Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
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"I got flustered. It's Julia Childs, you know how that is."
No Jack, I have no fucking clue what you mean. I'm tempted to make a horny joke, but I'm honestly just confused.

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"Half pound of spaghetti"
Sure thing Jack.

"The favorite thing about the dish is the sun dried tomatoes. They're packed in oil, they taste delicious"
Jack is the only person I've heard use oily as a positive descriptor.
 
Jack thinks Marco Polo invented pasta. Amazing. How about doing 5 seconds of research on your phone before hitting record, fatty?
He for sure said that to try and get someone, anyone to interact with his channel in a positive way.

The amount of errors he made in this video would have prompted anyone else to re film it. Wrong/missing ingredients and he fucked up the already gross garlic.

What I learned is to use shitty dried herbs and canned olives to really bring out that lazy man flavor.
 
He didn’t even drain the canned olives properly. The spaghetti was cooked too long or he let it sit for too long and it coagulated. Bagged parm? Really. Can’t be assed to grate Parmegiano Reggiano? Also, he burned the fuck out of the walnuts.

Fuck me. This is a total fail.

The side dish comment is exactly why he’s 500 lbs. He has absolutely no idea about portion sizes.
 
He didn’t even drain the canned olives properly. The spaghetti was cooked too long or he let it sit for too long and it coagulated. Bagged parm? Really. Can’t be assed to grate Parmegiano Reggiano? Also, he burned the fuck out of the walnuts.

Fuck me. This is a total fail.

The side dish comment is exactly why he’s 500 lbs. He has absolutely no idea about portion sizes.
We still have half of month of Julia Childs recipes to go. Each dish he makes of hers gets worse than the last. I can't wait to see what abominations he has waiting for us.
 
Take Jack’s advice; stretch your dollars.

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In my opinion, those purchases aren't even that bad. Yeah, they certainly aren't frugal, but it definitely could be worse. I mean maybe my sense of spending is warped after seeing amberlynn hoarding and spending $45 on plastic soap bottles from amazon. They are wants, but they are not completly pointless wants (like amberlynn).

Also, hes still cooking with fucking nonstick which upsets me. Maybe he could buy nice carbon steel pans instead of a brand new m1 macbook
 
Since we know that Jack pregames his day with children's television, he should have tuned into Mr. Rogers while he was preparing this one. Julia teaches literal children how to make spaghetti Marco Polo, and explains that you should use steaming hot spaghetti, red pimento, finely chopped olives, tuna in oil, fresh parsley, and swiss cheese for this dish. She even teaches the class how to maintain a wooden cutting board and use chopsticks, skills I know Jack has yet to grasp. Her recipe is most likely simplified for her audience, but it's pretty far from what Jack's presenting.

 
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let's see where fatty stole this recipe from

*google search for julia child's spaghetti marco polo*

and it's the first result

recipe and cooking instructions once again stolen word for word

I found this one as well. Jack could at least do the fucking basic groundwork and look for her cookbooks online, takes about a minute if you do it right and he actually would have an easier time than I would considering we use different units in my neck of the woods. Julia wrote a lot of stuff and this lardass can't do the bare minimum to properly show his supposed respect for her by going to the right source instead of a random website!

Not demeaning the guys on the website, I'm willing to bet they are more skilled than Jack could ever hope to be, just pointing out that he can't even follow his own guidelines right!

Since we know that Jack pregames his day with children's television, he should have tuned into Mr. Rogers while he was preparing this one. Julia teaches literal children how to make spaghetti Marco Polo, and explains that you should use steaming hot spaghetti, red pimento, finely chopped olives, tuna in oil, fresh parsley, and swiss cheese for this dish. She even teaches the class how to maintain a wooden cutting board and use chopsticks, skills I know Jack has yet to grasp. Her recipe is most likely simplified for her audience, but it's pretty far from what Jack's presenting.
Jack always takes the "lazy man" path with fucking everything, except that with cooking websites it can be very hit or miss. I've seen guys that could pull off some really good recipes, and others that basically bastardized the works of others. Usually, going for the source is always the better option as you might land either in a competent cook's channel/website or on a Cooking with Jack, I must admit I have a bit of bias and I usually go for older ladies cooking as they usually know their stuff and have some granny charisma lol!
 
jack's mental decline is really peaking. those tomatoes/peppers changed names about 3 times by the end of the video

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1:35 "sun-dried tomatoes"
4:48 "roasted red peppers"
6:08 "sun-roasted tomatoes"
7:42 "roasted red.... uh.... tomatoes" (at this point I think Jack realized he fucked up)
 
And surprise surprise yet again copy and paste "his" recipe and you find it again word for word

And that recipe is in turn adapted from this recipe: https://kalynskitchen.com/delightful-spaghetti-recipe-to-remember/ which itself is a modified version of the one in From Julia Child's Kitchen which can be had for $10 on Amazon. So this is just a strokebrained version of an adaptation of a modification of Julia Child's recipe.
 
It looks like Julia Child made this recipe with Mr. Rogers. It was meant to be an easy recipe for kids. Tells the kids to get adults to do all the chopping for them.

This seems like a very 50s recipe. Jack didn't add the canned tuna Julia originally used. But I don't think this appeals to modern tastes at all.

Amazing that Jack even fucks up recipes meant for toddlers, though.
 
It looks like Julia Child made this recipe with Mr. Rogers. It was meant to be an easy recipe for kids. Tells the kids to get adults to do all the chopping for them.

This seems like a very 50s recipe. Jack didn't add the canned tuna Julia originally used. But I don't think this appeals to modern tastes at all.

Amazing that Jack even fucks up recipes meant for toddlers, though.
Yeah, tastes have changed since Julia Child's heyday and it's fine to adapt recipes to modern tastes. But Jack is pretending that he's doing real Julia Child recipes while not disclosing that he's not using original source material, and making his own retarded changes on top of that (throwing dried basil and parsley into burnt garlic olive oil, what the fuck)
 
Even though he hates soda, he likes this. I'm guessing it's because of the Jack Daniel's brand, given his fixation with anything that bears his name. More of a bonus that Jack Daniel's is Tennessee whiskey. For once he isn't lying when he says he can barely lift his arm.

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Original:
Archive (720p):
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I think my favorite bit out of this is that he actually tried to do something I don't see him do intentionally: he tried to toast his herbs. Though you aren't supposed to do it for more than a few seconds, similar to how you only put in garlic near the end since that shit burns so fast it's not funny.

Though him being special needs and trying to force tomatoes to take the role of red peppers is in the running to unseat that. Reminds me of when he fucked up and confused cornichons with corn since it has corn in the words. Same energy, and shows that Jack would rather put more effort into lying and spiting haters than he would actually doing what he pretends is his job and passion. Real pathetic there.
 
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