Grand Jury speculation thread

[StarDog]

Very slight powerlevel: I am Ronnie Davis, the director of the United States Marshal Service. I can’t get into details, but we’ve been asked to allocate all available resources for a prisoner transfer today from a family court in central Virginia to ADX Florence.

 

[Cybertonia]

Very slight powerlevel: I am Ronnie Davis, the director of the United States Marshal Service. I can’t get into details, but we’ve been asked to allocate all available resources for a prisoner transfer today from a family court in central Virginia to ADX Florence.

I'm actually joe biden and I'm gonna pardon Chris today, he is a national treasure and an inspiration to autistic spergs americans

 

[My Name is Mud]

Idk if he can access his youtube or if the ween who made the video changed the password, but his twitter is still up so I can see him camping at McDonald's, filling his guts with much needed junk food and firing off tweet after tweet of insanity ramblings and anathemas against Null/the trolls.

The fat and/or sugar rush he's gonna get from all the junk food that he was so painfully denied in jail is gonna go straight to his fat head and result in him either gaining a moment of lucidity, or dive further into tard madness.

 

[Idk man]

In a perfect world, the court would enforce the Computer and Internet Restrictions on Chris, or make him stay in jail.
But instead we will probably get "homeless goddess logs" with Chris vlogging how he begs for money on the streets.

 

[WolfKiller]

I'm actually joe biden and I'm gonna pardon Chris today, he is a national treasure and an inspiration to autistic spergs americans

You should have pretended to be Governor Youngkin, the guy who can pardon him for a state crime.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

Whether he's out today or not, he'll be back in by Christmas, if that.

A Chandler Family Christmas Part II: The Reckoning.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Very slight powerlevel: I am Ronnie Davis, the director of the United States Marshal Service. I can’t get into details, but we’ve been asked to allocate all available resources for a prisoner transfer today from a family court in central Virginia to ADX Florence.

Isn't this how the Sonic the Hedgehog movie starts? Somebody warn Dr Eggman I mean Null

 

[Pointless Sperg]

You should have pretended to be Governor Youngkin, the guy who can pardon him for a state crime.

I think that was part of the joke, since Chris believes that Biden can pardon him.

 

[WolfKiller]

I think that was part of the joke, since Chris believes that Biden can pardon him.

I didn't catch that, it must have been from earlier. Beg pardon.

 

[Tammy Sawyer]

Very slight powerlevel: I am Ronnie Davis, the director of the United States Marshal Service. I can’t get into details, but we’ve been asked to allocate all available resources for a prisoner transfer today from a family court in central Virginia to ADX Florence.

Glowy confirmed

Today’s the fucking day. Who wants to take bets? I’m putting a lot of money on mention of being the messiah... as well as any mention of fictional material. Is this the day the dimensions merge, lads? Reality and Chris’ pathetic existence colliding to form a black hole of autistic spergury?

If it was a proper trial and he takes the stand, maybe. But since it's a bench hearing his lawyer will probably do everything to make sure Chris says as little as possible

In a perfect world, the court would enforce the Computer and Internet Restrictions on Chris, or make him stay in jail.
But instead we will probably get "homeless goddess logs" with Chris vlogging how he begs for money on the streets.

Just like Terry, but with more obesity and less intelligence

 

[Professor Iris]

Electric Chair Saga!

 

[Ken_Penders69]

What the fuck is going on why don't we know anything. It's 07/28/22 today's the trial. Is chris going back into jail or is he walking free I wanna know

 

[Karen]

I agree. Rather than Chris pulling a straight b&e, at most we would probably just see him scream sobbing at the threshold of 14BC about the occupants defying the word of the Lord.

Maybe he can live in the crawlspace with Casper the ghost.

 

[Pyra]

What the fuck is going on why don't we know anything. It's 07/28/22 today's the trial. Is chris going back into jail or is he walking free I wanna know

it'll likely take a few more hours to find that out, unfortunately. every other time it's taken until afternoon to find out the case got continued or something.

 

[My Name is Mud]

Electric Chair Saga!

Electric Hedgehog Pokemon Chair Saga*

 

[biguglyboy]

Electric Chair Saga!

Chris' immunity to all electric attacks will then mean he gets to walk free

 

[My Name is Mud]

What the fuck is going on why don't we know anything. It's 07/28/22 today's the trial. Is chris going back into jail or is he walking free I wanna know

It's a hearing, not a full-on trial. We don't know what time it will happen, and we don't know how long it will take. It's gonna take a few hours before we know for sure, unless Chris gets completely off scot-free and has immediate access to the Internet and announces his return to the world himself.

 

[The Joker]

I'm actually joe biden and I'm gonna pardon Chris today, he is a national treasure and an inspiration to autistic spergs americans

I'm actually Jace W Conners, a future US marine that was given clearance to escort Chris to his new safe house. Hes being declared innocent and sent back home to the temple with restitution from the government after his false imprisonment.

 

[REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!]

unless Chris gets completely off scot-free and has immediate access to the Internet and announces his return to the world himself.

That wouldn't actually surprise me.

 

[Dr. Boxxy]

It's a hearing, not a full-on trial. We don't know what time it will happen, and we don't know how long it will take. It's gonna take a few hours before we know for sure, unless Chris gets completely off scot-free and has immediate access to the Internet and announces his return to the world himself.

Let's just hope we don't get another continuance.