I've always wanted to go to Dollywood (despite not really knowing much about her music, though she seems fucking awesome). Winter is usually the slow season for my bridge, anything else good in that part of TN that Jack would never appreciate but is worth visiting if you aren't a total mushbrain who hates brown people?
This looks like a goddamn cartoon parody of a midwest tourist trap.
They have to go back.
If he is... Go buy the death bacon, Jack. It's delicious and renders plenty of grease to replace that shitty bacon up you use.
If you love the outdoors and hiking, the Smokey Mountain National Park is right outside Gatlinburg. Place of a Thousand Drips and Cataract Falls are highlights for sure. This time of year is good as well because black bears should be bedding down (should because it is unreasonable warm for this time of year). If you like really obscure Simpsons references involving The Sunsphere, Knoxville is an hour away.
Chattanooga is quite pretty too! A bit further south but it has a vibrant bar and restaurant scene plus a opossum rehabilitation center that's surprisingly cool.
You left out Flapjack's Pancake Cabin and the Apple Barn! Also Aunt Granny's.
Fat fuck can barely waddle around his kitchen to grab ingredients and he uses a motorized wheelchair on vacations, cope harder Jack.
Don't you mean the Wigsphere at the Wod Fir?
It’s an obviously terrible photoshop, my dude.
He says it's "very rummy," and gives it "a B+, an A-, maybe even an A."
If so, my money is on Jack Jr for being younger, likely more familiar with internet sites, and acting like an A&N regular.
WE SEE YOU FLOPPY BOWL!
Jack won't eat vegetables unless they're slathered in cheese and bacon grease, you think for a moment he'll become one?
My bad, I had a mush brain moment.
What's wrong with Big T's voice? Did she get the 'rona or did she lose her voice from yelling at her fat worthless fuck of a husband?
