# If you could travel back in time and kill one person, who would it be and why?



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Apr 13, 2019)

For me it's Edward Bernays. The man is directly responsible for the way corporations act and the idiocy of advertising. 

I mean, just look into the guy starting here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bernays. Read his books. You'll get it.


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## The Fool (Apr 13, 2019)

me


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## Love Soze (Apr 13, 2019)

Soros is the first person I thought of.


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## LofaSofa (Apr 13, 2019)

I'd kill Tard Baby so I wouldn't have to deal with him being a faggot.

@Tard Baby you're a faggot btw.


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## GS 281 (Apr 13, 2019)

OP's mom.


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## Buster O'Keefe (Apr 13, 2019)

My grandfather: it's Kiwi Farms, we like to _para_dox


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## The Flawless Gazelles (Apr 13, 2019)

your mom


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## tehpope (Apr 13, 2019)

Adam so we wouldn't have to deal with this bullshit.


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## nagant 1895 (Apr 13, 2019)

Gavrilo Princep just a split second before he shot Franz. I like reading history books and historical books and I am firmly convinced that while conflict in Europe over the decay of Austria-Hungary was going to take one form or another I don't believe that it was destined to play out as the lunatic war that happened.
Also I would like to have one of those cool medals they passed out when you did a great service to the Hapsburgs.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Apr 13, 2019)

Mohammed, that way I would be able to illustrate my super gay slash-fiction in peace and safety.


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## obliviousbeard (Apr 13, 2019)

If I could time-travel, why would I want to kill anyone? Just rape someone. Rape Cleopatra. Rape Marilyn Monroe. Use your imagination a bit there.


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## SigSauer (Apr 13, 2019)

Barack Obama


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## Rand /pol/ (Apr 13, 2019)

Donald Trump


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## Rand /pol/ (Apr 13, 2019)

Also @Somari1996 for being a gay libturd cuck soyboy


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## Krokodil Overdose (Apr 13, 2019)

Am I allowed to use time travel to become incredibly wealthy instead? Asking for a friend.


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## Teri-Teri (Apr 13, 2019)

LofaSofa said:


> I'd kill Tard Baby so I wouldn't have to deal with him being a faggot.
> 
> @Tard Baby you're a faggot btw.


RIP


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## Jeb-sama (Apr 13, 2019)

Sarah Connor


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## Night Terror (Apr 13, 2019)

chris


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## Stranger Neighbors (Apr 13, 2019)

The 8 of Spades said:


> For me it's Edward Bernays. The man is directly responsible for the way corporations act and the idiocy of advertising.
> 
> I mean, just look into the guy starting here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Bernays. Read his books. You'll get it.



I actually have done this already and I transported myself to this timeline by doing so.



Spoiler



be happy JFK got shot. You could be living in a much worse timeline. 



Spoiler



be double happy John Wilkes Booth was successful too


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## Takodachi (Apr 13, 2019)

Stalin just to see how communism woulda evolved under Trotsky leadership
or
Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto to see how WW2 woulda ended without US intervention.


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## A Welsh Cake (Apr 13, 2019)

I'm surprised it took anyone this long to shitpost this but

Null


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## PT 940 (Apr 13, 2019)

I was pretty sure my high school best friend's step dad was a pedophile, so I'd go back in time to kill him.  I'd get absolute proof first, though.


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## Judge Holden (Apr 13, 2019)

Promestein said:


> Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto to see how WW2 woulda ended without US intervention.


Pretty sure Yamamoto was decidedly on team "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ATTACKING THE US IS GODDAMN RETARDED WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME PLAN THIS SHIT?!" and thus taking him out means that team "RAPE AND MURDER EVERYONE! WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?! WE ARE INVINCIBLE!!!" will be significantly stronger in japanese politics and whatever equivalent to Pearl Harbour happens will likely wind up a hell of a lot less competently done, and that there will probably be more shit done to piss off the Allies into going Total War.

Hell if enough butterfly effects happen maybe the japs will be dumb enough to try and attack the Soviets at the same time they attack the western allies which would lead to them getting booted off mainland asia even faster than in our history.

As for my choice of who to kill, unfortunately I subscribe to the "mass movements and causes >>>> individuals" view of historical events and thus I doubt that killing any one person from hitler to stalin would seriously improve history much, since figures at that height of power and influence were invariably supported by a vast pyramid network of underlings and fanatics and opportunists and such who could easily replace them, and once we get into the mid 20th century we get to the age of "ok if shit goes wrong it could literally wipe out humanity due to nukes flying around" given how many near misses we have had so far, which makes any choice that much more difficult.

Personally though I would cautiously chose this nigga, since he was singularly responsible more than any other for the Soviets getting nukes, which is what both spiralled humanity into dangerous nuclear proliferation and also ensured that their shitty totalitarian fuckery could safely and happily spread under the aegis of "if you try to stop us we burn the world down" which is something the 20th century really couldda done without. If the soviets are effectively neutralised and compelled to play nice with the West, there is far less excuse or opportunity for murica and the west to be so invested in all the shady shit we did to try and keep the soviets in check.

Obviously though this is all highly debatable and speculative, and its entirely possible this would backfire and fuck things up worse, but removing both the spectre of nuclear war and the ability and motivation of the Soviets to act with such aggressive impunity in international affairs doesn't really have that many obvious downsides in my mind unless the US randomly turns psycho which seems unlikely as extreme authoritarians would have far less paranoia to court without fear of the soviets in popular consciousness.


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## oldTireWater (Apr 13, 2019)

Zuckerberg.


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## ProgKing of the North (Apr 13, 2019)

Whoever installed the piece of railing in Jerryworld that caused Nebraska to lose the 2009
big 12 championship


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## Ali della Fenice (Apr 13, 2019)

people who decided to bring niggers to america.


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## MichaelScott (Apr 13, 2019)

Hitler, and then take his place.


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## Draza (Apr 13, 2019)

Chris Chan's parents.


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## Hikikomori-Yume (Apr 13, 2019)

I can only kill one person?


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## loli (Apr 13, 2019)

George Washington, this country was a mistake


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## LinuxVoid (Apr 13, 2019)

ZUN for ruining my life


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## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Apr 13, 2019)

obliviousbeard said:


> If I could time-travel, why would I want to kill anyone? Just rape someone. Rape Cleopatra. Rape Marilyn Monroe. Use your imagination a bit there.



 Because that's the premise of the thread?



Krokodil Overdose said:


> Am I allowed to use time travel to become incredibly wealthy instead? Asking for a friend.



NO. ONLY DEATH. 



Hikikomori-Yume said:


> I can only kill one person?


 
Okay maybe a few depending on situation.


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## OB 946 (Apr 13, 2019)

Even Odder said:


> I actually have done this already and I transported myself to this timeline by doing so.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



The JFK thing was the subject of a Stephen King novel. The basis of the idea is that a guy discovers a time warp, uses it so save JFK, goes back to modern day and sees it as a shithole because JFK started a nuclear war, and in order to save America he has to go back in time to kill JFK. It's not very good but it's kinda interesting.



Judge Holden said:


> Pretty sure Yamamoto was decidedly on team "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ATTACKING THE US IS GODDAMN RETARDED WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME PLAN THIS SHIT?!" and thus taking him out means that team "RAPE AND MURDER EVERYONE! WHATS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?! WE ARE INVINCIBLE!!!" will be significantly stronger in japanese politics and whatever equivalent to Pearl Harbour happens will likely wind up a hell of a lot less competently done, and that there will probably be more shit done to piss off the Allies into going Total War.
> 
> Hell if enough butterfly effects happen maybe the japs will be dumb enough to try and attack the Soviets at the same time they attack the western allies which would lead to them getting booted off mainland asia even faster than in our history.
> 
> ...



Read "Red Inferno: 1945." It's an alt history where the President orders the US to race for Berlin against the Soviets, and the USSR in a panic engages the US battlegroup and starts WWIII. The United States using nuclear weapons to break the back of the Communists probably would've been the most merciful thing to ever happen to the Slavs in all of human history.


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## Remove Goat (Apr 13, 2019)

@oddish because he's an annoying ashkenazi jewcel that needs to be gassed


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## Ashenthorn (Apr 13, 2019)

Crippled Eagle said:


> The JFK thing was the subject of a Stephen King novel. The basis of the idea is that a guy discovers a time warp, uses it so save JFK, goes back to modern day and sees it as a shithole because JFK started a nuclear war, and in order to save America he has to go back in time to kill JFK. It's not very good but it's kinda interesting.


11.22.63 is a miniseries on Hulu based on the book starring James Franco.





						Watch 11.22.63 Streaming Online | Hulu (Free Trial)
					

Start your free trial to watch 11.22.63 and other popular TV shows and movies including new releases, classics, Hulu Originals, and more. It’s all on Hulu.




					www.hulu.com
				




I thought it was pretty good.


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## CoolGuyHitler (Apr 13, 2019)

Tom from Myspace. Maybe if it weren't for him social media won't be as big as it is today.


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## 666DEATHGAY (Apr 13, 2019)

If your answer to this is someone who is alive today you are retarded


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## UnKillShredDur (Apr 13, 2019)

Reginald Veljohnson


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## Miss Misery (Apr 13, 2019)

Mitochondrial Eve!


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## oddish (Apr 13, 2019)

Remove Goat said:


> @oddish because he's an annoying ashkenazi jewcel that needs to be gassed



You don't have to travel back in time to kill me, retard, I'm here now.


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## Not an_ime g_irl (Apr 13, 2019)

Vasili Arkhipov
To watch the world burn.


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## Miss Misery (Apr 13, 2019)

UnKillFill said:


> Reginald Veljohnson


Still bitter in the afterlife, homie? You gotta let that shit go.


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## Sinner's Sandwich (Apr 13, 2019)

The people who invented vaccines and created autism!11

And the idiots who created islam


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## FeverGlitch (Apr 13, 2019)

Angela Merkel


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## NARPASSWORD (Apr 13, 2019)

John Kricfalusi.
Ren and Stimpy was overrated trash, BTW.

EDIT: I change my mind. I would instead kill Lauren Faust for causing all the stupid brony madness.


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## Wendy Carter (Apr 13, 2019)

Honestly, I couldn't kill a person to save my life. But if I could, it would definitely be John Money, if not because he made degenerate experiments on children and drove them to suicide, then at least because he advocated for pedophilia. And not only did he get away with both, he is still being praised as some sort of trailblazer, and his works are being used in social sciences as proof that gender is a social construct, even though David never identified as a girl.

Also, if you don't mind, but I think this thread would've been a better fit in Deep Thoughts.


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## Stephanie Bustcakes (Apr 13, 2019)

I already have. Several times.

I went back in time and killed Jonbenet Ramsey as a child before she grew up to be the most prolific serial killer in world history.

I went back in time and killed Franklin Deleno Roosevelt before he caused the Allies to lose WWII.

I went back in time and killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman before they went on their killing spree that would have left 37 people dead, including famed running back and heisman trophy winner OJ Simpson.


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## Sexual Chocolate (Apr 13, 2019)

If I could travel back in time I'd be too busy being rich and banging Lorraine McFly to care about murdering anyone


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## Shibaru (Apr 13, 2019)

Kero

(But seriously tho, if i could travel back in time I’d be too busy blowing my money away at Sam goody to even give a shit about killing someone)


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## Foltest (Apr 13, 2019)

I would go back and kill Peter the Great, making sure that the Swedish empire would last for a bit longer.


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## Hell (Apr 13, 2019)

Columbus because he was a fucking stupid idiot who ruined an entire continent out of sheer greed and endless thirst for gold.

Conquerors and other Christian niggers who exported their desert Semitic cult, Christianity is objectively shit.


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## UnKillShredDur (Apr 14, 2019)

The Ghost of ODB said:


> Still bitter in the afterlife, homie? You gotta let that shit go.


It's not like that fam, I just want to have a buddy in the afterlife.

Check this shit out:


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## Diesel (Apr 14, 2019)

I don't need to travel back in time, I could kill my self right now.


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## Khorne Flakes (Apr 14, 2019)

I'd kill Marx before he started writing.


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## ProgKing of the North (Apr 14, 2019)

Khorne Flakes said:


> I'd kill Marx before he started writing.


Somebody would've come up with the idea of "hey, all the poors should rise up and divide the rich folks' shit amongst themselves" if Marx hadn't


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## Khorne Flakes (Apr 14, 2019)

ProgKing of the North said:


> Somebody would've come up with the idea of "hey, all the poors should rise up and divide the rich folks' shit amongst themselves" if Marx hadn't


Well maybe, but maybe we wouldn't have had the USSR also.


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## Genkoda (Apr 14, 2019)

Danilo Ilić . The guy who coordinated the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Tensions with the countries would have still been a bit rough, but peace agreements were to be attempted. With his assassination, it started the chain reaction that triggered world war 1. It also caused the Treaty of Versailles , which fucked over Germany. As such, It made both communism and nazism a popular thing amongst the population(slowly growing in population at least). This in turn caused world war 2, which all went downhill from there(unless you like anime).

If that would not work, then at least Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. Because fuck him that is why,


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## Крыса (Apr 14, 2019)

Hell said:


> Columbus because he was a fucking stupid idiot who ruined an entire continent out of sheer greed and endless thirst for gold.
> 
> Conquerors and other Christian niggers who exported their desert Semitic cult, Christianity is objectively shit.


I was trying to find someone whose death would massively fuck with everything and I thought Columbus too but it probably wouldn't change much, it would delay things a little bit maybe.

Jesus ? How much is Christianity the produce of its time vs the consequence of the actions of a single man ? Would a similar religion have emerged ? That'd be interesting to see.


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## ConfederateIrishman (Apr 14, 2019)

Martin Luther

Less out of a desire to make things better and more out of an academic curiosity to see if anyone would take his place and if so how different would the reformation be?


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## Крыса (Apr 14, 2019)

ConfederateIrishman said:


> Martin Luther
> 
> Less out of a desire to make things better and more out of an academic curiosity to see if anyone would take his place and if so how different would the reformation be?


Same as Marx I think, he became popular because many of his ideas were shared by a lot of people already, so the specifics/doctrine would have been different maybe but it wouldn't change the timeline too much I think.

Side note : a very interesting and yet less known episode happened in Germany at the same time as the reformation : the Peasants' War. One of the main characters, Thomas Müntzer, shared some of Luther's ideas but ultimately and violently opposed him because he thought Luther was a bootlicker on the side of the princes and nobles, not the people's (which was quite accurate). Müntzer didn't want to just get rid of Rome he wanted to bring on a kind of apocalyptic protocommunism.


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## Unog (Apr 15, 2019)

John Montagu just to see if anything would be different, and if so how much, without sandwiches.


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## nagant 1895 (Apr 15, 2019)

Unog said:


> John Montagu just to see if anything would be different, and if so how much, without sandwiches.


You are a monster.


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## Remove Goat (Apr 15, 2019)

Leon Nagant so the world of revolvers looks better


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## Nick Gars (Apr 15, 2019)

The Fool said:


> me


You beat me to the joke, but it's unironically the truth. Alchohol is taking it's sweet fucking time.


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## AnOminous (Apr 15, 2019)

Some completely random caveman dude just to see if the butterfly effect thing is real and it would actually change everything.


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## Crocophile (Apr 15, 2019)

Does it have to be a person? Because if it can be any creature I want to pop a cap in whatever smug, amphibious dickhole decided he was too good for the ocean and decided to start life on land. The audacity of that fish-lipped bitch.

If it has to be a human though, idk, probably Julius Caesar but as like a fetus (or else his mom). Dumb fucker set humanity back 1000 years by burning Alexandria down. 23 stab wounds wasn't enough.


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## Wingus Dongshire (Apr 17, 2019)

Linus Torvalds

Not because I dislike him, I just want to spare him a future of domestic enslavement as he watches his child burn before him.


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## Witthel (May 23, 2020)

Bonus points if it isn't someone obvious like Hitler or Stalin.


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## NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE (May 23, 2020)

does the historical figure need to not be alive in the current year? if so then what's the point in killing them? nevermind I'm retarded

Emmeline Pankhurst, imagine how much better the world would be if women still couldn't vote.


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## Tootsie Bear (May 23, 2020)

I would kill Kim Il-Sung just because I would like to know what would happened if he didn't come to power in North Korea and what the Korea peninsula would be like today if his grandson, Kim Jong-Un wasn't in power.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 23, 2020)

Franz Ferdinand


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## DumbDude42 (May 23, 2020)

either him, or robespierre


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## Robert James (May 23, 2020)

John Wilkes Booth Before he got Lincoln or maybe FDR halfway through WW2.


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## Fougaro (May 23, 2020)

The only correct answer is Woodrow Wilson.


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## Judge Holden (May 23, 2020)

I refer you to my answer the last time a thread for this question was made


> As for my choice of who to kill, unfortunately I subscribe to the "mass movements and causes >>>> individuals" view of historical events and thus I doubt that killing any one person from hitler to stalin would seriously improve history much, since figures at that height of power and influence were invariably supported by a vast pyramid network of underlings and fanatics and opportunists and such who could easily replace them, and once we get into the mid 20th century we get to the age of "ok if shit goes wrong it could literally wipe out humanity due to nukes flying around" given how many near misses we have had so far, which makes any choice that much more difficult.
> 
> Personally though I would cautiously chose this nigga, since he was singularly responsible more than any other for the Soviets getting nukes, which is what both spiralled humanity into dangerous nuclear proliferation and also ensured that their shitty totalitarian fuckery could safely and happily spread under the aegis of "if you try to stop us we burn the world down" which is something the 20th century really couldda done without. If the soviets are effectively neutralised and compelled to play nice with the West, there is far less excuse or opportunity for murica and the west to be so invested in all the shady shit we did to try and keep the soviets in check.
> 
> Obviously though this is all highly debatable and speculative, and its entirely possible this would backfire and fuck things up worse, but removing both the spectre of nuclear war and the ability and motivation of the Soviets to act with such aggressive impunity in international affairs doesn't really have that many obvious downsides in my mind unless the US randomly turns psycho which seems unlikely as extreme authoritarians would have far less paranoia to court without fear of the soviets in popular consciousness.



I still hold to this answer. The late 40s/early 50s america was far from perfect, but it was still one of the most positively liberal and open nations on the planet back then and by far the strongest nation on the anti-totalitarian front. Maybe not having the USSR as a serious rival would slow down social and technological progress, but I genuinely think it would be worth the infinitely lower international tensions a pax borgarcana would bring and all the needless proxy wars and insurrections not having happened, and given how america would have been as capable of enough self reflection and constructive internal dissent to keep improving as the UK was at the height of its imperial power, its entirely possible even the tech/social gap might not even be particularly great


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## MAPK phosphatase (May 23, 2020)

NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE said:


> does the historical figure need to not be alive in the current year? if so then what's the point in killing them?


I figure we get to chose when we kill the figure, so like time traveling back in time to kill Hitler when he first joined the Nazi party, or something like that.


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## murgatroid (May 23, 2020)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> Franz Ferdinand


I agree, that band sucked. They all deserve to die.


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## A Useless Fish (May 23, 2020)

I wouldn't kill Marx, I'd kill fucking Engels. This motherfucker was a rich asshole, and he was the only reason that fat, hairy fuck was able to eat while writing his bullshit. If Engels hadn't carried his hairy freeloader friend, Karl would have starved, or maybe, for once in his life _got a fucking job_. The thought of that fucker going hungry, and not endlessly flinging shit at other, equally unemployable assholes all days is very amusing to me. Also, the potential consequences for the future are impossible to comprehend.

Failing that, I'd drown this fucker in the nearest river before he ever left his hometown.





Without Lenin, there would never had been a Communist Russia in the first place. If Russia hadn't gone Communist, the fear of the Bolshevik boogeyman might have stopped Mussolini, Hitler, and even fucking _Mao_ ( and then, by proxy, Pol Pot) seizing power in their respective countries. The amount of human misery that smug, baldy fuck is responsible for is almost incomprehensible.


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## Shield Breaker (May 23, 2020)

I would talk Margaret Sanger's mother into an abortion.


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## byuu (May 23, 2020)

T.E. Lawrence. Fuck the Arabs.


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## Battlecruiser3000ad (May 23, 2020)

Bismarck


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## Heartmoth (May 23, 2020)

The first mammal to evolve on the planet.
Mammals were a mistake.


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## Mr. Rieper (May 23, 2020)

My specialty. It would be John Money. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Money

Without this pedo-peudosience fag, we wouldn't have the "gender theory" crap being taught as absolute LAW in most western countries now... And we would still have those two poor boys he expeiremented on, tortured and raped.


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## DumbDude42 (May 23, 2020)

Battlecruiser3000ad said:


> Bismarck


this one is interesting. maybe it would have resulted in the german states eventually unifying under austrian (instead of prussian) leadership and becoming part of the habsburg state?


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## Feline Supremacist (May 23, 2020)

Prescott Bush so we wouldn't have all those Bushes.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 23, 2020)

Mr. Rieper said:


> And we would still have those two poor boys he expeiremented on, tortured and raped.


Ahem. One of them was a girl, you fucking bigot.


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## Botchy Galoop (May 23, 2020)

Genghis Khan. I am curious to see what the male genome would look like today without his genetics.


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## No Exit (May 23, 2020)

Botchy Galoop said:


> Genghis Khan. I am curious to see what the male genome would look like today without his genetics.


Or how much longer the Silk Road would need to have developed.

On the same idea, I'd pick Einstein.


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## Judge Holden (May 23, 2020)

A Useless Fish said:


> View attachment 1315508
> 
> I wouldn't kill Marx, I'd kill fucking Engels. This motherfucker was a rich asshole, and he was the only reason that fat, hairy fuck was able to eat while writing his bullshit. If Engels hadn't carried his hairy freeloader friend, Karl would have starved, or maybe, for once in his life _got a fucking job_. The thought of that fucker going hungry, and not endlessly flinging shit at other, equally unemployable assholes all days is very amusing to me. Also, the potential consequences for the future are impossible to comprehend.
> 
> ...


The lack of Bolsheviks is such a historical curveball that its honestly impossible to say if it would be better or worse. All of a sudden you remove the foundation plank for the rise of global fascism, the second world war, the cold war, and everything that happened because of these events, and with all this gone or drastically altered shit is just impossible to piece together

At a guess though, assuming more liberal revolutionaries like the mensheviks or straight up reformers wind up in charge, then Russia either continues being unstable as hell for the next decade or resumes and slightly accelerates the drive towards modernisation begun by the Tsarist government, depending on how the end of WW1 plays out. Either way its probably not going to be directly threatening its neighbours nor exporting the revolution any time soon, which means that post defeat germany's communist element will be even more at a disadvantage and may cease its wannabe revolutionary behavior before it even begins, thus removing a vast chunk of the proto-nazis credibility as "fighters of communist thugs".

Basically assuming my assumed assumptions are assumably correct, the political establishments worldwide will be a hell of a lot more chill without the "red menace" and right wing populists will be a hell of a lot less influenced/inflamed by aggressive communist antics to go fully into fascism analogues which removes the "brown menace" and kinda makes me think the world would largely go back to the pre WW1 era in terms of international politics and social/technological progress, perhaps more accelerated by the weakening of european empires enough to cause enough "managable" friction to keep military and civil rights developments bubbling away


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## Imperialist #348 (May 23, 2020)

Yakov Yurosky, i mean look what he did to ma boy.


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## A Useless Fish (May 23, 2020)

Judge Holden said:


> The lack of Bolsheviks is such a historical curveball that its honestly impossible to say if it would be better or worse. All of a sudden you remove the foundation plank for the rise of global fascism, the second world war, the cold war, and everything that happened because of these events, and with all this gone or drastically altered shit is just impossible to piece together
> 
> At a guess though, assuming more liberal revolutionaries like the mensheviks or straight up reformers wind up in charge, then Russia either continues being unstable as hell for the next decade or resumes and slightly accelerates the drive towards modernisation begun by the Tsarist government, depending on how the end of WW1 plays out. Either way its probably not going to be directly threatening its neighbours nor exporting the revolution any time soon, which means that post defeat germany's communist element will be even more at a disadvantage and may cease its wannabe revolutionary behavior before it even begins, thus removing a vast chunk of the proto-nazis credibility as "fighters of communist thugs".
> 
> Basically assuming my assumed assumptions are assumably correct, the political establishments worldwide will be a hell of a lot more chill without the "red menace" and right wing populists will be a hell of a lot less influenced/inflamed by aggressive communist antics to go fully into fascism analogues which removes the "brown menace" and kinda makes me think the world would largely go back to the pre WW1 era in terms of international politics and social/technological progress, perhaps more accelerated by the weakening of european empires enough to cause enough "managable" friction to keep military and civil rights developments bubbling away



It's a really fascinating thought experiment though, isn't it? I think Kerensky would still have fallen, but I don't think the Menshiviks would have taken over. They had a chance before Lenin's gang took power, but held back because they were such dogmatic Marxists, they though they couldn't take power due to some Marxist dogmatist bullshit requiring a Bourgeoise Dictatorship or something to occur, first. The Tsar and his whole family might not have been killed, so there's another huge historic curveball. 

I cannot, for the life of me, imagine how things could have been worse than they were if the Bolsheviks hadn't been around. The world would have been a lot more chill, and I daresay a lot more democratic and, hopefully, peaceful.


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## Agent Abe Caprine (May 23, 2020)

Leopold II of Belgium.


Would Congo be in better shape without him? Probably. If not, at least less hands would be chopped off.


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## Superman93 (May 23, 2020)

This faggot created a website used by exceptional autist that is still being used to this day!


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## Woke Blue Muttlema (May 23, 2020)

Woodrow Wilson.
More Teddy Roosevelt, Yurope doesnt have a legitimate reason to despise muricans, Jim Crow laws don't happen and world politics would be less polarized.

Muhammad ibn Saud.
Founder of the ruling dynasty in Saudi Arabia, which helped salafis rise. Granted them rising is more due to the Sykes-Picot agreements, but they existing was always a treath.

Joseph Mengele
I know is too easy but OP just said not Hitler or Stalin.

Hosni Mubarak
This pigdog just makes me sick. Corrupt deviant and disgusting.


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## AgriDrThunder (May 23, 2020)

Charles Dickens. 

Fuck that nigga. I had to read so many of his slow, boring, bone-dry ass books in school that I hate him with a passion. That motherfucker* has to* die and die before writing any of his shit.


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## wokelizard (May 23, 2020)

Stanislav Petrov.


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## Hal (May 23, 2020)

Karl Marx is a obvious choice. And definitely Woodrow Wilson.


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## Wraith (May 23, 2020)

I really had to take time and think about this.
Everyone involved in the Talmud. I don't know if it's a single or multiple writers, but burn all of them at the stake.


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## A Grey Cat (May 23, 2020)

Bonnie zacharly.... Go look that name up then thank me for creating a world without bronies


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## Ligoskj (May 23, 2020)

Harry Truman, Dick Leitsch, Betty Friedan, The Clintons, Boris Yeltsin
I would say, I would actually kill every US president since the end the World War 2, aside of maybe Eisenhower. People_ really _love to talk about evil Bolsheviks, Communists and Maoists, but they have never ever noticed the damage that the post-WW2 American elite has done to the whole world over the past 75 years.


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## AMHOLIO (May 23, 2020)

Heartmoth said:


> The first mammal to evolve on the planet.
> Mammals were a mistake.


Finally, the first confirmed lizardman on the farms.  Can we join the illuminati through you or has our incel and trans killing form not reached that level of power yet?



DumbDude42 said:


> View attachment 1315322
> 
> either him, or robespierre


I feel but to be fair this meme is also right


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## PrussiansMarchingOn1819 (May 23, 2020)

Oliver Cromwell
Sultan Mehmet II
 Tariq ibn-Ziyad,


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## Chicken Picnic (May 23, 2020)

Emily Brontë so I never would have had to have my life tainted by the attrocity that is wuthering heights


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## No. 7 cat (May 23, 2020)

ωσкє вℓυє мυѕℓιм qυєєη said:


> Woodrow Wilson.
> More Teddy Roosevelt, Yurope doesnt have a legitimate reason to despise muricans, Jim Crow laws don't happen and world politics would be less polarized.
> 
> Muhammad ibn Saud.
> ...



Dunno about Mubarak. He seems an interchangeable dictator, with a job of  keeping the little people quiet or riled up against something imaginary, and the loot flowing towards the powers that be. I would opt for Nasser. Inspiring and personally brave he might have been, but his socialist economic policies meant genuine economic growth in Egypt really lagged behind population growth. Socialism is never good. Temporary economic development from house building and importing steel mills just cannot be sustained.


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## Witthel (May 23, 2020)

Muhammad 

Mainly because I'm curious about how history would've played out if Islam never reared its ugly ass head.


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## Woke Blue Muttlema (May 23, 2020)

UnimportantFarmer said:


> Dunno about Mubarak. He seems an interchangeable dictator, with a job of  keeping the little people quiet or riled up against something imaginary, and the loot flowing towards the powers that be. I would opt for Nasser. Inspiring and personally brave he might have been, but his socialist economic policies meant genuine economic growth in Egypt really lagged behind population growth. Socialism is never good. Temporary economic development from house building and importing steel mills just cannot be sustained.


I agree with your stance absolutely, Mubarak pisses me off a tad more personally for his "punishment".


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## 1Tonka_Truck (May 23, 2020)

Robert James said:


> John Wilkes Booth Before he got Lincoln


I support this only because John Wilkes Booth was a couple years slow. 

Osama bin Laden back in the 80's. If that doesn't work, as many CIA spooks as it takes to keep them from supporting Al-Qaeda against the ruskies.


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## ScamL Likely (May 23, 2020)

I'd kill Ernest Hemingway before he started writing because his influence is a cancer on literature.


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## No. 7 cat (May 23, 2020)

1Tonka_Truck said:


> I support this only because John Wilkes Booth was a couple years slow.
> 
> Osama bin Laden back in the 80's. If that doesn't work, as many CIA spooks as it takes to keep them from supporting Al-Qaeda against the ruskies.


Jefferson Davis was horrified at the assassination, not just because he would be blamed, which he was for a time, but it would mean a harsher Reconstruction for the post bellum South. A milder Reconstruction might've meant a far less toxic postwar atmosphere.


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## A Welsh Cake (May 23, 2020)

Margaret Thatcher so I can learn where her phylactery is.


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## Kamov Ka-52 (May 23, 2020)

Woodrow Wilson. For many, many reasons.


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## PenguinSuitAlice (May 23, 2020)

Ricimer immediately before he killed Majorian. Would Rome still stand if the Last Strong Emperor had not been unjustly murdered by that villainous magister militum?


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## Wendy Wheelchair (May 23, 2020)

witthel said:


> Muhammad
> 
> Mainly because I'm curious about how history would've played out if Islam never reared its ugly ass head.


This is the one I think about often. Islam lead to the conquering and unification of a large swath of land that was full of just wandering faggots. It then went on to destroy a Christian Egypt that was the center of a lot intellectualism. Islam is what ultimately lead to the fall of the Roman empire with the sacking of Constantinople. Islam set Europe back centuries with its constant raids and what it did in Iberia.

I think the next target would be Mao post WW2 victory. Get it so that Chiang Kai-Shek wins and sets up something akin to what South Korea and Japan had under US supervision.


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## Skully (May 23, 2020)

Lol I'd straight up murder the first human being to walk this planet just to see what happens


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## User names must be unique (May 23, 2020)

Klemens von Metternich.


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## Return of the Freaker (May 23, 2020)

Chicken Picnic said:


> Emily Brontë so I never would have had to have my life tainted by the attrocity that is wuthering heights


But then how would Kate Bush kick off her career?

Anyway, I'll say John Money, Woodrow Wilson, and I'll throw in one Richard von Coudenhove-Kalergi


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## Forgetful Gynn (May 23, 2020)

Keynes.



> When _Time_ magazine included Keynes among its Most Important People of the Century in 1999, it stated that "his radical idea that governments should spend money they don't have may have saved capitalism."


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## soy_king (May 23, 2020)

Mohammed. Islam is arguably the most cancerous and regressive religion ever conceived of, behind even Marxism.


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## King Buzzo (May 23, 2020)

Sima Yi, just to see how far the Three (or Four if you want to count Yan) Kingdoms would go to restore the Han or set their own dynasty. Also, Sima Yi must of had the greatest luck with the odds of his intense rival, Zhuge Liang, passing during Shu's northern campaigns, the internal weathering of the Cao Wei kingdom for him and his family to usurp, and the cakewalk conquest of Wu afterwards.


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## LordofTendons (May 23, 2020)

Henri Le Roux, inventor of salted caramel. 

I fucking hate salted caramel. I only like it plain. The problem with salted caramel is that the idiot adding the salt typically adds too goddamn much. This results in a ruined sugar high and makes the caramel useless. Because of this French asshole, people all over the place think that they MUST add salt to the caramel no matter what and I never get plain caramel. This fucker has ruined my enjoyment of sweets and snuffed out one of my thousand points of light. May his dogs all die and his sewers all overflow.


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## MrTroll (May 23, 2020)

Hayao Miyazaki before he invented anime.


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## epigenes (May 24, 2020)

ScamL Likely said:


> I'd kill Ernest Hemingway before he started writing because his influence is a cancer on literature.


wish I knew what it was like to have such phenomenally bad taste lmfao
imagine not being able to visualize what a person's writing about unless they spend pages and pages describing it where a single sentence would suffice



User names must be unique said:


> Klemens von Metternich.


very bad answer, would have been bismarck's equal had he wielded comparable power relative to the austrian crown. the concert of europe was destroyed by lesser men than the one who designed it

anyway, muhammad's a good answer because his failure to exist might have prevented the middle east from uniting into a powerful state but going back that far begs the question of whether someone worse might inevitably have replaced him. I'd have to go with either (a) hitler in early 1941 before the start of operation barbarossa, (b) harry truman before he fired douglas macarthur, or (c) karl marx for obvious reasons


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## ScamL Likely (May 24, 2020)

epigenes said:


> wish I knew what it was like to have such phenomenally bad taste lmfao
> imagine not being able to visualize what a person's writing about unless they spend pages and pages describing it where a single sentence would suffice


If you think that's the issue you were born without tastebuds.


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## Ivan Shatov (May 24, 2020)

The problem with killing a historical figure: they are typically just figureheads for prevailing social / cultural attitudes. Someone else would replace them, it's rare you could change the course of history by replacing a single person. Kill Napoleon and Robespierre would have taken his place.

Additionally, they tend to be complicated figures. Without the Napoleonic Code, there never would have been an effort to make the law more accessible to the people.

That said, if I was going to go back in time and prevent one person from becoming who they came to be: Mao. The cult of personality around him was just awful, the excesses of the Cultural Revolution could have been avoided entirely in his absence.


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## Canned Bread (May 24, 2020)

Alan Turing, just because it would be funny to see what the world would be like without his concepts that eventually gave birth to the modern day computer.


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## epigenes (May 24, 2020)

ScamL Likely said:


> If you think that's the issue you were born without tastebuds.


enlighten me


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## ScamL Likely (May 24, 2020)

epigenes said:


> enlighten me


Only Allah can lead a man away from a life of sodomy, brother. Sometimes it's off the ledge of a building, sometimes it's through a shotgun, but such is the way. I hope this answers your question, but if not I'd recommend picking up a qu'ran.


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