# How do you deal with fear of death?



## Lord of the Large Pants (Mar 5, 2022)

Some people say they're not afraid of death. I guess I believe them. But I suspect that just means they haven't thought very much about it.

Me? I'm fucking terrified. I wasn't always. But at a certain point when I was about 23, I was laying in bed one night and it hit me like a bolt of lightning that I'm going to die someday. It really fucked me up and still does occasionally to this day. And with the threat of nuclear annihilation currently at a level not seen in the lifetimes of many people here (myself included), the thought has become a bit more pressing.

Being religious sounds like it would help. Hasn't helped me. A commonly read Christian funeral rite speaks of the sure and certain hope of the resurrection. Well... I've never been that sure or certain on pretty much any topic. I hope it's true, or that something like it is true. I think it probably is. But nobody knows. Although I believe that at least one Man came back to tell us, I could very easily be wrong.

And if not? Well. People might say that there's no pain in eternal, that you'll be too dead to care, or that if you were okay before you were born you'll be okay with being dead. Non fui, fui, non sum, non curo. Or maybe that death is simply a part of nature. Or that things are impermanent and there's really no such thing as "I", so why mourn something that never existed?

Personally, I'm not that good of a philosopher.

There is a sense in most humans that death is something fundamentally wrong. It's not supposed to be this way. Death is, of itself, evil. I think this is a correct instinct. There may be some people born without it, but most people who are a little too fast and easy about death, I suspect, have to work very hard to suppress their natural inclinations. A sort of stoic attitude about death is most common among atheists, but I've seen it among religious believers too, often motivated by excessive fixation on the afterlife. If heaven is so great, why think death is so terrible? But most Christians, at least, have a strong sense that we were not originally made to die.

Maybe the best we can hope for is that by the end of our lives, we'll be ready for it. I've seen people face death with no fear, mostly religious, but some not. It seems that there's some way to conquer that fear. I just wish I knew what it was.

I think it's normal to fear death. I wish people would talk about it more. So here I am, on my local Nigerian ham radio enthusiast forum, trying to get that going. Are you afraid to die? If so, how do you handle it?


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## Samir (Mar 5, 2022)

I'm a Christian, that certainly helps me. I was much more afraid of death when I was atheist.


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## Apochrypha (Mar 5, 2022)

Death used to freak me out a bit. But honestly, knowing you and everyone you have ever known is inevitably going to die and that death is imminent is comforting in a way. Why would you be scared of something that is out of your control?

 For example, You can't control the passing of time, only how you spend it. Same with death. You can't control how and when you will die, but you can definetly do your best to live your life the way you want. Don't worry about dying, it will happen to you regardless. Worry about what you can do before that happens.


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## Shidoen (Mar 5, 2022)

I realize death is a pile of bones and I could probably kick his ass.


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## Prophetic Spirit (Mar 5, 2022)

Samir said:


> I'm a Christian, that certainly helps me. I was much more afraid of death when I was atheist.


You're just confused. I'm atheist at this point but i'm not afraid of death.
I just pray to nature of life itself to don't kill me in a accident, since i'm cautious in general, so lethal incidents are probably not gonna happen with my life. If i going to die someday, i prefer in a relax and chilling way, like in the bed or sleeping.


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## Caesare (Mar 5, 2022)

I welcome death. My soul is prepared. The only thing that I worry about is a horrible, painful, slow death like cancer or something on that level. That is probably what's going to happen though.


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## Herrinnert_U_zich_Jezus? (Mar 5, 2022)

I never been afraid of death. With my life, it be the better option. Just lights out and eternal dark, kinda makes me want to plan my suicide.


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## Jimmy Olsen (Mar 5, 2022)

When I was around seven years old it dawned on me that I was going to die someday. I spent the entire night crying, completely inconsolable. 

Ever since then, I've just kind of accepted it. I don't want to die, but it's going to happen whether I worry about it or not. I just don't want to die of something like Alzheimer's. I don't want my brain croaking before my body. I've got something that will probably make me die earlier (not super young, probably in my fifties or sixties), and in a way, I'm kind of glad. It's enough time to live a full life without spending the last few years a drooling vegetable.


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## retard strength (Mar 5, 2022)

If you are fortunate enough to have a funny/chill grandparent that you're close to, try asking them. It felt weird to bring up but talking with my grandpa about death and his life and memories has been helpful for me.

This one will be less helpful, but dreams where you die. Waking up with those final thoughts and still being in that state of mind got me feeling like I could make my peace very quickly in the moment, because that's what happened in the dreams.


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## William "Billy" Eilish (Mar 5, 2022)

The way I see it is why be afraid of my own death? No more of my problems as big or small as they might be and just a nice long rest it's inevitable but fearing it will only speed it up and make life not worth living. 

So I guess I'm asking what's worse? Knowing you are going to die but being content accepting that, moving on and living your life on your own terms? Or letting fear of something natural and inevitable stop you from really living at all? I don't know about you man but for me it's an easy choice


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## Joe Swanson (Mar 5, 2022)

Death is ultimately something that's extremely hard to cope with for many people, but you need to accept it as a inevitably and live life to the fullest while you are alive


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## Milkis (Mar 5, 2022)

Have you tried getting homoerotically obsessed with death?


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## Troonos (Mar 5, 2022)

I don't. I think about it every day when I lie awake in bed, and it makes me depressed. Almost as depressed as the horrifying reality that my parents are at the age where they're statistically likely to be dead within a decade.


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## Red Hood (Mar 5, 2022)

"You can fall 60 stories, or you can slip in the shower."


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## Osmosis Jones (Mar 5, 2022)

I became aware of death and its inevitability at a very early age. I've almost died a few times. I'm not worried about it, frankly. It used to keep me up all night and make me ask why I do anything if I'll be dead far longer than I'll be alive. Now I ask why I wouldn't do something given that I am alive. Life is a bizarre anomaly and death or the lack of 'being' is the default state. 

I have spent a lot of time thinking about death. I used to see it as an end, but now I see it as part of the process. I view myself as a part of a living, learning universe. Perhaps not living as we understand it but in a more esoteric way. It's beside the point. The greater spiritual view that I hold is what makes me comfortable with the inevitable end of _being_ that will come.


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## Bixby Snyder (Mar 5, 2022)

I look at it like the next big adventure. I’m either going to die and that’s it — which everyone says in a feeling of peace. That or reincarnation or heaven shit takes place. Either way it’s pretty exciting.


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## Lone MacReady (Mar 6, 2022)

I'm literally about to lie down for a temporary death right now. What pain and sadness do you feel in the void before you wake up in the morning? If the answer is none, then you have nothing to fear from death, it is only an escape from pain.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 6, 2022)

I try to keep busy and not give myself time to think about it.

Been thinking about this shit seriously since I was like 8 and it's a total bummer.


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## FILTH Tourist (Mar 6, 2022)

My dad is one of those don't fear death types. He is into extreme motor sports and has ended up in the hospital a lot when I was growing up. He has a casual attitude towards death and will sometimes just start light conversations over lunch about what am I going to do when he is dead and buried. Me and my mom never appreciated the fatalistic attitude but it did help me except that we all gotta go eventually. Now I just don't think about it and hope it comes, quick, painless, and quietly.


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## Kari Kamiya (Mar 6, 2022)

retard strength said:


> If you are fortunate enough to have a funny/chill grandparent that you're close to, try asking them.


In 2020, my grandma practically admitted she and Papa were just sitting around waiting to die by that point, and they had felt like that before the pandemic lockdowns. The following year, they got their wish, sad as the outcomes were. In fact, Grandma was actually mad at Papa for delaying her death (had cardiac arrest but was revived), she was practically ready to go, although judging from her final journal entry, she might've been loopy from the wrong medication that led to her heart stopping the next day.

Death is natural, and it's okay to be sad when someone passes on. You'll always miss them, but you have to move on with your life despite it unless you're too heartbroken to carry on. Having any sliver of hope that you'll see your loved ones again on the other side lessens the fear of death. The real fear, I think, is in _how_ you'll die. I think majority of us will agree that passing quietly in your sleep sounds like the best way to go since you may not actually feel it, but not all of us will get our wish in how we want to go. Acceptance of it will vary between individuals, but I think no matter what, the fact pain will no longer exist in immortality is a tender mercy bestowed upon all living beings.


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## Maurice Caine (Mar 6, 2022)

Here's my secret, I don't. Hopefully whatever bezos does to extend his lifetime indefinitely gets into my hands but that's a snowball's chance in hell.


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## HandsomeDan (Mar 6, 2022)

I'm Christian, I don't fear death.

I certainly do what I can to avoid death though as we all should.


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## LaxerBRO (Mar 6, 2022)

I wasn't afraid of the time before my birth so why should I fear the time after I exist? 

All I fear is suffering and agony that comes with a painful or violent death. If I knew I was going to die in my sleep when I am reasonably healthy, I would kind of welcome it.

Better than dying of cancer or dying slowly of the effects of Alzheimer's.


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## Fek (Mar 6, 2022)

Lord of the Large Pants said:


> Being religious sounds like it would help. Hasn't helped me.


Well, can you identify what it is about your faith that's leaving you lacking the type of answer that would grant you peace? There are plenty of answers out there, but there isn't another soul in this world who can do the work of finding it for you.

As an example, my own journey started from a completely different angle and with a very simple question: "What does it mean to love thy neighbor?"
In my efforts to answer that question (and I mean _really_ deeply thoroughly answer it), I ended up taking quite a journey (one that I'm still on, frankly). Along the way, I found my answer for why death is truly not to be feared.

Your mileage may vary.


Lord of the Large Pants said:


> It seems that there's some way to conquer that fear. I just wish I knew what it was.


Try poking at the borders you've constructed with your beliefs. Fear (in this context) usually comes from a place of ignorance, so you may wish to test those borders and see how they might be strengthened. In doing so, perhaps your fear of death will also be alleviated.



Spoiler: And now for something completely different






Prophetic Spirit said:


> You're just confused.


I might be.


Prophetic Spirit said:


> I'm atheist at this point but i'm not afraid of death.


Nice, how'd you accomplish that?


Prophetic Spirit said:


> I just pray


>atheist
>pray

You're right, I am a little confused.


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## Moderna (Mar 6, 2022)

I was four when I learned that I and everyone I know will eventually die but didn't fully realize the weight of that until seven or eight. Weirdly, the idea of my parents dying always bothered me more than the idea of me dying. I used to stay up at night crying about the idea of living in a world without them and watching them get older has been difficult for me. To this day I have no idea how people are able to function after losing a parent.

I've never been religious but have heard stories about dying people seeing loved ones who have already passed and talking to them as if they were actually there in the room and hell, the universe is already bizarre beyond anything we could possibly imagine so there may very well be something resembling an afterlife. My personal theory, though, is that being dead feels like not having been born yet. I find comfort in the fact that I've experienced that before and it wasn't so bad.


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## AMHOLIO (Mar 6, 2022)

I take it one day at a time.  I think about actions to do to make my life easier and focus on my goals.  I do my best to help and be nice to people because it brings me genuine happiness and I like the idea of making other's lives here on this planet marginally nicer even for five seconds.  I figure if I do whatever is my best in life, I'll be more at peace with death.  I'll be more pissed, panicked, and fearful for dying early or due to something unavoidable, but I have to occupy myself with my actual goals on this earthly plane until that happens.  And if it happens, I did my best to make me and my social circle's lives better, even though I'd be devastated like anyone else.  But until then, my fear of death should not drive me, my love for the pleasures and joys of life should.  Studying, friends, family, hobbies, exploring small and large towns, driving through countrysides, eating a tasty blackberry, meeting nice animal friends... there's a lot of things to focus on that will help me and others.  You'll always come up short in life, but it is how it is.

I also agree with @Kari Kamiya .  That mothrafucker has the right ideas.  I've met old folks with the same sentiment and I understand the more I learn about aging, and try not to begrudge it, just make sure their time until then is marginally less sucky.


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## Suburban Bastard (Mar 6, 2022)

Idk man, browsing this site kinda makes me wanna die


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## Vingle (Mar 6, 2022)

Things aren't going to get better you are obsessing of it. I'm aware of it, and the fact that I'm most likely to be one of those cases were an elderly person dies alone. And only gets found when the neighbours complain about the foul smell.

It's sad, but hey. What can you do.


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## Butter Keks (Mar 6, 2022)

I was in a car accident and hit my head, rendering me comatose for longer than two weeks. Looking back on it, being "off" (so to speak) was not a bad thing. The lost time never bothered me and not having a recollection of anything good or bad happening is oddly comforting. If I never woke up from it I wouldn't even know. The worst part about death is the leadup to it. Just hope you don't see it coming.

Also imagine that death is a smoking hot titty waifu that desperately wants you.


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## Dutch Courage (Mar 6, 2022)

Funny, I was also 23 when I finally got it too.  23 seems to be when you realize shit's real, with all that portends.  Later in life, I came to the realization that I was far more upset about the fact that loved ones get old and die more than about my own death.

But cowering from death is a 'tarded way to live, in the literal sense of the word.  If nothing else, it offers a compelling reason to grow up; it sucks to die without accepting life first.

Just fit as much as you can into life while you are still young enough to do so, and not only will you be too busy to dwell on mortality, you'll accrue memories that will enable you to say "I'm glad I did that in my life". And try not to fuck too many people over in life, because they will haunt you in later years. 

And religious or not, just assume that we understand nothing about death really, or time itself.  So, at least you embark on a great mystery voyage at the end.  It it happens to be to oblivion, you'll never know it.  If it goes anywhere else, you are already winning.


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## Afinepickle (Mar 6, 2022)

I struggle with this a lot personally. It's not the idea of pain or suffering or even dying slowly that gets to me so much though I personally find the idea of Alzheimer's specifically horrifying.

It's more the existential fear of the nihil, of the cessation of all experience.

To date nothing has really eased that fear and unease I have for that all that much, not even religion/spirituality. That nagging fear of the complete cessation of the state of existence.

So I guess for me the answer is that I mostly don't and whenever the thought of it creeps into my head I have little internal panic attacks that last until the thought leaves my head.


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## Disheveled Human (Mar 6, 2022)

I remember getting a bad flu one year and I felt so sick I didn't care if I died so the mind can embrace death. As for a quick and sudden death like an accident you get flooded with adrenaline and feel less pain. Just don't get tortured to death and its probably not that bad. Personally the more and more I get older I fear people I love dying around me more then myself dying.


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## Chaos Theorist (Mar 6, 2022)

I'm not scared of death just of the pain before death.

Death would be a release from this flesh prison.


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## PaulBearer (Mar 6, 2022)

By accepting that it must happen, as it has happened to billions before me.


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## Battlecruiser3000ad (Mar 6, 2022)

I used to stress about it but after a near-death experience it went away
I'm still a big coward and afraid of agony tho


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## Doctor Ivo Robotnik Sr. (Mar 6, 2022)

I was less fearful of death as an atheist than as an agnostic. I think the uncertainty scares me more then anything else. 

Read arguments outside of the 20th century about it.


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## ARghEAT (Mar 6, 2022)

It could be because of your attachment to life and living. As humans, we are programmed to avoid loss and our body itself makes us feel pain when we lose something that we value a lot - a loved one, a big opportunity, etc - the most valued usually being your own life. By realising this, you might see things differently.

Also, what happens after death may as well be completely arbitrary (as long as it satisfies certain conditions) so there's no use in worrying about what will happen in death because you'll have no way to predict what will happen or plan for it - for all you know, the god presiding over the universe punishes people for not eating spaghetti or something.


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## PaleTay (Mar 6, 2022)

I just hate most people and it would be something new, in most afterlifes I won't have to commute or work. I'll get everything interesting done before I die, besides ridiculous things like finding mythical items or creatures.


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## Golly (Mar 6, 2022)

I don't want to die and I take steps to avoid an untimely demise, so I fear death to that capacity. Beyond that though, at least while I'm reasonably young, I'm comfortable with knowing I have little to no control of my moment of death because the actual experience of dying is short and trippy. In the meantime, all I can do is find balance between living a life that is authentic to my desires, and doing my best to not be a net drain on humanity. That way, whatever happens after, whether it's oblivion or some kind of afterlife, I can be at peace knowing I've at least tried.

The death of those I love is what upsets me far more as a concept. I don't handle grieving well. The only answer I have at the moment is to try not to dwell on it.


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## A Rastafarian Skeleton (Mar 6, 2022)

Italian gravediggers during the plague had a saying: Those who live in fear die!


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## Prophetic Spirit (Mar 6, 2022)

Fek said:


> >atheist
> >pray
> 
> You're right, I am a little confused.


It's my way to say: "i can't decide my own death with accidents since just happens"


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## BelUwUga (Mar 6, 2022)

I've been blessed with some bad luck that has lead to me having the nickname "Garfield" because I seem to have 9 lives like a cat. I've almost died too many fucking times now. That said, a silver lining is it has given me a unique perspective in that I see my time as a bit of a "bonus" now. By I rights I should be buried in the ground several times over now, but I'm not so I might as well make the most of it. None of us are making it out of this alive friend.

Edit: as far as clinging to life- at a certain point you're either going to lose consciousness control or you won't. The pain will still be there and pushing to survive is equally as intolerable as simply letting it happen. I also thought about how sad it would make my mom to bury me. That brought a lot of motivation when I needed it.


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## Poppavalyim Andropoff (Mar 6, 2022)

I don’t fear death … death fears me


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## wtfNeedSignUp (Mar 6, 2022)

Just don't think about it, that's the only thing you can do. The only alternative is to delude yourself into thinking there is an afterlife.


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## Weeb_Killer (Mar 6, 2022)

With humour and levity. Treat it with the same indifference you probably treat living. 

Aside from that, best thing you can do is live as healthily as possible, so that when death comes, it comes sudden.


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## weegrumpy (Mar 6, 2022)

I’ve known death for a long long time. I lost my mum at nineteen to breast cancer, and dad no so long after. I’ve had the privilege in my career as a CSW, and RN of trying my goddamn best to provide the easiest and most comfortable deaths to patients.
i used to have a terror of death, and now, I’m ambivalent to the idea of my own. I had depression so hard I wasn’t afraid, and I’ve enjoyed life with bringing up my sons, that I’m scared. I only find comfort in common sense that thus is the nature of the cycle of life. I know what my wishes are to do with this wee aging body is done. 
there is so many methods these days of funerals. I’d like to be carbonised into a diamond, which gives me comfort that in some form, that a part of me would be around forever.Heh don’t judge I like shiny things lol.
id like to say to OP as you get older, you‘ll find your own ways of coming to terms with your own mortality. Live your life in the now, try to enjoy what you do have. My mum always said that there’s folk out there that have it worse than you.
look into it and reasearch any information, the more you know.
as for the current situation, I wish there were words to comfort you. Hope and copuim are all i suggest. Or grab your favourite vice or alcoho, put your brain on pause for a short time and enjoy


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## Massa's Little Buckie (Mar 6, 2022)

I get very anxious.

I'm anxious now. Thanks OP!


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## Techno Angel (Mar 6, 2022)

I like to simply let go and appreciate what will remain once I am gone. Buddhist philosophy has really opened my mind when it comes to thinking this way, in my opinion.
We are so obsessed with ourselves that we attach our ego to superficial ideas and materialistic concepts. But in the big cosmic show of the universe, it all is bullshit. There was _*nothing *_when you were born, then over the years as your brain developed, you began to perceive your now and it's illusion of reality. Then, you are dead, and will return to that inconceivable void, null of pleasure and pain- true reality. This thought alone frightened me a lot before, and honestly it should. But I think once you inherently understand the things that make you suffer, then death almost becomes welcoming. 
The beauty and pleasure of life will still be seen and experienced by the people who will live beyond you, as it is not going away any time soon, even in times of hardships. Be happy for other people's happiness, and if you train your mind enough to think this way, I believe you will die living yourself through others.
I dunno, I took Buddhism in college and now I think I'm enlightened or some shit (obv not). I am sure I'd fear death once it is right in front of me, but why should I worry about things that I cannot control. Hopefully what I said made sense.


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## The Curmudgeon (Mar 6, 2022)

I accept death as a natural and inevitable event. On the same note, I'm okay with eternal oblivion. I'm grateful to be alive and I want to live my life to the very end, but I understand that everything has an expiration date.

I don't fault anyone else here for believing in an afterlife. Personally, I don't want an afterlife, but maybe that's just me.


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## Dysnomia (Mar 6, 2022)

When I was seven I almost died from a combination of pneumonia and strep. If I hadn't got to the hospital that night I wouldn't be here right now. I spent a week severely ill in the hospital I was born in. I could have quite literally died where I had been born. A priest came to see me. It was pretty bad.

I've never been too attached to myself. Even as a small child I was very introverted and not very interested in me as a concept. This life just feels like a truck stop or something. By the time I was four I was already questioning my existence. Like how I can even be there.

And while I didn't understand death too much as a seven year old I did know that it meant you didn't wake up or come back. My mom was heavily into that end of the world stuff Hal Lindsay wrote books about. So from a young age I thought that we'd be nuked by Russians anyway. Years later I thought back to my near death experience and figured I already tasted it once and was spared. It doesn't seem like there was any grand reason for this. If I did something that was important or haven't yet... Yeah. Who knows. Things like that might not actually look too earth shaking at face value.  If there was a reason you didn't die from something that reason might not even be obvious to you at all. You might not be meant to know. I think it's better if you don't know. You should instead find real mortal meaning in your life instead of focusing on some grand plan from the universe. Otherwise you miss the whole point of having an individual life.

I do believe in reincarnation. But I think that it's like general anesthesia. Blink out/blink in.

If I die I die. It's ok because whatever reason I was here would have been concluded in that moment anyway.


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## Lunar Eclipse Paradox (Mar 7, 2022)

Before becoming Christian again in 2018. One day in February 2017 I had to same experience as you and I really became worried about death. I've come to realize that Atheist's interpretation of death is so denigrating and pessimistic. An end where nothing and nothing happens. I'm happy from what the signs I have been seeing from the occult to the remains of the tower of babel is that this will never be the case. I honestly do think reincarnation is worse than death. Heaven is the only refuge from all these problems. But even if death is eternal oblivion, in many way's it's kind of better than life. But to me it's impossibly not because I want it to be impossible but because I am convinced it is impossible. Don't get me wrong. I am grateful that I get to live life and explore it's possibilities and it's beauty and it's always tampered with problems. I remember at a trip in Mexico in 2021. I met with people who were in their 60s and we talk about heaven and how beautiful and exciting it would be. There is a reason why the most hardcore Christians don't fear death. Being able to relax in a permanent renaissance is one I'll be in line for. So I totally accept death as a part of life. The only thing I worry about is if I die a really painful one. I remember my father told me about someone who jumped in the tracks of the Calgary Metro and told me he died a really painful death. Right next to the hospital I was treated for anxiety.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Mar 7, 2022)

I'm scared to death by the prospect of the cessation of me. I didn't evolve the ability to understand that I'm the main character for nothing. The ego exists, it exists for a purpose, and that purpose is to keep my corporeal form alive. If I am wrong, then truly this is a universe born out of pure malice and spite directed towards all life. I will leave the mortal coil kicking and screaming because I am simply too important to go.

Religion has made this worse for me. I try to be a Christian, and largely due to the fact that Atheists provide extremely poor answers to the eternal questions of life, by comparison. I do not want them to be right. Frankly, I don't really want most religions to be right either, because they are very confusing and disjointed in places. I might never know what it feels like to be one of those people who look like they're having an orgasmic experience in a pew row while reaching their hands up to touch god while some christian contemporary rock hits an audience participation point. It has always looked ridiculous, but I envy them. The alternative is that Reddit is right, and it truly isn't worth trying to improve yourself, because we're all gonna be dust, Morty. If the afterlife has any possibility of existing, I want a part of it, because it means I will have some kind of continuity.

Back to the concept of death itself, I can say this from the bottom of my heart, and with complete confidence; Nobody who says that "death is beautiful", "death is just a part of life", or any variant thereof, believes their own bullshit. Not a single fucking one. All of that is a cope. Death is objectively the worst thing that can happen. It's the end of _being. _Even prospects of an afterlife are of extremely little comfort. It isn't that the absence of being is unfathomable, it's that it's fucking horrible.

There is no way to rectify this, and anyone who is made truly aware of it will never know a moment of peace for the rest of their lives.



Apochrypha said:


> Why would you be scared of something that is out of your control?



Probably because it is the most ancient instinctual fear and a million billion years of evolution can't be wrong.


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## Osmosis Jones (Mar 7, 2022)

ArnoldPalmer said:


> Back to the concept of death itself, I can say this from the bottom of my heart, and with complete confidence; Nobody who says that "death is beautiful", "death is just a part of life", or any variant thereof, believes their own bullshit. Not a single fucking one. All of that is a cope. Death is objectively the worst thing that can happen. It's the end of _being. _Even prospects of an afterlife are of extremely little comfort. It isn't that the absence of being is unfathomable, it's that it's fucking horrible.


Why wouldn't anyone believe their own bullshit on that? Do you honestly believe there are no worse things in life - no torture too severe, no rape too humiliating, no chronic suffering of the mind, heart, body, or soul - that can make death seem like a beautiful or desirable event? I think what you're saying here is the true cope. You can only be certain of your own fears. Your certainty that everyone else fears death is to your own comfort. Death isn't hard to imagine, only hard to perceive. You can imagine a 'before' and there will be an 'after'. 

Death isn't so horrible. It happens one time, you essentially fall asleep and probably dream or hallucinate for a while (based on natural death and our assumptions based on research) and then you just don't wake up again. I won't assume it's painless or even comfortable but I've seen people die natural old age deaths too, and it doesn't seem like it's particularly horrible. I can think of a thousand things right off the top of my head that would be worse than just dying outright.


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## ArnoldPalmer (Mar 7, 2022)

Me? I'm Tight As Fuck said:


> Why wouldn't anyone believe their own bullshit on that? Do you honestly believe there are no worse things in life - no torture too severe, no rape too humiliating, no chronic suffering of the mind, heart, body, or soul - that can make death seem like a beautiful or desirable event?



Under the proviso that you have an able body and mind, no, I don't think there's anything worse than death. Loss of function is different, but death is neither beautiful, nor desirable. It's just the next best thing to what you're dealing with. If you are youthful and complete, then death is objectively the worst thing that can happen. If you're not, you were barely alive anyway.


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## Roast Chicken (Mar 8, 2022)

I feel anxious about any pain that may come before, but as for death itself? Ahh, an earthy blanket will cover me forever and a slab of stone will be my headboard. 'Tis but a dreamless, uninterrupted sleep.


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## Pheenbean (Mar 8, 2022)

I get what your saying. After I lost my daughter tragically , i stopped fearing the process of death . I looked it intimately in the eyes and that kinda took the edge off of it for me . what I fear now though is the people I leave behind . I am not ego driven enough to think I am not replaceable ...but i hate the thought of people grieving me ...being in pain from my loss....i am not sure how to conquer that one .....


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## Stoneheart (Mar 8, 2022)

Im just not smert enough for thinking about it.


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## Isaac (Mar 10, 2022)

"We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

When we die, we are simultaneously killed and born. I am going to die, and I'm going to lose everything. After death, I will both be truly myself and nothing of myself. 

We are composed of silt and sand and as we are washed in the Blood of The Lamb, the Blood shall drain and the precipitate shall remain. 

Death is Foxist, and very good.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 10, 2022)

If there's no afterlife, one won't know it because there won't be the ability to experience the lack of experience.

If there's a good afterlife, then it's a good afterlife.

Hopefully no hell like "eternal recurrence", "reincarnation", nor "traditional hell" follows death. Speaking of, I heard the odd idea floating around that the tunnel with the light at the end of it - as seen in "near death experiences" - is really a "soul trap" that makes anyone who falls for it reincarnate, with prayer being the way out.



Solar Eclipse Paradox said:


> I honestly do think reincarnation is worse than death.


Given enough lives, any horrible thing that could happen would happen. One could be born to be a lolcow and/or a child molester.

And who really wants to be trapped in this limited world of decay and suffering over and over and over?


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## Therapy Dog (Mar 10, 2022)

I don't fear my own death at all, but I do fear losing people I care about deeply (and frankly, there are only so many of _those_). That said, I appear to be very non-chalant about death in general and have been for a long time; I remember feeling very awkward at my grandfather's funeral because I didn't appear to be anywhere near as broken up as those around me, especially my brother and my cousins, all of whom were crying or were at least teary-eyed. I find funerals to be extremely odd and uncomfortable. I was about 13 at the time.

My grandmother passed recently, but she suffered from dementia and... wasn't really the person we knew at all. I was relieved that she was dead, since she frankly wasn't really "living" any kind of life at all.

I'm not religious in the slightest (which may explain some of the above), so the way I view it is that I'm literally an expert at being dead, because before I was born, I was in the exact state of non-existence for approximately 13.6 billion years, or whatever the current consensus of the age of the universe is. 

Joking aside, I view it in the exact same way as I do being asleep or unconscious.

All of that said, I'm not a psychopath or a sociopath or anything, I feel empathy etc. but I feel empathy BECAUSE I know a living, conscious person is capable of suffering and feeling pain. Dead ones aren't.


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## Mayor Adam West (Mar 10, 2022)

God and whiskey. I don’t fear death, but I do fear how I’ll die. But if you give me whiskey and let me go to confession first, maybe also say goodbye to the ones I love or at least leave a message, I’ll gladly go on a suicide mission so long as it’s for a good cause.


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## Wesley Willis (Mar 11, 2022)

By saying nigger as much as I can.


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## Cilleystring (Mar 11, 2022)

As far as death itself goes, I actually find it peaceful. It's a release from all your worries, traumas, concerns, and anxieties. I think of it being similar to sleeping in a comfy bed at the end of a long busy day, where you were very productive and had a bunch of ups and downs, just exhausted and happy to finally get some rest. 

With that said, I agree with those that say they're afraid of a slow painful death (such as cancer). I'm sure many of us have seen family or friends suffer through that, and have seen how terrible it is even for those people who were in good spirit throughout it. 

The physical act of dying and the uncertainty of how it will happen can be unsettling, but conceptually leaving this world is not so bad. For non theists, most of us believe you don't have consciousness, so you don't know you're dead anyway. Just a black peaceful void. For theists you go to whatever heaven (or whatever you call it in your religion) as long as you arent a chomo, so that sounds alright to me if that's how it is. 

Anyway, those of you concerned, just make the best of your time here. Shitpost, laugh at lolcows, and have fun.


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## Fools Idol (Mar 11, 2022)

I take comfort in the fact that everyone else will die too.


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## Muh Pez Dispenser (Mar 11, 2022)

I've been an avid reader of 'Near Death Experience' books over the years. Some of the authors I have read are  Kenneth Ring, Michael Newton, and Elizabeth Kubler Ross, to name a few. Also, I follow some youtubers who interview people who have "died" and come back to tell the tale. Some experiences are heavenly, beyond human comprehension, while others sound hellish. 

So, after years of aggregating and compiling testimonials, I feel like there's gotta be something there. A lot of times, these folks when out-of-body can later repeat things they heard and saw, while technically dead. Things like conversations between doctors and family members; in once instance, the person was privy to a convo nurses were having about what they would have for lunch that day. But get this,  the nurses station was quite a ways away from the OR the person was in, and under normal circumstances, they would not have been able to hear that conversation. 

So, yeah, it's mostly anecdotal stuff and irl I tend to shy away from having these convos with people. I am usually met with ridicule and mockery when I've mentioned this subject in the past.

I don't think that our society is ready to really dig deep on this one. Maybe in due time. The populace is still so shallow and seem to be more concerned about the next iphone release. Depressing.

As an addendum: if you wanna get really out there with this stuff, look into the 'reincarnation soul trap matrix', a theory that posits the Earth is a realm/dimension which is enclosed by an electrical grid, from which we can't escape; thus, creating the trap of reincarnation, whereby we keep coming down here, lifetime after lifetime, our memories from previous lives wiped and doomed to repeat our "karma", until we get it right.


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## 5ever a crab (Mar 11, 2022)

Being scared of the unknown is natural, so yeah I'm pretty scared of death. Another thing I was (and still a bit scared of to be honest- but that might be just me being more younger) is potentially losing my memories when I go into "the next life". One thing I say to myself is that "when one journey ends, another begins"; this thought has been doing a good job to keep my anxieties low. 


Also here's a way to deal with anxiety in an optimal way. This method is to create a balance where it that doesn't let you bottle your feelings up, nor does it force you to dwell on your anxieties for too long.


Spoiler: tl;dr on how to deal with anxiety




Get a journal and schedule a time where you will dwell on your anxiety, usually takes 10 to 20 min, but should be no longer than 1 hour.
Then ponder at the anxious thoughts you had that day. Make a list of them. 
Then under that list, make a horizontal line and 'challenge' those thoughts. 
(Optional) Write down your anxiety level and your anxiety management level (in terms of how well you think you managed your anxiety.
So far it does a fantastic job on keeping muh mental health managed. This way you can spend 23.5 hours doing the things you want in life as opposed to freaking out 24/7. The PDF is attached that has more info on this stuff.


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## Wintersun (Mar 11, 2022)

I fear dying without a cause, without dying for something. I don't fear death, it's the natural conclusion to a life, I only fear a wasted life.


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## Lord of the Large Pants (Mar 11, 2022)

Fek said:


> Well, can you identify what it is about your faith that's leaving you lacking the type of answer that would grant you peace? There are plenty of answers out there, but there isn't another soul in this world who can do the work of finding it for you.
> 
> As an example, my own journey started from a completely different angle and with a very simple question: "What does it mean to love thy neighbor?"
> In my efforts to answer that question (and I mean _really_ deeply thoroughly answer it), I ended up taking quite a journey (one that I'm still on, frankly). Along the way, I found my answer for why death is truly not to be feared.
> ...


I don't know if there are any answers that would help me. I've never had any confidence that humans are capable of answering the big questions with any level of certainty. I know what I believe, and I can go through all the reasons for why. But I have to be the first to admit that I don't really KNOW anything, regardless of any compelling logical arguments. That just seems to be my nature.


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## Fek (Mar 11, 2022)

Lord of the Large Pants said:


> But I have to be the first to admit that I don't really KNOW anything, regardless of any compelling logical arguments. That just seems to be my nature.


Hey, man..that already puts you ahead of most. The more one finds out? The less one "knows". At least you're being honest about it. Wish I could help you more, but if you're truly compelled by this need? You _will_ find your answer in due time. Have some faith, and don't be afraid to overturn some proverbial stones seeking answers. Belief and intent are everything.


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## janedoe (Mar 15, 2022)

i'm not _that _afraid to die beyond normal survival instincts. although when i had covid i was more worried about my dog not having food and water until someone found out i was dead. 

what i am more afflicted by and i don't quite know the solution to is the fear of people around me dying. i'm at the age where people who were adult figures in my life are dropping like flies. several of my friends have lost both their parents already, and i am in a constant state of dread that something will happen to my family members.
death is natural, and something i have accepted, and yet i'm so afraid of losing people i love. it keeps me up at night sometimes and i have a lot of paranoid intrusive thoughts about it.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 15, 2022)

Muh Pez Dispenser said:


> So, after years of aggregating and compiling testimonials, I feel like there's gotta be something there. A lot of times, these folks when out-of-body can later repeat things they heard and saw, while technically dead. Things like conversations between doctors and family members; in once instance, the person was privy to a convo nurses were having about what they would have for lunch that day. But get this, the nurses station was quite a ways away from the OR the person was in, and under normal circumstances, they would not have been able to hear that conversation.


See, this is where I'm at too, but here's the problem: most of what others encounter on the other side, I have absolutely no interest in. No body? That fucking sucks! That means no earthly pleasures. Unlimited, unending bliss? How boring! Why would I find that anymore to my liking than undying hatred or limitless, endless amounts of any other emotion? Reuniting with loved ones? What loved ones? I had a grand total of two people in my life I am still absolutely sure after all these years really knew the meaning of the word, and they're both dead and would prolly be disappointed in how I turned out (neither were my mom or dad, FYI).

So I'm sorta in this weird dilemma where I'm pretty sure there's some sort of afterlife (that's not hell or purgatory) but find what's described therein completely unappealing.


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## Bezmenov (Mar 15, 2022)

Having almost died at various points in my life (most recent was 2 years ago after a pretty crazy workplace accident that I was _incredibly_ lucky to have survived) I eventually came to realize that it can (and will) come at any time, any place and that I ultimately have no control over it.  So there's no real point in worrying about it happening because of its inevitability, if anything it motivates me to live more and try and do more with my life so that when it does come I can at least have a moment to think about the good stuff I got to do in my life, be it travelling, spending time with loved ones, etc. before it's lights out for good.


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## Petronella (Mar 15, 2022)

I don't fear death, I fear dying without having fully lived. Cliche, I know.


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## Some Badger (Mar 16, 2022)

Most of my anxiety towards death comes from whatever is waiting for me on the other side. I have no idea what to expect, and that's what makes me uneasy. Will I be put on trail and have every action I made in my life be scrutinized and audited by a tribunal of divine judges? Will I wake up in Hell? Will I be reborn into new life with my slate wiped clean? Or will I simply return to a state of nothingness as it was before I was born? The agony comes from spending your entire existence not knowing for sure you experience it.

Maybe it's because I lost two grandparents before I reached first grade, but my lifelong fascination and anxiety with death is more focused on the possibility of an afterlife than the act of dying itself.


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## JosephStalin (Mar 16, 2022)

We all die.  It isn't that we die, but that we lived.  

Have already faced death when I got the diagnosis of aortic stenosis about thirteen years ago.  Unless treated by heart valve replacement, nearly always kills.  Sometimes the only time it's known someone actually had aortic stenosis is during an autopsy.  

Didn't fear death so much as I feared leaving the family behind, maybe never seeing kids getting married and having their own kids.    Woke up the morning of the surgery wondering if today was going to be my last day on Earth.  Got cleaned up.  Son came in around 3 a.m., had driven all night after working all afternoon/evening.  Didn't ask him or his sister to come.  Simply could not tell them I was scared and I needed them.  

Son took wife and me to hospital.  Got prepped for surgery, IV started.  Next thing I know, am waking up 36 hours later intubated in ICU, lots of tubes going in and out of me.  See wife, son and a pal, gave a thumbs-up.  I was alive.  

Recovered quickly, tubes started coming out, left ICU for regular room,  then home.  That was almost ten years ago.  Got to see both kids married, got to see grandchildren come along.  

It is only natural to fear the unknown.  In the end, all one can do is live the best life they can and trust in God.     

Have faced death on another occasion previous to the heart stuff, but this one was up close and personal.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 16, 2022)

Muh Pez Dispenser said:


> I've been an avid reader of 'Near Death Experience' books over the years.


I prefer to think of near death experiences as hallucinations, or at best spiritual visions. NDEs can contradict eachother. Even in the same culture.

Hallucinatory Near-Death Experiences » Internet Infidels (archive)

Penn and Teller also did a debunking of NDEs on "Penn & Teller: Bullshit!" awhile back. A tl;dw is that it's oxygen deprivation, with the example of NDE-like experiences training pilots may have in a centrifuge.

Also that creepy "being of light" or "pure unconditional love" in the tunnel of typical Western NDEs creeps me out. Always wants something from the NDEr.



> reincarnation


"Reincarnation" really is another form of hell to me. Not as bad as "the lake of fire", but it's still BS. "Paying karmic debt" by suffering misery in another life is also BS. It's like an asshole hitting a dog with a newspaper for something the dog did last week and doesn't remember. It doesn't fix the problem that caused the "bad karma", and it can creates more "bad karma" and thus suffering. Like a murderer getting killed in another life by another murderer. To me, "karma" is revenge, not "justice".

I like the books "The Case Against Reincarnation" by James Webster, and "Reincarnation: A Critical Examination" by Paul Edwards.


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## Sweetpeaa (Mar 16, 2022)

Life has taught me there are worse things than death. I used to be afraid of dying as a teenager but that all changed in adulthood as I went through many trials. I do have fears but none of them are death related, at least not for myself.

You will suffer far more in this life than you ever will in death. Death is a rest. I don't advocate suicide, that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm simply trying to get across that life is our hardest test.


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## Ona Quest (Mar 16, 2022)

Death is cool. I don't fear death and I definitely don't worship it--though i do enjoy the earthy feel of graveyards--but I am at peace with it. Death is just death. I have never understood why people are so anxious over dying. Once I'm dead, I can just sleep and people can just leave me a lone.


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## Bonedome (Mar 16, 2022)

Gonna powerlevel but I lost the love of my life recently and I can't say I do anymore. Fucking life seems pointless now.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 16, 2022)

ToroidalBoat said:


> I prefer to think of near death experiences as hallucinations, or at best spiritual visions. NDEs can contradict eachother. Even in the same culture.
> 
> Hallucinatory Near-Death Experiences » Internet Infidels (archive)
> 
> ...


My kingdom for a "Euphoric" rating.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 16, 2022)

NewRetroVagina23 said:


> My kingdom for a "Euphoric" rating.


lol

I like to believe the afterlife is like that of New Church ("Swedenborgian") theology, rather than oblivion.

(A realm of "externalized inner reality" as David Staume once put it, that's "more real" than the physical.)


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## Kaede Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 16, 2022)

try almost dying. it reframes everything and really takes the edge off.
imo there are so many thing worse than death and anyone fixating on the inevitable is misguided.


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## Ow The Edge (Mar 16, 2022)

Little pl here: I almost died once. Rolled over in a car on the freeway right in front of a massive tractor trailer. It was surprisingly peaceful. Honestly, despite seeing almost certain death a few feet away from me, I was more calm than I can ever recall feeling since. It only appeared frightening in retrospect. I don't think the process of dying is so bad, and I have faith that something beautiful awaits on the other side.


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## Cup Noodle (Mar 16, 2022)

Life is dangerous.  I go to work every day knowing that I might not come home.  I almost got my killing at work five or six years back.  Three years ago a coworker did get his killing on the job.  Thankfully the worst that has happened to me so far is that I have a thumb that doesn't work right anymore.  The doctor that stitched it back together seemed surprised that it worked at all so I will take that as a win.  If I feared death I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning and lead my life.  I'd rather not die so I try to be smart and take precautions to prevent my death.  So far that is working out good.  My boss man's dad's dog died on the job this morning.  I take my dog to work too so today I've been more concerned about his safety than mine.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 17, 2022)

ToroidalBoat said:


> lol
> 
> I like to believe the afterlife is like that of New Church ("Swedenborgian") theology, rather than oblivion.
> 
> (A realm of "externalized inner reality" as David Staume once put it, that's "more real" than the physical.)


I always thought Swedenborg was kind of cool, even if his uniqueness obviously came from some sort of stroke or psychotic episode. I kinda wish I had more time to study him and William Blake.


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## Krista Sparks (Mar 17, 2022)

I personally fear more seeing my loved ones dying than myself, as I lost one of my friends around a month ago after a hiking accident, and my great-grandma have passed away by natural cause at the start of this year, this put me all in a system shock. 

I still think a lot about them, and despite how fragile my health can be (currently under treatment for my liver), I do everything to stay alive as long as possible, I have been through a bunch already in the past to not be afraid of death anymore when it comes to me. Life is never always easy.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 17, 2022)

NewRetroVagina23 said:


> even if his uniqueness obviously came from some sort of stroke or psychotic episode


People have argued the "lol he's crazy" thing before, but it's been counter-argued that the clear thinking and internal consistency of what he wrote challenges that idea.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 17, 2022)

ToroidalBoat said:


> People have argued the "lol he's crazy" thing before, but it's been counter-argued that the clear thinking and internal consistency of what he wrote challenges that idea.


And I would love to believe that, but am also pretty sure that he once argued that in heaven, people are not only married and have sex, but are monogamous and happy to live an eternity being so. That raises an eyebrow or two if you're literally interpreting what he says and you know a single thing about basic human nature.


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## ToroidalBoat (Mar 17, 2022)

NewRetroVagina23 said:


> And I would love to believe that, but am also pretty sure that he once argued that in heaven, people are not only married and have sex, but are monogamous and happy to live an eternity being so.


Swedenborg didn't say that just once, but throughout the writings. I like to believe it's possible, if one prefers marriage over sleeping around and adultery. In New Church theology, one's nature after death is changed so that what disagrees with one's "ruling love" is shed. This could mean any desire for promiscuity or adultery would be lost because it was freely rejected in life.



> basic human nature


Basic human nature isn't that great...


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## Petronella (Mar 17, 2022)

Urotsuki said:


> I personally fear more seeing my loved ones dying than myself, as I lost one of my friends around a month ago after a hiking accident, and my great-grandma have passed away by natural cause at the start of this year, this put me all in a system shock.
> 
> I still think a lot about them, and despite how fragile my health can be (currently under treatment for my liver), I do everything to stay alive as long as possible, I have been through a bunch already in the past to not be afraid of death anymore when it comes to me. Life is never always easy.


Beat me to it. My own death doesn't bother me whatsoever, but just the idea that my loved ones will be gone someday gets my stomach in knots. :x
 Though I also worry about the effect my passing would have on the people I leave behind.


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## Ita Mori (Mar 17, 2022)

Fear of death is a prime symptom of an unsatisfactory life.


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## Pocket Dragoon (Mar 17, 2022)

All I know is that they'll finally find out what's killing me after I'm dead.  I just hope my kid gets compensated, but their track record with shit like Agent Orange isn't so hot.  And honestly it kinda pisses me off that I won't know what happens, unless the religious/spiritual types are right.  It's just unfortunate I wasn't blessed with anything like blind faith.


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## murph (Mar 17, 2022)

I pray to it daily and ask it to release me but it ignores my prayers because I'm a fucking coward. If I really wanted it I know how. Everything else is just posturing.

One of these days I'll get lucky.


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## God of Nothing (Mar 17, 2022)

It really sucks to think about, but I agonize over it every once in a while. I get a moment of clarity when I realize I'm thinking about it because my life sucks, and I'm trying to take my mind off all the things I can't change by focusing it on the biggest one of all. At the end of the day, it is what it is. I can't control when or how it happens.  I know other people have accounts of calmness and others who found nothing at all yet were at complete peace with it. Really seems like the thought of it is worse than the actual thing.


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## Local Fed (Mar 17, 2022)

Regarding my own death, I don't really have strong feelings about it. I'd probably have more feelings about it if I had more going for me to worry about or people depending on me (close friendships, a girlfriend/wife, kids, etc.) but I don't. I've never really had a mentality of feeling like it's a blessing or something to be alive. Hopefully none of this reads like some goth kid's journal entry. Really I just hope that my death isn't really painful/violent or something. I'd like to go in my sleep, not have my last experience be me out shopping and hearing _"ALLAH AKBAR!"_ followed by a click. They would be a bit annoying.

What does (and has ever since I was a little kid) freak me out is knowing that the few people that I have in my life will die, and that statistically speaking the most important one will probably have between 5-10 years left; watching this person currently being sick (nothing super serious like cancer, fortunately) isn't helping things.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 17, 2022)

Pocket Dragoon said:


> All I know is that they'll finally find out what's killing me after I'm dead.  I just hope my kid gets compensated, but their track record with shit like Agent Orange isn't so hot.  And honestly it kinda pisses me off that I won't know what happens, unless the religious/spiritual types are right.  It's just unfortunate I wasn't blessed with anything like blind faith.


I know how you feel, dude. I have no hard data to back up what went wrong with my body, only educated guesses. Those will have to do, I guess: I'm tired of begging the bastards to take my symptoms seriously only to be told "lol, ur crazy!" or "Here, take these pills. Maybe they'll help? The Pharmacy Rep. was quite clear they'd help....."


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## Raoul_Duke (Mar 17, 2022)

I do fear death, but I fear a wasted life ever more so. If I cannot have a life with meaning, then I would prefer a death with the richest meaning.


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## Kermit Jizz (Mar 17, 2022)

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT,  *OH FUCK I'M THINKING ABOUT IT DRINK DRINK DRINK.* Wake up hungover, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT, DON'T THINK ABOUT IT....

That's how I cope more or less.


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## Fraiser crane (Mar 17, 2022)

By having  a shit life
I used to get panic attacks that were so bad my body would force me to run - only there is nowhere to run
Now I've had some awful stuff happen to me I don't give an actual fuck about it and kinda always want to die 
Maybe it's an age thing too


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## Atatata (Mar 17, 2022)

I consoom the bad thoughts away.
Can't think about the inevitability of death when the latest new thing is coming out.


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## Dolomite (Mar 18, 2022)

I often find myself wondering what happens after death, but I won't try to find out.


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Mar 18, 2022)

Have general anesthesia. Unlike sleeping, there is no sensation of time passing, you instantly flip from one scene to another. What is the time in between? That’s equivalent to nonexistence. Dying doesn’t feel like that but if there’s no afterlife that’s what death itself would be like.


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## Grub (Mar 18, 2022)

I did a lot of mushrooms once, like a shit ton, so many, and became convinced when the fireworks started I was going to die. My brain internally exploded and all the things that were me, my whole life, my entire past every regret and such came before my mind then shattered into dust until I was left egoless and empty yet whole at the same time. Then the fireworks started and I didn't die and I  had this profound sense of joy and purpose and meaning in life, then my brain came back without all the dourness and badness.

Then, time went on and well, life and regrets and things occur and these days I just try not to contemplate death much.


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## NewRetroVagina23 (Mar 18, 2022)

Grub said:


> My brain internally exploded and all the things that were me, my whole life, my entire past every regret and such came before my mind then shattered into dust until I was left egoless and empty yet whole at the same time. Then the fireworks started and I didn't die and I had this profound sense of joy and purpose and meaning in life, then my brain came back without all the dourness and badness.


This is the part that horrifies me. I would rather wink out like a blown lightbulb than experience any part of this.


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## Grub (Mar 18, 2022)

NewRetroVagina23 said:


> This is the part that horrifies me. I would rather wink out like a blown lightbulb than experience any part of this.


Yeah, well, there's that whole thing where they found when people die you get this massive flood of DMT in your brain, and that shit can make a single moment feel like a literal eternity. Plus the experience you have usually involves things like lifetime regrets and such...So....yeah...


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## Strong Tomato (Mar 20, 2022)

becoming religious has helped me not fear death as much as I used to.


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## Lord of the Large Pants (Mar 20, 2022)

I found something that helped me a little. Maybe not with death in general, but at least the present situation. Turns out CS Lewis wrote about this exact thing, because he wrote about everything. Well, would've preferred Chesteron, but he was already dead by the time nukes were dropped. Lewis is the next best thing though. This is an excerpt, I'm still looking for the full thing.



			
				CS Lewis said:
			
		

> In one way we think a great deal too much of the atomic bomb. ‘How are we to live in an atomic age?’ I am tempted to reply: ‘Why, as you would have lived in the sixteenth century when the plague visited London almost every year, or as you would have lived in a Viking age when raiders from Scandinavia might land and cut your throat any night; or indeed, as you are already living in an age of cancer, an age of syphilis, an age of paralysis, an age of air raids, an age of railway accidents, an age of motor accidents.’
> 
> In other words, do not let us begin by exaggerating the novelty of our situation. Believe me, dear sir or madam, you and all whom you love were already sentenced to death before the atomic bomb was invented: and quite a high percentage of us were going to die in unpleasant ways. We had, indeed, one very great advantage over our ancestors—anesthetics; but we have that still. It is perfectly ridiculous to go about whimpering and drawing long faces because the scientists have added one more chance of painful and premature death to a world which already bristled with such chances and in which death itself was not a chance at all, but a certainty.
> 
> This is the first point to be made: and the first action to be taken is to pull ourselves together. If we are all going to be destroyed by an atomic bomb, let that bomb when it comes find us doing sensible and human things—praying, working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our minds.


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## Cats (Mar 21, 2022)

I'm not scared of it, not really. Sure the concept of not existing can seem kind of spooky but I've already been there for an eternity before I was born, and it wasn't so bad.

I sometimes wish I had the ability or capacity to believe in a religion. Having such a well defined and comforting system as that must be really nice for someone who actually does truly believe it! I would only wish for the afterlife to be able to see the people and animals I love again who have died. If I believed that someday I would, maybe that would help ease some of the pain that I do experience from being almost completely sure that I won't. Unfortunately I just can't accept that it is true because it is not provable. I do hope that my deceased loved ones are at least somewhere where there is no pain for them.

I feel like I have lived enough for ten lives in my short amount of time living. It has been a wild ride and I am satisfied with how it turned out! If I died tomorrow I would be at least somewhat fulfilled.


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## the clap (Mar 21, 2022)

I like to combine my belief that there's no life after death, with my belief that I'm retarded and wrong most of the time.


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## Rungle (Mar 21, 2022)

I have made a deal with God.
I will try to not commit sin and do good deeds and he will let me into heaven.
What he doesn't know though is that when I get into heaven I will kick his ass.


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## SomeDingus (Mar 21, 2022)

Forgot it existed until you reminded me, thanks a lot.


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## Deadwaste (Mar 22, 2022)

i dont. im in a constant state of fear as a result. after all, i cant die yet. i still need to finish the witcher 3


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## YourFriendlyLurker (Mar 22, 2022)

I am kinda chill with death per se. I wasn't alive before I was born and that was ok, well it will be ok after I am alive no more. Just a dreamless slumber, like if you switch your computer off and never switch it on.  You know when I was a kid I didn't get how could it be that old ppl wanted to die, waited for even. Like my 87 granny, who isn't gravelyh  ill and still very active, she is impossibly chill about it. She just says that it's already too much and living up to 100 is not in her plans (I still hope though lol). When I was younger I didn't understand how can it be, but with age I think I begin to understand her better.


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## CatgirlTyranid (Mar 22, 2022)

I'm afraid of dying because I'm not fond of pain, but I'm not afraid of death. I know where I'm going and have strong reason to believe I know where my family will go. That was incredibly comforting during the sudden passing of my mother last year and has only cemented my faith further.


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## Ingmar Aspergman (Apr 11, 2022)

I spent a lot of sleepless nights really young worrying about this and now I’m already kind of over it but every now and then I get a quick shot of terror


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## Clout $ Monei (Apr 11, 2022)

I kill myself everyday to get used to the feeling. It's just like cold showers, the first week is hard but you get over it.


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## AmberBaker (Apr 12, 2022)

I'm afraid of dying because I don't want to say goodbye to the life where I have friends and family, where I can travel and have fun. I'm not afraid to die; I'm so scared not to be able to do things I like with people I love.
And when I start thinking about death and feeling anxiety, I think about moments I've had, about the feeling I've experienced. And it helps. I don't know how it works, maybe, I realize how many unforgettable moments I've had, and death is nothing compared to them. Here is one resource https://samplius.com/free-essay-examples/fear/ where you can read some articles about fear. There I read one article on how fear affects our life, and I can say that after reading it, I changed my attitude toward that feeling. We don't have to be controlled by fears, but we have to take them under our control and don't let them make our lives more complicated. That's what I try to do - to take my fear under controll.


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## Fentanyl Floyd (Apr 12, 2022)

Start a family? At least that way you'll know you have legacy of some sort.


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## Blobby's Murder Knife (Apr 12, 2022)

Death is the price of life. Just is what it is. I am not going to spend energy on fearing it because that does nothing to stop it. 

Death is the void where we all existed before life. I doubt an afterlife exists or if it does, it is non-specific, like in Advaita Vedanta where your sense of individuality is an illusion and you are an avatar of the universal consciousness that permeates everything.


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## Trananarama (Apr 12, 2022)

Have you ever heard of Dr. Irvin Yalom? He has written a lot on existential terror and dealing with the fear of death. He argues that it is very natural and even beneficial for a human being to experience this type of anxiety and he offers strategies for dealing with it functionally. His ideas are not new - essentially that if we are making the most out of our limited time we can more easily tolerate the fear of death. But he frames it well and puts many things into perspective. His psychology books have definitely helped a lot of people who are sick or otherwise obsessively preoccupied with death.


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## Finder (Apr 12, 2022)

Death itself doesn't scare me and while I am religious that doesn't actually change my view on it much. At worst being dead is functionally the same as being asleep or under sedation, but forever.

What does scare me? The process involved in becoming dead. I have seen some horrific suffering in my life. Truthfully most deaths aren't very pleasent, almost no one "dies in their sleep at home" randomly.


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## Local Fed (Apr 12, 2022)

I'm not afraid of death, in fact I'm fine with it coming for me at any time. I just am afraid of it being very painful and/or scary. Preferably it'll come for me in a manner that's instant and without warning; where I'm dead before I even hit the ground.

I hope, but don't really believe that there's an afterlife. I have a few people who I'd give anything to see and be with again. Hopefully we'll all arrive in the same (good) place. I'm confident that if an afterlife exists, they're in the good place.


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## thegooddoctor (Apr 12, 2022)

There is no cure for birth and death, so just enjoy what’s in between. I think all humans naturally fear death as it does seem like a frightening concept, we cannot comprehend a realm outside of our own existence, to simply live and then have your existence stop, like a watch nobody can be bothered to wind up. But than when you really think about it, what is there to be afraid of? death is simply a non-event if you cease to be, no pain no sensation, it is a state that all living beings eventually end up as, so why we should fear something out of our power and that is virtually impossible to understand from a living mind?

I want to be hopeful that some kind of other life waits for us when I draw my final breath , but if there Isn’t, well they’ll be no ‘me’ to worry about it. I don’t fear death personally  but rather how I’ll die, so many people historically have had agonisingly painful, drawn out or hopeless deaths, to have your last moments of living being in  complete agony or despair just before your existence ends, your last moments of living spent in pure agony  stretched out forever in time before your life ends permanently, now thats truly something to fear.


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## Horrorcow Death Lazer (Apr 12, 2022)

Scared of dying alone or painfully. Even more scared of what might come after. I deal with it by living my best life with the ones I love. It's all I really can do.


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## Mad Man (Apr 13, 2022)

For me it's dying painfully. Like getting my face eaten off by a dog, or being dragged and held under by an alligator until I drown, or being set on fire, or being tortured by having my dick and limbs cut off before they slit my throat. Shit like that scares me.


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## Muu (Apr 13, 2022)

You might not even know you're dying through dementia


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## Sure Thing Idiot (Apr 13, 2022)

Ive nearly died a few times and i certainly cant speak for everyone but if its incredibly painful there is a good chance your adrenline and shock will overcast the sober fears of whats next to come. I used to be terrified of cancer until some friends and family died of cancer pretty much in front of me and i dont really care anymore. Depending on the way you go, its a lot like falling asleep or passing out from being drunk, especially if youre juiced up on pain drugs. If its terrifying the fear turns into a strange calm and you accept it as that, a sort of overwhelming calm just washes over you and you somehow embrace it. I had some thoughts at first im leaving my loved ones behind, or ill never get to see my pets again, but as quickly as those thoughts manifested they were gone and I was ok with it. I feel a great deal of peace in letting go when the time comes, that we all have to do it some day, no matter how.

Acute radiation sickness is probably the worst way to go and the only remaining fear of death i have that i know of. Fuck that shit.


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## Doctor Ivo Robotnik Sr. (Apr 13, 2022)

Tbh I’m not scared of death I’m scared of hell. I come from a fairly irreligious family but I’ve found some of the arguments for god more plausible then I previously thought.


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## m0nK!$# (Apr 14, 2022)

Since we're talking about death, I'd like to share a tautological maxim with you:
_The Tautology of the Observer:_ "The observer and its objects of observation share an ontological equivalence"

What this means is to logically say, "absent the observer, absent its objects of observations *and vice-versa*".

You, being an observer, won't exist if there was nothing for you to observe and that is, in essence, the true characteristic of your conscious. If such a condition is emulated, you'll arrive to a de-facto state of death...and you've probably experienced it several times before.

When in deep sleep [in a state where you're not dreaming], do you exist? This is basically what death feels like [or rather doesn't feel]. Understanding this, you'll know that death is an old friend and a preserver of sanity. Nocturnal heavens are the realm of death and there's nothing to fear about them for you won't exist when they arrive at your doorstep.


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## Hennessy Williams (Apr 16, 2022)

The fear does strike me from time to time between hazy moments of self-medication with mystery machine levels of cannabis (which I'm not proud of before you flame me, I'm just an anxiety ridden stoner fag), although I'm convinced the best way to become accepting of death is to familiarize yourself with it. Exposure therapy. I constantly watch videos of people talking about what it's like to receive a terminal diagnosis, stop to observe vigils for dead motorcyclists on my walk to the grocery store, pay attention to older people in my life reflecting on the end, etc... 

In 2020 I did an archival project for my college where I went through the journals of a very philosophical and creative gay man who had been diagnosed with AIDS in 1990, briefly after his third time ever having sex. I've dealt with loss of family members before but this was the first time I really noticed the gravity of death in a way beyond simple unproductive existential anxiety. I would recommend reading writings from creatives you respect who are facing death.

I'm not religious but I also take solace in U.S.-Mexico border ghetto ass spiritual practice based around _Santa Muerte_ (Saint Death in English), she's a raunchy goddess of death that loves drinking, gossip, and cigars. In times of my life where I've been flirting with death and delusion by abusing drugs I've always found it comforting to have a friendly personification of death. However I haven't been able to feel as "in touch" with any of the statues I bought at the time since I've gotten sober. Call it religious awakening or drug addict retardation, but it's definitely something I look back on as having helped me through a brush with death.

Ultimately everything starts to fall apart from the moment it is created, but I definitely find solace in familiarizing myself with the experiences of the end. You technically win every battle you wage until your zenith of struggle, and that will kill you. The goal is to make the battle as easy as possible and to do enough and know enough throughout your life to wave the white flag when it's comfortable for you.


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## Fliddaroonie (Apr 16, 2022)

Death and it's inevitability is what defines living.

People are rarely scared of death. What they're scared of is the world continuing to exist without them in it.


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## Andromeda 0.2 (Apr 16, 2022)

there really is nothing to fear really, is normal for the living being to fear his own death, but remember that death is the end of experiences, so try to imagine going to bed and never coming back




I do fear death, and i'm also sure that I know exactly what will happen after we kick the bucket, that's why you need to remember, life is a gift, almost like being brought to a game, and is our job to make sure everyone gets the taste of a good life


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## Fliddaroonie (Apr 16, 2022)

OinGO! said:


> there really is nothing to fear really, is normal for the living being to fear his own death, but remember that death is the end of experiences, so try to imagine going to bed and never coming back
> 
> 
> 
> ...


That piece of music was the slice of sunshine I didn't know was missing from my evening. Thank you <3


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## MoffAlbert (Apr 16, 2022)

I don't fear death because it will be a release from my vices and freedom from my desire. My wants weigh heavily upon my conscience, and I long to be free of such worldly things.


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## Andromeda 0.2 (Apr 17, 2022)

Fliddaroonie said:


> That piece of music was the slice of sunshine I didn't know was missing from my evening. Thank you <3


Glad I made someone happy today


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## Hennessy Williams (Apr 17, 2022)

MoffAlbert said:


> I don't fear death because it will be a release from my vices and freedom from my desire. My wants weigh heavily upon my conscience, and I long to be free of such worldly things.


So you want to die because you can’t stop partying? Or is this some sort of religious trauma/guilt thing?


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## draggs (Apr 17, 2022)

Sex 

Fucking is a direct rebuke of death as fucking creates life


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## MoffAlbert (Apr 18, 2022)

Hennessy Williams said:


> So you want to die because you can’t stop partying? Or is this some sort of religious trauma/guilt thing?


I'm not really suicidal or deathly ill or anything, it's more like I've made peace with the fact I'll die some day, and it will be a weight off the people surrounding me's shoulders. It is mostly a guilt thing, I guess? I feel like I demand too much of the people around me and don't necessarily want to trouble them. I dunno, maybe I'm just thinking too hard about things. I have a tendency to overthink things.


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## mindlessobserver (Apr 18, 2022)

Honestly I think about what it would be like, or required, in order to live forever in this flesh sack and it becomes very obvious very quickly death is a mercy. Setting aside the metaphysical, the social catastrophe that would occur if people could live forever would be enormous. 

Imagine eternally alive Nancy Pelosis for example. A gerontaucracy would set in very quickly leading to violent revolt by younger people who find the paths to success and power barred by the people who got there first. 

Then of course there is the soul crushing weight of memory. Eventually you would find yourself a stranger in time, and just unable to cope. Weighed down by a lifetime of memories and past traumas. I think suicide would start to seem attractive in that scenario. 

We are not meant to live forever. I believe something is waiting on the other side. But even if I did not not I would not want to live forever. That would be a cursed existence devoid of meaning and steeped in suffering.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Apr 18, 2022)

Red Hood said:


> "You can fall 60 stories, or you can slip in the shower."


A human body/life is both incredibly easy and extremely difficult to kill.


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## Law (Apr 18, 2022)

Death is a part of life. Only living things can die. In 80 years, everyone who replied to this thread will be dead. 
I wouldn't want to go to heaven, or see my loved ones again. I want a cessation of consciousness, and I'm glad that, sooner or later, I'll get it.


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## Gig Bucking Fun (Apr 18, 2022)

I was pretty wrecked by this realization during the winter of 2019. I would take a shower and just cry for a solid five minutes pondering the fact everyone I love will be dead one day. Since then, I’ve come to appreciate the fact people at the end of their lives that are aware their day is rapidly approaching come to accept it. Sooner or later, everyone needs to accept the fact death is a part of life.


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## Inu Shiba (Apr 20, 2022)

If you combine the many worlds interpretation with the simulation theory you get that we all live eternally in many incarnations through different worlds. 

So Chris is kinda right.


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## Marcus Tullius Cicero (Apr 21, 2022)

I believe that I fear it, in a subconscious sort of way. I've sometimes caught myself thinking on death, of when I'm old and grey and possibly lying in a hospital bed. I think what frightens me about it is the very end—the threshold between being alive and being dead. That one final push into eternity. And I fear there might be blackness awaiting me. Then I chide myself on thinking such is possible.

I consider myself a man of some faith, though never as much as a man ought to have. I believe there is an afterlife and that Heaven and Hell exist. Yet a doubting part of my subconscious wonders if there is nothing. I think this lingering doubt is something that's been a part of my life ever since I converted to Christianity, for I'd never given life and death much thought prior to that. It's likely a mixture of my own foolish doubts and something to do with Satan, trying to make me afraid of leaving the world. There are certain comforts to be had, though. The Word makes it very clear that death has no power over us, and that though we must suffer it for our iniquities, it nonetheless does not undo us.

So while my mind does dread the idea of dying and being met with nothing, it's best to think on what my grandmother has said. If there is indeed nothing beyond this life, then at least we might die knowing we have lived lives in service to something greater than ourselves. At least we might look back and remember those we helped, those brought ought of their affliction and pain and given an opportunity for redemption.


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## Cyanide (Apr 21, 2022)

have a dream of Death coming to "merge" with you and when you freak out cause he's faceless and holding you in outer space, he gets aggressive and plops me back on earth to live my menial moments in life, only to have Death start killing everyone around me while being pressured to accept Death's marriage proposal by one of many murderers on the street.  once my dream self say "i do." i get transported to heaven.

needless to say, i have a belief that one day Death will come for me anyways, might as well cause chaos by staying on earth a while longer.

i like flowers too.


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## MadStan (Apr 21, 2022)

Being an atheist has pretty much entirely released me of fear of Death.

Being an atheist has placed the liability of my actions squarely on my shoulders and no one else's and also the responsibility for the welfare of my family on my shoulders and not some greater being.  This gives me the incentive to do a better job and treat others better. 

The certain knowledge that I will cease to exist one day is a comfort in that it is even more critical I do a good job and leave something positive for my family.

I think the pain of death and the discomfort it brings - as I witnessed with my own 2 parents should be viewed as uncomfortable but the inevitable cost of the wonderful virtue of living.  Death is painful and unpleasant but there are many things in life that are unpleasant but we accept them in exchange for something else.

It is not a fear of death you have. It is a fear of not existing. And if you live with fear, then you aren't really existing at all - you are already dead waiting for the event of death to confirm your fear and release you from it.

Fear of death is sometimes the fear of existing; for those who live without fear are really the only ones truly living.


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## Secret Asshole (Apr 21, 2022)

Well, when you have suicidal ideation for nearly 30 years and think of every conceivable way to do it, it numbs you.

Now, the fear of the people I love dying? Absolutely fucking terrifying.


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## TFT-A9 (Apr 21, 2022)

You stop giving Death a spot in your brain rent-free.

"I'm going to die someday!"

Everyone is.  So what? You might want to avoid unnecessarily, prematurely courting that, obviously, but beyond that? Everyone dies.  It's not in your control, at least not in the sense of complete avoidance.  If anything lies beyond the grave, it's not something we can see or prove.  If you get too wrapped up in worrying about death and if there's anything past that, you forget to actually live.


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## A Rastafarian Skeleton (Apr 21, 2022)

If you live in fear are you really living? If you let fear control your life you may live to be an old man one day sitting at home alone wishing you could go back and live life to the fullest.


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## CiaphasCain (Apr 21, 2022)

I don't give a shit about myself dying, I fear everyone I know dying and ending up alone.


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## T0oCoolFool (Apr 21, 2022)

I just try not to think about it. If you're too busy living, you don't have time to stop and dwell on the fact that no one can say for certain what happens when we die. I had periods in my life where I really feared death, and looking back, every time I was dwelling on death, it was when I had a lot of down time and not much going on in my life. Try to stay busy, OP.


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## Snack Cracker (Apr 21, 2022)

Everyone dies, no way out of that.
My only hope is that my death with be easy rather than drawn out and painful, but even if it’s the latter it’s not like I’ll be around to contemplate it.

Every day could be the last one so I try to be happy about life.


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## beet644 (Apr 21, 2022)

I think about it for 30 seconds I get a bit sad then I go back to what I was doing and get happy again.


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## Suikafag (Apr 23, 2022)

I fear not death itself, but rather what comes after.

Will there be heaven? Hell? Purgatory? Will I just cease to exist? As humanity currently stands we cannot confirm, for as we have not once actually revived the dead. Perhaps we have had people who temporarily ‘died’ and then came back but thats not true death. And that is what makes it scary. We cannot confirm what happens after *IF* anything happens after. Therefore we humans have no clue on what lies beyond and realistically we never will. We can theorize all we want but an actual proper answer will never come.


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## Groon (Apr 23, 2022)

Actually i think immortality is scarier than death itself.


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## DiggieSmalls (Apr 23, 2022)

i think "at least furries die too" and its a comforting thought. One day I wont exist anymore, but so wont the furries.


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## LonesomeDud (Apr 23, 2022)

Because through the mercy of Jesus Christ, I've been born again to better serve my fellow man.  Someday my body will die, but what I've been given lives on forever.


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## OlderSocks (Dec 19, 2022)

Grub said:


> Yeah, well, there's that whole thing where they found when people die you get this massive flood of DMT in your brain, and that shit can make a single moment feel like a literal eternity. Plus the experience you have usually involves things like lifetime regrets and such...So....yeah...


It's merely a theory, there is not evidence for it as of now due to ethical and technical constraints.





Groon said:


> Actually i think immortality is scarier than death itself.





mindlessobserver said:


> Honestly I think about what it would be like, or required, in order to live forever in this flesh sack and it becomes very obvious very quickly death is a mercy. Setting aside the metaphysical, the social catastrophe that would occur if people could live forever would be enormous.
> 
> Imagine eternally alive Nancy Pelosis for example. A gerontaucracy would set in very quickly leading to violent revolt by younger people who find the paths to success and power barred by the people who got there first.
> 
> ...


Funny that when I was a kid the idea of ceasing to exist was a nightmare for me, but upon becoming a teenager having semi-constant nightmares about a transhumanist dystopian hellscape with de facto mandatory immortality and "You will eat the bugs" type of shit made it sound like a blessing.
My personal idea is that anyone who claims to know if there is nothing after or not is wrong, but whatever happens, it sounds better than what I saw.


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## White_N (Dec 19, 2022)

Saint Francis the Dirty has shared his wisdom with me and I will share it with you.


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## Beak Thing (Dec 19, 2022)

I'm afraid of death because I don't know what happens afterwards. It scares me thinking this is the end, that my life, emotions, my experiences and the family and friends I've loved will be completely lost when I die. And if so, what was the point of it all? 

Anyone who claims they aren't afraid of death are either in denial, complete liars, foolish braggarts chasing some stupid warrior dream, ignoramuses or insane fools, whether now or 10,000 years ago. 

I have strong confidence in an afterlife but what it is or what it consists of is far beyond my understanding.


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## Wormy (Dec 19, 2022)

Don't have it anymore. Already seen my afterlife. I worry far more about my wife and the people I care about in that respect.


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## Beak Thing (Dec 19, 2022)

Wormy said:


> Don't have it anymore. Already seen my afterlife. I worry far more about my wife and the people I care about in that respect.


It honestly terrifies me Wormy, I wish I had your confidence.


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## Wormy (Dec 19, 2022)

Realistic Elephant mk2 said:


> It honestly terrifies me Wormy, I wish I had your confidence.


I understand the feeling, believe me. I really am just lucky in that regard, not much else to it.


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## Almighty MoeBro Nation (Dec 20, 2022)

I try to rationalize it by reminding myself that I already know what death feels like. I imagine the feeling of nothingness that existed before you were born continues ad infinitum after you die, and that I shouldn't worry about it since I'll technically never know what it's like to truly be "dead" since human consciousness can't really experience that feeling


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## LeroyJenkem (Dec 20, 2022)

Spoiler: Rambling effortpost



Death was always somewhat of an abstract concept for me. Sure, I've lost people along the way, but it'd always been followed by a soft melancholy rather than proper grief. Then a few years back an ex who I'd had a very long  turbulent relationship with and who was a year younger than me died in a freak medical situation while out on the town. I had not been with her for years, and had happily moved on with the woman who is now my wife. But when the news dropped and people started DMing me and calling, it was a real shock to the system. Even if the romance is dead, short of killing your cat or something, if you share an apartment and a life with someone for long enough, you become invested in their story because it's intertwined with yours. Unfortunately in her case, she had a pretty short one.

Queue the uncomfortable emotional tailspin.

Firstly, death has a great way of ripping the rose colored glasses off of your face, grabbing you by the base of the skull, and forcing your to really examine the past. With rare objective clarity, I realized there was a lot of shit I probably should have apologized for. Her death definitely dredged up a lot of negative feelings surrounding that situation.  It was made worse by the fact she never held it against me. She wanted to be my friend. I didn't. Should've probably accepted the olive branch to get closure at the very least. 

Then, I began ruminating about the past as a whole, and how much time in my life had actually already passed came clearly into focus. Blink twice and you've already loved through a decade. Things like high school, my twenties, etc all the sudden seemed very far away. I started taking inventory of people I just fell out of talking to. Former best friends I hadn't even thought about in years because we'd just naturally drifted apart. I logged into my old Steam account even though I didn't have a gaming rig and realized some people I'd spent every day talking to when I was a teenager hadn't logged in in over a decade. Some of whom were older back then, and are probably dead now. Cracked open every old obsolete email address I could in an effort to re catalog snapshots of a now alien time in my life. I spent a lot of time trying to remember. I'd painfully realized how much I'd blurred everything together being a busy body.

Then after five months of agonizing, the grandma I was closest to passed away after a long battle with hospital borne staph and the strokes that came with it and stole her away before she even died. At that point, I became a blank slate. I shut off so I could more effectively help my dad (who was devastated and barely functioning) do horrible mundane shit surrounding death like estate liquidation and casket shopping. After we put her in the back of the hearse, I walked around the corner of the church and cried alone for five minutes. Then I went back to taking care of my dad.

I had horrible nightmares when I rarely slept. I was a mess. I was counting minutes because I didn't want anymore time to slip away without being logged. It wasn't until I ruminated about it enough that I found a weird peace in the unknown. I sort of broke myself. I'd snapped my brain by thinking about every moment for months straight to somewhat slow the passage of time. If you deal with something you're scared of for long enough and sit with it, after a while it'll cease to be scary. I began trying to treat my life like a fine meal, where I savor small bites instead of wolf it down.

Death doesn't scare me as much anymore. A friend had to explain death to his four year old when they had to put the family cat down. She asked him if it hurts to be dead, and he hit her with "do you remember anything from before you were born? No? Well then I imagine it's kinda like that". Secular yes, but definitely comforting. (And not gonna lie, I put that one in my back pocket for when I have to breech that topic with my kids first time we have to put down a pet)

The idea of not existing as a being in this universe makes me uneasy. The idea of everyone else dying first also scares the shit out of me, because almost everyone I love is older than me or unhealthier than I am. I love being alive with those I love. I love the life I've led so far, even the shitty parts. My story is mine and mine alone, and it's been a fucking ride so far. I don't want it all the meaningful, surreal, and wild experiences to evaporate. The futility of how much effort we put into our finite existence makes me feel like Rutger Hauer and his doves. You can find your way into the history books and live forever, but you're gonna need to do something really clever or really abhorrent. Art is another way to extend your influence beyond the grave, but then artistic output only has a self life of a few years unless you really strike gold with a huge idea.  And even then, it may be interpreted in a way that you didn't intend. The key to extended life is your children and grand children.  A good legacy is raising a family that remembers its history with oral tradition and heirloom keeping is the only way to live far beyond the fragility of your meat husk.


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## Hyro (Dec 20, 2022)

Ughubughughughughughghlug said:


> Have general anesthesia. Unlike sleeping, there is no sensation of time passing, you instantly flip from one scene to another. What is the time in between? That’s equivalent to nonexistence. Dying doesn’t feel like that but if there’s no afterlife that’s what death itself would be like.


Very late reply and semi offtopic but this weirdly wasn't my experience with general anaesthetic as I actually had dreams during the one time I was put under. Is it uncommon to have dreams under anaesthetic?


Almighty MoeBro Nation said:


> I try to rationalize it by reminding myself that I already know what death feels like. I imagine the feeling of nothingness that existed before you were born continues ad infinitum after you die, and that I shouldn't worry about it since I'll technically never know what it's like to truly be "dead" since human consciousness can't really experience that feeling


To be honest I never liked this perspective. I'm not religious but the idea that after dying that's it always seemed presumptuous. I don't see any particular reason why consciousness couldn't carry on in some way, take another form or at the very least re-emerge at some point even if you take an atheistic or even materialist approach.


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## Balalaika Z Bree (Dec 20, 2022)

Prayer, trusting in God's mercy.

Death is not to be feared, dying might be extremely unpleasant, but what happens afterwards and forever is what is worth fearing.
*Matthew 10:28 
Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.*


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## Table Country (Dec 20, 2022)

Dying helps. If you die, not only do you get to see what's on the other side, therefore nullifying the anxious anticipation of whether or not there's life after death, but you'll be dead so you won't have the capacity to be afraid of death.


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## PaleTay (Dec 20, 2022)

Table Country said:


> Dying helps. If you die, not only do you get to see what's on the other side, therefore nullifying the anxious anticipation of whether or not there's life after death, but you'll be dead so you won't have the capacity to be afraid of death.


I was dead or near death for a bit, and it felt like wandering through an empty forest.


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## Cyclonus (Dec 20, 2022)

"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." 

-Mark Twain


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## 56 others (Dec 20, 2022)

When youre in your early 20s, its amazing how much you dont fear death.

As ive gotten older, ive taken steps to prepare for things that could kill me. I learned to defend myself, I eat better, I practice driving and take basic extra steps to be ready for scenarios. I even watch industrial accident and car crash dash cam videos qs gay as that sounds. 

Im not so much afraid of death anymore as much i just dont want to die.


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## Butcher Pete 2 (Dec 21, 2022)

Live as well as I can for as long as I can and do the stuff I want to do. That way I die without regrets.


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## Dude Christmas (Dec 21, 2022)

If I die so be it, the world is going to hell, tbh I don't want to live in what is coming.


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## Sparkletor 2.0 (Dec 21, 2022)

I put a rag in their mouth first so I don't have to listen to them plead for their life.

Oh, you meant fear of MY death. Nevermind.


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## Boss Hawg (Dec 21, 2022)

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## Tetragrammaton (Dec 22, 2022)

honestly it depends what you see death as. its only natural to have a fear of the unknown most people have that fear as its core survival thing to be afraid of things you do not understand. which is why solar eclipses were seen as world ending events long ago.

for me i can say i am scared in a way mainly because i have a desire to see everything i can and knowing that one day somethings gonna happen to me that will prevent me from doing that does bother me. but at the same time i have seen enough to realize that there is no way to know what happens.

 you can listen to religion if you want but even that stuff is based on the stories of others.  the fact is death is the ultimate unknown you might just die and thats that but if thats the case just live your life and when it happens it happens.  

but there is also a possibility you might wake up elsewhere. maybe this is all a test and we are all gods of our own creation. maybe we have all been dead since the start and this is just an endless loop who knows.

best thing you can do in my opinion is just live life how you want and be happy. least then you can say regardless whats at the end that you made the best of the time you had here.


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## Catler (Dec 22, 2022)

Realistic Elephant mk2 said:


> Anyone who claims they aren't afraid of death are either in denial, complete liars, foolish braggarts chasing some stupid warrior dream, ignoramuses or insane fools, whether now or 10,000 years ago.


I say this in the nicest way, but you can become completely desensitized to death and the idea of death if you're around it enough.

Many healthcare professionals, especially those who deal with end of life patients, have very different views on this.


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## Beak Thing (Dec 22, 2022)

Catler said:


> I say this in the nicest way, but you can become completely desensitized to death and the idea of death if you're around it enough.
> 
> Many healthcare professionals, especially those who deal with end of life patients, have very different views on this.


Sure, but not _your_ death. Seeing someone else die is one thing but dealing with your own mortality is a whole other animal.


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## AlephOne2Many (Dec 22, 2022)

Death is one of those subjects that conjure up questions that cannot be answered practically or to a satisfactory point.

When you try to process the mass of everything in contrast to you as a singular organism, of course you're going to feel existential.

Sometimes I feel like hopeless shit, but half of it comes from over thinking on my part. I try not to do it so much these days. Especially with what I could have lost between the years 2018 through 2020.


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## SlaanyChaser (Dec 22, 2022)

I like to think the electrical signals that make up your thoughts and identity disperse into the background radiation. Ending up sort of becoming one with everything.


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