Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[bored loser]

In my experience, once they fully commit and identify as trans (as opposed to questioning/playing with pronouns or fashion), it's too late to get to them. They've already been sucked into the trans void and have been told that anybody questioning is just an evil transphobic bigot who needs to be cut off ASAP. If you can get to them before that, it's helpful if you're the same sex as them because you can do things like, "Oh, yeah, I feel like that sometimes, and so do a whole bunch of other guys/girls I know. It's just a quirk/societal thing/something that doesn't matter (like hobbies)." I'm not sure how you would go about it if you were the opposite sex... When I identified as nonbinary, if a man had told me that lots of women feel uncomfortable with something, I would've called him a mansplainer. How would he know?

I wish I knew how to actually get to people after they identify as trans. From other detransitioners and desisters, it seems to be a sudden epiphany. Sometimes it's spurned from being around the trans community for so long that they get sick of some aspect of it and realize that that's not what they want and there are huge logical flaws in the community. Sometimes it's because they have a medical crisis related to their transition. I think one of the saddest ones I see often is women who used to love to sing realizing that their voice is now permanently gone because of testosterone, so now not only are they miserable, but one of the only things that gave them joy is gone forever.

Since I last posted here about all my friends being trans, four more people I know have come out as trans. God help me. I was really hopeful that some of them would hold out since they made it this far despite having some of the "obvious signs". I don't know if I live in some queer vortex or if I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I'm absolutely sick of the trans movement eating up all my friends and replacing them with shells of people who can only converse about their "titty skittles", future top surgeries, or "waaaaaaah JK Rowling is an evil terf bigot". How the hell can they make every single conversation turn into something trans related?

 

[Squirrel Nutkin]

In my experience, once they fully commit and identify as trans (as opposed to questioning/playing with pronouns or fashion), it's too late to get to them. They've already been sucked into the trans void and have been told that anybody questioning is just an evil transphobic bigot who needs to be cut off ASAP. If you can get to them before that, it's helpful if you're the same sex as them because you can do things like, "Oh, yeah, I feel like that sometimes, and so do a whole bunch of other guys/girls I know. It's just a quirk/societal thing/something that doesn't matter (like hobbies)." I'm not sure how you would go about it if you were the opposite sex... When I identified as nonbinary, if a man had told me that lots of women feel uncomfortable with something, I would've called him a mansplainer. How would he know?

I wish I knew how to actually get to people after they identify as trans. From other detransitioners and desisters, it seems to be a sudden epiphany. Sometimes it's spurned from being around the trans community for so long that they get sick of some aspect of it and realize that that's not what they want and there are huge logical flaws in the community. Sometimes it's because they have a medical crisis related to their transition. I think one of the saddest ones I see often is women who used to love to sing realizing that their voice is now permanently gone because of testosterone, so now not only are they miserable, but one of the only things that gave them joy is gone forever.

Since I last posted here about all my friends being trans, four more people I know have come out as trans. God help me. I was really hopeful that some of them would hold out since they made it this far despite having some of the "obvious signs". I don't know if I live in some queer vortex or if I'm hanging out with the wrong crowd, but I'm absolutely sick of the trans movement eating up all my friends and replacing them with shells of people who can only converse about their "titty skittles", future top surgeries, or "waaaaaaah JK Rowling is an evil terf bigot". How the hell can they make every single conversation turn into something trans related?

I really feel you. I also feel surrounded. It's like every week or so I hear of someone else in my social or professional circles going trans. Sometimes people confide in me because they think I might be open to a non-affirming approach and I swear its like they're cringing.

From the few detransitioners I know, a lot of the time they had doubts all along but they willfully suppressed them. Then something happened that permitted them to actually acknowledge their misgivings (like finally admitting that transition was never going to turn out the way they fantasized it) and it didn't take long for the whole structure to collapse once that happened.

 

[BoomerSperg1922]

After reading over 30 pages of this depressing thread, I have come to several conclusions. The first and most important one: most of you are way, way too nice. You need to learn to be assholes, post haste. A lot of these depressing stories would have played out much differently if, instead of playing along, the people in question had acted on what they were feeling by saying what they really felt, as rudely as possible.

Secondly, it seems like 9/10ths of the people who knew someone who trooned either 1) lived in an incredibly leftist area and hung out exclusively with leftists, 2) were excessively online, 3) were upper middle class. Often all three. Consider becoming a right wing tradie wagie and taking a sledge hammer to any computer hardware in your house.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk and jesus christ what a wild read.

 

[What the shit]

The first and most important one: most of you are way, way too nice.

I think the main reason people are too nice because the people who are trooning out usually effect someone close to them or someone they personally love. It's difficult to try to convince a friend knowing that one wrong thing you say could severe the friendship entirely.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I think the main reason people are too nice because the people who are trooning out usually effect someone close to them or someone they personally love. It's difficult to try to convince a friend knowing that one wrong thing you say could severe the friendship entirely.

And not only that one friendship, if the troon spreads the word that you aren't an ally.

I might just be optimistic, but I think a lot of people have doubts about transgenderism. They've just seen what can happen if you say them out loud in the wrong crowd.

 

[What the shit]

And not only that one friendship, if the troon spreads the word that you aren't an ally.

I might just be optimistic, but I think a lot of people have doubts about transgenderism. They've just seen what can happen if you say them out loud in the wrong crowd.

There's always going to be doubts. Becoming a troon will always lead to significant social changes, and people do not like change, especially unnecessary ones.

 

[doja tiger]

I'm so glad this thread exists.

I might be losing two people to the gender ideology. One of them is my female friend who decided she's nonbinary, luckily she's not on hormones or anything. But she's not very mentally stable or assertive and she doesn't seem to like her appearance, I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to destroy her body with testosterone or surgery one day and I fear I wouldn't know how to talk her out of this. For now, I don't think about it too much, I only try to avoid discussing any topics related to gender in her presence because I know it would be a trainwreck if I said something honest (I could waste my time and energy trying to explain anything while she would just mindlessly repeat all those mantras of the gender cult). By the way, she claims to be asexual, in my opinion she's just very insecure and afraid of her own sexuality (she used to claim to be attracted to women). I also wonder whether she feels like she's not a woman when compared to me - I'm a bit more "feminine", makeup, nails done, long hair, sometimes heels, dresses, etc.

The second case is worse, it's my underage cousin, also female. Apparently she's going by a male name now, I don't know what will happen to her regarding physical transition (or what has already happened, I haven't seen her in years). I know that she has some mental issues, she's been bullied in school, she has awful parents (especially the mother who has always bullied and mocked the girl and her brother, her own fucking children) and I wonder how many of her issues are being hidden under the "gender dysphoria" bullshit. I honestly don't even know how I will react the first time I see her when I'm supposed to be using a male name, I don't know what will she look like (probably like a girl trying to look like a boy, who would have thought). The most disappointing thing is that everyone in the family seems to be okay with that. No one questions it, everyone just decided that she is now a he and that's it. Which is strange since my parents were always so obssesed with critical thinking etc. and now they believe that a girl can actually be a boy if she says so. It's just so disappointing, all of it.

 

[DumbDude42]

I wouldn't be surprised if she decided to destroy her body with testosterone or surgery one day and I fear I wouldn't know how to talk her out of this. For now, I don't think about it too much, I only try to avoid discussing any topics related to gender in her presence because I know it would be a trainwreck if I said something honest (I could waste my time and energy trying to explain anything while she would just mindlessly repeat all those mantras of the gender cult)

the longer the wait, the harder it will get because her views will grow more and more entrenched over time due to continuous exposure to tranny internet content. better to try and talk to her about it now than wait until it's too late.
worst case, you trigger her so hard that she cuts you off. sucks, but if she's already that far gone then she's lost to you anyway and it's only a matter of time until it ends, one way or the other. might as well try to step in now, cause you're probably not gonna get a better chance.

at the end of the day it's your decision to make, but in my opinion it's worth trying, even though it comes with the risk of starting a confrontation.

 

[doja tiger]

the longer the wait, the harder it will get because her views will grow more and more entrenched over time due to continuous exposure to tranny internet content. better to try and talk to her about it now than wait until it's too late.
worst case, you trigger her so hard that she cuts you off. sucks, but if she's already that far gone then she's lost to you anyway and it's only a matter of time until it ends, one way or the other. might as well try to step in now, cause you're probably not gonna get a better chance.

at the end of the day it's your decision to make, but in my opinion it's worth trying, even though it comes with the risk of starting a confrontation.

I guess you're right. I could try to talk to her about it, even if it will be an unfair battle (what I say vs what hundreds of troons have said on the internet). Perhaps she won't cut me off so soon since I'm like one of the three irl friends she has. Or maybe she'll start crying and call me abusive and say that I'm literally killing trans people right now. If it goes wrong, I'll loose a person I care about, but at least I won't have to listen to gender theories and her quoting trans Twitter as if it was the Bible, I guess.

 

[DumbDude42]

I guess you're right. I could try to talk to her about it, even if it will be an unfair battle (what I say vs what hundreds of troons have said on the internet). Perhaps she won't cut me off so soon since I'm like one of the three irl friends she has. Or maybe she'll start crying and call me abusive and say that I'm literally killing trans people right now. If it goes wrong, I'll loose a person I care about, but at least I won't have to listen to gender theories and her quoting trans Twitter as if it was the Bible, I guess.

i see it this way: if she's already so far gone that she's going to cut you off for speaking your mind about this, then you've already lost her anyway. but in case that does happen, make sure she knows that if she ever has second thoughts or changes her mind, you'll still be there for her. at some point in the future that might make a difference in bringing her back.

 

[Sailor Kim Jong Moon]

My husbands boss just told him tonight that his teenage son wants to transition. Pour one out for him.

Meanwhile, there are FOUR girls in my nieces class that are “trans men.”

My blood pressure is so high right now from all this shit. I want to grab these parents and tell them to set their child’s phone & computer on fire. Your child needs to touch grass! Please! Save them before they irreversibly damaged by this cult!

I’m trying to think of a way to tell his boss very nicely that his son probably is on trans Reddit, trans discord, being groomed by pedophiles. He’s so old that the whole thing just goes over his head. He thinks that he can just “man” it out of him.

The kid is a totally normal, masculine straight boy. The dad thinks the son just wants to be “treated nice” because he thinks societies caters to women and he wants that too.

 

[Toluene Blood]

I’m trying to think of a way to tell his boss very nicely that his son probably is on trans Reddit, trans discord, being groomed by pedophiles. He’s so old that the whole thing just goes over his head. He thinks that he can just “man” it out of him.

Mentioning autogynephilia is apparently key, since it breaks the "sad gay man" image. Though I imagine it could be a weird topic in a work-based setting. Perhaps you could get there via the most relevant AGP public figure he knows (those brothers who wrote The Matrix, Jonathan Yaniv, Bruce Jenner). If you're looking for how to start the conversation about the grooming, you could try Glinner / the Nolan investigation into Stonewall > Aimee Challenor > trans reddit > trans discord, especially if you can bring up that your own children/nieces/nephews are on social media in general.

 

[The Emperor Skeksis]

The dad thinks the son just wants to be “treated nice” because he thinks societies caters to women and he wants that too.

Well, he has some insight because that's not entirely wrong. But I agree with @Toluene Blood, try to explain what AGP is. If he's already receptive that his kid just wants to be treated like a special snowflake incel, it might be possible for him to understand.

 

[DiscoRodeo]

Probably a bit paranoid, but younger brother (who is an art school type and writing plots for animations he is working on) keeps sending me scripts to proof read where his character turns into a woman at the end.

I've read way too much on this forum, but not going to lie, am definitely a bit worried. Sucks, as I no longer live in the same country as him and havn't seen him in person in awhile, but other than "It might be better if your character turned into a Samsa-like roach rather than a woman at the end of this animation, to portray what you're going for" not quite sure how to approach that. Might be overreacting as well, but definitely a bit wary.

As of right now, Im just in the "uh-oh, should I be worried?" phase.

 

[Wallace]

And not only that one friendship, if the troon spreads the word that you aren't an ally.

I might just be optimistic, but I think a lot of people have doubts about transgenderism. They've just seen what can happen if you say them out loud in the wrong crowd.

You're right, it's just that the social costs of questioning troonery are too high, at least in public.

My husbands boss just told him tonight that his teenage son wants to transition. Pour one out for him.

Meanwhile, there are FOUR girls in my nieces class that are “trans men.”

My blood pressure is so high right now from all this shit. I want to grab these parents and tell them to set their child’s phone & computer on fire. Your child needs to touch grass! Please! Save them before they irreversibly damaged by this cult!

I’m trying to think of a way to tell his boss very nicely that his son probably is on trans Reddit, trans discord, being groomed by pedophiles. He’s so old that the whole thing just goes over his head. He thinks that he can just “man” it out of him.

The kid is a totally normal, masculine straight boy. The dad thinks the son just wants to be “treated nice” because he thinks societies caters to women and he wants that too.

Try asking this question: "How does troonery benefit them?" Does it soothe their loneliness? Allay some internal fears? Encourage their dreams? Help them throw rocks at their enemies? Understanding the hidden social benefit can help to get them out form the cult's thumb.

And yes, it is very much a cult, so you may have to resort to some cult deprogramming tactics if you want them back. Maybe show them some testimonials of those who have desisted.

 

[DumbDude42]

Probably a bit paranoid, but younger brother (who is an art school type and writing plots for animations he is working on) keeps sending me scripts to proof read where his character turns into a woman at the end.

I've read way too much on this forum, but not going to lie, am definitely a bit worried. Sucks, as I no longer live in the same country as him and havn't seen him in person in awhile, but other than "It might be better if your character turned into a Samsa-like roach rather than a woman at the end of this animation, to portray what you're going for" not quite sure how to approach that. Might be overreacting as well, but definitely a bit wary.

As of right now, Im just in the "uh-oh, should I be worried?" phase.

next time ask him about it in a way that makes it clear that you strongly disapprove of that shit but without making it personal
i don't know, something like "dude what the fuck is up with these genderswap story twists, that shit is retarded, is that what the retards at film school are teaching you guys?"

from his reaction to that you can probably figure out more about the situation

 

[okwhyamidoingthis]

Mentioning autogynephilia is apparently key, since it breaks the "sad gay man" image. Though I imagine it could be a weird topic in a work-based setting. Perhaps you could get there via the most relevant AGP public figure he knows (those brothers who wrote The Matrix, Jonathan Yaniv, Bruce Jenner). If you're looking for how to start the conversation about the grooming, you could try Glinner / the Nolan investigation into Stonewall > Aimee Challenor > trans reddit > trans discord, especially if you can bring up that your own children/nieces/nephews are on social media in general.

It's this report you're referring to, Toluene?

Ashton Challenor, the boy who disappeared

By JL

grahamlinehan.substack.com

Ashton Challenor, the boy who disappeared - by JL - The Glinner Update

archived 4 Sep 2021 12:22:05 UTC

archive.md

Nolan's Stonewall documentary is a game-changer

It represents the best and worst sides of the BBC

grahamlinehan.substack.com

Nolan's Stonewall documentary is a game-changer - by Graham Linehan -…

archived 21 Nov 2021 17:50:07 UTC

archive.md

Something rotten at the heart of Reddit

Aimee Challenor continues to fail upwards (story by Jorg C)

grahamlinehan.substack.com

Something rotten at the heart of Reddit - The Glinner Update

archived 1 Apr 2021 00:33:26 UTC

archive.md

I feel like I'm gonna faint of horror.

 

[Toluene Blood]

It's this report you're referring to, Toluene?
[snip]
I feel like I'm gonna faint of horror.

That's the stuff. It was the final straw that finally got me off of reddit.
An old-timer might be more familiar with the Matrix than the other things on the list so here's a source on the Wachowski brothers-turned-sisters that makes it supremely clear that their motivation was AGP. You can find the A&N thread here.
Once he knows about AGP, I agree with @Wallace about cult deprogramming tactics.

 

[Ser Prize]

Why the fuck are there so many ftms suddenly?

 

[Kiislova]

Why the fuck are there so many ftms suddenly?

Off the cuff, no evidence.
Female puberty sucks, troonin out makes it stop. Is a short term gain for a lifetime of pain.