# Weird People You Went To School With



## PT 940 (Mar 6, 2019)

Everyone had at least one strange but memorable classmate.  Tell us about yours here.

I'll start:

I went to school with a girl named Dawn who I really liked at first, she was quiet and had a few of the same interests.  When she got comfortable at her new school and got a good idea of what the people around her were like, stuff got weird.  She befriended people from all different social groups and managed to be shunned by all of them.  Dawn spent the night with a really popular girl and before bed she said she needed to say her prayers and pretended to speak in tongues and said she was praying to Satan and the girl never spoke to her again.  She would tell sob stories, like she got in trouble for getting a "B" on a test but her 10-year-old brother stole a car and didn't even get grounded.  It didn't take long for everyone to realize how full of crap she was.  Dawn once told us that he mom and her mom's friends would routinely make fun of her breasts for being too big (even though she couldn't have been more than an A-cup.)

It got worse in high school.  She would lie about having headaches just so she could leave school or lie about being in abusive relationships to get sympathy.  She once bragged about how her mom made her go to counseling and she lied about stuff to make the counselor think she was bi-polar because she "thought it would be funny to trick him."  Dawn once called a mutual friend and told her she cut her wrists and was bleeding to death.  Mutual friend started to cry and told her mom, and her mom drove them both to Dawn's house.  Dawn's mom came out and they told her what happened.  She made Dawn come outside and show that she was fine and hadn't cut herself.  Not only Dawn but also her mom thought this was very funny.  

After seven years of being in school with her I went to my first college class...and there she was again.  She still lied all the time but it was less dramatic and she didn't try to rope anyone else into her drama, which I guess was progress in some small way.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 6, 2019)

Now THAT is the kind of bitch who would file a fake rape accusation.


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 6, 2019)

There was a dumbass kid at the high school I went to that thought that Pinky & the Brain and Looney Tunes was owned by Disney, thinks Shigeru Miyamoto is both the creator of the awful Mario cartoons (which he somehow thought surpassed the games in popularity) and Italian (because Mario is Italian), that eggplants were eggs, bragged about how he was practically raised by television, and believed the World Trade Center is still up, just painted invisible. And no, I'm not making any of this up.
He's incarcerated now.


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## Rumpled Foreskin (Mar 6, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Now THAT is the kind of bitch who would file a fake rape accusation.


Dude, there’s no such thing as a “fake rape accusation”. Listen and believe.


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## XQ 076 (Mar 6, 2019)

A girl who would literally cry in EVERY lesson. Every single one all day. This continued from age 11 at least until she left the school at 18. It was so frequent that teachers gave up on sending her out of the class and generally tried to calm her down or ignore her, disrupting the class and taking attention away from other students. She usually said she was upset about failing exams but teachers lost patience with her when she aced them and then would still cry about it the lesson after. She also pretended for two years to have an identical twin who was adopted into another family (she photoshopped photos of this to ‘prove’ it) and frequently threatened to throw herself off the top of the school. Oh and she would bring one of those ‘Living Dead’ porcelain dolls to school and play with it/ brush its hair etc whilst in lessons. No idea how nothing was done by the school cos girl had serious issues.

Another girl in my class was a pathological liar, claiming that she’d had two heart and lung transplants, that her baby sister (didn’t exist) was dying of meningitis, that her best friend died on one of the twin towers planes and that she had a bag of weed in her desk (actually oregano). The funniest lie was that her rich stepdad had bought us all pink ghds from overseas (a hot item for the mid-2000s teen girl) but that the ship that was transporting them sank on the way.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 6, 2019)

There was this kid that had a dream where all the hot girls tied him to his bed and took turns fucking him one by one, and then told them all about it(!!!)

He also wore vampire contacts to school from time to time and always smelled like stale cigarettes, but didn't smoke.


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## RumblyTumbly (Mar 6, 2019)

Too many to list. Looking back on it, I went to school with a bunch of damaged people. 

But there was one kid that I went to grade school with that would spaz out in the middle of class, say weird shit, and tell outrageous lies (like he had a Guile costume for Halloween that could shoot sonic booms). I don't know if he was autistic or what, but he had this obsession with spoiling things for me without even spoiling. For example, I was reading Moby Dick and he "spoiled" the ending by telling me the whale dies and laughed that he spoiled it for me...but I had already seen the movie and knew that wasn't how the story ended. He told me my NFL team of choice sucked because they lost to his team in the Super Bowl "like 10 times!", which even if I wasn't aware of past Super Bowls, I would at least know that what he was saying was impossible considering both of our teams were in the same conference. I guess he was trying to be a troll, but like the worst troll ever. 

I remember one time at a sleepover party, we were all playing the first Mario Party on N64 and the dude unplugged my controller as I was about to win one of the minigames. (Why do I get the feeling that this is something DSP would have done as a kid?). 

My friends got between us instantly because they probably assumed I was going to get up and murder him. I never got that passionate about video games and didn't beat his ass, but I think everyone else in the room expected me too (one or two of them might have even wanted me to do it).


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## Cool kitties club (Mar 6, 2019)

There was some art hoe at my school that told me she felt a dark presence near me. She also claimed a dark force was following her because she used a Ouija board and had to bring Wicca runes to school protect everyone from it.


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## Just A Butt (Mar 6, 2019)

This girl I dated in high school claimed to have sent a “rival” a package full of live spiders, just because. She was also the type that was into self-harm for attention. 

She’s now a moderately successful voice actor.


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## Jmz_33 (Mar 6, 2019)

There was this one time in class, I don’t exactly remember the context, but our teacher was talking about authority figures or something and ask the class if we could name any. In this class, there was this fat, red head, special needs kid, that really understands what didn’t understand the question so he asked if she could explain what he was supposed to say. So to the best of her ability, she tried to make it clear to him what an authority figure is without giving an example (police men, fire fighters, etc.) This nigga looked her in the eye and said, “oh, you mean like the klu klutz klan?” Everyone flipped there shit.


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## Rand /pol/ (Mar 6, 2019)

Your sister


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## Dolce & Gabbana (Mar 6, 2019)

It was me. I was undersocialized and weird and if anybody tried to be friends with me I'd get confused and then turn aggressive and get hostile. The only friends I made lasted maybe 10 minutes but they were all on that same kind of level. I think my favorite was the French exchange student who told me that all American women were fat and hideous, but in France all of the women were beautiful, and all of the horses were wild. He had a kind of soft, distant look in his eyes, like he was drawing from a profound truth. I believed him.


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## QWXXP Surprise! (Mar 6, 2019)

*I* was the weird person I went to highschool with.


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## JambledUpWords (Mar 6, 2019)

There were actually two very odd people I went to high school with. Their names were Joey and Matthew.

The school I went to was very small. Only about 13 people total in the high school. One of the freshmen there was named Joey. Joey had to be about 300-400 pounds and he was super short. He is best known for being a brony. He created a brony cult in the school and he was the leader. Usually at lunch, he’d get together with his other members of the brony cult and talk about all things My Little Pony. One time, someone at the brony cult loudly inquired, “what pony would you want to f****” to everyone’s horror. Later on, this guy Joey wrote a My Little Pony fanfiction involving the Mane cast and other students at the school. One of my friends was named “the fat Jew” in this fan fiction, which was ironic considering that my friend was at least half Joey’s size. Near the end of the year, we all went to the pool for an end-of-the-year party and Joey was shirtless. He had very low-hanging man boobs and he would do Tarzan yells with his boobs wobbling to and fro, and proceeded to make people’s eyes bleed.

This other guy was named Matthew. This was at the same school that had around 13 people. I was the only girl high school student. He was a senior and I was a junior. When I met this guy, he was wearing an ankle bracelet. That was already suspicious enough. He introduced himself to me by telling me his entire traumatic backstory. Most days, he would openly ogle at me. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he weren’t so obvious about it. Anyway, this guy Matthew had a violent streak as well. He would punch people and not get in trouble for it. He was also very messy and would manage to destroy everything he touched. I would also like to add that he was the only student that had to be accompanied by his mom on field trips. There was one day he called his mom Cruella D’evil because she was doing something he didn’t like. On a different field trip, he got jealous of the kids that got popcorn and snacks for a movie and our school didn’t. Similarly, at the end-of-the-year pool party, he threw a fit that he couldn’t get another bag of chips and was nearly sent back to school for that. To top this all off, he gave me the nickname “Cheesecake”. Unsurprisingly, his favorite restaurant was the Cheesecake Factory. To add to this creepiness, he one time put one of my friends against a wall and said that he “wanted to paint him” while he was holding one of those rolly paintbrushes. My friend said that if he could go back, he probably would have drop kicked him for that. Another thing he liked to do was insult people. Despite his obvious crush on me, he would insult my skills and said that the salsa I made wasn’t good (this cooking was a part of one of the classes we took). When I was making that salsa, he said he “wanted to cut things too”. For the odd wording, it creeped many people out that he just wanted to cut things. At least I didn’t possibly give people food poisoning. Matthew made raw fried chicken in that class and fed it to other students. When Matthew graduated, everyone was happy. We were all given awards in this school for various qualities we possessed for things like patience, helpfulness, diligence, etc. Matthew got “most enthusiastic”. The friend with the paintbrush incident added to this by saying that the actual award was “most enthusiastic to rape you” as a joke. During my senior year in that school, I asked some of the teachers about their experiences with Matthew. They said that they were relieved that he was gone.

I don’t know where any of these people are now, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see Matthew in jail. Joey could either be dead from how fat he is or possibly still writing My Little Pony fan fiction. I have no idea, but it would be very hard to track.


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## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Mar 6, 2019)

Thanks to massive anger problems and autism, I feel a bit into that category, though these people have me beat.


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## PT 940 (Mar 6, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Now THAT is the kind of bitch who would file a fake rape accusation.



Actually, she did.  I didn't want to make my post about her too long but there was an accusation against a teacher at our school and he was fired.  It wasn't that he raped her but it was "alleged misconduct."


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## Turkey Twister (Mar 6, 2019)

I sat next to a guy named George that liked to sniff cars in the parking lot before and after school. He only sniffed cars if they had blonde chicks in them. I had seen him doing this several times before asking him about it. He played it off saying it was mostly for the hell of it, but I saw that look he got when he was doing his deed. 

I had a compulsive liar in one of my classes. He was always going on about his father, how the guy was in the airforce and all that. We all knew it was bullshit. He would claim different jets or ranks all the time. Twice he mentioned another countries' aircraft type. He was also the head of the Smash Bros Club that the school had. He really thought he was the next hottest shit. I guess I was a little crazy as well. I knew the liar was allergic to peanuts, so I would always eat my peanut butter sandwiches or crackers before having  to interact with him.  I don't think I ever got him. Or maybe that was a lie too...I don't know.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 6, 2019)

Yolandi said:


> Actually, she did.  I didn't want to make my post about her too long but there was an accusation against a teacher at our school and he was fired.  It wasn't that he raped her but it was "alleged misconduct."


I hate using the word "toxic" in this connotation, but it really is the best way to describe a person like that.


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## PT 940 (Mar 6, 2019)

I went to middle and high school with a guy who told everyone he was a warlock.  He was gay (everyone suspected but he came out at some point after high school) but he told people he had a girlfriend who lived in Egypt and that his aunt did pyramid excavations.  He was tall (for his age but a pretty normal height for an adult) and he had a giant head.  He also brought tarot cards to school and did "readings" but they always involved him laughing at people and not telling them what the readings meant.  A teacher eventually took them from him.

To make a long story very short I tried to be his friend because he didn't have any.  He talked about how close he was with his sisters but didn't have any friends in our class.  He was nice to me for about a week then for a really dumb reason he started to bully me.  To this day it's perplexing to me why a person with no friends would bully someone nice to them but this was a pattern with anyone else who was nice to him.  He ended up telling me his sister made a voodoo doll of me and that he helped her by stealing three of my hairs when he was behind me in line.  I'd never been bullied to this extent before and didn't know what to do so when he told me she was going to set the doll on fire and kill me I went home from school crying and told my parents.

No joke, my mom told my dad and my dad drove to the guy's house, just walked in without knocking and threatened him.  His parents called the police but when my dad explained to them about how he was bullying me and threatened my life his parents were surprisingly understanding and weren't mad at me or my dad after that.  He was told not to talk to me anymore and he didn't. 

I have another great story about this guy but I don't want to make this post too long so I'll post it later.


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## Just A Butt (Mar 6, 2019)

Muffin Slasher said:


> I sat next to a guy named George that liked to sniff cars in the parking lot before and after school. He only sniffed cars if they had blonde chicks in them. I had seen him doing this several times before asking him about it. He played it off saying it was mostly for the hell of it, but I saw that look he got when he was doing his deed.




That’s probably the weirdest shit I’ve read all week. Then again, it’s only Wednesday.


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## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Mar 6, 2019)

Yolandi said:


> To make a long story very short I tried to be his friend because he didn't have any.  He talked about how close he was with his sisters but didn't have any friends in our class.  He was nice to me for about a week then for a really dumb reason he started to bully me.  To this day it's perplexing to me why a person with no friends would bully someone nice to them but this was a pattern with anyone else who was nice to him.


Maybe he was so scared of said friend ditching him that he decided to scare them off before they had a chance to. That's something I heard in the lines of why some people will act as your friend and then act like assholes and dump you.


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## PT 940 (Mar 6, 2019)

Yaoi Huntress Earth said:


> Maybe he was so scared of said friend ditching him that he decided to scare them off before they had a chance to. That's something I heard in the lines of why some people will act as your friend and then act like assholes and dump you.



I could see that.  I met him in 7th grade so I don't know anything about his history with people before that.  I think he really wanted to have power over people and power turns a lot of people into jerks.


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## PT 940 (Mar 7, 2019)

Strap in, folks.

In my post in this thread about the warlock guy I mentioned having another great story about him.  It gets weird from here.

The year following the bullying incident, we were both in 8th grade.  He didn't so much as mutter a word to me after being threatened so I was just an observer for his other shenanigans but we had all of our classes together so I always had a front row seat to his craziness.  We got to go on a field trip, the whole 8th grade class, so there were around 80-100 of us and we were on two buses.  After the trip they took us to an area that had three fast food places next to each other and said to only eat at one of those restaurants and not to hop from one to the other (just eat and stay there until it's time to get back on the buses.)  If you crossed the street from where the restaurants were, there was a big bowling alley, which of course was off limits.

The guy had made friends with a kid who transferred mid-year named Sabastian, who was okay but socially awkward.  The warlock guy was able to get away with his dumb lies to this poor kid, and got him into a few of his weird fake-witchcraft attention-getting stuff.  After everyone was finished eating and it was time to get back on the buses, Sabastian and the warlock were nowhere to be found.  The teachers were panicked and asked if anyone knew where they were.  One kid admitted they saw them go over to the bowling alley, which was a very long walk from the buses.  One of the old teachers made the long walk and a few minutes later, came out with both of them.  Both were crying the entire walk of shame to the bus.  All of the kids on the bus were laughing hysterically.  Apparently they had been found together in the men's bathroom.  Neither of them would speak about the incident after the trip.  Eventually Sabastian was transferred to another school and the warlock continued to convince people he had magical powers and had a girlfriend in Egypt.  The girl's name always changed over time but it the names were similar (Pearl, Ruby, Diamond, etc.) but no matter how we aged he always insisted she was 13.  By high school he told people she was pregnant.

Last time I saw him he was working in a shop that sells crystals and tarot cards and didn't seem any different whatsoever.


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## drtoboggan (Mar 7, 2019)

Rumpled Foreskin said:


> Dude, there’s no such thing as a “fake rape accusation”. Listen and believe.


Not true. All rape accusations are fake.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 7, 2019)

JambledUpWords said:


> There were actually two very odd people I went to high school with. Their names were Joey and Matthew.
> 
> The school I went to was very small. Only about 13 people total in the high school. One of the freshmen there was named Joey. Joey had to be about 300-400 pounds and he was super short. He is best known for being a brony. He created a brony cult in the school and he was the leader. Usually at lunch, he’d get together with his other members of the brony cult and talk about all things My Little Pony. One time, someone at the brony cult loudly inquired, “what pony would you want to f****” to everyone’s horror. Later on, this guy Joey wrote a My Little Pony fanfiction involving the Mane cast and other students at the school. One of my friends was named “the fat Jew” in this fan fiction, which was ironic considering that my friend was at least half Joey’s size. Near the end of the year, we all went to the pool for an end-of-the-year party and Joey was shirtless. He had very low-hanging man boobs and he would do Tarzan yells with his boobs wobbling to and fro, and proceeded to make people’s eyes bleed.
> 
> ...


Was this a religious school? Or just a really small town?


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## JambledUpWords (Mar 7, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Was this a religious school? Or just a really small town?


This was a private school devoted to helping kids with autism.


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## ForgedBlades (Mar 7, 2019)

My high school was the designated tard pen for the district. We had a few notable speds. One of them was this autistic guy who could not help but grope everything he saw. He couldn't be allowed to walk the halls alone, lest he gang rape all the freshman girls. 

He came up behind me one day, put his hand on my shoulder, and whispered in my ear a quip I will never forget. "Some girls have long hair. And some have cunts."


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 7, 2019)

There was one kid I went to school with whose whole family was fucked.
This one particular kid drooled...a lot.  His sister drooled too, but not nearly as bad as he did, and their little brother was a fucking full-on tardspaz.

  It's rumored that the mother both drank and did cocaine while she was pregnant with each of them, and I don't doubt it in the least.

  I was friendly with the oldest kid as he was an alright guy, just a little strange.  One time our music teacher (who was a total drunk) sent both me and him out to her car to get her "medicine" for her.  Took me years to realize we had fetched her bottle of booze for her. 

Halfway through freshman year this kid came out as super gay (nobody was surprised) and he moved away.  Apparently now he's a rather famous drag queen.  Go figure.


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## vanilla_pepsi_head (Mar 8, 2019)

I actually met a real autistic savant in high school. Not one of those mostly normal but socially oblivious neckbeards with Aspergers at worst, but a full on Rain Man type. I never heard him speak, he was always barging into the classrooms of teachers he liked whenever he felt like it, he'd give no indication that he understood anything that was said to him, he was stimming constantly and he'd burst out laughing at random times. His hygiene seemed fine, he kinda looked like his parents dressed him but nothing outlandish. I just figured he was a garden variety low-functioning sped and thought nothing of it until he started showing up in my high level chemistry and calculus classes, he didn't appear to listen to the lectures but he got right absorbed in the textbooks and apparently could keep up fine, despite the fact that he got kicked out of the classroom for laughing and slamming his hands on the desk pretty regularly. 

Anyway, one of his spergy hobbies was to draw reproductions of pictures from his encyclopedias from memory, one day he drew a picture of some historical battle and decided to give it to a girl as a present. The girl's friend ripped it out of his hand and threw a shit fit, screeching that the picture was of him murdering his classmates and that he was clearly making a threat. The poor sperg ended up in handcuffs being interrogated by the cops, obviously unable to defend himself and probably in full meltdown mode. They pulled the kid's cousin out of class to calm him down and called his parents (they were Chinese and the cousin needed to translate), they recognized the photo and where it was from and tried to explain the context. Cops didn't care, poor bastard got expelled, arrested and eventually deported. Once everyone found out what was going on a few people tried to stand up for him but the girl's friend kept going on about how they were so violated and had PTSD and literal rape yada yada. The girl he gave the photo to was actually pretty chill about it once she understood but the friend and her family were known in the community as a bunch of litigious drama whores so no one wanted to cross them. No idea what happened to him after that, not sure how well China treats spergs but his family seemed to care about him a lot, I hope they found him a job where he can balance equations in peace. 

The drama whore was always putting herself in the middle of people's business and blowing everything out of proportion, the other incident I remember off the top of my head was some kids silly-stringed her house once and she got them in a bunch of legal trouble for "committing a racist hate crime" (they were the same race as she was...) Her parents financially supported her unsuccessful attempts to become a famous musician while she did drugs and fucked her way through a bunch of aspiring rappers, she eventually latched onto one and popped out a kid or two. Nowadays she posts retarded woke shit on social media (anti-GMO, anti-vax, wants basic income, wants slavery reparations, you know the drill) and does drugs while her parents watch the kids and her boyfriend serves a prison sentence.


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## Martys_not_smarty (Mar 8, 2019)

I got a couple and it's not really the kids fault but their familes, first was this kid named Nick nice fellah who'd play touch football and he lived in a pretty large house with his grandparents and aunt we never asked where his parents were but the story here is more about his aunt who was an absolute card and definition of crazy aunt.  She was a full on butch lesbian who had a MC Hammer flat top (this was early 90's which was the style of the time) always wore Nike or Reebok track suits in bright ass Phoenix Suns blue and orange and rode around on a Kawasaki Ninja.
     The other was Fernando, now Fernando lived in a similar conditions but it was his mother, aunt, grandpa and siblings as for his father the most we got from him was he did shit for the cartels and couldn't leave but they always got money from him to go to Universal Studios and Disney Land like 3-4 times a year.  Like most typical Mexican households they had one room that was full of nice furniture and it was off limits to everyone at all times, also one day a stain appeared on their dining room wall and his Mom thought it was the Virgin Mary or something so it always had fruit and Jesus candles by it.


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## Mariposa Electrique (Mar 8, 2019)

Went to an all girl's school. I think the weirdest girls we had around were sluts.


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## yeahweknow (Mar 8, 2019)

there was one kid with a deformed arm and leg who shambled around, it really freaked me out

even he was more popular than me though


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 8, 2019)

vanilla_pepsi_head said:


> I actually met a real autistic savant in high school. Not one of those mostly normal but socially oblivious neckbeards with Aspergers at worst, but a full on Rain Man type. I never heard him speak, he was always barging into the classrooms of teachers he liked whenever he felt like it, he'd give no indication that he understood anything that was said to him, he was stimming constantly and he'd burst out laughing at random times. His hygiene seemed fine, he kinda looked like his parents dressed him but nothing outlandish. I just figured he was a garden variety low-functioning sped and thought nothing of it until he started showing up in my high level chemistry and calculus classes, he didn't appear to listen to the lectures but he got right absorbed in the textbooks and apparently could keep up fine, despite the fact that he got kicked out of the classroom for laughing and slamming his hands on the desk pretty regularly.
> 
> Anyway, one of his spergy hobbies was to draw reproductions of pictures from his encyclopedias from memory, one day he drew a picture of some historical battle and decided to give it to a girl as a present. The girl's friend ripped it out of his hand and threw a shit fit, screeching that the picture was of him murdering his classmates and that he was clearly making a threat. The poor sperg ended up in handcuffs being interrogated by the cops, obviously unable to defend himself and probably in full meltdown mode. They pulled the kid's cousin out of class to calm him down and called his parents (they were Chinese and the cousin needed to translate), they recognized the photo and where it was from and tried to explain the context. Cops didn't care, poor bastard got expelled, arrested and eventually deported. Once everyone found out what was going on a few people tried to stand up for him but the girl's friend kept going on about how they were so violated and had PTSD and literal rape yada yada. The girl he gave the photo to was actually pretty chill about it once she understood but the friend and her family were known in the community as a bunch of litigious drama whores so no one wanted to cross them. No idea what happened to him after that, not sure how well China treats spergs but his family seemed to care about him a lot, I hope they found him a job where he can balance equations in peace.
> 
> The drama whore was always putting herself in the middle of people's business and blowing everything out of proportion, the other incident I remember off the top of my head was some kids silly-stringed her house once and she got them in a bunch of legal trouble for "committing a racist hate crime" (they were the same race as she was...) Her parents financially supported her unsuccessful attempts to become a famous musician while she did drugs and fucked her way through a bunch of aspiring rappers, she eventually latched onto one and popped out a kid or two. Nowadays she posts exceptional woke shit on social media (anti-GMO, anti-vax, wants basic income, wants slavery reparations, you know the drill) and does drugs while her parents watch the kids and her boyfriend serves a prison sentence.


Millennials are the worst generation.


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## Slimy Time (Mar 8, 2019)

Not one in school, but in university, so not sure if it will count...but I always found this guy funny.

Guy is an American-Chinese who went to the UK to study. Serial liar and all around sped. The guy came from a wealthy family which owned a Michelin starred Chinese restaurant, which he claimed was HIS restaurant. Couple of friends of mine called the restaurant to check...no it was his dads (of course). Next time we saw him, he went ape shit over us calling the family restaurant. Turns out he linked the phone to redirect to his personal one, so when we called, he was listening in.

The guy had the hots for one woman, and would approach her in the most autistic, and eventually creepy sorts of ways. She stayed in a closed off apartment which required an electronic key to enter the building. The day before the term ended, he wanted to give her a bouquet of flowers before she left. She, of course, said no, she didn't like him. She went to home, went to bed, woke up, and found the bouquet of flowers outside her bedroom door, they were not there when she went to bed. Turns out he had waited outside in the wee hours of the morning till someone from the apartment let him in, just so he could drop the flowers off. Before you ask, no, they were never in a relationship before this...

This sped ran for the student union president the following year, and wrote (got someone) to write an 8000 page manifesto. He would do live streams to promote himself, and when he lost, did a live stream of him breaking down crying...I made sure to take a screenshot. This sped spent so much time on the campaign, he managed to fail the year. He ended up walking into the exam 30 minutes late.

Since then, he's been on a roll. He's a woke Californian, and tested several of the Tesla car models, eventually getting into a car crash. He also ended up on Judge Judy. He has an ego the size of a planet, and several times would mug people off when in University...well, he did it to the wrong guy, who ended up smashing his face in. He also ran for some local political role in California in the mid-terms. Turns out the genius put his name as his reddit account username and had been frequenting and giving advice to subreddits about how to get train rides without paying, how to avoid paying parking fees, and how to scam airlines to give free tickets...needless to say, one quick e-mail to his opponents, and he had a full day explaining to people why he was giving out this sort of advice, in spite of running for local office.

I've probably given enough information for people to find his dox if they so wish... regardless, one of the more exceptional individuals I have met, especially since it was a complete change from the usual screeching blue hair, or drug taking hippie.


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## vanilla_pepsi_head (Mar 8, 2019)

Sword Fighter Super said:


> Millennials are the worst generation.



Dude, have you seen the generation we're _raising_? Most of the kids from Generation Z aren't old enough to have threads here yet but it's a complete shit show of victim playing and social media-induced narcissism, and personal responsibility is a thing of the past. The good news is they're mutilating their genitals, refusing vaccinations and getting themselves killed doing "challenges" for the internet so there's a little chlorine in the gene pool now at least. If there's any Kiwis still in high school or college now I can't wait to hear stories about some of these faggots.

Anyway I remembered a few more.

There were a couple of kids who were crack babies and had FAS, I'm like 90% sure their parents were brother and sister but I never completely confirmed that (this is not a joke). The sister was a really sweet girl, had kinda low intelligence and was really unfortunate looking, but she did the best she could at keeping herself clean and made an effort at her schoolwork, she liked to volunteer so she could spend less time at home. The brother on the other hand was an insufferable sped, lots of behavior problems, nothing violent or perverted but he'd get bored and start behaving like an 8 year old. They tried to put him in some tech classes (auto shop, cooking, manufacturing etc) since he sucked at desk work but he was always acting like a tard and not following safety procedures. 

He was supposed to be on Ritalin or something but either it didn't do shit or his mother was selling it. I remember him getting suspended a few times, once was because he had a knife on him (he didn't do anything but I can see why they didn't trust him with it) and once because him and his friend were caught with porn. He also pepper sprayed himself in the face once because he was bored in class but I don't think he got suspended for having it. 

There were some rumors of funny business going on between the brother and sister, apparently CPS even investigated, but I don't know if it was true or if people were just saying that because of the parents. Today the sister is a depressed (recovering?) alcoholic, lives and works at the YMCA or something like that. The brother did some prison time, knocked up a crack whore and does some inconsistent construction work.

One other girl gave birth to her first kid at 14 and her second kid at 16, they were both rape babies from her father. She was always in and out of psych wards for suicide attempts and actually told a few health care workers the situation, but the father would just say "she lies all the time, she's clearly crazy and dangerous, look how good I am for taking care of my slut daughter's bastards" so no one believed her and no one bothered to do a DNA test and check. She never graduated, a few years after she turned 18 she took the kids and fucked off somewhere but she doesn't want to be found so no one knows what exactly she's up to. 

Fuck, all my stories are sad as shit. I'll end on one that's kinda funny, even though it's not as good.

This one kid was a giant, arrogant douche but he was considered really popular even though I don't think anyone actually liked him (high school is weird like that). Had all the right clothes, friends and interests and made a big show of being better than everyone so I guess he was considered "cool". He was convinced he was going to be a top NHL player but didn't make it onto the city's team, so he actually got his parents to separate so one of them could move with him to a different town and make it onto their team instead. He did, but he was butthurt because he wasn't immediately the best one on the team. At one point he played in front of some major league recruiters but they thought he sucked. After this the butthurt intensified to the point where he quit hockey altogether. 

He moved back and graduated, I think he pretended he hurt his knee for a while but everyone knew he was full of shit. Eventually he started saying he quit hockey because the NHL is racist (incidentally, he got away with being an asshole all the time because his MO was to pick a fight, lose, and then say it was a racially motivated attack). At one point there was a lockdown because some guy with a gun robbed a store nearby and they thought he might run into the school to hide, everyone was pretty much just annoyed they didn't get to leave on time but this douche was so afraid he threw up and cried.

After graduating he decided he was going to be a famous rapper. He never had much interest in music besides being the basic guitar-playing douche who played Wonderwall, but his parents accepted this as a viable career choice. They paid for him to go to some school in Toronto to make connections in the industry, he failed out in a few months and everyone he talked to laughed him out of their offices once they heard his "music". He said they were just being racist so he'd move to Los Angeles instead. He lived in some shithole with like 6 other guys, unemployed the entire time, and never made any real contacts but kept up a fantasy on social media with stolen photos of parties and mansions and shit. Not sure how long that lasted until he gave up and came back home (it's possible his parents wouldn't pay anymore but I doubt it). According to his social media he is now an aspiring bassist living in a luxury condo in Toronto and partying with millionaires every night, but I happen to know that he's living back with parents in [shithole town] and working at a truck stop Denny's.

I should also mention that the douche is the brother of the drama whore from this post so it's fair to say the parents are the real lolcows here.


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 8, 2019)

vanilla_pepsi_head said:


> Dude, have you seen the generation we're _raising_? Most of the kids from Generation Z aren't old enough to have threads here yet but it's a complete shit show of victim playing and social media-induced narcissism, and personal responsibility is a thing of the past.


Oh, I agree.
In fact, I found a fledgling cow by accident that I'm going to keep an eye on until he's of official cow age.  It's like every new generation takes on some of the worst characteristic of the previous one, and then adds a few more.


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## AbyssStarer (Mar 8, 2019)

My school was pretty regular but I can list off a few things.

A fat, short, stupid football kid said he wished he was watching porn in the middle of a lesson.
We were locally infamous for the girl fights. One time a bitch ripped out a clump of anothers hair.
_Everybody_ smoked weed (probably less unique than I thought)
I know a lot of the girls got pregnant and had abortions. They talked about it in the open regularly.
My older sibling's class had a lot of STDs flying around.
One time in health class a girl whipped around to the boys behind her and said she had herpes on her vag. She was a slut and was acting weird after that so I believe it.
A jock boy started rumors he was cutting himself to get a goth girl to like him and she blew him off. It was a long-con lasting most of 11th grade.
I once flipped off a freshman girl (she cried instantly) and told a boy to kill himself, didn't even get in trouble.
In my math class a black girl was throwing her backpack back and forth across the room when we had a substitute teacher. He told her to stop and SHE demanded respect from HIM.

Hey, if my generation is fucked, just imagine the next.


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## The Cunting Death (Mar 9, 2019)

In hindsight I realize a ton of the people I went to school with were stoners or sociopaths


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Mar 9, 2019)

Yolandi said:


> Actually, she did. I didn't want to make my post about her too long but there was an accusation against a teacher at our school and he was fired. It wasn't that he raped her but it was "alleged misconduct."



The same thing happened at my school - most likely the the year after I graduated. A girl I'll call "Irene" - having a reputation for being a very playful flirt and tease - accused a popular teacher of being inappropriate with her. I think it ended up being one of those situations where he was allowed to retire which sucks either way because:

The allegation being false would mean she got away with ruining his career, or
If it was somehow true, he got away with inappropriate conduct.
That said, a lot of people disbelieved the accusations given Irene's reputation and the fact this teacher was loved by nearly every student that had him. But that's not the good part. The following year, Irene moved on to the same university I'm attending at the time and recognized me on the spot despite never interacting with me in high school. Later that year, I'd learn that one of my basketball teammates apparently had sex with her and secretly videotaped it. And no, I never got to see the video "evidence" of said act.

Eventually, Irene transferred to another university - possibly out of state - and I found her years later on Classmates. When I sent her a message, though, she acted as if she didn't know me in her reply back.

However, the story I wanted to share for the thread is about "Karl" - a guy that graduated with my high school class.


Spoiler: Karl's Story



He was on the shorter side for a guy and seemed to have a Napoleon complex. That didn't stop him from playing on our Freshman basketball team and likening himself to Muggsy Bogues even though he was one of the last, and relatively unskilled, players off the bench. Needless to say, he switched to wrestling the next year and might have given up on sports after that.

Instead, Karl seemed to focus on sexual conquests for his upperclassman years. The rumor was Karl would seek out a girl to go out with and either: (1) convince her to have sex with him, or (2) get cockblocked. In either case, he'd immediately dump the girl and seek out another as if he intended to have sex with as many female students as possible before graduating.

During our senior year, I found a textbook in my English teacher's room from a different class where a freshman girl wrote "I love fucked Karl" on the same line where one records his or her name inside the textbook. That gave some truth to the rumors about Karl. Additionally, I heard he tried to have sex with our senior class exchange student only to be cockblocked in epic failure proportions.

As this was at the same time AIDS was becoming an epidemic and hot topic, I convinced myself Karl would either die from AIDS or pick up some sort of STD as the direct result of his sexual conquests. I don't recall him attending any class reunions, so I believe our paths haven't crossed since high school. Ironically enough, however, I recently discovered that Karl has a social media presence with a profile pic of what looks like a wife and kids. He may still be alive and well, but I truly hope he hasn't caught or passed on any diseases - especially to his (possible) wife - from his youthful indiscretions.


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## PT 940 (Mar 9, 2019)

Since I didn't want to make my initial post too long, I'll tell the story about Dawn getting a teacher fired over "alleged misconduct" here.

She was already an infamous liar by the time this happened so when it happened, we everyone that knew her and knew the teacher was aware it was probably something stupid.  The interesting thing was - I got both sides of the story.

The teacher in question was beloved by everyone who had him because he was a nice guy.  He also barely made anyone do any work and as long as people stayed quiet he didn't care what they did most days.  There was a rumor he allowed people to have sex in his supply closet (he taught chemistry and had a locked closet in the room, but I don't necessarily believe that part because a lot of people lie about sex in high school to impress others) so that I don't know for sure about.  He was much more of a friend to everyone than an authority figure but that was a welcome break if you needed advice because he would answer you like a wise peer and you knew whatever he was telling you came from a good place.  He also allowed people who didn't want to attend pep rallies a place to hang out (his classroom) instead of just cutting and getting in trouble which I don't think he was really "allowed" to do but he thought it was more responsible than letting them do something dumb out of boredom.  Most people just went there and played D&D.

He said that she talked to him about being sad after a breakup and that he said she was a "knockout" and could find another guy again really soon if she wanted to.  So his version of events was just that he complemented her and tried to help her feel better.

Her version (which she told me when we had a class together in college) was that he told one of the guys in his class that he would convince Dawn to sleep with him.  The guy he allegedly said this to had a girlfriend and both of them admitted to having sex so there was no reason the teacher needed to get another girl to sleep with this guy.  It just doesn't make sense.  Also Dawn said she confronted the guy about it and said she wasn't going to have sex with him so there was no reason for the teacher to step in and try to convince her.

It was a huge mess and in the end the teacher was fired over it and Dawn enjoyed bragging about it.  Seeing as she also bragged about tricking her therapist into thinking she was bipolar it's not a stretch of the imagination.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Mar 9, 2019)

There was this kid who wore a fucking wolf tail to school every day.  He even had his own little group of female orbiters who wore cat ears.  Then he got an even longer tail and wore it to prom.  He was also allegedly in a committed online relationship with someone named "Eris".  I was a pretty amiable guy in high school but goddamn did I want to throw that kid into a trash can whenever I saw him.  If we'd gone to a normie high school he probably would've been bullied till he killed himself.

His mom was president of the PTA.  Super sweet lady and she did a lot of shit for us.  Probably compensating for having such a weirdo fuckup for a son.


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## White Devil's Advocate (Mar 9, 2019)

About halfway through my senior year, I had a kid in my JROTC class get arrested for breaking into an 80 year old woman's house. He was rifling through her underwear drawer when the cops got there. I only talked to him a couple of times, and he kinda gave off a weird vibe. But I didn't think I would hear about him getting caught up in anything like that. That's some straight up serial killer in training shit.


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## PT 940 (Mar 9, 2019)

The guy I went to prom with went to prison.


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## Green Room (Mar 10, 2019)

There was a guy who would take shits in the hallway when no one was around. The high school I went to had no security cameras at that time (due to laziness, the technology was availible). Once the bell had rung and everyone was out of the halls and in class, he would strike. He was collequially refered to by teachers/students as The Rogue Pooper. 

Adminstration absolutely lost their shit about it, at one point they came on the PA system and told everyone to stay in their classes as they needed to clean up a "potential health hazard" and we all laughed our asses off including the teacher because we all knew what had happened _again_. They sent a letter out to all students homes at one point threatening disiplinary and legal action to whomever the rogue pooper was, as he was creating a health hazard. I wish I still had that letter because it was so ridiculously threatening. But they were at their wits end, the rogue pooper did this for at least 3 years (not everyday, maybe once every few months).

Of course, in the end, the rogue pooper was caught. He was snitched on, as most of the student body (including me) actually knew who it was the whole time. (initals are JP). He was basically like a class clown type, I had gone to school with him since middle school, and he was always doing crazy shit. He wasn't like a malicious or special-ed guy. Lots of people liked him and thats why, in the end, he got away with a suspension and wasn't allowed to walk at graduation, but still finished out his term in the same school he was taking dumps on the floor in.

Where he is today, I have no idea as I don't do the whole FB thing and even if I did I wasn't close with the dude, just knew of him and his antics.


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## The Great Chandler (Mar 10, 2019)

NARPASSWORD said:


> He's incarcerated now.


Whew! Why?


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## NARPASSWORD (Mar 10, 2019)

The Great Chandler said:


> Whew! Why?


Attacking somebody after being called a nigger.
Keep in mind, he was pretty much acting like a gigantic stereotype of black people 24/7, just short of actually chucking a spear at the attackee.
Think of his personality as "black kid acting like white kid acting like black kid".


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## Kino Man (Mar 10, 2019)

A kid I went to HS with came to school tripping on acid. He thought he lost his shoes. They were in his backpack the whole time.


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## Kino Man (Mar 10, 2019)

Senior year I was hanging out with two of my junior friends in the computer lab where we took some of our sim/robotics classes and this one chick comes up to us and asks "what if instead of balls you had double-D boobs hanging there?"


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## Chicken Picnic (Mar 10, 2019)

I don't think I need to say much else other than I don't live in the area mentioned anymore so y'all can't come find me


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## An Sionnach Seang (Mar 10, 2019)

I went to high school in a large but remote town in the east of England during the late 90s/early 2000s, when there was a lot more bullying than would be allowed these days; it was a tough environment, so very few genuine weirdos made it through, unless you count the Plymouth Brethren, a snobbish sect of Christian fundamentalists who segregated themselves from everyone else, and made their women cover the hair in a similar fashion to Muslims, for much the same reason

one thing that strikes me as weird in retrospect is that many of the slower, low-wattage girls would get married to men in their forties immediately after leaving school at 16, undoubtedly because they'd got pregnant (the age of consent in the UK is 16, and at the time school-leaving age was 16 as well); it was many years before I realised this is not normal elsewhere

now the teachers, they were a different matter; we were 'taught' the basics of sex education in year 7 (age 11/12) by Mr. D, a skinny nerdy physics teacher who was almost certainly a virgin himself - talk about the blind leading the blind

there were quite a few teachers who were delicate flowers, didn't realise that children between 11 and 16 are generally appalling little shitbags who will home in like sharks on any perceived weirdness or weakness and mock it relentlessly, often fled from lessons crying, and ended up quitting the profession altogether

a less extreme example of this was Mr. M, a middle-aged fellow who taught graphics/graphic design, was highly strung and easily wound up, and had a Swedish surname nobody could be arsed to pronounce properly, and became corrupted into "Mr. Motivator"; if he hadn't quit when he did he'd have probably had an aneurysm in class

the most retrospectively creepy one was Miss R., who covered our regular RE teacher when she was on maternity leave during the time I was in year 8 (age 12/13)



Spoiler



completely unprompted, she started using the diminutive form of my real name (nobody has done this since I was about 4), which was cringy and weird in itself, but peak weird was reached was when she discreetly took me out of class and asked a load of stuff about my hobbies, family background and academic aspirations, for no discernible reason whatsoever

I gave straight answers, all the while thinking "what the fuck is going on here, why are you asking me all of this stuff?"

it wasn't until nearly 20 years later that the penny dropped, and I realised that she was probably trying to groom me, but was too socially inept to do so successfully - at the time I just thought she was a weirdo and thought nothing more of it


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## Tetra (Mar 10, 2019)

rappaport said:


> There was a guy who would take shits in the hallway when no one was around.



ah yes the local serial shitter right next to the town rapist


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## An Sionnach Seang (Mar 10, 2019)

how could I forget Sean R., a good-humoured idiot who would do almost anything for a laugh, though he was more funny than weird
he wasn't handicapped, just a bit dim

as an example, one morning he had to go to the nurse to get treated for splinters in his forehead, because he'd spent the entire registration period breaking pencils on his forehead

after leaving school he became an alcoholic, but as far as I can tell he's straightened himself out, had a family and become relatively normal since then


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## King Buzzo (Mar 10, 2019)

My school was a breeding ground for potential shooters or thread material. Had a dude two years under me who proclaimed he was bisexual and got bullied for it. The bullying got to him that he often sperged out at people that weren't accepting of him and once threaten to bomb the school. Nothing came out of it, but he got suspended for the threat. I think he was trying to get into the army (probably won't happen though).

There was also a guy in my year who wasn't exactly emotionally stable nor had good grooming habits. He (and his sibling who I don't know much about) reeked of cat piss and was known for threatening to bring weapons after a bad day of crying. Had encounters with him as he hit on my then-girlfriend like it was an obsession and I had to step in on a few occasions. Had one of his possible love interest walk with me during the graduation ceremony so she wouldn't walk with him. Dude's still lingering around town last time I heard.

There was a girl who was supposed to be in my class, but got held back a grade who was an open furry who walked around with tails and ears and did "cutesy" actions like a spastic weeb. I also had a dropout friend who was hardcore into the mallcore emo scene and also embraced the furry stuff. I think all four of them had some sort of a connection, but I could be wrong.


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## HIVidaBoheme (Mar 10, 2019)

This girl who thought she was the smartest and most popular girl in the classroom, whom the teacher brainwashed into believing she would become a highly recognized industrial engineer.

Ten years later and the dumb bitch does nothing but post instagram stories doing shitty crafts.


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Mar 11, 2019)

I almost feel bad talking about this girl because she was really nice but oh lord she was really, really, unsanitary. I knew her during my high school years- she was very quiet, often reading by herself, didn't have a lot of friends. I befriended her because I saw her reading LotR and I was pretty deep into LotR at the time. She did once tell me a really questionable story about how her dad was a friend of Christopher Tolkien or something but for the most part she was ok to talk to. The problem was that you kind of wanted to gag the whole time you were near her. 
Physically she kinda looked like Wogglebuglover in that she was kind of heavyset with saggy boobs and long hair, except this girl had very prominent buck teeth and wore glasses. She had this habit in class of biting her nails and then leaving the nail-fragments in a little pile on her desk before just pushing it into the floor at the end of class. Sometimes you'd also notice her digging around in her nose too. 
She'd leave her hairs everywhere which completly skeezed me out, I have a thing about detached hairs. 
The thing that was really gross is that I 100% knew that she never washed her hands after using the bathroom. Anyone who'd been in the bathroom with her during passing period knew and didn't want to have to touch her. She also never flushed the toilet which if I didn't know that from seeing her leave the stall without flushing sounds following her, I would have figured that out from entering a stall and finding unflushed piss and random stray hairs on the seat.
I still wonder if she's the reason I got pinkeye that year.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Mar 11, 2019)

MerriedxReldnahc said:


> had this habit in class of biting her nails and then leaving the nail-fragments in a little pile on her desk


This legit fucking triggers me.


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## PT 940 (Mar 11, 2019)

My first day of high school was much stranger than the entire rest of the year, thanks to one kid.  I don't remember his name but he was really odd-looking (not sure if it was medical or what) white, short and overweight.  My last class of the day was a rotation class and for the first six weeks of school it was a typing class.  It was extremely easy, too.  Too bad this awkward kid didn't want to be there...

Basically the teacher was this old black lady who was super nice.  She started the class by saying how long she'd been a teacher and how after that year she was going to retire.  She took attendance and the weird kid didn't answer up.  She noticed this and asked what his name was and he said "Tupac Shakur."  It was important to know that she was about to retire because of how she reacted, which was she pretty much said, "Listen, is [whatever] your name?  Because that's the only name on the list I didn't call."  And the kid said that wasn't him, even though it actually was.  She said, "Look, either you tell me your name or I'll call security and you can tell _them_ your name."

The kid looked at her dead serious and said, "Do what you gotta do.  Tupac said, 'I fear no man but God.'"  So she called security and the kid left with the guard.  I never saw him again.


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Mar 12, 2019)

Since college stories are being shared, I'll offer one of my own.

During my time at the local community college, I took a course in Organized Behavior that I liked a lot both in terms of what I learned and the instructor that taught it. One week, when the class was to take a quiz or exam, a classmate I'll call Bob came into class just before its starting time and announced to the whole class, "I'm high."

I'm pretty sure any other professor would have freaked out or not known how to respond to that. This professor, a recent PhD recipient in Psychology at that time and an actively-practicing psychologist during the day didn't bat an eye and simply asked Bob to come out of class and take a walk with him. I have no idea what happened, but Bob didn't come back for the rest of the class.

Bob did return the following week. Later that semester, Bob and I ended up working together on an in-class assignment that required partners. Although he didn't directly mention the above incident, he chose to powerlevel a bit in admitting he had some anger management issues and a tendency to use bad judgement even though the revelations had nothing to do with the assignment and I don't recall bringing up the incident. Still, being mindful of a recent lecture on self-awareness, I tried to be encouraging about his realization and desire to address those issues.

I have no idea what happened to Bob. I can only hope he's more careful now about when and where he chooses to be mad, high, or both.


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## PT 940 (Mar 12, 2019)

I didn't have a very good experience in college.  I graduated but I didn't enjoy very much of it.  And college brought about meeting the creepiest guy I ever met.  If I am too specific I'd probably dox him pretty easily so there is one major detail I'll have to generalize.

The first person I bothered talking to was a guy who commented on my Lord of the Rings shirt.  He was nice and friendly so I didn't think he was a weirdo right out of the gate.  There was a day that the class we shared was canceled and he asked me to go to lunch at the nearby pizza place and I agreed.  It wasn't mentioned like a date and the whole time we were there is was really platonic and we just talked about fandoms we liked.  It was around this time that he told me his favorite fandom (which I can't mention due to what I mentioned above.  I will say that it was a fandom for kids but not any of the major ones that are popular right now.)  He told me, completely serious, that his life goal was to become a director so he could make an R-rated movie about that fandom.  He said the premise was serious enough that if the character swore and there was nudity and sex that adults would love it as much as he did and that he was the one would would make everyone see.

And it only got weirder from there.

He ended up telling me about some weird fetishes that he had that involved body manipulation and didn't understand why everyone else in the world didn't like it.  And when I decided to stop being friendly and confront him about how uncomfortable he was making me he didn't back down.  That actually made it much worse because then he thought I was some kind of 'goal' for him to reach and that all of his trying would make me like him.  I cut all ties with him and he kept calling me.  He'd call my house and my cell and leave messages as if he were totally clueless that I'd told him to leave me alone.  It got crazy enough where I told him that if he contacted me again that I'd get a restraining order so he stopped calling me but still emailed me every year to attend his super bowl party.  So after a few years I blocked his email address since my insistence that he stop was ignored.  I ended up finding out he'd done this to a few other girls (it turned out that I knew someone he went to high school with and she had a lot of the same experiences I did.)

I looked him up a few years ago and was relieved that he had moved to another state.  He had a mail order wife and they had a kid together...and the kid was named after a character in his fandom.  It was an unusual name and there is no other way the name was from something else.


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## TiggerNits (Mar 12, 2019)

We had some "goth" kids at my high school that tried to burn an American flag right after the first Gulf War ended. We lived in a military town at the time and they got threatened by some dudes on the wrestling team (who pretty much got an OK to do so from a few staff members via the school rumor mill), tried to act tough about it, and then opted to instead spray paint "Murderers!" on a Puerto Rican flag instead, because they thought it was a Texas flag, which was hilarious in it's own right and supposedly got one of them's ass kicked by some Hispanic kids, though I have a feeling the ass kicking was more due to a weed deal gone sideways than the flag shit.

We also had a kid in my Civil Air Patrol squadron that was manic depressive, obsessed about Air Force special forces (Combat Controllers and PJs)  and was always wearing his CAP uniform to school and trying to pick fights with kids in the Army JROTC at the school despite looking like Beavis in a pair of coke bottle glasses. Luckily almost everyone else in CAP had friends in JROTC and we all got along really well, to the point of even doing a lot of orienteering, search and rescue and drill shit with them so the jackass never got anyone but himself in shit. I ended up becoming good friends with his cousin while in CAP and despite having no desire to interact with the kid, I do spy on him from time to time just to see what shit he's landed in. He ended up actually getting in to the Air Force after getting rejected the first few tries when recruiting numbers were REALLY bad in the late 90s, went to A school to be a lift master but then got kicked out for being a massive fuck up and spending almost 3 years to complete a 9 month course. Then he tried to be a cop, failed out of the police academy, then became a Mall Cop, got fired for trying to choke out a suspected shop lifter and now he works at a knife shop somewhere near Vegas after his parents moved there. 

My wife grew up near where I live now, and she had a guy from her high school get busted living in a house with the corpse of his deceased mother for almost a year before one of her friends talked the local cops in to doing a welfare check on her. He didn't get in trouble though because he never cashed any of her social security checks or did anything illegal and the local sheriff even said at a county event about it "I can't arrest people for being strange, stupid or weird. I can only arrest them over committing crimes". He did so with a look on his face of a man who has encountered entirely too much bullshit in his life.


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## Replicant Sasquatch (Mar 12, 2019)

TiggerNits said:


> We had some "goth" kids at my high school that tried to burn an American flag right after the first Gulf War ended


You're old.


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## Scarboroughgirl (Mar 12, 2019)

My class is around 30 kids. there is a girl named Naomi who is white as a piece of paper but thinks she's black. she tags her insta posts with things like #blackgirlmagic and #melanin, styles her brunette-red hair in dreads and afro styles, and constantly references being "a minority." she's about 5'0 and built like a moving truck, with an unfortunately mannish face. she's an lolcow of my school, but everyone treats her nicely and acts like her friend.

she stole a t-shirt from my sister last year, then tried to deny it to her face after being called out. her family is known around town for being thieves. she used to live in HI and CA and whinges about how hard her childhood was and how her mom is emotionally/physically abusive.

she's a pathological liar with a fucking ugly personality. to cap it all off, she's in a junior military program and we never hear the end of it. the irony of someone joining the armed forces where people are supposed to be honorable, honest citizens (some aren't but still) when they are the epitome of a bitchy spoiled brat is too much for me and my sister sometimes.

plus I find it hard to believe she can pass any physical fitness tests they throw at her because I've never seen her do a push up and she sits out in yoga class.


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## TiggerNits (Mar 12, 2019)

Scarboroughgirl said:


> My class is around 30 kids. there is a girl named Naomi who is white as a piece of paper but thinks she's black. she tags her insta posts with things like #blackgirlmagic and #melanin, styles her brunette-red hair in dreads and afro styles, and constantly references being "a minority." she's about 5'0 and built like a moving truck, with an unfortunately mannish face. she's an lolcow of my school, but everyone treats her nicely and acts like her friend.
> 
> she stole a t-shirt from my sister last year, then tried to deny it to her face after being called out. her family is known around town for being thieves. she used to live in HI and CA and whinges about how hard her childhood was and how her mom is emotionally/physically abusive.
> 
> ...



She sounds like a classic Army or Navy enlisted chick, tbh


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## Womanhorse (Mar 12, 2019)

Oh boy, there was an incredible amount of freaks at my highschool despite it being in a mostly conservative, suburban town. Guess Ill start with the one I was forced to interact with constantly. 

  We had an emo Indian weeb who was constantly trying to be cool and insisted on having us call him Ichigo. Used to take the blades off pencil sharpeners and hide them in his sleeves in case he needed to "assassinate" the preppy kids or people he hated. Was also obsessed with memes and constantly used them unironically He also wore the same goth sweater every day, and refused to wash it sinced it would "affect his stealth abilities". I dont think he ever bathed to be honest, so his stench was utterly legendary. Especially for an Indian guy. 

Dude was also dating my friend throughout highschool. Ill call them E for now. Dont know what E saw in him, or if her nose was just not functioning. But Ichigo was always hovering around him saying he's her "guardian" and growling at anyone who came close to E. This included me and E's other friend, or just about anyone who could potentially bring E to her senses about this freakazoid and seperate them. Guess he was afraid he'd never get pussy again if she left him or something. Or his stench alone blinded her. 

I dont remember too many specific incidents atm but he was regarded as a try hard and fucking annoying. I do recall he'd constantly be asking to move his classes around so he was always with E. Claimed his soul would literally dry up without her. He also thought he was some amazing super genius and everyone else just wanted his help. So he was always interupting class to inerject with shit everyone knew, some cleaver meme related to the material or inserting himself into group study sessions to try and seem smart while he was botching up whatever work was being done. I imagine he did this to inflate his own ego, and impress his brainwahsed gf at the same time. Couple that with the musk of last years curry and axe body spray whefting around the classroom and people want absolutely nothing to do with him. 

Having to put with this twat's shit for 4 years will break a person. And eventually, when he threatened to spirutally rape E's other friend (who had feelings for her) for looking at her too long, I broke. I went to confront him and instead he challenged me to a fight after school. Gave some big anime speach about it, winner gets to steal the other's soul or something. Figured I'd humour the guy by accepting it. Once school was done I made my way over to the forest to get my ass spiritually kicked. He literally hid behind a tree stuml, threw a shaperner razor at me and Naurto ran towards me with an autistic warcry to begin the 'fight'.

I should mention I was a rugby player in high school. And held a few weight lifting records. So you can pretty much guess how well this went over for him. Clocked him square in the face, and managed to actually knock him out. E came to her senses and broke up with him a few days later, and I got off without any charges since it was self defence. Ichigo spent the rest of the school year in the back of the class looking beyond defeated and with his hood constantly hiding his face. Word eventually got out that he was utterly devistated by a single girl-punch and whatever dignity he had left was shattered. He would avoid me for the rest of the year and people claimed to be my friend just to make him leave them alone.

As far as Im aware he still lives with his parents and dropped out of college. Can't even keep a job down either. He did work at a call center (lol) but was fired for being incompetent.


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## deadcowcultist (Mar 13, 2019)

First year of uni a flatmate pulled out of our housing arrangement so we just got a random to take over the room.
The lad we got would spend most of his time on IRC and used to drink copious amounts of that stones ginger wine, while playing ff7 and ultima online.
He thought he was the shit, would barge into your room all boozy, tell you all about how great he was with the ladies, and in high school his teacher was always trying to hook up with him, apparently she was super hot, but he was cool and always turned her down.
I had a class with his twin sister, who was pretty chill, went out for some drinks after class once and she told me that they were home schooled, Their mom was pretty hot.


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## PT 940 (Mar 14, 2019)

deadcowcultist said:


> First year of uni a flatmate pulled out of our housing arrangement so we just got a random to take over the room.
> The lad we got would spend most of his time on IRC and used to drink copious amounts of that stones ginger wine, while playing ff7 and ultima online.
> He thought he was the shit, would barge into your room all boozy, tell you all about how great he was with the ladies, and in high school his teacher was always trying to hook up with him, apparently she was super hot, but he was cool and always turned her down.
> I had a class with his twin sister, who was pretty chill, went out for some drinks after class once and she told me that they were home schooled, Their mom was pretty hot.



LOL NOOOOOOO that's messed up


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## Professional iPad Hoarder (Mar 14, 2019)

Ha, GAY


Yolandi said:


> Apparently they had been found together in the men's bathroom.


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## Pocket Dragoon (Mar 14, 2019)

I had small circle of friends that mainly consisted of a few D&D spergs & SCA nuts, a proto-survivalist (my private theory is they based _Tremors_ Burt after his dad), my best friend's older punk brother, and myself.

But then there was a trio of pothead hangers-on that essentially copied the mannerisms and habits of whoever they happened to be around.  All of them wore fedoras at one point or another, and publicly discussed their Final Fantasy or Dragonlance waifus.  One had a legit third nut, but that's a different weird for a different thread.

This particular minion had idolized Peter Steele before I met them, which he somehow figured counted for mega cool points in my book, being that I was the school rivethead. 
I initially didn't care either way about the band; but after hearing Bloody Kisses on repeat for months, my distaste for them became Pavlovian, to the point I didn't actually give Type-O a critical listen until Steele died.

So.....

"Big Jilm" (as I had so dubbed) threw himself into the minion-role, which to a point was useful; in that he was a hulking mook with tard strength & complete lack of imagination. 
For a while, I became invisible, having to never actually go for smokes or beer, run messages, or make a social appearance anywhere.  I could send Big Jilm, who would literally take a notepad with him to observe and report back. 
In that aspect, he really was an idiot-savant, being able to constantly take accurate notes without anybody noticing (or caring).

The weirdness set in when he began bringing back unbidden notes on odd things; a random girl who had mismatched earrings, a teacher talking about his truck repairs, a particular tile in the latrine with mold growing around it, etc. 
Before long they became more intricate, sprinkled with details & plots impossible for a non-omniscent mook to know, and even before he'd gotten to that point, I'd tried divesting him of that job as a minion.

It didn't take.
I created a monster.

Soon I was being swamped with handwritten or mechanically typed reports in a Gestapo-esque format, left in unavoidable places he termed "drops" (fed thru car windows left ajar, under the house side-door, taped to my bike frame, etc); all inspired by his spergout after finding a big picture-book about the SS and Abwehr. 

Then his "reports" started to contain details about people knowable only to a mook hiding in the bushes.  
At night.  Alone.

Part 2, up later.


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## PT 940 (Mar 14, 2019)

Pocket Dragoon said:


> Part 2, up later.



Part 2, up NOW!  I really need the conclusion to this craziness


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## Pocket Dragoon (Mar 14, 2019)

Yolandi said:


> Part 2, up NOW!  I really need the conclusion to this craziness



Normally I'd oblige, but we have golfball size hail incoming.
Good times.

If Pt. 2 isn't forthcoming soon, send the Kiwi Navy.


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## Pocket Dragoon (Mar 14, 2019)

"The Minioning"

Part Deuce

It wasn't long before Big Jilm was spotted and identified; not in a criminal way, but his jig was definitely up.   He may have been ace at surreptitious note-taking, but he had a negative grasp on cover/concealment, despite the group's best efforts (as school outcasts & pot smokers, we took going unnoticed seriously).

Though the school (which was fairly tiny) knew Big Jilm was my gopher that imitated & followed me around whenever possible; I made no effort to hide my growing distaste & disdain for his presence.  But crucially, the school administrators and our tiny burg's only two cops, either didn't know or didn't care.

At this point, I was well known for being the ex-military brat from a different state, shunning interaction with all but a few close friends, most of whom we're either older or from outside the county.  It didn't help that, unlike my nerd, gawfik & punk counterparts, my favored clothes and music were inherently "militaristic".

Around a year after we met, Big Jilm called in a bomb-threat to the school (from inside the school), and was immediately nailed after being overheard at the cafeteria payphone.  He was found to be in possession of mapped, annotated, and completely autistic plans to take over the school.  

It detailed our group using "silvered" laser pointers that somehow would fry skin and start fires, moving freight cars from a siding to block police access (cops don't off-road?), gassing everyone in the auditorium with every fire-extinguisher fr within the school (set off simultaneously?), and the epic escape on zodiac boats down the river that ran behind our school.

Being so named, we all were paid multiple visits by Agent Snuffy Smith and the two local boys, who especially wanted to know if I had put Big Jilm up to the whole thing.  For every note that he had passed to me, he had at least two more undelivered, which were responses to replies that _I never made_.  Jilm also mentioned some pretty serious military hardware that I was going to provide, the expense of which was totally plausible, given my minimum wage shit job at the local plastics plant.

It took a fair bit of righteous indignation, flank-flaying laughter, imaginative verbiage, sailorly adjectives, and a lot of swearing on my part, before they somewhat accepted my disavowal of the whole thing; while simultaneously watching my every move & interaction until finally leaving the AO for good.  It also turned out that being associated with Burt Gummer Jr. didn't help, when his familial ties to certain militia groups came to light.  Waco and Columbine had just happened, so the krieg lights shone hard on everything we did.

It was then a hellish year being suspect in orchestrating not only Big Jilm's bomb-threat & other plans, but also every peeping-tom incident (real or imagined), unsolved burglary, and uncaught trespassing; many even before I moved to the area.  Eventually, Big Jilm was adjudicated as being a mentally defective who fell short of being a Rain Man, and he was thence disappeared to a school for wayward mooks.

Until he was thrown out(?), somehow hobo'ed his way back to town from across the country, disowned by his family, and then proceeded to inadvertently fuck up my action, almost on the daily.

End of Part 2


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## millais (Mar 15, 2019)

They let anyone join the JROTC in my high school, so it got to the point where about 60% of the JROTC students were either mentally or physically disabled because JROTC participation gave some kind of transcript-boosting elective credit without any rigorous academic coursework or mandatory physical exertion involved. 

There was even one obese hambeast confined to a motorized wheelchair that was in the JROTC, so fat you could not even determine the gender (the triple chin completely covered up the style of uniform necktie), so we called it "Mechanized Infantry". I coined the name one day, and it stuck.


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## Buck Mullet (Mar 15, 2019)

I went to school with a guy who already had a few strikes against him when he enrolled. He came from a poor, broken home because his old man was in prison for murder, and on top of that he had a severe learning disability. But life really kicked him in the balls years before when he was named. He was Christened the same as the main character in a well known horror movie franchise that came out a few years after he was born. So this poor sap had no chance in that circle of Hell known as high school.

His coping mechanism was to be known for this weird thing where his lanky ass would scale corners in the building by wedging his hands and feet on opposite sides and climb up to window overhangings and stair cases. That was his one talent, he could risk breaking his neck to get to a spot bullies couldn't get their hands on him... until he inevitably was forced down. No idea what happened to him, think he dropped out. Hope he put his "talent" to use... and maybe changed his name.


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## Clockwork_PurBle (Mar 16, 2019)

Buck Mullet said:


> I went to school with a guy who already had a few strikes against him when he enrolled. He came from a poor, broken home because his old man was in prison for murder, and on top of that he had a severe learning disability. But life really kicked him in the balls years before when he was named. He was Christened the same as the main character in a well known horror movie franchise that came out a few years after he was born. So this poor sap had no chance in that circle of Hell known as high school.
> 
> His coping mechanism was to be known for this weird thing where his lanky ass would scale corners in the building by wedging his hands and feet on opposite sides and climb up to window overhangings and stair cases. That was his one talent, he could risk breaking his neck to get to a spot bullies couldn't get their hands on him... until he inevitably was forced down. No idea what happened to him, think he dropped out. Hope he put his "talent" to use... and maybe changed his name.



Freddy Kreuger or Michael Meyers?


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## Buck Mullet (Mar 16, 2019)

Clockwork_PurBle said:


> Freddy Kreuger or Michael Meyers?



Yes.


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## Recoil (Mar 16, 2019)

I was the 'weirdo' kid from kindergarten until 11th grade, but looking back, I wonder if there was some memo that everyone but me got. I say this because most everyone I knew chose to follow a real traditional corporate trajectory. I meet my old school mates from time to time on the street, and I have yet to meet one who seems happy. Nobody stepped outside of what was expected of them, it's like they all fit one of several molds. The people who seemed so destined for great things, they stopped somewhere, or they made bad choices.
I feel like a light went out somewhere.

I edited for clarity. I'll use drafts next time.


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## UF 404 (Mar 16, 2019)

There was this kid in my first grade class. Looking back, he definitely had some sort of learning/mental disability, but as a kid I didn't really understand that stuff. I sat next to him at lunch one day, and offered to give him a gusher in exchange for one of his gummy bears. He agreed, happily took my gusher, and then freaked out when I tried to take one of the gummy bears he said I could have. When you're 6, this is an unspeakable betrayal. 

Also, he really liked chickens. Was always talking about how he wanted to hug one. And beating him in tag was very easy, since all you had to do was tell him there was a dinosaur behind him and he'd completely stop to look for it (he fell for it every time, despite him always trying it on us). After that school year was over, none of us ever heard from him again.


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## PT 940 (Mar 16, 2019)

Recon said:


> I was the 'weirdo' kid from kindergarten until 11th grade, but looking back, I wonder if there was some memo that everyone but me got. I say this because most everyone I knew chose to follow a real traditional corporate trajectory. I meet my old school mates from time to time on the street, and I have yet to meet one who seems happy. Nobody stepped outside of what was expected of them, it's like they all fit one of several molds. The people who seemed so destined for great things, they stopped somewhere, or they made bad choices.
> I feel like a light went out somewhere.
> 
> I edited for clarity. I'll use drafts next time.


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## madethistocomment (Mar 16, 2019)

I have a few weird kids in school right now.

There was this one girl named Millie, who was pretty okay right up until seventh grade, when she all of a sudden just went like off the walls bonkers. She started dressing crazy and acting weird, always trying to get people's attention. She proudly declared that she was a lesbian in eighth grade, and then retracted her statement when she realized that literally nobody gave a shit. She kept on trying to up the ante until it all came to head in freshman year and she claimed that she'd slept with the older brother of one of the boys in our grade who had graduated last year and he got her pregnant, which naturally he swore up and down wasn't true.

Millie then just fucking stopped coming to school for a while, and then came back claiming that she'd gotten an abortion. About a month after everything went down, her parents pulled her out of school and dropped her into a military academy. Turns out she'd been lying about the whole fucking thing in another pathetic attempt to get attention, and her parents had finally gotten sick of her shit. it was pretty funny tbh. The poor guy who she'd claimed knocked her up was vindicated, but those few months when everyone thought he was a massive sleazeball really stressed him out and I think he joined the military to get away from all the shit. Poor dude.

The other is this kid named Josh, who's always been a weirdo. He's _super_ fat trailer trash and he always used to make weird noises while sitting in class and it always annoyed the shit out of my easily distracted ass. In like fourth grade he made a new year's resolution to ask out every girl in the grade, and he got rejected by everyone, including yours truly. I remember he just sprinted up to me one day on the playground and was like "HEYANONYOUWANNABEMYGIRLFRIEND?", scaring the shit out of me and I proceeded to screech like a cat and run away from him as fast as I could.

He dropped off the face of the Earth in freshman year (like legit nobody knew where the fuck he went) but then ACT testing rolled around about a week ago and he was in the room where I was taking my test. Turns out he's going to the vocational school that our school district has. He simultaneously looks exactly the same as when I last saw him but also like a 40 year old alcoholic father.

Then there's Chaslyn. Oh boy. This girl thinks she's like crazy sexy and popular when she's just.... not. She posts on instagram like she's a vlogger or some shit and acts like she's super smooth when she's got all the smoothness of  a piece of sandpaper. She also walks really weirdly. She stomps everywhere and her footsteps are loud as shit, and it gets worse when she's in heels. I'm pretty sure she's at least a little exceptional.

Me and my best friend had the unfortunate luck to be placed with her in a group when my school choir went on a trip to NYC, which meant we had to share a room with her and be with her pretty much the whole trip. It wasn't as bad as we thought it was gonna be (though it was still awkward as all hell) until the last night, when our toilet broke (which I'm like 98% sure was her fault, by the way) and I was in the shower. I was trying to wash some makeup off my face because I'd ran out of wipes when she banged on the bathroom door asking if she could come in to take a piss. I said no, because one, I was in the fucking shower, and two, the toilet was busted.

Didn't think anything of it until later, when she again, knocked and said she had to go, and I gave the same answer. Later I got out of the shower and was putting my pjs on when I heard the sound of what sounded like a bottle of water being poured on the carpet and my best friend screeching "WHAT THE _FUCK, _CHASLYN" at the top of her lungs. I threw my shit on quick, came out to see what happened, and it turned out she'd fucking pissed on the carpet.

I was so mad I could have seen red. I chewed the shit out of her, asking her why the fuck didn't she just go over to the people next door's room, since everyone on our floor was from our school, she's in high school she should know better by now, why the fuck she thought holding it that long was a good idea, and finally, what the_* fuck *_were we gonna say to housekeeping, *jesus *_*christ*._ My bff said that that's the maddest she's ever seen me, lmao. We made her clean it up and write an apology note to leave behind for housekeeping. Both me and my friend felt so sorry for the poor schmuck that had to clean/fix everything she'd messed up. I'm so glad that was our last night. We didn't speak to her in the morning and I remember our neighbors asked us what the fuck happened last night because they heard my bff's scream and the subsequent chew-out from me. Afterwards we got on the bus and went home, never to forget that last terrible night on what had been an otherwise fun trip.

I've got a few more weirdo stories if anyone wants to hear them, but I think this post is pretty long already lmao


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## Socrates (Mar 16, 2019)

There was a guy a year under me when I took PE my senior year. He was a scrawny short kid who wore the same hoody every single day. Pretty much the archetypal "school shooter" looking guy. I would occasionally talk to him because we we're both fairly nerdy but sometimes he would go off on really troubling rants about how "we should just kill all the stupid people" and how "Hitler could have got it right". Needless to say I continued being nice to him just in case. 

I remember vividly one day we were playing floor hockey in the gym, we were on the same team and he was going off on how "the girls shouldn't even play, men are superior blah blah blah". He was our goalie and quite literally within 5 minutes of him rattling off on his incel rant the most stereotypical dumb valley bitch in the class scored a goal on him. He shut up about that topic from then on. Really a smart guy, he was always programming games from scratch onto his graphing calculator. The one I remember most is a semi functioning prototype of pokemon red. I think he works at a grocery store now.


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## Tragi-Chan (Mar 17, 2019)

I had several, but I’ll start with this one teacher we had. He was a PE teacher, pretty hot-tempered and, kids being kids, they’d constantly wind him up by, e.g., pretending not to understand what he said.

We had this one guy who was on the fringes of the unpopular kids, kind of a dork but enough of a clown that people didn’t entirely hate him. He of course joined in messing around with this teacher.

Except one day he went too far. Just kept screwing around. The teacher was really, really pissed off, just totally losing his shit, absolutely volcanic. The rest of us decided to start behaving, but not this kid. He asked this question that was really, obviously, deliberately dumb and the teacher just grabbed him, threw him to the ground and basically just started kicking the shit out of this little 14-year-old for about thirty seconds. When he’d finished, he told the kid to run around the football pitch, but the kid instead ran right off school premises.

The teacher had this “oh shit, what have I done?” expression, but you can bet we were good as gold for the rest of the lesson. Unsurprisingly, that teacher was not invited to continue his employment at the school.


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## Autisimodo (Mar 17, 2019)

In my English class I knew this one white guy who dropped out in the first few weeks of the 11th Grade. 

He's now a NEET wannabe Eminem.


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## edibleBulimia (Mar 17, 2019)

I know a lot of weird people from school. Most of them seemed normal at first, but showed their weirdness at some point.

When I was 12 or something we were going to act in a play, Romeo and Juliet. There was some girl that wanted to be Juliet but it had been filled out, so she tried to convince the teacher to make another character,  named Kaitlyn. 
She even made a dumbass script, basically Juliet would be crowned queen of the ball and then Kaitlyn would congratulate her but accidentaly met Romeo and fell in love with him (in 2 seconds). Then she asked him to marry her, he said no, so she ran away to the Priest and said that she wanted to be happy. He gave her poison, she drank it without knowing it was poison and died. Plot twist? the priest was actually... JULIET!!

She gave us all a copy of the script and I still have it to this day..


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## Tragi-Chan (Mar 17, 2019)

We had this other teacher, who was (and still is) actually quite a respected historian with several published books to his name. He was also the creepiest, most obvious closet case I've ever encountered. He was married (to a woman), but was absolutely obsessed with attractive men. Whenever our history lessons dealt with a good-looking man, it would screech to a halt while this guy explained to us how attractive this man was and which features were most shapely. He also had a distressing habit of calling anyone, male or female, "little slut." It was a different time.


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## Rabidcolombian (Mar 17, 2019)

edibleBulimia said:


> I know a lot of weird people from school. Most of them seemed normal at first, but showed their weirdness at some point.
> 
> When I was 12 or something we were going to act in a play, Romeo and Juliet. There was some girl that wanted to be Juliet but it had been filled out, so she tried to convince the teacher to make another character,  named Kaitlyn.
> She even made a dumbass script, basically Juliet would be crowned queen of the ball and then Kaitlyn would congratulate her but accidentaly met Romeo and fell in love with him (in 2 seconds). Then she asked him to marry her, he said no, so she ran away to the Priest and said that she wanted to be happy. He gave her poison, she drank it without knowing it was poison and died. Plot twist? the priest was actually... JULIET!!
> ...



PLEASE post this glorious fanfiction - this girl sounds like a damn legend


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## edibleBulimia (Mar 17, 2019)

Rabidcolombian said:


> PLEASE post this glorious fanfiction - this girl sounds like a damn legend



I only have the script of Kaitlyn’s scene, sadly.


“_*Romeo, Juliet and Kaitlyn 
(ball scene) by: Kath *

(Romeu arrives to the ball)
Romeu: _Wtf? Who is that girl? Whatever, I’ll go with my girl.

Juliet: DARLING!! Guess what, I just got crowned the queen of the masked ball!

Romeo: Really, love? That’s cool

_(Kaitlyn gets close to them)_

Kaitlyn: Hi! My name is Kaitlyn, what’s yours

Juliet: Juliet and yours? Oh wait I forgot you already said it

Kaitlyn: hahaha. Somebody told me you were crowned queen of the masked ball.

Juliet: Yep, I was.

Kaitlyn: And who are you? _(She asks, turning to Romeo)._

Romeo: Ah I’m Romeo, are you knew* to the city? I never saw you here

Kaitlyn: Yeah

Romeo: I understand

_(Kaitlyn falls in love)_

Kaitlyn: go outside later

_(Outside)_

Kaitlyn: (i didn’t understand what she wrote, it was something along the lines of ‘i want to tell you something’)

Romeo: Hm

Kaitlyn: I love you, I know your with Juliet but I can’t control my heart
I love you more than anything please marry me

Romeo: sorry but Juliet is the love of my life

Kaitlyn: sorry I shouldn’t have told you that

_(Kaitlyn runs away and finds the priest while looking for assistance (?))_

Kaitlyn: Priest please help me I love a married *(?wut) *man and his name is Romeo what do I do?

Priest: Drink this and you will forget this and you will be happy for the rest of your life _(gives her a glass with a liquid)_

Kaitlyn: Alright.

(_When kaitlyn leaves, the priest takes off his cape revealing his true identity: Juliet) _

Kaitlyn: Ok I already drank it (after some seconds Juliet *(? She meant Kaitlyn)* falls death.

_(The priest arrives)_

Priest: Hahaha (_evil_) I gave poison to this evil colleague.”


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## PT 940 (Mar 20, 2019)

There were twins that I went to school with for 6-7 years intermittently.  They were pretty nice, I was never close friends with either of them but I never heard them say or saw them do anything crappy to anyone.  The odd thing about them was they'd be in school for a few months at a time then disappear until the middle of the following school year.  It wasn't because they were in trouble because they never were, and they weren't from another country so they weren't traveling or living with other relatives.  So in this case it wasn't them that was strange but rather their situation.  I asked other people I saw talking to them if they knew why this happened and apparently the twins were pretty tight lipped about it, so I never found out.  I just always hoped it was nothing bad.  Didn't see them again after graduation.


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## a feel (Mar 20, 2019)

edibleBulimia said:


> Kaitlyn: sorry I shouldn’t have told you that


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## Basketball Jones (Mar 20, 2019)

edibleBulimia said:


> Kaitlyn: Yeah
> 
> Romeo: I understand
> 
> _(Kaitlyn falls in love)_



Kaitlyn sounds like a stable and well-adjusted gal..,


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## Titty Figurine (Mar 21, 2019)

Everyone in my early college social circle had lolcow potential but one of them actually ended up as a footnote here. 





He was actually one of the pillars of crazy that tied the club goth, MTG, and ren faire creeper social groups together because everyone knew him. He was a spastic furry on the daily that would do shit like shout "Surprise buttsex!" and hump the jailbait that hung around the card players or show people AMV Hell 0 in public. When I knew them he and his wife weren't legally married but made a big fuss about being handfasted and lived in a neckbeard nest apartment with a dedicated WoW room and another chick that was banging them. I don't know who had the EBT card, but someone had food stamps and they would show up to the community college to play Magic and take the bare minimum of classes to keep the tuition tugboat going. 

Highlights: 

Was unemployed at the time and occasionally not even enrolled but showed up to the community college every damn day to play Magic.

Never trooned out, but claimed to have a chromosome mix-up that gave him real breast tissue. His wife would encourage people to grope his tits whenever this topic came up. 

Had at least one well-known dick pic in circulation among the group. I do not have it, but it was usually shown by his wife. 

Pulled thots of dubious age (the college had a high school dual enrollment program, and some of them ended up in our daily autism pool party) on his lap to pretend to be their boyfriend if someone from outside the group tried to talk to them to "keep them safe". 

Instead of taking the rejection, would "waitlist" himself when a freshman thot wasn't down to pork an overweight, married, furry who was Wicca-married and purred at or humped them. 

He and Crystal both ended up working for Wal-Mart for a while, now he works for a Tim Horton's off I-94 on the other side of the city. He cut his hair but still looks like Chris-Chan's long lost cousin, his wife porked up and looks more like a Hutt than a big tiddy goth gf. They have a different poly wife and she is also now pregnant. 



Spoiler: Shitty 2007 Pics


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## Koby_Fish (Mar 22, 2019)

My town was mostly blue collar, not white collar, so lots of exceptional individuals, and due to rampant alcohol abuse, was a gong show of drama. (Still is, really)

I was probably the "weird kid" in school (autism, but we didn't know it at the time) but there are a few notables:

One ginger kid would do prank calls in fake East Indian voice and once drew "Harbie the Hindu" in the dust on a classmate's car. (Harbie's family was Sikh, not Hindu , but then again this is an area that has an erroneously-nicknamed 'Hindu Heights' where a large number of Sikhs live.)  I once chanced upon the ginger's LinkedIn recently and found him doing the same dumbass kind of shit as the person who was fired for trolling that one plane crash story on the news (the one where alleged crew members in an asian airliner were named "Ho Lee Fuk", "Sum Ting Wong" and other autistic shit like that).  If Tumblrites got hold of him they'd tear him apart for "racism".

Another kid was one of a set of twins, and apparently he was the evil twin because one time, after high school, after doing pot, cocaine, and booze all at once he completely flipped the fuck out and very nearly killed his aunt because he was hearing voices telling him to do it.  Before that he played a lot of videogames but his brother was better than him at that.  He was literally banned from the area.  I dunno what became of him after that.

Another, was what was called a "Shrub".  Back in the late 80s in middle school, there were kids that wore thick plaid "lumberjack" shirts like they were jackets, and went to a corner of the street near the school to smoke.  Not long ago in the newspaper, this one Shrub I had art class with in Grade 9, whose probably autistic friend once pantsed a person right in class in front of everyone, got arrested for counterfeiting money.  He was weird but back then I didn't really figure him for the criminal type.


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## PT 940 (Mar 22, 2019)

I went to middle/high school with a girl named Jen (only she spelled it Jynn) who I thought was cool when we were teenagers but as an adult I realize was very troubled and probably pretty mentally ill, as the stuff she did "for attention" never quite went away.  She fell into the 'art-goth' category.  She got in trouble for dumb stuff, such as not doing extremely easy work in classes in favor of talking to herself or drawing or just talking about how the work was stupid (so nothing that required and real effort, just stuff like 'do the worksheet and turn it in and you get credit.')  One time I asked her to come over and the anytime I'd say something to her she'd say, "Why are you talking to me?  I'm not really here."  And I thought it was funny but now I know it was probably just something for her to do to get out for a while and she didn't really want to hang out with me at all.

In high school Jynn did the same stuff and didn't grow as a person, just had the same blank expression and semi-smile when she thought she was being funny.  The only time I ever saw her have any emotion was when her boyfriend broke up with her and she cried but still looked pretty blank.  I asked one of her close friends to see if she'd been more expressive around her and she told me that Jynn was always like that.  I saw her twice as an adult and she was pretty much the same but had a long-term relationship and had recently bought a house.

I thought of another one, didn't want to forget.

Went to high school with Joe, who is another interesting character that I didn't think was weird until way after high school ended, upon deeper reflection.  It was my first year of high school so I was 14, and he was a senior who failed a few times and was 20.  There really wasn't anything weird about how he looked or dressed, aside from having dandruff (which never went away) and never cleaning out his ears.  He never smelled bad though.  The best way I could describe how he looked is that he always wore black shirts, black jeans, black boots and had long hair and a beard.  He was always nice to me but always did one very strange thing - anytime he hugged me, as soon as we let go of each other, he'd smack my butt and run away.  Remember the age difference.

At the time I was actually pretty flattered and liked the attention but then I met his girlfriend and felt sort of weird about him doing it, especially since he didn't seem to care about her feelings.  The reason for their eventual breakup ended up involving him not paying attention to her, which shocked no one in our friend group.

He came to school one day and told people his step-dad "grounded" him because he found a bunch of spanking porn on the computer.  Joe said "a hacker must have downloaded it to the computer" which is not only what he told the step-dad but also all of his friends, who actually would have never found out about any of it had he not told everyone.  So he could have avoided all of the embarrassment the situation brought by just not talking about it but he did anyway for some reason.  And he would tell unusual lies, stuff like that he worked out all the time at a place called "Trenchcoat Ditch" (a literal drainage ditch) where he was learning martial arts and that his stomach (he was just a little overweight and it only showed in his stomach) was "solid muscle" from training.

And once I invited him to my house (maybe three miles distance from his) and I assumed because of his age he could drive, but he said "I guess I'll ride my bike there" and never showed up.

I didn't talk to him after he graduated, but found out from a mutual friend he got married to a girl who looks suspiciously like (but isn't) his high school GF.  He looks exactly the same, too.


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## Tahoma (Mar 22, 2019)

Titty Figurine said:


> a bunch of fascinating shit


He looks like Yaniv in some of those 2007 pics.


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## Dr. Henry Armitage (Mar 22, 2019)

I went to school with a guy named Justin. Justin was weird because he didn't give a shit. He did shit just to make people laugh and to piss off the teachers. He was kind of on the fringe of every group no one could really put up with him for a very long time. Though Justin did something i'll never forget. We had this English teacher who was easily the worst high school teacher I ever had. every year she picked 5-6 girls to be her pets. They were always the most popular and pretty girls. She ignored the rest of the class in favor of them.  Everyone knew it and hated her for it. One day Justin came into her class wearing a tube top, a mini skirt,  an extremely visible thong, thigh high vinyl boots and makeup straight out of a drag show. It took her 45 minutes to notice, and she only noticed then because we couldn't stop laughing and one of her pets had to point him out to her. she got mad and drug him to the office. he came back after ten minutes. She was gone the rest of class. He said he told the principle he did it so hopefully she would make him one of her pets. the principle asked him to change because he was in violation of the dress code. then asked her why it took her 45 minutes to notice a student dressed that way. Justin seems to have a pretty normal life hes married and works on a car lot.


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## TiggerNits (Mar 22, 2019)

Twins. Man we had like 6 sets of twins in my graduating class of about 700 kids. They were all girls, too. Most were cool, two black girls that were both track stars, there was a pair of islander ones where one was really pretty and her sister was fat but really sweet, we had a mulatto set where their dad was white and their mom was black, both of them were hippie stoners, but the one set I'll never forget were these two white girls who were 100% identical and one was a complete sociopath. She would tell teachers in her sister's classes to eat shit or go fuck themselves without ever having interacted with them herself. She would actively go out to try and get her sister's boyfriends/crushes/whatever to fuck her after learning her sister liked them. She'd start fights with trashy chicks while saying she was her sister. Just horrible nightmarish shit an "Evil Twin" from a shitty TV drama would do. It was extra fucked up because their dad was one of the guidance counselors and their mom had died a few years prior in a car wreck that also killed their younger brother, so the shitty one would just wallow in that when confronted with any evidence of her bullshit. 

The nicer twin is a dental hygienist that got two very visible tattoos right after she turned 18 to make sure people wouldn't confuse them anymore. I still have some contact with her because she married a friend of mine's older brother and they had a few kids.

The shitty one joined the Navy and got kicked out after a short while for getting caught with a lot of drugs, became a carnie for a bit and then did 7 years in prison when she was caught trying to haul 5 illegals to Northern California in her Chevy Cobalt and is now married to some biker in some trailer park outside Tampa


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## PT 940 (Mar 23, 2019)

My senior year of high school brought about my time as a teacher's aide during at the end of my day and it was awesome.  The first month the teacher didn't actually have a class so it was just me hanging out with a teacher I liked and we talked the whole time.  Mostly it was filing old papers and sometimes I was by myself in the room, a nice quiet room all to myself.

But not everything that awesome was meant to last.  The teacher ended up getting a class during that period due to overcrowding.  It wasn't as lame as I thought.  I graded papers and recorded grades and since it was a remedial English class there were a lot of kids from a lower-class background - in other words, people I'd pretty much known my entire life :p

AND THEN...one kid had to screw it all up.  And his name was Josh.  No, not null.  Josh was a very light-skinned black kid.  He was a weirdo and none of the other kids liked him.  He did it to himself, honestly.  First off, he wore a suit every day.  The school had a dress code but no uniforms so he wasn't in violation of anything.  The suit was khaki plaid, so an eyesore.  He would wear a band shirt rather than a dress shirt but they were never bands anyone had heard of.  He said he liked "emo punk" and always bragged to people about how he wasn't a Nazi and hated them so much.  It got warm out and he cut the sleeves off of his suit jacket, then he bleached his afro.

He started getting in trouble and the principal in charge of discipline got tired of Josh's crap.  So when Josh put a giant swastika with a red slash mark over it, an anti-Nazi statement, he was punished for it with a week's suspension.  No one, including Josh, could believe it.  He shaved his bleached afro into a mohawk and got in trouble for that as well, having to shave it before coming back to school.  He was loud, obnoxious and could frequently be heard talking about how he was "100% Nazi-free" (which sounds a bit like something Chris Chan would say, which makes it so much worse.)  He was just downright annoying to everyone, all the time.

After I graduated I never saw him again.  But the weirdest thing happened - I was talking to a guy I worked with at my retail job, who had nearly model-good looks.  Most of the girls at that job had a thing for him.  I randomly started talking about how weird Josh was because it's a funny story and it turned out he not only knew Josh, but thought he was one of the coolest people he'd ever met.  Any attraction I may have had to my co-worker instantly vanished.


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## Permatex (Mar 23, 2019)

I went to high school with this guy who used to wear an oversized trench coat, and high prescription glasses that made his eyes look huge. He also stank of sweat and cat piss and when people would make comments on it his excuse would be his "Severe soap allergy"

Oh yeah, and he used to smoke one native knockoff cigarette and one real brand cigarette at the same time, claiming that it made the knockoff brand taste less shitty. He was also a self proclaimed Vampire and Juggalo.

Anyways, I took a step out of my history class one day to take a piss. While I was pissing I felt someone grab my shoulders, I thought it was one of my friends fucking with me so I kind of laughed but then I heard his voice, "Hey man, I got something to show you."

I said "Uhh... alright? Just give me a second to finish up here bro, I'm kind of busy.

When I turned around he was pointing at his neck, which had nasty almost infected looking bite marks on it. I asked him what the fuck that was.

Him : I'm a vampire, don't you know?
Me : Aren't vampires supposed to suck the blood? Not get theirs sucked?
Him : Yeah, well I'm a donor vampire, we also rob blood banks on the weekends.
Me : Okay... cool man, well I'll see you around, I'm gonna go back to class. Good luck with all that.

I don't know where he's at today, and his facebook profile appears to be innactive over the past 8 years or so. I guess he's out doing vampire stuff or something. I'm wondering if I should try to find a good picture to post.


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## PT 940 (Mar 24, 2019)

Permatex said:


> I went to high school with this guy who used to wear an oversized trench coat, and high prescription glasses that made his eyes look huge. He also stank of sweat and cat piss and when people would make comments on it his excuse would be his "Severe soap allergy"
> 
> Oh yeah, and he used to smoke one native knockoff cigarette and one real brand cigarette at the same time, claiming that it made the knockoff brand taste less shitty. He was also a self proclaimed Vampire and Juggalo.
> 
> ...



Yes, you should.


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 24, 2019)

I was a bit of an awkward teen, because I read a lot and in general (possibly correctly) felt that I was intellectually superior to most kids at my school, which naturally meant I was shunned from the popular kids' clique. I spent most of my high school days floating around the stoners, artfags (because I liked to draw) and Juggalos, and some of the other semi-outcasts who came from weird families full of alcoholics or the survivalist family kids who rode to school on dirt bikes and owned like 5 guns.

I can't say I saw a lot of weirdness, or maybe it just seems normal to me. I remember there was one retarded kid at school who we almost never saw because he was in Special Ed.


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## Permatex (Mar 24, 2019)

Yolandi said:


> Yes, you should.



All I could find, he's missing a lot of his accessories, but it's something to give you an idea hahaha.


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## Varg Did Nothing Wrong (Mar 24, 2019)

Permatex said:


> Spoiler: lmao
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 704658



Brent Treznor lookin' ass nigga.


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## The Penultimate Warrior (Mar 24, 2019)

I went to an all-boys secondary school, and at the induction day one kid wore what could only be described as a sailor suit and over the years concocted many excellent lies. He claimed to own a Nintendo 64 (before they'd even been released in Japan) given to him because he set a world record score at Street Fighter 2, but always forgot to bring any evidence. He did once bring a photo of his model girlfriend though, which was actually a picture taken in a park showing a random woman walking past. He also designed a car and took a picture of it to his local Toyota dealer, who liked it so much they put it into production.

His family were also very odd religious types who refused to let him attend any after school events. Wouldn't surprise me if he's now either living as a woman or part of some cult.


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## PT 940 (Mar 24, 2019)

The_Penultimate_Warrior said:


> His family were also very odd religious types who refused to let him attend any after school events. Wouldn't surprise me if he's now either living as a woman or part of some cult.



Woman.


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## madethistocomment (Mar 25, 2019)

Permatex said:


> All I could find, he's missing a lot of his accessories, but it's something to give you an idea hahaha.View attachment 704658


Onision, is that you?


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## FuckedUp (Mar 26, 2019)

This isn't as "out there" as most of these, but there was this new kid in eighth grade who pretty much got a schoolwide reputation as an IRL lolcow. He was previously homeschooled which definitely explains a ton of this, but it's not like middle schoolers cared. I know we were assholes.

From the start of the year, he constantly talked about kid's stuff like the annoying orange and the croods (this was 2013-14) and said the stuff everyone else liked was "demonic" and should be banned. He was also obsessed with dinosaurs and dragons and got upset very easily over people making fun of them.

In math class a couple weeks into the year, the teacher was out of the room and someone was walking around showing everyone "8==)" on his calculator. When he saw it, he exclaimed "_it's a dinosaur bone!_" I was also in that class so I got to witness it first-hand. Then there was this time he explained in great detail how there was an alternate dimension full of dinosaur cyborgs planning to take over ours.

He also sucked up to teachers constantly, reminding them of the homework and snitching. There was this kid who sometimes walked up behind people and said "boo," which never upset anyone, but when he did it to him he literally fucking screamed and got him in trouble. He actually wondered why everyone was always pissed at him for "doing the right thing" 

Also, he just acted like a 7-year-old, uncontrollably laughing at unfunny shit (even for 13/14-year-olds) and making weird facial expressions to try being funny.

What didn't fucking help at all was that whenever people made fun of him, he got mad and really defensive in a way that drew as much attention to himself as possible. Eventually he started crawling under lunch tables to "spy" on us saying things about him.

He didn't show up in high school the next year, so I'm guessing he went back to being homeschooled for obvious reasons.


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## ForgedBlades (Mar 26, 2019)

We had a whole family of homeschooled kids move into my school junior year. They were all extremely fucking weird. The one who was my age talked in this bizarre accent that I can only describe as a cross between British cockney and a stereotypical old time southern plantation owner. This was in the midwest, and neither of his siblings talked like this.  One memory that sticks out vividly was the time he was giving a presentation in English class. He couldn't get the CD player he was using to work, and then went on this tirade about modern technology and how record players were superior. Like I said, fucking weird. Not even autistic weird, just weird.

His younger brother was just a straight up aspie. The most normal of the three was their sister who was on the speech team with me. High strung, but she could at least carry on a conversation. Kind of a cutie pie tomgirl thing going on, but I wouldn't dare get near it.


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## PT 940 (Mar 27, 2019)

FuckedUp said:


> This isn't as "out there" as most of these, but there was this new kid in eighth grade who pretty much got a schoolwide reputation as an IRL lolcow. He was previously homeschooled which definitely explains a ton of this, but it's not like middle schoolers cared. I know we were assholes.
> 
> From the start of the year, he constantly talked about kid's stuff like the annoying orange and the croods (this was 2013-14) and said the stuff everyone else liked was "demonic" and should be banned. He was also obsessed with dinosaurs and dragons and got upset very easily over people making fun of them.
> 
> ...



Did anyone tell this kid that dragons were demonic, just to mess with him?


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## MerriedxReldnahc (Apr 1, 2019)

In my college days I was aquainted with someone called Loper. That's not an unfortunate nickname that she was given, she voluntarily wanted to be called Loper.


Spoiler: Loper



Let's start with her physically, since initially she was only a strange sight that I would come across while waiting for my ride after class. Imagine the final boss of butch lesbians, dressed like the sort of dude who's main passions in life are Ted Nugent and truck driver culture. 
 She had big ol' titties that were down to her waist which emphasized her strange body shape, which was even further emphasized by her strange lumbering gait (more on that in a bit). She was hunched over and yet still very tall and quite stocky. Her face too had an odd shape, like her head itself was really small.  Her hair really defies explaination- it was like a really curly, long skullet that she later added a very sparce fouxhawk to. The top wasn't totally gone and therefore not a true skullet, but it was very, very thin and by the time she got the fouxhawk she had very little to work with on top. And it all looked very wet 100% of the time  She had the sort of presence that made you immedietly think that she was going to start hollering at you for some reason, she just possessed angry trailer trash energy. I should also mention that she's probably in her late 50's or so. Her wife, who've I've seen a few times, looks far more normal other than being 6'6 and built like a linebacker. She just looks perpetually exhausted and haggard. 

I later had the great fortune of being in a few classes and extracurricular things with Loper. She wasn't really that terrible but she only had two main ways of communicating- a gruff and surly grumble or straight up hollering like your drunk aunt. She's one of those students that had been at the college forever and just takes classes to be doing something with her life, so many of the teachers knew her. She's just roll in to say hi to teachers in the middle of their lessons and you could see the exasperation in their faces as they tactfully tried to shoo her out. 
It was in that time that I learned a few things about her- First, Loper. It's a play on her last name, Lopez.  She insists that everyone call her that.

Second, she does have some kind of learning disability. And it's quite bad. She once tried to get one of her teachers in trouble with the administration for calling her illiterate. Thing is, she's fucking illiterate. She can't read and she can barely write. I didn't realize how bad until she asked me to make a club poster for her. She gave me a copy she made herself and it was horrifying how badly written it was. Everything, even our college's name, was spelled wrong. It was like a 7 year old had wrote it. Suddently the weird head shape and the hollering made a lot more sense.

Third thing I learned is that she has multiple sclerosis, which is sad. I know a few other people who deal with it and it sounds shitty, and hers seemed to escalate very quickly. At first she had that weird gait, which later lead to her needing a cane. This also lead to her stumbling and smashing her head on things when she fell, and this poor woman didn't need to have any more brain damage than she already had. Later on it got to the point where she was in a power chair, so she could careen down the halls in her scooter decorated with a ton of Ninja Turtles merch. 
Oh, did I forget to mention that she's obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Ninja turtles shit all over the scooter, all over her keychain and backpack, every single project in our bronzecasting class was some kind of damn ninja turtle created with her 7-year-old level of art skills. I might have photos somewhere, I'd have to dig to find them.  Wish I had a photo of her, she's really something.

Random funny moment- Sometime during the Ebola outbreak she randomly bellowed out (during a group meeting thing) that Obama was responsible for the whole U.S Ebola situation.


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## Rafal Gan Ganowicz (Apr 13, 2020)

I went to a Collegiate Institute (academic and arts focussed). Me and all my friends picked lockers in the back hall because it was right beside the smoking pit. (Yes, I'm old). Anyhow, the school had a program to integrate tards tucked away at the back, where our lockers were. One gigantic tard with no ears would sneak up behind you , scream "MACHO MAN!!!!" and try to wrestle you. Name was Paul. There was also a hypersexual pair of twins(twin tards) one of whom had a massive crush on my buddy Joe. When leaving him notes  "from her" in his locker failed to have the desired effect, I left one "from him" in hers, with professions of lust, and including his parents landline # and address. She harrassed him for weeks. It was worth every drop of blood and bruise I paid for that one.  My favorite target was  Stephen. OG autist from 1970's vintage. The trick with him was to be nice and converse with him, and then call him "Mike" during the chat. He'd chimp TF out and have to be restrained by his wranglers while the triggerman would protest " I don't know what's wrong, we were just talking about cars" or the like. Good times.


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## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Apr 13, 2020)

I grew up with one really, really weird kid that I'll call Mike. This was before anime, furries and all that so he wasn't weird in that way. I think we were in the same class from 4th grade up to 9th but I didn't know him, no one really did. He had a really nutty single mom and these days she would be a fibromyalgia sufferer, anti-vaxxer, allergic to electricity and munchhausen-by-proxy type of mom. She made it hard for him to make friends because he could only have one friend over at the time, during specific hours and outside of school he could only go out at specific hours for certain lengths of time. That clashed completely with how everyone else lived, everyone else were free-range kids that gathered in groups. Going to Mike's would mean that a single person from the group would split off and go there, and his mom was nutty and controlling, so no one wanted to go.

Mike gave off tremendous amounts of nervous energy and his mom made it impossible for him to integrate and socialize, everyone realized that. He was the only one exempt from any rough play, heckling and bullying. Even the chunky nerd that wore a suit to class got dropped on his head a couple of times or was the victim of "fag in the cage". Not Mike, if someone from another class tried to do something everyone from my class ganged up on that guy. It's weird to feel absolute pity for someone when in 6th grade, which is roughly around the age you start to develop a more nuanced sense of morality and empathy. Me and many other classmates tried to be nice to him, but it was hard.

The last time I saw him was when finishing 9th grade, we went to different high-schools after that, but it wasn't the last time I heard from him. 10-12 years after that he called me, he had dug up my number even though I was living in a different country. He had questions about how to get past a certain part of a videogame. I know that was just an opener to start a conversation, it was still weird, I recommended gamefaqs because I hadn't played the game.

As an adult I finally understood how fucked up his mom made him. How do you have a conversation with a Norman Bates type of person you didn't really know and haven't seen in a decade? Still living at home with mom? Have you killed any prostitutes lately? He's a lost cause.


Positive outcomes:

Another weird kid was a strange fat guy with a bad haircut, his parents were turbo-religious, some kind of hardcore pentecostal type of thing so most things were off-limits to him. His only friend was a dude with a majestic dad-bod at 14, he was skinny-fat with a gut and wore Adidas pants before it was cool. A brave choice during puberty. He also had a bad haircut and aspired to work at a gas-station, an attainable goal. They merged into our class at 8th grade I think.
Quite the couple, IO is a good representation of them standing next to each other.

Teen-dad-bod turned out to be the Diego Maradona of local soccer, despite not training with any of the youth teams because his family was poor, he just trained in his backyard by himself and playing pickup games (that's the beauty of soccer). It was quite the shock when in gym he almost shuffled across the field with the ball and the best dudes with sports dads that put them in soccer at age 6 couldn't do shit. He wasn't great at scoring goals but he could carry the ball across the field and pass it to someone that could. I think he went on to play division B or C for a while, none of the other guys accomplished that.

His friend, the strange fat guy with a weird religious upbringing had a huge crush on one of the more popular girls in our class, not the trashy ones but the one of two that had some class. He realized that being a weird fat sperg wouldn't get him anywhere so he started working out and doing normal things. 4-5 years later after 9th grade, when visiting my hometown, I ran into him. I didn't recognize him, how could I, but he recognized me and he was fucking ripped. Like Daniel Craig in that Bond movie where they actually sold a popsicle out of him coming out of the water, or Hugh Jackman at his swolest. That's when he explained that he understood that he needed to change to have a chance. Did he get a chance at her? No, but he got a new life and didn't feel like he lost anything.

Mad respect to him, he was on the road to potential lolcow in 8th-9th grade, in fifteen years he could have been like that german dragon guy, and he completely turned that around.


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## WonderWino (Apr 13, 2020)

Gather round ladies and gentlemen and let me tell you the tale of a a kid I grew up and went to school with. a kid named steve

Steve started out a fairly normal kid when we met in elementary school around 1994. He did all the normal things a kid that age does, liked nintendo and computer games, lego and had a great deal of talent when it came to drawing. Remember this as it will be important later in the story. So, we lived close to each other, were put next to each other in the same class and had similar interests so naturally we became friends. Things went pretty much as you'd expect them to for the next few years. Though back in 94 he did get in shit for sneaking onto an on location set when they were shooting an episode of the x files and fucking up a scene (they were filming like a mile from my house at the time) It was the first season episode 'shapes' if anyone is wondering

Flash forward a few years to the fall of 1997 and things start to change. At first it was just behavior that was a bit strange, like when he would wander the woods behind his apartment complex looking for something. Nobody ever found out exactly what it was he was looking for and he never said what it was himself but he always had this deadly serious look and acted like he was some commando that was expecting to get discovered and shot at any second if you know what I mean. Around the same time, during school hours, he would hang around a small corner of the field during recess and lunch hours, because there was an old drainage sewer manhole entrance there that hadn't been touched probably in years by that point. He seemed to think there was something very special about the area and would guard it like a hawk, eating his lunch while standing on it and scanning the schoolyard with his eyes for what I assume was anybody coming over to screw with it, which nobody to my knowledge ever did. He referred to this as 'the mystery' and that he was 'guarding it from interlopers' to pretty much everybody. Teachers included. Though at the time and being a kid I don't think anybody really took it seriously as a red flag and assumed it was some weird game he came up with. There were other red flags that in retrospect are obvious but wtf do kids know right, like the time we went on a march break ski trip. He pissed himself while he was asleep and when we all woke up, went skiing as though nothing happened. He didn't change his clothes, piss included the entire week. Keep in mind we were living in an RV for the week we were there and let that unpleasantness sink in

During the previous few years steve had been honing his artistic skills quite a bit and at one point, I want to say a month or so before all the christmas stuff really hit into high gear our teacher noticed his talent and asked him to do the artwork for a sort of comic to promote the school, as part of some school wide project to bring all the classes together for various parts of it and promote the school in general to parents and all that, to be shown off at a school christmas fair just before everyone went on christmas break. He agreed and the teacher talked with him a bit about it and, as it later came out, he never really gave steve any specific instructions on what the content of the comic he was drawing was actually supposed to be

and boy was that a mistake. Buckle up kids because this is where shit starts to get real

So a few weeks go by and the fair I mentioned is a few days away and steve comes to class one day happy as hell and clearly quite proud of himself, and announces to several people that he has finally finished his comic, adding that he decided to go a bit beyond what was initially asked for because he had alot of ideas that he wanted to put to paper, or something to that effect. Seems reasonable right? So the teacher tells him to go take some time to set up all his work over at the library where the rest of the classes had set all their stuff up because that was where the fair was pretty much going to be centered around, for all the students, parents, staff, etc.. to see when they came in for the christmas concerts in a few days. So steve takes all the stuff he brought with him (and it was clearly far more than just a comic, there were rolls of those sheets of white paper/cardboard things you get from the dollar store poking out of his bag so naturally we all wondered exactly what it was he came up with

So maybe 20 minutes goes by and steve comes back having finished his setup. Naturally the teacher is eager to see what he worked so hard on so he takes the class down to the library to see for ourselves

That my fellow kiwis, was mistake number two. Not checking it out for himself first. Imagine what was going through the teachers head as the horror of what steve had created to show off to the school community dawned on him. What was it you ask? 

Penises. No, I don't mean porn, or pictures of penises taken from the internet, or anatomical drawings or whatever else you might be thinking right now. No, I mean something much more fucked up. Steve came up with his own character, you might even say his own mini franchise, and he took this opportunity to show off his creativity to the entire school 

Enter Mr Happy Esquire. Yes, you read that right. Imagine if you will the beloved mascot we all know as Mr Peanut. The peanut body, the top hat, the monocle. Now imagine if you will a cartoon penis that looks very similar. Mr Happy Esquire was, according to steve, a cartoon aristocratic penis with a top hat, a monocle, a fashionable cane and evening dress, complete with old fashioned tails (to cover the testicles)

Mr Happy favored drinking martinis. Mr Happy was very rich. Mr Happy used his money to build a private army of 'happy warriors' 

Oh yes, Mr Happy Esquire had his own army. The 'foreskin commandos.' These commandos were dressed like soldiers. They wore body armor, they had helmets, backpacks and assault rifles. They fought wars against other, larger penises.  They flew around in warships made from hollowed out roast chickens, outfitted with engines, weapons and a cockpit. They were called 'flying chicken battlecruisers'

Yes. You heard that correctly.  Mr Happy had an army, that fought other penises, dressed like soldiers while flying around in roast chicken ships. Mr Happy also fought against humans as well. His 'warriors' would attack people by, and I quote 'scurrying up their pantleg to attack'

I never asked what exactly that 'attack' consisted of. Neither did anyone else

The comic was a 30+ page comic, fully illustrated, about the battles between the various penis armies, humans and the adventures of Mr Happy, all taking place in and around the school. The big cardboard sheet I mentioned? a massive drawing of the inside of a military base 'manned' as it were, by Mr Happy and his soldiers, including several hangers with said flying chicken battlecruisers being outfitted for battle. This base was located.......you guessed it.....beneath the manhole steve so zealously guarded from all interlopers

Steve proudly showed off his creation to the class, making a point of mentioning how it wouldn't have been possible without the encouragement of our teacher. He took it about as well as you would expect

He totally lost his shit and immediately started into a rant about how inappropriate what he did was, talking faster and faster with his voice gaining in pitch until he was talking nearly like a cartoon character himself. This attracted alot of attention. From the librarian, the secretaries, the principal. Other students and teachers who came out to see what the commotion was all about.

What did they see? a teacher ranting at a 12 year old about how inappropriate it was to advertise the school with 'magic penises' 

Steve stood there completely oblivious. He had no idea what he did wasn't going to be well received, he had no idea what he did was considered wrong.

Steve quickly received a visit from social services and had a psych evaluation naturally. They put him on antidepressants for some reason and sent him back to school

He acted like nothing happened, because as far as he was concerned nothing important did

Oh but that wasn't the end. No, not by a long shot. Seventh graders being seventh graders did what they do best - they realized he was different and bullied the shit out of him

But one day steve couldn't handle it anymore. He refused to. He fought back, the only way he knew how

.....he asked himself 'what would Mr Happy Esquire do?'

and then he did it. Oh yes, he did it. Right in the middle of being pushed around he finally lost it. Steve turned around, leaned forward, put his hands on top of his head and started making a pulling motion up and down the sides of his head, like he was trying to pull his scalp up and down by the sides of his head. He accompanied this by shaking his head rapidly side to side like a spastic while making a very loud 'eeeeee! eeeeee! EEEEEEEEE!' sound and tried to headbutt the guy who was harassing him. Ended up coming on so sudden that the kid was hit in the face and knocked cold for a short time

No, this was not an autistic screeching breakdown. Not as you're probably thinking anyway. Steve quickly explained to the teacher that came running to the scene that he was emulating one of his 'happy warriors.' The pulling motions around his head? He imagined himself as one of his 'happy warriors' pulling his foreskin down over his head and pissing on his opponent. The spastic movements of his head? Its what happy warriors do when they attack their enemies. Think like a guy shaking his dick off after pissing. The 'eeeeee!' sounds? The sound steve imagined that his creations make when they are angry and battling their enemies. A penis warcry if you will.

Steve was committed temporarily for a psych evaluation later that day, as you can imagine

Steve naturally changed schools after this, when he was out and medicated. But I saw him a year later when we all started high school at the same school. We had a few classes together, but nobody ever brought up what had happened that day and he acted like it never did. Nor did he ever draw anything again that I ever saw. Eventually his parents moved and he left the school

The funny thing is, a few months back he popped up on my 'people you may know' thing for facebook, so I checked out his profile and you know what he does now? He's a fucking engineer if you can believe it. With a wife and kids

I wonder, do they know the story of Mr Happy Esquire and how a penis army, riding into glorious battle in their chicken battleships led to their dad spending time in a psych ward?

I'm thinking probably not


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## Guts Gets Some (Apr 13, 2020)

There was this dork at my school who not only liked Digimon well into high school, but like a total loon, actively provoked and wanted to "Digimon battle" at lunch with his friend, IE, acting like the monsters themselves.
He even made really shitty props to sort of feel cool like the Digimon he was fighting as. Like, Stingmon with his shoulder spikes for example.

And he did, much to his friend's chagrin, in front of a huge crowd during lunch time. His friend was so embarrassed he walked off, and w hile he also stopped doing it because of that, he never cared why, and continued to act weird and want to act out things in public, even if a bit more subtly.







Wait. Was this was supposed to be about_ other_ people?


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## Basketball Jones (Apr 14, 2020)

WonderWino said:


> *MR HAPPY ESQUIRE AND THE OBVIOUS CRIES FOR HELP*



I’ve never read a story about a person where at the moment of the big reveal, the funny story you thought you were reading becomes overwrought with an unnerving amount of subtext...and after reading that journey, I’m left with this question:

was it just autism, or was Steve unintentionally revealing some dark shit about himself and his  “manhole”


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## YourMommasBackstory (Apr 14, 2020)

There was a fat as fuck guy in high school, who was a massive weeb and he played dota 2. He was very uncomfortable to be around because he always talked about sexual stuff even with girls. His mom once came to visit family I lived in, since they were friends, and she told me how he loves me and how bad I am for breaking his heart.
Now once a year or two he finds me on social media and tells me how beautiful was my prom dress.
And his main income is driving around villages and giving lectures on how to earn money on crypto. As any person in info business he never earned anything on it.


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## Dwight Frye (Apr 14, 2020)

I've talked about a guy I went to high school with before named George. They're funny enough stories I'll just repost here. Last I heard of him he was expelled after staff found a hit list in his locker of students he was planning to kill, myself and my friend being on that list as well. Never heard from him again. 



Spoiler: George sees me as his Diablo boyfriend



George was known in school as the weird loner kid nobody wanted to be friends with. He was a pale, short, blue haired fatass who had an ego the size of Jupiter. My friend and I, being young and stupid, thought if we reached out to him that it might improve his social status somewhat, knowing that he could make friends if he tried.

This was around the time Diablo 2 was new, and a lot of people were obsessed with it, myself and my friend included. We asked George if he played, and when he confirmed, we asked if he wanted to hop online and play with us sometime. He seemed interested, but said his character was pretty low level and might not be much use. "No prob!" I said. Told him to meet me on tonight and I'd help rush him. 

We got on, and his character was only about twenty odd levels behind my own. Easy enough. I'm hackin' n slashin' and he's gaining levels. Throughout this, he keeps asking me very personal questions that were making me uncomfortable, most of them regarding what or who I jacked off to and if I found anyone at school attractive. It seemed to me like he was awkwardly trying to fish around and see if I thought he was cute based on how he kept trying to steer the conversation. I tried politely telling him a few times to focus on the game or talk about something else. He got really pissy out of nowhere and said something like "keep getting me those levels, bitch before I rape ya with my bigass sword!" 

I said "fuck this" and logged out. George found me and kept spamming me to recreate the game. Me, being young and exceptional thinking I was clever told him "twinkle twinkle little whore, I just put you on ignore" muted him and continued playing. 

Next day at school, I was sitting in the cafeteria when George comes storming up to my table, slams his backpack down next to me and screams at the top of his lungs "WHY DID YOU CALL ME A WHORE LAST NIGHT!!‽??" 

He's red faced and close to crying. I'm embarrassed as fuck with everyone watching us. I try saying "George, what..." and he cuts me off, still rage crying screaming "WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU? WHY DID YOU CALL ME YOUR WHORE!!‽?" and girl-runs out of the cafeteria crying, leaving his backpack next to me as people start busting a gut. Needless to say, it did not help his social standing, he got picked on mercilessly for his crazy man crush on me, and I got my fair share as well for being the recipient.
/SPOILER]



Spoiler: George puts me in my place



I mentioned before that George had dyed blue hair. Nobody really cared if someone had crazy hair colors, but George, being a 5'4 shorty who weighed probably 200 pounds or so couldn't pull off the look. He'd get made fun of. You could tell it bugged him, but he'd usually ignore it the best he could without any major explosions. 

During lunch one day, a couple of friends and I were helping each other construct Magic the Gathering decks (so glad I escaped that financial black hole...) and George bulldogs his way into our group. We kind of tolerate his presence but aren't really making an effort to include him, having learned our lesson prior. He keeps yammering on and on and we keep giving him curt "uh huh" "yeah" "okay then" responses, hoping he'd take the hint. He doesn't. 

One friend finally has enough and snaps "will you fuck off already, Papa Smurf?"

George loses his shit. Goes into his patented by this point rage-cry screaming "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR ABUSE!!!! AND WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT HIM WINTERMOONSLIGHT? I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!!‽??" 

I laughed at the Papa Smurf comment which just sent him into a bigger rage. He screams at me "FUCK YOU, FLUFFY BATMAN!!!!" and runs off, while I'm simultaneously cracking up at being called Fluffy Batman and wondering why the hell a 16 year old guy would think that very odd "insult" something a kindergartner would use would just wreck me.
/SPOILER]



Spoiler: George tells on us



In addition to all of George's other annoying qualities, he was also a snitch. During lunch, some of us would walk off school campus to this secluded little area and smoke. George hated smoking, and yet he'd be there trying to moralize and wag his finger at us. True to his weird mancrush on me, he kept saying he didn't want to "see me go down a dark path" 

One day, he was being particularly obnoxious and telling this one girl that her smoking made her "incredibly undesirable to guys like him" she got annoyed and said "will someone please fucking punch him already?" You could tell she didn't really want him to get hurt and was just exasperated. 

One guy there took it to heart, shrugged and said "ok" and slugged George in the stomach. Everyone there was tired of George's shit, but no one wanted to actually hurt him, just have him fuck off already. Dude who threw the punch got a lot of "dude! not cool!" kind of responses. 

I asked George if he was ok. George starts blubbering, looks at me and yells "I'M TELLING!!!" and runs off back to school where he tattled to the principal and named all of us. We all got in trouble, phone calls to our parents and George marked himself as a prime target to everyone and every clique. This was a 16 year old guy who ran off ugly crying to tattle like a little kid trying to be teacher's pet.
/SPOILER]


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## Crunchy Chick (Apr 14, 2020)

Basketball Jones said:


> I’ve never read a story about a person where at the moment of the big reveal, the funny story you thought you were reading becomes overwrought with an unnerving amount of subtext...and after reading that journey, I’m left with this question:
> 
> was it just autism, or was Steve unintentionally revealing some dark shit about himself and his  “manhole”


This is part of the plot left woefully unresolved? What was in the manhole? Why did he spend so much time haunting the forest at night? I need answers.


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## Pitere pit (Apr 14, 2020)

When I was in 10th and 11th grade, my best friend met on her class a girl that was 18 and still was in 10th grade, she was a total druggie but a chill gal, we went to our first street party for her birthday, great times. However, she was a total mess, one time my best friend went to her house, it was full of shit, she was living with her boyfriend and some friends and they invited my friend to snort some lines, obviously she said no. She dropped out, and we don't know what happened to her, we think that she is dead.
Another one is from my current year, she was a musician but suffered of schizophrenia, she sang like an angel and drew well, I was amazed when I saw some of her doodles. We don't talk that much because she dropped out too, but from what I have seen she is doing well, she is still composing new songs and she is breaking through, if she ever read this I just want so say to her that god speed my gal.


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## Stoneheart (Apr 14, 2020)

So there was this crazy girl in my tradeschool, she was one year under me (we werent only 15 per class and 3 classes at all so we were all pretty close).
she was very quite and something was off about her, she was chainsmoking some strange black vanilla fags every break, her clothes were always to big so it looked like she had shrunk since she but them all.
She had a very strange style, always black and always some sort of flowers.  nothing to strange but still not normal.
I was a tutor for 2 of the 3 years(we had a lack of teachers) so i came to talk a bit with her, she talked about a spider collection, that she never goes out and feels strange in groups, still a bit strange but nothing to strange. She never talked to boys and very little to girls. nobody realy cared because there were plenty of hotter girls around.   at our school party she would just stay by herself or talk with some outcast girl.
in our last year we went to a Italy trip with her class to take sea samples and shit. everybody was drinking, getting high and stuff horny drunk teenagers do. she was sitting around reading or so(atleast she wasnt hang over every day like the rest of us).

nothing realy strange till now, just a shy loner. well ... about 3 months after leaving school i went to a goth party in a local castle( not my style but the location was super cool). nice people, well mannered... there where plenty of dance areas and i was wandering around them alot to meet some friends and check out everything.   so i enter some small dungeon with a bit strange music, and there she was, in a dress that looked like undergarments, dancing on an ancient stone table with some other girls while drinking from a plastic goblet(they served wine in them).  i winked like you greet somebody you dont realy want to talk to but have to greet. she came to me and started talking,  alot of talking:  She came from a strange musician family and was so ashamed of their living style,
her mother and step mothers were both living with her dad and she had 4 (half)siblings, that she just didnt wanted anybody at school to know about it.

she took me to a quite place in the castle and made it a pretty loud place after i promised her to not talk about all of this to anybody at school( i was leaving for university anyway so that wasnt to hard for me).

Turns out the quite girl from school that never realy wanted contact to anybody was a gothic slut that was ashamed for her family.





> Now once a year or two he finds me on social media and tells me how beautiful was my prom dress.


let us judge if he is right or wrong....


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## Chan Fan (Apr 15, 2020)

I went to high school with a girl named Ashley, who was born in South Korea but adopted and raised as an only child by a white family here in the US.  She was the extremely well-adjusted, in the Advanced Placement program and was getting along pretty well in school...until she met Eddie.  Eddie was a trenchcoat-wearing goth kid.  Eddie's girlfriend didn't like him hanging out so much with Ashley, who he was suddenly obsessed with.  He had access to a lot of different drugs, which he shared with her and every time I saw her for months she was always high.  One day she wouldn't talk to me but just kept opening her mouth, showing me where she rammed a safety pin through her tongue (that she would later tell people she didn't remember doing.)  

We went on a field trip during this time and I found her in the bathroom, and she jumped when she saw me, asking if I was really there.  I touched her shoulder and she yelped and ran out.  She transferred to another school the next year and I saw her twice after I graduated, both times she was with a total loser guy who reeked of weed/cigarettes (also the guys looked a lot alike.)  And right after Eddie stopped hanging out with Ashley he begged his girlfriend to get back with him but she didn't.


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## saisegeha (Apr 15, 2020)

In sixth grade I had a classmate who was 3 years older than the rest of us, wore his mom's bra (I think because of mantits? To this day I still don't know) and  her panties, was obsessed with boats and regularly decided it's a good idea to puke on his desk when he was asked if he did his homework.

Met him again after like 14 years, looks fit,  has a stable job as a web app developer and a girlfriend, no idea how he did it but I'm happy for him.


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## Rafal Gan Ganowicz (Apr 15, 2020)

TiggerNits said:


> She sounds like a classic Army or Navy enlisted chick, tbh


Sounds like a classic dependapotamus who will quickly drop her ownmilitary ambitions the moment she finds some poor guy  who she can ruin his own ambitions, both military and personal. I suggest poisoning her.


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## Monika H. (Apr 15, 2020)

Apart from the usual assortment of autists and crazies, there was a very peculiar classmate I had who was an unusually tall girl, with short hair and a very masculine appearance. 
Very tomboyish, kinda nice but she would also give you a good head fist rubbing or strongarm if she felt like it. 
She also started getting lots of tattoos and working out so she got very though looking, and I assumed she was a full on butch lesbian.
Instead she ended up with a friend of mine and they are still together 5+ years later.
According to him, she's actually really delicate behind closed doors and really submissive in bed.


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## Rafal Gan Ganowicz (Apr 15, 2020)

Monika H. said:


> Apart from the usual assortment of autists and crazies, there was a very peculiar classmate I had who was an unusually tall girl, with short hair and a very masculine appearance.
> Very tomboyish, kinda nice but she would also give you a good head fist rubbing or strongarm if she felt like it.
> She also started getting lots of tattoos and working out so she got very though looking, and I assumed she was a full on butch lesbian.
> Instead she ended up with a friend of mine and they are still together 5+ years later.
> According to him, she's actually really delicate behind closed doors and really submissive in bed.


Pics


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## Celebrate Nite (Apr 15, 2020)

I remember this one chick in my graduating class who was known as the "psycho bitch".  She was a blonde who wore a back brace for most of her school life (at least what I can remember, not sure if she graduated high school with that thing on).  It was kinda obvious too because she wore her shirts over it which made her look like she had a box for a body.  You could tell she got picked on every year in school because she became distrusting of other people in school.  Even when people like me who also got picked on in school tried to talk to her and be her friend, she would give us a death stare like she wanted us to go away.  Heaven forbid you SLIGHTLY touched one of her things (even a pen), she would go into an autistic screech.

Last time I saw her was a few years ago working at a computer store and I actually had a conversation with her.  She came off as normal, lost the back brace, and even wound up meeting a guy and getting engaged to him.


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## Polexia Aphrodisia (Apr 16, 2020)

I'll just copy from Personal Lolcows.



PolexiaAphrodisia said:


> My friendship with my best friend was created out of mutual dislike of this one girl, our own personal lolcow. I'll try to hit key points.
> - Weeb. Big weeb. Milanoo cosplays that are too small, terrible Soul Eater fanfiction, openly gushes about sexual roleplay of underage characters.
> - Terrible hygiene, overweight, bad smell, bad teeth.
> - Came out as "bisexual" when it started to be a cool thing to do. "Dated" like three of her friends including a self-dx schizophrenic wolfaboo, but treated them all like shit. Made a huge show of kissing them in public.
> ...





PolexiaAphrodisia said:


> I pretty much summed up everything, but there was my interaction with her in Creative Writing Club (basically how I first came to know her). She used to bring in her horrifyingly Mary Sue-like Soul Eater fanfiction, even though it was kind of an unspoken rule that fanfiction was not allowed since it's hard to critique something without knowing the context and of course not everyone reads Soul Eater. It was mostly just romantic fluff crap that went into too much detail about what Maka was wearing, etc. Her grammar was really horrible and she consistently forgot the "use a comma at the end of a line of dialogue" rule, but blamed that on Microsoft Word correcting it (obviously a lie). She also used to pull Soul Eater manga out of her bag to display pictures to people which of course was awkward as hell. We flat-out banned fanfiction eventually, but that didn't stop her. She started writing fanfiction of _herself_. This was when she was dating C and had her little FBI fantasy, so she wrote a story about an FBI agent with her exact same name. In the story her daughter gets kidnapped by some serial killer or something, but she basically showed the same emotion about it as she would if a fancy lamp was stolen. It was Chris-Chan level self-glorification. Of course we ripped it to shreds as nicely as we could. Eventually she stopped attending, but would still go to these after school "open mic" nights that Creative Writing Club used to host before the school stopped letting us use the auditorium. Basically, it was supposed to encourage students to come up and share poetry, a brief story, or a skit that they had put together. Inevitably there were a couple of people who would bring a guitar and sing, and someone did the Cups song, but that was supposed to be the extent of the music. I used to do famous bad fanfiction readings that would go over well. This weebchild though. Apparently the first time she went to one, she stood up and started with "Who here has experienced heartbreak before?" and then started bitching about her imaginary boyfriend until the club president eventually told her to get off the stage. When I first saw her "perform", though, she got up and sang the entire Black Butler opening theme song. In fucking Japanese. Without musical accompaniment. Nobody could understand what she was saying, it was off key, and it dragged on for years. Another time she brought a friend who didn't even go to our school, and this person just stood up and read a "scary story" from some website off of her phone, trying to be funny by inserting comments but really just confusing everyone since we didn't know what was part of the story and what was her attempt at comedy...





PolexiaAphrodisia said:


> Update: weebchild is officially engaged. She was "engaged" to C as well but this time W actually bought her a ring (pretty sure it's a fake and if not it was the cheapest option available). No word on how they are going to support themselves, afford a wedding, or whether or not their honeymoon will be in their parents' basement. Her mom commented "I don't see a ring" on the relationship status change, so I'm presuming that her mom also remembered the "I'm engaaaaaaaged to C!" phase and is having none of this foolishness.
> I also remember hearing from some friends (who were in weebchild's grade) that she had been pretending to date a 21-year-old Italian model/soccer player when she was fifteen, and she was also "engaged" to him via a plastic ring that clearly came out of one of those 25-cent pod machines. He "died in a car crash" or "died of cancer" (I forget which one it was) when enough people started calling her on her bullshit...
> I'm taking bets among my friends who know weebchild on whether or not she and C will actually have the wedding, and whether or not it'll be Black Butler cosplay themed.



She is actually married now. She's fully trooned out and goes by a Shakespearean name from the anime "Serpico" I think. Their wedding was RWBY themed in a buffet restaurant. Their cake was a sheet cake with two plastic RWBY figurines stuck in. Their officiant wore shrine maiden cosplay. Every now and then I check in on her. Apparently a bunch of her fat weebo friends got fired from Walmart at one point for theft.

edit: there are pics in the first quote


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## NoodleFucker3000 (Apr 16, 2020)

She was a friend of a friend that I disliked a lot by she would brag openly about cybering with this guy and how he bought her expensive gifts for her nudes.  She got i think an iPhone, which at the time was a big fucking deal, as well as other expensive electronics and a fur suit that she'd wear to our high-school. I mean as an adult, I see how she was a victim and I feel bad about all the jokes I made at her expense but as a kid I fucking hated this dumb bitch bc of how she would just brag about this ugly fucker giving her  stuff in exchange for her dignity. 









						Michael Parks Traveled 1,959 Miles To Have Sex
					

Girl was 16, say police :  A 21-year-old Wyoming man has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after allegeldy flying from hi...




					www.thedeadkidsofmyspace.com
				




I had actually planned on going with my friend to meet CrazyGirl and PedoGuy and I even got out my old camcorder complete w/ spare tapes and I was planning on filming it to share on MySpace. Lmao. Sadly he got partyvanned instantly. Lol.


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## An Sionnach Seang (Feb 27, 2022)

a girl I went to school with (20-25 years ago) was hypersexual, and her brother, a year younger, was openly gay and effeminate, which was considered very Islamic at the time
many years later, I found out that their father had been convicted for possessing child porn
what the fuck happened in that house?


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## Polexia Aphrodisia (Feb 28, 2022)

An Sionnach Seang said:


> what the fuck happened in that house?


Well, duh, the daddy was diddling them both.


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## zero-who (Feb 28, 2022)

I've got two. Both lived on my street as a kid. Changing the names, obviously, but I believe in nominative determinism and I'm picking names with the same "energy."


Spoiler: Trevor



Trevor was around a year older than me and actually kind of cool. He lived in the house literally right next door, so sometimes I'd walk over to his house to play Far Cry and GTA on his PlayStation, and he'd walk over to my house to play shit on my Wii. If you need a mental image of what he looks like, imagine a young Kevin Federline with a mullet and AJ Soprano's fashion sense, and you're honestly like 90% of the way there.

He was also an active menace to society and a pathological bullshitter, but we got along well and to his credit, I don't think much of that is his fault. He had a pretty shitty home life - his mother smoked pot constantly, didn't actually have custody of him (his grandparents did, and she lived in her car until she crashed it with him and his little sister in it), and reeked of skunk and cigarettes. His father wasn't in the picture (he said he lived in Florida and was the tattoo artist for The Rock, which again, was obvious bullshit). He also had a pretty bad case of untreated ADHD and never did too well in school because of it.

Anyway, I'll just summarize the weird shit he did in a bullet point list.

Went to the hospital for taking a pair of scissors and splitting his tongue open to look like a snake.
Dyed his hair bright orange one time for... some fucking reason.
Got suspended from the regular bus for a year (he said because he brought in brass knuckles, but take that with a grain of salt) and ended up having to hop on the tard bus for the rest of the year.
Just constantly said "my uncle works for Nintendo"-tier bullshit about whatever videogame we were playing at the time. Shit like "dude you can unlock Master Chief in Brawl if you beat All-Star Mode with Samus on Intense without taking damage" or "bro the next Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games is gonna be Mario vs Sonic vs Playstation and have Kratos and Crash Bandicoot in it." Okay, buddy. Whatever you say.
We started a fight club in the school gym, got caught by a teacher pretty much instantly, and somehow got away with it because we both decided to follow the First Rule of Fight Club and deny that anything ever happened when we got individually dragged to the principal's office. It's worth noting that neither of us had actually seen Fight Club at the time, this was just both of us independently refusing to snitch on the other without even knowing the other person was in trouble. This was before school cameras were a thing, but to this day, I have no idea how literally nothing happened. No phone call home, no follow-up interrogation, not even a detention, just one "yeah, I have literally no idea what you're talking about, Mr. Principal."
Lit his house on fire. He realized he fucked up big time immediately after and ran to my house to borrow the fire extinguisher, and he did end up putting it out without having to call the fire department, but there was still this huge circular "scar" on the porch where it had burned straight through the carpet and into the wood.
Anyway, he moved upstate with his grandparents once he started high school, but he's doing well for himself now, I think. I found his Instagram because he has a pretty unique last name, and he hasn't been arrested or anything yet. He did end up following in his mother's footsteps and becoming a stoner, but honestly, who can blame him?

He told me he was the star quarterback on the football team the last time I talked to him. It smells like his usual brand of bullshit, but I'd like to believe it's true.





Spoiler: Bennett



I knew Bennett since elementary school because we lived on the same street and thereby were on the same bus route. Unlike Trevor, there was nothing remotely "cool" about him. He was just a weird kid, and he might've been a little autistic in retrospect - he was obsessed with Pokémon, watched the anime religiously, and he would play the games for like, 10 hours a day most days. He would cry a lot, he would _snitch_ a lot, and me and Trevor both agreed that Bennett was a strange fucking child and tried not to associate with him (except if he was ripping on him).

I did end up going over his house one time though, because his mom and my mom were friends. I didn't go again, because not only did he go onto his computer and start showing me Pokémon transformation porn from DeviantArt (although I didn't know it was porn at the time), but he took me outside and started _eating bird shit off the ground so he could transform into a Muk_.

Yeah, I don't know why either. I didn't stick around for much longer after that.

We also got into a couple fights on the bus in junior high because he was a notoriously annoying sperg - the first time around, he stabbed me in the thigh with a pencil. The second time around, he bit my arm. I only got written up the second time, but I got off scot-free because he was too stupid to deny it and the principal was just appalled that he'd openly admit to biting someone like some sort of rabid animal.

In senior high, Bennett started hanging out with a bunch of lesbians, then grew his hair out, then trooned out, changed his name to Bebe, and apparently got outed by his mom in front of an entire church congregation. I didn't know any of that until he started crossdressing to school and talking in this awful, fake high-pitched voice - kind of like Yaniv's Elmo impersonation, and heard about it from a couple of friends. All of a sudden, the fixation on Pokémon TF porn made complete sense (although the coprophagia is still a mystery to me). The animal was getting his rocks off!

He works at a supermarket back in my hometown now. Still a troon, and still going by a stripper name, but I think he ditched the Elmo voice because my mom sees him while checking out sometimes and she would've mentioned it. I don't think he ever went to college. I know there's a history of depression in his family and his brother tried to kill himself twice, so I'm betting he'll probably join the 41% in five years or so.


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## Lucky Jim (Feb 28, 2022)

Though never coming close to getting laid then or now, I've always had a great interest in "sticking my dick in crazy." To that end, there was the girl, let's call her B., in marching band. She was rumored to be lesbian (she said she wasn't). She had a weird way of talking and held her instrument a stupid way, and was bullied often, and was overweight. But as I say I was fascinated and wanted some; we got along great, though we hung out really very little. Still I fantasized about her then and for years after; I would consider trying to reconnect, and parents would tell me "she's crazy, don't get tangled up with her." And in fact now she is a lesbian and is getting married to that end.

In fact every girl I was interested in in high school has come out as lesbian after high school, without fail.


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## A Nobody (Mar 18, 2022)

If you were to design a human being with the least possible amount of social awareness and sense of embarrassment, the result would be someone similar to one particular guy I went to High School with. I will refer to him as D.

The first exceptional thing I remember him doing was during language class. We were 14 or 15. Each day of the week for around a month, one of us had to do an oral presentation about whatever topic we wanted. D chose Kingdom Hearts for his, which could have been fine… if he had just gave us a quick summary of the game like a normal person. Instead, he told us, step by step, the whole plot of each world, alongside awful slideshows with like 40 lines of text each. We lost half of the damn class on this.

D had many crushes. Each year. And he thought everyone had to know about them. One day I entered the classroom early before the first hour, and I found another guy reading, out loud, a POEM he had written and given to one girl (who he had known for one month btw). D wasn't even discrete about it. She was there, and understandably looked like she wanted to vanish.
He did the same thing to another girl, the same year. At some point he told us he had a crush on a teacher as well. Really healthy stuff.

His last and creppiest action happened during a school trip. The whole class was walking together, I was next to a friend with long hair and D was next to her. At some point I looked to the side and I noticed that he was stroking her hair, without her realising! When we immediately confronted him about it he just started saying that it looked pretty soft and using it as an excuse. The fuck?

It was a relief for everyone when this retard changed schools.


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## Kiwi Lime Pie (Mar 18, 2022)

Since I've posted about college and high school weird people, I may as well share a couple of weird ones from my K-8 years.

In the lower grades, the was a guy from the class ahead of mine whose name I don't even remember. Let's call him "Jeff." Jeff, for reasons unknown would call me Dexter any time he saw me even though it wasn't my name. Jeff would get mad when I'd ignore him and then get his friends to call me Dexter to see if and when I might respond to any of them, which I never did. 
===
In junior high we had a guy I'll call "Al" for this story. Al was probably the tallest 8th grader in the school and he had this weird obsession of throwing sports balls on the highest part of the school roof. I can't tell you how many Nerf footballs, basketballs, tennis balls, etc. he threw on the roof just for kicks. At one point, people would purposely avoid throwing balls to or near Al because odds were 50-50 that he would decide it was time to throw another ball up on the roof as soon as he had one in his possession.

What also made this and Al weird was the fact he was a member of the school's basketball team and refused to shoot the ball any time someone passed it to him despite being the tallest guy on the court with the ability to score at will if he wanted to. It made no sense given how eager he was to throw balls on the roof when we were outdoors.


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## Spunt (Mar 19, 2022)

To be honest I went to school with way more weird teachers than weird kids.

- Mr Hall the music teacher. Got 6 months in jail for a sizeable CP stash and for groping kids during "private" music lessons. I had about 20 private music lessons with him and he expressed no interest in me at all. Rejected by a paedophile - I don't know whether to be relieved or very slightly insulted.

- Mr Hammond the maths teacher. GodDAMN what a weirdo. In his 50s, so light-skinned and haired he might have been an albino, clearly a massive autist, probably very gay, came across as really creepy but as far as I know was never caught doing anything inappropriate. Had a soft-spoken yet adenoidal voice that if you wanted to do a stereotypical "paedo voice" would be the exact voice you would do. Even stranger was his dress sense. Mr Hammond only wore suits and only wore three colours - Brown, Orange and Pink, which he would mix and match at random. So he would turn up with brown shoes, pink socks, orange trousers, pink shirt, orange tie and brown suit jacket. It was like he wasn't just living in the 1970s, he *was* the 1970s. One day he turned up entirely in brown, and with his pale head the only non-brown area it looked like someone had gripped him by the skull and dipped him in some chocolate.

- Mr Karlsen, another maths teacher. Fat, annoying Scotsman straight out of teacher training college who thought he was young enough to be "down with the kids" with all the cringe that entails. Some of us were into metal music, so he decided he was into metal music too and knew way more than we did. So we would make up bands and ask his opinion of them, which he would provide with remarkable detail. Loser.

- Mr Woodman the physics teacher. Looked exactly like Dr Robotnik. Same barrel build, same bald head, same ridiculous ginger moustache. Had the loudest and most intimidating manner of any teacher I've ever known. You didn't fuck with Mr Woodman. You didn't even want to meet his gaze lest he start berating you. Relentlessly trolled the class, one kid got a reputation for asking stupid questions so he gave him 10 Post-It notes with "stupid question pass" written on them, and every time he asked a stupid question he had to hand one over and they had to last him the entire year or he would ignore him. Would often open the door to the Biology lab next door and yell that everyone in there was studying a "girly subject", interrupting the biology teacher's lesson to do so and slam it shut before anyone could react. Mr Woodman was fucking based. EDIT: Found out that the coof got him last year. RIP you mad bastard.

- Mr Khatan the French teacher. Even more based than Mr Woodman. Batshit insane French-Algerian Jew and the only Jewish teacher. He knew the other teachers (particularly the headmaster) were terrified of being seen as racist or anti-semitic but were also totally ignorant of Judaism. So he would wholesale make up Jewish holidays if he wanted time off and they didn't dare call him out on it. He freely admitted this too. If you didn't fancy doing any work in his classes (and let's face it none of us did) you could distract him by bringing up a subject he was passionate about. He liked French Existentialist philosophy (and he got me into philosophy and political theory as a result), theatre and gossiping about the other teachers, but what was guaranteed to get you at least 30 minutes without having to do any work was to mention golf. Mr Khatan HATED golf and would rant for entire lessons about how much he loathed every aspect of it and the kind of people who play it. He once threw a pen at someone who was dozing off at the back of the class, missed, and hit the fire alarm instead, causing the school to be evacuated. He also let us cheat at exams because, as he said "My job iz for you to pass ze exam. You want to learn French, you pay me and I give you private tuition. But here we pass ze exam. Here are ze answers, don't be too obvious about it, n'est-ce pas?." Absolute Chad.

- Mr Rolfe the Chemistry teacher. So incredibly boring that one time he left the classroom briefly to do some photocopying one of the kids moved the hands on the classroom clock forward 20 minutes so their purgatory would be over sooner. He only found out what happened when he berated the next class for being late. He got fed up with the other teachers stealing his mug in the staff room so he got one with his own photo on it. Mr Woodman told me he would drop biscuits in it while he wasn't looking.


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## ObviousMelon (Mar 19, 2022)

A guy named Stefan. Always wore a leather trenchcoat but it gets worse.
He 100% believed he was a vampire cause he's been to a docter who confirmed that his eyes "weren't human". He'd always just stand around and tried looking scary. His ultimate goal was to find "the one" and drink the blood of his vampire enemies from a goblet with her.
He told me that I'm not "the one" and I was very happy about that.

No idea what happened to him


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## BlaireWhitesBottom (Mar 19, 2022)

NOT Sword Fighter Super said:


> There was this kid that had a dream where all the hot girls tied him to his bed and took turns fucking him one by one, and then told them all about it(!!!)
> 
> He also wore vampire contacts to school from time to time and always smelled like stale cigarettes, but didn't smoke.




that kid was you dont lie lol


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Mar 19, 2022)

BlaireWhitesBottom said:


> that kid was you dont lie lol


Fuck no. Only a straight up retard would actually tell anybody that shit.


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## A Very Big Fish (Mar 19, 2022)

I didn't know this guy personally, but a dude from my high school about 2 years after I left  became a local celebrity (he was about 27 iirc), and was even on national tv briefly.

Then they found out he had molested a bunch of kids and had all sorts of illegal images on his pc.


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## Welsh Catgirl Enjoyer (Mar 20, 2022)

I'll be honest, I probably was one of those weird types. I lacked a lot of understanding about social dynamics back then. Nothing particularly bad though I did have one moment so embarrassing that I basically will never acknowledge it and even gaslight myself into thinking it isn't real. The weirdness has refined itself since then so it's more just something that keeps me from being boring, and I've become a lot better at introspection. I've also become a lot more willing to engage in confrontation if I deem it necessary.

I will say though that I remember one scouts trip where I got blamed for a rather embarrassing "accident" after a pair of shitty undies was found outside a tent I was sharing with 3 others. Why the guy didn't just immediately throw them away is beyond me. That guy was a massive douche anyway and had a kind of elitist streak because he was an outdoorsman.


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