Shit that you overheard during Thanksgiving (2021)

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

Going to the gym and then making a bunch of food...some pie. Have to spend it alone this year because flying seems like a nightmare with potentially cancelled flights but I'm sure I'll talk with my family on facetime sort of deal.

To be fair you're gay so. I mean your family had hopes sooo...
Just saying if they dodge you don't be surprised.

 

[TÜV Certified Ehrenmann]

dutchmen don't know how delicious it is to pour gravy down your facehole while Uncle Ted talks about politics and jesus and the nazis

Us Dutchmen have a more beloved and cherished tradition compared to thanksgiving, you can talk to your family any time of the year. However, can you do this any time of the year?

A couple more weeks dutchbros...

 

[Womanhorse]

Only had Thanksgiving with extended family once. They decided to stuff the turkey with shrimp, red sauce and bread crumbs before cooking it. They didn't even properly thaw out the turkey first, so everything was horrifically undercooked and anyone who dared to eat this nightmarish concoction ended up getting horrific food poisoning. Even as a small child I didn't trust that shit and was saved by an offering of nuggies from my folks so i wouldn't have to consume the poisoned bird. For that I'm thankful.

Now I just go hunting with my dad for our own turkey and stuff it with homemade stuffing like sane individuals.

 

[luigismanslave]

So evidentially, my Dad is off his schizo meds. I came over to check on him and he told me he was Jesus and started convulsing. I basically need to wait for him to try to kill himself (or me) before the cops will do anything (they're pretty familiar with him, but also can't really beat up the schizo man considering bodycams and Minneapolis). Anyway, to the actual Thanksgiving portion of this story, I went upstairs about 15 minutes ago to ask my dad if he'll be attending, and he was weeping in front of the closet door, completely naked, and when asked why he informed me that demons were preventing him from opening the closet with his mind. I may update with more depending how today goes, and if he actually comes to Thanksgiving, but 20 minutes in it doesn't look promising.

 

[SevenEightNine]

I might have some turkey but I’m looking forward to the green bean casserole

My family learned about cranberry cylinders from the Simpsons and my mother had never forgiven Americans for the fact that we make her leave the cranberry sauce in can shape and refuse to eat anything with actual berries in it.

*autism*

 

[gaystoner]

To be fair you're gay so. I mean your family had hopes sooo...
Just saying if they dodge you don't be surprised.

unlike you neets I'm well liked lol

 

[King Dead]

Not much to report on my end, aside from having a good laugh at all the racebending Broadway musicals at the start of the Macy's parade. Because we all know Henry VIII married six black women.

Happy Thanksgiving, fellow kiwis. Even you Yuropoors.

 

[Ari Gold]

I am getting drunk alone. This is the first time in my life I am not w/ family on this blessed holiday. Please keep sharing as I cry into my beer.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

unlike you neets I'm well liked lol

That's why you're spending this holiday alone hoping to facetime someone...
Haha jk I love you faggot.

 

[gaystoner]

That's why you're spending this holiday alone hoping to facetime someone...
Haha jk I love you faggot.

have you been to an airport in the last month?

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

have you been to an airport in the last month?

Yeah a bunch is that bad?

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Yeah a bunch is that bad?

I dunno do you like to get groped by Fat TSA Sheeboons?

 

[SevenEightNine]

In honour of American Thanksgiving, I had to explain to my one kid what "Black Friday" was and his only takeaway was "when did you start shopping for Christmas presents" so I think I failed there.

Oh, and last night I got mad about gun laws and how stupid most Canadians are about them. My dad grumbled something about my moral failings and I feel like we captured the essence of the holiday. For foreigners.

 

[Captain Chromosome]

I'm stuck alone in a major city this year, since I can't swing a cross-country trip just for three days. Might have a drink and watch a movie, but I'm still thankful my parents are doing well.

 

[gaystoner]

Yeah a bunch is that bad?

1 hour delay layover turned into 10. 30 minutes at a time. This was not during the Holidays.

 

[Caesare]

I don’t know what country you’re talking about but if you’re saying that from anywhere in the US you should consider yourself damn lucky and enjoy it while it lasts. Hell, no matter where you are, consider yourself damn lucky.

I edited my message a bit, that was more of a rough draft. But thank you, and I agree.

 

[biozeminadae1]

I still don't know what Thanksgiving is about, some amerindians from a failed agricultural proto-civilization think they can teach something to Europeans or whatever

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

My suffering? Ok.
One of my pancakes was raw on the inside and I didn't want to sound like an ungrateful shit (and I already was eating it/put syrup on it) so I continued eating
Mom accidentally slammed the female turtle against a wall, due to the small kitchen space of the apartment and I checked the turtle for scratches in her shell: None
Mom and I don't feel physically well but I will help her make dinner rolls and peel potatoes.

Update 1: Warning Long
Yesterday, we were planning on making dinner rolls, but the dough didn't rise so it was tossed into the trash.
I was demanded to change from YouTube on Roku to Live TV, particularly Channels 5 and 50.3. Remote stopped working and I informed her, and she changed it herself.
Have to fill up on water for two days for an upcoming lab, and basically bitched at for daring to frequent the bathroom.
Mom freaked out over me putting a used tasting spoon into the sink, mistaking it for the spoon for the minced garlic sauce (subtle secret ingredient) for mashed potatoes. She also ranted about the fiancé wanting to add mayo onto the mashed potatoes instead of butter/heavy whipping cream, and the matter was settled when he tasted it.
As I was getting butter from the fridge door, she instructed me to get it from the exact same place.
More mother rants about how fiancé refuses to learn about technology and quickly loses his patience over using the Clipboard to send multiple messages to his family.
Three items burned: The two pecan crusts of the sweet potatoes and the skin of the turkey (Might've had some depersonalization), and was not allowed to express, "I'm trying to steady the yellow squash" because "I've already had one freakout from him, I don't want another from you."
>Solution: Withdraw Further

Also, almost tempted to give more messes from family friends.
Silver Lining: We gave food to an elderly neighbor spending Thanksgiving alone.

 

[RussianParasite]

Not all of us have fucked up families or ones filled with weirdos or people who live their politics.

I’ll start making our traditional family stuffing while others prepare a Turkey in a few minutes. After this is ready we will go over to our neighbors house with a bunch of other people and eat shit tons of food (maybe drink a bit). Probably watch football and play games after a while too.

We’ve done this for years with not even a hint of drama despite a lot of different people from different backgrounds at one party. Never once a fight about politics even if there are disagreements because people around here aren’t thinned skinned bitches who can’t be disagreed with. There will even be liberals and conservatives who *gasp* get along and are even friends!

Enjoy your thanksgiving fellow Burgerland residents!

 

[SevenEightNine]

Mom accidentally slammed the female turtle against a wall,

Is this a lesser known part of the holiday, sort of a groundhog situation?