Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

[AltisticRight]

He can work in a fatctory

If the factory makes cranes and require a counterweight for testing them, sure.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Ralph could never work a job despite the fact that a job and some responsibility along with steady income would fix 75% of his problems right now

 

[An automatic clown]

Ralph is far too short to work in a factory. I speak from experience.

 

[MeltyTW]

Not to mention ralph doesn't even know which way to turn a screw. The man has literally never worked in his entire life, he wouldn't be able to do the most basic renovation/maintenance tasks.

I doubt he even owns screwdriver.

Not to mention even people paid to do this shit often fuck up in situations where they don't check everything as good as they could have or didn't account for some variable that fucks everything up. Whats Ralph going to do if he spends all the money and or effort and somehow gets the crack shack looking good only to find out there is some fuckery involving elevation and the foundation or unforeseen water seepage or something about where the foundation is or where the land is that just fucks the entire structure of the house.

have him work a simple factory job. make sure it’s separate from other workers, he’s very sensitive and won’t like when they joke about his height. make it as simple as possible: work 8 hours pressing a button on an assembly line

wildsmile was talking about bar work and im thinking if the reports of him being a lot nicer in person when youre not too close to him are true he might be okay at some sort of hosting job or one based alot on human interaction if he has a tard handler to make sure he doesnt feud with people or rape peoples girlfriends or daughters. Sure hes dull as shit to us but maybe his antics irl like in portugal or how his life spiraled in some internet talk show or a general normie overview of the strange people he leeches content from might be really fun for just everyday people who might see ralph at most every other friday at his most kempt and cleaned.


thats being insanely optimistic even now a part of me is more expecting even with a tard handler preventing him from giving engine searchable info about his neo nazi show and keeping his pig hooves away from anuses and his anger down he'd probably tard out and squeal and strip and shit on the tables like a wild animal like hes threatened to do so many times live and get his ass beat by a little girl.

If the factory makes cranes and require a counterweight for testing them, sure.

lol crane stress testing. how many gunts before all but the top tier cranes collapse like foil?

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

If the factory makes cranes and require a counterweight for testing them, sure.

Clearly you were not intellectual enough to get my clever play on words.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

Ralph is far too short to work in a factory. I speak from experience.

Please elaborate. I actually play poker with a guy that’s about his height and works a factory job, and I’ve never really heard him complain.

 

[An automatic clown]

Please elaborate. I actually play poker with a guy that’s about his height and works a factory job, and I’ve never really heard him complain.

I guess it would really depend what that particular factory made. Sure there are jobs at my place of employment he could [scrub the toilet, sweep the floor, quality assurance] but the machines we have are far taller than him. He would need a step stool to do the most basic of tasks. We've had short people before and they don't work out because of the physical limitations.

 

[veri]

he might be okay at some sort of hosting job or one based alot on human interaction if he has a tard handler to make sure he doesnt feud with people or rape peoples girlfriends or daughters.

on the surface that sounds like *maybe*it could work but you gotta take into account that he will completely misinterpret well meaning statements and flip his shit over jokes. that and no matter how good you are at the job there’s going to be pissed off customers who will yell at you about shit that’s not your fault. even if he’s a host or a server there’s inevitably going to be a few customers that flip their shit at him cause their order was wrong/cold. plus if it was at a bar there’s the chance of having to deal with drunk customers trying to start shit

i’ve worked service jobs that are by themselves easy enough but add on the problem of understaffing and everything i mentioned above, the job becomes way more complicated and high pressure. maybe it depends on the type of place you work but i’ve worked with customers who demean workers and treat them like shit, and still respond be it subtle but ralph doesn’t have that ability. that doesn’t take into account the asshole manager who won’t stop giving him shit for small reasons either.

Spoiler: pl

i knew someone similar to ralph in a lot of ways with a short fuse who couldn’t keep a job for more than a few weeks. complained about being “too good” for work. keep in mind ralph hasn’t even had one job

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

on the surface that sounds like *maybe*it could work but you gotta take into account that he will completely misinterpret well meaning statements and flip his shit over jokes. that and no matter how good you are at the job there’s going to be pissed off customers who will yell at you about shit that’s not your fault. even if he’s a host or a server there’s inevitably going to be a few customers that flip their shit at him cause their order was wrong/cold. plus if it was at a bar there’s the chance of having to deal with drunk customers trying to start shit

i’ve worked service jobs that are by themselves easy enough but add on the problem of understaffing and everything i mentioned above, the job becomes way more complicated and high pressure. maybe it depends on the type of place you work but i’ve worked with customers who demean workers and treat them like shit, and still respond be it subtle but ralph doesn’t have that ability. that doesn’t take into account the asshole manager who won’t stop giving him shit for small reasons either.

Spoiler: pl

i knew someone similar to ralph in a lot of ways with a short fuse who couldn’t keep a job for more than a few weeks. complained about being “too good” for work. keep in mind ralph hasn’t even had one job

Yeah he would absolutely be terrible at any customer facing job. People are assholes and you have to not freak out and spaz at them and Ralph is incapable of doing that.

 

[Bonanza Jellybean]

Yeah he would absolutely be terrible at any customer facing job. People are assholes and you have to not freak out and spaz at them and Ralph is incapable of doing that.

He could probably get a job with an inventory company. They basically go into retail stores overnight and count/record stock. No customers to deal with and they usually hire felons. He'd just have to avoid sperging when coworkers jokingly give him shit about his height/weight/etc.

 

[Christorian X]

A lot of these jobs require way too much effort for him to leave the reality he's constructed for himself. I could see him being a bartender at a hole in a wall bar or bowling alley. Pouring beers and whiskey on occasion and sitting on a stool jawing with burnt out blue collar alcoholics (essentially more Ronnies) the rest of the time.

 

[Spergetti]

I guess it would really depend what that particular factory made. Sure there are jobs at my place of employment he could [scrub the toilet, sweep the floor, quality assurance] but the machines we have are far taller than him. He would need a step stool to do the most basic of tasks. We've had short people before and they don't work out because of the physical limitations.

"Manlets need not apply"

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Is he able to livestream currently without turning off the camera and hoovering fentanyl or whatever shit he does up what’s left of his nostrils? There’s a lot to consider if he’s going to work a real job (LOL).

 

[Michael Janke]

so with the whole dateraped alice, how will that play into his suspended sentence?

 

[AncientPhosphur]

so with the whole dateraped alice, how will that play into his suspended sentence?

It won’t at all unless charges are filed and a case is brought up and he’s sentenced.

The sentencing part would be doubtful since it’s he said she said stuff at this point.

 

[AltisticRight]

Clearly you were not intellectual enough to get my clever play on words.

A crane's counterweight is usually 5, 7.5 or 10 tonnes a piece, so yeah, that's the joke.
I know, bad and autistic like most of my other jokes.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Not correcting the record.

 

[Christorian X]

Vickers has released Ralph's response to the DVRO. It's fucking hilarious. He disavows his son and says he'll just focus on his other child. Ralph essentially says he's not going to fight for Xander.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Ethan has finally paid his long past-due court fees for the Dissemination of Images conviction. I don't know the exact date this happened, but I believe it was sometime within the past 30 days, as they were still unpaid in late March.

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[Derpy]

Ethan has finally paid his long past-due court fees for the Dissemination of Images conviction. I don't know the exact date this happened, but I believe it was sometime within the past 30 days, as they were still unpaid in late March.

Previous:

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Now:

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Pretty monumental here as it’s Ethan Ralph being a good boy for once.