What these guys do to women is worse than slapping the wife around a little like it was the 60's. A black eye will heal in a couple days, but the scars of constant mental torture and gaslighting, daily humiliation and destroying someone's sense of truth and reality (while insisting it's
troo love

) do more damage and may never heal.
Apart from "trans" kids, trans widows are the saddest victims of this clown world. But it doesn't have to be like this. Tolerance got us here, so I guess the lesson is that some things don't deserve to be tolerated.
Oh I agree 100% with everything in your post. I think some of these women who meet a "closeted" troon, or find out their husband is one, think that it will be like being married to the gay guy they secretly had a thing for except this time he feels the same about her. This very romanticized stereotype, particularly in older women (40+). I don't think they think for one minute it is living with or marrying a man who will steal your underwear to wear, embarrass you in company with how he looks dresses and acts, become utterly obsessed with this porn-fuelled female version of himself, make you sexually uncomfortable and gaslight you into believing you are the problem or force you into open relationships.
I used to think the idea of putting men, even chemically castrated men, in domestic abuse/rape crisis centers or female prisons was insane. They are still men. It was insane to me that some rape crisis centers put a man as their CEO, and again his main obsession is troonery - to the point he has called women "privileged" and said they should "reframe their trauma". Troons being foul about women is nothing new because they are incels but this is a man talking in the context of service users - or in other words, rape victims. I don't know how rape victims are "privileged". I thought them wanting to go in there was an extension of the delusion - they were offered separate spaces away from men and it still was not good enough. Of course you are not being treated like any other woman because you are not women - I am still baffled as to why we still have to listen to these comparisons to lesbians; black women; blonde women... these are all categories of women. Trans women are men. I will be pleasant to you, especially if I can see you are making a genuine effort. I will leave you alone (mostly because I would rather you leave me alone) but I still know that you are a man. I have seen some of them play this psychological game where they say that you can believe what you want about them as they have no control over it. This is true, no one has any control over what anyone else thinks of them. They still get upset when you tell them you don't believe a man identifying as a woman should be allowed into an emergency shelter for women traumatized by men - so in other words, you do wish to control how I perceive you.
When you look at what trans widows are going through and then consider their obsession with domestic abuse/rape crisis centers and prisons, it becomes very dark. These are men who have kept their partners/wives in situations where they have no one to talk to, including therapists. I have seen some women make passing reference to how their friends want them to leave (if your friends hate your partner...) In a matter of minutes I could easily access men telling other men who post very openly about their pornography addictions, among minors, and sissy fetishes that they are definitely women; men admitting that their transition started out as a fetishization; men telling other men to lay off the porn for a while to see if their "euphoria boners" stop. I don't think they just want in these centers because of their fetish - I think they want in these centers for the same reason some of these men demand access to words like "mother". It is a way of abusing their partners and wives further. An abuser wants their victim to feel like they have nowhere in the world to turn to and no one will believe them if they try to get help. They want to discredit and smear the victim.
We would never have put a "cis" man as CEO of a rape crisis center let alone allowed him to say a fraction of the things troons have been allowed to say, but if that man puts on a dress it is "groundbreaking". Now we must consider that our views around topics like domestic abuse and rape may be offensive and fall into "gendered narratives" - and while men can experience these issues, it is odd how the focus is always on "transphobia". There is no mention of issues such as male CSA, or how suppression of this can damage men and how they interact in their future relationships, for example. The focus is always on troons as the victims. Part of me saw their desperation to gain access as just an extension of the fetish - you must let me in because I am a real woman and I even fetishize female trauma. But now there is also a part of me that thinks it is designed to make sure partners and wives know there is nowhere to turn if they do try to leave.