Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I have heard that the People's Republic of China imports 30% of its food, which is another major weakness. It's not just the mismanagement of their land either, the PRC has or had a problem with food waste as people ordered HUGE meals in restaurants to impress their friends and discarded the leftovers as keeping them was socially frowned upon.

I recommend that my fellow Kiwis look up a user by the name of "laowhy86" on YouTube. He's a former American expat who lived in China before the CCP started "investigating" him and forced him to leave the country. He's been revealing much of what goes on behind the Great Firewall and much of what Bob believes about China is pure bullshit.
The flooding last year destroyed a huge amount of farmland in China. The water levels were so high that the infamous Three Gorges Dam was threatened, and when it blows, it will send a massive wave of water cascading downstream that will kill literally millions of people and inflict unimaginable devastation, including flooding over a dozen nuclear power plants. There is also an immense amount of prestige tied up in the dam; it's the largest in the world and was built over strenuous local protests as well as countless foreign experts saying it was a terrible idea. The CCP knows that when it fails, it will be the end of their regime. They were and are willing to do anything to save it. So they blew up dozens of lesser dams to relieve the pressure on Three Gorges. This flooded a ton of farmland.

The uncontrolled flow of massive amounts of water through farmland can make it unusable, as massive gullies are carved, sediments deposited, etc. It's no longer flat or even close to it. That's not counting the fact that since this is China, the floodwaters are heavily polluted and the land has been dosed with toxic chemicals and heavy metals. Not to mention roads and bridges washed out (so good luck moving tractors, grain harvesters, and so on in and out), and of course those dams were providing irrigation water and hydropower, and so on. The bottom line is the damage will take years to fix, and they couldn't even start until all the floodwater drains (which can take months). The poisoning of the land is unfixable.

Not only that, but China wasn't even close to feeding its own people before this happened anyway. And on top of all that, Winnie the Pooh is mad at Australia and banning beef imports from Australia in retaliation, when they were previously a huge customer. And then CCP officials warned people of food shortages and told them to stock up, so panic hoarding is making things even worse. Bob hasn't the faintest clue how bad China has fucked up, and the CCP-influenced traitorous mainstream media will never tell him.
 
My favorite part of the Chipman Family Letters to Santa tradition isn't Bob's blatant hypocrisy; it's that Chris thinks it's a good idea to teach his special needs children that a roaring fireplace is a magical portal to a world of toys and cheer.
Well to be fair, it was mom and pop chipman's idea first. And they taught their exceptional sons (and somewhat normal daughter?) this very same lesson. No wonder Bob has unrealistic expectations and believes in "magic". This is also, even more exceptionally, treating letters to santa like some religions treat prayers to their deities.

The fact that at least one of Chris' children is super exceptional just makes it that much worse.
 
Another video-game movie failure. I tend to trust Bobby in this subject. Still, someone got on his nerves:
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Really Bobo? Are you gonna call others, dweebs? You, the fat faggot who had a meltdown over Chris Pratt doing the voice of Mario, that he won't do an Italian accent OR that Mario isn't being turned into some "deep political thriller"? Yeah, how about you shove your head back up your fat ass and stay in your lane.
 
Oh shit, I just realized something.

This stupid tradition of using a fireplace to communicate psychically with Santa (probably because "Santa comes down the chimney, therefore the chimney is the portal to Santa" which is exceptional logic at best), Chris reports, was going on at their current house since Bob and he were kids.

A reminder, this house belonged to Chris and Bob's grandparents.

Sooooo, it was Grandma and/or Grandpa Chipman, who started this exceptional nonsense. The smoothbrain rot runs deeper than I thought.
 
Really Bobo? Are you gonna call others, dweebs? You, the fat faggot who had a meltdown over Chris Pratt doing the voice of Mario, that he won't do an Italian accent OR that Mario isn't being turned into some "deep political thriller"? Yeah, how about you shove your head back up your fat ass and stay in your lane.
You don't understand, he thinks those bullies 25-30 years ago played PS1 games only. So they deserve a bad adaptation. While he doesn't because he's a selfish mentally challenged narcissist whose parents should've put into spec ed classes to pop that delusion of intelligence he has.
 
My favorite part of the Chipman Family Letters to Santa tradition isn't Bob's blatant hypocrisy; it's that Chris thinks it's a good idea to teach his special needs children that a roaring fireplace is a magical portal to a world of toys and cheer.
This stupid tradition of using a fireplace to communicate psychically with Santa (probably because "Santa comes down the chimney, therefore the chimney is the portal to Santa" which is exceptional logic at best), Chris reports, was going on at their current house since Bob and he were kids.
Having gone to a religious elementary school, one common teaching was that Hell is a torturous territory in which souls are surrounded by fire and brimstone. When you take that into consideration, it makes me wonder if Moviebob's family "Christmas tradition" has potentially deliberately sinister underpinnings. If I were told that a fireplace where to be a place to facetime with Santa Claus, I'd onlly be able to do so if the power is on--i.e., the fireplace is burning. That would have terrified my younger self; instead of Santa Claus living at or around the North Pole, I would have permanently scarred by the belief that Santa was actually Satan (which isn't helped by their similarites, such as wearing red, deep-voiced laughter, their being surrounded by magical creatures...)
 
Having gone to a religious elementary school, one common teaching was that Hell is a torturous territory in which souls are surrounded by fire and brimstone. When you take that into consideration, it makes me wonder if Moviebob's family "Christmas tradition" has potentially deliberately sinister underpinnings. If I were told that a fireplace where to be a place to facetime with Santa Claus, I'd onlly be able to do so if the power is on--i.e., the fireplace is burning. That would have terrified my younger self; instead of Santa Claus living at or around the North Pole, I would have permanently scarred by the belief that Santa was actually Satan (which isn't helped by their similarites, such as wearing red, deep-voiced laughter, their being surrounded by magical creatures...)
and the fact that "Santa" is an anagram of "Satan"....
 
Biden brought jerbs.
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The Dems should hire Bobby as their Press Sec.

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Bobby congratulates a propagandist job well done (archive of NYP article)
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Gun control bullshit:
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Cars are "mass-casualty tools" too.

And this discussion managed to trigger at least one "violent-tempered/easily-triggered white man":
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Any gun laws approved by Bobby will be far from "sensible"; they will just be "only I and my cronies get to use guns".

Bobby wants white people dead, take 64233:
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Lincoln Project. Someone mistakes Bobby for a Berniebro:
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Jorge Bergoglio continues his mission of woke:
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Maybe the Vatican already has. I don't know.

Someone calls out on Bobby for his sadistic fantasy to antivaxers -- but as this one is an ACAB BLM muslim genderfreak, Bobby whimpers and steps aside.
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Random racial ruckuses:
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Bobby fetishizes black bodies.
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For Bobby, there is one universal solution for everything (two if you count murdering all wrongvoters):
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Wut.
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Spiderman cartoon:
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"My mom is cooler than your mom!"
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MCU vs DC:
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(17 minutes)

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But underage twerking is high art.

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Children's cartoon:
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A tranny said that with zero irony!

Huge cars. There's so much room you can even play Mario Party in them:
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Fake Tits:
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There use to be a British tradition to burn Christmas letters in the fireplace so the smoke would go up the Chimney and magically send your letter to Father Christmas. I learned about when reading about Christmas' origins (I mean replacing the Roman Son God Holiday with a Holiday to the Son of God. Not the birth of Christ who was more than likely born in Spring.) and traditions from around the world.

But yeah it's not as unique to them as the Chipman Bros think and it's hypocritical for a "Thinker" like Bobert to hold on to such Believer traditions.
 
If Bob had his way, 75% of America would be dead in the killing fields (Gotta blow Cambodia's numbers out of the water), and everyone else would be on watch.
And he STILL wouldn't be happy....

To continue the Cambodian analogy, even when Pol Pot killed everyone who even was within six degrees of someone who said a bad thing about him once, and was the undisputed ruler of his nation, which had finally be remade as ideologically perfect as possible? He STILL couldn't live peacefully.

He almost immediately started a war with Vietnam because he thought Cambodians were a superior race who deserved their land and were destined to be the REAL regional power-brokers of SE Asia. And "obsolete" Vietnamese were in the way.

When his other leaders pointed out that their population of 2 million, weakened by all the purges, killing, forced labor and starvation, and without a properly trained or equipped military? That had neither a professional officer caste or a battle doctrine beyond guerilla raids on civilians and rounding up of unarmed dissidents really had little chance against a country of 8 million, battle-hardened by decades of fighting first-world armies (and winning)? Pol Pot simply hand waved it as defeatism and that it was the moral duty of every Cambodian to kill 5 Vietnamese each, that way, even if they died killing the last one, Cambodia could win the war with people to spare!

Spoiler: It went as bad as you think it did.

When the Vietnamese counter-invaded and deposed him, he fled into the jungle, and spent the rest of his life blaming everything on Chinese spies, CIA spooks and traitors and was still holding struggle sessions and denouncing traitors in his midst all the way to his last, refusing to admit anything he did was wrong, sure, it might have not turned out right, but that wasn't HIS fault, he was the genius, the superior future incarnate, it was all those who didn't follow him to a "T" that had mucked everything up.


That is Bob, he is but a temporarily embarrassed dictator, rendered harmless only because his feeble personality can't muster an army to do his bidding..... if he COULD, he'd end up like all dictators, running from the sum total of the world, seeking safe harbor and begging mercy even as he curses it's name for failing to do what he, it's rightful-born master, commanded.

If Bob could get in control, not only would he genocide ever larger and larger parts of the nation, even if he reduced it to just Massachusetts, he'd never rest peacefully at night. Like all violent ideologues, the idea that somewhere out there, somewhere, someone defies him by simply dreaming of a world without him? It keeps him up pacing the floor angrily, just KNOWING that person is ruining it all by poisoning the world with wrongthink! He'd inevitably start purging the neighborhood, or his own family, and when he finished? He'd just declare war on Canada, for clearly harboring escaped mayoghouls. What? You want proof of that? It's OBVIOUS! I still feel threatened, therefore they exist! And they MUST exist where I can't reach them! So, either genocide 50% of your population to get them or we'll come in there and do it ourselves! MAPLEGHOULS! It's about time YOU learned to live in the REAL THINKING WORLD TOO!!!! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!!! Waddaya mean the RCMP just occupied Lynn? OOOOH THOSE NO-GOOD TRAITORS!!!! SELLING ME OUT WHEN WE WERE "THIS" CLOSE! I'm moving to Geneva, call me when we're back in charge and I'll pick up where we left off.... *sigh* and prepare my auto-tweet deadhand system to keep putting out inspiring messages about our great victories too!

It's never enough, ideological purity is a state of mind, not an achievable goal.

If he could Thanos-Snap away everyone on the globe, and create a legion of robots to keep the infrastructure going in their place? He'd do it, but that very night, he'd still be sleepless, fretting that one of the robots may go rogue, and the next morning, the purge of the robots would begin.

Dictator-brains MUST constantly be killing to rest, there is no peaceful end state for them.

If they crash landed on an asteroid with no one but them? They'd start cutting off their own toes if they had to to keep the persecution going.... that's their only reason to live. To purge those who don't measure up.

That's why Bob isn't happy... he can't ever be sure that everyone he dislikes on academic grounds could really be killed...... even if he had the power.
 
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Oh, look, the Cuties fandom doesn't think there's anything evil in someone who looks at a ten year old and says "Gonna get me some of that."

Gotta admit I skimmed that and somehow ended up with "jews" and "over affluent Kentucky suburbs" and for a second thought he'd gone full Chilean roflcopter.
Children's cartoon:
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OK, my memory of Daria is 20+ years old (wow, my memories of the show are literally older than the character) so I might be utterly wrong but:

If that was the show's moral why was her eventual boyfriend (Tom?) older as well?

When did Trent ever acknowledge her feelings? The entire joke was that Trent was utterly oblivious. She had a crush on him and he did not notice. But more generally, he was directionless. He fronted a band that couldn't even decide on a name and wrote a song comparing a relationship to a fridge. Hell, I distinctly remember he was a source of socially awkward comedy when they're on a road trip and Daria needs to take a bathroom break. In response to her quiet request for a stop, he yells over the radio "YOU GOTTA PEE, DARIA?" and then amplifies it further when someone else asks why they're stopping. She clearly does not want a deal made of it and he makes a deal out of it, not even realizing he is because it's just something everyone does so who cares if everyone knows?

Hell, three or four of these screenshots are from the episode where Daria gets a piercing and Trent takes her because he's older and he thinks piercings are cool (I don't remember, that might've been her reason for getting it - to try impress Trent). He's not there holding her hand because of feelings, he's there because he took an underage girl to the guy who did his piercings and knows it's rough on a first timer. What do you do when a girl is in pain? You give her some comfort and a strong hand to squeeze; that's just what guys do. (Yes, yes, I know - remember this was in the late 90's.) Daria might've read further into it but that's a natural symptom of a crush.

As I recall he improved over the series but so did Daria, leaving her first crush behind except for the occasional daydream.
 
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Trent was a running-gag about the "first" crush people have when they're young and dumb, and part of the character development in series was Daria realizing it was just a silly high school relationship. She eventually leaves him not because of some huge romantic betrayal or high-drama whatnot, but realizing he's destined to be a deadbeat unless he matures, she can't waste her life waiting for it to happen, and that's no one to live life with. (The final straw is an imagine spot where she envisions a future where her career will likely be used to prop up the household and fund his impossible dream of rock stardom)

Even if he WAS Mr. Perfect, they're in high school, life really hasn't started yet, and it's silly/stupid to assume the first person you meet is who you're destined to marry.

Trent's a sendup of the 90's slacker, except his "wastfulness" is the G-rated "garage band with delusions of grandeur" instead of something edgier, like soft drugs or petty larceny. He's a poor relationship match for a reason: so the comedy can pile up without consequence since nobody except hardcore shippers instinctively see this as anything other than a throwaway high school romance. He had "feelings" for her the way EVERY teenager has "feelings" for someone - it's just what young people do as they learn what attraction really is.

Just furthers my belief that the more hardcore a shipper you are, the less you actually understand people and the concept of love as anything except something that makes YOU feel good, and little else.
 
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Just furthers my belief that the more hardcore a shipper you are, the less you actually understand people and the concept of love as anything except something that makes YOU feel good, and little else.

Well, in Bob's....uh...."defense", it's not so much being a hardcore shipper and more not having any real relationship experience to draw upon.
 
Biden brought jerbs.
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The Dems should hire Bobby as their Press Sec.

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Y'know, it wasn't too long ago that Trump would brag about improving job creation and unemployment numbers during his term, and all the armchair economists would crawl out of the woodwork to yell about how those aren't real jobs, Americans are suffering, the economy is actually shit. Shoutout in particular to ol' Horseface Sandy (I believe) who claimed that the reason job numbers were so good back then was because more Americans were aykshually taking on two or more jobs at once. Really putting that economics degree to good use.

But now that the economy is by pretty much all measures stagnating (missed job targets every month, unemployment still pretty high, lots of people refusing to go back to work, coof vaccine mandates strangling businesses' ability to do business, supply chain crisis, and high (but not yet catastrophic, at least) inflation), these same smoothbrains are nowhere to be seen. Everything is fine, nothing to worry about!

On a side note, with regards to the claims about higher inflation during the 70s/80s, it depends on how you analyze it. If you look at the FRED statistics for the CPI, setting the Y-axis to "percent change from a year ago" shows this:
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Looks a lot worse back then. But if you instead look at the straight numerical change from a year ago, you get this:
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A different picture indeed, and it doesn't look like it's turning around just yet. I know the coof threw a wrench in the works last year so it might be difficult to make an accurate comparison, but I still don't like the looks of it.

Now, I know I just complained about armchair economists and I am in no way qualified to go into the machinery of our economy. That said, I notice immediately how the beginning of the Reagan years turned things around pretty quickly and put an end to the stagflation of the 70's. Inflation was still higher than it was during the postwar boom, but with a recovering economy, it became manageable. We haven't had an inflationary spike this big since the Carter years, and that's really not something I'd like to go back to, especially since Biden seems to be repeating the same mistakes that led to stagflation in the first place.

But hey, no mean tweets, right?
 
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Well, in Bob's....uh...."defense", it's not so much being a hardcore shipper and more not having any real relationship experience to draw upon.
I think it's a vicious circle now that you mention it.

No relationship experience leads to shipping fictional characters which leads to unrealistic expectations of what love and relationships are which causes you to act in ways that repulse normal people which leads to not being able to have relationships and experience ... which leads back to the top and ends with you living vicariously through cartoons and superheroes who you've personally derailed into being into your kinks even with no evidence
 
Let's start with the positive. This is still horrible shirt, but at least its not a religious statement for Consoomerism as his Thanksgiving one. So step up in my book.
Really Roberto? Police should investigate everyone which does not agree with you on Twitter?
And this fatso keep calling other people Nazis...
Nothing is funny about "Archipelgo", Robert. You know what is funny? YOUR CAREER.
Not directly related to Roberto, but "the best Spider-Man property" right now is the PS4 game. Not some kiddy cartoon for exceptionals.
This is not just crappy theory which as always with these theory channels or Roberto "predictions" are too complicated and wants everything to look like the clusterfuck of comic-book continuity since the 90s. This is also not exciting and will actually hurt the film if it exists. The thing that makes people want to go to NWH and marks it probably as post covid Billion $ movie is that it's a "payoff" movie. Just like "The Avengers" or "Endgame". It's the culmination of not just three movies, but eight Sony Spider-Man films. Trying to pull in "payoff movies" the "this is IMPORTANT because of FUTURE movies!" schtick that makes every MCU Phase 4 (and Phase 2) movie mediocre will hurt the enjoyment and ruin the film as standalone enjoyable flick. THe MCU Shills will sing the praises of the "future references" for sure. But the general audience? It wants the payoff.
 
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