# What will happen when Ralph dies?



## Ripple (Aug 3, 2021)

What will Gator do when Ralph dies? I don’t know if he’s ready to be on his own


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## FuzzMushr00m (Aug 3, 2021)

PPP throws an improvised mourning stream, Gator calls in, never to be seen again outside of his schizo Twitter


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## Tom Myers (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will pour some makers out for his master, then keep the gravesite swept up for many years. Think Seymour from Futurama.


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## Deprussian Doge (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator can never be on his own, he is a natural janny and perpetual sidekick. He will have to attach himself to some other repulsive e-personality and channel all his Aspergers into sweeping for them. Until he bites the dust either from eating himself to death or having things thrown at him by his Puerto Rican girlfriend.


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## Popper Whiting (Aug 3, 2021)

Probably something like this


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## Dick Molesterson (Aug 3, 2021)




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## heathercho (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will be absorbed back into the gunt.

That or he'll become the next Ralph.


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## Punished 🌍 (Aug 3, 2021)

Gaytor will be continue to be schizo on twitter with his 3 likes and complain about "KarenFarms and Jawsh Moon" if Ralph was to pass away.


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## Ralphamale (Aug 3, 2021)

We all cease to exist.


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## Agran (Aug 3, 2021)

*HOW MANY RATS WILL IT TAKE TO GNAW THROUGH A TON OF PUTRID FLESH?*


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## Titos (Aug 3, 2021)

I will violently fuck mantsus' asshole on his grave and fill it with my hunk spunk.


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## Hüftpriester (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will be willingly sacrificed and accompany his master to the underworld, as was custom in the Nordic Bronze Age.


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## MeltyTW (Aug 3, 2021)

Everyone he ever met will celebrate, gator will become the host of the kill report and all of us will say it's over until trolls turn gator into as big of a lolcow or he does something stupid and beces featured here more prominently


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## Baklava (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will announce that he's transitioning into Ethan Ralph and his pronouns are It's/Nawt/Truuuu


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## Product Placement (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will have to pay to fix the damage once this happens to Ralph








						‘Overly obese’ body sets crematorium on fire
					

A crematorium went up in flames when the excessive fat from an “overly obese” body caused the pyre to burn too brightly, according to local reports. The owner of the Hillside Chapel Cre…




					nypost.com


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## AutismAwareness (Aug 3, 2021)

When ralph dies, Pantsu will have already left him. He'll be found 2 weeks later fused into his bed like his father after gator works up the courage to call the police for a wellness check.


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## Tims (Aug 3, 2021)

Ralph becomes a martyr & Gaytor leads a holy Janny crusade against Karen Farms during the merge where he dethrones Janny Jewsh to become the one janny to sweep them all.


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## Oliveoil (Aug 3, 2021)

Alexander can FINALLY live a normal life


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## Reverend (Aug 3, 2021)

Nothing as the internet will forget about him much they have with every pissant individual on social media who disappears into oblivion.  The attention span of the Internet is measured in hours.


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## cans.wav (Aug 3, 2021)

Null wins for eternity


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## Insane In The Membrane (Aug 3, 2021)

Null wins and retires in his Switzerland summer home and the world will be at peace.


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## TwoDollarPeePeePooPoo (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will claim that Ralph is still alive
Gator will then claim that Null killed Ralph
Gator will then attempt to kill himself but fail


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## BlueSpark (Aug 3, 2021)

When they try to force his mass into the coffin the gunt will explode like William the Conqueror's


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## PaulBearer (Aug 3, 2021)

Much rejoicing?


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## Exuvia (Aug 3, 2021)

> When whales die and sink, the whale carcasses, or whale falls, provide a sudden, concentrated food source and a bonanza for organisms in the deep sea.
> Different stages in the decomposition of a whale carcass support a succession of marine biological communities. Scavengers consume the soft tissue in a matter of months.
> Organic fragments, or detritus, enrich the sediments nearby for over a year.
> The whale skeleton can support rich communities for years to decades, both as a hard substrate (or surface) for invertebrate colonization and as a source of sulfides from the decay of organic compounds of whale bones. Microbes live off of the energy released from these chemical reactions and form the basis of ecosystems for as long as the food source lasts.
> At deep sea levels this forms a new food web and provides energy to support single- and multi-cell organisms and sponges, thus adding to the ocean's food chain.


Hope this helps.


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## Jew Lover 1488 (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator might just off himself to join the gunt in the afterlife


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## Lobster Cult High Priest (Aug 3, 2021)

Jew Lover 1488 said:


> Gator might just off himself to join the gunt in the afterlife


Gator commits Seppaku since he dishonoured his duty of always sweeping it up


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## Jew Lover 1488 (Aug 3, 2021)

Lobster Cult High Priest said:


> Gator commits Seppaku since he dishonoured his duty of always sweeping it up


GAYDUR YOU DISHONOURED ME BY NOT SWEEPING IT UP FASTER


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## Rabid Northman (Aug 3, 2021)

Ralph's will reveals his remains are to be spread over a cornfield so he can provide one last harvest.


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## Lobster Cult High Priest (Aug 3, 2021)

Rabid Northman said:


> Ralph's will reveals his remains are to be spread over a cornfield so he can provide one last harvest.


That crop of corn will be used to make a commemorative batch of Makers Mark Bourbon.


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## instythot (Aug 3, 2021)

Gator will take the opportunity to do what he always wanted to do: Janny for Jim. Easy work these days.


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## Realistic Elephant (Aug 4, 2021)

An unusually heavy Hefty bag will be left on the curb.


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## Spike Spiegel (Aug 4, 2021)

The horse will find a new stable.


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## BOLDYSPICY! (Aug 4, 2021)

Barb will put him in a group home.

...Wait, shit. I'm confused.


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## Disgruntled Pupper (Aug 4, 2021)

Gator will kidnap the demon baby, raising it in secret and under a harsh regiment meant to instill the best knowledge of alt-right memes, youtube personalities, and Tucker Carlson lore before reveling him as the True Successor of the Gunt at a Nick Fuentes rally. He will then wage war upon the Kiwi Farms and battle Jersh to avenge his father.


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## veri (Aug 4, 2021)

i’ll be bored because i won’t have a gunted alcoholic flaggot to read about and laugh at in my free time.


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## ScamL Likely (Aug 4, 2021)

A random poster on this board will spontaneously grow a gunt, inherit gaytor, and start a new killreport.


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## WhimsicalTrolli (Aug 4, 2021)

The gunt will find a new host in gaydur and gaydur becomes the new Ralph instead of being a 2 dollar metokur.


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## BooneHelm (Aug 4, 2021)

Sadly Gator will now have to prep the bull in Ralph's place if he dies.


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## Slimy Time (Aug 4, 2021)

He will haunt Null. Null will be trying to sleep while hearing a drunken voice whisper "damn you paedophile Joshua Moon".


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## Niggernerd (Aug 4, 2021)

Memphis Tennessee's value will go up


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## Sea Hag Henderson (Aug 4, 2021)

Widow Gator, unable to countenance the thought of life without the Gunt, decides to bring back sati. The resulting pyre ends up being like a tire fire and takes a week to go out.


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## LurkTrawl (Aug 9, 2021)

Assumedly the local crematorium, if they make the mistake of trying to burn the body, goes up in a conflagration of blue flame.


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## Thomas Highway (Aug 9, 2021)

People on autist forums will gloat.

His son will not care.


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## REGENDarySumanai (Aug 10, 2021)

We would be free of flagging.


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## LordofCringe7206 (Aug 10, 2021)

The stock price on maker's mark plummets and causes the company to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.


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## Fougaro (Aug 11, 2021)

When Ralph dies, who will get ownership of Gaytor?


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## KaiserBlade (Aug 11, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> When Ralph dies, who will get ownership of Gaytor?


The 7-11 Gator works at.


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## Sam Losco (Aug 11, 2021)

Fougaro said:


> When Ralph dies, who will get ownership of Gaytor?


Josh Moon


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## LordOdin (Aug 11, 2021)

Null will have one less fat woman to stream about.


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## Puck (Aug 11, 2021)

He'll get buried in a double wide coffin


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## Haint (Aug 11, 2021)

His body will bloat and become hideous. 

NVM, it already has.


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## Puck (Aug 14, 2021)

When they bury him the earth will get diabetes


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## Punished 🌍 (Aug 19, 2021)

He's going straight to hell !!!


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## king of pickles (Aug 20, 2021)

The gunt will become one with the planet, and 100 mil years later become the largest oil field in history. The gunt will then power whatever civilization may exist at that point.


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## Truly Rural (Aug 21, 2021)

He was 5'10" , 300 lbs, drunk, living off intimidation, reproducing with random women. This dude was Ralphamale!


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## FM Bradley (Aug 21, 2021)

Truly Rural said:


> He was 5'10" , 300 lbs, drunk, living off intimidation, reproducing with random women. This dude was Ralphamale!


I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of the True Kang KEN REX


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## alan thicke (Aug 21, 2021)




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## Near (Aug 21, 2021)

Kiwifarms wins, ralph loses, ppp wins, Faith Vickers wins, Alexander Vickers wins.


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## #KillAllPedos (Aug 26, 2021)

When Ralph dies, he’ll do one last Killstream reviewing all his numerous fuckups with commentary.


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## Kramer on the phone (Aug 26, 2021)

I get access to the USB drive filled with a dozen bitcoins he swallowed at the start of gamergate


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## veri (Aug 27, 2021)

Kramer on the phone said:


> I get access to the USB drive filled with a dozen bitcoins he swallowed at the start of gamergate



take it in the divorce mantsu don’t pass up the opportunity


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## Michael Janke (Aug 27, 2021)

depending on when he dies. he leaves behind several bastard children. how many, remains to be seen.


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## Alex Krycek (Aug 27, 2021)

All credit to @Shiversblood I just adapted it.


The year is 2020. This story takes place in the United States of America.

41 year old Ethan Ralph awakes in his room, hella groggy. He had spent the night beforehand drinking large amounts of the most expensive Whiskey a man can simply pitcure, Makers Mark. It was a pleasureable beverage, and he was glad he purchased it. He goes into the front room and grabs some water to drink. He whips out his celluar phone device and calls his friend, Faith. "What be up gunt." She says. "hey, Its a nice day, wanna go out to breakfast with me?" Ethan Ralph says, in a somewhat nervous manner. "I dunno bout dat, its 2:30. Lets go get some lunch or somthin." "Gunt"

Ethan Ralph leaps into his bright red sports converible and pulls out of the driveway, and then simply floors it. He has known Faith for a while now, and he is hella excited about this date they are going on today. He is going 100 miles an hour down the road. He swerves and squeels his tires and slams on the breaks and stops at Faiths house. Faith gets in his car. "Nice ride you got hurr." Faith says. "yeah, i got it in the willl when Tonka shot himself in the forehead." Ralph says. "Tight tight" She responds. They head over to Dame Pesos resteraunte, and eat large amounts of food. Ethan Ralph’s stomach begins burnging from the spicey food. "Ill take the check please.' Ethan Ralph says, already worried a this point. The bill is 50 dollars. "FUCK NO SON!" Ethan Ralph screams at the top of his lungs as he looks at the bill. he pays for it but does not leave a tip. And he spits a loogie on the floor as he leaves.

Ethan Ralph and Faith are now at his house. He takes her by the hand and leads her into his bed room.
'Lay on the bed and get naked" Ethan Ralph says. "Ethan....everyone knows ur a blatant homosexual." Faith says. Ethan Ralph’s eyes grow wide.
"What the fuck u just say?" Ethan Ralph says. "Look...I know ur just doing this so all the guys will think ur straight or whatever, its okay, but u dont have to do this, I know ur gay." Faith says.

"IM NOT A FUCKING HOMOSEX!" Ethan Ralph says and then furiously starts punching Faith in the head. She cries out in pain, Ethan Ralph starts chokeing her with his hands. he simply loses control. Her eyes are frantic and full of fear. Her face turns blue. Eventually, and finnaly, her body grows limps and stops struggling. he has strangled her to death. He looks around, frantic. "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit OH SHIT!" ethan Ralph says, then shoves her dead body underneath his bed. He goes into the front room and drinks some Maekers Marck.

His celluar phone device then goes off. The song playing is, "MC Jarbo - Better than me" he aswnsers. "me and the guys are drinking larges amounts at the bar son! Wanna come!?" Gator screams into the phone. "Sure, why not." Ethan Ralph says, the hangs up. Ethan Ralph needs somehting to take his mind off what he has just done, drinking large amounts at the bar (And doing Xanax) surely will help him. He gets into his car and speeds towards Jim’s Beverages bar. The one he and his friends always go too.

He spots Gator and Warski at the bar and heads over to them. "Gunt son!" Gator screams, and raises his pitcure of ale, then takes a huge gulp out of it straight out of the pitcher.

"Im having a really bad fucking day." Ethan Ralph says sadly, with his head hanging towards the ground.
"Ch-Cheer up eh, and h-have y-yourself a whiskey!" Warski says. That crazy Warski and his other wordly stutter.
Ethan Ralph starts downing bottles of Makers Mark simply in one drink, "I need another!" he screams at the bar tender, then grabs the bettle and is taking large gulps.

"Slow down there son" Gator says. "NEVER!" Ethan Ralph screams into his face.

"I know what will do the trick, all get u a lap dance from one of them hookers dancing on them poles." Gator says. He calls a hooker over. Sweat begins running down Ethan Ralph’s face.

She starts dancing on his lap. and keeps grinding. and grinding.
"This man is homosexual, he isnt even getting a boner." the hooker says and gets off Ethan Ralph’s lap. Gators mouth drops wide open.

"ARERRRHHHHHHH!" ETHAN Ralph screams, and he grabs a bottle of beer and smashes it over the hookers head, then he slashes her neck with the broker bottle. She falls to the ground dead. Everyone in the bar starts screaming insanely. He runs out of the bar and speeds off into his car. He drives home and runs into the basement. he opens up a safe, and pulls out his pistol. he puts the gun into his mouth. if he is truely a homosex, this is the only way out.

He then hears Gator running down the steps screaming. Gator sees the pistol in Ethan Ralph’s mouth, and says, "Ralph dont do it man! We can get you some help man!"

Ethan Ralph looks up at Gator and takes the gun out of his mouth, then shoots Gator two times in the chest and once in the forehead, killing him. Ethan Ralph runs upstaires. There he sees Warski, screaming “STAY BACK, STAY BACK!” As he runs at Ethan Ralph and Ethan Ralph also shoots him twice in the chest and once in the forehead. He sees a army of squad cars with sirens blareing and lights flashing pull up in front of his house. Null gets on the loud speaker.

"Come out with your hands in the air"

Ethan Ralph throws his pistol onto the floor and comes out with his hands in the air, he is quickly handcuffed and put in the back of a police car. Cops flood into his house searching for any evidence or anything. They discover the pistol, Gators bullet ridden body, and the dead body of Faith. He is not charged for Warskis murder. 

Ethan Ralph is charged with Three counts of first degree murder, and 1 count of a felon in possesion of a fire arm.

The trial lasts for six months. Finnaly, the jury comes back with a verdict.

"everyone rise." The judge says. Ethan Ralph stands up in court next to his defense team, with his head looking down and sorrow on his face.

"We hereby find the defendant, Ethan Ralph, legally Declared Homosex."

Ethan Ralph turns around to the audience sitting, with a smirk on his face, and winks.

Sourced from
https://pastebin.com/ZWCFBAcC


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