Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Captain Autism69]

LOL twice in one episode oldbi wan kenobi gets saved by the same woman after being made to look like a weak piece of shit. Best character is the moleman; he had conviction.
This whole series will be about nigsith won't it?

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I just saw Top Gun: Maverick today and it was as great as everyone said it was. Watching it made me realize something:
The sequel trilogy had absolutely no excuse for turning out the way it did.
None.

Spoiler

It showed it's entirely possible to make a sequel to a movie 30 years later and progress the story in a natural way, do right by old characters, introduce new characters who matter and don't exist solely to be fanfic tier OCs who are better than the old cast, and respect the original without just being a straight up lazy rehash. Tom Cruise actually teaches the new characters (like Luke SHOULD HAVE done) how to be better pilots but he needs them as much as they need him. He's not some pathetic old man being shat on by everyone. There's no bullshit ironic subversions anywhere in sight. No shitting on the fans. No China pandering. No tearing down of the patriarchy. No mystery boxes. "b-buh prequels bad that's why the ST had to be like OT" isn't an excuse anymore. Seeing those jets really flying in the air in IMAX demonstrates how lame and uninspired the aerial combat in the sequels really is. Do any of you guys even remember how the SKB battle went? It's all a bunch of CGI bullshit. Hell they even managed to have a conflict between two characters similar to the one Luke and Crylo had in TLJ but actually well done (and not completely nonsensical).

Spot on. There's very little I disliked about the movie, and at the end of the day it was refreshing to see a decent continuation of the character without shitting all over them. Mav stealing the plane and doing the run in 2.15 was one of the best parts of the movie and showed him as still having his shit together.

 

[Screamer]

LOL twice in one episode oldbi wan kenobi gets saved by the same woman after being made to look like a weak piece of shit. Best character is the moleman; he had conviction.
This whole series will be about nigsith won't it?

The second she appeared on screen, you instantly knew she was the one he was meant to meet. The fact you instantly know that, says how shit tier the show is.

 

[The Nothingness]

As Disney Wars goes on, I'm finding better appreciate for joke videos where lines from other IPs are given to SW characters like Darth Vader.

 

[Airbrushed Van Art]

I haven't watched it yet, but I sounds like ObiWan is exactly what I was afraid of: the titular character getting sidelined by new characters and having an encounter with Vader. On top of having moments that contradict or lessen plot points or scenes in the related movies.

All of this was what I didn't want. Skipping this.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

View attachment 3353973

I just saw Top Gun: Maverick today and it was as great as everyone said it was. Watching it made me realize something:
The sequel trilogy had absolutely no excuse for turning out the way it did.
None.

Spoiler

It showed it's entirely possible to make a sequel to a movie 30 years later and progress the story in a natural way, do right by old characters, introduce new characters who matter and don't exist solely to be fanfic tier OCs who are better than the old cast, and respect the original without just being a straight up lazy rehash. Tom Cruise actually teaches the new characters (like Luke SHOULD HAVE done) how to be better pilots but he needs them as much as they need him. He's not some pathetic old man being shat on by everyone. There's no bullshit ironic subversions anywhere in sight. No shitting on the fans. No China pandering. No tearing down of the patriarchy. No mystery boxes. "b-buh prequels bad that's why the ST had to be like OT" isn't an excuse anymore. Seeing those jets really flying in the air in IMAX demonstrates how lame and uninspired the aerial combat in the sequels really is. Do any of you guys even remember how the SKB battle went? It's all a bunch of CGI bullshit. Hell they even managed to have a conflict between two characters similar to the one Luke and Crylo had in TLJ but actually well done (and not completely nonsensical).

It makes a lot of sense why Disney is pushing this "NO GUYS THE FANS ARE REALLY RACIST" thing right now because without it Top Gun Maverick would completely take attention away from Kenobi. btw this BTFO the Rogue Squadron movie and that movie hasn't even started production yet.

JJ Abrams managed to fuck up two separate franchises, Joseph Kosinski managed to successfully revive separate franchises. It's like poetry.

Having seen the movie myself the other day, I absolutely agree with your statements. Hell, this is the antithesis of not just the What If Trilogy but also modern Hollywood franchise fetishizing.

I’ll be honest, I went in with zero expectations for Maverick. Making a sequel to a film that has managed to stay relevant for almost forty years is a difficult challenge, particularly during a era of political chaos and woke agendas inspired by the Obamas.

But Cruise and the filmmakers managed to succeeded in every manner. I really respect Joseph Kosinski for looking at the What If films and garbage like Fembusters, Woke Fate, and every garbage legacy sequel and go “Fuck No! Not Doing That!”

He actually added more character development for Maverick and the rookies, particular Rooster as he’s Goose’s son. This is a central point in the film as Maverick has to confront his past and earn Rooster’s trust, and Rooster in turn acknowledges that it wasn’t Maverick’s fault he got Goose accidentally killed.

Had it been done by the likes of JJ and RJ, Phoenix (another strong character not pandering to creepy male feminists) would have been the main character and Iceman’s daughter who shoves it to Maverick. Maverick in JJ/RJ’s version would have been a alcoholic cuck who was never that good and she would enlighten him that America was never that great. But thankfully this movie tells that style to fuck off and instead focus on making a good movie while trying to do what made the original good.

My two biggest worries for this film is that it’s probably going to have studios get interested in reviving long dormant franchises. You can tell Disney is looking at this and go “shit, guess we better go the shed and find another to milk out when Star Wars is finished.” With boomers and adults going out in droves to see this, I hope studios will start making adult oriented drama blockbusters but there’s too many manchildren and CONSUME PRODUCT basement dwellers that have a monopoly in the pop culture landscape.

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

My two biggest worries for this film is that it’s probably going to have studios get interested in reviving long dormant franchises. You can tell Disney is looking at this and go “shit, guess we better go the shed and find another to milk out when Star Wars is finished.” With boomers and adults going out in droves to see this, I hope studios will start making adult oriented drama blockbusters but there’s too many manchildren and CONSUME PRODUCT basement dwellers that have a monopoly in the pop culture landscape.

To be fair studios have been trying to drag things up from the bottom of the franchise barrel for a while now, just look at the Dark Universe. The point that Disney and the rest of Hollywood will surely and completely miss is that this movie worked because it was something that was important for Cruise and he probably had a lot of hand in getting it made. The only other revival that sort of worked the same way is Rocky (and Mission Impossible now that I think about it), but it's also because Stallone was passionate about getting it off the ground again. Disney will just drag something back from the grave with some token nods to the original and micromanage and stamp out any soul from it like they do with anything else or just go the Ghostbusters route and tune up the pandering to 11.

 

[Sneed F91]

One of these pictures is supposed to be an alien planet from Star Wars




And the other two are California

 

[Uranus Pink]

Is this supposed to be trick question?

 

[The Ugly One]

The one thing I'm not going to give Star Wars shit for is shooting scenes on Earth.

I thought of the perfect ending for the Obi-Wan series. Obi-Wan dies, preferably because he is weak, cowardly, and stupid. Perhaps he, Child Genius Leia, and Inquisitor Shaniqua (who has turned good by this point) are on the run from the rest of the Inquisitors. Leia comes up with a perfect plan to escape the bad guys, and Obi-Wan stupidly ignores it saying by something sexist, like "Like I would listen to advice from a girl," "This is a man's job," or, "Only boys can be Ghostbusters." Obviously, Obi-Wan's bull-headed stupidity gets him killed. As he lies dying, he croaks out, "Shaniqua, I am on my last breath, there is only one way...to save...Leia. We must use...the forbidden Force art!"

Shaniqua: "Sheeeit what forbidden art?"

Obi-Wan: "You must become me...and I will become you...your body will die, and mine will live."

Shaniqua: "But nigga why I finna be a bitch ass honky freal."

Obi-Wan: "The Inquisitors know you. They'll never stop looking for you...only by becoming me, will you be able to keep the Chosen One, who is definitely not Luke, as seen in our upcoming remastered Original Trilogy DVDs, safe."

Obi-Wan and Inquisitor Shaniqua do a Vulcan Mind-Meld. We see some cool special effects, rendered painstakingly on a Sega 32X, to make it clear to us that a mind-body swap has just happened. The black woman falls to the floor, and breathes her last, and Obi-Wan gets up, smacks his lips, looks in a Force Mirror, and is shocked at what her...his.?...face looks like.

Obi-Shaniqua: "I wasn't ready to come out as a man, but the ways of the Force are mysterious."

She and Princess Leia run at the same speed to a waiting shuttle. Leia boards the shuttle, waves goodbye, and Obi-Shan hurries away into the desert, now canonically a black transman. In the final scene, we see the shuttle dock with the Galactic Star Cruiser. A digitally de-aged Admiral Holdo is the pilot, and she says, "Next stop: Alderaan."

 

[Sneed F91]

The one thing I'm not going to give Star Wars shit for is shooting scenes on Earth.

I will solely because it makes the whole show look cheap as hell (this isn't Star Trek) and George's Star Wars went out of its way to not use any major Earth landscapes after the OT. It's not the 1970s anymore, so I won't take any bullshit excuses about lack of money or resources either. We have computers that can create any alien landscape anyone could imagine, but they decided to shoot in California? And not just Cali, but ANOTHER desert?

Obi-Wan dies, preferably because he is weak, cowardly, and stupid.

I'm just waiting for the day Disney completely retcons and re-edits the OT to fit the sequels once and for all. Either erasing Luke or making him female like they desperately want him to be. It'll be okay though because whenever Disney does something, it's always good! Unless it involves gay people.

 

[BubbleButt]

Is The Mandolinian supposed to be boring and ugly?

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

One of these pictures is supposed to be an alien planet from Star Wars
View attachment 3355764
View attachment 3355756

View attachment 3355751
And the other two are California

Also Fallout New Vegas landscape.

 

[Sneed F91]

Is The Mandolinian supposed to be boring and ugly?

All the D+ shows are ugly as shit. I don't see how the "Rogue One but with worse cinematography and no budget" aesthetic appeals to people.

 

[The Ugly One]

I will solely because it makes the whole show look cheap as hell (this isn't Star Trek) and George's Star Wars went out of its way to not use any major Earth landscapes after the OT. It's not the 1970s anymore, so I won't take any bullshit excuses about lack of money or resources either. We have computers that can create any alien landscape anyone could imagine, but they decided to shoot in California? And not just Cali, but ANOTHER desert?

This is kind of funny, considering Phantom Menace was widely derided for using so much CGI that it looked like a cartoon. It's not even true--the Naboo scenes in Attack of the Clones are shot in Italy, Spain, and Tunisia (note that Dune's Arrakis is mostly deserts in the Middle East, and that wasn't a cheap movie, either). And yes, all-CGI landscapes are expensive. It's not the rendering time that really kicks your ass; it's the artists.

 

[Sneed F91]

And yes, all-CGI landscapes are expensive. It's not the rendering time that really kicks your ass; it's the artists.

People can't tell if something is CGI unless it's really obvious bad CGI or something that doesn't exist like a made up alien. If Disney is one thing, it's cheap. They make fuck you money but refuse to really spend it on anything since consoomers are gonna consoom no matter what. Even the MCU started outsourcing the CGI to a million different companies after it started to get popular post Phase 1, but that's mostly because they put out a new movie every 3 weeks and a new D+ series every month. FX artists generally get treated like garbage.

 

[BubbleButt]

All the D+ shows are ugly as shit. I don't see how the "Rogue One but with worse cinematography and no budget" aesthetic appeals to people.

Like, for real, it looks like each episode's production budget was about 75 dollars and a Subway sandwich coupon for craft services.

 

[Michael Wade]

Like, for real, it looks like each episode's production budget was about 75 dollars and a Subway sandwich coupon for craft services.

I thought Mando looked pretty good for a tv show. The holodeck thing they got going on does a pretty good job of saving money while creating good looking effects, but yeah the newer ones like Obi-wan feel like they were far more rushed and cheaply made.

 

[The handsome tard]

I really think Iger forced Disney to buy Star Wars just to spite people. He probably made a bet with his buddies that he could personally run the IP into the ground.

Legit wouldnt surprise me.
They are as petty as they are powerful

It also disproves the retarded notion that the characters and the setting need to be "reset" back to square one and be made losers again to retell the same story is the only way to make a sequel. And to think it was a common defense used by faggots who tried to defend disney's nu-wars and the new Terminator film, among others.

That was always an excuse because its easier to write new characters than old pre-existing ones written by much more talented writers what you arent the worth the ground they walk on.

So you spiteful make new characters better, the ones worse and there, you got your "revenge" on the old writers for commiting the crime of being better and more passionate than you.
Its all petty spite as fucking usual.

Seriously though, I've said this elsewhere, but if you haven't seen Top Gun: Maverick, you owe it to yourself to go do it. See it on the biggest screen you can, soak in all the actual jets flying around, marvel at all the dedication it took to pull it all off, and enjoy a simple but entertaining as hell movie that doesn't shit all over the original.

Do they finally land the plane in the sequel?

I think there's some hand waiving that she must have had visions of Padme through the force.

The ep3 novel did kind allude to something like that.

It mentioned something like baby Leia taking a good look at Padme, especially her sad face and that becoming imprinted on her memory even after all these years.

Read the comments section on any video of the Vader hallway scene from Rogue One. It's the same shit. All you need to do to please these dorks is shove Darth Vader in their faces and they'll start consooming the product and masturbating at the same time.

That speaks to a big problem with Vader to me. The fact that the expanded universe, both in this case, try to make Vader too "awesome" with nearly no moments showing that he is a redeemable man.

People dont care Vader is suppose to be a tortured soul manipulated into this by the "devil" and he just needs someone to save him. They just want him to look cool and intimidating.

Yeah, it's been clear for quite some time now that James Earl Jones just doesn't quite have the voice he used to, which is understandable considering he's 91 years old now.

Holy shit, he is 91? I could have swear he was 80 at most...

 

[BubbleButt]

I thought Mando looked pretty good for a tv show. The holodeck thing they got going on does a pretty good job of saving money while creating good looking effects, but yeah the newer ones like Obi-wan feel like they were far more rushed and cheaply made.

To be fair, the second season looks like they at least upped the cost per episode to 200 bucks and a Quiznos gift card

 

[Sneed F91]

This is what it's been like since 2008