Coming Out to Friends as a Transphobe

[It's Over Anakin]

When my sister comes home from university, she's fresh from the brainwashing that goes on there and everyone has to tread on eggshells when she's back or you'll get the autistic screeching. After a little while though, she starts to relax and even starts making some super edgy jokes herself when she realises she isn't in the friend group that is indoctrinating her at that moment. Obviously, as soon as she goes back it begins anew, but it's all artificial.

 

[derpi]

>befriending handmaidens
Not even once.

 

[ten dollars off]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. Even those that roasted me, ha.

On a related note, does anyone else also find themselves questioning whether some women are trannies now, way more than a decade previous? Used to be you could admire an actress or female musician who had a bit of a strong jawline or an androgynous look. But now I find myself Googling to find out if I'm going to see a tranny at a concert or in a movie.

I'm also extremely skeptical when I see a "woman" pop up in a group usually filled with nerdy men. I remember scrolling through a retro video game group on Facebook and all the female names had ugly middle aged dudes in wigs and lipstick.

 

[Space_Dandy]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. Even those that roasted me, ha.

On a related note, does anyone else also find themselves questioning whether some women are trannies now, way more than a decade previous? Used to be you could admire an actress or female musician who had a bit of a strong jawline or an androgynous look. But now I find myself Googling to find out if I'm going to see a tranny at a concert or in a movie.

I'm also extremely skeptical when I see a "woman" pop up in a group usually filled with nerdy men. I remember scrolling through a retro video game group on Facebook and all the female names had ugly middle aged dudes in wigs and lipstick.

Yes, I feel this exact way. I wonder the same thing when it comes to androgynous looking dudes who used to be chicks.

Btw, have you seen this? It's really the ultimate truth bomb.

But as to your question, it can be really hard when people you care about are indoctrinated into the woke movement. If you want to talk about it with them, you can start by establishing that its important to disagree respectfully with people you care about and that you will do it if they will. Also that you may believe certain people are delusional and dysfunctional, but without necessarily hating them or wanting any of their legal rights taken away.

My stance on transsexuals, especially adolescent ones:

I don't hate transsexuals, but I dislike the mainstream narrative likening them to oppressed minorities.

There is nothing biological about gender dysphoria, it's not something you're born with. At the same time, it's not necessarily a choice either. After all, gender is largely a social construction. Our environment, experiences, and the people we surround ourselves with influence our feelings. We begin to manifest real feelings about sexuality and gender identity that stem from those experiences.

Children, teenagers in particular, are highly susceptible to 'listening to their heart' and latching on to whatever they feel to assign themselves a new identity. The obvious example is transgenderism, but it can extend in more subtle ways too.

The Bible has some insightful verses about this:

Proverbs 28:26
Whoever trusts his own heart is a fool. Whoever walks in wisdom will survive.

Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

It takes maturity and experience to examine yourself, question rather what you are feeling is worthwhile or not. Teenagers simply aren't equipped to tell and any adult who takes them that seriously at their word, allowing them to make irreversible life choices at such a young age, are enabling their own demise.

After all, development of the rational part of the brain (prefrontal cortex) isn't complete until about age 25.

Good luck.

 

[Netizennameless]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. Even those that roasted me, ha.

On a related note, does anyone else also find themselves questioning whether some women are trannies now, way more than a decade previous? Used to be you could admire an actress or female musician who had a bit of a strong jawline or an androgynous look. But now I find myself Googling to find out if I'm going to see a tranny at a concert or in a movie.

I feel bad for ugly women once bullying becomes fashionable again. "Nice try bro" is going to come up a lot.

I'm also extremely skeptical when I see a "woman" pop up in a group usually filled with nerdy men. I remember scrolling through a retro video game group on Facebook and all the female names had ugly middle aged dudes in wigs and lipstick.

If it seems like a sexist stereotype of a woman, it's probably a troon.

 

[Begemot]

Do you care if they think you're a transphobe? That's what matters mostly. I'm sure one of my circles thinks I'm some kind of horrendous transphobe like Rowling who wants to genocide any trans woman they see and can't hold back their spittle flecked rage at the idea of someone being trans just because I oppose the illogic and totalitarian nature of the cult as well as doing anything to children. Yet I'm actually to their "left" when it comes to adults as I don't really think there should be as much "gatekeeping" or requirements of dysphoria diagnosis or so on to play the system, if adults want to fuck up their genitals because they're nuts whatever man, do what you want. (Ideally, I'd like to not pay for it but that ship has seem to have sailed.) I just don't think it's "transphobic" (especially so broadly to encompass almost anything) to make fun of weirdos who say insane things and I don't think other people have a duty to affirm anyone's beliefs.

That's where the disagreement is, and I think even a place like the Kiwi Farms which is seen as riddled with transphobes gets agitated more at this kind of cultist mentality which says no trans person can ever be criticized in any way and definitely not be made fun of for being insane. If troons, and their braindead allies, didn't insist on demanding others constantly affirm them then a lot of people wouldn't give a shit. That was how the mainstream gay rights movement won everything, nobody else had to really do anything to accept them just had to stop denying equality, and now just a little over a decade later gay marriage has like supermajority support. I'm not talking about the extremists who think if you're not barebacking dudes in the street you're a sell out to queer culture, they fucking hate that the gay marriage movement succeeded. The troons seem closer to them, especially with their inability to stop being sex obsessed freaks, which they view as a replacement for having an individual personality.

Yeah, the main difference is there is this expectation that the gender binary is outdated but no one has has a public conversation about that change. It has just been enforced top-down by the elites. Usually, you got from motte to bailey, trans rights were almost all bailey, mask off,

 

[Begemot]

Do you care if they think you're a transphobe? That's what matters mostly. I'm sure one of my circles thinks I'm some kind of horrendous transphobe like Rowling who wants to genocide any trans woman they see and can't hold back their spittle flecked rage at the idea of someone being trans just because I oppose the illogic and totalitarian nature of the cult as well as doing anything to children. Yet I'm actually to their "left" when it comes to adults as I don't really think there should be as much "gatekeeping" or requirements of dysphoria diagnosis or so on to play the system, if adults want to fuck up their genitals because they're nuts whatever man, do what you want. (Ideally, I'd like to not pay for it but that ship has seem to have sailed.) I just don't think it's "transphobic" (especially so broadly to encompass almost anything) to make fun of weirdos who say insane things and I don't think other people have a duty to affirm anyone's beliefs.

That's where the disagreement is, and I think even a place like the Kiwi Farms which is seen as riddled with transphobes gets agitated more at this kind of cultist mentality which says no trans person can ever be criticized in any way and definitely not be made fun of for being insane. If troons, and their braindead allies, didn't insist on demanding others constantly affirm them then a lot of people wouldn't give a shit. That was how the mainstream gay rights movement won everything, nobody else had to really do anything to accept them just had to stop denying equality, and now just a little over a decade later gay marriage has like supermajority support. I'm not talking about the extremists who think if you're not barebacking dudes in the street you're a sell out to queer culture, they fucking hate that the gay marriage movement succeeded. The troons seem closer to them, especially with their inability to stop being sex obsessed freaks, which they view as a replacement for having an individual personality.

Yeah, the main difference is there is this expectation that the gender binary is outdated but no one has has a public conversation about that change. It has just been enforced top-down by the elites. Usually, you got from motte to bailey, trans rights were almost all bailey, mask off,

 

[Chris Redfield]

I think if you're charming enough / word things reasonably enough...you can kinda get away with anything?
I'm pretty lucky to have friends as bigoted as me, lmao, but recently in a new friend group while talking with another woman about our prejudices (she's black and bought up blm) I openly said I hate the trans movement. Got a couple gasps from a couple people but i laughed it off and joked enough that they haven't stopped talking to me and are still cool with me now. Also, the moment someone says anything about crazy people now or gender shit, I almost always bring up troons in sports or men thinking they have periods. I peaked my boss by telling her about women being called cervix havers.
Just know your shit, be passionate, but also be likable and affable - you can say all sorts of shit.

 

[Spangled Drongo]

Had a good chat with a classmate today, and he mentioned offhand that he believes the LGBTQIA+ stuff has gone too far, and that most self described non binaries are just people who might be a little quirky and are hopping on the gender bandwagon simply to win the approval of the mainstream. I was asked for my pronouns at work for the first time ever a few weeks ago too, mentioned it to him, and his response was "why even bother when most of the time you can just guess and you'll be correct?" (my answer was "I'm obviously female")

It was refreshing to see someone so based, especially a man - I know a TIM who claims to be non binary, goes by "they/them" and most of the men I was friends with have been going along with the whole thing. I thought they knew better as we all have a very un-PC sense of humour and they're all intelligent people with a capacity for critical thinking, but it seems they draw the line at "misgendering" this guy, who's literally just a tall lanky nerdy dude with neon dyed hair who paints his nails and wears a bit of bling. I don't even think he's on hormones - not that estrogen has much of a noticeable effect, most male troons still have to shave, speak with a falsetto and wear padded bras. Another based friend has spoken to them when the so called "queer trans femme enby" was out of earshot and asked them why, and apparently they do it simply to be kind and because times are changing, this stuff is becoming more and more common, why fight it?

So I'm glad to have another friend on my side - we also agree that PC culture has generally gone too far, like all these woke Disney remakes that are being released.

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

I'm also extremely skeptical when I see a "woman" pop up in a group usually filled with nerdy men. I remember scrolling through a retro video game group on Facebook and all the female names had ugly middle aged dudes in wigs and lipstick.

The analogue synth crew are like this.

 

[Punitive Castration]

I did this very gradually until a friend who I peaked blurted out something I taught her about transwomen (dilation) and that I was the one who taught it to her to a bunch of our friends over dinner. To my surprise the world didn't end. A few of them have become a lot more GC since that. I think a lot of them still hold the stance of "pronouns are respectful" but I raised "would you let someone you ordinarily would not date into your dating pool on the basis of so-called decency" and they saw my point.

So it's pretty much gotten to a point where they'll say "[x] is transphobic" and I go "nice" knowing it's not jeopardizing our friendship. it's been pretty wild considering just two years ago this would have been very serious. It helps that I'm now overly well read on this shit so stupid TRA logic that used to fuck me up doesn't anymore ("no trans women pass" "how do you know you've seen a passing transwomen" "durr") vs ("no trans women pass" "how do you know you've never seen one" "every tw who claims to pass on the internet does not and every tw who comes close to a visual pass doesn't do vocal training and the number of tw who bother with vocal training is so low that the odds of a passing tw doing vocal training is basically negligible" etc etc)

my only fear at this point is that I'll become as annoying as tras are on this, I need to learn when I've won and how to let it go. If someone is stupid enough to say Rowling is a facist around me I don't mind engaging but I don't need to make a comment every time. I think it's just the newfound freedom of being able to say all the things irl that I've been saying on the internet for years.

 

[FeatherPlucker]

I avoid the topic, although it seems those around me aren't buying the gender kool-aid, my place of employment has. The only one I've really came out to as a TERF is my ex, who (ironically) was the first one to warn ME about this development long before it happened. The conservative news outlets and talking heads that I hated for so long were right about this topic. The fact Ex and I are on the same page is actually a good thing, since we share offspring. Personally, I'd only "come out" about this topic when it really matters-- because the risk of being fired or cancelled for it is all too real.

The worst thing about this for me personally, is that despite my technically being bisexual, I've actually become MORE of a homophobe due to this gender shit and rainbow pushing. Whereas I used to see, for example, gay men as benign-- I am now very wary of them. They themselves have become pushier, more elitist, and like to waive their oppression around to push women into silence.

Example, a recent newspaper article lauding a rich gay couple as the "ideal" on Father's Day. The replies to the article included a woman who was like "what does this have to do with being gay?", and some gay man replied "why does your opinion matter"? Cue in a ton of gay dudes shitting on this woman, shitting on another woman who questioned why the rainbow shit was being pushed everywhere, they were telling her that her husband was probably a closet queen, etc. Meanwhile, there was no mention of the surrogates or mothers of these children in the article. It's as if gay men see no problems with paying a poor desperate woman to have their designer babies, or feel no regrets pulling a child away from a poor desperate woman in an adoption. They see themselves as sooooo oppressed while every major corporation and in-power political party is shilling for them. So many of them are clearly upper class, have higher incomes than most women, have an easier life than most women, but they are soooo oppressed. Single mothers get shit on non-stop, especially if they have any boyfriends, but gay men with their gay orgies and revolving door of boyfriends are lauded as "super parents!"

Women are roasted in the media, including attractive and talented ones-- they're roasted by women, men, and misogynists... but gay men are lauded as "the hottest! most talented!" and NO roasting is allowed. Social media shuts down any criticism of gay men, but the repulsive garbage that is routinely hurled at women remains.

Don't even get me started about that ugly fat drag queens going to public libraries thing. I can't even go there.

The gender kool aid shit and the acronym activism keeps reminding me that Pride and all the rainbow pushing is just a rich gay man's movement, a tranny movement, a kinkster movement, and they don't care if women disappear. Women are their "enemies" and their "competition". Their embrace of many of the tenets of transhumanism make me even more convinced that this movement would not shed a single tear if women were completely replaced with artificial wombs, transwomen and sex robots. They see women as "old technology" that needs to be replaced. Look up the gay rich boys like Yuval Harari who promote this ideology, and also support "gender fluidity". They don't give a shit about women.

This crazy shit literally keeps me awake, gives me chest pain... it sounds crazy, I know, but it's like psychological warfare to me. There's been a nonstop attack on women by the "left" on social media since about July 2020 where I live, and it's leeched into legislation, elections, law, children's school systems-- we already had it happening on the right for years.

 

[Ham-Ham & Eggs]

Just had to begin slowly phasing out of one small friend group myself. Their troon cocksucking has been progressively getting less tolerable and I already know challenging their views, even in a civil manner, would result in me getting immediately exiled. Weening off from them over time makes the heartbreak more bearable (sounds gay I know but I've been with them since middle school).

One person in particular has been juggling pronouns under the non-binary label. This started after they got some autistic obsession over a children's cartoon and projected themselves onto a couple characters of the opposite sex. Really weird, though this seems to be a very common trend with troubled individuals. They slap sexuality "headcanons" onto these characters as well as making one intersex too. It all amounts to a very disturbed environment and it leaks into every conversation, especially when the only other person supports it.

Also the non-biney is in their mid 20's. Sad. If they ever snap out of it I'd be fairly surprised, though at that age range it's hard telling.

Thankfully another old friend group I'm in doesn't subscribe to this uwu special gender bullshit and we all have reasonable discussions about it (which rarely occur to begin with). Always a breath of fresh air.

 

[Cool Dude 69]

I dont know enough Trans people in real life to have too much of an opinion on the matter. The only info I do get is from Professional Opinion Havers, which isn't my favorite demographic to get opinions from.

Until I have enough of my own experience with Trans people, and due to my nature as a Friendly and Nice person, I'll use the pronouns and shit if they're offered.

I also think that if it is trendy, opposing attitudes have done a lot to help that trendyness

 

[frippery]

All the ftm people I know (about a dozen) had a brief social media share-all explosion that lasted under a year and now just live their lives normally. The mtf ones tho (also about a dozen)... holy shit. They never shut up about how femme they are and how cuuuute this dress is etc. The only reason I know so many is due to working in a public service sector and the sheer population size just spits out that ratio. I will add that the younger zoomer ones do not use public-facing social media as much as the millennials.

I draw the line at neopronouns, like this person in a writing group who insisted he was a plural system and used the we voice. Him plus the 50+ enby woman who never stopped talking about it was so goddamn retarded I had to leave the group. I learned later that all the cis folks did as well, which made me feel kinda bad for the founder as she'd built up this really good group over years only to go overboard with her message of inclusivity and have it infiltrated and destroyed by the weirdos. You reap what you sow I guess. The people who left talk to me and we've had some great honest convos about the sheer state of things so things worked out in some ways.

 

[Sun Sucker]

Complete newfag here, lurked for a couple years. Kiwifarms was perhaps the first place that helped pull me out of my "trans women are women" retardation phase, and made me realize one of the two TiMs I knew personally was a potentially violent AGP. The other one was also suspect in a lot of ways, but in practice, he was basically a feminine gay man and nowhere near as horrible as the actual AGP. I'd like to contribute with a summary of what I experienced in the group chat I shared with the AGP and potentially peaked an individual who were in contact with them.

Spoiler: PLing a bit

The AGP was a "polyamarous-pansexual" 30 something year old man who started HRT at 28. Let's call him John. I got to know John through a couple of friends that I did online tabletop gaming and storywriting with around 5 years ago. He had been friends with these people for about 10 years and was married to a non-binary identified, but completely feminine presenting woman. We (John and the couple friends I was much closer with) communicated through online group and private chat. The group chat was an utter hugbox concerning anything that had to do with his transition, the general far-left politics of everyone there aside. I myself unfortunately also took part in this. Being ignorant of trans-related topics, coming from a very conservative area but being a shitlib at the time, and my connection with these people being mostly online helped a great deal with that.

I believed him when he said his height went from 5'11 to 5'6. I believed him when he said he did have periods and just didn't "bleed". I ignored him when he started talking about "not being able to get out of subspace" in response to a picture I posted of myself to general chat. I said I understood when he came to me privately and started talking about how he wanted to fuck other people because his spouse didn't have the same drive as him. I sent "LOL " when he texted me he was reading lesbian vampire porn at work. I read his "coming out" notice for his coworkers. We all coddled and encouraged him as much as we could, believing he was suffering enough already, being a transwoman who started her transition too late to pass completely. At least that's what I thought at the time.

Fast forward three and a half years where I am no longer a shitbrained useful idiot and don't talk to these people even a quarter of the amount I used to. I reconnect with another individual, an older dude with moderate views, who left the group chat almost two years earlier than I did, seeing where they were going with the far left politics. We talk and John comes up, the dude also having known John for multiple years, and still being in contact with individuals from the chat IRL. I ask how he's doing only to learn he was asked to leave the friend group after leaving his spouse and trying to take her car to fuck a dude that lived hundreds of miles away. He tried to take everything they shared and start a new life for himself, having one night stands because he never had his "slut phase" (as all true and honest women do). I also learn that he quit his very well-paying engineering job for a supervisor position in Starbucks because he wanted to be around inclusive people. He spent the last year at his old workplace making several women very uncomfortable by asking them for tampons when he was on his "period".

Now I had already practically left the friend group when I learned of all of this stuff but the older dude I talked to used to believe John was just a mentally unhealthy transwoman. After sharing the experiences I myself had with John, and talking about the information I learned from here, (especially explaining the Jessica Yaniv case and how John's obsession with tampons resembled his), he slowly came to the realization that John was just a man who transitioned for "all the wrong reasons". You find someone who is not completely brainwashed and give them only the bits that matter first. I could have talked about how much John had made me, a biological woman, uncomfortable as fuck in general first. I didn't. I saved that shit for the end of the conversation. The guy still uses she/her for John but is now aware of the fact that John never was and never will be a woman.

Might be a bit of a mess to read but I hope this helps someone talk about this topic more openly. At least with people who have moderate views.

Edit: Spelling
EditEdit: Added info

 

[ATI Escapee]

Is anyone familiar with the Rat Utopia experiments? I thoroughly believe we are collectively suffering the same collective societal mental breakdown. Rate me dumb or whatever but I am not a transphobe, and will totally respect pronouns if that comes around. In my real life, the issue is so incredibly rare I have a hard time understanding why everyone even needs an opinion on it. But that is my experience in a very rural conservative area with no kids who play sports debating to let trans children on etc.

I do however believe a large chunk of the stuff we see today is a product of mental illness. I do believe mentally ill people deserve respect- they are usually trying to fight the good fight unless otherwise proven. I believe the trans movement is dividing gender stereotypes further, which is unfortunate. If you put on a dress you are a woman no matter what, end of story. Would it not be most inclusive to just say anyone can wear a dress?

A small tinfoil here too.... I am sure a portion of the HAES has been Russian or other propaganda that was an easy idea for Americans to latch onto and spread for themselves, crippling societal health and costing the govt billions in medicare, ss, and other bs further weakening the USA. I kinda also think propaganda online for trans stuff flooded in over the years and it hits home for many....and influences many others. By doing that we have infighting and further divided citizens...and somehow even more hard lined gender categories? Idk man.

When I was a kid I thought I wanted to be a boy because I hated most girly things and wanted to play in the mud... or just be treated the same as my brother. Wear pants to church instead of dress, outside chores instead of kitchen duty, etc. If I were younger and the internet got me at that time I do think I would believe I was trans, and not realize I was just being treated unequally by society (mainly my own fundie family) and I just wanted to be treated the 'other' way not grow a literal dick.

Anytime a young person is trans I cannot help but wonder if they just wanted to be treated different by society and the internet convinced them the only way to demand respect is to look a certain way.

All in all, not phobic, but more critical than acceptable. Still do my best to respect all, and gtfo if someone doesnt deserve even that.

 

[LiquidKid]

Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. Even those that roasted me, ha.

On a related note, does anyone else also find themselves questioning whether some women are trannies now, way more than a decade previous? Used to be you could admire an actress or female musician who had a bit of a strong jawline or an androgynous look. But now I find myself Googling to find out if I'm going to see a tranny at a concert or in a movie.

I'm also extremely skeptical when I see a "woman" pop up in a group usually filled with nerdy men. I remember scrolling through a retro video game group on Facebook and all the female names had ugly middle aged dudes in wigs and lipstick.

Never once have I seen a tranny that made me do a double take.
The rise of trannies has only made me question if any ugly woman is actually a man. And believe me, I feel horrible when I find out it’s a woman, but I’m usually pretty solid at telling it’s a man.

As for your original topic though, I’m from Southern California, trannies are common here and unfortunately you cannot avoid them and cannot speak against them if you want to be able to function in society.
However, I have managed to get away with saying quite a lot by simply stating “I’m politically neutral” and “I hate all sides,”
This is false, but it has allowed me to more or less say whatever I want so long as I remember to attack the right wing in something low hanging every now and then

 

[Basil Julep]

A small tinfoil here too.... I am sure a portion of the HAES has been Russian or other propaganda that was an easy idea for Americans to latch onto and spread for themselves, crippling societal health and costing the govt billions in medicare, ss, and other bs further weakening the USA.

Hold up. Fatties justifying fatness is Russian propaganda now?

 

[Stoneheart]

this is horrible. yeah MtF are all groomer, but just think about all the FtM out there.
they are perfect target to bully, soyfaced manlets that overreact to be called by a girls name.