Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[slightly smashed corolla]

Longest sex session you've had?
Almost 5 hours.

I did NOT need that mental image in my head But then again a lot of people count foreplay as sex so maybe that's that.

 

[FickleFuck]

Imagine Wipey trying to get through the maze of oozing lymphadema and past Hambutt's festering fupa. There is no sex. This is exactly like her 10 times a week shit with No Neck Becks. Her tree trunks make actual sex impossible. Remember this bitch thinks hickies are sex. She's a repressed fatass. Even with all her sex talk, she still can't speak openly about sex because oh nos so shameful TMI. She's gonna die having never orgasmed other than from food.

 

[Wonky Eye]

Anyone who has ever had sex EVER knows that ofcourse not.

Spoiler: 5 lines long sex talk session

Even with a lot of stamina and ability to hold back orgasms, at some point it's just not that pleasurable anymore. And i'm talking hetero sex with peen in vageen, because rubber dildos need lots of lube if you don't wanna end up with your flesh irritated from all the friction. Eating pussy tires the eater's jaw in about 10-15min and the only reason you keep going is to pleasure your partner (which I don't think Jade would do for her gorl). Getting your pussy eaten for too long makes it either hypersensitive or numbs it, and isn't pleasurable neither. So no, Amber, you don't have 5 hours long "sex sessions", and you probably don't have sex at all because you'd need to show at least a bit of layg.

Also there is no such thing as SSBBW. Fat isn't beautiful. Plus size is gross. Super size is simply repulsive.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Spoiler: 5 lines long sex talk session

Even with a lot of stamina and ability to hold back orgasms, at some point it's just not that pleasurable anymore. And i'm talking hetero sex with peen in vageen, because rubber dildos need lots of lube if you don't wanna end up with your flesh irritated from all the friction. Eating pussy tires the eater's jaw in about 10-15min and the only reason you keep going is to pleasure your partner (which I don't think Jade would do for her gorl). Getting your pussy eaten for too long makes it either hypersensitive or numbs it, and isn't pleasurable neither. So no, Amber, you don't have 5 hours long "sex sessions", and you probably don't have sex at all because you'd need to show at least a bit of layg.

Also there is no such thing as SSBBW. Fat isn't beautiful. Plus size is gross. Super size is simply repulsive.

Also while dicks aren't in the equation in this case, priapism is a thing. If a guy keeps it up for five hours dude needs to go to a hospital immediately. People go on about women getting multiple orgasms and shit, but sexual stimulation can be super painful right after an orgasm.

There's a couple deathfat sex workers and ex sex workers in the Deathfat subforum, but it ranges from barely reaching with Hitachis to rumored cake farting. Pretty sure most sex work for fatties is just gorging themselves in front of a camera for feeders or camwhoring. It's very rarely partnered, and for good reason.

As gross as it is seeing Amber claim to give handjobs in a theater or having sex with Becky ten times a week, it's also pretty funny seeing her woefully inadequate virgin mind come up with what she thinks other people find hot or would be jealous of. I remember her flexing that Destiny was a squirter. Honey, no.

 

[L_I_F_T_E_D]

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Y'all keep calling our gorl a LAH but in her fat-addled mind, this 5 hours comment makes total sense.

Our dumb, dainty gorl definitely counts foreplay as "sex".

Eating food is 100% foreplay to her.

Y'all somehow DON'T believe that Hamber is capable of a 5-hour session of "bingeen" and being fed?

 

[FatalTater]

The best part of anything Amber does or says is that she is 31 years old.

Not 12.

Not 19.

Thirty one.

 

[FupaCitySheriff]

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Wow! It took Jade nearly 5 hours to find Fatty's split basketball of a pussy. When she eventually did, the bad news was Jade was that exhausted she needed a rest and a packet of cigs to calm her genuine anxiety. The good news was, that once she moved that final layer of fat, the unfiltered stank from Big AL's cooch made Jade semi-comatose for the rest of the day.

 

[Tardprincess]

View attachment 3372981

Guise its obvious. With the time it takes to get her to waddle to the bedroom, pull and scoot herself on the bed, set up the car jack to lift her belly, and find her genitals in the mass of thigh, fupa, and labia, a five hour sex session means she got to have three minutes of what I guess you can call coitus.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

Let's humour the whale for a second. Okay, you can have sex, it would still be a repulsive effort that only a degenerate would brag about.

They are both heavy (obviously Hambo being 600lbs is the bigger issue, heh) and one of them refuses to keep her body clean. So we are meant to believe their ''sexy'' times are super hot and last all night?

I'd say even for fetishists, that would be either not terribly fun toward the end, or just not something that happens. As someone mentioned, after awhile, even with two normal people, whatever the kind of sex they're having would be painful and irritating. Big Ham's problem with sex, as with everything else in her life, is that if some is good, more is better. So she makes up bullshi stories like her and the "gf" having sex for five hours, although it's impossible, or like she and the Beckster getting it on ten times a week, which is also impossible. Hamber is out of breath just sitting and yammering into a camera, and sex requires more cardio than that.

Fatty would be struggling to breath after two minutes, the stench would be radiating in every direction eventually filling the apartment and whatever they were having their SESSIONS on would be soaked with the beefy juices of two absolute troglodytes.

I think you mean troglodykes.

If only we could all have a sex life as marvellous as the one she makes up in her head.

We could - our imaginary sex, which is based on actual, real life experience, would be astronomically better.

Even with all her sex talk, she still can't speak openly about sex because oh nos so shameful TMI. She's gonna die having never orgasmed other than from food.

Which is why I find all the questions about sex that she asks herself over on that app hilarious. She's incapable of even talking about sex, which is why she has to indulge her fantasies by typing to herself over there. What are the odds that she'd be able to speak to anyone about what she wants, or give them course corrections while having sex? Then toss in this whole supposed BDSM thing, where you absolutely have to talk candidly about things, lest someone keels over and dies. Nope. Don't believe it. In fact, I'd be surprised if she and the "gf" have done anything beyond kissing and juvenile hickeys - this assumes that these two are in a relatoonship involving anything other than ass wiping and general caretaking, which I find very difficult to believe.

 

[Bees]

I think you mean troglodykes.

: chefskiss:

 

[Anti Pickle Serum]

Amber's fake sexual bravado reminds me of a 14 year old boy bragging about his nonexistent sexual conquests. I just wonder what she gets out of all her lies...

 

[Slappy McGherkin]

Amber's fake sexual bravado reminds me of a 14 year old boy bragging about his nonexistent sexual conquests. I just wonder what she gets out of all her lies...

Or as a pop culture reference, Mena Suvari in the movie American Beauty. Totally acting the slut and bragging about all the sex she's had to her friends, ending up on the couch with Kevin Spacey near the end of the movie, only to admit she's still a virgin. Kevin declines being her first.

One of my all time favorite movies, for a variety of reasons.

 

[WasabiPasta]

Amber's fake sexual bravado reminds me of a 14 year old boy bragging about his nonexistent sexual conquests. I just wonder what she gets out of all her lies...

I mean, kind of the exact same thing of the 14 year old boy, we know she's being ridicules, but she doesn't know, she thinks she is believable, and that everyone will be super jealous of all the sexy sex she had been having with a new gf.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Amber is first and foremost an attention whore. Whether she wants to be seen as the virgin or whore, she wants the attention for it. "Oh, such a sweet dainty gorl, not even able to take a finger in her dainty hole!" "Oh, what a nasty slutty gorl, having lesbian sex ten times a week!" She's learned that bad attention is worse than no attention at all. It's what funded her channel for so long. The problem is that we've seen it all (but laygs) before after almost ten years. So people are done with her shit and leaving in droves.

 

[Insulin reid]

I did NOT need that mental image in my head But then again a lot of people count foreplay as sex so maybe that's that.

Yes, however amber is straight up lying. Its 5 fucking hours- bitch would have packed snacks in little baggies and showed us what they are and where she keeps them.

 

[Bam_Margeras_Ass_Licker]

grocery haul & trying lamb for the first time | vlog 6-11-22​

Spoiler: Archive

 

[M.T. Graves]

More groceries. God damn it would be cheaper for Jade to just have a horse stabled and fed. Hamber is an expensive piece of livestock.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

Literally no-one is saying you're on drugs Amber lmao

Spoiler: Limpet ahoy

 

[Empress of Lucite]

Wow! It took Jade nearly 5 hours to find Fatty's split basketball of a pussy.

...I have no words. "Split basketball of a pussy" is the absolute pinnacle of this thread.

Her assertion of 5 hour sex sessions is enough to make me want to put a bullet in my skull. I miss when we could just banish the fupa diddling stuff to the sex thread

 

[tzgnilki]

Guise its obvious. With the time it takes to get her to waddle to the bedroom, pull and scoot herself on the bed, set up the car jack to lift her belly, and find her genitals in the mass of thigh, fupa, and labia, a five hour sex session means she got to have three minutes of what I guess you can call coitus.

the only thing to 100% convince me she is a LAH.. 5hrs without food