Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Aunt Carol]

How long until Jack realizes you can make your own dog food, that people like to watch videos about it...
...and that that would mean plating a big bowl of RAW MEAT.

 

[Neko GF]

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[Kuritan Deplorable]

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I've never actually watched the end of one of these - is it normal for it to just linger dead silent on 18 seconds of a mediocre bitmoji scene? That was the weirdest outro.

 

[Gruntmaster-6000]

I've never actually watched the end of one of these - is it normal for it to just linger dead silent on 18 seconds of a mediocre bitmoji scene? That was the weirdest outro.

Nevermind the outro, even the text of his intro wants him dead.

 

[captkrisma]

I've never actually watched the end of one of these - is it normal for it to just linger dead silent on 18 seconds of a mediocre bitmoji scene? That was the weirdest outro.

Yes, because Jack LOVES to pad out the run time to fool the YouTube algorithm. He's about a minute shy on this one.

Jack also fucks up a couple of things here. He doesn't say how long you cook the chicken for, just that it cooks faster than breasts. Adding the butter to a ripping hot pan made me wince inside and seeing the butter brown and eventually burn was even worse.

Jack confirmed he has a pest problem in the house. Living in TN, the worst thing we have this time of year are hornets coming out again and mosquitoes....so Jack pretty much confirmed they have a rodent or a cockroach problem.

 

[Whatthefuck]

100%. It's why he includes her barking all the time. He thinks it's cute and relatable to have a pet that interrupts you. So he forces it into every video. It's a shtick and one that is only funny about the first time or two.

I just had thought about this. So, we know he likely uses his fat-fests as business write offs. He likely uses his hoard acquisitions as write offs, well, the ones he doesn't return. What if he uses Tam Tam as his "accountant" and they write off her "work" as well? I know she works outside the house and I'm definitely not an Accountfag, but if so, does that not seem a bit...sniffy?

 

[Aaway]

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the copious amounts of butter and heavy cream aside, the end result actually doesn't look too awful by jack's standards

i guess HOPE making noises and jack saying "my dog" at the beginning of each video is a thing now. at least he didn't say "my new puppy" like he has for the last month

CHECK DA FLAME @ 2:09

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

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The "Jack stops to stare angrily at his dog every time she makes any sound at all" schtick is wearing really thin. He's just too stupid to either put the dog outside or just keep talking even if she's noisy. It honestly pisses me off to see a grown man fuming at a puppy doing normal things.

Jack doesn't even bother to season the bottom of the chicken, really atrocious job even by his standards.



Mmm yummy. Make sure to keep the charred bits in the pan when you add the onion, that really adds flavor.



Jack adds the entire jar(!) of sun-roasted tomatoes, because he can't taste anything. The recipe is literally just chicken and veggies cooked in heavy whipping cream. Add a bit of store brand canned parm and dried oregano for that authentic Eye-talian taste.

Jack sounds angry and tired for the entire video. He's rushing the narration because he clearly hates having to produce content but understands if he doesn't churn out new crap on a regular basis Mommywife will stop subsidizing his lifestyle. Plus the vascular dementia seems to be getting worse, he's definitely struggling by the time he gets to the tasting.

It also looks like he's turned on Super Thanks for his channel now.

 

[AnOminous]

100%. It's why he includes her barking all the time. He thinks it's cute and relatable to have a pet that interrupts you. So he forces it into every video. It's a shtick and one that is only funny about the first time or two.

It's exactly what other fat fuck lolcow dying of obesity Boogie1488 does, using his dog named Sammy as a "Sammy shield" to try to fish for sympathy right after he's done something disgusting that people are mad at him about.

Jack doesn't even bother to season the bottom of the chicken, really atrocious job even by his standards.

Never mind crowding the fuck out of the pan. I noticed the prominence of Bacon Up in the video.

 

[Staffy]

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More animals should be shitting in front of Jack's house.

 

[captkrisma]

Jack adding the bon appetite at the end a la Julia Child makes me want to throw him down multiple flights of stairs.

 

[Super Hans]

I just had thought about this. So, we know he likely uses his fat-fests as business write offs. He likely uses his hoard acquisitions as write offs, well, the ones he doesn't return. What if he uses Tam Tam as his "accountant" and they write off her "work" as well? I know she works outside the house and I'm definitely not an Accountfag, but if so, does that not seem a bit...sniffy?

It's been brought up before that the IRS ever audited Jack, they would classify what he does as a hobby because of how little revenue he's gotten in the 15 years he's been doing this shit. Couple that with that Jack is also the type to write off with products that he returned, he and Big T are extremely lucky that they aren't a big enough fish for the IRS to care about.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

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Jack is getting really incoherent. He's starting to struggle keep a cogent thought for even a couple sentences.

"There's a myth... Do you put coldst- cold oil into a hot pan or do you put cold oil in a cold pan and heat it up?... I just start with the oil in the pan, cold on cold... Some people say otherwise."

I'm not entirely sure what he meant by this. I got that he lets the oil heat with the pan, but what was the myth? Is the myth that putting oil into a hot pan is better? Better how? Is the myth even wrong, Jack didn't say. He just said he prefers something different to the "myth".

It's also a completely random and pointless tangent. He's been cooking on youtube for over a decade, why does he need to specifically mention his oil preferences in a Tuscan chicken video now of all times. It's like he's just a stream of consciousness gurgling about whatever random thoughts cross his mind with no concept of past or present.

I'm probably overanalyzing a Jack video, but it's just so fascinating to watch a man die in slow motion.

the end result actually doesn't look too awful by jack's standards

You sure about that? Looks like a semi-liquid shit.

 

[TheLazyMan]

I cannot begin to imagine what Tammy ever found in him. I keep thinking there’s gotta be a reason they only ever had Junior and no other children.

I just had thought about this. So, we know he likely uses his fat-fests as business write offs. He likely uses his hoard acquisitions as write offs, well, the ones he doesn't return. What if he uses Tam Tam as his "accountant" and they write off her "work" as well? I know she works outside the house and I'm definitely not an Accountfag, but if so, does that not seem a bit...sniffy?

Now you're thinking like #TheLazyMan !

 

[stets]

I just had thought about this. So, we know he likely uses his fat-fests as business write offs. He likely uses his hoard acquisitions as write offs, well, the ones he doesn't return. What if he uses Tam Tam as his "accountant" and they write off her "work" as well? I know she works outside the house and I'm definitely not an Accountfag, but if so, does that not seem a bit...sniffy?

You need revenue for tax write offs to matter. Jack doesn’t have much of that. If they’re just writing off taxes to the extent that Jack isn’t paying taxes on his meager YouTube income, the IRS would probably just tell them to knock it off and probably wouldn’t go after them.

If they’re filing jointly and consistently reporting large yearly business losses from Jack’s write offs to the extent that they’re substantially reducing tam hams W2 tax liability, then they’re begging for problems. That’s really brazen, and it’s the type of shit the IRS would eventually flag and go after since the amount of money could be substantial.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

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jesus, I fucking hate how he pronounces garlic.

“gOwRLiCk”

 

[Tiresome]

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"You only want to use boneless chicken for this." Yeah Jack, this sort of thing is exactly what you want bone-in chicken for because you're searing the meat and then simmering it in the sauce so if you had a chef's neuron left in your head you'd realize how fall-apart tender your chicken might have turned out.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm not entirely sure what he meant by this. I got that he lets the oil heat with the pan, but what was the myth? Is the myth that putting oil into a hot pan is better? Better how? Is the myth even wrong, Jack didn't say. He just said he prefers something different to the "myth".

He doesn't even know what he means. Something I've seen is a wok-meister just heat up a cast-iron wok to an insane temperature, and then chuck a bunch of oil on it that instantly hits flame-point, and then immediately goes berserk with the stir-frying.

The temperature really depends on what kind of oil you're using though.

Anyway the very idea that Jack even has a mind is a myth.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

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Why did he use dried onions with the chicken if he was just going to add fresh onions later? Is there even a reason to add them to the chicken since he's not marinating it?

Also, @rubytintedchix He's going to buy more knives. What's the count so far?

 

[Chorton]

The bar is in hell when it comes to Jack and chicken recipes. Instead of being raw, he burnt the meat and seasonings while searing it and possibly split the heavy cream when simmering. Should've squeezed out the oil in the sundried tomatoes, instead this mong does the opposite and pours in the entirety of the jar. I'm also over his, "I'm not going to eat much now, saving it for later. Teehee!". You don't get to 300+lbs without eating multiple plates at dinner.