# 6/26/22 Faith Vickers's Diary Leaked



## Jack Awful (Jul 4, 2022)

*LINK TO THE OP OF THE ORIGINAL DIARY THREAD WITH SPECIFIC EXCERPTS AND THE ENTIRE DIARY UPLOADED AS PNG FILES*

Legally retarded and disgraced former janny Sam Losco merged a ton of threads together for literally no reason, making it much harder to discuss specific topics and find certain pieces of information due to KF's sub par search features.

One of the pieces of information that's now much harder to access is Faith Vickers's diary. I am making this thread so you can easily search up "faith diary" in the KF search bar and find it and to also contain future discussion about it (even if there likely won't be much).

I have no actual power on this website, but I'd recommend people create new threads for any information that Sam Losco destroyed in his infinite incompetence.

Faith was instructed to keep a diary when she was in a psychiatric hold in DC during 2020. She continued writing in it when she went back to Ralph's house. When her family came to take her back to California, the diary was left behind. Fast forward to 2022, the diary is mailed by (presumably) Amanda "Pantsu Party" Morris (presumably) at Ethan Ralph's request to fat autist samurai LARPer Ethan "The Laughing Daiymo" Hatchett.

Daiymo teased a live reading of the diary on his channel a week in advance, teasing with some excerpts from the diary. Eventually the livestream was taken down and Daiymo deleted his entire account. Faith's father Matthew "Ralph 2" Vickers had contacted Daiymo's mother who allegedly demanded he delete everything and mail the diary back, which he did. Faith received the diary back, however, Daiymo reappeared, having scanned the diary back before mailing it out.

Daiymo went on stream with """ironic""" Euro-pedophile Phantom Organization aka MKY BIZ. They read the diary in its entirety and set a donation goal of $1,000 where, if met, they would release the diary as a PDF file. Before they could, however, Faith Vickers releases it herself to prevent Daiymo and Phantom from profiting from it:



tweet
archive

It contains "implications" that Ralph enjoys getting pegged:


Spoiler






And wearing panties:


Spoiler







Notably one page is missing. The page is allegedly about how Faith is creeped out by Pantsu. Faith also literally writes like a 12 year old and it makes the relationship between her and Ralph even more creepy.


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## bravado (Jul 4, 2022)

Nice work. As much as I wanted to believe this was the nail in the coffin that the Rage Pig is a cross dressing faggot, pretty sure that’s not “panties.” It’s “Dundies,” she just writes like a child. Probably something Reethan found attractive.

Edit: Dundies as in a “Dundies” from the Office. Probably doesn’t need to be explained but just in case.


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## Incorrect Password (Jul 4, 2022)

bravado said:


> Nice work. As much as I wanted to believe this was the nail in the coffin that the Rage Pig is a cross dressing faggot, pretty sure that’s not “panties.” It’s “Dundies,” she just writes like a child. Probably something Reethan found attractive.
> 
> Edit: Dundies as in a “Dundies” from the Office. Probably doesn’t need to be explained but just in case.


Does the ralphamale like The Office? If so that could be an explanation. the "t" in "panties" looks more like a d, idk who would write their "t"s like that.


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## bravado (Jul 4, 2022)

Incorrect Password said:


> Does the ralphamale like The Office? If so that could be an explanation. the "t" in "panties" looks more like a d, idk who would write their "t"s like that.


Faith is the fan, which is to be expected with her internet access being limited to Netflix.

edit: the “d” in “dundies” also looks like the d’s through the rest of the letter. compare it to “mi vida.” 
also major lol @ casper white vickers calling her “white nationalist” pig by a spanish pet name. cochino would’ve been more apt.


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## Justtocheck (Jul 4, 2022)

To be fair and balanced, "using those new toys" can mean pretty much anything. Dildos for her or whatever. I don't see the pegging implication. What's kind of amazing is that someone can think of Ralph in that romantic way.


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## 变性黑鬼 (Jul 4, 2022)

His go-to insult is "faggot" and he always says it with such vitriol. I wonder if it's projecting.


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## Tism the Return (Jul 4, 2022)

Justtocheck said:


> To be fair and balanced, "using those new toys" can mean pretty much anything. Dildos for her or whatever. I don't see the pegging implication. What's kind of amazing is that someone can think of Ralph in that romantic way.



The idea that Ralph goes about his day whimpering like a bloated puppy is pretty funny.


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## Justtocheck (Jul 4, 2022)

Justtocheck said:


> To be fair and balanced, "using those new toys" can mean pretty much anything. Dildos for her or whatever. I don't see the pegging implication. What's kind of amazing is that someone can think of Ralph in that romantic way.


Now that I think about it, it's probably a dildo ralph bought for Faith. Think about it. How would Ralph be able to satisfy a woman when he's packing_ this..._



Spoiler: ***RALPH'S GUN***


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## Kinochet (Jul 4, 2022)

It'd be funny if there was a way the forum could reveal who opened the spoiler, like it auto adds a reaction.


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## TheSockiestSock (Jul 4, 2022)

The evidence of Ralph being pegged is not clear cut. The evidence of him being a degenerate faggot enough to be willing to is though. Thus in my head canon the gunt has been or at some point will be pegged. Time is a circle and his anus is an Ouroboros.


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## Rudy Coleman (Jul 4, 2022)

I HATE JANNIES


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## TheDarknessGrows (Jul 4, 2022)

TheSockiestSock said:


> The evidence of Ralph being pegged is not clear cut.


But it is confirmed that Ralph cries after sex.


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## Kinochet (Jul 4, 2022)

TheDarknessGrows said:


> But it is confirmed that Ralph cries after sex.


He’s a real Ray Donovan…


Spoiler



Fat and Jewish.


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## Judgment Boy (Jul 5, 2022)

Welp, I guess this is probably the best place to post this shit, and I really don't feel like keeping all this shit on my hard drive, sooo...

Back when this first dropped, I stated that I would go through and transcribe *EVERY*. *SINGLE*. *PAGE*. of Faith's journal. I did this for a few reasons:
*First*, because I noticed a LOT of people couldn't decode whatever fucking hieroglyphic characters Faith was taught to use as a form of writing, both English and non-native English speakers alike.
*Second*, it was about 93 pages of drivel, and I know most people aren't going to want to scour  that many PNGs for anything, no matter how juicy.
*Third* - and related to the last point - having a typed transcription of things written on images really helps people who want to use the search function to more easily find a specific part if it's ever needed for some future debunking or Ralphashaming.
And *fourth*...Yeah, I dunno, I just hate myself enough to take on such a feat in the name of posterity, I guess.

The entirety of the journal is divided into 6 separate spoilered parts, or "Acts", as I called them in the midst of my lunacy. They average out at about 18 pages per Act, some pages shorter than the last. And maybe most importantly, at the start of each part I have included a summary of that "Act"'s contents; at least, as brief of a summary as I could manage, anyway. Once again, did this to make it easier for navigation purposes, and for any of you who want to skip the boring parts that are just "Dear Diary: Mood Apathetic" with little to no Ralph mentions or insights into her family. However, in saying this, I DO recommend at least skimming each bit, as the whole journal is very eye-opening to just how emotionally/mentally stunted Faith was at the time, and there are parts where you do directly get to see from HER perspective just how much control Ralph had over her. Please note that I have taken great care to duplicate everything written in her entries, from typos and scribbles, to the weird Autistic Color-Coded Emotion Posts she did (only briefly, thank god), and even her weird gift graphs.

Due to the overall length of the transcripts, this will have to be separated into at LEAST two different posts. So if I double post, jannies and/or Null, please don't smite me with your mop and broom. But there was absolutely no way that all of this shit was going to fit in one single post with a 69,000 character limit. (I just want all this shit off my hard drive, man. Please understand.)


Anyway, I present to you: *The Diary Of A Gunted Teenager (Translated From Cacography To Printed English)
POST 1 OF 2*



 


_(Front cover (L); Back cover (R))_


*Summary of Act I:* Story begins on August 11th, 2020, with our teen protagonist, Faith Vickers, having been placed in a psych ward. This is probably the most boring bit, tbh. It's nothing but rants about her ex Chris and how mean and abusive he is, rants about her parents and how mean and abusive her dad is, far too many declarations of love to Ralph and odes to his greatness to ever be considered healthy, and her desire to be discharged to go get some Chick-Fil-A. Only interesting bit is that right from the start, she thinks she's _already_ pregnant, and she mentions a few times that Ralph is going to block KF for _her_ benefit.

*Random Quote:* _"I have a problem w/ lying & it needs to stop."_



Spoiler: ACT I, The Unfortunate Beginnings (PAGES 1-15)






*Page 1 TRANSCRIPT:*
Day 1:

So it's been half a day & this morning, time is a little hard to tell. My room is nice, I've mostly kept to myself, not a big fan of the group therapy idea. I want to ask if it's possible to be pregnant but not produce hormones because my period is late & I have few pregnancy cravings. Like pickles sound so amazing right now. I honestly hope I am pregnant, mom & dad will try their hardest to take me home though. ■■■ ■■■■  ■■■■ ■■■■■ I wish Chris would leave me alone, just leave the pic. But he's insestive(sic) on destroying my life until there's just him.

- Well my assessment was right, Chris livestreamed the messages & even a video of me & Ralph having sex. I've decided no more socia media. I have a problem w/ lying & it needs to stop.



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*Page 2 TRANSCRIPT:*
{Attempt to draw what I'm assuming was meant to be some sort of a psychadelic portrait/acid trip variant of Mickey Mouse, but looks a bit more like Freddy Fazbear (probably the eyes and ears that do it.)}
*N**o**t* *N**o**r**m**a**l*
But Still
SANE



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*Page 3 TRANSCRIPT:*
*H**e*
*S**h**o**w**e**d *​*M**e*
*Kindness*​


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*Page 4 TRANSCRIPT:*
Chris tried to call me. I'm not sure how he found out I was here or who told him. I have a feeling he was going to record the call & post that next. I made my first good choice & told them that if Chris tried calling again to deny. I can't ever speak to him again. I won't lie, it was tempting to answer. But I know what would happen, & I promised Ralph. I told Ralph I'll do whatever it takes, part of it is by never speaking to that asshole again. Hopefully Ralph will call soon & I can tell him. I hope by me telling him it opens communication & proves that I'm serious about being w/ him. Chris is the past. Ralph is my future, I want him & only him. I can't express how happy I am for his kindness & love. Even now all I want ■■ is his embrace. & to talk to him. If he hadn't called me & talked I don't know what I would have done.



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*Page 5 TRANSCRIPT:*
I think Chris thought I didn't know what was happening or that he could talk his way out of it. He would've acted concerned but I am so happy I turned his call down. I just want to see mi vida. I don't want to let my illness control me. I want to control it. It makes me angry that Chris tried to call me. I don't know why but it does. For him to think it's okay to pretend to care. He didn't love me, I didn't love him, I lived in fear of him for so long but I also pity him. He knew what he did & assummed(sic) it would alienate me to the point where he was all I had. But he assummed(sic) wrong. I'll learn to recover. I always do. & it's nice to start freash(sic). I started meditating then I think Ralph called & got all excited, just hearing his voice gets me all giddy. But I think it was a false alarm. Did he tell Chris I was here? I doubt it but I'm not sure. Something I'll have to ask him. I'll go back to meditating then.



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*Page 6 TRANSCRIPT:*
It's past 8:15, he said he'd call by now.

He called & it was good, it was nice to talk to him & talk about things. I have to keep up w/ therapy & we're going to work on things.

So my parents told my doctors that he leaked the video which makes no sense & I can tell their feeding him things to think I'm in an abusive relationship. That really makes me upset to think about. Like they have no proof & it doesn't make sense, why would he when he could be arrested for Revenge Porn. I'll call him & tell him what was said.

I forgot to tell him that they said he blamed me for it being released.

I really hope I'm discharged today, I miss Ralph & don't wanna go back to Cali.

They also tried to use my sexual trauma against me.



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*Page 7 TRANSCRIPT:*
I keep hearing different things about being discharged. I just wanna get out at this point. But as always, mom & dad are making that harder. Honestly I feel like being here & isolated is making thing(sic) worse. I feel like I'm not being listened to by my team either. I thought it was clear I don't want a family meeting.

I really wanna go home w/ Ralph today. I just need him rn.

So I'm not leaving yet, but it looks like I will tomorrow. Hopefully. IT seems like mom & dad are trying to make it seem like I can't make choices for myself. Which obviously isn't true but they are trying EVERYTHING to make it so me & Ralph aren't together. They also said that Chris never called. Well, he did. I have no reason to lie anymore. I have to stop trying to control to the point that I lie like I did. I feel like I'm getting better. I hope I can & that it's not to(sic) late I'm gonna ask for a bible to(sic).



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*Page 8 TRANSCRIPT:*
Since starting simbalta(sic) I've lost my appetite a little.

I'm concerned about Chris trying to contact me again. I don't know if I fully thought of how scary he is, my parents told Ralph that Chris never called, But I know he did. I know he tried to find me & was either going to worsen my health or manipulate me. Even if I didn't promise to Ralph to cut contact, I need to for myself. If I leave it alone it will stop. I really think the year break is the best choice for me. I know I should be trying to focus on myself, but it's so hard. It's so hard to know people don't want me alive or to be around. I know it shouldn't effect(sic) me, that I need to be a warrior & not a victim. I'm trying so hard to be that warrior. I hope that I can in the long run.



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*Page 9 TRANSCRIPT:*
Debating on asking for hydroxine(sic{pretty sure she meant 'Hydroxyzine'}) cause I'm having some anxiety. I really am concerned about how he found out I was here. & if he'll leak that I'm here. What if I get calls from the KF people? This is the type of stuff they love to jump on. I like that Ralph is gonna block KF so I can't see it, even if I'm tempted. I can't express how much I'm greatful(sic) for him & his kindness towards me. I keep getting self-concious(sic) cause how everyone has seen me in one of the most intimate positions I've been in that was only intended for me & Ralph. Hundreds of People have now seen it. It brings all the trauma back & it's so fucking hard.

I've lost like apetite(sic) for full meals, but snacking is fine. Unless it's Chick-fil-A...I miss Chick-fil-A

Reminder: Order Chick-fil-A ASAP when out...



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*Page 10 TRANSCRIPT:*
My period is still late, 3 days now. All my tests are negative but I'm curious if it(sic) possible to not produce the hormone that sets off the tests but still be preg. It's the not knowing that's kinda getting to me. I also think I should go back to being on birth control. If I'm not preg(sic) now, I don't think mentally it's a good idea. Maybe in a few months, maybe a year? ■■ Now if birth control fails I'll keep my child but I don't think actively trying is a good idea for me. I think I underestimated how much it takes mentally. Maybe Ralph will agree.

I was supposed to call before group but I was so tired & forgot. I'll have to call afterwards. I feel a little uncomfortable still being in here. I really want out. I've been having some flash backs too which isn't helping like at all. Cause there's alot(sic) of men here. This one guy is kinda making it hard to forget about self-harm. Really not helping my self-harm thoughts.



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*Page 11 TRANSCRIPT:*
I feel weird admitting I like the pain of self-harming myself.

This guy reminds me of Rae, it's kinda familiar like when he'd go on philosophical rants.

I really miss Ralph right now.

I keep having flash backs kinda badly. Like remembering having to pretend.




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*Page 12 TRANSCRIPT:*
Avatar Kyoshi
{Faith's version of Kyoshi, from the _Avatar: The Last Airbender _series.}




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*Page 13 TRANSCRIPT:*
I do like the people here. & that I'm not alone. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. Like I know I'm not but it's still nice. Doesn't change that I miss Ralph.

Still no apetite(sic), having headaches & nauseous. I really want out by tomorrow. I miss my baby & him holding me & kissing me. It almost hurts to know that we're so close but so far. That I could be w/ him right now if I never went w/ my parents. It's just messing w/ me. I miss him calling me baby girl.

Ralph was telling me about the show tonight. I hope it goes well, I feel bad for not being there, being in the corner giggling & smiling. Tonight is going to be so hard on him & I won't be there. I wish I could drink, just a little. But I know one drink leads to a pint. A pint leads to flash backs. & that leads to crying.




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*PAGE 14 TRANSCRIPT:*
{Appears to be a very under-detailed overhead layout to a bedroom, studio apartment, or something of the like. Only things that are labeled are "Bed", "Clothes Rack", "Couch", and "Posters. There is absolutely no given context to this or what place it's meant to be showcasing and/or a layout plan for. Very, very barebones, whatever it is.}




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*Page 15 TRANSCRIPT:*
Still no period, day 4 now.





*Summary For Act II:* This is the part when the very awkward "need for sex" talk starts up. Got a couple of pretty basic, cringe teen-angst poems, more talk of her ex Chris, even MORE negative pregnancy tests, and thinking maybe her pregnancy is just too special to be picked up on a basic test. Oh, but apparently she and Ralph made an agreement that if she got pregnant, he'd have to listen to "Ice, Ice Baby" and "Baby Come Back" every day for 9 months. She has some spats with a couple of other patients in the ward; in particular, she isn't a fan of a woman there because she's "so mentally gone that she is not capable of her own choices". Huh, it's almost like Faith's in a psych ward. For crazy people.
Weird.

*Random Quote:* _"I'm all anxious for the 'forum', or is it form? I don't care I just want out!"_




Spoiler: ACT II, The Woeful, The Horny, & The Insane (PAGES 16-30)






*Page 16 TRANSCRIPT:*
S: |||| |||| ||
A:
P: ■ |||| |
F: |||| ■
{No context given, but I presume it was just a scoreboard for a game with other loons.}




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*Page 17 TRANSCRIPT:
෴
〤ϡ*

I keep trying to draw but I suck at drawing ugh!




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*Page 18 TRANSCRIPT:*
I am praying & hoping that I get out tomorrow. I miss my baby. IDK how many times I've written it but it's killing me. To not sleep w/ him, to hold  him when he whimpers. To kiss him. To make love to him. It's making it harder to sleep at night. To even think. I just want him. More than anything. I keep thinking of our weekend in Viginia(sic) Beach. Ordering in some food, talking, using those new toys...That's where my mind keeps going. God I miss sex...

Everyone thinks I'm older then(sic) I am. I'm not sure why. No makup(sic) & hair always up. Not to(sic) sure. I wish I could call Ralph Right now. I wish I could just see him.

No word on getting out yetttt AHHHHH!




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*Page 19 TRANSCRIPT:*
Not getting out all weekend...I really wanted to spend the weekend w/ mi vida. My parents keep lying to me & Ralph & my Doctors, it's really hurtful. Plus they keep talking to Chris which is so hurtful. It brings back all my trauma.

 °⌒.•´¯`•.¸¸.•´⁀˚⁀`•.¸¸.•´¯`•.⌒°

Poem​​I know life cuts​And it burns w/ Rage​  And the doors that shut,
  People not on the page
  People not on the page

I can stand & yell​But can I sit silent?​Is it honestly to tell​  And be freedom's pilot?

I don't just miss​But I despertely(sic) crave 
  For his embrace & kiss.
   I hope I can be brave.

 ﹀﹀°'•.¸¸.•`°´•.¸ ¸.•`°´•.¸¸.•'°﹀﹀                     




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*Page 20 TRANSCRIPT:*
"New plan, Get the 48 hour forum(sic). This shit is taking to(sic) long. I miss Ralph, & I'm not as sick as they make me out to be. Yes, I have trauma. But reliving it evry day isn't helping. How can I move on if I can't move forward? & I'm tired of my parent's control, even now...But the trauma doesn't make me a child. It doesn't make me incapable. Everyone calls me strong but isn't allowing me the choice to prove it. Also, still no period. Pregnancy?

What Anthony said helped, that my boyfriend sees me as strong. I know that's how Ralph sees me, but it's nice to hear. Still to(sic) naseoos(sic) to eat honestly. Need a shower. No towels though. Fuck it.

Asked for forms, just need to sign them. Then I'm a step closer to mi vida & working on our problems. So close, it'll all be ok. It has to be. I don't see things getting much worse at this point. I think this is my lowest point. But people here need more help then(sic) me.




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*Page 21 TRANSCRIPT:*
I'm all anxious for the forum(sic), or is it form? I don't care I just want out!

Ha! It is signed, I'm getting out! I'm gonna see my baby! I'm so excited.

⬊.                  .⬋
*The Whiz*
⬈'                  '⬉

Finally Brushed my hair, thank god.




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*Page 22 TRANSCRIPT:*
Apparently I'm the baby here, haha.

Ralph has to play "Ice, Ice Baby" & "Baby Come Back" for 9 months when I'm pregnant.

Still no period, still naseous to(sic) from certain foods. Not sure why but still happening I keep forgetting to ask about that. If it's possible to be pregnant w/ out setting off the tests. I also just feel sick in the morning. I can't tell if it's the meds or not. But it's not fun. Like I feel like throwing up constantly. I just want to see mi vida already. Can you get sick from not seeing someone?

I think the other reason I'm considered the baby is cause I actively waited for disney weekend.

Ah I'm not the only baby anymore. There's another 18 yo here, He does NOT look 18 tho. Maybe 25 Haha. But then again everyone thought I was older then(sic) I am.




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*Page 23 TRANSCRIPT:*
Just hitting that Rae & hollow & everyone won't ■■■ won't wanna be my friend anymore...I'd understand but still hurts to think about. It's my own fault for lying but I still wish that I could make it up & not just lose them entirely. Maybe...I guess that's part of starting fresh. New life, new friends. Tho I'd be lying  if I said it didn't hurt to think about.

I called Ralph & he laughed when I told him how I was watching Disney movies. It was nice to hear his laugh, I can almost picture his face as he■ laughs. So close to seeing him, then I can feel his arms around me. I'll be able to kiss him again. I can't wait...

I'm kinda sick of the video being brought up. How can I move on if it's always being mentioned. Not to mention the Docs insisting my boyfriend leaked it. As if I don't know him the best. As if I didn't consent to the video. Again it would make no sense for it to be him. It's just nonesense(sic).




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*Page 24 TRANSCRIPT:*
*BLANK*




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*Page 25 TRANSCRIPT:*
I can wear my normal clothes finally & poor Eddie started crying it's like a big deal to be able to wear clothes here. I couldn't wear my hoodie but I got my t-shit & jeans! My hoodie has strings & those aren't allowed.

Ralph blocked KF from my router so can't see it even if tempted so thank God for that. I need to remind myself to smack him if he looks at it.

On of the girls here is really sick & kinda threatening so I just left instead of creating conflict. I can't be upset, she clearly is very mentally ill. But even to(sic) much for this place. I think I'll just call Ralph again.

Still no period, my dad tried saying that means I'm trying to trick Ralph into thinking I'm pregnant. I didn't even say that, I was honest w/ taking two tests & the negative result I got when I came in here. I even had said it could be stress. Like, yes it's weird but it's not a lie to keep Ralph around.





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*Page 26 TRANSCRIPT:*
I would like to know why my period ■■ is late though. I mean this isn't normal for me. Though all of this isn't normal for me, so it could be just change of settings? But it was regular at home, so I'm not certain of anything. But certainly it isn't a scheme to keep Ralph w/ me. It's bullshit, my parents are truly trying anything. I understand where they are coming from but I've been getting help. And they've barely spoken to me. Ralph has called me multiple times every day I've been here. They've taken the route of Lying & manipulating not only my boyfriend but also my doctors.

What's with pigeons being dicks in animated movies about animals, is it cause they're trash birds? Now I remember that video Ralph took of Hermosa w/ the birds. That was such a good day. If there is any reason to want my phone it's for those videos. & out pictures. I know Ralph has copies & all but I'd still like my own! I hope mom & dad send me my picture album. I can add those to it.




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*Page 27 TRANSCRIPT:*
When I get out Ralph mentioned wanting another pup, maybe we could get an emotional support dog? Not just for me but I think it would help us both. It just seems like a good idea for us. Plus it could help us bond, to take care of something together. A little consel(sic) type dog, haha. A fluffy rescue pup that's good for cuddling. I'll mention it to him when he calls later, I think he'll like the idea. First things(sic) first, just gotta get out of here. But something to think about. I do think things will be ok in the long run. They have to be, if me & Ralph are willing to work on our problems & stand together as a team to fight off all this bullshit. I'll do everying to stand by (his) side & support him not only as a partner but as his friend. I can't wait to be home & I'm glad people here like me. That's a good trait I think I have, I usually can get people to like or at least be friends to me.




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*Page 28 TRANSCRIPT:*
So me & Ralph were talking & how (the) only way I cant be kept here is if I'm a danger to myself or others & he said how it was laughable for me to be a threat towards others. Though that "not all there" girl was being rude about the phone. I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend, I haven't seen him in over a week. Though the tech, Theo, stood up for me. Which made me smile. Shadonna asked how I can be so nice to people, I explained that it's how I balance myself. If I am able to be kind to fellow man & bring joy to their life in any way I can I am happy. Now I'll trash or complain but overall I try to be as kind as possible.

Eddie just lectured me on my relationship, he doesn't understand the situation but because I'm living w/ him before marriage that makes it wrong. I've been nothing but Kind, I even draw(sic) a stupid picture & made tea & shit. Yet he decided to trash on the only thing getting me through any of this. "Who cared for you for 9 months?" Well who left me here & hasn't called me? Answer to both: My mom! Just because your(sic) old doesn't make you wise.




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*Page 29 TRANSCRIPT:*
I won Bingo & said it was cause I had faith, hehe.

I finally get to listen to music & it's all emo ❤ Best Day in this place!

Lecture on pregnancy right now, bleh. But negative on blood work to(sic). Unless I'm a freak case of constant negatives or something. But I doubt it.

I'm all worked up thinking about Eddie's bullshit. Like it's my relationship that he knows nothing about but because he's easedropped(sic) on a few convos of mine he assumes he knows all. You mean I call the only one who is currently supporting me? But of course he wouldn't know since he only makes assumptions. Then mocks w/ out knowing him? Accuses him of pimping me? Telling me to go home crying to my mom because she didn't abort me? Assuming that the few days he's even known of my existence is enough to preach his bullshit & to leave my boyfriend? Fuck that. This is because of that new girl. She's (the) only one crazier then(sic) him. Thou shalt not juge(sic), for they are not the final judge. Should've said that.




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*Page 30 TRANSCRIPT:*
That really mentally ill lady shouldn't be here because she VERY clearly is so mentally gone that she is not capable of her own choices. I don't think she even knows where she is half the time. Though I feel pity more then(sic) anything. I feel sorry she can't grasp her sense of reality. The more cynical part of me honestly beleives(sic) it's an act. It's just all too...convenient. But I'm no mental health expert.

So the resident talked to me & tried to push me to stay but stopped as soon as I brought up that I never signed a release info agreement to include my parents on my case & that I was pretty clear that I didn't want them involved. The only person I HAVE actively wanted involved is my boyfriend, which they pretty much denied. Because of the info from my parents that they got without my premission(sic). Which the more I think of the more it upsets me. Like that was over the line & illegal as fuck. It's a huge violation on my rights as a patient. & they took advantage on my naviety(sic) about that. Which is all sorts of fucked up.





*Summary Of Act III:* Finally, our protagonist tastes FREEDOM! After a few more pages of moody psych ward talk and two more angsty poems, as of page 39 Faith is out and back with the Ralphamale. Some mentions of her ex Chris doing a stream with *Mundane Matt* and how that hurt her feelings. Should note that whenever she mentions "pen" she means a weed pen, and when she says "bullet", she means the sex toy. Yes, there's A LOT more sex talk here, and it's far more explicit than the prior act. Ralph bought her sparkly glitter pens, and she decides that she's now going to color code her journal entries. Fortunately, that idea dies out pretty quick. Also, I'm questioning if she knows what "pansexual" actually means, as she seems to believe that pansexual = polysexual.

I'll say that if you want a deeper insight on how the relationship looked from Faith's perspective, like their dynamic and the start of the warning signs, this is where you'd wanna start at least skimming. Near the end of this "Act" is when the whole poly thing was apparently proposed, and you can tell she was getting some guilt put on her. Also, *Nick Rackets* shout out!


*Still my favorite Faith quote:* _"I'm also pretty sure my dad will start a show of some kind in the process, father loves attention."_




Spoiler: ACT III, A Freedom So Bitter (PAGES 31-50)






*Page 31 TRANSCRIPT:*
Tomorrow I'll be out, Ralph can hold me & we can put this huge mess behind us. Which is all I want in the end. I wish certain turned out differently, like w/ my parents, but best to make some good out of all the negative. Some of the good is I've gotten a lot of my mental health under control, me & Ralph will learn to only grow stronger together, I made a new friend, people here have treated me w/ nothing but kindness, I found medication that works for me, ■ if I focus on the good that has come from this whole ordeal then(sic) the negative doesn't seem so bad. Or at least it's minimal compared to the positives & benefits. Plus I do think a DBT therapist is my best route since it's more focused on self-harm & to distract the mind ■■■■ from wanting the self-harm. Which was my problem, was the immediate gratification of that releif(sic) from cutting.




-----



*Page 32 TRANSCRIPT:*
After I got lectured by Eddie I had a whole rant in my head after as a response. but now it feels so insignifigant(sic). While it enraged me at the time. Though that mentally ill lady is freaking me out w/ how she looks at me. I think she may actually wanna kill me, like I'm not even kidding with how she just stares at me like she wants to shank me or some shit. Plus I'm pretty sure it's her doing w/ the pencils & markers being gone. Ralph said he was gonna buy me new things to draw w/ as soon as I get out. Which I'd really like honestly, I wish I could draw more while in here though. Honestly think my "Traditional" art skills have improved since being in here. Another positive to look at in the long run, overall. One more day though & I'll see mi vida! That's what I'm most excited about. ■ Is to see Ralph. I'd gladly go through this a million times over to just see him. Less than 24 hours to go.




-----



*Page 33 TRANSCRIPT:*
Night falls
I fall
& where were you?
& where were you?

While I, I died
& where were you?
I fell into the moon
& it covered you in blue

I fell into the moon
can I make it right
can I spend the night

Warm skin
Wolf grin
& where were you?
& where were you?

High tide
I hide
& where were you?

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■ I crawled out of the world
when you said I shouldn't stay
Can I make it right, can I spend the night

Alone.




-----



*Page 34 TRANSCRIPT:*
I've litterally(sic) been asleep all day, something I was trying to avoid. I am so stupid. I just want ot kiss my baby already. It's all I've been thinking about since. Anthony is really flipping on Jesele(?). Like calling her fat & not pregnant & calling her baby stillborn, which in my opinion is too far. & he keept disrespecting the poor staff. I actually really like the staff. They all have been super sweet to me & taking care of me, making me feel better when I've felt hopeless. I don't know I can't can't picture myself disrespecting the staff like that. It seems just so cruel. I know to us we seem like we're just another job, another task to be completed. But to them we are people who have struggled & don't want to anymore. They want to help, the least to do is appeciate(sic) & respect that. I don't know maybe those are my thoughts because I was raised by my mom who's(sic) life was saved by medical professionals & ■■■ my grandma Reatha & Grandpa Bruce were nurses, & crazy grandma worked as a tech, so maybe it's for that I have alot of respect for medical professionals & staff.




-----



*Page 35 TRANSCRIPT:*
I consider myself a passive preacher, I think the best way to convert a person is through showing them genouristy(sic) & kindness even when your own life has fallen apart. I've faced trauma & hardships that have left me completely broken & crushed, I've let my mental illness control my actions, but I still have tried to show kindness. Even when I don't like someone I do what I can to show genourisity(sic). But also try to keep my religoin(sic) into my politics. Like I try to distingush(sic) between morality & legality. I can judge someone based on morals but overall if it doesn't infringe on someone else's rights then I could care less about the legality of the situation.




-----



*Page 36 TRANSCRIPT:*
Through Choice, I Pick him

It's him I love
Even through this
He is my other Dove.
And I just simply miss.

Just to feel his prescence(sic),
Dopeamaire(sic?) will flood.
For he is my present,
love a flowering bud.

Even at my worst
I craved his voice,
my personal forest
of independence & choice.

And with this fact
I choose him
And it is no act
Even if I'm dim.

I'm happy for fat,
because it played out
without any bait,
But with a loud shout.

I love you, Ethan
So very much
I'm your biggest fan,
just I get to have your touch.




-----



*Page 37 TRANSCRIPT:*
Shadonna seems excited to meet Ralph, which is kinda fun cause she's been a good friend to have here. It's nice to have someone around that I can vent to & laugh with even through all this stress & pain. & someone who can talk to me like I'm an adult & not a child. Plus I think it's another positive from this ordeal, a new friend.

Ralph got a room at the Hyatt! It's gonna be so fun! We're gonna be fucking like ■■■■■ Rabits(sic) though. I keep thinking about his hands on ■■ me...I have every night. A collar my neck as he yanks on my hair...I need to have it so bad!

I'm finally going home w/ mi vida! I am so excited & happy! I missed him so much & I finally get to feel his arms around me which I have been craving for a full week! I need this stupid meeting over already! Unfortuneltly(sic) Shadonna can't meet Ralph since she's leaving soon but I still have her number & she has mine so we'll be in touch thankfully.




-----



*Page 38 TRANSCRIPT:*
Still Had to sign some forms to be released, gonna be leaving around the afternoon & finnally(sic) get to see my baby! that's what I am most excited about, seeing him. Right now I'm being nosey(sic) & watching the really mentally ill lady be carted w/ police following close by. I knew this would happen honestly, that woman is behind this little volunteer program. And ■■■■ they're strapping her down too, I hate to say that I knew this would happen. They're taking her to the real looney(sic) bin. So I guess she really wasn't acting, which I feel bad about. I don't think she truly understands what is happening honestly. Which is why she is being taken away.

I got to talk to Nancy before leaving which is nice. Maybe I can attend one last group therapy session. That would be nice.

I made the last session just barely.





-----



*Page 39 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 18th 2020

It's been a busy day. When I got out of the hospital I jumped into Ralph's arms & he picked me up & I even squealed. My dad & Chris have totally decided to prove they don't care or love me. Dad was talking shit & mentioned I've been in the psych ward. I am curious if I can sue for that also since it broke patient confidentialty(sic). Chris did a stream with Mundane Matt & admitted to getting nudes from me as a minor. Because that's smart? I'm so happy to be back w/ Ralph though. He's still easing me into things & so for tonight I'm staying at the hotel during the show. I do apperciate(sic) that he's easing me back into things, I'll admit I have been a little overwhelmed since I got out. Like when we went to eat at Founding Farmers. Still just trying to adjust to so many people being around me who aren't more familar(sic) faces. I'm gonna just watch The Office & eat pizza & nap. Didn't releize(sic) how much time I wasted on my phone & how it took care of a lot of boredom but phones kinda seem more intimidating then(sic) before. It's also nice to not be on social media 24/7, I still know of things happening around me but I'm not swallowed by it whole. Still no self-harming urges, so that's another positive. Having some pain from the none(sic) stop hard & rough sex w/ Ralph, though. Using the pen to help.





-----



*Page 40 TRANSCRIPT:*
The imagery of the bullet, pen, & pizza at my side is litterally(sic) the most accurate representation of a female's mental health break which is hilarous(sic) to me. Plus fucking The Office in the background adds to that. Though the thought just hit me: Did Chris bring up the minor nudes as a way to make me look bad? His mom is so obsessed w/ the idea that the minor is in the wrong if an adult solitices(sic) a minor for sexual favors so I wonder if he thinks that's common? But honestly it just makes him look worse, I shouldn't htinking about it. For the most part I have, but it alludes me how someone, especially someone who wants to be a cop, thinks that's ok. Part of the recovering is going to let my anger over the trauma go. Not just for my mental health but also for my & Ralph's relationship. Thank god things like this don't last long, the internet has an attention span of a group of toddlers. Unless they are extremely autistic & obsessive. But people also autistically & obsessively support Ralph which is good. Not saying it's to support mi vida just some people are so loyal & fanatics that someone could shoot up a school & they'd still send in "fucking king!" type comments, Ralph has some people like that who will continue to watch & send money. I'm also pretty sure my dad will start a show of some kind in the process, father loves attention.





-----



*Page 41 TRANSCRIPT:*
I wish my mentrual pain would stop, it's getting so painful. Even just laying down feels so hurtful, but it is a distraction. More of my penence(sic) I guess. Hopefully it doesn't take mi vida long to got(sic) ■■ back, I really miss him. I don't know if it's like seperatoin anxiety or what but him being gone this long w/ no constant communication makes me miss him greatly. But at the same time makes me cherish every moment together far more. I hope ■■ he come back soon though. Maybe more neck rubs too   ⬅ poor attempt at an emoji...





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*Page 42 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 19 2020

Mi vida brought me a bunch of snacks so I don't starve & just a mini vodka but I was so tired that I didn't even bother drinking. Plus I was already naseous(sic) & I didn't have any good mixers. Also his fans paid him like $800+ to shave his head, now I'm thinking I should've definitely watched to stop him haha. We also found a little system so that I can fall asleep w/ sound on but he doesn't have too(sic) which is honestly amazing! We're going to get some food soon & maybe some Starbucks too. Though I need to find out who made mi vida shave his head cause now I can't play w/ his hair -_-. Though it's kinda fun to run my hand over his head, haha.

Staying at another hotel, mi vida bought me some glitter pens & inking markers. My dad is trying to claim he can keep MY wallet, that has all things that are legally mine like my debit card, my ID, my social security card, etc. All things that are in my name & under my control. I don't care if they keep the phone & laptop. Those can be esily replaced. But those are some pretty big essentials I need to have on my person. Not to mention those(sic) clothes, backpack, & purse are also all mine. It's well over $300 worth of my stuff. Trhey wanna talk legal shit but if anyone has any case it's me. But they don't see that.





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*Page 43 TRANSCRIPT:*
*PAN**S**e**x**u**a**l*

Mi Vida just left for work, Now it's time to kill some time. Let's try some of these glitter pens:

*Black Glitter pen*
*Red Glitter pen*
*Blue Glitter pen*
*Light Blue Glitter pen*
*Yellow Glitter pen*
*Purple Glitter pen*
*Magenta Glitter pen*
*Green Glitter pen*
I really like these pens, maybe I can use them to kinda organize my thoughts, make a little "Thoughts" key. That's what I'll do with my time.

Color key 4 Thoughts:

*Black | Random Thoughts
Red | Stressful Thoughts
Blue | Depressed Thoughts
Light Blue | Excited Thoughts
Yellow | Happy Thoughts
Purple | Curious Thoughts
Magenta | Frisky Thoughts
Green | Important Thoughts*
Then I'll just Title a Section of notes or something with the colors to match the mood of the notes written. Maybe I can make a mood tracker too.





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*Page 44 TRANSCRIPT:
_________________________________________________________*
This South Park episode is so fucking
weird, like there's some 5 year old w/ cancer
& shit. Like what the actual fuck is this
that I am watching?
*_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________*
God I hate teen mom, every time the ad for
it comes up I just roll my eyes in annoyance.
Like, yes please encourage sixteen year olds
too(sic) think it's ok to get knocked up while in
high school because that's smart & moral in
every way, shape, & form -_-
*_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________*
It's still a little weird to be so disconnected from
other people, at least phone wise. It's a little
nerve-wracking(sic) butu it's a little better each day.
Still have some anxiety about it though. Writing
helps to take the anxiety away though, I
just wish time would go a little faster. I
hope that I can get my ■ wallet back though, I
really want to get some new clothes on my
own so I don't waste any of mi vida's money.
But of course my dad is trying to make
excuses for keeping MY property. I'm sure
Ralph will talk to Reikieta(sic) about how
"legal" that is since I have repeatedly asked
for my property back. Guess we will see.
*_________________________________________________________*





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*Page 45 TRANSCRIPT:
_________________________________________________________*
I wanna ask mi vida if he wants to see
New Mutants, it looks kinda cool. Plus
it would be a fun little date for us.
Especially since he wants to see Unhinged.
I mean I wanna see it too but I think
like a "Movie Day" type thing would be a
fun outting together. Will bring the idea up.
*_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________*
"It seems my period finnally(sic) came but
it is beyond painful, even w/ the pen.
But it's super light & almost a pink
color. The pain is going through to
my legs so that they're buzzing w/
pain. It's alos making me feel super
naseous(sic) & warm. There's still an hour till
the show is supposed to be over. I'll need
to ask Ralph to bring my pads, pretty
sure they're still at home. But it hurts like hell."
*_________________________________________________________*





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*Page 46 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 20th 2020

*_________________________________________________________*
We had a nice walk in the park, I'm hopeful
we can make that a regular thing cause it's
good excercise(sic) but it's also pretty. I really liked
it, it was a perfect little outting.
*_________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________*
Ugh I hurt so much w/ my cramping. I
feel like almost throwing up from how much it
hurts. Hopfully Ralph comes back soon w/ some
pain killers cause I am shaking in pain.
Sleeping helped me be distracted a bit, had
some weird as fuck dreams. But I also
can't tell what time it is cause the clock
reset & it doesn't say on the TV so I
have no idea how long till the show ends
either. If the pain keeps up this bad I don't
know what I'm gonna do.
*_________________________________________________________*

*_________________________________________________________*
I made some cutesy stickers & made a
little KillStream one for mi vida. Can't
wait to show him when he comes back,
I think he'll like it. He'll probably give me
kisses & snuggles too which I despertely(sic) need
with my pain right now. I hope he comes back
soon 
*__________________________________________________________*





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*Pages 47, 48, & 49 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 24th 2020

Forgot what today is but haven't been able to write for the weekend. To(sic) tired to bother with the glitter pens right now. On Friday we went to a party, I met Casandra & her boyfriend & her daughter & her daughter's dad. They were all really nice, her daughter was the cutest thing ever though. We spent the night at Casandra's, they had a cute office with a futon me & mi vida slept on. Then Saturday we went to DC & got drunk with Christain & Yoni. Yoni got super fucked though, I don't know if it was a combo of ALL those drinks he had & the hits from the pen but he was going off. We had this really nice guy preform(sic) cool magic tricks for us, & you could tell he was really into it, & then Yoni started calling the poor dude a Satanist. Then started harrassing(sic) this couple sitting next to us. We then sent him home, Christain got a pretty ■■■ funny picture of Yoni just passed out on the floor. Me & Ralph went back to the restraunt(sic) too(sic) sober up & eat. Now we're finally back home, I've been binging American Horror Story. Finally watched Freakshow, now watching Coven. Freakshow was pretty good but still can't beat Aslyum(sic) in my opinion. Right now mi vida is working. I may write mini reviews in my journal since I can't make videos right now. Something to make me feel busy or even entertained. Maybe I can get a sketch book soon, that'll help.

I kinda wanted to watch the show tonight but I may have to wait longer. I get it, I just like seeing him getting all amped up for his work. It's nice to see. Plus it's adorable, especially when he looks over at me & gives me that loving look. It's the same look he gave me when he first held me. The same look he gives when he tells me he loves me. I love that look. It makes me feel so completel & my heart starts fluttering. Especially while his arms are around me. It makes everything easier to deal with. It helps with all the crazy going on in what my life is. He just helps in general so much, his kisses, his embrace, his presence, his love, I want to be worth of it all. Be a perfect housewife, do what I need to. I can't wait for the mess to be over. It seems to be cooling off a little bit now. Chris emailed mi vida though, begging to "talk as friends". If he wanted my friendship he wouldn't have groomed me at 14. I wish more people knew how that "man" had scared me into being with him. How he threatened me, my family, my brothers. He & my own father releasing my private traumas, as if it is their story to tell instead of my own. After proclaiming they care for my health above all else. Playing with me then crying I took what I learned from them & used it against them.

Should I have done what they did to me? No. Instead of rising above their pitful(sic) selves I only lowered myself & let the illnesses I have play in my head to justify my actions. But now I can be better. Me & Ralph can do what we can to be the best we can be. Live a happy life, marry, have kids, take silly trips & watch things together. Just be together. I have security & trust in his love & in all honesty I haven't ever felt that before. I will say when he brought up going to a strip club I was livid and wanted to cry. I know I'm a Pan(sexual), I get that I'm a degenerate who's scarily into pain, but there's another level to adding someone else to sex. Man or woman. I know the saying is "it's just sex" but it's different for me. It always has been. I'll find a person objectively attractive but to actually want to have sex with someone I have always needed to have feelings. One way to ever want someone in that way, just to feel deeply for them. & now that I have sex daily with someone  I love, no matter how rough or kinky, it has some deeper meaning to me. And to share that? To share something that makes me feel so whole with another especially when I need it more then(sic) ever hurts more then(sic) anything I've felt. Am I not enough for him? Or is it simply that we see sex differently? I know we have to, not just based on gender but experinces(sic). He's had sex far more than I.





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*Page 50 TRANSCRIPT:*
Is it wrong to be my sexuality & feel jealousy over that thought? Or to tear up & feel a stabbing in my chest? Am I supposed to want multiple partners?I don't want to tell Ralph how badly it hurt, honestly how hurt I was. Even if I was so drunk, I can't do it. I just can't bear that pain. I don't want him to know how badly it hurts because I don't want him to feel bad. But I also want him to understand that it is a big boundary for me. Even with my sexuality, even with my love of big tits, but I don't want another woman touching him like I touch him. I don't care when he's on the show & sexualizing other women or even me because it's a show. Entertainment for other people. But when he seriously suggest another be apart of our sex...I swear I may cry next time. Writing about it helps though, I couldn't write a lot of these thoughts down because I didn't have my book with me so it has been spiraling around in my head all weekend since I heard it. Just getting it all written & off my chest has been releiving(sic) & therapeutic. Still waiting for the show to be over so he can come snuggle me & kiss me. I love that man. Even if some pain still lingers, even if I still need to recover from trauma that still plagues my mind & in my nightmares. Even with all that I still love mi vida, more then(sic) anything.







Welp, that's it for part 1 of the journal transcripts. I'll probably end up posting the other half tomorrow or something. Next half definitely has a lot more "interesting" bits, as that's when all the Vickers vs Gunt antics really start to blow up, and Meigh gets her mentions. I appreciate and deserve any and all puzzle pieces thrown my way, thank you.

And, I know I've said it before about this journal, but maybe now you can all see what I mean. Faith truly cannot survive in a world without any form of auto-correct or spellcheck. When she is left to her own devices (meaning her hands and her brain), she REPEATEDLY makes the same, very basic spelling errors. It's mind-boggling, really.

I truly fear for the zoomers. And whatever it is that comes _after_.


----------



## 3322 (Jul 5, 2022)

I like my OP that made wild (but believable) accusations based on hard to decipher evidence, because it's funny. Damn you Sam Losco! WHEN WILL YOU DIE?!


----------



## Judgment Boy (Jul 5, 2022)

Alright, time to end the suffering. Here's the rest of the journal transcripts.

These remaining "Acts" are probably the milkiest parts for most people, and for good reason. A lot of it is meaningless teen spergery about TV shows and whatever, but those moments are almost kind of "palette cleansers" in-between various dramatics between the Vickers clan and Ralph. It gets pretty depressing, tbh.

Should note that we get a name of Faith's apparent rapist, which I don't recall ever actually seeing before. Given, I don't peruse her thread much, because I find the Vickers all very boring, but figured I'd make note of it just in case it was new info.

But anyway, on with it:
*The Diary Of A Gunted Teenager (Translated From Cacography To Printed English)*
*POST 2 OF 2*



*Summary Of Act IV:* More insights into the Faith and Ralph relationship, albeit subtle, but worth the skimming if that's what you're looking for. Ralph's controlling nature definitely shines through more in this part. She very clearly writes more in this timeframe, because Ralph is always "too busy" and all she's allowed to do is sit in the room in bed and watch Netflix. This is when we get to see an interesting flip-flopping between her having baby fever, and then clearly realizing she's not ready for motherhood, which is just more sad. Spends a few entries talking about American Horror Story, loving the troon character and hating Lady Gaga's existence. More awkward kinky talk as well, making more mentions of sex toys and whatever. Also contemplates what sex while on acid would feel like, which I feel might be Ralph's influence, given the Alice leaks; but who knows. Also, *PAGE 60*, first mention of Faith's alleged rapist by name.

All just things that really hit you and make you realize just much of a teenager she still really was.

More spiteful rants about her parents, not all of it completely unjustified. Mention of *Boogie* unfollowing Ralph over drama, more mentions of her ex Chris. Oh, and she only just NOW learns what Ralph's middle name is.


*Random Quote:* _"Also why all the threesomes in this show. Like in this season there are more threesomes then(sic) Woodstock (or some refrence(sic) I've never been so I don't know at all)."_




Spoiler: ACT IV, American Love & Horror (PAGES 51-65)






*Page 51 TRANSCRIPT:*
{AHS Coven artwork}

& this is what happens when I binge, I draw god awful refrences(sic) to said binge. I kinda like how this came out, simple but screams "witch craft". I like how the glitter doesn't ruin it either. It kinda adds





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*Page 52 TRANSCRIPT:*
We're talking about going to El Paso for our birthday since our birthdays are so close together. We can stay with his friend for a week & go shooting. I need to think about what to get him. I'm sure I will figure something sweet & meaningful out. Multiple gifts even. Lots of kisses & snuggles as well. I'm kinda glad our birthdays are so close so we can celebrate together. It's not like just for me or him. It's for us both. To both be happy. Honestly I always felt selfish for requesting birthday treats, I felt selfish asking for anything ever. I don't feel worth gifts or birthday celebrations but now that it's not just for me & that I can share it with my love. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift. A celebration we can both take joy in. We can both take pleasure in it, & that makes me far more excited for my birthday then(sic) that trip to Reno for my spa trip with mama & crazy grandma. Because now I can have the best gift of all: my baby's smile. His happiness. His love. This will be the best birthday, even if it's the first one I'll have without my parents or brothers. Even if I miss my brothers I will send them birthday & Christmas gifts. But not my parents. Not after releasing private mental health matters & issues to all of the people who ruthlessly(sic) mocked me for them. Lied about me & targetted(sic) my brothers. Fuck them.





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*Page 53 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 25 2020

So Chris tried to send me a package full of stuff, I didn't get a look inside of it. But Ralph opened it & said there were things like clothes & notebooks & a letter. Gave me such a panic attack to see. Ralph said it didn't surprise him, that he thought something like that would happen. But he doesn't think that Chris wouldbe dumb enough to come to the house. I disagree. I think he'd say it was a "Rescue" Attempt. He is that dumb & that crazy. He's always had an obsession with me since I was 14. We just got back from watching Unhinged, it was just so goofy. Not a movie I'd go out of my way to see again in all honesty. But it was fun to just sit there & snuggle & eat a naseouating(sic) amoutn of popcorn. Though I was so close to passing out cause I was exhausted. Still kind of am. I also remember a nightmare I had, where I was pregnant. I gave birth to a daughter, she had Ralph's beautiful blue eyes & little freckles. But the dream turned into a nightmare, my own father took my child. & there was nothing I could do, I remember feeling trapped & unable of(sic) moving or running for my daughter. Just paralyzing fear. It wouldn't happen, not for real, but that is how much I fear my parents. May be a sign to illustrate how ill-prepared I am for Motherhood.





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*Page 54 TRANSCRIPT:*
I know I had more bad dreams but I can't remember them at all. I just know they happened. I know that I still have them a lot but I don't remember them. I'm debating on Making a sandwhich honestly. I'm kinda hungry. But also sleepy. I'm also cuddly but also hungry.

{Drawing of a chocolate cupcake with...I dunno, either peanut butter or caramel frosting and a cherry on top, and sprinkles}

I got so hungry that I drew a cupcake. I would love a sandwhich(sic) though. But my legs are so sore from fucking though. But fuck does a sandwhich(sic) sound fucking great. I could make one but I want to lay down a little bit.

I'll eat after I'm done binging AHS because I must finish.

Finished Season 3, Coven. Now I'm watching Hotel.





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*Page 55 TRANSCRIPT:*
*I*
*Love *
*You*





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*Pages 56, 57, & 58 TRANSCRIPTS:*
August 26th 2020

I'm watching Season 4 of AHS: Hotel & the fact that there's so much sex is uncomfortable at times. They're making the man protagonist like a 100x worse Light Yagami. Not to mention draggin in real serial killers but making James Patrick March an inspiration of H. H. Holmes. Like why include Dahmer, Gacy, etc. but not just call this dude H. H. Holmes. Either it's an inspiration or exgerated(sic) version of real events. That's one thing I am not a fan of in AHS. It's been like less than 30 minutes & my god it's been 2 sex scenes & (they) just were not needed. It's like they took "Show don't tell" as "Show, Show, & Show some more". That to imply something does not have the same effect as showing the action or crime or whatever it is being done. I.E: Sex. Showing people laying naked in bed doesn't ■■ plenty enough to show that people had sex but AHS doesn't understand that. Not to mention Lady Gaga's performance, it's just "Ah look how hot I look in my fancy clothes or watch me fuck him/her". Not to mention she is treated far more attractive then(sic) she really is, that is so utterly annoying to watch & see like she is so ■■■ ew!

Though the ■■■ girl on girl action while being stoned is...intresting(sic). Intresting(sic) enough that I wish mi vida was under me as I kissed him hehe. Funny part though is they respect the tran's pronouns. They all call Liz a she, they've made jokes sure, but not one has been a dick & gone all crazy on Liz. The most they did was call him faggot. ■■ Gaga is such a bad actress like she always looks like she's lying. I'm so hungry again. Though this scene with Liz & her son was heart touching. I loved it actually, it's kinda sweet. But then the next scene was Gaga & ruined it all together. Though knowing American Horror Story, the son is gonna die. ■■■ Another funny part is Iris' tribute video to herself. I think out of all the characters Liz is my favorite, sazzy(sic) but morbid & funny. Plus the most actually complex & multilayered(sic) character of them all. Finally looks like they killed her off enough of the stuipd vampire gaga shit. I HATE that character so much. Just so annoying to see. Damn it, they just killed off the stupid pretty boy. That is such bullshit that it's stupid. Also why all the threesomes in this show. Like in this season there are more threesomes then(sic) Woodstock (or some refrence(sic) I've never been so I don't know at all).

There's also a lot of child death in this show. It's so merciless. But Liz & Iris' partnership is funny. Thought I don't like they're attempt to kill Queenie. I never liked them all co-existing in the same universe. I think it's lazy or at least less entertaining. Like it would be cooler for them to exist in certain universes with certain rules. Now if there were spin offs from other seasons then that would be kinda cool. But to have them all co-exist is so much less intresting(sic). Or like where each sub-category ■ of horror is in the same universe. Like Hotel, Murder House, & Coven all involve Ghosts & other Supernatural creatures could all be the same universe but Freakshow, Cult, & 1987 could all be in the same since it's more like Slasher type horror rather than leaning on Supernatural. Hotel is just trying to be as funny as Cult but also as dramatic as Murder House but as scary as Roanake(sic). It has it's(sic) moments, like Sally being a social media start or finding a way to keep up apperances(sic) for the fashion bussiness(sic) those ideas are so cool. But when Gaga comes in or her pretty boy I can't help but roll my eyes at the attempt. Had to keep myself from dorking out to mi vida about the show. I do think it helps to write about it though.





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*Page 59 TRANSCRIPT:*
Ugh more Lady Gaga, I thought she was no more! Oh well Season 4 is done finally. I'll rewatch Roaknake(sic) till mi vida comes back & I can force him to watch Murder House. Or ride him. Or both. I found out when I ride I cum incredibly hard, which may be TMI but litterally(sic) it feels amazing. I could write so many pages of how amazing it feels when we have sex. Pages on top of pages. I know I have a high Libido but it feels a little different. It's a craving I haven't felt before. And I think it's because I love him. Because I have never felt that with someone else before. I have never craved for someone like I crave mi vida. Especially when I'm under the influence. I'm not sure why, I am slightly curious how it would be on Acid. Would that craving intensify? Would it feel longer? I'm scared of trying Acid with my anxiety, though. Sometimes even THC can trigger me to over thing & have anxious thoughts. So I'm not sure how I would be on something thats(sic) a lot different than THC. I know Ralph wants to try it with me. Could I do that for mi vida? Take that step & do that with him? I don't think he'd pressure me too(sic) an obscene extent but he'd for sure try pursuing me into it. I might as well. There's no way I'll know.





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*Page 60 TRANSCRIPT:*
My dad is also emailing Mi Vida's guests to the point Boogie unfollowed him. I feel terrible. It is my fault, if I wasn't such a useless pieace(sic) of shit it wouldn't be happening. Some nights are harder then(sic) others, with mourning the detachment from my family. Sometimes I wish for my mom to huge me, even when I am so angry & hurt by them. Part of me thinks of all the things I could have done. But what can I do now? Nothing. Is it better to do nothing & sit in bed to only think? to resent my mom & dad for all this pain? How they think my mental health crisis was free to share? I'm still waiting for them to release my rape statement. Or worse, contact Joe & then he can speak publicly(sic). He'll say he never raped nor abused me. But I relive that day too much to bare. And of course he'll never pay for what he did too(sic) me, but never pay for his other victims. Part of that - if not all - is on me not reporting & just being silent for so long. But no one would come forward & finally when I do it's too late. Joe will never face justice, neither will the cop who turned me down. Am I so terrible that my rapist deserves to walk free & seek no punishment? Is that part of my penence(sic), to see that play out? For him to contact & torment me every year or so? I despertely(sic) hope it is a test & that in the long run it will come to a stop.





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*Pages 61 & 62 TRANSCRIPTS:*
It seems now everytime that mi vida has to do streams I count down the seconds till he's back in bed with me. Just for his arms to be around me. New Mutants is out too& we're gonna see it hopefully in a drive-in so we can get high & make out in the car. Maybe I can suck his dick while we're watching, get some fast food before we get there? Just some thoughts about that night. Still counting till mi vida comes to bed so he can spoon me & kiss me & fuck me & make me cum all over his cock. Maybe use the ■■ whip or even the candles. I am in such a mood for sex right now. Especially with the candles & ■■■ whip. Not even the cuffs, just the candles & pain. I'm certain I can get mi vida to use some fun toys on me tonight. I think. But if he's tired then maybe not. Downside to his line of work is how late it goes on. Plus today I've barely seen him. Or at least just haven't septn a lot ■■■■ of time together today. I just want to feel intimate but we will tonight & tomorrow. & for many many more years. Plus it's been a busy Day I'm sure. Well busy week since I got out. Still can't beleive(sic) it's already been a week. I also just found out that Ralph's middle name is Oliver & for some reason I just thought that was the cutest shit ever.

Something about the name Oliver screams "ADORABLE" at me. I can hear him yelling in the studio from the room. I can hear him banging on the desk but I can't tell if that's anger or if he's just pumped up. Or he's trying to entertain the audience maybe? I also keep debating to get my mint oreos with some milk. Because that sounds amazing right now. I think I will get some cause I am stoned as all shit currently. I ate all the thin mint oreos. That is how stoned I am right now. We're gonna eat the flatbread we got at the store & I am so wanting more. I also noticed the witch in Roanake(sic) was fucking. Lady. Gaga. I had never noticed until now. Just now noticing how ■ many pages I've written today, either it's from the boredom or THC in my system. I'd love more sweets with milk right now. But THC also has made me horny as hell too. I hope the podcast upload is almost done so I can fuck right now. Use the wax & drip it down my chest & stomach & thighs. Maybe have the wax dripped as he eats me out. God I need that right now. THC makes me so horny that I can't even restrain writing about it. It's all that's going through my head right now. Is mi vida fucking & causing me physical pain. Grabbing my ass & fingering me.





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*Page 63 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 27th 2020

I saw that little skeleton cat Gid got me on my birthday & it hit. The pain of missing him & hearing his voice & facetiming him. I'm certain mom & dad convinced him that I deserted them all. I just want to hold my ■ baby brothers & tell them how despertely(sic) I miss them. I'm the one who raised them, I put so much time into taking care of them. I would show them off & how much I loved them. But I haven't even seen their faces in a two week time span. No pictures, no videos, I can't get them from my instagram cause it's gone, & it's some of the worst pain I have felt. So much so that I had the first nightmare I've had in a while that I woke up yelling. I haven't had one of those for a really long time. At least before I had pictures & videos, like the one where Thad was absolutely terrified of this duck that was in Disneyland. Or Giddy as Pennywise for halloween. I don't get to see those anymore. No suicidal thoughts have occured(sic) but I have had the "Things would be better if I was dead" type thougths. I don't actively want to end my life but I'm at that point that if I was bleeding out & I had to keep fighting to live I don't think I would fight very hard to keep living.





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*Page 64 TRANSCRIPT:*
Mi vida ■■■ took me to get some sushi & then we went to this nice art store & I got a sketch book & pencils. Then to "say thanks" we had amazing sex haha. I'm also binging True Crime Docs & stuff like that. I'd watch Youtube but mi vida probably doesn't want me to yet. Still can't watch the Show yet, even though it can get really boring without him with me. Like, yes I like some time alone but I also want some time with my baby. Seriously I want a day with him like the first weekend I was here where we just got high & fucked all day. It's days like that (,that) are so stress relieving. Still waiting for show to be over, he mentioned using bullet tonight which is: Yes Please! I love using that thing, it's so amazing. Maybe we can use the candles too. This whipe maybe too? I need that like so badly right now. Still just counting down till the Show is over so mi vida can come to bed & fuck my brains out. I hope it doesn't take all night tonight. Especially with Trump being live. I hope he lets me watch the Show again soon so I'm not as bored while he's on. Then i can have something to do other then(sic) binge watch true crime docs & know every serial killer ever by name till my knowledge is nothing but that.





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*Page 65 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 28th 2020

We just got back from watching New Mutants which was really fun. I may have to make a statement though soon because my dad keeps releasing shit & it's insanity. Some days are better than others when it comes to thinking about my parents. Some days they're just dead to me & I don't think about them. Others feel harder to bare, accepting they don't love me can be hard to remember. I'm just trying to be brave for mi vida. I just don't want him to worry to(sic) much about me. I already feel like a giant burden on him sometimes. But I get to watch the Show tonight, finnally(sic). I think that'll be some fun cause I won't be alone in bed trying to pass the time till the Show is over. I kinda missed watching in the corner. I can't wait till we set up my desk cause it'll be easier to draw with a desk. It'll be just kinda nice to have my own little area. Then I can keep my art stuff somewhere other than the side of the bed where it could get stepped on. Plus I can keep my little Knick Knacks on the desk too. So the Show started...& he forgot I wanted to watch tonight...So yet another night of counting down the seconds till it's over. At least we have the weekend to spend...





*Summary Of Act V:* This section was written when the tardfight between Ralph and the Vickers was really kicking up. At this point, Faith is more just a bystander, even in her own journal, and dedicates whole passages to gift lists for Ralph and her brothers as a distraction. She's still venting and giving her thoughts, sure, but most of what she's writing is just kind of a record on the back and forth between her parents and Ralph over her. She does admit she's less affected by her dad's spergouts and whatever, and really only hurt that her mom's on her dad's side. This is probably the most collected information on Faith's mom that I've seen, so might be worth looking over for anyone interested in that dynamic. Also some entries that look to be examples of Ralph love-bombing, and some pretty big red flags on just how much he isolated her (no phone, not allowed on Youtube, not allowed to watch the KillStream, etc.) Some more postulating and "what-ifs" about pregnancy, how her dad won't be allowed to see his future grandchild if he keeps being a retard, and her mom's still allowed to but she's on thin fucking ice.

But, most importantly, this is when Meigh gets her first mention (*PAGE 71*). She's not in here a lot, and nothing major is ever said about her with the worst of it apparently being in the missing page. However, with what we know now it's kinda interesting putting the timelines together. Act ends with some BIG foreshadowing.


*Random Quote:* _"My dad thinks he's basically God but now he has a small Autistic Audeince(sic) to suck him off & boost his ego so that he beleives(sic) everything he says."_




Spoiler: ACT V, Stuck Between A Gunt & A Horse Race (PAGES 66-77)





 


{**NOTE*: This is directly continued directly from page 65, written same time}
*Pages 66 & 67 TRANSCRIPT:*
I can hear him yelling, hope it's all ok. But I won't know till it's over. So I'll just sit & wait till then. I drew so much my hand hurts. I'd love to watch some ■■■ drawing videos. Like it'sfun2draw was one of my favorite channels that had drawing videos. But Ralph still wants me off Youtube. So no drawing videos yet. Maybe if I ask tommorow(sic), like so he can supervise me? Or just so he knows I'm (not?) watching videos about us or everything. I don't know but Netflix can get boring after awhile. Like I don't just watch drama or commentary videos. And frankly I don't want to just yet cause it's just too much effort to pay attention to it all. I can hear him still yelling, I wonder how much longer. My dad was threatening to send wellness checks...After disowning me not just publicly but also released a shit ton of very private info about my mental health. Yet he has the nerve to threaten wellness checks if I don't have contact? Sometimes all of this makes me want to cry in agony & disbelief. That my mom, who has her fair share of mental issues, can say she approves of the releasing of my mental treatment? She ran into her room with a god damn knife threatening to kill herself. But if I released that I'd be protrayed(sic) publicly by my own parents that I have to be sociopathic to bring it up.

My mom suffers from very similar trauma as me. Which is why her standing by my dad is so shocking. She actively picked my dad over me. Her daughter, her first baby. I'm the one who was in her womb for 9 months but I guess her husband - the one she claimed to be abusive to her - is more important to her then(sic) her first born. Well no wonder I have low self esteem when my mother will happily let a man come before me. He can have support through releasing my private medical crisis but she can't call me more then(sic) once in the hispital or tell the truth about Chris being told where I am. I'm not even questioning about my dad because he didn't carry me around for 9 months. But apparently my dad released mroe text messages that he had with mi vida. I don't know what he's trying to accomplish with doing that, like what's so incrimnating(sic) about asking for me ■■■ property back or saying if he doesn't stop that we'll need to put out a statement from me.





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*Page 68 TRANSCRIPT:*
August 29th 2020

Ideas for gifts for mi vida:

- KillStream shot glass
- Lemon ■ car decal (with words "superchat mobile")
- Bojack shirts
- Commissoned(sic) art
- New desk chair

I think for Christmas I'm gonna buy the boys gifts & just sending them in a package wrapped & ready for opening. I'll do (the) same with every family member that I can send gifts to. More doctor Who things for Eyore, something Avatar: TLAB for William, Giddy may like a stuffed Apa(sic) plushie, & Thad can have something Mickey Mouse related. Maybe a Goofy hat? It's only barely September but I like planning this shit out. I don't think I'll get mom & anything this year. I think for Chad, April, & the kids (their present?) can be a fleece blanket with family pictures of them? & Some family bible quote in the middle? For crazy grandma I'll make some Supernatural themed mug, actually scrath that I'm gonna make her that Bar Bar Jinks mug. Grandma Reatha is always the hardest but maybe like one of those glass blocks w/ the picture in them w/ like her & grandpa Bruce's wedding picture?





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*Page 69 TRANSCRIPT:*
Gift Ideas for Brothers

*Eyore*​*Willy*​*Giddy*​*Thad*​- Dalek mug- Cactus Juice Bottle- Appa Plushie- Goofy hat- Matt Smith Doctor design shirt (IE Printed on Bow)- Best Boss Ever mug- Bart Simpson Doll- Jason Vorhees Plushie- Dalek drawings he made me make on a shirt/pin- The Office poster but it's old video game characters- Momo Plushie- Mickey Plushie- Invader Zim inside the TARDIS Design- Mario as Freddy & Sonic as Jason design- Chibi Demogorgon Design on water bottle/backpack(?)- Pixelated Mickey shirt- TARDIS starry night Design on Notebook- Parks & Rec cookie cutter- Stranger Things cookie cutter- Goofy cookie cutter- Dalek "Seek. Educate. Graduate." Design on Notebook.- Ron Swanson Fan shirt w/ his face all over it- Baby Demogorgon & Mickey Mouse hugging- Blanket with picture of family or Thad & Gid Pictures- ■■ Mickey(Michel?) faces allover(pullover?)- Gonk droid plushie- Chibi Demogorgon bending over to pet a cat Design





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*Page 70 TRANSCRIPT:*
I like the little ideas I have for the boys, hopefully I can get a phone so I can draw some of these designs. Then I can upload them on shirts or whatever. I may get them multiple gifts too, I think it'll be a good idea. Thad is a little hard to figure gifts out (for) since he's still tiny. First I need to get Willy's birthday gift. The(sic) Eyore's, then all their Christmas gifts, ■■■■■ Thad's birthday gift, then Giddy's.





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*Page 71 TRANSCRIPT:*
September 2nd 2020

It's now September, my 19th birthday is now 15 days away. I'm now closer to 20 then(sic) I am 17 which is...a weird feeling in all honesty. Still haven't spoken to any family, or friends. We're going to DC this weekend & may stay at Yoni's, if not then Yoni offered to split pay for a room for as a "Sorry" for when we got incoherently drunk. We're gonna meet one of mi vida's patrons & we're gonna see May & Grey & Riley & his girlfriend. I like hanging out with all of them, they're really fun and nice. I do feel a little nervous just cause I'm certain they know what happened. I know Christain & Yoni know about the video being leaked so it's a given to think that they know too & maybe even more. But they're nice so I don't think it'll be brought up. Mi vida also bought me the whole Kingdom Hearts collection! I finnally(sic) got to the part with the Satan from Fantasia which is always a bitch. I don't know why they don't have a save point after you defeat Satan. Or let you go back to the old save point. I think I'll just try the Hercules cup again, it's not as hard (except for defeating Cloud).





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*Page 72 TRANSCRIPT:*
Still kinda wish I could watch some drawing videos, especially some Disney drawing videos. I forgot to ask if it would be ok just to watch drawing videos. I don't think he'd mind but i want confimation(sic) beforehand so if I do we won't end up fighting or something. I could try from memory but that is 10x harder than from refrence(sic) or from a "How-to" video. I'll ask tonight, I'd really like to draw some Disney stuff like in Cali Adventures in the little drawing class they have. ■ Have to wait for the Show to be over so I can spend some time with mi vida.






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*Page 73 TRANSCRIPT:*
September 3rd 2020

So dad got into my Discord after lying in a note that he didn't have acess(sic) to my accounts or devices . Then he keeps threatening to have mi vida arrested but...for what? The video was recorded with my consent, there's no evidence mi vida leaked it, he & I have no responded to him& most mi vida has done is say that he wont' be able to see his grandkid because he's done this: which is true. If my mom tells me she doesn't support what my dad has done then I'll let her see her grandchild but if she is supporting this harrassment(sic) & lies then she won't be able too(sic) either. My brothers can see whatever kid me & mi vida have because they haven't done anything wrong nor have they betrayed me in such a way. My dad thinks he's basically God but now he has a small Autistic Audeince(sic) to suck him off & boost his ego so that he beleives(sic) everything he says. Even if it's a lie. I've wanted to cry from this all so badly because it is heart breaking but I'm trying to be as tough as I can.





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*Page 74 TRANSCRIPT:*
I may have to put out a statement but I don't know. This weekend ■■ will hopefully be a relief, we may leave tommorow(sic) instead for DC. We're gonna see May, Grey, Riley, Riley's GF, Christain, Yoni, & a few more people so it'll definetly(sic) be busy enough to distract me from everything & being without my phone & no communication w/ anyone else right now. Past 2 days I've just been playing Kingdom Hearts which is honestly very therapuatic(sic). I'm still drawing too so I'm not just playing video games all day. I've been having dreams where my birthday gift to mi vida is a positive pregnancy test in a little box. Honestly I would be very happy to do that too, it would be adorable to see his reaction to that too. I think he'd be really happy but first I'd need to be pregnant for any of that to work. Maybe I am & that's why I'm having those dreams? Doubt it but I'd love that so much even if I'm ■■■ not trying but we still aren't using any birth control so it's possible but not sure how likely it is. Maybe by Christmas & I could buy a little onesie that says "Can't abort the retort" with the test on top of it. I hope that's how it works out honestly.





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*Page 75 TRANSCRIPT:*
Would a baby bring us closer right now? Would it make us spend more time? I assume yes but of course I know nothing about any of it. Now I have to wait for the podcast to be uploaded which feels like forever sometimes. I just really wanna spend time with mi vida already. It feels like this week we haven't spent any time together. I know he has work & all but I just feel a little lonely without him all day except for a few hours at night. But we'll thankfully have the weekend with friends. But I'll prusade(sic) mi vida to press on my back cause it needs to pop like really badly. Also just hit me: dad is trying to get mi vida arrested for just being with me but he's fine with Chris. A man who actively groomed me when I was 14 & would abuse me all the time. So he's okay to talk with & support, but the one actively not only helping my mental health but also actively risked his carrer(sic) for me. The one who didn't abuse me as a young teen. But it's a-ok to give Chris my location & tell him I was in the hospital. It's been so hard to not break down crying.





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*Pages 76 & 77 TRANSCRIPTS:*
I still really hope that the weekend will be more fun then stressful. It seems like it will be, thankfully. & it doesn't seem like May hates me. She was asking mi vida what was my phone situation cause she was trying to check up on me & make sure I was ok. Which made me feel better cause I really like her. She & I get alone very well & it's good cause I don't have any friends here so having ones I can see more often is really great honestly. It's been great to get out & hang out with people that are nice. I wonder if people sale(sic) actual "Sticky Quips" cause I want some just for the sake of it. Also wonder if someone does custom panties cause I think if I made one for mi vida for his birthday or Christmas (it) would be fun to do. I have a bunch of ideas for gifts for him for his birthday & Christmas. Alot of that I think he'll really like which makes me all excited cause I really wanna work hard on those gifts. But it means I'll have to save up alot for every thing. I think the personalize stuff means alot more cause it's some extra thought into it & it's also fun to make personalized gifts. Though if we're leaving tomorrow I need to do some laundry so I can actually wear some clean clothing.

I'm gonna try my best to not get too drunk this weekend either, I think that's partially why I'm not pregnant yet is because of how heavily I was drinking. So maybe if I lay off more then it'll increase my chances which is what I kinda want. Not as like a top piroty(sic) but I'd like it in my life, especially since I don't have any blood family around or in contact. My own little one that I know is blood would be nice for the times I miss my family.





*Summary Of Act VI:* Essentially the "FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD" climax, complete with a big, dramatic letter she wrote addressing her parents. Some of the anger understandable, some of it not so much, but boy howdy is it full of so much pent-up rage I'd say it's worth the read (*PAGES 85-88*).

One or two more mentions of Meigh, but the only major thing there is that apparently if Ralph ever kicked Faith out for whatever reason, she would have just gone and stayed with Meigh instead of her parents. Even more mentions of her ex Chris, as has been prevalent throughout this whole thing, but this time she also mentions this "Joe" character again, who is the alleged rapist she name-dropped back in Act IV. Lots of legal speak from her, a lot of which makes no sense, and very clearly just parroted from Ralph. Mentions the *Godwinson* interview with her parents and how that made her feel. Makes it known that she really has no idea what account hacking actually is, and still outright refuses to believe that Ralph released the Gunt tape.

Ralph apparently made the suggestion that they get married so that her next of kin rights go to him, which sounds more like a threat to me than anything, but alright (*PAGE 79*). We then get the big XANDER reveal (*PAGES 89-90*).

And the very last entry is kinda surreal, in hindsight. A perfect yet depressing cliffhanger for all the insane drama that followed.



*Random Quote:* _"Don't fetishize you're own sadness."_




Spoiler: ACT VI, Gonna Carry That Guntling (PAGES 78-93)





 




 


*Pages 78, 79, 80, & 81 TRANSCRIPTS:*
September 9th 2020

The weekend was fun, however I did get pretty messed up honestly. I got sick from how much I drunk. Thankfully at harry's they never bother to card me. I think it's because they don't assumme(sic) Ralph isn't stupid enough to date someone under 21. Dad & mom did an interview with Godwinson which broke me honestly. It just shows me they really don't care about me. Just about making a point. My parents also hacked into my shit, which is illegal. I've tried not crying so much because of it. It also ruins any chance at legal action against Joe. Not like they care that they've ruined my rape case. I'm not perfect nor am I the best person ever, but do I deserve having any form of justice against my rape taken away by my own parents? There is a difference between a bunch of random people online trying to discredit me, but my own parents publicly? They've not only ruined my chance at finding closure & justice but any chance at a carreer(sic) that I despertely(sic) wanted. That was all done by my parents. They also assume just because if Ralph kicked me out I'd go home & not to anyone else like May or even Shadonna. I had to put out a statement to try & address all this shit. It hurts."

Am I just that worthless that my own mom & dad attack me like this, my own parents who ruined any chance I had at finding closer & justice? I know what I did was beyond terrible, but is this what I am worth to my parents? It's so hard to even think how my own parents did that to me. & how they could do the stream that had to have my brothers away for 3 hours. It still kills me to think about any of it. Ralph says we should get married so that legally my parents can't do shit & how my next of kin rights go to him. It also means if we need to get a restraing(sic) order against my parents then it will cover ■■ us both rather then(sic) needing two seperate(sic) orders. What if now of all times I got pregnant? It honestly might be a happy thing. A little bundle of joy to call our own & to look forward to, it would be nice to do. But if I was my parents would fight harder to get me home because they will say some bullshit like their grand child would be ruined. I just filled up my sketch book & even made some sticker & tattoo designs & now my hand is in so much pain. Dad keeps claiming he's pressing legal charges but I can't even think of one. Plus all the "evidence" is through illegal means, it's admissable.

Yet they can't address how they ruined my chances at my civil case. They're talking so much shit & siding with people who actively wished for me to self-harm, mocked my sexual assault, ■■■■ played on my mental health, all because they don't like Ralph? I don't know how anyone doesn't see this as pathetic? Also again what legal grounds do they have? Revenge Porn doesn't work since I was the one in the video & won't press charges because I don't beleive(sic) Ralph released it. They can't use messages on private accounts since it's my account. So drug use? But that's not something they can press charges on because it's not a crime with a victim. Then they went on about how I "could've had such a nice wedding" if I did what they said. How is that not fucking abusive & naracissitic(sic)? It's pathetic & sad & stupid beyond all beleif(sic). What will they do next, Swat us? All for "my sake"? I wouldn't put it past them to do.

I think we should post the notes since they're so fond of releasing of ■■■ private shit. I miss texting May & talking to Shadonna about this all & it kills me so much. I really hate that it's all happening I hate my parents are this heartless. I hope it causes them a fucking divorce & my grandmas disowning them.





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*Page 82 TRANSCRIPT:*
September 10th 2020

I wish I had a phone right now just so I could design Ralph's birthday gift since it's only 10 days away. I wanna get him a little short glass with the KillStream logo or something Bojack or both. If my parents didn't steal money off my card I should have enough for multiple things. I'd love to search Etsy for ideas but with no phone or laptop I can't whish is irratating(sic) especially since we have the open phone policy so he can see any gift I search for. I'll have to talk to him about it tonight so I have an idea of how I can get him his birthday gift & to check the money in my account to see if I need to then rage about my parents stealing my money next. Since they love doing pretty much immoral shit to prove a point & it's all disgusting. I wonder what he has planned for our birthdays or what he plans to get me. I hope we can mostly just spend time together. That's what I'd really like since he's been so busy &  working so much. I hope I can start helping with the merch stuff too cause that will be really fun & then I could help out a little bit with everything. Plus I have some experince(sic) doing that kind of stuff so I don't need alot of like explaining on how to do it. I just need something to do when I don't have a lot to do in the first place.





-----



*Page 83 TRANSCRIPT:*
Bojack as Ralph drawing:

Red Cheifs(sic) hat
Black KillStream shirt
Red shorts

Sticker Idea
"Don't fetishize you're own sadness".​




-----



*Page 84 TRANSCRIPT:*
September 13th 2020

It's late but still technically the 13th which means 4 more days till I turn 19. Mom tweeted at Mi Vida yesterday claiming if my brothers sent me gifts that Ralph would through them away, which is completely untrue. Then he tweeted back saying how she should text him but she said she wanted to talk to me...after taking my phone & laptop & refusing to give it back. I cried while Ralph slept thinking about how my own mother has made the justice for my rape unreachable. My mother who herself was molested, instead of objecting to the destruction of her own daughter's case against a sexual crime stood by & let it happen with little regrad(sic) to my well-being. Part of me still wants to defend her even now but it keeps fading the more it comes clear just how little I mean to her. How when she said her babies came first before all else was just a lie. Because if I really came before my dad she wouldn't have gone on Godwinson's show & made a fucking social media account to relentlessly attack & abuse me under the disguise & deceptition(sic) of worry, concer(sic), & love. It's bullshit.





-----


 




 


*Pages 85, 86, 87, & 88 TRANSCRIPTS:*
Dear mom & dad,

I will not write seperate notes since you want to proclaim how you're in this together, how mom supports all of this, how dad does the ■■■ same with mom. I assume you both ■ claim you are Christains(sic), so please tell me what god would approve of this abuse. I'm not talking about the wish-washy stuff from when I was home, but all the current mistreatment. What god approves of releasing your daughter's private mental treatment the day she is released? Something my doctors didn't have a right to tell you but did in hope that it would help me, the same ones who proclaimed how you both loved me & wouldn't hurt me only to look disgusted when I told them how my own father had publicly disowned me, because they did beleive(sic) you loved me. You called me once & didn't bother to leave your number. For a week I couldn't speak to anyone but Ralph because he cared enough to leave his number. You want to say how morally you're better, it's not true. Even after the pain I caused him & he saw all of the wrong i did he not once yelled at me, insulted me, or went to hurt me. He offered me real help & care & actively made an effort to make sure it would all be ok.

"On the contrast you both refused to release my proberty(sic) to the point the doctors were concerned because I had no phone or wallet. You wrote notes calling me a monster & saying I never cut - which the scars on my stomach, wrists, & thighs woudl prove you wrong - that I was not depressed or anxiety riddled. You then publicly released personal information, hacked into my discord - which is illegal it was my personal account - you befriended the very same people who doxxed our family - which includes your sons - the people who ■■■■ ruthlessly attacked me & harrassed(sic) me, who mocked my rape. You went on Godwinson's stream & talked about how it's Ralph's fault my life is ruined when it was you two that have not only put my teaching carrer(sic) in the trash but also ruined my case against Joe. It is a major difference to have random morons online talking trash, it's another when it is your own parents. You want war, so I'll refer to my original point: what God approves of any of that? I've had to sit here & I accept that my parents stripped me from any justice or healing for my rape. I've had to accept that they released my private medical information. That my parents hacked into my accounts, released my personal texts, are going after my future husband with little legal standing but side with one of the many abusers I had who groomed me since I was 14.

Ralph ■■ understands why I did what I did, because Chris was & still is an abusive asshole. That phone you stole has ACTUAL proof of his crimes but instead you told him which hospital I was in & talked to him. You can never full grasp what he did to me. What God approves of siding with a man who actually abused your daughter? My birthday gift is ■■■ just more abuse from my parents. I would say it's hard to take this from dad but surprisingly I didn't feel all that hurt. But when mom got on Godwinson's stream it broke me. Mom, you're the only one who knows my pain from Joe & even Chris. The onle one who ■ understands the pain of depression & anxiety & PTSD & you supported the release of not only my stay at the hospital but the timeline of it being made. That completely broke my heart more then(sic) anyone could ever do to me. Ralph could kick me out, cheat on me, & ask me to get an abortion but it will never compare to the pain I felt when I heard your voice on that stream. What was it supposed to do?

"To hurt me more? It pains me to know how because of all■ this you ■■ won't be able to see your grandchild, dad won't walk me down the isle(sic), & how any day death or tragedy could strike & the last thing I'll ever be able to remember of my parents is how brutally they attacked me publicly & turned me into a freakshow act for the internet to gawk at & laugh at. No one else did that but you. I wish more than anything that I could turn around & hate both of you but I can't. I can only hope this pathetic war you've tried starting ends. Beleive(sic) it or not I don't want to lose my parents forever, but it's up to ■■■ you if that's what you want.





-----


 


*Pages 89 & 90 TRANSCRIPTS:*
September 21st 2020

A very surprising weekend, we found out that I am pregnant. I had some testing done today at the hospital, I am very early along too. They said a few weeks so 3-4 weeks along, most they could see was that I'm devolping(sic) the lining for the baby & my hormone level is normal for how early along I am. I am having symptoms like the morning sickness & spicy foods make me really sick, my breasts are really tender & now having little discomfort in my stomach area too but doctor said it's probably just a little discomfort from the pregnancy. I also need to drink alot more water. I need to eat more too, I'm gonna look at some ways to excercise(sic) too that's safe for the pregnancy. But everything is looking good. I'm gonna be on lockdown tho till the Covid shit eases up. So I'm gonna get a phone so I can have more things to do but also keep in contact with mi vida. My appetite is also way up plus cravings. Specifically for wheat type foods (noodles, breads, etc.) & meats & dairy products. Plus pickles. I'm gonna spend alot of time on Baby center to(sic) just for some info on the pregnancy & advice. I am really excited for all this.

We got lots of support too which is really comforting to see. Alot of people are happy & excited for us, plus it helps out since people want us to have everything set up. I'm hoping by Christmas that we can find that we can find out the that we can find out the gender, I really hope we have a girl but my gut keeps saying "Boy" so I don't know. It's 50/50 right now. We need to think of more names & see what we like. People made jokes like naming the baby Bibble of George Floyd, which is kinda nice to see actually. I like that we have so much support on this, it makes things a little less stressful. Which is key so early on, low stress, lots of rest, good diet, & just taking care of myself as a whole. I wanna keep a little counter of the weeks. I've always wanted to be a mom. I still can't beleive(sic) I have a little form inside me growing. Something that's mine & Ralph's to love & cherish. Once I eat though I get really tired. I really wanna tell the rest of my family like the boys & Aunt Mary(?) & Uncle Pat & Aunt April & Uncle Chad.





-----



*Page 91 TRANSCRIPT:*
September 22nd 2020

I'm keeping a little tracker for the weeks into my pregnancy, at least an estimate of how many weeks. We're going to call the OBGyen(sic) in the morning for my next follow up. I've been sleeping alot too, which I guess is a good sign. I think it means the baby is growing alright. Obviously the first few months are the most nerve wracking(sic). But with each passing day the chances of something bad happening decreases. Still trying to drink as much water as possible along with resting as much as I can. I think I'll try to call mom too soon. I'd like her advice right now for the sake of the baby. Make sure the discomfort isn't a totally bad sign. The doctor said it wasn't completely abnormal & could be from my body adjusting to the pregnancy. I haven't had any bleeding so that's a good sign, plus all of my other symptoms are typical so  I'm going to keep assuming everything is ok. Ralph keeps falling asleep on the couch, too(sic) make sure I'm comfortable. He's really trying to make sure me & the baby are ok. Making sure I'm feeling ok. that I'm sleeping, that I'm eating, it's kind of adorable.




 


*Pages 92 & 93 TRANSCRIPTS:*
*BLANK / Ripped Out*




*Fin.*


And that, ladies and guntlemen, is the last of it. Transcribed in its entirety from .png to text, and preserved for all of time. Though cursed, it was indeed quite boring. Biggest suspense was wondering just what insane typo I'd find next. Had some chuckle-worthy moments, definitely as cringey as any teen's diary would be, but with the added oddity of Ralphamale antics. All in all, reading through this was...just kinda sad, tbh. We all know Faith was a troubled teenager, and holy shit does she have her faults, but she really did seem quite taken with Ralph and devoted to him. Seemed to take a lot to finally push her away for good.

Does give a pretty good inside look into the mind of someone too blinded to see just how bad their relationship is, and too stubborn to believe they're being lied to, no matter what evidence they're given.



Ultimately, all just proof of what we all know: Teens are *almost* as retarded as the 30+ year old men that want to date them.


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## TheSockiestSock (Jul 5, 2022)

I feel like the diary is a coded cursed spell book like the Necronomicon and now that you read it you will be attacked by Guntites.


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## Velanna (Jul 5, 2022)

Judgement Boy, that’s dedication my man


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## Fìddlesticks (Jul 5, 2022)

@Judgment Boy - please spell it out whether you think Faith wrote panties. I think this would be key to highlight considering you've now spent hours reading her writing and transcribing.


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## NicoFountaine (Jul 5, 2022)

Justtocheck said:


> Now that I think about it, it's probably a dildo ralph bought for Faith. Think about it. How would Ralph be able to satisfy a woman when he's packing_ this..._
> 
> 
> 
> ...


ALSO HIS DICK BE BIGGER THAN THAT, THAT'S HOOWHY THE RALPHAMALE SO PISSEED OFF UH-BOUT I. THE RALPHAMALE NOT EVEN COPING. IT LOOKS THAT SMALL BECAUSE OF THE ANGLE, HE AIN'T EVEN THAT HARD BECAUSE OF THE LOOSE PUSSY AND BECAUSE OF THOSE 80 LBS OF GUNT HIDING 7/8 OF THE RALPHAMALE SHAFT DRAINING MOST OF THE BLOOD PRESSURE


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## Justtocheck (Jul 5, 2022)

NicoFountaine said:


> ALSO HIS DICK BE BIGGER THAN THAT, THAT'S HOOWHY THE RALPHAMALE SO PISSEED OFF UH-BOUT I. THE RALPHAMALE NOT EVEN COPING. IT LOOKS THAT SMALL BECAUSE OF THE ANGLE, HE AIN'T EVEN THAT HARD BECAUSE OF THE LOOSE PUSSY AND BECAUSE OF THOSE 80 LBS OF GUNT HIDING 7/8 OF THE RALPHAMALE SHAFT DRAINING MOST OF THE BLOOD PRESSURE


Actually, I keep pictures of all the angles Ralph's penis has appeared on the tape just so that missinformation, good sir, can be put to rest.



Spoiler: Ralph's peepee better angle








As evidence shows, the thumb is where the base is being grabbed; leaving an inch or two of actual shaft and head. That sir, is a tiny peepee.


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## NicoFountaine (Jul 5, 2022)

Justtocheck said:


> Actually, I keep pictures of all the angles Ralph's penis has appeared on the tape


That shit made me laugh harder than it should have had.


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## NoReturn (Jul 5, 2022)

Real talk: How common is it to keep a diary like this? 
It's already come up that she _writes _like a tween, but isn't this style of diary-keeping like that of a preteen as well?


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## Blue Miaplacidus (Jul 5, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> Real talk: How common is it to keep a diary like this?
> It's already come up that she _writes _like a tween, but isn't this style of diary-keeping like that of a preteen as well?


She was instructed to keep it as part of her therapy. She's mentally a child as she's an extremely sheltered retard who had no real life, or real world experience outside of living with her parents and was scooped up by a degenerate alcoholic drug abusing retard on her 18th birthday.


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## AltisticRight (Jul 5, 2022)

NoReturn said:


> Real talk: How common is it to keep a diary like this?
> It's already come up that she _writes _like a tween, but isn't this style of diary-keeping like that of a preteen as well?


Some may find it therapeutic to do arts/craft/writing crap. In Faith's case, her therapist wanted a diary to be kept.


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## Judgment Boy (Jul 5, 2022)

Fìddlesticks said:


> @Judgment Boy - please spell it out whether you think Faith wrote panties. I think this would be key to highlight considering you've now spent hours reading her writing and transcribing.


Well, if you mean in the one entry, she _tried_ to write "panties". But she writes like a kid who had to learn penmanship from barnyard animals on the family farm, so it looks like it says "punties".

Frankly I'm just surprised she didn't spell it "pantys" without Siri there to hard carry for her.


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## Fìddlesticks (Jul 6, 2022)

Judgment Boy said:


> Well, if you mean in the one entry, she _tried_ to write "panties". But she writes like a kid who had to learn penmanship from barnyard animals on the family farm, so it looks like it says "punties".
> 
> Frankly I'm just surprised she didn't spell it "pantys" without Siri there to hard carry for her.


Yeah Ralph and the kino casino were coping saying it says "dundies" a TV programme thing.

I mean we all know Ralph liked to wear women's panties it's just nice to get confirmation. If only he knew how to dislodge the g string riding and chafing his anus. He may feel a little better. But not even medical science can help Ralph there.


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## Judgment Boy (Jul 6, 2022)

Fìddlesticks said:


> Yeah Ralph and the kino casino were coping saying it says "dundies" a TV programme thing.
> 
> I mean we all know Ralph liked to wear women's panties it's just nice to get confirmation. If only he knew how to dislodge the g string riding and chafing his anus. He may feel a little better. But not even medical science can help Ralph there.


To be fair, I don't blame the boys at the Casino for not being able to make out the letters correctly. Most normal people don't have to acquire a skill for reading sped handwriting.

I will say though - and Faith, I mean this with full offense to you - there has probably been only _one_ other time I've seen chicken scratch this fucking bad, and the writer in question was a literal, certified retard whose only life skill was driving cargo from point A to point B. This was especially shocking for someone with BPD, because borderlines are really big on their "aesthetic" and she's so big on Disney stuff. But I don't know, maybe I'm the dumb one and this is just how Ariel would write straight out of the ocean.


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## lolnah (Jul 6, 2022)

If Faith was referring to custom "Dundies" rather than panties, it just shows how stunted she fucking is. Why not say custom awards like a normal person? The Dundies in the show were like employee of the month awards or some shit. 

It still blows my mind that Ralph ever bragged about dating this retarded child.


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## Fìddlesticks (Jul 8, 2022)

Fields Of Rye said:


> If Ralph ever tries to play this off as modified or edited, I can confirm that as Kiwi Farm's resident handwriting autist, Faith Vicker's has a clear handwriting style with notable, clearly identifiable trends and the entirety of these pages appear to follow it. Look at the serifs on the S's and how they have a sharp pronounced concluding flourish when used at the beginning and end. Lowecase D's at the start  follow standard stroke patterns while when used at the end follow a single stroke like you were writing a ro. The dots on the i's are unreliable and seem to be based on the speed at which they are written, as it comes hand in hand with messier handwriting, as are the tendencies to engage in cursive flourishes when writing quickly for lowercase, low ending letters like a or c.
> 
> When writing about getting porked by the hog, letters generally approach the line and then jump back; she's holding the journal at an angle and leaning in usually, and the cursive flourishing diminishes, which would usually denote that she was writing them more slowly. Why? Your guess. Mine would be writing slower because pen, but who knows. When she writes about liking pain it has clearly been written quite quickly, again, your guess is as good as mine. Seriously, read what I just wrote. You think I've even been within a mile of a woman?
> 
> ...



Hello calligraphy autist. Since the previous thread got merged and fucked. Please can you also share your opinion of whether Faith wrote "panties".  As I believe you didn't  make mention of this in the OG thread.

@Judgment Boy - It wasn't kino casino interpreting her handwriting. They took a gunt guards post about it as word because they got butt munched about not having faith's diary content.


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## Fields Of Rye (Jul 8, 2022)

Fìddlesticks said:


> Hello calligraphy autist. Since the previous thread got merged and fucked. Please can you also share your opinion of whether Faith wrote "panties".  As I believe you didn't  make mention of this in the OG thread.
> 
> @Judgment Boy - It wasn't kino casino interpreting her handwriting. They took a gunt guards post about it as word because they got butt munched about not having faith's diary content.


Uh, okay holy shit, this says "undies". Unironically this is an almost a clear cut gold standard for someone trying to forge handwriting; you are supposed to flip the page upside down. Reason is you tend to focus more on making the letter than you are copying the oddities of their handwriting. Granted, it's one letter, but one letter here is all it would take. That P glows in the dark. I thought this said "Dandies" the first time I read it, which I've heard old people use to refer to leather boating shoes rich kids used to wear back in the day.

A "t" and a d have completely different stroke patterns due to the nature in which you well, make them. you don't cross your t in cursive mid stroke because doing so would add a loop and completely fuck everything up readability wise. All of Faiths As over curve, except for that single A, which perfectly resembles her Us.
I wasn't sure before, but when we add the subtext of Horse talking introducing this as "diary of a whorey kid", Horse being an artist, Horse being (allegedly) a woman, and you have the perfect profile.

See, gentlemen, imagine you had a girlfriend. Difficult I know. But imagine you had a girlfriend, and it was your birthday, and after dinner that bitch opens up her blouse and she's wearing a bra with goddamn Helvetica diagonal font that says "Fuck me harder than Ethan Ralph fucks up his life". And as the image of Ethan Ralph combined with that terrible font murders the mood, you would come to the conclusion that obviously, she wanted to fuck. Horse changed what would have been what has been a joke gift in my friend group for years into what she thought would make Faith sound even more downbad. We all read it as buying panties for Ralph.
I guess you could argue that it was just a misspelling of panties, which idk, or that she was talking about "pundies", which was like a brand? Could be dandies too, but again, she's not a rich southern kid in the 1950s so I doubt she uses that term.


 <---- You dropped this king. I know my place.







Also, closing notes, I'm tired of hearing what I'm sure is a bunch of crab clawed chicken scratchers whining about how bad Faith's handwriting is. Its pretty par for the course. Unlike you crab niggas throwing stones in your crab nigga  glass bucket houses. Typing one letter at a time with your fucked up meatly claw hands.


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## Saint Agustin (Jul 8, 2022)

Fields Of Rye said:


> Uh, okay holy shit, this says "undies". Unironically this is an almost a clear cut gold standard for someone trying to forge handwriting; you are supposed to flip the page upside down. Reason is you tend to focus more on making the letter than you are copying the oddities of their handwriting. Granted, it's one letter, but one letter here is all it would take. That P glows in the dark. I thought this said "Dandies" the first time I read it, which I've heard old people use to refer to leather boating shoes rich kids used to wear back in the day.
> 
> A "t" and a d have completely different stroke patterns due to the nature in which you well, make them. you don't cross your t in cursive mid stroke because doing so would add a loop and completely fuck everything up readability wise. All of Faiths As over curve, except for that single A, which perfectly resembles her Us.
> I wasn't sure before, but when we add the subtext of Horse talking introducing this as "diary of a whorey kid", Horse being an artist, Horse being (allegedly) a woman, and you have the perfect profile.
> ...


I find this intensely interesting, however I must rate you Autistic cause it fucking is.

Love your expertise, but goddamn dude, like  you are quite on the spectrum.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 8, 2022)

Fields Of Rye said:


> Uh, okay holy shit, this says "undies". Unironically this is an almost a clear cut gold standard for someone trying to forge handwriting; you are supposed to flip the page upside down. Reason is you tend to focus more on making the letter than you are copying the oddities of their handwriting. Granted, it's one letter, but one letter here is all it would take. That P glows in the dark. I thought this said "Dandies" the first time I read it, which I've heard old people use to refer to leather boating shoes rich kids used to wear back in the day.
> 
> A "t" and a d have completely different stroke patterns due to the nature in which you well, make them. you don't cross your t in cursive mid stroke because doing so would add a loop and completely fuck everything up readability wise. All of Faiths As over curve, except for that single A, which perfectly resembles her Us.
> I wasn't sure before, but when we add the subtext of Horse talking introducing this as "diary of a whorey kid", Horse being an artist, Horse being (allegedly) a woman, and you have the perfect profile.
> ...


See this right here is why people say Autism is a superpower.

It confirms she was angry at Ralph too btw, changing it to Panties doesn't just make Faith (in the Pedo Horses mind) look bad, it makes Ralph look like a faggot, she had to have known we would mock the shit out of him for that, on top of the "HOLD HIM WHEN HE WHIMPERS" bit.
It confirms Pedosu is angry at Ralph, and the way he freaked over @Alinktothefacts leaking Meighs messages, plus Meigh going to Show Feets house, I sense trouble in the Ralphashack...


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## Fields Of Rye (Jul 8, 2022)

Saint Agustin said:


> I find this intensely interesting, however I must rate you Autistic cause it fucking is.
> 
> Love your expertise, but goddamn dude, like  you are quite on the spectrum.


I wear my badge with honor. The jews fear the Calligraphy Wizard. Mostly because anyone willing to dedicate any significant time to fucking handwriting is probably a low functioning sociopath. Being jewish probably has little to do with it actually


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## Big Fat Frog (Jul 9, 2022)

I think it clearly says ‘pundies,’ which after briefly looking up, is a type of underwear that has various designs and puns on them. They do make them for men, which would make sense if she wanted to buy custom ones for Ralph. However, we know Ralph doesn’t wear underwear so it’s a pretty shitty gift (way to think what the Ralphamale really wants, Faith). What does make even more sense though is that Faith would definitely wear this faggoty shit.


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## Fields Of Rye (Jul 9, 2022)

Big Fat Frog said:


> I think it clearly says ‘pundies,’ which after briefly looking up, is a type of underwear that has various designs and puns on them. They do make them for men, which would make sense if she wanted to buy custom ones for Ralph. However, we know Ralph doesn’t wear underwear so it’s a pretty shitty gift (way to think what the Ralphamale really wants, Faith). What does make even more sense though is that Faith would definitely wear this faggoty shit.
> 
> View attachment 3473601
> View attachment 3473612


I found those too but they don't make custom ones.


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## Fannyscum (Jul 9, 2022)

Fields Of Rye said:


> Uh, okay holy shit, this says "undies". Unironically this is an almost a clear cut gold standard for someone trying to forge handwriting; you are supposed to flip the page upside down. Reason is you tend to focus more on making the letter than you are copying the oddities of their handwriting. Granted, it's one letter, but one letter here is all it would take. That P glows in the dark. I thought this said "Dandies" the first time I read it, which I've heard old people use to refer to leather boating shoes rich kids used to wear back in the day.
> 
> A "t" and a d have completely different stroke patterns due to the nature in which you well, make them. you don't cross your t in cursive mid stroke because doing so would add a loop and completely fuck everything up readability wise. All of Faiths As over curve, except for that single A, which perfectly resembles her Us.
> I wasn't sure before, but when we add the subtext of Horse talking introducing this as "diary of a whorey kid", Horse being an artist, Horse being (allegedly) a woman, and you have the perfect profile.
> ...



Ralph wanted to let you know that everything you said was 100% accurate: 

Tweet | Archive


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## Jack Awful (Jul 9, 2022)

Fannyscum said:


> Ralph wanted to let you know that everything you said was 100% accurate:
> View attachment 3475635
> Tweet | Archive


I agree with Ralph, assuming it says undies is serial killer shit. It clearly says panties.


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## Sam Losco's Wife (Jul 9, 2022)

I have solved the mystery of the handwriting but I don't want Ralph to see this and since he doesn't have an active account anymore I'm going to put this behind a spoiler tag.



Spoiler: Non-Members like Ralph Can't Open this Analysis. Also NSFW because it's about Ralph so don't open it at work



It says Panties.


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## Capt. Jean Luc Ritard (Jul 9, 2022)

I like when someone goes to the trouble to deconstruct one of his dozens and dozens of lies and copes the only recourse he has is “lol u sound crazy”

And this is the guy who screams alone in his little podcast room and slaps his microphone until he shuts his pants.


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## AltisticRight (Jul 9, 2022)

You know what else sounds crazy, Ralph? Holding onto your baby mama's diary like some weird momento for you to, I supposed relive something? Then sending it to internet weirdos, just for said baby mama to dump the whole thing and bring the spotlight back onto yourself.


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## Fields Of Rye (Jul 10, 2022)

Fannyscum said:


> Ralph wanted to let you know that everything you said was 100% accurate:
> View attachment 3475635
> Tweet | Archive


You know, Ralph could have taken this as a "get out of Panty Jail Free card". It was a free W served to him on a silver plate. The fact he didn't makes me wonder if he can even read it. I think he's allergic to serifs. 

And look to be honest, handwriting analysis is only like a 6/10 serial killer Hobby. Sure you get the attention to detail, but the moment you strike up a conversation with the hooker about proper kerning on license plates you may as well of confessed. She's tucking and rolling on the interstate and you'll be the new tattoo artist in prison by the end of the month.


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## Procrastinhater (Jul 10, 2022)

Fannyscum said:


> Ralph wanted to let you know that everything you said was 100% accurate:
> View attachment 3475635
> Tweet | Archive


Don't you mean "the sicknessu ofu the Guntu subforumu?"
Kill yourself Daimyo you fake pirate weeb faggot.


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## jimmybags (Jul 16, 2022)

Sorry if it's been asked already, but has Faith ever said what was on the missing page that Pantsu ripped out?


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## Jack Awful (Jul 16, 2022)

jimmybags said:


> Sorry if it's been asked already, but has Faith ever said what was on the missing page that Pantsu ripped out?


Gator alleges it was something negative about Pantsu. I think it was about her pressuring Faith into a 3 way and how she felt it was creepy or something but I don't remember exactly.


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## GL09 (Jul 16, 2022)

jimmybags said:


> Sorry if it's been asked already, but has Faith ever said what was on the missing page that Pantsu ripped out?



If you believe the word of Faith Vickers this is what was missing.


			
				Faith Vickers said:
			
		

> One page missing. From what I remember it’s a page that was in regards to May breaking up with digi/Trixie the same night I found out I was pregnant and screeching she slept with ralph. She claimed it was a mental breakdown. That one page is gone. I labeled the pages with dates.


Archive


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