Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Bad Take Crucifier]

Right under your post there's this little gem.

So @Bad Take Crucifier, don't bollocks me when you and I both know that this thread isn't just stories about people having issues with someone who so happened to be trans.

Proves nothing though. You're pretty retarded if you're going to equate one person talking shit to all the actual stories people have told in the thread.

 

[Florence]

That leap of logic where you equate neo-Nazis with transsexuals astounds me but whatever, do what you want to do!

I think you might be on the wrong website, pal.

 

[Lord Edge of Leetworth]

Proves nothing though. You're pretty retarded if you're going to equate one person talking shit to all the actual stories people have told in the thread.

It's an example, not an equation. Nobody is going to waste their time weighting all of this thread's stories against its extremist remarks.

I think you might be on the wrong website, pal.

You're absolutely correct. Sorry for bothering everyone. I'm off.

 

[Vingle]

this thread's stories against its extremist remarks.

Honey, they're not extremist just because you said so.

 

[Aunt Carol]

confiscate all her electronics, cut her off from all internet access, pray that this will ground her in reality again

This is how you end up with an emotionally unstable young woman on an Amtrak to a troon squat house in Portland, crowdfunding and dramaposting all the way about her abusive family.

It's a weird situation, having a dependent adult child (with no diagnosed disability or anything) living in the house. Thankfully not my situation, but I have a lot of coworkers who are in this boat with their kids. You've got someone who's a legal adult, but they're devolving into their childhood role. Obviously not talking about an adult kid who lives with their parents while they work and save and contribute to the household.

@Bob jensen --I still don't recommend that you throw your daughter out, but you should look up what the eviction process entails in your jurisdiction, so you're aware. An emotional fight that ends in being "kicked out" is not productive. If part of the deal you make is "X long to find a job, fail to do that and you agree go to Y program/apply to Z slam-dunk but low-desirability job," then having the paperwork ready to start the 60-day (etc) eviction process is part of being calm and methodical about it.

If she really believes she has a disability, she should be applying for gibs. I am going to guess she will not because she knows she doesn't; claiming to be "disabled" is part of how she sustains her self-pity and fits in with the extremely-online crowd she's in with.

Feeling like a lost generation, here: born too late to expect a husband to support me; born too early to expect my parents to support me forever, too astigmatic to get groomed on VRChat.

 

[gang weeder]

That leap of logic where you equate neo-Nazis with transsexuals astounds me but whatever, do what you want to do!

So you are agreeing that if someone were to become a neo-Nazi, it would be understandable to disassociate from them?

I’d go to the meet up. Trans people are interesting variations on the normal and it’s morbidly fun to try and figure out the whys.

I’d go meet the neoNazi friend too for the exact same reasons.

There is nothing "fun" about transgenderism to me. It's one of the most black pilled things in existence to me. I get that for some people they don't mind hanging out with trannies. You do you. For me I really would rather not.

Why question this? Just don't go. This shit is continuing because people are too afraid to say that this shit isn't acceptable. What you are feeling on right now is the herd instinct.

You don't even need to say anything why you didn't go, just treat it like the person is dead.

Oh that's what I'll do if I skip, just say something else came up. I would still like to see all of the other people involved, and it would be a shame to miss out on that because of one mentally ill person. But that very well may be how it turns out. Ever since COVID I've definitely had to get used to the idea of just not associating with liberals.

 

[Michael Jacks0n]

Just found an old acquaintance's Twitter account, full of the classic whining about JK Rowling and Terfs, they don't seem to be doing as well as they used to. They've also got a weird Garfield obsession going on. Man I wonder what happened to that guy

Do they by any chance have a big beard and eyebrows? Just asking.

 

[Mrs. Addams]

So you are agreeing that if someone were to become a neo-Nazi, it would be understandable to disassociate from them?


There is nothing "fun" about transgenderism to me. It's one of the most black pilled things in existence to me. I get that for some people they don't mind hanging out with trannies. You do you. For me I really would rather not.



Oh that's what I'll do if I skip, just say something else came up. I would still like to see all of the other people involved, and it would be a shame to miss out on that because of one mentally ill person. But that very well may be how it turns out. Ever since COVID I've definitely had to get used to the idea of just not associating with liberals.

No worries pal, you do you.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

Or when psychologists convinced people that they really did witness heinous acts of rape, murder, and even cannibalism of children via recovered-memory therapy.


Broke: Changing your gendered behavior to match your physiological sex.
Woke: Changing your physiological sex to match your gendered behavior.

Bespoke: Being a Sigma (fe)male and not giving a fuck about societal expectations.

 

[teriyakiburns]

That's a selfish grief. You're "burying" someone alive because they no longer match your notion about themselves. I would be scared if I was trans.

Over the course of my life, I've lost many of my loved ones well before they died.

I lost a good friend to a cult; I saw him hollowed out, everything good and pure and unique about him sucked away and replaced with the mindless tenets of the cult, until he was little more than a dogma-spouting automaton. I buried him, in my mind, a decade before he eventually did die from whatever fucked up combination of drugs, abuse and neglect finally did him in. I had to, because no matter how hard I had tried to bring him back, the friend I knew was irretrievably lost.

I lost another friend to cancer. She held on for years, never daring to show her pain and fear, full of joy and passion for every day she still lived, but in the last year of her life her personality was fundamentally altered. She was reduced to an angry, screeching shell of a human being, racked by pain, incapable of controlling her id, and no longer caring to try. She was dead, as far as I was concerned, and whatever compassion I had for the thing that remained of her only existed because of the memory of what she used to mean to me. I mourned her death well before she was put in her grave. The actual moment she passed was a relief.

The trans cult is no different. It takes people and destroys them, crushing and shredding everything that they were and turning them into mere tools of the cult. It is a mind cancer, leeching everything unique out of their personality and leaving behind another mindless tranny clone, obsessed with swirly skirts and socks and grotesque stereotypes of the sex they've convinced themselves they want to be, and the pursuit of ever more extreme body modifications. They exist only to pursue sexual desires that can no longer be fulfilled. I call them dead because everything that they were and could have been is gone, and only a shell is left. The fact that it's still ambulatory is irrelevant. The person I knew is gone and they're never coming back. So I mourn, and I put them in the metaphorical ground, and I move on.

Live long enough and you'll do this many times. It's a part of life.

 

[neverendingmidi]

Over the course of my life, I've lost many of my loved ones well before they died.

I lost another friend to cancer. She held on for years, never daring to show her pain and fear, full of joy and passion for every day she still lived, but in the last year of her life her personality was fundamentally altered. She was reduced to an angry, screeching shell of a human being, racked by pain, incapable of controlling her id, and no longer caring to try. She was dead, as far as I was concerned, and whatever compassion I had for the thing that remained of her only existed because of the memory of what she used to mean to me. I mourned her death well before she was put in her grave. The actual moment she passed was a relief.

Live long enough and you'll do this many times. It's a part of life.

Been through that with my grandmother. I cried more when we needed to put her in a home for the last couple of months of her life for her own safety than when she died. She was starting to call us or the police saying she'd been kidnapped when she was in her own home, overdosing on meds because she'd think it was a new day whenever she woke up and would re-take them, call my mom at 2 in the morning thinking it was daytime, etc. That was the point when she was far enough in the dementia that there really wasn't much of the woman who I'd loved as a child.

 

[DumbDude42]

This is how you end up with an emotionally unstable young woman on an Amtrak to a troon squat house in Portland, crowdfunding and dramaposting all the way about her abusive family.

for these people the internet is an addiction. allowing an addict to live with you while indulging in his addiction just makes you an enabler.

in this case, allowing your mindbroken and delusional daughter to continue going on the internet in your house is like allowing your fuckup son to inject heroin in your house.

 

[Jimmy Olsen]

It means that you didn't care much about them in the first place if them merely becoming trans has soured your relationship beyond recourse.

Trans stuff isn't the only reason I don't talk to the girl I mentioned here anymore. It probably isn't even the main reason. we simply stopped talking as much because our lives got busier, and nowadays she doesn't seem that interested in talking to me (and I don't do any asshole shit like disrespect pronouns when we speak.). It just makes me sad that it's something she did to herself, since we were close in our teen years. I don't want her to end up with a broken hip at thirty due to osteoporosis from blocking estrogen, or start having issues with roid rage given she already had problems in that area.

 

[Aunt Carol]

for these people the internet is an addiction. allowing an addict to live with you while indulging in his addiction just makes you an enabler.

in this case, allowing your mindbroken and delusional daughter to continue going on the internet in your house is like allowing your fuckup son to inject heroin in your house.

I can see where you're coming from; this is a complex problem, though. The daughter is 20, so the mom doesn't have the simple power over her that she would a minor. Cutting down the internet requires taking the daughter's phone, too.

Given her internet addiction/online troon cult, that's the kind of ultimatum that would also end in the daughter leaving, same as evicting her again.

It sounds like @Bob jensen wants to try to avoid her daughter hitting rock bottom, for fear she won't come back from it. And for OP's own emotional pain; it's hard to watch your loved one suffer, especially when it's all so unnecessary.

Another sad complication is that if OP's daughter were doing heroin, she'd be able to reach out and assume any social services were on the same page about drug abuse=not good. It's hard telling who's going to hear the daughter's troon angst and narrow their eyes at OP.

I only now realized @taco freak and @Taco Salad were different people. Forgive me; you're both delicious.

 

[Jimmy Olsen]

Okay, since this is supposed to be a support thread, I'm asking for support/advice.

I've previously explained my position.

My trans daughter won't DO anything. Moved to another country for college, but had to return home almost exactly 2 yrs from today for COVID. Since then has stagnated into "muh disabilities"...

Suicidal ideation, self harm. Check all boxes.

She comes by it honestly I think (except for the trans part).

Is now undergoing DBT weekly.

WONT GET A JOB. volunteers at shelters because I threw her out several months ago and said she'd have to get a job, and while looking for a job, volunteer and do housework.

What next?

This is my child. My parents say send her to an abused women's shelter. I can't do that.

This is my child.

I haven't a clue what to do at this point.

One thing I will say about the job market as someone around the same age as your daughter, is that is it difficult to find stable work with all the covid stuff (at least in my area). You could apply, get a job, and then get laid off the moment another lockdown starts.

If she has writing or drawing talent or experience, she could open up commissions online for a little bit of money (I spent a few years doing that), but given her issues with the internet already, that probably wouldn't be a great idea. There are a lot of creeps who want thinly veiled pornography, and if you don't know how to spot them you can get into trouble. It also doesn't make a ton of money. Plus, you have to learn to keep your emotions under control, since you'll deal with a lot of asshole customers and crazy people. I've got one guy who still makes alternate accounts to vandalize my page because I wouldn't work for free over two years ago. To me, he's just my personal lolcow and has become a bit of an in-joke among the people I work with, but something like that could be really hard on someone who is dealing with self harm and suicidal thoughts. I'm just putting it out there because it's an option for when everything locks down and there are no jobs, if it's worry of losing the job right after getting it that's putting her off like it has with so many other young people.

 

[taco freak]

It's an example, not an equation. Nobody is going to waste their time weighting all of this thread's stories against its extremist remarks.

You're absolutely correct. Sorry for bothering everyone. I'm off.

Actually, that's what I did when I first came here. I found KF by using uncensored search engines to find support for people who "lost" people to gender ideology. I spent almost a month reading this entire thread in my spare time and assessing exactly that, the balance of extremist remarks to stories told.

I am educated and a professional in certain subsets of analytical skills and systems thinking (this sentence is intentionally vague for my personal protection). I tried to do this analysis with as little interference as possible, knowing what I didn't know (the reliability of narrators and data/perceptions; the people in the stories themselves), accounting for my own bias and emotional pain with someone I lost to this ideology that brought me here, and comparing outside statistics and data (including data collected by and "approved" by trans orgs to help give bigger picture context).

I did all of this because this is how I make my decisions, with evidence, understanding, nuance and as much neutrality as I can muster. I am not here to be a bigot or enact a prejudiced agenda. I am here because I lost the only person I ever could call a sister to this cult, because she began to despise and harm me just for being female and okay with it. I was endlessly accepting and it wasn't enough.

In the end, I don't find any remarks made here extremist, only some of the ones made in other threads about lolcows, and you know extreme when you see it. This thread is full of people who saw someone they love get turned into a pod person, and then got shouted down by the rest of the internet about it when they mourned that person. We don't mourn what they are now (unless they're a graceless degenerate or a shitty asshole of a person) - we mourn the past we share with them that they throw away when they retcon reality to fit their delusion, we mourn what we love about them that is fed to the incinerator of the ideology so they can be "born again" (it really is a replacement religion).

I can see where you're coming from; this is a complex problem, though. The daughter is 20, so the mom doesn't have the simple power over her that she would a minor. Cutting down the internet requires taking the daughter's phone, too.

Given her internet addiction/online troon cult, that's the kind of ultimatum that would also end in the daughter leaving, same as evicting her again.

It sounds like @Bob jensen wants to try to avoid her daughter hitting rock bottom, for fear she won't come back from it. And for OP's own emotional pain; it's hard to watch your loved one suffer, especially when it's all so unnecessary.

Another sad complication is that if OP's daughter were doing heroin, she'd be able to reach out and assume any social services were on the same page about drug abuse=not good. It's hard telling who's going to hear the daughter's troon angst and narrow their eyes at OP.

I only now realized @taco freak and @Taco Salad were different people. Forgive me; you're both delicious.

You are forgiven, I completely understand how thoughts of tacos addle minds. Also I appreciate your contributions, some posts you've made have really helped me

To anyone in this thread trying to keep someone in your life that is getting sucked into this cult, I second the motions for grey rocking any talk about trans stuff beyond what is necessary for understanding and empathy, and I urge you to take them outside, on walks, adventures, traveling, to cook or play sports or create things with their hands or pet animals.

The person I lost simply made Twitter her whole world and I think all the time about how she told me if I had actually been there to be her friend it might have been different. (Unfortunately my disability didn't allow for that, and I think her request is selfish and uncompromising in light of that, but that is why we don't talk. That, and her attacking, borderline/cluster B crazy behavior towards me for being cis.)

So I say - do your best to love them wholeheartedly, unconditionally, as they are, and to bring them offline positive experiences, but don't allow yourself to be debased, abused or otherwise shat on. Have boundaries. Some people go so deep into the cult that they experience cognitive dissonance when they see you're cis and accepting, or conservative and accepting, and they take the pain of cognitive dissonance out on you. If that happens, it's too late and you should just take care of yourself, part ways as gracefully as you can and let them figure it out.

Edit: Jesus fuck I can't type on mobile to save my life, and apparently I had no idea how to use line breaks. Sorry kiwis, I fixed it

 

[Protistology]

That's a selfish grief. You're "burying" someone alive because they no longer match your notion about themselves. I would be scared if I was trans.

I would be scared if I was trans.

You are trans. That's why you're upset.

 

[DumbDude42]

I can see where you're coming from; this is a complex problem, though. The daughter is 20, so the mom doesn't have the simple power over her that she would a minor. Cutting down the internet requires taking the daughter's phone, too.

as long as the daughter lives in her home and subsists on her money, she has whatever authority she wants. "hand over the phone or you're on the street" is appropriate.

since she's a legal adult, whether the daughter will comply, or whether she will run off is ultimately her decision. if she chooses to run off, then she was already beyond the point of no return and nothing the mother could have done would have brought her back anyway. and like you pointed out, there's no outside help available cause social workers and therapists will just tell her that being trans is stunning and brave, so this kind of personal ultimatum really is the only option the mother has left to try and bring her back.

it's like cult deprogramming - the first step you need to do is cut the subject off from the cult, otherwise any deprogramming efforts you attempt will be drowned out by the cults own ongoing indoctrination. so, if you want to un-brainwash your child and detrannify her mind, you have to first cut her off from the tranny hivemind, otherwise they'll simply keep pouring their own brainwashing into her mind and your efforts will be in vain.

 

[Jimmy Olsen]

You are trans. That's why you're upset.

If this person is trans I don't understand why on Earth they would come to this thread. I don't read threads about things I know are going to piss me off, unless there are posts there that present interesting arguments.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Feeling like a lost generation, here: born too late to expect a husband to support me;

I will support you as an aunt with all my imaginary kiwistickers, m'lady. Your reddit Karma will be preserved.

I spent almost a month reading this entire thread in my spare time and assessing exactly that, the balance of extremist remarks to stories told.

Damn, didn't realize the thread would be that far reaching.

I am not here to be a bigot or enact a prejudiced agenda. I am here because I lost the only person I ever could call a sister to this cult, because she began to despise and harm me just for being female and okay with it. I was endlessly accepting and it wasn't enough.

I'm going to cry. I wish there were more sites where the users don't drop racial slurs and talk about men in diapers to be kind to all those who lost someone.

So I say - do your best to love them wholeheartedly, unconditionally, as they are, and to bring them offline positive experiences, but don't allow yourself to be debased, abused or otherwise shat on. Have boundaries. Some people go so deep into the cult that they experience cognitive dissonance when they see you're cis and accepting, or conservative and accepting, and they take the pain of cognitive dissonance out on you. If that happens, it's too late and you should just take care of yourself, part ways as gracefully as you can and let them figure it out.

I wish I could give you a semper fi in this forum. Bless you, Taco Freak

If this person is trans I don't understand why on Earth they would come to this thread. I don't read threads about things I know are going to piss me off, unless there are posts there that present interesting arguments.

The internet is about coming into places you don't like then telling the other people there that they're wrong to satiate your ego and to defend what you believe in because other sites already protect it. Humans fq+eel strongly about things, but sometimes, they just want to get into a fight. Everyone who responded to that person was reasonable, but really, there's no point.

Ideally, you change people's minds. Sometimes it is by being reasonable, sometimes it is by guilt and associating a thread like this with extremism. Sometimes you pull out whatever argument just to fuck with people as a troll or just in a vain attempt to win even if you contradict yourself.

This is a thread full of people who are venting, making them easy to get a rise or argument out of. On other threads, people would have jumped in to say "GAS ALL TRANNIES 41% NOW" as soon as the person spoke just to fuck with them back.

You are trans. That's why you're upset.

Don't say that! You might cause someone on this thread to troon out!