Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Judge Dredd]

To try to make the audience root for the "good guys" more, you could also include some things in the flashback to make the rednecks seem more evil, like make them bigots or imply losing their jerbs was their own fault, or have them kick puppies. Basically tack everything we can to make sure the audience knows they're bad.

They like the Sonic movie.

Would Sarah Conner be a mid forties frumpy woman as is common in current year, or would she be a hot lesbian dominatrix that Bob likes?

A year? That's exceedingly generous of you. Try an entire lifetime; nay, lifetimes.

How many Care Bears but Paradise Lost scripts has Elon written?

Still I think you STILL made this too smart for this to be a bob work. You gave it your best, but you can't recreate the delusional arrogance that Bob had when he shat out that Care Bears or Captain Planet pitch.

Agreed. I think if Bob really made it, Kyle would attack Sarah Conner on sight, and the robots only flaw would be being too awesome.

Bob's getting annoyed from all the updates and notifications for all the different tranny and sissy hypno servers he's part of

Doesn't know how to use Discord? Sounds like one of those tech illiterate obsoletes he likes to complain about.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

You know something, Bob is like the Brutes form Halo, minus their brute strength.

• Both are incredibly stupid and gullible.
• Both fuck their lives over for believing in stupid beliefs that are made from bullshit.
• Both smell bad.
• Both are ugly and disgusting looking.
• Both continually to blindly worship stupid nonsense long after it fucked their lives over.
• Both follow liars and con artists.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

You know something, Bob is like the Brutes form Halo, minus their brute strength.

• Both are incredibly stupid and gullible.
• Both fuck their lives over for believing in stupid beliefs that are made from bullshit.
• Both smell bad.
• Both are ugly and disgusting looking.
• Both continually to blindly worship stupid nonsense long after it fucked their lives over.
• Both follow liars and con artists.

You make some good points. But on the other hand, Brutes have discipline, courage, and can actually get laid.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

How many Care Bears but Paradise Lost scripts has Elon written?

He started one, but then the Care Bear Cousins are introduced and there's a swimming pool... he insists it's a comedy but no one else seems quite so amused.

 

[Tronathon242]

Occupy Democrats is literally funded by a hedge fund. If Warren is standing against the billionaires - which is about as likely as Moviebob sobering up - then Occupy Democrats are with them.

They're also very Bob-like in their takes these days. According to them, if you don't get the jab then you basically shouldn't be allowed to live as a normal human being.

You know something, Bob is like the Brutes form Halo, minus their brute strength.

• Both are incredibly stupid and gullible.
• Both fuck their lives over for believing in stupid beliefs that are made from bullshit.
• Both smell bad.
• Both are ugly and disgusting looking.
• Both continually to blindly worship stupid nonsense long after it fucked their lives over.
• Both follow liars and con artists.

Might explain why he thinks the UNSC and the Spartans are like white supremacists then.

Still tweeting about everything but the movie

OH MY GAWD IT'S TWO AND A HALF HOURS OF NOSTALGIA BAIT!?!?

Review: A Spidey sense overdose in 'No Way Home'

Spider-Man movies have come in such flurries over the last two decades that you could...

www.sfgate.com

View attachment 2802679

I can sit and watch a Scorcese gangster movie and 150 minutes+ just flies right by and I'm satisfied. Sitting through these marathon capeshit sessions feels like a slog and and isn't fulfilling. The difference in filmmaking, pacing, and acting is massive.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Alright. Thankfully, it's fucking over. I read the very last MovieBob script and, mercifully, I was able to speed-read it and finish it in about half an hour. And I must say, I'm really impressed... at how little there was to it. I'm glad I rushed through it as fast as possible, because it was yet another boring nothing burger.

There's absolutely nothing special or new about Bob's take on Care Bears. Despite trying to make it like Paradise Lost, it's absolutely nothing like it at all. I expected an edgy Care Bears reboot, but philosophically and emotionally, there's absolutely nothing more complex or deep about this shit that the original Care Bears series touched on itself. It's just more """self aware""". Cloudkeeper is a bad guy because Bob hates god and his dad, but instead of being an omnipotent and uncaring creator god, he's a bumbling, oblivious idiot who doesn't realize everything he does throughout the entire story only sabotages himself and turns everyone against him. I expected an edgy grimdark reboot akin to a Robot Chicken sketch stretched out to two hours. Instead I got "regular Care Bears written by a whiny millennial with daddy issues, and Cloudkeeper is an arbitrary villain."

The story's moral is "Grumpy isn't a villain just because he's grumpy! It's okay to feel sad sometimes, being sad means you care!" is something the actual fucking shows and movies already did, and it's been the lesson of children's media for fucking half a century now. There's no new or useful revelations or changes. The only thing it changes is it makes a massive fucking plothole where apparently even though Cloudkeeper wants to turn everyone on the planet into constantly grinning, brainless gimps he still made a being that opposes everything he's trying to do and treated him favorably for presumably an eternity. Is it supposed to be like God and Satan? Because God kicked Satan out of heaven the second he started acting like a tool. Cloudkeeper kept Grumpy around for millions of years despite being Grumpy. Bob, you're a hack.

So is there anything different about this version? Yeah, it's the fucking MCU formula again, in a non-superhero property this time for some inexplicable goddamn reason. It's even worse this time because Bob even copies the cliche of a big blue space laser in the sky destroying a big city that the heroes have to stop. Don't forget the villain origin story and the post-credits scene setting up a new villain nobody who doesn't follow the franchise has a reason to care about (just like the fucking Jem movie and his Captain Planet pitch, fucking hack). We get the perfect allegory for Bob's philosophy on film making right in the intro: two giant, unformed CGI special effects clash against each other and explode right at the start of the movie, with no context for what they are, who to root for or why we should care. This is Bobian Film Design down to it's most basic principles.

So, yeah, honestly? I didn't exactly need to read this. It was nearly identical to his Captain Planet pitch, except he expects you to care about a franchise for preschoolers this time. Dumb as shit.

But overall, I'm actually happy, because there's no more. I fucking finished it. Rest in piss, Bobby Boy. There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left!

 

[Adamska]

But overall, I'm actually happy, because there's no more. I fucking finished it. Rest in piss, Bobby Boy. There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left!

Oh now I wouldn't say that.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

Alright. Thankfully, it's fucking over. I read the very last MovieBob script and, mercifully, I was able to speed-read it and finish it in about half an hour. And I must say, I'm really impressed... at how little there was to it. I'm glad I rushed through it as fast as possible, because it was yet another boring nothing burger.

There's absolutely nothing special or new about Bob's take on Care Bears. Despite trying to make it like Paradise Lost, it's absolutely nothing like it at all. I expected an edgy Care Bears reboot, but philosophically and emotionally, there's absolutely nothing more complex or deep about this shit that the original Care Bears series touched on itself. It's just more """self aware""". Cloudkeeper is a bad guy because Bob hates god and his dad, but instead of being an omnipotent and uncaring creator god, he's a bumbling, oblivious idiot who doesn't realize everything he does throughout the entire story only sabotages himself and turns everyone against him. I expected an edgy grimdark reboot akin to a Robot Chicken sketch stretched out to two hours. Instead I got "regular Care Bears written by a whiny millennial with daddy issues, and Cloudkeeper is an arbitrary villain."

The story's moral is "Grumpy isn't a villain just because he's grumpy! It's okay to feel sad sometimes, being sad means you care!" is something the actual fucking shows and movies already did, and it's been the lesson of children's media for fucking half a century now. There's no new or useful revelations or changes. The only thing it changes is it makes a massive fucking plothole where apparently even though Cloudkeeper wants to turn everyone on the planet into constantly grinning, brainless gimps he still made a being that opposes everything he's trying to do and treated him favorably for presumably an eternity. Is it supposed to be like God and Satan? Because God kicked Satan out of heaven the second he started acting like a tool. Cloudkeeper kept Grumpy around for millions of years despite being Grumpy. Bob, you're a hack.

So is there anything different about this version? Yeah, it's the fucking MCU formula again, in a non-superhero property this time for some inexplicable goddamn reason. It's even worse this time because Bob even copies the cliche of a big blue space laser in the sky destroying a big city that the heroes have to stop. Don't forget the villain origin story and the post-credits scene setting up a new villain nobody who doesn't follow the franchise has a reason to care about (just like the fucking Jem movie and his Captain Planet pitch, fucking hack). We get the perfect allegory for Bob's philosophy on film making right in the intro: two giant, unformed CGI special effects clash against each other and explode right at the start of the movie, with no context for what they are, who to root for or why we should care. This is Bobian Film Design down to it's most basic principles.

So, yeah, honestly? I didn't exactly need to read this. It was nearly identical to his Captain Planet pitch, except he expects you to care about a franchise for preschoolers this time. Dumb as shit.

But overall, I'm actually happy, because there's no more. I fucking finished it. Rest in piss, Bobby Boy. There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left!

Holy shit, he even doesn’t try to utilize the themes of Paradise Lost in his pitch.

It’s appalling jackasses like Bob oversimplify children cartoons to make it self indulgent allegories for their political and personal issues. Care Bears were literally about the different emotions people go through and the values children need to learn growing up. That’s it.

And I said this before, but I hope someone really does a legitimate deconstruction of the MCU formula and expose what a shallow formula it really is.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Oh now I wouldn't say that.

Oh, let me rephrase: There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left that's actually notable enough to bother reading.

You know what's gonna happen in MCU X-Men? The same thing that happens in every superhero movie ever made.

(There was an edit here, but I moved it to its own post)

 

[JayHarrison]

Moviebob's obsession with Natural Selection™ rears its ugly head:

If natural selection had taken course uninterrupted, Moviebob would never have made it beyond the age of three.

Populism is Bad™:

Yep. The majority of voters cast ballots in 2020 were for Fuckwit in Chief Joe Biden. Ergo, the majority of 2020 voters are literally idiots.

---

Moviebob has lived in a stupid country for forty years:

Bob may have a point about America being stupid. No country in which 81,000,000+ voters elect joe Biden into the White Hosue can legitimately be called intelligent any more. But that would mean America's only been stupid for a mere thirteen months.

---

Moviebob is noseblind:

Do you know what having fewer Moviebobs in your neighborhood does in any given situation? Your neighborhood air quality significantly improves, its average IQ increases by several hundred points, its general demeanor becomes more pleasant...

Living downwind from a Trumper, on the other hand? The only smell I 'd experience is a smorgasboard of meat (and some veggies) being cooked to perfection on an open grill.

 

[Adamska]

Oh, let me rephrase: There's no more hackneyed fanfiction left that's actually notable enough to bother reading.

You know what's gonna happen in MCU X-Men? The same thing that happens in every superhero movie ever made.

I'll literally sum it up: Bob shoves as many titles as possible in it and the bad guy is Mr. Sinister this time. It's also stuffed to the gills with way too many X-men because he's a crayon eating retard who doesn't know what pacing or plot structure is.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Did someone say Elizabeth Warren?
View attachment 2801260

Elon actually did far better than the "Senator Karen" comment:

He's still digging at her today, Robert better rescue his Senator from the bad "APARTHEID EMERALD MINE TECH-BRO":

A Black academic parasite makes noise, and Bobby and Arkle rush to feed on her Black bottom:
View attachment 2801440

Please don't call NHJ an academic, it hurts. She's never published anything, she has only a Masters in Journalism, barely actually worked as a journalist and was still handed a tenured faculty position by Howard. Though I guess that does make her a fit "modern" academic. Nevermind my initial complaint.

Also Robert has no idea who she is, she did not do a "research study on the history of American slavery" at all. She wrote an ahistorical essay introduction (effectively sourced to nothing) to a bunch of other essays.

 

[Smithfield Ham]

Holy shit, he even doesn’t try to utilize the themes of Paradise Lost in his pitch.

It’s appalling jackasses like Bob oversimplify children cartoons to make it self indulgent allegories for their political and personal issues. Care Bears were literally about the different emotions people go through and the values children need to learn growing up. That’s it.

And I said this before, but I hope someone really does a legitimate deconstruction of the MCU formula and expose what a shallow formula it really is.

I don't think Bob ever even read the Wikipedia Synopsis for Paradise Lost. I think he just namedropped it to sound interesting, but the similarities are so shallow it comes off like he only reading a single sentence in a description of it someone else wrote. I mean, this guy's brain is too smooth to comprehend the subtle complexities of Care Bears itself, did you really expect him to capture the tone and themes of an 18th epic poem?

You're right about the MCU formula being shallow, but I have my own take: the formula is shallow because it's just a bare-bones skeleton to hang the actually interesting and engaging parts of your movie on. That's why there are good MCU movies, bad ones, and mediocre ones. The first Thor is interesting because it's about an exiled god crashing to earth and coping with life in a redneck town while trying to regain his honor and powers, all while his trickster god brother is perpetrating an elaborate scheme to take over their kingdom. Thor 2, however, is about a bunch of silly CGI monsters fighting. Thor 3 is better, etc.

That's Bob's problem. He understands the MCU formula, but he doesn't understand it isn't interesting or compelling on its own, and that just blandly applying it to a popular franchise doesn't automatically make it good or marketable.

 

[The Ugly One]

I don't really understand the way liberals can simultaneously scream that everyone who hasn't been to college and has a sub-100 IQ must be herded into death camps, and their loud, constant, public adulation of black people.

 

[EnemyStand]

I don't really understand the way liberals can simultaneously scream that everyone who hasn't been to college and has a sub-100 IQ must be herded into death camps, and their loud, constant, public adulation of black people.

The niggers go to college on highly favorable Affirmative Action style scholarships. They don't graduate, but they go.

 

[Positron]

Vote! Because Republicans smell bad.




MOS fantasizes the fragmentation of the US.


The Educated Elites convene to deal with the Stupid Uprising.

" If natural selection played out uninterrupted, no Trump voters would've made it out of their pre-teens." - quoted for easy search.



Glenn Greenwald discusses a particular bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, which Bobby thinks has caused 800000 deaths.



We will continue to monitor Bobby's inevitable bodily disintegration. You know, for fun.

---

DeSantis says his State will foot the legal bills for parents who successfully sue schools for brainwashing kids with CRT:


The Squad:


Rittenhouse doesn't only walk free; he is going places.

I haven't spent time with Rittenhouse so I cannot gauge his aptitude or assess his skills in the health-care field, but at least he is conscientious, which is more than I can say about Bobby.


(The 36-part thread about obsolete white trash and stolen elections, if you value time less than Bobby and I do.)

---

Elon Musk:





Meanwhile, Warren is being tended by her gaggle of Medicine Men.


"Does the fedora make me look fat?"

Bobby will always make way for M'Lady. What a gallant.


The study relied on on-line self-reports, and was conducted by The Trevor Project. Make it what you will.


I don't like J. K. Rowling. I don't like J. K. Rowling at all. But if she uses her fame and resources to make the truth heard, she is doing immense good.

Angelic genocide:



Tell your Angels that data have consistently showed they have a lower likelihood of being murdered than normal people.

---

Morbius:

So Bobby hates Morbius because he loves Big Pharma.

Bobby gets bested by Elite Tech Bros: a presage of Superior Future.


Chipman family sighting in Texas:

 

[The Ugly One]

The niggers go to college on highly favorable Affirmative Action style scholarships. They don't graduate, but they go.

A lot of them don't even get out of high school, and then they die from a buttmeth overdose and become worshiped.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Glenn Greenwald discusses a particular bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome, which Bobby thinks has caused 800000 deaths.
View attachment 2804230

So Robert does actually believe that Donald Trump personally started COVID. Interesting.

And that this for some reason means no one can ever again criticize Democrats when they're abjectly stupid? That must be why he tries to distract people from Joe Biden's refusal to cancel student debt and refusal to end COVID as he promised.

View attachment 2804142

"I can't imagine how it makes any sense to use one's fame and resources to put others down."

I must assume that Robert re-tweeted this out of a wonderful sense of irony.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Recall what we know about how Bob dresses for special occasions.

If there is one thing that drives me up the wall when it comes to Bob, it's his fashion sense. The t-shirt, jeans, and a blazer combo makes me feel visceral disgust every time I see it. Even when he is is a nice suit, it's ill fitting and/or he's wearing white athletic socks instead of nice dress socks. I'm glad Bob is back living with his mother so she can pick out his outfits for him so he doesn't dress like a mong.

 

[The Ugly One]

So Robert does actually believe that Donald Trump personally started COVID. Interesting.

He believes Hilldawg would have sprung into action as soon as the CDC 180d on stigmatizing Asians being the real threat (remember that?) and come up with this incredible science-believing plan that would have eradicated COVID from the Earth within days.

And that this for some reason means no one can ever again criticize Democrats when they're abjectly stupid? That must be why he tries to distract people from Joe Biden's refusal to cancel student debt and refusal to end COVID as he promised.

Yes. Criticizing a Democrat might convince someone to not vote for one, which would mean that a representative of mayoghoulen bigotry would win an election and snatch the SOOPEYEEYAH FYOOCHA from Bob's fat, oily fingers once again. Sure, Democrats might be corrupt retards who turn cities into wastelands, but Republicans want to dig up Hitler's body, put it in a mech suit, and send it to Baltimore to kill all the aspiring rappers.