Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[the khat quaffer]

A duck examines Garbage Stew.

In case there was any doubt, "garbage" dishes are a fun thing you can do. At an old job I used to have making pizzas, near the end of the night if spirits were high (or low) enough, we'd sacrifice a ball of dough, some sauce, and litter it with all the toppings that fell into the pits. The pits are just the trays beneath the racks that catch excess toppings that fall down when we're putting the toppings on for customers. We're supposed to "pick the pits" at the end of the night shift and return them to their compartments to not waste toppings.

It's called garbage because we're just throwing whatever toppings fell down. It actually worked quite well most times...but that's because all that stuff could go on a pizza and it would still be a pizza, not some...foodie necronomicon. The result was, by definition, unusual, if you're not fond of of stuff like black olives and pineapple being smushed together, but the result still lied within the realm of possibility. Problem with Jack's shit is, he grabbed his "garbage" ingredients from an entire kitchen filled with stuff that in many cases couldn't conceivably go in the same dish.

It's through Godjesus's own intervention he didn't throw ammonia and bleach in the lazy turd stew.

And here's the point to remember: The thing with "garbage" dishes is, they're, by definition, the easiest things to make. There's no real art to it, you don't have to worry about what's going in it (generally). It's amazing and all too predictable that Jacko fucked up one of man's easiest, most quintessential lazy-man dishes. Literal ｒｅｔａｒｄ cuisine, and he fucked it up.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

it's pretty amazing how popular this thread has become within the last year or so. two years ago today we were on page 464 and that was a little over four years after the thread was started

cheers to another 1776 pages, foodjacks

Pandemic Jack has been the funniest fucking thing

 

[Sonic T]

That garbage stew is like when you're a kid in a restaurant and you mix all the condiments together for fun.

 

[captkrisma]

That garbage stew is like when you're a kid in a restaurant and you mix all the condiments together for fun.

I used to make "garbage dip" at the Mexican restaurant I used to work at. Pico de Gallo, ranch dressing and a little salt. It was great as a mid shift snack because it didn't cost anything and our pico was fucking great. So great I stole the recipe from the head cook and make my own now.

I've been inspired to make my own Plum Pudding now that I've seen fucking 3 videos in so many days featuring it (Jack, FoodWishes, and Townsends). I won't try and get drunk off butter.

Townsends actually provides a fun fact that people of all social spectrums enjoyed plum pudding, even providing a journal entry from a workhouse (read: the poors) from 1724 stating the workers got it for Christmas. This somewhat confirms that Scrooge didn't provide the meal, just that he crashed the party, and that Tiny Tim's request for God to bless them seems a little bleaker than it was intended.

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Someone mentioned the Raleigh spot was in a LGBTQ area maybe Jack was afraid of running into someone he knew.

 

[Pig Cups]

In case there was any doubt, "garbage" dishes are a fun thing you can do. At an old job I used to have making pizzas, near the end of the night if spirits were high (or low) enough, we'd sacrifice a ball of dough, some sauce, and litter it with all the toppings that fell into the pits. The pits are just the trays beneath the racks that catch excess toppings that fall down when we're putting the toppings on for customers. We're supposed to "pick the pits" at the end of the night shift and return them to their compartments to not waste toppings.

It's called garbage because we're just throwing whatever toppings fell down. It actually worked quite well most times...but that's because all that stuff could go on a pizza and it would still be a pizza, not some...foodie necronomicon. The result was, by definition, unusual, if you're not fond of of stuff like black olives and pineapple being smushed together, but the result still lied within the realm of possibility. Problem with Jack's shit is, he grabbed his "garbage" ingredients from an entire kitchen filled with stuff that in many cases couldn't conceivably go in the same dish.

It's through Godjesus's own intervention he didn't throw ammonia and bleach in the lazy turd stew.

And here's the point to remember: The thing with "garbage" dishes is, they're, by definition, the easiest things to make. There's no real art to it, you don't have to worry about what's going in it (generally). It's amazing and all too predictable that Jacko fucked up one of man's easiest, most quintessential lazy-man dishes. Literal ｒｅｔａｒｄ cuisine, and he fucked it up.

This actually reminds me of my grandmother- her family was poor before they emigrated to the US, and as a result of her early life experiences, wasting food was anathema to her. Her version of “garbage dishes” were these things called “musco soups” and “musco salads” (basically anything in the fridge that must go).

She was pretty hardcore against wasting food, to the point that if she saw a piece of bread on the sidewalk, she’d kiss it like she did the icons in the orthodox churches before moving it aside so it wouldn’t get stepped on.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Pandemic Jack has been the funniest fucking thing

The Pandemic, if anything, has been great for Jack's exposure...or rather, would be great for his exposure and views if he wasn't naturally repellent.

He's been featured on so many bad cook streams by big Youtubers since it started, likely as a result of people exploring new indoor hobbies like cooking and stumbling across him. Kay got lots of new people watching her this way and based on her view numbers a fair of bit of them actually are sticking around to a point where she got her silver plaque:

So, why aren't they sticking around for Jack? I think it's because of his negativity which comes on full display in Jack on the Go. Jack doesn't help people forget the Pandemic for a moment because when he goes out, he complains about the magic table and will otherwise inject politics in the video and if he doesn't, Qali or /Paul/ will and Jack won't wrangle them.

While I have heard people say Kay has been found to have posted racist things online, you have to go out of your way to find it and it doesn't show up in the videos.

How the fuck are they afraid of drunks when Jack repeatedly uses alcohol in his dishes as a way to get drunk? Also, Dr. Chastity Glove and/or Robert were drinking throughout the trip. It doesn’t make any sense.

I would treat this as some kind of euphemism for urbans.

 

[Aaway]

i really don't understand fatty's obsession with hating on this movie. and of course, stroke brain is far too retarded to understand why warner's story is perfect for hollywood

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I mean these guys look dumb but Qali you're just mad they actually made bank off rapping and you won't.

Qtard Cali is upset that he's not making bank like these guys are.

While I have heard people say Kay has been found to have posted racist things online, you have to go out of your way to find it and it doesn't show up in the videos.

Kay's food might be revolting but she's so... honest about it. She's a terrible cook but that doesn't matter to her. Mushbrain on the other hand is convinced that he's this great chef that deserves his own cooking show on the Food Network.

That's the difference. They both make shit food but at least Kay is honest about it.

 

[stets]

While I have heard people say Kay has been found to have posted racist things online, you have to go out of your way to find it and it doesn't show up in the videos.

Kay's practically a senior citizen who is very, very working class in Britain. I'd be shocked if she wasn't a little bit racist with her background. But who cares since she's a sweet, honest, humble person.

Jack is racist but should know better. He's younger, grew up around minorities, comes from a liberal state. and is in a better socioeconomic position than Kay. Hell, a big part of him isn't even white. But he not only doesn't know better but is actively racist in his cooking shows. Being so racist that it bleeds into completely unrelated content about cooking meals and eating out is one hell of an achievement. He's also an unlikeable jerk and actively unpleasant, so he will never garner sympathy or have people look past it like they do with Kay.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

The Pandemic, if anything, has been great for Jack's exposure...or rather, would be great for his exposure and views if he wasn't naturally repellent.

He's been featured on so many bad cook streams by big Youtubers since it started, likely as a result of people exploring new indoor hobbies like cooking and stumbling across him. Kay got lots of new people watching her this way and based on her view numbers a fair of bit of them actually are sticking around to a point where she got her silver plaque:

So, why aren't they sticking around for Jack? I think it's because of his negativity which comes on full display in Jack on the Go. Jack doesn't help people forget the Pandemic for a moment because when he goes out, he complains about the magic table and will otherwise inject politics in the video and if he doesn't, Qali or /Paul/ will and Jack won't wrangle them.

While I have heard people say Kay has been found to have posted racist things online, you have to go out of your way to find it and it doesn't show up in the videos.


I would treat this as some kind of euphemism for urbans.

The silver, gold and so on play buttons are based on your channels subscriber count
silver= 100k subs
gold= 1 million subs
and so on

Jack should have his silver pla button recieved years ago, otoh the award is at the discretion of YouTube which means not everybody gets one even if they're fullfilling the requirements.
It could be that Jack is on a YouTube naughty list, maybe some unknown YouTube employee tried one of his reciepes and barely survived.

Qtard Cali is upset that he's not making bank like these guys are.


Kay's food might be revolting but she's so... honest about it. She's a terrible cook but that doesn't matter to her. Mushbrain on the other hand is convinced that he's this great chef that deserves his own cooking show on the Food Network.

That's the difference. They both make shit food but at least Kay is honest about it.

Her food maybe is revovlting, but tbh, I haven't seen her presenting undercooked almost raw chicken like Jack did time and time again.
TBH, I think it's more the looks which make her food look revolting but I really do think that Kay's stuff is edible contrary to Jack's kitchen abominations.

Her Round Banana Bread doesn't look that bad. Looks better than Jack's cum pudding tbh.

Her rissoles don't look good by they're not raw like Jack would serve them. They're not even bad, it's just that Kay lacks the proper skills. But I still would eat them.

Kay is coming from a working class background and it seems her and her family are extremely dirt poor and most likely she's on wellfare and mildly mentally disabled.
But to be brutaly frank Kay (at least to me) seems like a genuinely likeable person who tries to make the best out of her situation unlike Jack who is a spoiled arrogant temper tantrum throwing fucktard.
I'd rather sit down with Kay and have a nice little chat and eat her stuff while Jack most likely would end up getting a throat punch and I definitely would not eat his shit.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

i really don't understand fatty's obsession with hating on this movie. and of course, stroke brain is far too retarded to understand why warner's story is perfect for hollywood

View attachment 2805673

Because it’s not a Tim Tebow biopic, that’s why.

 

[cookingwithja/ck/]

Because it’s not a Tim Tebow biopic, that’s why.

Ironically Warner is probably more religious than Tebow

 

[Aaway]

Because it’s not a Tim Tebow biopic, that’s why.

yeah pretty much. of course jack wasn't aware of warner's story because 1. he doesn't know jack shit about football and 2. warner didn't go around shoving his faith into peoples faces during his career like tebow did

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

yeah pretty much. of course jack wasn't aware of warner's story because 1. he doesn't know jack shit about football...

Jack knowing jackshit about something is becoming quite a long list, tbh.

 

[EvilDroid64]

yeah pretty much. of course jack wasn't aware of warner's story because 1. he doesn't know jack shit about football and 2. warner didn't go around shoving his faith into peoples faces during his career like tebow did

View attachment 2805726

So now it's good because Warner is a Christian? He'll probably go see it on Christmas because he probably goes to the movies on Christmas, then give it a good review because Warner is a believer. Warner was never shy about his Christianity, but he certainly wasn't as open about it as Tebow was.

Spoiler: The Story of Kurt Warner

For those not familiar with Kurt Warner, he was undrafted by the NFL out of college and was stocking grocery shelves for minimum wage and living in his girlfriend's parents' basement when they got killed by a tornado. He then found success in arena football, which pays much less than the NFL. After arena football, he became a backup quarterback in the NFL, then got pushed into the starting role when the St. Louis Rams' starting quarterback got injured in a preseason game. That year, he won the Super Bowl, Super Bowl MVP award and NFL MVP award. The movie probably stops here, but he lost the Super Bowl in a close game two years later to Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. He then played a season with the New York Giants, was a mentor to Eli Manning there, and retired with the Arizona Cardinals after being injured, partially due to the New Orleans Saints' bounty scandal.

It's exactly the rags-to-riches story that Hollywood would make a movie out of and it's stupid that this is the film that Mushbrain is seething over.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

Tammy’s Dallas Cowboys Tim Tebow jersey is the sports fan version of someone’s fan-fic that sees Spock join forces with Jedis to overthrow Lord Voldermort.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

The silver, gold and so on play buttons are based on your channels subscriber count
silver= 100k subs
gold= 1 million subs
and so on

Jack should have his silver pla button recieved years ago, otoh the award is at the discretion of YouTube which means not everybody gets one even if they're fullfilling the requirements.
It could be that Jack is on a YouTube naughty list, maybe some unknown YouTube employee tried one of his reciepes and barely survived.

I can't think of anything more damaging than Youtube giving him a silver plaque and then he uses it to beat his son with it.

If so, Youtube made a wise choice.

 

[Sonic T]

Jack On The Go Fuck Yourself, amirite

 

[rubytintedchix]

Tammy’s Dallas Cowboys Tim Tebow jersey is the sports fan version of someone’s fan-fic that sees Spock join forces with Jedis to overthrow Lord Voldermort.

View attachment 2805749

Tammy could most definitely be an NFL linebacker. Damn son. She could definitely take someone out with those broad shoulders.