Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[FightenGnome]

From what I know, high school was peak for Chris because of all those girls that would take pity on him and hang around. Now he’s in hell (Baator, not the Abyss).

Exactly. The only thing High School provided Chris was a bountiful supply of women to surround him. His school work was abysmal and he clearly learned nothing from academics to social interactions to sports in his time there. When most guys look back on their high school and/or college years with Nostalgia, that may be a small part but most of the time you think of the moments you had with your friends, some stories, maybe a girlfriend, what you learned, the teachers etc. Even an extra-curricular activity like Chris' waterboy thing should bring back some fond memories working with Joseph and the basketball team.

Instead, Chris' fondest memories come from lunch time with the gal-pals, his 18th birthday party, the creation of Sonichu and Bionic and dancing with Tiffany at his prom. I guess waking up in the morning too at times. Everything else is either forgotten about, actually a source of pain (short bus situation, Graduation, seeing a gal-pal's boyfriend, etc.) or fantasy (Thinking he could bang one of the multiple girls in his save a retard friendship circle). That's it, that was his "peak" in his mind. Having a "help the wallflower get out of his shell" pity dance with a girl who would later pat him on the shoulder for crying like a baby for not getting his art award.

Forget the "I wonder what Megan thinks" questions, I want to know what Tiffany thinks. "Did you realize 20+ years ago that you asking Chris to dance with you (and presumably your friends) would be considered the happiest moment of his life?"

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I think the apparently schitzo shit is basically just the usual wish fulfilment nonsense from Chris dialled up to 11.

His begging for donations, asking for a people to write to the governor to get him a letter of pardon make me think he is still lucid and focused on what he wants. Money, toys and to be able to get out of prison. Really, the letter is quite organised into it's various sections, he hits topics largely in order and goes point by point, does not seem confused or disorganised at all actually - if you strip out all the dimensional merge coping from Chris, it expresses the desires most inmates would have.

I don't think he's lost it beyond what he already had, maybe it's accelerated it a bit.

 

[Trombonista]

@Brad Watson_Miami has a new challenger.

 

[nhocgreen]

I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many good Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this Jail of Fail.

Now this section here...Is he talking about his imaginary friends? Or did he actually mean some people he met while in jail? Also last I heard, he wasn’t in jail anymore but a facility for mental evaluation, as requested by his lawyer, right?

 

[SuperMode]

IDK why Chris is hating prison so much. From what I hear from my neighbor who did a few stints in the clink, it's just like high school, except no girls. Chris' peak was high school, he should be happy to be there.

Its full of jerkops, janecops, and niggos

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Chris should consider himself lucky
If he would have pulled this shit 30-40 years earlier he would get zapped to the extreme in other ways

Ironically that was what Borb thought would happen to him if they sought help for his mental issues, a mindset which became the root cause for everything as Chris could’ve been somewhat “fixed” if he had just gotten the help he needed.

 

[Linako 2.0]

Imagine what would happen if you fed one of those AI story-generating bots 40,000 hours of Chris' ramblings.

We wouldn't need Temple OS to talk to God anymore

 

[Br0th3rM4g00]

Nothing really new to say, just Chris repeating more of what was already said except it's addressed to Kengle. I assume it's because Kengle is probably one of the only people in the world who would actually bother to write back.



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Why is the update thread locked out?

 

[Look over there]

Haven't read all the thread yet, but anyone spot this from the transcript?

" I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good, alongside Many good Angels, Spirits, and OP allies in and around this Jail of Fail"

He's already taking it up the poop chute for his safety

Edit: yep, like two posts ahead of where I was up to. Whoops

 

[You Dun Boof’ed]

Wait. Temporary Soul Partner? That’s protecting him from abuse?

Prison Daddy confirmed?

 

[Jacob]

Now this section here...Is he talking about his imaginary friends? Or did he actually mean some people he met while in jail? Also last I heard, he wasn’t in jail anymore but a facility for mental evaluation, as requested by his lawyer, right?

There's been some speculation as to who it is throughout the thread. General consensus is that it's either imaginary friends or another insane tranny he happened to meet in jail.

A few people have also raised the possibility of it being Randy Stair/"Andrew Blaze", which I think is actually the case. I believe the wording he used (talking about fire, "remember her", "repentance tour") were meant to be hints in a similar manner to how he threw in a bunch of hints to Barb's identity when talking to Null about his "lady friend".

In fact, in this video where he LARPs as Randy, Chris actually says the following at the end:

Maybe I'll come visit is- Maybe I'll come visit remember- when we're in the group- we're on tour or something, alright?

Talks about going on tour and makes an incredibly forced "remember" reference, just like in the jail letter.

If this theory is correct, it also means both assumptions are right: it's an imaginary friend and a fellow psycho troon.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Forget the "I wonder what Megan thinks" questions, I want to know what Tiffany thinks. "Did you realize 20+ years ago that you asking Chris to dance with you (and presumably your friends) would be considered the happiest moment of his life?"

I'd Imagine if one were to ask her that, Tiffany would feel dirty, but she still wouldn't feel sympathy towards Chris.

Ironically that was what Borb thought would happen to him if they sought help for his mental issues, a mindset which became the root cause for everything as Chris could’ve been somewhat “fixed” if he had just gotten the help he needed.

Bob must be face palming up in heaven, and I don't know how Barb must be feeling, but I assume it's some type of regret, or at least peace at the moment that she doesn't have to deal with Chris' autistic antics.

 

[Sasha]

My understanding of no contact is NO contact. ZERO contact. Not even contact by proxy. Or by you sending other people to talk to said person. It’s as if you’re not to acknowledge they are there.

Yeah, and especially the way he writes it, with the temple bullshit, cops are gonna believe he's actually inviting a ring of creepy gerontophiles to come and rape Barb.

 

[Reverend]

Bob must be face palming up in heaven, and I don't know how Barb must be feeling, but I assume it's some type of regret, or at least peace at the moment that she doesn't have to deal with Chris' autistic antics.

Bob's glad he's dead so he doesn't have to deal with this shit anymore.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Bob must be face palming up in heaven, and I don't know how Barb must be feeling, but I assume it's some type of regret, or at least peace at the moment that she doesn't have to deal with Chris' autistic antics.

All I know is that if indeed there is an afterlife, Bob’s in his own hell even if he is in heaven. Imagine looking down from the clouds and witnessing your son raping your widow/his mother and bragging about how he’s better in bed than you.

 

[Pappy Striderite]

A few people have also raised the possibility of it being Randy Stair/"Andrew Blaze", which I think is actually the case. I believe the wording he used (talking about fire, "remember her", "repentance tour")

oh SHIT! 'tour'... yeah, wasn't randy's fictive/OC/trans-goal a rock star ?

---

He's already taking it up the poop chute for his safety

and he goes to commissary with a long list of requests from his guardians.

 

[kobebyarlant]

I always assumed an extended stay in prison would result in an angry torrent of letters from Chris about horribly treated he is without his toys or McDonald’s. Him being relatively calm because he’s declared himself as being Jesus Christ reincarnated is not the midseason twist I expected.

 

[Jacob]

oh SHIT! 'tour'... yeah, wasn't randy's fictive/OC/trans-goal a rock star ?

Yeah, his entire cast of OCs (including the one he expected to reincarnate as) were basically just recolors of a Danny Phantom villain who was a rock star.

Speaking of which, while I don't think it's as damning as the other hints I mentioned in my post, Danny Phantom was among the characters/franchises Chris name-dropped earlier in the letter when talking about the merge. Not really compelling on its own since he brought up a lot of shit he doesn't normally talk about, but it's eyebrow raising when coupled with the comment about his "holy flame".

 

[Vamp Soulja]

List of CWC's past lives (UPDATED 2021):
1. A lesbian who went to woodstock in the 70s
2. Jesus Christ

 

[Jacob]

List of CWC's past lives (UPDATED 2021):
1. A lesbian who went to woodstock in the 70s
2. Jesus Christ

Don't forget the Ancient Cherokian Leader.