# The #Ralphaswamp



## Sam Losco (Nov 28, 2020)

He did indeed get some land in Louisiana from his dad, and I guess Howard Ralph is his grandfather uncle.
See the attached tax doc PDF. JPG of it here:



It doesn't mention Ethan yet, it does mention Ronald in the property description.
It's 26.67 acres.
It's the highlighted bit.


So where exactly is it? Right here in the middle of fucking nowhere.

So if Ralph's name isn't on the tax docs yet how did I find it? Ralph told me about it while bragging.
I've had some email "conversations" with him (relevant one attached). This bit of info was told to me in an email chain he started after being triggered by this thread.


Oh wait, "Undivided 1/2 interest" only half owner? Yeah, only got his dad's half. lol Funny because he also got a house in West Memphis from his dad that he only half owns.



532 Lois Marie Cv is now also in his name and his brothers. 1/2 ownership yet again. It's a crack shack only about 100 sqft bigger than the current mansion. Notice that typo with Bungle drive. Should be Bangle drive which is his current address until he supposedly moves next week.


Might wanna replace that mailbox there bud.

320 W Danner is a pretty big house, 2,900 sqft, owned by Howard Ralph.

His grandfather uncle seems to have done pretty well. Too bad he has a deadbeat, morbidly obese, scat obsessed degenerate, high school dropout grandson nephew that lies to everyone about having a college degree, who knocked up a girl 15+ years his junior that he literally had to wait until she graduated high school to then lure out to his crack shack. Hopefully he has some other grandchildren offspring/nephews/nieces he can proud of.


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## Fannyscum (Apr 24, 2022)

Tweet | Archive


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

So who wants to buy the land once Ethan Ralph loses it?


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## Hüftpriester (Apr 25, 2022)

It's almost like Ralph comes from a long line of shit eaters, and the thumb has been genetically adapted for optimal truffle picking.


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## Spergichu (Apr 25, 2022)

I can't believe Ralph owns property right below the town of Copenhagen.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 25, 2022)

I hope he finds gold or oil down there in his smelly swamp, I want to see an actual world tour, not his gay Lisbon trip. There's more than one city in the world, Ralph.

Maybe he can go hunt for truffles in that putrid marsh.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

LOL he’s sending pics of deeds and shit to strangers wtf is his malfunction?  Who does that?  Ralph buddy get some help.


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## MeltyTW (Apr 25, 2022)

a crack shack in a city my visiting family and friends passing through called "a shithole you didnt want to stop in and a fucking nowhere shrek swamp! finally a worthy replacement to his old cartoon family shack he sadly moved out of. 


Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> LOL he’s sending pics of deeds and shit to strangers wtf is his malfunction?  Who does that?  Ralph buddy get some help.


he has to prove every little bit of anything he actually has because otherwise its just coping that true things on video arent trooooooooo and yelling that a man with quad tits is somehow based and ralpha


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## I'm Just A Worm (Apr 25, 2022)

Oh Lawdy, Ralphamale's got hisslef some fine Swampland near the Mighty Ouachita river!   Yee-haw!

With $600,000 in investement, this fetid ol' stinking swampland should be drained enough to grab some rusty aluminum and duct tape, n' set up a little rickety holler with no plumbing or electricity - Appalacian style!  

A-hogs BTFO'd!


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (Apr 25, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> LOL he’s sending pics of deeds and shit to strangers wtf is his malfunction?  Who does that?  Ralph buddy get some help.


My favorite was when he said he wouldn’t respond to the haters for a week, lasted all of an hour, and has now responded to haters at a record-breaking pace. He is 
 going to go down in history as the most upset by people on the internet. 

If he took two months away from the internet to be a good dad and raise his kid, he would own everybody. If he took the high road and just said “I’m focused on my family, please grow up and stop attempting to rile me up.” he would actually shut everyone down.

Too bad he is incapable of that.


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## bile demon (Apr 25, 2022)

>the closest town is COPEnhagen
Lol


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## Bogdandoff (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Oh Lawdy, Ralphamale's got hisslef some fine Swampland near the Mighty Ouachita river!   Yee-haw!
> 
> With $600,000 in investement, this fetid ol' stinking swampland should be drained enough to grab some rusty aluminum and duct tape, n' set up a little rickety holler with no plumbing or electricity - Appalacian style!
> 
> A-hogs BTFO'd!


Imagine driving a boat out on the Swamp and hearing a hollering in the Distance.


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## I'm Just A Worm (Apr 25, 2022)

Hüftpriester said:


> It's almost like Ralph comes from a long line of shit eaters, and the thumb has been genetically adapted for optimal truffle picking.
> View attachment 3214986


Seriously, WTF is wrong with his thumb?   The top half of it is bending nearly 90 degrees.    Where are his bones?   Have they dissolved due to poor diet?  I couldn't do that if I tried.    Repulsive.

Also clip your fucking nails before you take a photo to "own" the haters, you braindead filthy alcholic.   The nails are so long they're nearly protruding off his thumb.    

Ralph's body is an Eldrich Abomination.


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## Pale Empress (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Also clip your fucking nails before you take a photo to "own" the haters, you braindead filthy alcholic.   The nails are so long they're nearly protruding off his thumb.


Even worse is the realization that women allow him to cram those talons up their orifices. I'd wager that internal bleeding is a reoccuring issue across all of his relationships.


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## AltisticRight (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Seriously, WTF is wrong with his thumb?   The top half of it is bending nearly 90 degrees.    Where are his bones?   Have they dissolved due to poor diet?  I couldn't do that if I tried.    Repulsive.
> 
> Also clip your fucking nails before you take a photo to "own" the haters, you braindead filthy alcholic.   The nails are so long they're nearly protruding off his thumb.
> 
> Ralph's body is an Eldrich Abomination.


Those trotters are evolutionarily adapted to the assholes of barely legal ternager girls.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> I hope he finds gold or oil down there in his smelly swamp, I want to see an actual world tour, not his gay Lisbon trip. There's more than one city in the world, Ralph.
> 
> Maybe he can go hunt for truffles in that putrid marsh.


Kiwi Farms should fund an expedition for the Kiwis in the area to explore the land. Maybe we will find a dead body in there.


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## Hüftpriester (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Seriously, WTF is wrong with his thumb? The top half of it is bending nearly 90 degrees. Where are his bones? Have they dissolved due to poor diet? I couldn't do that if I tried. Repulsive.


Even when he's just giving a thumbs up, it bends back at 45 degrees. Here he is at afpac in an ill fitting suit. I have no idea how this happens.


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## Harlan Wick (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> Those trotters are evolutionarily adapted to the assholes of barely legal ternager girls.


There needs to be a barfing emoji for that comment


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> Those trotters are evolutionarily adapted to the assholes of barely legal ternager girls.





Harlan Wick said:


> There needs to be a barfing emoji for that comment


I'll do it for you.


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## Harlan Wick (Apr 25, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> I'll do it for you.


Thank you for indulging an old man's laziness.


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## MeltyTW (Apr 25, 2022)

lol i just realized some fucking cajun shrimpers are going to have to hear some rage pig hollarin' throughout the swamp


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## AltisticRight (Apr 25, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> Kiwi Farms should fund an expedition for the Kiwis in the area to explore the land. Maybe we will find a dead body in there.


Or three, the West Memphis three.


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## Stasi (Apr 25, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> LOL he’s sending pics of deeds and shit to strangers wtf is his malfunction?  Who does that?  Ralph buddy get some help.


Right? This is utterly insane to me and no functioning human would do that, hell you could probably count on one hand the number of cows on this site that would email personal documents to strangers because they were made fun of on the internet so Ralph is in a truly exclusive club of utter idiots.

Is this new or has he been having email slap fights with ayylawgs for a while? My ralphalore is rusty.


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## Butwhythough (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> I hope he finds gold or oil down there in his smelly swamp, I want to see an actual world tour, not his gay Lisbon trip. There's more than one city in the world, Ralph.
> 
> Maybe he can go hunt for truffles in that putrid marsh.


If it's in the swamp land, more than likely he'll wake up with his house sunken about a quarter of the way into the earth. Only 5 star days for the ralphamale


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## I'm Just A Worm (Apr 25, 2022)

Hüftpriester said:


> Even when he's just giving a thumbs up, it bends back at 45 degrees. Here he is at afpac in an ill fitting suit. I have no idea how this happens.
> View attachment 3215076






One Teen-Diddlin' Thumb up from the RalphaRapist!


I approve of my Grandpappy's Fetid Swampland.  Bitch.   I'm a King, if you want to know the truth about it.  DO YOU UNDERSTAND??


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## Spergichu (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> I hope he finds gold or oil down there in his smelly swamp, I want to see an actual world tour, not his gay Lisbon trip. There's more than one city in the world, Ralph.


Like the Russell Crowe Show, but he loses every fight.


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## GreeneCoDeputy (Apr 25, 2022)

Some topographical data, per Google Earth 3D view.


Pink area is average ground level or below -- there are some small spots below -1m but mostly just average low lying area.

Highest point on the land (small rise) is approximately ground level + 2.5m



Surrounding area


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## MvAgusta (Apr 25, 2022)

The Ralphaswamp? By this point we need to have a thread on the Ralph Dynasty. Howard Ralph, Ronnie Ralph, Sandra Ralph, Ralph’s uncle, Ralph’s mentally disabled brother, Ethan Ralph + his baby mommas Pantsu & Faith and of course the demon babies Alexander Vickers and Rozanna Sandra Ralph.


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## Harlan Wick (Apr 25, 2022)

So has the Gunt made plans to turn this property into a broadcast compound? Complete with Cuban cigars, hookers, blackjack, Christ is Kang, and blow.


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## MirnaMinkoff (Apr 25, 2022)

Capt. Jean Luc Ritard said:


> My favorite was when he said he wouldn’t respond to the haters for a week, lasted all of an hour, and has now responded to haters at a record-breaking pace. He is
> going to go down in history as the most upset by people on the internet.
> 
> If he took two months away from the internet to be a good dad and raise his kid, he would own everybody. If he took the high road and just said “I’m focused on my family, please grow up and stop attempting to rile me up.” he would actually shut everyone down.
> ...


Ralph couldn’t afford to take any time off to be a father, fuck he wouldn’t even cancel the Thrift Giant fiasco to spend the first five days of his daughters life with her. Ralph needs to be yelling and carnival barking for tips eight hours a day. He’s barely pulling in 100 viewers, if he disappeared for two weeks his small cadre of retards would have moved on to other shows, like wrestling recaps and AM radio.


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## Sam Losco (Apr 25, 2022)

Stasi said:


> Right? This is utterly insane to me and no functioning human would do that, hell you could probably count on one hand the number of cows on this site that would email personal documents to strangers because they were made fun of on the internet so Ralph is in a truly exclusive club of utter idiots.
> 
> Is this new or has he been having email slap fights with ayylawgs for a while? My ralphalore is rusty.


The OP post is from 2020 around the time I was sniping him. Admittedly, I emailed him first and we had a back and forth that I said I would not publicly post and so I have not. Unlike Ralph, I am an honest and trustworthy man.
But it was exactly what you'd expect. He was no different in a private email exchange than he is on Twitter. Granted, he knew who I was so had no reason to be pleasant. 
After that, he started a couple other email chains with me to gloat and cope. I have posted those since there was no agreement not to. One of which is the one that is now in this thread OP.


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## Polyboros2 (Apr 25, 2022)

It's bisected by a road! Even better for the Ralphamale cause as far as I'm concerned he owns two(smaller) pieces of land!


REGENDarySumanai said:


> So who wants to buy the land once Ethan Ralph loses it?


Will have to ask if Faith is willing to sell.



Harlan Wick said:


> So has the Gunt made plans to turn this property into a broadcast compound? Complete with Cuban cigars, hookers, blackjack, Christ is Kang, and blow.


Closest coffee is McDonalds at 9 minutes, actual coffee shop where he might be able to get his Lattes is 42 minutes away. Even bigger killer, closest liquor store is 47 minutes.

Depending on the flooding situation, this could be a nice section to build a house on. Hell even the SE triangle is probably enough for a quaint little place...

For a All American, God fearing, small town folks type. Or someone who likes nature, very undeveloped, a wildlife reserve pretty close.

Ralph is a hoodrat. He wouldn't be able to stand the lack of the constant coddling of metropolitan living.


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## FujiWuji (Apr 25, 2022)

Isn't null looking for some land and a house? Perfect opportunity.


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## blacksmith tony (Apr 25, 2022)

FujiWuji said:


> Isn't null looking for some land and a house? Perfect opportunity.


Dear leader deserves better than to be surrounded by a bunch of coonasses


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## Mr E. Grifter (Apr 25, 2022)

Ralph is now trying to dab on people because he half owns half of a swamp, which is _ probably_ almost completely useless land.

Now sure, I'm no expert so maybe there are _ some_ commercial uses for the land - but this would likely require substantial capital upfront to exploit, and given the amount of swamp land available for development in the US I fail to see how the Ralphaswamp would fetch any sort of price worth noting.

Any uses would surely just amount of conservation work or for agriculture. You don't want to be building anything on that shit, there was a reason the Floria land boom ended with a crash...


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

GreeneCoDeputy said:


> Some topographical data, per Google Earth 3D view.
> View attachment 3215461
> 
> Pink area is average ground level or below -- there are some small spots below -1m but mostly just average low lying area.
> ...


This is the exact data that @Null wanted.


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## Piranha Pleb (Apr 25, 2022)

I want to go hunting on ralphs swamp. Also is anyone going to drive out and survey the area? Maybe plant some corn? (In FarmVille)


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## 3322 (Apr 25, 2022)

Ralph is going to sell all of this once he gets control of Evan's finances. Then he will spend all of the money on gambling and cocaine and it will be gone within 3 months (max).


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## BlueArmedDevil (Apr 25, 2022)

Guntwater Heights when? It's the perfect location to build a paramilitary training camp for the future savors of the white race.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

BlueArmedDevil said:


> Guntwater Heights when? It's the perfect location to build a paramilitary training camp for the future savors of the white race.


It's also great for a homosexual cat boy cult.


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## BlueArmedDevil (Apr 25, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> It's also great for a homosexual cat boy cult.


There's a difference?


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## MediocreMilt (Apr 25, 2022)

> I guess Howard Ralph is his grandfather.


@Sam Losco Looks like that's his uncle's name (and that his uncle is the primary taxpayer).

Read the tax doc under "Property Description", it refers to both Howard and Ronald Ralph, and identifies a Clyde Ralph as FR in parentheses (so probably father).

So we're looking at a parcel of land that was inherited 50-50 by Howard and Ronnie, then Ronnie's share was inherited by Ethan Ralph.

Although that could still be wrong. There's a lot of gibberish abbreviations on that form.


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## Procrastinhater (Apr 25, 2022)

Well shit, he could set himself up as a Shiner, that way he'd save money on Makers and have more for hookers and Xanax, and after that beating in Portugo it's not like he needs to get the piping right so it doesn't make him blind, bit of wood squint might even improve his vision.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

Procrastinhater said:


> Well shit, he could set himself up as a Shiner, that way he'd save money on Makers and have more for hookers and Xanax, and after that beating in Portugo it's not like he needs to get the piping right so it doesn't make him blind, bit of wood squint might even improve his vision.


He would fuck it up and then die.


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## malleusmaleficarum (Apr 25, 2022)

so gunt has a swamp now. will this result in an Onision situation or a Grover house situation? only time will tell.


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## MediocreMilt (Apr 25, 2022)

The swamp (and even Copenhagen) are so far out in the sticks that you can't even do StreetView


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## SevenEightNine (Apr 25, 2022)

Topo, there's some protection from flooding, and tree cover suggests nothing major for ~20 years.


Red flag is the Ralphaswamp, other pins are the neighbors.

Big house, land cleared, not producing anything.


Classic pick up trucks everywhere and large waste pile.  Not cultivated.


Large estate owned by a medical supply businessman.  Potentially a garden, but looks like something else. 


Large building and possibly some small cultivation.


Cleared section looks abandoned or unkept


Large RV or mobile home. Outbuildings, storage seacans, not cultivated


Very little grade on any of these properties, cultivation of anything would likely require both irrigation and drainage considerations, and looking at the surrounding area, maintaining some tree cover is necessary to prevent soil erosion.


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## AnIntrepidCrow (Apr 25, 2022)

All Ogres need a swamp.


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## Sam Losco (Apr 25, 2022)

MediocreMilt said:


> @Sam Losco Looks like that's his uncle's name (and that his uncle is the primary taxpayer).
> 
> Read the tax doc under "Property Description", it refers to both Howard and Ronald Ralph, and identifies a Clyde Ralph as FR in parentheses (so probably father).
> 
> ...


Yeah, at the time I was just guessing. I think you are right.

Corrections made.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

Stasi said:


> Right? This is utterly insane to me and no functioning human would do that, hell you could probably count on one hand the number of cows on this site that would email personal documents to strangers because they were made fun of on the internet so Ralph is in a truly exclusive club of utter idiots.
> 
> Is this new or has he been having email slap fights with ayylawgs for a while? My ralphalore is rusty.


I have to believe this is all because he exposed the Memphis Micro and the shame of it has broken his brain. 
Ralph just prove it’s more than 3 inches bro, it’s not that big a deal, you can get past this.


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## Obscura539 (Apr 25, 2022)

MirnaMinkoff said:


> Ralph couldn’t afford to take any time off to be a father, fuck he wouldn’t even cancel the Thrift Giant fiasco to spend the first five days of his daughters life with her. Ralph needs to be yelling and carnival barking for tips eight hours a day. He’s barely pulling in 100 viewers, if he disappeared for two weeks his small cadre of retards would have moved on to other shows, like wrestling recaps and AM radio.


This just made me ask if Ralph ever taken time to have a vacation without it being tied to the Kill Report?   When was his last multi day hiatus from the internet?


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## BlueArmedDevil (Apr 25, 2022)

Obscura539 said:


> When was his last multi day hiatus from the internet?


When he was recovering from getting his face smashed?


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> I have to believe this is all because he exposed the Memphis Micro and the shame of it has broken his brain.
> Ralph just prove it’s more than 3 inches bro, it’s not that big a deal, you can get past this.


Pull down your shorts and prove it to us that you don't have a thumbtack for a cock.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> It's also great for a homosexual cat boy cult.


There is historical precedent for a homo paramilitary training camp in Louisiana.


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## WutangLee (Apr 25, 2022)

Are there property taxes on this thing?


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## Sam Losco (Apr 25, 2022)

WutangLee said:


> Are there property taxes on this thing?


Of course, but it's swamp land in Louisiana, not a highrise in NYC.


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## Procrastinhater (Apr 25, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> He would fuck it up and then die.


Most likely. Stills have a habit of exploding if they're not set up properly.
He'd feel right at home if moved out there though, plenty of hicks like Ralph and Feral Hogs too, so he'd have family close.


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## Daily Affirmation (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Seriously, WTF is wrong with his thumb?   The top half of it is bending nearly 90 degrees.    Where are his bones?   Have they dissolved due to poor diet?  I couldn't do that if I tried.    Repulsive.
> 
> Also clip your fucking nails before you take a photo to "own" the haters, you braindead filthy alcholic.   The nails are so long they're nearly protruding off his thumb.
> 
> Ralph's body is an Eldrich Abomination.


Premature children often have deformed pinky fingers, so I assume the same is true for thumbs.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 25, 2022)

Procrastinhater said:


> Most likely. Stills have a habit of exploding if they're not set up properly.
> He'd feel right at home if moved out there though, plenty of hicks like Ralph and Feral Hogs too, so he'd have family close.


He would fuck up the process of making a still before he fucks up the alcohol.


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## Soup Enjoyer (Apr 25, 2022)

Sevenatenine said:


> View attachment 3215889
> Topo, there's some protection from flooding, and tree cover suggests nothing major for ~20 years.
> 
> View attachment 3215890
> ...


I don't know why would we even consider cultivation since Gunter would probably rather suck dicks than get a day of honest to God work like farming, unless it's for price speculations.

I'm also kinda sad with your post as there seems to be some neighbors around. I was imagining a future where gunt flees from debt collectors and alogs to the swamp and slowly creates one of those incestous hillbilly cannibal families from shitty horror movies


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## Daily Affirmation (Apr 25, 2022)

MvAgusta said:


> The Ralphaswamp? By this point we need to have a thread on the Ralph Dynasty. Howard Ralph, Ronnie Ralph, Sandra Ralph, Ralph’s uncle, Ralph’s mentally disabled brother, Ethan Ralph + his baby mommas Pantsu & Faith and of course the demon babies Alexander Vickers and Rozanna Sandra Ralph.


I want to know the truth about Run Ronnie Run(from responsibility)'s railyard trespassing charge in California. Did he really abandon Gunt and Sandy to be a rail riding hobo? With a bindle and everything?


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## AltisticRight (Apr 25, 2022)

All you a-logs just watch, Ralph is going to construct Jonestown 2.0, the Catboy Reich, led by Nick Fuentes. 

If the feds invade this righteous plot of soil, the catboys will sodomise themselves to death.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

I mean there’s a lot of parallels with the New Orleans homosexual and intelligence communities back then, eg David Ferrie and Clay Shaw, so it’s not outlandish to think that the feds still use homos to blackmail people and v/v get info, do setups, etc etc.


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## Harlan Wick (Apr 25, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> I mean there’s a lot of parallels with the New Orleans homosexual and intelligence communities back then, eg David Ferrie and Clay Shaw, so it’s not outlandish to think that the feds still use homos to blackmail people and v/v get info, do setups, etc etc.


True but I can't see the government intelligence establishment being so desperate for human assets to infiltrate autistic right grifters by using out man Gunt. That being said, if I'm wrong I owe you a drink.


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## Sam Losco (Apr 25, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> All you a-logs just watch, Ralph is going to construct Jonestown 2.0, the Catboy Reich, led by Nick Fuentes.
> 
> If the feds invade this righteous plot of soil, the catboys will sodomise themselves to death.


It is the perfect place for that Killstream Kompound he's talked about before,


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## SevenEightNine (Apr 25, 2022)

It's relatively close to the town of Copenhagen and there's at least one rich person in the direct vicinity (Mr. Medical Supply to the west).  It may be quite difficult to build outside strict land use rules.  The site already has a roadway through it, indicating the Parish kind of does what it wants.


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## Gettr Griftr (Apr 25, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Oh Lawdy, Ralphamale's got hisslef some fine Swampland near the Mighty Ouachita river!   Yee-haw!


Ten points to the first person who can correctly pronounce "Ouachita."


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

Harlan Wick said:


> True but I can't see the government intelligence establishment being so desperate for human assets to infiltrate autistic right grifters by using out man Gunt. That being said, if I'm wrong I owe you a drink.


I can run with this. 
Where was Ethan during his  Lost Years?  Why the discrepancy about his education?  What is the source of his income?  Where is it hidden?  Are the rumors about blackmail just rumors?  Are these streaming platforms just money laundering operations?  Why did Ralph switch his ideologies from lib to altright?  Is May his Marina?  Why are there apparently two Ralph’s in two places at the same time?  What about Sandra?  How did she earn 100k a year then lose her house?  Dothey both have doubles? Is he being set up to be a patsy?  
Sorry I got carried away with the Louisiana homo paramilitary fantasy. 
Anyways, has Ralph done any quality hollerin today?


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## Average Orc Conesseuir (Apr 25, 2022)

Will the Ralphamale meet his match against a real gator?
Will he fall foul of the Cajun voodoo practicioners?
Will the Ralpha Castle built on good ol' Louisiana soil crumble and fall under another freak hurricane?

Find out on the next episode of Swamp People.


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## Lazy Man (Apr 25, 2022)

When will Ralph try and become a weed farmer on his fantastic swamp?
Come to think of it he does have a Shrek body type, living in a swamp might suit him.


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## Simply Outplayed-HD (Apr 25, 2022)

So he inherited 50/50 ownership in a block of land in the middle of nowhere? I'm guessing that the uncle lives there because theres no way Ralph wouldn't have immediately wanted to sell it.


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## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 25, 2022)

Swampland can be badass if you manage it properly, set it up for duck hunting. This looks like someone farmed the good trees and replaced them with shitpine. I don’t know why anyone would want to buy it now. Maybe for some commercial use decades down the road.


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## Harlan Wick (Apr 25, 2022)

Average Orc Conesseuir said:


> Will the Ralphamale meet his match against a real gator?
> Will he fall foul of the Cajun voodoo practicioners?
> Will the Ralpha Castle built on good ol' Louisiana soil crumble and fall under another freak hurricane?
> 
> Find out on the next episode of Swamp People.


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## I'd abeeb bear (Apr 25, 2022)

Can't make fun of it, tbh.  I'd take that land, it's pretty decent.  Private with a lot of potential.  I don't care to research into it much, but the classification is for timberlands which might leave it with some weird rules that you wouldn't think of.  Might be a pain in the ass to make it a permanent residence legally, but hey, it's pretty neat.

Mosquito heaven though.


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## Xolanite (Apr 25, 2022)

Average Orc Conesseuir said:


> Will the Ralphamale meet his match against a real gator?
> Will he fall foul of the Cajun voodoo practicioners?
> Will the Ralpha Castle built on good ol' Louisiana soil crumble and fall under another freak hurricane?
> 
> Find out on the next episode of Swamp People.


Spoiler: none of that is in Northeast Louisiana, except for the hurricanes


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## AncientPhosphur (Apr 25, 2022)

That would be a great piece of land to go out camping and hunt for a weekend or so

Of course both those things are adverse to the gunt style of life which is posting on twitter and live-streaming so it’ll just stay there being useless. Like Ralph.


----------



## Braphamut (Apr 25, 2022)

Is this the same uncle that gave him the ring?  Think it might have been some sort of bribe or attempt to grease the tracks on the land?


----------



## Obscura539 (Apr 25, 2022)

Average Orc Conesseuir said:


> Will the Ralphamale meet his match against a real gator?
> Will he fall foul of the Cajun voodoo practicioners?
> Will the Ralpha Castle built on good ol' Louisiana soil crumble and fall under another freak hurricane?
> 
> Find out on the next episode of Swamp People.


If Ralph decided to do a wilderness survival type stream in his swamp I’d watch it.

Gunt VS. Wild

On TLC


----------



## SevenEightNine (Apr 25, 2022)

Gettr Griftr said:


> Ten points to the first person who can correctly pronounce "Ouachita."


Is it "Wah Cheetah"?

That's how I said it in my head.


----------



## Gettr Griftr (Apr 25, 2022)

Sevenatenine said:


> Is it "Wah Cheetah"?
> 
> That's how I said it in my head.


Very, very close. It's WAH-shi-TAH. You get eight points. Congratulations!


----------



## An automatic clown (Apr 25, 2022)

Obscura539 said:


> This just made me ask if Ralph ever taken time to have a vacation without it being tied to the Kill Report?   When was his last multi day hiatus from the internet?


I think he ties"vacations" to his dying Killstream so his former Jew money guy can expense it as a business expense.


----------



## MediocreMilt (Apr 25, 2022)

Simply Outplayed-HD said:


> So he inherited 50/50 ownership in a block of land in the middle of nowhere? I'm guessing that the uncle lives there because theres no way Ralph wouldn't have immediately wanted to sell it.


No. His address is in the first post (side note @Sam Losco maybe consider putting PRIVATE tags on that tax doc) and if you street view it looks like a nice house compared to Ronnie's Arkansas crack-shack.

He lives in Mississippi, and it looks like a long drive to Copenhagen, LA


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 25, 2022)

MediocreMilt said:


> No. His address is in the first post (side note @Sam Losco maybe consider putting PRIVATE tags on that tax doc) and if you street view it looks like a nice house compared to Ronnie's Arkansas crack-shack.
> 
> He lives in Mississippi, and it looks like a long drive to Copenhagen, LA


Null is the one that copied the post out to a new thread. I trust he would have done it if he wanted it so.


----------



## Freeman (Apr 25, 2022)




----------



## Some dude (Apr 25, 2022)

blacksmith tony said:


> Dear leader deserves better than to be surrounded by a bunch of coonasses


Plus where would the constant weewoo's come from? Nearest PD is probably more than half an hour away.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 25, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> It is the perfect place for that Killstream Kompound he's talked about before,


Katboy Killstream Koo Kux Klan Koke Kope Kompound.


----------



## Christorian X (Apr 25, 2022)

So a few things:

Firstly, here is the assessment for the land. According to them its worth under $3500.





Next up, because it's rated for Timberland, if he wanted to sell off the timber, it runs about 3k an acre, thats not including the cost to actually cut it down and ship it. So for the 70ishk max he's looking at maybe 25k after negotiating with a logging company. 

Here's the report:





I'm including the entire report as an attachment. 

Finally, if any of this land is under sea level or near water features, or depending on how its zoned, such as timberland, it most likely can't be subdivided much if at all. Again, based on zoning, what type of buildings could be limited as well. This land is worth about as much as the ring, lol.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 26, 2022)

Christorian X said:


> So a few things:
> 
> Firstly, here is the assessment for the land. According to them its worth under $3500.
> 
> ...


Ralph knows where to find the best a-logging company.


----------



## Simply Outplayed-HD (Apr 26, 2022)

Say he sells his share of the land, how much of that money does Faith get to take?


----------



## Weeb Slinger (Apr 26, 2022)

AnIntrepidCrow said:


> All Ogres need a swamp.


It's the edgy [current year] Shrek prequel no one asked for. Where, after fucking and impregnating the donkey, and losing all his money in Vegas, he forsakes civilisation for his "shart patch."


----------



## Braphamut (Apr 26, 2022)

Obscura539 said:


> If Ralph decided to do a wilderness survival type stream in his swamp I’d watch it.
> 
> Gunt VS. Wild
> 
> On TLC



Ha!  I imagine it would go about as well as that WingsOfRedemption PKA camping trip.  

Boast:  "We're gonna shoot gator and buck and smoke weed with Bigfoot.  Destiny vs E. Michael Jones "  
Reality:  TTS goes off while he's provoking patrons at a country gas station, gets mugged by the Sneeds and loses his ring.


----------



## ConSluttant (Apr 26, 2022)

Fannyscum said:


> View attachment 3217394
> Tweet | Archive


Does Ralph understand how "half interest" works? It doesn't mean the acreage amount goes up if you get 100
% interest. Goddamn he is a dumbfuck.


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 26, 2022)

Christorian X said:


> So a few things:
> 
> Firstly, here is the assessment for the land. According to them its worth under $3500.
> 
> ...


Timber Class III means it's lower value Timberland capable of producing less than 85 cubic feet of timber per acre per annum. 


			https://www.laforestry.com/_files/ugd/b18d24_1c9e5385d1f34e51b98a242f8e8fb27a.pdf
		

Class IV would mean it's actual swampland.


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 26, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> Timber Class III means it's lower value Timberland capable of producing less than 85 cubic feet of timber per acre per annum.
> 
> 
> https://www.laforestry.com/_files/ugd/b18d24_1c9e5385d1f34e51b98a242f8e8fb27a.pdf
> ...


You can tell by the satellite photo that any valuable timber was cut ages ago and replanted with shit pine.  Probably that’s how Clyde got spending cash for that pimp pinkie ring. The land is more a burden than an asset, which could work in Ralph’s favor for income tax purposes if he actually paid any.  I’d be insulted if my relatives left me that crap.


----------



## Hüftpriester (Apr 26, 2022)

Christorian X said:


> Firstly, here is the assessment for the land. According to them its worth under $3500.


LOL, I had no idea land anywhere in the US was that cheap. 

Congrats Ralph, you have a $100 gumball machine ring and 26 acres of land that no one wants worth less than a used honda. What a baller.


----------



## Naidyonov (Apr 26, 2022)

Little pig, little pig.


----------



## Christorian X (Apr 26, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> Timber Class III means it's lower value Timberland capable of producing less than 85 cubic feet of timber per acre per annum.
> 
> 
> https://www.laforestry.com/_files/ugd/b18d24_1c9e5385d1f34e51b98a242f8e8fb27a.pdf
> ...


Thats what I thought but I didn't have the working knowledge to be sure. So essentially it was a parcel no one wanted and some redneck either had a retarded scheme or just wanted to tell people he had 25 acres somewhere to look hood rich.


----------



## State Champ (Apr 26, 2022)

In November 2025 the FBI surrounds a lone gunman fortified in his Camp Copenragin' compound. As the loudspeakers blast out the last chance to surrender peacefully, a solitary voice echoes out through the trees... "IT'S NAWT TRUUUUU!!!!"


----------



## Sam Losco (Apr 26, 2022)

Hüftpriester said:


> LOL, I had no idea land anywhere in the US was that cheap.
> 
> Congrats Ralph, you have a $100 gumball machine ring and 26 acres of land that no one wants worth less than a used honda. What a baller.


There isn't. What the government says it's worth for tax purposes is almost always lower than what you'd get by selling it. 
Unless it's toxic waste dump land.


----------



## He Who Points And Laughs (Apr 26, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> There isn't. What the government says it's worth for tax purposes is almost always lower than what you'd get by selling it.
> Unless it's toxic waste dump land.


Except on Oahu.


----------



## BigThaiGreenCurry (Apr 26, 2022)

Imagine being so proud of owning land that you both don't live on, and don't make money from. 

He's at the same level as those dweebs who buy part of the moon. At least they probably know it's pointless at that stage.


----------



## Harlan Wick (Apr 26, 2022)

BigThaiGreenCurry said:


> Imagine being so proud of owning land that you both don't live on, and don't make money from.


It's another thing Gunt can use as a means of "owning the haters".


----------



## Bland Crumbs (Apr 26, 2022)

Wine em Dine em 69 em said:


> You can tell by the satellite photo that any valuable timber was cut ages ago and replanted with shit pine.  Probably that’s how Clyde got spending cash for that pimp pinkie ring. The land is more a burden than an asset, which could work in Ralph’s favor for income tax purposes if he actually paid any.  I’d be insulted if my relatives left me that crap.


Meh you can always camp on it or something. Look at me trying to fill that glass halfway!


ConSluttant said:


> Does Ralph understand how "half interest" works? It doesn't mean the acreage amount goes up if you get 100
> % interest. Goddamn he is a dumbfuck.


It is the most hilarious part of this to me. He does not understand that there is no line down the middle where his half is...it is unreal how fucking stupid he is.


----------



## Lord of the Incels (Apr 26, 2022)

god damn gaytor ayy lawgin' me


----------



## Blue Miaplacidus (Apr 26, 2022)

BigThaiGreenCurry said:


> Imagine being so proud of owning land that you both don't live on, and don't make money from.
> 
> He's at the same level as those dweebs who buy part of the moon. At least they probably know it's pointless at that stage.


He will never be able to afford the cost to actually develop on that land. Never. So it will either get sold to cover a bet on Honduran Hopscotch or when he dies in the near future get passed to one of his future troon children.


----------



## BigThaiGreenCurry (Apr 26, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> He will never be able to afford the cost to actually develop on that land. Never. So it will either get sold to cover a bet on Honduran Hopscotch or when he dies in the near future get passed to one of his future troon children.


But then why brag about it? I know, hes a wigger piece of shit but does he honestly think that people are impressed?

Owning a shithole block of land would take 90% of kiwifarm's posters ~5 days to organise. The hardest part is probably convincing your partner to buy it.


----------



## Blue Miaplacidus (Apr 26, 2022)

BigThaiGreenCurry said:


> But then why brag about it? I know, hes a wigger piece of shit but does he honestly think that people are impressed?
> 
> Owning a shithole block of land would take 90% of kiwifarm's posters ~5 days to organise. The hardest part is probably convincing your partner to buy it.


Because he's a wigger. I mean legitimately. He's a retarded low IQ wigger. The same man who had to settle for a predatory loan to get a nissan and has to use digibro's ex girlfriend's credit card because he's poor white trash. It's desperation to feel not like a loser, the loser he tries to drink and drug away every day when he wakes up. He's too stupid to see it for what it is.


----------



## State Champ (Apr 26, 2022)

BigThaiGreenCurry said:


> But then why brag about it? I know, hes a wigger


Yeah, that's it. That's the whole reason. He's a low IQ wigger, that's why.


----------



## BigThaiGreenCurry (Apr 26, 2022)

Blue Miaplacidus said:


> Because he's a wigger. I mean legitimately. He's a retarded low IQ wigger. The same man who had to settle for a predatory loan to get a nissan and has to use digibro's ex girlfriend's credit card because he's poor white trash. It's desperation to feel not like a loser, the loser he tries to drink and drug away every day when he wakes up. He's too stupid to see it for what it is.





State Champ said:


> Yeah, that's it. That's the whole reason. He's a low IQ wigger, that's why.


Ye thats true, I guess i underestimateded the wigger mindset.


----------



## Wine em Dine em 69 em (Apr 26, 2022)

I guess it impresses the two dozen or so diehard fans that are left?  Sure Ralph, you’re part of the Landed Gentry. Now pay your half of the $600 annual taxes.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 26, 2022)

Earth 2.0 tiles are worth more than the Ralphaswamp.


----------



## Lincoln A-log (Apr 26, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> Earth 2.0 tiles are worth more than the Ralphaswamp.


Hahaha that is a fantastic reference


----------



## Christorian X (Apr 28, 2022)

Ralph should put up his land and ring as wager against Warski on the boxing match. Imagine him losing his only family land, lol.


----------



## Rei is shit (Apr 28, 2022)

He is bragging about tree harvesting every 10-20 years. What is the going rate for swamp pine?


----------



## Sammich (Apr 28, 2022)

Rei is shit said:


> He is bragging about tree harvesting every 10-20 years. What is the going rate for swamp pine?


tism response here, my dad had 100 acres of mixed timber and he got about 50k, but they had to build a road that could support the trucks, and that was the real goal for him.


----------



## SevenEightNine (Apr 28, 2022)

Sammich said:


> tism response here, my dad had 100 acres of mixed timber and he got about 50k, but they had to build a road that could support the trucks, and that was the real goal for him.


One notable feature of this land is the road.  Wildlands without road access are nightmares. A huge expense is unnecessary since there's a permanent road there.


----------



## Christorian X (Apr 28, 2022)

Sammich said:


> tism response here, my dad had 100 acres of mixed timber and he got about 50k, but they had to build a road that could support the trucks, and that was the real goal for him.


A thing to consider is the grade. Ralph's is rated as the second to lowest tier. Essentially saying there isn't a lot of viable wood per acre in comparison to other acres. After paying a logging company to do the work and sell it, Ralph will make 10-20k on 26 acres. So somewhere below $500 to $1000 an acre.

Compare that to the median acreage (not including logging worth) of LA land sitting at around $3914 per acre. (See it here)

So lets do the math. 

26 acres at median price with no logging: $104k
vs.
Ralph's 26 acres logged plus assed land value = > $25k

Fucking lol. Ralph inherited the equivalent of PawPaws ring in land.


----------



## The Big Dream (Apr 28, 2022)

I'm sure Ralph will think it's an own to make 20-25k, but the reality is these are the fading remnants of his family's legacy. Once the tacky ring and Shrek's swamp are pawned off, that's it, America will be as if the Ralphs had never set their horrible pig trotters upon it. And honestly, it'll be better off.


----------



## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 28, 2022)

The Big Dream said:


> I'm sure Ralph will think it's an own to make 20-25k, but the reality is these are the fading remnants of his family's legacy. Once the tacky ring and Shrek's swamp are pawned off, that's it, America will be as if the Ralphs had never set their horrible pig trotters upon it. And honestly, it'll be better off.


Well, his branch of the family.


----------



## The Big Dream (Apr 28, 2022)

REGENDarySumanai said:


> Well, his branch of the family.


Is he going to have a Tess of d'Urbervilles moment and beg to distant, well-off branches of his family?

(Ralph, if you're reading: that's a book reference, you wouldn't understand)


----------



## REGENDarySumanai (Apr 28, 2022)

The Big Dream said:


> Is he going to have a Tess of d'Urbervilles moment and beg to distant, well-off branches of his family?
> 
> (Ralph, if you're reading: that's a book reference, you wouldn't understand)


That's if he has a wealthy branch of the family and said branch is not aware of him.


----------



## AltisticRight (Apr 29, 2022)

Ralph could put his natural instincts to use, the swampland might be full of truffles.


----------



## SNEED.EXE (Apr 30, 2022)

Whatever Ralph builds on the swamp, it can only end one way:




Your browser is not able to display this video.


----------



## A Rastafarian Skeleton (Apr 30, 2022)

Can corn grow in a swamp? I will sprinkle seeds by helicopter if it's possible.


----------



## Christorian X (May 1, 2022)

A Rastafarian Skeleton said:


> Can corn grow in a swamp? I will sprinkle seeds by helicopter if it's possible.





			https://www.heritage.org/energy-economics/commentary/corn-grows-all-too-well-the-swamp
		


Apparently it does quite well.


----------



## OldGuy (May 2, 2022)

So Ralph is the Boss Hog of that bog?


----------



## Sinpie (May 4, 2022)

I'm Just A Worm said:


> Seriously, WTF is wrong with his thumb?   The top half of it is bending nearly 90 degrees.    Where are his bones?   Have they dissolved due to poor diet?  I couldn't do that if I tried.    Repulsive.


Is it not normal for white people to be able to bend their thumbs like that? Me and other Asians I know can bend our fingers much more than that.


----------



## Sam Losco (May 4, 2022)

Sinpie said:


> Is it not normal for white people to be able to bend their thumbs like that? Me and other Asians I know can bend our fingers much more than that.


I think it's a double-jointed thing.


----------



## Eggg (May 4, 2022)

This might be a dumb question. But why would Ralph's pawpaw buy some swamp land in the middle of nowhere? Any theories?


----------



## Lorne Armstrong (May 4, 2022)

Eggg said:


> This might be a dumb question. But why would Ralph's pawpaw buy some swamp land in the middle of nowhere? Any theories?


Most likely an inheritance from his daddeh and grandaddeh before him, PawPaw was born and raised in Louisianastan.


----------



## Angel Dust (May 5, 2022)

So realistically, what could he actually DO with the swamp?


----------



## Christorian X (May 5, 2022)

Angel Dust said:


> So realistically, what could he actually DO with the swamp?


Realistically he can pay a logging company to come in and cut and replant every 15 - 20 years. His Timberclass is rated at about 3k and acre for wood sale. After paying the loggers for cutting and replanting, he'll turn 15k - 20k profit after a season of successful cutting.


----------



## Destro's Last Stand (May 5, 2022)

The very first thing I thought of when it came out that Ralph owned swampland


----------



## ItCouldBeWorse (May 24, 2022)

Destro's Last Stand said:


> The very first thing I thought of when it came out that Ralph owned swampland


Holy fucking shit, he even looks, sounds and behaves like him. Truly the most accurate adaptation of the gunt mythos.


----------



## AltisticRight (May 24, 2022)

Angel Dust said:


> So realistically, what could he actually DO with the swamp?


He can build his own version of Jonestown with Nick Fuentes. An AF Catboy compound.


----------



## NaggotFigger (May 24, 2022)

Destro's Last Stand said:


> The very first thing I thought of when it came out that Ralph owned swampland


Deadly accurate depiction, so far. Matches with how he owns the swamp and how he acts in both reality and on the internet.
Edit: typo.


----------



## Grotesque Bushes (May 24, 2022)

NaggotFigger said:


> Deadly accurate depiction, so far. Matches with how he owns the swamp and how he acts in both reality and on the internet.
> Edit: typo.


The only difference is that Ralph's cannon is demonstrably smaller


----------



## Lobster Cult High Priest (May 24, 2022)

Who wants to bet that Dingo is squatting in the Ralphaswamp as Ralph’s very first Serf?


----------



## Symalsa (Jun 23, 2022)

*Is this one of these land scams that were popular in the 60's and 70's?*

My grandfather was sold on a small lot, along with a bunch of other people. Basically one company bought a giant plot, got the rights to divide it up, and sold each piece for super cheap. I know a little bit about this because the property became mine and I just refused to pay the back taxes (it was only like $700 after decades, so that should indicate how much it was worth). It was especially popular in areas that were difficult to develop and likely had no plans to be developed.

No running water, no electricity, sewage, etc. But theyre always advertised as "ready to build on" land. Its not much different to how a lot of Caribbean property is sold today. 

> I can have waterfront property on a tropical island for $20,000!

But a lot of boomers fell for these scams. They (or their kids or grandkids) still own them to this day. No neighborhoods or houses were ever built on these properties (in my case) by anyone. The selling point was that "many people have bought in, and neighborhoods will be built in no time". Even when I called them to basically abandon it/give it back, they told me the same thing. And the local tax offices wont even try to come after you for back taxes because its easier to let it sit and hope you pay one day. It was a chore just trying to tell them I was going to abandon it.


----------



## MirnaMinkoff (Jun 23, 2022)

Symalsa said:


> *Is this one of these land scams that were popular in the 60's and 70's?*
> 
> My grandfather was sold on a small lot, along with a bunch of other people. Basically one company bought a giant plot, got the rights to divide it up, and sold each piece for super cheap. I know a little bit about this because the property became mine and I just refused to pay the back taxes (it was only like $700 after decades, so that should indicate how much it was worth). It was especially popular in areas that were difficult to develop and likely had no plans to be developed.
> 
> ...


This fits perfectly as to why pawpaw owned some useless, worthless land that was nowhere near his home. 

Boomers, and the previous depression era gen, in the south were very susceptible to these scams because owning land “free and clear” loomed large in in their mind since most spent decades struggling to pay mortgages so this was their chance to own (worthless) land the bank couldn’t take.


----------



## Symalsa (Jun 23, 2022)

MirnaMinkoff said:


> This fits perfectly as to why pawpaw owned some useless, worthless land that was nowhere near his home.
> 
> Boomers, and the previous depression era gen, in the south were very susceptible to these scams because owning land “free and clear” loomed large in in their mind since most spent decades struggling to pay mortgages so this was their chance to own (worthless) land the bank couldn’t take.


Also, the tail end of bomb shelters of the 1950's was coming to an end. Having a piece of land in the middle of nowhere was also a draw for 

*>when the god damn Ruskies nuke us junior youre gonna be glad your daddy and uncle had the foresight to buy this and not just putting the money in the gawd dammed bank and letting it gain compound interest. We aint never been suckas*

Im starting to get into the Ralph stuff more and more. Why dont we buy the land off of him, put a decent double-wide on the property, and let him spend 30 non-consecutive days a year there for free? Basically he can flee to the property when being chased by a-logs but he has to stream when hes there. So buy his land, and turn it into a free time share for Ralph. Would we have people camping out waiting to encounter him? Maybe hes not back for months. Maybe he shows up the next day


----------



## MirnaMinkoff (Jun 23, 2022)

Symalsa said:


> Also, the tail end of bomb shelters of the 1950's was coming to an end. Having a piece of land in the middle of nowhere was also a draw for
> 
> *>when the god damn Ruskies nuke us junior youre gonna be glad your daddy and uncle had the foresight to buy this and not just putting the money in the gawd dammed bank and letting it gain compound interest. We aint never been suckas*
> 
> Im starting to get into the Ralph stuff more and more. Why dont we buy the land off of him, put a decent double-wide on the property, and let him spend 30 non-consecutive days a year there for free? Basically he can flee to the property when being chased by a-logs but he has to stream when hes there. So buy his land, and turn it into a free time share for Ralph. Would we have people camping out waiting to encounter him? Maybe hes not back for months. Maybe he shows up the next day


Flee? He’d drive straight there and never leave and do the obese man  jiggle celebration sit-dance.


----------



## Pill Cosby (Jun 23, 2022)

We all know Ronnie Ralph was Zodiac Killer; has anyone checked this area for dead hookers?


----------



## Symalsa (Jun 23, 2022)

MirnaMinkoff said:


> Flee? He’d drive straight there and never leave and do the obese man  jiggle celebration sit-dance.


Thats why we reduce it to 30 days and say it doesnt have to be consecutive. Heres how I see the agreement

*I, Ethan Oliver Ralph, agree to utilize the Kiwi Farms Designated Crack Shack and Sex Crimes Containment Unit (KFDCSSCCU) for at least 30 days per annum at no cost to myself, my family, or my guests. I understand that these visits do not have to consist of consecutive days. I also agree that during the waking hours of my visit I must conduct at least one (1) live stream from the property for each 24hrs spent enjoying the KFDCSSCCU, and no live stream can be less than 60 mins. Any stream less than 60 mins will be considered null and void. Every successful 60 minutes of streaming will credit the Ralphamale with one full "day" (24 hours) towards fulfilling the obligation of this contract. Each additional 60 mins of live, on air broadcasting from the location will count/credit the Ralphamale with another full day of his obligation. Each additional credited day over the required 30 will count towards credit for staying at the KFDSSCCU without required streaming per this contract*

Heres how Im picturing it. Ralph fires up a stream from the property, a-logs immediately head there. Ralph can stream for 60 mins and cut out, and he gets credit for one of his 30 days. And A-logs can do it all over again. I actually think this is decent idea even for Ralph. If hes smart, he'll drive his RV up to the Kiwi Farms Double Wide, stay over night, hang around the next day, and do a one hour stream and flee. He then gets credit for 1 full day. So he can risk it and credit himself 3 days for doing a 3 hour stream, but a-logs might be coming through the swamp. However, if he goes over his requirement, he can earn free vacation time. *Its like The Running Man or Hunger Games for alcoholic sex offenders*

I'll try to get Rekieta to write it up so its kosher.


----------



## Info Neutral Agency (Jun 26, 2022)

I'm just wondering when someone from the Farms or some random Aylog is going to do some "surveying" of the property with video footage and photos of it. It'd be funny but illegal because trespass on someone's property could get you shot in Louisiana.


----------



## Sam Losco (Jun 26, 2022)

|I.nfo_N.eutral_A.gency| said:


> I'm just wondering when someone from the Farms or some random Aylog is going to do some "surveying" of the property with video footage and photos of it. It'd be funny but illegal because trespass on someone's property could get you shot in Louisiana.


It's empty woodland in the middle of empty woodland. What would be the point?


----------



## Info Neutral Agency (Jun 26, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> It's empty woodland in the middle of empty woodland. What would be the point?


Just to piss off Ralph and see him hollerin legal threats against everybody he deems a threat to his ego.


----------



## ddlloo (Jun 26, 2022)

Sam Losco said:


> It's empty woodland in the middle of empty woodland. What would be the point?


So that we could design a compound for him, duh. Everyone loves a good art challenge. Does the corn field go to the left or the right of the stables? Just how ingenuitive can pig troughs be? How many shrines to Daddy Jim can we fit in the bog?


----------



## fickdaggot (Jun 26, 2022)

Pill Cosby said:


> We all know Ronnie Ralph was Zodiac Killer; has anyone checked this area for dead hookers?


I don't know, everyone in the Ralph family is incredibly too stupid to be a serial killer of that kind of magnitude.   Hell they couldn't keep the information about a couple of dead dogs in the oven and hung from a chair from spreading around.


----------



## AltisticRight (Jun 26, 2022)

|I.nfo_N.eutral_A.gency| said:


> Just to piss off Ralph and see him hollerin legal threats against everybody he deems a threat to his ego.


Just fly a drone over and sow the marsh with corn.


----------



## Info Neutral Agency (Jun 26, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> Just fly a drone over and sow the marsh with corn.


If only CRP wasn't sniffing his own farts hard and made a documentary about the Ralph family and interviewed locals who have dealt with them, I would definitely watch it. Throw Louis Theroux in, then we have some prime-time kino. Probably more acceptable than Nick's "Most Closeted Man in America" doc for a movie festival submission.


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## AltisticRight (Sep 14, 2022)

Lol


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## Delicious Diversity (Sep 15, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 3692604
> Lol


Lol, it's like ghostbusters or one of those ghost/alien/bigfoot hunting reality TV shows, only way more autistic.

I bet they didn't even go to the Ralphaswamp, 100% this is gayfabe and they just went to some Canadian forest pretending it's Ralph's land to troll him.

And the funny thing is Ralph will believe it, because he has never been to his land and has no fucking idea what it actually looks like down there.


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## Maude Snew (Sep 16, 2022)

Delicious Diversity said:


> Lol, it's like ghostbusters or one of those ghost/alien/bigfoot hunting reality TV shows, only way more autistic.
> 
> I bet they didn't even go to the Ralphaswamp, 100% this is gayfabe and they just went to some Canadian forest pretending it's Ralph's land to troll him.
> 
> And the funny thing is Ralph will believe it, because he has never been to his land and has no fucking idea what it actually looks like down there.


You were beaten to it.

Great stuff though, haven't grown tired of reposting that yet.


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## Info Neutral Agency (Sep 30, 2022)

AltisticRight said:


> View attachment 3692604
> Lol


As per usual, Kino Casino steals my ideas. It was first with exposing Ralph as a Yankee and now with the investigation of the Bog Hog. I demanded some money, you Canadian Leaves.


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