4/2/2022 - Guntfest - Killstream KingPin - Ralph's Bowling Tournament - Gunt hosted a Bowling Tournament in Dallas, TX on April 2th.

[Gloryhole Patriot]

Dax is already talking to Jim on Twitter.

Holy crap, looks like Dick is even joking about lying about the injury with him too??
The Tweet

 

[Meat Target]

In Hollywood, a butterfly flaps its wing atop the be-stubbled dome of Jada Pinkett Smith's otherwise barren head. In a Texan bowling alley, a pair of drunken rednecks re-enact the brouhaha between Pinkett Smith's husband, Will Smith, and comedian, Chris Rock, at the 94th Academy Awards ceremony, only with a little more vigour. We exist as fractals along the same fern leaf.

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Incidentally, the tiny monstrosity pictured above is a Weeble. They were rather popular during the 1970s when all children's toys incorporated a measure of horror in their design, as an introduction, by stealth, to the adult world. I still have one somewhere, dressed in a sailor's outfit, as if it has just wobbled off the set of a Jean Paul Gaultier unisex perfume commercial.

That was the other thing about Weebles - their low centre of gravity. They were marketed under the tagline "Weebles wobble but they won't fall down (or break their orbital socket in Portugal)." It's true.

As you can see, there are certain physical similarities between Ralph and a Weeble: The unification of the upper and lower body into a fleshy-egg-shape; the porcine nose; the dead eyes brimming over with resentment and hate, and the mysteriously pleased with itself smile. Like Ralph, a Weeble will take a punch with its upper body, while its weight keeps it anchored to the ground, causing it to immediately spring upright. You can try this out for yourself. Order a 1970s Weeble on Ebay, or somewhere, and slam your fist into it until your knuckles are bloody. Time after time it will come right back up at you, crying for your arrest, just like that time in a Texan bowling alley when Ethan Ralph was initially too dumb to realise that he was being punched.

I am coining the Twitter spat between Metokur and Ralph, as the battle of the Weeb and the Weeble.

This lined up perfectly:

 

[IamnottheNSA]

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Disgraceful.

It's not gay if gunts aren't touching.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

This lined up perfectly:

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The Little Enos Burdette meme hasn't gained enough traction. I guess most here aren't old enough to appreciate the cultural significance of Smokey and the Bandit.

 

[Lobster Cult High Priest]

Ralph's walk is so strange, he always walks as if he's creeping around a house full of people sleeping. While simultaneously holding his pants up because his ass was swallowed by his gunt.

Blood memory from his days in Ronnies crackhouse. Ralphamale tradition going all the way back to Henry VIII

 

[Scipio Americanus]

I'm kind of wondering if this almost bipolar way of interacting with people is a deliberate, intentional thing on Ralph's part he's picked up to try and imitate the behaviour of popular TV and movie mob bosses and gangsters. Everyone knows the trope of the big bad guy sitting in a dark room with his victim, building tension, and then they do the switch-up where the boss goes from serious and grim to laughing and being personable either to psychologically fuck with the other guy or to do a "hey kid ya got balls, I like that." shtick.

Ralph sees himself as a super hardcore probably mafioso at this point, or at least cult leader, and everything in his life revolves around presentation. He's probably jealous that Sargon got the 'Don' nickname rather than him.

Ralph is Chris Chan's true and honest successor. Ralph lives his life in his own personal CWCville-tier delusion, complete with Chrislike autistic meltdowns. I wonder what Gunt's equivalent of the boyfriend-free-Barb saga is gonna be... Something to do with Harry?

 

[Alexhypethrow19992]

Someone needs to take the L and go on destiny's stream and try to go damage control for our side of the internet by telling ralph decent into whatever he is now, because this is embarrassing.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Ralph is Chris Chan's true and honest successor. Ralph lives his life in his own personal CWCville-tier delusion, complete with Chrislike autistic meltdowns. I wonder what Gunt's equivalent of the boyfriend-free-Barb saga is gonna be... Something to do with Harry?

At this point, if ralph fucks sandrachu I think I'd have to delete my account and touch grass forever.

 

[Kramer on the phone]

So it’s safe to assume @Kramer on the phone / Pantsu was watching her man all night with the baby during the events. She witnessed the same things we all saw. Will this event and the Alice Leaks be what finally cause this lovely horse to pack her shit and leave for good? I cannot put my finger on what would break the horses back to get her to finally see some sanity and logic to run for the hills.

i'm on the nora plan right now. Seriously though; May is just doing what lots of molestation victims do. "if i was raped by my uncle/dad's friend because i was so purehearted i'm going to degrade myself instead by fucking the trashiest people" the worse her situation the better she feels basically.

The Little Enos Burdette meme hasn't gained enough traction. I guess most here aren't old enough to appreciate the cultural significance of Smokey and the Bandit.

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enos doesn't look like a rapist or a bigot. plus the high schooler he was marrying was going to have a good life.

 

[Scipio Americanus]

Agree, this is the most Chris-Chan Ralph has ever been. When he says "like a damn bowling pin" I had flashbacks of Geno's documentary. Chris Chan is unironically stronger and more manly tho.

It's beautiful. The dimensional merge really happened that day; Ralph has stepped up and honorably decided to continue the legacy of Chris. What a hero.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

enos doesn't look like a rapist or a bigot. plus the high schooler he was marrying was going to have a good life.

To be fair Little Enos is taller and in better shape.

 

[Salvatore Leone]

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Disgraceful.

Not sure if someone has mentioned but he probably wore the same fed shirt twice in a row so he could have a dark shirt that covered the gunt curves. That would also imply that Ralph only brought the disgusting grey shirt from the drive and the fed shirt wardrobes only.

 

[Scipio Americanus]

At this point, if ralph fucks sandrachu I think I'd have to delete my account and touch grass forever.

Don't worry, we have a few more sagas to get through before Sandrachu. We're only halfway through this wild ride, at most!

 

[#KillAllPedos]

The thicc elbow alog on Jesse's stream confirms the gunt stomp, amazing!

Honestly, it wasn't a bad shot for a guy who is clearly not a boxer. People saying it was weak, but it snaps Ralph's head back. If he had more speed and power, it could have knocked Ralph out. Also, it was a fair shot because Ralph ran up on him and took his sunglasses off after talking shit. That's asking for a fight, Ralph. You started shit, you got hit. And that shot was telegraphed, you should have been ready.

Also, @Ralph, you kicked this guy in the head while he was restrained by people you hired. Those must have been some weak kicks, because I just saw him talking on camera and his face looks better than yours. What a pussy Ralph is.

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

When you look at that photo of all the attendees, you can just hear, "I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. We're doing a story on people who travel to other countries seeking sex with partners below the American age of consent."

 

[Meat Target]

Would anyone have access to the unedited stream, or could they clip a part from the Blaze Studios rant he did? It's the one used in Sunrise Productions, but I would like it without tuba please.

9:11 - 10:23

In particular I want the part about him ranting "They set me up like a motherfuckin' bowling pin!" because that is going to be the new "They played us like a damn fiddle!" (at 9:19)

Tuba free version

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Why would you want it without the tuba? That's the soundtrack to Ralph's life.

 

[Image Reactions]

PIG UPS, RALPHAMALE! DON’T LET THESE AYYLAWGS GET YOU DOWN!!!

 

[A Sunset]

Also, @Ralph, you kicked this guy in the head while he was restrained by people you hired. Those must have been some weak kicks, because I just saw him talking on camera and his face looks better than yours. What a pussy Ralph is.

Tubby weakling Ralph can’t even hurt someone with his subhuman guntermensch fans holding them down and he gets a free kick to the head. ”Arrest him! Arrest him!” Ralph squeals, as he effeminately kicks the Chad A-Lawg with his 5-inch heel boots.

Wee little midge can’t do any damage with those toothpick legs. Documented and proven on camera. Bitch made.

 

[InwardsStink]

Fat tub o’lards who are really going to Vegas to fuck deeply discounted black whores. The only thing Ralph loves more than black pussy is sucking and huffing shit out of black bitches’ used up assholes.

He should just go to Atlanta or Baltimore, they are a lot closer.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Good lord, if anyone has editing skills like Kate Winslet or Seizure Robot 5000, there’s so much good material to work with here. I know Ralph isn’t really in their sektur though.