# Childhood memories



## Watcher (Jul 11, 2014)

Let us all post some of our childhood memories. Be they good ones or bad ones for each other.

In Deep Thought since some of these memories can be painful for individuals. So be courteous with each other.


----------



## exball (Jul 12, 2014)

I was eating cereal today and remembered when I was three I got my dick caught in a life jacket zipper.


----------



## Coster (Jul 12, 2014)

Neverending summers with a really old friend who I don't see anymore are what I think of when I think back to my childhood. We'd spend all day swimming in my pool, eat barbecue for dinner, stay up until 2 AM playing video games and drinking soda, and then we'd wake up the next day just to repeat it all.

I really do miss him sometimes.


----------



## Ariel (Jul 12, 2014)

Early teens, spending saturday riding ponies and gossiping about boys with my friends. We WERE The Saddle Club.


----------



## cypocraphy (Jul 12, 2014)

The earliest thing I can remember, I was 3. My family is down the shore and one evening I'm walking along the surf with my Dad. A small, dead sand shark washes up and I poke it with a piece of driftwood.


----------



## Ariel (Jul 12, 2014)

bungholio said:


> The earliest thing I can remember, I was 3. My family is down the shore and one evening I'm walking along the surf with my Dad. A small, dead sand shark washes up and I poke it with a piece of driftwood.


That reminds me of all the times I used to throw kelp at my sister.


----------



## Dark Mirror Hole (Jul 12, 2014)

One of my earliest memories was when I was a baby and I stared at the ceiling light. There was a dead fly.


----------



## Trombonista (Jul 12, 2014)

I think I was 4 when I realized I couldn't see my face without a mirror.


----------



## Aiko Heiwa (Jul 12, 2014)

I remember when I was 4, I got taken to a foster home with my sister. I remember I was in my parent's bedroom in their apartment watching a Thomas the Tank Engine VHS when the police or something came and took me and my sister to the foster home. I don't even remember why we were taken to one, my parents weren't abusing us or anything. But anyways, they did and I was at the foster home for like a month or two (felt more like forever because I was 4) and then I ended up in the custody of my grandparents to this day. (Although I think that since I'm now legally an adult, my grandparents no longer have custody of me or something)


----------



## Goddessoftheshire (Jul 12, 2014)

One of my first memories involves the birth of my brother in 1985 when I was two. I remember going to the hospital watching the nurse take my mother away to the maternity ward and I remember being very upset by the whole ordeal. I also remember when my parents adopted my beloved Siamese Cat in 1987 when I was four, and that cat was my baby until he passed away in 2000.


----------



## Jewelsmakerguy (Jul 14, 2014)

Aiko Heiwa said:


> I remember when I was 4, I got taken to a foster home with my sister. I remember I was in my parent's bedroom in their apartment watching a Thomas the Tank Engine VHS when the police or something came and took me and my sister to the foster home. I don't even remember why we were taken to one, my parents weren't abusing us or anything. But anyways, they did and I was at the foster home for like a month or two (felt more like forever because I was 4) and then I ended up in the custody of my grandparents to this day. (Although I think that since I'm now legally an adult, my grandparents no longer have custody of me or something)


Funny, same thing happened to me when I was like four months old. But I do know the reason, as my mother told me, was because she started drinking due to her rocky marriage. Long story short, she stopped drinking and I've never seen my birth father ever again. So it ended on a happy note, that much I can say.

But I do remember one moment that I _have_ to look back on and laugh in hindsight. See, while I was living with my stepfather, I had this toy box that doubled as a bench near a window (my room was pretty big then). And one day when I was eight or nine, I sat on it, whilst completely unaware that I was _*also*_ sitting on my fingers. When I finally saw the damage done to my finger, I don't think the bruise left for a few months afterwards. Painful, but otherwise pretty funny once I managed to I look back on it.


----------



## TrippinKahlua (Jul 14, 2014)

As you probably can imagine, I can come up with _tons.
_
But for now, I'll tell about the time I was four and forced to eat a goat pepper as punishment for constantly plucking them off the tree, wasting them. I was so naive...


----------



## c-no (Jul 14, 2014)

I remember calling the police once in my sisters room using a phone but never answered. Some time later, my dad came in, angry as ever and slapped me on the wrist. I cried and the police officer admonished me for what I did. I did it because I wanted to call my mother who was at work which I later managed do through my sister. Going further back in childhood memories, I can vaguely remember my sister or my brother beating the Power Rangers for SNES. I think it took one of them multiple attempts to beat the final boss who wasn't that hard.


----------



## Henry Bemis (Jul 14, 2014)

I remember being baffled as to why everyone else could move their eyeballs, but I couldn't.


----------



## pickleniggo (Aug 15, 2014)

I think I was on fourth grade when I had my first realization that I (and well, everyone) was going to die one day. We had some guest speaker talk to us about space and how one day the sun is going to burn out and everything will cease to be. I mean, he followed this up with "but that won't happen for a long long time!" but I remember feeling a slight panic over this. What an assholean thing to say to a bunch of 8 year old kids.
I don't know if this is related to that event, but every time my mother would take me grocery shopping I would dread the check out line because it had all those fake news papers (you know, like Weekly World News?) and they all had things like, "Massive comet to collide with Earth!" on the cover. My mother would never explain to me that this was highly unlikely, but I don't think she realized just how upset it made me.


----------



## Trombonista (Aug 15, 2014)

pickleniggo said:


> I think I was on fourth grade when I had my first realization that I (and well, everyone) was going to die one day.


I think I was six when I realized that. It still makes me uncomfortable.


----------



## House Of Reeves (Aug 17, 2014)

I remember when I was about 7 or so, my parents took me to a wedding. All I remember is the reception, where I went outside and starting roasting June bugs on the mini-spotlights they had rented.


----------



## EDFHemlock (Aug 17, 2014)

I remember being 5 years old, walking on the battlefield after a recent rainstorm, jumped in the mud puddle and started playing and rolling around in it. That day, I was washed many times.


----------



## BT 075 (Aug 17, 2014)

When I was a child I was super sexy and looked like a Beatle. That's my childhood memory.


----------



## Kamen Rider Black RX (Aug 17, 2014)

During '96, my parents took me to some auction sale or something. I can't remember what it was exactly, but there was food stands and they bought me a hot dog. There was ketchup and mustard on it. I go to take a bite and my mouth bursts into pain. Turns out there was a wasp in my hotdog and I put it in my mouth. You guys can do the math over what happened, as I was 7 at the time.

Mom and Pop took me to McDonalds, where they bought me a hat celebrating the Atlanta Olympics. I didn't have mustard again for years afterwards.


----------



## John Titor (Aug 19, 2014)

The very earliest memory was when my parents were teaching me to write my own name. I'd say I was around 3 or 4 at the time.


----------



## Dork Of Ages (Aug 22, 2014)

Not sure how memorable it is, but basically just playing GTA Vice City on the TV room when I was five. That was a pretty damn sunny day.


----------



## Dollars2010 (Aug 29, 2014)

I grew up in the midst of a forest up in northern Minnesota and when I was five I would roam around the forest, where I could come across animal bones. I would take the bones, bring them home and hide them under the porch, because I thought they were cool and I could create monster from them. Eventually it started to smell and my dad got angry and discovered my stash of bones and promptly got rid of it. I was very upset.


----------



## klystron (Sep 2, 2014)

Hunger Mythos said:


> I grew up in the midst of a forest up in northern Minnesota and when I was five I would roam around the forest, where I could come across animal bones. I would take the bones, bring them home and hide them under the porch, because I thought they were cool and I could create monster from them. Eventually it started to smell and my dad got angry and discovered my stash of bones and promptly got rid of it. I was very upset.



We need both a positive and negative rating for "scary." I'd rate this positive though.

My earliest memory is when I was 3 I remember mom would brush my teeth. I'd sit on the toilet (lid down) and she'd stand in front of me and brush. Or she'd sit down on it and I'd sit on her lap. One day I went to wait for her (I enjoyed the time with my mom) and I didn't look before sitting. Both the lid and the seat were up. I was stuck in this toilet like an upside down crab frantically flailing my arms and legs trying to get out but couldn't. My mom had to pull me out and of course my PJs were all soaked back there. 

I got revenge though because a year later I wondered what was in that toilet so I lifted up the tank lid to look inside. Then I dropped the tank lid. It fell right through the tank and through the bowl, destroying everything on the way down. It hit the drain pipe below and shattered. Water gushing everywhere. More pouring out of the supply line. The whole mess cost dad about $800 and he was royally pissed.


----------



## StallChaser (Sep 2, 2014)

When I was really little, my mom would take me along with her to run errands.  One time, when I was about 5, we were leaving the bank and walked past a woman coming in.  I remember asking her "are you pregnant?"  I don't remember if she was actually pregnant or just fat.  Just that my mom told me it was really rude, and me having no idea why.


----------



## cypocraphy (Sep 5, 2014)

Driving with my Dad during a big thunderstorm while listening to "Tunnel Of Love" by Bruce Springsteen.


----------



## Ancani (Sep 21, 2014)

Oh God, I had an..._interesting_ childhood. Here are a few of the highlights?

In second grade, this fourth grader liked to hassle me a lot (not sure I'd call it full-fledged bullying, but he was a dick). I decided that I was going to, and I quote, "kick his butt." The issue is that A. I was extremely literal-minded and thus thought it referred specifically to kicking and specifically to one's ass, and B. I somehow had it in my head that the crotch qualified as part of the ass, and long story short, I wound up kicking a fourth grader in the dick.
In fourth grade, my teacher was kind of an ass sometimes--she was alright a lot of the time but sometimes she could be a massive cunt. One day I'd worn a sweatshirt over a T-shirt to school, as it was cool outside, but it was warm enough in the classroom that I decided to take the sweatshirt off. Trouble was, it managed to snag the edge of my T-shirt, pulling it up and exposing my nipple to the teacher. Her response was to get mad at me and say "This is a classroom, not a strip club!". I shit you not, _that is actually what she said._
I used to come up with elaborate LARP scenarios with my friends in elementary school--sometimes based on shows or books or games, but sometimes more or less original ideas. This is probably pretty normal among young children. I'm not sure, however, that the amount of characters I killed off was normal for a goddamn seven-year-old. (As a bonus, they were almost always characters I really _liked._)
In either first or second grade, I was at my friend Julia's house, and we decided that it'd be a good idea to do what amounted to a two-person three-legged race. In roller skates. Down a rough asphalt hill. Obviously, we crashed...and since I had been wearing a dress (or shorts, but I think it was a dress?), I got some awful road rash on my thigh. Like, the side of my thigh was all raw and gross. Hurt like hell.
I also once punched my first-grade teacher, but she was a hideously abusive sadist (like, genuinely abusive--I'm amazed she never got fired, especially since many, many parents complained about her actions and behavior), so I don't actually regret that one.


----------



## Bogs (Sep 21, 2014)

When I was about 4, the local raccoons had come from the forest and invaded our yard during a party (don't know what for), they were probably rabid and at least not safe for little kids, so my mother sent me and the rest of the kids into the house. Then my mother and my grandfather (her father) had a big argument, he wanted to go outside and shoot them, but my mom wanted the cops over to take care of the situation (she didn't want us to see grampa shooting raccoons in cold blood.) My grandfather not being one to be dissuaded from anything told my mom to call the police, but he went outside and shot the raccoons anyway. My mom tried to explain what happened to us, I think my sister and a few others were crying, but I took it in stride. I thought if grampa had done anything, he must have done it for a reason.


----------



## Kitlen (Sep 22, 2014)

As most people I have told/shown find this extremely hilarious, I will share.
In third grade I was obsessed with dogs, like to the point of mania. Almost every Saturday I would read my Dog Breeders Bible and check out books on dogs from the library. I decided I wanted to be a dog breeder so I could constantly surrounded by puppies.
Needless to say, I was teased ruthlessly at school for this (on top of some already considerably bad bullying). But I was determined, I wanted to be a dog breeder, damn it.
My parents found this obsession "cute" at first, but the last straw came when I told them what I was going to be for Halloween: a dog breeder.
My mom tried so hard to dissuade me, she asked if I wanted to be something else, like a jester or fulfill my childhood dream of wanting to be a Pachysephalosaurus. Nope, I was determined, dog breeder it was.
My best friend who I had known since I was three years old went trick or treating with me, she stood by me the entire time even when people laughed or gave me weird looks for being a dog breeder. Honestly, she is the most loyal person I know.
But there I was, Halloween and I was decked out to the nines. I subconsciously went for the lesbian/dyke look, complete with vest and khaki shorts. Then pinned many of my stuffed animals to said vest. Looking back, I wonder how I came out so socially adjusted today.
Pic related.


----------



## Mechanism Eight (Sep 22, 2014)

I remember wanting to be a dinosaur when I grew up.


----------



## Kitlen (Sep 22, 2014)

Me too! What kind of dino did you want to be?


----------



## Teddy (Jul 26, 2015)

Bump 

(A strange memory)

2008. The year Obama was elected. I was 11 at the time and remember being very happy about it. The only one who wasn't happy in my family was my Dad.

Around 2007-2009, we (only my school I hope) were pretty much "indoctrinated" into liking Obama and thinking he was the "Great hope". The day after the man was elected, I remember everyone being happy and saying stuff like "Obama's cool!" The only kids who weren't happy were these Asian twins. I asked them why they weren't happy and they said that Obama will "ruined schools ." I looked at them weirdly and just walked away.

It's really strange looking back at how we were forced into liking a president and thought kids who didn't like him were crazy. Perhaps this has always been the case, but it  leaves me to wonder what schools will say to kids around ages 5-12 in  this upcoming election. Maybe it was just my school and I'm overreacting. I mean, I _do_ live in forever blue state California.

I also remember stumbling onto a video on YouTube titled "Idiots who voted for Obama". It really creeped me out because of some chant they used in the beginning and I never watched the whole thing. It's probably deleted now.

Despite the weird things happening in the political world, I was still a kid, thus didn't care. I spent my days going to school, playing outside, anime, cartoons, etc.


----------



## autisticdragonkin (Jul 27, 2015)

When I was in elementary school sex-ed I there were lots of things that were taught quite early (I would say too early but it probably is better than too late or not at all) which due to my lack of understanding I acted upon in bizarre manners.


In the lecture the teacher said that we should always watch our drinks because otherwise someone could put ketamine in them and make us be physically there but not mentally and thus we could be taken advantage of - especially girls. I am (and was) a boy but I interpreted that as girls do their homework better than boys do and that if I drink anything in any context without properly figuring out that nobody had put ketamine in it then I was at risk for bullies to steal my homework (being an overachiever) so up to this day I continue to subconsciously cover my drinks to ensure that no homework bandits come (and that it was a conditioned habit that I see no reason to stop)
The teacher also explained that masturbation was when one touches oneself in a way that gives one pleasure. One day I was itching myself and when asked what I was doing I said I was masturbating and got weird looks
The teacher said that we would all go to parties and get offered drugs and if we took marijuana we would get dementia and if we took crystal meth then the next day we would wake up paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of our lives which made me think that I needed to actively seek out and reject meth in order to become an adult
The teacher said that it was completely normal to start dating at 12 and lose ones virginity at 14 so when I turned 14 I panicked thinking that I was developmentally disabled and found love-shy.com which I briefly went on before realizing that it was a dumb site which gave lifefailing advice rather than dating advice, I also found @Marjan Šiklić and decided that his governments get girlfriends idea was stupid and I found this file 

 which was my first exposure to chris
The teacher also warned against hitchiking because it would result in being brutally murdered and dumped on the side of a highway
most of this stuff probably was aimed at the poor areas of the province but was put in the curriculum everywhere and thus made no sense in the rich area that I grew up in


----------



## D.Angus (Jul 28, 2015)

Spoiler: Trigger Warning: Divorce



When I was younger I would sometimes day dream what would happen with if my parents divorced.. I always figured that if this were to happen, that me and my brother would be separated between the two. I always kept thinking: "Ah.. This'll never happen" or "It's kinda fun to pretend.."

I always thought my parents had a stable relationship.. Albeit weird.. My mother would sleep on the couch, and my father upstairs. I'd watch my mother play video games in the basement and I enjoyed doing that. While my father would take me and my brother to the movies. We'd go out to dinner as family, but I never recall them acting romantically ever.

Flash forward to a few years later, and I'm just about to start Highschool, when my Dad packs up and moves out. Granted he moved in with my grandmother who needed care at the time. My mother then tells me that they're getting a divorce, and they both tell me that they love me.. I was shocked, because I had always dreamt it, never actually wanting it. It wasn't a terrible divorce, but it wasn't a smooth one. My mother blamed my father for a lot, especially on the custody. Near my Junior year, we loose the house. My mother blamed my father for not paying it for so long, but years later my father blames my mother for hiding things from him. I don't know who to believe.

Now, I don't even talk to my parents.. After I moved away from home, I kinda gave up on talking to them.. As neither one of them really wants to help me, and when I do ask for help, they do it very passively.. I miss the summers where we'd do stuff as a family..


----------



## GS 281 (Jul 28, 2015)

My oldest memory was my first grade teacher Mrs. Kampsen yanking my by the ear and slamming me into my desk, then yanking me by the ear up to the front of the class room and positioning me in front of the class. I stood there and nervously laughed. She took this blow-up letter "U" and slammed it on my head and said "you are a dumb" (yes "a dumb"). "You will be a janitor your whole life and never finish school. Your friends even told me they think you are stupid when you were sick from school." 

*looks up at his two Masters degrees, CPA certification, PhD and awards for best in paper at international academic conferences*

Let's not play the Lotto, okay Kampsen?


----------



## SpessCaptain (Jul 28, 2015)

My oldest memory was swimming in a fountain in the Sydney Harbor.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Jul 29, 2015)

My oldest memories are just vague recollections of random subjects from when I was around 4. Apparently my mind didn't really know how to prioritize what's important and what's mundane until I was around 8.

One great memory from my childhood is how one day I just swam into the deep end of the pool - more or less instantly overcoming a fear of deep water.

Also, I remember a time when most people didn't know what the internet was, having a computer in the home was relatively rare, and almost no one had a cellphone.


----------



## Johnny Bravo (Aug 2, 2015)

Teddy said:


> Bump
> 
> (A strange memory)
> 
> ...



That's incredibly irresponsible. I assume it was just your teacher being a dumbass, because schools aren't supposed to push political agendas onto their students, especially kids that young.


----------



## Teddy (Aug 2, 2015)

Johnny Bravo said:


> That's incredibly irresponsible. I assume it was just your teacher being a dumbass, because schools aren't supposed to push political agendas onto their students, especially kids that young.



Even as a kid I thought it was against school rules. They still did it though. I thought nothing of it until like 2 years ago then realize it was very messed up and creepy.


----------



## autisticdragonkin (Aug 3, 2015)

Teddy said:


> Even as a kid I thought it was against school rules. They still did it though. I thought nothing of it until like 2 years ago then realize it was very messed up and creepy.


I thought that I was in some sort of indoctrination thing (and I despised school) but it was only recently that I realized that teachers had opinions of their own which made me think more negatively of some

I had a paranoid teacher with dementia who always talked about how America was going to invade Canada and that afterwards they were going to bring back slavery except for instead of enslaving "niggers" they were going to enslave Canadians and I seriously thought that someone in the provincial government wanted us to believe that at the time


----------



## COLEGAY TOOTHPISS (Aug 3, 2015)

Teddy said:


> Around 2007-2009, we (only my school I hope) were pretty much "indoctrinated" into liking Obama and thinking he was the "Great hope". The day after the man was elected, I remember everyone being happy and saying stuff like "Obama's cool!" The only kids who weren't happy were these Asian twins. I asked them why they weren't happy and they said that Obama will "ruined schools ." I looked at them weirdly and just walked away.



I remember some kid at my school saying "I can't wait for a bomb to be dropped on us in 5 months" after Obama was elected.


----------



## Drawets Rednaxela (Aug 3, 2015)

Ancani said:


> I also once punched my first-grade teacher, but she was a hideously abusive sadist (like, genuinely abusive--I'm amazed she never got fired, especially since many, many parents complained about her actions and behavior), so I don't actually regret that one.



You gotta wonder how people like this remain in employment.

While I don't remember doing it, I apparently hit a teacher - or possibly a classroom assistant - in around 1st or 2nd grade. An incident that might had faded into obscurity had it not been for my asshole stepfather bringing it up EVERY TIME I got into trouble at school for the next decade. I was a meek child and remain so well into my 20s. Yet the way the slimy git harps on you'd think I was borderline psychopathic. Hugely hypocritical considering he spent the best part of twenty years smacking my mother from room to room every time the curtains were left open after six, or she made lingering eye-contact with another man. Even as he approaches the ripe old age of 53, he still throws tantrums, or as I like to call them "Mantrums", every time he can't have his way. While I strongly suspect he has a mental illness of some kind, the point is moot since he dosn't believe in mental health. He more or less told me to my face that PND is bullshit...

So yeah, a pretty fucked up childhood. And young adulthood for that matter. Tomorrow I take the first steps towards treatment for my own metal health issues, which I suspect my stepfather may be at least partly to blame for.


----------



## SP 199 (Aug 3, 2015)

I stabbed a trainee teacher in the back of the leg with a pencil when I was 5, I dunno why.

Funny bit is he came back in my last year when I was like 10 or 11 as a teacher and refused to call me my name and referred to me as the phantom leg stabber


----------



## kyz (Aug 3, 2015)

I used to chase my sister and throw sea cucumbers at her.


----------



## Lapras (Aug 5, 2015)

I've had an anxiety disorder my whole life, so naturally I was scared of everything as a kid...

...That being said, I have no idea how I was perfectly okay with watching Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (the 70's version with Gene Wilder), but not The Little Mermaid. >_>


----------



## Guzzlord (Aug 6, 2015)

I remember that when i was a kid, shortly after my grandparents died, i went by airplane several times and i constantly looked out the window and asked my mother "Where are grandma and grandpa?" I believed that when people die they basically live as angels over the clouds. My mother always told me, that they're probably having dinner right now, so that was why i wasnt able to see them.

Some time afterwards i basically stopped believing, given that i also was raised atheistic afterwards, which nearly caused me to get kicked from my catholic elementary school back then, simply for saying that creationism is bullshit.


----------



## autisticdragonkin (Aug 6, 2015)

Mystia said:


> I remember how when i was a kid, shortly after my grandparents died, went by airplane several times and i constantly looked out the window and asked my mother "Where are grandma and grandpa?" I believed that when people die they basically live as angels over the clouds. My mother always told me, that they're probably having dinner right now, so that was why i wasnt able to see them.
> 
> Some time afterwards i basically stopped believing, given that i also was raised atheistic afterwards, which nearly caused me to get kicked from my catholic elementary school back then, simply for saying that creationism is bullshit.


I was told that when people died they went to heaven and took it at face value with the conclusion being that people were just whiny crybabies at funerals because nothing bad or significant actually happened. After pointing this out at my grandfathers funeral my parents promptly told me that some people didn't believe in that stuff and I was atheist ever since (although it took me a little later to realize that organized religions don't like atheists and won't let them participate in mass and stuff)


----------



## bradsternum (Aug 6, 2015)

Eh, I have this weird memory of someone close to me dying when I was seven, and I was distraught. My grandmother took me aside, and said, "People die and you're getting older." I remember thinking, yeah, thanks, that helped.


----------



## Joan Nyan (Aug 6, 2015)

My first memory is getting my foot stuck in the back door of a bus as I tried to get off and the driver refusing to open it until it got to the next stop. It hurt like hell.


----------



## Steamboat_Bill (Aug 10, 2015)

For whatever reason, much of the childhood memories I want to remember were all focused around the entertainment I watched. I can recall Rocko's Modern Life being shown on Nickelodeon; I can remember the VHS and Windows 95... Well, admittedly, all fairly late in the game.

Aside from that, however, some of the few childhood memories I want to remember were:

The day that I suddenly realized how to draw when I was ten years old. Before that day I was only capable of stick figures and thought I couldn't draw at all; but that day, somehow, I managed to draw a shape of some sort and was blindsided that I could do it. And I kept on drawing up to now. I still suck, but not as much.

Aside from that, there used to be a mini golf course a couple miles from my home that I used to love going to. About 2004, though, they closed it down and put a Stop 'N' Shop there.


----------



## Cosmos (Aug 10, 2015)

My very first memory had to have taken place when I was around 2-3. My mom had set up this inflatable pool on our deck and I was just chilling in the water when I noticed the valve on the side of the pool. My little toddler brain must have decided that it was of the utmost importance that I deciphered what the valve is for and so I started fiddling with it for a little bit before it finally came undone. Of course, the pool quickly deflated and all the water came rushing out, at which point my mom came back to find me crying in the middle of a sheet of plastic with water everywhere.

There's a big gap between that memory and my later ones, though. I have no idea why it stuck when a lot of my other memories from that time period didn't.


----------



## Grand Number of Pounds (Aug 10, 2015)

The earliest memory I can put a date on was when I was 5 and Desert Storm ended.

I met an astronaut who was my teacher's brother-in-law when I was in 2nd grade (I was .

Here he is - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_E._Walz

I could have heard a lecture about Native American culture when I was in first grade but I was too scared to meet them because I thought they were going to yell and shoot at us like they do in the Westerns. I was excused and went to the library instead. I'm embarrassed about this 

I went to the Coca Cola HQ in Atlanta when I was 10 or 11 and my older cousin was called up for one of the demonstrations - the guy was a soda jerk and said he was looking for a jerk, which was why he picked my cousin.


----------



## LordDarkrai (Aug 13, 2015)

The earlier ones I can remember is going to Disney World in 1998. Inside the tree in Animal Kingdom, I hated the theatre thing where they set the illusion that the bugs are biting you around. I also remember being in the monorail in the Disney's Contemporary Resort.

Other memories are a mix of stuff from gaming with my brother and dad, watching Dragon Ball on Toonami, and playing on the school playground. There's one where I remember being with my dad driving past the Lego Company. Being huge into Legos back then, I got excited and he took me to some Lego place near by.


----------



## Overcast (Sep 3, 2015)

First memory I can think of is waking up in a top bunk bed in what is now my brother's room.

I also vaguely remember walking in a snowy forest with my family. I remember wanting to go one way, and the rest of the family was going another way. I decided to argue, pout, and stand still hoping to get my way, but I eventually gave in and just ran to catch up with them.


----------



## Adamska (Sep 7, 2015)

I buried my huge as fuck (over 50 dollars worth) allowance into a hole along with my wallet in it because I dressed it up like a treasure box back when I was a boy in grade school. I just got it back today since we found it among my granddad's things: it turned out he found it years ago when I couldn't remember where I buried it, and kept it because he didn't trust me to not do that again (I don't blame him). It had quite a few Susan B. Antony dollars and Half-dollars as well in it, which pleases me since I liked using those two back when they were still regularly produced.


----------



## ToroidalBoat (Sep 7, 2015)

A seagull stole my food once when I left to go to the bathroom. It's probably dead by now.

Really though, I think it's funny looking back on it. I hope the little guy lived a long full life (well, for a seagull anyway).


----------



## Zeorus (Sep 13, 2015)

One of my first memories is the last visit to my grandfather in southern Utah before Alzheimer's truly started to set in in a dramatic way.  I was five.

I remember that he would call me "son" rather than by my name.  I didn't think anything of it at the time, but I realized later that he either thought I was my father or he didn't want to admit he couldn't remember my name.

He had an evening routine during which he would set up a few lawn chairs for himself and my parents and play his harmonica while watching the sun set over the red rocks.  He gave me a harmonica of my own at the end of that visit.


----------



## Lunete (Sep 13, 2015)

When I was about 9 my grandpa had an abandoned trailer on his property which used to belong to my aunt (he had three homes on his property and she left hers for another one). Anyway, me and my cousin had snuck into it and started playing in all his mom's unwanted stuff (something we obviously weren't supposed to be doing). We were pretending we were in a movie my cousin turned to me and said, "Lets make this an action movie!"  Before I could stop him he smashed out the living room window and jumped out while screaming "I'M JAMES BOND." His step sister caught us and told our grandparents. My grandpa was so furious he screamed at us for an hour about how "god damned stupid" we are and how "no one's gonna buy that god damned trailer now."


----------



## sugoi-chan (Sep 13, 2015)

My earliest memory was going to a furniture store with my parents to buy me a bed. I absolutely fell in love with the bunk beds but they couldn't afford one. So my dad built me one....and then built a rail for it the next week when I had rolled off the bed. 

Didn't break anything, though.


----------



## Zorceror44 (Sep 13, 2015)

I've got a couple memories.


Playing the original Xbox.
Watching Boomerang.
Being scared of a cardboard cutout of Jar-Jar Binks in my room.
Shouting "DADDDYYYYY" whenever my Dad came home from work or grocery shopping.
Accidentally watching Robot Chicken and crying because it was an episode where Spider-Man died (I was pretty young back then)


----------



## Pocoyo (Sep 14, 2015)

Zorceror44 said:


> Being scared of a cardboard cutout of Jar-Jar Binks in my room.


Why was it even there??


----------



## Zorceror44 (Sep 14, 2015)

Pocoyo said:


> Why was it even there??


It was just sort of decoration. My parents took it out when they found out I was kinda spooked by it. I was a weird kid.


----------



## Pocoyo (Sep 14, 2015)

Zorceror44 said:


> It was just sort of decoration. My parents took it out when they found out I was kinda spooked by it. I was a weird kid.



I was scared shitless of the Grinch when I was little, particularly Jim Carrey's portrayal.


----------



## Zorceror44 (Sep 14, 2015)

Pocoyo said:


> I was scared shitless of the Grinch when I was little, particularly Jim Carrey's portrayal.


Me too actually. Well, it was only that one scene when the Grinch does that crooked smile when he thinks about his plan.


----------



## Steamboat_Bill (Sep 14, 2015)

Pocoyo said:


> I was scared shitless of the Grinch when I was little, particularly Jim Carrey's portrayal.



Speaking of, I remember that being the first film I knew I outright hated. I was developing a consciousness about what sucked and what didn't pretty early.


----------



## Pocoyo (Sep 14, 2015)

Zorceror44 said:


> Me too actually. Well, it was only that one scene when the Grinch does that crooked smile when he thinks about his plan.



The one he pulled in the original cartoon creeped me out as well.


----------



## Jaimas (Sep 14, 2015)

When I was about 6, a family friend, who I'd been _really_ close to, died. At around this time, my dad and my mom had divorced because my dad was... Well, less said about him, the better. Long and short though, Dad inexplicably just _stopped_ seeing me weekly for his visitations (mostly because his current Wife is a family woman, and by "Family" I mean the kind likely to wind up holed up against the cops in a canyon someplace), so dad, in his infinite wisdom, decided: "_Hey! I don't need to pay child support anymore, and I don't need to how up anymore! I'll just ignore all my responsibilities entirely_!"

His parents, however, saw differently and threatened to disown him, if he didn't live up to his responsibilities, because Grandma and Grandpa would brook no offense towards their favorite grandchild. So, using that as leverage, they forced Dad to stop being a dick and actually visit.

I thought he was _dead_ for the six or seven months he stopped showing up. My mom remembers that well.


----------



## Zorceror44 (Sep 14, 2015)

Pocoyo said:


> The one he pulled in the original cartoon creeped me out as well.


That was the one I was talking about.


----------



## Ido (Sep 14, 2015)

The earliest thing I think I remember was when I was around 3-4 my mom took me to look at wallpaper for my room, I remember walking through the main aisle with her and she asked if I wanted unicorn or carousel themed wallpaper, my mind must not have been working that day because I didn't know/remember what either of those things were, I thought the unicorn was a corn-dog with a horn or something, ended up going with the carousel theme because I didn't want horny corn-dogs.

I distinctly remember thinking that it'd be really funny to tell my mom I was a reincarnation of a man named Dr. Kinder (it was a name from Baby Genius's, the character's the bad guy or whatever and it was my favorite movie back then), I told her I had five kids, one was a girl named Kiki (I can remember that one, and I distinctly remember telling her about this child, I named her after a restaurant I really liked, after all). I told her then that I everything was alright and that I was where I needed to be at the moment (with her), that I wanted to be here with her. Thing is though, apparently she knew a Dr. Kinder and apparently he had passed away sometime before I decided to spin this tale. I talked to her about this tale my senior year of high school when I took psychology and I told her that I had watched Baby Genius's and made it all up, she said that was impossible because Baby Genius's hadn't even been out at the time... No idea where I got the idea to do it then.


----------



## John Furrman (Sep 15, 2015)

When I was 3 or so, I was playing on a playground and fell off. I have no idea if this was an actual memory or an old dream. A lot of my earliest memories are clouded like that.

Also, when I was 4, I remember going to the children's museum and being fascinated by the 20 foot tesla coil arcing electricity over my head to other coils. I distinctly remember the way it sounded and even the smell of plasma from the arcs.


----------



## Bogs (Sep 15, 2015)

When I was young, I happened upon the X-Files episode "The Host" and subsequently was afraid to use the bathroom. It lasted for a few days until finally I took a shit in the shower and was grounded. I retained my fear of worms and leaches though.


----------



## Drawets Rednaxela (Sep 16, 2015)

From nursery to year 6 - kindergarten through elementary to you Yanks - I spent most of my time hanging out with a kid who was basicly Chris-chan minus the autism - possibly, he was a tad strange - and replacing Sonic and Pokemon with Power Rangers and singing. He was also a huge crybaby. I remember one time in particular a bunch of kids ran past him and broke the string on the crappy paper mask he'd dragged to school for reasons no-one bothered to ask, and he started bawling like a two y/o. We were around 8 or 9 at the time and my girlfriend - my other childhood friend who we both hung out with - and I were getting real tired of his shit. By year six we were basicly just tolerating him because we both knew he was a manipulative little shit who'd turn on us in a heartbeat if we called him out on his bullshit.

I know it sounds crazy that I put up with him for over a decade, but his decent from weird-but-harmless kid to total nutjob was very subtle. Plus I was a very altruistic kid. A tad naive too if I'm honest.

Edit: I just remembered he had an annoying habit of using Americanisms. "C'mon guys!" was a favorite of his.


----------



## TowinKarz (Sep 16, 2015)

The oldest memories I have date to about 1983, when I was 5, I remember our family's old house in the city, I remember going to the hospital when my Mom gave birth to my younger brother, and I recall being stung by a bee that was hiding between the seats of the old family Civic (a silver hatchback late 70's model) and I casually stuck a finger between the cushions.... owiee.


----------



## Big Nasty (Sep 17, 2015)

When I was a little kid, the Movie E.T. was all the rage. (Yeah, that's how old I am) Man, I really hated E.T. because I thought he was so goddamn motherfucking ugly. So, one day, me and this girl I knew found a plushie of the disgusting bastard E.T. and we took turns throwing darts at it. I think it was at her house. Her brother had a room that was covered with model tanks, KISS and WASP posters. She was the best and funniest girl I knew at that time. She grew up to be over 6'2" tall and is married to a guy that looks like Dave Batista.


----------



## autisticdragonkin (Sep 17, 2015)

The oldest memory I have is of being excited to go to kindergarten but it being cancelled due to 9/11


----------



## Yawning Bulbasaur (Sep 17, 2015)

My earliest memory is waking up on the couch when I was (about) 2 years old and thinking I had just spontaneously come to life, then walking around and babbling in a high-pitched toddler voice before stopping because I thought I sounded too much like Minnie Mouse (which of course I would have had to have a previous memory of)


----------



## SpessCaptain (Sep 18, 2015)

I just remembered a really old thought when I went to the Aquarium today alone (I won a free pass and I was already in the city, why not.)

I remember when I was a kid and I was walking through the long corridors of the firsts aquariums first tank, they had a petting tank which you could get up to and hold some of the friendly perch, stroke the starfish and get your hand cleaned by cleaner fish. I recall in this petting tank were also small stingrays which you could pet by putting your hand on the glass and wait for them to pass by which was SO COOL. I spent 20 minutes playing with a stingray who kept backflipping back to my hand for another round.

When I returned today, around ten years later and I learned that they got rid of the small stingrays from the petting pool (guess cause they were considered dangerous now thanks to Irwin's death), it was unfortunate for me because that was what I was hoping to pet them again, now they had sea cucumbers, star fish and empty shark eggs. 

Also they have a Jurassic exhibition being built.


----------



## Fallensaint (Sep 18, 2015)

Valiant said:


> I just remembered a really old thought when I went to the Aquarium today alone (I won a free pass and I was already in the city, why not.)
> 
> I remember when I was a kid and I was walking through the long corridors of the firsts aquariums first tank, they had a petting tank which you could get up to and hold some of the friendly perch, stroke the starfish and get your hand cleaned by cleaner fish. I recall in this petting tank were also small stingrays which you could pet by putting your hand on the glass and wait for them to pass by which was SO COOL. I spent 20 minutes playing with a stingray who kept backflipping back to my hand for another round.
> 
> ...



Actually one of my childhood memories as well was visiting an Ozzie aquarium and petting the stingrays


----------



## Lachlan Hunter McIntyre (Sep 24, 2015)

When I was in year 1, (so about 6-7) I bit a girl's arse. And when I say 'bit', I mean 'dug my teeth into with much fury'. I don't remember exactly why I did it, but I do know I had a crush on her. She bent over in front of me for some reason or another and I guess I just thought it would be funny. That was a strange discussion between the headmistress and my auntie and uncle.


----------



## DoshesToDoshes (Sep 24, 2015)

Honestly, I can't really remember that much of my childhood, except for running around the farm and shooting rabbits. That one time I decided to go crawling around some artificial 'caves' at the groyne and almost literally getting pissed on. Being a nerd at school. I was never really that interesting. Although, now I can say that this comic will stay with me forever, despite only being 19 and not having a child.


http://www.lunarbaboon.com/comics/blur.html


----------



## JP 307 (Sep 28, 2015)

When I was four years old, I was chilling out at home watching Pokémon when an emergency news report broke: the first reports of the Columbine High School Massacre. Seeing that the “bad guys” “won” just after seeing wacky Team Rocket hijinks was absolutely mind boggling to Lil' China.

Right after watching that, I went and asked my mom about it, and she was all, “Oh those kids were bullied and then they took their anger out on totally innocent people”.

So, who was the bad guy?

I learned that the world doesn't operate on black and white morality, only gray. Very sobering relazation.


----------



## Malady Twigs (Sep 28, 2015)

I remember when I first played Super Mario World and got to the first flying level. At some point in that stage, flying was required to progress, but I hadn't got the hang of it and just couldn't do it. Time was running out and I was desperate because, until that point, I had no idea pushing "start" would pause the game. "Mom! Help! I can't do this!". She told me to wait, as she was in the shower. "Hurry up! I'm going to die!" Of course, she didn't. The end result was, Mario died, of course, I was really upset and eventually got a game over (more than once) because my parents didn't play games and I had to figure out how to make Mario fly by myself.

Another "flying" memory I have is that when I was little I used to get plastic bags, those that you get in the supermarket, and jump off some heigths because I thought I could use the bags as parachutes.


----------



## DirkBloodStormKing (Sep 28, 2015)

When I was a small kid, during 2000-2001, I was not much of a sleeper and as a result, I would often sneak out in the middle of the night and sit on the steps in the front of my house. My mom, who was pregnant with one of my younger siblings at the time, tried to block me from getting out of the house though I would just climb over her. Because of this, we actually ended up getting a dog, a chocolate Labrador named Marley who stayed with us until his passing earlier this year (late January actually). A year later after we got Marley, we also got another dog named Pal (who I named after the dog in Arthur because I was obsessed with the show as a small kid).


----------



## Tehshigelisok (Sep 30, 2015)

When I was young, I loved to travel. Often I would just pick a random place on the Michigan map and we'd just drive there because why not.

And so, imagine my joy when I found out we would be embarking on a long, long trip, taking us up to Escanaba in the western Upper Peninsula to visit my mom's friend (who had a kid about my age that attended preschool with me until they moved), then down to Beloit, Wisconsin (on the Illinois border) to visit grandpa, and then through Chicago back home. Me, my mom, my then 1-year-old sister, and two of my then-preteen cousins, all in a minivan. The Escanaba leg was pretty uneventful, after that, things started getting interesting. I remember that somewhere around Green Bay, I saw a lot of railroad crossings marked "exempt" because the tracks were no longer in use. Also, my cousins and I were playing a game where we counted every water tower we saw, and I got frustrated because I had gotten up into the triple digits and promptly lost count.

The most memorable part, though, was when we got to grandpa's house. He invited us out to breakfast at some diner, and I noticed him taking his blood pressure before we left. After we got back home, he went into the bedroom to take a nap. I was rummaging through his room and I found an old road atlas (I've always been fascinated by old road maps). I tried rousing him from his nap to ask him if I could have it, and kept on getting no response. Finally, the woman he was living with informed me that she thought he had died. She was right. Cue a sad 6-year-old crying his eyes out, a fussy 1-year-old, and two antsy preadolescent boys all gathered around at the Beloit hospital. For the record, I did get to keep that atlas.


----------



## Truant (Oct 8, 2015)

There was a park I went to quite a bit when I was young, it was around the corner from my home. It had a playground in one half of it, with a tennis court in the middle and a lovely flower garden at the other end. 
One day I was playing on the playground with my friend from school, when I jumped down from a platform to the ground. I didn't land quite right, and broke my left leg. The last thing I remember  before passing out was my mother and my friend's mother running over to me from a bench under a palm tree.
I went back to that park for the first time in 15 years a few weeks ago and not a single thing has changed since I went there last, though it seems half as big as I remembered it.


----------



## Len Kagamoney (Oct 14, 2015)

I used to be scared of the dentist because I swore when I was like 4 I walked in on him using a blowtorch on my brother's teeth
Idk what was up with me but I was scared for a few years


----------



## Tehshigelisok (Oct 15, 2015)

Here's another one:

When I was about 8, my dad (who had divorced my mom 4 years prior) still lived in the next town, so we would visit often. One day, he was driving through town and got to one intersection where you have to pull out onto a train track to see oncoming traffic on the crossroad. However, there was a train coming down the track, which caught us completely off-guard, as 1.) you can't see very far down the tracks at this intersection, 2.) the intersection doesn't have a gate or lights for the track, and 3.) the train doesn't usually go through during the day. My dad's truck was on the tracks, the train was coming, and traffic on the crossroad had yet to clear. Finally, he was able to turn onto the crossroad with the train less than a block away from the intersection.

Between that and hearing of the Fox River Grove train/bus crash in 1995, I was terrified of trains for _years_. I would start panicking if I heard the train whistle go through at night, as my house was close enough to hear it most nights.


----------



## The Viking of Disapproval (Oct 17, 2015)

So glad there's a thread for this! Today I remembered something intense that happened a long time ago.

I was a young kid when Kurt Cobain died. It was all over the news and everything. I distinctly remember hearing "suicide" for the first time during a report. Might've been Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer? I don't remember, but they kept talking about it. I was just irritated at not knowing what the word meant, so I went to go pester my cousin upstairs. He was a teenager, and pretty upset about Kurt's passing since he was a Nirvana fan himself. When I asked what suicide was, he told me "it's when you kill yourself on purpose" and I tried to wrap my tiny head around that concept for days. I already had a vague understanding of death, but that sent me for a loop like nothing ever has. Probably the earliest point in my life that I've speculated about what it would be like to kill myself, even just as a passing thought. It took me a few more years to learn the causes of suicide, why anyone would do that, etc.


----------



## BatNapalm (Oct 17, 2015)

My family's first house used to have an in-ground swimming pool. During the summer, moles used to sneak in from the back yard, fall in the pool and drown. In the mornings, my brother and I would have to scoop their bloated mole corpses out with leaf skimmers but most of the time we'd just use the skimmers as catapults and shoot them over the fence into the neighbor's yard. Extra points if one of them landed on the roof of their gazebo.

They never suspected anything, though the neighbor kid did come up to me one day bragging about how his ratty little dog caught and killed a mole.


----------



## AlephOne2Many (Oct 17, 2015)

I remember being a hell of a lot less anxious as a small child. I guess vegging summers away does that to a person.


----------



## Adamska (Oct 18, 2015)

The Viking of Disapproval said:


> So glad there's a thread for this! Today I remembered something intense that happened a long time ago.
> 
> I was a young kid when Kurt Cobain died. It was all over the news and everything. I distinctly remember hearing "suicide" for the first time during a report. Might've been Barbara Walters or Diane Sawyer? I don't remember, but they kept talking about it. I was just irritated at not knowing what the word meant, so I went to go pester my cousin upstairs. He was a teenager, and pretty upset about Kurt's passing since he was a Nirvana fan himself. When I asked what suicide was, he told me "it's when you kill yourself on purpose" and I tried to wrap my tiny head around that concept for days. I already had a vague understanding of death, but that sent me for a loop like nothing ever has. Probably the earliest point in my life that I've speculated about what it would be like to kill myself, even just as a passing thought. It took me a few more years to learn the causes of suicide, why anyone would do that, etc.


Bro, didn't you tell this story already? I seem to remember it being somewhere else.


----------



## The Viking of Disapproval (Oct 18, 2015)

Adamska said:


> Bro, didn't you tell this story already? I seem to remember it being somewhere else.


Say wut? I don't think I have. Went through my old posts to make sure though.
Maybe you've heard of someone with a similar experience? I doubt I was the only kid who felt that way anyways.


----------



## Picklepower (Oct 24, 2015)

When I was like really, young I saw an educational show on Tv, about big asteroids, and I got scared that one was going to hit, and destroy the earth. Also when I was in like, kindergarten, or maybe before, I was talking about dinosaurs, and some kid teased me and went, "The dinosaurs are dead!"


----------



## autisticdragonkin (Nov 22, 2015)

When I was in grade 4 there was a class presentation on responsibility in which a choice was given between going to your best friend's birthday party or going to a soccer game where you were goalie. The "correct" option was to go to the soccer game since it was your duty but I picked the birthday party since I never had a friend in my life at that point and I wanted to have one


----------



## gophergoober (Nov 23, 2015)

sorry for this wall of text. 

I remember when I was 8 and older (early 90's), we had lived in a house on a hill outside of Tulsa OK, it was a big house because I had 4  siblings and we had a game room that was a sun room that overlooked the pool and a valley and on a clear day you could see very far and at night you could see downtown Tulsa out in the distance which was about 24 miles away,my brother (stepbrother) and I grew up in the sun room which was the designated boys playroom, my sisters had the den. My brother and I were the same age and had the same classes and rode the same bus, I remember my stepmother would always have a peanut butter sandwich and a RC cola waiting there for us, we would eat the sandwich and drink the cola and run to the sunroom and play with Legos and play super Nintendo or even go outside with out fake rifles and play soldier. We shared a room, I had the top bunk, he had the bottom bunk. We would talk about life and play our gameboys well into the night. I moved in with my mother in Texas when I was 12 and my stepbrother would call me everyday, we still had a strong relationship and every time I would go up there on a holiday break or summer break, wewould play in the sunroom and drink a RC cola and eat a PB sandwich. My brother and I graduated High school st the same time, He enlisted in the Marine and I enlisted in the Marine reserves and became a jailer in my local Texas Jail. In 2007 my brother hit an IED and got a traumatic brain injury, he survived but his TBI makes him have the mind of a ten year old but every holiday and whenever I go up to see my stepmother and dad, I play a few matches of Golden eye with him and drink a RC cola and eat a peanut butter sandwich like we always did.


----------



## CognitiveDeficiency (Feb 16, 2022)

So you think you had a hard childhood? Well fuck you, its got nothing on mine.

My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was a faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit out of me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not even like I had a choice, the town fucking had something like 9 people living in it, I shit you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was that I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me she loved to get wet. But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple that I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples that are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each other's sentences? Yeah they were fucking creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were. I swear this thing would never shut the fuck up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time. The only thing that kept me going was my dream to become a pokemon master.


----------



## Uberpenguin (Feb 16, 2022)

CognitiveDeficiency said:


> So you think you had a hard childhood? Well fuck you, its got nothing on mine.
> 
> My mom practically kicked my ass out of the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my dad. My only friend till I was 10 was a faggot prick next door who was always beating the shit out of me and telling me I wasn't worth shit. It's not even like I had a choice, the town fucking had something like 9 people living in it, I shit you not. My entire adolescence was just moving around from place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.
> 
> ...


The only childhood memory you should have is getting molested over and over again for replying to a 7 year old thread to make a god damned pokemon joke.


----------



## Roast Chicken (Feb 16, 2022)

I was in a pub garden on a sunny day petting white chickens that were huuuge. Or at least they looked huge at the time. I was in awe at how chill they were at being stroked. Because, previously...

I must've been 4 or 5 years old? Mum took me to a farm park. As we were walking along a field back to the car I stopped by a ditch and gawked at some young chickens that were huddled together and looking back at me. "Cool", I thought and started heading up the grassy hill with my mum.

Then all of a sudden I felt claws scrape the back of my leg. Not a deep scratch thankfully, just a graze. I turned around and  the mother hen had stalked me up this grassy hill and inflicted a "how dare you" wound to me. Just because I _looked _at her chicks, which looked like adolescents by the way. Fatasses huddled in that ditch not doing anything. Like human teenagers.

Anyway, she attacked the wrong kid. My mum turned around as well and swung her  handbag at this hen, knocking it back. The hen looked kinda incredulous as we resumed our walk up the hill. Thanks, Mum.


----------

