We take out another bomber plane and its undead crew, this time with no casualties.
I have another folder full of 1500 or so screenshots and not a whole lot new or interesting has happens so I'm going to be really compressing the samey missions down from now on.
First order of business, I rename the Pachyderm. I'm not terribly happy with the name to be honest given how utterly sick of anything to do with Ukraine I am these days, but at least I haven't needed to name anything Welcome To Earf in this thread.
Civilian traffic is still occurring on our scanners from time to time, this may be the last one we ever see though.
I very unwisely pack the Bhukhanke with most of the newbies and the Slave Soldiers and only one veteran. Negev is nearly killed as a result, even though we only engage four Sky Ninjas on this mission.
Speaking of Sky Ninjas, these incredibly irritating jet bikes still continue to harass us every so often.
Some research completes, amongst it one particular large structure that should clearly demonstrate to you why I'm not a big fan of the farming sim elements in this game, even though i may ultimately need to take advantage of them in the end game. We're still nowhere near the technology needed to manufacture the armor I'm after, which is beginning to bother me.
The rabble finally get some target practice on a hunting mission. Zvantastika is a surprisingly good shot, matched only by the SS White Devil, though Mooger Meng, Gamer Supreme and Bimborossa aren't far behind. Witty also gets to play with her new UAC rifle, which proves both accurate and devastating even at range.
God damnit. I have a plan to deal with this though.
Two fresh new Slave Soldiers, recruited from our stock of captured Humanist Activists. As you can probably tell by the fact that they're named after banned members, these men are on a suicide mission.
Holy shit Agran actually managed to hit something.
Ultimately though, neither of them manage to kill anything. While this doesn't count as a retreat, the battle does have a craft lost modifier that takes 200 off our score, meaning in the scheme of things there's not actually a whole lot of difference between these suicide missions and just ignoring the spawns.
The Stun Damage recovered by the Canteen O Wisdom is actually pretty impressive, I'll have the remember to manufacture some for tropical missions in the future. Additionally, we finally have an anatomy on the creature that killed SalmonForSale in the last update. Its a the hell Hound enemy straight out of the oldschool Build Engine shooter Blood. We'll be seeing a lot more of these things from now on.
I suspect the background for the Necroplane Parts is a promotional shot for the old flop Jurassic Park tie-in, Trespasser.
This strange woman breaks into the hideout, probably because we still haven't hidden that fuckin door, and proceeds to get to know some of the Gals before I have Witty break it up. Perhaps one of our weebier readers can explain who this character is in reference to since I have no idea.
Another Guild Runabout is shot down, and most of the crew is captured alive. We need to ransom them due to space concerns, but I do keep and enslave the female crew members. Only being able to enslave women at the moment is a pain in the ass, one of the many reasons we could really use an extra base right about now. There's still a few more technologies I need before I'm ready to set that up though.
Speaking of taking prisoners, Witty unlocks what I think is a Condemnation we haven't seen yet. Turns out the butt of the UAC Rifle is just as good at caving in heads as the butt of the Heavy Shotgun was.
New mission type, Church Boot Camps in the middle of sweltering Jungle terrain. Most of the enemies we'll face on these missions are simple Church Neophytes who aren't up to much, but they will be equipped with superior weaponry.
Case in point, this dope armed with some kind of rocket launcher that Bezmenov takes out.
Christ almighty they're everywhere. I deliberately avoided any newbies or SS on this mission as I not only need toughness but I need to engage targets at range. I notice quite a few of the enemy are equipped with UAC Rifles too. Infuriatingly, Witty got herself wounded on the Guild Runabout mission, so the team doesn't benefit from her UAC Rifle and I forgot to equip it to anyone else.
I try my best to pick off anyone within reasonable range. I see someone squatting in the bushes and toss a grenade their way since I have no way of telling if there are more explosive weapons on this map. Its definitely a kill.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the other guy with the explosive weapon though. Dr. Ricearoni is injured in the blast but the tough shell of the Pachyderm absorbs the rest without issue.
Its slow going, but we're finally able to pick off enough of them to fan out from the Bhukhanke.
Kane Lives and Callow take one side of the building, while Ricearoni and Pocket Dragoon corner some freak in a big green robe and armed with a shield on the other.
Eventually Judge Dredd shoots the last regular enemy still wandering around through a window. The green guy won't go down though, his shield is simply too good. I have Pocket Dragoon take a step back and spray him with buckshot.
Which ends the mission.
Fortunately, we did manage to take him alive, as well as recover a handful of UAC Rifles. One more mission like this and we'll have enough to outfit the entire squad and finally move away from the Heavy Shotgun.
I get invited to another drinking binge with the head Brainer, but I think she's just lonely this time as she doesn't have much of interest to report to me.
We do get this overview of the powerful Church of Sirius Zealot Armor that is apparently the first step to unlocking another variety of shields.
Based thief, making the stripper goddess look like a dipshit.
We arrive at a Lokk'Nar rescue mission to find the enemy Reaper Cavalry all standing out in the open where we can grenade them all to death.
I was almost positive the Necropirate faction we encountered was based on the famous B17 Segment from the classic Heavy Metal movie, where a dead bomber crew comes back to life to take over the plane, but it would appear to be just a coincidence.
Meanwhile, the Highwaymen are deadringers for the Main Force Highway Patrol from the first Mad Max movie.
Some other extra junk we researched in the mean time.
The Christine crew shoots down a larger Megapol police cruiser. the battle starts off promising when Niggermancer manages to gun down a Wolfman, but the enemy blow out one of Christine's engines.
Shit, its one of those big guys!
Grenades are out best chance, but the bastard just shrugs them off. At least the Wolfmen are still vulnerable to them, as NerdShamer demonstrates when she blows up a sniper on the high ground.
The target wanders off, seemingly unwounded.
Fire doesn't seem to be a terribly effective weapon either. At least we're able to shoot down some of these tiny robot drones to keep morale up.
Luckily the dipshit with the stun launcher is a terrible shot, and Forever Sunrise is able to feed him a grenade before he can knock anyone off their feet.
One of them has take up a position on the top of the hovercar and is raining down Hell on us. Even worse, the weird inclines of the vehicle direct the grenade blasts away from him, meaning even if we throw everything we have at him it still won't be enough. I didn't pack shit for heavy weapons on the Christine either. Fuck!
Lacking any other options, I have Niggermancer go for it. She rushes out of the hovercar and around the police cruiser, then manages to engage one of the big guys in melee. While taking plasma fire from both the roof of the cruiser and another enemy behind it, i might add.
Somehow, she doesn't get burnt down by plasma fire and manages to knock out the second guy too. I notice only now looking at these screenshots that my attempt to shackle him actually failed. I guess he was too grievously wounded from earlier to get back up though. His plasma weapon is unfortunately too advanced for Niggermancer to operate though.
The third brute has left the roof of the police cruiser now, but is apparently flying. Meaning those things come equipped with a grav belt. Wonderful. He's now out of reach of Niggermancer's melee and what's left of the grenades we have on hand too.
Forever Sunrise does not take it well.
Out of options, I have Niggermancer run back to the first enemy she knocked out and sweep his weapon, a Boom Gun, up, and unload it into the remaining enemy. i pray it has some kind of armor piercing capability, otherwise we're really fucked.
Got the fucker!
Finally, thank god its over. we'll have to get some research in on that Boom Gun so Christine can have an AP weapon on hand in future cases like this.
Shadow News publishes a report that could questionably be pointed at us, but is hopefully drawing attention to the myriad of other factions that fly all over the place conducting kidnapping missions.
The month ends, business as usual.
Some miscellaneous research. The only important piece of this is the Large Prison, which is the second to last missing component of our next base before the Large barracks.
The Industrial Scanner is an extremely important piece of technology and an important milestone, but unfortunately the maximal extent of our ability to learn about it has been reached. We'll need to capture Academy or Guild Engineers to study this technology further.
The Gals go wandering in the desert and dig up an old weapon crate.
This technology unexpectedly gives us the ability to manufacture ammunition for some of our heavy weapons. I get the Runts on LACC ammo right away, as we need a heavy weapon to punch through at least that tough Megapol armor.
Next time: The our march continues, hopefully I have more to report on!
I personally found LACC to be complete ass(you could even say LACCluster -no wait please not the hellerium bathBLAAAARRGH). It's extremely innacurate, takes a ton of time to fire and the damage is actually surprisingly low. Maybe it's been buffed since then, but I'd still take some CAWS with AP slugs as a backup option.
Ugh, Sirius training camps. I've had a very strong aversion to those on account of my first one turning into a danger close napalm strike straight out of We Were Soldiers. For underwater missions, you should have access to air tanks at this point. It's cumbersome and inelegant, but you can absolutely lug one around and drop it whenever you need to take a shot. Also, give my titles a peek, I think I picked up Succubus a few updates ago. I wonder if it's bugged, because there's already a generic one for knockouts, and the text indicates that it's supposed to be for Charm damage, which isn't something we've been doing.
Ugh, Sirius training camps. I've had a very strong aversion to those on account of my first one turning into a danger close napalm strike straight out of We Were Soldiers. For underwater missions, you should have access to air tanks at this point. It's cumbersome and inelegant, but you can absolutely lug one around and drop it whenever you need to take a shot.
Drowning is less of a problem than being ripped to shreds by enemy ranged attacks from all directions and having no decent ranged weapons to fight back with. I find throwing knives are the most annoying wepaon in the game in the hands of the enemy.
Also, give my titles a peek, I think I picked up Succubus a few updates ago. I wonder if it's bugged, because there's already a generic one for knockouts, and the text indicates that it's supposed to be for Charm damage, which isn't something we've been doing.
I'll take a look next time I crack the game open. I notice almost all of the capture Condemnations seem to presume you're using charm. I guess it still makes sense from that old joke of just clubbing your lover to be and dragging them off caveman style?
I have another folder full of 1500 or so screenshots and not a whole lot new or interesting has happens so I'm going to be really compressing the samey missions down from now on.
By this point, I'd like to think most of us know how the sausage is made. We won't hold it against you when you go picking out the highlights while grinding through the gorillion pounds of questionably-sourced meat you've got on hand.
First order of business, I rename the Pachyderm. I'm not terribly happy with the name to be honest given how utterly sick of anything to do with Ukraine I am these days, but at least I haven't needed to name anything Welcome To Earf in this thread.
On the practical upshot, the odds are good that nonsense will be done long before you're finished with the LP, so it will just be a happy(???) memory by then.
Two fresh new Slave Soldiers, recruited from our stock of captured Humanist Activists. As you can probably tell by the fact that they're named after banned members, these men are on a suicide mission.
I have to admit I find the modern App landscape a little frightening, I spent about 15 minutes looking for a composer credit for that song and couldn't find a single human name attached to the game at all.
I'm positive that television scripts are being written by robots now, but whole games?
I suppose synthwave written by robots would be an appropriate next step for the genre.
Finally.
Rumor have reached us that there is yet another underground pool of Hellerium located in The Confederacy. It seems this location used to be a massive underground complex connected to an artificial river that ran beneath the base. The facility is dilapidated, disused, and has mostly fallen in. But the Runts think they can excavate at least an access shaft and allow us into the interior.
Hmm, you know that is a kind of steep price given our current funds...
Or is it?
During the dig, the Runts come across a sign saying "Cheyenne Mountain Freedom Complex". Legend has a different name for this site, however.
Seems the facility has been disused for so long that absolutely none of it is salvageable. We get to work on the basics. I have big plans for this place. (Yes, I'm aware I could have started earlier, I kept forgetting)
There's a a lot of really irritating fucking around on this mission since I'm insistent on getting the newbies some kills, which I do manage. Zvantastika remains an impressive shot and probably our most promising recent recruit, but Overcast, while somewhat frail, is actually nearly as good of a shot already.
I can't remember if I've shown this condemnation off yet, here it is again just incase.
I'm excited about the Gauss Cannon as its leagues ahead of the technology we currently have equipped on our two attack craft, but we don't quite have the spare parts needed to assemble one yet.
Its time to give the Academy another bad day.
I try to take as many as I can alive since I can only keep female slaves still. It will be a little while before Skynet will have the space to build the prison unit and even then I'll have to wait for it to finish construction. At that point though, Skynet will be used to enslave captives. The normie slaves will be sent to Beauty Parlor for work, while Slave Soldiers will be recruited on the spot to prevent them from getting mixed in with the rabble. That should alleviate the space issues at Beauty Parlor, finally.
Research completes on that pig man that gave the Christine crew so much trouble. Turns out its a pig cop from Duke Nukem 3D, only equipped with more appropriate sci-fi gear.
I have Witty chaperone the newbies and Slave Soldiers on a warehouse raid. It actually goes over surprisingly well even though Witty is the only one able to land a hit on anything for half the battle. The Slave soldiers don't get a chance to do much but at least the newbies get some target practice in.
Super Sad Smile also managed to take in some live captures. Once again I executed most of the men since they're worth more to me as target practice than as slaves for the moment.
Some explosive techs complete, nothing I'm too interested in. Unfortunately the exploding arrows are not quite as awesome as the ones in Rambo 2 and 3 though the description does say they are effective against lightly armored vehicles. I haven't even remotely learned how to use the Bow & Arrow in this game so they're not much of an option so far.
More eventful is the research on recruiting Lokk'Naars, which I've held off on since it unlocks Lokk'Naar-specific missions that I'm not a big fan of, but I figure I'm obliged to do this time since I'm actually trying to showcase the mod a little.
The Bhukankhe somehow manages to destroy one of these annoying jet fighters that I have been quietly avoiding the entire time. These things are a lot more maneuverable than we are but it only took one rocket to take it down. They also have awful range so at least we can outrun them.
These losers again. We capture three of the female ones this time, at least we can probably do something with them.
Forever Sunrise actually wins us our first Aircar Race Trophy, as I have been having absolutely terrible luck with where these have been spawning. The mission description which I failed to screenshot indicates that Jack sabotaged the other contestants The Great Race-style, but you do still have a limited amount of time to make it to the site.
Upon arrival, there's only a single turn before the lone enemy, a harmless Academy Student, surrenders. There's an occasional chance that the friendly civilians on the map will kill her though, but its almost impossible to run out and grab her likewise. She lucks out this time, and she's tied up safe and sound in the trunk. In addition to picking up a new hostage, we also collect a Young Uber who was amongst the civvies.
Later on the Christine shoots down a Bandit Aircar over the Atlas Mountains but I send the newbies and Slave Soldiers over to deal with it instead. Two bandits proves to be almost too much for them as White Devil catches a round and eats dirt. At least he wasn't killed instantly. Luckily Niggermancer is on hand to pour vodka on the wound until the bleeding stops.
Some interesting milestone research finishes up on the Grav Harness and Aerodynamics, nothing too spectacular. I also research the zombie corpses we have taking up a horrendous amount of space. The Head Brainer cheerfully informs me that the Strix Zombies don't just have balloon tits, but actual, literal boob jugs filled with the poisonous bile they've been spewing at my troops.
Without missing a beat she pulls a letter out of her cleavage and says this was in our mailbox. It absolutely reeks of perfume. Nope, I'm letting Witty open this one.
Wait, we have a mailbox?
It takes Witty about two minutes to remember she can't read. I'm satisfied the letter isn't drugged or some shit at this point though.
Yeah, mysterious admirer, that is infact a lot of strange coincidences that happened all in a row. The name Clemborg doesn't ring a bell though, either I haven't been paying attention or I'm behind in some kind of research. Probably the latter since I've been trying to ignore missions I don't have the equipment to deal with yet. This letter seems too well-written to be from that weird kid (?) who cut in on our radio earlier though.
The Lady of Bloom? Is that like a cult that worships that insane Lokk'Naar goddess the Brainers gave me a report on earlier?
A Megapol cruiser had also been shot down not too far from our base. I have some experienced Gals go to pick it up. Notably, NerdShamer is also the second Gal to receive a UAC Rifle.
Nice thing about the Aggressor armor is that its considered stealthy, so the Gals absolutely tear through this Bandit Warehouse with ease.
Some research completes, nothing too notable. I also have the Runts assemble a Flak Tower Kit out of recovered 25mm cannons since the Large Prison Complex apparently requires one in its construction.
I settle on expanding with some Large Vaults for now. It'll be longer before i can use this base as a prison complex, but at least I can do something about my storage problems in the short term this way.
This Temple raid goes over without any of our squishier members eating a bullet. Bezmenov manages to capture the Priest alive, while even Disc manages to overcome her frail human nature and take a two enemies alive. I'd still like to get her into some kind of better armor so she can participate more, but I guess its just not in the cards now. I must have really fucked up the research tree somewhere.
The Lokk'Naars are for all intensive purposes, Short Stacks. Which I'm slightly divided on as they tend to be associated with loli. On the other hand, the chick who played Thumbelina in Total Recall definitely didn't look like a child, so I think that association is largely nonsense. Also she died a few years back, F.
Lokk'Naars I have to hire no matter what and I do need them for Lokk'Naar-specific missions so if anyone wants to get ahead of the pack you can just make a request and I'll recruit you right away, like with the Slave Soldiers. This is also the standard loadout I'm going to try and equip them all with, most of them can't even carry this much though.
The Young Uber Forever Sunrise picked up at the Aircar Race has also been recruited. Oddly enough, she refuses to give us her name, claiming only to have been "former pirate", though not one of ours. Coupled with her bad grammar our Brainer (not) Doc says she must've hit her head and just thinks she used to be a pirate. Seems legit. She brings a normal human named @Neo-Holstien into the dorms with her, apparently a conquest from her pirating days. Additionally she insists on wearing her pirate garb in Swashbuckler fashion "like the old days". I tell Witty not to argue with her, she'll probably be wearing armor soon anyway.
Yes, I moved the names around a little so Neo-Holstien could get a Gal instead of a Lokk'Naar, since he requested a waifu instead of a regular pirate. I reserve the right to arbitrarily do this whenever I feel like it.
However, @JongleJingle, I legitimately fucked up and forgot you while I was naming the others. You can either wait around until I get another Gal or I can recruit you right away as a Slave Soldier, Lokk'Naar or Damsel if you like since I have each of those on hand. Regardless of what you choose, you're currently at the top of the list.
JongleJingle
Hans
TerribleIdeasTM
McMitch4kf
Mary the Goldsmith
Polyboros2
Gimmick Account
not william stenchever
Radical Centrist
Llama King
SailingTheSaltySeas
Plant Aqua Mammal
Fougaro
Zaryiu2
Hard Toothbrush
Womanhater69
R00T
Comstar
Additionally, now that we have a bunch more troops, promotions get handed out all over the place. NerdShamer moves up to the rank of Pirate Princess, while Witty Squid and Figger Naggot become Mistresses. Witty rather petulantly demands I refer to her as Senior Mistress to distinguish her now not-unique rank from her comrade.
The Gals throw the new recruits a party that gets a little out of hand.
I recall really not liking these missions, but it might just be because I find the cave levels headache inducing.
I did legitimately look into this option, but not being able to clip anything to your belt would have been killer.
Most of the mission looks like this, just poking around various tunnels that have nothing in them. There are occasional female panic noises though, which is... different.
Out of nowhere, Wintersun stumbles on no less than two Ratmen at once. She gets on, but is low on Time Units. Agarathium has to come up behind her and get the other one.
Fuck! While I'm moving up Grotesque Bushes to give them some backup, a third enemy fires from beyond visual range and nails @Agarathium1066. I was trying to avoid casualties at least long enough for everyone to have one mission under their belt.
Wintersun avenges her fallen comrade with her second kill. Later on, ShoFuKan manages her first kill as the tunnel to the south are swept.
Jet Fuel Johnny plugs one that's crouching in a hole.
Dammit Mandrake! and Grotesque Bushes massacre the rest of them at the end of a longer tunnel.
Well, that certainly could have gone a lot worse. Amongst the loot is a captured Damsel, if you guys were wondering where that one I offered to JongleJingle came from.
Unfortunately Agarathium was killed off on her first mission. at least the list isn't a million names long anymore and I can get around to the resurrections relatively soon.
We seem to have researched enough shield colors to finally get started on Personal Refractors.
Of all of this junk, only the Landmine is important and that's because researching it is a prerequisite to manufacturing better explosive devices. Ignoring it this long is probably why we're bottlenecked on decent explosives. The Air Musket however, while not a super impressive weapon, finally gives us something useful to take the fight to the Deep Ones with.
It may interest the history spergs among you to learn that air rifles are infact not a new invention and infact were a common toy of rich assholes from about the 17th century onward. One particular example was even brought along on the Lewis & Clark expedition.
Some interrogations are also finished. Its a somewhat amusing contrast that the Academy, an organization staffed and run almost totally by women, forces its newest recruits to dress in much skimpier and objectifying clothing than the run of the mill Ruffians. You'd think the Ruffians would have the worse opinion of women between the two, but apparently not.
The tips column continues to be of dubious use. I suspect the first image is taken from a fetish comic involving clothes shrinkage given the way both of them are looking at their attire.
I'm gonna be, less than pleased,if it turns out the capeshit is an important technology pre-requisite.
The Steel Pact doesn't seem to be too notable, showing that XPiratez like many settings suffers from the "nothing ever happens in South America" syndrome. Well, at least that's consistent with my Russia LP.
The different varieties of shields in this mod makes the system kinda confusing and makes armor that relies on shielding seems kinda useless next to say compared to just having moar armor.
Similar to trying to rely on evade compared to just putting yourself into a ducktaped (durataped) plasteel coated coffin and calling it a day.
I guess it can be useful if your at the stage and have hyperwaves and know which enemies you face but damage types change throughout the campaign; so, even knowing your enemies weapon type wont be helpful and suddenly youve got retard shields that if they tech up and give you weakness to something.
The Head Brainer cheerfully informs me that the Strix Zombies don't just have balloon tits, but actual, literal boob jugs filled with the poisonous bile they've been spewing at my troops.