Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[Zilortha]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

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THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
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It's probably been said 1000X but @Null or whoever can needs to update the front page. This is wild.

 

[Christorian X]

Realistically WTF are they going to do if he ignores a bill from a Portuguese hospital?

Its not so much the financial issue but depending on the legal issues behind it, he may have to go back to the judge who just told him to stay out of trouble...

 

[Retink]

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Needs more broken ankle on Dax. It's funny how out of those three Andy has avoided being horribly injured so far.

He will probably just not pay.

There's not really much that can be done RE medical debt incurred in another country.

It probably wont even affect his credit score.

That would normally be the case, but I wonder how that would affect his suspended sentence.

 

[Disheveled Human]

You can't make this shit up.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

My thoughts and prayers go out to Ralph's man purse, now that it has fallen into the lustful hands of swarthy gypsies, and is destined to be repurposed as a feedbag for a horse, a bellows in a child's accordion, or in any number of offensive cultural stereotypes, of the kind that run wild in the florid masturbation fantasies of Killstream associate, Mark Collett.

The assault upon its former owner raises some pressing philosophical questions that will need to be answered on a future edition of the show:

What price should be paid by the underage transsexual prostitute who violently steals the designer purse of another man, in the hypothetical Collett ethnostate? Surely the thief should, at the very least, forfeit their hand. It would be poetic justice if this was the same hand that snatched away the purse - the one that, only moments before, raked its painted nails across its victims cheek.

Now that Ralph's assailants have pummelled him into the likeness of an elderly Chinese drag queen, who has just taken off their wig and removed their make-up, following a poorly-attended matinee burlesque show, would he even be welcomed into Collett's ethnostate?

Will US border authorities recognise Ralph as an American, or will he be forced to carve out an unsavoury living among his own kind, in the sordid ladyboy district of Beijing?

Overlooking Ralph's botched facelift, what irreparable internal damage has he inflicted upon himself by attempting to run?

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

It was only a matter of time before Gunt got his shit kicked in by somebody.

 

[Tommy's Mom]

It's important to remember that this is just what his FACE looks like. His gunt must have taken quite a bit of sustained kicking once he was on the ground (which was instantly).

 

[timewave0]

This is close to being the funniest possible outcome. Pure poetic justice. Best part is imagining how exactly the scenario unfolded. Did he try to solicit coke/hookers from some shady Portuguese hoodlums? Did his offensively retarded demeanor get him into trouble at a bar? Or was he jumped while stumbling down the street?

It takes a complete lack of awareness (both of self and environment) to think that a fat American asking for coke & whores in Lisbon would go over well.

 

[AnOminous]

Surely the thief should, at the very least, forfeit their hand.

Unless it's Ethan Ralph, then they should be given a medal.

 

[AltisticRight]

A month in 2022 and we already have our LOLcow moment of the year. It’s all downhill from here friends.

A downhill is how Ralph managed to tumble his way to the feet of a Gypsy gang.

 

[UnregisteredHypercam2]

Joshie knows the score.

Because it was all planned by him. Josh has secretly lived in Portugal this whole time, remember all that time he spent in the Philippines? Hes clearly got Filipino connections, plus Portugal and the Philippines are right next to each other. He could have easily slipped over done the deed personally.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

So how hard is it to get a copy of a police report in Portugal?

 

[KittyLoaf]

Has Meigh said anything about this?

Edit: radio silence on her Twitter. Not even a like.

 

[Ghostface Killer]

Has Meigh said anything about this?

She probably wished he didnt make it out alive from the altercation lol

 

[Disheveled Human]

@Sam Losco Can you unban the gunt guard so he can explain how we are all being nitpicky about Ralph enjoying Portugal and what it has to offer?

 

[Sam Losco]

@Sam Losco Can you unban the gunt guard so he can explain how we are all being nitpicky about Ralph enjoying Portugal and what it has to offer?

I'm not sure who you are talking about, but I can't unban people and only two people are thread banned. One of which has already been using a sock to post here (Bryan Dunn).

 

[Realistic Elephant]

Now the counterfeit man purse can be sold on to another idiot.

Oh fuck me, it's like Lemarchand's Box...

 

[(((Obar Lazcano Kamz)))]

So did Lardass lose some teeth?

looks like at the very worst two orbital fractures and maybe a broken jaw. most likely just two black eyes and some bruises.

 

[AnOminous]

@Sam Losco Can you unban the gunt guard so he can explain how we are all being nitpicky about Ralph enjoying Portugal and what it has to offer?

Surely they can explain to us how he is being truly alpha and we're just super jelly of his success.

looks like at the very worst two orbital fractures and maybe a broken jaw. most likely just two black eyes and some bruises.

He probably gave up his manpurse before they hurt him too much.

 

[AltisticRight]

Ralph, you're visiting Portugal not China, don't need to turn yourself into a panda.