Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Fialovy]

I think he has said recently that he drinks Bang energy drinks.

Just what Jack needs for his already abused cardiovascular system...

 

[curbside]

I think he has said recently that he drinks Bang energy drinks.

I've had one before. They taste like shit people make for trendy dares. Overly sweet and too much caffeine. Not something you should drink daily.

 

[JackIsBlack]

If he’s consuming energy drinks and possibly coffee as well since Tammy mentioned Halloween affiliated coffee in the ALDI video, then this nigga will be in the ground by Christmas.

 

[Tingle]

I thought those canisters with the red lids at first were red tabs, and almost had a stroke thinking that Senior was still drinking energy drinks… but 5 canisters of whipped cream might be just as bad (although whipped cream is not as damaging to your health as you may think). Who in their right goddamn mind needs 5+ whipped cream canisters at once?!! Does he think the whipped cream apocalypse is upon us as written in the book of Jack 80:08135? Do Tammy and Senior get kinky with whipped cream in the bedroom? Find out next time on the climactic conclusion of Dragon Ball REEEEEEE.

I haven’t finished the video yet but you can’t tell me with a straight face that mixing all that “seasoning” together is not going to make all his ripped jean wearing churchgoers kneel beside whatever toilet is available. This man is legit Willy Wonka’ing some ribs like that candy that has every single flavor known to mankind. Why wouldn’t you just make neutral food so everyone can enjoy? Probably because he wants them all to himself, that gluttonous douche.

They keep whipped cream in the bedroom but that's just so Jack always has a midnight snack ready.

 

[DX10]

I've had one before. They taste like shit people make for trendy dares. Overly sweet and too much caffeine. Not something you should drink daily.

Agreed. I can't see the value in drinking a fucking 300mg caffeine drink when the maximum suggested dose a day is 400mg. Drink a coffee, tea, soda or even eat some chocolate later on in the day without thinking and you're gonna be tweaking and start feeling fucking gross. I've drank those 200mg Rockstars they do a couple times when on long projects and it's fucked me up in the long run, and I have a higher than average tolerance to caffeine. That much in one serving is just not good for your body period.

 

[Internet Bamboon Research]

I get a Mersh vibe from Jack for some reason. I can't quite put my finger on why this is.

He's not an "edgy" guy like Mersh, he has a wife and kid and what seems like a decently successful business selling his sauces and product placements like the Nu Wave.

Is it that he's not really passionate about what he's doing so it's all a little forced?

 

[rubytintedchix]

I thought those canisters with the red lids at first were red tabs, and almost had a stroke thinking that Senior was still drinking energy drinks… but 5 canisters of whipped cream might be just as bad (although whipped cream is not as damaging to your health as you may think). Who in their right goddamn mind needs 5+ whipped cream canisters at once?!! Does he think the whipped cream apocalypse is upon us as written in the book of Jack 80:08135? Do Tammy and Senior get kinky with whipped cream in the bedroom? Find out next time on the climactic conclusion of Dragon Ball REEEEEEE.

I haven’t finished the video yet but you can’t tell me with a straight face that mixing all that “seasoning” together is not going to make all his ripped jean wearing churchgoers kneel beside whatever toilet is available. This man is legit Willy Wonka’ing some ribs like that candy that has every single flavor known to mankind. Why wouldn’t you just make neutral food so everyone can enjoy? Probably because he wants them all to himself, that gluttonous douche.

Cans of whipped cream for Jim Traynor confirmed.

Not to derail the thread by going back in time, but did you guys catch in the Aldi video the small moment of self reflection with Jack in the Aldi video? I had to play it a few times and eventually turn on the Closed Captioning but he says something like this…time stamp 9:36 in that video.

“It says limited time, they’re Aldi finds. Here today gone tomorrow. That’s their slogan. It’s a little crazy guys. This whole Aldi thing. I’m not sure if I’m doing any (maybe he said many) more videos. Probably will.” (Then Tammy brings over the Halloween coffee and his attention is drawn away)

Does he mean videos in general or videos about Aldi?

 

[Dondeld Dock]

Cans of whipped cream for Jim Traynor confirmed.

Not to derail the thread by going back in time, but did you guys catch in the Aldi video the small moment of self reflection with Jack in the Aldi video? I had to play it a few times and eventually turn on the Closed Captioning but he says something like this…time stamp 9:36 in that video.

“It says limited time, they’re Aldi finds. Here today gone tomorrow. That’s their slogan. It’s a little crazy guys. This whole Aldi thing. I’m not sure if I’m doing any (maybe he said many) more videos. Probably will.” (Then Tammy brings over the Halloween coffee and his attention is drawn away)

Does he mean videos in general or videos about Aldi?

Damn. If he is speaking of stopping making videos in general, the question is, do we see the end of the Jack's YouTube career (not that it is not already dead) before his third stroke? I somehow did not see this possibility coming.

 

[desudesu]

I thought those canisters with the red lids at first were red tabs, and almost had a stroke thinking that Senior was still drinking energy drinks… but 5 canisters of whipped cream might be just as bad (although whipped cream is not as damaging to your health as you may think). Who in their right goddamn mind needs 5+ whipped cream canisters at once?!! Does he think the whipped cream apocalypse is upon us as written in the book of Jack 80:08135? Do Tammy and Senior get kinky with whipped cream in the bedroom? Find out next time on the climactic conclusion of Dragon Ball REEEEEEE.

I haven’t finished the video yet but you can’t tell me with a straight face that mixing all that “seasoning” together is not going to make all his ripped jean wearing churchgoers kneel beside whatever toilet is available. This man is legit Willy Wonka’ing some ribs like that candy that has every single flavor known to mankind. Why wouldn’t you just make neutral food so everyone can enjoy? Probably because he wants them all to himself, that gluttonous douche.

Cans of whipped cream, the jars of syrup on the counter (with the level of contents decreasing with every video), the wall of coffee pods. You do the math.

This is coming from the same fat fuck who said "coffee caused his stroke".

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

If he’s consuming energy drinks and possibly coffee as well since Tammy mentioned Halloween affiliated coffee in the ALDI video, then this nigga will be in the ground by Christmas.

I cant really imagine he can last much longer. He is an absolute trainwreck healthwise. It can pretty much end any second now , he looks like shit and with that mushy brain he makes the zombies in day of the dead look healthy in comparison. It could very well be the christmas gorging that ends it .

 

[densedance]

I am also surprised they would allow Jack to prepare anything. Aren't they afraid of eating undercooked pork and all of the cross contamination?

I doubt they would say anything & even if they do, we'll never know. Maybe they have the same shitty taste, alltough there should allways be one guy that knows what the fuck is going on. Or maybe because they're good Christian they don't say anything "wrong" to not hurt his feelings / being an (reasonable) asshole.

 

[desudesu]

I doubt they would say anything & even if they do, we'll never know. Maybe they have the same shitty taste, alltough there should allways be one guy that knows what the fuck is going on. Or maybe because they're good Christian they don't say anything "wrong" to not hurt his feelings / being an (reasonable) asshole.

Might be the latter. Almost all of Jack’s “friends” tolerate him for Tammy’s sake. They probably just smiled and pretended to enjoy the ribs and Fat Jack knows the ribs are half assed. He probably learned the lesson of not gloating on camera over his shitty cooking ever since the Church Chilli incident.

Edit: In case anyone wanted to know how the half-assed pork turned out. Fucking hell, Rob's ribs won out so much compared to this dry ass piece of pork.

 

[A Duck Selling Lemonade]

Why is this bitch whining about the quantity of meat when he has a collection of smokers?

 

[moseph.jartelli]

jack 100% had a different dad than his brothers (and mystery sister)

he looks like your typical mexican kid here

View attachment 2618907

He looks like Cobra Kai is about to chase him down and kick his ass all over Reseda

 

[wdymbro]

Why is this bitch whining about the quantity of meat when he has a collection of smokers?

When he struggles to count to six after Tammy puts them in the smoker I feel like he's just echoing Tammy's bitching and doesn't even know what the hell is going on anymore.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Tammy must really hate his guts in this one. So he agrees to feed the whole congregation of men at his church. I'm wondering if they had to pay for all of the meat out of pocket and if they will be reimbursed. Not only does jack waste her money, Tammy is left to do all of the heavy lifting for the meat smoking since Jack must stand there and film with his gimp arm. Smoking all of that meat takes hours. I am surprised she hasn't smothered this guy in his sleep yet. No one would blame her.

I am also surprised they would allow Jack to prepare anything. Aren't they afraid of eating undercooked pork and all of the cross contamination?

Jacks going to bring back the Murder in Murderchurch if he keeps serving them food.

 

[Pig Cups]

He strategically placed the bowls and spices to hide the dead arm in the opening shot.

No one is deceived Jack, we can still see the purple swollen mass.

The first shot of the video is hilarious. Jack looks like a literal child haha.


Fuckhead starts the video with “Have you ever done, like, committed to something and it was probably a little bit more than you should’ve taken on?” At first, I thought he was going to have a rare moment of honesty and admit that his Profile by Sanford experience was an abject failure, that weight loss is too hard for him to accomplish, and that he’s given up on it. Would seem so, as he’s fatter now than before his “diet.” Silly me.

Also, his lamenting that he “bit off more than I could chew” with regards to this project is a very unpromising thing to hear. I mean, it’s unintentionally honest, but it’s a phrase that’s commonly uttered when someone takes on a responsibility, fucks up royally, and admits that they were unqualified in retrospect. Words matter, Jack.

Or maybe because they're good Christian they don't say anything "wrong" to not hurt his feelings / being an (reasonable) asshole.

Churchy assholes like Jack and his congregation are typically supportive* in the face of sloppiness. Here’s a prime example, demonstrated by the congregants applauding when any sane person would’ve booed and thrown a monkey wrench.

*of those they perceive to be like them. Y’all faggots, troons, atheists, and Jews are shit outta luck.

I'm surprised Big T didn't accidentally put some of that famous rub on Jack's arm, it's looking more and more like something you'd see in a butcher's window every day.

The refrigerator shot really shows the color contrast between his arms. Blech.

Side note, it’s…strange seeing Jack demonstrating motion at that angle. And that shot of the fridge is something we rarely ever see. It’s like the Seinfeld episode The Tape, where they expanded the set in Jerry’s apartment, creating an angle unseen elsewhere in the series.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

“… on a pulled pork.”

CONFIRMED: Jagoff really does actually think that pulled pork is a specific cut of meat lmfao

 

[Adamska]

Archive (480p):
View attachment 2619952

Screw it, I just watched this; might as well give some comments now.

1. Jack is in his Pumpkin shirt, likely because the Grimmace and Watermelon ones got made fun of too much. The bistro sign is tilting hard to starboard, as the SS Scalfani continues to sink. Jack is still too retarded to move his bacon grease he eats away from the shot, or his diabetes medicine. I think the PCLM podcast does have him feel enough shame to hide the Time to Eat Ya sign though, since there's more shit covering it.
2. Floppy bowl family is also back, but it's a mere cameo. Instead Jack burbles out how "we were early", and then goes on about a minute about how he volunteered himself to cook all the meat for the Boy's Club at his murderchurch. He's whinging about how much he has to make for them, probably because he had to use Mommy Wife's money to do that rather than eat out. He's also the big sad that all that meat is taking space in the "fridgerator"
3. Jack then brags about how he's totally being charitable by giving you this dry rub. Said dry rub contains no salt, pepper, or garlic, because that would be smart.
4. Jack tries to explain why his rub contains four flavors, and forgets what chili powder and smoked paprika are. He also proves once more he has no tastebuds anymore since he thinks coffee tastes like chocolate. In his own words, the flavors he picked were "sweet, chocolatey, heat, and smoky".
5. Jack's dumping looks like a lot, but given he has like 100 pounds of meat I'm not going to shit on him. I will shit on him for using a fuckload of coffee and paprika. Also again, it takes a big retard to not use salt and pepper for this too.
6. Jack tries to sell the idea of "what was he thinking" when he got 10 big piles of meat. But we know he wanted to have 100 pounds of meat ALL to himself. I bet he struggled daily not to grab a whole chunk of brisket and eat it raw until then.
7. Oh hey, he has five fucking cans of full fat whipped cream in that fridge. See the white bottles with the red caps? That full fat whipped cream. Diabetic Jack probably drinks it with his bacon grease as he wonders why sores appear on his feet or dead arm.
8. Jack realizes he sounds like a bitch when he complains about all the meat he'll have Tammy lug, and tries to say his "heart is in the right place". Well yeah, he's about to get a fourth stroke or a heart attack.
9. Jack actually seasons both sides, though he should've also rubbed his shitty dry rub onto the sides. He should've also removed more of the fat caps, since that will prevent the flavor from permeating.
10. Jack is such a retard that he can't remember he has six piles of pork smoking in his industrial sized smoker. He literally reenacts a children's show and counts the pork. No wonder he still unironically watches Blues Clues and other shows for babies.
11. Jack childishly gloats about how big his industrial smoker is. He's also so gigabrained that he crowds said smoker by putting all his pork to the side, meaning it's going to get shittastic smoking due to air flow being critical. It also shows you he'll throw more meat into that fucker to make it struggle even harder to smoke the pork it already had.
12. Jack tries to combat the accusation that he overstuffs his cooking surfaces by using that Z-smoker to cover the briskets. It then segues into a shitty projector slideshow with the musical soundtrack you hear when an ischemic attack has you on the floor, gurgling Keeeeetoooo as tens of millions of neurons commit self deletus and you lose use of half your face.
13. Jack is so happy about all the meat that's cooking he continues to wake up and show off his incompetence.
14. The wendigo inside Jack is so filled with lust that Jack's english decays rapidly as he thinks of all the meat juice dripping into the water tray and onto the ground. I honestly think if Jack still had all four limbs, his neighbors would see him licking his driveway like a fucking dog.
15. Jack explains how Tammy will do all the lifting of the meat and the rewrapping of it into even more foil. He does not however explain how he will have her clean the smoker. But then again, I don't think Jack ever did that so it'll be fine, the bacteria and rust will just add texture to the meat.
16. Jack films the first pile of meat getting rewrapped like you would a model shot before he gets impatient and fade cuts. Oi @TheLazyMan ; I found clippings of Gastrosexual healing 3 for ya. This video has two good moments for one.
17. Jack is so sexually aroused by the sight of juices oozing out of the foil he orders Tammy to open the wrapping, fucking up the whole "let your food rest" thing in the process.
18. Jack also is mechanically and mentally unable to not call all pork he barbecues "pull pork". He says it pre shredding, or even before he considers barbecuing it. I wonder if he calls ham pulled pork too?
19. Jack's a fat fucking liar; he pretends that a friend told him how to cook this shit. I know for a fact he did the foil wrapping thing before all that since he read it online. He only changed to it since foil was more convenient and I outed the blog he stole the cooking method from.
20. I consider it a miracle he didn't start eating that pork as soon as he saw it. I get the feeling though he mostly ate the pork, since you know, his food lacks the salt and pepper that great barbecuing uses to enhance the meat. Hell, the best barbecue just uses salt and pepper.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Also, his lamenting that he “bit off more than I could chew” with regards to this project is a very unpromising thing to hear. I mean, it’s unintentionally honest, but it’s a phrase that’s commonly uttered when someone takes on a responsibility, fucks up royally, and admits that they were unqualified in retrospect. Words matter, Jack.

It was also a great choice of words in a way from fatman. Try visualizing more than Jack can fit into his mouth. Not pleasant.