- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
aww, it looks like kurt cobains suicide note.
Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread
- Thread starter Epic Fail Man
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2021
>The psych councillor looks at the drooling potato before him, sitting there, covered in bruises, with a glazed look over his eyes, occasionally shrieking in pain and confusion
>The councillor pulls up the vegetable's medical history, scans it over, and spots something unusual. Muttering aloud "high functioning? that ain't right. Definitely low functioning." Then crosses it out and pencils in his correction.
>Looking down at the document, he is completely oblivious as the patient's eyes momentarily flicker to life and glare with hatred at the doctor, before slowly glazing over again, as he imagines torturing the doctor to death with power drills in a colorful sunday morning cartoon, surrounded by naked hedgehog-woman sex slaves.
The Venerable Sneed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2021
One day I hope his writings will become the Gospel of Chris
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2019
Smells Like Ween Spirit
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
Heart Shaped Barb
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Because prison has first dibs on his pasty white ass.
He's not in a coma in the infirmary, so I think it's possible he hasn't even interacted with any other prisoners up close.
Don't even have to change Rape Me.
Phalanges Mycologist
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2021
Cum in my Mum, as I will
As I want Her to be
As a Mum, as a Galpal
As an old Jully
Take your time, I gota hurry up
Choice is mine, don't be late
Take a rape as a galpal
As an old dusty cooch
Dementia, Dementia
Dementia, Dementia
Come doused in Navy, soaked in sonicspunk
As I want you to be
As a troll, as a galpal
As an old dusty cooch
Dementia, Dementia
Dementia, Dementia
And I swear that I don't have a pickle
No, I don't have a pickle
No, I don't have a pickle
Dementia, Dementia
Dementia, Dementia
(No I don't have a duck)
And I swear that I won't write the gunt
No I wont write the gunt
No I wont write the gunt
No I wont write the gunt
No I wont write the gunt
From the Album, Nomind
Artist: Christian and the Hedgehog Boys (Grunge era)
Last edited:
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
The Long Walk To Fanta
- Joined
- May 7, 2018
This is very funny, but I also hate you for making this.
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2016
1. I would like to know who is sending a mother raping psycho stuff.
2. Is he going to be allowed back at the house to do this again?
2. Is he going to be allowed back at the house to do this again?
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2018
I assume this "Soul Partner" is his cellmate. Not mentioning the name could be a sign that he learns about snitching the hard way.
cursed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2017
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2016
His soul partner was probably a black man named Fleazel. Chris probably tried to fashion his greasy locs into an afro with disastrous results.
Phalanges Mycologist
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2021
He most likely did.
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2014
I doubt Chrissichu will be getting into supermax with Jamal.
The worst I think he'll encounter is redneck metheads.
The medallion is MINE!- Early Cuyler wrestling with Chris over a broken dildo necklace.
The worst I think he'll encounter is redneck metheads.
The medallion is MINE!- Early Cuyler wrestling with Chris over a broken dildo necklace.
W-I-Z
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2021
Late to the thread, but there's at least one correlation between Jesus and Chris - appearance aside.
They're both delusional.
They're both delusional.
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2016
Probably a Book of Mormon Cherokee.
- Joined
- May 27, 2021
The Randy Stair theory is actually quite convincing, given the past clues he'd given.
That sound a bit crazy, sure.
But when I wonder if a theory is too far fetched, I remember that this god-forsaken animal practiced cunnilingus on his putrescent mother. And he said that he was good at it.
(When he said that he was in fact better than his daddy, he at least had the decency to call him " Mr. C ")
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
You're thinking of "Son of Sam" laws (named after the pseudonym of the serial killer you're thinking of), and they applied even after the sentence had been completed. These were ruled unconstitutional by SCOTUS and various state courts, and while they are still on the books in most states, they are gradually being replaced with laws that notify the victims of the crime of the criminal's income in general, thus giving the option to file a civil suit against the criminal to try to claim damages (notably these damages come from all of the defendant's assets, and are not specifically tied to the biographical royalties)
In Virginia's case the relevant law is still on the books ( § 19.2-368.20 ) but given how similar it is to laws that have been struck down by courts in the past, it would probably not pass muster if challenged -- consequently it's not really used except as a threat.
i.e. the government can't take your book deal money anymore, but as long as it's with the statute of limitations, the victims can still sue you as compensation for how you hurt them. Thus the backdoor notification laws, many of which extend the statute of limitations to something like 10 years after completing your sentence. In this case Barb would have to sue (or if she died, her heir could sue Chris -- I guess that would be Cole). Not sure if either Barb or Cole really are motivated to sue Chris if he got a book deal. Cole might just out of spite.
In the case of Virginia, there has been no replacement backdoor law extending the statute of limitations, which for civil suits is currently set to 2 years from the date of the crime (tolled until the victim is 18 if the victim was under 18 at the time).
So under current law Chris could get a book deal a bit under 2 years from now and keep the money. If the state tried to seize it under their old law it would probably get struck down fairly quickly.
Loli Hillary, probably.
That's not fair, Chris has single-handedly lifted a doghouse that weighed between 5-10 tons. Also, pulling weeds can build up quite a sweat.
Though I'd argue that Chris breaks a sweat just sitting around when it isn't winter.
I checked and according to the constitution of Virginia, you're right, you *do* have to be convicted before you can be pardoned. Interestingly, the US constitution does not have this stipulation so if Chris were up for a federal crime, he could be preemptively pardoned.
Of course Chris doesn't understand any of this, and that Biden doesn't have to power to pardon him for a state crime.
You don't even have to be loyal to Chris, he just has to like you. Bella was blatantly disloyal and as hard as Null tried to explain that, Chris still liked Bella (as she had china) so she was "loyal". If you're a girl all you have to do to stay in Chris' good graces is to call him on the phone.
That said I wonder how much hate Chris will have to some girls now that it's difficult for him to receive phone calls.
I mean, all religion is basically cope. We can't wholly confront the universe or our own mortality, so we cope. The difference with Chris is that like a small child he always has to be the protagonist, and he doesn't have the humility to be a mere follower, therefore he must be a deity.
As has been said many times, the prosecutor has the authority to decide which crimes they prosecute and which they don't. Even if they never do anything to find Barb incompetent (probably as part of a plea deal to keep Chris of the sex offender registry -- since if Barb is found to be unable to consent then Chris *must* register), the prosecutor is under no obligation to also prosecute Barb -- he only has the *option*.
The ability to not bring charges is instrumental to the entire American justice system -- the vast majority of deals involve the prosecution deciding not to prosecute crimes that they would otherwise be able to.
Theoretically a prosecutor can decide to just not charge anyone with a crime and have a Purge, though this would almost immediately result in their dismissal and their replacement with someone who would then go back and charge everyone for crimes that had not yet had their statute of limitations expiration.
Virginia is kind of unique in that they have no statute of limitations on any felonies -- corrupt prosecutors sometimes abuse this as a sword they can hang over peoples heads. If you're not let off the hook in a formal deal, they can come after you for the rest of your life.
For the umpteenth time -- this is not going to trial. The prosecution pretty much never wants a trial except in the most heinous of cases, which as gross as Chris is, this is not. Trials cost money, time, and generate publicity that may not be wanted for the county. The defense does not want to go to trial in cases like this since there is doubtless overwhelming evidence against Chris.
The only way this goes to trial is if Chris builds up enough tard rage to actually have enough of a spine to order his lawyer to demand a trial. While Chris may fantasize about a trial, and is terrible about following advice and keeping his promises, he is very compliant when someone is right there telling him what to do -- he will sign the paperwork and plead guilty at the hearing if his attorney is firm enough. He may change his mind an hour later, but by then it's too late. All his attorney has to do is be there and actively tard wrangle when any important decision has to be made.
Sadly, I do not have much hope for Chris going to an institution. The state does *not* want to pay for that and will do whatever they can to avoid that happening unless they choose to actively have mercy. This is a shame as an institution is where Chris really belongs, not prison.
Q_Anon1001
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2021
Randy Stair Theory? I figured most people already knew he would larp with Espeon about fighting interdimensional battles with Stair's spirit ghost or whatever