# Shanties Without Panties



## RichardRApe (Dec 10, 2020)

Parody Song Thread about the life and times of Ethan Ralph

*Fresh Stench of Shit Air*

Now this is a story all about how
My gunt turned tricks out inside jail
I'd like to take drink and just sniff this poo
I'll tell you how I told all the a-logs and my Mah _It's Not True_

In West Memphis, Arkansas
Born and raised
In my bedroom was where I spent most of my days
Streaming out max and jackin' it all cool
Watching BLACKED cuck nigger porn outside of the school
When a dumb little thot, her teeth were no good
Darkest, blackest crack in my neighborhood
I got in one little fuck and her womb was impaired
I said "you're moving in with panstu and me live on air".

I tweeted at her Dad, stuck my thumb my in her rear
My tampon breath was fresh and I had lice in my beard
If anything I can say that this gunt is Chad
Then I thought "Nah, forget it, I got mange, losing hair"

I, pulled, out of my spouse around 7 or 8
And I yelled taking Xannies "LET'S GO, HIT IT GATOR"
I looked at the killstream
Not a lemon to spare
To read broke dick farms all alone in my chair

*Crawling In My Scrotal Skin





Another Fresh Prince of Bel Air Parody from *@Niggernerd

Now this is a story all about how
My gunt got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became a clown live on air 

In Memphis, Tennessee born and raised At the liquor store was where I spent most of my days
Poppin' out drinkin' relaxin' all cool
And all smoking some meth outside of the school 
When a couple of groids who were up to no good started cucking us whiteys in my neighborhood

*Gunt In the Wind*




Your browser is not able to display this video.


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## Kaiser Aura (Dec 10, 2020)

Finally, a place for @WhimsicalTrolli to post musical gunt parodies without fear of getting banned


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## Knyttet (Dec 10, 2020)

No Gunt Song Thread would be complete without Jarbo the Hutt.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 10, 2020)

YAY. Should I share the parody if the weight or everybody wants to build the world?


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## RichardRApe (Dec 10, 2020)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> YAY. Should I share the parody if the weight or everybody wants to build the world?


That would be great!


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 10, 2020)

RichardRApe said:


> That would be great!



I'll probably write some new songs every once in awhile, I should let the new guard have their fun. Maybe learn a thing or two.


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## RichardRApe (Dec 10, 2020)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> I'll probably write some new songs every once in awhile, I should let the new guard have their fun. Maybe learn a thing or two.


All songs are welcome. This thread won't be a fast moving thread but I bet it's going to have some of the most solid content when all is said and done.


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## WeWuzFinns (Dec 10, 2020)

Take Me Home, Guntry Roads - A guntry music classic from the era just before the shit sniffing tape










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## PhoBingas (Dec 10, 2020)

My first song. Smells like Teen Asshole


Load up on drugs, bring your simps
It's fun to sniff and to pretend
She's over-fed and ass-with-turds
Oh no, I know an eff slur
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler
With the noseplugs, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, guntertain us
I feel bloated and contagious
Here we are now, guntertain us
Maker's bottle, couple xannies, lots of lemons, from my simps tho
Yeah, hey
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this grift I feel based
Our little group has always been
And always will until until they snake
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler
With the noseplugs, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, guntertain us
I feel bloated and contagious
Here we are now, guntertain us
Maker's bottle, couple xannies, lots of lemons, from my simps tho
Yeah, hey
And I forget just why I huff
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me wild
I found it hard, it's hard to find
My dick, under my front-behind
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler, gay-durr
holler, holler, holler
With the noseplugs, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, guntertain us
I feel bloated and contagious
Here we are now, guntertain us
Maker's bottle, couple xannies, lots of lemons, from my simps tho
Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!
Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!, Gator, flag 'em!


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## The Demon Baby (Dec 10, 2020)

Gunt sat alone with his Makers Mark
Sniffin his thumb for the scent of a shart
Voice drawl sounds like an Alabaman
Sleepin at home right next to his mama

He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
His liver's dead
He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
Potato head

Gunt's undies stink and always stained
His room reeks of booze, marijuana, and methane
Killstream so sad, his guests are bland
Is Gunt fast asleep or just passed out from the Xans?

He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
His liver's dead
He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
Gator's a sped

Gunt was fat and hungry and needed food
Gunt pissed off his simps, they were no longer in the mood
Ate some trashburgers straight from the can
How long before Gunt is living in a van?

He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
His liver's dead
He's Gunt, he's Gunt, he's Gunt
Potato head

Does his gunt cover his dick?
I think so
Does his gunt cover his dick?
I think so
Does his gunt cover his dick?
I think so
Does his gunt cover his dick?


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 10, 2020)

Never gonna groom you up
Parody of never gonna give you up


We're no strangers to drugs
You know the rules and so do I
I going to leave you in your own vomit
You won't get this from any other drunk


And I I want tell how im feeling
I'm going to you it's not hot outside


I'm gonna groom you up 
And I gonna sniff your ass
And I tell you to call an Uber
And im gonna release the tape
And say it was hacked
And you will come back to get pregnant


 I only known you for 7 months
My gunt has been aching but im too shy it
We went to Dc to Richmond
I'm going to finger you and sniff it
And you asked why I live with my mom
I'm gonna it's my own wing


I'm gonna groom you up 
And I gonna sniff your ass
And I tell you to call an Uber
And im gonna release the tape
And say it was hacked
And you will come back to get pregnant


Ooooh gonna groom you up

Ooooh gonna groom you up



Gonna Groom, Gonna Groom
(Groom you up)
(Ooh) Gonna Groom, Gonna Groom

(Groom you up)


 I only known you for 7 months
My gunt has been aching but im too shy it
We went to Dc to Richmond
I'm going to finger you and sniff it

And you asked why I live with my mom
I'm gonna it's my own wing


I'm gonna groom you up 
And I gonna sniff your ass
And I tell you to call an Uber
And im gonna release the tape
And say it was hacked
And you will come back to get pregnant


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## PhoBingas (Dec 12, 2020)

Kiss the Gunt

Never had self respect
Plate gang fucked my car
I want to be a alt-right podcast star
I want to be a shill
Don't need no soul
want to make big money
Grifting right wing simps
I'll make the killstream boring
I'll play tucker clips and gloat
I ain't no artist, I'm a business man
No ideas of my own
might reoffend
Or get maxed out
Just sex with troons
And maker's mark
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
shitty asshole!
Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
shitty asshole!
You'll pay ten bucks to see me
with my fifteen year old wife
Gator fuckin' ban that guy
He mentioned fai-fai's gone
If my friends say
I've lost my edge
I'll laugh and say
That's just Dlive
But there's just one problem
Is my gunt big enough
Is my cock small enough
to grift ten thousand lemons
Give it a lick, I'll sell you my soul
Kiss the gunt and you'll go far
And when I'm rich
And meet with Trump
We'll shoot some golf
And snort some xan
Is my gunt big enough?
Is my cock small enough?
Is my gunt big enough
Is my cock small enough
to grift ten thousand lemons
Give it a lick, I'll sell you my soul
Pull the gunt and you'll go far

To the tune of Pull my Strings


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## Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (Dec 12, 2020)

I posted this on page 3000

Roses - Outkast parody

Fai Fai!
(Fai Fai!)
See, Fai Fai, all the guys would say she's a child bride
(child bride!)
But child bride only got you attention half the time
And the other half either got you knocked up, or coming up short
Yeah, dig this now, even though
(even though)
You need a playskool calculator to divide
(to divide)
The time it took to look inside and realize
That real guys go for real down syndrome girls, yeah

I know you like to think your shit don't stank
But lean a little bit closer, see
roses really smell like your poo-o-o
Yeah, roses really smell IT'S NAWT TRUUUUUU


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 13, 2020)

I'm loving the creativity. I'll post some very soon.


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## The Demon Baby (Dec 14, 2020)

*My Rekieta*






Ooooh you're such a grifty one, a grifty one
Superchat you all of the time, Rekieta
Ooooh I gave you twenty bucks. you twenty bucks
Bump it to the front of the line, Rekieta

Ralph is fucking up, shield The Gunt, with my lawyer's mind
I'm always such a cunt, Drexel cucks me with my lovely wife
My, my, my, I, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my Rekieta

Masterson's my closest bud, defender of
Loli and the pedophiles, why Rekieta?
Seeing the hypocrisy, gets to me
You're doing it all of the time, Rekieta

Ralph is fucking up, shield The Gunt, with my lawyer's mind
I'm always such a cunt, Drexel cucks me with my lovely wife
My, my, my, I, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my Rekieta
M-m-m-my Rekieta

When you gonna smarten up, smarten up
Why are you so willfully blind, Rekieta?
Is it just the money, the money
Superchats will dry up sometime, Rekieta

Ralph is fucking up, shield The Gunt, with my lawyer's mind
I'm always such a cunt, Drexel cucks me with my lovely wife
My, my, my, I, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my Rekieta
M-m-m-my Rekieta
M-m-m-my Rekieta
M-m-m-my Rekieta
M-m-m-my Rekieta


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## Bixnood (Dec 14, 2020)

https://youtu.be/12KHgEEkqeY
		

a classic banger from ear juice.


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## AltisticRight (Dec 14, 2020)

Wiggum










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## Niggaplease (Dec 14, 2020)

A free form:
A gunt that jiggles like giga pudding
Wobbles, as the pimply cheeks claps against him.
The thumb goes where no thumb should go.
And yet I cry out no!
As he sniffs the rancid scent..of a teen
Washed up past her bloom
How I felt in the room.
Now I long for a drink...
Yet I highly doubt it would help me
Not think.
For unlike him a fifth wont do.
For I would need to wash it in a sea of liqueur.
To not remember that gunts jiggle.
Death would be quicker

Okay heres my attempt at a song
He wakes up in the morning
Sinking in to a bottle
Takes another fifth of makes mark.
Everything thing is bleak and I dont xanax would help his heart.

I dont know why he sniffs shit.
They say I'm fine but I'm not fine..

I'm dying inside and all I see is jiggles,
I try to cry.
But all I manage is giggles.

I think theres something wrong with him
Because despite his heft.
Every time he pops up he look like he did meth.
He probably sleeps for nineteen hours
On a Thursday afternoon.
He pops a xanax
He doesnt know what to.

Why does he sniff shit?
I want to see my therapist!

Ladies and gentlemen if you want to fucking kill yourselves raise your razor blades in the air:
Hey ho
Hey ho
Hey ho
Hey
Hey
Help!
Help!
Help!
HEEELLLP!

I'm dying inside and all I see is jiggles...
I try to cry.
All manage is giggles.
I'm dying inside and all I see are jiggles..
I try to cry
All I manage is giggles.


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## itsoktobewhite (Dec 14, 2020)

An oldie, but a goodie!

edit: I’m sure it’s archived somewhere, but just in case: can someone please archive this for me? I’m unable to do it myself at this time.


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## PhoBingas (Dec 14, 2020)

itsoktobewhite said:


> I’m sure it’s archived somewhere, but just in case: can someone please archive this for me? I’m unable to do it myself at this time.






Your browser is not able to display this video.



... And done.


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## FM Bradley (Dec 14, 2020)

Anyone thought about an album of collected Gunt Songs with the Bandcamp proceeds going into, like, some sort of trust fund or something for the Guntspawn? They can be effortsongs (like the "Boulder King" track that someone made Metokur) or...not quite effort, ala Simp Show (I don't know how else to put it and I'm a fan of his.) Or anything inbetween or outside of that. 

Discuss.


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## RichardRApe (Dec 14, 2020)

FM Bradley said:


> Anyone thought about an album of collected Gunt Songs with the Bandcamp proceeds going into, like, some sort of trust fund or something for the Guntspawn? They can be effortsongs (like the "Boulder King" track that someone made Metokur) or...not quite effort, ala Simp Show (I don't know how else to put it and I'm a fan of his.) Or anything inbetween or outside of that.
> 
> Discuss.


That's a great idea actually and charitable. It's bad enough it has the parents it has, it might be a nice gesture.


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## FM Bradley (Dec 14, 2020)

RichardRApe said:


> That's a great idea actually and charitable. It's bad enough it has the parents it has, it might be a nice gesture.


That's half the allure.  Dunking on the Gunt because he's a deadbeat father and this sick buncha shits here at KF care more about his kid than he does.  

Actually maybe just a livestream of half-ass Gunt Christmas songs to run against yet another torturous holiday Karaoke Guntstream, maybe a half-snipe, half songs.


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## Mr. Manchester (Dec 14, 2020)

These are all great songs but I came here expecting SHANTIES
Lucky for you guys I know just the one:

What will we do with a drunken retard?
What will we do with a drunken retard?
What will we do with a drunken retard?
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Sweep his gunt you jannie Gayder
Sweep his gunt you jannie Gayder
Sweep his gunt you jannie Gayder
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Put Mom in an Uber moth-er-fuck-er
Put Mom in an Uber moth-er-fuck-er
Put Mom in an Uber moth-er-fuck-er
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Stick him on DLive with only lemons
Stick him on DLive with only lemons
Stick him on DLive with only lemons
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Put him in the bed with Vicker's daughter
Put him in the bed with Vicker's daughter
Put him in the bed with Vicker's daughter
9 O'Clock in the mornin'

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

That's what we do with a drunken retard
That's what we do with a drunken retard
That's what we do with a drunken retard
9 O'Clock in the mornin'

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!

Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
Gunt grunt and ITS NAWT TRUE
9 O'Clock in the mornin'!


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## RichardRApe (Dec 14, 2020)

Mr. Manchester said:


> These are all great songs but I came here expecting SHANTIES


Yeah with the revelation of Ethan not wearing underwear (like the disgusting pig he is) I wanted something to rhyme with. It's what came to mind, I just realized I could have called the thread Songs Without Thongs. Damn... Shanties Without Panties is pretty good too although I'll admit the shoehorn.

Love the Shanty btw! I'd love to single out a certain verse but they're all based! lmao


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## Shiggy Diggster (Dec 14, 2020)

Sheena is a Punk Rocker something something words FaiFai is a Gunt Fucker more words the end.


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## FM Bradley (Dec 15, 2020)

PhoBingas said:


> Kiss the Gunt
> 
> Never had self respect
> Plate gang fucked my car
> ...


When I was scrolling down, I was like, "I think he accidentally made something that sounds like that DK song," then I saw it actually was.  The day I bought my first Dead Kennedys album at 15, was the day everything reset for me.  Not in that dumb wanky "Manic Panic Hair Emo Listens to 'Dookie' For the First Time" faggotry either but actual questioning of everything I thought I knew prior.  

So yeah. Counterprogramming of Guntsongs against the guntmas karaoke, because let's face it, whatever shit we put together won't even register on the Cringe Scale in comparison to that Guntstream, no matter how lazy, riddled with tech difficulties, and silly. Be even better if we get someone on both streams for max Gunted Afterseethe.


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## FuzzMushr00m (Dec 15, 2020)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHw0jRSvgdI


Spoiler: Ride the Guntling



Obese and drunk, but damn it Ronnie's proud, this is what winning means to me
Meth in the air, trapped on the gaming chair, I think I'm peeing down my knee
No threesomes, only pain, my beetus socks are stiff

Gunt before my eyes
Now it's time to die
Drowning in its skin
I can taste the grease

You can't abort that which has no soul, in my damnation I am free
My current girl, she used to be a man, so Zoomer Girl could only flee 
My unborn son is there, 1000 miles from me

Someone help me, GAYDUR HELP ME!
They're trying to break me on the inside
Fuck my child bride

Chat moving slow, no lemons in 6 hours, not even alogs sniping me
No IRL, live feedback is my hell, this child support's destroying me
My gunt folds' horrid queefs, they are alogging me


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## Glade Candles (Dec 15, 2020)

_Streaming Gunt _to the tune of _Rocket Man _by Elton John



			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV4iCFqhSY0
		


Packed up my grocery bag last night
Flight leaves so early, 2 PM
And I’m gonna be high on Ma’s pills by then
I miss VA so much, I miss my bed
It’s lonely in Tampa on such a wasted trip

*Chorus:*
And I bet it’s gonna be a long, long while
Before I’ll get to see my Fai Fai smile
I’m not a man, no I’m not one at all
Oh no no no, I’m a Streaming Gunt
Streaming Gunt, smoking up this meth all on my own

*(Repeat Chorus)*

Twitter’s no place to raise your kids
In fact it’s gay as hell
And there’s no one there to guard you if you’re trolled
And all my paypigs, I just can’t stand
It’s just my job three days a week
A Streaming Gunt, a Streaming Gunt

*(Chorus x2)*

And I bet it’s gonna be a long, long while *(Repeat x8 )*


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 15, 2020)

You guys are killing it. Let's just say my upcoming parody wont be Disney friendly.

I'll post my song when other people posted so I don't double post.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 18, 2020)

How's everyone?


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## RichardRApe (Dec 18, 2020)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> How's everyone?


At the edge of my seat with your new song and thinking about what Ralph's latest IRL fuckup will be.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 18, 2020)

Here is a song for faifai and I hope she likes it because it is based on the franchise she holds dear.

Drunk and Dirty (Parody of Simple and Clean)

(Chrous)
When you drink away, trying to strangle may
"YOU KNOW WHO I AM" you say
Drunk and dirty is the way you making me feel tonight
It's time for me to go home.


(Verse 1)
You're giving me too many drinks
Lately you're choking me
You hollered at me you said
Faifai you know that love you
I hope you understand that I was hacked
If you try to find out our relationship is over. 

(Chrous)
When you drink away, trying to strangle may
"YOU KNOW WHO I AM" you say
Drunk and dirty is the way you making me feel tonight
It's time for me to go home.

(Verse 2)
The daily things
(Like salad, drugs and beer)
That keep you busy
Its fucking me up
You came to me you said
Faifai why can't you do the threesome
You're hurting me more than my father
I'll leave this earth than my baby live without its mom
I gotta go because may got hungover


(Chrous)

When you drink away, trying to strangle may
"YOU KNOW WHO I AM" you say
Drunk and dirty is the way you making me feel tonight
It's time for me to go home.


(Bridge and Outro)
Daddy
Ralph has assaulted me
I'll run away
With the little dignity
To come home with the demon baby

(Chrous)

When you drink away, trying to strangle may
"YOU KNOW WHO I AM" you say
Drunk and dirty is the way you making me feel tonight
It's time for me to go home.


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## TriggerMeElmo (Dec 18, 2020)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> Here is a song for faifai and I hope she likes it because it is based on the franchise she holds dear.
> 
> Drunk and Dirty (Parody of Simple and Clean)
> 
> ...


Kingdom Hearts is pretty gay though.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 18, 2020)

TriggerMeElmo said:


> Kingdom Hearts is pretty gay though.


But even I appreciate fine music.


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## Quorthon (Dec 18, 2020)

Ralphstein - Mein Gunt

(I used Google translate to make this so I'm sure there are many weird errors)

Heute werde ich im Internet wüten
Ich hasse Josh so sehr, dass es mich nur auffrisst
Kleiner Penis und ein riesiger Gunt
Bin alles was ich habe

ich das bin, was ich esse
Und es kommt aus dem Müll

Es ist mein Gunt – nein
Mein Gunt – nein
Da das ist mein Gunt – nein
Mein Gunt – nein

Mein rechter Daumen ist gut und stinkt
Ich trinke viel und fühle mich krank
Obwohl ich blockieren muss, um die Hasser zu besitzen
Ich vermeide jede Konfrontation

Ich bin einfach so erbärmlich
Und so dünnhäutig
Und so schrecklich groß und grotesk
Und ohne mein Kind Braut
Und hässlicher Pädophiler
Ja, ich nehme ein paar Pillen
Sie müssen einen Uber anrufen

ich das bin, was ich esse
Und es kommt aus dem Müll

Es ist mein Gunt – nein
Mein Gunt – nein
Da das ist mein Gunt – nein
Mein Gunt – nein

Translation: (According to google)

Today I'm going to rage on the internet
I hate Josh so much it just eats me up
Small penis and a huge gunt
All i have

i am what i eat
And it comes from the trash

It's my gunt - no
My gunt - no
Because that's my gunt - no
My gunt - no

My right thumb is good and smelly
I drink a lot and feel sick
Though I have to block to own the haters
I avoid any confrontation

I am just so pathetic
And so thin-skinned
And so terribly big and grotesque
And without my child bride
And ugly pedophile
Yeah, I'll take a couple of pills
You have to call an Uber

i am what i eat
And it comes from the trash

It's my gunt - no
My gunt - no
Because that's my gunt - no
My gunt - no


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 18, 2020)

Quorthon said:


> Ralphstein - Mein Gunt
> 
> (I used Google translate to make this so I'm sure there are many weird errors)
> 
> ...


What's the original song?


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## Quorthon (Dec 18, 2020)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> What's the original song?


Rammstein - Mein Teil



			https://youtu.be/ex_fhddymdQ


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 19, 2020)

I can't believe no one has made a parody of this song.

Limp by limp (parody of step by step)
Writer: Cal Rollia.


Limp by limp
All the gunt guards come watching in
And if don't sweep the stream
They will start again

'Cause Dark Butters diamond
I feel like a pimp
And the many gunt guards
I call them simps

If I'm late to stream, gaydur take over
Rand check the audio
I need a tab flam is on tap
Andy will come through

From nora to ade to faith
The gunt guards come sweeping In
The alogs are spamming my chat with corn
You better Janny it up Gaydur
Dingo is a wigger.
I just got arrested for releasing revenge porn
Bibble is a token nigger.

If I'm late to stream, gaydur take over
Rand check the audio
I need a tab flam is on tap
Andy will come through


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## FM Bradley (Dec 20, 2020)

Poor Jesse Winchester.  Too dead to object to Gunt using his music.  Sad.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 22, 2020)

If you guys want to collab on some gunt parodies lets do it.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 10, 2021)

I will release new parodies to celebrate gunt in la saga.


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## Me262PrinceOfTurboJet (Mar 2, 2021)

You see me now a veteran of a thousand gay-op wars! I've been scrollin through the farms so long, where the laughs of A-logs roar!  And I'm dumb enough to ignore, and far too drunk to see! The scars are on my liver! I'm not sure if theres anything left ot me! Don't let these shakes go on! It's time I had a break from it!


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 13, 2021)

Me262PrinceOfTurboJet said:


> You see me now a veteran of a thousand gay-op wars! I've been scrollin through the farms so long, where the laughs of A-logs roar!  And I'm dumb enough to ignore, and far too drunk to see! The scars are on my liver! I'm not sure if theres anything left ot me! Don't let these shakes go on! It's time I had a break from it!


What's the original song?


----------



## FM Bradley (Mar 14, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> What's the original song?


Blue Oyster Cult - "Veteran of Psychic Wars"


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 18, 2021)

NEW SONG!!!!!!

Title: Guntbusting (parody of Cloudbusting by kate Bush
Writer: Call Rollia.

I still dream of a disavow
I'm waiting terrified
Of the Gunt's screaming
But he's always late
But you don't know what happens in the killstream

You're the gift that keeps giving
That allows glowniggers
And the guards keeps sweeping
But you can't stop the karens
Sniping.

Everytime he drinks
The pills keep rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen

Booted from dlive
No more ninjets
You're on burrowed time
You're relevance is small
But your debt still grows.
To be a simp for the lemon emperors.

You're chugging the booze
Seething due to pho
Clogging up your liver
Milo can't save you
Let's fucking go

Everytime he drinks
The pills keeps rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen


Everytime he drinks
The pills keeps rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen
The guards sweep the chat
The neckbread sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen

But you never know when a Pillstream about to happen.

Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh

Cant beat the karens, Gunty

Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh


----------



## AltisticRight (Mar 22, 2021)

Richmond Ralph Ranch ft. Milo Yiannopoulos

[Chorus]
Fourteen naked White cowboys in the showers at Ralph Ranch
Micro hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked
Eighty-eight naked Black cowboys wanting to be fucked
Cowboys in the kitchen at Ralph Ranch
On their knees wanting to suck big Black cocks
Ralph Ranch really rocks

[Verse 1]
Hot hard buff cowboys, their cocks throbbing hard
Eighteen more wild guntguards out in the yard
Big bulging cocks ever so hard

[Verse 2]
Orgy in the showrooms at Ralph Ranch
Big hard Black cocks ramming Ethan's butt
Like a breeding ram wanting to rut

[Verse 3]
Big hard Black cocks Milo sucked real deep
Ethan even getting fucked in their sleep
Ralph Ranch, it rocks
Wiggers love big hard throbbing Black cocks

[Chorus]
Fourteen naked White cowboys in the showers at Ralph Ranch
Micro hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked
Eighty-eight naked Black cowboys wanting to be fucked
Cowboys in the kitchen at Ralph Ranch
On their knees wanting to suck big Black cocks
Ralph Ranch really rocks


[Verse 1]
Hot hard buff cowboys, their cocks throbbing hard
Eighteen more wild guntguards out in the yard
Big bulging cocks ever so hard

[Verse 2]
Orgy in the showrooms at Ralph Ranch
Big hard Black cocks ramming Ethan's butt
Like a breeding ram wanting to rut


[Chorus]
Fourteen naked White cowboys in the showers at Ralph Ranch
Micro hard throbbing cocks wanting to be sucked
Eighty-eight naked Black cowboys wanting to be fucked
Cowboys in the kitchen at Ralph Ranch
On their knees wanting to suck big Black cocks
Ralph Ranch really rocks


[Verse 3]
Big hard Black cocks Milo sucked real deep
Ethan even getting fucked in their sleep
Ralph Ranch, it rocks
Wiggers love big hard throbbing Black cocks


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 22, 2021)

YES! LET THE PARODIES FLOW! THE 2021 CORN SEASON IS RIPE!


----------



## Cucktry Roads (Mar 22, 2021)

Gezz I was just reading the new stuff in the Pantsu thread. Fucking pedophile and the Gunt putting up with that shit.

loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!
Bom bom bom bom

loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!
Bom bom bom bom

She calls his baby sexy
You know why...
Ralph’s gunt is fatter than a pork pie
And when the law snaps on that porn not from France
Pantsu, won’t stand a chance

We call them
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!

Fatter than Randy and Ol’ Shanny
Maker’s mark, xanax or meth
If he has a choice
They’d all be his pick
But loligunt hates wine.

loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!
Bom bom bom bom

Crazy way she tweets we
Tell us why
Enjoying those cartoon kids’ thighs
She loved to kiss kids 'til they called the cops
Gee loligunt deserves no props



I call them
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!
Bom bom bom bom

loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt loligunt
Oh loli loli loli
loligunt!
A-loligunt!​


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 22, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> Gezz I was just reading the new stuff in the Pantsu thread. Fucking pedophile and the Gunt putting up with that shit.
> 
> loligunt loligunt
> Oh loli loli loli
> ...


What a classic, hope to see you upload more classics in this shanty.


----------



## T_Holygrail_Jesuschrist 2 (Mar 29, 2021)

*Moonlight On The Gunt  *(original song)

Verse 1
Momma cried, cops got on board
Into the gunt just like us
I was born by a gunt that flow dried up
Forget me, see you a friend of mine

Pre-Chorus
And you take so often to the road that you get lonely
You just run away and like a gunt you flow

Chorus
Where the gunt is running near
Where the gunt is running near
Up on the mountains, clouds at the distance
Moonlight on the gunt but to get money you gotta go so far

Verse 2
My bucket hat was in flames
Gonna jump in that gunt, since you sent me a text
I, I walked along this gunt .turned from pond to shore
The water reflecting something .I was sure

Pre-Chorus
Go, find a gunt to drown in
Somebody to sell out

Chorus
Where the gunt is running near
Where the gunt is running near
Up on the mountains, clouds at the distance
Moonlight on the gunt but to get money you gotta go so far

Bridge
Like crying you a gunt, give me twenty one
You heard I kill a nigga, I damn near caught a body

Chorus
Where the gunt is running near
Where the gunt is running near
Up on the mountains, clouds at the distance
Moonlight on the gunt but to get money you gotta go so far


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 31, 2021)

*GUNTS*

Parodied by Tusk by Fleetwood Mac
Written by: Cal Rollia

(Verse)
Wobbling drunkenly at digi's house
Your girlfriend may looks like a mouse
Ay..........
Why You are acting like a big dork
When you are buzzed all you can do is squak
O-o-o-o
Rushing into the door, asking who's five foot 1
Punches start flaying the gunt is stun
Hooga hagga hooga

(Bridge)
Don't say That you're five 1
(HIYEE)
Just tell me you're four nine
(HIYEE)
GUNTS!
Look at them Gunts
May is such a Cunt
GUNT!
May is such a cunt
(Pill rattle drum roll with incoherent wanna holler at me clip)

(outro)

GUNT!
look at them gunts collide
Ugh
GUNTS
GUNTS
GUNTS GUNTS GUNTS


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Mar 31, 2021)

*Gunty* (Parody of 'Queenie' by Ethyl Meatplow)


He said streaming
Which always came late
But you sat there in boredom
He claimed it was great
As you question your sanity
Dolphin laugh refrain
One flaw about Gunty
Is a booze-addled brain

The superchats delight him
but do not satisfy
This wigger was wicked
Liver rotted and died
Viewers that once showed
Most have now gone away
Outlived his grift
All friends did betray

Fucking bitch Gunt
Fucking West Memphis Ten
Till we die till we die
Till we're dead till we're dead
Who have you chosen to sleep in your bed
Who have you chosen 
Who fucks that inbred

What has malfunctioned in Ralphie's head
Was it in his genes 
Or the way he was bred
How can our alpha Killstream be dead
Where is the Gator to make sure it's swept

Soul-crushing stream caps
Nauseating gunt flaps
Soul-crushing stream caps
Nauseating gunt flaps

Fucking bitch Gunt
Fucking West Memphis Ten
Till we die till we die
Till we're dead till we're dead


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 2, 2021)

WEST MEMPHIS QUEEN parody of Mississippi Queen by mountain

Written by Cal rollia

(Chrous)
West Memphis queen
You know what I mean
West Memphis Queen
You can hear me Seethe

(Verse 1)
Success at Youtube
Supress at trovo
Here comes the Pedo, infest the Memphis ten queen
You know she was a man
By the look of her chest

(Pre-Chorus)
While I traveled to digibros getting my ass whooped
Boy I still have little xander from the teen I groomed.

(chorus)
West Memphis queen
You know what I mean
West Memphis Queen
You can hear me Seethe

(Verse 2)
The Troon asked if I can be her man
You know what I told her
She can have my child bride
But when she left I have troon myself out

(Pre-Chorus)
While the other streamers still have their relevance
I beg your pardon I was losing mine.

(Pre-chorus)
While I traveled to digibros getting my ass whooped
Boy I still have little xander from the teen I groomed.



(Outto of Loud incoherent hollering)
OH, WEST MEMPHIS QUEEN!!


----------



## FM Bradley (Apr 6, 2021)

Here I come in Faith now, baby
With my three inch meat
Tell it's me by the odor now baby
Don't like to wash my sheets

The Kiwis laughing at my dong
They call me "troon" and "gay"
Got you in a stranglehold Fai Fai
You'll learn WHO AH AAHM today!

No undies under my britches now baby
I'm alcoholic and round
And if a bridge gets in my way baby
You know I'll burn it down

You ran the night that you left me
and my mommy's place
Had you in a stranglehold Fai-Fai
And now I got a court case

(guitar solos)

Yeah I'm gonna drink me some Maker's
My gunt is starting to bloat
Some people think they gonna die someday
Like that Arby's whore I killed in '94

Thumb up thumb up the butt
Thumb up thumb up the butt
Thumb up thumb up the butt
Thumb up thumb up the butt now baby
Thumb up thumb up the butt
Thumb up thumb up the but now baby
THUMB UP THUMB UP THE BUUUUUUTTTTTT!

I'm flaggin' vids like a bitch now
You know you can't turn me round
A trashburger gets in my way
You know I'll wolf it down
You ran the night that you left me
and my mommy's place
I had you in a stranglehold Fai Fai
I'm a fat disgrace


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 7, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> Here I come in Faith now, baby
> With my three inch meat
> Tell it's me by the odor now baby
> Don't like to wash my sheets
> ...


I'm declaring parody war, I can't be upstaged by such a masterpiece.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 7, 2021)

Song: Mr BiteSize
Parodied by Mr. Bright side
Written by Cal Rollia.


Coming out of shack im doing just fine
Going to get crack to own the alogs
It started out as a stream at la how did I end up like this

It was only a stream it was only stream!

I fell in love with a chick
She's mentally insane
While she's methed out
I'm losing my drink

Now my child bride left
And I found a troon name may
I stole her from a pedo
Now im at digi's doorway

Now, reily says I outweigh him now, who's 5'1
I can't just holler its raging me
And taking control

Jealousy, Null made a corn joke
While the world saw my small chode
took may from digibro
But it's just the karens fault
That the world saw my gunt
Horrifying the world's eyes
Cause im Mr. bite size
(X2)

Memphis 10
(X4)


----------



## FM Bradley (Apr 8, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> I'm declaring parody war, I can't be upstaged by such a masterpiece.


You'll notice he did not play "Stranglehold" in the intro today. Gunt paranoid about a thread with five participants.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 8, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> You'll notice he did not play "Stranglehold" in the intro today. Gunt paranoid about a thread with five participants.


He did?!? Lmfao. I noticed he doesn't play step by step after my parody from December.


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Apr 17, 2021)

I Don't Wanna Grow Up - by Tom Waitsaminutemattno

Sit down in my streamer chair at night
I don't wanna grow up
Almost got the starting time right
I don't wanna grow up
How do you avoid diabeetus
Just eating trashburgers
I wish I could snorkel Fuentes' hog
When I think of working a job
I don't wanna grow up
Think of Shannon beggin' for pay
I don't wanna grow up

Seems like folks turn into things
That they bitch about
I wish Daddy Jim was
still around...
I'm gonna produce a replacement cat
I don't wanna grow up
Still hang around with that Warksi twat
And I don't wanna grow up
I don't wanna holler over you
I don't want Rand to talk about Jews
I don't want to be banned from Youtube
I don't wanna be "That alt-right dude"
I don't wanna be outshined by Wu
I don't want to have to get a clue
I don't wanna grow up

Well when I'm watchin' my momma die
I don't wanna grow up
Hope I can keep her pill supply
And I don't wanna grow up
Got kicked offa my lemon site
Maybe Pantsu's ass is more tight
Blue checkmark keeps me feelin' alright
(I'll be banned soon) Woo!

When I play Alex Jones clips
I don't wanna grow up
Collect my silly little potion tips
I don't wanna grow up
Pretend I'm not from Arkansas now
No feeding the corn, I'm not a cow
I just wanna talk about Matt
Pay Sanjiv to make my app
I don't want to tell you my height
Visit Digi, have a big gunt fight
It's hard work saving the whites
I don't wanna grow up


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 28, 2021)

For this shanty I decided to go a little classical.


Song: Puttin on the vics
parody: puttin on the Ritz by Taco
Written by: Cal Rollia


If you groom a mentally unstable chick
Releasing a tape like I'm slick
Putting on the vics

Different types of Gunt Guards, like kaz and Dingo I call them simps
Putting on the Vics

I spend the show sniping Tucker Carson
Trying to be like Hunter S Thompson

Physiologically Broken


Watching the guards with Their Broomsticks
While I cuck to dlive with chopsticks
Putting on the vics


Free from my probation
Fueling my drug addiction
Too scared to stream live with dax
Too brave To scream at ugly Fats

Cucked out to the lemons
I am Multi time felon
You can't abort the retort
But you'll always see me at court


If you groom a mentally unstable chick
Releasing a tape like I'm slick
Putting on the vics

Different types of Gunt Guards, like kaz and Dingo I call them simps
Putting on the Vics

I spend the show sniping Tucker Carson
Trying to be like Hunter S Thompson
Physiologically Broken


Watching the guards with Their Broomsticks
While I cuck to dlive with chopsticks
Putting it on the vics


*Pill rattles instead of foot tabs*


I spend the show sniping Tucker Carson
Trying to be like Hunter S Thompson
Physiologically Broken
Watching the guards with Their Broomsticks

While I cuck to dlive with chopsticks
Putting  on the vics
Putting on the vics
Putting on the vics
Putting on the vicccccsssssss


Sniff sniff flag sniff flag
Shake the Fix
Putting on the Vics
Hire a hooker to stream
Spend the money on liqueur
Gunt you gotta pay to see the gunt
Gunt, dance to the guntwave
Get a miscarriage


Gotta carry that gunt
Puttin it on puttin it on
Puttin it on puttin it on
V-I-C-S


Shake the Gunt!
Shake the Gunt!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (May 22, 2021)

Not sure if its count as double posting since I was the last poster a month ago.

Song Title: Shock the Janny.
Parody of: Shock the monkey by Peter Gabriel
Writer: Cal Rollia.


Cover me, when I sweep
Cover me, through the Bans

Something woke the neet, upon my knees
Cover me, Gunty, please.

Janny, Jannieee Janny
You know better not to shock the janny
Yeah yeah

Pine to Cone
Jim to a metokur
You can't find another
What about diddler Dax

There's one thing you must be sure of
Don't make me sweep
Chat, Don't make the shanny do the janny

Hey Janny, Janney Janney
You know better not to shock the janny
Yeah yeah
Janny, the chat keeps spamming
Jannyy, I'll just keep sweeping
Janny if you don't like ill show the door

Shock
Shock
Shock

Watch the janny sweep, Janny.
Cover me, in the Everglades
Cover me, through Trader Joe's.
I know I'll never be metokur
I'm just pine cone stalker
Cover me, Gunty, please.

Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey
Janny
No money to make
Oh Janny
My rent is past the due date
Janny
 My Broom is breaking

Sweep
Sweep
Sweep

Watch the Janny sweep, Janny.

Shock the Janny
Shock the Janny
Shock the Janny

Shock the Shanny to Sweep
Shock the Shanny to Sweep
Shock the Shanny to Sweep
Shock the Shanny to Sweep

Gaydur, Gaydur, Gaydur
(Shock The Janny to Sweep)
(Shock the Janny to Sweep)
Gaydur, Gaydur, Gaydur Shock The Janny!
(Shock the Janny to Sweep)
Gaydur, Gaydur, Gaydur Shock The Janny!
Gaydur, Gaydur, Gaydur Shock The Janny!
Gaydur, Gaydur, Gaydur Shock The Janny!
Shock the Janny to Sweep.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (May 29, 2021)

Happy Birthday DEMON BABY here's a offering to the harvest

song: All the Guntlings
Parody: All the Small Things
Writer: Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
All the Guntlings
Bad genes, cope seethes
Alogs take one look
Inlaws Are shook
At the abomination
It should've been a abortion
Destruction, demolition and Annihilation

(Chorus)
Say it ain't so, say it's not true
Let's fucking go, Carry that Gunt

(Post-chorus)
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na

(Verse 2)
Bad parents, so curel
My genes fucked, I know
My dad left me for makers Mark
You can say my life is at a bad start

(Chorus)
Say it ain't so, say it's not true
Let's fucking go, Carry that Gunt

Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na
Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, an

(Chorus)
I'm the demon baby, my mother is fucking crazy
(Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na)
I come for the Harvest, my dad eats garbage
(Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na)
Say it ain't so, say it's not poo
Let's fucking go, Carry that Gunt
(Na na, na na, na na, na na, na, na)
I'm the demon baby, im the demon baby
My mom is fucking crazy


----------



## Cucktry Roads (May 30, 2021)

Baby Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Baby Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Baby Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Baby Gunt

Mummy Faith doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Mummy Faith doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Mummy Faith doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Mummy Faith

Daddy Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Daddy Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Daddy Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Daddy Gunt

RIP Grandma Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
RIP Grandma Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
RIP Grandma Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
RIP Grandma Gunt

Maker’s Mark doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Maker’s Mark doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Maker’s Mark doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Maker’s Mark

Let's go gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Let's go gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Let's go gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Let's go gunt

Child support doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Child support doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Child support doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Child support

Away from Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Away from Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Away from Gunt doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Away from Gunt


----------



## RichardRApe (Jun 2, 2021)

In the style of *Peaches *by the *Presidents of the United States of America*
Shout out to the Ocean of Wine for the inspiration








						Peaches - The Presidents of the United States of America
					

The music video to the famous song Peaches. And just for everyone's information, These guys are still around. Hunt down their albums, you wont be disappointed




					www.youtube.com
				




Movin' to the guntry,
Gonna eat a lot of feces
I'm movin' to the guntry,
I'm gonna eat me a lot of feces
Movin' to the guntry,
Gonna eat a lot of feces
Movin' to the guntry,
I'm gonna eat a lot of feces

Feces come from her can,
They get shit out by a ma’am
Satisfactorily brown

If I thumbed up Mantsu May,
I'd eat feces every day
Carbunkled smegma in the shade

I'm movin' to the guntry,
I'm gonna eat me a lot of feces
Movin' to the guntry,
I'm gonna eat me a lot of feces

Movin' to the guntry,
Gonna eat me a lot of feces
Movin' to the guntry,
I'm gonna eat me a lot of feces

I took a little shat where the poops all shit
Licking rotten feces in my fist
And I wish you were a, woman,
I stuck muh poop thumb down inside
Make a little room for a shat to hide
Nature's candy in my hand or can or pie

Millions of feces, feces for me
Millions of feces, feces for free
Millions of feces, feces for me
Millions of feces, feces for free

Look out!

Millions of feces, feces for me
Millions of feces, feces for free
Millions of feces, feces for me
Millions of feces, feces for free

Look out!


----------



## Shiggy Diggster (Jul 6, 2021)

We sweep the chat at night
we go where ayylawgs dare
they know that i'm a virgin
they think that i'm a loser
with lazy eyes for peepers
you think i really care

I am a eagle eyed son bitch
gonna moderate you baby
i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby, babe

puerto rican sluts get horny over trash
don't let that hussy blonde distract you from your task

i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby
i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby baby

let's test my word filters
let's see how long you last
with no booze or drugs or girls
my mind is a steel trap
with eagle eyes for peepers
you think I really care
let's go where ayylawgs dare
we'll sweep up ayylawgs there

i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby
i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby baby
i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby
i am an eagle eyed son of a bitch
gonna moderate you baby baby


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jul 12, 2021)

Working on a few projects, stay tune shanties.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jul 17, 2021)

Gunt of Personality
Parody of Cult of Personality by Living Colour
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Look in my Gunt, what do you see?
The Gunt personality
I know your fear, I know when to sweep
I've been the addict you want to be
I'm a gunt of personality
Like Jarbo and Carl
I'm the Gunt of Personality, The gunt of personality, The gunt of personality

(Chorus)
Tampon Breath, Brink of Death
Then a Liquor Speaks, the Dolphin Squeaks
You don't have to drink with me
No one can't abort the retort

(Verse 2)
I tell you gunts a crowd
I'm the Gunt of Personality
Like Mao Zedong and Jinping
I'm the gunt of personality
The gunt of personality, The gunt of personality, The gunt of personality

(Chorus)
Tampon Breath, brink of death
A groomer Gunt, And a coomers Cunt
You don't have to drink with me.
Only you can't abort the retort.

(outro)
I flag your channel
I've known for scandals
My self inflated ego so fragile
I'm every person you need me to be
I'm the gunt of, I'm the gunt of, I'm the gunt of, I'm the gunt of, I'm the gunt of, I'm the gunt of, i'm the gunt of Personality.


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Jul 28, 2021)

Here's one for Josh.





I told a corn joke
Which started a fat sperg seething
But I didn't see
For how long he'd reee, oh no

I had a podcast
Which started a gator sweeping
Oh, if only I'd seen
That the aylawg was me

I looked at my herbs
Tried to drown out the cooing of birds
And I fell out of bed
Hurting my head from the doings of speds

'Til I finally died
Which started young Xander living
Oh, if only I'd seen
What an aylawg he'd be

I looked at my herbs
Tried to drown out the cooing of birds
And I fell out of bed
Hurting my head from the doings of speds

'Til I finally died
Which started young Xander living
Oh, if only I'd seen
What an aylawg he'd be


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Aug 2, 2021)

As a celebration of Vickers getting full custody of baby Xander here is a shanty.

Song: Toss your coin to Mr. Vickers

Parody of Toss a Coin to your Witcher by Giona Ostinelli

(Verse 1)
When a trolli bard
Began to Alog
With Vickers of Cali
Who started his Own blog
When the Spreg fought the Gunt of Vrigina
With a neet janny lacking of Charisma
He came out seething, asking to sweep
With guards wreathing fetching to weep
The Coin Merchant trying to get fame
But fortunately he got his faith.


(Chorus)
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
Oh seethe of plenty, seethe of plenty. Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
Oh seethe of plenty, seethe of plenteeeeeeeee

(Verse 2)
With the Birth of Xander
The gunt can only holler
While the goose comes the Grander
He lives in squalor
With the Pedo Horse
This tale can't get any worse
Now back in cali with a family whole
He will slay the gunt
While he chase for clout
Successfully aborted the retort
So can we stop the fuss
The Trolli told the Tale of a flawed merchant
This Harvest will grow that I'm Certain

(Chorus)

Toss your coin to Mr Vickers, ol typos of plenty ol typos of plenty oooh toss your coin to Mr Vickers the ender of janniess
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
Oh seethe of plenty, seethe of plenty oh
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
seethe of plenteeeeeeeee
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
Oh seethe of plenty, seethe of plenty oh
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
seethe of plenteeeeeeeee
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
Oh seethe of plenty, seethe of plenty a-oh
Toss your coin to Mr Vickers
seethe of plenteeeeeeeee










						Toss A Coin To Your Witcher (Lyrics / Lyric Video) [Jaskier Song]
					

Toss A Coin To Your Witcher (Lyrics / Lyric Video) [Jaskier Song]► Stream Toss A Coin To Your Witcher: https://soundcloud.com/giona_ostinelli/toss-a-coin-to-...




					youtu.be


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 13, 2021)

I have been rejuvenated to post more parodies since the anniversary of my ban. Let the kino flow


Parody of Heroes written by David Bowie
Written by Cal Rollia

(Chorus)
I, I will be a stalker
And you, you will be the Harvest
Though nothing will stop the seethe
We can sneed, just for one day
We can be Alogs just for one day

(Verse 1)
And you, you'll be blocked
And I, I'll be sniping of the stream
Cause we're karens, and that's all we know
Cause we're karens, and that's a good combo.

(Refrain)
Though nothing, Will keep us from Sniping
We could, just for one day
We can be alogs, for ever and ever
What do you think?

(Verse 2)
I, I wish I could holler
All day, all fucking day

(Refrain)
Though nothing, nothing will keep is from sniping
We can outlive them, for ever and ever
Oh we cam be slots, just for one day

(Verse 3)

I, I will be a stalker
And you, you will be the Harvest
Though nothing will stop them from being late and gay
We can be Alogs just for one day
We can be us, just for one day


(Verse 3)
I, I can alog (I can alog)
Writing, the parodies (the parodies)
Being swept, by the jannies (the jannies)
And the harvest
We get from a multi time felon
(From a multi time felon)


(Refrain)

And the sneed, from the guards
Oh, we can beat them, for ever and ever
Then we could be alogs, just for one day


(Bridge,)

We can be alogs
We can be alogs
We can be alogs
Just for one day
We can be alogs


(Outro)

We're nothing, nothing will help us
Maybe, we are in horror of may
But we can hope xander will be safer, just for one day.
Oh-oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-oh-ohh, just for one day


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 15, 2021)

Feeling Felted
Parody of Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie
Written by Cal Rollia

Intro

Mmm num ba de
Dum buh ba be
Doo buh Dum ba beh beh

(Verse 1)
Felted
Seething down on me
Doubling down on you, no kiwi ask for
Feeling felted makes a pastor dab
While a gunted man threatens to stab

(Bridge)
Um be ba de
Um be ba be
De day da
Ee day da - that's okay

(Chorus)
It's the Corn is rising at the potential Necter
Hearing some Fat Drunk shout "It's Not True!"
Seethe Harder, Laugh Louder
Watch a pastor dab
While a Gunt Stab

(Verse 2)
Day day De mm my
Da ba da ba
Okay
The kiwi farms always wins
The Lolcows have to pay for their sins
We do be do
Ee da baa ba ba
Um no bo
Be lap
The cows always seethe
Ee da de da de
The cows always seethe
Ee da de da de da

(Chorus)
It's the Corn is rising at the potential Necter
Hearing some Neet Samurai shout "It's bad Optics!"
Seethe Harder, Laugh Louder louder
Watch a pastor dab
While a Gunt Stab

(Bridge)
We took a break on sniping
The gunt can't handle it he's typing
The damage control isn't working
He's the gift that keeps on giving q
With the way he seethes why
Why seethe seethe seethe seethe seethe
Enterally coping Feeling Felted

(Verse 3)
Why can't ralphy put down the makers
Why can't ralphy fight for his xander
Why does he keep on sweeping
Why can't stop seething seething, seething, seething, seething, seething, seething seething, seething, seething, seething

(Outro)
Cause felted is such the new coping word
And Ashton dares you to care for your son xander and pay gaydur. And punt the gunt to try stop being a drunk and the seething makes you holler at the screen and this is your last drink, this is our dance this is yourself, Feeling Felted.
feeling Felted.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 19, 2021)

The LONG AWAITED, happy birthday faith vickers.

Swallowing up the pill
Parody of Running up that hill by Kate Bush
Written by Cal Rollia.

(Verse 1)
It's doesn't felt me.
(Yeah yeah yo)
Do you want to how the pills feel
(Yeah yeah yo)
Do you want to know that the gunt has hurt me
Do you want to know why Halfwaycuck flee
(Yeah yeah yooo)
You, it's Xander and me

Chorus
You know I'm a cunt
I ran away from the gunt
And I save Xander from pantsu
Be chugging that booze
Be shallowing that pill
With them tiny shoes.
If only I listened, oh...


(2nd verse)
You don't wanna choke me,
But see how could the gunt suffocate
Aware I'm screaming like a banshee
There's seething in our hearts.
Is there so much cope for the alogs
Tell me, not to abort xander
You, it's xander and me
It's you that won't be happy

(Chorus)
You know I'm a cunt
I ran away from the gunt
And I save xander from pantsu
Be chugging that booze
Be shallowing that pill
With them tiny shoes.
(YOOOOBBBAAAAA)
If only I listened, oh...

(Bridge)
You, it's xander and me
It's you that won't be happy
"C'mon Faifai, c'mon zoomer girl"
Come help me own the alogs
Come on fai-fai, come on come on darling
Lets do this hostage video, oh.......

(Chorus)
You know I'm a cunt
I ran away from the gunt
And I save xander from pantsu
Be chugging that booze
Be shallowing that pill
With no problems. (X4 with inchorent seething and coping)

(Outro)
"You know I'm a cunt, be shallowing them pills"


----------



## LordOdin (Sep 21, 2021)

So you all have been over representing Ralph someone has to think of the Gatorgang. So i used the uçk also known as the kosovo liberation army to form the gator gang.









						Marshi I UÇK (Albanian War Song)
					

Oj Kosovë o djep lirie Çdo kulm shpie nji bajarak UÇK-ëja t'paska hije Për atdhe po derdhed gjak Po luftojnë djemtë e Kosovës Prej Drenice n'mal t'Gjakovës (...




					youtu.be
				




OH greatest of Gator Gamers, fucker of puerto rican blondes.
Operator of the soundboard,call Josh a peadophile again.

He is the Killstreams devoted janny cleaning up the naughty chat x2

He wont get the vaccination, he is already autistic. He will always lick Ralphs gunt crease feeding on the booze and fat.

HE WILL JAAANNNYYYYY.
FUCK THE KIWIIIIIIS.
RALPH DIDN'T JACK TO SOOOOOPH.
IT'S NOT TRUEEHUEEEE.

This is the only life i have, for ralph i'll give my dying breath x2

Joshua Connor Mooooon, youre a peadophiiiile.
Now i'll watch soooome loli poooorn.

This is the only life i have, for Ralph i'll give my dying breath.

GATOR GANG REPRESENT.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 25, 2021)

Elderfag Rock

Parody of Crocodile Rock by Elton John

Written by Cal Rollia and @Shiggy Diggster


(Verse 1)
I remember when the Killstream was Fun
When Zidan had Matt on the Run
Shanny playing the soundboard
Spamming the chat with my own keyboard
But the biggest fad that had start
The thing called the Elderfag rock
You got Racha and Eli alogging around the clock
and cow and Ziggy invading that block

(Chorus)

Gator Grooming is not shocking
When his Broom can't keep still
Telling pinecone that andy doesn't have to know
Ah Lawdy Shanny couldn't sweep Pho
Seething with the restless nights
Trying to make jim flag kap outta spite


(Post-Chorus)

Laa, la-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa


(Verse 2)

But the years went by and the broom wore down
Shanny had a stroke when his dox were found
Jared crying like a roughly Thumbed Teen
Losing so hard to a middle aged ween
But they'll never kill the thrills he got
Sweeping up to the elderfag rock slaving away for a big fat ass
I really thought the elderfag rock would last


(Chorus)

Gator Grooming is not shocking
When his Broom can't keep still
Telling pinecone that andy doesn't have to know
Ah Lawdy Shanny couldn't sweep Pho
Seething with the restless nights
Trying to make jim flag kap outta spite


(Post-Chorus)

Laa, la-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa


(Verse 1)
I remember when the Killstream was Fun
When Zidan had Matt on the Run
Shanny playing the soundboard
Spamming the chat with my own keyboard
But the biggest fad that had start
The thing called the Elderfag rock
You got Racha and Eli alogging around the clock
and cow and Ziggy invading that block

(Chorus)

Gator Grooming is not shocking
When his Broom can't keep still
Telling pinecone that andy doesn't have to know
Ah Lawdy Shanny couldn't sweep Pho
Seething with the restless nights
Trying to make jim flag kap outta spite


(Post-Chorus)

Laa, la-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa
La-la-la-la-laa









						Elton John - Crocodile Rock (Lyrics)
					

I take requests just comment!Artist: Elton JohnSong: Crocodile RockAlbum: Don't Shoot Me I'm Only The Piano PlayerYear: 1973Follow Elton John:Myspace: https:...




					youtu.be


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 25, 2021)

Parody of sweet dreams (are made of this) by the Eurythmics
Written by Cal Rollia

(Chorus)
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something

(Prechorus)
Some of them want to cope
Some of them want you to cope
Some of them want to get leaks
Some of them want to drop leaks

(Chorus)
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something

(Bridge)
Keep on seethin
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin
Keep on seethin, get the broom
Keep on seethin, get the broom

Prechorus)
Some of them want to cope
Some of them want you to cope
Some of them want to get leaks
Some of them want to drop leaks

(Chorus)
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something
Sweet sweeps are made of seethee
Who am to I to disagree
I've traveled to Fourms and the threads
Alogs always lookin for something


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 25, 2021)

Little Lols
Parody of Little talks by Monsters and Men
Written by Cal Rollia

(Refrain)
Hey, hey, hey

(Verse 1)
I don't like how libertarians being a creep
So that why don't watch dax my dear
So many sheep like dingo & rand
It's keeping me to comment
By the sweeping done by Shannon
Banned on discord keeping me to talk
Its making me want to alog
'Cause there's many pedos like mr. Girl & dax
While Vito is defending them

(Refrain)
Hey, hey, hey

(Verse 2)
There's no reason that the gunt ban me from the green room
Well, tell the kiwis that I miss our little lols
Soon the guntling inside of pantsu will miscarry from the womb
We used to enjoy the live Halals that was full of cope and full of sneed.
Sometimes, I don't know its worth giving it a snipe
But the harvest will be ripe, my dear.
Cause there's groomers like pantsu and shanny but its worth getting the sweep.

(Chorus)
Hey! Please read the chat
Hey! let us alog you
Hey! Cause there's groomers like pantsu and shanny but its worth getting the sweep.

(Bridge)
You sweep, sweeep, away
I hear the deadair
All that's left is the guntguards typing away
Now that you're seething, seething away
That your channel is in despair
Just let the alogs free in the chat
Now wait, wait, wait for me; to write the parodies
I'm sure ill make you seethe

(Chorus)
Hey! Please read the chat
Hey! let us alog you
Cause there's many pedos like mr. Girl & dax
While Vito is defending them
Hey! Please read the chat
Hey! let us alog you
Hey! Cause there's groomers like pantsu and shanny but its worth getting the sweep.
Hey! Cause there's groomers like pantsu and shanny but its worth getting the sweep.
Cause there's many pedos like mr. Girl & dax
While Vito is defending them


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 25, 2021)

I would alog 4 you
Parody of I would die 4 you by Prince
Written by Cal Rollia

I'm not your paypig
I'm not your janny
I am something
That Would get you in a frenzy
I'll never get you views
I only snipe
I'll never give you the reason why

'Cos you
I would alog for you
Cause there's many ops I wouldn't do
I would alog for you

I write shannys
For the many
I am the reason why you I have to sweep
No need to seethe
No way to creep
I'm your nightmare and you're the reason why

'Cos you
I would alog for you
Cause there's many ops I wouldn't do
I would alog for you

I'm the reason why you sweep
Putting viewers to sleep
You could ban me from discord
I would live on my own accord
I'm not a human I'm a alog
No matter how many entries you'll write on your blog
All I really need
Is I know that you'll seethe

"Yeah"
You, I would alog 4 you
Cause there's many ops I wouldn't do
I would alog for you

"2,3,4, you"

I would alog 4 you
I would alog 4 you
You, I would alog 4 you
You, I would alog 4 you


----------



## Hüftpriester (Sep 26, 2021)

I thought it would only be right parody a song about a tranny for Pantsu. So here it is, original is obviously Lola by the Kinks.

I met her in a club down in old Guntsville
Where you drink makers mark and you mix it with coca cola
C-O-L-A, Cola

She walked up to me and I shat my pants
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Mantsu
M-A-N-T, Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Well, I've got the world's most foul-smelling gunt
But when she held me tight, she did not throw up
Oh my Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Well, I'm kinda dumb and I can't understand
Why she talks like a woman but looks like a man
Oh my Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Well, we drank makers mark and thumbed all night
Under Gator's watchful eye
She picked me up and sat me on her knee
And said "Dear boy, won't you come home with me?"

Well, I'm not the world's most passionate guy
But when she bought me fries, well I almost fell for my Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

I pushed her away
I walked to the door
I tried to buy a whore
I started to SNEED
Then I looked at her and she at me

Well, that's the way that I want it to stay
And I always want it to be that way for my Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world, just look at Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Well, I left my hovel just a week before
And I've only eaten the feces of whores
But Mantsu smiled and took me by the hand
And said "Dear boy, I'm gonna make you a man"

Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu

Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu
Ma-ma-ma-ma Mantsu


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 5, 2021)

With @WhimsicalTrolli's help we wrote and recorded the hit new track A Total Eclipse of the Shart.

*A Total Eclipse of the Shart*

(Turning Brown)
Every now and then I look at twitter and see I’m a-logged all around
(Turning Brown)
Every now and then I’m psychologically broken I’m getting spit on by all of my peers
(Turning Brown) 
Every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of killstream years have gone by
(Turning Brown)
Every now and then I get little excited when I see a burger right on the ground

(Make That Sound, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I’m gonna fart
(Make That Sound, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I rip a shart

(Turning Brown)
Every now and then my horse faced fiance is creepy masturbating to CP
(Turning Brown)
Every now and then my only friend in this world’s a weaboo incel smells like cheese
(Turning Brown)
Every now and then I wish I got vacccinated instead of Momma dying alone
(Turning Brown)
Every now and then I wish wasn’t a midget with a drinking problem and kidney stones

(Make That Sound, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I’m gonna fart
(Make That Sound, Brown Eye)
Every now and then I rip a shart

And I pushed too hard that night
And I pushed as hard as ever
And I had my pants too tight
It’s on the internets forever
And the a-logs will never forget
Josh Moon always is wrong
I’ll burn every fucking bridge far and wide
Even bastardized my son just to spite the child bride (Fuck You Child Bride)
I don’t know what to do and I’m always ripping sharts
An alcoholic powder keg my asshole’s the spark
I’m really seething tonight
Rekieta’s gonna start a fight
Drexel’s gonna fuck his wife 

Once upon a time Jim called into my show
An alogs vid he gave perfect marks
Since Ronnie’s turned me gay
Whenever I’m tipsy I shart 

Once upon a time Nora lighted my life
My tampon breath has pulled us apart
You know it’s not poo
A Total Eclipse of the shart





your_browser_is_not_able_to_play_this_audio


----------



## Cucktry Roads (Oct 7, 2021)

For anyone who didn't see it.


----------



## NigKid (Oct 7, 2021)

Jup Sounds about how I expected
Weirdly appropriate


----------



## naaaaiiiiillllll!!! (Oct 7, 2021)

This makes me want to _Turn around_...


----------



## GigaOPC (Oct 7, 2021)

Who's the guy in the glasses in the I love black dick shirt


----------



## Phalanges Mycologist (Oct 7, 2021)

_That's fucking amazing. _


----------



## Boyfriend Coefficient (Oct 7, 2021)

GigaOPC said:


> Who's the guy in the glasses in the I love black dick shirt


The only man who ever hurt Ralph more (by thumbing him when he was a wee lad)


----------



## Oughtism (Oct 7, 2021)

What I wouldn't pay to see that faggot watching this for the first time. Seething overload.


----------



## 仙草茶 (Oct 7, 2021)

Bonnie Tyler and all Welsh citizens salute these brave souls for their musical contribution!


----------



## ShiftyBoi (Oct 7, 2021)

We're going full Brett Keane here. People are making art about his circus of a life.

Just give up, dude.


----------



## Looney Troons (Oct 7, 2021)

Jesus Christ.


----------



## Casval Rem Deikun (Oct 7, 2021)

Angry Gunt tweets incoming!


----------



## Doppio Vinegar (Oct 7, 2021)

My cat threw up on the ground while I had this playing in the background. The shart echoes through many different species.


----------



## Red_Cap (Oct 7, 2021)

I wasn't expecting anything before Jarbo put something out but this is a pleasant surprise


----------



## Jew Lover 1488 (Oct 7, 2021)

Better than the original


----------



## Trigger Me Timbers (Oct 7, 2021)

Casval Rem Deikun said:


> Angry Gunt tweets incoming!


----------



## DiggieSmalls (Oct 7, 2021)

I feel the muse. I got a lot of recording equipment I haven’t used in a while. Making Ralph edits about him shitting himself would be great


----------



## The Lizard Queen (Oct 7, 2021)

Incredible.
An absolute masterpiece.

Now, when shall we have the full stage musical?


----------



## Justtocheck (Oct 7, 2021)

Ralph is mentioned in the front page again. Yaay. Thread reminder that he's packing small heat.



Spoiler: tini peepee


----------



## Iamthatis (Oct 7, 2021)

This _is _beautiful it really speaks to me.  This song saved my life!


----------



## Particle Bored (Oct 7, 2021)

As one that fancies themselves a sometimes parody songwriter, they really missed an opportunity by not including "My butt's so full of poo, I totally shit when I fart." (alternate: "Breathe it in, Pantsu.")


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 7, 2021)

It's nice this thread is getting the love it deserves.


----------



## JethroTullamore (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


10/10


----------



## Pepe Silvia (Oct 7, 2021)

Justtocheck said:


> Thread reminder that he's packing small heat.


Why did I click on that? I have immediate regret. Guess next someone needs to make a song about how his pecker is eclipsed by his gunt.


----------



## Sammich (Oct 7, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> It's nice this thread is getting the love it deserves.


You carried it for a good while there bud, You've given me a few good chuckles!


----------



## NynchLiggers (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Great parody, but unfortunately it's idea is too unrealistic, considering Ralph's IQ is too low to have a moment of self-awareness.


----------



## AnOminous (Oct 7, 2021)

Boyfriend Coefficient said:


> The only man who ever hurt Ralph more (by thumbing him when he was a wee lad)


The man who gave him his incontinent goatse.


----------



## Fandom Trash (Oct 7, 2021)

This will go great for my lolcow playlist.


----------



## Gone Ham (Oct 7, 2021)

Spotify upload when?


----------



## Grotesque Bushes (Oct 7, 2021)

The farty trumpet is a masterstroke, a true maker's mark you could say.


----------



## Minecraft Axolotl (Oct 7, 2021)

Reminds me of south park


----------



## Distant Ranger (Oct 7, 2021)

Bohemian Brapsody when?


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 7, 2021)

Distant Ranger said:


> Bohemian Brapsody when?


Already done by another band.


----------



## HomerSimpson (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


So mocking. Beautiful. It really is just his best mistakes over and over. God I hope he hears it and can't ignore talking about it.


----------



## Evan_Wynn_D (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


This is so autistic, I love it. Someone really needed to do a song like this on Ralph. If you're a Ralph fan, then let's do something Ralph related. There are some songs that Ralph would love. Let's bring the old Ralph back and have us have Ralph sing some of his old songs.


----------



## donjulio (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


This is the worst thing I've heard in a long time.

Now make another one.


----------



## Mr. Manchester (Oct 7, 2021)

lol, Ralph shit his pants

Nice song boys


----------



## Celebrate Nite (Oct 7, 2021)

Surprised it wasn't archived yet




Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## UnLimiTed-Lbs (Oct 7, 2021)

SSF2T Old User said:


> Surprised it wasn't archived yet
> View attachment 2606402


No doubt Ralph will flag down the original link for cyber bullying, Matt Jarbo style.


----------



## Jack Awful (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Very unfunny and poorly sang. 2/10.

EDIT: Don't accept garbage entertainment just because it validates your worldview. That's how people like Ralph get popular in the first place.


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

It must be some kind of symptom that autists can't carry a tune to save their fucking lives.

EDIT: lmao it literally is   https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29957553/


----------



## FM Bradley (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It must be some kind of symptom that autists can't carry a tune to save their fucking lives.


Yes because Ethan Oliver Ralph is a guy you want to give your best performance for.


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Lmao, look at @Vetti the nerd talking about anime star wars like a Shannon Gaines wannabe at 1:45.


----------



## BULLY HUNTER_77 (Oct 7, 2021)

Not my cup of tea but it will traumatize the gunt so it's a net positive.


----------



## Sriracha (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Lmao, look at @Vetti the nerd talking about anime star wars like a Shannon Gaines wannabe at 1:45.
> View attachment 2606476


Imagine your love of watching anime star wars on Disney+ being immortalised in gunt memes


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> Yes because Ethan Oliver Ralph is a guy you want to give your best performance for.


It must be wonderful to be tone deaf.

It's almost a banal superpower, like not being able to smell body odor or something.


----------



## BigTubboWithLittleChina (Oct 7, 2021)

He has a miniscule weapon
He wanks over horsey-faced thots
A podcaster who's such a fat cunt
The man with the flaccid gunt


----------



## MeltyTW (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It must be some kind of symptom that autists can't carry a tune to save their fucking lives.


yeah fucking stupid retards dont even know a fucking fart isnt an instrument @RichardRApe get told faggot.


----------



## Angry Shoes (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Red flannel season


----------



## Glowie (Oct 7, 2021)

In absence of Chris weens migrate to other cows.

Read this in voice David attenborough


----------



## Boyfriend Coefficient (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Lmao, look at @Vetti the nerd talking about anime star wars like a Shannon Gaines wannabe at 1:45.
> View attachment 2606476


Shannon tier tastes captured forever in Gunt memery. Wonder which Discord server hugbox your crying about this in @Vetti


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Glowie said:


> In absence of Chris weens migrate to other cows.
> 
> Read this in voice David attenborough


I've never trolled or followed Chris Chan ever, I'm not a pedophile.


----------



## Marissa Moira (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


10/10


----------



## Glowie (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> I've never trolled or followed Chris Chan ever, I'm not a pedophile.



Why respond to me of all people? Others had legitimate questions, my shit post was that.

Please answer questions of confused kiwis, thank you.


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Glowie said:


> Why respond to me of all people? Others had legitimate questions, my shit post was that.
> 
> Please answer questions of confused kiwis, thank you.


What questions? I have never, am not and will never follow anything CWC does outside of the shit that makes it to the mainstream. I am not a pedophile. I just want it on the record. People can listen to the song and realize there's nothing out of tune, even the farts are in key.


----------



## John Carmack (Oct 7, 2021)

Shart aches by the numbers
Fuck ups by the score
Every day I fuck up less
Next day I fuck up more
Yes, I've got shart aches by the numbers
In life I just can't win
But the the day that I stop drinking
That's the day my world will end









						Guy Mitchell - Heartache by the Numbers 50s
					

Guy Mitchell Heartache by the Numbers german cover version:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coJRbKpiQOk50s 50er 60s 60er




					youtu.be


----------



## Boyfriend Coefficient (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> CWC


The only CWC worth following is Culture War Criminal


----------



## Vetti (Oct 7, 2021)

Sriracha said:


> Imagine your love of watching anime star wars on Disney+ being immortalised in gunt memes


I swear it was copy paste from something said earlier in the chat. I don't like anime or Star Wars.


----------



## Boyfriend Coefficient (Oct 7, 2021)

Vetti said:


> I swear it was copy paste from something said earlier in the chat. I don't like anime or Star Wars.


cope and sneed, discord tranny


----------



## Ralphamale (Oct 7, 2021)

Glowie said:


> In absence of Chris weens migrate to other cows.
> 
> Read this in voice David attenborough


Chris Chan fans can't handle the alphaness of the Ralphamales. 


Boyfriend Coefficient said:


> The only CWC worth following is Culture War Criminal
> View attachment 2606564


Dick Tracey saving the west one america first event at a time.


----------



## veri (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Lmao, look at @Vetti the nerd talking about anime star wars like a Shannon Gaines wannabe at 1:45.
> View attachment 2606476





uh oh @Vetti didn’t like that 
how about sweep it up like a good janny if you’re gonna act like a wannabe shannon gaines


----------



## Aqua Panda (Oct 7, 2021)

10/10

Best trolling/shitposting content I've seen in some time. I'd pay good money to see Ralph go critical when he sees this for the first time.


----------



## TrippinKahlua (Oct 7, 2021)

This reminds me of the song I wrote about Jace to the tune of “I’ve never knew love like this before.”


----------



## HumanHive (Oct 7, 2021)

“An Alcoholic powderkeg, my asshole’s the spark” is such a good line.


----------



## Burd Turglar (Oct 7, 2021)

Personally, I would have gone for "When I think about Null, I shart myself" or maybe a take on cold as ice but it's called warm as shart. 

But that's just me.


----------



## MadStan (Oct 7, 2021)

There really its no reaction or badge you can give to someone for going the distance to make this.

It gives KF credentials to see a troll of this sophistication. I am humbled.


----------



## evilsponge (Oct 7, 2021)

John Carmack said:


> Shart aches by the numbers
> Fuck ups by the score
> Every day I fuck up less
> Next day I fuck up more
> ...


The smell
Of shit
Is in
Your pants
A sound
Your groan
Can't disguise


----------



## Captain Chromosome (Oct 7, 2021)

John Carmack said:


> Shart aches by the numbers
> Fuck ups by the score
> Every day I fuck up less
> Next day I fuck up more
> ...


You made my drunk ass laugh, so here's this as thanks.
Gunt Mitchell - Shart-aches by the number


----------



## Spergichu (Oct 7, 2021)

Looking forward to hearing this on stream tomorrow.


----------



## Laquisha Guntermensch (Oct 7, 2021)

Captain Chromosome said:


> You made my drunk ass laugh, so here's this as thanks.
> Gunt Mitchell - Shart-aches by the number


We need a full Kiwi congregation for a sing-a-long @Captain Chromosome!  Mighty good performance sir, bravo.


----------



## Carbonation Grimace (Oct 7, 2021)

Lol at the retards in this thread in a fit because the parody didn't have Weird-Al levels of production or talent.

Learn to sneed.


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

Carbonation Grimace said:


> Lol at the retards in this thread in a fit because the parody didn't have Weird-Al levels of production or talent.


Dude already had the backing track and the microphone.  Literally all that's missing is the _ordinary human capacity to distinguish pitch._

But again, that's a skill notably lacking among the severely autistic.


----------



## Internet War Criminal (Oct 7, 2021)

This is the very definition of cringe, and any of you faggot who thinks is awesome are fucking shameful.


----------



## Boyfriend Coefficient (Oct 7, 2021)

Burd Turglar said:


> When I think about Null, I shart myself


That would just be untrue though. Ralph loves peadophiles, he's marrying one.


----------



## Cow Poly (Oct 7, 2021)

Can you fucking faggets stop derailing the thread? Write a gunt song or fuck off


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> Dude already had the backing track and the microphone.  Literally all that's missing is the _ordinary human capacity to distinguish pitch._
> 
> But again, that's a skill notably lacking among the severely autistic.


I found the sheet music and played all the instruments, you don't know what tone deaf means. You're just trying to sound smarter than you actually are. You're allowed to not like it, but when you say things that are verifiably untrue like it's not on pitch or it's not in rhythm it just makes you look like a retard. We get it, you don't like it. No problem.


----------



## Gay Mouth (Oct 7, 2021)

Confirmed for seethe


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 7, 2021)

Bunch a faggots trying to ruin a fun thread that I pave the way and got banned so others can let their parodies thrive. Just enjoy the thread, write a thread or fuck off. Thanks for all the people coming to the thread though.


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> verifiably untrue like it's not on pitch


If you can listen to that and legitimately think it's on pitch, you're absolutely, clinically, verifiably tone deaf.









						ToneDeafTest.com - Find out if you are tone deaf or not
					

If you are worried you might be tone deaf, take this Tone Deaf Test. The test measures your pitch sensitivity and tells you whether you are tone deaf or not.




					tonedeaftest.com


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Internet War Criminal said:


> This is the very definition of cringe, and any of you faggot who thinks is awesome are fucking shameful.









Your browser is not able to display this video.





Matt Damon said:


> If you can listen to that and legitimately think it's on pitch, you're absolutely, clinically, verifiably tone deaf.


You're dumb af.


----------



## Burd Turglar (Oct 7, 2021)

Cow Poly said:


> Can you fucking faggets stop derailing the thread? Write a gunt song or fuck off


How about a tribute to CCR, "Shartin' through the Bugles"?


----------



## SargonF00t (Oct 7, 2021)

Literally all of Whimsical Trolli's songs in the first few pages of this thread would also be great, if given the same treatment as "Total Eclipse of the Shart".


----------



## FM Bradley (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> If you can listen to that and legitimately think it's on pitch, you're absolutely, clinically, verifiably tone deaf.
> 
> *
> 
> ...


*YOU DUMB FUCKING SHIT IT'S PARODY AND GUNT ISN'T WORTH PITCH CORRECTION. PULL THE FIDGET SPINNER OFF YOUR DICK AND QUIT CHEWING THROUGH YOUR STEPMOTHER'S CARPET YOU AUTISTIC SHITDICK*


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> *YOU DUMB FUCKING SHIT IT'S PARODY AND GUNT ISN'T WORTH PITCH CORRECTION. PULL THE FIDGET SPINNER OFF YOUR DICK AND QUIT CHEWING THROUGH YOUR STEPMOTHER'S CARPET YOU AUTISTIC SHITDICK*


Okay.  But that's not what the other guy is claiming.

He's claiming it's in tune, which is verifiably false for anyone with functional ears and superior arcuate fasciculus.


----------



## FM Bradley (Oct 7, 2021)

Please, Josh, never feature another Guntpost, this is the human flotsam it attracts.  People worse than Gunt board regulars.


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> Okay.  But that's not what the other guy is claiming.
> 
> He's claiming it's in tune, which is verifiably false for anyone with functional ears and superior arcuate fasciculus.


Get Rekt tranny. Keep seething I'll keep picking up Ws!


It literally is in tune. Time stamp the part of the song and the lyric that's out of tune. Wait, you can't, because you're nigger.


----------



## Jack Awful (Oct 7, 2021)

There's Ralph parody songs that are legit good songs, are funny, AND have been confirmed to make Ralph seethe.

Don't lower your standards because you're thirsty for a W.


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Time stamp the part of the song and the lyric that's out of tune. Wait, you can't, because you're nigger.


It's not a single note or section.  It's the vast, vast majority of it and it's extraordinarily out of tune.

This is not "he's five cents off".  This is something a person off the street would cringe at because it's so horribly out of key.


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It's not a single note or section. It's the vast, vast majority of it and it's extraordinarily out of tune.


I can't stop winning. Post your bottom surgery next.


----------



## Matt Damon (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> I can't stop winning. Post your bottom surgery next.


I can't prove it to you when you have a literal biological abnormality that prevents you from noticing the problem.  It's like trying to describe a shade of blue to a blind person - it's just not possible.

Sorry.


----------



## Dickens Cider (Oct 7, 2021)

Gunt sat alone in the trailer park
Totally unwatchable except for the shart 
Shit flowed down into gunts pajamas 
And totally aroused his horse faced babymama 
He’s gunt he’s gunt he’s gunt
And he’s brain dead .
He’s gunt he’s gunt he’s gunt
A total sped
Gunt lingered last in line for brains
And the dick he got was sorta rotted and innane 
At five foot tall just a failed man
Who likes to smell girl shit on the fingers of his hand 
He’s gunt he’s gunt he’s gunt
He copes and seethes.
He’s gunt he’s gunt he’s gunt
A travesty

A little unwieldy maybe and maybe to be finished later


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 7, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> I can't prove it to you when you have a literal biological abnormality that prevents you from noticing the problem. It's like trying to describe a shade of blue to a blind person - it's just not possible.


First it was I was using a backing track, then you found out I played all the instruments, so then it's I'm tone deaf but I crushed your test, so now it's I'm blind and can't see blue. Keep seething and picking up Ls. I made it to piss off Ralph but I'm liking more that you took a break from tranny posting on the pedophile side of the forums to cry in my thread about it. I'm touched. You don't look unhinged at all. You're trying so hard to walk back the Ls because your ego is so bruised. Next time don't pretend like you know about things you know nothing about. Also get off the HRT, faggot.


SargonF00t said:


> Literally all of Whimsical Trolli's songs in the first few pages of this thread would also be great, if given the same treatment as "Total Eclipse of the Shaft".


@WhimsicalTrolli was an invaluable member of the team that brought you Total Eclipse of the Shart!


----------



## Sasha (Oct 7, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


 I feel like the guy who discovered autism


----------



## Jack Awful (Oct 7, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> First it was I was using a backing track, then you found out I played all the instruments, so then it's I'm tone deaf but I crushed your test, so now it's I'm blind and can't see blue. Keep seething and picking up Ls. I made it to piss off Ralph but I'm liking more that you took a break from tranny posting on the pedophile side of the forums to cry in my thread about it. I'm touched. You don't look unhinged at all. You're trying so hard to walk back the Ls because your ego is so bruised. Next time don't pretend like you know about things you know nothing about. Also get off the HRT, faggot.
> 
> @WhimsicalTrolli was an invaluable member of the team that brought you Total Eclipse of the Shart!


You wrote the backing track from scratch?
I change it from a 2/10 to a 4/10.


----------



## HumanHive (Oct 7, 2021)

I don’t even know what people are arguing about anymore.


----------



## vulg (Oct 7, 2021)

HumanHive said:


> I don’t even know what people are arguing about anymore.


@Matt Damon ‘s gender dysphoria, I think, and why he will never be a real woman


----------



## HumanHive (Oct 8, 2021)

vulg said:


> @Matt Damon ‘s gender dysphoria, I think, and why he will never be a real woman


Okay that makes a lot more sense.


----------



## blackboots (Oct 8, 2021)

Burd Turglar said:


> Personally, I would have gone for "When I think about Null, I shart myself" or maybe a take on cold as ice but it's called warm as shart.
> 
> But that's just me.


Sure, why not? I'm not singing this though. Power level reasons.
Not for sanity / use or edit however you fucking want, I'll disavow making it.


Spoiler



I Shart Myself to Divinysis I Touch Myself

I Shart Myself
I want you to pound me
When I feel down
I feel shit around me
I search my soul
There's only shit in me
I lose my soul
I want you to pin me

I don't do anything else
When I think about Null, 
I shart myself
I don't do anything else, 
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I cannot take a single joke
And so my child bride I must choke
She wouldn't have a threesome
With a horsey pedophile
So I kicked her out, it's all worthwhile

I close my eyes
And everything is brown
Think I might die
In shit I might drown.
Everyone can see
Wtf is wrong with me
But I can't cope
Seething is my only hope

I don't do anything else
When I think about Null,
I Shart myself
Oh I don't do anything else
Oh no, oh no, oh no

I hate Null
And all of Kiwifarms
Pay me to shart myself
Or I'll self harm

I don't do anything else
When I think about Null
I Shart myself,
Oh I don't do anything else
Oh no oh no oh no


Oh Shit, It's a Warm Shart to Foreigner's Cold As Ice

Oh shit, it's a warm shart
I should have known from the start
This wouldn't end well.

I thought it was just a fart
I guess I'm just not that smart, I know

I've done it before, it happens all the time
You stream 24 hours and go outta your mind
I wanted to be famous, but not in this way!
Fuck you A-lawgs, someday you'll pay!

Oh shit, it's a warm Shart
I should've known from the start
This couldn't end well

I thought I was making art
Guess I'm just not that smart, I know

I've done it before, it happens all the time
Streaming this pigshit, well here's some of mine!
Everyone's laughing, but it's not troo!
I sniffed my hand, I swear it's not poo!

(Warm Shart warm shart)
Oh shit it's a--
(Warm Shart warm Shart...)

[Ad nauseum]


----------



## Boss Bass (Oct 8, 2021)

Jim Steinman must be proud


----------



## believe all women (Oct 8, 2021)

I can't get over how bizarre the "Turning Brown" video is. The off key singing, the weird visuals, the surreal vibe. I want to turn it off, but have watched it 3 times on repeat. It's...otherworldly.


----------



## Cow Poly (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> Okay.  But that's not what the other guy is claiming.
> 
> He's claiming it's in tune, which is verifiably false for anyone with functional ears and superior arcuate fasciculus.


Hey Retard, it's a gunt meme. It doesn't need to be "in tune" .... maybe Reddit is more your speed there, Morty.


----------



## Captain Manning (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Whoever did this, Bless you. It's awesome.


----------



## FM Bradley (Oct 8, 2021)

blackboots said:


> Oh Shit, It's a Warm Shart to Foreigner's Cold As Ice


I WANNA KNOW WHAT GUNT IIIIIISSSSS


----------



## blackboots (Oct 8, 2021)

FM Bradley said:


> I WANNA KNOW WHAT GUNT IIIIIISSSSS


God help me, done as May because.... Duh
Also I highly recommend a stiff drink. You might puke. I came close



Spoiler



I gotta take a little time,
A little time to think things over
Digibro, can't you read my mind?
You're not a loli, you're too older

This Gunt, I need to climb.
I want to fuck it, is it like shoulders?
It's like an ass, it has weird lines
It's like a giant massive boulder!

In my life, there's been trannies and pain
I don't know, if I can be normal again
Can't stop now, I've gone too damn far
To try to climb the Gunt...

I wanna know what gunt is
I know you can show me,
I wanna feel what gunt is
I know you can show me

Better be careful 'round the Gunt
He pops pills and gets in drunk rage
But I won't give up the hunt
This way to harems underage

In my life, there's been trannies and pain
I don't think I can be normal again
Can't stop now, I've come too damn far
To try to climb the Gunt.

I wanna be smothered in gunt
I know you can show me
I wanna touch babies
I know you will let me

I'm a tradwife now
I know you will Gunt me
I'm winning Fai Fai
I'm gonna carry that Gunt....

Now I know, I know what gunt is
Can't escape, cuz I know what Gunt is
No way out, now I know what Gunt is
I wanna know, how'd Faith get out?
We know what Gunt is...



Edit: lost a verse, put it back in.


----------



## Lichen Bark (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Wow, I wasn't expecting much, but damn, they really outdid themselves with those lyrics. They were so creative I had to listen to the whole thing thrice.


----------



## Paranoia Machine (Oct 8, 2021)

Justtocheck said:


> Ralph is mentioned in the front page again. Yaay. Thread reminder that he's packing small heat.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Its astounding that it's both short and thin and not one or the other. Also jesus fucking christ. That donut of fat around it.
Makes me wanna puke.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 8, 2021)

blackboots said:


> Sure, why not? I'm not singing this though. Power level reasons.
> Not for sanity / use or edit however you fucking want, I'll disavow making it.
> 
> 
> ...



You are killing it young grasshopper. Can't wait to see more or even work on a sing or two.


----------



## WinnieTheJew (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It's almost a banal superpower, like not being able to smell body odor or something.


Apparently working with Indians for around 6 months gives you a superpower. You learn something new every day.


----------



## MNEMONIA (Oct 8, 2021)

Boy, you're gonna carry that gunt... carry that gunt, a long TIMMEEEEEEEEEEE


----------



## MuhCree (Oct 8, 2021)

Liquid Richard and Snort Ranklin collab when?


----------



## TwinkieBooBoo (Oct 8, 2021)

Justtocheck said:


> Ralph is mentioned in the front page again. Yaay. Thread reminder that he's packing small heat.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It looks like a migets thumb sticking out from a bush.


----------



## Chuckie Kane (Oct 8, 2021)

Funny and Hilarious


----------



## Let's Love Lain (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


This has really early Newgrounds energy, don't see much like this anymore. Everybody is too concerned about monetisation. Thanks for this feels like I was transported to a better time on the internet.


----------



## lemongrab (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


This is one of the best things I've seen on this whole goddamn website.


----------



## arabianights (Oct 8, 2021)

Putting this in featured as some major news.
Null must be SEEEETHING


----------



## Laquisha Guntermensch (Oct 8, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> It's nice this thread is getting the love it deserves.


It's a niche job, and mostly thankless, please cherish every up vote while they last and carry on @WhimsicalTrolli.


----------



## FuzzMushr00m (Oct 8, 2021)

arabianights said:


> Putting this in featured as so me major news.
> Null must be SEEEETHING


First null admits he can't even gamble like Ralph
Then the "Joshua Conner Moon is a kid diddler" hat
Of course he had to put this on the front page, Ralphamales keep winning, Josh "damage control" Moon on the ropes!


----------



## Laquisha Guntermensch (Oct 8, 2021)

Here's a local copy of @Captain Chromosome's song Shartaches by the Number @Null





your_browser_is_not_able_to_play_this_audio


----------



## Magic Sun Daddy (Oct 8, 2021)

ShiftyBoi said:


> We're going full Brett Keane here. People are making art about his circus of a life.
> 
> Just give up, dude.



Hey, say what you will about Brett but at least he's in his kids lives.


----------



## Mexican Molotov Marauder (Oct 8, 2021)

Magic Sun Daddy said:


> Hey, say what you will about Brett but at least he's in his kids lives.


Imagine how shitty it has to be being Ralph. I mean, what do you do when you are such a fuckup even a retarded mush-mouthed wife beater like Brett Keane is a better father? Ralph is too fat for the rope and he is a felon, so he can't even get a gun to shoot himself in shame. Almost makes me pity him. Almost.


----------



## Hard Toothbrush (Oct 8, 2021)

Once again the biggest entertainment comes from inside the thread, not the lolcow itself.


----------



## STN (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


that was.....beautiful.....


----------



## Sexy Potoo (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> I can't prove it to you when you have a literal biological abnormality that prevents you from noticing the problem.  It's like trying to describe a shade of blue to a blind person - it's just not possible.
> 
> Sorry.


Alright Gator, we get it, you think the song sucks, but no amount of whiteknighting is going to make the song go away.


----------



## not william stenchever (Oct 8, 2021)

Shitposts like this are what keeps the human spirit alive in these dark times.


----------



## LordOdin (Oct 8, 2021)

Jack Awful said:


> Very unfunny and poorly sang. 2/10.
> 
> EDIT: Don't accept garbage entertainment just because it validates your worldview. That's how people like Ralph get popular in the first place.


To me this is like low quality PPP phone streams.


----------



## Big Fat Frog (Oct 8, 2021)

Surprised nobody’s tried this one before. This one was conjured up in like 30 minutes while taking a shower. Anything to be changed or fixed or added, let me know. Can’t think of an alternative title, so here’s _*In the End by Linkin Gunt!*_
_*In the End - Linkin Gunt*_

[Verse 1]
_(It starts with Gunt)_
One pill, I cannot stop
It doesn't even matter how much I pop
Keeping in mind, I’ve gotta stream
While my ass blows steam
_(All I know)_
Cash is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by through Makers Mark stings
Watch it count down while spending on May
The booze strips it away
_(It's not true)_
Should have gone poo before
Watch the time go right out the front door
Trying to stream on, but I didn't even know
I wasted it all just to have to go

[Pre-Chorus]
_(Have to go)_
I kept every fart inside and even though I tried, it all came apart
What it’s meant to be will eventually be a clip of a time when I tried to fart

[Chorus]
I tried to fart
But out came a shart
But in the end
It all came out a splatter
A turd to fall
Inside a stall
But in the end
It all came out a splatter

[Verse 2]
One pill, I cannot stop
It doesn't even matter how much I pop
Keeping in mind, I’ve gotta stream
To not remind myself how I tried to fart
_(I tried to fart)_
In spite of the A-Logs mocking me
Bought a man-purse as personal property
Remembering all the times they made fun of me
I'm surprised I got so far
_(Got so far)_
Streams aren't the way they were before
Fans wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that they knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

[Pre-Chorus]
_(In the end)_
I kept every fart inside and even though I tried, it all came apart
What it’s meant to be will eventually be a clip of a time when I tried to fart

[Chorus]
I tried to fart
But out came a shart
But in the end
It all came out a splatter
A turd to fall
Inside a stall
But in the end
It all came out a splatter

[Bridge]
I've put my trust in poo
Pushed as hard as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you all know
I've put my trust in poo
Pushed as hard as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you all know

[Chorus]
I tried to fart
But out came a shart
But in the end
It all came out a splatter
A turd to fall
Inside a stall
But in the end
It all came out a splatter


----------



## Planted (Oct 8, 2021)

Laquisha Guntermensch said:


> Here's a local copy of @Captain Chromosome's song Shartaches by the Number @Null
> 
> View attachment 2607593


Sometimes, i love the internet, like stories of westerns looking back at the wild west bloodsports.
Catch you later on down the stream...


----------



## MuuMuu Bunnylips (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It must be wonderful to be tone deaf.
> 
> It's almost a banal superpower, like not being able to smell body odor or something.


I can't decide which is funnier: that you're slagging off _a parody song for *being badly done*, _or...

No wait; that's pretty much all I have.


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Oct 8, 2021)

Imagine getting dunked on that hard, and they didn’t even mention the revenge porn Ralph released while his teen baby mama was in the mental hospital. 
You better smile motherfucking Ralph.


----------



## LordOdin (Oct 8, 2021)

Exdeo i caligvla aka i guntigvla

"On this glorious day, I declare Guntus Oliverus Shitthumbicus, Emperor of Virginia!"

I, guntigvla, am gunt made of flesh, my thumb in your ass, this is the will of the gunt!
I,  colossal, these pants are drenched in shit!

Bow to me, you worthless paypig, the sky will fall from grace
All the voices left unheard, dead and buried in my chat.

Whisper, whisper, whisper words of defication

I am life, I am fat, your souls left to waste
I am everything you need and all the things you fear

Whisper, whisper, whisper words of pedophilia

They killed my mother
They killed my father
Who am I but the true face of Virginia

Snakes shall be sweeped up, their women and children thrown on my miniscule cock.
I thirst your shit, I want it all!

I, Guntigvla, am gunt made of flesh, my thumb in your ass, this is the will of the gunt!
I, guntigvla, am master of all your fears, thy ego colossal, these hands are drenched in shit!

Kneel, kneel, kneel before me
Kneel, kneel, for I am gunt!


----------



## Uberpenguin (Oct 8, 2021)

Originally I was going to explain that the song is obviously intentionally bad and the point of retarded shitposts is to make the person you're targeting assume you're a moron/barely invested, and that even idiots think they're a laughingstock, further infuriating them.

However @RichardRApe's sensitivity makes me question if maybe he's not actually just very dumb and incompetent. Here he is in chat now, speaking of which.


Well jeez, I can't think of anyone else who can't take any criticism, no matter how minor, and reflexively calls people on KF who insult them pedophiles. Not that the fact that weens are usually just as bad or worse than the people they target is news to anyone.


----------



## Sasha (Oct 8, 2021)

Uberpenguin said:


> Well jeez, I can't think of anyone else who can't take any criticism, no matter how minor, and reflexively calls people on KF who insult them pedophiles.


----------



## Complete Reprobate (Oct 8, 2021)

Why has no one ever sang to me like this? How many more times must I shart myself to receive my animal based bride?


----------



## veri (Oct 8, 2021)

Big Fat Frog said:


> Surprised nobody’s tried this one before. This one was conjured up in like 30 minutes while taking a shower. Anything to be changed or fixed or added, let me know. Can’t think of an alternative title, so here’s _*In the End by Linkin Gunt!*_
> _*In the End - Linkin Gunt*_
> 
> [Verse 1]
> ...


MUSICAL TALENT OF KIWIFARMS.NET DO THIS ONE this is the funniest shit i’ve seen today


----------



## Mariposa Electrique (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


There should have been a woman singing pretending to be Pantsu.


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 8, 2021)

Uberpenguin said:


> However @RichardRApe's sensitivity makes me question if maybe he's not actually just very dumb and incompetent. Here he is in chat now, speaking of which.


You saw me talking shit in chat and rather than confront me or join in you screen capped it instead to complain that you'll never be a real woman?


----------



## Slobber Mutt (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.



_Yo Pierre, you wanna come out here?_


----------



## Sektor 37 (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It's almost a banal superpower, like not being able to smell body odor or something.


"I do not even smell the smell anymore."


----------



## Bloitzhole (Oct 8, 2021)

Your browser is not able to display this video.



It echoes all the way to Bavaria, Germany 
(music has not been edited in - it is part of Dragonlord's stream and the background is of his own design)


----------



## Captain Manning (Oct 8, 2021)

Matt Damon said:


> It's not a single note or section. It's the vast, vast majority of it and it's extraordinarily out of tune.


Here's the thing, my man:

Ralph almost certainly can't fucking sing. This is a parody of Ralph. Get it?

If somebody who can actually sing did this, would it also be funny? Sure. Maybe. It would be a _different _kind of funny though. I don't think the creator of this meant for it to be played casually in the background along with whatever is currently on the Billboard Top 10.


----------



## UCantCCPMe (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


This deserves a fuckin Grammy. Think if we tell Hollywood it's a song making fun of a alt-right retard they'll give it a nomination if for nothing else the virtue signaling?


----------



## UCantCCPMe (Oct 8, 2021)

Captain Manning said:


> Here's the thing, my man:
> 
> Ralph almost certainly can't fucking sing. This is a parody of Ralph. Get it?
> 
> If somebody who can actually sing did this, would it also be funny? Sure. Maybe. It would be a _different _kind of funny though. I don't think the creator of this meant for it to be played casually in the background along with whatever is currently on the Billboard Top 10.


It has a real Newgroundsesque feel to it. It should sound just as shitty as the videos on that site did, just to keep it authentic.


----------



## Jester69 (Oct 8, 2021)

Captain Manning said:


> Ralph almost certainly can't fucking sing. This is a parody of Ralph. Get it?


Heh... wait until I reveal my parody of Ethan Ralph: His sextape, reenacted by me and an underage boy! 

The look on his face as I sniff the boy's poopoo stink will be so epic hahaha


----------



## Ahriman (Oct 8, 2021)




----------



## MuuMuu Bunnylips (Oct 8, 2021)

UCantCCPMe said:


> This deserves a fuckin Grammy.


Considering the shit that gets Grammys nowadays, that's not even irony.


----------



## Clockwork_PurBle (Oct 8, 2021)

I've listened to "Total Eclipse" a dozen times and the initial "every now and then I rip a shart" kills me every time


----------



## Captain Chromosome (Oct 8, 2021)

I return with another shitty song with added off-tune harmony to annoy the retards sperging about pitch.
Guntry Roads - John Memphis

Here's the first one I made a while back for the MATI discord. Enjoy or not.
I am I, Ethan Ralph - from The Gunt of La Mancha


----------



## Kazukifaen (Oct 8, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Warner Gunt Music  Genius. 

I'm in fucking tears of laughing so hard XD 

Ah! Look, Gator/ Ethan Ralph Disliked this video, we can't make as song about The fat gunt wigger


----------



## mindlessobserver (Oct 9, 2021)

I heard the actual song this was based on and all I could think about was Ethan Ralph starting. "Bright Eyes" has been ruined for me forever.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Oct 9, 2021)

I know that there's no way in hell that it's him... But the guy singing for Ronnie Ralph kind of sounds like Mike Stoklasa to me, haha.
I still thought it was hilarious. XD


----------



## veri (Oct 9, 2021)

here is my contribution it’s my first one i made it last night. this song is dedicated to mantsu:

*well, i tumble outta bed and it smells like booze
lookin at the clock it's the mid afternoon
work's in an hour should call the uber soon

taking a shower, skip the shampoo
ralph's on stream screaming IT'S NAWT TRUUUUU
I DIDN'T DOX HIM, IT WAS PROBABLY YOU!

subway, 9 to 5, makin' ethan ralph his living
barely getting by, it's all liquor and his gambling
he's just gettin' high, while my shifts seem never ending
it's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

sunrise, 9 to 1, taking sandra's medication
died without her son, cause he won't get a vaccination
stuck with this memphis pig, to spite the child bride
now i have another subway shift at 9

paypigs suck the gunt but it really doesn't matter
with an ugly man purse, dry steak on a platter
in the end i'm footing the bill anyway

now ralph's mad again about his babymama 
posts on /cow/, running ops and starting drama
cause he paper aborted, and he can't say xander's name

memphis 5 foot 1, drinking maker's popping xannies
eats shit off his thumb, and his only friend's his janny
stuck with this memphis pig, to spite the child bride
now i have another subway shift at 9

subway, 6 to 2 then the liquor store for maker
getting shit for views, on his pillstreams with gator
sharting on his chair, clean it up hours later
but it was just a stretch you dirty ayylawg haters*

https://youtu.be/UbxUSsFXYo4


----------



## PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue (Oct 9, 2021)

Laquisha Guntermensch said:


> We need a full Kiwi congregation for a sing-a-long @Captain Chromosome!  Mighty good performance sir, bravo.


Like an even more autistic /v/ The Musical? Fuck yeah!


----------



## Meowstery (Oct 9, 2021)

Captain Chromosome said:


> I return with another shitty song with added off-tune harmony to annoy the retards sperging about pitch.
> Guntry Roads - John Memphis
> 
> Here's the first one I made a while back for the MATI discord. Enjoy or not.
> I am I, Ethan Ralph - from The Gunt of La Mancha


Incredible work, the harmony is so good. Please keep it up


----------



## Dogechu_Prime (Oct 10, 2021)

Captain Chromosome said:


> I return with another shitty song with added off-tune harmony to annoy the retards sperging about pitch.
> Guntry Roads - John Memphis
> 
> Here's the first one I made a while back for the MATI discord. Enjoy or not.
> I am I, Ethan Ralph - from The Gunt of La Mancha


Fucking brilliant


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 10, 2021)

It's nice seeing the new breed of shanty writers are having fun, it's time for the og shanty go release a song.

Burning the gunt bridge
Parody of little dark age by mgmt
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Breathing in the shart smelling like a pigsty
The Pants are ruined, because you didn't wear boxers
And the more I watch the clip
I die a little inside
The friendship starts to rot, one seethe at the time.

(Chorus)
Oh
Crying on the stream for saying it's nawt poo
Spending the whole show, being felted by a jew
When you get out of that chair
Don't end up being felted by with each disavow on the rage while your allies Burn the gunt bridge

(Verse 2)
Going to Vegas leaving your pregnant bride
While she looks at her loli getting blacked
Each time you play a card you continue To
Fellatie your pride
You are still coping from the shart in your little shack.

(Chorus)
Oh
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
Don't end up coping hard, screaming on stream while your allies burn gunt bridge

(Chorus)
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
You'll end up moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Bridge)
Enjoying in delight, seeing what's the come
Seething in fright, thinking of the next cope

(Chorus)
The Gunt swears Christ is king
While grooming some teen
I know my friends and I
Wouldn't trust a ween
When you get out of the chair
You'll Find us writing shanties
About you shitting your panties
While your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Chorus)
Your jannies are here to sweep from the little joke
Sahnny is here to console, while you weep in cope
When you get out of that chair
You'll end up moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge

(Outro)
moving site to site
Disavowed while your allies burn the gunt bridge


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Oct 10, 2021)

An anthem for the Killstream fans, all 50 of them.

*Dare To Be Gunted*





Put down that Maker's and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be strangers
It's time to make the future white

You better join all the fags in the Discord
You better send your love via superchat
You better suck Ralph's meat in a tweet
You better pony up for the Killstream app

You better eat all the Xannies you can
While Mama Ralph is not around
Stick a thumb in a teenager and call yourself the man

Feed off a trashburger
Sneed over a number two
Breed a loli weeaboo
What can you do?
Dare to be gunted

Take your mama's pill stash
Wear your Pedo Josh hat
Watch your daily Tucker now
I'll show you how
You can dare to be gunted

You can try to slap a cop
You can be a Gator fan
You can save the whites even if you're Mexican

Dare to be gunted
Come on and dare to be gunted
It's so easy to do
Dare to be gunted
I swear it's not poo
Let's go

It's time to make a fatherless baby
So can I have a volunteer?
There's no more time for crying over DA JOOS
Now it's time for crying about queers

Sperg out, harass a family, move out to VA
Get yourself a man purse and gamble away
Once you're dead broke you can file pro se
It's okay, you can dare to be gunted

It's like calling your Uber
It's like it isn't even true
It's like I said I didn't dox him and it probably was you

Dare to be gunted
(Yes)
Why don't you dare to be gunted?
It's so easy to do

Dare to be gunted
We're all waiting for you
Dare to be gunted

Burn all the bridges you come across
Look your wife horse in the mouth
Weeb incels can call you boss

You can be a Gold Star Caller
You can be white trash and still think you're baller
The future's up to you
So what you gonna do?

Dare to be gunted, dare to be gunted
What did I say?
Dare to be gunted

Tell me, what did I say?
Dare to be gunted
It's alright
Dare to be gunted
We can be gunted all night

Dare to be gunted
Come on, join the crowd
Dare to be gunted
Holler out loud

Dare to be gunted
I can't hear you
Dare to be gunted
Okay, it's unmuted now

Dare to be gunted
Let's go, dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted

Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted
Dare to be gunted


----------



## RichardRApe (Oct 10, 2021)

Sasha said:


> I feel like the guy who discovered autism


Welcome to the world of Gunt Parody songs. Behold the greatest thing ever put to tape.


----------



## TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo (Oct 10, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Welcome to the world of Gunt Parody songs. Behold the greatest thing ever put to tape.


This is the full power of autism.


----------



## Captain Chromosome (Oct 10, 2021)

Gentlemen, here's the next track for the Guntry Roads album.
Loudoun Prison Blues - by Ronnie Cash

@RichardRApe thank you for sharing that autism. Funniest shit I've seen all day


----------



## DeadPowerPuffGirl (Oct 10, 2021)

Cucktry Roads said:


> For anyone who didn't see it.


Why the fuck did I ever come here and click this shit? What the fuck was this?


----------



## BlackGorillaPerson (Oct 11, 2021)

RichardRApe said:


> Welcome to the world of Gunt Parody songs. Behold the greatest thing ever put to tape.


kino, truly what Freddy Mercury was envisioning when he wrote bohemian rhapsody


----------



## Male Idiot (Oct 11, 2021)

Not only is his ass ahrty, but that is one short dick. Wonder, would Chris beat him in size? Maybe he can loan horseface to make Crystal.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 11, 2021)

Hello, since it's the 40th anniversary of Luther Vandross hit single "Never too much" I decided to experiment and make this a @Fslur Parody. Good luck on beating the gunt for right of clip shows.

Song: Clipping too much
Parody of never too much by Luther Vandross
Written by Cal Rollia


(Verse 1)
I can't fool myself there's no one I would want to clip for me
You're my favorite grifter, my Plagiarizer my female neet
There's not a streamer, content creator that wont put above you
You're at the top of my list
'Cause im always viewing you
I still remember the days you called yourself booberlee
How I spent my day watching the clips with so much glee
Although I think it's wrong to put others work on a paywall
But I also anticipate the next halal

 (Pre Chorus)
Oh, amber
A thousand clips from you is never too much
 I Dont want you to stop
Oh, Amber
A million dmcas is way too much
I don't want you to stop

(Chorus)
(Too much, clipping too much, clipping too much, clipping too much, clipping too much.)

(Verse 2)
Woke up today to get on YouTube just to see your channel is gone.
I can't believe what gunted man has done
You won the case to get your channel back
But the gunted man said that those videos wont go up
 I call up my pal Cow up he's the privacy respecting pup
Well who needs another channel to hustle for the lols
I'd rather stay with you 'cause I like to be the tea cabal
Efame is a gamble and im glad you are winnin
But you need to come back to make Ralph seeth because of his shartin

(Chorus)
Oh, amber
A thousand clips from you is never too much
(Clipping too much
Clipping too much
Clipping too much)
I don't want you to stop
Oh amber, oh Woah Woah
A million dmcas is way too much
(Clipping too much
Clipping too much
Clipping too much)
I don't want you to stop
Oh amber, oh woah, oh woah
A thousand clips from you is ne, ne, nevvvvvveerr too much
(Clipping Too much
Clipping too much
Clipping too much)
I just don't want you to stop
Oh amber


----------



## dirtydeanna96 (Oct 12, 2021)

this was originally a song about war

How do you bury the skull of your country?
How do you bury a nation of fears?
Where do you put all the long years of dying?
Give me a tombstone and a wreath of all your tears

Turn around! There’s a black day dawning
Turn around! There’s a corpse in mourning
Turn around! To your tin can graveyard
Turn around! To your tin foil saviour
Turn around, bright eyes!
Turn around, bright eyes!

Turn around! Let a new world in, now
Turn around! Let the final dance begin, now
Turn around! Give us all your guns, and
Turn around! Look at us! We’re your outlaw sons, now
Turn around, bright eyes!
Turn around, bright eyes!









						Jim Steinman - Come In the Night (1969 Live)
					

Here's a very rare performance of Jim Steinman singing Come In The Night Live. The quality is terrible, but it's still interesting.




					www.youtube.com


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Oct 13, 2021)

Here is a quick edit of a shantie. It's called smelly Gator


What will we do with a smelly Gator?
What will we do with a smelly Gator?
What will we do with a smelly Gator?
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

Make him shower on the daily basis
Make him shower on the daily basis
Make him shower on the daily basis
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

Put him in a long boat till the smell is over
Put him in a long boat till the smell is over
Put him in a long boat till the smell is over
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Stick him in a scupper with a hosepipe bottom
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

Put him in the bed with the Pantsu Party
Put him in the bed with the Pantsu Party
Put him in the bed with the Pantsu Party
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

That's what we do with a smelly Gator
That's what we do with a smelly Gator
That's what we do with a smelly Gator
Early in the morning!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!

Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Way hay up the gunt rises
Showing micropenis!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 25, 2021)

the first shanty album will be released next week, be there or be square.


----------



## Cucktry Roads (Oct 25, 2021)

Oh, there once was a gunt named Ralphnar the Red,
Who came flying to Richmond from Las Vegas with dread.

(pause)

And the fatass did swiggle and guzzle his booze,
As he told of brave Tucker and bets he didn’t lose.

(longer pause)

But then he went quiet, did Ralphnar the Red,
Because he had screwed the fair Faith, who said;

(shorter pause)

"Oh, you slurred and you lied and you drank your problems away,
No more will you lead me astray!"

(pause)

And so then came shouting and tweeting of fail,
As the brave dad Vickers charged in, to send him to jail!

(pause)

And the fatass named Ralphnar had lost his farse,
All because he had slid a thumb up her arse.


----------



## Least Concern (Oct 26, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> Hello, since it's the 40th anniversary of Luther Vandross hit single "Never too much" I decided to experiment and make this a @Fslur Parody. Good luck on beating the gunt for right of clip shows.
> 
> Song: Clipping too much
> Parody of never too much by Luther Vandross
> ...


For some reason (I guess because it's an '80s music video that starts with a black guy in a studio putting on headphones) that reminded me of this classic:






Nick I can't understand it, why you gotta snake me
After the career-buildin' I done for you
I brought you into bloodsports, invited you to Knoxville
Still you laugh at my fart, but it wasn't poo

My pants are just sharty all the time, sharty all the time, sharty all the time
My pants are just sharty all the time, sharrrrrty all the time
They're sharty all the time

Sharty all the time, they are just sharty all the time
Sharty all the time, they are just sharty all the time

Girl I mocked you on my show, you claim to be a man and
You have the face of a pale manatee
But if you come on by, I'll give you some barebackin'
A second premarital pregnancy

But my pants are just sharty all the time, sharty all the time, sharty all the time
My pants are just sharty all the time, sharrrrrty all the time
My pants are just sharty all the time, sharty all the time, sharty all the time
My pants are just sharty all the time, sharrrrrty all the tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime, yeah

(sharty, sharty, sharty) They are just sharty all the time

They are just sharty all the time
If I don't sit down, the shit is drippin' down
They are just sharty, the shit is drippin' down


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 26, 2021)

AVWP
Parody of D.S. of by Michael Jackson
Written by Cal Rollia

They wanna get my ass In Gayops and lies
You know he tried to take me Down by surprise be you commissioned the District Attorney
With them acting so corny

AVWP are snake's
 AVWP are snakes
AVWP are snakes
AVWP are snakes

Exposing all this shit to my name Just for a glimpse of an efame
They think I will be taken for blame My nieve kindness was lynched
ow you awoken the Grinch in me

I bet this is something that they lament That's why all of your friends have went

All that exposing left you in suit
Where the cuck get to get the last hoot

AVWP are snake's
AVWP are snakes
AVWP are snakes
AVWP are snakes

Are snakes Are snakes


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 31, 2021)

Cal Rollia's The Wigger





Spoiler: Track 1: The Optics



Optics
Parody of the difference by Flmue and Toro y Moi
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
oh oh ooh oohh ooh
The optics between
And the uncultured weens
The alogs can't feel
When the World feels real

(Pre-chorus)
I don't about you
I got a discord
I saw how the forum scorned
If we get yeeted
I want to bring the whole thing

(Chorus)
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh

(Verse 2)
Who cares about the way
How the gunt get his play
All weebs are gay
My morality is gray

(Prechorus)
I don't about you
I got a discord
I saw how the forum scorned
If we get yeeted
I want to bring the whole thing

(Chorus)
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh

(Outro)
It's Just another threadI got banned of
And hold on to
Just another thread I got banned of
And hold on to
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Oooooh, ooo-ooh, ooh-ooh, oh
Just another thread I got banned of
And hold on to
Just another thread I got banned of
And hold on to
Oh, oh, oh, oh




POILER]





Spoiler: Track 2: Sperger of the Gayop Wars



Spreger of the gayop wars
Parody of Veteran of the Physic Wars by blue oysters cult
Written by: Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
You see I'm a spreger of a thousand gayop wars Living on the kino so long, where the jannies knowing the score And I'm too tired to see and too awake to think All the cope are from inside
 I'm not sure there's any hey babes left in me.

(Chorus)
Don't let the snakes go on it's time we had a break from it It's time to collect some seethe We've barely had to breathe we've Held on to our wreath Oh please don't let the snakes go on.

You ask why I'm weary Why I can't let you in
 You blame me for being cheery Exposed by the Jews
 But the war's still going on dear And there's no end that I know And I say you just gotta endure.... I can't say that we've had our fair share of seethe (seethe)

(Chorus)
 Don't let the snakes go on its time we've had a break from it!
 It's time to collect some seethe
 We've barely had to breathe we've Held on to our wreath
 Oh please don't let the snakes go on.

(Guitar solo)

(Verse 3)
You see I'm a spreger of a thousand gayop war
 I'm just say I had a blast my kino has been worn
 I have used up all my lives and I saw a woman's scorn Cope is all I'm made of
Did I hear this is victory?

(Chorus)
 I'm not sure there's any hey babes left in me. Don't let the snakes go on it's time we had a break from it Send me to Mattis Where my purple heart is swell And I can rest easy in hell Oh, please don't let these snakes go on.

Don't let these snakes go on!
 Don't let these snakes go on!










Spoiler: Track 3: Off the Kino



Off the kino
Prody of off The wall by Michael Jackson
Wrriten by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
When the forum on your shoulder
Gotta stop being a cow end your threats
If you can't handle the alogs
Then there's no reason for you to be this part of the internet
Cause we the stalkers night and day
'Living off lols is the only way

(Chorus)
So tonight gotta leave the optics and morality off the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the damn alogging get you
Life ain't bad at all, (live life of the kino)
Live your life off kino (live it off the kino)

(Verse 2)
You can holler if you want you
' cause there's sin in peeking at the thunderdome
If spent your time seething
Then there's no reason for you to be this part of the internet
Cause we the stalkers night and day
'Living off lols is the only way
(Chorus)
So tonight gotta leave the optics and morality off the shelf
And just enjoy yourself
Groove, let the damn alogging get you
Life ain't bad at all, (live life of the kino)
Live your life off kino (live it off the kino)

(Bridge)
It's truu, do what you want to do
There ain't no reason to keep the lols
Inside, let your alog thrive
While we would snipe through the night (all right)

(Verse 3)
Gotta make those cows seething
While you don't expose all your ops
Want to make sure you collect the sneed
But you better expect all the blocks

(Chorus)
So tonight gotta leave the optics and morality off the shelf
And just enjoy yourself (come O
Groove, let the damn alogging get you
Life ain't bad at all, (live life of the kino)
Live your life off kino (live it off the kino)











Spoiler: Track 5: guntbusting 



Title: Guntbusting (parody of Cloudbusting by kate Bush
Writer: Call Rollia.

(Verse 1)
I still dream of a disavow
I'm waiting terrified
Of the Gunt's screaming
But he's always late
But you don't know what happens in the killstream

(Pre-chorus)
You're the gift that keeps giving
That allows glowniggers
And the guards keeps sweeping
But you can't stop the karens
Sniping.

(Chorus)
Everytime he drinks
The pills keep rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen

(Verse 2)
Booted from dlive
No more ninjets
You're on burrowed time
You're relevance is small
But your debt still grows.
To be a simp for the lemon emperors.

(Prechorus)
You're chugging the booze
Seething due to pho
Clogging up your liver
Milo can't save you
Let's fucking go

(chorus)
Everytime he drinks
The pills keeps rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen

(Chorus)
Everytime he drinks
The pills keeps rattling
The guards sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen
The guards sweep the chat
The neckbread sweep the chat
Oooh I know a pillstream is gonna happen
I don't know when
But you never know when a pillstream about to happen
But you never know when a Pillstream about to happen.

(Bridge)
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh
Cant beat the karens, Gunty

(Outro)
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh
Gunty gunty yee ooh yeeee ooh


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 31, 2021)

1st single: Wigger

Wigger
Parody of Thriller by Michael Jackson
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
It's close to 9 sharp
The gunt's waking up from a nasty shart
Under the moonlight
You see the gunt's that stops your heart
You try to make him seethe
But he will just holler over you
Gaydur will start to sweep
While he sees you his eagle eyes
You're paralyzed

(Chorus)
Cuz he's a wigger
Wigger fright
And no one gonna save you
When he ask you whos five one
You know he's a wigger
Wigger fights
You're fighting for your life
 With a Nigger
Wigger tonight, yeah

(Verse 2)
You hear the dolphin laugh
While his viewers drop like flies
He runs the site with daff
Surely he doesn't burn anymore ties
He will seethe
When his gambling addiction takes a turn
(Girl)
You have to collect the need
That the gunt will do on his tweets
He will make a scene

(Chorus)
Cuz he's a wigger
Wigger fright
And no one gonna save you
When he ask you whos five one
You know he's a wigger
Wigger fights
You're fighting for your life
 With a Nigger
Wigger tonight

(Bridge)
Gunt guards are simping for the meals of your pedo bride
There's no escaping the jaws of his chunt this wide
(Better run this time)
This is the end of your life, ooh

(Verse 4)
He will infect a site
As quickly he get the boot
This is the time
To make sure you and I start the snipe
All through the night
You never know what happens in the killstream
You better not scream

(Chorus)
Cuz he's a wigger
Wigger fright
Cuz he will out nig me
More than I ever dare try
Wigger, woo hooo
Wigger night
So you better hold tight
For the
Wigger, Thriller, chiller
Wigger tonight
You know he's a wigger
Wigger fights
Cuz he will out nig me
More than I ever dare try
Wigger (woo hoo)
I better hold you tight
For the nigger, wigger ow


(Outro)
I'm going to alog you tonight
Gunts tampon breath fills across the land
The sweeping from shanny is out of hand
Pantsu crawling in search of children
Be careful from that heathen
And whosoever is found
Gaydur will surely flag them down
The foulest shart fill the air
Gunt guards haven't washed in thousand years
Diddler dax with his lolbertrain views
And the failure of new project two
And though you spam the chat for the lols
You suddenly shouting nigger
For no mere Alog can resist
The shouting of the winger
Wuhbulbulblah blah
Fuck off why do I have to leave for you leave fuck Oh  with your little 30 people on YouTube oh my God please


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Oct 31, 2021)

Second single

This song is dedicated to a old hag who threatened me whos in a lolsuit.

Intro
You know, you pissed me off there
I always wanted to be threatened by you
Such a P.O.H. pretty old hag, ooh

(Verse 1)
Who do think you are baby
Coming in my DMS threatening me
Right away, dontdont be flakey
Holy mooley don't you see
Spark my nature, sugar fly with me
Do my you know it's not the time
To tell me im on thin ice
Then tonight you got rejected from fame
I'm going to alog you to the max

(Chorus)
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
I took it there
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
Ill take it there
(Anywhere you want to go)
Yes I will, ooh

(Verse 2)
Nothing can't stop this burning felting
I'm going to give you
You will dilate from this seethe
Cool my undying yearning
I'm going to let my alogging free
(3:13am)
Don't you know, I want to push this
You shouldn't try snake on me
In the night, melty will spam the pigs
I'll give it all I've got

(Chorus)
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
I took it there
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
Ill take it there
(Anywhere you want to go)
Yes I will, hee-oh

(Bridge)
Pretty old hag UH!
Pretty old hag Ha ha ha
Pretty old hag UH
Pretty old hag, repeat after me
Sing "Na-Na-Na" (Na-na-na-na)
"Na-na-na-na" (na-na-na-na)
"Na-na-na-na-na" (na-na-na-na)
I'll take it there, take it there.

(Chorus)
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
I took it there
I see you coping, P.O.H.
pretty old hag
You need some dicking
O.l.b
Old lonely bich
Ill take it there
(Anywhere you want to go)
Yes I will, hee-oh

(Outro)
Hoo-ooh (I want to alog you P.O.H. P.O.H)
Oh, baby (I want to help you O.L.B.)
oh, baby
Hold.on, ooh-ooh
I want to alog you P.O.H. P.O.H.
I want to felt you O.L.B. O.L.B.
you're such an insufferable butch
You could've just been a little bit nicer
Your such a P.O.H. Pretty Old Hag.






3rd Single

Schizo Queen
Killer queen by queen
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
She keeps her wattpad fiction
In her pretty cellphone
"I was raped" she says
Just like lying whore
A built in pyscho
From wencest and Buffy
She's not even worth
Being a butterface

(Pre-chorus)
Noir and jeepers
Calling their dicks members
Very confusingly intice

(Chorus)
She's a schizo Queen
Gunted by Virginian
Almost Groomed by a lolicon
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
Ooh, famous for thumbing
Not worth the career burning
Wanna try?

(Verse 2)
To avoid taking responsibility
She will claim she was raped
When she was in a psych ward
Her sex tape was leaked
She went to the gunt shack
Making her salad
While her man was away doing crack

(Prechorus)
Disney shoes from Cali (Disney)
From other fandoms she would care less
Unless its singing panic

(Chorus)
She's a schizo Queen
Gunted by Virginian
Almost Groomed by a lolicon
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
(Bridge)
She finally came home
Gave birth to xander
Getting hey babes from spectre
Then alogging her baby daddy
Replaced by a pedo may
To absolutely drive the gunt
Wild, wild she out to get you

(Chorus)
She's a schizo Queen
Gunted by Virginian
Almost Groomed by a lolicon
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
Ooh, famous for thumbing
Not worth the career burning
Wanna try?
You wanna try?


----------



## veri (Nov 5, 2021)

i see esteemed songwriters of kiwi farms use similar inspirations


----------



## Least Concern (Nov 5, 2021)

verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:


> i see esteemed songwriters of kiwi farms use similar inspirations
> View attachment 2693050


Cutty Sark
Glow-in-the-Dark
Rancid Shart (kind of)


----------



## Wir Suchen Dich! (Nov 6, 2021)

new mc jarbo dropped
good shit as usual
loved his matt stuff but this new gunt shit is top tier too


----------



## Particle Bored (Nov 8, 2021)

Crosspost from car crash thread.

To the tune of "Last Kiss," by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers:



Spoiler: Last Sips



Oh where oh where can my Maker’s be?
That Ford took it away from me
It’s in the carpet of my mangled car
I gotta have my Maker’s as I seethe at the Farms

I was out on the road to meet with Jacob Wohl
He was eager to sample my tender hole
When there on my phone, on Zero Hedge
Another piece by Null, ya know he diddles kids

I screamed and cursed as my face turned red
Same as the traffic light straight ahead
I reached for the bottle, foot on the gas
And in that moment we both were smashed

Oh where oh where can my Maker’s be?
That Ford took it away from me
It’s in the carpet of my mangled car
I gotta have my Maker’s as I seethe at the Farms

When my gunt had finally settled down
I desperately searched all around
Something warm flowin' between my thighs
But I found my bottle, barely an ounce inside

I threw back my head, and with slurred words I said
"You’re the only thing that makes me smile!"
I held it close, I slurped up one last sip
I let out a shart as it dripped from my lips
And now it’s gone, but I know it’s alright
I’ll pick up another bottle tonight

Oh where oh where can my Maker’s be?
That Ford took it away from me
It’s in the carpet of my mangled car
I gotta have my Maker’s as I seethe at the Farms


----------



## Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (Nov 11, 2021)

FujiWuji said:


> His gunt may have saved his life lol.



This post got me a bit inspired, so here we go.

Parody of Airbag by Radiohead

Guntbag 

In the next race war
In a Jack Daniels juggernaut
I am drunk again

In The Farms chat
Scrolling up and down
I am drunk again

In an unintelligible outburst
I am back to save the white race

In a deep, drunk sleep
Hardly innocent
I am drunk again

In a slow japanese car
I'm amazed that I survived
A guntbag saved my life

In an unintelligible outburst
I am back to save the white race


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 3, 2021)

It's been a tear since our boy frankie has gone missing. He's gone but never forgotten. 

Frankie
Parody of Jeanny By Falco
Written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Frankie, come come on
Come back please, It's been a year
Unfortunately we didn't stop the steal
You should get Up and heal
Where's alice? She's in her room
When the you left there was a lot of gloom
Who's gone? You?
I, myself or or we ourselves?

(Chorus)
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
Just a lonely little doll
Fighting the corrupt cabal
There's schizos who needs you
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
You're trying to steal the steal
While the gunt looks for his meal
There's always, who needs you
Hey babe

(Verse 2)
It's pretty cold don't you think?
You probably need a drink
But I won't allow go back to the ip2
You now belong to the kiwi brood
Too much danger of being caught and you say "Yoba"
But I saw right through you
Some say that you are a casanova
You need us, don't you?
But it's the other way around
Oh I can hear them! They want you! I won't the feds have you!
They won't find you!
The feds can go fuck off you belong to us!

(Chorus)
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
Just a lonely little doll
Fighting the corrupt cabal
There's schizos who needs you
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
You're trying to steal the steal
While the gunt looks for his meal
There's always, who needs you
Nah Nah Frankie!

Newsflash
Frankie
The famous tye dye plush doll
Protestor from stop the steal rally
Has been missing since December of last year
His owner alice was last seen getting slammed by a rock during an altercation
Kiwis everywhere have tried finding the doll
But the search has been found Unsuccessful.

(Bridge)
FRRRRANNNKKKIIIEEEEE
Looks like kiwis still miss you
Now now
Frankie!
Quit living on streams
FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!
FRANKIE!
You're trying to steal the steal
While the gunt looks for his meal
Looks like kiwis still miss you
Nah Nah

Outro)
Frankie! (Frankie) Quit living on streams
Frankie! (Frankie) Life is what it seems
Just a lonely little doll
Fighting the corrupt cabal
There's schizos who needs you
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
You're trying to steal the steal
While the gunt looks for his meal
There's always, who needs you
Nah Nah Frankie!

Frankie! (Frankie) Life is what it seems
Just a lonely little doll
Fighting the corrupt cabal
There's schizos who needs you
Frankie! Quit living on streams
Frankie! Life is what it seems
You're trying to steal the steal
While the gunt looks for his meal
There's always, who needs you


----------



## Sea Hag Henderson (Dec 9, 2021)

For Ralph's dwindling fanbase (RIP Rand)





A long time ago we used to be fans
But we haven't watched you lately at all
If ever again a message we send
Text to speech with a-loggin' intent

Come on now Ralphie bring it on bring it on, yeah
Another 30 minutes 'til you start the show
Come on now fat boy bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember us when

It's something I said or a tweet that I liked
Or I thought that you farted on a hot mic
Now everbody's been blocked and everybody knows
That Rekieta won and the Killstream blows

Come on now Gunty bring it on bring it on, yeah
Camera off so you can snort the snow
Come on now piglet bring it on bring it on, yeah
Just remember us when

We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans

A long time ago we used to be fans
But we haven't watched you lately at all
If ever again a message we send
Text to speech with a-loggin' intent

We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans a long time ago
We used to be fans


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 10, 2021)

[appy one year anniversary of this beautiful thread. Me and @Least Concern have worked on a parody to also celebrate faith coming home.

Gunted at eighteen
Paody of edge of Seventeen by Stevie nicks
Written by Cal Rollia & Least Concern


(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo-whoo-whoo

(Verse 1)
As the days go by
Being trapped by the gunt
In the shack that's not my own
With tiny shoes
Done a hostage tape, baby
Nothing else mattered.
He's nothing more
(Hes nothing more)
Than a manbaby
Living in his mom's private wing
Told her to take a hike
But the moment
That he thumbed my
Dirty asshole
All alone and gunted at eighteen

(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who


(Verse 2)
Well, he invited may
To be in a poly relationship
Today, Yeah, yeah
When the groomer invaded the courtship
Well it was hauntingly frightening
When I hear the pedo
Trying to get close to Xander
With the baby daddy
Trying to appease the loli
And I try to run away
This time it mattered


(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who


(Verse 3)
And the gunt tried to explain it
When it leaked
But the scene showed the thumbing
But the scene, gunt in frame
So I withdraw from psych ward, in shame
I went back still believing
The liar
Now I see
I was gunted at eighteen

(slapping flesh and sniffing audio clip from the gunt tape)

(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who

@Least Concern

(Verse 4)
Well then finally
My brain cleared out the Xannies and I saw the way
With a flood of tears I finally gave Daddy a call
Said I’ll be returnin’ with my Xander
Back to Cali in late fall
He’s no dad to Xander
But still I let him call
Still manipulatin’,
Go away go away go away

(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who

(Bridge)
Well we file
The restraining
And you file
The response
The other, whore is near you
And I, no longer, have to fear you
My gunt
I’m like half as old as you, my gunt
My asshole is sore, but I'm brighter
(repeat)

(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who

(Chorus)
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Just like a methteeth girl
Alogging the gunt
 to make the gunt seethin
Whoo, baby, who, whoo
Said, who


----------



## FuzzMushr00m (Dec 10, 2021)

MY FAVORITE THINGS

Doxing my paypigs
And seething on Twitter
Blocking the alogs
And burning some bridges

Wasting my money on a new Vegas trip
These are a few of my favorite things

Null’s broken penis and runaway preteens
Dingo debasing himself on the Killstream

Sharting on air and then blaming my knees
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls with deep rooted, unfixed daddy issues
18 year olds to impress daddy Daxie

Pedophile horses that take HRT
These are a few of my favorite things

When my dogs die
When my cat leaves
When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember to blame Joshua Moon
And then I don’t feel so bad

Rand’s angel baby and Warski's tight asshole
Boulders and Maker’s and Zidan’s one liners

Brown-tinted fingertips and Sandy’s pills
These are a few of my favorite things

Owning old Matt with my alias Rad Roberts
Milking my paypigs, collecting R-orders

Pointing at things when I’m taking a pic
These are a few of my favorite things

Constantly lurking my board’s chatting sessions
Belugalee getting kicked from all platforms

Writing a blogpost to own PPP
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog dies
When the chair creaks
When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember that Christ is still KANG
And then I just feel so trad


----------



## Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (Dec 18, 2021)

This one is for my mensch, Gator 

GatorTIme a parody of Tulsa Time




Your browser is not able to display this video.




Well, I left grocery baggin'
Driving in a Uber
Just about to lose my mind
I was going to Twitter to rant
Maybe on to Discord and vent
Where people all live so fine

My mother says I'm crazy
My puerto rican gf lazy
But I'm gonna show them all this time
'Cause you know I ain't no fool and
I need X Ray school 
I was born to the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime
Living on GatorTIme
Gonna set my watch back to it
'Cause you know that I'm the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime

So there I was in Knoxville
Thinking I was doing good
Talking on the Killstream Live
They don't want me in the movies
And nobody sings my songs
My mama says my baby's doing fine

So then I started weebin'
Then I started thinking
That I really had a flash this time
That I had no business leaving
And nobody would be grieving
You see I'm on GatorTime

Living on GatorTime
Living on GatorTime
Gonna set my watch back to it
'Cause you know that I'm the oldest fag
Living on GatorTime


----------



## Zanmato (Dec 18, 2021)

has anyone actually made these into songs? bc I can just stop commenting and make this my mission


----------



## Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (Dec 18, 2021)

Zanmato said:


> has anyone actually made these into songs? bc I can just stop commenting and make this my mission


Just use your imagination.


----------



## HarveySperg41 (Dec 19, 2021)

I did this on another lolcow’s thread.this should be fun with Ralph as well. The twelve days of Guntmass! 

On the first day of Guntmass Ralph‘s haters gave him, one restraining order.


----------



## Lobster Cult High Priest (Dec 19, 2021)

HarveySperg41 said:


> On the first day of Guntmass Ralph‘s haters gave him, one restraining order.



On the second day of Guntmas Ralph’s haters gave to him. Two baby mamas and a restraining order from a man named Vickers.


----------



## Mike Stoklasa (Dec 19, 2021)

HarveySperg41 said:


> I did this on another lolcow’s thread.this should be fun with Ralph as well. The twelve days of Guntmass!
> 
> On the first day of Guntmass Ralph‘s haters gave him, one restraining order.


I appreciate this. But your syllables don't match.

On the first day of Guntmass
Ralph's haters gave to him
An a-log video from Jim.


----------



## HarveySperg41 (Dec 19, 2021)

Mike Stoklasa said:


> I appreciate this. But your syllables don't match.
> 
> On the first day of Guntmass
> Ralph's haters gave to him
> An a-log video from Jim.


But it’s the thought that counts really


----------



## Lobster Cult High Priest (Dec 20, 2021)

On the third day of Guntmas my alogs gave to me. 

3 fights with Rand
2 Baby Mamas 
And a Court order from Faith Vickers


----------



## Laquisha Guntermensch (Dec 20, 2021)

Lobster Cult High Priest said:


> On the third day of Guntmas my alogs gave to me.
> 
> 3 fights with Rand
> 2 Baby Mamas
> And a Court order from Faith Vickers


On the first day of Guntmas Matt Vickers sent to me
A summons sent to Las V!



Spoiler: All twelve days



On the first day of Guntmas Matt Vickers sent to me
A summons sent to Las V!

On the second day of Guntmas
Jawsh Moon sent to me
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the third day of Guntmas
Race Warski sent to me
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the fourth day of Guntmas
My live chat sent to me
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the fifth day of Guntmas
My gambling sent to me
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the sixth day of Guntmas
My habits brought to me
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the seventh day of Guntmas
Digi's true love sent to me
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the eighth day of Guntmas
JCaesar sent to me
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the ninth day of Guntmas
IP2 Alice gave to me
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the tenth day of Guntmas
Old Jimbo sent to me
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the eleventh day of Guntmas
Adrienne Blair sent to me
Eleven blue-checks tweeting
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!

On the twelfth day of Guntmas
The Maker's said to me
Twelve ay-lawgs lawging
Eleven blue-checks tweeting
Ten car a-payments
Nine thumb in dances
Eight Pornhub milkings
Seven Meigh's a swimming
Six chairs a-sharting
Five real comped things
Four naughty words
Three weed pens
Two pidgen doves
And a summons sent to Las V!


----------



## HarveySperg41 (Dec 21, 2021)

On the Fourth day of Guntmass
Ralph’s haters gave to him
Four reckless driving tickets 
Three fights with Rand 
Two baby mamas
And restraining order from the Vickers.


----------



## veri (Dec 21, 2021)

HarveySperg41 said:


> On the Fourth day of Guntmass
> Ralph’s haters gave to him
> Four reckless driving tickets
> Three fights with Rand
> ...


on the fifth day of guntmas 
ralphs haters have to him 
five trips to vegas 
four reckless driving tickets 
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## Phucket (Dec 21, 2021)

On the sixth day of guntmas
Ralph's haters have to him
Six mc jarbo singles
Five trips to vegas
Four reckless driving tickets
Three fights with rand
Two baby mamas
And a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Dec 22, 2021)

Phucket said:


> On the sixth day of guntmas
> Ralph's haters have to him
> Six mc jarbo singles
> Five trips to vegas
> ...


On the seventh day of guntmas

Ralph's haters have to him

Seven bottles of Pepto bismol

Six mc jarbo singles

Five trips to vegas

Four reckless driving tickets

Three fights with rand

Two baby mamas

And a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## HarveySperg41 (Dec 22, 2021)

There's light at the end said:


> On the seventh day of guntmas
> 
> Ralph's haters have to him
> 
> ...



On the eighth  day of guntmas
Ralph's haters have to him
Eight medical emergencies 
Seven bottles of Pepto bismol
Six mc jarbo singles
Five trips to vegas
Four reckless driving tickets
Three fights with rand
Two baby mamas
And a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## draggs (Dec 22, 2021)

On the ninth day of Guntmas
Ralph's haters gave to him
NINE
MAKER'S
MAAAAAAAAAAAARKS


----------



## veri (Dec 22, 2021)

draggs said:


> On the ninth day of Guntmas
> Ralph's haters gave to him
> NINE
> MAKER'S
> MAAAAAAAAAAAARKS


on the tenth day of guntmas 
ralph’s haters gave to him
ten oxycodone 
nine makers marks 
eight medical emergencies 
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 24, 2021)

On the eleventh day of guntmas
Ralph's hater gave to him

Eleven bridges burned
ten oxycodone 
nine makers marks 
eight medical emergencies 
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Dec 24, 2021)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> On the eleventh day of guntmas
> Ralph's hater gave to him
> 
> Eleven bridges burned
> ...


On a twelfth day of guntsmas
Ralph's haters gave to him
Twelve times deplatformed
Eleven bridges burned
ten oxycodone
nine makers marks
eight medical emergencies
seven bottles of pepto bismol
six mc jarbo singles
five trips to vegas
four reckless driving tickets
three fights with rand
two baby mamas
and a restraining order from the vickers


----------



## Cucktry Roads (Dec 25, 2021)

Merry Guntmas everyone. Expect big things for Guntmas this year!
I'm Mister Gunt Christmas
I'm Mister Ralph
I'm Mister pigman
I'm Mister King Alpha
Friends call me Gunt Miser
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch
I'm too much!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Drunk Christmas
He's Mister Gunt

[Snow Miser:]
That's right!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Pigman
He's Mister King Alpha

[Snow Miser:]
Friends call me Gunt Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch

[Chorus:]
He's too much!

[Snow Miser:]
I never want to see a day
That's not even hot outside
I'd rather have it thirty,
forty, fifty, maybe even sixtyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Gunt Christmas
He's Mister Fat

[Snow Miser:]
That's right!

[Chorus:]
He's Mister Pigman
He's Mister King Alpha

[Snow Miser:]
Friends call me Gunt Miser,
What ever I touch
Turns to gunt in my clutch
... Too much.

[All:]
Too Much!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 25, 2021)

A aloggy Christmas album.
Written by Cal Rollia 



Spoiler: Track 1: Vienna



Nevada 
Parody of Vienna by Billy Joel
Written by Cal Rollia

Slow down you crazy drunk
So comped to get out of this funk
But then if you're so based tell me
Why are you still so chaste (hmm)

Burning bridges you barely have
Letting your thin skin get so railed up
You got so many booze and pills 
To do in a day (ay)

But you know your time is running out
Went from a z-celeb to having child brides
You're trying to live the fast life when it's not truuu (oooh)
When you realize....Nevada waits for you

Slow down your pretty fucked
Picking a fight with a coin merchant
That you won't finished in containment (tainment)

So sad, the harvest is ripe
That the only relevance you got is from snipes
Though you think Christ is kang
But you can't afford a good ring (good ring)

You got your passion, you got your pride
The alogs will watch you sneed?
But now went from a child to horse bride (ooh)
When you realize....Nevada waits for you

Slow down you crazy drunk
Driving to Vegas hoping your problem will fade
But you know are enterally felted by ade (ade)
When you realized...Nevada waits for you

And you know that when the truth is told
Xander will never know who you are when he's old
The children of the gunt will be better off without you (oooh)
When you realize, Nevada waits for you.











Spoiler: Track 2: Deck The Chunts



Deck the chunts
Parody of Deck the Halls
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Deck the chunts with Boughs of seethe
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Gunt's filled with tampoon breath
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Alogging now with this shanty
Bluh bluh blah blah la la la la
Trolling the gunt with scat filled panties
Bluh bluh bluh bluh la la la la

(Verse 2)
The sight of two gunts kissing
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la
In the shack with endless hissing
Say he's 5'1 all together
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la
Sharing laughs in cold weather
Bluh bluh blah blah blah la la la

(Verse 3)
Fast the way of guntmas past
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
I wish the holiday alogging last
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
Gunt's prison time is upon us
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la
Well if he don't that's a plus
Bluh bluh bluh la la la la



			https://youtu.be/SIFqnEoctI4
		







Spoiler: Track 3: Christmas (Xander Please Come Home)



Christmas (Xander please come home) Darlene Love
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) by Darling 
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
(Christmas)Your birther ass was thumbed
(Christmas) she's stealing you from me
(Christmas) lots of alogs around
(Christmas) Xander please come home

(Verse 2)
(Christmas) the shack is cold
(Christmas) an abode filled with mold
(Christmas) the uneasy movement in my bowls
(Christmas Xander please come home

(Chorus)
The alogs singing "deck the Chunt"
They haven't paid enough to see the gunt
'Cause I remember when your brither as here
I thumb her ass now she's Trying to Smear

(Verse 3)
(Christmas) I won't go to jail
(Christmas) im holding gator with blackmail
(Christmas) you should be here with me
(Christmas) xander please come home

(Chorus)
The alogs singing "deck the Chunt"
They haven't paid enough to see the gunt
'Cause I remember when your brither as here
I thumb her ass now she's Trying to Smear

(Outro)
(Christmas) If there is a way
To let manstu groom you
But it's Christmas day
Please X6
Xander please come home X4
Oh, yeah you damn alogs!
Christ is can't!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 25, 2021)

Spoiler: Track 1: Momma its Nawt Hot Outside



A aloggy Christmas album Singles

Momma its nawt hot outside
Parody of baby its cold outside by dean martin
Written by Cal Rollia


(Verse 1)
I really got to go (but it's not nawt outside
Ralph you gotta get up (it's nawt hot outside)
I have an appointment (my life is a disappointment)
At nine in the morning (the pills are for snorting)
I need the dialysis(ma I may have paralysis)
Why do you have a picture of a little girl (her name is soph)
There's cumstains in your hand (I can barely even stand)
Where is nora (she's a damn whora)
So have you talked to even (why ask this question)
You have a ton of hiccups (im just a little fucked up)
Ralph I really I need to go (my ass cant get up)
Say what's in this drink (A bunch of pills in this mark)
I wish evan wasn't deformed (Hath no fury like a woman's scorned)
 To take me to the doctor (I didn't choke her)
Ralph seriously get up ( you see im booze up)
Are you really going to make me call an Uber (you know im a very famous YouTuber)
Didn't you get banned? (But ma I got 50 grand)

(Chorus)
You need to get up (get over that old doubt)
Aw, but it's can't hot outside


(Verse 2)
You need to get up (it's not hot outside)
I'm not calling an Uber (it's nawt hot outside)
Is that nora's dildo (ma you can take a stroll)
I really need to get my dylasis (you know I don't need your analysis!)
Look at this room its mess (Ma you're putting too much stress)
Why dos your search history has scat (how about you suck a dick how about that!)
Why did you call flam autisitc (his social cues made me balistic)
Have you talked to shanny (he's nothing more than a Janny)
Well, could you at least your room(Well you buy me some rum)
I've got to go (But ma I can't get up)
Say, at least drive me there  (You can ask blair)
You really made me ashame (who is that to blame)
But ralphie get up (you hurting me more than Ronnie did)
This will surely back fire somehow (I only live for now)
Is your mic on (maybe it Is)


(Chorus)
You need to get up (get over that old doubt)
But momma it's nawt hot outside!!!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jan 1, 2022)

Come on Sandra
Parody of come on Eileen by Dexy Midnight Riders
Written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Verse 1)
Poor ol Ronnie Ralph
Left his two sons to get cigarettes
Leaving his family in massive debts
Oh Sandra cried
Cope along, who'd blame them
Ralph grown (he grown)
Evan grown (not really)
 I must say the genes are fucked as ever
Come on sandra
It's nawt truu ra
Hawt outside rye aye
And now sandra can look at Ralph in shame

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
At this moment
(Suck a dick)
You mean EVERYTHING
Call an uber
While im in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
Ah Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Verse 2)
These alogs round here
Spreading lies and documenting ethans life like they are Schizos
They're so pyscho admiring the gunt like it's lizzo
But not us
No never
No not us
Us gunt guards are young and clever
Remember!
It's nawt truu ra
Hawt outside rye aye
Sandra you didn't die in shame

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
Ah come on let
You don't Need ANYTHING
Forget about dialysis
Sandra
(No vaccines)
Ah come on lets
Ah Come on Sandra
Forget about dialysis
Sandra
(No vaccines)

(Bridge)
Ah Come On Sandra
Please..
Ah
Come on Sandra
Nawt truu la rye
Hot outside la aye
Come on Sandra
Trruu la rye
Now the kids have grown
Now the genes are fucked (hot outside aye)
Oh, Sandra
Come on Sandra
Come on Sandra

(Chorus)
Come on Sandra
Come On Sandra
Take a hike
(It's nawt truu)
At this moment
(Suck a dick)
You mean EVERYTHING
While ralph in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
Aah, come on Sandra
Come on Sandra (oh)
Come on Sandra (oh)
You mean EVERYTHING
(Come on! Come on!)
While ralph in a Stupor
Looking at soph dirty
On, Sandra!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jan 5, 2022)

I seen the doom and copium. Here's a parody that should cheer you guys up.

Coping in the fourm
Paroody of dancing in the dark by Bruce Springsteen
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I get up in the morning
The gunt pled no contest
I see the forum seething
You might think it's injustice
Faith nothing but a schizo
She's not a good witness
Calm down for a minute,  enjoy an expresso

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If don't you get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the fourm

(Verse 2)
There's so many cows to herd
Why should we have to fret
Pitting targets on a discord
The gunt should acknowledge my parodies
Got to let the cope go
I warned you guys about this
Sometimes you got to eat crow

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
If you don't get invested in lolsuits
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the fourm

(bridge)
Sitting here with black pills
You need dial back and enjoy the lols
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill
Come on alogs laugh with me
Search around for lolcows
I'm sure there's a plethora to find
Just Don't get too attached to them
They say you got to stay hungry
You know ralph can find another chick to thumb
We're dying for kino
I'm sick of sitting in cope
Trying to lock up the gunt
Stay werey of chomos
We just gotta find a cow to adjust

(Chorus)
You won't be felted
Hyping up lawyer who said he'll be in touch
I know it firsthand
Just don't go coping in the forum
You won't be felted
Figuring out how a election rigged
I know it first hand

(Outro)
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum
Just don't go coping in the forum


----------



## Kramer on the phone (Jan 5, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> To cheer you guys up, here's a parody that can cheer you guys up.
> 
> Coping in the fourm
> Paroody of dancing in the dark by Bruce Springsteen
> ...


here's a better song that fits better





the Vickers fucked themselves so hard its hilarious


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jan 5, 2022)

Gunt moves
Parody of Night Moves by Bob Seger
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
He's way too fat could've lose a few pounds
Any criticism, he's gonna flag you down
His pedobride losing her long brown mane
Took her car to Vegas for cocaine
Left her for cocaine

(Verse 2)
Stuck in a snow storm at Washington,
Traffic wasn't moving he could've sharted
If it wasn't for a black man he would lose oxygen

(Chorus)
Working on the gunt moves
Tryin' to get the sad and trad approve
Working on the gunt moves
In the wintertime
Mmm in the sweet winter time

(Verse 3)
They weren't in love- oh no far from it
The gunt would rather retweet the much younger alice 
Gator is already trying to simp for the fun of it
Tryin to pick her up
You can seethe away every chance you could
To Vegas, to Washington to slippery roads
You used her she used you, but neither one cared
Gator is waiting his turn

(Chorus)
Working on the gunt moves
Trying not to confuse meigh's hand for hooves
Working on the gunt moves
Mmm and it was winter time 
Mmmm sweet, wintertime
Wintertime

(Bridge)
She wishes to be more of cunt
We done the alogging
Yeah, she'll soon punt the gunt
Punt the gunt 
I woke up to the sound of holler
"It's not true" he said and I wondered
Started humming a parody from 2021
Ain't it funny how the gunt moves
Wondering how much the gunt has to lose
Strange how the gunt moves
With probation closing in.
(Outro)
Mmm, night moves, mmm
(Gunt moves) gunt moves
(Gunt moves) yeah
(Gunt moves) I remember
(Gunt moves) ah, I sure remember the night moves
(Gunt moves) ain't it funny how you remember?
(Gunt moves) funny how you remember
(Gunt moves) I remember, I remember, I remember, I remember
(Guny moves) oh, oh, oh

we were aloggin', snipin' and gayopin'
(Night moves) aloggin' and snipin'
(Gunt moves) oh, on the gunt moves, gunt moves
(Gunt moves) oh
(Gunt moves) I remember, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember
(Gunt moves) ooh
(Gunt moves) I remember, Lord I remember, Lord I remember
(Gunt moves) ha, ha, ooh-hoo
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
Uh huh, uh huh
I remember, I remember


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jan 10, 2022)

MC JARBO IS BACK WITH UP AND COMING ARTIST, ICUCCKS.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jan 21, 2022)

Opportunities (Lets make lots of kino)
Parody of Opportunities by Pet Shop Boys
Written by: Cal Rollia


(Chorus)

I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of


(Verse 1)
I've had enough seething
Be-Be-Being the gunt's lapdog
My views has declined
Relationships been Ch-Ch-Charred
I'm looking for a cohost
Someone to make content
Ask yourself this question
"Would like to be famous"


(Chorus)

I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of Kino


(Verse 2)

You can till i-i-im Grifter
Owned the libs at gamergate
Burning relationships as the host of the kumite
I can set up obs, fire up a new warpath
If you got the rage I got the wrath

Bridge
Oooh, there's a lot of opportunities
If you know how to capitalize you know
There's a lot of opportunities, if there aren't you can make them
Make or break them

(Chorus)
I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lots of
Ahhhhhhh
Kino
Ahhhhhhhh

(Verse 3)
You see I been through many cohosts
I earned the name retarded Phoenix
How'd you feel about it come take a walk with me?
I'm looking for a cohost regardless of expense
Think about it se-ser-seriously
You know it makes sense

Chorus

Let's (got the weed) make (I got the coke)
Let's make lots of kino (ooh kino)
(Rackets) you've got the flabs
(Jim) I've got the stutter
Let's make lots of kino (ooh kino)
I-I-I got the Coke
You've got the Weed
Let's make lots of kino
Yo-Yo- you got flabs
I got the stutter
L-L-LeT's Muh-muh makes lot of Kino


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 1, 2022)

Guntsbury Hill Parody of Solosbury Hill by
Peter Gabriel
 Written by Cal Rollia

 (Verse 1)
Thrown my broom at guntsbury hill
 I can see the brighter times
Don't have to be a shill
Gunt Hollerin at the night
 He was something to disavow
Came in close, I heard a voice He weeps what he sowed Had to listen had no choice

(Chorus 1)
I'm tired of being a gunt guard My career is best at the sweetie squad
Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
 "Andy," she said "you've been a father more than Ethan Ralph"

 (Verse 2)
People told me to break free I told them
"maybe im a little retarded"
Wouldn't it be funny to see him seethe
He couldn't admit that he sharted
So I went from day to day
The less I keep my mouth shut
 Defending Ralph just became gay
 It was easy for which connection I should cut

 (Chorus)
I'm tired of being part of the kill stream
 I want to watch another pillstream
 Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
"Andy," she said "you've been a father more
than Ethan Ralph"

 (Verse 3)
 When the pill bottles start to me
 Lying about how you got beat
 It was 4 guys you pirouette
 The house always wins I tweet
Ralph spite travel being belligerent
Thrown my broom and chains now im free No one taught him etiquette
There's a Puerto Rican Blonde for me

 (Chorus)
 Today I won't lick up any more gunt crease
I'm going to see my ratings increase
 Threw my broom it said plop plop plop plop
"Shanny" jim said "how you like to be my cohost"


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 1, 2022)

I'm holding out for a janny
Parody of I'm holding out for a hero
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Where have my good friends gone
Where all the mods
Disavowed and pilled
out I need a few good gunt guards
 Isn't there a paypig who can ride my firey steed
Late at night I holler and I turn to hold in my endless seethe!

(Chorus)
I need a janny
I'm holding out for a janny
 To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free and help with every spat
 I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than fat
 He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!
(It wasn't a shart)

 (Verse 2)
Somewhere after midnight
I found a Portuguese teen I
walked to her asking for service but 4 men start beating me!
Beaten and bruised the docs gave me a abundance of pills!
 Its gonna take a SuperJanny to secure the show that I built!

 (Chorus)
I need a janny
 I'm holding out for a janny To sweep the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free  and help with every spat I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
 Who tell me im big bone rather than fat
He's gotta so say that it's to not true that I stretch my leg it wasn't a shart! It wasn't a shart I need a janny!
 To sweep up the chat!

(Bridge)
Write a article without mention my daddy jim's name!
Now Jeremy's grifting skills is a shame!
 All you damn alogs is sucking my fame!
 But there's always a simp ready to serve Happy to lick off my crease!
I can feel his sweeping like a fire with swift Maneuver

((LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE
 LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE
LIKE A FIRE)


(Chorus)
I need a janny
 I'm holding out for a janny
 To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free
and help with every spat
I need a janny!
 I'm holding out for a Janny
Who tell me im big bone rather than than
 He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!
I need a janny
 I'm holding out for a janny
 To sweep up the chat
He's gotta he quick and will do it For free
 and help with every spat
 I need a janny!
I'm holding out for a Janny
 Who tell me im big bone rather than fat He's gotta say that it's not true that I just stretch my leg it wasn't a shart!


----------



## Johnny Clyde Cash (Feb 1, 2022)

*Don't Take Your Purse to Lisbon
Parody of 'Don't Take your Guns to Town'
Original Song by Johnny Cash*

A manlet named Ethan Ralph was seething from the farms
A wigger who was short on height, and even less on charm
He donned his gucci glasses
And his pants which were stained brown
But Gator cried as he walked out:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph Joker laughed, and kissed his mare, and said, "your Ralphamale's a king"
Once I'm done owning Warski, I'll get you a real ring
I'll be home for our baby girl, so don't let your long face frown!"
But Meigh cried as he toddled away:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph waddled from the airport with his gunt below his hips
The locals whispered to themselves, 'I hope that fat pig trips'
Lurching to the nearest bar, wearing his BK crown,
Ralph heard Dick's warning echo again:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Ralph drank his fifteenth Maker's Mark to calm his shaking hand
And tried to tell himself that this was all somehow God's Plan
A Moroccan couple at his side started to shake him down
And he heard again his mother's words:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around

Filled with rage then, the Ralphamale got up to start a fight
But the moors ganged up, and took his purse, and fled into the night
As Ralph was choking on his teeth, paramedics gathered 'round
And wondered at his whimpering words:

Don't take your purse to Lisbon
Leave your purse at home, Ralph
Don't carry that purse around


----------



## thismanlies (Feb 1, 2022)

To the tune of sea shanty Leave Her Johnny.

I thought I heard the ayylawgs say
"Leave her, Ethan, leave her
It's time to prove the haters wrong
And it's time for you to leave her"

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For she’s a pregnant horse bearing your child
And it's time for you to leave her!

Oh, the flight was long and you went alone
Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
From Virginia  to the Lisbon streets
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For the only thing you can eat is fast food
And it's time for you to leave her!

Oh, the beating was bad and they stole your purse
Leave her, Ethan, leave her
Just be glad you didn’t leave in a hearse
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For your dignity’s gone and so are your friends
And it's time for you to leave her!

It was Burger King and mayonnaise shrimp 
Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
You ate it ‘cuz it was all you could get
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For your face is bruised and your pride won’t heal
And it's time for you to leave her!

Well, it's time for your friends to say goodbye
Leave her, Ethan, leave her
For their respect for you is all pumped dry
And it's time for you to leave her

Leave her, Ethan, leave her!
Oh, leave her, Ethan, leave her
For all you have left are your pills and booze
And it's time for you to leave her!


----------



## FuzzMushr00m (Feb 3, 2022)

To celebrate the life of the Giorgio Armani manpurse and the whole Portugal thing here's some revisited Giorgio Moroder tracks:



Spoiler: Donna Summer - Sunset Mindset (How Ethan thought his spite trip was going to be)






			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyVOIG6PrfE
		


Late night flight, D.A.X.,
Limousine and you're all set
The sunset, my mindset

Streamer house a penthouse suite
The street's alive below your feet
The sunset, my mindset

Teenage girl, whiskey man
Snorting every gram he can
The sunset, my mindset

Swagging on every night
Underneath the neon signs
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright
The sunset, my mindset

Rich white guys, thumbing broads
Winning in the Lisbon roads
The sunset, my mindset

In between pretty girls
Still fourteen but know the world
On sunset, on sunset

Foreign bars, loads o'drugs
In this city we're the thugs
The sunset, my mindset

Warski sighs, copes and seethes
And his sister wants my dick
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright

Friday night, my timeslot
They don't know the clout I got
The sunset, my mindset

Life is hot, there's no rest
In this sector I'm the best
The sunset, my mindset

Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Sunset people, doin' it right - night after night
Sunset people, boarding the flight - just out of spite
Owning all of the haters allright
The sunset, my mindset





Spoiler: Giorgio Moroder - I Wanna Rob You (How the Gunt got targeted)






			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTuaWSfwnj8
		


I've been watching you dancin'
Just came to find a fat blob
I wanna show you my fight moves
And baby, I got a lot

Got the hots for your manpurse
I wanna try it for size
I wanna follow you out babe
With that drunk look in your eyes

And you walk in the night
Through an alley despite
Its incline, its incline

I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
I wanna assault you, all night long (all night long)
I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
All night long (all night long, all night long)

I've got the knuckles to move you
Fall back and faint for a while
I'll knock you out to high heavens
In the dead of the night

You're my night time yankee
I'm your night time Ahmed
Disheveled on the pavement
Oh look how much you have bled

Let me take that Armani
I will spend all your money
All night long, all night long

I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
I wanna assault you, all night long (all night long)
I wanna rob you, I wanna mug you
All night long (all night long, all night long)





Spoiler: He Got Fired - Amy Holland (How Gator lost his job)






			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doS6rwyIkfA
		


Don't be mistaken by the first impression
And watch out for that virginial expression
(Ooh-boy) He's not what she seems
(Ooh-boy) Don't judge from his streams
'Cause when he breaks away from the gunt
Gator is on the hunt, so run

He got fired
And he streams in the night til the break of light
He got fired
With the heat of the deets bringing the receipts
He got fired
And the name of the game is to reach e-fame
He got fired, fired, fired, fired

And so the beef with Shannon's your decision
But understand he's not quite like your minion
(Ooh-boy) I'm warning you now
(Ooh-boy) You sure you know how?
Cause he can take your life like your wife
Can molest a young child, DAS RIGHT

He got fired
And he streams in the night til the break of light
He got fired
With the heat of the deets bringing the receipts
He got fired
And the name of the game is to reach e-fame
He got fired, fired, fired, fired

He got fired,  and he's winning





Spoiler: The Neverending Harvest - Limhal (self explanatory)






			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHytjEj7B9g
		


Turn around
Look at what you see
In Guntsville
There’s barely any bridge

Nick Rekieta, Shannon Gaines
Gone over a slight
Written on his Twitter
Is the epic of a neverending harvest
aaaahhh

Jimbo’s gone
A new blood enemy
Daddy Jim
To him you were a king

Faith keeps Xander locked away
Like a shiny Roman coin
And there upon the court files
Is the sequel to a neverending harvest
aaaaahhh

Dax is there
How long we cannot say
As for Rand
He’s more in love than Meigh

Guntguards keep their secrets
But they’re all compelled to snake
As bridges burn the corn fields
Keep on carrying Ethan’s neverending harvest
aaaaaahhhh


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 3, 2022)

You guys are doing amazing work.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 3, 2022)

Do you really wanna felt me
Parody of Do you really want to hurt me by Culture Club
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
 Its not truu
 I did not poo myself
I'll holler over you
Spent so much dough on blow How can metokur run a coup

(Chorus)
Do you really want to felt me
Do you really want me make me seethe
Roasting my ego has scorned me Alogs using my expense for sneed

 (Verse 2)
In my gunt my rage is burnin Choose my height to find my star Damn alogs will always stalk me That's a step, a step to far


(Chorus)
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe

 (Verse 3)
Bridge are built meant to be broken
My friends are suppose to take my orders Bibble is nothing more than a token
Owning warski crossing the border
I've been hollerin but believe me
 That coin merchant took my son
that boy needs to see me
 I'm prepare to forget meigh's spawn

(Bridge)
If you want to make fun of I'll
 I'll gladly burn the bridge
 Remember the times we fun made of Matt It cant be over again

(Chorus)
 Do you really want to felt me
 Do you really want me make me seethe
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe
Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe Do you really want to felt me Do you really want me make me seethe


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 5, 2022)

Fear the metokur
Parody of don't fear the reaper by Blue Oyster Cult
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Here you are with friends gone
Streamer fear metokur
Laughing with a cough or a smoker
We can be like the sweeites are

(Chorus)
Come on lowcow don't fear the metokur
Your career is gone don't fear the metokur
Your numbers are down don't fear the metokur
I'm your top alog
La la la la la la la

(Verse 2)
You stormed into a house
Asking whos five' one
Jarbo and gamergate
Are together in eternity
Jarbo and gamergate
Ethics in journalism
Like jarbo and gamergate
Ethics in journalism
Redefine overweight
Another gamergate
Coming everyday
We can be like the sweeties are

(Chorus)
Come on lowcow don't fear the metokur
Your career is gone don't fear the metokur
Your numbers are down don't fear the tour
I'm your top alog
La la la la la la la

(Verse 3)
Bone fractured by the moors
eBay has found your murse
Tweeting up in the night of sadness
Pilled up and wounded on
Blocking friends while restless
Gator is doing better your you
Just admit that you're jealous
Saying don't be felted

(Alternative chorus)
Come on alog write the article in fear
Can't say name is out loud
Alogs looked around and said lul
Faith had took your xander
May will follow suit
You're the new chandler
Come on alog
Don't fear the metokur


----------



## veri (Feb 5, 2022)

where's the killstream janny?
parody of where is everybody? by nine inch nails


first my manpurse got snatched, then my pig face was smashed
i thought the portuguese were fans of mine
gambled away all my cash, now my wallet is bare
i'm just stuck with my mare while my views decline

then i sperged out at jim, thought i'd never burn that bridge
they never brought back killstream tv
now my situation is dire, my career's a trashfire
and i'm running out of places to stream

i need my vikes
to get through the night
write a seething article on my website
it turned out real bad, the paypigs are mad
gator has turned on me, i'll declare jihad

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?

i'll post your face to the /cow/ board
send zoom to go holler at your door
you're an alog now, snaking and faking
you traitor, why did you go and post those dms

they weren't supposed to see them
i haven't had one drink since my mama died
i'll give may a black eye, commit homicide
i've been defied, by both may and eagle eyes

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?

streaming and screaming
and posting and coping
doxing, blocking
where's the killstream janny?

drinking and sharting
banning, jannying
coping and seething
where's the killstream janny?


----------



## Bonanza Jellybean (Feb 6, 2022)

Jim (Stan Parody)
built off of this guys verse


Ethan Ralph is 5'1 said:


> Dear Mister "I'm Too Good to Come on Stream and Save My Fans"...
> This will be the last tweet I ever send your ass!
> It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it???
> I know you got my last two DMs, I wrote the hangout links on 'em perfect! *hick*
> ...




My fans are gone I'm wondering why I
Got on stream at all
Some dudes in Lisbon stole my man-purse
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be a-logs
Posting pictures on the Farms
They remind me, that you’re not my dad
You’re not my dad

Dear Jim, I DMed you but still ain't callin'
I left my discord, my hangout, and my skype name at the bottom
I sent two DMs back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem with my pig hooves or somethin'
Sometimes I type out usernames too sloppy when I’m drinkin’
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your cancer?
My girlfriend's pregnant man, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'm a call her?
I'ma name her O’Shaunessey
I read about your name change too, I'm sorry
I wouldn’t change my name my daddy gave me
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the one stream where you fingered Jem
I got a folder full of your videos and your pictures man
I like the shit you did on Channel Awesome too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Ralph

CHORUS

Dear Jim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me on stream
You didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Pantsu
That's my girlfriend man, she's into six year olds
We waited in the blistering cold for you
For four hours and you just said, "lol."
That's pretty shitty man, you're like her fuckin' idol
She wants to be just like you man, she likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein' lied to
Remember during Gamergate, you said if I kept streaming you would come back
See I'm just like you in a way
I never liked The StepFather neither
Ronnie used to always cheat on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your streams
So when I have a shitty day, I pop some pills and have a drink
'Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of IA across the chest
Sometimes I even shit myself to see how much it stinks
It's like adrenaline, the smell is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Jim, no one does
She don't know what it was like for people like us comin’ up, you gotta call me man
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Ralph
P.S. we should be together too

CHORUS

Dear Mister "I'm Too Good to Come on Stream and Save My Fans"...
This will be the last tweet I ever send your ass!
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it???
I know you got my last two DMs, I wrote the hangout links on 'em perfect! *hick*
Shhhooo... this is my death threat I'm sending you, I hope you read it.
I'm in my Nissan now, I'm doing 90 and on my way!
Hey Jim, I drank two bottles of Maker's!
I'm just so fucking sad!
You know the song by Da Gunt, "World's Best Dad"??
Clownin' me, my life and my dreams of seeing my son Xander...
That's what it should be like with you and me, this aint just banter!
You should have been there so they wouldn't call me "fatty"!
Now it's too late, and you'll never be my daddy!
And all I wanted was a lousy tweet or a call!
I hope you know I ripped all of your posters off the wall!
I love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it!
You ruined it now, I hope your ass gets covid and you stream about it!
And when you stream I hope your headset breaks and you scream about it!
I hope your cancer eats at you and you dream about me!
See Jim... shut up May! I'm tryin' to holla!
Hey Jim, that's my woman countin' our last dollar.
We spent it all on gas, pills and a used .45! I hope you're ready to die...
I thought you were my father but it was all a fucking lie.
Well, gotta go, we're almost at your house now...
Oh shit, without Gator, how am I supposed to stream this shit out?

CHORUS

Dear Ralph, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that
And here's an autograph for Evan
I wrote it on this 4-star cap
I'm sorry I went on Gator's stream, I must of missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to shit your pants too?
I say that shit just clownin' dog, come on, how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Ralph, I think you need some counseling
To help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this Brokeback shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit will make me not want us to stream with each other
I really think you and your girlfriend need each other
Or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
Before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin' just fine
If you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Ralph
Why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and leaked his sextape on a stream
Of his girlfriend getting thumbed, and she was only 18
And in his truck they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was Ralph.. it was you
Damn!


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Feb 7, 2022)

Guntwave
[Intro]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

[Verse]
Welcome Ethan Ralph
Come to me through Maker’s and pills
Ooh, ooh
Come, Ethan Ralph
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh
Lay down your bottle
It is not too late to be sober
Ooh, ooh
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh, ooh, ooh

[Chorus]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph

[Verse]
Welcome Ethan Ralph
Come to me through Maker’s and pills
Ooh, ooh
Come, Ethan Ralph
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh
Lay down your bottle
It is not too late to be sober
Ooh, ooh
Come and look upon the Farms, upon the Farms
Ooh, ooh, ooh
[Chorus]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll, troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll

[Bridge]
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape
No Xanax or cheapest whisky can work in this place
There is no escape

[Outro]
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
What a grand and intoxicating innocence
I'm a troll
How can you kill a troll?
Shame on you, sweet Ethan Ralph
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll, troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll
I'm a troll


----------



## Schmeated Ted (Feb 9, 2022)

So I guess this is where I was supposed to post this originally.


Schmeated Ted said:


> BPD and Xannyberries
> Conceited with low self-esteem
> He's an Alt-Right dream if you hate yourself
> Premature gray hair and obnoxious clothes
> ...


----------



## There Is Light At The End (Feb 10, 2022)

I think it's an anthem for this subforum. I called it Guntboard Time
It's Guntboard Time,
C'mon grab your friends,
We'll go to very disgusting lands.
With Ralph the Gunt and
Null the Human,
The fun will never end,
It's Guntboard Time!


----------



## Stoneheart (Feb 10, 2022)

worker drones, we need something  like this 





if he ever threatens to pay some local to fuck up Null


----------



## SargonF00t (Feb 11, 2022)

Surely some of you cunts must be into karaoke?

If so, do some of these Gunt lyrics to the original music.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 11, 2022)

It's nice seeing the thread live on with some banger hits. Been sick over the past week and it's nice seeing the new guard taking the fort while I recover. Keep shantying, shanties.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Feb 12, 2022)

This thread is in good hands without me, after my coof I decided to take a sabbatical of parodies and let the new guard write the shanties. Until I get my muse back. I have 4 parodies left to release until my "retirement."


Benzos
Parody of Spirits by Strumbellas
Written by Cal Rollia

(Chorus)
I got benzos in my hand
And they won't shake
Bottles in my hand
And they won't shake
I got benzo  in my hand
And they won't shake
Bottles in my hand
And they won't

(Verse 1)
I been sitting on tequila Sunrise tonight
And I think oh, I just burned another bridge
I'll be a legend till the day I die
But I still have a baby momma to ditch
But im the ralphamale
The alogs said I was going to jail

(Chorus)
I got benzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake
The gunt still sags the gunt still sags oooh
I got benzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake


(Verse 2)
I spent the week on the run
Even though I got a horse for a bride
I see alogs are having fun
Meigh get me marks in the fridge
I won't ever seen my son
But I'll ask whos five one

(Chorus)
I got benzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake
The gunt still sags the gunt still sags oooh
Ii got venzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake

(Bridge)
And I don't want to see my expecting wife
Like I wouldn't get vax while my mom was still here
And I don't want to see my expecting wife
Like I wouldn't get the vax while my mom was still here
And I did not shart myself on stream
I'm the one who created this ibs sphere

(Chorus)
I got benzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake
The gunt still sags the gunt still sags oooh
Ii got venzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake
I got benzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake
The gunt still sags the gunt still sags oooh
Ii got venzos in my hand and they won't shake
Bottles in my hand and they won't shake


----------



## zyclonPD (Feb 16, 2022)

I've been tryna stream
I've been without Nora for long enough
Maybe you can show me how to love, Meigh please
I'm going through withdrawals
I don't even do too much
You can  make me rage with just a touch, baby
I look around and
Gunt City's cold and empty (oh)
No co-hosts around to help me (oh)
I can't think clearly when the pills are gone
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the Gunt
No, I can't sleep until I Smell her butt
I said, ooh, I'm drowning in this Rye
Oh, when I'm like this, you're one I can't trust



I'm running out of time
'The A-logs stream sniping me up
So I hit the road in overdrive, baby, oh
Gunt city's cold and empty (oh)
No co-hosts around to alog me (oh)
I can't see clearly when my booze is gone
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the Gunt
No, I can't sleep until I beat her up
I said, ooh, I'm drowning in pills and Rye
Oh, when I'm like this, you're the one I bust
I'm just tweeting out to let you know ( to let you know)
I can never say it on the stream (say it on the stream)
Will never let you go this time (ooh)
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the Gunt
No, I can't sleep until I dox his house
(Hey, hey, hey)
I said, ooh, I'm blinded by the Gunt
No, I can't sleep until I Pill it Up


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 18, 2022)

Seething time 
Parody of Closing Time by Semisonic
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Seething time
I lost all my friends 
Just a matter of 2 years
Seething time
In this game 
You can't have a lot of peers
Seething time
Stuck in another  country 
Pilled up and bruised
Wondering to choose from 
Marks or beer
Seething time
Hospital told me 
That without the vax
I must get out of here

(Chorus)
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat 
Sweep up the chat 

(Verse 2)
Seething time
Time for me to write 
Up A spite article on the retort
Seething time
In stuck In this shack
While pantsu find a girl to court
Seething time
So start up the auditions
To find a new gunt guard
To be my new reptile
Seething time
Every now and then
May becomes my target
For projectiles

(Chorus)
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat 
Sweep up the chat 

(Bridge)
Seething time
Time for you 
Go out of the
Clinic after the
Feltening 

(Chorus)
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat 
Sweep up the chat 
Sweep the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat
Now who will I trust 
To sweep up the chat 
Sweep up the chat 
Sweep up the chat

(Outro)

Seething time
Every new 
Bridge burned
Comes from his
Own expense


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 19, 2022)

Guntedwall
Parody of Wonderwall  by oasis
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Today is gonna be the day
Where you were left by pantsu
By now you doing a show
Less than 80 views
I don't believe that
Anybody think your views
is true

(Verse 2)
Skid marks
Overblowing a debate as a marquee
 The truth is over the past 3 years you lost the spark
I'm sure you you drown yourself in copes believe you're winning
 I don't believe that
Anybody think your views
is true

(Prechrous)
All of the friendships are decreasing
You know that your views are declining
There are many alt-tech sites that would be glad to
Disavow you

(Chorus)
Because maybe
You'll never see your babies
After all
You're the gunted wall

(Verse 3)
Today is gonna be the day
You rather do a stream than see pantsu
By now you're on Twitter tweeting how's its not true
I don't believe that
Anybody think your views
is true

(Prechrous)
All of the friendships are decreasing
You know that your views are declining
There are many alt-tech sites that would be glad to
Disavow you

(Chorus)
Because maybe
You'll never see your babies
After all
You're the gunted wall

(Outro)
Because maybe (maybe)
You'll never see your babies (babies)
You'll never see your babies (babies)
You'll never see your babies (babies)


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 19, 2022)

Beta Male
Animal by Mike Snow
Written by Cal Rollia

(verse 1) 
There was a time when
 My career was filled with
 Darkness, darkness, darkness
 Got of prison hoping To make a career out of something Something, something Exposed matt as flaggot With the help of zidan long Long Long Ago But still trying to make my up Should I or should not burn this bridge

 (Chorus) 
Gunts change shapes just to 
Hide from critics but im still 
I'm still a beta male 
Hollering over people is the 
Only trick I know, I know I'm still an beta male

 (Verse 2) 
There is a void in my gunt 
I tried to fill up with 
benzos, Benzo, benzo
 It gets bigger with any substance I go to Go to go to 
In alogs eyes they see a man who screams Its nawt truu that
 ( he did not poo)
 I realize all my friends are shysters Should I or should not burn this bridge

 (Chorus) 
Gunts change shapes just to 
Hide from critics but im still
 I'm still a beta male Hollering I'ver people is 
the Only trick I know, I know I'm still an beta male
 Gunts change shapes just to 
Hide from critics but 
im still I'm still a beta male
 Hollering over people is the Only trick I know,
 I know I'm still an beta male
 Gunts change shapes just to Hide 
from critics but im still I'm still a beta male
 Hollering over people is the Only trick I know, I know I'm still an beta male Gunts change shapes just to Hide 
from critics but im still I'm still a beta male 
Hollering over people is the Only trick I know, I know I'm still an beta male


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 23, 2022)

Chudthumping
Parody of tubthumping by Chumbawamba
Written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Now we snipin
Now we alogin
Now we snipin

(Chorus)
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down

(Verse 1)
Alogging the night away
Alogging the night away
Ralph drinks a markers mark
Jewel snorting Crack
Pantsu is watching lolicon
Tonka makes us yawn
We watch tea clips for the archives
Because American pride stop doing archives

(Chorus)
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down

(Verse 2)
Alogging the night away
Alogging the night away
Ralph drinks a markers mark
Jewel snorting Crack
Pantsu is watching lolicon
Tonka makes us yawn
We watch tea clips for the archives
Because American pride stop doing archives

(Chorus)
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down
We get flagged down but we snipe again
 No lolcow can't keep us down

(Chorus)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (when we're aloggin)
We got flagged down (we'll be snipin) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (oooh)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (when we're aloggin)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (ooh)


(Chorus)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again (aloggin the night away)
No lolcow can't keep us down (when we're aloggin)
We got flagged down (we'll be snipin) but we snipe again (aloggin the night away)
No lolcow can't keep us down (ooh)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again (aloggin the night away)
No lolcow can't keep us down (we'll be snipin)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (when we're aloggin)
We got flagged down (we'll be sniping) but we snipe again
No lolcow can't keep us down (ooh)


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Mar 23, 2022)

Viva la Gunta
Parody of viva la Vida by Coldplay
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I used to run bloodsports
Now I'm stuck in a loop of courts
Now in the morning I shake xandra
Wishing I could rename Xander
I used to say Memphis ten
Hoping for my career rise again
Remembering ziden propelling my career
Breeding a mere, chugging the beer
One minute I was an eceleb
Now I'm drowning from my seethe
Under my bed is empty bottles of marks 
Sniffing May's fart sitting in my sharts

(Chorus)
 I hear that fag flamenco is streaming
That shyster lawyer is laughing
Where's gator, my sword and shield 
My simps are sweeping the field
For some reason I can't explain
My career is forever scathed 
Now I sit alone thinking 
I used to run bloodsports

(Verse 2)
My horse gave me the pass
To fuck a bunch of black whores
Blowing baby materials on Crack
Spent more money on liquor I pour
Damn dirty Alogs wait
For my gunt in a silver plate
Making fun of my fetish of anus
Oh, who ever want to be efamous

(Chorus)
 I hear that fag flamenco is streaming
That shyster lawyer is laughing
Where's gator, my sword and shield 
My simps are sweeping the field
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Augustin would call me friend 
Now I sit alone thinking 
I used to run bloodsports

Chorus)
Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh
Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh
Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh
Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh
 I hear that fag flamenco is streaming
(Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh)
That shyster lawyer is laughing
(Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh)
Where's gator, my sword and shield 
(Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh)
My simps are sweeping the field
(Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh)
For some reason I can't explain
(Oh-oh-woah, oh-oh, oh)
I know Saint Augustin wouldn't call me friend
Now I sit alone thinking 
I used to run bloodsports

(Outro)
Mom, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mom, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mom, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mom, mmm....


----------



## AltisticRight (Mar 25, 2022)

Oh! Rozander​Artist: Stephen Foster
Album: Minstreal Songs

Oh! Rozander. Don't you cry for me,
I'm going to Las Vegas,
With my tracker on my knee

I came from West Memphis
With my tracker on my knee
I'm going to Las Vegas
Plenty Black hookers for me to seed
It rained all night the day I left
Her pussy it was dry
The slots were such alogs, I coped myself
Rozander don't you cry

Oh! Rozander, don't you cry for me,
I'm going to Las Vegas, with my tracker on my knee.

Oh! Roz! Zander! Don't Jews Cry For Me!
I'm going to Las Vegas, with my tacker on my knee.

I jumped aboard the discount jet,
And waddled down Lisbon street,
the alogging hatred maginified,
And five hundred niggers I fought.
the purse bust, the horse run off,
I really thought I'd die;
I shut my eyes to hold my breath,
Rozander, don't you cry.

Oh! Roz! Zander! Don't Jews Cry For Me,
I've come from West Memphis, with my tracker on my knee.

I had a dream the other night
When everything was still;
I thought I saw Rozander,
tumbling down the hill.

The buckwheat tulips in her mouth,
The tear was in her eye,
Says I'm coming from the South,
Rozander, don't you cry.
Oh! Roz! Zander! Don't Jews Cry For Me,
I've come from West Memphis, with my tracker on my knee.

I soon will be in New York,
And then I'll snout all around,
And when I find Rozander,
I fall upon the ground.
But if I do not find her,
I might surely seethe,
And when I'm paper aborted,
Rozander, don't you cry.

Original with uncensored lyrics, it's quite racist (pronounced: based).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lhBYeufe1c 

Modern-ish version with racist lyrics removed.


			https://youtu.be/4QNUePs_pQ4


----------



## Weeb Slinger (Mar 29, 2022)

The Trials of Rozanna Sandra

Papa was a rolling eighteen stone
wherever he laid his tiny bone was his home 
Always thumb-deep in the shit
of some chick from a troubled home

Could never settle down on the manure of one stable
Drops his world onto the blackjack table
A shrinking skyline of chips 
fading into narrow green horizons, 
His downward spiral 
comped by the Las Vegas Strip 

His poor life choices so transparent to all 
You can see the felt through 
the bad hands he's been dealt
He goes bust and tells his dealer “Hit me.
break my orbital and take the self worth 
I kept inside my eight-hundred dollar man-purse.” 

This is where you enter the stage
washed-up at a tender age 
beached on the doorstep 
of some Virginia crack-shack 
with a memo to God 
taped to your back: “Kick me” 
Your first words clinging
to a torn and soiled page  

Your birth only serving to lower
your father's respect for the fairer sex
while he lays the foundation 
for your early damnation. 


The trials of Rozanna Sandra
born into a life of online drama 
The trials of Rozanna Sandra
thrown headlong into a world of trauma


Mum's not much better
equine of face and, of course,
far dumber than the average horse

Annoying in the flesh and on paper
He ex-boyfriend 
became a bearded lady 
to escape her 

Yet to be revealed 
is how her liking for lolita porn
will impact upon 
the well-being of her firstborn 
Will it lay a wound 
that can't be healed?

Or will her partner's 
absence and infidelity 
break the home
and break the world of 
their little girl, we'll see 


The trials of Rozanna Sandra
born into a life of online drama 
The trials of Rozanna Sandra
thrown headlong into a world of trauma


----------



## Hüftpriester (Mar 30, 2022)

I'm sorry Ray Davies. You're a brilliant songwriter and don't deserve to have your words butchered like this. But I couldn't help myself.

Parody of the Kinks "Rosie Won't You Please Come Home?" from their excellent album _Face to Face_

Rozy won't you please come home?
Sorry mama touched you there
Rozy won't you please come home?
You'll be safe from her predation

Oh my Rozy, how I miss you
I won't leave you alone with Meigh
All the alawgs they're laughin at me
Cause I'm not the world's best dad

Rozy won't you please come home?
Since you've joined your brother Zanda
I've been drinking so much more
And raping e-girls on a bender

Rozy, Rozy, will you write and tell me
If you're never coming back?
I would sacrifice 2 trips to Vegas
Just to have you back in my sty.

Rozy won't you please come home?
I've kicked Meigh out, don't be afraid
She won't touch you anymore
Or make you get that surgery.

Rozy, Rozy, got any answers?
You are miles away from me
And I'll order Arby's if you tell me
You're on the first plane home

Rozy won't you please come home?
Sorry mama touched you there
Rozy won't you please come home?
You'll be safe from her predation

Oh my Rozy, how I miss you
I won't leave you alone with Meigh
All the alawgs they're laughin at me
Cause I'm not the world's best dad

Oh Rozy, will you please come back?


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 1, 2022)

Copes
Parody of lies by fleetwood Mac
Written by cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
If I could turn the script
Flagging anyone who would clip
My show without my permission
It's a slippery, slippery, slippery slope
I will always correct the record
I didn't nonconsenually shove my chode
Inside of Alice
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell copes

(Chorus)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Tell me, tell me, tell me copes)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Oh, no, oh, no, oh, you can't disguise)
You can't disguise, no, can't disguise
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes

(Verse 2)
I didn't back out of the show
I'm going to deprive aylawgs kino
It's my only hope
It's a slippery, slippery, slippery slope
Hollering outside the studio
To make up the mirco I'm bestowed
Let's give it a try
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell copes

(Chorus)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Tell me, tell me, tell me copes)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Oh, no, oh, no, oh, you can't disguise)
You can't disguise, no, can't disguise
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes

(Verse 1)
If I could turn the script
Flagging anyone who would clip
My show without my permission
It's a slippery, slippery, slippery slope
I will always correct the record
I didn't nonconsenually shove my chode
Inside of Alice
Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell copes

(Chorus)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Tell me, tell me, tell me copes)
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes
(Oh, no, oh, no, oh, you can't disguise)
You can't disguise, no, can't disguise
Tell me copes
Tell me sweet little copes


----------



## Reluctant Baron (Apr 4, 2022)

Piggy eyes,
Income lies, 
Horse-faced e-girls frantic cries.

Bastard Children gal or boy
Piggy sires them all with joy

Sneed, Chuck, Chuck, Sneed
Piggy sows his vile seed

Not a light pole is left to stand
When Piggy drives across the land

After reaping revenge porn charges, 
And showing he likes womens discharges,
He still had show he was the worst
And so in Portugal he lost a purse
To settle a beef with studerin Andy, 
That he failed at, he wasn’t so dandy

Now Kiwi farms is rife with cheer
Piggy have fear, 
The Harvest, it is here. 

Christ. Is. KANG.

Song


----------



## Hüftpriester (Apr 7, 2022)

Woke up this Morning (Got yourself a Gunt)

Shoutout to @temp o'rary @Jabba2988 and @Sirfaggot who all contributed in the Kingpin thread.

Woke up this morning
Got yourself a gunt


Your babymama said you'd be the chosen gunt

Your Gunt's one in a million
And it's filled with slime 
But you were born under a bad sign
With a blood clot in your eye

Slept in this morning
'Cause of all that maker's mark (lord above)
Things ain't been the same
Since Rekieta watched you shart

I was moving my leg,
if I shit I'd just admit it, (hell I could)
sit here and shit myself
and still make hundreds bitch


Woke up this morning (with a blood clot)
With a blood clot in your eye

Slept in this morning
'Cause of all that maker's mark (lord above)
Things ain't been the same
Since Rekieta watched you shart

Your Gunt's one in a million
And it's filled with slime (shame about it)
But you were born under a bad sign
With a blood clot in your eye

Woke up this morning
Got yourself a gunt
Got yourself a gunt
Got yourself a gunt


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 7, 2022)

Rapamale
Parody of Magic Man by Heart
Written by Cal Rollia


(Verse 1)

Cold late night not long ago
Rejected Ralph but we can be friends though
His gunted self gave me Yeager 
Never saw eyes filled with anger
Felt tipsy he asked for head
I rejected once more as I pled
Once I passed out he had his way with, his way with me
Me

Chorus
Come on Alice, take another swig
I said I could pass out if I did
But try to understand, try to understand 
Try try try to Understand I'm the rapamale


(Verse 2)
Woke up to the screams
Of the man raging on stream 
I asked him "If i gave him Felliato"
He replied "of course you cleaned the mirco"
Days later he told people how to treat a hoe
May called in a hurry, my memory is blurry

(Chorus)
Come on Alice help me leave ralph
That's what I been telling you for awhile
Try to understand Try to understand 
Try try try try to Understand
He's the rapamale

(Chorus)
Come on Alice the gunt said
"Push a bitch down the toliet" to get head
But try to understand, try to understand 
Try try try to Understand I'm the rapamale

(Chorus)
Come on Alice, take another swig
I said I could pass out if I did
But try to understand, try to understand 
Try try try to Understand I'm the rapamale


----------



## We Wuz Kais (Apr 15, 2022)

Johnny Clyde Cash said:


> *Don't Take Your Purse to Lisbon
> Parody of 'Don't Take your Guns to Town'
> Original Song by Johnny Cash*
> 
> ...


I did your song


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 15, 2022)

Piglet with Baphomet Wings
Parody of Bullet with Butterfly wings by Smashing Pumpkins
Written by Cal Rollia and Hüftpriester

(Verse 1)
My girl is a pedophile
Fixing to drain
Unbeknownst minors
To feed my desire of Coprophilia
And do I get
My feet on the fire
Corrupt Shysters
step me up like a game

(Pre-Chorus)
Even on my show
Jannies ban my trolls
Still I’ve never known
Bowel controoooool

(Chorus)
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
The spawn of a hog and a horse can never be saved
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page


(Verse 2)
Now I'm Hollerin
Nothing but a rage pig
Pantsu is swallowing
Seed from my baby dick
And what do you want
I'm still gonna flag
And what do I get?
Betrayed by the first fag

(Pre-Chorus)
Even on my show
Jannies ban my trolls
Still I’ve never known
Bowel controoooool

(Chorus)
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
The spawn of a hog and a horse can never be saved
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page

(Middle  
Tell me my dick isn't small
I just wasn't fully hard
Please don't trust your lyin eyes, nawt truu
Tell me my dick isn't small
I just wasn't fully hard
Please don't trust your lyin eyes, nawt truu


(Interlude)
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page
The spawn of a hog and a horse can never be saved
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page

(Chorus)
Despite all my rage my wife....
Despite all my rage my wife....
Despite all my rage my wife still looks like Elliot Page


(Bridge)
Tell me my dick isn't small
I just wasn't fully hard
Please don't trust your lyin eyes, nawt truu

(Outro)
I cope and seethe cause I'm cross eyed and gay
I cope and seethe cause I'm cross eyed and gay
I cope and seethe cause I'm cross eyed and gay


----------



## We Wuz Kais (Apr 15, 2022)

*Whole Two Miles *

(500 Miles - The Proclaimers)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes streaming the Killstream
and I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk on his stream
and when I hollar 
Yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who hollars on killstream

But I would Walk a Whole Two Miles
And I would walk a Whole Two More
Just to be the man who walked a whole two miles
To own Jim on my Stream

And when I'm broken (when I'm broken)
Yes I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's been broken on his stream
And when the money (and when the money)
Don't come in from my 5 views
I'll be sure to blame it on Josh Moon
And when the Kiwis (when the kiwis)
Yeah, I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who reads it on his stream
I'm gonna be the man who reads it on his stream

But I would Walk a Whole Two Miles
And I would walk a Whole Two More
Just to be the man who walked a whole two miles
To own Josh on my Stream

Da da lat da (Da da lat da)
Da da lat da (Da da lat da)
... Etc... x5

Da da lat da (Daddy Jimbo)
Da da lat da (Daddy Jimbo)
... Etc...

But I would Walk a Whole Two Miles
And I would walk a Whole Two More
Just to be the man who walked a whole two miles
To own Rand on my Stream
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Might try to do this one later


----------



## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 16, 2022)

Six year old song about Ralph raping and murdering that woman behind Arbies.

Worth a listen.


----------



## We Wuz Kais (Apr 17, 2022)

katonic said:


> *Whole Two Miles *
> 
> (500 Miles - The Proclaimers)
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ...


Won't let me edit post so I fixed lyrics in reply.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 22, 2022)

Disavowed from odyssey
Parody of in the city by The Eagles
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I wasn't given my 30k contract
It put me in blinded rage
How that Indian deny the fact
I'm hitching my wagon to cozy
Of catbois committing hundred acts of Sodomy
I'm looking for ways to abandon rozy

(Hook)
(Ooh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
(Ooh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)

(Verse 2)
I just got spregged on odyssey
It was last resort
I'm shooting all allies with hostility
Apparently you can abort the retort
Turned out there wasn't a 30k contract
I've burned every bridge I paved
I don't think it's going to get any better
I'm going to drain May's bank account

(Hook)
(Ooh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
(Ooh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)

(Outro)

Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
Disavowed from odyssey (oh, oh)
Disavowed from odyssey....


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Apr 22, 2022)

Where's my Site
Parody of Where's my mind by the Pixies
Written by Cal Rollia & @Hüftpriester

(Intro)
Ooh,stop

(Verse 1)
Ooh
Ooh
With your feet in the air and your gunt on the ground
Too addicted to Coke to sling it yeah
Your career will collapse
There's nothing left of it
And you asked yourself

(Chorus)
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
It's down in the toliet
Spreging at Jullian

(Verse 2)
I was sperging on all my detractors
Aylawgs were hiding behind fake accounts
They said my wife’s a horse
But with the right filters
She looks more like fish

(Chorus)
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
It's down in the toliet
Spreging at Jullian

(Verse 3)
With your feet in the air and your gunt on the ground
Too addicted to Coke to sling it yeah
Your career will collapse
There's nothing left of it
And you asked yourself

(Chorus)
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
Where's my Site
It's down in the toliet
Spreging at Jullian

(Outro)
Ooh
With your feet in the air and your gunt on the ground
Too addicted to Coke to sling it yeah
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh


----------



## TheAntiE-CelebLeague00 (May 16, 2022)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoAn7lEtSCY
		



			https://web.archive.org/web/20220516044100/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoAn7lEtSCY
		


This song predicted many things!


----------



## trickyzerg23 (May 16, 2022)

**sing to the tune of Bat-Man**

Nigger!

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger
Nigger!

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger
Nigger!

Nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger ...

NIGGER!
Nigger!
Nigger


----------



## There Is Light At The End (May 25, 2022)

trickyzerg23 said:


> **sing to the tune of Bat-Man**
> 
> Nigger!
> 
> ...


I would replaced nigger to wigger


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (May 27, 2022)

Disheveled
Unreveled by TK
written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Why doesn't he love me
My dad doesn't love me
Enough To be part of my life
He waited for a year, to declare paternity
I feel so used, oh so used
By my own family
But compared to Rozy
I got off Mercifully 


(Verse 1)
Now im 1 years old Haven't seen my dad
Replaced by a reroll
I Cant believe, rather than see me he gets beaten by a chav

(Pre-Chorus)
Freeze
Unguntable, unthumbedable 
my mom is fucked and Schizo
I don't know how this story will end


(Chorus)
My dad has barely put a fight to see me
Instead he's on the internet Seething 
He couldn't be assed, to give me a present
But a picture of Sandra
I'm stuck between in a rock in hard place
Being used as a weapon for a bunch of nutcases
I just want to be a normal baby
As what its meant to be

(Verse 2)
Memories fuzy of the multiple times I went to Disneyland 
My father is 2 and 0 getting felted in lisbon 
I cannot move, I cannot see, I cannot breathe,I cannot see 
I can't believe I'm 
Disheveled from the World!

(Verse 3)
My stepfather is a spic
I'm glad I won't see that horse faced chick
Hopefully I won't inherit the gunt
I hope my grandpa stop the stunts

(Prechorus)
Unguntable,  unguntable 
He wished i was aborted unabortable
I hope to contame the wigger

(Chorus)
My dad has barely put a fight to see me
Instead he's on the internet Seething 
He couldn't be assed, to give me a present
But a picture of Sandra
I'm trapped in this ralphamale cycle
Hoping to throwaway the Demon baby title
I just want to be a normal baby
As what its meant to be
As what its meant to be

(Outro)
Why doesn't he love me
My dad doesn't love me


----------



## HamsterEater96 (Jun 2, 2022)

To the tune of  "welcome to the black parade" by my chemical romance

When I was, a guntling
My father took me into the city
To bet on a Cheifs game

He said son when you grow up
Will you leak, revenge porn of your girlfriend
Whose barely legal aged

He said will you, defeat them
The A-logs , and all the kiwifarmers
The threads that they have made

Because one day, I'll leave you
A ragepig, that leads you in the summer
To join the gunt parade

When I was, a guntling

My father took me into the city

To bet on a Cheifs game

(

He said son when you grow up

Will you leak, revenge porn of your girlfriend

Whose barely legal aged

)

Sometimes I think the A-logs
We're watching over me
When I shit myself on Dlive last July

And I smell like shit, with double tits
In the middle of the hood
But I just want you fuckers all to know

That I'll carry on
I'll carry on
And even if I'm mugged by nigs in Lisbon
The killstream will carry on
It will carry on
And In my gunt I can't explain it
My pants can not contain it


I have a bunch of swampland
And a hundred dollar ring
And my giant Nissan truck I can't afford

The A-logs all are showing up 
Outside my fucking house 
And fucking with me like I'm drachenlord

But I'll carry on
I'll carry on, 
And though I'm banned from every platform 
The killstream it will carry on
It'll carry on 
And though I'm beaten and defeated 
My horse fiance marches on


----------



## Weeb Slinger (Jun 3, 2022)

*What Becomes Of The Man Who Sharted?*

_(with apologies to the ghost of Jimmy Ruffin)_

*(Verse 1)*
I walk these Lisbon boulevards
5ft1, and 2 inches when hard
My life's a state of constant turmoil
but, like a vampire, I always travel with some home soil

*(Chorus 1)*
What becomes of the man who sharted?
Who likes girls young and semi-retarded
Got to find new underwear
I've sharted my last pair,
Baby

*(Verse 2)*
My off-balance fighting stance
can't drain the swampland in my pants
Everyday the stench grows a little stronger
I can't hide these stains much longer

*(Verse 3)*
I waddle downhill Lisbon streets
just waiting for my ass to get beat
Waking up and asking my nurse:
Have you seen my new $800 man purse?

*(Chorus 2)*
What becomes of the double-gunted?
across Europe now he's hunted
Annually I've got to hand
my baby momma 13 grand,
Help me

*(Verse 4)*
I can't stop myself from getting baited
I had a shit list but I ate it
Lately I'm just prayin' for the day
when I meet daddy Jim on his driveway

*(Extended final chorus)*
Now, what becomes of the man whose felted
Whose excess flesh has sadly melted
I search for five star days
far from my child and Meigh

I'll be sharting everywhere
you'll be throwing out that chair
Pawning my zirconia ring
for some Lisbon Burger King
No-one's left to stop the haterz
ever since I split with Gator
And I'll be searching everywhere
just for some clean underwear
I'll be looking


----------



## Double Dee (Jun 3, 2022)

No title, unfortunately. Just took a moment of inspo and ran with it.
_To the tune of "My Vagina" by NOFX._

Ralph's gunted ass has two sets of tits
Lisbon hookers knocked out his wits
Ralph's microdick, barely even used

Ralph's giant gunt is extra fucking fat
Is a defense when thrown in combat
Killstream hollaring is fucking cringe 

A-log felting: successful!

I went and shat myself-
Fuck, that stream's on DLive!
I won't remember
To pull my shirt down

And when I'm on Killstream
Gotta drink Mark and Beam
To make sure I have extra thin skin now!

I never thought I'd miss Fai Fai and my Xan
I traded in for a horse woman-man!
Now I hang around with catboi gays.

A-log felting: it's constant!

Now Jim and his friends laugh
Shouting 'soo-ey, piggy!'
I'm now their raging hog
That's not okay with me
Wish I could kick their ass
Now on the Groyper team
As long as my gunt
Is biggest in its sector


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 3, 2022)

Loving the creativity guys keep it coming. Nice seeing new shanties.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 7, 2022)

Master flagger
Masterblaster by Stevie Wonder
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Everyone's getting kino
It's popping in April
Though the world is full of problems
The Ragepig is causing a ruckus in his staple 
From the crackshack I hear hollers
Ralph shart on his chair
Tonight there will be a party
On the expense of the Memphis mauler

(Chorus)
Didnt no one told you would be chimpin out
Until the break of dawn
I bet nobody told you
Stop ragepiggin from the dusk till dawn 
You would be chimpin and chimpin and chimpin, chimpin, chimp on

(Verse 2)
He asked fuentes to join his flag war
But two can play that game
Day by day you get fatter than before
If you lose are you willing to take the blame
Flam is willing to sue, he might be right on this one
Now it's time for celebration 
Because if tea can win flam can win too

(Chorus)
Didnt no one told you would be chimpin out
Until the break of dawn
I bet nobody told you
Stop ragepiggin from the dusk till dawn 
You would be chimpin and chimpin and chimpin, chimpin, chimp on

(Chorus)
Didnt no one told you would be chimpin out
Until the break of dawn
I bet nobody told you
Stop ragepiggin from the dusk to dawn 
You would be chimpin and chimpin and chimpin, chimpin, chimp on

(Verse 3)
You ask me if this is content 
As a matter of fact
This week is a celebratory event
Ralph's child support will ream him bareback
Us kiwis have gathered together
As children of the corn
Like what the Jarbo has said
Love hath no fury like a pig's scorn

(Chorus)
Didnt no one told you (we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin) would be chimpin out
Until the break of dawn
I bet nobody told you (we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
Stop chimpin from the dusk till dawn 
(Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, you)
(we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
Nobody told you Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, no
(we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
Na, na, na, 
(we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
I bet nobody told you
Stop chmpin from the dusk to dawn 
I bet if someone approached you 
(we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
4 years ago you ago you would be ragepigging
You would not believe it because you would be a flaggot
Oh, oh, oh,oh 
(we're in the middle of making the master flaggers chimpin)
Chimpin out from dusk till dawn


----------



## Johnny Clyde Cash (Jun 16, 2022)

*O Brave Sir Ethan!
Original Song: O Brave Sir Robin by Monty Python*




Bravely bold Sir Ethan
Waddled to Portugal.
He was not the least bit scare,
Oh brave Sir Ethan!
He was not at all afraid
To be felted in many ways!
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Ethan!

Ralph was not in the least bit scared 
To be stomped into a pulp. 
Or to have his eyes fucked up, 
And his orbital broken. 
To double his mantits, 
And his gunt bifurcated, 
And his manpurse lost forever, brave Sir Ethan!

His mouth smashed in
And his teeth smashed out
And his gunt exposed
And his nose bent up
And his mouth thumb-raped
And his drunk ass jailed
And his micropenis...

Brave Sir Ethan ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away!
("Thass naht troo!")
When foul troon Digi raised his head, 
Ralph bravely turned his tail and fled.
("Gator play the tape!")
Dan from Northland stormed about, 
Then gallantly Ralph chickened out.
("Fanfiction farms!")
Taking to his swollen feet, 
from Warski did the pig retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Ethan!
("As a matter of fact, it was YOU that ran!")


----------



## maize (Jun 19, 2022)

Not exactly songs but:


An obese alcoholic named Ethan,
Knew that he'd surely ne'er be thin,
___And his viewership dropped,
___Though he once was on top,
And then a Portugese kicked his teeth in.



There once was a fellow named Gunt,
Who thought every joke an affront,
___Until it came to an end
___When he had no more friends
And the whole sektur called him a...



A lolicon horse name of Meigh,
Thought that being pickme was the way,
___So she got picked by a pig,
___Who's dick was not big,
But she foaled after rolling in hay.



A California clan called the Vickers,
On Twitter most constantly bickers,
___Since Faith was knocked up,
___they want Gunt locked up,
While the whole Internet simply snickers.



Some fat lonely sperg named the Gator,
To the Gunt he would never turn traitor,
___'Till his sister got doxed,
___And /cow/ called her a fox,
And loudly proclaimed that they'd date her.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 20, 2022)

Parody of something just like this by the Chainsmokers ft. Coldplay
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I've seen the forums of old
I heard of the ibs myth
Grifters spitting fools gold
Sargon's wants to save the brits
Pho's noodle snipe
And Metokur with his witt
But im probably on a Government watch list

(Pre-chorus)
She said "would give it a go"
How much you wanna risk
I'm not asking for some glowie
Or a discord tranny
All I wanna ask if they liked my parody
And have someone to turn to
Someone I can ask
Where can find content just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, Where can find content just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

(Chorus)
Oh, i where can find content just like this
I want content just like this

(Verse 2)
I've seen the forums of old
I heard of the ibs myth
The movement tenets they behold
The supporters and the monolith
The ragepig holler
And deminsional Julaay
Fortunately don't live in a pigsty

(Pre-chorus)
She said "would give it a go"
How much you wanna risk
I'm not asking for some glowie
Or a discord tranny
All I wanna ask if they liked my parody
And have someone to turn to
Someone I can ask
Where can find content just like this

(Chorus)
I want content just like this
I want content just like this

(Bridge)
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Oh, Where can find content just like this
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo, doo
Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo

(Pre-chorus)
She said "would give it a go"
How much you wanna risk
I'm not asking for some glowie
Or a discord tranny
All I wanna ask if they liked my parody
And have someone to turn to
Someone I can ask
Where can find content just like this

(Chorus)
Oh, i where can find content just like this
Oh, i where can find content just like this
Oh, i where can find content just like this


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 20, 2022)

3 years of trolli. I'm getting old. Thanks for the love and support you guys given me and the parody era of the trolli. 

Parody of somewhere only we know by Keane
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
I scroll across, many threads
So many low cows in the palm of my hand
I felt the seethe from the rage pig
From a cancer man he saw as a dad

(Chorus)
Oh simple thing
Where have you gone
I'm becoming an old fag so i need someone to rely on
So tell me when, who will snipe
So many channels flagged  we need a new fall guy

(Verse 2)
I came across a boring stream
Hearing fagmenco felting ppp
Is there a place, we used to lol
Is there a place josterman can expose the cabal

(Pre-chorus)
Oh simple thing
Where have you gone
I'm becoming an old fag so i need someone to rely on
So tell me when, who will the snipe
So many channels flagged we need a new fall guy

(Chorus)
And if you have a minute, do we have to watch the casino
Talk about it somewhere to find kino?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere to find kino?
Somewhere to find kino

(Pre-Chorus)
 Oh simple thing
Where have you gone
I'm becoming an old fag so i need someone to rely on
So tell me when, who will the snipe
So many channels flagged  we need a new fall guy

(Chorus)
And if you have a minute, do we have to watch the casino
Talk about it somewhere to find kino?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere to find kino?
Somewhere to find kino
Somewhere to find kino
Oooh-ahh, oh

(Outro)
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere to find kino?
Somewhere to find kino


----------



## 5t3n0g0ph3r (Jun 21, 2022)

Anyone thought of creating a "Love Shack" parody called "Gunt Shack"?


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 21, 2022)

5t3n0g0ph3r said:


> Anyone thought of creating a "Love Shack" parody called "Gunt Shack"?


I'll think about it.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

Over the past 2 years of posting on the Gunt Board, Whimsical Trolli has become a staple of the Gunt board posting parodies. He is known for hit singles "Wigger", "Putting on the Vics", "Gunted Wall" and his recent hit with fellow user @Hüftpriester "Piglet with Baphomet Wings", which was famously referenced by Ralph's Twitter.



The question that Many users have is

*Does Ralph Like my Parodies.*

He referenced the chorus of piglet with Baphomet Wings so where's smoke theres fire. But here's the people WHO DO like the Parodies.

Exhibit A

Teaclips, who hearted my Hit single from October "Clipping Too Much"






 Exhibit 2
Our Resident Patriot, Josterman



exhibit 3

former suspect of Gator, @The Megalodon



Exhibit 4



Former Discord tranny negrated me on my 3rd single "I'm gonna groom you up" 2 years ago. Now, with the power of my Parodial Arts and now he's a reformed Twitter Fag.




Now I ask you, fellow Gunt Alogs


*Do you Like My parodies*


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Jun 22, 2022)

You make parodies?


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> You make parodies?


Yes, wanna see one of them?


----------



## z0mb0 (Jun 22, 2022)

I'm a fan. Piglet with Baphomet Wings is the best.


----------



## Sprate Header (Jun 22, 2022)

Post these parodies and I'll let you know


----------



## felted (Jun 22, 2022)

Yeah they're funny. I also never seen them, btw.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

Sprate Header said:


> Post these parodies and I'll let you know


Spreger of the gayop wars
Parody of Veteran of the Physic Wars by blue oysters cult
Written by: Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
You see now I'm a spreger of a thousand gayop wars Living on the kino so long, where the jannies knowing the score And I'm too tired to see and too awake to think All the cope are from inside
I'm not sure there's any hey babes left in me.

(Chorus)
Don't let the snakes go on it's time we had a break from it It's time to collect some seethe We've barely had to breathe we've Held on to our wreath Oh please don't let the snakes go on.

You ask why I'm weary Why I can't let you in
You blame me for being cheery Exposed by the Jews
But the war's still going on dear And there's no end that I know And I say you just gotta endure.... I can't say that we've had our fair share of seethe (seethe)

(Chorus)
Don't let the snakes go on its time we've had a break from it!
It's time to collect some seethe
We've barely had to breathe we've Held on to our wreath
Oh please don't let the snakes go on.

(Guitar solo)

(Verse 3)
You see I'm a spreger of a thousand gayop war
I'm just say I had a blast my kino has been worn
I have used up all my lives and I saw a woman's scorn Cope is all I'm made of
Did I hear this is victory?

(Chorus)
I'm not sure there's any hey babes left in me. Don't let the snakes go on it's time we had a break from it Send me to Mattis Where my purple heart is swell And I can rest easy in hell Oh, please don't let these snakes go on.

Don't let these snakes go on!
Don't let these snakes go on!


----------



## Sprate Header (Jun 22, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> Spreger of the gayop wars
> Parody of Veteran of the Physic Wars by blue oysters cult
> Written by: Cal Rollia
> 
> ...


Very reminiscent of when people post their own rap lyrics in the comments of YouTube instrumentals, lmao. Have you actually performed any of them?


----------



## SevenEightNine (Jun 22, 2022)

My favorite is still the Mr. Brightside one. 

Yer a bard Trolli!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

Sprate Header said:


> Very reminiscent of when people post their own rap lyrics in the comments of YouTube instrumentals, lmao. Have you actually performed any of them?


Nope. Just wrote lyrics. But I am okay with people singing it.


----------



## free_protons4u (Jun 22, 2022)

I didn't read OP but I'm guessing this thread is just to suck his own dick?


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

free_protons4u said:


> I didn't read OP but I'm guessing this thread is just to suck his own dick?


It's more about finding the truth if Ralph DOES like my parodies. If we can have threads on children we can have a thread about if he acknowledges my parodies.


----------



## free_protons4u (Jun 22, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> It's more about finding the truth if Ralph DOES like my parodies. If we can have threads on children we can have a thread about if he acknowledges my parodies.


Have fun bro. Hope he sees this.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

free_protons4u said:


> Have fun bro. Hope he sees this.


Do you like my parodies?


----------



## Cumbubs (Jun 22, 2022)

From what I heard he also did a song together with @RichardRApe where he helped write the lyrics for Total Eclipse of the Shart, which Josh played on a MATI episode


----------



## Punished 🌍 (Jun 22, 2022)

z0mb0 said:


> I'm a fan. Piglet with Baphomet Wings is the best.


Agree also lyrics are great. It perfectly describes Ralph life.


----------



## R00T (Jun 22, 2022)

if you can't even post your parodies over the karaoke track they suck.  harsh but it's kinda lame to just read them while listening to the music.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

R00T said:


> if you can't even post your parodies over the karaoke track they suck.  harsh but it's kinda lame to just read them while listening to the music.


I'm only a 1 person show. But I will take that into consideration.


----------



## TV's Adam West (Jun 22, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> Nope. Just wrote lyrics. But I am okay with people singing it.


My buddy is an audio engineer. You got me considering something really stupid now.


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

TV's Adam West said:


> My buddy is an audio engineer. You got me considering something really stupid now.


Which song do you plan to song bud?


----------



## Cherenkovblue (Jun 22, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> Yes, wanna see one of them?


Pretty sure that's how every Discord groomer starts their conversations with minors...


----------



## ScamL Likely (Jun 22, 2022)

Cherenkovblue said:


> Pretty sure that's how every Discord groomer starts their conversations with minors...


"Wanna s-s-s-s-s-see my wooden horse, kid?" - Pedomenco, 2020


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jun 22, 2022)

I guess jannies are mad about the thread yet okay with threads on literal infants.


Cherenkovblue said:


> Pretty sure that's how every Discord groomer starts their conversations with minors...


Sounds like projection dude.


----------



## KKKaan (Jun 22, 2022)

WhimsicalTrolli said:


> I guess jannies are mad about the thread yet okay with threads on literal infants.


Write lyrics for Baked's we love our cops song for jannies next time and they might be mor lenient.


----------



## Hüftpriester (Jun 22, 2022)

Kaan141 said:


> Write lyrics for Baked's we love our cops song for jannies next time and they might be mor lenient.


Reading this made me remember I did the verse in a different thread about a year ago.


----------



## TV's Adam West (Jun 27, 2022)

You like CCR? I do. Just some shit to the tune of looking out my backdoor 

Just got back from Portugal, lock the front door oh boy 
Got to sit down get pegged by a horse
Orgasm setting in pretty soon I'm screeching 
Doo doo doo knocking on Ralph's back door.


----------



## SargonF00t (Jul 6, 2022)

Three Inch Tool

Little me, my nuts are as small as pearls,
You like to laugh at me because I'm hung just like a squirrel.
Sometimes it bugs me, I'm not a bigger guy,
When I was a baby it was exactly the same size.
But there's nothing I can do,
Cause I only got a 3 inch tool.

Come home with me, have a cocktail at my place,
I gotta tell you before we get past 2nd base.
In my pants, ain't no big schwing,
But if you can find him he's a friendly little thing.
But there's nothing I can do,
I only got a 3 inch tool.
When I'm comming outta the pool,
I only got a 1 inch tool.

Sometimes I wonder if It'll ever extend,
I get embarassed when I'm hanging with my friends.
They like to razz me, I don't know why.
They get me a Happy Meal and super-size my fry.
And there's nothing I can do,
I only got a 3 inch tool.
And when I'm comming outta the pool,
I only got a 1 inch tool.

Yea, it's small but it's real cool,
I'm happy with a 3 inch tool!
I only got a 3 inch tool


----------



## TV's Adam West (Jul 6, 2022)

This should be in Shanties without panties


----------



## WhoBusTank69 (Jul 6, 2022)

TV's Adam West said:


> This should be in Shanties without panties


If only we had a janny that merged posts!


----------



## WhimsicalTrolli (Jul 6, 2022)

WhoBusTank69 said:


> If only we had a janny that merged posts!


A janny who would ruin his marriage for the ethics of merging posts.


----------



## Weeb Slinger (Aug 5, 2022)

*Gunt Hunt (The state that I am in)*

“_Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again.”

~ Indiana Jones_


It's hard to stay on the right side of the road
when alcohol and drugs has your brain in bits
and you see the world through pig slits

It's hard to follow a moral code,
stay off the white lines, or be kind
when a Portuguese pimp
knocked your eyeball out of orbit
and broke your fragile mind

No messin'
Finally, I've learned my lesson
Graduated top at the
Lisbon school of hard knocks
This time round I'm keepin'
one step ahead of the haterz
repo men can repossess my dust
I'll y'all laterz
Fleeing the scene of an accident
months after it occurred
my word is my bond, your honour
and all my words are turds
The most expensive T-bone
I was ever served
was the one that
blind-sided me in the street
the one I couldn't swerve
the only one I'll never eat
I'm bailing on the debt incurred
going where there'll never find me
table your bets
on the direction I take
when I drive headlong into the sunset


The state that I am in
crossing lines from
Maryland to Alabama
The state that I am in
lowering property values
In Montana and Louisiana


I lead a road life
Forced to make ends meet
on the cheap
My bank balance flattened
as I fattened
must have rolled over on it
in my sleep

Hunted by alogs
y'all can all blow me
I'm unbranded, a wild hog
Louis Vuitton says he don't know me

Taking what's left of my stack
investing it all in payback
using the contents of my gunt
as chum for the great shark hunt
Making a last stand
taking my quarry out of the aquarium
watch him flop about on dry land
Had your human resources department
on speed dial, bitch
waiting for them to yell
'You're fired' in the crowded theatre of war
they blocked me instead, said 'later snitch'
walked me to the door

Still, I'm' hopeful
praying that I never see the day
when I lose my nerve
make an illegal U-turn in Jim's driveway
Thirty seconds of weaponised revenge porn
no match for his oinking drone swarm
Can't stop making the cancer man
richer with my actions
every time I add another pound of fat
seems to stir online transactions
he sells another fifty hats


The state that I am in
doing the limbo in Hawaii
no man can go lower
The state that I am in
grooming your teenage daughters
In Florida and Arizona

The state that I am in
Colorado, Maine, or back to Lisbon
third time's a charm.
The state that I am in
hiding in the last place
where they'll ever think to look
down here in the pigsty
down on Kiwi Farms


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## ScamL Likely (Aug 7, 2022)

Here's a present for you niggers, free of charge



			https://thedetaineddollar.bandcamp.com/album/trump-card


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Aug 18, 2022)

It seems like the gunt called me out today, hope he enjoys my parody.

Another one punts the gunt
Parody of another one bites the dust by Queen
Written by Cal Rollia

(Intro)
Oh, Let's go!

(Verse 1)
Gunt walks drunkenly down the street
Looking for a teen to groom
Ain't no sound but the plats on his feet
Still no head janny to broom
Are you ready, hey
Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out the streets of lisbon ready to clip
To the sound of the beat, yeah

(Chorus)
Another one punts the gunt
Another one punts the gunt
And another one punts and another punts
Another one punts the gunt
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another punts the gunt

(Verse 2)
How do you think he leave the house
Without being a punching bag
Leading on a pedophile as a never spouse
Californian merchants took everything you own
Are you happy, are you satisfied
How long can you stand the heat
Saying you don't scare
To the sound of defeat, look out

(Chorus)
Another one punts the gunt
Another one punts the gunt
And another one punts and another punts
Another one punts the gunt
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another punts the gunt

(Bridge)
Hey
Oh, Take it
Another one punts the gunt
Another one punts the gunt ow,
And another one punts the gunt, hey-hey
Another one punts the gunt  Hey eh-eh
Ooh shoot out

(Verse 3)
How are you take shots when a man is unprovoked
With 2 months of Ceasefire
You can dodge him, block him, you can treat him bad
And leave him when he's down yeah,
But im ready, I'm ready you
That's why I'm writing this parody
Getting dunked by cotboys
Living a life of misery look out

(Chorus)
Another one punts the gunt
Another one punts the gunt
And another one punts and another punts
Another one punts the gunt, yeah
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another punts the gunt


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## Triple Flutz (Sep 14, 2022)

Come out Ye B;ack and Tans (except I'm not a usual drinker and I had a few so I could only get a bit done lol) 


I was born in a ''Memphis'' street, 
where me Ronnie did me beat, 
His absentee feet somehow still walked all over us, 
and every single night, 
when me ma' would come home tight, 
she'd invite the niggers out with this chorus: 

Come out ye' black and trans!
Come out and fuck me like a man! 
Show my son what kind of porn he should engage with! 
Tell him how Queen Keffals, 
wants to share his daughter's stalls, 
in the bathrooms of Chomo Ghetto, Virginia!


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Sep 30, 2022)

We are finally back for now. Enjoy the parody chud buds. Chud on

Chud on
Parody of dream on by Areosmith
Written by Cal Rollia


(Verse 1)
Every time that I look in the net
Unfortunately this time the kiwi is in fret
The fourm is gone
Oh, it went away due to a troon 
This can't be the way
Everyone in the end has to carry that weight

(Interlude)
Yeah I know, nobody knows
Once one site goes other follow
I know never bend
Don't let the cucks see your sorrow

(Verse 2)
A life of copes isn't the way a chud should live
The pain in life is paved by future strive
You know it's true
All the things, come back to you


(Chorus)
Snipe with me snipe for year
Collect the kino, snipe away the fear
Snipe with me just for today
Maybe Tomorrow, the good lord will 
Show you the way
Snipe with me snipe for year
Collect the kino, snipe away the fear
Snipe with me just for today
Maybe Tomorrow, the good lord will 
Show you the way

(Bridge)
Chud on chud on
Chud until that tradcath wife comes through 
Chud on chud on
Chud Till you defeat them troons
Chud on chud on
Chud on chud on
Chud on ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(Chorus)
Snipe with me snipe for year
Collect the kino, snipe away the fear
Snipe with me just for today
Maybe Tomorrow, the good lord will 
Show you the way
Snipe with me snipe for year
Collect the kino, snipe away the fear
Snipe with me just for today
Maybe Tomorrow, the good lord will 
Show you the way



			https://youtu.be/89dGC8de0CA


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## Keranu (Oct 2, 2022)

_Percocets are red
Diazepam is blue
I'm a five-foot-one manlet
That loves eating poo_


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Nov 8, 2022)

Forever alog
Parody of forever young by aplhaville
Written by Cal Rollia

(Verse 1)
Let's not sit In cope, let's hold out for hope
We knew accepting trannies cause a slippery slope
Hoping for best but preparing for worst
Are we going to survive the drop or not

(Verse 2)
Do not dilate or seethe forever
The fourm is down but let's endure this endeavor
Hiding from the hitlist life is a short trip
Coping is for the sad man

(Verse 2)
Imagine what's next after kiwifarms
So many sites are good as gone
Don't bend the knee, stop the troons
Live your life as a based man

(Chorus)
Forever alog
I Wanna be a Forever alog
Do you really alog Forever
Forever and ever
Forever alog
I Wanna be a Forever an alog
Do you really alog Forever
Forever and ever
Forever alog

(Verse 4)
Some get threads some get effort post
The lowcow lore spreads more than most
Sooner or later, more lowcows are created
Why not alog?
It's so easy not to pozload my neghole
Easier than say it's not true
Fourms are like diamonds in a rough
Diamonds are forever
Freedom of speech is in danger today
So many slurs we forgot to say
We can't let free speech die
 due to one grooming troon

(Chorus)
Forever alog
I Wanna be a Forever alog
Do you really alog Forever
Forever and ever
Forever alog
I Wanna be a Forever an alog
Do you really alog Forever
Forever and ever
Forever alog

(Outro)
Forever alog I Wanna Forever alog
Do you really want to alog Forever?


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## Smarty Pants (Nov 18, 2022)

*Rabbi Levine - G8tor boi*





He was a boy
She was a girl(M)
Can I make it any more obvious?

He guarded a gunt
She didn't care
What more can I say?
He wanted her
Imagine the smell
Secretly she wanted him as well
But all of her friends
Drawn in Nippon
They had a problem with his curvy form

He was a Gaytor boy
She said, "See you later, boy"
He wasn't weeb enough for her
She had a butter face
His waifu was drawn and traced
He needed a GF on this Earth

Five years from now
She sits at home
Feeding her kittens, she's all alone
She turns on TV
Guess who she sees
Gaytor boy rockin' up Odysee
She goes on Discord
They already know
And they've all got the stream in a new window
She tags along
Opens a tab
Looks up at the man who wanted to tap

He was a Gaytor boy
She said, "See you later, boy"
He wasn't weeb enough for her
Now he's a super star
He even streamed with E;R
Does your butter face see what he's worth?

Sorry, girl, but you tapped out
Well, tough luck that boy's yours now
You are more than co-host friends
This is how your story ends
Too bad that you couldn't see
The spergy weeb that boy could be
There is more than meets the eye
He gets Latinas with hair dye

He's just a boy
And you're just a girl
Can I make it any more obvious?
You are in love
Josh have you heard
How they rock each other's world

She's with the Gaytor boy
She said "See you later boy"
I'll send you nudes after the show
I'll be at the studio
Dressed up like Kurisu
It gets you off and I should know


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## Amber Turd (Dec 17, 2022)

It is unavoidable folks. the musical genius of the awaken Antediluvian King Asalieri @The Fatman Of The Opera can only logically lead to one outcome: 
*Endless karaoke streams clowning on whoever dares to stand on his path!*

So post your submission (your lyrics and some link to the original song) for this former crow furry as he slowly *transitions* into something as bad but with way less chances of getting anally raped, a crow vtuber.

Snake You Again
It's been a long grift without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I snake you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I dox you again
When I dox you again
Damn, who knew?
All the alogging we flew, good kino we been through
That I'd be standing right here sperging at you
'Bout another path, I know we loved to hit the grifters and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days, good kino forever pays
Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)
Uh
How can we not talk about my "business" when hunger's all that I got?
Everything I went through, you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be against me for the last fight
It's been a long grift without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I snake you again (I'll snake you again)
We've come a long way (yeah, we came a long way)
From where we began (you know we started)
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I flag you again (I'll tell you)
When I flag you again
First, you both go out your way and the vibe is feeling strong
And what's small turned to a friendship, a friendship turned to a dox
And my starfish will never get cold, your dox will never get lost
(Your dox will never get lost)
And when business come first, then the line will never be crossed
Established it on my own when that line had to be drawn
And that line is what we reached, so remember me when I'm gone
(Remember me when I'm gone)
How can we not talk about superchats when trannies all that I got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be against me for the last fight
So let my gunt guide you away, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home, home
It's been a long grift without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I snake you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I flag you again
When I flag you again
When I flag you again (yeah, uh)
See you again (yeah, yeah, yeah)
When I snake you again






PS: @AltisticRight any chance you can move/copy similar recent post from PPP's thread here?


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## BiggusHammer (Dec 17, 2022)

Crazy Train

All aboard Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay
Lazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to live
And forget how to hate
Battle wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
he’s snorting off the rails on a crazy train
He’s snorting off the rails on a crazy train
Let's go
He’s listened to Gunt cheers
He’s largely a fool
he’s watched all the sellouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to drool with no soul
The media sells it, and you live the role
Battle wounds still screaming
Driving him insane
hes sniffing off the rails on a crazy train
He’s sniffing off the rails on a crazy train
he knows that things are going wrong for him
You wont understand his words, yeah
Heirs of a pork war
That's what we've become
Killing his troubles, he’s mentally numb
Crazy, he just cannot bear
Hes living with something that just isn't fair
battle wounds not healing
Salt Papi's to blame
he’s snorting off the rails on a crazy train
He’s snorting off the rails on a crazy train
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
The ledge, Andy, the edge


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## BiggusHammer (Dec 17, 2022)

Seven Piglet Army

I'm gonna eat 'em all
A seven course meal couldn't hold me back
I’m gonna rip them off
Taking their donos right behind their backs
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Godwinson through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says, "I’m all alone"
Don't wanna hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the house of Surfer to the mounds of Hell
And if I snake it coming back my way
I'm gonna snake it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear
But that's what I'll do
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says, "Cabins are home"
I'm going to let it thaw
Far from this opera for a boar
I'm gonna eat the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm eating, and I'm eating, and I'm bleeding
Right before Moloch-lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will snake no more
And the stains coming from my mud
Tell me, "you have no home"


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## Stabmaster Arson II (Dec 17, 2022)

Added to watch list. As someone who's done two songs about cows I'll be keeping an eye on this one.


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## Amber Turd (Dec 18, 2022)

A-Stump said:


> I'm confused. THE Asalieri? Internet nobody who sperged about James Rolfe, Irate Gamer, and the Archfiend?
> 
> That's the only Asalieri I know. The fuck did he get up to lmao


Yes, that's exactly it. Godwinson brought him back from the grave into the Gunt Sphere as part of a convoluted plan to own his former associate PPP with the power of music.


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## Needless (Dec 20, 2022)

Rage pig of Lisbon
(Parody of Werewolves of London)

I saw a rage pig with a gay purse in his hand
Walking through the streets of Lisbon as sworn
He was looking for the place called o bordel
For to get a big bowl of corn

OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK
OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK

You hear him squeeling at your front door
You better not let him in
Little lady got spat on late last night
Rage pig of Lisbon again

OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK
OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK

He's the small rounded man who ran amok at Arby's
Lately he's been with a gay Mexican
You better stay away from him, he'll eat your ass out Jim
Huh, he really likes his medicine

OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK
OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
OINK

Well, I saw Andy Warski walking with PPP
Doin' the rage pig of Lisbon
I saw Andy Warski Jr. walking with Jesus Christ, uh
Doin' the rage pig of Lisbon
I saw a rage pig drinkin' Marker's mark with oldman Dick
His gunt was perfect

OINK, rage pig of Lisbon
Hey eat shit
OINK, rage pig of Lisbon


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## Johnny Clyde Cash (Dec 21, 2022)

Given recent events between Ralph and the Morris family, this was screaming to be done.

SPITE WEDDING
Originally WHITE WEDDING by Billy Idol

Hey little sister, what have you done
Hey little sister, is he five foot one?
Hey little sister, who's that informant?
Hey little sister, is this what you want?
Hey little sister, SHART GUNT

It's a nice day to shart again
It's a nice day for a spite wedding
It's a nice day to 
SHART AGAIN

Hey little sister, who is it you're with
Hey little sister, who's that Memphis bitch?
Hey little sister, shart gunt (oh yeah)
Hey little sister, who's your informant?
Hey little sister, SHART GUNT

It's a nice day to shart again
It's a nice day for a spite wedding
It's a nice day to start again

Don't you come home, hear?
Hey little sister, what have you done
Hey little sister, what's that on his thumb?
We've stored his shirts for so long (so long)
We've stored his belt for so long (so long)
Put up with his shit for so long
It's a nice day to shart again
Come on, it's a nice day for a spite wedding
It's a nice day to shart again

There is nothin' left by his side, baby
You're just a laughin' stock at his side
You're just a gunted horse at his side
Don't let him make you his new bride
Please just walk away with your pride

Start again!
Come on

It's a nice day for a spite wedding
It's a nice day to shart again
It's a nice day to shart again
It's a nice day to shart again


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## Cucktry Roads (Dec 25, 2022)

Merry Guntmas, everyone.

This year, I planned to do a large Guntmas album where a bunch of kiwi's and I would be writing Guntmas songs and signing them. But all the Keffles downtime months ago stopped that from happening as it was a large project. We were going to have great songs like Maker's and Xans, Ralphy the Fat-Gunted Ragehog, Jiggle Gunt Flop, and I Wish It Could Be Guntmas Everyday, but that didn't happen. Maybe next year. Anywhere, here's the lyrics to Maker's and Xans. Sing along if you know the words.






Maker's and Xans
Maker's and Xans
Ethan Ralph consumes
Both Maker's and Xans
Why does he spend his earned worth
Just for the pleasure
It gives his fat girth?
Maker's and Xans
Maker's and Xans
Addiction is here to stay
Maker's and Xans cocktails
On every Guntmas day
Maker's and Xans
Maker's and Xans
Ethan Ralph wishes for Maker's and Xans
Maker's and Xans
Maker's and Xans
Addiction is here to stay
Maker's and Xans cocktails
On every Guntmas day


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## Waifu Days (Dec 25, 2022)

Ralphie the fatass was a mean loud raging hog
With some makers mark and expanding gunt
Wasted money on a bog

Ralphie the dipshit had a love affair that's true
Rape and porn that's gross, sometimes bones a horse
And probably did the same to the rest of the zoo

The must of been some heroine inside that gucci purse
Cause when those nice men took it away
He began to "SUEY" and curse

Oh, Ralphie the rage hog smoking heroine like cocaine 
Sweaty, fat and dumb. and he's on the run
Smoking heroine cause he can't find a vein.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Dec 31, 2022)

Chud
Parody of Shout by Tears for Fears
Written by Cal Rollia

(Chorus)
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come, I'm taking to you so come on

(Verse 1)
In violent times
You shouldn't have to bend to troons
In black or white
You have to keep them in a bin of loons
Don't fall for a ethots
Don't live a life filled with copes
Your manhood can't be bought
Got to see the bigger scope
Got to see the bigger scope
Chud


(chorus)
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come, I'm taking to you so come on



(Verse 2)
They locked you in
And return you gave them hell
Run the glomo's patience thin
I hope we live to tell the tale
I hope we live to tell the tale
Chud



(Chorus)
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm taking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come, I'm taking to you so come on

(Verse 3)
Boy I hope taking this fight with stride
If I could continue to encourage
One day you'll have that Slavic or asian bride
you'll have that Slavic or asian bride
Chud

(Chorus)
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm taking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm taking to you so come on
(You'll get that Slavic or Asian Bride)

(Chorus)
Chud chud
Holler it out
(You'll get that Slavic or asian Bride)
We will save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on
Chud chud
Holler it out
We are here to save the west from cucks
Come on, I'm talking to you so come on


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## Lidl Drip (Jan 5, 2023)

Move all the dumbass poems into this thread as well. People need to stop shitting up the other threads with that garbage.


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