Grand Jury speculation thread

[Pickle Inspector]

Wouldn't his time served basically force them to charge him with a felony? It'll be over a year in the clink before he finally gets any closure on this.

To quote a news article when Chris was arrested:

Under Virginia law, incest is a Class 5 felony and carries "a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, or in the discretion of the jury or the court trying the case without a jury, confinement in jail for not more than 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both."

However, Chan could yet be facing more prison time with Greene County Sheriffs Office stating "this is an ongoing investigation with additional charges pending."

And he’s already been in a year so potentially he could be released any day now if it’s only incest and the criminal system is lenient.

Theyre gonna have to source rednecks if they want anything close to a fair and impartial jury. That's how fucked chris is.

Even they‘d become A-logs and say Chris gives incest partaking hicks a bad name.

 

[UFOCrashTestDummy]

Imagine if Chris is convicted of a felonious sex offense and has to sign up for the sex offender registry.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Redditors and Discord kittens joining. THERE IS NOTHING TO FEATURE. A NORMAL PERSON USING THIS SITE THAT DOES NOT FOLLOW CHRIS HAS NO REASON TO READ THIS FUCKING THREAD. Chris is awaiting a Grand Jury decision, what the fuck do they need to see?

A summer ago it was the same thing. Redditors, discord kittens, even fucking normies who wanted to chime in their two cents on a situation they barley understood.

 

[bussy mafia]

Chris in February : "I'm going home" *goes to mental hospital*

Chris now: "I'm going home" *gets a fucking felony*

he should write biden and ask to be extradited to the holy city of jerusalem

 

[Aegeus]

The obligation is on the turbo tard to not stick his dick in his elderly mother.

Apparently, that was too much to ask of Chris, even though he's lived for 40 years getting hundreds of thousands of dollars of free gibs and never doing a single full day of work in his entire life.

Despite being spoiled rotten, he still couldn't avoid raping his disabled senile mom.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

Late me if you like but anyone got QR on exactly what the fuck is the current situation without reading 100 pages of contradictory sperging?

Most of us were assuming a time served misdemeanor incest conviction today, but it turns out the case is getting moved to criminal court and Chris is now facing a possible felony charge (or several) depending on if a grand jury will indict (it will).

 

[Smity Werbenjagermanjensen]

Now that Chris is going to be tried as a felon, we might legitimately be seeing a reenactment of The Green Mile with Chris playing the role of John Coffey (except with no executions and the god given powers are completely delusional obviously)

 

[Male Idiot]

Chris has only two options in prison
Go full on insane
or go catatonic

Why not both? Go full insane, push a letter out every few months, and stare at his imaginary universe all the rest.

The only obstacle to this if he gets put in with the rest of the protective custody offenders. Which will likely end up with him being sexually molested or shived, unless he manages to get in solitary.

But will he make zapping noises while a random hillbilly pedo drills his ass for medallion fragments or just let out a stress sigh and add his to act as lube?

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Not a full ten, but definitely more than a year.

All bets are off if Chris decides to unintentionally add 'contempt of court' to his charges which I'm certain he's going to do at some point.

Also, something I don't know if it's been mentioned yet or not, but doesn't Chris lose the tugboat if he's charged with a felony?

Chris does not lose the tugboat until he's convicted -- it doesn't matter what the charge is.

EDIT: He also doesn't lose it if he's let out within 30 days of conviction.

Contempt of court is mostly meant as a tool to get people to behave. The punishment is usually not severe unless it's flat out failure to appear. In district court they can't give more than ten days.

In CIRCUIT court I believe they can punish contempt by up to 6 months, but that's not really what it's for. You just slap the contempt charge on and cram them in jail to cool off without earning any time served (since you can just add it to the contempt charge).

 

[Divine right to rule]

This is going to be the lolcow trial of the century.
What are the chances that the judge allows cameras?

 

[Clock]

Wait, so if I'm reading this correctly, Chris has a good chance of being locked up in REAL hard time prison?? Not just county jail, the real big kahuna.

Fucking goddammit. If anything, I'm just pissed that we've been gypped of the long-coveted Homeless Saga. Them jail letters only keep you entertained for so long.

Kiss future Christory goodbye, I guess. I don't think even the weenest of weens is autistic enough to still be jerking themselves over him after 10 years of perpetual radio silence.

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

This is going to be the lolcow trial of the century.
What are the chances that the judge allows cameras?

0%. The last thing he wants are autistic retards being fucking nuisances outside his court.

 

[MuuMuu Bunnylips]

Hey I thought earlier that he was going to get off with a year's time served.

I can't wait for the possible Subpoena Saga.

Subpenis?

Are you tring to make this creepy?

 

[JacksonVanderbilt]

But will he make zapping noises while a random hillbilly pedo drills his ass for medallion fragments or just let out a stress sigh and add his to act as lube?

He’ll likely assume hedgehog defensive stance and render Cleetus unable to penetrate.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

This is going to be the lolcow trial of the century.
What are the chances that the judge allows cameras?

There probably won't be a trial, but they almost certainly will not allow cameras.

However since it's in circuit court now, it's far more likely that members of the public will be able to watch the proceedings in person.

 

[quidwad]

I remember it being said that if it was still a misdemeanor, he'd be out of jail on the day that marked a year since he was put in jail initially. I'm assuming that's out the window now with the charge being bumped up. Which means the Grand Jury can happen in either a few days or a few months right?

 

[SaintChristopher69]

ill be honest, i was hoping today would mark the end of the jail saga since ive grown pretty bored with it.

Yeah, hopefully the writers come up with something new.

 

[No_one]

he should write biden and ask to be extradited to the holy city of jerusalem

Or maybe a decree sanctioning the dimensional merge.
Damn, if it weren't for Biden's wranglers he'd sign it.

 

[Ass Johnson]

Wait, so if I'm reading this correctly, Chris has a good chance of being locked up in REAL hard time prison?? Not just county jail, the real big kahuna.

Fucking goddammit. If anything, I'm just pissed that we've been gypped of the long-coveted Homeless Saga. Them jail letters only keep you entertained for so long.

Kiss future Christory goodbye, I guess. I don't think even the weenest of weens is autistic enough to still be jerking themselves over him 10 years from now.

I have a feeling that the Jail letters are going to get quite interesting.

 

[I raped a dog 2day]

/sigh okay let’s try watching what actually happens. When they found Bard she was rushed to the Hospital where she spent weeks. They don’t need her testimony for anything. Guaranteed some sharp cognitive decline is among her diagnosis. Plus they have the condition she was found in.

And if she’s suffering a cognitive decline, and Chris sticks his dick in it, while knowing this, it’s a form of rape. Even if she asks for it. Statutory Rape isn’t just for kids. The obligation is on the turbo tard to not stick his dick in his elderly mother.

/sigh okay let’s try watching what actually happens. When they found Bard she was rushed to the Hospital where she spent weeks. They don’t need her testimony for anything. Guaranteed some sharp cognitive decline is among her diagnosis. Plus they have the condition she was found in.

And if she’s suffering a cognitive decline, and Chris sticks his dick in it, while knowing this, it’s a form of rape. Even if she asks for it. Statutory Rape isn’t just for kids. The obligation is on the turbo tard to not stick his dick in his elderly mother.

You’re probably right. I’m mostly just spitballing about how his lawyer is going to try and argue his case. Plus, you just know they’re going to try and use the autism card.