You don't need to come out as a TERF, same way as trannies don't 'need' to come out as trannies. It's tempting to pushback, but if it'll cause more trouble than it's worth, just find ways to be quiet/ignore it when the topic turns to trans-rights. In another thread, someone mentioned a good strategy is to comment/interact with other tenants and ideas that you and your friends agree on, but always be busy or somehow miss the ones that talk about trans stuff. (Algorithms are terrible at showing all your friends posts, no matter what platform, after all) That way you still are involved with your friends without having to budge or cause drama on the trans issue.
I had some online trans friends for a few years there, and they were the ones who actually had a gender dysphoria diagnosis, but within the last year or two they slowly leaned into the fringe elements and added people to the group who subscribed to the batshit crazy school of troons. People who legit considered basic cognitive behavioral therapy to be gatekeeping and conversion therapy. They posted the most cringe shit and the majority of them were neets, like these motherfuckers could not be more stereotypical reddit jannies if they tried.
I had more patience with them than I should have, in retrospect. I like to think that if people can change for the worse they can change for the better too. I was very polite, didn't interact much outside what I needed to with the majority, and most of them seemed to assume this was just shyness on my part and not by design. I used their she/he bullshit, and told myself that most of these were young people going through a phase and that I should allow them to fuck up while getting a free freak show.
Several months ago I broke the cardinal rule by refusing to use neo pronouns. Apparently this was the same as murdering millions of black trans baby bodies and they quickly disowned me, and this after the fact that I did a lot for this group of people. To the point that now one of my favorite things is the monthly updates I still get from a member who shows me what a shitshow its devolved into.
So OP, it does not matter if its a small transgression or if your position in the hierarchy is relatively high; one false move and you're considered an active threat. Same as JKR and same as Dave Chappelle, disagree on one issue and most would sooner consider you a bad element than to reconsider their own position. For your own sake evaluate the benefits and costs of those relationships, as you might be better off making a clean break or at least distancing yourself from the madness.
Apologies if this comes across as some bragging bullshit, but I've successfully redpilled multiple people, and I hope I can help by giving you an example.
I had a friend who was new to me years ago, and he would occasionally parrot some stupid left-wing bullshit about black people and white people, though I can't remember what specifically; just generic regurgitated nonsense. As soon as he said something that was a more closely related topic, I very quickly brought up the subject (mostly ignored by the west, because of course) of the white genocide in African countries by talking about it like it was any other current news topic. "Oh, haven't you heard what's going on?" I gradually went into more detail and showed him sources throughout the conversation while he became visibly sickened by the atrocities as well as obviously ashamed of the woke shit he'd said previously. There was hope for him. I explained that the African nations who'd done these same things previously were all starving to death because only the white people were putting in the work to farm. I eventually branched it into explaining to him and showing him evidence that nogs are nogs no matter where they are in the world, without phrasing it like that, of course.
One evening, the topic of race came up again and I decided it was time to show my hand. I told him that he might get offended or think ill of me just for showing him what I was about to pull up on my computer. It was a world map with each country color-coded by average IQ, and he was stunned, staring at it and being the one to point out the obvious after a tense and uncomfortable silence. He took it well, so I showed him some race-based IQ charts. He took that well too, so I showed him racial crime stats and family composition stats by race. He expressed that he felt guilt for suddenly understanding so many things about what he's experienced, seen and heard over his life.
If he had disagreed with me while still valuing me as a person, I would have been both disappointed and relieved. We'd have continued hanging out, but knowing not to bring the topic of race up around each other. Well, at least I would have known.
My advice is that if you think any of your friends are worth salvaging, that you should bring up related stories and points to contradict them (or even possibly agree with them in a way) 'gently' as opportunities arise. Please don't lie about what you know and believe just to placate them, as you'd not only be making yourself into part of the problem society has with troonery being perpetuated and tolerated, but you'd quite simply be a liar.
Ease into the subject where, when and how you can. I'm unsure as to how you'd be able to go about doing this in your situation, as groups of people complicate things, especially when hivemind behavior is a variable. If you try to talk to them one-on-one, you run the very high risk of offending one, who will go to the rest of the group to get you exiled and demonized before you get the opportunity to begin, much less make progress with any of the others. If you try it among the entire group, then each of them is very likely to do the typical SJW thing and try to come across as the most offended in order to make themselves look like the most devout little cultist in front of their peers. But the thing is, bringing it up in front of the group could possibly lead to one or more of them coming to you in secret to talk about things away from the group in order to seek out someone to confide their doubts and bad bad curiosities in. I suppose that could happen with one-on-one attempts going bad at first, but I'd put my money on the whole group at once just because the individual(s) who turn on you have the opportunity to lie about what you said, the context in which you said it and how you said it.
If they really are your friends and not just cult members, they'll care about trying to understand your perspective rather than basing all of your value on how much you nod your head and play along. You're not exactly coming out as a pedophile, rapist or murderer, after all. Do they care about you, or are they narcissists who only care about whether or not you make them feel like superior beings? If they're just narcs who use you, you wouldn't be losing anything positive in your life by shedding their presence, and I'm asking you to do right by yourself by seeking out meaningful connections with those who would value you as a person.
If that group is the majority, or worse, the entirety of your social connections, then I understand that you must feel terrified about this. I've been there too, and leaving the situation I was in with them was one of the roughest, if not the roughest patch in my life due to all of the complications and incidences surrounding it. I hope very much for your sake that your housing, job, transportation or anything else important isn't tied up with them.
I sincerely hope you can get through this process as painlessly and as productively as possible. Carpe diem, fren.
Don’t.
Most people don’t want to challenge the mainstream view on trans people and enjoy the social points being woke gives them. You’re just going to give yourself a hard time.
Let me go.
We need to replace "Transphobe" with a new term. I suggest "Biological Realist". We shouldn't be using their word, which is disparaging and meant to paint people in a negative light. We need to use a term that demonstrates what we are, we believe in the biological reality that women have two X chromosomes, and men have an X and a Y chromosome, with everyone else going into the non-binary "medical disorder" category.
I know it's easy to think most trans people are psychotic troons thanks to a very loud minority on twatter, but most trans people are dull and boring as all hell like any other person.
There's a good chunk of my crew at work that is trans at work and except for one (who is ostricized by the other trans people for good reason), none have any of the signs of internet brain rot. A lot of smart, hard working kids and most of them hate this weird ass time we're in since they just want to be left alone and not be used for politics which is fair enough.
In my experience, most people will say "the right thing" but won't actually do anything about it in a way that impacts me. I have a number of beloved friends and family who will periodically drop a tweet or something about the evils of transphobia but they sure don't have any troon friends. They're just talking and I can deal with that.
I do periodically encounter one FtM but she's a pleasant enough "fellow", just sort of a lesbian on steroids (which I guess she is!)
I did have some online pals for a while that within the circle included various and sundry gender weirdos but they pretty much all flipped out at everyone for no real reason, just blaming various people for any number of societal woes and I think that probably peaked a lot of people but it also was enough for me to disentangle myself from that circle entirely just in case.
In short, basing your identity around trannies is gay and retarded whether you're pro or con.
That's not what I'm talking about. There's was like a straight up ana-chan nun that's been brought up in the FitVeganGinger thread a bunch since Anna is more or less her modern reincarnation
Bring up the topic of young children being medically transitioned. Even people who buy in to the agenda will have some visceral reaction to this. I do not recommend starting with how the trans agenda hurts women and girls. It just doesn't get the same reaction. I've only had these conversations with people I felt comfortable enough to debate with.
Do they make gun holsters with what appear to be bra straps? We're getting to the point where flashing a strap is a "Get Out Of Liberal Jail Free" card, but if I have to wear something under my shirt I'd like it to have a better primary functional use.
Honestly you should just say something because it only really matters if your friends care whether or not you're a biological realist.... like I'm friends with people who are not and they know my beliefs and I know theirs but we're adults and we have other things that we like in common and rip on one another playfully for our differences.
Ok my two best friends know. One has a TIF family member, respects pronouns but disagrees with the majority of trans ideology. A lady at a shop we visit has been telling us stories of gender nonsense for a good few years which I guess helped. God knows how many she’s peaked but good for her.
The other is a cross-dressing mildly dysphoric male who disagrees with me on points but also agrees that a lot of it is batshit lunacy. I like talking to him about it as he challenges my thinking.
A third friend (not a close one) is very much trans women are women and might not be talking to me anymore. Win some, lose some.
I’m not even transphobic. You just can’t change sex. That’s all. I was all you do you until they started raging on about genocide and accepting girldick and that’s not happening.
Next time there’s a trans person in the news mention it, ask your friend how they feel and go from there.
Addition: we’re left leaning Britbongs so not exactly wokies or anything.
If I have to work with these kinds of people I just straight up tell them that the trans topic makes me uncomfortable. I'm excited to contribute to case law if I ever get fired for not saying TWAW in a work setting. When they ask me if I'd like to work through something I say no and when they share an article to help me educate myself I say thank you, I've already read that and it has not changed my mind. I'm not going to change their minds so I'm not going to try because I'd be arguing on my back heel. But I do like letting them know that I understand the same things they do and yet still hold my opinions.
If I have to be friends with these people I don't have to be friends with these people.
Okay I have one friend who I was straight up with and we ended up not talking for months. I'm just not going to play the self-flagellation game on any topic. So now he treats me like the weird conservative relative that he treads lightly on political issues with. Good. Every once in awhile he complains about his other friends being too over the top and I think it's funny that he vents that at me. Deep down he knows I'm sane.
my social group is primarily liberal and left of center but discussions of trannies literally never come up. Maybe it's because I live in the midwest, but I've never actually formally met a single tranny. Vast majority I've even seen are black tranny crackwhores walking the street in the ghetto. I probably would never go hard with anti-trans rhetoric unless someone I knew tried to come out as trans. Even one of my more far leftist friends ackowledged that trannies are weird but he's not against them as he thinks they are taking themselves out of the gene pool which he thinks is a good thing. I'm also a millenial and not a zoomer, I genuinely feel bad if people have trans people in their friend group or they have to interact with them on any kind of a regular basis, it just sounds so hellish and dystopian
Just stop caring. You won’t be happy if you censor yourself. Get friends that don’t give a shit what you say. Me and some guys call each other faggots all the time.
Ok, from the BTDT Files, here's my take on getting your friends to see the light ~
Does this "friend group" provide you somehow with the basics of life (housing, work, financial support)? Hopefully you are independent of them for all of that. If not, now's a good time to start building a new life for yourself in that department. Get that all nailed down first.
Sit down and think of things that have always interested YOU, and go pursue one or two of them. Make some new friends in those worlds. In other words, don't put all your "friendship" eggs in this one basket - diversify!
Then....give yourself permission to drop some verbal bombs. Like, "I don't know about giving kids hormones before age 18 - it seems medically dangerous", "Chicks really don't have dicks", "Alok Venon looks like a hairy ball of rancid shit in that dress, and that lipstick is a fucking joke - stunning and brave my ass", "I got nothing against them, but I don't want to date one, and I'd certainly never sleep with one", or whatever else feels right.
There will be pearls clutched, and sphincters will tighten. Audible gasps may be emitted. Don't back down. Calmly repeat what you said. A couple friends *may* agree with you.
Mantras against your heresy may be uttered as protective spells by the true believers - "TWAW/TMAM" or "Donald Duck says trans rights!" Some of the ones who you considered your favorite people will turn their backs on you. Expect the major REEEEing to last about 72 hours. Turn off your social media, go "touch grass", and let them spaz out until they are exhausted. Eventually, the Flying Monkeys will tire themselves out and move on.
There may be a few or more who quietly seek you out afterwards, because they've been feeling the same way but were afraid to say anything. If you have any real friends in that group, even if they disagree with you completely, this is when they will come talk to you. *Maybe* you can tell them what you've seen here, but don't expect all of them to be convinced. That's ok. It's more important that they are sticking with you. Friends don't have to agree with each other all the time - they just have to NOT stab you in the back.
But the rest of them in your old coven? Fuggedaboutit. They'd rather deep throat the ladydique and beg for more.
Even if they don't, you have those other friends to hang out with who share your interests. You'll miss them. They'll trash you. Count on it.
Don't look back. Go enjoy your life. You can't save everyone. Save yourself, and maybe the few who will listen to reason. And best of luck to you.
I simply speak of transgenderism as a mental illness in a matter-of-fact kind of way, as if it's settled science (because it IS).
Also, where I work, we have "All Gender" bathrooms. I call them "Transgender Bathrooms" in a tone of voice that suggests that I truly believe that's what they're supposed to be called. I love watching people squirm in discomfort at this.
When I hear heterosexuals refer to their wives/husbands/boyfriends/girlfriends as their "partner", I repeat back to them: "Oh, you mean your wife?" or something similar, pretending to be confused. I love making them explain to me this sillyness, and can see on their faces that they feel stupid about it.
