🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[I'd abeeb bear]

So it’s worthless to him. Can’t borrow against it, and the only people on Earth who might be interested in buying him out are his Uncle who can’t afford to buy Ethan out, and his retarded brother who ain’t buying shit.

In fact, it might end up a financial drain. I think someone said that the Uncle pays the property taxes on that land but if he ever stopped paying the whole thing, Ethan would have to come up with not only his 25% of the taxes but his brother’s 25% as well. I’m betting the Uncle pays the taxes because he uses it for hunting or some of his friends/family do. Those folks probably give the Uncle enough each year to cover the taxes in exchange for being able to use it for hunting. That’s just about all that land is good for unless you’ve got the money to buy the rest of the family members out AND THEN another $250k to clear some of it, build a home, and attempt to join the Swamp People.

>build a home
Just put up a metal shed with some Christmas lights and you're ready go to, Wayne Lambright style. I'm sure you can find some snakes to fight off in Louisiana too, for the truest experience.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

>build a home
Just put up a metal shed with some Christmas lights and you're ready go to, Wayne Lambright style. I'm sure you can find some snakes to fight off in Louisiana too, for the truest experience.

98% humidity, temps over 100F every summer, nasty swampland full of water moccasins, gators, feral hogs, nutria big as dogs, swarms of mosquitoes so thick you can’t see through them. Gunt would sweat himself to death the day he moved into that metal shed. Add to that the fact that the folks that live out in the swamp are tough and take no shit from anyone. Even if he survived the climate, the first Cajun he talked shit to would probably knock his teeth out and that Cajun’s brother the Sheriff and his Uncle the Judge would let him get away with it and that’s actually the BEST outcome for Gunt out there. Ask anyone from there and they’ll tell you that folks disappear back in that swamp all the time and that Sheriff and that Judge I mentioned don’t really give a fuck as long as it’s not someone from there or someone they consider “good people”

 

[Lincoln A-log]

Ralph trying to cover up for his fake ring is hilarious

 

[An automatic clown]

Ralph trying to cover up for his fake ring is hilarious

If only he put that much effort into raising his daughter or seeing his son.

 

[Hüftpriester]

ARREST HEEEM

 

[Italian Ghost]

Ralph tweeted this in May 2020 and half of these people are still living rent free in his mind.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

ARREST HEEEM
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Ralph and Peetz team up when?

Aw who am I kidding, Peetz would beat the shit out of Ralph in a debate. Yes Peetz. No I'm not kidding, I think Peetz without any knowledge of the shit thumb or Ralph's other transgressions would end up on top of a bloodsports match with Ralph. He'd rage and Ralph would shit his pants and lose.

 

[Hazel Motes]

I specifically remember him saying to Sargon live on air, "Well Ahm glad your kid died..."

So I guess technically he wasn't making fun of Sargon's kid, he was simply announcing that he was glad a baby died in the womb. Gee wiz Ralph so sorry about that! Thanks for correcting the record there buddy! Being so angry that you have to cope by telling someone how happy you are their kid is dead is a way better look. Pack it up guys it looks like Ralph is actually a good Christian and human being after all except for that one tweet of course.

I recall it well because Keemstar noped out straight away after he heard it.

 

[FundusOHoolihan]

I recall it well because Keemstar noped out straight away after he heard it.

It went like this.

Ethan: *something about Sargon using his warplan purple Twitter account to sic journos on...someone...can't remember who.*

Sargon: Because it was funny, because fuck you, Ralph.

Ethan: WELL I THINK UR KID DYIN WUZ FUNNY HOW BOUT DAT

Sargon: That's why I say fuck you.

Keem: God damn it, Ralph. I gotta go. *goes*

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ethan: WELL I THINK UR KID DYIN WUZ FUNNY HOW BOUT DAT

I hope people continue to shake pill bottles at him until the day he dies. Watch out, Rozy— your rattle is fixin’ to trigger daddy into a hollering rage.

 

[Hüftpriester]

Ralph: PPP swatted Surfer!
Ralph less than 2 hours later: How dare you suggest AF swatted Rekieta! I hope my master sues you for this tweet!

T/A
T/A

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Ralph: PPP swatted Surfer!
Ralph less than 2 hours later: How dare you suggest AF swatted Rekieta! I hope my master sues you for this tweet!
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T/A
T/A

While The Gunt has mastered the turnaround time from "YER FAMILY MEMBER SUCKS!" to "HOW DARE YEW TALK ABOUT MAH FAMILY!" he's also driven it into the ground. Everyone knows about it. He doesn't get any traction off of "THEY BROUGHT MAH FAMILY INTO IT!". The horse has been beaten into glue at this point.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph: PPP swatted Surfer!
Ralph less than 2 hours later: How dare you suggest AF swatted Rekieta! I hope my master sues you for this tweet!
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T/A
T/A

"It's unlawful to make accusations on the internet with no proof! Anyway, I heard Elijah Schaffer was in gangbangs with over 50 gay dogs."

 

[Lincoln A-log]

I love when he gets piled on like he is today. It's a good chance for him to make terrible snap decisions and posts

 

[BibiLivesMatter]

Ralph: PPP swatted Surfer!
Ralph less than 2 hours later: How dare you suggest AF swatted Rekieta! I hope my master sues you for this tweet!
View attachment 3219548
T/A
T/A

Ralph and Fuentes showed this weekend that they have no morals and are okay with others being treated differently with things they do themselves. "Don't dare say bad things about my family, but hey I should shit on your dead kid with no qualms!"

 

[Gaunt King Ithan Rilph]

Celebratory wigger wobble, Ralphamale detractors will never recover.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Celebratory wigger wobble, Ralphamale detractors will never recover.

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So he actually is Chris Chan now? I’m confused I think the writers got their teleplay pages mixed up.

 

[WhimsicalTrolli]

Celebratory wigger wobble, Ralphamale detractors will never recover.

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Nigga got tired after the third swatting motion.

 

[Fannyscum]

One of Ralph's Paypigs forgets his place:


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I assumed this was directed at Fai Fai but it could just as easily be Alice, Nora, Ade, Corinne, Salty Sandra or just a random prostitute:

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Metokur is the new Joshua Conner Moon's penis:

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[FundusOHoolihan]

One of Ralph's Paypigs forgets his place:
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I assumed this was directed at Fai Fai but it could just as easily be Alice, Nora, Ade, Corinne, Salty Sandra or just a random prostitute:
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Metokur is the new Joshua Conner Moon's penis:
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Ethan always acts like not having any abortions under his belt is a super own, as if it's for lack of him trying to pressure Faith into an abortion. Stinkpig.