Corissa Enneking / fatgirlflow and Juliana "J" Aprileo / comfyfattravels - Delusional fat-acceptance lesbian couple, junk-food addicts with expensive taste, denied a mortgage due to excessive Doordash ordering

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Good fucking lord. When you’re trying to cut somebody off in a McDonald’s drive thru and a friendly finger wag (likely playful) because you gave somebody a jump scare by braking hard beside them in a tightly packed car lot sends you into a homicidal rage…. I have no words. Like does she know what she’s saying? She’s saying I would have ended this mans life with vehicular homicide by running him down in broad daylight because he wagged a finger at me. First off you’re fucking lying. You anit never been in a fight in your life. Second this is probably coming more from a place of food aggression than anything. And third…. Jesus Christ just because you spend years and years and years online pretending to be a victim of “society” and finally in your boring mundane life a very mild “aggression” happens. You are projecting all that pretend victim hood on some dude in a drive thru lol. I’m just shook she’s broadcasting without shame on Instagram to hundreds of people wanting to run a man down in cold blood for some nuggets. What a fat ass lol.

This isn't the first time Corissa has displayed food aggression either. One time she got mad at her dad eating off her plate at dinners and claimed it's a trigger.
I agree with the principle of dry shampoo but it can cause hair loss, especially if you use it too much and don't remove the build-up with proper washing.
I'm confused why they didn't buy some newish suburban house with accessible features. Surely there's houses meant for seniors and the handicapped with features that could also benefit deathfats.

That is a straight-up shitty tattoo. The drawing is absolutely terrible, the linework is scratchy and wavering, and the shading lacks any subtlety. You can barely tell it's supposed to be a Kewpie.

This is just garbage, all for an image that has no obvious point or personal meaning, other than, "I wanna get another tattoo!" and it's on her body forever. This is the kind of tattoo you get when you impulsively decide you want one, and pick the artist based upon who happens to have a slot open first.

It's the kind of shitty tattoo Corissa deserves. So knock yourself out, Coco; cover yourself in that scratchy shit.

Phil Harel moment.

 

[Honey Blossom]

This isn't the first time Corissa has displayed food aggression either. One time she got mad at her dad eating off her plate at dinners and claimed it's a trigger.
I agree with the principle of dry shampoo but it can cause hair loss, especially if you use it too much and don't remove the build-up with proper washing.
I'm confused why they didn't buy some newish suburban house with accessible features. Surely there's houses meant for seniors and the handicapped with features that could also benefit deathfats.

I’m fairly certain she bitched about having a hard time being approved for any kind of loan back in May. Mostly attributed to her ridiculous amount of debt & inability to prove income. She ended up getting an FHA loan (which they struggled to be approved for if I recall). Most sellers don’t want to deal with that, especially when there’s offers from other buyers with a conventional loan.

It seems like she got this place because they had limited options. Also she’s stupid and decided she needed a house ASAP. The idea was floated that it was due to her arch-nemesis, Anna O’Brien, buying a house around this time. But Im not sure if they ever truly clarified why they decided now (with this housing market and their inability to get a decent loan) was the time to buy a place.

 

[behavioral swamp thang]

Torrid should just trace and cut a hole out of a curtain and be like "That'll be $79.99, now shut the fuck up."

 

[Angry New Ager]

I’m fairly certain she bitched about having a hard time being approved for any kind of loan back in May. Mostly attributed to her ridiculous amount of debt & inability to prove income. She ended up getting an FHA loan (which they struggled to be approved for if I recall). Most sellers don’t want to deal with that, especially when there’s offers from other buyers with a conventional loan.

It seems like she got this place because they had limited options. Also she’s stupid and decided she needed a house ASAP. The idea was floated that it was due to her arch-nemesis, Anna O’Brien, buying a house around this time. But Im not sure if they ever truly clarified why they decided now (with this housing market and their inability to get a decent loan) was the time to buy a place.

I suspect they may have been having issues with their neighbors, their landlord, or possibly both. What those issues may have been, I don't know. But two sanctimonious deathfats who admit they argue all the time, who can barely get off their asses to do anything, and who were paying someone else to walk their two small dogs because neither could be fucking bothered to do it themselves? Yeah, that sounds like a couple who will make great neighbors, and be able to take good care of a rental property, without getting into petty conflicts or making enemies.

 

[Organic's calories free]

I suspect they may have been having issues with their neighbors, their landlord, or possibly both. What those issues may have been, I don't know. But two sanctimonious deathfats who admit they argue all the time, who can barely get off their asses to do anything, and who were paying someone else to walk their two small dogs because neither could be fucking bothered to do it themselves? Yeah, that sounds like a couple who will make great neighbors, and be able to take good care of a rental property, without getting into petty conflicts or making enemies.

I do remember C bitched about her neighbor, who complained that dogs were pooping on their lawn. C was smugly replying: "but we do have a fence". No you don't. She was leashing her dog at her old place.

 

[Tumbo]

It's not just the bathroom. My guess is that Corissa asking her sister and brother-in-law to do pretty major repairs on the place (let's be honest that's what it really is) is code for "we thought we could make this place livable with a few hours of light work, we were wrong, we're in serious trouble, HELP!". That place looked tiny and dilapidated - I would NOT want to live there as is especially with cold coming in.

Ditto there's no way in Hell that place is properly insulated now I'm not exactly sure how cold Kansas gets regardless they will feel every minor temperature fluctuation.

 

[rutinacea max]

Looks like her comments tipped off Ash as well:
View attachment 2688564

i know this is coco the crazy cunt's corner but allow me to indulge in mild autism for a sec because

Spoiler: ...the fuck you mean by size 40?

okay, let's extrapolate given the current horrid size chart:

in a rather conservative scenario, in which we go 6 inches up per every size for every measurement, presuming that for sizes beyond 30 tarps have enough of a give to allow for a 4 inch range everywhere, the hypothetical size 40 would be:
bust: 96-100 in / 243.8-254 cm
waist: 90-94 in / 228.6-238.8 cm
low hip: 102-108 in / 259.1-274.3 cm

in the most conservative scenario, in which we dgaf and just add 20 inches to every max measurement per 10 sizes, it'd be:
bust: max 90 in
waist: max 84 in (213.4 cm)
low hip: max 96 in
which is still mindfuckingboggling.
for proper scale, Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in history whose height could've been verified, stood at 272 cm / 107 in

why would you bother with clothes at that point jfc

 

[Cripple]

i know this is coco the crazy cunt's corner but allow me to indulge in mild autism for a sec because

Spoiler: ...the fuck you mean by size 40?

okay, let's extrapolate given the current horrid size chart:
View attachment 2689534
in a rather conservative scenario, in which we go 6 inches up per every size for every measurement, presuming that for sizes beyond 30 tarps have enough of a give to allow for a 4 inch range everywhere, the hypothetical size 40 would be:
bust: 96-100 in / 243.8-254 cm
waist: 90-94 in / 228.6-238.8 cm
low hip: 102-108 in / 259.1-274.3 cm

in the most conservative scenario, in which we dgaf and just add 20 inches to every max measurement per 10 sizes, it'd be:
bust: max 90 in
waist: max 84 in (213.4 cm)
low hip: max 96 in
which is still mindfuckingboggling.
for proper scale, Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in history whose height could've been verified, stood at 272 cm / 107 in

why would you bother with clothes at that point jfc

Hey some fatties want to be formally dressed for their "rag on a stick" interview.

 

[Swein Forkbeard]

What gets me about the hambeast brigade’s constant whine of “We need Torrid to go up to size fordeeeeeee!” Is how they present it as some sort of noble civil rights demand. Like, the Chartists marched for universal suffrage. Rosa Parks sat down on the bus. And now some bloated land whales wedged behind their keyboards are posting about “needing” more and bigger tarps! It’s exactly the same guize! A noble and historic movement for the brotherhood of man!

 

[rocknrollmartian]

Ditto there's no way in Hell that place is properly insulated now I'm not exactly sure how cold Kansas gets regardless they will feel every minor temperature fluctuation.

Oh, it gets cold, often down into the teens and low twenties. They're going to whine so much. Corissa already hates winter and claims to have extra-bad SAD.

I still would love to know what drew Corissa to this particular house. It's plain, not cottage-core cute or charming. It's obviously too small for her needs. The lot is nearly two acres, which is nice for normies who don't mind mowing the lawn and raking up leaves, but that's not our Coco. It seems like there's not really privacy on her street. Also, she hates small-town residents and politics. She's such a fucking deluded weirdo, lol.

 

[glass_houses]

I still would love to know what drew Corissa to this particular house. It's plain, not cottage-core cute or charming. It's obviously too small for her needs. The lot is nearly two acres, which is nice for normies who don't mind mowing the lawn and raking up leaves, but that's not our Coco. It seems like there's not really privacy on her street. Also, she hates small-town residents and politics. She's such a fucking deluded weirdo, lol.

I honestly think it's as simple as it being all she could afford.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

I honestly think it's as simple as it being all she could afford.

Stark truth. Also, I suppose Corissa has to live relatively close to her family due to her self-inflicted disabilities and codependent mindset. Otherwise, I don't see what was stopping her from expanding her search to Topeka, the greater KC metro area, etc. Even around Lawrence, I think she could've found a better fit with a larger updated bathroom, but her criteria was probably strange and fantasy-based, and I knew she would somehow get her sister involved to clean up her mess. She has no patience, either. Her executive functioning skills are basically nonexistent.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Stark truth. Also, I suppose Corissa has to live relatively close to her family due to her self-inflicted disabilities and codependent mindset. Otherwise, I don't see what was stopping her from expanding her search to Topeka, the greater KC metro area, etc. Even around Lawrence, I think she could've found a better fit with a larger updated bathroom, but her criteria was probably strange and fantasy-based, and I knew she would somehow get her sister involved to clean up her mess. She has no patience, either. Her executive functioning skills are basically nonexistent.

I also think some of it is a pretty common thing for naive homebuyers: a real estate agent sells you on the concept of renovation. It's got "good bones" -- it "just needs a little updating". She probably figured she could do it all cheap with free labor from the sister's boyfriend. She has no idea that even with free labor, the cost to do major renovations is going to be huge, especially with construction material shortages. Also, some of that work is going to require a licensed professional and inspections to make sure it is up to code.

Once the reality that she can't really make the house the way she fantasized about hits her, it is going to be hard for Corissa to handle it. She and J are going to start fighting even more. I honestly think this house might be the thing that kills Corissa. The stress over it is going to take a real toll on her.

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

When the housing market takes a downturn, which it eventually will (frankly, what's going on now has all the earmarks of another "bubble") and they decide to sell then, they are straight-up fucked. I'm sure they couldn't afford much of down payment. When they find out just how much renovations will cost, they either won't do them and try to sell it in the same condition as when they bought it or do them (with the help of a homeowners loan if they can swing it) and be even more in the hole.

 

[Gramlol]

Oh, it gets cold, often down into the teens and low twenties. They're going to whine so much. Corissa already hates winter and claims to have extra-bad SAD.

I still would love to know what drew Corissa to this particular house. It's plain, not cottage-core cute or charming. It's obviously too small for her needs. The lot is nearly two acres, which is nice for normies who don't mind mowing the lawn and raking up leaves, but that's not our Coco. It seems like there's not really privacy on her street. Also, she hates small-town residents and politics. She's such a fucking deluded weirdo, lol.

She's an idiot who can't plan ahead and wanted to add 'house' to her basket to buy. This was the only house they could afford.
Buying a thing is dopamine hit.
Corissa and J haven't showered since they moved in (when?)
J has gone silent in frozen terror and roll yeast irritation
After a 40 min round trip to order 6 big Macs Corissa admitted to wanting to kill a man at McDonald's drive through because (??)
Corissa's auspiciously cheery sister and her vanlife hubby offered to help -renovate Corissa's house- over -one single month- so it'll be totally fixed you guys, it's wholesome af having family times and home renovations don't even take that long so it'll all be supe cute in a month eeeasy

J can't fit in the bathroom to pee and is moving about at night to turn on the light and interrogate it's horrors in relation to her mass, in relation to her comfort, in relation to her continued ideological subscription to '''ComfyFat', in relation to a retaliatory C who is ashamed to marry her

C is thrilled with herself because fuck y'all, she's queen, Fat Bitch t shirt line

..that's it, that's the reason

 

[blablabla]

Spoiler: "Coco on her ig stories now"

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she looks like horatio sainz

 

[That_Ain't_Mayo]

I'm late, I know, but when I saw those selfies of Corissa in the McDonald's drive-through, I legit thought her hair was still wet from the shower (despite knowing that she can't actually fit in her new Prairie Dream Cottage shower). And then I realized that it's just that unwashed and greasy.

 

[MicrowavedApple]

Dumb question, but there are many places in the U.S. where people with sizable down payments are edged out by all cash buyers - would the seller know that Corissa and Jay were using an FHA loan? I can't imagine they'd be attractive buyers to anyone who wasn't desperate to sell or had no other takers. The larger, more urban places in KS probably have competition and multiple offers that Corissa and Jay could never hope to match.

 

[Unsweet]

Dumb question, but there are many places in the U.S. where people with sizable down payments are edged out by all cash buyers - would the seller know that Corissa and Jay were using an FHA loan? I can't imagine they'd be attractive buyers to anyone who wasn't desperate to sell or had no other takers. The larger, more urban places in KS probably have competition and multiple offers that Corissa and Jay could never hope to match.

From my understanding sellers can tell what sort of loan is being used and like you said government backed loans are not appealing in this market. This is exactly why they got the house they did. I'm going to bet that between the location and the awkward layout the property had little to no competition.

 

[Angry New Ager]

Dumb question, but there are many places in the U.S. where people with sizable down payments are edged out by all cash buyers - would the seller know that Corissa and Jay were using an FHA loan? I can't imagine they'd be attractive buyers to anyone who was desperate to sell and had no other takers. The larger, more urban places in KS probably have competition and multiple offers that Corissa and Jay could never hope to match.

The house Corissa bought (Juliana's credit rating was too abysmal to include her on the mortgage) had been on and off the market for the last few years, with no takers. Baldwin City isn't one of those places with a hot real estate market—neither is Lawrence, but the presence of the university keeps the real estate market there much more expensive and competitive than a sub-prime buyer like Corissa can manage. I'm sure she tried to buy in Lawrence, only for everything she saw on Zillow to sell out from under her to people who actually have their financial shit together—not even cash buyers, but people who had little or no difficulty getting standard mortgage loans. Most real estate agents won't even show you houses these days unless you've at least got pre-approval for a mortgage (or cash), because it's a waste of time.

So after seeing enough houses in Lawrence elude her grasp, and knowing she couldn't compete, FOMO may have kicked in, spurring her to look beyond Lawrence and take the first okay-enough house that she could actually get into—which was this one. It's an irrational choice, and doesn't suit their needs, but nobody else wanted it, and that's how Corissa ended up with it.

The owner was probably willing to wait while Corissa got her FHA financing straightened out if Corissa was the first serious prospective buyer in a long time. Having an unsold house in another place is a massive albatross around one's neck, and I'm sure the previous owner was ready to take what they could get for it and close out that chapter of their life. And if your house isn't that great, that means you have to work with the buyer you get, rather than the buyer you want.

The house is in a small town; it's dated and energy inefficient and needs a lot of work to update it, and the yard is a lot more than most people who who would choose to live in-town would care to maintain (while, at the same time, affording no privacy). There's a community pool adjoining the backside of the property, which means additional traffic and noise.

It's not a terrible house at all, and could be made really cute and charming by somebody who knows what they're doing, but there are plenty of good reasons why it got no takers until Corissa, desperate to buy a house and not capable of thinking rationally about it, came along.