Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[The Valeyard]

Bobby tweeted all these while supposedly attending a "press event":

I see Bob has already made up his mind on hating Dune before seeing it because the director doesn't like MCU capeshit.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

This got me thinking; how often do you think Bob in on the load? It would at least partially explain why he's so furious all the time if he's a mean drunk and and he's drinking constantly.

He's bragged about drinking rum with breakfast so I'd say he's always buzzed, which makes a lot of his ramblings make more sense. It's sad but I guess it's the only way he can face the world as Bob Chipman.

 

[ChampFantana]

I'd say zero self awareness but that implies Bob will be important enough to be included in a historical montage.

Bob has a ton of zeros in his life

Zero friends
Zero wrinkles in his brain
Zero forks on his family tree
Zero sexual partners in 40+ years
Zero wins in life
Zero Mayoghouls gassed
Zero chance at ever losing his V card
Zero offspring
Etc, etc.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Who the hell wants a Kill Bill 3 at this point?

Tarantino is like the only guy left who makes original movies that make money. Don't blow it on a sequel, or a Star Trek movie.

 

[EnemyStand]

Who the hell wants a Kill Bill 3 at this point?

Tarantino is like the only guy left who makes original movies that make money. Don't blow it on a sequel, or a Star Trek movie.

Kill Bill ended when the Bride killed Bill.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Commies don't know what causes white supremacy, or indeed what it really is; Bobby is saddled with the unenviable task of educating them:
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What women's right (yup: the apostrophe remains a conundrum to Bobby) and LGBTQ civil rights have Trump rolled back?

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Socialism Train called the Jan 6 rioters "lumpen" while Bobby call them capitalists, so who are they really? Also Bobby lets his mask off and reveal his true self as a dirty Conservative: "Revolution is inferior to Progress".
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Is "2+2=4" a moral statement? Will it become an immoral statement when a nignog insists that 2+2=5?

Bobby tweeted all these while supposedly attending a "press event":
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---

A house nigger (literally who?) speaks exactly what is on Bobby's mind:
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Anna Khait calls out leftists and Democrats for their superstition of Communism, especially sects like Leninism and Stalinism:
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The "sex assault boat" (..."condom jar," "dildos," Alicia Keys music (though not Marvin Gaye because it is "too chiche)," lube, a ceiling mirror, posters and paintings of naked women, copies of Playboy and other pornographic magazines, Viagra pills, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold.") sounds like what Bobby would want his basement to look like, had he grown out of Mario and capeshit.

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Someone makes a sideways swipe to Jeff Bezos; Bobby loses his mind:
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Batman:
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(Popcrush Article)

Free Guy:
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From that tweetstorm there about the reiteration of the shaming of the MayoChudGhouls, I'm betting Bobby "works" (watches movies) fully blitzed. He should not drink and drive review.

 

[A Very Big Fish]

Is that Baptist Pastor the third Chipman brother?

 

[Wormy]

Kill Bill ended when the Bride killed Bill.

Didn't the idea of Nicky's (Verdita Green's daughter) Revenge get tossed around?

 

[ditto]

I'm betting Bobby "works" (watches movies) fully blitzed.

He'd also be on his phone the whole time scrolling through twitter.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Has there been any reaction on Eternals so far? I'm curious to how much dick sucking Bob is going to give it.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Didn't the idea of Nicky's (Verdita Green's daughter) Revenge get tossed around?

In any other time except modern woke clownworld this would be a good setup but alas we know woke Hollywood would find a way to fuck it up.

 

[Koby_Fish]

He's bragged about drinking rum with breakfast so I'd say he's always buzzed, which makes a lot of his ramblings make more sense. It's sad but I guess it's the only way he can face the world as Bob Chipman.

he must have been buzzed or plastered when he bragged about it too. I'm not sure whether he was trying to say, "I'm fancy/wealthy/cultured enough to drink RUM with Breakfast, peasant! LOL what did you drink with breakfast, ORANGE JUICE? TARD CUM?" (are we sure rum wasn't the ENTIRETY of breakfast, lol? And what time was "breakfast" anyway? 1pm?), or his booze-addled brain thought it was a good idea because it's some kind of freudian slip where he admits he is basically a (barely) functional alcoholic. Either way, as I said at the time, that bit of bragging wasn't the pwn he thought it was.

 

[Lensherr]

The Batman.
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Indeed Bobby doesn't like movies that look the same as each other.
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Bobby is very triggered that The Batman uses real camera skills rather than CGI sliders.
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Gibbering nonsense. You tell me.
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Bobby wants big dumb movies, like MCU:
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Hating a film because you hate the audience "can easily lead to racism" -- a pothole that Bobby has skillfully navigated around.
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Full of self-awareness, as always.

All Hail CGI! It allows art direction and "cinematographers" to dawdle till the last minute!
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You know what gets me irrationally irritated? Bob is one of those people who calls fans "toxic" and "entitled" when they object to their preferred properties getting treated disrespectfully, yet here he is getting autistically angry at The Batman for not representing his ideal version of the character. By his own standards, he's acting just like the fans who he condemns. I remember him saying not too long ago when the cast for the upcoming Mario movie was announced that he tries to be a "reasonable" guy when it comes to movies and that Mario was the one thing he wanted people to let him be "unreasonable" about due to being such a big fan of the property (of course, as we all know, Bob being in any way a reasonable person is a massive crock of shit). I guess Batman is the other property that he thinks he's entitled to be unreasonable about as well.

And just the screenshots of his tard-raging being contrasted with him slobbering all over the MCU's CGI bullshit as if it's the coolest shit ever illustrates volumes as to what a corporate cocksucker he is.

I read somebody's account online of trying to follow the Ant-Man movies without following any of the other MCU offerings, and having it be a jumbled mess of an experience. I completely agree that trying to make movies which rely on seeing a dozen or so other offerings to fully understand (maybe 3-5 to mostly understand) makes for an exhausting experience. I'm mostly just sick of movies which end with a setup for not only a sequel/trilogy, but a bunch of different spinoffs and a cinematic universe (eg, King Arthur, The Mummy) and it's like, Christ almighty I don't want to deal with this.

The friend that I saw the first Ant-Man with hadn't seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron beforehand so they were very confused at the Falcon cameo who I explained was "the cheapest Avenger".


I'm hoping that the Cinematic Universe bubble bursts soon, and studios start focusing more on standalone movies.

Ironically, when the Marvel movies first started out in Phase 1/Early Phase 2, you really didn't need to have seen any of the others in order to "get" what was going on. The cameos were nice little bonus Easter eggs for people who had seen the other films.

I think things really started to fall apart with Captain America: Civil War, which will make absolutely no sense if you hadn't seen the previous MCU entries. Civil War was probably one of the best MCU films, yet one of the absolute worst standalone films.

Honestly, I'm even okay with sequels/trilogies! Something like what Sonic the Hedgehog is doing, where they tease a sequel with Tails. That's okay by me. But I do not, absolutely do not want, to watch a dozen or so unrelated movies to find out why Sonic the Hedgehog is suddenly driving forklifts with Kiryu Kazuma in the sequel.

Of course, now that I'm thinking about it, that's why people are freaking out about people revealing spoilers about the Eternals. Because they need some way to justify seeing a boring looking movie that wouldn't be appealing if not for the "Marvel" logo slapped in the front. And if that's spoiled, why would they need to see it? They now know why Thor's going to appear as the owner of a car wash franchise in Thor 4: Stop, my Anus is Thor, and there you go.

I collected Comic books since I was a kid in the 80s. Mostly Marvel Comics.

I HATE the MCU experience

Movies have no weight, no good character drama, all is just mediocre action scens (Shang Chi didnt revolutanize anything, its B- movie to anyone who watched Kung Fu flicks) and now the worst thing ever is the Disney+ shows. No WandaVision is not good TV, its really really bad TV. But now you have to watch hours and hours on end to understand why the universe is working as...

I DONT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT THE UNIVERSE, GIVE ME GOOD STORY

With all the comics nonsense and chaos of things like 80s x-men and 90s Spider-Man, there were at least trying to tell good character driven stories. When it comes to the MCU its all about FOMO pills and spoiler vaccinations instead of movies. No one talks about scenes relating to the current movie only about references and theories for the next one, like endless cycle of free 2 play phone game.

That's one of the other decent things that's getting lost, the idea of having characters and concepts introduced in a film being understood by watching that film alone instead of all the supplementary material. We didn't need an introductory movie for Hawkeye for his appearance in the original Thor to be noteworthy. Audience's aren't so stupid that they need to start at square one of a character's story to relate to them, sometimes, perhaps, they can just appear in the movie and carry their role through the gravitas brought to the role by the script/acting/directing.

Or perhaps they need their own cinematic universe too! Wowzers!!

I agree. I miss stand-alone movies.

The only type of hero movies I really like are the standalone, stories where the main character has a goal or a mission and they have a beginning, a middle and end. No unnecessary baggage, no teasers, just a one and done.

The only time, I like sequels is if it leads to an endgame. The main character’s ultimate agenda or consequence. The last chapter in their story.

This applies to all forms of media. I miss when certain media can stand on their own without all the universe, spin-offs, sequels and other media crap. When has the last (good) piece of media that released that did not have or require any form of baggage?

Haha, Bob's finally admitting he has full-blown beetus. For a while there, he was trying to imply that he was still in a pre-diabetic state, but I guess he just couldn't stop gorging himself. Either that, or he was lying the whole time. Either's fine, I'm just gonna mock him for eating his way to disability. What a fat dumbass.

The problem with Hollywood...

...okay, Hollywood has a lot of problems, the rampant pedophilia not being the least of these. Let me start over.

One of the problems with Hollywood is their insistence on chasing trends long after they've run out of steam, with no idea why something became popular in the first place. You'll notice that, aside from a couple possible instances like the Star Wars series, the concept of a cinematic universe really didn't take off until The Avengers. Man of Steel was initially just a reboot of the Superman series to keep the rights from reverting back to Siegel and Shuster's estates, and it was only post-Avengers that WB scrambled to create a cinematic universe from DC properties. And that's without getting into other aborted attempts like Universal's Dark Universe.

It's not really a surprise when you think about it. Hollywood is notoriously risk-averse, especially for anything with a substantial budget. If a movie flops, the studio's lost a lot of money, so they focus solely on safe bets, aiming to produce more of whatever's popular. Remember the initial popularity of The Walking Dead and subsequent zombie craze? It seemed like you couldn't go a month without another zombie movie in theaters, to the point that the market was oversaturated and the public burned out, though not before Hollywood kept beating the undead horse for a few more years. Now zombies are pretty rare again. You can insert your own joke here about how TWD keeps coming back to life for another season long after it should've been dead and buried.

To those of us on the outside looking in, it's incredibly short-sighted to always be chasing trends and never trying anything new. Once a concept has been rehashed and rebooted a hundred different ways, usually by untalented hacks, it loses all its luster and fails to entertain. It would be better to come up with something new so that you can start a trend instead of just chasing after scraps, but like I said, Hollywood is scared of a box office bomb, and there's no way of telling whether something will actually be a hit with audiences, let alone a blockbuster success.

Now, I might be overly optimistic about the habits of consoomers, but I do think the capeshit trend can't really last forever. The MCU has been going for over a decade now, and that's a lot of material to catch up on, made all the worse by Disney effectively insisting that you also need to watch all their shitty Disney+ shows as well. The barrier to entry is increasing with every production, and while dedicated consoomers will keep watching until the heat death of the universe, the average moviegoer might just decide to watch something that actually has an ending to it, especially if they never had much of an investment to begin with. A lot of the positive reactions to Phase 4 ring hollow to me, as though people are trying to convince themselves that they still care as much as they did when it was at its peak. Again, maybe I'm optimistic, but audiences are fickle, and what used to be all the rage can quickly become old news.

This was a lot of words, so I'll end by calling Bob a fat dumbass again.

Spoiler: Off-Topic Comic Book Adaptation Sperging

It's weird. I used to be a huge MCU fan. Would see every film opening weekend and obsess over what the various teases meant for the future on message boards with fellow fans. I've always been very fond of the Marvel pantheon of superheroes, and seeing them portrayed onscreen in the way that they were was a dream come true to me (and the movies made me dive even more deeply into the comics). Now, I couldn't give less of a shit about the franchise. Part of it is just me growing older and my taste in movies changing to where these big, flashy spectacle films don't really scratch my cinephile itch anymore, but I also just got so burnt out on the overall formula and limitations that were placed on the individual films in order to fit into the larger universe. These days, I find that the comic-book adaptations I enjoy the most are the ones that both stand on their own two feet and feel like they have a distinctive voice/vision. This includes older films like Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy and Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, which to me are the gold standard as far as these movies go.

And you know what? I'm very happy that the new Batman movie isn't gonna be connected to any larger shared universe. Despite being more of a Marvel guy, Batman is the one DC hero that I've always loved the most, and I'm glad that his new movie won't be weighed down by having to coexist in the same universe as a bunch of other superheroes. This may be controversial to say, but I personally wish that the Marvel characters (particularly Spider-Man) could go back to that sort of setup.

 

[Wormy]

In any other time except modern woke clownworld this would be a good setup but alas we know woke Hollywood would find a way to fuck it up.

How? I mean, I have no doubt they COULD, but I can't exactly picture how considering how simple a revenge story that could be...

 

[A Very Big Fish]

I think everyone's starting to get sick of reboots/updates/waytoofuckinglatesequels but that might just be me projecting.

Also, Tarantino puts his fetishes on full display in his movies, if he goes woke we might as well pack it in because judgement day is at hand.

 

[make_it_so]

From that tweetstorm there about the reiteration of the shaming of the MayoChudGhouls, I'm betting Bobby "works" (watches movies) fully blitzed. He should not drink and drive review.

It would explain why the movies he gives the most glowing reviews for are MCU capeshit or monster flicks - easy to follow what's going on even when you're plastered.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

In any other time except modern woke clownworld this would be a good setup but alas we know woke Hollywood would find a way to fuck it up.

Precisely, it would be another horseshit movie about white people bad and racism despite none of it being in the fucking original movie!

How? I mean, I have no doubt they COULD, but I can't exactly picture how considering how simple a revenge story that could be...

There is little backstory on the daughter, which is good and bad, on her perspective The Bride simply is a friend of her mother who brutally murdered her in her own house, making her clearly the villain in her eyes! How you tell that story, with what elements, is the question. You could fill it with plenty of backstory about Vernita while showing what happened to The Bride in all those years, make one the foil of the other, if you don't add retarded politics in it could be a pretty good story!

It would explain why the movies he gives the most glowing reviews for are MCU capeshit or monster flicks - easy to follow what's going on even when you're plastered.

Blobert is also the kind of guy who thinks that adding lots of hooks and callbacks to other movies equals telling a good story, this is what makes MCU movies confusing on some points if you didn't watch the other 5000 movies they released on the same year but as Bob has fuckall to do otherwise he gets to revel in the glory of his own blubber lol!

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

How? I mean, I have no doubt they COULD, but I can't exactly picture how considering how simple a revenge story that could be...

Copperhead's daughter sets off on her own revenge arc, but she slowly comes to learn what her own mother was involved in (i.e. the wedding massacre) causing at least some level of personal crisis/questioning, as well as Beatrix's daughter being a factor which implies that if she does kill Beatrix she's just setting herself up for the same revenge arc to be carried out against her.
And there's a couple ways you could go about doing that, and possibly some other stuff involving Bill and backstory about how he actually ran (and possibly manipulated) his gang of assassins one could throw in there too, just off the top of my head.

 

[Koby_Fish]

It would explain why the movies he gives the most glowing reviews for are MCU capeshit or monster flicks - easy to follow what's going on even when you're plastered.

also explains his stream-of-consciousness blathering about idiotic tangents at a million miles an hour (taking his speeding up of his own voice into consideration) that barely goes anywhere when making a Big Picture review.

 

[bajagoogoo]

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What women's right (yup: the apostrophe remains a conundrum to Bobby) and LGBTQ civil rights have Trump rolled back?

Chastising someone because they used pictures of women to prove a point about his biased outlook. How very on brand.

Perhaps it would've been better if they just used a picture of a woman that can use at a moments notice to pretend there's a connection when there isn't?

No, that would be crazy! Only someone remarkably stupid and extremely creepy would do something like that!