# If you were President of the U.S.A, what would be the first thing you do?



## Jonah Hill poster (May 14, 2020)

If you were elected by the American people fair and square, what would be the first thing you do on your first day at office?


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## Batman VS Tony Danza (May 14, 2020)

Blame the last president for all the shit I'm about to fuck up.


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## The Last Stand (May 14, 2020)

Take a dump in the Oval Office. Try to enact term limits.


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## thegooddoctor (May 14, 2020)

Why haven’t you been ‘halaled’ yet?


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## Steely Dan (May 14, 2020)

Nuke Israel.


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## LordofTendons (May 14, 2020)

Blame a group for a problem and exterminate them. I don't know which group or what problem. I'm open to suggestions.


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## REGENDarySumanai (May 14, 2020)

Watch when the CCP meets up and then nuke them with zero provocation.


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## TFT-A9 (May 14, 2020)

Resign.

Fuck you faggots, I don't need any more gray hairs.


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## The Pink Panther (May 14, 2020)

Slowly, but surely get all the jews out of political office.

It's a slow yet subtle process, but through manipulation and pay-docking from the non-kike accountants, I will rid the Israelites from taking over the U.S.A. and turning it into JEW.S.A. Then afterwards, I'll brag about it to Israel and cut off our international aid for them so that 110 will never be a possibility. One might call this a gassing, persay.


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## A Cardboard Box (May 14, 2020)

Fuck.


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## Niggernerd (May 14, 2020)

Make our relationship with Japan concrete by asking for a life sized mobile Suit Nu Gundam

Edit: get rid of those tacky DC monuments and replace them with vinyl anime girl statues


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## Megaroad 2012 (May 14, 2020)

Ban video games.


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## JambledUpWords (May 14, 2020)

Open insane asylums again and get rid of gun free zones


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## Hide the Pain Sagman (May 14, 2020)

Dispatch deathsquads who hunt down pedo rings and rape gangs, and then dispatch them internationally (starting with Sweden).


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## Stephanie Bustcakes (May 14, 2020)

Have sex with my wife Melania.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 14, 2020)

Grab Nancy Pelosi by the pussy.


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## JambledUpWords (May 14, 2020)

Exigent Circumcisions said:


> Grab Nancy Pelosi by the pussy.


Those are some low standards, dude.


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## Distant Stare (May 14, 2020)

A) Declare myself dictator so I can do all of the following 

1) Get rid of all Africans in the country
That would reduce violent crime 50 percent and raise the average IQ.

2) Enforce the Second Amendment

3) Restrict voting to white males

4) Reform intellectual property laws so that the Chinese can not steal American innovations and sell them back to us

5) Disband nearly all non-essential Federal bodies and departments

6) Disband NASA and sell their assets to SpaceX and other American private space agencies

7) Provide one year for all illegal aliens to leave the United States, and provide to them means for transport out of the country. After one year, institute a death penalty for illegal immigration. Harsh, but it would work.

 Eject California from the Republic

9) Making childhood obesity a form of child neglect by law 

10) Make accepting lobbying and profiteering while in office illegal

11) Limit all government office terms to one

12) Remove myself as dictator


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 14, 2020)

JambledUpWords said:


> Those are some low standards, dude.


Somebody needs to goose that bitch on live TV and so far nobody else has been man enough to do it.


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## Wraith (May 14, 2020)

Proclaim the democrat party a terrorist group and for punishment put them in the deepest darkest dungeon and make them play games where Jennifer Hepler was a writer.


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## Gravityqueen4life (May 14, 2020)

start world war three and get this shit over with.


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## murdered meat bag (May 14, 2020)

be visibly bored when talking with various minorities.


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## Officer Eradicate (May 14, 2020)

"My first act would be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn your town to cinders!"


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## Not Really Here (May 14, 2020)

I would have two teams of FBI agents, one made up entirely of rabid Democrats and one of rabid Republicans start investigating Congress persons of the opposite party with the stated (to the teams) goal of convicting them on whatever felony they can.

A year later I would gather a team of rabid Libertarian agents and prosecutors to target the FBI itself.


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## Bland Crumbs (May 14, 2020)

Get our ass to Mars.



Exigent Circumcisions said:


> Grab Nancy Pelosi by the pussy.



Well that image delayed dinner.


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## Biffo (May 14, 2020)

Make this the new national anthem


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## Tecumseh (May 14, 2020)

Pull a Yeltsin on Congress.


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

I would do everything I can to reduce the power of government, cut regulation and repeal unnecessary and unconstitutional laws. Now the President doesn't have the power to do this directly, but if he could, that's what I'd do.

I'd also gradually phase-out social welfare programs, abolish the income tax, make abortion illegal, outlaw SRS and HRT therapy for anyone under 21 AND require them to seek traditional therapy first, finish the wall, stop all immigration into the country for 10 years, with the possible exception of high-skilled workers & get rid of most gun control laws. You can keep the background checks, everything else is unnecessary, unconstitutional and ineffective.


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## oldTireWater (May 14, 2020)

Move the White House to the rural Southwest, and forbid anyone from DC to follow.


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## Shiversblood (May 14, 2020)

Legalize Marijuana in all 50 states and on the federal level. On day one.


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## thegooddoctor (May 14, 2020)

Honestly If I really was anointed President of the USA, I’d give something To the Poor Fuckers that no Previous President has been able to offer EVER, I know it’s obvious But I’d Give Everyone Free HealthCar. A Luxury we Brits have enjoyed all our lives yet You Americans Still ain’t got, fuck


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

thegooddoctor said:


> Honestly If I really was anointed President of the USA, I’d give something To the Poor Fuckers that no Previous President has been able to offer EVER, I know it’s obvious But I’d Give Everyone Free HealthCar. A Luxury we Brits have enjoyed all our lives yet You Americans Still ain’t got, fuck


There's nothing more expensive than 'free'; especially when it comes from the government. There's a very good reason we haven't done that.


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## JambledUpWords (May 14, 2020)

Open all borders 
Cancel all student debt 
Make all members of my cabinet various minority groups and force them to spend time together 
Reword the Constitution to make it intersectional feminist 
Free healthcare for Latinos, troons, and blacks. Asians, whites and gays all have to pay extra 
Abortions allowed for up to three years 
Outlaw all journalism that isn’t federally approved 
Anyone expressing anything considered “alt-right”, “conservative” or “Nazi” gets shot 
Children used as secret police 
Whites will have to pay for all state taxes 
Whites are only allowed to work at factory and mining jobs 
White people will be fined $500 a year if they have more than one kid 
Interracial marriages are only allowed if approved by the federal government 
Step down from power and force my Vice President to fix everything while I watch an ensuing race war 

Tl;dr Turning the race war meme into a reality


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## Salad Dodger (May 14, 2020)

Send Trisha Paytas to GitHo.


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## MAPK phosphatase (May 14, 2020)

Hang out with the secret service and have them teach me tactics, situational awareness tricks, hand-to-hand fighting, rifle shooting, etc.


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## Synthetic Smug (May 14, 2020)

Either pray for guidance or dox myself as a Kiwi.

Possibly both. I'd post a poll to determine the order.


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## Tragi-Chan (May 14, 2020)

1. Bring back top hats as Presidential formal attire.
2. Political debates to be replaced with rap battles.
3. Keep making strange gestures during speeches to drive conspiracy nuts wild.
4. During negotiations with North Korea, repeatedly refer to Kim Yo-Jong as a “choice piece of ass.”
5. Battle Royale.
6. Have wind turbines fitted to Mount Rushmore, but they have to look like spinning bow ties.
7. Lay claim to Alaska, proclaim the lack of resistance to be a sign of American strength.


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## Sunday School Dropout (May 14, 2020)

Subsidize transgender surgeries for all who want it.


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## Smug Chuckler (May 14, 2020)

Visit Israel to tell the Jewish people how much I love them before visiting the Western Wall.


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## Crazedking (May 14, 2020)

Claim Prima nocta and have a fun few nights cucking men left n right.


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## Forgetful Kiwi (May 14, 2020)

Hotglue the nuclear football and leave it as a surprise for the next dude.


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## funknuggets (May 14, 2020)

JambledUpWords said:


> Children used as secret police



why do I like this idea...


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Shiversblood said:


> Legalize Marijuana in all 50 states and on the federal level. On day one.


Why are liberals obsessed with marijuana?


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## Vecr (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> Why are liberals obsessed with marijuana?



Nah, you got to do all weapons that can be individually and reliably directed against a single person and/or vehicle (not WMDs) at the same time.


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Vecr said:


> Nah, you got to do all weapons that can be individually and reliably directed against a single person and/or vehicle (not WMDs) at the same time.


What does this even mean


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## Vecr (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> What does this even mean



Well, it would be a bad idea to disallow regulating weapons of mass destruction, certain kinds of bombs, etc, and I think that's a good definition of what should be allowed for civilians (and probably most of the military, TBH) to have.


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Vecr said:


> Well, it would be a bad idea to disallow regulating weapons of mass destruction, certain kinds of bombs, etc, and I think that's a good definition of what should be allowed for civilians (and probably most of the military, TBH) to have.


That's great and all, and I agree with that, but what does that have to do with the post that you originally quoted?


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## Vecr (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> That's great and all, and I agree with that, but what does that have to do with the post that you originally quoted?



Because the "liberals" (some sort of progressive mostly) who would normally celebrate the legalization of Marijuana would probably not be so happy about the weapons thing.

Though, I think really a constitutional amendment for both of those things would actually be needed, otherwise the states could figure out ways not to comply.


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## DumbDude42 (May 14, 2020)

first, bring the cia under my absolute and direct personal control while also giving them broad immunity from any sort of oversight.
second, have the cia carry out intimidation and blackmail operations against congressmen, senators, and state governors.
third, use that control over the house, senate and states to force them to agree to several large scale constitutional amendments that give me dictatorial powers, like hitlers enabling act of 1933.

now i'm not just president, but all-powerful dictator for life, with a crazy powerful secret police at my service. this is the point where we start raising huge paramilitary forces and purging the undesirables.


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## Hollywood Hitler (May 14, 2020)

1)Get rid of useless Alphabet agencies (so pretty much all of them)
2) Tear up the Patriot Act.
3) Round up the politicians and media types who participated in the attempted coup of the current president and try them for treason. 
4) Trust-bust Silicon Valley, and charge  heads of companies, such as Google, for treason for working with totalitarian governments
5) Put a limit on how much universities charge for tuition.
6) Stop funding Israel.


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## AkAuZtIk (May 14, 2020)

1.) Stop the southern border wall
2.) Redirect all funding for border security to the military
3.) Use the Emergency Production act to make Elon turn his Tesla factory into a landmine manufacturer 
4.) Declare the entire southern border a de-militarized zone and the cartels a terrorist group
5.) Plant land mines in every open area that doesn't currently have a wall, and for a few feet inside the areas with wall.
6.) Do the same with the Northern border
7.) Co-opt Fema funds and place giant cement breakers a mile off the coast
8.) Pull back ALL military and ALL foreign aide
9.) Block Twitter from service inside the U.S., but right after I use the @Potus account to tell the world to fuck off and Don't @ me
10.) Put all that foreign aide and military funding into actual science and education, after removing tenure from universities and removing "administrators" from every ISD in the country.
11.) Remove all solar panels and windmills and replace them with Nuclear power plants.
12.) Re-institute twitter, make another declaration that I solved Climate change, don't @ me, then shut it down again.
13.) Spend the next 3 years answering reporter questions with my own and calling them rascist.


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Vecr said:


> Because the "liberals" (some sort of progressive mostly) who would normally celebrate the legalization of Marijuana would probably not be so happy about the weapons thing.
> 
> Though, I think really a constitutional amendment for both of those things would actually be needed, otherwise the states could figure out ways not to comply.


We already have a constitutional amendment for guns. It's the second one. States can decide what final solution they want to use for the marijuana question.


AkAuZtIk said:


> 1.) Stop the southern border wall
> 2.) Redirect all funding for border security to the military


Why would you want to stop the border wall? That's national security 101.


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## Shiversblood (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> Why are liberals obsessed with marijuana?



you a bitch


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Shiversblood said:


> you a bitch


ok libtard


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## Shiversblood (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> ok libtard



your saying you hate marijuana because you are a conservative republican? That’s kinda gay actually. I thought conservatives liked freedom. Not letting people smoke marijuana means you are taking away peoples freedom. You damn hypocrite. You want to give people the right to have guns so why the hell not give them the right to have marijuana?

If you don’t support legalizing marijuana then that means you don’t support freedom and you are a hypocrite. Joe Biden also opposes Marijuana  legalization. I will never vote for joe Biden for this reason. (Joe Biden also opposes Medicare for all)

Legalize Marijuana. Not just in the USA. But worldwide.


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## Pissmaster (May 14, 2020)

All Wikipedia editors are going straight to maximum security prison and serving life sentences with no chance of parole at all


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## HOMO FOR LIFE (May 14, 2020)

Nuke button.


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## soft kitty (May 14, 2020)

Shiversblood said:


> your saying you hate marijuana because you are a conservative republican?


I didn't say that.


> That’s kinda gay actually. I thought conservatives liked freedom. Not letting people smoke marijuana means you are taking away peoples freedom. You damn hypocrite. You want to give people the right to have guns so why the hell not give them the right to have marijuana?


My question is why you are obsessed with it. It's such a dumb thing to be passionate about.


> If you don’t support legalizing marijuana then that means you don’t support freedom and you are a hypocrite. Joe Biden also opposes Marijuana  legalization. I will never vote for joe Biden for this reason. (Joe Biden also opposes Medicare for all)
> 
> Legalize Marijuana. Not just in the USA. But worldwide.


I don't care one way or the other. I just think it's silly. Also, I've never said marijuana should be illegal.

I'm a libertarian.


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## Polyboros2 (May 14, 2020)

Be immediately assassinated for calling drone strikes on the entire CIA.


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## Pissmaster (May 14, 2020)

dinoman said:


> I didn't say that.
> 
> My question is why you are obsessed with it. It's such a dumb thing to be passionate about.
> 
> ...



Hell, I think marijuana legalization is a bipartisan issue at this point.  Only olds and retards still believe Reefer Madness style shit in current year plus five. 

I support it because it's just one of those things that should objectively be legal, and it being outlawed is very outdated and based on very old timey reasoning.  Liberals love to point out how fearmongering over interracial relationships was one of the talking points against its legalization, though if anything, it seems to be more of a holdover from prohibition.  I don't know of anything in the Bible that speaks specifically against it, and it seems to just be illegal because it cuts into nicotine and alcohol sales, which had very powerful lobbies a hundred years ago.  But I'm just going off of memory and I could be wrong with any of that. 

Regardless, it's a hell of a lot safer than alcohol, has been proven to have some medical benefits, isn't physically addictive (unlike so many legal substances, like nicotine and alcohol), and even CBD, a completely non-psychoactive substance that comes from the cannabis plant, was illegal nationwide until very recently.  It's also extremely profitable to grow and very ripe for taxation, something that might become vital to the welfare of the country with the total chaos Corona-Chan has wrought. There are so many benefits and so few downsides to the legalization of cannabis that it doubles as a litmus test for a politician to judge their views on the well-being of the country.  At least within Christendom. 

Plus, it doubles as a "fuck you" to the medical industry, who helped cause the fucking opiate pandemic of the 2010s, which sure as shit seems to be getting memory holed by the same assholes who panic over how many scoops of ice cream Trump gets.


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## NIGGER ASS PEE POOPY RAPE (May 14, 2020)

remove all laws and nuke every big city.


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## Shiversblood (May 14, 2020)

The real reason Joe Biden opposes Marijuana legalization is because he is paid millions of dollars by big pharma. Big pharma would rather have people addicted to dangerous prescription pills instead of using natural marijuana.

Joe Biden also opposes Medicare for all because the insurance companies pay Joe Biden millions of dollars.

Joe Biden is also bought and paid for by China as well. Joe Biden has business interests in China.

if I was president I would legalize Marijuana, and then arrest Joe Biden for the illegal things he did in Ukraine and arrest Joe Biden’s son Hunter Biden.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (May 15, 2020)

Cutting grass will be illegal and the firetruck siren will be the same as the ice cream truck(to get children to run out of burning buildings, obviously).


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## Krokodil Overdose (May 15, 2020)

Fuel the helicopters


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## formershroomeryuser (May 15, 2020)

Shiversblood said:


> The real reason Joe Biden opposes Marijuana legalization is because he is paid millions of dollars by big pharma. Big pharma would rather have people addicted to dangerous prescription pills instead of using natural marijuana.
> 
> Joe Biden also opposes Medicare for all because the insurance companies pay Joe Biden millions of dollars.
> 
> ...



Joe Biden is a piece of shit. Let his ass take the cock of America and rip into justice system the orgasm of justice for the people of America. All the presidents are going to suck this year though. So I don't know of all these shit choices who will truly be a worthwhile president. If just one person did not require a hearing aid I would consider it a worthwhile vote


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

dinoman said:


> There's nothing more expensive than 'free'; especially when it comes from the government. There's a very good reason we haven't done that.


According to a lot of sources, the US spends more on health care than any other country in the world. Even when GDP is taken to account.






			https://www.healthsystemtracker.org/chart-collection/health-spending-u-s-compare-countries/#item-relative-size-wealth-u-s-spends-disproportionate-amount-health


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## soft kitty (May 15, 2020)

Sizzlin said:


> According to a lot of sources, the US spends more on health care than any other country in the world. Even when GDP is taken to account.
> View attachment 1295981
> 
> 
> https://www.healthsystemtracker.org/chart-collection/health-spending-u-s-compare-countries/#item-relative-size-wealth-u-s-spends-disproportionate-amount-health


We'd be paying a lot less if the system wasn't ruined by socialism and over-regulation. Adding more government/regulation/socialism always ends in disaster.

Universal healthcare is only good for the poorest and sickest patients. The government has no right to force me to pay for someone else's healthcare.


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## Cat Menagerie (May 15, 2020)

Sizzlin said:


> According to a lot of sources, the US spends more on health care than any other country in the world. Even when GDP is taken to account.
> View attachment 1295981
> 
> 
> https://www.healthsystemtracker.org/chart-collection/health-spending-u-s-compare-countries/#item-relative-size-wealth-u-s-spends-disproportionate-amount-health



We spend a fuckton of money keeping old people alive. I don't mean people who are old and decent physical shape, I mean those whose bodies are falling apart and are mentally vegetables. There are also a lot of fat people here which drives up the cost of health care significantly.

ETA, as president I'd immediately try to tackle the obesity crisis. If that means incentives for losing weight and keeping it off, I'd be open to that.


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

dinoman said:


> We'd be paying a lot less if the system wasn't ruined by socialism and over-regulation. Adding more government/regulation/socialism always ends in disaster.
> 
> Universal healthcare is only good for the poorest and sickest patients. The government has no right to force me to pay for someone else's healthcare.


That's not the argument you made. The argument you made was "there's nothing more expensive than free". That is clearly not the case.


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## soft kitty (May 15, 2020)

Sizzlin said:


> That's not the argument you made. The argument you made was "there's nothing more expensive than free". That is clearly not the case.


Considering the amount of money we waste on social welfare programs, I'd have to disagree.

Also, we already have socialized healthcare. See Medicaid, Medicare, and the ACA. You can also seek financial assistance from your healthcare providers if you meet income requirements; which I've had to do since because of the ACA my deductible has skyrocketed.

The government sucks at everything it does. Why the fuck would I trust them to provide me with quality healthcare?


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## Massa's Little Buckie (May 15, 2020)

Steal the Declaration of Independence.


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## wokelizard (May 15, 2020)

Nuke Saudi Arabia.


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

dinoman said:


> Considering the amount of money we waste on social welfare programs, I'd have to disagree.
> 
> Also, we already have socialized healthcare. See Medicaid, Medicare, and the ACA. You can also seek financial assistance from your healthcare providers if you meet income requirements; which I've had to do since because of the ACA my deductible has skyrocketed.
> 
> The government sucks at everything it does. Why the fuck would I trust them to provide me with quality healthcare?


Just admit that the reason the US has outrageously expensive health care is because at some point you let the insurance companies run the show. And why the fuck would you trust an insurance company to provide you with quality health care? Your health is not their priority, their profits are.


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## soft kitty (May 15, 2020)

Sizzlin said:


> Just admit that the reason the US has outrageously expensive health care is because at some point you let the insurance companies run the show. And why the fuck would you trust an insurance company to provide you with quality health care? Your health is not their priority, their profits are.


It's both those reasons. Government collusion with private insurance companies to make themselves a monopoly. The only way you break that is by keeping the government out of private industry as much as possible, thereby allowing free market competition.

Over-regulation creates monopolies. Look at the state of our internet providers compared to south korea. Most people only have two ISPs to choose from. Shitty giant company #1 or shitty giant company #2. You think you could get away with that in a truly free-market system?

Giant corporations _love_ regulation because it makes new and smaller companies harder to compete with them, cementing their monopoly, which is why Amazon loves to push for a $15 minimum wage.


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

dinoman said:


> It's both those reasons. Government collusion with private insurance companies to make themselves a monopoly. The only way you break that is by keeping the government out of private industry as much as possible, thereby allowing free market competition.
> 
> Over-regulation creates monopolies. Look at the state of our internet providers compared to south korea. Most people only have two ISPs to choose from. Shitty giant company #1 or shitty giant company #2. You think you could get away with that in a truly free-market system?
> 
> Giant corporations _love_ regulation because it makes new and smaller companies harder to compete with them, cementing their monopoly, which is why Amazon loves to push for a $15 minimum wage.


Still, dude, your initial argument of the US having not gone the way of free health care because it would be more expensive doesn't hold water. You already have the most expensive health care in the world. If 'free' wouldn't be cheaper, then some country with completely socialized health care would be much, much more expensive.

And come on. Price cartels weren't a thing before there was no government regulation? I get your point and completely agree that too much government is clearly bad, especially when they start coming up with more things to control. But it's not just over-regulation that creates monopolies. If there were no regulation, there would be monopolies as well. And in the latter case they would be impossible to break, too.


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## soft kitty (May 15, 2020)

Sizzlin said:


> Still, dude, your initial argument of the US having not gone the way of free health care because it would be more expensive doesn't hold water. You already have the most expensive health care in the world. If 'free' wouldn't be cheaper, then some country with completely socialized health care would be much, much more expensive.
> 
> And come on. Price cartels weren't a thing before there was no government regulation? I get your point and completely agree that too much government is clearly bad, especially when they start coming up with more things to control. But it's not just over-regulation that creates monopolies. If there were no regulation, there would be monopolies as well. And in the latter case they would be impossible to break, too.


There's nothing inherently wrong with monopolies. It's monopolies that are propped up by the government that are the problem.


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

dinoman said:


> There's nothing inherently wrong with monopolies. It's monopolies that are propped up by the government that are the problem.


Can you extrapolate on that? I thought your whole argument about the ISPs and Amazon was that it's bad to have a monopoly. My argument is that yes, it's bad to have monopolies, be they propped up by governments or not. My point of view is that some minimal regulation has to be in place in order for giant corporations not be able to fuck everyone in the ass. So we would need some government regulation in order for the free market to actually be a free market, as paradoxical as that may sound.


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## Celebrate Nite (May 15, 2020)

Make it illegal for women to own and put on make-up unless its for a costume like Halloween or something


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## Agent Abe Caprine (May 15, 2020)

Tell Disney to go fuck themselves and write an executive order to bring copyright back to its original length.


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## Sexual Chocolate (May 15, 2020)

Two chicks at the same time.


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## (((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) (May 15, 2020)

i would force the homeless into labor camps and create a berlin wall around the united states.


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## No Exit (May 15, 2020)

The day I become president would be the day of the rake.


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## Sizzlin (May 15, 2020)

Since I fucked up an entire page of this thread, I guess I should do an on-topic post. If I were the president, the first thing I'd do would probably be inauguration.


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## Recoil (May 15, 2020)

Move out my mom's basement


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## Maamtis (May 15, 2020)

Get dummies made up of all the previous presidents and suplex them one by one on the White House lawn to establish my dominance.


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## Dom Cruise (May 15, 2020)

I'd do what probably most people would do and demand to know the truth about aliens and anything else really strange or supernatural the government may have proof of.


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## Shiversblood (May 15, 2020)

I would legalize Marijuana 

Joe Biden is putting the metoo movement in a very awkward situation right now because they said, believe all women, and now sexual assaulr allegations are being made about joe Biden. Voting for Joe Biden means that you no longer believe all women. They were happy about the metoo movement when it was against Kavanaugh because he is a republican they tried to stop him being on the Supreme Court. But voting for Joe Biden means you turn your back on the metoo movement. Regardless of that, I’m mostly angry because Joe Biden opposes Marijuana legalization. Imagine running for president of the USA as a DEMOCRAT in 2020 while opposing Marijuana legalization. He is suppose to be a democrat! How could a democrat be doing that in 2020! These are the modern days! Canada legalized marijuana in 2018 it is 2020 now! A vote for joe Biden is a vote to step backwards. How dare you Joe Biden. How dare you call yourself a democrat while being so conservative. Conservative republican basically. In 2024 if the democrat running for president opposes marijuana legalization I will vote republican again like I am in 2020. I’m a democrat. But my principles matter more than political party. I would never disrespect myself by voting blue no matter who. No. That’s shameful. Only vote blue if you agree with the candidate. Me and Joe Biden disagree regarding almost everything. All the things that Bernie Sanders promised Joe Biden is against. Anyone who is a real Bernie Sanders supporter should vote Donald Trump. If you believe in Bernie Sanders then don’t listen to Bernie Sanders when he says vote Joe Biden. Bernie Sanders turned on the American people when he endorsed Joe Biden. I used to respect Bernie Sanders BEFORE he endorsed Joe Biden. Now Bernie Sanders has sold out. And shamed himself. Your principals should matter more than blind loyalty to the democrat party. Joe Biden said vote for the other guy if you don’t like him. That’s exactly what I will do. Joe Biden gave me the middle finger.


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## Kotaro (May 15, 2020)

I would also legalize marijuana.

I'd also send out deathsquads to annihilate k-pop stans, but that's a whole different story.


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## heyitsmike (May 16, 2020)

Add a couple dozen new wings to Gitmo and send all the presstitutes there.

Bread and water only plus hard labor.


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## Festivus (May 16, 2020)

I would nuke Michigan probably. It's about time to just call it a day and start over.


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## UnKillShredDur (May 16, 2020)

Nuke China. (Don't elect me, or I'll kill us all.)


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## Cheese-Loving Citizen (May 16, 2020)

1) Fake-move the capital city to somewhere in California, making it big international news while secretly hiding the real location of the capital (preferably away from the WC).
2) Poke China just enough that they get angry and send out ICBMs.
3) Hope to God they aim for the "capital city" and destroy Cali.
4) Have an excuse to nuke China and run both countries to the ground.

Sure, it's an extreme, retarded way of wiping California off the face of the earth, but at least China also gets the nuclear treatment. Two birds.


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## WutangLee (May 16, 2020)

Challenge Kim Jong Un to a 1v1 fight to the death under the guise of self defense. Send something like this out to the United Nations.


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## Foltest (May 16, 2020)

Declare myself god emperor.
Nuke California.
Declare communism and feminism a banned ideology and a criminal offense to spread the word.
Nuke the whole of China and North Korea.


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## אΩ+1 (May 16, 2020)

Consolidate the power of government to the executive branch by Dejure.
Extend the powers of United States Intelligence Community.
Purge foreign agents of hostile governments and NGOs.
Heavily regulate the operations of markets based businesses so that they public interest and nationalize and sell back business to citizens.
Heavily regulate industrial relations, so the unions can't picket and the businesses can't lock the doors.
Put a Bismark model health system into the United States.
Privatize the school and medical institutions.
Every permanent United States resident gets a 401K fund taken out of their paycheck.
Every permanent resident that has been born to at least 1 United States civilian requires at least 2 years military service in order to vote or run for public office.
Return powers to the government branches 20 years after 1 through to 8 has been implemented.


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## polyester (May 16, 2020)

Distant Stare said:


> 3) Restrict voting to white males



Pfff, bloody liberal... not even restricting it to white male *landowners* like god intended.


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## No. 7 cat (May 16, 2020)

JambledUpWords said:


> Those are some low standards, dude.


And very dry, bone dry.


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## Banditotron (May 16, 2020)

Summary execution of everyone


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## ToroidalBoat (May 16, 2020)

Move to get corporate lobbying banned?


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## Gog & Magog (May 16, 2020)

Depends on which party I'd be a member of. I'd certainly pull strings to transfer at least some manufacturing from China to Mexico so fewer people there stop breaking U.S. immigration laws in search of a higher income. Even if it didn't work out, at least I could claim in my re-election campaign that I worked tirelessly to improve relations with our neighbor, as well as bring down the number of immigration crimes.


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## Shiversblood (May 16, 2020)

I would make it illegal for ANY companies to do ANY dealings in China or Mexico. I would arrest the owners of all companies who sent factories and jobs to Mexico and China. Arrest them for treason and have them executed. And drop bombs on America factories in Mexico and China and use drone strikes against those factories. You are literally taking food out of Americans mouths when you send jobs and factories to Mexico and China.


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## TiggerNits (May 16, 2020)

executive order changing the meaning of government corruption back to being the same as  treachery and sedition under the UCMJ. Make all federal government employees fall under the rules of the UCMJ. Watch the requests to be assigned as members of the firing squad at Leavenworth go in to the stratosphere

Offer letters of marquee to anyone willing to hunt down lobbyists,  allowing them not only raid them and kill them,  but keep all the loot from doing so tax free

Remove women's suffrage and all diversity quotas.  That whole thing has been a massive failure


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## AkAuZtIk (May 20, 2020)

dinoman said:


> Why would you want to stop the border wall? That's national security 101.



Read# 5


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## Witthel (May 20, 2020)

Make it a federal offense for state or local officials to refuse to comply with immigration laws and for businesses to hire illegal immigrants.


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## AnaV (May 21, 2020)

Give kids those sweet, sweet salt packets back, oh and butter knives too.


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## Joe Swanson (May 21, 2020)

Kill myself with 2 bullets in the back of my head


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## Arthur Morgan (May 22, 2020)

Legalise all drugs, make them and alcohol legal to consume at 16 and let natural selection take its course.


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## LazarusOwenhart (May 22, 2020)

Socialised healthcare and a bit of gun control then sit back and watch as the supposed greatest country in the world implodes over two policies adopted by almost every other western nation.


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## Monolith (May 22, 2020)

LordofTendons said:


> Blame a group for a problem and exterminate them. I don't know which group or what problem. I'm open to suggestions.


Centrists?

Personally, I'd make the NSA delete all their records of my internet history.


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## Never Scored (May 22, 2020)

Give California to Mexico. You're welcome.


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## A Beached Whale (May 22, 2020)

I'd make sure we'd have pizza and soda every Friday in the cafeteria, and wouldn't have homework on weekends and vacations!


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## Romper Stomper (May 22, 2020)

Acquire the DNA of both Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler and merge it to make the first NazBol god, implementing ethno-communism in america.


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## Exist0 (May 22, 2020)

Jack off in the oval office. Just, really hurt my dick.  Do it for all the people who say politicians are wankers. Just straight bust a nut, on a nice rug


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## Hellbound Hellhound (May 22, 2020)

dinoman said:


> It's both those reasons. Government collusion with private insurance companies to make themselves a monopoly. The only way you break that is by keeping the government out of private industry as much as possible, thereby allowing free market competition.
> 
> Over-regulation creates monopolies. Look at the state of our internet providers compared to south korea. Most people only have two ISPs to choose from. Shitty giant company #1 or shitty giant company #2. You think you could get away with that in a truly free-market system?
> 
> Giant corporations _love_ regulation because it makes new and smaller companies harder to compete with them, cementing their monopoly, which is why Amazon loves to push for a $15 minimum wage.



I think you need to brush up on economics, because it's clear that you don't understand price elasticity of demand.


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## Exist0 (May 22, 2020)

First order of business has changed, jack off on the person above me.  For a hellhound you got no chill


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## soft kitty (May 22, 2020)

Hellbound Hellhound said:


> I think you need to brush up on economics, because it's clear that you don't understand price elasticity of demand.


I   understand price elasticity of demand just fine. The more supply you have of something, the lower the price. Problem: Healthcare is too expensive. So you increase the amount of Healthcare being supplied. How? More competitors. And how do you get more competition? Make it easier to compete. How? Less regulation.

It really isn't a difficult concept to grasp.


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## Pee Cola (May 22, 2020)

I'd debunk the bullshit stories claiming that "Peaches" is an ode to communism.  I'd also confirm that peaches still come from a can, and that they were put there by a man in a factory downtown.


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## Mr. Skeltal (May 22, 2020)

Enforce the Supremacy Clause on the 2nd Amendment, no more state gun restrictions and a national open carry/concealed carry permitting system. Ideally the 2nd Amendment is enough (a la Vermont's Constitutional Carry), but for those prissy states like California or Massachusetts here you go.
Amend the National Firearms Act to allow for the purchase and manufacture of modern select-fire assault rifles by private citizens provided that they pay for a $300 tax stamp and have an in-depth criminal background check conducted on them.
Have the ATF and FBI look into a correlation between autism and mass shootings.


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## Vecr (May 22, 2020)

Mr. Skeltal said:


> Enforce the Supremacy Clause on the 2nd Amendment, no more state gun restrictions and a national open carry/concealed carry permitting system. Ideally the 2nd Amendment is enough (a la Vermont's Constitutional Carry), but for those prissy states like California or Massachusetts here you go.
> Amend the National Firearms Act to allow for the purchase and manufacture of modern select-fire assault rifles by private citizens provided that they pay for a $300 tax stamp and have an in-depth criminal background check conducted on them.
> Have the ATF and FBI look into a correlation between autism and mass shootings.



You plan on bumping the tax stamp up from 200 USD? Would it track inflation?


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## Mr. Skeltal (May 22, 2020)

Vecr said:


> You plan on bumping the tax stamp up from 200 USD? Would it track inflation?


I'd increase the requirement to $300 for newly made select fire weapons. That old Vietnam-era M-16 that grandpa has in garage would still require the $200 tax stamp for transfer. An SBR/SBS stamp would also stay at $200.

More importantly putting tactical rubber bands on your semi auto AK wouldn't be a felony anymore as it is now private arms manufacture. You'd still get fined for operating without a license though.


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## Hellbound Hellhound (May 22, 2020)

dinoman said:


> I   understand price elasticity of demand just fine. The more supply you have of something, the lower the price. Problem: Healthcare is too expensive. So you increase the amount of Healthcare being supplied. How? More competitors. And how do you get more competition? Make it easier to compete. How? Less regulation.
> 
> It really isn't a difficult concept to grasp.



What you've said here further illustrates that you don't understand what price elasticity of demand means. The reason healthcare costs in the United States are so high has nothing to do with supply, but with the fact that the demand for healthcare is inherently unresponsive to changes in prices (i.e. people aren't going to turn away life-saving treatment just because they find the price unreasonable). It is this inelasticity in the demand for healthcare which keeps prices artificially high, and there is absolutely no evidence that supply-side remedies (such as the ones you're suggesting) will fix this.



Exist0 said:


> First order of business has changed, jack off on the person above me.  For a hellhound you got no chill



What if I like it when people jack off on me, Mr. President?


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## Absolutego (May 22, 2020)

Honestly the main aspect of governance I think I'd actually have the power on paper to dictatorially dispose of would be the surveillance state. It only grew to the extent it has because it could do so in shadowy executive agencies, away from the eyes of the public and, more importantly, without affecting the voting record of congressmen. 
Massively roll back the surveillance state features, overturn any executive order authorizing it, and make the venal do-nothings in congress actually commit on paper that they want these sorts of spying rules for their constituents. Then I'm only banking on the wisdom of voters to maintain my legacy (which will probably horribly backfire).


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