Prison Letters Dec 22, 2021 Letter - Chris Reveals the New Ten Commandments

[m1ddl3m4rch]

- Clocks with no arms.

are the details for my personally updating the Christianity Religions to Neo Spiritual Christianity

Neo Spiritual Christianity​

Spoiler: Commandments transcript

*1

• 1. Hear O CWCville, one or multiple Gods, Goddesses, and Demi-Gods, or even none at all; which ever feels well and good with thee is thy G-d, the one or multiple Gods, Goddesses, and Demi-Gods, or even none at all; which ever feels well and good with thee alone.
• 2. Thou may make for yourself a graven image, if thou feelst like it. It has to be nice and not mean.
• 7. All marriages are at least partially open, by definition.
• 8. & 10. My stuff is my stuff.

Yeah Queen Mrs Jesus Christine's revised ten words hit the big three no-no's: blasphemy, idolatry and unbridled sex.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

#9 also gives me that feeling. It's basically a repeat of that Twitter post he made directly after everything was leaked. "Don't give into false rumors that I fucked my mom, guys!"

I read that more as him being mad that he got caught and that it is of course because people lied and told falsehoods about him. That's the only way someone like him who totally didn't do anything wrong whatsoever would be in trouble.

Chris doesn't understand rules or law or boundaries. Everything bad that happens to him is because people don't like him. Jersh et al conspired to lie and get him put in jail because they are evil Dr Robotnik-type villains who wish to attack him personally for no reason.

I've found that taking the absolute dumbest and most petulant selfish and childish option is the best way to explain Chris' thinking and behavior.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

I've found that taking the absolute dumbest and most petulant selfish and childish option is the best way to explain Chris' thinking and behavior.

This Jesus roleplaying is just that! Now he thinks he's totally righteous, invicible, and a role model that everyone should follow, lest they face the apocolypse.

 

[Guardsman42]

This blasphemy makes me wish someone would be allowed to sit with Chris and force him to see that no one believes his "I am God" bullshit, that none of his predictions and prophecies are coming true, and that he's just a fat, delusional mongoloid who is in jail for raping his elderly mother...or force-feed him a Louisville Slugger. I'm good with either so long as we get the video of it happening.

Chris has been confronted with people think he's delusional. He's being forced to face the reality absolutely no one in person believes him right now. He's also coping by completely retreating into the insanity.

I'm pretty sure at some point, even Violence wouldn't do much to him, he'll just some how live in his mind during beatings and eventually be an actual almost brain dead vegetable.

I'd still love to see Chris have a mental breakdown if his make believe worlds were destroyed though.

 

[Warozen_valley]

I know this is a small thing, especially due to the fact Chris just dropped the new word of god but what the fuck is numberology. Like what is this.

 

[Rogowski]

Has anyone ever explained why he always puts a +1 after 24/7/365? Is there an actual reason for it or is it random access humor?

 

[Ophelia]

Spoiler: Commandments transcript

*1 - Thou may have and worship one or multiple Gods, Goddesses, and Demi-Gods, or even none at all; which ever feels well and good with thee.
*2 - Thou may make for yourself an Idol that is safe and good and blessed; thou must not make yourself an Idol that is harmful, toxic, or demonic to you or anyone else.
*3 - Thou must not misuse the name of the Lord your God, or any other God, Goddess, or Demi-God; "God Damn It" shall be punishable as well.
4 - Remember to observe the Sabbath Day (Sunday) by keeping it Holy.
5 - Honor thy Father, Mother, and any or all legal guardians who have helped greatly in your raising and support.
*6 - Thou must not murder, nor commit, or help another to commit, suicide, regardless of circumstances.
*7 - Adultry is okay, well, and good, as long as all involved are direct, open, and honest with each other; thou must not commit adultry in secret from thy partner(s).
8 - Thou must not steal.
*9 - Thou must not testify falsely against thy neighbor, or anyone, nor testify without prior knowledge of the greater contexts and truths of the circumstances and details
10 - Thou must not covet thy neighbor's belongings.

I'm too lazy to do the rest.

You know, I’m not the most religious crayon in the box, but JFC this is some nasty blasphemy.

Somebody please take that Bible away from him. The thees and thous are obnoxious. And here I thought his odd method of communication was sometimes difficult to understand before. God damn it.

 

[Medulseur]

Has anyone ever explained why he always puts a +1 after 24/7/365? Is there an actual reason for it or is it random access humor?

Hyperbole and being extra was always a part of Chris' personality. 24/7/365 + 1 is like something you would see on a cartoon when it's trying to be zany and spastic. Kind of like a cartoon character making a sandwich out of a whole pizza, bone-in ham, and a bowl of cereal if that makes any sense. Chris' entire world as he knows it is just one big cartoon and he's the main character with all of his cartoon pals. This is all especially apparent in his Sonichu comics.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

God damn it.

He's to much of a narcissist to do it himself, so you'll have to do it.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Has anyone ever explained why he always puts a +1 after 24/7/365? Is there an actual reason for it or is it random access humor?

I assume he's probably referring to leap years with how there can be a February 29th

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Neo Spiritual Christianity

Can you imagine how "exceptional" religion would be if Chris succeeded in "upgrading" it?

I gather that if he did "upgrade" religion, it'd have values not unlike those of Sodom and Gomorrah, but with more fictional cartoon characters and giving Chris asspats.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Is it new lore that EVERYONE who's died in the last ten years is trapped in some version of CWCville? No one who's died since Bob knows the peace of death.

Some of Chris's dreams he's "sending to everyone", likely meaning they recur, strike me as the dreams of someone super antsy to get out.

 

[Tikbalang]

This Jesus roleplaying is just that! Now he thinks he's totally righteous, invicible, and a role model that everyone should follow, lest they face the apocolypse.

If he's the role model, society ceased to function.

Can we get to the crucifixion already?

Electric chair is more fitting

---

When Chris says he doesn't want to interact with the haters, he can't distinct between toxicity and criticisms. Null belongs to group with Bella and the Idea Guys.
Thank the guy for the transcript because opening the photos crashes the site. Chris is more happy to explain his religion than telling us anything that is based on reality (like if he lost his anal virginity on the jail shower or a desire to escape from jail if the staff is allowed to ask him that)

 

[Duke Nukem]

*3 - Thou must not misuse the name of the Lord your God, or any other God, Goddess, or Demi-God; "God Damn It" shall be punishable as well.

God Damn It, Chris, just...God Damn It.

Thank you.

1 and 2 seem to contradict each other- no surprise.
3 So if I say God damn it at Chris, how is he going to punish me?
4 I doubt Chris knows the first thing about being holy
5 This coming from a guy who greatly dishonored both parents with his entitlement and stupidity. Unfortunately, said parent cultivated that to begin with.
6 He must've gotten this from Bella when it came to light she wanted him to commit suicide.
7 It's weird that most Christians do engage in adultery, yet still have the gall to preach against it.
8 Chris has a history of stealing.
9 I have a feeling a majority of Chris' neighbors wouldn't mind testifying against him if it means Chris' removal from the neighborhood.
10 This goes back to 8 - Chris has a history of coveting his neighbors' belongings.

It's pretty clear especially with #5 that irony is not his strong suit.

Religion is full of contradictory bullshit but Chris really cranks it up to 11.

This blasphemy makes me wish someone would be allowed to sit with Chris and force him to see that no one believes his "I am God" bullshit, that none of his predictions and prophecies are coming true, and that he's just a fat, delusional mongoloid who is in jail for raping his elderly mother...or force-feed him a Louisville Slugger. I'm good with either so long as we get the video of it happening.

Even if he didn't do what he is accused of, jail is probably the best place for our little mongoloid. Does he really believe his own bullshit or is he just coping with the fact that his life is basically over?

 

[Cedric_Eff]

You know, I’m not the most religious crayon in the box, but JFC this is some nasty blasphemy.

Somebody please take that Bible away from him. The thees and thous are obnoxious. And here I thought his odd method of communication was sometimes difficult to understand before. God damn it.

It's all blasphemy since the beginning. Chris’s always been neck-deep with the mysticism of this world and such. Chris doesn't understand what God expects for people that follows him.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Even if he didn't do what he is accused of, jail is probably the best place for our little mongoloid. Does he really believe his own bullshit or is he just coping with the fact that his life is basically over?

So much copium the Chinese are getting triggered.

Reality was never something Chris understood, but I gotta figure he checked out completely by the end of July. The part of him that knows he's fucked is there, but he's doing his best to drown it out. Sadly he's really good at that.

 

[Spamton G. Spamton]

I know this is a small thing, especially due to the fact Chris just dropped the new word of god but what the fuck is numberology. Like what is this.

Not gonna lie, when I first opened the letter my eyes fixed upon the... uh... very intense numbers being presented. In all seriousness I stared at this one part of the letter for a solid 40 or so seconds. I legitimately have no idea how to interpret it. Autism is one hell of a drug, man.

 

[Stupidface]

I'm convinced that the only way to stop his speech from deteriorating further is to lock him up with no access to any form of media. No reading material. Nothing. Of course, that'd solve several other issues but holy fuck the misuse of "thou" and "thee" is grating.

I wonder how it'd go when he's eventually free if he has the balls to walk into any place of worship and say any of this shit. For his sake, those in attendance better be very Christianly and pray for his psyche to improve, because this is beyond offensive. But for my sake, I hope they're not because that'd be much more entertaining.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

I'm convinced that the only way to stop his speech from deteriorating further is to lock him up with no access to any form of media. No reading material. Nothing. Of course, that'd solve several other issues but holy fuck the misuse of "thou" and "thee" is grating.

Has Chris begun speaking the same way he writes? If he has then that's hilarious.

It's like a medieval knight combined with indian tech support. Big long convoluted sentences to try to sound smarter garnished with ye olde fashioned wording

 

[Stupidface]

Has Chris begun speaking the same way he writes? If he has then that's hilarious.

It's like a medieval knight combined with indian tech support. Big long convoluted sentences to try to sound smarter garnished with ye olde fashioned wording

I assume he must to some degree, but maybe I should've said writing. The latest phone call was short so we didn't get to hear very much, but I don't recall him saying either?
Point stands though because most of the stuff we're gonna see from Chris, for a long while, will be through writing. And this shit makes it an extra slog.

Him trying to sound smart but it completely backfiring isn't new at least, but this seems somehow more retarded if possible.