# Is there a point in online dating?



## wtfNeedSignUp (Jan 31, 2020)

I don't think I'm blowing anyone's mind by saying that online dating is a soul destroying experience. Whether the dating sites/apps are built as casino Slot Machines to put the majority of users with "near wins" to get them to spend money, or it's a case of survivor's bias where the majoirity of female users (can't speak about the men) are incapable of basic communication, even when you find a partner it rarely lasts more than few dates. So I'm starting to wonder if it won't be best to just try to pick up girls irl where at least there is a person on the other side. 
What are your takes on online dating?


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## The Last Stand (Jan 31, 2020)

If you're on a dating site, chances are the people on the same site are single and looking for somebody.

It makes it easier with that regard.


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## Thumb Butler (Jan 31, 2020)

Online dating can be dangerous. I was murdered after one of my dates, and here I am - trapped in purgatory.


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## AverageAnimeWatcher (Jan 31, 2020)

There have been cases where online dating has been so successful, it has even lead to marriage. But overall it's a poor choice.

For a successful long term relationship, you need to learn the nasty side of your partner. Those flaws we all have. It's very easy to show yourself as an "idealized" version of yourself and hide things that would destroy the relationship.

Maybe your partner is hiding from you a hoarding/drug addiction or a mental illness, or an anger issue, that you simply couldn't stand, and won't notice because that will never show up in a chat while you make jokes and share emojis.

In a relationship, you get both the very best and worst a person. Those things, you can only figure out by actually meeting that person IRL.

Online can be a good starting point for some, but eventually, you need to actually meet that person IRL, if you actually want to form a healthy long term relationship.


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## HarveyMC (Jan 31, 2020)

It depends on who you are. If you’re 19 and in a college town, go for it. You’ll likely find a hookup at the least. If you trying to find the love of your life, I doubt you’ll get that on the internet.


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## Megaroad 2012 (Jan 31, 2020)

Made it easier to stalk my husband when we first started dating seven years ago when I stumbled upon his old okcupid I guess?


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## wtfNeedSignUp (Jan 31, 2020)

Pixy Misa said:


> There have been cases where online dating has been so successful, it has even lead to marriage. But overall it's a poor choice.
> 
> For a successful long term relationship, you need to learn the nasty side of your partner. Those flaws we all have. It's very easy to show yourself as an "idealized" version of yourself and hide things that would destroy the relationship.
> 
> ...


I meant online dating as hooking up to the other person online before meeting, not in a sense of only talking on the internet and never meeting.


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## Lina Colorado (Jan 31, 2020)

Online dating is mostly for finding easy sexual encounters. If that is what you want i'd say, put on protection and go for it.
But it's obviously (imo) not a good enough tool to find real love.
I know a handful of people who found lasting love to this day via the internet but they found eachother (and i'm not kidding) on youtube or twitter or a hobbyforum.
I'd love to find something like that! But it's like winning the lottery.
I would go for picking up girls irl for now, wtfNeedSignUp. See how it goes. If it really doens't get anywhere you can form another plan.


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## crocodilian (Jan 31, 2020)

The only reliable way to forge a meaningful relationship is to take up a hobby (or several) and happen to meet people of the opposite sex who also enjoy your hobby.


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## heyilikeyourmom (Jan 31, 2020)

I get what I want out of it.


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## A Cardboard Box (Jan 31, 2020)

Compared to what? Trolling the bar. 

Don't mistake the role of online dating. It isn't going to or meant to replace those chance meetings with someone where you feel that storybook connection and live happily ever after. Online dating is meant to be an alternative to trolling the bar for pussy or cock. 

Go back 30 years before everyone was on Tinder or PoF and people were bitching about meeting partners at the bar instead of fucking your secretary like a good boomer.

People just need to be realistic.


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## Spl00gies (Jan 31, 2020)

It can work. If things start to get serious, sift through their entire internet history to make sure they have no history of being a cow, a furry or a creep.


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## Pineapple Fox (Jan 31, 2020)

Kiwifarms dating app when


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## hexonxonx (Jan 31, 2020)

Tbh I'd rather meet someone online than in a bar or something. It's much easier to check people out that way. They tend to fall for the same pitfalls many do in using the same name for everything. Plus reverse Google image search works wonders. One time years ago I was on a dating site and this dude and I were talking and about to set up a date. I always did a little research first and gave the info to friends in case anything happened. Well this motherfucker. In his 30's mind you. I find his fb and at first it seems generic. Then I notice something with his friends. Almost all of them were teenage girls. At least over half. Not as in barely legal teenagers. 13-16 year olds. That are leaving comments on his pictures about how 'omg cyuuuute' he was.

Later I texted him and told him I wasn't interested anymore since he seems like a possible pedo. You know how he responded? I shit you not his first reply was "WHO TOLD YOU?" then "It was Tiffany, wasn't it?" Went back to his profile, found Tiffany. A 14 year old. He started offering all this weird info about how Tiffany was a lying cunt and he'd given her a stern talking to before. I'm just between horrified and amused at this point. Then he goes the fuck off about how I'm not even that hot anyway and it's sad because we would have been so good together. Then he sent me pictures of his ex and says "She's way hotter than you". Okay? lol 5 minutes later "It's just sad because we really would be good together and you should give me another chance."

Now see, if I'd met this guy out somewhere there's no telling how long before I would have even discovered any of this.


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## The Fool (Jan 31, 2020)

hexonxonx said:


> Tbh I'd rather meet someone online than in a bar or something. It's much easier to check people out that way. They tend to fall for the same pitfalls many do in using the same name for everything. Plus reverse Google image search works wonders. One time years ago I was on a dating site and this dude and I were talking and about to set up a date. I always did a little research first and gave the info to friends in case anything happened. Well this motherfucker. In his 30's mind you. I find his fb and at first it seems generic. Then I notice something with his friends. Almost all of them were teenage girls. At least over half. Not as in barely legal teenagers. 13-16 year olds. That are leaving comments on his pictures about how 'omg cyuuuute' he was.
> 
> Later I texted him and told him I wasn't interested anymore since he seems like a possible pedo. You know how he responded? I shit you not his first reply was "WHO TOLD YOU?" then "It was Tiffany, wasn't it?" Went back to his profile, found Tiffany. A 14 year old. He started offering all this weird info about how Tiffany was a lying cunt and he'd given her a stern talking to before. I'm just between horrified and amused at this point. Then he goes the fuck off about how I'm not even that hot anyway and it's sad because we would have been so good together. Then he sent me pictures of his ex and says "She's way hotter than you". Okay? lol 5 minutes later "It's just sad because we really would be good together and you should give me another chance."
> 
> Now see, if I'd met this guy out somewhere there's no telling how long before I would have even discovered any of this.



I'm not lying, my ex is a lot hotter than you.


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## Your Weird Fetish (Jan 31, 2020)

HeyItsHarveyMacClout said:


> It depends on who you are. If you’re 19 and in a college town, go for it. You’ll likely find a hookup at the least. If you trying to find the love of your life, I doubt you’ll get that on the internet.


You're unlikely to find the love of your life anywhere. The vast majority of relationships end.


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## Consenticles (Jan 31, 2020)

Met my current SO playing tf2, of all games. 

To clarify, we were both over 18 at the time. Because I dont want anyone thinking I'm a pedo


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## W00K #17 (Jan 31, 2020)

I mean maybe it's not the best way to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, but I've used online dating with success in the past as a minimal effort way to get laid. Single moms over 30 are especially easy pickings.


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## queerape (Jan 31, 2020)

Look up Akerlof's market for lemons. In a market for lemons, information asymmetry between sellers and buyers causes the market to be flooded with poor quality product, until the market crashes.  In this case, the sellers know more about their product than buyer, they know if they are selling a quality product (a peach), or a bad product (lemon). The buyers have no way of knowing what they are going to get, so they settle on an average price between that of the more expensive peach and the cheaper lemon. Because the price is set at average, those with peaches have to sell at a lot, while those with lemons profit. Over time, those with peaches leave the market, while those wth lemons stay in, so the average price goes down and teh overall quality does too, driving buyers out. It becomes apositive feedback loop, until the market is overrun with lemons and crashes,

Are there conditions for OLD to become a market for lemons? Yes, and by and large it has. Do the people posting their profiles know more on if they are a high quality mate?Yes, they do, as you can put anything on their profile and you won't know you've been catfished until the first date. Is there no honest signal of quality? Yes, because  in most cases you have no way to verify what they mean on their profile. Say you are a decent quality mate, and you connect with someone, and they turn out to be shitty. This disincentivizes you from continuing, but since that shitty person got an upgrade for you, they stick around as they thik they can do better for themselves. This is why Tinder, OkC and a lot of other free  dating sites have gone to shit. That's why it seems no matter how you try all you find are bitchy, obese, bluehaired cat ladies with a gaggle of children/ scraggly fedora'd unemployed pothead neckbeards. It has nothing to do with you, all of the kind, intelligent, slim, beautiful fair maidens/handsome, well groomed, gainfully employed, stable gentlemen have long since packed their bags having the same problem you did.

So, is online dating bound to crash? Yes and no. Free online dating, yes.  With no barrier to entry there can be no honest signal of quality. But, if there is a payment, or any other barrier to entry (Ie an invitation), there can be an honest signal of quality, so high quality mates are incentivized to participate while low quality ones are kept out. Notice how tinder and bumble have introduced premium subscriptions and are icnreasingly relying on them. This is the only way they can survive being overrun by lemons. People may also respond by going back to basics: meetups through mutual friends and in real life, which can have more honest signals on both ends.


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## Your Weird Fetish (Jan 31, 2020)

queerape said:


> Look up Akerlof's market for lemons. In a market for lemons, information asymmetry between sellers and buyers causes the market to be flooded with poor quality product, until the market crashes.  In this case, the sellers know more about their product than buyer, they know if they are selling a quality product (a peach), or a bad product (lemon). The buyers have no way of knowing what they are going to get, so they settle on an average price between that of the more expensive peach and the cheaper lemon. Because the price is set at average, those with peaches have to sell at a lot, while those with lemons profit. Over time, those with peaches leave the market, while those wth lemons stay in, so the average price goes down and teh overall quality does too, driving buyers out. It becomes apositive feedback loop, until the market is overrun with lemons and crashes,
> 
> Are there conditions for OLD to become a market for lemons? Yes, and by and large it has. Do the people posting their profiles know more on if they are a high quality mate?Yes, they do, as you can put anything on their profile and you won't know you've been catfished until the first date. Is there no honest signal of quality? Yes, because  in most cases you have no way to verify what they mean on their profile. Say you are a decent quality mate, and you connect with someone, and they turn out to be shitty. This disincentivizes you from continuing, but since that shitty person got an upgrade for you, they stick around as they thik they can do better for themselves. This is why Tinder, OkC and a lot of other free  dating sites have gone to shit. That's why it seems no matter how you try all you find are bitchy, obese, bluehaired cat ladies with a gaggle of children/ scraggly fedora'd unemployed pothead neckbeards. It has nothing to do with you, all of the kind, intelligent, slim, beautiful fair maidens/handsome, well groomed, gainfully employed, stable gentlemen have long since packed their bags having the same problem you did.
> 
> So, is online dating bound to crash? Yes and no. Free online dating, yes.  With no barrier to entry there can be no honest signal of quality. But, if there is a payment, or any other barrier to entry (Ie an invitation), there can be an honest signal of quality, so high quality mates are incentivized to participate while low quality ones are kept out. Notice how tinder and bumble have introduced premium subscriptions and are icnreasingly relying on them. This is the only way they can survive being overrun by lemons. People may also respond by going back to basics: meetups through mutual friends and in real life, which can have more honest signals on both ends.


Who is the buyer and who is the seller here?


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## queerape (Jan 31, 2020)

Your Weird Fetish said:


> Who is the buyer and who is the seller here?


It's a bit more complex because both parties are buyers and sellers, yet there are still distinct supply and demand curves. The currency can be seen as time. It isn't a perfect model, but the same principles apply.


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## Duncan Hills Coffee (Jan 31, 2020)

I tried to give online dating a shot a couple of times, but every time I used it I'd stop and think, "what the hell am I doing?" and immediately delete my account.

Firstly, there's this bizarre disconnect for me. I'm a pretty introverted person, it takes a long time for me to actually make friends with someone, let alone actually develop a crush on someone. Online dating is basically forcing myself to be attracted to someone who might not even be using their real picture, and I can't really force that to happen, not unless I actually know the person.

Secondly, I end up feeling kinda pathetic about it despite the high number of people my age doing it. Am I so desperate I have to talk to random strangers to see if _maybe_ they're interested in me? I dunno, I get the stigma against online dating is no longer there for most young people but I still feel like a loser. Weirdly I even feel like that when I see someone I actually know on a service, like what if this person finds my account? Then I'd feel like a complete idiot. Despite the fact they have one too (and probably not even using it).

I dunno, I guess as someone who already doesn't feel comfortable talking to total strangers, online dating just feels too impersonal.


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## Your Weird Fetish (Jan 31, 2020)

queerape said:


> It's a bit more complex because both parties are buyers and sellers, yet there are still distinct supply and demand curves. The currency can be seen as time. It isn't a perfect model, but the same principles apply.


Time can't be traded though, only consumed.


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## Cheeseburger Picnic (Jan 31, 2020)

Maybe I'm just a romantic but the sheer secondhand embarrassment of hearing stories from people about how they met their SO swiping right on their picture after swiping right on a dozen other near-identical pictures while standing in line at the DMV or sitting on the toilet is the main reason I never considered online dating during single times.


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## queerape (Jan 31, 2020)

MakeItRain said:


> Maybe I'm just a romantic but the sheer secondhand embarrassment of hearing stories from people about how they met their SO swiping right on their picture after swiping right on a dozen other near-identical pictures while standing in line at the DMV or sitting on the toilet is the main reason I never considered online dating during single times.


I met all of my past relationships under extremely extraordinary circumstances (with huge distances and time factors involved) so finding a SO by swiping right on the toilet seems kinda underwhelming to me.


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## L50LasPak (Jan 31, 2020)

I've noticed its become a lot more complicated than it used to be when I was a kid. Or maybe I never properly understood it, but I've ended up in conversations with multiple people who've told me "Hey, dumbass, I'm a prostitute. You're in the wrong place." in slightly more words so they don't get banned. I didn't know that was part of the game now.

It also sucks unless you live an an area with a good hard million or so people in it, which basically means if you don't live in a huge population center or aren't willing to drive 3 hours to meet your date, you kind of just have to sit on your hands, browse and see if any one of the 20-30 people in the location catches your eye.

Also I've noticed a few sites actively sabotage their data now. Like some sites actually have fake accounts and don't give you precise information on when somebody was last online. I know that's probably because weirdos ruined it for everyone but at the same time if someone hasn't been on for 20 days that's nice to know so I can fuck off and go do literally anything else with my time.


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## Cheeseburger Picnic (Feb 1, 2020)

queerape said:


> I met all of my past relationships under extremely extraordinary circumstances (with huge distances and time factors involved) so finding a SO by swiping right on the toilet seems kinda underwhelming to me.



Met mine locking eyes in a crowd on mind melting quantities of LSD but basically same.


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## queerape (Feb 1, 2020)

MakeItRain said:


> Met mine locking eyes in a crowd on mind melting quantities of LSD but basically same.


One them was in a snow storm after being high for 3 days.


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## saralovesjuicyfruit (Feb 1, 2020)

I'm really glad I have never really had to date. It sounds awful.


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## Win98SE (Feb 1, 2020)

Tinder blew up the market and turned everything into an app for fucking. Years ago OkCupid was one of the better sites because they put a shitload of emphasis on writing a good profile and answering questions that would better match you with someone, but they removed a lot of that stuff because it was having the EXTREMELY PROBLEMATIC (!!!!!) effect of making sure no trans people would show up in your feed. Now they make you pay to filter out trans people IIRC. Regardless, the last time I used OkC it was basically the reject pile for the more modern and phone-only apps like Bumble or Tinder that just show you a pic and ask "Would you smash?"

But OP, you'll have way more fun if online dating is done in addition to regular IRL meet-n-fuck/date situations or you ratchet down how serious you're taking it. FWIW, I've never written a serious profile or written a genuine first message and have had decent results - I'll write something off the cuff, exchange a few messages, get a number, then ask to meet up. 30 minutes to an hour, max. If you do more than that and they leave you hanging you'll want to do something dangerous. Your pictures are all that matter for getting your foot in the door, and thankfully we live in an age were self-portraits are encouraged.


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## A Logging Company (Feb 1, 2020)

Consenticles said:


> Met my current SO playing tf2, of all games.
> 
> To clarify, we were both over 18 at the time. Because I dont want anyone thinking I'm a pedo


I don't think when people talk about "online dating" they mean connections made from organic online interactions like that, they mean human meat markets like Tinder, or algorithmic arrange marriages like Match.com.

I've been tempted to try online dating to see if marketing techniques would work in that context, but I hate social media and putting information about myself online.


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## drfuzzyballs (Feb 3, 2020)

I wasted way too much time trying  to appeal to low quality women, it's like they're all imperfect copies of some stereotypical feminist crank. And no matter how low quality they were they still not interested in me so I get to live with that fact.


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## AmeliaWise (Feb 3, 2020)

I’m 22, and as time goes on dating apps seem to be becoming the only really effective way to get a date, which is a problem because I kind of doesn’t like using them.

I’ve only used Tinder and OKCupid. Tinder I’m not cool with. The “swipe right, swipe left” thing just makes me uncomfortable and I don’t know if that’s reasonable or not.

OKCupid I find a lot more palatable, since it seems to surface a lot more about actual potential talking points or red flags that could come up on a first date, and seems less focused on a “yes or no” binary right off the bat. But again, I’m made pretty uncomfortable by the idea of being matched to a person via a computer algorithm. Just a personal hang-up I have to get over, honestly.


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## Spunt (Feb 3, 2020)

I did online dating as my primary way of meeting people for years. I did meet a couple of people I had long-term relationships with, but on the other hand, especially for guys it's a soul-shattering experience of being rejected ten times a day for weeks on end. Probably a better way to meet people for casual sex but I was dumb enough to want some actual connection with someone. Plus the usual experiences - girls that turn out to be a full 300lbs heavier than their profile pic, tracking down someone's Facebook only to find they have four kids by three different dads that they didn't tell you about, all good stories in retrospect but no fun when you have your hopes up about someone.

Also, each site (at least in the UK) has its own particular horrible clientele:

OKCupid - Swarming with infuriating hipsters, all of whom list David Bowie as one of their favourite musicians. Literally all of them. One girl had written her entire profile in the third person and listed Pliny the Elder as one of her favourite authors.

PoF - Council estate ditchpigs and fat goths with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

Match - Basic blonde women called Laura who work in HR and have had their personalities surgically removed. "I like nights out but also nights in".

Craigslist - Psychopaths, weirdos and serial killers. I got all my actually good dates from the assorted nutcases here.

In the end I met my wife through a mutual hobby we had. Whilst we did get in contact over the internet initially, it wasn't for dating purposes so I don't know if it counts.


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## Niggernerd (Feb 3, 2020)

Depends. If you expect a relationship that won't be a fairy tale for the rest of your life then yea its fine, or if you're in my position where every woman around you is either a fat ugly mexican, generic thots with no personality except loving nigger music and drinking more than they shame their parents and really boring cunts then yes again.
If you wish to have a forever lasting one. Well there's honestly not such thing. Dating online can fail as fast as an irl relationship. Neither is great or bad just human nature. Fuck and move on.

I would do it but i can't since my loyalty lies with my boat waifus.


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## Jonah Hill poster (Feb 3, 2020)

Online dating has killed the “I think I’m in love” aspect, if we consider how far Tinder and Bumble have destroyed the way how women are supposed to view themselves.


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## A Welsh Cake (Feb 3, 2020)

Man, I haven’t had a proper match with anyone in forever.
Wether I go for the “hey bb u wan som fuq” approach or a more sensible attempt to chat with the girl, no matter what I get no replies. 

At this point I’m convinced dating sites (At least in my area) are for girls to just say “I matched with this many people” and treat it as an offshoot if their Instagram.
But maybe that’s just my MOTI top hat talking.


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## Your Weird Fetish (Feb 3, 2020)

Spunt said:


> I did online dating as my primary way of meeting people for years. I did meet a couple of people I had long-term relationships with, but on the other hand, especially for guys it's a soul-shattering experience of being rejected ten times a day for weeks on end.


So really it's only different from regular dating in terms of bandwidth?


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## Freya (Feb 3, 2020)

online dating will make anyone who is not photogenic want to commit suicide


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## Lemmingwise (Feb 4, 2020)

Win98SE said:


> Tinder blew up the market and turned everything into an app for fucking. Years ago OkCupid was one of the better sites because they put a shitload of emphasis on writing a good profile and answering questions that would better match you with someone, but they removed a lot of that stuff because it was having the EXTREMELY PROBLEMATIC (!!!!!) effect of making sure no trans people would show up in your feed. Now they make you pay to filter out trans people IIRC. Regardless, the last time I used OkC it was basically the reject pile for the more modern and phone-only apps like Bumble or Tinder that just show you a pic and ask "Would you smash?"




Yes, there was a brief golden time of okcupid when it actually functioned like a digital cupid. It allowed me to find a girl who was like a female version of me. It was weird how many crucial things were identitical (unless you consider how their match % worked). We had a couple of the same friends without knowing too. Another reason okcupid worked well is that it didn't just have dating, but an entertaining quizzes area, that anyone could make some for. This gave people some plausible deniability "oh I'm just here for the tests heehee", which tends to be conducive to creating less of a pathetic atmosphere.

But then it got bought by the jews from match.com group, and they made sure that this app that was helping people find love became just another hookup app.


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## ZeCommissar (Feb 4, 2020)

I met my current GF using online dating. So far she's been the sweetest, kindest person I have been with so far in my life. However we haven't been dating for as long as my previous relationships so it still remains to be seen. Anyway, I was on the verge of deleting the app when I met her.

I was done swiping completely, and we had matched earlier so I wanted to see where the conversation would go before I would make a final decision and....well here I am. We are still feeling each other out within these first few months, so this could very well turn into a failure or more success next month if you're realistic about these things like I am. We both are looking to make it long term

Now I know this is anecdotal, and I know finding an actual functional human being is more of a outlier than anything else online. Online dating was indeed a soul crushing experience of bad dates, lack of messages, and the general autism that comes with online dating. I had one girl bring her 4 friends with her one time, and another told me she likes being punched in the face and physically abused during arguments. I had to sift through a lot of BS before I could find the person i'm with.

I personally would agree that finding someone using online dating is more of a miss than anything. I would also agree that the best way to start dating someone is through hobbies, social circles, and whatever else in real life.

The sad fact is a lot of young people even with decent social skills lack decent hobbies, social circles, or anything outside of work and college. It doesn't work for everyone. My only real advice is don't be desperate when you're trying to use online dating.


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## Surf and TERF (Feb 4, 2020)

I found my girlfriend through a dating app as well but it took years of mismatches before it worked. 

The thing is, I wouldn’t know where else to meet someone because I have very little time for hobbies and even then, those meetups consist of the same few people.


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## Win98SE (Feb 5, 2020)

Surf and TERF said:


> The thing is, I wouldn’t know where else to meet someone because I have very little time for hobbies and even then, those meetups consist of the same few people.



Unless your job specifically has you working around other people, it's very difficult to make new connections unless you're truly outgoing. If you're starting from scratch in a new city or something it's incredibly difficult to break the seal on finding a circle to run in. Social media only makes the situation worse IMO - apps like Bumble have a dating section in addition to a "friends" (I suspect this is mostly gay dudes TBH) and business section. I think it's interesting, but the regular dating side of Bumble is such dogshit I can't imagine getting anything meaningful out of the friend/business side, and even if I did make some kind of crazy business deal on there or something, I'd probably make them sign an NDA to never bring up where we connected.

Overall, I just get a weird feeling about the commoditization of connecting people via an algorithm. At its best it can be a little exciting, but at its worst it's just an unending cringe simulator.


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## Eto (Feb 5, 2020)

Online dating has its advantages, but it also has disadvantages. With dating online, you can potentially be more candid about things than you would in a real life situation, and you can find people with the same interests if you list it, or if you go to a niche dating site.

The bad thing is that, based off my experience, they can ghost you, or want to use you for alcohol if they’re on the younger side. Another thing is that there are _a lot _of people looking for either a friend, or for a third partner in their polyamorous relationship. Most dating sites have taken up the Tinder model, like OkCupid, where you have to swipe instead of messaging people.

Online dating has its merits, but it’s going to be harder, especially when you have sites following in Tinder’s lead. You’re probably better off going to a local meet-up, where you can size up someone and see if you resonate.

Oh, and I almost forgot. There are a lot, and I mean a lot, of single moms on dating apps. If her having a kid is fine with you, more power to you, but I’d rather not have someone who’s going to be distracted by a child.


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## soft breathing (Feb 5, 2020)

After reading this whole thread I am not exactly sad that I've been in the same relationship for longer than Tinder has been around. Online dating (and honestly dating in general) sounds so terribly stressful now. 

I wish all of you luck in finding your better halves tho - no matter if through dating apps or in Bars or wherever.

You can do it, Kiwis.


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## Smooth Calculator (Feb 5, 2020)

I tried a couple times but the whole experience jus seem uncomfortable for me so I stay away from it


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## Your Weird Fetish (Feb 5, 2020)

soft breathing said:


> After reading this whole thread I am not exactly sad that I've been in the same relationship for longer than Tinder has been around. Online dating (and honestly dating in general) sounds so terribly stressful now.
> 
> I wish all of you luck in finding your better halves tho - no matter if through dating apps or in Bars or wherever.
> 
> You can do it, Kiwis.


Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a qt gamer gurl gf that's into cosplaying as Kraid?


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## Ughubughughughughughghlug (Feb 7, 2020)

We need to bring back arranged marriages for us incels.


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## snailslime (Feb 7, 2020)

most dating apps are just hookup apps. you probably have a better chance of finding true love on maiotaku


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## FadeIntoBolivian (Feb 7, 2020)

I've had 1 longish term relationship (a year) that originated via online dating. For me, the ratio of time spent browsing to true benefit gained from doing so is astronomically lopsided and I imagine it is for many others, but I don't think it's totally pointless. I think the key is to just be realistic about things. In my city, there are a lot of really hot girls on Tinder. However, I'm not amazingly handsome/buff, and I'm on the below average side when it comes to career/financial achievement relative to my age. Therefore, just as in real life, there are not very many sexy 23 year old girls lining up to fuck me when they could very easily get someone with a more impressive window display, so to speak. Much as I wish it was the case, I don't expect very many matches on apps like Tinder because I know it's a complete buyers' market where success is totally based on what kind of superficial attributes you can effectively advertise. I'm a product with a niche market, essentially, so I just try to focus my efforts where I feel more confident they'll be rewarded and don't worry about the rest.

While I do think online has it's purposes, I've always had way more success when it came to meeting girls that I ended up actually really connecting with via school, classes, etc. It's gotta be by far the simplest way to put yourself in an environment with likeminded people - some of whom may be single, and end up liking you. The key thing is that it gives you many chances to make a positive impression on someone, and likewise get a sense of whether or not you want to bother finding out more about someone, vs a profile picture/description seen for 3 seconds being everything you have. The only downside is that unless you're full on Dennis from Always Sunny, joining a class specifically to try and get laid will always be sniffed out and end poorly, and there are only so many classes that one can pursue sincerely in one's life. 

I've seen work be successful, in a sense, for lots of people, but that shit almost always ends up making things awkward and I imagine if you have a job where you make a lot of money/have lots of benefits etc, if chasing tail is going to endanger that you'd need to be extra stupid to entertain the idea.


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## ⋖ cørdion ⋗ (Feb 12, 2020)

Surf and TERF said:


> I found my girlfriend through a dating app as well but it took years of mismatches before it worked.
> 
> The thing is, I wouldn’t know where else to meet someone because I have very little time for hobbies and even then, those meetups consist of the same few people.


This. Tinder isn't for dating, it's the normie's Discord/group chat/socializing space/digital "public area in which to meet new people".

The dating aspect is secondary, but really, why make friends if no hopes of coupling?


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## Fougaro (Feb 12, 2020)

Theoretically I'd say that online dating can work. Ironically however, I would consider the best place for online dating - at least from what I've seen - outside dating sites, since at the very least you will (mostly) avoid all the desperate roasties and creeps. Without going too much into specifics, I met my lady through online weebshit. At the moment of me writing this, I have no regrets.


Cactus Wings said:


> This. Tinder isn't for dating, it's the normie's Discord/group chat/socializing space/digital "public area in which to meet new people".


I'd consider Tinder to be more of a societal septic tank. If the creatures that congregate there won't convince you that even God makes mistakes, I don't know what will.


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## Your Weird Fetish (Feb 12, 2020)

Fougaro said:


> Without going too much into specifics, I met my lady through online weebshit. At the moment of me writing this, I have no regrets.


What if you want a lady without a penis though?


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## Fougaro (Feb 12, 2020)

Your Weird Fetish said:


> What if you want a lady without a penis though?




Good question. I'm afraid that's where my wisdom ends.


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## Argh My Cigar (Feb 12, 2020)

Yeah, I tried getting a few dates set up; most ended up just being awkward— a lot of girls venting about their job and whatever office politics were upsetting them while trying to score a free meal and some wine, and others I would seemingly get along great with, only to find out that they found me insufferable the entire time and were just being polite.

My co-worker managed to find someone through Tinder and he’s a short, nebbish Armenian boy. But he’s pretty interesting; he has aspirations to be a toy designer and actually interned with Hasbro. Really passionate guy.


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## Surf and TERF (Feb 14, 2020)

Argh My Cigar said:


> My co-worker managed to find someone through Tinder and he’s a short, nebbish Armenian boy. But he’s pretty interesting; he has aspirations to be a toy designer and actually interned with Hasbro. Really passionate guy.



I think one of the biggest issues is that there is a huge imbalance in libido. Men usually just want to fuck. Women are mostly looking for a relationship. I imagine it worked for your coworker because he is the right mix of disarmingly nerdy and competent. He sounds like he has other ambitions in life other than getting laid.

When I dated men through apps, almost every interaction felt like a ploy. Any interest in my personal life, every compliment, and every attempt to buy me something seemed more like an attempt to get laid than genuine kindness. Another thing that spoiled it was the anxiety over my safety. Even if they mean well, it's easy for guys to raise red flags without meaning to. I was always very uncomfortable if a man tried to buy me an overly expensive meal or invite me into his car on the first (or second) date. There's a lot of risk in meeting a strangers from the internet who can physically overpower you. You can't trust them that quickly.

(And to be honest, I’m not sure why men should be paying for everything either. I never let them buy anything more than a coffee and the women from my close friend group are the same. Pricy meals just made me feel guilty and manipulative.)

Take my insight with a grain of salt. I'm gay and I was still in the phase of believing it was a phase at the time I went on these dates. I did find a couple men who were genuinely good people but it simply didn't work because I wasn’t attracted to them.

Women who actually experience sexual attraction to men seem to have a better time, especially if they have no qualms about hooking up. I lived with a woman who fucked frequently and dated specifically for the financial benefits. She has cheated in every relationship I observed but still gained money, free meals, a car and a free trip to Mexico. I wouldn't be surprised if most of rare, horny women on those apps are also predatory in this way.


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## Celebrate Nite (Feb 17, 2020)

From my personal experience with online dating (I've been doing it for over a decade and majority of my past ex's are from online dating), if this was the mid 2000s I would say "yes, do online dating".  One of the good things about it is that it'll help you practice your social skills, even to the point where you become a talkative outgoing person.  In my 20's I NEVER liked being the talkative one and wanted someone who liked to ramble on about anything and nothing.  To this day, i still want that, but I have no problem if I'm the one doing the talking most of the time.  Communication is crucial, and when you find someone you can bounce back and forth with, it makes a good date into a great one.  If you've immediately hit it off via messaging/text/phone then even better.

Now, however, I wouldn't recommend it.  I certainly wouldn't discourage people from doing online dating, but I'd amend my support with a word of caution.  First, choosing the site you want to spend time on is in itself more of a hassle than it used to be.  Pay sites have the same amount of luck as free ones, even with the added perks.  On the plus side, if you're on something like Match and you don't find anything within 6 months, you get another 6 months free, so basically you're using a site for an entire year while only paying for only half of it (hopefully your situation is better than mine and it doesn't come to that point).  Like I'm sure others have mentioned on here, Tinder is a cess-pool, and in my opinion POF and OKCupid are not far behind it.  In fact, over the years, OKCupid had removed certain features just so they expect you to shill out some sheckles to get them back (basically they are trying to be Match.com).  Also some sites, especially ones that are just mobile apps, require a facebook account to log into it.  Personally I completely stay away from those like the plague.

When you finally find the site you want to spend your time (and money if it's a paid site) on, communicating with someone is the hardest part.  The reason why I began my post with "if this was the mid 2000s" is because back then, I was messaging all kinds of ladies and actually getting responses back, and with regards to free sites, you had a lot more "active" choices to choose from.  MyYearbook was one of those sites for me, until it re-branded to "MeetMe" and turned into utter dog shit and basically became a popularity contest of "hey, heres 50 people right off the gate as soon as you sign up that you can be friends with.  Some of them could be creeps/criminals, but who cares?  You want a lot of friends doncha?!?!".  If you're a guy, just immediately expect to be doing like 99.9% of the first messaging.  Very rarely will you get spontaneous messages from a chick that's genually interested in you, especially if you have a lot going on in your profile.  Speaking of which, even if you do have a nicely typed up profile detailing exactly what you want, just expect to repeat your answers.  Personally I don't have an issue with this because a lot of people have novels in their profiles but as soon as you message them they give you the one word/sentence treatment (or even if they message you first it's the same thing), so it's better when you can find someone that can not only talk-the-talk, but walk-the-walk as well.  For some reason a lot of people that do online dating have this "have my cake and eat it too" mentality of just making a profile and doing 0% of the actual leg work.  Also be prepared to get ghosted after the first date... a lot.  Even if you take them to the fanciest diner, pay for the meal (which you should always split the bill), and have the best conversation ever, there's still a 50% chance you will never see or hear from that person again.

The only reason why I still do online dating is because around my area, almost every chick likes to go to bars and drink themselves stupid.  I hate drunks, and can't stand to be near or around them.  I don't drink alcohol (its a personal choice, I just don't find anything appealing about it), so that scene is not my thing.  So I do online dating to find someone that likes the simpler things in life and can enjoy themselves without needing to get tanked all the time.


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## queerape (Feb 18, 2020)

Apps are too dependent on algorithms thanks to Tinder. They make so many assumptions that people don’t get to see so many possible matches. If only there were a turn algorithm off or algorithm free app that let you see all profiles based on specifics of age and location demographics you put in and you choose who you message, and let peoples on knowledge of themselves be the guide.


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## FadeIntoBolivian (Feb 19, 2020)

SSF2T Old User said:


> From my personal experience with online dating (I've been doing it for over a decade and majority of my past ex's are from online dating), if this was the mid 2000s I would say "yes, do online dating".



Damn dude I generally prefer to have a girlfriend if I can help it for a number of reasons but like.. 15 years of online dating, with enough ex's that you can say "a majority" when talking about  them. Sounds exhausting. I'd be thinking about just converting to some kind of fringe sect of jesus-based religion and marrying the first 7/10 church girl that wanted to settle down somewhere in Wyoming with me at that rate, or retreating to volunteer at a buddhist monastery for a year or two.


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## Celebrate Nite (Feb 19, 2020)

FadeIntoBolivian said:


> but like.. 15 years of online dating, with enough ex's that you can say "a majority" when talking about  them. Sounds exhausting.



That's putting it lightly.  I could write a book about my online dating/relationship experiences, and unfortunately it's more depressing than funny.

Most men these days would go "MGTOW" and just quit women all together if they were in my situation.  I get their reasons for doing so, but to me it's so dumb.  I realize that not all women are crazy, and the experience I gained from my past relationships help me weed out the crazies to find someone that's "somewhat" normal (and trust me, in NY, the majority ARE crazy, so the sea is more like a stagnant swamp).

Not to sound like a fag, but I love being in a relationship.  That feeling of being in love with a woman you find attractive and that you click with on a mental, emotional, and physical level is like 10x better than any videogame I've ever played.  So of course I'm more passionate about dating/relationships and put more effort into it than my hobbies.


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## Eclair's Shota Paradise (Mar 2, 2020)

In online dating? Yes. On dating sites? No idea. Ended up meeting my current partner in a skype fangroup for a videogame and hit it off. It's a more pathetic story than saying you met on a dating site, but it felt more like a natural friendship turned relationship progression instead of a Tinder match. It's the same way that happenstance meetings and speed dating have different connotations, since one's a happy accident and the other can be sometimes seen as desperate.


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## codeblue (Mar 9, 2020)

Online dating apps are the worst place to meet someone, when your competition is a swipe away it makes you look disposable to women, they'll dump you at their first whim or when they swipe someone else.

99% of dating is looks not personality or IQ and that's something you can't change, thus rejections aren't your fault, so why get upset over something that you can't change.


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## ⋖ cørdion ⋗ (Mar 10, 2020)

Thing is, people refer to relationships and experiences from the mid-00s when they think of internet dating. When people were excited just to be online let alone talk with people from across the world. People went to do what they wanted, as normal people do, which in turn would make them socialize with people who share the interest. When you're balls deep in a game with a bunch of online friends, you're infinitely more likely to accept them for who they are, and even date them in case of a game like WoW with a mass mainstream appeal.

Today, you got literally nothing in common but looks. All the succesful Tinder thots just have a link to their Instagram and a mix of 2-3 copy-pasted "quirk" bios from r/Tinder, because as we all know, Reddit is a small niche community nobody else knows. Okay, you're interested in one another, you match, but you got nothing but looks and the pursuit of love to talk about. That's why people ghost and conversations fall flat. Meanwhile, imagine you're into some niche shit like Dragonlance, and you meet someone into it on Tinder; bam. You can talk for hours on end.

You need constant exposure to people to develop interest and relations, and that's just not a thing anymore. Most of these "I met my wife on x" stories talk about games or forums. Both are completely ruined in this day and age. Matchmaking, anonymous teammates, muted all-chat, forums being replaced with minimalistic tablet designed platforms like Reddit. I've seen way more posts than healthy about people meeting on Twitter because they shyly like each other's very niche tweets that are in the lower end of interactions than meme reposts. That being a favorable way to interact says a lot about how shit the social situation is online.

Tinder only gets traction because it appeals to idiots who want to ride the high of being 'the popular one' from school without developing a personality or hobbies. You know, like the rest of us did when we spent our teens talking into the deep night with strangers about nothing and everything. They want it easy; they want it given to them because society says they deserve it. I can see Tinder being a good way to passively expose yourself to people, but at the same time, much like dating, it's an endless grind. Look up any infographic and you're likely to see 5 dates to every 1000 matches.

Normal dating sites I'd almost argue are fine, because even if you just answer 5 questions to see how alike you are in percentages, it implies something. I see this in video games like FFXIV too. You can write a very short biography text for when people inspect your character, and having that -at all- implies you want to socialize and put effort into it. You can't see  that on Tinder. Bios become a checklist of whether they like to party or not, simply because there's no way to tick boxes and blacklist accordingly.

I'm a firm believer that the internet is on a decline. We went from wanting to meet people from the other side of the world to wanting to meet literally anyone interested within real life reach. With Discords and subreddits and Twitter, you're overexposed to "socializing" yet get none of the benefits. Once people cut back on all this useless static, we might actually see people meet in niche areas of the internet and start dating based on interest as opposed to "pls match me I'm so lonely oh wait I have to put in effort?".


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## Lemmingwise (Mar 21, 2020)

Your Weird Fetish said:


> Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a qt gamer gurl gf that's into cosplaying as Kraid?





Your Weird Fetish said:


> What if you want a lady without a penis though?


Thats like shooting fish in a barrel. Not hard at all. Just go and recruit some from the trannymax pages on reddit or find your local antifa or communist group.


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## Rice Is Ready (Mar 21, 2020)

No the type of person you're going to find online is not the ideal mate. Plus you could get catfished. I used to catfish people all the time just to get them to say ridiculous things.


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## Sinner's Sandwich (Mar 21, 2020)

Ughubughughughughughghlug said:


> We need to bring back arranged marriages for us incels.



Good idea. Incels can marry all the troons.

Also online dating is great.


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## Guts Gets Some (May 12, 2020)

Pixy Misa said:


> There have been cases where online dating has been so successful, it has even lead to marriage. But overall it's a poor choice. You're seeing a catalogue of personas, not people.
> 
> For a successful long term relationship, you need to learn the nasty side of your partner. Those flaws we all have. It's very easy to show yourself as an "idealized" version of yourself and hide things that would destroy the relationship.
> 
> ...



Honestly, this is why I hate it. It's literally window-shopping and people desperate to showcase themselves at their best.

I've used it before and it was the biggest waste of time in my life. I never adopted these same strategies, but on top of that, the whole system is busted: women get overswamped and men are completely ignored, which only adds to the imbalance.

I'm not saying it's not viable, you can meet someone anywhere, but it's one of the worst options in my mind. It's like speed dating in real life, but even more worthless.

I say, the same way people have always met, even before technology, be places you *want* to be first, and you'll naturally meet like-minded people. And just maybe, there might be someone you already have that connection with who is so much more.
Online, I legit feel the closest analogue to this is forums. It's how you make the best friends and how you possibly meet the best partner online. And forums are dying out..... doesn't that explain just so much about why everyone is so desperate these days?

TINDR, FACEBOOK, CRAIGSLIST, OKCUPID, MATCH, bullshit like this is becoming people's go-to choice and they're so desperate for it, it's forced to boot; I can't think of a better combination to fail.


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## #zzz (May 15, 2020)

SSF2T Old User said:


> Most men these days would go "MGTOW" and just quit women all together if they were in my situation. I get their reasons for doing so, but to me it's so dumb. I realize that not all women are crazy, and the experience I gained from my past relationships help me weed out the crazies to find someone that's "somewhat" normal (and trust me, in NY, the majority ARE crazy, so the sea is more like a stagnant swamp).



I don't think it's unreasonable to simply give up on dating.  Some people just don't have the stamina to get emotionally fucked over repeatedly and keep getting back on the horse. Maybe it's never being taught how to look for the right people, poor life skills, maybe its emotional resilience.  Whatever it is, they are out of the running now.

In life there has to be losers for their to be winners.


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## 737 MAX Stan Account (May 15, 2020)

It exists to give us moments like this.


			https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H_QLofHLlNw


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## murgatroid (May 15, 2020)

Don't believe in online dating at all. You can be a perfect match with someone "on paper" and be completely incompatible in person.

The best dating method is to kidnap at gunpoint and threaten if they try to leave. Works almost all of the time.


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## Deckyleaf (May 15, 2020)

I view online dating as an outgrowth of declining community bonds and increased urbanisation/individualism. Hundreds of years ago nearly all marriages were arranged, but even then you'd likely be marrying your next door neighbour or someone in your general vicinity. I imagine such a system was likely soul-crushing for a lot of folks who never got the chance to explore their sexuality and meet the loves of their lives, though it did connect families together for generations and brought about a sense of kinship given that nearly everyone was related in some way. In religious, rural communities dating still largely functions this way.

Even up until very recently most marriages were set up by friends and family, though not in the same way. There wasn't a huge dating pool so people tended to marry the best suited person as it was unlikely they could go somewhere else to find love/sex. However people have largely gotten less and less connected since the 21st century. Families have gotten smaller, very few live with their non-immediate relatives and going out and exploring the world has only gotten easier. With the vast availability of easy sex and the pornification of everything there isn't the massive incentive to marry and build a family like there used to be. Because of this and how ubiquitous the Internet is it only makes sense to use the web to find someone, especially if you're stuck in a shite area with no suitable partners. It also gives an excuse to avoid putting yourself out there irl and face rejection. I don't know about y'all but getting rejected by a stranger online is far easier than approaching a crush and getting denied.


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## TheRatcatcher (May 17, 2020)

You're much better off finding someone in a social setting than trying to meet someone off of the internet. Far too many internet horror stories dissuade me from ever attempting to pursue online dating.


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## DocHoliday1977 (May 17, 2020)

No. 
I'm done with dating and relationships.


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## eeeeeeeeeeeee diot (May 17, 2020)

I think it really depends on the people you meet and find, like regular dating. Dating apps seem to be a bit shallow in my eyes, where people post the best pictures of themselves and write quirky, funny one-liners to try and show that they're interesting, but I'll admit that there can be good relationships that form between people from Tinder. I think it's better for hookups and not for deep relationships, though. 

Online dating is pretty good, though. Unless you're some e-thot posting selfies and another e-thot DMs you on Instagram or something, I think you focus more on the person's personality and interests rather than impressing them and being qUiRkY. After all, you usually start out as friends and develop into a couple, if you're both interested in each other. But, like I said, I think it depends on the person, but the Internet makes people brave to be themselves, for good or for worst. It's hard, though, seeing as they start out as long-distance, and god damn long-distance relationships are hard as FUCK. You need a lot of trust and communication if you want to get into one, and a lot of dedication to your significant other.

Obviously, I don't think they both are as good or even better than meeting someone and dating them in person, but what do I know about that?


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## Heartmoth (May 17, 2020)

Online dating is good because it makes you appreciate meeting people in real life after going through the shitshow of swipe bs


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## King Daddy Telomerase (May 17, 2020)

Yes, if you're female or the top 30% of male looks. You can easily find people interested in dating and fucking you.

If not, it's a great tool to drive yourself to isolation and suicide.


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## Guts Gets Some (Jun 4, 2020)

SomeCybranCommander said:


> You're much better off finding someone in a social setting than trying to meet someone off of the internet. Far too many internet horror stories dissuade me from ever attempting to pursue online dating.



You should never let someone *else's *experiences sabotage your own. You'll never experience or learn anything.


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## TitanWest (Jun 4, 2020)

Online interactions are inherently anti-social and often bring out the worst in people. Face-to-face is underrated. Meet people via hobbies/interests, your church, work, friend circle, etc.


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## Guts Gets Some (Jun 5, 2020)

TitanWest said:


> Meet people via hobbies/interests, your church, work, friend circle, etc.



This is not strictly limited to offline only.


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## bothiggedyhog (Jun 7, 2020)

I'd say nope in general
But if you're desperate (and semi attractive) or just looking for a sidepiece, and willing to swipe through and meet about 1000 walking piles of shit, you might just find someone decent, who like you also has no idea how to interact with people outside of the internet.
However if you are a woman be prepared to get molested a couple times first, and if you're a dude be prepared for imminent rejection


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## Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost (Jun 8, 2020)

Your better off honestly picking a hobby that has a higher female to male ratio and meeting people the old fashioned way. 

I hate clubbing, and I dislike online dating but I've found I've had good success before with just randomly meeting people through social hobbies like jive and swing dancing. Best ways you meet interesting people and potentially widen your dating pool through common interests. Worst ways you improve a new hobby and get to work on some social skills in the meantime.


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## (((Oban Lazcano Kamz))) (Jun 8, 2020)

yes


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## Consenticles (Jun 8, 2020)

Met my spouse online. We are both freaks so it worked out. 

The first year is do able with long distance, but things can get tense if you are far away and can only meet up once or twice a year.  

I recommend identifying the limit of how far you are comfortable with travelling, financially and time-wise. Then start looking. It doesnt have to be a dating site. In fact, if you go into it looking for a relationship vs a friendship, you might not have great luck. 

Games you like playing, forums you enjoy browsing, those are good places to find someone where you can connect with someone beyond the need to fuck. I'm not saying post a dating thread on KF, but if you really hit it off with someone and find they are the opposite sex/single, move discussion to another platform like discord or Skype. 

Dont go looking for your future spouse. Let it happen. But at the same time perhaps be a bit more open to engaging with others.


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## Shadfan666xxx000 (Jun 10, 2020)

Guts Gets Some said:


> You should never let someone *else's *experiences sabotage your own. You'll never experience or learn anything.


This. Any advice that goes beyond how to do it and instead tries to steer you down another path is bullshit.


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## Hazel Motes (Jun 10, 2020)

I tend to do better with people offline than I do online. I find texting back and forth a hassle. It's like playing tennis, it tires me out so I sound apathetic privately messaging people. But with talking face to face, I'm upfront, honest, and I don't have nervous issues. I'm not gonna say I'm anything to look at but I think personality can go a long way with the right woman and mine usually holds peoples interests. It all depends on you if online dating will work or not. I do think having a hobby or you know, a church is the best option though.


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## Lord of the Large Pants (Jun 14, 2020)

So between Corona-chan and major cities being on fire, is this the best or worst time to try online dating?

Asking for a friend.


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## Harbinger of Kali Yuga (Jun 14, 2020)

soft breathing said:


> After reading this whole thread I am not exactly sad that I've been in the same relationship for longer than Tinder has been around. Online dating (and honestly dating in general) sounds so terribly stressful now.
> 
> I wish all of you luck in finding your better halves tho - no matter if through dating apps or in Bars or wherever.
> 
> You can do it, Kiwis.


no i can't


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## LargeChoonger (Jun 14, 2020)

Depends. Are you an antisocial sperg that likes gambling? If yes to all, then go for it


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## King Daddy Telomerase (Jun 14, 2020)

Yes. 

If you're a female, you'll get showered in validation and should find a hot guy fairly quickly.

If you're a hot guy, you'll get tons of women to have casual sex with you.

If you're a bottom 80% in looks guy, it's a great way to climb that final hurdle to suicide.


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## Van Darkholme (Jun 14, 2020)

I didn't start until ten years ago, and so far all the women I met except for the current and previous one were straight out of hell. The second women I met turned me away from the whole online dating thing for about six years, that's how bad it was.

The worst one was the self-absorbed slightly chubby "folk rock" (in my defense: she used the popular "fat girl angle shot" in her pictures and fooled me with it) and other similar shitty music loving one, constantly telling me about how she knows and met whatever guy from whatever shitty band she likes. I guess she expected me to be jealous of her connections and stroke her ego or whatever, but I wasn't and I didn't feel a thing for her and we had nothing in common. Still met her three times before calling it quits. She actually contacted me first and seemed a lot more interesting in her messages. A horrible experience all around.

Tinder is a shitshow, especially as a man. Unless you look at least 7/10, don't bother using it just to find a quick fuck, just get yourself a hooker.

Can online dating work? Probably, but be prepared for a lot of frustration, especially if you aren't rich or good looking or both. You will always be judged by how you look, that's just how the whole system works.


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## JamusActimus (Jun 14, 2020)

the system is biased towards womens and eve n3/10 girl get a ton of simps giving her compliments and attention


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## ⋖ cørdion ⋗ (Jun 14, 2020)

JeanActimel said:


> the system is biased towards womens and eve n3/10 girl get a ton of simps giving her compliments and attention


But at the same time, embrace being a fat, hairy "Daddy" and you get equal amounts of attention (and money) by being a gay dude.

Honestly at this point I wouldn't even want to return the attention I was given by a girl if not completely isolated and alone. I remember having to basically chase after a few people in my dedicated community servers in my teens to get any attention just for the sake of friends. To imagine that shit, but wanting to also be romantic, as they're already stringing along a few other guys? Fuck that.

At least on actual dating sites you start out with immediate romantic interest, because nobody goes to dating sites to make friends. You do play games to make friends however, so if you actually get along, chances are you'll never reach into romance. That's why Chad ends up with the girl; he goes all-out romance from the start, and it either works or doesn't.


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## The Ghost Of George Floyd (Jun 14, 2020)

I've been on my fair share of dates from women I've met on dating sites, only one was any good and the relationship only lasted for a couple months. I've found better women in places I wasn't even going to for dating, the only good thing about dating sites is that they set you up with people who live somewhere near you. It sucks but the people you're gonna click best with are always going to be in places you frequent out of interest for a topic or hobby since the people there will be able to understand and relate to you better.

Just to clarify, you shouldn't be using places to discuss hobbies and the like to pick up women. My point is that they're the places you're most likely to run into someone you like and who will like you back. This might sound like an incel talking point but as a man, you're probably not going to be very successful on dating sites unless you're an 8 or up since it's full of people shopping while hungry and your pics will be placed directly next to people more attractive than you and bios just aren't that important to people. So yeah, online dating is pretty shit but you're bound to get lucky if you keep at it, I recommend never getting into a LDR though because those things never fucking work out unless you can arrange moving in together or close to each other after knowing each other as a friends for a long time who want to take it to the next level.

btw I'm taking girlfriend applications, slide into my DMs if you like anime plz


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## Harbinger of Kali Yuga (Jun 14, 2020)

Date-able women barely even exist these days as today they're all literal communists or high on validation men are showering on them.


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## Fandom Trash (Jun 15, 2020)

I'd like to date, but I'm a bit anxious taking the first step. Plus all the horror stories you hear from those who have tried it and had not much luck.

Even from people I know had varying results, mostly leading to hookups or frizzled relationships.

I'm curious though, for those who said they had met their current significant other through hobbysites, how did that happen? Like for online dating sites such as Tinder or OkCupid, I know what I'm getting into, but for something like say discord or even a forum, how did the dating aspect come to fruition?

Did you both casually mention you're single and just decided to date? That's such a cool way to meet someone.


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## Basement Dwelling Dork (Jun 18, 2020)

Lord of the Large Pants said:


> So between Corona-chan and major cities being on fire, is this the best or worst time to try online dating?
> 
> Asking for a friend.


I'd say the best time for online dating is the ones with the major cities that are on fire. Just lie about hating whites and cops and *BAM *instant pussy.
Although I can't garunetee that they won't have the corona-chan inside them already.


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## Dread First (Jun 19, 2020)

Online dating just doesn't do it for me. I just love being in a relaxed social setting and just being able to talk to the people that are around me. I've made lifelong friends just by sitting down and talking to the people next to me in the college cafe, concert hall bars, and that kind of thing.

There's really no good way to get that kind of experience with any online dating app/site.


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## -4ZURE- (Jun 19, 2020)

I saw the title, and all I could think of was this IFunny post


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## Fanatical Pragmatist (Jun 19, 2020)

Tinder sux.
Just pick up girls IRL. It's so much easier.

Living in [PowerLevel City] I tried Tinder and got about 1 match for every 50 right swipes. By contrast there was a cafe in town where I was 3 successful attempts, 1 rejection and 1 situation where I decided she was horrible and ended the convo on my own. 
Cafes, bars, cafes, parks, cafes, Target, cafes, Trader Joe's and cafes.


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