Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[captkrisma]

HOPE is wearing a harness for the next step in the grift. Next step is HOPE becoming a "service animal" so Jack can take her into places like Universal

 

[Laughingjoke2]

Hope looks damn near identical to my dog growing up and she was a Cocker Spaniel (Mother) & Rat Terrier (Father) and I saw the mother.

Hope is a mutt and definitely not a beagle.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Jack's been on a tear today. Get your s ready.

Newsflash - it's hot in the summer, especially if you're stuck in a beachball of insulating adipose.

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Reverend Dr. Jack has graduated from the Facebook theology program:

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A reminder that Jack is ALWAYS RIGHT:

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Reece steps up to start the inevitable angy DFE.
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Jack inches ever closer to just telling us how he really feels about those black people:

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My God, he's still going:

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This faggot is all over the place today. And yet he still sounds like a complete retard at the same time. Impressive.

It could be if someone like Cowboy Kent did a series. In fact, he has done some, like here where he does credit to her Beef Bourguignon.

He doesn't appear to have been copystruck for it, since he is not a fat tub of disgrace and didn't defile the name of Julia Child.

Incidentally if you were to use anything for which you do need permission it isn't exactly difficult to do:

https://juliachildfoundation.org/permissions/

That said, probably the most important words on that page are: "With rare exceptions, the Foundation does not grant permission for the use of Julia’s name and/or likeness for commercial activities."

I didn't post it even though it's trivial to find because I didn't want to encourage weening which is a moot point now.

Cowboy Kent is awesome and Jagoff isn't.

Get you... chicken?

View attachment 3391523

I'm guessing French Onion Soup. That looks like pieces of bread slathered with groyer cheese, parmesan with extra cellulose and put under the broiler.

i see jack is still seething over getting scammed by whoever sold them HOPE and claimed she was a purebred beagle

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Yeah genius ALL beagles have webbed feet. It's a trait of the breed not this one particular one.

This is how I think the call went:
Mushbrain: "I hear online that my dog isn't a real beagle."
Dog seller: "(*fuck somebody spilled the beans*) Oh no, that's a beagle but a different breed. She's a... Web Footed Beagle. Very special dog.
Mushbrain: "I knew it!"

 

[AnOminous]

Jack is exactly the kind of asshole that if he ever figures out he got sold a bunk beagle, he'll blame the dog for it rather than himself for being a fat gullible moron.

 

[RainwaterDrop]

I'd like to know why too. Mushbrain clearly doesn't walk her and I personally doubt Big T does either. They have a fenced in yard so it's not like they're latching her to a tree like I've seen in some fenceless neighborhoods. There really is no reason I can think of for her to have one.

Assuming this fucking idiot has any idea of what they're for, anyways. Tammy is the only one who can be assumed to walk the dog, and she is also the breadwinner meaning she isn't always around to care for it, leaving Jagoff the lazy as the only person left. I would assume Jack either left it after Tammy took her for a walk and/or that he has no fucking clue what the harness is for and thinks it's a dog accessory just like in video games with dog companions, like the idiotic fuck he is!

HOPE is wearing a harness for the next step in the grift. Next step is HOPE becoming a "service animal" so Jack can take her into places like Universal

The main issue I see with this is that it's too clever a scheme for Jack to think of. Guy can't do a fucking theme month on his channel right, and that is a plan that doesn't involve fooling people. The only way I could see him doing it is if he wanted to find another excuse to be an asshole to service workers when going out if they deny him entry based merely on his word!

Not that he will be going to Universal or any other parks any time soon with Mommywife putting the grip on his spending. Manbaby Jagoff is that fucking pathetic lol!

He posted a picture of a "web footed beagle". I looked for the same image and found it, but it is describe that dog as a "Beagle foxhound mix". It still doesn't even look anything like HOPE. Being a dog is the only thing HOPE has in common with a beagle.

Jagoff would rather pretend he owns a Beagle until his last breath than admit he's wrong. It's to be expected with his narcissism, people without NPD sometimes have these personal grudges over small things, let alone this fucking idiot with an ego bigger than his own gunt. Still, it's for the better that he does this, if he decided to abandon Hope over it not being a Beagle would be too low even for Jagoff in his egotistical tard raging, here's hoping!

 

[Adamska]

Update: Jagoff's JULAY IN JUNE announcement video got struck by the WGBH Educational Foundation (aka the TV station of Julia Child). Fatty is going to seethe and rage, and because of this, cease the entirety of Julay in June - calling it!

GET YOU KARMA.

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Edit: This is the archive of the copyright-struck video. Many thanks to @Neko GF our resident archivist:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

He actually got douched with his own medicine... I love it. The best part is you know he's not going to take it on the chin or accept it despite him trying the same shit himself.

I kind of do hope Jack continues this farce and fucks up a couple more recipes though. I really want to see him fuck up cassoulet, since it's right up his alley being mostly just meat and beans as a dish. I want to see how he somehow can't even do that right, despite how goddamn easy it is to make.

might be for the best because aside from the roast chicken video that has 18k views because someone posted it on r/cringe, the "julia in june" videos are struggling to even break 3k views

that is incredibly pathetic even for a dead channel like CWJ

Jack only wants to pretend to be a celebrity at this point. Even if he got 0 views he'd still perform and scream into an empty void, demanding and wanting attention.

 

[jitter]

Tammy is the only one who can be assumed to walk the dog, and she is also the breadwinner meaning she isn't always around to care for it, leaving Jagoff the lazy as the only person left.

My purebred pet theory is part of the negotiation on getting a dog was Jack convincing Tammy that the dog will motivate him to get some exercise, like how a child pleads with their parents that they will pick up dog shit, walk it, feed it, etc.

But now he whines about not feeling up to it or having to 'edit' and a dog walker is eating into their budget at around $20 a walk. Not to mention a dog groomer since Jack can't wash it.

 

[ZipDisk]

5 Movie Characters Whose Job Made No Sense.


GET BUSY CHILD
That’s Joan Lunden not Jane Pauley.
With god as my witness, even with a google image search, I think they're interchangeable.

In a reply about a year ago, I think I said I saw one video of Child and Peppin where it looked like they fucking despised each other, but I got reddit downvoted for that shit.

On the other hand, none of the media trained soulless robots ever filleted a fucking Nazi, so Julia Child got to be an awkward weirdo, and fuck whoever rushed her.

JACK AS DEATHFAT
Honestly, I don't think he is. Is he obese? Yes. Are his food choices killing him? Absolutely.
But he doesn't have that weird balloon shape.

JACK PLAYING THE PONIES
Honestly, if the IRS were the entity that finally fucked Jack to death, I'd be pleased. They're fucking bullies who target the most vulnerable, but if they get all up in his ass, it would be a good thing.

HERITAGE
Jack's dad was in the fucking wind after he nutted in that stupid cunt. (apologies for being vulgar)

THE ARK
RIP MY HEAD OFF AND FILL ME WITH BBQ SAUCE, THE ARK IS DUMB AS HELL.

GIVEME BIBLESTUDY

This should be a punishment. Like have one person who is in on the joke, and really knows their theology.

And then just have them back Jack on every stupid mental shitfart.

Unwitting Felon: Jesus did not ride a velociraptor around gallilee!
Jack: Then explain Jurassic World!
Unwitting Felon: Can I go back to having the shit beat out of me by guards?
Bible Study leader: No.



THE JACK COPYRIGHT STRIKES YOU, THEN CRIES OUT IN PAIN

Yesssssssssssssssssssss. MOAR!

I gave you the requested rainbow RTC.


COWBOY KENT

Cowboy Kent reminds me of relatives that kicked the shit out of me as a small child. I like his content but fear the man. I do wonder if we are actually related, or if it's just the trail living that made him look that way. My mom also hates him because of the resemblance.

Kent worked his ass off on that Bourguignon. It's a family favorite, and it is a hell of a job to do. When I saw he had the mashed potatoes in there, it brought back some better memories.

Even with the effort Kent put in, you see some restraint in his hand. He knows how much of each ingredient to throw in, he isn't shy, but he also doesn't fuck it up by adding too much.
And not a shreddy cheese in sight.

JOTG COFFEE

I honestly don't want to review his review.
Eat a dick Jack.
I will say he was his nasty asshole self in the first minute, bitching and complaining about things he can't understand because he's too fucking stupid.
It's a strip mall with one unit boarded shut. That's more interesting than the soap videos. Tammy slams the handicrap placard up with a quickness.
Jack loves stock art and menu TV's.
Tammy is a surly bitch, as per.
Jack pulled the absolute fucking cunt move of "surprise me" at the counter. I hope he got some windex in that drink.
Jack's shirt is especially offensive.
At least the video is under ten minutes.

JACK OF THE LANTERN

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors,

HOPE
Triple [OBJ] score.

FURTHER COFFEE SPERG
Starbucks just replaced Baskin-Robbins. It's not ice cream, it's Coffee!

 

[Adamska]

Get you... chicken?

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After much investigation with peers, a murdermap, and the lie detecting chicken, the tentative hypothesis for this atrocity is that it's a batch of breaded pork chops.

Julia never breaded hers if this is the case.

EDIT: WAIT IT'S FRENCH ONION SOUP WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHO FUCKING USES A GODDAMN BAKING TRAY AAAAAA-

 

[Aunt Carol]

Seems like Jack could settle things, once and for all, with a dog DNA test.

Not sure how accurate these things are, but it'd be 100% accurate in indicating Jack was fussed about people second-guessing his dog husbandry.

 

[rubytintedchix]

After much investigation with peers, a murdermap, and the lie detecting chicken, the tentative hypothesis for this atrocity is that it's a batch of breaded pork chops.

Julia never breaded hers if this is the case.

Jack seems to have confused the hell out of most of his unironic watchers. Even they were perplexed.

Comments from the post on his personal page:


NICEST GUY ON YOUTUBE ^^^

Comments from the post in his BoomerBook group:



It seems the winning answer is French Onion soup. This motherfucker made onion soup in a goddamned baking dish.

Reminder though that this isn’t the first time that Jacky boy tried and fucked up onion soup. At least this rendition was done in a pot on the stove.

 

[densedance]

It boggles my mind that he fucks the simple stuff up all the time by trying to be quirky. Bruh, it's a fucking Onion soup, thread it like that.

Closing my eyes & try to imagine what will be in there. Logs of Onion, maybe some lucid Garlic, Deeejon mustard, dried "French" Herbs, Stock, (maybe) Wine & last but not least a big log of questionable Bread. Oh oh, and the shredded Cheese from the 5lb bag.

 

[Whatthefuck]

In a reply about a year ago, I think I said I saw one video of Child and Peppin where it looked like they fucking despised each other, but I got reddit downvoted for that shit.

I think that Pepin just had that air about him whenever he cooked with anyone else. I can remember him cooking with Martin Yan and even his own daughter and having the same kind of attitude. I kind of get it, personally. I can't stand for anyone to be in my way in the kitchen. If I'm cooking, I'm in the zone and I have planned in my mind what needs to happen and when and woe betide anyone who interrupts that flow. The fact that he cooked with her was his acknowledgement that he appreciated her and her expertise or at least enthusiasm.
You're right, though, she was a fucking weirdo, but she fought Nazis so I think we'll give her a pass. She one of our beloved eccentrics. At the end of the day, Jack is an affront to everything Julia held dear. A sincere love for cooking. An interest in ingredients and where they're sourced. Using delicacy and diligence in the method. Jack could never.

 

[AnOminous]

Reminder though that this isn’t the first time that Jacky boy tried and fucked up onion soup. At least this rendition was done in a pot on the stove.

Baking it in a mini crock pot is pretty common. So is using parmesan as one cheese, mozzarella and provolone are pretty common, but the idiot dumped a bunch of sawdust directly on top. Parmesan, especially that sawdust crap, doesn't melt and he has a solid layer of it on top so the other cheese doesn't melt and brown either. At the end it looks like utter shit.

Also they cut the bread into large croutons, don't just dump slices of bread in whole. But Jack can't do that with one arm.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Seems like Jack could settle things, once and for all, with a dog DNA test.
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I wouldn’t be at all surprised if HOPE was a mix of like 4 or 8 different breeds. Can’t wait for that thing to grow to be a huge mutt laying 2 lb turds in that overgrown backyard of theirs.

Might luck out though because they may not have to pick it up very often — HOPE will.
*gag*

 

[Whatthefuck]

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if HOPE was a mix of like 4 or 8 different breeds. Can’t wait for that thing to grow to be a huge mutt laying 2 lb turds in that overgrown backyard of theirs.

Might luck out though because they may not have to pick it up very often — HOPE will.
*gag*

She's adorable, though. I love a good mutt. If he'd just admit that she's a loveable mutt then it's over and done. Mutts have the best personalities, not that this poor girl has a chance to express her personality. She's clearly a working dog of some sort. Imagine how fucking bored that poor thing is. At that age, and that mix of breeds I bet she is full of energy and deserves to exhaust it. Fuck Jack. Absolutely fuck him. I'd take her in a heartbeat. I bet she'd be such a good girl given the right training. She seems like she's intelligent, I'd even give her some terrier in that mix. They're very smart. I feel so bad for her.

 

[Kosher Salt]

I know y'all are ragging Jack for making French Onion Soup in a baking dish when it's normally baked in individual portions, but have y'all stopped to consider that maybe Jack did make an individual portion in that baking dish?

 

[AnOminous]

I know y'all are ragging Jack for making French Onion Soup in a baking dish when it's normally baked in individual portions, but have y'all stopped to consider that maybe Jack did make an individual portion in that baking dish?

The baking dish doesn't have the lip that the crock it's customary to make it in has, so it doesn't get the browned crispy mozz crust it's supposed to get that is so delicious (and so awful to scrub off if you have ever been a dishwasher somewhere that served it). It's more that he did it completely wrong so that it didn't end up with its signature features, despite it legitimately being one of the few "fancy" dishes even a one-armed moron like Jackoff should be able to do correctly.

A lunch lady dumping it from an industrial size can into a vat and throwing croutons on it would be a better approximation.

 

[Aaway]

this is for sure gonna trigger the hell out of fatty

 

[Whatthefuck]

this is for sure gonna trigger the hell out of fatty

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He's too much of a pussy to actually respond, but I'm sure it hit the mark.