Russian Invasion of Ukraine Megathread

[Titos]

Dishonorable slavs, the correct military method is for noble champions of each side to stride proudly to the front of their formations, loudly proclaim their lineages, and engage in single combat where God will decide who shall be victorious

Are you implying there is such a thing as an honorable slav? Might as well tell us stories about a sober Irishman, a human Chinese, or a pure blooded Brazilian.

 

[mr.moon1488]

In Mariupol, the Russian military bake bread for the residents of the city

The military showed how to bake bread in the field for the residents of the city.

Bread is prepared carefully and wiZ love
View attachment 3132857

Have a delicious meal in the feed. Military cooks in Ukraine provide hot meals to Russian servicemen

Lunch menu for Russian servicemen on the front line: canned vegetable soup, buckwheat porridge, apple compote, as well as gingerbread, waffles and bread with butter.
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Pretty wholesome I wouldn't mind a whole TV show of military cooking.

I'll have to be careful with this topic since cooking is something I've been known to sperg about.

Don't know of a military cooking channel, but this channel covers a lot of historical cooking with a good I'd say 80% of it being historical military cooking.

What's funny about the bread thing is that Roman legionaries used to make their own bread in the field.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

I'll have to be careful with this topic since cooking is something I've been known to sperg about.

Don't know of a military cooking channel, but this channel covers a lot of historical cooking with a good I'd say 80% of it being historical military cooking.

What's funny about the bread thing is that Roman legionaries used to make their own bread in the field.

That bread looks so TASTY! Have you seen the crud they call bread in an MRE? I mean sure MREs are convenient and all that but if I had a choice I'd go for what this guy's cooking. Does need some meat though. But I hear Russian were eating dogs and babies so that works for me.

 

[Bush King]

The US expected Ukraine to fold like a wet noodle and offered to evacuate the Kiev government on the first day. Prior to the war breaking out the Biden administration informed the US congress that its Ukraine policy had failed and there was nothing they could do to salvage the situation.

Oddly enough, the UK and France didn't subscribe to this narrative. If you want to get really conspiracy minded, that is where the real glow ops are. The UK has been BIG mad at Putin since the Polonium incidents, and the fact that they ran bomber drills off Scotland. The French were also really exercised over the pressure Russia has been putting on the EU, and unlike the imbecile Germans, France has a robust nuclear energy program that Macron has expanded. France has no need for Russian Gas, as virtually all heating and cooking in France is done via nuclear fire.

The end result has been the unholy anglo-frankish alliance has once again emerged. And this time the USA is led by a feckless and senile imbecile. France and Britain have free range to settle many old scores and establish a new paradigm in Europe. For the Brits, they want Putin to pay for past slights, and for the French they want the Germans to know Europe's destiny will be decided in Paris and not Berlin.

This war is excellent for both causes. The USA is just along for the ride.

Spoiler: NATO thoughts

This is also why the "muh USA" spergery with NATO is stupid. People saw the obvious lie when Biden said "NATO has never been more united" on the first two days of the invasion as Germany blocked SWIFT bans and Italy was concerned about luxury car exports but then will pretend that the US is the mastermind of NATO where everyone bows to Biden's CIA butt-wiper. The truth is that the USA has the guns, but has made major concessions going back to the 70s to France and Germany when they threaten to not play ball. The only one concerned about Russian gas is Germany- France and the UK weren't so stupid to burn their forests to have green coal and gas, and the rest of the EU have small domestic sources that cover their needs. Germany runs the EU due to her economy but understands that they are the least important NATO member, and their own generals readily admit this going back decades. When Ukraine was invaded the government asked the Bundeswehr how they could supply them and the generals said they didn't even have enough trucks to bus a handful of rifles they didn't have.

The real geopolitical moves being made now are those between France and the UK/Visegrad Group and Ukraine in Europe and AUKUS in the Pacific. This is probably why China has been uncharacteristically mum on Ukraine when everyone expected them to go whole hog, hoover up Rubles and ship all their weapons to Russia. The one good foreign policy move Biden has made was to give Australia a fast track to nuclear submarines and Japan is now getting serious about recreating the Imperial Navy and Army (something that cannot be understated in how huge of a polar shift it is). They don't want any more major changes in their own theater while they try to create and train a blue water navy and want things to remain quiet for now.

Whatever your opinions on who should win in Ukraine, it's ultimately not that important. NATO is not impressed with Russian military capability right now and that will only get worse as they have begun large spending increases. My personal view is that Putin probably thought they'd not sanction (or be cucked on SWIFT/gas like we all thought they would be) but more importantly increase budgets due to the recession the GloboHomo has stupidly self-imposed. Every day Putin is fighting he is losing funds on replacing rather than procuring while NATO gets stronger. Even if tomorrow something changes and he gets full achievements in HoI4, NATO security has not meaningfully changed. The Soviets were far stronger and NATO far smaller in the 80s and we all know now that the Bear was scared of NATO power then. The real threat is in China. The UK and France are still old colonial powers. People forget that they have military commitments due to places like New Caledonia and are pissed off over China's handling of Hong Kong. Much like how all the intelligence agencies are sperging about non-existent militias, they know what the real threat is and internally are preparing for the peaceful religion. Ukraine is the public's golden cow used to justify the oiling of the machine.

Anyways, please laugh at shit meme for those who remember the golden days of the PS2

 

[mr.moon1488]

That bread looks so TASTY! Have you seen the crud they call bread in an MRE? I mean sure MREs are convenient and all that but if I had a choice I'd go for what this guy's cooking. Does need some meat though. But I hear Russian were eating dogs and babies so that works for me.

I've never actually seen good MRE bread. Imo countries should just ditch MRE bread entirely and go with crackers.

 

[Übertroon]

The Clown House of Donetsk

 

[White_N]

That bread looks so TASTY! Have you seen the crud they call bread in an MRE? I mean sure MREs are convenient and all that but if I had a choice I'd go for what this guy's cooking. Does need some meat though. But I hear Russian were eating dogs and babies so that works for me.

No kidding Freshly baked bread is one of the most wonderful things you can taste. It reminded me of when my grandma baked a loaf for us when we would visit. Good times.

 

[White_N]

I've never actually seen good MRE bread. Imo countries should just ditch MRE bread entirely and go with crackers.

I'm not sure about MRE bread, but here's a canned one, which I think is similar. Just look at this monstrosity and tremble.

 

[Arc]

You know going with this new Something Awful theme, which one of the glow-posters do you think are gonna be found Bengazi style killed in Ukraine?

 

[mr.moon1488]

I'm not sure about MRE bread, but here's a canned one, which I think is similar. Just look at this monstrosity and tremble.
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Well, all sides to my knowledge used canned bread during WW2 as a ration, and from what I've heard it was pretty good. I don't know about modern store-bought stuff though.

 

[TurkishOreo]

I'm not sure about MRE bread, but here's a canned one, which I think is similar. Just look at this monstrosity and tremble.
View attachment 3132976View attachment 3132977View attachment 3132978

That looks like turds got stuffed into a can and being sold as bread.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

Don't know if this was posted yet, but apparently a Ukrainian commander was caught in bed with a tranny.

https://streamable.com/zo8epa

Can any Ukrainian speaking Kiwis confirm if this is true?

FAKE. That was actually a femboy, bigot.

 

[Kane Lives]

I'm not sure about MRE bread, but here's a canned one, which I think is similar. Just look at this monstrosity and tremble.
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I will say, I will try this at least once to say I did. It looks edible enough.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

My guess is either A.) They're just that ass blasted if it wasn't a false flag or B.) Will use this to try and justify regime change or outright annexation if it was a false flag. Or maybe it's both. I've said ever since the beginning of this whole thing that Russia's public demands are just set dressing for their actual goals.

My theory is it was Airwolf

 

[cistendered]

This from the BBC just a little bit ago - the Ukrainians are neither confirming nor denying responsibility for the attack in Belgorod. Kinda weird, if it was them I would expect them to claim it as it is a good morale building piece of propaganda, at the same time a big part of anti-Russian propaganda has been CIA FUD about how the Russians are completely demoralized and killing their own officers and shooting down their own planes, so the Ukes could be engaging in some of that. I highly doubt it was a Russian false flag, I don't think they need any justification to pull out of the largely performative peace talks, and if they did I would think they would hit something of lesser value than ammo and oil depots.

 

[Sexual Chocolate]

View attachment 3133041
This from the BBC just a little bit ago - the Ukrainians are neither confirming nor denying responsibility for the attack in Belgorod. Kinda weird, if it was them I would expect them to claim it as it is a good morale building piece of propaganda, at the same time a big part of anti-Russian propaganda has been CIA FUD about how the Russians are completely demoralized and killing their own officers and shooting down their own planes, so the Ukes could be engaging in some of that. I highly doubt it was a Russian false flag, I don't think they need any justification to pull out of the largely performative peace talks, and if they did I would think they would hit something of lesser value than ammo and oil depots.

No telling, but the fog of war is real, Ukies are probably having difficulty coordinating their remaining forces, it might be somebody went off script, and it's even possible some drunk Russian pilot fucked up and bombed Russia.

If it was a false flag you'd expect them to hit civilians tho. The FSB is evil enough to do that.

 

[A_Callow_Youth]

Aussie's back:

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

Ladies ladies, I come negotiate peace: you’re both wrong and true German beer, fresh from the fatherland, is the best drink in this situation!

Hell no, they'll be either fucking or fighting faster than saying "Ghent". Beer is a root cause of the essential German problem; picking fights with all their neighbors, or otherwise wanting to fuck them.

 

[Mr Cuddles]

Russian troops withdrawn from Chernobyl with ‘acute radiation sickness’: report

An employee at the Public Council at the State Agency of Ukraine for Exclusion Zone management said the soldiers had fled while “irradiated” and bused to a medical facility, the Mirror reported.…

nypost.com

Russia has retreated from Chernobyl. The entire unit assigned to the area has severe radiation injuries.

Bollocks! You expect us to believe that?

 

[Mr Processor]

My theory is it was Airwolf
View attachment 3133029

Charles Henry Moffet was the real Ghost of Kiev.