Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[salmonellajack]

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Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.

Bet King David could cook a chicken

 

[Adamska]

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Wasn’t sure if this was posted yet, found it on IG.

Great edits everyone, Jr is such a twat and I really hope he actually does lurk the thread to see what a tool he is.

Reminder this whining baby immediately goes "pooped my pants" face and loud-talks at you online or in meat space if you have a single different opinion.

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Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.

And God responded to you by removing your usage of your arm and filling you with rocks. Despite that you still won't stop eating bacon grease and eating 20 pounds of raw meat.

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Jealous much, Jack?

Cope and seethe that PC and LM are getting close to matching your fucking terrible views Jack.

 

[Aaway]

i'm assuming the scalfattys are back from their orlando trip, so given all the recent posts about Qali, i expect one of his burner accounts to show up here any minute now

just make sure you scrub down the toilet where the shitfaced homeless guy puked this morning first, jr

 

[desudesu]

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lol Qali, your wife is huge. Soon she’ll be as fat as Tammy.

Oh my fucking god, the prophecy is coming true. She is literally morphing into Big T 2. Can’t believe the faggot Qali is proud of this hog of a “trophy wife”.

 

[Aaway]

ok grandpa

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Oh my fucking god, the prophecy is coming true. She is literally morphing into Big T 2. Can’t believe the faggot Qali is proud of this hog of a “trophy wife”.

Rapidly transforming into the fat white trash she was on the inside...

Qali is one day going to wake up and see his mom next to him.

ok grandpa

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[AnOminous]

Europe has some of the best food anywhere. I would love to see him go to a REAL Italian restaurant and complains about the small size and the lack of ketchup. Christ, they would burn him at the stake.

Or tell them the pizza is "burned."

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

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Jealous much, Jack?

I never got why boomers like him complain about social media but use them. “Waa waa social media is bad”, then why on you on there? Just get off the sites you don’t like.

 

[captkrisma]

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Jack's fired up and totally not bothered by the haters and their mean livestreams! I'm guessing that he'll be relying on Youtube's broken copyright system rather than God's divine wrath to "deal with them," though.

Jack most likely flew home last night and was notified of the PCLM live stream as soon as they landed. He's been seething all night.

 

[Adamska]

I never got why boomers like him complain about social media but use them. “Waa waa social media is bad”, then why on you on there? Just get off the sites you don’t like.

Jack's just pissed that a twerking teenage girl gets more views than him. This is likely due to narcissism, but just because fuck Jack it might be because he's going "Is this MEAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! LOOKADAT LOOKADAT MEAT! WHY DON'T YOU THINK THAT WET MEET IS HOT?!"

Also, he really wants to pretend he won't go to hell when he dies and he needs to feel superior... you know, as a fat cripple whose wife uses him to scam pity out of. Because people think he's a literal, pants shitting, crayon eating retard.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack's just pissed that a twerking teenage girl gets more views than him. This is likely due to narcissism, but just because fuck Jack it might be because he's going "Is this MEAT NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! LOOKADAT LOOKADAT MEAT! WHY DON'T YOU THINK THAT WET MEET IS HOT?!"

Also, he really wants to pretend he won't go to hell when he dies and he needs to feel superior... you know, as a fat cripple whose wife uses him to scam pity out of. Because people think he's a literal, pants shitting, crayon eating retard.

Worse, actually horrible food videos are going viral (pasta tables, nacho tables, etc) while his genuine attempt at cooking fails to hit 10k.

What we are seeing is Jack becoming almost self-aware. Cooking videos have evolved over time from Julia Childs using a whole hour to show the joys of French cuisine, then youtube chefs like Jack condensing it into 15-20 minute blurbs, to Babish cutting it even further to show just the necessary parts of cooking, to finally TikTok, where they simply show meal prep edited down to 30 seconds.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Let me help:

First, topics popped up on various social media sites. Then, Snap Chat was really popular for about a day. Now it seems like quick videos on Tik Tok are the way to go … it’s like a dog chasing a bone, I say.

This stupid sack of garbage is so goddamn sanctimonious, yet his dumb posts almost always read like a Russian wrote it during a second semester English course. And that’s probably after he’s fucking proof read it.

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

For anyone interested in making their own:

Spoiler

 

[Chorton]

ok grandpa

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Big boomer energy coming through here. Why should we care about what these two ignorant assholes have to say about the new climate of social media? People don’t want to watch low effort content from a bitter old man.

Is it any more degrading than parading around your stroke riddled body onto your dead channel, croaking out videos that have zero value just to deflect criticism about not having a job?

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I can't believe we are already 4 years into the Brianna saga. Shit, it feels like just yesterday they moved out of California to escape "the gay agenda".

Just more evidence that Qtard Cali is a faggot or they were afraid he'd go completely gay and start sucking dick like his uncle and father.

I thought Jack only drinks highly sugary soda…and gravy..

And weak as shit coffee loaded with cream, sugar and flavor shots.

Europeans hate Americans and they really hate Americans like Jack. If he goes somewhere else and acts like he does, he will be getting a punch to the face.

They don't actually hate Americans so much as they hate the "Ugly American" stereotype. You know what I mean, the loud, obnoxious types that wear t-shirts emblazoned with American symbols and complain about EVERYTHING there. A quiet American who goes there, acts politely and isn't a dick is more than welcome especially if it looks like they're making an effort to speak the language.

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If I remember right, cognac only comes from an area in France and isn’t the word for brandy. It’s like champagne. Not all sparkling wine is champagne

Uhmm... everybody? Cognac and brandy are the same thing. It's just one comes from the Cognac region of France. It's a protected name. Like Champagne, Parmigiano Reggiano or Stilton.

Jack probably uses a fanny pack since his canyonesque gut and pancake ass preclude ever getting anything out of his pockets. A shrewd pickpocket would also immediately know to strike from the right.

It was... either in Florence or Naples when we visited that somebody from our group pulled her camera out of her purse, left the purse open for just a sec as she took a picture and when she went to put her camera back her wallet had been stolen. Literally 30 seconds was all it took. One guy grabbed it, handed it to somebody else who handed it to somebody else and eventually they were all lost in the crowd.

We were basically told, don't leave your wallet in your back pocket. Don't leave your purse unattended even for an instant and if you have a fanny pack have it sitting on your front, closed, and with your hands on it at all times. Pickpockets, gypsies and others are always on the look for stupid tourists. The less openings you have, the less likely they will target you. Mushbrain would be targeted the moment he showed up. With his gimp arm, leg and brain he'd be swindled in an instant.

Either that or they'd just tip over his scooty puff like they were doing in South Park and when he's lying on the ground squealing like a pig, they rob him.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Or tell them the pizza is "burned."

"There's no toppings, the crust is too thin and burnt, the sauce is bland (not packed with sugar), and there's not enough cheese!"

I never knew how much I wanted a Jack travel channel.

 

[captkrisma]

You know it's true:

 

[AnOminous]

Jack's just pissed that a twerking teenage girl gets more views than him.

This fat fuck seriously wonders why people would rather look at a chick's ass than a fat retard shoveling slop down his gullet?

And weak as shit coffee loaded with cream, sugar and flavor shots.

What he does to coffee is a war crime and a 12 year old girl would tell him to quit fagging it up so much. Jack weirds me out because he is one of the rare examples of a thoroughly right wing soy boy. The shit he does is stereotypically left wing despite going to some right wing murder church and consistently holding boomer political opinions.

He is also one of the few remaining people who shamelessly makes the soy grimace nearly constantly.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

This fat fuck seriously wonders why people would rather look at a chick's ass than a fat retard shoveling slop down his gullet?

Just more evidence he's gay.

 

[Adamska]

This fat fuck seriously wonders why people would rather look at a chick's ass than a fat retard shoveling slop down his gullet?

Probably. I'm joking a bit, but I legit would expect him to wonder why people would look at dat ass rather than the pork butt he poorly cooked. He is a gastrosexual who cooms when he shoves raw half burned meat down his throat after all.

Anyways here's my shot: