DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[marlintan]

Phil's audience is just a bunch of attention deprived weirdos.

Don't act like marlintan chat is any different? cast the first stone and all that.

It's from the gin. Try drinking every night for several nights past your 20's. This niggas been doing it for God knows how many consecutive days/years.

I've done that and i just have a smoker's cough. Debunked.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Here are the ongoing stats for the current 3 white-hot new releases that are going to save the business:

Spoiler: Forza Horizon 5

Total # streams: 4
Total time: 10 hours & 29 minutes

Average tips per stream (gross): $68
Average Super Chats per stream(gross): $42

- Average $ per stream (combined gross): $111​

​

Average $/hour: $42

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Spoiler: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Total # streams: 5
Total time: 15 hours & 38 minutes

Average tips per stream (gross): $165
Average Super Chats per stream (gross): $77

- Average $ per stream (combined gross): $242​

Average $/hour: $77

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Spoiler: Guardians of the Galaxy

Total # streams: 3
Total time: 9 hours & 24 minutes

Average tips per stream (gross): $130
Average Super Chats per stream (gross): $48

- Average $ per stream (combined gross): $178​

Average $/hour: $57

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And of these 3 it is Guardians he would like to go away? But Forza is just A OK?

To anybody that thinks that greed is DSP's most defining attribute things like this should make it a bit more clear that while he is a greedy piggy that is not what drives him.

He wants easy money, he wants money he have to do the least amount of work for. This shows that he should yeet Forza, but Forza is a game that does not require him to do anything the way he plays it makes it a car themed walking sim.

And as piss easy GotG is on normal difficulty there is still a lot of thing going on that he has to follow so it's more work for him. So even if it clearly makes more money that Forza, it is GotG that is in the most danger of getting yeeted.

 

[Cataloons]

Why is everything an "era" with this man? Has he lost all other measurments of time from his vocabulary?

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

Why is everything an "era" with this man? Has he lost all other measurments of time from his vocabulary?

I would argue that it is arguably an attempt to sound more well read and educated thus he is impressing the wheelchairs. But the truth of the matter is that there could be other explanations ergo it is not a black and white situation but overall a mixed bag...sound good?

 

[Stephen Hawking]

I would argue that it is arguably an attempt to sound more well read and educated thus he is impressing the wheelchairs. But the truth of the matter is that there could be other explanations ergo it is not a black and white situation but overall a mixed bag...sound good?

I too am like Phil.

I use big words I fully don't understand also to make myself look more photosynthesis to my younger peers.

 

[TurdFondler]

I could watch DSP take corners in Forza forever. Each one it's like he finds a new way to find the shittiest and slowest line. I've straight up watched him somehow make turns longer than they should be by veering from inside to out, gun it before a hairpin or just ignore he fact a turn is happening until halfway through.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I could watch DSP take corners in Forza forever. Each one it's like he finds a new way to find the shittiest and slowest line. I've straight up watched him somehow make turns longer than they should be by veering from inside to out, gun it before a hairpin or just ignore he fact a turn is happening until halfway through.

I find it remarkable that he still doesn't understand how to take corners or do sharp turns in any racing game, he can drive in real life (allegedly), he's been doing this khantent creator jahb for 13 years and God knows how many racing games he's already played and his skills are still on the same level that my skills were when I was 10 and played NFS Underground for the first time. Finger always on the gas button, both the regular and handbrake button might as well not exist, trying to take on corners at high speed and slamming the wall, going off track or taking the most inefficient line possible. When he oversteers and tries to correct himself he keeps slamming the gas button so he keeps fishtailing and struggles correcting the car's course. Let's not even get into the fact that he now constantly eyes the fucking streamchat and checks if he got any tips, it happens every 10-20 seconds or so, so he pays no attention to the road and starts crashing into stuff or flying right off the road. It's what I imagine would happen if both a rally driver and co-driver were texting and driving at the same time during a race. It's just a complete disaster any way you look at it. He's lucky that mahdenrized AAA games make their games so easy that even the lowest common denominator useless eater fleshbags like Phil can excel at the game, in Forza's case through various assist mechanics and a time rewind mechanic.

 

[TurdFondler]

when I was 10 and played NFS Underground for the first time. Finger always on the gas button, both the regular and handbrake button might as well not exist,

Same but it was NFS Hot Pursuit. I don't think I've seen his brake lights light up even once. Why do moron nudniks even put brakes into a race car? It's about going fast, nevermind the bugged corner mechanics.

 

[Derich 2nd of coomland]

I could watch DSP take corners in Forza forever. Each one it's like he finds a new way to find the shittiest and slowest line. I've straight up watched him somehow make turns longer than they should be by veering from inside to out, gun it before a hairpin or just ignore he fact a turn is happening until halfway through.

As someone who enjoys racing games a lot and spend an autistic amount of time fine tuning my cars to suit both the role, track and my driving style/skill. I can only watch Dave ''driving'' in short spurts. But I'm genuinely happy that his cluster fuck driving brings joy to fellow tractors.

I find it remarkable that he still doesn't understand how to take corners or do sharp turns in any racing game, he can drive in real life (allegedly), he's been doing this khantent creator jahb for 13 years and God knows how many racing games he's already played and his skills are still on the same level that my skills were when I was 10 and played NFS Underground for the first time. Finger always on the gas button, both the regular and handbrake button might as well not exist, trying to take on corners at high speed and slamming the wall, going off track or taking the most inefficient line possible. When he oversteers and tries to correct himself he keeps slamming the gas button so he keeps fishtailing and struggles correcting the car's course. Let's not even get into the fact that he now constantly eyes the fucking streamchat and checks if he got any tips, it happens every 10-20 seconds or so, so he pays no attention to the road and starts crashing into stuff or flying right off the road. It's what I imagine would happen if both a rally driver and co-driver were texting and driving at the same time during a race. It's just a complete disaster any way you look at it. He's lucky that mahdenrized AAA games make their games so easy that even the lowest common denominator useless eater fleshbags like Phil can excel at the game, in Forza's case through various assist mechanics and a time rewind mechanic.

Driving games is probably the genre that best highlights his total and complete inability to learn from his mistakes. His driving (in games at least) has not improved the slightest.

He is making the exact same mistakes today that he made 6-10 years ago. His complete lack of understanding of momentum and the physics at play is frankly fascinating. The more I watch him the more certain I am that he is legit sub 90 IQ maybe even sub 80.

And from watching his lack of understanding of the basics of driving in games, I'm fairly sure he's a shit driver IRL as well.

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

DSP talking about his hole-ridden boxers recently:

"You know I keep stuff clean alright, just being honest. That's one thing about me I've always been a more cleanly person. I hate slovenliness. I hate things that are dirty, disgusting, I like things clean okay."

View attachment 2727410
.......riiiiight.

The guy likes clean things so much it took him getting an ear infection to finally decide to do deep cleans of his “””office””” every week (which he never did, not even once)

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

Wasn't Froggy the Kid confirmed to be a sock awhile ago? I'm sure I seen it in ether this thread or the fan one.

Got the post I think: https://kiwifarms.net/threads/onlyicedcoffee-sperg-containment.96393/post-10438511

Yeah Froggy the Kid is the same person as six70two. Somehow Phil forgot that they’re the same person.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

And from watching his lack of understanding of the basics of driving in games, I'm fairly sure he's a shit driver IRL as well.

Pretty sure the reason he needs a horse drawn carriage is because insurance companies and police don't buy "But I was breaking!" His reflexes behind the wheel may only be slightly better than with a controller, but probably not much.

His refusal or inability to learn and the fact that he would not be able to whinge his way out of being found at fault for his utter incompetence as a man means driving is too dangerous.

 

[NynchLiggers]

Pretty sure the reason he needs a horse drawn carriage is because insurance companies and police don't buy "But I was breaking!" His reflexes behind the wheel may only be slightly better than with a controller, but probably not much.

His refusal or inability to learn and the fact that he would not be able to whinge his way out of being found at fault for his utter incompetence as a man means driving is too dangerous.

Phil probably believes he doesn't even need to learn proper driving beyond going to local chain restaurants due to his shut-in nature.

 

[NursezillaX]

Does he not understand that sarcasm isn't inherently funny? His sarcastic comments are always so fucking bland and on-the-nose.

He's been trying to pull off this self-deprecating kind of humor thing for awhile now where he says shit about how it must be torture for people to see him on cam because he's so ugly, and yesterday even said (sarcastically, allegedly) how because he really needed tips so he could get groceries, 'of course, that means I want you all to empty your wallets and give me hundreds of dollars'. The problem with him trying to use that type of humor is that it just doesn't work when you really ARE a greedy shithead. Instead, you come off looking like a clueless dick with no self-awareness who seems to be almost mocking the people you're talking to.

He’s openly disrespecting them. Scamming with exceptional tales and rants, burping into the mic, showing up late and talking far longer than usual. He seriously thinks it’s all funny.

Yesterday's prestream was one of his most disgusting ones I've seen him do. Watching him belch and practically hack up a lung in such a purposely obnoxious way got so fucking gross that I had to stop watching.

He always says that people just have to deal with his nasal bullshit because he can't control it and it'd be impossible to have to keep muting his mic as often as he'd need to while trying to play a game. Even if you concede the first part, despite knowing it's a complete lie because he absolutely CAN control it, and then the second part because you say, ok I can see that'd be difficult, how tf does he explain or justify doing stuff like he was yesterday, especially with how he was playing it up and exaggerating it?

It's not like the guy has to be Miss Manners, and there are definitely certain times with certain people where being vulgar can be funny. There's a point though where you should become mature enough (and in his case since it's his 'business', professional enough) to know that shit is gross, rude, and juvenile. Especially given that there are definitely at least some people that are listening to you with headphones. It just so openly shows the contempt he has for the people watching him, and that he's just there to collect whatever money he can and not to put out decent content. He definitely doesn't give af about the quality of what he puts out, because all that gross shit he does stays in his 'on demand' videos. I can't imagine someone stumbling across one of his videos and watching it without thinking it's total garbage, and then never watching again.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

His refusal or inability to learn

It's the latter. A normal animal, whether we're talking about a human being or an amoeba, inevitably encounters dangerous things and learns to avoid them. With humans, we generally don't worry ourselves too much with how it's "bullshit" that we can drown, burn, fall from great heights, get eaten by a predatory creature, etc., we just do our best to NOT have that happen to us.

Phil, whether from growing up far too spoiled or simply be genetically destined to function this way, doesn't have the ability to just learn to avoid hazards and not ponder it being "bullshit". Everything he doesn't want in life, commonplace or dangerous or no, is "bullshit" to him, it's not supposed to happen (to him anyway, everybody else can go fuck themselves), and his emotions fixate on that part without any room left for learning lessons.

This is why he doesn't hate who he is, even though it has cost him dearly. He simply never emotionally matured past the age of three, and therefore physically cannot focus on anything other than what's "not supposed to happen".

@NursezillaX Exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about. Phil doesn't give any consideration to what would make for a more appealing stream because that's not something he's supposed to have to do to make money, therefore the concept can fuck off. He's also supposed to be able to practically flex on his paypigs that he really does expect to get hundred of dollars (his tips goal proves this), so he insists on making such comments despite it being one of the things we can point to as proof of him being a sleazy piece of shit.

As much as the pigroach hates us documenting his shitty behavior, he's able to keep doing it in spite of that because that's how his life is supposed to go: he does what he wants, and if life punishes him, it was in the wrong, not him. Like a three year-old sees the world.

 

[gaarashatan]

DSP talking about his hole-ridden boxers recently:

"You know I keep stuff clean alright, just being honest. That's one thing about me I've always been a more cleanly person. I hate slovenliness. I hate things that are dirty, disgusting, I like things clean okay."

View attachment 2727410
.......riiiiight.

not to mention his condo with all his statues. bro is a dirty ass hoarder

 

[Freedom Fighter]

Yeah Froggy the Kid is the same person as six70two. Somehow Phil forgot that they’re the same person.

Just Gin rot things.

 

[Iron Hamster]

Imagine if Derich did make an account here, he craves attention so I could only imagine he'd @ whoever he thinks is most important over and over with inane shit or even worse Phil playthrough facts.

The quadruple posts would collapse the site.

Will Dave be friends with Hazer again?
View attachment 2727109

You don't remove them because you need the appearance of having friends. And I'd guess it's actually pronounced hay-zer.

 

[marlintan]

The quadruple posts would collapse the site.

You don't remove them because you need the appearance of having friends. And I'd guess it's actually pronounced hay-zer.

derich would love this place as much as this fagtown seems to love him, TBH.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

not to mention his condo with all his statues. bro is a dirty ass hoarder

Leave it to Phil to say terrible things about himself even if you believe his lies. If what he says is true, that means his "office" where he conducts "business" means so little to him that it's exempt from the cleanliness he asserts about his personality. It's obviously gross in there, so how else could you explain it if the rest of his condo were to be immaculate all the time?

Of course, we know the truth, because he has admitted to only bathing twice a week, eating everything on paper plates to avoid dishes, and he never eats without being in visible pain anymore. None of those things paint a picture of someone who spends much time keeping their home presentable. Dude can't even be bothered to shave properly so that HE looks presentable, let alone his streaming room.