# You're going to die and you can have any one thing



## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

I think this is an interesting question because it alleviates obvious answers. Tons of people would wish for something like "a shitload of money" which is of basically no use if you're going to die. Hopefully adding death to the equation makes answers much less shallow than they usually are.

So imagine this: you're going to die pretty soon, this is guaranteed. Let's just say it's gonna happen in a few days. You cannot make a wish to not die or anything that would impede with your death, so no "cure for whatever is gonna kill me" or invincibility, etc. You are _going to die_, that much is _certain_, but nothing else is.

No wishes for more wishes. You can have any one thing including things that are impossible or just simply don't exist. Some examples: the ability to fly would be a fine answer even though impossible, and having Half-Life 3 would also be a fine answer even though it doesn't exist.

I think you can finally start to understand things you really want once you start looking at the old "magic genie" question in different ways. Once you actually start figuring out what it is you really want, then you get to be super deep and wonder why it is that you want that.

So, anyway, what would you wish for?


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## Cthulu (Nov 20, 2018)

To take the entire human population with me. Pwned.


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## Dolce & Gabbana (Nov 20, 2018)

I want everything that could usually kill me, ranging from life ruining amounts of every drug I could get to high risk drag racing, whatever, doesn't matter, all of it. And I want as much of it as possible until I see what actually takes me out. Let's rock and roll


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## Tranhuviya (Nov 20, 2018)

Vengeance. Preferably of a non-lethal nature.


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## Alfons Schmitler (Nov 20, 2018)

Cthulu said:


> To take the entire human population with me. Pwned.



This except only niggers and jews.


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## WW 635 (Nov 20, 2018)

Speedball orgy until my heart explodes


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## Yeeb-Renzo (Nov 20, 2018)

Cyanide to get it over with.


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## Guts Gets Some (Nov 20, 2018)

So much for "eternal life"... dammit.

There's too many factors, but I think I'd decide on a fuckton of money and then live it up however I want in the remaining time. Buying whatever, doing whatever, rekindling or helping out those I love, etc.

Yes, money is usually always the best answer.


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## ES 148 (Nov 20, 2018)

World peace. Get fucked.


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## Chaos Theorist (Nov 20, 2018)

To die in my sleep


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## Iwasamwillbe (Nov 20, 2018)

To become a stellar object when I finally croak.


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## Hat (Nov 20, 2018)

A gf.


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## PorcupineTree (Nov 20, 2018)

Yeeb-Renzo said:


> Cyanide to get it over with.



Why not a lethal dose of heroin?


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## JB 236 (Nov 20, 2018)

The ability to reincarnate after death to the exact state that I was in prior to getting this wish and dying


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

I'm noticing a trend here...



Cthulu said:


> To take the entire human population with me. Pwned.





 



Alfons Schmitler said:


> This except only niggers and jews.




 



BigRuler said:


> my wish is that i get to make a list of people (and groups of people), and when i die they all drop dead with me.
> for thousands of years to come, everybody will remember the day of the great mysterious purge as a pivotal event that ushered in a great golden age for humanity.




 



Yeeb-Renzo said:


> Cyanide to get it over with.





Chaos Theorist said:


> To die in my sleep


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 20, 2018)

I don't think at that point there'd be anything else I'd want from life, so I'd probably just ask for benevolent aliens to come and help us advance as far as we can.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Nov 20, 2018)

How soon is "pretty soon"?


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## TheCapybara (Nov 20, 2018)

Enough good Scotch to drink myself to death, I guess.


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

Warsmith Kroeger said:


> The ability to reincarnate after death to the exact state that I was in prior to getting this wish and dying





skiddlez said:


> You cannot make a wish to not die or anything that would impede with your death





skiddlez said:


> You are _going to die_, that much is _certain_


the whole point is that it's final, no reincarnation



Sword Fighter Super said:


> How soon is "pretty soon"?





skiddlez said:


> you're going to die pretty soon, this is guaranteed. Let's just say it's gonna happen *in a few days*.


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## OhGoy (Nov 20, 2018)

i'd wish for my foreskin to come back


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## SweetDee (Nov 20, 2018)

I'd like to be patient zero and begin the zombie apocalypse.


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## Red Hood (Nov 20, 2018)

A Plymouth Superbird and enough highway to last until I keel over.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Nov 20, 2018)

skiddlez said:


> the whole point is that it's final, no reincarnation


So then my wish is to know exactly when I'm going to die so I know how much hell I can raise.


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

Guts Gets Some said:


> Yes, money is usually always the best answer.


It really isn't. It's the kind of shallow shit I was trying to avoid. If you had even an ounce of creativity, you could have at least done something _slightly_ unique like "everything is for free" instead.

The thing is that money is super limited in what it can get you and you have a wish that can do the actual impossible, and you waste it on something that has no lasting impact after you die. Money isn't worth very much to someone who can do the impossible and is going to die.


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## RG 448 (Nov 20, 2018)

If it’s happening soon just give me a massive booze enema so I can die partying.


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## Teri-Teri (Nov 20, 2018)

I would chat with you guys for the last time.


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## Guts Gets Some (Nov 20, 2018)

skiddlez said:


> It really isn't. It's the kind of shallow shit I was trying to avoid. If you had even an ounce of creativity, you could have at least done something _slightly_ unique like "everything is for free" instead.
> 
> The thing is that money is super limited in what it can get you and you have a wish that can do the actual impossible, and you waste it on something that has no lasting impact after you die. Money isn't worth very much to someone who can do the impossible and is going to die.



FYI, you're taking this topic just a bit too seriously, I feel.

Hmm, you must've only skimmed what I actually said. Having a huge amount of money right at the end would then allow me to do everything I would need and/or want to do in my last moments.

Help out old friends, family, possibly even mend old mistakes, experience everything I wouldn't get to otherwise. Money is the only way to live it up right at the end, because I simply couldn't think of just _one_ thing that would allow me to die satisfied.

I almost wouldn't take the offer at all if I could only pick one. Not even worth it, especially since I'm dying anyway.

Otherwise why not just wish for immortality instead and negate your whole question? Oh but despite everything else 'impossible' you can wish for, somehow that one doesn't count?
You didn't think this topic through, which is fine, but then don't get too upset when others notice the loopholes and loose rules.


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## JB 236 (Nov 20, 2018)

skiddlez said:


> the whole point is that it's final, no reincarnation



Well it wont stop my death and I do die, I did not see anything about finality in this, only that you can't prevent death!


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

Guts Gets Some said:


> Help out old friends, family, possibly even mend old mistakes, experience everything I wouldn't get to otherwise.


You can do that without the "infinite money" answer



Guts Gets Some said:


> I almost wouldn't take the offer at all if I could only pick one. Not even worth it, especially since I'm dying anyway.


Dunno why you're posting then



Guts Gets Some said:


> You shouldn't say it can 'do the impossible' either


I literally said in the OP you can do impossible shit like fly, you could teleport, and obviously suddenly giving yourself tons of money out of thin air is also rather impossible



Guts Gets Some said:


> so no wishing for more wishes, immortality and the like


If you bothered to read the OP you might understand why I included those, because I'm trying to force people into a genuine response and not getting out of death, as well as the age old "infinite wishes" wish that is so overused and boring and uncreative. Considering you're so uncreative that you did the first thing I discouraged people from doing it makes sense why you can't see that though



Guts Gets Some said:


> FYI, you're taking this topic just a bit too seriously, I feel.


I'm calling you dumb for posting the shallow response that I called out in the very beginning of the OP for being a crappy and predictable response. Anyway I'm done


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## BeanBidan (Nov 20, 2018)

If I can have one thing? My death to be faster. hurry it up already god.


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

Guts Gets Some said:


> I'm saying if you want people to not exploit loopholes and the like, you gotta make your rules a little tighter than this.





Guts Gets Some said:


> FYI, you're taking this topic just a bit too seriously, I feel.


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## Clop (Nov 20, 2018)

When I was five and six years old, I had this friend, a girl who was around one or two years older than me. Real nice. Had crooked eyes. Still remember her name, too. When I moved with my family, I never saw her again.

If I was going to die, I'd want her to be there so I could spend my last moments catching up on how she's been doing with her life, play some NES games with her again. After we'd be done I'd say that I unfortunately gotta go away again and it's just as unlikely we'd see again and that I'm real glad and motivated to live my life to the fullest now that I had a chance to hang with her after such a long time.


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## ColtWalker1847 (Nov 20, 2018)

A shitload of fireworks


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## J A N D E K (Nov 20, 2018)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> How soon is "pretty soon"?


Now. How soon is... now.


I am the son and heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I would wish that there was a club where I could go and meet somebody who really loves me.

So I wouldn’t have to stand on my own, leave on my own, go home, cry and want to die.


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## Kiwi Jeff (Nov 20, 2018)

@skiddlez, can I bring a friend back to life so I have company when I go?


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## skiddlez (Nov 20, 2018)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> @skiddlez, can I bring a friend back to life so I have company when I go?


Yeah you could bring people back to life.



Spoiler



ow my feels


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Nov 20, 2018)

Iwasamwillbe said:


> To become a stellar object when I finally croak.



You're already a stellar object to me, babe.


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## Malagor the dank omen (Nov 20, 2018)

J A N D E K said:


> Now. How soon is... now.
> 
> 
> I am the son and heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar. I would wish that there was a club where I could go and meet somebody who really loves me.
> ...



If you've made up your mind about it, dying alone it's not that bad. I've already made up my mind about it and i'm not afraid of it. Also, constant loneliness shortens your lifespan by 5-7 years.

For me, it would be to buried in the lobby of a humoungous and extremely creepy mansion with puzzles and secret passages a la Resident Evil and also with hidden switches and hidden speakers and devices to make it appeare like it's haunted and leave the deed to the family of my brother.


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## J A N D E K (Nov 20, 2018)

Malagor the dank omen said:


> If you've made up your mind about it, dying alone it's not that bad. I've already made up my mind about it and i'm not afraid of it. Also, constant loneliness shortens your lifespan by 5-7 years.
> 
> For me, it would be to buried in the lobby of a humoungous and extremely creepy mansion with puzzles and secret passages a la Resident Evil and also with hidden switches and hidden speakers and devices to make it appeare like it's haunted and leave the deed to the family of my brother.



You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I’m human and I need to be loved... just like everybody  else does.


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## Malagor the dank omen (Nov 20, 2018)

J A N D E K said:


> You shut your mouth. How can you say I go about things the wrong way? I’m human and I need to be loved... just like everyone else does.



Not everyone needs it... Nor deserves it. Some people aren't cut for some things, even those.


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## J A N D E K (Nov 20, 2018)

To answer seriously, from the depths of my soul, I’d only want one thing. To have this little fella back at my side again. Miss you so much buddy. RIP Bu.


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## Leadlight_ (Nov 20, 2018)

A dozen traps.


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## usernames can change now! (Nov 20, 2018)

Life after death. I wish to be a spooky spirit after I die, inhabiting a computer or some shit that allows me to continue shitposting for eternity.


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## Sylvie Paula Paula (Nov 20, 2018)

To be fucked by a bunch of hot dudes. Preferrably *to* death, and not before I die.


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## Al Gulud (Nov 20, 2018)

I'd make an enormous monument of my dick that everyone in the U.S.A has to visit at least once a year. It has been a long dream of mine.


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## PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue (Nov 20, 2018)

Spoiler: Question



Can I wish to switch places with someone who's already dead? As in they get revived and live out the years I had left. Is that allowed?
( I'd switch places with Edd Gould, so that he could finish his series as he intended to, leaving no space for Tomska to butcher it, additionally have him to live a peaceful life.)


If not, I'd wish to be buried in Mars.


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## MembersSchoolPizza (Nov 20, 2018)

To be remembered for a bunch of good shit I probably didn't really do, like inventing a cure for all cancer, or a clean, effective, efficient power source. And to have people forget a lot of the shit I probably did do. 

Basically, give the Abraham Lincoln treatment post-mortem.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Nov 20, 2018)

A blowjob from Irina Shayk and/or a scooie of Hahn Super Dry.  Don't really care which, I'll flip a coin if I have to.


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## MemeGray (Nov 20, 2018)

I'd like a 4 hour Quake 2 money match against DSP, Wings of redemption and LTG.

Mics will be on permanently and we'll all have shock pads attatched to the backs of our hands, if you don't get a kill in aminute you get shocked, if you rage you get shocked, if you call bullshit and it wasn't, shocked.

Best of all i'd livestream it for everyone.


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## KillThemCrackasBabies (Nov 20, 2018)

Bondage sex with Katy Perry.


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## gachacunt (Nov 20, 2018)

A great amount of wealth. Not in the zone of a billion dollars, but enough to where my family can live comfortably for the rest of their lives and not attract unsavory people. 

What's the point of wishing for myself when I won't be able to cherish it for the rest of my life? I'd rather give it to those that truly deserve it.


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## Cilleystring (Nov 20, 2018)

I'd wish to be black as fuck, like purple black


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## eldri (Nov 20, 2018)

The love of my life


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## Duncan Construction (Nov 21, 2018)

A day where everything goes right and I get to do exactly what makes me happy, a good day, ice-cube style


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## Hail Nyarlathotep (Nov 21, 2018)

< I would turn into this bastard and have fun for the remaining time I'd be, alive.


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## AF 802 (Nov 24, 2018)

Whatever they give the death row inmates to kill them.

I want the sweet release of death right now.


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## Canned Bread (Nov 24, 2018)

A shit ton of meth.


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## KelpieSelkie (Nov 24, 2018)

I'd wish for a person I really admire both intellectually and physically to hang out with me for a day. Ideally he'd also fuck me, but I wouldn't feel too great about guilt tripping someone into sex just because I'm dying.


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## Daughter of Cernunnos (Nov 25, 2018)

I would want knowledge of the supernatural. How souls, the afterlife and other things all work. Even if I was going to die really soon, I'd still like to know the truth.


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## MadDamon (Nov 25, 2018)

My family's memories of me, just so they won't feel sad when I'm gone


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## Kamiii (Nov 25, 2018)

In reality, we're all gonna die with no wishes granted.


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## polonium (Nov 25, 2018)

At the moment just prior to death, an almost-perfect (as close as possible) copy of my conciousness is copied into a computer complex enough to run the simulation in real time, with reasonable amount of cycles to spare for future advancement.
It's no reincarnation because it's not _me_ it's just a copy of something that behaves like me, and we exist at the same time (briefly). It's enough like me to continue to do all the things I would have done if I didn't have this ridiculous contrived curse/wish situation placed on me, such as get revenge on @skiddlez


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## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Nov 30, 2018)

The ability to control the flow of time and act outside of it. Haha, how are you gonna kill me now fatal disease?

If I can't have that, I'll also take the brain upload to paradise land server.


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## Midlife Sperglord (Nov 30, 2018)

A part of me wants to make the sarcastic joke about wanting a harem of willing sex servents to party with until I die.

But, seriously, I would want a vacation to Germany.  Preferably if I were to die while partying at Oktoberfest.


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## DrunkJoe (Dec 1, 2018)

The launch codes to start a real fallout.


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## dirtydeanna96 (Dec 1, 2018)

I'd like a TARDIS for a few days.
Go to the past, get some nonextant documents for scholars and historians. Right before death, go to a close-ish extra solar planet and die, so a probe finds a human corpse in the far future.


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## OJ 473 (Dec 1, 2018)

Go to Gensoukyou and get vored by cute girls.


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## spurger king (Dec 2, 2018)

I want one of these, but with an eye-rape paint job and a couple of powerful speakers facing the ground. Oh also it would be my means of dying as well.


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## Hammerstein (Dec 2, 2018)

A shitload of money. Not for me obviously, but for my wife and kid.


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## Ted_Breakfast (Dec 2, 2018)

Morphine.  Lots and lots of morphine.  Enough to make the transition as painless as possible.


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## sweetdreamslambie (Dec 2, 2018)

some goddamn rest.. oh wait


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## Russian Collusion (Dec 2, 2018)

This will sound weird but I'd ask someone I love where they want to go for vacation. That way they have something fun to look back on after I'm gone.


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## Emperor Julian (Dec 2, 2018)

Well there's this guy in my home village who likes to fuck little girls and it's only the fact he's getting old and everyone knows him which prevents this so If I ever get a terminal decease I'm just going to go and choke him out.

Does that count?


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## Pinup Paracelsus (Dec 27, 2018)

I'd want the rest of Dino Stamatopulos's Moral Orel, completely untouched by Adult Swim, I'm infinitely upset they cancelled the show


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## lowkey (Dec 28, 2018)

BigRuler said:


> my wish is that i get to make a list of people (and groups of people), and when i die they all drop dead with me.
> for thousands of years to come, everybody will remember the day of the great mysterious purge as a pivotal event that ushered in a great golden age for humanity.



I would do this. But I'd also write a book full of bad poetry and dungeons and dragon larping, as well as a couple chapters in latin and a non-existing language. I'd print at least 10 of them, handbound them if need be, and make a youtube video how I studied hamsters all my life and how studying hampture finally led to a breakthrough of the coming world changing event that was coming and predict the purge about 90% acurately, just wrong enough to keep people debating for centuries.

Should result in either a hampture religion or eradication of hamsters. Or both, with people secretly builfing underwater habitats for hamsters and hamster police trying to find them all.


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## Imperialist #348 (Jan 1, 2019)

one giant library containing all and every item to exist and will exist, which is watched over by those who will stand the test of time.


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## TerminalTryHard (Jan 1, 2019)

For the person above me to not get their wish granted.


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## Carcinogenesis (Jan 2, 2019)

The eradication of suffering.  Death is inevitable, we can at least die in peace.


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## The Fool (Jan 2, 2019)

I would wish that, moments before my death, I would spontaneously get an erection, that, through a series of unforeseeable but blatantly observable events, would result in a terrorist being stopped from committing an act that would have deviated the world and would have left a long-lasting mark that would result in decades of tragedy. The world over would herald my dick and it's incredible erection as the savior of all mankind, and my tombstone would be erected (lol) in the facsimile of my phallus to honor me and my unique capabilities. These events would accumulate into a chain reaction of all the fit and capable youths in the modern world to forego their own futures and skill-sets to instead focus on their erections and their capabilities for forming one. As the decades passed, families would fail to form and society would fail to prosper as all young males would be too focused on perfecting their erections to re-enact my own world-saving erection. As the years would persist, the Erection Games would ensue where world leaders would be selected not by their political connections or charisma, but by the power of their erection versus the erections of the men chosen previously by the Erection Games. Eventually, mankind itself would be so focused on forming erections that all their self-preservation and procreation instincts would become overridden with the desire of having an erection, and mankind itself would revert back into the middle ages. Through the primitive nature of man learning how to weave cloth again to protect themselves from the harsh winters brought about by global warming, their monuments crumbling by the day, only one thing would be left standing amidst it all; my solid stone cock.


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## Zarkov (Jan 2, 2019)

I'd wish to become a mod on the A&H forum.


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## Oglooger (Jan 3, 2019)

enough adderal so I can work on comics and writing before I die


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