# what were your secret santa gifts?



## Deadwaste (Dec 19, 2017)

y'know, if you received them already


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## Coconut Gun (Dec 19, 2017)

Who the fuck opens gifts before Christmas?


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## Deadwaste (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconut Gun said:


> Who the fuck opens gifts before Christmas?


everyone


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## Schwachkopf (Dec 19, 2017)

Sadly, none.


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## admiral (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconut Gun said:


> Who the fuck opens gifts before Christmas?


Amberlynn


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## MG 620 (Dec 19, 2017)

Coconut Gun said:


> Who the fuck opens gifts before Christmas?



Jews?


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## Flustercuck (Dec 19, 2017)

Deadwaste said:


> everyone


that's not very christmasy


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## Jaded Optimist (Dec 21, 2017)

Fuck all ya'll, I got @jenffer a jay as my secret santa and she is the best!


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## jenffer a jay (Dec 21, 2017)

so where mine


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## Jaded Optimist (Dec 21, 2017)

jenffer a jay said:


> so where mine


Well I wasn't paired with you, so I'm not making your gift.  If I was though I'd feel pretty inadequate.

Thanks so much Jennfer!  Merry Christmas.


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## drtoboggan (Dec 21, 2017)

A vibrator that plays Oh Come All Ye Faithful.


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## HY 140 (Dec 21, 2017)

Nothing like usual so far


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## jenffer a jay (Dec 21, 2017)

A Name But Backwards said:


> Well I wasn't paired with you, so I'm not making your gift.  If I was though I'd feel pretty inadequate.
> 
> Thanks so much Jennfer!  Merry Christmas.


i know i was to who got my name


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## diana (Dec 22, 2017)

Coconut Gun said:


> Who the fuck opens gifts before Christmas?


People who are impatient.
like me...


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## UncleFezziesPantsPuppet (Dec 22, 2017)

An ass beating by a naked man on PCP.


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## DatBepisTho (Dec 22, 2017)

I haven't gotten mine yet, but there's two days left.

I am excite, tho!


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## scared sheep (Dec 22, 2017)

A shirtless sheep Compa. Thank you to whoever made it, it’s really cute tbh <3
Edit: Ah, screw it, I have to share


Spoiler: A lil lewd


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Dec 22, 2017)

jenffer a jay said:


> so where mine


I was also given you so here's mine.


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## jenffer a jay (Dec 22, 2017)

thank you miss j dose look nice too


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## Cheerlead-in-Chief (Dec 22, 2017)

jenffer a jay said:


> thank you miss j dose look nice too


Glad you liked it.


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## TheMockTurtle (Dec 22, 2017)

lol my gift to LofaSofa



Spoiler: spoiler for size bc i'm a faggot


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## Kiwi Jeff (Dec 23, 2017)

@autista wrote this for me.


Spoiler



'Twas the night before CWCmas, when here on the Farms
Not an autist was stirring, nor was any computer on;
The gym socks were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a lolcow soon would be there;

The Kiwis were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Winner ratings danced in their heads;
And the mods in their 'kerchiefs, and Null in his cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When then the computers sputtered to life
I sprang from the bed to see exactly why.
Away to my desk I ran like the wind,
And opened my browser and logged right in.

The Featured Thread at the top startled me so
And gave me shock as I said “oh no”
When, who to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the cow in question himself, a subject so “queer,”

With clothes from his sister’s closet and hair in bad need of styling,
I knew in a moment it must be a Rat King
More rapid than eagles his orbiters they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Brianna! now, Terra! now, Laurelai and Zinnia!
On, Sophia! on Izzy! on, Sarah and Nora!
To plague the thread! to bring down Kiwi Farms!
Now post away! post away! post away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So in that very thread, they posted to hell
Plaguing it all with their cancer, and autism as well

And then, in a twinkling, I saw on the screen
A long post from Phil himself, the queen
As I prepared to rate it ‘dumb’ or perhaps ‘autistic’
Another new post, but this time from Chris!

Christian Weston Chandler, the tomgirl you see 
The father of Sonichu and frequent trollee;
The raison d’être for our forum, the true origin of the Farms
Mr. CWC was here, addressing us all

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the oil of his skin shone as bright as the snow;

The color of his hair was like that of seaweed
And he wore women’s clothes from Goodwill that didn’t fit him clearly
He had a acne-scarred face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

His post was different from all the rest in the thread
In that instead of text, it was a video he had made
As I saw him so clearly, hearing his voice when he’d spoken
I knew then that now, all the Kiwis would be awoken 

YOU DANG DIRTY KIWI FARMERS, he said. YOU THINK I DIDNT KNOW BUT I KNEW
YOU CONCERN YOURSELVES WITH NEITHER FARMING NOR NEW ZEALAND DO YOU
BY THE POWER OF THE CHAOTIC COMBO MYSELF I WILL AVENGE
AND ON YOU ALL I SHALL INACT MY REVENGE

And with that the video cut out, and all that was with us
Was a black screen and letters forming in Papayrus
But then heard him exclaim, now completely out of sight
HAPPY CWCMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A BAD NIGHT!


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## Gordon Cole (Dec 23, 2017)

A gigantic shout out to @emspex for this.



Spoiler: I want this framed so badly.


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## AJ 447 (Dec 23, 2017)

Sexy Times Hitler said:


> A gigantic shout out to @emspex for this.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


omg if you ever did get this framed i would redo it so swamp thing is cut out better


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## DatBepisTho (Dec 23, 2017)

Spoiler: OPL Pin-Up, better than you think


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## ES 148 (Dec 23, 2017)

The tale of my people


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## drain (Dec 23, 2017)

I GOT ME SOME ALIENS MAN 






from @Leapin_Lizards_98


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## Smarmy (Dec 23, 2017)

@Deathfromabove bestowed unto me a truly incredible gift that shall sit somewhere on my laptop for years to come.


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## GingerDixie (Dec 24, 2017)

Was gonna wait until Christmas Day to post it but screw it, I like it too much. This was from @Smarmy, who killed two birds with one stone and was able to fit twice the trickster in one picture. Many thanks to you, and I can finally get rid of my pirated Google Images avatar.


Spoiler: Gengar with a traditional tengu mask


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## Kiwi Jeff (Dec 24, 2017)

DatBepisTho said:


> Spoiler: OPL Pin-Up, better than you think





DrainRedRain said:


> I GOT ME SOME ALIENS MAN
> 
> 
> 
> ...





GingerDixie said:


> Was gonna wait until Christmas Day to post it but screw it, I like it too much. This was from @Smarmy, who killed two birds with one stone and was able to fit twice the trickster in one picture. Many thanks to you, and I can finally get rid of my pirated Google Images avatar.
> 
> 
> Spoiler: Gengar with a traditional tengu mask


Is it just me, or are all of these images broken?


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## LagoonaBlue (Dec 24, 2017)

I haven't got mine yet.


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## drain (Dec 24, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Is it just me, or are all of these images broken?



I can see them! 
testing again


Spoiler


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## DatBepisTho (Dec 24, 2017)

Kiwi Jeff said:


> Is it just me, or are all of these images broken?


Sorry about that,try again?

For some reason it's visible to me.


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## Pepito The Cat (Dec 24, 2017)

Man, you are all impatient af. Sneazel has mine, guess he'll deliver it tonight? Dunno.


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## WW 635 (Dec 24, 2017)

How do people know who gifted them? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of Santa bring secret?


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## drain (Dec 24, 2017)

Cricket said:


> How do people know who gifted them? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of Santa bring secret?



I only knew who gifted me after the user gave me my gift via PM
Before it, I had no clue who had picked me for the secret santa


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## MysteriousStranger (Dec 24, 2017)

Santa's name is going to be on the message you get. No other way to do it. (Which is fine - you gotta know who to thank).

I present - Gin Kitty! Thank  you, @Melkor !


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## Melkor (Dec 24, 2017)

Santa gave me a nice picture of a muscular cat holding a dong. It's fantastic. Thanks @DatBepisTho !


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## ISO'os (Dec 24, 2017)

I got this gorgeous picture of a girl holding a bind flowers, thank you to who ever made this <3 I love it


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## Reynard (Dec 24, 2017)

Thanks to @Dicaprio Delorean for the silly image.  I'll have to use it as an icon one of these days.


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## diana (Dec 24, 2017)

MysteriousStranger said:


> Santa's name is going to be on the message you get. No other way to do it. (Which is fine - you gotta know who to thank).





Cricket said:


> How do people know who gifted them? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of Santa bring secret?





DrainRedRain said:


> I only knew who gifted me after the user gave me my gift via PM
> Before it, I had no clue who had picked me for the secret santa


I sent mine personally because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, but then again I probly would have asked to send mine myself since I had some sketches to show along with it.


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## r4ndom (Dec 24, 2017)

i made a song for this shit but some bad stuff happened in real life so i forgot to sign up.


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## diana (Dec 24, 2017)

I made this for my person:


Spoiler: tiddy











I'll give you a hint who it is: they like blowfish and to draw...


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## DrJonesHat (Dec 24, 2017)

I thank @Reynard for my new avatar.


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## liliput (Dec 24, 2017)

@A Name But Backwards gave me a gruff Big Boss Saturn:


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## NG 070 (Dec 24, 2017)

I have no clue who did mine, but whoever did it?

I love you.






ETA: Here's what I did for my person. I have no clue if I was supposed to send it to them myself or have someone else do it on my behalf. Everything was vague, but given the huge effort to run this, it's no big deal to me.



Spoiler


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## Deadwaste (Dec 24, 2017)

i didnt get my secret santa gift...


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## Leapin_Lizards_98 (Dec 24, 2017)

Santa Sneasel just delivered my Christmas gift. Big ups to @MerriedxReldnahc  for this! I really like it. Spoiler'd just cuz it's a big image.


Spoiler


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## _blank_ (Dec 24, 2017)

I turned mine in to the proper authorities last night. Santa Sneasel don't fail me now...

Also, thanks to my Secret Santa - mine is a thing of beauty!






Edit: Fixed link. And the villagers danced and rejoiced.


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## Pepito The Cat (Dec 24, 2017)

Got mine just now:






Thank you @Scratch This Nut!

Edit: Changed the link to an external one. DO NOT USE THE LINK IN YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATION. That's for your eyes only.


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## Deadwaste (Dec 24, 2017)

Pepito said:


> Got mine just now:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





_blank_ said:


> I turned mine in to the proper authorities last night. Santa Sneasel don't fail me now...
> 
> Also, thanks to my Secret Santa - mine is a thing of beauty!


cant see your images


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## Pepito The Cat (Dec 24, 2017)

Deadwaste said:


> cant see your images


I can see it just fine... Oh wait, yeah, I know why. Lemme fix it.

Edit: Fix'd!


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## Magnum Dong (Dec 24, 2017)

This is what I made for my person, it's extra and stupid but I like it:



Spoiler: big image


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## Pepito The Cat (Dec 24, 2017)

Magnum Dong said:


> This is what I made for my person, it's extra and stupid but I like it:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



A E S T H E T I C
A F


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## Smiling Drought (Dec 24, 2017)

I love my gift so much, I'm making it my profile pic, thank you for making my first Kiwi Secret Santa great


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Dec 24, 2017)

Leapin_Lizards_98 said:


> Santa Sneasel just delivered my Christmas gift. Big ups to @MerriedxReldnahc  for this! I really like it. Spoiler'd just cuz it's a big image.
> 
> 
> Spoiler
> ...


I'm very glad that you like it, Merry Christmas!


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## Deadwaste (Dec 24, 2017)

i finally got it. idk who it was from technically but @yawning sneasel sent it so


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## GS 281 (Dec 24, 2017)

Hey guys, let me know if you have not received a gift yet

I got the best gift this year


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## Lunete (Dec 25, 2017)

Debrotherized Luigi said:


> ETA: Here's what I did for my person. I have no clue if I was supposed to send it to them myself or have someone else do it on my behalf. Everything was vague, but given the huge effort to run this, it's no big deal to me.
> 
> 
> 
> Spoiler



Thank you. I love it!


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## diana (Dec 25, 2017)

@Stahl sent me this beautiful game:


Spoiler: Nothing nsfw, just big photos






















I managed to survive the onslaught with little trouble, more than @FuckYou can say.


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## WW 635 (Dec 25, 2017)

I received the most awesome fucking story from my secret Santa! They seem to know me really well and I'm still wondering how they knew the exact time I would see the message...



> Christmas Eve 2017
> 
> In a darkened room @Cricket sits in front of her monitor, an ocelot curled in her lap. Softly in the background Ska music plays from her speakers. The trumpets and saxophone blending perfectly with drums, bass and guitar the mixture of instruments was very pleasant to her ears.
> 
> ...


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## Attraction Slime (Dec 25, 2017)

I got the most kickass fanfic in the world that somehow incorporated podcasts I love, wrasslin, being a huge nerd and hating trannies!



Spoiler



Title: Obese Orange Cat and NeoPet Crossing: A Tale of Autism

It was a cool Spring morning when Jon Arbuckle woke up, after spending the first night sleeping in his new home. He had turned over a new leaf and moved to New Leafburg City with his pet dog Odie and pet cat Garfield. He’d moved in without meeting any of the neighbors yet as it was late and the three of them were suffering from jetlag caused by the flight over the ocean to get to their new home, which is billed by the guides as a good place for animals and people who love being around them. That sounded just great for a single man with two pets; So, he jumped at the opportunity.

He stretched, yawning and kicking his blankets over. When he glanced around the room he saw that the pets were still asleep. Not only that but he was awake 5 minutes earlier than the time he set his alarm to! That almost never happened back at the old home. He felt surprisingly well rested for all the hassle it took to get to here.

He poured himself a glass of coffee and it took him five minutes of reading his new freshly subscribed to city newspaper to realize his fat piece of shit cat, Garfield, was now awake and staring intently at him. “Yes?” Jon queried.

“Food?” Garfield meowed with heavy, fat-feline breathing. He was obese.

Jon guessed it was true that the fatty had not eaten in hours considering he was just asleep he thought it was only fair to take him out to eat at one of the local restaurant establishments. There was a burger joint no more than 3 blocks away from home according to the city map he received upon arrival.

After finishing the morning coffee and a single cereal bar he threw the collar on the dog and walked out into the fresh air, sun shining above peacefully. The birds were chirping. Garfield would eat them if he was capable of jumping. But he isn’t, the fat fuck.

It appears that the neighbors came to notice the homeowner taking his pets out because they came out, waving to him. He recognized them from watching WWE PPVs and Smackdown on his television several times: it was Kevin Owens and Bo Dallas! These weren’t any old wrestlers; these guys were multiple time wrestling champions!

In tow with Bo and Kev was some odd, screeching blue flamingo-esque bird. Kevin turned to it, referring to it as “Lenny”

Pretty soon the 3 humans and 3 pets walked into a Burger KANGZ establishment and waited in line. Garfield hated walking, but it was only three blocks and Jon had promised him juicy,

beefy,

succulent…

cheeseburgers. Yes, burgz. Jon is thin, and Garfield does NOT want to have sex with him. Gross, how dare you even think about going there.

Once inside they ordered their food at the counter and Bo decided to pay for all of them, because he’s just a Nice Guy ™ like that, tipping his fedora to the m’lady behind the counter. She blushed at him. He thought about how she totally wanted him to ravage dat pusseh b0ss.

Immediately after they received their order the door was thrown open violently and in strutted one Mr Resetti; however, something was different about the recognizable Nintendo mascot.

He was wearing purple lipstick and a supremely horrible tacky dress. He was a troon now. Not just that but he was obnoxiously centrist instead of SJW or alt-right and acted in such a way everyone across the political spectrum has him blocked on twitter.

Resetti approached the group and the Lenny started caw’ing at him. Resetti called him an SJW. Kevin told Resetti “Step off, we’re a pious, Christian household” and then Resetti rolled his eyes saying they might as well be SJW if they held any principled beliefs.

This got Bo involved, the man saying “It’s a little bit more nuanced than that, actually. That’s not how politics really works.”

The mole got up in his grill, scoffing. “Of course, it is, I watch only the most intellectual of skeptic channels. I’ve transcended even the Amazing Atheist’s intellect”.

“Well…” Bo said, taking a step back, “You want to know what I Bo-lieve?”

The mole quirked an eyebrow up “What?”

“I bo-lieve that you’ve been a cunt for too long!”

Resetti acted aghast at this statement and tried to rush Dallas, but got kicked in the gut halfway through and subsequently powerbombed directly through a table no more than three feet away from where the rest of the group was eating their meal and watching in awe at this complete autism in front of them.

Defeated, the angry centrist tranny rolled around in agony, unable to shriek now, only groans came out of his mouth.

The noise caused by the IRL brawl forced the head manager and owner of this franchise to come onto the scene. Previously, he had been leaning back in his comfy office chair getting a blowjob from an intern. And he was pissed off that he had to get it finished later.

It was the man himself, Tom Nook. Someone with a reputation of screwing over anybody who even remotely slighted him. He was even more outraged when he saw the resulting damage from the scuffle, and he called his goons to force Bo, Kevin, and their dear pet to work for him around town to pay the bills for that broken table.

At first Kevin refused and tried to get Bo to double team Nook. Bo shook his head “It ain’t worth it, bro. Don’t mess with this guy, dawg.”

Kevin wound up smashed over the head with a kendo stick and brought to his new part-time job unconscious.

While all of this was going on between Nook and the pro-wrestlers, the ambulance was called for Resetti, who was complaining about his fake nail being broken.

Garfield decided to fuck off during the aftermath, because all that was exceptional, and he wanted to do something fun instead. So, he stole all the uneaten food, shoving it down his gullet and keeping some in his fat rolls for on the go, and then left.

Now on the other side of town Garfield broke into an empty home with nothing but a TV and a Nintendo Switch inside. He thought nothing of it, as he realized very early on that this town was bizarre and nobody would give a shit (except maybe Jon) if he played some vidya in some house that is probably unoccupied.

Hours passed while he played some of the games that were lying around. And then he heard footsteps behind him. The voice in the back of his head told him that he’d made a mistake.

Gulping, the orange tabby turned and saw that his visitor was none other than a Furby. The infamously Satanic 90s children’s toy. “D… do you own this house?” Garfield asked the Furby.

“I own everything, and, I own nothing.” Said Furby.

The hairs on the back of the cat’s neck stood up. This creature was bizarre, yet Garfield could not respond to what it said, as it continued.

“My child, listen to me as I tell you and show you the deepest secrets of this world we live in.”

Now Garfield liked a good adventure on occasion, but this… this _thing_ was making him rather uncomfortable. That is until it slipped some food into his paws.

“Consume this, feline entity.” Said Furby. “Consume this mushroom and-“

Garfield ate it in one fell swoop, causing the Furby to be taken aback. As if it was surprised that it was that easy to get Garfield to eat something that was offered to him. Clearly this Furby was unaware of the Tabby’s most base nature.

Obesity.

It gained composure again and chuckled. “Very good my child. Now your journey can truly begin. After 1300 words you have now begun. But every beginning is also an ending. Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, Orange One.”

Garfield felt light, and like he was flying. He flew all the way up into space. Stars were twinkling, and he was now free. Free from Jon Arbuckle’s tyranny.

He flew to Mars, where he was welcomed by historical figures such as Jesus Christ, the Saints, Albert Einstein, and Action Bronson the Rapper.

Jesus offered him a seat at the table and told him his mission was to inspire a revolution against his owner. This was the best moment that the obese cat had ever experienced in his fat, miserable life.

He ate so much food at that table, and Bronson walked up to him and started to relay a message. But Garfield got drowsy and gravity stopped working, flinging the cat into space once again. He never got to learn what the controversy about the song “Consensual Rape” was ever about.

Obviously, this was Jon’s fault.

“This, you want to know my opinion on this, Chris?”

“Sure J.W. what is it?”

“It’s shit. Several pages of pure garbage. And this shit was just the prelude to this book. It was god awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Waste of time and resources.”

“So… one of the worst books you ever read?”

“It doesn’t even qualify as a proper fanfiction. It’s just…”

The podcast froze, and the viewer tried refreshing the page. What happened next they weren’t expecting. Instead of listening to their usual podcasts on iTunes the tab refreshed to a youtube video.

Garfield was playing with a furby, NeoPets dolls, action figures, and a Tamagotchi.

He seemed to be re-enacting the story that the podcast guys were doing a reading of, but with his toys.

Jon then complained that it was moving day and told his pet “We aren’t getting any younger or more relevant Garfield. There’s no time for you to continue doing nothing. We gotta go.”

And then it hit the viewer.

This was all just an autistic shitpost for KiwiFarms Secret Santa.

Merry Christmas.


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## Zebedee (Dec 25, 2017)

I gave but never received, know my pain.


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## Attraction Slime (Dec 25, 2017)

They could be just slow @Zebedee ? I only sent mine a few hours ago.


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## Zebedee (Dec 25, 2017)

Attraction Slime said:


> They could be just slow @Zebedee ? I only sent mine a few hours ago.



Hope so


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## BubbleButt (Dec 25, 2017)

Zebedee said:


> I gave but never received, know my pain.



Same.


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## Fandom Trash (Dec 25, 2017)

Haven't recieved mine yet as well


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## RisingPhoenix (Dec 25, 2017)

Eep I'm a little late getting mine done. I'll be sorting it out now sorry >_<


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## Smarmy (Dec 25, 2017)

SPIRITBOT at anyone's service if necessary.


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## Randall Fragg (Dec 25, 2017)

From @Valiant 



 
Merry Christmas everyone!
(Also, XMAS spirit bot here)


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## BubbleButt (Dec 25, 2017)

I, too, am a spiritbot


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## GS 281 (Dec 25, 2017)

In the next hour or so I will begin contacting spiritbots. Sorry if you get your gift a day or two late, just the nature of the late start on this this year guys. Pls bear with us 



BubbleButt said:


> I, too, am a spiritbot


Dude your gift was 10/10. Only a few things woulda made it better (lewder)


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## RisingPhoenix (Dec 25, 2017)

Okay I've been a good legendary bird and posted my gift now so I'll share what I got.





Very adorable Disney and Ghibli Crossover drawing from @dookerbewitt - thank you so much!


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## BubbleButt (Dec 25, 2017)

yawning sneasel said:


> Dude your gift was 10/10. Only a few things woulda made it better (lewder)



I might work on it a bit more, didn't have more than about an hour and a half to do anything with it and I do want to improve it if I can

ETA - But only if the giftee is okay with that


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## GS 281 (Dec 25, 2017)

Okay, I have a list of 10 people who did not receive a gift. Please PM me if you did not receive one. I will be contacting SPIRITBOTs in about 20 mins.


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## liliput (Dec 25, 2017)

My gift to @MellowJello. I wasn't sure if she had gotten it but I hope you like some nice borkers!


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## Shark Tiddays (Dec 25, 2017)

I received a titty shark/Baphomet crossover, and I love it so much. 



Spoiler


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## MellowJello (Dec 25, 2017)

I just wanted to say I loved my present omg ;; ! Probably the best one I'm gonna receive tbh |"D thank you so much @liliput ! 

I thought while I was here I'd post what I made for @AutismalArtist oop





  I honestly forgot what cute face markings sloths have tbh


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## TheImportantFart (Dec 25, 2017)

Major thank you to whoever made this. I actually liked _The Last Jedi_, but I'm gonna crop out the Merry Christmas part (doesn't really apply after today) and make this my new profile picture soon!


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## Spelling Bee (Dec 25, 2017)

From @rookie




*Metal Gear Solid 6: Honey Eater*


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## Dollars2010 (Dec 25, 2017)

My gift from the one and only @RADICALGOBLIN  !
Thank you so much! This is going to be my new desktop background! 


Spoiler


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## Pepito The Cat (Dec 25, 2017)

TheImportantFart said:


> Major thank you to whoever made this. I actually liked _The Last Jedi_, but I'm gonna crop out the Merry Christmas part (doesn't really apply after today) and make this my new profile picture soon!
> View attachment 342038



That would be me. No worries, I have the clean version here (as a PNG):






And without the text:


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## RADICALGOBLIN (Dec 25, 2017)

I didn't get anything.






EDIT: NVM, @_blank_ stepped in and decided to make up for whoever got drunk and forgot to give me anything.

so basically my parents



Spoiler: Big Ass Image tm


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## TheImportantFart (Dec 25, 2017)

Pepito said:


> That would be me. No worries, I have the clean version here (as a PNG):
> 
> 
> 
> ...


You spoil me


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## GS 281 (Dec 25, 2017)

@RADICALGOBLIN thanks for letting us know. 

Anyone else?


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## BubbleButt (Dec 25, 2017)

My secret santa gift is amazing, thank you to whoever made it.  Your voice is beautiful.


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## GS 281 (Dec 25, 2017)

Thank @InLivingTuna, @BubbleButt, @MasterDisaster, @Cricket, @_blank_, @Thiccc Weenie, @ISO'os, @MerriedxReldnahc, and @Valiant for all being awesome SPIRIT9001's

If anyone else did not get a gift, PM me!


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## WW 635 (Dec 25, 2017)

Thank you, @yawning sneasel, for putting all this together this year! You saved Christmas for many lonely kiwis


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## Fandom Trash (Dec 26, 2017)

Thank you @Cricket for drawing best boy!


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## Reynard (Dec 26, 2017)

BubbleButt said:


> My secret santa gift is amazing, thank you to whoever made it.  Your voice is beautiful.


Mind if I ask exactly what it was and if you're willing to share?


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## HY 140 (Dec 26, 2017)

@Kiwi Jeff made this nice OC, who kinda reminds me of the team galactic grunts



Spoiler


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## BubbleButt (Dec 26, 2017)

Reynard said:


> Mind if I ask exactly what it was and if you're willing to share?



http://www33.zippyshare.com/v/3FCOpsU6/file.html


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## Y2K Baby (Dec 26, 2017)




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## WW 635 (Dec 26, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> View attachment 342558


Hawt


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## Cantaloupine (Dec 26, 2017)

I got my current avatar off of @Magique  With a really cute story. 

I gave @Sylvie Paula Paula a bit of artfaggery (hope the link works, I'm awful at formatting) : 



Spoiler


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## Slowpoke Sonic (Dec 26, 2017)

@yawning sneasel gave me this wonderful masterpiece



Spoiler


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## GS 281 (Dec 26, 2017)

Memeanon said:


> @yawning sneasel gave me this wonderful masterpiece
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That wasn't from me, i was just acting as secret santa.

BTW, if you got a gift from me, thats because i was passing things as secret santa, im not a good artist.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Dec 26, 2017)

Fine art from @Valiant! In space no one can hear you scream with festive joy.




Edit: spelled ur name wrong


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## SpessCaptain (Dec 26, 2017)

@Azafran90 for their beautiful work ♥



Spoiler: big img


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## Cantaloupine (Dec 26, 2017)

Valiant said:


> @Azafran90 for their beautiful work ♥
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Wow, I love that art style! <3


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## BubbleButt (Dec 26, 2017)

Cantaloupine said:


> Spoiler



Jesus Christ, dude, that's gorgeous.


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## opy702 (Dec 26, 2017)

Valiant said:


> @Azafran90 for their beautiful work ♥
> 
> 
> 
> ...


This is the best thing I have seen all day!


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## Cantaloupine (Dec 26, 2017)

BubbleButt said:


> Jesus Christ, dude, that's gorgeous.



Thank you so much!    I'm not generally confident in my human drawings.


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## Yutyrannus (Dec 26, 2017)

@Hen in a tie actually drew my fucking fursona. Winner.
Not showing for powerlevel reasons.


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## Mr. Duck (Dec 26, 2017)

Got this little story as a gift.


Spoiler



Hello.
I am a duck.
A duck that is capable of acting like a human.
I am not anthropomorphic, if that is what you are wondering. Oh no. Far from it. That would just look hideous. I mean, imagine a duck with legs? Not like bird legs but literal human legs. Fucking weird, eh? Not something you’d really want to come face to face with in the street.

So I was shitposting on my favourite forum, KiwiFarms, when I noticed they were holding a Secret Santa, like they do every year (I think. Not something I’d usually keep track of).
“Hey, I should take part!” I thought to myself, deciding to sign up.
However, I hadn’t fully realised it was an art SS and not one you buy physical gifts for until I’d signed up and submitted the necessary criteria. This somehow made it worse. I can’t draw, because I have wings. I mean, how many avian artists are there out there? None, because it’s fucking impossible to make anything semi decent with wings.
Despite this hurdle, I decided I would try and make something anyway because, you know, it’s the thought that counts. People should learn to be grateful, as there are a lot of people in the world who do not get anything nice. Picking up a biro from my desk, I got to work.

Half an hour and plenty of stabbing the paper with the pen and swearing later, I was finished. Looking at what I had crafted, I grimaced as best a duck could grimace. It looked like shit, as I predicted it would.
“Oh dear,” I tutted as I stared the drawing up and down. It was so bad, all the greats (especially Da Vinci) would have wept and cowered in fear.
So, completely forgetting about the whole “it’s the thought that counts” rule I’d set myself, I destroyed the damn thing and went to bed.
“I’ll start again in the morning,” I muttered to myself as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.


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## Y2K Baby (Dec 26, 2017)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> Fine art from @Valiant! In space no one can hear you scream with festive joy.
> View attachment 342658
> 
> Edit: spelled ur name wrong


I thought I was gifting you.


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## SpessCaptain (Dec 26, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> I thought I was gifting you.


you were late you GRINCH


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## Y2K Baby (Dec 26, 2017)

Valiant said:


> you were late you GRINCH


Was not.


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## Hen in a tie (Dec 26, 2017)

Mother fucking @Mr. Duck  drew me the greatest version of myself.


Spoiler: I luv uwu~<3





 In all reality I really fucking love this It's saved under my "The super secret folder that if anyone saw I would shank their ass" file


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## Y2K Baby (Dec 26, 2017)

Hen in a tie said:


> Mother fucking @Mr. Duck  drew me the greatest version of myself.
> 
> 
> Spoiler: I luv uwu~<3


Pic ain't working.


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## Hen in a tie (Dec 26, 2017)

Y2K Baby said:


> Pic ain't working.


That's weird, I re uploaded it just in case


Hen in a tie said:


> Mother fucking @Mr. Duck  drew me the greatest version of myself.
> 
> 
> Spoiler: I luv uwu~<3
> ...


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## GG Allin (Dec 27, 2017)

Got this kickass lil story from @Tommy Wiseau Kin



Spoiler



"What's wrong Purple?"

Everyday was the same. After a long day of filled with fruits, sunny days, children's toys, and hippie clothing, Orange would always find his homegirl Purple sulking in the corner, smoking a huge blunt. The bags under her eyes grew deeper everyday and her normally radiant color turned duller with each inhale of weed. 

Purple had never been like this before. How could she? She was the color of determination, strength, wealth, extravagance, pride, independence and nobility. Combining the fierce color of red and gentle stability of blue, purple was the hue that for many centuries demanded respect as one of the most rarest colors found in clothing, conveyed a sense of mystery, inspired creativity, and held great meaning throughout cultures all around the globe. Though they were on the opposite side of the spectrum in hue, Purple and Orange always had a strong bond and loved complimenting eachother in every piece of art they appeared in. 

But Purple responded to the question in silence as she met his eyes, but then reverted her gaze back down to the ground. The tension could be cut with a knife. 

"What happened to you?" Orange asked, finally breaking the silence. "You used to be so lively, strong, determined, like nothing could ever stop you but now...all you do is smoke pot all day."

"I _used_ to be like that but not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

Purple took a deep huff and said, "I'm not like that anymore because my color has lost all meaning. The world is changing and while every other color has been able to find a significant place in this consumerist and international world but I haven't. I used to be such a rare color and only royalty could sport me but as the world has changed, I lost meaning. Everyone else was able to find a respectable place in the world like Blue--Blue is the go to color for baby boys so it's one of the first colors half the US' babies are exposed to but even then he is still the main color for Hanukkah, there's a popular Disney princess with a blue dress, many young girls like blue. But for me, where do I appear? A popular color for emo and scene kids? At least Black has the reputation as a slimming and classy color. But me?"

Orange twisted his face. It was true, Purple certainly didn't have the power she once had but still there had to be something. Just something to show her there was still something.

"What about Christianity?" He asked. "You still have significance in Christian tradition and you even symbolize certain seasons in their year."

"Eh. Do most people really put muchthought in the priest's robe?"

"True..." He was stumped. There had to be a way to show the significance for her color. Suddenly the thought hit him. "Follow me!"

**************************************

"What is this?" Purple asked as they arrived to a bleak, damp, gray area, where all your dreams go to die and no happiness can come from it.

"What does it look like? What color do you see?" Orange asked with a huge grin on his face.

"Ugh...gray?" 

"Yes gray. And where is gray?"

Purple looked around and couldn't find him anywhere. This was his place wasn't it? So he should be here somewhere. She walked around the bleak, weathering reality of his existence trying to find him until...

"Ouch!"

Purple looked down to find two eyes opening up and staring at her. It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust to the constant the gray to realize that those eyes belonged to the color gray. "Gray! What are you doing down there?"

"I spend most of my time here." Gray's voice was flat and lifeless. "Coloring storms and emo artwork about people feeling sad and empty doesn't require much so I just mostly lay here alone."

"Don't you have like...clothing you need to color?" Purple asked.

"Mostly t-shirts and sweaters but I don't tend to focus my energy on fashion. I can't really." 

"So what do you fill?"

"Just the gloomy, empty, or sad. I'm not like you, Purple, who colors orchids, berries, or nice clothing. When a flowers begins to gray, people throw it away. When a fruit starts to show my color, it means it's rotting and you have have to throw it away or it could make you suck. Even my clothes tend to be the shirts you wear when you don't care if it gets dirty or not like for a blue collar job or when you exercise. But that's my lot in life."

"So that's all you do? Just lay here and color dead and bad things."

"Pretty much. Like I said before, I'm not a color like you that means life. I mean death."

Purple couldn't help but form a wide grin on her face. "Yeah, I do color life, unlike you." She looked at the color Orange, who too was smiling. "Thank you. Now I understand my place in life and that no matter what, I'm not a pathetic piece of shit like Gray here."

"What?" asked Gray. "I think my job is at least impor-"

"Don't mention it." Orange interrupted, pretending like the floomy color wasn't there. "I knew seeing someone as useless and unloveable as Gray would cheer you up."

Gray: Hey I take offense to tha-

Purple: *Twirling around in glee* I am Purple, the color of power, determination, creativity, and independence!"

"Gray: Gray isn't all that ba-

Orange: And I am Orange, the color of happiness, energy, life, and strength!

Gray: But guys I'm not--

Purple and Orange: *In unison* And together we symbolize strength and life!

Gray: Oh forget it



And idk if they've seen it, but I made this little Pufferton for @Rat Speaker ((@BOLDYSPICY! You wanted to see it!!))



Spoiler


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## BOLDYSPICY! (Dec 27, 2017)

@GG Allin I love it! You captured the essence of @Rat Speaker so perfectly.

@diana already posted the gorgeous art she made for me (thank you again!) so I'll post my present for @Gook Choy, lover of THOTs in Overwatch cosplay & bringer of Shaner stories. I present: Trainer.


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## Flustercuck (Dec 28, 2017)

I got none


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## Y2K Baby (Dec 28, 2017)

Flustercuck said:


> I got none


And I think mine wasn't sent.


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## opy702 (Dec 28, 2017)

A little something from @MerriedxReldnahc 





And something I made for @atm


Spoiler: MSPaint awaits


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## Cantaloupine (Dec 28, 2017)

Flustercuck said:


> I got none



If you don't get anything I don't mind drawing you a thing


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## Dirt McGirt (Jan 12, 2018)

I-I can wait...


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## Y2K Baby (Jan 12, 2018)

Dirt McGirt said:


> I-I can wait...


Take my (technically) unused gift.


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## Dollars2010 (Jan 24, 2018)

I forgot to share, but I had
@SpaceQuakes  for a secret thing and made them this SMT Nocturne DemiCWC Fiend with Jack Frostichu!



Spoiler


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## Gorgar (Jan 25, 2018)

I gave an excerpt of the unofficial sequel for Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked To Be A Pile of Ash


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