Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Alpha Kennybody]

Sonichu take the wheel

You don't have to tell me twice! But during the stone age....

 

[Bent_Duck]

What choice does she have? Just to starve to death in the hoard?

YES.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I'm not sold on any traffic accident that Barb may or may not have been involved in. How did Chris find out? Until some sperg manages to produce an accident report from the local police department I'm not willing to accept it. Even if the accident report is redacted, there should be enough details to match Chris' version.

It could be somewhat settled by some weens driving past 14BC a few times to see if Son-Chu is intact or permanently missing.

 

[nvrwastetree]

It's interesting that he's privy to any of this information. He's clearly in contact with his mother to some degree. She apparently doesn't view him as an assailant, or if she does she forgives him.

Or doesn't remember.

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Where are the weens? It's been a few days since this came out and not a single person has decided to take the old cruise down Branchland court?

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

Where are the weens? It's been a few days since this came out and not a single person has decided to take the old cruise down Branchland court?

Too busy writing stupid, uninformative letters to Chris to get stupid, uninformative answers I imagine.

 

[Look over there]

Where are the weens? It's been a few days since this came out and not a single person has decided to take the old cruise down Branchland court?

The last people stupid enough to turn up had face tattoos. We might be out of idiots, for now.

 

[SpeedBaller]

That Onion Farms site is one of the saddest sites I've seen. Is it some sort of online asylum? I don't understand half of the shit they are saying. What kind of person would post there?

 

[Yamcha's Only Fan]

As much as I don't wish bodily harm on Barb, if this account is coming from Chris's mouth: I'll believe it when I see a accident report. Injuries such as these to a woman of barb's age and health are virtual death sentences. She'd be in hospital, with bills that would cripple the mortgage payments. Chris's sympathy buxx are going to be thin this year, and I doubt trolls are going to be as quick to blow money on him after this.

My money is on him just wanting to try to accumulate a hoard while in custody. Probably saw something in the commissary he really wants, or just wants to buy himself some christmas presents.

 

[Chazzed Up]

As much as I don't wish bodily harm on Barb, if this account is coming from Chris's mouth: I'll believe it when I see a accident report. Injuries such as these to a woman of barb's age and health are virtual death sentences. She'd be in hospital, with bills that would cripple the mortgage payments. Chris's sympathy buxx are going to be thin this year, and I doubt trolls are going to be as quick to blow money on him after this.

My money is on him just wanting to try to accumulate a hoard while in custody. Probably saw something in the commissary he really wants, or just wants to buy himself some christmas presents.

Yeah it's not like Chris hasn't paraded her in front of a camera before to get money... I still find it incredibly bizarre that he was actually encouraging people to go visit her at the house in one of his past letters.

 

[zero-who]

That Onion Farms site is one of the saddest sites I've seen. Is it some sort of online asylum? I don't understand half of the shit they are saying. What kind of person would post there?

Admittedly, we've all got to be a special type of damaged to post here.
Imagine how exceptional someone has to be to get banned from here.
That's Onion Farms.

 

[AntiSchwuletteAktion]

I seriously fucking hate that Kengle's dopey ass is finally somewhat relevant to the thing people want information about. Imagine the autofellatio happening right now thinking about how he gets to control the flow of information to the Kiwi Farms for once.

Imagine being Kengle and the greatest achievement of your public life is publishing the contents of jail letters from an autistic rapist onto your website which is a copy of a larger site that you made because you got laughed at on the original site and couldn't take it

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

Speaking of Barb...

in the last few months and given her mental state
who do you think Barbara blames as responsible for the Chandler's life spiraling out of control in 2021?

a) Chris
b) That nasty german girl, Meghan (somehow)
c) Michael Snyder (somehow)
d) Herself and lack of proper parenting
e) Literally Everyone else.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

When one of the people outside of my family I'd known for the longest time got cancer, it was the final finisher when he fell and broke a hip. On his way back from the hospital he basically said he knew he was done at that point, but he just wanted to die at home. He died the day after.

I think Barb's death would be a great Lolcow holy sacrifice to send Chris over the edge.


Picture it, Barb's dead! 2 weeks later Chris is on the roof of a Walmart in Barb's old underwear trying to summon breastmilk from his moobs for an infant he kidnappedfrom one of the weens who had pitty on him. . The store is surrounded by local police, swat teams, and FBI. Suddenly, a female officer sneaks up behind Chris, snatches the baby, and drop kicks Chris in the spine. Chris drops to the floor, shits himself, and starts reciting the Bible.

 

[BrokLesnerd]

This wouldn't have happened if she had her loving daughter (and daughterly lover), Christine, by her side. #FreeTheRuckersvilleOne
#DontCriminalizeLove

SPIRITUAL.

HEALER.

Speaking of Barb...

in the last few months and given her mental state
who do you think Barbara blames as responsible for the Chandler's life spiraling out of control in 2021?

a) Chris
b) That nasty german girl, Meghan (somehow)
c) Michael Snyder (somehow)
d) Herself and lack of proper parenting
e) Literally Everyone else.

Well, it's not called Schroder's List for nothing, kid.

I think Barb's death would be a great Lolcow holy sacrifice to send Chris over the edge.


Picture it, Barb's dead! 2 weeks later Chris is on the roof of a Walmart in Barb's old underwear trying to summon breastmilk from his moobs for an infant he kidnappedfrom one of the weens who had pitty on him. . The store is surrounded by local police, swat teams, and FBI. Suddenly, a female officer sneaks up behind Chris, snatches the baby, and drop kicks Chris in the spine. Chris drops to the floor, shits himself, and starts reciting the Bible.

The least believable part of that is the female officer contributing anything meaningful.

Fucking hell, raped by her son and a car accident towards the end of 2021, Barbara has been getting a real shit hand this year.

Just the one she dealt herself.

 

[Bent_Duck]

Admittedly, we've all got to be a special type of damaged to post here.
Imagine how exceptional someone has to be to get banned from here.
That's Onion Farms.

dead niggers

 

[Turbocuck]

The crash on I-81 in Rockbridge County that people speculated might be Barb wasn't her. From this there were three crashes involving commercial vehicles in Rockbridge county between 11/23 and 11/25, none of which involved anyone over the age of 70.
If you want to audit me here, filter by Rockbridge County, then under type of accident put CMV (FMCSA Reportable), and then group by age.

There was however, one accident in Greene County(where Ruckersville is) involving a truck, with a female over the age of 70 who was injured. The date was the 23rd, so maybe Chris just didn't find out about it until a day later. There are like 18,000 people in Greene county, so it's pretty unlikely to be a coincidence in my opinion.

 

[Ophelia]

Smeagol would remind you

If it weren't for his corpulence, incestual antics, and complete lack of sympathetic qualities, good ol' Smeagol/Gollum might not be a bad counterpart for him, come to think.

“He’s fat! I’m thin!”

---

For everyone wondering how deep coping delusions can go, remember “Shutter Island.” There might be nothing that can snap Chris back into reality.

(Yes, SI is a work of fiction)

 

[Uncle Meat]

That ween who went by the house a month or so ago said he saw Barb come out of the house and drive off. I believe this. It takes a lot to keep the keys away from old folks who shouldn't be driving. This is the kind of thing that can send someone who was already fragile into a downward spiral. We may be seeing the end of the 14 Branchland Court saga. If Barb has to go to a nursing home, someone is going to get hired to come in and liquidate the house.

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

I'm usually not one to just knee-jerk call things fake or a forgery of some kind but I don't believe this is true. For one- I think Borb is too senile to even know how to operate an automobile, and there's no way in hell someone that old, frail, scrawny, and in general ill health would survive a full-on collision with a semi. Secondly, the only source for this is Kengle- a lolcow in his own right who very well could be making shit up for his own clout/15 minutes of internet fame. Thirdly, how the hell would Chris know about this- he's locked up and from his own admission is not allowed to interact with the other inmates. I highly doubt the guards would be sympathetic enough to tell Chris- and even if they were, how the hell would the Guards know? Both Borb and Chris are legal adults now- this isn't like a school where kids are informed of family tragedies it's fucking prison.