- Joined
- Jan 14, 2020
Hoping for a Ralph Portugal prison arch
Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream
- Thread starter Ethan Ralphs Micro Peen
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Tommy's Mom
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2021
Dick knows exactly who Metokur is because of NP2. He knows his name, his address, what bank account he uses, his paypal information, and possibly what he looks like. If Dick knows, Ralph knows.
It didn't make sense to me why Metokur was being silent because he is normally all about covering retarded people doing retarded shit. I've spent the past few hours catching up on Ralph lore, and now it makes perfect sense to me. New Project 2 is what effectively silenced Metokur in regards to anything Ralph or Dick related. If he talks, he gets doxxed, and for some reason he really really doesn't want that to happen.
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2019
that 10k burned through from stonetoss nft. he said he got insurance on his ticket. so I don't understand... once Dick was out. why he didn't reroute it to a cheaper destination? approximately half the price. and get a ticket for Meigh.
Jesus. this is the man who kisses 500 dollar prostitutes and then re-ordered same 'tute.
AND Ralph allegedly felt LOVED from that.
ha ha ha
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2020
Truth be told most people would support Gunt's passion for getting the fuck out and away from home if they had a misfortune to live with him @ Meigh. It's easier to believe she prefers absent Gunt over attentive Gunt. Who knows, maybe its days and weeks apart from each other that are making this thing tolerable to both of them.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
Oh, don’t bring me down. There’s no proof he’s actually departing?
I thought it was all a dumb gay op with Dax, esp after “broke my foot” but was really really hoping he was going through with something so epically retarded. When I saw the thread was featured I was shocked because I assumed some proof of his trip was posted.
The pasty front ass having pig better be on a cold lonely beach in Lisbon with his murse taking faggot finger pointing selfies tomorrow.
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2016
Andy has extended family there and has visited a dozen times. He also speaks Portuguese.
Ralph's entire premise was "I'M GONNA VISIT BEFORE THIS SUTTERING RETARD JUDAS SNAKE DOES". Go figure.
Decreased average height by 9 inches.
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2016
He really better think twice than to visit his family. I got a bad feeling that they wont put up with his shit at all.
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2016
I can imagine Meigh frantically tweeting Gunt while he's in Portugal.
"You need to come back! The haters are leaving bottles of baby formula on our front porch."
Antarctica
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2021
Ralph's going to fuck some kids in Portugal. Alawgs BTFO!
what if this leads to an international incident between the gunt remainders after warskis clan kills ralph with his memphis micro out ready to try and rub it on someone nonconsensually? how the fuck am i supposed to claim ralphs body and measure it in the midst of a us portugal cold war?
wes
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2017
Jim has been doxxxXXxXXxXxed since 2018. If people want to believe there's some gay blackmail going on, it's not with that.
Tommy's Mom
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2021
You mean the dox that pinged his address as being in the middle of a literal lake in Minnesota? Does he live in an underwater lake fortress? Your detective skills are top notch, my friend.
Herpes Complex
kiwifarms.net
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- Jan 3, 2022
Good point. With it being a weekend too, you can't call a consulate to check either.
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2017
This is the dumbest waste of money I seen from Ralph, and I saw this dumb fuck drive up to a tranny's house for a fat homo tiddy fight.
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
I agree with the drink in a dark hotel room but I think he will go full cope and brag about how awesome it was and how different than it is from America and how he’s winning that he, a convicted felon, still gets to travel out of the country.
Ah yes what every pregnant woman wants, walk around an airport for half a day, then sit on a plane for the other half just for the luxury of going to a foreign country with no plan, no warm sun and lots of complications if you need to see a doctor. And then 2 days come right back? Oh and your only doing it to spite an internet sperg who you could easily ignore and spend the money on your newborn.
Really nigger mentality, I’ll go to Europe!!! For 2 days… just to motherfuck a nobody.
Tommy's Mom
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2021
If she's in the third trimester, she shouldn't be flying at all.
If this is actually a larp, and Ralph didn't actually go to Portugal, what would be the easiest way to prove it or find evidence?
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2020
Do crimes committed aboard count as probation violations?
if he doesnt stream from portugal im counting as high proofwise as if we had pig himself admit it. dont know about you all maybe some people will say "well actually we dont have verified 100 percent alibis from the fbi with dna proof so pig can still lie with this microscopic shred of deniabililty!" but i for one will take that as proof he didnt do shit and was too pussy to go.
Weeb Slinger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2019
Across the vast span of human history, I doubt there has ever been a more logical and well-executed revenge plot than the one that is currently being enacted by Ethan Ralph upon Andy Warski - a recovering cocaine addict who resembles the estranged son of the fictional submariner, Captain Nemo.
Ralph is quick to point out his genius to those who lack the mental acuity to recognise it for themselves. Linear thinkers must piece together, as best they can, the machinations of the Gunt, while they shield their eyes from the blinding glare of his white-hot intellect. While others might resort to duelling with pistols to settle an old score, no-one besides one of Ralph's equals (there are none currently living) could have predicted that he would flaunt his temporary financial dominance over his nemesis by taking an impromptu weeklong holiday to Portugal, where Warksi apparently has family. Nothing says 'fuck you' quite like fleetingly occupying a hotel room, and boosting the local economy of a land that your enemy holds dear, prior to returning to your American hovel and your expectant skin-walker girlfriend, several thousand dollars worse off.
As I write these words, an Airbus A321 is carrying, in two of its 155 economy seats, the paragon that is Ethan Ralph on his mission of vengeance, superimposed across a giant map of the Atlantic Ocean, like Indiana Jones whenever he flies anywhere. In a display of dominance, Ralph has chosen to undertake the journey alone, forgoing the fair-weather company of his buffoonish and degenerate sidekick, Dick Masterson. Masterson, who recently called off a social engagement so that he could celebrate the birthday of his live-in girlfriend's dog, has attempted to save face, in the wake of this rejection, by claiming to have broken his legfoot. Also absent is Ralph's heavily pregnant horse wife, Meigh, who remains tethered to US soil by her shifts at Subway, and by European restrictions on the import of livestock at short notice.
The brilliance of Ralph's scheme is that, in common with the anti-shart medication that he will have double-dosed on prior to his flight, his revenge will release its poison slowly, until its cumulative effects become so unbearable that Warski will be reduced to a sobbing wreck, balled-up in the corner of his room, being consoled by red-jacketed officers from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
When Ralph, in a nod to Tarantino, condenses the differences between MacDonald's in Portugal and MacDonald's in the United States, into a pithy tweet, Warski's food will turn to ashes in his mouth.
When Ralph broadens his command of a foreign language by learning the Portuguese word for 'felted' (Feltrado) in one of the country's respectable casinos, Warksi will be silent and brooding.
When Ralph gains a deeper understanding of Portuguese customs, following an ugly skirmish with locals, Warksi will be despondent and inactive.
The opportunity to telephone the US Consulate from the cellblock of a Portuguese police station is an experience that will be forever denied to Andy Warski.
Ethan's retribution is the equivalent of mental quicksand. The more effort that Warski expends in his attempts to escape, the deeper into it he will sink. In the words of one of America's most highly decorated veterans: "You're fucking dead, kiddo" (in Portuguese Minecraft).
Ralph is quick to point out his genius to those who lack the mental acuity to recognise it for themselves. Linear thinkers must piece together, as best they can, the machinations of the Gunt, while they shield their eyes from the blinding glare of his white-hot intellect. While others might resort to duelling with pistols to settle an old score, no-one besides one of Ralph's equals (there are none currently living) could have predicted that he would flaunt his temporary financial dominance over his nemesis by taking an impromptu weeklong holiday to Portugal, where Warksi apparently has family. Nothing says 'fuck you' quite like fleetingly occupying a hotel room, and boosting the local economy of a land that your enemy holds dear, prior to returning to your American hovel and your expectant skin-walker girlfriend, several thousand dollars worse off.
As I write these words, an Airbus A321 is carrying, in two of its 155 economy seats, the paragon that is Ethan Ralph on his mission of vengeance, superimposed across a giant map of the Atlantic Ocean, like Indiana Jones whenever he flies anywhere. In a display of dominance, Ralph has chosen to undertake the journey alone, forgoing the fair-weather company of his buffoonish and degenerate sidekick, Dick Masterson. Masterson, who recently called off a social engagement so that he could celebrate the birthday of his live-in girlfriend's dog, has attempted to save face, in the wake of this rejection, by claiming to have broken his legfoot. Also absent is Ralph's heavily pregnant horse wife, Meigh, who remains tethered to US soil by her shifts at Subway, and by European restrictions on the import of livestock at short notice.
The brilliance of Ralph's scheme is that, in common with the anti-shart medication that he will have double-dosed on prior to his flight, his revenge will release its poison slowly, until its cumulative effects become so unbearable that Warski will be reduced to a sobbing wreck, balled-up in the corner of his room, being consoled by red-jacketed officers from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
When Ralph, in a nod to Tarantino, condenses the differences between MacDonald's in Portugal and MacDonald's in the United States, into a pithy tweet, Warski's food will turn to ashes in his mouth.
When Ralph broadens his command of a foreign language by learning the Portuguese word for 'felted' (Feltrado) in one of the country's respectable casinos, Warksi will be silent and brooding.
When Ralph gains a deeper understanding of Portuguese customs, following an ugly skirmish with locals, Warksi will be despondent and inactive.
The opportunity to telephone the US Consulate from the cellblock of a Portuguese police station is an experience that will be forever denied to Andy Warski.
Ethan's retribution is the equivalent of mental quicksand. The more effort that Warski expends in his attempts to escape, the deeper into it he will sink. In the words of one of America's most highly decorated veterans: "You're fucking dead, kiddo" (in Portuguese Minecraft).
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2018
I don’t like IRL doing anything in regards to Ralph or any Lolcow.
Call the airline and say your from his HR department and wanted to know if he flew business or economy class as it wasn’t clear on his invoice.
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