Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 198 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,395
In search of the next gimmick that will definitely revive his dead channel, August is now officially dedicated to meat and carb slop. RIP keeeeetoo

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And this is now Jagoff's excuse to eat stuff that he's not supposed to because it's not KETOOO meaning it's not "healthy".

You know you're in a bad church when your pastor uses the lack of Taco Bell to prove a point.
 
During our vacation this past week, I got bored on the ride and started digging more into some of Jack’s older videos. I saw at some point, although I do not recall what video, that Jack has a Roku channel. Did we know this?

Screenshots from the Roku channel store:

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BTW Yes, it’s still available for download. I pulled it down when we got back home.

When you go into the app, it looks like videos are populated based on his playlists, although it’s only as recent as last year’s videos. Did Jack stop paying the app developer?

Btw, the App Dev is AlterEgo Digital and can be found here: https://alterego.digital/en/about/

There is no pricing or anything like that listed for any services that they offer. It looks like they want you to call for that.

The app rating seems rather high for a Jack creation as well. 238 5.0 positive reviews? Sure Jan.

Also to note: there are ads that play during the videos, but they appear to come from the app platform itself and not YouTube. I think someone is getting money for plays here, but I doubt it’s Jack.

Edit: noticed a spelling error.
This was covered in a live chat. Some company approached Jack.
 
Since Jack hasn't posted an Eye to Eye in a long time, I thought I'd give his chosen house of worship a go. Long Hollow's youtube channel posts recordings of all of their services, so I (at 2x speed) sat through this morning's 8:00 service as that's the one Jack seems to attend and because I chose suffering today. The video starts with a pre-show lead-in with two guys playing with hot dogs and fireworks, then some mindlessly repetitious rock worship music, and finally an ad for some upcoming summer event presented by this man:

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30 minutes in, Robby finally takes the stage. He opens with a celebration of Roe v. Wade's overturning, assures the listening audience that they will redouble their efforts to support women with children they would have aborted, and assures us that if you have had an abortion, everyone in that room still loves you (I guess Rob doesn't watch Jack's videos). Moving into the heart of his message, Robby focuses on investment and how important it is to invest your life into meaningful things with your time, treasure, and talents. He exhorts the viewers to not be proud in their wealth, focus on God as the gift-giver, and know that the things of the earth are ultimately meaningless as the only things of value should be the intangible treasures of Heaven. Heart-tugging music begins to swell and he calls for everyone to be generous in all things. The offering plate is passed (what convenient timing!), and the service finishes with another painful worship song.

I have to amend my initial post - Jack ACTUALLY isn't completely insane in this instance. Robby does make reference to taco bell's Mexican pizza at the tail end of a litany of historic bad investments to illustrate the reason why we should invest in spiritual treasures. The paraphrased segment is this: "They told us to invest in the stock market, but that became too volatile; they told us to invest in gold, but that didn't pan out; they told us to invest in Bitcoin, and I guess some people still are; and they told us to invest in cryptocurrency, and now that's not a safe investment; they told us to buy a Mexican pizza at Taco Bell, but when you went to get it, it wasn't there."

I'll stand by my disdainful bewilderment that THAT is what Jack pulled out of a 30 minute sermon, but I don't want to pass along incorrect information.

 
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Since Jack hasn't posted an Eye to Eye in a long time, I thought I'd give his chosen house of worship a go. Long Hollow's youtube channel posts recordings of all of their services, so I (at 2x speed) sat through this morning's 8:00 service as that's the one Jack seems to attend and because I chose suffering today. The video starts with a pre-show lead-in with two guys playing with hot dogs and fireworks, then some mindlessly repetitious rock worship music, and finally an ad for some upcoming summer event presented by this man:

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30 minutes in, Robby finally takes the stage. He opens with a celebration of Roe v. Wade's overturning, assures the listening audience that they will redouble their efforts to support women with children they would have aborted, and assures us that if you have had an abortion, everyone in that room still loves you (I guess Rob doesn't watch Jack's videos). Moving into the heart of his message, Robby focuses on investment and how important it is to invest your life into meaningful things with our time, treasure, and talents. He exhorts the viewers to not be proud in their wealth, focus on God as the gift-giver, and know that the things of the earth are ultimately meaningless as the only value should be the intangible gifts of God. Heart-tugging music begins to swell and he calls for everyone to be generous. The offering plate is passed (what convenient timing!). The service finishes with another painful worship song.

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS JACK TALKING ABOUT WITH THE TACO BELL PIZZA

Jack was probably thinking about Taco Bell for the whole sermon and completely missed any messages about being a better, more tolerant person and not placing too much value on material possessions, like an ever-growing graveyard of smokers and bacon cookers you may have.
 
Good christ. I mean I'm all for fusion cuisine and experimenting, especially if you have a cook that knows more than pre-school kitchen technique, but eggs Benedict are practically a perfect dish unaltered and it's a crime to fuck with it to this extent.
Unless you could actually make the real dish, you have no business messing around with it.

Make a real Hollandaise sauce Jack you pathetic faggot. Poach an egg you worm. Do it.
My comfort food is Il Timpano. Ball's in your court, Jack.
My comfort food is cyanide. When consumed by Jack.
 
Watching him struggle to do basic things with his one working arm is just sad at this point. Why is he still bothering to keep this show going. He really needs to retire.
Nah. He should continue this three-ring circus act for as long as humanly possible. It’s easily some of the best content, when you’re viewing for the purpose of being entertained by the morbidity. You just wonder what’s going to go wrong next. Rest assured, you’re entertaining us, Jack. But it’s for all the worst reasons.


if you want to see jack constantly get dunked on, check out his twitter. it's surprising he hasn't made it private yet, or maybe he isn't aware that he can?

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Don’t encourage him.


🚨🚩
FULL STOP

Jack Scalfani has removed spice from a recipe.

We all know he used to add spice to make sure tammy didn't eat his food. Replacing cayenne with paprika is 100% Jack trying to appease tammy.
I wonder if that’s a recently added clause to the deal- he has to prepare the evening meal in exchange for financial underwriting vis-à-vis CWJ. In other words, “make yourself useful, lardass.” Tammy probably put this requirement in place to encourage/make it even easier for him, since he could always kill two birds with one stone by getting the evening meal and an upload for his (totally legit) job out of it. Will she now be starting to influence which recipes are done butchered on the show?
 
maybe he removed spice because his bowel issues are finally catching up to him. No way anyone can eat how he does and not have intestinal damage
Jack's digestive tract is obviously impervious to anything he shoves down his maw. Besides, taking spice out of his diet would imply he recognizes he's eating unhealthily and wants to make changes to improve his health, which is as likely as HOPE being a beagle.
 
the only thing that has anything to do with hope is that I HOPE the good dog gets to taste some high-fat stroke corpse tbh. ye forbidden milkbone
HOPE getting a taste of Jack meat while he’s still alive would be preferable, though. Think Isabelle Dinoire.

Imagine HOPE’s mistreatment causing her to develop a radicalized hatred towards Jack? After a number of shitty years under that roof, she decides to go out in a blaze of glory like Thelma & Louise, mutilating and killing Jack before attacking and getting shot by responding police.

Euthanasia would be a kinder thing to subject her to at this point. What an existence she lives in that house.
:stress:


Jack liked his post so much he posted it to the same page twice.

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Step aside Keto Bear, this gastrosexual has a new main squeeze.

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Nicest guy on Facebook:

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The very keto-friendly nutrition details for the BARBACOA QUESADILLA EGGS BENEDICT:

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And with the daily carb intake capped at <50g for those on Keto…waaaiiit a minute…I’m starting to think he’s not really on Keto!


In search of the next gimmick that will definitely revive his dead channel, August is now officially dedicated to meat and carb slop. RIP keeeeetoo

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Good Lord. He’s going to die soon, right?

Uber-autistic to not save this for the fall/winter season.
 
So he ran into a fan of moistcrit1kal or AugustTheDuck. His descriptions of people are just like his reviews, great guy great family. Referring to a pre-teen as guy instead of young man was a weird choice of words. Also the hashtag is Jack On The Ego, great spelling dumbass.
#jackontheego is quite fitting, although my favorite is still #jackontheghost

looks like @AnOminous has another one for the soy face thread
 
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