Grand Jury speculation thread

[TestTubePuppy]

It's time for everyone to pull out their crystal balls and rub them. Here is my prediction.

Chris will be offered a plea deal... Plead guilty to incest, be put on the sexual offender's list, released on time served with a suspended maximum sentence and probation. Terms of probation- establishing his own residence away from 49 BC and no contact with Barb. If he doesn't accept the deal, they will add rape and abuse of an elder charges and go to trial asking for prison time.

Essentially, plead guilty and walk today with a new life, or hold on to fantasy and get the book thrown at you.

 

[D_Tractor]

That depends. If they don't have any actual evidence of rape and Barb herself denies it, or just refuses to testify, it would be nearly impossible to prove and the DA would just be wasting everyone's time.

A DA will rarely bring a case that is so weak that it can't even get past a grand jury, hence the saying that a grand jury will indict a ham sandwich. To a certain extent, the criticism of the grand jury system as just a rubber stamp for prosecutorial discretion is accurate, but it actually does weed out the occasional unfathomably bogus case.

I think Heilberg would actually have tried for an outright win if the DA didn't have Chris dead to rights on the one count he's currently charged with.

They would have dropped the charges unless Chris confessed to a detective or they found his navy in Barbie's china.

 

[Philosophy Phil]

Chris will be crucified tomorrow, just like he was 2000 years ago.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

It's time for everyone to pull out their crystal balls and rub them. Here is my prediction.

Chris will be offered a plea deal... Plead guilty to incest, be put on the sexual offender's list, released on time served with a suspended maximum sentence and probation. Terms of probation- establishing his own residence away from 49 BC and no contact with Barb. If he doesn't accept the deal, they will add rape and abuse of an elder charges and go to trial asking for prison time.

Essentially, plead guilty and walk today with a new life, or hold on to fantasy and get the book thrown at you.

Sexual offender's list is too much IMO, at least for a plea deal.

I think a deal for time served with maybe mandatory attending of a sex offender course so Chris can understand what he did was wrong () and if Barb is staying with relatives and she's deemed not to be fully mentally competent a restraining order too.

 

[FamicomGorby]

Chris will be crucified tomorrow, just like he was 2000 years ago.

"Forgive them Robertchu! They know not what they do!"

Then the man in the pickle suit pierces Chris' side with a spear and Chris screams out "JULLLAAAAAAAY!"

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

i'm gonna laugh when he gets back to the sonichu temple

 

[I'm not an egirl]

Here's hoping Chris decides to correct the judge about his name being Jesus.

I just really want to know if he can return to 14BC or not.

According to Chris it does.

I might just be retarded, but does he unironically believe he's Jesus Christ or some shit of cwcville?
I know he like writes himself as some sort of God or creator of the sonichu universe but I don't know how far that goes, the only digestible form of Chris lore for me is Geno's documentary.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Right about now it's about to be 9PM EST. Jail's closed, and Chris is asleep, dreaming about his return to the temple and can't wait to see his mom victim toys again.

I might just be retarded, but does he unironically believe he's Jesus Christ or some shit of cwcville?
I know he like writes himself as some sort of God or creator of the sonichu universe but I don't know how far that goes, the only digestible form of Chris lore for me is Geno's documentary.

It's just one big pretend game for Chris. If the internet or video is involved, that's when he plays god; the rest of the time, he's just boring old Chris.

 

[LazloChalos]

My prediction: the teflon retard rides again!

 

[My Name is Mud]

I might just be retarded, but does he unironically believe he's Jesus Christ or some shit of cwcville?
I know he like writes himself as some sort of God or creator of the sonichu universe but I don't know how far that goes, the only digestible form of Chris lore for me is Geno's documentary.

Oh sweet summer child...

 

[JanuaryViolet]

I just really want to know if he can return to 14BC or not.

Not at all likely. It's probably a condition of his release that he never go back there . If he does, it's Trespass 1, and he goes to the lockup to think about it until he gets arraigned. If he tries to get in , whether the place is vacant or not, that's breaking and entering, which is another step up from trespass. I also believe he will never be allowed alone in the same room with Barb, if he is allowed anywhere near her at all.
Can they make these conditions of probation? Hell yes they can.

 

[True Gunt Radio]

It depends on how the deal is worded. You can have a deal with a nolo or an Alford as long as that was what was in the deal. Somehow I think the prosecution will not be okay with that in this case though.



Chris' deal had him plead guilty for the Gamestop macing incident. For the Snyder case, the deal let him make an Alford plea.



Once you've completed any probation and the case is finalized, you're free to recant. Unless you had a terrible no-prosecute agreement in the deal that doesn't stop them from bringing new charges, in which case you have to wait until the statute of limitations expires.

If Chris gets released and is allowed to return to an empty 14bc does the Court have anything set up to help him get back? Like a taxi ride or something if he's released and doesn't have cash or is he walking there?

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Not at all likely. It's probably a condition of his release that he never go back there . If he does, it's Trespass 1, and he goes to the lockup to think about it until he gets arraigned. If he tries to get in , whether the place is vacant or not, that's breaking and entering, which is another step up from trespass. I also believe he will never be allowed alone in the same room with Barb, if he is allowed anywhere near her at all.
Can they make these conditions of probation? Hell yes they can.

Chris got a trespass charge once. Chris will go there just to get arrested again because he's Chris. He'll have more reason to because that's his temple and he's entitled to it. It probably won't go well with him. If he still thinks what he did to Barb wasn't wrong, at this point, Chris likes to thumb up his nose to the law. I personally think Chris didn't learn how to conduct himself while at Western, and it will be a miracle that he goes through the hearing without mentioning anything on sonichu or Jesus.

 

[D_Tractor]

Chris will be crucified tomorrow, just like he was 2000 years ago.

"My lawyer's name is DAVID L. HEILBERG, possibly a Jew considering his last name. Nothing bad about the Jews, but, just throwing it out there."

 

[My Name is Mud]

"My lawyer's name is DAVID L. HEILBERG, possibly a Jew considering his last name. Nothing bad about the Jews, but, just throwing it out there."

Imagine if the judge presiding over the case is some Italian guy named something like Pontius too...

(do we actually know who the judge will be? lmao)

 

[Die Oberste Direktive]

My prediction: the teflon retard rides again!

100% Ain't no way Chris will actually see punishment for his crimes. It's like people haven't seen the last 12 years of Christory. He's sat retardedly through court proceedings before. It's not like he fucking sperges out 24/7. He's HIGH-FUNCTIONING, GodJesus damnit!

 

[brahsparagus]

If Chris gets released and is allowed to return to an empty 14bc does the Court have anything set up to help him get back? Like a taxi ride or something if he's released and doesn't have cash or is he walking there?

MMmm Branchland Court... home... at least uh it was... uh before those DANGED TROLLS fucked errythang up

 

[JanuaryViolet]

Chris got a trespass charge once. Chris will go there just to get arrested again because he's Chris. He'll have more reason to because that's his temple and he's entitled to it. It probably won't go well with him. If he still thinks what he did to Barb wasn't wrong, at this point, Chris likes to thumb up his nose to the law. I personally think Chris didn't learn how to conduct himself while at Western, and it will be a miracle that he goes through the hearing without mentioning anything on sonichu or Jesus.

Most people think trespassing isn't a big deal. It can be. If you have been told to not go to a certain place (for instance, a place where you have been caught shoplifting) and you do, that's a misdemeanor, and you will at least be somewhat inconvenienced by dealing with the consequences. It's enough get picked up, especially if you are on probation (which I think in Chris' case is likely). In that case, it's a probation violation, and they look a lot harder at probation violations than misdemeanors. I really pity whoever will be assigned as his probation officer.
I should add that the focus of his time at Western was not so much 'how to behave in court', but rather making sure he understood the charges and what was happening. A few hints on how to behave are generally included in that, but it's mostly ensuring that he understands the process. Depending on how he behaved in the ward, he may have had some form of group therapy. (Just imagine that.)

 

[Hogar Grupal]

"My lawyer's name is DAVID L. HEILBERG, possibly a Jew considering his last name. Nothing bad about the Jews, but, just throwing it out there."

I always wanted to know where Chris' anti-Semitism came from. I know it started with Snyder (even though that's a German name). He had to have learned that from TV or Bob.

 

[Die Oberste Direktive]

I always wanted to know where Chris' anti-Semitism came from. I know it started with Snyder (even though that's a German name). He had to have learned that from TV or Bob.

I think Bob came from the Pro-Israel generation. I'm sure it came from Chris taking Family Guy jokes too literally.