Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 393 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,660
Considering how long they kept her for, $60/mo membership on top of the price of the product ain't worth it. Also, sponsoring YouTubers/influencers/podcasters is a major red flag in my book.
True, but I will also admit that if their fabric is strong enough to hold Tess' girth, they've already done better than Tula as far as "Hey, our product works!" goes.
Oh these behind the scenes shots from the makeup artist are glorious.
So Tess' valentines shoot, yeah? I looked at all the people tagged and the hair stylist has no mention of her whatsoever.
1645311027483.png
But here are the photos from the photographer's page:
1645311155499.png
The makeup artist (Alyssa):
1645311204963.png
And the stylist I'm showing in-context because the contrast is funny to me:
1645311275586.png
 

I love this dude. Could have done without the coof sperging but he wasn't exactly wrong about that either. Him saying he would absolutely help her lose weight...my God, would I love to see that. But he's right, she'll never do it.

I'd never actually watched one of Tess' videos before. She is so full of shit I'm amazed it doesn't ooze out of her eyes. "I'm not the problem, YOU are! YOU'RE mentally ill! YOU hate yourself!" Project harder, bitch.

Her calling everyone else "mentally ill" because we dont praise her body is hilarious. Guess who gets sent to mandatory therapy Tess? Every single fucking deathfat that Dr Now sees. Thats because you have to be mentally ill to eat so much for decades, to the point of disability and death.

Unfortunately, its not just her fat that makes her unlikeable. Its her personality, the trashy way she loudly presents herself , the child neglect, the teenage narc personality, the virtue signalling and so many more things to dislike about her.

If she is truly so confident and happy being fat, then why does what a random stranger says bother her?

Oh wow, skincare promos. After all, who has more skin than Tess.

Do the skincare product for the body come with the 3 foot stick she needs to reach parts of the body ( that she hasnt been able to reach in decades) to apply it?

Eta: fuck, didnt mean to reply twice in succession. Thought i was still working on one post. I am an idiot and i will not have a meltdown and make a tictok video about it if you deem me as as idiot for doing so.

See how that works Tess? I did some that is frowned upon and i apologized and took accountability for my assholery and life goes on.
 
So I know I’m a little late on this one, but I’m slowly catching up on my deathfats and now that I’m pretty much up to date with Tess I feel like I can say this hasn’t come up in the meantime.

I think that scorpion tattoo on her topgunt pissed off a lot of johns or maybe one really important one. She posted that video about “show me a tattoo someone told you not to get,” where she pulled out her belly and flipped off the camera, you know the one.

I think her john(s) told her not to get a tattoo on her belly, which is easily the most obvious draw for a fat fetishist. Forgive me, I forgot who did the work of digging up the comments, but fat fetishists have openly complained about her arm tattoos covering up those water wings, and they most certainly would dislike belly tattoos. Generally, guys who fetishize body parts don’t like tattoos on those body parts. It’s a distraction for them.

I feel like her narc injury spiral/arc spanned from well before she cleared her closet out, which was shortly before London, and then I think has somewhat lifted since doing the obvious feeder shit with Alyssa. She seems to be posting humiliating stuff lately, but it just doesn’t feel like quite the same performance we’ve seen in the past. The scorpion tattoo arrived April 13, before the end of her podcast, and before her travel spree, which seemed a bit frantic at the time, and I think looking back now it was the early stages of reacting to rejection, possibly even partially a search for new clients (las Vegas was early on her list).

In fellow farmer @Flawmil’s highlighted post (which you should revisit), Tess was “spiraling” about her body image” and telling her followers to “stop looking for a man to check those boxes” by April 24. I think repercussions came fast. I think her Jeep was an early termination “gift.”
 
The Barbed Wire behind the scene shots are simply glorious. A glorious train wreck. I believe even the Anti-Pittbull-Brigade from the Pitbull Megathread would feel bad for that poor dog.

But Tess looks so glorious in her role as fifty year old trailer park mum, who clumsily does a sexy photoshoot in a desperate attempt to spice up her sexlife.

A true supermodel.
 
The Barbed Wire behind the scene shots are simply glorious. A glorious train wreck. I believe even the Anti-Pittbull-Brigade from the Pitbull Megathread would feel bad for that poor dog.

But Tess looks so glorious in her role as fifty year old trailer park mum, who clumsily does a sexy photoshoot in a desperate attempt to spice up her sexlife.

A true supermodel.
What made me laugh is that’s a pretty beefy and muscled pit bull and she still made it look like a small dog in comparison.

The baddie with a pit bull look doesn’t work if the baddie could sit on the pit bull and kill it.
 
View attachment 2999816
Jesus fuck. She looks like she just came to after a week-long bender and has no idea where she is or where that dog came from.
Never mind her facial expression, what is more funny is the fact hat there is a decidedly unsexy and mundane Toyota in the background of this super sexy plether photoshoot. It looks so out of place and ruins the shot.
 
Back