# If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it?



## Monika H. (May 7, 2019)

I wouldn't be able to do it, it's difficult enough to keep a single woman satisfied and happy.
I'd be more capable of handling the traditional wife-mistress combo, not that I want a similar situation. 
It just seems the more manageable, if selfish.

If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it?
What kind of arrangement would you prefer?


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## Judge Holden (May 7, 2019)

Rape

Also suicide


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## NOT Sword Fighter Super (May 7, 2019)

Here's the secret to not getting into a poly relationship: don't date thots.
Seriously though, I could never do this.


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

Yeah I'm going to punch out of that aircraft before the nosedive turns into a tailspin.  I don't do poly.  If my partner decides "oh hey we should do the poly thing by the way here's my other fuckfriend you should totally go out for coffee" then I chose fucking poorly.


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## AnOminous (May 7, 2019)

Murder.


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## break these cuffs (May 7, 2019)

Haunt the shit out of whatever sick fucks dug up my corpse and violated it.


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## Slappy McGherkin (May 7, 2019)

Just gotta keep your pimp hand strong, that's all.


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## Black Waltz (May 7, 2019)

have sex with whoever's the cutest, kill the rest


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## Guts Gets Some (May 7, 2019)

Get out of it, because truly, I made a grievous error.


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## Zeke Von Genbu (May 7, 2019)

Shitpost answer: I'd only accept women into this poly harem in progress if they offer different body proportions to the current harem so they can be envious to each other while I eat popcorn and get whatever I want depending on the mood. No fat chicks though, because no one would be envious of them.

Actual answer: I've heard most the typical poly reasons both from personal stories I've been told from people who got told to try a poly relationship and from reading the r/poly on the farms, and none of them make sense. I always hear this concept of an "emotional" and "physical" partners, and I don't understand why one person can't be both. Even if you need some extra emotional support, you have close friends and confidants for that you don't need to be open to fuck those people for emotional support. If your partner is that useless as an emotional support, then your partner probably sucks anyway. Poly relationships are useless garbage and I hate seeing people try to propose it as some new found way to grow their current relationship.


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## IV 445 (May 7, 2019)

Yeah I would head for the hills. Poly people are crazy.


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## A shitty ass clover (May 7, 2019)

I would only do poly if my main bitch is a lesbian. adding dudes and becomes a clusterfuck.

I wouldn't do it IRL anyways.


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## PL 001 (May 7, 2019)

I wouldn't. I'm not thirsty, or a cuck. Poly relationships really don't serve a point in my eyes. If you just want to fuck around with different people, stay single and fuck around till your heart's content.


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## Red Hood (May 7, 2019)

Purely hypothetical since I don't have the patience for poly nonsense, but I guess just bang everyone and wait for the whole thing to inevitably crash and burn.


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## Monika H. (May 7, 2019)

This is a question I should have put in the OP but I'll ask it now:

Giving full reign to your ego and cult of personality, would you like to have an harem of girls/guys /both?


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## Recoil (May 7, 2019)

Balloon Time kit & a Hefty bag.

And no to harem shit. Good monogamy is hotter.


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## ChickenGoesBawk (May 7, 2019)

Never honestly. It's a really uncomfortable thing for me.


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> This is a question I should have put in the OP but I'll ask it now:
> 
> Giving full reign to your ego and cult of personality, would you like to have an harem of girls/guys /both?



No.  Despite my ego being what it is, I am happiest with a single significant other.  I abhor promiscuity and prize trust and loyalty very highly.


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## dopy (May 7, 2019)

with a flamethrower


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## Vorhtbame (May 7, 2019)

This thread is restoring my faith in humanity--for now, anyway.


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## Marco Fucko (May 7, 2019)

Why are you guys so insecure about being poly amorous? Literally just throw a collar on them and chain that collar to your throne. Make it like the ending to Violence Jack. That way, you have different flavors on tap for when you need something new. Simpletons.


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## Nekromantik (May 7, 2019)

Shit post answer: I would love to have a harem of sexy men that would pamper me everyday all day, and walk around in sexy outfits.

Real answer: No, I couldn't do it.

A lot of poly people say that they're in a poly relationship because they fell that something is lacking in their mono relationship, be it physical or emotional. How ever, something I have see reading a lot of stories from poly people about their relationships is that despite that fact that they preach communication is important, it's something that they don't practice at all.

Communication isn't just about informing your partner about who you're going to bang or date that night, it's about really talking about how your lives are going to be together. Relationships are a partnership, like a business. If you live together, it's about fiances, chores, and raising a family (if you have one.) It's working together to make sure that your life runs as smoothly as it can. This is way past the new relationship phase that so many poly people seem to be addicted to. You know each others strengths and weaknesses and are willing to help each other. This is being comfortable and vulnerable with each other. Not the I'm so comfortable I can fart in front of my partner type thing, more the It's 3 in the morning and I'm here in the ER asleep while my partner is in surgery getting their appendix taken out because it exploded, and I'm staying here till they come home because I know they need someone here and I want to make sure they're ok, and I know they would do the same for me.

Your partner should be your very best friend, (that you bang) getting to that point is a lot of work and takes a lot of trust, and I don't think I could ever do it again. Poly doesn't seem as emotionally as filling to me.


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## RisingPhoenix (May 7, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> I wouldn't be able to do it, it's difficult enough to keep a single woman satisfied and happy.
> I'd be more capable of handling the traditional wife-mistress combo, not that I want a similar situation.
> It just seems the more manageable, if selfish.
> 
> ...



Probably the better question would be "how would you react if your partner asked to make the relationship open?" - because you don't just wake up one day in a Poly relationship (or if you do, that's enough sign to GTFO)

If that were the case then depending on length of time with partner, would see what brought it on, probably would be terribly upset, but I'm not going to go poly to stick with someone who obviously has a new beau, but just wants to stay sweet with the previous partner because the scenario will eventually swing one of two ways. 

1) Partner 1 eventually twigs that by "open" they mean "you look after me and I fuck the other one". If not then emotional breakdown by Partner 1 eventually happens as they willfully put up with being put 2nd for the exciting new partner always. 

2) Partner gets bored of partner 2 or partner 2 peaces out at some point, leaving you having to console the person who cheated on you to begin with - but the cycle can begin again at any time because your now in an open relationship and unlikely to fix that outside having enough self-respect to leave. 

But answering the original question: if I had to choose, then maybe a situation where we both had each other and someone else. That in of itself isn't exactly easy to organise, let alone making sure nobody's spreading STD's ect. 

But in a magical world where people can actually manage several intimate relationships proper. I'd make sure both partners got as much equal time as possible. Realistically this won't ever happen, someone would become favoured and someone else would become neglected and hurt. 

In short: no.


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## Monika H. (May 7, 2019)

Nekromantik said:


> Shit post answer: I would love to have a harem of sexy men that would pamper me everyday all day, and walk around in sexy outfits.
> 
> Real answer: No, I couldn't do it.
> 
> ...


Best post so far, and I have to say I completely agree with you.

The bottom line of this thread essentially confirms what was my initial opinion: the poly/harem thing is a fantasy a lot of people indulge in, but it's not something we would (as sane people) do for real.

Anyhow, here's me with all my boyfriends


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

A request to open the relationship will result in me opening the door and gesturing for them to leave.  It's occurred to me that I'm going to have to start laying out IN ADVANCE on any dating profile or during any kind of prelude to going steady that requesting open relationships/polyshit once will get you a firm no and pressing harder after that is grounds for immediate dismissal, which depresses me.


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## nippleonbonerfart (May 7, 2019)

I would get in a competition with my partner to bring the most retarded individual home for the evening.


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 7, 2019)

nippleonbonerfart said:


> I would get in a competition with my partner to bring the most exceptional individual home for the evening.


Very kinky.


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## The Fifth Waltz (May 7, 2019)

I'd get jealous and leave because your feelings arent that important to them.


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## Law (May 7, 2019)

Ignoring one person while I play video games is plenty enough for me. I don't have the energy to ignore two people at once.


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## *extremely mom voice* (May 7, 2019)

Zeke Von Genbu said:


> I've heard most the typical poly reasons both from personal stories I've been told from people who got told to try a poly relationship and from reading the r/poly on the farms, and none of them make sense. I always hear this concept of an "emotional" and "physical" partners, and I don't understand why one person can't be both. Even if you need some extra emotional support, you have close friends and confidants for that you don't need to be open to fuck those people for emotional support. If your partner is that useless as an emotional support, then your partner probably sucks anyway. Poly relationships are useless garbage and I hate seeing people try to propose it as some new found way to grow their current relationship.





Spoiler: Shit's dark, man



I've been hanging out on the r/polyamory thread long enough to know that saying you have a "physical" partner and an "emotional" partner means there's a fun, low-maintenance side piece who you bang every other weekend, and then there's an older, less fiery relationship that pays the bills or cleans the house and generally looks after the boring aspects of life. Despite the open infidelity and lack of sex or passion in the relationship, the "emotional" partner is always waiting at home to stroke your ego and enable your poor life choices. This partner is uninterested in polyamory, despite real efforts to brainwash themselves into it, and is genuinely confused about why they're having meltdowns and crying spells "for no reason" three times a week.

There's also the classic Rat King Polycule, which consists mainly of "lesbian" MtFs who nuked their support system while transitioning. In these rich waters, new and exciting forms of narcissistic abuse are evolving every day.



If I had to be polyamorous? Easy. I'd have two gay boyfriends who live with each other but not me. That way they can play with each other so they don't get bored, but I don't have to deal with them all the time. I'd only want a harem of slavegirls chained to my dais if I could hire a eunuch to handle them, like the ancient Babylonian kings did. Otherwise it's too much trouble.


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## Clones of Alex Jones (May 7, 2019)

Run!


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## drtoboggan (May 7, 2019)

I wouldn't handle it because I'm not a cuck.


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## TL;DR (May 7, 2019)

I'm going with murder and suicide


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## ProgKing of the North (May 7, 2019)

Wonder how the fuck I actually managed to find two different women that wanted to have sex with me at the same time, and be too scared to enjoy it cause I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop


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## RG 448 (May 7, 2019)

I’d make sure the group remained goal-oriented, like Manson did.


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## MaoBigDong (May 7, 2019)

I’m already cheating on my wife, might as well go balls deep and rub it in her face /sneed

Seriously: No wtf that’s gay bro


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## e-gf (May 7, 2019)

Nope the fuck out. Polys are sluts and not the good kind.


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## Slappy McGherkin (May 7, 2019)

nippleonbonerfart said:


> I would get in a competition with my partner to bring the most exceptional individual home for the evening.



That brings back some fun and horrific memories.


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## Slappy McGherkin (May 7, 2019)

Vorhtbame said:


> This thread is restoring my faith in humanity--for now, anyway.



Enjoy it while you can. Tomorrow is business as usual with the fuck ups of humanity factor.

Paging @FloridaMan.


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## AF 802 (May 7, 2019)

Ram the gun so far down my throat there'd be no heart left when I pull the trigger. Seriously.


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 7, 2019)

I've never had a lobotomy or been raped by a clown so the idea is strange to me. 

It's just another way for extremely selfish people to define away their immorality.


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## Sīn the Moon Daddy (May 8, 2019)

I'm mostly opposed to polyamory tbh
Having any sort of sexual encounter with another male is simply off the table and one woman is more than enough trouble. 
But hey, if you want to fuck up your life feel free to be poly


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## pentylspacer2600 (May 8, 2019)

it stinks but you can date people way out of your league if you compromise your happiness and dignity


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## WW 635 (May 8, 2019)

pentylspacer2600 said:


> it stinks but you can date people way out of your league if you compromise your happiness and dignity


Yea, but that's any type of relationship


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## pentylspacer2600 (May 8, 2019)

Cricket said:


> Yea, but that's any type of relationship


you would know


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## Exigent Circumcisions (May 8, 2019)

Sīn the Moon Daddy said:


> But hey, if you want to fuck up your life feel free to be poly



You might be putting the cart in front of the horse there.


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## Watcher (May 8, 2019)

I’ve been in a poly relationship. The way I viewed it was akin to a friends with benefits situation. Like you have a friend you do stuff with and have sex with on the side. In this case I mostly just went to her house, we watched Star Trek and had sex and I’d leave. And there was very little actual “relationship” occurring. It helped I went into the relationship aware it was poly from the start, it didn’t start off like a traditional monogamous relationship. Which really helped since I didn’t really have any expectations or any emotional attachment.

It was very stress/jealousy free but it wasn’t emotionally fulfilling and when the relationship ended I was slightly relieved. I don’t think i’d do it again. It was a very pragmatic relationship and I’d compare it to one you’d have with a barber or a lawyer. You are friendly with each other like old friends but there is a service provided, and you’re replaceable.

I’ve also talked to women since who’ve admitted to being in poly relationships when I attempt to date them, and most of the time there are patterns to it. Usually it’s resulting from fear of heartbreak. IE: I am afraid of rejection so I want to have multiple guys around just in-case. Other times it’s fear of commitment. A lot of it is very fear based and built around being afraid of not having control over a situation. They also usually have a history of being in long term relationships where the guy leaves them. Most of the time the woman is divorced. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a woman who was in a poly relationship who didn’t have some trust issues.


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## Some Manajerk (May 8, 2019)

Haha, having multiple women interested in me, a good joke that.

But what about the other side of the coin. You're not part of the original pair, instead you're the person they bring in when they decide "hey, lets be poly" I honestly don't see how you'd do it, unless you want to play out your cucking fetish without the risk of an angry husband beating your ass. 
Just think, you'd somewhere have that thought that likely neither of your new partners really care about you and they just brought you into a relationship as a living sex toy in a desperate attempt to rekindle some spark they've lost before the whole thing goes down in flames.


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## Clop (May 8, 2019)

During my leftist phase, I did do polyamory and did have two sexual partners. I would not recommend it to anyone. 

There was a lot of jealousy involved over time because people can only keep themselves deluded so long. First it tripped on A no longer liking B (so no more threesomes), then it tripped on A wanting me all to themselves, and then I started getting jealous of B when they started fucking a long-time friend of mine (and he refused to speak to me afterwards so that was ten years of a friend down the toilet over a woman). I know it's PL but you asked and I can't resist a good anecdote.

I could not handle it, it was a terrible fucking mistake. Every time I see polyamory talked up as the new standard and men and women insisting that they want more non-monogamous relationships, I visibly cringe. I cringe because I've seen what it does to people and how fucking not worth it it is. Don't do it. Just don't. Have some standards.

Not against threesomes, mind you - but don't try to have a relationship with them.


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## nonvir_1984 (May 8, 2019)

Make sure my shed was sound proofed and had a heavy steel door; and for the rest of the time, viagara.


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## Red Hood (May 8, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> This is a question I should have put in the OP but I'll ask it now:
> 
> Giving full reign to your ego and cult of personality, would you like to have an harem of girls/guys /both?


For the sake of getting to use a JonTron forum weapon:





And The Shadow's Opium Warlord past self in the Alec Baldwin movie probably had a harem. I mean, you're a warlord in the Himalayas, what else you gonna do with your time?


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## Voltaire (May 8, 2019)

By having bi-sexual women to be poly with to take the sting out of a dsyfunctional relationship with increasingly degenerate threesomes. No other options are allowed it would be this or nothing. I'd burn though that relationship faster then a bat outta hell with nothing but good memories left.


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## Amber the Hedgehog (May 8, 2019)

I find myself in poly situation, I would start looking for a new house, new spouse and reasonable priced assassin, of course.

Seriously though, only form of poly I might be okey with is closed triad sort of deal. Time and attention are limited resources but depending on what jobs, hobbies and other obligations there are I can see three or fore adults be able to create staple and happy relationship. That’s still small enough number of people that everyone can realistically know each other intimately and take everybody’s input when making plans. I do know some married people who also have very important long time friendships. These people do take each other account when planning for the future, see each other very often, look after each other, help out financially, are there for health issues and even have big arguments once in while. If my polyrelationship would be something like that but with sex and living together, then I might be able to deal with it and be happy. If there is respect, frank communication and everyone is very family centric and emotionally staple type, a small group poly relationship could work out. I think it’s unlikely and lot of work but doable under right circumstances. Still definitely not for everyone and I doubt I’m one those people. It’s hard enough to maintain relationship, balance finances, share shores and not to have conflicting long term goals with just two people.


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 8, 2019)

Watcher said:


> I’ve also talked to women since who’ve admitted to being in poly relationships when I attempt to date them, and most of the time there are patterns to it. Usually it’s resulting from fear of heartbreak. IE: I am afraid of rejection so I want to have multiple guys around just in-case. Other times it’s fear of commitment. A lot of it is very fear based and built around being afraid of not having control over a situation. They also usually have a history of being in long term relationships where the guy leaves them. Most of the time the woman is divorced. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a woman who was in a poly relationship who didn’t have some trust issues.



Polyamory strikes me as a damn weird way to handle trust issues.


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## Watcher (May 8, 2019)

Sprig of Parsley said:


> Polyamory strikes me as a damn weird way to handle trust issues.


it makes perfect sense from the woman's perspective because she has all the power in the relationship, the guys are just hangers on. If that makes sense. She can't realistically be rejected in a poly relationship unless all parties mutually agree to reject her at once. Which would never happen, all that would occur is it would switch to a pseudo monogamous relationship which is what she ultimately wants. It's a perfect example of having your cake and eating it too.


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## Sprig of Parsley (May 8, 2019)

Watcher said:


> it makes perfect sense from the woman's perspective because she has all the power in the relationship, the guys are just hangers on. If that makes sense. She can't realistically be rejected in a poly relationship unless all parties mutually agree to reject her at once. Which would never happen, all that would occur is it would switch to a pseudo monogamous relationship which is what she ultimately wants. It's a perfect example of having your cake and eating it too.


I'm not sure whether this causes me distress or makes me feel smugly vindicated.  Neither is particularly attractive, frankly.


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## Old Wizard (May 8, 2019)

I think polyamory is fucking degenerate (buh dum tss) but I think there are more and less effective ways to maintain a harem.

I guess if you were to travel a lot, you could have an insignificant other at each place you frequent.  If anyone came into contact with one another there would be a giant fucking cat fight.  I'm under the impression that rich business men or sugar daddies do this.  Since there's no emotional involvement and you're not close enough all the time to annoy one another, I can imagine this would last the longest.  

A (do they call it a polycule?) polygamist horde probably won't work with anyone who is entirely sane (wouldn't want a degenerate relationship) or entirely mentally ill (difficult to deal with, exhausting) which is why a latter-leaning middle ground is useful- Mormons, religious nuts, or cults- and luckily there is a lot of overlap in these three groups.  This only works if you are white trash or living in the 3rd world.  



Spoiler



This stuff is genuinely upsetting.  It's either a) tons of dysfunctional women fighting while some hick who's 90% lard, 10% disgusting facial hair ignores why they're upset because he gets to smash puss from four different Beth Smith Chapmans.  Or it's women being abused in 3rd world countries.  Or women who have been repressed so much by their culture, religion, or internal self-loathing (see: that woman from Sister Wives who came out as lesbian after she was raised and surrounded by Fundamentalist Mormons here entire life) that they force themselves to be in a relationship devoid of genuine connection.


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## WhoIsSutterKane (May 20, 2019)

a gun, a toxic waste barrel, and hydrochloric acid


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## Basil II (May 21, 2019)

by not being in a poly relationship.


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## Eto (May 21, 2019)

I wouldn’t be in a poly relationship, no matter how much you paid me. I’m not desperate enough to want a partner who wants more than just me. It simply comes off as selfish, and downright greedy. Not only that, but did you know that polygamy increases your chances of heart disease by more than four-fold? It’s not exactly caused by it, but it is correlated.

Now, if I were roped into a polyamory, I’d ditch the person immediately. Fuck that noise.


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## Nova Prime (May 21, 2019)

After seeing the debacle that is ProJared's love triangle trash fire extravaganza, it just doesn't seem worth it to even try.


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## Pargon (May 21, 2019)

Spoiler: Seems obvious, really


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## Kaede Did Nothing Wrong (May 21, 2019)

Pargon said:


> Spoiler: Seems obvious, really
> 
> 
> 
> View attachment 766581


I think a lot of people's relationship drama is obvious from the outside. It's how therapists get paid despite most not having any wisdom of their own.

The main issues imo are
1. Some people deal with relationship power issues by pretending such a thing doesn't exist and their platitudes about equality will overwrite human nature
2. People aren't fully aware when they test boundaries in relationships. Women are especially bad about this. People who buy into #1 will go along with partner's emotions when they'd earn more respect (sometimes affection) by saying hell no.

doesn't matter if the idea of a poly relationship is an obvious trap of wanting to have your cake and eat it too, combine 1 & 2 & young adult libido and natural arrogance, they won't see it. I've also yet to see a poly couple who weren't weirdos


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## Voltaire (May 21, 2019)

Set a rule that my the gf I'm cheating on has to be around when I have sex with someone else. Pretend it's a trust thing or whatever but really just be doing it for a reverse cuckold. Also break up with her as soon as possible and make up some womanly emotional bullshit reason for why since she would obviously be insane and can't ever be told the truth.


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## Slimy Time (May 21, 2019)

By first getting a soundclip/recording of her asking for a poly relationship and me saying no, then telling her that it's over, pack her shit and go. Soundclip is there in case she tries to MeToo me, and unlike a certain youtube reviewer, I'm not paying for her resettlement costs.


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## Lemmingwise (May 21, 2019)

Amber the Hedgehog said:


> Seriously though, only form of poly I might be okey with is closed triad sort of deal


This is what I thought too, but despite all the caligula like sex with one, the other and both, it wasn't worth it in the end.


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## UptownRuckus (May 22, 2019)

I honestly don't think a Poly Ship would work. Humans are too dumb to make Thanos levels of balance.


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## Surf and TERF (May 22, 2019)

I would leave.

But to humor the question, if I’m deliberately in a poly relationship then I’m probably either suicidal or close to becoming homeless. Either way I’d be mentally ill.


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## Shiawase (May 23, 2019)

I'm interpreting this as idealistic hippie utopia polyamory (poly from the ground-up), and not projared poly (a broken 1-on-1 relationship with outsiders tacked on).

I would be an appeaser probably. To avoid inciting any jealousy I'd walk on eggshells constantly, which is fine since I do that by default.

If (when?) any participants do begin to display jealousy, I'd double down on the Chamberlain strategy while the fuse burns. Mediate and placate until one of them snaps and kills all of us.


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## turboNIG-3k (May 23, 2019)

Double-murder-suicide not even memeing


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## Jazz Cat Blini (May 27, 2019)

Heinrich Himmler said:


> If you were in a poly relationship, how would you handle it?



Poorly


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## V0dka (May 28, 2019)

Watcher said:


> I’ve been in a poly relationship. The way I viewed it was akin to a friends with benefits situation. Like you have a friend you do stuff with and have sex with on the side. In this case I mostly just went to her house, we watched Star Trek and had sex and I’d leave. And there was very little actual “relationship” occurring. It helped I went into the relationship aware it was poly from the start, it didn’t start off like a traditional monogamous relationship. Which really helped since I didn’t really have any expectations or any emotional attachment.
> 
> It was very stress/jealousy free but it wasn’t emotionally fulfilling and when the relationship ended I was slightly relieved. I don’t think i’d do it again. It was a very pragmatic relationship and I’d compare it to one you’d have with a barber or a lawyer. You are friendly with each other like old friends but there is a service provided, and you’re replaceable.
> 
> I’ve also talked to women since who’ve admitted to being in poly relationships when I attempt to date them, and most of the time there are patterns to it. Usually it’s resulting from fear of heartbreak. IE: I am afraid of rejection so I want to have multiple guys around just in-case. Other times it’s fear of commitment. A lot of it is very fear based and built around being afraid of not having control over a situation. They also usually have a history of being in long term relationships where the guy leaves them. Most of the time the woman is divorced. I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to a woman who was in a poly relationship who didn’t have some trust issues.



I think you are pretty on the nose here. As someone whos had poly suggested to me by a significant other.  It's a risk avoidance behavior.  They are not only fearful of commitment, because they can't commit, but also fearful of rejection.  As others have said in this modern age of feminism, it's only logical to make use of the newfound power you have to protect yourself  "to have your cake and eat it too".  No one today would consider it allowable for a man alone to take another partner due to fear of rejection, but for women this is an acceptable behavior for many.  And trust me, I've seen it first hand, so I know it's fairly common.

As for me, who has experienced it, as soon as it was suggested to me, I considered the relationship over.  Even if the partner didn't because she wanted a "backup".


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## Manah (May 29, 2019)

I can't imagine wanting to spend my life with one person, let alone more than that.


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## Lemmingwise (May 29, 2019)

V0dka said:


> think you are pretty on the nose here. As someone whos had poly suggested to me by a significant other. It's a risk avoidance behavior. They are not only fearful of commitment, because they can't commit, but also fearful of rejection. As others have said in this modern age of feminism, it's only logical to make use of the newfound power you have to protect yourself "to have your cake and eat it too". No one today would consider it allowable for a man alone to take another partner due to fear of rejection, but for women this is an acceptable behavior for many. And trust me, I've seen it first hand, so I know it's fairly common.
> 
> As for me, who has experienced it, as soon as it was suggested to me, I considered the relationship over.



I think the moment a partner suggests it, the relationships as it was is over in any case. Very few relationships survive poly. And the ones that do that I've seen.... yikes, maybe it shouldn't have survived.

And if you say; no I don't want that; well that's just going to be a recipe for resentment.

------------------

Though I don't think it's true that it's "not allowable for a man." I don't like to power level, but I was young and foolish and was in a triad poly thing for  while with 2 girls. But besides poly, there's also examples like how some cultures like french culture looks upon affairs as somewhat acceptable as long as you take good responsiblity to hide it from your spouse.


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## Hellbound Hellhound (May 29, 2019)

I think the best way to ensure that these kinds of relationships work is if there's not much emotional intimacy involved. If you approach it like you're a group of friends who just happen to enjoy having sex with each other, then it will probably work out just fine for the duration that it lasts. I think the secret is to not take it (or yourself) too seriously, and be emotionally prepared for the day that it comes to an end.


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## Ted_Breakfast (May 29, 2019)

I'd make it work by having absolutely no pride and by lacking the ability to maintain healthy human relationships. That would take work, but it would be worth it because at the end of the day I could home to a group of people who I'm on a first name basis with and who might have sex with me.


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## JektheDumbass (Jun 3, 2019)

I've been in a poly relationship.  I managed by not getting too attached to anyone, and dropping anyone who got too possessive.  Women love to be poly but demand their partners be faithful to them, you gotta be willing to tell them to piss off.

Honestly, I would have rather have a dedicated partner.  Maybe adopt a couple kids, get a dog and a couple cats.


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## LazarusOwenhart (Jun 3, 2019)

Polyamoury to me has always seemed so unequal. It's either a single woman stringing multiple guys, and their wallets along whilst paying a sort of minimum wage of sex and attention or a typical Chad with a couple of attractive girls with poor self esteem who he gives approximately zero fucks about. I know there are rare ones where it's three or more bisexuals who all pork each other and seem happy to just live communally but for the most part it's just exploiting others lack of confidence for personal gain.


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## queerape (Jun 9, 2019)

It would be very hard for me as I've only ever been strictly monogamous. At most, I could maybe do a thruple with two men, but even then that would be asking a lot of me.  How it would actually pan out would also vary on if the men are bi or straight, and it'd be way harder with two straight men.


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## Malagor the dank omen (Jun 10, 2019)

V0dka said:


> I think you are pretty on the nose here. As someone whos had poly suggested to me by a significant other.  It's a risk avoidance behavior.  They are not only fearful of commitment, because they can't commit, but also fearful of rejection.  As others have said in this modern age of feminism, it's only logical to make use of the newfound power you have to protect yourself  "to have your cake and eat it too".  No one today would consider it allowable for a man alone to take another partner due to fear of rejection, but for women this is an acceptable behavior for many.  And trust me, I've seen it first hand, so I know it's fairly common.
> 
> As for me, who has experienced it, as soon as it was suggested to me, I considered the relationship over.  Even if the partner didn't because she wanted a "backup".


This so much. Fear of rejection is still a thing, but it's also surprising to see so many people afraid of commiting to a partner and settling down, pretty much thinking it's life imprisionment and that their lives are over once they decide to do so. Where i'm from many chicks think like that and want to "live their youths to the max", meaning they will go from party to party blowing 5 guys every day. And not to forget how many feminists are also pushing the "polyamory is healthy and normal and if you want a monogamous relationship you are everything bad in the world". Sorry for wanting to be responsible.

I don't have much relationship experience, but as soon as my significant other would suggest it i would ditch her without a second thought. If they drop the poly thing it usually means they want to cheat on you with your permission or you don't cover their needs anymore. Better alone than having someone that will make you feel miserable in the long run.


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## Meat Poultry Veg (Jun 10, 2019)

1. It wouldn't even happen.
2. If it did happen, I'd take that as SJWese for "I'm a cheating whore" and nope the fuck out of that situation.


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## omori (Jun 15, 2019)

No for many reasons.

I’m an anxious person. I’m a person with fairly low self esteem. If my partner were to see someone else I’d take it upon myself that there would be something insufficient with myself that my partner had to seek in someone else. 

I couldn’t imagine myself looking for another. Relationships are hard work with just a singular person. It’d be stressful to spread myself out with multiple people.

Poly relationships seem like just a miscommunication away from an utter meltdown. People who think they can realistically workout are kidding themselves.


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## Sexual Napalm (Nov 30, 2021)

i could never be polyamorous.
i don't think it's ANY of my partner's business who i'm sleeping with.


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## Lichen Bark (Nov 30, 2021)

"Honey, I want to open our relationship, I want to try polyamory."

Me exiting the relationship in record time. 

On a serious note, even if you said no, you'd start to wonder if they would start seeking action secretly on the side after saying that, probably just the beginning of the end realistically. I'd have to have a serious look at myself, because somehow I missed this gigantic character flaw in my mate. What if you stayed, and there was a pregnancy, big yikes.


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