Trashfire 5/23/2022 Gunt Goes to Portugal 2 - The Double Pounder

[Charley Gondorff]

make it a Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego type show

Ralph greenlighting an international gunt hunt would actually be hilarious content

Like British newspapers used to do... You are Blobby Lud, and I claim my five pounds. The Gunt may be coming to your town.

 

[Velvet Velour]

New oinking hot off the twinkie rack
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https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1531000605556228099?cxt=HHwWhoCy0Y28mr8qAAAA

Isn't it Ralph who constantly spergs about how he will be "dead in a few years" or whatever, to sound cool?

 

[EyeGuy]

Ralph just said on his stream that "he didn't press charges against the people in January either", implying he knows who they were. It could be a meaningless slip of the tongue, or maybe he just accidentally revealed that it wasn't a random mugging after all (which would line up with the leaked Alice DMs with Meigh).

Beatdown by child prostitute's pimp confirmed?

 

[Bryan Dunn]

The ride never ends

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IRL streamers are the dumbest fucking people on the planet. You cant change my mind on this.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Apparently Cog's friend is saying that he's willing to visit Ethan in Madrid if he raises 1.8k GBP.
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Ethan you really need to stop talking shit, for your own sake.

RageTits should continue provoking these bulldog men and live-streaming his locations. Only a couple more beatings and Ralph will finally not be ugly.

 

[Meat Target]

So Ralph already got bullied out of Portugal? I was wondering if he would hit the Casino Lisboa, the largest casino in Europe. Just as well. The thought of the West Memphis Micro sitting at a baccarat table like James Bond is just a bit too surreal for my taste. It's more fitting seeing him snuffling along the streets looking for tapas like the uncultured swine he is. Free museums are about all he can afford.
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I'd pay to see the look on the dealer's face as a fat midget waddles in and flops his gunt on the felt.

 

[msd]

"YOU'LL HAVE TO KILL ME TO STOP ME FROM BEING A RETARD, IF I DIE OUT HERE IN THE STREETZ ROLLING AROUND THE GROUND LIKE A CHINK BABY I'LL HAVE LIVED AND MADE MY DEAD WHORE MOM PROUD, I LOVE MY KIDS SO MUCH I DON'T KNOW ONE AND AVOID THE OTHER DO YA UNDERSTAND?"
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This is why I wish the gunt pig a very long life

He's just gonna keep suffering the longer he lives

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

someone should make a betting site about ralph
will he survive madrid unmolested? will he return to portugal a third time? will he get beaten a third time? will he fall for another nigerian prince scam? will we get more raw footage of his exposed gunt flapping about in public? etc.

My prediction for Madrid-
While trying to look cultured on livestream, some swarthy men talk Ralph into seeing in-home flamenco dance show/tourist trap. He sits there bored as fuck and tries to leave. The dusky dudes say where you going American piggy, you owe us 4 million pesos for the show, he argues, and a beating ensues.

 

[CapricornusRex]

If this is true, and he’s short of breath while stationary, it could be one or more blood clots in his lungs. If so he’ll be dead within hours.

BTW I just noticed that it looks like he has some smashed or missing teeth on the upper left of his mouth. Between that and the nose, no wonder he’s keeping that side of his face off-camera.

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If you look at the pictures of Ralph getting fish hooked when Dan is attempting to find Ralph's fat neck, you can see his teeth look fuckin weird in that those pictures. I wish someone had asked Dan if Ralph had real teeth or not because it almost looked like Dan's thumb either pushed Ralph's dentures to the side, or he has no back molars on the left side of his face.

It could also be his face is so weirdly shaped and fat that it just looked like his teeth were off center. Somehow.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

My prediction for Madrid-
While trying to look cultured on livestream, some swarthy men talk Ralph into seeing in-home flamenco dance show/tourist trap. He sits there bored as fuck and tries to leave. The dusky dudes say where you going American piggy, you owe us 4 million pesos for the show, he argues, and a beating ensues.

Madrid is quite nice and really safe, but it's Ralph... so who knows. It'd be pretty hard and you'd have to go far out of the way to get yourself in a dangerous situation in Madrid if you're a normal person. Other than the occasional typical street scam and pickpockets it's a really safe place. You'd have to wander far out of the tourist areas to get into the bad neighborhoods, it's definitely very different from lisbon where there's whores and drug dealers on every other corner.

 

[DumbDude42]

Madrid is quite nice and really safe, but it's Ralph... so who knows. It'd be pretty hard and you'd have to go far out of the way to get yourself in a dangerous situation in Madrid if you're a normal person. Other than the occasional typical street scam and pickpockets it's a really safe place. You'd have to wander far out of the tourist areas to get into the bad neighborhoods, it's definitely very different from lisbon where there's whores and drug dealers on every other corner.

for a normal and reaasonable tourist, lisbon is a nice and safe place too

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

for a normal and reaasonable tourist, lisbon is a nice and safe place too

If you're smart and not a loud obnoxious drunkard, yes. But it is a pretty shitty place.

 

[Got Milk!]

Suicide by cop is always an option, though really I think it's Ralph that wants out but the Gunt is in control so all he can do is make allusions to it in hopes that someone hears the message and puts him out of his misery so that he no longer has to be piloted like a blubber mech by that front ass.

Isn't it Ralph who constantly spergs about how he will be "dead in a few years" or whatever, to sound cool?

You've clearly missed his entire health arc. He BTFOd Rand (I believe) with how healthy he's gonna get, he threatened to walk 2 miles right after a show AND he recently announced losing 30 pounds. Granted, the last one could be him announcing that he lost 30 Portugese monetary units and assumes everyone in Europe calls their money pounds.

 

[AnOminous]

No “charges” were “pressed”. Ralph made a statement at the police station, they stick in the “report file” and nothing will ever happen. It’s meaningless affidavit based entirely on Ralph demanding to file a report but it made Ralph feel better to have a piece of paper giving his sob story. Ralph is a fat little bureaucrat at heart.

I could go down to the local police station in my city and file a report about Insanely Retarded shoving and harassing me yesterday. It’s effect on you would the same as Ralph’s effect on Cog.

Is he still on any kind of probation or deferred adjudication? Isn't he supposed to inform the probation department or the PD any time he interacts with police elsewhere for any reason? If so it'd be a shame if some ayylawg dropped a dime on him.

 

[AltisticRight]

Madrid is quite nice and really safe, but it's Ralph... so who knows. It'd be pretty hard and you'd have to go far out of the way to get yourself in a dangerous situation in Madrid if you're a normal person. Other than the occasional typical street scam and pickpockets it's a really safe place. You'd have to wander far out of the tourist areas to get into the bad neighborhoods, it's definitely very different from lisbon where there's whores and drug dealers on every other corner.

From what I've heard, Lisbon is decent and safe too.
Ralph could visit the Cayman Islands and end up getting his pig slits rearranged at a bar.

 

[AnOminous]

someone should make a betting site about ralph
will he survive madrid unmolested? will he return to portugal a third time? will he get beaten a third time? will he fall for another nigerian prince scam? will we get more raw footage of his exposed gunt flapping about in public? etc.

He should go to Barcelona and try to score dope in sketchy neighborhoods.

He should do a full world tour traveling around the world getting his ass beaten over and over again until he gets literally beaten retarded from chronic traumatic encephalopathy like a punch-drunk boxer (but without ever having raised a fist in his own defense).

 

[Automaton Type 2B]

Something I just thought of. Does Ralph say "Five Star days" to tie it to like a hotel rating, or is it just a cheap shot against Metokur's 4/5 stars?

I think he was Eating a steak in vegas and tweeted it and said "five star days is all I fuck with now".

The shit he says is memeable AF.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

From what I've heard, Lisbon is decent and safe too.
Ralph could visit the Cayman Islands and end up getting his pig slits rearranged at a bar.

If you're socially aware and know not to engage drug dealers and scammers, yes. But there's organized gangs of people selling drugs on every other corner and groups who regularly mug tourists. I posted the vagrant holiday video a couple posts up, best way I can demonstrate my point. For a normal person who knows how to ignore people offering to sell you drugs/scam you and just keep walking, yes. But for an idiot walking around with a selfie stick, drunk, and likely willing to make a transaction with the dealers, it'll end badly as seen in the video above. Even the dude vagrant holiday who has traveled all over europe says lisbon is the shittiest place he's ever been and the only place where he's had a problem, some drug dealer beat him for having a camera when offered coke.

 

[Automaton Type 2B]

Xander is now a-hoggin the gunt.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

Xander is now a-hoggin the gunt.
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... Can Vickers stop being a fucking retard for 5 seconds and think about the kid instead of how he can ayyyylawg Ralph?