# The person above you's avatar is your new room mate



## Tempest (Sep 27, 2018)

discuss what would happen, would there be any problems, would you not want them as your room mate etc...
(came across this, got the idea for this from there https://myanimelist.net/forum/?topicid=1204655&show=0)


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## Rand /pol/ (Sep 27, 2018)

Interesting


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## hotcheetospuffs (Sep 27, 2018)

I'm gonna turn your world upside down!


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## REGENDarySumanai (Sep 27, 2018)

The treadmill is right over there. Feel free to use it.


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## Sir Auroras (Sep 27, 2018)

Uff, I'm putting in for a new room.


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## IV 445 (Sep 27, 2018)

I’m okay with this


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## Tempest (Sep 27, 2018)

seems like they would troll people on the internet


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## keyboredsm4shthe2nd (Sep 27, 2018)

idk who she is but she's hot, so.


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## LazloChalos (Sep 27, 2018)

Soundproof every room, attempt to plant drugs on them for a quick eviction.


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## Ass eating cunt (Sep 27, 2018)

I feel like I would need to invest in some headphones and some break proof things


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## MetalParakeet (Sep 27, 2018)

Screw that. I want my own avatar as a roommate


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## Eryngium (Sep 27, 2018)




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## Tootsie Bear (Sep 27, 2018)

We meet again Mothman!


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## Audit (Sep 27, 2018)

All I'm envisioning is an overweight woman/man (gender police help!) trying to come on to me meanwhile her fat is spilling out of her spandex in massive rolls. I either need a restraining order or a handful of new fetishes asap.


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## Tempest (Sep 27, 2018)

I am imagining a lovecraftian monster living with me


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## Rand /pol/ (Sep 27, 2018)

Very interesting


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## skiddlez (Sep 27, 2018)

for the love of god, lose the pornstache

my avatar isn't much to go off of so here's some (drunk) artistic interpretations by @BOLDYSPICY!


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## Wallace (Sep 27, 2018)

Well, at least there'd be Skittles.


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## OhGoy (Sep 27, 2018)

having a painting in your home isn't much to complain about... so i'd be fine with it, i guess


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Sep 27, 2018)

Excuse me, but I think I was directed to the insane asylum instead of an apartment.


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## UE 558 (Sep 27, 2018)

Oh I'm sorry, the pig farm is on the EAST side of town


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## Ass eating cunt (Sep 27, 2018)

Oh fuck no I ain't sleeping in the same apartment with this demon


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## Draza (Sep 28, 2018)

Nice mask luchador.


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## spurger king (Sep 28, 2018)

Welcome to my humble abode. My bedroom is down the hall to the right, and you'll be staying in my subterranean rape pit.


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Sep 28, 2018)

Oh, daddy!


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## Monsieur Guillotine (Sep 28, 2018)

So my new roommate is blonde sub Oprah?


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Sep 28, 2018)

I think I'll get along with you.


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## Damocles_Sword (Sep 28, 2018)

Stephen Fry is always a win (ding)


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (Sep 28, 2018)

Damocles_Sword said:


> Stephen Fry is always a win (ding)


Dunno if I want a Sword of Damocles hanging around...but I'm sure we could make it work.


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## Ironic Impact (Sep 28, 2018)

Brooklynite Mario has always been a hero of mine...


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## Neet Tokusatsu (Sep 28, 2018)

Miyamoto probably cries all night thanks to all those Bowsette lewds


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## FemalePresident (Sep 28, 2018)

My roommate is a Nazi furry?!


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## Kiwi Jeff (Sep 28, 2018)

Might be hard living with the President and her security team, but I'd try to make it work


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## Rand /pol/ (Sep 28, 2018)

Definitely interesting


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## Cake Farts (Sep 28, 2018)

I’m gonna find a stash of CP under his bed aren’t I


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## Monsieur Guillotine (Sep 28, 2018)

I won't have to worry about you skipping out on rent with your job.


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## UE 558 (Sep 28, 2018)

Gtfo with that Sega bullshit, this is an Atari Jaguar household


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## Black Waltz (Sep 28, 2018)

idk, you'll probably give me a virus or something


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## Nekromantik (Sep 28, 2018)

Damn it. I don't want to get accursed of something and go to jail. Stay on your side of the apartment.


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## Judge Holden (Sep 28, 2018)

_Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet_


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## _Clam_ (Sep 28, 2018)

don't eat my soul okay?


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## Rumpled Foreskin (Sep 28, 2018)

Hope you’re ready for a rapin’.


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## OpenBASED (Sep 28, 2018)

I hope I have a big enough tank for you......


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## muh_moobs (Sep 28, 2018)

Toot-toot, all aboard the train to pound town!


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## Tramadol (Sep 28, 2018)

absolute size of that whale


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## hambeerlyingnreed (Sep 28, 2018)

First few minutes: Yaaaaay! :autism:

Then: Um...  Do you mind not slapping me in the face?


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## Overcast (Sep 28, 2018)

So now I have to live with a guy who'll nag at me over my health and a guy who smells like shit.

Yay...


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## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Sep 28, 2018)

Klonoa's a pretty dope series, I think we can work this out.


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## Sharingan (Sep 28, 2018)

Got a real DILF above me. I can definitely make this work.


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## Tempest (Sep 28, 2018)

would probably watch anime, am ok with that


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## Useless Mont-d'Or (Sep 28, 2018)

you look cool, so we're good


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## FierceBrosnan (Sep 28, 2018)

You'd only be the fourth most horrifying thing I've ever lived with so we're good. Hope you like bad jokes and pizza.


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## BeanBidan (Sep 28, 2018)

Nice to meet ya. I'm quiet but not school shooter quiet. You won't even know I'm there unless I'm playing vidya.


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## CWCchange (Sep 28, 2018)

Femdom jackpot.


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## spurger king (Sep 28, 2018)

Shut up jerry


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## CWCchange (Sep 28, 2018)

Sure, I'll have a beer, AND you...


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## Fresh froosh (Sep 28, 2018)

You're a pillow aren't you?


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## Nekromantik (Sep 28, 2018)

I don't care that you live in only a fish bowl and live off of flakes, you still need to pay half the rent and groceries.


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## FierceBrosnan (Sep 28, 2018)

Cleaning up whatever Silent Hill shit you left all over the walls is on you and no torturing the innocent after 11, gotta work early. And help yourself to the Oreos!


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## Lioness (Sep 28, 2018)

An adorable bird and a rad dude with his own mug? I win.


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## Teri-Teri (Sep 28, 2018)

We're cool am I right?


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## *extremely mom voice* (Sep 28, 2018)

Need me a freak like that


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## Penguino (Sep 29, 2018)

Fuck, lets see then


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## HIVidaBoheme (Sep 29, 2018)

Aw a penguin that's nice


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## aFairlyOddFaggot (Sep 29, 2018)

so, is the doll alive or what?


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## JohnDoe (Sep 29, 2018)

I don't stand for any of this creepy drama shit and those opera glasses had better not come out when I'm raw-dogging some preacher's son on the couch.


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## Teri-Teri (Sep 29, 2018)

You're cool!


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## aFairlyOddFaggot (Sep 29, 2018)

JohnDoe said:


> I don't stand for any of this creepy drama shit and those opera glasses had better not come out when I'm raw-dogging some preacher's son on the couch.


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## JohnDoe (Sep 29, 2018)

Alright bitch, we gonna hafta fight now. I hope you like getting pounded by a man wearing a leather jacket.


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## Stephanie Bustcakes (Sep 29, 2018)

Oh good, my new roommate is a delinquent AND a furry.


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## aFairlyOddFaggot (Sep 29, 2018)

JohnDoe said:


> Alright bitch, we gonna hafta fight now. I hope you like getting pounded by a man wearing a leather jacket.


what kinda pounding we talking about here?


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## JohnDoe (Sep 29, 2018)

Stephanie Bustcakes said:


> Oh good, my new roommate is a delinquent AND a furry.



Don't get any of your cunt-blood on my stuff or the shared spaces and you'll escape tasting the back of my paw. 

Don't bring your Johns back here either, we aren't zoned for commerce.



aFairlyOddFaggot said:


> what kinda pounding we talking about here?



I wouldn't fuck you with another man's dick.


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## Creep3r (Sep 29, 2018)

Roommate eh? On one hand, we have similar tastes... On the other hand, furry... I feel so torn...


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## JohnDoe (Sep 29, 2018)

GeneralFriendliness said:


> Roommate eh? On one hand, we have similar tastes... On the other hand, furry... I feel so torn...



We can bond over our mutual hatred of humans and cruel pranks on our neighbors!


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## Creep3r (Sep 29, 2018)

JohnDoe said:


> We can bond over our mutual hatred of humans and cruel pranks on our neighbors!


I'm sold! I'll start packing!


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## JohnDoe (Sep 29, 2018)

GeneralFriendliness said:


> I'm sold! I'll start packing!



Excellent! Soon the screams of terrorized apes will fill the streets!


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## Coldgrip (Sep 30, 2018)

I can't harvest ape souls...


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## Krokodil Overdose (Sep 30, 2018)

You don't have to worry, you won't be seeing me around much.


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

I would get you medical help for your skin problem


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## Doctor of Autism (Sep 30, 2018)

I won't know what to do.


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## ToroidalBoat (Sep 30, 2018)

A guy who cannot lie?


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## LofaSofa (Sep 30, 2018)

You have to share your boat.

And barrel cheese..


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## JambledUpWords (Sep 30, 2018)

I will sit on your face (sofa to be exact) for as long as possible. I’m 540 lbs so it’s going to be a lot of work for you, but not for me.


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## Trans-istor (Sep 30, 2018)

I'm hiding the freeze pops and the ranch. Anything that under these circumstances could be considered WMD source materials, since the constructive intent was there.


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

looks trustworthy enough


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## Rand /pol/ (Sep 30, 2018)

Extremely interesting


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## Audit (Sep 30, 2018)

You can room with me but your mustache forces me to keep the FBI's number on speed dial.


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## Trans-istor (Sep 30, 2018)

I'd keep good notes on how he functions. Especially when he doesn't have a mustache.


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## Gutpuke (Sep 30, 2018)

He looks like he knows how to make good food.


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

please don't leave a mess


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## Overcast (Sep 30, 2018)

Least I have a relatively normal looking roommate.


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## HY 140 (Sep 30, 2018)

i got my on you two, i dont trust furries


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## Trans-istor (Sep 30, 2018)

"When you're done scaring 11 year olds and being the object of 14 year old shippers, make sure you clean up after yourself."


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

don't make a mess


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## Teri-Teri (Sep 30, 2018)

As long as I could wear your hat we're fine.

Edit: Aww, I got ninja'd

You seem fine.


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

seems nice


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## You Can't Sit With Us (Sep 30, 2018)

Could be worse


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## Teri-Teri (Sep 30, 2018)

You Can't Sit With Us said:


> Could be worse


Can I sit with you?


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Sep 30, 2018)

I think we could have many crying sessions on the kitchen floor. Do you also like chicken tenders?


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## I'm Just A Human Bean (Sep 30, 2018)

At least I won't have to wear headphones to sleep.


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## Trans-istor (Sep 30, 2018)

I can only assume I'd be given lectures on why private school is the way of the future, as if I didn't already know that.


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## You Can't Sit With Us (Sep 30, 2018)

ICameToplaY said:


> Can I sit with you?










no


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## 8777BB5 (Sep 30, 2018)

I hope you know I like to take group baths


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## Draza (Sep 30, 2018)

White as bleach.


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## Ass eating cunt (Sep 30, 2018)

Teach me how to football


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## Teri-Teri (Sep 30, 2018)

Hell yeah! @Ass eating cunt is always welcome to be my roommate!



You Can't Sit With Us said:


> no



Aw...


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## jewelry investor (Sep 30, 2018)

hey calm down pls. I don't know where your hair dryer is.


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## WW 635 (Sep 30, 2018)

I'm not getting in the bunker


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## Tempest (Sep 30, 2018)

no weird lighting


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Oct 1, 2018)

I'm not sure I could live with another drama queen.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 1, 2018)

As long as we don't mix up our bondage equipment I think we can make do.


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## Get Fisted (Oct 1, 2018)

i am fine with this


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## jewelry investor (Oct 1, 2018)

Skelebros are the best roommates


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## Milk Mage (Oct 1, 2018)

Держите руки подальше от моего ликера, и мы отлично ладим


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## Professional iPad Hoarder (Oct 1, 2018)

хорошо товарищ


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## Tempest (Oct 1, 2018)

I don't know what they look like


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## Kiwi Jeff (Oct 1, 2018)

What could possibly go wrong?


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## sadstuck (Oct 1, 2018)

person below, you need this in your life


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## Tempest (Oct 1, 2018)

I'm moving out


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## stupidpieceofshit (Oct 1, 2018)

Please don't kill me...or go in to the abyss.


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## A Useless Fish (Oct 1, 2018)

What a coincidence! My favourite drug is horse!


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## JohnDoe (Oct 1, 2018)

You can always find a use for fish


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## A Useless Fish (Oct 1, 2018)

JohnDoe said:


> You can always find a use for fish



But sadly, not _one_ for a furry.


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## stupidpieceofshit (Oct 1, 2018)

Hello Dinner.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 1, 2018)

I'll pass on the pussy, but leave the horsemeat.


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## Neet Tokusatsu (Oct 1, 2018)

Can i wear your jacket? just for a moment?


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## cypocraphy (Oct 1, 2018)

Nice juggs. Is that one of those fucking ponies though?


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## FierceBrosnan (Oct 1, 2018)

We might need to find a new spot for your giant glowing flower thing. It's keeping the birds up at night and I think it's been stealing from the change jar.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 1, 2018)

Keep the birds quiet and I'll carve up your pumpkins for you.


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## Monsieur Guillotine (Oct 1, 2018)

"Be Prepared" is a good song and all, but don't be playing that shit on loop.


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## HIVidaBoheme (Oct 1, 2018)

Well the first roomie activity we're doing is dying our hair crazy colors.


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## James Howlett (Oct 1, 2018)

HIVidaBoheme said:


> Well the first roomie activity we're doing is dying our hair crazy colors.


And this...is where the magic happens *locks the door"


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## JohnDoe (Oct 1, 2018)

I like doggos, so I think this will work well. You can help me STAB humans.


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## gachacunt (Oct 1, 2018)

Hyenas are one of my favorite animals, actually! He seems like the kind of guy that'd prefer to be left alone, so i'll give him space as long as he does the same for me.


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## wateryketchup (Oct 1, 2018)

I've always wanted a kawaii anime gf!


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## whatever I feel like (Oct 1, 2018)

Acceptable. Whoever gets Lou is a lucky fellow.


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## Hakurei Zero (Oct 1, 2018)

Guitar is a pretty bitchin' instrument.


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## Goofy Logic (Oct 1, 2018)

I'd be worried about the Touhou turning me into a frog.


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## stupidpieceofshit (Oct 1, 2018)

Descent niiiccceeeee


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## Hardinthepaint (Oct 1, 2018)

Bojack r34 is haram


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Oct 1, 2018)

Ok but we have to split everything three ways.

Edit: Jacked!

Your complexion matches mine so obvs we are twinsies!


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## Milk Mage (Oct 2, 2018)

My peepee hard


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## BillyGoat2 (Oct 2, 2018)

I will take you to every local soccer game.


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## Fibonacci (Oct 2, 2018)

Let me preface this by saying I like the idea of fucking goats, but we'll have to keep this strictly platonic. I already have a soulmate and his name is GodBear. Also please don't turn the living room into an endless maze.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 2, 2018)

We're the perfect match, you have a face that needs cutting and I have a knife.


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## Tetra (Oct 2, 2018)

oh no


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## RomanesEuntDomus (Oct 2, 2018)

Would watch movies with to calm her down.
Then chain her to a pipe and force her to watch Funky Forest


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## KiwiKritter (Oct 5, 2018)

We can play pokemon I guess


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## JohnDoe (Oct 5, 2018)

Your johns aren't allowed to dig in the fridge.


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## BeanBidan (Oct 5, 2018)

Please dont scare me.


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## Tempest (Oct 5, 2018)

don't haunt me


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## JohnDoe (Oct 5, 2018)

Don't hog all the shampoo or I will CONDITION WITH YOUR BLOOD.


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## Beanie (Oct 5, 2018)

If it's a fight you want, you're gonna get it.


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## Nekromantik (Oct 5, 2018)

Just don't leave your katanas in the living room and we'll be fine.


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## Mapo Tofu (Oct 5, 2018)

Eat me bitch


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## JohnDoe (Oct 5, 2018)

Get in my muzzle you delicious vegan bait!


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## muggyman (Oct 5, 2018)

watch that knife bud


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## adorable bitch (Oct 5, 2018)

It matters not to me whether you are a mug man or a cat. The prospect of having you as my roommate is fantastic.


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## Tempest (Oct 5, 2018)

seem nice


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Oct 5, 2018)

Is it ok if I braid your hair?


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## Battlecruiser3000ad (Oct 6, 2018)

Hey baby, I will fix your computer from many errors if you reveal your milky boobs


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## KiwiKritter (Oct 8, 2018)

I can make you lasagna if you want


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## Zarkov (Oct 8, 2018)

Look, we're going to be best friends. Except if you keep wearing that pink bow tie. Then it's war.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 8, 2018)

Anyone can get along with you, you infinitely classy gentleman.


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## c-no (Oct 8, 2018)

Furry or not, are you gonna load my pumpkin hole?


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## Raging Capybara (Oct 8, 2018)

Can I fuck the pumpkin asshole? I'm fine with this, free sex is always good.


May God have mercy of the bastard below me.


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## ️ronic (Oct 8, 2018)

Good thing my basement locks from the outside.


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## Pikapool (Oct 8, 2018)

Hey at least I don't have got to worry about my food disappearing


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## hambeerlyingnreed (Oct 8, 2018)

Heh; think again...


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## Brock Hard Onix (Oct 8, 2018)

fucking hell i just drew you in the ms paint avatar thread


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## ️ronic (Oct 8, 2018)

A grown skeleton and a young boy living together under one roof... I might as well turn myself in now.


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## opy702 (Oct 8, 2018)

So do you take a bath, or do you use a toothbrush to get the job done?


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## Burgers in the ass (Oct 8, 2018)

dont eat me while i'm sleeping


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## c-no (Oct 8, 2018)

Please let them big eyes gaze at my gaping pumpkin hole, roomie.


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## Tempest (Oct 9, 2018)

I hope not


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## 0 2 (Oct 9, 2018)

Clean my screen, please. I don't have arms.


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## Tempest (Oct 9, 2018)

hi hal


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## The Captain (Oct 9, 2018)

There's only one bedroom.

Fancy some wine?


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## Applejack (Oct 9, 2018)

The Captain said:


> There's only one bedroom.
> 
> Fancy some wine?


Ill take whiskey, anything cheap really. Cigarettes are an essential, condoms are not 

Also I ate the last of the bagel bites, hope that's alright.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 9, 2018)

We agree on whiskey, cigarettes and condoms.

This will work out fine.


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## Brock Hard Onix (Oct 9, 2018)

i'm scared


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## Reynard (Oct 9, 2018)

He used harden, so I had to call Child Protective Services.


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## Tempest (Oct 9, 2018)

take off the hat


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## 0 2 (Oct 10, 2018)

Stop calling me HAL.


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## Nekromantik (Oct 10, 2018)

Look, I know that Daisy is your favorite song, but please stop singing it in the shower while I'm still asleep.


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## Nobunaga (Oct 10, 2018)

Turn the god damn lights off


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Oct 10, 2018)

I mean I'll take the guy but I don't know if I want that grey thing.


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## Draza (Oct 10, 2018)

Demon be gone.


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## RG 448 (Oct 10, 2018)

I’m fine with listening to the accordion.


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## ️ronic (Oct 10, 2018)

I'll let the flute in, but the green creature needs to stay in the dog house.


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## Slowbro (Oct 10, 2018)

I'm totally down to live with a dancing skeleton.


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## Tempest (Oct 10, 2018)

I wanted slowking


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## JohnDoe (Oct 10, 2018)

What are you, trans? I'll save you the trouble of suiciding, I've a knife right here.


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## FemalePresident (Oct 10, 2018)

Wow, put that knife down. I should hide my wallet somewhere.


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## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Oct 10, 2018)

Hey! I'm the first female president!


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## CWCchange (Oct 10, 2018)

Cool James Brown wig.


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## firestoopscience (Oct 11, 2018)

As long as she doesn't spend her day chasing over some harem protag, I'm cool.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Oct 11, 2018)

I'd like to be roommates with you so we can share outfits.


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## FierceBrosnan (Oct 11, 2018)

Fuck yes British comedy all day every day!


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## Goofy Logic (Oct 11, 2018)

You have been drinking that coffee for years now.  Shouldn't you take a break?


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## FierceBrosnan (Oct 11, 2018)

I'll break when I'm dead...er! I dunno if we'll be able to get your ship in the garage and what the zoning for low poly spacecraft is around here, but I'll definitely help you work on it on the weekends! Love the classics.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Oct 11, 2018)

I'm rooming with you so I can get your bird.


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## NARPASSWORD (Oct 11, 2018)

Noice.


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## I'm Just A Human Bean (Oct 11, 2018)

Now I can really get in the spirit of the season!


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## Tempest (Oct 11, 2018)

scares me


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## Red Hood (Oct 11, 2018)

My roommates don't have to have a soul. This works.


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## Coldgrip (Oct 11, 2018)

I appreciate the black curtains and cemetery decor, but don't you think the skull coffee mugs are a bit tacky?


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## Tempest (Oct 11, 2018)

keep the horse outside


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## Drinkerbelle (Oct 11, 2018)

Great, a ginger skeleton. At least I'll have a nice Halloween decoration.


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## firestoopscience (Oct 11, 2018)

Don't put any soy or viscera on my coffee, please.


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## Dolphin Lundgren (Oct 12, 2018)

Almost looks like Reaver from Fable 2/3. I'll take you.


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## Tempest (Oct 12, 2018)

least my roommate is famous


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## 0 2 (Oct 24, 2018)

At least you have arms to clean those hard-to-reach cooling vents.


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## Konover (Oct 24, 2018)

_01 said:


> At least you have arms to clean those hard-to-reach cooling vents.


machines are based, i'd love it.


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## Teri-Teri (Oct 24, 2018)

We're cool.


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## Tempest (Oct 24, 2018)

seems nice


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## HY 140 (Oct 24, 2018)

just dont fuck anything up, also ya gotta watch Supercar with me if you really wanna be my room mate


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## Ass eating cunt (Oct 24, 2018)

When that robot thing takes over the world make sure I survive and live like royalty, please


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## 8777BB5 (Oct 24, 2018)

You'll be fun to play with


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## Oglooger (Oct 24, 2018)

expect me to force you to get into gothic lolita fashion


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## Teri-Teri (Oct 25, 2018)

You look cool to me!


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## Duncan Hills Coffee (Oct 25, 2018)

Not unless you're of legal age. I don't wanna go to prison.


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## Corbin Dallas Multipass (Oct 25, 2018)

You can live with me, but I'm not walking all the way to the gates of Amn.


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## SiccDicc (Oct 25, 2018)

I don't think they'd be very civil... at least the rent should be paid.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 25, 2018)

I just don't want to deal with any fowl odors.


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## Pocoyo (Oct 26, 2018)

Someone's going to get cut and be laughing hysterically about it.


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## Konover (Oct 27, 2018)

Pocoyo said:


> Someone's going to get cut and be laughing hysterically about it.


Not really privy to housing Nezperdian Hiveminds, sorry.


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## HeraldofNurgle (Oct 27, 2018)

I think we'd get along providing that you let my Grandpa come over once in a while. He makes really good stew!


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## MeatRokket08 (Oct 27, 2018)

I don't wash my underwear fyi


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## JohnDoe (Oct 27, 2018)

You can't turn the living room into an airport lounge.


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## User names must be unique (Oct 27, 2018)

A knife wielding furry? One of us is going to wind up in several different trash cans.


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## Tempest (Oct 27, 2018)

I hope that's a mask


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## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Oct 27, 2018)

We should go clubbing first.


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## Guli (Oct 27, 2018)

Not old enough to prey on their daddy issues, would end up just co-exisitng


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## Gorgar (Oct 27, 2018)

Can you make me a sandwich?


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## scrambled_egg (Oct 27, 2018)

Looks like you'd do a great job at guarding our home against intruders.


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## BeanBidan (Oct 27, 2018)

Hey bro, you get the entire room as you can see, I'm a big spooky boi. We can shake hands but yo watch the bone-ads


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## Hellbound Hellhound (Oct 27, 2018)

At least I wouldn't have to worry about any food being stolen from my section of the fridge. On the other hand, anorexics can be very neurotic.


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## JohnDoe (Oct 27, 2018)

This could work well, we both already hunt and kill in packs.


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## Tempest (Oct 27, 2018)

nervous around the knife


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## HY 140 (Oct 27, 2018)

no trannies allowed sorry


----------



## JohnDoe (Oct 27, 2018)

Don't worry, when you're around my knife nobody stays nervous for long.


----------



## Trasha Pay That A$$ (Oct 27, 2018)

I feel like I'm in a scene from Psycho


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Oct 27, 2018)

Finally get bobs and vagene!


----------



## YourMommasBackstory (Oct 28, 2018)

finally i won't starve


----------



## Princess Bowsette (Oct 28, 2018)

finally a real man


----------



## CreamyHerman’s (Oct 28, 2018)

Finally a way to change my sex without being called a tranny


----------



## Guts Gets Some (Nov 18, 2018)

I'd ask them every single minute of every hour "What the hell am I even looking at?" And it'd be the best running joke on the sitcom.


----------



## Agent Wet (Nov 18, 2018)

I can't believe I have guts as my roommate this is great .


----------



## SweetDee (Nov 18, 2018)

I'd kick you out because I'm territorial, I like things a certain way, and I like being alone.  Nothing personal.


----------



## Rokko (Nov 18, 2018)

Sure why not. I see you like drinking! Me too!


----------



## Exceptionally Exceptional (Nov 18, 2018)

I have no idea who you are, but go in my room and touch my stuff and I'll bend your fingers back to the wrist!
Also, dinner is at 6, hope you like curry. Lots and lots of curry. Asshole ruining levels of curry!


----------



## Monsieur Guillotine (Nov 18, 2018)

On movie night, I get to sit in front of you, or else I'll never get to see the goddamn thing.


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Nov 18, 2018)

He looks like a anime boy Trump, I'd probably be stuck in a wacky adventure if I was roommates with him, so when do I pack my stuff!


----------



## Azafran90 (Nov 18, 2018)

Sir, I demand you stop looking at me like that this exact instant... SIR...


----------



## J A N D E K (Nov 18, 2018)

Constantly leaves toilet seat down making it harder for me to drink from the bowl.


----------



## HIVidaBoheme (Nov 18, 2018)

A cute pet yay!


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Nov 18, 2018)

Gotta have blue hair


----------



## Tempest (Nov 18, 2018)

sentient food sounds like a sitcom waiting to happen


----------



## SweetDee (Nov 18, 2018)

I might be able to tolerate you.  You seem like the type to mind your business and leave people be.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Nov 18, 2018)

As long as you don't spend all your rent money on booze.


----------



## Hellbound Hellhound (Nov 18, 2018)

Cool. I've always liked Stephen Fry.


----------



## Teri-Teri (Nov 18, 2018)

Yay! A pet wolf!


----------



## Tempest (Nov 18, 2018)

seems nice


----------



## Durable Mike Malloy (Nov 18, 2018)

"I mean, yeah, he _seemed_ normal, his references were all legit, but then he's just been in there measuring everything for _hours_ now. And I asked if he was measuring for furniture, if he needed any help getting set up - you know, just being friendly - and he said no thanks, he has everything he needs here already. But all he has is the clothes on his back, which don't even fit him right, and this giant fucking ruler? Super fucking weird. I don't know, man. Let's just hope he's quiet and pays rent on time and isn't, like, a serial killer or something."


----------



## toilet_rainbow (Nov 18, 2018)

Fine and dandy.


----------



## Guts Gets Some (Nov 18, 2018)

I am so confused, in so many ways, and I'm okay with that....


----------



## PorcupineTree (Nov 18, 2018)

No fuck buddies over more than twice a week.


----------



## Rabidcolombian (Nov 18, 2018)

No. No. 

NO.


----------



## Replicant Sasquatch (Nov 18, 2018)

Cap seems like he'd make a decent roommate.


----------



## Tempest (Nov 18, 2018)

don't trash the place


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Nov 18, 2018)

No dogs, Irish or Brummies allowed here.


----------



## Cinderblock (Nov 18, 2018)

You are helping with the dishes whether you like it or not.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Nov 18, 2018)

He could prop the door open when it's hot.


----------



## Fougaro (Nov 18, 2018)

I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with my roommate being on America's Most Wanted.
>inb4 "I didn't do anything!"
I don't care!


----------



## Exceptionally Exceptional (Nov 19, 2018)

I'll pay your half of the rent if you tell me where to get one of those masks with the moving pictures on it.


----------



## Tragi-Chan (Nov 19, 2018)

With my shoulders and your jawline, we’ll make a great team.


----------



## Tempest (Nov 19, 2018)

please no smoking


----------



## RomanesEuntDomus (Nov 20, 2018)

Tempest said:


> please no smoking


Does the carpet match the drapes?
In your room, I mean, geez.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Nov 20, 2018)

I hope you're housebroken.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 17, 2019)

they can move in if hugh laurie comes along


----------



## Rand /pol/ (Jan 17, 2019)

Rape


----------



## Monsieur Guillotine (Jan 17, 2019)

I think our political views will align, cowboy.


----------



## Azafran90 (Jan 17, 2019)

Monsieur Guillotine said:


> I think our political views will align, cowboy.



hey, where did you get your face fixed like that? asking for a friend...


----------



## Teri-Teri (Jan 18, 2019)

I think we're cool.


----------



## Rand /pol/ (Jan 18, 2019)

I can't understand gookspeak so who knows


----------



## Kiwi Jeff (Jan 18, 2019)

We probably wouldn't talk very much


----------



## Tempest (Jan 18, 2019)

he's rich, that's nice


----------



## Rand /pol/ (Jan 18, 2019)

Rape


----------



## OhGoy (Jan 18, 2019)

die


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 18, 2019)

I don't know, you're too dirty for me.


----------



## BlueArmedDevil (Jan 18, 2019)

Touch my booze and I'll brexit your face.


----------



## Kuchipatchi (Jan 18, 2019)

I'll pour in all the fish food and see what happens.


----------



## MasterDisaster (Jan 18, 2019)

I don't know what it is, but imma gonna try and fuck it.


----------



## RomanesEuntDomus (Jan 18, 2019)

We'll be fine as long as there aren't any mosquitos around.


----------



## fashion (Jan 18, 2019)

I don’t like furries.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 18, 2019)

don't steal my shoes


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 18, 2019)

You're gonna have to wear a shirt.


----------



## SweetDee (Jan 18, 2019)

Stay on your side of the house and I'll stay on mine.  Don't touch my things.


----------



## UW 411 (Jan 18, 2019)

Oh hey chat sister!


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Jan 18, 2019)

I'm not Chinese, we good.


----------



## Slowbro (Jan 18, 2019)

I hate Luna, but I love kiwis... I think we'll be okay.


----------



## Teri-Teri (Jan 18, 2019)

We're gonna have some fun playing Pokemon together!


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Jan 18, 2019)

she seems pretty chill, would probably play vidya with her


----------



## Pepito The Cat (Jan 18, 2019)

Stop leaving your dirty thongs all over the place and for fucks sake, would it kill you to put a shirt on?? My mother is here!


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Jan 18, 2019)

I'm going to need to build a wall in the living room aren't I?


----------



## UW 411 (Jan 18, 2019)

Long life to the killers eh? I'm more of a kill or be killed kinda roomie but I'm sure we'll get along.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 18, 2019)

no smoking in the home


----------



## Gordon Cole (Jan 19, 2019)

Don't touch my shit.


----------



## 💗Freddie Freaker💗 (Jan 19, 2019)

im gonna sit on ur face


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 19, 2019)

I'm putting you up for adoption.


----------



## JohnDoe (Jan 19, 2019)

Thank god, a reasonable roomate.


----------



## Tardevoir (Jan 20, 2019)

Stay away from my cats or else.


----------



## The Flawless Gazelles (Jan 20, 2019)

what is this?


----------



## The Flawless Gazelles (Jan 20, 2019)

that will be hot


----------



## Cleric of Autism (Jan 20, 2019)

Don't know what you are, but I'm definitely aroused


----------



## JohnDoe (Jan 20, 2019)

I'm glad it wasn't just me.


----------



## Syaoran Li (Jan 20, 2019)

You can be a furry all you want, but close the door next time!


----------



## JohnDoe (Jan 20, 2019)

I will shred all over the fucking place and you can't stop me!


----------



## Pocoyo (Jan 20, 2019)

He's going to have to learn to pee and poop on the newspaper and not wherever he wants.


----------



## JohnDoe (Jan 20, 2019)

I know how to use the toilet, and, funds willing, a whore's mouth to dispose of my waste.

Speaking of, do you have a rate-sheet?


----------



## CorteXY (Jan 20, 2019)

Please try to remember - no more 15" rubber horse-cocks in the dishwasher.


----------



## Neet Tokusatsu (Jan 20, 2019)

Well, i don't mind bearded women


----------



## Scarboroughgirl (Jan 20, 2019)

your smile's a winner


----------



## Teri-Teri (Jan 23, 2019)

Let's meet up at Scarborough.


----------



## UnKillShredDur (Jan 23, 2019)

You better either be a "true and honest woman," or a Miz fan.


----------



## Kari Kamiya (Jan 23, 2019)

Mashed potatoes all night, erry night.


----------



## Emerald Queen (Jan 23, 2019)

Might use Psychic in sleep. Just dont hog the bathroom, we'll be fine


----------



## Pocoyo (Jan 23, 2019)

We're definitely going to be fighting for dominance.


----------



## korejapan 01 (Jan 23, 2019)

Seems like someone who's got their shit together at all times. We'd be good friends.


----------



## Syaoran Li (Jan 23, 2019)

I've never had a Japanese roommate before. Especially not an anime one.


----------



## Teri-Teri (Jan 23, 2019)

You seem to like Cardcaptor Sakura, so therefore I like you. c:


----------



## DrJonesHat (Jan 24, 2019)

Why do you insist on entering the apartment via the window? I checked, the door is perfectly serviceable.


----------



## Tamamo No Mae (Jan 24, 2019)

Shave and get a job so you can help pay the rent, bloody hell!


----------



## Tempest (Jan 24, 2019)

looks nice


----------



## Guts Gets Some (Jan 24, 2019)

What age are you? Would it be legal living together?


----------



## Bluey (Jan 25, 2019)

Do that shit in the other room,mate.


----------



## hambeerlyingnreed (Jan 25, 2019)

You better leave some room in the fridge for my food!


----------



## Tempest (Jan 25, 2019)

looks scratchy and artistic


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Jan 25, 2019)

Looks unkempt and homicidal.


----------



## JohnDoe (Jan 25, 2019)

I don't give one flying fuck about your shonen drama, the chore wheel cannot be denied!


----------



## Cool kitties club (Jan 25, 2019)

Wash your fursuit it reeks.


----------



## Overcast (Jan 25, 2019)

Please keep your fur from clogging the shower drain okay?


----------



## DrJonesHat (Jan 25, 2019)

What the hell is that pink blob that follows you everywhere? Is it a pet? Did you pay the pet deposit? And uh, how old are you? Are you old enough to rent an apartment?


----------



## SelmaHendersen (Jan 25, 2019)

Would you like a coffee, Mr. Jones?  I'm making it with my Keurig™ machine; it was very expensive.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Jan 25, 2019)

Expensive coffee tastes better. By the way, what's that thumping noise hear coming from your room?


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 26, 2019)

Can I have some of the treasure that you get?


----------



## Jerri's Kid (Jan 26, 2019)

Probably a clotheshound so I'd have to find extra closet space for all the fucking top hats and coats.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 26, 2019)

seems ok


----------



## DrJonesHat (Jan 26, 2019)

Terrifying in apparance, so I let them answer the door when it's salespeople or religious proselytizers. Generally they don't come back.


----------



## madethistocomment (Jan 26, 2019)

Harrison Ford seems like a cool roommate.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 26, 2019)

as long as the gun has a safety lock


----------



## Gutes Zeug (Jan 26, 2019)

Make sure you shower.


----------



## Coleslaw (Jan 27, 2019)

Don't get kea blood all over my carpet


----------



## Foltest (Jan 27, 2019)

Since you moved in, the gas price has shoot through the roof!


----------



## Wheezy Asthmatic (Jan 27, 2019)

Okay. No pointy things in the house though


----------



## Sigma (Jan 27, 2019)

I don't have room for a whole band to live with me.


----------



## Dovahshit (Jan 27, 2019)

atleast he is handsome


----------



## SweetDee (Jan 27, 2019)

We'd have to fight to the death as there can be only one true dovahkiin.  It's me, btw.


----------



## Tempest (Jan 27, 2019)

stop hiccupping


----------



## ️ronic (Jan 27, 2019)

At least I won't have to pay for an alarm system.


----------



## ATaxingWoman (Jan 27, 2019)

Stop mooning


----------



## Overcast (Jan 27, 2019)

Yay! Free Kool-Aid!

Make sure not to fall over okay? Don't feel like cleaning up right now.


----------



## BeanBidan (Jan 27, 2019)

Sup lil pink.  I'm heading to the store for some hair gel.  Stay Gucci


----------



## ️ronic (Jan 27, 2019)

Fine, but I'll need to see your emancipation papers first.


----------



## Red Hood (Jan 27, 2019)

You've got something in your eye friend


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (Jan 27, 2019)

How often do you *tip fedora*?


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Jan 27, 2019)

I'm going to evict the one on the left.


----------



## ️ronic (Jan 27, 2019)

You look like you know how to pick out fine booze.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Feb 1, 2019)

Who's this Jules Verne character who keeps launching things at you? I'm gonna call the cops next time. You wanna hide out in the back until we're sure he's gone?


----------



## Tempest (Feb 2, 2019)

shave


----------



## Doctor of Autism (Feb 2, 2019)

Possible date lmao


----------



## eldri (Feb 2, 2019)

I've always wanted to live with anime boipussi.


----------



## Coldgrip (Feb 2, 2019)

If you drink the last beer you gotta buy a new pack.


----------



## skellig58 (Feb 2, 2019)

No prob. What do you like best? Because, you can do better, my man!


----------



## Guts Gets Some (May 7, 2019)

Sure hope they'll make an even newer and betterer Terminator to kill you in the next film


----------



## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

Will you two please keep it down.  Trying to be drunk over here.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 7, 2019)

Stop garnishing my food dude. I don't like it.


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 7, 2019)

"Fantastic! Someone left this fedora behind."


----------



## MAPK phosphatase (May 7, 2019)

It's my lucky day.


----------



## Tempest (May 7, 2019)

I have a giant cell, cool


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 7, 2019)

Dead ghost girl totally fits the aesthetics around here, come on in.


----------



## maalikthefakemuzzie (May 7, 2019)

You better not raise your weapons, christian.


----------



## Black Waltz (May 7, 2019)

don't hurt me


----------



## Basil II (May 7, 2019)

miss me with that weebshit


----------



## Rumpled Foreskin (May 7, 2019)

May I please wear your hat?


----------



## Brain Power (May 7, 2019)

Don't kill me! Please!


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 7, 2019)

No. Just no.


----------



## Recoil (May 7, 2019)

This could work.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 7, 2019)

Thanks for letting me spy on the bikini babes through the periscope.


----------



## Basil II (May 7, 2019)

Fedoras aren't really in style anymore


Rumpled Foreskin said:


> May I please wear your hat?



Only if you can handle a bunch of exceptional nobles trying to poison you every other day.


----------



## Clockwork_PurBle (May 7, 2019)

Big think.


----------



## Hikikomori-Yume (May 7, 2019)

Your av reminds me of psychonauts so I guess we can play some platformers together instead of killing each other


----------



## Rumpled Foreskin (May 7, 2019)

Let us be friends, for bullying is left to scoundrels and dickless, virgin nerds.


----------



## MAPK phosphatase (May 7, 2019)

Dude put that away I don't want the ATF to shoot my dog.



Tempest said:


> I have a giant cell, cool


Not a cell, but an organic molecule that plays a part in regulating programmed cell death. It's an important distinction!


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 7, 2019)

I'm not sure how I feel about having the cause of death in living beings hanging out in my apartment.  Can you at least stop looking at me, rubbing your hands together and saying "your day will come" every time I walk by?


----------



## Kiwi Jeff (May 7, 2019)

We could probably play the Infernal Machine or something


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 7, 2019)

This... is my fetish.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 7, 2019)

I don't know, you seem kind of vain.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 7, 2019)

It was pretty slick of you to get the neighbor to pay the rent by demanding a tithe, but can you stop telling me I'm going to hell every time I bang a hooker? Thanks.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (May 7, 2019)

The 8 of Spades said:


> I don't know, you seem kind of vain.



I don't know.....  you seem kind of sketchy & obtuse.

Unless you have a soul to spare, or can provide sexual favors; then we can talk lease sharing.


----------



## Jmz_33 (May 7, 2019)

Hmm....


----------



## MAPK phosphatase (May 7, 2019)

Stop scratching up the sofa! I bought you a carpeted pole specifically for that!



DrJonesHat said:


> I'm not sure how I feel about having the cause of death in living beings hanging out in my apartment.  Can you at least stop looking at me, rubbing your hands together and saying "your day will come" every time I walk by?


If I'm not here you'll develop cancer and die anyway. I provide a valuable service, let my enjoy it.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (May 7, 2019)

DrJonesHat said:


> It was pretty slick of you to get the neighbor to pay the rent by demanding a tithe, but can you stop telling me I'm going to hell every time I bang a hooker? Thanks.



Your 'hood must suck; whores here will send you to heaven, and their churches don't demand tithe.


----------



## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

Hey when are you gonna be done with your bath, I kind of need to take the Browns to the Super B- jesus fine put the gun away dude I'll just go down to McDs and use theirs, god damn


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (May 7, 2019)

Okay, but I'm going to eat you.


----------



## Overcast (May 7, 2019)

You two both look very well off, so I have no idea why you feel the need to room with me.


----------



## SweetDee (May 9, 2019)

scorptatious said:


> You two both look very well off, so I have no idea why you feel the need to room with me.




Get out of my house or I'll poison you.


----------



## Detrogen (May 9, 2019)

We're setting some ground rules. First, your family isn't allowed in the apartment. Second, no celebrating Halloween.


----------



## SweetDee (May 9, 2019)

Detrogen said:


> We're setting some ground rules. First, your family isn't allowed in the apartment. Second, no celebrating Halloween.




Third:  get out of my house or I'll poison you.


----------



## Remove Goat (May 9, 2019)

I ain't sleeping naked with you.


----------



## PT 522 (May 9, 2019)

I'm not sleeping naked with you either.


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 9, 2019)

I am definitely in need of a pokemon! And it's a pikachu?!

I'm going to train you!


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 9, 2019)

Well though I do still think you're kind of vain, You're also not bad to look at. As long as you keep strange hours this might work.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (May 10, 2019)

MAPK phosphatase said:


> If I'm not here you'll develop cancer and die anyway. I provide a valuable service, let my enjoy it.



There's some regulation that needs done with the neighbors.

All of them.

Quiet-time is important here.


----------



## JM 590 (May 10, 2019)

Considering you bathe with your gun, I don't think I'll ever have to worry about an intruder. 

Just, please, at least run the air cleaner if you're gonna smoke in the house


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 10, 2019)

please please do not tickle my feet


----------



## Tempest (May 10, 2019)

no scratching post


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (May 10, 2019)

can you please NOT do your spooky ghost stuff whenever I bring someone over? you've already scared off two of my friends and now they refuse to even talk to me


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 10, 2019)

You keep giving me sleep paralysis in the middle of the night. I have things to do y'know!


----------



## Antipathy (May 10, 2019)

I have no idea whether that avatar is male or female.

Probably going to keep my distance to avoid potential traps.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 10, 2019)

I know you're a doctor, but do you have to keep referring to the women I bring over as "fine specimens"? It's creeping them out. Though you did build a time machine out of a VW Bug and some old potra-potties, so that's cool. Thanks for sending me back to last Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time.


----------



## JM 590 (May 10, 2019)

You should really clean up after yourself, you live in SCUMM.


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 10, 2019)

There is a reason I bought febreeze. Please use it as there's something strange coming from your bedroom.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 10, 2019)

I get the drapes were ugly, but what the hell happened to them? It looks like they got run through a paper shredder.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 11, 2019)

Please stop bringing all the stolen relics into the apartment, some strange tank top and shorts-wearing woman with a ponytail keeps trying to sneak in and steal those back.


----------



## Basil II (May 11, 2019)

who


----------



## Matthew216 (May 11, 2019)

Basil II will you get out of the DAMN BATHROOM!!


----------



## Scarlett Johansson (May 11, 2019)

We're living in a blank space baby


----------



## JM 590 (May 11, 2019)

"Fashion has changed"?  Yeah, that's no reason to leave your dirty clothes everywhere.  I bought this laundry hamper for a REAAAASONNNNNNNNNNN


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 11, 2019)

We're probably going to get along just fine!


----------



## nippleonbonerfart (May 12, 2019)

I'm allergic to avacado toast


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (May 12, 2019)

no anime allowed in this household


----------



## Tempest (May 12, 2019)

keep the guns locked up


----------



## Kiwi Jeff (May 12, 2019)

Don't spook any guests


----------



## Watcher (May 12, 2019)

would bang


----------



## Super Color Up (May 12, 2019)

_Shrugs._


----------



## Basil II (May 12, 2019)

don't hurt me, I'll give you armenia.


----------



## UE 558 (May 12, 2019)

At least you’re not muslim


----------



## Bad Headspace (May 12, 2019)

I am sure he won't touch anywhere it's no good.


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 12, 2019)

stop smoking your menthols in the house please


----------



## edibleBulimia (May 12, 2019)

It’d be weird sharing rooms with an illiterate neko.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 12, 2019)

Quit bitching about your boyfriend not marrying you.


----------



## Tempest (May 13, 2019)

please don't go through my stuff


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (May 13, 2019)

I'm going to use you to scare children on Halloween.


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (May 13, 2019)

So... your wife. Is she single?


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 13, 2019)

You look AWFULLY familiar...


----------



## Guts Gets Some (May 13, 2019)

I'd be into that (pun intended)


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (May 13, 2019)

Do you like doctors?


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 13, 2019)

I volunteer to be your guinea pig, but only if you ensure I never wake up.


----------



## Timaeus Testified (May 13, 2019)

1. Cheer up.
2. Stop keeping all the lights on at night.
3. Stop inviting your sister's ghost over.


----------



## Just A Butt (May 13, 2019)

Y-You're not going to kill me, are you?

And can you PLEASE keep the webs out of the shower?  They freak me out when they touch my face.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (May 13, 2019)

You're my new pet.


----------



## Tempest (May 13, 2019)

no surgery at home


----------



## Basil II (May 13, 2019)

Don't touch me or I'll get my Patriarch to do an exorcism on you.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 14, 2019)

When I said I'd give this a go, I didn't mean it was acceptable to announce a royal proclamation every time you want a bag of chips from the kitchen.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 14, 2019)

Ok, I know you're a crossed out heart (I think), but can you please stop dripping blood everywhere? It's going to be really hard to explain if the police come around


----------



## NOT Sword Fighter Super (May 14, 2019)

Bad roommate.
Prolly smells like a pond.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 14, 2019)

While the sword collection is a bit weird, you have to admit that his wife makes a shitload of spaghetti!


----------



## Delta Δ (May 14, 2019)

Not a scaley but it should be fun, no homo


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 14, 2019)

Ok, I know that your job isn't going too great, but that's no excuse to go and shoot up the place! I can see the plans you've made strewn across your bedroom.


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 14, 2019)

I like the soaking pool you built out back, and since you moved in, I haven't seen a single fly or mosquito. Whatever you're doing, keep it up!


----------



## RG 448 (May 14, 2019)

Don’t call my shit junk,


----------



## Van Darkholme (May 14, 2019)

I'd fuck Knoxville hard.


----------



## Rod Dangerous (May 14, 2019)

This is gonna get good.


----------



## UE 558 (May 14, 2019)

At least you aren’t black


----------



## Banjoman (May 14, 2019)

Oh God, it's the furry pile of autism.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (May 14, 2019)

Thanks for encouraging me every time I feel down, fish bro


----------



## 7/11 Indian (May 14, 2019)




----------



## King Tiger The Heavy (May 14, 2019)

Not half bad, considering.


----------



## Manah (May 15, 2019)

Can you stop taking up both spots in the parking lot? Thanks.


----------



## Tempest (May 15, 2019)

wear something other than white


----------



## J A N D E K (May 15, 2019)

Hey roomie, why so gloomy?


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 15, 2019)

I refuse to change your diapers under any circumstances.


----------



## Zeke Von Genbu (May 15, 2019)

What is with that look? You're freaking me out.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 15, 2019)

Tell me, would you like to be a part of a ghost summoning? Just let me get my knife ready.


----------



## Ido (May 15, 2019)

Wendy_Carter said:


> Tell me, would you like to be a part of a ghost summoning? Just let me get my knife ready.


Edgy goth roommate? Sounds fun.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 15, 2019)

If you're cool with extreme pessimism and morbidity, we're going to be just fine. Just don't blow out the electronics with any ill-timed shock attacks.


----------



## Midlife Sperglord (May 15, 2019)

I’ll hand your avatar a brew and a bong, it’ll be chill in no time.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 15, 2019)

I like skellys, and though I'm picky about my Metal music, I at least know you're not going to try to cheer me up unless it's with drugs.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 16, 2019)

Don't worry, I'm not going to try to cheer you up. You might want to be careful with metal music, Abigail does not like loud sounds.


----------



## Yuusha-sama (May 16, 2019)

Wendy_Carter said:


> Don't worry, I'm not going to try to cheer you up. You might want to be careful with metal music, Abigail does not like loud sounds.


We can play DTS together.
Just wear Kneesocks and we have no problems.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 16, 2019)

What the fuck is DTS, Yuusha? Also, what is it with you and Kneesocks?


----------



## mr.moon1488 (May 16, 2019)

You better have the new edition of battle toads


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 16, 2019)

I don't know what kind of animals those are on your shoulders, but they better not get shit all over the goddamned house.


----------



## Tempest (May 16, 2019)

no marshes inside the house


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 16, 2019)

Ok, I know it's your thing, but please come inside to go to sleep. You look so cramped when you go down into that well every night!


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 16, 2019)

Tempest said:


> no marshes inside the house



Dead girl waifu? Yes, please come in. Can I get you a drink?


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 16, 2019)

The 8 of Spades said:


> Dead girl waifu? Yes, please come in. Can I get you a drink?


Is this necrophilia or pedophilia? I can't tell.
...fuck it, it's both


----------



## Ronald Reagan (May 16, 2019)

Yellow, definitely yellow!


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 16, 2019)

Ronald Reagan? You're supposed to be dead!


----------



## Ronald Reagan (May 16, 2019)

And then there’s green, blue, indigo, aaand violet


----------



## Ronald Reagan (May 16, 2019)

FroggyBoi said:


> Ronald Reagan? You're supposed to be dead!



Who’s that?


----------



## Jazz Cat Blini (May 16, 2019)

Fuck


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 16, 2019)

Jazz Cat Blini said:


> Fuck




Awwwwww, Kitty!!!!!!!


----------



## Underestimated Nutria (May 17, 2019)

You look like you wouldn't be adverse to sequestration. That's important since I need my private time.


----------



## Glad I couldn't help (May 17, 2019)

Can't be any more annoying that beavers. Would request you keep it down at evening and night, please.


----------



## MeatRokket08 (May 17, 2019)

As long as you don't shoot me with that and wake up my dog at night we good fam


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 17, 2019)

Griffith did nothing wrong.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 17, 2019)

Rigor Meowtis said:


> Griffith did nothing wrong.



Totally, you should move in. I mean, it's going to involve you being strapped into a chair like Clockwork Orange until I can explain to you in the most humane possible methods (unless those don't work) why you're wrong about that.


----------



## edibleBulimia (May 17, 2019)

I don’t even know what that is, but it’ll be a fun experience overall.


----------



## Lucifer's Rectum (May 17, 2019)

Are you going to be staring at me with that look in your eyes the whole time?


----------



## Niggernerd (May 17, 2019)

Hey roomie wanna be a gangstar and have a dream?


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 17, 2019)

Cat girl gangstar? Count me in. 



The 8 of Spades said:


> Totally, you should move in. I mean, it's going to involve you being strapped into a chair like Clockwork Orange until I can explain to you in the most humane possible methods (unless those don't work) why you're wrong about that.


That sounds fun and all, but I’m afraid I have to decline.


----------



## Shiawase (May 17, 2019)

This could work. I'm not allergic to catgirls, and I'm cripplingly shy and socially inept so I won't try to pet you unless you ask me to.


----------



## FierceBrosnan (May 17, 2019)

I am pretty accustomed to living with manic texters so this will be an easy living situation.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 17, 2019)

You and your pet seem to wield powerful magic. I like magic, so maybe we could do something interesting going together. Not sure about the whole 'daddy' thing, though.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 17, 2019)

We'll fit fine, as I think we've agreed, but I think we're worshiping different beings so we might have to do some research about that. I'm not really trying to deal with any sort of cosmic power struggles.


----------



## AbyssStarer (May 17, 2019)

I just wanna post here and say: hope you have some drum sticks


----------



## Manah (May 18, 2019)

Please stop staring.


----------



## BroccoliBrain (May 18, 2019)

10/10 would motorboat that boat (it’s that anime boatshit right? I thought they were all moe girls but then I saw some more exotic designs)


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 18, 2019)

Look, as long as you're not wandering around at all hours saying "give me eyes broccoli" we'll be fine.


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 19, 2019)

Doth thou desire the power?
My fist is the divine breath! 
Blossom, o fallen seed, and draw upon thy hidden powers!! 
Grant unto thee the power of the glorious 'Mother of Destruction'!


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (May 19, 2019)

I'll do whatever you say, just don't hurt me.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 19, 2019)

Ok, here's the deal. I won't report you to the police if you don't kidnap any little girls to have "fun" with. Got it?


----------



## Judge Holden (May 19, 2019)

_fe̵e̸ee̢e̢e̡eáa̡aaa̢àaa̕st ̸o͘ń my ͏g̢ash̸ 

tḩe ́rot͞t̶i̶ng̕ ͘f͘les͘h t͠a̷st͟ȩs̵ ͟s̡̡o swéee͢ȩeeeet_


----------



## Vampirella (May 19, 2019)

I've seen worse things staring me down from the foot of my bed.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 19, 2019)

Quick question. Why are you wearing a gas mask? Do you have mustard bombs or some shit?

Should I be worried?


----------



## Fek (May 19, 2019)

GOD DAMNIT YOU LEFT THE SHOWER ON ALL DAY AGAIN! THE WHOLE PLACE IS A HOT WET MESS YOU FROG FUCK.

I want out of this lease.

Also wtf posting more than once


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 19, 2019)

Oh hey! A human meat shield! I can use you to defend myself from the mafia!
Also, what can I say? Posting on here's kinda fun!


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 19, 2019)

Yes, we will destroy god. That is our purpose... That is our destiny!


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 19, 2019)

I'm guessing you want Shinnok's amulet? I'll call up Raiden and see if he can get that for you!


----------



## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 19, 2019)

That amulet wasn't built for you to use!


----------



## MrTickles (May 20, 2019)

Sīn the Moon Daddy said:


> That amulet wasn't built for you to use!



Console peasant. Let's play some runescape.


----------



## Feathers and Stones (May 20, 2019)

not bad.


----------



## MrTickles (May 20, 2019)

Yeah I changed my mind let's play sucky dicky instead.


----------



## Sigma (May 20, 2019)

Pay for your half of the utilities, puppy.


----------



## Manah (May 20, 2019)

Somehow, you seem a lot less mature than you look.



BroccoliBrain said:


> 10/10 would motorboat that boat (it’s that anime boatshit right? I thought they were all moe girls but then I saw some more exotic designs)



Technically, a harbour.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 20, 2019)

There are some disgusting-looking people outside saying weird things like "you are my waifu" and "I have a dakimakura of you" and they're unsettling me. Please make them go away or we will have a problem.


----------



## Anonymous For This (May 20, 2019)

Stop fucking ODing on the couch.


----------



## World-ClassWrangler (May 20, 2019)

There's a bunch of guys outside with "kebab lives matter" signs and they don't look happy


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 20, 2019)

I...I guess? Just keep it down before noon or something I suppose.


----------



## Spunt (May 20, 2019)

This is not a church, it's a fucking houseshare, now stop preaching to the cats.


----------



## Irwin M. Felcher (May 20, 2019)

*You're* on bathroom cleaning duty, *always*. This is not negotiable.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (May 20, 2019)

Irwin M. Felcher said:


> *You're* on bathroom cleaning duty, *always*. This is not negotiable.



Not *my *bathroom.

Go use the two-hole out back for ya'lls degeneracy.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 20, 2019)

I swear to god, if you don't let me get in the bath I'm going to bank on the fact that the humidity has ruined your bullets and drown you. Then @Wendy_Carter can move in.


----------



## Fougaro (May 20, 2019)

I'll respect your decision to be a Christian fundamentalist and as long as you respect my decision to be a degenerate weeb, everything will be good and gucci between us.


----------



## JM 590 (May 20, 2019)

STOP
HOLDING
RAVES
IN
YOUR
BEDROOM
AT
4AM

FOR *FUCKS *SAKE


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 20, 2019)

Well Shit, in that case he can move in with me then.


----------



## World-ClassWrangler (May 20, 2019)

Raves might be a tad bit of a deallbreaker, on account of my crippling epilepsy and numerous chromosome deficiencies


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (May 20, 2019)

World-ClassWrangler said:


> Raves might be a tad bit of a deallbreaker, on account of my crippling epilepsy and numerous chromosome deficiencies



Oh shit, Kurt E.? Yeah no, you can't move in.


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (May 20, 2019)

Manah said:


> Somehow, you seem a lot less mature than you look.
> 
> 
> 
> Technically, a harbour.


Hey, can you explain yourself real quick? Why is there a bunch of horny weebs right outside my fucking window?
If you can, can you make them go away please? I'm trying to sleep!


----------



## PL 001 (May 20, 2019)

Just don't coat my bathtub with algae or leave your fly snacks laying all around and you can crash here.


----------



## Shiawase (May 21, 2019)

Being your room mate seems like a lease-length winter camping trip. I will bring a tent and sleeping bag so I won't freeze!


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (May 22, 2019)

She's so cute I feel guilty about my disgusting living habits.


----------



## Marco Fucko (May 22, 2019)

Two degenerates under the same roof. We can go on the hunt together.


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 22, 2019)

Just don't get too smug and we'll get along nicely.


----------



## Gorillagorillagorilla (May 22, 2019)

She looks like the kind of person who will keep me up at night by doing necromancing at 1 in the morning


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 23, 2019)

You will either hold me and pet my head, or murder me.


----------



## mr.moon1488 (May 23, 2019)

Litter box only.


----------



## Lunete (May 23, 2019)

I have a feeling I'm going to be saying "no you can't keep it," a lot.


----------



## Normal_Guy (May 23, 2019)

Lunete said:


> I have a feeling I'm going to be saying "no you can't keep it," a lot.


Im kina autistic when it comes to words


----------



## UntimelyDhelmise (May 23, 2019)

Well, at least I wouldn't have an electric bill.


----------



## JohnDoe (May 26, 2019)

You can keep your aquarium, just don't touch my propane.


----------



## Cool kitties club (May 26, 2019)

You better bring your own lint rollers


----------



## Kataomoi00 (May 26, 2019)

At least I don’t have to worry about mice


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 26, 2019)

Looking like that, you can do whatever you damn well please. Did I mention I'm single?


----------



## Ralph Barnhardt (May 26, 2019)

DrJonesHat said:


> Looking like that, you can do whatever you damn well please. Did I mention I'm single?


I would totes bunk with DrJonesHat. I mean it’s just a hat so it wouldn’t take up much space. When rent’s due I would put it on and go steal some Nazi gold or some ancient relic and sell that mother like nobody’s business.  The biggest selling point of living together:  Can you imagine the poon I’ll slay wearing DrJonesHat?!  Yeah it’ll be weird having to keep it on, lest the illusion breaks, but that’s her problem not mine.

“You know why I hate snakes gurl?
*uzips pants with a meaty thwack hitting my thighs*
“I’ve had to deal with this anaconda my whole life.  Now come over here and comfort me sweet thing else you get the Willie treatment”


----------



## Wendy Carter (May 26, 2019)

You look really weird and talk a lot. I don't think I'm really down with that.


----------



## JohnDoe (May 26, 2019)

Don't leave your tampons lying around, disgusting trollop.


----------



## Fortress Fortress (May 26, 2019)

You don't bring unsold hyenas home with you, right?


----------



## Normal_Guy (May 26, 2019)

I don't think you'll fit.....


----------



## Solo Wing Pixy (May 26, 2019)

That pride's going to get you killed kid... Just don't track any blood in and we should be fine.


----------



## Fish-Eyed Fool (May 26, 2019)

I’m not giving you the remote.


----------



## Just A Butt (May 26, 2019)

Tell your son to quit bitching all the time. And stop faking heart attacks, pls, it makes me nervous.


----------



## CivilianOfTheFandomWars (May 26, 2019)

I could hang with a kiwi with shades on his butt.


----------



## SweetDee (May 26, 2019)




----------



## Lunete (May 26, 2019)

She looks cute. I dig it.


----------



## tangerine pigtails (May 26, 2019)

If we can talk about classic anime all the time, let's do this.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (May 26, 2019)

grow some actual fucking hair or else I'm gonna haunt your ass
stop leaving empty beer bottles everywhere too


----------



## Rigor Meowtis (May 27, 2019)

Since we’re both dead it’ll be way easier to live together.


----------



## Anonymous For This (May 27, 2019)

Clean your Goddamn litterbox; it smells like cat piss in here.


----------



## Brain Power (May 27, 2019)

Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.


----------



## MrTickles (May 27, 2019)

Feed me premium kibble.


----------



## Queen Of The Harpies (May 27, 2019)

I would feed you, walk you and play with you every day!  But I wouldn't be happy about you shitting and pissing every where.


----------



## Fibonacci (May 27, 2019)

How will I pay the rent when Barb dies?


----------



## Just a boring name (Nov 3, 2019)

Please stop placing yourself on top of the toilet cistern waiting for me to come home drunk.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 3, 2019)

Am I roommates with a bunch of pots & pans now? Do I just get some new kitchen appliances for free? If so, sweet.


----------



## Just a boring name (Nov 3, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> Am I roommates with a bunch of pots & pans now? Do I just get some new kitchen appliances for free? If so, sweet.


Look under your seat.
There should be a free Non-Stick Tin Wok under there.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 3, 2019)

Just a boring name said:


> Look under your seat.
> There should be a free Non-Stick Tin Wok under there.


Nice try, I'm on my bed


----------



## Tempest (Nov 3, 2019)

please don't threaten me


----------



## Revo (Nov 3, 2019)

stay away from me,you freak.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Nov 3, 2019)

hey brah I know you're enjoying that sunset but you should really come mix it up with the rest of the party, shit's off the hook


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Nov 3, 2019)

Well at least I'm not the only one with a disturbing face now.


----------



## Alpacawitz (Nov 3, 2019)

I'm gonna leave waxing coupons around the apartment.


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Nov 3, 2019)

Mein Garten said:


> I'm gonna leave waxing coupons around the apartment.


I'm okay with this. Your new name is Mouschwits.


----------



## A Welsh Cake (Nov 3, 2019)

put your feet down asshole, get some fucking manners.


----------



## Glitched_Humanity (Nov 3, 2019)

it begins


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Nov 3, 2019)

Keep your weird BDSM shit in your own room.


----------



## Smaug's Smokey Hole (Nov 3, 2019)

DDBCAE CBAADCBE said:


> Keep your weird BDSM shit in your own room.



No feet on the dinner table.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Nov 3, 2019)

Ey man I got no problem with spicy food but I think I'll just eat my ramen and sriracha, no offense to your cooking or anything


----------



## Tempest (Nov 3, 2019)

please shave


----------



## MAPK phosphatase (Nov 3, 2019)

I have no idea who you are. Maybe that's for the best.


----------



## Rick Pratt (Nov 3, 2019)

Weird science, but weird science is interesting


----------



## Syaoran Li (Nov 3, 2019)

As long as you pay your share of the bills, we'll be fine.


----------



## Revo (Nov 3, 2019)

at least give me some tips in repairing a house.


----------



## Dolphin Lundgren (Nov 3, 2019)

But I don't want to live outdoors.


----------



## The Sauce Boss (Nov 3, 2019)

He looks pretty chill, all things considered. Might get wasted and read the Hammurabic code with him, idk.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Nov 3, 2019)

littlearmalite said:


> He looks pretty chill, all things considered. Might get wasted and read the Hammurabic code with him, idk.


Just don't be like JC and hack all my electronics, k?


----------



## DtoDab (Nov 3, 2019)

A room that looks like your average discord server fam


----------



## Alex Krycek (Nov 3, 2019)

Probably not a lot of noise at least.


----------



## Kotaro (Nov 3, 2019)

I'll probably get shot


----------



## Tempest (Nov 3, 2019)

seems fine


----------



## Syaoran Li (Nov 3, 2019)

Your mother can eat in the yard.


----------



## TFT-A9 (Nov 3, 2019)

...Want some whiskey?


----------



## DDBCAE CBAADCBE (Nov 3, 2019)

Sorry, I already had one roommate with autism. I told myself I'd never let that happen again. So I'm gonna have to put you down Fido.


----------



## Brain Power (Nov 3, 2019)

Sorry, I'm not into feet.


----------



## Slowpoke Sonic (Nov 3, 2019)

watches too much anime and hentai


----------



## DrJonesHat (Nov 5, 2019)

No football in the house!


----------



## Glitched_Humanity (Nov 5, 2019)

move your fucking statue! it's blocking the water heater.


----------



## Revo (Nov 5, 2019)

No cp art in my house.


----------



## Glitched_Humanity (Nov 5, 2019)

Stop stealing my weed and where's my ketamine?!


----------



## Ted_Breakfast (Nov 5, 2019)

ThrowawayMCL said:


> Stop stealing my weed and where's my ketamine?!



Oh, you're one of them big-eyed types. I heard about you guys on the TV.


----------



## Tempest (Nov 5, 2019)

please take a shower


----------



## ManateeHunter (Nov 13, 2019)

I'd get eaten


----------



## DtoDab (Nov 13, 2019)

I would eat that


----------



## Token Weeaboo (Nov 13, 2019)

It's hunting season.


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 15, 2019)

No thots allowed in this household. You can go live in the basement, I guess.


----------



## Nobunaga (Nov 15, 2019)

Dammit, stop trying to summon the apocalypse in our living room


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 15, 2019)

You mistook me for the other guy, he's the one obsessed with this satanic ragnarok shit
Also, can you at least have the fucking decency to not leave your girls' panties strewn all over the house? Put them in a collection in your drawer, like a decent human being would do.


----------



## LolRaccoon (Nov 15, 2019)

Yeah, could you keep the magma to a minimum? It's hot enough in here already.


----------



## c-no (Nov 15, 2019)

You aren't going to attract the furries are you? I don't want them or zoophiles loitering around my apartment complex.


----------



## Vince McMahon (Nov 15, 2019)

c-no said:


> You aren't going to attract the furries are you? I don't want them or zoophiles loitering around my apartment complex.



You mean you don't want to be buggered?


----------



## Revo (Nov 15, 2019)

Can you stop tipping your fedora ?


----------



## Spooky Bones (Nov 15, 2019)

armed bdsm furries
actually more like beastmen with heavy slaaneshi flavor
the taint of chaos is strong
I nope out at the first opportunity


----------



## Vince McMahon (Nov 15, 2019)

Spooky Bones said:


> armed bdsm furries
> so more like beastmen with heavy slaaneshi flavor
> the taint of chaos is strong
> I nope out at the first opportunity



Can you ask Mr. Bones to stop his wild ride, since you know him personally?


----------



## DrJonesHat (Nov 15, 2019)

Stop wearing my hat. Get your own.


----------



## ManateeHunter (Nov 15, 2019)

Stop trying to be like Simon Belmont by whipping me out of my wall!


----------



## Bitch Kitten (Nov 15, 2019)

Into the oven with you


----------



## Thinfont (Nov 15, 2019)

Kittens. Good to go. Just stop fighting.


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Nov 17, 2019)

Oh look, a robot. I guess that means I won't get eaten?


----------



## Bitch Kitten (Nov 17, 2019)

Delicious meats, you will be eaten


----------



## Brain Power (Nov 17, 2019)

Sure, animals are always welcome here


----------



## Revo (Nov 17, 2019)

And Disco elysium fans are welcome in my club .


----------



## Pissmaster (Nov 17, 2019)

*HOLY SHIT

COULD*
_
*YOU 

KEEP

IT*
_
*DOWN

I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN FOUR DAYS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU*


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 21, 2019)

_*MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TICKLING OTHER PEOPLE'S FEET IN THEIR SLEEP BEFORE COMPLAINING ABOUT LACK OF SLEEP, FUCKASS*_


----------



## TerribleIdeas™ (Nov 21, 2019)

Absolute Brainlet said:


> _*MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TICKLING OTHER PEOPLE'S FEET IN THEIR SLEEP BEFORE COMPLAINING ABOUT LACK OF SLEEP, FUCKASS*_



Keep it down, I'm trying to watch bondage porn in here.


----------



## Meat Poultry Veg (Nov 21, 2019)

*sits in corner waiting to get eaten while roommate masturbates furiously to pictures of Officer Jenny*


----------



## ManateeHunter (Nov 21, 2019)

A roasted chicken AND a roasted turkey? Truly a feast fit for a king!


----------



## TV's Adam West (Nov 21, 2019)

Ah yes, food. I gladly accept.


----------



## Cedric_Eff (Nov 21, 2019)

Ryotaro Dojima said:


> Ah yes, food. I gladly accept.


10/10 will steal neckties.


----------



## Aria (Nov 21, 2019)

Cedric_Eff said:


> 10/10 will steal neckties.


Get out now!


----------



## A Welsh Cake (Nov 21, 2019)

>Brown person 
Minority detected Minority detected
Activating Reichrowave.


----------



## nekrataal (Nov 21, 2019)

Gonna wind up getting evicted for harassing women and minorities.


----------



## Revo (Nov 21, 2019)

I am glad that you have enjoied my ride.


----------



## Scooter Braun (Nov 21, 2019)

Oh hey man, wanna hang out? I just bought a couple albums.


----------



## hambeerlyingnreed (Nov 21, 2019)

Hey there sexy boy, I'm gonna rock and roll your world, teehee *fart* shhhhhhh


----------



## Absolute Brainlet (Nov 21, 2019)

Yeah, you're gonna have to lose at least a 100 lbs before you're even allowed to step foot in my house. Otherwise, I fear the floor might break under your weight.


----------



## From The Uncanny Valley (Nov 23, 2019)

Lock him in the closet


----------



## Imposter (Nov 23, 2019)

Hide yo rubles, hide yo copecks


----------



## Cantercoin (Nov 23, 2019)

You better not try to steal my social security


----------



## DrJonesHat (Nov 24, 2019)

Can you put a catchfilter in the shower? Your hair keeps clogging the drain.


----------



## Semper Fidelis (Nov 24, 2019)

(assuming that's Indiana Jones, it's a small pic)

Where the fuck is your half of the rent, mr. Jones?
Also, why are you looking through my junk in my sex dungeon?


----------



## Crankenstein (Aug 19, 2020)

Oh man, this gon' be gewd!


----------



## Wraith (Aug 19, 2020)

... I scratch myself a lot while I summon the legions of violence. ... We order pizza a lot. You like jalapenos?


----------



## Niggaplease (Aug 19, 2020)

if your going to kill yourself blow your brains out in the bath tub or in the yard and dont make a mess.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Aug 19, 2020)

We're gonna have lots of wild parties.


----------



## Niggaplease (Aug 19, 2020)

my liquor cabinet I am open to sharing, but don't drink my grey goose. Also you'll be sharing a room with my cat. make sure she gets cuddles, and if she brings you a "present" than wait till she walks away and act happy. cats get depressed ya know! also she snores.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Aug 19, 2020)

Don't open the crate in the basement. Just don't.


----------



## Niggaplease (Aug 19, 2020)

your rent can be paid in Newport cigarettes and beer also ebt if you have it.


----------



## OvercookedBacon (Aug 19, 2020)

Eh, just keep the music down and we'll be alright.


----------



## Brain Power (Aug 19, 2020)

Uh... If it's not too charred, I think I can take it...


----------



## FluffyTehFennekin (Aug 19, 2020)

I hope you’re alright


----------



## Doctor Ivo Robotnik Sr. (Aug 19, 2020)

I'm pretty sure I could bully this guy for whatever I'd want


----------



## CockPockets (Aug 19, 2020)

Finally a worthy sidekick


----------



## Ciscoipphone (Aug 19, 2020)

Seems like an alcoholic. As long as they share their stash we're all good


----------



## Spamton (Aug 19, 2020)

edit: Assuming you are a plush doll, i'd probably give you hugs


----------



## Prophetic Spirit (Aug 19, 2020)

Please, bathe often.


----------



## Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth (Aug 19, 2020)

Disembodied heads unite!


----------



## Μusk (Aug 19, 2020)

Woof


----------



## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 19, 2020)

Hey! Punished Null. Look, whatever you do, don't blast your rocket arm in the house. I'm worried about it breaking a window.


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## The Last Stand (Aug 19, 2020)

I hope you can dance.


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## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 20, 2020)

Pay me $1000 dollars per second and it's a deal. I do a mean Fortnite Default Dance


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## Absolute Brainlet (Aug 20, 2020)

I'm sorry, I don't allow French people to enter my house. You can sleep in the basement, though


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## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 20, 2020)

I'm sorry, I don't allow Hazbin Hotel OCs to enter my house. You can sleep in the basement, though


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## Feline Supremacist (Aug 20, 2020)

Can I torture and eat it?


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## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 20, 2020)

Oh hey! A stray cat! I'll get the milk.


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## opy702 (Aug 20, 2020)

If you so even glance at my fly collection, I swear to Christ I’ll go mental!


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## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 20, 2020)

I am never making spaghetti around you as long as we are roommates. I know what kinda shit you do to that stuff.


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## Coffee Druid (Aug 20, 2020)

You look like you know some good workout routines. Maybe you can help me get back into shape.


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## Absolute Brainlet (Aug 20, 2020)

Talking shit at BoxerShorts gave me a taste for debating, so I guess we can argue which is better: coffee or tea


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## The Real SVP (Aug 20, 2020)

Listen, the south belongs to me. You want to stay friends and in the business, you stay north of the city. Or, you cross the river. I'll support you either way. Just stay out of my territory.


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## Count K. Rumulon (Aug 20, 2020)

How much do you like headpats and what do I do when you're in heat?


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## Alpacawitz (Aug 20, 2020)

If I eat your arm, will it grow back?


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## Officer Eradicate (Aug 20, 2020)

you sleep on the couch


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## Niggaplease (Aug 20, 2020)

no gay cowboy shit unless it's ram ranch


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## Absolute Brainlet (Aug 20, 2020)

no gay rapper shit unless it's cummo edits (I think that's what those are called?)


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## The Real SVP (Aug 20, 2020)

FroggyMan said:


> How much do you like headpats and what do I do when you're in heat?


Yiff, yiff yiff!


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## Prophetic Spirit (Aug 20, 2020)

Ok, you gonna sleep in my backyard tonight.


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## Officer Eradicate (Aug 20, 2020)

here's your $10
use wisely


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## Tempest (Aug 20, 2020)

no plotting against sportacus


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## Absolute Brainlet (Aug 20, 2020)

you look scary. might use you as a scarecrow


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## Hepativore (Nov 2, 2021)

I could inlay you like a tile on the kitchen floor as you look like a purple ceramic plate with the letter "A" painted on it.


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## Imaloser (Nov 2, 2021)

I honestly have no idea what  your avatar is.  It looks like a monster demon uterus, so likely if it's my roommate I will be committing suicide and or murder shortly.


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## Look over there (Nov 2, 2021)

Instead of teaching her to be an assassin,  I would teach her how to wind people up anonymously on the Internet.


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## Merried Senior Comic (Nov 3, 2021)

I don't want an Asian chinking-up my place.


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## Professional Lurker (Nov 3, 2021)

I get a crack addict who rambles about weird prophecies and the end of the world? Sweet!


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## mr.moon1488 (Nov 3, 2021)

tits or gtfo


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## Reporterward (Nov 3, 2021)

No pets allowed. Therefore he wouldn’t be my roommate.
A conundrum!


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## SomeDingus (Nov 3, 2021)

So, a tribal-like bird carving made of wood? I guess? I don't know how you'd function.


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## Mal0 (Nov 3, 2021)

Could be worse I suppose, having a dingus as a roommate could be interesting.


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## Alex Krycek (Nov 3, 2021)

I still hang out with my ex and she’s jealous of all women so you should probably hide when she comes over. Here’s like 10$ to go fuck off while she’s here. 

We’re both dog people though so we probably get along otherwise.


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## Samir (Nov 4, 2021)

I don't want the black oil


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## Blackhole (Nov 4, 2021)

you better get me some good kibble with your pilot paycheck


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## snailslime (Nov 4, 2021)

yay i get another doggo


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## JohnDoe (Nov 4, 2021)

I'm fine with Impact, but the minute I see Comic Sans things are going to get real messy. Other than that I'm am completely fine with all sorts of memes, I love them myself. But graphic design is my passion, and there I draw the line.


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## TomServo (Nov 4, 2021)

Fuck my life.


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## JohnDoe (Nov 4, 2021)

A robot roommate means I get to monopolize the shower, which is great!


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## SneedEyeMitch (Nov 4, 2021)

You better not shed your fur, furry. It's a pain to clean up.


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## The Last Stand (Nov 4, 2021)

SneEyeMitch said:


> You better not shed your fur, furry. It's a pain to clean up.


I hope you have gun safes.


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## Tempest (Nov 4, 2021)

this can work


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## The Last Stand (Nov 4, 2021)

Tempest said:


> this can work


You don't shed, do you?


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## FierceBrosnan (Nov 4, 2021)

I've always wanted a roomie I could dryly talk mad shit with after work.


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## JohnDoe (Nov 4, 2021)

The bird has to pay his third of the rent.


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## FierceBrosnan (Nov 4, 2021)

JohnDoe said:


> The bird has to pay his third of the rent.


She needs to get to laying eggs like my quail or else her ass is out of the house. 
Also #based furry gymbro roomie. Can't top that.


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## Leeroy (Nov 4, 2021)

I get to pet a bird, so everything is right in the world. Just gotta worry about my cats attempting to "play" with it


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## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

You know what...
There could be worse.


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## JohnDoe (Nov 4, 2021)

This should be workable, not a problem with the over-enthusiastic attitude and I love burgers so if you cook, I'll do the dishes. Since you're a sponge, any sticky messes should be a snap! Handy that, since I made plenty of them!


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## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

How do I report sexual harassment?


----------



## Lame Entropy (Nov 4, 2021)

No, this will not work. Especially if we’re living in the pineapple.


----------



## Wraith (Nov 4, 2021)

I like you. Don't steal my food, don't get in my way and if you enter one of my summoning circles while it's active it's your fault if you end up in Portland.


----------



## Officer Eradicate (Nov 4, 2021)

turn down that shitty music


----------



## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

Nope. That motherfucker is literally eradiating. 2nd Chernobyl over here.


----------



## Overcast (Nov 4, 2021)

Well, Spongebob has a job and can clearly take care of himself, so I can put up with his shenanigans. Hell, I’d join in.


----------



## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

I'm not a good caretaker. I'll have to pass on this one.


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## s0mbra (Nov 4, 2021)

Is this a "really a thousand year old witch" thing, or am I going to have to start going to parent teacher conferences now?


Overcast said:


> Well, Spongebob has a job and can clearly take care of himself, so I can put up with his shenanigans. Hell, I’d join in.


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## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

You must be good at hacking. I could use your 5000 VPNs.


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## Pocket Dragoon (Nov 4, 2021)

I'd get it to wash my bathtub & gun; but not my body, because that'd be gay.


----------



## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

I heard blood baths were quite rejuvenating.


----------



## Unyielding Stupidity (Nov 4, 2021)

Is sealing someone's mouth shut with duct tape against their will legal? I'm not sure my sanity could survive otherwise.


----------



## s0mbra (Nov 4, 2021)

What the shit said:


> You must be good at hacking. I could use your 5000 VPNs.


Wtf does SpongeBob need with a VPN 

But this could benefit us mutually. I need a good sponge to wipe up the blood of my enemies


----------



## What the shit (Nov 4, 2021)

As long as you clean me afterwards, and you let me enjoy the view, you got me.


----------



## Kiwi Kitty (Nov 4, 2021)

I mean, I'm not a big fan of SpongeBob, but ffs I'm on a budget I'll take what I can get


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (Nov 4, 2021)

Just don't knock anything over getting in here.


----------



## Overcast (Nov 5, 2021)

I’ll sleep with one eye open.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (Nov 5, 2021)

Expect to shovel snow.


----------



## Yaoi Huntress Earth (Nov 5, 2021)

I feel like I'd put him on bathroom cleaning duty when we make up the chore list. That, I'd be sticking to showers.


----------



## Overcast (Nov 5, 2021)

Not into BDSM, you gotta go.


----------



## KittyGremlin (Nov 5, 2021)

Overcast said:


> Not into BDSM, you gotta go.


Sure, why not. Guess I'm dad now.


----------



## What the shit (Nov 5, 2021)

Nice kitty cat. Sure, I could live with a cat wearing shades. Just make sure to shit in the litterbox or better yet, shit outside.


----------



## BlueArmedDevil (Nov 5, 2021)

As long as he keeps his fishtank clean and pays rent on time it's cool.


----------



## Pocket Dragoon (Nov 5, 2021)

Yes, I could be roommates with a visual representation of the last thing someone sees when they don't leave when asked.


----------



## RSOD (Nov 5, 2021)

...............................


----------



## TheSword (Nov 5, 2021)

Gross as fuck


----------



## Unyielding Stupidity (Nov 5, 2021)

Seems like the type to pay his rent on time, and generally keep things neat and orderly. Just don't mention the war when you have guests round.


----------



## Brain Power (Nov 6, 2021)

…… : (


----------



## Sage In All Fields (Nov 6, 2021)

You seem cool, but I'm getting a room separator and not interacting with or looking at you because you're a femoid no hard feelings


----------



## TapewormSalesman (Nov 6, 2021)

Cool, I can use you to telephone everybody and tell them to praise the Lord


----------



## opy702 (Nov 7, 2021)

I can live with it, but if you even *THINK *about puking up fish on my carpet, I'm going Office Space on your ass!


----------



## Power Ranger Monster (Nov 7, 2021)

Try not to get grease all over everything.


----------



## Kiwi Kitty (Nov 7, 2021)

I like Power Rangers, this could work


----------



## Crex Crex (Nov 7, 2021)

Oh god


----------



## The Lawgiver (Nov 8, 2021)

Yesssss, the funny bird.


----------



## Probably a deer (Nov 8, 2021)

I'm keeping my dogs away from her.


----------



## Character from a movie (Nov 8, 2021)

I like venison stew


----------



## Phalanges Mycologist (Nov 8, 2021)

I'd never lack for Bril Cream.


----------



## Waifuwars (Nov 8, 2021)

SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFF


----------



## Big Booty Deathclaw (Nov 18, 2021)

just don't shit and piss inside and pay your share and yeah seems fine


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