# Have you Ever Seen a Lolcow in Real Life?



## SpergPatrol (Jul 10, 2018)

I ask because I saw two real life lolcow at my job that even though I didn't know their names, they were already a huge lolcow for the few hours I saw them sit at thier table.

I thought it be fun to share expierences from people who ever had an encounter from a cow that might not be known or is known but not really anything noteworthy for the threads they already have.

Mine were two big fat  people. One was dressed in footy pajamas and the other that came into the place that I work was holding already 5 stuffed animals.
I talked with them and I swear to god they both sounded exactly like chris chan even the girl somehow.
I didnt really focus on it because I thought maybe they were foreign and the accent might not translate well so I got the items they requested.

I work near disney resort but this didn't give off any lolcow vibes yet so I gave them what they came for and they sat down and opened two labtops and phones.

This also wasn't anything shocking because again disney I figured they were tourists talking to family or something.
Well right until they literally started screaming "This Facebook group is lying about me FUCK THIS GROUP!"
The other one also joined in the chant "Yah fuck this group!" 
Right next to an entire family of small children no older than five, and they are screaming fuck so loud that everyone was looking at them.

They didn't seem to care and eventually stopped. 
I already suspected right then they were cows but I was more focused on at the time on cleaning the establishment so I lef to do so.

Then it started again this time they were saying "fuck you," to a livestream of some girl who the lady wearing the pink minnie shirt said "was spreading lies about her," and " fuck that bitch," while texting a thrid party before resuming the chant "fuck that facebook group."

I went back to my post for a few hours and stopped watching them for a short time.

When I looked back at them I got a glance when one was getting up.

They had visible shit their pants and I had to go clean again so I got to see up close those two and I will never forget what I saw.

Both of them had thier shirts all the way to thier pants all covered in shit.

I knew at that moment they were both lolcows.

Turns out when I stopped looking they both went into the men and women's bathroom and shat not in the toilet,  but in the trashbin.

And it didn't take a rocket scientist to figured out they played with it too.

The manager got cussed out by them when she actually told them to not shit in our trashbins again.
They later apologized and said "she was a nice lady and we are sorry for yelling."

They ending up staying from 7 p.m. all the way to closing at 1 a.m.

They used up all of our internet and they were just on there stalking a facebook group and livestream saying "fuck these guys," and playing some phone version of Farmville.

And right before they waddled out they broke the women's trashbin before smearing shit on the door on thier way out.

But right before they left I heard them say "I like this place we are coming back here more often."

I don't know if I should quit my job now so I don't have to clean the literal shitstorm they leave the place in or stay and record that shit just to archive this shit actually happening.


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## Okkervils (Jul 10, 2018)

lol bullshit


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## SpergPatrol (Jul 10, 2018)

Okkervils said:


> lol bullshit


It is true if they came back I will show pictures and everything.

Why would I make up a story of two people coming into my store and rubbing themselves in shit?


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## Okkervils (Jul 10, 2018)

SpergPatrol said:


> Why would I make up a story of two people coming into my store and rubbing themselves in shit?



I don't know. Why are you?


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## SpergPatrol (Jul 10, 2018)

Okkervils said:


> I don't know. Why are you?


I'm not

Believe what you want I am just sharing my story.

Do you have a story?


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## Zaragoza (Jul 10, 2018)

I saw Chris Chan at a grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.


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## Okkervils (Jul 10, 2018)

Zaragoza said:


> I saw Chris Chan at a grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
> He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
> I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
> The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
> When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.





this one never fails to crack me up, i swear.


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## A Hot Potato (Jul 10, 2018)

Great thread.


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## Cthulu (Jul 10, 2018)

SpergPatrol said:


> I work near disney resort


Well there's your problem right there. You're in Florida.


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## Kari Kamiya (Jul 10, 2018)

Check your mirrors.


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## Deadpool (Jul 10, 2018)

Once I was on this website called Kiwi Farms, and this user posted a thread with a really dumb far fetched story. Then the other users made fun of him and shitposted until they got bored.


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## A Hot Potato (Jul 10, 2018)

Deadpool said:


> Once I was on this website called Kiwi Farms, and this user posted a thread with a really dumb far fetched story. Then the other users made fun of him and shitposted until they got bored.


That user's name?

@Albert Einstein


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## Deadpool (Jul 10, 2018)

A Hot Pizza said:


> That user's name?
> 
> @Albert Einstein


And all the kiwis cheered.


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## The Fool (Jul 10, 2018)

i see a LOLCOW in real life every day.........

when i look in the mirror.............................


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## Burgers in the ass (Jul 10, 2018)

One time I saw @Fagnasty on the street once, he was huffing gas and fucking ass and all that sort of shit.
So I threw my can of Bundaberg onto him, and then he got mad and raped me, yelling my address over and over again for every thrust he dick into my ass.
I still question to this day if he is actually a lolcow or not.


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## ES 148 (Jul 10, 2018)

I saw @Alan Pardew in a McDonald's parking lot


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## Molo (Jul 10, 2018)

Personal lolcow thread?


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## DN 420 (Jul 10, 2018)

my mom is a huge lolcow hahaha it makes me sad


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## HG 400 (Jul 10, 2018)

Burgers in the ass said:


> I still question to this day if he is actually a lolcow or not.



You're the one drinking premixed bundy, mate.


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## José Mourinho (Jul 10, 2018)

Vrakks said:


> I saw @Alan Pardew in a McDonald's parking lot


I saw you there too


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## Cokeisbetterthenpepsi (Jul 10, 2018)

I once saw @Null in a McDonald's parking lot and me made me suck his dick


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## Francis E. Dec Esc. (Jul 10, 2018)

I walked past the Because of My Syndrome girl last year at DFW airport. She was in a wheelchair.


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## RG 448 (Jul 10, 2018)

I once saw a transgendered person expressing liberal ideologies while wearing a my little pony shirt.  They were otherwise acting completely normal but still what a lolcow lmao thread when


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## Bassomatic (Jul 10, 2018)

Does this thread mean they have a thread here or just a weirdo? Because yes to both.


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## The Fool (Jul 10, 2018)

one time I took a shit and looked in the toilet and pointed and yelled "HAHA WHAT A LOLCOW" at the top of my lungs and woke up my neighbors because it was 4 in the morning and I don't have any responsibilities.


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## Cthulu (Jul 10, 2018)

One time I was sleeping on @Rat Speaker's porch because he had locked the door after I went though his trash and left it scattered all over the yard. Anyway he ordered pizza. I was thinking good my be he'll throw me some scraps. Well I waited and waited but no pizza ever came. I heard the door unlock and thought maybe he was going to let me in for the night. Instead he stormed out and walked down the street to Papa John's. He pulled down his pants, backed up to the door and left a huge steaming turd right in the doorway. He pulled his pants back up and walked right back in the house and locked the door again.


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## A Hot Potato (Jul 10, 2018)

I once saw @Rat Speaker take a massive fucking shit in my house's door way.

Someone should dox that mother fucker!


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## Cthulu (Jul 10, 2018)

A Hot Pizza said:


> I once saw @Rat Speaker take a massive fucking shit in my house's door way.
> 
> Someone should dox that mother fucker!


How do you think I was at his house fam


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## A Hot Potato (Jul 10, 2018)

Cthulhu said:


> How do you think I was at his house fam


post dox now before I rape u


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## whatever I feel like (Jul 10, 2018)

I've met a Pokemon fan who dresses like Ash Ketchum. Like not to attend events or anything, thats just what he was dressed like while out at the bar after a hard night's Go!...

A creepy guy who went up and started talking to me about Dark Magician Girl at a nerd store once (adult me has not cared about Yu-Gi-Oh in decades.)

A lady melting down at her "failure" of a husband at the airport.

And one guy loudly talking on the bus to anyone who would listen about his favorite fast food chain restaurants.

Also was friends with a highly successful internet cow, whom you folks never discovered, for a number of years. Though we no longer talk.


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## Maiden-TieJuan (Jul 10, 2018)

I once watched @Cthulhu give @Rat Speaker and blow job for blow.  One of them was wearing a brony shirt at the time.  They found me in the bushes tho, and made me hold the camera for them.


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## Cthulu (Jul 11, 2018)

Maiden-TieJuan said:


> I once watched @Cthulhu give @Rat Speaker and blow job for blow.  One of them was wearing a brony shirt at the time.  They found me in the bushes tho, and made me hold the camera for them.


@Rat Speaker had the brony shirt cause he's a brony


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## Bassomatic (Jul 11, 2018)

Cthulhu said:


> One time I was sleeping on @Rat Speaker's porch because he had locked the door after I went though his trash and left it scattered all over the yard. Anyway he ordered pizza. I was thinking good my be he'll throw me some scraps. Well I waited and waited but no pizza ever came. I heard the door unlock and thought maybe he was going to let me in for the night. Instead he stormed out and walked down the street to Papa John's. He pulled down his pants, backed up to the door and left a huge steaming turd right in the doorway. He pulled his pants back up and walked right back in the house and locked the door again.


This reads more like you stole a page out of @entropyseekswork diary.


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## Cthulu (Jul 11, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> This reads more like you stole a page out of @entropyseekswork diary.


It's a true story


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## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Jul 11, 2018)

One time I was walking down the street and who do I see but Alex Jones? So I was like, "hey, I've heard of you!"

And he said "Who the fuck are you? You obviously know who I am, so you should know I'm too damn important to talk to some nobody".

Obviously I was taken aback.  But before I could think of something to say, he spun on his heel and started walking away.  I was trying to think of a clever comeback, when suddenly this guy just up and decks him, knocking him flat on his ass. 

So I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do, when the guy who punched out Alex Jones takes off his sunglasses. Suddenly I release, holy shit, it's 4chan!  So I walk over to Alex, still sprawled on the ground, and said "Well I guess you weren't too important to get your ass kicked by... ", then I took off my shades in a really cool manner, and finished, "nobody"

Then me and 4 chan high fived, and everybody clapped.  The name of that street? Albert Einstein Avenue.

True story.


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## Dysnomia (Jul 11, 2018)

There used to be this guy in my neighborhood that everyone called Fat Albert. He looked just like Fat Albert and would dress in the red sweater and blue jeans. You'd see him walking around and people would go "Hey! There's Fat Albert!"

I have no idea what his deal was or why he intentionally dressed just like Fat Albert. It could have been a weird coincidence. But he wore the clothes like all the time. And he had to have known that people called him Fat Albert. I haven't seen him in a long time. Maybe he went back to the junkyard.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Jul 11, 2018)

No. Nothing happens where I live.


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## jewelry investor (Jul 11, 2018)

I knew an autistic kid who wanted to be un-autistic. His solution was to watch lots of FOOTBALL like a NORMAL PERSON.


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## Overcast (Jul 11, 2018)

I saw @scorptatious arguing with a bunch of five year olds over Teen Titans Go! and he was bitching up a storm.

He also smelled like concentrated chlorine.


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## Bassomatic (Jul 11, 2018)

Jewed Hunter said:


> I knew an autistic kid who wanted to be un-autistic. His solution was to watch lots of FOOTBALL like a NORMAL PERSON.


Did it work? Did he die?


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## jewelry investor (Jul 11, 2018)

Bassomatic said:


> Did it work? Did he die?


if he ded'd it would be from alcohol poisoning.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 12, 2018)

Storytime, faggots.

In high school, there was this complete chris-chan-tier spergo who spent his entire day in the computer wing of the library. He would sniff recently sat-upon seats, ask girls out on dates right in front of their friends in the highest pitched monotone voice you've ever heard, would hover over girls to smell their hair, and the best part, would openly masturbate to inflation fetish rubber dragon porn on furaffinity, in the library, with people looking at him. He did not care. I don't have too many stories of him, but I remember that he always smelled bleachy and like shit.

Thing is, he really was basically Chris. same build, same dumb haircut, wore primary-colored polos, thick-rimmed glasses and was just a bit chubby. An actual nerdo Melvin archetype in appearance.

God damn I do wonder what he's up to these days. Can't be that good, whatever it is.


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## The Fool (Jul 12, 2018)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> Storytime, faggots.



Don't call me a faggot.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Jul 12, 2018)

You're a fuckin faggot, queermo.


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## The Fool (Jul 12, 2018)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> You're a fuckin faggot, queermo.



HAHA WHAT A LOLCOW


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## Gus (Jul 13, 2018)

Not every criminal is a convict...


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## LolRaccoon (Nov 10, 2019)

Have you ever seen any of the lolcows we discuss on these boards out in person? If so, what was it like? 

I've mentioned this before in the "Chris Chan at BronyCon thread" a few months ago, but I've actually seen Chris Chan in person. He legitimately looked like the Looney Tunes version of Benjamin Franklin. His eyes looked really watery and his stare made him look like he was out of it.


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## Tour of Italy (Nov 10, 2019)

I’ve seen our special friend in the wild multiple times, before the the original 4chan leaks.

I was much younger, and he was much less weird, so I didn’t really know what to think. I liked Legos a ton and remember seeing his card carrier and being disgusted at the thought that he might have used superglue to hold it together.

I’d say more but I don’t want to fucking Dox myself.


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## Stranger Neighbors (Nov 10, 2019)

I actually came to the farms and realized I met a cow at a house party a long time ago. They seemed normal at first when I met them but as we spoke i realized something wasn't right. I got the feeling they were a very manipulative and calculated liar. They personality mirrored me for a longtime during conversation and really seemed like they wanted me to like them. I waited for conversation to fizzle out and left them alone.

It was only a few weeks back i found their dead thread, they went into DFE and hasn't been back on the internet since and I have no idea where they are IRL pretty sure they moved out of my state


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## Thumb Butler (Nov 10, 2019)

Stranger Neighbors said:


> I actually came to the farms and realized I met a cow at a house party a long time ago. They seemed normal at first when I met them but as we spoke i realized something wasn't right. I got the feeling they were a very manipulative and calculated liar. They personality mirrored me for a longtime during conversation and really seemed like they wanted me to like them. I waited for conversation to fizzle out and left them alone.
> 
> It was only a few weeks back i found their dead thread, they went into DFE and hasn't been back on the internet since and I have no idea where they are IRL pretty sure they moved out of my state



"Them".... so which troon is it?


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## Stranger Neighbors (Nov 10, 2019)

Thumb Butler said:


> "Them".... so which troon is it?


Hahahaha clever duck. Yes a member of the Rat King hive mind but in interest of staying far away from them I'm going to leave it at that.


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## Maiseisinthetea (Nov 10, 2019)

I room with one :/.


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## Homer J. Fong (Nov 10, 2019)

I don't even know if they count as Cows but I was once at a mall and the Foam Adventure goofballs walked right by side likely doing some Furry errand. In case you haven't been on the autistic side of the web for a decade here is their claim to infamy.






I just remember being stuck frozen in surprise as they were shouting right in my ear. I couldn't remember who they were till a moment later.

Also I did see Wil Wheaton at a comic con once, nothing happened becauee I was not gonna pay for his fucking autograph.


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## Titty Figurine (Nov 10, 2019)

A non-threaded but briefly mentioned furry one was in my social sphere in college, he was always weird but tolerably so. Basic cringy renfaire fag, purring in public, humping MTG players kind of stuff. He liked the freshman chicks but so did literally every other mallgoth degenerate that hung around with us. 

If he and his Huttwife hadn't gotten busted grooming a family member years later he probably could have avoided any kind of mention for his deviant ways. 

He does have the cowface though, and hard. 



Spoiler


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## Damn Near (Nov 10, 2019)

I saw Kailyn Wilcher on tinder once when I was passing through Maryland


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## LolRaccoon (Nov 10, 2019)

Another one you could mention is me for being fucking retarded enough not to realize this thread had been done already.


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## Strange Rope Hero (Nov 24, 2019)

every time I look in the mirror


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## TV's Adam West (Nov 27, 2019)

I saw Ryan DSP at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.


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## Dumb Bitch Smoothie (Nov 27, 2019)

Cardenio said:


> I don't even know if they count as Cows but I was once at a mall and the Foam Adventure goofballs walked right by side likely doing some Furry errand. In case you haven't been on the autistic side of the web for a decade here is their claim to infamy.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Seeing this made me howl because I had pushed this shit to the back of my mind for the last few years. This shit is as much of a gift now as it was back then. I appreciate this. 

That being said, I've seen a thread around here in Beauty Parlor I think? About Emily Snow.
A female orbiter friend of hers who serves as her photographer for her lewd shit used to run in the anime convention circles which is where I encountered them. 
Photography orbiter goes hilariously out of her way to hide her fat in every single photo she takes while trying to take non fat girl photos.

Emily, the photography orbiter bitch, and a bunch of their dangerhair friends all got into FinDom and cuckolding and that's how they make their money now.


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## Chin of Campbell (Nov 27, 2019)

There was a kid I went to High School with who would never bathe and had a modern Chris-Chan haircut. He was obsessed with Hamtaro the way spergs are, and I almost guarantee that if social media would have been as big back then as it is now, dude would have been prime cut beef.

I still see him walking down main street from time to time, looking exactly the same except greasier and fatter.


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## GorillaGhost (Apr 2, 2022)

Zaragoza said:


> I saw Chris Chan at a grocery store yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
> He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
> I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
> The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
> When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.


If true, he deserves a gold star and an asshole award. I'm polite to people, but some people really get on my nerves.


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