

Nazi vegeta said:


> who me?
> No, I have issues with people who tell you one thing and then act in the complete opposite way.


That is called women.


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## Nazi vegeta (Mar 1, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> That is called women.



lol, true.
that's why online relationships cant work, in my opinion.

plenty of people to meet irl, no need to complicate your life even more.


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## Christopher Robin (Mar 1, 2018)

To consider yourself “dating” someone that you’ve only ever met on the Red Sox wiki discord or whatever is pretty silly to me. I don’t care if you mutually masturbate every night and talk for 4 hours a day. It’s fine to meet people that way but to keep it going for months on end without ever meeting in person, and then to consider yourself as in a long distance relationship is :autism:. 

Maybe if you met up for a long weekend once and then went back to your respective homes I’d be more inclined to call it an actual relationship. But until then, you are just two people texting in my eyes. They have the potential to eventualy go out, but until they meet irl, it is not a thing and you cannot consider them your boyfriend/girlfriend.


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## Inquisitor_BadAss (Mar 6, 2018)

I met Mrs BadAss in London on a trip with mutual friends, we hit it off and kept in contact. We lived on opposite sides of the country and it wasn’t until a couple weeks after the trip and constant flirting via text she asked if I was single. 

We met up again that Christmas and after two years of a LDR she came up to live with me while she was at university. We’ve been together eight years at this point and living together for six of those. The journey was long but the head I get was worth it.


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## Sloan Ward (Mar 6, 2018)

The Shadow said:


> I've tried. I can't do it.


Try _harder_.



Internet_Loner said:


> You seem to have issues with women...


Who _doesn't_? Even _women _can't stand women.


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## aqua sama (Mar 6, 2018)

Sloan Ward said:


> Who _doesn't_? Even _women _can't stand women.



most vicious fights I've ever seen, were between women. anectodal I know, but I think there's truth to it.


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## Sloan Ward (Mar 7, 2018)

aqua sama said:


> most vicious fights I've ever seen, were between women. anectodal I know, but I think there's truth to it.



Yea, that doesn't surprise me. Neuroticism's a bitch.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3149680/


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## Cato (Mar 7, 2018)

I think that in general it's possible for long distance relationships to work, but how the hell do people form meaningful romantic relationships on kiwi farms, where it's constantly emphasized not to divulge any personal information?

If any purportedly female member here expressed any interest in me, I'd assume I was being catfished.


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## gumboman (Mar 7, 2018)

DietCherry said:


> Just like any other relationship, it depends on the people. I was able to make a LDR work. But I also know many people who tried and just couldn’t. I find that a normal relationship that becomes long distance because of college or a new job or something else like that, usually fails unless it’s a seriously serious relationship because those people are used to physical contact and don’t know how to deal with anything else. If it starts long distance, and eventually the two get together and are able to hit it off in person too, and once you get past the very first in person meeting, if there is then a second meeting, and third, you’re going to be fine. The first meeting makes or breaks you, because physical intimacy and mutual attraction is important and sometimes someone just doesn’t click with you in that way and once you discover that a long distance friendship is the best you can hope for. But on the occasion that it does work, and the meeting goes well, I think in many ways LDRs can be much stronger than other relationships.


how long did the relationship last? 
were you two engaged ?


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## DietCherry (Mar 7, 2018)

gumboman said:


> how long did the relationship last?
> were you two engaged ?



At 2 years currently


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## Tangram (Mar 24, 2018)

It only works if both parties are 100% faithful and willing to progress into reality at some point. Strictly online relationships are highly autistic and should never be attempted. You can only progress so far through a screen.


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## Yop Yop (Apr 11, 2018)

I ended up on the other side of the Rio Grande for this shit DONT DO LDRs


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## Robot Teapot (Apr 11, 2018)

I think a LDR could be something that works for some folk, yea. To be frank, I've been burnt out via relationships and have been single through choice for almost 4 years now. Just fucking done with the drama tbh. 
Recently I've gotten close to a woman online from another Country and we're DMing every other night. We've got a lot in common and we're gonna meet up in Italy in June. If that works out, then we would be seeing each other only maybe once, twice a month, being in different countries. This will be absolutely fine for me. 

I've never did a LDR, but I think for me, it will work better than a normal seeing the other ALL the time relationship.


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