11/06/2021 Ethan Ralph Totaled His Car - Hard to drive with hooves.

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Cause of the wreck?

  • The other driver.

    Votes: 18 1.9%

  • Ralph was under the influence.

    Votes: 100 10.7%

  • Ralph was reading KF on his phone.

    Votes: 270 28.9%

  • Ralph was under the influence AND reading KF on his phone.

    Votes: 524 56.1%

  • Driving with hooves is hard.

    Votes: 169 18.1%

  • Ralph was letting the gunt drive.

    Votes: 204 21.8%

  • Lost control while sharting.

    Votes: 287 30.7%
  • Total voters
    934
  • Poll closed .
Ralph’s next Guntmobile after being unable to afford the repairs and insurance on his totaled Nissan he doesn’t own.
706337A7-2FAE-4CAD-903A-8C55150EB79B.jpeg
 
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verifymejoshuaconnormoon said:
View attachment 2694597
it’s ok the ralphamale is SAVED
t | a
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I doubt this very highly, by UK standards at the very least (Don't know about America but I imagine it's similar) it's a structural write-off.

This would be due to the damage on the B pillar and the impact bending the roof. Chances are the floor has crumpled as well and the passenger seat isn't sitting where it's meant to be. To fix that it's going to have to spend a shitload of time on a jig to straighten out the monocoque alongside all the of the replacement doors, airbags, dash, seats, and whatever further repairs are required to the cooling system, engine, steering rack, suspension etc.

Null said:
Why is Ralph even driving beaters to begin with? If I had his money I'd get a Cadillac or something.
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Brand new Camry(?) or other such bugman saloon isn't much of a beater to be fair. A beater is like some $1500 shitbox off facebook marketplace.
 
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SPERGSTROM said:
The harvest never ends.

I find it out how people pay silly amounts of money per month to 'rent' a car. I don't know how it works in yankie land but is Ralph still on the hook for monthly repayments if he's been found to be at fault for the accident? Then again Ralph would probably refuse to pay if he still had to make the payments.

This brings me to another point, why spent all the money on monthly payments when you could get a old car with great specs, say for example a early 2000's bmw with climate control, cruise control, automatic headlights, automatic wipers etc etc which still looks good in that retro way and is simple and cheap to fix as parts huge selection of aftermarket parts are available. Then you know spent that money saved on fucking living better, buy some new underwear, have a nice coloured variety of compression socks.

I mean this is a man who had what over 50k+ of savings at one point? I've known people with less money start their own property portfolio etc.

But you just keep on winning there Ralph! KILLSTREAM BABY!
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you want to know how i know you've never owned a early 2000s BMW? trying to replace a part in those fucking things is like a IRL version of playing Opus Magnum.

i'll agree with you on owing a 20 year luxury car though, its long enough out that you don't have to worry about insurance but you also don't have to worry about shit breaking down either. most cars from the 2000s can easily hit 150k miles and still run pretty well. anything under a decade old is starting to creep up to its new and on the lot prices.
 
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Kramer on the phone said:
you want to know how i know you've never owned a early 2000s BMW? trying to replace a part in those fucking things is like a IRL version of playing Opus Magnum.

i'll agree with you on owing a 20 year luxury car though, its long enough out that you don't have to worry about insurance but you also don't have to worry about shit breaking down either. most cars from the 2000s can easily hit 150k miles and still run pretty well. anything under a decade old is starting to creep up to its new and on the lot prices.
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Counterpoint as an early-2000s BMW owner, they're honestly not that hard to look after. Just make sure you know a decent breaker, don't buy from a retard owner, and avoid every 4 cylinder they have ever made, and you'll be reet
 
It really does look like he got T-boned by another driver running a red light. It’s a very clean hit, Ralph must’ve just gotten a green light or something and a negro hit him. Glad May wasn’t in there because I don’t think anyone would hear the end of it and wouldn’t be very funny.
 
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kainvnod said:
In the blood feud Ethan Ralph vs. Josh Moon, Ralph is losing.
And Josh isn't even doing anything.
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I feel like right now is a great time to prep for an upcoming victory lap. My guess is the Chris Coins went well, so I have my suggestion for the next Kiwi product:

A private label bottle of bourbon called: Maker's Shart, wax dipped in Kiwi colors. Bottling runs about $15 - $18 for a decently premium product and could retail for $60 to $75. Maybe even personalized ice cubes or glass sets as well. Everyone can enjoy the Guntmageddon together.
 
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Christorian X said:
I feel like right now is a great time to prep for an upcoming victory lap. My guess is the Chris Coins went well, so I have my suggestion for the next Kiwi product:

A private label bottle of bourbon called: Maker's Shart, wax dipped in Kiwi colors. Bottling runs about $15 - $18 for a decently premium product and could retail for $60 to $75. Maybe even personalized ice cubes or glass sets as well. Everyone can enjoy the Guntmageddon together.
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I would like to have a corncob with that, fresh from the harvest.
 
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