Distorted realities have always been my cup of tea. -- Virginia Woolf
May I introduce you to the amberverse? - Me
ozempic side effects I'm experiencing, homemade lentil soup, & walk with me | vlog 8 - August 12, 2022
HELLO!
Rather aggressive greeting before the terrible intro.
It's morning in the amberverse. But not really! Hamber doesn't get up before noon unless she has a fake appointment with an oncologist, sucker. What does the night hold for this totally-not-a-weight-loss-channel?
Ah, slop soup. Taco lentil soup and I just threw up in my mouth a little typing that. As usual, it's obviously on high, at a boil strong enough to power a steam locomotive.
Listen, ChefLynn, it is not necessary to boil your food to death. It adds nothing to the meal, at all. your food is gross enough without turning it into mush.
What the? It has lentils, black beans, onions, a taco seasoning packet, corn, salsa, and she's going to add cream cheese. Ugh. This will be an 11 on the horrific scale.
She claims her My Gorlfriend, Wipey, has already "snuck a couple ladles fool" - that is not "sneaking", VocabuLynn - and she "absolutely loves it." I find that hard to believe.
Too bad Ozempic doesn't teach you anything about portion size control.
A giant bowl of slop, atop which she adds cheese, a "dallop" of light sour cream (just use Greek yogurt), avocado, and tortilla strips. That's right, cover all that nastiness. Her My Gorlfriend, Wipey's, bowl is "so eh-steh-tic". It surely look better than yours, Hamber.
Hamber is telling us "this slaps". Because why wouldn't she still be stuck in the 90s, as if someone born in 1990 recalls much of the decade? I'll never understand her or Becky's obsession for a decade that they at most remember half of, and that, I imagine, not well anyway. Whatever. Hamber is not capable of using anything but catchphrases or crutch words even at 31. Since she doesn't really read, her vocabulary is likewise stuck on stupid.
She does her usual idiotic closed eyes, chair dance as if she's dining at Alinea or something, and says that's the lentil dance. No, it's the dance at the restaurant in the sixth level of hell.
She's watching H3. Don't care. Skipping.
WASH YOUR NASTY, GREASY HAIR, YOU PIG.
"People have been wanting me to make a book club." Sure they have, Hamber. Sure they have. "I'm afraid it'll get bombarded with (air quotes) haters, if you will." STOP saying "if you will", since you have no clue as to its correct usage.
Haha, she's going to choose ten
losers randos who have to be serious - Very Serious Undertaking Here. -And they have to read fast and frequently. LOLOL, So, not you, then, Hamber. Of course she wants to do it the most difficult way as possible, on IG, instead of something easy and available, like a FB private group. Way to connect with your audience, Spamber! Skipping the rest of this nonsense.
Now August 5, or so she says. Food again! Potstickers. From a plastic bag in the freezer. ChefLynn is going to show us all how she makes her sauce. Dumping a bunch of stuff, including things that don't really go together, into a bowl, I bet. Sriacha, soy sauce, scallions, sesame seeds. "It's liddurally that easy. I'll show you." If it's that easy, why do you need to show it? That is not a "sauce". That's seasoning the potstickers, moron. Just amazing how inept she is in the kitchen.
Horrid haul. Green shirt that clings to all her fat, but she's so happy it fits over her shelf ass even though it's too small. Shirt's ugly, doesn't fit, she'll never wear it, even though she says it might be good to try it on six months from now. Haha. See, Hamber, now THAT is funny. She's trying to suck in her massive gut, and all it does is make you notice her enormous gunt and fupa. Well done.
Still hasn't washed that greasy hair, and now she's touching her sideburns. No doubt she'll touch something else and make that all greasy, too. Big Ham's House of Lentils and Lube. That'd work.
She did some household chores, and that made her want to sit down and talk about symptoms. What?
Nausea. Appetite loss. Heartburn. Claims to not get heartburn. Really? Your rampage through the snacks you insist on keeping in the house gave you heartburn not terribly long ago. Constipation. Says she goes to the bathroom less and "does number two" once a day. While I'm sure your My Gorlfriend, Wipey, is delighted by the once a day poops, that is not constipation if you're actually doing it. Why do you not understand the meaning of words, WriterLynn? Yammering about getting the "urge to binge". You do not have BED. You just want to eat and you hate that Ozempic is doing its job. "My portions are subconsciously smaller." Tell that to the giant bucket of slop you sat down with earlier in the video. Last one: "I am just super hot doing the smallest things." Why, it's almost like going through menopause because you listened to some internet rando about estrogen giving you all the cancerz - even though if you are, as you say, "cancer-free", and had a total hysterectomy, you're not really at risk - instead of listening to the doctor who prescribed it (whichever one of the five names you claim was on the scrip it was). Amazing how that happens. Good luck on however long it lasts for you. Did you know that it can last anywhere from a month to a decade?The human body is genuinely amazing.
Says she is actually sweating these days, even though she is "not a sweater" and says this could be a sign of dehydration. No, dumbass, it is not. Where exactly do you think the body is going to find water to sweat out if you're dehydrated? You're getting perilously close to me reporting this video. I warned you about that.
All of this is just her laying the groundwork for her to quit ozempic, just like she quits everything else. When she does, she'll say she knows how to lose weight now, an the channel will go from "not a weight loss channel" back to an "actively gaining weight channel" - its true nature.
Skipping the rest of her blah blah blah about side effects.
Outside at night. No vitamin D that way. She's taking a walk, huffing as she goes. What happened to all that stamina, gorl? Yammering about a nearby trail that has a "bridge moment" IT IS NOT A MOMENT. FFS, "getting anxiety" because there are cars around", does her stupid piggy squeal
then keeps blathering on and I'm not even paying attention to her because she's an idiot and oh, her muh mentalz.
Burning a wax melt, the particulates of which are bad for animals and humans alike. Then again, she doesn't really care about her health, and she certainly does not care about the health of her animals, as we - and Chili's - know.
Showing her hoard of journals. Don't care, skipping.
Back to food. eating those ginger chew candies that she pretends are not candy. Looks like a giant toddler with Mickey Mouse hands trying to open one of them.
She finally managed to open one and then I noped through the rest thanks to her smacking because she has zero manners and was pandering to the feeders. this section did go to the very end. At least I didn't have to hear her stupid signoff.
TL;W/R: As usual, food always takes the most air time in the amberverse. Today it was nasty taco lentil soup to lead off and cleanser /disinfectant smelling ginger candies to end things. Her ability to consistently eat garbage will always be mystifying. Claims people want her to start a book club, and while that's just a lie, if she does it, that will probably last as long as her patreon or onlyfans. Takes a walk at night, and is skurred of cars and other people; talks about walking a trail, which will never happen. Shows off her journal hoard, just as she did when they lived with Eric and Ricky. Just like the rest of the amberverse, if she gets rid of a thing, it's only so that another of that thing can be bought to hoard it. Struggles to open a piece of candyto eat, starts talking some more while she's obnoxiously chewing, and I hope those feeder bucks are worth your performative Ozempic phase, gorl. The End.
