DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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Maybe Khet is somewhat into this, and he hears bullshit Nihon "culture" every night, and so, as He receives, He gives back, for the worst.
I think it goes deeper. Young Dave was set to take the pro SF world by storm, he was at the top of his game, mentally and physically. He had hot canadian swimsuit model girlfriends you never met, he was ripped and could bench press like 350 IRL, and everyone in the fighting scene loved him. But then disaster struck. Not one, not two, but THREE sick men from the orient STOLE his 1st place evo win. Those disgusting ching chongs must have cheated, gone to professions Japanese fighting games and handjob training schools they are famous for! It was that day our hero Dave realized he could never forgive the degenerate Japanese for their many transgressions against the west.
 
I think it goes deeper. Young Dave was set to take the pro SF world by storm, he was at the top of his game, mentally and physically. He had hot canadian swimsuit model girlfriends you never met, he was ripped and could bench press like 350 IRL, and everyone in the fighting scene loved him. But then disaster struck. Not one, not two, but THREE sick men from the orient STOLE his 1st place evo win. Those disgusting ching chongs must have cheated, gone to professions Japanese fighting games and handjob training schools they are famous for! It was that day our hero Dave realized he could never forgive the degenerate Japanese for their many transgressions against the west.
Phillip "2 Nukes weren't enough" Burnell.
 
Japan is a very different culture from most of the west, but that can be said of most of Asia. Japan is a very formal (or formalized if we want to use DSP talk, maybe that'll help him understand) culture with a lot of rules. It's also a very competitive culture. Following your dreams is a lot less important in Asia as it is here, and the expectations on kids are very different. It's why 1st generation (that's the right term for kids who's parents are fresh off the boat, yeah?) Asian immigrants in the west tend to dominate science, medicine, engineering, math, all the STEM fields. It's like that because their parents pressure them into it since their parents see that that's where the money, status, and success are.

It's the same way in countries like Japan. The problem though is that not everyone can be a doctor, engineer, mathematician, etc. Post-secondary education isn't a guarantee for most of the population like it has become in the west. A degree actually means something there. Hell, even getting a decent secondary school is difficult since they make 11-13 year old kids take entrance exams to get into decent high schools. Going to a bad school pretty much kills any chance of getting a higher education. With how cutthroat that world can be, it creates a lot of people who feel like losers, especially young men since there's still a very traditional and conservative culture in Japan. Men are expected to provide, women are expected to nurture. The competitiveness leads to a lot of women leveraging their looks, or their family's status and wealth to get into relationships with men who are better able to provide for them because, well, that's how the world works. It's how it worked for their mothers, their grandmothers, going back forever. That's not to say women everywhere don't do that, they do that's what relationships are if you break them down (I promise this isn't incel talk, I'm not that pathetic yet), but in a culture where if you're not married, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen by age 25 with a husband who can provide for the two of you, then you're considered over-the-hill and undesirable, it lights a fire under a lot of women's asses to shack up young and with the best they can get.

And that brings us to the dregs of society. Put yourself in that position: not smart enough to even finish highschool, stuck working a shit job that pays trash without any hope of advancement, no competitive edge to speak of in this highly competitive environment. Unlike Phil, most people don't want to feel alone and isolated from everyone, and a lot of these young men and women feel that way. It's why host(ess) clubs exist. They're shady, seedy, often times have links to organized crime, and provide a service to lonely people who want to feel like they've won something in life.

Basically, they're catered towards the Phil-styled Japanese. Instead of spending all their money on fast food, booze, and mobile games, they just buy the booze and for a few hours get to pretend that someone actually gives a shit about them.

There you go Phil, a nice detailed guide like you love explain why you're a dipshit. Read a fucking book.
 
Being in a thread discussing how literal dentheads are throwing half of their minimum wage income on a fat polish man to get humiliated in front of other men, after which the fat Polish man proceeds to, in turn, pump hundreds of dollars a day into a mobile game where he get jpegs of sweaty men in thongs really makes buying access to an 8 dollar onlyfans of a chick with fat tits seem unimportant, don't you?
I know you’re paying for Onlyfans and are angry that i called you out. But no need to sperg out like that. Chill.
 
Okay seriously what the fuck I was checking clipper channels for more Lost Judgment clips and after every stream of Lost Judgment at least 2 of them post a clip of Phil pigsplaining Japanese culture or some aspect of it and getting everything wrong. And it's not like they all post a clip of the same thing, it's 2 clips of 2 different incorrect pigsplanations. Especially if it's a Bacon Bits episode by Aqua Teal, then you're bombarded by clips of Phil pigsplaining Japanese culture.

Why is he suddenly doing this? No other Yakuza game or the first Judgment game made him do this. In fact in Yakuza 7 he was still surprised at some of the plot points which related in some way to Japanese culture. When the game explained how legally grey businesses like soaplands or similar rub'n'tugs worked he was sitting there completely bewildered like he's a Spanish conquistador who just witnessed the first human sacrifice ritual he's ever seen performed in some South American tribe which he thought was ripe for Spanish rule. Even when he was LARPing as a robust Itahlien stahllien years ago he never did this shit and pigsplained aspects of Itahlien culture. Is he gonna claim in a future Lost Judgment stream that he's quarter Japanese?
It's well known Khet is a weeb and he claims she watches the Yakuza streams cause she loves the game. It's probably her influence, either him repeating stuff she talks about or maybe even him trying to impress her.
 
She had or still has Khetanas, seemed really into weeb culture. When her twitter was doxxed 20 mins after her reveal the location was set to Japan. So she seems like quite a big weeb.

It also sounded like he was just angry at hololive vtubers getting more money than him for not even playing games all the time.
That's because they are actually talented.
 
It's baffling to me how Phil has the patience for Derich when he has blown up at everything and everyone else.

I'm still waiting for the day when Phil finally freaks out on Derich. "Derich, will you shut the fuck up and stop asking me the same fucking question over and over!"

Followed by Derich, unfazed, asking the exact same question again.
Perhaps the behind the scenes tips are really derich's parents paying for babysitting. :story:
 
Negative self awareness
Pretty crazy stuff. Not only is Phil's job very similar to that of a (particularly shady and shitty) host, but Katherine Burnell is essentially a professional hostess with a side gig as a cashier.

Does she get Phil to pay her bills, rent and food? Yes. Does she fuck Phil? No. Does she do anything for Phil other than offer her gracious company, comprised of "tuhuh" and watching streamers in dead silence with him? Absolutely not. Kat's not even a good hostess, yet Phil opened his wallet for her. Can't exactly say that you "Don't get" why hostess clubs are a thing when you yourself are simping for a trashfire of a wife and getting jack shit in return. Other than a beard.

It's been touched upon in the thread already, but Japan's crazy expectations don't limit themselves to jobs, success in life and all that. They're also applied to your free time. This is another completely alien concept for westerners, usually, but Japanese fun outings often involve checklists and psychotic structure and order. We will hit these specific bars, in this specific order, and we'll be done by 1:25 AM on the dot, which gives us exactly 14 minutes and thirty seconds to catch the last bus home. There's no room for spontaneity with these dudes. And they drink hard, too. Alcoholism is not even perceived as such. The same straight laced boring salaryman you met three hours ago cuts loose like a motherfucker and wilds out on karaoke all night, drunk outta his gourd, like there's no dichotomy to be had there. And the next day, he'll be at his office's door at 6 AM sharp, all cleaned up, and ready to work until he passes out, then hang out with his coworkers late into the night again.

These people have no time to themselves once they enter real adult life. It's all either job time, bonding with colleagues time, or highly structured family time on the weekends. Most jobs foster a sort of "family" atmosphere, where everyone's expected to be personally involved in the success of the company, partly out of professionalism and partly out of building a relationship between workers, management and top brass. Meeting people in this climate is rough, prostitution and adult entertainment aren't really frowned upon, and women in the workspace are treated with the kiddiest of kid gloves because men over there are just terrified of fourth wave feminism and sexual harassment lawsuits, but they make absolutely no attempt to act natural about it. Bosses will straight up tell their employess to never touch a female employee even in a friendly way, and to avoid her if it would result in one on one time, with 0 regards for comfort or mood over sticking to the rules.

Of course people would like to pay to hang out with a young, hot, dressed up and made up woman, because they're not gonna get a chance or an acceptable social situation to do so otherwise. It's not just for poor lonely fucks, though the industry certainly preys on them, it's the proposed solution to loneliness, or just what you do if you wanna have a good time. Just throw money at the problem; It's not like you get many chances to fix it otherwise. They don't have the same concept that it's pathetic to pay for that sort of thing. Wanna fuck a woman? Go to a soapland. Cheaper than dating. Lonely? Go to a hostess place, you'll get to talk to a pretty girl for a few hours. Most westerners don't "get" hostess clubs and that's reasonable, but most Japanese guys don't think there's anything wrong with them. Honestly, I think Japanese guys would think DSP paypigs are crazy when they could be blowing that money on hot 20 year old girls they could talk to and get shitfaced with instead. Seems like a straight upgrade.

You're basically paying money to get a date with a hot woman who will flirt with you but not fuck you. Hardly any more wasteful than giving 150 dahllers to a greasy polack to put on an autistic vest. The streamer industry in many ways is pretty much just the Western equivalent of Japanese host clubs. I get that Phil's so far below having any degree of professionalism that he just openly doesn't give a fuck about what his audience wants, but by god, if you're getting 150 dollars the very least you can do is tough out your vest and cowboy hat until the end of a stream. A host would.

Hosts and hostesses at least try to put forth the best possible service, they take good care of themselves to stay attractive and nice to look at for as long as possible, they actively keep up with current topics of discussion and practice their conversational skills to ensure that they don't hit a snag with their customers, and they try their hardest to keep you entertained and happy if you request them at their joint. Whether the whole thing is a scam and would require one to be absolutely crazy to pay for that sort of thing, since paying makes it pointless, is pretty much a moot point. On the other hand, Phil's a toxic asshole who will straight up "I dunno whatcher dhalkin' abauht..." questions he doesn't want to answer, has no favorite games, has no favorite songs, and all he can talk about is what microwave delicacies he's devoured lately. The dentheads are getting a raw deal bankrolling this clown. A host or hostess would come dressed to the nines and ready to talk videogames to death with them for the same amount of money. Because their job involves striving to be a dream date, even if it's for only half an hour. If you're already in a situation where paying someone to be nice to you for a while seems like a good choice, you can do a lot better than Phil.

TLDR: It's rich as fuck coming from friendless, fully isolated hermit Phil to borderline pull the "It's pathetic to pay for female attention" card when he himself has paid out the ass and put a ring on a benzo'd out potato just to appear slightly less gay. Streaming is basically being a host, and were Phil slightly less shit at it and had any degree of professionalism about it, he'd realize some hospitality would go a long way. For fuck's sakes, Aris will at least call you a dumb crazy bitch if you're saying stupid shit in chat, and any sort of interaction is better than a "I dunno whatcher talking about, stop derailing."

EDIT: Paying for Onlyfans is dumb from a pragmatic standpoint. There's enough porn on the internet already, just watch some of it. Unless it's some crazy original fetish stuff that only this one slut provides, with good use of tags you can find pretty much anything you want. Everything you can possibly think of has been done already. It's crazy that Onlyfans is still a working business when porn should be literally worth nothing due to the sheer amount of it that's already out in the open for free.
 
I just find it funny that we’re discussing Phil’s misinformed ‘hot takes’ on Japanese cultural behavior when it’s likely he probably couldn’t pin Japan in a map even if his life depended on it.
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Japan
 
It's basically a known fact that DSP is a worm irl and can only talk smack from his comfy couch. He just can't deal with the real world and normal human interaction. That is why he uses doordash so much. The only time I've seen him raise his voice in public is when he's throwing a temper tantrum like the manchild he is.
This probably plays into his special treatment of Derich. He's simply too cowardly to be seen berating someone well established as being legit retarded. We know he admitted handling Sidella with kid gloves based on him having psychological problems, and it clearly isn't out of compassion since Phil can't even spell that word, and he doesn't want to relate to what his true people are. He has always thought of himself as one of the cool kids, relating to the likes of Derich would destroy that delusion.

Same goes for recognizing the way that his lifestyle is more pathetic than the sad saps who pay for some attention from hot chicks, because at least the guys who fantasize about banging Amouranth are fairly normal in what they want. Misguided in how they fulfill their desires, but the desires themselves make sense. Nothing normal about legit enjoying a fat fucking ungrateful slob suck at everything on camera six days a week. Phil knows this, and refuses to face it, because then he couldn't pretend that he's awesome.

Probably at least one reason he harps so much on being a married man, while staying very reserved when it comes to the details of their lives, something Young Phil knew not the concept of. Not of the mind that Katherine is a bitch on wheels, but she doesn't need to be for Mr. Potatohead to be afraid of her wrath should he flex on everybody with talk of banging the shit out of her. That or he gets internally triggered when he thinks about all the times Leanna made it obvious on camera that he wasn't satisfying her, which he knew took away from his image as the cool guy with a trophy girlfriend.
Wonder if this guy watched dsp. Goes to about 7:40

It's truly amazing the extent to which Phil stands out as a terrible example of an entertainer. Not only is he the exact opposite of that guy, but he's so bad that even the other obnoxious internet career folks are superior to him in likability. Table Builder Dude is right, it is annoying being told to hit that subscribe button constantly, but even the other people who do it are less shitty than the pigroach, because generally speaking, they don't try to have their cake and eat it too all the time. Phil always waffles between being on the verge of starving and being a successful businessman because he refuses to stop grifting retards OR just deal with it when assertions of financial troubles is followed by ridicule. He has to have both his scams and assertions of being the opposite of a failure, constantly. Not even the other shit-heads do that.
 
Negative self awareness
Phil's complete lack of self awareness and memory holing everything is remarkable. I wish I could forget everything as easily as he does.

Recall the escort saga, which is Phil's eternal trump card for discrediting the detractors. It wasn't an escort, it was flying a strange desperate woman who got kicked out of her boyfriend's house for cheating on him across the country numerous times and then buying everything for her... clothes, giving her your car, and imagine what else with his insane spending we know of.

Phil, that's as simp betabux bitch as it gets. For your wife that you "mistakenly" have called Mom 10 times and that you sleep in separate rooms with.
 
Phil is just opening his eyes now, they are nearly crusted shut. Phil didn’t get much sleep, he was up late last night, drinking, pulling some champs, and worrying about the lack of tips. How is going to feed Khet today? Phil snorts, then snorts again, the 2nd snort satisfies Phil, it had more feeling and meaning.

Phil slowly gets out of his bed, stained from sweat and gin and liquids unknown. Phil knows he should have the sheets washed but he has been working so hard playing Super Monkey Ball Banana Mania that he just does not have the energy to do it. The children love that game but those kids really piss Phil off. Why can’t they get their parents to start tipping too? Phil lets out a frustrated grunt.

Phil painfully gets down the stairs, each stair a laborious task for his rapidly aging body. By the time Phil has gotten to the bottom of the stairs, he hears the noise he has come to hate the most. The chewing, the unending noise of chewing from his 350 lb wife. Phil pokes his head around the corner to see that Khet has already eaten a large box of pop tarts and is now devouring a family size box of Chicken in a Biscuit. Phil tries to back away slowly without alerting Khet, but he accidents snorts, causing Khet to immediately see him.

Khet’s eyes light up. “Oh Phil! I’m glad you are awake! Is it time to go shopping and then to The Rock Wood Fire Pizza and Pasta? I’m really excited for pizza and pasta and burgers!!” Phil can barely look at her, his black heart sinks. Where did this all go wrong? Phil nods and slowly heads for the toilet, he hopes to catch up sleep in the car today.

The toilet is among Phil’s favorite place to partake in WWE Champions. Phil gets a small bounce in his step, ready to pull that rare jpeg. Phil opens the door and is shocked to see his son Jasper the Cat, has had diarrhea in the bathroom before Phil could. This angers Phil, once again, his WWE Champions time is delayed due to the inconvenience caused by this bundle of fur.

Before Phil could yell at the cat, his mind thinks back to a cat video that made his giant wife laugh hysterically. Phil tried to laugh with Khet, but he couldn’t. He hasn’t heard the laughter in years and nothing brings him real joy anymore. Phil snorts sadly and prepares himself for another bout of diarrhea.
 
It's well known Khet is a weeb and he claims she watches the Yakuza streams cause she loves the game. It's probably her influence, either him repeating stuff she talks about or maybe even him trying to impress her.
As little as I think of Khet's intelligence given many things such as overpaying for piece of shit stainless steel fake katanas and... well everything else we know about her, she can't have told Dave all those complete falsehoods about Japanese culture right? Then again, thinking about it Phil absolutely loves putting words in other people's mouths. Khet probably once told him about the Christmas ad from decades ago which ran in Japan which put KFC on the map there and made their special Christmas menu so white haht pahpular that you need to preorder it weeks in advance. Phil was half paying attention to it because he was too busy being tipsy and tapping away on his phone watching sweaty men putting each other in painful holds from behind and thinking about the next robust slop he's gonna D'VOUR. Phil then combined the parts of the story that he remembers with his hatred of those darn dirty Nips and this is how we got "Japanese are so stupid they think KFC is robust gourmet-style authentic custom American cuisine." Dare I say, he took a nugget of truth and then used it to spin it and twist it into a lie.
 
New song by Shinko Fleur. The videos are getting better and better. Massive shoutouts!

Making mama Burnell cry...

DSP disrespected Snowkarl, Young Snowva responds by letting his mother know that he's a failure​


PyroAlert said:
Phil tries to back away slowly without alerting Khet, but he accidents snorts, causing Khet to immediately see him.
Fucking lol
 
sorry to spoil the fun, but phil has always been pro diddler.
he's pro-lgbt, from which 50% are diddlers.
if you quote me on that, I'll have to make a thread at /pol/ to gather all the available info and come back with facts.
:/ pol is sleeping
I checked out the thread. I got redpilled. Phil and (potential) pedos share the same vocabulary.
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Amen!
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LMAO "robust vocabulary" :story:
 
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