# Ask a stupid question - get a correct, autistic answer.



## A-tistic (Aug 13, 2016)

*Example question:* Why do I have to pull down my pants before I shit?
*Example answer:* While you don't "have to" do this in any legal context not pulling down any blocking garments before defecating would very likely result in various complications. You risk serious infections and various skin diseases. From a social perspective, soiling your clothing with feces is generally negatively looked upon. Using soiled clothing would be likely to strain your relationship with your friends, family and possible romantic partner.

Get the idea? 

Give an answer to the poster above and post a question.

So...

*Why doesn't Nintendo or Sega buy the rights to Sonichu?*


----------



## Damocles_Sword (Aug 13, 2016)

Well, you see, for Nintendo to purchase the rights to Sonichu, it would have to also purchase the rights to Sonic from Sega to legally publish any Sonichu merchandise. Also, let's not forget that Nintendo would have to deal with Chris himself, as we all know he has no concept of reality, and has already put down his minimum demands of a 7 figure salary, several sex slaves, and retention of creative rights to the property. Nintendo also couldn't just blow Chris off,  as he could make a valid claim on many of the Sonichu characters, such as his mayoral avatar, the jerkops and janekops, Count Graduon, and, Slaweel Ryam, and what there in.

Why isn't green a creative color?


----------



## Bogs (Aug 13, 2016)

Green is not a creative color because it is the color associated with envy. Envy at other people's creativity.

What was so curious it killed the cat?


----------



## DoctorJimmyRay (Aug 13, 2016)

It was curiosity _itself_ that caused its death.  Curiosity piques one's interest, leading to the possibility of investigation.  And when one investigates, one has to put oneself "out there" so to speak.  By this, I mean that one exposes oneself to the subject in question.  This expose itself _alone_ isn't enough to kill the proverbial cat, but rather, it is a myriad of potential  dangers that comes with the exposure.  There are many things that could hurt you during an inquisitive phase: cars, cancer, the KGB (now the FSB).  In the case of the well known saying, the cat was likely run over by a vehicle, or killed by another animal.  So, thus, it was the curiosity in itself that killed the cat.  All of this implies a level of sapience of course, so read up the requite Wikipedia articles at your leisure if you require background information.

Why do constipation poops hurt more than regular stools?


----------



## drain (Aug 13, 2016)

The eternal egg x chicken. I'm legit curious.


----------



## AnOminous (Aug 14, 2016)

DrainRedRain said:


> The eternal egg x chicken. I'm legit curious.



The chicken comes first because if it didn't, the egg wouldn't get fertilized.

What's wrong with Anthony "A-Log" Logatto that makes people be mean to him?


----------



## fcgh vgcf (Aug 14, 2016)

is this weed and should i smoke it


----------



## A-tistic (Aug 14, 2016)

DrainRedRain said:


> The eternal egg x chicken. I'm legit curious.


The egg. The bird that evolved into a chicken also laid eggs. Therefor at some point a non chicken laid an egg that gave birth to a chicken. Of course, evolution is not in precise "steps" like this but... its the closest thing to an either/or answer imo.

Edit: But wait: Should an egg laid by a pre-chicken that gave birth to a chicken be called a chicken egg or a pre-chicken egg?


----------



## drain (Aug 14, 2016)

A-tistic said:


> Edit: But wait: Should an egg laid by a pre-chicken that gave birth to a chicken be called a chicken egg or a pre-chicken egg?



Thanks dude, now I have more doubts about eggs and chickens...


----------



## Ntwadumela (Aug 14, 2016)

Why is the word "re.tard" replaced with "exceptional"?


----------



## Somar (Aug 14, 2016)

So we don't hurt retarded people's feelings for calling them what they truly are.
Why were a ton of banned users like @autisticdragonkin unbanned yesterday?


----------



## r00 (Aug 14, 2016)

Ntwadumela said:


> Why is the word "re.tard" replaced with "exceptional"?



"re.tard" is not officially recognised as a word by any dictionary that I know of, so am i correct in assuming that it is a typo? Single words are not usually punctuated in that fashion (with the period in the middle).
If you used the word "re.tard" in a sentence then it would almost certainly need to be replaced with something else, depending on the meaning that you wish to convey, as it would cause the sentence to be grammatically incorrect and therefore unreadable. If a sentence contained the word "re.tard" then you could of course replace it with the word "exceptional", but without more context then it would be impossible to determine whether this would  actually make the sentence any more grammatically correct or semantically accurate.



*Why dont they arrest internet trolls and put them in prison?*


----------



## PT 404 (Aug 14, 2016)

r00 said:


> Why dont they arrest internet trolls and put them in prison?



Because the trolls are used by the government to drive Autistics to suicide. It's all part of a eugenics program started by Roosevelt in the 30's. By 2050, cyb0rbullying is expected to drive the autists to extinction.

Why do my feet hurt?


----------



## The Janitor (Aug 16, 2016)

Your feet hurt because you spent too much of your free time trying to reanimate the dismembered heads of presidents to fill your wall, you futurama obsessed nerd. Just use KidNapster, it works really well.

*Wny did the ween in a chicken suit cross the highway?*


----------



## Somar (Aug 17, 2016)

The Janitor said:


> Wny did the ween in a chicken suit cross the highway?


To get away from the chefs who think he's a real giant chicken.
What would happen if @Null himself got banned from the site?


----------



## MalWart (Aug 18, 2016)

He'd sit at home all day watching Anime (obviously) and eating Doritos lol

Why does my cat shit in the shower?


----------



## AnOminous (Aug 18, 2016)

MalWart said:


> He'd sit at home all day watching Anime (obviously) and eating Doritos lol
> 
> Why does my cat shit in the shower?



Cats no like stinky litter box.


----------



## Innocuous (Aug 23, 2016)

Do you think they have magic the gathering cards at the dollar tree? Mm, you can sometimes find them there, you get ten to a pack.


----------



## Oglooger (Aug 27, 2016)

Why is my dick so hard it can break walls?


----------



## WW 635 (Aug 27, 2016)

Increased blood flow to the dick occurs in response to sexual arousal or to inconvenience you at awkward moments. 

Why is the liquor store so far away?


----------



## MrJakeTerror (Aug 27, 2016)

CricketVonChirp said:


> Why is the liquor store so far away?


Because if it was any closer, it would greatly decrease the resale value of houses in your community.

Why are there so many weird dice in Dungeons & Dragons?


----------



## AnOminous (Aug 27, 2016)

This thread is fucking mislabeled.  

I asked this simple question:



> What's wrong with Anthony "A-Log" Logatto that makes people be mean to him?



Never got an answer.  Because you're all pussies.


----------



## mikemikevfan (Oct 13, 2016)

Why can't US just kill Assad?


----------



## Aquinas (Oct 13, 2016)

AnOminous said:


> What's wrong with Anthony "A-Log" Logatto that makes people be mean to him?


People hate seeing the worst of themselves in others.


----------



## glass_houses (Oct 13, 2016)

mikemikevfan said:


> Why can't US just kill Assad?



The immediate problem is the logistics of carrying out the hit. Unless there is a deep mole within Assad's rank and file (or maybe just rank) trying to reach him is going to be very close to impossible. He'd be surrounded by several hundred angry and psychopathic soldiers at all times, and a full frontal attack by the US and their allies would quickly become a bloodbath as both sides cheerfully throw their best and brightest in front of the cannon. And in the back, Assad has already bolted for the exit so by the time the coalition reach Assad's position, he'd be long gone.

Simply dropping a bomb on the fucker is even worse; first they'd have to be certain that they had the right co-ordinates on his position, then they'd have to be certain that anything they dropped would be able to smash through the layers of concrete and steel off the bunker he's in, and that few to none civilians get killed when the bomb hits. Nothing affects a soldier's allegiance  quite like having to walk around with a garbage bag picking up random pieces of shredded human flesh, and picking up your own close relative. Many of the Syrian allies would likely be displeased by this sort of thing; in that situation and whether Assad is dead becomes quite irrelevant, because he'd be promptly replaced by a former US ally who's seen the light of Allah in the mildest of all the carnage, rather vexed and inclined to demonstrate their displeasure on the US coalition.

Also, NATO, being charged with war crimes and human rights violations, and pissing off Saudi Arabia and all the other sand niggers into cutting off the oil artery that is crucial to even the most basic of needs to many different countries, fucking up the global economy, the world government's treaty with the Reptilian alien overlords and etc and so forth and other junk.




How the fuck can one cat and one medium sized dog together produce enough shed fur to replace the entire carpet of a four bedroom house in less than a week? And still have enough fur left to recarpet said house every week for three months after that?


----------



## AnOminous (Oct 13, 2016)

mikemikevfan said:


> Why can't US just kill Assad?



World leaders don't directly assassinate each other, usually, because once you open that can of worms, pretty much every major world leader would be assassinated within days.


----------



## mikemikevfan (Oct 14, 2016)

Thanks for answers!


----------



## DuskEngine (Oct 14, 2016)

lawfags-- What is the reasoning behind trying someone who is underaged as an adult for a crime? 

I've never heard of the law being similarly bent to account for someone, say, giving consent as an adult or voting as an adult. Do those exist or is this the only exception to that rule?


----------



## mikemikevfan (Oct 15, 2016)

Why can't we get (published) video filmed by that German bisexual cannibal (forgot his name) who ate consenting man?


----------



## AnOminous (Oct 15, 2016)

DuskEngine said:


> lawfags-- What is the reasoning behind trying someone who is underaged as an adult for a crime?



The general idea is with certain crimes, the precocious young criminal has shown an adult propensity for crime and thus "deserves" to be punished as an adult.  For instance, murder.



DuskEngine said:


> I've never heard of the law being similarly bent to account for someone, say, giving consent as an adult or voting as an adult. Do those exist or is this the only exception to that rule?



A minor can sometimes file for emancipation before the age of majority and be able to sign contracts or do other business related things minors ordinarily can't do, or effectively "divorce" their parents and be legally considered an adult.  Other age limits, though, like those for voting or acting in pornography or drinking alcohol, are just considered arbitrary hard limits.


----------



## WEEDle (Oct 17, 2016)

mikemikevfan said:


> Why can't we get (published) video filmed by that German bisexual cannibal (forgot his name) who ate consenting man?



I know the case you're referring to but I do not know the specifics. If I had to guess, I would say that the family of the man who was eaten would not want that footage being released for many reasons. 

Perhaps they do not want to remember their son that way and they don't want others to either. Also the fact that it is footage of an illegal and gory act that many people have no interest in viewing other than for sexual kicks or just morbid curiosity. Assuming the footage hasn't been destroyed and sits in a police storage area somewhere, they would have no reason to release the footage and probably fear doing so would inspire copycats. 

I have a legit question that's been kicking around in my head for a while, might sound a bit stupid if you know the answer but what the hell, I'm curious. 

If you shave your body hair does the hair on your head take longer to grow because your body has to grow more hair back (all over the body) as well as the head, or does it make no difference and is a dumb question?


----------



## MrJakeTerror (Oct 17, 2016)

WEEDle said:


> If you shave your body hair does the hair on your head take longer to grow because your body has to grow more hair back (all over the body) as well as the head, or does it make no difference and is a dumb question?



I actually did this experiment firsthand when I was 15. I shaved off my sideburns as well as a chunk of leg hair, and they grew about the same speed. Though after a while the leg hair stopped growing and my sideburn hair kept going.

Why do public school guidance counselors still exist?


----------



## glass_houses (Nov 20, 2016)

MrJakeTerror said:


> Why do public school guidance counselors still exist?



I'd make some snide comment about it being one of those ultimately pointless positions that has to be kept as a token to keep the parents happy even if they're obsolete, but as it happens I've a sister in law who's studying to become one. She's a qualified high teacher, so what she's doing isn't a change of career so much as branching off the existing one. She's something like one credit shy of graduating, so I don't know whether there will be any difference between study and practice.

Truthfully I still don't quite understand what it is exactly that she's going to do. I thought at first it'd be tea and sympathy for kids getting bullied, but it turns out that by far and away the focus is on careers and the various social and service industries that they're in. A metric fuckton of statistics and money tracking. Essentially, it seems to revolve around employment. There is a definite deficient in personal assessment; the emphasis seems to be on getting that vital first job, or else the university and/or trade that's needed for it. She'll be able to counsel students as to what the supply and demand of the employment market, which is in no way insignificant. 

It doesn't really cover any sort of advice for people with various disorders or disabilities though, and there's only a limited degree of individual assessment.

Why does my new flatmate spend endless time on Facebook trying to get attention, work as a shift manager in a fast food restaurant, say that she's lonely but goes straight to her room as soon as she gets home and only comes out to visit the bathroom? I've spoken to my predecessor and she told me that my flatmate acted exactly the same as the two and a half years that they lived together. If I want to talk I have to text. It makes no sense to say you're lonely but completely refuse to even say "Good morning."


----------



## WW 635 (Nov 20, 2016)

glass_houses said:


> Why does my new flatmate spend endless time on Facebook trying to get attention, work as a shift manager in a fast food restaurant, say that she's lonely but goes straight to her room as soon as she gets home and only comes out to visit the bathroom? I've spoken to my predecessor and she told me that my flatmate acted exactly the same as the two and a half years that they lived together. If I want to talk I have to text. It makes no sense to say you're lonely but completely refuse to even say "Good morning."


She likely suffers from an insecure style of attachment that results from the parenting style she grew up with and a lack of goodness of fit to her temperament. Because of this, she fears rejection and is avoidant of relationships. She feels she can't be hurt if she never opens herself up to allow it to happen.

Why do I keep misplacing my cell phone?


----------



## gaybashing<3 (Nov 21, 2016)

Cause you're a mistake.

Why did Hitler not like sex


----------



## Zarkov (May 25, 2017)

Hitler had seven relationships over the course of his tragically short life, more than most of the cows that have threads on this website, to say nothing of the posters. He was married to Eva Braun for 14 years. Braun biographer Heike Görtemaker notes that the couple enjoyed a normal sex life.

While I know Tumblr is making its damnedest to make sure everybody forgets it, it's actually possible to hate homosexuals without secretly being one yourself.

Why is it that we always know when people are looking at us from behind ?


----------



## Meat_Puppet (May 27, 2017)

Because they are trying to peer into your soul you fool.

*Why do I spend hours cleaning just for my home to get messy again?*


----------



## Zarkov (May 28, 2017)

You were supposed to give me a correct (if autistic) answer. I am legit disappointed.


----------



## Meat_Puppet (May 28, 2017)

WhatNemesisMeans said:


> You were supposed to give me a correct (if autistic) answer. I am legit disappointed.


I'm sorry. Should I have made the response more autistic than the question itself?


----------



## Henry Wyatt (May 30, 2017)

does bruno mars is gay?


----------



## HY 140 (May 30, 2017)

UncleMoeLester said:


> does bruno mars is gay?


no one knows

Why doesn't my mom love me?


----------



## Henry Wyatt (May 30, 2017)

Dicaprio Delorean said:


> no one knows
> 
> Why doesn't my mom love me?


because you post on the autism support forum also known as kiwifarm's off topic section


----------



## A-tistic (May 30, 2017)

Why do females not appreciate when I give them free surprise kisses on the subway? Also why are females evil?


----------



## DrJonesHat (May 30, 2017)

Evil is a relative term. Perhaps they are not receptive to your advances because your approach is in contravention of conventional social mores and people are conditioned to view that as wrong?

In keeping with that: why does mace hurt so much?


----------



## Meat_Puppet (Jun 6, 2017)

Because fat tranny autists need protection too. You most certainly don't want them having a tazer let alone a gun. It's perfect for macing hourly associates and strangers you deem a threat.

Why am I such a terrible person?


----------



## Pina Colada (Jun 6, 2017)

Perhaps you don't follow social norms when you're out in public, much less on a forum full of spergs that make fun of other spergs. Try looking at some self-help books and articles; little things like fixing up your appearance can make a world of difference. Spending more time with people who are less likely to have negative thoughts is a great confidence-booster, and you will be bound to make some new friends. 

What happens if I accidentally drop my phone in the toilet?


----------



## Some JERK (Jun 6, 2017)

Pina Colada said:


> What happens if I accidentally drop my phone in the toilet?


That depends on the make and model of your phone. Most phones are not water resistant (note that I didn't say "water-proof" or "water-tight" as these are nearly impossible states to reach given that water pressure is highly variable due to depth and dynamic pressures and can reach forces that would crumple a submarine)

Most likely, however, your phone is not very water resistant. In such a case, water would permeate the internal structure of your phone, flowing across its electrical contacts. Since toilet water is essentially tap water, it is highly conductive, and would therefore cause circuit shorts which could damage your phone. 


Why aren't leaf blowers illegal yet?


----------



## DrJonesHat (Jun 6, 2017)

Leaf blowers are not illegal as the manufacturing industry makes a large profit off their sale. Politicians are susceptible to bribes. Also, many people view noise pollution laws as infringing on their rights. 

Why was the <blink> tag deprecated?


----------



## Somar (Feb 21, 2018)

DrJonesHat said:


> Why was the <blink> tag deprecated?


Because barely anybody used it.
Why did I bump this thread?


----------



## TheClorax (Feb 21, 2018)

How does a centaur wipe it’s ass?


----------



## HY 140 (Feb 21, 2018)

Somari1996 said:


> Why did I bump this thread?


cause you're autistic

why do birds scream


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 21, 2018)

TheClorax said:


> How does a centaur wipe it’s ass?


It scoots its butt along the ground, or gets someone to do it for them.



Dicaprio Delorean said:


> cause you're autistic
> 
> why do birds scream


Because they have a mouth

Why do people be like they do?


----------



## TheClorax (Feb 21, 2018)

Army Burger said:


> Why do people be like they do?


Because :autism:.

Why do birds suddendly appear,
every time you are near?


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 21, 2018)

TheClorax said:


> Because :autism:.
> 
> Why do birds suddendly appear,
> every time you are near?



Because the birds have an interest in you

Why go?


----------



## Somar (Feb 21, 2018)

Army Burger said:


> Because the birds have an interest in you
> 
> Why go?


Because this place sucks.
Why don't animals speak the human language?


----------



## AF 802 (Feb 21, 2018)

Maybe they do.
Is Islam the best religion in the world?


----------



## Army Burger (Feb 21, 2018)

Give Her The D said:


> Maybe they do.
> Is Islam the best religion in the world?



It depends on where you live.

Is a hot dog a sandwich?


----------



## hotcheetospuffs (Feb 21, 2018)

TheClorax said:


> Because :autism:.
> 
> Why do birds suddenly appear?


over there, over here


----------



## Ass eating cunt (Feb 21, 2018)

Whenever the west gets anime imported it's always dumbed down in some way
*Case and Point*




But whenever japan get's american _games,_ they do, well this
*You might want to research a bit about oddworld to get whats wrong*


----------



## AnOminous (Feb 21, 2018)

Why are lolcows all fat?


----------



## HY 140 (Feb 21, 2018)

AnOminous said:


> Why are lolcows all fat?


Cause their cows.

did i take my pills today?


----------



## Somar (Feb 21, 2018)

Dicaprio Delorean said:


> did i take my pills today?


Considering the stuff you posted today, I'm going to say no.
How does time fly when you're having fun?


----------



## UncleFezziesPantsPuppet (Feb 21, 2018)

What dumb?


----------



## MrJakeTerror (Feb 21, 2018)

Kevin Spencer said:


> What dumb?


To be unable to perform any endeavor of intelligence.

Why do I hate all old ladies with a burning passion?


----------



## Somar (Feb 21, 2018)

MrJakeTerror said:


> To be unable to perform any endeavor of intelligence.
> 
> Why do I hate all old ladies with a burning passion?


Because they don't have to take care of themselves.


----------



## Coconut Gun (Feb 22, 2018)

Somari1996 said:


> Because they don't have to take care of themselves.
> 
> Why did I forget to ask a question?


Because you were probably busy with something else.

Why do I get lost when I'm driving so often?


----------



## Salt Water Taffy (Feb 22, 2018)

Because you forgot to turn off your anti-tracking devices 'cause you're paranoid the government's spying on you but that also means your car's GPS can't find you.

What makes Kiwi Farms so wonderful?


----------



## glass_houses (Feb 22, 2018)

Salt Water Taffy said:


> Because you forgot to turn off your anti-tracking devices 'cause you're paranoid the government's spying on you but that also means your car's GPS can't find you.
> 
> What makes Kiwi Farms so wonderful?


Schadenfreude.


----------



## MrJakeTerror (Feb 22, 2018)

To find enjoyment in the suffering of others.

Why am I so happy with my life?


----------



## gumboman (Feb 23, 2018)

why do white people on kiwifarms ( 99%) get butthurt when you write something trolling about white people who are most no. of homosexuals, trannies, paedophile ?


----------



## A-tistic (Feb 26, 2018)

gumboman said:


> why do white people on kiwifarms ( 99%) get butthurt when you write something trolling about white people who are most no. of homosexuals, trannies, paedophile ?


While your statistics lacks proper source we will for the sake of discussion assume that they are true. People are in general unwilling to associate themselves with people of these mentioned characteristics (e.g. by belonging to the same race) and will respond to such claims with anger. 

Why is catfishman involuntary celibate?


----------



## gumboman (Feb 26, 2018)

A-tistic said:


> While your statistics lacks proper source we will for the sake of discussion assume that they are true. People are in general unwilling to associate themselves with people of these mentioned characteristics (e.g. by belonging to the same race) and will respond to such claims with anger.
> 
> Why is catfishman involuntary celibate?



first of all bravo for not taking the bait.

second kiwis are not much into statistics, trust me .

3rd what is catfishman, not a western hemisphere guy here


----------



## Yop Yop (Feb 26, 2018)

Why is Donald Trump literally Hitler?


----------



## ES 148 (Feb 26, 2018)

Because he just is.

Why is Hitler literally Donald Trump?


----------



## Monolith (Feb 26, 2018)

They're both rich and have terrible hair. 

What's Tommy Wiseau's new movie going to be about?


----------



## Somar (Feb 26, 2018)

Nothing
Why do people keep coming back to this site?


----------



## LofaSofa (Feb 26, 2018)

Somari1996 said:


> Nothing
> Why do people keep coming back to this site?



Stockholm syndrome mostly.

Where do dogs live?


----------



## scared sheep (Feb 26, 2018)

Dogs have no "living space," although packs have "territories" they consider theirs and those kept as pets typically stay with their owners.

Why is class so boring?


----------



## Medici (Feb 27, 2018)

scared sheep said:


> Dogs have no "living space," although packs have "territories" they consider theirs and those kept as pets typically stay with their owners.
> 
> Why is class so boring?


Because us outsiders aren't used to this low IQ zone called class. All the other simpletons soak up information like sponges while I choose to ignore it. I don't need any of that garbage. It makes the class boring because it isn't challenging enough on the mind, especially to higher IQ humans like myself. 

Why is the purple pony from My Little Pony flying? I thought she could only do the magic with her horn.


----------



## MrJakeTerror (Feb 27, 2018)

Medici said:


> Because us outsiders aren't used to this low IQ zone called class. All the other simpletons soak up information like sponges while I choose to ignore it. I don't need any of that garbage. It makes the class boring because it isn't challenging enough on the mind, especially to higher IQ humans like myself.
> 
> Why is the purple pony from My Little Pony flying? I thought she could only do the magic with her horn.


An effort to both sell more toys as well as more potential story ideas.

Why do women find me attractive? I'm not humble bragging, I am actually scared.


----------



## LofaSofa (Feb 28, 2018)

MrJakeTerror said:


> An effort to both sell more toys as well as more potential story ideas.
> 
> Why do women find me attractive? I'm not humble bragging, I am actually scared.



_w_You're most likely in coma. No one _a_who surfs the fa_k_rms is attractive_e_ in any sense of_u _the word_p_.....

Just ugly people who are so desperate to not be ugly that they become anamorphic animals and trannies...

Why is the sun so hot?


----------



## Yop Yop (Feb 28, 2018)

LofaSofa said:


> _w_You're most likely in coma. No one _a_who surfs the fa_k_rms is attractive_e_ in any sense of_u _the word_p_.....
> 
> Just ugly people who are so desperate to not be ugly that they become anamorphic animals and trannies...
> 
> Why is the sun so hot?


Because GOD made it that way


----------



## AlephOne2Many (Feb 28, 2018)

Are traps gay?


----------



## DrJonesHat (Feb 28, 2018)

No. If you believe they are actually the gender they present as, most MtFs are attracted to men, which, if they identified as male, would make them gay, but since they identify as female, they are technically straight. 

Why isn't @AnOminous running for President in 2020?


----------



## Somar (Feb 28, 2018)

Because he's too good for the role of president. 
Why do we call them lolcows if they aren't even cows?


----------



## Rabbit without a hat (Feb 28, 2018)

Because cows are worshipped in India, India has lots of shit and lolcows tend to be shitty people and/or have shitty opinions.


----------



## DrJonesHat (Feb 28, 2018)

Do you know the way to San Jose?


----------



## AnOminous (Feb 28, 2018)

DrJonesHat said:


> Do you know the way to San Jose?



Open up Google Maps.  Type in where you are and where in San Jose you want to go.

Then follow those directions.


----------



## Positron (Feb 28, 2018)

What if Google Maps lead me to a dickgirl brothel?


----------



## Neptune Rising (Feb 28, 2018)

Then you're home.


----------



## Rabbit without a hat (Mar 1, 2018)

Why is it called sisterwood when wood cannot have sisters or be a sister?


----------



## AnOminous (Mar 1, 2018)

Rabbit without a hat said:


> Why is it called sisterwood when wood cannot have sisters or be a sister?



Because they couldn't just call it Girlpenis.


----------



## Tanti-Fanti (Mar 2, 2018)

Why are oranges called orange, but apples and bananas aren't called reds and yellows?


----------



## Monolith (Mar 2, 2018)

Apples are sometimes green and bananas are sometimes green or brown.

Why do memes die?


----------



## heymate (Mar 3, 2018)

Monolith said:


> Apples are sometimes green and bananas are sometimes green or brown.
> 
> Why do memes die?


Because they’ve run their course, of course.

Am I doing this right? Mort, do I look sexy?


----------



## chocolate honky (Mar 5, 2018)

How many wipes does it take to get to the center of a sphincter hole


----------



## Monolith (Mar 5, 2018)

One, so long as your tongue never breaks contact with the skin.

Why does 1+1=2?


----------



## Pina Colada (Mar 9, 2018)

Because two halves make a whole! Unless you have a nutjob teacher who goes by that damn Core Curriculum system- in that case, the problem would be 1+1-2+2 and still equal 2.

Why does nothing rhyme with orange?


----------



## Wraith (Mar 9, 2018)

Because no one will accept Klingon and Jawa as official parts of the English language. 

My best friend is female. Why don't I have any desire to mount her against my wall?


----------



## Somar (Mar 9, 2018)

Because you're a good person.
Why do people read books?


----------



## Curt Sibling (Mar 10, 2018)

People read books so they can gain actual knowledge and not autistic wikipedia "wisdom."


----------



## Plague Spectrum (Mar 10, 2018)

Is grass a vegetable or a herb?


----------



## :thinking: (Mar 10, 2018)

Plague_Spectrum said:


> Is grass a vegetable or a herb?


Grasses are herbs.


----------



## The Great Chandler (Mar 10, 2018)

Will I be able to save my parents' marriage?


----------



## LofaSofa (Mar 11, 2018)

The Great Chandler said:


> Will I be able to save my parents' marriage?



Actually you turn out to be Batman so they have to be put down for storyline purposes.

Sorry.

Why is the top of my foot so soft?


----------



## Monolith (Mar 11, 2018)

Because you were genetically predisposed to it.

Why are roguelikes objectively the best genre of video game?


----------



## Chi (Mar 11, 2018)

If a government is corrupt and almost everyone in the country knows it why doesn't anyone riot?

Why can't you work in a supermarket or any low paying job if you're overqualified but you need years of experience to work on almost any decent paying job?

Why do we have to be religious to be in the Scouts and waste 1 hour of our lives in church every Saturday?

Why do I feel like I have to hide my accounts and what I say online from my best friends even if I'm equally autistic in real life?

Why do I ask my stupid questions here instead of googling them?


----------



## glass_houses (Mar 11, 2018)

Chi said:


> If a government is corrupt and almost everyone in the country knows it why doesn't anyone riot?



It comes down to starvation, mass murder, and systemic brutal punishments for what eventually comes down to non conformity. Culture is also a massive influence. For example, many Asian cultures see individual expression as bad mannered and disrespectful, while many Western cultures find a lack of individual expression creepy. If no one is being mowed down by a hail of bullets for wearing a scarf in the wrong colour, if the vast majority of the population has enough to eat, if any type of information is mostly available... then there's really no point in rioting _en masse_. Especially in countries with a large land mass; overturning a government can be difficult if each regional seat of power is 500km from the next, from a purely logistical analysis.

All in all, no one is ever happy, but so long as there's freedom to dissent and enough to eat, rioting is more of a sport than an attempt at governmental overthrow.



> Why can't you work in a supermarket or any low paying job if you're overqualified but you need years of experience to work on almost any decent paying job?



Fucked if I know. Let us know if you ever figure it out yourself.



> Why do we have to be religious to be in the Scouts and waste 1 hour of our lives in church every Saturday?



wat



> Why do I feel like I have to hide my accounts and what I say online from my best friends even if I'm equally autistic in real life?



Porn.



> Why do I ask my stupid questions here instead of googling them?



Because Google is close enough to the edge as it is.


----------



## Elpizo (Feb 1, 2020)

Ntwadumela said:


> Why is the word "re.tard" replaced with "exceptional"?


Unfortunately, it's ableist... considering Null filtered it out (re.tard and re.tarded are the prime examples) so he won't piss off the SJW's.


----------



## Agent Abe Caprine (Feb 2, 2020)

Can I download a new motherboard?


----------



## MemeGrey (Feb 2, 2020)

Why did this thread get necro'd?


----------



## Silver Chariot (Feb 2, 2020)

DarkWeenix said:


> Why did this thread get necro'd?


autism



Aberforth said:


> Can I download a new motherboard?


sure, just note that your computer might get some new programs on it though, but nothing bad should happen, nothing at all


----------



## Pissmaster (Feb 2, 2020)

Aberforth said:


> Can I download a new motherboard?


A: You can download the blueprints for one, but you will have to obtain the materials and equipment to manufacture one yourself.  So the answer is, partially.

Q: Why is anime insane?


----------



## Niggernerd (Feb 2, 2020)

Q: Why is anime insane?
A: Depends on the genre but i digress, Anime is insane because it's what Japanese want to be. Average Japanese citizens tend to be formal, timid, shy etc wheras anime characters are always loud, charismatic, easy going etc.
Action is crazy because i guess they want to show the power of the characters and make a impact on the audience with how strong a character is.

Q: Does spider have pus pus?


----------



## off meds / online (Feb 2, 2020)

Niggernerd said:


> Q: Does spider have pus pus?



A: 


But seriously, kind of? Female spiders possess something called an epigyne. The form varies from spider to spider, but it's generally an opening on the abdomen surrounded by a section of harder than normal exoskeleton.

Q: can i change my username here? this one is stupid and i'm already very tired of it.


----------



## Book Thief (Feb 2, 2020)

Frog Gremlin said:


> Q: can i change my username here? this one is stupid and i'm already very tired of it.


It's a benefit of being a True And Honest Fan. Gotta pay Null a few bucks. Or just send him a picture of your dick/tits. Either or.

Will Chris ever find his one true love?


----------



## Jonah Hill poster (Feb 3, 2020)

I’m not sure Chris knows how to love anymore, considering that he doesn’t trust anyone on the interwebs

Why do people say things before they speak?


----------



## TaimuRadiu (Feb 3, 2020)

Was Rick Berman really *that* bad?


----------



## Lilly Philly Burnelli (Feb 3, 2020)

TaimuRadiu said:


> Was Rick Berman really *that* bad?



While Rich Berman is best known for his executive producer for several Star Trek series.  His involvement, which you ask, was he ”really *that* bad, ” is a silly question because it is a matter of subjective opinion, and many Star Trek fans have many differing opinions.


Why is the phrase ”Rome wasn't built in a day” instead of ”Italy wasn't built in a day?”


----------

