- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
And on the same note as "Writing Yuge checks her bucket mouth can't cash," they also don't need no Divazz with no means or pull. She ain't Iman or Emme or Naomi, yet her sausage lips keep flippin' and floppin'.
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
- Start date
And on the same note as "Writing Yuge checks her bucket mouth can't cash," they also don't need no Divazz with no means or pull. She ain't Iman or Emme or Naomi, yet her sausage lips keep flippin' and floppin'.
- Joined
- May 17, 2017
Late (hi gorls, save me, I am in noo phone hell) but this is fucking TERRIBLE.
Apart from Dolly, Divine et all, most of her tats* are really basic - black-and-white without even the cachet of being stick 'n poke, big colour blocking, placement as if by a toddler whose been sniffing his KrazyGloo. They are not sophisticated at all.
But this is a whole new level of don't-give-a-fuck and it's just going to be a big grey mess in a couple years. It doesn't even make sense - look at the snake's belly-twist which is a) impossible and b) presumably done for contrast rather than time (and price) intensive shading, but it just makes it look completely flat. There's just nothing at all where the head splits, altho it's nice to see TenTon is maintaining her social status by having one snake-head pointing at her cooch and the other her arse, both no doubt refusing to go any further without danger money. And crampons.
If this was fruits of the Hereford trip.....oh dear. did Lucypoo or whatever she was called do it when she was still surfing on twenty pints of bitter? Her tats seem to mark her general decline - the earlier ones are awesome then they just get worse and worse. I'm no tattoo expert but this is beyond shit-tier, neither the commitment to black-line nor anything like the degree of greyscale required to give it any dimension. And it's a completely different style to the one underneath it, not even the vaguest attempt to create some cohesion. This would be an abomination on paper....although I value paper higher than whichever of TenTon's indeterminate bulges has provided the stretched-to-buggery canvas, so eh.
Resentful freebie? Get-it-over-with mates rates? I love it, it just screams eh fukkit and we can ponder the whys as she scribbles her decline on her ever-growing hide until she's nothing but a pile of pitted lard, black lines and fail, eternally wailing "sooopah moddle" like the Patron Banshee of Flubster Narcs.
*autofup turned that into "fats." Finally, it is learning.
Ftfy
Ooooo I'm on a roll today
(Um.....tis true above, but I also seem to have turned the cooker on, diverted a bus full of oldies to The Soho Bondage Bazaar and quite possibly fired three nucular bomb thingies at China. Oops.
And I haven't even started tryna send missiges yet. Somebody needs to take this infernal device off me and put me in a nice soft room with a cup of hot cocoa.)
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- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
Tess is back in the deep south.
Ma!
She's being creepy again!
Get the bat!
Ma!
She's being creepy again!
Get the bat!
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2016
Tubbers is just imitating her acquaintance, Chrissy Teigen, the wokest model out there. Although she forgets that everyone is also tired of Chrissy’s shit…and Chrissy is 300+ pounds lighter than Tess.
Chances are good a number of her old tats were done for little or nothing in order to get exposure while she had her 15 minutes of fame. Now that she’s on minute 50, the good ones are going to cost her real money, which is a problem when there is weed and ice cream to be bought and consumed.
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
Wonder if she's trying to drop Bowie off for good.
- Joined
- May 17, 2017
Is her Dad going to stick her head on the wall when she carks? Is this not in fact her fondly imagined lurvin' family (that she's prolly hoping to pitch to TLC as some ghastly reality thing, "Redneck Soopahmoddle, YeeeHaaaw™" that will put her back on the top of the trash-fame tree where she belongs. And fuck yes, will she kick HunnyBooboo in the face during the scramble for the fame n moneez, she deserves this) but a stealth hunting trip? Her Dad's actually tracking her in her native element, leaving bait trails of cake and copies of Vogue with pics of TenTon clumsily taped to the cover in his attempt to lure then take down the biggest prey ever. He watches, he waits; one day, the biggest prize will be his....
I know nuthin about hunting, I just know he's gonna need a bigger gun. And wall.
I know nuthin about hunting, I just know he's gonna need a bigger gun. And wall.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Or trying to move in with her dad now that her Sugar Daddy stopped paying rent on her pricey LA digs.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2016
I see she got fresh lip fillers before going back to MS for a family Thanksgiving. Can't possibly let her blowjob lips be underinflated while hanging out with her kid brother.
The Valeyard
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2017
Here is today's video from Australian comedian Isaac Butterfield about Tess.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
For the love of Gawd, I hope Tess can resist her Southern urge to inbreed. She does not need a third kid - especially one with the IQ of Forrest Gump and the inability to turn to the left like Zoolander.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2021
I imagine the canvas the artists have to work on isn't too conducive to steady-handed work. Also, she probably can't maneuver herself onto a bench or fit in a chair, so long sessions don't seem too realistic for her.
taintmisbehavin
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2020
I know Tess may want us to tee-hee over her family’s cartoonish white trash tendencies, but what’s even trashier is wasting no time in whipping out the camera to record yourself shaking your lumps seductively in your dad’s house.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Only trailer trash like Tess thinks that trying to seduce a barely-out-of-his-teens blood relative under the roof of her father's house is "cute".
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Isn't she there to attend a concert of some type?
Edit: This?
Edit: This?
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- Joined
- Nov 20, 2021
- Joined
- May 7, 2017
And to hammer it home, her barely out of his teens half brother. That's some borderline incest shit that even cousins Billy-Bob and Mary-Lou from Arkansas would be like: "Woah, woah! Wait a minute!!!"
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Wonder who this is aimed at?
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- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2014
Let me count the ways...
- You are not obligated to respect your oldest son's privacy and constantly post his face in public photos.
- If said son isn't falling for your abusive narc tactics, dumping him onto an ex is perfectly fine!
- You're definitely not exploiting your youngest by using him for woke asspats and potential child predators.
- You're honoring yourself by making him be your caretaker for life.
- You can keep posting embarrassing """sexy""" thirst traps that will ruin your children's social lives.
- It's okay to wear slutty outfits that don't fit and hit on your barely legal half-brother.
- Guilt-tripping your disabled mother and former
assistantslave into being personal burdens is completely normal. - You're not burning bridges by lying to and talking shit about agencies.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
It makes me think of the people that bring up their politics at every family gathering, how they are right and you're wrong, if you don't agree with them you're a bigoted, racist, homophobic POS, then they flounce off in tears and make SM posts about people not having "respect for healthy relationships" and "speaking your mind".
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